#and az too obvs

[bu3ck3r]

jealous

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

summary: so this is partly inspired by a song called jealous by nick jonas (tysm anon for this request)

wc: 9k

a/n: after yall read this spam my inbox with literally anything! and obv tell me how was it🙂‍↔️

the locker room still smelled like sweat and celebration—someone had sprayed body spray with no regard for moderation, music was playing off a speaker in the corner, and the vibe was high. uconn had just rolled over another team, and the win had been easy, almost too easy.

azzi leaned against the wall near her locker, still half in uniform, her hair damp and curling from sweat, eyes fixed on something—or someone—across the room.

paige.

paige was laughing at something ice had said, throwing her head back in that way that made her entire presence shift. her jersey was bunched at the waist, sweat-stuck to her stomach, and her cheeks were flushed in a way that had nothing to do with exhaustion.

azzi tore her eyes away before anyone noticed. but someone did.

“you watch her like she hung the damn moon,” jana muttered as she walked by, tossing her towel onto a bench. her voice was low, teasing, but not cruel.

azzi rolled her eyes and said nothing.

later that night, the team crammed into kk’s dorm for movie night. pillows everywhere, popcorn already half eaten, someone flipping through netflix options like the right one might suddenly appear if they kept scrolling. paige walked in late—hoodie half zipped, pajama pants hanging low on her hips—and she dropped next to azzi on the floor like it was the most natural thing in the world.

azzi didn’t even blink. she just leaned into her. a shared blanket appeared. no one said anything at first, but when azzi’s head dropped onto paige’s shoulder, jana smirked and didn’t bother keeping it to herself this time.

“okay. nah. you two need to stop. i’m tired.”

azzi lifted her head slowly. “what?”

“you’re literally curled up on her like this is a rom-com,” ice added, grinning from where she was half-asleep on the couch. “just make out already and spare us.”

paige snorted. “y’all are so annoying.”

“y’all are so in denial,” jana shot back, and a chorus of laughter followed.

azzi smiled, her cheeks burning, and paige just nudged her shoulder gently. “ignore them.”

but paige couldn’t ignore the way her chest squeezed when azzi smiled at her like that. the kind of smile you didn’t give to just anybody.

they walked back to their dorms together after midnight. campus was quiet, the cold biting at their cheeks. paige had offered azzi her hoodie without thinking. azzi took it. it looked a lot better on her.

they walked in silence for a beat. paige glanced at her. the hoodie sleeves were too long, and azzi was curled into them, hands tucked inside.

“you’re quiet.”

azzi shrugged. “just thinking.”

“about?”

azzi looked at her, held her gaze a second too long. “basketball. life. stuff.”

paige nodded like she believed her. like she wasn’t dying to ask what “stuff” meant. but she didn’t. she never did.

she reached for the door handle to her dorm and paused. “night, az.”

azzi turned. “night, paige.”

paige closed the door too slowly, like maybe she wanted to say something else. like maybe this friendship—whatever it was—was killing her a little more every day.

azzi:

you still up?

paige:

always. wassup?

azzi:

just couldn’t sleep. too much film in my head

paige:

same lol

we should’ve won by more

azzi:

facts

you carried tho

paige:

nah

you always say that

azzi:

bc it’s true

paige:

you’re biased

azzi:

yeah. probably.

night p.

paige:

goodnight az.

paige stared at her phone long after the messages stopped. she didn’t know when “az” turned into “azzi” and then back into “az” again—but it felt like something. it felt like the kind of shift that changes things quietly, slowly, until one day, everything’s different and you don’t even remember how it started.

she rolled over in bed, hoodie still smelling like azzi, and whispered into the dark.

─────────── ౨ৎ ──────────

the cool autumn air nipped at the skin as paige and azzi walked back to their dorms after another long practice. their footsteps echoed in the near-empty streets of the uconn campus, only the sound of their sneakers against the pavement breaking the silence. it was one of those rare moments where everything felt suspended in time. no rush, no chaos, just the two of them, surrounded by the hum of the late afternoon and the quiet glow of campus lights.

azzi walked a little ahead, her curly hair bouncing as she moved. paige couldn’t help but watch the way it swayed with every step—how her posture was so effortlessly perfect, how she carried herself with this quiet confidence that always seemed to make everything feel effortless. she was always so focused, so calm on the court, but off it, there was something else. something that made paige’s heart beat just a little faster.

“so, are you gonna tell me why you were off today in drills, or do i have to guess?” azzi’s voice pulled paige out of her thoughts.

paige blinked, caught off guard by the question. “i wasn’t off,” she answered, trying to sound nonchalant.

azzi shot her a look, her eyebrows raised. “you missed three threes, paige. three.”

“and still dropped 18 in the scrimmage,” paige shot back with a grin, brushing it off.

azzi tilted her head, the tiniest smirk playing at her lips. “confident much?”

“maybe,” paige replied, walking a little closer to her. she couldn’t help it. every time she was near azzi, something about her presence made it hard to think clearly. “i just don’t like losing.”

azzi’s smile softened, and for a moment, everything felt like it was in perfect sync.

azzi’s voice broke the quiet again, softer this time. “you were distracted.”

paige wasn’t sure if she was imagining the tone of her voice, but it sent a little spark through her chest. “i wasn’t distracted,” she lied.

azzi didn’t seem convinced. she slowed her pace, letting paige catch up, and then they fell into step together. neither of them spoke for a while. the silence between them was comfortable but heavy, like there was something else they were both trying to ignore.

the next day, practice was intense. the gym was filled with the sound of sneakers pounding the hardwood, the shrill of the whistle cutting through the air, and the steady thump of basketballs hitting the floor. but throughout all of it, paige’s mind kept wandering. she couldn’t focus like she usually did, her thoughts drifting to azzi again and again.

she stole glances at azzi throughout drills—when azzi nailed her signature shot, when she locked down on defense, when she flashed that smile that paige couldn’t get out of her head. every movement, every shot, was flawless.

paige couldn’t deny it anymore. it wasn’t just admiration. there was something more—something that had been building since the day they met at team usa, something that had only grown stronger since azzi arrived at uconn. paige tried to shake the thought, but it lingered, wrapped around her chest like a tight knot.

the night after practice, when the team was quiet and the campus was starting to settle into its usual nighttime rhythm, paige found herself staring at her phone. she had half a mind to just toss it on her bed and forget about it. but she couldn’t. not when azzi’s name was suddenly lighting up her screen.

azzi:

you good?

paige:

yeah just tired

why?

azzi:

idk you were quiet after practice

paige:

you noticed that huh

azzi:

always

paige:

cute

azzi:

are you flirting with me, bueckers?

paige:

would you be mad if i was?

…typing…

…typing stopped…

azzi:

i wouldn’t

paige blinked. she stared at the words, her heart thumping painfully against her chest. she didn’t know if she was relieved, terrified, or both. her fingers hovered over her phone again, but she didn’t reply. the words felt too heavy. too real.

the following morning, paige woke up to an empty room. ice had already left for a study session, and jana was probably at the gym getting in extra work. paige grabbed her phone, still replaying azzi’s text from the night before in her mind. she ran her hand through her messy hair and groaned. she had to focus. they had a game in two days, and she had to shake the feeling that everything was slowly shifting under her feet.

as she walked into the gym that day, she noticed azzi already warming up. she was practicing her jump shots, smooth and precise. paige couldn’t stop watching, feeling that familiar pull in her chest whenever azzi moved, whenever she smiled that quiet smile that always made paige’s heart skip.

they were running through drills later, and paige could feel the shift between them.

azzi was sitting a little closer during film review, her knee grazing paige’s under the table. it was subtle, but paige couldn’t ignore the way her skin tingled from the brief contact. every time azzi leaned over to point out a play or ask for paige’s opinion, her breath caught, her mind whirling.

“you okay?” azzi whispered, her gaze searching paige’s face.

paige nodded, but inside, her thoughts were a mess. she wanted to lean in, wanted to tell azzi everything. but the words wouldn’t come. “yeah. just… thinking,” paige muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

azzi’s lips curled into that soft, knowing smile that always seemed to break paige into pieces.

paige:

that fadeaway’s not fair

azzi:

you were staring again

paige:

you’re hard not to look at

azzi:

…

you’re gonna ruin me with texts like that

paige:

you like that huh?

azzi:

maybe

paige didn’t sleep that night. she couldn’t. every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was azzi’s face, that smile, the way their eyes had met across the gym.

game day arrived, and paige played like her life depended on it. aggressive, sharp, dominant—every move felt effortless. but every time she scored, her eyes flicked to the bench. to azzi.

after the game, the locker room buzzed with excitement. the team was laughing and shouting, the adrenaline still pumping in their veins. but paige couldn’t focus. she grabbed her towel and wiped her face, but her mind kept drifting back to the night before, to the words that had been said.

jana tossed her a towel. “damn, you were on fire tonight,” she said, her grin wide. “but i swear, you’re playing like azzi’s watching you like she wants to write poetry about your jump shot.”

ice chimed in, clearly teasing. “for real, it’s like y’all live in your own little bubble.”

azzi shot both of them a glare, her cheeks flushed. “shut up.”

paige just smiled, but deep down, she was wondering if they were right. she could feel the weight of azzi’s gaze on her whenever she played. it wasn’t just basketball anymore. it was… something else.

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game day at gampel had its own rhythm—buzzing sneakers, whispered prayers, warmups under the blinding arena lights. paige could feel it in her bones before she even laced her shoes. but today, the adrenaline coursing through her veins wasn’t just about basketball. it was something else. something—or someone—who had taken up more and more of her headspace lately.

azzi.

she always looked calm before tipoff, like the noise around her couldn’t touch her. her face calm, lips slightly parted, long lashes casting shadows on her cheeks. paige watched her from the opposite end of the locker room, surrounded by teammates but completely in her own lane.

azzi was sitting on the floor, pulling her socks over her calves, airpods in, nodding to whatever was playing. paige had no idea what the song was, but she wanted to know. she wanted to ask. she wanted to sit beside her, pull one airpod out, and just be that close.

instead, she sat still, a towel draped over her lap, her eyes betraying her again and again as they drifted back to azzi.

she wasn’t proud of how much she stared. she thought she was subtle—sneaking glances in between stretches or when geno was talking—but she wasn’t. ice caught her once and gave her a look like, seriously? paige had just shrugged and mumbled something about defense.

but it wasn’t defense.

it was the way azzi’s laugh made paige’s stomach do things. how it bubbled out of her when she was teasing jana, or when someone showed her a funny tiktok in the locker room. it was that rare, unguarded smile she gave when something really got her. paige found herself chasing that laugh in her mind when she couldn’t sleep.

it was the way azzi’s jersey rode up during shootaround, revealing just a toned stomach, glistening with sweat. and paige—god, she hated herself for how much she noticed. she was a player, a leader, a teammate. she wasn’t supposed to be distracted like this.

and yet.

the worst part? the way azzi smelled.

it wasn’t even fair. vanilla and something warm that paige couldn’t place. something that made her dizzy if azzi stood too close. and she often did—leaning in to check notes, standing shoulder to shoulder during team huddles, brushing against her on the bench.

“yo, paige.” it was ice again. “you good?”

“huh?” paige blinked, startled.

“you’ve been zoned out for like ten minutes,” ice said, towel slung over her shoulder. “what’s going on with you?”

“nothing. just locked in,” paige lied, pulling on her warmup shirt. but her heart was beating too fast. her hands were slightly clammy. she wasn’t locked in—she was unraveling, and it all had a name.

azzi.

they were up by 12. the energy in the locker room was electric. coach was going over adjustments on the whiteboard, players hydrating and bouncing their legs, but paige?

paige was sitting beside azzi. too close. or maybe not close enough.

azzi’s knee bumped hers lightly as they sat on the bench, and paige froze. her breath caught for half a second. azzi didn’t even seem to notice—or maybe she did and just didn’t say anything.

paige risked a glance. azzi’s head was down, towel over her shoulders, lips parted slightly as she caught her breath. there was a tiny mole just under her jawline paige had never noticed before. her skin gleamed from exhaustion, and the faintest flush was still high on her cheeks.

“good first half,” azzi said softly, not looking up.

“yeah,” paige said, trying to swallow the knot in her throat. “you too.”

azzi finally turned her head, eyes locking with paige’s.

there was a beat. a second too long.

something passed between them. something paige couldn’t name. but it was thick and real and left her breathless.

now they were back in the locker room, jerseys peeled off, music playing low over the speakers, the smell of victory (and sweat) lingering in the air. jana was hyping everyone up, dancing around with her bottle like it was champagne. kk was talking trash about her fourth quarter steal.

paige sat on the bench, head tilted back, eyes closed for just a second. her body ached in that beautiful, earned way. but when she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was azzi—across the room, standing in front of her open locker, tugging off her compression sleeves. there was something about the way her fingers moved, the slow, methodical grace of it, like everything she did was deliberate.

paige’s mouth went dry.

it hit her like a punch to the gut: she was falling. hard. really hard

and the way her teammates joked—jana saying things like “okay, but if i catch y’all making heart eyes during warmups one more time…”—only made it harder to pretend it was nothing.

paige would always laugh it off. “you’re delusional,” she’d say, deflecting like it was second nature.

but she wasn’t laughing inside.

inside, she was spiraling. because this thing—this impossible, distracting, beautiful thing—was not just a phase.

it was real.

and it was starting to show.

that night, the team gathered in one of the common lounges for movie night. someone had dragged in a few extra bean bags, and the couch cushions were already claimed by the time paige and azzi walked in together.

it wasn’t even planned—azzi just bumped her shoulder against paige’s in the hallway outside the gym and said, “you coming to that movie night?”

and like always, paige said yes.

the lights were low, the movie already playing, but paige wasn’t watching. azzi had claimed the spot right beside her, curling up on the couch, legs folded under her, and paige somehow ended up with azzi’s shoulder pressed against hers. again. azzi didn’t move. neither did paige.

about halfway through the movie, azzi shifted closer. she was practically tucked against paige now, warm and soft and so close that paige could smell that vanilla–something blend again. she didn’t know how it happened, but azzi’s head slowly rested against her shoulder. her breath hitched.

don’t make it weird, don’t make it weird.

jana, sitting on the floor in front of them, turned around mid-bite of her popcorn and gave them a look.

“okay, but like…” she whispered to ice beside her. “seriously, this isn’t even subtle anymore.”

ice glanced back and whispered back, not even trying to hide the smirk: “bro. just get together already.”

paige felt her ears burn, but azzi didn’t move. she just yawned quietly, like nothing was out of the ordinary, like paige wasn’t about to have a stroke from how fast her heart was beating.

her phone buzzed in her lap.

azzi:

ignore them

paige stared at the message. the corners of her mouth twitched.

paige:

i’m trying

hard

azzi:

is it that bad?

being this close?

paige didn’t answer right away. she was afraid of what she might say if she told the truth.

paige:

not bad

just… a lot

she waited. nothing.

but azzi didn’t move away.

the next day, paige was back in the gym early, trying to clear her head. shots were automatic, but her mind wasn’t. azzi’s voice, her laugh, the way she felt against her—it all kept looping in her brain like a highlight reel she couldn’t turn off.

she was mid-rep when ice showed up, tossed her a towel, and said, “you gotta figure this out, bro.”

paige shot her a look. “what are you talking about?”

ice just raised an eyebrow. “you’re in love with her. and unless you want to keep spiraling, maybe actually talk to her?”

“i’m not spiraling,” paige lied.

“you’re listening to frank ocean in the weight room, paige.”

paige shut her eyes. busted.

─────────── ౨ৎ ──────────

the whole team went out after their win. uconn’s usual haunt, ted’s, was packed with students. the music was loud, the lights low, and the floor sticky with beer. paige had meant to just hang out, have fun, maybe let off some steam.

but the second she walked in and saw azzi across the room—talking to some guy by the bar, laughing a little too easily—something in her snapped.

it wasn’t that azzi was doing anything wrong. she was being azzi—friendly, charming, beautiful. but paige couldn’t stand how close the guy leaned toward her. couldn’t stand how azzi didn’t move away.

and that damn song started playing.

“i don’t like the way he’s looking at you, i’m starting to think you want him too…”

paige froze.

the lyrics hit too close. the jealousy roared up in her chest, hot and bitter and undeniable. she tried to look away, but her eyes stayed locked on azzi. on the guy. on the way azzi leaned in to hear him over the music.

“you’re too fuckin’, beautiful, and everybody wants a taste…”

paige downed her drink.

and another.

and another.

it was hot and loud, the kind of place where bad decisions had room to breathe. paige was pressed against the bar, half-done with her third drink when jana slid in next to her like she’d been tracking her all night.

“okay, what the hell are you doing?” jana said, snatching paige’s cup before she could take another sip.

paige raised a brow. “i’m having a drink.”

“three drinks,” ice added, appearing on the other side of her like a stealthy twin. “in twenty minutes. you trying to pregame a blackout?”

“i’m fine,” paige said tightly, eyes fixed across the room again—where azzi was still talking to that guy, her face half-lit by the neon sign above the bar.

ice followed her gaze and sighed. “this is about her, isn’t it?”

“no,” paige snapped. “yes. maybe.”

jana made a face. “girl, you’re being dramatic as hell.”

“you don’t get it.”

“we do,” ice said. “more than you think. you’ve been gone since she got here.”

jana leaned in, voice low. “you’re acting like this is middle school. you like her. she probably likes you. just talk to her.”

“she doesn’t—”

“she does,” ice cut in. “you think we haven’t noticed? azzi watches you like a movie.”

that made paige look away.

jana didn’t let up. “look, i know it’s scary, but drinking your feelings while she talks to some random guy isn’t the move. you’re paige fucking bueckers. pull yourself together.”

paige turned the now-empty glass in her hands, knuckles white around the rim. “it’s not just about jealousy. it’s… i’ve been holding this in since team usa. since the day i met her. and every time i think i’m over it, she does something like laugh or look at me like i’m all she sees and—”

she shook her head. “i can’t do this anymore.”

ice and jana exchanged a look, but neither said anything.

paige ignored them both, eyes still on azzi. everything else was a blur. music thumping, laughter around her, teammates dancing—but all she could see was azzi.

when she saw the guy’s hand brush azzi’s arm, that was it.

paige downed the last sip in her cup and set it on the bar like a final period. “i’m talking to her.”

she pushed through the crowd, half-drunk but clear-headed enough to know this couldn’t wait. she reached azzi and grabbed her wrist, gently but firmly.

azzi turned, surprised. “paige?”

“we need to talk,” paige said, her voice low, almost pleading.

azzi hesitated. “paige, are you—”

she didn’t wait for a response. she turned, heart pounding, and made her way across the room—straight toward azzi.

the music pulsed around them, a chaotic blend of bass and laughter. paige’s heart pounded in her chest as she navigated through the crowd, her eyes locked on azzi.

the night air slapped paige in the face the second they stepped out of ted’s. cold, sharp, sobering. her fingers were still loosely curled around azzi’s wrist, but she let go as soon as they were far enough from the door for the music to dull to a distant thump.

azzi stood in front of her, arms crossed over her chest, clearly thrown by the sudden exit. her brows were furrowed, lips parted slightly. “paige, what the hell was that?”

paige didn’t answer at first. she looked down, then up, eyes dancing between the ground and azzi’s face like she couldn’t decide where to land.

“i couldn’t watch anymore,” she finally said, voice barely above a whisper.

“watch what?” azzi asked. her tone wasn’t annoyed—more confused, careful. like she knew something was coming but didn’t want to assume too much too fast.

“you. with him.”

a beat.

“that guy?” azzi asked, almost incredulous. “he was just talking. he asked about the game. that’s all.”

“i know,” paige said quickly. “i know. that’s the worst part.”

azzi’s arms slowly dropped to her sides. “then what is this? what’s going on with you?”

paige took a shaky breath and stepped closer. “i’m losing my mind over you.”

azzi’s breath hitched, eyes flickering in surprise.

“i’ve tried to pretend it was nothing. that it’s just a phase or a dumb crush or some… whatever. but it’s not. it’s every day. it’s every time i see you in the gym i just—” she broke off, frustrated with herself.

azzi looked like she wasn’t even breathing.

“i think about you constantly,” paige continued, quieter now. “and it’s not just attraction or whatever—i mean, yeah, you’re beautiful and it’s driving me absolutely insane, but it’s more than that. i want to tell you when something good happens. i want to walk you home after practice and… i want to be the person who gets to be close to you. like, really close.”

her voice cracked on the last word.

azzi stepped forward, just a little. her expression was unreadable, but her eyes were soft.

“paige…” she started gently. “you’re drunk. maybe we should talk about this when you’re sober.”

“i’m not drunk,” paige said quickly, firmly. “okay, yeah, i had a few, but i’ve never been more clearheaded in my life. if i don’t say this now, i won’t. i’ve been swallowing this for months, az. since team usa. since the second i saw you on that court and knew i was in trouble.”

azzi didn’t move.

“you walked into uconn like you belonged here and everyone was watching you like you were already a star,” paige said, her voice thick with something like awe. “and i was just… gone. i didn’t even fight it.”

azzi took another step forward. they were close now—close enough that paige could see the flutter of her eyelashes, the subtle shift in her breathing.

“you never said anything,” azzi whispered.

“i was scared. i didn’t want to lose you. not even just as a teammate or a friend. i didn’t want to make it weird. i’d rather die than make it weird.”

azzi tilted her head slightly, her lips twitching into a soft, almost sad smile. “you think you were hiding it?”

paige blinked. “i… tried to.”

azzi finally reached out, her fingers brushing paige’s wrist. “you weren’t. not from me.”

the silence between them was thick now, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. it pulsed with the weight of everything unsaid—until now.

“so what does that mean?” paige asked, voice barely audible.

azzi hesitated just long enough to make her next words feel deliberate.

“it means i’ve been waiting for you to say it out loud.”

paige’s eyes snapped up to meet hers. “you…?”

“i’m not good at this,” azzi said, laughing quietly. “feelings, i mean. i keep things inside too, but i’ve wanted this. you. since forever.”

paige was stunned into stillness.

“i didn’t know if i was reading too much into it,” azzi continued. “i mean, we’d hang out and you’d look at me like i hung the moon, and then two seconds later you’d act like nothing happened. i didn’t want to ruin it either.”

“i did hang the moon,” paige joked.

azzi laughed—really laughed—and paige swore she could’ve melted right there.

and then it happened.

azzi leaned in, slow, careful, like giving paige time to back out. but paige didn’t move. she couldn’t. her body leaned forward before her brain even caught up.

when their lips met, it was soft. hesitant. testing.

but when paige cupped azzi’s cheek, deepening the kiss, azzi responded like she’d been holding back for years.

because she had.

they broke apart only when the door to the bar cracked open again, voices spilling out. they stepped back just enough to breathe.

“come back to my dorm?” paige asked, voice low and rough around the edges.

azzi didn’t hesitate. “yeah.”

they walked in silence at first.

the campus was nearly empty, the night sky hanging low and heavy with stars. paige’s hand brushed against azzi’s once, then again. the third time, azzi reached out and laced their fingers together.

neither of them said anything about it.

they walked back to the dorm in silence, but it wasn’t awkward—it was electric. like every word they could’ve said was sitting just under their skin, humming like static. paige’s hand found azzi’s halfway there, their fingers tangling like they’d done it a hundred times—but this time, it meant something else. it felt different. everything did.

when they got to the building, paige didn’t even ask. she just held the door open for azzi, who slipped past her without a word, brushing against her shoulder like it was second nature.

it was.

because azzi had been here before—dozens of times. for movie nights, naps between practices, studying, random after-practice rants. she’d curled up on paige’s bed, worn her hoodie, stolen her snacks. this dorm wasn’t unfamiliar.

but when they walked into the room this time, azzi paused.

paige noticed it immediately.

the lights were low, just the glow from the desk lamp and the string lights over the window. a sweatshirt—azzi’s, actually—was draped over the back of paige’s chair. the same lavender candle azzi had gifted her was still on the sill, next to a water bottle and a mess of hair ties.

it was all the same. but now it felt like more.

azzi turned slowly, her voice quieter than usual. “we’ve been here so many times.”

“i know,” paige said, closing the door behind them. “but not like this.”

azzi gave a little nod, her eyes scanning the room like it was suddenly unfamiliar. like she was seeing it through a new lens. maybe she was.

her gaze lingered on paige’s bed, then on paige.

paige’s heart was thudding, loud and hot in her chest.

“you okay?” azzi asked softly.

“i don’t know,” paige admitted. “i’ve never done this before.”

“done what?”

“this,” she said, stepping closer. “said it out loud. let it be real.”

azzi’s eyes didn’t leave hers. “you were always obvious, you know.”

paige blinked. “i was not.”

azzi laughed under her breath. “you’d stare at me, and then immediately pretend you weren’t.”

“you’re making things up,” paige said, but she was smiling now, the tension breaking slightly.

“i’m not,” azzi said, taking a step forward. “you think i didn’t notice how quiet you’d get when i sat too close? or how you’d text me good luck before every game, even when we were in the same hotel?”

paige looked down, cheeks flushed. “i wasn’t ready to mess this up.”

“you didn’t,” azzi said gently. “you couldn’t.”

they were inches apart now, the space between them small enough that paige could feel the warmth coming off her.

“i keep thinking i’m gonna wake up and this won’t be real,” paige said quietly.

azzi reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind paige’s ear. “it is real paige.”

that touch, light and careful almost too much.

“i feel like i’ve wanted this for so long, i don’t even know how to handle it now that it’s here,” paige admitted.

azzi’s voice dropped, softer now. “then let’s not rush. let’s just… be here.”

so they sat.

paige kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed like she’d done a thousand times. azzi followed without hesitation, folding her legs beneath her, shoulder brushing paige’s. familiar, but weighted now. electrified.

they sat in silence, legs tangled lazily, faces turned toward each other. every little glance, every breath, was a new kind of intimacy.

and then paige reached out, slow, fingers brushing the inside of azzi’s wrist. azzi turned her hand over, letting paige trace the lines of her palm.

“i thought i’d ruined it when i told you,” paige said after a minute.

“you didn’t,” azzi said. “you fixed it.”

they leaned into each other again, and this time the kiss was soft. slow. unhurried. it tasted like adrenaline and years of wanting buried under years of almost.

when they broke apart, they didn’t say anything. just breathed.

and when paige rested her head on azzi’s shoulder, azzi leaned hers against the top of paige’s without hesitation.

outside, the wind rustled through the trees.

inside, it was just them.

─────────── ౨ৎ ──────────

they were still on the bed.

azzi’s legs were stretched out across the comforter, ankles crossed, head tipped slightly as she looked at paige—just looked, like she was trying to memorize her all over again under the low light.

paige, sitting opposite, hugged one knee to her chest and toyed with a loose thread on her sweats. she could feel azzi’s gaze, hot and focused, like it was burning through the chill of the room. it made her pulse flutter in places she wasn’t proud of.

“why are you looking at me like that?” paige asked, half-joking, half-serious.

azzi tilted her head, the corner of her mouth lifting. “i’m allowed to now, right?”

that knocked the breath out of paige a little. “you’ve always been allowed.”

“okay,” azzi said, voice low. “then i’m choosing now to actually do it.”

paige couldn’t stop the smile that crept across her lips. “you’re flirting with me.”

azzi shrugged, eyes still locked on hers. “maybe.”

paige leaned back on her palms, trying to look casual, even though her heart was pounding. “you always do this?”

“do what?”

“make people fall for you without even trying.”

azzi smiled, slow and dangerous. “i didn’t want just anyone to fall for me.”

paige stared, stunned into silence.

azzi’s gaze dropped to her mouth for a second. just a second. but paige felt it like a lightning strike.

it made her sit up straighter.

“you sure you’re not drunk?” azzi teased, voice soft but teasing enough to make paige’s stomach twist in the best way.

paige arched a brow. “i could say the same thing about you.”

azzi grinned. “nope. stone cold sober. just stupid for you.”

that earned her a pillow to the face. she laughed, catching it and tossing it back aside—but the sound was warm and bright and filled the room with something almost unbearably soft.

paige reached for the candle on her windowsill—the lavender one azzi gave her on her birthday—and flicked it open, sniffing it with exaggerated flair.

“still kinda smells like you,” she said, trying to sound casual.

azzi raised an eyebrow. “are you saying you’ve been sniffing it when i’m not around?”

“no comment.”

azzi leaned in. “that’s adorable.”

paige glanced away, biting her bottom lip to fight the smile. “you’re annoying.”

“you love it.”

“i really do,” paige murmured before she could stop herself.

and just like that, the energy shifted again. slower now. still warm, but heavier. more tender.

azzi reached out and brushed her fingers over paige’s knee, her touch feather-light. “can i ask you something?”

“anything.”

azzi’s hand didn’t move. “that first night we had a team movie night… when i fell asleep on your shoulder and everyone teased us… did that mean something to you?”

paige swallowed, the memory hitting her hard. that night had haunted her.

“yeah,” she said quietly. “it meant everything.”

azzi nodded. “same.”

paige looked down at azzi’s hand on her leg, then back up to her. “i wanted to hold you. so badly. but i thought if i did, i’d give myself away.”

“you already had,” azzi whispered.

silence.

their breathing was the only sound now.

paige leaned in slowly, testing the space. azzi didn’t move away—instead, she matched her, closing the distance so naturally it felt like gravity. their foreheads brushed, and neither of them spoke. they didn’t need to.

“i want to kiss you again,” paige breathed.

azzi smiled. “so kiss me.”

this time, the kiss didn’t feel hesitant at all. it was open-mouthed, searching, laced with a hunger that had been simmering for too long. paige’s hand found azzi’s jaw, gentle but certain, and azzi’s fingers curled in the fabric of paige’s hoodie like she was anchoring herself.

they pulled back just enough to breathe, and azzi let out a shaky laugh. “you’re kind of dangerous like this.”

paige smirked, forehead still pressed against hers. “why?”

“because i don’t want to leave.”

paige’s voice was rough. “then don’t.”

azzi kissed her again.

the string lights above paige’s window gave everything a warm, soft glow—gold bleeding into shadows, painting azzi’s cheekbones and catching in her lashes. her lips were kiss-bitten. her breathing, a little uneven.

paige leaned back against the headboard, her arm draped over a pillow, and watched azzi cross her legs at the foot of the bed, hoodie sliding up to expose skin above her shorts. it wasn’t new. azzi had sat in that exact spot a dozen times. but tonight? tonight it was driving paige insane.

azzi caught her staring.

“what?” she asked, coy smile tugging at her lips.

“you’re unfair,” paige said, voice rough around the edges.

azzi tilted her head. “how?”

“you sit there like that—like it’s nothing. like you don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

azzi blinked slowly. “paige.”

“yeah?”

“i know exactly what i’m doing to you.”

paige choked on a breath, jaw slack. “okay, wow.”

azzi laughed, low and proud of herself. “you kinda walked into that one.”

“you’re cocky now. that’s new.”

azzi crawled closer, inch by inch, hands moving slow on the comforter like she was stalking prey. “you just never gave me the chance to be.”

paige didn’t move. couldn’t. “and now that i have?”

azzi hovered above her, one knee pressed between paige’s thighs, her hands braced on either side of paige’s hips. close enough to kiss, but not doing it. just making her want.

“i’m not holding back anymore,” azzi whispered.

paige’s breath caught. “then don’t.”

but azzi didn’t kiss her—not yet. instead, she leaned in, lips brushing paige’s jaw, her cheek, the corner of her mouth. never quite there. never quite enough. paige’s hands found azzi’s waist, fingers slipping under the hem of her hoodie like they had a mind of their own.

“you always smelled so insanely good,” paige murmured.

azzi grinned against her skin. “still do?”

“yeah,” paige said, voice low. “it’s killing me.”

azzi leaned back slightly, eyes dark with something deeper than play. “you’re allowed to want me.”

“i’ve always wanted you,” paige said, barely a whisper. “since team usa. since you smiled at me in that stupid oversized jersey. since i couldn’t stop texting you after practice like a damn idiot.”

azzi’s mouth parted, stunned by the confession.

“i wanted you when you wore my sweatshirt and acted like it was no big deal,” paige went on. “when you fell asleep on my shoulder and i didn’t move for two hours because i didn’t want to wake you. when you laughed at my corny playlist and still asked me to send it to you”

azzi cupped her face now, her thumbs brushing paige’s cheeks like she was trying to memorize them. “why didn’t you say anything?”

“because i thought if you didn’t feel the same, i’d lose you. and that was worse than wanting you in silence.”

azzi’s eyes softened—glassy, wet. she kissed her then, slow and full of something thick and heavy. paige melted into it. into her.

they shifted, the way they always had—easily, instinctively. azzi’s back hit the pillows next, and paige hovered above her, brushing hair from her forehead with trembling fingers.

their mouths met again and again—soft kisses that deepened, deep kisses that turned into something hot and slow and needy.

azzi tugged paige’s hoodie off. paige kissed a trail down her throat.

there were no rules now.

no fear.

only want.

and between stolen kisses and laughter that slipped from their mouths between gasps, paige whispered against azzi’s skin, “i’ve never wanted anyone like i want you.”

azzi’s hands moved up paige’s back, pulling her closer. “then have me.”

and paige did.

not rushed. not careless. but like a promise she’d been waiting to keep.

the room was quieter now, the soft hum of the outside world muted by the thick, heavy air inside paige’s dorm. the only light was the dim glow from the string lights above, casting long shadows that curled around the bed like a secret.

azzi was still lying next to paige, their legs tangled together beneath the soft sheets. paige’s head rested on azzi’s chest, her breath evening out in that familiar rhythm. it felt like she could stay there forever—pressing herself into azzi’s warmth, soaking in the quiet comfort of having everything she wanted, right in front of her.

azzi’s fingers traced small patterns on paige’s back, the touch so light it was almost imperceptible. it was a touch she’d never been able to offer before, but now it felt like it was meant to be this way—soft, comforting, and full of unspoken words. they didn’t need to talk yet. the silence between them said everything.

“i can’t believe we’re here,” paige whispered, the words so soft they were barely audible, as though saying them out loud might make everything feel too real.

azzi’s chest rose and fell with a deep breath, her hand still slowly drawing circles on paige’s back. “i can,” she said quietly. “i’ve been waiting for this. i’ve been wanting this.”

paige lifted her head just enough to glance up at her, the warmth of her gaze meeting azzi’s tired but content eyes. “you have?” she asked, voice tinged with disbelief. “i always thought i was the only one who felt this way. like, maybe i was just… imagining things.”

azzi smiled, that quiet, knowing smile that made paige’s heart flip in her chest. “you’re not imagining things, paige. you never were.”

paige closed her eyes, letting the weight of that settle over her like a soft blanket. it was the kind of reassurance she didn’t know she needed until now. it felt like something inside her that had been aching for months finally released. it was more than relief—it was peace.

azzi’s hand found paige’s, their fingers intertwining naturally, like it was the easiest thing in the world. the way their hands fit together was a promise in itself—an unspoken understanding that neither of them had to say much. not yet. not now.

“i’ve wanted you for so long,” paige admitted quietly, her voice shaky in a way that made azzi’s chest tighten with affection. “i think i’ve always known i did. i just didn’t know how to say it.”

azzi’s thumb stroked the back of her hand. “you don’t have to say anything, paige. i’ve known. i’ve always known.”

paige’s heart ached with the sweetness of it. she tucked her head back onto azzi’s chest, her fingers tracing the outline of her shoulder, as if trying to memorize the feel of her skin.

azzi’s voice was low, quiet, but sure. “it’s not just the way you look at me, paige. it’s the way you are with me. how you show up, even when you’re unsure. how you care. you make me feel like i’m the only one in the room.”

paige’s breath hitched. she knew she was blushing, she could feel the heat spreading to her cheeks, but it wasn’t just embarrassment. it was something tender, something a little bit raw.

“i guess you’re the only one in the room now,” she said, teasing slightly, though the words were still soft. she shifted just enough to catch azzi’s eyes.

azzi’s smile softened, her fingers brushing the side of paige’s face. “i’m okay with that.”

paige felt her chest tighten again, but this time in a way that felt good. she could still taste azzi on her lips, the softness of her skin still fresh against her fingers. it felt like she was living in this moment, like it had been waiting for them to find it, and now that they had… it was everything.

“i just… i don’t know what to do with myself now,” paige admitted, a little embarrassed by the admission, but also relieved to say it. “like, we’re here. this is real. and i don’t want to mess it up.”

azzi’s laugh was soft, almost a chuckle, as her thumb brushed across paige’s cheek in a comforting motion. “you’re not going to mess it up, paige. you never could. you’ve got all the time in the world.”

paige smiled, feeling that familiar pull in her chest, a soft ache that only azzi could create. “you always know how to make me feel better.”

azzi’s fingers danced to the back of paige’s neck, gently tracing the nape, then running her hand through the strands of paige’s hair. “it’s not hard when i know what you need.”

there was a moment where they just laid there, tangled in the quiet. neither of them spoke, but there was no need to. the silence between them was the kind that only came when you were perfectly at ease with someone. when you didn’t need to fill the space with anything because everything was already said.

“are you staying the night?” paige asked, breaking the silence just enough to feel the weight of it shift.

azzi didn’t hesitate. “yeah. i want to.”

it was all paige needed to hear. she closed her eyes, letting the moment wash over her—letting azzi’s heartbeat steady beneath her ear, letting the warmth of her hand lacing through hers sink in.

as the night stretched on, the air around them settled into a comfortable, almost sacred quiet. the only sounds were their steady breaths, the rustling of sheets, and the soft tick-tock of the clock on the wall, counting away the hours until morning. they both knew they didn’t need to rush. they didn’t need to say anything more.

for the first time in a long time, paige let herself believe that maybe—just maybe—this was how things were meant to be.

and in the quiet of the night, with azzi’s breath steady against her ear, paige finally allowed herself to drift to sleep, knowing she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

─────────── ౨ৎ ──────────

the sunlight creeping in through paige’s dorm window was too damn bright.

she groaned, squinting one eye open, momentarily disoriented by the unfamiliar weight draped across her waist.

and then she remembered.

azzi.

wrapped around her like they belonged together. hair a sleepy mess against the pillow, her soft breaths brushing paige’s collarbone, fingers still loosely curled in the hem of paige’s shirt like she’d fallen asleep refusing to let go.

paige couldn’t help it—she stared.

because this version of azzi? this post confession, tangled up in her sheets version? she wasn’t just beautiful. she was home.

azzi stirred, murmuring something paige didn’t quite catch, and burrowed closer.

paige smiled.

“i could get used to this,” she whispered.

azzi’s eyes fluttered open, groggy and heavy-lidded, and met hers. “good,” she said, voice still rough with sleep. “because i’m not leaving anytime soon.”

paige leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “promise?”

azzi just nodded, and that was enough.

they managed to roll out of bed an hour later, not because they wanted to, but because ice had sent paige a very unsubtle text.

ice: lunch. 20 mins. don’t be weird.

ice: if you’re late i will assume it’s for gay reasons

ice: actually you know what. be late. i’m begging you

paige showed the texts to azzi, who just snorted and mumbled, “she knows.”

and she did.

by the time they walked into the dining hall, paige in a hoodie she’d definitely worn the night before and azzi looking suspiciously too happy, the uconn girls were already seated at their usual long table.

ice spotted them first and elbowed jana so hard she nearly dropped her smoothie.

“look who finally decided to show up,” ice said.

jana didn’t even try to be chill. “slept good, huh?”

paige gave them both a flat look. “morning.”

azzi, for her part, looked almost smug as she slid onto the bench beside paige, their knees brushing. she reached for a carton of orange juice like nothing was out of the ordinary.

“you know,” nika said, leaning across the table, “we literally watched you two make heart eyes for months. and now you roll up here looking like… that.”

“like what?” paige said, fighting a smile.

“like you’ve been making out for twelve hours and forgot how to act,” jana said without missing a beat.

azzi bit her lip, cheeks pink, but didn’t deny it.

paige, feeling entirely called out, just sighed. “y’all are annoying.”

ice grinned, wide and evil. “and you’re in love.”

there was a pause. paige looked at azzi. azzi looked at paige.

and then azzi said, quiet but sure, “yeah. i think we are.”

nika literally dropped her phone.

the table exploded.

“no way—she said it—”

“bro. bro.”

“you guys were basically dating anyway,” kk said calmly, sipping her coffee like she’d seen it all coming. “we were just waiting for you two to figure it out.”

azzi hid her face behind her hand, laughing.

paige tried to glare, but she couldn’t stop grinning. “you all suck.”

“we ship it,” jana said sweetly.

ice leaned back with a self-satisfied smirk. “best lunch ever.”

later, when the chaos died down and most of the team had wandered off, paige and azzi stayed behind, still tucked into their side of the table, sipping the last of their drinks in easy silence.

azzi leaned her shoulder against paige’s. “we’re never gonna hear the end of this, huh?”

paige shook her head. “not a chance.”

azzi turned to her, voice low. “worth it, though.”

paige smiled, lacing their fingers together under the table. “yeah. so worth it.”

and with the sun shining through the windows and the warmth of azzi beside her, paige knew—without a doubt—she’d never been happier to be teased in her life.

[velarisdusk]

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD PREFACE:

these are NOT meant to be soundalikes. i think our guys would use their own intonations, inflections, and creative decisions for things like cadence and ad-libs in these songs. this is meant to be a showcase of what vibes i think their songs would be. under the cut, i'll have notes on why i chose tracks, certain covers of songs, etc.

All that to say—This Is: Wings of Illyria

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ updated to include 13, 16, 24 (i didn't put them the first time bc i was being a COWARD) as well as 18 :) ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

01 The Great Escape — BOYS LIKE GIRLS the song that started it all.... i've definitely said this way too many times, but i'll say it again. the bridge. 'we won't hear a word.... they.... say / they don't know us anyway.' that is azriel's part. that is where the crowd goes batshit (buh dum tss). i think their songs would be a range of stuff like pop-punk, alt, rock. this one might be a bit different than the rest of the energy of the playlist, but i was not folding on this one, it HAD to be in the playlist.

02 Seven Nation Army — The White Stripes the bass in this is so iconic and i thought az deserved it. thats pretty much the only reason, i can't even lie

03 Take Me Out — Franz Ferdinand i just really love this song LMFAOOOO also i can see rhys KILLING IT on guitar. i ALSO really like the thought of az and cass having fun shouting the backing vocals. OH OH and az and rhys playing their instruments back to back with these shit-eating smirks on their faces mmm yum

04 Somebody Told Me — The Killers this is the first of the "fun" songs i chose for them, i think that'll make more sense when you listen to the rest of the "fun" ones. like i think these are the slightly less serious songs that they'd enjoy performing.

05 Kryptonite — 3 Doors Down i think this is one of the ones i find truer to their usual sound (usual, i say, as if i didnt just make it all up lol)

06 Sex on Fire — Kings of Leon a more mellow one comparatively. the instrumentals are great in this and i see them having fun with it

07 Come As You Are — Nirvana also a bit more mellow, but i think rhys would kill this

08 Aerials — System Of A Down so.. serj tankian has a very unique voice and i love it but obv rhys wouldnt sound like that yknow? i just think the guitar in this song is awesome and i think rhys would have a lot of fun playing this one (also az on harmony yum)

09 The Kill — Thirty Seconds To Mars a classic emo/alt song. this one all around is AMAZING for them. the backing vocals, the belting, the DRUMS. cass would have so much fun on this one

10 Everlong — Foo Fighters starts slow but picks up, i think the instrumentals all around are very them. i see rhys being super passionate on vocals (not to mention how iconic the guitar is HELLOOOO), cass smashing the mf drums, az with the mellow backing vocals

11 Dance, Dance — Fall Out Boy i think if any of these songs are a bit out of the realm of the others, these two fall out boy tracks are it. dont get me wrong, it still fits into the vibe with those "fun" songs i was talking about, it's just one of their less serious songs i think

12 Thnks fr th Mmrs — Fall Out Boy three hot guys singing about casual sex. need i say more?

13 Fashionably Late — Falling in Reverse ANOTHER FUN SONG AHAHHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! listen they would eat this shit up. im noticing a pattern that i find songs that objectify women or talk about them in the most dude way ever to be extremely hot. specifically when i think about rhys, az, and cass performing them. sue me. the only lyric-specific notes i have for this one are these: r: without a doubt, sorry about making out with your friends c: MWAH >:D and also the r: without a doubt, sorry about fucking all your friends a: *hyper feminine voice* what? something just tells me rhys and cass would gang up on him and make him do that one live but over time there are like fan-made compilations of his "what?" and he ends up looking forward to it to hear the crowd go nutso

14 Dear Maria, Count Me In — All Time Low pop punk singer rhys!! i love!! another "fun" song

15 Are You Gonna Be My Girl — Jet yet another "fun" song! ugh idk i just find them singing about a girl to be very hot and sexy

16 Good Girls Bad Guys — Falling in Reverse surprise surprise another fun one >:D but make it sexy >:D

17 You're Gonna Go Far, Kid — The Offspring the guitar.. the aggressive lyrics.... the shouted ad libs (def cass on the 'trust, deceived' at the end of the second verse) and the lower harmony by az

18 Prayer of the Refugee — Rise Against i love love LOVE imagining them going full rock band on stage like head banging and throwing 100% of themselves into it, i just love the chorus of this song and imagining rhys going in on this is so like..... loving sigh

19 Scotty Doesn't Know — Lustra A "FUN" SONG!! ONE OF MY FAV "FUN" SONGS ON THIS LIST!! like i said,, these hot guys singing about a girl.. add in the fact that theyre singing about fucking her>>>>>

20 I Was Made For Lovin' You — YUNGBLUD OKAY. i have a good bit to say about this one bc i realize it's an interesting choice. i had the original by KISS on here at first, but the sound was a bit too classic rock compared to the rest of their stuff. this cover gives a bit more of a modern-alt-rock sound? i want to make known that i HATE the way "can't" in the first "i can't get enough of you baby" is sung, but it's only once. i also love the PICK UP IN TEMPO AAAAA its really good. let me walk you through the thought process. im seeing in concert we've got like.. a dark stage. a spotlight on rhys seated at a piano, singing into the mic. once he sings the first chorus, he stands, the lights come up, az tosses him his guitar, he catches it with one hand, throwing the strap over himself, the guitar spins around him and then rhys starts fuckin GOING AT IT. anyway..... yeah that's why i chose this cover instead of the original

21 You Give Love A Bad Name — Bon Jovi ik i said classic rock wasnt their sound but this one is just so good. i can see them giving this one a slightly more modern feel

22 Savior — Rise Against do me a favor. listen to this with headphones. start the song with just the right earbud in, then at the end of that intro verse, put the left one in so the guitar grows. those isolated vocals would be az. thank u.

23 Situations — Escape the Fate remember how 19 was one of my fav "fun" songs on the list? THIS is my fav one. its just so openly sexual, vey raunchy, they'd be very sexy singing this and the crowd would cream their pants

24 Sexy Drug — Falling in Reverse take one listen to this one and you'll see why i added it on here i think im getting predictable LMFAOOOO

25 The Drug In Me Is You — Falling In Reverse this one's just as simple as great vocals, bitchin guitar, amazing drums

26 Paralyzer — Finger Eleven again, BITCHIN guitar

27 I Hate Everything About You — Three Days Grace the AGGRESSION!!!!! RAAAA!!!!!!! thats it, it's aggressive and they'd be hot playing this song

28 Covet — Basement another slower song, but i love it so i put it. duh. every album has one or two slower songs, this is one of them.

29 Zombie — Bad Wolves i absolutely LOVE this one. it has more of that rock feel for these guys than the original by the cranberries. thats why i chose this cover. i can see them head banging to this one

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

yall were interested so just gonna tag you here!! hope you enjoy :D @anarchiii @chairofchaos @blushingfawnsposts @mellowmusings @acoazlove

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[thevalkyriesshadow]

Let's have fun!!

In the Gwynriel book, would you rather read:

1. Drunk Gwyn or Drunk Azriel?

2. Jealous Gwyn or Jealous Azriel?

3. Azriel kisses her first or Gwyn kisses him first?

4. Forehead kisses or peaceful sleep together?

5. The Valkyries teasing Gwyn about Az or the Bat Boys teasing Az about Gwyn?

OMG YES

Can I have both? Because I would love both. But if I had to choose -- Gwyn. I imagine she's a handsy, happy drunk and Azriel is beside himself when she's like this because of course she always goes to him when she's buzzed. She likes to hold his hands and drag him to the dance floor, their hands never leaving one another (because Gwyn is basically using him to stay up right at this point). Sometimes she'll tap his nose with her pointer finger when trying to make a drunken point when they're debating about whatever ridiculous thing Gwyn's drunken mind has come up with. Gwyn is the fun drunk and I would 100% get drunk with that girl

UMM we've seen plenty of jealous males in these books. Give me feral and jealous Gwyn, please and thank you! Like she'd have the most underhanded things to say, but she'll say them in the sweetest tone.

I think Gwyn kissing Azriel first would be adorable. Very "Oh my gosh I'm sorry, idk why i did that, i wasn't thinking --" then Azriel shuts her up with a follow up kiss. But Azriel kissing her first would be so slow and methodical. Making sure every second of this moment was perfect, for her. #SWOON

How about a forehead kiss that leads into a peaceful sleep together? Or one of them comes back from a mission or researching to find the other one already asleep and they give them a forehead kiss...which of course wakes them up and then theyre talking and laying in bed together until they fall asleep. TEHEHE

If both don't happen, I'll demand a rewrite. LOL jk jk I think either of them being teased by anyone *cough* Nesta *cough* would be the best. Because for Azriel, I think he's gunna be a bit, uh, slow on the uptake that Gwyn is interested and so when the Bat Boys tease him he's gunna be all "idk what you're talking about" and honestly, I could see it being that way with Gwyn too, though she's less slow on the uptake and more shy about taking the next steps and admitting that she wants to bone the shadowsinger hehe

Half of these I was just like "uh both, obvs" but I hope that suffices! Tehe thanks anon! Love my two idiots in love 😊

[jules-writes-stories]

You better not have Mithras maim Eris. I've seen you read AS... WE DON'T WANT THAT. Why make Eris ugly??? Please let him stay pretty or I will revolt!!!

You read it too?! I adore AS. I love when writers force us to question what we value in characters while they challenge the MC’s conceptions of themself. Eris is going to change so much I think, even while staying true to his character. Eris will grow and Az is coming with him! (I don’t know this, obvs, just my predictions for AS) 🩵.

That said, I have no plans to physically maim Eris in JEL. Mithras swore not to leave a mark on him, after all… 🐍

Thanks for the ask anon 🩵

[azsazz]

Thank u so much for writing about body guard az!

I can't stop thinking bout tht man

With short , coat , watches

(slow burn smut kinda lol)

She wants him , she knows he does too , he knows that too but az is professional obv , his work is his top priority.

It's like reder pull the strings , pull em til he loses it.

Ps: u gotta make this a series author 😭

I LOVE U !!! KEEP WRITING U AMAZING WOMAN! MWAHHHH ❤️🩵

Of course! Bodyguard Azzy is HOT.

I can confirm that I am currently writing a second part to bodyguard!az 🤭

[rosie-tyler]

TW cobra kai negativity towards JohnJoshHayden for this post which is sponsored by yesterday's video

(Off topic, which may be just me, but I'm still confused how this is what we get instead of more stuff about Part 2 directly)

( Even the thumbnail says everything lol)

So I'm not gonna discuss who I think is a better fighter out of Johnny/Daniel/Mr. Han.

When I was watching this video, I was wondering if "ThiS is NoT the MiYaGiDo WaY" was intentional and directly connected to the "Daniel gl/azing Mr. Miyagi" joke but I tried not to think about. Then I looked up the comments and obv that was it.

Which is also connected to this commentary.

There's a floating statement in the fandom that the writers obviously prefer Johnny. And it's not even a fans' opinion, they admit it. And like. I get that. Some fans do too. Daniel stans may prefer Daniel over Johnny. Many writers, if not all, have a favourite out of all the bunch of their characters. That's normal. Until it's not. Because then it affects the narrative of the show, and that's not normal.

This post could be really really long about all the little things that show this point, but there a lot of cool meta posts about this already so I'm just gonna return to my first point about "ThiS is NoT the MiYaGiDo WaY".

Yes, this is just a joke, but it shows a lot unfortunately. I was fine with it when it was a joke of some dudebro stans because they're just fans and I could easily (as much as possible) ignore it. But now even cobra kai official channel made it. This joke is not funny and directly shows how the ck writers didn't get the movies and thus think they're allowed to "tarnish" Mr. Miyagi and Daniel's legacy. The legacy of the main characters of the movies which are the roots of your show.

[infiniteetcetera]

My thoughts on the next ACOTAR books before we potentially learn more today (not sure if that rumor is true but hoping🤞)

1) I feel like next book is probably Elain/Azriel’s. I have nothing against Elain/Lucien and I’m actually quite fond of Gwyn/Az, but I don’t see gwyn ever getting a POV/book before characters like Elain and Mor. Could I see a world where the book is Elain/Azriel’s POV but they don’t wind up with each other? Absolutely! I even think that could be a fun twist, but overall I think most likely next book is an Elriel one, and even if they aren’t endgame it will AT LEAST have both their POVs (maybe Lucien’s too)

2) My dream for the next NEXT ACOTAR book/novella is a TOD style “separate from the main plot line” book for Lucien. I LOVE Lucien and have since book 1 and I think he’s a perfect character to explore the other courts with (autumn, day, spring) which a LOT of people have been wanting. Especially if Elain breaks their bond, I think Lucien getting a side quest book with his own personal journey like Chaol in TOD would be SO good. I’ve seen people bring up this notion for Azriel (that Elain/Lucien will be next book, then Az gets his own) but I don’t see a point in that (ie above) Azriel’s story is very wrapped up with Elain and the rest of the IC/main plot line, but there’s SO much depth to Lucien’s storylines, other characters to explore with him (band of exiles, eris, tamlin, helion, etc) and more than enough plot lines for his own book that vaguely touches the main koeshi plot (like tower of dawn) but has its own focuses as well.

3) The last book (or at least the last one she’s contracted for 👀) a multi-POV KOA style huge AF entertaining book. Ideally this would have all the ACOFAS POV’s as well as others (Elain & Az obv, Lucien, the Valkeryies??) I think this would be perfect, especially for fans who miss characters like Feyre being narrator. I can’t see the last book going any other way honestly, it’d feel wrong to end one person/couples story.

THOUGHTS???

[firephoenix2305]

Guess who just posted Eternity Chapter 11 on Ao3!!

Here is a little snippet, please do by all means imagine me giggling and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl whilst writing this, because it is in fact exactly how it happened.

It had been almost five minutes since Crowley had promised he’d be done in a minute; and the ticking of the clock had begun to get on the angel’s nerves. He was about to growl at the door again when the knob clicked and turned as it opened at last. Then, the demon walked out of it, and all of Aziraphale’s thoughts froze on the spot. [...]

- Oh. My. God – she said – You literally can’t take your eyes of each other. That’s adorable -

- We are not...! That was not...! - he aimlessly tried to justify himself, getting more flustered by the minute – Oh, just shut up – he finally settled on.

- This is going to be a long night for you, my friend – Eleyn nudged him softly on the shoulder – What with the thin dark duke sauntering around -

- Oh, for...! - Aziraphale’s eyes went wide open in shock at the nickname, cheeks now a deep crimson – Did you have to?! -

- Oh, absolutely – she smirked knowingly at him and walked out of the room, having way too much fun, leaving him to pray his skin would dial back down to its normal shade in the time it took to close the door behind him.

And, as promised, inspo pics! (For context if you haven't read it, the four of them have to go to a formal fundraising event to get their hands in a very important object which is going to be auctioned; so naturally I had to find elegant/formal getups for them, and these are the pictures I used as inspiration for their outfits!)

Under the cut, In order: Muriel, Eleyn (OC, can't tell you who she is because it's a SPOILER for chapter 3), Aziraphale and Crowley

I changed some things, like replacing the tie with a bowtie (Obv, might I add) and losing the flower for Az, or switching some accessories in the others.

BUT!!!!!

I DARE YOU to tell me that that three-piece suit does not SCREAM Crowley at the top of it's fabric-based lungs!

I mean, GOOD. LORD. My brain just kept seeing David Tennant in that and subsequently shortcircuiting in a closed loop until I said "Fuck it, I'm sticking Crowley in this suit"

I MEAN LOOK AT IT

Ahem. Sorry, just needed to get that out of my system. I feel better.

......Damn, the brainrot.

Anyway! What do you guys think about the outfits?

[bookofmirth]

Everyone's talking about the ship wars and if the cauldron is wrong blah blah but my only thought reading these crossover scenes is Nezriel setup? (or perhaps Nessriel setup 👀)

To be fair im reading a rough translation so scenes might read differently when we finally get it in english, but Azriel stroking her hair and Bryce having to turn away bc its too intimate. Like what is happening?

Obvs im being a bit silly lol and I understand why Cassian isn't there with them, but there is just such a close intimacy with Nesta and Az now and like when did it grow THAT much?

SErioUSLY oh. My. Gosh. That was??? And then the way that he stayed close to Nesta because he wanted to make sure that she was okay? I was shipping it kinda hard. I started to get a little flutter in my tummy.

I have the same question though, regarding their relationship. They were so in sync with one another in a way that felt kind-of abrupt based on acosf. They clearly understand one another and see/respect the darker parts of each other. In hofas they felt like they had been working together for years, though. Like when you watch a cop show and the cops have a partner they've worked with forever that they'd die for?

I know it will never happen in canon, but I am looking 👀 I bet sjm has thought about it, because I would bet $50 that the threesome she scrapped in acosf was nessian + Azriel. Nesta fantasized about it, too. I mean. If Nesta and Cassian weren't already mated I would have thought nesriel for sure haha

[theveryconfusedartistsart-blog]

(Hi! It's me again)

Do you have any thoughts on deltarune college mates friskriel?

(Okay, I am very sorry, there is a looot of questions rolled into one here, and you don't have to answer all of them or even any of them, it's just...that since I heard you also like the headcanon, I wondered if you had any specifics? or....well, wanted to think of some? so I kinda made a list of things to just...think about? if you hadn't already?) (I am also aware that college Friskriel may carry more novelty for me, who normally thinks of flowey and frisk in their pre-teen and early teen stages, than you who made two whole fanfics with them as older teens and young adults)

what they both study?

who are Frisk's parents/guardians here? are they currently happy with their family situation?

how (and when) did they meet? (since Az's coming back for Christmas (it's probs autumn right now cause orange leaves) for the first time since leaving, that means he's spent one term at college so far)

are they room-mates?

Any uni clubs or societes they both go to?

Do they attend college parties?

Or shitty part time jobs they both have to work at? (gotta be ready to pay off that student debt, ugh)

are they dating in the background at this point (chapter 2)?

will they be by the end of the game? (in like in the background, in your version, it's not gonna be canon obvs)

Are they still doing a secret relationship here?

How's Frisk's relationship with Kris and the other Dreemurrs? (and the Holidays? since they're close enough to be considered family, honestly)

Would Kris tease them both? (Kris seems like the type)

Can they go on a date to QC's?

And will they be back for the festival? (since that's apparently something you take a date to)

Would they go on the real light world ferris wheel? (like Kris and Noelle went on as kids)

Any chance for post-canon darkworld adventures? (though they might be all be closed by the end) (tag team fights and acts, drinking each other's tea, reactions to each other's cool dark world outfits, Frisk seeing Az's fire magic for the first time, defending each other, item shenanigans (for example, like Susie remarking Noelle's ring smells like her or Ralsei's blushy reactions should you give him the ribbons (poor Kris...), stuff like that!))

Any parallels to other ships such as Suselle?

Or actual popular Azzy ships like Dessriel? What do you think of Dessriel? Any chance for angst or drama there?

Anything related to the original timeline (like Azzy's final boss form he made or...strange dreams from another world?)

What is the status on monsters outside hometown? are they common? Or is Azzy the first monster Frisk has seen?

Again, I am sorry for so very many questions I asked. Do not feel compelled to answer!

It's absolutely fine, no need to apologize, I'm honestly kind of impressed? If AU surveys exist, I would classify this as one!

I have one issue that I'm very guilty of, I have only played chapter 1 of Deltarune, once, and right after it was released, I was in the middle of writing the Growing Pains series when both chapters came out and I was concerned it would throw off my focus, and many other silly reasons, so, I never got into Deltarune- BUT, I am interested in some of the characters.

(I also don't ship Asriel/Flowey with anyone else but Frisk (I've gotten too comfortable with my own AU's and my brain just won't let me think of him being with anyone else at this point, I think it's broken, lol) so I have no idea what Dessriel is.)

Because I still like the idea of the AU, and because Growing Pains 2 had a short college arc, I already have something I can work with, I'm happy to say I can answer a good chunk of your questions.

I'll start simple!

Asriel is studying to become a doctor, but really wants to be an astronomer, he goes to a co-ed college, his roommate ends up being a three eyed, purple slime monster named Grreth (but prefers to go by J.J.) (if you've read Growing Pains 2, you already know who he is, I just couldn't help but add him in because him and Flowey becomes such good friends :p)

Frisk is also studying to become a doctor, they really love to help people, but quickly discover that it's a bit difficult for them and they're considering leaving to switch to something more art-based, maybe they'll become an art teacher instead? But after meeting Asriel and discovering that he's actually their dorm neighbor, and are guilt-tripped by their aunt, they decide to stick to it.

They have a roommate who's a human, who's name is Alice, Frisk has a crush on her at first- until Alice reveals that she's already dating someone and then is rarely seen much after that due to becoming busy with classes and other things, leaving Frisk to have the dorm room all to themselves, it's pretty lonely until they become good friends with both Asriel and J.J.

My Frisk's story is that they're nonbinary (AFAB), Filipino, and lost their parents in a car accident at the age of nine, so they were raised by their aunt (Ligaya) and cousin (Andres) (who is like an older brother to them).

Fortunately, their family is okay with monsters, but kind of clueless about them due to the fact that they live in an all-human neighborhood, so when Frisk goes to college and meets Asriel and all these other monsters, they're very starstruck and amazed, and by the looks of it, Kris seems to be the only human Asriel knows, so he's also starstruck and amazed by Frisk as well, they hit things off very fast.

Frisk's family isn't as well off as Asriel's is, so they work two jobs to help pay off their college debt; one at an adorable bakery (which Asriel comes by often as an excuse to see them, usually bringing J.J. along at first and then later, alone) Frisk's second job is at the college's library, which, Asriel also loves to visit them at, they steal loving glances at each other while he's trying to study.

After they start dating, Asriel starts stressing out because he runs out of allowance money because he keeps wanting to buy Frisk's gifts and take them to nice places on their dates, so he takes up a job as a florist, and because both of his parents are gardeners and he has an eye for making things look good-he's ends up being very good at his job.

Because Frisk's family is cool with monsters in my AU, I can't see any reason why they would keep the relationship secret... although, they'd probably be apprehensive about voicing the relationship or showing any PDA in the beginning because there are groups on both sides that very highly disapprove/hate monster/human relationships, and Asriel and Frisk don't want either to get hurt.

-Fun stuff!-

Asriel admits his feelings first by writing a love letter and sticking it under Frisk's dorm room door, they get it immediately and write him one back and stick it under his door, he then urgently runs out of his dorm to theirs and they practically tackle each other with an embrace, a week after that they have their first kiss.

After getting deeper into their romantic relationship, Frisk thinks Asriel is gorgeous and likes to jokingly flirt about practicing their art by drawing/painting him in the nude (insert Titanic joke here), he always blushes and laughs and the moment goes on, but one day he goes "but who will be the nude one, me or you?"

They go to a few parties, both as a couple and as a trio with J.J., most of them go well, but there are few instances where Asriel nearly gets in a fight with a guy who is coming on too strong toward Frisk, and nearly gets another fight when J.J. gets bullied- and if things go wrong, the three of them leave to go have their own fun.

One day J.J. comes back to the dorm room with pot brownies and shares them with Asriel and Frisk, it ensues a very funny adventure between the three of them, and after that, they use pot brownies to celebrate big accomplishments instead of alcohol after Asriel suffers from the worst hangover ever that ended with him hospitalized.

Things get a little awkward when J.J. admits that he has a bit of a crush on both Asriel and Frisk, but they both let him down gently and they manage to continue being best friends, however, by the end of that month, J.J. meets a dorky cute trans girl and they slowly fall in love.

Asriel and Frisk are both very supportive of each other and help each other with school work, they're even supportive of each other's wishes and desires to do other things, even if it means they'd end up going to different colleges in the future... but they also like the idea of opening up a small health clinic together as a married couple, treating and healing both humans and monsters alike.

-Bringing Frisk to his home-

Asriel brings Frisk home, first introducing them as his best friend but realizes how serious he feels for them and quickly reintroduces them as his romantic partner.

Kris is jealous in the beginning, because here they were waiting all this time to spend time with their older brother, but nooo, he has no time for them due to practically being attached to Frisk at the hip- but being the good brother he is, he catches this before it's too late and makes time for them and Frisk ends up bonding with Toriel and Asgore, they remind them of their parents.

When Frisk finds out that Kris was jealous, and as a person with an older brother figure, they understand and make a point to hang out with them, telling them if they had met earlier before they started dating Asriel, they would have asked for Kris's blessing first- it's a funny thing to say, but Frisk is so serious and sincere about it that Kris can't help but start to like them.

Once they warm up to Frisk and the idea of the relationship, Kris definitely begins teasing them about everything, it embarrasses Asriel but Frisk finds a lot of funny and takes most of the teasing in stride.

Asriel then introduces Frisk to his neighborhood friends and takes them on a few dates around town in the process, it doesn't take long for Frisk to fit into the family and town.

Frisk becomes like an older sibling to Kris, and even if Kris wants to be a monster, they find comfort in bonding with them over human-related things.

-Bringing Asriel to Frisk's home-

Frisk's aunt Ligaya is very charmed by Asriel and treats him like a son, however Andres, who is protective over Frisk, grills Asriel with a hundred questions, by the end of it, Andres is annoyed that he's charmed by Asriel too.

Asriel gets introduced to Filipino food! He ends up really liking it, and on a much later visit, he helps Ligaya cook and sneakily learns how to cook Frisk's favorite foods.

Ligaya doesn't let them sleep in the same bed at her house until they're much later married (she doesn't care if they've tangoed or not, it's not happening!) So, he sleeps in Andre's room (he has a bunk bed), where he is further grilled by Andres, Asriel comically does not sleep well.

Anyways, here's a quick funny doodle I did, a gift for reading my ramblings and wanting to know my thoughts.

POV, you're an administrator and you're doing dorm room checks and notice that this room smells suspiciously like....... brownies.

However, the three college students- who are definitely hiding something, are also very welcoming and nice that you decide to dismiss any of those suspicions.

[stargirlfeyre]

“Azriel may be boring as shit but at least he never went after someone who was actively treating Feyre like shit. At least the Archeron he’s going after is actually working to fix her relationship with Feyre. Cassian went for someone who was still treating his friend like dog shit and I just can’t respect that.” ALL OF THIS

i’m always hesitant to say this bc some ppl are super sensitive when it comes to cassian for some funny reason (all the other boys are able to be criticized but not him bc he can be funny?) but part of why i don’t like him as much as azriel is because of how he went for nesta too early on, it was super premature for him to come onto her so blatantly in front of everyone even when she was mortal and he’d literally just met her, knowing how feyre was treated etc…i adore cassian when i don’t look at his character too closely. as much as i prefer feyssian over feyzriel because of her and cassian having more sweet bestie moments than her and az do, whenever there’s a discussion i’ll always choose az first because of cassian and nesta. like anon said i can’t help but put myself in feyre’s shoes when i’m reading but i don’t like that he came onto nesta the way he did and how soon he did, and he had no shame about it in front of feyre and the rest.

i know some people are super chill or they have sisters or family members that cross these lines all the time, like your friend flirting with your sister, but in my family or friend groups we don’t do that especially if a sister is really mean to me, why would i approve of my friend going for her so blatantly in front of me? it’s not so much a harsh or possessive petty thing but just basic morale? cassian imo doesn’t get enough flack for how he came onto nesta so soon. it’s true too that at least az didn’t show any signs of having a crush until acowar and acofas, i prefer someone humbly and respectfully handling a crush on my sister than how in your face cassian was about it with nesta in only book two. idk sometimes it feels like his dick thinks for him and even acosf proved that.

i prefer acowar cassian! but i also skip the pages whenever he’s acting out over nesta or they’re both being angst ridden for one another, i just can’t take it seriously bc he was obv thinking with his dick or mating bond and she was still treating everyone like they were less than her despite her being a pos who has never done anything.

idk 😮‍💨 like i said it’s so easy to love cass as a character when you don’t look at his dynamic with nesta from feyre’s shoes in book two. i imagine mainly feyre stan’s struggle with him due to his attachment to nesta so early on. that bonus chapter anon mentioned where cassian put his body up against nesta’s asking whether she was a virgin or not? he’d only recently met her and was doing that, it being too soon aside, it was very inappropriate to do. even mor made it clear that he acts that way with women when they don’t want him and see’s it as “a challenge” just 10 reasons why az and rhysand will always come off as the most mature to me.

the other reasons i don’t favor him have to do with sjm having him refer to nesta as a queen in acosf, him always showing doubt with the ic’s decisions in acosf as if he’s not apart of the ic (why did he seem so against them in acosf at times? most of the time they were right too so it was just weird for sjm to do) saying nesta didn’t need to apologize to anyone supposedly (really sjm? ���) having sex with nesta on a hike where she was supposed to own up to her wrongs and mature after she just told feyre she could die (inappropriate timing much..?) acting funny when rhysand felt the need to tell her to be nice to gwyn and emerie when he knows damn well rhysand isn’t at the house of wind like them to know nesta’s behavior had gotten better. how the hell would rhysand know that nesta’s not being mean to him when rhysand’s only ever seen her be rude af to everyone..? and then made it even worse when he petulantly wrapped his arm around nesta to make rhysand feel uncomfortable.

•

[velarisdusk]

love LOVE drunk on you!!! love the easy dynamic you wrote with reader/az and how companionable everyone is. just feels so natural and fluid and just SUCH a delight to read. love the entire fic and this tempest, ours too- you put so much work into building the established relationship (reader/az, reader/rhys) pre-smut in a way that isn't overly-expository and various in style.. its lovely idk what to say. your fics are treats!!!!!!! and love the difference of az in drunk on you vs vwmt. honestly i just need drunk on you injected straight into my veins

thank u :"(

this was such a nice sweet message to read omg im very happy to hear you liked these fics so much. i've been writing so much smut that i feel like the only way to not get sick of it is to build the relationship before, OR (what i've found i enjoy more) showcasing a relationship that is already built. it's so fun to write characters in a close and almost familial way, and thats what i really enjoyed about Drunk on You. i got to write such a nice easy dynamic between them all that i haven't really explored much in my fics :)

more yapping under the cut i talk a lot my bad yall

This Tempest, Ours, was kinda the same thing? there wasn't the same group dynamic obv but it was really fun to decide what kind of friendship rhys and the reader would have, and to find out how to showcase it without being like "you guys have been friends for a long time :) you are very close :) you sometimes treat each other a little more closely than regular friends do :)"

like i said, i write smut so often that i need to find ways to make the build up to it more interesting (i.e. different each time, or as different as i can make them lol)

and yeah omg Drunk on You az and VWMT az seem like entirely different people dont they? i havent touched that series in a bit but i def wanted that az to be very emotionally constipated. like sure, there was a pre-existing friendship there, but i imagined it to be very like,,,, awk and a little tense bc yall arent really thaaat close, but you hang in the same friend group, if that makes sense? Drunk on You was more of a,, yeah you guys are BESTIES. like yeah him and rhys and cass are close, but no one knows the present day him as well as the reader does, and same the other way. reader's got other friends (feyre, mor, maybe others idk what you do in your free time), but AZ knows her best.

again, such a wonderful and sweet message to receive :") thank you for writing in, and thank you so so much for reading :") <333

[illyrianbitch]

interesting idea for a part two could be that she remembers but obv holds a grudge and is just in disbelief that they did this to her and doesn't go back to the ic, maybe even moves to another court (smoochy smoochy with helion but that's just my dream fantasy lmao)

she could have a happy ending of her own, without azriel (i personally would lose trust in a person completely like there's no going back from that)

see thats where im at, too! if i were to write a pt 2 itd probably be az doing his thing of showing up again and unraveling whatever rhys did to her mind to a point where she remembers cuz i think once she'd remember she would be PISSED. the ic has proved itself notorious for making decisions against ppls wishes/without consulting them "for their own good" but memory wiping?? nahhh man

so like the happy ending would be more like youre seeing which is just her, but i think some would want her and az which i fear would be so very difficult to get that trust back (aka more than 1 part to make it a realistic growth hehe)

also the helion fantasy is so valid. he’s so funny too like i can literally imagine just telling him being told the situation and he’s like they took your memories away? of them? Azriel, the depraved-of-love shadowsinger? that guy?

[acourtofthought]

listen I love Feyre to my very core, she's my favorite FMC since I read these books and in this entire series but god she's such busybody sometimes and tries to be an expert matchmaker like Rhys but honey... no!

like that time she suggested about Az and Elain in acowar and Rhys was like "Feyre, I love you but shut up this is not in your league" thats what I gathered from Rhys reply lmao

GIRL YOU LITERALLY KNOW THESE PPL FOR A FEW MONTHS HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY NEED AND WHAT IS GOING ON INSIDE THEIR HEAD? I'm quite certain she just wanted it to keep it in the family at that point bc did she forgot Azriel is "in love" with Mor before she suggested that? and Rhys had to aggressively shut that idea down lol. tbh I love that Rhys stopped her right then and there bc obv he knows him better than Feyre. they've known each other for +500 so ofc he can guess Az feeling on the matter and Az himself confirmed it in the bonus chapter (that Rhys also suspected) Az only wants Elain for release and nothing else.

and now her comment on them lead to her being the biggest e/riel shipper and e/riels LOVE to brag about it and its quite funny bc I think it was only that one time!!! we see Feyre encouraging Elain to talk to Lucien and even in her bonus chapter in acosf she wanted to suggest Elain to use Lucien's gloves that he gifted her but she didn't (which i hope she'd learned to not be a busybody after what happened with Lucien in acofas and Mor lecturing her to let them figure it out themselves)

After getting this message I didn't respond right away. I wanted to think back over the series because you are 100% correct but your correctness is even more far reaching.

In ACOMAF we have the following:

Feyre thinking that the reason Lucien had issues with Ianthe because she and her family fled during Amarantha's reign.

The actual reason Lucien had issues with Ianthe is because she sexually harassed him.

In ACOMAF, we have Feyre think Ianthe is her friend.

Later we find out that Ianthe was only ever self serving.

In ACOMAF Feyre kept wondering if a mating bond with Tamlin would snap into place.

The reason that didn't happen was because Rhys was her mate yet she was clueless about that until the Suriel told her.

In ACOMAF we have Feyre think about how Nesta and Amren would be fast friends.

In ACOWAR, Nesta and Amren were fast friends but not LASTING friends. Their friendship fell apart in ACOFAS and it never really recovered. I think they're in a better place after SF but they'll most likely never be as close as Nesta is with Gwyn and Emerie.

In ACOMAF, Feyre mentions how she sometimes notices Mor watching Az. She also asks Mor what she feels for Az which Mor deflects only for Feyre to then think, "but almost in answer, Mor declared, "Paint Azriel's. Next to mine".

Only that all fell apart in ACOWAR when Mor's preference came to light, something Feyre never suspected.

In ACOMAF, Feyre thinks how Az and Cassian could wipe Lucien off the planet.

But in ACOSF, we see Lucien command Cassian with a single word.

In ACOMAF, Feyre does say Elain would cling to Az to have some peace and quiet and how handsome they would be.

And in ACOWAR, we do see Elain and Az sharing moments of peace and quiet however, that seems to rapidly be falling apart in SF. Feyre once wanted peace and quiet too and at first she was happy with Tamlin until the peace and quiet no longer suited her. Similarly, we see Elain want to finally break free of her peace and quiet and Az is the person (after Nesta) who wants to keep her in her box of safety. He even spoke out against her AFTER Elain told Nesta off so it's doubly as problematic. Also, Feyre thinking of Elain and Az being together because of their physical appearance is the most superficial thing. It speaks nothing of their personalities or what they want from a partner, what their values are. Not to mention it reduces Elain to a "doll to dress up" or whose only worth is her beauty, just as their mother always did.

In ACOWAR, Feyre worries whether they can trust Lucien. Whether he would try to grab Elain, to sell them out.

Her fears are proven unfounded when she slips into Lucien's mind and realized he only has concern for Elain. Also Lucien regularly helps out the NC, sharing information with them, the opposite of selling them out.

In ACOWAR, Feyre questions why Lucien and Elain are mates without putting any consideration into who they are and what they want in a partner. She asks RHYS if HER SISTER is a match to Lucien 🤦. Her entire argument is based on the fact that Rhys and Tamlin's parents weren't a match for one another so maybe Elain and Lucien's is poor match too. Even though the reason Rhys tells us for WHY his parents weren't a match would not apply to Lucien and Elain and WOULD actually apply to Az and Elain.

Feyre is young and she doesn't always the see others clearly but that's ok because she's learning as she goes. She's asking these questions because this entire world is new to her and the why and the how's of it are something she's trying to figure out.

But anyone taking her thoughts as gospel as she's stumbling through it all is looking to the wrong person for predictions.

Feyre (in the original trilogy), Nesta (for the first 3/4 of her book) and Az (even now), for as great as they are, were /are not the characters to look too for clearheaded opinions because they are too close to certain situations, too emotional and too wrapped up in their own confusion about everything to be valid resources. Feyre and Nesta especially were all over the place. For example one minute Nesta was going on and on about how Elain is good and special and that's why Nesta protected her at all costs, and the next Nesta is furious with Elain, claiming she was "undoubtedly wholly convinced of her own innocence, her innate goodness" and mad at Cassian for defending Elain.

So again, I think much of what those three say / think in regards to Elain, Lucien, and Az needs to be taken with a grain of salt

Cassian was the one who predicted Nessmerie and guess what? They ended up being as close as sisters.

Rhys was the one who said that he might need to pull some threads in regards to Nessian and guess what? They were mated in the very next book.

Mor predicted that Lucien was trustworthy enough to enter Velaris and guess what? He didn't steal Elain away and he never sold out Velaris to anyone and helped provide information to the NC about Autumn.

We have Cassian telling us that Nesta was wrong about Elain being loyal like a dog, Rhys admit that maybe Elain behaves in certain ways because of the way the sisters treat her, we have Rhys and Mor tell Feyre to stay out of things with her meddling. We have Amren tell Az he's wrong about Elain. We have Rhys express genuine concern over the way Az spoke of Elain. These are characters who are a few steps away from it all and able to think more rationally because they aren't as personally invested in what happens. Feyre feels guilty for her sisters being made so she was desperate to throw Elain in any direction she thought might snap her out of her depression (except giving her a real chance to interact with her mate). Nesta and Az have / had too much of their own self loathing to see anything clearly. But in my opinion, Cassian, Mor, Rhys and Amren are the voices of reason when it comes to what's going on with Elucien and E/riel.

[azsazz]

You’ve probably done this before but kiss marry kill and why with the bat boys 🦇

WELL

marry az obvs - he's the loml. like we could just vibe and read and hang out and stuff. i'm not a huge fan of pda and i dont think he is either so it would be perfect.

fuck cass - twin flames so ik the sex would be amazing. it would be the most fun sex ever prob unless he really turned it on. it would be like, you don't have to worry about a thing because it would either be funny and a good time or he'd lay down the law and own you, you wouldn't have to think for yourself

kill rhys lol - he's prob a lil too clean for me. i need someone rugged and shit ya kno?

[aurorawest]

Another reading update

Epitaph by Mary Doria Russell - 4.25/5 stars

Surprise queer love story at the end! Also made me regret that we didn't stop in Tombstone, AZ, when we drove by it on our vacation to Arizona last year.

The Jasad Heir by Sara Hashem - DNF at pg 18

Prince and Assassin by Tavia Lark - 5/5 stars

This book was A DELIGHT. I didn't expect to love it so much because I've been burned by so many Rainbow Crate selections, but goddamn this one was good. I ordered the next five books in the series from the parking ramp where we watched the eclipse, lol.

Briarley by Aster Glenn Gray - 4.75/5 stars

The gay, WWII retelling of Beauty and the Beast you didn't know you needed. Really lovely novella.

New Adult by Timothy Janovsky - 4.5/5 stars

Time travel! Crystals! I'm a sucker for books where the main character realizes that their career isn't everything (clearly, since my debut novel is about that). I love Timothy Janovsky. He's so good at writing characters who are deeply unlikable but who you root for from page 1 to get their shit together.

Stars, Hide Your Fires by Jessica Mary Best - 3/5 stars

A Glorious Mess by Kennedy Sutton - 4/5 stars

This is a prequel to a series I haven't read, but I really enjoyed it!

The Midnight Kingdom by Tara Sim - 4.25/5 stars

This is another high fantasy where I was like, okay, what happened again in the first one...? It slowly came back to me, haha. I love Tara Sim and this book was just as good as the first in the series. Definitely excited for the conclusion.

The Body in the Back Garden by Mark Waddell - 4/5 stars

Cozy mysteries aren't really my thing, but I really liked this one. There was enough violence to keep it from twee overload.

The Bookseller's Boyfriend by Heidi Cullinan - 4/5 stars

The Path by Ariel Tachna - 4.25/5 stars

Aka, now I want to hike the Inca Trail. This was a great book about two guides on the Inca Trail in Peru (and if you know me you might know I have interest in guiding). Not only was the book just good, but I loved the exposure to a country that I don't know much about.

The Bachelor's Valet by Arden Powell - 5/5 stars

Hello????? This book is so good???? If you loved Freya Marske's The Last Binding trilogy, give this series a shot. It's very lighthearted, and I loved dumb, kindhearted Alphonse with all my heart from the first sentence. Also the cover is super pretty, I had to keep taking breaks to stare at it.

Assassin by Accident by EJ Russell - 4/5 stars

Tramps and Vagabonds by Aster Glenn Gray - 5/5 stars

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Okay so I knew I'd love this book, because I went feral for Honeytrap, which I read last year. God this one was so good too. It's about two young men who ride the rails in the Midwest during the Depression. James is homeless and Timothy has parents he could go back to...except he's in love with James, obvs. If you're a fan of Cat Sebastian's mid-century books (We Could Be So Good, The Cabots), PLEASE read this. Gray deserves to be much more widely read.

The Kingdoms by Natasha Pulley (reread) - 5/5 stars

Here's my copy after rereading:

Those are all the spots that were particularly emotionally devastating. This reread secures The Kingdoms as my favorite Natasha Pulley book. Maybe my favorite book, full stop. Missouri and Joe, god be still my heart.