#and becomes useless bc i dont know how to help

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Ended up vomiting a couple of times at work this morning for unknown reasons (tho tbh I suspect exhaustion. I'm eating better but I'm absolutely not getting enough/consistent sleep) and the senior on shift managed to cover for me (honestly kind of a nice experience, having both her and the temp agency staff expressing genuine sympathy and concern lol. Fucked up that I don't expect that in a work environment, the temp especially was lovely and went out of her way to reassure me leaving was the responsible move)

Anyway I actually had a lovely morning in spite of that. JC was bubbly as anything (Alfie was working next door last night so came in to say hi and he lit up, immidiately demanded a hug and got them to sit with him for a bit, and was the absolute sweetest with me too ("oh, be good to Maaaac! :D")

And I had...maybe the first positive experience with SF thst I am making damn sure I remember. He had just woken up and was gettingna bit excitable so I sat with him and started singing This Little Piggy bc it was the first nursery rhyme that came to mind. And he immidiately stopped what he was doing, beamed at me, and after I'd done it once he started singing it along with me! He's somewhat verbal but typically only single words. I'm so relieved I got to actually see the sweet lil kid that's going through it bc it's so easy for me to get lost mirroring his stress

[etherealkissed88]

you are always embodying a version of you 🍭

“ive been feeling stuck for 2 years” -> embodying that state

“its not gonna manifest” -> embodying that state

“she still didnt text me back” -> embodying that state

when you assume its nothing is changing, you are simply embodying that version of you who believes that. you are always embodying a version of you out of the infinite versions of you that already exist.

there is no “original” state or “realer” state. even if the state is expressed in the imaginary 3d, it is not “realer” than any other state. we know the 3d is neutral and doesnt mean anything so giving value to something in the 3d makes no sense.

remember that you are the self that occupies states. these states mean nothing without you. states are useless bubbles without you embodying/occupying it. even when you embody them they are nothing bc you always assign meaning.

next time you feel like youre “stuck”, know its all just a state and theres nothing to be afraid of. states are below you, states need you, you (self) dont need states. you are beyond these “im stuck” states. there is no “struggle,” there is only states being embodied. you can simply embody another state (regardless of the 3d). be the desired version of you.

when you feel stuck:

know its only a state, you are always embodying a state (so theres nothing to be afraid of bc its just a state) and identify the state you are currently embodying that doesnt serve you

embody a different, better state via deciding or techniques + fulfill

its so simple. it seems harder because you think what the human self is experiencing in the 3d is the “real” thing when in reality, none of it is real (bc everything is neutral) and you choose what to experience and you are instantly any version if you that you choose.

the funny thing is that while you search for answers “outside” of you, the solution is literally the version of you you are embodying. you are the problem and solution. you see how you always have full control even when you dont realize it? something that helps me is: if i was this desired version of me, would i care about (blah blah)? that helps me embody a more beneficial state.

once you embody a version of you, its done. its already yours. creation is finished yes? remember how i said there are always infinite versions of you? exactly. you arent creating anything, you are only being. so once you become a version of you, everything changes and that is who you are. there is nothing else to do but know its done bc it is. stop falling into the “im stuck” loop and know that is only what youre embodying.

be sexy and change states 💋🍫

kisses, jani ☆

[fairuzfan]

why do so many liberal zionists add "non-palestinian" in front of "non-jewish" whenever they complain about antizionists and insist that all the palestinians are just offscreen agreeing with them about the real way to peace? do they not realize palestinians have social media accounts or are they just banking on everyone else also isolating themselves in a zionist echo chamber with no actual palestinians to contradict them? bc theyre not convincing anyone who knows that every single palestinian on here and online in general fucking hates them. like i know it's a rhetorical darvo to paint antizionism as a privileged western gentile position of ppl that can't possibly understand the complex issue who just want to hate Bad Jews but its so insane to see them rbing literal palestinians to call them raging antisemites and then the next post is about how every palestinian actually supports a two state solution and condemns hamas and this is spearheaded by "western tankie gentiles"

i havent been like interacting with zionists or looking at their blogs these past couple months because i can't take that much anger in my life anymore and ive come to the point where it doesn't matter what they say they're seriously intellectually dishonest and useless. the people who listen to them and agree with them have a vested interest in keeping the state of israel functioning and if they wanna pretend its for "peace" go right ahead but dont pretend like youre the authority on these things lol. in general ive only taken to reblogging zionist additions to my posts to let people know to block.

it might be the latest zionist strategy of saying "non palestinians and nonjews" to reinforce the idea that its an "internal" issue (which its not to be clear) and they proceed to ignore the fact that palestinians are begging people to get involved to help them. but whatever! the people who are convinced by them at this point are people who genuinely dont care about palestinians at all and i am not willing to argue with them on this.

i will say, zionists on here have become more brazenly pro-fascist! either in interacting with fascists or letting fascist speak in their spaces or even just defending them under the guise of "defending jews" (think of the bingo blocklist. they're still at it btw, the bingo board, but like i have yet to see a single person on the zionist side of tumblr at all admonish the idea of the bingo at all which is telling in itself.) anyways these people are disgusting and selfish and like i say, i abhor selfishness more than anything.

[moonstandardtime]

im thinking about loop. as usual. but today im putting a fun spin on things and thinking specifically about my botw au loop.

heres my original drawing of them from last year + another image for cropping. it feels pretty self-evident to me but this may be an instance of the one xqcd comic. about accidentally assuming what is common knowledge.

so. loop is fi. fi from skyward sword not breath of the wild yes. heres a little lesson on the zelda timeline for those of you who havent read the hyrule historia book cover to cover.

pre skyward sword—there is a manga in the back of hyrule historia about the first hero. the one before sksw link, who is the "first hero". this actual (non-canon, probably) first hero was wrongfully imprisoned for vaguely specified reasons that i dont remember and thus wasnt really able to do his hero things. i guess. and hylia (not zelda yet) who was in love with him . well shes important i dont rlly remember how shes relevant to this link specifically. but link sacrifices himself for the good of the people and hylia sends up the sky islands that would later become skyloft and others. because theres a war happening i forgot to mention that. i think the master sword is relevant but can you tell its been a while since ive read this. because it has.

and now the master sword. i havent actually finished sksw and dont know the whole story even though i really. should by now. but i know the basics. fi is the spirit of the master sword and i think she was made by hylia to aid in that whole war i mentioned. or something like that. shes only present in sksw but technically shes in botw too bc the master sword speaks to zelda and uses her little chime and like. obviously thats a callback to sksw.

so. loop.

loop in this au is the first hero. kiind of. theyre more of the chosen hero (sksw) in terms of story elements but first hero in terms of like, situation? this gets into a lot of the Lore which ii wont explain. bc that would like triple the length of this post. but BASICALLY the rundown of the situation is that Loop is in a Situationship (aka messy QPR) with Change's First Chosen (aka Mirabelle); Chosen gets nabbed by the first King; Loop sacrifices themself to save her. the Chosen then puts Loop's soul in their sword bc of how much she cares for them. and maybe kills the King with it for dramatic effect.

and then the Universe and Change God are so moved* by this they decide if it aint broke dont fix it. and thus begins the Cycle. and also i suppose there is the Curse.

(*the universe just saw a Situation that tied itself up in a neat bow while also progressing things and was like yeah ok lets just keep doing that. and change went along with it bc they were actually moved by it. and wanted to play toys)

SO. now Loop is in the sword. dead. tragic. aand (fast forward several thousand years and heroes (and theres one in particular they remember so well. they dont speak of him. he doesnt matter anymore.)) here comes a Siffrin who. also dies! but gets to come back and try again. because life just isnt fair i guess. and this motherfucker is so useless (helpless) and doesnt know anything and they cant just watch it all go wrong again so. they break their several thousand year silence and help him.

jazz hands ✨️ there it is thats my loop lore. yayy

[jackieandwilsonbyhozier]

hi hello is anyone out there ? i need real life adult advice or maybe i just need ppl to pretend to listen to me so would anyone mind pretending for a moment. ok thank u

ill make it quick for the poll but put my actual thoughts under a readmore bc i have a lot to say sry....anyway vote in the poll reply reblog send me asks whatever just somebody help me for the love of god.

basically i hate my job and its killing my soul but im making pretty good money ($20/hour) but now they want to promote me to a manager which will kill my soul even more, but ill be making $27/hour. i kind of just want to quit but now theres that, plus if i stay for 2.5 more years i can sell my company stocks and get another big bonus. but again its fucking killing me working here

so i have been at my retail job for 2.5 years im a department manager and im very comfortable and confident in my position also im making $20 an hour which is great. i just got like a semi promotion i guess so now on days when they dont have a manager to close (usually 2 days a week) im the manager on duty and those days i make $22 an hour

however now they rly want to promote me to a manager full time. like the store manager and assistant manager r both telling me how great i would be and even the fcking district manager apparently agrees and wants me. i would be making ! $27 ! an hour which tbh is the only thing actually tempting me

i honestly kind of hate being a manager. i mean i like working with like the product and planning and paperwork and that stuff im confident in that but i hate hate hate actually having to manage PEOPLE. coworkers AND customers. im an extremely sensitive timid pushover-y person i just am and that is where i face the most difficulty. angry customers make me panic and i cant make myself be assertive enough for any of my coworkers to listen to anything i say

and most of all i hate the like manager culture/attitude. if uve worked in retail or probably anywhere else maybe ull know what i mean. like laughing at ur workers bc they asked for accommodations, making fun of them bc theyre all stupid and useless, chasing homeless ppl out of the store and shouting insults at them, basically just being a bully bc u know u can cuz ur in charge. and i rly rly dont want to participate in that and wont but then the other managers wont respect me lol

and actually bottom line is im sick to death of retail. this job is already draining me and if i become a manager im afraid itll be worse. obviously customers kill me and i would be happy if the rest of my life i never had to serve another customer. but even besides them. it takes me over an hour to bus to work and that wasted time adds up. i kind of put my all into work so when i get home i dont have the energy to do literally anything else. i dont know how to have a work/life balance i only know how to work. im a little bit living in filth it feels like bc i cant make myself do chores or take care of myself it feels like my life is just work, and then being at home waiting to have to go back to work

i havent gotten new piercings or tattoos in a couple years, and i havent cut or dyed my hair in over a year, its back to plain brown which i havent seen since i was like 17. its kind of killing my spirit not to be dramatic but thats the truth. art and creativity are the most important things to me and i feel like im losing myself bc i dont have the energy to keep up with stuff like that anymore the stuff i rly care about like my self expression, i feel like im killing myself in order to turn myself into a normie ass-kissing servant. i dont even draw anymore i dont do shit. im honestly kind of depressed as fuck. i mean i also havent been on my meds for over a year now which im sure isnt helping

but.........if i keep this up i could be making $27 an hour :-) the position is more than just being handed to me theyre practically begging me to take it. also another thing about my job is that u somehow accumulate/earn (?) stocks in the company, and after uve been here for 5 years u can sell them. but only if uve been working for 5 years. if u leave before that u lose them all. so if i stay another 2.5 years ill get another big bonus when i leave. but the thought of staying here that long kind of makes me wanna die😭

because thats the thing too and my final point, i honestly dont need the money. im 100% fine financially where i am rn. i have enough that i can pay my bills and put a lot in savings and buy my fun treats and whatever and i literally never ever worry about money this is the most money ive had in my life ive saved up quite a bit too. even if i just quit my job rn i would be good for like at least six months probably more. but i rly love being in this position financially lol. like im literally just like i love money yes i want more money thats the only thing making me want to stay

so i guess after typing all that out i can confidently say i dont like this job at all i just love money. im earning a lot already but i could be earning even more if i take the promotion but i AM losing my mind and kind of dont even want to work here at all anymore. i honestly dont know whats worth it i know all work is soul sucking and miserable so like should i just be grateful for what i have?? and what im being offered??

what i rly actually want to do is become a tattoo artist. i think i would be a lot happier and freer but my income would be a lot more uncertain as well which im very scared of like idk i havent been like tight on money and struggling in so long i dont want to give it up like ive been running like this so long idk how to stop. i rly dont know what to do

[gabapentinblues]

journal pt 2

too tired to sh. dont even want to know how many calories i consumed today. definitely a lot. my pmdd is making me miserable my boobs hurt so bad and i want to die.

im so tired of everything. laying in bed at barely 7pm, still light out, going to go to sleep i dont care. my vertigo is so bad, being awake is miserable. dont really have anyone to talk to rn and i dont want to talk to anyone anyway. i just want to stop existing and going to sleep is the closest i can get to that.

im absolutely ruining my lungs with the vape that i bought and i dont even care. maybe i'll try to go without it for a day. maybe i wont be a total crash out tomorrow. im so useless. i do nothing with my time, not the things i enjoy, nothing productive, nothing worthwhile, nothing at all.

im ready for my day to end i think. i just feel like im screaming into an empty void. all of my journal entries read the same, its just me saying i want to die over and over and i dont think it will ever change.

i cant overstate how serious i am that i dont see a future for myself at all. i dont see things getting better, i dont see a way out, i dont believe in myself, i thought i was getting somewhere but it's all been for nothing, it doesnt matter that im here and i wish it wouldn't matter that im gone.

theres no easy way for me to disappear, no good way for me to end it. i wish i could just end it all and become part of the cosmic dust and have no awareness of anything, this world is so pointless. there's nothing i enjoy theres nothing i care about. maybe one day the strangers i live with will notice how empty i am inside.

this feels like the only thing that i have. confessing this all into the ether, im so incredibly depressed and it feels like there's nothing that will help me. worse yet i want to challenge anyone who tries. i want to pick fights and push people away bc i know that ultimately i could get anyone and everyone to give up on me,

ive given up on myself. im looking for a job but i dont think that will fix anything. i think i'll still be the same. just a prolonging of things and slight relief of the guilt i feel for the way i exist now. im worth nothing. im accomplishing nothing, contributing nothing, improving nothing, my presence has no value. i dont know why anyone would say that it does,

i dont know when i'll ever grow up and stop typing these long tirades on the internet for no one to read. i guess if anyone ever find them they'll know how long i held on for, so much longer than i wanted to. everyday i wake up and all i can do is wait for the next time i get to sleep. my friends try to check on me and i just want to push them away.

im ungrateful and unworthy. i want to make an attempt at ending my life so badly. i want for no one to expect anything of me ever again. i want to become morbidly overweight and just eat myself and drink myself to death until my body completely fails on me. thats all i am is a failure. a miserable failure of a person with nothing good to offer.

i feel like no one takes me seriously, and i guess why should they im never going to do anything anyway. im never going to end my life because im too pathetic i have too many people selfishly keeping me here. i'll never be able to do it, all i can do is start self harming again, thats the only thing i really have

and i will start self harming again, ive decided i dont care about scars i dont care about upsetting people i dont care about anyone seeing im just going to do it, i tried to recover and i just dont care anymore. i dont care about anything. i wish i had stayed in my apartment and decided to rot away and die in debt there,

im in so much debt and my life is completely worthless. theres no way i'll ever be able to pay it back, im a failure and a disappointment and it haunts me.

my body is so deeply uncomfortable i dont want to be in it, i want to die, i want to walk into traffic. i want to buy a gun and go to the lobby of the clinic i owe money to and shoot myself in the head, thats what they want from me. they want me dead, they never cared about helping me.

i feel so hopeless reaching out to people feels pointless i just want to push everyone away. i think everyone will get tired of me. eventually they will have to. eventually i'll get tired of living like this, something will have to change.

i just want death to come to me, i want to make myself sick or get in an accident and not have to think about any of it anymore.

[1tsjusty0u]

ok perhaps i would like to know more about the link/robbie fic. the ship has never occurred to me for some reason despite the whole "robbie went on a rampage throughout blatchery plain bc of link and to test out his new weapons" thing and now i'm so weirdly intrigued. alsoooo the omamori(?) one

OGH!! yeah i get that! part of it came with reading pre-cal fics and thinking ‘hm. i think robbie and link would get along’- trying to chat whenever he gets the chance and have it so hes not just. Standing There. accidentally setting something on fire while zeldas distracted by purah already having set something on fire and the building explodes leading for zelda afterwards to just stare extremely suspiciously at link. making an effort to include him basically </3 ALSO YEAH speaking of robbie did not actually go on a rampage! i remember that but in his diary it actually never mentions him going out there to test his weapons. which. is weird because i know that came from somewhere? but i forgot ….. more specifically his diary says “I’m sorry, Link… I spent so much of my life researching the Guardians… Even with all my knowledge, I wasn’t able to give you the weapons or power you needed to succeed.” which. really struck me?? a part of him seems to blame himself and considering he Now Gives link ancient armor that he once wasnt able to. he also says this when he first got to fort hateno. thats what he thought when he looked at the destroyed guardians. so i like to think they had Some form of a connection, one-sided or not. i just think its interesting because its like. almost nobody thinks like this in-game about link (which is Good and would set more implications than the game already has,) and it ties into like. pre-cal link (to me) not even being remotely normal. as someone who hcs (canon in wotb hahahahahahaahhaa peter griffin death pose) link to have Major Depression especially in the memory cutscenes and also how he was propped up as The Hero who can defeat Anything and is Awesomesauce partly as a way to ease worries about zelda Not having her powers but can also tie into military propaganda and the whole divine right thing but i digress and how he tried masking a lot of himself to look perfect in the eye of the public (accidentally making himself look More weird). the thought of someone recognizing that link didnt Have enough resources to go against the calamity, that robbie was Trying to help give the resources and power he needed. stares out into the abyss. also he thinks highly of link mentioning that ‘a master swordsman such as link who impressed king rhoam and became princess zeldas royal guard… well, even someone like that has their limits.’ (ALSO I SHOULD MENTION THIS IS A WATSONIAN EXPLANATION FOR THIS. I THINK THIS WAS ANOTHER ONE OF THE DEVS ‘ooohohohohh links So Special hes the Greatest of All Time Everyone Else shouldve just tried harder!’ MOMENTS AND I THINK THAT IS STUPID.)

OH HEHEH okok so this actually started out as a concept of ‘things everyone would give yomiel while hes in prison’ type deal (kamila would probably give mechanical keyboards with cool keyboard caps and some toys that she thought he would like. she would get him to play minecraft with her and they would build redstone together. jowd brings in painting stuff and printed photos to use as reference but also as keepsakes. probably stuff that would make painting just. Easier. alma would give office stationary and specific tech things and cabanela would give the same things he does to jowd: random specific items that couldnt be more useless if they tried until they become Absolutely Needee in One Specific Scenario in the future. also sunglass accessories for all of them. stickers on sunglasses for lynne.) SPEAKING OF the thing i came up for lynne was omamoris- theyre usually given as good luck charms or like Gifts in japan (citation: I Think). theres different kinds and you can get them specially made if the ones arent sold dont meet what you need. lynne specifically gives the yaku-yoke one (used for getting rid of bad luck or evil spirits). and for yomiel its less about the omamori itself (he is already in prison his life has been through the gutters. it Can get worse but by how much truly) but more of the thought of it. like for context lynne gives this to him back when she Just got saved or before shes a detective. only a couple of minutes ago he tried to Frame Her For Murder and have her rot in a cell unable to do anything meaningful. he literally just pointed a gun to her head but she still thanks him for saving her from getting crushed. the fact she went out searching for something to give him and genuinely thought of a thanks. also its not necessary but omamoris are usually replaced and returned to the shrine every new year to have better luck This Year. and so im having lynne also do this. he fully expected it to be a one time thing. It Is Not. once yomiels finally Out of prison he immediately gives jowd and lynne a kanai-azen (safety/well-being for someones family) as a way to ‘repay the debt’. in the end its mostly like. yomiel is no longer cut off. he has a support system now that genuinely means well and is there for him. time to actually Adjust to that. also sissel still visits. sissel is a daily visitor whether hes in cat form or Not. sorry this is less of a plot and more of ‘oh neat :D’. also some of the omamori lore may be wrong in which case: i am sorry

[mushibashiraas]

hello, people on the other side of the screen who read this! i have a migraine and my brain is processing shit so slow and i have no energy for my drafts. so imma release my selfship (rindou x em) brainrot for an idea i had.

bonten arc/kmg emrin where em stubbornly refuses to leave rin's side when he tells them too. he wants to protect them and give them a better life away from violence and crime. he wants to protect and keep shining their kind, compassionate soul alight.

bonten arc/kmg emrin with loyal em, because of personal health reasons and despite being physically unable to help rin and assist mikey and co. with their criminal activities,,, decides to take online courses for computer science and coding and hacking, etc.

bonten arc emrin with em staying home in rin's penthouse but still a bonten employee by keeping "an eye in the sky" for mikey and the execs and their own employees protecting them from the law.

bonten arc emrin where em is the only "sane" one who remembers why mikey took this path/for whom this path was for.

bonten arc emrin with em has bonten's secret beating heart; as long as em's "eye in the sky" continued overseeing everything and em kept an ear to the ground regarding info and what the police and random private investigators were up to,, then bonten could keep going. mikey could continue to protect his former toman friends and keep hina alive for takemichi.

bonten arc emrin with em keeping a personal eye on mikey's former toman friends and their families. bonten arc emrin personally delivering/doing "special" jobs for koko and sanzu (a walking USB file for koko's passwords and secret bank accounts & is sanzu's "secretary." helps sanzu track or find traitors, keeps a record of or follows money trails or info/paper trails traitors leave behind when they wanna leave bonten; think garcia from “criminal minds” tv show).

bonten arc emrin where the only ones who know of how valuable em is to bonten/know of their existence are rindou (obviously) but also mikey and the rest of the main bonten execs. the execs personal underlings dont know of em's existence bc who knows if they could betray bonten and come after or use em to bring bonten down. so the execs protect their existence for that reason. bonten in general know someone close to the execs is looking out for everyone (including the underlings) but they dont know who. so they just refer to this "unknown person" as bonten's guardian angel.

bonten arc emrin because em wants to be valuable to bonten despite their declining physical and mental health and not just sit at home and be useless to their lover's/husband's cause. (hence taking the online courses and becoming "bonten's beating heart")

note. i'm feeling migrainey/sick, a bit depressed, and angsty tn. and i'm missing rindou and missing tokyo revengers aaaaa i am sitting here eagerly awaiting my animated & voiced bonten rindoucjsjd plsss aaaaa

[plasmasimagination]

Hi! I hope You’re doing well and I wanted to ask who you’d match me with from HSR, preferably the guys because ahhahdjsbdks my pfp, but ignore jingy rn I want your true and honest opinion. (I don’t mind a female suggestion either)

I’m going to really try and keep this short (I feel like I will fail this as I literally over-explain everything—) but don’t feel pressured at all to reply to this or anything! (I kinda feel i alr did this but im forgetful too help-)

A quick summary:

I’m afab, like 160cm(5’2? With chest which I hate because I want the dark academia dressing style (i dont have money)), she/they, libra, INFP, I’m sorry, I haven’t really had the hyperfixation on sun moon and rising and well astrology stuff tbh 😭

My personality (a mess im so sorry):

Well, I don’t think I could tell you. What I know of myself is that I try to be honest, I am loyal to my friends and probably obsessive when someone shows me interest and i dont know- (there’s some mental disorders going around, along a suspicion of autism) Personally I see myself as a shy annoying brat, while in reality I don’t ever initiate conversation and never know what to say unless it’s about a hyperfixation or something—AGAIN I OVEREXPLAIN EVERYTHING. My mouth doesn’t work as well as I’d like to, I cry too much (imo) I’m sensitive to well a lot, I get overstimulated quickly depending on the situation and um well I’m a picky eater I guess.

RAHHH I LOVE FOOD. And I’m chubby. I’m VERY self conscious and messy (which I’m sure you’ve noticed if you got this far)

Fun fact! If i were to live alone (still living with parents because house market is hell) I’d probably forget to eat a lot/overeat even more than I already do. Why? Because I don’t feel it. I don’t feel a limit to my ‘hunger’ and I don’t even really think I feel hungry at times.

Also, I hate to be perceived by people. It makes me feel like… too much alive. I don’t really feel a connection between my mind and my body, like someone sees my body and I’m just: THAT AINT ME YALL PLEASE IT AINT MEEEEE 😭😭😭😭 but id never say that bc again, my mouth doesn’t work.

I think I’m pretty useless at a lot too, but I don’t mean for this to be a traumadump thingy, which I also don’t realise when I should stop or not like RIGHT NOW I SHOULD PROBABLY STOP (the doubt is real, I’m so sorry—)

LAST THING!

I’m a Jing Yuan simp, obviously, name and all, but I also firmly believe we wouldn’t be good together? Like he’d be great for me. But what would I bring to him? Besides messy thoughts and nothing?… Which is literally nothing. I want to be someone he could properly rely on and not just a hopeless random girlypop who stops processing information after something becomes a bit too much mentally.

I have my serious moments, which will for most part go unnoticed online, but it’s not like I’m inherently useful or whatever. I feel like I’m really lacking in lots of aspects, and yes I’m aware I’m not ‘old’ yet, but my thoughts eat me alive and I won’t be surprised if I well blablah me me me I hate talking about me. Nothing bad even happened I’m just weird at this point, apologies! (Im a mess, my mind is still that 12 year old kid who just wanted a good hug from her mom and a good chat with her mom without all the school and later college problems aghh I wanna be 5 again.)

ANYWAYS if you made it this far, kudos to your determination anddd i hope you stay hydrated! And eat well. Health before anything.

I FAILED TO KEEP IT SHORT. Sorry I- AAAA that’s how my brain is.

Good god jingsnuggler you're Litteraly the best request I've had in my inbox- (IM SORRY MY OTHER CUTIEPIES DONT GET JEALOUS)

And I also was scrolling from like bottom to top to write some request and saw your pfp and was like "wait didn't I just recently get another one of them?" And I was right >:} You really did stay in my memory HSHSHS anyways anyways not tryna chit chat too long since we know why you're here, and I'll use both of your submits to give you the perfect match...

Drumrolls please....

🥁🥁🥁

.

.

.

JING YUAN!

WAIT ! LISTEN IM NOT BIASED.

I genuinely with all of my heart think that you guys would be perfect like no joke

He would balance you out, just fine.

He's a gentle soul, and would find you very amusing and enjoy being around you

Your talkative and bubbly nature would soothe his soul and calm him even.

Sensitive personality? Don't worry Jing yuan will pat your head and tell you it's fine

Forget to eat? Jing yuan will take note of it. And make sure you never forget. Ever

Okay enough of fluff you said you don't think you have anything to offer for him while I strongly disagree

I think Jing yuan needs someone who can keep him entertained, someone that can talk to him, he's a lonely man believe it or not, he doesn't really interact much with plp other than Yanqing, and between you and me Yanqing is boring af

So he'll greatly appreciate having a small birdie on his shoulder that will tell him all that they think , after hours of doing general work all he would need is to have someone talk to him about some casual stuff and random thoughts, yk?

I also think he would turn to you in case of a crisis, sometimes just come home to you and lay down to cuddle with you, it comforts him somewhat, youre like his stress reliever, hes usually very reserved and calm with other people, but with you..it's so different

To him you're like a fresh breath of air, like just a slap to the face to wake him up, you keep him from going freaking insane

I don't think Jing yuan is usually fit for people with a personality of like blade or Dan Heng (just an example of personality I am no shipper nor anti shipper don't shoot me)

Like ...yeah I guess they can be friends but like...Jing yuan wouldn't click with them? I don't know how to explain it but jing yuan needs someone lively and like all over the place, so he can take time to slowly organize you and your thoughts in his mind.

Phew that's all from me, sending lots of hugs and loves I hope to see you around on my blog since you're a small blessing on my acc (≧◡���) ♡

[potatochip-oc-dump]

i am going to dump a bit of lore on your doorstep (by copy and pasting smth i wrote on discord a few days ago) so i can give context to something i have drawn

disclaimer: it may be long and wordy. but thats what its all about baby

"in short i finally figured out how Arthur gets their name.

so to preface this i must offer. context. be warned this is gonna be one of those Rambles.

before we begin, i am debating on whether or not i should keep the 'arthur possessing gidget' thing, change it to where they possess chip (?), or get rid of it... my reasoning being: i think it makes more sense for arthur to be closer to chip especially cuz they end up as siblings in the end, ALSO i dont remember why gigi had to be the one that was possessed and i think the story would work just fine if it was somebody else.

in fact itd probably work even better with chip not only bc the theming of Being In The Wrong Body and everyone claiming u r somebody youre not works even better if its with chip, it also works cuz chip in the story is frequently like... whats the word. overlooked. or not taken seriously.

but anyways:

two, there is a plot point sometime during chip & gidget's stay in the castelle manor in which everyone but chip is trapped inside a dream by moonlight (in the waking world they are all asleep & cant wake up) bc she is searching their dreams in order to find Arthur (and kill them)

hopefully that doesnt sound. too convoluted. ah. anyways. something something chip teams up w arthur to enter their dreams and wake them up. i think.

i think probably arthur was either forced into going w chip or he agreed relunctantly, but (assuming he is still possessing someone) chip asks arthur if they can see his real face. and he agrees but in a way that makes it clear he is Lying

they wake up in (.....i dont think i have a solid name for this place yet. i think i called it Space 2 in my lore doc for the bit but i think itll be called 'otherside')

and Arthur just looks like a weird version of [whoever they were possessing at the time.] chip comments on it and art's like 'oh you mean my REAL REAL face yeah ok let me. um.' (they change into an exact copy of chip.) 'Better?'

at this point it is becoming clear that arthur might not have a 'real face,' but chip doesnt know that yet

meanwhile there is some chatter between the two, w arthur passively explaining who Midnight and Moonlight are. ALSO there is a fun fact i think about moonlight canonically having a preference for Women & that Arthur's pre-death appearance was modelled after the first human woman. i think. at one point they get onto the topic of art and chip asks Arthur if they like to draw, in which they respond: 'no.' Riveting.

something something climactic point where arthur breaks down and finally admits that they dont have a body, dont have any of their powers, and they cant even remember what theyre supposed to look like. he says that he feels useless!

& then chip says something like 'you dont have to have powers to like. create stuff.'

and then they draw together :]

chip agrees to help give him a "new face" so to speak by drawing him a FURSONA (it is a JACKRABBIT with a RAINCOAT AND UMBRELLA and an EYEPATCH and like. epic scars. and two swords. and a pet dolphin & demon wings. and other convoluted detailed design elements akin to that of a sparkledog) which they lovingly name 'Arthur.' (maybe w a last name like 'skullcrusher' or soemthing)

and arthur like draws his own version of that. which is Close to what Arthur's design is currently. & he's like 'yeah. so um. uhh. close your eyes i cant do it while youre looking.'

(chip puts their paws over their eyes.) 'um ok! what are you doing?'

'im gonna show you the real me.'

& then he looks like the character he drew."

[kohaioi]

KOHERS important. uh. i uh. i read piers wiki like onc e . and . something interesting happened there. uh. how. is he like in the game. i gotta know because UH UHHHHH . dont ask. for now.

◕⁠_◕ um. OK this sure is interesting! OK THEN short essay here i come >:O

SO if u've read my long as hell marnie essay u'll know he's her older brother! he's the dark type gym leader of the region and lives in spikemuth obviously AND there's smth i forgor to mention during my marnie essay! u see in every single town in galar u can dynamax or gigantamax ur pokemon in the gym BUT in spikemuth u can't bc there's no um. how's it called in english. well in spanish it's called nodo dinamax and that's what makes it able to dynamax ur pokemon! so he's the only gym leader that never dynamaxes his pokemon :] NOW THEN he's also the only gym leader that doesn't show up in the opening ceremony of the gym challenge so u only get to meet him when u arrive at spikemuth and he's having a concert there bc our guy is a singer AND songwriter BOOM!!!!!! what a guy fr....... COUGHS ANYWAYS he puts himself down saying he thought no one came to challenge him bc he was useless and. that kinda seems like u. BUT YEAH it's actually bc the town is closed down so yeah our fav guy isn't and will never be useless 🫶🫶 ANYWAYS like any other gym leader u rlly don't get to see them during the game BUT piers is special! as i said during my marnie essay he wants marnie to be the next dark type gym leader and since marnie doesn't become champion he's free to do wtv he likes! and so during the post game these two evil guys from the novelty appear and start dynamaxing their pokemon in all the cities and since he's no longer a gym leader and there's no um. nodo dinamax thingie in spikemuth he helps protagonist and hop (<3333) to take care of that! so we get to see more of piers LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHEM anyways let's go to what u rlly care abt fkhfjdjkd personality! by his looks u probably think he's dark and scary and all that BUT just like marnie he's actually pretty sweet and nice! he's very overprotective of marnie and in general of his friends too :] he's also kinda shy i think? like he seems kinda closed off upon first meeting. kind of. THAT'S JUST THE VIBES HE GIVES ME OK DKHSKDBAJDHJAHDJSHDJJSJJD but yeah overall he's pretty nice puts himself down is protective of the people he cares of so yeah sounds like u 👍👍 um. if u end up being piers i might go a bit. insane maybe <- normal piers fan BUT ANYWAYS hope u enjoyed my essay byebye

[kewltie]

i want izuku to go to his ms reunion and his former classmates acted like he's one of them as if they didnt ostracized him back then bc he's v successful hero rn. izuku is kind so he doesnt hold their past against them but class 1-A does and drops by the reunion to check on izuku.

they know of his dark ms history so they dont go all at once, but come visit for a group of 2-4 just to see if izuku is ok and if they should take him away from his shitty & fake former classmates but izuku is doing just fine; he's confident and happy, his past doesnt define him. he doesnt hold his former classmates' actions as oh, they were horrible kids so obv they're going to grow up to be horrible and can NEVER CHANGE bc ppl do change. some wont but most do bc kids can be terrible but as they get older their world evolve & they LEARN from the mistakes.

he knows someone close to his heart is perfect example of that so izuku finds forgiveness come easy for him and tho maybe his classmates arent ALL sincere in their apologies, trying to write off the past as if they didn't bullied him but izuku is ok now; he's ready to move on. so izuku doesnt have any trauma (anymore) or hold any long term resentment toward his ms classmates and does enjoy the reunion even if it can be awkward at times bc their good memories werent good memories to izuku who was often excluded from social activities bc of his quirklessness...

during the reunion bc his friends keep dropping by, who are all prominent heroes, the ms classmates ask are any of them you're dating?? izuku just laughs and says i have a partner w/o saying their name and SO IT LEAVES EVERYONE GUESSING WHICH ONE OF PPL DROPPED BY IS THE BF/GF.

among his ms classmate is a boy who was prob the closest izuku has to a 'friend' during that period before he distanced himself from izuku. he has quirk that is simple & boring, blowing bubbles from his mouth, which is unimpressive but izuku was the only one who tho it was cool. izuku always ask questions about his quirk and makes it out to something as remarkable!!! while the classmates sneered and looked down upon him bc quirks that are lame and useless has no place in their society but at least it's better than the quirkless loser over there... so they become sort of 'friends' bc nobody seems to care or like them but then when izuku's bullying got worst the choice b/t quirkless vs lame quirk, the kids think izuku is worst off and picks on him harsher esp when izuku doesnt stay down and curve his enthusiasms about quirks.

the boy learned to stay quiet and in the background so he doesnt get pick on as much but izuku cant STAY quiet bc he loves learning and talking about quirks and doesnt hide his dream to become a hero so obviously it made other want to CRUSH him, so when his bullying got worst. esp when the boy got picked on for 'useless' quirk, izuku would speak up for him and made loud proclaimations how the quirk is v cool and amazing so they should talk bad about X-kun but that made the boy afraid of being attached to izuku, bc he doesnt want it to affect him too.

the bullies turn their attention to izuku who was the most outspoken and the boy realized he has to stay away from izuku to not get picked on too, even to izuku helped him!! so he distanced himself and years later, he always regretted that decision bc izuku was his first love. but he was too much of a coward to ever do anything about it and too afraid of liking that quirkless boy who was the lowest of their social ladder. he wanted to save himself more then his love and friendship for izuku... so that action haunted him for years even as an adult.

so this reunion was his way of trying to apologize to izuku and maybe reconnect with him bc he never forgotten izuku the boy who shines so bright even in the darkest time, who was able to fulfilled his dream and most of all izuku was kind when the world wasnt kind back to him. he can see the way that izuku slowly and sincerely win their classmates over by remembering all their names and when the most popular girl embarrassingly reveals she's a homemaker w 3 kids and izuku is like that's so amazing!! that must be so difficult but you're doing a good job. AND HE MEANS IT WITH HIS WHOLE HEART!!! he genuinely interest in their life and want to know what they're up to and even remember the moments of their past like when someone pick up his eraser that he dropped and handed it back to him, he recalls those small gestures so easily.

to izuku who has an incrediablly shitty time during his ms, yet able to draw on lighter moments and bring it up and associated with ppl who have hurt him in the past... that takes a lot of strength and speaks of how big izuku's heart was that he doesnt hold it against them. so even tho izuku is the top hero and is clearly the most accomplished person out of all their classmates there, he doesnt lord it over them and is much more interest in their more mundane life rather than his exciting world of heroes and that's very humbling thing. so for the ppl who came in worry izuku was going to get revenge, they find themselves coming out of this being a die hard deku stan for life now lol... bc now they realized what make deku so popular with so many ppl is now bc of how powerful he is bc of his very big heart.

at the end of the night the classmates are all having a good time and they so smitten with izuku and just genuine happy that he is here and regret how they could have ruined him but he rise above all that. it's then that when they're about to go home that bakugou katsuki arrives. katsuki was invited but he never RSVP. they know how he is flourishing just as much as izuku is as a hero but he always seem like untouchable, out of their reach; very smart, athletic, popular and has a powerful quirk he was everything izuku wasnt & they were childhood friends!!

katsuki suddenly appears before them and they're like oh, sorry the party is over but katsuki just glowers as izuku beams at the sight of him and runs up to him, holding his hand as he says, 'kacchan, you're here to pick me up?' leaving everyone jaw slacked!!!!!

'are you guys dating?' some brave soul asks.

izuku blushes while katsuki sneers. 'yea, what about it?' and it's like some kind of dark comedy to classmates bc the two ppl who are least likely to get together are happily TOGETHER and katsuki had seemingly hated izuu in the past.

it was jarring like HOW THEY DID THEY EVEN GET THERE!!! but bkdk obviously wont tell bc thats their story and the classmates realize that bc they have no right to demand an answer from these two even to katsuki's turbulent history with izuku was a defining moment of their ms.

while izuku say goodbye to their classmates, katsuki stands off in the back. the boy who was izuku 'friend' approaches katsuki and says, “you dont deserve him” and katsuki stares evenly back.

“neither do you, but at least im making an effort now and not pining like a fool. i have an entire life ahead of me to make it up to him but you?” katsuki glares. “you ruined your chance back then when you walked away from him.”

and that's the thing bc he did, he chose himself over izuku back then and tho izuku clearly has forgiven him but he hasnt. katsuki shouldnt either tho!! he feels is unfair that katsuki also played a part in making izuku's life miserable back then but he is able to stand by izuku's side tonight & hold his hands. IT'S NOT FAIR, but katsuki doesnt care about fairness he has izuku and hes not letting go.

katsuki didnt go to the reunion bc he doesnt want to be reminded of his past so even tho izuku has long moved on and forgave, katsuki hasn't learn to forgive himself yet so he isnt ready to face his past yet but he also doesnt want any idiot to get any idea about izuku either lol. it took him a lot of effort and time to get to this point and won izuku's heart so he's not going to let some past love trying to think he has a chance with izuku now bc izuku is his and tho he hasnt proven himself worthy of izuku but nobody is more worthy than him a;sjd;fjs lmao

[redandblackpoetry]

Ok so I'm gonna ramble a bit here so strap in because I find the concept interesting

Because fish tanks and stained glass are inherently opposites. Now stay with me here, why are fish tanks always so clear and sparkly clean? Because the glass isnt the focus its a vehicle so you can look at the fishes more easily. Its essentially operating as a portal to another dimension and best case scenario is you ignore the class entirely and see this snapshot of another world.

Stained glass is the opposite. Its purely for decoration. Stained glass came into existence because these huge churches had huge windows and didnt want these big boring windows that are all clear, and because they have a butt load of money they would and still do! Commission stained glass. The point of these windows are to provide something interesting to look at, and in some really really early stained glass windows, especially in Europe before there were high rates of literacy, it would help tell the stories of the church. Some of it is generic, I can't tell you how many Jesus crucifiction scenes I have seen in my life, but some also want the stories of their saint or like a beloved pastor or priest etc. Some churches will even have the names and portraits of these people, its a way to memorialize them.

Coming back to the fish tank idea, stained glass essentially serves the roll of the fish, its entertainment and pretty.

If you had a fishtank made of stained glass (ignoring the lead poisioning aspect bc yes stained glass still contains lead, there are leadless solder you can get but any major studio or person will tell you leaded solder works better fight me) it cancels out each other. You can't see the fish, the colors if the stained glass and lead lines will almost completely obscure it. And unless you have lights in the aquarium, which granted big ones tend to, the stained glass is just gonna look like a dull brownish mess if its painted and even if not its gonna be still pretty dull colors.

A stained glass fish tank would be absolutely useless to us because we cant see the fish and we cant see the glass well. But what fascinates me is the concept that the fish would enjoy it.

The lights in the room outside would probably make the stained glass from an inside view actually usable. In essence, the fish tank becomes the church, and we are God, looking down on the churchgoers from above. Are we as obscured to God as the fish are to us? Do we look as dull and boring from God's view?

Inside, the fish all stare at the glass depicting images, stories that they don't have to read to understand. They are taught, all the while we remain ignorant from the outside where the colors all look like blobs. Is God just as ignorant to the stories we tell of Them?

I dont know but my vote is we give the fish a little catholic guilt. as a treat

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

[ask-hexcode]

hex the typa guy to have 8 different accounts all with different political views and ragebaits with all of them

also some stuff ??? i guess ? that has been floating in my head about him ((NOTE. THINGS MAY CHANGE DOWN THE LINE

also also this is going to be bit of a ramble because its all shit thats been stuck in my head for a good few months so

he uses the royal we constantly ... i dont know why

his name is hex becasue. of HEX code get itha hs aha h ahahahahaa ha hah ha

oh yeah general stuff shoudlve gone first ok um. he/it/we/they but honestly? i doubt he cares. anab (Assigned Nuisance At Birth) but yeah hes mmmmale..>????? he doesnt care about that either. personality i havent fleshed out, i've got different ideas and interpretations rn. I CANT DECIDE… but some stuufff likee : he is constantly looking for change and surprises, hes erratic and selfish, hates routine

he got some thick eyebrows

orphan #LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!sorry thats mean

loses touch with reality often, doesnt kill people because of his ego or something sky write something here to make it make sense later

^ future sky here . maybe like he thinks death is an escape and a prison. or he thinks people who die are cowards. does this imply he'd be a good first responder on suicide hotlines .

(UNSURE ABOUT THIS....) he combined his consciousness, mind with a type of ai/robot? slash reprogrammed his brain with tech and that def changed him a lot. bc of this hes ... strange

has a twin sister that never becomes relevant to the plot

fun fact: they were originally named hansel and gretel but, like, im not sure if i should keep those as their real names

i think hes bi idk i have to ask him

stole the godfathers staff

robo-body is powered by redstone

throws up redstone when hes using too much power/energy

staff is main source of redstone/power. he still has bits of it on him but like not enough if he had to fight someone i guess

voiceclaim is discord mlp

hes SUPPOSED to have wires and tubing all over his design but i just KNOW i cant be bothered to draw allat in the future

^ wires, tubes and loose straps can move on their own and are.. kinda sentient???

other weapon besides the staff is like a hologram saw thing

hes supposed to also have a bug motif and antenna but im not sure anymore

prosthetic/robot eye(s)... i have no idea if he should have both soon robot eyes or just one or straightup rawdogging vision

said robot eye can display images i think itd be funny

scar on forehead might be from battle, an experiment or a lobotomy, you decide.

kinda useless without his staff . look at this loser

hates small spaces

i thiought about the magenta part if his hair chanjng colour depending on the conduit but eehhhhhhhh

would listen to loud metal pipes banging against each other as music

^ unironically would listen to 'sleep phonk' and fall asleep sound as a baby

his design is reminiscent of a printer (if you squint LMAO) and cmyk stuff

cmyk aspect is used when he uses his tech/conduits, he basically has like some variant of these n mixes the colours to generate the right tool, if that makes sense...??????

the circle holograms under his feet are like nezhas fire wheelsHELP i watched nezha2 and i just had to

adding on to that..,,, maybe the holograms arent just for show, and they help him with mobility because hes lowkey weak and frail

ear has a cut part rip

if you wanna draw him and afraid of it turning out inaccurate DONT. actually make it MORE inaccurate there is not a single thing thats consistent about him

also i keep going back and forth on him having a vial of redstone as an earring Idk i feel like theres. already enough going on with his face bye

after his Little Playtime Session in his 'home city' he went about and caused havoc all around random villages and towns . bruh

maybe bumped into a cubed member or two before events of cube and yapped too much they started beating eachother

favourite food is coffee beans

ok i wanna try explaining how each of them look (art/story wise, minecraft mechanics are minecraft mechanics shh

Red conduit: ok i do not know how to explain this one but like, when he shoots laser beams, they come from his fingertips . like he goes 👉 and then A FUCKING LASER SHOOTS OUT

Blue conduit: he uses the palms of his hands and just... hovers them over over the person in question, directing the healing flow towards them

Light blue conduit (I'm calling it cyan idc): pretty basic tbh, hologram shield. maybe its like a cool geometric shape. shatters like glass and hits yo enemies

Lime conduit: deadly lime hologram spikes form the ground and around the opponent, like the walls of a prison

Black conduit: im actually not sure on how it'd visually look like.... but i was thinking like a spiderman kinda thing HELP like it shoots out from his wrists.

^ just got an idea for that, what if its like some anti gravity thing he shoots out and pulls himself towards them

okjayyyyy time for some non minecraft canon ones

Yellow conduit: like. a speed boost. he gets this yellow aura or he passes it on . doesnt take knockback or something too

Magenta conduit: blades of pure pain upon contact. you dont even get sliced it just feels like PAIN

[irlbkgs]

🌺🌹🌻🌼🍀 (feel free to pick and choose with these if it’s too much to answer them all!)

- @seraphvessel (don’t look at this url i’m having a crisis)

🌺Are there any other characters that are very relevant to your self-insert or F/O story-wise?

for nicky id say glenn and carol, michonne too in later seasons. glenn is like his first real friend because he grew up so isolated (and was also just the weird kid in rich schools, his etiquette sucked so he couldnt really find peers of his social standing to befriend when they were all so snobby), carol was very doting during the quarry era bc even if he wasnt a kid she could still tell he didnt know how to be an adult yet and wanted to help teach him basic chores at least and after that he tried to help look for sofia even tho he has like. no tracking skills and is useless with any weapon, would stay up late in case she somehow made it within the vicinity for the farm when it was dark, tried to keep her spirits up and whatnot. he was like an obnoxious kid who would never leave her alone and at times it bothered her but it also helped her not become entirely closed off post sofia. with michonne it kind of similar, he just loves to pry and he wont stop no matter how much you tell him off so of course he eventually got under michonne's skin and wormed his way into her heart, he just had to deal with a few more threats to get there.

for kennie there really isnt anyone because well. i dont rly give af about canon.

🌹How would your self-insert function in the source? (Side character, Main character, etc?)

nicky is definitely side character material, besides one liners i doubt he'd be significant until maybe farm or prison era and then would go back to kind of not mattering until commonwealth maybe? maybe not even cause like. wtf would he even do in that era besides be daryl's murderous fail housewife? he def doesnt have a lot of impact on the plot tho, very much a side character who is comic relief a lot of the time and mostly there for romance and occasional fuck ups that lead to angst.

kennie would tbh not function in source unless she was a main character (in order to be around sam) or she'd have to be so fucking background that her and sam being a thing would be shocking news to everyone. and tbh i dont see her as an mc bc she just wouldnt hangout with the mcs? so its weird. like at best she'd be there begrudgingly and complain a lot and nobody would like her bc of it but she'd rough it for sam (and emma). maybe her and emma were besties and that's how she gets involved but still idk.

🌻Does your self-insert or F/O go through any character development throughout the story?

i think nicky would def unlearn some of his manipulative tendencies and in turn stop lying as much which is big for him bc he's kind of the liar of all time if im being honest. its how he was raised so it comes as natural as breathing but it's also made worse by his mental illness tbh. it takes a lotttttt of arguing with daryl for him to make an honest attempt at not manipulating situations to get what he wants for fear of rejection and to stop lying about stupid shit just bc he's worried itll piss someone off. something something living with abusive parents who lose their shit over everything making him an impulsive liar just to be safe but that extending into every relationship he's had something something daryl living in the same situation but becoming brutally honest from it. tldr nicky met his match.

kennie doesnt really have anything yet bc she's like. not fleshed out but also bc there's only 1 season of the show her f/o is in so like there is nowhere to progress to yet it feels. i want her to eventually learn to be more vulnerable and talk about her feelings more but that is like so not the important thing in their relationship considering sam is like. being hunted and is also an unmedicated schizophrenic with cptsd and super strength. and i like focusing on that more than kennie being a closed off emotional wreck sometimes.

🌼Is there an official confession scene between the two of them?

i find it so hard to think of confession scenes bc confessions themself make me wanna chew my hands off buttttt

nicky confesses early on, probably prison era. he's never been exactly subtle but daryl kind of doesnt notice until nicky outright tells him when he feels like theyre finally safe and he's tired of waiting bc who knows how long theyll actually be safe there, maybe they can enjoy some down time together finally but daryl rejects him. its less so the age thing at that point (nicky would be 25-26 then and have matured a lot between the quarry and the prison) and moreso the fact that daryl is just demi and hasn't formed a strong enough connection with nicky yet bc admittedly nicky has mostly been thirsting from afar and was banking on daryl finding him hot enough to go for it even without them being super close (something something nicky's sexual trauma making him think any older guy would fuck him even if they dont want him romantically and he'd settle for that). after that nicky kind of pulls back for a bit bc rsd ouch but eventually he stops pulling away bc his feelings dont just vanish after rejection and he still wants to spend time with daryl, even if it means he has to contain his feelings and tone down his flirting (bc he cant turn that off, he flirts with basically everyone). daryl is happy to spend more time with him again bc he had grown fond of nicky during farm era, they just werent super close yet but they get there by the end of prison era and that's when daryl starts to form feelings but he doesnt really realize it until alexandria bc soooo much is happening, he doesnt rly have time to think about it. once he feels like theyre safe enough in alexandria, he confesses to nicky over dinner that he caught and cooked, ofc, and nicky basically becomes his low quality housewife (lq bc he sucks at cooking and cleaning but he performs...other wifely duties ((wink wink nudge nudge)), as svetlana would say)

for kennie and sam it would be pretty upfront, sam isnt exactly shy about his feelings and often blurts out how he feels and even tho kennie is hesitant to admit her feelings, she has no problem accepting sam's initial advances which were more sexual in nature. once they get into feelings territory, he also fesses up first, which makes her feel more comfortable reciprocating.

[imraespace]

WAITILL REPLT TO THE OTHER PARTS OF YOUR RESPONSE LATER IM EATINF DINNER BUT DWPOOKEI FOCUS ON YOUR EXAMS YOU GOT THIS YOU WILL GRADUATE WIRH 100%‼️‼️‼️ HOW IS THE PASSING RATE THAT LOW??? THATS LESS THAN HALF THE PPL WHAT WHAT WHAT NO BC HERE UMM YOU NEED 40 HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE AND U JUST NEED TO MAKE SURE U DONT FAIL ANY OF YOUR COURSES AND U GET UR DIPLOMA IT REALLT ISNT THAT HARD UNLESS URE TAKING ADVANCED SUBJECTS BUT EVEN THEN MOST PPL LOCK IN BUT ANWYAYS U GOT THIS POOKIE i thought u would like delete tumblr and like never come back until summer and iwas like man ure gonna come back with 165+ asks 💔 BUT NO BC ID CRY IF I HAD AN EXAM ON MY BIRTFHAY WHAT IS A MOCK EXAM I KEEP HEARING AB IT BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS HELP. I LEGIT ONLY HAVE FINAL EXAMS I DONT HAVE MIDTERMS … ITS OKAY URE GONAN DO AMAZING ON EVEYRHTUNG POOKIE 💜💜

im kinda worried for next year bc idk what im gonna do like im into psychology and medical so i wanna become a psychiatrist but also idk ☹️☹️ my careers teacher has veen saying psych sociology and such are useless and ppl who go into it never find a job bc youth unemployment is so bad. LIKE HE SAYS BECOME ENTREPRENEURS LIKE OK TECHNICALLY IM GONNA ALREADY OWN A FAMILY BUSINESS BUT THAT ISNT GONNA BE MY MAIN SOURCE OF INCOME OBV. so im kinda just worried i just wanna go medical tho .. 💔 ill figure it out i guess i kinda have to

- 🐙

I HOPE I DOO

BECAUSE THEY MAKE THE EXAMS HARD AND EVEN IF ITS NOT HARD PPL PANIC BC PF ALL THE PRESSURE OF KNOWING OMG YOU MESS UP NO FUTURE! PPL WHO DO PASSED THEY ALWAYS SAY THAT THEY STUDIED EVERYDAY ALL THE TIME AND DIDNT INTERACT WITH NO FRIENDS AND DIDNT GO OUT OR LEAVE THE HOUSE THEYRE SO STRICT HERE ITS ANNOYINGGG PLUS THEY GIVE YOU TEACHERS LIKE MY ACCOUNTS ONE BC MY FRIEND HAS THE SAME PROBLEM WITH HER CHEM TEACHER AND WE ALWAYS COMPLAINED AND ASKED FOR A NEW TEACHER BC WE WANNA PASS ANS THEY ALWAYS SAY NO. SO BAD TEACHER, PRESSURE, NO LIFE AND SOME HARD ASS EXAM THATS GONNA DECIDED YOUR FUTURE.

WHAT..

HELPME I WONT DELETE TUMBLR

MOCK EXAM IS LIKE MY FINALS THEYRE GIVING US AN EXAM LIKE HOW THE EXAMS WILL BE AND THE EXAM SETTING like the exam you're not in your normal classroom ans you have your own candidate number so you gotta go at your own seat they gave you based on like your last name bc it's in alphabetical order yk like preparing us for the actual thing

DO SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANNA DO DESPITE WHAT YOUR TEACHER SAY!! I chose business bc I wanna own my nursery and I got made fun if bc "mara you're so quiet you can't talk to children!"🤨😒 don't make me bite you.

YOU CAN OWN THE BUSINESS ANS DO MEDICAL YOU JAVE TWO SOURCES OF INCOME