#and biochem scares me

[justchillaine]

Day 1 of studying for NMAT (but I have like 1150+ days till the exam)

[rexcaliburechoes]

diamant, the horrors chamber, and why he’s just so fun to mess with // the diamant-sertation series

i’d talked a little about this before on twitter about diamant angst and if i’m doing alright (i’m fine just biochemistry major go brrrr) and i just remembered this:

and i wanted to think about this for a little bit. i’m going to try and not retread old ground, but that’s kind of impossible if i want to break him in a realistic way.

but i was mostly thinking about how easy it is to destabilise him. i might be woobifying him too much, but i swear, i’ve been through this rigamarole before with a variety of characters. i’ve hurt characters over and over and over again, testing their limits, watching them bend and potentially break, and diamant has keeled over the fastest. it’s kind of funny in a bit of a twisted way.

but i mean it: why does he bend to easily compared to others?

i think it’s because he Refuses to experience The Horrors, and so when something encroaches on that tenuously stretched self control, he simply cannot deal with anything new, so he shuts down. you’d think he’d have a fight response to new stressors (he is of brodia; if you can’t fight, then what kind of brodian are you?) but i think he’s gone past that point. he’s dealing with enough already as it is, just One More Thing just will set him off. he’s tired, overwhelmed, and bottles everything up because He Should Be Able To Deal With It.

there’s definitely an allegory of being undiagnosed neurodivergent in here somewhere but we don’t have time to unpack all that.

but since diamant is so easily burnt out (which, haha, funny fire trauma go brr), he’s just an easy target to picking at all of his weaknesses and flaws. diamonds have very predictable cutting planes, and if manage to hit one just right, the entire crystal will shatter.

[lavenderongunpoint]

Today is sinday and I want to say that Jae-Hwa is a buff lady with her skin decked in tattoos, Stelle is another buff person but tall (like 6'4 in my mind) and they have no scars but there sits a large, gaping scar by their heart where the stellaron hides.... that is all ( disappears to discord )

[ririblogsss]

y'all if any of you guys wants to expand upon or use as inspiration anything I've written do so. Also if you guys want me to write more abt something tell me.

Anyways with that out of the way.

Ive been thinking about collage Danny AU but instead of going to Gotham he goes to central city (its in Ohio, and The flash is based there). So im thinking that the population over there has a massive percentile of meta humans compared to other cities, because of the particle accelerator incident plus the multiple flash points. All this to say is that the people in Central City are used to civilians having enhanced strength, uncommon dietary restrictions, random outburst of power act.

So Danny just turned 18 comes in to get his degree in biochemical engineering and astronomy, after finishing school with extra credits. He gets a dorm with 2 other people a meta with speeding problems and a normal dude named Sam.

In Dannys perspective he is a very chill roommate, making sure he washes after himself when using the kitchen. Regularly taking out the trash ect..

In his roomates perspective, they think Danny is a paranoid meta who recently escaped a dysfunctional household where he was discriminated for being a meta.

why they have this assumption simple. Danny is clearly malnourished and refuses to actually make a diet he needs. Only eating small servings of food, and trying to save as much as possible for later. He gets paranoid when using moe strength than a human should posses, almost as if he's scared of getting found out. And third of all Danny glows in the dark, quite literally, its not an annoying or absurd amount. Danny glows the same way glow in the dark stars do.

So yeah Dannys roommates know he is a meta but they don't know how they should breach the subject as its clear that Danny is very paranoid of getting found out.

On the other hand Barry Allen is getting worried about his grandsons(bart) roomate, as its very concerning the demeanor he is displaying. Barry intends to investigate the situation more to make sure this isn't a 'broken phone' type of misunderstanding. And if it isn't he is pulling a Bruce.

Meanwhile Danny's on his dormitory roof enjoying the stars, sure there's light pollution but his enhanced vision allows him to see them as if were a clear sky. Not knowing how his life is going to change in the coming weeks.

[insomniumstella]

baby, she's all yours

bucky x fem!reader

warnings: free use (consent to be "used" anytime & anywhere), explicit language, fingering, oral (m! and f! receiving), a sprinkle of degradation, a sprinkle of breeding kink, dom!bucky, public sex, light spanking, daddy kink (i should be stopped). this one is bad, so it goes without saying, but MDI

word count: 1,240

author's note: this is a lil' story in celebration of kinktober, which time won't permit me to participate in, but my thoughts always wanted to. ➼ sharp, but oh so gentle

James was hesitant to explore the concept you described as free use at first, and maybe a fraction scared. The two of you had been dating for close to three years, and though things were great, the idea of you introducing free use into the bedroom days after knife play troubled him. His heart has always been heavy with the notion of being too difficult to love and too bothersome to deal with, but you made him feel enough; more than. Special in public when you would proudly hold his hand, and special in the comfort of plush sheets when you would let him cherish you — use and mould you into a drooling mess, obeying every demand. Was proposing a fresh kink a silent plead to advise him you have gotten bored? 

As it turned out, it was. Kind of. The itch beneath your skin urging you to explore foreign waters wasn’t boredom but rather lust. Fiery hot and addicting type of lust that ignited every nerve ending in your body around him. Still does. Introducing Bucky to free use was the best—and the most deliciously infuriating—thing to soothe your constant yearning for his touch. 

It caught you off guard, the first time he complied with the request. Steve had recently purchased an apartment in Brooklyn and organised a small housewarming celebration. You slipped out of the living room and into the kitchen once your glass turned empty, oblivious to the very needy pair of eyes studying you. The music muffled your soft moans then, as James fingered you against the blonde’s new refrigerator, suffocating the whines his thick fingers caused with passionate kisses. 

The second time it happened, it was winter. Powdery layers of snow covered the entirety of New York City, and, as the sun laid to rest for the evening, the streets seemed magical. James and you were rushing to Natasha’s birthday dinner, stopping by Bergdorf Goodman for a last-minute gift. Time around holidays is always strenuous, but the missions almost doubled last year, rustles of a deadly biochemical weapon dampening the joy of Christmas and stealing your attention away from getting Natasha a gift early. Bucky tackled the three bottom floors whilst you handled the other three, scouring the variety of fine jewelry and designer clothing. As fate would have it, a gorgeous sequinned dress piqued your interest, the colour of it overly harsh for the redhead’s complexion but perfectly complimenting to yours. James practically pleaded for you to model it, assuring nobody would notice you being late a minute or two. Desire waltzed in his eyes when you agreed at last, twirling around to present the garment and flaunt how well it flattered your curves. He shoved the two of you into the private dressing room once the sales associate disappeared to bring out a pair of matching heels, closing the curtains and hiking the dress up to your waist. “Be good for me,” he spoke, undoing his zipper and slipping the tip of his cock into your dripping heat, “you wouldn’t want employees to hear us, would you, doll?” You couldn’t think of the gift you ended up buying Natasha, but you can still remember sobbing into Bucky’s hand as his hips feverishly snapped into yours.  

Sometimes, that particular memory makes you wonder if introducing James to free use was a mistake — you’d be lying if you said it was because the thrill of being played with at times you least expect is exhilarating. The agreement caused many risky scenarios, though. There was that instance of Bucky between your legs, lapping at your core during a video call with your sister. The wooden desk shielded him from view as he relished you, but the grimaces on your features were a smidge more difficult to camouflage. “You taste incredible, baby,” Bucky mumbled, flesh and metal hands gripping the softness of your exposed thighs, before eagerly licking your clit. “Couldn’t ever get enough of this pussy.” You inadvertently moaned thrice during the call, disguising the sinful sounds by feigning coughs and attributing your strange demeanour to a common cold. “Tell her the truth,” James teased then, slipping a metal digit inside your needy hole, and you sneakily slapped his shoulder. The unsuspecting woman on screen continued to babble about her upcoming visit as you hit the mute button on your computer because the man below you had zero intentions of easing up. “Can feel you squeezin’,” he groaned, slipping a couple more of his metal digits inside. “Please end the call, peach, so I could fuck you atop this desk already.” 

There was also the time he got annoyed on a road trip, freeing his cock and guiding your head downward to silence your complaints about his driving on unpaved roads. “Be a good girl and put that mouth to better use,” he grunted as you licked drops of pre-cum off his skin. “Na uh, doll,” with his left arm on the steering wheel, James forced the entirety of his length into your mouth, “we ain’t got time for any foreplay shit right now.” 

Furthermore, introducing him to free use is the reason for your current predicament — being bent over the sink at a local bar with Bucky balls deep inside you. 

“Takin’ me so well, sweetheart.” James praises, catching your gaze in the grimy mirror before spanking your velvety hips. “My girl’s such a slut for me, letting me play with her in a random pub’s bathroom.” It’s more of an observation than dirty talk, and you bite back a moan, nodding. “Bet you’re always thinking about daddy’s big cock, wishing you could be bursting full of me forever, aren’t you?” A harsh spank lands on your scorching skin when you don’t immediately answer. “I asked you a question, peach.”

“Yes,” you sob, digging your manicured nails into the base of your palm. “Love it—,” another wail slips past your swollen lips, “love it when you use me, daddy.” 

The pace of his hips slamming into yours remains brutal as he studies your expression in the mirror. “Look at you,” he clutches your chin, the slight pain of it forcing you to peel your eyes open, “my baby’s so fucked out, she’s having trouble speaking.” The steady pulse of your approaching orgasm heightens as Bucky admires the whimpering mess that is you, leaning lower until the slight stubble on his jaw tickles your ear. “Should I let you finish, or should I leave you all desperate and stuffed full of my cum until happy hour’s over?” 

“Please,” you plead, “I’m so close.” 

“That’s too—,” James chuckles through a groan as his own orgasm bursts in syrupy waves, “—bad.” The rhythm of his movements falters and then stops, and if tears weren’t streaming down your face already, you would’ve cried at the loss of contact, feeling terribly empty without Bucky to keep you warm. Though you don’t say a word to him, he can sense your frustration, the weight of your emotions lingering in the atmosphere around you. Slithering his metal hands between your legs, he pushes the cum that leaked out back inside you, thrusting a couple times to soothe your disappointment before withdrawing his touch and shoving your discarded panties into the pocket of his jacket. “Don’t let it drip out if you want a reward when we get home.” A lazy grin stretches across his features. “I promise to make it worth your while.” 

[calumfmu]

Bad Decision, Right?

You were new in town, guarded from the wandering eyes of everyone in Hawkins High. You had one rule, don't overshare, even if it was at the hands of Steve Harrington, certified asshole and heartthrob of the school.

8.7k+, 18+, mdni (!!!), steve harrington x fem!reader

cw: smut, angst, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral, fingering, swearing, you know the whole deal

You were new in town, the conversation of the hour at Hawkins High. It had barely been one week since you stepped into the school, and everyone knew your name—or lack thereof, you should say. “New girl, new girl” was all that you heard whenever you passed down the halls. You could barely keep your eyes from rolling into the back of your head whenever you heard the whispers around you.

You should be used to it, you suppose. It was your third time moving in six months. Your dad could barely keep a job at this point, and your mom hid her pain in the bottom of her wine glasses. Being at school was supposed to be your only escape from your home life, but with this small town, it only made it worse.

Being new and not getting close to people was your routine. Keep your head down, don’t speak to anyone, don’t even think of making friends. There was no point.

And that’s exactly what you told yourself when a teenage girl with a sandy brown bob was smiling at you as she leaned into the locker next to yours. She was wiggling her eyebrows at you, smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth. You ignored her, shoving books into the top shelf of your locker.

“Can I help you?” There was no venom behind your words, no snark, just boredom.

“You’re new here, right?” She smiled even wider, arms crossed over her chest as she took a look at you. You could feel her eyes trail up and down your body, as if she was trying to ‘figure you out’.

“No way! How’d you figure it out?” You pressed your lips in a faux smile as you glanced in her direction. You weren’t trying to be rude, but just like the other friends in the last few towns, there was no point in being nice either.

You focused heavily on the books in your locker, searching for the biochem book. There’s no way you had lost it already. It was only your 6th day of school.

“Mmm, I think I'm in like with you already,” the girl muttered, shaking her head seemingly in adoration at your dryness. You spared another glance at her, wondering why this girl wouldn’t let up. “I’m Robin.”

A hand shot in front of you, interrupting you in your search for that god forsaken text book. She—Robin—was waiting for you to shake it, eyebrows raised as you both sat in silence. Staring down at it, you contemplated your options. you could: 1) take it, make friends and forget about the constant cycle of losing them or 2) ignore it, just like you had with everyone else.

“Well, I'm not going to bite you,” Robin continued, forcing her own hand into your grasp to shake. Your hand was limp, and a small glimmer of something sat in your chest. She stood up straight, swinging her bag over her shoulder as she looked for something. Before you knew it, her own copy of that exact textbook you were searching for appeared in her hands as she held it in your direction.

You opted for silence, staring confused as she urged you to take it.

“We’re in the same class,” she said as you reluctantly grabbed the book from her hands. You stared down at the copy, chewing at your bottom lip as she swung her bag around her shoulders once again. You don’t do hand outs. “We don’t really use it that often, even if the teacher scared you into thinking we do. But i promise you’ll open it up maybe once.”

“Uhm, thanks.” Your voice was small as you ran your hands over the cover, finally glancing up at her. There you noticed her features, freckles gracing her face, black eyeliner on her bottom water line, smudged out. Wispy bangs hanging over her forehead, and that sweet smile on her face.

“Come on, you could sit next to me!” She closed your locker for you as she grabbed onto your arm, leading you the rest of the way to the classroom. Thoughts were racing your mind as the two of you made your way through the crowded halls of the school. You didn’t do this normally, you liked to keep your distance. It was the way things should be.

Just as the bell rang, you made your way into the classroom, following Robin as she found her stake at your normal double desk. It was in the corner of the room, normally just you sat at it with an empty chair next to you, highlighting the loneliness that echoed in your life.

You sat next to her, still eyeing her as she made herself comfortable. Her things—a single notebook and random pen with bite marks at the end—carelessly thrown in front of her. The teacher, whose name you couldn’t remember for the life of you began the lesson, a topic you had become extremely familiar with over the past few schools.

“So…” Robin whispered, leaning over to you. “Where are you from?”

“Uhh… around?” You didn’t know where to call home.

She quirked an eyebrow at you, tapping the pen on the desk. “Mysterious, I like it.”

You nodded in response, leaning forward on the desk as you tried to regain your focus on the teacher’s lesson. The conversation didn’t end there.

“How the fuck did you end up here? In Hawkins, of all places?!” She whisper-shouted the last of it, looking down when the teacher sent her a warning look. She mouthed ‘sorry’ and gave a half shrug as he side eyed her. She turned her gaze back on you once he had turned around. “Seriously, spill.”

Clearing your throat, you shrugged, “Your guess would be as good as mine at this point.”

She sighed, leaning in closer as it wasn’t a sufficient answer. “No, seriously, wha-“

“Miss Buckley, please.” The teacher’s voice boomed through the room, all eyes turning on the pair of you. You closed your eyes in embarrassment, hearing Robin mutter another apology, this time to the room.

The rest of the class was spent in silence between the two of you, you nor Robin saying anything to each other as the lesson continued. You were antsy, anxious to run right out of the room and escape the overly talkative girl you had just met. The end of the day was right there, your favorite time of the day where you could just hide from everyone and ignore the stares of others.

Right as the school bell rang, you grabbed your bag off the floor and began heading your way towards the door, ignoring Robin’s calls of your name and “wait!”.

You made your way through the halls, trying to find the comfort in the thought of your own home. It was hard to even do that. Robin suddenly cut in front of you, smile wide as ever as you were stopped in your tracks. Oh my god, you thought to yourself. I'm in a horror movie.

“yn!” She exclaimed, placing both of her hands on your shoulders. “Come with me! I have some people I’d think you’d like.”

“You know, really,” you attempted to make your way around her, smiling sheepishly as you thought of excuses. “I have somewhere to be, people, you know— waiting for me!”

A dead pan look crossed her face. “You and I both know you have no friends.”

ouch.

“So good thing you can meet mine!” That happy-go-lucky attitude returned once more as she grabbed your hand, leading you towards the Hawkins exit. You looked at the sky, begging something, anything to strike you down in that moment.

The two of you stopped at a maroon colored BMW, a group of teenagers gathered around. They were laughing, joking around at each other as one of them sat on the hood of the vehicle. He had long hair, styled in a similar fashion you would see on the cover of a magazine, and a dusty blue colored jacket, fitted with pockets and zippers over the front. He immediately caught your attention, his wide mouth stretched in a smile as he laughed at a brunette girl, throwing a piece of candy at him.

“Hey losers!” Robin shouted, bringing everyone’s attention to you two. The group's conversation halted, curious as they looked at you standing behind Robin, arms crossed over your chest. “I brought new bait!”

That same small brunette girl groaned, shaking her head. “Robin, I thought we talked about calling people that.”

Robin laughed, placing her hand on your shoulder as she brought you to the forefront. Anxiety crossed you as you could feel everyone’s eyes on you. You briefly closed your eyes again, sighing as she began introductions.

“yn, this is the gang, gang, this is-“

“We’re really not that either.”

“Shut it, Steve. You guys, this is yn,” Robin said, arm wrapped around your shoulder now. “that’s Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, and Eddie.”

They all gave waves and greetings in your direction, earning a small wave back.

“It’s lovely to meet you, yn,” Nancy smiled warmly, walking up to you so she could shake your hand. You took it, giving a small smile back. It was the most genuine one you had given in a while.

“Nice to meet you too, Nancy.”

They began to bring you into the conversation, asking questions of where you’re from and what brought you into town. You avoided all of them, answering in vague, short answers as you wished to stay anonymous. There was nothing really to tell them. What are you supposed to say? Oh, my dad’s gambler, moms an alcoholic, we move every few weeks because they think a new city is going to solve all their problems.

They seemed to catch on—well, Nancy did at least. You could see the silent nod of disapproval she gave to Robin and Eddie as they pressed you. They changed the subject once they picked up on it, choosing to ask you more impersonal questions. You liked her, you figured. She seemed genuine and sweet, someone who could truly read the room.

Robin was sweet too, but she was a little too much upon first impressions. She did seem like she cared about you, but in more of trying to be your best friend upon first meeting type of way.

The boy on the hood of the car—Steve— was more quiet. You kept glancing in his direction, eyes drawn to him as he included himself in the conversation. He quipped jokes back and forth with Eddie, shoving his shoulder when he made a joke that was “too far man!” or made an obscure reference to some random video game.

“So are you in, yn?” Robin's voice broke you from your thoughts.

“I'm sorry, what?”

You blinked in confusion, finding all pairs of eyes on you once again. You had zoned out, staring at Steve, not failing to notice the small smirk on his face. The sunglasses on his face hid his eyes, but you could only imagine the glint behind them as he realized what you were thinking. He raised an eyebrow at you, awaiting your answer like the rest of everyone else.

“Party tonight at Steve’s?” Robin answered, as you turned your attention towards her once again. You spared a glance at the boy, seeing as his attention was back to Eddie, a small conversation happening between them two.

“Oh- uhm, I really don’t do that.” A blush crossed your face.

“C’monnn, yn!” This time it was Eddie, elbow leaning against the beemer.

“No, I’m sorry, you guys.” You vehemently shook your head, taking a step backwards as if you were uninviting yourself.

"yn, yn, yn!" Eddie began a small chant, Robin following as she clapped her hands along to it. It was all too embarrassing for you, your face flooding with color as you weren't used to that type of attention.

"Okay, okay! Fine!"

You caved, raising a hand to stop their chant. Everyone cheered, clapping at your words. Robin was beaming at this point, wrapping her arms around your shoulders as she swayed back and forth. A small giggle escaped your lips, rolling your eyes at how excited this group of strangers were for you.

Everyone went into motion—Steve hopping off the car, Eddie waving goodbye to group, Nancy and Jonathan heading in the same direction of the parking lot. Robin turned towards you, smile ever present on her features.

"We could get ready together, yeah?" She asked, throwing her bag in the backseat of Steve's car. He slid into the driver's seat, starting the engine as Robin opened the passenger door. "Come on, get in. You can get ready at my house."

You stared at her holding the door open, thinking of the mistake you had already made even speaking to the weird group of friends. It wasn't too late to turn around, you could go your separate ways and not turn back.

Steve honked the horn, pulling you out of your thoughts. You saw him looking at you through the glass, sunglasses perched on the top of his head. His brown eyes met yours, and immediately, your heart sank. Bad decision #2.

You made your way to the back passenger door, sliding in as Robin held a smug look on her face.

"Good decision, rookie," she laughed, closing the door behind her as she settled into the seat.

As Steve pulled out of the high school parking lot, you couldn't help but think this is a feeling you could get used to. You shouldn't, but it was in the back of your mind. It was only going to last a few weeks if that, but you could, in theory, have fun while it lasted.

Robin's house was empty and quiet. Her room tucked in the back corner of the hall, a giant 'Keep Out' sign adorning the door. Covered in posters of movies you hadn't gotten a chance to see, her walls were a faint blue, barely being able to be shown as memorabilia covered the walls. There were framed pictures of her looking miserable in a band uniform, movie tickets thumb tacked to the walls, and polaroids of her and Steve throughout the room.

It had been a few hours since school had ended, the sun setting in the distance as time ticked closer towards the start of the party. Steve had dropped off the two of you, muttering a goodbye in your direction and a full farewell in Robin's. Something you were used to. They were a cute couple, you thought to yourself.

You examined them, walking slowly as the details of everything stood out to you. She was a little nerdy, but vibrant, her entire life spread out right in front of you.

"Do you want to borrow something?" She asked, ruffling her hair into place as she stared at you through the reflection of the mirror. You jumped, startled at she brought you out of your focus.

“Oh.” You looked down at your outfit, smoothing out the wrinkles in your denim jeans. “If that’s alright?”

“Yeah, of course, dummy,” she went over to her closet, throwing a few pairs of clothes on her bed for you to examine. You made your way over to them, fingers dancing over the fabrics.

It had been a while since you got anything new, you didn’t even know if the two of you were the same size. Your fingers stopped at a pink shirt, liking the satin feel against your skin.

“I like that one,” she whispered, closer to you than you had thought. You turned around, making eye contact with her. “I don’t really wear it often, you could have it if you want?”

“Oh, no! I-I couldn’t do that-”

She rolled her eyes, fake frustration showing through. “How many times are you going to keep saying no to everything?”

She grabbed the shirt and a random skirt lying next to it, shoving them in your hands as she began to push you in the direction of the bathroom.

“Go! Change! Wear it, it’s yours!”

Reluctantly, you complied, taking a step towards the bathroom across the hall. You closed the door behind you, taking off your shirt as you examined yourself in the mirror. You could roll your eyes at yourself, not recognizing the person in front of you as you slipped the clothes over you. They were nice against your skin, flattering your complexion as the fabric hung around your frame.

You exited the room, surprised at Robin standing right outside the door. She smiled at you, taking in the look of you in her clothes—well, yours now, technically.

"Stunning." She looked at you in appreciation as you fought back a smile, teeth digging into your bottom lip. "Now, c'mon, we're going to be late."

There were already crowds of people at the Harrington house, cars parked in the driveway and up the street, small groups of people walking up the walkway into the house. Music sounded out from the open front door as teenagers made their way in and out.

This wasn't your scene, you could already tell. It was going to be like a circus, seeing as everyone at school had already created a narrative about you. You could only imagine what they were going to say now.

You turned your head towards Robin, her hand at your wrist, pulling you in the direction of the front door.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea," you began, shaking your head as all the nerves you previously had filled your senses again.

"Nonsense, you loved my friends," she replied, continuing her way to the open door. Your feet felt heavy, dragging as the music became louder with every step.

"Robin—no, I'm serious."

A queasiness took over you, turning at your stomach as heads began to already turn your way. The two of you made your way through the front door, music and the sound of people overcoming you. You had heart palpitations, your chest pounding with every inch you took further into the house.

Her grip at your wrist felt like a vice, your thoughts suddenly thinking of how you should be home. Your mother would be worried sick at this point, who else would be there to check if this was the night that she drank too much?

"Eddie!" Robin suddenly exclaimed, letting go of your wrist as she ran towards the center of the room. You watched as she met up with the long haired man, throwing her arms around him as if she hadn't seen him hours prior.

In this moment, you made a dash for it. You tried to make it towards the front door, but a crowd of people entered just as that thought crossed your mind. They were cheering over something, loud voices scaring you away from that general vicinity. Every direction you looked, there were people.

Unfamiliar faces staring at you, making you feel like even more of a circus act than you were before. Begrudgingly, you made your way towards the staircase in the corner of the room, pushing through the throngs of people crowding the bottom of the stairs.

You had to push a few people off of you, their drunk advances calling after you, "Hey, it's the new girl!"

Every door you tried was locked or had a line of people behind it, freedom escaping you as you searched. White double doors at the end of the hall caught your attention as you walked up to them, trying the doorknob. You sighed in relief as they pushed open, solitude finding you once again.

You closed the door behind you, head leaning against the solid wood as you caught your breath.

"Fuck!" You yelled, kicking the frame before you turned to look around.

A giant king bed was in the center, pillars extending at every corner. Framed photos hung on the walls, Steve's face at the center with other members of his family in the photos. His parents' room, you figured. The only safe space away from the crowds of people.

You sat on the bed, kicking off your Mary Jane's as you leaned back to stare at the ceiling. Your heart was calming down at this point, no longer feeling the beat of it throughout your entire body.

I just have to wait it out. Robin will find me eventually, you thought to yourself.

As you lay in the giant bed, arms crossed over your chest, you began to doze off. The dull thud of the music was like a lullaby, loud, but more comforting than falling asleep to the sound of your parents arguing. As sleep overcame you, you could barely hear the steps leading up to the door or the sound of the door swinging open.

"What did I tell you guys about coming up he—oh, yn," Steve's voice sounded through the room, interrupting your slumber. You sat up on your elbows suddenly to look at him. "What're you doing here?"

You flushed in your face, sliding out of the bed to grab your shoes. You moved to walk past him, set on ignoring his questions. He blocked the door. Asshole.

"You literally invited me," you deadpanned, stepping to the side to go around him. He matched your step, a small smile crossing his face as he blocked you from leaving. Glaring up at him, you huffed.

"Obviously," he smirked, hand on his hip as he stared down at you. You broke eye contact with him, looking to your right as you debated how far of a jump the window would be to the ground level. Second stories can't be that high, right?

"I don't want to be here anymore," you sighed, glancing in his direction as he continued to stare down at you. You didn't notice the way his smile faltered. "The people are just—I can't deal with it."

"Why? Has anyone said anything to you?" He questioned, voice with a slight urgency behind it. You started up at him, confused at the tone behind his words.

"And why do you care?"

You were snappy, irritation showing through as you became defensive. His hands shot up, surrendering to your words.

"Hey, now, I'm just wondering," he answered, taking a step into the room. He still blocked your exit, noticing the way that you still eyed it like a cornered animal. "Any friend of Robins is a friend of mine."

Rolling your eyes, you maintained eye contact with him, butterflies inching into the depths of your abdomen. The nervousness was growing with every second his eyes stayed on yours.

"What do you want Steve?" There was something about his energy, the way he was studying you with his head cocked to the side, hands on his hips. You felt vulnerable in that moment, wanting to run and hide and cover your body. It was somehow worse than the hundreds of people in school staring at you.

"I don't like my parents too much either," he blurted out, catching you off guard. You furrowed your brow, shaking your head at him.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

You looked down at your sock clad feet, shoes still dangling between your fingers by the straps.

"I do," he answered, taking a step towards you. You instinctively took a step back, defenses prickling at the back of your neck.

"You don't know anything about me," you were whispering at this point, losing the words to say as he stepped out of the path of the door. There it was your exit plan, but you couldn't move.

"I do," he repeated, holding a hand out as if he were ushering you in that direction. "You have this look to you. I used to have it, too. I just got better at hiding it."

You were numb, eyes glancing between the door and him. His eyes were captivating, drawing attention even when it was unwarranted. His perfectly styled hair fell around his face, a single strand curled at his forehead. As his gaze continued to bore into you, the look on his face was serious, yet made the nervousness fade slightly with every continual look.

"The way you're always so quiet, just waiting for someone else to fill the silence, not bothering to give any information about yourself," he continued, breaking eye contact for the first time. You followed his gaze, noticing he was focusing on one of the family photos on the walls. "I had that same thing, look, feeling, whatever you want to call it. It never does get easier, but... you just have to pretend. Until it kinda works?"

As his speech continued, you toyed at the shoe straps in your hands. His words somehow comforted you, even if you did truly feel that he didn't know what he was talking about. His situation couldn't be similar to your own, so it was a lost cause for him to try and guess what was going on.

"You can go," he muttered, shaking his head as he looked away from the photograph. Steve ran a hand through his hair, looking at the open door behind him. "I just thought—maybe, a similar experience would help you."

You stared at the entry way, all efforts to run leaving through the door without you. Your feet made no effort to move, heartbeat a dull thud in your chest.

Steve sighed, turning around to leave himself once he saw that you were making no effort to leave.

"W-wait," you said, stopping him in his tracks. His hand was on the door frame, one foot out as his head turned to look at you. Curiosity crossed his features. "How do you pretend?"

He smiled, closing the door as he stepped back into the room. That should've scared you, but you couldn't be bothered. Steve was different from what you initially thought he was. Wasn't some asshole boyfriend of the girl you had just met. He did seem like he had a heart, so it made sense why him and Robin were close.

He ushered you to sit back on the bed, sitting across from you, knees barely brushing your own.

"You just do." His fingers pulled at the duvet cover, eyes glancing up at you through long lashes. "You try not to think about what you're going through too much. Distract yourself with people, even if the connections aren't genuine. That way you'll find people who actually do care. It's few and far between, but they are there."

Your voice faltered, "My connections never are genuine, always being the new girl. It sucks."

Steve laughed, nodding in agreement with your words.

"I'm sure it doesn't help, but you just have to try," he leaned on one elbow, body stretched out as his legs hung off the side of the bed. You averted your gaze from him, deciding that it was too much to stare at him in that position.

"When I met Robin, we were so different. She was this sarcastic, kind of mean person who laughed at my failures. Made me feel stupid for trying too hard," he laughed in between his words, shaking his head at the memory. "She made me realize that I didn't have to be a caricature of myself to fit in, I could be friends with who I want, and I shouldn't have to worry about what people think of me, especially my parents."

You nodded, smoothing out your skirt.

"She made me open up in ways that I hadn't before, leading me to make real friends who didn't care about who Steve Harrington was. They didn't care about my name, the popularity, any of that."

You examined him, noticing his dark blue shirt hugged his frame. Your eyes trailed over the shape of his chest, the way the shirt was stretched over his biceps. You shouldn't be looking at him in this way.

"She's lucky, you know," you said, folding your hands over your lap. Your arms were tight at your side, not moving in favor of thinking it would help you shrink in front of him. Steve quirked an eyebrow, questioning your words. "Robin, to have you as a boyfriend."

Steve laughed out loud at your words, shaking his head as his hand waved in the air.

"No, noooo," he laughed, hand running over his face. "She's not—no, I'm not really her type."

You were confused, words at a loss.

"We're just good friends, you could say," he chuckled low in his throat, blinking rapidly as he looked off into the distance behind you.

"Oh, I'm sorry," red crept over your features, blushing at the embarrassment of getting things so wrong. "So you're with Nancy, then?"

He laughed again, shaking his head even more rapidly than he did before.

"Yeah, that one didn't really work out," he grimaced, hand running over his left eyebrow. He winced as he seemed to think of a distant memory, fingers dancing over the bone there.

You nodded, curious about his gesture.

"S'just me," he shrugged, smiling up at you as you stared back down at him. "So, what is it about the mysterious yn that everyone wants apart of?"

You began to answer him, supplying details of the last few years of your life. It was the most comfortable you had been with a person, giving details that you swore you'd never give to another person. You mentioned your dad, his gambling addiction becoming worse and worse over the past year. Your mom finding her solutions in a liquor cabinet. How your problems were never enough for them since it wasn't an 'adult matter'. You didn't speak on it all, but with the details you provided, it was enough to give him an idea of you.

The conversation flowed well between the two of you, Steve providing his own details of his relationship with his dad. He had to live up to the Harrington name, even if he felt like he would never truly be able to do that. You found yourself laughing at his stories, even if there was sadness deep within it. He hid his pain with humor and a slight hint of flirting, if you could call it that.

"Hey, look, I think I have to go back downstairs," Steve said, sitting up from where he was lying on the bed. "Make sure everyone hasn't burned the place down."

You nodded, disappointment filling your chest as you realized this night was over.

"Yeah, I think I better head home myself," you reached down to grab your shoes, lay abandon on the floor besides the bed. You stopped in your tracks, Steve's hand coming to lay on your thigh. Glancing up at him, you found him inches away from your face.

His gaze fluttered down to your lips before looking quickly back to your eyes. Your breath hitched in your throat, all words just scrambled English in your mind.

As he leans into you, his lips brushed against yours, the taste of mint chapstick flooding your senses. The kiss was chaste, a quick brush of skin on skin that made your heart beat in your chest.

Your eyes were closed, briefly feeling the absence of his lips on yours before they crashed into you again. His mouth moved against yours, hand coming to rest against your cheek.

You let out a breathy sigh as the two of you moved in sync, feeling weightless in his grasp. He nibbled at your lip, other hand coming up to grab at your waist, pulling you closer to him.

Your fingers pull at his hair, breathless against his lips before he pulls away, placing one more quick peck at you. You felt numb, but this time, in a way that made you want to never leave his side. Your eyes fluttered open, fingers still tangled in his hair as he looked down at you.

"Don't be a stranger, yn," he whispered, placing one last peck on your lips before removing himself from you. He made his way to the door, glancing at you once last time with a smile on his face before he exited, closing it behind him.

You groaned, shoving your face into the duvet cover as you realized what had happened. Bad decision #3.

The next few weeks of classes went surprisingly well, and you found yourself listening to Steve's words in every interaction you dealt with. Of course, you were still the 'new girl' to most people, but you dealt with it in grace. You ignored strangers' advances into the details of your life, just telling them information about the last town you were in compared to Indiana.

Your friendship with the group became closer, Robin becoming your right hand in every interaction. She became less invasive in your information, but protective of you nonetheless. It was a bond like nothing you had experienced in the last few years, a feeling of a home you had never had settling over you.

Your relationship with Steve had blossomed into something you weren't quite sure what to call it. In front of the group, it was platonic, stealing glances at each other when you were sure no one was looking. His hand always seemed to graze over yours during the 'right' moments, catching your breath in your throat as you stumbled through the sentences you were saying to your new found friends.

In private, it was something else. Steve pushing you against a wall, pulling you into the nearest closet, cornering you in the bathroom at Nancy's place, any place to leave you breathless as his lips found yours in a fever never seen before. His fingers roaming your body as wet, hot kisses were placed wherever he could find stake. You found yourself day dreaming of those moments, mind fleeting the conversation at hand amongst others.

And that's where you found yourself now, pressed in the backseat of Steve's BMW, shirt half unbuttoned as his hand grasped at your breast, mouth pressed into your jawline. He lay between your open legs, rutting against you as you moaned breathlessly.

"F-fuck Steve," you arched into him, hand pulling at his clothes, urging him to come closer.

You two were supposed to be in 3rd period by now, sneaking off as you couldn't keep your hands off of each other. It was barely 9 am, but whenever you could find the time, the two of you snuck off, hoping to go unnoticed.

Your skirt was hiked up to your waist, exposing your red panties. His tight-in-the-front jeans pressed against you, all in the right and wrong places. Your hands roamed under his shirt, feeling his heat underneath your palms.

"Yeah, baby?" He moaned against your skin, hand coming up to lace through your hair. He pulled tight, guiding your mouth to his once again. He groaned against your mouth, hips grinding against yours.

You mewled in response, fingers pulling at his waistband as you urged him to take them off. The two of you hadn't gotten that far yet, but you were becoming more ready with every interaction the two of you had.

"Steve, fuck, m-more."

Your fingers found the button of his jeans, trying to undo it blindly as you moaned against his mouth. You felt him smirk against your lips, nibbling at the skin.

"Look at you, princess," he muttered, pulling away to see you in a breathless state. Your hair was a mess, fanned out behind you as you were pressed into the leather of his seats. "Such a mess for me."

Your fingers continued working at the button, finally freeing it as you were able to slip your hand down the front of his pants. Just as you grazed the bulge behind his boxers, the two of you heard the bell ring, signalling the end of the class period.

"Fuck!" You closed your eyes, fingers stopping in their tracks. Steve pulled off of you, leaning in the opposite direction as he moved to adjust himself in his pants.

You watched as he rebuttoned his jeans, fixing his shirt and the rumple in his clothes. He watched you while doing so, smile playing at his lips.

He leaned down briefly, pecking your lips once more before pulling away. You sat up, trying to chase his lips as he settled down. Placing a hand on your inner thigh, his eyes raked over your figure, lingering on the exposure of your panties in view.

"Gotta save it for later, babe," he whispered to you, thumb reaching out to pull at the band of your underwear.

Huffing in annoyance, you sat up to fix yourself, adjusting your clothes as you realized the moment was over. "When later?"

Steve was smiling, pulling his black jacket over his polo. He winked at you, dazed look on his face.

"We're just going to have to find out, babe."

"What the fuck happened to you?" Robin exclaimed, hand coming up to touch your neck before you smacked your hand away. You covered your neck with your hand, heat flooding your cheeks as a blush creeped in. "You looked like you've been mauled."

"I-I think I burned myself this morning. You know, straightening my hair," you muttered, pulling your hair over your shoulder as you covered it. Robin's eyes tightening, squinting at you as you avoided her eyeline.

"You don't straighten your hair," she deadpanned, arms coming to cross her chest.

"Oh my God, did I not tell you? I just learned how to. This morning, actually," you smiled at her, fawning innocence.

Her eyes were small as she stared at you, making you feel smaller and smaller under her inspection.

"Yn."

"Robin."

The two of you started at each other, you with a fake smile covering up your lies and her with a serious expression, making you crumble.

Steve suddenly appeared between the two of you, arms coming up to rest at each other's shoulders as he pulled the two of you into his sides.

"And what are my two favorite ladies up to?" His smile was big, still moving off of the confidence he had earlier in the backseat of his car. Robin rolled her eyes, gaze glancing at you as the three of you made your way to his car. It was the end of the day, students fleeting the school as the hallways became more and more empty.

"Yn, here... she was attacked by a wild animal, the teenage boy kind, and won't tell me what happened," she answered, annoyance clear in her words.

"Robin!" Your eyes were wide, hand coming up to grab at your neck once more.

You felt Steve look down at you as his arms left your shoulders. He had a slight smirk, glancing down at the assault on your neck before settling on your eyes.

"Oh?" He was terrible at pretending.

"Yes! Steve, can you believe that?" Robin muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. "She's keeping secrets again."

You rolled your eyes, huffing as Robin wouldn't let it go. The three of you found your way into the parking lot, making your way towards the vehicle you had become quite acquainted with during the last few weeks. You blushed looking at it, knowing what had occurred earlier.

"Secrets, huh?" Steve answered, unlocking the doors as you all made your way into it. You sat in the backseat, back thrown to your side as the memories of earlier began to cross your mind. He looked at you through the rear view mirror, noticing the way you squeezed your legs together. "I do love a good secret myself, don't you, Robin."

"Uh huh."

"Steve!"

He chuckled, starting the engine as you turned to look out the window. You watched as the school became smaller in the background, the streets of Hawkins passing by faster and faster.

"I'm just saying yn, I would tell you," Robin said, throwing her feet on the dash. Steve complained, hitting her ankle with a free hand, only to be ignored by the brunette. "Whoever it is, I just hope he's serious about you. I don't want you to get hurt."

You were quiet, eyes focused on the passing buildings. You didn't know what to say, not wanting to speak for Steve.

"I have a feeling he is," Steve supplied, meeting your look in the rear view mirror as you suddenly turned. Your heart was fast in your chest. "You're beautiful, yn. Any guy would be stupid to not be serious about you."

"Thank you Steve!" Robin sighed, throwing her hands in the air as the car pulled in the front of her house. She turned towards you, reaching out to place a hand on your knee. "Seriously, yn. I just want you to be safe."

She grabbed her bag by her feet, placing it in her lap as she reached for the door hand.

"Now, c'mon... I have so much to tell you about today."

You reached for your own bag, only to be interrupted by Steve's voice.

"Oh, yn, you wanted me to drop you off at yours, right?" He questioned, glancing back at you as confusion crossed your features.

"Uhh... n-"

"I swore you told me that earlier this morning," his eyebrows raised, tapping his fingers against the wheel. Confusion settled into your face as you didn't know what he was talking about. "You had something you needed to do at home. Finish what you started, I think you said."

Oh.

Robin stood outside the door, it ajar as she looked between you guys. She was confused, sighing as she swung her bag over her shoulders.

"Whatever, losers," she left the door open, watching as you made your way to the front seat, core tightening as you thought of what was to come. "You owe me, yn. I need details immediately on whoever did that to you."

You nodded, tucking in your legs as she made her way to the front door, closing it behind her. You sat in silence for a bit, smile on your face as you watched Steve start the car on the trek to his place.

"Finish what I started, yeah?" You smiled at the man in front of you, him turning his head as he continued the drive. He didn't answer you, instead moving his hand to rest on your knee.

As the drive continued, you couldn't help, but find happiness in the place you sat. It was the most content you had been in years, finding comfort in the once stranger you sat with. This boy had caught you by surprise, tugging at your heartstrings in a way you didn't realize possible.

"Coming, yn?" He asked as you hadn't realized he was stopped at his place. Your stomach dropped, staring at the house in front of you. He was the only car in the drive way, a normal thing he had mentioned to you countless times.

"Hey," he whispered, leaning over to you as he placed a small kiss on your lips. His large hands were placed on both of your cheeks, thumbs rubbing circles against the skin. "We don't have to do anything you don't want, okay?"

You nodded, your own hands reaching up to be placed on top of his. You began to follow him inside, your first time being at his place since the party a few weeks back.

His room was big, smaller than his parents, but a picture of exactly what you thought it was going to be. He threw himself on the bed, leaning up on his elbows as you stood there at the foot of it.

"Come 'ere," he held out a hand, urging you closer to him. You complied, placing your hands and knees onto the bed as you crawled up to him. He guided you between his open legs, your stomach pressed against his as his lips found yours.

"Just stop me whenever, okay?" His eyes searched yours, looking for any hint of doubt between them. Finding only reassurance, he placed his lips on yours, leaning back into the bed as you settled into him.

His mouth moved slow, hands moving down to rest where your thighs met the curve of your butt. You moaned into his mouth, feeling the way your skirt was pushed up.

"'S that okay?" he muttered, licking into your mouth between his words.

You nodded, moving so you straddled him. His gaze darkened, fingers finding the hem of your blouse as he pulled it off of you. The cold air of the room hit your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

His hands moved to cup at your breasts, slipping underneath the fabric of your bra.

"You're beautiful, you know that, babe?" He whispered into the air, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. You were exposed now, feeling so vulnerable under his gaze as his eyes undressed you further.

Reaching down, you pulled at his own shirt, feeling the muscles of his body tense as he leaned up to take it off. You leaned down, pressing your mouth to his once more. His tongue found its way into your mouth, sliding into yours with a sharp groan.

Your hips rutted against each other, your skirt hiked up to your hips for the second time today. A wet patch grew in the front of your panties, the red material becoming sticky with desperation.

He separated himself from you, flipping so you lay down on the bed. His fingers worked on his jeans, unbuttoning them before sliding them down his thighs. Throwing them across the room, he returned his body to yours, kissing down your jawline.

Your hips had a mind of their own, rutting into him with feverishly. You gasped at his kiss down your neck to your chest, mouth encompassing your hard nipple.

He moaned as his tongue worked the nerves there, eyes glancing up to your face to gauge a reaction. You were a mess, throwing your head back into the pillows as his tongue moved along your skin.

"F-fuck, Steve, need you." Incoherent phrases left your lips, mouth babbling with every move he made.

He giggled, tongue leaving your nipple as he kissed your stomach. Your skirt was pushed to your belly button at this point, his fingers pulling at the band of your panties as he made his way towards your core.

Placing a kiss over your clothed clit, he glanced once more up to you, "'M gonna make you feel so good, princess."

You moaned as he pulled your underwear off, legs widening as his tongue worked over your folds, darting out as it grazed over your fluttering hole. Your hips bucked into his face, his hand reaching out to press your hips into the bed.

Arching your back, you mewled as he sucked at your clit, free hand coming up to press a digit to your entrance.

"Need you inside," you muttered, reaching down to grab at his hair as he continued to lick at you. Two of his fingers pushed inside, your slick easing the way.

As he curled them inside you, tongue relentlessly hitting the sensitive bundle of nerves at the top, you moaned louder and louder. That explosive orgasm was approaching you fast, tightening your core as he fingered you senselessly.

He moaned against you, feeling the way you released more slick against his fingers deep inside you.

"So wet, princess," he muttered against you, eyes gazing at you through his assault at your clit. You moaned, arching your back as he continued to tongue fuck you.

"'M close, Steve," you groaned, guiding his face further into you. He moaned in agreement, covering your nub with his mouth as he sucked hard and fast.

It started at your spine, the orgasm taking over your senses as you arched into him. His fingers didn't slow down, fucking you through it as its intensity grew. Pleasure rippled through your body, your breath coming in fast pants as you lost all words to say.

As your high came to an end, he left your heat, leaning up to kiss you. You tasted yourself on his lips, moaning at the wetness on his chin.

"Taste so good, baby," Steve whispered, reaching down to take off his own boxers. You looked down, seeing the weight of it pressed into your stomach. Fuck, he was big. "Just had to share."

His words immediately sent a wave of heat to your abdomen, pussy dripping with need as your orgasm wasn't enough. You needed this man.

You widened your legs, breathless as he hooked your ankle over his hips. His cock nudged at your entrance, pressing against the tight hole as you started into his eyes.

"Okay baby?" He asked, leaning on his elbow as that same hand brushed hair out of your face.

"Need you, Stevie."

He groaned at your words, pushing in slowly as you both moaned at the intrusion. There was a burn, the stretch slow but enough as you pulsed around his cock.

Stopping at the hilt, his hips were flush against yours. He leaned down to breath out into your hairline, hips slightly stuttering as he fought the urge to fuck into you.

"Feel so good, baby, fuck," he was breathless, words sounding caught in his throat. "So fucking tight, baby."

Your nails clawed at his back, face pressed into the hair at his chest as he breathed heavily.

"'M gonna move, okay, baby?"

You nodded, digging crescent shaped marks into his skin as his hips reared back before pressing into you again. The head of his cock rubbed against a bundle of nerves deep within you, leaving the two of you breathing heavy, urging small uh uh uh's out of you.

He pressed small kisses into your hairline, hips rutting into yours over and over as you arched into him. You both were close, fighting the urge to cum instantaneously.

The movement of his hips became sloppy, the slapping of skin echoing through the room, drowned out by the animalistic noises leaving your mouth.

"Fuck, I'm so close, sweetheart," he moaned, pressing his lips into yours. Your noises were swallowed by him, another orgasm overtaking you as he fucked you through it.

You felt yourself throb around him, a low groan escaping his lips as he released deep inside you. His orgasm was loud, him moaning into your mouth as he teeth dug into your bottom lip. The pain of it only made you cry out more, your hands finding his hips as he rode it out.

He groaned one last time, hips stopping before he pulled out of you, the wet noise sounding loud in the room. You grimaced at his absence, leaning over so you could cuddle into his side.

Steve laughed, pressing a kiss to your temple as he wrapped his arms around you.

"I've got you, princess," he muttered, mouthing at you. You closed your eyes, ear pressed to his chest as you listened to the beat of his heart. Calmness took over you, a warm feeling settling into your core as you lay in his arms.

The bad decision you had once made in talking to him ended up being the best thing you could've done. The boy in your arms was everything and more you had wanted, you had needed in your life. Every mistake you had once thought you made was perfectly clear in this moment, leading you to the wonder that was Steve Harrington.

His breath sounded shallow, slow drags of air being taken as you settled into his arms. You thought of him asleep at this moment as you cuddled into him.

"I love you, Steve Harrington," you whispered into the quiet of the room. He made no move, his breath did not falter. You sighed, closing your eyes as you were set on sleep.

Moments passed, the sounds of the two of your breathing being the only thing you could hear for what seemed like ages.

"I love you too, yn."

Steve's whisper back, sent your heart racing again as you moved to look into his eyes. He was smiling at you through hooded eyes, blinking slowly. You pressed your lips to his before pulling away, staring into him once more.

I could enjoy this while it lasted, you thought to yourself. What's the harm in this?

[biteofcherry]

Viper's snare

naga!Lloyd Hansen x female reader

summary: You doubted any of the people visiting Scaretale did it because of their anxiety. There was therapeutic exposition and then there was this mad stupidity to serve yourself on a platter for brutal monsters to consume.

warnings: naga!Lloyd; dark!Lloyd; monsterfucking, but no bestiality; heavy dub-con; bondage (of snake tail sorts); constriction; snake venom causing paralysis; oral (f receiving); two cocks; double penetration; cockwarming; unprotected sex; smidge of degradation; praise; symptoms of anxiety;

word count: 4.3k

Author’s Note: I thought I wouldn't write anything more hot and monstrous than Ari or Steve in the Scaretale universe, but Lloyd took me by complete surprise 😳I was not prepared for him. And you are definitely not prepared for him, either. Rip all our holes.

You paused right on the steps of the Scaretale. Breathe in. One, two, three, four. Hold it. One, two, three, four. Breathe out. One, two, three, four. Hold it. One, two, three, four. 

Feeling a little bit anxious before entering a club full of various monsters was completely normal and understandable, you told yourself. You had no idea what exactly awaited, how many there would be, how big and scary. 

It was a success you made it this far without cowering and running back home. But you were determined. Scared, but determined. 

Or maybe you were just fed up with the constant disappointment and judgment you got from most human men. You didn’t want to generalize, your dad was good and understanding, but the guys you dated (so definitely your father didn’t count in that pool) let you down in that one, vulnerable aspect. 

You would maybe get it, if you had some hardcore kinks they were too scared to fulfill. That wasn’t the case, however.

Honestly, you were pretty boring and average in that department. You liked missionary. You liked cockwarming; oh, did that count as kink? You didn’t think so. Prone bone was great, too. 

Any position where the partner would crush you down. 

If it was limited only to sex, maybe your exes would roll with it and never withdraw. The thing was, that need stretched beyond only sexual encounters. 

Your therapist said that you had the mental brain part of anxiety reined in - you learned and used all the techniques, you bravely disconnected from using cognitive avoidance strategies, you understood your anxiety and even chilled out with the bitch. However, there was also the biochemical part of the brain responsible for that reaction. 

It was that messy chemistry in your brain, which sometimes made your body shake and feel too tense. Being tightly held was the instant relief. 

Which is why you loved your weighted blanket; why you slept wrapped in a duvet like a burrito; why you wanted your partners to hold you so tight they could suffocate you. That exact part appeared to be a burden worse to bear than if you asked them to slap you around. Because you didn’t just need a sweet cuddle. You wanted that hold to be really, really tight. 

Despair, or maybe it was logical thinking, led you to the Scaretale. If human men couldn’t provide you what you needed, maybe a huge, muscly monster would. With the size and mass of some of them, perhaps their regular hug was the vice you needed to feel. 

But it was still scary, entering the mysterious club. Would you find yourself disappointed, if only some gentle fae was interested in you? Then again, maybe they had better drugs, which would help instead of deadly cuddling. 

The composition of softest sounds that greeted you upon entering, was a surprise. A combination of very hushed tones, melodic tinkling of glasses, an echo of Pan’s flute hanging in the air. It reminded you of the ambient music you often listened to. 

The club was filled with dimmed, glowing light. Jewel tones on the walls, floor and ceiling felt like an expensive, cozy duvet. It would appear one of the most comforting of spaces, if not for the chill that crept beneath your skin. Usually you’d blame it on your anxiety, but there was something more to the sensation now. As if your instincts weren’t just exaggerating, instead awakening a very primal self-preservation mode. 

The space felt safe, but what awaited you wasn’t. 

Swallowing nervously, you wrapped your arms around yourself and looked around. A few curious gazes were taking in your form, but they weren’t the ones who tickled your survival instinct. 

You’d still be wary around that charmingly smiling merman - who had his human form on, but you recognized his species by the pointy ears, a shimmer of delicate scales framing his cheekbones, and a necklace of seashells and amber. He had the looks of a handsome, sweet guy you’d meet-cute in a grocery store, or a library, but who’d sweep you into the depths of his secluded cave and devour you. Maybe even literally. 

Though his gaze followed you as you stepped through the club, it wasn’t his attention that started that quivering in your fingers. To be honest, you were becoming really scared of finding out who caused that. 

There was therapeutic exposition and then there was this mad stupidity to serve yourself on a platter for brutal monsters to consume. 

Deciding it was the peak of your bravery, you promptly turned on your heel to run away from this place. But there was no door to exit through. 

Or maybe they moved somewhere, because all you had in front of you was a round alcove lit up with drops of glowing light so unlike the rest of the lamps in the Scaretale. Not a soft yellow, but almost red. Like heating lamps. 

There was no booth, or a sofa, or chairs, but pillows upon pillows upon pillows. On which rested a shimmering black coil of enormous reptilian tale. 

Its very tip was easily the size of your forearm. As it stretched upwards the size of it thickened, surpassing the size of human hips. Where said hips should be, the curve of the snake’s tale gradually transformed into a male’s belly and chest. His abdominal muscles were so well defined; his biceps were thick and big, too, even as he had his arms lazily spread on the pile of pillows. 

He was a naga, you realized. 

While most naga were said to have green or gold coloring of their tails, this one had black. Though each scale seemed to have an iridescent effect, fascinating the gaze with a dark rainbow of colors catching light. 

Your eyes slowly moved over his terrifying form. You were so damn scared of snakes! 

It was that fear freezing you in place that held you captive. At least at first, before your eyes finally reached the monster’s face.

He was handsome. In a lethal kind of way. Mustache was never a feature you found attractive, but on him it looked good. Sinister, but good. Hair on the sides of his head were cropped short, but the middle part was a coif of silky dark strands. 

Then there were his eyes. An opalescent kind of dark blue. With the black pupil in a reptilian vertical shape. 

That pupil seemed to widen for a split of a second, before narrowing and your own gaze felt somehow caught by it. You were unable to move your gaze away. Time seemed to slow down, reality around you melted away. But it was still just a second. One that stretched into eternity as you stayed mesmerized by the naga, but which was enough for his ultra fast moves. 

His tail snapped towards you, coiling around your legs and snatching you forward to him. 

A scream left your lips, but no one in the club reacted. 

He drew you into the alcove, weaving his thick tail around your body; including trapping your arms at your sides. You felt warmth seeping into your skin, relaxing and comforting your muscles. Was it from the heating lamps glowing above, or from his proximity, you weren’t sure. 

“Please, let me go.” Your voice wavered on a hushed whisper. 

“Shh.” He cooed, tightening his snare. “It’s okay, little mouse. I saw you trembling with fear and just wanted to help. Give you a reassuring hug, you see.” 

His sympathy was a wicked mockery, but there was something more terrifying to it - the unexpected realization that his hold around your body was actually providing said reassurance. 

You were scared of him, of how he could hurt you, but that shivering your brain tended to induce was subsiding faster than when you snuggled under your weighted blanket. 

“Such a pretty thing.” He mused, tightening and releasing the muscles in his tail which gave you a sensation of it rubbing against your body. “What’s your name, Mousekin?” 

You answered, looking up at him with teary eyes; pleading for him to release you. He didn’t seem to be interested in even acknowledging that issue. Holding you still in his crushing grip, he reached his hand to caress your cheek.

“Lovely. I’m Lloyd.” He introduced himself. “Seems to me like you’re a woman who enjoys a good cuddle.” As if to emphasize that, he squeezed you tighter, almost constricting your lungs for a brief moment. “Ain’t that just perfect that I enjoy it, too?” 

His eyes sparked with dark mischief, his lips curving in a sinister smirk. 

Your cuddling preferences and his weren’t on the same spectrum, far from it. Yet the strength with which he crushed your fragile body gave you that sense of safety and comfort, after which your body so often longed like a drug addict in withdrawal. 

“I don’t-” you wanted to politely excuse yourself from the situation, because as much as your body liked the feeling of being held tightly, you knew it wasn’t safe for you to let it unfold further.

“Why don’t I help you relax more, huh?” Lloyd spoke, as if you didn’t utter a single word. 

His hand, which stroked your cheek, moved to cup your chin. His grip tightened, rending your face immobile. With his thumb and forefinger he pressed on a particular spot in your jaw, forcing you to open your mouth. 

With eyes widening in fear, you watched him lean closer. His lips parted and white, shiny teeth appeared. One of his teeth elongated and a drop of shiny, golden liquid gathered on its tip. 

Some snakes were venomous. Was he going to kill you?

Lloyd pressed his lips to yours; not kissing you. Your mouth tingled where his touched it, but otherwise there was no sensation. Until that drop from his fang fell down onto your tongue. The substance coated your appendage with burning sweetness. That sensation spread rapidly, taking over your whole body from the inside. 

He pulled back, with a grin observing as realization dawned on you. It wasn’t visible on your face alone, since all your muscles deliciously relaxed, but your beautiful, big eyes shone in fear. 

His venom paralyzed you. Only the muscles which could get in his way, before he managed to break you into sweetly compliant. Some day in the future he won’t need to drug you to have you boneless and accepting of whatever he did to your body. 

“There you go,” he cooed, running his hands down your limp arms. “All soft and lax. And so warm from within, ain’t you, my cute Mousekin?” 

You felt that burning effect of venom melt into heat that spread through each of your limbs, filling your abdomen with tingling warmth. Your pussy fluttered, wetting slightly as the neurotoxin messed with your brain. 

“Let’s help you out of those unnecessary constrictions.” Lloyd hummed so sweetly, turning his actions into more sick and twisted as he started unbuttoning your flowery dress. 

You wanted to protest, but your throat was able to produce only a tiny, barely audible whimper. Your tongue laid unmoving. You couldn’t move a single part of your body, though you felt it responding to Lloyd’s ministrations. 

Your nipples hardened when he exposed your breasts and a gust of air grazed them. The way his eyes were greedily mapping out every inch of your body pooled more wetness between your thighs. 

He eased the grip of his tail only enough to peel your dress away. Then the scales brushed against your naked skin, evoking a completely new sensation that zapped through your pliant body; straight to your clit. 

“What a stunning, sweet Mousekin I have caught.” Lloyd sighed in not-entirely-fake admiration, as he took your naked form in. 

“Let me take a good look all over.” Something darker flashed in his eyes and his tail coiled around you tighter. Then your body was being lifted off the floor. 

Holding you in the air, Lloyd drew your body closer to his torso. His tail shifted, more of it winding around your upper body, while leaving your bottom half exposed. Your legs were limp, they parted so easily when he used his hands to grip below your knees and spread them wide. 

“Ohh,” he licked his lips hungrily, “such a moist, tasty snack.” 

He brought his mouth near your center, scenting along the juncture of your thigh first. Then his tongue flicked out; longer than human and forked at the end. 

A cry wanted to rip out of your lungs, but stayed buried within, when Lloyd swiped his tongue between your folds. If not for the paralysis, your entire body would violently shake in response to the surge of pleasure. 

When he flicked the tip of his tongue against your clit, you felt the jolt bring tears to your eyes. Most overwhelming, happy tears. Because his forked tongue teased both sides of your swollen pearl at once, providing a stimulation nothing else ever came close to. 

Slick poured out of you in a thankful gush. Which Lloyd greeted with a chuckle, then smashed your brain into a pulp slithering his tongue into your dripping hole. 

It was softer than any toy, or finger, but moved with a maddening wiggle. 

Your pussy spasmed. Perhaps, it was for the best that your vocal cords were switched off for the moment, because the sounds you would make from that stimulation had to be inhuman.

“Delicious.” Lloyd licked his lips lewdly as he slowly lowered your body down. 

Inwardly, you felt as if your body was twitching, edged with unbearable pleasure; though you were aware not a single finger of yours moved, still under the influence of his venom. 

Holding your legs wide apart, Lloyd moved your pelvis back and forth against the thickest part of his tail. Right where you’d expect… 

Air stuck in your lungs, a strangled sound bubbling out of your open mouth when you felt a defined hardness slipping between your folds. You haven’t seen his cock before when you looked over his body, but the shape of it pressing into your most intimate part was unmistakable. 

There was just one thing not right about it. 

Because you felt the thick, veiny length spreading your folds to rub against your clit, but also felt the same shape nudged between your buttocks. 

“Ah!” Lloyd tutted, caressing your cheek with the back of his hand. “You’re not familiar with naga’s anatomy, Mousekin.” 

He traced the outline of your lips with his fingertips. Your tongue could now move a tiny bit, only minimally, and it responded when his fingers slid into your mouth. Just a twitch. Lloyd tugged on it gently, drawing your tongue out to rest on your bottom lip. Saliva pooled down it, slowly dripping onto your chin, then lower still: onto your chest and Lloyd’s tail. 

“We-” his warm breath puffed against your open mouth- “have-” his tongue flicked against yours- “two-” he rocked you against his hardness- “cocks.”

Your pupils widened. More drool dribbled out of your mouth as garbled sounds bounced against the roof of your mouth. That’s why he was so obscenely grinding you back and forth against him, so that your slick coated two dicks.

“Exciting, right?” Lloyd chuckled; his tail increased its constricting pressure on your body. 

“Two cocks for your two, tight holes.” 

Slowly, he pulled you down. 

The strength in his tail was beyond what you could physically fight even if you had the full mobility of your body, so it held you down easily. Lloyd’s big hands dug into the soft meat of your thighs. His own muscles constricted as he rutted up into you, forcing his cocks into your holes. 

Your pussy opened easier, though it was still a stretch considering his girth. Your rim resisted, but Lloyd was merciless. A choked cry vibrated in your throat when his dick breached in.   

He didn’t pause once, continuing a firm stroke. Shamelessly, Lloyd groaned out loud his pleasure as he filled you. His sounds were nearly pornographic the deeper he went and the more your walls struggled. 

When he bottomed out, he moaned, tilting his head back. Veins on his neck throbbed. As did the cocks inside of you. 

“So good, Mousekin.” He praised, returning his gaze to you. “You’re so hot and tight around me. Just like we both like the most.”

His tail slithered around your torso, giving you a tighter squeeze. You hated how much your body enjoyed the constriction. You were overwhelmed with being impaled, stretched and filled; being taken against your consent; but you still felt comfort and safety in the way he was holding you. 

“You’re a perfect cocksleeve,” Lloyd cupped your face with both hands and leaned in.

With your tongue poking out and muscles still mostly numbed, you couldn’t respond to his obscene kiss. But you felt your lips tingling and your tongue twitching as Lloyd’s forked one swiped against it, before plunging into your mouth. 

When he withdrew, more of your saliva dropped down onto your torso. Where your breasts swell with arousal, heavy roundness resting atop the snake’s tail that weaved around your ribs.

Lloyd’s fingers danced down the column of your neck and lower. He smeared around trickles of your saliva, rubbed it into your stiffened nipples, then pinched. Your walls clenched in response.

“I’m going to get addicted to the way your walls hug me.” He groaned in delight. “Will have you cockwarming me for hours, mousekin. Keep you tied to me, so that your fragile, anxious body can fully relax and focus on being filled.”

You hated how right he was. For the past long minutes not once has your mind ignited with fear of being killed, or maimed, but all the focus was on basic primal sensations. How intense, but good it was to feel him deep inside of you. How lax and lazy your usually tense body was. 

“Let’s use you whole, my little cocksleeve,” Lloyd hummed and his tail brushed against your naked skin as he stretched his coil further. 

His tail moved up around you, weaving around your shoulders and the back of your head. Until the very tip tapped your cheek. 

Then it slid right against your open mouth. 

It was too wide to force itself into your mouth, but Lloyd stroked it back and forth over your tongue that was sticking out. 

At the same time, his hands slid up your thighs. With his thumbs, he brushed your parted, swollen folds. Touched you where one of his cocks speared into your cunt. Then his thumbs pressed on both sides of your clit and your insides constricted. 

Garbled sounds bubbled in your throat, gaining in vibration as venom slowly lost its power. Lloyd’s tail moved vigorously, in contrast to the unmoving cocks snug deep inside you. His thumbs rolled across your clit - left, then right, then left again. When he pinched your nub, your arousal peaked and snapped.

A long, faint whine reverberated against the tail resting across your tongue. Your pussy and ass squeezed tightly, making Lloyd groan. 

“ ‘Atta girl,” he praised softly, still teasing your pulsing pearl with a featherlike touch, prolonging the aftershocks. 

Tip of his tail eased down, dropping across your chest where it rested between your breasts. Your mouth was wet, saliva smeared all over your cheeks and chin. But you were finally able to move your tongue, drawing it back inside your mouth. You swallowed and then let out a ragged breath, your voice croaked. 

You were still unable to move, though you could curl your toes and wiggle your fingers a bit. Then again, the naga’s tail was still firmly wrapped around you, holding you in place as he filled you. 

Heart pounded in your chest. Not out of fear, but from the rush of orgasm and the growing hunger for another one. 

Your body, the betraying bitch, liked how Lloyd made it relax. 

Through heavy eyelids, you peeked at Lloyd. He eased his upper body back, resting against the pile of soft pillows. Arms once again thrown broadly to the sides, a nonchalant prick. With a smug smirk curving beneath his mustache, he watched your body straddling him. He enjoyed every fucking detail about the display - his black tail around you, slivers of your skin peeking between the coils, your breasts shiny with your drool, your thighs spread so wide that your pussy was fully exposed and he could see his cock disappear into your tight hole. 

You stayed like that for long minutes: your body still fully at his mercy, slowly regaining the ability to move and speak. There was no further stimulation as Lloyd simply stared at you and basked in the way your walls enveloped him in your heat. 

Cockwarming for hours, he said. It appeared he meant that literally. 

A part of you melted into the idea. There was something comforting, completely void of anxiety, to be filled and held and not caring about anything else. 

There was another part, too. A primal, needy part, as overactive as your anxiety-prone brain parts. It grew a little restless, itching to be brought to that edge again and promptly tipped over. 

Dam it, you wanted another orgasm. 

“P-please,” your voice was still weak, but you managed to whisper. 

“What do you need, mousekin?” Lloyd asked, though the way his smirk broadened into a grin, he knew damn well what your body craved. 

You wanted to blurt out that you needed him to let you go, that you wanted to go home. You came to the Scaretale with some not well thought through fantasies of finding a nice monster, who would hug you tight and could become a future partner. You weren’t prepared for the evil turn of events and being ensnared by a deviant naga. 

Who hugged your body better than any weighted blanket, but breached any boundary and used you for his pleasure. 

“Home-” you dared to beg, hoping to hear (even if he laughed first) that you would be allowed to return home after he was satisfied with your holes warming him. 

“Aww, sunshine.” Lloyd cooed, resting his hands on your knees and giving a soothing squeeze. “We’ll go home soon enough.”

You jerked in his hold as a terrifying realization dawned on you. He would never let you back to your own place. He wanted to keep you. You shook your head as much as you could, which wasn’t much. 

“You’ll like it, mousekin.” He continued. “It’s so warm. In a very sunny area. A classy stone finish, so that so many surfaces gather heat and are pleasant to rest on. And I own the lands around it, so it’s quiet and void of any unnecessary stimuli.” 

He let out a dark chuckle, drawing his hands higher up your thighs.

“But you’ll get all the stimulation from me, mousekin.” 

His tail gripped you tighter anew, making your breath hitch in your lungs as he constricted your ribs. He pulled you up slightly; his cocks dragging along your fluttering walls. Then he pushed you back down, bottoming out again. 

He grinned as you mewled. 

“That’s a good cocksleeve.” He gradually increased the pace. “Sheathing my cocks so perfectly. So warm and wet and fucking tight.” 

“You’ll take my cum so well, too.” Lloyd’s voice turned raspy, his own need growing urgent as he fucked you harder. “You’ll love it, mousekin. It will feel so burning hot and tingling.”

“When I fuck you on our stone patio, you’ll be warmed by the sun and by my cum filling your belly.”

He laughed when your body responded with an unexpected orgasm. It was building from the friction and his dirty words, but the way it suddenly burst was a screaming surprise, which you couldn’t fight off. 

One more orgasm rocked your body (which finally got to twitch and jerk in its full capacity; well, as much of it as the naga’s tail wrapped around you allowed), before Lloyd shamelessly shouted out his own release and spilled inside you.

He held you still as his cocks throbbed, pumping spurt after spurt of cum. Your gasp transformed into an almost pained moan as you felt that burning hot sensation fill your orifices. Just like he mentioned, his cum was hot and carried that tingling, almost numbing feature his venom had. 

You didn’t feel any paralysis, even partial, taking over. Yet your body sagged in most pleasant comfort; like when after a long, exhausting day you got to take a hot shower and then snuggle under fresh, clean sheets.  

Though this was more lewd and soiled. 

Your breath was heavy. Every few seconds your lips parted on a short moan as you felt that pulsing heat flooding your belly. 

The tail around you loosened its grip, slowly weaving down. He let go of you fully, resting the heavy, lower half of his body on the pillows below. Still, you didn’t move from where you were straddling his hips. You didn’t even attempt to.

Because it felt too fucking good, how completely boneless and brain-dead you were. 

“Good girl, mousekin.” Lloyd praised as you braced your hands on his chest and leaned down to rest your cheek against his sternum. 

You didn’t move your hips, keeping his cocks nestled in your pussy and ass. 

“What a perfect, sweet cocksleeve,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around your back and simply holding your spent body to him. Tightly, just as you liked.

“Don’t worry,” he kissed the top of your head, “we’ll get rid of those anxious thoughts of your silly human life when they resurface. I’ll fuck it right out of you. Until you fully settle in your role as my heated sheath. My little cockwarmer.” 

[facefullofsadness]

Can I request sub!Sakura x soft!dom!reader? Basically fluff smut (-_-")

sakura unnie being just the submissive bby girl she truly is 🥰

content - loser gamer!sakura (bc she literally is just a loser who happens to be an idol u can't change my mind), smut (cunnilingus, corruption kink kinda but not really inflicted, reader is a lil intoxicated), fluff (I guess? like kinda?)

wc - 2148 (might've gotten carried away...)

sakura is a sensitive girlie.

and this doesn't just apply to in bed but in real life too. when you first met her, she was so shy and jumpy. seeing her at a pc café with the cat ear headphones she brought from home, wearing glasses, gray sweatpants, and a graphic tee way too oversized for her small body.

going up to her because u recognized her from your biochem class, asking if she did the homework yet.

"oh uh, hi, you know my name? uhm, sorry I'm a mess. wait a second, sorry," kura would stumble over her words, balancing her focus between the pretty girl talking to her and the intense league match she had going on.

sigh, how fucking adorable.

the way you grazed her shoulder with the tips of your fingers as you *intently* watched as she tried not to feed the enemy team (failing by the way). your focus was more on the way sakura's body tensed at the gentle contact.

it flicked a switch in your brain watching her bite down hard on her lip, trying so hard not to break in front of you. this only whirred you on, needing to see her desperate. and so you made it your goal to make this girl yours, in every way.

wooing her (easily bc pretty girl) into becoming your girlfriend, making her feel so loved and special, making her feel like you were the only person in the world for her. yes of course you loved her truly, but the switch that was on in your head always shone a light so bright that reminded you of how obsessed you were with the submissive aspects of this girl.

starting tame in your relationship, holding hands, cupping her cheeks and rubbing your thumbs against them, planting soft and gentle kisses on her, giving her sweet cuddles. it would eventually progress into brushing fingers against her sensitive waist, hearing as kura would release shaky breaths at the contact, deep and passionate makeout sessions where she would be breathless and sweaty under you, kissing and leaving dark marks on her neck and across her chest which would have her whining, trying to push you away because god how embarrassing it felt to be so small against you.

seeing her face so flushed pink and eyes dazed after an intimate moment drove you insane. you absolutely just needed to see more. and so when the first time you guys had sex, you had to remind yourself not to take it too far. after all, she's still your lovely sweet loser girlfriend who wouldn't hurt a fly (mostly because she's probably too scared of it).

and by sex, I mean eating out your precious girlfriend while she was gaming. you had gotten a little tipsy that night, drinking by yourself in the living room, dragging your body into kura's bedroom where she was focused in on a match of overwatch. too buzzed to act interested in her game, you pull yourself onto her lap and nestled your face into her neck.

you smiled against her skin as you felt the girl's breath hitch at the sudden gesture, your hot breath hitting her sensitive spot.

"y/n baby, I'm k-kinda busy right n-now..." she'd stutter, losing focus.

you shush her, planting wet kisses against her jaw and neck, "keep playing kura, don't worry about me. just focus."

the cogs in your brain speed and your heartbeat races with the corruptive thoughts running through your head. you feel yourself heat up at the need to feel her fall apart against you, shaking in your hold. hearing her shaky voice make callouts to her teammates over comms, your greedy hands brushing her sides and trailing her abdomen, mouth leaving wet spots across her exposed collarbone.

you moan against her skin, her body so tense when you touch her, exciting you more than you think is possible. though you wanted to be patient and gentle with her when it comes to intimate moments like this, in your drunken state, it was hard to think straight. and so it slips your mind when your hands trail up to cusp her tits, thumbs rubbing her hard nipples in circles.

your brain short circuits when you hear her whimper right against your ear, kissing her on the cheek and grinding down against her core. you push one of the headphone muffs back, whispering in her ear.

"do you like that baby, like when I touch your naughty little body like this? like when I grind against your aching pussy like that?" you rasp breathily, biting the lobe of her ear and chuckling lowly.

one of her hands fly off of the keyboard and quickly mute her mic, bringing her hand to tangle her fingers with your hair.

"ahhh fuck, y/n-ie, I'm.. that feels so.. ahh," sakura can't contain the moans slipping out of her mouth easily as your grinding continues and your fingers pinch at her hardened buds.

you pull your face away from her heaving chest and bring your lips to grace her own lips, "baby, why'd you stop playing? be a good girl and win for me."

how evil, sakura must be thinking in that little head of hers, clouded with lust.

she whines needily against your lips and you kiss her sweetly in response, "c'mon baby, I'll reward you if you listen to me."

and so she gulps and nods, leaning forward against you before unmuting and returning back to the game. hm, how easy it is to control you my love, you think sinisterly.

pulling ur hands away and getting off of her, looking up at her darting eyes, full of nervousness and excitement, you smirk at the sight. you bring your hands up to the waistband of her sweats, untying the knot and slowly pulling them down.

your eyebrows raise when you see how dark her panties have gotten, wet and practically soaked with arousal.

"you DO like this baby, don't you? looks like a little too much, what do you think?" you bite your lip as you drag a single finger across the whole length of her slit, feeling how damp her underwear truly is.

she whimpers uncontrollably above you, clamping her eyes shut and throwing her head back against the headrest, trying so hard to hold back. you just know her hands are gripped tightly into fists as you press your thumb firmly against her clit through the cloth.

"guys please, we're so close," sakura begs her teammates to wrap up the game, almost a double entendre to your ears.

you look up at her sweetly and innocently, "or take your time my love, I can wait."

she peers down to look at you and frowns, eyes welling up and face scrunched with pleasure. aww, my poor baby, she wants you to stop teasing so bad and just let her fucking cum.

you hook your fingers around her panties and pull them down to pool at her ankles with her sweatpants. you pull her to the edge of her gamer chair by her thighs, your strong grip pushing apart her legs.

"you'll get what you need so bad when you win," god you're so mean :(((

she's aching so bad, the way you can physically see her hole clench around nothing, just by your words and the sheer amount of arousal that courses through her. you can't just let her go untouched, so when you throw her panties and sweats off of her ankles and to the side, lifting her legs to rest on top of your shoulders, hearing her squeal at the movement, and hotly breathe out onto her core, you go dizzy. you swear you're probably much more fucking soaked in your underwear than she is by how turned on you were by the effects you had on her.

none of that mattered right now though, all that did matter and the only thing you focused on was sakura. your precious sakura and her leaking hole. you couldn't resist anymore, diving in and sucking her entrance directly, using your tongue to lap at all the juices that she produced messily all over her pussy.

"fuck y/n!" she moaned, not caring about the game and throwing an arm over her face, hiding behind it.

"shhh, play," you'd mumble against her, flicking your wet muscle on her bundle of nerves.

"I-I can't baby..." kura whined, hearing her start to sob.

no no, couldn't have your baby suffer now could you?

"you can do it, go kura, make me proud," you'd caress her legs sweetly, moving away from her center and kissing her trembling thighs.

"we.. I'm almost, d-done," she shakily said.

at that moment, you heard cheering explode from her headphones, sakura throwing them off and muting her mic.

her hands would fly to gripping one of your hands around her thighs and your hair, "y/n, please please please, god please it hurts so bad."

looking up at her pained and desperate expression, you smiled again, "don't worry, I'll give you your reward my good girl."

diving in greedily finally, thrusting your tongue into her hole, making the most graphic wet noises from your needy mouth and her leaking pussy. the girl above you uncontrollably moaning out your name, gripping your hand and hair tightly, it hurt.

it didn't matter to you as the juice on your tongue was so delicious, the whines filling your ears sounded like music, and the body you held was trembling with pleasure. you closed your eyes as you dug your wet muscle into her and brushed your nose against her clit.

"baby ahh! fuck fuck fuck, yes yes, please don't stop, please god, it feels sosososo good y/n, I beg you, your mouth is insane," sakura would ramble mindlessly.

you listened, being crazily pussy drunk, not being able to breathe but not caring, borderline deep throating her pussy with how deep you dug your face into her. being so horny yourself, grinding against the air and panting into her. your fingers gripped painfully against her thighs, forgetting your entire plan to treat her caringly.

not that sakura seemed to mind, her head was thrown back and mouth hung wide open, eyes rolled back and screaming out profanities with your name. her hand in your hair pushed you deeper into her, grinding her hips desperately against you.

you loosened your grip slightly to let her fuck your face. you wanted to see her lose control because of you badly, so you opened your eyes to look up at her, and you swear you could cum on the spot just by how sinful the sight was. you moaned deeply into her pussy, the vibrations making sakura go insane, her body started to thrash and jolt, humping your face even more.

you slurped hungrily at her, losing any thoughts of technique and simply eating her out how you needed to. after all, kura doesn't care and grinds against your face rabidly, everything feels too fucking good to think.

"CUMMING, CUMMING!" she'd scream out, grip on you tightening even more.

"cum for me," you try mumbling as much as you could, airways practically blocked with her pussy.

sakura's body convulses, shaking with a screaming orgasm, juices squirting from her and drenching your face, chest, and clothes. you almost drown at the contact, but drink all the arousal that escapes.

her body stops violently jolting, only jerking every now and then from the aftershocks of the mindblowing climax she just came from. you release your tight grip as she does also, caressing her thighs softly, and kissing all over her sensitive core and legs. poor baby is completely gone, dazed and exhausted. you pull away from her pussy but make your way up to her face, never fully ripping away from her.

cupping her face and looking at her spent figure. chest raising and falling, mouth open, drool leaking out, cheeks stained with tears, body limp, thighs marked red, neck littered with hickies, her eyes half-lidded, and mumbling.

"y/n-ie, I'm can't," you giggle at how fucked out she is.

the throbbing at your core hurts honestly, but you ignore it, carrying your baby girl off of the chair and onto her bed. your clothes were soaked with her juices, looking back at her desk and seeing remnants of it there too. you'd clean it later, what matters is taking care of your girlfriend now.

"you did so well baby, you can rest," you'd whisper comfortingly in her ear, kissing her lips softly.

"do you want me to get you water? I can run the bath for you?" you offer, rubbing your hands sweetly over her red thighs.

"no, need you here," she'd say, pulling you into a cuddle, passing out on the spot.

you smile and place a peck on sakura's forehead, "okay."

need her so bad...

[regular-gnome]

hey..

at what point do collectors opt to turn things from puppets to scrolls? I feel like turning an entire living creature into [a piece of paper] is very complicated, while turning them into simple puppets is easier because they keep all the same parts, just simplified and wood?

It is! It depends on the person's proficiency and understanding of the mechanism regarding when and how they change the creature. Once someone gets good at it, the creature can be transformed into a lifeless object without it dying in the process, and they will move on to more complex and efficient ways.

The way I see it, archiving is a form of information compression and storage—and there is A LOT of information. When looking at Earth creatures we have everything from single-cell bacteria to whales that range up to 100 quadrillion cells, all with different sizes. The smallest single-cell critter is 0.3 μm, while the largest single cell is an ostrich egg that can get to 18 cm. So it's not just noting "a cell"—there's also a lot of information about the cell content, size, the DNA, current water, and oxygen levels, what protein it contains and how much. Then there are spatial dimensions. (While we can consider there being more, especially in fiction, I’m sticking to three; trying to visualize four fills me with frustration and existential dread xD) Every cell has its place in space in relation to the others, and all the contents' relations are also important. If, suddenly, all histones materialize inside a mitochondria instead of the nucleus, we can have a problem. Additionally, physical and chemical processes gotta be considered. There's electricity powering our brains, hearts, running nerves, air in airways traveling to lungs, chemical signals traveling between synapses that also need to be accounted for. So, you have all the contents in space, their vectors, and building blocks. Thats a ton to save. This information has to be compressed to be preserved in an organized manner while also remaining lossless so that when returned to its original shape, it's as it was. Not even mentioning that in intelligent beings, there are also minds to take care of. Jellyfish might be fine after 100 years in a static void, but a human? Yhhhhh.

I think the mechanism would work by saving information in intangible magic and assigning it to a physical medium—be it a statue, doll, book, or scroll. If it is physical and can carry information, it can be used. We can argue the mind is part of the soul, or it is a biochemical process, but the fact is nobody really knows for sure what it is and Im not a theolog, so for the sake of this universe, I'll say it's something that occupies the same space magic does and is influenced by chemical processes, meeeeaning it can also be tricked by them. And the magic.

The first degree of preservation would be spells that only change the material but keep all shapes and info in place. This wouldn't require much thought while executing and could be "automated" or worse, taught to mortals (if they have enough magic to power the spell), like petrification or changing someone into wood, metal, or any other solid material. It's not perfect, if the structure is damaged, the spatial information is damaged too. Breaking is one thing, but imagine if the statue melts.

The next step would be assigning objects with some compression and change, like toys and dolls. I feel like there would need to be a system like a content library, so not every single atom is saved each time, but chemical structures like nucleotides in DNA (the ATGC thingies) would just have a shortcut. Larger repeating patterns could also be assigned their own id to save data, and it would slowly stack up. While things are written in intangible magic form and anchored to the medium, the medium can be somewhat customized, like the decorations the Collector added to the dolls. The mind, running in controlled magic, can also be affected, as we saw with Collie trying to scare them and Luz’s dream. On the spell keeping the preserved critter stable has a link to what shortcut it uses so with countless diffrent worlds and structres it wouldnt mix up.

Then we go further into compression, reducing size and dimensions until we reach a point where one axis is almost entirely removed, and we end up with a scroll. Then there are other things—creatures saved as amber miniatures, snow globes, scrolls, or drawings, sometimes purely to annoy the sibling that has to deal with the creature in unhandy form. A more permanent binding would be in a book that can contain a bunch of different animals. Rebinding for long-term preservation is the Curator’s job.

Looking at Earth creatures, eucariotic life shares ancestry with some ancient bacteria that decided to rebel and started to cooperate, so we share similarities even with distant organisms in some strutures since they come from each other. So when it comes to preserving whole populations with relations, the library of compression doesn’t have to be separate for every single animal or plant. For each section of the archive, there would be a common library of building blocks, and scrolls being somewhat separate carrying the exact instructions for body arrangement and the soul/mind/the part that makes them alive attached.

Next is unpacking the information. I think this requires the ability to interpret and recreate what was saved that mortals lack. While they couldn't really unpetrify others, a collector could (assuming the mind hadn’t deteriorated into a husk). In the case of an automated spell, I think it would result in a very lossy transmutation—like a jpg losing pixels, the creature might lose like heart funtion. The Collector's spell also looked temporary or incomplete since an influx of other types of magic (like in Amity or Raine’s case) was able to push back on it. That might also be why they were conscious in the form they were in. Not meant for long just enough to take them to archive in normal conditions. When a creature is heavily compressed, it needs external force to rebuild, as it's essentially written fully in magic. That’s what I think happened to the Owl Beast. Lilith released it from the medium, but since it wasn’t fully rebuilt, it being a magic form attached itself to a magic source.

SO YEAH, its a process that takes quite a while for them to master and it comes with experience. But when experience is based on life it often makes it hard to practice so those with less empathetic approach master it faster. Thanks for the ask! I was dying to talk about that for such a long time and that was a perfect thing to organise thoughts

[underkunimi]

i’m definitely projecting onto luffy (and law) but

luffy in a hard class like A&P or even Biochem(im struggling so hard rn) and he’s having a hard time remembering everything for his exams and quizzes because there’s just so much to learn on top of his other classes and labs and on top of making time for himself and his friends and maybe sleeping. sometimes.

stay with me, law and luffy are both all nighter buds in like a match my freak type of way. law awake for three days straight studying? luffy is right there with him trying to remember all the mfing types of connective tissue (there’s so many, it makes my (and his) brain hurt). luffy spends all weekend buried in his notes and attempting to figure this shit out? law figures out a system for him where for every chapter luffy studies, he gets a 45 minute break to play video games. law gets a energy recharging hug (that turns into cuddles and then passing out sometimes) when the words all start blurring together. luffy gets a kiss for every lecture video he finishes idk. i just need them to be the same level of sleep deprived but for wildly different reasons and at different levels.

sleep deprived shenanigans of luffy losing his pencil only to realize it’s in his hand, law accidentally drinking luffy’s crazy ass coffee concoction, both of them flipping out when the other goes to the bathroom because they blinked and the other was gone, luffy jumping out of his skin when the door closes, luffy scaring the shit out of law when he starts complaining, law going to drink coffee and completely misses his mouth and spills all down his shirt and luffy laughing hysterically cause “torao is so dumb” luffy clipping his keys to his belt loop and then panicking cause he can’t find his keys because he forgot, law puts his glasses on his head and then he can’t find them

[fireinthefireproofvault]

Hammelburg University Chapter 1 (Hogan's Heroes College AU)

(My first Hogan's Heroes fic 🥳 Nothing too deep or revolutionary, just wanted to have some silly fun! This chapter is mostly just introductions and setup before we really get started hehe~)

For all they said about Germany, they sure had nice labs. The H.U. laboratory spaces were nothing like the little rooms with chipped white-painted tables and a few beakers and microscopes back in Indiana community college. Real equipment walled the whole place and even sat as decoration if the spectrometer on the professor's desk was anything to go off of. Heck, that was the most advanced spectrometer Andrew had ever seen, not that he'd ever really seen one in person before. But if he had, he was sure it wouldn't be as fancy as that. Too bad they wouldn't need it for this class.

This class. At the thought, he gulped, nerves shooting back up, but they were quickly interrupted by the scrape of the chair at his side. Oh boy, a neighbor! Lab partner! Little guy. Short dark hair and dark eyes. Neatly kept. All his pencils were lined up and his textbook looked positively immaculate. Must be smart.

"Some class this is gonna be, huh? I'm a little scared, to be honest."

"Don't tell me you took this class as an elective." Snippy as the words, lightly accented, could have been, they were delivered with humor and a smug little smile that had Andrew smiling back.

"No way! I'm a Chem major. I have to take stuff like this the whole time. I had my choice for this slot, so I thought 'why not biochem?' It's the kind I know the least about. What about you?"

"For my major, too, though I had no choice in the matter. All the medical majors need a good foundation."

"Medical? Wow, are you going to be a doctor?"

"In a sense," the little guy smiled again, this one devoid of humor in lieu of something sweeter and more idealistic, "Veterinary Science."

"Ooh, that's great! My aunt had a great vet when her dog got sick- said it made all the difference in the world. Gave him five stars on Yelp and everything! Bet you'll get five stars too one day."

"There's just one little hurdle to get past."

"What's that?"

"I still faint at the sight of blood."

~

The classroom was pretty standard.  Close enough to what they had back in the States and clearly set up for the debates that Robert so anxiously looked forward to.  Big part of why he was a law student, after all.  Not one, but two podiums stood eyeing down the sea of chairs waiting for their chance to see their bearers take the stage, verbally and psychologically duking it out.

As it stood, first class was always for introductions.  Assessing the strengths and weaknesses of all the other students.  A cursory glance around the already-filled seats found Robert a fun one, urged his feet forward to the seat he’d claim for the semester’s duration.

Eager look.  Short, dark hair prematurely thinning a little bit.  Pity.  Black hair, blue eyes, proud features made infinitely more haughty by, of all things, a monocle.  Slight upturn in the nose working with the tiny lens and its accompanying squint to paint the picture of one attending a prestigious university on daddy’s money.  Oh, yes, Robert liked the looks of this one.

“Lemme guess— long line of lawyers?”

The young man looked startled, tilted his head with puzzlement as he fixed Rob with a good straight-on look for the first time, taking in his mild, quizzical smile and cheekily raised brows before raising his own.

“How did you know?”

Nailed it.  His voice managed to come across simultaneously confident and wavering.  Money.  German accent, too— perhaps a Hammelburg native?  No, not with clothes that nice.  That turtleneck was practically hand-tailored the way it hugged his lean figure.  Probably Berlin.

“All the best lawyers go here,” Robert pointed out, “And who better to usher in the next generation than the guys who already made their millions?  Robert Hogan, by the way.  Friends just call me Hogan.”

“Wilhelm Klink.”  The young man opposite Robert straightened.  Paused.  One moment, two.  A wide smile.  “Friends just call me Klink.”

“Sure they do,” Rob smiled back, giving a little shake of his head, “The gang back in Berlin?”

Repeat performance.  “How did you know?”

“I’m psychic.  Would you like me to read your palm next?”

~

“Need some help with that?”

Peeling his eyes from the teetering textbook-student union tray-starbucks spread between both arms, Kinch was met with the sight of a guy in a long blue coat and, curiously, sporting a watch on each wrist.  Cocking an eyebrow, he smiled coolly.

“Sure, if you don’t mind grabbing the starbucks.”

“Heading to a table?”

Judging by the accent, the timepiece connoisseur was a bloke from England.  Hammelburg University boasted a surprising number of international students.  Students like Kinch himself, not that Mister Fish and Chips had as much to prove.

“Yeah,” Kinch nodded, “Any by the wall?”

“Your wish is my command.”  Waving a hand, the brit guide-dogged Kinch to the edge of the student union, spilling not a drop of his starbucks even as he swept all the trash and napkins off the table with a flourish, holding up a finger.  “But for a price.  I need the outlet, too.”

“Be my guest.”

“Good thing I’ve got an hour here.  My phone’s almost dead,” he remarked as he plugged in.

“Me too,” Kinch told him, “I don’t suppose you’re in Econ 1?”

Those big blue eyes widened alongside the grin beneath them.  “Well, how do you like that?  Have you bought your textbook already?  If so, have I got a proposition for you.  Peter Newkirk, by the way.”

“The artist formerly known as James Kinchloe.”

It was Peter’s turn to cock an eyebrow at that.

“Everyone just calls me Kinch,” the aformentioned ‘artist’ added with a shrug and a sip of his German starbucks, “Now I don’t suppose your proposition has anything to do with sharing a textbook, does it?”

“I like to think of it more like ‘joint study sessions’.  A little symbiotic relationship, if you will.”

Kinch grinned.  “Save that for biology— you’ve already got yourself a deal.”

“Thank you,” Peter rested a hand over his heart, “For saving me from a life of crime downloading illegal PDFs.  That’s the gateway, they always say.”

“I thought that was weed.”

“Yeah, well, I already tried that and I didn’t like it very much.”

“Really?  You?”

“Yeah, don’t like the smell much and it made me a little too—  Oi, wait, what’s that supposed to mean?”

~

“What are you looking at?”

“Your ring, of course.  Everything else you have is the same as mine.”

“What about it?  It’s a family crest!”

“Quite ostentatious.”

“Like your sweater isn’t designer!”

“I never said it wasn’t.  You might notice that it is only solid grey, though.”

The young man frowned.  Glanced down and then back up with those suspiciously narrowed brown eyes.  Said nothing, of course.

Albert tried again, extending an olive branch he didn’t particularly mind the acceptance status of.  “Prosecution?”

This time, a tight smile.  “Of course.”

“Then we have that in common.  Albert.”

Albert extended a hand, his seatmate took it.  “Wolfgang.”

“And what are those two in front of us doing?  It looks like…a palm reading?”

“Would you two knock that off?”  Wolfgang hissed at the students seated at the desk directly in front of them, knocking their joined hands apart with his.

The guy in the leather jacket, the one who’d been tracing a finger over the lines of the other’s in a clear display of bullshit, shrugged and fixed Wolfgang with a devil-may-care smile.

“Why, you wanted your turn?”

Had this been a cartoon, Wolfgang would surely have had one of those little veins drawn upon his forehead.  “The professor just walked in!”

“Ah,” Leather Jacket nodded, tilting his head in mock thought, “You’re right.  I should do him next— might get me some extra credit.”

Snickering to himself, Albert gave one final glance between Wolfgang and Leather Jacket and shook his head.  Wouldn’t this be a fun semester?

~

The paths between buildings—towering, old, and stone—were immaculately paved and clean.  Not a wad of gum or piece of trash in sight, at least not where Robert and Wilhelm exited their class.  Only smooth, evenly spaced light grey stones to greet his boots with each tap toward the student union.  They’d even put in flower beds along the way, filled with bright blue cornflowers of all things.  Ugh.  Robert shook his head before glancing back Wilhelm’s way.

“Hey, how about an after-class starbucks?  My treat.”

“But you came in with a starbucks,” Wilhelm protested.

Robert shrugged.  “Yeah, but the barista was so hot, I’m kinda hoping she’s still working.  Campus sure knows how to make their money.”

“She was… that pretty, huh?”

“Gorgeous.  Enough to give anyone a caffeine addiction.”

“Alright, if you really want to spend your money on me, who am I to say no?  Lead the way,” Wilhelm replied, sweeping a hand toward the student union.

“And lemme guess, your usual’s a venti with a lot of add-in shit?”

“Hazelnut syrup is not shit!”

“Sure, man,” Robert smirked, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets, “Sure.”

He watched Wilhelm stew in his thoughts— whatever those were— all the way up that neat trail and between the great glass union doors.  All up those old wooden steps, heavy and sturdy beneath the weight of every student passing through them.  Starbucks awaited at beyond the stairwell’s open arms.  Those and the long-ass line winding out the doors and nearly out to the study tables.

“Long line.”

“I see that.”

“If you wanna pass the time, we could finish your palm reading,” Robert offered, extending his hand.

Squinting down at it, then back up into his eyes, Wilhelm said, “Forget it” and promptly pulled out his phone.  iPhone 16.  Tch.  Leaning over his shoulder when they shuffled forward in line, Robert watched a tiktok alongside him.  One of an older guy playing a classical violin.

“He’s good,” he remarked with a nod down to the screen, “You like the violin?”

Pulling his phone away, turning it off and sliding it into his pocket, all while maintaining firm eye contact, Wilhelm broke into a proud grin.  “Like it?  I play it.  I’m a music minor.”

“Oh, yeah?  Do you have any videos of yourself playing?”

What followed was an entire caffeine-and-sex-driven shuffle into corporate coffee purgatory soundtracked by the pained cries of a tortured violin cradled beneath the loving grip of Wilhelm, who for the first time Robert wondered at the possibility of deafness.

“So?  What do you think?”

“I think you’re next to order,” Robert deflected, scooting him closer to the counter, where a second, different hot barista stood, “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

“Wait,” Wilhelm floundered, turning back, “What do I say?”

“Venti with three pumps of extra shit, remember?”

“One venti with three pumps of extra sh-  Hmph!”  Wilhelm waved a hand.  “Who needs you?”

“Her, if I’m lucky,” Robert shot back with a smile and a nod to Hot Barista Two, whose name tag read Hilda, “One grande Americano…”

“For the grande Americano?”  Wilhelm mocked, arms crossed tight along his turtleneck.

“Hey, I like that!  Mind if I steal it?”

Hilda giggled, asking Wilhelm to repeat his order one more time before taking their pay and waving them off.

“What, do you follow all those ‘how do you open’ accounts on twitter?”

“Stick with your violin videos, that’s all weird incel shit.”

“Weird incel sh— whoa!”

Before the two of them could even bustle past the line and find a table, someone had bumped into Wilhelm, sending a bit of his venti hazelnut mocha splattering onto his loafers.

“Dummkopf!  These are expensive,” he whined, waving a pitiful hand over them instead of acting.

Handing him a napkin, Robert got a good look at the guy who’d crashed into them.  Big guy, tall and broad-shouldered.  Just broad in general.  Large hands held at his sides, he peered down with wide blue eyes at Wilhelm’s wealthy angst.

“I was not trying to!  I swear I just wanted to go find a table.  I did not even see you!  I saw nothing!  I did not even see my own feet.”

“Yeah, I bet.  You’re fine.  Wanna come sit with us?”

“Robert,” Wilhelm was still whining, “Why?”

“Answered your own question, buddy,” Robert responded, slinging an arm around him and standing him back up, marching their little troupe of three over to the array of tables, all of which seemed to be occupied by study groups, couples, and the like.

“’ey, Schultzie, looking for a table?”

The voice, eager and British, belonged to a guy in blue who was wearing two watches for some reason.  Sat across from him was a guy about the same age, handsome and dark-skinned, clad in a jacket and beanie, and seemingly working on a mustache.

“Friends of yours?”

“Yes,” the big guy replied with a smile, “From my Econ class!”

“Look at us,” Robert said, arms still around both German students as he marched them over, “Day One and already a big happy family.”

[scarlet-stu-dies]

23. 10. 2024

okay so i know i forgot to post for a few days 😭 so here's what happened:

19/10: saturday

first dissection!! AND I VOLUNTEERED AT OUR TABLE AND DID IT!!

20/10: sunday

...somehow i wasted the entire day

21/10: monday

more dissection. more wasting of time

22/10: tuesday

i TRIED to study, okay? but well...

23/10: wednesday

✓ woke up at 5 am

✓ read and made notes on erythropoiesis

✓ read a bit about the femoral triangle

? morning lectures were about stress management and interpersonal relationships? idk i read @athenaareia 's fanfic during it

✓ had a sdl class about erythropoiesis but they finished the q/a before they reached my roll no, :(

✓ more dissection!!! saw the femoral nerve, artery and vein and the profunda femoris artery. accidentally cut a vein and tendon (?) though that was my DT mate's fault, not mine

? came back to the hostel, couldn't study/do ANYTHING in the evening because of hostel stuff and also seniors dealing *ahem* ragging *ahem* with us

! one of the girls on my floor kept yapping for SO LONG and i, as usual, was to awkward to tell her to go so... yeah. yapped and vibe matched with her for 2 entire hours.

✓ finally found the time to read about the hip bone (a bit?)

✓ drew the anterior view and lateral view of the hip bone

? im wayyy too sleepy rn.

honestly, I can't help but feel that in doing NOTHING here. everything is going too fast and I don't understand half the stuff taught in anatomy classes. i adore biochem atp.

also there's a lizard above me. im scared to sleep.

but I am sleepy. i slept through the physio equipment demonstration and people NOTICED like they asked me after class if I was alright so... yeah.

this is despite the fact that I slept 8 entire hours yesterday

so what I've come to realise is that regardless of how many hours I sleep, I'm still gonna be sleeping during lectures

solution? imma wake up at 4/5 am and study. yoohoo. (it's about 1 am rn fyi)

nini <3

[seeingivy]

burnout 

megumi fushiguro x f!reader 

in which megumi takes care of you after a stressful day

read on ao3

- 

Megumi Fushiguro hates when you’re late. He knows you’re a perfectionist, but for some reason, you always let time slip behind you. While he can usually grant you grace, you’ve particularly crossed the line today. He’s been waiting at the Golden Lantern, your favorite Chinese food spot near campus, for the past hour and a half, spamming you with texts that were becoming borderline threatening. 

At the two hour mark, Megumi begrudgingly orders your favorite dishes as takeout and storms to your apartment, ready to give you a piece of his mind. He swipes the spare key you and Nobara keep under the light switch and storms in. 

“Hey, idiot. I waited two hours for you to show up and you didn’t even-” 

Megumi turns his head, silencing at the sight of you. You’re slumped against your desk, fast asleep face first in your Biochemistry textbook. He can see the tiredness on your face, your features scrunched up with deep bags under your eyes. 

He silences completely, eyeing the state of your room. You were a perfectionist in all aspects of life, which is why the huge pile of clothes at the side of your desk was basically nightmare material to him. 

He curses himself for not catching on sooner, slinging his arms around your waist to lift you up. He starts tiptoeing towards your bed, making sure to move slowly to prevent you from waking up. He moves onto the bed, leaning over to you to tuck you into the middle. 

“Fushiguro?” 

“Shh. Go back to sleep.” 

He sees your eyes flutter close and praises the gods you went back to sleep. You had a tendency to ignore everything he said when you were awake. As he moves to leave your bed, you grab onto him in your sleep, snuggling into the side of his arm. 

He freezes, unsure what to do. You’re sleeping on his arm. If he moves, you might wake up. But he can’t just sit here in your bed with you while you sleep right? Is that weird? 

While Megumi battles what move to make, you move even closer, gravitating towards the warmth he was radiating. Now he definitely can’t move. He looks down, seeing you fast asleep against him. As he adjusts himself against the headboard, he shoots a text to Nobara, trying to gauge how far gone you were. 

kugisaki. 

shut up, fushiguro. 

how has y/n been lately? 

did you see the pile in her room? i broke out into a cold sweat when i saw it

we were supposed to get dinner but she never showed. i just found her slumped over her desk, asleep head first in her biochem textbook 

oh yeah, she’s been staying up all night studying. she chugs celsius and protein bars all night

Megumi grips the phone out of frustration. 

the other day, she kinda had a whole meltdown. yuuji accidentally threw away her sake leftovers and she cried about it for like three hours. telling him how she was stressed about the exam, how she had been waiting to finish the chapter to eat the food. he said she nearly collapsed after she stopped crying.

i don’t know what i’m going to do with this girl. 

you and me both, fushiguro.

He knew that you needed everything to be perfect when it came to school, that you couldn’t and wouldn’t settle for anything but the best. Most days, he would praise you for your tenacity, admiring how set you were on completing your goals. But today, he’s angry. You’d go as far as avoiding eating to finish studying? How far were you going to go before you fizzle out? 

He places a hand in your hair, brushing the flyaways behind your ears. The thought scares him. That you might not be as loud, lively, or happy after everything you were putting on your plate. Your ambition, your drive, your love was what he admired about you. The thought that it could be what made him lose you scared him. You move in your sleep, burying your face deeper into his chest, the thought plaguing his mind.

 - 

You wake up after a few hours to find yourself tangled in Megumi’s arms. He has his arms wrapped around you, his chin resting against the top of yours. When did Megumi come over? Why is he sleeping in your bed with you? 

You feel him tense at the contact, stirring awake at your movement. His eyes flutter open, peering down into yours. You slide off him, sitting up to throw a hoodie over your t-shirt. You suddenly feel exposed, like Megumi had seen too much of you. 

He sits up, turning to face you. 

“Hi Megs. When did you come over?” 

“A few hours ago. I waited for you for two hours at the Golden Lantern and came over when you didn’t come. I found you asleep, face first in your Biochemistry textbook.” 

You wince, embarrassed that you forgot about dinner with Megumi and that he found you slumped over your textbook. He looks over, an angry look pasted on his face. 

“I’m really sorry for forgetting. I’ll make sure I’m on time to dinner next week.” you whisper. 

For a reason completely lost to you, this pisses him off even more. 

“You think I’m mad about the stupid dinner?” he asks, glaring at you. 

He jumps off your bed and stalks out of your room. You follow, watching him rummage through your kitchen cabinets. He pulls out two plates, piling food from the Golden Lantern onto the plate. He shoves the plate in front of you, glaring daggers while he does it. 

“Eat the food. Now.” 

“Okay, Megs. Why are you upset with me?.” you say, sliding the plate closer to you. 

“You have your head up your ass.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Six cans of Celcius and a protein bar?” 

“It was the closest thing I could find. I didn’t have time to prepare meals this week.” 

“Okay? So you could have asked me? Or ordered takeout? Nobara lives in the same damn room as you and Yuuji is down the hall.” 

“Okay, sorry Megs. It just seemed like too much trouble at the time.” 

He glares, pushing more rice and noodles onto your plate. The food is basically overflowing at this point and you narrow your eyes at the gesture. He glares back and your protests die in your throat. You know when to pick your battles. 

“How do you expect yourself to do good if you’re crumbling at the seams?” 

You look up, his green eyes boring into yours.

“I always manage just fine. It’s none of your business.” you grumble in response, the words dying in your throat. 

“Manage just fine? Your bloodstream is probably seventy percent caffeine, your sleeping schedule shit, and your hair is turning gray. Managing just fine are you?” 

You look down at your plate, the stack of food left untouched. The words sting, all of them true. You were far away from what you wanted to be, trying so hard to essentially no avail. You were bursting at the seams and everyone could see it. You were failing them. You feel the tears stinging in your eyes, falling onto the countertop. 

You cover your hands with your eyes, willing the crying to stop. You push down so hard you see stars, your eyelids burning under your hands. You try to even your breaths, try to calm down but you can’t. The cries die in your throat, pouring out of you with no end in sight. 

You feel Megumi behind you, his arms crushing you in a hug. His head rests on top of yours and you feel him sigh in his chest. The two of you stand that way for a while, you sobbing against his hold. 

He spins you around, his hands resting on your shoulders. 

“You scare me when you do this.” 

“Hm?” 

“You stop eating, stop sleeping. You don’t wave at strangers and don’t point at flowers when we walk to class. Yuji makes a stupid dad joke and you don’t even look up from your book. Nobara brings you back mochi and you don’t touch it because you’re so focused on your homework. You forget to say good morning to the barista and you forget to do your ‘lotion potion’ skincare routine at night. You don’t even smile at me.” 

You look down, pressing the top of your head against his chest. You’re ruining this. You’re failing him too. 

“Just, stop running away from me. Let me walk with you.” 

You look up, his green eyes boring into yours. You wrap your hands around his neck, crying into the side of his shoulder. You feel him rubbing small circles into your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. The two of you stand there for what feels like hours, his touch grounding you back home. 

-

You wrap your wet hair into a towel and dress yourself in fresh pajamas after taking a shower. Megumi had convinced you to take a break for the night - the two of you were going to watch movies and go to bed. Does that mean he would stay? 

As you open the door, you find Megumi folding clothes on your neatly made bed. The smell of laundry is overwhelming, the clothes and sheets fresh from the dryer. 

You nearly cry at the thought. He did your damn laundry while you were taking a shower. You don’t deserve him. You turn back to the mirror, staring at the lotions and serums on your counter. If Megumi missed your ‘lotion potion’ skin care routine - a term you coined which he claimed to hate - then you could at least do that. 

You start by taking the serums, massaging them all into the skin around your face and neck. The sensation is soothing, the serums cold against your puffy skin. As you continue your skincare routine, you’re unsure when Megumi has joined you in the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe to watch you. You look up, startled by the sight of him. 

“I’m doing my ‘lotion potion’ skincare routine. Are you happy now?” you ask, sarcasm dripping from your voice. 

He walks up, slinging his arm around your waist. You see a smile spread across his face, reaching his eyes. 

“Yes. That’s my girl.” 

You feel your cheeks heat at his words, your heart thumping in your chest. You continue with your routine, hands shaking at his presence, with Megumi leaning against the counter watching you. When you finish, he leads you to your bed, climbing under the covers with you before clicking the lights off. Your eyes wander to your textbook, sitting a few feet away from you. 

The thoughts flood your mind - you can’t remember what starts the Krebs Cycle. Oh my god, what starts the Krebs cycle? The thought drowns you in panic, the time you spent for the past few hours suddenly feeling like a waste. As you move to reach for the textbook, you feel Megumi’s arm crawl around your body, pulling you against him. 

“I just want to check one thing. It’ll be quick.” 

He moves closer to your face, pressing a soft kiss against the side of your cheek. You shock at the contact, Megumi not striking you as the affectionate type. You had onl hugged him twice before today and here he was sleeping in your bed, for the second time, pressing soft kisses to your cheeks. 

“No. The book will still be there tomorrow. Just go to sleep, please.”  

You hear the last sentence straining in his throat, his words from earlier ring in your ears. You give in, moving closer into his arms. You fall asleep, the sound of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep. 

You have a dream Megumi tells you he loves you but you’re unsure where the idea came from all together. When you tell Nobara the next day, she suggests that maybe he said it to you while you were sleeping. You smack her for saying something so stupid, but the thought never leaves your mind. It did sound rather loud, so clear it had to be real. 

He doesn’t deny that fact when you ask him. 

[genderkoolaid]

Hi I'm ND and I was wondering about your experiences with religious beliefs? I saw your post and it definitely resonated with the frustration I had engaging in spiritual communities because people are never Normal about it. I guess I'm also wondering how to navigate with discernment regarding spiritualism as someone with intrusive thoughts and other issues, if you feel like you're able to shed some light with your personal experiences of course. Have a good day!! ☀️

So I personally deal with intrusive thoughts, paranoia and delusions, while also being deeply religious & having mystic experience, which as you can imagine can be very stressful! its hard talking to people about that because its so easy for people to just go "oh you're psychotic so you can't be trusted on your experiences."

when it comes to psychotic stuff: for me the #1 thing i keep in mind when it comes to this is learning to not focus on whether a certain experience is "real," but rather if it is helpful. this is one of the things thats been repeated to me many times & its been very helpful keeping in mind. trying to prove whether or not something spiritual is "real" is an absolute mess for the sanest of people (mostly because i think the conflation of spirituality and science as like. opposing forces has done so much damage to how we think about it but anyways). but something solid you can ponder is how a certain belief or practice helps or hurts you. instead of "is x real or am i crazy," ask "how does x affect me? does it make me feel more equipped to deal with life? does it inspire me to connect with others and with myself? is it causing me mental or physical stress/harm? is it causing others harm?" these focus you more on things you can identify immediately. you can also ofc combine this with things like reality checks & secular ways of coping with delusions/paranoia/hallucinations.

as a general rule it's good to take your time with any sort of spiritual/mystical experience and think through it, what you felt, possible causes (spiritual and secular), and what you might do because of it. don't feel the need to rush into anything, it's not a sign of failure to be thorough and contemplative and open to many possible explanations.

additionally, we have this idea in our minds that if something has a spiritual origin it can't have a physical explanation, which is silly to me. even if there is a biochemical explanation for something, that doesn't mean its not a spiritual experience; we are fleshy creatures. there's no reason why our spirituality can't be fleshy too. if someone has hallucinations because of brainweirdness, that doesn't mean they can't ascribe spiritual meaning to them; and it also doesn't mean they have to ascribe spiritual meaning to every hallucination. something something why must our humanity be antithetical to god-or-what-have-you.

on intrusive thoughts: i don't have moral ocd, although i used to have religious compulsions. i don't really anymore because my beliefs/experiences have re-affirmed many times that god-or-what-have-you is not going to get mad at me for not doing x thing Good Enough, and the "does it hurt or help" rubric also helps me remember that the things that help me feel good and healthy are what is best for me spiritually. if you feel scared and stressed and self-hating constantly, that isn't going to make you a better devotee/follower/practitioner, its just going to tear you apart until you can't function.

i saw a post a while ago talking about prayer/meditation when you have ADHD & get distracted by thoughts easily, and i think its helpful for that + disruptive intrusive thoughts: instead of trying to stop thinking them, you can just incorporate them. if you can't stop thinking about a hyperfixation, you can meditate on what interests you and why. if intrusive thoughts won't leave, you can vent about that to god-or-what-have-you.

the thing about mainstream religion/spirituality is that it is by and large made by sane neurotypical people, for them. ND/mad people are either demonized or, sometimes mythologized, but we are always being viewed as outsiders. we haven't been allowed to have spiritual autonomy and create our own intepretations and practices that match our unique ways of thinking and perceiving the world. once you realize this you have to start pointing out where a practice fails you and then take it into your own hands- this is why i have found religion so helpful for me, because i have found/made interpretations that affirm me. if you follow a sacred text, you can reject literalism & that it perfectly reflects the actual words of the divine. you can reject the mainstream interpretations that cater to racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia/etc. and find new ones or make your own. you can adapt rituals to your needs or make entirely new ones. and once again find other people who are also brainweird and spiritual and talk with them about what they do & believe. god is crazy too etc etc

[studentbyday]

oops! i did it again. lessons from this school year...

Hey, you remember that post I made about my winter term priorities? HAHAHAHAHahaha ha ha. That plan totally went to shit, but it's all part of the journey, right? 😅 (Tbh, it's quite difficult to make a conscious effort to change yourself when the default response to being and feeling busy is to go on autopilot -> all the unconscious habits, even if unhealthy, take control, and bc it's unconscious, you don't realize it until it gets quite bad! anyway! no more! my future plans make it so this will be impossible to do while still retaining some sense of sanity. so to prep, we're gonna slowly implement little changes so hopefully it's not so overwhelming that i give up)

🧘🏻‍♀️ comparing mindsets in fall and winter term

Fall term was not that bad bc I had 2 STEM subjects I really really loved and was interested in (biochem and mol bio 💕), and despite their difficulty, that love and interest and the feeling that "I am in the right field for me" kept me positive. There were times I thought I would feel burnout symptoms if I wasn't careful, but I really think that positivity protected me from the worst of it.

Winter term, however...I had one favorite subject: moral philosophy, which led to me wistfully dreaming about an AU in which I double majored in philosophy and piano performance, lol. After the highs of biochem and mol bio and the natural ease with which the bits of info flowed together in those subjects, I did not enjoy pharmacology or the 2nd half of psyc as much -> loss of interest -> negativity and feeling like I'm in the wrong field bc how dare I not like pharmacology (or psychology) as much as the other life science-y subjects when it's really so important for us to survive and thrive! 😅 I mean, there were times I could get that spark from pharmacology or psyc, but it wasn't often enough or intense enough to keep me consistently inspired throughout the semester. The feeling of "maybe I don't have what it takes and I'm in the wrong field" was compounded by the re-realization that there's sm to know of bioinformatics and I struggle to know any of it! Persevering is important, but it's harder to persevere with a negative mindset.

😤 what went wrong this school year and what i learned from it

I still struggle with perfectionism (and bc of it, procrastination). While it might not be as bad as it was in high school, I still spent too long on assignments that weren't worth much and during finals season, was so scared of getting less than 90% just to keep up my A+ streak. Like, I'm pretty sure no one who cares to know your GPA cares about whether you have an A+ streak or not. I have too high a threshold for what is a "disappointing" grade. I also struggle with deep regret about how I haven't mastered everything they throw at us in each course... definitely an unrealistic expectation, especially as the proportion of new info to absorb increases with each course. I did what I could using what I knew to do, so it is what it is. I may find ways to make improvements and learn more, but I won't beat myself up for not having known to do those things in the past.

Did not use effective study methods. Since first year, my problem has been keeping up with the readings and my solution has been to just use typed outline notes. It worked for the first few years when it was mostly review from previous courses with a few new concepts in between. But as I progress through my degree, the proportion of completely new info is increasing. This notetaking method won't work anymore bc it just causes cognitive overload, especially during exam season (when I've mostly forgotten the details of everything that isn't smth I've already known for years). E.g. for pharmacology, I got so bogged down by the details of all the drug classes that I didn't see the big picture and so didn't organize the info according to it. This made it hard to see patterns and better chunk the info. I was so stressed during finals season bc of this (and the sheer amount of notes that I had to read for psyc 😭). What makes it feel like even more of a problem is that the cognitive overload problem from my notetaking method has been a thing for all other uni courses thus far, it's just that pharmacology was the first time I needed to create a stronger connecting thread between the otherwise disparate pieces of info (drug classes). In all other courses, that thread was part of the nature of the topic being studied so I eventually understood it as I kept going and mentally re-organized it in my brain...but even then it was hodge-podge and so my depth of mastery was and is so flimsy, and every semester I leave feeling drained and like I wasted the opportunity to maximize my learning. (How dramatic I get about this is also probably tied to my perfectionism, but I still think it would greatly benefit future me to change my notetaking style.)

🎓 advice for future me

Look at the academic calendar, specifically the faculty course descriptions. Look at how many hours they say you should expect to spend on each activity in the course. Try to use those learning hours as a guide for your schedule so that you don't spend too long on an item that isn't worth much. If there isn't such a breakdown, assume one based on whatever they give you or other courses and adjust from there.

Be a more efficient reader by skimming the text first so you can map the flow of info in a way that best creates ease of understanding/synthesis/memory (e.g. via an outline, tree diagram, flowchart, mind map, or simple drawings - and noticing when a list/outline will NOT be helpful bc it'll just be too overwhelming and not easy to compare/contrast info and see patterns). I knowww you've survived thus far without doing it this way and done well, BUT with this many courses, the increasing complexity of each subject, and the overload of info in each, you WILL need to do this to make quicker work of the readings, save you sooo much stress during exam seasons, and improve how much you learn while in school which is the real goal you've wanted to achieve all this time. Don't repeat the mistake you made in pharmacology. And it really doesn't have to be aesthetic and you definitely should NOT get caught up with it if you really wanna learn. You could just use one color for everything and a highlighter and just basic shapes/lines - that alone can be way more effective than boring paragraphs/lists or a colorful, overly complex diagram that'll just distract you from the main point.

Create a realistic daily routine (wake-up and sleep times, start and end times for schoolwork) and be strict about following it. Set your non-negotiables for personal goals to keep up with alongside your schoolwork bc academics aren't everything. Remember how you regretted not devoting more time to extra-curriculars and other skills in high school which would've rounded you out as a person. You can try theming the parts of the day so that you don't have to think about what task you should do first after study breaks and keep up the momentum (e.g. mornings for readings and notes, afternoons for active recall/homework). Then you can live the rest of the day after school as structured or unstructured as you wish. If this strategy doesn't work for you, you don't have to use it.

Take advantage of interleaving so you don't get bored. Whether by following the theming strategy or just switching subjects every hour, idc if you aren't done yet, you better switch bc the second consecutive hour of the same thing is never as effective as the first.

[daetko]

mutual headcanons . . .

talia note ; you guys … i wrote this at 4am so this is 100% half yapping but my mutuals on twt did this for me and i was like. omg . tumblr oomfs ur next. also math is kicking my ass so im bringing up multiplication hcs for everyone

@miyamoratsumuu — top of the class & class pres/have some major rule in school. you probably have a really cute smile like the one where ur lips don’t shut fully there’s like space that shows ur teeth a lil & i hc u have chest length hair too ,, you REALLY love youtube video essays probably, lego enjoyer & u 101% like/d kpop, i can see u liking nct and cravity so vividly,,, you also carry chapstick around with you everywhere though you don’t need it but u always end up finishing it somerhow. you’re OKAY at multiplication like you’re not the best but 100% not the worst. Biochem have to be ur favorite subjects (after art) i refuse to believe otherwise. u LOVE white shirts, u dress so nice and have those shirts w the little girl drawings on them, u also are somehow SOMEHOW the type of kid to fake cough infront of a smoking stranger to make them feel bad. squint & you’ll see the vision i’m implying n you 100% have perspective glasses ur supposed to wear but u never wear them, & lastly you have a tiktok account with you lip syncing

@rueclfer — ouhhhh rue i hc ur such a smartass at school like no one expects it but u get SUCH GREAT grades holy shit also ur a SMOKER. Oomf smokes (possibly weed and very rarely cigs) smoker. or u own atleast two dispos trust i know. also you really liked the tooth fairy as a kid and somehow she disappointed you and that’s where ur villain arc started . Atleast 3 dead pet fishes. u also really like zootopia. also probably tried getting into kpop at some point and failed miserably… you are willing to defend cheese sandwiches with your life too. human multiplication machine somehow, or really bad at it. you owe atleast 2 pairs of jorts & those baggy brown/black colored overly comfy oversized jackets that have these little doodles / stars on them & wire headphones, atleast 2 ear piercings and a septum , your screen time is 50% pinterest or twittwe

@loveriotss — lighting mcqueen defender ( i think u probably wanted the car bed / had it at some point) & car enjoyer … you’d love f1 . you watch sam and colby religiously (same) and u LOVEEEE old katy perry songs. u had a marshmallow / selena gomez phase in middle school & you used to have braces in elementary/middle school. you’re either ginger or a really light brown haired person, if u say black or dark brown i will actually be surprised. your aura color is 100% green with a hint of purple (i don’t know much about this but u just give that vibe) you play sims 4 too and really REALLY enjoy lasagna & multiplication (though you’re not the best at it). you’re also like REALLY scared of sneaking your phone in to school (let’s say it’s not allowed) and you were brave enough to do that for once and boom it’s like a cr4ck addiction you can’t stop bringing it to school w u until one day u get caught and they call your mum to school ,,, also u either violate the dress code or dress modestly no inbetween— and did i mention u have SO MANY racer jackets holy shit even if it’s those basic bershka ones

@poetlus / @lunatiqez — mina ashido and bokuto kotaro if they had a fusion of both of their personalities. oomf you LOVE LOOOVEE dresses so much like i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s half ur closet & u also have a bookshelf in your room probably with so many books you haven’t touched since u bought. probably got a scooter for christmas at some point. one of your many pillows on your bed probably has a floral print & your room is BIG LIKE HUGE there’s so much space left despite your huge ass closet. u probably own merch of stuff you USED to like and don’t anymore ,, you also enjoy ramen from restaurants like no tomorrow & you stick ur tongue out at every minor inconvenience (twin ). you also cannot do multiplication, you really hate math but you like to write in the notebook. you’re BLONDE. that’s BLONDE OOMF. or atleast light brunette. you’re like 5”4 too shit maybe 5”3 aswell.. you also LOVE raves and parties & u can fuck up cake like a n expert especially vanilla & red velvet cake . Rip liv you would’ve loved dress to impress

@sepptember — ok so first of all you LOVE shrimp. and i mean LOVE LOVE and you’re okay w other seafood. u also like to add thinly sliced carrot to ramen which is actually goated btw and you’d k1ll someone if a bowl of katsu curry was on the line,, your fav subject is PROBABLY science ,, perhaps geology? maybe? i feel like you have too many stuffed animals and you probably collect those glass drinks lids too, you had a monster energy drink phase & kinned hitoka yachi at some point. you update your letterboxed multiple times a week & you do NOT play about true crime podcasts. bro, please, im begging you to get out your room and see your family. also i think u have a rlly nice room … like it’s either rlly acubi-ish or brown green & some dark colors and veins hanging from the ceiling, both ways aesthetically pleasing to look at !!!! multiplication goat btw

ib this tweet