#and by running away I mean going to stay with my cousin who lives 20 minutes away

[wormtiddies]

hi besties I might be running away from home for a week :)

[lilylived]

One of the things that really used to give me existential crisis is how people can spend their entire life carefully building a lot of delicate things, only for someone else to easily tear it down in a second.

Like I have a cousin who was murdered in a home invasion about 20 years ago. His mom is my nicest aunt by far..... really gentle and patient. She was a math genius and became the dean of her university dept, at a time when there was mostly just men in her field. She got married, had two kids, a nice house. Then one day she and my uncle get back home from a trip and find their 16 yo son murdered really brutally.

At that point, most life views and philosophies don't make sense at all. Because how are you going to painstakenly build up a nice life for decades, only to have it wrecked beyond saving in a quick act of violence by someone else.

It's so easy for evil impulsive people to destroy the things that others carefully build up. The more precious something is, the more vulnerable it is to that kind of damage. You can put a nice bow on the "recovery" afterwards... but often there is no recovery to certain things.

My aunt, uncle, and cousin live a husk of a life even 20 years later. And you can't ever expect them to move past that.

None of it really made sense to me in the "meaning of life" context. It always bothered me in the back of my mind, until I learned more about what Islam says about these things.

1. InshaAllah my cousin would have been a martyr since he fought for his life

2. Martyrs feel a very small amount of pain in death. In the context of brutality, this is a huge relief.

3. The pain his family feels is something they will rewarded greatly for (iA).

4. Everything good that you work and struggle for is something you can also be rewarded for, even if it doesn't work out in the end. In fact, if it fails and you stay patient, you might get rewarded even more. Nothing you strive for is forgotten.

5. People may get away with evil in this short life, but they will still have to face true justice in the next. They are only allowed to run around doing evil like this for a very short time.

It's insane that so many people who lived their lives with dignity and care are having it end with this much brutality. They're being slandered even in death. But this is absolutely not the end and all their efforts aren't in vain.

[letstalkaboutit100]

Pt 20/pt 2 of Lizzie's episode (This is after way too wonderland)

Courtly's plan is to have all of Wonderland turn their backs on Lizzie and her family! She wants the throne! *Well she can't have it!* Lizzie thought. "Enough!" *everyone freezes and looks at her while Courtly tries to escape* "All of Wonderland listen! I do love you! I care about our home and our future! My destiny is to become your next Queen and I take great pride and honor in that! You are not all just friends or subjects but my family! I stood by you! I fought for and with you! You all know me! You all know that I'm still just a kid with dreams of my own! Wonderland will always be my home and its welfare is my first priority! You all know that I am WAY too young to become Queen now! My mother is still in excellent health! I have so many things I want to do before I become your Queen! Just because I don't want to now doesn't mean I don't want to ever! It's a lot of pressure but I promise just as I have just sworn *you know when someone is about to be crowned king or queen that makes an oath? that's what she means* to be loyal to my kingdom and all who live here!" "It is you!" *Points to Courtly who somehow still hasn't escaped lol* "Who doesn't care for Wonderland! Who doesn't care for it's people!" "You tired to force me into my destiny early thinking that I don't want to be Queen at all when in truth it's all that I think about! Sure I want to be a fashion designer, but you know what? Who says I can't do both!? I AM following my destiny but I'm following it my way! There may be detours along the way! There may be bumpy roads ahead! But it's all worth it in order to secure Wonderland's future!" *Points her scepter to the ceiling* *Every cheers and claps and wipes tears from their eyes* *Lizzie looks down and has a shy smile on her face* *She looks back up and says while pointing her scepter at Courtly* "Guards! Capture that trickster!" "And take her to the dungeon!" *Courtly tries to wiggle out of the guard's arms but fails* "W-WHAT?! NO! She's lying! I do care! I care for Wonderland as if it's my own kingdom! WHICH IT SHOULD BE! Lizzie hearts and her mother are-" Chase: *Takes off his helmet* "Oh give it a rest Courtly. You're not taking over Wonderland today." Lizzie: "Or ever!" *Courtly looks behind her to Chase with a shocked face* "C-CHASE?! D-did I say takeover the kingdom?" "Yeah, you did" "Oh! Well, I-I didn't mean it! I was just HELPING Lizzie! Yes! I was helping her to-" Kitty: "Oh shut up Courtly!" (I feel it would be funny if they were somehow cousins. Maybe friends but then became enemies or something.) "Stay out of it feline!" "Ok! Off you go!" (Got a bit protected of kitty lol!) *Chase still holding her hands behind her back ushes her to walk forward to the dungeon.* "NO! C-Chase baby! C-Can't we talk about this?! I'll make you a deal! You let me go and help me take over Wonderland and I'll make you my king!" *Everyone says EW! lol* "No way!" "OK! Ok! How about captain of the guard!" Lizzie: "That won't be necessary." "Oh? Really?! Why is that royal brat?" Chae: "OK! I've had just about enough of you-" *Lizzie holds out her hand to silence him* "That won't be necessary because when I'm Queen Chase will be my first choice to become captain. Now take her away!" *Chase bows down to Lizzie and gives her a silly wink* "Yes Your Majesty." LM: "And good riddance!" *everyone stops and looks back to the real Queen of Hearts forgetting that she was here* (She escaped at some point and went to the mad hatters when everyone else was planning on what to do and told them everything How Courtly snuck into the palace and kidnapped her and locked her and up in her own dungeon! And when Lizzie found her Courtly threatened her Mother's safety so she escaped with Chase's help. She also did a funny war cry when her and the other came through the doors lol. She feels like a badass warrior queen to me) *Lizzie runs to her mom* "Mom!" *they hug* "I am so proud of you!" *They have a mother-daughter moment and talk about what she said in her speech and stuff* They have a big feast, talk, and go home!

[theflytecharm]

YEAH in this au marcias like that is my baby brother no I've never actually been able to physically touch him yes he is from medieval times. I don't see what this has to do with anything. She'd be so offended that any version of herself could ever be mean to him. They r besties who tell each other everything (or. Marcia tells Most things but she does see marcellus very much as a child bc he. Is. She's like 20 when he's maybe 10 so she doesn't tell him Everything but they're super close) and when he ends up in the future she introduces him to everyone as her little cousin from overseas who's parents r dead so he's staying with her. She does tell alther who he actually is tho bc alther figured out where she was disappearing to not long after the start of her apprenticeship and asked her abt it and she didn't want to lie to him,,, she didn't tell him Who she was talking to just that it was a friend and she wasn't at any risk of going through the glass.

And. Yeah <33 they r autistic. Together 😌😌 marcellus knows some basic magyk in this au and marcia knows some physik and a lot of the theory of alchemy. Also I should clarify marcellus stays in the future in this au. He never goes home ever he just lives in the future now,, things in the past play out mostly the same as in canon but marcellus's role is played by a different alchemist who isn't such close friends with julius so there's some suspicion that the alchemy disaster wasn't entirely the alchemists fault and that's why alchemy isn't Quite so hated in the future.

Marcellus being more argumentative!! I think in canon he would have stayed quiet just bc. He wouldn't have seen a way out. Like etheldredda is essentially unkillable and if he ever dares to act out what happened to his sisters could happen to him. But with marcias influence he kind of starts pushing boundaries and asking questions and sneaking around and stealing things because marcias optimism rubs off on him and he's sure that he'll be able to save his sister this time, definitely. If things get really bad he can run away with the money from stolen items. I have a lot of thoughts abt marcellus and etheldredda and maybe one day I'll even elaborate on them abdjdbdjbd

AND. YEAH marcia does get affected by marcellus also <3 ur right she is a lot more tolerant of ppl in general tbh like especially after marcellus is in the future. If she can handle a grieving 13 yr old she can handle anything. She's also a lot more polite?? Like marcellus was taught Court Rules since he was tiny and started teaching them to marcia just for fun and obviously most of them r incredibly outdated but the same principles apply so while she is still bitchy and rude she is bitchy and rude in such a way that no one can ever call her out on it. Most of the time. Sometimes she snaps <3 Maybe she comes across a little old fashioned sometimes but that only adds to the effect,, she has learned Social Skill and by god is she going to use it.

There's also the fact that she considers marcellus her brother + has decided to honour his older bio sister by doing her absolute best to take care of him. When he's in the past this is 100% just talking with him and trying to give advice and steer him away from trouble (she fails miserably on that) and when he's in the future she's a lot more involved,, unfortunately (for her) this means she has a Big Sister Mode that activates every time she sees someone younger than her having a bad time and she HATES it bc all the castle kids literally love her and r bugging her all the time. Anyway I do have more to say but maybe I'll make an actual post with a readmore instead of putting it in ur inbox abdjdnsjfn

I love this au, it's so cute to see marcellus being looked after for once lmao

I wanna see the grown up pair of them start working together on alchemy and magyk too, kinda like julius but without the whole blame and betrayal bit. Alchemy being suspicious but not outright banned is fun too, would it end up being treated kinda like witches are (though with the bonus of hopefully less kidnapping involved)? Or more accepted than that

Marcellus having marcias influence and a way out is v interesting, in the canon it does seem like his only way out is to outlast etheldredda so he puts so much effort into a tincture that actually works. But if he's out would he put so much time and effort into it? Or just let it be and get on with a normal length life this time?

I love Social Skill marcia, she's such a person to learn the rules to break the rules (or bend the rules to breaking point without actually breaking them, leaving room for plausible deniability). I can also see them researching Why different rules and etiquette exist just so they understand why people do what they do, even if it's old stuff that's not really relevant anymore

BIG SISTER MARCIA!!!!! she's such a softie <3

Does marcellus get a chance to grieve his sisters in the past? Not even as in a funeral or something, but did he just have to pretend it's all fine until he got out?

[cjsinkythoughts]

FATWS One Shot #5 - Reminiscing

Word Count: 1195

Warnings: Mention of The Fall, Cursing, Teasing, Fluff, Not Much Else

Setting/Characters: Takes place before they moved to D.C., so before Stars, Stripes, and Bubbles and CA:TWS; In New York City; Reader, Steve Rogers

A/N: I didn’t post any writing today so I whipped this up because I wanted to at least put a dent in the One Shot list. I know it’s a bit out of order, but I got this request and I wanted to make it separate from the movie scenes because I felt like Steve would’ve told her this before. They also hadn’t visited the museum yet, obviously, or else she’d know about him already. It’s just a cute little thing about the good ole days. It’s a bit shorter, but there wasn’t much more to add and I like it the way it is.

I’ll try posting more this week; I’m babysitting my little cousin tomorrow and Tuesday, but I’m off work Wednesday, so I’ll be able to write more then. The next One Shot is already being worked on; it’s back in order so it’s gonna take place during TWS. I have to update the One Shot list to accommodate the ideas brainstormed between myself, a couple friends, and you lovely readers.

This isn’t beta’d, as usual, so please excuse any mistakes! Be kind to yourselves and others! Enjoy this one, thank you for reading, and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

You let out a wolf whistle, leaning on the back of Steve’s chair. “Who is that? He’s pretty cute. You know, for someone from a hundred years ago.”

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes at you with a smile on his lips. It fell when he looked back down at the black and white picture that was fraying at the ends and had a tint to it from the time it’s spent on the earth. The young man you were pointing at, probably mid-20s if you had to guess, was grinning at the camera, looking sharp in an Army uniform, hat tilted on his head.

“That’s…Bucky.”

“Bucky?” You snickered, but then you caught sight of the far off look in Steve’s eye and found yourself frowning. “Who was he?”

“He was…” Steve sighed, leaning back into the chair, his head falling back onto your forearm. “He was my best friend.”

You set your chin on his shoulder, looking at another picture, yellowing with time. He was in that one too, over to the side with a cigarette in his mouth, his arm around two other soldiers, dark hair slicked back. You had heard about the Howling Commandos, who you were guessing were the other guys in the photo. Everyone learned about them in history class in grade school. Captain America and his Commandos fighting against HYDRA, beating the Nazis and saving the day. “Did you meet in Italy?”

“No.” Steve shook his head, carefully setting down the beat up picture. “We…we met when we were kids. We grew up together. In Brooklyn.”

Humming, you studied him, noting the tightened jaw and the crease in his brow, you looked down and tilted your head, spotting another picture of the two of them smiling. Tracing it gently, you tenderly inquired, “he meant a lot to you?”

“He was my brother. He was always there for me. At my lowest, he held me up. I never was truly alone. I always had him.”

You could hear the grief in his voice as he spoke in adoration about the man, frozen in time with a smile on his face in a frame to protect him from fading. “What happened?” You asked softly, running your fingers through Steve’s gold locks that were falling in his eyes.

Steve gave a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. “A mission went sideways. To catch Zola?” He looked up at you to see if you had read about that particular operation of theirs in a file somewhere. You nodded, remembering vaguely the mission he was talking about.

“A train in the Alps, right? I thought you caught him, though.”

The man nodded, sad eyes avoiding your gaze. “We did. But…we were ambushed. Bucky…Bucky and I were separated. I tried to get to him…I couldn’t-” He stopped talking, closing his eyes to compose himself. “He fell and I couldn’t reach him in time.”

“Steve…” you shook your head, scratching that spot at the nape of his neck you knew helped him relax. “It wasn’t your fault, bubs.” He opened his mouth to argue, but decided against it and nodded. “May I?”

He nodded again when you gestured to the box he had on the desk in front of him, letting you look through the other pictures he had. “Tell me about him.”

The blonde gave a little chuckle, smiling fondly at the memories spinning around in his brain. “He was a jerk. He always tried to keep my outta trouble. We met after some kids tried stealing my lunch money. I-I kinda tried fighting them. He beat ‘em up for me.”

“You never did like bullies.”

He grinned at you. “No…no I didn’t. There was this one time…”

You leaned your cheek against his shoulder and watched his face light up as he told you stories about him and Bucky being boys. Playing in the mud, racing through Central Park, going to Coney Island, eating ice cream, sitting on the fire escape. 

“He used to read to me. A lot. When I got sick and stuff. He liked reading. He told me it was his way of taking me somewhere without getting outta bed. I used to draw him scenes from his favorite books while listening. It gave me something to do with my hands. That’s why I picked it up. I could do it from bed.”

“Did he draw too?”

“Hell no! Pal could barely draw a stick figure! I made him take this art class with me and all he did was mope about it because it was the only class he had trouble in. But it was our agreement; he could take me to the gym he went to if he came with me to class.”

You giggled at the image of scrawny little Steve in a gym. “You went to a gym?”

He gave you a bemused look. “You’re not funny. Yes I went to a gym. I didn’t do much. Bucky trained a lot though. He was the YMCA welterweight champion three years in a row.”

“No kidding.” You picked up a picture of Bucky sitting on a couple steps, a t-shirt tucked into pants being held up by suspenders. “Look at those arms.”

“Shuddup!” Steve laughed, pushing you playfully. 

You sniggered. “I’m just saying. I bet he got all the ladies.”

“Are you kidding? Dames lined up at the door to dance with him. You would’ve too,” he poked your side. “If you lived back then.”

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “He’s cute, but I’d much rather watch you draw.”

Steve snorted. “Trust me. You’d be singing a different tune if you met him. You would’ve liked him. He would’ve liked you.” He went quiet, his expression morphing into one of contemplation.

“Well anyone willing to stand up and hang out with that stubborn kid from Brooklyn has my vote.” You joked, ruffling his locks.

Steve didn’t say anything. He just looked at you for a minute, before turning back to the pictures and starting to clear them away. “I’m gonna put these away and we can go for that run, alright?”

You nodded, getting off of him and stretching. “Alright. But you can’t lap me again!” He chortled at that, smirking not so innocently. “I’m so serious, Rogers! That was mean! I feel so out of shape when you do that!”

“Alright, alright. I won’t honey. I promise.” He grabbed your hand and placed a kiss to your knuckles. “And you’re beautiful no matter what, okay?”

“Sure, bubba.”

“I mean it!”

You smiled at his insistence, his eyebrow knit together in seriousness. “Okay. Meet me outside when you’re done.”

“Yes ma’am!” He nodded, spinning back to his keepsakes and adding as an afterthought, “wanna go see a moving picture?”

You gave him an amused look, trying not to laugh. “Yeah, Stevie. I’d love to go see a movie with you.”

He blushed, the tips of his ears turning bright red. “Movies. Right.”

“Don’t worry about it, Steve. It’s endearing.” You winked at him as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Now hurry up. I wanna get out there before it gets too hot.”

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All Works Taglist (Open):

@happygoreading​ @bibliophilewednesday​ @breadqueen95​ @marvelettesassemble​ @w-wolfhxrd​

[the-final-sif]

I was thinking about different way the league could try to kidnap Katsuki and thought what if they just adopted him. Like got the paperwork filled it out (using an alias) and just battled the Bakugous for custody. Yeah, they're villians, but the paperwork checks out, and they can provide all necessary essentials, and maybe the Bakugous aren't the best parents.

This idea is extremely funny to me, and so I tried to think of a way it could work out that even kinda makes sense. After talking about it in the discord, I think I figured it out. (Set after USJ & sports festival, but pre-any kidnapping stuff)

We’re going to assume Bad Parents!Bakugous, with the situation being bad enough Katsuki is removed from their custody. The plan was for Aizawa / UA to take custody of him after that.

Only, there’s 1 tiny flaw in that plan. Katsuki’s quirk.

See, Katsuki’s quirk is considered a ‘dangerous’ quirk. 99% of the time this doesn’t matter, but there’s an old law regarding child custody that comes into play with dangerous quirks.

The law basically says that if a child has a ‘dangerous’ quirk, and their removed from their birth family’s custody, other relatives MUST be contacted to see if they are willing + capable of taking custody of the child. Even distant relatives.

Furthermore, if a relative wants the child (and passes a few other criteria), then they are all but guaranteed custody, even if there’s other circumstances that would usually prevent it. If the relative has a similar quirk to the child, that boosts their chances even further / offers extra protections.

The law was created during an earlier period of quirks, when ‘dangerous’ quirks were extremely hard to handle, and usually only family members with similar quirks could do it. It’s not a great law, but nobody’s gotten around to removing it since it doesn’t come into play often.

But of course, Katsuki isn’t so lucky. He has three relatives that have to be contacted and decline custody of him before Aizawa can claim it. He’s never met any of these people, has never had much contact with any extended family, but now he has to wait for them to say no before he can move on with this bullshit.

Two are easy enough, both are great uncles or something similar and live in assisted living facilities. Neither have the interest / capacity for Katsuki.

And then there’s Katsuki’s distant cousin on his dad’s side.

Honestly, it’s such bullshit. The guy went missing ages ago. His whole family was confirmed dead, but apparently the guy himself wasn’t, and since he’s still considered alive, they have to at least try to contact him.

A newspaper ad goes up for “Tenko Shimura”, there’s a 15 day waiting period while the ad runs, and then they should finally be free to move on.

Except, holy shit, turns out the guy isn’t actually dead.

He saw the newspaper ad, and actually calls in out of curiosity.

Katsuki is taken off guard and relieved, because the guy will say no, and then they can finish this, right?

Right?

Only, the guy doesn’t say no.

He doesn’t say yes either, but he asks to be put in contact with Katsuki so he can discuss it.

Katsuki is so done with all of this, but he agrees to talk to the guy hoping to convince him it’s fine for Aizawa / UA to take custody.

Tenko & Katsuki talk on the phone for an hour, and by the end of their first conversation, Tenko isn’t convinced it’s fine and now Katsuki isn’t either.

Because, fuck, the guy actually sounded nice. And nothing he said was wrong either. Tenko was worried about the sports festival (and Katsuki has to admit, hearing an adult express concern for him & tell him what happened to him was bad for the very first time took a weight off his shoulders he hadn’t known he was carrying), he was worried about how UA had handled him so far, and he was worried what would happen if Katsuki didn’t have any outside figures to turn to in the future.

Several long phone calls later, including one between Aizawa & Tenko, and it’s been decided. While Katsuki will be staying at UA and living primarily in the dorms set up for international students (since Tenko lives quite a ways away), custody of him will be going to Tenko.

Aizawa isn’t exactly happy about it, but that law gives Tenko the first claim, and he has to admit that Tenko raises quite a few good points. After having spoken to him at length, Aizawa feels like he has Katsuki’s best interests in mind too.

Paperwork goes through, things are set in motion, and in the meantime, Katsuki keeps calling / texting with Tenko, slowly growing closer to his cousin. Turns out the two have a lot in common.

Tenko also have family issues and was adopted, which is why he appeared to go “missing”. In reality he’s just been living under a different name. His quirk is apparently related to his hands and also considered ‘dangerous’ although he doesn’t like to discuss it, and he and Katsuki are both very blunt people, meaning they get along great.

Finally, everything is said and done, and Katsuki is going to go on a weekend trip up to where Tenko lives to meet him in person for the very first time. He’s given a train station and told he’ll be met there, and he’s honestly kinda excited for it.

Throughout the court case, Aizawa was the only one from UA allowed to have access to all the records / be in contact with Tenko. He couldn’t even discuss things with anyone else.

Now it’s all over though, he’s in the staff room and only half engaged in the current planning session. Mostly focused on his phone / checking in with Katsuki.

Mic teases him about being worried, and Aizawa just mumbles that he’s still kinda unsure of this ‘Shimura’ guy.

All-Might, who is also at this meeting, does a spit take.

It takes several seconds for him to regain himself.

He’s sure he must’ve just misheard though.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I just got confused about something for a moment. What did you say the name of Katsuki's new parent was again?"

 “The guy’s legal name is Tenko Shimura, although he apparently stopped going by that awhile ago, which was why he came up as missing. He responded to a newspaper ad though and was able to verify his identity."

All-Might.exe has stopped working.

It has to be a coincidence. There's no way.

"Tenko... Shimura? His name, uh, well I used to know someone by that name. How old was he again? And why was he chosen?"

Aizawa is a little confused, but still not concerned, he just assumes All-Might happened to know the guy.

"He's 20, which is young to be taking on a kid, but he's properly prepared for. It was the quirk-relation law that set it in stone. Shimura is a distant cousin and has similar quirk to Katsuki, the specifics were a little hazy, but a dangerous hand-related quirk. Why?"

All-Might needs several seconds before he can speak.

“Tenko Shimura is Tomura Shigaraki.”

“... What?”

“Tenko Shimura, that was Tomura Shigaraki’s birth name. That’s- That’s him. There’s nobody else that could be.”

“WHAT?!”

Yeah, so they try to get in contact with Katsuki but it’s too late, Kurogiri already ‘picked him up’ and his phone is not working in the underground area he’s in.

Anyways, so Tomura introduces himself, and Katsuki spends awhile trying to fight him but not really getting anywhere until Tomura is finally able to convince him to let Tomura explain himself.

Katsuki is Upset, but also wants Answers.

Tomura reveals that he never lied, he was Tenko Shimura, and everything he told Katsuki was true. Truths were certainly omitted, but he never lied. And he has no bad intentions towards Katsuki.

He saw the newspaper ad, and having seen what happened at the sports festival, felt compelled to step in. He promises he just wants to be a good guardian.

And Katsuki does not want to believe that. He doesn’t.

Except, at the end of their scheduled time, Tomura just,,,, lets him go. No demands that Katsuki can’t tell anyone what happened, no threats, nothing.

Kurogiri just teleports him back out to some place near UA and bids him goodnight, very pleased to see Tomura taking this seriously & that he now has a grandchild.

Katsuki shows back up at UA, after 12 hours of them searching for him frantically, and he’s just as confused as they are.

Obviously, they try to remove custody from Tomura after that.

Problem: They can’t.

Between the bullshit law from before, and the fact Tomura has never actually been caught / arrested / charged with a crime, they legally cannot remove Katsuki from Tomura’s custody.

He would have to fail as a guardian for Katsuki in order for them to remove him. Until then, he’s got custody.

This is just something they’re going to have to live with.

Katsuki Is So Done.

When he goes into class on Monday, a very excited Kirishima greets him.

"So dude? How did visiting your cousin go? What was he like?"

"You know that guy who attacked us at USJ? The guy with the creepy hands who almost killed Aizawa?" 

“... Uh, yeah?”

“Turns out that’s my cousin.”

"Oh my god! What the hell dude! Are you okay???"

“Unfortunately, yes.”

Welcome to the Katsuki Shimura AU, where Katsuki’s life is weird and Parent-Teacher conferences get fucking awkward.

[rantingalone]

Sad

How can I make my mom proud of me?? How do I stop these thoughts and feelings??

Summary: I feel so disappointed in myself and am a total failure.

I’m not gonna sit here and act like I got struggles, cause I know there are people who have it worse than me. I just wanna talk about how my mom has been treating me for the longest and still is.

I don’t work, but I go to school and do school full time. I know there are a lot of people who work and do school full time, but idk how they can do it and I give them a lot of respect.

I used to work part time and do school part time, but my mom complained that it was too far away and I wasn’t getting paid enough. I had to give her $20 bucks for gas, $50 for the pet bill for the rent, and $100 for the light bill. So I would usually have $30 bucks left over, but my mom would guilt trip me to buy her food, cause she didn’t want to cook (if I were to cook for her she would complain that I’m so useless I can’t even cook and that it’s terrible). So I would be left with at least $12 bucks which the bank would take away as a fee sometimes. So yea I wasn’t making much and she wanted me to quit, so I did.

I applied to a Dillards that was near my house, but I really messed up in the interview by stuttering and it was just a whole ass mess. My mom said it was cause of my appearance, that I had to do my makeup and do my hair. She got accepted to do another interview, but she left cause she didn’t like how the boss just walked past her and didn’t greet her.

So now I’m a freeloader, basically. I just stay home. When I get money from my school my mom gets it in her bank account (since she made me delete my own account) she gives me the money in cash and asks me for money whenever she needs it. I don’t really mind about the money and I think she should just leave it in her account and use it if she needs it.

What I hate is how nice she is to me when I get my money. Whenever I get money my mom is happy and doesn’t call me useless, lazy, ugly, crazy, dumb, or fat. She calls me her favorite, the best, and hugs me a lot more. But then as soon as the money runs out, she’s mean again. That’s another thing! My dad gets mad at me for wasting money, but if I tell him what I spend the money on, my mom gets mad at me for telling cause he tells her to stop making me spend money. My mom tells me I’m not working and the least I can do is give her money, which is fair. But my dad doesn’t like that and doesn’t want her to do that anymore.

She compares me to other people all the time. Like my cousins who work and go to school. Or people she meets at supermarkets, salons, or any store.

It just makes me feel so disappointed in myself. I feel like such a failure to my mom and I want to make her proud of me. I tried telling her that, but she would just laugh as soon as I start crying, she just says I’m crazy and being stupid. It makes me feel terrible. I know it’s probably just tough love and she didn’t grow up in a good family. So this is probably how they treated her.

I just wish I could talk to my mom and tell her how I feel without her making fun of me or call me names. I know she’s not physically abusing me and I should be happy about that, and I am. I should be happy that I only have to worry about school and not have to worry about going to work, car bills, gas, or rent. I’m really grateful they didn’t kick me out as soon as I turned 18 (which would have never happened, because my mom laughed when I was planning on living on college campus, cause how was someone as useless as me gonna live on my own.) I wish I could be like the people she compares me to. I wish she would always look at me and be proud of me even when the money goes away.

I know this isn’t that big of a deal to end my life over, but I really don’t see why I should even continue with how fucking useless I am. It’s really just me. I’m such a fucking failure and a fuck up. That my mom sees me as useless, lazy, fat-ass piece of shit. But of course whenever it gets to the point where I’m about to do it, I freak out and stop. Im so useless I can’t even end my life.

I wish I could talk to my family about my issues or suicidal thoughts. But I just know they’re gonna call me dumb and crazy. That what I’m going through is nothing compared to what they went through. I’m so weak-minded. I wish I was like them. I tried to talk to my sister about how I feel, but she just says that I don’t feel that way and I’m just trying to get attention.

I wish I could talk to anyone irl. But I know I wouldn’t, cause I can’t trust people. How can I trust others when I can’t even trust my own family?

[althephie]

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 - 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢

to 100-0

like so sad

do i feel bad for doing this to yall yes. but i am curel to myself too! so have fun!

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 - 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢

- akaashi took advantage of his childhood friend y/n knowingly, and ghosted her for someone else.

I got my driver's license last week

her e/c looked out of the front of her car watching herself drive past down her street.

Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me

the female could feel her eyes watering as her tears stream down her face wetting it. reminding her of the day that she found the love of her life with someon else. oh how much she cried that day.

she wanted to punch his stupid perfect face

perfect eyes

perfect body

perfect everything

akaashi was just perfect.

that it was too good to be true

To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around

y/n was so heartbroken when she saw him at their favorite cafe with someone else. he had ghosted her for the past 2 weeks and barely contacted her. they were dating still and it hurt her.

on a very cold winter day, she decided to go get some coffee. instead of happy memories rushing in the heartache did.

And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me

she was a pretty blonde foreign girl, who was tall and had beautiful green eyes. she was definitely older than y/n and akaashi. she was mature. she had a perfect body.

she was perfect.

perfect eyes

perfect body

perfect everything.

the blonde was also just perfect.

She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

the h/c was driving mindlessly as despair surged into her body as if it was her only life support. the only thing that kept her alive was her own depression.

ironic isn't it?

the thing that killed many, made her stay alive.

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

another round of tears flooded her eyes as a sinking feeling in her chest bloomed. she remebered confronting him alone.

he kept a straight face.

his once warm eyes were now cold.

he looked at her with such disgust and annoyance.

it broke y/n...it made her feel so insecure.

so useless

so stupid

all the dark-haired male had to say was....

" bye."

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Lifeless e/c eyes looked and examined the house that he lived in remebering all the times they had in his front yard.

the small cheesy picnics

the snowball fights with their friends

the stargazing

the pictures they took of each other.

the warm feeling of the sun touching their skin while their hearts skipped a beat each time they touched or made eye contact.

And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them

her friends

their friends

they did not know about his girlfriend, until they all reunited during spring break of her 2nd year of college. instead of seeing y/n and akaashi being lovey dovey. they saw akaashi and some girl.

who even was she?

y/n’s once lively self was dull and stoic. usually she would jump into bokutos arms and fangirl over how cute hinata was still, but instead they all received a fake smile. it broke their hearts and angered many.

'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you

bokuto, the one who introduced you two as children was offended. she was his cousin. he asked akaashi for his reasons without anyone knowing. akaashi just looked away and shrug.

And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh

“ i didn’t feel the spark anymore, but when i met Kila. she became the sun in my eyes. she is so bright and gorgeous. she is just...amazing….”

“ y/n was just the moon during a winter sky. cute but dull and boring. she could be bright, but did not stand out, i guess ”

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

in that moment, akaashi’s grey-blue eyes widened when he saw a fist coming straight to his face. Akaashi fell to the floor and looked up at his senpai in shock.

he had never seen bokuto look that scary before. instead of going into emo mode, he went into pissed off mode. His eyes piercing into the younger males soul

the nerve

Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

“ WE ARE ALL CHILDHOOD FRIENDS!! SHE LOVED YOU!! AKAASHI” the white-haired male shouted with tears running down, “ YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BROTHER!! YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD NEVER HURT HER!! YOU ASSHOLE!”

“ Y/N IS NOT DULL!! SHE IS NOT JUST CUTE! SHE IS FUCKING GORGEOUS WAY BETTER THAN THAT STUPID BLONDE YOU HAVE NOW!! “

unknowest to them, y/n was sitting against the wall of the building the two had met up and cried silently.

“ YOU-Yo...You promised me...you promised.”

bokuto weeps falling onto his knees infront of his bestfriend.

he promised to take care of her and love her

to never hurt her

and he failed

“ i guess her light is to bright that it...*choke* it blinded you akaashi....it blinded you from seeing her beauty.”

Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

this y/n shook her head and woke up from her daydreaming. she did not know that she stopped the car in front of his house for a minuts. the s/c female sighed shakingly and pushed on the pedal to continue on going.

she needed to move on...but she knew she would never.

Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

she continued on driving more hearing his laugh ringing in her ears as memories kept on flushing through. she hoped he was happy

she hoped it was worth it for him

losing all his friends

losing his bestfriend

losing her

Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

present y/n looked up with a microphone in hand as she watched the audience infront of her sing the lyrics.

they all looked at her with eyes of support

the same ones her friends and family gave her as she tried to move one

y/n broke down smiling and blowing kisses at her fans as she sang her song

I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

she was letting it out

she finally moved one

she wanted everyone to know that she was inlove once to and that no one is alone.

she felt free and happy

and...she got her drivers license. yeah, she was 20 years old, and should have gotten it earlier, but she had him...she had him to take her away from here.

now she has herself and her license

one that they planned to get it together after akaashi said that she needed one even if she sucked at driving. it made the two laugh.

now that was just a memory

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone

she sung softly

not noticing a pair of grey-blue eyes staring up at her with awe. the girl he called “ dull and boring” was far from that, he was blind.

her brightest was so bright that it made him blind.

“ whoever broke y/n like that it stupid”

“ right? when she said that her ex ghosted her and left her for someone else it was so sad! they were childhood friends too!”

“ his lost.”

“ it was your lost akaashi.” he muttered to himsef watching the female laugh and cry at the song, she wrote about their love story.

'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

she finally felt free after writing this song, but her love for the boy was still there. first love is hard fo forget of course. it’s the one that hurts the most.

she was not perfect

he was not either

it took him to realize how much he needed her

when he let her go

akaashi was wrong

she was bright

she was not dull

he was just blind to it all...

blinded by her beauty

blinded by her personality

and her glow

that it made him ignorant to it all.

maybe his beautiful y/n was too bright for him

too bright for him to handle.

as i said sorry but not sorry T-T

i am also crying tbh. if yall are.

bc idk why i hate it when ppl cheat but i keep reading angsty fanfics about it bc they are so good. don't cheat ppl it hurts

i will be uploading more on my masterlist soon! so watch out!

[literaryfic]

Chapters: 1/?
 Fandom: 빈센조 | Vincenzo (TV) 
Rating: Explicit
 Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Vincenzo Cassano | Park Joo Hyeong/Hong Cha Young
Characters: Hong Cha Young, Vincenzo Cassano | Park Joo Hyeong
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Italian Mafia, (i know nothing about the mafia so this will be very inaccurate!!!), basically vincenzo & cha-young being mafia bosses in italy


Summary: When Vincenzo Cassano came back to Italy, no one expected to see someone by his side. Or how Cha-young and Vincenzo became the head of the Cassano family. a mafia couple au inspired by a discussion with @ourgalaxybangtan @ghostrights & @whovie-reloaded

  Vincenzo had been handling most of the family business since their adoptive father’s health had started to decline. As the consigliere of the Cassano family, he was Fabio’s most trusted man, his advisor, his lawyer but also his second-in-command.

It hadn’t been easy, all these years, to climb the ladder. He wasn’t a native, he wasn’t blood, and so not many people had welcomed him at first. That’s why he had to become ruthless, so that no one could deny his authority or even dare to try. He had killed and tortured many men, broken their minds and their bones, burned their flesh and cut off their limbs, ashes and screams trailing behind him. If he wasn’t proud of the blood on his hands, he was at least proud of his work. All the hours he’d spent training, fighting, preparing, scheming, studying, all his efforts to erase Park Joo-hyung from the face of earth had paid off. The scared, weak little kid was gone, buried with all his other victims. ‘An eye for an eye, and then some’, Vincenzo lived by that, and he would stop at nothing except killing the innocent. There was no doubt he was the best at what he did and anyone who did not respect him feared him enough to not threaten him. His success was the Cassano family’s success, yet he knew that members of his own clan would not hesitate to have him killed if they could. Two clear factions had formed in the past five years, those who supported Vincenzo as the next head of the family, and those who supported Paolo, his brother. Paolo and Vincenzo had never gotten along, and Paolo’s inferiority complex and jealousy grew deeper every time his older brother had to clean up after one of his rushed job. Paolo had a particular taste for violence. Whereas Vincenzo killed and tortured because he had to, Paolo got a kick out of hurting others, be it children, women or elders. He loved to assert his dominance, to feel almighty. Vincenzo didn’t think himself much better than him, (regardless of the reasons behind his murders, he’d probably killed way more than him), but he wanted Paolo to be punished for his sins. It was only a matter of time before some influential family members whispered plans of assassination and of ‘restoring the rightful heir’ into his ear. Paolo was an angry, frustrated man who wasn’t particularly good at his job, an easy puppet to control. He’d been watching them carefully but he knew that as long as his father was alive, no one would dare to touch him. Back then he had thought he would take care of them when it came to it, become the head of his family, and continue to rule the underworld. Then, the incident happened and everything changed. He hadn’t been able to sleep for weeks, his victims’ screams haunting his dreams. He started avoiding mirrors, his reflection taunting him. He barely ate anymore, and Fabio had reminded him to get a grip. So he had done just that. He drank himself to sleep or took sleeping pills, and he went on. He knew, however, that he could not go on like this much longer. He had to get out before he buried himself next to Park Joo-hyung and all the others whose lives he’d taken. He’d started to plan his escape secretly. He would wait until his father died, staying loyal to him as long as he was alive. When the time came, he knew Paolo would try to kill him. The power struggle between them would start as soon as the head of the family would die, but instead of destroying his opponents, Vincenzo would seize the opportunity to leave. He would go back to South Korea, get the gold and leave to an island, where he would spend the rest of his days. The death of his previous Chinese client was perfect timing. As expected, Fabio, his boss and adoptive father, had named him the next head of the family in his will. It came to no surprise to most members, but murmurs spread quickly, “Can you imagine? A foreigner, as the head of our family? What has the world become?”. After wrapping things up in Italy, Vincenzo promised himself to never return, throwing away the key to the graveyard of his sins. …. There’s no going back from this, he thinks. Vincenzo is still holding Cha-young’s face, unable to look away from her lips, still wet from the kiss. Her pink cheeks, her smeared lipstick, the freckles under her fondation. Her. Hong Cha-young. His heart is soaring in his chest, all the emotions he had desperately tried to silence erupting all at once. There was no point in denying it, he had fallen in love with her. All he could do now was break his own heart, hoping it would heal. …. He realises he can’t live without her after she gets injured. They’re trying to get more information on Jang Han-seok’s paper company, and this time they’re trying to prove that some of the transactions made to European bank accounts were bribes. They’re breaking into none other than the Minister of Economy and Finance, Cha Do-won’s house. Miri had made sure to deactivate the security system and cameras, and Vincenzo was in charge of securing the place while Cha-young searched for the secret ledger the Minister kept hidden in his office. Cha Do-won was making a speech right now, and they had assumed most of his personal security would be with him. Vincenzo had quickly incapacitated the few men around the house and Cha-young looked for the ledger. After a few minutes, she found a hidden drawer in his desk. There it was, a thick documents labelled 'Accounts’. Subtlety wasn’t one of his strong points, apparently. They were about to leave when suddenly, a dozen men started to raid the place. Vincenzo fought them off as best as he could, and he was grateful that Mr. Lee barged in to help. They thought they had them all beat, and so Vincenzo made a mistake. He turned his back to the door to look for Cha-young, who he thought was behind him. “Vincenzo!”, he heard her shout his name. He sees her across the room, about to get struck by a man. He rushes to her and knocks him out quick enough. “Oh my God”, she says, “Did you see that? I almost died! He had a knife as well, and I dodged it, and then I ran—”. She keeps rambling while they get out of the house and into their car, clearly in shock. She’s getting paler as time passes, and he only notices the blood that pooled on the seat when she tries to get out of the car. She was stabbed, but the shock and adrenaline had prevented her from feeling any pain. “Oh”, she says, looking down at her wound. Vincenzo jumps out of his seat and rips the bottom half of the T-Shirt he’s wearing. “I don’t think now’s the time for that, Darling.” Even in a life-threatening situation, Cha-young is joking around. Vincenzo’s mind stops, he feels paralysed by fear, the fear of losing her, of her dying in his car, because of him. He pushes those thoughts away as he holds the fabric to her wound. “Hold this, as hard as you can.” The rest of the car ride to the hospital is a blur of running red lights, speeding in between traffic and repeating “Hong Cha-young, stay with me.” Vincenzo had faced death everyday for the last 20 years. He had killed, had seen people kill and had almost died countless of time. “There’s no limit to fear”, he’d once said to Jang Han-seok’s informant. Only now, waiting for Cha-young’s surgery to be over, does he understand what those words truly mean. During 6 hours, Vincenzo pleads and begs God, the devil, anyone willing to listen (Don’t take her. Everyone but her). He makes empty promises (I’ll do anything. I’ll stop hurting others, I’ll disappear from her life) and meaningless threats (Don’t you dare take her. I’ll kill you, too). In the end he doesn’t know who answers his prayers, and what promises seals the deal, but Cha-young wakes up and he doesn’t care. He holds her hand, stays by her side, and vows to never leave her. He starts to plan for an escape route shortly after that. In case they can’t stay in South Korea and need to take off. First, he thinks of Malta, or another island. But they would need to go somewhere they have allies, somewhere with an easy access to emergency money and resources. Italy. He contacts Luca and sets everything up, a two bed-room apartment, two bank accounts, and everything they could ever need like cash, some guns, and a car. “Consigliere, will there be another person with you?”, Luca asks. “Hopefully it won’t come to that”, he avoids the question. He knows he promised not to come back, but some promises need to be broken out of necessity. He needed to make Cha-young was safe, at all cost. His brother’s betrayal had made it easier. He’d been caught in the crossfire of their fight against Babel, killed by Choi Myung-hee in order to frame Vincenzo. But they had proved his innocence, and sent back his corpse in Milan. After Fabio’s death, Paolo hadn’t been the best replacement, and after he was killed in South Korea, they’d put in charge one of their cousins who had neither Fabio’s experience, nor Vincenzo’s mastermind. The family was in a crisis, which didn’t go unnoticed by their rivals. Soon, business started to slow down, their clients stolen by the competition and their allies started to switch teams. Money ran low. For that reason, Vincenzo didn’t run into much opposition when he came back. Most members and people in their business thought he had killed Paolo after he’d unreasonably followed him to South Korea and tried to finish him. Paolo only left disappointment and resentment behind him, and so no one missed him much. What they had not expected, however, was for Vincenzo Cassano to come back with someone.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

This Sarah Everard case is so terrifying for women. But not only am I terrified - I am furious.

⚠️ tw for mentions of r*pe, sexual assault, violence against women, murder etc. ⚠️

She was just walking, including walking by busy roads and not dark alleyways. She was dressed in winter clothes. Even if she HAD walked down a dark alleyway or been wearing something short or “revealing”, she still wasn’t doing anything wrong - she was just walking somewhere.

Her murderer - a police officer named Wayne Couzens - plotted to murder a woman to live out his perverse fantasy. He didn’t plot to kill a specific woman - he knew he would murder a woman, any woman he thought he could abduct, any woman who would be out at night on her own. Sarah was just there.

Not only did he drive miles and hours to kill a woman, not only was he a police officer… he used his badge, police belt, handcuffs and credentials to fake arrest her to get her into his car. If a police officer tells you to go with them, we’re told to not resist, to be obedient or we will be in even more trouble. Even if she HAD done what the MET have just said women should do - “question non uniformed officers!” - it wouldn’t have helped her because he was a police officer. He had the credentials. Why would she run away and resist a police officer? And if women do resist, the police commit violence against them (like at the Clapham Common vigil for Sarah).

He handcuffed her, drove her for hours, then raped and murdered her. This fucking monster strangled her with his fucking police belt. He burnt her body and disposed of her in a pond.

A police officer did this - a fucking police officer, a MET officer, the MET we’re supposed to trust. And you want women to trust them?!!

And I don’t want to hear that “don’t judge the whole profession based on one bad apple”, because guess what? This is not the first time a police officer has harmed a woman. There is misogyny rooted deep in the MET that needs to be addressed. Wayne Couzens was literally nicknamed “The Rapist” by other police officers and had offended in the past by flashing people, and that’s just what we know of - and yet not a single person did anything. The police joked about it. Several officers gave character references supportive of Couzens during the hearings for his sentencing, and female officers told the press that they did not feel as if they could report concerning behaviour by male colleagues.

It’s thought that at LEAST 15 serving or former police officers have killed women in UK since 2009, and HUNDREDS of UK police officers have convictions for crimes, including assault. There are many cases that do not go reported, and so it’s likely the numbers on both counts are actually higher. Why are they still allowed to serve? Why is our government giving them more power and freedom to arrest whoever they please? “It’s not that many” - IT SHOULD NOT BE ANY.

If you can’t see why there’s a huge problem with our police force and why we say “fuck the police”, you’re part of the problem.

And the fear and anger we feel isn’t new - this has been a problem for literally all of our lives.

At 11, I learnt to come home before dark, and if it was dark in the winter on my way home (meaning: every night in winter), I was taught to not go down any dark lanes, and if I was walking the dark lane I had to go down if I got the bus home, I was to walk as fast as I could and to not have earphones in because i wouldn’t hear attackers. Every day from September 2009 to July 2014, coming home from secondary school, I was told to either wait for my dad or grandad to pick me up or to walk down the busiest road that ran near my house and had constant cars on it. I couldn’t take the shortcut down the public footpath on my way home from sixth form college because it was too dark and isolated - I had to go around it and through the village instead, which took more time but was vaguely safer. Since university, I’ve made a point of waiting for the hourly bus that stops just round the corner from my home and on the busiest road, even though I have to wait up to an hour for it usually, because getting the bus that comes every 15 minutes means walking up the dark quiet lane.

At age 13, I learnt not to talk to even very friendly men, even not in broad daylight, even with a female friend, when some old man approached us and started complimenting us, telling us we had “nice smiles” and “I can hook you up with someone who can help you get into acting” and “here’s £10, you go down to the garage down the road and get whatever you girls want”.

At 14, I learnt not to sit in trees in the park by the gate, not even during the day when it’s sunny, when an old man entered the park, took one look at me, and said “you’ve got a nice arse”. I couldn’t prove he had said anything, and I would see him on my way to school sometimes and panic.

At 19, I learnt that I could not trust friendly men online. Apologies to any decent men I have spoken to online - there’s a few who are nice and not weird, I’m not talking about them. I learnt this when a guy I was speaking to on my old blog - who had for weeks just been generally nice and checking in on me - started to send intimate and sexual messages that started with “*hugs you*” and became “*spanks your ass*”, “takes your clothes off”, “f*cks you hard”, just to name a few (and these were the milder ones). When I asked his age, he merely said “older” than me - “more than twice as old as you”, actually. I learnt to not talk to men online, and if I did then I had to set very clear boundaries in a way that wasn’t too obvious - not say it outright but make it clear I am “unavailable”.

I have to carry a rape alarm on my keys, just in case. I could go out to bars if I wanted to, I could have at university when all my peers were - but doing it meant risking the chance of being harmed while intoxicated or on my way home. I have to send my location to my mother if I get any Ubers, if I go out to theatres or cinemas in the evening I have to text my mum to say I’ve arrived safe. I only feel safe out at night if I’m with a man that I trust like my dad or grandad - I got very lucky at Uni because not only did one girl make sure I got home safely at 1 in the morning by calling me a cab, but one boy even stayed with me on another night until my dad arrived to pick me up, because he knew leaving me intoxicated at 2:30 in the morning was dangerous. I have even phoned my grandmother while walking home in the dark because being on the phone to someone means you’re less of a target to an attacker.

Men do not have this experience - or, if they do, it’s nowhere near the fear and worry women feel every day. Women can’t even walk somewhere without being worried of being attacked - we cannot go anywhere without asking ourselves “am I safe?”. Are we wearing the “correct” clothing, so as to not give off the wrong idea? Are we walking down the well lit roads where it’s busy? Are we aware of our surroundings, of every single person nearby? Do I have my keys in my hand, ready to defend myself if I’m attacked? Women are blamed if we are attacked - not men, but women. “She was dressed slutty” “she was passed out drunk” “she was walking down a dark lane” “she was out late”.

When doing safe guarding training at my current TA job, I came across this phrase: “always think it can and will happen”. Just as a teacher or TA should not think “none of my students will be victims of abuse”, women should not for one second believe that they are safe and “it will never happen to me” - every day we have to think of how to prevent our own assault or murder, just in case.

Every time I’m walking home in the dark, I have the fleeting wonder of “what picture(s) of me will they use if I’m attacked or go missing?”. I was not really surprised when I saw that other women said the same thing. Women wonder it so often it’s almost a joke, an absent minded thought. But it’s not a joke - it’s real life for us, every single day.

Sarah Everard is not a one off case. Sabina Nessa, a 28 year old primary school teacher, was murdered on 18th September this year, her body discovered the next day by a dog walker. So far in 2021, 110 women have been murdered in the UK by men (or men are the prime suspects). Only a handful get national attention because at this point, violence and murder against women have become normalised in this country.

I am not only heartbroken for all of these women and their families - I am scared for my own safety; I am scared for the safety of my mother, my grandmother, my aunts. I am scared for the safety of my 20 year old sister, the safety of my 17 and 14 year old cousins, for the safety of my older male cousin’s two daughters who are only 4 and 1. I am scared for the safety of every single girl and woman I have worked with, the safety of every woman I have ever spoken to.

But I am also furious and filled with rage. Women should not be scared to go out or have fun, we should not have to take such precautions or measures that still won’t completely prevent our assaults or murders. I am sick and tired of the victim blaming when a woman is murdered, of the indifference of “oh another woman”, of this being how women are expected to live their lives.

I’m tired of this problem being ignored by our government, tired of no one giving a shit about us or our safety.

[blush-and-books]

high school au, pining, confession, car

i got two requests for this!!! so i hope it’s up to the hype. i always get carried away with hs aus. thank you anon!! ps. the song mentioned is chasing fire by lauv. a banger indeed. 

It was Luke’s automatic duty -- like breathing, or walking -- to drive Julie home after a gig. 

She was a new driver who was still uneasy about driving at night, and Alex would always end the night with Willie while Reggie and Flynn were always eager to delay their exit and have some more fun for a couple more hours. So when Luke got tired, and Julie and him found themselves hugging the walls of the venue or breathing heavily from a tiring set; it was customary for her to curl into the passenger seat while he pulled out of the alleyway or driveway.

It was also an excuse to spend 20 minutes alone with the beautiful girl, even if she would be half asleep sometimes when they drove home together. 

Once in awhile, she would sneak him inside and let him stay over. (But they weren’t dating or anything, obviously, because dating within the band was terrifying.)

((Only because Luke knew that Julie held his love for music in her hands. And he didn’t know what would happen if he gave her the rest of him, too.))

Tonight, they had just played a party thrown by Julie’s friend Carrie Wilson, who happened to be the cousin of their ex-rhythm guitarist -- but a gig was a gig, and a lot of their classmates were going to be there, so it was a deal they were quick to take. 

Following a six-song set and a lot of dancing, Luke felt a yawn crawling up his throat. Julie was standing off to his side, with her arm wrapped around his as if she were worried he was going to suddenly join the party and abandon her against the wall. 

But he would never. In fact, he only moved closer to her and leaned his head on top of hers that was resting against his shoulder. When she offers her bottle of water, he gladly wraps his hand around her wrist to lift the bottle to his lips and hydrate. 

“You wanna head out, Rockstar?”

Without even trying to yell over the music, she nods against his shoulder. 

Warmth filling his chest, he winds his arm around her shoulders and leads her into the entryway where the coat closet lies. Slipping on both of their coats, he is sure to wave at Reggie and Alex as he slips open the front door and holds it open for Julie; signalling their exit. 

Luke ignores the knowing grins he receives from his beloved bandmates, and slips his jean jacket over Julie’s thin sweatshirt after catching her hands rapidly rubbing up and down her arms to generate heat. 

“No, Luke, keep your jacket. It’s freezing out here.”

“I’m hot-blooded. You’re right, it’s cold, so you definitely need this.”

Pouting, she tightens the wrap of the jacket around her. “You should just let me suffer the consequences of my mistakes.”

Jumping in front of her, he opens the passenger door as if it is a ritual between the two of them. “That won’t happen if I can help it.”

Julie just rolls her eyes -- she truly, painfully, has no idea how honest he is being. 

Luke can tell she’s tired, so he does what he normally does and waits for her to start any conversation because he doesn’t want to push her. Soft music, Chasing Fire, plays through the speakers off of Julie’s playlist, and the lyrics seriously make Luke grip the steering wheel tight. 

I was driving you home in the middle of the night, but I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye

What if he did that tonight? What if he just… Sat in the car, and told her he loved her, and waited to see how she would react?

It would be so stupid. But luckily, stupid is Luke’s middle name. 

“I love these drives,” Julie hums into the cold air, contrasting with Lauv’s voice. Her words fog up the window that she is resting her head against. “It’s so nice. Quiet, and dark, and just the two of us.”

Wow, she’s definitely exhausted. Sometimes Julie gets a little loopy and sentimental when she’s tired, but shit -- Luke’s heart pumps against his ribcage with a ferocity that can only be caused by Julie Molina. 

So, since it’s late, he’ll play her game. 

“Why do you think I always jump at the chance to drive you home?” Beat. “I just like spending time with you.”

“Really?”

God, does she really not know? Does she really not see it? 

Has he been letting her feel unloved all this time?

“I thought it was obvious, Jules,” he tries to smirk but it really just is a wince. “You’re like my favorite person.”

The girl in the passenger seat stays quiet, knees tucked into her chest despite the seatbelt because the seat has practically molded to her body at this point. She belongs there, next to him. 

“You’re mine,” he hears her sigh. It’s so quiet and is almost completely muffled by the sound of a passing semi truck, but he listens and he hears it. 

It shouldn’t be what puts him over the edge. 

But it is.

“You know I love you, right?” 

Finally, her head lulls to her left so that she can face him. If he was able to look at her longer, he would see her eyes shining as if she was about to cry -- but he has to keep his eyes on the road. “I love you too, Luke. You know that.”

“No, it’s-” His knuckles bleach around the wheel. “I’m in love with you.”

Again, more silence. Luke doesn’t chance glancing at her through his peripherals because he doesn’t want to see her disgust. 

He wishes so desperately that he could be looking at her, as focused on her as he is when they are on stage or at school or not in a car where their lives are in his hands. The quiet sinks into his stomach like a lead balloon, and he has just convinced himself that he’s ruined everything as he rounds the corner into her neighborhood, when-

“You’re in love with me? Actually?”

Luke scoffs. What kind of question is that? “It’s kind of hard not to be, Julie.”

The car rolls up in front of her house. He parks and turns the key in the ignition to turn it off, wondering if Julie is going to take the chance to run. 

She doesn’t. 

The second that he shifts to face her, he catches her face practically glowing -- she’s teary-eyed, but she’s smiling, and suddenly she is leaning across the center console and pressing her lips agsainst his with her soft hands on either side of his face. 

“I love you, too. But like, the way you mean it.”

It’s his turn to be shocked. “Really?”

God, her smile makes him want to kiss her senseless; but she beats him to the punch. He wants to push for more, but the chaste kiss she gives him before responding will have to do-

“It’s kind of hard not to, Patterson.”

Alex, Reggie, and probably even his parents would beg to differ. 

But none of them matter, because Julie is in front of him, and she loves him like he loves her. 

When she invites to sneak him inside as she has done many nights in the past, she holds his hand this time around -- and he eventually does get to fulfill his wish as soon as they reach her bedroom.

[vampiresuns]

picrew credit

It’s Nana’s parents!!! [Insert Screaming Cat meme] Louisa is on the right, and Vlad on the left. Here’s a short bio and some fun facts under the cut:

🫀 Louisa De Silva 🫀

Name: Louisa Aureliana De Silva Lascal.

Meaning of the name: ‘Louisa’ means famous battle, ‘Aureliana’ means golden, gilded. She is named after her paternal grandmother (Louisa) and her mother (Aureliana).

Nicknames: Lulu, Lu, Lucha, Luchita (Lucha is the spanish diminutive for ‘Luisa’, it is, also a pun on ‘fight’, which in spanish is also “lucha”).

Family: Joaquín De Silva (father), Aureliana Lascal (Mother), Paris De Silva (younger sister, owns the Moonstone and Jasmine, the magic shop), Alma De Silva (younger sister), Aelius Anatole (son).

Place of birth: City of Altazor, Altazor, Antiqulla region (the westernmost end of the Bulan range)

Favourite Food: Pollo arvejado, with a side of rice and fries.

Favourite Drink: Chicha, with a lot of ice.

Favourite Flower: Dandelions

Birthday: Feb 22nd

Age: Mid to late fifties

Height: 5′7

Zodiac: Aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising.

Patron Arcana: The Lovers, and Knight of Wands

Upright: partnerships, duality, union, Reversed: loss of balance, one-sidedness, disharmony  

Upright: action, adventure, fearlessness, Reversed: anger, impulsiveness, recklessness     

Gender & Orientation: Cis woman, bisexual.

Languages spoken: Alzor, Venterrean, Vesuvian Common Tongue, Balkovian, some Zadithi.

Magic: N/A, though Vlad has taught her a significant amount of alchemy, she is no magician.

Familiar: N/A

Occupation: Doctor

🥀 Vlad Radošević 🥀

Name: Vladislav Elyseo Radošević-Cassano

Meaning of the name: ‘Vlad’ means rule, and ‘slav’ means glory. ‘Elyseo’ comes from Elysium and means blissful. His middle name is after Elysian Juriša-Radošević, his grandmother.

Nicknames: Vlad, Eli (used exclusively by Valerian), Moj Mali (used exclusively by Mircea, means ‘my little one’)

Family: Matilda Cassano (biological mother, deceased), Krešmir Radošević (biological father, deceased), Mircea Radoševic (uncle and adoptive father), Florentino Cassano (uncle and adoptive father), Valeriy ‘Valerius’ Radoševic-Cassano (younger brother), Aelius Anatole (son).

Place of birth: Vesuvia — he considers himself Balkovian, however.

Favourite Food: Seafood peka.

Favourite Drink: The Blood Of His Enemies Coffee and Grapefruit soda, not together.

Favourite Flower: Heather, Tansy.

Birthday: October 25th

Age: Late fifties to 60.

Height: 6′5

Zodiac: Scorpio sun, Aries moon, Virgo rising.

Patron Arcana: The Lovers and King of Cups

Upright: partnerships, duality, union, Reversed: loss of balance, one-sidedness, disharmony  

Upright: compassion, control, balance, Reversed: coldness, moodiness, bad advice

Gender & Orientation: Cis man, bisexual.

Languages spoken: Balkovian, Vesuvian Common Tongue, Venterrean, Zadithi, Alzor, Nevivic, Hesperian. His Prakran is abysmal, but he can read it.

Magic: Alchemy.

Familiar: Cyrila ‘Kiki’ and Cecilia ‘Keke’, two Somali cats. You tell them apart because Kiki looks like she’s never produced a single thought in her life, and Keke because she looks like she thinks you’re a humongous idiot.

Occupation: Alchemist, researcher. 

Fun facts 🫀🥀

Vlad’s rapier (all the R-C have one) is called ‘Beheaded Voivode’. He can set the blade aflame through Alchemy.

Louisa was exiled from Altazor at the age of 20, then lived in Venterre and Zadith, were she finished her medical studies. She moved to Balkovia for what was supposed to be a 6 months programme and scientific coven, but then she met Vlad and she ended up staying. She was exiled for opposing the dictatorial regime existing in the country.

While Louisa knows alchemy —which she learnt to become a better doctor— she doesn’t consider herself a magic user. She, however, can lend her life force to Vlad if the need arises. This creates a unity of energy between them which Vlad can channel into more powerful alchemy. This is because they’re beneficiaries of The Lovers.

Thematically both of them are about breaking bad parenting cycles. Vlad’s parents were notoriously irresponsible, neglectful and despondent parents, with Matilda being even cruel and purposefully hurtful. Louisa’s were extremely unaccommodating, strict to the point of traumatising and extremely hypocritical. Neither of them wished to have children until they realised they could do it together.

Vlad and Louisa did not marry until the war in Balkovia ended. It began months before Anatole was born, and it ended when he was around the ages of three/four.

Vlad calls Anatole ‘Lilu’ and ‘Lily’, it comes from little.

Vlad’s monocle is functional. It’s made of alchemy altered glass and it’s the design of a group of fellow alchemists and Vlad himself. He has very little vision on his left eye due to almost blowing up a room trying to stabilise fireroot. He was successful, making him the first person to ever stabilise the compound through a stable, long-lasting method. In the future, Anatole uses his father’s alchemic breakthrough to provide public lighting to the streets of Vesuvia. This method is currently used in Balkovia for public buildings, since it requires very little money to run.

Both of them are quick tempered, but understanding with people they love. It’s if they don’t like you the problem.

Originally, Vlad thought Louisa was an alchemist because she was describing the process of lightening up a Molotov.

Louisa knows how to use firearms. She learnt in Altazor, when she began getting involved in the fight and protest against the dictatorship in it. She still has good aim, but is out of practice and prefers it that way. She prefers to focus in ways to help those affected.

Her best medicine is ER medicine and field medicine. She is trained to be a war doctor and was a volunteer when time permitted in the Balkovian war.

While Louisa’s relationship with her parents eased with time, it is not good. She prefers to keep them at a distance.

Originally, Aureliana and Joaquín opposed Louisa marrying Vlad. They even tried to make her go back to Altazor or at least Venterre when the war began, but Louisa told them she would rather take out her own femur and eat it. She, clearly, harboured a lot of resentment for them, as they were key to her exile. 

Louisa’s favourite Radošević outside of her husband was Elysian. It was the first time she had a positive role model whose politics were the same as hers, and didn’t punish her for it.

Vlad’s biggest personality trait is ‘I Love My Wife, I Love My Son’.

Louisa was one of the few doctors to treat poor people in Vesuvia who caught the Plague.

Vlad can only draw objects (for invention designs) and buildings.

Both of them read a lot. It’s not weird to find them having reading dates.

Vlad has a series of Alchemic symbols tattooed around his wrist. He uses them as magic on-the-go.

When raising Anatole, they privileged communication, autonomy, self-expression and support more than anything else. Even through his argumentative teenager phase.

Speaking of their son, Anatole takes after Louisa in terms of politics, moral compass, and determination to see things done and to do what is right.

Vlad’s politics can be summarised in “If you’re told not to tamper with the shelf, and you do, and it falls on your head, then that was your own damn fault”.

Whenever Vlad began brooding because he was “sure” Louisa didn’t like him, his cats bit him.

Louisa housed and protected her sister Paris when she ran away from Altazor looking for her, upon discovering the real reason why her sister was sent away. Paris showed up out of the blue at her doorstep. Their other sister, Alma, helped her orchestrate the escape.

Louisa gets ready in 30 minutes, tops. Vlad in 2 hours.

While Valerius acts like he can’t stand her, he actually loves and respects Louisa a ridiculous amount.

Vlad is more emotional than Louisa but has more trouble showing it. He’s gotten better with time.

Vlad sails. Louisa always makes fun of him for being insanely competitive, but joke’s on her because she’s just as bad. As a true Aquarius sun and a Sag moon, she hates being told what to do. Whenever she gets like that, Vlad just looks at her with heart eyes.

Vlad is closest to Violeta Radošević, Milenko’s mother, out of his generation of cousins. 

Except for formal occasions, Louisa doesn’t wear shirts or dresses that go past her ankles. Prefers them to the calf, as she needs to be able to move freely (she moves a lot).

It’s very likely Louisa is the one with undiagnosed ADHD out of the two of them, hence where Nana gets it from. She’s never checked. 

Louisa loves dancing (so does Vlad but he hates admitting it), and she taught Anatole most of what she knew. As she grew up, she was constantly in dancing lessons, inspired by her own mother’s love of ballroom dancing. It’s one of the few things she’s fully grateful about.

This is more of a language fun fact than anything else, but Alzor and Nopali are extremely similar languages, and are almost virtually interchangeable.

They both stand by ‘one child is enough’ but end up adopting all of Anatole’s friends on accident, sometimes, even his partners a little, depending on the verse we are in.

Finally, out of the Arcana canon characters, Vlad would get along the best with Nadia, Salim and Aisha. Louisa would get along the best with Nadia, Julian and Portia.

[mysterytickingegos]

At Least We Have Us

Pairing(s): Darkiplier x Platonic!reader

Genre: Angsty with a fluffy end.

Word Count: 1,771

Summary: Strange things happened to those who didn’t leave that dreadful manor in time, and you were one of those people. Becoming something not quite human took some time to get used to, but at least you weren’t alone.

Anonymous Request: Platonic Dark with a soft Y/N that's basically very motherly of him despite being much younger? She cares a lot about him and looks up to him. Maybe she's his assistant and also experienced the events of WKM and Dark basically adopted her after that? Post-WKM please! I need Dark being a wise and over protective big brother rn Thank youuuu

Authors Note: I loved working on this one! It was a fun concept, thank you so much for the request!

Want to read more?

[Image Description: A gif of Mark from a vlog video giving a thumbs up to the camera, it has been edited to be gray with Darkipliers afterimages and colors, red and blue.]

Dark...That was such a strange name to call him, at first.

Damien had been a family friend. He was your neighbor, and your best friend’s uncle. When you were a teenager he was a respected member of the local government, a man who hid away in a study and worked far too hard. Eventually with enough pushing from Ophelia, he was your boss, having given you an internship in city hall that Elli really didn’t want. You considered him a friend. Maybe not a close friend, but he was someone you trusted and respected and he would say the same about you.

You jogged up the stairs to the office, dodging past people while muttering quick apologies to anyone who had something to say about it. When you got there, you heard the laughter of your friend through the door and cracked it open. Ophelia was desperately trying to catch her breath between giggles, of course because Damien was telling another story about your completely sophisticated soon-to-be DA. He was surprisingly relaxed, leaning back on his desk and talking with his hands quite a bit.

“But of course, that doesn’t stop them, they run down the street- Oh, Y/n please come in. You’ll want to hear this.” He gestured to the empty chair beside Elli, but when you didn’t move from the doorway, both their faces fell. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” You tilted your head at them, not realizing how you looked, pale and out of breath. “Damien, they’re done counting. You won.”

He was in shock for a few moments, only standing up a bit straighter as he processed your words. “I won? I’m...?”

“You’re going to be the Mayor.” Ophelia finished for him, just before all three of you started laughing and cheering and jumping around.

In many conversations there were moments where you would catch a glimpse of the person you used to know, and in the beginning you would get a heavy heart. You weren’t ready to let him go, to accept that he was somebody else now. Perhaps that’s because it would mean accepting you were somebody else, too.

None of the guests from that damned party left the manor the same.

You heard it so clearly, a stranger’s voice coaxing you up the stairs, quietly whispering your name over and over as you slipped away from the rowdy party. You were practically hypnotized, not thinking about who it could possibly be or their intentions as they lead you to a room that sent chills down your spine the moment you opened the door. It was a room filled with trinkets of the occult, books with terrifying symbols, and scribbles of a mad man on papers scattered all over.

“You’re not supposed to be in here.” You heard a growl from a new voice, just behind you. The person shoved you inside the room and slammed the door as you hit the ground. “In fact, I could’ve sworn this was going to be hidden from all of you.”

You stood up as quickly as you could, turning to see the host of the party scowling at you. “I wasn’t...I was just looking for Elli.” You said quickly, brushing off your clothes.

“The same Elli that told you she was going to lay down for the night a couple of hours ago?” He stepped closer, slowly, ominously.

You thought back to that conversation, spoken quietly, just the two of you on the staircase while everyone else was still playing poker. “How could you even know about that?”

Mark grinned at you, sinister and cold. He gestured around the room, to the books and trinkets. “Things aren’t as they seem here, Y/n. Ever since Celine...left me here, the things in this house had opened my mind to things I never could’ve imagined.” A short laugh bubbled out of him. “I can do anything.”

“You’ve gone mad.” You whispered, backing away. You’d heard bits and pieces of the Iplier drama from Damien, having vented his concerns to you over cups of coffee during work since the day you got your invitations. But you knew now that he had no idea.

“Perhaps they were trying to do the same for you, but I’ve come too far for some kid to screw it all up now.” He turned on his feet and left the room, shutting the door behind him. You rushed over to it, trying to twist the knob before he got a chance to lock it. But it was far too late. You banged on the door and screamed for help until your voice went hoarse, but the room had in fact been hidden away. You were surrounded by taunting spirits in a room that nobody existed, for what felt like weeks. You could feel them gnawing away at bits and pieces of you after that, an itchy feeling under your heart, changing you. Truly, time had been warped, and only one day had passed before you were found by someone who was now immune to the houses secrets and cloaks. And he didn’t say anything, but clearly something had happened to you too.

Funny thing about living forever? (Or at least as long as you have,) It’s not that great, in fact it’s actually very lonely. The world changes around you, and you don’t change that much at all. You often have to leave, not wanting the attention of being the same age after living or working somewhere for 20 or 30 years. Or you get too attached to somebody and you know you will lose them, now or later.

But you weren’t alone. Despite his anger towards Mark, how badly he wanted revenge, Dark kept very close to you. Especially after he learned what happened to his niece, he was going to keep you safe above all else. Mark learned that the hard way when he tried to silence you too, only to find an empty house and a rather cheeky note.

“Catch me if you can.”

Another funny thing, you didn’t even know the power that you had when you first wrote that. As far as you knew you were a normal girl waiting out the storm. But eventually waiting got pretty tiresome.

“How could you be so foolish?” Dark called after you as you both stormed back into the house.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that big a deal.” You huffed, tossing your jacket away.

His image faltered and glitched at what you said. “Not a big deal? You have the gift of longevity, you are NOT impervious to bullets!”

You flopped down into the armchair, crossing your arms. “We don’t know that yet.”

“You sprained your ankle tripping on air last month, I think it’s safe to say.” For a moment you could’ve sworn he smiled. If it wasn’t at your expense, you might’ve been happy. “You wonder why I hover,”

“Someone had to step in and do something.”

“Why did it have to be you?!”

“Because!” You twisted around in the chair to face him, fighting back tears. “I’m bored! I’m sick of living like a hermit! I’m tired of these stupid towns in the middle of nowhere and never having any friends...it’s been almost a century Dark, I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

He pierced his lips, having to look away from you before he got emotional himself. “So this is your plan? Play hero until you run out of luck?”

“Or we can stop hiding. We can try and live our lives, instead of just surviving. I mean, what's the point if we’re completely miserable?”

“And what about him?”

“To hell with Mark, what about you?” Your voice was softer now. “I can work, and shop and be neighborly. But you...you’ve been stuck in the shadows, holding onto your hate all this time. Maybe you don’t believe it after everything that’s happened, but you deserve better.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “What then? Where do you want to go?”

“How about we go home?”

‘Home’ was California, LA specifically. Sure, you could’ve gone back to your hometown but you were both part of a rather famous local mystery and you agreed it was for the best to stay away.

The sun had set a little bit ago and the streets were only illuminated by signs and street lights, that was the only way he’d agree to go out into the city with you, in the dark. Fair enough, he didn’t want to attract attention to himself. Luckily, you’d made some good friends in the last few months, friends like Mike.

“Ah, bonjour!” Mike greeted cheerfully as you and Dark approached the window, before ducking into his shop to get you both a bowl of ice cream. “I was wondering if you were going to show up.”

You nudged Dark over to one of the tables and leaned in the window. “I didn’t mean for it to take so long, thanks for keeping the shop open late for us.”

“Don’t mention it. I actually have a cousin with really bad anxiety, so I get it.” He passed you two bowls with a smile.

Dark squinted at you when you came back to the table. ‘Anxiety?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t have anxiety.”

“You’re right, I should’ve told him the truth. You and your sister possessed your best friend in the 1920′s to escape a place called the upside down, but sometimes you drag bits and pieces of it into the real world and that would probably scare the locals in broad daylight.” You didn’t miss a beat in your little rant, scooping some ice cream into your mouth as soon as you were done.

He chuckled and shook his head at you. “I’m supposed to be the one lecturing you on being subtle.”

“Hey, I’m the one who’s been covering for us the past 91 years. It’s your turn to follow my lead.” You said matter-of-factly, pointing your spoon at him, before you dove back into your bowl. You missed the ‘fair-enough’ nod he gave you and the pride written all over his face, another glimpse of someone you used to know. “You know, maybe you should bring you-know-who here someday.”

His eyes went wide and he shook your words off just a little too quickly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So you don’t have a thing for his new friend that you’re watching out for?”

“Stop it. Stop it right now.”

“Fine,” You put your hands up in mock surrender, “But you know I’m right.”

[kicksaddictny]

Kicksaddict Sneakerhead PROFILES Interview Series: @CakedaGawd

After a long Hiatus, we’ve returned! Our popular Profile series has been requested almost on a daily basis (Thanks for the tweets, dms and emails). We were even threatened! (Thanks by the way).

Cake The Gawd! This one was so much fun. Tap in.

Where are you from? Brooklyn, NY born in Crown Heights raised in East Flatbush.

How long have you been collecting sneakers? I was introduced to sneakers in 1991 but I started collecting for myself in 98.

What’s your favorite sneaker and why? Air Jordan 6 Infrared. It's the shoe Michael was wearing when he won his first championship, and to me just it’s just the most beautiful Jordan shoe to date! The silhouette is unmatched, it is timeless, and no matter how many times it is retroed I will buy it!

Besides your hometown, what is the best city for sneakerheads that you know of? Why? I would say LA 100% !! It is a vibe out there. I am part of a sneaker group and 75% of the people in there are from LA. They really about the culture they know their shit and they are fresh as fuck too.

Do you collect just for collecting or do you collect and rock? I collect and rock. That is why I double up on certain shoes.. Some kicks you gotta have for store and show but some you just have to rock them!

What sneaker got you into the sneaker game? I cannot pinpoint one thing, it is so many things. It was Music, my parents introducing me to Nike, my older cousin, basketball, the dope boys around the way, and my 3rd grade crush and her cousin who both had Aqua 8's. (LOL) I cannot just say 1 thing because they all had a significant part in it.

What are your thoughts on these fake celebrity sneakerheads? I hate them all! All of these dudes just get perks, some of them do not even know the shoes. That shit really gets under my skin. Showing off shoes that they get and not even knowing the name or numbers of the shoes, creating their own names. Shit is sickening. S/O to the Sneaker Gawd Wale !

How do you feel about the Off white collabs? I liked the first round of the collabs. With the Presto's, Air maxes, Blazers, and Jordan 1's. I think after that it should've been left alone. But I can respect what they are doing over there. I just won my first pair of Off-White's with the Lot 50 joint.

If you could wear only one sneaker for the rest of your life, what would it be? Air Jordan 3 Black Cement. Yes 6's are my favorite of all time but the Black Cement 3's just go with EVERYTHING!

What advice would you give as far as storing and preservation of your sneakers? Wear your kicks man. I store and rock! I get it, wanting to save shoes but putting them away and never rocking them, when you finally do ya it’s separating and crumbling. In order for your kicks to last they gotta be worn anyway. Unless you're truly just on some collecting only for show vibes.

What is the most you’ve ever spent on a pair of sneakers? $900... I was able to land Black and Red and Royal 1's from 2001 together. A friend of mine had them and said he couldn't think of anyone else. I had literally just started my new job. A chunk of my first check went to that pick up.

Have you ever waited in line for a pair of kicks? I waited in line once in my life for shoes and swore I would never do it again. It was for the 2001 True Blue 3's. I waited online at like 7 in the morning at Kings Plaza. LMAO I said this will never happen again. I didn't have the patience for it. I do not know how ppl used to do that shit or camp for kicks. I was there for 1 hour and I was like this is ridiculous.

You're also a photographer, how long have you been taking photos? I have been taking photos since 2011 but officially became a photographer in 2013.

How do sneakers play a role in your photography? That is a great question because I didn't want the 2 to mix at all. Because I'm a scenery and landscape photographer. But I got into photography because of sneakers. No offense to anyone but a bunch of these  "influencers" get on IG with their DSLR cameras, take some on foot shots and call themselves "Photographers". 90% of them do not even understand lighting. I didn't wanna be one of those guys because I actually live this and study it. But recently I just started letting it be that and owning it. I am nice with this photography shit when it comes to sneakers. I have a deep connection with shoes and I love incorporating that into my art. I thank my wife for that. I told her I don't wanna be just another sneaker photographer and she said to me who said you have to be ?! I took that and ran with it. Off-White just recently featured some of my pictures on their Instagram.

I remember you saying you're a sneaker enthusiast, what is the difference between that and a sneakerhead? An enthusiast really studies sneakers. Sneakerheads just love sneakers like it ain't really about the history and all that for them. They just love shoes because it is cool and makes them feel good. Us Enthusiasts are invested. Things matter like knowing years of a shoe. For example, an enthusiast would look at a pair of Jordan's like Taxi 12's, We know Michael wore those in the 1996 - 97 season, but we also know that Martin gave away a pair on his show for the Christmas episode to the kid who had holes in shoes. They are tied to iconic moments. A sneakerhead may love Bordeaux 7's because they are dope looking shoes. Where for me it's that Michael Jordan wore those in a video with Michael Jackson and Kris Kross in the 92 Jam video. MJ and MJ in a video with Kris Kross, do you know what that did to my childhood?! Give you one more example that is not even Michael Jordan related. Piggy backing off of Kris Kross,The Patrick Ewing’s were one of my favorite kicks growing up besides seeing Pat play in them one of my favorite Hip Hop covers of all time is "Totally Krossed Out" and Kris Kross is wearing both colorways. So you see what I mean there is so much tied to it with being an enthusiast. This is just my opinion though some may not agree so don't shoot me! (Ha)

From the time you started collecting up until now, would you say that the sneaker game changed for the best or the worst? I have been collecting for 20 plus years now. I have seen the game at it's best, I have seen it die, I have seen it revive, and now I am witnessing the death of it again. The sneaker game is disgusting right now, and I honestly do not think it will ever recover. It really saddens me. It is a popularity and money contest right now.

Does pricing affect your collection? Hell No! And I hate that some people are trying to make this the norm. IDGAF if you paid $500 - $2000 for a pair, It doesn't mean shit.  The narrative is getting outta hand.

What does the word “Hypebeast” mean to you? Hypebeast is a person that only buys shit for status and popularity. They cannot form their own opinion about shit. They have to wear and cop items based on what every celeb is wearing or whatever these Social Media "Influencers" are saying is hot! It is not only sneaker related either. N*ggaz were hypebeasting for PS5 last year..

What are your thoughts on the females in the sneaker game? They are the best! I wish we had a Sneaker union and it was only run by females! The men in this game are annoying and so over the top. It is so bad that they feel the need to compete with women. The men get shoes just to show off to one another. Like what type of shit is that? The females are cool. I had a dude on twitter tell me women don't know the value of a shoe let alone about the shoe. The men feel like they always gotta try to shit on the women. The women are just trying to be part of the culture and enjoy it. And they shouldn't have to try to be part of something that is open to anyone who is willing to be invested and understand the culture.

Any advice for a young kid coming up in the sneaker game? Wear what you like! Respect the game and the people who have been doing it before you. Because this new generation of sneakerheads are little entitled dicks. No respect whatsoever!! I don't care about Travis Scott shoes. Without Jordan being who he is Travis wouldn't have a Jordan silhouette to collaborate with! Same with Off-White. These silhouettes were here before these guys. Say know your history and pay homage!! BUT STAY humble.

See I follow you and I'm loving the way you include your daughter in your work, what does that mean to you? Man, it is beautiful!!!! Without even trying she is invested in the culture. Both photography and shoes. Myself and my wife are both heavy into photography, art, music, sneakers, and clothes. My daughter is into all the same things but we are letting it be her own experience. We are not forcing anything on her. We want her to enjoy being a child and whatever things she picks up from us along the way is just a bonus. But I love shooting her, and I love when she asks myself and her mother "do we like her fit". It is truly a blessing man!

All photos by CAKEDAGAWD

Follow : https://twitter.com/CakedaGawd 

https://www.instagram.com/whatsinthesyrup/

[royalhouseofcarrington]

Questions and Answers From Your OC!

From the perspective of your OC (if you want). Do this as many times are you would like to and answer as many as you would like!

I was tagged by the ever so lovely @officalroyalsofpierreland​ and @trentonsimblr (So sorry that I’m just now getting to this) and I’m going to tag anyone who wants to do it! 

I’m very fond of Douxie right now, and he’s still of a box full of questions, so I’ll do him! 

1) What is your favorite sport?

I’m not very much into sports actually. If I have the time, I do enjoy going down to the pool and swimming laps.

2) What is your favorite color?

To be quite honest, I’m not sure. I’m very fond of green and light blue for reasons I’m not quite sure I understand, but I do tend to wear black more than anything.

3) What is your favorite movie?

Growing up my favorite movie was The Sleeping Princess (old, but one of my mothers’s favorites) but as of right now... I’m not quite sure to be honest. I think the last movie I watched was at a premiere for work. 

4) Taken? Single?

Taken. Very much taken by Ana. You could say that I’m... taken for life? 

5) What would be your perfect day?

No work. No filming. No press events. No press tours. A breakfast at the local cafe that I’ve been dying to go to. Take Annie out. Go for a walk together. See a movie. Take her to a fancy restaurant for dinner. Grab some ice cream. Very simple, I feel.

6) Are you a night owl or an early bird?

Oh, how I would love to be a night owl. Unfortunately, my schedule at the moment doesn’t allow for me to be a night owl, so I am an early bird. 

7) Do you think you're smart?

Heavens no. I barely managed to graduate high school on time. My mothers think I am, but they’re the ones who had to watch me struggle through nearly 13 years of math class. 

10) How do you like to be comforted when you are sad?

Chocolates help. And hugs. Great big hugs never hurt. 

11) Where do you want to be in 5 years time?

Standing at the end of the aisle at the very least. At the most? I personally wouldn’t be opposed to some tiny little ones running around.  

12) Do you have any regrets?

Not meeting Annie again sooner.

13) Who are/is your best friend(s)?

My dearest friend is Cody. We’ve known each other for ages and talk quite often. Our schedules are often very contradictory so we don’t see each other face to face very often, but we have a very good time when we do.

14) What was your dream last night?

A very good one. 

15) Who in your family are you closest to?

My mothers, without question. They’ve seen me through highs and lows and I honestly don’t know what I would do without them.

16) What is one thing people don't know about you?

There’s actually a third tattoo..., it’s just hidden out of sight. It has a very important meaning to me though, which is why I got it.

17) Best present ever given to you?

I’m not sure. Annie did get me a signed copy of my favorite book last Winterfest (Watcher knows how she managed to do that, the author’s been with the Reaper for at least 30 years now), so that’s one of them I’d have to say. 

18) What is your favorite food?

Any food made by my Maman. She’s an excellent chef and anytime I’m home for dinner, is completely and utterly worth it. 

19) Earliest childhood memory?

My cousin being a complete bully to me. 

20) Do you have a crush?

I always have a crush on Annie.

21) If you could live in a different period, which one would it be?

I’m rather content in this time period. The fashion of the 17th century is nice, but I’d rather stay here. Those coats look hot. 

22) Any nicknames?

Douxie. Doux’. One of my little cousins once called me Hisi while trying to get my attention and that’s certainly a nickname I am not fond of. 

23) Introvert or Extrovert?

A combination really. Some days I’m an introvert, some days I’m an extrovert. It depends on what’s happening. 

24) Favourite book?

The End of the Beginning by Sarah Laurite. It’s my favourite book series.

25) Hobby?

Playing guitar, mostly. I haven’t been able to find the time for it, but perhaps one of these days I’ll surprise Ana with a guitar song. Perhaps. 

26) Beach or pool?

I haven’t gone to the beach in ages! I’m not a fan of sand, but I do enjoy going down to the pool when I can.

27) First kiss? 

Yes. For privacy’s sake, I won’t share who it was, but I was 12? Maybe 11? 

28) Favourite subject

Art was always my favorite subject in school. That or theatre classes when I got to high school.

29) Age

26.

30) Full name

Hisirdoux Michael Caspersen.

31) Pets?

One black cat who’s fond of roasted salmon who goes by the name of Archie.

32) Age (if they have one)?

Arch is almost 9 years old!

33) Fave song?

I don’t believe that I have one.

34) Where do you live?

Carrington. For privacy’s sake, I won’t say anything more than that.

35) What/who do you miss?

I do desperately miss my late grandmother. She passed away when I was fairly young and I would have loved the opportunity to spend more time with her. 

36) Which school(s) do/did you go to?

On set-school mostly, in conjuction with the Nimben School of the Arts in downtown Bilchester. Growing up I went to Hartford Primary before I was cast.

37) Favorite food? 

Still anything made by my Maman, but also Ana’s baked sweets.

38) Tattoo?

Yes. 3. And more planned.

39) Done anything illegal?

Heavens no.

40) Fav TV show?

CABN’s Texelin Street. Haven’t missed an episode yet.

41) Do you know any celebrities?

Yes, my girlfriend. Other than her? Also yes.

42) Dreams/wishes?

To be able to retire from acting and Simwood and not have to worry about life on set or the tabloid magazines for 5 minutes.

43) Are you very competitive?

Only when I’m pushed to be competitive.

44) Greatest gift (could be a physical gift or a spiritual gift)?

Being adopted by my mothers and being able to have such a loving family and girlfriend.

45) Greatest accomplishment?

Getting cast in my first movie, I suppose.

46) If you were stuck on a desert island, who would you be stuck with?

Can I pick two? Annie and Cody. My girlfriend and best friend and my best friend.

47) Zodiac sign

Scorpio

48) Where were you born?

My birth certificate says that I was born at the Exeter General Hospital.

49) Sexuality?

Straight. 

50) What color are your eyes?

I’ve been informed by several sources that they are green. 

51) What color is your hair?

Black.

52) Do you want/ have kids?

Yes. I would love to have several children one day, hopefully in the near future.

53) when is your birthday?

November 18th.

54) Current mood?

Relaxed. Happy. Nervous. Excited.

55) Do you send goodnight or good morning texts to people?

Depends on who it is.

56) What do you want to be when you grow up/ what is your occupation?

I’m an actor right now. In the future I want to take a step towards the director and producers chairs though.

57) How long do you sleep for?

However long my schedule will allow. 

58) How long does it take you to get up in the morning?

Usually right away, but when I have the time... 20 minutes?

59) How long does it take you to get ready?

5 minutes.

60) Meyer Briggs personality type?

ISFP

[skycollides]

Hi I love your stories you post. And I just reread a hank story of yours and It so sweet. So could you write a first date imagine with him? I also loved the one of ez and I thought one with hank would be so sweet!😍 Thanks in advance

@hoooli13 Thanks for the request. I hope you like it! 💜

First Date

Hank x Reader

Authors note: I apologize in advance for grammar mistakes

English isn’t my native language.

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

Warning: none

Words: 1.715

You met Hank through your cousin Bishop. From the first time you met him at one of the parties you were fascinated. At this point you were sure that he was the most handsome man you have ever laid your eyes on. Sadly Bishop told you that his guys were off limits. He didn’t want this life for you. He wanted you to have a man who’s not in conflict with the law all the time or in danger. Nor did he want to see you in danger. Ever since you were children Bishop wanted to protect you and this was his way of protecting you. He also told the guys you were off limits the first time you set a foot into the clubhouse. After going to the clubhouse more regularly you and Hank had gotten closer and little did El Presidente know that things always go the way he wants them to.

You are currently at work the you get a text form Hank.

Hank

Hey Y/N,

I hope you’re well. 

I’m sorry I didn’t text you 

these past couple of days

but we were on a run.

I’ll make it up to you 

if you let me.

Tonight?

Y/N

Hey Hank,

I’m good!

Are you and the guys alright?

Don’t apologize!

Bish is my cousin I know

you guys go MIA form time to time.

It’s okay. I understand.

Well you don’t have to but

I can’t say know to that.

Yes I’m actually free tonight.

Text me the details and

I’ll be there.

Hank

Yes we’re alright nothing 

happened.

I’m glad you’re so understanding.

My place 7pm.

I can’t wait to see you darling.

You can’t help but smile. Did this incredibly handsome man seriously ask you out? Like for real? You could hug the whole world right now. Happiness that what you’re feeling right now. No matter what Bishop said you won’t let it stop you from seeing him. 

After 3 more hours at work you’re finally free to go. As soon as you’re home you go straight to your wardrobe looking for something to wear for your date. After searching for a while not really knowing what to wear you come across a dress. You remember Hank telling you how beautiful you looked in  that dress so you go for it. You look for matching heels before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. Once you’re done you dry your hair, put on some make up and get dressed. You take one last look into the mirror before taking your purse and your keys leaving your house.

20 minutes later you arrive at his place. Your heart is beating really fast and you’re a little nervous.  You take on last look in the review mirror checking your makeup before getting-it heading to his front door. You know and soon after he opens the door.

’’Hey Y/N’’ he says with a huge smile on his face.

’’Hey Hank’’ you say and he pulls you into his strong arms and kisses your head. You breath in his scent and it calms your nerves a little bit. He lets go of you and says:

’’You look absolutely stunning darling. C’mon in.’’ you follow him inside and he leads you to his back yard. Once you’re there you can’t help but stare at the sight in front of you. 

A table for two. Fairy lights and a lot of candles all over the porch.

’’You hate it don’t you?’’ his voice brings you back to reality. Hank took your silence the wrong way. You turn around and look at him with a soft smile.

’’Hank Oh my god. Why would I hate it. Its absolutely amazing. I love it. No one and I mean no one has ever done nothing like this for me before. Thank you so much’’ you say. 

’’I’m happy you like it. Well looks like no one before me knew how to treat you properly.’’ he says and you reply with a short.

’’Looks like it.’’ You take a seat and Hank leaves you to get the dinner he prepared for the 2 of you. You look around still not believing that someone like Hank makes so much effort - for you. He shortly return and it smelly heavenly. he sets the plates down on the table.

’’I hope you like it. It was my grandmas recipe.’’ he says and blushes. You grab your fork and take a bite. You close your eyes and this is for sure the best piece of meat you’ve ever had in your entire life.

’’I think I’m going to kidnap you and keep you as my personal cook. Like for real. Hank this is so so good.’’ 

’’I’m glad to hear. Do you seriously think you’ll be able to kidnap me Y/N?’’ 

’’No but it sounds good’’

’’Well you wouldn’t have to kidnap me I would you with you anytime’’ he says and winks at you. You blush and look down at your plate hoping you can hide it. Little did you know it was too late for that. Hank saw it.

After the both of you finished eating Hank cleans the table. You offered to help him but the declined right away.

He returns to you with blankets and pillows. You raise your eyebrows and he walks past you and spreads one of the blankets on the lawn he nods with his head for you to come over and you do. 

’’Have a seat beautiful it’s now time for stargazing.’’ he says and you sit down. He sits down next to you and hands you a blanket with the words.

’’Incase you get cold’’ you take it thanking him.

He lays the pillows down behind the both of you and lays down looking up to the sky. You watch him for a moment before doing the exact same thing. You lay there in silence - a comfortable silence. You’re thankful Hank did all of this for you.

’’How did you know I like stargazing? I can’t remember telling you about it.’’ you ask him curiously. ’’Well Bishop told me when I asked him why he calls you his little star. So when I thought about what to do on our first date this is what came to my mind. We both aren’t the type for super fancy restaurants so I thought cooking for you and watching the stars with you would be a good idea. At least I hope you feel the same.’’ he says grabbing your hand.

’’Ah now it makes sense. You’re right I don’t need all that fancy stuff. It’s not about the amount of money you spent on me. This night couldn’t have been more perfect. No one made the effort for me before like doing something like this you know?! Usually the guys I dated before simply took me out to one of those fancy restaurants. You just thought about what would make me happy and I really appreciate it Hank. I’m so thankful to be here with you and the stuff you did for me tonight.’’ you say having tears in your eyes - happy tears.

’’I’m glad you’re happy. That’s all I wanted sweetheart. The night isn’t over yet.’’ he says before leaning into you. You move closer to him as well and shortly after your lips collide. This is the moment you have been waiting for the whole night. Hank grabs your face and pulls you closer. You move your hand to his chest resting it there. He’s the first one to pull away. The two of you stare at each other sniveling like crazy before Hank speaks up.

’’I know its early and stuff but - could you imagine being my girl?’’ he asks you and you nod.

’’Yes I actually can. I’d be honored to be yours. We just have to keep it to ourselves for a while. Until I figured out how to tell Bishop you know. You guys aren’t the only ones with rules. He also told me that you guys are off limits.’’

’’I can live with that but we shouldn’t wait too long. I don’t wanna betray him this is more than just us you know his not trusting me any more is probably the worst thing that could happen - club wise. Besides I want to show off my beautiful woman and not hide her away from the world.’’ he says. You grab his hand and stroke the back of it.

’’I agree with you babe. The next party at the clubhouse is next week as far as I remember. We should probably have it figured out by then.’’

’’Yes we should.’’

It’s starting to get colder and your freezing by now even with the blankets you’re wrapped in.

’’Hank? I’m cold’’ you say and he gets up.

’’Let’s head inside.’’ he says and you get up as well. You help him picking up the blankets and pillows before going inside. Once you’re inside he says

’’As much as I love seeing you in that dress - do you want some warmer clothes? I can’t risk my girl freezing to death.’’ he asks you and laughs.

’’Yes that would be nice.’’ he leads you to his bedroom and hands you a hoodie and sweatpants.

’’There you go’’ he says and you thank him.

’’I’ll make you tea how does that sound?’’

’’Yes please’’ he nods and leaves the room so you can get changed,

After you’re finished you go back to the living room where he is waiting for you with he promised tea. You sit down next to him and say

’’Is it bad that I don’t wanna go home tonight?’’ he looks at you and replies

’’Is it bad that I don’t want you to?’’ 

’’I guess I’ll be staying then’’ you say and smile at him before taking a sip of your tea.

The both of you just sit there talking until early in the morning. The day couldn’t have been better for you. You had a perfect date with an incredible man. You know have a boyfriend that cares for you. You also came up with a plan to drop the news on Bishop. Looks like going to the clubs house more often wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

Taglist:

@everyhowlmarksthedead

@mayans-sauce

@lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo

@spookys-girl

@queenbeered

@ocetevasgirl

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