#and before you say chapter transitions are not foreshadowing

[catofoldstones]

“What is this?” Skahaz demanded. “A bloody glove…”

“…means war,” said the queen.

And the next chapter is Jon. Yeah they’re not going to be lovers sorry.

[physalian]

Pacing your Story (Or, How to Avoid the "Suddenly...!")

Arguably *the* most important lesson all writers need to learn, even for those who don’t give a damn about themes and motifs and a moral soap box: How your story is paced, whether it’s a comic book, a children’s chapter book, a doorstopper, a mini series, a movie, or a full-length season of TV (old school style), pacing is everything.

Pacing determines how long the story *feels* regardless of how long it actually is. It can make a 2 hour movie feel like 90 mins or double the time you’re trapped in your seat.

There’s very little I can say about pacing that hasn’t been said before, but I’m here to condense all that’s out there into a less intimidating mouthful to chew.

So: What is pacing?

Pacing is how a story flows, how quickly or slowly the creator moves through and between scenes, how long they spend on setting, narration, conversation, arguments, internal monologues, fight scenes, journey scenes. It’s also how smoothly tone transitions throughout the story. A fantasy adventure jumping around sporadically between meandering boredom, high-octane combat, humor, grief, and romance is exhausting to read, no matter how much effort you put into your characters.

Anyone who says the following is wrong:

Good pacing is always fast/bad pacing is always slow

Pacing means you are 100% consistent throughout the entire story

It doesn’t matter as much so long as you have a compelling story/characters/lore/etc

Now let me explain why in conveniently numbered points:

1. Pacing is not about consistency, it’s about giving the right amount of time to the right pieces of your story

This is not intuitive and it takes a long time to learn. So let’s look at some examples:

Lord of the Rings: The movies trimmed a *lot* from the books that just weren’t adaptable to screen, namely all the tedious details and quite a bit of the worldbuilding that wasn’t critical to the journey of the Fellowship. That said, with some exceptions, the battles are as long as they need to be, along with every monologue, every battle speech. When Helm’s Deep is raging on, we cut away to Merry and Pippin with the Ents to let ourselves breathe, then dive right back in just before it gets boring.

The Hobbit Trilogy: The exact opposite from LotR, stretching one kids book into 3 massive films, stuffing it full of filler, meandering side quests, pointless exposition, drawing out battles and conflicts to silly extremes, then rushing through the actual desolation of Smaug for… some reason.

Die Hard (cause it’s the Holidays y’all!): The actiony-est of action movies with lots of fisticuffs and guns and explosions still leaves time for our hero to breathe, lick his wounds, and build a relationship with the cop on the ground. We constantly cut between the hero and the villains, all sharing the same radio frequency, constantly antsy about what they know and when they’ll find out the rest, and when they’ll discover the hero’s kryptonite.

2. Make every scene you write do at least two things at once

This is also tricky. Making every scene pull double duty should be left to after you’ve written the first draft, otherwise you’ll never write that first draft. Pulling double duty means that if you’re giving exposition, the scene should also reveal something about the character saying it. If you absolutely must write the boring trip from A to B, give some foreshadowing, some thoughtful insight from one of your characters, a little anecdote along the way.

Develop at least two of the following:

The plot

The backstory

The romance/friendships

The lore

The exposition

The setting

The goals of the cast

Doing this extremely well means your readers won’t have any idea you’re doing it until they go back and read it again. If you have two characters sitting and talking exposition at a table, and then those same two characters doing some important task with filler dialogue to break up the narrative… try combining those two scenes and see what happens.

**This is going to be incredibly difficult if you struggle with making your stories longer. I do not. I constantly need to compress my stories. **

3. Not every scene needs to be crucial to the plot, but every scene must say something

I distinguish plot from story like a square vs a rectangle. Plot is just a piece of the tale you want to tell, and some scenes exist just to be funny, or romantic, or mysterious, plot be damned.

What if you’re writing a character study with very little plot? How do you make sure your story isn’t too slow if 60% of the narrative is introspection?

Avoid repeating information the audience already has, unless a reminder is crucial to understanding the scene

This isn’t 1860 anymore. Every detail must serve a purpose. Keep character and setting descriptions down to absolute need-to-know and spread it out like icing on a cake – enough to coat, but not give you a mouthful of whipped sugar and zero cake.

Avoid describing generic daily routines, unless the existence of said routine is out of ordinary for the character, or will be rudely interrupted by chaos. No one cares about them brushing their teeth and doing their hair.

Make sure your characters move, but not too much. E.g. two characters sitting and talking – do humans just stare at each other with their arms lifeless and bodies utterly motionless during conversation? No? Then neither should your characters. Make them gesture, wave, frown, laugh, cross their legs, their arms, shift around to get comfortable, pound the table, roll their eyes, point, shrug, touch their face, their hair, wring their hands, pick at their nails, yawn, stretch, pout, sneer, smirk, click their tongue, clear their throat, sniff/sniffle, tap their fingers/drum, bounce their feet, doodle, fiddle with buttons or jewelry, scratch an itch, touch their weapons/gadgets/phones, check the time, get up and sit back down, move from chair to table top – the list goes on. Bonus points if these are tics that serve to develop your character, like a nervous fiddler, or if one moves a lot and the other doesn’t – what does that say about the both of them? This is where “show don’t tell” really comes into play.

4. Your entire work should not be paced exactly the same

Just like a paragraph should not be filled with sentences of all the same length and syntax. Some beats deserve more or less time than others. Unfortunately, this is unique to every single story and there is no one size fits all.

General guidelines are as follows:

Action scenes should have short paragraphs and lots of movement. Cut all setting details and descriptors, internal monologues, and the like, unless they service the scene.

Journey/travel scenes must pull double or even triple duty. There’s a reason very few movies are marketed as “single take” and those that are don’t waste time on stuff that doesn’t matter. See 1917.

Romantic scenes are entirely up to you. Make it a thousand words, make it ten thousand, but you must advance either the romantic tension, actual movement of the characters, conversation, or intimacy of the relationship.

Don’t let your conversations run wild. If they start to veer off course, stop, boil it down to its essentials, and cut the rest.

When transitioning between slow to faster pacing and back again, it’s also not one size fits all. Maybe it being jarring is the point – it’s as sudden for the characters as it is for the reader. With that said, try to keep the “suddenly”s to a minimum.

5. Pacing and tone go hand in hand

This means that, generally speaking, the tone of your scene changes with the speed of the narrative. As stated above, a jarring tonal shift usually brings with it a jarring pacing shift.

A character might get in a car crash while speeding away from an abusive relationship. A character who thinks they’re safe from a pursuer might be rudely and terrifyingly proven wrong. An exhausting chase might finally relent when sanctuary is found. A quiet dinner might quickly turn romantic with a look, or confession. Someone casually cleaning up might discover evidence of a lie, a theft, an intruder and begin to panic.

--

Whatever the case may be, a narrative that is all action all the time suffers from lack of meaningful character moments. A narrative that meanders through the character drama often forgets there is a plot they’re supposed to be following.

[novlr]

How can I end a chapter without it being too abrupt?

Writing a novel is like any craft. Each element contributes to the whole piece, and each chapter forms a part of your narrative with its own arc. However, creating a seamless transition between chapters can be challenging for even the best writers. The end of a chapter needs to be satisfying, yet also tantalizing to keep readers flipping the page. So, how do you end a chapter without being too abrupt?

End with a cliffhanger

Ending a chapter with an unexpected twist, a sudden revelation, or an unresolved situation that leaves readers hanging in suspense is the essence of a good cliffhanger. The key to a successful cliffhanger is to write it in a way that feels organic to your story. A well-crafted cliffhanger triggers curiosity, keeps the narrative tension high, and ensures that your readers remain invested and eager to read on.

Introduce the next point of action

Introducing the next point of action is a powerful way to maintain the pace of your story and end a chapter. It’s as simple as revealing a new character, event, or conflict that will take centre stage in the forthcoming chapter. For example, your character could receive a mysterious letter, stumble upon a secret door, or meet a stranger with riveting news. This gives your readers a clear idea about the next focus but keeps them intrigued to learn more.

Pose a question

Posing a question is a simple way to end a chapter that feels natural. The question could be literal or metaphorical. It could be a question in a character’s mind or a question about the events unfolding in the story. For instance, your character might wonder, “Who was the mysterious stranger?” or “What’s behind that secret door?” This method leaves your readers curious, sparking their imagination as they try to guess the answer. Remember, a good question doesn’t just ask — it hints at a deeper story.

Develop your characters

Concluding a chapter with character development can provide depth to your story and make your readers feel more connected to them. A character might go through a significant change or realisation. For example, your protagonist could realize they’ve been lied to their entire life, or a side character could decide to leave their past behind and start fresh. These kinds of character moments make your readers more invested in their journey.

Use Foreshadowing

Foreshadowing is a narrative device that involves giving hints about what will happen next in the story. You can do this subtly by dropping minor details that hint at future events. For example, you might describe a looming storm cloud on the horizon, foreshadowing a coming conflict or problem. Alternatively, you might make a direct statement about future events. For instance, a character might say something like, “I have a bad feeling about this.” But remember, don’t give away too much. Keeping some level of mystery is important to maintain the reader’s interest.

Reveal something

A revelation at the end of a chapter can make your readers more eager to keep reading. It could involve unveiling a new piece of information about a character, story arc, or mystery that shifts the reader’s perspective. For example, a truth about a character’s past could be revealed, or the discovery of a hidden key could introduce a new mystery. Revealing something important can cause a dramatic turn in your story and can make your readers excited to find out what happens next.

Emotional closure

If you’ve had a lot of fast-paced action, then sometimes you need to give your readers a moment to breathe by letting your characters reflect on their feelings. For instance, you might end a chapter with a character solving an issue, realizing an important truth, or simply having a moment of introspection. This allows readers to connect with them emotionally, to understand their feelings, and to see their growth. Emotional closure provides a moment of calm before your readers dive into the next chapter.

Develop your theme or subtext

Developing your story’s theme or subtext at the end of a chapter might involve reinforcing the central theme of your story or introducing a new idea that adds another layer of depth. For instance, if your story is about the struggle for freedom, you could end a chapter with a character making a decision that signifies their pursuit of liberty. This not only helps readers understand the broader context and message of your story but also leaves them pondering these ideas as they move on to the next chapter.

[olenvasynyt]

In the Azriel bonus chapter, Az leaves Rhys after their little fight and he says this: 

“He'd been so vigilant about keeping away from Elain as much as possible, and had stayed up here to avoid her, and tonight ... tonight had proved he'd been right to do so.”

And then you know what happens?  When Az keeps away from Elain, and he goes to the training pit, he stumbles upon Gwyn.

I think so many things point to Gwynriel in this bonus chapter.  The shadows reactions to her are something people often bring up to support Gwynriel.  They are curious, they dance to her breath.

And I can talk more about how the shadows react, all of the similarities Gwyn and Az have with each other ( made a post about that already, link here!), the foreshadowing people like to bring up, the retconning SJM has done for Gwyn, etc.  But I feel like I don’t even need to mention any of those tidbits even though I think they are important.  

All I need to know is the bonus chapter (which is usually used to tell the reader what will happen in the upcoming book) starts with Elain, and ends with Gwyn.

We can also analyze how the chapter is set up, the transition from Elain to Gwyn, the stark contrast between the two interactions and the feelings Az experiences, and we can compare a few sentences that are alike to understand what SJM might be trying to do. So I want to simplify what happens and focus on Az’s feelings throughout the BC.

It starts with him restless and filled with lust and desperation.  There is a constant looming feeling of self-harm almost because Az doesn’t take care of himself.

He found himself leaving the room. Entering the foyer, and he stumbles upon Elain. During his time with Elain, we get this lust, self-hatred, guilt, desperation.  He doesn't want to taint Elain with his presence. He constantly says this is wrong, it’s a mistake.  

He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her.

Wrong—it was so wrong.

And then Rhys interrupts and we see anger and spitefulness from Az.  He is defensive, he is in denial.  

"So you will leave Elain alone. If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her." Azriel snarled softly.  "Snarl all you want." Rhys leaned back in his chair. "But if I see you panting after her again, I'll make you regret it."  Rhys had rarely threatened punishment or pulled rank. It stunned Azriel enough that it knocked him from his rage.

And when he leaves, he goes back to this kind of self-harm because he goes and uses cold to numb his feelings.  

Azriel tucked in his wings and left without another word, stalking through the house and onto the front lawn to sit in the frigid starlight. To let the frost in his veins match the air around him. Until he felt nothing. Was again nothing at all.

He felt nothing.  Was nothing again at all.  A way of self-harm, and it brings out his self-hatred that we saw before.  We continue to get these feelings of disappointment and regret when he says that he was right in avoiding Elain, and we see him have feelings of temptation, rage, frustration, and writhing need.  And he goes to work off these feelings.

He aimed for the training pit, giving in to the need to work of the temptation, the rage and frustration and writhing need.   He found it already occupied. His shadows had not warned him.

And then we get to Gwyn.  We see his interactions with her and how he has a bit of empathy and maybe pity, but also amusement—he can’t help his soft chuckle. He also opens up to her and drops a very important personal bit of information, something Azriel almost never does.  

"Do you, though?" she pressed. "Sing?" Azriel couldn't help his soft chuckle. "Yes."

And we get him working off his temptation and rage and frustration but in a way he didn’t expect.  He was planning on doing it alone and probably in the same sort of way we see with how he sat in the cold by himself: he uses pain to dull his feelings.  But instead of doing this, we see him help Gwyn with her training.  And we see a change in his emotions: his shadows, aka his inner voice, end up calming.  The restlessness in him eases.  He feels content and calm around Gwyn, even after what happened with Elain and Rhys.

Ariel dipped his head in a sketch of a bow, something restless settling in him. Even his shadows had calmed. As if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch.

I truly don’t understand how people take this as Gwyn manipulating Az with her “lightsinger” abilities.  Because he starts with so many negative emotions, and walks out calm.  The restlessness in him eased.  That’s nothing nefarious, it’s a good thing!  So many sentences when he’s teaching Gwyn show that this is a good thing.  

So we see this switch in his emotions.  But let’s also talk about the several sentences that contrast with each other in the bonus chapter.  

We have a sentence that contrasts with the one I brought up before of him flying and making himself so cold he gets numb so he doesn’t feel anything.

Azriel tucked in his wings and left without another word, stalking through the house and onto the front lawn to sit in the frigid starlight. To let the frost in his veins match the air around him. Until he felt nothing. Was again nothing at all.

"Again," he ordered, rubbing his hands against the cold, grateful for its bracing bite and the distraction of this impromptu lesson.

When he left Rhys, he was nothing, and the cold made him feel nothing.  But during this lesson, he’s still cold but he’s a teacher to Gwyn.  He is something.  He has a healthier way of coping with his feelings when he’s with Gwyn.

He also says this to Gwyn:

“Happy Solstice," Azriel said before aiming for the archway into the House. "Don't stay out too much longer. You'll freeze."

This is adorable and ironic and sweet and ugh...such a good little nod to the details SJM brought up before.

When Azriel leaves the training pit, we get another sentence that uses “he found himself” in this bonus chapter:

Before it was, “He found himself leaving the room. Entering the foyer.” And at the end of the BC we get, “Instead, he found himself at the library beneath the House of Wind, standing before Clotho as the clock chimed seven in the evening.”

SJM is using identical phrases to kind of draw a circle in Az’s journey throughout this bonus chapter.

 He finds himself at the library, and the chapter ends with Az thinking of Gwyn smiling and something sparks in his chest…it brings a smile to his own face.

She deserves something as beautiful as this. I thank you for the joy it shall bring to her.  Something sparked in Ariel's chest, but he only nodded his thanks and left. He could picture it, though, as he ascended the stairs back to the House proper. How Gwyn's teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace. For whatever reason . .. he could see it. But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

And that last sentence: a thing of secret lovely beauty…that was used before when describing the necklace that he gifted to Elain but she ended up returning.

The golden necklace seemed ordinary- its chain unremarkable, the amulet tiny enough that it could be dismissed as an everyday charm. It was a small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass, designed so that when held to the light, the true depth of the colors would become visible. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

The way this chapter flows, the way we compare these moments of him with Elain and him with Gwyn; the way we see how his emotions change…t’s so fucking important.  And I truly feel like this bonus chapter is just screaming to us that E/riel is done and Gwynriel is endgame.  

The chapter starts with Elain and ends with Gwyn.

(I did a three part series of my thoughts and analysis of the Azriel bonus chapter and this post is a summary of part 3! Shameless link for some shameless promo lmao)

[canmom]

reading Herbert Mason's translation of the Epic of Gilgamesh, as you do!

I went with Mason's translation after I saw it quoted here and there and seemed pretty solidly written - but it isn't precisely right to call it a translation, more a retelling of the story as Mason understands it. so it's not a line by line translation, and some major parts of it are presumably interpolations or paraphrases.

i knew the broad outline of the story but it's fascinating to put it in context, and discover parts of the story i hadn't heard about. for example, i didn't realise the concept of droit du seigneur was part of this story - I'd thought that was basically a goofy myth about the medieval period, but here in the oldest surviving written story, it's just a thing the mythological king Gilgamesh does. though the exact translation seems a little contentious - Mason writes:

As king, Gilgamesh was a tyrant to his people.

He demanded, from an old birthright,

The privilege of sleeping with their brides

Before the husbands were permitted

But Wikipedia quotes a different translation by Stephen Mitchell which says:

He is king, he does whatever he wants... takes the girl from her mother and uses her, the warrior's daughter, the young man's bride.

The general thrust is similar in both cases, but the details of the custom are different. I don't have Mitchell's translation so I can't find how he describes the moment Enkidu arrives to interfere with Gilgamesh doing one of these kingly rapes (like let's not beat around the bush here, it's a different social context and whatever but you can't possibly say no to the demigod king).

Moving on...

Viewed with modern eyes, the transition between the first chapter and the second is kind of abrupt. We've got this great establishing story for Gilgamesh and Enkidu having a rather homoerotic fight and becoming best bros, but then we abruptly skip forward to Gilgamesh declaring that they're going to go fight a monster called Humbaba, and Enkidu is all like, no, that guy is way too high level, you'll die! Modern writing advice would hold that you'd want to spend some time building up Gilgamesh and Enkidu's relationship 'on screen' here, and perhaps foreshadow the existence of Humbaba a bit sooner to build up the threat a bit - but then I'm not carving this into stone tablets, I can afford to be a little bit roundabout, and who knows what's been lost? (scholars of the Epic probably have some idea lol)

The word used for Gilgamesh and Enkidu's relationship is 'friend'. This feels like it's probably a bit of a lossy translation to me - would lover/boyfriend be projecting too much? I obviously don't know the nuances of Sumerian that well, so maybe this is the best available word, but their relationship has a lot of physicality and a lot of affection.

The woman who goes to Enkidu in the wild and has a bunch of sex until he becomes civilised is described here as a 'prostitute'. My understanding was that she belongs to a religious role here, harimtu, that's usually translated as 'sacred prostitution' but apparently this identity is contested, and also she has a name, Shamhat? I don't know why Mason doesn't use her name. Shamhat has a pretty big role in changing Enkidu and convincing him to come meet Gilgamesh, but her own motivation isn't really explored.

Still, I don't want to come off as only complaining. Whether they originate in the Epic or with Mason, I'm enjoying a lot of the poetic turns of phrase in this version - the style is just the right level of minimal - simple appropriate words, but effective for that. Mason writes in verse, but doesn't rhyme - I'm not really familiar enough with meter to say more than that. There are a lot of fairly short, declarative sentences, mixed up with an occasional much longer metaphor across multiple lines. I think you could fairly easily delete the line breaks and just have prose, but having them makes it flow in an interesting way, like waves? Poetry is not my bailiwick so I'm probably describing some fairly basic facets of the medium, but it's interesting to observe.

I'll add more when I've read a bit more, I'll be in this train a while...

[super-paper]

What was the point of Chapter 419 with AFO giving Tomura decay and being involved in his life since he was born, besides generating AFO is behind everything and Kotaro gay affair memes?

I still believe Hori could have pulled this off if he hadn't veered completely off course after 419 because a LOT of Tenko's (and AFO's) arc revolves around the concepts of "identity" and fantasy vs reality (Like, just scratching the surface: AFO attempting to escape from his reality through fantasy, Tenko angrily attempting to pull away the curtain of fantasy and expose the cruel reality of their world. AFO using "reality" as his source of power by claiming its victims for himself, Tenko using "fantasy" as his power by offering those same victims a dream and the promise of an "escape" from their painful reality. "Shigaraki Tomura" as the fictional construct that both AFO and Tenko are attempting to insert themselves into, for both different and similar reasons-- Tenko because he decides to embrace the fact that he killed his family and uses it as evidence that he was "born evil" and "wanted them to die" as a way of explaining his existence. AFO because he wants to escape from the reality that he murdered his brother, while also escaping from the reality of his origin as a helpless infant who no one would look at no matter how much he cried. Blah blah blah etc etc when I say u have to read AFO and Tenko's arcs as a set instead of getting angry at AFO for "inserting himself into Tenko's story," I really do mean it lmao).

Like, MVA aside, Chapter 115 in particular set the tone for Act 2 and HEAVILY foreshadowed what Tenko's arc would end up being about:

(lmao ya'll there is so much evidence in Act 2 that points to the idea that Hori really did want to write a deconstruction of your typical hero story. like, the framing of this panel with Jin angrily turning the TV off when they start talking about "focusing on the positives"????😭I get so sad when I think about the mha we coulda had)

(Side note: Jin was just so so so good as both a character and as a device meant to introduce the reader to MHA's concepts of identity + how a "hero/villain" identities are frequently used as crutches to stop a person from breaking apart under the weight of their trauma

..... which of course makes the fact that Hori rendered his death pointless in the end all the more upsetting :/)

(Pictured: AFO and Tenko fighting over the role of Shigaraki Tomura)

(this scene where Jin talks about the importance of knowing "who u really are" immediately transitions to a scene with AFO, btw. lmao)

((As an aside: 115 is another shining example of how Hori is definitely a competent writer, bc it manages to set up pretty much the entirety of Act 2 + its themes up in just 15-17 pages-- which is all the more reason why the extremely poor quality of MHA's conclusion is so hard to swallow. I definitely don't believe in blaming the editors/publishers alone for how things turned out, but all the same, I do think there was some executive meddling from behind the scenes bc of how rushed and disjointed the epilogue ended up being. It's not the quality we're used to, not by a long shot, and you can tell as much by reading pretty much any chapter before 423.)) /tangent over

ANYWAY. To me, it ways always pretty obvious that AFO was more or less grooming Tenko to be his perfect ~Demon Lord~ OC-- the idea of treating a real person like a fictional character is something I find pretty terrifying + it's something that further emphasizes MHA's metafiction elements, with Tenko being trapped in a role that was written for someone else. I feel that there was adequate build up to AFO being "the author" behind Shigaraki Tomura, specifically-- and it all seemed to be leading up to a point where Tenko would be encouraged to break free & finally take control of his own story ("I needed to hear those words" -> "Those guys (the villains) need a hero, too" -> "You CAN be a hero" "Uh, whoopsie??" 🥲🥲🥲)

Sadly it ends up amounting to nothing because..... Tenko isn't even allowed to fully process the implications of his birth/life and how this has influenced his actions/beliefs/"dream" before exploding, a core scene between him and Nana gets offscreened, and our MC never even bothers to react to the revelation that Tenko's life was scripted. It renders a HUGE part of Tenko's character arc almost completely pointless because we get no actual resolution/pay off for everything that was set up. Like, so much of the finale + epilogue just feels like Hori was going down a check list of plot points/parallels he wanted to include before putting MHA out of its misery, rather than building up to them naturally-- and it's just sad it had to end this way, bc, well. It didn't HAVE to end this way. Hori had all the ingredients necessary to make something truly wonderful, but he didn't use them.

[duckiemimi]

everything that’s happened since gojo’s unsealing has been such a missed opportunity for his character.

now, don’t get me wrong—yuuji is the main protagonist of the story, despite being benched for the better half of the arc, but gojo is a protagonist, too. and though the development from gojo’s beginning (the hidden inventory arc) to his sealing (the shibuya arc) isn’t as consistent as some of the other characters, it’s still growth with room for resolution. resolution which we did not get in 236. (if he’s actually dead.)

i think one of the biggest setbacks to gojo’s potential character growth is the timeskip that happened right before his fight with sukuna. the story wouldn’t have slowed down if we were given time to reacquaint ourselves with gojo after hundreds of chapters of absence, and it would’ve been a great opportunity to re-establish the dynamic he had with his students and friends, as well as introduce him to new characters and the characters we haven’t seen him interact with.

besides exploring character relationships, unfolding that timeskip into actual training scenes would’ve given the reader a sense of time passing, which would’ve played into the anticipation of waiting for the promised date. because that’s what the characters were doing, too—waiting for the promised date. the scenes wouldn’t have to be long and dragged out, but regardless if they were, they could’ve served a purpose in the story. in reality, all we know is that the timeskip happened and now everyone’s patting his back. conveniently implied off-screen growth.

then we have our epic battle, spanning fifteen-chapters full of “is he dead or is he not?” cliffhangers. as highly anticipated as this fight was, it mostly consisted of play-by-play sequences with minimal scenes of characterization. (by characterization, i mean things like internal-monologues and interactions that are more than just fighting. “phew, that was close” thoughts don’t count.) if we were to use the canon fifteen chapters as a base, a skeleton we could build on, adding more characterization could’ve made the fight less repetitive and so much more engaging, so much more meat to the story. alas, all we have fighting.

and then we have chapter 236. in my personal opinion, gojo didn’t have to die for the story to still end up centering the new generation he fostered, but let’s say he really did die in 236. if he really did die, then this chapter completely reversed and regressed gojo’s character to the point where it wholly undermined the development we’ve seen throughout the story. i would call it a simple “out of character” moment, but if he’s dead, then we’re back at square one and now we’ll stay there, unmoving. because he’s dead.

on top of that, his change was done abruptly, too, with no indication or foreshadowing that we were heading in the direction where 236 ended. i wouldn’t say that gojo enjoying his fight with someone who actually gave him a challenge was an indication that he would end up the way he did. you have to believe your readers are smart, but you can’t leave things so vague for them to figure everything out by themselves. readability is great. this issue shouldn’t have to be an open-ended question.

and anyway, the sudden change had no purpose. what am i supposed to take away from him reverting back to his high school self? that despite all the work he put in, he’s still alone? even in death, he feels alone? next to all his dead friends, he laughs but still, he feels alone and misunderstood? how pessimistic. and even if that was what the narrative was going for, then those fifteen chapters were a missed opportunity for an effective transition from point “a” (gojo pre-battle) to point “b” (gojo post-battle/in the afterlife) characterization-wise. (and plot-wise. off-screen major events are lazy.) i’m not convinced and neither are many readers. this isn’t just because gojo’s a well-loved character.

i think most people knew one way or another that gojo would die, given the nature of the story. even if that fifteen chapter back-and-forth gave hope for survival, the end is the inevitable, and that’s understandable. but to end his character as someone unrecognizable from who we were first introduced to, and to have it done so drastically, too? it makes me :/ . sacrificing gojo for the sake of the plot, i could understand, but twisting him post-mortem was unnecessary.

taking away the care he had for the future generation, who are battlefield-bound right now, completely undermines the fact that the story is supposed to center around them. that was his motivation and what spurred him to give yuuta and yuuji second chances in life. his care, his motivation, was what started the story in the first place. if gojo’s character arc was intended to be flat and his actual character, static, then he wouldn’t have had ongoing motivations that lined up with the major plot.

bear in mind, i’m not making this as a call to action or anything (god, no). but these are just my thoughts as a long-time reader. the story is still gege’s and while i’m dissatisfied with how he killed off one of my favorite characters in the series, whatever happens next is in the control of the g-pen between his fingers.

[zuppizup]

Hiiii I just finished the first two chapters of Fuel the Pyre! I'm super excited for it, it's very well done!

I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about your writing process. How do you outline? What kinds of things need to be in an outline in order for you to visualize the story? Do you outline the entire story, one chapter, or just one scene at a time?

Thank you for your time!

Hello! Thanks so much for your kind words! I’m so happy you’re liking the fic so far.

This is a super fun ask. Not sure how coherent or helpful my response will be, but I’ll give it a try. 😆

So, stories like Purgatory, Fuel the Pyre or my WIP dark magic AU, always start out as a bunch of questions.

What if Ezran hadn’t interrupted Callum and Rayla in Viren’s study…

Could a human/elf halfling do primal magic? Can all of them or just a few? What would control that?

What would the world be like if dark magic actually was controlled and regulated.

I usually don’t start out planning a fic when I ponder questions like this, it’s usually just my mind wandering. For me, while I love big, wonderful, imaginative worlds (like the world of The Dragon Prince) what I’m really more interested in is how these things affect individuals. I actually tend to visualise the story before I outline. In fact, I often visualise far beyond where I think I’ll finish the story. (I say where I think I’ll finish because both my current long fics are now firmly in the “after the end of the planned fic” territory)

So, in Fuel the Pyre, for example, I imagine there’s a lot of unknowns for the people involved. Halflings would be pretty new on the scene, all things considered, so the characters themselves wouldn’t have the answer to these questions, which felt like a great excuse to add tension and drama.

Once an idea has got me and I can imagine how that conflict is going to affect the characters, the general outline tends to sort of write itself. I am a planner, so I by the time I start putting pen to paper (so to speak), I’ll usually have a beginning, a rough middle and an end. There will be plot points, tangents, twists and sometimes side stories that I haven’t figured out, but I’ll have a plan for the general flow of the story.

From there, I’ll come up with a pretty messy draft. So, I just sort of go wild in a document. Usually, when I’ve decided I want to write a longer fic, it’s because certain scenes just play on repeat in my head, so I’ll indulge myself and write those out. Then I’ll go back and make rough chapter/arc notes, which usually leads into some other fun scenes I get inspired to write, and slowly, piece by piece, I sort of string the fic together like that.

I used to outline more linearly, starting at the first chapter and working from there, but I found I’d get stuck on transition scenes (the bane of my writing life) and then avoid the fic. (If I put my fingers in my ears and sing very loudly, the transition scene can’t hurt me). I find letting myself write the scenes I’m excited for makes me much more productive. They usually give me ideas for other fun (I use the term loosely, I generally mean “angsty”) scenes and I essentially build my story like that. I do like adding foreshadowing and twists, which is made a lot easier by writing like this too.

In Purgatory, for example, I tried to drop a lot of subtle hints about Callum and his slowly building arcanum connection. It’s so fun when people pick up on that stuff, but I also don’t want it to look like I just pulled a twist or a revelation out of my rear. Nowadays, I do prefer to write the bulk of a story before posting, which this method obviously works better for.

Often, when I start a fic, the beginning and the ending are the most defined parts of the story and the middle is the area that requires the most work, but by stringing the various elements together, I sort of “discover” new conflicts and fun elements to explore, which (hopefully) makes for a richer, more entertaining story.

So, not sure if that was what you’re looking for, but if you could describe the stream of consciousness that is how I write, a process, this is mine. 😅

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: A Ghost in Winterfell (Theon VI) [Chapter 46]

It's a Christmas murder mystery! 🎄🎅🏼🎁

Thank you for allowing me the break. I needed it before tackling this chapter.

It wasn't Harren, Arya wanted to say, it was me. She had killed Chiswyck with a whisper, and she would kill two more before she was through. I'm the ghost in Harrenhal, she thought. And that night, there was one less name to hate. - Arya VII, ACOK

Before we get started, I have to point out something that may or may not be important.

It's a rare Arya -> Theon chapter transition. We all know sometimes the character transitions are significant, sometimes they're not.

In ACOK, mysterious deaths start happening at Harrenhal, which is paralleled in this chapter.

While it was Jaqen killing the men, it was Arya who was responsible for the deaths. She was the ghost in Harrenhal. She called herself the ghost in Harrenhal.

Is that relevant right now? I don't know.

On we go.

+.+.+

The dead man was found at the base of the inner wall, with his neck broken and only his left leg showing above the snow that had buried him during the night.

If Ramsay's bitches had not dug him up, he might have stayed buried till spring. By the time Ben Bones pulled them off, Grey Jeyne had eaten so much of the dead man's face that half the day was gone before they knew for certain who he'd been: a man-at-arms of four-and-forty years who had marched north with Roger Ryswell. "A drunk," Ryswell declared. "Pissing off the wall, I'll wager. He slipped and fell." No one disagreed. But Theon Greyjoy found himself wondering why any man would climb the snow-slick steps to the battlements in the black of night just to take a piss.

Right away let's get it all out there.

The murders that happen in this chapter aren't considered much of a mystery. It is all but confirmed by the text that the wildling spearwives are responsible for the killings.

It's foreshadowed in ACOK.

The killings stopped after Farlen's death, but even so his men continued sullen and anxious. "They fear no foe in open battle," Black Lorren told him, "but it is another thing to dwell among enemies, never knowing if the washerwoman means to kiss you or kill you, or whether the serving boy is filling your cup with ale or bale. We would do well to leave this place." - Theon V, ACOK

Osha seduces and kills one of Theon's men.

Theon flung the cup into the hearth. "I'd say Drennan was pulling down his breeches to stick it in the woman when she stuck it in him. His own cheese knife, by the look of it. Someone find a pike and fish the other fool out of the moat." - Theon IV, ACOK

We're shown a Ryswell privately canoodling with a spearwife in the previous Theon chapter.

Beneath the Burned Tower, he passed Rickard Ryswell nuzzling at the neck of another one of Abel's washerwomen, the plump one with the apple cheeks and pug nose. The girl was barefoot in the snow, bundled up in a fur cloak. He thought she might be naked underneath. - The Turncloak, ADWD

And Theon outright accuses them.

"Touch me," he said. "Kill me." There was more despair than defiance in his voice. "Go on. Do me, the way you did the others. Yellow Dick and the rest. It was you."

Holly laughed. "How could it be us? We're women. Teats and cunnies. Here to be fucked, not feared." - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

x

Little Walder, thought Theon. The big one. He glanced at Rowan. There are six of them, he remembered. Any of them could have done this. But the washerwoman felt his eyes. "This was no work of ours," she said. - Theon I, ADWD

x

"Words are wind." They are no better than me. We're just the same. "You killed the others, why not him? Yellow Dick—"

"—stank as bad as you. A pig of a man."

"And Little Walder was a piglet. Killing him brought the Freys and Manderlys to dagger points, that was cunning, you—"

"Not us." Rowan grabbed him by the throat and shoved him back against the barracks wall, her face an inch from his. "Say it again and I will rip your lying tongue out, kinslayer." - Theon I, ADWD

With no denial.

In the following Theon chapter Rowan is adamant they didn't kill Little Walder (they didn't), but isn't bothered by the accusation that they killed the rest. Putting all of that together we can safely assume they're the killers.

However, I'm not happy unless I'm throwing widely accepted theories into the garbage.

Therefore, we're going to remain open-minded, and examine the possibility Theon's the ghost in Winterfell who is killing these men.

Yes, I realize that sounds ridiculous.

Moving on.

The first murder is a Ryswell man-at-arms thrown from the battlements.

Theon - the potential murderer - doesn't believe the man was drunk and fell. Theon doesn't buy any of the causes of death throughout the chapter. On its own that's not remotely suspicious, but it's something to keep in mind as the evidence builds.

Of course you're asking yourself how come Theon's internal monologue is never incriminating. If he's killing these men, surely that's going to be reflected in his thoughts, yes?

We'll cover that as we go, but I'll quickly say Theon has demonstrated a bit of detachment from reality, potentially has an alter ego, and probably isn't consciously aware he's killed these men.

I know this is insane, please keep reading the post.

Back to the kill. A man is thrown from the battlements. Theon and the battlements. It's less clear here, but it becomes more obvious the locations and causes of death are all relevant to Theon.

Above, he could see some squires building snowmen along the battlements. They were arming them with spears and shields, putting iron halfhelms on their heads, and arraying them along the inner wall, a rank of snowy sentinels. "Lord Winter has joined us with his levies," one of the sentries outside the Great Hall japed … until he saw Theon's face and realized who he was talking to. Then he turned his head and spat. - The Turncloak, ADWD

+.+.+

As the garrison broke its fast that morning on stale bread fried in bacon grease (the lords and knights ate the bacon), the talk along the benches was of little but the corpse.

"Stannis has friends inside the castle," Theon heard one serjeant mutter. He was an old Tallhart man, three trees sewn on his ragged surcoat. The watch had just changed. Men were coming in from the cold, stomping their feet to knock the snow off their boots and breeches as the midday meal was served—blood sausage, leeks, and brown bread still warm from the ovens.

A potential red flag.

Blink and you would have thought that was a continuous scene. We've jumped from breakfast to a midday meal in the span of seconds. There's no indication hours have passed in the middle of this thought.

Is this horrific writing or is Theon's mind a little jumbled?

+.+.+

Endless, ceaseless, merciless, the snow had fallen day and night. Drifts climbed the walls and filled the crenels along the battlements, white blankets covered every roof, tents sagged beneath the weight. Ropes were strung from hall to hall to help men keep from getting lost as they crossed the yards. Sentries crowded into the guard turrets to warm half-frozen hands over glowing braziers, leaving the wallwalks to the snowy sentinels the squires had thrown up, who grew larger and stranger every night as wind and weather worked their will upon them. Ragged beards of ice grew down the spears clasped in their snowy fists. No less a man than Hosteen Frey, who had been heard growling that he did not fear a little snow, lost an ear to frostbite.

The snowmen are growing larger and stranger. Whatever that means.

Ser Stupid Frey is about to be in over his head. Literally.

He's gonna fall in a lake.

Water will be over his head.

His men will be well nourished, ours go into battle with empty bellies. It makes no matter. Ser Stupid, Lord Too-Fat, the Bastard, let them come. We hold the ground, and that I mean to turn to our advantage. - Theon I, ADWD

+.+.+

The horses in the yards suffered most. The blankets thrown over them to keep them warm soaked through and froze if not changed regularly. When fires were lit to keep the cold at bay, they did more harm then good. The warhorses feared the flames and fought to get away, injuring themselves and other horses as they twisted at their lines. Only the horses in the stables were safe and warm, but the stables were already overcrowded.

On the real, how are those Dothraki warhorses going to cope with dragon flames going off around them?

+.+.+

"The gods have turned against us," old Lord Locke was heard to say in the Great Hall. "This is their wroth. A wind as cold as hell itself and snows that never end. We are cursed."

"Stannis is cursed," a Dreadfort man insisted. "He is the one out there in the storm."

"Lord Stannis might be warmer than we know," one foolish freerider argued. "His sorceress can summon fire. Might be her red god can melt these snows."

That was unwise, Theon knew at once. The man spoke too loudly, and in the hearing of Yellow Dick and Sour Alyn and Ben Bones. When the tale reached Lord Ramsay, he sent his Bastard's Boys to seize the man and drag him out into the snow. "As you seem so fond of Stannis, we will send you to him," he said.

Theon might be a little mad, but he's still one of the more astute POVs in the story (ADWD only). Most of the time you can trust his assessment of a person or situation. I say this with Barbrey Dustin in mind.

Yes, Stannis will temporarily melt the snows. Bad news for Shireen, great news for Sansa who has to get to the Wall.

+.+.+

Then, whilst Skinner and Yellow Dick made wagers on how fast his blood would freeze, Ramsay had the man dragged up to the Battlements Gate.

[...]

The bleeding freerider was carried across the bridge and up the steps, still protesting. Then Skinner and Sour Alyn seized his arms and legs and tossed him from the wall to the ground eighty feet below. The drifts had climbed so high that they swallowed the man bodily … but bowmen on the battlements claimed they glimpsed him sometime later, dragging a broken leg through the snow. One feathered his rump with an arrow as he wriggled away. "He will be dead within the hour," Lord Ramsay promised.

"Or he'll be sucking Lord Stannis's cock before the sun goes down," Whoresbane Umber threw back.

"He best take care it don't break off," laughed Rickard Ryswell. "Any man out there in this, his cock is frozen hard."

ha HA, get it?? In weather like this, you're better to not have a cock if you're going to fall from the battlements and survive.

+.+.+

Winterfell's great main gates were closed and barred, and so choked with ice and snow that the portcullis would need to be chipped free before it could be raised. Much the same was true of the Hunter's Gate, though there at least ice was not a problem, since the gate had seen recent use. The Kingsroad Gate had not, and ice had frozen those drawbridge chains rock hard. Which left the Battlements Gate, a small arched postern in the inner wall. Only half a gate, in truth, it had a drawbridge that spanned the frozen moat but no corresponding gateway through the outer wall, offering access to the outer ramparts but not the world beyond.

The author would like everyone to know it's impossible to leave through a gate.

+.+.+

"Lord Stannis is lost in the storm," said Lady Dustin. "He's leagues away, dead or dying. Let winter do its worst. A few more days and the snows will bury him and his army both."

And us as well, thought Theon, marveling at her folly. Lady Barbrey was of the north and should have known better. The old gods might be listening.

It's up to you to decide whether she's as foolish as she seems.

My stance remains the same. She is.

+.+.+

"Never touch me," he said, twisting down to snatch the fallen utensil off the floor before one of Ramsay's girls could get hold of it. "Never touch me."

She sat down next to him, too close, another of Abel's washerwomen. This one was young, fifteen or maybe sixteen, with shaggy blond hair in need of a good wash and a pair of pouty lips in need of a good kiss. "Some girls like to touch," she said, with a little half-smile. "If it please m'lord, I'm Holly."

Holly the whore, he thought, but she was pretty enough. Once he might have laughed and pulled her into his lap, but that day was done. "What do you want?"

"To see these crypts. Where are they, m'lord? Would you show me?" Holly toyed with a strand of her hair, coiling it around her little finger. "Deep and dark, they say. A good place for touching. All the dead kings watching."

"Did Abel send you to me?"

"Might be. Might be I sent myself. But if it's Abel you're wanting, I could bring him. He'll sing m'lord a sweet song."

Every word she said persuaded Theon that this was all some ploy. But whose, and to what end? What could Abel want of him? The man was just a singer, a pander with a lute and a false smile. He wants to know how I took the castle, but not to make a song of it. The answer came to him. He wants to know how we got in so he can get out. Lord Bolton had Winterfell sewn up tight as a babe's swaddling clothes. No one could come or go without his leave. He wants to flee, him and his washerwoman. 

Theon correctly deduces Mance and his washerwomen are looking for a way out.

That's fantastic, but we also have every reason to believe Mance went to Winterfell with more than one goal.

Does she never sleep? What game are you playing, priestess? Did you have some other task for Mance? - Jon IX, ADWD

x

Mance Rayder and his spearwives had not returned, and Jon could not help but wonder whether the red woman had lied of a purpose. Is she playing her own game? - Jon X, ADWD

x

He wondered where Mance was now. Did he ever find you, little sister? Or were you just a ploy he used so I would set him free? - Jon XI, ADWD

Why is the wildling interested in the crypts?

"The steps go farther down," observed Lady Dustin.

"There are lower levels. Older. The lowest level is partly collapsed, I hear. I have never been down there." - The Turncloak, ADWD

What is on the lower levels?

+.+.+

Theon groped his way to the wall, then followed it to the Battlements Gate. He might have taken the guards for a pair of Little Walder's snowmen if he had not seen the white plumes of their breath. "I want to walk the walls," he told them, his own breath frosting in the air.

"Bloody cold up there," one warned.

"Bloody cold down here," the other said, "but you do as you like, turncloak." He waved Theon through the gate.

The steps were snow-packed and slippery, treacherous in the dark. Once he reached the wallwalk, it did not take him long to find the place where they'd thrown down the freerider. He knocked aside the wall of fresh-fallen snow filling up the crenel and leaned out between the merlons. I could jump, he thought. He lived, why shouldn't I? He could jump, and … And what? Break a leg and die beneath the snow? Creep away to freeze to death?

✨ foreshadowing ✨

Want to know how stupid the fandom is?

Euron turned to face him, his bruised blue lips curled in a half smile. "Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower?" The wind came gusting through the window and stirred his sable cloak. There was something obscene and disturbing about his nakedness. "No man ever truly knows what he can do unless he dares to leap." - The Reaver, AFFC

Looking back that's such obvious Theon foreshadowing, yet everyone in the world thinks it means Euron is somehow tied to Bloodraven.

We're going to ignore the fact that I also didn't make the connection to Theon at the time.

+.+.+

The next morning Ser Aenys Frey's grizzled squire was found naked and dead of exposure in the old castle lichyard, his face so obscured by hoarfrost that he appeared to be wearing a mask. Ser Aenys put it forth that the man had drunk too much and gotten lost in the storm, though no one could explain why he had taken off his clothes to go outside. Another drunkard, Theon thought. Wine could drown a host of suspicions.

Then, before the day was done, a crossbowman sworn to the Flints turned up in the stables with a broken skull. Kicked by a horse, Lord Ramsay declared. A club, more like, Theon decided.

The second murder is a naked Frey squire found in the lichyard.

Makes perfect sense it was a washerwoman seducing the squire. They were spotted in the area in a previous Theon chapter.

Even here in this half-frozen lichyard of a castle, surrounded by snow and ice and death, there were women. Washerwomen. - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

However, Theon also frequently visits the lichyard at night, and is petrified of being naked.

"No." He could not let them take the clothes Lord Ramsay gave him. He could not let them see him. - Reek III, ADWD

x

Theon peeled his gloves off and held his hands up for them to see. It is not as if I stand before them naked. - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

The third murder is a Flint crossbowman found in the stables.

Nothing connecting the spearwives to the stables.

Quite the opposite for Theon, who has had several traumatic memories about the stables leading up to this.

The memory came back in a rush. Smiler's screams had sounded almost human. His mane afire, he had reared up on his hind legs, blind with pain, lashing out with his hooves. No, no. Not mine, he was not mine, Reek never had a horse. - Reek II, ADWD

x

He set my horse afire. That was the last sight he had seen the day the castle fell: Smiler burning, the flames leaping from his mane as he reared up, kicking, screaming, his eyes white with terror. Here in this very yard. - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

x

Beyond the tents the big destriers of the knights from White Harbor and the Twins were shivering in their horse lines. Ramsay had burned the stables when he sacked Winterfell, so his father had thrown up new ones twice as large as the old, to accommodate the warhorses and palfreys of his lords' bannermen and knights. - The Turncloak, ADWD

So far we have dead men sworn to the Ryswells, Freys, and Flints.

Do the spearwives know the internal politics of the north? I'll let you decide.

+.+.+

It all seemed so familiar, like a mummer show that he had seen before. Only the mummers had changed. Roose Bolton was playing the part that Theon had played the last time round, and the dead men were playing the parts of Aggar, Gynir Rednose, and Gelmarr the Grim. Reek was there too, he remembered, but he was a different Reek, a Reek with bloody hands and lies dripping from his lips, sweet as honey. Reek, Reek, it rhymes with sneak.

And which part are you playing, Theon?

Theon is correct, we've done this before. Not just Arya. In ACOK, there was another ghost in Winterfell causing mysterious deaths. We know it was Reek (Ramsay) who was responsible.

Theon pointing out the similarities seems to suggest this Reek (Theon) might be committing the murders again.

+.+.+

"How long must we sit here waiting for this king who never comes?" Ser Hosteen Frey demanded. "We should take the fight to Stannis and make an end to him."

[...]

Lord Wyman Manderly slapped his massive belly. "White Harbor does not fear to ride with you, Ser Hosteen. Lead us out, and my knights will ride behind you."

Ser Hosteen turned on the fat man. "Close enough to drive a lance through my back, aye. Where are my kin, Manderly? Tell me that. Your guests, who brought your son back to you."

Wyman Manderly is so funny. A treasure.

That is exactly what will happen.

Lord Bolton unrolled the parchment. "His host lies not three days' ride from here, snowbound and starving, and I for one am tired of waiting on his pleasure. Ser Hosteen, assemble your knights and men-at-arms by the main gates. As you are so eager for battle, you shall strike our first blow. Lord Wyman, gather your White Harbor men by the east gate. They shall go forth as well." - Theon I, ADWD

The Freys will fall in a lake, will the Manderlys be more lucky?

Unfortunately Stannis doesn't know Wyman Manderly conspires against the Boltons.

"Wyman Manderly." The king's mouth twisted in contempt. "Lord Too-Fat-to-Sit-a-Horse. Too fat to come to me, yet he comes to Winterfell. Too fat to bend the knee and swear me his sword, yet now he wields that sword for Bolton. I sent my Onion Lord to treat with him, and Lord Too-Fat butchered him and mounted his head and hands on the walls of White Harbor for the Freys to gloat over. And the Freys... has the Red Wedding been forgotten?" - Theon I, TWOW

There's a lot of room for an oopsie here.

+.+.+

"His bones, you mean." Manderly speared a chunk of ham with his dagger. "I recall them well. Rhaegar of the round shoulders, with his glib tongue. Bold Ser Jared, so swift to draw his steel. Symond the spymaster, always clinking coins. They brought home Wendel's bones. It was Tywin Lannister who returned Wylis to me, safe and whole, as he had promised. A man of his word, Lord Tywin, Seven save his soul." Lord Wyman popped the meat into his mouth, chewed it noisily, smacked his lips, and said, "The road has many dangers, ser. I gave your brothers guest gifts when we took our leave of White Harbor. We swore we would meet again at the wedding. Many and more bore witness to our parting."

Lol.

+.+.+

"Step out into the yard, you sack of suet, and I'll serve you all the bloody bits that you can stomach," Ser Hosteen said.

He might like that.

+.+.+

Wyman Manderly laughed, but half a dozen of his knights were on their feet at once. It fell to Roger Ryswell and Barbrey Dustin to calm them with quiet words. Roose Bolton said nothing at all. But Theon Greyjoy saw a look in his pale eyes that he had never seen before—an uneasiness, even a hint of fear.

Bwahahahahaha.

+.+.+

That night the new stable collapsed beneath the weight of the snow that had buried it. Twenty-six horses and two grooms died, crushed beneath the falling roof or smothered under the snows. It took the best part of the morning to dig out the bodies. 

Dear lord (@aegor-bamfsteel),

Please forgive me for laughing at all the imaginary dead horses. This does not represent who I am as a person.

Anyway, what kind of northerner doesn't know you have to remove heavy snow from an unstable roof? Please, George.

+.+.+

And no sooner had the men finished digging out the dead men and butchering the horses than another corpse was found.

This one could not be waved away as some drunken tumble or the kick of a horse. The dead man was one of Ramsay's favorites, the squat, scrofulous, ill-favored man-at-arms called Yellow Dick. Whether his dick had actually been yellow was hard to determine, as someone had sliced it off and stuffed it into his mouth so forcefully they had broken three of his teeth. When the cooks found him outside the kitchens, buried up to his neck in a snowdrift, both dick and man were blue from cold. 

The fourth murder is Yellow Dick, one of Ramsay's favourites.

His teeth are broken (!), and his penis is cut off (!!!).

He rubbed his mouth to hide his broken teeth, and said, "I need to speak with your commander." - Reek II, ADWD

x

"Reek, get over here. Get her ready for me."

For a moment he did not understand. "I … do you mean … m'lord, I have no … I …" - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

A penis shoved in the mouth of one of Ramsay's favourites feels a little personal to me. What about you?

+.+.+

"Burn the body," Roose Bolton ordered, "and see that you do not speak of this. I'll not have this tale spread."

The tale spread nonetheless. By midday most of Winterfell had heard, many from the lips of Ramsay Bolton, whose "boy" Yellow Dick had been. 

I bet Roose is thrilled Ramsay can't keep his mouth shut.

+.+.+

The horsemeat was too tough for the ruins of Theon's teeth. His attempts to chew gave him excruciating pain. So he mashed the neeps and onions up together with the flat of his dagger and made a meal of that, then cut the horse up very small, sucked on each piece, and spat it out. 

Quick reminder of the state of Theon's mouth.

Dagger! Highlighting for later.

+.+.+

Lord Bolton commanded Abel to play for them as they ate. The bard sang "Iron Lances," then "The Winter Maid." When Barbrey Dustin asked for something more cheerful, he gave them "The Queen Took Off Her Sandal, the King Took Off His Crown," and "The Bear and the Maiden Fair." The Freys joined the singing, and even a few northmen slammed their fists on the table to the chorus, bellowing, "A bear! A bear!" But the noise frightened the horses, so the singers soon let off and the music died away.

[...]

He fled quickly, before they changed their minds. His tormentors would not follow him outside. Not so long as there was food and drink within, willing women and warm fires. As he left the hall, Abel was singing "The Maids That Bloom in Spring."

I'll let you guys read into the songs.

I'm mostly including this so everyone knows Mance is accounted for, and can't be the Hooded Man.

Seriously, the amount of people I saw speculating it was Mance would blow your mind. When I say people can't read I mean they can't read.

+.+.+

Outside the snow was coming down so heavily that Theon could not see more than three feet ahead of him. He found himself alone in a white wilderness, walls of snow looming up to either side of him chest high. When he raised his head, the snowflakes brushed his cheeks like cold soft kisses. He could hear the sound of music from the hall behind him. A soft song now, and sad. For a moment he felt almost at peace.

Did you know people use this to dismiss the jonsa in Sansa's drifting snowflakes? Lol.

Poor bastards don't know about the prologue.

+.+.+

Farther on, he came upon a man striding in the opposite direction, a hooded cloak flapping behind him. When they found themselves face-to-face their eyes met briefly. The man put a hand on his dagger. "Theon Turncloak. Theon Kinslayer."

"I'm not. I never … I was ironborn."

"False is all you were. How is it you still breathe?"

"The gods are not done with me," Theon answered, wondering if this could be the killer, the night walker who had stuffed Yellow Dick's cock into his mouth and pushed Roger Ryswell's groom off the battlements. Oddly, he was not afraid. He pulled the glove from his left hand. "Lord Ramsay is not done with me."

The man looked, and laughed. "I leave you to him, then."

Theon trudged through the storm until his arms and legs were caked with snow and his hands and feet had gone numb from cold, then climbed to the battlements of the inner wall again.

Oh goodie, is it time for another meta?

Who is the Hooded Man? Wait until you see how many candidates we have to cover. I'm truly blessed.

I'll leave Theon for last, but to start off I'll let everyone know the general consensus is the Theon Durden theory.

In the movie Fight Club, Tyler Durden is a figment of the The Narrator's imagination. Many theorize the Hooded Man is a manifestation of Theon's own psyche. Theon Durden.

Okay, let's get to it.

THE CANDIDATES

A Banefort

Who? Yeah, exactly. House Banefort of the Westerlands has a black hooded man on a grey field as their sigil.

Um, Black Hood is a comic book reference.

Benjen Stark

One of the more popular theories.

Why Benjen? Benjen is a missing Stark, there's a bizarre belief within the fandom that a Stark literally needs to be at Winterfell at all times or the world will collapse, and there's an exchange between him and Bran that people have read far too much into.

At the feast in honor of King Robert's visit to Winterfell, Bran had recited the names for his uncle Benjen, east to west and then west to east. Benjen Stark had laughed and said, "You know them better than I do, Bran. Perhaps you should be First Ranger. I'll stay here in your place." - Bran III, ASOS

Anyone who believes Benjen Stark could walk around Winterfell unnoticed is crazy.

Brynden "Blackfish" Tully

Missing, major character, and another Stark loyalist.

Same as Benjen, you don't think someone would have recognized Blackfish by now?

Besides, the former Knight of the Gate is going to the Vale, the ellipsis of truth told me so.

And if Ser Brynden should survive this siege, he might be inclined to claim Riverrun in his own name . . . or in the name of young Robert Arryn. - Jaime V, AFFC

Faceless Man

The Faceless Men are known for infiltrating castles and causing mischief, but there's zero evidence supporting this.

Galbart Glover

Master of Deepwood Motte, last seen in ASOS where he was sent to the Neck with Maege Mormont.

Personally I think he's sitting on a far bigger developing storyline.

Hallis Mollen 

The second most popular theory ... yeah, you read that right.

Do you remember Hallis Mollen? Probably not. Member of Eddard Stark's household guard, tends to state the obvious, and was tasked with bringing Ned Stark's bones back to Winterfell in ACOK.

Hallis has been missing for quite awhile, and we're one Theon chapter removed from being reminded of Ned Stark's bones by Barbrey Dustin. Not only that, but Hallis Mollen = Hooded Man. Suspicious, right?

Wrong.

Are we seriously doing this? Hallis Mollen magically got to Winterfell with Ned's bones, and now he wanders around with a knife? Okay, and now what? He dismantles the Bolton empire from the inside?

Leave it to the fandom to take a nothing character and give him one of the most important roles in the north.

Now that I think about it, maybe Val is the Hooded Man.

Harwin

Another popular theory. Wow.

Current member of the brotherhood without banners, former member of the Stark household guard, and horse whisperer. Knows Arya is alive, and might have been motivated to come save her. The brotherhood without banners have infiltrated Riverrun, why not Winterfell?

Because it's stupid.

This is not Harwin. Have people forgotten how many clues there were that pointed to Tom Sevenstrings being the singer?

Hother "Whoresbane" Umber

It's implied all the high lords are in the Great Hall eating.

Umber is big picture betrayal, not petty murder betrayal.

Howland Reed 

Stark loyalist, and eagerly awaiting his debut. Not to mention Howland Reed is actually every character in the story. Hooded Man? Howland Reed. The Knight of the Laughing Tree? Howland Reed. The High Sparrow? Howland Reed. Ser Shadrich? Howland Reed. Septa Lemore? Howland Reed.

If it was Howland, guaranteed Theon would have commented on the height of the man.

Mance Rayder

I'm speechless. We just saw him, he's in the Great Hall singing.

I swear to god introducing glamor to the story broke so many brains.

Mors "Crowfood" Umber

Stark loyalist, commits to Stannis, shows up right outside the castle by the end of this chapter, and calls Theon a kinslayer in the next book.

Uh, how is he getting in and out? Theon never connects Mors to the Hooded Man in the sample chapter. He's also a huge man, and that would have been mentioned.

Mountain Clansman

What? They're with Stannis.

Random Unnamed Northman Loyal to the Starks

Surprisingly popular theory.

I mean, maybe? Kind of hard to refute this. I don't mind when unnamed smallfolk are elevated within the story, but it's unlikely.

Robett Glover

Last seen conspiring against the Boltons with Manderly and Davos at White Harbor.

We don't know his current whereabouts, but he's not worth serious consideration. What is the point of Robett Glover being the Hooded Man? Wyman Manderly is already inside the castle, and could execute the same plot.

Rodrik Cassel

Oh my god.

I'm not lying, I came across this idea several times.

The Miller

As in the miller's wife's miller.

Jesus Christ. No.

___

All of these theories suck hard.

Which brings us to our final candidate.

Theon "Durden" Greyjoy

How very George R. R. Martin.

Farther on, he came upon a man striding in the opposite direction

Sounds symbolic. In Fight Club, Tyler Durden is everything The Narrator wishes he could be. Worth pointing out, after this encounter Theon's name will return as the header for his chapters.

One thing I think people miss is that if they're walking in opposite directions, the Hooded Man is walking towards the Great Hall. Why in the world would Benjen or Blackfish walk towards the Great Hall?

a hooded cloak flapping behind him.

Theon wears hooded cloaks.

Ice crunched beneath his boots, and a sudden gust pushed back his hood, as if a ghost had plucked at him with frozen fingers, hungry to gaze upon his face. - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

Babe, why are you hiding your face?

To be fair, many characters are described wearing hooded cloaks.

When they found themselves face-to-face their eyes met briefly.

Not explicitly stated, but it's implied they're similar height. Sorry to Howland and the Umber brothers.

Theon doesn't name the Hooded Man. Theon should be familiar with almost every notable figure from the north. He grew up in Winterfell, and was right by Robb's side throughout the war.

The man put a hand on his dagger.

Dagger!

A lot of attention is paid to the dagger Theon carries on his hip.

He could feel his missing fingers cramping: two on his left hand, one on his right. And on his hip his dagger rested, sleeping in its leather sheath, but heavy, oh so heavy. It is only my pinky gone on my right hand, Theon reminded himself. - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

To be fair, many people in Winterfell are described carrying daggers.

No longswords had been allowed within the hall, but every man there wore a dagger, even Theon Greyjoy. How else to cut his meat? - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

"Theon Turncloak. Theon Kinslayer."

The Hooded Man recognizes Theon despite Theon's altered appearance. Is that bad news for the Harwin and Hallis crowd?

More important, this is the first person to ever call Theon a kinslayer.

Theon will refer to himself as a brother to Ned's children in this same chapter.

The old gods, he thought. They know me. They know my name. I was Theon of House Greyjoy. I was a ward of Eddard Stark, a friend and brother to his children. - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

To be fair, Rowan the spearwife and Mors Umber will also call him a kinslayer.

"False is all you were. How is it you still breathe?" "The gods are not done with me," Theon answered

Where did you get that idea from?

If you've been following along you know Theon has been doing a whole lot of not killing himself despite claiming he wants to die.

Theon answered, wondering if this could be the killer, the night walker who had stuffed Yellow Dick's cock into his mouth and pushed Roger Ryswell's groom off the battlements.

If Theon is the Hooded Man he just questioned whether he's the murderer.

Oddly, he was not afraid. He pulled the glove from his left hand. "Lord Ramsay is not done with me."

Oddly, indeed. Theon isn't frightened of the Hooded Man, and volunteers his hand. Theon hates showing people his hands.

Later in this chapter he'll be approached by washerwomen, and won't come off quite as confident.

"I told you. I want to touch you, turncloak." Holly smiled. In her hand a blade appeared.

I could scream, Theon thought. Someone will hear. The castle is full of armed men. He would be dead before help reached him, to be sure, his blood soaking into the ground to feed the heart tree. And what would be so wrong with that? - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

The man looked, and laughed. "I leave you to him, then."

Theon never laughs in ADWD. Not once.

If he had dared, he would have laughed. - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

x

Once he might have laughed and pulled her into his lap, but that day was done. - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

x

Theon would have laughed aloud if he'd remembered how. - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

x

Theon would have laughed if he had dared. - Theon I, ADWD

Does this mean the Hooded Man isn't Theon?

No. Tyler Durden is everything The Narrator wishes he could be. Theon Durden would laugh. He might also do a few murders that Reek isn't capable of.

We'll cover this again a little later.

___

ADDITIONAL ARGUMENTS

If Theon is the Hooded Man, it makes complete sense that Theon is also the ghost in Winterfell. If Theon is the ghost in Winterfell, it makes complete sense that Theon is also the Hooded Man. They work better in tandem.

If the Hooded Man isn't Theon, what the hell is he doing? It's Theon or the washerwomen killing all the men. If the Hooded Man isn't Theon he's just some dude walking around with a dagger he apparently doesn't know how to use.

Theon calls himself a ghost in Winterfell. The Hooded Man is a perfect embodiment of a ghost in Winterfell.

I made reference to it before but it bears repeating. If the Hooded Man is Theon Grejoy, it's so George R. R. Martin it hurts. Remember, it's Cersei who is the YMBQ. It's Daenerys who is the focus of almost every vision she's shown from The House of the Undying.

"Murdered by whose hand?" Cersei demanded.

"Have you ever considered that too many answers are the same as no answer at all? - Tyrion VIII, ADWD

___

THEON DURDEN COUNTER-ARGUMENTS

Theon is shown to be recovering mentally with each passing chapter, why has he suddenly developed schizophrenia?

Let me combine this with the next point.

Why is this not happening in a dream? George always writes characters having self-confrontations through dreams. Theon has an extensive history of this.

The reason it's not happening in a dream, and the reason he could be having sudden delusions, is because Theon suffers from insomnia. He can't sleep.

Though his arms and legs were thin as reeds, his belly was swollen and hollow, and ached so much that he found he could not sleep. - Reek I

x

Last night, unable to sleep, Theon had found himself brooding on escape, of slipping away unseen whilst Ramsay and his lord father had their attention elsewhere. - The Turncloak, ADWD

x

"I cannot sleep, m'lord. I walk." - A Ghost in Winterfell

x

The hour of the wolf found him still awake, wrapped in layers of heavy wool and greasy fur, walking yet another circuit of the inner walls, hoping to exhaust himself enough to sleep. - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

In Fight Club, The Narrator very famously has insomnia. It's the reason he hallucinates an alter ego.

Regardless, I would argue the encounter feels like a dream anyway. The Hooded Man exists for precisely this one moment, and is never thought of again.

Why doesn't he recognize himself?

Why doesn't The Narrator recognize Tyler Durden as his alternate self?

Putting aside the fact that Theon is having one hell of an identity crisis throughout this book, if you read it again, I'm not even sure that's an accurate takeaway.

Why does he call himself a kinslayer?

Yeah, that's a head-scratcher.

Theon didn't kill Bran and Rickon. He knows he's not a kinslayer.

Many have suggested Theon might know the miller's boys were his. Listen, I hate Theon, but even I don't think he's capable of killing kids he suspects are his own.

My only explanation for this is that he blames himself for his brother Robb dying.

I got nothing else. I did my best.

+.+.+

He was trapped here, with the ghosts. The old ghosts from the crypts and the younger ones that he had made himself, Mikken and Farlen, Gynir Rednose, Aggar, Gelmarr the Grim, the miller's wife from Acorn Water and her two young sons, and all the rest. My work. My ghosts. They are all here, and they are angry. He thought of the crypts and those missing swords.

Ghosts he had made himself. His work. His ghosts. Mmkay.

Shoutout to @agentrouka-blog for reminding me of this killer Tyrion quote.

There are worse ways to die than drowning. And if truth be told, he had perished long ago, back in King's Landing. It was only his revenant who remained, the small vengeful ghost who throttled Shae and put a crossbow bolt through the great Lord Tywin's bowels. No man would mourn the thing that he'd become. I'll haunt the Seven Kingdoms, he thought, sinking deeper. They would not love me living, so let them dread me dead. - Tyrion V, ADWD

x

There are ghosts in Winterfell, he thought, and I am one of them. - The Turncloak, ADWD

+.+.+

Steelshanks led him back to the Great Keep and the solar that had once been Eddard Stark's. Lord Bolton was not alone. Lady Dustin sat with him, pale-faced and severe; an iron horsehead brooch clasped Roger Ryswell's cloak; Aenys Frey stood near the fire, pinched cheeks flushed with cold.

Notice how Roose didn't invite Ramsay, the lord of this castle and his supposed heir, to the meeting of Very Important People?

The rift between father and son is subtle, but it's there.

+.+.+

"I am told you have been wandering the castle," Lord Bolton began. "Men have reported seeing you in the stables, in the kitchens, in the barracks, on the battlements. You have been observed near the ruins of collapsed keeps, outside Lady Catelyn's old sept, coming and going from the godswood. Do you deny it?"

The author officially indicates the killer might be Theon.

+.+.+

"No, m'lord." Theon made sure to muddy up the word. He knew that pleased Lord Bolton. "I cannot sleep, m'lord. I walk." He kept his head down, fixed upon the old stale rushes scattered on the floor. It was not wise to look his lordship in the face.

Roose preferring Theon speak like a peasant is deranged.

+.+.+

"I was a boy here before the war. A ward of Eddard Stark."

"You were a hostage," Bolton said.

"Yes, m'lord. A hostage." It was my home, though. Not a true home, but the best I ever knew.

Is there a sadder character?

+.+.+

"Someone has been killing my men."

"Yes, m'lord."

"Not you, I trust?" Bolton's voice grew even softer. "You would not repay all my kindnesses with such treachery."

"No, m'lord, not me. I wouldn't. I … only walk, is all."

Normally I would jump out of my seat at that ellipsis of (un)truth, but Theon's dialogue is always written in this manner, so I don't know.

Damn, I want to believe in the ellipsis of (un)truth so bad.

+.+.+

Lady Dustin spoke up. "Take off your gloves."

Theon glanced up sharply. "Please, no. I … I …"

"Do as she says," Ser Aenys said. "Show us your hands."

Theon peeled his gloves off and held his hands up for them to see. It is not as if I stand before them naked. It is not so bad as that.

. . .

(Look who doesn't want to take off their gloves.)

+.+.+

Theon peeled his gloves off and held his hands up for them to see. It is not as if I stand before them naked. It is not so bad as that. His left hand had three fingers, his right four. Ramsay had taken only the pinky off the one, the ring finger and forefingers from the other.

"The Bastard did this to you," Lady Dustin said.

She's comfortable calling Ramsay a bastard in front of Roose because Roose doesn't care.

+.+.+

"Four is enough." Ser Aenys Frey fingered the wispy brown beard that sprouted from his weak chin like a rat's tail. "Four on his right hand. He could still hold a sword. A dagger."

Lady Dustin laughed. "Are all Freys such fools? Look at him. Hold a dagger? He hardly has the strength to hold a spoon. Do you truly think he could have overcome the Bastard's disgusting creature and shoved his manhood down his throat?"

"These dead were all strong men," said Roger Ryswell, "and none of them were stabbed. The turncloak's not our killer."

Roose Bolton's pale eyes were fixed on Theon, as sharp as Skinner's flaying knife. "I am inclined to agree. Strength aside, he does not have it in him to betray my son."

Are you not all side-eyeing this exchange?

They're LAUGHING at the prospect of it being Theon. It's simply impossible! Look at this pathetic weak man! Too broken to ever plot betrayal!

Is that not making your brain itch? This is the exact same dismissal Wyman Manderly receives from these people.

Are we sure it's the spearwives? Are we?

Strength aside, he does not have it in him to betray my son.

He does. :D

What about strength? Admittedly, that's the biggest issue with the theory. These men weren't stabbed. Is Theon capable of overpowering all the men he potentially killed?

I can't answer that question, but I think Theon gives himself more credit than Barbrey Dustin does.

Fear went through him like a knife. They are only children, he thought. Two boys of eight. He could overcome two boys of eight, surely. Even as weak as he was, he could take the torch, take the keys, take the dagger sheathed on Little Walder's hip, escape. - Reek I, ADWD

x

It is only my pinky gone on my right hand, Theon reminded himself. I can still grip a knife. - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

Side note, have to throw it in for fun:

Victarion is like some great grey bullock, strong and tireless and dutiful, but not like to win any races. No doubt, he'll serve me as loyally as he has served my lord father. He has neither the wits nor the ambition to plot betrayal.

He does. :D

+.+.+

Roger Ryswell grunted. "If not him, who? Stannis has some man inside the castle, that's plain."

Reek is no man. Not Reek. Not me. He wondered if Lady Dustin had told them about the crypts, the missing swords.

This has such guilty dog energy.

Not Reek. Not me. Theon Durden!

He thought of the crypts and those missing swords.

x

He wondered if Lady Dustin had told them about the crypts, the missing swords.

Kind of hilarious he's consumed with the missing swords, but not a hooded man with a dagger prowling around Winterfell.

+.+.+

"We must look at Manderly," muttered Ser Aenys Frey. "Lord Wyman loves us not."

Ryswell was not convinced. "He loves his steaks and chops and meat pies, though. Prowling the castle by dark would require him to leave the table. The only time he does that is when he seeks the privy for one of his hourlong squats."

Or to plot treason with Davos Seaworth.

+.+.+

"I do not claim Lord Wyman does the deeds himself. He brought three hundred men with him. A hundred knights. Any of them might have—"

"Night work is not knight's work," Lady Dustin said. "And Lord Wyman is not the only man who lost kin at your Red Wedding, Frey. Do you imagine Whoresbane loves you any better? If you did not hold the Greatjon, he would pull out your entrails and make you eat them, as Lady Hornwood ate her fingers. Flints, Cerwyns, Tallharts, Slates … they all had men with the Young Wolf."

"House Ryswell too," said Roger Ryswell.

"Even Dustins out of Barrowton." Lady Dustin parted her lips in a thin, feral smile. "The north remembers, Frey."

Barbrey's big moment that has the fandom convinced she's Team Stark.

All I see is a woman too chicken shit to acknowledge the Boltons are as culpable as the Freys.

+.+.+

"You are free to go. Take care where you wander. Else it might be you we find upon the morrow, smiling a red smile."

Roose should maybe ask himself why Theon, the most hated man in the castle, hasn't already been killed.

+.+.+

The hour of the wolf found him still awake, wrapped in layers of heavy wool and greasy fur, walking yet another circuit of the inner walls, hoping to exhaust himself enough to sleep. His legs were caked with snow to the knee, his head and shoulders shrouded in white. On this stretch of the wall the wind was in his face, and melting snow ran down his cheeks like icy tears.

Kind of sounds like a ghost.

+.+.+

Then he heard the horn.

A long low moan, it seemed to hang above the battlements, lingering in the black air, soaking deep into the bones of every man who heard it. All along the castle walls, sentries turned toward the sound, their hands tightening around the shafts of their spears. In the ruined halls and keeps of Winterfell, lords hushed other lords, horses nickered, and sleepers stirred in their dark corners. No sooner had the sound of the warhorn died away than a drum began to beat: BOOM doom BOOM doom BOOM doom. And a name passed from the lips of each man to the next, written in small white puffs of breath. Stannis, they whispered, Stannis is here, Stannis is come, Stannis, Stannis, Stannis.

Mors Umber, not Stannis.

"We had expected to find the king at Winterfell. This same blizzard has engulfed the castle, alas. Beneath its walls we found Mors Umber with a troop of raw green boys, waiting for the king's coming. He gave us this." - The Sacrifice, ADWD

With Stannis stuck in the village, Mors is a sitting duck outside the castle.

+.+.+

Theon shivered. Baratheon or Bolton, it made no matter to him. Stannis had made common cause with Jon Snow at the Wall, and Jon would take his head off in a heartbeat. Plucked from the clutches of one bastard to die at the hands of another, what a jape. Theon would have laughed aloud if he'd remembered how.

Covered in Hooded Man, but I want to expand on it.

Theon gets his name back, and can't stop laughing in TWOW.

"None. No men." He grinned at his own wit. - Theon I, TWOW

x

"Their spears and axes were older than the hands that clutched them. It was Whoresbane Umber who had the men, inside the castle. I saw them too. Old men, every one." Theon tittered. - Theon I, TWOW

x

Theon Greyjoy kicked his feet feebly, and laughed under his breath. Caught! - Theon I, TWOW

x

Theon's laugh was half a titter, half a whimper. - Theon I, TWOW

Not so hard to believe Theon Durden would laugh.

+.+.+

"Do they mean to try and blow our walls down?" japed a Flint when the warhorn sounded once again. "Mayhaps he thinks he's found the Horn of Joramun."

That is such a bizarre addition to the chapter it makes you stop reading.

What's at the bottom of the crypts, George?

+.+.+

"We should take the fight to him," declared a Frey.

Do that, Theon thought. Ride out into the snow and die.

They will. :D

+.+.+

Leave Winterfell to me and the ghosts. Roose Bolton would welcome such a fight, he sensed. He needs an end to this. The castle was too crowded to withstand a long siege, and too many of the lords here were of uncertain loyalty. Fat Wyman Manderly, Whoresbane Umber, the men of House Hornwood and House Tallhart, the Lockes and Flints and Ryswells, all of them were northmen, sworn to House Stark for generations beyond count. It was the girl who held them here, Lord Eddard's blood, but the girl was just a mummer's ploy, a lamb in a direwolf's skin. So why not send the northmen forth to battle Stannis before the farce unraveled? Slaughter in the snow. And every man who falls is one less foe for the Dreadfort.

Theon recognizing it all falls apart without the girl.

Because of the inclusion of the Ryswells, I'm not automatically assigning all these houses Team Stark.

the girl was just a mummer's ploy, a lamb in a direwolf's skin

Not to be mistaken with that other mummer's ploy: a direwolf in dragon's scales.

+.+.+

Theon wondered if he might be allowed to fight. Then at least he might die a man's death, sword in hand. That was a gift Ramsay would never give him, but Lord Roose might. If I beg him. I did all he asked of me, I played my part, I gave the girl away.

Death was the sweetest deliverance he could hope for.

I'm not sure it will be a sword.

How many fingers do you need for a bow?

As the maester knelt to examine the wound, Bran turned his head. Theon Greyjoy stood beside a sentinel tree, his bow in hand. He was smiling. Ever smiling. A half-dozen arrows were thrust into the soft ground at his feet, but it had taken only one. "A dead enemy is a thing of beauty," he announced. - Bran V, AGOT

+.+.+

And in the heart of the wood the weirwood waited with its knowing red eyes. Theon stopped by the edge of the pool and bowed his head before its carved red face. Even here he could hear the drumming, boom DOOM boom DOOM boom DOOM boom DOOM. Like distant thunder, the sound seemed to come from everywhere at once.

The night was windless, the snow drifting straight down out of a cold black sky, yet the leaves of the heart tree were rustling his name. "Theon," they seemed to whisper, "Theon."

The old gods, he thought. They know me. They know my name. I was Theon of House Greyjoy. I was a ward of Eddard Stark, a friend and brother to his children. "Please." He fell to his knees. "A sword, that's all I ask. Let me die as Theon, not as Reek." Tears trickled down his cheeks, impossibly warm. "I was ironborn. A son … a son of Pyke, of the islands."

Begging Bran to give his life purpose.

Is the boom DOOM supposed to feel like the Red Wedding?

+.+.+

A leaf drifted down from above, brushed his brow, and landed in the pool. It floated on the water, red, five-fingered, like a bloody hand. "… Bran," the tree murmured.

They know. The gods know. They saw what I did. And for one strange moment it seemed as if it were Bran's face carved into the pale trunk of the weirwood, staring down at him with eyes red and wise and sad. Bran's ghost, he thought, but that was madness. Why should Bran want to haunt him? He had been fond of the boy, had never done him any harm. It was not Bran we killed. It was not Rickon. They were only miller's sons, from the mill by the Acorn Water. "I had to have two heads, else they would have mocked me … laughed at me … they …"

Not sure what to make of that bloody leafy hand. Is the pool important?

Bran's ghost, he thought, but that was madness. Why should Bran want to haunt him? He had been fond of the boy, had never done him any harm.

I try to tolerate Theon. I really do.

+.+.+

A voice said, "Who are you talking to?"

Theon spun, terrified that Ramsay had found him, but it was just the washerwomen—Holly, Rowan, and one whose name he did not know. "The ghosts," he blurted. "They whisper to me. They … they know my name."

"Theon Turncloak." Rowan grabbed his ear, twisting. "You had to have two heads, did you?"

"Elsewise men would have laughed at him," said Holly.

They do not understand. Theon wrenched free. "What do you want?" he asked.

I'm not sure I'll ever understand how these wildlings became the biggest Stark loyalists in the story, or why they're prepared to die for Arya Stark, but whatever.

+.+.+

"I told you. I want to touch you, turncloak." Holly smiled. In her hand a blade appeared.

I could scream, Theon thought. Someone will hear. The castle is full of armed men. He would be dead before help reached him, to be sure, his blood soaking into the ground to feed the heart tree. And what would be so wrong with that? "Touch me," he said. "Kill me." There was more despair than defiance in his voice. "Go on. Do me, the way you did the others. Yellow Dick and the rest. It was you."

Holly laughed. "How could it be us? We're women. Teats and cunnies. Here to be fucked, not feared."

"Did the Bastard hurt you?" Rowan asked. "Chopped off your fingers, did he? Skinned your widdle toes? Knocked your teeth out? Poor lad." She patted his cheek. "There will be no more o' that, I promise. You prayed, and the gods sent us. You want to die as Theon? We'll give you that. A nice quick death, 'twill hardly hurt at all." She smiled. "But not till you've sung for Abel. He's waiting for you."

She laughs! She jokes. So obvious. Of course the washerwomen killed everyone ...

or did they.

Final thoughts:

I can't keep doing this. I'll be a puddle by the time we get to locusts.

One final thing I want to mention. The title of the chapter is A Ghost in Winterfell.

George abandoned his typical method of naming chapters.

The Prince of Winterfell, The Turncloak, The Dragontamer, The Griffin Reborn, The Discarded Knight, The Watcher, The Iron Captain, The Drowned Man, The Princess in the Tower, etc.

Unless it's a new name (Alayne, Reek, Cat, Mercy), George exclusively uses the instead of a.

Why does it change for this one chapter?

I don't know, but I can't help but feel that if it was 'The Ghost in Winterfell' the title reveals Theon as the murderer, whereas 'A Ghost in Winterfell' leaves it a mystery.

Okay, I'm crazy. I'll shut up now. It was the spearwives ...

or was it.

-> return to menu <-

[squidkidnerd]

Operation Atlantis Notes - "Sango" (Chapter 8)

Chapter 8! We're only 2 chapters away from the end of part 1 guys, can you believe it? The end of part 1 is in 2 chapters! Woohoo! I am so happy about this information. The end of part 1! Just two chapters away, oh wo—

So, this chapter was pretty fun to write. I finally feel like I'm starting to hit my stride with these, so hopefully that means I can get them out faster (or not, because Side Order busted into my house and gave me a million plot ideas because of course it did). As you probably know from reading the chapter, this one is another transition (like last chapter... and chapter 6... and chapter 4). Aka, there's a hefty chunk of filler and not much major plot stuff going on, but hey. You need build up for plot points to actually work. And besides, it's pretty fun.

Something I really enjoyed about this chapter compared to the similar ones I've written, though, is the foreshadowing. As you probably could've guessed, there's some big and juicy stuff coming up in Chapter 9. Look forward to that whenever it comes out (which may be a while because again, Side Order busted into my house with a million plot ideas).

Opening poem: I like this one. It's pretty simple, and sweet. The flower metaphor also works well with later in the chapter. Not much to say about this one, it's just about Eight's journey as a whole and not anything specific.

The Interview: Oh look, it's Lila again. Not much to say about this particular scene. As you could've guessed, I really like reusing characters when I can because it gives more depth and dimension to them instead of them only appearing like, in one specific set of circumstances. Giving them different opinions helps too! Anyways, onto something more substantial.

Eight, Three, and the Calamari Inkantation: Oh no, it's my greatest weakness—cute agent 24 scenes! So yeah, I love this scene. Eight and Three are so absurdly, astronomically different from each other, and yet here they are, connecting over a simple song. The symbolism of the Inkantation in general is something I really love, because art really does hold the power to connect people. You guys are all connected to me through this fic, after all! Three singing it isn't only just about giving Eight the rest of the lyrics, it's an expression of vulnerability. Three is self-conscious about her singing, but she sings it anyways. Why? Because she wants to connect with Eight. And at the end of the day, what is connection but not continued moments of mutual vulnerability?

Turfing!: Woot woot, it's Three beating people up time! Fun fact, I wrote part of this scene in my crowded high school cafeteria. You think I would learn from this mistake, but I'm typing this right now in my crowded high school cafeteria. Anyways, I thought incorporating Three's confusion about Splatoon 2 mechanics added a little spice to this scene. Also, I had to reference the orange-blue color palette just because. You know, because it's the classic colors of the first game, and because of Inner Agent 3... I'm sure the latter won't be relevant later :).

Investigating at the Library: These were a sweet couple of scenes to write. I love Iso Padre, especially when he shows his caring side. I imagine his hugs are very pleasant due to having multiple arms. Anyways, it was interesting to write Eight's reaction learning about Inkling-Octarian history. Because she doesn't remember it, she really doesn't empathize with it in the way she should. The way I see it, it's like learning about history that happened before you were born versus what you actually remember. Broad overviews of history are essential to get the context, but you can only understand the emotions through more specific accounts.

The Void of Eight's Past: Okay, this isn't a scene technically, but a paragraph, but I wanted to highlight (it's right at the end of the library scene, and begins with "Eight grabbed it."). And well, that's because my beta really liked it, and looking back on it, I do as well. There's a sort of horror to Eight's amnesia that I've seen crop up in several fics—this idea of not knowing who you are, of your memories, which are everything that makes you you, being stripped from you. I absolutely adore it, and I wanted to explore it here. My beta also told me that's how they feel being mixed sometimes, which I think is pretty cool! I'm not so I didn't necessarily write it with that in mind, but I'm glad they connected with that! Overall, I think it shows how we're more similar than different... that kinda got off topic.

Fates and Daffodils: One of my favorite things about the market scene was inserting my Octarian headcanons, particularly about the Fates. I really like the concept of the three of them and I can't wait to weave their symbolism into the rest of the fic. With Haisho, who represents growth, I felt it fitting to tie her to plants. Flowers in particular are connected to her because their blooms represent the beauty that can come from growth. With that in mind, of course I had to put in some flower symbolism. As mentioned in the fic, daffodils are one of the first flowers of spring—which for Eight, represents the beginning of her healing after the "winter" of losing her memories. What will happen next? Who knows.

Selfie at Central Park: This scene. THIS SCENE!!! I'm gonna be real with you guys, this is one of my favorite scenes of Eight and Three interacting that I've written so far. There's just something so tender and vulnerable about it, but at the same time, withdrawn. It strikes a great balance, I think, of both the vulnerability and awkwardness present in Three and Eight's relationship at this time. They're both starting to see each other in a different life—Three is starting to see Eight as more than a generic enemy of her people (and maybe even a friend shhh), and Eight is realizing that despite how she acts sometimes, Three is ultimately not as scary as Eight thinks them. The selfie, in fact, not only serves as a release of tension, but also a form of symbolism. This is one of the first times Three and Eight truly connect... what will mean in the future?

Mundane (Or Ominous) News?: Not much to say about this scene other than it will be probably be a fun one to reread once chapter 9 comes out. Yeah, it's foreshadowing. What could it mean? Who knows? (I know). I really love playing up the kinda unsettling imagery surrounding Eight's memory loss, so I'm glad I got to put that here.

And there you go, that's chapter 8! As you probably could've guessed, chapter 9 is a big one. It's the penultimate chapter of part 1, after all, so it makes sense. I'm really looking forward to writing it! However... Side Order busted into my house and gave me fic ideas, because of course we can't have nice things. Look, I absolutely love alternate realities that affect people not physically but psychologically (is a Persona fan) okay! Of course I came up with plot ideas. The main one I have in mind is Monochrome Malaise, which is sorta-rewrite that fixes some issues I had with Side Order. It's very fun and I can't wait to get into writing it! However, I also really want to get part 1 of this thing finally fully OUT and I can't do that working on an entirely separate project, so... Yeah. Who knows what'll do. Whatever happens, I'll let you guys know. No matter how long we go between updates, I'll never abandon this fic!

[fushiglow]

Do you think there's a chance of Suguru Geto regaining control of his body?

I was *so* sure until the latest chapter, but now I have doubts.

For me, Getō regaining control won't have as much impact if Gojō isn't around. I don't want to reduce Getō's character to his relationship with Gojō but, at the same time, he's the reason Getō responded in Shibuya. Their bond is strong enough to reach across the chasm between the living and the dead.

If Kenjaku was telling the truth when they said it had never happened before, then it's safe to assume that a bond of this strength is exceptionally rare, so I don't really see Getō coming back for anyone else.

Therefore, instead of foreshadowing for Getō's return, I'm wondering if that moment in Shibuya is general foreshadowing for something as yet unrevealed about the relationship between the body and the soul. Some people have suggested that Kenjaku is slowly taking on the traits, thoughts, and feelings of the people whose bodies they have inhabited — hence the 'thank you for getting along with my son' moment.

I really like the idea that the people whose bodies Kenjaku violated will play a part in their downfall, but Kenjaku doesn't seem worried about it. Based on the below comment from towards the end of the Shibuya arc, I wonder whether Kenjaku is somewhat used to navigating the bleed between two souls inhabiting one body. After all, it's reasonable to assume that they know more about the phenomenon than anyone else, but maybe that confidence will come back to bite them in the end.

Still, there are lots of people inhabiting other people's bodies in Jujutsu Kaisen, so the foreshadowing may not even apply to Kenjaku. It might transpire that that moment in Shibuya was just Akutami laying the groundwork for the Toji resurrection and his interaction with Megumi afterwards.

However, that in itself is suspicious to me. After 236, I've seen so many people saying with absolute certainty that Gojō can't or won't come back — but this is a story where resurrection and defying death are surprisingly common. As Toji demonstrates, you don't even have to come back in your own body!

When I think of it in those terms, Getō's odds of regaining control of his body actually seem pretty good, but narratively I don't think it would make sense unless Satoru came back too. I'm not expecting that to happen, but I do think Akutami has left the door open in the latest chapter. After all, airports are liminal spaces, and you could argue that Getō has been stuck in a transitional place between life and death for some time now. I'm not sure he can 'cross over' fully until his body is laid to rest, and I *really* thought Gojō would do that for him.

So, I guess for me it's both of them or neither of them, and I'd lean towards the latter. However, while I don't want to theorise too much about the north vs south thing because I think it's deliberately ambiguous, Gojō and Getō are facing the same direction in 236. At the time the chapter takes place, they've each got one foot in the world of the living and one foot in the afterlife, and stranger things have happened in Jujutsu Kaisen.

TL;DR: I dunno lol but nothing would surprise me anymore!! Thanks for the ask, I loved thinking about this 🖤

[bonesandthebees]

thoughts and questions that didnt get in my comments bc I needed to let them bounce around my brain for a bit 2/2?

okay so wilburs breakdown scene and going from "the pythia" to "he" to "wilbur" even for just a moment, we're all freaking out about bc JDHSHDBDBD OBVIOUSLY HE WAS REFERED TO AS WILBUR and everyone talked about it a lot

but I would like to point out how this scene foreshadowes how this whole healing process is probably going to look like

the whole thing was triggered by techno pressuring wil and putting him in an uncomfortable position and going against him, to which is not the right thing to do, but in this situation the way to get forward

than comes the part where HE TAKES OFF HIS BLINDFOLD AND IS IN THE CAVES IN COMPLETE DARKNESS and it goes from "the pythia" to "he" bc first he has to get rid of all the brainwashing, dehumanisation and just what they made him into to be the pythia, including wearing the blindfold, before he can even start to try and find himself, the "wilbur" part

ofc he returned right back to being "the pythia", but thats just how progress and healing works, its not linear and you keep going forward only to go right back

it's not pretty and it's not enjoyable and wilbur is going to have a really bad time, but hopefully it's going to be worth it later down the line

and we can only hope that tommy will be there in the future to offer some comfort, just like he did now

a little detail that I noticed and would really like to point out is how whenever talking about his role as pythia wilbur keeps using the same words/phrases and i think it was even mentioned in the chapter that hes basically repeating previous pythias words and i would just like to say how cool and thought out that is, the brainwashing is written so well to the details and it makes me want to scream, you are absolutely amazing and I love your writing so much

i am absolutely obsessed with tagd!crimeboys (or honestly just crimeboys in your fics in general, every time they are very different yet so fatally same)

how they are getting touchy after wilbur basically admitted hes touch starved, the unfounded trust that shouldnt exist, but is there, the way they care about each other and tbh even the dependence and attachment that is there (especially from wilburs side considering tommy is almost his only "friend" in all this)

also jack and niki, theyre everything to me and im so glad you have them in so many of your fics theyre consistently my favourite characters and I love them so much

you dont get them in fics very often especially not this full fledged which is a shame bc theyre very cool and im so happy you give them such big roles

thats all I got for now, hope youre having a good time

:))) I love reading analysis of the cave 'wilbur' scene it was so fun for me to write. i loved the transition from 'pythia' to just using pronouns to calling him 'wilbur' just once

also yes healing is not linear. it's messy and you can take steps back and jump forward before falling back again. this was a step forward, and then of course a step went back but it still mattered. it's definitely going to be worth it later down the line though i promise :)

aaa thank you i'm also so obsessed with glass!crimeboys they mean SO much to me. they're such a messy and (future) codependent iteration of crimeboys (all c!crimeboys are codependent it's just like. especially obvious in glass lol)

i LOVED c!jack and c!niki on the dsmp, so I love including them in my fics and giving them main side roles. they're both so fun for me to write and i love their dynamics with crimeboys. i love love love writing jack's dialogue because he's so funny, and i adore niki as a character because of how complex she is (jack ofc is complex too but i just really adore niki)

tysm for this so glad you're enjoying!!

[meeblo]

I'm now realizing that while I've had it as my tumblr banner and said my blog had spoilers for it in my bio, I don't think I've ever actually posted anything about TBWF. Figured I'd make a post about it to recommend it to those who've never heard of it.

The Boy Who Fell (https://www.boywhofell.com/comic/ch00p00) is a longrunning webcomic by @boggmann, otherwise known as starfleetrambo (or SFR, or suffer). The comic started I believe as early as 2009 or 2010, before migrating to a different website in 2015.

Here is the synopsis as the website itself gives it:

The Boy Who Fell revolves around an innocent, softhearted and almost-spineless boy named Ren who suddenly finds himself in Hell after accidentally falling off a school rooftop. He is then forced to partake in a tournament full of powerful and vicious beings in order to attain his only way of going home: an all-powerful wish from the ruler of Hell himself. As the story progresses, lines between allies and enemies are blurred, dark pasts are revealed, political issues come to light and all the while, Ren slowly realizes that in order to survive this journey, he might have to give up the very things that make him human.

Don't let the tournament structure mentioned in the blurb give you the wrong expectations: the series is highly character focused and very tightly plotted. The series is neither power fantasy nor focused on power scaling, and it doesn't have filler fights. Every fight shown is shown for a reason and matters for the characters involved; unimportant fights are left off screen or breezed through quickly to devote more time to the character conflicts that really drive the series.

If I had to pick one thing that I think is the series' greatest strength, it's the characters and their arcs. Characters are complex and multilayered, with fascinating development as they progress in some areas while backsliding in others. This lends a multidirectionality to every character's growth as different aspects of them are changing for better or for worse at a given time due to various influences. Characters will attempt to influence each other positively, helping greatly in some regards but unknowingly reinforcing their own harmful biases in the other character. Characters may appear helpful and benevolent while toying with or corrupting someone to their own ends or simply for amusement. Seeing the cast, especially Ren, get both noticeably better and noticeably worse in various ways lends a richness to the story that makes every interaction gripping to read.

The story is quite good at slowly building up to reveals and recontextualizing prior events. As mentioned above, characters have biases and the things Ren learns are filtered through those biases. Seeing things through a new lens when those biases are confronted, made clear, or shaken off is fascinating. While the early sections of the comic are less complex than later on as the author gets much more skilled at, they are fascinating to reread due to the amount of things clearly planned out and set up from very early on. Characters who are vitally important 50 chapters later will be foreshadowed from the first handful of chapters of the series, or just straight up appear if you know where to look. Characters read entirely differently when you know what they were saying honestly and what was deception, or when you know the backstory that drives them to act how they do.

The series is initially black and white, with an art style that makes a distinctive heavy use of screentone. Later on, the series transitions to full color in chapter 29. The art gets very good as the series goes on, with some very well set up page structures and paneling that is easy to read while also being dynamic and enhancing the tone of each scene. The series reads right to left by the way.

The series also has a few spinoffs of varying lengths, such as Springtime of Yuuth, an AU where Ren never got dragged off the roof that has a romance focus mixed with working through more down to earth problems in Ren's life, Watchtower and Mapmaker, following a young demon boy who lives in a tower in the desert, Falltime of Ren, a sort of crossover with SoY in which the Ren from the main series gets to spend a brief emotional time in the world of SoY before returning to hell again, The Forest, a prequel chapter exploring some of the backstory of two major characters introduced later in the story (this one costs $5 but it's 200% worth it), Yuu vs the Cosmic Unknown, which is a short goofy Scott Pilgrim parody with eldritch exes rather than evil exes, and Spirit Bathhouse, the NSFW one.

The series and its spinoffs are currently on an indefinite hiatus while the author works on getting her PhD, but the series is absolutely worth reading (and rereading and rereading again) while it's ongoing. Leave positive comments and wish the author well on their PhD if you enjoy the series!

I'm generally bad at judging these sorts of things but I guess trigger warnings for blood at some points? Rarely there's gore. TW for manipulation and gaslighting. Is that a thing people need trigger warnings for? I'm not sure.

Here's the link to the first page again. I'd avoid looking ahead in the archive, some chapter covers are spoilers. Likewise, just going to boywhofell.com without anything else in the link takes you to the latest page, so watch out for that.

[roosterbruiser]

SOBBIJG OVER THE NEWEST CHAPTER OF CS BECAUSE I LOVE JAKE HE CANT DIE 😭 i fuckint hate rooster I KNEW IT that son of a bitch.

However, Roos’ is like the only perspective I can’t recall having seen? So your foreshadowing..subtle, immaculate, beautiful.

But also when Bob is dying and he mentions Vonnegut (one of my favs) then you say

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE YOU!!! This allusion had me gripping my bedsheets while I bawled violently!!! Because YES it’s so Bob to not only READ Vonnegut but take his words to heart, integrate the truths and fears revealed into his own philosophy so deeply that they arise in his mind ON HIS DEATHBED, such amazing writing and characterization.

And the changes in perspective and TIME?? Like transferring from Bob’s formative memories to Mable’s formative memories here??

Holy fucking shit! You’re such an amazing writer!! Plus I can see how Vonnegut’s style has impacted your writing now that I’m thinking about it, where else do we see gorgeous transitions through time like this?

LOVE, YOURS TRULY, Az 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

these are some of my favorite kinds of comments, this means so much to me!!!!

this literally tickled me pink. as someone who loves Kurt Vonnegut and literally read it in my car in high school before class was in session and bawled my eyes out (art imitates life) this is such a high compliment. I wanna cry!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH, BABY!!!! THIS IS SO SWEET, AZ!!!! MWAH!!!

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 18

Which is about Victor doing what he does best - nothing!

Well, except maybe moping. Sure, take weeks to get off your arse. What could possibly go wrong? Eh, people might die, but whatever. Victor is back to health, so who cares? IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 18

The world revolves around him again; all is well. Why is nobody grieving anymore? They had a couple pretty hefty losses.

Mary Shelley’s insistence that good weather is all that’s needed to cure unholy rage or depressions is getting weird. Well, if that doesn’t do the trick, get engaged!

“You were attached to each other from your earliest infancy” – which makes for a healthy romance, I’m sure. INCEST VIBES: 12

Frankenstein sr. even spells it out.

Though it doesn’t get spelled out in the text enough to give it an incest count, I find it interesting how not only Victor holds power over the Creature’s love life – it’s entirely on him to give the Creature a partner – but also the Creature holds power over Victor’s love life – Victor notes that he can’t enter marriage before he has fulfilled his promise. Kind of “a bride for me before a bride for you” lindworm prince dealie.

Gotta love how he secretly wishes for the Creature to just die in some accident so poor widdle baby Victor doesn’t have to bear the consequences of his actions any longer. How inconvenient that this guy exists! Wonder whose fault that is.

How does he wanna make a new Creature in about a year? Didn’t he need at least two for the first?

“he had in concert with Elizabeth arranged […]” – once more, I’m getting the impression that Elizabeth is less Victor’s partner and more his father’s in raising the kids, so, both counts. INCEST VIBES: 13

EVERY WOMAN IS A MOM: 9

“Nay, Henry might stand between me and the intrusion of my foe.” -.- Sure he does. Does Victor not have a brain, or does he just not give a fuck? I’m inclined to go with the latter.

“I might claim Elizabeth” … *throws up in the corner*

Then Victor goes and beats me with a dead herring. “Oh, good that he’ll come to England with me – can’t think of what he would do to my clueless family if he were around them!” Dumbfuck. Also, not good writing of foreshadowing, Shelley.

“she was filled with disquiet at the idea of my suffering, away from her” – of course. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 19

It couldn’t possibly be that, perhaps, she’s unhappy because you leave her alone in a time of grieving.

There’s our old POV fail again, mentioning the beautiful and majestic scenes and then saying he didn’t even notice them.

“…where I waited two days for Clerval. He came.” DAS GAY: 25

Geez, Victor, you need two days for that!? You’re really not good at that, are you? No, I’m not sorry.

Henry is sunshine personified. I wanna give him a lil’ kiss. What a cutie patootie himbo.

And then Shelley channels her travel experiences for a while, I guess. And waxes poetic. Fair enough. The thing about the priest and his mistress is running away from me, ah well.

“the most verdant islands that relieve the eye by their gay appearance” – what, are they swathed in rainbow colors or something? Happy Pride!

Victor begins gushing about sweet, sweet Henry and how deserving he was of any and all affection, which of course does not bode well.

“your form so divinely wrought, and beaming with beauty” o.O DAS GAY: 26

Victor, you’re gonna make Cpt. Walton jealous.

Is it possible Mary Shelley is putting too much time into these travels in an attempt to be historically accurate to a time before her lifetime? This “we need four freaking months to go anywhere” feels kind of medieval, if even that. But there’s London, here’s the fan, and the shit is already incoming.

While Frankenstein is a brilliant piece of literature, it occasionally shows how young Shelley was when she wrote it. The poor time transitions, the heavy-handed foreshadowing, the POV lapses here and there, the occasions when the plot just screeches to a halt to give us a ton of exposition, the way detailed descriptions. Kind of typical for a new writer, even in our times. I'm still blaming the husband for the purple prose and thesaurus syndrome tho.

[ormspryde]

May I get 9 and 19 for the writers asks?

Absolutely!

9. what's your writing process like?

The amount of words I put out in a day can vary wildly, from a few hundred words to up to 3000 if I'm really motivated. However, the process is pretty similar in all cases.

For my current 'big thing', Seer of the Dead, I started by writing a very loose outline. I scrapped the majority of it partway through, but it was a jumping off point, and my second outline is much more secure. Either way, it was a jumping off point, and I have found outlines to be absolutely essential.

When I go to write, I try to think if there's a scene or maybe even a side story that jumps out at me. Like many other AuDHD people I know, I have difficult getting started; and working up something specific, even if it's going to be heavily edited later, helps to 'break the seal' on the day's writing, so to speak. If nothing appeals, sometimes I'll read through and do some editing, and that also helps get me started.

Editing for me happens in two or more passes - usually at least three, but up to five if I'm feeling insecure about my writing that day. The first pass or couple of passes, dealing with the roughest of rough drafts, I'll go through and look for consistency mistakes, places where I could stand to add more detail (I suck at describing stuff tbh, so I try to add more description at this point). Sometimes I'll find a place where the transition between one paragraph and another seems abrupt and write more to put there, or a good place to put some foreshadowing. Basically anywhere the story needs something more. Sometimes I'll find something that needs to be cut during this part; usually I like to take that and save it in my notes folder.

The last few passes, I use to check for spelling or grammatical errors. That's not to say that I don't correct those if I see them, they're just not my focus until I get to the end of this process. A lot of the time, my very last read through is just to satisfy myself that the writing's as good as I can make it and to appease the anxiety demons before I send my baby out into the cold, cruel world.

19. If you could write an ideal fic, what would it include?

You know, it's really hard to say. Right now, I think Seer of the Dead is the closest I could get to an ideal fic for me; I'm getting a ton of very enjoyable practice with description, worldbuilding, giving characters backstories, and just generally writing something that's a bit lengthier and heftier in plot than the 1k-2k character exploration fics that I've been writing since I started writing fanfiction in college over twenty years ago. (I'm old, yes) Tbh I wish I'd realized the power of outlines decades ago, but I'm realizing it now.

As well as being great practice, I'm enjoying a lot of self-indulgent moments with this fic; putting in references to things that please me, still writing those character explorations but putting them in the middle of actual plot...it's really really great. Not too long ago I wrote up a 3000 word chapter that included great detail of one of the characters going to an open-air market in Zaphias and I enjoyed the hell out of it too.

So there's that; something that allows me to improve my craft AND be self-indulgent.