#and bulk we is adorable and would absolutely be my next choice but I love their platonic soulmate dynamic 😭 AMICAS the idea sm

[pastelpaperplanes]

Do yo have any rarepair for bumblebee?

Bulkhead/Bee would be CUTE!!! I’ve seen some sweet fan art of them way back when :’)

Does BlurrBee count as a rare pair? I know they’re kinda well known but hey whatever—I like the push/shove dynamic the COMPETITIVENESS of it >:3 super fun

[cuppimagines]

What Happens when you Squeal

OH GOD this request was a long time coming, but I finally got it done! This is sorta, an expansion to Harkan’s own organization that he allies with, lotta bug fellas in this one (in fact only bug fellas)

Word count: 2.6k

This was dangerous, but, even if you ran the risk of getting in less than desirable trouble, it’s better than letting more of these guys just roam the streets, being a danger to much more innocent lives. You drove up to the station you intended on turning your evidence for. It was a thick folder, filled with pictures and documents, anything you got your hands on, but all of it had enough evidence to make sure that no loophole in the legal system could get these guys out of prison. You were ready, you were getting out of your car to step up to the station, and that’s when you felt a presence behind you.

“How about coming with me? You don’t need to turn those in,” a deep, gravely voice told you, as a hand gripped your shoulder. Would you cooperate? Or would you still walk in at risk of getting harmed?

“Go on, make your choice,” the same voice said. You sighed, and turned around to face him. The large frame, massive, scuffed hands, a 5 o clock shadow on a strong square jawline. And most notable is the large rhino beetle horn on his face and multiple arms. You knew what he was here for, and who he worked for. You just followed him.

“Let’s take a little drive, your car,” he said, going into your pockets and grabbing your keys. “Don’t try and drive anywhere else, you’re being followed.” You got in your car, and he joined you, barely able to fit due to his size and bulk. He told you where to go, where to drive off to, and after what seemed like way too long, you ended up at a large warehouse that looked like a fortress looming in the night. That’s when you realized as you parked, that there were other lights behind you, a couple more cars. When you got out and were escorted into the warehouse, you saw that there were about, four more men behind you alongside the large rhino beetle man that had a grip on your shoulder. All four other men also were large, with bug like features. A moth, a wasp, a mantis, and a lightning bug. They were looking at you. Looking at you with looks that seemed excited, and hungry.

The warehouse seemed mostly full of crates, equipment, some tables and chairs for workers to take a breather on.

“Is this the evidence?” The mantis held up your folder, and pulled a lighter from his pocket. “Looks like this won’t be of use anymore.” Your eyes widened as you watched him hold the fire over it, before the lightning bug grabbed the lighter.

“Let’s not worry about smoking the place up yet, we got plenty of time,” he replied.

“What are you guys…going to do to me?” You asked.

“Well, originally, we were gonna beat your teeth in and send you out to sea,” the beetle told you. “But then…we found out the private investigator was some pretty little dame. And you’re even sweeter looking in person.”

“Who knew someone with such a face would get caught up with our work,” the moth said with a smirk. “You’re real pretty, so we’re doing you a favor if anything.” You were pushed against a few crates, some that were stacked in a way that let you sit on them as you were surrounded by five large monstrous men. Your knees buckled under you, yet there was some sense of excitement that showed in your face because of how flushed it was.

“Take those clothes off, now,” Beetle told you. You did as he told, your hands going to unbutton your blouse, toss your coat to the side, undo your pants. All the while you were being ogled at, the more layers you took off, the more it was obvious they were going to absolutely ravish you.

“Oh you’re real cute, real fucking gorgeous,” Wasp grinned. “I can’t wait to make you cum your pretty little brains out~.” He was already quick to approach you before you even had your bra off. He groped at your breasts, his hands squeezing them so hard and so roughly that you whimpered in his grasp. Tugging on them as he pulled that bra off of you, rough calloused hands giving them such a rough time, yet you moaned for it. And he laughed in response.

“Pretty little investigator bitch~!” He said as he licked his lips. “You like this don’t you?”

“Save some for the rest of us you fucking idiot,” Mantis got right next to you as Wasp groped you, and he leaned in for a kiss. He tasted a lot like cigars, which didn’t surprise you all too much as he forced his tongue in you mouth. You felt his hand creep down your panties, and his long fingers started rubbing circles in your clit. At that moment, you had to find something to grip onto, and tried reaching up to grab Wasp’s shirt as Mantis’s fingers went so deep into you, so so deep. You moaned and closed your legs around Mantis’s grip, but Wasp pulled away from fondling your breasts raw to keep your legs spread to show the rest of the group.

“I can’t wait to stick my cock in her…” Beetle licked his lips, his pants pulled down already as he rubbed his hard cock through his boxers. As you moaned and started shaking while Mantis was knuckle deep, pounding you with his fingers, Wasp leaned back down, sucking your breast, and you could feel yet another long tongue start to swirl around your nipple. All these sensations, Mantis’s tongue and fingers, Wasp’s mouth and hands on your breasts, you were going crazy, you tried to thrust into Mantis’s hand, trying to reach some form of climax, but no, Mantis decided to pull out when he felt you grip his fingers tighter than before.

“We got her prepped, your turn big guy,” Mantis told Beetle, before tugging a resistant Wasp back.

“Just save some for the rest of us,” Moth huffed. “Once you get a hold of a girl you won’t let go until she’s practically comatose.”

“A fitting punishment though, for a pretty little snitch like her,” Beetle looked down at you, and you looked away a bit nervously. Eye contact, or being looked at by all these men even in your state still made you nervous, you weren’t used to all these eyes on you, and Beetle noticed just how anxious you seemed.

“Pretty girl, it’s okay, we won’t hurt you, we’re just showing you what happens to cute little kittens who squeal too much,” he smirked as his hand ran through your hair. You felt his cock before you saw the monster he was preparing you for. The head of it pushed against your walls, stretching you out so full, Mantis’s fingers couldn’t have possibly prepared you for this off all things. He was thick, long, you already gripped tightly onto Beetle’s clothes as you felt inch after agonizing in.

“Ah- ah! Oh god! I-I…” You cried out the second that massive cock, already halfway in you, completely thrust into you and stretched you out more than you thought you could be.

“Oh GOD you’re a tight fit!” Beetle moaned as he gripped the crates above you with one hand. You were shaking, your mind went blank, your head tilted back. He started to thrust when your grip loosened as you got more accustomed to his size, but that just got you back to holding onto him for dear life and moaning those sweet little moans

“Oh you boys are gonna love her when you get your turn!” Beetle laughed. “You’re a tight little bitch aren’t you? Squealing for me the same way I bet you were gonna squeal to those pigs back at the station!” His one free hand, as two were gripping your hips and one was gripping your hips, had started groping and kneading your breast, that was already so sensitive. Oh god the others were so excited to get their turn with you.

“Don’t fuckin rub it in or I’ll pull you off her myself,” Lightning bug told him. He was hard as a rock, and in excitement his abdomen was glowing a faint glow and his wings flapped, despite him looking pissed off and even jealous. Though you could barely hear him talking over your own moaning and your thoughts completely liquifying. Beetle was so rough with you and he was so so big that your stomach bulged with each thrust of his cock.

You grasped onto Beetle tighter, he was getting rougher and faster, and you could hear his horny crazed grunts and moans. You cried out and gripped his shirt so tightly that you heard a bit of tearing as you reached your climax, and he filled you up with his seed.

Beetle pulled out, and you laid there, limp and breathing heavily. But you knew it wasn’t over just yet. Moth and Lightning bug got you up, in fact Moth lifted you into his arms, gripping your thighs while using one hand to undo his pants. As Lightning bug pressed behind you, you could feel not one but two cocks, the both of them were readying themselves, two perfect holes for them to fuck.

When you felt the two of them thrust into you, you gripped onto Moth as tight as you can, shaking and whimpering at their sizes. Moth sat on the crate, making it a bit easier to both of them to pound you, Lightning Bug even grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled it, his cock filling your ass, stretching it out, making you scream for the both of them.

“How about you grind on our cocks, princess?” Moth chuckled. “Show is how much you want this…!” At that command, You kept your head in Moth’s chest, and very weakly started grinding into both their cocks, moving your hips as they thrust into you, but your hips already felt weak from the way Beetle had his way with you. Impatient, Lightning bug pressed his body onto yours from behind, moaning as he started fucking your ass more aggressively. Moth was slower, more patient even when his face was flushed and his cock twitched inside you, but Lightning bug was real excited for this, he wanted to break your pretty little ass with each rough thrust.

“Cmon princess~!” Moth tilted your chin up to look at him. He saw your eyes glazed over, mouth open, face flushed as you were being fucked, and he was absolutely infatuated with the way you looked. “Ohhh look at you! You’re so adorable, such a sweet face…we should ask the boss if we can keep her~!”

“AH- ah…k-keep me??” You whimpered between being pounded hard by Lightning Bug. You couldn’t believe that they were already breaking you enough that you enjoyed the thought of doing this again and again with them. You were going from a detective to a plaything for the men you were trying to lock up, and you didn’t care at all, you really did want this, it felt so good!

“We probably will~!” Lightning bug started kissing your neck from behind. “Gotta keep an eye on- oh fuck…! On our little snitch!” You felt his cock twitch inside you, and he started fucking you faster and harder. Both sensations were too much, you felt overwhelmed in the best of ways and you wanted more. You couldn’t take it, despite your stamina you tried to move your hips against them, begging under your breath to cum, until you felt the both of them fill you up Lightning Bug first following Moth. And god did you cry out as you clenched around both their cocks, your eyes squeezing shut as you rode out your orgasm.

They both pulled out of you, and even though you were exhausted, you knew that this wasn’t the end of it. You tried to stand up, but couldn’t and fell back into Moth’s lap.

“She’s already looking exhausted,” Wasp approached you, and Moth handed you right to him so he could get up. You had to lean against him or else you swore you were going to fall to your knees.

“Don’t forget, this is a punishment for her,” Mantis grabbed you and laid you on your stomach back on the crates. He started to grope your ass, spreading it apart to look at how both holes at this point were stuffed with cum. Wasp tilted your head to the side to look up at him, as he pulled his cock from it. It was one thing to know you had to ride their cocks like this, but looking at Wasp’s size with him very eagerly awaiting your mouth, you weren’t sure you’d be able to take it all without choking.

But, as dazed and tired as you were, you lifted your head up, and brought your lips to his cock. All while Mantis had you inch by inch take his cock in your ass. Mantis practically growled when he managed to fit it all inside you, and your screams of pleasure got muffled when Wasp shoved his cock down your throat. Tears stung your eyes, you tried breathing through your nose, and you looked up as Wasp’s hungry expression.

You felt them thrust almost in tandem with you, as Mantis was deep in your ass, Wasp was deep down your throat. Both sensations were still so new to you, and you felt so dazed and drunk with pleasure that your mind felt like it was melting. So nervous at the start of it, but now you took your “punishment” proudly from them. You grinded your ass on Mantis, and since Wasp’s grip on your head was loose, you decided to bob it up a down kn his cock. You were so eager now, and the rest took notice.

“Little slut likes her punishment doesn’t she?” Lightning Bug smirked.

“God I fuckin love it too!” Mantis moaned. “This whore feels sooo fucking good!”

“We’re bringing her back, we can’t- ah fuck!” Wasp gripped your head and held you there as he fucked himself with your mouth and throat. “We can’t just send her back home-! I need a new fucktoy like this!” Your mouth felt so good to him. Even as your vision grew white and your air seemed to be cut off, you were excited to pleasure Wasp and Mantis. Again you seemed to have a Burst of energy, solely from the fact that these men were fuckin you to a mindless, cock hungry state.

If you could talk at the moment you’d beg to cum, to plead for more, it all felt so amazing! Wasp and Mantis kept a tight grip on you, your head held to Wasp’s hips, and your hips being grabbed and pulled onto Mantis they both came inside you. You gagged and tried to swallow Wasp’s seed. But you had to pull away, it was all way too much and you spat it out. At that, Mantis slapped your ass and you cried out, even though you were exhausted beyond belief.

“We’ll teach her to swallow, for now though…” Mantis pulled out. All five of them were satisfied you learned your lesson as you laid there on your stomach trying to catch your breath.

“Now you know what happens when you snitch, dollface,” Beetle approached you, gripping the red area that Mantis smacked you.

“Y-yes sir…” you whimper. If you had an ounce of energy left, you’d say “If I try to turn you in, would you do the same thing?” But you were limp and exhausted, so easy to pick up as Beetle did and put you in the back seat of your own car as they left the warehouse after cleaning up. A blanket was put over you, and just like that, the moment your body hit the upholstery of the seat, you fell asleep.

[oumakokichi]

hello! could you talk a bit more about the original (as in jp, not localization) ouma's personality and speech patterns? you've mentioned that he tends to trail off or speak more softly when it is implied he is speaking the truth, etc. and how he is not so loud/intentionally obnoxious. //btw when does he call himself a fairy? that's so cute

I got a couple of questions asking about the fairy line Ouma has, so I don’t mind sort of rolling them both into one! And I’m more than happy to talk a little more in-depth about Ouma’s speech patterns and personality in the original game, too!

Since I’ll be covering some late-game spoilers, I’ll put the bulk of this under the cut, so be careful when reading!

First off, I cannot stress how much I recommed playing ndrv3 with the Japanese voices enabled. If you’ve already played through the English dub but never experiened the original voice acting cast, I promise you won’t be disappointed. The Japanese cast are all fantastic, incredibly talented VAs who, unlike the dub, were hired specifically for these roles and not just re-casted from previous DR games.

Hiro Shimono as Ouma gives an absolutely incredible performance. The localization might still have many flaws in its translation and omission of certain lines or punctuation, but you can still very much get a feel for how Ouma’s character was intended by listening to Shimono’s performance. Re-playing the game with the Japanese voices will definitely let you hear how soft and tonally different Shimono’s performance is in places from the English dub, and compare it to the way in which many lines are written and punctuated as if Ouma’s yelling at everyone.

That isn’t to say that Shimono’s Ouma is never loud or excited: Ouma is a character whose moods and façades are all over the place, and therefore his performance requires a voice actor who can similarly change moods and intonation on a dime. Ouma is very much loud and haughty and deliberately annoying when he’s supposed to be, but his voice is also low and ominous at other points when he’s trying to be scary. And again, it’s soft and hesitant in places where he’s considering divulging some of his information, or when he’s insisting that all the things he does are for everyone’s sake, because he cares about them and doesn’t want anyone to die.

These moments feel so much more genuine in the Japanese version of the game--because they’re meant to be. As fantastic of a liar as Ouma is, it’s much easier for us, the player, to tell when he’s lying on a re-play, knowing the information from chapters 5 and 6 that we do, and looking at cues like his sprites (often his blank-faced ones) and, yes, his delivery of certain lines.

This probably sounds like me just gushing about what a fantastic voice actor Hiro Shimono is, and in part that’s exactly what it is, but I want to stress that pretty much every single voice actor in the Japanese cast is just as fantastic and that they all do their jobs incredibly well. With all that gushing out of the way, I’ll move on to talking about some of Ouma’s actual speech tics and the way he refers to other characters.

Like most things about him, Ouma’s speech patterns are sort of an interesting mix and even seem a little contradictory at times. He uses the very masculine pronoun “ore” (オレ), but he also refers to nearly everyone (with only a handful of exceptions) by their surnames and the much more childish honorific “-chan” (i.e. “Saihara-chan,” “Akamatsu-chan,” “Amami-chan,” etc.)

The use of “-chan” is very interesting. Honorifics in Japan are extremely complicated and tend to mean different things depending on who is using them. Typically, “-chan” is seen as a very feminine way to refer to someone else, commonly used in close-knit friend groups among school girls.

There are, of course, a few notable exceptions to this however: often times, middle-aged or elderly people will call a child “-chan” regardless of gender, as a way of showing they find them cute and endearing. And sometimes, people will use “-chan” to refer to other things they find cute, such as pets, or even to refer to themselves in a sort of informal, tongue-in-cheek way.

The fact that Ouma uses “-chan” as an honorific to refer to nearly everyone in the game stands out quite a lot: by and large, boys don’t use this term to refer to other boys. Using “-chan” to refer to anyone you’ve just met or don’t know very well is already somewhat frowned upon, but a boy using it to refer to other boys is especially rare. This helps set Ouma’s character up as someone who is both incredibly casual and informal with others (not to mention, you know, quite coded). Considering childishness and lightheartedness are traits Ouma values, and how much emphasis is put on him having “a very innocent, childish streak that’s hard to hate,” it makes sense then that he would talk like this.

Not counting Monokuma and the Monokubs, the only characters who Ouma doesn’t refer to with “-chan” are Gonta and Kiibo, who he simply calls by name. This also says some interesting things about his character.

Gonta is easily the character who Ouma interacts with the most often, as well as the charater he hurts the most in the end. Ouma’s choice to exclude Gonta from his usual way of calling people is, I think, a testament to how much Gonta really wanted to be friends with him, even if their friendship was never exactly on equal footing.

Meanwhile with Kiibo, I feel the choice to exclude him from his usual way of addressing others is indicative of how much Ouma tried to remind himself that Kiibo “wasn’t human,” and therefore how suspicious he found his presence in the killing game. We know Ouma suspected Kiibo and likely even had an inkling of his role as the audience proxy/camera in the game, due to how Kiibo’s picture is one of the only others set aside on his whiteboard besides Saihara’s, with the word “weird” written next to it (he also clearly guessed about the cameras after Gonta’s line in chapter 2, as we see from how he commissioned Miu for the bug-vac).

Ouma clearly enjoys teasing Kiibo a lot, and their banter reads very much like a manzai comedy duo; I feel like Ouma often tried pushing himself to remember that Kiibo “wasn’t human” on purpose in order to not get too attached to him or too distracted from his goal of ending the killing game. I don’t think Ouma’s decision to exclude Kiibo from the way that he very particularly referred to most of the rest of the group was just an accident or a coincidence.

Honorifics aside, Ouma also refers to several characters in interesting ways. He often uses “daisuki na ___-chan” (大好きな) to refer to some of the other characters, a phrase which more or less equates to “my beloved.” He uses this phrase with Saihara more than any other character of the game, but there are a few other instances where he does use it with Amami, Momota, and (if I’m remembering correctly) Kaede. Pretty much every single instance where the localization put, “because I love you” or “because you’re my favorite” whenever Ouma was talking to Saihara was usually a point where he would specifically call him “my beloved Saihara-chan.”

In chapter 4 during the scene where Ouma is alone in the parlor of the VR world, he also specifically, exclusively refers to Saihara as “suki ni natta hito” (好きになった人), literally: “the person I fell in love with.” This line was changed in the localization to, “when there’s a person I like,” which is more or less literally correct--however, the phrase “suki ni natta” is much heavier and more loaded with explicitly romantic implications than “suki” would be on its own, as it’s often used in Japanese love songs and shoujo manga love confessions.

Worth noting in my opinion is the fact that this is the exact same phrasing Maki uses to describe her romantic feelings for Momota. Since Maki’s feelings for Momota are considered canonically confirmed because of this, Ouma’s feelings should be considered equally canon, but a lot of people don’t know this because, well, it’s sort of been lost in translation.

And now, on to the fairy line! Ouma calls himself a fairy in chapter 3, when he pops up in the middle of Saihara and Korekiyo’s discussion of the katana in Korekiyo’s lab. Full of enthusiasm, he decides to touch the sword and examine it for himself; Korekiyo starts to object, but Ouma interrupts and says:

“Come on, it’s not a big deal! I’m like a fairy, so it’ll be fine!”

I’ve always really loved this line and thought it was super adorable, both as a nod to how fairies aren’t supposed to be able to touch steel in most fae mythos, as well as the fact that fairies tend to also have a love for mischief and pranks and lies. The localization apparently didn’t like it so much though, because this line is simply changed to, “Come on, would I lie to you?” instead.

One final thing I can think of as far as Ouma’s speech tics go is that his laugh in Japanese is romanized as “nishishi” instead of “neeheehee,” as this is closer to the Japanese onomatopoeia for the sound horses make--but I actually don’t mind this localization change at all! “Neeheehee” definitely looks a lot closer to the word “neigh” and helps capture that horse joke in a way that I feel like western players can more easily understand.

All in all, while I still definitely feel people can like and enjoy Ouma’s character from playing the localization alone, I still stand by my opinion that listening to the original Japanese voices helps give a much better picture of how the character was intended to come across, and really shows how much depth Hiro Shimono put into his performance. He’s quoted in the official ndrv3 artbook as saying that he believes Ouma is someone who’s actually “really meek if you take away his strong wish to outwit everyone” (credit to @kaibutsushidousha for the art book translation), and I think this interpretation of Ouma really shows through in so many of his lines.

Thank you both for the really fun questions! I hope I could provide some more interesting information about Ouma and the translation!

[ryttu3k]

Already finished Coteries of New York, so on to Shadows of New York! I’ve seen the first bit in an LP, at least, but the bulk of the story will be new. This will have two playthroughs, one for each ending, since at least it has them XD First up - the ‘good’ ending!

Oh dang I like the music.

Julia is a bit on the edgy/cynical side XD

Yeah, she’s got a shit deal :-\ And what’s worse is that it’s all planned out.

Interesting note - at Lodestar, there were shadowy figures in the background, but you could rationalise it as people on the other side of the windows. On the train, you only see the shadowy features, and it’s otherwise empty, so no obvious figures casting them...

I guess if you choose the ‘don’t shoot’ option, Julia gets drained and it’s an early game over?

God that Embrace scene is intense. I got goosebumps!

Spirits, huh? Oh yeah, Obtenebration became Oblivion and is now connected with necromancy, IIRC?

I’m glad she had a good few nights XD;;

Valerie Duval, she was... the scourge in CoNY hunting down the Red Hook killer?

Nice to meet you, ‘Katherine Wiese’ XD

Cool ponytail, Qadir! I really dig the relationship between him and Julia, it’s fun. ‘sup Aisling, how’s Agathon? A blood hunt, really? Y O U. Okay yeah probably better for Julia’s long-term survival for Arturo to ignore her XD;; Samira’s so pretty. Ooh this guy is Hope’s sire, yeah?

“You wanted to hear about which member of New York City's Camarilla I dislike the most?"

"Yes?"

"Too bad. They're all my dear colleagues, and I deeply respect every single one of them."

"Sure you do. Wouldn't want to blurt out something that could lock you out of Mr Vanderweyden's legal services, would you, you ass-kisser?"

"I do expect to find myself in need of a good defense attorney when my broke, incompetent, and foul-mouthed assistant finally pushes me over the edge."

THEMST.

Benoit hi!! “Got any news about Sophie Langley?” *sharp intake of breath* Benoit backstory, that’s rad. I wonder if it’ll be uncovered in-game? Like we know Arturo is still around, Panhard is still around. Presumably Adelaide Davis is still around. Callihan... well, I know what happens to him. I think Torque ditches the scene before Sophie dies?

Father Leonard seems like a good sort. I wonder what his deal is?

Dakota is adorable. I’m going to do the ‘good’ end first even though I know it’ll make me feel horrible, but dangit, the ‘bad’ end is totally going to be my canon.

...Vin Diesel? XD

DING DONG THE DOUCHE IS DEAD. ...Deader than usual, I mean.

jfc Panhard that is pretentious as hell. Both the party description and the costume, actually XD Qadir’s mask is kind of funky. Oh my god Arturo you are a Toreador is that the best you can come up with?! Nice horns, Aisling.

...Thought, given their clans, Samira/Aisling could be interesting as hell.

Man, Arturo and Panhard must be pissed off XD Unless they’ve already picked their replacement stooge?

And here’s where the plot starts! Hey, isn’t that the priest’s house? Ohh, they’re meant to be meeting with Mia. I guess they’re just reusing assets.

“It’s a list of four names. ‘D’Angelo. Hope. Agathon. Tamika.’“ *SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH* Okay, that could be the list Sophie gave the fledgling. Which one did Callihan get it from?

Oh criminy Dakota don’t tell me you’re into that Q-Anon shit XD;; Ooh okay that makes more sense. Neat.

Ahhh man I was hoping to get a lead and instead Julia has to punish this poor fuck XD;; Yeesh. Okay, Bunny as a Reporter it is, then.

Almost run over by a limo, huh? *chinstroke*

Oooh this is the lead to Hope! Yeah, I’d say she has a connection with a Montgomery XD Wonder if she did end up eating her? Huh, contact used LeakyGutSyndrome... didn’t Hope end up having to retire that one, or was it the other one? Let’s just... Dominate this guy. Sorry dude it’s for your own good.

Agathon’s missing? :( Damn, he’s like one of the only decent Tremere. Oho, a diary! Oh sweetheart :( Oh, Silvia died :( Damn, interesting past, though... and a reference to CoNY again.

Fucking shadows, I literally glanced over my shoulder.

S C H E M E S. And yeah, looks like I’m on my way to the ‘good’ end :-\

Oh shit, Adelaide or.... whatshisname, Kaiser’s dude? Oooh man who to meet first... Kaiser’s dude. Oh. That was a bit anticlimactic XD

On to see Hope at Double Spiral. I think this is one of those choices that leads to one of the endings, so what’s more ruthless and Camarilla... busting in it is.

Nastya isn’t having a good night, is she XD;; Also Hope’s suit is badass.

...huh. Sounds like she’s actually managed to get shit sorted decently XD

Interesting... the coterie members were a list of heroes for hire that multiple people had, including Sophie. Well, that widens the scope a bit! Anonymous information broker, shall I assume that’s Kaiser? OH. No, it’s her sire!

“The story going around is, he left me alone and I hate his guts. Well, at least half of that is true.” Which half, though...

Aww man I wish I had saved some of those websites! I miss SciFiVine...

You know, I’m not 100% sure Carter’s the murderer (my main suspect is Arturo at this point tbh) but damn, the bit about Stern’s show kinda makes me want to slap him anyway XD;;

Queer Catholic blues, huh :-\

“Haven’t you noticed what’s going on in the news? People are going absolutely insane about this virus, cancelling trips and orders and --” Ahh. We’re in that 2020 XD;;

Okay the scene with the kid meeting his girlfriend was cute but then spooky time?? jfc was that the Abyss?!

Ooooh did she just find Tamika solely by accident? Thanks, Abyss XD I love how Julia’s first response is ‘shit, she’s hot’. And she took out a whole SI squad herself? Nice. Calebros mention! Huh, so the SI are maintaining the status quo... they became an issue because the Camarilla tried to sic them on the Anarchs and Sabbat and it backfired, maybe it actually succeeded here?

Ooh, a history with Torque. Neat. Also not sure with the art, but are those tattoos on Tamika’s arm, or fur? I mean, Gangrel beast marks and all.

Sorry Torque I’m just trying to get the ‘good’ end :(

Mention of the fledgling! Officially ‘disappeared’, that leaves it fairly ambiguous at this point.

Oof. The Circulatory System are... not cool. And yeah Julia’s just been called tf out, I do look forward to this scene in the ‘bad’ end XD;;

COVID strikes back. The Big Beat Burger is closed :( Charlie is sweet, at least! I hope his mom is okay.

Well that rat bit was weird. Hi D’Angelo! Oh my god blood doll rats? Drunk blood doll rats?! Still a damn good detective, though, that’s good shit. On to Kaiser and some answers! ...Yeah, okay, he’s a prime suspect too.

Kaiser, you are a deeply unpleasant person :-\

...good to know pepper spray still works. And, uh, probably satisfying to beat him up XD;; And yeah, there’s the last choice for the ‘good’ ending. Sorry dude.

...huh. Okay, I was at least partially right XD;; Oh Qadir, not you too :-\

Well that’s a bit... weird of Dakota, yes.

lmao oh Benoit you absolute mess. Religion as A E S T H E T I C XD I have a theory he’s from Michael’s line and I also quite sincerely believe that Michael would take one look at him and bitchslap him into the next millennium. He’s a Path follower, isn’t he?

Father Leonard is okay. I wonder who the ‘friend’ is?

This is very Agatha Christie, revealing the killer in the midst, except I have the horrible feeling Qadir’s going to go with ‘it was suicide’ and not ‘it was everyone’.

Denouement! Before it ends, Julia’s traits:

Loyal only to myself

Glass half-empty

A little abuse of power never hurt nobody

You can’t be a writer and not lie

The ends justify the means (duh)

Honestly she may have just blackmailed her way into power, set up Carter to take the fall, and sent poor Dakota to final death, but the drama was impeccable XD Good luck not ending up in the Abyss, Julia!

[radramblog]

Radiohead Retrospective Part 9: Hold me, hold me

We’ve arrived at the final Radiohead album to date. The only one to come out since I became a fan, and as such the one I can actually remember listening to for the first time. On a cold winter morning in Perth (so not that cold), releasing on a Monday, I excitedly ran up to buy the album on iTunes and download it before I had to catch the bus to uni. The last time I think I will ever have bought music on that platform, at this point. I remember listening to the opening two tracks, the two that had dropped with gorgeous videos over the weekend, before diving into the album proper.

And then a mate showed up at the station when I was transferring buses so I ended up talking to him instead of listening to the second half, and I didn’t get to do that until the afternoon.

I think it’s fitting that this album be the one with such a story attached, considering how personal an album it is compared to the previous few. A Moon Shaped Pool is a clear reflection of the events surrounding it- Thom’s divorce from his partner of 25 years, Rachel Owen, and her subsequent early passing from cancer, and the death of producer Nigel Godrich’s father during the recording sessions. There’s a deep loneliness and tragedy in the album, and one that seriously resonates with the times.

With that in mind, Burn The Witch is kind of an odd fit for the album. Themes of mob mentality and moral panic, images of medieval plague houses and witch hunts don’t quite suit the tone A Moon Shaped Pool generally conveys. Which is why it’s probably for the best that the song appears at the very start of the album, somewhat separated from the bulk of the work.

This might imply that I don’t like the song. Far from it, for a while, Burn the Witch was my favourite track on the entire thing. I adore strings on rocky music, and in this case, they almost chug, like the guitars on a System of a Down song, with the electronic elements being such an excellent subtle contrasting part of the music. Thom’s vocals are all-encompassing in the chorus, and the timing of the strings getting that little psychotic edge to them at the same time is so perfect.  

As much as the album is separate from this song, it’s still an excellent choice for an opener, both in the tracklist and the promotion. Because like a fair few other songs on this album, Burn the Witch has been a Radiohead song without a home for a very long time, as early as the Kid A era, with early versions of its lyrics showing up in the Hail to the Thief art and website. It was something hardcore fans had been clamoring for for more than a decade, especially after one live show where Thom responded to the cries by playing the first few bars- and then saying “alright for the rest of it you’ll have to wait until we get the orchestra” (paraphrased). And get the orchestra they did, with its majesty in this song being a statement.

Daydreaming is an extremely different song from Burn the Witch, as one would imagine from what I’ve said previous. Piano driven and muffled with allusions to Plato’s Cave, it’s a song that sounds like giving up, and all the pain (and all the comfort) associated with it. The song is a slow, slow build to an emotional climax who’s lyrics are incomprehensible on account of being backmasked. For the record, it’s commonly believed that they’re “Half of my life”, a reference again to Thom’s relationship with his late wife.

The song is relaxing for its majority, the soft pianos and vocals a cold comfort to the defeated emotion the song portrays. This is sort of shocked out of the system 5 minutes in, as the strings are louder and clearer, and the backmasked vocals get more distorted, and loud, sounding like snoring, drowning out the gentler electronic sounds. This does eventually settle, with both strings and vocals lowering to more of a rumble, everything else fading out until they are all that remain. The note the song ends on is kind of disturbing, frankly.

It’s somewhat awkward that the two songs with music videos are at the very start of the album, leaving the rest of this to be a wall of text. I’ll find something.

Track 3 presents an interesting parallel with OK Computer, with both Decks Dark and its Subterranean Homesick Alien using UFOs as metaphor for the human condition. Instrumentally, of course, they’re completely different, but the thematic tie is there. Decks Dark has also at some point vied for the place of my favourite track on the album, the very fun, rhythmic delivery of the vocals in the verse something I’m fond of singing along to, and that absolutely killer backing choral giving the song a haunting feel.

Decks Dark effectively has four distinct sections- Chorus(?) 1, Verse, Chorus 2, Outro. The first chorus is this very mysterious thing, light on instrumentation aside from an electronic drum beat and a simple piano line (with heavily panned noises that I’m pretty sure are only in the right ear). The verse, as I mentioned, has the haunting choral and fresh bars, a heavier piano laden into its airy instrumental, a quiet but killer bassline that gets to kind of show up in the second chorus. Chorus 2 feels like a reflection of the first, a bit more grounded, the mystery explored, and the outro is… I mean the bass and piano are great but I always forget about this part of the track, like I could take it or leave it. Fortunately for said outro, the song is very much more than the sum of its parts, and it’s an excellent fit for the album.

Speaking of being able to take or leave things, I’m not particularly huge on Desert Island Disk. A low acoustic guitar-based track, with a distant echo of an electronic piece playing only in your left ear for like, half of the track, with less subtle electronic sections following up, panning between ears, that (and I mean this as a compliment) remind me of the Spore soundtrack. Christ that’s a weird comparison.

There’s an interesting moment where a new acoustic riff comes in right as you’re getting lost in the haze, cutting through the electronic fog (as it becomes the only instrumentation present), which is honestly a very precise bit of musical timing. I do enjoy the lyrics to the song as well, what with its final line probably not deliberately being an LGBT+ affirmation but sure working as one. The song is, basically, pretty okay, but don’t be surprised if I skip it on my next (less thorough) listen-through.

Ful Stop is a track that often convinces me I’ve fucked up my headphones or something, because of how quiet and how slow the buildup for its introduction is. It’s probably the angriest track Radiohead has put out in the last decade, harsh electronics and accusatory vocals kind of a surprise after the chillness of Desert Island Disk. The bass is killer in this song’s first half, and the almost cyclical presentation of its various elements as the bass and drums are still slowly getting louder and clearer is excellent until it breaks into its second half. I…forgot how long the first section of the song was, frankly.

The second section is really interesting, with its twin vocals making like the instrumentation as “Truth will mess you up” slowly gets quieter and quieter to the point of inaudibility and “All the good times” rising into clarity, all while the instrumentation just keeps chugging. I understand this one is one of the songs that predates the album (and unlike Burn the Witch was actually played live), and I’d like to see exactly how that particular one panned out before A Moon Shaped Pool took it’s approach to it. Good track!

Glass Eyes somewhat reminds me of Faust Arp, in that it’s a much quieter, shorter, and vocally driven track than what surrounds it. And just like Faust Arp, I really enjoy it. This track is distilled, purified anxiety, brutal yet familiar lyrics and a soft, hesitant piano line to accompany it. The strings are absolutely beautiful on this song, rising and falling with the lyrics, and especially with the second verse.

This song feels intimate, particularly with its last two lines. “I feel this love to the core” is a great illustration of how, when surrounded by harsh reality and anxiety, positive feelings like love can be amplified in context and touch deeper than they otherwise would. Of course, it’s followed up by “I feel this love turn cold”, as this album is, in fact, about tragedy- what do you do when that source of comfort goes as icy as everything else?

Track number 7 is Identikit, and no I don’t know what that means. Actually I don’t really know what any of this song means, to be honest, but it is kind of a jam. It’s also the track where the album’s title, and this post’s one, come in, in a nigh-incomprehensible background refrain in the first section that I’m pretty sure we only know the words for thanks to the lyrics booklet. The first half of the track is fairly simple, vocals (+ that refrain) along with a simple drum loop and guitar line.

And then the bridge comes in. Larger-than-life, especially as the electronics and backing vocals come in for its second section, but it’s always briefer than I recall. Most of the song stays in the relatively relaxed mood of the first verse, with the second being basically the same as the first instrumentally, though the guitar is doing some really fun noodling and there’s some electronic stuff going on in the other ear. I kinda forgot how much panning there was in the album in general- not the type of album for those with only one working headphone. Identikit is a track for which my feelings are a lot more muted than they used to be- not a bad one by any means, but I used to like it more and I’m not sure what changed.

The Numbers opens with n o i s e s and this luscious piano section, experimental and jazzy but ethereal and vague, before its main guitar and drums kick in. It’s a very folksy track by and large, still having the feel of the rest of the album but with a twangier guitar and more consistent percussion, grounding the more airy elements of the track with this very real instrumentation.

Speaking of Very Real, this might be surprising for people who only follow Radiohead’s music and not their politics or people, but The Numbers is actually a climate change protest song. It gets a bit more obvious in the second verse, as the strings come in with this very determined mood, and the lyrics get a bit less subtle about the whole thing. I can’t say I know if anyone’s played this track at a climate rally I’ve been to yet (but they should), but it’s kind of interesting that it took this long for such a song to get made, considering how long Thom in particular has been a staunch supporter of, well, not having oil companies burn the world down.

Our next song is Present Tense, one which I think currently sits as my favourite from the album, but boy does it shift. It’s a very groovy piece, almost liquid in its presentation, one I can’t help but jam to a little bit when listening to. There’s some really surprising elements in the track, a…shaker, or whatever you call those things that aren’t quite maracas, as well the echoing vocals feeling like backing singers, whispering almost as they’re layered on top of each other over and over.

The lyricism in the song kind of speaks its own mood- “As my world comes crashing down, I’ll be dancing, freaking out”. It’s a dance of rejection, of denying reality and shutting down to avoid the world and its pain, but you know, while groovin’. There’s a duality to them, with the verses presenting this anxious spiral and its avoidance, as the chorus’s one line- “in you I’m lost”- suggests a lifeline for the person experiencing this scenario. All in all, it’s an excellent track.

Our penultimate track is one with a total so long that Spotify really doesn’t want to show it all, Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief, which I’m not going to repeat because this post is already super ridiculously long. Fortunately, I have surprisingly little to say about this song. The majority of the track is pretty much fine, good vocals, a relatively basic instrumentation that gets more luxurious for the second verse/chorus, with a second clearer piano line and drums overlaid on their electronic substitutes from the first.

And then the final minute and a half happens, and it’s incredible. There’s no way they could have kept this up for the whole song, but the orchestral section in this part of the song is utterly mindblowing, a beautiful crescendo that serves as the album’s climax, more and more things and strings adding on as the progression of the song just goes and goes until it just…ends. I do wish it was longer, frankly, because there is a whole like half minute of outro that I just wish was more of that instrumental.

The final track on A Moon Shaped Pool is True Love Waits. But to talk about True Love Waits, we need to talk about True Love Waits.

That is to say the live version of the song from a 2001 Oslo concert, present on both I Might Be Wrong: Live Recordings and Radiohead: The Best Of (the closer for both and the concert itself), since along with other tracks from the album this was one that had existed for a while before it finally got put to vinyl. It’s a lovely but surprisingly simple acoustic love song, depressing lyrics and wavering vocals aside. The chorus of the song is “just don’t leave, don’t leave”, a desperate plea for companionship that, in this case, seems to have succeeded. The track genuinely feels happy despite itself, a hopeful end to what was surely a melancholic concert. The video above isn’t that version, it’s from a different performance, but it’s close enough.

But of course, in reality, she eventually did leave. And then she died not long afterwards. This tragedy is reflected in the A Moon Shaped Pool version of True Love Waits, an utterly crushing piece of music. Those same lyrics over a simple piano version of the instrumentation, one that feels almost empty, or hollow, echoing into the void with only itself to answer. Those same lyrics that now feel so much more pained, an awful reminder of what was. The line “I’m not living, I’m just killing time” is so much harsher when the song doesn’t have that bright undercurrent to keep it going. While there’s a lot of emotion packed into the rest of the album, True Love Waits is the sonic equivalent of weeping.

It’s…hard to listen to. I believe it was literally scientifically determined, as far as something like that can be done, to be the most depressing Radiohead song. It’s basically not a song I ever listen to as a result- I really don’t need that energy in my life, honestly. Grieving is hard, obviously, but it’s not really a zone I want to deliberately put myself into.

And that is, ultimately, how A Moon Shaped Pool, and Radiohead’s current album legacy, ends. Not on a whimper, but something kind of like it. It’s a very good album, clearly, but there are moments from it I’d rather pass on most of the time- hence I don’t think it’ll ever be, like, top 3 for me.

At this point, Radiohead’s future is kind of uncertain. The members of the band took a break after this to work on solo projects and the like, but at this point, all of those have pretty much wrapped, and so the rumblings of LP10 are likely on the horizon. There’s no way of knowing what another album would look or sound like at this point, so we’ll just have to see. The band did release a 20 year anniversary edition of OK Computer, though, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see one for Kid A/Amnesiac within the rest of the year. It would, uh, have to be within the rest of the year.

The future of this series is of course similarly unclear. While I could and probably should end it, move on to talk about other albums and bands, some part of me does want to go back and take a look at some other Radiohead stuff. There’s B-Sides, there’s solo projects (which I really haven’t delved into personally), theres TKOL RMX 1234567, the list goes on. I guess you, and I, will both have to see next Tuesday. I hope to see you then, whatever it ends up being.

[azulamakesmeblank]

12 things Katara and Aang remember from their first Christmas together as husband and wife

This is for the Kataang mini week!! @fehnandas

I've never written in this format before, and honestly, it’s kind of challenging. There are definitely a few faults, but I really enjoyed coming up with the ideas!

I hope anyone reading has had a wonderful Christmas!

(Bulk text in italics is going back to the present tense, kind of like a flashback)

1: Katara had imagined Aang, with the goofy kid in him, would've been the one to wake her the moment the winter sun broke above the horizon; so she was surprised that it had been her eyes that fluttered open at the crack of dawn to find her husband, mouth slightly agape in the most adorable manner, sleeping soundly by her side.

2: She had waited. She had. And although she always loved to watch him as he slept, there had been no time for that. It was Christmas! Holding back her excitement proved... impossible.

That’s when she brought her lips to his ear, tracing patterns across his bare chest in order to wake him in the sweetest way possible.

Or to try to, at least - Katara’s patience was wearing thin.

3: Aang could recall the voice of an angel pulling him from his slumber that morning.

“Come on, sleepyhead... time to wake up...”

“Hmm...?” Her eyes widened with anticipation.

But when he took too long to fully come around, she had dropped her gentle methods of awakening her love and climbed out of bed, allowing the excitement to take over as she pulled him with her by the wrist - “It’s Christmas!” - resulting in the most painful awakening for him when he fell to the ground -

“ARGH!” - with a loud, painful sounding thud.

“Oh, sweetie! I’m so sorry!”

4: Aang (despite being the severely injured one) had made them tea. In the glow of the slowly rising sun, she had huddled close to his side on their couch, basking in the warmth of the crackling fire (and his body) with her eyes on him almost constantly.

From time to time, her free hand, absentmindedly stroking the pendant of her betrothal necklace delicately, caught his eye. He simply smiled and sipped his tea, loving the feel of her arm wrapped around him.

“I love you.” She hummed into his shoulder, a soft kiss against it, sealing the words there forever, and Katara soon feeling the reward of his lips pressing gently onto the crown of her head, coaxing her eyes to shut. It took no time at all for him to recite the words back to her.

5: Her gift to him had been something quite impossible to forget; especially since he’s never taken it off.

“Open it.”

Aang eyed the box curiously, constantly returning his gaze to hers that were eager and filled with anticipation. They sat across from each other, just by the fire, when he finally gave in and carefully untied the golden ribbon so neatly wrapped around a small navy box. Katara was more excited than he was, the grin on her face putting his to shame.

Once it was finally opened, all Aang could do was stare. It had to have cost a lot of money.

“Katara, this... this is just... where did you-?”

“Do you like it?”

“Like it?” He almost laughed in disbelief at her ridiculously stupid question, moving to pull the thick golden band from the box carefully, a certain gleam from the inside of the band catching his eye as he turned it in his fingers. “I love it Katara. I absolutely love it. But-”

“Oh shush up about the price of things, would you?” She reached out to him, beckoning him closer with her bottom lip between her teeth. “...Did you read the inside?” She said after a quiet moment of her admiring him and him admiring the ring.

He nodded, watching as she took his hand in hers and slid the golden band on to his finger with ease - with a quiet sigh of relief that it fit.

“I figured, since I have my necklace, it’d be nice for you to have something, too.”

“...Thank you. Seriously, thank you.” He beamed, leaning forward to capture her lips in a kiss of gratitude and unadulterated love. “So much.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I’ll never take it off.” She suddenly felt a wave of emotion as he held her face in his hands, grey eyes shining in the glow of the fire and pulling her in. “I love you. Now and forever.”

Just as the engraving on the ring says. I love you. Now and Forever.

6: Somehow, in the midst of the gift exchange and the confessions of love and the excitement and happiness of it all, they had ended up dancing.

Neither of them could recall who had proposed the idea, even now, but when they swayed to the beat of their hearts, her head against his chest, hands resting on his shoulders and his hands holding her waist with the most content look on both their faces, the couple couldn’t remember ever feeling this at peace.

7: Ending up in a breathless, but most exquisite afterglow such as this was something Katara hadn’t anticipated. The sound of his heartbeat was music to her ears - always had and always would be - as she lay against his slightly heaving chest and basked in the warmth of his skin against hers. She asked herself how an innocent dance around their living room had lead to this, her love still inside her where she decided he truly belonged and his nails raking so delightfully across her scalp.

With a blush, she remembered: maybe her wondering hands were to blame.

It had been a moment she could never forget.

8: Their friends came over for dinner - Katara and Aang’s idea - because surely their first Christmas as husband and wife was something to be celebrated on a grandiose scale! Even the Fire Lord and his wife had vowed that they would be the first to arrive. Though, not everything had gone to plan.

The newlyweds had planned the dinner out to a tee, each element perfected weeks before. Katara would not let anything distract her; apart from her husband, of course, who so often leaned over her shoulder to place a sweet (and admittedly distracting) kiss to her lips, or her cheek, or her jaw in such a bittersweet way instead of chopping the vegetables she had shoved in his direction. She hoped the task would occupy him, but she knew the love of her life better than that.

“Aang, I swear to the spirits, didn’t you get enough earlier?” she giggled, trying her best to focus on seasoning the vegetable broth steaming in a pot in front her and not his hot, wet kisses burning against her neck.

“Not quite...” He hummed against her skin making a shiver run down her spine, arms wrapping possessively (and teasingly) around her waist. “I’ve got plenty of room for dessert.”

9: The Avatar, remembered now with a laugh, that he had underestimated her willpower completely.

“Pass me the carrots, please,”

Aang let out a heavy, bored breath. “Sure.” And she smirked at him deviously, taking the plate from his hands.

“Thanks, sweetie,”

“No problem.” He mumbled, making his way back to his seat at the counter, resuming his chopping.

Aang’s ministrations had gotten him absolutely nowhere. He got nothing but an instant mood killer when she dumped ice down his pants, saying something along the lines of “If you make me mess up you’ll be sleeping alone tonight.”

That sure shut him up.

10: First it was toph as presentable as always, then it was Sokka and his wife, Suki, and then, despite their promise, strode in the Fire Lord and Lady themselves. Little did they know at the time how dinner would turn out.

Zuko, noticed Aang and Katara with a shared laugh, was under the illusion they were right on time, although the abrupt image of a crowded table and filled glasses drained his self-pride instantly.

Mai gave a heavy sigh of embarrassment, leaving his side to take her seat. “If only you didn’t take so long to do your hair, Zuko, then we would have been on time.”

Their friend’s blush was awfully hard to miss. “Mai, that isn’t true and you know it! Tell them that isn’t true!”

It had indeed been very, very true. His perfect top knot definitely showed for it.

11: Someone had brought sweetened rice wine.

Someone.

It didn’t really matter who... but Katara knew fine well her brother had an affinity for trying to get his friends drunk. Her and Aang had been able to pace themselves; however, not as much could be said for the rest of their friends, who, after and mid-way through dinner (which was very favourable and went down extremely well), had polished off at least three bottles of the stuff between them, reducing themselves down to a pack of mumbling, stuttering and hilariously laughable drunkards.

Zuko, who had been the worst of all, laid face down on the table, and Mai, for once, had actually shown some kind of emotion that night thanks to the alcohol in her system as she dazedly laughed at her incapacitated husband. That was another thing hard to forget. Despite their slightly drink induced states, it was hard for the couple to forget the details.

Their table was surrounded by lowered gazes and sloppy sentences, but best of all, some of the most joyous laughter Katara and Aang had ever heard from their friends. It had been going strong all night and was showing no signs of stopping. Everyone was lightening up. Especially Sokka, who didn’t stop to torment the young couple any time they shared a kiss or two. Katara’s eyes grew wide, however, and she ceased from her whispers in her husband's ear when her brother stood up on unsteady legs, eyes directed right to her and Aang.

“To my little sister and her questionable choice of husband-”

“Sokka!”

“I’m only messing with you, little sister, chill out!” 

Aang gave her a smile that told her not to worry, but he was feeling a little flustered when Sokka spoke next - this reaction, he couldn’t blame on the wine.

“Now, Aang...” He slurred with a glass full of wine, all eyes and ears (except Zuko’s) on him. “Considering you love my sister very much-” Katara nudged his shoulder, taking his hand under the table and giving it a squeeze when he turned to kiss her hairline. “A fact you make sure everyone knows with the constant oogies in our faces...” He took another swig from the glass in his hand, Katara frowning a little but Aang laughing it off. “I wanna make a request that you two hurry it along and get to the baby-making!”

Aang went scarlet. Katara was just short of water whipping her brother in the face. Suki was covering her mouth in an attempt to hide the smile. Toph was howling. Zuko was still sleeping and Mai was... well she looked disgusted. And a little green. “...I think I’m gonna throw up.”

“Mai!” Suki scolded, the smile disappearing, and Sokka getting a little frustrated - but too slow to actually say anything about it - that he had been interrupted.

“No, not because of what he said, because of the wi-” And in a split second she was gone and sprinting straight to the sink... followed by the most unpleasant sounds. Just then Zuko lifted his head with a groan.

“Oh, not you too-!”

But he simply slammed it down on the table again, a sigh of relief from Katara. Though that relief was gone quicker than it came when Sokka- “I’m ready to be an Uncle! For crying out loud I’m begging you guys... please!” He looked like a little kid and sounded like one, too.

Her brother was actually crying, and Aang couldn’t help but laugh at the awkwardness of it all. “I mean come on guys... don’t you think I’ve been waiting long enough?!”

The couple had been a blushing mess, but no matter how awkward the conversation had been, it had sparked a question between them. One that has still remained unanswered - though still, it was undeniable. They were simply waiting for the right moment.

After Sokka’s commotion, Katara had turned to him for a moment. Aang watched her as she gazed at him, the smallest of smiles on her lips, and he noticed how her eyes lingered for a moment, just looking at him. Until she turned away and the moment was over like that.

They hadn’t talked about having kids that much, but that moment. That lingering moment. That had felt like a full-blown conversation between them.

One that wasn’t finished.

And after some more talking, some more laughs, and (regrettably for some) more drinking, the Royals were brought to their room, a fed up Suki dragged the mumbling mess that was her boyfriend to theirs, and Toph in her blurry state settled for the bathtub, Katara and Aang were left alone with a half-full bottle of wine.

Suggesting that they drink it by the fire was an idea Aang easily obliged to. Aang got on the couch first and sat sideways with his feet kicked up, Katara eagerly taking the space between his legs and enjoying to feel of his chest rising and falling so peacefully with each breath against her back. She took the first swig, passing the bottle back to his hand that wasn’t wrapped protectively around her waist, stroking her side every now and then. “Classy,” He chuckled, doing exactly as she did, though his swig was a little less generous.

Neither of them was tired, and so they got comfortable.

12: Katara and Aang could both remember, even past the haze that had settled in their minds at the time, how they kissed, and laughed, and reminisced on the first few months of their lives together; all through the night. They thanked each other. For everything. For being there, for making every day that much better, for brightening up the darkest of times and for loving the other unconditionally, swearing to do exactly that for the rest of their lives. Aang remembered how her hands (and words) had taken a turn with one motive in mind; something about making up for earlier that day but in the end, a kiss was enough.

A lengthy one, thick with the influence of alcohol.

They had finished the wine as the fire burned down to a few smouldering flames, but there was no need for it to be lit again. His arms had been wrapped so tightly around her, katara adoring the feeling, and she had been buried into his chest with their legs entangled on the small couch, so secure and so close that they easily kept each other warm without the fire. They remembered the feeling of utter comfort.

His eyes drifted shut, fingers raking through her hair as the slow and steady symphony of her breathing relaxed him further. “Merry Christmas, sweetie. I love you.” She smiled, eyes fluttering closed.

“Merry Christmas, my love.”

Their loving embrace had sent them into deepest slumber: never moving, never waking and without any nightmares to ail their sleep. They remembered what a good sleep it had been. And they knew it was a Christmas they would never forget.

[psychosistr]

Sparks Fly- Part 2 (CaeJose Dancer!AU)

Summary: It’s date night and poor Joseph is all kinds of nervous! Will Caesar see through it long enough to turn this date into a success?

Also: Didn’t state it before, but the name for this part is based off of the song Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift because I felt that it fit the general mood of the date with how confused and nervous but excited and happy Joseph is about all of it. Then, for the dance later, this is the sort of music I picture them dancing to.

Saturday soon arrived and Joseph found herself waiting downstairs in the lobby of her apartment building. Caesar had texted her saying he would be there to pick her up for their date about thirty minutes ago and that he would be there within half an hour. She’d actually been waiting in the lobby for the past five minutes, wanting to make sure she was ready to go when he arrived. She wasn’t normally one to worry about punctuality, but her nerves and the desire to make a good impression on the Italian Casanova gave her the energy to make sure she would DEFINITELY be ready on time.

While waiting, Joseph caught the sight of herself in one of the large glass windows of the lobby. She decided to check her reflection one more time to make sure she looked fine.

Her dress looked as gorgeous as the first time she’d tried it on, so that was good. The jewelry she’d picked out complimented the dress perfectly- the cocktail ring, earrings, and necklace looking lovely next to the green of her gown. She’d decided on a pair of black silk thigh-high stockings to cover her legs and a nice pair of glittery golden mary jane high-heeled platform shoes. She’d argued with herself constantly on the heels, worried that they would make her too tall and that she would fall over as she didn’t have much practice in them- they were almost brand new and she’d only worn them two or three times before- but, in the end, her mother talked her into it and said they added a nice flare of color to her look.

Speaking of her mother, Lisa Lisa had been a big help when it came to Joseph’s hair and makeup. They’d decided to go simple but elegant for the makeup, using deep green eyeshadow in a soft smokey-eye style to match her jewelry, black eyeliner and mascara, black nail polish with both of her index fingers painted glittering gold to offset it, a touch of amber colored blush applied to her cheeks to soften her cheekbones and jawline a bit, and, simply because Joseph couldn’t resist going a LITTLE flashy with her makeup, her lips were painted ombre style with ink black around the edges that melted to gold for the main color. Then, for her hair, they’d decided to smooth down most of her shorter locks and take the bulk of her hair that usually stuck up in the front, braid it, loop the braid around to the side of her head, then pin it there using one of her flower hair pins- this one was a yellow ranunculus with two green leaves.

Logically, she knew that she looked drop-dead gorgeous. Emotionally, though, she was fretting over her appearance. Caesar was way too charming and way too good at flirting (and kissing) to not have gone on several dates with countless women already. Would she measure up to his standards? Would she look like she was trying too hard? Would she-?

Her thoughts were cut off by the muffled sounds of “Mambo Italiano” by Dean Martin.

Joseph looked down to her shimmering golden clutch bag in her hands and opened it up to retrieve her phone. She saw Caesar’s number displayed on her screen and quickly answered it. “Hello?”

“Hey. I just pulled up out front, but I can go park somewhere else if you need a few more minutes.” She could hear the soft sounds of music and the thrum of an engine in the background when he spoke.

“Oh, what a coincidence!” She said with her best “surprised” voice. “I’m actually down in the lobby already. I’ll be right out!” She hung up, took a deep breath, and put her phone back in her bag. “Okay..” She said to herself. “You can do this!”

She took one more breath before going out through the front doors. She looked around, expecting to see Caesar on his bike, but was surprised to see him standing beside a silver Mercedes SLR with the passenger-side butterfly door already open.

Caesar himself was dressed in a rather flashy white and purple suit with the jacket and pants being white and the buttons, some stripes on the pants, and the inner flaps of the jacket being purple; also, when he shifted slightly, she noticed that the shirt beneath the jacket had a dark gray and black striped color scheme. His accessories were equally eye-catching with a green belt decorated with a metallic silver sun, a purple bow tie on a black choker, and a pair of brown fingerless gloves with odd holed-metal plates on the back, the brown gloves matching his surprisingly tame-in-comparison brown dress shoes. The finishing touch, she saw, was that for once he was without his headband, but he kept the feathered clips and donned a black and white checkered top hat on top of his head.

Caesar looked at her as she walked up to the car and his eyes widened as he took in her appearance. “……” Oh god…he wasn’t saying anything…was that bad? Should she go back upstairs and change? Was he having second thoughts? Maybe she should- “Dio mio..” He breathed out as he gazed at her, the earlier wide-eyed look of surprise melting into something filled with awe and adoration. “Sei come qualcosa da un sogno..” He blinked and quickly shook himself out of whatever trance he’d been in from seeing her and stood up straight to greet her properly. He took off his hat with a flourish and bowed. “Sorry to keep you waiting, signorina.”

She smiled a bit, relieved that he seemed happy with how she looked, and walked the last few steps over to him. “Eh, don’t worry about it. Like I said, I was already down here.” She looked him over with a smile, glad that she’d decided to add a bit of flare with her makeup and shoes so as not to be outdone by this showy charmer. “You look really good- I love the hat.”

“Grazie.” Caesar said with that charming smile of his as he flicked the hat skillfully so that it flipped back up onto his head. He took her hand that wasn’t holding her purse and kissed it sweetly. “And you look absolutely stunning, mia splendida dea.”

She blushed a bit, not knowing what the new adjective meant but, knowing Caesar and the context of the compliment, it was something really sweet (she made a mental note to look it up later). “Heh, thanks- thought I’d pull out all the stops, y’know?”

“I’m honored you would go so far for me.” Caesar said with one last kiss to her hand before moving to help her into the car. “Shall we be on our way?”

Joseph couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up inside of her- he was just so cliché and cheesy sometimes, though she found it was cute- but she managed to restrain it to a small chuckle. “Heh, sure.” She held his hand as she got into the passenger’s seat and he even closed the door for her after she made sure none of her dress was sticking out. After he got in on his side and they were both buckled up with the radio turned down to a dull hum so they could talk, Joseph took a good look at the expensive car. “I thought you said you didn’t own a car?”

“I don’t. This belongs to a close friend of mine. I set him up with his girlfriend about a year ago, and now they’re engaged. Seeing as I helped him find the love of his life, he figured it was only fair to loan me his car so I could attempt to do the same.” Caesar said while driving down the street, eyes on the road but one hand reaching over to hold her own hand. “Besides, I wanted to pick you up in something stylish: I do love my bike, but it is hardly suitable for a romantic evening in formal wear.”

Joseph’s cheeks felt warm as she smiled and held his hand. The comment about finding the love of his life was not lost on her and it made her heart flutter in her chest. “Well, maybe we can save it for next time. After all, first dates are supposed to be fancy, but second or third dates can be more relaxed, right?” She said as she watched the scenery go by.

“Ah, you are quite right, mia bellisima angela.” Caesar said with a smile, his thumb stroking along the back of her hand. “Perhaps next time we can go for that race I promised you.”

She looked back at him with a challenging smirk. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I’ve still gotta kick your ass and show you the brilliance of British engineering!” Joseph froze up slightly after realizing what she’d just said. Shit! She shouldn’t be swearing on a date! That wasn’t very dignified or lady-like at all and she was trying to make a good impression on him! She decided to quickly change the topic, her smirk trying to force itself down into a calmer smile. “So, where are we going tonight, anyway?” She tried to be smooth with her word choice, but she still felt nervous over her earlier slip up.

Caesar cast a slightly confused and curious glance in her direction while they were stopped at a red light, but his eyes quickly snapped back to the road when the light turned green and they continued driving. Crap, was she too obvious? “Oh, I know a good place that prepares actual, authentic Italian food- not this Americanized junk that some New Yorkers try to pass off as Italian.” The way his face scrunched up briefly in distaste at the apparent “junk” he’d tasted before was adorable and it made Joseph muffle a quiet laugh behind her free hand as he continued. “Anyway, the owner is an old family friend and I pulled some strings to set up something special.”

“Something special?” Joseph echoed with a curious tilt of her head and a grin. “What did you do, you clever Casanova?”

He merely smirked and winked at her using the side of his face closest to her. “That, my dear, is a surprise that you shall have to wait and see.”

Joseph gave him a fake pout and barely resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him. “Fiiiine. I’ll be patient, I guess.” She said with a sarcastically fake put-out tone of voice before breaking into a grin alongside Caesar.

So far so good. Joseph could do this, no sweat!

Arriving at the restaurant blew Joseph’s previous round of nerves out of the water…and replaced them with an even bigger ball of straight-up anxiety.

Joseph had seen the small brick restaurant with ivy growing along the walls several times on TV and in magazines. It was one of the most well-known places in the city, but she’d never actually eaten there because it was the kind of place where if you didn’t have a reservation set up weeks or months in advance, then there was absolutely NO WAY to get a table. It had been a fixture in the city for decades, was one of the top ten most romantic restaurants in New York, and was located right beside the river to give a gorgeous view of the water, as well as the city.

Joseph was about to ask Caesar if they were in the right place because, seriously, there’s no way he actually got them a table here, right? They’d only made plans to go out a few days ago, so there had to be some mistake, right?

But, no, it was very clearly the right place as Caesar got out of the car, greeted the valet with a smile that spoke of familiarity while handing off the car keys, then walked over to Joseph’s door and opened it for her while offering her his hand. “Come, we should head inside before they give our table away.” He joked with that charming smile once again.

“Uh, y-yeah, right..” Joseph took his hand and stepped out of the car. She was still stunned to think that Caesar went to so much trouble for her and her mind was trying to catch up to the situation at hand.

Joseph allowed Caesar to guide her to the front doors, walking confidently past the long line of people outside and going straight inside. Caesar ignored the glares sent his way for getting to skip the line of impatient socialites and Joseph did her best to avoid eye contact with them (several of which she recognized due to her own social status) as they went towards the host’s stand.

The dark haired host seemed to recognize Caesar as quickly as the valet had and greeted him with a smile. “Caesar! Good to see you!”

Caesar smiled back at him. “You as well, Ricci. Is Emilio still here? He had a table prepared for us.”

“Ah, yes, of course.” The host nodded and gestured at one of the waitresses. “I’ll let him know you’re here. In the meantime, why don’t you two go have a seat?”

“Grazie, amico.” Caesar said with a tip of his hat before leading Joseph to follow the waitress.

Along the way he also ended up waving to the bartender, the live band playing in the corner of the restaurant, and a few of the waiters- each person he greeted smiling and waving or nodding back to him.

“Wow..” Joseph commented as they carefully walked through the busy restaurant. “You must come here a lot.” She was partly curious about that, but, mostly, she was trying to distract herself from the odd stares that people were giving her.

Her body must have tensed slightly from her nerves, because she felt Caesar’s hand giving her own a reassuring squeeze as he replied to her comment. “As I said, the owner is a good friend and he often keeps a special table set aside for me.”

To Joseph’s relief, they were led outside to a much quieter, and far more intimate, location. The waitress took them through a side door out to a small veranda overlooking the river. There was only one table set out there, kept tucked away by the wall just out of sight of the patrons within, giving the guests who used it a chance to eat and talk and enjoy the same view without all the noise of the full room inside.

Joseph smiled a little as she looked at the table, it was small enough that they would be able to hold hands or lean in close if they wanted to while still being big enough to accommodate them both properly. It was covered by an embroidered red table cloth and even had a three-candle candelabra burning in the middle. ‘Damn, that’s REALLY romantic.’ Joseph thought to herself as the waitress set their menus and silverware down for them.

Caesar pulled a chair out for her and gave a bow of his head. “Ladies first.”

“Thanks.” Joseph couldn’t help but grin as she took her seat, Caesar pushing the chair in for her before taking his own across from her. “I swear, you must watch nothing but cheesy romance movies.”

“I would say I watch a healthy amount.” He replied with a wink. He then turned his attention to the waitress. “Could you ask Gabriele for one of my usual bottles?” He paused a moment before looking at Joseph. “Oh, sorry, I should ask first- are you okay with red wine? I can order something else, if you’d prefer.”

Joseph quickly shook her head. “No, no, red wine’s fine- I’ve had it plenty of times at parties and stuff.” She gave him a slightly challenging smile, the urge to tease him a little bubbling up again. “Besides, I wanna see what sort of ‘special treatment’ they give you here, Caesarino.”

Caesar’s cheeks turned the tiniest bit red from the nickname and when the waitress hid a giggle behind her notepad before he dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “Very well, then- you shall have the full experience.”

“Oh, now I’m excited.” She teased again before she decided to reign it back in. Guys got annoyed if you teased them too much, right? She should change the subject and try to seem more grateful for being here (which she was, definitely, she just couldn’t help her natural disposition). Picking up her menu, Joseph read through the choices. There was almost nothing she recognized on here, even with her mom’s cooking history. She recognized some of the basics like caprese salad, spaghetti, and mozzarella sticks, along with certain soups and salads, but she was otherwise lost. “So, since you’re a regular here, what would you recommend?”

Caesar gave her that same look he had in the car earlier when she tried to change topics, but he quickly shook it off and his face lit up as he reached over and pointed out a few things on the menu as he spoke, clearly happy to show off his knowledge of authentic Italian cuisine. “Well, there’s a good variety to choose from depending on what you are in the mood for. I grew up eating a lot of my mother’s Neapolitan style cooking, so I’m a bit partial to certain dishes they have here, but the variety in general is excellent. For an appetizer, I would recommend anything with their buffalo mozarella- it’s made fresh every day and has excellent flavor and texture. My favorite appetizers are the fresh caprese salad when the tomatoes are in season, and the fried mozzarella the rest of the year- the actual slices of pan-fried of mozzarella, that is, not just the deep fried sticks.” His hand moved over to the main courses section as he continued. “You mentioned before that your favorite food is fried chicken, right? Then you would probably enjoy the mozzarella stuffed chicken parmesan they serve here, or the spicy chicken cacciatore. If you want something exotic, I’d recommend the spaghetti al nero di sepia.- it’s spaghetti in a squid ink sauce.”

Joseph made an odd face at the idea. “Squid ink? Does that actually taste good, or is it just something Italians use as a way to make fun of tourists?” Seriously, squid ink on pasta? That just sounded weird…

Caesar grinned and laughed at her words as well as the face she made, but shook his head. “No, it’s an actual dish and it’s quite delicious. Though, it does startle a few people who try it for the first time when it turns their mouths black.” He tapped a few other entries, his smile looking almost nostalgic. “My personal favorites, though, are the pasta ai fagioli- that’s pasta with beans-, their ragu dishes- pasta with a delicious meat and tomato sauce-, and the pasta alla Genovese- that’s ziti pasta with a white sauce and beef and onions.”

Joseph smiled fondly as she listened to him talk. “Are those some childhood favorites?”

Caesar’s smile softened as he looked down at the words on the menu. “Yes. Those were my mother’s best dishes. She would often make those for special occasions, such as holidays or one of our birthdays. That was the one advantage of coming from a big family- we had plenty of birthdays spaced throughout the year, so we got to have her special recipes fairly often, but not so often that they became any less special.”

Joseph noticed how Caesar’s smile, while fondly nostalgic, held a bittersweet sadness to it. “Has it been a while since you’ve had any of it?” She guessed, knowing she had hit the mark when he glanced away to the river.

“Yeah..” He sighed a little, bringing his hand back to lean against it as he gazed wistfully at the water and passing boats. “Coming here is nice, but I do miss the home-cooked quality her meals had..”

Joseph felt a tug on her heart strings seeing the slight sadness in Caesar’s eyes. She knew a bit about his past, the part about him being a street thug when he was younger, but he hadn’t really talked much about his family before. Hell, she didn’t even know why he left home, both his family’s home and his home country, to come all the way out to America. She imagined it must have been a painful story for him…

“Well then,” She began while reaching across the table to gently grab his other hand, catching him by surprise and making him look back at her. “I guess you’ll have to teach me how to make them sometime. That way you won’t have to go out and spend a fortune here whenever you want something to eat, and I’ll get to impress you yet again with my culinary genius.” She grinned at him and squeezed his hand in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.

Caesar gave her that same look of awe he’d had when he picked her up earlier. “……” His expression melted back into a smile that spoke of adoration and fondness once again, his hand turning over so he could lace his fingers together with hers. “Si…I would like that, Jojo.”

They smiled and gazed at each other, the only sound around them the muffled chatter from inside and the gentle crashing of the waves from the riverbank.

They decided on the fried mozzarella- both the slices and the sticks, simply because Joseph was still a bit of a kid at heart- for their appetizer. Caesar ordered the weird squid ink pasta just to goad Joseph into trying a bite. It was actually GOOD! Who would’ve thought?! She ended up stealing a few more bites just because she liked the taste, though it was funny to see Caesar’s lips turning black as he ate- their lips almost matching by the end of the meal. Joseph herself decided to try the bowtie pasta (she already forgot the fancy Italian name that Caesar told her for it) with the ragu sauce that Caesar seemed so fond of. She gladly shared some of hers, too, since she’d taken a fair share of bites from Caesar’s plate already.

Everything was delicious, from the wine Caesar ordered to the main courses. Even the free bread was tastier than most places she’d been to! Caesar happily showed her how to serve it with the olive oil and balsamic that was placed on the table for the bread and it made it taste even better.

Part of her felt a little bad for not being aware of how much everything cost. This was one of those fancier restaurants where they didn’t put the prices on the menu- one of those, “if you have to ask, you probably can’t afford to eat here anyway” deals, she presumed. She knew that she could definitely afford it, but she didn’t want to make Caesar pay that much for her. Joseph brought up the subject of paying for herself or splitting the bill, but Caesar firmly yet politely informed her that he would not allow a lady to pay for herself on the first date, no matter the cost. After a brief debate on the matter, Caesar ultimately won and reaffirmed that he would be paying this time, but Joseph only allowed it on the condition that she pay for him the next time they went out.

When it came time to order dessert, a short, older man with tan skin and dark hair walked out with a big smile on his face. “Haha! There he is! E 'bello vederti, bambino!”

“Emilio! Bello vederti, amico mio!” Caesar looked at the man with a big smile and stood to greet him, the two engaging in a quick, friendly hug.

When they separated, the shorter man looked at Joseph with what could only be described as a proud smile. “Ah, and this must be the lovely signorina you spoke so highly of!”

Caesar’s cheeks turned a touch red and he coughed into his fist to clear his throat, muttering something in Italian that Joseph wouldn’t really understand or remember. “Potresti tenerlo segreto, Emilio?”

“Io non la penso così.” Emilio shot Caesar a smirk before returning his attention to Joseph. “Caesar was awfully excited to bring you here- he kept calling every night to make sure we’d remember to set his table aside for you two.”

Joseph smirked conspiratorially at Emilio, her tone clearly teasing Caesar as she took in this new information. “Oh did he now?”

Emilio chuckled as he pretended to think back on their conversations. “Si. He kept insisting how important tonight was, and how he ‘could absolutely not afford to mess this up for any reason or he would never be able to forgive himself’- though I may be paraphrasing a bit.”

“You don’t say..” Joseph grinned at Caesar, the blonde’s face now completely red as he hid his head in his hands.

“Per favore..” Caesar groaned as the two continued to grin and chuckle at his expense. “Please stop..I am literally begging you..”

Emilio laughed and patted Caesar on the back good-naturedly while continuing his conversation with Joseph. “I haven’t seen l'insalata del bambino blush like that since he was smaller than me! Haha! It is too cute!”

Joseph couldn’t help giggling at Caesar’s flustered state- it was nice to see him losing his cool for a change. “What does that name mean? I got ‘bambino’, but what’s the rest?”

Caesar looked up from his hands to glare at Emilio. “Rispondetela e non parlerò mai più con voi!”

The shorter Italian just smirked wickedly while leaning close to Joseph as if whispering a secret. Joseph happily leaned in to hear him clearly. “It’s a nickname from when he was a little bambino. He HATES it. It means..” He leaned in closer and she cupped a hand around her ear exaggeratedly to hear his stage-whisper. “Baby salad.”

A hysterical fit of laughter rang out from Joseph and she threw her head back to let it out properly. “BABY SALAD?!!” She laughed so hard that she had to grip the table, otherwise she would risk falling out of her chair. “OH MY GOD!! That is too funny!”

Caesar’s face turned a darker shade of red and he buried his face in his hands once more with a muffled scream. “Auugh! Ti odio!”

Emilio laughed along with Joseph, the two having tears in their eyes by the time they were done. The short man wiped his eyes with his hand while Joseph pulled a tissue out of her purse to dab at her eyes and, mostly, avoid smudging her makeup. “I hope you make good use of that nickname, signorina.”

“Oho, I definitely will, thanks.” Joseph said with a devious grin. Oh, she already had plans for all manner of teasing floating through her mind.

Caesar shoved at Emilio with a glare, his cheeks still red. “You just had to say something, didn’t you?”

Emilio easily ignored the half-hearted shove while looking up at Caesar. “But of course! No one else is around to embarrass you in front of your date, so I have to do it myself!” He laughed again at Caesar’s annoyed glare before looking back to Joseph. “Now then, signorina, I am certain you can handle yourself..but, if this boy gives you any trouble or treats you like anything less than a proper gentleman, you come right in and tell me and I’ll set him straight, alright?”

“You’ll be the first to know.” Joseph replied with a smile, one that was born from both amusement at Caesar’s embarrassment and the genuine sweetness and concern of the older gentleman.

Having said what he wanted to say (and thoroughly embarrassed Caesar), Emilio took their dessert orders and let them be once more.

Caesar sat back down heavily in his chair, holding his face with one hand. “I am truly sorry about that interruption. Emilio, he…” He heaved a long suffering sigh and rubbed at his eyes with his thumb and index finger “He does what he wants, despite what others ask him.”

Joseph grinned smugly and reached across the table to flick the blonde’s hat playfully. “Oh, I don’t mind him one bit, my little salad~<3” She teased with a wink.

He looked up at her with a light glare and readjusted his hat, muttering something in Italian under his breath. “Accidenti a te, vecchio…”

Joseph flinched slightly at the glare and pulled her hand back. Crap, was that going too far? She should probably save the teasing for later in the relationship. Was there a set time limit on when it was okay to tease your boyfriend like that? Wait, was it too soon to be thinking of him as a boyfriend? She didn’t know any of the rules for this! Damn it, she needed to change the subject before she blew it!

“Sooo..” She began while placing her hands on the table in front of herself, desperately searching for anything else to talk about. “I know I got that tasty looking chocolate panna cotta for my dessert, what was that pastry thing you’re getting called again? You said something about it looking like a shell?”

Again, Caesar gave her a look that was partly curious, but mostly confused. “It’s called sfogliatelle.” He answered shortly before reaching across the table to gently touch her hand. “Jojo, is something wrong? That’s the third time tonight you’ve done that.”

“Huh? Done what?” She tried to bluff her way out of the situation by playing innocent.

The act apparently failed when Caesar gave her a troubled, worried frown. “You keep changing the subject. On top of that, you keep choosing safe, generic small talk to distract from what you said before.” His frown grew a bit more and he looked even more worried. “Are you..not enjoying yourself..?”

Joseph quickly shook her head, holding his hand with both of hers to get her sentiment across clearly. “No! I mean, yes, I am, and no, that-that’s not it at all! I’m having a great time with you, Caesar, really! It’s just…” She trailed off, glancing away nervously.

Should she tell him? He was always so patient and understanding with her. Then again, everyone’s patience had a limit. Would this be his? Damn it, she wasn’t used to feeling this confused!

“Just what?” Caesar prompted while bringing his other hand closer to cup the back of hers and rub it soothingly. “What is troubling you, mia dolce angela?”

Ah, another new adjective she’d have to look up later. “……” She took a deep breath to calm herself, as she had done earlier in the night. She still couldn’t meet his eyes, choosing instead to focus on their joint hands. “It’s just…I..I don’t want to mess this up..”

Caesar raised an eyebrow, looking more confused than concerned now. “Mess it up? How on earth do you think you could manage that?”

“I don’t know.” She answered with a slightly annoyed sigh, the annoyance focused completely against herself. “I’m just freaking out because I really like you and I want to make this work and I don’t want to make a fool out of myself by saying something stupid or doing something that pisses you off because then you might get annoyed and won’t want to go out with me again and then I’ll be kicking myself for screwing things up so badly with the first guy that ever asked me out-” God, she was rambling now, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop the words that just continued falling from her lips. “-and you clearly put so much thought into all of this with the fancy restaurant, and the car, and the outfit, and I’m freaking out more because I don’t know if I’m actually worth all the trouble you went to for tonight and it just all freaks me out because this is all new to me and I have absolutely NO idea what I’m doing and now I probably sound like a crazy person to you for worrying so much over what must seem like nothing to you since you’ve clearly been out on a bunch of dates before, but I haven’t so I don’t know what’s okay and what’s not okay and I just REALLY want you to like me enough to go out with me again because I’m really happy being with you, damn it!” She finished her rambling and gasped hard, trying to replenish the air she’d just drained from her lungs.

“……” Caesar seemed stunned, busy taking in and processing everything Joseph just told him. When he finally finished sorting through her mashed together words, though, he lifted his hand and gently tipped her chin up with one finger to make her look at his face again. He had that warm, kind, patient, understanding smile on his face that instantly put her at ease. “I think we both may have been trying too hard tonight.” Then, to Joseph’s surprise and slight confusion, Caesar got to his feet and walked around to her side of the table. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, brought something up on it that she didn’t have a chance to see, then set it down on the table before gently pulling her to her feet. As Joseph rose out of her seat, she heard music fill the air around them from speakers hidden along the sides of the building that she couldn’t see- it was a beautiful waltz melody, but a bit more upbeat and modern with a slightly gothic sound. Looking at her with a far more relaxed smile, Caesar kept one hand clasped around hers while the other moved to her waist. “How about, instead of trying to be something we’re not, we both just relax and do what comes naturally?”

Joseph felt her heart skip as she looked him in the eyes. She looked into those gorgeous green eyes and saw no ulterior motives, no flirty playfulness, no charming mask- she only saw Caesar. She saw a man who was clearly enjoying having her with him and who wanted to relax and enjoy himself with her.

A relaxed smile slid across Joseph’s face to match Caesar’s as she held his hand and brought her own free hand up to rest on his shoulder. “I think I’d like that, Caesarino.”

They began to sway in time with the music, already finding the rhythm with it and each other almost instantly. The swaying quickly turned into measured steps and quick turns. Before long they were dancing together with the same energy, passion, and chemistry they always had when they danced together in class.

Caesar would guide her down into a graceful dip, able to easily hold her weight without breaking a sweat. He would raise one hand above both of their heads so she could spin smoothly on one leg, the slit in the dress allowing an ideal range of motion for her legs. He would grab her around the waist and lift her off the ground as they spun together in large circles.

At one point, a sly grin slipped across his face and he moved his thumbs a certain way and she heard a “click” sound come from his gloves. She gave him a questioning look, but before she could voice her curiosity she noticed the holes on the back of those odd metal plates opening up as well as a couple of smaller panels on the sides that she hadn’t noticed before slipping open too. She noticed some sort of clear liquid moving just beneath the surface of the holes.

Then, on the next spin they executed together, she saw them:

Bubbles.

As they moved together seamlessly, the gloves on Caesar’s hands seemed to take in air from the panels on the sides before coming out through the holes on the back of the metal plates as bubbles. Soon the floating orbs filled the air around them, catching the lights from both the city in the distance and the windows of the restaurant that neither noticed they’d moved in front of while dancing due to being caught up in their own little world.

“So, what do you think?” Caesar asked while dipping Joseph down gracefully, the sly grin still on his face. “I used to do odd jobs as an engineer- I made these using some spare parts I found.”

Joseph was still in awe of the bubbles floating around them, but she soon came back to herself and smiled at Caesar as he brought her back upright. “Flashy and fashionable. I like it!” She laughed while spinning around on one leg, trusting Caesar to keep her from falling. “You certainly planned for every possibility, didn’t you?”

“Yeah..” Caesar’s earlier grin softened into something calmer and even a touch melancholic. “I was nervous about tonight too..” He admitted as he let her finish her spin, ending it with her back to his chest and the hand that was still holding hers crossed over her waist as he held her close. “I ran through countless lists in my mind about what could go wrong and how to prevent it, as well as ways to impress you whenever the opportunity presented itself.” He held her to him while they swayed to the music, his free hand tracing along the lace of her sleeve to hold her other hand as well. “As much as I hate him for saying it, Emilio was right: I was sweating over every little detail because I knew that if I messed this up..I would never be able to forgive myself..”

Joseph spared him a confused glance over her shoulder. “Huh? How could YOU mess this up? You clearly know what you’re doing- hell, I’d bet you’ve dated at least fifty girls before me!” She was joking slightly on that part, but, in reality, she supposed it could be possible- he never really talked to her about any past girlfriends, after all.

She felt a quiet chuckle rumble through his chest where it was still touching her back. “I stopped counting a long time ago, but you might be right.” He was silent for a little while after that, slowly turning her around in his arms so that they were facing each other properly again as they moved together in slow steps and spins across the ground. “I did not want to say anything before, when you thought that I was dating Suzi behind your back..but..there was a time not too long ago when you may have been right to assume such a thing about me…” He looked so pained, like he had a deep, burning guilt on his conscience that was eating him alive. “During my street thug days, I was…well, to say I was not a good person would be putting it mildly..” He lamented with a sad smile. “I went through each day not caring if I would live to see the next or not and thought little of the consequences of my actions. I got into fights without caring if I was attacked later for revenge. I stole from people without caring if I would be arrested. I hurt and used people without caring if I would ever see them again.” He looked down, avoiding her eyes like he was ashamed to meet her earnest, caring gaze. “I went out with many girls and women when I was young, but I never truly felt anything for them. I would see women who looked lonely and woo them with a charming smile or a flashy gesture, then leave them after I’d had my fun..I never thought I did anything wrong, even though I’m sure now that I left many of them broken hearted and alone..” Joseph could tell how much it pained him to admit that, and she couldn’t blame him- admitting you used to date girls only to leave after a one-night stand wasn’t exactly the coolest thing to talk about, but he seemed like he needed to get it off of his chest. “I lived my life that way for a while..but..I have tried to distance myself from the person I used to be: I still fight, but I try to only do it for a good reason. Earning an honest living can be hard at times, but I feel better knowing that I am no longer stealing people’s wallets just to get by. Also…” He took a slow, even breath before looking up to meet Joseph’s eyes once again, his own bright green eyes shining with a sincerity and strong sense of conviction that made her breath catch in her throat. “You are the only woman I have had any interest in at all for the past two years. If I am being completely honest, you are really the only woman whom I have EVER had any genuine feelings for. I wanted tonight to go perfectly so that I could prove I was worthy of your time and attention- so that I could continue seeing you as often as possible and hold you and kiss you and tell you how lovely and amazing you truly are.” His smile lightened slightly at his confession, one hand sliding around her waist again as he leaned her back slowly. “You may find it a huge cliché for me to say such a thing, but..”

Joseph reached up and put one hand on his cheek, gazing up into his eyes with a playful but understanding smile. “Now you’ll say ‘You’re different from the other girls- you are the first woman I’ve ever fallen for, Jojo’, and then you’ll lean in for a kiss.”

“You’re different from the other girls- you are the first woman I’ve ever fallen for, Jojo.” He said before leaning down with her in an elegant dip so he could kiss her lips. Just as his lips made contact with hers, he finally realized what just happened. “!!”

He seemed mildly startled, looking like he might pull away to say something, but Joseph was having none of that. “Mhh..” She moved the hand that had been on his cheek around to the back of his neck and held him in place so she could kiss him properly.

She’d done research since their last kiss and now had a better understanding of what to do between that and what she’d learned from kissing Caesar already: Tilt the head slightly to find a more comfortable angle. Breathe through the nose to make the kiss last longer. Purse the lips in smooth motions back and forth, responding to how your partner moves theirs.

Caesar was again surprised by her boldness, but did not seem to mind if the way he held her closer and sighed silently through his nose was any indication. “Hmh..” The kiss lasted much longer than their first one, the two of them taking their time to fully enjoy the experience. By the time they finally pulled apart (only by an inch or two so they were still practically breathing each other’s air), they had matching red cheeks and black lips- a combination of Joseph’s lipstick and the squid ink from Caesar’s pasta. “Jojo..” Caesar said while gazing at her with awe and pure, loving adoration. The smile on his face was so warm, so genuine, so clearly and completely Caesar that it made Joseph’s heart melt. “I may grow tired of that trick one day, but I don’t see that day coming for many years.”

Joseph’s heart pounded at the meaning behind his words and she smiled back up at him, sharing that hope and desire for the future with him. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?”

<-Previous Part Next Part->

-From the Beginning-

Italian Translations:

“Sei come qualcosa da un sogno..”  - “You’re like something from a dream..”

“E 'bello vederti, bambino!” - “It’s good to see you, boy!”

“Bello vederti, amico mio!” - “Good to see you, my friend!”

“Potresti tenerlo segreto, Emilio?” - “Could you keep that a secret, Emilio?”

“Io non la penso così.” - “I don’t think so.”

“Rispondetela e non parlerò mai più con voi!” - “Answer her and I’ll never talk to you again!”

“Ti odio!” - “I hate you!”

“Accidenti a te, vecchio…” - “Damn you, old man...”

Also, the new nicknames he drops for her are “splendid/gorgeous goddess” and “sweet angel”.

[fantasticworldoffanfics]

PETER/STILES

                                           ——— (part 4) ——–

Fandom: TeenWolf

Even a longer list of fanfics :)….

top favourites, more top favourites, part 1, part 2, part 3

Bittersweet Creek

Author: Guede

Summary: When Stiles finally steps off the westward trail to California, he’s the last of his pack. He starts building a den, but then he finds a dying man next to a burnt-down house and it turns out he’s not really much of a settler, after all.

The Glade

Author: makingitwork

Summary: We do what they want and what we want they make us want.

Hollow Moon

Author: Bootsrcool

Summary: What if Stiles got bit instead of Scott?But wait! Is that Peter? The man he gives flowers to in the hospital cause he never sees anyone give the comatose man flowers? Peter? Your awake?!Its a fix-it, cause I cant resist!

The Shepherd Boy and the Wolves

Author: Guede

Summary: After Derek’s nearly seduced by a hunter into betraying his family, his mother thinks it’s a good idea to send him out into the world and learn how not to fall for traps like that. Peter comes along, because Peter likes exploring, and that’s why they decide to explore a haunted mountain.Stiles lives on that mountain. With his sheep. They’re very tasty-looking, and well, Derek and Peter are werewolves.Hah.

Temporary Claim

Author: run_for_me

Summary: Some, of course, are off limits. Queen Talia and her husband have their special favorites who join their marriage bed from time to time. Laura has several young strapping men that are hers and hers alone. Even Derek has a few favorites—the quiet ones, the sweet ones.Peter? The Duke only has one.

Hooked

Author: Udunie

Summary: The car stopped right by him, so he pushed himself away from the wall, walking up to it, licking his lips as he saw the window being lowered.“Hey there,” he said. The first contact always felt awkward, no matter how many times he did it. But at least he knew that he would be A-okay once he was on his knees, sucking the guy like there was no tomorrow.He was a bit taken aback when he saw the driver, because… well, the man was hot as burning. Older, around forty, with a goatee and eyes so blue they sent a shiver down his spine.Stiles had the instinctive urge to back away. It didn’t add up. The guy oozed confidence, had money and was handsome. Absolutely no reason to hire a hooker, when anyone would have wept in joy to get on his dick.“How much for a night?” he asked, giving Stiles a long, calculating look.He should have just sent him away, he knew it. But the deadline on the rent was scratching at the back of his mind, not letting him think clearly. Stiles bit his lip. Fuck it.

The Pack Comes First

Author: RebaK1tten

Summary: The Hale Pack and the McCall Pack have bordering territories and both can benefit from being affiliated with each other. And the surest way to do that is for a mating between a member of each pack.

Soul Hates

Author: TriscuitsandSoup

Summary: Stiles always knew that Peter Hale was his soulmate, he just didn't expect that Peter's was somebody else.“I found the documents, Peter,” Stiles said, his teeth grinding together in a hiss. “I found them. My name was never on your arm. You. Lied.”

Wrong But You’re SO Much Fun

Author: sneksonaplane

Summary: The first night Stiles added Ian on snapchat, they sexted for half the night and he came three times. And now Stiles was...here. He’d been talking to the older man for three weeks now and was officially hooked. It wasn’t like they had anything official going, there certainly weren’t feelings involved, they were just friends who sexted a lot. And talked every night, usually until Stiles passed out from exhaustion. And he called Ian Daddy sometimes when they messaged each other. No big deal.

OR

the one where Stiles runs a porn blog and has a major daddy kink, and he starts anonymously sexting with Peter without either of them realizing it. Both of them use nicknames to avoid giving out their real names on the internet, and Peter's fake name/nickname that he uses when he first starts talking to Stiles is "Ian" because I'm garbage. Expect errors and poor formatting because I'm betaless.

Worn Out Shoes

Author: moonstalker24

Summary: When the dead rise, and the world comes to an end, the McCall Pack must learn to live in this new world, or die in the attempt. This is the story of the end, and of the year that follows.

Taste, Touch Fuck

Author: about_two_cats

Summary: Peter comes home to the smell of Omega filling up the apartment. He knows it can come from only one source, the adorable little omega he’s with, Stiles. He follows his nose and finds Stiles ready for a good fucking.

Not Meek, Not Biddable, Too Unconventional So Very Stiles

Author: ladyoneill

Summary: In a world where Betas have become the norm, but Alphas are still the leaders, the wealthy, the powerful, Omegas are very rare and the only ones who can birth or sire Alphas with other Alphas. Born to two Betas, raised as a Beta, of course Stiles presents as an Omega on his sixteenth birthday because his life sucks that way. One month later is his ceremony where technically he chooses an Alpha as his mate for the rest of their lives, and Stiles is given three options. One isn't ever going to happen, a second doesn't really want him, so he chooses the third--a man twice his age, scarred and just out of a six year coma. Scared, because he has very few rights and this stranger can do anything to him, control any aspect of his life, and Stiles isn't a stereotypical submissive Omega happy to be home ironing shirts and suckling babies, he's surprised to find that Peter isn't a stereotype either (for one, he's a damn good cook). Is it possible that his life won't suck that much after all?

Whose Woods These Are

Author: moonstalker24

Summary: Stiles chooses the house simply because it’s far enough out in the wilderness to be away. His… reticence for human contact on any given day coincides entirely with how much pain he’s in when he wakes up the morning. His patience is limited, and he has more bad days than good… So Stiles moves into an old house out in the woods like a creepy serial killer. Reminds himself that other people suck on a regular basis and just sort of gets on with it… It isn’t until after several sightings that Stiles realizes that the wolf is following him. If the wolf decides it wants to eat him, Stiles would be a pretty easy meal….

A Little Too Ironic

Author: RebaK1tten

Summary: Stiles is an omega who needs to find a trusted alpha, purely for legal reasons. Peter Hale is probably not his first choice.

Love What is Behind You

Author: KouriArashi

Summary: Basically what it says on the label. Hunger Games type fusion. Stiles doing way better than anyone anticipates. Peter finds him intriguing. Ruthless, devious assholes working together to ruin bad guys, as the Steter ship is meant to be.

Misconception

Author: TriscuitsandSoup

Summary: After weeks of trying Stiles is still unable to get pregnant. He struggles with depression and anxiety, and worries his alphas might choose to leave him for another omega.“Oh god,” he breathed, fumbling out another test from the box. He almost dropped it twice. Twenty minutes later he had another result, just as conclusive as the first. Not pregnant. Not pregnant. Not pregnant.

I Don’t Like You, But I Love You

Author: sweetbutterbliss

Summary: He smells him before he sees him, the scent competing over the sticky smell of stale beer and sweat. It smells like burnt sugar, a little bitter mixed in with the sweetness. He leaves the paperwork on the desk and steps out of his office, passing the bathrooms that he can tell Erica still hasn't cleaned.A lithe, what Peter could only describe as a boy is standing in the middle of the empty bar, one hand gripping the dolly's handle full of boxes of Hair of the Dog; one of the few werewolf beers that doesn't taste of ass. (And Peter would know.) His mouth is slightly parted as he surveys the bar and Peter suppressed thoughts of what he could put in that mouth.

Stiles the Strange Pet

Author: TriscuitsandSoup

Summary: Peter welcomes a strange new house guest.

All Hale

Author: dornfelder

Summary: Stiles wakes from the absence of warmth at his back and the sound of a toilet flushing. He moves his tongue from where it’s stuck to his palate and filling his mouth with the taste of stale death. Blinking gritty, itching eyes open, he finds the world too bright, too real to deal with just yet. He snuggles up closer to Derek, burrowing into his bulk. Derek’s reaction is a content rumble. He pulls Stiles closer. Beard stubble grazes his neck as Derek opens one sleepy eye.Wait – wait. What. The fuck?Stiles sits up. Derek’s arm falls from his waist and he watches Derek’s eyes grow wide with dawning horror that mirrors his own.“Good morning, my lovelies,” Peter’s cheerful voice announces from the doorstep. “Rise and shine. Early wolf catches the deer.”

Starverse

Author: Green

Part 1: All My Stars Aligned

Summary: Stiles needs to find an alpha ASAP. Actually, the doctors say he really needs two. Damn biology.Chris and Peter are two alphas in hopeless, doomed love with each other.

Part 2: Starcrossed

Summary: That was where it started, when their eyes met, and Chris smiled. Peter melted and fell in love in an instant, and kept falling in love every single time he dared to look again.

^sidenote: nearly made it to my TOP FAVS list

The Sphinx of Beacon Hills

Author: Guede

Summary: Stiles is a sphinx, and he’s winging his way to visit his buddy Scott when a storm drops him in Beacon Hills, the craziest, crankiest, coldest place ever. And somehow, he ends up with a bunch of werewolves.

Talia’s Master Plan For Love

Author: Irukashi_Narukib

Summary: Basically Peter wants nothing to do with this but can't avoid it. Same with Stiles but shit happens anyway. HAHA fuck them both.

Born Of Shadows

Author: xxxillusionxxx

Summary: Something is strange about Stiles and Peter is the only one who seems to notice.

Wake Me Up

Author: ToAStranger

Summary: Stiles has been in a coma for six years. Now he's awake.

The High is Worth the Pain

Author: thegirlwhoknits

Summary: Stiles is an emissary-in-training whose teacher has sent him to Peter for his first-level initiation tattoo. The only problem is, Stiles has a kind of embarrassing reaction to pain...

Suppressants are Dumb Anyway Series

Author: vaudevillian_villainess

Part 1: Good Little Omega

Summary: Stiles is such a good little omega for his Alpha.Series

Part 2: The Price of Love

Summary: Peter and Stiles have to tell everyone about their mating...fun times!

A Welcome Arrow

Author: 1001cranes

Summary: The wedding is small and grim, because Stiles is being carted off to parts unknown, married to a thirty-something year old dude who wants to marry a seventeen year old dude - totally not creepy at all. Regency AU.

Name

Author: Corpium

Summary: When Stiles goes back in time to save Paige and stop Gerard, he doesn't expect Peter Hale.

Pigments and Pentacles Series

Author: SushiOwl

Part 1: Magic Needle

Summary: “One--” He stabbed the needle right through skin and cartilage, pulling a loud squawk out of Stiles.Stiles sucked in a few quick breaths then started to laugh. “You son of a bitch,” he snorted. “You said on three.”“I lied,” Peter replied, smiling down at him.Series

Part 2: You Give Me An Oral Fixation

Summary: "So, I want more piercings.""Oh? And where would these piercings be?""Guess."

Part 3: Time To Improvise

Summary: "Want to hear something weird?""From you, I've come to expect it.""Well, this time it's about your penis.""Do tell."

Part 4: Pillow Talk

Summary: “You’re going to have to move if you want to fuck me, y’know,” he murmured in Peter’s ear.Peter smiled. “I don’t plan on moving,” he told him. “I’m so comfortable.”“Then how are…?” Stiles asked, sounding adorably confused. Peter gave him a moment, and he let out a soft ooh. Peter looked at him over his shoulder and saw him lick his lips. “You serious about this?”“I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise,” Peter told him, before he snuggled back into the pillow. “Think you can handle doing all the work?”

Part 5: Back In Black (Fur)

Summary: “What are you doing?” Stiles asked as the backs of his legs hit the bed and he flopped down on his back. “You’re not seriously going to molest me in my father’s house, are you?”“The concept absolutely tickles me,” Peter admitted, climbing over Stiles and bracketing him with his arms and legs. “I want to make you scream in your old room and know that I’m the first.”Stiles snorted. “Narcissist.”“Most definitely,” Peter agreed, leaning in to kiss him.

Part 6: Mark My Skin

Summary: There's a new wolf at the shop.Series

Part 7: Moon High

Summary: “You did that purposely, didn’t you?”“Of course I did,” Stiles said, putting his arm around Peter’s shoulder. “I know about that possessive streak of yours, and I like to see it come out.” He started to pull Peter back towards the bar.“Do you now? Do you want me to stake a claim? I could jerk off on your face right here, but we’ll probably get arrested.”Series

Part 8: And Then There Were Three

Summary: "You okay, Carina?" Stiles asked, sitting down in his chair.Carina chewed at her bottom lip a second. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to ask you guys something," she said, straightening up. "Formally."

Part 9: You Two Are Dorks (But So Am I)

Summary: "I need an apprentice," he said as he lined up his ink cups. He wanted someone to make everything ready for him so he could focus on just the tattoos."You should make Stiles do it," Carina said, not lifting her eyes from the Plants vs Zombies design she was working on. "Since he doesn't contribute.""Hey," Stiles said, turning away from his studying to look at her. "I'm doing very important work here. So nyeh." He stuck out his tongue.Series

Part 10: Alliances

Summary: “Aw, Peter made a friend,” Stiles cooed.

Part 11: For You, For Me, For All Of Us

Summary: A few days later, the doorbell jingled, and a familiar scent hit Peter’s nose. He turned, already smiling, and there was Vince at the door, grinning ear to ear.

Part 12: Red Splash

Summary: "Can we keep him?"

Part 13: Wild Run

Summary: “I can’t just get naked in front of you guys like that, jeez,” he said, turning and heading for the trees. “I need some privacy!”“Performance issues?” Carina called after him.“It happens to everyone!” Reggie added, before he and Carina started to giggle.

Part 14: Hold Me Down

Summary: Some birthday cake and a birthday dance.

Ecosystem Engineering and the Werewolf

Author: Guede

Summary: Stiles and his dad work for the U.S. Forest Service, which sends them to Beacon Hills. It’d be nice if Stiles could stop running into the Hales. He’s got bodies to get rid of.

more fics: part 5

[askmerriauthor]

Hey, I got to see Avengers: Infinity War on company time ‘cause my job was nice enough to buy the staff tickets.  This movie has given me... feelings.  Major spoilers ahead, so hit the jump below to read my thoughts on the matter.

Man, what a boring disappointment of a movie.

I’ve really been digging the last handful of Marvel films for their overall quality, especially where the characterization and banter are concerned.  Both Captain America movies?  Dug ‘em.  All the Thor movies?  Man, I could watch Hemsworth doing prat-falls getting hit by cars all day long and never tire of it.  First Guardians of the Galaxy was great, though number two had missteps.  Ant-Man was a fucking delight from start to finish.  Spider-Man: Homecoming was pitch perfect.  Black Panther has the best villain of the entire MCU thus far.  On the other hand, the Avengers movies were a bit clunky by comparison but were overall enjoyable with some great character moments.  They served to temper expectations about what big group-event films in the MCU are like.  So my gripes on Infinity War is not out of some kind of beef with Marvel/Disney, nor is it out of overblown hype.

With that in mind, Infinity War was incredibly dull as a film.  The bulk of the movie is divided into fight scene after fight scene (to the point that they actually cut away from one massive fight to peek in on another concurrent massive fight), introducing characters to one another (generally via fight scene), or Thanos getting “character building scenes” (immediately before or directly in the middle of a fight scene).

One thing I love most about the Marvel movies is the character interaction.  It’s why these cinematic versions are so beloved by the fandom, why there’s so much creativity spawned around them - they have chemistry and interesting relationships with each other.  A:IW has precious little of that at all.  The lion’s share of character interaction goes to Vision/Wanda and Thanos/The Scenery, and not in a good way.  Each of these two relationship elements are only present to build up a false sense of drama that falls flat in the end.  Though there is one particular scene between Rocket Racoon and Thor (yeah, who saw that one coming?) where the two have a heartfelt conversation that Hemsworth just knocks out of the park.  That moment of Thor recounting just how much he’s lost and it being clear how much agony it’s causing him behind a cocky grin is the kind of characterization I adore in these movies.  Vision and Wanda being melodramatic about a plot point that is clearly never going to go anywhere in the film is not appealing at all.  Their entire story thread from start to finish across the film is Vision wanting Wanda to destroy the Mind Gem (and thus kill him) to prevent Thanos from getting it, and the emotional roller coaster that entails since the two are now in love.  Except that entire concept is a total non-starter, doesn’t go anywhere, and ultimately amounts to nothing at all.  It’s just a waste of time that eats up writing and screen time that could have been put to better use elsewhere.

Onto the villain: I could not give two flying flips about Thanos.  I will fully admit that a part of this is that I personally loathe the cliche “nature is out of balance, I must purge life to restore it” villain trope.  That does play a big part in my dislike here.  But setting that aside, he’s just a terribly dull character with feeble motivations and justifications for his actions.  There’s a major dissonance between what he does and how it’s presented to the audience.  While the movie does give a one-line bit of lip service to him being insane and misguided, it’s never fully addressed as a defining aspect of his character throughout the movie.  The comics put a major emphasis on the fact that Thanos, for all his scheming and intelligence, is coo-coo bananas.  He’s called the “Mad Titan” for a reason.  The movie fails to put a light on that fact and it makes Thanos feel like a flat character since all we really get is him just blankly marching toward his end goal the entire film.  He has no arc or development and is wholly unsympathetic no matter how many times the movie takes us aside with him in solitary, artsy moments and yells “LOOK AT ALL THIS PATHOS” in our faces.

Thanos’ entire villain scheme is that he wants to destroy 50% of all intelligent life forms in existence in order to bring a balance to the universe.  He directly states that the universe’ resources are finite and that life allowed to grow unchecked will snuff itself out by over-consuming these precious few resources.  So his solution - which he has been practicing on a planet-to-planet basis for decades by the point the movie takes place - is to divide a world’s population in half.  50% is murdered on the spot while the other 50% lives, purely based on whoever happens to be standing on the left or right.  It is explicitly described by Thanos as being totally random who lives and who dies so as to be “fair”.  His win-scenario is that the species of whatever world he 50% Genocides thrives in the wake of the purge because they now have a more controllable population size - nothing else beyond that.

So... I mean, right out the gate, that’s the stupidest damn thing possible.  It’s not like he’s going to each of these worlds and carefully examining the state of conditions, then deciding they need to be culled because of their abuse of their resources.  He’s just doing it willy nilly without any justification as to whether such a culling is actually necessary or whether it would even be beneficial to the world in question.  I mean, hey, how can openly slaughtering 50% of a world’s population at random possibly be a bad thing?  Surely that won’t throw their entire society and culture into a death spiral, right?  It’s how he picked up his adopted children - Gamora in particular.  While he was busy murdering 50% of her world, he just sort of kidnaps her because... uh... because he wants to, I guess.  He literally just walks up to her in the middle of wrecking her world and decides he arbitrarily wants to take this one tiny green girl with him for no apparent reason whatsoever.  So, hey, way to undercut your own practice there, Thanos.  50% of the population dies with it being completely random and fair... unless I happen to fancy taking a souvenir, apparently.

The movie beats us over the head with the idea that Thanos is in turmoil because of his mission to balance the universe.  That it is a massive strain on his soul, that only he has the willpower to endure what he sees as a necessary culling.  Not a “necessary evil”, mind you - he never views his actions as being morally wrong.  Just difficult.  But, y’know... it’s kind of hard for me to sympathize with a character introduced to us as being an omnicidal maniac who has built a fanatical cult of personality around himself and callously murders literally trillions of people.  Especially so since, as cannot be overlooked: HE’S DOING IT ALL BY HIS OWN CHOICE.  The whole universal culling this is entirely his idea and pet project, so he is completely responsible for whatever so-called internal suffering the movie is trying to make us feel for him.

This whole affair becomes especially annoying when Thanos acquires the Soul Gem.  There’s a little test he has to perform to get it - he must sacrifice the one thing he loves most.  It turns out this is Gamora, aforementioned adopted/kidnapped daughter.  He has a moment of realization, cries stoic tears, and murders her by throwing her off a several-hundred foot tall cliff to that he can get the gem.  He then spends the rest of the film with the fact that his choice is emotionally wrecking him inside, that he’s grieving and saddened, that his quest has taken everything from him and--

Y’KNOW, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO THROW HER OFF THE DAMN CLIFF, RIGHT?  NOBODY WAS FORCING YOU TO DO THAT.

Gah, this entire character angle just pisses me off because of how inane it is.  “You must give up the thing you love”.  Thanos, you smug bitch, you kidnapped a girl at random while in the process of murdering everyone she knows and loves, then spent the next 20 years putting her through an endless array of physical, mental, and emotional abuse to try and shape her into one of your fanatical Thanos-worshipping minions.  IN THIS VERY SAME MOVIE you tricked Gamora into thinking she brutally killed you just to see if she’d feel bad about it afterward, then literally dismembered her sister before her eyes to force information out of her.  Then, y’know, you murdered Gamora herself.

YOU DON’T FUCKIN’ LOVE HER.  THAT IS NOT LOVE.  I don’t care how many melodramatic “single tear down the cheek” moments you have - there is absolutely nothing about this character or his established, presented backstory that gives even the slightest hint he cared about Gamora beyond her ability to serve him as a tool.  If the Soul Gem was really supposed to be using this “sacrifice your love” test as a measure of who gets to take it, then Thanos should have just failed flat-out.  Even if one tries to argue something like “Oh, well, it was genuine love in Thanos’ twisted perspective”, that doesn’t matter.  The Infinity Gems - especially the Soul Gem - are presented as being semi-aware and capable of making decisions as to who they want to serve.  So it’s not Thanos’ call as to whether or not Gamora is the thing he loves, but the Soul Gem’s.  But it works because we need to get to the next fight scene but quick, so off we go!

The final climax point of the movie is right after Thanos finally gets all the gems and snaps his fingers.  He wins.  In that instant, 50% of all intelligent beings in the universe just sort of go away.  They don’t really die, per say, but rather just poof out existence.  Effectively dead but maybe not specifically so?  It isn’t explained.  So we get this lengthy montage of main characters going poof into particle-effect clouds one by one, with how abrupt or extended the disintegration is depending on whether or not the writers wanted to give them a dramatic final speech.  Oh, how sad.  How very sad.  Boo hoo.  My eye-rolling on this point isn’t because of the meta-awareness of me knowing Marvel isn’t going to purge its main character roster because money.  Rather, it’s because the movie itself takes a moment to pull us aside and assure us that literally NONE OF THIS MATTERS AT ALL.

During an earlier point in the film. Dr. Strange takes a moment of meditation and uses the Time Gem to peer into the future.  He looks at millions of potential futures and says that they only beat Thanos and win the day in one of those probabilities.  It’s done in a way that seems to impress upon the audience just how hopeless this whole effort seems, but it’s a blatant Chekhov’s Gun moment since Dr. Strange acts extremely out of character with his decisions from that point on.  He surrenders to Thanos and, right before dying himself, looks at Tony (and almost directly into the camera) to assure everyone that “this is the only way”.  Whiiiiiiich very blatantly means that his out of character decisions were actually intentionally made to set up the one lone “we somehow manage to win” future he saw.  Because HE SAW HOW TO DO IT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE TIME GEM DOES so literally NOTHING that happens beyond that midway point in the film matters because it’s all predetermined to end up well for the heroes.  Which, right along with the “kill everyone to restore balance” trope, is another of my hated cliches because IT’S SO DAMN LAZY.

That’s really what this boils down to for me.  A:IW is lazy.  It’s all flash and fluff without anything really satisfying under all the sparkly varnish.  There’s no genuine substance to it.  Just a few faux plot concepts that are dressed up to look like they’ve got weight, but just end up being hollow.

Also... Thanos?  Buddy?  If your whole bit is that the universe has finite resources and there’s too many mouths to feed, why not just use your newly-acquired phenomenal cosmic powers to make more resources?  I mean, if you can literally snap your fingers and cause an unimaginable volume of matter (ie, people across the universe) to just spontaneously stop existing, why not just make the universe bigger and fuller for everyone’s benefit?  That maybe might go over better with the crowds, y’know?

[blahblahemblem]

heroes barracks tour: fliers

same as last time, but with a different unit type!

note: I wrote this about a week ago, lol. I haven’t changed anything since then.

Fliers are probably my favourite unit type right now. The reason is quite simple – their unparallelled mobility makes them highly flexible and allows them to pull off feats that other movement type teams can only dream of. I’m also very lucky in that I managed to acquire all 3 of the currently existing ranged fliers. As of the moment I’m typing this, my main flier team is my arena offence and defence (Michalis is a bonus unit <3). It’s also only thanks to them that I cleared Chain Challenge 11 & 12 (namely, they got me through the chapter 11 bit), and I’ve been liberally using them to clear Infernals of various BHBs and GHBs.

(Note from today: using a mixed team with Michalis on it during the first week of the Winter’s Envoy bonus set, I was able to get into tier 20 for the first time with a score of 4890!)

5* builds

+spd -hp

Random pitybreaker from Ylissean Summer. The story is as follows:

Mercifully this was only at 3,25%.

I’d not spent any effort on her yet at all aside from throwing her the Iceberg. She doesn’t even have enough SP to learn Fortify Fliers which she comes with.

Usage: None whatsoever. Her attack is pitifully low to the point that she does awfully against units she’s supposed to counter because she can’t ORKO them and she takes massive damage in return. Admittedly she could do some mage countering. But she doesn’t.

Future improvements: I have grand plans for poor Caeda. I intend on giving her a Wo Dao+ and refining it for extra MT. As for passives, the good ole Fury Desperation combo. Then she could either do massive damage through Iceberg while also being capable of charging it a bit by soaking up magic hits, or inherit Moonbow to go and go to town on that. Unfortunately that’s quite a long way away because I don’t even have any Athenas anymore and when I do pull one there’s a very long queue for those feathers.

+atk –res

Pulling Nowi was nothing short of a miracle which you can see here under Henry’s section. It’s especially amazing in her case because the reason I only had 9 orbs ready for a limited units banner was that I’d blown all of them trying to get Hinoka, you know, the girl famous for being the only permanent source of Hone Fliers.

I don’t see any reason to change her default build. I quite like Atk/Res Bond as Nowi is glued to other units all the time anyway. Hone Fliers is a given. Renewal keeps her HP in range of Grimoire’s passive effect (which is amazing and I love it on Nowi but Takumi really doesn’t need it).

Usage: As the only carrier of Hone Fliers in my barracks, Nowi is essential to my flier team, so I’ve been working her to the bone since the moment she got here.

Improvements: I don’t have access to Renewal 3.

+spd –res

I had promoted her before I decided to make this account my main, as part of my now realised effort to own a 5* copy of every unit in the game. It’s kind of a funny coincidence that Shanna just now experienced a rise in popularity thanks to the Voting Gauntlet. Personally I’m currently not a very big fan of Shanna even though there’s nothing wrong with her, a fact that has absolutely nothing to do with loving Takumi too much and being bitter.

Usage: She has over 1k HM mostly thanks to the time when she was one of my very few trained 5* units and I had to rely on her in the first two Tempest Trials. I haven’t been using her often lately (see above). When I finally get over myself, I will continue my attempts to create a mixed team with her and BK.

Improvements: She has Firesweep Lance+, LaD2, and Drive Def 2 inherited but lacks the SP. She also needs an assist.

+atk –hp

My first free 5* summon on this account, coming from the Ephraim & Eirika’s BHB banner.

So far this is just her default build. I’ve been focusing on units that fit specifically on monotype teams, so Tana, who would of course be better off on a mixed team so Guidance doesn’t go wasted, has been left behind.

Usage: See above. I do take her out for AA quite a lot because I can then use her to Guidance-drop an armour somewhere convenient.

Improvements: She has Hit & Run and Swap inherited but not learned. I’m also planning on giving her Close Defence from the second Joshua so I can take advantage of Vidofnir’s passive effect.

+spd –hp

First summon from Nohrian Summer; too bad that one was before free summons became a thing. It came as quite the convenience since I was planning on promoting a Cordelia anyway (I had a +atk 4* one in my barracks).

Another constant presence on my main flier team, although unfortunately also the most expendable, as the bulk of player-phase damage is handled by the mages and she can’t tank at all.

Usage: Maxed HM. As part of my flier team, she is fielded very very often, but, again, she is also the member with the lowest kill count. Fortify Fliers is a very big contribution on her part however, as pretty much everybody else on the team appreciates it, and so is Reposition.

Improvements: Merging her might not be a bad idea since she’s so common, but I’m just not feeling it yet so that’s up in the air. LaD3 is also something she probably wants, but I’m not going to give it to her unless I pull a Minerva again by accident; even then it’d probably go to Shanna first over her. Death Blow is on the table, but there are no Kleins available and she’s not a priority for it.

+atk –res

I suffered for her so fucking much. I hit a 5% rate on Nohrian Summer and have given up twice along the way. It was all so fuCKING WORTH IT

I don’t hide the fact that I fucking hate Corrin as a character with a passion, but honestly I love my summer Corrin a lot. She has pretty art and an adorable chibi sprite and she’s the deadly centrepiece of my Flier Emblem. I can’t believe Heroes made me feel positive emotions towards Corrin but here we are.

Build is as standard as it gets, monotype team bladetome nuke.

Usage: Maxed HM, honestly after what I said above you can already infer that she’s one of my most used units

Improvements: I could give her Fury but her default Swift Strike has been working well for me thus far so I see no real reason to.

+2, neutral (obviously)

HIM

I don’t know why but I’m in love with this stupid edgelord. I had him promoted kind of just to promote a GHB unit on my old main and ended up getting very attached and promoted him again when I switched to this account the first chance I got. Now he’s my first deliberate merging project. I gave him a Hector. He’s my pride and joy and my favourite unit (sorry to any tacos that were hurt by this).

I absolutely adore the Hauteclere upgrade as well, because it lets me do so much amazing bullshit, like this:

Usage: LOL

Improvements: I missed one copy of him during his first rerun so unfortunately I’ll only be able to merge him to +3 for now, but you bet your ass I’m going to keep merging when we get more copies. QR3 is in the plans as well. Aether is a distant possibility.

neutral

She’s the reason I don’t have Hinoka. I got her off Flier Boost Skills when there were no blue orbs. I got Nowi literally the next minute though, so it’s fine, I’m glad to have Minerva now.

I’ve literally just thrown DF and Desperation at her default build so far. I may be happy I have Minerva, but I haven’t used her much yet.

Usage: See above.

Improvements: Needs SP to learn Desp 3 and Ward Fliers. Needs an assist. Once I get around to upgrading her Hauteclere (and believe me there’s quite the line ahead of her), I might go for the touted Moonbow spam build instead of building up a big nuke with DF. That’s her brother’s domain (see above).

+atk –hp

Cherche’s Brave build is quite famous and I like her so I made it happen, end of story.

Usage: I’ve been busy with my main team on which Michalis reigns supreme so I haven’t got around to doing anything with her yet after she learned the important skills. I might consider replacing Cordy with her once she learns Fortify if only so that somebody keeps earning HM, but we shall see.

Improvements: Needs SP for Fortify Fliers. I might give her one merge for that one extra point of atk. Might also give her Desperation once I get around to upgrading the Brash Assault seal so I can try that bucket of fun out.

+hp –def

I got two Hectors and a Deirdre from Fjorm’s banner. I decided to give up. Then I had some orbs and an itch to try again. There was one green orb and it was Cammy.

Now that I have her I have zero clue what to do with her. Right now I’m leaning towards Gronnblade, but I don’t have any Ninos at all. We’ll see I guess.

Usage: None yet

Improvements: Different tome, different assist, passives, everything basically

Lower rarity builds and merge projects

neutral

Palla has served me very well as the designated red flier on my makeshift 10th stratum quests team up until I pulled h!Nowi. Yes, I was using this free Palla we got from those Whitewings quests ages ago over my 5* Caeda with good IVs, because well. Palla can tank, and has Goad Fliers. She’s sort of retired now, but I’m considering making some kind of 5* build for her if I get one with good IVs. I’m thinking of capitalising on her good bulk since the other two sword fliers are more glass-cannon like. (Not that I’m about to get an Elincia any time soon...)

+2, +def –res

More bulk, this time in green. I’m sitting on a ton of 3* Berukas, but I don’t really want to spend extra feathers since aside from Glimmer which is still a questionable choice despite the lower cooldown she has nothing to offer as inheritance. Anyway, once I get her past +7 one way or another I will be giving her a Slaying Axe+ from a promoted version of herself. At some point. She’s on the list somewhere.

+10, +atk –forgot

Est haunts my dreams. I just merged all of them to get rid of the plague in my barracks and now I have this. Now, at 3* +10, she has the same raw stats as a 5* of her would, and in fact even has +1 to HP and def. She’s never getting a 5* weapon or expensive inherits unless I’m overrun with pitybreaker Abels, but she might prove to be a good asset in a pinch. With a simple Brave Lance, Atk+3 in A slot and the Atk+3 seal that’s 49x2 atk before buffs. If only I would bother to train her...

Not pictured:

Narcian’s default build is excellent for niche AA usage, but I haven’t needed him in a while. Valter is still untrained. Both of them are going to be kept around for HM purposes and because of GHB quests, but neither are getting any merges. I don’t know what I’m going to do with Panic Ploy yet but I want it as an option, and Lancebreaker 3 is obvious.

[velmaadamrast]

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This kind of sale may do best when you sell numerous different things as a "lot" public auction as opposed to marketing private pieces. Style products for your baby's baby room can be fundamental items like lights and carpets or more specific baby-themed items like mobiles and wall danglings. Or spend some money on a great present (for circumstances, a gift certificate to a restaurant, spa, or hotel), as well as ask that visitors bring a details item (diapers, certain baby food) for a drawing ticket. Trying to find something details? Seeking Free Child Stuff? Our brands have remained in the market for 20 years and we are always seeking to expand our product offering with charming designs on our most popular products, while also establishing absolutely brand-new products that make your life easier. These sales are normally held at the end of the year because the shops have to clear their old supply and need to include the fresh stock. Selling because my 6 month old just suches as to rest on me! Offering this high chair in good made use of condition require it gone as no longer use it. Selling because of not had fun with any longer! Discover our handy tools as well as overviews such as our Due Date Calculator, Baby Names Finder, Fun Birthday Celebration Facts Calculator, or our Maternity Week-by-Week and Your Child This Week guides. The initial week home with a brand-new child, specifically for a brand-new mommy, can be daunting. Got an Infant, Baby-on-the-way, or understand a person who does? This method would not just get you well linked, you'll also be able to get useful advice and also suggestions from individuals who have remained in the sector much much longer than you. Remain in the loophole with our newest parenting information, helpfull tips and also time or quantitily minimal free gift's. It's time to take place a prudent purchasing spree as well as load up on Free Infant Stuff! Continue reading to find the very best roundup of cost-free infant stuff. Lights function best with low-wattage bulbs unless it's the only light resource in the room. Speaking as someone that suches as sites, and also likes techy things I find Magento quite a battle obtaining every little thing to interact. It's because when you click some internet sites, they instantly download and install monitoring programs and also malware onto your hard disk drive so they can check your internet task, and after that bombard you with spam as well as popups. Completely free baby books, click on this link for a wonderful Dr. Seuss deal! Right here are just a couple of means you can find out to cut down on your grocery store costs. Infant Development Charts-- Free design templates to track your child's growth in 12 different means (consists of Word record, Excel spread sheet and also PDF). Maternity Belly Badges-- You can track your pregnancy weekly or monthly. The financial institution will certainly then utilize your loan to finance a charge card account that one more client opens, and he or she will pay 18% rate of interest on any kind of equilibrium rollovered to their next regular monthly bill. I am amazed when I go to the supermarket how numerous times individuals are investing a lot even more money than myself as well as obtaining half the quantity of things I have within my cart. The huge name brand business will oftentimes send out complete dimension samples in stages, as your child expands.

free baby stuff 2019

Similac Solution & & Even more-- Free samples of Similac child formula, plus whole lots of other enjoyable things. It's ideal for holding your free sample of Gerber child formula, cost-free baby bib, as well as much more. Can be walked around whilst child rests, guests do not require to maintain holding child as padding can just be relocated whilst baby sleeps! The love as well as pleasure of offering birth and also holding our children is unlike anything really felt in the past. He admits that his "world is insane ", and that his love passion is the someone who can make it bearable. In reality they will be an excellent option for moms and dads that are attempting to make their children look adorable as well as unique. I like Pampers Pure as a clean choice. Anyways, this Pampers advert complied with the advert in concern. She kept me talking for around 10 mins during which time she referred me to this particular TELEVISION advert a more 4 times, and also each time I assured her I had actually not seen it because I don't view tv. Tv assists us unwind - or does it? It likewise assists that several are likewise reversible. We hope our store aids bring simpleness to your life during this roller-coaster time. It would use up all of your time as well as you are in charge of the life of an additional human being. Also some healthcare facilities offer baby diaper nags as well as infant bottles to make sure that the brand-new mom can have a relief for the minute following discharging from the medical facility with the little angel in her life. I can offer you the assurance from my individual experience that such items enhance the pleasure by offering a lot more relief. As I have personal experience with the precision of available charts that might be located throughout the Net, I am supplying this details right here, instead than connecting to a chart online. While parenting is such an expensive experience for a lot of us, why not enjoy something that comes for FREE. Why not make a little added as well as provide them as presents? The designs of altering tables vary from types with open shelving to ones with drawers and cupboard area, ideal for saving added diapers, infant wipes, bed linens and various other necessities. Cushion pads These pads provide an additional layer of security to your baby's bed linen. When it comes time to convert, you'll need to just perhaps buy guardrails or full-size rails, as well as maybe a larger bed mattress. I don't wish to waist my time going from site to website simply for one tiny complimentary example. Enfamil Present Pack-- Take this certificate to the health center with you to receive your cost-free sample of newborn formula and also even more. This article shares how to secure free baby things, including the most effective sources for infant and also newborn stuff, and also cost-free things for infants of any ages! Almost all of the larger chain stores and also mall stores consist of a kindly proportioned series of infant garments with tiny blossoms as well as rabbits for the ladies, and little footballs and vehicles for the young boys. What one should keep in mind is that a baby is a lot extra priceless than any kind of rate tags and also such trendy apparel can only be acquired at big brand shops. For the child present basket, some concepts they suggest is to produce your own baby present basket or choose the classical clothing baby gift basket where you can never ever fail.

Believe outside package, it's only the child that is little, your gift options are endless. Many parents understand that there are so many things that they would require to obtain for their child. Anticipating mommies, and even Fathers-to-be, must be smart in intending on exactly how they can get the ideal for their children without investing as well a lot. A devoted baby altering table and area for nappy changes is a should when preparing your nursery room. Create a nursery room ideal for your baby to rest so, they'll be able to obtain all the remainder they need to help promote their development as well as restore their energy. Story books are excellent too, allowing parents to get even more bonded with their kid while attempting to make their youngster go to sleep. As your child obtains a little older as well as starts checking out, prepared your house and also make it baby-proof with our option of residence safety and security products, safety gates and also playpens which are very easy to configuration and store away. Arrangement an infant display to provide you assurance while your child is sleeping when you are not in the same space. This is the reason for which you need to remember regarding various variables before having any kind of progression with the nursery. Aid the new moms and dads stimulate their baby's mind by supplying instructional toys, that are made to assist create the child's mind. Several of them include a solid tinted sheet and a sheet with designs on it while a few of them coincide shade or design. These can be matched to match your infant's sheets or be an entirely various shade or design. Our option of soft toys, musical toys as well as rattles means that you can conveniently find something for your youngster to love that's likewise engaging. You will certainly love the variety of colors and also layouts - all in fashionable infant clothing dimensions. Whether you're preparing yourself to invite a newborn right into the world and also seeking baby room items or searching for baby playthings, maternal clothes and devices and various other baby room products we have a wonderful option of baby basics. At the minimum you can discover infant diaper samples, yet a bulk of merchants use welcome baby bundles for their consumers, if they feel in one's bones where to register. This means, that in order for you to gain from totally free samples, after that you need to proactively find new deals prior to they are retired by the item producer. Superb problem, very clean and in full functioning order. They additionally use such promotional device in order to enhance the sales of playthings, for example, during off peak periods. You are the one to benefit from their sales ventures. One of the points that we did was take a look in the source coding. To assist you select the appropriate child seat or booster for you youngster by taking a look at our youngster's child seat guide. For days out and also concerning in the car, an infant safety seat is an essential. Occasionally, as well, all weve gotten out of it was a day away from residence.

So weve obtained torsion as an issue. From large purchases like baby room furniture and bottle-feeding equipment to smaller items like diapers and also burp fabrics, you can locate whatever you need for your brand-new baby at Everyday Affordable Price at Walmart. The money you spend on diapers is horrendous and also you can expect to be shelling it out for fairly some time. Oh, hi there, when do you believe the new Individuals publication will appear? If you're expecting a child, then you've definitely involved the right location! When it comes to preparing for the arrival of a brand-new infant, there's a great deal to consider to obtain your house prepared for a newborn. Free goods is not simply limited for your brand-new arrival you can also get things for yourself, your other kids, your partner and also for your residence. Great for new parents, grandparents, also friends of the family members to send to inform others of the new arrival! Printable Child Cards-- Free cards that you can print as well as send to loved ones to welcome them to your infant shower or introduce your infant's arrival. Score an offer for yourself, or stash away the best Free Baby Shower grant these Child Freebies for New Moms! There's something ideal for all stages of your kid's advancement from items for heating bottles to food blender or food processors perfect to make food for weaning. The baby shower is the best time to get your friend infant needs and also things she may not have had time to buy yet. It is difficult to discover a trustworthy wholesale dropship baby garments provider as it may appears at very first glimpse. However, you might have a difficulty in specifying which dimension fits your infant exactly. Nevertheless, despite the fact that these write-ups are being given totally free, you are still guaranteed of checking out significant entrances. I've personally provided so numerous of these products as presents to new mommies, as well as they LOVE them! Milk supplements are likewise provided also to lactating mothers. Save valuable time when it involves prepping milk for evening time feeds or baby food with baby feeding devices. Making your very own child food is straightforward, practical, and also can save you money. So don't place up web pages, spend time and cash obtaining them excellent PR and also then, while revamping your site, remove those web pages. Good problem. Tidy. From a non smoking and no pet home. Full functioning condition. Animal and smoke complimentary residence. Utilized however in excellent problem From a smoke and family pet complimentary home This is a well liked and also cared for pram system and also I am depressing to see this go. Wish to avoid ideal to the good stuff? There are 2,546 baby things providers, mostly situated in Asia. In a similar way, if the entire site is just a massive advertisement for the ebook the webmaster has actually created, you are not really mosting likely to start a Net service, however simply get a book. You're mosting likely to LIKE these! Theyre not cysts yet Im going to mention them; womb fibroids or uterine myomas, as well as pelvic kidneys.

[mechohawey]

The Comfort Of Organic Cotton Baby Clothing - The Very Best and also A Lot Of Fantastic

This kind of sale might do best when you market a number of various things as a "whole lot" auction rather of offering individual items. Design things for your infant's nursery can be standard pieces like lamps and also rugs or more certain baby-themed pieces like mobiles and also wall surface hangings. Or spend some money on a good gift (for example, a present certificate to a dining establishment, health facility, or resort), and also ask that guests bring a particular thing (baby diapers, specific baby food) for a drawing ticket. Looking for something particular? Seeking Free Child Things? Our brand names have been in the market for twenty years and also we are always aiming to increase our item offering with adorable styles on our most preferred products, while likewise establishing absolutely brand-new products that make your life easier. These sales are generally held at the end of the year because the shops have to remove their old stock as well as have to make space for the fresh stock. Offering due to the fact that my 6 month old only suches as to sleep on me! Selling this high chair in good made use of problem require it gone as no more use it. Marketing because of not played with any longer! Explore our practical devices and also overviews such as our Due Date Calculator, Infant Names Finder, Fun Birthday Realities Calculator, or our Pregnancy Week-by-Week and also Your Child This Week guides. The first week residence with a new infant, specifically for a brand-new mother, can be daunting. Got a Baby, Baby-on-the-way, or know a person that does? This method would certainly not just obtain you well linked, you'll likewise have the ability to obtain helpful advice and also ideas from people who have actually been in the market much longer than you. Stay in the loophole with our most recent parenting information, helpfull suggestions as well as time or quantitily restricted giveaway's. It's time to go on an economical buying spree and tons up on Free Baby Stuff! Keep reading to uncover the ideal roundup of cost-free baby things. Lamps work best with low-wattage bulbs unless it's the only light source in the space. Chatting as a person that suches as web sites, and also suches as techy points I find Magento rather a battle getting every little thing to interact. It's because when you click on some internet sites, they automatically download and install monitoring programs and malware onto your difficult drive so they can monitor your internet activity, and afterwards pound you with spam and popups. For totally free infant books, click on this link for a great Dr. Seuss offer! Here are just a few methods you can learn to cut back on your grocery bill. Child Development Charts-- Free themes to track your child's development in 12 various ways (includes Word record, Excel spreadsheet and PDF). Maternity Belly Badges-- You can track your maternity regular or regular monthly. The bank will certainly after that use your money to fund a credit score card account that an additional customer opens up, and she or he will certainly pay 18% interest on any type of balance rollovered to their next monthly expense. I am astonished when I most likely to the grocery shop the number of times people are investing so a lot more money than myself as well as obtaining half the amount of things I have within my cart. The huge name brand name firms will most of the times send out full dimension examples in stages, as your youngster expands.

free baby stuff 2019

Similac Formula & & More-- Free examples of Similac child formula, plus great deals of other fun things. It's best for holding your cost-free sample of Gerber infant formula, cost-free infant bib, as well as much more. Can be walked around whilst child rests, guests do not require to keep holding baby as cushion can simply be moved whilst baby rests! The love and also happiness of providing birth as well as holding our kids differs from anything really felt previously. He admits that his "globe is insane ", which his love passion is the someone that can make it manageable. In reality they will certainly be a wonderful selection for moms and dads that are attempting to make their youngsters look charming as well as unique. I favor Pampers Pure as a wipe choice. In any case, this Pampers advert followed the advert concerned. She maintained me chatting for roughly 10 mins during which time she referred me to this particular TELEVISION advert a more 4 times, and also each time I ensured her I had not seen it since I do not view television. Tv aids us relax - or does it? It likewise helps that several are likewise relatively easy to fix. We wish our shop assists bring simpleness to your life during this roller-coaster time. It would occupy every one of your time and you are accountable for the life of an additional human being. Even some hospitals provide baby diaper nags as well as baby containers so that the new mom can have an alleviation for the moment simply after discharging from the medical facility with the baby in her life. I can provide you the assurance from my individual experience that such products enhance the enjoyment by providing much more alleviation. As I have personal experience with the accuracy of offered charts that might be found around the Net, I am providing this info below, as opposed to linking to a chart online. While parenting is such an expensive experience for many of us, why not delight in something that comes completely free. Why not make a little additional and also provide as presents? The designs of altering tables vary from kinds with open shelving to ones with cabinets as well as cupboard area, suitable for saving added baby diapers, infant wipes, linens and other requirements. Mattress pads These pads supply an additional layer of defense to your child's bed linen. When it comes time to convert, you'll need to just perhaps acquire guardrails or full-size rails, and probably a bigger mattress. I do not intend to waist my time going from site to site simply for one small cost-free example. Enfamil Present Load-- Take this certificate to the health center with you to get your free example of newborn infant formula and also even more. This post shares just how to secure free child things, consisting of the very best resources for baby and newborn things, as well as cost-free stuff for children of all ages! Almost all of the larger chain shops and shopping center stores consist of a kindly proportioned series of infant clothing with tiny flowers as well as rabbits for the girls, and tiny footballs as well as cars for the young boys. What one should remember is that a child is much extra valuable than any kind of cost and such fashionable clothes can only be achieved at big brand shops. For the baby present basket, some concepts they suggest is to create your very own infant gift basket or choose the classical garments baby present basket where you can never fail.

Assume outside the box, it's just the baby that is tiny, your present alternatives are unlimited. Most parents know that there are so several things that they would certainly require to get for their baby. Expecting moms, and also even Fathers-to-be, must be clever in intending on just how they can obtain the most effective for their babies without investing excessive. A devoted infant altering table and also location for nappy adjustments is a need to when planning your baby room room. Produce a baby room area ideal for your infant to rest so, they'll have the ability to get all the remainder they need to help boost their growth and regain their power. Story publications are excellent as well, permitting parents to obtain more bound with their youngster while attempting to make their kid go to sleep. As your child obtains a little older and also begins checking out, all set your residence and make it baby-proof with our choice of home security items, safety entrances as well as playpens which are easy to arrangement and also shop away. Configuration a baby display to offer you assurance while your baby is taking a snooze when you are not in the very same area. This is the factor for which you need to remember about various factors prior to having any kind of development with the nursery. Aid the brand-new moms and dads stimulate their baby's mind by supplying instructional playthings, that are designed to aid create the baby's mind. A few of them include a strong colored sheet and a sheet with designs on it while some of them coincide color or style. These can be combined to match your child's sheets or be a completely various color or design. Our choice of soft toys, musical toys and also rattles means that you can quickly discover something for your youngster to enjoy that's additionally engaging. You will like the wide array of design and colors - done in fashionable infant clothes sizes. Whether you're preparing yourself to welcome a newborn right into the globe and also seeking nursery items or browsing for child toys, maternity clothing and also devices and also other baby room products we have a fantastic option of child basics. At least you can locate child diaper samples, yet a bulk of sellers offer welcome infant bundles for their consumers, if they just understand where to authorize up. This means, that in order for you to benefit from free examples, after that you need to proactively locate new offers before they are retired by the product manufacturer. Excellent condition, exceptionally clean and also in complete functioning order. They additionally make use of such advertising tool in order to raise the sales of playthings, as an example, during off peak periods. You are the one to take advantage of their sales endeavors. Among things that we did was look in the resource coding. To help you choose the ideal safety seat or booster for you youngster by taking a look at our child's child seat guide. For days out and about in the cars and truck, a child safety seat is a crucial. Sometimes, also, all weve obtained out of it was a day far from house.

So weve obtained torsion as an issue. From huge acquisitions like baby room furniture and also bottle-feeding tools to smaller items like baby diapers and burp fabrics, you can locate every little thing you require for your new child at Every Day Low Cost at Walmart. The loan you invest on diapers is outrageous as well as you can anticipate to be shelling it out for fairly a long time. Oh, hey, when do you think the brand-new Individuals publication will come out? If you're anticipating a baby, after that you have actually absolutely pertained to the ideal location! When it concerns planning for the arrival of a brand-new child, there's a whole lot to think of to obtain your house ready for a newborn. Free merchandise is not just limited for your new kid on the block you can likewise get things for on your own, your various other youngsters, your husband and also for your house. Great for new parents, grandparents, also friends of the household to send out to notify others of the new arrival! Infant Cards-- Free cards that you can publish and send out to loved ones to invite them to your child shower or announce your child's arrival. Score an offer for yourself, or stash away the ideal Free Child Shower grant these Child Freebies for New Moms! There's something suitable for all stages of your child's development from products for heating bottles to food mixers excellent to make food for weaning. The baby shower is the excellent time to get your buddy baby needs and stuff she might not have had time to purchase yet. It is challenging to find a reliable wholesale dropship baby clothing provider as it might appears at initial glimpse. Nevertheless, you may have a difficulty in specifying which dimension fits your child specifically. Nonetheless, despite the fact that these reviews are being offered free of cost, you are still assured of checking out considerable entrances. I've personally given a lot of of these items as gifts to new mommies, and they LIKE them! Milk supplements are additionally given even to lactating moms. Conserve priceless time when it concerns prepping milk for evening time feeds or child food with infant feeding accessories. Making your own infant food is basic, practical, as well as can conserve you cash. So do not place up web pages, spend time and money obtaining them good PR and also then, while revamping your website, remove those pages. Good problem. Clean. From a non smoking cigarettes as well as no pet home. Full functioning problem. Animal and also smoke free home. Made use of yet in great condition From a smoke as well as family pet cost-free home This is a well enjoyed and also taken care of pram system and also I am unfortunate to see this go. Intend to skip ideal to the great stuff? There are 2,546 child stuff vendors, primarily located in Asia. In a similar way, if the whole internet site is only a gigantic advertisement for the digital book the webmaster has actually written, you are not in fact going to begin an Internet service, however simply acquire a book. You're mosting likely to LOVE these! Theyre not cysts but Im mosting likely to mention them; uterus fibroids or uterine myomas, and also pelvic kidneys.

[michealjjohnson1968]

The Convenience Of Organic Cotton Infant Clothing - The Most Effective and A Lot Of Great

This type of sale might do best when you offer several various products as a "great deal" auction instead of selling individual items. Decoration things for your baby's nursery can be fundamental items like lamps and also rugs or more particular baby-themed items like mobiles and wall hangings. Or spend some loan on a great present (as an example, a gift certification to a restaurant, medical spa, or hotel), and ask that visitors bring a specific thing (diapers, particular child food) in exchange for a drawing ticket. Searching for something certain? Looking for Free Infant Stuff? Our brand names have actually been in the market for twenty years and also we are always aiming to increase our product offering with adorable styles on our most popular products, while additionally developing absolutely brand-new items that make your life much easier. These sales are generally held at the end of the year due to the fact that the shops need to remove their old supply as well as have to include the fresh supply. Marketing since my 6 month old just likes to rest on me! Selling this high chair in excellent made use of condition need it gone as no more usage it. Offering due to not had fun with anymore! Discover our useful devices and also overviews such as our Due Date Calculator, Infant Labels Finder, Enjoyable Birthday Realities Calculator, or our Pregnancy Week-by-Week and also Your Baby This Week guides. The very first week home with a new infant, specifically for a brand-new mama, can be daunting. Obtained a Baby, Baby-on-the-way, or know a person that does? This method would not just obtain you well linked, you'll also have the ability to obtain beneficial advice as well as ideas from individuals who have actually been in the sector far longer than you. Remain in the loophole with our most recent parenting information, helpfull suggestions as well as time or quantitily restricted free gift's. It's time to go on an economical purchasing spree and tons up on Free Baby Stuff! Keep reading to find the most effective summary of cost-free child stuff. Lamps function best with low-wattage light bulbs unless it's the only light in the area. Speaking as somebody who suches as web sites, as well as suches as techy points I locate Magento rather a battle obtaining every little thing to collaborate. It's because when you click on some sites, they immediately download and install tracking programs and malware onto your hard disk so they can monitor your internet task, and after that pester you with spam and popups. Free of cost baby books, click below for a terrific Dr. Seuss deal! Right here are simply a couple of means you can learn to reduce on your grocery expense. Infant Development Charts-- Free layouts to track your infant's development in 12 various means (includes Word file, Excel spreadsheet and also PDF). Pregnancy Stubborn Belly Badges-- You can track your maternity regular or monthly. The financial institution will certainly after that use your loan to finance a charge card account that one more customer opens up, as well as she or he will certainly pay 18% interest on any kind of equilibrium rollovered to their next monthly costs. I am impressed when I go to the food store the number of times individuals are spending so much more cash than myself as well as getting half the amount of things I have within my cart. The heavyweight brand name companies will most of the times send complete size examples in stages, as your youngster expands.

free baby stuff 2019

Similac Formula & & Even more-- Free samples of Similac child formula, plus great deals of various other fun stuff. It's best for holding your complimentary example of Gerber child formula, totally free child bib, as well as more. Can be walked around whilst baby sleeps, visitors do not require to maintain holding infant as padding can simply be relocated whilst baby sleeps! The love and also happiness of giving birth as well as holding our kids is unlike anything really felt previously. He confesses that his "world is insane ", which his love rate of interest is the one person who can make it manageable. In reality they will be an excellent option for moms and dads that are trying to make their kids look adorable and special. I prefer Pampers Pure as a wipe selection. Anyways, this Pampers advert followed the advert concerned. She kept me talking for around 10 mins throughout which time she referred me to this certain TELEVISION advert a more 4 times, and each time I assured her I had actually not seen it due to the fact that I don't view television. Television assists us wind down - or does it? It additionally helps that lots of are also relatively easy to fix. We hope our shop aids bring simplicity to your life during this roller-coaster time. It would take up all of your time and you are liable for the life of one more human. Even some medical facilities offer diaper nags as well as child containers to make sure that the new mother can have a relief for the moment after discharging from the hospital with the baby in her life. I can offer you the guarantee from my personal experience that such products enhance the satisfaction by giving extra relief. As I have personal experience with the accuracy of offered graphes that may be located throughout the Net, I am giving this information below, as opposed to connecting to a graph online. While parenting is such an expensive experience for a lot of us, why not take pleasure in something that comes completely free. Why not make a little added and also provide as gifts? The styles of changing tables range from kinds with open shelving to ones with drawers and closet room, suitable for saving extra baby diapers, baby wipes, linens as well as various other necessities. Bed mattress pads These pads use an extra layer of security to your child's bedding. When it comes time to transform, you'll need to only possibly purchase guardrails or full-size rails, as well as probably a bigger mattress. I don't wish to waist my time going from website to website just for one little totally free example. Enfamil Present Load-- Take this certificate to the healthcare facility with you to obtain your cost-free sample of newborn formula and even more. This post shares exactly how to break out child stuff, consisting of the ideal sources for baby as well as newborn things, and complimentary stuff for infants of every ages! Nearly all of the bigger store and mall shops include a kindly proportioned series of baby apparel with little blossoms and bunnies for the women, and also little footballs as well as vehicles for the young boys. What one needs to remember is that a child is a lot more valuable than any type of price and such fashionable clothes can just be attained at big trademark name stores. For the baby present basket, some ideas they suggest is to produce your own infant gift basket or go with the classic apparel infant present basket where you can never fail.

Assume outside package, it's just the child that is tiny, your gift alternatives are limitless. The majority of parents recognize that there are so lots of things that they would certainly need to obtain for their child. Anticipating mommies, and also even Fathers-to-be, should be smart in preparing on how they can get the very best for their babies without investing way too much. A specialized child changing table and also location for nappy changes is a must when preparing your nursery area. Develop a baby room space ideal for your baby to rest so, they'll be able to get all the remainder they need to help promote their growth and reclaim their power. Tale publications are perfect as well, permitting parents to get more bonded with their youngster while attempting to make their little one sleep. As your infant obtains a little older and also starts checking out, all set your house as well as make it baby-proof with our selection of home safety items, security entrances and also playpens which are very easy to configuration and shop away. Configuration an infant display to give you comfort while your child is taking a snooze when you are not in the exact same area. This is the reason for which you need to maintain in mind about numerous variables prior to having any kind of progress with the nursery. Aid the brand-new moms and dads promote their baby's mind by giving academic playthings, that are created to help create the infant's mind. Several of them include a strong tinted sheet as well as a sheet with layouts on it while some of them are the same color or design. These can be coupled to match your child's sheets or be an entirely different color or design. Our choice of soft playthings, music toys as well as rattles means that you can quickly find something for your child to enjoy that's also involving. You will certainly enjoy the wide array of design and colors - done in fashionable child garments sizes. Whether you're getting all set to welcome a newborn right into the world and in need of baby room items or browsing for baby playthings, pregnancy clothes and accessories and also various other nursery items we have a terrific option of infant fundamentals. At least you can locate baby diaper examples, but a bulk of sellers use welcome baby bundles for their customers, if they simply understand where to sign up. This suggests, that in order for you to take advantage of free examples, after that you have to proactively discover brand-new deals prior to they are retired by the item producer. Exceptional problem, incredibly clean and completely functioning order. They additionally utilize such advertising tool in order to raise the sales of playthings, as an example, throughout off peak seasons. You are the one to gain from their sales endeavors. Among things that we did was look in the source coding. To assist you pick the best safety seat or booster for you kid by taking an appearance at our youngster's safety seat guide. For days out as well as concerning in the automobile, an infant child seat is a vital. In some cases, too, all weve obtained out of it was a day far from residence.

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[lamportb]

7.10 Daryl and Carol Part 2

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I would pay a significant amount of money and do a number of questionable things to find out just what exactly transpired between Daryl’s sad little nod of acceptance when Carol said she had to leave, and the start of this scene which appears to be a significant amount of time later. Did Carol ask him to stay, or was that just assumed? What else did they talk about? Did Daryl just take a nap on her couch? Does she change his bandage? I’m genuinely curious because it seems like the conversation about Carol choosing to leave picks up right where it left off on the doorstep and that just... doesn’t make sense? Even as someone who writes the occasional fic I’m kind of baffled about what the interaction between these scenes could have looked like, but I digress...

First off, this scene couldn’t be set anymore romantically unless a pair of doves flew in from the window and scattered rose petals on the candle lit table. There’s already a lantern on the table so it’s not like they need the extra light, but for some reason there also needs to be a gazillion candles like we just walked into the shoot for a Meatloaf music video. 

Despite the beauty of the set and the lighting, it makes me so sad that Daryl is sitting so far away from Carol. He’s tucked into the corner of the room with the table in the way and there’s so much physical space between them. What I take from this is that the guardedness that Daryl displayed after their first hug is still there. He wants to be in this room with her, but it’s also so painful because he knows that he has to break the news to her about Glenn and Abraham, and because he knows he can’t stay. And as much as Daryl loves her and understands her, I still think he’s hurt that she left him said Lamport, hammering this point over again with a sledgehammer. 

Melissa is absolutely stunning in this scene. Her timing is perfect when Carol confesses that she couldn’t lose Daryl, then pauses, and looks directly at him. And because Daryl knows that sometimes the best way to respond to Carol is to give her the space to continue, he says nothing.

What strikes me about Carol’s explanation about why she can’t kill is that she’s talking to Daryl, but she also seems to be speaking her thought process aloud to herself for the first time. She corrects herself. Pauses while she finds the right words to convey what she’s going through. Daryl is the only person she trusts to speak to like this - with complete vulnerability and truthfulness, and without interruption or someone trying to tell her how she feels. As others have pointed out, she is wearing her emotions plainly on her face. Carol isn’t hiding from Daryl, but he is uncharacteristically trying to hide from her.

When she quietly confesses that there wouldn’t be anything left of her if she continued killing we immediately get a shot of Daryl processing that line, which ultimately effects how he responds to her later. 

And then the question Carol’s been building up to: “The Saviours, did they come?”

“Yeah.”

At this point I fully believe that Daryl was ready to tell her the truth, but then she moves to face him and settles herself in for the bad news she believes is coming. 

Daryl doesn’t elaborate. He can’t. So then she has to ask if everybody back home is okay. The Kingdom isn’t her home. The creepy house isn’t her home. Home is where her family is. Carol is a kind and nurturing person. She doesn’t want to be apart from them, she feels she has to. 

Just seeing Carol worked up over the scenarios she’s imagining in her head, which probably aren’t even as bad as the events that actually transpired with Negan, is enough to keep Daryl silent. It’s not until she calls his name that he’s forced to respond. I believe this is when he decides to lie to her.

I love what Seth Gilliam said on TTD about this. Daryl lies because he loves her. He would do anything to spare her pain, including being unable to relieve some of his own pain by sharing it with her. It’s heroic, and combined with his threats to Richard earlier in the episode, speaks to the lengths Daryl would go to to protect her. He recognizes how fragile she is, and even though he is also fragile after all that’s happened, he won’t risk breaking her further. 

Having said all of that, Daryl is kind of shit at lying, especially to Carol. He swallows hard before he starts talking, gives the barest bits of information so that the bulk of what he says is not strictly a lie so much as an omission of the truth.  He repeats himself to comfort her. “Everyone’s alright. Everyone’s alright.” 

And then she makes this face and I die again.

When was the last time Carol smiled like this?????

I don’t care if she suspects that he was lying later. For this glorious moment in time she is happy enough to smile a genuine smile, and that is the best thing ever, but it doesn’t stop there.

To deflect from his lie, and to focus on enjoying this time with the person he loves the most, Daryl actually cracks a joke. And Carol’s smile turns into a laugh. It’s so perfect and adorable the way she tells him to shut up while she turns her to the fire, then quickly turns back to face him as if to say, don’t ever shut up. I love you. 

Daryl is still trying to get a read on Ezekiel, and I love so much that he asks Carol about him. If he’s okay by Carol, then he’s okay by Daryl. End of story. The dismissive way Carol answers his question emphasizes that she’d rather focus on Daryl and their time together - this becomes extra apparent when she dishes up his soup, smiles at him again, props her head on her hands, and just fucking stares at him while he eats.

On a related note, I love how they are seated at the table. That Daryl is a welcome guest at her house, who sits at the head of the table, is... a big deal to me, okay? That combined with the fact that she sits beside him, at his right side, instead of across from him (like she did with Tyreese) speaks volumes to me.

As for Daryl, tell me that sitting there with Carol and being nurtured by her food, her smile, her presence, isn’t Nirvana to him compared to the torture he just suffered. But it can’t last, which makes this next part so achingly bittersweet.

Are you still with me? Yikes this is getting long...

Again, I would die to find out what happened after the soup was finished, the dishes were done, and Daryl made his way to the door with his pack and weapons. Did they say goodbye before he walked out into the night? Did they hug again? Was Daryl distant? Did Carol cry, or was she still smiling?

Daryl walks out first, like a man on a mission. He’s had his taste of the good life for a few precious hours. He’s reassured himself that Carol is okay. He’s re-grouped and grounded in who he is and what he stands for because being with Carol always does that for him (and vis versa). This time it’s Carol’s turn to teeter on the steps, suddenly unsure of where to put her hands or what to say. You can bet your ass she’s going to stand there and watch him leave until he’s out of sight.

 The look on Daryl’s face just before he turns back to her is... hard to describe.

First of all, Daryl knows he has to leave. He’s a wanted man, and if the Saviours found him there they would kill him and probably Carol. He doesn’t want that to happen to her, and he certainly doesn’t want that to happen to him. I think it was @alannastara who likened Daryl’s expression to a man going off to war, and I think it’s a perfect analogy. He turns to see Carol to freeze that image of her in his mind - of her safe and sound on the doorstep with the glowing light of the fire behind her. 

But the image isn’t enough. He needs to hold her at least one more time. He knows he likely won’t survive this war. 

So this time he initiates the hug, which is so important to Carol. It’s a silent sign of forgiveness for leaving him, it’s a confirmation that this time together was just as important to him as it was to her. Carol craves this forgiveness and this closeness from him. I say this because of the way she clings to him and leans in to him, not to mention the nuzzling and the way her eyes actually close (unlike the time he hugged her after her capture by the Saviours). She breathes him in, tightening her hold at the base of his neck to keep him there. 

At the same time, she knows something isn’t quite right. The way Daryl is acting like this is the last time he’s going to see her, unlike every other time they’ve parted ways, is making her hella suspicious that something else is going on - I think we see that when they first come together.

Daryl is savouring this hug. He presses his mouth to her shoulder in the same spot where she injured herself falling over the bridge in that van with him. 

Yet he is still the one to pull away first. I’m not sure that he would have left that embrace if it were up to Carol. She seemed pretty damned content to stay put. And then Daryl says, “Watch out for yourself, alright?” Which honestly? That’s just another way of saying I love you. It’s another version of stay safe, or I need you to stay alive so that my life can be worth living, okay? 

And Carol just nods, temporarily without words after the impact of that hug they so badly needed. When she watches him walk away a second time it’s almost too much for her to bare. There is no doubt in my mind that she wants him to stay and I don’t necessarily mean for romantic reasons as much as my shipper heart wants that. She’s been all alone (yes, by choice) but suddenly after Daryl has been there filling her space, filling her mind, filling her heart... she doesn’t really want to be alone anymore.

[13thsongbird]

I tell myself I won’t apologize every single time I post on this blog after a long hiatus, but I grew up a Catholic in Ohio – we apologize for everything! So to anyone who might sometimes read this, I apologize for my incredibly long absence. One of my resolutions for the new year is to post more regularly here, so hopefully there’ll be more content showing up more regularly.

(I know this is my second post of the new year – Happy 2019! – but I started writing it first, so I figured I’d leave this all in.)

So! The thing that convinced me I needed to write again – it wasn’t a particular pattern, or make (although I would like to do a post on my family’s Christmas presents soon), but rather a life choice I made in early December. Almost my entire life, and certainly my entire adult life, one of my identifiers has been my hair. I’ve heard myself summed up as the tall girl with the super long hair more times than I can count, and after 27-plus years it had become a major part of my identity. This year, though, I started feeling disenchanted with my hair. It just… sat there. I hardly ever knew quite what to do with it, and so it spent a lot of time in ponytails and messy buns, the latter especially on days when I couldn’t get its texture quite right. I always hovered somewhere between straight and wavy, with annoying levels of frizz for the constant lack of volume. I love the color of my hair, but the days on which I loved my hair itself were growing less and less frequent. Time for a change. The problem was, the few times I’ve gone short, I’ve been less than impressed, and none of the shorter hairstyles I was finding were giving me any sort of thrill – there was no feeling of, wow. I bet I would rock that. Then one day, I can’t for the life of me remember why, I started looking up Instagram hashtags like #baldgirl and #buzzcutgirl and fell down a rabbit-hole of one thrill after another. These women looked badass. They looked large and in charge and incredibly free. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and slicked my hair back into the smallest, tightest bun I could and studied the shape of my head. Could I? Did I dare?

I figured it was best to talk it out. I asked a small circle of friends, including one who was a genius with hair and could give me a professional opinion, and was overwhelmed with the positive response: apparently, everyone else thought I could rock a buzz cut too. (I didn’t want to go full bald – like I said, I like the color of my hair, and I didn’t like the idea of going all the way to the scalp. Not for me.) While I initially toddled off to a salon, thinking it would be better to let a professional make the first chop, I was appalled by the price of a haircut in New York – even in Astoria, I’d be looking at between $65 and $85 to have someone whack off all my hair and then cut it all the same distance from my scalp, and it was even more expensive the closer I got to Manhattan. In hindsight, and after talking to my sister who also sports a short and semi-androgynous haircut, I could have gone looking for a unisex barber shop and probably gotten a much better deal, but instead I returned home and looked up every video and tutorial I could on buzzing your own head. It looked simple enough. I just wanted everything one length.

And so, I took a “before” picture. I knocked on my roommate’s door and asked to borrow his clippers. I sectioned off my hair into four pigtails, pulled out the scissors, and tried not to hyperventilate as I snipped through each pigtail between the hair tie and my scalp. And then – I ran my hands through my hair. It was so easy to ruffle it around, in its strange, short, ragged strands, and I easily spent ten minutes just fussing it around in the mirror and laughing at myself. It wasn’t an anticlimactic moment exactly, but I think somehow I’d expected to be overcome by such a huge shift, and instead it made me feel both physically and mentally lighter. A much longer time later than I expected (buzzing hair for the first time takes a hot minute), I’d used the clippers to trim everything as evenly as I could to 3/8″ from my scalp. I then spent the next half hour alternating between running my hands back and forth over the short bristly texture of my head and running to my roommates’ rooms to make them do the same.

Before…

…and after!

I don’t know if I’m just incredibly lucky in my friends and family, or if I really was just meant to have a buzz cut, but the response to my new look has been overwhelmingly positive. I’ve had a lot of people tell me how much they admire and respect me for making such a bold choice, and nearly as many sigh and say they wished they had the balls to do something similar. I’ve been told I have a well-shaped head (phew!) and that I carry it off very well. As for my own response, I absolutely adore it. I’ve had a few wistful moments when I see a very cool hairstyle and remember that I can’t try it on myself anymore, and I had a distressingly discontented streak when I was home over Christmas when I worried I was having second thoughts until I realized I just needed to start trimming everything down to my 3/8″ sweet spot on a weekly basis, but on the whole I’ve been super happy with my shorn head. It feels so nice! And it makes me look like Furiosa!

The steepest learning curve aside from my new haircare duties (daily washing is pretty much unavoidable if I want to look kempt, and weekly trims are a must) has been figuring out how the new proportions of my head affect how I look in my clothing and jewelry, which in turn is influencing my sewing plans for the new year. Strangely, removing two feet of hair that used to frame your face, neck, and shoulders changes your look. Who knew?? One thing I’ve discovered is that I’m not crazy about how traditional shirt collars look – I don’t know if it’s because adding bulk around my neck makes me look pin-headed, or if the full collar just feels needlessly fussy next to the sleek minimalism of my hair, but I’m leaning more toward a mandarin collar finish on button-up shirts and the like. For a long time, I was obsessed with making myself more button-up shirts, and constantly guilting myself for not having made up the Grainline Archer even though I’ve had the paper pattern printed and put together for nearly a year. I was also wild to make the Deer&Doe Bruyere shirt, and as many Alder shirtdresses as my closet would hold. Now, though, I’m trying to decide – if I make them now, will I even wear them?

On the flip side, I’m loving the proportions of a bulky scarf or cowl/turtleneck, maybe because they frame my neck and shoulders better? A bulky green infinity scarf a friend gave me has been getting a lot of play in my wardrobe this winter, so I’m looking at adding some oversized cowl necklines to my winter makes where possible – my Make Nine 2019 includes a Colette Moneta with just such an added cowl neckline. Or maybe I’ll just make a bunch of scarves so I can mix and match! I’m still analyzing and working things out re:collars, but those two discoveries have been huge so far.

I also much prefer a less girly silhouette, since I personally find the buzz cut both more grown-up and more androgynous than my long locks, and I’m looking towards tailored, clean details and more… mature colors? Mature isn’t the right word, but where before I could count on two feet of dark brown hair to tone down a Rainbow Brite-esque color scheme, now I have to temper bright colors within the outfit itself. I’m looking to add more strong neutrals to my wardrobe, especially in darker tones since it’s winter now, and I’ve already started playing with the way I put together the color palette of an outfit. I’d like to move towards having my beloved jewel tones as strong accents, rather than the entirety of an outfit – or, if they are the entirety, then maybe just focus on one, rather than cramming in as many as I can stand.

One of the strange but awesome perks has been discovering that my long-time aversion to pullover sweaters is gone, since the thing I hated was having to finagle them over my hair without destroying it with static. I discovered this when I tried on the Finlayson sweater I made my little sister for Christmas and realized I loved both how it looked and how it felt, and I immediately started scheming over which fabrics in my stash would make a good lightweight sweater. New York City in the winter absolutely demands layers, as I rush from warm apartment, to frigid streets, to drafty subway stops, to overheated subway cars, and back out into the cold, and being able to take a pullover on and off easily is a game-changer. Bring on the pullovers!

Obviously, these revelations are unique to my experience – not everyone thinks the same things look good, which is one of the things I love best about fashion! I’m definitely still getting used to the new look, but overall I’m really happy, and I’m excited to keep exploring the options I have in front of me. Going into a brand new year, I feel optimistic that I can shed past negativities and restrictions I put on myself just as easily as I chopped off all my hair, and move towards new projects and dreams without letting anything hold me back. Am I putting too much faith in a haircut I love? Maybe – but I learned a long time ago not to underestimate how the way I look can change the way I live my life.

The Chop: When, Why, How, and How It’s Influencing My Sewing I tell myself I won't apologize every single time I post on this blog after a long hiatus, but I grew up a Catholic in Ohio - we apologize for everything!