#and at the end she would never forgive or forget. But she slowly learns to accept it

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack Chapter 1

Trigger Warnings: None

Weeks had gone by and it was nearly December. The wolves had changed in who they were. Jeongin became a tougher alpha and spent many weeks training to his full potential, but he also learned to be a better mate to Y/N. He was still making it up to her. Seungmin was still as cocky as ever and spent more time researching the dark side of werewolf lore in case they ended up in a tragic situation again. Felix was sensitive if not more sensitive after what happened and felt more protective of all the wolves so he offered to take part in more training, unlike Jisung who became glued to the side of Y/N. Jisung was far too in love with Y/N and loved to express that as he helped her around the house. Jisung made sure to always tell her she looked beautiful and made a point to kiss her scar first before her lips. Changbin was now on a course to look after werewolves as his sister Jaehee realised how useless Changbin was at saving his own omega. Changbin wasn't great but he could now stitch a minor cut. Minho on the other hand grew colder, he was hurting the most out of all of them. He still did his usual stuff but stayed out of debates and never gave his opinion. Him and Y/N were still not alright. They never spoke to each other unless it was a 'good morning' or a 'thank you'. Minho lost a lot of trust with Y/N and some of the others, but her words cut deep and he wasn't on the path of forgiveness yet. Hyunjin had gone back to his cold self and spent time in his art room, but still made time for Y/N.Chan had woken up but was bedridden as his ribs were still not healing but he was fine. He was pissed for the first twenty-four hours when he found out about Y/N's mission of death, but he got over it, knowing she was fine. He was happier when she came in to look after him, he appreciated her omegaing him but he knew it was tiring her out because she too was slowly healing.

Then there was Y/N she healed eventually but was still bandaged up. Spiritually she was damaged and Hyunjin's soul was trying to repair hers but it was too exhausting for him so she asked him to stop. Y/N wasn't as active as she had liked to be but still made a point to get up and see her wolves, despite Jisung being stuck to her. Not one of them had asked her about that night and it almost became a taboo subject. It was almost silently forbidden to be discussed. Y/N wanted to bring it up to apologise but when she did they would wave her off and tell her it's fine. Still, she knew Minho and Jeongin were the two she massively owed an apology to, but getting them alone was going to be harder. Minho was going to be her biggest challenge but she was going to start off strong by writing him a letter in case he refused to hear her apology and then giving him the flowers. By flowers, she meant the ones she picked from the garden and put into the vase after she turfed out the others. When Y/N came back into the kitchen she saw Minho prepping dinner. He was aware she walked into the kitchen and usually, he doesn't speak unless she speaks first. Y/N had to admit she felt incredibly nervous speaking to him and it was mainly because she hated hearing what she had done wrong. Y/N knew and understood her actions but hearing them made her slightly uncomfortable and defensive. "Minho?" Y/N called as she stood there awkwardly watching him. "Hmm?" Minho acknowledged her but did not look at her so Y/N decided he was comfortable with whatever she was going to say. "I wanted to say I'm sorry okay? Just hear me out and don't say anything. I only want you to listen." Y/N waited for him but he said nothing, making her roll her eyes. "I am sorry for not being grateful for your efforts. I know you worked hard to help and you did more than what I realised and I appreciate that. I guess I wanted to help and, anyway that's not the point. Forget that part. The main thing I wanted to apologise was for using your insecurity against you. I know it was low and I didn't mean it. I'm not good at apologies so I picked some flowers and wrote a letter of apology which I want you to read."

Y/N almost cursed herself at her botched apology. She completely messed it up but there was nothing she could do now except leave the letter on the table and leave him alone, which she did. Y/N left the kitchen and was about to head up to see Chan when Changbin entered the room in his medical clothes. Y/N greeted the beta with a gentle hug which Changbin was grateful for. Y/N knew Changbin wasn't really enjoying the hospital work and studying with his sister, he would rather be at the gym and then play his x-box. Changbin threw his bag down and kicked on his shoes while holding Y/N as he nuzzled her face against his, before pecking her lips. "Shall we go nurse Channie?" Y/N giggled as she kissed him again. "Let me unwind baby and then I'll come right up," Changbin whispered. Y/N nodded and headed up to see Chan who was idly staring up at the ceiling. It made Y/N laugh at how bored he looked. He was completely fed up with being stuck in the bedroom but his right leg was struggling to heal. "Felix said he might take my stitches out soon," Y/N said as she walked over to him and sat on his bed. Chan smiled up at her as he reached for her hand to hold. He loved it when she came to visit him. Admittedly, Chan sometimes got lonely since he was cooped up in the same four walls. "I want to tell you something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way baby. You know I love you." Chan said softly. "Oh no. Uh. Uh. Whatever it is Mr alpha I ain't doing it." Y/N answered as she bopped his nose like a child. "I'm being serious, baby," Chan said causing Y/N to frown. Why was he being so serious? "I know you are feeling incredibly anxious because you are feeling unclaimed and I know I haven't claimed you fully because I wanted to wait until you could trust me and your body was fully healed, but I know at the moment I'm not going to be in any position to do a while and I don't want you to feel unstable in my pack. We all love you, despite the conflicts we do. Which is why I had a chat with Jeongin and I want him to claim you." Chan stated. "No. Jeongin is fuming with me and besides I am completely fine. I'm not feeling anxious, or disconnected in any way. I want to wait. I want you, besides you could lay there." Y/N hinted with a smirk as she pulled his duvet cover down. Chan rolled his eyes nonchalantly. "Baby. Jeongin is over it, if anything it's Minho that's going to take a while. He accepts what you have said but he doesn't forgive easily. Besides Jeongin wants to ease your anxiety." Chan cooed. "I want you Channie to be the first. I don't care how long we have to wait for your leg to get better. Besides Seungmin can keep up." Y/N stated. "My love. What did I do to deserve you." Chan cooed, his heart swelling with pride. As much as he wanted to be the first his mark was already there and she needed to feel settled. "Ya, let's play doctors and nurses," Changbin shouted as he kicked the door open. "Fuck sake," Chan muttered.

Taglist for the iconic readers

@galaxy4489 @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 o @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627 @tsunderelino @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @hyunmikim @emi-han @iknow-uknow-leeknow @jigglypuff3000 @aalexyuuuhm @reallychaoticwoo @missseoulite @ihrtlix @estella-novella @xxeiraxx

[lastnightonthecyclone]

me making a Ivan the terrible drawing with Amanda and Lindsey Perez but with a twist

“not every single character in saw needs to have an AU where they’re an apprentice it doesn’t even make sense for so many of them it adds nothing and is annoying and i hate fun” okay but

[suzuran777]

Review: Akaya Akashiya Ayakashi No

A while ago the Nintendo Switch and Steam versions of Akaya Akashiya Ayakashi No were released, so I had to finally replay this game! It was originally released on PC in 2011 by Haccaworks, who are also known for their previous work Hanakisou. This game isn't technically a BL game, but I think BL fans would still like it! This time the game's also available in English and Chinese.

The story focuses on protagonist Yue, a human who lives together with a group of Ayakashi. He was born and raised there and never left the shrine grounds, but one night, his childhood friend Kurogitsune takes him to the nearby festival. During his very first trip to the outside world, Yue meets two boys who he grows interested in and wants to learn more about. After returning to the shrine, the shrine's goddess Mikoto informs him that preparations for Yue's "meal" have started.

This game has 4 different routes and quite a lot of different endings. I used this guide which helped me a lot! It's in Japanese but even if you Google Translate it I think it should be clear what choices to choose. Other than the usual choices, you also get to choose the location you want to explore, so I often got bad endings when I wasn't checking the guide. The recommended route order is Akiyoshi > Tsubaki > Sagano > Kurogitsune, as some endings are locked.

In this game, the Ayakashi usually live far away from humans in the mountains, but they took a liking to the local shrine which was originally created by worshippers of goddess Mikoto-no-Nushi. Yue doesn't remember most of his past and has been living at the shrine together with the Ayakashi for as long as he can remember. He knows he's different than the Ayakashi, but he also doesn't fully remember why he's living with them. His best friend, Kurogitsune, is a black fox who's always together with him. He does have a humanoid form too but usually he takes the shape of a small fox sitting on Yue's shoulder.

During Yue's trip to the festival, he meets two of the characters who have their own routes in this game, a boy who always wears a mask called Akiyoshi, and a blond haired boy called Tsubaki. Tsubaki doesn't really understand what Yue's deal is, and Akiyoshi is immediately suspicious of him. Regardless, Yue wants to learn more about them.

After returning home, Yue and Kurogitsune get scolded by the individual who owns the shrine (Sato). He's hoping that Mikoto, the shrine goddess, will punish both of them for secretly going to the festival, but she always forgives Yue no matter what he does lol. Yue doesn't really understand it when Mikoto tells him it's time for his "meal" and why he should choose between one of the boys he just met. Ayakashi eat humans and when a human is caught by them, other people lose memories of this person (being spirited away). But Yue is no Ayakashi, which is why he's confused.

During the next days in the game, Yue meets Akiyoshi and Tsubaki again and slowly becomes friends with them, even though both are still suspicious of him. Kurogitsune is also quite bad at hiding that he can in fact talk, so the others immediately know he's an Ayakashi too lol. The dialogue suggests regular people can't see him when he's in his human form, but both Akiyoshi and Tsubaki are exceptions because of their bloodlines and are able to see ghosts and Ayakashi.

The town where the characters live in, Utsuwa, is permanently stuck in a night cycle, though it seems like the residents don't think it's anything unusual. At some point some strange things happen in town and slowly more and more people go missing. Additionally, monsters called Akujiki appear more frequently, who similar to Ayakashi, also eat humans. Because their abilities aren't as strong as Ayakashi, usually when they eat someone other people don't completely lose their memories of this person. As a result of this, Yue and the others run into people walking around town mindlessly, forgetting what they were doing outside in the first place. While investigating these incidents, Yue is approached by stranger called Sagano who tells Yue he's taking his body back. After trying to fight Yue though, he retreats because I guess it wasn't the right time yet. Sagano is kind of funny because he always looks ready to attack Yue but there's always some kind of excuse why he doesn't do it.

Even though it's an old game I still love the character designs, CGs and backgrounds. It creates an atmosphere which really suits the setting of the game. The music in this game is also very good and quite nostalgic to me, I think many people who aren't familiar with the game at least know the opening song by Shikata Akiko! It's also really convenient that the Switch version lets you skip backwards so if you do make a wrong choice, you can easily go back and fix it. The game also has a button to skip to the next important event or choice, which is faster than just pressing the skip read dialogue option.

Final impressions

I was really curious what I would think about this game because the first time I played this was over 10 years ago. The original PC version is also unvoiced, and since I never had a PSP this is my first time playing the voiced version. I still really like the plot and characters, there's a lot of side characters but they all have their own charm. Many of the endings are quite bittersweet because the conflicts between the characters aren't something that can easily be solved. What I really like is that every main character in this game is relevant to the plot, even outside of their own route. The Tsubaki family has been targeted by the foxes from the shrine for a long time, while the Tochika family (Akiyoshi's family) is the complete opposite and the foxes would rather stay away from them. Sagano also has his connections to the Ayakashi of the shrine, but I won't spoil the endings!

Something I did notice is that even though the game's translated into English, there's a few typos in this version, sometimes in the game dialogue, but also in some of the menus. During one of the earlier scenes the dialogue randomly turned into the original Japanese text too, for about three lines I think? I'm not sure if this got patched and it probably won't ruin your playthrough, but maybe it's good to know. Overall I think the translation is pretty straight-forward and it doesn't change most of the Japanese terms

[love-iathan]

Sweet Boy

Masterlist | Seelie Key

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Character(s): Wanderer, Ei (brief)

Reader: Gender Neutral, Creator

Warning(s): Does not follow cannon

Word Count: 1681

Note(s): I wrote this on and off while I was sick, like 2 weeks ago, so it might be garbage and all over the place :)

You peacefully watched the rain storm, the downpour watering your crops. Suddenly pulled from your daydream by a knock at the door, you walked over and opened it, preparing to reprimand whomever disturbed you. Stopping in your tracks when you realised it was Ei, who was holding a much smaller boy in her arms.

"Your Grace, I've made a mistake." Hearing Ei admit to such a thing was unheard of.

Allowing her into your home, you sat at the table. "Who's the child?" You asked, gesturing to the seat across from you.

With a bit of hesitation, Ei sat down, the boy cradled in her lap. "Do you remember when I asked your permission to make a puppet?"

"I do," you replied, growing a bit concerned where this was going.

Ei's mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. After a few seconds of silence, she finally got the words out. "I can't force him to be my puppet."

Cocking an eyebrow, you reached over to your teapot, pouring both of you a cup. "Care to elaborate?"

Once again, she looked like a fish out of water, trying to organise her thoughts. "Last night, he shed tears. I'd never forgive myself if I forced him to be my puppet."

Slowly gathering the main issue, you chuckled. "All of you have always had such complex emotions, whether you'd like to admit it or not." You joked, referring to her and the rest of the Archons. "You think of him as your son, don't you?"

Ei's silence said it all. "Your Grace, what should I do?" She seemed to grow more distressed as time went on.

"Well, you have a few options. 1, you can keep him, raise him, not as a puppet, but as your son. Create a new puppet using what you've learned making him. 2, let fate decide what should happen to him."

"Do you mean abandon him?" She asked, almost panicked, forgetting her manners. With a gasp, she whispered, "my apologies."

"Or, 3, let him be your puppet, as originally planned, and let him prove his worth."

Ei sighed, looking down at her puppet. "It's not that he isn't worthy, Your Grace." She trailed off, uncomfortable with needing to make this choice, wishing you'd just do it for her.

"Ei, I know this is a difficult decision for you to make, but I cannot make it for you. I also can't take him," you sipped on your tea. "Me taking him would be equivalent to creating another Archon, which could potentially lead to a 2nd Archon War. I'm sorry dear Ei, but I cannot risk that."

Ei sighed, knowing you were right, asking you to take on the boy would be disrespectful.

Walking around the table to stand next to her, you placed your hand on her shoulder. "Drink your tea and give it some thought. You both may stay here tonight, I hope you have your decision by tomorrow."

The next day, you saw Ei in the same spot you left her last night, although the boy was sleeping on the futon in the living area. Despite her not needing sleep, she had dark bags under her eyes, as if she'd been up for days. "Ei, are you alright?"

Startled by your question, she jumped, "yes, my apologies, Your Grace. I've just been thinking about what I should do."

"Well, it's still quite early, how about we eat something and then we'll discuss your options more in depth."

With a quick nod, you began making something simple. Dishing out 3 portions, you set Ei's in front of her, one in your spot and the last at the end of the table. You walked into the living area, slowly approaching the still sleeping boy.

Kneeling down, you gently shook him awake. "Sweetheart? Wake up, you should eat something." Being this close to him for the first time, you really noticed the resemblance between him and Ei.

The boy slowly opened his eyes, the same purple as his mother. "Hello." He said meekly.

You smiled, taking his hand. "Come over here, eat with us." He followed you, visibly relaxing when he saw Ei, a familiar face. Gesturing to the table, you sat down, waiting for him to sit as well. Ei sat in silence, staring at her plate. "You may eat, now."

Ei picked up her cutlery, eating in silence. The boy looked between you and Ei in confusion; as far as he knew, Ei was the most powerful being alive. So why did she only begin eating after you allowed it? Who exactly were you, and why did Ei seem on edge around you? Almost scared of you.

"All of your questions will be answered in due time." You affirmed, seemingly reading his mind.

The three of you ate in silence, although questions raced through his head. Would it be rude to ask them? If you were so powerful, surely you'd punish him for speaking out of turn. Deciding to keep his questions to himself for now, he finished his food, opting to look around himself.

Taking in his surrounding, he was startled to hear Ei's voice. "Your Grace," although her voice was barely above a whisper, you looked up from your plate. "I believe I've made my decision." She trailed off, quickly grabbing a cup, which he assumed was water and downing it.

You smiled at her. "Wonderful. We will speak about it later."

The boy, now known as Scaramouche, was abandoned by his mother, his creator. His last "happy" memory with her was the night he ate with you both. Scaramouche grew to despise you as well. He believed you'd been the one to convinced Ei to leave him, abandon him.

If you created Teyvat, knew everything that was going to happen, and had the power to change the course of history, why didn't you change his destiny? Why did you knowing allow Ei to abandoned him? It didn't make since to him. While still the innocent and curious kabukimono, he'd hoped that you'd come looking for him and take him to your home.

As the days past him by, he'd realised he wasn't wanted, so he gave up, the last of his innocence leaving him when the young boy betrayed him. His heart grew cold, leaving Inazuma, and the pain it cause him, behind.

Centuries later, you heard news from Sumeru that the Akademiya's Sages were attempting to create an Archon, using none other than Scaramouche. Having rarely left your home since his creation, you didn't know that Sumeru didn't have an active Archon, so when you arrived to aid the blonde traveler, you didn't recognise the small God.

After Scaramouche's defeat, you spoke to the Archon and traveler, learning their names. The traveler told you everything they knew up to this point, about Scaramouche, his life as the Balladeer, and the Sage's plans. "Neither of you need to worry about him, he'll be fine. Nahida, would you mind keeping an eye on him? He's going to be quite weak when he wakes up. I'll come collect him once he's awake."

The Dendro Archon agrees, with a bit of hesitation, understandably so; the puppet had just tried to overtake her position as Archon. When Scaramouche finally woke up, Nahida called for you to collect him. While he was still delirious, he recognised you immediately, trying to get away from you.

Seeing him, you sauntered right up to him, taking his face into your hands gently. "Ah, you've grown so much. I just wish your life hadn't gone down such a dark path."

Irritated, Scaramouche slapped your hands away. "If you're so sorry, why didn't you stop it from happening?" He shouted, turning his back to you.

"It was too dangerous. I wouldn't have been able to ensure Teyvat's, or even your, safety." You turned him back around, one hand on his shoulder. "I remember the night Ei brought you to my home; you were so innocent."

The words felt degrading, yet somehow warm. "Why did you let her abandon me?" His aggressive tone shifted to a vaguely vulnerable one, his voice wavering ever-so slightly.

With a deep breath, you pulled him into your chest, listening as he struggled to hold back tears. "Ei was very attached to you, even though it only been a few days. She didn't want you to be forced into a life of servitude, but she didn't want you to feel as though you'd been replaced."

"I don't... I don't understand," he mumbled.

Running your fingers through his hair, you pulled him tighter against you. "I'm sure you know you were created to be Ei's puppet, but the night before she brought you to me, you cried in your sleep." You rested your chin on his head. "She was worried that, that if she went through with her plan to make you her puppet, you'd be unhappy."

Scaramouche continued to try and push you away for a few minutes before giving in and crying into your chest. "Why was I not good enough?"

"Oh, sweet boy, you are more than enough. That night," you pressed a kiss to the top of his head, "Ei and I wanted you to decide your own fate, let you forge your own path through life. Had I known she'd leave you alone without talking to you about our decision, I would have intervened."

"What?" Confused, the ex-Harbinger pulled away from you.

Wiping the stray tears from his cheeks, "I didn't learn what happened to you until after Ei made the Raiden Shogun, even then, I had to ask. She was still upset about her sister's death, it's not a excuse and she was punished justly."

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

You smiled, "for what, darling? You didn't nothing wrong."

"I've hurt so many people. Killed so many people. I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart, look at me," you lifted his chin. "You were hurting. While it is no more an excuse than Ei's, it is an explanation. You just need to be prepared for the consequences, sweet boy."

Using "x male reader" tags to summon the audience I want 🙏

[tic-toc-clock77]

My mom got diagnosed with bipolar recently and last night I went to stay with her. It was a very emotional night for me so you'll probably be seeing a lot of Dwellers content involving the mothers of the cast for a bit. Maternal angst, here we come. More of a personal explanation below

cws; neglect, drinking, abuse, abandonment

We talked about a lot of things; mostly about she had a lot of regrets in raising me how she did and it was the most lucidity she's ever had, that i've ever seen her have in all of my 16 years alive. Her impulses and her stunted mentality are still present but she seems better. I lost faith slowly in my mother since I could remember; she pushed me away, neglected me and I always felt alone in her home during the weeks. I lost all faith in my mother when I was 7, I held such incredible disdain that I still sometimes feel today.

My mother was never a "mother". For years, I was blamed for her messes, her problems and she always found ways to shit talk me to her friends. She abandoned me regularly for random men and even treated me as if I were coemption for the romantic/sexual affections of her adult lovers when I was 9 years old and had begun puberty. I nearly broke my arm once and had laughed at me while taking photos, she did the same when I'd fallen off my bike after she didn't allow me to wear the proper gear my dad bought me.

My mother never cleaned, meaning our house was a mess, our dishes weren't clean and she refused to clean them so I could eat, I ended up doing it myself or trying to learn to live with it. My mom would also waste money; she wouldn't by groceries or anything we actually needed. Instead she spent all our money on clothing and other expensive fashion things. There's a lot of other things too.

I held this disdain since age 7, I bottled everything up until 4 years later, at age 11 and on Christmas, my parents got into a huge argument and I decided I didn't want to go back and forth anymore, I wanted to live full time with my Dad. My dad left and told me to call him if he needed to pick me up. When I tried calling him, my Mom took my phone, threatening me not to leave but I left anyway, taking my phone back and abandoning her.

Now that time is passed and she seems better, I can't allow myself to forgive and forget these things, even now that she's on proper medication, I find it hard to trust her, I don't think I ever will.

I don't think I even love her at all, she's not my mother by anything but blood which makes it hard to write motherly characters like Connie Rogers.

I wish I knew what it was like to have a mother but I don't, I'll have to settle for writing a mother thats better than mine

[bluegekk0]

In Terms of Memory-Loss, what's with the Rumor, that you lose your Memory, when you leave Hallownest? Quirrel lost his memories when he left and had to re-explore the place. Same with Ghost

Yeah that's one of the things I didn't include in my AU. I have a feeling it's something that might get slightly retconned with Silksong, since it's a completely new kingdom that, at least from what we've seen, shows that there are still other places that are or were at some point thriving, outside of Hallownest's influence. And because travel is such a big part of my AU, I decided that I wanted to maintain my vision without complicating it too much, so the complete memory loss that's suggested in the game isn't a thing here.

That being said, Hallownest is still surrounded by wilderness that is notoriously difficult to survive in. Straying from the road is a bad idea, the cold is unforgiving, and many beasts adapted to the environment and are just waiting for a careless traveler to walk right into their trap. If you want to survive, you must adapt, and perhaps that comes with forgetting what civilization is like. So in a way, the concept in the game is still somewhat there, just a lot less literal. Your memories don't get erased, but you can slowly forget yourself if you're forced to face the endless dangers and pain you'll experience in the wilderness. Cold wastes surround the mountains that create the Hallownest borders, with many frozen corpses of unfortunate beasts and travelers, but as you get further and further away, the region becomes more forgiving.

So perhaps the rumor has started as advice, to not travel outside of the borders as it's far too dangerous. Of course, as more travelers risked it, the main road became safer, and the beasts moved back into the wilderness out of fear of the light and large groups of travelers (such as merchant groups and the Troupe, who traveled the road frequently as Grimm was visiting FPK in the White Palace).

As for Quirrel... He was given temporary immortality by Monomon so that he could protect her mask (how exactly she did that, I have no idea, let's just pretend it was FPK's soul spell or something like that), perhaps the memory loss was connected to it. Similarly to how the immortality given by Grimm can result in memory issues after leaving the Troupe, maybe Quirrel also suffered from memory problems due to the unstable nature of his condition. He stopped aging, yes, but perhaps it wasn't a perfect solution and his memories would become too confusing to keep track of. Just another sign that immortality, while tempting, can have its own drawbacks if given to a mortal.

Not necessarily connected to immortality but still a similar idea, this also reminds me of FPK and his over-reliance on soul to avoid eating. Gods can use their powers to skip on those basic biological needs, but he was never one. Sure, he naturally didn't age, but he still needed to eat, he was a creature of bones and blood, not some otherworldly being. Soul, as it turned out, was only a temporary solution, and it eventually became clear that someone like him couldn't rely on it forever and if he didn't eat, he would ultimately starve and die. I like that little theme, that little reminder that not everyone can handle such state or powers, and that the gods are gods for a reason. You can try to imitate them, but you can't change reality.

When it comes to Ghost, I imagine they simply just left Hallownest as soon as they climbed out of the Abyss. So they didn't experience memory loss, instead they simply didn't know anything and had to learn it after they were called back by their sibling. I like to think they spent all those years in distant towns and cities, either hiding away or helping out the folk in small tasks. Would be a nice explanation for why they're eager to do it despite their no-nonsense personality, and maybe why they ended up forgetting things about their birthplace. It's been years since they left, and if they had a job to focus on, it makes sense that they wouldn't think much about it.

So yeah, the concept does still have some connection to the AU, but it's much more vague that straight up erased memories.

[archoniic]

@yuelun // you have nobody but yourself to blame for this actually. the rite of parting. final goodbyes, letting go & forgiveness. inspired by : this version of lovers oath.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄; while many in Liyue were saying goodbye to their Archon and wondering what the future would hold for them without Rex Lapis. Zhongli was saying goodbye to his past. While sad for many of the residents, perhaps some were even a little fearful. For him, it was bittersweet. A chapter in his story finally coming to a close. Perhaps it had been long overdue, for how long had he held on to his past, clutched tightly within the palms of his hand. So tightly, he barely lived in the present. The people had long since proven to him that they were fine on their own; they no longer needed him to hold their hand or guide them. But what of him? Holding on the way he had done; living within a memory -- he missed so many things in the here and now. It was time to truly let go. While the thought had his heart ache in ways he could not even begin to put into words, it felt right. As though now was the time he'd been waiting for all those thousands of years.

Perhaps this was where it was all supposed to end. There was a smile upon his face, Goodbyes are never truly forever, after all. It simply marks the end of one journey; making way for the beginning of another. Had she not once said that to him? Many years ago? Her voice still as fresh in his memory now, as it was back then. Her laughter echoing in his ears as he allowed himself to recall memories he usually pushed further back in his mind. Remembering a time he knew little of mortal emotions; a laugh escaped him. Causing one of the residents of Liyue to glance to him almost scornfully. "Apologies." Eyes drawn to the glaze lilies, amazed they lingered; though now scattered across the land and far more sparse than they had been.

Memories of banquets held, laughter shared; debates had. A time where things had been both much simpler, and yet entirely more complicated. Morax had to learn to navigate the ways of the mortals to truly understand them, to become the Archon they needed and the one they deserved. With her help and guidance, he had done just that. Leading their people into a prosperous future, never once forgetting any of the things that she had taught him. And neither will they. Though our names may fade from their memories in the future; this land has become what it is, in part; thanks to you, Guizhong. I hope that you would be happy with all they have achieved.

A final look to where the lilies lay, the smell of the incense in the air; not known to many, but so hauntingly familiar to him. He was at peace with his decision, more than. Zhongli had no regrets in laying his past to rest, no regrets on finally ending the chapter that had prevailed for much too long. She could rest now, as could he.

Movement caught his eye from atop a cliff; her figure there, looking down over Liyue, over them, over him. Another smile would tug at his lips, how perfectly I recall you, even now. He thought, simply a memory; one he'd had many times over the years. How befitting that she should appear to him like that on this day of all days. Thank you, Guizhong. He would remain looking at that cliff edge for a while, not daring to look away in case she would disappear. But in the goodbye, in forgiving himself, he knew he had to.

One day our paths will cross once more... until then...

And he turned away, walking slowly through the crowd and making his way out of the harbour. He would not look back, after all; that was not the point of a goodbye. No, instead; he would simply look ahead. For he had all the time in the world now to see new things, new places; experience things he had yet to experience.

And when that time came that they would be reunited; oh, how many new stories would he have to share?

I will live this life for us both.

[soundlessdragon]

The past few weeks I kept encountering other people's personal accounts of radical love and reconciliation, where significant hurt has happened but one side chose to forgive and renew a relationship with a strength only God can give. And it only added to my own daily internal conflict of wondering if I have a duty to reconnect with that ex-bff I broke up with 2 years ago. Time has of course softened the remembered severity of our last fight, and my perception always defaults ambiguous situations to "I'm at fault," so over these 2 years I've been slowly more convinced that I was hardly if at all justified in my choice to end the relationship. And the idea I may have a moral Christian obligation to attempt to rekindle it is frightening lol especially since she contacted me several times over the first year to basically just yell at me and insult me and try to verbally hurt me lol. She's had a lot of trauma and I would have no idea what to do but maybe I am supposted to step off that cliff in faith and trust God to use me? Idek. I definitely don't feel strong enough spiritually/emotionally, especially considering the increased responsibility I have now as a mother, where even before children I was struggling to be a good, patient, kind, and godly friend to her.

Anyway last night I finally prayed about it specifically "please make it clear to me what you want me to do." And today I have randomly encountered two examples of how she treated me badly during disagreements back when we were still friends, and repeated abusive behaviors at me that she had learned from her parents and boyfriend:

She verbally degraded me with insults, demeaning my intelligence, my values, my humanity, my choices, and my family.

She gaslit me at least twice (but probably more seeing as I didn't even realize it until I looked back at saved evidence), saying she didn't do something to hurt me and then when shown proof just brushing it off and changing the topic.

She projected her own insecurities on me often: insulting me for my interests and saying I only like nerdy things because I want to look cool to nerdy guys, accusing me of outing her to my parents when I never talk about her to my family but she is constantly talking to her family about me, etc.

I understand emotional projection and unconsciously repeating abusive behaviors on others is not something that someone with trauma can easily unlearn, but this was still after she'd been in therapy for maybe 3-5 years, if not more, and she never genuinely apoligized for it. She'd say "yeah okay sorry let's forget about it and move on" when called out ... 😅 yikes hindsight is 20/20 🚩

I'm not sure if this is God's full answer yet, that I made the right choice, but it helps me have some closure about ending the friendship and where I am now in life.

[yigahye]

&&. announcing her royal highness, ( yi “camilla” gahye ), the ( 31 ) year old ( princess ) of ( south korea ). she is often confused with ( lim ji yeon ). some say that she is ( tenuous & conniving ), but she is actually ( disciplined & polished ). ( ooc: ashley )

her early life can be described with one word: unnoteworthy. the second daughter was brushed under the rug in hopes the next would be a son.

because of this she finds her independence easily. growing up there always seemed to be something more important than her occurring at all times. at a young age, she knew how to handle her own matters. permission slips from school went to woong, her mother’s assistant, when she was hungry, she’d find mi-hi to send word to the kitchen. unless she was dying, bothering her parents was out of the question. in comparison to dahye, her disposition is seen as temperate.

she thrives socially, mostly because it is the only place people care about her, and really care. her quietness dissipates almost as soon as she steps foot outside the imperial palace, the urge to blend into the shadows doesn’t follow her. she makes a good group of friends and follows their path to university.

her friends from university were always so brilliant. by surrounding herself with great minded company, she hoped even just a little of their passion would rub on to her. though not royalty, she saw her friends become powerful business women, ground breaking scientists, talented artists ... she envied people with a dream, a talent, a calling. but despite her best efforts, nothing ever came. it was then her parents began throwing names of suitors at her, none ever particularly satiating. she struggled through her fine arts degree. she let jealousy eat away at her slowly, until the perfect proposition fell onto her lap. the emperor of china.

once the idea of empress started to become real, it became evidently clear this was her calling. she felt she had to do very little to be impressive. and not to mention, her mother has never smiled at her so largely! it had started to feel like she had been waiting all her life for this, unbeknownst to her, the deep rooted feeling of inferiority began to dwindle, and it had never occurred to her this was something she wanted in the first place. 

that’s not to say jianguo didn’t have a part in her fate. his kindness and cleverness made it impossible to say no to. it was her third visit to the palace that made her future all too clear in her mind. she loved the life, she loved the people, she loved him.

then came the whirlwind. the white dresses, the florists, the never ending list of guests. her life became consumed by duty. and finally, the coronation. she’d never forget how tightly her father hugged her that day. and for a few years, things flowed smoothly, her life worked perfectly. wenli’s birth was the natural order of events. she had impressive feats to display next to her name, shiny achievements to show her friends and family. 

the most difficult part was learning how to navigate the chinese imperial family. she had experience a coldness in her family, but not to the jin’s extent. after extended kindnesses, she was quick to learn they operated better in their own bubbles. jianguo’s side of the story was the only story she knows, or knew.

for years, gahye has tried her best. she has trusted her husband and his disposition, willing to stand beside his decisions. writing off lixue’s disdain was easier than inserting herself. she allowed the infighting because of the sureness she felt in her position. everything felt like taunts, until the escalations made her world come crashing down.

a year of captivity in the palace does not exactly breed understanding. no, a year in captivity breeds resentment. a year without contact with her husband, only to find out about his death through palace staff ? no, this does not bode for forgiveness. it bodes for revenge.

tl;dr

processing lots of grief atm

here for wenli’s sake

pinterest !

[inferniso]

✢⁎. headcanons

disclaimer this is a Lot and like half of it ain’t coherent:

first and foremost, idunn is being taken shortly after the good ending of fe6 (think a few months after that last cutscene). this lands her in a spot that’s slightly more developed/healed than what we see at the end of the game, but a long ways off from ascended! idunn. that alt is pretty clearly meant to be a longshot future where she can smile and laugh just by seeing you on the homescreen. my idunn is... getting there. so i reference bits and pieces of what it shows us, depending on what i feel is appropriate.

speak of ascended! idunn! her appearance. or more specifically, her dragon form. it can be inferred from the fact that she was once a divine dragon that idunn used to bear more of a resemblance to fae in this form, and the special art of ascended! idunn supports this with its “chicken” wings and feathered tail-tip. however, it also has one scaled wing, and the base of her tail is black and more similar to the demon dragon form (plus her head is the same). thus it is my personal hc that after having her soul restored and her personality slowly grow inside her, idunn’s dragon form changes to reflect this--gradually reverting back to that of the divine style. right now it’s an amalgamation of a demon dragon head, tail-base, and lower/back-left wing, while the main body + limbs, other three wings, and tail-tip comprise her divine parts. 

she’s a character who has internalized both she/her and it/its pronouns, and will respond to either. generally, i’ll use it/its when referring to idunn’s past as the dark priestess and at times where she feels particularly alienated, and she/her otherwise. your muses are free to interpret and use these pronouns however they wish.

i hate the possessed villain trope, alright. i think robbing a character of guilt and remorse stunts their growth, and part of learning to accept herself must include dealing with the fact that idunn’s actions have permanent consequences. i do believe that people--especially innocent families harmed by idunn’s dragons across elibe--do not forgive her for all that she’s done, and to some extend she struggles with this too. idunn is fortunate enough to have really good support systems in fae and the other arcadians, but it will take some time before she isn’t fearful of her own self.

i also write her as holding onto the belief that she is going to lead the world and bring it peace. it never goes away after she becomes herself again, much like her desire to do something that would make the zephiel who rescued her happy.

her presence is a large one and can easily be detected by the magically adept/other dragons who have the ability to do so.

i welcome any and all legendary weapon headcanons! idunn sort of sees the events of fe6 through the lens of a really horrible dream, and so she regards those who fought her in the final map in the same way as the eight legends of elibe. the baseline instinct for this is fear, of course, for their power and that of the weapons, but she tries to see the good qualities of the eight and apply them to their successors in any way she can. if you want your muse to have used one of the weapons against her, just let me know and maybe look it over with any current roy muns.

she still has the power to summon war dragons, but doing so makes her lose control of her soul, so she tries to avoid it if possible. there may, potentially be a dire scenario in which she must in order to protect someone she cares about, but she’d need to be in the presence of someone she knows could bring her back if she chooses to do so. 

in terms of toa-specific headcanons, i think that in line with forgetting much of her previous personality and the concept of like, everything, idunn is only just learning to read. it’s been thousands of years since she was herself so even if she could have read at some point, the language she knows is considered ancient. she’s gotten a good start in arcadia, but is hoping to learn more at the academy!

she loves music! not surprising considering her admiration for nature and simpler things, but i like the idea that dragons are particularly enthralled by it. the flute is her instrument of choice, and if she picks up lessons at the academy it’d be for that.

and finally, though i don’t foresee myself really ever getting into shipping with idunn, she currently has no understanding of romantic love and just barely one of familial/platonic love. if she ever does catch feelings for someone, it’d be after a long healing process learning how to catch feelings.

[hotdogshipping-miwa-enthusiast]

Now I think it is apparent I am a shipper, it is literally in my name

And I feel the need to speak of Vanguard ships I have been fixating that are very obscure

Now I have discussed my beloved TetsuRen and I still have a lot to say on that, but I shall spare you (mainly because I want to gather photos)….ngl this is just me babbling about ships that I cannot stop thinking sbout

Morikawa/Korin

I am personally am not the biggest fan of Morikawa (for many reasons but I shall never be able to forgive the heart swimshorts) and I don't really have an opinion on Korin one way or the other but this is...once you get past how Morikawa Morikawa can be...is very cute.

He genuinely loves Korin and while he is overly passionate in showing it and can definitely be overly rude to others in the course of that affection

He supports her in everything she does and never looses faith in her. His actions in the high school tournament shows that he can take things seriously and is willing to put his feelings aside if something is important, also takes her seriously as a fighter, he respects her.

Now yes he does have the weird fan of an idol thing I don't believe you should constantly be declaring you are definitely going to marry an idol or call them your darling in full seriousness, but I like how supportive he is of Korin.

I like to think that maybe after the events of legion mates he can find her again and fall in love with her, that with a little training in self control and maybe manners he could be a nice supportive boyfriend. She deserved to be loved after all she's been through especially with the constant uprooting of her life and how often those around her forget who she is.

(Please anyone for the love of god give her a hug)

(I've also seen Korin/Noaki which is another very cute ship for her)

Jun/Masaki (Naoki's brother)

I will not lie I saw a piece of fanart of these two and this ship just popped to me

They don't even exist in the same versions of the show, that is how far removed this is: Jun is solely in the original Vanguard and Noaki's brother only appears in the reboot. This ship has no business existing and I know that, but the intrigue of the dynamic gets me.

This man is an uptight, no nonsense, "stop being childish and learn to do something useful like a proper adult" type of guy. He sees Naoki enjoying himself and his first response is to tell Naoki to stop before he inevitably gets bored.

Jun is 'the king of underground cardfighters,' he walks around with a chain and in his second appears he ties Miwa up. He enjoys vanguard and the lawlessness of underground fights.

Stark opposites; would never reasonably interact.

But an idea came to mind; Masaki sees how much fun and how invest in Vanguard Noaki is, something the boy has never been with any of the other hobbies he picked up. Wanting to know more about what made such a dramatic change in his brother he stumbles upon the underground. Of course it is very sketchy but Noaki's blond friend who seems somewhat reasonable is here so it's probably fine (like Miwajun in both romantic and platonic and semi believe Jun smokes and definitely got Miwa into smoking).

Noting Masaki knows Miwa from seeing him interact with Naoki but doesn't actually know him and both of them ended up at Jun's entirely unrelated

"maybe not the best guy to introduce you to vanguard" - A Gaillard fan upon hearing about this ship

I think Masaki would be suspicious at first but slowly end up pulled into Jun's rythm. Jun would find this clear newbie to vanguards presence amusing and interesting him, pushing him to interact more with him.

He handcuffed Miwa to a poll after their first conversation, you cannot convince me he would pass up the chance to question why someone with zero vanguard knowledge showed up at his hideout.

(Miwa also sees Jun's newest toy and asks Noaki if he has a brother, immediately wishing the man good luck when Noaki says yes)

And finally...for now

Ibuki/Gouki

Ibuki will always be Suiko's malewife yes, it is his calling

But If also gave us this beautiful duo

They have their whole training sequence and god is Gouki a shojo protagonist in this ep.

I feel this needs no explanations, they're just great

He just immediately steps up to encourage this forelourned man, their whole conversation is the rejected heroine and the loner 2nd male lead who never admits his feelings but constantly encourages them, a couple you want to root for, is it all for his Jammer misson? Yes. Does that change anything? No.

BECAUSE HE IMMA GOES INTO TRAINER MODE TO MAKE GOUKI STRONGER AND HELP HIM FULFILL HIS WISH

The ending AND CONFESSION

THE FRUSTRATION OVER ALL THEIR TIME AND FEELINGS BEING EREASED AS HE IS FORCED TO ACCEPT THEY CAN NEVER BE

And of course

Gouki still dears of their time together, longing for memories he will never get back

This is such a weird ship but I just love it

Thank you for coming to my tedtalk (I have more screenshots for all of these but tumblr is limiting me)

[norhimorovine]

Regret: Howl Like The Wind

((Edit: Forgot to add song link. Now at bottom of post))

It had been late in the evening, or early in the night really, when Misah’to showed up in Norhi’s apothecary. He carried a tearful Bianca with him. She’d had a nightmare and wouldn’t go back to sleep. So, in a compromise, he’d taken her to Norhi, so she wouldn’t wake Annia. And this was how Norhi found herself carrying an eight year old child in her arms, slowly pacing the aisle of her space and singing to her.

“Life isn't easy. Love never lasts. You just carry on. And keep moving fast.”

The lyrics came easily to her. It was a song she was used to singing to Vhene. Or even Zuki. Her voice wasn’t something for performance. But it was enough for family. And there was something meditative in the pacing and the singing. Her thoughts turned to the moons that had passed since coming to this grey, cold country.

“I pulled off the highway. And rolled into town. I'm just fancy free babe. And I travel 'round.”

At first her hopes had been high. Things were hard. The Garleans were definitely not interested in their help. Even adverse to their presence to the point of violence. As expected, of course. The history between them all was never going to allow this to go smoothly. She’d had no few friends, family, and neighbors, all question her choice to come here. Norhi was one of many many people that had every reason to never forgive. Never forget. To honor her dead by refusing to build bridges. And yet, she’d come. She needed to see. She needed to understand and learn. But more than any of that, she had ached with a terrible anxiety and fear. She had dear friends here. Norhi could never forgive herself, much less anyone else, if she didn’t do her best to aid them.

“Sometimes I'm up. Sometimes down. Where can I run to? How have I sinned? When you cry like a rainstorm And you howl like the wind?”

And in coming with everyone, Norhi got to see the beginning of Alvarium. She got to feel those first odd signs of concern and displaced sense of something out of place. But more so than that, she chose to see hope and a path forward, instead of the storm looming on the horizon. Everything felt like it could be recovered from.

“And my thoughts are filled with memories. They won't let me be. But if all the stars are shining bright. Well they would not let me see.”

Duty had called her back to Camp Broken Glass. She was gone from Alvarium longer than she’d wanted. And then the sky turned red. And people began to turn. And her newly learned skill to heal the tempered felt completely useless. Everything she’d ever done or fought for, felt absolutely worthless, in the face of the End of the World. What peace was there to walk towards, if everything was gone?

“It's so cold and the rain keeps blowing. It's tearing through the town. But I'm still fancy free darling. And I travel 'round.”

Somehow they got through that first panic and surge of horror. Norhi found her feet again. She healed and she worked. And she got herself back to Alvarium. And things seemed to even out. She began to really, finally learn about the folks there. And then they learned of her hidden hope, that had tagged along with every other plan. The wish to find her cousin. The hope that Misah’to was alive and safe.

“Sometimes I'm up. Sometimes down. Oh where can I run to? How have I sinned?”

Arym was one of the first to express a specific offer to help. But quickly behind him were Rhua, Victoria, and Pollux. From there, word spread. Overseer was consulted. A map was marked to the point of near illegibility. And a plan was made.

“When you cry like a rainstorm? And you howl like the wind?”

And so Norhi found herself going out into the city with a much larger search party than she’d ever dared hope for. Bellworks friends and new Alvarium ones. For surely they were friends now. They combed that office of census and frumentarius information. They located a house and searched it. But a clue was found. And it pointed to a bar. A bar where they found Misah’to alive, safe, and whole. And with him two little girls - Annia and Bianca.

“Sometimes I'm up. Most times down.”

And for a time after that, things seemed to calm. Things seemed to come together. Healing folks of injury and illness, between bells of catching up with Misah’to and time with her friends. She even found herself feeling like Overseer was a friend. Fire came to the Bellworks and Brave had to leave. And for all that it made her worry, Norhi wished her friend well and safe journey.

“Oh where can I run to? Tell me how have I sinned?”

But then Rainer showed up. And N’s magic showed them a truth they weren’t ready for yet. They found the bunker. And the blood. And the files and chat logs. And some of them broken. One of them shattered. And Twelves was shackled, locked away from his own freedom.

“When you cry like a rainstorm? And you howl like the wind?”

One of their number disappeared, without word. N was comatose. Twelves nothing more than a servant. Norhi found herself turning to Rhua’s plans. She began teaching. She began making plans. They needed resources. People needed to learn how to survive without Overseer. They voted to free the AI. Of course this came with a cost. Many of their defenses were no longer held up by the AI. The town now needed to stand on its own feet. And so the lessons increased. And people learned every skill they had teachers for. And little by little, they began cobbling together a home that could manage what it needed.

“Who can I turn to? Tell me where to begin? When you cry like a rainstorm And you howl like the wind?”

But then Twelves found Arym. Mt. Katmai was a disaster. Unmitigated and demoralizing. Their friend was bleeding more from his soul than he was from his wounds. They lost both of the soldiers that August wanted to save. And after returning, Norhi once again added two more faces to the memory album of everyone she’d failed. All the while, her friends were working themselves to breaking points. And others were sinking into despair at their own failures and weaknesses. And Norhi had no idea how to help. Her magic and potions couldn’t heal broken hearts.

“When you cry like a rainstorm? And you howl like the wind?”

For now Norhi kept pacing and singing. She wanted to regret coming here. She wanted to wish she’d never seen this country. She wanted to say that all the heartache never happened. She wanted to cry. She wanted to howl.

Instead she sang.

And maybe her voice floated through the windows, into the town and homes of her friends and family.

((Song: Cry Like a Rainstorm by Linda Rondstadt))

[irises-and-daffodils]

I read and cling to letters and books hoping they give me the comfort I need. I breakdown freely knowing that all things don’t have to end. I gave up on myself long ago and I dug a hole thinking that I didn’t want to get out of it. I thought everything and everyone would eventually give up on me as I have felt for the entirety of my life. I have motivation now even as I’m tired. I find myself clawing my way out. I am not so much of a difficult person as I thought I was. I thought I was unlovable, unworthy of love, but mostly a burden. It’s hard to live everyday because no amount of books or people can convince you when you’re blind sighted by every bad thing that happened to you. I’ve been called a pig, a bitch, arrogant all because I didn’t focus on everyone else. I realize I’m happy creating my playlists and routines. I’m happy reading as many books as I can. I’m happy learning and constantly growing. I thought I could thrive at home but honestly I can’t. I am not me. I’m breaking out of a paralyzing state. I have made mistakes and slowly I’m forgiving myself for them. I’ll admit there are moments where I don’t see the purpose of living because all I’ve seen myself as is a person that takes care of everything. I haven’t seen myself as someone worthy of it every good thing in life. When I started going out to concerts and feeling the ocean breeze in the Bay Area and Central Coast beaches I knew I loved life but I never knew how I could cope with it. Beauty torments you in ways that puzzle you. It would torment me I guess because one good taste and that’s all you could ever want for the entirety of life but also knowing it’s not always going to be there. It’s not knowing how to cope with the the fact that the meaning of my existence is not to just to serve, but truly live and love as well. I witness my parents argue. I witness everyone’s life and at one point I thought I was doomed to repeat it all. Maybe I’ll repeat one or two mistakes but I won’t make them all. I have to remind myself that all the doom and gloom comes from learning about my parents and their life and always forgetting that I have one of my own. I’m writing this because I’m really stressed. I see the ways things go down and I feel true and utter discomfort. I fear screaming, I fear my mothers anger as she always threatens to hurt me or abandon me. I fear my step dads reckless behavior as he always pushes and becomes reckless and blinded with anger and passive aggressive behavior. I fear not communicating properly with my significant other. I fear not communicating with friends. I fear not doing the right things and I’m not expecting perfection because that’s the the thing that destroyed me in the first place, but I’m expecting to push through and put myself in a better place. I will admit sometimes I do think that I am a burden and that no one wants anything to do with me. It all boils down to my parents not wanting to have to do much with me. I parented them, and knew every single problem, pity, and ounce of negative emotion. I found myself crying heavily this morning and I’m still tearing up here and there. I am really tired of feeling every negative emotion from everyone. I am still very grateful for everything and everyone but now I need to take care of myself. I need to be better for myself. I have an increasing number of nightmares as of lately. I have a bit of anxiety. I’m still growing. I’m not in a permanent position. I’m going to be a better person. I am a better person. At least I think I am.

[talesfromeorzea]

Future

@ishgard​

Day 4 Prompt: Peace

Peace for Ishgard, a phrase Sallee never thought she would hear in her lifetime, but here it was.  As she stood amidst the crowd gathered before Saint Reymanaud’s cathedral watching as Aymeric launched skyward upon the wyvern’s back she felt a happiness she never thought she would.

For a thousand years her people had been at war, a thousand years they and dragons both had needlessly shed blood again and again over the greed of her ancestors.  The truth of the war was known and while many still struggled to accept it.  Ishgard at long last found itself at peace.  No more would the children of Ishgard grow to learn to fight and die in the flames of battle against dragons.  No more would dragons grow and be compelled by Nidhogg's roar to enact his vengeance.  No more would Isghardians drink dragon's blood to transform and become a part of his never ending hoard.  

And although she had long since stopped considering herself Ishgardian, Sallee still felt a sense of pride that her kinsman could finally begin to move forward beyond the crushing weight of constant war.   She couldn’t help but smile as she heard an elder near her say, “It's finally over dear, no more will our sons and grandsons die from fire or claws…”

Her husband beside her nodded looking pensive, overtly wanting to voice concerns but not wanting to spoil his wifes elation.  Sallee decided to speak up stating softly, “Aye now our people can move forward from the pains of the past.  Learn from our ancestors' mistakes and not repeat them.”

The man jerked and looked at her. It only took a moment for him to recognize who she was and he nodded, “Aye Warrior, ye have the right of it.  It's just……”

“You find it difficult to forgive and forget,” she responded knowing full well many of her kinsmen were of similar reluctance, “That is not what is being asked sir.  We are simply asking people to learn from the past and look for a brighter morrow.  I know there are many who find it difficult to see dragons as something other than the enemy.  However in my experience with them I have seen first hand they are as many and varied as man is.  The “enemy” were those who could not let go of Nidhogg's hate, his desire for vengeance.  But not all dragons were part of those, the ones you see here chose the path of peace rather than blood.”

He blinked for a moment then slowly nodded, hearing the point she was making overtly by the look in his eyes and judging by the looks she saw on other faces many around him did as well.

“To forget this war, is to repeat it.  We must remember what happened, all of the pain, the suffering and try to prevent it from happening again.  I know all we've been taught is right now being shaken but remember this, we are not the Knights of Eld nor do we need to be, we are ourselves and I believe the Fury would rather see her people live to battle another day instead of throwing the life she gives away.  Instead of clinging to the past let us look to the future and make it as bright and beautiful as we can for those that follow us.”

She saw again many in the crowd near her nodding and looking eager for the future, also those with anger in their eyes and overt hatred.  She expected this and then gave a soft smile stating, “If we let ourselves cling to the hate and anger of the past, we will be the same as Nidhogg.”

This caused many of the naysayers to start and glare at her all the harder and she continued, “I cannot bring myself to hate Nidhogg to be honest.  He chose his path out of grief and self hate,”

Several people blinked and she continued, “His brood sister died because she spoke truly and relayed his feelings to the King and his knights.  He felt responsible and was enraged that over mere words they chose the path of blood.  Nidhogg was a prisoner of his own emotions and driven mad because of it.  So, I don’t hate him even with all the suffering he has caused to our kin, because tell me this and tell me true, if any of you had lost a loved one to similar treachery would you not choose that path as well?”

Some of those who had hatred in their eyes had it fade to become contemplative instead weighing her words and actually considering them.  To which she was grateful, if Ishgard was to move forward her people needed to think more than react.

There was suddenly a rush of air above them and the crowd backed up as Vidofnir hovered a moment before landing and looking at Sallee, “A Warrior, I was hoping to see thee.  I wanted to thank thee for keeping thy word, for ending the war.”

Sallee gave a smile, “I told you then and I meant it I was tired of seeing both our peoples die to bloodshed and hate.  I wanted the cycle to end and now it has, now we can take steps toward a more peaceful future,”

Vidofnir nodded, “Aye, that we can, I look forward to a day when our kindred can work fully together as they did in the days of eld.”  She then looked over the crowd adding, “A day when thou can look upon  a visage such as mine and not feel uncertainty.  Mayhap thy children or thy children's children shall. Till that day my kindred will endeavor to show thee we are not thine enemy.”

With that she took to the sky along with her brood father and brother and together they flew off back to Abalathia’s spine.  Sallee simply smiled and waved as she flew off then turned to those she had been speaking to saying, “I look forward to such a day as well when my kin can let go of the hate of the past.”

And with that she left, setting out into the city proper to join in the celebration that was starting, a celebration of war's end and life beginning anew.

[verwebb]

Harmony in Chaos

“Remember, pupil Webb, remaining calm in the height of chaos is the key to Mistweaving. One can not maintain control if their Chi is distracted.” 

The words rang in her ears, a never ending mantra that she has been forced to remember in this wartime. The young monk’s mind floated away, allowing herself the momentarily peace to mediate, quickly recentering herself. Just outside the tent’s “doors” the battle for Amirdrassil raged on, creating a sickly sweet scent of flame and foliage. 

Just as soon as that peace was found, it would be shattered. Rushed voices shouting in Darnassian quickly approached the tent. Her Darnassian was weak, at best, but one word she would never forget “Shadowflame”. “Shadowflame. Shadowflame. Shadowflame” the Elvish voices screamed out, preparing the medics for the worst. As the tent flew open, a quick catch in Veronica’s throat nearly made her collapse. Every patient that was rushed into the tent looked like her beloved Aeraelynn to her, as her worry of not being beside her on the battlefield ate at her, but this woman actually looked like her wife. Long black hair, olive skin, but no mechanical leg. The Monk inhaled, striding forward. 

“My cot.” She’d say, in her most passable Darnassian. As the Kaldorei placed the woman down. “My name is Veronica, do you prefer Common or Thalassian?” 

“Thalassian.” The woman spoke up, her voice hoarse. Her body was badly burned, blisters popped and pussed over the majority of the left side of her body. Cinders and sparks of Void crackled and snaked over her skin, as the Shadowflame ate away at her body and soul.

“You are badly burned. The treatment will not be pleasant, but I am confident I can keep you stable.” Veronica said, her voice calm and flat. Her glowing eyes, running over the Sin’dorei’s body, seeking for clues beneath the surface to prevent the Void from creeping too far into the woman.

“Your bedside… Is terrible.” The Elf said, a cracked laugh coming from her.

“I apologize.” Veronica replied, once again flat. Not the best at understanding humor. “This is going to hurt for just a moment, please forgive me.” A few gentle finger pokes along the Elf’s body, pressing into the burned flesh. Her Chi pulsing through her, shutting off the pathways the Shadowflame was creeping along. Working on borrowed time, the corruption seeped dangerously close to her patient’s heart. 

The Elf grit her teeth, even the gentle sensation was painful along her burned skin. Slowly, however, a decent amount of pain would subside. The monk’s careful work shut down parts of the woman’s nervous system; a magical pain killer, of sorts. Her breathing labored, she’d stare at the Monk, silently.

Veronica waved her hands about the patient, as a glittering, jaded mist began to take form within her hands. It swirled and danced in the sky above them both, creating a pleasant dewy smell to combat the harsh rot and flame that radiated off of the elven woman. With precision and focus, Veronica found her center. No longer did she stand in the med-tent, she floated above a spring at the Temple of the White Tiger, her movements graceful, every sway and step was with purpose.

“You are getting it, Pupil Webb.” Her Mistweaving mentor said. “Your work to focus in that bustling city is paying off. Remember, Yu’lon is gentle, graceful, like the water. You are a master at the style of our Xuen, now you must learn to adapt. Reposition yourself, loosen your stance, and find your center.” 

“Adapt.”

“Graceful.”

“Find your center.”

Veronica would open her eyes as a surge of Mist erupted around her. Her white glowing eyes seemed to shift, taking on a gentle Jaded undertone. As her hands danced over the Elf, the mist would wrap itself around Veronica, taking the form of a Jade Serpent. 

“I will work to cleanse her corruption, Mistweaver. You focus on her bodily injuries.” A voice echoed in her head.

The Elven patient, clenched her eyes shut. The cooling sensation of the mist over her wounds creating an unbearable pain.

“I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. Not like this.” She’d beg, nearly silently, as the monk worked vigorously at her bedside. Her right hand reached out to grip onto Veronica’s robes.

As the mist enveloped over the Elf, slowly her burns would start to dry and repair. An hour passed before Veronica would be able to stop. Sweat beaded over her forehead and face, her bangs clinging to her skin. She’d try to catch her breath, smiling down at her patient. 

“You are going to be alright. You will have scars, but… You will be alright.” She’d watch the Elf’s face, forced to accept her new future.

“Thank you, doctor…” She’d say, defeated, but alive. As the nurses moved her to the rehabilitation area of the tent, V would lean onto the bed for balance. Proficient as she was, she was still learning. Such extended use was draining for her and she was thankful for the moment of zen.

“Shadowflame! Shadowflame!” Those voices echoed once more outside the tent. The monk would inhale, brushing her bangs back. Exhausted, mentally in turmoil, but she’d rush to meet the emissaries at the tent’s entrance. 

“My cot.” She’d say, once again, as the smell of burning flesh assailed her nose yet again. 

[sunnytarg]

Hi Sunny!

I was wondering can you write something with Aegon and female reader. Aegon wants the reader to sit on his face but the reader is shy and nervous. But Aegon just continues to reassure her that it’s gonna be okay and both of them end up enjoying it. I’m sorry I really don’t know how to write a request🧍‍♀️

yay! It's my first request! I know I wrote this in a weird format so pls forgive me.

Aegon isn’t sure what being a good husband actually looks like but he was determined to try and be a decent husband (and not just because Aemond bet that he couldn’t do it.) for his new Lady wife. He knew that everyone was expecting failure from him. His own mother hadn’t even let him meet his future bride until the wedding was to take place because she was so sure that he would do something to dishonor her.

He wasn’t sure what to expect of his new wife. All he was told was that she was raised to be the perfect image of a lady. Of course, after meeting her he began to learn more about her for himself. For one, she enjoyed the libraries in the red keep and hated the stench of Kings Landing.

She was sensible in front of everyone but once she began to start to feel comfortable in front of him he could see some of the tension in her melt away.

Aegon still wasn’t sure about how he felt about marriage overall but he knew that he had started to care deeply for his wife. In fact, it was only three moons after their wedding that they had their first stumble.

The best way to describe his new Lady wife in a word was ‘innocent’. She had clearly been taught about the more sensual parts of marriage from septas. Aegon of course wasn’t complaining. He got to introduce her to new things, things that she wouldn’t have even dreamt of. What was even better was that he got to introduce such things to her which meant he got to hear her moans and feel her nails dig into his skin.

He never would quite forget the night, a moon after their wedding, when he suggested that she ride him. The look on her face and the feel of her hips in his hands as he helped push her up and down on his cock. When he lent up to lick and suck on her tits he swore that the guards that guarded their door heard her moaning.

It was this thought and several goblets of wine that led him to bringing up something he’d been thinking of since he first saw her naked.

He didn’t just want to spread her legs and shove his face between and devour her within an inch of her life like he had taken to doing at least once a day. He wanted to lay back as she propped herself over his face and took her pleasure from him.

He knew it would be met with immediate resistance. She would say no before actually knowing what he was asking.

“If you want to taste me so badly why can’t we just do what we’ve been doing?” She asked with a slight flush in her cheeks. Aegon couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or from the wine they consumed together.

“Because I want to lay back and have my wife be in control?” He murmured as he licked a strip from her shoulder to her ear. Eventually whispering huskily in her ear, “I only want to give you pleasure, my wife. Make you see the stars as I make you cum with my tongue.”

She was quiet for a moment before saying, “what if I suffocate you?”

He turned her face towards him with two fingers on her chin and smirked. He truly was blessed with such a delicious woman. “Then I would die a happy man.”

Aegon shimmied down their bed so that his head was on one of their many pillows. His beautiful and oh so innocent wife looked and him hesitantly before she turned to straddle him. Looking at her he was glad that they had already had some fun earlier because he knew he had no patience to strip her of her clothing now.

He chuckled lowly he she didn’t move any further than his torso. “As much as I love when you ride my cock, I want you up here.” He said before gripping her hips and pulling her towards his face.

She was already breathing heavily as she slowly positioned herself over his face. He nipped at her inner thigh causing her to squeal before he stuck his tongue to swipe at her wet slit. She shuddered and it was just the cue that Aegon was waiting for to pull her down further so that she was properly on his face.

He couldn’t pay attention to her moaning and mewling and he drove his tongue through her folds and brought it up to swirl around her clit.

It didn’t take long before her hesitancy was lost and she was grinding against his tongue and pulling at his silver hair. As much as he loved the taste of wine he was sure that the juices coming from the woman above him were addictive.

He moved his hands from her hips to grip her plump ass as she cried out in pleasure. He tasted it as she came on his tongue. He moaned at the salty flavor and the sounds she was making. He tried to hold her against his face for a bit longer before she finally fell away and lay next to him.

He waited for her to catch her breath before he leaned in and kissed her, making sure she tasted herself on his tongue. When he pulled away he smiled greedily at her, “just wait for what else I can show you.”