#and blah blah blah what about people with mortgages and kids

[peiorestbonitasmea]

I hate the idea that just because someone doesn't have kids or mortgages or whatever that they don't deserve better pay. Even more so I hate the idea of disabled people not deserving better pay because someone is taking care of them. A huge fuck you to those who say these things. The only valid reason I see thus far for being against a hike in minimum wage is inflation because there is no cap (to my knowledge) on how much prices can be raised in response. People, in my opinion, deserve a baseline of a living wage and better pay than that should be merit based. Yes even a teenager. My spouse brought up a good point that giving teens better pay can be helpful for avoiding student loans and better for the economy in the long run.

[madafact]

looking back to push on

i have always felt that i was the black sheep of the family.

a bunch of italian names, and then the irish one comes out. no we're not irish and have no roots there. it was just a thing....

furthermore showing me that intention was never assigned to my life, kind of just like a left overs baby. ehh, give em whatever is left over.

anthony got named after family, i got named after someone in the news.

wow

even when i bring up this example, it does not land, in fact its another one of those, 'you see the worst in everything' situations. i have always been the debbie downer. the david downer, the brendon bummer. on my birth certificate my name is spelled brendan. but i was told my name is brendon.

i pursued my discomfort around my absent mom early in my 20's. this led me to so many realizations about myself and the setting i was raised in. lots of blame, lots of shame, lots of suicide, lots of misery.

i was institutionalized at age 8 for suicidal thoughts and "actions'

can an 8 year old load a gun? not if we strap them down and isolate them. thanks terrie.

so i have always felt out of place, the accident child, the one who kind of just pushed his way in. gregg my father likes to bring up the fact i was a 'cocaine baby'

meaning i was born withdrawling from coke and still he thinks my mom wasnt an addict or even a source of difficulty for my life or how i function in it.

he literally brought it up during a commemorative speech for anthony at a local dinner with friends, you should have seen their reactions and what they said afterward? "why the fuck did he bring that up" thanks gregg.

so we are here, the chosen son is gone, i heard at dinner tonight that the masters family died with anthony as i am incapable of having kids i guess. again, dont trust the accident child.

this is all after i spent the last ten plus years trying to fix the situtation of the family mistrust and blah blah blah.

lynne passed away and i became the center for the rage, guilt and shame that had previously been reserved for her. i was told i was an arrogant prick trying to steal assets and take everything for myself.

this is after i offered 100k for paying down the mortgage.

"this is my asset, you got yours now leave mine alone' thanks gregg

but i am here, in a space that i planned for. i saw the writing on the wall, given my future and well being, these people would throw me under the bus for their own gain and satisfaction.

i bought a van, built it out, got a dog, and said goodbye. i had a disclaim of inheretence all set up and ready to be notarized that would have made anthony greggs only heir. but i waited, something told me it wasnt the right time.

now the accident child gets it all, and that is not okay, so it all must be destroyed. thats where we are.

gregg is convinced i am the problem and he uses a victim mentality to squash any ability to have insight into his role.

he sits there while being regaled of anthonys struggle and not an ounce of realization comes out that he was the example that anthony learned to follow. not him, never, it was lynne and terrie, and me. me, 3 years younger caused all the discomfort and deceit that lead anthony down this path of self destruction.

so this is where i am at. i am grabbing my dog, taking van and going to do what i planned. gregg and terrie can fight eachother to death, destroy the houe and all the 'family assets' and thats just what it is

i knew this was coming. my journals are proof. i have physical proof that my mind wasnt going crazy, but actually seeing things as they were.

why would i trust people who have never had my well being in mind?

its always been about them, what the could gain, how they could benefit, and anyone else be dammed. i was smart enough to read the writing on the wall. and here is comes.

thanks for the lesson anthony.

[dirtywresling102]

Crossroads Deal - Finn Balor (18+)

Demon!King!Finn Balor x Melanie

Commission: @thepalaceofmelanie

Summary: Making a deal with the Demon!Balor but instead of wanting Melanie's soul he wants to make her his sex slave.

Warnings: 18+, Minor DNI, Smut, Public!Sex, Sex in a library, Studying for finals, Blowjob.

Word Count: 3,258 

Follow my main blog: @dirtywrestling

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Enjoy!

Pushing the gravel back into the hole where I had placed my picture in a tin can, standing up, I looked around to see if anyone was in sight. Nothing. Legend has it if someone put a picture of themself in a small canister along with graveyard dirt and a black cat skull and bury it in the center of the crossroads, they could summon a demon and strike a deal, but of course there was a price, in ten years some sort of creature comes and collects what’s theirs. 

Luckily when I dug up the tin box and opened it up there already had the ingredients inside and a couple of old photos of other people making deals in the past. I heard about the crossroads deals from my Mythology college class last term, of course I didn’t think anything of it, just an old tale but doing my research and finding out people actually have sold their souls for fame, money, looks, whatever they name it and they got it. 

College was becoming irritating, ten hour shifts at work on my shoulders didn’t help and I was constantly worrying if I’ll have enough money for rent. I needed something to change.

“You rang.” A Irish accent filled my ears, jumping slightly, I turned around to see a tall, handsome man in a black suit. His dark hair short and slightly styled where his greenish blue eyes burned into me, his stare lasting longer than a few seconds. I couldn’t help but to blush as I noticed his eyes slightly wander over my body.

“Are you really…” Words couldn’t form in my brain let alone finish the sentence I started. Was this actually happening, demons were real? 

“The Demon King? Yeah, I'm also a crossroad dealer.” The male smirked, his memorizing greenish blue eyes turning ruby red. Blinking, they went back to his normal color. “The names Finn.” 

“I’m-”

“I already know your name, sweetheart.” He cuts me off before I get the chance to introduce myself.

“You do?” My eyebrows arched in curiosity, wondering how he already knew my name.

“Of course. I know the name of every person who wants to make a deal, Melanie.” The Demon King named Finn licked his lips and stepped closer, the gravel underneath his shiny black business shoes crunched with each step. “So, what can I do for you, dear?” Finn was now only a few feet away, his form nearly towering over me. 

Swallowing thickly, I didn’t think I’d make it this far. I actually didn’t think this would work, just following some myth and the help of some reddit reviews from some possible emo kid sulking in the dark. All of this was a cry for help to get me out of what I was in. “I want to be wealthy with money.” I finally spoke out the truth of why I summoned him.

“Blah.” Finn spat. “You humans and money,” Finn started to circle around me, my eyes never leaving him. I quickly turned my head to the other side as it was starting to crank my neck. “Why, can a boy you like fall in love with you?” Finn laughed at my needs.

“Psh, no.” I scoffed at him for trying to assume and twist my words. 

“Pay off that mortgage?” Finn spat back another reason why I could have possibly summoned him.

“I wish.” I sighed, looking down at the gravel. What was his deal and trying to guess why I needed this money? Why couldn’t he just give me what I wanted and leave?

“Get that dream car you’ve always wanted?” Finn guessed once more, his Irish accent filling my ears.

“Not even close.” I crossed my arms and looked at him. 

Finn stopped guessing and stared back at me, eyes squinting. “Then why is it everytime I make a deal with most of you humans it’s always about money?” Finn hissed, it sounded like he was mostly annoyed than anything. He must get deals with people about money a lot.

“I’m in college, I’m on my own, I nearly work myself to death just to keep up with my rent and college is tiring along with it. I just want to live my life without having to worry about money.” I frowned, finally confessing onto why I summoned him tonight. 

“So, you’re willing to give up your soul in the next ten years just for money?” Finn was baffled, he blinked as he waited for my answer.

“Well, when you put it like that.” I reassured myself, my hand going to my arm and rubbing it in comfort, trying not to back out of this silly deal. Should I ask for more or something for else? I felt so small compared to him as he pointed out the flaw of this deal I wanted to make.

“Listen, I’ll make a deal with you.” Finn shoved his hands into the suit jacket pockets and stood there casually. “I’ll give you what you want, I’ll stuff your bank account with so many zeros and with no questions asked from the bank tellers.” 

“And you want my soul in return?” I followed up after his deal he proposed. 

“No, something better.” Finn pulled his left hand out of his pocket, placing it upon his scruffy chin. Watching his moves made me want to reach out and stroke his facial hair. I watched his large hand stroke his beard, my eyes never leaving his slender fingers. I swallowed, not even realizing I was salivating in my mouth at how much of a good looking man he was, even if he was a demon. Knowing his large hand he could take me with one tight grip around my throat. 

I couldn’t help but to clear my throat and squeeze my thighs together. I needed to stay focused and not have my mind in the gutter right now. “Like what?” My voice cracked slightly, I knew better, I should have just headed to my car and left, forget about this night and never come back to the crossroads again, but the other part of me wanted to stay, see what he had to offer. 

Before Finn spoke, he shoved his left hand back into his blazer pocket. “I get to have my way with you, whenever and wherever I want.” Finn said nonchalantly, his gaze lazily looking over me. As if he wasn’t interested in me but knew it would be fun to offer the deal.

I blinked, trying to think what he meant by that. “You… You mean have sex with me?” I choked. 

“Yeah, basically a sex slave.” Finn shrugged, as if he wasn’t bothered by anything. “If you don’t like the deal I could just make it to where I come and collect your soul in ten years.” Finn suggested. “Well, not me but my Hellhounds.”

“Hellhounds?” I questioned him. “Is that like a dog or something?” I didn’t understand what he meant by that. 

“More or less, basically they come and rip you apart and collect your soul to bring it down to Hell for my collection.” Finn pulled his hand once more and checked out his nails in a bored manner.

Biting my lower lip, I fiddled with my fingers. Now it was my turn to check out his body fitted in the tight suit. Finn huffed out a breath, folding his arms together, his biceps flexing. “I can let you think-”

“I’ve thought about it.” I blurted out, interpreting him.

“Oh yeah,” He purred, the words rolling off of his tongue like silk. “And what’s your choice, sweetheart?” 

“I’ll do it, I’ll take your deal.” I said without a second thought. I now didn’t know if I was doing this for the money still or to be in the sheets with this demon.

“Great!” Finn smirked, coming closer to me. 

“So, how do we seal the deal? Handshake, I sign my name on a contract with?” I started to extend my hand out towards him.

“Something like that.” He murmured, pulling me closer to him by the waist, his free hand caressed my cheek, leaning down he pressed his lips against mine, planting a surprisingly soft kiss.

My eyes widened, placing my hand on top of his chest. I tried to push the Demon King away. My eyes slowly fluttered shut, I stopped trying to push him away and melted into his touch. Finn pulled away from me, gasping softly for air. I looked up at the demon. “You made a great deal, Melanie.” Finn chuckled. “See you soon.”

That was three months ago. At first I thought Finn would come back in a couple of days but soon days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. He was faithful on his end of the deal, I had money in my bank where I could retire today if I wanted to. My fridge was stocked with groceries, my cabinet stuffed with canned goods, my car even had a full tank of gas every week.

Finals were around the corner and I was spending my saturday at the local library, other students from the college were there too, noses in books, staring at computer screens, some students were so tired from studying they fell asleep their elbows propped up on the table while they rested their head in the palm of their hands, drooling. 

Standing up from my table I forgot one more book for my anatomy class. Walking down the aisle of the large bookshelves I stopped in the health section, my fingers dancing along the spines of the books, looking for the one I needed. 

“Looking for this?” A rich Irish accent asked. Jumping slightly, I looked to my right to see the Demon King, holding up some kind of book about romance. 

I couldn’t help but to giggle. “No.” I grinned at him for picking out such a book.

Finn frowned, looking at the book and placing it randomly on the shelf where it didn’t belong, obviously romance didn’t belong in the health aisle. “I thought you females adore romance novels?” 

“I’d love to be reading about that, but sadly I’m studying for my anatomy final. It's coming up in a few days.” I started to look for the book I needed again, my attention back to the shelf skimming through the books.

“Listen, that’s hot and all,  I’d love to see you study for a final,” Finn teased me about studying in the library. “but I have something else better in mind.” Finn licked his lips and gave a mischievous smile.

“And what could that possibly be?” I asked, looking towards him, my eyes casted downwards, only to grow wide and quickly look back up at him. “You’re joking?” I gasped, Finn was standing there with a pinched tent pressing against his black pants.

“Oh no darling, you see I’ve had quite the chub since I’ve met you.” Finn’s Irish accent thickens with lust. 

“Why now? Why here?” I squeaked, quickly looking around. Luckily nobody was near us until someone needed something from the human resources section. 

“Well, you know how Hell is, soul meetings, soul counts, more meetings, keeping Hell from going, well, you know, Hell.” He chuckled at his word play.

“Okay, I get it. You do a lot of things in Hell to make Hell less Hellish. I have to study for this final so I won’t fail this course, I need to get an ‘A’ on this.” I sighed, trying to find the book I was looking for before Finn appeared.

“May I remind you, Melanie. A deal is a deal.” A growl rumbled from Finn’s chest, his eyes appeared glowing red, they flashed back to his normal colors. “Or you know, I could take away that money and let you struggle again.”

“No!” I said a bit too loudly only to look behind me to see if anyone was there to shush me. Swallowing my pride I turned to face the Demon King. “No, a deal is a deal, I’ll obey.” 

“Now that’s what I like to hear.” He purred lowly, stalking towards me. He towered over me, being a foot and a couple of inches taller than me. “I’ll try not to have you screaming my name, this is a place of silence after all.” Finn snapped his fingers, my clothes disappearing leaving me nude for anyone to see. The cool stale air hitting my bare skin, my nipples becoming slightly hard.

Quickly, I crossed my legs and my hands flew up to my breasts to cover them. Finn tisked, “Don’t play coy now love, you’ve enjoyed this, trust me.” Finn unbuckled his black belt around his black pants. “Just trust me on this, you do trust me, right?” His eyes flashed back to those beautiful bloody red colors. 

“Yes.” I breathed out, it was as if I was under his spell.

The red faded back to his greenish blue eye color. “Great.” Pushing his pants down, Finn rubbed himself through his black boxers. “Now, be a good girl and get on your knees.” 

Obeying his command, I lowered myself onto my knees, the carpet feeling uncomfortable as the rough fabric rubbed up against my skin. “Open.” Finn pushed his boxers down his thick thighs, his cock sprung up, hitting his toned stomach. Gulping, I tore my eyes away from his throbbing erection and looked up at him. “I said, ‘open’.” He demanded again, his words like venom this time, his patients thinning. Slowly opening my mouth, Finn grabbed my jaw, forcing my mouth to open up wider. He shoved his salty mushroom tip into my mouth, down my throat. “Hmm fuck.” Finn let out a deep moan. 

Water built up in the corner of my eyes, I tried to catch a breath before he shoved his cock further down my throat again. Digging my nails into his hips, I tried to get him to slow down. His erection thrusting in and out my throat I quickly tapped on his waist to stop. Finn pushed his cock as far down my throat as he could and slowly pulled out. Siliva connected from the tip of his dick to my lips which broke, making it snap back onto my face. Gasping, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “What- What the fuck?” I hissed up at him while wiping my tears away. 

“Sorry, I got out of control.” Finn grumbled, helping me up to my feet. I didn’t want to do this anymore if he was capable of getting out of hand. “I promise it won’t happen again, Melanie. We’ll have a safe word.”

“I think the word ‘stop’ is understandable.” I snapped, giving him a glare.

“Again, my apologies.” He combed his fingers through his dark short hair. “Okay, okay. Stop is our safe word.” 

“It isn’t a safe word, stop means stop.” I nearly barked at him. Finn’s eyes darkened this time, grabbing me by the waist and pinned me against the tall bookshelf. The books slightly rattling behind me.

“I said I’m sorry, now let me claim what’s mine.” Finn grunted, his hard cock nudging against my wet lips. “Oh my.” He smirked in a teasing manner, letting go of my waist with one hand and dipped it in between my thighs, feeling the wet coating. “I think someone got wet from me being too rough.” 

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I looked away from the demon. Finn dipped his fingers into his mouth, sucking off the juices. His eyes shut for a moment before fluttering them open as he pulled his fingers out from his mouth. “Hmm, so sweet.”  He moaned. Finn grabbed my waist again, making me jump up. He hooked his arms underneath my legs, my back pinned against the rough shelves. “Finally.” Finn whispered, he pushed the tip of his cock past my wet folds. “Holy Hell, I knew you’d be tight.” Finn sighed out, his head tossing back slightly. 

A sharp gasp escaped my lips as Finn pushed his full length inside of me, not giving me time to adjust around his cock. “Fuck, you’re- you’re deep.” Digging my nails deep into his shoulder, I left small nail marks on his skin. I was a bit worried that he was going to split me into two. 

“Such a good girl, taking my whole cock.” Finn whimpered, his thrusts becoming deeper, slamming his cock faster. The bookshelf behind me shook and creaked, a few books from the top fell onto the ground with a loud thud. Quickly looking down each side of the aisle for anyone to come by. 

“Don’t worry about love, we’re fine.” Finn grunted. “Just relax and enjoy my cock.” Finn pressed his lips against mine, shoving his tongue into my mouth, our tongues dancing against each other. 

A coil tightened in my lower stomach as Finn kept pumping his cock in and out of my drenched pussy. “I’m close.” I whined against his lips. Finn pulled away, opening his eyes that were now ruby red.

“I am too, sweetheart.” Finn grunted in my ear. My walls tightened around his pulsing member, my body was shaking with arousal, beads of sweat formed on Finn’s forehead, his muscles flexed underneath his suit. “Fuck, come with me Melanie, come with me.” He nearly roared out.

Crying out Finn’s name we both came at the same time, our juices colliding together. Finn thrust a few more times, pushing his come further inside of me. 

He slowly pulled out, our juices oozed out of my fucked pussy and dripped onto the salmon color carpet. Finn chuckled deeply. “Someone likes to be filled with cream.” Finn teased, helping me onto my own two feet. Finn snapped his fingers, clothes appeared on my body while he adjusted his pants. 

“I should uh, get back to studying.” I murmured, fixing my hair before anyone sees me.

“Here, I think you need this while you study.” Finn grabbed a random book from the shelf and gave it to me. It was the book I was looking for in my anatomy class.

“How did you-”

“I watch you all the time, love, I know.” He chuckled lowly and left on that note.

That was three years ago. College was finally over, I quit my job and moved in with Finn down in Hell. Sure he used me for a sex slave for a couple of months but we both soon caught feelings for each other and moved to the next stage.

“Mommy! Mommy!” My son came running up to me. “Daddy won’t play with me!” I couldn’t help but to laugh, picking up my son and carrying him down the hallway. 

“You know how daddy is, he works a lot, being King isn’t easy.” 

“My queen, would you like me to make lunch for the little one?” One of the demons that helped around asked me.  

“Yes please, thank you.” I nodded, making my way to the throne room. I saw Finn sitting on the throne, murmuring to himself as he rubbed his beard, it looked like he was in train of thought. I let my son down who ran towards my husband. 

“Well, well, well. Isn’t it my queen and little prince.” Finn smirked, putting the paper work away. Finn picked up the Prince of Hell and placed him on his lap. “Let’s raise a little bit of trouble, shall we?” Finn winked towards my direction.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Magical Girl Anime parody about a team of superheroes who permanently banished the Forces of Darkness in 1992, and have spent the last 30 years trying to figure out what to do next. What do you do when your destiny has come and gone? You peaked in high school, literally. You were the Chosen One from an Ancient Prophecy about the Fate of the World and the Balance Between Good and Evil and blah blah blah blah blah, and now you're a listless 40-something with gifted kid burnout, but it's been so long that you've already worked through a lot of shit with multiple therapists, so it's an old wound, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. You're married and you have a teenager of your own, and you REALLY hope she gets to live a normal childhood with no magic fuckery to ruin everything. You were the reincarnation of a sleeping goddess thought long dead, and now you have student loans and a mortgage and credit card debt, and your dad might die because his insurance company raised prices on all his medication, and your HOA president is a Trump supporter, and the upstairs toilet is leaking, and you've noticed that your car doesn't shift gears so well anymore, and it's one mundane crisis after another. You're still in touch with your high school friends, your teammates, your sisters, because you can't just pretend that that shit didn't happen, but you all live in different states and haven't hung out in person since the last wedding in like 2010. You made more friends in college and at work, so you have social obligations with boring people who can neither believe nor understand what you've gone through. This isn't some dark and gritty story about crippling mental illness and drug addiction like on the CW, you're just a normal ass adult with a traumatic childhood; welcome to the club. You live your life, you form relationships, you try to move on, c'est la vie.

And then your cat starts glowing and tells you "ReMeMbEr WhO yOu ArE," and you're like FUCK.

[fandom-imagination-ss]

Bridget Jones edge of reason Book review!!!

I know!! you been waiting for this!! so many spellers that I'll save you the time of acturally reading the book!! plus its over 15 years old so.. I dont feel bad

-Bridget gets "causally sexual harassed and it's barely mentioned andhonerlty that would NOT fly now a days ( thank god)

Bridget mom is planning too go on a holiday and is planning too cheat on her husband AGAIN!! (honestly the mom is awful)

So Many references too self help books!! its painful

Mark Darcys Banquest at the beginning.. Started at midnight and that's Strange who starts a fancy event at midnight?

I kid you NOT ! their is a mention of a self help book on EVery Page it feels like! its awful

So Rebecca In the second movie who is a co worker is actually Bridget friend enemy...

Daniel weaver isn’t mentioned / In it until 230 pages in! He only makes a cameo appearance on the book.

BRIDGETS FUCKIN MOTHER! FUCK. Basically she goes on her trip with her friend and brings home a man and he basically lives with her and her husband and he is t a bad guy. But he’s a world traveler but goes home with a new business and plans too build a school [ those knowing this series he probably just conned the mom lol 😂)

All of bridgets friends are trash.

The ski trip was a few pages long, basically Mark missed Valentine’s Day due too work and Rebecca suggested too go to the ski resort. Where she shows up, with friends . Which shocked me was that there’s was no pregnancy scare

Rebecca is basically trying too steal Mark away from Bridget. And for half the book she successfully did.. Rebecca is a AWFUL friend.. ( she has been friends with Bridget for 4 years)

The book is 200 pages too long. Dear lord!

Bridget hires someone too build a shelf in her place. (Gray) and he did a shitty job. But she hires him too make a outdoor terrace and a second bedroom and is shocked when he doesn’t do it... (cause he’s. A con. And then Bridget threaten to sue him and he then sends her a bullet and threatens too kill he

Thiland

I in the movie it’s a HUGE event in the movie. In the movie Daniel and Bridget are on a assignment for work and blah blah blah she ends up being arrested cause her friends lover puts drugs in her bag.

In the book Bridget and her friends go there for holidays.and they meet Jelp and Bridget gets arrested...

Now in the book this doesn’t happen until way pass 200 pages in! And it’s mainly just a chapter.

The worst part . She called her parents telling them about the arrest and bridgets mom confesses she is co dependent on relationships... not with being with her husband but other relationships and she is in rehab and so is her father who the doctors figure he’s been drinking so much because his wife cheated and scammed them with her last lover and with this guy she allowed too move in. Bridget doesn’t even mention she was in prison ..🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

There is a scene where Bridget interviews Colin flirth ( Mr Mark Darcy himself!) and that was soo awkward it was funny

By the time mark and Bridget get back together I was bagging the book too end! But I still had 30 pages too go!

The strange thing about this book Mark Darcy is a huge football fan. I didn’t see him as a sports guy in the movies

MARK DOES POUCH DANIEL AND IT WAS HILARIOUS 😆

then shortly after scene Bridget and Mark do the devil tango in her bed. But she has a panic button in case her killer shows up and Bridget puts the button on the bed frame... and accidentally pressed it.. ALOT and Mark gets arrested 😂 honestly that Scene is GOLD!

My quick summary of the book

Bridget and Mark are happy in love, go on a ski trip mark accuses Bridget of cheating on her, they break up he ends up dating Rebecca (unknown too him? ) Bridget spends Majoirty of the book complaining about being dumped, her friend gets engaged and. She ends up going on a girl trip and gets arrested. Marks helps and then she gets a death threat and then they find the dude and they go too a wedding ( AND THE GIRL TRIP / DEATH THREAT IS LAST 100 ISH PAGES OF THE BOOK!FOR A SOILD 100 ITS JUST GIBBERISH ABOUT HER FAILED RELATIONSHIP AND SHITTY JOB )

There was a part at the wedding where her friend was confronted by her husband’s lover, but honestly at that point I didn’t care.. this book is so Painfully bad..

My final thoughts

BUT I LOVE THE MOVIES! The mere thought this series has movies stuns me.

At least with the first book.. I was invested about mark Darcy, and her mom was so ducked up I had to figure out wtf was wrong with her.

But this book.. it was just painful 😣

Bridget is a idiot she puts a second mortgage on her appartment.. because a guy convinced her,. After he did a SHITTY job at building a shelf.. is stupid!

Mark not realizing he’s in a relationship with Rebecca was dumb..

Her friends are trash and awful people.

Too many references too self helps book that I want too burn the next self help book I see!

Again different form the movie.l but the movie is better? Which doesn’t happen often.

If you think I will suffer thru the last book! Bridget Jones baby! You are wrong!

I will only read that book if I get it gifted / for free and if I get paid too read it! I have no intention too read that book.(. I know what happens!) and I cannot suffer thru this series again .

My rating

3/10

........... not enough mark Darcy in this book

[heather-in-heels]

Today I got hit with a case of the mean reds, as Audrey Hepburn would say.

Several people (i.e. celebrities and individuals that have not been poor in a long time) have said that this time is the time to sit with yourself and understand what it is you really want in your life. While I have made some changes and adjustments here and there to my life — all of which are ultimately for the greater good and your growth as a person, blah blah blah — I just need to take a moment to bitch about the wildly terrible messaging in advertising during this time. Here are some of my favorite moments as displayed by ads.

1) Stay safe at home! But the home needs to look like it does in the commercials with a big backyard and kitchen and two cars in the driveway. How much are the people in these ads making that they have sprawling homes like these and aren’t crying themselves to bed at night or throwing up outside in the yard thinking about the mortgage?

2) Be with your family. Got it, single people need to continue to feel like garbage because we’re not married with kids. 

3) The entire “fast food as comfort” angle. (Please tell me somebody else noticed this.) Everything is closed, but you know what isn’t? McDonalds. And Taco Bell. I guess you can sign up for Daily Harvest, but Taco Bell is at least 4.5 miles from your home and doesn’t force you to cook! And something about Domino’s pizza being hot enough to kill COVID, I guess?

4) In addition to crapping on single people, it is also time to crap on people without cars. I have never seen more car-centric messaging in my entire life. Drive-thrus, curbside pickup, takeout! Oh yeah, and all you people without a car idk what you’ll be doing to get any of this. You don’t know the story of why a person doesn’t have a car. Not every body is an able body. And also, cars are expensive. Please stop trying to push a $30k+ car note on someone during a pandemic.

I’m sure I’ve got more but that’s the word vomit for today.

[muvaalilsz]

Stresses of the day...

Society has created this illusion that EVERY HUMAN must achieve certain things in life by a certain age. Do you know how stupid and just how unrealistic this is?

Everyone has their own journey and path to take in life, not everyone is for school education and can make it easily without a degree/masters. You also cannot control the environment you are born into, the different traumas people endure, not having a proper parent or one at all, can also determine the different paths you may lead into as well which may not allow the person to achieve such goals.

Can we also talk about the fact more and more females no longer want to bare kids, they want to enjoy life, make generational wealth, heal from past trauma, grow spiritually and simply just travel the world. Till this day, any time I visit my family we always have the same discussion without fail. 'When are you thinking to settle down, have kids, get married... blah, blah, BLAH!' Personally, I do not want kids, I do not feel that I am ready in life to do so, neither mentally or physically. You literally need to finance a mortgage to have a kid now days.

People do not even notice how much you have to unlearn and learn again while you are healing either. I have come to a realisation at the age of 28, that everything once taught to me is all practically a lie or an exaggerated myth. The other thing that stems from this is the fact that more and more people feel that they are failing in life and not able to deal with things but the reason for this is simple, we just aren't being taught the power of natural remedies, spirituality which was born from Hinduism can help achieve a higher self, knowing the financial side of life, meditation and the importance of eating right and having a healthy gut. Every basic knowledge we are probably having to learn for ourselves and literally digging for the truth.

Stop using the word failing/ failure, instead use learn/ learning/ learnt, because that is simply what you have done after experiencing or going through something. You learn how to react if that was to happen again, you would learn to approach similar situations or get over fear of conflicts and start addressing things head on.

Lastly, vulnerability is not weakness. It is strength and it shows you are brave. Until people do not accept and learn about vulnerability properly you will always be stuck. The book I have been reading actually explores this into depth and the author evidences her work through physical research from interviews etc. The book is called 'Dare to Lead' By Brene Brown. Definitely worth a read.

Catch you on the next post.

MuvaLilsz xoxo

[thesunandhermoon1]

this is going to be long and just for me thanks.

I woke up from a dream that’s pretty much a staple here in my head. i’m pregnant but it’s not big belly, it’s the first few months, and me and my school friends went to a wedding together, the wedding was blah but i remember the walking home and talking about that we have pregnancy classes cause i guess the girls i was chatting to was also, that it’s so nice we have it cause the last generations didn’t but then i was like.. nope i’m gonna go home and hugged my belly, and in my head he was the dad. like i’m coming back to him. 

and everything here is a fucking symbol. i know that what i’m going through for real is for me to evolve. the universe is practically kicking me out of my comfort zone. i can feel it. so strongly.  it’s like i’ve been in the shadows, i had a slow time living, i was healing, from fast paced places and people,  from people in general. from not taking a minute to process what i went through cause i needed that. i needed just that time off. and whops i had 3 relationships in like 2 years which never happened to me. it’s like a speed thing of your growing up and you need to learn some things about relationships cause up until now.. you didn’t had so much you had fun , now it’s fucking time to deal okay baby?? 

and i was like okay yeah but its fast im breaking up with him two months after i’m serious with another one, like... is that how it’s supposed to be ? can i... not. i feel suffocated. but i did listened to myself and took some things slow. my first one was with a dude from my fucking high school he was my high school crush even. and its as if i needed to meet him to cure or to think differently about that time in my life. i thought i was an outsider and he said like i think you wanted to be. and that was true. and it was nice.overall. until he fucking broke my heart. i lost my confidence cause i really felt that he made a fool of me, that i’m a joke. and also i got so mad about the breakup so it did show i was hurting and sort of immature. so i learned from that. i need to grow up a little and embrace that kid. she was loved and can be loved. and then quickly after i met my ex. we were together for 6 months or so. i wasn’t in love right away, i wasn’t in love i think in any way. which is a sad thing to say i wanted his attention so badly but we weren't compatible but i learned a lot and being with him kind of sped up the process of me going to school this year. so i learned what it is to be in a relationship, what i wanted, how i want and need it and also gave me a boost of knowing i am an artist. i can do what ever i want so i went for it. and two months later after a lot of healing, i was becoming this new version of me, i was in my element but also still learning. i met this guy and we had such a good chemistry. in our first date it was kind of magical everything clicked we knew this is something we both don’t want to waste even though we both had our fair share of baggage but we made it work cause it was worth it and i started school and suddenly, instead of embracing the changes of my life of my progress all my fears were on top. i started to latch, to depend, nothing was clear anymore, we started arguing, i couldn’t communicate like i used to, i didn’t pay attention to my body, i was just driving full force cause i know i love him and he loves me but i didn’t realise that i needed a. to embrace who i was becoming to. b. realising i can do that with someone by my side. c. i needed to ask myself question or reevaluate where i am or if i’m ready for this changes in my life. so i pushed him to the edge. and i feel like the universe is kind of telling me there’s a process you need to have and to feel and to do to become your grown self. but it’s something i guess you will know on your own cause you can’t do that right now with someone cause you get clingy or too afraid to lose them so you please. but the thing is you need to please yourself first. you need to know your own life before entering a relationship. he knows who he is he knows what to do and maybe that was hard for me to see. i need to find my own path. and i’m not ready for it right now. so this dream is kind of .. pregnancy in dreams is showing you there’s something in you that blooming right now and it’s in the early stages, and it’s okay take time but do it. i felt so content with this belly of mine. like i will protect it and love it. i know this is a time for me to just go out and do all the things i want to. that i need to become that grown woman and it’s painful. cause i didn’t want to lose him for that. and i just don’t feel ready. but i know what i need to learn and i’m aware but it’s sucks. it could be nice and give me a lot of pretty things and life and people and art and everything but now i’m just like.. i hurt someone so much and maybe when the time comes when i’m truly ready for a relationship he wouldn’t be there. maybe it’s a really final goodbye of just like.. do your thing im gonna do mine and thanks for the lesson and it doesn’t make any sense. i want just a time off and then come back to him. cause he is it. i can see me spending the rest of my life with him but i’m not ready for a wedding or kids, or mortgage hell no. but maybe he is. and that sucks

[messrsmemoirs]

Sometimes I wonder if I chose the right career path by choosing to be a teacher then I remember my fave character Remus Lupin is a teacher too & he is a good teacher so he inspires me to be a good teacher too. to inspire students, try and boost their confidence, be encouraging and kind. I actually think he’s probably my fave character as I have things in common like birthdays are close, used to love pranks, loves chocolate, similar insecurities, reserved, kind. Why is he your fave?

Alright this is long and personal and emotional so I’m adding a readmore and also a suggested content warning for child abuse and bullying and emotional blathering nobody wants to see.

For a number of reasons, many of which have changed or grown as I’ve gotten older. When I met Remus, I think I was about... nine? I was actually a little late getting into the Harry Potter fandom. I don’t even remember the year exactly, because I had no way of knowing how much the story would influence my life at the time. I think my first HP book was actually the Chamber of Secrets, and then I was surprised to find that there was one before?? And I had to read that one, too?? But I’m glad I did, because obviously two decades later I’m kicking here on a social media website for teens like a real adult.

Anyway, yes, when I met Remus I was about nine or ten, and... honestly, I think kid me was interested in his character for two reasons: first, because he was just a really kind person who was also patient and thoughtful. And second, because he was a werewolf. I’m not really going to lie, I’ve loved werewolves since I was a kid. So for kid me, that was like, “whoa, dude, that’s wicked rad,” and I definitely labeled that as the coolest thing since sliced bread. Dude was nice AND he’s a werewolf? A+.

I would label that as a brief introductory period, though, because I can remember in detail when Remus really started becoming this figure in my day-to-day. It was when I was 10-11, actually, and my parents had lost the fight with the bank to take over the mortgage of my late grandmother’s home. Having no place to go, we moved into a converted barn apartment in the dead of winter, very far away from the kids I had actually known. Now, I never had friends. Not really. I always sat by myself at lunch and on the playground, and leaving the few kids I could actually play with at recess was just a little blow unto mine heart. And when I went to this new school, I was all by myself. The kids spit on me and call me names, and I remember that there was this phase when I couldn’t look another person in the eye. We were so far away from everything that I spent the summer break alone (my parents were working and my sister was always spending the nights away from home on purpose), locked in the house-barn while it swayed in the wind like the old building it was. My parents were pretty emotionally abusive, and this was also around the time that my mother would start telling us about how she didn’t love us, tell us girls that we were fat for developing our breasts like we had a choice about puberty, or not make enough food for one of us because she was mad at us, things like that. Locking the refrigerator, blah, blah. The one teacher I had all year long (before the switch to middle school it was just one) actually went out of the way to keep me out of class field trips by not emailing my parents about changes to the schedule, etc. I remember I used to ride the school bus an hour each way, and I would like... beg God or whoever to just make it so that I wouldn’t feel emotions, and be like Spock. No emotions, so I could just be a robot and do what everyone expected of me. So... you know, this was a really rough region of time for kid me.

I think what really spoke to me about this silly book character was that he was just... really kind. And thoughtful, and he listened when people spoke about their problems. He took people seriously. He cared about people. And I think, looking back, that he was just the kind of personality, the kind of adult figure that I really needed in my life at the time. I didn’t ever have anyone to look up to growing up except for this fictional werewolf who, as the books came out one by one, was revealed to me as this person who was kind despite the things that happened to him. I was drawn in by how he kept getting back up in the face of adversity, when the entire world despised what he was without ever caring for who he was. How he suffered and suffered and was still so kind, how he still felt love, how he hated himself so much and yet he was doing so much good. ... And, you know, the werewolf thing was still cool, too, so there’s that.

When I was a teenager, I was the worst fan. I was very into Wolfstar, very into chocoholic Remus--and not that those things are bad, of course, but that was an earlier time, when we used Photobucket and something called Myspace, and I wore those black pants with chains on them because I was Different, not one of Those Other Girls. And please, I’m really not criticizing you if you do any of these things. More power to you, quite honestly. It’s just that I was kind of this kid who thought she was straight who had never had anyone ask me out ever, was very depressed all the time, and had anime soundtrack cds and wore a key to the house around my neck. I was very Not Cool. And my limited interaction with people and the world around me had me making these very limited headcanons that were all based on the fanon at the time, which were (surprise) wolfstar and chocoholic Remus. Yes, they’ve been around for literally forever. I hadn’t really matured in my understanding of the person Remus was, not really. But what I did admire were those same traits, and what I ended up doing was trying to push myself to be the person I thought he would respect. To be someone calm under duress, kind, and quick-witted.

And of course I was not those things, because I was a teenager going through a quiet emo phase that turned out to be the beginnings of mental illness. And I punished myself so hard for not being the person I thought I needed to be. I don’t do that so much anymore, but I still allow Remus to be my compass in life while being aware of his flaws (where I thought he had none when I was a teen) and more importantly, aware of my own. Nowadays, Remus is still the kind of person I hope to become like, but it’s so that I can be that person for someone else, maybe. So that maybe someday they won’t need a book to be their only friend, or maybe they can have a person in their lives who takes them seriously and treats them with kindness.

Adult me values Remus for who he isn’t as much as who he is. I value the deeply human nature of his flaws, and the raw emotional power his story really has. I value his inner strength and use it as a buoy for myself when I can’t help what’s going on in my head. I value that he breaks, and breaks, and breaks, and that he gets back up knowing that he will break again but doing in anyway. I value that he is afraid of people, afraid of the future, afraid of himself, because so am I. And he’s still such a kind and patient soul. He’s so angry and he has every right to be, but he’s still kind. He’s so hurt, and he lives his life in constant pain in one form or another. And he just... I don’t know. Remus has this awful life. Terrible things, unfair things, have happened to him, and he had all the potential and justification to become someone angry at the world and hateful of everything in it, but he didn’t. I want to do that, too, but I haven’t yet. I still have a lot to learn from him, and I’m really excited to see where things go in the future.

And I thought about being a teacher for a long time, actually, because of Remus. But I find that I’m not actually a good verbal communicator. Nor do I really feel comfortable with children... And I just don’t have the confidence. So I would actually love to hear about your journey into teaching and what it’s like in your experience with a little Remus in your head wishing you to do well. I did do a few things on my own because of him, though. I speak an intermediate amount of Welsh because of Remus, actually. ... Which isn’t the same as educating the next generation, but I get the jokes about carrots and morons now.

... So bear with me, as this was an entirely emotional ramble and not really coherent, but I do hope I was able to answer your question.

[pleasepassme]

Blog #dos

I work at a movie theatre. Every shift I greet people who have a love-hate relationship with going to the movies. “It’s too expensive!”, “How come you don’t have recliners?”, “I didn’t like the movie, so can I get a refund?”, “Why does popcorn cost more than my mortgage?” Blah, blah, blah; customer service.

Anyway, sometimes I help the ushers clean theatres if it’s super busy. Today I went in to clean theatre 4 that was just finishing rolling the credits for the newest Star Wars movie and there were still a couple people sitting around waiting for an end credit scene. There isn’t one. I’m not supposed to start cleaning until all the guests are out of the theatre, so I just stood and waited. I felt awkward in this situation (I always do) because while I do work at the movies, I am not expected to be in the theatres with the guests, sharing the experience with them. It felt taboo. So, I waited there for probably five minutes. There was an older couple and a dad with his daughter who was no older than 8 years old. She was talking about a mile a minute. “What’s gonna happen next?!”, “Is Rey gonna be like Luke Skywalker now?”, “Can I get a lightsaber?” “Can I get a blue one-no green-no blue…maybe green. Wait! I want the purple one!” “Daddy, can I be a Jedi one day?” And her dad, who looked exhausted answered, “Of course.” And his daughter just nodded. “Cool.” And then they left.

I wonder how those two would act in a more…serious(?) setting. Like the bank. The bank is quiet but it’s like a muted quiet. Kind of like when it snows, the sound is absorbed or something (you know what I’m saying?).

I think the dad would obviously have some business to do at the bank. I don’t know, maybe he’s setting up an RESP account for his kid or maybe he’s got credit issues, I don’t know. And maybe she is so full of energy but knows not to be loud because she’s at the age where she can read a room, but she doesn’t know how to control her business. She and her dad would be sitting on one of those bank love-seats and her feet can’t reach the floor because she’s short so she’s just swinging her legs back and forth, just looking around, wheels turning really fast in her head. Every couple minutes she would turn to her dad and whisper in his ear 3-5 questions and then sit back down, swinging her legs. “Daddy, why does that man have a walking stick? Is he going for a hike?”, “What is a student loan? I’m a student. Does that mean I get money for free?”, “That lady is wearing really bright shoes.” And then she’ll be quiet for a bit. And then, “Will I have a lot of money when I grow up?” and then her dad will go, “Of course.” And then he’ll get called into an office or whatever to talk about opening up a bank account for the little girl that has too many questions.

[mylifemydiary]

Graduation and new dilemas

June 23, 2020

We did it.  We drove 13+ hours (including multiple stops) to Fort Worth and back for my son’s graduation.  Overall it was a wonderful trip where I got to see family, take pics, work on my tan, and watch my son get his diploma.  Well, the diploma holder.  The baby did great on the car ride, with the circumstances, and only lost it on the way back with about 3 hours left.  He was over it in a big way.  But my husband was able to calm him down, as usual.  I think my baby can sense his patience and his calm, whereas I am impatient and angry and overwhelmed with things.  The days leading up to the trip were anxiety filled and lead to arguments between us.  I don’t know how caught up this diary blog is but we recently had to replace the entire a/c unit at our house back home, that lead to finding a leak in the roof, which also lead to finding out the foundation needs additional repairs.  The whole in the ceiling in the garage is still there, there are cracks in the walls in the living room, and several appliances need updating or replacing.  The dryer door, the ice maker, the vent hood, blah blah blah home ownership woes blah.  People keep calling and texting my husband to make a cash offer on the house, and I made a comment about yeah they are only seeing the outside, not all the problems inside and that sent us into an argument.  Not to mention the argument the next morning as we are packing to leave.  I, as the mother and woman, make lists of everything we will need on our 4 day trip.  What I need to get ready for the graduation, what we want to take to leave at our house, things for the baby... My husband literally needs clothes and deodorant and he’s good.  It doesn’t work that way for me and he knows it.  Cue the argument about packing things.  In reality, I did over pack because I didn’t work out ONCE during the trip like I had originally planned.  Shame on me.  But I was tired and heavy from all the extra food we had been consuming on this trip.  Not to mention I was on serious pms emotions because I was supposed to start my period while we were there, and I didn’t, which is a whole other story in itself.  I’m not pregnant, btw, I did a test this weekend and it was negative.  My period has been messed up for months now.  ANYWAY, my son LOVED his graduation gift from us, a laptop computer with music software that he likes, and we were able to celebrate briefly with my family on Sunday before the ceremony.  We enlisted as a last minute SOS his sister to help us take pics, and she did a fabulous job.  We were out in the texas summer heat but we did it and I have some amazing pictures to commemorate the occasion with my son.  Both my sons.  I did, however, forget the face cutouts my sis in law had had made that we were to use during the graduation, and we were late getting to our seats because we were waiting on her to get to our hotel room so we could leave.  I had always envisioned watching the kids file in while pomp and circumstance played and becoming overwhelmed with emotion... I heard it briefly as I sulked over leaving the face cutouts in the trunk and security not allowing us to retrieve them as I rushed to find our seats.  By the time we were seated the pledge of allegiance was over and the principal was speaking.  It was very different from what I had pictured but we were in a pandemic and all in all it was as good as it could be.  I was able to get pictures afterward with Zane for the last time before we left town, and say my tearful goodbye.  We made it back without incident.

I’m getting my tattoo this Saturday, which still sounds like a distant dream, so I’ll be happy when it’s over and done with and I have new ink in my skin.  

On his return, my husband found out a coworker put in his two weeks.  Basically, he has been told the job is his if he wants it.  There have been many discussions recently on where we see the future going, especially with all the recent problems we have had with our house.  Ultimately, my husband wants to fix it up and rent it out.  That leads us to discuss where we actually want to live.  Here in Florida?  Back in Texas closer to his work?  Or fix up the house we live in now and stay put for the next 10 years until it’s just about paid off and THEN make a move.  I think, last we discussed it, and believe me it is hard to keep track, he wants to finish the job here, which will likely wrap up at the end of this year or beginning of next, fix up our house just enough to rent it out, and then roll our mortgage into a gigantic new one and get a new house somewhere in Texas near his job.  He wants to be back in Texas because he thinks his dad doesn’t have many years left.  And he most likely doesn’t.  He’s not in good health and doesn’t take care of himself.  I am in agreement with all this, but there is still the matter of having one more baby.  Our original plan back in the day was to start trying once we move back.  I have a huge problem with being hot pregnant during the Texas summer months, which when we visited just now was in the 100s and it wasn’t technically summer yet, and want to wait until June or July to get knocked up so I can spend the heavily pregnant and hot times spread out over the winter months and have the baby in March.  I will be just shy of 40, and Leo will be 3.  Not to say I will be able to handle both children at once, especially since I have NEVER in my life seen that done firsthand, but I can’t imagine trying to keep a toddler busy and out of my hair while juggling a newborn and pumping or breastfeeding every 2 hours and not sleeping for days.  When Leo was a newborn, I slept in the two hour windows he gave me.  I won’t be able to do that while having a toddler to look after too.  I honestly don’t see how women do it.  Or I do see how accidents happen in the home more easily.  Oh, the toddler fell off the furniture?  Into the pool?  drank the poison from the cabinet?  yeah, probably while I was exhausted and chained to this other human being mouth to feed we felt like having.  Let’s just make things THAT much harder, shall we?  My husband gets 4 weeks off of work now, thank GOD so that should help me get caught up with rest in the beginning.  I can only hope that jump start is enough to keep me going.  And throw in the need to return to the gym in there somewhere.  Not that I’m in immaculate shape, but I would like to continue to work on my body and not just let myself be disgusting and let go once I’m 40.  It makes me break out into sweats just thinking about doing it all.  But I digress.

Now that this new job has become available, there is a new option on the table.  Possibly buying a house here, renting out the texas home, and staying put.  I don’t have an issue with that, actually, barring we can get a nice house with a pool (I can’t be expected to lug this boy to the beach all the time) down here in a nice area.  Interest rates are supposedly down right now because the world is currently falling apart.  But that leaves us with fixing up the house back home enough to be livable to someone, hiring a management company because I’ll be damned if we are to be expected to deal with a broken water heater at 5 in the morning from Florida, and with the stipulation that it be rented to someone other than my husband’s enormous family.  Because I can see it now.  Someone falls on hard times and ‘rent will be a few days late this month’ and how my husband will be super understanding, and then ‘a couple of months behind’ turns into us paying for both houses and strapped for cash and him unable to evict said deadbeat tenant because they are ‘family’.  Nope.  Not happening.  

Then he drops this bomb on me.  After he tells his dad, mind you.  He’s thinking about this job down here in Florida, but wants to move his dad in with us for 6 months at a time.  oh.  hell. to. the. no.  I don’t even want family visiting us as it is, invading my personal space while my husband is at work all day, let alone taking up residence with us and being in my face all day.  I don’t mind his dad, I really don’t.  When he lives somewhere else and we can exchange pleasantries and then go back to our lives.  He isn’t a very good housekeeper, and I don’t plan on cooking just because he is there.  I get a long just fine the way we are here now.  I work out in my living room since I can’t go to the gym anymore.  And that works for me.  I do not under any circumstances need an audience while I try to work out.  I don’t need an extra person to clean up after.  I don’t want someone interfering with how I raise my son.  I’ve been there done that with my own family and that did not turn out well.  I just like my privacy.  Always have.  And then what?  I’m supposed to be pregnant and have the baby down here with zero people to help?  And then my husband throws in the dad as an option to help.  The man can barely help himself, he won’t be able to pick Leo up or control him other than talking to him.  And 3 year olds don’t exactly do as they're told all the time.  Or any of the time.  I know my husband loves his dad and he is a good man, but I just don’t want anyone living with us.  It’s an inconvenience to say the least.  If that’s the case, I’d rather be back in Fort Worth in our house, fixing it up and spending the summer melting away with no pool.  Part of this is that I don’t like change.  I loathe it.  Part of this is that I value my privacy.  Part of this is I don’t want more housework to do.  Part of this is I loathe entertaining.  Expecting to keep people entertained and happy and have guests.  I want to do my own thing and everyone else to do their own and everybody’s happy.  We are right now at odds over this.  If this is how we have to do it, then I would rather leave Florida and never return.  As much as I love it down here, a huge part of that is the fact that there are no family members (his or mine) here to meddle.  We are on our own and I love it.  We can visit home when we want and on our terms.  This is something my husband and I have always had arguments about.  I keep my family at arms length, he can’t get his close enough.  Which I understand.  It’s how we were raised.  I was raised with a family no larger than 4 people.  He was raised with hundreds.  Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Sisters, Brothers, Nephews, Nieces.  I had none of that.  Zero.  And I grew quite accustomed to my time being my time and my things being my things.  Doing what I want when I wanted.  Not having to wait on anyone else or invite anyone else or take a poll to see when the best time to do what is.  Yes I’m spoiled in that way.  But it’s a huge thing to do to ask me to move someone into my home.  Where I go to get away from people and be in my own personal space.  I don’t even want my family to visit for 2 weeks.  I’m going to tell my grandmother she can come for 1 week max and no she can’t stay here while she’s here.  I would hope my husband will do the same for his brother and his family but I don’t know how that is going to go.  I’m not some evil person.  But my space is my space and I don’t need an audience or a guest to dote over and clean up after.  I don’t want to worry about us not having any food in the fridge.  We live how it works for us now, and I don’t want to have to change that.  

I have a feeling the worst is not over for me.  Far from it.  But I know me and I won’t be able to keep from pouting and sulking if I don’t get my way.  Which will lead to more arguments.  Which will lead to more resentment.  I don’t want to lose my husband but I don’t want to gain another houseguest either.  I honestly am angry and upset about the whole thing.  Why shouldn’t I get a say in our future?  Why can’t we have some mutual agreement, why is it 6 months at a time or nothing?  That’s half a fucking year!  And I know how hard it is to get a parent to leave.  My mother was supposed to stay with me for 3 months and that turned into a whole year.  I know how he is, and when the 6 months is up he won’t be able to say OK now get out, please!  6 months will turn into a year easily and then I don’t think I can keep the act up.  I will be bitter and resentful and we will only grow apart.  I don’t want that at all.  I don’t know what we are going to do but I do know this situation is only going to get hairier.  Help. 

[topicprinter]

My post was removed from r/smallbusiness because "it wasn't a question". So I thought posting here would be the next best thing. Original post below.TL;DR: Despite an easy, well-paying career, I was miserable at work. I was lost and felt broken. I was looking for something different, but I didn't know what. With some help, I bought a franchise run by some great people.I had been at my cushy corporate job for almost 12 years. During that time, I've pretty much been in the same role. Sure, I've had various title changes, and pay increases here and there, but for the most part, the day-to-day has been the same since the beginning.I wanted to move up the ladder, believe me, I tried, but for one reason or another, it just never seemed to work out. There was always an insurmountable obstacle in my way. The biggest one was the company itself, it was just too damn small, and there was nowhere to go unless the company grew. But, despite constantly maintaining the same headcount, give or take a few here and there, the company never grew as anyone had hoped.It's not that I hated my job, I was actually quite good at what I did. But I started having this feeling a few years ago that I could be doing so much more with my time and effort. I hated having to ask if it was OK to take my kids to the doctor, constantly feeling like I am not being a "team player", or feel like someone is disappointed in me because I decided to take a vacation (my boss rarely ever took a vacation). Also, I didn't like not having a voice. Despite working for my current company for over 12 years, I still feel like I had no voice. There are a few people that make the decisions, and that's it. Obviously, it is their right to do so, but I feel like I should have had some input after 12 years. My boss and I are separated by almost 30 years in age, so that may have something to do with it. But still, I was sick and tired of the company making dumb decisions without my knowledge or input.So, I did what most people would do. I buffed up my resume & Linkedin profile and started looking for something else, hopefully, something better. I had several interviews, but nothing panned out. I had only been interviewing for a couple of months, but I felt as though it was going really well, considering how picky I was being (benefit of not "needing" a job). But then my boss offered me a very generous raise (I had been due for a raise for almost 3 years) so I eased up on the job search and temporarily went back to being content.I felt great for a couple of weeks, then the feeling of dread returned. It wasn't going away. The extra money was nice, but it didn't fix the problem. At some point it hit me, it was kinda strange, it was like a switch being flipped. I realized that I was completely unfulfilled with what I was doing. No satisfaction, just boring, joyless work. I was doing good work, I was really good at my job, and the job was easy to boot (easy to me anyway). But there was this massive void, something that I couldn't quite describe. I'll admit it, I was completely lost. I didn't know what to do. If I left this job for something else, I will likely work in the same type of environment, doing something similar for someone else that I may or may not like. I had some decent business ideas, but I didn't think I had the courage, nor the capital to start a business, so I kinda wrote that idea off.Miserable, and completely broken, I persisted, because I had to (family to support). I guess I'll just put myself into that statistic of Americans that hate going to work every day. I never thought my day-to-day job could make me so miserable, but it did. Unfortunately, I brought some of that negativity home with me as well. I was constantly pissed off and short-tempered. Not at all who I wanted to be. Something had to give.In desperation mode, I started contacting career coaches. They were all expensive, and I was worried the investment wasn't going to be worth it. My resume and LinkedIn weren't the problems (they offered to "fix" them for me), it was my career that was broken. I needed a new career. But, how does one just go out and get a new career?"Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?That's the kinda frustration I felt. Then, something completely unexpected happened. I was contacted by an "alternative career coach". He charged no direct fees for his services, but he was offering perspectives that I never thought about. So I figured it was worth a shot. I am naturally a very skeptical person, so I figured there had to be a catch. Nobody does anything for free. So we meet, and we get to talking about my goals and situation, and he thinks that he can probably help. So he asks me to complete a DISC personality test to determine my skills, abilities, and personality type. So I do, and I fit the profile for what he is looking for, and his services fit for what I never knew I was looking for.Turns out, he is an alternative career coach/franchise broker (they get a percentage of your franchise fee if you buy the franchise). They find folks like me and help us find a franchise that might be of interest. They also help guide you through the process and kinda function as your support team. I know that many people scoff at the notion of buying into a franchise, I was one of them. "It's basically buying yourself a job/career" I have seen that posted around 📷r/entrepreneur many times. Franchise ownership was never even a remote possibility when I started this process. I didn't want to own a Subway, or a Wendys (for some reason fast food is always the first thing that comes to mind when I think franchise). I wanted to have my own idea, and build my business from the ground up, blah blah blah. The entrepreneur's dream. The word franchise felt dirty (to my stupid uninformed mind) and offputting, I had little hope of this actually meaning anything. But I shrugged off that feeling and decided to give it a real chance before I jumped to any conclusions. Again, it's not costing me anything, so it's worth a shot.He sets me up with calls from multiple franchisors that fit my interests. They all go well, but one really resonates with me. It checks off all of my boxes. Great income potential, expandability, low (ish) start-up capital requirements, no B&M overhead, great territory, flexible schedule/work from home, and an industry that I am familiar with and believe in. The icing on the cake was the franchisor. The people are fantastic, their support system is world-class, and they invest a lot of time, money, and effort into getting the business running smoothly and profitable. They aren't in it for the initial franchise fees, they want to make a successful product that earns them royalties and intern makes me money, makes sense. Their people are truly the ones that sealed the deal, I believe in them and they believe in me.Together, the franchisor and I went through a mutual vetting process. We needed to make sure we are right for each other. Just because you want a franchise, doesn't mean you get it. It has to be "awarded", there are a lot of boxes that needed to be checked off before you can be awarded a franchise. You need to fit their profile, you need access to capital, and some have net worth requirements. After talking with numerous franchisees, I decided that it was time to move forward. Luckily, I met all their requirements, so I drove out to their HQ and we both decided to move forward. We decided on a training date (December) and sealed the deal shortly thereafter.It also took a lot of convincing of my wife to let me leave my cushy, predictable, steady paying corporate job to pursue this opportunity. Luckily she believes in me and is willing to make the necessary sacrifices to make the most out of this opportunity. There will certainly be an adjustment period for both of us.Several things attracted me to buying a franchise as my first foray into the world of business ownership. When compared to starting my own business from the ground up, there is a lot less risk in buying a proven franchise system, especially one with such great people behind it. A lot of the heavy lifting has already been done for you. I don't need to come up with my own processes and hope something works. I don't need to make a bunch of mistakes trying to market a new brand/product in my local area. I don't need to figure out a good CRM that does everything I need it to. I don't need to build a new website from the ground up. Yes, I will need to learn about all these things in great detail, and determine how to best use them, but I don't need to waste any of my startup capital figuring these things out either. In a few years. if all goes well with this endeavor, I figure that's when I can build something of my own.Funding a business was a very lengthy and complicated ordeal, if you don't already have the startup capital, get ready to do A TON of work to get funding. Buying a proven franchise and using a broker helps, but it is still a whole bunch of work. I'd compare it to getting 2 or 3 new mortgages, there is so much paperwork and so many documents to sign. It's all-consuming, but such a relief when it is over. Let me know if you want to know more.Ever since I signed my franchise agreement, it's been hard to focus on anything else. I've been in hardcore learning mode for the past few months. But it hasn't seemed like work yet, it's been really fun. Also during this time, I've had to work for my current job. Which is kinda like every day being the last day at school, you can't wait till it's over, but you gotta keep going back. It's excruciating having to switch focus on a daily basis.One of the best days I've had in a long time is when I handed in my resignation. I was nervous, but I had fantasized about that day for years. It went very well, and my boss (company owner) understood. He was happy I was taking the leap. He shook my hand and wished me well.I leave for training right after Thanksgiving (3 straight weeks, on top of everything I've already done), and I couldn't be more excited. I finally feel like I am in a good place with good people, and in the right place at the right time. I am finally in the driver's seat, and in full control of my future. I think it's going to be the ultimate test, it's all on me to make this work. I envision that the next few years are going to be pretty rough. Long hours, lots of mistakes, and fluctuating pay. But I also think that it's going to be incredibly rewarding to watch my business grow and reap the rewards of my hard work. Luckily I have an incredible support system to fall back on if things start to get shaky. But I'll never have to say "what if" ever again. Cause I'm doing it.Based on feedback for my post on r/smallbusiness: Just to be clear, I am a small business owner sharing a story, I promise you it's not an MLM, nor some complicated ploy to make a buck. I'm not a broker, I'm not selling anything, and I don't want your business. But there are a lot of people that have very little knowledge of franchise ownership, so I thought I would shed some light on the subject. It's certainly not for everyone, but it's worth a look if you are looking for something different. If you are interested in learning which particular franchise, feel free to drop me a DM.

[hustlemeanokay]

I wanted to deviate from the “parents are horrible” rhetoric for a moment, since that’s been running wild on Tumblr for awhile now. And I wanted to talk about something a lot of people don’t really think about - but yet post about all the time. 

I see so many posts that are like “when I have kids ---” blah blah blah and so many of them completely miss the mark. Yes, we all want to give our kids the things we never had. It’s very idealistic and naive to think that you’ll never punish your kids or that you’ll never have those kinds of “oppressive rules” (ie: a bedtime). And so many people are completely missing the best part of being a parent. 

Being sneaky. More below the cut because this turned into a freaking essay. 

It sounds off but hear me out - the absolute best part of being a parent is turning into a stealth 100 bad-ass. From day 1 you turn into a master of trickery, you really do. Don’t believe me. Fucking peek-a-boo. Then, tooth fairy! And the biggest, longest lasting one... Santa Clause. My own father (I’m 35...) will still try to tell me “uh, no... see... Santa’s real”. At this point, it’s a joke but think about that. That’s, for him, a thirty five year old bold faced lie. I’m not talking about the whole psychological bru-ha-ha about how Santa is used as some malicious tool to keep kids in line. No, I’m talking about that Christmas morning surprise. The “holy shit! someone straight up broke into our house and left us presents!”. That’s the sneakiness I’m talking about. The same kind of sneakiness that goes on whenever you just do something nice for someone and then be all “me? oh, it wasn’t me” but it was you and you are 100% enjoying yourself because you didn’t do it for the praise or the recognition, you did it because it was nice. 

And so many people are missing this key point to parenting. It’s not just Santa either, we do this kind of shit all the time. My daughter’s 15 and she loves Peace Teas (like - it’s a problem...) and those suckers are a buck a pop and she can plow through them like the antidote if allowed. We aren’t made of money but we routinely get them for her, nonchalantly put them in the fridge and when she sees them she’s like “omg! you got me some peace teas?!” and we both will be like “no idea what you’re talking about”. Because it’s awesome. She knows we’re lying our asses off but it doesn’t matter - because it’s also teaching her to just do nice things for people not because you want them to thank you or because you want someone to necessarily notice, just do straight up... nice things for someone for no damn reason. 

And then, even better, you get to plan out future sneakiness. For example - my daughter knows full well that if she lives with us after she’s 18 and she’s not going to school (even during the summer). She’ll be expected to have a job because she’ll be expected to pay rent. She already knows that once she gets her car (which we’ll be getting her because it’s insane to expect a sixteen year old to be able to afford a vehicle - it won’t be new but it won’t be a complete piece of crap either), but once she gets it, she’ll have to either pay to put gas in it and pay the insurance on it or earn it by like... watcher her brother or... doing out of role chores - etc. Now - she thinks that this is just us being people like her paying for her car, sorta. What she doesn’t know, or hasn’t figured out, is that this will actually teach her about bills. Not responsibilities because those aren’t just bills but she’ll start to learn about how much things actually cost (because let’s face it - teenagers, most of them, don’t have a damn clue). But back to the rent thing - she’ll be expected to pay rent. Not like a thousand bucks or anything crazy, but like... I don’t know, three or four hundred a month. Because food, electricity, and water all cost money. I’m not talking about mortgage or anything because that’d be paid whether she was there or not. But here’s the thing... that money she pays us? It’ll go into an account that’s for her. So when she does leave - say... she lives with us from age 18 to 22, not unheard of and not impossible either - that’s five years. Say she doesn’t go to college, but goes to trade school or something or she just works during the summer or whatever - or she wants a part time job. Whichever the cast may be, she could easily have paid us about ten grand during those five years. And ya know what? When she wants to move out? Guess what she’ll be getting from us? That ten grand. It’s some sneaky ass shit but it’s got a very good reason behind it. She’ll learn about paying rent (or mortgage for later) etc. She’ll learn about that responsibility but at the same time, I won’t expect her to save any money because come on, saving money is hard as hell mainly because it’s optional - but paying rent? Not so optional. So, we’ll save the money for her. 

Because to me - aside from the sneakiness of it - that’s part of it. I believe that part of being a parent is giving your kid the best shot they can have. You don’t have to be rich to do it - you don’t have to even have money be involved. But you shouldn’t just raise them until they’re 18 and be like “good luck!” No - you should give them their absolute best shot as they go out into the world. Buy them that car - it doesn’t have to be new hell, it just has to be reliable and relatively safe, do whatever you can to help pay for their college or pay for it outright - whatever the case may be. Give them that jump start. They will have earned it if you do it right. And part of doing it right is not letting them know that they’ll have this windfall because then they won’t do shit because they’re still young and why should they be responsible if they know their parents are going to just foot the bill for their first apartment or whatever. Offer to be that co-signer if you can, help them navigate the waters of the adult world because you’ve been in them, up to your freaking eye-balls and they haven’t. They shouldn’t have any idea how to adult. Because they aren’t one, the never have been. You’ve been an adult for awhile and you know like... what’s wrong with the washer when it makes a thumping noise and tries to run away on its own - you know that lining a bowl with foil and then pouring hot grease in there is ten million times easier than washing it out of a pan and you so know not to put it down the drain and why. You know how to find contact information for everything under the sun, even oddly invisible phone numbers for Amazon customer service. You know so much stuff simply because you’ve been there, lived through it - maybe your parents helped you or maybe they didn’t, it doesn’t matter. Because, again, you should give your kid their best shot. Lend your kids your experience, lend them your age when they have to deal with landlords or bankers or anyone who is treating them lesser simply because they’re younger. Lend them your knowledge of all the little things that no one ever thinks about when they leave home. And don’t do all of this stuff from 18, start when they’re younger. Teach your kids, both sons and daughters, how to cook, how to do laundry, how to clean. Give. Them. Their. Best. Shot. 

[wxkryarb-blog]

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[automatismoateo]

Atheists of Reddit: what is a story of an instance (or instances) where common knowledge of your atheism seriously fucked you via /r/atheism

Submitted June 10, 2019 at 10:25AM by phthalo-azure (Via reddit http://bit.ly/2MFMgfs) Atheists of Reddit: what is a story of an instance (or instances) where common knowledge of your atheism seriously fucked you

Mods: it's my first time posting on r/atheism, so if this post doesn't fit here, let me know and I'll kill it.

Edit to add: I was going to post this on r/askreddit, but was worried that it would be deleted as a "personal attack" on Christians.

​

*** tl;dr at the bottom

​

For my tale, I have to go back about 15 years to a time when I ran my own consulting firm (the details of this particular story began in 2005). I had about 10 employees, several hundred clients, and made a decent income every year. My work focused on the real estate industry, with many of my clients being real estate agents/brokers, mortgage brokers, home construction companies and contractors, repair businesses, home services, and other companies in the industry. I worked damn hard to build up my client base and many of my clients were earned through hard work, a good reputation, word of mouth, and referrals. My consultation work covered a broad range of services: technology, customer relations, bookkeeping, marketing, Human Resource management, recruitment, and almost anything related to business. I was indispensable to a lot of small businesses and individual operators who couldn't afford to pay full time employees to perform these functions.

​

One of my clients (I'll call him Jim) who worked for a large real estate broker turned out to have a lot of the same interests as me, and we became good friends over the several years we knew each other. We spent a lot of time together golfing, bar hopping, barbecuing, camping, fishing, etc. We took our families camping together and all round just enjoyed each other's company. Jim attended one of the mega churches in the area, which didn't bother me - he didn't evangelize and only every really talked about the activities, family events, etc, and even that was pretty infrequent and not pushy at all.

​

For Easter one year, Jim's church was having a concert where some popular Christian rock groups would perform before and after the service. Jim invited me to the concert and service, which was the first time he'd ever done that. I politely declined with some excuse why I couldn't attend. I can't remember the excuse, but knowing myself pretty well, I probably told him I had family stuff to do. Jim seemed a bit weirded out that I'd declined; I live in an extremely conservative and ultra religious part of the country, and believers who live in a bubble tend to think everyone around them is a believer of one stripe or another, so it probably seemed odd to him that I'd refuse such a great opportunity to see these awesome bands and hear the uplifting message of Christ's resurrection.

​

Note that Jim and I had never really discussed religion. Our relationship started out professional, and once we became more friendly the topic never came up other than Jim asking me where I attended church (which is a pretty normal question in these types of highly religious communities). I can't remember exactly what I told him, but my stock response to these types of questions is usually something along the lines of "I grew up Mormon and spent a considerable amount of time attending an Episcopal church, but I'm currently between churches." Since where I live it can be devastating to come out of the atheist closet, I try to keep it a closely guarded secret to maintain my professional life, friendships, family relationships, etc.

​

A few weeks after the Easter concert invite, Jim and I went camping and fishing with a couple other people and ended up getting pretty drunk around the campfire the first night we were there. After we were deep in our cups, Jim started asking about my rejection of the invitation to attend his church, how it upset him, how he thought that a good friend would have accepted, why it offended him, blah, blah, blah. Being drunk myself and making the mistake that as a good friend I could trust him, I made an oopsie and told him the story of my own religious upbringing, my time in the Mormon and Episcopal churches, and my exodus from believer to full blown atheist. I told him it was nothing personal, but I just didn't have an interest in religious stuff.

​

This is where the problems began. Jim was mostly quiet and standoffish for the rest of the camping trip, and I didn't hear from him for a couple weeks afterwards. My next contact with him was a phone call where he informed me that he was pulling his business from my company. He "couldn't work with someone who doesn't believe in anything", and accused me of having no morals, that I was going down a bad path, and that I "was lost". I was devastated. Losing a single client wasn't that bad, there were always new ones coming in and I was making plenty of money, but I knew I'd lost a friend. Particularly hurtful was when he told me he couldn't trust me around his kids. "Atheism often leads to theft, murder and pedophilia".

​

But that's where things got really bad. Soon, other clients started cancelling their contracts with me. At first it was just a trickle, but it got worse and worse over the coming months. I live in a fairly tight-knit community, and the clients I serviced all knew each other because of the work they did, and apparently, knowledge of my atheism had seeped out to the entire industry group, and many were cutting ties with me. In the space of a year, I went from ~350 clients to less than 100. My income was seriously affected, and I had to lay off some good employees because I didn't have work for them to do and couldn't afford to pay them. They even asked me not to coach youth football anymore as "they had more coaches than they needed." I knew that was bullshit but what could I do about it?

​

It wasn't long after that the Great Recession hit, and my client base was hit especially hard. In 2007, I had to close up shop because I was losing a lot of money. If I'd had more clients, I might have been able to hang on for a couple years until the worst had passed, but because my client base had been decimated, and it had become almost impossible to sign up new clients with my new reputation as the atheist guy, Jim ratting me out as an atheist essentially destroyed my business. It also destroyed all my trust in believers, even the ones I perceived as "good people". And it's made me wary to discuss my atheism with anyone outside of my wife/children and some trusted friends that I've known since high school who were already aware I was somewhat of a free thinker. The loss of my business and income almost cost me my marriage, and it took until ~2015 to pay off the debt I'd accrued in an attempt to keep paying my employees in the hopes that things would get better. The counseling to deal with it has cost me thousands of dollars, and I'm not sure I'll ever fully heal from the trauma.

​

*** tl;dr: came out as an atheist to a client who I considered a close friend and he leaked the info and destroyed my business.

​

PS: fuck all the Jim's out there that would put their stone age beliefs over basic human decency and destroy great friendships in the furtherance of their Christian agenda.

[clauscrayon7-blog]

Weekend Reads

When you read this I will be at my town's Labor Day festival, working the book sale. If you follow my Instagram Stories you know about this event – my daughter's school collects book donations from neighbors, sorts them into categories, sells them at the festival and all the money goes to the PTA. The whole thing is volunteer-run, and it's a tradition that has taken place for 50 years. Last year the sale brought the school over $10,000. Yesterday we moved three U-Haul trucks of donated books from the school to the festival grounds and it made me so grateful for my fitness routine.  At the end of the day I was so sweaty and so tired… but I didn't hurt. I was keeping up with the big guys picking up and moving wine boxes full of hardbacks and it was pretty exhilarating!

Labor Day Weekend Sales

A quick PSA of some of the best sales going on this weekend before we get into the random things that piqued my interest on the internet this week:

ANN TAYLOR: 40% off full priced items, 50% off sale with promo code READYSETSALE

ASOS: Get 20% off everything to celebrate Labor Day weekend with code DAYOFF

BODEN: 20% off for men and women and 25% off for kids with code G9C2 plus free shipping and returns for orders over $49

ELOQUII: 40% off full-priced items with promo code MAJORSALE plus an extra 50% off clearance

J. CREW: 40% off your entire purchase, for once this includes new arrivals! Code BIGSALE

LANDS' END: 40% off all full-priced items with code: PARADE pin: 6028

LOFT: 40% off your entire purchase with code LABORDAY

MACY'S: Take an extra 20% off the Macy’s Labor Day Sale with code WKND, plus free shipping starting at $49

OLD NAVY: 50% off jeans, tees, sweatshirts and dresses, no code necessary

TALBOTS: 25% off full-priced items and an additional 20% off sale, no code needed

UNIVERSAL STANDARD: Buy any pair of pants and get a tank for free with promo code HELLOFALL

Weekend Reads

So this article is essentially saying I am having a very trendy form of midlife crisis. Way better than a Porsche and a 25-year-old!

Canadian readers rejoice, Nordstrom is looking to woo you! With their new campaign True Nord (which features badass babe Mel from Bag & a Beret) they will be saturating your computer, TV, and nearby transit shelter. Click to learn more and see a video featuring the 13 Canadian “real people” featured in this campaign.

For all of those who have emailed me annoyed that my Clare V green croco-embossed clutch (see my archives using this bag) is no longer available and my “similar” options aren't similar enough… Clare V brought it back! This was a random splurge purchase for me but it is by far the hardest working clutch in my wardrobe. How does a dark green go with everything? No idea, but it does!

My friend Kaarin Vembar (she shared her beauty routine here on Wardrobe Oxygen) along with Kayla Randall wrote this amazing piece of investigative journalism about pregnancy and childbirth here in DC. The piece mentions my friend Lexa, who also shared her beauty routine for my skincare series. The US already has a screwed-up culture for childbirth, and DC is an example of how incredibly awful it is. It's a tired phrase, but so true. Do you think it would be like this if men were the ones to get pregnant?

If you're a member of the Wardrobe Oxygen community on Facebook, you already know my thoughts on fast fashion sites (if it seems too good to be true in that Instagram/Facebook/Pinterest ad it probably is and likely made in an incredibly unethical sweatshop). I see so many people raving about Fashion Nova but the brand has always left me feeling icky. My icky feelings are now even more justified.

For every person who dies by suicide each year, another 280 people think seriously about suicide but do not kill themselves. “Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.” A powerful piece on why we should focus more on the stories of suicide survivors.

What's cuter than cute? How about Marcia Gay Harden's teenage son using her as a model for his YouTube makeup turtorial?

“The latest iteration of the American dream might not be about owning a house at all. It might just be about financial stability.” This is a long read, but an important one. My friend Lisa Rowan (who also shared her beauty routine) and Desiree Stennett wrote this powerful piece about foreclosures and the US mortgage crisis. Open it up in a tab, read a bit at a time, but it's worth finishing it. This is an issue that isn't over and in the long run affects all of us.

“People tell me I’m not relevant anymore, blah, blah,” she said. “But who wants to be relevant? It’s a lot of work, to stay in that place forever. I’ve never wanted to sell myself. All I ever wanted was for someone to take me seriously.” A really great piece on Anie MacDowell (FYI she has a movie coming out on Hulu next month that sounds pretty fab).

This Week's Reader Question

“I’m searching for the perfect black pant for work. I’m a size 18, 5’7”. Classic and long enough. Suggestions?”

One of my favorite places for pants is Banana Republic. They have lengths and go up to a size 20. Here's a link to all their pants in a size 18, color black, long length. I've owned several pairs of Banana Republic pants and my two favorite styles for work are the Ryan (machine washable FTW!) and the Logan (also machine washable).

J. Crew also carries wonderful work trousers; they too go up to a size 20 and have tall lengths. Here's a link to the options in black, tall, size 18 that are work appropriate.

NY&Company makes great pants, also with a ton of lengths to choose from. Here is a link to all of the pants they carry in a size 18 in black. I am partial to their 7th Avenue Pant which is a straight leg, classic style, and comes in a few different cuts and fabrics.

Finally, ELOQUII is far more than just colorful and fun dresses.  They now have workwear and it gets rave reviews.  Their 9-to-5 Stretch Work Pant comes in long lengths, and their Kady Pant is a cult classic because of the amazing fabric and great fit and also comes in long lengths.

Do you have a question you'd like answered on Wardrobe Oxygen? Send me an email and you may be featured in next weekend's Weekend Reads!

It's Labor Day weekend, the last hurrah for summer. How about a poppy tune and a colorful happy video to dance you into the weekend? TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME, the latest from The 1975, a band I have enjoyed for a couple years now:

Source: https://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/2018/09/weekend-reads-18.html