#and because people dont understand what these things were intended to be they downplay his involvement of being the most integral bit

[mymp3]

istg people dont know what narrative and foil even mean at this point

[heretherebedork]

wanna preface this by saying i am NOT trying to be a vegas apologist or downplay anything i am just trying to get the facts straight

but where exactly did the idea that vegas is a rapist even come from?? i know he drugged porsche in ep4, but he explicitly said ‘i dont like to force anybody’ and that he only wanted to mark him up. which ABSOLUTELY is still sexual assault and absolutely wrong. but i feel like people take his reaction after porsche head butted him to mean that he got angry and was going to rape him but got interrupted but like…all he said was ‘oh that’s how you like it?’ and started to get rougher. WHICH IS STILL SEXUAL ASSAULT but there is no explicit indication of intended rape. especially considering that literally in the next scene….we get k*** explicitly r*ping porsche…..

even in the bathroom scene, he tries to make a move on porsche while they’re BOTH drunk (i see lots of ppl say porsche was faking being drunk so this can go either way) which again isn’t great but there’s no indication of attempted r*pe

even with pete. he gets a little handsy in that dungeon, very clear sexual assault, but everyone was saying he was going to r*pe pete if his dad hadn’t walked in and it’s like?????? where does it say that????? he had pete tied up in his room in just boxers at an isolated safehouse with just the two of them and didn’t touch him, but im supposed to believe he was gonna r*pe him in that dungeon???

because the most consistent thing we’ve seen with vegas and sex…..is consent and protection. even with tawan ffs

i cannot stress enough that this is not me trying to be an apologist or to compare vegas and kinn because my god do they both have their severe flaws, but its just insane to me that vegas and vegaspete have this reputation of being rapey when……well you know

So, a lot of it is coming from the fact that I know he does rape Pete in the book and so that's where the scene lead in that version of the universe. Note: I have not read the book but I know enough people who did to know about that.

I also draw a lot less of a line between sexual assault and rape than you do and while I understand that, it also affects how we're using the language. Would Pete have gone into full on rape when he had Porsche drugged up? There is no way to know. Vegas' morals are like most people's and what he considers forcing doesn't have to be the same.

Think about how many people don't think K raped P in that scene. Think about it. How many people argued with that being rape? How many people explained it away as love? How many people would still never admit that it was rape? I bet there's tons out there.

Did Vegas ever commit a rape on-screen? No. He never did. Did he come close? Yes. Was he interrupted? Yes. Could he easily have committed a rape? Yes.

Vegas apologies aren't needed in the same way because he didn't do the thing that he would be so ripped to shreds for but do I doubt that he wouldn't have done them.

I also don't know how drunk Vegas was when he tried to kiss Pete. There's a good chance neither of them was drunk in that moment but thought the other was. That's... that's a whole different thing about deception and how the show frames things and the differences between the relationships of the characters within the meta narrative.

But I absolutely believe that we are supposed to think that Vegas had plans and/or the ability to rape Pete but did not. But I also kind of think the narrative wants us to assume K and P were already in love despite the rape soooo... I just don't trust the narrative of the show, tbh.

For me, I think Vegas has no limits of what he would have or could have done to Porsche and that his only limits with Pete came after the talk about their fathers. I absolutely think rape was on the table the entire time despite saying he didn't want to force anyone because Vegas just doesn't think in the same morality we do.

Again, at least part of this is that most people aren't differentiating between sexual assault and rape, especially with the idea that rape would only mean penetration or the full act of sex.

But a lot of it is also just K-apologists.

[thatmultifandomhoe]

"You had been shaking with adrenaline and from whatever drug a group of guys had forced into your mouth." undeniably shows assault + the bruises cuts & fleeing for her safety. that IS assault. dont downplay that. Im aware that switching schools isnt easy but it is very doable especially if, as u mentioned MANY times, everyone's life is in actual danger? Sorry that is very abusive and unrealistic. u also said theyre in a frat house. I feel as though this was irresponsibly written & poorly warned.

Hi hun, again, I apologize for the scene that we’re talking about. Yes it’s triggering. And yes, the warnings that I had put in place could have been more specific than what they are, there is no denying that. I really do mean it when I say it’s not my intention to trigger anyone, that is why I put warnings at the start of all my fics. However, I still stand by the statement that I made at 2am when I responded to your first message, as that was not how I had meant for the scene to read as. On my end, I had intended for it to be a scene of things getting out of hand, and as a result, the reader leaves - in this case - runs to Namjoon’s place when realizing that they’re near his place. Obviously, what I wrote did not come across that way, so I understand your discomfort in regards to it and I will work on that for future stories that I plan to write.

Before I go any further, I would like to repeat myself in that this story is fanfiction. I say that, because from the way you’ve worded yourself, it looks as if I was telling something that had actually happened in real life. It’s fiction. Yes, I said I try to write things that are in a realistic way, but ultimately this is fiction, so things are exaggerated or different from reality.

Now continuing with the school aspect, I don’t know what level of education you’re at, whether you’re in high school or are going to college, or have graduated from university. When I write my fics that are intended to be College AUs, I normally go based off of how my university is run. With that being said, even in cases like this, or lesser or even worse case scenarios, switching schools in college/uni is completely different than if the person was in high school. It’s not something you get to decide right then and there. Besides all the paperwork, finances come into play; is the person on a scholarship that they can only have at this school? The cost of tuition, of books, school fees, housing fee, rent, and more, are completely different for every college and university. Is the person’s parents paying for their education? Or is the student paying for everything on their own and having to take loans out while working a job - or several - to make ends meet? 

Then there’s location. Does the person live at home and save money that way? Do they have a job that they depend on? Do they have family that they need/want to be around? Then there’s the reason for why someone may pick a school. Do they offer certain programs that aren’t offered at other colleges? Do they even have what the person wants to major in? Is this school known for having a high amount of students graduating from a specific field? There are endless factors that come into play when making the decision to attend college, and they all have to be reconsidered again if you want to - not switch but ultimately drop out - of college A to go to college B. And that’s even if you get accepted to college B. And will your credits transfer over? Will you have to spend an extra year to make up for the classes/credits you lost and have to make up? There are some grants and loans that will only pay for the first four years at a college.

If none of these factors come into play, then yes, it is very easy to switch colleges. But I’ll have you know, I personally know people who have been raped on campus or assaulted, and they still attend the same college because of the factors that I mentioned above came into play. So it is not doable for everyone.

Also, after doing a search in my word doc for Consequences, yes, you are right. I did mention frat house. Exactly 1 time. Which I probably forgot to take out while editing or just didn’t even think that it would imply that it was a fraternity, especially as the story continues and there is not one single reference to their home being a part of, or having any association directly with the school. They’re simply in a home, off campus. And like I had said last night, I drew inspiration from The Outsiders, a book and movie that focuses on the Curtis brothers where they and their friends form a “gang” as a result of being so close to each other and they stick by each other whether it’s for good or for bad. Namjoon - in this story - is an overly jealous boyfriend and ex-boyfriend who was insecure of his relationship with the reader when seeing how close the reader got with Jungkook. I wrote Namjoon as the “leader” of this so-called “gang” and friend group, as a play on the role he has as leader of BTS in real life. I thought it was cute.

In this story though, by the reader sneaking off to be with Jungkook, who is an extremely close friend to Namjoon, and a part of this “gang” yes it’s bad and as I said, life-threatening, especially for the others who are lying to Namjoon so that Kook and the reader can sneak off at times. Trust and loyalty, two things that Namjoon holds as highly important, are being broken by the people he considers family. Like in a “gang” there are fights. There were fight scenes in The Outsiders as well. At most, the members would most likely get in a physical fight with Namjoon if things went sideways and nothing more. I don’t know what else would have happened, because I wrote this as a stand alone piece with no intention of doing a part 2, so I left it up to the readers to decide what happens to everyone at the end of the story. Do they sneak off? Do the others get caught lying? I don’t know, because I did not have any plans of continuing on this specific story.

At the end of the day, Consequences is simply a story that I wrote. Looking at it now, yes, it’s not the greatest fic I have written, and there are certainly parts that I would change or rewrite including the three to four short paragraphs where the reader has a flashback to that triggering scene. But again, this is fanfiction, and it’s a fiction piece. This is not meant to be a what to do if you find yourself in this scenario. And again, while I agree that my warnings could have been more specific, at the end of the day, I put them there for a reason and you - as the reader - are the one who is supposed to make the judgement call on whether or not you continue reading. There are several stories, even ones posted by my friends, where if I see something in their warning section that I may not agree with even if it’s a small thing, I’ll simply not read it. However, you made the decision to continue reading Consequences, I did not say you had to. You could have even stopped reading once you reached that scene and decided that you were not comfortable with it, but you didn’t.

Again, I am sorry if this triggered you, or made you uncomfortable as that was not my intention, and I will work on my writing and editing skills and make sure I have the appropriate warnings written out for future fiction stories.

[thecelibateshoewhore]

Dating in the Church (Part 1)

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33 NKJV).

 “You have been raised to life with Christ. Now set your heart on what is in heaven, where Christ rules at God’s right side. Think about what is up there, not about what is here on earth. You died, which means that your life is hidden with Christ, who sits beside God. Christ gives meaning to your life, and when He appears, you will also appear with Him in glory” (Colossians 3:1-4 CEV).

Happy Valentine’s Day to all those who’re celebrating! If you’re familiar with my writing, you know that I don’t take the typical approach — basically, the worldly viewpoint — regarding love, dating and celibacy because I’m committed to using my spiritual gift to serve God and His people. That said, be sure to read my previous posts about love and dating if you haven’t already: On Marrying the Wrong Person and On Love, Loyalty & Less Than God’s Best.

This series was inspired by a retweet that came across my timeline, which attempted to address why dating in the church is difficult. First, understand that there’s no biblical position on dating — at least not in the formal sense. There’s no particular scripture or passage that addresses how single believers should date. However, there are godly principles in scripture that can be applied to dating. It’s natural to want companionship, but many believers overlook the necessity and blessing of being single. This is the time to give God your undivided attention and allow Him to mature you in your faith and in your spiritual gifts. Y’all know I’m longwinded — I could write a book on this subject (in fact, I am)! Pull out your Bibles, as I’m going to assume that you’re familiar with the scriptures referenced. The first point listed was:

“We keep promoting this misnomer that marriage is more spiritual than natural.”

 Uh, since when?

 My first thought reading this was, why would any church, which is a spiritual institution, ever downplay the spiritual aspect of marriage? To do so would imply that God isn’t needed for or within a marriage, which is essentially a carnal standpoint. And perhaps that is the problem. Taking on this “natural” approach has led to many believers choosing the wrong spouse or getting married to simply appease their physical (as in sexual) and/or financial needs. God also never intended for us to desire marriage more than we desire Him.

I’m not negating the natural component of marriage. I’m negating that a church should promote marriage as more natural than spiritual, and counsel believers under this notion. To do so isn’t biblically sound. In fact, it’s counterintuitive to the ministry of marriage. (Yes, marriage is a ministry and I’ll explain why later on). Due to the laws that now govern our society, marriage has become a business transaction because Uncle Sam wants his cut in the same manner as if we were to start a business or purchase real estate. That is why when a government institution performs a “marriage ceremony” in accordance with the laws of its jurisdiction, it is known as a civil marriage or a civil union. Many secular marriage proponents believe that it’s not a spiritual or religious institution at all. For them, marriage should be attainable by any person(s) who wish to apply for a marriage license regardless of spiritual affiliation and compatibility.

 For this reason, it’s important to note that there’s marriage and then there’s marriage God’s way. If your desire is for a godly spouse or marriage, then you must understand and adhere to God’s principles regardless of what society is doing. A church that promotes marriage as a natural institution is promoting idolatry. Why? Christ is removed as the center or focal point and replaced with worldly rules and expectations. As Christians, our relationship with the Creator is the crux of our faith and should govern everything that we do, including how we date and who we marry. For believers, it doesn’t make sense that our spiritual component is the core of our lives (and human experience), but not the basis of how we learn marriage inside of the church. I’m not saying that unbelievers shouldn’t marry because it’s a vital aspect of human society. I’m also not saying that only Christian marriages are successful. I’m saying that as believers, we can’t fully experience marriage the way God intended unless He is the foundation and inspiration on which it stands. If we start to condone or accept the world’s ways, which contradict God’s truth, then we risk applying a distorted standard to how God wants us to live.

Furthermore, Colossians 3:1-4 reminds us that the basis of our faith is the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It connects us to Christ as our foundation by guiding us with a basic ethical response to living in modern times. Set your mind on Christ! We are living in times where people profess faith in God, yet promote ideologies that are against His word. God is not the one confused. His word was, is and will always be true. Any church that proclaims to be the body of Christ should know not to conform to the expectations of society. God doesn’t lower Himself to meet the desires of man. Instead, we rise up to the standard that Christ set for us. When people state that churches aren’t effective because they’re “out of touch,” the solution isn’t to water down the message so that it’s easier for the masses to swallow it. The solution is to cultivate an environment that promotes real discipleship, healing and deliverance that is also built on sound truth! We don’t have a dating problem in the church, we have a discipleship problem. (Tweet This!) Before the church can minister to your dating needs and grow you into somebody’s spouse, you first need to master being a disciple of Jesus Christ.

 Before we can address dating in the church or “godly dating,” we must first understand why we’re dating in the first place. That is, what is the end goal? For most, marriage is the end goal. That is why it’s important to understand God’s purpose for marriage. For starters, God established the blueprint for marriage as a {spiritual} covenant (contract or agreement) between God, man and woman in Genesis 2:24. There were no courthouses or marriage licenses in the Garden of Eden. In fact, Genesis 2 outlines God’s design for marriage, as well as the governing principles that we should apply to it:

(1) God designed marriage as a covenant. Like most things, in order to understand how something works, the best source to ask is the One who created it! The foundation of a godly marriage involves daily communication with God. If praying and reading scripture isn’t a part of your daily life during the dating phase, chances are you will have cracks in your spiritual foundation that will impact your marriage. (2) God designed marriage to meet our need for companionship. Eve was created as a companion or “helper” because after naming all the animals, Adam wondered why there was no suitable companion for him (Genesis 2:18-20). Also note that God first gave Adam a purpose and a responsibility, and then gave him a wife to support his needs. In. That. Order. (3) God designed marriage as a depiction of our relationship with Him. Simply put, marriage is a ministry. Although He is pleased with sexual harmony between a husband and wife, that’s not why God designed marriage; He created it as a testimony for Him. If you’ve never witnessed a godly marriage, this might be hard for you to comprehend. Witnessing a union between a husband and wife who’re under the submission of Christ is the epitome of what it means to know God and know Him intimately. God created us for purposes that are larger than ourselves to serve Him and His people. In the same manner, He created marriage to illustrate the spiritual relationship between Christ (the bridegroom) and the church (His bride). Just as a husband and wife join as one flesh, we also join as one spirit with the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:18). Just as the church yields to the authority of Christ, the wife yields to the authority of the husband who’s also submitted to Christ. And a husband is to love his wife in the same manner that Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5: 21-25). Finally, just as a husband and wife produce offspring, believers are called to go out, multiply disciples and bring people back into the body of Christ as joint heirs.

 For believers who’re married, it becomes the primary, permanent, exclusive and intimate relationship between the two people who took those vows. No person or thing comes before either spouse (Matthew 19:6). It takes a lifetime to understand this level of commitment, which is why marriage isn’t required for everyone (1 Corinthians 7:7-9). Marriage isn’t a requirement for heaven or salvation. But, for those who choose marriage, choose to pursue it God’s way.

 If you’re a believer who’s not ready for marriage, you might be “casually dating” (not to be confused with fornicating). Casual dating is defined as any relationship where a couple is not exclusively dating each other. It doesn’t mean having sex or one-night stands. Even without sex, however, this kind of situation can bring unnecessary complications. My opinion is that casual dating isn’t inherently a bad thing if both parties clearly define their expectations and maintain boundaries, but I believe it increases the likelihood of misunderstandings and disappointment because as people evolve spiritually and emotionally, what they desire in a mate often changes. Sometimes this occurs at the other person’s expense.

 I purposely didn’t cover sex in great detail because I plan to address it later in this series. If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment below, and let me know that you’re ready for part 2.

 “Don’t change yourselves to be like the people of this world, but let God change you inside with a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to understand and accept what God wants for you. You will be able to know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect” (Romans 12:2 ERV).

 I love you.

 xo,

thecelibateshoewhore

[ourpathswillcrossagain]

I’ve spent the last almost year trying to do things the way I should have been doing them all along. I did it in the hope that he’d notice and realize that if he just tried a little, we could work this out. It’s not that he hasn’t noticed, I think he has. But he doesn’t actively acknowledge it, and even downplays it if I mention it.

I’ve been everything from hopeful - because I can usually see that I do think he still loves me - to suicidal - at times like Christmas, when I just didn’t see him at all. And then he tells me “what happened” and I don’t know that it really is what happened, but it seems reasonable enough that the family plans just changed and that he really did intend to come over in the evening, and I remind myself that one of the things I should not have been doing all this time was not trusting, and overreacting, and so I forgive and I see hope again. Mostly, I’ve thought that eventually, he’ll realize that whatever he’s doing now isn’t so great. Mostly, I’ve thought that he’d miss me and want to come home. And I think he does, at least sometimes, but I also think maybe he’s too stubborn.

He told me once that he had done things in our marriage to get a reaction out of me. When I asked him about it, asked him what, he cited the times that he’d stayed out late, and said he’d done it just to prove a point. So now I often wonder if he’s doing this just to prove a point. I often wonder if I’m being punished. Early on - and in the past as well - I’ve read so many things (and still do often, although I avoid this kind of shit) that said that in order to get someone back, get their attention, you have to ignore them, do your own thing, show them how fine you are your own, even if you are not. I personally feel as if that is a bunch of manipulative bullshit and it also feels like something that could backfire terribly.

In fact, there was one time when I’d told him I didn’t think I could talk to him for a while. I was upset and somehow had the presence of mind to realize that I was rife to say the wrong thing. I knew if I did not actually tell him that I couldn’t talk to him for a while, I would anyway, and I’d say ... something regrettable.

Later - a while later, maybe a few months later - he brought that up. As if it were hurtful. And I knew in that moment that any sort of very intentional “ghosting” would have been a sign of disloyalty to him. So I’ve spent this time trying to rebuild his image of me. He’s said that, for him, the bad outweighed the good, or overshadowed it. His memory is not great, and rather short, so it’s been my hope that eventually, he’d have such a hard time remembering the bad (and already he is unable to cite any specifics) and as he looked back, would only think of the nice things I’d said and done.

I don’t intend to quit doing that, or go out of my way to not speak to him. But I do feel like maybe I’ve reached a cooling off period. It’s not that I can’t spend every weekend hoping that this will be the one in which he comes home, or waiting to see if he’ll agree to hang out with me for a few hours after not seeing each other for a few months. Those hopes are all that have kept me going. But... everytime I invite him and he puts me off, doesn’t have time, even though he has time for other people and things, even though I feel like he’s telling himself that he shouldn’t see me because he does still love me, and he doesn’t want me to “get my hopes up” ... it hurts. I’ll still invite, I suppose, but I won’t plan on him showing up only to have him not.

I guess at this point, I have told myself that I can’t really expect him to ever come back. Maybe he will, but more than likely, I’ll spend the rest of my life alone, without him.

And knowing that, I can’t spend much more time in stasis, waiting around. I need to get things done. I need to fix our house and ... I don’t know. Do something. A number of things have crossed my mind. Music, riding, I don’t know. A lot of it seems like a big commitment when I have work and I want to work on the house. But I do hope that after this great show of faith and trust and loyalty, that now is organically the right time to step back. I don’t know that he’ll notice or care.

I realized the other day though, that when I was younger and what I wanted and needed when I thought about my life wasn’t him - I didn’t even know him then (although to be fair I think I just assumed that there would be someone in my life and so this wasn’t something I’d have to “want” or “need”) - it was a house, a stable place to live, a home, and...as much as it feels much less like home without him, and as much as I understand how he feels about this house and the work that it needs, I have what I need. We own this house, I can’t imagine living anywhere else right now. And I have a car and enough money and so I guess I have to settle for that and figure it out.

What do they say? “ A girl can dream...”?  I can, but it seems pretty pointless now. 

[marlaluster]

Emptying the cliptray on the new phone. ....

1. I dont see a comment i just put here. I can add it on an edit of this comment now (since the devil is trying to hide my comment) ..... I wish i could have so much stuff, Adigun. Im so deprived in my experience of a place to live. This is very bad n im not wishing this to sound downplayed at all. It is very bad this is did to a person. But i saw this thing here and i just wished to express that i personally have such a longing for a place to have n put my things. I have been someone to be attached to my things. The minimalist idea seems not bad really. Especially if you have a home. It is such a peace unto a person's own heart to have a home. There is such a thirst n longing for a home. I feel like it is my own just thirst n like also that of life itself for it being something so difficult for a person to have here in this present way of things. It is the rule of the devil n homelessness is a way the devil attacks people that challenge this rule to exist at all. Its to try to stop people from having something other than this. Its supposed to be making the people not possible to exist. A home, a home, a home, a home, a home, a home: such a wished thing. But i wish my things also, it is an idea of like just indulgence somewhat to have all my things. Homelessness makes it so people cannot keep their things n it is trouble to just live as a person has some ideas to try to. They would try to build something or it is just very impractical to not try to hold onto certain things aquired. I talk about a person n their things a lot. I even used like a reference to it as some possibly really central thing or theme for a person to live: i said man (as in mankind or human beings) n his tools. A person wishes abundance n ease n some level of an amount of things/possessions aquired n held onto can seem to help support ease n comfort etc. 2. Belonger status and naturalisation are two terms which are very often misunderstood. A person may be a British Overseas Territories Citizen (deriving that status from a connection with the Turks and Caicos Islands) without being a Belonger of the Turks and Caicos Islands. As well as a person may be a Belonger of the Turks and Caicos Islands and not be a British Overseas Territories Citizen. Because the Turks and Caicos Islands are a dependency of Britain, we do not have our own citizenship. According to British Law, dependent territories fall under the British Dependent Territories Citizenship, which means that they do not have "right of abode" in the United Kingdom. The description "British Dependent Territories" originated in the British Nationality Act of 1981. The British Dependent Territories were left to determine what link there should be between citizenship and immigration control. The immigration laws in each dependent territory determine who has a "right of abode" in the particular Country. The United Kingdom is a single jurisdiction, for immigration purposes; the dependent territories are not, although they share a single citizenship. Each Dependent Territory has its own immigration laws. Unless and until any territory chooses otherwise, citizenship is not relevant to immigration control. Belonger status does not refer to nationality. Belonger status gives all the rights which normally come with citizenship, however there is one difference; it does not give you nationality. Nationality comes from Great Britain, which the Turks and Caicos Islands is a colony of. Only 3. HOW DO YOU QUALIFY FOR NATURALISATION? Legal Requirements for Naturalisation Each applicant must meet the following legal requirements before submitting an application for Naturalisation: Must be aged 18 or older when you apply Must be of sound mind, so that you understand the steps you are taking Intend to continue to live in the Turks and Caicos Islands, or to continue in Crown Service. Must be able to communicate in English to an acceptable degree, as determined by the Immigration Officer conducting the interview process. Must be of good character. Must have held their Belonger Status or Permanent Residence Certificate for a period of at least12 months prior to making an application for naturalisation. Must be resident in the Turks and Caicos Islands for a minimum of five years before making an application for naturalisation. For those persons applying on the basis of marriage to a BOTC in addition to 1-6 above, you must have been resident in the Turks and Caicos Islands for a minimum of three (3) years. RESIDENTIAL QUALIFYING 4. https://www.visittci.com/life-and-business/living-working-in-turks-and-caicos 5. investment, yet be aware that time spent in the country under such status may not count towards obtaining a PRC. Criminal records, and certain medical and mental health issues may be grounds for rejecting applicants. Citizenship and Voting 6. guarantee.” Hurricane Irma pummels Turks and Caicos islands - BBC News BBC.com › news › world-latin-a... hurricane turks caicos from www.bbc.com Sep 8, 2017 · Hurricane Irma has pummelled the Turks and Caicos Islands after leaving a trail of destruction across the Caribbean, killing at least ... Why the Turks & Caicos rebounded so quickly after the storms: Travel Weekly Travel Weekly › Insights › Why-Turks-a... hurricane turks caicos from www.travelweekly.com Dec 12, 2017 · Grace Bay Beach on Providenciales, Turks and Caicos. ... an island whose tourism grid has recovered well from the September hurricanes. What to Know About Traveling to Turks and Caicos After Hurricane Irma | Travel + Leisure Travel and Leisure › travel-tips Video for hurricane turks caicos 1:33 Oct 3, 2017 · Turks and Caicos has rebounded quickly following two powerful hurricanes that tore through the Caribbean in September. RELATED SEARCHES 7. https://www.google.com/search?q=hurricane+turks+caicos&oq=hurricane+turks+caicos&aqs=chrome..69i57.6203j1j9&client=ms-android-mpcs-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8 8. Island Living in the Turks and Caicos Islands If you find yourself wondering what it would be like to wake up every day to sun, sand and crystal clear turquoise water you may also be curious about what is involved in owning or building a home in paradise. Consisting of two groups of islands, the Turks and Caicos include 40 islands and cays, eight of which are inhabited. Constant easterly breezes and relatively low humidity keep life comfortable here, even in the hottest months. The temperature averages in the high 70’s in the winter and the low 90’s in the late summer days. These islands boast one of the lowest crime rates and highest detection rates in the Caribbean; confrontation and violent crimes are rare. There are a few direct taxes in the TCI. Those who are employed pay a small percentage of their salary for mandatory social insurance (NIS) and also mandatory health insurance (NHIB). Self employed persons pay a slightly larger percentage. There is a one time property tax, payable by the purchaser at the time of purchase, which is referred to as the stamp tax. The rate varies based on thevalue of the land and on which island the property is located. Other 'taxes' include the duty on imported items, and a 7% customs processing fee for all items, whether duty free or not. There is no sales tax or annual property tax at this time. Residing in Paradise 9. http://www.wherewhenhow.com/turks-caicos-islands/general-information/island-living.html 10. info@wwhtci.com 11. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bll2UWhlrNC/ 12. https://www.instagram.com/p/BVGCagXBRfn/ 13. https://www.instagram.com/p/BUsLGxVhMtr/ 14. https://www.instagram.com/p/BSmbjuOBt5u/ 15. https://www.instagram.com/p/BQBpsGdj-9X/ 16. https://www.instagram.com/p/BQEPvqvAXm7/ 17. https://www.instagram.com/p/BN-a0FwD1ZK/ 18. https://www.instagram.com/p/BJWDMJ-A_09/ 19. https://www.instagram.com/p/mf04u8jfme/ 20. https://www.gov.tc/immigration/about-us/9-products-and-services/10-naturalization

[thegloober]

The Unlikely Warrior Fighting for Men’s Room Baby Changing Tables

When Donte Palmer posted a photo of himself in a men’s restroom, squatting down awkwardly, toddler splayed on his lap as he struggled to change him, the 31-year-old father of three wanted to make a point: men’s restrooms need to have the proper facilities so fathers can change diapers without having to suffer the demeaning act of squatting to balance them. He made that point — and he also started a movement. Palmer’s Instagram photo, which was taken by his 12-year-old son Isaiah, received thousands of likes; Palmer himself received messages of thanks from more than 10,000 other dads frustrated by the same situation. Realizing a universal need to spread the word about the lack of changing tables in men’s restrooms, he began the hashtag #SquatForChange so more businesses will add tables to their facilities. It caught on because, surprise surprise, fathers don’t want to feel like second-class parents. Now, Palmer is looking at starting a non-profit to continue spreading the word. We caught up with Palmer and spoke to him about fatherhood, changing tables, and the importance of the #SquatForChange movement.

So why did you decide to post the photo? Did you intend to get the response that you got?

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Initially, the picture was posted just to get a reaction from my family and my friends. The next morning I woke up and other sources had started to pick up the story. It overwhelmed me, initially. There were so many emails and text messages and phone calls. So many messages! There was a lot of support around the nation and around the world. People were saying, “Hey, we are listening to you and supporting you.” It was one of those things where I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t even want the attention. But it was a platform my wife and I talked about. We knew it was an issue. She said I should step into it, that I’m already a father, already a mentor. She wanted me to step into that role, and that’s where we came up with #SquatForChange. I just decided to push for it. This is something that needs to be addressed.

Would you say that putting changing tables in men’s restrooms is your primary goal?

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Initially, it was. That’s still the cause, that’s why we created #SquatForChange. But it’s deeper than that. This is about our fight for equitable rights. It’s a fight to shed the gender boxes that society has placed on men, making us the protectors and providers, and on women, that they’re stay-at-home home moms, raising the baby. We want to shed that box. We want to say, we are the ones who warm bottles. Women can go to work and be the breadwinner of the house, financially, too. We just want to shred all of those stereotypical gender boxes and say, ‘Let’s do this together.’

In some ways, you’re fighting for dads to also be seen as primary caregivers, instead of the ‘babysitter’ or whatever lazy jokes people make about dads.

Absolutely. There are times where I even get upset when my wife beats me to the daycare! I look forward to that stuff. I just think, society has pushed us into these roles, where we have to be these masculine and strong, non-caring men. But we’re more than that. It’s a joy for me to walk into my son’s daycare and he hear him yell “Daddy.” I look forward to those moments. Fathers around the world, we may disagree on a lot of things, but one thing we can agree on is our love for our children. That’s powerful to me.

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The support has been overwhelming, but some people are saying that the message is forgetting that moms have it tough, too. What do you think about that, the people criticizing your message?

I take it with a grain of salt. For the negative comments, I typically stay away from those. At the end of the day, it’s a great cause that I’m fighting for: to put changing tables in men’s restrooms so we can have a sanitary place to change our babies. This argument has never been to downplay or downgrade what women do, because like I say all the time, I’m married to a superhero. I learned how to be a parent from her, I learned how to be a mentor from her. She taught me how to be a better man. Women give birth to nations. We’re just fighting for equitable rights for fathers. We just want to change the narrative around fatherhood, around the world.

Aside from changing the way that people think about fathers, and about the fight for changing tables, what does #SquatForChange mean to you?

Squat is pretty much, sitting against the wall, doing a squat, with our babies in our laps. We will keep doing this, and we will keep changing our babies that way, until that change comes. It’s just a sign of protest, where fathers are getting highlighted.

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So what are the next steps for the movement?

I have a team of advisors now. We’re trying to create something to keep pushing the narrative. So it might look like a nonprofit, aimed at making the world understand that changing diapers is a man thing, too. Hopefully, and potentially, a big corporation would love to stand behind us and assist us with this stuff. Some celebrities have reached out to us saying they want to help. I can’t give too many specifics because it’s still in the really early stages, but with the changing tables comes a lot of stuff. We could do a program to support fathers, to support step fathers. There are so many things we can do with Squat for Change. Representing pure, positive relationships with our children is the beauty of it all. Fathers come from all different areas of life; different cultures, different backgrounds. The one thing we can all agree on is being a father. That, to me, is pure gold. That’s why squat for change is strong, and definitely trying to build it out, so we can keep pushing forward.

Source: https://bloghyped.com/the-unlikely-warrior-fighting-for-mens-room-baby-changing-tables/