#and by ‘writing’ i just mean the lyrics in my notes app or some notebook | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

desn2steph · 1 year

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Week 8 - items list and desc v1

List of things for design research

------ PS3 & PSVITA: My Introduction to Videogames

Videogames - they quite possibly changed the trajectory of my life. I might have become a biologist or pursued something considered 'more important,' but videogames led me down a more creative path. Is this a bad thing? No. I'm in the field of design because of videogames; they've nurtured my creative inclinations. I'm even writing this essay because of videogames.

Recently, a videogame inspired a shift in my approach to interaction design. I used to find interaction design uninspiring. However, that changed when I played 'Persona 4: Golden' and 'Persona 5.' These games made me realize that Interaction design doesn't have to be boring. Interaction design doesn't have to remain the same bleak thing over and over again. Which I find the industry right now is encouraging.

CDs: An Inspiration from Music

Music is a tremendous source of inspiration for me, serving as a driving force behind my design work. My earlier design projects were heavily influenced by music, and these CDs and vinyl records stand as symbols of my deep passion for it.

Back when I was a kid, during the days when I used to download MP3 files onto my phone, mere music wasn't enough for me. I wanted an album cover to accompany the music. If a file lacked an album cover, I would painstakingly add one using MP3 file editing software. This connection between the album cover and the music held significant importance for me. I believed that the album cover should offer a preview of what the music would sound like.

While most of my music experience nowadays revolves around MP3 players and music streaming apps, I've to buy CD’s and Vinyl because of the experience that it comes with when holding a record or a cd. It comes with posters, liner notes, lyrics and just having something solid on your hands and putting it in a record player or a CD player is an experience by itself that cant be replicated by a music streaming service. So here I have chosen to share to you my collection rather than a phone with Spotify on it

Gaming Laptop. I do everything on my gaming laptop. I Work on this gaming laptop, I game on this gaming laptop, I design on this gaming laptop and I “live” on this gaming laptop. Though it is not perfect but this gaming laptop is mine. I wish it was lighter, I wish it had better battery life, I wish, It had more storage space but this gaming laptop is mine.

This gaming laptop also represent my internet footprint and my internet identity. Im a kid that existed in video games and the internet. Unlike previous designers, if someone is a fan

Those Notebooks.

These notebooks archive some of my old drawings. Before I was really into graphic design and choosing to pursue it as my career. I was character designer by heart that means before designing posters I was designing characters, the clothes they wear, how they look like, what they are and who they are that was what I was designing. This notebook also includes the early drawing of my own personal brand called “Max Stookie”. Max Stukie is my artist’s name. the music I create, the art that I create, and the character designs are all from an artist Max Stukie. While Max Stukie and me are the same person. I keep all the professional stuff and graphic design as myself and Max Stukie represent the more creative hobbies and illustrator side of me. These notebooks also represent him.

So, yes when I was a kid around 13 years old, I was already designing.

The Holy Bible.

Though the Holy Bible had little visual influence in my design directly, I think I can easily say it has influenced the whole way I think about things overall. As a Christian this book is important to me because its what guides me in life and what to do.

Biblical stories and Catholic art have always inspired me. the holy visions and trying to achieve greatness for the glory of God is a great force that pushes me to go further and further.

When I do work, I sometimes think about my actions will this action I’m about to do glorify God? Will this work I will create show my faith in him? If no, I do my best to avoid it. There already have been instances of commissions I had to turn down because I believe it was against my principles.

============

Casio F-91W

This watch keeps me humble in a era drowned by technology. Casio helps me disconnect rather than buying a watch that is always connected I choose the humble Casio F-91W to always be by my side through work and through leisure. This watch represents my refusal to join the world that is always connected to the internet. Though I don’t hate smart watches I just feel like for me personally being 24/7 connected has already affected my life negatively, I don’t want another piece of technology that will tie me up to the internet.

Casio F-91W also represents another side of me, the side of me that misses the older world, or nostalgia. If you knew me or have seen how I have composed this poster you can tell that I still cling on to “outdated” aesthetics. Like ascii or the consolas font. Again, I believe todays trendy design is too bleak and too corporate. Nothing has a soul anymore unlike the designs of the past (or maybe this is just my nostalgia goggles glued in a bit to tight). This watch represents the joyful past, and the edgier aesthetics of y2k. everything just feels a bit too safe these days and designed to sell a product. No one is jumping across the line to achieve something cool, fun or most importantly groundbreaking. Posters that makes me go “woahhh that’s cool” are rare these days. I salute to those spacemen who pursue designs that are controversial in the eyes of mainstream.

================================================================== Printer.

my humble home printer. The printer is the designer’s best friend and worst enemy, specifically this printer though? Its only my worst enemy. If I had to print something of quality I will not use this printer, but for low quality? This printer…. Does its job. this printer most important feature to me is the scanner. The scanner works well but I hater the fact that I have to log in just to use it, yes, log in to my HP DESK JET account just to SCAN! But because this is the most easily accessible printer and the only one I have at the moment I have to make do.

I had a long relationship with printer before my UX/UI class, printers were my primary source of aesthetic. During my high school years, I would use the scanner to break an image, print it and keep scanning it till it comes out all Janky and messed up. This was where my post-digital roots started. when my design teacher Mr Kearny introduced me to post-digital my reliance to the printer doubled. I believe the printer was the portal from the digital to physical and by tampering that portal we achieve something destroyed and messed up, a bad print job is both human error and printer error. The verry essence of the post-digital aesthetic, nothing is perfect. even if you designed the perfect printer, human input will make the output possibly imperfect

======= Pen

As they say, the pen is mightier than a sword. This good ol ball point pen represents the most basic tool a designer will be using. The mighty pen. Regardless of what kind of designer you are or even what field of career you’re in the pen will be a trusty tool you will be needing.

I have used a pen for most of my designs. I plan everything on a piece of paper then draw it using an ink pen. An ink pen is permanent, forces you to be more careful and forces you to accept those mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes will be an essential part of your design, and that’s a wisdom that I believe in. even though I already own a apple pen and an Ipad the classic pen will never be outside of my toolset for creation.

The pen is a tool to create drafts, plans, stories, sketches and even a bored buster. The pen will never die the pen will live forever. I think even if technology advances to a point that having a digital table with a pen is cheap and accessible. I believe the mighty pen will be used forever.

Bass Guitar

Have I mentioned to you yet how I love music. other than visual design I also create music and I don’t create music, I design music. just like visual design, or UX/UI design, music also has to be designed, it’s an experience, it tells a story or a message. Obviously, you don’t just write music or tell a story as it is through music, no. you must pick the parts of the story that is important that you can fit into a song, what instruments and timbre does this song need? How long will it be and what will be my goal? What will be the audience reaction to this song, and how will create this song? Though these rules are arbitrary these days because really, what is music?

As I mentioned on previously, I’m very musically driven person. Sometimes I feel like I have an ability to translate music into digital design and vice versa, this is my design superpower.

I’ve chosen this bass to represent that part of me, though I have other musical instruments I could have shown you, I chosen the bass guitar because of the visuals I have attached to it. The memories and the fact it’s the first instrument I picked up.

=========

Wallet.

It’s simple really, MONEY MOVES. I’m probably more inclined to do work if you pay me a reasonable amount compared to doing something that is volunteer work. MONEY MOVES, I moved to UX/UI design because I believe I can make more money from this career.

MONEY MOVES.

IPAD

This is my iPad represent Max Stukie the character designer and illustrator part of me. this is one of my more important hobbies that I have been doing as a kid. It’s a more laid back and relaxed type of design because simply put it, its fun! This is the design I’ve been doing even before I even knew what design meant.

Max Stukie isn’t just a brand I made. Its also me, It’s the creative side of me and it’s the rebellious teenage side of me that still stuck inside. I fear the day that I have to let go of Max is the day I lose my creative youth. His creativity really pushed me to go further and explore creative areas that I have not explored. Max Stukie pushed me to find an aesthetic that I can stand on, and through this creative research that max Stukie has pushed me to do I finally understood how I want to represent my self in a the community of designers.

This is who I am, I choose these IDs to represent me. Who I am, what I stand for and what I believe in. these questions were a difficult thing for me, around 2021 I was asking this question for the first year of university as part of our concertina, because I realized I never really asked who I am. I always though “who I am is who I am|” but really it isn’t that simple. Only recently have I slowly understood myself, what I am, what I stand for and what principles I believe in. Alexander Hamilton once said, “Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything” and I believe that. I thank the people who pushed me to understand myself even more and through that understanding of self I have chosen something firm to build my house on.

Traffic Cone

The humble Traffic cone is a important figure in my history of design. at one point in time I had a weird obsession with traffic cone, first started as a gimmick in my Instagram stories and it devolved into taking as much photos of traffic cones as possible. Traffic cones represents the design principles I believe in, the ideas of grit and mess of it; The clean orderly industrial design forged in a factory, so each one is the same; the orange and Hi-Viz that demands the audience’s attention and most often the controlled chaos that it comes with it when they’re in use with a group. Most importantly the light that shines the darkness.

Coffee

The working mans drink. If music drives my creativity, then coffee drive me literally. I get migraines when I don’t drink my coffee, I don’t work as well if I don’t have my coffee. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m dependent to coffee and I will suffer without it. I need to design with coffee, and I get mental clarity and focus with it. My ideas shine and flows when I’m boosted by caffeine, but sometimes you might get ideas of a schizophrenic man.

Idea of dependency to caffeine haunts me, because in my personal principles I prefer not to be dependent on any substance, but coffee has gotten a hold of me and the society around me. Is there something wrong with it? No, I wish not to be dependent to it.

95bFM poster

95bFM has served me well allowing me to experiment my ideas with an actual outside audience watching, I’m like an intern there. 95bFM supports the ideas that I follow of a music driven station., Its not about the money (kind of) but it’s about sharing the great works of local musician and I’m all for that. This volunteer gig I’m doing with them allows me to improve and get used to an office like environment because other than doing graphic design with them. I also get to do news for them which also allows me to have a greater understanding of the world around me, because I literally have to find and read news to write about, through this greater knowledge I can extrapolate world news into my overall designs and creation.

I believe every little thing can inspire a design even world news that has nothing to do with anything design related. like a butterfly effect it can push little things in my mind and create something with it, create stories, create visuals, create chaos and deeper understanding not only with the world and the object I’m designing but also myself and how I fit in a society, a community and what I can do about it to make the world slightly a better place through my designs as well as my creations.

==================================================================

Swiss Grid

This book taught me the importance of staying in line and follow rules. The essentials of modern design all stem from following rules and understanding what is essential and what is not. This book represents my understanding of the complexity behind simplicity. Something simple isn’t just simple. Behind is rules, lines, principles, and deep thought buried in it that the audience don’t see. Though my designs don’t reflect Swiss and modern design and most of my designs are not simple either, my reliance to the rules has taught me how to break them the right way. Since I was a kid I was taught how to follow rules and even growing up as a Christian I was taught the importance behind them. The older I get the more I realize some of these rules are arbitrary and useless, rules that don’t accept progression or self-expression; rules that doesn’t even follow my beliefs, though still even with this epiphany I still understood its importance. I understand why rules has to exist and why we must follow them. A world without rules is chaos and a world full of rules is depressing. I finally learned how to follow the thin line in between both worlds of Post modernism and modernism; and I have chosen a pdf printed copy of the Swiss Grid book to represent my rebellion and my allegiance to the rules.

Phone

The phone, we can never get away from it. Its around us and we need it. Our reliance to our technology that fits in out pocket has excelled humanity to the starts, figuratively and literally. Our phone clearly has changed how we designed things. for a lot of Instagram designers, you will see a trend of having over simplified posters and large text for readability since because its target audience is on Instagram. Though print isn’t dying, pocket screens will definitely a hard competition. A device that can show any information you want through a pic of a QR code or a download that your guest can access anytime, compared to a Pamphlet that has to be printed a million copies cause bigger and more expenses. These are one of the things I though about when I decided to choose to move my degree to interaction design, I don’t think print is dying but I prefer to be in the more technological side as it seems as if this is the one that is calling me. I choose this old beat-up Alcatel phone I had to represent the humble phone, the phone that change the landscape of design drastically.

THE ARCHIVE

The archive contains all the ephemera that I find valuable. A piece of historical importance in my own history. to most people all they see is a box full of posters, doodles, sketch, notes and documentation, but to me these are all piece of a puzzle that I can combine to make something new. I have always been a creator as a kid, back when I still used to live in the Philippines, we had a backyard full of stuff and junk and I would uses those junk to make something out of it, like that one time I made a taser. Back in year 12 and 13 my go to method of creation is collage both digital and physical. I always collect ephemera with me and with those dead documents will reborn a new piece of design. this box represents a grave and I’m a mad scientist that will ‘Frankenstein’ each pieces into another living piece of design

>EYE SEE YOU

The project that cemented my interest. Before this I didn’t really have a style yet. My design identity was lost in the sea of ideas I had in mind, but this project changed that. The awareness campaign zine/poster project I did in 2022 help me understand how I want to look like within my community, these are like the clothes I wear to the club. If I describe how it would look like, I like to describe it as “digital-punk with a hint of post-digital”. This aesthetic is a mix my punk origins and digital design ideas into one thing. I choose this poster to represent it as I believe this is the project that help me understand my aesthetics.

UTorrent

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corrodedhawkins · 2 years

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I think you mentioned you were doing a piss fic for the Eddie kinks but pls don’t forget I need it

😈 trust me I could never forget it’s my jam

Piss: Part nine of the Eddie kink series. Kind of a continuation to part one

Content warnings: Graphic smut (minors DNI) language, piss kink, bladder control, desperation, wetting, slight Perv!Eddie, teasing, slight humiliation, very brief male masturbation, unprotected sex.

Authors note: I know this is not everyone’s thing, if it’s not yours please just skip this one. I don’t want to hear about how gross this is, I’m already well aware.

You’re lounging on Eddie’s bed, head pillowed on his thigh as you read the latest true crime novel he’d bought for you.

His notebook is balanced on his other leg, pencil moving furiously over the page as he writes lyrics for a new Corroded Coffin song.

He looks up, tongue peeking out as he thinks. “What rhymes with demon?”, he asks, tapping his pencil on his chin.

Saving your page in your book, you turn over to look at him. “Semen?”

“Perfect”, he mutters, writing it down.

“You’re a poet, babe”, you chuckle as you toss your book onto the bed, rising to your feet.

He grabs your arm and pulls you back down onto the bed playfully. “And where are you going?” He wraps his arms around you, pulling you back into his chest.

You slap at his arm when he squeezes you tight, trying to break from his hold. “Let me up, I gotta pee.”

“Nah.”

You laugh, “what do you mean nah? I really have to go.” Wriggling out of his hold, you roll off of the bed and get up.

He sits up and grabs your wrist, turning you towards him. “Remember the thing you told me to put a pin in?”

It takes you a second to realize what he’s talking about. The night Eddie had made you squirt, he’d made a comment about feeling like you might have to pee before it happened. He had assured you that you wouldn’t, but if you did? He might find it hot.

You remember your pussy throbbing at that, too preoccupied with the task at hand to really analyze what it had meant.

“Yeah”, you say hesitantly.

He gives you a devilish grin, “maybe we can explore that a little bit. Just—don’t go. Stay here.”

“Eddie”, you warn.

His hold on your wrist softens, “Too far?”

“I don’t—I don’t know”, you mumble.

“Hey”, he presses a kiss to the back of your hand. “Look at me, we don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable, okay?”

The thing is, you were uncomfortable.

You’ve never felt Iike this before, so turned on and grossed out at the same time, so ashamed by something getting you off. You hadn’t even done anything yet and you were already soaked, cunt throbbing at the thought of what you were about to do.

“I-I am a little uncomfortable”, you admit. “But, I’m also kinda into it.”

A wide grin spreads across his face, “yeah?”

You nod, “yeah. Can I follow your lead on this? If I think about it too much I might chicken out.”

“Of course”, Eddie pats the bed next to him, continuing once you sit down. “I got you, babe. I’ll check in but you gotta speak up and tell me if you want to stop, okay?

“Okay.”

“Alright”, he hands you your novel, “get back to reading.”

He picks up his notebook and resumes writing, lyrics and chord progressions scribbled along the page.

You make it another few chapters before you’re starting to squirm, no longer able to ignore the pressure in your bladder.

“Doing ok?”, Eddie asks, not looking up from his notes.

You whimper, “Yeah. It’s just—fuck. I need to piss.”

He puts down his notebook and looks over at you, the hunger in his eyes surprising you.

“Is that so?”, he asks teasingly.

“Yes”, you hiss.

Eddie chuckles, “Now for some ambience.” He grabs your phone, opening your sleep sounds app. He scrolls past your usual rain sounds and taps ‘waterfall’.

He smirks as the sound of rushing water fills the room. You laugh, the sound cut off by a gasp when you feel yourself almost lose control for a second.

You throw your book at him with a glare, prompting him to shut off the waterfall and toss your phone to the side.

“Hi”, Eddie says as he turns his attention back to you.

“Hi”, you say softly.

“Doing ok?”, he asks.

He leans in and captures your lips when you nod, the kiss starting soft and gentle.

You start to squirm, the urge to grab your crotch to hold it in growing too strong to deny.

Eddie grabs your hand when you try to press it against yourself, holding it down against the mattress as he smirks against your lips.

His other hand hovers over the button on your jeans, waiting for your nod before shoving them down your legs and onto the floor along with your panties.

You suck in a breath, muscles clenching as the cold air hits your heated core.

He runs his fingertips over your slit teasingly, chuckling when you buck into his touch. “You are soaked. You really do like this, don’t you?”, he marvels.

You nod, a whimper escaping you as he thumbs over your clit.

“I’m going to fuck you”, he says, voice low and deep. “And you’re going to hold it until you cum. Do you understand?”

“Yes”, you whine, hips twitching up into his touch.

Eddie shoves the front of his sweatpants down, his cock springing free to slap against his stomach. He pumps his hand over himself a few times before he shuffles closer and sinks into you.

He sits back on his heels, rocking into you slow and deep. It feels incredible, the pressure in your bladder making every brush of his cock on your g-spot send jolts of pleasure through you.

You wail when Eddie presses his hand into your bladder, a wave of desperation rushing over you.

"Hold it", he bites out, snapping his hips into you harder.

"I can't", you're thrashing around, trying to get away.

He brings two fingers down to circle your clit, “you can. Cum, then you can let go.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself to hold it in until you cum.

His hips shift, hitting your g-spot perfectly with every thrust.

“C’mon, I know you’re close”, he pants as he feels you start to clench around him. “Cum for me.”

You do as you’re told, toppling over the edge as pleasure floods your senses.

“There you go. You can let go now baby. Let go”, he encourages.

You don’t even realize you’re pissing until you feel the warmth of it under you, tears leaking from the corners of your eyes at the relief.

The second Eddie feels the first gush of warmth against him he cums, hips grinding deep as he empties himself inside of you.

You’re both panting, stream tapering off and stopping as you come down and catch your breath.

He reaches up to wipe away your tears, smoothing your hair away from your face. “You ok?”

You take a deep breath, “yeah, just—shower please?”

He laughs, getting up and tugging you with him down the hallway towards the bathroom.

That night, Eddie’s sheets are changed for the first time since you’ve known him.

Tag list:

@ghastlyentity @sweetpeapod @e0509 @simpingoverfictionalppl @quinnswife86 @munsonquinns @thorfemmes @khaleesibubblegum @manddoublee @mcplestreet @lizziesfirstwife @kellynickelsgirl00 @wroteclassicaly @msmimiandrew @emokid-ellie @stardust-galaxies @escapingthereality @marsbar127xx @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @dickchomper @xcarabear @just-absolutely-feral @hellfirebabes @ely-seum @fireflyislands @anaisweird @suhsouza @stardustmunson

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #tw: piss #eddie kink series #melissa writes

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screadingchallenge · 2 years

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Behind the Keyboard-Volume 11

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

Remember, this year’s Reading Challenge begins July 15, so polish up those MFL lists.

Let’s meet our next author:

@likerealpeopledo-on-ao3 / Likerealpeopledo

How many fics have you written?

49 that are posted on Ao3 but I was writing fics before I knew what they were, so conservatively, probably closer to 200 or 300.

When did you publish your first fic on AO3?

July 13, 2014 in another fandom.

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3.

My writing process involves a lot of wailing, crying, and gnashing of teeth. But amongst that, once I have the premise, I usually start by deciding what my fic is really about. Not just plot (which is almost secondary) but what my theme is or what idea I’m trying to get across about the characters. I try to figure out POV, time period, canon vs AU, so I know what my foundation is. I brainstorm with my friends and betas as much as I can. Once I have all that in place, I make a playlist with songs/lyrics relating to my plot and theme. I listen to it while I’m driving mostly, because that is where I get a lot of my ideas.

My favorite stage of preparing to write a fic is research. If the fic is something simple, like about how Patrick came to own his mustard sweater (seriously, where did he get that and why; please see my first SC fic for reference), I’ll watch the episode or read the script for a refresher. Or at least the piece that is pertinent to my fic. I rewatch episodes less now because I feel like I have the voice down but if I’m struggling to get something going, I will always go back to the source material.

If I’m writing a fic that is more complex (like about kidney donation or chronic pain), I watch documentaries, I read books, articles, wiki-everything. If I’m writing an enemies-to-lovers (current WIP), I try to read or watch things that have similar themes or tropes. Not to steal from them, but to see what I can subvert. I have this fic-writing idiosyncrasy where I like to feel like I’m doing something new, which I know is madness because I’m using someone else’s characters and there are like, four kinds of stories in the world, but. Alas.

I write notes for every thought I have about the fic into my Notes app or a notebook. I sometimes outline, especially if it’s long, but usually I don’t outline until I have some ideas of scenes on paper. It’s a reverse outline, I guess, so I can see how I want to string things together.

If it’s a long fic, I do not write in order. It is my greatest strength and my biggest weakness I think. I write what excites me, what stands out in my head, snippets of conversations that I can cobble together to make a cohesive thing. It means that by the time I get toward the end of a draft, I’m left with the parts I think are boring, like exposition or transitions, and I spend a lot of time arranging and rearranging. Again, this has its advantages and disadvantages. With shorter pieces, I will sometimes write in order but even within scenes, I tend to write dialogue first and then flesh everything else out around it.

Sweet baby cheeses, my process is long and I’m not even done.

I usually write best in the morning. I do better without distractions but I can write anywhere. I write longhand when I get stuck. I try to write a little bit every day but honestly, I write the most when I feel like I have something to say. Those are the times when paragraphs sort of pop into my head, or I can visualize an entire scene. (If I feel like I can’t hear what the characters are saying, I close my eyes. This leads to some impromptu writing naps.) Some days I’ll write 5000 words and others it will be 50. After nine p.m., I hate everything.

Once I have the first draft done (as if that is a swift process), I send it to my betas. I have two. One of my betas likes to see a whole draft before she makes suggestions and one will beta in pieces. (As I’m writing my first draft, I am constantly harassing both betas and sending them snippets. If I get stuck, I’ll turn to discord or my betas for brainstorming.) Once the first draft is betaed by both, I’ll put together my second draft (this is hilarious because the way I edit, I feel like the second draft I send to beta is realistically the 39th draft, but) and send it in chapters. That way they can make final edits and tweaks and I can begin to post. With a long fic, I like to be a few chapters ahead in edits before I post. With a short fic, I will send it to beta once, but not necessarily a second time, depending on how clear I was in my own head about what worked and what didn’t. Sometimes I’ll just resend a section if I had to make big changes or if it’s a new piece I added.

If I tell you about the nerves and insecurity I feel when posting, we will be here until the end of days, so just know, pushing send is a fraught thing lol.

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

My most recent fic was Such Great Heights, which I called AirPat. It took me a long time to write it (almost two years) and I kept writing other things because I felt stuck. I’m not great at loving my writing, but I think that with AirPat, I really leaned into the banter and the humor, and I love that they were both all in from the beginning. I also loved that I was able to show a more complicated, complex side of the Brewers while still keeping them who they are, and write an original character in Patrick’s cousin, Sam. I love exploring Patrick’s psyche and I think I did a good job of making it make sense for him and his situation. It was a fight in my own head, let me tell you. I am also very proud of the wedding crash and if you haven’t read it yet, that chapter is worth the price of admission.

I always think I could have done better, but I don’t know that there is anything I would change at this point. I have probably already changed it, ha. I am not precious about words or scenes, usually, and have a tendency to edit pretty mercilessly. I will kill a lot of darlings in service of a story, and in AirPat, I took out a whole chapter midway through edits because I felt like the story was getting bloated. I felt so much better afterward. I am always wishing I had chosen better words or a new way to say someone smiled, but it’s nitpicky stuff, not structural.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

Write what you want to read and don’t worry about what other people will think. Writing is supposed to be fun (I have to repeat this to myself often) and there is always someone out there who will identify with what you have to say. I would also recommend having a beta, because there is nothing like immediate feedback and someone who can help you make the best story you can, because no one can do this alone. Paid writers have editors so why shouldn’t we? Also, if your writing is true to the character, you can’t go wrong.

How much of yourself do you put into your stories or characters?

Ugh, too much. I am writing David and Patrick, who have been invented by someone else and who are mostly fully formed already, but I steal liberally from my own life. Patrick, especially, is a blank slate I draw on with my own experiences. David is my more judgemental side. I think we all develop head canons based on our own experiences a bit, and sometimes that closeness helps, but sometimes it can hurt.

What parts of writing are easy for you? What parts are hard?

Dialogue is easiest for me. I think I had a lot of conversations with myself as a kid and that just carries on now. I think understanding emotionality and how we behave because of that is also a strength for me. I have always been good at balancing humor with tough things, and I credit my family and unfortunate Catholic upbringing for that, I guess. Putting myself out there is hard. Not getting engagement is hard. On a writing level, exposition is boring to me so it’s difficult. Also hard (pun intended), writing sex scenes. Bless the fade to black. I like writing kissing though.

What’s a fic (by any author) you love that you don’t think enough people know about?

Ack! It’s hard to know what people know and don’t know, but I’d say that if you haven’t read The Sidelines by wildhoneypie, or anything written by sullymygoodname or Nilolay, you’re missing out.

Tell me about a story that you wish you could write but that you’re not quite ready to tackle.

I am always envious of people with 1100 WIPs because I barely have one idea at a time. I do have a few things I’ve considered but never dove into, and usually it’s because I think it’s going to be too complicated for my little brain. I have always wanted to write Patrick as a robot, which involves maybe more science-fiction elements than I’m entirely comfortable with and a ton of research. I have also always wanted to write a military AU (a lot of research required) but theme-wise I don’t know if it would fit in the SC world.

What’s one question you would like to ask Dan Levy about writing?

How do you make sure you keep enjoying it? Also, are you hiring?

#behind the keyboard #meet the authors #sc reading challenge #sc fic reading challenge #sc fanfic #schitt’s creek #schitts creek

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getitinbusan · 4 years

Text

The Music Room -

Min Yoongi 18+ Smut

Part of the Lost Boys Series

JIN • NAMJOON • YOONGI •

Warnings: 18+ smut, MF sex, MF oral, A playful bite, Swearing.

Words: 3075

Summary: A stand alone series about a misfit friend group of seven boys. These stories are a day in the life snip it of who they are, where they came from and how they love.

The melody drifting up the barren hall floated through the air like it was made for your ears alone.

The poetic rhythm of the keys made you pause, listening enviously at the talent of whomever was playing.

But who was playing? It was 8 am on a Friday, the room should be vacant. Pulling up the music rooms schedule on your phone, you weren't wrong. The first spot of the day was yours for the entire semester.

You knocked lightly. The sound stopped and the bench made it's familiar dragging noise across the concrete floor.

Pulling the heavy windowless wood open by it's cold handle you peeked inside. He scrambled, seemingly embarrassed, shoving his sheet music into his backpack.

"You should be more careful with your notes, don't want to ruin any masterpieces."

"No fear in that," he mumbled. "They're just a bunch of scribbled ideas."

Pulling the zipper shut he slung it over his shoulder. "Sorry, I didn't know this was your time slot."

"It's fine." you tried to smile at him but he kept his eyes down.

"Don't you have the schools app? I can check to see when you're supposed to be here." You tapped the widget, "What's your name?"

"It's fine, I'm actually not on the schedule."

"Oh, why not? You sounded great. If you missed the cutoff you can still be added to a wait list. People drop out all the time."

He looked up and grinned. By God if he wasn't the most beautiful boy you'd ever seen.

"I don't belong here."

"Don't say that. I was listening and you're really talented, you deserve to be here just as much as any of us."

"I don't though." His eyes met yours and you were done for. "I don't go here, I'm not a student."

"Ahh, I guess that's a problem."

"I already said I'm sorry," he got defensive. "I'll just get out of your way."

He started towards the door.

You tugged his backpack. "So is breaking into schools and playing piano a weird hobby of yours?"

You tried to lighten the mood, "you've got a little Phantom of the Opera University edition kink?"

He laughed. "I'm not technically breaking in, I do have a key fob." He held up the school ID. "It's my roommates. And if you want to know about my kinks you're gonna have to get to know me a little better."

You stepped closer and took it from his hand.

"Park Jimin, Performing Arts." Handing it back you eyed him up and down. "So what's your story….."

"My name's Yoongi."

Pulling a chair out from the corner you sat and rummaged through your backpack until you pulled out your breakfast.

"Listen Yoongi, I was just going to sit here. I need logged practice time for course credit."

You peeled your clementine, "So if you want to stay and play, be my guest."

He looked at you unsure, "Why would you do that for me?"

You smiled and shrugged. "I like your face."

Turning red he plopped his knapsack back onto the floor and reclaimed the bench.

You waited until his fingers were just about to land on the keys. "I do have one condition though."

He froze, "Yeah, what's that?"

"You have to take me for coffee later and tell me your story. Agree?"

"I Agree. But you didn't have to give up your time for that, I was going to ask you out anyway."

You probably wouldn't have given up your time but you were intrigued. Park Jimin was an amazing dancer. The curious boy who was here on scholarship was often the subject of conversation in the dining hall. Not only was he good looking but he was a mystery. He hung out with the strangest group of friends, seven misfit boys who were proud to not fit in. In this small University town they stood out as odd, everyone referred to them as The Lost Boys. Yoongi, now being revealed to you as one of them, seemed harmless enough and the opportunity to get to know a piece of them was too good to pass.

Walking and talking up the worn concrete path you made your way through the bustle of pajama clad students trying to get to class.

"Don't you have to be somewhere?"

"Yeah, but I don't care. I'd rather get to know you."

"You should go, I'm not so important that you should lose a day of school over me."

"It's all bullshit anyway Yoongi, it's not going to get me anywhere."

He stopped abruptly, now just outside the small coffee shop. "You sound like a spoiled brat."

You were shocked, who the hell was he to speak to you like that?

"I'd kill to be in your position and you don't even give a shit about just squandering it away."

He pulled the door open and looked at you crossly. "Still want that coffee?"

You stepped in front of him and shot him a dirty look. "I do. You owe me AND because I'm a brat I'm going to order the fanciest thing on the menu. TO GO!"

He silently walked behind you, following to the counter while you placed your ostentatious order. You stood studying him while he asked for an iced Americano. His blond shaggy hair skimmed his chocolate eyes and his sexy lips seemed to always sit in permanent pout. They looked like they'd be nice to kiss.

"You want to stop staring at me and take your expensive drink. You're holding up the line."

You blushed, knocked from your daydream admiration by his deep voice.

You huffed while pulling the chair out, making a show of your annoyance, situating yourself at the corner table.

"I thought you were getting it to go?" he barbed.

"Why would I do that when I can be a pain in your ass a little bit longer? You promised to tell me your story, let's hear it?"

His inhale was deep. Anxiety? Apprehension? A mix of both? His eyes stared at his coffee while his fingers fiddled with the straw. "I want to be a musician."

"Well I figured that much."

"Listen, if you really want to know can you just shut up? This isn't an easy thing for me to talk about, I don't just tell everyone."

"If you don't want to tell me don't"

He cut you off. "But I do want to, for some stupid reason."

"What reason?"

He exhaled with a smirk. "I like your face."

You smiled, "Then please continue."

"I want to be a musician. I write music and lyrics and it's all I've ever wanted my entire life."

He took a sip of coffee. "My parents didn't approve of my choices so I decided to move out on my own and live my life how I wanted."

You nodded in understanding.

"I didn't take into consideration how hard exactly that would be, but I'm a proud man, and there's no going back."

"So what do you do? You're not a student, do you work?"

"Yeah, I deliver food and groceries part time. It doesn't pay much but the basics are covered."

You looked down at your shitty expensive coffee in guilt, maybe you were just a spoiled brat.

"So whenever I'm not working I try to get as much practice and writing in as I can. I use Jimin's fob to get into the music room and that's where I am most nights...all night." he shrugged in omission.

"So no time for a girlfriend?" you felt silly the moment it left your lips.

"I didn't think so." He looked up for the first time since the conversation started. "But," he smiled, "I think given the right person priorities could definitely be changed."

Talking into the afternoon time flew away. Several less expensive coffees later he looked at his phone and frowned. "I've got to go to work."

He stood up and gathered his things. "But I'd love it if we could see each other again."

You stood to go too. "Next Friday 8am? I can let you in with my fob?"

"That sounds really nice." His hand reached out and his fingers brushed across yours as he took the tray from you. "But I was hoping I wouldn't have to wait that long. We're having a party tonight at our place...will you come?"

You sat on the edge of the sofa watching the group around you getting drunk and philosophical. Definitely nothing like a frat party, these guys were a different breed.

His roommates were all handsome in their own way and something about them just set you at ease. No pretensions, no apologies, they were just who they were having fun.

Finally seeing him walk through the door your heart raced when his eye caught yours.

"I'm sorry I'm late, they kept getting orders."

"It's okay. Your roommate..." you pointed to Seokjin. "The one with the really broad shoulders, he kept me entertained with some pretty good jokes."

He scrunched his nose, "really, really sorry."

You pulled a bottle vodka out of your purse and raised your brows. "Are you ready for some fun."

He grabbed your hand and pulled you up from the couch until you were close enough to hear without having to shout.

"I'd like to grab a shower. Do you want to wait in my room for me? I mean...if you're uncomfortable down here by yourself."

It was a no brainer, the sexual tension and chemistry you'd had all day was like a current of electricity running between you.

"Lead the way."

You looked around his room while he was showering. Sure the mattress was on the floor but the bed was made and his clothes were hung neatly in the closet. His dresser was stacked with notebooks that were overflowing with lyrics. Pieces of paper with doodles and random words loosely spilling from between the pages.

Pictures, they must be family, small resemblances in their smiles and it looked like he had a brother.

He had a shelf full of colognes. Picking up the Paco Rabanne he walked in as you were pulling the cap off to sniff it.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to be nosey, I just wanted to know what you smelled like." Idiot, of all the creepy things to say.

He smiled, "It's alright, I'm not hiding anything."

"No," your cheeks flushed when it finally registered that he was half naked in front of you. "I guess you really aren't."

"Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just forgot to grab my clean clothes before I went in." He opened a drawer to pull out a shirt.

"It doesn't," you blurted embarrassed.

He pulled his hand away from the clothing and raised his brows quizzically, "So you don't want me to get dressed?"

You walked towards him, he was gorgeous. Water droplets still clung to his muscular chest like he couldn't afford the time away from you to fully dry himself.

"I think," you stammered, "That I'd actually prefer if you didn't."

You placed your hand on his bicep and waited for his response.

It didn't come from words, it came from two soft warm lips attaching themselves to yours.

"You're a good good kisser Min Yoongi. Is your mouth that good at everything?"

"You mean like singing?" He teased your lips with his while he popped the button on your jeans.

"No," you giggled.

"Then you must mean biting?" His teeth lightly bit the flesh of your thigh as he kneeled to lower your pants and underwear.

"Nope, that's not what I meant either."

"Oh, I know, you must mean eating?" His warm tongue found your clit and gave it a little flick. "I think I'm pretty good at it."

You ran your fingers through his hair while he looked up at you hungry.

"Prove it," you moaned."

Stepping out of your pants you leaned back against his dresser. Ass resting on the edge he opened your thighs, a low mumble of, "fuck" drifting out of his mouth before he dove in.

His large hands held you open while his silky tongue explored every crevice of your sex sending your senses into a frenzy. Coming up for air every so often he'd moan at the loss of your taste before inhaling and going back in for more. He wasn't methodical, his mouth was unpredictable. One minute his tongue would be deep inside you and the next he'd have his lips around your clit sucking softly.

"Come over here with me."

He led you to the bed, taking off your shirt before guiding you down. Your eyes ran over his body stopping at the bulge under the tightly wrapped terry cloth towel. The wetness in between your legs grew just thinking about getting to see it.

He laid down beside you, holding your face and kissing you while you reached to undo his shroud.

Smiling, he pulled your hand away, "I'm not done with you yet. Tell me what you want me to do to you."

You had to rub your legs together for friction, he was driving you wild. "This morning, when I watched you playing?"

He smiled like he knew.

"All I could think of was how sexy your..." He stopped your words by hooking two fingers into your mouth and rubbing them against your tongue.

"You were thinking about how good these would feel inside you?" He kissed your neck, "You really know what you want huh?"

"Some people even say I'm spoiled."

"Do you always get your way?"

He plunged them inside of you changing your words of, "I hope so," into a long drawn out moan.

Kissing his way down your neck and over your collar bones his mouth lingered on your breasts. Skimming his lips across your nipples he watched as they hardened into excited little buds. A small smile graced his face, he was clearly proud of how he was making your body react.

His long piano fingers played skillfully inside of you while he latched onto your nipple and suckled. Your heart beat loudly like it was part of the parties soundtrack, the music reverberating through the floor as he fingered you. The whole unfolding scene felt like a dream. Dizzy and intoxicated from lust and heavy breathing you didn't want to wake up to a reality other than this one.

A thud outside the door snapped you back, your thighs clamping shut on his hand as you pulled the covers up to hide yourself.

"It's locked, nobody can get in, don't worry." He pulled the sheet back off of you to continue his work.

"Are you sure they can't get in?"

A loud moan rang through the hall and the thuds against the wall gave away the truth.

"I'm sure they have their own agenda."

You flopped back trying to regain the moment while his fingers stroked your walls.

It was distracting at first, people fucking right outside his door. But a few minutes of listening to their pleasure, of hearing their moans and the pleas of harder, you were more turned on than ever.

He watched you unravelling at the pornographic sounds. "You wanna cum when they do?"

"Please..please," you begged in time with the drag of his fingers.

The sounds escalating on both sides of the wall seemed to add fuel to the fires of both immanent orgasms. Just as the stranger in the hall screamed her end, Yoongi pumped and sucked harder until you finished longer and louder than your unknown counterpart. He laughed as he pulled his fingers out of you, the strings of excitement cleaned off with a lurid suck of his own digits.

Your head was still reeling when he pulled his towel off. His thick beautiful cock looked so hard and ripe as he reached in his drawer for a condom.

"Can I put it on you?" You took it from his hand and ripped the package open. Holding it between your fingertips you got closer and ran your tongue around the head of his cock. The taste of pre cum on his freshly washed dick made you ready for more.

Giving him a few deep sucks and pumps you needed him now. He watched while you rolled the thin latex tightly over his twitching thickness and straddled him, wasting no time to begin bouncing on his cock.

Your kisses were messy, hands entwined in his hair, your breasts grazing against his skin with every thrust while you rode him. "Fuck, you feel so good."

His hands gripped your ass squeezing as he moaned underneath you. Orgasm building like a hurricane, the eye of the perfect storm became more imminent with every slide of your pleasure point against his soaked pubic trail.

"Make me cum Yoongi."

He flipped you swiftly onto your back and his hips picked up the pace to the finish line. Thrusting in between your open thighs his cock drove you to convulsively cum, your cunt squeezing his own warm liquid into the condom between you.

He lay with his arms around you in silence. Your head on his chest listening to his heart slowly make it's way back to a normal pace.

"I can't promise you anything more than who I am. I don't have anything to offer you but dreams that may or may not come true."

He stroked your hair as he spoke his truth. "I'm working hard, but I can't guarantee that I'll ever amount to anything more than a delivery boy."

You sat up on your elbow and stared at the man you'd just fallen in love with. "I want to share all of my time with you Yoongi. In fact, I insist you take it. I've heard you play and I believe in you."

You waited until your lips were just about to land on his. "I do have one condition though."

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, "Yeah, what's that?"

"You've got to promise you'll write me a song. Agree?"

His fingers splayed caressing your back, he couldn't help the huge smile that took over his face when he kissed you.

"I agree. But you didn't have to give up your time for that, I was going to do it anyway."

#Yoongi #Yoongi smut #bts smut #bts #min yoongi #lost boys series #Happy Birthday Yoongi #suga day

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luke-patterson-owns-my-soul · 4 years

Text

Unsaid Emily

Title: Unsaid Emily - Charlie x Reader

Words: 4,698

Summary: Y/N is one of the songwriters working on Julie and the Phantoms and cowrote Unsaid Emily. When she has to work with Charlie, sparks fly.

Requested: Only by my idiot brain

TW: None

Author’s notes: I mean no offence to the writers of Unsaid Emily, but I needed it to be this way. Also, I know Charlie just got his car, but it fit my timeline. I hope you like it.

Credit: @nikascott

Receiving the call from Netflix to write a song for a kids’ TV show about a ghost band, you were hesitant, but your friend Dan talked you into it. You had written as a duo before – you wrote lyrics while he conjured up what you personally considered the most beautiful melodies – but this job was just for you.

The brief you’d been given by the show runners didn’t give much away. A song for a runaway son to perform for his estranged mother after his death. The only other information given was that his mother’s name is Emily. Usually, you like vague briefs such as this, but without knowing more, you struggle.

After speaking to one of the showrunners, you’re invited to meet the writers for more information, so you drive down to where the legendary Kenny Ortega is putting the cast through their paces at a band bootcamp. You’ve worked with Kenny before, so when you arrive, he welcomes you with a smile and a hug before the two of you disappear to discuss the song you’re struggling with.

“Why don’t I introduce you to Charlie who’s playing Luke. He’s had intensive discussions with the writers and myself about his character and may have some insight on what kind of things Luke would want to say to his mom.” Kenny suggests rather than only speaking to the writers.

“That would be great, but only if you can spare him for a few minutes.”

“It’s not a problem. Hey, come and grab some lunch with me, I’ll introduce you, and then you can get the information you need.” You loved Kenny and wanted to write the best possible song for his show you could. Standing, you grab your bag before following him out and over to catering.

As soon as Kenny enters the large room, he’s called out to and waved at. With a wide smile, he responds to everyone as the two of you grab some food and sit at an empty table. While you eat, you discuss the show, and Kenny’s hopes for it.

“It may be aimed at a younger demographic, but I want it to appeal to all ages.” He stated as you’re joined by a group of kids so good looking, they can only be the cast. “Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s one of the songwriters we’ve commissioned. Charlie, once you’ve finished up with lunch, could you spare her ten minutes to chat with her about Luke?” The cast members all say hi before returning to their food. It’s clear to you they’re all creating friendships as they laugh together. But Charlie isn’t getting involved as he looks at you. You can’t help but stare at the actor as his hazel eyes lock onto yours, a small smile on his face as he nods.

“Sure, no problem.” He smiles wider and you almost choke on your food. Kenny looks over at you, a strange smile on his face.

:: ::

“Hi, you needed to talk to me?” Charlie moves along the table once everyone has left to get back to work. You look over at him, noticing how young he looks. From what Kenny’s told you about the cast, you’re not much older than him, but with his short hair and boyish smile, he looks a lot younger than he is.

“Hey, yeah. I just want some insight into the character of Luke.”

“Which song are you writing?” He asks, genuinely interested. He leans his chin on his hand waiting for you to answer.

“The one he writes for his mom after he runs away.”

“Oh, wow. Tough break.” You can’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, I guess.”

You pull a notebook out of you bag and open it to a page where you’d scribbled some questions about the character.

For half an hour, the two of you sit, chatting about the show, about Charlie’s character, and by the time you finish up, you’re pretty satisfied that you can head home and make the song work. After thanking Charlie for his time, you pack your notebook away, ready to go out to your car and drive home.

“Do you fancy coming and watching a rehearsal before you leave?” He asks, rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand. You really shouldn’t, you need to get back home to start working, but you’re intrigued by him. Throughout your talk, you were impressed with the passion he has for both music and acting, but more than anything, the character he’s going to be portraying.

“Sure, but I can’t stay long. I have a song to write for you.” You grin as you follow him out of catering and into the rehearsal space. Immediately, Kenny calls you over where he’s sat with the young girl playing the lead role. She’s listening to a piece of music you don’t recognize.

“All good?” He asks when you join him.

“Great. I should be able to get a rough cut over to you by the end of the week. Is that okay?”

“Fabulous, I look forward to hearing what you come up with. Ready to see these amazing kids rock out before you go?”

“Am I ever.”

“Guys, let’s run through Now or Never.” Kenny calls out. Charlie and his bandmates grab their instruments while the young girl you now know as Madison turns the music off and leaves the stage area.

As the three guys rock out, you can’t help but watch Charlie. He’s a natural lead singer who commands the stage, even in rehearsal, and you know his fanbase is going to explode once the show airs. You take note of his singing range, mentally adding it to the notes you made earlier.

“Kenny, you’re onto a winner with this show,” you tell the director as the song ends. “I’m gonna head out and get started. I’ll let you know once we have something for you.”

Kenny hugs you before turning his attention back to the actors and starts directing them to lead into another track as you exit the room. As you reach your car, you hear footsteps behind you.

“Y/N, are you leaving?” You turn to see Charlie standing behind you.

“I have a song to write, the final one y’all need if I might add.” You smile at him, pulling your keys out of your bag.

“I can’t wait to hear it.”

“Well, I better make it a great track then, huh?” Your words made Charlie grin widely again and you couldn’t help but think how beautiful it was.

“You’re the only one to ask about the characters, so I have no doubt it’ll be amazing.”

His words didn’t surprise you. You were a bit of a method songwriter, needing to get into the correct headspace when writing emotional songs.

“Let’s hope I don’t disappoint.” You bit at your lip as the ever-familiar seed of doubt began to grow in your mind. It happened every time, but you always managed to ignore it.

“I’m sure you won’t. Hey, I was wondering if you’d let me hear it before you send it to Kenny.” That did surprise you. You’d been hired by Netflix, yet the lead actor was asking you to share something with him first.

“Er… I’m not sure if I’m allowed. I mean, what if they don’t like it and don’t use it?”

“Oh, right. Okay. Anyway, it was nice to meet you.” He held out his hand for you to shake. When your hand was in his, he lifted it and placed a soft kiss against your knuckles. A flicker of heat shot up your arm and your eyes shot to lock onto his. Judging by how wide they were, he’d felt it too. Eventually, you withdrew your hand from his, even though you didn’t particularly want to.

“You too. Good luck with the show.” Unlocking your car, you climbed in, and started the engine. With one last look at Charlie as you pulled the door closed, you forced yourself to pull out of the parking lot and drive away.

:: ::

|@charles_gillespie started following you

You stared at the notification on your Instagram account. It had been two days since your trip to meet up with Kenny and the cast – well, Charlie in particular – and you’d been working hard on the song. Intrigued, you clicked onto his profile and scrolled through his photos. He clearly loved the outdoors and spent a lot of time hiking or camping. You can’t help but smile when you see photos of him with his family and friends.

You follow him back and put your phone down to pick your guitar back up to continue working.

|@charles_Gillespie sent you a message

Hey

The app indicated Charlie was typing, then he wasn’t, then typing again, but no message came through. Shrugging, you put your phone back down and continued working. You had a title, a melody, and had almost finished the lyrics. It was full of emotion and if asked, you’d totally admit you had cried more than once while writing it.

How’s the song coming? Another message from Charlie. It made you smile, but you needed to finish working. You turned your phone off and focused.

Finally, the song was finished. All you needed to do was to record a rough cut to send over to Kenny and the writer so they could see if it needed any amendments before sending over the final version along with the chords and lyrics. You head into the tiny studio you have set up in your apartment and record the song. It takes three takes for you to get through it without crying, but once you do, you send it straight over and stop working for the night.

Turning your phone back on, it buzzes insanely with a slew of notifications. Friends checking up on you, your parents inviting you to dinner, an email from Kenny telling you they love the rough cut and asking you to send a cleaner copy tomorrow, and a couple of messages from Charlie on Instagram. Now you’re able to respond properly, you open the app.

Sorry if I’m disturbing you.

I hope the song’s going well.

Hey, sorry. I turned my phone off while I was finishing up. Kenny has the rough cut, so I’m about to chill out and watch a movie. Hope all is well at bootcamp.

You worry the message you reply with is overly formal, but it’s too late as it’s showing as being seen. You busy yourself making some food and picking out a movie to watch. Settling on your couch to watch the first To All the Boys movie, your phone begins to buzz.

Charlie 👅🍀

Instagram video

With a slightly trembling finger, you accept the call and soon Charlie’s face fills half of your screen.

“Hey, Y/N.” he smiles brightly at you.

“Hey.” You’re a little confused about why he’s calling you, but you decide to go with it.

“Kenny played me the rough cut of Unsaid Emily. I just wanted to tell you it’s beautiful and I can’t wait to sing it.”

“Thanks, I’m glad everyone seems to like it.”

“Y/N, we didn’t just like it, we all loved it. So many people were crying when they heard it.”

“I would apologize, but my mom taught me not to tell lies.” His laugh burst out of the speaker on your phone.

“Don’t, it’s great. It’s gonna be a great addition to the show.”

You grab the remote for the TV to turn the volume down as the film you’d picked to watch was starting.

“Hey, what movie are you watching?” he asks when you apologize for the interruption.

“Oh, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.” You can’t help but notice he scrunches up his face, and you also can’t help but notice how adorable it looks. “What was that face for?”

“I didn’t think you’d be a chick flick kinda girl…”

“Oh, I don’t watch it for the story.” You can’t help but laugh as he tries to work out what you mean.

“What’s the point of watching it then?”

“Because Noah Centineo’s pretty to look at.” You don’t add the fact he’s not as pretty as Charlie. It’s not exactly something you can admit on a first Instagram video call – not that you’re expecting there to be more.

“I’m not going to disagree, but is he prettier than me?” You laugh and roll your eyes at him.

“I’m not going to answer that question on the grounds that I barely know you.”

“I can see you blushing, Y/N. I think you think I’m prettier, but don’t want to admit it to my face.” He’s full on laughing now and you can’t help but join in.

“Carry on teasing me, I’ll end this call.” You threaten, making his eyes widen slightly.

“I’m sorry. So, tell me about yourself?” You see him getting comfortable on what looks like a bed. He’s soon lying sideways on the screen in front of you. You decide to mimic him, propping your phone against a glass candle holder on the table next to you. You lie on your side facing both your phone and the TV.

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, for starters, how old are you?”

“I’m twenty-five. You?”

“Twenty-one.”

For two hours, the two of you throw questions back and forth as the movie comes to an end without you noticing.

“Do you think you’ll come to set?” He asks you, surprising you.

“I think it’s doubtful. Once I record a cleaner version of Unsaid Emily, my job’s done. I’m not needed anymore.”

“Oh…” Did you detect a hint of disappointment in his voice? No, you didn’t.

“Well, this has been fun, Charles Jeffrey Gillespie, but I have an appointment in the morning, and I really need to get some sleep.” You sit up, take hold of your phone, and walk out of the lounge to your bedroom.

“Taking me to bed, already? Haven’t even had to buy you dinner.” Charlie jokes, making you roll your eyes at him. “Okay. Maybe we can do this again? Bootcamp lasts for a while longer yet, then we’re going to film in Vancouver.”

“That would be great. And thanks again for being nice about the song.” You both say your goodbyes and once the call has ended, you collapse back on to your bed, unsure exactly what has happened.

:: ::

It’s been three months since you had Unsaid Emily accepted by the show, and in that time you and Charlie have video called on Instagram a few times, but you’re both crazy busy. You’re working on a score for a videogame while he’s finished up with bootcamp and has relocated to Vancouver to start filming. The entire time, neither of you suggested meeting up even though you both lived in L.A.

You’re just leaving your parent’s home when your phone rings in your bag. Not recognizing the number on screen, you debate not answering it, but brush your thumb across the screen anyway.

“Hello?”

“Y/N? It’s Kenny. Are you okay to talk?”

“Hi Kenny, I’ve always got time for you.” You hear him laugh down the phone. “What can I do for you Mr. Ortega?”

“I was wondering, because you did such a great job with Unsaid Emily, if you’d like to come on set to watch it being filmed? See how we’ve adapted it?” Well, that wasn’t what you expected to hear.

“I’d love to. When do you film?”

“The day after tomorrow. I’m sorry it’s all so last minute, but I’ve been busy.”

“I can just about manage it. I’ll book a flight when I get back home, then I’ll message you for directions to the studio.”

“Sounds great. See you soon, and I really think you’ll love what we’ve done with the song.” You reassure him you will and end the call and get into your car to drive home.

After juggling a few things around, you’re able to book a flight to Vancouver for the next afternoon. When You message Kenny, he reassures you there’ll be a car waiting for you. You decide to book a hotel for two nights and a flight back the next day. You’ve never been to a TV set, and don’t know how long these things take. As you pack an overnight bag, you realize you’re excited, not only about seeing your work come to life, but seeing Charlie again, in the flesh.

:: ::

Arriving in Vancouver, you walked through the airport and out into the arrivals lounge, looking for the driver Kenny had sent to pick you up. You were able to bypass having to wait for your luggage thanks to only having a small carry-on bag so made it through the crowds pretty quickly. When you emerged, you saw a row of drivers holding signs, but none had your name on. Deciding to find somewhere to sit and call Kenny, you move past the drivers in black suits. Directly in front of you is Charlie wearing a wide grin.

“Hey you. Moonlighting as a chauffeur to make ends meet?” You tease as you approach him. He surprises you by pulling you into a hug.

“It’s weird not seeing your face on a small screen.” He jokes as he leads you outside, taking your bag from you. You can’t help but notice he’s been working out and his biceps are looking impressive. Well, you knew he had anyway thanks to his constant posting on Instagram, and from your video calls, but seeing it up close makes your mouth go dry.

“I’ve had to put make-up on. No filters in real life, Gillespie.” He rolled his eyes at you as he unlocked his car, an orange Nissan Juke.

“Some car there…” You struggle to hold in a laugh and his mock hurt look.

“Look, it may not be pretty, but it’s great for camping and heading out of town to go hiking.” He was almost pouting when he finished speaking.

“Okay, okay. I give in.” you climb into the car. “Why aren’t you on set?”

“I wasn’t needed for a couple of hours, so I offered to come and meet you. I have to be back once you’re checked in at your hotel. Sorry it’s a bit of a rush.”

“Don’t worry about it. I can go out sightseeing while you’re working hard.” You grin at him. “I’ve never been to Vancouver, or Canada, before.”

“You’ve clearly lived a very sheltered life.” He’s teasing so you just stick your tongue out at him before turning your attention out of the window as Charlie maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. “Have you even left California?” Again with the teasing.

“Not only have I left the state, but I’ve also even left the country.”

“That’s cool, where did you go?”

“I studied in London for a year, then I backpacked around Europe for another, before coming home and becoming a functioning member of society.”

“That’s actually pretty awesome. I’d love to do that, just travel around for a year and get to see so many amazing places.” There’s a look in his eyes you recognize. Wanderlust.

Before long, Charlie’s pulling up outside your hotel and helping you out of the car.

“I would make sure you get checked in okay, but I need to jet. I’m sorry, shall we meet up later, I can introduce you to the rest of the cast.”

“That would be great. Message me so I know when to be ready and where to meet y’all.” He agrees, places a soft kiss against your cheek and gets back into the car. You watch him drive away before going to check in.

:: ::

When you took the job of writing a song for a TV show, you never expected to find yourself out to dinner with the cast of said show, watching them do karaoke. All of them have included you, which made you feel as if you’re part of their circle, despite their many in jokes and stories from set. Madison greeted you like an old friend, telling you she’d head a lot about you from Charlie. That surprised you because you hardly knew him beyond the few video calls you’d had.

“He talks about you all the time, and Owen says he can hear his side of the conversations. He teases him about it all the time.” You stare at her, confused.

“That’s crazy. We hardly know each other.”

“Doesn’t stop feelings from happening.” She laughs at you, before dragging you up to perform with her.

The entire evening is a blast, but you all have to call it a night early thanks to their early call to set. You plan to call an uber back to your hotel, but Charlie insists on making sure you get back safe. As you say goodbye to the others, Madison give you a look you don’t even attempt to try and decipher.

“Thanks for tonight, I had a great time. You’re lucky you guys are so close.” You tell Charlie as your uber moves through the dark streets.

“Yeah, they’re great and we’re like a family. I know it sounds corny and cliché, but it’s the truth. I think that’s why Kenny set up bootcamp. It makes going to work so much easier.”

Silence falls over you, but it’s a comfortable one, and all too soon, you’re pulling up outside your hotel.

“Thanks for making sure I got back safe.” You say as you get ready to climb out of the car. Charlie surprises you by following you. “Oh, you don’t need to see me inside, I’m a big girl.”

“I know, but my mom would kill me if I didn’t. I was taught to make sure pretty girls got home safe.” You laugh but are filled with warmth at him calling you pretty.

“I bet you use that line on all the girls.” You give him a nudge with your shoulder which makes him laugh.

“Not really.” He holds out his elbow for you to tuck your hand through as he walks into the building.

Once you’re outside your room, you turn to face him and thank him for inviting you out again.

“It was a pleasure. I just hope you had a good time.”

“I really did. I’ll see you in the morning, then.”

“Yeah, see you.”

:: ::

The following morning, you’re up at what feels like the crack of dawn. You’re regretting the shots you had the night before as you climb into an uber to head over to the studio. The closer you get, the more excited you become. You’ve seen your songs brought to life on screen before, but you’ve never been there for the filming.

As you climb out of your car, you hear someone call out your name. You turn to see Madison and her dad walking toward you.

“Hey Y/N. How are you feeling after last night?” She asks, giggling slightly. You’re more than a little jealous of the fact she’s a minor and is unable to drink any alcohol.

“A bit delicate, but nothing a strong coffee won’t cure.” You smile as she introduces you to her dad as the three of you walk inside. They stay with you as you’re signed in and given a visitor’s pass.

“What do you know about this scene you’re watching today?” Madison asks you as you follow her through the hallways.

“Not a lot if I’m honest. I know a little background to the song and Luke as a character, but nothing else.”

“Woah, you’re in for a treat. I hope you didn’t wear any eye make-up.” Mr. Reyes laughs at his daughter’s words as you reach the catering tent. The aroma of coffee is calling you. “Well, I’ll see you soon, I’m first in hair and make-up.” The young girl gives you a tight hug and leaves you to fuel your need for caffeine.

By the time you’ve finished your drink, and a bagel, the tent is filling up around you. You spot Kenny entering and he makes a beeline for you.

“Y/N, it’s so good to see you again.”

“Thanks for having me. I’m honored to be invited. I know this is a bit unusual.”

“Honey, you don’t need to thank me. It was this guy’s idea.” He stepped aside to reveal Charlie, in full Luke costume.

“Oh…”

:: ::

Standing next to Kenny, you’re silent as the opening bars to your song start to play. A lump has already gathered in your throat as you watch Charlie as Luke singing to his mother who can’t see him. You knew it was an emotional song, but hearing it sung live and in context of the show, you can’t quite believe it’s yours.

You know they have some scenes to film that will be cut into the scene, but you can’t help being mesmerized by the tone of Charlie’s voice as he sings a song of regret.

You feel tears pricking at your eyes as rounds a corner of the set, belting out the final pre chorus, the rasp to his voice, and tears flowing down his face. Kenny takes a look at you and grabs hold of your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“You did good.” He compliments you. Wiping at your eyes, hoping your mascara isn’t running, you shake your head.

“No, that was all him.” Once filming’s over, you make an excuse to Kenny and head outside for some fresh air. You’re feeling overwhelmed and in awe of what they’ve done with your song.

“Are you okay?” Charlie’s voice is soft as he walks up to stand next to you.

“I’m fine, just a bit overwhelmed. I never expected it to… to be that good.” You realize you could have offended him and begin to stumble over your words. “Not that I mean… you’ve got an amazing voice, and you injected so much hurt and pain into the song. It sounded better than I ever imagined it to.”

You feel like a bumbling idiot and turn away from Charlie so he can’t see the embarrassment on your face. He moves to stand directly in front of you, using his hand to gently lift your chin so you have nowhere else to look but directly into his eyes.

“If the song wasn’t right, I wouldn’t have been able to do what I just did, so it’s all on you too.” It feels as if his hazel eyes are looking deep into your soul.

“Thank you.” You finally accept a compliment, making him smile. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you ask for me to be here today?”

“Because the moment I heard the rough cut of Unsaid Emily I felt it was only right you be here. There something in your lyrics and melody that will truly have an affect on the audience, and I felt you needed to see that for yourself.” He suddenly let go of you and looked away.

“Why do I feel like there’s an ‘and’ coming?”

“And… the moment I heard that rough cut, I needed to know more about you. That’s why I followed you on Insta and started the video calls. I needed to know you.”

You don’t know what to say, not that there’s time for you to. Charlie looks back at you, places his hands on your waits, and bends his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss. It’s quick, but gets your pulse racing. He pulls away, slowly.

“Is Noah Centineo still prettier than me?”

You laugh before crushing your lips against is again, this time not so softly.

‘

Tags: @dream-a-little-bigger-x @xplrreylo

If you’d like to be tagged, just drop me a message.

#charlie gillespie #fic #imagine #charlie x reader #real person fic #Mich writes fic

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todds-perry · 3 years

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Hey there, sorry if I'm bothering you. I just had a question to ask. I don't have many friends, and I can't even talk about anything with my 2 friends. It's not their fault, it's me, I'm bad at it, you know, like talking about my feelings. I've had severe anxiety for many years and I think I overcame it a little bit, but since the last year, lockdown and all, it's like I'm again at level 1. And this time I think my anxiety has just gotten stronger. I write poems, and really do write well. I love them. I want to be a poet. But the thing is you know, it's hard for me being vulnerable, and poems are all about vulnerability. Just today I shared one of my poems on WhatsApp (for the first time) and right after sharing it, my fingers were literally shaking. I don't know why, like I wasn't even with someone, I was all alone and yet. I keep thinking that I'm getting better but I can't really tell. I don't know, when we'll get back to normal routine, things are going to be more difficult for me. This anxiety has only worsened. I don't have money for therapy and stuff but more than that, asking my parents for going to therapy is too much. They'll ask questions on why I need therapy and you know I can't express my feelings, I'll just start crying because my anxiety is rooted in my trauma and I don't like talking about my trauma.

I'm just able to write it here because you know, I can maintain my anonymity. But I wanted to ask should I seek professional help? Or can you like suggest me things I can try doing to help with my anxiety? Or like how do non-anxious people lead their lives?

Thanks

Hello lovely. Don’t worry, you’re not bothering me.

First of all, i think it takes a lot to tell someone the things you’re going through. Even anonymously, im sure it must’ve felt good to write all of it down instead of keeping it in your head. It’s a healthy coping mechanism, doesn’t matter if you’re talking to someone on the internet, irl, writing it down in your notes app, whatever, as long as you’re getting the thoughts out of your head. My therapist once gave me an exercise: every day for a month I had to write at least one page in my notebook as soon as i woke up. It could be my thoughts, a drawing, song lyrics, anything. Some days i would just write “i don’t know what to write” over and over again. After a few weeks you get used to it and it starts to feel really liberating.

Also, I completely understand the poetry thing. Art is an escape for me too. To that i say keep doing it, even if you think some poets are bad, good, great, doesn’t matter, cause i truly think art is the most important thing in the world.

Sadly, i get what you mean when you talk about your trauma, but unfortunately the best thing we can do to heal is talk about it. It might take time, it took me 4 years to tell just 2 people, but really every step matters, even if it’s a small one. If you ever feel comfortable, I’m always here if you need to talk privately.

#long post

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academian-rhapsody · 4 years

Text

Mikuyami’s Giant Guide to Self-Studying Japanese

If you’re like me, you’ve always wanted to be able to switch tabs while you’re watching anime and still be able to understand what they’re saying. Chances are you’ve watched enough anime to know a few words here and there and even understand a sentence once in a while, but you’re still not anywhere close to fluent. To get fluent, you’re going to have to do a lot more than watch anime. This is what this guide is for. Japanese isn’t an easy language to learn, and knowing which resources are good is important if you want to learn it properly. While the resources are the focus of this guide, it’s very important to read the stuff I’ve written about them. I know the walls of text look scary, but just trust me.

Note: all resources listed are completely free unless otherwise stated.

And yes, all the links in this guide will open in a new tab when you click on them. You’re welcome.

For now, let’s start with the basics - Hiragana. Hiragana is the first thing you should learn and teaches you Japanese pronounciation, reading, and later on, grammar. Here are a few good resources for learning it:

Websites:

Really, the only website I’d recommend (that’s completely free) is Memrise. Memrise is great for learning Hiragana/Katakana and vocab. It’s used for other school subjects like math and science, but I’d say it’s the best for learning languages. You’ll learn words and characters quickly, but it’s important to do it for 10-20 minutes each day. HOWEVER: While Memrise is an amazing vocab resource, it isn’t optimal for grammar at all. It’s also important to know which courses are good and which ones aren’t.*

Phone apps:

Kana Mind - This is by far my favorite resource for learning Hiragana (and Katakana!). When I decided to start learning Japanese, I wasn’t sure where to start, so I just downloaded some simple phone apps. I’m glad I did - this app is extremely easy to use and I quickly learned Hiragana. Just like Memrise, though, you should review the characters for 10-20 minutes fairly often.

TenguGo Kana - A lot more information is covered in this app. While Kana Mind is good for learning the characters, TenguGo is good for learning about the characters. It also includes Hiragana and Katakana charts for quick reference.

Memrise - Yes, Memrise also has a phone app! It works just as well as the website (in my opinion).

Kana Draw - Learning the stroke order for Hiragana is important, and this app teaches you just that. It’s very simple, but again, you should practice consistently.

Very important: You should also practice writing Hiragana! With correct stroke order, of course. All that’s needed to do this is a pen and paper. This chart shows the stroke order for all the Hiragana, but you shouldn’t look at it constantly - it’s more of a quick reference thing, and you won’t learn as well if you rely on it too much.

Really, you don’t need any fancy resources to learn Hiragana! You shouldn’t be spending any money to learn it, either. What I’ve listed should suffice. Hiragana is straightforward and you don’t need to do anything but memorize what sound each character makes. Most of these resources also cover Katakana, which is what you should be learning next.

*In Japanese, there’s a formal way of speaking and causal way of speaking. Some Memrise courses only teach formal, and while that’s important to learn, so is casual! There isn’t really a good way to tell you how to distinguish formal courses from casual ones, so for now I’ll just say… trust your instinct. That’s terrible advice, I know, but just focus on learning vocab and be aware that you still have to learn either causal or formal.

Because most of the Hiragana resources I listed also include Katakana, it’s time to move onto the more scary stuff - grammar. No, we don’t need to start learning Kanji quite yet, as the Kanji can be read with the Hiragana sounds (that’s why Hiragana is so important to learn). You’ll need more resources to learn grammar, but the go-to man for this is…

Tae Kim.

This guy has a special place in my heart. His Japanese grammar guide, guidetojapanese.org, is arguably the best free Japanese guide out there. I’ve gotten more out of this one site (it can be purchased as a book too) than out of every other resource I’ve used. He provides videos as well as explanations and examples. However, it helps a lot to take notes and copy examples down for future reference. To give you an idea of what I mean, here’s a page of notes I took in a simple composition notebook: Of course, there’s no format you have to follow while taking notes - just do whatever makes sense to you and what helps you. Taking notes also gives you practice with writing characters. The great thing about Tae Kim’s guide is that it gives polite examples as well as casual examples (as you can see from my notes). Also, throughout the guide, you learn plenty of vocab and even Kanji. While this guide covers Japanese grammar really well and could be the only resource you’ll need, sometimes you need more examples or explanations.

This website is kind of like a wiki for Japanese grammar. I haven’t had much experience with it so I can’t say much about it, but it provides plenty of examples and explanations, and is broken into different levels so the easy grammar stuff is separate from the more complicated grammar. The content is contributed by other people (which is why it’s like a wiki), so there’s lots of stuff to look through.

Now comes the wall in the Japanese language: Kanji. This is where a lot of people stop learning Japanese because they get scared off by it. Yes, Kanji is scary and you’ll have to learn a lot of Kanji to become fluent in Japanese, but now that you’ve come this far you might as well keep going. Since there’s so much to learn with Kanji, you’re gonna need fancier resources and sometimes - sorry to say - ones that you have to pay for.

iKnow! is overall a great resource for learning Japanese. It provides a tutorial on how to use it, and helps with Kanji, listening, etc. I gave it a try and really liked it - it’s very organized and spends extra time reviewing the words/Kanji you have trouble with. The one downside to it is that you have to pay to use it. There’s a free trial, which you can actually learn a lot from, but if you really wanna learn vocab/Kanji then you’re gonna wanna get the membership.

Anki is available as a phone app and downloadable program as well as online (but the program should be the first and most used). It’s like flashcards - you’re shown a Kanji, and you have to know what that Kanji means. You then “flip” the card to see the correct answer. I’m calling them flashcards, but they’re just called cards and sets of cards are called decks. You can make your own cards, but decks can be downloaded from Ankiweb. Anki is completely free and I’ve heard lots of good things about it.

Tofugu is a site dedicated to learning Japanese and Japanese culture. It has plenty of information about Kanji readings, Kanji stroke order, etc., and even provides other resources for learning Kanji. While it doesn’t provide vocab, it’s good for learning about Kanji.

EDIT: I’ve recently discovered a phone app called KanjiSenpai and it has quickly become my most favorite resource for learning Kanji. You can learn tons of Kanji using this app, and it even teaches you the stroke order of each one (tips for guessing a Kanji’s stroke order can be found on Tofugu). In addition, it keeps track of how long you studied each day. I’d highly recommend this app for learning Kanji.

Other Resources

Sometimes you need to look up a Kanji’s stroke order, or maybe you just wanna learn more about Japanese culture. This part of the guide is for random resources that help with Japanese or provide information about it.

Jisho.org Basically a Kanji dictionary. You simply search for a Kanji, and the meaning, pronunciations, and stroke order for it can be found. I refer to it a lot, sometimes when reading Tae Kim’s guide and other times when I’m just curious about a Kanji.

Maggie Sensei This website has information about Japanese culture, manners, mini Japanese lessons, and more. I’d say it’s more for intermediate Japanese learners, but there’s still a lot to be learned regardless of how much Japanese you know.

Youtubers There’s quite a few people that track their lives in Japan through vlogs. These videos provide tons of information about Japanese culture, and sometimes there’s videos about learning Japanese. My favorite person that makes these sorts of videos is kanadajin3. She has lots of videos about Japanese culture and provides tips about learning Japanese for all levels of learners. Another Youtuber I’d recommend is jyuusankaidan. She basically does the same thing as kanadajin3, but also includes vocab from her videos in the description. Finally, Medama Sensei makes videos mainly about Japanese society. Though his channel doesn’t seem to be active anymore, his videos were very interesting to watch.

Anime Yeah, okay, I said anime isn’t good for learning Japanese, but that’s only if you want to become fluent in it. There’s still a lot you can learn from watching anime - that is, if you listen carefully and pay attention to what the characters are saying, how they say it, and when they say it. If you really wanna test out how much you’ve learned, try watching a non-dubbed version of the anime and see if you can understand what everyone’s saying. This can also help you learn faster and get used to how Japanese sounds.

Japanese Songs Something I’ve only started doing recently is taking a few lines of lyrics from a Japanese song and learning them thoroughly. This means learning the meaning of all the Kanji in those lyrics, learning how to write them (thank you Jisho.org), and learning how to pronounce everything (find the Romaji lyrics). This obviously helps with learning multiple aspects of Japanese.

As a final little note, I’d say that the most important thing to do in order to learn Japanese is to just keep at it. When I started learning Kanji, I was overwhelmed by the fact that each Kanji had multiple pronounciations, but as you learn more, things start making more sense. I’ve definitely noticed a lot of improvement in my understanding of Japanese. So, always try to stay motivated in your studying!

Well, that just about does it for this guide. If you know of any other good resources that I didn’t list, feel free to add them onto this post. Also, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send me an ask! I’d be more than happy to answer your question. I’m no expert and I’m still far from being fluent in Japanese, but I’ll do my best to help you.

Thank you for reading and happy studying!

#the reason I copy-pasted is bc I couldnt hardly read on the saved version #mikuyami #not mine #japanese #langauge #language learning

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apenapaperandadoofus · 4 years

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You don't actually have to answer all these if you don't want to I have a lot and I'm trying to be picky with questions but I failed XD

6, 12, 16, 20, 21, 24, 33, 46, 47, 49, 56, 57, 58, 65, 70, 63, 76, 81, 85, 86, 87, 88, 95, 97, 98

Oh boy AJSHSHS it's fine hehe

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

- I've no idea, mostly preppy and casual? When I was a kid I used to go full tomboy style but recently I've been wearing skirts and dresses ✌️

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-I have two favorite ones that I've made, one is the classical/instrumental/inspirational/writing one that's called Super Sound Collection, and the other one is just for all my other songs, it's called 💕✨Sue but make it aside❤️🎊😉

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-Oof I don't like sitting lmaooo, maybe with my legs crossed, or leaning against something!

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Oof for writing book ideas it's in a notebook, when I write the requests and such it's always on tumblr, sometimes on draft and sometimes I just whip it out and post it there and then ajsjdbdb, don't really like writing on my computer bc i write faster in my phone (and it's easier to do it in my bed with the lights off lol)

21. obsession from childhood?

-Hmmmm Monster High? And maybe also Dork Diaries, I have all of them until the 9th (idk if there's more ajshdb) also maybe Diary of a Wimpy kid, which I have till the 12th, one day my great great grandkids are going to be so happy I never threw them out lol

24. favorite crystal?

-OH OK! So rubies and also esmerald (that how you say it? The green ones lol), bc their colour is just so pretty and vibrant and I love it! So pretty (i don't really know any more crystals lol sorry for being so basic ajsjsjs)

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-Se me hace una falta de respeto, which I use with my friends. It's basically means "this is so disrespectful/I feel so offended rn" which we always use joking hehe.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Well my dad has been loosing like a loooot of weight these past few years and he just gives me the shirts he doesn't want to wear or just don't fit him anymore lol, I use them all as pj's and it's super fun and comforting! Also they're super big on me which is 100/10

47. favorite type of cheese?

-Ish, idk I am not like a super big fan of cheese....the only one I stand it's mozzarella lol

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-if you kill yourself, people you don't know or like are going to act as if they were your friends and milk the situation, so stay alive out of pure spite

56. favorite tradition?

-Whenever it's Christmas my whole family gets together, we go to grandma's house, bake cookies, exchange gifts, make tamales and then my uncle and cousins do a small sketch, where they act or sing or dance etc etc. I used to be part of all of them until I became a teen, then I was too cool for that shit lolol but since there are still little kids in the family we keep doing it for them :D

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Uhhh living in another country without being able to speak english uhh...the other ones are struggles I haven't overcome ajsjsjsjaybe I've gotten a bit more chill with le ✨ anxiety ✨ and ✨depression✨ but they still come up sometimes ahsbs

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-I DON'T HAVE ANY ANSNSBSBS I GUESS I CAN EASILY MEMORIZE SONG LYRICS? BUT THAT'S ALL I CAN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING ELSE AJSHSB MAYBE BEING ABLE TO EAT 30 BROWNIES IN A DAY WITHOUT BEING SICK

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Hmmmm One Punch OP (f it lol), bohemian rhapsody, somebody to love, shut up and dance (a classic) and maybe killing kind? Idk I don't listen to much club music lmao it'd be the most boring club everrrr

65. any permanent scars?

-Uhhh tw I guess but uh- (we boutta get depressed in here y'all) self harm ones ajsjsjs I have a few that still haven't faded out and probably never will. Also scratches from my cat HOW ARE THEY SO STRONG LMAOOOO and emotional scars from school and shit (I may have added new physical ones to the collection from falling last time during PE 💀💀)

70. left or right handed?

- I'm left handed, the only one in my family lol, and everybody always seems so surprised for some reason??

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-French fries, chips and mashed potatoes lol

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

- I've actually only seen fireflies once, and they were pretty cool so I'll go with them :0

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-BOTHHHH ALL THE WAYYYY

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-Depends, but probably cupcakes, only if they're chocolate ones and maybe have chips.

87. your greatest fear?

-Being a ✨failure✨ and also the sea and space, fuck that shit (IM SORRY LMAO ITS JUST SO SCARY!!)

88. your greatest wish?

-I wanna be someone my parents and family are proud of, also to have a bunch of kids and my own library room one day :0

95. favorite app on your phone?

-I like tiktok ajsjdjd, spotify and tumblr, those are the ones I use the most

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

-Literally only my mom's and 911 IM LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD LMAOOOO I don't even know mine 💀

#api talks #ask game

4 notes · View notes

jasonbehrs · 3 years

Text

i wanna read every word, chapter 2

by airauralintensity (aka me, jasonbehrs!)

“Have you ever fallen in love with someone you’ve never met?” “Uh, do you mean like we’ve-been-doing-long-distance-slash-online-dating or like I’ve-been-crushing-on-the-cute-barista-at-the-library-cafe?” “Ummm, more like I’ve-read-their-poems-and-sure-they’re-very-talented-but-their-handwriting-alone-makes-me-smile.” “… That’s oddly specific.”

fandom: kpop, super junior characters: eunhyuk, ryeowook; guest appearances by the rest of sj-m and yesung ship: eunwook genre: romantic comedy themes: alternate endings, strangers to lovers, handwriting, identity reveal setting: college chapter: 2/4 word count: 5.2k

read it below or on ffnet, aff, wattpad

A/N (6.6.2021): Welcome to the next installment folks! Some clarifying things:

- This is the first of two alternate endings to the story, which answers the question, 'What if Ryeowook finds out first?'

- I got some interesting reviews/PMs about the last chapter? Eunhyuk isn't pining after Yesung or anything, and I didn't mean to indicate that would be an aspect of the story. If you were looking forward to it, I'll be disappointing you today haha. Feel free to let me know how much you hate me in a review ;)

Also, today would have been my grandmother's 102nd birthday, so I'm dedicating this chapter to her since she always loved seeing me write. Love you, Nanay!

~~~

He and Hyukjae haven't hung out alone before, but he's sure this won't be awkward. Their only real link may have just been Yesung, but Hyukjae successfully ingrained himself into their entire friend group in the short weeks since they first met. Besides, even if Hyukjae weren't so willing to help him with his twisted scavenger hunt for love, Ryeowook thinks he'd like to hang out with him some time anyway. He's grown to like Hyukjae, really.

At least, that's what he tells himself when he turns the corner and sees Hyukjae sitting alone on a bench in the quad with his legs crossed, a laptop over one knee and an open notebook on the other, waiting for him to arrive.

Ryeowook takes a breath to steel his nerves then heads over to plop himself right next to the other. He doesn't say anything and takes out his own work instead. They don't have to start with the crush thing.

"Ah, my favourite person under 5'2". How do you do?" Hyukjae snarks without pausing his typing.

In response, Ryeowook uses a single finger to tip Hyukjae's notebook onto the ground without remorse.

"Ya!" Hyukjae picks up his notebook and slaps Ryeowook with it.

On the downswing, Ryeowook freezes.

"Oh shit, did I hit you that hard? Sorry, I didn't mean to," Hyukjae hurriedly apologises, but that's not it at all.

Ryeowook had caught a glimpse of the notes hurriedly scrawled across the open book. He would recognise that handwriting anywhere.

"Why don't we get started then," Hyukjae offers uneasily, eyeing how Ryeowook's stance hadn't relaxed yet. "Um, did you bring a copy of one of the notes like we discussed?"

Of course he did. Ryeowook was so excited to be one step closer to identifying the person behind the song lyrics that took up as much space in his brain as his Food Sciences lecture notes, he had brought the whole ass scrapbook with him, eager to show off his favourites to a new and willing audience.

But now, Ryeowook is panicking. He found the object of his affections much sooner than for which he was ready; and said object is sitting right next to him, staring at him expectantly and eager to help.

Not letting himself think it through, Ryeowook rummages through his bag looking for viable scraps of paper. There is no way he is going to hand Hyukjae's own work to him, so he makes do with what he's got.

He bypasses the lyric samples he actually prepared for today's meeting and found ones of his own making which he had intended to recycle weeks ago but never got around to. He silently thanks himself for this terrible habit as he frantically smooths out the small squares of paper before handing them to Hyukjae.

The other raises his eyebrows as he reads through the papers. "Damn, I was hoping that maybe one of these things had even a little similarity to an assignment we've heard so far, but no dice."

Ryeowook nods, affecting understanding disappointment even as he privately rejoices.

"Do you mind if I keep these? I can, like, surreptitiously check people's notebooks during group assignments," he offers with a laugh. "Pearl blue sticky notes can't be that common in a class of 50, right?''

Ryeowook smiles, wide and fake. "Fingers crossed!"

~Even though we're making awkward conversation, it's clear that we're happy to be together.~

Thus proceeds their search for Poem Person. (The gender-neutral nickname Mi had come up with stuck even after Hyukjae revealed those were not actually poems being left behind. Alliterative nicknames are just so catchy.)

"Okay, what if we tie a balloon to your chair and hope Poem Person likes balloons enough to take it with them around campus?" "No way, they won't take it." "How could you possibly be so sure?"

Sometimes, it's Hyukjae coming up with ridiculous plots.

"Trust me. They curl their lowercase L's." "I'm gonna let this go, but I want you to know that makes zero sense."

Plots which Ryeowook foils with equally ridiculous reasoning.

"''We might have never known each other, but we crossed faraway paths and came together. We crossed the distance of a stranger that's farther away than space.' Huh, not bad." "You think so?"

Sometimes, it's Hyukjae asking to read more of the scraps that Ryeowook collects, partially so Hyukjae can make fun of him, but mostly so that he has more clues.

"Yeah. I mean, it doesn't help me at all, but your man's got a way with words. I wonder why he doesn't submit any of the stuff you've shown me for class. It's worth critiquing."

An ask which forces Ryeowook to wrack his brain for passable imitations of song-lyrics-that-could-be-mistakenly-construed-as-poems and to get used to writing with his nondominant hand.

"Pass. Pass. Pass. Pass." "Really? You're passing on Park Hyungsik?"

Today, neither of them are feeling very motivated, so Hyukjae pulls up the Facebook profiles of his classmates and let Ryeowook play smash or pass because "it's fun to hear strangers' opinions on people you know."

"Oh, absolutely. Does that guy look like he cares where he dots his i's and j's? Hard pass," Ryeowook maintains.

Hyukjae shakes his head in amazement as he pulls back his phone. "You'll meet him one day, and you'll regret this moment; mark my words. Hyungsik is universally loved. Honestly, I'm not convinced yet Poem Person isn't him. He fits basically all of your criteria."

Ryeowook has to actively smother a knowing smirk. "What a shame."

He didn't come clean to Hyukjae in the quad that day because he panicked. Ryeowook was not mentally ready to meet the object of his affections so soon, much more confess, so he acted on impulse to buy himself some time.

Once he had it, he got curious.

It's no secret that Ryeowook had built up an idea of what Poem Person is like. The lyrics provided some insight, of course; but most of his intuition came from the handwriting itself. From what he could see, Poem Person was supposed to be intensely passionate, excitingly impulsive, and almost sickeningly romantic.

"Okay, how about this guy?" Hyukjae asks as he passes his phone over again.

Ryeowook takes one look at the screen and snorts. "Very funny. Pass."

The app is opened to a photo of Hyukjae himself posed unnaturally on a couch wearing a forward-facing snapback perched atop his head and an awkward half-smile, and Ryeowook refuses to look at it any longer before he does something he'll regret, like coo affectionately.

"Pass!?" Hyukjae repeats with mock-incredulity. "Don't you think he looks charming and witty and oh-so-loveable?"

Ryeowook indeed had a lot of thoughts about what Poem Person would look like, and 'charming,' 'witty,' and 'oh-so-loveable' have indeed flitted through his mind. Actually, Ryeowook finds that Hyukjae and Poem Person aren't altogether dissimilar.

Hyukjae is passionate about his craft, to be sure, but it doesn't occupy every one of his waking moments like Ryeowook expected. He is as much of a romantic as the next person is, but really Hyukjae is poetic, a distinction Ryeowook learns and appreciates very early on. Hyukjae is a little too thoughtful to be so impulsive, but his quick wit and ability to do/say/become whatever a situation calls for more than fulfill the quota for chaos that underlay Ryeowook's original supposition.

So yes, Ryeowook is withholding the truth so that he can slot the person he made up in his head into the person Hyukjae is, but it's been worth it.

"He looks like a brat and like his feet smell." "YAH! My shoes don't breathe!" "Get better shoes, then." "Give me the money, then." "Get a job, then." "That's not fair! Helping you find Poem Person is basically my part-time job!" "Consider it more of an unpaid internship."

Before Hyukjae takes his turn to volley back, his phone rings in his hand.

"Ah, as much fun as this was, I gotta go. I have a mini-showcase coming up, and I've been slacking on rehearsals." He shakes his phone towards Ryeowook, and the latter could see an alarm screen that reads "get your dumb ass to the gulliver center!"

Ryeowook's heart beats a noticeable thump thump all of a sudden. "Can I come with?"

"S-sure," Hyukjae says, shocked by the offer. "But why?"

That's a great question. For now, he says, "Because your internship is getting in the way of your studies, and I feel bad," but later, he'll know it's because he didn't want his time with Hyukjae to end so soon.

A grateful grin spreads across Hyukjae's face, and Ryeowook will add that onto his list of reasons later as well. "An audience is always welcome."

In no time, Hyukjae is in a practise room in the athletic center stretching his limbs every which way while Ryeowook watches as intently as possible while feigning interest in literally anything else in the room.

The bass-heavy noise music that Hyukjae puts on startles his attention back onto the dancer, and Ryeowook can no longer hide how blatantly he stares.

Hyukjae moves through the choreography so fluidly it almost looks lazy. He goes from jagged angles and harsh lines to sinewy curves and rolling waves to strong stomps and high jumps with no hesitation. He plays with the rhythm of the music, and he makes full use of the space available to him. Ryeowook is barely processing one impressive move when Hyukjae executes another one; and before he knows it, the performance is over.

"So," Hyukjae pants, "what'd ya think?"

"It's…" Jaw-dropping. Powerful. Hot. "… impressive," Ryeowook says at last.

Hyukjae smiles tightly. "Thanks. It actually needs a bit of work for the showcase, but I don't think the routine is all too shabby."

Ryeowook watches as Hyukjae watches himself through the mirror, redoing parts of the choreography over and over again at different tempos just to fine-tune his movements, and he can't help but feel like Hyukjae needed more from him.

"Um, I wonder if maybe it's lacking emotion?"

All movement halts. "What?"

Ryeowook didn't mean to say that; but now that it's out, he finds himself needing to continue. "You move well, um, obviously," he gestures awkwardly to Hyukjae's person, fighting a blush. "It looks physically difficult, sure, but what is it that you're trying to say? Like, I'm guessing you chose that song, too, right? So, why?"

Hyukjae stands in the middle of the room, arms limp by his side, and staring at Ryeowook with an unnervingly blank look on his face. Ryeowook hastily backpedals, "But hey, what do I know? I'm sure your professors will watch you and see all the nuances I can't with my untrained peon eyes. I was just… talking to talk, I guess."

"No, but I think you have a point," Hyukjae interjects.

Ryeowook perks up. "I do?"

"Yeah, like… I was so focused on trying to show what I can do with something only I could do, but that means basically nothing when any one of my classmates could learn my routine with only a week of practise. The only way I would be able to stand out is from whatever I put into it, but you made me realise I didn't put anything into it." He plops on the floor, eyebrows furrowed in consternation.

Ryeowook shakes his head adamantly. "No, no! There's clearly something there! You just need to, like, bring it out more. You have that whole idea—that this is something only you can do. You can take that, morph your routine into a testament to your need to prove yourself. Start with some trepidation, throw some desperation in the middle, and end with triumph. Honestly, I think I saw a little bit of that in your performance already. Maybe it was an accident, but now, just… do it on purpose."

"'Do it on purpose,'" Hyukjae repeats to himself. His head is down, so Ryeowook can't immediately tell what he thinks of the idea. He's ready to apologise again, even offer to go home so that Hyukjae can concentrate better, but then Hyukjae raises his head. "Alright, let me give that a try."

His eyes are filled with will and determination. Ryeowook, of all people, put those there.

He sits back and watches Hyukjae rehearse his routine over and over again, getting better and more evocative each time.

The Hyukjae before him is not a Hyukjae Ryeowook would have been able to guess based on his handwriting and lyrics alone.

Ryeowook knows basically nothing about dancing; but over the past few weeks, he's really come to know Hyukjae. He's noticed how the other is prone to express himself through movement, like when he accentuates his stories with body language and physical reenactments. It belies a comfort and confidence with his body and what it can do with which Ryeowook could never empathise. It's a subtle thing, but impactful nevertheless.

He smothers it down because he doesn't want to give Hyukjae the wrong idea, but he wants to laugh.

Only he could fall for a dancer's words first before anything else, and only he could fall for the same person twice.

~Where should I start? When should I say it? Darling, our seconds, our minutes together were beautiful.~

"Ryeowook, why haven't you asked to see my handwriting yet?"

"What?"

They had commandeered a study room in the library, but honestly neither of them are making a lot of headway in their respective assignments. Ryeowook didn't want anything to do with Organic Chemistry, but this conversation is making him reconsider his previous stance.

"Isn't that what you're into? Trying to infer people's personalities based on their handwriting?"

"I'm not into it. It just happened."

"Okay, sure, but aren't you, like, good at it now? Read mine! Tell me what it says about me."

Ryeowook, desperate to squash this idea immediately, blurts out. "It… It won't work!"

"Why not?" Hyukjae pouts.

Ryeowook scrambles. "Because I know you already. Yeah. I'll see and interpret things in a way that confirms what I already know."

Hyukjae eyebrows furrow in what Ryeowook can presume is consternation. "Sorry," he offers feebly.

Some more time passes, and Ryeowook makes mild progress on his O-Chem work, before Hyukjae speaks up again. "So if you can't do me, can you do my friend?" he asks with an excited tone that makes Ryeowook wary.

"I do not want to do your friend." You, however…

"NO! I mean: can you interpret my friend's handwriting? Here. He left it at my place last time we studied together."

Hyukjae's smirk radiates smug self-satisfaction, and with one look at the paper, Ryeowook understands why. He actively controls every muscle in his body to prevent the facepalm that's threatening to break loose.

He has to give Hyukjae props, though. If Ryeowook weren't already so intimately acquainted with the handwriting on the page before him, the other's ploy could have worked.

Regardless, he still finds himself in the position he was trying to avoid in the first place.

All the best lies are based in truth, right? "So I can tell your friend has a very high-stress major. The handwriting is cramped and small, like he can't waste a single stroke or else he'll miss something he needs to write down. Ah, see how he doesn't fully cross his t's and dot his i's? He thinks he'll be able to read his own handwriting later. He probably has decent memory or just has a lot of faith in himself."

Hyukjae nods with an impressed frown. "Huh, not bad."

It would be so, so easy to stop there, but Ryeowook can't. He loves Hyukjae's handwriting too much. "And look here," he points excitedly to a cross-out near the center of the page. "He could cross out his mistakes with a single line or a little squiggle, but he completely blocks it out instead. It suggests he has more confidence with the obvious; but really, I think he needs the reminder. Like, 'Yeah, I made a mistake. I'll move on, but I won't let myself forget. That way I don't do it again.'"

A moment later, Ryeowook realises with a jolt that he had been holding and smiling at the scrap paper a little too tenderly. He whips his head up in embarrassment, an explanation-slash-apology at the tip of his tongue, but Hyukjae doesn't seem to notice.

In fact, Hyukjae has been silent the whole time. Ryeowook chuckles awkwardly. "Am I right?"

"Huh?" Hyukjae intones as he's brought out of his reverie. Ryeowook thinks he sees something in his eyes when their gazes meet, but Hyukjae blinks and it's gone. "I'm sorry, what did you ask me?"

"I was wondering if I was right. About your 'friend,'" Ryeowook reminds, air quotes clear in his tone.

Hyukjae shuffles uncomfortably in his seat. "I think you're more right than even he's ready to admit," he says with a hand at the back of his neck and a sardonic quirk of his lips.

The sight causes an unexplainable swell of affection within Ryeowook, and he turns away. "He can take his time," he assures, eyes trained on his textbook even though he can't read a damn thing.

Hyukjae nods his thanks and turns back to his homework, but Ryeowook doesn't feel right letting it end here.

"Hey, wanna give my handwriting a try?"

~You always lift your head to look up at me. I want to take my big hands and cup your small cheeks.~

Next time they're meant to hang out, it's the weekend; and Hyukjae texts him to meet him at Bomnal.

"Both of us were here just two days ago, and we have to be here again in two days. Don't we spend enough time in Bomnal as it is?" Ryeowook complains as soon as he enters the atrium of the academic building.

"Think of it like a field trip. Come on, Wook," Hyukjae says as he leads them to the second floor lecture hall.

"Pretty sure field trips are meant to take us out of the classroom, but sure, whatever," Ryeowook grumbles as he follows along.

He's testy. He knows it, but he can't help it.

This is the first time both of them will be in Bomnal 235 at once. It feels like a turning point, like he's going to learn something today whether he wants to or not. He wonders if Hyukjae feels the same sense of impending that he does, or maybe it's just worse for him because he's in love.

As soon as they open the doors, the automatic lights flick on and douse the room with a very awake yellow.

"So… where do you normally sit?" Hyukjae asks as he motions to the empty seats before them.

Ryeowook freezes. Now that it's upon him, he can definitively identify this as the thing he was anxious about.

What if he tells the truth, Hyukjae realises Poem Person is him, and he feels awkward about it? Their comfortable but still-very-new friendship would evaporate on the spot, and Ryeowook won't have him in any capacity, much more a romantic one.

So, in another impeccable display of judgement, he decides to lie again.

"Oh, you know… I change it up," he mildly comments as he moves to somewhere near the middle of the first row. He sits down and gives an unassuming grin to his friend, who makes a face. "You're one of those people? Haven't you heard of the same seats code of conduct? You fed me some crap about curling L's when really it's your fault the balloon trick wouldn't have worked," Hyukjae jokes in that way where he's completely serious but is phrasing it with humour.

Ryeowook feels a genuine, fond grin spread across his face before he can help it, and he quickly ducks his head. "Why are we here, again?" he asks instead of dwelling on the validating comfort of being known.

"Why not?" Hyukjae asks as he moves to sit down. "This is the place it all began, right? Might as well."

Ryeowook, for his part, only stares.

Hyukjae went up to a seat in the rear right quadrant of the lecture hall. Ryeowok's own, real seat is directly in front of where the other is sitting. That can't be a coincidence.

"Um, I'm guessing that's where you sit?" he asks as casually as possible.

"Huh? Oh! Haha, yeah. It's funny, I didn't even think of sitting anywhere else. My feet just automatically guided me here."

"So funny," Ryeowook squeaks out.

"Yeah, my friend in the class actually used to sit with me, but it became very apparent very quickly that we would never get anything done if we did, so he moved down there." Hyukjae points with his foot to Ryeowook's seat, and Ryeowook's breath hitches in his throat. "Sometimes when I'm bored, I just can't help but throw stuff onto his desk just to annoy him." Hyukjae mimes a free throw shot towards the desk and smiles.

Well, if there were any doubt before in Ryeowook's mind that Hyukjae was Poem Person, it has summarily been erased.

Ryeowook hums but says nothing else, letting a companionable silence stretch between them as he acknowledges the warmth that settles into his chest when he confirms with himself that yes, he is glad that Hyukjae is Poem Person.

"Why are you helping me?" he asks, curious and without judgement. The abrupt question startles the other out of whatever reverie he had settled into during their respite, but Hyukjae bounces back quickly, as he always does.

"You know, I had to figure that answer out myself," Hyukjae answers with a laugh. He leans back in his chair with his hands folded behind his head, staring out at the empty lecture hall. "I told you I would at first because it was obvious that I was the only one in a position to actually help. It wasn't even an option in my mind that I wouldn't… But even after my sense of obligation ran out, I wanted to keep going.

"You're cool, Ryeowook. You're fun to be around, you're sassy, you're down to try anything once. You're totally comfortable being yourself, and your 'self' is crazy. Like, who else trusts in their gut enough that this person you're chasing after is worth the effort? Who else would go to the lengths to which you're willing to go just to meet him? Honestly, I think that's pretty awesome. I don't know if I could have that same confidence you do."

He tilts his head towards Ryeowook then and gives a close-lipped, self-convinced smile. "If anyone's gonna find love based on a few scraps of paper and a dream, it's gonna be you."

Ryeowook nods mutely. He hopes the distance between them is enough to disguise the blush on his cheeks.

Hyukjae faces forward again. "If I think about it, I guess I'm being selfish, too. I want to believe a love like that is possible; and if I help you find him, I'll get to see it happen for myself… I really hope this guy is worth it, Ryeowook. I think it would break my heart as much as yours if he weren't."

He is, though. He's so worth it. "Me too."

~Longing is a beautiful pain I thought I could endure.~

Ryeowook walks out of the campus mail room, and life couldn't get better.

He just picked up a care package his mom sent him; he got a 94 on his last Nutrition Essentials quiz; and Hyukjae loves the new low-fat, protein-enhanced strawberry scones recipe he tried out yesterday.

Speaking of whom, he thinks this whole Poem Person plot is going to wrap up soon. The last time they must have actually worked on a strategy to find out who Poem Person was, like, two weeks ago at least; and Ryeowook's glad he can stop pretending he has any interest anymore.

Their friendship has wholly evolved beyond the point of needing a project to work on in order to spend time with each other anyway. Why pine after a fictitious man when he has a whole Hyukjae right there, who buys him coffee lattes simply because he's Hyukjae's dongsaeng and who helps him study for his quizzes even when Hyukjae himself is stressed.

Ryeowook tells himself that with some more time, the whole mystery will just fade into an inside joke between the two of them, a white whale they can reminisce about when they're sipping soju and reminiscing… preferably cuddled on a couch and with his head on Hyukaje's shoulder.

However, his friend group did not get the memo.

"So, uh. What happened to Poem Person?" Henry asks one weekend while everyone is at Ryeo-Mi's apartment.

"Shut up!" Kyuhyun admonishes with a slap to the back of Henry's head. "Ryeowook hasn't annoyed us with that in weeks. Aren't you grateful?!"

"I actually am very curious about what happened there. Weren't you and Hyukjae supposed to find him together?" Yesung asks.

"The gen—" "Maybe I'm manifesting, Mi! Ever think of that?"

Ryeowook cuts in before Mi's feelings get even more hurt. "Yeah, we were, but honestly I've kinda given up on the whole thing."

He expects some shock, but he couldn't have predicted who would be the most affected. "You're just gonna give up on finding love!?" Mi despairs.

"Actually, the potential for a romantic relationship was never confirmed," Henry quips. Yesung gives Henry a high-five.

"It was just a little crush," Ryeowook defends. "I've moved past it, as I was bound to do eventually." He says this last part to Kyuhyun, who he knows was the most annoyed with his actions back then.

"'Eventually' doesn't end in time for finals week, Wook," Kyuhyun retorts.

"Well, now you never have to worry about it, Hyun."

"Is love dead?" Mi desponds aloud, but no one pays him any mind.

Ryeowook pats his roommate's shoulders in a half-hearted attempt at consolation. If Mi turns out to be the only casualty in this whole ordeal, Ryeowook will count this as a win.

What he doesn't count on is the fact that Hyukjae would invariably hear about it.

"Is it true?" Hyukjae corners him after Ryeowook picks up his order from the on-campus cafe.

"You know, I don't think so. I think she's just Henry's accompanist for rehearsals," Ryeowook responds genuinely, certain that the latest gossip about Henry's potentially secret girlfriend is what Hyukjae must have been referring to.

"What? No!" Hyukjae stops in confusion but stomps after Ryeowook once he gets his bearings back. "No, I heard that you gave up on finding him, that you gave up a while ago. Is it true?"

Ryeowook hesitates to sit down at the open table he found, and Hyukjae's entire posture seizes in betrayal. "Alright, got it," Hyukjae says with an edge to his tone. "Do me a favour, yeah? Never talk to me ever again."

"Wait!" Ryeowook calls once Hyukjae turns on his heel and storms off. "Hyukjae, wait!" He pays no mind to the fact that he's abandoning his belongings as he chases Hyukjae outside. "I get that you're angry, but don't you think this is a little much?"

He reaches out for Hyukjae's upper arm, but the other immediately shrugs it off. Ryeowook flinches and retreats slightly. Despite the other's obvious fury, Hyukjae is stopped in place and seems willing to actually talk to him, and Ryeowook holds onto that hope instead.

"No, actually," Hyukjae sneers. "I think this is the perfect amount of much when you find out your best friend has been wasting your time for who knows how long!"

Of all the things Hyukjae could have said in that moment, Ryeowook didn't expect that reaction at all. It stings more than he expects, cuts through his defensiveness; and despite his position in the situation, he can't help but need comfort. "What do you mean?" he asks in a confused, desperate voice.

"What do I mean?" Hyukjae repeats exasperatedly. "Ryeowook, we spent weeks together trying to figure out how to get you your dream guy! We never even got anywhere, and, and… And it's all because of you! You shot down basically every one of my ideas practically from the beginning, even after I told you how much it would personally mean to me. That is, like, the textbook definition of a waste of time!"

"You weren't having fun?"

"What?" Hyukjae demands incredulously.

"All that time we spent together," Ryeowook clarifies as he steadfastly meets Hyukjae's angry gaze. "You didn't have fun?"

Hyukjae is silent, and his body posture screams obstinate defiance, but his eyes remain trained on Ryeowook.

"You didn't come to look forward to spending time with me? You didn't spend your free time thinking of ways to make me laugh?"

Hyukjae rolls his eyes. "So what? What does any of that mean when you were just stringing me along? You… you weren't even using me!?" he exclaims, voice rising in a hysterical question. "That was literally the whole basis of our friendship, and you couldn't even do that? Like, what could you have possibly gained from lying to my face like that for all this time?"

Ryeowook gives a watery smile at the non-answer and looks down at his fingers fidgeting together. "I did, too," he says in a voice so quiet it was like he intended to keep that to himself.

It's silent for a long time after that admission. Hyukjae's lividness has dissipated, and he is only left with a disappointment so painful he doesn't want to dwell on it any further. He moves to leave Ryeowook alone outside of the cafe, but Ryeowook's voice stops him.

"W-What did you say?" Hyukjae asks with apprehension.

Ryeowook ignores the tears falling from his eyes as he repeats himself. "I'm in a rush to catch you, but you're in a hurry to leave. Should I just surrender? Now we're like an old and worn notebook filled with scribbles."

Hyukjae simply stares, and Ryeowook takes that as his cue to keep going. "Take your beautiful smile with you. Don't leave it here. You saw me with tears in my eyes."

By heart,

"I was a selfish man, but my life is divided into before and after I knew you."

Ryeowook recites lyric,

"When I first saw you, it felt like a miracle."

after lyric,

"I'm thinking of you more today. I wonder how tomorrow morning will be. Will I miss you more than I do today?"

after lyric;

"I'm honest because I don't know lies before love."

and before he knows it,

"I'd place my feelings on the thawing snow. I'd hang my wish on a disappearing star, but only if you ask me to."

Hyukjae is within arm's reach.

"It's me?" Hyukjae whispers into the scant centimetres between them. "It's really me?" he asks again when Ryeowook had simply nodded.

Ryeowook can't even help it when he recites, "Even when you ask me again, for me, it's only you." with a breathy laugh as he shyly looks away.

Hyukjae moves to gently hold Ryeowook's hand. "And you're okay with that?"

Ryeowook wants to laugh and melt and cry and run away, but instead he settles for an earnest nod and a hesitant smile. "Are you?"

Hyukjae answers him with a kiss, and it feels like a dazzling melody.

~Together, we can make all our unfulfilled dreams come true.~

#super junior #super junior fanfiction #eunwook #eunhyuk #ryeowook #jaso*#iwrew

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fmdjaewonarchive · 4 years

Text

► agree.

date(s): july 2020 - february 2021 mentions of: champion members, unity members (samsoo, yul & sunghee mentioned by name but like... blink and you’ll miss it) word count: +/- 2.3k words (870w lyrics/660 words composition/740 words production) warnings: mentions of anxiety, panic attacks and car accidents details: full lyrics and full composition verification for agree, 3/3 verifications for jaewon’s upcoming album escapism. jaewon doesn’t only know how to write sad boi music, he also writes angry boi music, the only two emotions he’s ever experienced rlly. (a/n: i lost my braincells within the first 100 words and still haven’t retrieved them, read at your own discretion)

the song is born out of frustration, anger blocking up his throat to the point it feels hard to breathe.

it’s the kick-off point of champion’s world tour, a concept that has jaewon disgruntled enough as it is, snatching him away from unity and dropping him in the states like he is supposed to care about this group, like he doesn’t have better things to worry about.

but alas that’s beside his point, as much as he detests the idea behind champion, it’s not his main source of frustration.

traveling out to the states, that part is hell. now jaewon has never been a huge fan of traveling, suffering from a crippling fear of flying ever since predebut that somehow has not gotten any less severe with the sheer amount of flying all over the place unity has been doing. jaewon also absolutely hates airports, they’re too crowded, too hectic and far too stressful to not immediately put him in a godawful mood.

the cameras shoved right into his face both prior to departure and directly after arrival definitely didn't help.

comparatively, champion’s trip to the states this time hadn’t been that bad. jaewon just happens to be in an extra foul mood today but rationally, he has to admit that he’s seen far worse throughout the years.

but maybe that’s exactly the problem, how common these things have become, that getting pushed and pulled at while trying to get on flight was considered to be mild.

jaewon’s frustration isn’t solely aimed at an isolated instance, it’s at the ridiculous standard that’s been set for idols, the things they have to accept like they are normal.

normally he would call soo to complain about whatever was bothering him but with the time difference, jaewon knew his boyfriend was ought to be asleep at this hour and he definitely wasn’t waking him up for something this minor.

he even humors the thought of perhaps finding sunghee or yul to complain to but with most of champion out for the night doing whatever (admittedly, jaewon didn’t listen when they were making plans, he wasn’t gonna tag along anyway) that isn’t really in the cards either. perhaps that’s for the best, jaewon isn’t the biggest fan of actually talking to the younger unity members about what was on his mind.

either way, jaewon is stuck in a hotelroom by himself, no one around to really vent his frustration too so instead, he might just as well write it all down.

and that’s exactly what he does, settling down at the desk in his hotelroom, scribbling on a notepad randomly found laying around.

on the plane the person in the seat next to me that’s not my fan apparently buying info off the airplane company

it’s not entirely relevant to what happened at the airport earlier but jaewon feels angry all over just thinking about it. unity has had it’s fair share of experiences with saesangs, seemingly only increasing the more popular they keep getting. sure, that makes sense but it doesn’t mean it’s okay, contrary to what dimensions seem to believe with how easily the company brushes it off under the pretense of it just being another part of the job.

at the airplane lounge there’s a war between the 200 mm guns privacy, panic disorder, they barter with one another...

in the first place, jaewon’s main concern is unity, it always is. he’s willing to put up with a lot if it means the younger members are left off the hook. but he has to admit, since the panic attacks have started to become more prevalent, it’s a lot harder to take that stance. it’s hard to take care of others when he fails to take care of himself.

jaewon tries not to think about what that means for his position as a leader.

from early morning put on a mask and fight on in short, call it being a puppet...

jaewon knows he’s not an ideal idol, he’s never been and he never will be. maybe in retrospect, he would have done things differently but there is no use in considering those what-ifs now. there is, however, no denying that all of it is just a bigger struggle with him, it will never go as easily as with people who were made to stand in front of the camera’s. why shouldn’t he get to be open and honest about that? he’s not the perfect idol they want him to be, he will never fit that mold.

i know, that’s right that’s right that’s right that’s right that’s right that’s right i know that’s right that’s right that’s right

written out, the chorus feels a bit silly, but jaewon feels justified in his creative choices. not that the song is ever going to be used for anything, it’s just an attest to his frustration. jaewon knows he’s ought to sit down and silently accept whatever is expected of him.

it’s been years since he’s been his own person. these days, he’s dimensions’ property first and that of the general public second, there is no use in fighting that, no space for his voice.

so sure, whatever, he agrees, what else can he do?

---------------

jaewon forgets about the lyrics he’s written down after that.

in the moment there had been no intention to turn them into a full-fledged song, a haphazard combination of lyrics that in their raw form, probably held very little meaning, too much filler between the few parts that he did properly think through.

so jaewon forgets all about it before he even sets foot back in korea again. unity is busy enough, the release of neo zone lurking around the corner and with multiple schedules of his own, jaewon can’t even think about the song if he wants to.

it only comes drifting back into his consciousness at least a month of two having passed since champion’s american tour dates.

the day in itself isn’t anything special, if there is anything remarkable about it it’s the fact jaewon isn’t working for once. he’s just hanging around his and samsoo’s apartment, scrolling through whatever app on his phone keeps his attention for long enough.

until an article pops up.

it’s a news post about a rookie group he’s never heard of from a company he doesn’t know the name of, it has nothing to do with him, but he finds himself reading through it anyway. apparently, they got into an accident on their way home from schedules as they were being followed by saesangs. no one got injured and truly, it’s not the first time jaewon has read news like this but it does fill him with the same sense of anger as what he had experienced that first day in the states with champion.

because this type of news shouldn’t be common, for how long are people gonna pretend it is?

maybe he should finish that damn song.

wait does he even still have the lyrics?

jaewon vaguely remembers at the very least putting the sheet of paper in his backpack after the concert as he had been packing up to move to the next city of their tour but after that, he can’t say he recalls having seen it lay around.

he’s really ought to get more orderly with his drafts.

luckily for him, jaewon does find the sheet of paper, not in his bag but shoved in between the pages of a notebook and with the draft of his lyrics obtained he makes a beeline for his home studio. normally he’d do this stuff at the company headquarters but truly, that sounds like far too much work in the moment.

obviously, the song is meant to have an angry undertone to it, supposed to convey the same anger and frustration that swallowed jaewon whole as he had written the lyrics.

the deep, resonating boom of low brass sounds for the opening of the song are a no brainer, the sound gives a bombastic, ominous vibe, immediately setting the song off on the right note. it’s supposed to sound grande and honestly a little bit intimidating, a dark feeling creeping around the corners.

of course, the sound is far too theatrical to be underlaying to the entire song so jaewon alternates it with a deep, booming bassline, the brass only reappearing right before the chorus other than in the opening section as if to give off a warning. to fill up the verses and the parts in between, jaewon adds rumbling, deep drums in the background, making them feel less empty.

what really makes the song however is the rapidly-cycling electronic stuttering a rhythmic pattern across almost all parts of the song. it feels a little distracting at first before jaewon decides that really, that’s exactly what he’s going for. the melody feels just a little too fast, uncomfortably so and in a song reflecting so much stress and strain, that only feels fair, reflectives of the way his chest tightens up when he can’t breathe, when his hands tremble and his heart beats so fast it might as well make him sick.

jaewon thinks it conveys his frustrations pretty damn well.

---------------

it doesn’t seem in the books for the song to ever be released until the process of selecting songs for escapism comes along. while jaewon regains some of his creative freedom, most of it had been under dimensions terms, leaving it up to them to shape the album in a way they prefer over his creative vision.

until somewhere near the end of completing the track list, the head producer asks jaewon if he has any songs laying around that could fit in with the rest of the album.

‘agree’ is the first thing to come to mind.

the head producer seems to like the songs, enough to approve it at least and jaewon can’t help but feel a flare of pride. the producer seems intent on leaving the creative process in his hands, letting him handle the production.

it makes ‘agree’ the first song ever that’s entirely his own that he gets to release, it feels like a milestone to jaewon.

he does get a little list of suggestions, mainly pertaining to the lyrics. the producer leaves a few remarks here and there about where lines could be stronger, what he would do differently but all of it are very loose recommendations, jaewon isn’t actually under an obligation to do anything with them.

in the end, he does anyway, shuffles some lyrics around, dares to be a bit more assertive in his wording, right onto the border of what he would consider too gloat-y for himself. but the producer is right, it gets to pack a punch, it gets to be a little bit self-important. somehow having the external confirmation makes it easier to write those lyrics without feeling like a fraud. it’s still his, his writing, his song.

with the last tweaks done they’re quick to get to recording. they’re still on a time crunch as jaewon’s manager reminds him (jaewon likes the man well enough but dear lord would he never let him forget). it's one of the last songs on the album to be recorded after all and at this point, they are cutting it close.

with everything else he needs done, all jaewon has left to do is fine tune the song, the last tweaks and sounds to be added like missing puzzle pieces now he has the bigger picture pretty much laid out in front of him, polishing and detailing it to elevate the song worth of something to be released on an album.

the instrumental is already pretty hectic, fully intentional of course, but with a proper, clear recording it’s easier to spot the empty gaps, spaces to add the last finishing touches. he adds more brass, less grande and dramatic than the ones in the pre-chorus, curling around the edges of the chorus to round them up neatly and as if to scale down again for the verses, still fast paced but somewhat a breath of fresh air between one chorus and the other.

he delays the part at the opening before the brass and bass kick in, a silence before the storm feels even if the hyperactive stuttering beat is already there, he considers taking that out at first too but the point kind of is that it is more or less omnipresent, it’s always there even when there is nothing else much, like the anxiety that feels permanently stuck to his head.

there is also the addition of an extra melodic line, lingering behind that main, slightly headache inducing electronic synth. it doesn’t really stand out, especially not compared to it’s main competitor but it does remain prevalent in the few parts the main instrumental motif is nowhere to be found, giving it small moments to shine. it serves a clear function, or to jaewon listening ear at least (maybe he’s overanalyzing at this point). the little bounces of the electronic beat all over the place keep up the pace of the song, making sure its explosive nature prevails over the dark dreary undertones of the bassline and brass sections, giving it an overall dynamic feel.

it takes some fiddling, jaewon pulls something close to an all-nighter to finish up the song with the sheer amount of detail he ends up focussing on but by the time he sends it in, he has a good feeling about it at least.

when he presents the final product to the head producer, there are no more suggestions. it’s good, and it’s all his own work.

#fmdverification #*:･ﾟ♛– «filled with all these empty moments» // solos.#«escapism // era.»#//SCREAMS INTO THE VOID #//finally... im freed from verification hell #panic attack tw #anxiety tw #car crash tw

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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Hi!! So I took a small class tonight about tarot cards and I’m SO EXCITED to start! Do you have any advice for somebody just starting out?

oh thats so cool, i’m excited for you! what sort of stuff did the class cover?

I’ve got 4 main points of advice but i’ve broken them down into smaller sections based on what i’ve used and what i’ve seen others talk about. Take what you feel works, ignore what you think won’t help or what sounds dumb or whatever. There are so many ways to approach tarot and what worked for me won’t necessarily work for you so test things out and play around with it. If you have any more questions about things i haven’t covered or if you want me to elaborate on anything or link some more resources please let me know!

Tip 1: Get a deck.

obvious place to start but having the cards is an easy first step lmao. there are also apps available if you can’t get a physical copy but being able to shuffle a physical decks will probably help you connect to it better.

I recommend something based on the Rider Waite Smith imagery because so much of the images inform the meanings of the cards and will help you learn - there are tonnes of different RWS decks out there, This one is quite bright, This one is a bit more muted in colour, This one has redone the art so it’s in the art nouveau style while keeping the RWS images, This one has modernised it so it’s not just white men on most of the cards

If you want some more suggestions for good decks for beginners I recommend watching THIS video or looking around youtube. Tarot readers/cardslingers/whatever you want to call them like showing off their collections. There are so many videos of people talking about which decks they own and showing off what the cards look like (even i made one lmao) so it’s a great way to get an idea of what a deck looks like and the size of the cards or even the weight of the cardstock they’re made with, even if you can’t physically touch them.

But the easiest way is to find a deck in your local bookstore and see how it feels for you. You want something you enjoy looking at, and that resonates for you because you’ll be able to connect with it easier

After that you can branch out if you want. Some readers only have one deck that they do everything with, others collect decks like people collect coins. Personally I like using different decks for different questions but a solid RWS deck will work for anything so if that’s all you feel you need then that’s cool too.

Tip 2: Start a Tarot Journal

this is what i did when i started. I bought a cheap notebook from the newsagency on my way to work and I dedicated 2 pages to every card. I titled them and then wrote down what the little white books that came with the decks i had said about each card as well as made notes on what imagery/symbolism was on each card. As I’ve learnt more I’ve added to these pages, observances i’ve made about when the cards are likely to appear, things i’ve seen other readers comment on (like someone i follow refers to the 5 of cups (i think) as the unrequited love card), relations to astrology, anything interesting i’ve read about the cards that i didn’t already have written down.

At the back end of the notebook I write down results for interviews i do with new decks

and i also have a section for particular spreads i like after all of the individual card pages but there are so many things you can write about in tarot journals.

i’ve seen some people do a daily card draw in the morning and write what the card could be referring to and then at the end of the day they write about what happened and how it related to the cards

I’ve seen others that try to relate song lyrics or movie quotes to each card to help them remember what the card means.

if you look for ideas on google or youtube i’m sure you’ll find examples of what people do with tarot journals.

Tip 3: Seek out info from other readers

One way to do this is books. There are so many book out there, especially for beginners, that talk about advice for reading cards, ways to help you learn the meanings, spreads that come in handy, etc. I read a book called Kitchen Table Tarot by Melissa Cynova when i was first learning and found it really helpful. But there are heaps of others out there too. Most bookstores will have a “new age” section so browse around and see if theres something you like the look of. Same goes for libraries. Or places like audible if you like audio books.

Podcasts are also a thing. I don’t have any specific recommendations but i’ve come across references to witchy podcasts so I’m sure there’d be something tarot specific out there.

Youtube is also brilliant. I love watching pick a card reading videos. It’s a really easy way to see how other readers interpret cards, what sort of systems they use. I like Siren Tarot and Charmed Intuition Tarot. They both read very differently. Siren uses multiple tarot decks in rows to figure out the story. Charmed is more likely to combine her tarot cards with oracle cards and she reads charms as well and sometimes uses a pendulum.

There’s also a witchy community on tumblr as well, so have a look around, maybe follow some people or lurk in tags.

Tip 4: Practice.

Read for yourself, asking different questions. Love life, career, friendship, family relationships, goals you have, whatever comes to mind. Do daily/weekly/monthly readings for yourself. Get a feel for how the cards operate. Start with one card, learn how to interpret it, what it might mean in relation to your question. Then add another couple of cards, see how the meaning gets clarified by what appears around it. Make notes as you go. This is where a journal comes in handy because if you write down what cards come up and what happens on those days you can start seeing patterns and that helps you understand the cards better next time they come up.

Read for others too. People you trust that you feel won’t make fun of you learning tarot or won’t talk shit about it. Close friends, family. Or, if you don’t have anyone irl, do what I did and let people ask for readings online. Start a specific blog for it if you want. It’s good if you know them irl because you can easily ask them how things turned out, see if you were on the money or if your interpretation was off then you can go back to what was drawn for them and see how it connects, if it does at all.

Don’t be afraid to read cards with the guidebook in your hand. That’s what they’re there for, to help you understand the cards. You can often get a sense of the card, if it’s positive or negative and what its meaning is, by looking at the imagery but use the books for as long as you need!

Create your own rituals around your cards. Some guides will tell you to sleep with your deck under your pillow or beside your bed so you can connect with it as you sleep, some will tell you to cleanse your deck in sunshine or moonlight or with smoke from a candle or by placing a specific type of crystal on top of it. Figure out what works for you. Cleansing can come in handy, especially if you do something that’s emotionally heavy, being able to clear that energy from your deck will give you better results in the next reading but if letting your deck sit in the moonlight sounds kinda crazy to you don’t do it. Personally, when i’m getting ready to do readings I light a candle and make a cup of tea or coffee. I’ll knock on the deck to wake it up and maybe pass it over the top of the candle if I feel like it. It’s about making a space you feel comfortable in.

Don’t read when you’re emotionally compromised. If you’re completely distressed and having the worst week of your life your results aren’t going to be as clear or accurate as if you’re in a more stable frame of mind. It’s why a lot of people like to meditate for a bit before they do readings. It lets them centre themselves and focus their energy on the cards.

Don’t be afraid of your intuition. If you draw a card and a phrase pops into your mind, include it in your reading. If you see something on the card, even if it’s a small image, and you feel like it’s important, mention it or note it down or whatever. It might seem like it comes from out of nowhere but it’s your intuition picking up on something small you might not even realise you’ve noticed.

#this got a little long oops #i just had a lot to say #and i've probably forgotten stuff lmao #i'm also going to start tagging this stuff as #tarot advice #so ya'll should be able to find it easily #if you ever want to #seriously tho #please feel free to come back and ask more questions or tell me if you try any of these and they work for you #i love the idea of helping baby tarot readers find their feet!#even if i'[d still class myself as a baby reader lmao #Anonymous

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azozzoni · 5 years

Text

Anon: can you write something about dutch!even and Lucas first kiss?

- These are just headcanons since, well, there is no Even yet.

Lucas’ phone buzzes with texts, messages from his friends asking why he’s not at the party yet, messages from the girl he just left at the coffee shop. All it took was one of those soft, mischievous smiles of Bastiaan’s, and Lucas would have followed him anywhere.

He doesn’t think about what that means, that it was so easy to sneak out while the girls were in the bathroom, that he doesn’t even feel bad about it as he follows Bastiaan down dark streets, not sure where they’re going, not really caring.

Ever since he bumped into Bastiaan on the stairs that day, it’s like everything has changed. Lucas can’t quite put his finger on it, but everything feels different.

“Come on,” Bastiaan says, turning back to grin at Lucas, and Lucas feels his heart skip a beat at something so simple.

“Where are we?” Lucas asks, gazing up at the dark building tucked down one of the many narrow alleys in the city.

“Come on and you’ll see,” Bastiaan replies, quirking his eyebrows, dark curls falling over his forehead as he holds out a hand to Lucas.

For a second, Lucas hesitates. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to go with Bastiaan. He wants so badly to follow him, to forget about the messages piling up on his phone, to believe he hasn’t been reading into this too much.

When he doesn’t respond, Bastiaan’s hand drops a little and he bites his lip, head tilted to the side. “Scared we’ll get in trouble?”

“Fuck you,” Lucas says easily, breaking into a smile, his hesitation disappearing at Bastiaan’s grin. His hand tingles when Bastiaan’s wraps around it, and Bastiaan’s laugh echoes in his ears.

Bastiaan drops his hand as they reach a door bathed in shadow, and Lucas almost wishes he hadn’t, but he doesn’t say it.

The door handle jiggles when Bastiaan tries it, and he pauses to glance down the alley before giving the door a shove. There’s a scrape and a crunch but the door swings inward and Bastiaan grins at Lucas.

“We’re definitely breaking in here,” Lucas says, but he doesn’t stop Bastiaan from pulling him inside.

“Hey, they should fix the lock if they don’t want people sneaking in,” he says, shutting the door behind Lucas and they’re thrust into darkness.

For a second, Lucas feels blind, and he can’t tell where Bastiaan is.

“Bas?” he asks, blinking in the darkness, nerves rising on his skin as he glances around.

“Come on.” Bastiaan’s voice is so close, quiet in Lucas’ ear, and Lucas feels Bastiaan’s hand sneaking down to his wrist, long fingers wrapping around it, tugging him forward.

Lucas wouldn’t stop Bastiaan even if he wanted to, letting him lead them out of the darkness.

He’s never let anyone do this, given himself over so easily to someone else. It’s been like that since the first time Lucas saw him, as if Bastiaan was someone he’d been waiting for.

Lucas has tried. He’s tried to ignore these feelings, first for Kes and now Bastiaan, growing stronger by the minute as they step into a dimly lit room filled with what looks like speakers, sound mixers, and other things Lucas doesn’t recognize. He’s tried to pretend it’s just curiosity, pretend he only joined Grindr to see if he really is interested.

It has all seemed so hard, though, actually meeting up with the guys who message him. Anxiety always lodges in his throat and he doesn’t know how many times he’s deleted and redownloaded the app.

With Bastiaan, it’s not like that. There’s no anxiety, just a hum of something lighter deep inside him.

Bastiaan grins at him, dropping Lucas’ wrist, stepping away, toward a long, heavy curtain where he pauses. “Are you scared yet?”

“Only that your idea of fun needs some work.”

“You’re not having fun?” Bastiaan asks, as though he knows the answer, eyes shining, mouth curled into a knowing smile. “Maybe you should go back to the party.”

“Yeah, right,” Lucas says as Bastiaan grins. He’d rather be here with Bastiaan than anywhere else, even if he wouldn’t admit that.

“No one’s making you stay,” Bastiaan says easily, stepping beyond the curtain and disappearing.

He has a point. No one is making Lucas follow Bastiaan, shove aside the heavy velvet curtain and step onto an expansive stage. Hundreds of identical seats face him, dotted in rows, dim in the distant lights, and Lucas stares out at the rows, the cavernous ceiling, the heavy lights hanging from the ceiling pointing at the stage.

“It’s a concert hall,” Lucas says, turning to Bastiaan.

Bastiaan shrugs, leaning against the baby grand piano behind him. “My mom used to take me to concerts here, and I always hoped one day I might get to play it.”

“With one of your songs?” Lucas hasn’t heard any of the songs Bastiaan has written, but he knows he has an entire notebook full of them, some set to music, some just scribbled out lyrics in Bastiaan’s big, loopy handwriting.

Bastiaan smiles, stepping up to Lucas, and Lucas swears he feels the air shift around them.

“Maybe someday,” Bastiaan replies, meeting Lucas’ gaze, hazel eyes dark. “What about you? Are you hiding any musical talents?”

Lucas laughs, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t want to show you up,” he says, and Bastiaan tilts his head to the side.

“You’re that good, huh?” he asks, teasingly. “I can take it.”

Lucas laughs, doesn’t protest as Bastiaan turns to the piano and slides back the cover.

“Just remember you asked for this,” he says as he sits down next to Bastiaan. They’re close enough that he can feel the warmth of Bastiaan’s hip against his own, feel Bastiaan’s arm brushing against his, and he should be more nervous than he is with Bastiaan so close, Bastiaan’s gaze intense as he runs his fingers over the keys.

Bastiaan doesn’t reply, waiting for Lucas to play.

The melody Lucas plucks out makes Bastiaan immediately laugh, over the fumbling rendition of Drie kleine kleutertjes, the only song he knows how to play and one of the few he remembers from childhood.

“You really aim to impress,” Bastiaan says, pulling Lucas’ fingers away from the keys despite Lucas’ protest.

“I hadn’t finished.”

“I’m sorry, maestro,” Bastiaan says, gaze soft in a way that makes Lucas’ heart melt. “But it was just too good to listen to. It deserves a grand piano, not a baby grand.”

Rolling his eyes, Lucas can’t bring himself to be offended. “Okay, then what’s appropriate for a baby grand?”

“Here,” Bastiaan says, taking Lucas’ hands and positioning them over the keys, glancing at Lucas for a second, up to his eyes, the smile at his lips. “Let me show you.”

Lucas isn’t really paying attention to the notes Bastiaan is pressing, fingers covering his own, and the contrast of their skin distracts him, Bastiaan’s slender fingers against his, the way Bastiaan’s thumb brushes against his wrist and Lucas shivers.

The air is thick around them, their hands casting shadows over the keys, and Lucas can feel Bastiaan’s shoulder pressed to his, warm and easy, as if they’ve been doing this their whole lives.

“See, that’s not fair,” Lucas says when Bastiaan moves his hands and goes into a complicated but beautiful melody that surrounds them.

“Life isn’t fair,” Bastiaan replies, cheeky, grinning at Lucas now, not even looking at the keys as he plays.

Shaking his head, Lucas can’t help smiling. How Bastiaan can be so charming and so talented at the same time, he’ll never know. “Bastard.”

Bastiaan doesn’t miss a note, arching his eyebrows at Lucas before turning back to the keys. “You shouldn’t distract a musician, you know.”

“Let me try again,” Lucas says, reaching for Bastiaan’s hands, and Bastiaan lets him pull them away.

Bastiaan’s eyebrows go up. “Going to impress me properly?”

“Maybe,” Lucas says, but when he starts to play his simple melody again, Bastiaan doesn’t laugh, sitting quietly and watching Lucas concentrate on the notes. He’s not a great piano player, not like Bastiaan, who plays every instrument under the sun, but he can play this song, as long as he’s not distracted. “See?” he says, glancing at Bastiaan as he plucks out the notes, a smile curving his lips. “Are you impressed ye—”

Lucas doesn’t finish his question, not when Bastiaan leans in, closing the short distance between them and kissing him, lips pressed softly against Lucas’.

The hall falls silent except for his own heartbeat as Lucas’ brain rushes to process what’s happening. It only lasts a second, but it feels like a lifetime. Bastiaan’s lips are soft, slightly chapped, and Lucas doesn’t even know what to do when Bastiaan pulls back after a second.

It feels like everything has been leading up to this, from that first meeting on the stairs to that first time Lucas had spent hours alone with Bastiaan at his house, talking about music and movies and everything and nothing at the same time.

“You shouldn’t distract a musician,” Lucas says, lifting his gaze to Bastiaan’s, willing to hope, willing to give into to the warmth bursting through his chest, and it’s there when he looks, bright and shining and filled with happiness as Bastiaan grins, and Lucas isn’t sure who moves first this time.

He’s never kissed a guy, but he’s kissed plenty of girls and not once did it feel anything like this as Lucas pushes his fingers into Bastiaan’s soft, dark curls and opens his mouth to Bastiaan’s. It feels right, like puzzle pieces falling into place, like everything has always been leading to this, to this moment when Lucas can only concentrate on the butterflies in his stomach, the shiver down his spine, the way Bastiaan kisses him like maybe he’s been waiting for this too.

For the first time in his life, Lucas isn’t thinking about why he’s kissing someone, who exactly he’s trying to convince. He wants this. He’s wanted it for longer than he’s even known, long before he met Bastiaan and fell for those beautifully dark eyes, golden and green and soft in a way that makes Lucas feel like this could be real.

This is it, he thinks as Bastiaan’s hands grip his neck, gentle fingers tilting his chin upward, into the kiss, into the slide of their lips together. This is what he’s been waiting for, even if he didn’t know it.

He doesn’t want it to end, this moment, sitting on the tiny piano bench, falling so easily into Bastiaan’s arms, the way Bastiaan tilts his head into the kiss, laughs at Lucas fumbling to pull him closer. It’s all the happiness he’s been missing, soft and warm and all-encompassing as they sit in the dark hall. He can’t even begin to describe the way his heart blooms in his chest, the feeling welling up inside him as he smiles against Bastiaan’s lips.

Light floods the stage and Lucas jerks back to blink, blinded, as a voice booms from the back of the theater.

“Hey! How’d you get in here?!”

Lucas can’t see the man at the top row of seats, but he doesn’t wait for his eyes to adjust, cursing as Bastiaan laughs and stumbles off the bench, pulling Lucas up.

They run from the stage, shoving aside the curtain, and Lucas doesn’t even care if they get caught, not when Bastiaan glances back, eyes bright, something unspoken passing between them as they reach the back door and yank it open. He doesn’t care about what that happens next as long as it’s with Bastiaan.

#skamnl #skam nl #lucas van der heijden #skam nl fic #lucas vdh #im worried we're gonna lose skamnl before this happens #my fic #nlau

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blurry-fics · 5 years

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December: Part One

Pairing: Previous Tyler Joseph x Reader, Unnamed OMC x Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of breakup, drunken behavior

Word Count: 1706

Request: do you think you could do something with tyler based on the song december by neck deep ??? same person who sent the december by neck deep request, could it have a happy ending ??? p.s just read all of promises and cried sksksks 🖤love your writing -Anon (just wanted to say thank you so much! i’m really glad you liked promises :) also i fell in love with this song, thank you for introducing it to me!!)

Author’s Note: This is the first part of a two-part miniseries! That wasn’t my original intention, but there were so many elements in the song that I wanted to include that it ended up being too long for a single fic. Also, I won’t be posting links to the song since Tumblr is weird about that kind of thing, but this is based on December by Neck Deep (a really good song!) I hope all of you like it :)

“Come on, please… pick up,” Tyler muttered.

He wished that he had brought a jacket with him when he went out to the bar. The mid-winter Ohio air was cold on his bare arms, and stumbling around plastered wasn’t really helping his mission of getting back to the apartment in a timely manner.

“Y/N,” he whined, staring down at his phone screen as if it would somehow make her pick up.

Her answering message played out into the quiet night.

“Hi, this is Y/N. I can’t come to the phone right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

He listened as Y/N giggled at something that he had said in the background of the message before the familiar voicemail tone sounded.

“Hi,” he murmured into the phone. “I know I’ve called a lot, but you haven’t picked up.”

Tyler was struggling to form words in his drunken state. Everything coming out of his mouth just felt wrong.

“I just wanted to tell you that I miss you. And I love you. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t say that.”

He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared down at the screen, squinting a little as he did so. His fingers looked a little bluer than normal. He wondered how long it had been since he left the bar.

“Um, sorry for calling,” he slurred. “Bye.”

He somehow managed to hit the end call button before slipping his phone back into his pocket. The street that he was on seemed unfamiliar and he had no idea where to go to get home.

His phone started to buzz in his pocket. Hoping it was Y/N, he quickly reached for it and answered. The idea of hearing her voice again was already making his heart flutter.

“Hello?”

“Where are you, man? My phone says you’re on the other side of town.”

“You’re not Y/N,” he sighed.

“No, I’m not,” Josh answered. “Are you drunk?”

He scoffed, “Hardly.”

“Just stay where you are, ok? I’m coming to get you.”

“Ok.”

It took Tyler a moment to register that Josh had ended the phone call. The world was spinning a bit more than it had been a moment ago, so he took a seat on the curb. A few flakes of snow were beginning to fall from the sky.

Josh pulled up against the curb some time later. Tyler wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there. Time didn’t really feel real to him right now. Josh parked the car and hopped out.

“What are you doing out here?” Josh asked, grabbing Tyler’s arm and pulling him up to a standing position.

“I was walking home.”

“Where’s your jacket?”

“Don’t have one.”

Josh sighed and pulled off his own sweatshirt. After a bit of struggle, he managed to get the sweatshirt over Tyler’s head. Tyler rolled his eyes, but the blue tint to his lips suggested that he was probably more thankful for the warmth than he let on.

“Let’s get you in the car.”

Josh looped an arm around Tyler’s waist and walked him over to the side of the car. He waited until Tyler was securely in the passenger seat and buckled up before he got into the driver’s seat himself.

“Do you want me to take you home or should I bring you to my house?”

“She doesn’t care about me, Josh,” Tyler whined as he leaned his head against the window. It was cold, but he didn’t care. “She just left me alone.”

“Come on, Tyler,” Josh said, giving his friend a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “You’re just drunk. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Yeah.”

But Tyler knew that wasn’t true.

* * *

The sunlight streaming in through the window woke you up on Saturday morning. Next to you, your boyfriend was still fast asleep, snoring softly. You took a moment to admire him before reaching for your phone and checking your notifications.

There were three voicemail notifications, all from Tyler. He had been calling you at least once a day for the last week, but you left every one of them unanswered. Tyler was a part of your past that you would rather not think about right now.

And yet, your curiosity was getting the better of you.

You slowly got out of bed and walked out into the living room of your little apartment. Your boyfriend’s cat was sitting on the windowsill, basking in the morning sunlight. He turned to look at you as you walked into the room.

“Good morning, Pudge,” you smiled at him.

You took a seat just below the window where the sunlight was pouring in. It was warm on your back, but you knew that it would be cold as soon as you walked outside. That was the weird thing about winter.

Your finger hovered over the voicemail for a moment as you debated whether you actually wanted to listen to what he had to say. For all you knew, he could be cussing you out and telling you how he had never loved you. Did you really want to risk ruining your memories of him with that?

You decided that your curiosity overcame your fear, so you hit the small play button next to the first message.

“Hey, Y/N. Um, I know you’re in an entirely different state now, but if you’re willing to talk about everything that happened, that would be nice. Uh, call me back… if you want. Bye.”

You couldn’t deny the way that your breath still caught when you heard him say your name. The decision to break up had been yours and you knew it had been the right call, but it didn’t mean that you no longer had a place for him in your heart.

You hit play on the second voicemail.

“Hi again. I hope you’re doing well in your new place. It’s really cold in Ohio today. Anyway, I’m getting off topic. I’d still like to talk, if you’re up for it. Thanks. Bye.”

His words had been a bit more slurred in the second message than the first one. You wondered if he had gone out; he had never been big on drinking while you were together, although he was known to do it from time to time. That would explain all the voicemails.

You listened to the last one.

“Hi. I know I’ve called a lot, but you haven’t picked up. I just wanted to tell you that I miss you. And I love you. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t say that. Um, sorry for calling. Bye.”

You pulled the phone away from your ear and stared at the screen for a moment. Tyler was definitely drunk, there was no denying that. You hit play and brought the phone back up to your ear, just to make sure that you had heard him correctly. There was no way that he could have meant what he said.

“Good morning,” your boyfriend smiled.

You looked up from your phone, hastily closing out of the phone app. He slowly walked over and took a seat next to you on the ground.

“What are you doing down here?”

“Just sitting in the sunlight and spending quality time with Pudge.”

He reached over and brushed a strand of your hair out of your face, “Your face is bright red.”

“Did you just expect to walk in here shirtless and not make me blush?”

He laughed quietly and leaned closer to you, “I suppose not.”

You pulled him closer so you could place a gentle kiss on his lips. He ran his hands through your hair and deepened the kiss, but you pulled away shortly after.

“Breakfast?” you smiled.

His smile faltered for a moment before he answered, “Sure.”

* * *

Tyler’s hands were wrapped tightly around his mug of coffee as he sat in the window seat, looking down at the street below. Y/N had always loved sitting at the window seat. She would call out different cars that she saw to Tyler as he sat in the office, practicing piano or ukulele. He had never understood her fascination with it.

Now that she was gone, it was all he seemed to do.

He wondered what Y/N was doing now that she was off in some other part of the country. They had spent countless nights talking about their plans for the future, mostly places they wanted to go and things they wanted to see. Y/N had always loved the idea of watching a sunset on the West Coast.

He wandered into the office and grabbed his notebook. There were so many thoughts bouncing around his head that he needed to write them down somewhere. If he was lucky, it might make a good song once his head was clearer and he could actually begin to piece together melodies.

Tyler found that his eyes kept wandering towards the cars that drove past below. There was something almost relaxing about watching them whizz past, going about their daily lives. He thought he might be beginning to understand why Y/N had liked it so much.

His mind began to wander back to the night of the breakup. Y/N had brought it up out of the blue right after they finished dinner. He had tried to get her to tell him why, but she wouldn’t. She eventually packed up all her things and left, leaving him frozen in place on the couch. He had spent the rest of the night thinking of countless things he had done wrong that might have made her leave.

When he went to see her a few days later, he was informed by her landlord that she had moved out and left the state. He had tried to get in touch with her since then, but she never answered his calls. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t seem to get over Y/N. All he needed was some way to get in contact with her.

“That’s it,” Tyler smiled, immediately turning back to his notebook and scribbling down some lyrics.

I wonder if you’ll ever hear this song on your stereo.

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fluentlanguage · 5 years

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How To Start Teaching Yourself a Language: 10 Simple Tips For Success in Language Learning

Do you dream of learning another language, but you’re not quite sure how to start?

Maybe you’ve recently downloaded your first language learning app, but you’re not quite sure how to go from screen to reality.

Or if you learnt a language in the past and want to refresh your skills, you’re wondering if the world has anything new to offer besides weekly evening classes at the community centre.

Congratulations to you! This is an exciting time. If you’re feeling curious but confused about how to teach yourself a language, this is the right article for you.

Today I have 10 simple tips that will make starting your new language a total success and help you stay motivated for many months and maybe even years. They’re perfect for beginners, or learners who need a fresh burst of inspiration.

Let’s get started:

1. Tidy Up Your Mind

Have you heard about the life changing magic of tidying up? I mean that Marie Kondo book and Netflix show. In Marie Kondo’s world, the simple act of letting go of your less exciting stuff is a way to improve ALL of your life. And that advice works for language learning too!

Before you saddle yourself with the new project of learning another language, it pays to tidy up your mind.

Start with a simple list, asking yourself: “What do I believe about my language learning abilities right now?”

Once all the beliefs are out on paper or screen, examine each one to find out which ones are actually useful to you. In Marie Kondo terms, find the ones that spark joy and throw out all the others. Your brain will be clutter-free and ready for a positive new start!

2. Write a Note for Future You

As you’re currently reading this article, you are probably excited and keen to jump into learning your new language. This is awesome! Let me ask you one more question:

What are your reasons for learning this language?

You have got to know your reasons and hold on to them, because the world is going to start getting distracting. Textbooks and evening classes make lots of assumptions about why you’re learning.

For example, if you’re truly in Japanese class because you love manga, you’ll soon get bored of a textbook for busy travellers. When that happens, it’s easy to assume that you have lost your love for everything in the language.

So make sure you are prepared and do write down what motivates you, and once you get bored you’ll have a letter to open and remember where your true North is pointing.

3. Get Great Gear

Every new project deserves some gear. Runners buy shoes, knitters buy wool, and language learners buy notebooks, dictionaries, textbooks and other delightful things.

If you’re someone who loves to start a new project with an optimistic shopping excursion, go ahead and indulge! For tips on what and how to buy, read No More Hoarding! How to Organize All Your Language Learning Resources.

And to save a bit of money, don’t forget that libraries and second-hand shops always stock a few shelves of language resources that you can use.

4. Get More Than One App

Beyond your paper resources, your smartphone is an amazing language learning tool. The most famous language learning app you might know is Duolingo, but don’t stop there. Download three, four, seven apps to help you learn. Why not!

Every language learning app uses a slightly different system. Get yourself a whole range of different apps to test drive and make it your goal to find out which one’s the most enjoyable.

It’s easy to start ignoring one app’s notifications when you’ve broken the streak. In fact, my advice is to switch notifications off completely as they can easily make you feel bad about your progress when you’re actually doing well.

For a few tips on how to select a good app, see How to Find a Great Language App.

5. Read a Story

Research has shown that learners who learn by reading and listening to lots of interesting input at the right level can learn languages up to six times faster than those who study rules and textbook dialogues.

The trick here is to find something you’re interested in: perhaps a fun short story (like in my German Uncovered course), a video game, comic book, or a song.

Don’t be afraid to immerse yourself in something you only half understand, see if your brain can start seeing any patterns, and make best friends with your dictionary.

It’s surely challenging, but you’ll be amazed at just how much you can learn just from enjoying something you love.

6. Research Music

There are so many cool ways of using music for learning a language that it deserves its own place in this list. You can start by searching online for artists that make your favourite style of music in their language (rap and hip hop are amazing for this), or by investigating local music styles.

Then just hit play and enjoy. To go a little further, you can start reading the lyrics or researching artist interviews. Feeling more ambitious? Attend a concert!

7. Express Yourself NOW

Most people think that they have to wait until they have studied for 50+ hours before they can start expressing anything meaningful in another language. But what if you could flip the script and START by expressing yourself right away?

The trick here is to realise that you don’t have to do this by writing a perfect essay. Expressing how you’re feeling can start with something as simple as one word (“hungry” - “tired” - “headache” - “curious” and so on) and it will help you learn the most relevant and important vocabulary you could ever wish for.

Your act of self-expression can be long like a diary entry or short like a tweet. You can make it by creating a colourful art collage, or by writing the same word in 20 different pens. If you’re feeling brave, you can even share your creation online or record an audio diary.

What matters is that you signal to yourself that you’re ready right now, instead of having to wait for some kind of future level.

8. Make Daily Contact

While I’m on the subject of avoiding anything that makes you feel like you’re “not good enough yet”, I have another tip that has served me fantastically well with every language I’ve taught myself since I left full-time education:

Make daily contact with the language.

That’s all. No need to study 200 flashcards every day or go through four Duolingo levels. What you want is contact. Switch the radio on, watch a video, say hi to a friend, read a page in a book, do a grammar exercise, it does not matter.

Daily contact is the foundation on which you can build a solid language routine without feeling like it’s driving you around the bend.

9. Use Social Media for Language Learning

Most of the time, we think of social media as a distraction and a waste of time. But there’s another way of looking at it.

Follow accounts that share content in your target language, and you’ll instantly have a cool and relevant library of interesting stuff to study. As you get better and feel confident, start making comments in your target language and creating your own posts.

For more specific tips and a list of the best social networks for language learning, check out this list of 17 tips.

10. Try It All

Last year, I interviewed listening expert Cara Leopold for the Fluent Show, who shared this simple lesson on what works well in language learning:

Everything works.

No matter which product you buy or which blog you read, they all have something that will work. The key is finding out whether it will work for you. (“The Miracle Morning” is certainly NEVER gonna do it for me, for example.)

Try Flashcards, try vocab lists, try immersion, try podcasts, try everything that looks interesting in your target language.

Even if you find that it doesn’t work so well for you, it’s unlikely to break your language skills completely.

What Works for You?

Have you tried any of these 10 tips for learning another language? Are you just feeling inspired to add these to your routine?

Leave a comment below to join the discussion - I’d love to hear what works best for you.

Bonus Tip: Build a Language Habit

Habits are the key to building a lasting change and long-term achievement into your life. For language learners, making your study into a habit is just the best. It means you no longer question everything you do and clear the path to just getting on with what you want to accomplish.

I’ve written a short guide taking you step by step through establishing your own healthy language habit, which you can get for free by joining the Fluent Language email newsletter below.

#beginner #tips and tricks #adult language learning

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