#and aubrie says to post it so

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Kinktober day 21, Biting - Toby, GN

You might be wondering, Aubrie, didn't you say you'd only post these written out on AO3 so they'd all be together? And, yes, I did say that, but I am making today an exception because I feel this fic is very viscerally my canon yandere Toby and I want it on the blog.

You can still click right here to find it on AO3 and leave any comments or kudos as that would be much appreciated <3

But I also just. I wanted this to be in my yandere tag, as I finally wrote yandere Toby and biting with actual smut.

CWs for this one; dub-con into possible consent, biting, blood, depictions of gore, cannibalism as a very direct metaphor for love, I guess cannibalism as love???, Toby being insane, Reader losing themselves to his insanity, Stockholm syndrome. It really just is Toby basically biting and kind of eating the reader while reader can't decide if they consent or not. (There's also some secret lyrics from a song hidden in there I was listening to while writing <3)

I had a very visceral reaction in one of the ending scenes of this and had to tone it down because it made me so uncomfortable, but I do really REALLY love this as one of my yandere Toby fics. Please enjoy <3

"It wo-wouldn't be so bad if y-you stopped resisting." His tone did little to calm your anxious squirming, his hips holding your own down, hands restraining yours above your head. The blood that coated his lips wasn't his own, and the soreness in your shoulder pressed the tears blooming in your eyes to trail free. You knew from past experience that regardless of how hard you struggled or resisted, even if you'd fully submit to him, the pain would still sting with the same intensity, and he'd provoke you however he could to get a reaction out of you. You opened your mouth to respond, and his eyes narrowed in warning for you not to speak.

"Just let me h-have some f-fun." A twisted smile blooming on his cheeks had you trembling once more as he pulled a switchblade out of his back pocket, flipped it open, and pressed it jarringly softly into your abdomen, slicing cleanly through your clothing but leaving your skin free of blood. No, Toby wouldn't cut you with it, he'd much rather draw the blood out of your skin himself. He licked his lips, your blood smearing across them, as he watched your clothes peel off your skin, and he switched both of your wrists into one of his larger hands so he could remove your clothes, leaving you bare beneath him as his eyes devoured you.

It was one of the few times he still looked soft and loving, when his hooded eyes roamed your figure, his hand softly tracing and caressing with a gentleness you were rarely given. It was moments like this where you could almost believe he still loved you, that he was still your sweet, caring Toby that you'd fallen in love with, but the blood shining on his teeth as he smiled at you was quick to squash that thought. Hand trailing back up your body to rest at your throat, squeezing firmly as he looked over your face, your eyes widening in fear, tears staining your cheeks, the giggle leaving his throat far too happy.

"S-so cute!" He cooed at you, leaning down to press kisses to your cheeks, his tongue slipping out to lick up the remaining drops of tears on your skin, leaving a watery red trail as it went. His licks turned to kisses once more as he pressed them fervently to your lips, giving you a taste of the iron of your blood, before pausing with an irritated sigh as he backed up from you. "Don't m-move them." He glared at you as he painfully squeezed your wrists, and you nodded quickly, wanting the pain to cease. He finally released you, but you obeyed, out of fear more than anything else, and with his extra hand he was quick to begin working his pants off, his mouth once more on yours, impatient moans leaving him as his body twitched above you. You had little time to react as his hands touched you once more, hoisting your legs up and revealing the vulnerable area between your thighs, his grip intentionally squeezing into the areas he'd bruised violently earlier that evening. He separated from your lips once more to appraise the area, a smile far too wide appearing on his face as he began to pump his cock, lining himself up at your entrance without any preparation.

"Toby, wait, please, you haven't-" Your words were halted by a cry tearing from your throat as he pushed inside of you anyway, a deep groan leaving his throat as the warmth of your body enveloped him. He narrowed his eyes at you once more, his hand grabbing yours, bringing it to his lips as he pressed delicate kisses to your wrists. Your heart was thudding in your chest, a whine already leaving your throat as you could feel what was coming. "W-what makes y-you think you d-deserve preparation?" It was chilling, how cold and cruel his voice could be, but before you could respond tears were leaking from your eyes once more as he teasingly nipped at your wrist, before plunging his teeth into the soft skin of it.

Your head tipped back with a scream and it caused him to moan in response, his cock throbbing inside of you as he began to move in and out of you in slow thrusts, his teeth pressing firmer and firmer into your wrist until he could taste your blood on his tongue once more. It was the same process, every single time he wanted to fuck you, every time he wanted to pleasure himself without a care in the world for if you wanted this or not. His tongue lapped eagerly at your bleeding wrist as he fucked into you, moans slipping out of him as easily as tears and cries were slipping out of you. You wanted to hurt him, to make him experience the same pain he'd make you experience every day, but the fear of what would happen if you tried, keeping your right arm held above your head as he continued to hold your left, the throbbing in your broken ankles a reminder not to cross him.

You tried your best to focus on the pleasure, to focus on his cock moving in and out of you instead of on his teeth trailing further up your arm, a trail of red smearing across your skin in a way he always described as divinely bewitching. Your cries alternating between moans from the sensation of his cock dragging along your walls to sobs from a particularly painful bite had Toby losing himself above you, his hips stuttering as he'd lose focus of his thrusting and slip above you. By the time he'd made it back to your throat your arm was beginning to go numb from the pain lacing through it, his mouth once again smeared with blood as he hovered above you, panting heavily as he rutted into you as if his life depended on it. His eyes roamed over your body, looking for purchase, looking for the next place he wanted to destroy with his teeth, and as they always did, his eyes landed on his favorite area of your body. He descended to press passionate kisses to your jaw, trailing them down your neck and licking and sucking, lavishing you with attention as your moans increased in volume. Despite his rough treatment, you could feel yourself drawing closer and closer to your end as he hammered into the spot that would always make your vision go white. You finally broke the rule of not moving your hands to wrap them around his back, gripping onto him for stability in a way that made him think you were enjoying this far more than you were.

"T-that's i-it! Keep enjoying y-yourself!" The excitement in his voice had chills running down your spine, but you couldn't argue back, preferring to surrender yourself to the pleasure fogging up your mind and making you forget who you were and where you were, making you forget who the monster doing this to you was. Your mind buzzed, your vision blurring from the mix of euphoria and blood loss, spacing out and dissociating as you surrendered your body to the man who lived solely to defile it. It was so beautiful, your spacey expression, the blood mixing across your skin, his head was reeling, doing his best to show you just how much he loved you. Causing all of this blood to spill out of you, licking it up and drowning in it, it made him feel so high, so positively intoxicated, presenting his love to you in the deep red color coating your skin. He was so giddy, so filled with absolute joy at the thought that maybe you were finally starting to love him again, that you'd no longer found him so unusual, that you were accepting that this was your life now, embracing it and treasuring it just as he did. Oh, it made him so happy! He felt as if he could explode from euphoria as his pace increased, animalistic grunts and groans roaring out of him as he did his best to try and make you feel as good as he did.

He couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy, maybe not since the first time he'd done this to you. That fateful day all those years ago when he'd lured you here on the false promise of it being an adventurous date, only to lock you up in here forever, right where you belonged. To pin you down and bloody your body, to force himself on you in a way he'd been longing to for far too long, it had been the most exciting day of his life, defiling your body and showing you how much he loved you, the way he loved you. You were the only person whose blood he'd tasted, and it goes to show how much he loved you, that tasing your blood was in fact how he loved you. Drawing blood, your life force, out of you and indulging in it as if it were the finest meal in the entire world, what better way was there to express his unending devotion to you? He recentered himself from memory lane by licking your blood off of his teeth, his eyes rolling back into his head as he trembled above you. There was no better feeling than doing this, and knowing you were finally enjoying it as much as he did was driving him unquestionably insane.

You didn't know how much time had passed since you zoned out, floating above your body in the space between pleasure and unconsciousness, but you'd soon find yourself pulled back down to earth. As your orgasm slammed into you, you'd felt yourself screaming at the top of your lungs, not from pleasure, but from Toby sinking his teeth all the way into the side of your neck, squishing your flesh and causing blood to soak the bed beneath you as his impulses took over him, giddy laughter and moans vibrating from deep inside of him as he gorged himself on your blood and skin. You clawed and screamed and begged, but he wouldn't let go of you, not when he met his own climax right alongside you, not when he coughed and choked on the blood filling up his mouth, not when he slipped his tongue inside of your neck, slid it through the gaping holes his top and bottom teeth had left inside of you and had you crying out from pain and discomfort. It was revolting, it was disgusting, it was violating, it was quite possibly the worst thing he's ever made you feel, and yet it had been the very thing to trigger your orgasm and have you falling apart underneath him. Your cries shifted from pain to revulsion at your body for enjoying such a thing, and an incredibly dark thought focused in your mind, the realization that over the last few years, he'd been conditioning you, conditioning your body to accept this, to associate it with pleasure. His cock throbbed inside of you, throbbed like your arm, throbbed like your neck, and it felt good. You felt euphoric in a way you'd never felt before, and as he curled up beside you, as he pressed his lips to yours, as your blood coated the inside of your mouth as his tongue caressed yours, a horribly intrusive and repulsive thought you'd been promising yourself you'd never have filled your mind as you lost yourself to the darkness of blood loss. Were you falling in love with him again, in love with this monster, this horribly sick man? And, even worse…

Were you finally starting to enjoy it?

[thathorriblebitch]

AN ANIMATIC!!!!

GORE WARNING FOR A FEW FRAMES!

ALSO SPOILERSSS

(tumblr may have killed quality srry)

Notes under cut

AHH THIS TOOK SOOOOOO LONGGGG

I haven't posted any comments or notes or fanart in a while so here's the whole shebang, enjoy my mad rantings @uhohbestie

So starting from chapter 21 when grian died, oh my goddd

I was convinced that Scar would die first and grian would give in to his suicidal thoughs from when he was on the sand cliff

Then after scar and grian make it out of a horde infested store alive. The worst happens

"He'd grown complacent, and now scar was suffering for the consequences of it."

A quote that sadly summarizes a large percentage of the fic

Thennn

"He knows the blood seeping from his shoulder hasn't come from a gunshot."

"I love you, scar"

"'I love you,' he adds, and it feels so easy to say now that he wonders why he ever struggled with it before."

Owwwwww

It's oddly poetic how in his effort to help and aid scar he had to leave him behind. I took his own death for him to admit to him faults, for him to help scar, for him to say he loves scar, and it feels like I'm supposed to forgive grian, BUT HE STILL HASNT APOLOGIZED! he barely acknowledged his cheating.

It's very purposeful that I drew him dying in the desert instead of the woods.

I do wonder if the trio could every stumble upon him while they explore ghost towns

Next chapter

22 FUCKING SCHLAT?! I understand that this schlat is not even all that close to the one I know and love from dsmp! Era, but still. Schlat?!?! I have never watched his day z streams nor another zombie content from any dsmp people (mainly ref Tommy's and Charlie's vids) so I have no clue who Aubry, Mosin man, Paul, or any other people from that reference so to me they end up coming off as oocs but they have clear intentions and I love how they give scar his turn to use his salesman voice. Anywayyy

Next chapters up to 26

I enjoy the vibes of schlat joking with scar's pc ass

They fit in the weirdest way and I still get thrown off seeing schlat on my tumblr feed from the chapter banners

The sudden kidnapping was fun and I can't wait for scar to randomly start using his legs and firearm skills to kill 3 guys then feel guilty asf just cause "Oh God I killed unzombie people oh noooo"

Anyway in general, I love how this fic is turning out and feel my heart shatter for scar every update and fear for my life when I see lock n key post anything regarding the plot

And my favorite part of this fic?

TEMPORARY CHARACTER DEATH

TEMPORARY!!!!

much love, thb

[thewallshaveeyes]

Hey. Hey. Follower OC posting. Ok ?

I love these dumbasses so much lmao. Close-ups and explanations after the cut

Followers (in order)

Thea. I know I've talked about her before, but I really do mean it when I say that she's Lazelle's BEST friend. I like to imagine they use the confession booth just to gossip about stupid shit.

Thoryn and Mac! I know I've posted about Thoryn before, but Mac is my obligatory yellow cat oc. Since they're around the same age (early-mid 20's), they often engage in shenanigans together. This includes sneaking into the temple to play smash-or-pass with the gods drawn in the lamb's doctrine book. Something something they bond over wanting to fuck the bishops.

Tobi and Joan! I don't think I've talked about either of them, so this is new lol. Joan (they/he) was one of the few followers who was bought from Helob, and he kind of resents the lamb for that. So, they act out, since "I never asked to be here", and half of this involves getting drunk and trying to provoke the lamb's disciples. This backfires majorly when he tries to mess with Tobi (he/him, a quiet lumberjack who keeps his thoughts to himself most of the time) and gets their shit ROCKED. (Yes, Joan is based off of yarno from that one post, why do you ask?)

Aubry and Jaty! Aubry (she/her) is a fairly normal follower, but also serves as the resident eccentric elderly person. Like, she is the kind of old lady to casually mention how she witnessed the god of death being slain in a totally mundane conversation. She used to work as a farmer, but once she got old, she retired and now knits and crochets for fun. She also teaches others how to work with fiber arts, including Jaty (she/he), who was accepted into the cult well after he reached old age. He sought out the lamb's cult specifically because she had heard about how caring they were, and she really needed a nice place to live out the rest of his life after her family was taken by the old faith. I'm also considering making him related to Klunko, but I cannot overstate just how unimportant that is.

[skibeegames]

Grove Family Introduction

✩°｡🧸𓏲⋆.🧺𖦹 ₊˚

Welcome to my Grove family introduction. This is the current legacy family I am playing but not my OG legacy family save. As this family is my current household this is the family that will currently be featured the most on this Simblr at the moment. But I do intend to show my other legacy family (play is on hold for this world as I am building my ultimate save file and want to put that out chronologically) in the future. I also wanted to put in a 'fun fact' and say that with most of my gameplay when new generations are born I will randomize traits and aspirations and create their looks with CC based off how they originally looked and dressed before makeover's so that they have more personality.

I will be posting some past screenshots from this save to catch up to the current portrait from above and to show how our founder started out. So spoilers incoming obviously, haha. <3

Brienne Grove

Brienne is the Matriarch of the Grove family and the founder. She is very cottagecore and a very sweet sim. I am very biased as I made her but I think she is very beautiful and just has all over comforting mum vibes. Her aspiration is soulmate and her traits are romantic, cat lover and loner. The Grove family did own 2 cats but they both passed shortly before the birth of their final child.

Akira Kibo

Akira Kibo is Brienne's loving husband and I think she will have definitely completed her soulmate aspiration with him. I gave Akira a CC makeover as he was originally a townie from City Living. Akira's aspiration is The curator and his traits are self-assured, jealous, and romantic. Brienne and Akira met on a night out and after a long night chatting (woohooing), they found out they were expecting a new addition and have been inseparable ever since.

Atlas and Mabel Grove

Brienne and Akira were most surprised (me too) when they found it was addition(s), plural not singular. These are the twins, Atlas and Mabel. Mabel is one of my favourite sims. I have never seen such a unique sim. She is so pretty. Her aspiration is Successful lineage and her traits are bookworm, horse lover and neat. Atlas has the Beach life aspiration and his traits are goofball, clumsy and party animal. These two were obviously very close as children.

Willow and Aubrie Grove

Willow on the left was the next child and after her came Aubrie. Aubrie is the last teen left at the moment and these 2 are very much middle child personified. Willow has a secret her family does not know of and Aubrie is just all around adorable, she was the perfect little sister until her little brother came into the equation quite late. Willow's aspiration is Werewolf initiate (quite telling what her secret is now) and her traits are outgoing, creative and cheerful. Aubrie's aspiration is Party Animal and her traits are music lover and socially awkward.

Myles and Howdy Grove

Finally is Myles and Howdy Grove, yes, I am grouping the baby with the horse. These two are literally the cutest. Myles is definitely one of the most if not the cutest infant I have had so far. He is a sensitive infant. Miss Howdy is Mabel's horse but she is the family pet and she is still a little baby but will end up being quite big as she is a Clydesdale horse. Her traits are fearful, mellow and defiant.

So there it is, the Grove family so far which is soon expanding 👀. I hope you enjoy my posts about them now that you got to know them.

🌱🍄🌻🥞🌿🌷🍎🍀🍓🥕☘️🍃🍯🌸🥧

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance Chapter 4

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: “This must be the ‘fucking scary’ side that I heard about.”

I awoke to my neighbor’s alarm going off, again. I didn’t want my Tuesday to start like this. I was annoyed, but it really wasn’t even that loud. A normal person would probably sleep through it. I laid there attempting to go back to sleep. It went off again twenty minutes later. Seriously, what is the point of hitting the snooze button? Just get up already and be done with it. 

I rolled over and grabbed my phone to do a quick email check. I had an email from Aubry saying she hoped my trip was going well. Nothing else. She was phishing for information. I hit reply and typed out, “It’s fantastic.” then hit send. She was going to love that. I was giving her nothing.

I sat there for a moment wondering if Dieter had social media. This is a slippery slope, I thought. Then I opened Instagram anyway and found him. It was a verified public account, so I’m not sure what I expected to find. There was a lot of promotional stuff for his movies and shows. Some pictures from his travels. Typical celebrity stuff most likely. The latest post was an advertisement for a talk show that was happening this morning. I went to the search bar and entered his name in. Tons of images came up. Pictures of him out with friends. Paparazzi images of him walking around LA. I actually felt kind of bad for the guy. He couldn’t even walk down the street without someone shoving a camera in his face. 

The alarm next door went off again ten minutes later. I huffed and threw my phone down on the bed. I decided to get up and start my day. My morning started the same as yesterday’s, minus the encounter with Dieter. Joe was waiting for me with coffee and a blueberry scone at 7AM. Megan met me outside the building when I arrived. She shared a funny story about her dog on the way up to the office. I felt like she was slowly warming up to me. 

I spent the entire day doing observations and meeting with different staff members to ask questions. My lunch break was quick. I scarfed down the chicken alfredo that Megan had ordered, then immediately got back to work. I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed with the amount of information that was coming in. I was starting to worry that maybe I wouldn’t be able to get through everything before the end of the week and I still hadn’t come across any obvious red flags. I was concerned that I had missed something. That familiar feeling of anxiety was really starting to kick in by the end of the day. I, of course, did not let it show. I was also feeling pretty exhausted. I thought about taking it easy on the workload this evening at the hotel. Maybe even try to go to bed a little earlier.  

When 5 PM hit, I was ready to get out of there. I was peopled out for the day. Talking to people could be so mentally and physically exhausting for me since I tend to be more introverted. These were always my worst days. I would much rather be locked in a room reviewing data.  

I walked out to meet Joe. He greeted me with a smile and again asked if I needed to make any stops before the hotel. I declined and slumped down into the seat. He didn’t try for any chit chat today. I think he could tell I was worn out. He just let me be. We pulled up in front of the hotel and he opened the door to let me out. He told me to have a good evening and he would be here at his usual time in the morning. I nodded my thanks and gave him a small smile. 

I slowly walked into the hotel entrance debating on if I wanted to post up downstairs again while I had dinner or go back to my room and just eat junk food. I stopped in front of the restaurant and looked in. Not a soul in sight, except for Tim the bartender. He saw me, pulled out a wine glass, and started pouring whatever it was he gave me yesterday. I walked in and smiled thanking him as I took it to my back corner booth. He followed behind me. 

“Tough day?” he asked. 

“Not tough. Just long and I still have more to do.”

“Are we having a steady flow of wine and appetizers tonight?” he asked with a sympathetic look on his face.  

“Why not.” I said as I shrugged. He laughed and walked back to put in my order. 

I started pulling out all of my stuff and got to work reviewing more documents. It was an hour and a half later and a glass and a half of wine in when a voice asking to join me snapped me out of my intense focus. It was Dieter. I knew it as soon as I heard his voice. I looked up and he gave me that big, brilliant smile that made me want to melt. I smiled back, “Of course, have a seat!” 

“I hope I’m not distracting you from your work. I can go somewhere else if I need to.”

“No! Not at all. Actually, I think I could use a distraction right now. I need a break. I told myself I was going to take it easy tonight, yet here I am.” I gestured to my stuff spread out on the table and gave an exasperated laugh. 

“Well, if you insist on a distraction…” he chuckled as he sat down in the curved booth, rather closely on my right side. I could feel the heat from his body due to his proximity. It was a miracle that I could focus on anything else. 

“So, how’s it going? Have you uncovered the big secret yet?” he asked with what seemed like genuine interest. 

I sighed heavily, “No, not at all. I have suspicions, but nothing to back it up so far. I’m hopeful I’ll find something tomorrow when I really start digging into their data and tech stuff. I’m starting to get a little worried there may be nothing. Which, if that’s the case, it is what it is. The CEO doesn’t have any definitive proof of anything going on, he just suspects. I didn’t want details on the who or why yet. I don’t want any potential bias to affect what I am doing.”

“I am sure you’ll figure it out. You seem pretty intelligent.” he said as he gently bumped his shoulder against mine. I felt hot suddenly.

“Wha…what about you? Have you heard back about the audition or whatever it was you were anxious about?” I stuttered out. 

“I haven’t. I think I should probably hear something tomorrow. I know they’ve inquired about my filming schedule, so that could be a good sign.” 

“That’s awesome. Hopefully you’ll have something to celebrate tomorrow.”

Bartender Tim came over to take Dieter’s order. He ordered a beer and asked what I was having. 

“I am partaking in endless appetizers and wine tonight. Feel free to have some of whatever I get surprised with next.” Dieter knitted his eyebrows together and started laughing at me. He looked back at bartender Tim and said, “Yeah, bring extra of whatever you're bringing her. We can split it. I’m down for a little appetizer roulette.” Bartender Tim sniggered at us and walked off. 

“Bartender Tim and I have become BFFs already. He’s making sure I’m taken care of.” I said as I raised my wine glass as if to give a toast, then finished it off. 

“How much of that have you had?” Dieter asked. 

“Why? Do I sound drunk already? This is just my second glass. Trust me, I can tolerate more.” He chuckled. 

“I don’t know about drunk, but you’re definitely amusing yourself. How long were you down here yesterday? I saw you as I was leaving.”

“A while..and you didn’t say hi? I feel insulted.” I said jokingly and lightly pushed on his shoulder. For fuck’s sake, I was flirting. I should stop drinking. It’s going to get me in trouble. 

Bartender Tim came back with Dieter’s beer, cheese sticks and jalapeno poppers, more wine, and a glass of water for me. I didn’t even ask for the water. I think he was just doing me a solid before I got sloppy. 

Dieter continued our conversation, “I actually wanted to pop in and say hi, but I was running late. As usual. A fucking disaster as you say. There just isn’t enough time in the day sometimes.”

My phone buzzed. Lauren always had impeccable timing. I tried to ignore it, but it kept buzzing. I looked at him and said sorry as I picked up my phone.

LAUREN: What are you doing? 

LAUREN: I haven’t heard from you much. You need to take a break and call me.

LAUREN: I’m bored. 

LAUREN: What do you want to do for our girl’s day when you get back? Maybe a spa day? 

LAUREN: You DO need to learn how to relax occasionally. 

I rolled my eyes at her. She always did this when she was bored. Normally I found it to be hilarious, but I didn’t have time for that right now. I hit reply. 

ME: I can’t talk right now. 

LAUREN: Why? Are you being held hostage? 

LAUREN: If it’s because of work, then yes you can. Take a break already.

ME: I’m busy. 

LAUREN: Are you ok? These are weird responses for you. 

LAUREN: Waaaaaaaait. Are you with the hottie? 

LAUREN: You better tell me if you are. You know you can’t lie to me. 

Dieter was giving me the side eye. 

“I’m sorry. It’s my best friend. She is being needy and ridiculous right now.” He gave me a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “That’s fine. No biggie.” I started typing out a response. 

ME: Ok, yes. I am. We will talk later. 

LAUREN: Hell yes! Get it GUUURL!

ME: Stop it. Bye. 

I set my phone back down on the table. “Everything ok?” he asked. 

“Yeah, she’s just bored. She gives me hell for working too much. She tends to be a bundle of energy, so she starts about five different conversations before I can get the first response in.” He laughed at my description of her. 

“I can’t fuss about her too much. She’s been amazing the last few months. Helping me with things and all the drama I’ve been dealing with.” I said without thinking. Hopefully he didn’t ask me to elaborate.  

“Drama?” he asked. I gave him a contemplative look. Ok, I guess we are going there, I thought. Without thinking, I put my right hand up to my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  

“I’ve been going through a divorce. He was an asshole and a cheater. I put up with it way longer than I should have. He really messed me up, but it’s done now. Hopefully I’ll never see him again.” I looked down at my glass of wine, expressionless and unblinking. Dieter reached over and grabbed my right hand away from my shoulder, breaking my thoughts. He sat it on the table and gave it a squeeze. I looked up at him and our eyes locked. I could feel my heart almost beating out of my chest. 

“No one deserves to be treated like that. Karma is a bitch. It’ll bite him back one day. He’ll never be happy and live a miserable existence.” 

He said it with conviction. At that moment, I felt like he was looking into my soul with his dark eyes. I could see the sadness hidden there again. It made me wonder if someone had hurt him in the past. He slowly let go of my hand.   

I let out a measured breath, “I certainly hope so. Who knows, maybe one day karma may come in the form of slashed tires and sugar in the gas tank of his fancy car,” I said casually. I was attempting humor to lighten the mood. He took the bait and started laughing at me. 

“This must be the ‘fucking scary’ side that I heard about,” he said through his laughs. 

“Welcome to the show, I’ll be here all week.”

Thankfully that did lighten the mood. We spent two and a half hours chatting, eating, and drinking. The conversation and laughter never stopped. His fun and boisterous side was more evident now than our previous encounters. He had a hilarious sense of humor and even a touch of dark humor that I could appreciate. The small touches continued. He would lean into me and lay his forehead on my shoulder when he laughed. I had seen pictures of him with his friends appearing to do the same thing, so I couldn’t tell if this is just the way he was with people or if he was being flirty. He was very hard to read. I did, however, feel very at ease with him. My anxiety was non-existent once we got past the initial awkwardness. He seemed to be more at ease as well. 

Around 10 PM we decided to call it a night since we both had an early start. I slowly stood up and started packing all my stuff that had been scooted to the other side of the table as he handed it over to me. I was still slightly tipsy.  

“So…” he started to say, then gave a long pause. I stopped what I was doing and looked down at him. “Is it possible that I might run into you down here tomorrow evening? I should be done kind of early.” He looked down at the nearly empty glass in front of him and started lightly tapping on the table with his index finger. He was clearly nervous to ask. He kept his head lowered but looked up at me through his lashes while he bit his lip. Was he trying to give me a heart attack? My mind momentarily wandered to me biting that lip. I shook my head. What the hell was my problem? I suddenly felt embarrassed, like he could read my thoughts. I finally pulled it together enough to respond.

“It’s a very good possibility. We do have to celebrate tomorrow after all.” 

He gave me a questioning look. 

“We’ll be celebrating you getting that role. I have a good feeling about it.”

He gave me a huge smile and said, “Please don’t jinx it” as he got up out of the booth. 

We walked over to the elevator and got on. 

“Which floor?” he asked as he hit the number “9”. I froze and looked at him, slightly confused. 

“What?”

“Are you on the 9th floor?”

“Yeah, why?”

The doors slid shut and I started laughing hysterically. Immediately thinking of Lauren talking about all the destiny garbage. This was getting comical. 

“What’s so funny?” he said with a very confused look on his face. 

“Nothing. It’s just that we’re on the same floor.” He kind of laughed too. The door slid open, and we both stepped off of the elevator. We stopped, awkwardly standing in the middle of the hallway. I had a gut feeling, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle the answer, but I asked anyway. 

“Which room is yours?”

“The second to the end on the left side.” 

I absolutely lost it and doubled over in laughter. “You’re the snooze guy!” I said through my laughter. He stared at me wide eyed and confused. 

I finally got it together and had to wipe tears from my eyes. It was absolutely absurd at this point. 

“Just so you know, I’ve been internally cursing you every morning because I can hear your alarm every time it goes off.”

“You can hear that?” he said in disbelief. 

“Yes, I can. I’m pretty sure our beds share a wall.”

He looked slightly embarrassed for a minute, but then started laughing too. We began walking toward our doors, both still laughing and shaking our heads. We said our goodnights and keyed into our respective suites. Our eyes lingered on each other as we walked through the doors. 

I walked into my suite and shut the door in utter disbelief. There is no way this is actually happening. I threw my stuff down on the couch in the sitting area and dug my phone out of my bag to text Lauren.

ME: You’re never going to believe this. 

LAUREN: Well, hello to you too, jerk. I’ve been waiting to hear from you.

My phone started ringing. She wasted no time calling me. I answered, acutely aware that he was right next door. I was paranoid he could hear me. I stayed on the opposite end of the suite, pacing and talking in a hushed voice. 

“Well? What’s the big news? Did you finally get laid?” Lauren said sarcastically.  

“What?! No. Shut up. I am dying right now. His room literally shares a wall with mine. He’s next door. It’s his alarm that's been waking me up the last two mornings.” 

She was quiet for what seemed like forever. Then there was a burst of laughter. 

“You absolutely cannot make this stuff up,” she said through her maniacal guffaws. 

“So, are you going to tell me what you’ve been doing all this time? I need details.”

“Not many details to be had. We’ve been downstairs at the restaurant talking. We realized our rooms were next to each other after we called it a night. We both laughed about it.” 

“That’s all I get? Really?”

“Yes.”

“You. Suck.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want to read into anything that’s not there. I know if I tell you, we’ll both be doing that. Honestly, I think he’s lonely and just wants someone to hang out with who isn’t fawning over who he is.”  

“Wait, so does he know that you know who he is?”

“No. I haven’t said anything.” 

“Don’t you think maybe you should?”

“Yeah, maybe. I don’t want him to think I was looking him up though.”

“Good point. Maybe it’ll come up naturally next time you see him. Assuming you do.” 

I was quiet. I wasn’t sure if I should tell her we had already discussed dinner tomorrow. 

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Oh my gosh, fine. He’s going to be done early tomorrow, so we’re going to meet for dinner again.”

“Oh. Yeah. There is totally nothing to this,” she said sarcastically.

“That’s it. I’ve got to go. I’m tired. Bye. Goodnight.” 

“Let me know how tomorrow goes!” I heard her yelling as I hung up.  

I got ready for bed. After laying there in the dark for what seemed like forever, I reached for my phone and searched his name again. There were so many pictures and videos of him out with his friends. There were also a lot of him with people he worked with and at events. Nothing recent romantically linking him to any girls though. I skimmed comments on the pictures. On several, there were people arguing about his relationship status and preferences. Poor guy, no wonder he wasn’t dating anyone. The general public and paparazzi were all up in his business.  I heard the faint sound of a TV click on, next door. It seems Dieter was having trouble sleeping too. It was nearing midnight, and I was still wide awake. Knowing that he was just on the other side of the wall was kind of driving me crazy. I could feel the magnetic pull, drawing me to him. I decided I was going to get up and take some melatonin in hopes that would knock me out. About 30 minutes later, I finally drifted off into another restless sleep. 

A/N: Things really start heating up between our dear Dieter and Talia in the next chapter. I promise, it’s coming soon. 😉

Next Chapter

[g0ttal0ve101]

Halloween Special <3

Note: ignore the date that this is posted haha I forgot last night 😓 anywho this is long as hell cause I love aubrie too much so good luck! tw: violence? ig? lol

always forget to tag u but @gh0stface-k1sser

“Mia, I don't wanna go.” Aubrie whined, struggling to unbuckle the car seat Mia stole from one of her clients. “I wanna party with you and Carly.”

Coming around the car to unbuckle her, Mia rolled her eyes and scoffed. “You wouldn’t like going. It’s better if you stay over here with Lu and Kai.”

Aubrie shuddered and pouted her lip, clinging to the end of her jacket nervously. Mia took notice of her anxiety upon opening the door.

“What, you scared?”

Aubrie shook her head defensively. “No! I’m not scared! …When are you coming back?”

Realizing her anxiety might’ve been a result of being afraid of being abandoned, Mia took her a little more seriously. “After trick-or-treat tomorrow.”

Aubrie took one look at the front porch littered with gorey Halloween decorations and shuddered again. “You promise?”

“I promise. I bet you won’t even wanna leave anyway,” she teased, grabbing her little arm to give her a steady landing while getting out of the car. Once they stood side by side, they held hands. “You used to love hanging out with them when you were way little. You remember?”

“Yeah. Why do Kai’s teeth look like that?”

“You better not ask that or I’ll beat your ass.” Mia warned her as they approached the porch.

“But you said if I don’t stay in bed at night, Kai would be under there to bite me. Isn’t he a real vampire?”

“Aubrie.”

“That’s what you saaaid! I’m not lying!”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Mia sighed in annoyance. “Okay, okay, just don’t mention it around them.”

Aubrie hid behind Mia as she rang the doorbell an obnoxious amount of times, clearly intrigued by its sound. For a seventeen-year-old, she could definitely be childish sometimes.

When the door and screen door creaked opened, Aubrie nearly had a heart attack. She hid further behind Mia, peeking as though she were a tree to take cover behind.

“Happy Halloween, Mia!” Lucian bubbled, wrapping his arms around her out of instinct. This left Aubrie completely uncovered and at the mercy of Kai’s stare, which burned into her like cigarette cherries against an ashtray. She shuddered and grabbed at Mia’s jacket.

“I forgot how far you guys go with the decorations out here! These are fuckin’ awesome! Where’d you get ‘em?”

Lucian and Kai exchanged glances with a mischievous giggle.

“Well, it depends which ones you’re talking about. We got the pumpkins from the patch down by Evergreen Park—!”

Jumping into the conversation, Kai wrapped his arms around Lucian’s waist and locked eye contact with Mia as if to say ‘mine.’ “Wanna see how I got all the organs? I can show you.”

Mia scoffed and rolled her eyes. “What’s up, Kai? You’re just as short as I remember you being.”

“And you’re still a—…”

Lucian tamed his mouth with a singular glance. It was more impressive than funny, though Mia couldn’t stop herself from letting out a sly giggle.

“Anyway, here’s the lil’ jerk.” Mia hummed, pulling her by the hood of her Hello Kitty coat to present her to the two boys. She struggled up until the point where she stood before them. “She’s really excited to go trick-or-treating with you guys.”

Aubrie was too busy having a staring contest with Kai to care about that lie. She couldn’t tell if he was just trying to creep her out or if he genuinely wanted her shot dead. Either way, her gaze was eventually directed toward Lucian as he kneeled down to talk to her.

“Hi, Aubrie!” He gushed with a smile that was sure to bring a shred of light into any darkness. Despite being an obviously physically affectionate person, he kept his hands to himself this time. “Your hair is so long and pretty! Does Mia do it all nice for you like that?”

Aubrie blinked in disbelief by the sudden burst of verbal affection she was receiving, especially from a guy. Aubrie couldn’t remember the last time she really even spoke to a guy who wasn’t related to the Mason family. Lucian was the first in weeks, probably even months. It made her a little uncomfortable. Guys always made her uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I do.” Mia said while patting her head proudly. “I thought I might as well pull it up since she’s gonna be staying the night. It gets tangled otherwise.”

Staying the night. Aubrie sort of wanted to cry even thinking about going one night without Mia being there to keep her safe. Then again, Mia wouldn’t leave her there if she didn’t think these two were safe, right? Her thoughts were spiraling.

“It’s cute! Maybe I can braid your hair later, huh? I like braiding hair.”

“Good, ‘cause I suck ass at it. She always asks for it though. See, Aubrie? You’d be better off with Lu than with me.”

Aubrie spun around and hugged Mia tightly, practically crawling on her and begging to be picked up. “Nuh-uh! I like being with you, Mimi! Don’t leave me here for good!”

Lucian and Mia laughed. Kai rolled his eyes.

“I won’t, muñequita. Okay? Now, go on.”

Her warm tone made Aubrie’s muscles relax involuntarily. It was soothing to the ears and even better for her mind as she released her and took a step toward Lucian all on her own.

“Thank you so much for taking her, you guys. Seriously, I would’ve been fucked if you guys didn’t.”

“Anytime!” Lucian bubbled, standing back up to give Aubrie some room to come in.

Kai interjected before that statement was thrown around so loosely. “Just this time.”

Mia folded her arms with an instinctive pissed-off tongue click. “Eso fue lo que dijo tu mamá cuando tu papá se quitó el condón para concebirte.”

“…What?”

“Love you, Lu. Love you, Aubrie. Byeee.”

They said their farewells and Lucian let Aubrie wave goodbye all the way up until Mia drove off. With her pink duffle bag full over overnight clothes stunting her balance a little, she waddled in alongside the two boys. She walked closer to Lucian than Kai.

“So, what do you wanna be this year, Aubrie?” Lucian asked, speaking in a tone so gentle that even Kai started getting enticed by it.

Blinking while deep in thought, she set her bag down clumsily. “Uhh…a princess!”

“Wrong,” Kai snapped. “That’s not scary.”

“Does it have to be scary?” Aubrie asked shakily, too nervous to even spare a glimpse in Kai’s direction.

Lucian kneeled down again to be eye-level with her and further drive her attention away from the way he was acting. “It can be whatever you want. Anything at all.”

Trying to appease Kai, she thought of the first scary thing that came to mind while looking at him. “…Can I be a vampire princess, then?”

Lucian’s eyes lit up from the mere thought of it. “Yeah! That’s a great idea! What color do you want your costume to be?”

“Black and red!” Aubrie cheered, imagining twirling in a big poofy dress. “All vampires wear black and they drink red blood, so black and red!”

“You’re right! I like the way you think. C’mon, I’ll help you put your stuff away.”

Kai watched as the two walked hand-in-hand up the stairwell and in the direction of their bedroom. Jealousy simmered inside of him. There was a part of him that knew it was wrong to feel so jealous of a little girl, but he couldn’t help it. It was the way Lucian spoke to her, interacted with her, and looked at her with such gentle, calculated eyes. He was wonderful with kids despite having no experience with them at all.

And Kai…

/—/—/—/—/—/—/—\—\—\—\—\—\—\

Aubrie was beyond exhausted from her long night of doing nothing but talking and playing with Lucian as he fixed up the costume for her. And although she wasn’t very scared of staying the night anymore, she still felt mildly uncomfortable while laying in their bed.

When she was first told she’d be sleeping in their bedroom, she was excited. At home, she never really had her own room before, so she believed sleeping by herself would be a big accomplishment. However, after a while of rolling around in their big bed and testing out all their blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals, she started to grow weary. Usually there was some sort of sound at home — Mia’s voice wandering around the house as she spoke to Carl on the phone, or the sound of dishes clinking together from her washing them, or the TV going...

That’s right. Aubrie peered up at the TV stand across the bed. She figured that by finding the remote, she’d be able to switch between the channels and pick a cartoon to fall asleep to. However, she was surprised to see that whenever turned it on, there was already a cassette inside. In other words, the TV was playing one of Lucian and Kai’s home-made videos.

She got nervous about what she might see and desperately hit every button to try to turn it off. Mia always told her to never watch the VHS tapes at home because they were secret “movies” she made with Carl and only for Carl to see. Aubrie didn’t have to ask why — she knew why. All grown-up couples do the same gross things, so she figured Lucian and Kai might fall under that category too.

Her constant button clicking did nothing. The tape began to play out with a low buzzing sound, recorded on a low audio quality camera. It started in the dark. Aubrie couldn’t see much of what was going on, but could hear swift footsteps tapping against a hard surface. Then, a bright light from the bathroom door opening flashed into the lenses.

“Kai, I told you not to bring that in here!” Lucian scolded with his arms tightly wrapped around his chest to hide his indecency. He was sitting in the bathtub with his hair in the shape of a mohawk, held by bubbles and douses of soap.

Kai deliberately held the camera at an angle where nothing personal could be shown. “I’m taking a picture of my masterpiece.”

Upon hearing his reasoning, Lucian dropped his arms, stuck his tongue out playfully, and pretended to headbang as if to mock a hardcore metal band. Kai laughed from behind the camera.

“Aah! Your hair’s splashing me!”

“Hahaha! So, you think I’m cute with a mohawk?” His hair was collapsing from the previous headbanging performance he gave. Sticking it back up into their original spikes, he slid his hands upward to keep them standing. By doing this, his pretty figure was subtly shown off.

“More sexy than cute.”

Lucian lowered his head with a seductive smile, staring right into the camera lense. “Don’t say thaaat…”

They laughed airlessly together as Kai practically smothered him with kisses, holding the camera at an angle to align their faces perfectly. Lucian’s face scrunched up in pure joy as his lips met his skin, playfully pushing him away.

“You’re so sexy, Lu.”

“Stoppp!”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re not!”

“Yeah, I’m not. Lemme do your hair again.”

“But I like it in a mohawk! You said I look sexy!”

“You always look sexy, silly.”

“This is the first time you ever said it out loud though, so the mohawk must be doing something for you.”

Kai practically died laughing. “Shut up! No!”

“You want me to cut my hair into a mohawk, huhhh? The things I do for love.”

Raising his hand, Kai slicked back all his hair back into its original shape. Lucian frowned.

“Lucian, I love you just the way you are.”

A smile reappeared on Lucian’s face from the comment, his cheeks suddenly a rosy pink. “Baby…”

Aubrie, invested in the tape, hadn’t noticed the door creaked open. Standing there to greet her was none other than Kai himself.

“What’re you watching?”

“GAH!” Aubrie screeched, practically throwing the remote at his face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I accidentally turned it on…!” She sputtered, unsure of what he’d do once he saw the video playing out.

His eyes fell on the TV before he groaned and snatched the remote. Knowing she was at his mercy, Aubrie trembled. There had only been a handful of times where she found herself alone with Kai in her life and she’d prefer to keep it that way. Kai didn’t seem to particularly like her very much anyhow and she didn’t want to make it any worse by sticking around him.

He looked at her. She prepared herself for the beginning of a lecture about how inconsiderate and rude it was to look through their videos like that. At least, that’s what Mia would’ve done, with a little extra insults too. But Kai only watched her facial expressions vary between scared and confused, picking at her fingernails.

“…He’s cute, isn’t he?” Kai hummed playfully, setting the remote down once he shut the TV off again. “I forgot about that one. Lu must‘ve been watching it earlier.”

Aubrie nervously laughed. “Sorry, I-I thought it would turn onto the cable channels…”

“I don’t care.”

The way those words rolled off his tongue sounded harsh, but Aubrie assumed he meant it in a ‘I don’t care you watched it,’ kind of way rather than a ‘I don’t care what you’re saying’ way. She was still intimidated by either reaction.

“Do you need tucked back in?”

She was caught off guard by the sudden gentle sound to his voice. Blinking in disbelief and locking eye contact with him, she nodded silently and laid back down. Kai grabbed the ends of the blankets and pulled them over her petite figure.

“Thank you,” she squeaked.

Kai looked at her face for a long while, examining every feature she had, before smiling softly. “Are you excited to go trick-or-treating tomorrow?”

She had practically forgotten about it by that point. With so much going on and being unfamiliar to her, she found herself living in the moment ever since Mia dropped her off. And to that recollection of events, she couldn’t help but smile back. “Yeah! Thank you for letting me go…”

Her gratitude clearly hit Kai hard. His eyebrows raised in surprise as he seemingly searched his mind for a response, unprepared for her sweet words.

“I didn’t want you to come, Lulu did. But I can’t say no to him, so that’s why you’re here.” Kai said bluntly.

Aubrie didn’t know if she should’ve felt offended. Telling by how nonchalant he said it, probably not.

“O-Oh…”

“Yeah. He’s the best. Don’t you think he’s the best? And the cutest? And funniest? And sweetest?”

“Um…yeah!”

“So you agree? You like him, then?” His voice suddenly grew intense, his eyes wide.

She started second guessing her answers. Mia told her that if she didn’t want to get in trouble she should always tell the truth, so she racked up her full-fledged opinion on the matter and hoped for the best.

“Mhm. He’s nice to me and…he doesn’t yell at me or call me names,” she murmured with bashful eyes. “I really do like him. Mimi really likes him too. I mean, she doesn’t even let me stay the night at Carly’s house without her, so…so that means she really trusts him to let me stay over now, even if you’re both boys. So, I trust you guys too.”

She cringed at herself. Maybe that was a little too honest.

Kai blinked in disbelief for a while before smiling softly at her. His eyes were less scary than before. “You talk more than I thought you did.”

She frowned. “Is that bad?”

“No.” Kai shifted his attention back toward the TV, perhaps reflecting on their original point of conversation. “You want me to turn cartoons on for you?”

Aubrie almost said no in fear she’d be a nuisance by agreeing, but knew she wouldn’t get sleep any other way. “Yes, please…”

With a click of a few buttons, Kai had it up and running in no time. Aubrie thanked him quietly but to no reply as he watched alongside her. The way he hovered near the bed made her nervous. She scolded herself for being such a baby.

Kai looked back over at her and she tensed up, preparing for another one of his curveballs. Seriously, there was no telling what the guy was going to say or do. Sometimes he looked like he wanted her dead, but other times he was as nice as ever. It was overwhelming for a people-pleaser like Aubrie.

“I’m gonna go back downstairs now, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Aubrie.”

Settling herself down into the blankets, she couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. “Goodnight, Kai…”

Their eyes met again.

“I-I mean, goodnight, sir!”

Kai rested his arm against the doorway and looked back one more time before turning the light back off. “I like the first way better.”

—/—/—/—/—/—/—\—\—\—\—\—\—\—

Aubrie had almost forgotten how fun trick-or-treating was until she was back out in the crisp autumn air again. With cold fingertips and nose, she skipped down the sidewalk block to block with her pillowcase of candy gradually filling to the brim throughout the night. At first, she was too scared to go knock on the door by herself and had Lucian hold her hand. But after an hour or so, she was knocking and ringing every doorbell in sight without a care in the world.

All the adults looked at her with wide eyes when they opened their door or approached their table. She figured it was because of how scary her costume was, but failed to realize it was due to the amount of blood Lucian and Kai began to rack up on their costumes, standing close behind her.

“Trick-or-treat!”

“Aw, now aren’t you cute?” The elderly woman lifted her bowl toward Aubrie, showcasing all the goodies inside. As she dug through to find her favorite candy bar, the woman set her sights on the other two. Her smile soon shifted into a frown. “Where in God’s name did you get all of that blood? You look like you were down at the slaughterhouse!”

“Thanks!” Lucian cheekily said. His smile was so genuine that it was hard to be mad at.

But she found a way. “A little much for trick-or-treating, don’t you think?”

“What? Being zombies?”

“I mean, those costumes are just so gorey. We have young eyes around here, y’know.”

“Ohh, really? You think we went too far?”

Lucian’s understanding tone and loving eyes somehow made her more uncomfortable than she would’ve been if he cursed her out. She shuddered and clutched at the cloak draped over her shoulders. “Just a little bit, I suppose.”

Pointing up at his head covered in gooey pink and red slime to represent brains and blood, he giggled. “It’s the brains, isn’t it? I thought it looked cool—!”

“Just keep it in mind for next year, boys.”

Interrupted.

That old bitch just interrupted him.

Lucian laughed it off and dug his hand into the bowl next, looking over his shoulder at Kai. It was impossible to prevent what was going to happen next.

“…You’re so silly, kitty. C’mon.”

Swiping a piece of candy from the bowl, Kai interlocked his eyes with hers. She trembled from the mere thought of what laid behind those dull eyes.

“You wanna see real gore?”

“Kaiii, let’s go!”

Gargling on her own blood, the woman grabbed at the wound across her throat. The crimson color ran down her arms and costume, sprinkling into the candy as though it was sweetener. Just as the life left her eyes, Kai pushed her head back and set the bowl into her lap. The next group of kids thought she was playing pretend.

“…Coming.”

As they approached the end of the street, grabbing as many handfuls of candy they could from each house, Aubrie’s heart began to race. Mia never took her trick-or-treating on the South side. She always said it was for “trashy older kids.” Aubrie assumed she meant teenagers.

Upon crossing the street and walking a few blocks, Aubrie saw the number of kids her age windle out. There were ten, then eight, then six, then three, then one — herself. All the other groups of trick-or-treaters were at least thirteen or older, wearing more gorey and revealing costumes than the kids. Suddenly all the decorations seemed to get more detailed and the sky grew darker and air got colder and the crowds got bigger and bigger.

“I don’t think zombie lovers are really that scary, right? I thought it was cute!” Lucian whined, unwrapping a big cherry lollipop to suck on for the rest of the night. “We even put all those brains on you to make it seem like you ate mine! I guess she just didn’t get it.”

“…If I were a zombie, I’d probably eat your heart first anyway.”

“Aww, stop!”

Aubrie stopped dead in her tracks. The other two followed her lead with confusion written all over their faces.

“I wanna go home.”

. . .

“What?” Kai’s eyes had that same intense flair in them again, shaking the Earth to its core.

Baffled just as much as his boyfriend, Lucian asked the same thing. “What? What’s wrong, honey?”

Aubrie grabbed at his pant leg again, pressing her face against his thigh. “I’m scared!”

Kai and Lucian exchanged glances.

Kneeling to her level with a warm smile, Lucian yet again kept his hands to himself. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I know it gets a little creepier over here, but I promise everything’s still the same. Besides, they have much better candy on this side of town! We won’t let anything hurt you, okay?”

Aubrie glanced up at Kai.

“I-I dunno…! I don’t think I—!”

Before she could finish, her feet were swept from off the sidewalk’s pavement. It took her a few seconds to process that Kai picked her up. She tensed. There wasn’t much she could do but stare at him in awe.

Lucian was just as surprised as she was, his mouth agape and his eyes wider than ever. A bright smile flashed on his face. Aubrie wasn’t sure why.

“Stop whining.” Kai said in a tone so cold it could give out frostbite, but his words were warmer than a beautiful summer day. He was trying to comfort her. “Now nothing can get you. Not even Lulu.”

“Aww man! I wanted to get her!” Lucian cried playfully.

Aubrie sniffled and laughed softly, trying to avoid showing her puffy face by wrapping her arms around him and resting her chin on his shoulder.

Lucian’s cheesy smile was impossible to miss. Kai smiled weakly back and rolled his eyes in an attempt to convince him that he didn’t like it.

Both Kai and Lucian were showered his compliments door to door, clearly hitting their target audience on this side of town. (Or maybe everyone was just being nicer because they were drunk.) From what Aubrie saw, she could tell everybody had way cooler outfits than the North side — after all, most people over here didn’t have the money for a store-bought costume and had to make theirs from scratch. She enjoyed taking a good look at their work and seeing how detailed they were, up until she started recognizing people.

Riley was the first she saw and knew. She knocked on the door three times, waited awhile, and began turning away to go to the next house before the door swung open and revealed her. She wasn’t wearing a costume — which was weird because Riley liked Halloween — and her eyes almost looked frantic. She held out a bowl of candy and checked behind her shoulder a few times, completely disregarding Aubrie’s presence.

“Trick-or-treat…?”

“I didn’t know you lived on the South side, Riley!” Lucian bubbled, clearly overlooking the strange behavior she was displaying. “Didn’t you live closer to the school?”

“…This is Sam’s house,” she murmured. Her eyes finally fell onto Aubrie. She smiled weakly. “I didn’t know he had so many trick-or-treaters on this street, haha…”

“I guess it’s sorta off from the main road, but yeah. Where’s Sam?” Lucian peered inside the house.

Riley tensed up. “Uh…he’s sick. Fever and all.”

“Dude, that sucks. We’re supposed to finish our American history project on Monday.”

“He should be fine by then, don’t worry. He’s just sleeping right now.”

“Right.” Kai said. Tension rose almost immediately after his tone hit the conversation.

Riley nudged the bowl toward him. Kai took a handful and shoved it into his bag with a blank stare.

“…Well, I hope he feels better!” Lucian stammered, grabbing at Kai’s arm in order to deescalate the situation. “Here, he can have some of my candy. I feel bad he’s missing out.”

“That’s okay—!”

Lucian shoved the candy into her hands anyway. “Some for you, too!”

She laughed softly and accepted it. “Okay, okay. Um…you should really go up the street some. I heard they’re passing out cake-pops.”

“Cake-pops?!” All three of them exclaimed, exchanging excited glances.

“Yeah. It’s that big house on the hill.”

“Thank you for telling us!” Lucian gushed, hurriedly skipping down the porch steps to get back on the move. “Tell Sam I said hi!”

“Okay…”

“See you Monday!”

“See ya…” Riley rushed to wave goodbye before eagerly closing the door.

Kai continued to stare at the house for a moment or two before turning away and following Lucian’s lead. Aubrie didn’t understand what it was he felt so uneasy about, but trusted his intuition. Kai always had a good instinct.

Happier than ever, Lucian twirled around and skipped down the sidewalk. This could’ve been from the raw excitement building up in his body after hearing the news of the good treats, but it probably had something more to do with all the sugar he’s had so far. He was practically bouncing off the walls.

“What kinda flavors do you think they have? I hope they have chocolate! I love chocolate! Vanilla’s okay too, but I love chocolate the most! How about you, Aubrie? Do you like chocolate or vanilla more? Maybe they have something like strawberry! Dude, imagine they have strawberry…”

Kai shifted Aubrie on his other hip. “I hope they don’t have the nasty corner store cake-pops. Those are gross.”

“No, no, no, Riley said they made ‘em!”

“Did she?”

“She did!”

Aubrie giggled. “Nuh-uh, she just said they had them.”

Walking backwards with his attention fully focused onto the two behind him, Lucian laughed. “Maybe you’re right, but I think she knows the corner store cake-pops are gross, so she wouldn’t have told us to go up there to get ‘em. Right, Kai? Right?”

Laughing at how frantic he was acting, Kai shook his head. “You’re being silly, Lu. How much candy did you eat so far?”

Lucian tapped on his chin and thought about it for a few moments. “Uhh…a lollipop, a chocolate bar, a bag of gummies, some chocolate pretzels, and I think…oh, and bubble gum! See?”

Lucian blew a bright pink bubble from his lips with the gum he was chewing. It popped as soon as he knocked into somebody and fell to the ground.

Candy spilled all over the pavement. Lucian rushed to pick everything up for the individual he knocked into, guilty and embarrassed for being so careless.

“Sorry, that’s my bad! I wasn’t paying attention to where I was—!” He stopped panicking once he saw who it was he knocked into. With a grand smile on his face, Lucian leaped onto him with a huge smile. “Happy Halloween, Max!”

Max, hugging him back while simultaneously bleeding from his nose, smiled wide enough to showcase some of his missing teeth. “Luuu, I didn’t know you were going trick-or-treating down here!”

“Yeah! Me and Kai usually go here last!” he gushed, scooping the candy up and shoving it back into Max’s half-empty bag. “Have you gone up to the big house on the hill?”

Wiping his nose with his sleeve before Lucian could see how bloody it was, he shook his head. “Noo…I can’t get up there with my crutches.”

. . .

“I knocked you over on your crutches?!” Lucian screeched, horrified as to how badly he could’ve hurt him. “Oh my God, I didn’t even realize! Shit, hold on!”

Kai set Aubrie down and helped Lucian lift Max up, who had a full medical boot on his left foot. Aubrie helped grab the crutches.

“Thanks you guys,” Max hummed despite his condition. It was like he was unaffected by any pain he endured — though, he was pretty used to it by then. “Don’t worry, I’m okay. This is the third time I fell tonight.”

“I’m so sorry!” Lucian hugged him tightly, practically breaking all the bones in his body by accident. “You can have all my candy, if you want!”

Max shook his head. “Nah, I’m good with what I have. I have more than enough to share with my big brother, sooo…oh! The big house on the hill! Yeah! Are you guys going up there?”

They nodded in unison.

“Well, be careful. That hill’s pretty steep. When I went up there last year, I fell all the way down and broke my right arm and left leg. Yeah, that sucked…but the lady’s nice, though.” Max locked eyes with Aubrie, raising his eyebrows in surprise. “Woah, wait! You guys didn’t tell me you had a kid! What the heck! Are you guys gonna elope to France or something, what’s going on?! Are you gonna have more kids?! Like, babies and stuff? Dude, I wanna be an uncle! Lu, can I please be their uncle?”

Lucian laughed. Kai shuddered.

“No, Max. This is Miss Aubrie,” Lucian hummed, presenting her as though she were a princess. “We’re babysitting her!”

“Yeah, don’t say stuff like that…I will never change a diaper again.” Kai looked as though he saw a ghost.

Aubrie was sort of confused why he said ‘again’ until she remembered what Mia told her — Kai had tons of siblings, including a lot of little ones, before he ran from home. He was practically mom-ified at the age of four, taking care of kids that his parents refused to care about.

Suddenly, a whole bunch of things started to make sense. It was no wonder why Kai was hesitant to make an effort toward Aubrie’s stay. He didn’t want the responsibility of another kid.

Lucian wrapped his arm around Kai’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll change them if you end up giving me one.” He pecked his cheek with a flirtatious giggle.

Kai playfully pushed him away. “No, no, no, no, no, not happening, no.”

“Hahaha! Aww, but I think you’d be a good dad…”

“L-Lucian!”

“Whaaat? Am I embarrassing you? Sorry.” Lucian teasingly ruffled his hair. “It’s fine if you don’t wanna kid. I don’t mind having you all to myself…”

Max and Aubrie exchanged horrified looks, in awe by the sudden change in his behavior. Lucian was good at being a flirt. Too good.

In a blink of an eye, Lucian’s behavior returned back to its original form. “Anyhow, it’s so nice to see you, Max! Your costume is adorable! Did you do a pirate ‘cause the boot?”

“M-Mhm. Plus I lost all these teeth, so…”

“Right! How’s your big brother?”

“He’s doing good, but I just remembered he wants me home by eight, so I better get going, haha…”

“Are you gonna be okay walking home by yourself? We could walk you—!”

“No, no, I’ll be fine! See you Monday!”

Clearly shaken up by the flirting session that took place before his eyes, Max turned the corner faster than a guy on crutches probably should. Lucian was oblivious to how good his accidental performance really was, paying no mind to his hurried exit.

It didn’t take long before the trio reached the end of the driveway of the huge house on the hill. Aubrie thought it looked like something from a cheesy 90s horror movie, but nevertheless, it still creeped her out. There weren’t many people around at that point considering the time and how dark the sky was getting. She grabbed a hold of Lucian’s hand as they trekked up the steep hill, almost dragging her bag of candy on the ground because of how heavy it was. Kai helped her by picking it up.

“I’m so excited! I don’t think we’ve ever trick-or-treated here before!” Lucian gushed, despite being out of breath from the long haul. “But after this one, I think it’s about time to head home. It’s getting cold.”

Aubrie could tell he was just saying that because she was cold — his hand was warmer than ever. It felt nice to be able to hold it whenever they were trekking up together, otherwise she would’ve been worried about tripping.

Once they made it to the very top, they took a mini break before stepping onto the front porch. It was decorated with Jack-o-lanterns and candles all around, with one bowl sitting on a table. When they peered inside, however, it was completely empty.

“Damn. We showed up too late.” Kai murmured, clearly disappointed by the way he spoke.

Lucian laughed it off. “Oh, well. It’s okay. At least we burned some calories before we ate all this candy, right?”

Just as they prepared to turn back around, the front door opened. There stood an elderly man, looking at them as though he recognized them from somewhere. He smiled widely and stepped all the way out, showcasing his odd, tall, and frail figure entirely.

“Did she not make enough?” he asked, his voice hoarse as though he hadn’t spoken in months.

Lucian politely replied as always. “Yeah, but that’s alright! There’s always next year.”

“…I have some more inside. C’mon…”

Aubrie remembered what Mia told her at that exact moment — if a stranger were to ever invite her inside their house, she should kick them in the nuts and run. She was prepared to do just that before Lucian’s voice interjected her thoughts.

“No, it’s better we get going. Thank you though.”

His eyes fell onto Aubrie. She felt like he was going to capture her very soul just by his eyes.

“Mmh, a very pretty young lady. What’re you supposed to be?” His words were slurred as he spoke.

Hesitantly, she answered. “A vampire princess…”

“Wow. You’re just sooo pretty…”

He reached for her to see it closer. But before his fingertips could even graze her delicate skin, Lucian grabbed his arm and yanked it away harshly. She could see his fingernails digging deep into his forearm as though he were prepared to break it.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m not a pedophile. I just wanted to see her costume bett—!”

“You can see it perfectly fine as is.”

“…What’s your problem, kid? Get the hell off me. I’ll call the police.”

“Yeah? You gonna call the police ‘cause you just tried to grab a seven-year-old girl while you’re drunk?”

“I’m not drunk…”

“Oh, yeah you are. I can smell the liquor from here. Now you better get your sorry ass inside that house or I’ll give you a good lesson on how to keep your hands to yourself. Pick.”

“Quit treating me like I’m a pedophile ‘cause I wanted to see that little bitch’s costume better!”

In the blink of an eye, the man stumbled backward and fell on his ass, holding his wrist as though it was coming off. It probably felt like it was. Lucian slit it open right along the vital veins.

“Goddamnit! Shit! God, God, God! What the fuck did you do?!” he screeched as blood poured from the wound nonstop. He rushed into the house faster than a flash of lightning.

Lucian turned towards the two of them with a little bit of blood on his face. He always looked better with blood. Always.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” His voice was slow and shaky, coming off of the adrenaline rush. “I didn’t mean to scare you. That guy was just talking so gross that I had to. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, honey. Please don’t be scared.”

Aubrie hugged him without hesitation. He held her close for a moment before lifting her off her feet and stroking her hair back.

“I’m not.”

Kai watched, this time feeling no sense of envy at all. Aubrie was a special little girl. That’s why instead of crying like a normal kid would, she smiled ear-to-ear instead.

/—/—/—/—/—/—\—\—\—\—\—\—\

“Kai, are you a real vampire?” Aubrie asked curiously, sitting on the couch while getting her hair braided.

They immediately started giggling together. She was too damn cute for them to handle. Especially when she sat so politely and seemed so serious.

Playing along, Kai nodded and rested his head on Lucian’s shoulder. “Mhm.”

“Oh…so are those bites on Lulu’s neck real? Is he gonna be a vampire now, too?”

Blush spread across both their faces before the doorbell rang, saving them from the embarrassing moment they almost found themselves in.

Lucian hurriedly finished off the braid while Kai collected all her bags, heading toward the door to answer it. There, he saw Mia and Carl standing side-by-side, smiling like a bunch of idiots. The strong smell of alcohol was not only overwhelming but concerning — Carl could hardly stand up straight.

“Heyyy, pretty kitty.” Mia teased, swaying back and forth with a dopey smile. “Where’s my baby at? Auuubrie! C’mon, we gotta go hooome!”

Lucian brought her over with a bright smile. “She was an angel. Did you guys have fun?”

Mia hummed and waved Aubrie over, evidently too drunk to even remember to reply in a coherent sentence. Lucian laughed nervously.

“Mia…you’ll be okay to drive, right?”

“Yessir, yes, yes, yes. I am very, very good at driving, sir. I will go home safe. Aubrie, please c’mon. Carly’s gonna throw up and prolly piss himself.”

Whining, Aubrie shook her head. “I wanna stay!”

“…Goddamnit, Aubrie. We don’t have time for that. Say bye-bye and let’s go.”

“But—!”

Muttering in Spanish, Mia rubbed her temples. “They need some time alone now, okay? We gotta go.”

On the verge of tears, Aubrie hugged both Lucian and Kai. “Can I come back? Please?”

“Of course, honey.” Lucian hummed.

“Anytime.” Kai added with a soft pat to her head. “Now, go on. Mia missed you.”

That seemed to put her in the mood to go home. Grabbing Carl’s hand and wiping her teary eyes, she waved goodbye and smiled brightly. Mia said thank you a thousand times before they all headed back to the car, driving off slower and safer than usual. At least Mia kept that promise.

After the door shut, Lucian sighed heavily with a sleepy grin.

“That went well.”

“Mhm.”

. . .

“But it’s good to be able to do this again,” Kai hummed as he held Lucian close and kissed on his neck. He giggled and tried to squirm away, but his grip was too strong.

“Aaah! Don’t turn me into a vampire! Nooo!”

“Too late. You’re mine now.”

Lucian sighed lovingly and stopped fighting it. “Forever.”

[thefiresfromheaven]

The time has come, my friends, to say good-bye.

I have decided that it’s time to delete this account— along with the works that have been produced here— and start anew.

I will be reposting edited, revamped versions of all my work, as well as new projects that I have been working on for the last year.

For those of you that decide to follow me on my new journey— I so look forward to this adventure and can not wait to start posting.

For those of you that decide it’s time for us to part ways— I thank you, from the bottoms of my heart, for all the love, support, encouragement, and every interaction whether it was big or small. This blog has been my home for five year and even though I’m sad to see it go, I know that it’s time for growth and change. And none of that would have been possible without every single one of you.

Linked below is my new home, where I will continue to create worlds and build something for those who wish to share it with me.

Again, thank you all for everything. I hope to see you soon— and if I don’t just know that I wish you all the happiness in the world with all the gratitude I have.

With all the Love, Xx.

[sunaleisocial]

Creative collisions: Crossing the art-science divide

New Post has been published on https://sunalei.org/news/creative-collisions-crossing-the-art-science-divide/

Creative collisions: Crossing the art-science divide

MIT has a rich history of productive collaboration between the arts and the sciences, anchored by the conviction that these two conventionally opposed ways of thinking can form a deeply generative symbiosis that serves to advance and humanize new technologies. 

This ethos was made tangible when the Bauhaus artist and educator György Kepes established the MIT Center for Advanced Visual Studies (CAVS) within the Department of Architecture in 1967. CAVS has since evolved into the Art, Culture, and Technology (ACT) program, which fosters close links to multiple other programs, centers, and labs at MIT. Class 4.373/4.374 (Creating Art, Thinking Science), open to undergraduates and master’s students of all disciplines as well as certain students from the Harvard Graduate School of Design (GSD), is one of the program’s most innovative offerings, proposing a model for how the relationship between art and science might play out at a time of exponential technological growth. 

Now in its third year, the class is supported by an Interdisciplinary Class Development Grant from the MIT Center for Art, Science and Technology (CAST) and draws upon the unparalleled resources of MIT.nano; an artist’s high-tech toolbox for investigating the hidden structures and beauty of our material universe.

Play video

Creating Art, Thinking Science Class at MIT Video: Arts at MIT

High ambitions and critical thinking

The class was initiated by Tobias Putrih, lecturer in ACT, and is taught with the assistance of Ardalan SadeghiKivi MArch ’23, and Aubrie James SM ’24. Central to the success of the class has been the collaboration with co-instructor Vladimir Bulović, the founding director of MIT.nano and Fariborz Maseeh Chair in Emerging Technology, who has positioned the facility as an open-access resource for the campus at large — including MIT’s community of artists. “Creating Art, Thinking Science” unfolds the 100,000 square feet of cleanroom and lab space within the Lisa T. Su Building, inviting participating students to take advantage of cutting-edge equipment for nanoscale visualization and fabrication; in the hands of artists, devices for discovering nanostructures and manipulating atoms become tools for rendering the invisible visible and deconstructing the dynamics of perception itself. 

The expansive goals of the class are tempered by an in-built criticality. “ACT has a unique position as an art program nested within a huge scientific institute — and the challenges of that partnership should not be underestimated,” reflects Putrih. “Science and art are wholly different knowledge systems with distinct historical perspectives. So, how do we communicate? How do we locate that middle ground, that third space?”

An evolving answer, tested and developed throughout the partnership between ACT and MIT.nano, involves a combination of attentive mentorship and sharing of artistic ideas, combined with access to advanced technological resources and hands-on practical training. 

“MIT.nano currently accommodates more than 1,200 individuals to do their work, across 250 different research groups,” says Bulović. “The fact that we count artists among those is a matter of pride for us. We’ve found that the work of our scientists and technologists is enhanced by having access to the language of art as a form of expression — equally, the way that artists express themselves can be stretched beyond what could previously be imagined, simply by having access to the tools and instruments at MIT.nano.”

A playground for experimentation

True to the spirit of the scientific method and artistic iteration, the class is envisioned as a work in progress — a series of propositions and prototypes for how dialogue between scientists and artists might work in practice. The outcomes of those experiments can now be seen installed in the first and second floor galleries at MIT.nano. As part of the facility’s five-year anniversary celebration, the class premiered an exhibition showcasing works created during previous years of “Creating Art, Thinking Science.” 

Visitors to the exhibition, “zero.zerozerozerozerozerozerozerozeroone” (named for the numerical notation for one nanometer), will encounter artworks ranging from a minimalist silicon wafer produced with two-photon polymerization (2PP) technology (“Obscured Invisibility,” 2021, Hyun Woo Park), to traces of an attempt to make vegetable soup in the cleanroom using equipment such as a cryostat, a fluorescing microscope, and a Micro-CT scanner (“May I Please Make You Some Soup?,” 2022, Simone Lasser). 

These works set a precedent for the artworks produced during the fall 2023 iteration of the class. For Ryan Yang, in his senior year studying electrical engineering and computer science at MIT, the chance to engage in open discussion and experimental making has been a rare opportunity to “try something that might not work.” His project explores the possibilities of translating traditional block printing techniques to micron-scale 3D-printing in the MIT.nano labs.

Yang has taken advantage of the arts curriculum at MIT at an early stage in his academic career as an engineer; meanwhile, Ameen Kaleem started out as a filmmaker in New Delhi and is now pursuing a master’s degree in design engineering at Harvard GSD, cross-registered at MIT. 

Kaleem’s project models the process of abiogenesis (the evolution of living organisms from inorganic or inanimate substances) by bringing living moss into the MIT.nano cleanroom facilities to be examined at an atomic scale. “I was interested in the idea that, as a human being in the cleanroom, you are both the most sanitized version of yourself and the dirtiest thing in that space,” she reflects. “Drawing attention to the presence of organic life in the cleanroom is comparable to bringing art into spaces where it might not otherwise exist — a way of humanizing scientific and technological endeavors.”

Consciousness, immersion, and innovation

The students draw upon the legacies of landmark art-science initiatives — including international exhibitions such as “Cybernetic Serendipity” (London ICA, 1968), the “New Tendencies” series (Zagreb, 1961-73), and “Laboratorium” (Antwerp, 1999) — and take inspiration from the instructors’ own creative investigations of the inner workings of different knowledge systems. “In contemporary life, and at MIT in particular, we’re immersed in technology,” says Putrih. “It’s the nature of art to reveal that to us, so that we might see the implications of what we are producing and its potential impact.”

By fostering a mindset of imagination and criticality, combined with building the technical skills to address practical problems, “Creating Art, Thinking Science” seeks to create the conditions for a more expansive version of technological optimism; a culture of innovation in which social and environmental responsibility are seen as productive parameters for enriched creativity. The ripple effects of the class might be years in the making, but as Bulović observes while navigating the exhibition at MIT.nano, “The joy of the collaboration can be felt in the artworks.”

[jcmarchi]

Creative collisions: Crossing the art-science divide

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/creative-collisions-crossing-the-art-science-divide/

Creative collisions: Crossing the art-science divide

MIT has a rich history of productive collaboration between the arts and the sciences, anchored by the conviction that these two conventionally opposed ways of thinking can form a deeply generative symbiosis that serves to advance and humanize new technologies. 

This ethos was made tangible when the Bauhaus artist and educator György Kepes established the MIT Center for Advanced Visual Studies (CAVS) within the Department of Architecture in 1967. CAVS has since evolved into the Art, Culture, and Technology (ACT) program, which fosters close links to multiple other programs, centers, and labs at MIT. Class 4.373/4.374 (Creating Art, Thinking Science), open to undergraduates and master’s students of all disciplines as well as certain students from the Harvard Graduate School of Design (GSD), is one of the program’s most innovative offerings, proposing a model for how the relationship between art and science might play out at a time of exponential technological growth. 

Now in its third year, the class is supported by an Interdisciplinary Class Development Grant from the MIT Center for Art, Science and Technology (CAST) and draws upon the unparalleled resources of MIT.nano; an artist’s high-tech toolbox for investigating the hidden structures and beauty of our material universe.

Play video

Creating Art, Thinking Science Class at MIT Video: Arts at MIT

High ambitions and critical thinking

The class was initiated by Tobias Putrih, lecturer in ACT, and is taught with the assistance of Ardalan SadeghiKivi MArch ’23, and Aubrie James SM ’24. Central to the success of the class has been the collaboration with co-instructor Vladimir Bulović, the founding director of MIT.nano and Fariborz Maseeh Chair in Emerging Technology, who has positioned the facility as an open-access resource for the campus at large — including MIT’s community of artists. “Creating Art, Thinking Science” unfolds the 100,000 square feet of cleanroom and lab space within the Lisa T. Su Building, inviting participating students to take advantage of cutting-edge equipment for nanoscale visualization and fabrication; in the hands of artists, devices for discovering nanostructures and manipulating atoms become tools for rendering the invisible visible and deconstructing the dynamics of perception itself. 

The expansive goals of the class are tempered by an in-built criticality. “ACT has a unique position as an art program nested within a huge scientific institute — and the challenges of that partnership should not be underestimated,” reflects Putrih. “Science and art are wholly different knowledge systems with distinct historical perspectives. So, how do we communicate? How do we locate that middle ground, that third space?”

An evolving answer, tested and developed throughout the partnership between ACT and MIT.nano, involves a combination of attentive mentorship and sharing of artistic ideas, combined with access to advanced technological resources and hands-on practical training. 

“MIT.nano currently accommodates more than 1,200 individuals to do their work, across 250 different research groups,” says Bulović. “The fact that we count artists among those is a matter of pride for us. We’ve found that the work of our scientists and technologists is enhanced by having access to the language of art as a form of expression — equally, the way that artists express themselves can be stretched beyond what could previously be imagined, simply by having access to the tools and instruments at MIT.nano.”

A playground for experimentation

True to the spirit of the scientific method and artistic iteration, the class is envisioned as a work in progress — a series of propositions and prototypes for how dialogue between scientists and artists might work in practice. The outcomes of those experiments can now be seen installed in the first and second floor galleries at MIT.nano. As part of the facility’s five-year anniversary celebration, the class premiered an exhibition showcasing works created during previous years of “Creating Art, Thinking Science.” 

Visitors to the exhibition, “zero.zerozerozerozerozerozerozerozeroone” (named for the numerical notation for one nanometer), will encounter artworks ranging from a minimalist silicon wafer produced with two-photon polymerization (2PP) technology (“Obscured Invisibility,” 2021, Hyun Woo Park), to traces of an attempt to make vegetable soup in the cleanroom using equipment such as a cryostat, a fluorescing microscope, and a Micro-CT scanner (“May I Please Make You Some Soup?,” 2022, Simone Lasser). 

These works set a precedent for the artworks produced during the fall 2023 iteration of the class. For Ryan Yang, in his senior year studying electrical engineering and computer science at MIT, the chance to engage in open discussion and experimental making has been a rare opportunity to “try something that might not work.” His project explores the possibilities of translating traditional block printing techniques to micron-scale 3D-printing in the MIT.nano labs.

Yang has taken advantage of the arts curriculum at MIT at an early stage in his academic career as an engineer; meanwhile, Ameen Kaleem started out as a filmmaker in New Delhi and is now pursuing a master’s degree in design engineering at Harvard GSD, cross-registered at MIT. 

Kaleem’s project models the process of abiogenesis (the evolution of living organisms from inorganic or inanimate substances) by bringing living moss into the MIT.nano cleanroom facilities to be examined at an atomic scale. “I was interested in the idea that, as a human being in the cleanroom, you are both the most sanitized version of yourself and the dirtiest thing in that space,” she reflects. “Drawing attention to the presence of organic life in the cleanroom is comparable to bringing art into spaces where it might not otherwise exist — a way of humanizing scientific and technological endeavors.”

Consciousness, immersion, and innovation

The students draw upon the legacies of landmark art-science initiatives — including international exhibitions such as “Cybernetic Serendipity” (London ICA, 1968), the “New Tendencies” series (Zagreb, 1961-73), and “Laboratorium” (Antwerp, 1999) — and take inspiration from the instructors’ own creative investigations of the inner workings of different knowledge systems. “In contemporary life, and at MIT in particular, we’re immersed in technology,” says Putrih. “It’s the nature of art to reveal that to us, so that we might see the implications of what we are producing and its potential impact.”

By fostering a mindset of imagination and criticality, combined with building the technical skills to address practical problems, “Creating Art, Thinking Science” seeks to create the conditions for a more expansive version of technological optimism; a culture of innovation in which social and environmental responsibility are seen as productive parameters for enriched creativity. The ripple effects of the class might be years in the making, but as Bulović observes while navigating the exhibition at MIT.nano, “The joy of the collaboration can be felt in the artworks.”

[shooting-star-hearts]

We're gonna pretend like I didn't forget to post Halloween scenarios on the day of Halloween but personally fun is fun idc

so!!!! Childhood Halloween with the mainie shipiessss

Axelise!

On both sides of the coin- both didn't participate in Halloween at first, Annise's reason being that her father was too protective to let Annise go out to trick or treat, and for Axel, well, since Hell is where he was from, Hell had....a rather disturbing way of celebrating it(be it cult rituals, awakening evil spirits and sacrifices....it'd be a lie to say it freaked him out a bit, hence resenting both Halloween AND his birthday since he was born on that day).

Anyhow, once Axel got to Heaven things changed for the two. Annise's father had figured out how harmless Axel was for a demon so this resulted into letting his guard down in limiting Annise in things. Hence, she was able to celebrate Halloween for the first time with Axel!!! As well as it being Axel's first normal and fun Halloween and birthday

Annise thought up of fancy snazzy idea for costumes, esp since she was still curious about Axel's existence as a demon: being each other's bestowals, so Annise was a demon princess while Axel was an angel prince.

Cloubri!

As a kiddo Cloud was always teased for being a target of the dark army, and, sadly it kinda was true since the boy himself had bad feelings that he harbored from being outcasted. And for that m'boy wears a wolf costume to symbolize a lone wolf every year.

...so like, I doubt the story "little red riding hood" exists in the ff7verse but fear not for my bitchass made an ff7 version of that story where she's referred to as the "crimson caretaker." Why am I bringing this up? Cuz that's what Aubri would dress up as even though she knows very well that the costume itself is not a good disguise to blend in with monsters.

With that in mind, Cloud notices that and realize she's not protected, he then spending the rest of the night by her side while going tussle or treat'ing. When he asks why she isn't dressed scarier, she then answers that the autumn harvest should be spent enjoying it rather than living in fear over the dark army, so staying happy and having fun wouldn't allow the monsters to attack her.

From that point on whenever the two of them went out for the pumpkin fest, Cloud always wonders if he was protecting her or was protecting him from his own troubles that make him vulnerable.

And since Cloud chooses tussle the majority of the time, Aubri has to share him her candy because he doesn't have as much as her by the end of the night ;;

[redpensandgreenarrows]

Yay Day 2!! I have no fic written for day 2 yet, but I have ideas... let's see if I have time to get to it today.

Lake Headcanons:

Not many of the Bridgerton family have seen/visited My Cottage before Benedict met Sophie, and if they have been there it's never been the right season or it's not the right occasion to invite them for swim in the lake. It's been Ben's personal secret until Sophie comes into his life

Now that Ben and Sophie are married, Benedict can't wait to have family visit, and stay so they can all enjoy the lake together - just like they would at the lake at Aubry Hall

Upon their return to My Cottage after getting married, it only takes a few days for Benedict to sweet talk Sophie into joining him for a late night dip in the lake. Once Sophie gets into the water, Ben pulls her close and the make out like a newly engaged couple hiding from their chaperones. Very little swimming is done and it ends up being the best foreplay because Sophie climbs Ben like a tree once their back at the Cottage.

Sophie loves picnicking at the lake when she is pregnant, it soothes her. (All of their children are water babies.)

Scenes where I have A MIGHTY NEED:

I need Benophie banter. NEED. IT. Some of the best parts of their story was where Ben had Sophie swooning one minute, and then wanting to chuck items at his head the next. Ben loves a woman who challenges him, and meets him head on.

"Let me be your anchor." It's gotta be there.

The scene where Benedict has Sophie "cornered" in the Bruton St. House garden, and before he leaves he tell Sophie the one thing she has to do is to keep smiling once he leaves. And that he will know if she does. Ugh! The FEELS!

Gimme a bathtub sene. (Outlander did it.)

Non-book canon scenes: - I've written about this scenario is another post a few years ago, but: GIMME A CINDERELLA-REFERENCING SHOE SCENE, YOU COWARDS. - Make Genevieve the Fairy Godmother... oh! A light bulb just went off. I may write up another post about this.... - I need BOTH Mama Bridgerton and Lady Danbury to be aware of/observe the heavy UST Ben and Sophie have for each other, and Ben's poorly hidden attempts to catch Sophie one-on-one. And the subtly encourage it/become this detective duo because they know Sophie is more than who she says she is.

Benophie week day 2

So we all know how important the Lake is in the book and we all agree that it’s a key moment for our favourite couple…

So today’s discussion is two part…

Firstly… what headcanons do you have that surround the lake and the Benophie family…

Secondly: what other scenes in the book do you think are an absolute MUST for their season?

Again I’ll start:

For headcanons:

The staff at My Cottage don’t go down the lake to summon Mr and Mrs Bridgerton if they are down there alone… they’ve all seen their master and mistress in nothing at all too many times so Mr Crabtree installs a bell not too far away that they ring but only when it’s urgent or time for food.

It’s the place they take their children regularly and family when they come to visit. It’s where they have picnics and have their own Pall Mall set… and much like the lake at Aubrey Hall… it’s full of Pall Mall balls.

Key scenes:

It’s not so much a NEED but a Want…

Sophie leaving and talking to Violet. I want to see that scene played out as I think it would totally break our hearts but would be beautiful but to see Sophie thanking Violet, for accepting her for the first time in her life. Making her part of the family… let’s see some proper angsty heart breaking scenes.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Hiiiiii Aubrie I saw ur post and I js wanted to say that I hope u feel better soon !! :(( plsplspls don’t worry abt requests too much!! Ur health and happiness comes first and we can always wait <33 as for rambles :3 id love to hear if u have any for Jeff !! He’s best boy and ik u like him so <33 no pressure at all !!

Thank you very much, I appreciate it a whole lot <3 :)))

As for some Jeff rambles listen okay this one popped into my head recently, but like Jeff has to always be the Strong Dependable ManTM because he likes being useful, and I’m just imagining him constantly trying to be the mansion’s mechanic and handyman. The second a sink or a toilet or a stove or just any sort of indoor thing stops working, he’s immediately like “I’ll fix it 😤😤😤” and I feel like 8 or 9 times out of 10 he does end up fixing things. I feel like he tries to compete with Tim over this because Tim is also a handyman but Jeff’s perpetual inner state of “I need to prove I can be useful” just makes him try to be the one to do it.

Also??? I totally think Jeff is a car guy. I feel like he really likes cars and working on them, and he’s definitely the lone car guy in the mansion that fixes anything if something goes wrong with a car. I feel like Slender has some old cars laying around the mansion and Jeff just goes out there and tinkers with them and tries to restore them. I dunno man Jeff just greased up and working on cars is something I didn’t realize I needed :p But I do genuinely think he enjoys it.

Next one is Big Brother JeffTM but Sally loves giving makeovers to everyone whenever she invites them to tea parties, and I feel like whenever she invites the girls they do her makeup for her and it makes her really happy, and listen, I can totally see Jeff learning how to do makeup so when the girls aren’t around he can do her makeup for her and it makes her SO excited and the two of them will just sit up there in princess dresses doing each other’s makeup and drinking tea. I just feel like Jeff has such strong big brother vibes and I can see him doting on Sally all the time. I think Jeff is definitely one of Sally’s safe choices amongst the men in the mansion and I feel like she pesters him all the time and he pesters her back and takes good care of her.

Also, all of that applies to if he has a partner too. You complain to him that something in your house isn’t working, or your speaker isn’t working anymore, or your car has been having troubles lately and needs stuff replaced, this man will haul ass to get over there and help you. The makeup stuff applies too, if you ever want to just be silly and do each other’s makeup for fun he will sit there and try so hard to do your makeup really nicely, and he’ll let you do literally anything you want to his face with makeup because he just has fun watching you enjoy yourself and it makes him really happy.

[jxnjungkook]

have your cake and eat it too

[milkxtea666]

🖤A Little Hate🖤

Ch. 2 Frustration

Chapter 1

Pairing: Eddie Munson x (fem) Reader

Summary: As if being the new kid isn't hard as is, having one month of school, no friends, joining a club at the wrong time, making embarrassing first impressions, and being homesick makes it harder. So here to making new friends (and enemies)! It just gets more frustrating as it goes.

W/C: 4.8k

Warning: This is going to take place after season 4! So let's pretend all is well, Eddie didn't die, or that the "earthquake" was that bad. This is also gonna be a slow burn and an enemies to lovers! In addition, this chapter is going to be frustrating, hence the title, it's gonna make you scream OMG JUST SAY SORRY ITS SO EASY, so.... yeah teehee TW: SLIGHT GORE MENTION

A/N: remember i post first on AO3! plz give a kudos there if u can!! @/ kth666

♬♩♪♩༶•┈┈🖤┈♛ ♛┈🖤┈┈•༶♬♩♪♩

The bell rang as soon as I sat down on my seat. Debs looked up at me and gave me a quick smile before continuing what I would assume was last minute homework. Good, she didn’t talk to me; although I felt better from yesterday, I still can’t help but feel betrayed by her.

Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life, I don’t know if I made it clear enough. After the embarrassing incident with my neighbor I did the sketch that I had to do, repressing all the memories in the presses. Repressing my embarrassing memories didn't work as well as I planned to, but at least I finished the sketch -it was half assed but I couldn’t care less-. Now, here comes the part that I’m dreading; I have to go to the Hellfire Club to paint. Not only will my reputation be damaged if I am seen there, but I will also have to confront my neighbor. I just know that he’s the type of guy to bring up embarrassing stuff from the past, he’s going to tease me. If worse comes to worse I guess I’ll have to report him for bullying. Check-mate.

Brunch time rolled around and I made my way to the club room. Walking towards me was Aubrey, she gave me a wide smile and waved at me.

“Y/N!” She called. I gave her a small smile and stopped to talk to her.

“Hey Aubry, what’s up?” I asked politely.

“I wanted to tell you that you’ll have to spend your brunch and lunch at your club room until you finish your painting. I don’t think I told you that yesterday.” She informed me. You have to be kidding me, I was already dreading going there for brunch, now I have to go there for lunch too?

“Is it mandatory?” I asked with slight dread in my tone.

“Well, no, but it is best to be there two times a day in order to be able to finish by the end of the month. However, if you’re busy at brunch or lunch you can always work on it before or after school!” She in a nice voice that almost sounded fake; but who am I to say that, I do the same thing. Then someone called for Aubrey and just like that she left.

Is it too late to tell mother that I don’t want to move after all?

I sighed and continued to the club room, my new hangout spot apparently, for the rest of the year. I walked up to the door and knocked, no one answered. I opened it and took a peek inside the room, it was empty. Hell yes, no one to confront! I made my way inside and turned on the lights and the room was better lit than it was yesterday. I looked around the room more closely since yesterday I didn't really get a good look at it. The table in the middle had little figurines and weird looking dice spread out. At the end of the table was a chair that looked like a throne, now what in the world even is this? I took a closer look at one of the figurines at the end of the table, it looked like a monster of sorts. I don’t know why I was intrigued by it so much but I went to pick it up to get an even closer look at it. Just as I was about to touch it I felt someone behind me, towering over me.

“What are you doing?” a familiar voice asked. Don’t tell me it’s him. I slowly turned around and yep, it was him. “Most importantly, why are you touching Lord Vecna?”

“Sorry,” I simply said with a pissed off tone “I just wanted a closer look. Most importantly, why are you sneaking up on someone? Don’t you know that's rude?”

“Damn,” he said and put both his hands up “my bad.”

“I am here to paint the door, now if you’ll excuse me.” I said and walked past him to the door. I put my bag down and took out all my supplies. I’ll just ignore him because now he’s actually getting on my nerves, and I don’t want to give him the attention he's asking for. Is this mean of me? Yes, but then again who am I trying to impress, plus it’s not like I am actually being mean to him to his face.

“Alright, I can’t help but think that we got off the wrong foot.” He said and clapped.

“Ya think?” I responded with my back still turned to him. I took out a pencil and started to draw my outline on the door because right now, I want to focus on the painting, and not making small talk.

“Wow, no yeah, we definitely got off on the wrong foot.” he said I can tell from his voice that he was becoming fed up. I shrugged my shoulders and continued to draw. “Eddie,” he then said. I looked over my shoulders and saw him play with the rings on his fingers “My name’s Eddie, just thought you should know.” And with that he took a seat at the table and started to write something.

I have to admit, I do feel a little bit bad for being mean. But at this point, my ego was in the way of making things right, and I was also emotionally exhausted, I don’t have the energy to express my feelings to anyone. I went back to drawing and got lost in my own thoughts. The room was completely silent, all you could hear was the scribbles Eddie and I were making.

Soon enough the bell rang, I packed up my things and took one final look at what I got done. So far the dragon’s outline was complete. It turned out pretty good considering that I am half-assing this. I put on my backpack and opened the door to leave, I took a glance at the table and saw Eddie still writing, completely focused on his work. I then walked out of the room and made my way to my class.

Surprisingly my day was going somewhat smoothly. Debs didn’t really talk to me, nor did anyone else. Which is a good thing, don't get me wrong. The only part of my day that is not going smoothly is when I have to go to the club room, but what can you do? So long as I don’t talk to anyone, especially Eddie, then I should be good.

I spoke too soon.

As the end of my math class was approaching, the teacher let us have some free time before lunch. I took this time to unwind and relax. So, I took out my walkman and headphones and started to listen to some Iron Maiden. I put my head down to rest for a little before I have to go back to hell, no, HellFire. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw the kid beside me give me a small smile. I took off my headphones and smiled back. He looked nice, he had short light brown hair, freckles, and a red sleeveless flannel. I hope he doesn’t fake me out just like Debs did.

“Hey, I’m Gareth.” He said politely.

“I’m Y/N.” I said back. He looked at my walkman that was placed at the corner of my desk and pointed at it.

“You’re into Iron Maiden?” He asked, almost not believing that I am actually listening to it. What did he expect? That I just have the tape and not enjoy it?

“Oh, um yeah! They’re one of my favorites.” I replied with slight enthusiasm.

“That's sick! Finally, someone else that listens to them too,” He said as he leaned back into his chair. He looked back at me and asked me, “So, do you listen to other bands like that?”

“I do!” Am I finally making an actual friend? A friend that is actually interested in me, and not just using me for a club? “I also like Metallica, DIO, Pantera, and W.A.S.P. Just to name a few.” I rambled. The smile on Gareth’s face only grew, but then he looked confused.

“You don’t look like the type of person to listen to that type of music.” he smirked. I playfully roll my eyes and give a small chuckle.

“Yeah, I know.” I responded.

“Hey, do you wanna have lunch with my friends tomorrow? They also like that kind of music. We’re also in a band. I think we’ll get along well.” Gareth offered. My eyes widened, I was in awe.

“Really? I’d love to!”

“Cool!”

The bell rang right after and we started to pack up our stuff. I got up and threw my bag over my shoulder.

“See you tomorrow.” Gareth said.

“See ya.” I smiled.

We parted ways and I made my way to the club room. That interaction really lifted my spirits, I was actually looking forward to tomorrow instead of dreading it. But then the door to the HellFire club was in front of me and my mood dropped again. I took a deep breath to prepare for anything that might happen, then again I planned to shut the world out and only focus on the painting. I opened the door to come in and saw Eddie sitting on the throne, his hands were clasped together in front of him, and he wore a smirk on his face.

“Welcome back.” He said. I didn't give him a response, I simply looked at him, then turned my attention to the door. I put my stuff down and took out the paints I’ll need. I heard him sigh and rustle. Sure, the silent treatment is brutal but I was not going to let him get the satisfaction of teasing me. As I started to paint I heard him get up and walk to me.

“I was being nice and gave you a warm welcome.” He said sternly. I shrugged in response. “Why are you ignoring me?” I stayed silent. Maybe it’s because I’ve had nothing but negative impressions of him.

“Is it something I did? Something I said?” Eddie sounded genuinely concerned, I almost wanted to explain everything; but I know that I’ll end up saying something wrong. He was now standing at my side and looking down at me. I looked up at him and to my surprise he looked apologetic. His big doe eyes were glossy and full of worry.

“If it is because of me I’m very sorry. I mean it.” He said, his voice soft and gentle. I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know what to say, I wanted to say something to him. I wanted to tell him that it was all my fault, that he didn’t do anything wrong; I was just being a bitch. But I didn’t know how to word it.

Eddie gave me a look of defeat and looked away. I should have told him the truth, but I couldn’t move or say anything. He reached for the door and walked out. I think he finally gave up on me.

Now it was just me alone in the room. All I could think about was what I could have done to prevent all this from happening. I was full of regret and guilt. Now I actually have to apologize to him no matter what. Next time I see him I’ll do it for sure.

But for now, I have paint that is on the brink of drying. I’ll think of my apology while I paint.

This is all my fault.

—--------

I propped my bike up against my trailer and headed inside. I went to my room, put my stuff down and collapsed on my bed. I was exhausted. This day was an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I was happy because I made a new friend, and the next I was feeling immense guilt. The issue was that this could have all been avoided if I expressed my feelings, but it is so hard to do so. I need to write down in detail all my feelings so when it comes to explaining myself I’ll tell the truth and give my reasons. I got up from my bed and took out a piece of paper and pen. I sat back down at my bed and used a textbook as a hard surface, and began writing.

After a while I filled up the whole page and felt like I just regurgitated everything, it felt therapeutic. I looked over the paper to check for any mistakes, or to see if I left out anything. It looked good to me so I folded it up and put it in my bag. As soon as I did I heard my mother open the door. I walked out to greet her.

“Hi mummy.” I said and hugged her.

“Hi darling, how was school?” she asked as she kissed the top of my head.

“It was alright, I couldn’t help but feel homesick.” I shrugged.

“Oh baby,” my mother sympathized. “I know how you feel. But just remember, it’s only for a month. Before you know it you’ll go back to California for university, and you’ll only have to come back here for vacations.”

I nodded in response, but still hated the fact that I’ll still have to come back.

“Oh mummy, by the way, Tomorrow I have to stay after school because of the art club.” I informed.

“How late are you going to stay? Do I need to pick you up?” She asked

“I’m not sure, but it’s okay, I can take myself home.”

“If you’re going to stay late I don’t want you to come home by yourself.”

“I’ll be fine mummy. I’ll head back as soon as the sun sets, I’ll make sure of it.”

“If you say so. Now have you eaten? Wanna go out and grab some pizza?” Mother offered. My face lit up in excitement.

“Yes, let's go!” I replied. We headed out the trailer and made our way to the car. As I opened the door I saw Eddie’s van pull up in his driveway. He got out quickly and looked back at me. We locked eyes for a moment. Both our faces showed no emotion, he was the first to turn away and he walked into his trailer.

“Do you know him, Y/N?” Mother asked.

“Not really,” I responded and got in the car. “I’ve just bumped into him a few times.” Mother got inside the car and started it.

“Just be careful who you hang out around, okay?” She asked,

“Okay.” Mother started the car and we were off.

—-------

Today was a new day. A day in which everything can go well, or horrible. I have so much to do; I need to apologize to Eddie, eat lunch with a group of people I don’t even know, and I have to stay after school. It is going to be a miracle if I make it to the end of the day sane.

I got out of my bed and freshened up. I brushed my hair and let it down for the day. My outfit for the day was planned; I am going to wear my Black Sabbath shirt that I have hidden. But for safety I am going to wear a flannel over it so mother doesn’t see it. I finished getting ready and went to the kitchen to get breakfast. Mother came into the kitchen and served herself coffee.

“Morning.” I said and served myself cereal.

“Good morning sweetie.” Mother responded. It was a calm morning, we didn’t really converse, but not in a bad way. I finished my food and put my bowl in the sink. As I rolled up my sleeves to wash my bowl I looked out the kitchen window and saw a small car go into Eddie’s driveway. I saw the same man get out of the car; I can only assume that he’s Eddie’s dad. As the man opened the door to go in the trailer, Eddie was leaving. They gave each other a quick hug before departing ways. Eddie then got in his van, I could right away hear the loud music he was blasting. I looked down to wash my dishes and when I looked back up he was gone.

I headed to school and prepared myself for this eventful day. I arrived at school and headed right away to homeroom. Debs just looked up at me with a smile and went back to her work again, So is she just not going to talk to me again? Did she really just use me? Whatever, I already knew this was coming; so I paid no mind to it. My first classes flew by fast and it was brunch time before I knew it.

My heart was beating fast, I was nervous for this confrontation I’ll have with Eddie. If I could, I would continue with the silent treatment. But, I know that that would be incredibly immature of me. I had to swallow my pride and apologize.

I was at the room already and opened the door. I expected Eddie to be inside already but the room was empty, the lights were off too. I turned on the lights and looked around the room to make sure that it was empty. It was. I sighed in relief and put my stuff down. I once again got out my supplies and started to paint.

As I painted I started to calm down. The more painting I was doing the more prepared I was to apologize. I had a fine line I needed to paint so all of my focus was on that, and not the confrontation. I inched closer to the door to get that precise line, then the door swung open and hit me right on my nose. I fell back and landed on my butt.

“Ow! What the fuck?” I grunted in pain. I held my hand over my nose to soothe it. I looked up to see who did this, and it was none other than Eddie. His face was full of shock, right away he kneeled next to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“I am so sorry,” he said in a panic, “I didn’t mean to. Are you okay? Does it hurt?”

“No yeah I’m totally fine,” I replied sarcastically. I took my hand away from my nose and saw blood on it. I showed him my bloody hand and rolled my eyes, “Do I look okay?”

“Shit, we got to get you to the nurse’s office now.” he said as he got up. He was about to help me up but I held my ground. There is no way in hell I am going to be seen with him, especially not like this. Not only will my reputation be even more ruined, but people will think that he probably beat me up. It’s not only for my sake, but his too.

“No!” I stated, I wiped my nose with my clean hand and got up, “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you kidding me?” he said in disbelief, “You could have a broken nose, let’s just go to the nurse.”

“If it was a broken nose I would be in agonizing pain.” I said. I walked over to the table and pulled out a chair to sit on, “Just give me a moment for the bleeding to stop.” I was trying to remain calm even though this was the third incident I’ve had with him, I was beyond embarrassed at this point.

“Okay fine, just,” he said and went to the end of the room and grabbed some tissues “let me try to help at least.” He came back and handed me tissues. I looked up at him and his eyes were full of worry. What is it with his eyes? They are just so captivating.

“Thanks.” I simply said as I took the tissues. I wiped some of the blood off and sighed.

“Again, I’m really sorry.” He said.

“It’s fine.” I replied. But it wasn’t fine, it hurt really bad, I had to hold in my tears so I wouldn't cry in front of him again. He then took his hand and lifted up my chin, he looked closely at my nose. The cold metal of his rings almost felt burning. I can’t believe that I could feel myself blushing, this was not the right time. I avoided eye contact because I don’t know how I’ll react. But I could still see how closely he was looking at me.

“Okay, you’re right, it doesn’t look broken.” He said. I moved my head away from his hand and placed a tissue under my nostril.

“Told you.” I said and rolled my eyes. I sunk into the chair to try and calm myself from completely going off on him. He pulled a chair out and sat next to me. Eddie is a strange guy, more so, Eddie carries strange energy. It shouldn’t be normal to have incidents in front of him every time we meet.

Eddie ran through his hair and let out a sigh, “I guess there's no chance in me redeeming myself, huh?” He said and looked at me with a defeated smile. All I could do in response was just stare deeply into his eyes. I had so much to say, but I couldn’t bring myself to say something. I hated having the feeling of mixed emotions; the angry part of me wants to tell him to fuck off, while the reasonable part of me wanted to give him the letter I wrote to avoid any other misunderstandings.

“I know how you feel,” he said out of nowhere. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow, because there is no way he knows how I am feeling at this moment, “regarding the pain, injury? Whatever it is, I had a pretty wicked accident a month ago. And I am in no way trying to one up you, buuut,” he got up suddenly and lifted his shirt a tad bit, revealing part of a huge scar to the side of his bellybutton. It was nasty, still red because it was recent, and it had what I could assume were teeth marks. “I think that my injury is a tad more hardcore.” he smirked.

“I don’t think that we should compete over injuries like this.” I said quietly, still in shock over what I was seeing on his body. “What um, what happened, if I can know.” I looked away from his scar and started fidgeting with my fingers. He started to walk around and kick his feet in the process.

“Well, it’s a long story but-”

“It’s okay, I wanna hear it.” I interrupted. I was actually interested but I also wanted to make up for the way I seemed uninterested in him.

“Wow, okay then.” He said in surprise, he shoved his hand into the pockets of his pants, looked back at me and smiled. “Well, my friends and I were in quite a bit of a pickle during the huge earthquake that happened here. Surely you heard of it, right?” he looked back at me and I nodded my head in response. Because of that I almost didn’t move here; but because of the quick repairs to the city, mother felt comfortable enough to move.

“So basically,” he continued, “my friends were stuck and they needed a distraction. So being the hero I am, I played this epic song so the um, bats can come to me instead of my friends. It worked, obviously. But the bats were not only attracted to the song, they were also drawn to me.” He took a pause and winced at the memory. “I’m just lucky that my friends were there to save me in time, or else I would have been dead meat.”

“Shit man, I’m sorry.” I said softly, I didn’t really know what else to say. This would be a perfect time to apologize to him but the words would not come out.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m all good now-”

“No, I’m sorry about everything, like, the way I’ve been treating you, and giving you the cold shoulder. It’s just that I..”

“You what?” he said, finishing my sentence. I looked at him and got lost in his eyes again, but only for a brief moment before I realized what I was doing.

“I, I gotta go.” I said and rushed out of the room.

Okay, what the actual fuck is wrong with me? Why am I being like this? If I was viewing myself from the third person I would smack myself across the face to knock some sense into me. Why can I not just say what I need to say before I ruin everything. There is nothing stopping me from saying what needs to be said, yet, I just can’t. And like, why? It’s not like as if I have a crush…on him…or something.

Crap.

—--------

Soon enough lunch time rolled around. Hopefully these new people will help me take my mind off of things. I needed to stop thinking about Eddie, he was the only thing on my mind, no wait, that’s not what I meant. I mean, the only thing on my mind has been our unlucky interactions lately. I think it’s getting the best of me at this point.

This is my first time going to the cafeteria, I’ve only been eating my lunch in the club room. As soon as I opened the door there was chaos. Everyone was rowdy, it was filled with many cliques. But it wasn’t hard to find the clique I was looking for. I could right away see Gareth’s fluffy hair, and so I walked up to his table and tapped on his shoulder.

“Hey.” I said with a smile.

“Hey! You made it! Here, sit next to me, I have to introduce you to the gang.” He said and scooted over so I had space to sit. I put my lunch down first and then sat down, smiling at everyone while doing it.

“Guys, so this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Jeff, Lucas and…” he pointed at the other two boys at the table. Jeff was wearing a Black Sabath shirt and Lucas was wearing a bomber jacket that belonged to the basketball team; they both gave me a smile. “Wait, where are the rest?” Gareth asked and looked around.

“Oh,” Lucas said “they’ll be here soon. Munson wanted them to help him with something.”

“Ah, alright, cool.” Gareth replied. We began eating and making small talk, it was really nice. We have a lot in common and I actually felt comfortable around them. Our conversation was soon interrupted by the cafeteria doors bursting open.

“Finally, they’re here!” Jeff said and waved at them. I looked back to see who it was and it was none other than Eddie, and those two kids I met first: Mike and Dustin. At this point I was numb, there was too much anger in me to do anything. So I did the only thing I had the energy to do: sit in silence and avoid as much interaction with him as possible.

Eddie stood behind me as my back was facing the entrance from where they came from. I could feel him tower over me, I sat still, hoping that he doesn’t recognize me, even though he probably does.

“What is she doing here?” Eddie simply said, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. It’s almost as if he hates me, I completely understand if he does though.

“Oh Eddie! This is Y/N. She’s in one of my classes and I think she’ll get along with us.” Gareth said with a beaming smile. Shit, I felt so bad.

“Doubt it.” Eddie said and walked to his seat at the end of the table “Why didn’t you tell me beforehand? You know how I feel about newcomers, especially when they’re posers-” I stood up loudly from my seat and glared at him, I had so much to say to him. How could he do this? Just when we slightly improved our relationship, he went ahead and pissed me off even more. Okay, I’m gonna say it, all of it.

“Fuck you.” I said, looking him straight in the eyes,

“Sorry Gareth, I’ll be off. See you in class.” I got all my things and ran away from my problem yet again. But this was far from over, I still had to see them after school for the art club. Whatever, if he wants to be mean like that then by all means, he can go ahead, two can play at that game

[cntrpt]

I legit have been trying to comment on your last post about the Black Widow series and Scarlett producing, but tumblr is being a jerk and won’t post my comment!?!? So if you get like ten notifications from me later on of the same comment, I’m sorry 😅😅 I may have clicked the Reply button multiple times. Anyways, here’s what I was trying to say:

Don’t give me hope 🥺🥺🥺 I will gladly reactivate my disney+ for this and only this series! And I demand that Nat comes back!! Though I also did just hear that Aubry Plaza might be cast in the Agatha series so I have more than one reason to subscribe again LOL Me rn: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Oh no, I hope it's only a problem with that one post, from what I know it doesn't seem like either me or you are shadowbanned, so maybe it's just some mysterious temporary Tumblr's doing

But I completely agree, I heard about Aubrey Plaza too and now I'm really curious about that Agatha series👀

For the possible insight on the Red Room we can only hope, I am honestly obsessed with the more dark/serious/realistic side of things that Natasha's past could bring to Marvel as a whole, if it turns out to be not only a rumor I'll never shut up about it

Maybe if you let them know that you'd reactivate your D+ account for it, they will actually go through with that and make it happen

[choerrys]

there was this girl in middle & high school that was like.. in the most dramatic way my ENEMY like we hated eachother and her and my friend were besties so it was a whole thing. but my friend and i knew she had a 5h fan twt cause they were like harmonizers or whatever together but we could never ever find it until one day this tweet blew up cause this camila cabello fan posted herself talking and it sounded just like camila and i was listening to it and i was like well hold on.. cause it was THIS FUCKING BITCH. so i’m like intensely studying her page to figure out if it was really her. well come to find out she was using MY NAME as her little secret stan twt identity i was HORRIFIED. but it was spelled different so i was like well maybe im being dramatic and its like a fully diff name but i followed the bitch and months later someone got her a video of camila saying hi and its literally just her saying “hi aubri” so moral of the story is i had my identity stolen and now somewhere on my old phone theres a video of camila saying hi to me