#and breaking the huge daunting task just means i have a million tiny things swarming me. cant fucking pick them off one by one.
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god my brain is so fucking hilarious
#leologisms#executive dysfuntion tips and they just DONT WORK FOR ME! because haha ha ha guess what. to do these tips you need to DO THEN#you need to DO THEM. and apparently i cant even get it together enough to do THAT!!!!!!#cant do body doubling because to do that id need to call up a friend and UH OH! WOAH! WOOOAAAAH DUDE!!!!!!!!! WHEEEWWWW#cant break tasks down into smaller tasks because i keep getting distracted by the big picture#and breaking the huge daunting task just means i have a million tiny things swarming me. cant fucking pick them off one by one.#like im standing in the middle of a swarm and someone looking on from the side is telling me to just deal with the insects one by one. fuck.#cant use brain tricks like doijg a different small productive task for the dopamine boost because thar just#means im not doing the BIG IMPORTANT THING im SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. every fucking second that im not dealing with that is wasted#AND GUESS WHAT!!!! I HAVENT BEEN DEALING WITH IT!!!!!! THIS WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!#just me swinging back and forth between distracting myself and feeling the full force of the fucking panic#and all the while NEVER DOING ANYTHING!!!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. god. i dont think im ever gonna get that diagnosis#and im never gonna get on medication and it probably never is gonna get better for me. is there a future for people who suck at life
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