#and can be anyone who relates. any orher autistic people have this problem? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

autisticlee · 11 months ago

Text

that feeling when you're autistic and put on so many masks, played so many parts, created so many personas, etc. to try to fit in and please people due to being severely bullied or abused or whatever, that you have no clue who you are. you never developed a "self" ever. you don't have a personality, but you also have 10+ different ones that come out at different times. you don't know what you like or enjoy because it depends on what persona is in control at the time, so it always changes. you contradict yourself a lot. you like something one moment, but can hate it the next. you try to ~be yourself~ but you don't know which of these persona masks are "you." are they all you? are none of them you? how do you know?

#autism things #autistic #autism #actually autistic #lee rambles #the “you” here is me #and can be anyone who relates. any orher autistic people have this problem?#idk which of these silly little guys is actually me. let them fight each other to figure it out or something #also shoutout to all of them failing at their job and not convincing anyone. the mask never worked. it did nothing at all lmao #cant mask to save my life. but not masking doesn't mean im being “myself” either. idk what this is or how to be “me”#why can't they decide on anything and agree with each other. too many contradictions to choose one “self”#i think about this too much and can never come to a conclusion. ive told people idk who i am and have no self #but they insist i do have a self and personality and stuff. but inside its just chaos with a bunch of gremlins running wild #😫

6 notes · View notes