#and at the same time i hate looking back on my art accounts (both ig and here) because it just. doesn't align with what i wanna do

[sofastuffing]

i have a headache

[whatiwillsay]

kaylor oomfs avert your eyes 😞

i get asked from time to time “why don’t you like kaylor, why don’t you like karlie, why do you think kaylor isn’t together? why aren’t you and ttb married yet?” and i think it’s high time i centralize my thoughts and receipts on all of that in a little timeline of shady things karlie has done to taylor that have made me wary of kaylor/karlie/that whole situation.  don’t read if you stan kaylor this isn’t for you (unless you know you’re interested in the truth.)

first things first, i do think something romantic happened between kaylor go read @swiftiesleuth‘s realistic kay timeline for what i (generally) think happened between them.

but long story short - i think joshlie is real, i think they weren’t all that serious at the beginning, she famously didn’t meet his family for years, he didn’t take her to work events for a long time, so there’s room for her to have a fling with taylor even though we ended up with a real joshlie endgame.

taylor’s music and art supports this theory - in the wd mv she paints herself as the other woman, on rep she sings of secret sexy sex with her best friend that drives her crazy, in cruel summer she sings of a miserable, secret, and toxic situation with a person who rejects her love, in illicit affairs and august again she is the other woman - the art matches up.  she also sings about her sunshine being gone on lover, and eclipsed on folklore. we have good clues in taylor’s artistic expression.

taylor’s given interviews about some of these karlie songs - she said cruel summer was about the start to a “doomed” relationship and look at what she said about august:

“It kind of explores the idea of the undefined relationship. As humans, we're all encouraged to just be cool and just let it happen, and don't ask what the relationship is — Are we exclusive? But if you are chill about it, especially when you're young, you learn the very hard lesson that if you don't define something, oftentimes they can gaslight you into thinking it was nothing at all, and that it never happened. And how do you mourn the loss of something once it ends, if you're being made to believe that it never happened at all?”

if joshlie is real which i think they are that 100% sounds like taylor having to process being gaslit by karlie while she cheats on josh with her.

so why do i think joshlie is real?

-  josh has no credible gay rumors that didn’t originate on gaylor tumblr: he has old ex gfs that came before karlie, harvard message boards gossiped about him and didn’t like him but never said that he was gay, in fact one of the complaints josh’s schoolmates had about him was that he got special treatment for her girlfriend at parties.

-  as stated before taylor’s art suggests she’s been the other woman with someone in her life recently.  if josh and karlie are beards then what is the affair? why is taylor the other woman so often all of a sudden?

-  i’ve spoken to someone with a mutual friend with the kushners - grain of salt of course, i know you can only trust stuff you hear from me with no proof so much, but i do absolutely trust this person and they say - no way in hell is joshlie fake, no way in hell is josh gay, no way in hell is karlie having taylor’s baby.  also karlie absolutely has moved down to miami with josh.  i’m sure we’ll see her in nyc and la from time to time but she is living in miami now.

-  vicky ward, who is a real investigative journalist not some unhinged person on tumblr, wrote a tell all about the kushners.  she uncovered gay rumors about josh’s father and josh’s brother but not josh.  she had actual sources and was legitimately digging up tons of dirt on these people and not a word about josh being gay or joshlie being fake.

-  yes karlie did convert to judaism.  it’s really offensive to suggest she didn’t.  of course she always could have done it for personal reasons but occam’s razor dictates she did it for josh i don’t know what else to tell you 🤷‍♀️

-  also just vibes.  karlie writes him love notes and leaves them with his breakfast.  they make playlists for one another.  if the kushners weren’t so heinous they’d be cute.

so in the joshlie is real world view i inhabit, i don’t stan kaylor the same way i do swiftgron because i don’t think kaylor was ever a committed monogamous relationship.  important and impactful on taylor’s life? absolutely.  inspired some amazing music? 100%. but was is true and tragic love that drives me insane and makes me feral?  no.  i don’t believe so.  is it still an interesting and iconic ship? yes!  but i don’t stan because it wasn’t like...true love or gay shit like that.

so let’s talk about karlie’s screwups that 1. assure me kaylor is not together and 2. make me have no desire to stan karlie/kaylor.

1.  after the kimye drama (something that deeply traumatized taylor we now know thanks to miss americana) karlie said she was sure kim was a lovely person 😭 now i know she walked it back and tweeted she and taylor had one another’s backs. i know karlie was just trying to be diplomatic.  but come on...if someone did what kim did to taylor to my lover or hell even just my friend i would say “fuck that clout chasing fame whore” bottom line.  c’mon guys.  have higher standards for your otp.

karlie also has vibed with kim on IG about her adidasas line.  recently!  yes i know she’s just promoting her brand but c’mon.  taylor still hates kim, their drama got rehashed in march 2020 and just 6 months later kim n karlie are bestie-ing around on ig.

2.  ALL the fucking masters drama and scooter fucking braun

-  not long at all after the masters heist karlie was palling around with scooter on a yacht like come on the only other thing taylor is equally as traumatized over as the kimye drama is the master’s heist.  why is karlie hanging out with him and partying with him at this time?

-  karlie liked a tweet completely incinerating taylor (in a gross and unfair/inaccurate way) regarding the masters heist.  she unliked it but still.  why was she even looking at that shit.

-  and yeah we gotta talk about perez.  so perez hilton (who is a scumbag and gross but sometimes does have legitimate tea) posted a video saying that karlie and taylor were no longer friends because karlie betrayed taylor to scooter.  now if that were all there was to it, it’d be dumb gossip.  but a taylor fan account posted the video to twitter ashley avignone and claire winter both liked the tweet.  ashley liked two tweets about it.  perez proceeded to tweet that since two of taylor’s oldest and truest friends liked the tweets it must mean he was correct and neither of the girls unliked the tweets.  ashley and claire are low key people, not celebs, not pawns in a “fued narrative”, just long time and loyal friends of taylor’s.  they liked the tweet, imo, because there’s some truth to it.

-  that brings me to spencer pratt.  spencer is a reality star and super swiftie/huge fan of taylor’s.  he despises karlie.  he’s tweeted negatively about her and he also had perez onto his podcast to talk about the drama between karlie and taylor.  taylor herself sent him a cardigan.  do you really think taylor is going to allow a cardigan to go out to the guy who’s dragging her girlfriend or bestie? i don’t think so.  receipts on perez and spencer here.

3.  karlie posted for hailey fucking beiber’s bday instead of taylor’s and hailey hates taylor 🤢🤢🤢

4.  karlie married into a fascist family that is associated with the trumps.  like how can you expect me to stan?  trump is a fucking criminal evil piece of shit.  i know karlie isn’t like him (probably) but it’s still awful.  kimby even goes around liking ivanka’s ig posts like give me a fucking break 😭.

in summation, you can disagree w me all you like, you can ship kaylor all you like, but if you’re of sound mind i don’t think you can look at the facts in this post and think i’m misguided for not being a kaylor/karlie stan.  and you can’t blame me for thinking if you spend a lot of time obsessing over that ship you may not really be that big a fan of taylor’s.  and if you’re spending a lot of time leading lgbt kids on to think they’re going to get a kaylor end game when all the objective facts of the case suggest that that’s never going to happen you might need to reevaluate but at the very least you certainly can’t press me for not doing all that.

[cosmiclatte28]

Butterflies and Brushes (YuTae)

a/n : this is a promise I made for the wonderful IG account yutae.0126

warning : Slight suggestive content, but nothing explicit (or yeah?) Romance, bxb proceeed to masterlist if you’re not comfortable and pic something else. Romance, fluff, flirty!yuta and cold prince! Taeyong

ARTSCHOOL AU! nude panting (nothing explicit though, safe to read for anyone mature enough)

My first Yuta x Taeyong or Taeyong x Yuta fic and I am excited to see how this goes!!

Here we goo!!! 

Oh yeah I attach a picture for the poses below because I am afraid the explanation is not enough and sorry for my failed attempt to draw. (I blotted it okay and failed still )

Every campus has that one hot guy everyone is afraid to approach and another guy with the total opposite appeal.

Well the same thing happens in this top college of visual arts, not only do they have talented artist in process of making visual arts, the students themselves have top visual points.

Meet Lee Taeyong, the campus' Aphrodite with a stoic face and a piercing gaze. Rumor has it, his beauty comes from the way he keeps his face poker whenever he walks around the campus. Though he rarely smiles, everyone believes he has his own reasons for being that. Afterall, no one dares messes up with Taeyong, not after the famous incident where he punched a bully so hard in the face after dissing a freshman's work of art. That freshman is famous here, he's called Ten. A sweet guy from Thai who draws amazing realistic drawings.

Moving on from the coldest guy, we have the warmest guy who always smiles. He wins the “healing smile fairy" nickname thanks to his gummy smile.

If Taeyong is the Aphrodite here, Yuta is Apollo. His smile is enough to defrost a thousand years of snow and with one wink, you're 90% guaranteed to have a good day.

The Japanese guy with long blonde hair -sharing similar traits as to that famous Howl character- is the one who always smiles no matter what!

Every girl has fallen for his smile, every guy envies his attractiveness. He is playful, cheerful, and flirty! No one walks away from Yuta without a smile or a blush, no one but Lee Taeyong.

Yuta has never personally encounter Lee Taeyong. He just knows the famous cold-hearted prince who shares the same painting class with him. Despite sharing the same class this term, Yuta has never seated next to him nor has he the chance to talk with him. Taeyong always comes into the class near the starting time and leaves first.

T'was until one eventful moment that the two opposite individuals are put together for their final Junior year project. The teacher insists for their final project to draw a realistic nude painting of their assigned partner. Nude painting is not something new to the students here, besides the teacher paired the students and asked their conscience about it. Yuta won’t turn the chance down, but when the teacher asked Taeyong if he is okay with his partner, Yuta can’t look into his direction. All the Japanese guy can do is fiddle with his hands while waiting for the teacher to call out his name and pair him with another student.

“Sure, I mean I don’t have any reasons to object.” Taeyong's deep voice resonates through the studio and believe it or not the whole class was holding their breaths. Yuta almost squeals when Taeyong accepts the partnering scheme. When the teacher asks him, Yuta immediately nods and gosh his silly smile over there was caught in Taeyong's peripheral view. Believe it or not, for the first time in forever, Lee Taeyong smirked in public.

Ten who sits close to Yuta secretly gives a sly smile to the Japanese man. Yuta tosses a questioning look and Ten mouths “Everyone is confused if they want to be in your shoes or Taeyong's"

Yuta blushes at his words, Ten sure knows how to tease him. Well, Ten is one of Yuta's best friends and he is the only one who knows about the secret mission Yuta has in his heart. Yes, Yuta aims to be able to make Taeyong falls for him like any other people. It is not an easy task, Yuta is aware of that, but because of that he is more than challenged to succeed.

“So, I guess I'll miss you,” Ten suddenly says this when they're packing up their books.

Yuta glances to the room and sees Taeyong is still there, unlike usual!

“What do you mean?” Yuta asks back

Ten winks, “He is coming here, maybe asking your number. I won’t bother, see you!” he taps Yuta's shoulder and flies all the way down the room leaving Yuta alone with Taeyong on his side.

“So… you are my partner for our final project, right?” Taeyong's secret voice greets Yuta's ear. He almost falls on the ground for realizing how good his voice sounds.

Yuta quickly nods his head and waits for the other to continue.

“I don’t want to flunk this class, so when should we start?” Taeyong goes straight into business.

Yuta feels a bit sad that the man in front of him is strictly stuck to business, but he is the best in masking emotions, Taeyong wouldn’t be able to guess.

“Yes sure, I also want to start early. Umm when do you have free time?”

Taeyong picks his phone out and goes to his planner, he scrolls and sees how busy he is. He sighs, not wanting to disturb the warm guy in front of him longer…

“Put in your number and I'll text you my free time. Also, sorry for bothering you.” He sheepishly gives a tiny smile! Microscopic but not to Yuta!

Yuta wants to jump right now, Taeyong is asking his number! How silly was he, thinking about so many ways to ask the latter's number without sounding too flirty or rude. He didn’t have to worry, Taeyong did it well.

Yuta quickly types in his number and saves the contact. He presses the call button and when his phone rings, he shuts it off.

“Cool. I got your number.” Yuta, who is usually verbose, only slips in efficient reply but his warm smile is always there.

Taeyong seems a bit taken aback by the smile; Yuta didn’t notice this. If he noticed, Yuta won’t let that go.

“Okay, see you then.” Taeyong shuffles in his place and finally leaves Yuta alone. The class is empty already and Yuta sits back on his chair.

He controls his heartbeat that is beating faster than a runner, and he hides his face in his hands as he feels his cheeks getting hotter.

“I MUST BE DRUNK HAPPY!” he muffles his scream to himself and Yuta elicits the brightest smile ever that day.

He walks through the corridors, tossing smiles and greetings to everyone he sees and that radiant look really energized everyone else.

“I wonder what's wrong with Yuta hyung, he looks really bright!” Renjun, a freshman from China, asks Ten.

Ten just smirks, “He won the lottery maybe. Come on! I want to learn how to do water color with you!” he pulls the younger away.

--

That afternoon, Yuta is seated on the edge of his bed with Ten sleeping on the soft mattress.

“Ten why isn’t he texting me? Should I send him my schedule first?” Yuta sounds like a nervous teenager who is confessing to their  crus.

Ten laughs out loud at his worries, “Yow! Yuta! You're the flirtiest guy here and you're nervous and confused about talking to Taeyong?! You know your rules.. because this is Taeyong you wait! You don’t want to look easy on him right?”

Yuta frowns “Well yes, but Ten I am so excited! Like I am afraid I cannot draw him nicely and I’ll hurt his feelings! Gosh Why does it have to be nude realistic painting?! If it's comic I'm sure he will fall for my drawings!”

Ten scoffs, “Silly because the class we're taking is realistic painting??? Come on you're good with your hands. He will like it.”

Yuta feels nervous, he is not the best in realistic drawing but he is not that bad.

Yuta suddenly turns his head to face Ten, “Hey!” he grips Ten's wrist.

“TEACH ME HOW TO DO BETTER REALISTIC DRAWING!!” he sounds so excited and nervous at the same time.

Ten grins “What will I get in return?”

Yuta rolls his eyes, there is always a catch with Ten.

“I don’t know?? I'll treat you pizza?”

“Nah, not interested. What about that model friend of yours,’ number??”

Yuta frowns for a while, trying to remember who is Ten talking about

“Johnny?” Yuta raises his brow

Ten bites his lips and nods, Yuta reaches out his hand and the other one seals the deal.

“Okay, you follow me to the studio tomorrow after 2? Bring a sketch book I'll help with the sketching first and then we'll go to the painting part which I know you do okay.” Ten jumps in surprise when he catches the light of notification in Yuta's phone.

They both crowd the screen as Taeyong's name appear in Yuta's message box.

“Best day ever…” Yuta shyly opens the message and replies back with his own schedule.

They talk for awhile and come to an agreement that they'll start doing it next week.

“TEN! WE NEED TO DO THE CRASH COURSE ASAP. I am not going to disappoint him.” Yuta looks so ambitious and Ten is just happy he's getting Johnny's number.

--

Crash course was not that easy. Ten is a strict teacher and he keeps on nagging Yuta to fix his way of sketching. Well Yuta's inattentive to small details, but Ten insists it is the most important thing.

“You're doing nude painting, every stroke matters! What if he ends up not having edges? You'll hate yourself.” Ten reminds Yuta his goal.

“Don’t you want to impress him? Plus I’m sure you'll get good finals if you follow my tips.”

Yuta ends up doing three more drawings, all from seeing Ten posing in front of him.

“Ten, you're just playing around with me right? You just want me to draw you?” Yuta slams his pencil down after the third time of renewing Ten's picture

Ten throws an apple he found at the table to Yuta “You think I'd ask you to draw me?! I'd rather ask Taeyong!”

Yuta shoots his eyes while rubbing his head “Hey! We agreed he is mine. Don’t you dare!”

Ten analyzes the sketch Yuta did and smiles “Now this, will make Taeyong interested in you.” He examines his friend’s work and compares the first two.

He just stays quiet and tosses three of the papers side by side to Yuta “See that? If I'm not your friend… I'd charge you a thousand dollars already for this class.”

Ten is not lying when he said that, within three sketches (and two hours of painful comments) Yuta's drawing significantly improves. He barely knows he can draw like that third drawing he made.

“Yoksi… Ten you're so talented! My best friend!” he hugs Ten and Ten just slightly coughs “Don’t forget the deal.”

Yuta just smiles and fishes his phone, he quickly sends a contact name to Ten and when Ten receives the number, Yuta takes his chance to leave the room.

He's now more confident in seeing Taeyong. He didn’t know what will happen on the day they'll meet but he sure wants to make a good impression.

 --

“Hey so, you'll directly follow me home? Or do you have to do something first?” Taeyong starts the conversation that afternoon after their painting class.

Yuta has not talked with Taeyong after they exchange schedules. They haven’t talked and discussed about their themes, but Yuta guesses they'll figure it out on their way home.

Yuta shifts his head from cleaning up his mess and looks at Taeyong, the stoic man has a tint of blush in his cheek upon seeing Yuta's radiant smile but he quickly hides it away.

“Pull yourself together Taeyong, why are you like this?” Taeyong speaks to himself in his heart.

“Yes Taeyong, I have nothing to do and i'm ready to go." The blonde man smiles to the red haired man and both of them are trying their best to keep their emotions low.

Taeyong slings his bag and nods his head “Hope you don’t mind walking, my apartment is only a 15 minutes walk.” He leads them out of the class and Yuta copies his long steps.

No Yuta doesn’t mind walking an hour if that is with Taeyong. Under the sun, the two angelic man of the school walk side by side… inviting by passer to stop and sneak a picture of them or just stand there frozen upon what they see.

Taeyong keeps his stoic face until they reach the outer gate, meanwhile Yuta is busy waving his hand to anyone he knows and just smiling to random students.

Taeyong snickers when they reach the outer gate “You really are kind to anyone eh? The rumor is true.”

Yuta widens his eyes “Rumor?”

Taeyong smirks and looks into the younger's hazel eyes “Well yes the rumor that you are the school's Apollo? Because they say your smile heals everything?”

Yuta doesn’t know how to react, well he knows that but what should he do? Saying “oh yes and you're the aphrodite that everyone fears….”no that is not good.

Taeyong suddenly shakes his shoulder and loosen down his tie. Well their school gives them uniform with ties, and Taeyong loosening it doesn’t help Yuta's red face. Gosh he looks so hot.

“Hufth glad we're far enough from school and cameras.” He gives a small smile. Yuta is confused, okay so Taeyong did realize the students love to take pictures of him… he also knows how to smile?

Yuta’s confusion makes him ask the red haired man “So you do know?”

Taeyong raises his brow, “Know what? Knows that my picture is secretly famous in the dark web? Being used for sketching references? Comics?”

Yuta gulps well yeah he did see some comic works having illustrations very similar to taeyong and him,… “You know how to smile.” Was the thing Yuta's unfiltered mouth let go.

The blonde Japanese man covers his mouth in fluster, he quickly bows while muttering “Sorry, I really didn’t mean to say that.”

Taeyong freezes in place when he heard that remark, he turns his heels around and faces Yuta who is now looking on the grounds.

Taeyong smirks, interesting, no one dares talk to Taeyong that way and Yuta just did.

“Say that again?” he smirks looking ten times hotter and dominant.

Yuta grins and scratches his head, “I didn’t say anything. Pretend you hear nothing.” He tries to hide his face away but Taeyong bravely brings his chin to face him.

“Well as a matter of fact, yes Yuta, I can smile.” He puts back his cold face and his eyes pierces through Yuta's weak soul. He turns his body away and continues walking… he smiles when he realizes how cute a flustered Yuta is. What he doesn’t know is that behind his back, Yuta has already level up his game.

If that is how Taeyong is going to play the game, he chooses the king of flirt. Yuta will not lose to Taeyong.

The younger shakes his thoughts away and pick up his steps. Once he is next to Taeyong again, Taeyong quickly puts back his stoic face.

“So, what is your theme Taeyong?” Yuta opens the conversation.

Taeyong has been sleepless for the week, trying to find a pose where he can capture Yuta's ethereal beauty in his oil painting. He went through a lot of illustrations references and even imagined Yuta posing for him. He cannot lie, that man really has his own attractiveness and Taeyong cannot pinpoint where.

“Well, as a matter of fact I've prepared several poses for you. Wait before that who is going to draw first today?” Taeyong asks the most important question. He is not spoiling the theme to Yuta right now, at least not in front of a kindergarten school they just passed by.

Yuta shrugs his shoulder “If you're ready to pose, I'll draw  firs… You're a better painter. I'd rather paint you first rather than seeing how great your work is and lose confidence doing mine.” He laughs and Taeyong giggles.

“No way, your drawing is good Yuta! I love your anime illustrations.” Taeyong slides a sincere praise here.

Yuta feels happy that Taeyong knows about his works, “But your abstract painting is wonderful! You're going to be a great artist one day!”

Taeyong feels flowers bloom in his heart, but his face isn’t showing anything.

“Okay then, if you want that… I can pose for you today.” Taeyong hates to admit he actually feels like losing a bet but there is no bet.

Yuta secretly smiles, so Taeyong is the first one giving up for Yuta eh?

Yuta claps his hands “Great! I have some ideas you can choose okay! Pick the one you're most comfortable with.”

“Okay… oh do you mind we walk a bit further and then go back?” taeyong pauses in his track.

Yuta doesn’t understand “Huh?”

Taeyong sighs and shakes his head, not believing himself for saying this outloud to anyone, “I need to feed some kittens there…”

Yuta softens his face “Sure! I love cats and dogs! Didn’t know a cold guy like you cares so much about animals.”

Taeyong can relax now, he feels better knowing that Yuta didn’t laugh at him “Thanks, they're too young to survive.” Taeyong walks into a corner and purrs. Slowly three cats emerge from the dark and meows softly while taking defensive stances when they sense a new presence of Yuta.

Taeyong giggles as he extends his arm to pour the cat foods he had prepared to the ground “Don't be afraid, he is my friend… he won’t hurt you guys.” Taeyong uses a nasal voice to baby talk the kittens and calls Yuta friend?! Oh gosh Yuta is ready to die, Taeyong is a totally different person out here! And he is more than eager to portray that emotion into his painting.

Yuta ends up squatting down beside Taeyong and plays with the kittens for a while. Both men giggling at the smallest action the clumsy cats made.

“Okay, we have to go, or we will end up not working.” Taeyong stands up and brushes his dust off, waiting for Yuta to follow him back to his house.

Yuta bids the kitten farewell as he catches back Taeyong’s long strides and they finally make it into their place for the afternoon.

“Make yourself at home, or at least like this is your studio.” He is glad he cleaned up his room last night.

Yuta nods his head, he sets his canvas up, prepares his pencils, and anything else he needs for the project.

Taeyong has to admit he is nervous, now that he realizes he should be the first one stripping.

The older excuses himself to bath first, earning a small giggle from Yuta, but since Yuta wants Taeyong to be comfortable he lets him go.

As the older finishes his shower, Yuta has pulled out his phone and opens up his choices of poses. Unlike Taeyong who cannot choose a pose, Yuta already has one in mind since the first day Taeyong came to him.

He wants the older to sit on one of the armchair he surprisingly has in his apartment. He’ll have Taeyong sit cross legged, posing as elegant as he can while staying in that position for hours. Yuta esitimates he’ll need six hours to draw, yes draw.

Then maybe they’ll continue the next day for the layers and coloring. He wishes they can finish before time runs out.

“Okay, so how do you want me to pose?” Taeyong comes out of the shower fresh with only a towel covering his lower privacy. Yuta almost chokes upon seeing his appearance, but he is professional enough to hold it back.

Yuta chooses to just show him what he wants and Taeyong easily agrees, “You want me to sit? That’s kind of you. Someone else asked me to stand and damn I got tired, but t’was okay since they paint me nicely.” Taeyong says as he takes his seat and sets his body to look like how Yuta wants.

In front of Yuta, sits Taeyong in his heavenly state. His armchair despite being super simple, looks like it is a throne thanks to Taeyong’s indescribable aura. The man in red hair is sitting cross legged on the armchair, leaning his head to the side supported by his left arm. His face shows the same expression that of a model. His eyes? They were soft minutes ago, but now they’re piercing through the air. Yuta can fall to his knees right now and follow every command this king beholds.

“Please tell me if you need any breaks,” Yuta says breathily.

Taeyong nods, “Oh before that, I haven’t asked you… Do you want any drink or special condition for drawing?”

Yuta thinks for a while, “Well, I can’t work in too much silence, so please talk with me while I start sketching you.”

Taeyong takes a good note on that and as the younger man ties his hair to a man bun and pulls his sleeves up, Taeyong is more than excited to be paired with him. He wants to know how great Yuta can draw him.

They talk about random things like where they studied before entering this school, hobbies, favorite foods, even ended up talking about cats and dogs.

“I’m considering buying myself some fish and put them in the aquarium. What do you think?” Taeyong asks while leaning his head more to his resting hand. Yuta lets one of his hand rests on the arm rest and his head is leaning to that hand. (Super ugly sketch I tried blotting is attached below)

Yuta still focuses on his drawing, “Fish? Their water maintenance can be expensive.”

Taeyong rolls his eyes, “That’s the least I can own in this apartment, they do not allow dogs or cats.”

Yuta just hums, “Okay then go with fish. I don’t see why you’re hesitating.”

“Because if they die, I’ll be super sad.” Taeyong answers in a heartbeat.

Yuta almost drops his pencil upon seeing this side of Taeyong, the soft hearted cute guy is hiding behind a cold mask.

“Sorry if I sound rude, but you’re totally different in and out of school! What makes you act like that in school?” Yuta is glad about his sketch right now, at least his crash course with Ten is saving his face.

Taeyong smirks, “You want to know, or you want to know?” he teases the blonde man a bit, starting to feel super comfortable. Hey nothing beats being comfortable faster than being naked in front of them right?

“Just tell me. Everyone’s talking about you being a heartless cold man, but in real life you’re totally soft and I hate that people are talking about the wrong you.” Yuta blurts his heart out and gasps when he realized what he just said.

Taeyong seizes the opportunity, “Oh, you care about me that much? Well I did that because I’m tired of being the center of attention.”

Yuta clicks his tongue, “And you being like a cold bitch is just making you more into the spotlight.”

Taeyong giggles, now he is using bitch in his sentence? “Well thank me, I give you the spotlight of the good guy!”

Yuta wants to slap him hard if he is his long best friend, but not yet.

“You’re interesting Yuta, you really look astonishing when you’re focused. I wonder if you got a female partner, how distracted will both of you be.”

Yuta hums, “Well that didn’t happen, now I am here drawing you like one of my French guy.” His humorous side comes out.

Taeyong laughs heartily at that, “Okay sorry, I have to keep my expression.”

Yuta nods, “Thanks for realizing, I almost ruin the drawing with your big smile.”

Taeyong grins, “You better draw my cold face there, no one should see this side of me yet.”

“As you please, Your Majesty. Now you may rest, I’ve finished roughly and let me order us something to eat.”

Taeyong is thankful when Yuta tosses him back his towel and the red hair quickly runs to his room to fetch some clothes. Once Taeyong is inside his room, he runs to the mirror and checks how red his ears are actually. Gosh, did Yuta realize?

While Taeyong is changing clothes, Yuta orders them a meal and he keeps his canvas in a safe place.

They have a good time talking again through dinner and like a long best friend who met, the two click like puzzles made for each other.

“Thank you for the meal,” Taeyong says before Yuta leaves his house.

“Thank you for being a nice model. Don’t see my canvas yet okay. I’m not confident with what I have right now.” Yuta wears his jacket as he steps outside the door.

Taeyong nods, he knows that same feeling and he will respect Yuta for it.

“Great, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Yuta smiles, “Yes! Let me know if I need to prepare anything.”

He leaves, walking down the road another five minutes to arrive in his small apartment.

They decided that they will take turn, tomorrow Yuta will be in Taeyong’s shoes.

--

“I hope you don’t mind lying in my bed,” Taeyong says as he explains the concept pose he has been thinking again last night.

Yuta shakes his head, “I’m down for anything! You’re one of the best painter in the class, It’s an honour to be your muse. I’ll do anything for a good result.”

Taeyong slyly smirks, “Anything?”

Yuta winks (hell he is not losing okay), “You heard me loud and clear.”

“Okay then, you… wow, that’s a nice tattoo! We should get that in the frame.” Taeyong runs his eyes over the toned abs and the pretty butterfly tattoo on his lower abdomen.

Yuta smiles, “Yeah I got a story behind it, I’ll tell you later.” Yuta makes himself comfortable between the white sheets Taeyong has prepared and covers his lower abs below with the thin linen. His butterfly tattoo is half peeking but that is exactly what Taeyong needs.

“I hope you’re not allergic to flowers,” Taeyong suddenly appears with a bag of flower petals. Yuta blushes, this man really prepares a lot.

“Absolutely not, just do what you need to do.” Yuta stutters a bit. Where is his confident flirty personality at time like this?! Taeyong calmly places the petals in different places, once he is satisfied with what he has the Aphrodite walks to his fridge and takes out one cold can of beer.

“I need some cans to draw,” Taeyong explains himself, though Yuta didn’t ask anything.

The drawing session begins, and they casually talk again, Yuta is facing the opposite side of Taeyong and from a lower view, he can clearly see how Taeyong frowns and how he bites his lips while concentrating on his canvas. Yuta can see each detail in Taeyong’s face from a new angle!

He loves the shade of red his lips have and his hair! His hair is envious. Yuta sees Taeyong pauses to sip his drink some time and when he feels like closing his eyes on the sheet, he doesn’t hear any warning from Taeyong and so the blonde angel falls asleep after watching the man he secretly likes.

Taeyong finishes not long after it and when he realizes the younger is no longer talking, he peeks over his canvas and smiles upon seeing Yuta’s calm sleeping face. Even in his sleep, he looks super kind and angelic!

“You really are son of Apollo or maybe Apollo himself,” Taeyong brings a strand of hair away from Yuta’s eyes. Gently, he pulls a thicker blanket over the younger’s bare skin and lets him rest for some more.

Taeyong leaves the room and controls his quickening heartbeat. When pulling the blanket over Yuta, he is close to his face and inches away from those plush lips. Taeyong feels his heartbeat increasing and he has to quickly walk away before doing things that he didn’t want.

Yuta wakes up feeling sorry for falling asleep, but Taeyong just shakes it off. Saying he totally understands, and he doesn’t mind. With that being said, they eat dinner together again before finally parting goodbye. To make things faster, Yuta brings home his canvas so he can start layering and do the basic stuff he can do without the model. Same thing for Taeyong.

That night, both men busy themselves in their own studios. Accompanied by one light, cups of coffees, soft music, and each other’s sketches on their canvas witnessing just how love struck both parties are. Yet both souls are too stubborn to fall on one knee and confess this big crush they have to the other.

Another week comes and this time they need to meet again. Yuta and Taeyong have already been comfortable with one another, to the point where Yuta can talk in the hallway with Taeyong. Something super rare to be seen! Not Yuta’s part but seeing Taeyong walks and talks with someone at school is the hottest news of the week.

--

Through hours and hours of staying together in the same place, stroking paint brushes, learning each and every flaws and beauty their muse have, it’s not surprising how comfortable and close they are right now.

Yuta knows just every detail of Taeyong’s face. He notices the rose print scar next to his right eye, the small mole on his lips, the way Taeyong’s eyes twinkle with stars, how his hair stays in place despite the hours of posing.

Taeyong is able to draw Yuta base on memory too now. He finds the perfect hue of his skin, the right yellow shade for his smooth hair, the way his eyes relax and the story about how Yuta’s butterfly ended up being printed in his torso.

Taeyong cannot deny the bubbly feeling in his chest. Is he feeling that dangerous chemical reactions in his body? Is he in love?

It’s already the last week from the deadline and the two choose to finish everything tonight. So, that afternoon Yuta comes into Taeyong’s house with a sleepover supply and they start their last journey of painting.

There’s a tugging feeling in Yuta’s heart as he finalizes his painting. A satisfied smile comes to his face when he sees his final painting of Taeyong. His eyes run from the breathing perfection sitting like a throne king waiting for his interesting part in life to start, and to the canvas he’s been working on for hours! A satisfied smile comes to his face when he feels his hours of blood, sweat, and tears of working being paid off with the portray lying before him.  He is proud with how he manages to capture the soft side of Taeyong hidden under his cold guy shell.

Yuta waits for the paint to dry, and while doing that he is now again, lying on the bedsheets of Taeyong’s room. The fresh linen once smelled like fresh laundry, the day when Yuta fell asleep. Today, it smells different. A slight hint of musk and mint, is this how Taeyong smells like? Did the painter across him sleeps on the same bed he is lying bare right now? If that’s true, this is hot.

Unlike Taeyong who shows his soft side to Yuta, through this painting course Taeyong realizes just how charismatic Yuta is behind his warm healing smile. The same guy who tosses hearty smile in public can hold an intense fiery gaze on sheets. Taeyong bites his lips as he runs his eyes one more time over his perfectly pliant muse. Yuta feels relaxed on that bed, and that makes Taeyong feels less guilty for asking Yuta to stay a bit more since he needs to finalize the tattoo and the details.

“Mind if I see that butterfly a bit closer again?” Taeyong excuses himself and bends to scrutinize over the complex lines.

Yuta holds his breath and hides his read ears, he can feel his face burning from embarrassment but Taeyong doesn’t seem to care. He even traces the lines to get the shape and returns behind his canvas.

What feels like eternity finally comes to an end and both heart secretly wish they have more time to enjoy the presence of the other, looking each other without being judged creepy, but everything has an end.

“And I’m done!” Taeyong sets aside his canvas to dry next to Yuta’s. They plan to add their names and signature later on tomorrow maybe to not ruin the colors.

“Do you want some drink?” Taeyong asks as he tosses Yuta a big teeshirt and his pants.

Yuta nods, “Let’s order some good food and have a bit fun tonight. This project is tiring, but I’m glad with my result.”

Taeyong scrolls his phone to order some foods and beers, he agrees with Yuta. This ending needs a celebration! As the two men sit on the dining table, chopsticks reaching over for foods and glasses being refiled with golden liquids, their heads slowly turn drowsy.

“I hate that this thing end actually…” Taeyong, who is a lighter head than Yuta has fallen to his drunk state, comments.

Yuta swears if he is sober right now, he will blush, but no. Now he is similarly under alcoholic control and he can’t seem to control his flirty side.

“Oh yeah? You like seeing me that much? My presence is enough to make you happy?” Yuta leans in closer and rests his chin elegantly on his right palm.

Taeyong furiously runs his hands over his face, “Gosh yes Yuta! You make me crazy! Being super hot on my bed with just one linen over you, not to mention I really want to bite that tattoo mark!”

Yuta giggles, drunk Taeyong is fun to play with. He bravely stands up and walks over to sit beside Taeyong. Daringly runs a hand over the tensed shoulder, “Guess you’re super tired already. You’re starting to speak nonsense.”

Although Yuta wants to hear more about Taeyong’s true feelings to him, he knows it is not polite of him to listen to Taeyong’s drunk rambles. What if Taeyong didn’t remember anything and it will make things awkward.

Taeyong pulls Yuta who is trying to walk away, and makes the blonde man falls into his lap.

“We’re both stubborn and our egos are too high. Fuck it, I’m gonna say this now.” Taeyong’s grip on Yuta’s slender waist tightens.

“I love you, I love you so much Yuta! It pains me every night to finish this painting without you in my room. I can finish it because I memorize your features, but it doesn’t feel the same when you’re here posing and breathing the same air with me.” Taeyong’s lower voice growls inside Yuta’s ear.

Yuta cannot think of anything else, rather than focusing on the glistening lips Taeyong has and it takes every ounce and angel in Yuta’s body to hold himself back from attacking that lips.

But the devil won tonight, and the blonde man sticks his lips into the red hair’s. Taeyong presses his neck deeper and lets Yuta takes control of the intense lips battle. No one is backing down, the two gods of the school have met and the opposite attractions have connected.

Just like North going South, butterflies looking for their flowers, and soulmates finding one another…

Taeyong finds Yuta and Yuta finds Taeyong.

Both separate souls finally become one, after years and years of waiting. Seasons of love months, and hours of portrait painting.

“I love you too, Lee Taeyong. And you drive me crazy.” Yuta breaks the kiss to whisper this right next to his lips and seals their bond back with a deeper meaningful kiss.

On the edge of the room, their painted portraits of each other glow under the moonlight.

 --

Epilogue

 “This is very nice! I mean Taeyong!!! I’ll definitely buy this at any price!” Yuta gasps and shakes his head when he sees the result Taeyong shows.

Taeyong shyly looks into his feet, after what they did last night somehow, he feels like he cannot see Yuta’s eyes this morning.

Yes both young men have woken up under the same blanket, bodies sticking to each other as the cold morning air tries to creep up their soft skins. Taeyong wakes up being under Yuta’s possessive strong arms and he knows he wants more of this in the future!

“I am not selling it.” Taeyong smirks.

Yuta’s face fell, “Not even to me?

He shakes his head, “No. I like that masterpiece I made.”

Yuta frowns and pouts, “Okay then… I am also not selling mine to you.”

Taeyong runs his eyes over the painting. He needs to admit, he didn’t expect Yuta to paint him that nice… but everything in that picture speaks a thousand words about Taeyong. Taeyong is dying to have that paint in his room too! But if this is how they’re going to do it…. Okay then no one will have their own portrait.

“Fine.”

“Okay, then when are you free?” Yuta suddenly asks

Taeyong sounds flustered, “Eh? Are you asking me out on a date?”

Yuta rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue, “I am booking you for a painting session. I need you to make my portrait but this time I will keep it in my room.”

Taeyong steals a kiss on his lips, “Wow, okay then the price is a portrait from you too.”

“Seriously guys? Infront of my salad?” a voice suddenly interrupts the two madly in love couple.

“Oh, sorry Ten, we forgot you’re there…” Yuta picks his tablet up and shows his face and Taeyong’s back on his screen.

This morning Ten video calls them wanting to see how their painting look like.

“Those are perfect. Why don’t you two live together and put them up in the same place. That way both of you can see it every day without actually selling it.” Ten rolls his eyes and grins.

The couple look into each other’s eyes and grin “That’s not a bad idea…”

“Okay I regret saying that, now go… Ew stop displaying affection in front of me.” Ten shakes his head and closes the call when the screen once again shows both of them sucking their faces off.

 end

    How is it?? cringe enough???

please give comments and inputs :”)) I really am looking forward for your opinion about the story 

Thank you for reading, sorry for the long post 

Have a nice day/ sweet dreams :*

xoxo

Cosmic

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

My take on Till..

What follows is my personal take on Till Lindemann, without ever having met him but i occasionally like to ramble and it's sundaymorning and i don't feel like doing something useful yet...so here goes (will probably be long) 🌻

My feeling is that Till is one of those people who is absolutely genuine and authentic. A person who others would describe simply as 'Till is Till'. I would bet that if someone who knew him 30 or 40 years ago, would meet him again today, they'd instantly recognize him and what he does and feel he hadn't changed a bit (not necessarily meaning his looks, because obviously those have changed over the years). His character seems to be very true to himself. He still has the boy/young man in him and his likes and dislikes probably didn't change much either.

That's not to say that he is a 'simple' man. He has many facets and several more 'extreme' than the average person-in-the-street. But in every facet he is what he is and pursues it because he is completely into it. Whether it's the dark side that comes out in his lyrics and poetry, the cutting or burning himself in his performance art, going on his own back to nature, boozing, sex, partying with like-minded people, childlike humor; he has no hesitation about any of it, gives himself completely because *he* wants it and enjoys doing it, not to please others, or because they tell him to. His entourage, the people that often travel with him and hang out, will probably cater to his likes and not try to impose their own likes on him.

For people he has to deal with professionally (making music, shooting videos, doing interviews etc), the trick will be to find a way that is in Till's broad scala of 'things he likes' and if you succeed, he'll be easy to work with and do what you want, without even much discussion. If you don't, i think he'll loose interest quickly and before you know it, he's off doing something else, and then you're done.

Imo he doesn't suffer from the idea that many people have when they get older, that they can't do the things anymore they did when they were young, *because* they got older. If Till thought it was funny to try and nick snacks from grocery stores, he still thinks it's funny now, where others would think "well, we were young kids then, but it isn't appropriate anymore". That others feel the need to explain his actions with "then he was an 'angry' youngster, now he is a quirky grandpa", doesn't bother him, but i doubt he himself feels an explanation is needed, it's just the way he is.

All in all very much a 'What you see is what you get' kind of guy.

Flake

I think Flake is the easiest one for Till to relate to, because like him, Flake is an authentic person: Flake is always Flake. Imo Till likes Flake's dead-pan, and selfdepreciating humor. They share a dressingroom and although they seem to be completely different people with regards to how to do a concert and who to invite for the afterparty, their combination works well for both of them. And Flake likes Till as Till and trusts him completely. I doubt even if Flake had a reservation about something Till does or says, he'd feel the need to say it to him.

Olli

There are few pictures or stories about specifically Till and Olli together, there is relatively little info on Olli himself (outside of concerts). I think Till appreciates Olli's calm and straightforwardness and Olli likes Till to work with, but other than that they may not have that much in common. Maybe in this case the age-difference is also a factor being the oldest and youngest in the band; an difference of 8 years may not seem much when you're in your 50's, but it is when you're in your 20's, and if you've known eachother for as long as they have, that often lingers on in the way you see eachother when you're older.

Schneider

Schneider is imo the one in the band who appeals to his 'young dude' side most. They share a sense of childlike or boyish humor (the little video of Till playing with his loose fingernail would imo be something that would amuse Schneider as well). When they did the video of Ohne Dich and Till joked with Schneider to have a threesome with one of the dummies. I think Schneider enjoys this side of Till, but doesn't necessarily understand all aspects of Till. He might joke along about sex or the darker lyrics, because he thinks it's all for fun and for a laugh, and then is a bit confused when Till actually writes the lyrics down and 'means' them. I think Till's performance art is way out of Schneider's comfortzone and even out of Schneider's entire frame of reference. (And i still think that Schneider unfollowed the Till_Lindemann_Official account on IG after the 'BJ under the drumstage' video showed up; not that that account is maintained by Till anyway, and nowadays it's mainly used to plug merch, so maybe that's why Schneider unfollowed).

Paul

Paul is the one (also mentioned this in another ramble post) i think who is most acceptant of the extremer sides of Till, up to a certain point. And when in Rammstein, Paul tries to coax Till to stay within certain boundaries. Paul knows how to get Till to only go as far as Paul thinks is okay, secretly imposing his own way on Till, but wrapping it in a way that Till accepts it and goes along. Till likes Paul, his humor, clowning around with him on stage (and probably off it as well). The one thing I think Till doesn't like is when Paul starts arguing or quarreling and he only tolerates it as long as he doesn't have to get involved himself. Without Paul's meddling the band probably wouldn't be what it is today, and in the end that is appreciated, but during the proces, i think Till rather leaves to have a beer or two (or four) and wait for the Paul-storm to have subsided. Paul has probably mellowed down over the years and isn't as blunt or sharp anymore as in his youth, and this makes it easier to relax and have a good time together, but i don't think Paul would soon join Till's entourage.

Richard

Richard is the one Till has known longest and probably best of the band. They lived together when they were young, went on holidays, shared views on sex and relationships and loved to go partying (even though Richard's vice was always more drugs than alcohol, but that didn't matter in having a good time). They also shared the experience of not having a good childhood, and it was probably of comfort to them both to have someone who understood that. And they are a shared family, having a daughter each with the same woman, and for Richard family is no.1. They also complement eachother in their work. There are loads of interviews where Richard is gushing over Till as a writer, a person, a friend, without even having to be asked (he'll just bring up the topic himself). Richard takes his work very seriously, wants to achieve new things and still argues if someone wants to meddle with his creations, and imo (see Paul) this is the part Till would rather skip and not get involved with; i could also see that Till doesn't really *get* the overthinking/worrying side of Richard. Likewise, i think Richard doesn't *get* some of the extremer sides of Till, like the 'Till enjoys pain' aspect (i think Richard hates Till being hurt, even he does it himself). I do think that over the years though that unlike Till, Richard *has* changed; which isn't necessarily bad, he seems to have his drugaddiction under control and having a young daughter maybe calmed him down a bit. Maybe there is also a bit of a midlife crisis going on (some people over 50 feel they have reached their peak and just want to go on relaxed until their pension, but Richard certainly isn't one of those). Imo this has led to the two not being as close as they once were; i think Richard regrets it more than Till. Richard has mentioned how Till doesn't seem to have a lot time, and with that he probably means one-on-one time. From Till's point of view, Richard is the one who changed his fancies and likes (never directly refering to him in interviews but occasionally mentioning not being into something like yoga or therapy, which have helped Richard a lot over the years).

See...told you it would be long...for what it's worth: which is nothing 🍀

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #330

“and i don't want ya  /  and i don't need ya  /  don't bother to resist, or i'll beat ya  /  it's not your fault that you're always wrong  /  the weak ones are there to justify the strong”

If you have a job, do you like it? I'm unemployed. Do you like any kinds of fruit? Well of course. Are you waiting for something right now? Covid and this headache to fuck off, May for my tattoo, to be paid to take some pictures again... What is your favorite kind of animal? Kind, not the actual animal itself? In that case, social species, usually mammals. What kind of Dippin' Dots do you like? Holy shit, I haven't had that in like a damn decade or something. I don't know, I barely remember the taste. Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? My mom. My mother is a fucking warrior. Do you have a Pinterest account? Yeah. I get a lot of photography ideas from there, as well as base pictures to make Mark icons, haha. If you were to write a book, what would it be about? The stories I and my friends have weaved in RP. Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? AHHHHH YES!!!!! Mom loves that show, so I used to watch it with her growing up. Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I don't think so. Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? I haven't, but I would for certain people. Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Probably Night at the Museum. Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? I think it's a cool creepypasta; he does look pretty unnerving with his height and especially lack of a face. The movie was good too, btw. Do you know what the Tardis is? I think almost everyone does in this generation, haha. Doctor Who ain't no joke to a whole lot of people. Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? Sure, like Pokemon or Avatar: The Last Airbender, among others. I wouldn't at all be opposed to watching The Lion Guard, either. I actually want to, with my whole TLK love. I'm not embarrassed to watch "kids" shows or movies at all. What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Having not an ounce of knowledge on how to love things in moderation/avoid total obsession with things, haha. If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? No, especially not now with my legs. Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Almost solely fiction. What modern technology are you especially grateful for? Laptops, ig. Do you have a favorite science topic? Genetics. Very fascinating stuff. Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No. What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Either Johnny Got His Gun or Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What's your most popular post? On what? If Facebook, I don't really know. Possibly my "coming out" one or a lovey-dovey essay when Sara and I were together. On Tumblr, it's definitely the gif I made of Mark and Chica (his dog) with I think over 10k notes. Manga or anime? Anime. I don't read manga, though I've been tempted with Deadman Wonderland since the show only had one season and ends on a ginormous cliffhanger, but there's more story to be had. A card game that you're good at? None, really. A popular book you haven't read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird. I feel like every school student has read it at some point. Favorite Mean Girls quote? I don't know any. It's a fine movie, but I've never understood the hype. Name your top 3 albums from your favorite band/artist. Black Rain, Ozzmosis, and... then I can't choose. I love so, so many very dearly. Name your top 5 music videos. I don't really watch music videos, so I definitely can't name five. My #1 favorite is probably "Wrong Side of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch; I absolutely cannot watch it without crying. What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develop? Animals. I was born simply adoring animals and have always wanted to protect them and their environment. Do you like monkeys? Do you believe in evolution? Yes and yes. We've literally watched it in action. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Discussing RP if you're not involved in it. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm weird. Have you considered running for president? Absolutely not. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I'd say Mark, but I'd be way too interested in dating him instead of being just friends, haha... So with that said, maybe Bindi Irwin? Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? Lyndsey would be that person, so no. She's a great friend of mine, but realistically I'd probably only ever - if ever - do that with the company of my s/o. Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? No. How long did your last relationship last? Around two years. Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Online, yes, as a little kid on the Animal Planet forum, haha... Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Yeah, Juan. Did you like it? It was a sweet moment, but I didn't want it. Does your dad smoke? Like a chimney. Is your mom over 50? Yeah. Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, kinda hooked on "The Horrible People" by Manson. I've found a lot of great music lately. Would you ever consider getting breast implants? No, but once (if...) I lose all the weight I want, it's going to be a moderate priority to get a breast lift. I've hated my body way too fucking long and am dying to be satisfied with it again, and with how much weight I need to lose, I would essentially have grandma tits. :x Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Me, haha. Among some friends. Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? That's not something I'd just go to tell someone afterwards for no reason... I'd only ever mention having lost my virginity if I was actually asked or if it was relevant to a conversation. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? I'm really trying to practice opposite action and behavioral activation, among other things I've learned in group therapy. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? Well, I want to be my own boss as a freelance photographer. In any other job, I definitely wouldn't want that. Too much responsibility and leadership skills. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? I don't think so? Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? Yes, Tyler. I felt like I was "supposed to." I felt really uncomfortable afterwards. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? Probably like, 5:00. No. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? Always an emotional connection. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? No to both. What hair color is the most attractive on the opposite sex? Of natural colors, black, but I like unnaturally dyed hair most. Where do you like to go to when you are stressed? On a carride, so long as I'm controlling the music nice and loud and not talking. Where do you go to get your hair cut/dyed? To a family friend's little salon/small business. Why do you want the career that you want? Because I adore art and think it's pretty darn magical that you can freeze a moment forever to not just remember in your head, but actually see. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I enjoyed it when I was younger. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. Have you ever worked in an office? No. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No. Did you have an Easy-Bake oven when you were little? Sure did. Have you ever seen a donkey? Yeah. Have you ever made out in a hot tub? Pretty sure no. Do you always flush the toilet after you use it? Yes. What were the last words you said to your dad? Probably "bye, love you." Have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating? Nah. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? JASON. Are you a really understanding person? Yeah, very. Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Yes. When’s the last time you wore a wig? For a witch costume many years ago. Why were you last hospitalized? Suicide attempt. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food? At least 12 hours, but I think I almost went a day once back when recovery started and my appetite was non-existent. What was the last name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Britt. How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were chicken tenders. What is your favorite kind of chip? Hot crunchy Cheetos. What grade did you have your first boyfriend? 7th. Have you ever been told that you’ve lost weight? Yeah, back when I actually WAS losing loads of weight. >> Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some things, but definitely not all. Does anyone call you babe/baby? No. Have you ever made a significant other cry? Sadly. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? Maybe just a teeeeny bit. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yep. Fuck them prices. Are you prone to illness? Definitely not. What races do you usually date? History says Caucasian, but I have no actual preference. I'll date any race. What’s your cup size? C. Ever flirted with a teacher? Yikes, no thanks. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister made the most stuff. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Well, considering it literally traumatized me... Do you have any ex’s you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, definitely. When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? Yesterday for lunch. Ham, American cheese, and mustard. Have you ever made friends with someone that you didn’t expect to get along with? Yeah. Do you own any accessories with your name on? No. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I pay no attention to this. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No. Have you ever sent a naughty text message? Suggestive ones, yes. How long have you had your pets? Roman, around two years. Venus, around three or four years. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family? Sara. Has one of your friends ever tried to hook you up with someone? Colleen tried obnoxiously hard to push Girt and me together. We all went out to eat pizza once just as friends hanging out, and this bitch prefaced an uncomfortable and nosy question to him with an even more uncomfortable "because I'm trying to get you in her pants...", and that, my friends, was the closest occasion I've ever come to slapping someone right across the face. I looked at her in absolute disgust, and Girt was clearly thinking "what the actual fuck" as well. I do not miss her feral mouth. Are you good at staring contests? No. Eye contact is very difficult for me to maintain. Do you like peanut butter? I love peanut butter. When was the last time you had to present something to your class? In this mandatory but entirely pointless entry class at my last college, we all had to do like this PowerPoint introducing ourselves. I hated it. Who was the last person that told you they missed you? I think my friend Chelsea. What store is your favorite shirt from? It's not a real store, but rather an online brand: Cloak. Mark is one of the owners/creators so I obviously support them intensely. Have you ever fell off your bed while you were sleeping? No, thankfully. Do you have something you’re supposed to tell someone, but you haven’t yet? No. What type of food do you never really eat? Vegetables, oops. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Do you like going to weddings? Not really, if I'm being honest. I'm only interested in photographing weddings for the only the couple pictures and pay, really. I'm not big on formal events. What’s your favorite flavor squash? I don’t like squash. Do you or anyone in your house have a severe allergy? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Our landlord/family friend, just to hang out for a little bit and chat with Mom. What fad were you actually into? Hm. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I'm not a very spontaneous person, so I really don't know.

[chocafe]

— hyeongjun as your boyfriend

pairing: boyfriend!hyeongjun x reader a/n: requested + hyeongjun be like: *baby boy noises*

want to adopt a dog? well, you don’t need to because you have hyeongjun and he’s basically the human embodiment of a brown toy poodle

very often, hyeongjun would run to his hyungs and ask them for help and advice for his relationship with you

he does this because he admires your guys relationship so much that he doesn’t want a single thing to go wrong

hyeongjun: guys! y/n hasn’t been texting me back, but they’re on twitter right now making tweets. i’m so confused D:

hyeongjun: what should i get y/n for our anniversary? i’m pretty clueless since this is my first time experiencing something like this.

hyeongjun: seungyoun, can you drive me to y/n’s house? (๑•͈ᴗ•͈)

seungyoun: do i look like an uber driver to you?

seungyoun, fifteen minutes later: okay we’re here. text me when you need me to pick you up

absolutely always down to do whatever you want and he never complains about it

want to spend four hours binge watching a new netflix series?

then hyeongjun is sitting besides you, crying along with the main characters

want to go get your nails done?

then hyeongjun is the one painting your nails + PLUS he’s also there waiting for your nails to finish up drying, so you can paint his nails afterwards

want to eat all of the sweets in the whole entire world?

then hyeongjun is the one buying and feeding them to you

as we all know, hyeongjun isn’t the best when it comes to taking selfies

with that being said, his instagram feed mostly contains pictures of you and pictures with you

for the pictures with you, you’re obviously the one who’s clicking the “capture” button since he can’t take a single photo, even if his life depends on it

many people tend to get dazed by his instagram because no one can really tell if it’s his personal account or if it’s a lovestagram that you both share

btw you know hyeongjun’s ig password and you usually go on his account to like your own photos LMAO

he used to be the head of his high school’s calligraphy club

so expect some surprise presents from him featuring his calligraphy art work!

. . . you may or may not have a binder in your room dedicated to all of the calligraphies he has made for you in the past

couple item heaven ࿐ྂ。

some of the items you two share are:

matching phone cases

matching wallpapers ─ your wallpaper is a picture of hyeongjun from your guys first date while his wallpaper is also you from the same day

matching bracelets

matching necklaces

matching couple shirts ─ a whole lot of them to be quite honest

sometimes, you guys have matching t-shirts solely based on the fact that you both like the same things

you: put that shirt away

hyeongjun: no you put yours away because i grabbed mine first

you and hyeongjun, after arguing over a shirt: *purchasing the same shirt at the cash register bc the argument was going no where*

putting hyeongjun’s little baby self to the side

he’s actually a very responsible / mature person!

he doesn’t get enough credit for this

on the days when you’re studying late at the school library

or when you’re stuck working another night shift

hyeongjun would walk all the way to where you’re located at

and then he would walk you back home since things can be quite scary at night

he just wants to make sure you’re safe

even though he’s pretty tiny, he wants to protect you from everything

his favorite type of date is when you two have a picnic date!

the sounds of the wind is like music to his ears

and to hyeongjun, it feels like you two are the only people alive on this planet as you both sit in a field of wildflowers

every single time you two go on a picnic date, he continues to use the same flirt technique

it’s pretty cheesy, but you can never get tired of it

“this flower looks just like you.” hyeongjun casually says as he places the stated flower behind your ear

“how so?” you question him, copying his actions by also placing a flower behind his very own ear

“it’s pretty─ just like you.” he cracks a smile that could possibly be brighter than the very sun shining at you two

instead of responding back, you chuckle to yourself and grin in return, causing hyeongjun’s heart to combust into a million of pieces

“AH!” hyeongjun shouts out, burying his face into the palm of his hands. “what am i saying?”

he finally came back to his senses and realized how flirty he was just a few seconds ago

“why are acting like this is your first time saying such a thing?” you comment as you grab a hold of his hands, leading them away from his face

right when you pull his hands away

you quickly press your lips against hyeongjun’s, leaving a small, but soft peck on his lips

surprised by your sudden kiss, hyeongjun hides behind his hands once more

but this time, he was blushing so crazily that he couldn’t let you see his cherry colored face

“hyeongjun, you’re blushing, aren’t you?”

“me? blushing? no way, it’s just really hot out here.”

on that following day, hyeongjun uploads a picture onto instagram featuring you two with the same flowers behind your guys ears

[instagram] @hyeongjun: how many flowers can you spot in this picture?

[instagram] @dohyon: i hate cheesy mfs like you 😑

[instagram] @hangyul: i see two tiny flowers and two stray cats

[instagram] @minhee: brave of you to assume that i can even see in the first place

things hyeongjun loves ｡:°ஐ

he loves it when you kiss him on the cheek

it gets him all giggly inside and makes him feel the same way he used to feel when you both first started going out

he loves it when you praise him

despite being a skillful person, has his days where he lacks confidence. however, with you praising him, it motivates him to become better as long as you’re there by his side

he loves teaching you new dance moves and just dancing with you in general (letting that be professionally or just carelessly dancing in the living room for fun)

dancing is his passion, so sharing this hobby of his with the person he admires the most means a lot to him

he loves cuddling with you and digging his face into the crook of your neck

you feel “so cozy and nothing can beat that feeling!” hyeongjun constantly says during every cuddle session

lastly, he loves you ♡

[notribs]

hello hello ! it is may again and i... am still 20, using she/her, and in the eastern standard timezone. i can’t say that’s changed in the amount of time between intros. anyway, i do want to say that i like this gif because i feel like it.............. is an accurate representation of ribs at........... almost all times.

‹ TREVANTE RHODES, HE/HIM, CIS MAN, BISEXUAL. › DAVID “RIBS” SHAFFER is the TWENTY-EIGHT year old from EMERYVILLE, CA. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said, ❝ IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEWHERE JAMIE LEE WOULD BE LURED INTO. ❞ they claim ANY HORROR MOVIE WITH JAMIE LEE CURTIS IN IT is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would EXPLAIN TO THE KILLER THAT THERE WAS NO WAY HE MET THE CRITERIA FOR THE ‘FINAL GIRL’… JUST TO BE KILLED IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS SPEECH. their fears include HALLUCINATING, PARALYZATION and FIREWORKS, and they don’t know we know, but… HE MADE MONEY AS A DEALER WHILE HE WAS STILL WAITING FOR THE BAND TO TAKE OFF. hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ MUSE B from STRESSED OUT. ›

QUICK FACTS:

full name: david “ribs” isaiah shaffer

date of birth: december 1, 1992

*does not perfectly reflect the below Big Three zodiac chart because that’s so much math

zodiac big three: sagittarius sun, capricorn moon, pisces rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: drummer + backup songwriter + history of drug dealing

the song i listen to on repeat while i write the intro: “make or break” - bugzy malone

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: violence, mentions of drug dealing, very very very brief mention of self-harm (not the product of a mental illness which is why i forgot to include this until i looked at it again this morning - the product of wanting to keep a lie), very very brief mention of guns and fire in the ‘fears’ section

born to a very loving family bc i need a sunnier background hasfkljwas 

david was never EVER academically inclined. he’ll tell you it’s because he just wasn’t interested and was too involved in music and boxing, both of which will be gone over soon, but that wasn’t entirely true. he was also very busy working odd jobs days and nights as a kid and days and nights at successful businesses when he was 16+ (see: papa john’s)

his parents did own a music shop! they were clearly doing their part! but, in the digital era and the era of guitar center, they were only getting so much traction. they were also much too calm about it, at least outwardly, so david felt as though he needed to help.

but it is true that he spent a lot of time practicing music and boxing! as just mentioned, his parents owned a music store and were both very musically inclined. they taught him how to be, at the very least, INTERMEDIATE at as many instruments as possible. he can now confidently say that, if the band ever needed it, he could play the guitar, piano, bass, or saxophone. 

that being said, his instrument of choice was the drums. he began using jazz drummers, as well as various hip-hop beats, as his inspiration. his original inspirations were buddy rich, gene krupa, chico hamilton, art blakey, and the beats of grime and 90s rap.

it shows.

when he ventured into other genres, however, he began taking inspiration from nick mason, john bonham, neil peart, keith moon, ginger baker, karen carpenter, and ringo starr 

(i have a music theory + history lesson for you if you think ringo is a bad drummer ok - he was a “songwriter’s drummer,” which is much more important to being a drummer in a band than being technically skilled or being able to show off with complex patterns and, thus, overshadowing the song. that’s why the beatles continued asking ringo to play the drums on their songs, even after they broke up. john lennon never said “he’s not even the best drummer in the beatles” - a radio dj made that joke and people started taking it literally. love that.)

(also the same goes for nick mason but his drumming is rly only brought up when he’s brought up since pink floyd isn’t as talked about as the beatles)

ALSO!!! i have decided to be passionate about karen carpenter because girl won a 1975 poll that pit her against john bonham for best drummer and he got so mad and said she couldn’t last ten minutes with led zeppelin. the following is just alleged, but oh my god i hope it’s true: then she proceeded to compliment his drumming, say that she thinks it’s all very subjective, then got behind her set and played “babe i’m gonna leave you” while singing and not missing a single note. we have decided to stan forever.

he also took up boxing. as a kid, he was just practicing and taking any excess frustration out. when he turned 14, however, he found an opportunity in an underground circuit. he started fighting against other people, for real, and would be paid if he won the fight.

so: school from 8a-3p, drum practice from 3:30p-7:30p (i know), family from 8p-10p, boxing from 11p-2a.

his parents knew he boxed, but didn’t know it was as dangerous as it was. they assumed there were more safeguards in place..... but boy was bringing in a LOT of money for there to be a lot of safeguards in place. because of this, david NEVER let them see his matches.

when he was 16, he’d broken his ribs during one of the fights and refused to see a doctor over it. what did he say happened when his parents could TELL something was wrong? he said that he’d been mugged and beaten up. to support this theory, before he ‘showed’ it to them, he dug into himself with a knife to make it look like the muggers had a switchblade.

from there on out, he made everyone call him “ribs”

did his parents ever wonder where his excess income was coming from? DEFINITELY. he told them that, yes, his MINIATURE matches did bring in some money, but the rest of the money came from tips!! because people are clearly that generous!!

he also never showed them the full amount. he’d only give what was necessary, not out of selfishness, rather to keep his secret and save them from worrying about him. he put it in a savings account.

it should also be addressed that, during this time, he became friends with who would become the guitarist in his future band, joakim. he witnessed joakim fight a homophobic teenager and desperately wanted to join in... but his ribs were broken ahflskd

he continued boxing, even after being introduced to joakim’s college friend, gabe - the future singer of their band. that being said, they began jamming with each other and played in a few local circuits.

his parents were very encouraging of this and told him that he should go for this as a career opportunity. 

can you tell they were idealists?

he wanted to... but it was very impractical. by now, however, he was out of school (and he never went to college). his parents let him continue living with them since they were under the belief they were short on cash and it’d be difficult for him to find an affordable apartment under the papa john’s salary.

he decided to take his parents up on this... but, while he was waiting for his band to find success, their music store was closed down. as they both began looking desperately for new jobs, he realized that papa john’s and the fighting payment wasn’t quite enough anymore... so he started selling drugs.

he doesn’t keep his fighting a secret anymore, but he does keep his drug dealing a secret. he fears that it’ll perpetuate stereotypes.

during one of his band’s gigs, he and the others met their future bassist - the missing piece - rory. she was marginally younger than they were, but she was an extremely talented bassist and songwriter, so the lineup was finally complete and devil’s wine was formed.

when they began skyrocketing, he quit drug dealing. he also stopped the dangerous boxing, although he continues to... box safely. he began sending money back home after they really started succeeding. his mother got a teacher licensure in music and his father got the opportunity to own..... a guitar center.

if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

VERY IMPORTANT: uses a pearl custom kit, istanbul cymbals, aquarian heads, and vic firth sticks.

that was very important.

PERSONALITY INFO:

literally obsessed with jamie lee curtis. watching her movies has also made him very genre-savvy. 

would genuinely die for her.

is the epitome of bob belcher’s “oh my god.” in his band. they get off topic during practice/recording just ONCE?? queue “oh my god.” and the gif above.

isn’t necessarily ashamed of his past dealings (literally) - like, joakim knows - but is genuinely afraid of perpetuating the stereotype of the dirty black boy. he’s open about the rest of his life, but he’s convinced that if people learn he used to sell drugs, he would be setting people back. having a black drummer in a rock band that’s on the radio? he needs to keep up appearances!!

never wears shirts during concerts. has to show off his ribs and also drumming, with a bunch of lights directly on him, is an extreme exercise and guaranteed sweat machine. dresses like bugzy malone otherwise.

ahflskjd again,,, like adrian,,, look @ his chart ig alhkfjd

FEARS:

hallucinating: he hates not only the idea of losing his mind, but also the idea of having a skewed view of reality after he really... saw reality, you know? his uncle had schizophrenia and, while he rarely saw him, the thought of going through what his uncle had/has to go through terrifies him.

paralyzation: this was a constant worry of his during his boxing matches - he was terrified someone would wind up taking out a firearm and would shoot him into a state of paralysis. not to mention, all limbs are required for both drumming and boxing.... so.

fireworks: less deep than the others. the house next door to his was set on fire due to a firework display being too close. while no one died and most of the house was salvaged, the idea of losing anything he has is terrifying to him. also the sounds they make remind him of guns so?

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

ok,,, so unlike adrian,,, he lived in california,,, a state many other characters lived in. while some cities in california can be like,,,, seven hours away,,, IT’S STILL AN IMPROVEMENT, so i’ll list a few past connection ideas too!

fans

people who hate his music

people who’ve seen one of his matches

old friends

someone who was constantly in his parents’ music store

exes

fwb

ons

???? im bad at connections!!!!!! but im down for brainstorming and/or working off of urs!!!!!!

[wineanddinosaur]

Advanced Cicerone Chris Leguizamon Is Using Beer Education to Make the World a Better Place

It was the two-hour bus ride to and from his previous job at Stone Brewing Co. in Escondido, Calif., that gave Chris Leguizamon time to become one of only two Advanced Cicerones in San Diego. Armed with a collection of beer magazines and books like Randy Mosher’s “Tasting Beer: An Insider’s Guide to the World’s Greatest Drink,” Leguizamon honed his expertise as a craft beer expert, eventually becoming the education program manager at Pure Project, a 1% for the Planet Company and certified carbon and plastic-neutral organization known for ultra-complex and highly sought-after brews. He shares his knowledge with beer drinkers of all levels through an Instagram livestream series under his account @chris.thebeereducator, with a goal of helping San Diego become home to the most Cicerone-certified front-of-house staff anywhere else in the world.

Sharing knowledge comes naturally to Leguizamon. As a former brewery tour guide for six years, as well as a first generation Latino/Hispanic American with a degree in physics and passion for renewable energy, he’s as well versed in discussions about the diversity in beer styles as he is about diversity and social justice. After the #BlackoutTuesday initiative permeated Instagram last June, Leguizamon says he found himself avoiding discussions about beer in order to focus on conversations around equity (and the lack thereof) outside the beer industry.

“I could not fathom educating people about anything that pertains to this fizzy carbonated beverage without addressing real social issues, because that’s what the world is going through,” Leguizamon says. When responding to critics who say breweries should “stick to beer,” he says, “If you just think that life is about beer, you’re missing the point … Beer is made by someone with hands, that’s working, that also has three kids — there’s more to it [than beer].”

With Pure Project’s backing, Leguizamon shifted his educational efforts online. (He calls his employer “the best leadership company I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”) In the following interview, Leguizamon discusses his entry into beer, his upward trajectory, and his desire to empower others to make their own impacts.

Ed. note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

1. How, when, and why did you get into beer?

When I was 15, I was visiting my uncle in Bogota, Colombia. I’d never really had beer besides like, family gatherings when you’re like two years old (laughs). He brought in a mixed 6-pack, sits it right down in the living room, and says, ‘Chris, today we’re gonna drink the products of our country.’ He presented one — Club Colombia, which has won a bunch of awards — and told me to look at the color (yellow, fizzy, straw-like), smell it, and then I tasted it. It was nothing like soda, and I remember thinking, ‘Oh, God, this sucks!’

The second beer was Poker, and it had this attractive amber hue to it. The two didn’t look the same at all, so I tried it and it had this recognizable toast that reminded me of breakfast with my mom, and a touch of caramel. Colombians are attracted to caramel because of our obsession with arequipe. We put that on everything, so right away I thought it was way better than the other one.

At that point, I went down a rabbit hole of: Why does beer taste different? There are cultures behind this. There are centuries of science and art. I began wanting to read, wanting to learn, and indirectly change the stigma of what a Latino or a guy that looks like me is in beer. I’m a brown-skinned kid from one of the poorest cities in the nation (Reading, Pa.) and I want people to have a ‘Oh, holy smokes, this kid knows his stuff!’ type of mentality.

2. So when did you formally enter the beer industry?

In 2014, I worked at a brewpub in Pennsylvania called Chatty Monks, and at that point I was the only non-family member that was on staff; it was just a staff of six, including the three owners. I was this bushy, big-eyed 21-year-old, excited to finally be in craft beer and I would sing praises about flavors, pairings, and there came a point where like the guests were looking at me and they’re like, ‘Dude, it’s just beer. Why do you have so much passion behind this?’ It got to a point where I became an outlier in my own industry-slash-town. So I thought, ‘I’m gonna move to the place I like to vacation, which is San Diego,’ and I did in 2014. I remember thinking, ‘Holy shit, these people get it.’ I worked at Mission Brewery as a tour guide until 2015, moved to Stone Brewing until 2016, and then AleSmith Brewing Company until early 2019.

3. You’ve worked at a few big name breweries in San Diego. But you’ve talked about getting burnt out on the industry after a couple of negative encounters. What kept you in beer?

In 2019, I wanted to leave the beer industry, defeated. I was like, ‘Maybe I could get into bourbon, maybe get into coffee’ … but Kira Bouchard [currently the regional manager at Pure Project], who is my saving grace, was having coffee with me and asked what ‘beer adventures’ I was having. When I told her I was considering leaving the industry altogether, she encouraged me to apply to Pure Project, despite there being no open positions at the time.

Things fell into place: Someone left, I applied. I went through the whole interview process and the rest is history. I went from not wanting to smell a beer or talk about it to signing up for the Advanced Cicerone exam three months later.

4. What was the [Advanced Cicerone] exam study process like?

I studied for five hours a day. I would wake up at 5:30 a.m., put a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich in the microwave, and then coffee. I’d just sit there every single morning and by 6 a.m. the books were open. I sacrificed a lot. I’ve missed out on a lot, but that determination kind of got me back into the rhythm.

5. Why is beer education so important to you?

I’m very team-oriented, and I hate when people talk down to beertenders or try to stump them, mainly because of gender. That ticks me off. A lot of people try to stump [female bartenders] and I can’t stand that, so I want to empower everyone to be able to hold their own.

6. After you achieved Advanced Cicerone, how did you start to share your knowledge?

We at Pure Project all push each other to be better, and the way that it evolved was I was homebrewing this BrewDog beer through their DIY Dog program [an annual compilation of open-source homebrew recipes], and I asked Mike Czech [Pure Project director of distribution], ‘What if we do something like this at Pure Project? We’re releasing two new beers every two weeks. What if you announce the title, the ABV, and three important keywords the beertenders can use?’ But Mike tailored it so well; he cut out the fluff. I’m very raw with my ideas and I need someone to edit, and Mike made it happen.

At the same time, Matt [Robar, Pure’s co-founder] saw potential in me because I was a tour guide for so long. He asked me to jump on an IG Live, since we were about to release Hazelsaurus Rex and a barrel-aged sour. It was one of the rawest IG Lives ever, I’d never had the two beers and Winslow [Sawyer, Pure’s head brewer], who is like a foot taller than me, pours the beers and my face lights up. I’m just geeking out. When we cut, they thought I did a pretty good job, so they asked me to do it again the next week. And it went from there!

7. How did that segment on Pure Project’s Instagram transform into what you’re personally doing, and how did it change during Covid-19?

I started a beer account called Chris the Beer Educator, and the first video you find is literally me in the back of my girlfriend’s backyard, laying out the intention of this whole virtual education thing. It was literally just to highlight everyone who got me to the point where I’m at now — never to focus on me; it’s to highlight other people and what they’re doing.

Then Covid hits and I’m sitting there antsy, wanting to keep teaching people about beer. So this spawned off that IG Live that Pure Project had me do for a couple months. I thought if I can convince people to read one of the most fundamental books, which is ‘Tasting Beer,’ then hopefully people will follow along. It made me want to read that book again, and it kind of grew into its own beast.

Weirdly, people have told me I built a brand. I didn’t mean to — I literally just wanted to empower people that were just at home during quarantine, not knowing what the world is gonna look like, to read ‘Tasting Beer’ and show how amazing San Diego beer professionals are. It’s San Diego craft beer in its rawest form.

8. What’s one episode that stands out to you?

When George [Thornton, owner of Home Brewing Company] and I were talking, things were flowing, and we were talking about Black is Beautiful — that was just the most human side of me, and George. There was a lot of frustration with what’s happening in the world, a lot of ‘How can people not just want to listen?’ George and I had that one moment where we both had pain, we both had frustration, and this was the least we could do being beer professionals, just being human, is telling people, ‘Listen, we know that you feel attacked, but just stop yelling back — just listen, learn, read a book about what’s happening. Try to understand people’s perspective that you don’t understand. They’re not part of the same walk as you. Celebrate that diversity as we like to celebrate diversity in beer styles.’

9. Ultimately, what’s your goal in the beer industry?

The main goal of Chris the Beer Educator is to have everyone pass their Certified Cicerone and to get that Level 2. I’ve always, always, always wanted to have people go from Level 1 to Level 2 and say, Chris was that person when everyone else says ‘Just do it yourself,’ he didn’t mind that I messaged him and said, ‘Hey could you clear up this section for me?’

I asked a lot of people for help during the Advanced Cicerone studying, and I got a good amount of ‘nos.’ Then there’s those people that mentored me, and I want to be that person for San Diego, so that we have the most Certified Cicerones, the most [Advanced] Cicerones, and ideally the most Master Cicerones in the nation. Imagine San Diego not just having the most amount of breweries — that’s nice — but the most educated staff anywhere, where everyone’s really on top of their game. Making it both female and male, Latino, person of color, Black, Asian, whatever it may be to diversify. That’s the dream, honestly.

The article Advanced Cicerone Chris Leguizamon Is Using Beer Education to Make the World a Better Place appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/chris-leguizamon-beer-education/

[johnboothus]

Advanced Cicerone Chris Leguizamon Is Using Beer Education to Make the World a Better Place

It was the two-hour bus ride to and from his previous job at Stone Brewing Co. in Escondido, Calif., that gave Chris Leguizamon time to become one of only two Advanced Cicerones in San Diego. Armed with a collection of beer magazines and books like Randy Mosher’s “Tasting Beer: An Insider’s Guide to the World’s Greatest Drink,” Leguizamon honed his expertise as a craft beer expert, eventually becoming the education program manager at Pure Project, a 1% for the Planet Company and certified carbon and plastic-neutral organization known for ultra-complex and highly sought-after brews. He shares his knowledge with beer drinkers of all levels through an Instagram livestream series under his account @chris.thebeereducator, with a goal of helping San Diego become home to the most Cicerone-certified front-of-house staff anywhere else in the world.

Sharing knowledge comes naturally to Leguizamon. As a former brewery tour guide for six years, as well as a first generation Latino/Hispanic American with a degree in physics and passion for renewable energy, he’s as well versed in discussions about the diversity in beer styles as he is about diversity and social justice. After the #BlackoutTuesday initiative permeated Instagram last June, Leguizamon says he found himself avoiding discussions about beer in order to focus on conversations around equity (and the lack thereof) outside the beer industry.

“I could not fathom educating people about anything that pertains to this fizzy carbonated beverage without addressing real social issues, because that’s what the world is going through,” Leguizamon says. When responding to critics who say breweries should “stick to beer,” he says, “If you just think that life is about beer, you’re missing the point … Beer is made by someone with hands, that’s working, that also has three kids — there’s more to it [than beer].”

With Pure Project’s backing, Leguizamon shifted his educational efforts online. (He calls his employer “the best leadership company I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”) In the following interview, Leguizamon discusses his entry into beer, his upward trajectory, and his desire to empower others to make their own impacts.

Ed. note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

1. How, when, and why did you get into beer?

When I was 15, I was visiting my uncle in Bogota, Colombia. I’d never really had beer besides like, family gatherings when you’re like two years old (laughs). He brought in a mixed 6-pack, sits it right down in the living room, and says, ‘Chris, today we’re gonna drink the products of our country.’ He presented one — Club Colombia, which has won a bunch of awards — and told me to look at the color (yellow, fizzy, straw-like), smell it, and then I tasted it. It was nothing like soda, and I remember thinking, ‘Oh, God, this sucks!’

The second beer was Poker, and it had this attractive amber hue to it. The two didn’t look the same at all, so I tried it and it had this recognizable toast that reminded me of breakfast with my mom, and a touch of caramel. Colombians are attracted to caramel because of our obsession with arequipe. We put that on everything, so right away I thought it was way better than the other one.

At that point, I went down a rabbit hole of: Why does beer taste different? There are cultures behind this. There are centuries of science and art. I began wanting to read, wanting to learn, and indirectly change the stigma of what a Latino or a guy that looks like me is in beer. I’m a brown-skinned kid from one of the poorest cities in the nation (Reading, Pa.) and I want people to have a ‘Oh, holy smokes, this kid knows his stuff!’ type of mentality.

2. So when did you formally enter the beer industry?

In 2014, I worked at a brewpub in Pennsylvania called Chatty Monks, and at that point I was the only non-family member that was on staff; it was just a staff of six, including the three owners. I was this bushy, big-eyed 21-year-old, excited to finally be in craft beer and I would sing praises about flavors, pairings, and there came a point where like the guests were looking at me and they’re like, ‘Dude, it’s just beer. Why do you have so much passion behind this?’ It got to a point where I became an outlier in my own industry-slash-town. So I thought, ‘I’m gonna move to the place I like to vacation, which is San Diego,’ and I did in 2014. I remember thinking, ‘Holy shit, these people get it.’ I worked at Mission Brewery as a tour guide until 2015, moved to Stone Brewing until 2016, and then AleSmith Brewing Company until early 2019.

3. You’ve worked at a few big name breweries in San Diego. But you’ve talked about getting burnt out on the industry after a couple of negative encounters. What kept you in beer?

In 2019, I wanted to leave the beer industry, defeated. I was like, ‘Maybe I could get into bourbon, maybe get into coffee’ … but Kira Bouchard [currently the regional manager at Pure Project], who is my saving grace, was having coffee with me and asked what ‘beer adventures’ I was having. When I told her I was considering leaving the industry altogether, she encouraged me to apply to Pure Project, despite there being no open positions at the time.

Things fell into place: Someone left, I applied. I went through the whole interview process and the rest is history. I went from not wanting to smell a beer or talk about it to signing up for the Advanced Cicerone exam three months later.

4. What was the [Advanced Cicerone] exam study process like?

I studied for five hours a day. I would wake up at 5:30 a.m., put a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich in the microwave, and then coffee. I’d just sit there every single morning and by 6 a.m. the books were open. I sacrificed a lot. I’ve missed out on a lot, but that determination kind of got me back into the rhythm.

5. Why is beer education so important to you?

I’m very team-oriented, and I hate when people talk down to beertenders or try to stump them, mainly because of gender. That ticks me off. A lot of people try to stump [female bartenders] and I can’t stand that, so I want to empower everyone to be able to hold their own.

6. After you achieved Advanced Cicerone, how did you start to share your knowledge?

We at Pure Project all push each other to be better, and the way that it evolved was I was homebrewing this BrewDog beer through their DIY Dog program [an annual compilation of open-source homebrew recipes], and I asked Mike Czech [Pure Project director of distribution], ‘What if we do something like this at Pure Project? We’re releasing two new beers every two weeks. What if you announce the title, the ABV, and three important keywords the beertenders can use?’ But Mike tailored it so well; he cut out the fluff. I’m very raw with my ideas and I need someone to edit, and Mike made it happen.

At the same time, Matt [Robar, Pure’s co-founder] saw potential in me because I was a tour guide for so long. He asked me to jump on an IG Live, since we were about to release Hazelsaurus Rex and a barrel-aged sour. It was one of the rawest IG Lives ever, I’d never had the two beers and Winslow [Sawyer, Pure’s head brewer], who is like a foot taller than me, pours the beers and my face lights up. I’m just geeking out. When we cut, they thought I did a pretty good job, so they asked me to do it again the next week. And it went from there!

7. How did that segment on Pure Project’s Instagram transform into what you’re personally doing, and how did it change during Covid-19?

I started a beer account called Chris the Beer Educator, and the first video you find is literally me in the back of my girlfriend’s backyard, laying out the intention of this whole virtual education thing. It was literally just to highlight everyone who got me to the point where I’m at now — never to focus on me; it’s to highlight other people and what they’re doing.

Then Covid hits and I’m sitting there antsy, wanting to keep teaching people about beer. So this spawned off that IG Live that Pure Project had me do for a couple months. I thought if I can convince people to read one of the most fundamental books, which is ‘Tasting Beer,’ then hopefully people will follow along. It made me want to read that book again, and it kind of grew into its own beast.

Weirdly, people have told me I built a brand. I didn’t mean to — I literally just wanted to empower people that were just at home during quarantine, not knowing what the world is gonna look like, to read ‘Tasting Beer’ and show how amazing San Diego beer professionals are. It’s San Diego craft beer in its rawest form.

8. What’s one episode that stands out to you?

When George [Thornton, owner of Home Brewing Company] and I were talking, things were flowing, and we were talking about Black is Beautiful — that was just the most human side of me, and George. There was a lot of frustration with what’s happening in the world, a lot of ‘How can people not just want to listen?’ George and I had that one moment where we both had pain, we both had frustration, and this was the least we could do being beer professionals, just being human, is telling people, ‘Listen, we know that you feel attacked, but just stop yelling back — just listen, learn, read a book about what’s happening. Try to understand people’s perspective that you don’t understand. They’re not part of the same walk as you. Celebrate that diversity as we like to celebrate diversity in beer styles.’

9. Ultimately, what’s your goal in the beer industry?

The main goal of Chris the Beer Educator is to have everyone pass their Certified Cicerone and to get that Level 2. I’ve always, always, always wanted to have people go from Level 1 to Level 2 and say, Chris was that person when everyone else says ‘Just do it yourself,’ he didn’t mind that I messaged him and said, ‘Hey could you clear up this section for me?’

I asked a lot of people for help during the Advanced Cicerone studying, and I got a good amount of ‘nos.’ Then there’s those people that mentored me, and I want to be that person for San Diego, so that we have the most Certified Cicerones, the most [Advanced] Cicerones, and ideally the most Master Cicerones in the nation. Imagine San Diego not just having the most amount of breweries — that’s nice — but the most educated staff anywhere, where everyone’s really on top of their game. Making it both female and male, Latino, person of color, Black, Asian, whatever it may be to diversify. That’s the dream, honestly.

The article Advanced Cicerone Chris Leguizamon Is Using Beer Education to Make the World a Better Place appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/chris-leguizamon-beer-education/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/advanced-cicerone-chris-leguizamon-is-using-beer-education-to-make-the-world-a-better-place

[norman-reedus-gossip-mod]

bulk

--mod--

Because I'm a lazy ass and didn't want to transfer stuff in to comments .

Anon: Was DK at NR's art show opening today? --mod-- Not that I saw





Anon: 
I love Daryl but I was never a fan of Norman. Trust me, I've tried. I even tried watching a few of his movies including BS but I'm sorry imo they were crap movies. His only claim to semi-fame is Daryl/TWD & even then a lot of ppl I know don't watch or even recognize his name. His last barely legal gf & now DK are an example of the REAL Norman. He's not what he made himself out to be to his fans. He fooled them that he's an upstanding guy when in reality he's far from it. Don't fall for it!!!

Anon: 
Dk and Norman are laughing their asses off behind everyone's backs probably thinking we are all dumb and some of you seriously support this behavior and say it's okay. It's shameful disgusting & embarrassing nothing more
                                                                                        --mod-- I'm not exactly sure why everyone thinks they'd be laughing at the fans. I'm not being a dick just curious 

Anon: 
There's just no way she was there he was so busy and today he's busy where is she?



Anon: 
I'm really disturbed by the horrible messages on Norman's IG.. people are so messed up! Regardless of what the truth is these messages just make his fans look insane!




Anon: 
Wow, is it the same ten hateful women posting here about liar Norman and evil Diane? Because elsewhere in social media, people, mature people, are saying this is his business and if he's happy, then so are they. How refreshing. Maybe some of you should expand your horizons. --mod-- Mine are super expanded. Apparently we don't go to the same social media because there is nastiness on all of them.




Anon: 
Here we go Diane isn't his friend showing up to support him for his gallery opening tonight since she isn't even there. Probably waiting for him in their hotel room. I'm actually heavily disgusted with the game theyre playing.



Anon: 
Is that Diane at the opening on shadinyc ig story? That's exactly what the blinds said would happen.
                                                                                              --mod-- Nah that's JDM's wife




Anon: 

Well seems like DK isn't at Norman's gallery opening so she definitely isn't in Barcelona to support his work. Plus they wouldn't hide like this if it's only "friends" hanging out. Come on, some still don't want to see that Norman lied cold in you all's faces..                                                                                        .
--mod-- People are allowed to not believe something anon. We all have different thresholds as to what we need to make a decision.  For instance a picture taken from a distance isn't enough for me personally. But I respect the fact that it's enough for others and try and not to talk down to them 



Anon: 
DK doesn't seem to be at NR's art show opening today. Why do you think that is? --mod-- Maybe she's not there or maybe she wasn't invited.





Anon: 
I have studied those pictures a little closer and noticed something. DK is thin as a stick - her things are practically just bones with muscles and skin on top. The woman climbing on the bike is slim too, but her things seems wider. And then she's even wearing dark jeans that's supposed to make you look thinner. I might be wrong but unless DK gained a couple of pounds over less than a week I don't think that's her




Anon: 
Mod, if they are actually together, do you think we are going to have to see it now? Do we actually have to be forced to look at her attending his art shows and walking red carpets with him? He doesn't do that stuff! I could cry at that thought alone I'm sorry Norman but I can't do that. I didn't sign up as your fan to have to put up with her and her trolling either. Please say it's not true --mod-- If they are then I'd assume we'd maybe see more of them. But I'll make this promise I will keep her to the barest of minimums on the blog. 😉

Anon: 
Mod do you think it's possible that they really are only friends? I mean why would he make an official denial like he did only two weeks ago if he was with her? It seems so weird if he did that. It makes him out to look like a complete liar. Also people were saying that he was taking pics with fans while she was there? If that's true, why would he do that with her of all people if she they were more than friends?
                                                                                                                     --mod-- I think it's totally possible they are still friends. He has friends that he's been out with and have stood back while he took pictures with fans. What strikes me as weird is no one that has said she was there took one picture of her not even a creeper..




Anon: 
I get that people are pissed but the fact is, none of us personally know N or DK. We only see their public personas. We have no idea who they truly are and have no basis on which to judge their relationship. Even if we feel we do, it still wouldn't give us the right to interfere. It's their business and none of ours. And if N is making a "mistake" somehow, it's still his to make. Respect the boundaries between fandom and real life. And if you must leave the fandom, then just leave.                                                                                                           .
--mod-- Fair point.



Anon: To people losing their shit - ever considered that N has 'lied' not to be deceitful or because of JJ, but because he KNEW that the batshit elements of his fanbase would react exactly as they have? Maybe he's keeping it quiet purely to protect DK and himself from lunatic fans who think he owes them something.




Anon: He has left up all supportive comments but deleted others. Even respectful ones just showing disapointment. I think the blind is right he will go public with her. Way to antagonize norman. --mod-- I've actually seen lots of comments that aren't supportive. He did deleted a bunch of the really nasty ones.




Anon: Mod Norman was out last night I think, was DK with him??                                          -mod--                                                                                                                                                 Not that I've heard




Anon: 
Dk and Norman both silent on SM since days. You all love to call it coincidence. I hope you all also know deep down it isn't. If they were just friends they wouldn't have to be silent for days. Reminds a lot of Lapland huuh? Let's be honest here, Norman tried to safe his image by putting out a denial so he probably hoped people would stop watching their steps. Too bad it's not working. I so hope paps call them out and the next shitstorm is coming for him. He deserves nothing else if he lies.
                                                                    --mod--Can you give me a definition of silent on sm because he's little and followed people on ig and twitter




Anon: 
So several people said Norman was there with his girlfriend. We all know he met (secretly) up with ms. attention whore. what do people need more to see he lied big times in ya'lls faces just to make himself look better. I don't get how anyone can support his behavior. He claims to love honesty and hates cheating yet he's apparently the biggest liar. If I was a fan I would be more than disgusted and disappointed and would really think twice if I want to support such shit. Lying is a no go.                                                                                     --mod--People need different things to form an opinion and others just don't care




Anon: 
NR was out at some kind of bar last night, any idea if DK was with him?

--mod-- Haven't heard anything 




Anon: 

This is what we get for thinking a guy who had dated a 20 yr old when he was 44 had changed/matured!!! Ha, that's a fucking laugh!!! This guy NEVER had standards, morals & integrity so why'd we expect he'd suddenly posses them??? My mother always told me no matter how hard you try, you can't shine SHIT!!!! Norman will never change & he'll always go after the women who are either too young or total bitches. It's very telling just what kind of person he really is. --mod-- But some of his exs are really awesome women and super nice. Perhaps people are judging to much on his last few relationships . Also who would try and shine shit that's so gross




Anon: 

Funny how Norman is quiet on SM since DK arrived in Barcelona. He didn't post nor like in days.                                                                                     .
--mod-- But I think he did



Anon: I still adore Norman.But he acts blind and stupid right now.Maybe it's a midlife crisis.At this point of drama I wonder if it wouldn't have been the smarter decision to tell the truth right away.There would've been a shitstorm for a few weeks.NOW this hurting and hating goes on for nearly 2 years off and on.Unbearable. Diane?She's a insidious piece of poo.Made multiple attempts to nail Norman down and finally succeeded.I can see a wedding and a baby in the near future.It's that easy.
                                                                                        --mod-- Whys there gotta be a wedding and baby. Both of those are weird 



Anon:
I don’t know what to think about Norman anymore.. I’m okay with him being in a relationship with someone and being happy but… with DK… ugh. I wonder if he even knows how she calls the paps… does he even care that she does this? Does he care that she trolls his fans? Does he not realize what type of person she is? And I’ve noticed that when things arise with her, rumors fly or they’re spotted together- he seems to post photos of him with kids, make a wish foundation children, etc around the same time… And his Facebook page did that again tonight… several pics that have already been posted… but were posted again tonight of him with kids and charities… and it turned my stomach because it comes off extremely fake to me now, like he’s trying to get his image to be shown in a better light whenever the DK stuff hits the fan. I always thought of him as a good person but… now I don’t know what to think anymore because I went from thinking he really cares about his fans that are kids(I know he does care) but to somewhat use them to get his reputation to look better at these times… Ugh. :/

Anon: Did anyone thought that the blond girl jumping on NR was Hillary Burton (JDM's wife), she was in Barcelona with them and she does own boots and bag like the ones in the picture, they're not a special edition made for DK (other people can have the same). When I see how many IG accounts are created by so called "fans" to only spread rumours and hate toward NR and DK, I believe this storm won't stop, so I hope you have lots of whiskies and nachos mod. --mod-- That was my first thought. Irish nachos and whiskey all weekend

Anon: Did DK go to Norman's exhibit opening tonight? Is that her in Shadi's video right after he pans from JDM? --mod-- Didn't see her there

Anon: One would think if DK was only a friend for Norman she'd be officially invited to his gallery opening. Apparently she isn't there. Sorry but that makes it all the more obvious they are not just friends .

Anon: Did DK go to Norman's exhibit opening tonight? Is that her in Shadi's video right after he pans from JDM? --mod-- No it's JDM's wife I believe

Anon: Funny how DK isn't at his opening show if she was only in Spain to support him. If they were only friends why isn't she just official attending his opening so they could easily prove they're friends. Her being not there makes everything even more obvious. She's hiding and waiting for him somewhere so they can keep going laughing about us and screwing around further. --mod-- Maybe p, if she was in Spain, they decided is was best she not attended because have you seen the hate. Also why would they be laughing

[brittanyinterviews]

Eben Benson, Managing Editor of Juxtapoz Magazine

Eben Benson, Managing Editor of Juxtapoz Magazine

---

This interview was conducted via email in November 2018.

---

Brittany: Can you tell me a bit about yourself?

Eben: Hi! My name is Eben Benson, I’m 25 years old, and I’m managing editor of Juxtapoz magazine. I’m from Gorham, Maine, but live in SF now. I generally take things one day at a time.

Brittany: How did you get into writing and editing? Have you always been interested in writing?

Eben: I’ve actually never been much of a writer. I’d try writing stuff for myself in high school, but then I’d burn it because I’m dramatic and also have had a hard time creating certain types of things since I was young. I did okay in English class, and have always been a pretty strong reader, but I would get really distracted and bored in school so I never dedicated much time to it. I became a substantially better writer when I became more engaged with history and politics, which I ended up majoring in at UMass, where I went to college. So, expository writing has been more my thing.

Brittany: How did you come into your role as the Managing Editor of Juxtapoz? Did you have prior experience in publishing?

Eben: I didn’t! I was managing the web store for Thrasher magazine, which isn’t an editorial role but is in the same office as Juxtapoz. One day, my boss came downstairs and asked if I wanted to work at Juxtapoz, and I was like, “Wait, what? Seriously? I don’t know how to edit. I feel like I barely know how to read? I don’t know anything about art?” and everyone was like, “Eh, you’ll figure it out.”

Brittany: Can you describe your day-to-day in this role?

Eben: Basically I get into the office at 8 and leave at 4:30, between those hours it’s a toss-up. I spend a lot of time posting stuff on our site and social media platforms. Other than that, I edit the print mag, plan events, interview artists, check out new books, respond to Instagram DMs, and read through, like, 200 emails a day.

Brittany: You've interviewed quite a few artists about their work. In your opinion, what makes a great interview?

Eben: It’s tough, because I’m sure I drop the ball on good questions sometimes, but I think when someone writes back something funny and unexpected, they make the interview so much better. The work of course has to look nice. I hate when people send me shitty photos of their amazing art. I wanna be like, “Where are you located? I’m going to go buy a camera right now and get some higher res images because I know your art looks better than this.”

Brittany: In an interview with the graffiti artist known as SLUTO, you mentioned that you crowd-sourced questions on Instagram and scrolled through 150 of his post recent posts. Can you elaborate further on how you prepare for an interview and what research it might entail?

Eben: Yeah, I usually go deep on the IG. I’ll be back in like, 2013, looking at heavily-filtered photos of artists and their high school friends, or their emo phase, or something like that. I spend a lot of time looking at their work and their progression. I love seeing how an artist’s work has changed over the years. I’ll usually check and see if they’ve done other interviews, to make sure I don’t ask redundant questions. Thankfully, the internet has short-term memory loss, so even if I ask some of the same questions, it’ll be new to the reader.

Brittany: Have you always been a big fan of art? Can you describe your first "art memory"?

Eben: Honestly, no. I grew up on music and skateboarding, and felt like critically successful or “fine art” was some exclusive club that I was actively excluded from. I had some people just really turn me off from art, kind of shaming me for not getting it, and then I’d try to “get” it, but since there’s nothing to “get,” of course I never got close.

I think my earliest art memory was looking at a Picasso at the Portland Museum of Art (in Maine) and thinking, “Oh, this is apparently the good stuff.” I had to have been like 6, and I think I hated it. Growing up on a farm, a lot of “high culture” is really distant and kind of unattainable. I associated art with yuppie intellectuals, which isn’t entirely false, but they aren’t entirely bad. Haha.

I went to a drawing class in college because my friend was modeling for it, and this girl I was dating at the time laughed at all the sketches I made. She ended up talking hella shit on me after I started working at Juxtapoz because she went to art school and I didn’t. I think it was people like her who made me think art was bullshit, and there are plenty of people like that. I just don’t hang out with them anymore.

Brittany: Who are artists we should know about, particularly any local ones in the Bay Area?

Eben: Wheeew. Well, I am going to ramble here. In no particular order: Jeffrey Cheung, Oliver Hawk Holden, Calvin Wong, Muzae Sesay, Casey Grey, Yetunde Olagbaju, Kristin Farr, Lena Gustafson, Nychos, Joe Roberts (LSD World Peace), George Rocha, Paige Gausman, Alán González, Ellie Andrews, Max Stern, Olivia Krause, Elizabeth Yoshiko Schmidt, Cannon Dill, Brett Flanigan, Anson Cyr, Austin Leong, Maryam Yousif, Marcela Pardo Ariza, Meryl Pataky, Kellen Chasuk, Anika Chasuk, Laura Rokas, Robbie Api, Michelle Fleck, Terry Hoff, Bryon Christman, Yarrow Slaps, Joonbug, Odysseus Wolken, Ryan Whelan, Liz Hernández, Sofie Ramos, Tim Diet, and damn, a few more. The Bay Area is the shit, there is so much good stuff happening here right now.

That’s more the younger up-and-coming crowd. Then you have the legends obviously: Alicia McCarthy, Barry McGee, Rigo23, Jeremy Fish, John DeFazio. There are more I’m forgetting…

Brittany: I think you use social media, specifically Twitter and Instagram, in a fascinating way. Although both are public accounts, you discuss very real, potentially sensitive, and very personal issues around topics like mental health that are still often seen as off-limits. Is using social media in this very public way a conscious effort? Can you speak more about how you approach using social media?

Eben: I think it’s odd that my generation has been on social media for more than half our lives. Starting out on Myspace, AIM, and forums like 4chan, etc, the internet definitely became a very normal part of my life at an early age. Then, moving on to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, Slap magazine, etc. became organic too. I hit my self-conscious adolescence at the same time the internet was in its adolescent phase, so I was very fragmented in the way I used it. I would post the most random shit, trying to keep it “safe” and not, like, overshare. I used to be freaked out a lot, thinking of every person who might see anything I do.

Around 2013, I started opening up a little more, I think that was when I got Instagram. I definitely used it in a lot more boring way, just not as self-conscious as before. In 2015, I got super depressed and started just pouring it out online. I was spiraling hard, but it was nice to have some company and to feel a little bit seen, even if I was being annoying in my head. Then at one point, I kinda synthesized the self-conscious and manic-sharing, where I recognize that seeking validation will only solve half the problem, but also that no one has to follow me, so I have the “right” to be as personal as I want, and if someone really hates it, they can unfollow me, and that’s fine. I think my progression in how I use social media reflects my own mental health progression. Coming to terms with who I am has made me more comfortable sharing what I’m going through, or what I think, and at the same time, the internet is now growing up in a way, too, where we collectively know that whatever you post will be quickly forgotten anyway, at no fault of our own, so why not just live it up online? Four years ago I would have been bummed out that nearly everyone reading this interview has clicked out by now, but me at 25 is entirely fine with that and I’m having fun talking about myself. Haha.

Brittany: What can readers expect to see from you in the future?

Eben: Hopefully I’ll introduce people to new, challenging, and talented artists that make work they like. Hopefully they can get a few laughs or feel some comradery in the feelings or thoughts that we share, and hopefully at some point I can make a big enough mark on the world that I will leave it slightly nicer than it would have been if I never materialized.

In the meantime, like I said at the beginning, I’ll be taking it day by day. Thanks, Brittany <3

---

Photo provided by Eben Benson.

---

Special thanks to Eben for discussing his work at Juxtapoz with us. You can follow Eben on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

[kyasuriin-notes]

Answering Random Questions

What are your likes?

Nature. Books. Kittens. 

What kind of personality do you have?

Melancholic-Phlegmatic.

What are your biggest pet peeves?

People who smoke in public places (or people who smoke, period). People who throw their trash anywhere. People who don't cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze. People who pester me when I don’t feel like talking.

What did you dream of becoming when you were young?

To be a polyglot.

Which country would you like to visit?

Madagascar. France. The Netherlands. South Korea. New Zealand. USA (Just to watch the NBA playoffs) 

What is the perfect place for you?

Anywhere safe and tranquil with the view of the stars or sunset.

What kind of weather condition do you like?

Cold and dry. (I hate hot and humid).

What are you scared of?

Heights. Cockroaches. 

What sports do you play?

Chess. Badminton. Table tennis. (I'm not good at them, though).

What kind of person do you like spending most of your time with?

A person who always makes me laugh.

Who is the most important person in your life next to God?

Mom.

Are you a creative or a logical thinker?

I'd say both.

What are some things you are good at?

Arts and crafts. 

What is supposed to be a secret but everybody seem to know about?

I have had a crush on RV, a physicist, since 2008.

What do you hate the most about yourself?

Being indecisive, overthinker, and pessimist. 

Who was your first celebrity crush and who's the most recent one?

Hyun Bin, a Korean actor. Klay Thompson, an athlete. 

What story would you like to share about your first love?

I was his first love and he was mine. He never knew I loved him, though. Back then, I was the only one whom he had his eyes on. He surely loved me and had waited for me for about four years. Most of my memories in high school were about him. But I was a man-hater for some reason and so he might have thought that for that long years of pursuing me, he didn't stand much of a chance. We were about to graduate in high school and we'd probably part ways so I decided to tell him I'd give him a chance — I was secretly falling for him anyway. It was my birthday when I came to school, ready to tell him everything but to my surprise, he and my best friend were already in a relationship that same day. Some of my friends told me that he might have done it just so he could ruin my birthday and to give a signal that he had finally given up. He had been in three succeeding relationships since then but I hadn't had one until I finished college in 2012. One of my old friends told me that he was constantly asking about me during the time I was away (I moved to Manila to study for college). I never knew that until then. I saw him just recently as I happened to be on the same public transport with him. I wasn't sure if he saw me. What I was sure of was that I had completely moved on.

What was the last thing you talked about in a deep conversation with someone?

Life. People. Relationships. Career. Self-fulfillment. 

What is your biggest regret or disappointment?

When I did not enroll in any review center prior to taking the board exam. When the results were out, I saw that I lag behind top ten.

What was the most recent event that you got frustrated about?

So... I knew this person for years because he used to be the emcee in the youth fellowship I used to attend when I was in college. I was a complete stranger to him but I knew him a bit. Few months ago, I saw his instagram account by chance when I was browsing for pictures of nature (which I would spend time looking at on instagram). I browsed his gallery and I was in awe of his nature photographs. But more than that, I was captivated and moved by every caption (turned piece of writing) he had in each photo. I then hit like on each of which amazed me. Surprisingly, he sent me a follow request and a private message. He must have browsed my gallery as well because he said I had a nice ig. We went on a short conversation for a few days and then he suddenly asked me out. I was also curious about him so I did not hesitate to tell him I'd love to — firstly, because I knew he's a Christian so he won't do me any harm, and secondly, I was really interested to go out with him because I find him a perfect fit. That was actually the first time that I agreed to go out with someone I barely knew. So there... He told me one night that he was going to our place the next day and asked me to tour him around the city. I was ready and excited to meet him but then I hadn't heard from him since the night he told me he was going to visit. He obviously stood me up on that day! *insert 20 different disgruntled emojis* I didn't ask why he didn't show up. Why would I? Haha. 

*What’s more frustrating is that I’m still looking forward to meeting him. LOL!*

Do you like the beach or the mountains?

I like both because I love nature. (But I prefer hiking and trekking than swimming, which I particularly dislike).

What is your biggest achievement?

I do not have much for myself. But to hear my students tell me that I am the best teacher they've ever had, I consider it as one. 

Are you usually early or late?

Late. I’m not a morning person.

When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?

Relationships. Family problems. Personal struggles.

What’s the best way to start the day?

Pray and thank God that you’ve got to live another day.

Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?

RV. He’s my ultimate crush (for more than a decade now). He’s a DOST scholar and, I believe, a polymath. He’s good at English and Science and Math. He’s my batchmate. He’s a physics educator who’s already doing his PhD at 26. He had presented his academic papers abroad and had traveled to many places in and out of the country. (I know many things about him but he doesn’t even know I exist. LOL)

What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?

“When will you ever have a boyfriend?” 

What could you give a 60-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation? 

Most topics in biology and some topics in chemistry.

What quirks do you have?

I like animals only in their cutest form; I always wish they won’t grow up lol. I hate wearing pants; it’s so uncomfortable. I've got a sense of precognition or clairvoyance or whatever that’s called as; some people (usually the ones whom I haven’t seen for ages) would cross my mind all of a sudden, with no particular reason, and shortly afterward, they either appear out of nowhere or reach out to me through SNS. 

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

“Maybe there isn’t anything you can’t do well.”

Who inspires you to be better?

Jesus.

What is your biggest dream?

To be a philanthropist.