#and at the end of May I went to NM with a friend for a concert

[restinthewest]

I’d say that this past year in particular I’ve gained a fresh appreciation for winter; I can appreciate the opportunities for coziness, the beauty, I’ve always loved snow. Every season has its time and winter is lovely in many ways!

But mannn am I a summer gal at heart. This past week I’ve been dreaming of floating on a river or a lake in a tube on an unreasonably hot day with a montucky cold snack. I want to be on a Mexican restaurant patio at 8 pm, sweating because it’s hot AND because of spicy food. I want to be sitting in a moderately uncomfortable camping chair on a sandy shore. I want to stroll through a storm of sweet smelling cottonwood fluff. I want to fully stick my face against a ponderosa right after it’s rained and inhale till I feel lightheaded. I want to get in my car after it’s been sitting and momentarily feel like I’ve entered an oven.

[sighs-deeply-and-dreadfully]

HI SO HI UHMM I'm gonna try making this as non-weird and as short as I can even though I don't even know how to explain this rn-

Could I request hcs of Eddie and frank (together not separately poh) with a gn! reader that reminds them of a child kinda-?? SO TO PUT IT INTO WORDS UHH the reader is kinda child-ish and curious (like a child ofc😋) and a lot of the neighbors say that they're like a baby put in a /pos way! So technically the reader is frank and eddies non-biological child

Honestly- I imagine they got that one backpack with a leash for children for the reader or smth since the reader strays off a lot😭

Tinkyu 4 reading this and even acknowledging this even if I made some stuff non-understandable!!! This totally isnt that cute person that requested 4 astronomer reader (TOTALLY totally it isn't obvious right??) /j

KEEP SLAYING PO LABYU /PLATONIC

I just realized I made this so long i am sorey😢😔

WAHAHHA!! HELLO AGAIN HOSHI!! Love you too!!! /p

Hehehe.. found family… froths at the mouth, pacing in circles in my enclosure /lhj /pos

I am absolutely happy to write for this, and I don’t find it weird at all! No worries! Although I may use different wording at times :] /g /nm

Scampering, Scuttling

Frank Frankly/Eddie Dear x GN!Childish!Reader

Headcanons Format, All Relations with the Reader are Platonic (Frank and Eddie, however, are in a romantic relationship!)

When you first moved into the neighbourhood, your affinity for curiosity and lack of self-preservation quickly landed you onto Frank Frankly’s radar.

From scrapes knees to splintered hands, being stung by a bee, or getting stranded in a tree— your curiosity led you to many troubling situations. All of which Frank would march up to aid you out of with gentle lecturing.

“Neighbour, I am aware I told you of Bumble bees being one of the friendliest types of bees, but that does not mean grab them??”

You leave him in a confused mess of how you even end up in half of the situations you do. He ends up ranting (lovingly) about this to his darling partner, Eddie Dear.

“Oh-! The new neighbour? I didn’t know you two we’re friends.” He’d happily chirp to Frank, who was coddled up by his side.

“We are, yes! But they’re— like- agh-! Like an overexcited puppy!! I found them trying to pick up a centipede today!! A centipede!”

Do not be mistaken, Frank only raves because he cares! His extravagant expression of concern is how he shows he cares, along with picking you up after you fell into a river and drenched yourself. He isn’t truly angry! Just worried BAHA

“Awhah! I’m sure it isn’t too bad, butterfly.” Eddie would laugh cheerily, giving his partner’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Maybe you could introduce me to them? Maybe I can help.”

And this, my dear reader, was how you got properly introduced to Eddie Dear.

To help you explore a bit (in a safer way than running through the surrounding forest), Eddie would take you on his paper runs— introducing you to all the neighbours.

Sometimes, he’d hold your hand on these runs— mainly just to get you to follow! He had quickly discovered you had a tendency to wobble off wherever you pleased, though you didn’t seem to realize half the time— leading to a few stumbles apologies when you eventually found him again. So, his solution was just to gently hold your hand as you two went on the routes!

.. He’d then buy you a treat from Howdy’s afterwards. He enjoys spoiling people!! But, ah, sugar rushes.

“.. Why would you let them eat so much chocolate?” Frank would ask, raising a brow as you ricocheted off the walls nearby.

“..They looked really happy about it.” He’d reply, with a nervous smile— soon laughing a bit at Frank’s soft sigh and playful eye roll.

“If they end up in a hole, it’s your fault, sweetheart.”

“That’s fine-!!”

Overall, it didn’t take the two long to start behaving somewhat parent-like towards you, more than they already had.

Frank would check you over for injures and plaster you in bug-themed bandaids, along with reading you “stories” from his books (and sometimes an actual story book).

He was a lot more reserved than Eddie, leading to most activities done with him being rather tame ones.

.. you could sometimes chase him around, though. Which, albeit he wouldn’t admit it, he does find fun in. Kind of like how people go to haunted houses for fun; he gets hunted in a house. /lhj

Eddie, meanwhile, would play with you a lot! He’d take you on walks of the town, and help you explore the place in a way that doesn’t have Frank screaming in worry at the end of the day.

He’s the classic “wanna play catch?” kind of person, to be honest, leading to a lot of playing ball and running around.

Both of them care about you very much! But still respect the fact you, very much, aren’t a genuine child and respect you like a friend. Because you are! You’re their friend!

But to say they don’t fret over you like parents would be a lie. BAHA!!

GWAAH this was so fun to write!! I’m sorry if it’s kind of short, though-!! But I still hope it was enjoyable :] I love writing for Eddie and Frank fhehrfnfnw froths at the mouth i love them. squeezes them both like those stress toys that have the eyes pop out /aff

[adobealmanac]

El Tecolote (The Owl)

From the Nahuatl Tecolotl. In New Mexico, there is a story to be found about the owl. A magnificent creature it is, but as magnificent it is equally feared. You must know the right generation to hear this tale, and I hope to document it here.

Firstly, you must understand the culture of spirituality in New Mexico. Witchcraft is unspoken. Brujos are unwanted, until you need them. Witches are believed to be solely evil here. They are closer akin to flesh pedestrians than they are to the modern witch, atleast in folklore. That is.. until you seek one out. Then, they are simply a means to an end.

Here is one of those tales: Isabella once visited her friend Ramira. Isabella did not know Ramira was a witch. Both went to bed late in the evening, after spreading the chisme (gossip). They retired to the bedroom, and shared the same bed. Around midnight (the best time to practice mischief and execute revenge, as the old folks say) Isabella saw Ramira get out of bed, and light a candle. She pulled out her eyes (leaving only her witches eye in place), and sat them in her filigree silver box. She began to shrivel up, becoming the size of a rat. She flew out of the chimney, riding inside of a dried chile pod. Evidently, Isabella could no longer stay in the house. She quickly dressed, and ran to her home as fast as she could. As she was running, she saw a large owl perched atop the old cottonwood. El Tecolote was a fearsome sight in New Mexico, as it was the sign of a nearly-advanced witch. The stages of witchcraft in NM would follow a simple path of: - The Dove, or apprentice - The Owl, or practitioner - The Dog, or old hag -The Fox, or a backstabber or vengeful spirit It is understandable now why owls were often feared, as many believed them to be witches in their prime. Owls were thought to be their preferred form. Their hoots are bad omens, telling of misfortune and loss. If they were seen standing for prolonged periods of time it was a sure sign of evil nearby. While owls are certainly not witches in disguise (although I would love to transform into an owl; it would make traffic easier to navigate) it may be worth noting this story if you plan on traveling through NM at night. If you see an owl during your travels through our region, do beware, and maybe skip that sketchy motel on the side of the road, as it may not be as convenient as you first thought.

[bucketspammer4life]

Woo lets go!! Can I ask for hc's of Hondo x Sandman confessing to each other and how it went on?

Also if ain't muchbof a bother, can I ask for your opinion on the ship? hehe

for my opinion on the ship: 10/10, love it lots!! It has a lot of fic potential and if i can get out of my writing block ill maybe write something about it, its not a promise but it may happen /nm, now for the confession thing...

I feel like they would find out/confess accidentally either from word getting out or a slip of the tongue

I feel like they would talk about their crushes to close friends and having it spread to the point of them confronting each other and asking "do you have a crush on me?" And both of them ending up confessing to each other, i feel like hondo would ask first, idk its just a gut feeling

[artemismoorea03]

I heard you were continuing MAA on ao3 and was shocked! It's been so long that I honestly need a refresher. I wanna re read it, but there's sm going on in life and not exactly mentally ok and so I'm lowkey scared to re read 😭

Also where do you get your inspection? And why do you put the lmk crew through sm 🍇 and SA 😭 /genq/nm/nf

But yeah

I LOOOOOOVE your work

It was a surprise to hear the series is STILL going after like 2 years /pos

Yep! MAA is going strong again, though it may be on another hiatus soon due to the fact that my spouse and I are going to be moving here very soon! Honestly, I would suggest reading it again if/when your mental health is better because it is heavy but some edits have been made on previous parts and some other parts - specifically Kids Aren't Alright - has been deleted to help the canon of MAA flow better. Some parts of that will come back but for the most part we're going in with a clean slate.

As for the inspiration behind MAA and the stuff that's all complicated but to sum it up a lot of it was inspired by personal experiences. I'm not entirely comfortable going more into detail than that on the inspiration for those certain situations but other inspirations also included; animes, books, cartoons, my friends, and just ideas that I thought would help the story flow better! Which is a lot more fun than the other stuff.

Now, onto the big and heavier aspect of your question the SA and other dark topics. As my spouse put it I am a "Gray Writer". I do not shy away form the dark topics but I also don't make it as simple as "good" and "evil" either. Good people can do bad things and evil characters can do good things.

Prime examples of this in MAA is Guanyin who did a bad thing not because she was a bad guy but because she felt she didn't have another choice. Then there's Tu who was - in the majority of the story - was a bad guy who ended up surrendering which was a good thing because he realized the error of his ways.

Other examples are Changpu, Ironhide, and Birdbrain.

This is similar with the SA situation in MAA. Situations like the ones that the characters find themselves in are ones that happen can happen to anybody. And as one very pissed off commenter pointed out once "Nezha is one of the strongest Gods, this would never happen to him" well that was one of the exact points I was trying to make with it. Yes, Nezha is one of the most powerful Gods but he's still a person and being strong doesn't mean that they can't be hurt.

Macaque has been assaulted multiple times since he was a teenager to the point where he almost expects it now whenever he faces a villain and often doesn't see it as an issue - which happens with people in those situations. Those things still bother him, of course, but he thinks it's more of an issue he brought on himself rather than a horrible thing that happened to him.

MK had never been exposed to something like that before and had no idea what to expect and was thrown for a loop. He didn't know what to do or how to process it but was saved so that makes him assume that it "wasn't as traumatic" for him or that his trauma isn't as valid. Which it is. It is completely valid and he went through hell. His assault is just as valid as Macaque's and Nezha's even if it didn't go as far as theirs did.

Then there's Nezha, who as I previous said is very strong. It was that strength that made him think he was protected from that kind of thing and that same reason that kept him from returning to the Celestial Realm for so long. Because, just like that commenter, he assumed most of the Celestial Realm would immediately assume that it was 'farfetched' or 'ridiculous' because of how strong he was.

These are three very real scenarios that people all around the world face and topics that many people ignore and avoid talking about. Trauma's are messy, uncomfortable, and complicated. They're not something that most people want to touch which is exactly why I do cover them.

I refuse to shy away from those dark topics because in the same way I write to process I know there are people out there who read those dark topics to process their own emotions.

I will continue to write as long and far as I can on this series and any other series and I'm excited to see people are excited for the return again! I have a lot planned and I also have a goal (a couple of them) but the one I'm currently talking about is to reach 1 Million words on MAA and if/when I do I'm going to treat myself with a new tattoo. I'm thinking an A03 tattoo but I might also commission somebody who's read the series to design me a tattoo inspired by MAA but we'll have to see on my money situation at that point :3 /gen /pos

Anyways, thanks so much for the comment, it made my day to read it! And thank you for using tone tags! You're amazing! /gen

I hope things get better for you <3

Ari

[sheepprophet]

The Forced Family Theory™

Credit to Jelly, Oracle, and Moss for coming up with this theory with me! <3 (And then nominating me to be the one to post it,, :| /nm)

So, I was discussing the reveal that the Disc Confrontation was staged on Discord with Oracle and Moss. We were specifically having a back and forth on why Dream would’ve allowed—much less wanted—himself to be locked away in Pandora’s Vault. I had previously suggested that maybe he planned to be locked in the prison all along which is another post for another time. But even then, it didn’t really make sense why he would put himself through that, when he knew what the conditions of the prison were like.

Moss mentioned that maybe it was to convince Sam that he never intended to be locked inside (which is a pretty good shout) and I offered that maybe he wanted sympathy from the other server members when he eventually escaped.

To the latter, Oracle rebutted, “But he royally screwed up any sympathy points he may have gotten by immediately going back after Tommy.” She went on to add, “Like, he knows Tommy has a large base of friends that defend him no matter what, that's why he exiled him in the first place, to cut off ties Tommy had [in order] to use him. He’s gotta know that the “convince everyone Tommy's crazy” plan is shit. Especially since he’s done nothing to drive that point home. I think the “everyone’s gonna think I’ve changed’ line is just to torment Tommy.”

This prompted Jelly—genius that they are—to pop in and suggest, “I really don't like this theory, but I'm pretty sure Dream tormented Tommy so much to make him as sympathetic as possible. Not enough people cared about Dream to become a tight, close-knit family, so Dream made someone that everyone would have to care about, if out of nothing else but pity.”

Cue me, Moss, and Oracle all collectively losing our absolute minds because that makes so much fucking sense? (Explanation under the cut!)

As Jelly said, Dream on his own wasn’t enough to bring everyone together. But maybe he could manufacture someone who could be. So he manipulated, abused, and tortured Tommy for the sake of making him sympathetic to everyone else on the server. All to further his own goal of getting them to be the big family he’s claimed he’s always wanted them to be.

It’s difficult to tell when exactly this may have become Dream’s motivation, but I’d wager that it was somewhere around the end of season 1/beginning of season 2. Because that’s when Dream’s actions clearly became much more tunnel-visioned on Tommy.

If that’s the case, then that’s why Dream forced Tubbo to exile his best friend. It was a sort of test—to see if Tubbo was already attached to Tommy enough to choose Tommy over his responsibility to L’manberg. And when it turned out he wasn’t, it came packaged with it’s own punishment for choosing L’manberg over Tommy. Tubbo was made to feel unbearably guilty over it and he desperately missed Tommy the entire time he was gone. It made him value his friendship with Tommy all that much more and it taught Tubbo to never choose anything over Tommy again or he'd risk feeling that way all over again.

Exile, of course, also worked to make Tommy experience an adequate amount of pain and suffering to, in theory, make anyone sympathize with him and want to protect him. (Though, unfortunately, that didn’t exactly happen, so Dream began constructing Pandora’s Vault three days later with a new plan in mind.)

And that’s why he staged the Disc Confrontation—why he was so willing to be whittled down to (presumably) his last canon life, lose all of his stuff, and then be locked in his own prison. Because at least most of the server was coming together for once to defend Tommy and Tubbo.

That’s why he beat Tommy to death in the cell they’d been trapped in together for a week and then waited days to bring him back. He wanted enough time to pass for everyone outside to learn of Tommy’s death and to feel his loss. Afterall, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

That’s why his first action when getting out of prison (after meeting with Punz) was to go straight to Logsted. To torment Tommy further while corralling him to Phil—one of the few people who didn’t show up for the Disc Confrontation. As another test, to see if Phil was sufficiently attached to Tommy. If Phil would defend Tommy against Dream. And Phil passed.

On top of that, tormenting Tommy—triggering him and forcing him to relive his trauma—reopened the wound Tommy had tried so desperately to heal while Dream was in prison. And because of his worsened mental state, what is Tommy doing now? Rallying people to fight Dream with him—exactly what Dream wants.

Paraphrasing what Oracle said: “All this time, the Tommy obsession made no sense. Dream’s sadism benefits him in no way. He’s pragmatic. Why would he keep it up with everything to lose? Because he needs the entire server to rally [against] a singular villain to come together again. The only way he can do that is by being that villain. That’s why Punz sees helping Dream as “saving” Tommy. That’s why he’s so fixated on Tommy. Because Tommy, in the past, has been the biggest divider on the server. So if he can get the entire server behind him…?”

Moss also eloquently pointed out, “[Dream] wasn’t lying in the Attachment Hall—Tommy really is the key to attachment. He needs everyone attached to Tommy to bring them together.”

And, finally, just in case you’re convinced by the level of ~drama~ something offers, imagine:

A final showdown with Dream. Everyone on the server banded together behind Tommy, with Dream backed into a corner.

“You've lost, Dream," someone says from the crowd.

“No,” Dream replies in a pleased tone, “I haven’t. Because look at you... You’re all together now, aren’t you? One big, happy family.”

TL;DR Dream is purposefully setting Tommy up to be the protagonist of the server. Thus bringing the whole server together as the big, happy family he wants them to be, against him.

[wangxianficrecs]

Fic Finder

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1.  Hi, I'm looking for an Untamed fic, maybe you'll be able to help. It's a canon divergence AU in which WWX doesn't lose his core, Jiang Fengmian lives and it's implied that his core was transferred to JC (heavily implied; JFM retires as the Sect Leader after that). This is absolutely not the most important part of this fic but it's a paragraph that I've got stuck in my head and now I'm searching for the rest @_@ Thanks in advance! ~ @otemporaetmores

FOUND! by @notsobabblespace, who was reminded of  I’m aching and I know you are too by edenwolfie (part 3 in series, M, 23k, wangxian)

FOUND!  by @jim-is-spocks-thyla, who suggests ❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian) [ETA:  Oops, not this one.  JFM has no core, but he didn’t give it to JC]

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2.  Hi Mojo! I’m in need of you/your followers help in finding a fic that I read a little while ago. It was a fic where Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi lived together in Cloud Recesses and their children were Sizhui and an OOC that was younger than him. I remember SiZhui faced a lot of criticism for not being the chief cultivator’s real child? And they were happy he had a younger sibling that would be sect leader in the future because he was blood. Come to think of it, this is probably an ABO fic too. Thanks for your time 💜

FOUND! @andidontmeanto believes this is Blue Blood by PotterheadAvengerDemigod (T, 91k, wangxian, my post)

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3.  Aksks it's like 3 am but I just remembered a fic and I can't find it?? I'd really, really appreciate your help. It was a wangxian fic, maybe a oneshot idk, and lwj was kind of a nerd and wwx a badboy? So basically lwj has a massive crush on him and dresses up like wwx etc. (i think he even got an undercut) and after a party they sleep with each other at lwj's place?

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4.  i’m looking for a fic set in the where lwj’s mother killed his father? i don’t think that was a main plot point but it did show up in his backstory - any idea what this might be? ~ @thehype

FOUND!  @rentslirott thinks this could be ❤️the best of you by sysrae (E, 42k, wangxian, my post)

FOUND!  @castaways-logbook offers  The Right to Care by travelingneuritis (E, 39k, wangxian, WIP)

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5.  ... same as #6 ...

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6.  Hello friend, sorry for the inconvenience but I wanted to see if you could please find me a fic that I lost but I only remember more or less the final part, it goes more or less like this, lan zhan and wei ying are kidnapped by jin guangyao and lock them up if not I'm wrong in some cells next to lan xichen after the fights jin guangyao dies but lan xichen did know how bad jin guangyao had done and he didn't care and then to get revenge he wants to kill wei ying but lan zhan kills him and sizhui gets scared It was more or less like that, please help me ~ @isa0123lol

FOUND!  by @wangxiansfics who says that tragically it’s no longer available, but @dulachodladh found it on WaybackMachine here: Thread and Needle by haysel (M, 86k, wangxian)

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7.  Hi, Mojo! I'm glad that you're back but I hope you enjoyed your time off tumblr! Can you and/or your followers help me find a fic? I think the summary was talking about wwx and somehow they were asking mingjue for help since he's the only one who can help. The summary was in italics and it's a dialogue from some guy? And a shorter summary below. Sadly this is the only thing I can remember but I hope you can still help me

FOUND!  @alwayswenning suggests love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, has it’s own fanfic here, I just finished this last night!, my bookmark)

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8.  Sorry to bombard you as soon as you're back, but this one's driving me crazy--a modern AU where they met online. WWX thinks LWJ is an old man from how he talks. I don't remember much except the excerpt made it seem like he still was amused by/enjoyed talking to him, and Wen Qing was telling him it was a bad idea and to stop. It's not How to Fall In Love With a Catfish, tho that one is brilliant! (Also any top notch identity porn would be great) Hope your break was restful, you deserve it! Thanks

Here’s my #identity porn tag, but I’m not sure about this exact story.

I'm the anon for #8 on the fic finder. Though I'm excited to read it, the suggested fic isn't the one I was looking for. I swear I thought I saw it on here around a month ago or slightly more, but searches have failed me.

FOUND!  Rating: General Audiences by Mishaa (T, 18k, wangxian WIP) -  mysterious author LWJ (speculated to be an old man because of his formality) and infamous artist WWX paired up for an Untamed Big Bang (in an AU where JGY was the series’ antiheroic protagonist; this fic was written before the release of CQL.)

FOUND?  could you be looking for  Something Real by Latios (G, 5k, wangxian, my post) - wwx thinks lwj is an old man, but there’s no WQ.  There are many pictures of bunnies.

SIMILAR! @emilysidhe thought of ID Bro Saga by Bowandtie (T, 39k, wangxian)

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9.  Hey, how are you? Could you help me please? I've read 3 fanfics once, but I can't find them anymore. 1 - Nanny Problem, Wei is going to be the babysitter of A-Yuan, he is an omega and Lan is an alpha. 2 - Doctor Perfect, Yibo is an omega nurse and Xiao is an alpha doctor. 3 - The Baby of my Omega, Yibo is omega and Xiao is alpha, both of them are bodyguards, but Yibo has to protect Xiao in the beginning. I think they were at ao3, but I really can't find them. Can you help me please? Thank you!! ~ @weallmad

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10.  Hi! Im happy you’re back. I hope you had a good break. I missed your recommendations, but at the same time i got a break from fics and actually studied to my tests haha.  [Ah!  I’m glad to hear your time was spent productively!]  I’m looking for a fic like Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground. In the fic im looking for wangxian slowly lose their senses instead of all of them at once. Like they lose their hearing, then touch, sight etc, They can’t see each other or hear each other. I’m sorry i can’t explain very well.

FOUND?  Could you be thinking of  ❤️shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (E, 25k, wangxian)?  Only lwj losese his senses one by one in this one, though.

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11.  heyyy im trying to find this fic where wwx died the first time he was thrown in to the burial mounds then 10 years later he gets resurrected or something. I can't find it on AO3 and it's been bugging me for days. Thank you!

FOUND!  Well, @moku-youbi offers both of these as possibilities:

Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? by 3988Akasha (E, 100k, wangxian)

we're starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 95k, wangxian)

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12.  Hi I am looking for a fic where wwx is a witch (/mage?) in a world where magic is being persecuted (especially in Gusu) except for Yunmeng/Lanling I think but they're still frowned upon nonetheless. Then after accidentally hurting Shijie, wwx runs away, and ends up hiding in Gusu pretending to be a servant to lwj (lwj is a prince, lxc is the emperor) but lwj actually knows of his identity and tries not-so-discreetly to protect him from being caught. Thanks!

FOUND! by @bibliobasilisk who gives us Witchfinder by misbehavingvigilante (E, 86k, wangxian)

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13.  Hi! Firstly, I'm glad to see you're back, and I hope your break was a good one! I'm trying to find a LWJ/WWX story that I had planned to read and ending up losing before I could. It was set in the immediate aftermath of the 33 lashes, LWJ is in the Jingshi recovering when a healer(?) discovers he's pregnant (by WWX). It may have been a/b/o verse, but I'm not 100% on that. Part of the story was a flashback to when WWX was still alive. Thank you!

FOUND!  by nonny themself.  It’s Unexpected Surprise by Glucose_Gremlin (E, 4k, wangxian)

SIMILAR! @mondelgel suggests my heart is kept as pure as ice in a jade vase/一片冰心在玉壶 by Daledesu (M, 21k, wangxian, WIP)

SIMILAR! from @impending-cuttlefish:  something new, something white, something blue by ariskamalt (E, 140k, wangxian, WIP)

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14.  I'm trying to find this one fic where Jin Ling finds this diary that Wei Ying wrote as the Yiling Patriarch that basically reveals everything, including the golden core reveal and it even has training tips that helps Jon Ling improve. When Wei Ying comes back, he tries everything to keep him there because he is THE best uncle now. I need to find it because it is a N E E D.

FOUND? by @theladypeartree who says, “The Truth (Untold) is jl reading jyl's journals, not wwx's though. And mordant is jl returning wwx's journals that he found, not grew up with. Neither fit #14 properly, but I seriously could not find anything closer after two solid days of searching. Good luck!“

The Truth (Untold) by anxiouswreck0_0 (g, 3k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian)

or this one on ffn:

mordant by tennisnotensai (M, 18k, wangxian, here’s the link for mobile)

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15.  I have heard tell of a Sizhui/Jingyi fic where the boys end up going to Wangxian for advice about how to be intimate. Can you help me find it?

FOUND!  @manaika-chan says this one is On Advisement by LaMachina17 (M, 19k, wangxian, zhuiling, chengyi)

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16.  nm

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17.  Hi! Sorry, do you happen to know that nsfw fic where wwx is still studying in the cloud recesses and he’s reading a novel (im not sure if it was from nhs) that features a cultivator couple and there’s a scene in the book where the woman was pegging her husband? Basically wwx got curious about this and tried fingering himself. I remember he was hiding in the back mountains and then lwj eventually caught him

FOUND?  Could you be thinking of  Deep in the Woods by malkinmalkout (E, 5k, wangxian, my post)?

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18.  Ahhh I'm going crazy trying to think of a fic that I've read where Lan Zhan killed Wen Chao in a locker room and nie huaisang stood guard outside the door! Then lan zhan went to lan huan and said I killed someone and he said did they deserve it? Then it's fine. And I can't remember the name of the fic! Have you heard of it? ~ @uchihaautumn

FOUND! @artemisisdiana offers So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 54k, wangxian, WIP)

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19.  Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I read it a while ago and I don't really remember all the details but it was a modern au where Lan Wangji was a police officer in this small town and Wei Wuxian comes back after years, having left the town due to some stuff. Thank you in advance.

Btw love your blog. I live for your fic recs.  [Thank you!]

FOUND?  Could you be looking for medium blues by dark_and_terrible (E,193k,  wangxian)?  It appears to be taken down atm, but it might come back (it’s done it before).

FOUND! by @grannyweatherwaxshat who offers When a Bird Flies, It Leaves Feathers by Bem_Kofi (not rated, 75k, wangxian)

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20.  Hi mojo!! First of all I luv your blog Thank you so much for all those ficrecs.  [You’re welcome!]  Actually I’m looking for a fic I read months ago. I probably found the fic from your blog. But I can’t seem to find it now 😢 it was a modern au wangxian fic (inspired by call me by ur name?) wwx was like 5 years older than lwj. (And lwj was like 16?) Wwx lives in another city but he spent around a year in cloud recesses with lwj in the past. And wwx yanli and jc visits cloud recesses again and wangxian gets 2gether

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[My ko-fi.]

[mattiehqs]

philippine stindel & she/her / cis woman‷ watch out, matilda "mattie" laurent has crash-landed into roswell !! they look 25 years old and celebrate their birthday on may 25th . they are from roswell nm, reside in aurora apartments and are currently working as a cashier @ out of this world book store. one thing you should know about them is that she's half french, her father is from france and she can speak french‷

hello guys! its corrie here, i was a member of roswell a little while back but had to leave due to real life. i’m back now though, with two great new characters & i’m super excited to starting writing again. 

soooo...this is matilda but don’t call her that, she hates it!! feel free to call her mattie or tilda (she prefers mattie tbh)

she’s the middle of five kids and the way her parents met was actually super romantic. 

her father is french & back in the day him & his friends were on a roadtrip around america. they ended up in the crashdown diner & he laid eyes on one of the waitresses, that was it. 

that waitress was mattie’s mother and it was basically love at first sight. she ended up qutting her job at the diner & went travelling with him for a little while. 

but the pair both loved roswell and they went back there & started a family. its all very cute and wholesome!!

mattie had a great childhood growing up, she was pretty much allowed to do whatever she wanted & she’s had a lot of freedom.

growing up her father taught her french everday after school & now she can speak it pretty well & she can hold a conversation. if she was living in france, she’d survive & it’d be all good!!

but now as an adult she’s a little bit lost and she doesn’t know what to do with herself. she’s still finding her way around life.

she currently works at the “out of this world bookstore” its a job and she enjoys it, she likes chatting 2 people n getting to know people.

mattie lives @ the aurora apartments with one of her older brothers!! she adores him & the pair are super close.

she used to date the one & only connor “soggy” braxton but thats a whole other thing. mattie is still a little bit upset about that, so we don’t talk about that. 

things didn’t end well for the pair of them and yeah, she’s sad about it. maybe there are some feelings there, who KNOWS??

she is just a wholesome little bean, still figuring her way out in life!! she is always ready 2 do dumb stuff & go out on late night adventures. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS: 

siblings 

friends

fwbs / hook-ups

exes

neighbours 

co-workers

if you’d like to plot with either mattie or aryan then please like this post & i’ll message u or feel free to drop me a message on discord @ corey in the pub ™#0678. thank you pals!! 

[vivid-wisp]

You know how it be suffering from big brainrot being into FNF so I’ve compiled a list of ideas for the characters. This is more so for myself but thought I'd share some of my ideas. Take this as you will, these headcanons are based on educated guesses, actual lore, or just for fun. I also really like explaining my reasoning for some stuff so be ready for that. Long post. :]

Boyfriend / BF

- Is asian specifically Japanese, based on the idea how the dev team like to agree Hatsune Miku is BF’s canon sibling. Can also be asian American.

- Despite his appearance BF is actually somewhat physically strong and capable. If he can’t rap battle someone he’d be down to beat someone up, based on the idea how PA (Phantom Arcade) says he sucks at FromSoftware games and would rather throw down IRL than in video games.

- Him and Pico were exes, but they dated when they were WAY YOUNGER, and this was before when BF or Pico knew how to handle a relationship properly. Pico was the one to call things off. (more on Pico’s section) They may still get kind of flustered around each other.

- For most of his childhood, BF never really felt like he stood out. It leads into the reason why he likes singing since it ironically feels like he's being heard, despite not really liking to talk a lot. He was a very quiet kid back then. He'd always liked singing and rapping, he just wasn't put into a position of intense judgement until meeting GF's father and mother, rockstar and ex-rockstar. Training arc begins.

- BF took courses/majored in music design or sound design in college, but dropped out to spend more time with Girlfriend and practice his musical talent himself seeing as it felt more natural than doing boring classes.

- Despite what people think, BF doesn’t dye his hair. It WAS a different color but a shade, like a lighter blue color when he was younger. (Based on Ninjamuffin/NM's recent AMA answers)

- BF owns a dog, not specific but definitely a large breed of dog that stays at home and is taken care of by his parents. He loves a lot of pets and animals, especially anything blue.

- It’s no surprise BF isn’t the smartest, but this comes from a place of putting on the “bad boy” act and being told he’d never make it anywhere in life so he never tried. BF is really a soft guy who deep down has a good heart and just wants to show his appreciation to the person (GF) who makes him feel okay knowing you don’t have to be the best.

- BF actually CAN speak, but chooses to be selectively mute. More so because he’s not the best when it comes to words, and he’s never felt the need to talk. Don’t expect much because like in Week 6, it’ll likely just be random noises he makes or his signature “beeps!” He still reacts, just with noises. (we ignore the logic of him singing it just sounds like beeps to us the players while everyone in universe perfectly understands) [just saw NM's recent AMA I GODDAMN CALLED IT LET'S GOOOO]

Girlfriend / GF

- GF unsurprisingly, has a very wealthy background and in turn family too. So she’s no stranger to most expensive things. This doesn’t mean she won’t appreciate anything BF gifts her, in fact she’s more than appreciative of anything if it comes from BF her love.

- May or may not be a demon like her parents but she doesn’t want to scare BF, and also has slight appearance anxieties about it so she chooses to hide it by staying in her “human” form. She's self conscious of appearing like a demon, and doesn't want to scare people away just based on her look.

- So yes GF can and will in fact beat you up, a lot more than BF if she really wanted to. Especially if she went into her demon form.

- Also not the brightest, due to her extravagant background she’s been so spoiled to the point where everything is handed to her on a silver plate. Which also means her intelligence. They're both himbo/bimbo dynamic I don’t make the rules sorry.

- Actually really good at singing herself too, she’s a bit more wonky with rapping but she’s still good. Ties into the fact GF is the first to teach you how to rap/sing in the tutorial. If she really wanted to, she would destroy BF in a singing battle.

- Kinda aloof and can be apathetic, but more in the sense of “oh cool" instead of a "not caring" feeling way. Like moving on from something that was most definitely not cool like oh my god does that monster with bloody human teeth have a lemon for a head-

- Absolutely adores the large height difference between her and BF. She loves picking BF up suddenly and swinging him around. It’s cute and funny to her. (BF likes the height difference dynamic too but he'd never admit it)

Pico

- Pico never went to college nor finished, instead he takes up jobs from around the city as a mercenary. He's so skilled to the point it pays well enough he doesn't really need a job. He owns a small apartment.

- He likes spending time when he's not on the job, around BF and GF but this is more so at a distance. He does hang out with them, but don't expect him to show up automatically by their side. Like maybe once a week.

- Despite his original job to kill BF, Pico is very protective of BF and looks out for him albeit distantly. He knows BF can handle himself, but he will risk jumping into a situation if BF needs help. ONLY when he needs help.

- Pico still spends time with Nene and Darnell, but this is more so as an acquaintance thing. They're still friends, but all three of their jobs (as assassin and mercs) make things kind of awkward and distance from one another.

- Pico has a lot of untreated trauma, whether that be PTSD, schizophrenia, OCD, etc, a lot of it is very untreated. While Pico is aware he has some mental health disorders he's not aware of ALL of them. He frankly doesn't care nor does he really feel like dedicating the time to properly help himself, which stems from his upbringing in his childhood, "deal with it" attitude back then. He doesn't think it's a big deal, even though deep down he knows he should seek help. Especially after hanging out with BF and GF who, unsurprisingly, are (relatively) normal in the head unlike his friends Nene and Darnell. His disorders disrupt his everyday life and living routine, he can have a lot of very bad days.

- Pico is a wannabe DJ, he likes to sing and rap but prefers the latter and likes listening to music more rather than doing it itself. When he was a kid he liked BF for his passion for singing and rapping, and admired him in a way.

- BF and Pico went to the same elementary school, and were very much friends. After the events of Pico's School, Pico acted very different than how BF knew him, and somewhere along that path BF and Pico decided to date each other when they were in middle school (at 13-14). This was very much a hasty decision and didn't end well. Pico was the one to break things off due to knowing he couldn't handle the responsibility of another person, especially in a relationship. He had too much on his plate already from the trauma that still haunted him, and also was around the time Pico told BF he would be getting homeschooled instead after many years of decision with Pico's parents. It was best to end things before they'd spiral and get worse.

- While BF was heartbroken, he knew it was for the better even if he was upset for quite a bit. After Pico became homeschooled and left middle school, BF noticeably became more quiet until he'd meet GF near the beginning of high school. Pico and BF tried to keep in contact, but eventually naturally just fell out of touch with each other, both too busy with their own lives now. Pico never really resolved his whole feelings issues, which still show up when he'd meet BF years later again but knows those feelings are best left behind.

- While Pico was very surprised and shocked to see BF again despite being commissioned to kill BF, BF himself was too busy being caught up in seeing an old friend again. Whether that be BF was either too dumb to realize he was being killed or because he was genuinely very happy to see his old friend again, the two had a small reconcile after so many years and decided to rap for old time's sake.

[potatotrash0]

jesus christ this is a long ask dkfbskdnskdb you really went off with this huh /lh /nm

Anonymous said:

Okay so l scrolled far down enough I saw your Assassin! Nagito and I just, May I give you: Assassin! Nagito x Hitman! Hajime

-Nagito's childhood is somewhat like Black Widow's: kidnapped/raised into an orphanage at a young age after his parents died, forced to adapt and train into bloodshed, and grown and warped into being the ultimate assassin. He has the natural charm and face to seduce high profile targets and get the job done

-Hajime went the similar route as the kamukura project, except this happened much younger and it wasn't completely finished (Hajime doesn't gain every talent, but he gets a lot of genetic changes to enhance his strength and abilities and he knows how to fight. He also has the heterochromia) and he was found by the kuuzuryu clan and trained to be the family's personal hitman. He doesn't have the natural charm that Nagito has but he is also attractive and more approachable and easy to talk to, which brings many people's guard down until the moment he kills them

-Nagito being incredibly agile and good with knives while Hajime has more upper body strength and break someone in half with his bare hands. He's also more adapted to using guns. Both of them can use sniper rifles and look damn good in it.

-they both work together fairly often, because the two different organizations they work for both have a tense cooperation cooperation with each other and try to stay out of the other clan's business.

-both of them have this antagonistic, yet weirdly domestic relationship with each other.

-Nagito usually uses "puppy" as a degrading petname for Hajime.

-If Hajime wants to make Nagito shut the fuck up, he'll call Nagito "bun" or "bunny".

-Hajime "resting bitch face" Hinata does not know what "showing genuine emotions and not glaring at people " is. Nagito "pretty little psycho" Komaeda does not know what "showing genuine emotions and not manipulating yourself and others" is.

-neither of them are mentally healthy ahhahshh

-they have tried to kill each other before. They have tons of scars to prove it. Hajime has a thin scar near his jugular when Nagito nearly completely slit his throat and Nagito has a scars on his stomach where Hajime stabbed him.

-both of them are fucked up, and really like each other, but are unable to tell each other how they feel. Nagito with his horrible self esteem thinks Hajime wouldn't love someone like him and Hajime thinks Nagito is with him because he provides some sort of entertainment to the assassin. Still, they don't seem to mind it as long as they can be with each other a little more.

-and because of that, they constantly have each other's backs when things go to shit.

- But because they're also fucked up, (especially Nagito) the person in trouble doesn't mind dying, probably craving death,, and the person saving them doesn't really care about their wishes more than they care about how they want the other person for themselves. It's a little bit selfish.

-talking about wanting each other, they are both high key jealous of any partner or person the other brings alone with them. Hajime will revert to his resting bitch face and go back to being cold is he's jealous and Nagito will become more malicious and passive aggressive.

-i don't really know how else to explain that they are definitely not mentally sane or have a healthy relationship with each other than than saying that they're willing to hurt the themselves, the other, or people close to the others to either teach them a lesson or have them for themselves.

(-Hajime, after injuring Nagito so he can't move and taking care of him until he gets better: I'm doing this for your own good bun

-Nagito, after nearly kiling Hajime again and nursing him from all that blood loss: I'm doing this for you puppy)

-on a fluffier note, it's not all that dysfunctional. Hajime isn't the most smiley person but Nagito can make him giggle like no other and Hajime knows all the ways to make Nagito's eyes light up like a kid.

-they don't mind sharing a bed. They infact, share beds during missions more than they don't. They always end up cuddling. Fuyuhiko thinks their pining is disgusting.

-Nagito has a scar on the back of his neck that resuted from him being branded by his clan, and he's insecure about it. Hajime got drunk once and pressed a gentle kiss on it and said, "this doesn't define you, bun." Nagito was so flustered nearly burst into tears.

-Hajime has tons of scars both from Nagito and from his multiple trainings or punishments. One time, Nagito, while drunk and sleepy, pressed his cheek on Hajime's back, against one of the more deeper and noticeable scars, and went, "ah, to carry so much pain and still hold empathy is why I truly think you're my hope, puppy" Hajime didn't sleep all night thinking about it.

-(and yes, they weren't together when they said that to each other. They're just that in love and in denial about it Imaoo)

-I'm losing the plot of this but yeah...Assassin/Hitman enemies to lovers is my shit

me reading this over: holy shit /pos

hajime. nagito. go to therapy holy fuck that isn’t healthy dkfnskxnsknckdbx like i do fancy myself some Unhealthy Dynamics occasionally bc i choose Violence but i also would love for you two to not be regularly trying to kill each other oh my god. attempted murder of the person you’re in love with is not sexy go get help!!!!!!!!

dkfjskbxskbxksbx /lh, i actually do like this au a lot. the more Fucked aspects scare me but i choose to believe they work through it and properly address it before they get together. for my own peace of mind ;;;;;;

also bc i feel weird about posting this otherwise: do not do as these two do!!!!! do not get together with someone who physically harms you, especially not to this degree!!!! it’s not good, my friends, it will not end well 99% of the time.

[cherrybracelets]

Freefall

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

word count: 15.3k | warnings: smut!!!! alcohol mention, murder mention, rape mention, lots of typical cm violence! 

inspired by: its called freefall by rainbow kitten surprise (i highly recommend listening to this song before or during reading!)

Anyway, you say you’re too busy saving everybody else to save yourself / And you don’t want no help, oh well / That’s the story to tell

ok i have put my blood sweat and tears in this lamfkndksjfj this has been my wip for almost 3 weeks this is my entry for @veraiconcos​ fic challenge!! her prompt fit so perfectly with this fic so i am so excited to share it with you guys. this is by far my most challenging piece and the one i worked the longest on. i really hope you all love it, feedback is much appreciate. i am tagging some moots to signal boost this, i hope u dont mind 

Aaron- 

This woman killed my dad. They said you’d be able to help. Please find her. 

Aaron ran his fingertips over the letter one more time, feeling the depth of the pen, the engravement of each letter into the crisp stationary. He reread the words for a thousandth time, wondering if this time he could discover who actually sent the letter. But unfortunately, just like the past times, there was nothing to indicate who the sender was. The only other thing in the picture was a photograph of a young woman, the person Aaron believed was the murderer. Her face was mostly covered, and he was almost certain the short black bob that sat on her head was a wig. There was nothing about the photo that would help identify her, but on the back of the photo was a date- May 7th 2020, and a city, Sante Fe, NM.

He continued to stare at it, hoping some new information would pop out at him this time. But there was nothing, and he knew if he wanted to find whoever was responsible for this crime, he would need to involve the team. Whoever sent this clearly only wanted Aaron involved, even addressing him personally as Aaron and not Agent Hotchner.. Who could this person be? And who sent him Aaron’s way? 

“You’re here early,” JJ hesitated, walking through the doors of the BAU to begin her day.

“Yeah… I’ve got kind of a… thing?” Aaron stammered over his words, trying to decide how he should go about this. 

“What’s going on, Hotch?” 

“Come take a look at this. It was on my desk yesterday.” Hotch waved JJ over to him, holding the letter tightly in hands. He handed it to her hesitantly, still not feeling comfortable sharing with the rest of the team. It could be a prank, a practical joke, somebody just trying to waste his time. But how did it find it’s way onto his desk? Who would be messing with him like this? 

“Was there an envelope?” JJ asked, staring at the words on the paper. 

“Yes, addressed to me, but no return address. It seems like it was hand delivered.” 

“The handwriting looks like a teenagers, how would he have made it all the way from New Mexico?”

“Maybe somebody else delivered it?”

Aaron and JJ’s attention was quickly taken away when Spencer and Derek walked through the doors, their loud voices cracking through the quiet air of the BAU. They were arguing about something pointless, as they usually did. Aaron felt his head throbbing as the day started to begin, unsure of how much longer he’d be able to make it without some strong coffee. 

“JJ, keep this between us for now. I’ll bring it to Garcia, see if she can find anything worth investigating. I don’t want to bring it to the team unless I’m sure we have a case.” 

“Understood.” JJ smiled kindly at him, a look he was all too familiar with. Ever since Haley died, it felt like everyone was constantly walking on eggshells around him. Everyone felt bad, and they did whatever he asked without complaint. From a boss standpoint, it was nice, not having to argue your decisions to your team. But, they were more than his team. They were his friends, and he felt he lost them the same day he lost Haley. 

Aaron greeted Spencer and Derek quickly, not wanting to get pulled into whatever discussion they were having. He was holding onto the letter tightly, afraid of losing it. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he just had a feeling about it. Like he had stumbled onto something huge, and whatever Garcia could find out would lead them to something unbelievable. 

“Hey, Garcia. Any chance I could have you work on something… private, for now?” Aaron stood in the doorway of her office, all of the bright screens making him wince. His headache was only getting worse as the day went on. 

“Of course, sir. Is everything okay?” She looked worried, for sure hoping that whatever secret task she was performing for him had nothing to do with Haley. Although he knew she would never say anything, he could tell she was worried about him. 

“I need you to check deaths in Santa Fe, NM from May 5th - May 9th. Specifically look for men with teenage sons.”

“Just homicides?” 

“No, any deaths. And see if you find anything suspicious.”

“Alright…” Penelope said, furrowing her brows in confusion. “It might take a bit. Santa Fe’s a big city.”

“Just get back to me when you can, Garcia.” Aaron smiled slightly at the technical analyst, before leaving quietly. His head was begging him for caffeine, or Advil, or a drink, even though it was barely 9 in the morning. 

He walked quietly back to his office, not talking to any of his team, closing the door behind him as he got inside. There was a sick feeling in his stomach, most likely caused by the cigarette he snuck this morning on an empty stomach. He paced uncomfortably, dry swallowing an Advil he found in the back of his desk drawer. He knew it would take Garcia a while

to get his information, but he was feeling exceptionally frustrated and impatient. He started to walk towards the door, feeling the need to to pester his analyst to work quicker, but as he opened it, JJ stood pleasantly in the door. 

“We got a case, boss,” she smiled, waving an envelope in the air. 

“Alright, let’s get to the conference room.” Aaron closed the door to office, following his Agent into the annex. He felt sick as he took his seat, not ready for whatever horror was about to be presented. Some days he felt like giving up, like throwing in the towel. He has given this job everything he had, and what did he get in return? 

+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-+:-+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+:-:+

Aaron and the team left an hour later for their newest destination, solving the case within 3 days. They were headed back to DC on the jet when he got a call from Garcia. It was rare she would call him personally if they were not working a case, so he knew it must’ve been about the letter. He waited a moment before answering, anxious about what her news could be. What if she found nothing, and this was the end of the line? 

“Hello, sir. I wanted to call as soon as I could.” She sounded nervous, a tone of confusion in her voice. 

“What’s going on, Garcia?” 

“Well, it’s about the letter. I found something… interesting.” 

“Do you think we could have a case?”

“It’s a high possibility, sir.” 

“Alright. Can you patch into the computer and share with the team. I’d like to bring them in on this as well.”

“Sounds good, see you in a moment.”

Aaron hung the phone up, walking back to the main part of the jet and back to the rest of the team. They were spread out, all enjoying the calming feeling of a solved case. Spencer and JJ were sleeping, Emily and Derek both with headphones in and Rossi reading a book. He hated to bother them, hated to disturb their peace they all deserved. But that was the job- there was no peace. They all had to endure constant chaos so that innocent people didn’t have to. 

Aaron turned on the lights of the jet, alarming his team and causing several groans of frustration. 

“What’s going on, Hotch?” Emily asked in desperation, her eyes squinting as they adjusted to the light. 

“I’m sorry to bother everyone, but I think we might have a new case.” Aaron looked around the room, slowly watching the faces of his friends change from their relaxed state to the intensity of a profiler. 

“Is this about… the thing from a few days ago?” JJ asked quietly, not wanting to bring it up if it wasn’t the case. 

“The letter, yes.” 

“Hello, my sleepy friends. I am sorry to bother you, but I have stumbled across something interesting that I believe requires your attention. Uh, Hotch… would you like to…” she trailed off, looking around for her superior to explain how they ended up here. 

“I received a letter a few days ago… someone asking us to look into the death of their father. It was anonymous, there was a picture along with it but it still wasn’t enough to do much on my own. So, I handed over what I had to Garcia and…” Aaron trailed off, realizing now he hadn’t even asked Penelope what she got before bringing the rest of the team in. 

“I guess that’s where I come in. So, as per our humble leader, I searched for deaths of men on the given dates with teenage sons, and as I expected, that list was quite large.” 

“Why teenage sons?” Derek asked, still trying to fill in the gaps of information. 

“The letter was clearly written by a young boy, no older than 16 was my guess,” JJ added, explaining her conclusion to the team. 

“Garcia, were you able to narrow down the list?” Aaron asked, desperately wanting to know what she found. 

“Well, I got rid of anyone whose death was expected. People who were sick or in the hospital, with underlying medical conditions, et cetera et cetera. Once we narrowed it down to deaths that were true accidents, I had a list of three.” 

“How do we know this isn’t just a prank?” Rossi asked. It was a fair question, a question he frequently asked himself as well. 

“Ah, well, if it was a prank I wouldn’t have found out what I did…” 

“That looks like the face of someone who’s about to tell me I’m not going home tonight,” Derek laughed, turning to Emily, who rolled her eyes. 

“Unfortunately it does seem like there’s a case here. One of the men that I flagged as ‘Could Be A Murder Victim’ has a… bad past.” One thing that Aaron always admired about Penelope is how she always managed to speak with such lightness, no matter how heavy the content of her words. “42-year old Derek Hood was killed on May 7th, ruled as an accidental drug overdose. There was some chatter that it may have been suicide, but there was no note and the family insisted he wouldn’t have killed himself.” 

“So what makes you think it was murder?” Spencer asked.

“Alright, get this. Our man Jason was on trial two years ago for the rape of three different 16 year old girls. It was declared a mistrial, unfortunately, after all three of the girls refused to testify at his trial.”

“Is it possible he threatened them? This could be a revenge killing, if that was the case,” Emily added. 

“Ah, I thought that too, my friend. But all three of the girls are now in college and far, far away from Sante Fe. So, that was kind of a dead end.”

“What about the parents?” Aaron questioned. 

“We think alike, sir. All three of their families still reside in Santa Fe, and three weeks before Jason’s death, all three couples withdrew $15,000 cash from their banks. One family stated it was for a pool, the other for a car, and the last family stated it was for bathroom renovations.” 

“Were any of those projects completed, Garcia?” 

“To the best of my knowledge, no.” 

“So this is what I think it is, then,” Rossi asked, looking up towards Aaron for confirmation. 

“It’s most likely a hitman, yes.” Aaron looked around at his team, a feeling of worry drowning him. Hitmen were exceptionally dangerous, and so were the routes to get to them. It was an extremely well protected underground business, and the chances of catching one successfully, with no one hurt, were very slim. 

“Wait, but our unsub is a woman. The photo very clearly showed a female, and even in the letter, the boy addresses her as ‘This woman.’” 

“Could we see the picture, Garcia?” Aaron asked, staring at the monitor as he awaited the photo. 

“Maybe they’re dressing as a woman to distract any possible witnesses?” Rossi added. The photo then popped up on the monitor, the same hidden person that was ingrained in Aaron’s brain. He couldn’t forget her, her shielded face, cheap wig, perfect body… 

“That is definitely a woman, guys. You can’t fake that body…” Derek laughed, causing a wave of eye rolls and a slight shove of disgust from Emily. 

“A female hitman… that is exceptionally rare.” 

“Maybe she’s killing for justice? I mean, Jason was a piece of shit. And he somehow got away with his crimes, maybe this is punishment,” Derek added, always the first to try to come up with some sort of explanation. 

“Why would she charge the parents almost fifty grand, though? That clearly makes it about money,” Emily rebutted. 

“Garcia, is there any way we can find out who they gave that money too?” Aaron asked, hoping for a quick and easy answer, but he knew nothing was easy at this job. 

“Since they took it out in cash, there’s no way to trace it, sir.” 

“We’ll need to talk to the parents.” 

“They won’t say anything, you know how that goes,” JJ said. 

“We’ll target one of them, whichever is the most unstable. Promise them immunity. That usually works in situations like this.” Aaron looked at the team, noticing how tired they were. He knew how bad they needed to go home, sleep in their own beds, wash their hair with something other than hotel shampoo. But this was big, he could feel it. And they probably did, as well. It was their life, they were all aware of how crazy this career path could be. But, just because he knew that, it didn't make it any easier on Aaron when he had to push them to their limit.  “We need to turn the plane around to Santa Fe. If this person is local, it’s best that we’re on the scene.” 

“Can we at least stop home so I can get some new clothes?” JJ groaned, looking at the team in desperation for support. 

“Fine. Can we be back in the air in two hours?” 

“We can make that work,” Spencer agreed. 

“Alright. Thanks, guys.” 

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Santa Fe was hot. The kind of hot that made it impossible to breathe, and your clothes felt like they had melted into your skin. Aaron could feel his skin on fire, burning hotter and hotter as he stood under the desert sun. Emily stood next to him, glistening in a thin layer of sweat. The two of them stared closely at a house across the street, taking in every detail. 

“You ready?” Emily asked, her voice cracking through the quiet air like a whip. 

“Uh… yeah,” Aaron stuttered, his brain feeling off. He had a feeling whoever this person was, she wasn’t in Sante Fe. This was a big operation that they had stumbled upon, and he had a bad feeling about the way it would end up. 

Aaron followed Emily to the door, feeling exceptionally guilty as they entered the front yard of a family whose lives had been destroyed- and all they were there to do was destroy them further. He knew they only did what they did to avenge their daughter- and he understood. Sometimes he wondered if he should’ve done the same thing with Foyet.

“Are you alright, Hotch? I don’t mean to overstep, but you don’t seem like yourself,” Emily questioned, stopping in her tracks before they made their presence  known to the family. 

“Just have a bad feeling about this one, I guess,” he responded, rubbing his head with his thumb and forefinger. “Let’s get this over with…” 

“Aye aye, sir.” 

The two of them walked to the front door of the small house, knocking slightly quietly on the white painted wood of the door. An older man opened the door, immediately tensing up as he saw the two of them. They looked like Agents- or at the very least, local detectives, and the man was pretty quick to understand why they were there. 

“Are you Bradley Mathis?” Emily asked, standing a few inches in front of Aaron, clearly trying to take the lead on this. It was probably for the best, since his head was not on right today. In all honesty, his head hadn’t been on right since Foyet. 

“Who are you?” Bradley asked defensively, crossing his arms across his chest and backing away from the door. 

“Mr. Mathis, I want to assure you that if you cooperate with us, there will be no trouble. We understand you did everything to protect your daughter, and we aren’t looking for trouble. We just want to find the person who did this for you.” As Aaron spoke, he realized how scary this must be for him. His daughter was brutally attacked, they found the man that hurt her, and then he threatened her into silence so he could walk free. If it had happened to Aaron’s kid, he would’ve killed the son of a bitch with his own bare hands. 

“You promise me nothing will happen to me?” He asked defensively, his eyes darting nervously across the room.

“I never met her, okay. I swear,” he responded in relief, as if he’d been waiting for the moment he could finally tell somebody. It was exhausting caring around those kinds of secrets. “I got her info from a friend. You go to the website, submit your claim, and she’ll send an assistant out to decide if she’ll take you on as a client. If she decides to help you, you’ll give half the money up front, and half upon proof of… death,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he spoke the words.

“That’s pretty standard practice for what she is…” Emily added. 

“How did you find her website?” Aaron asked, wanting to leave this man in peace as quickly as possible. 

“There’s some… tricks to finding her. Give me one second,” he said, turning around quickly and darting to another room. Emily reached for her gun defensively, but Aaron put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. 

“He won’t run.” 

“How do you know? He has every reason to dart.” 

“I just know. He’ll be back. Trust me.” Aaron looked to his Agent, kindly suggesting but also ordering her to relax. She nodded, crossing her arms as the pair waited for Bradley. As Aaron suspected, he came back a few minutes later with a beat up piece of paper. 

“Someone I know from the support group gave me this. It’s how to contact her.” He handed them a brochure that was in pretty bad shape, but still legible enough to understand where to go. From the outside, it looked like a brochure for a dental surgery. But there were certain words highlighted, most likely by whoever gave Bradley this in the first place. It mapped out clear instructions on how to contact this mystery vigilante. 

“That’s all I know. I swear.” 

“I believe you,” Aaron responded, noticining the calmness flooding over Bradley’s face as Aaron spoke. “You can never tell anybody this, do you understand?” 

Bradley nodded, his mouth glued shut as the reality of the situation finally weighed on him. He noticed the guns holstered to Emily and Aaron’s hips, and quickly shut the door, no goodbye’s needed. 

“If she’s sending people to meet potential clients before she meets them, she isn’t local,” Emily put together, shaking her head in shock as the pair walked back to their car. 

“No, she’s not. Which means we need to get back on the plane ASAP. Send this over to Garcia, I’ll call the team and tell them to meet us back at the jet.” 

“Sounds good.” 

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“Hello, angels. Are you ready for all the answers to your prayers?” Garcia’s voice popped through the stiff air of the jet, breaking through the harsh waters like a ray of sunshine. 

“Were you able to find her, Garcia?” 

“Of course, sir. Our girl is fancy. You need five grand upfront just to meet with her. Her website looks like it was designed for a five star hotel. She is legit.” 

“Can we actually find her, Penelope?” Aaron had raised his voice slightly, frustration starting to set in. He just wanted this to be over, he wanted to bring her in and end this. 

“Yes, yes. Sorry. Our girl goes by the name Ananke.” 

“That’s not very intimidating,” Derek laughed, shaking his head as he sat back in his chair. 

“Well, kind of. Ananke is a greek goddess, specifically known as one of the most powerful deity’s to control fate and circumstance. It’s pretty fitting, giving what she does.” 

“The only way to meet her is to submit an appointment request, which is easier said than done. She has a legit system, requires a birth certificate, social security number, and a license or passport.”

“And five G’s,” JJ added. 

“Can we create fake documents and submit them? Maybe have someone undercover go meet her.” 

“I’ll do it. This has been my case from the beginning, I’d like to end it as well,” Aaron said, assuring his team he would finish this. 

“I can get everything made up and submitted before you land.” 

“Is there any way to figure out where she’s located?” 

“Unfortunately not at the moment. I am still digging though, it’s possible I missed something.” 

“Thanks, Garcia. We’ll see you soon.” 

The team made some more small talk after that, realizing there wasn’t much they could do unless they had a location. Aaron’s head was beginning to throb again, absolute exhaustion overcoming him as he sat down and let himself relax for the first time in days. He missed Jack, he missed the comfort of his own bed, the smell of his cheap laundry detergent. He realized he was digging his nails into his palms, his flesh barely intact as he released his tension. 

The rest of his team had broken up into their own conversations, ignoring the crumbling mess that was Aaron Hotchner. He walked to the bathroom quietly, snooping through the cabinets and finding a small bottle of vodka. He downed it quickly, letting the liquor burn the back of his throat and take his mind off of everything else. Even if it was for a moment, the distraction was welcomed, and almost necessary for him to keep going. 

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It was two full days- almost forty eight hours exactly- when they finally heard back from Ananke. She had agreed to meet with ‘Zachary Wilson’ who was looking for revenge against the drunk driver that killed his wife. And to the whole team’s surprise, it appeared that she was located in DC. Ananke herself said she would meet him, stating that she was ‘in the area’. 

The address she gave them appeared to be a popular nightclub in college town, one that Aaron had unfortunately been dragged to on multiple occasions. The team agreed that Aaron should meet her alone, the team standing outside to come in if necessary. She wanted to meet him on a Friday night, which meant the place would be flooded with innocent civilians. It was safest if they stayed out of it, at first. 

By the time Friday rolled around, Aaron had barely eaten in days. He was staying alive on coffee, tylenol, and mini bottles of vodka he could keep in his pockets. Oh, and the occasional cigarette was a necessity as well. He had waited anxiously for what felt like weeks to meet her. This case had been weighing on him since the moment he received that letter, and he wanted it to be over. He wanted the anxiety and the chaos to be over. But, once they solved this one, there would just be another after, and the cycle of chaos and anxiety begins all over again. 

“I hope you know you can't dress like that,” JJ said, teasing Aaron with a light shove as she walked past him. 

“Why?” 

“It’s… a business suit, Hotch. And you're going to a nightclub. It screams Fed.” 

Aaron looked down at himself, realizing JJ was right. His vibes screamed ‘Cop’, and that was exactly what he did not want. 

“Don’t worry, sir. I have something you can borrow from my go bag,” Derek suggested. 

“Hotch in Derek’s clothes? That’s something I’ll pay good money to see,” Emily laughed, JJ giggling alongside her as Derek rolled his eyes and threw clothes at the two of them. 

“You think these will work?” Derek asked the girls, not bothering with Aaron’s opinion. 

“Oh, it’s perfect. Hotch will love these,” they laughed, neatly folding the clothes and handing them to Aaron. He walked away in silence, heading towards his office so he could change. The clothes weren’t a perfect fit, but they were better than his suit. The shirt was way too tight, with a v-neck that was way too deep. His arms felt like they would rip right through the cheap cotton, and his ass felt like it was going to bust straight out of the denim. 

He began to walk out of the office quietly, hoping that the rest of the team wouldn’t be waiting for his fashion show. But as he figured, they were standing by patiently for him to show off in Derek’s way too tight clothes. As soon as he opened the door, a riot of laughs and cat calls surrounded him. He felt himself blushing, which was something he hadn’t done in a long time. 

“Damn, Hotch. Where have you been hiding those arms?” Derek laughed, his voice echoing through Aarons head. 

“I think we need to start casual Friday,” Spencer added, staring in awe at his boss. 

“Alright, enough guys. This is a serious case, and I need everyone to be on their best behavior.” 

“I’m not sure I can act right with you walking around like that,” Rossi joked, causing the rest of the team to burst out with laughter. Aaron just rolled his eyes, secretly appreciating the light that they all brought to his life. 

“Alright, you guys ready to go?” 

“All set. Let’s go catch a killer, sir.” 

The ride to the club was a bit of a hike, a little over thirty minutes by the time they parked. They were split in two cars, seperated to cover both entrances. The plan was for him to go in and assess the situation, hoping he can get her out without harming any bystanders. If he needed backup, he had an alarm he could trigger that would alert the rest of the team to come in. It was a simple plan, one they had executed a thousand times in the past. But despite that, he felt extremely anxious. 

“Are you ready, Aaron?” Rossi asked, raising his eyebrows in concern. 

“Yeah, let’s get this over with. Stay alert, guys.” Aaron walked out of the car and to the entrance of the club, staring directly at the large bouncer standing in front of the door. He was given very specific instructions on what to see when he approached the man, ones that would deliver him directly to Ananke and avoid having to deal with the actual club. 

“You on the list?” The bouncer asked as Aaron approached, not even bothering to look up from his clipboard. 

“I’m here to see… A,” he whispered, looking around frantically to see if anyone else heard. 

“You got your ID and confirmation number?” He asked, setting his clipboard down and staring intensely at Aaron. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s 73491. And here’s my drivers license,” he responded, handing him the forged Virginia license of one Zachary Wilson. 

“Zachary Wilson…” the man whispered, making Aaron sick to his stomach as he awaited the man to deny him and send him away, ruining his chances of finding her forever. “You’re gonna go in this door, right here,” he said, pointing towards a hidden and seemingly locked door to his right. “Take the stairs all the way up, knock on the door twice. She’ll be right with you.” 

“Thank you,” he responded, relieved as he began to walk past the guard and towards his end goal. 

“Oh, and Zachary,” the man added, causing Aaron to turn around in confusion. 

“Remember: lei è dalla nostra parte,” he said, a smile creeping on his face as he spoke. Aaron recognized the language as Italian, but he couldn’t translate what he was saying. The bouncer turned around before Aaron had the chance to ask what he meant, but he figured it would just be better to move on and go directly to her. 

He slowly opened the door, unsure of what he would find on the other side. To his surprise, it was only an exceptionally narrow staircase in a small hallway, leading directly to another gray door. The sound of fluorescent lights buzzed in the air, making Aaron dizzy as he walked up the steep steps. He remembered what the man said- knock twice. He also remembered the phrase in Italian, lei è dalla nostra parte. And when he finally got to the door, he began to unravel the words in his head. He knocked twice, replaying the words over and over. And when he finally heard the door click open, he understood what the man had meant. She is on our side. 

“Zachary?” A man asked, opening the door slightly, only enough to peak out at him. 

“Yes. I’m here to see-” 

“Ananke. Of course,” he interrupted, swinging the door open and revealing an exceptionally beautiful and ornate room. Aaron walked in slowly, in a daze, his eyes not sure where to look as every piece of the room exceptionally thought out. There was a beautiful chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the light reflecting rainbows from the crystals. 

“She will be with you shortly. Feel free to have a seat somewhere. Can I get you anything to drink?” 

Aaron felt like he was at a hotel, the service impeccable as he sat down on the incredibly comfortable and probably very expensive couch. Most hit men he had met with did not present themselves like this. Whoever she was, she had a lot of money. In that moment, he wondered how many lives she had taken- how many people finally got what they deserved. And for a brief and frightening moment, he wondered if she was doing things right? 

His thoughts were interrupted when she walked out. Not only did he lose his train of thought, but his breath was literally ripped from his chest. She was no longer covering her face, or wearing a wig. She had finally revealed herself to him, and he was in awe. She was absolutely stunning- beautiful to a level that made his head spin and his heart cramp up. He stood up instinctively, feeling the need to stand and greet her face to face. As she walked closer, he felt his throat getting tighter and tighter. 

“Hello,” she spoke, her words floating through the air like a flower in the spring wind. “I’m Ananke.” 

“Mhmm, he,” he stuttered, sticking his hand out to shake hers. “I’m…” he choked, unable to get his words out. 

“Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, right?” She smiled, and Aaron instinctively reached for his gun. 

“Put your weapon away, Aaron. I’m no threat to you,” she instructed, and he complied. For some reason, he believed her. She had no intention of hurting him or anyone else in this building. He didn’t need his weapon. 

“How do you know who I am?” 

“The FBI has a list of Social Security numbers they regularly use for fake documents. It’s… a hard list to get your hands on. I’m lucky I have friends in high places.” 

“So you knew who I was from the minute I submitted my application?” He was shocked, a sick feeling washing over him. Who was she? How was she consistently one step ahead of them? 

“I’m sorry to break your sense of superiority, agent. It hurts when someone is smarter than you, doesn't it?” She tilted her head at him, a devilish grin pasted across her face. He wanted to hate her, he wanted to be angry, but all he could focus on was the fire burning inside of him and the hunger building itself, the craving overcoming her. Her skirt revealed a little too much of her thigh and her shirt was a little too low cut and the thought of her flesh on his rippled its way through his body. 

“Well, we found you and I’m going to arrest you, so it doesn’t seem like you came out on top here,” he responded, avoiding eye contact as he tried to get his impure thoughts out of his head. 

“Agent Hotchner, something you will quickly learn is that I only come on top.” She winked at him, pursuing her lips slightly and smiling. She held her wrists out to him, walking towards him until she was only inches away. “Are you going to arrest me, Agent?” 

Aaron reached for the cuffs in his back pocket, pulling them out slowly and staring directly at her. She didn't take his eyes off of him, standing tall as he began to cuff her. Her hands were soft, almost comical as they brushed against his rough and untouched skin. He didn’t speak, and neither did she. He just closed the cuffs on her, her large eyes staring up at him like a doe. He felt dizzy again, the intoxicating smell of her perfume, the subtle hints of berries and vanilla surrounding him in a whirlwind. 

He slowly grabbed his phone from his pocket, trying to dial Rossi’s number, feeling drunk as he pressed the button. What was wrong with him? And what was wrong with her? Why would she willingly let herself get arrested so easily? That was the problem. This was exceptionally easy. Nothing was ever this easy. 

“Hey, Rossi. I got her. We’re coming down now.” 

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Aaron wasn’t surprised that she remained silent the entire car ride back to Quantico. What he was surprised by is that she didn’t appear nervous or angry. She sat calmly, staring out the window, her body relaxed and her lips forming the slightest smile. It made him angry- he didn’t understand her nonchalance. 

They tried to talk to her, ask her for her real name, about her crimes- but she would just look at them, tilting her head and smiling before bringing her gaze back outside. When they finally arrived back at the Bureau, she turned towards Aaron and Rossi, slowly speaking her first words in over thirty minutes. 

“Am I allowed a phone call?” She asked, staring directly at Aaron, as if it was only the two of them in the car. For a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the entire world. 

“Who exactly would you like to call?” Rossi smirked, rolling his eyes, trying to get Aaron to look at him. But he couldn’t take his eyes away from her. He was drawn to her like a sailor at sea, listening to the sweet song of the siren. He understood, now, why the sailors always swam to their death. It was because it was so damn beautiful. 

“I’d like to speak with the Director,” she insisted, her eyes finally releasing Aaron from his hypnosis as she looked in disgust at Rossi. He could sense the shift in her tone as she looked at the agent- she had built up a terrifying exterior that she had on display for most people. But when she looked at Aaron, the wall somehow didn’t exist. Why would she show her true self to a stranger? What was it about him that she was drawn too? Could she sense his pain? Did she know that he understood why she did what she did? That he, too, had felt the rush of ending evil with his own two hands? 

“The Director? Of the FBI?” Rossi asked, shocked at her absurd request. “What exactly would you like to speak to him about?” 

“I just think he’d be interested to know I’m here,” she spoke, calmly, sitting back in the seat of the car and looking out the window again. 

“This girl is nuts…” Rossi whispered to Aaron before getting out of the car and grabbing ‘Ananke’ from the back seat. Aaron followed closely behind, his eyes locked on Rossi’s tight grip around her flesh. He could see the marks his agent was leaving behind, his fingertips dug into her arm. It made him sick. The thought of anyone harming her made him sick. But she was the bad guy- he was supposed to hate her, to send her away and avenge all of the lives she took. Why did he want to save her so bad? Grab her from Rossi, hop in the car and take her away from all of this. It didn’t make sense, the way he felt. And Aaron hated it- he hated feeling out of control of his own thoughts- his own desires. 

As they brought her into the BAU, the rest of the team following behind, he immediately noticed something was off when he walked through the doors. The rest of the team must have noticed as well, because they all kind of stopped in their tracks as they walked in. 

Derek noticed her first, pacing back and forth in Aaron’s office. 

“Strauss,” he groaned, rolling his eyes at the sight of her. 

“What is she doing here?” JJ asked, crossing her arms and tensing up. 

“I’m not sure. I’ll go find out. Rossi, can you bring her into the interrogation room? Spencer, try and get something out of her,” Aaron instructed his team, watching them seperate and do their assigned tasks as he walked up to his office. When he got closer, he noticed the Director was also there as well. He got a sick feeling in his stomach, remembering his immediate thoughts when he first arrested Ananke. It’s never this easy. 

He opened his office door with shaking hands, immediately slapped in the face with tension clinging to the air. The Director stood up as he entered, and Strauss stopped pacing. 

“Aaron,” she whispered, her eyes darting nervously around the room. 

“Erin,” he smirked, not sure why his brain was choosing this moment to crack jokes. 

“It’s good to see you, Agent Hotchner. It’s been a while,” the Director said. 

“Chris. It’s good to see you as well. Can I ask what you’re doing in my office?” 

The two of them looked nervously at each other, as if deciding who had to tell him the unspoken secret. The first thought in his brain was that Foyet was back. He killed him, though. He remembered the life draining out of him. He couldn’t be back. He felt his body get hot, his breathing picking up as he remembered Foyet’s face… 

“Aaron… unfortunately, we’re going to need you to let (Y/N) go.” 

“Who?” He asked bluntly, confused at the name he was sure he had never heard before. Although his brain was still spinning, he was feeling calmer knowing whatever this was, it wasn’t about Foyet. 

“Ananke. You need to release her,” Strauss clarified, her voice equally annoyed and apologetic. 

“I’m sorry… I’m confused.” Aaron was realizing now how much easier it was to hate Ananke - or (Y/N) - when she wasn't right in front of him. He couldn’t see her, she couldn’t lure him in. Her spell had broken. “I know for a fact she killed at least one person. I’m not releasing her.” 

“Aaron, this goes beyond you. She is no longer a person of interest.” Chris had raised his voice, clearly frustrated at whatever was happening. 

“You can’t just take away my unsub and not tell me why. Do you think my team will be okay with that? Do you think I’ll be okay with that?” Aaron was angry, the thought of them taking her away with no reason making him crazy. 

“Agent Hotchner, there are some secrets within the Bureau that even you don’t know about.” 

“I don’t accept that.” 

Chris and Strauss looked defeated, both accepting that they won’t win this battle. Chris shook his head slightly and closed his eyes, contemplating his words. 

“What is going on, Strauss?” Aaron begged, the room beginning to spin again, his body craving the sweet release of nicotine and the bitter taste of vodka. 

“Your unsubs real name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She is a government protected assassin.” 

“What?” Aaron’s head was spinning, the room around him dancing in circles as the words floated through his mind. That couldn’t be real. There was no way the place he worked, that he believed upheld justice, would do something so… unjust. So immoral. They had to be lying. “It’s not possible. We met the man that paid her to kill someone. She was paid by a civilian to kill a civilian.” 

“She sometimes takes on… side projects,” Chris muttered, clearly knowing his words would upset Aaron. 

“And you allow that?” He yelled, his body fuming with anger as he paced around his office. It didn't make sense. Everything he had ever believed in was crumbling right before his eyes- all because of her. 

“With the things she has done for us, Aaron, there is a little bit of lenience. Besides, Jason was a bad person, anyways.” 

“That doesn’t make it okay. We have a justice system in place for a reason.” He felt sick, the realization that a system he protected for so long was seeping with corruption. 

“Did Foyet get his chance for trial? Or did the justice system not count for him?” Strauss looked at him sternly, frustration written on her face. Aaron realized she was right. He took justice into his own hands with Foyet, and he didn’t regret it. How was she doing anything different? For a moment, nothing made sense to Aaron. His entire belief system had shattered right in front of him. He was speechless, his brain splashing around trying to find the right words to express his disbelief. But he was coming up empty, drawing blanks. There was truly nothing he could say that could capture how he felt. He just thought of her, the sweet smell of berries that lingered in her hair, the softness of her skin, the enticing aura that surrounded her when she looked at him. 

“What am I supposed to tell my team?” He thought out loud. 

“We’ll handle it. Let’s go out and talk to them now,” Chris instructed, walking out of the office and down towards the annex. Rossi noticed the three of them and quickly walked up to Chris, greeting him. 

“Could you gather your team for me?” The director asked, Aaron still unsure of how he would explain this to them. Rossi grabbed everyone pretty quickly, dragging Spencer from the interrogation room, which Aaron could only imagine was going very poorly. 

“Hello everyone, I’m sorry to bother you all, but the unsub you brought in today is a person of interest in several international crimes. She’s been on our watch list for a while, now, and we’re going to have to hand her over to interpol.” The Directors words were quick and precise, leaving no room for anyone to second guess him. Even Aaron was convinced they weren’t going to release her the minute they were alone. 

“What has she done?” JJ questioned, intrigued at the mystery international criminal they brought in. 

“It’s classified, Agent. And if you don’t mind, we’d like to get out of here rather quickly. If someone could grab her, please,” he ordered, causing Spencer to quickly walk to the room she was in and bring her back out to them. 

She was smirking widely as she walked out, clearly knowing her freedom was inevitable. He had so many questions for her, so much he needed to know, but he had to keep his mouth shut. She was slipping right through his fingers, and he had only just begun to know her. 

“I’m so sorry, Aaron. I know how much you enjoyed seeing me in handcuffs,” she whispered to him as she passed by, winking seductively before being taken away by the Director and Strauss. 

Aaron felt miserable as she walked away, the three of them heading into the elevator and away from him forever. She now felt only like a ghost, a distant memory fading away as more time went by without her. The team moved on from the loss in a matter of minutes, but Aaron stood there, frozen in place, waiting desperately for her to come back. 

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Five days. He was able to wait five days before he went to see her. He tried so desperately to forget about her- it seemed everyone else had. But she seeped into his dreams, tossing and turning as he tried to sleep, her voice, her face, her body, calling to him. He needed to see her again, just to ask her why. He wouldn’t sleep ever again if he didn’t. 

So, five days after she walked away, he waited until Jack was asleep, explained to Jessica that he had some paperwork to take care of, and headed to see her. His brain continuously tried to tell him it was a bad idea. He should turn around, go home, and forget her. But he knew it was easier said than done. This was the only way. 

When he got to the club, he noticed the same bouncer from before was sitting outside the door. Aaron felt a bit relieved, hoping the man would recognize him and he could lie his way up to (Y/N)’ door. 

“Hey, man,” he said casually, trying to sound as calm and not suspicious as possible. 

“Can I help you?” The man grunted, clearly not amused by Aaron’s attempt to be friendly. 

“I’m here to see A. We met a few days ago, I need to drop my money off,” he whispered, praying to whatever God was listening that this guy would believe his story. 

“A isn’t supposed to be meeting anyone tonight,” he groaned, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Aaron could tell it was a long shot, but he had to do whatever he could to see her. 

“Call her. She’ll tell you,” he stuttered, looking anxiously at the large man standing between him and (Y/N). It was possible he could take him down if he had to, Aaron thought. It would be a hell of a fight, but he’d brought down bigger men. He shifted instinctively, trying to casually feel his hip and make sure he was still armed. 

The man pulled out a small phone that appeared to be very old- most likely a burner they used to communicate. He dialed a number quickly and stared at Aaron, as if hoping his boss would give him the go ahead to kick Aaron’s ass. 

“Hey, it’s me. Some guy is here to see you. Said you talked earlier today. Can you check the cams,” he asked, trying to speak quietly, but Aaron was still able to hear every word. He waited patiently for her response, trying to keep his face calm. 

“Alright, thanks A.” He hung the call up and placed the phone in his pocket, taking as long as possible to give Aaron his answer. It felt like hours, excruciating pain as he waited for his fate. 

“You’re clear to go.”

Aaron was almost positive she would send him away. If she had cameras, she knew it was him. Why would she allow him to come up? Did she want to see him, too? 

He knew if he stood there any longer contemplating the situation, he would look suspicious. So despite all of his common sense warning him that something was wrong, he walked through the secret door and up the narrow staircase, knocking twice at her door and awaiting to enter her world. 

He was greeted by the same man from earlier, who was smiling brightly as he opened the door and let him in. He offered him another drink, which Aaron politely declined, finding a seat on one of the couches and unable to sit still as he waited for her. 

She left him waiting for quite a while. Although it felt like hours of agony for Aaron, his watch assured him he had only been waiting around twenty minutes by the time she finally greeted him. She was wearing a short red dress, golden heels wrapped around her feet as she floated towards him, smiling devilishly as she poured herself a drink. 

“It’s nice to see you again, Agent,” she teased, taking a sip of her liquor of choice and taking a seat across from him. 

“I needed to talk to you.” 

“About what?” She tilted her head, soft lips creating a pout of confusion as she stared at him. 

“You knew I was going to arrest you the minute you got my application to meet… if you knew you couldn’t get in trouble, why would you let all of that happen? You could’ve called the Director the minute you knew who I was. Why didn’t you?” Aaron needed to know why she went through the trouble of setting up a meeting with him, allowing herself to be arrested and brought to the Bureau. It didn’t make sense, allowing herself to take such a big risk.

“It seemed… fun. Sometimes my life can be quite boring.” She smiled at him, her flirtatious grin that she seemed to save just for Aaron. 

“Wasting my time, my team's time… that's fun to you?” Aaron was getting angry again, his body fuming as he looked at her. 

“Well, maybe a part of me wanted to meet you. I mean, we’re not so different, Aaron.” 

“Hah,” he laughed, rolling his eyes at her. “You think you and I have anything in common?” 

“Oh, are you not the same SSA Aaron Hotchner who killed George Foyet with his own hands?” 

“How the hell do you know that?” Aaron had stood up at this point, his anger and frustration causing his body to become restless. 

“It’s on your record, Agent. It’s not too hard to find…” She took another sip of her drink, finishing the last of the cups content and standing up to face him. For a moment, they were inches apart, the air between them stock full of tension, anger and attraction swimming around the two. But as he prayed he could control his compulsion to touch her, she walked away, over to another corner of the room, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it. 

The smell of smoke intoxicated him, making his knees shake as he craved the burn of nicotine in his throat. She floated back towards him, taking her place back on the couch and burning quickly through her cigarette. 

“You seem so angry, Aaron.” 

“Because you’re killing people, and somehow the people I look up to to maintain law and order don’t care.” 

“Have you ever thought that you’re more angry at yourself than at me? I mean, a part of you gets it, right? You understand what I do, why I do it… and that makes you sick, doesn’t it?” 

“I would never justify what you do.” 

“Mm,” she hummed, standing up and walking towards him again. She placed a soft hand on his face, Aaron realizing her touch was the first he’d felt since Haley died. The feel of his flesh being caressed by someone, being held by someone- it made him melt. 

“Maybe it’s not that, though. Maybe you really do hate me, hate what I do. But a part of you can’t stop thinking about touching me, feeling me… fucking me.” She moved her hand down his body, trailing her fingers down his chest and stopping at the base of his groin. He felt chills down his body, blood rushing to his cock at the slightest touch. 

“That’s not- it’s not that,” he stuttered, trying to back away, knowing how dangerous it would be for him to get roped into something like this. 

“Right, of course,” she whispered, taking her hand away from him and turning around, walking away. He watched her body as she floated across the room, his eyes glued to her ass that was begging to be touched by him. 

“(Y/N)...” Aaron whispered, calling for her, unable to stand the feeling of her being away from him. She turned towards him, walking back slowly, taking her time and letting him simmer in anticipation as she made her way back to the center of the room. When she made her way back to him, he grabbed her chin with his hand, tilting her face up towards him, her lips inches from his. 

“I would never want somebody like you. You are a bad person, no matter what you try to say to me.” 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Agent,” she smirked, her lips almost brushing against his as she formed them into a smile. 

At that moment, it felt like any self control Aaron had flew directly out the window. He wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her body into his and kissing her. It was a kiss that was draped in desperation, anger, lust. His tongue made no attempt to be gentle, selfishly exploring her small mouth and he picked her up and sat her on a table. He tore his shirt off, his desire to be touched, to touch her, overcoming any restraint he had before. 

He picked her up, her small frame easy for his trained body to carry swifty to the couch. He threw her down on her back, her body writhing under his, moaning his name so loud that he was sure the club goers downstairs could hear. He wrapped his hands around her neck, gripping gently, listening to her gasp for air as he slid up her dress to reveal nothing underneath. 

“You’re just begging for me, aren’t you,” he teased, pulling his hard cock out from his boxers and teasing her entrance with his tip. She nodded slowly at him, unable to speak as he still had his hand gripped around her throat. He was aching to hear her voice again, so he released his hand, getting turned on at the mark he left on her. 

He slipped into her slowly, no time to waste on foreplay. He knew he needed her now, that their time was limited and it was only a matter of time before his common sense kicked in and he got out of there. But for the moment, he was sloppily pounding into her, not caring who saw or heard, desperately needing to be as close to her as possible. 

He came quickly, the euphoria of feeling another woman for the first time in months too much for him to control. She came too, though. He could tell she wasn’t faking- he could feel it. After they finished, he quickly put his clothes back on, (Y/N) continuing to lay breathlessly on the couch. He watched her for a moment, waiting for her to say something- ask him to stay, kiss him goodbye. But she just pulled herself up and walked towards the other side of the room, grabbing and lighting another cigarette.

“You should go.” (Y/N) instructed, not even bothering to look up at the man who just came inside her moments ago. 

“You shouldn’t smoke those, you know. They’ll kill you.” Aaron’s mouth was dry, watching the trail of smoke that followed her as she floated around the room, refusing to give him even a second of her time. 

“What do I have to live for?” She asked, finally dragging her tired eyes to his and smiling, one of the first real, and saddest, smiles he had seen from her. 

Aaron tried to think of something else to say, racking his brain for the correct words to say. But he continuously came up empty, and he realized he was starting to look more and more suspicious the longer he stood there. He decided to walk away, ignore the part of him that refused to tear away from her. 

He walked soberly down the stairs, out onto the street and to his car. As he sat in his drivers seat and started the engine, feeling his face get hot, the rare feeling of wet eyes as he began to cry. And then he started to laugh. An uncontrollable cackle that spilled out of him like a waterfall. It was comical, to look back over the past few months and relive all of the bullshit he had been through. He didn’t even recognize the person in the mirror anymore. And maybe that was a good thing, because the person he used to be was the same person that let Haley die. 

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Aaron tried to pretend he didn’t spend every day over the next week thinking about her. The way her soft skin felt when he touched her, the way her lips tasted like bubblegum and her hair smelled like cherries. When he imagined her in his head, everything felt so distant, like he was barely holding on to a dream of her. He could feel her memory slipping away every second, and he couldn’t let that happen. 

He had to see her again, and soon. He wondered if she was thinking about him as well, if she remembered the mint chapstick he was wearing, or the Dolce cologne he was wearing. It made him sick, thinking that she forgot him. (Y/N) had slowly become everything to him, what if he was just a passing thought for her? 

The team had landed back in DC an hour ago, solving a case in Miami that was one of the easier ones they had had this year. Aaron was grateful for the slight break, his brain not completely in the right headspace. 

He rushed to finish up the closing paperwork, scribbling his words sloppily and without much care for grammar. He knew as soon as Strauss read his, she would call him and question his mental state. But he didn’t care. He just needed to get the hell out of here tonight, and if that meant sitting through another of Strauss’s evaluations, it was worth it. 

As he was signing the last of the documents, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He grabbed it with caution, not sure who would be calling him this late at night. The call was coming from an unknown number, and Aaron immediately worried something had happened to Jack. He was away at his grandparents this week, planning on staying a few more days. He answered the phone nervously, preparing for whatever horror was to come. 

“Hello, Agent,” a female voice said, a voice he instantly recognized as (Y/N)’s. Her voice flowed smoothly like silk even over the phone. It was truly hard to believe how she had managed to perfect every aspect of herself. 

“Why- how are you calling me?” He looked around cautiously, making sure no one could secretly hear any part of the phone call. 

“I’m flying to Paris this weekend, a little well deserved vacation. I was calling to see if you’d like to join me.” 

“I… Paris? I can’t just fly to Paris.” Aaron chuckled into the phone, the idea of someone just getting up and deciding to fly halfway across the world with no plan truly comical to him. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize I’d called the Fun Police. I thought this was Aaron Hotchner,” she teased. He could feel her smiling through the phone, a warmth that somehow seemed to wrap him even though he could only see her in his thoughts. 

“I can have fun…” he argued, biting his lip awkwardly, not wanting to seem inferior to her. 

“When was the last time you did something for yourself, Agent? Have you ever just… been spontaneous?” 

“(Y/N), you don’t understand-” 

“Call me A on the phone. It’s safer,” she instructed, her voice losing its soft luster as her professional side kicked in. 

“A… my job, my life… it doesn't leave room for spontaneity.” 

“No, Agent. That’s your choice. I’ll be at the jet runway at Dulles in two hours. Think about it. I’ll wait for you.” She hung the phone up, not giving him room to protest. He set the phone down on his desk, instantly missing her even more than he did before. Jack was going to be with his grandparents for three more days, and he did have some saved up vacation time. But what would he tell the team? What would he tell Strauss? 

His phone vibrated again, this time only a single buzz to indicate a text message. He flipped his phone over and saw a new message from an Unknown number. 

Life doesn’t have to be so complicated, Agent. It is much too short to spend this much time suffering. Learn to enjoy your days. 

A

He reread the message a thousand times, knowing the words would still reign true no matter how much he tried to convince himself she was in the wrong. He had spent his whole life serving others, and he was okay with it, until now. Maybe if he had lived without complication, and enjoyed his days, his life would be completely different… 

He ran home and quickly packed a bag, letting Strauss and Rossi know he needed some ‘alone time’ for a few days. They didn’t question it- one nice thing about having a recent trauma, he thought. He took an Uber to the airport, praying that (Y/N) kept her promise and waited for him. 

When he finally arrived on the runway, he noticed her immediately. It was as if even being near her set an alarm off inside of him, like every part of his brain was awake, feeling her energy from a hundred feet away. 

He thanked the Uber driver and ran to her, bag in hand. As he got to her, he noticed her face. She wasn’t surprised or shocked in the slightest- she knew he’d come. She somehow knew every move he would make. Was he that predictable… or was it something special between them?

“I have to be home in three days,” he said, breathlessly, overjoyed at the sight of his girl. 

“We can do a lot in three days,” she responded, smiling wickedly. She walked towards him, wrapping her arms around his torso and embracing him. It was such a nice feeling to be held, comforted. He felt like he could stay there in her arms for years. But she broke the hug pretty quickly, motioning for one of her men to take care of the bags and began walking towards the jet. 

As he followed her up the stairs and into their own private world, he started to remember everything he was leaving behind. The realization of just how impulsive this was dawned on him as he looked back at the city behind him. He felt dizzy, leaning on the railing for support as he shakily walked up. 

“You alright?” (Y/N) asked, placing a hand on his arm to steady him. 

“This is crazy, (Y/N). I just can’t believe I’m doing this.” 

They continued to walk into the jet, her hand intertwined in his as they sat down and the door closed behind them. A man came out from behind the curtain, who Aaron immediately recognized as the same man who greeted him both times he met her. 

“Aaron, this is my… well, assistant, I guess. Jay, this is my new friend, Aaron.” She waved to Jay slightly, instructing him to come closer. 

“It’s good to meet you sir. Can I get the two of you anything to drink?” Jay was a short boy, couldn't have been more than 25. He clearly worshipped the ground she walked on, which seemed to be par for the course with men she knew. 

“Oh, hmm,” she thought, closing her eyes for a moment as she racked her brain for a decision. “Whiskey sour. What would you like?” She turned towards Aaron, the subtle tilt of her head reminding him of how pretty her neck looked with his hands around it. 

“I’ll do a Scotch, neat,” he ordered, something so enticing about ordering a drink on a private jet to Paris. 

“I’ll grab those for you now. Matt is ready to take off, A, are you all set?” Jay turned back towards his boss, his eyes widening like a puppy as he waited for her words. 

“I’m ready to go Jay, thank you,” she smiled, looking at him quickly before bringing her attention back to Aaron. Jay took her disinterest as a sign to leave and make their drinks, so he shuffled away quickly after she looked away. 

He came back with their drinks a moment later, leaving quickly after and closing himself in the cockpit. The jet began to take off shortly after, and Aaron took a long sip of his drink, hoping the alcohol would calm any nerves he had left. He started at (Y/N) dreamily, as she shuffled through her phone and a pile on various paperwork on her lap. 

“Sorry, Agent, just finishing up some work,” she whispered, her eyes still staring down. 

“Mmm, it’s okay,” he responded, just happy to be in the same place as her again. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure,” she smiled, setting her work aside and bringing her attention to Aaron. 

“Why did you kick me out the other night? After…” His voice trailed off, shifting awkwardly in his seat. 

“I figured it be best for you. I didn’t want to wrap you up with my life… with me. But in all honesty, I can’t stop thinking about you. I called you tonight, and told myself if you didn’t show, I’d move on. But… you’re here.” 

“I’m here,” he whispered back, his eyes tracing down her body, craving her once again. 

“I feel like we have something special, Agent,” she whispered seductively, climbing out of her seat and walking towards him. 

“I missed you… I couldn’t stop thinking about you…” he moaned as she bent towards him, her lips kissing down his neck and playing with the collar of his shirt. She unbuttoned the top buttons, kissing his chest and moving her hand to his inner thigh. She trailed her fingers up his thigh, teasing his cock with the slightest touch. His hips bucked uncontrollably, blood flowing down to him as his desire took over his body. 

She got down on her knees, toying with his belt buckle. She was clearly trying to make him wait, the suffering and craving all a part of her game. But he was impatient, so he ripped his belt off himself, undoing his pants and pulling his erect penis out. 

(Y/N) licked her lips in anticipation, wanting to pleasure him as much as he wanted to be pleasured. She played with his tip slowly, toying her tongue around him as he moved underneath her. He wrapped his fingers in her hair, slowly pushing her mouth down around him. He wanted her to take all of him, to feel the back of her throat as he shoved his length in her mouth. She moaned quietly as she took him, bobbing her head up and down quickly and sloppily. 

Aaron couldn’t remember the last time he got a blow job- let alone the last time someone enjoyed giving him one. (Y/N) was toying with him, clearly enjoying the pleasure she was able to give him just with her tongue. She looked up at him as he was about to cum, winking as she dragged her tongue up his shaft. The eye contact sent him over the edge, causing him to release himself in her mouth. She swallowed his cum happily, kissing him on the cheek and sitting back down on her chair. 

He wanted to go to her, give her what she needed now. But he was exhausted, the exhilaration of her taking away all of his energy. He took another hefty sip of his drink, leaning back in his chair and wiping the sweat off his forehead. He buckled his pants back up and readjusted himself in the seat. 

“Don’t hate me, handsome, but I do have to get some work done. Feel free to sleep on the couch, or watch a movie. I’ll let you know when we get there.” She blew him a kiss, teasing him with a wink before losing herself in her work. He wondered what part of her job she could possibly be doing from the seat of a plane. There was truly so much he didn’t know about her, which made it so much more exciting. 

He finished his drink, watching her work in awe as the plane soared over the Atlantic. He felt himself drifting off and didn’t try to stop it, wanting to be fully rested so he could make the most of his time with her. 

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Paris was unarguably Aaron’s favorite place on Earth. Whenever he told people that, they always kind of chuckled. It was kind of a feminine city, at least that’s what everyone told him. But god, he loved it here. The food, the architecture, the people… but most importantly, it was her. 

She had made every second of his life magical. When they landed, she brought him to a small bakery near the Louvre, where they sipped wine and ate the sweetest fruit he’d ever tasted. It was only 10 AM when they got there, but nobody seemed to pay them any attention as they drunkenly strolled down the Parisian streets, giggling and kissing and living. 

When they finally sobered up, they made their way to a gorgeous hotel, where (Y/N) got the nicest suite available. They ordered a few bottles of champagne, popping them open as soon as they got inside and helping themselves to many glasses. They drank out on the balcony, overlooking the whole city as they downed more alcohol. 

The suite came equipped with a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom, which (Y/N) was begging him to take advantage of. She stripped down in front of him, lighting candles and drawing a tub of steaming water. She took a bottle of champagne into the bathroom and soaked herself in the tub, lavender scented bubbles surrounding her. Aaron couldn’t resist the temptation of her body, so he quickly followed after her, stripping down and slipping in the bubbles with her. 

She sat on his lap, he kissed down the back of her neck and nibbled on her flesh. She moved her butt into him, the softness of her flesh pushing into his cock. 

“I told you, sometimes it’s fun to be adventurous.” 

“I never doubted that. I just think this is all… crazy…” 

“Are you not enjoying yourself?” She giggled, pushing bubbles towards him and splashing around the water. 

“Oh do not play games with me,” he laughed, splashing water towards her. She squealed when the water hit her face, scrunching her nose as she wiped the bubbles from her cheeks. 

“Let’s go,” she smirked, standing up and carefully stepping out of the bath. Her skin was glistening from the water, bubbles dripping down her flesh. He stared in awe at her, obsessed with every curve, every inch of her more perfect than the last. She walked slowly out of the bathroom, her butt wiggling with every step. She was clearly calling for him, begging for him to follow her wherever she went. And he would. He did.

He ran after her carefully, finding her naked body wrapped in the fluffy comforter of the bed. She smiled when she saw him, sitting up and wrapping her hands around his neck. She brought his face towards her, kissing him slowly, allowing their lips to enjoy every second they had with each other. 

Aaron’s hands were gripped on her hips, his naked body grinding into hers. He hadn’t known this feeling for a long time- the feeling of complete and total calm. For the first time in an absurd amount of time, he wasn’t worried. He wasn’t thinking of every terrible thing that was happening around him. He was only thinking about her- the way her lips felt on his, the way her body moved… his whole life had so suddenly become wrapped up in her. 

But, the trouble was, nothing good in his life stayed. And it was only a matter of time before the universe took her away, too. 

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The rest of their time in Paris went by in a daze. Most of their time they were either drinking or fucking, taking breaks to walk aimlessly around the Louvre and stroll down the Seine. He was heartbroken when he had to go back, but he did miss his son, and was sure the team was falling apart without him. When they landed back in DC, (Y/N) had a car ready to take Aaron home. 

He had a good hour before Jack would be back, so he used his time to take a long shower and brew a strong pot of coffee. It was almost 7 at night, but his body was still messed up from the change in time zones, and he knew he wouldn’t get much sleep that night. He was already missing her, checking his phone every five minutes to see if she would whisk him away on another adventure. 

But, as he quickly learned, she was the type of person to disappear for a while. Aaron didn’t hear from her for seven full days after Paris. Seven full agonizing days of wondering where she was, who she was with, and most importantly- what she was doing. 

Being away from her made it easier for him to realize the reality of their situation. She was a killer; and yeah, maybe she only killed ‘bad’ people, but did that really make it any better? At least, that was the question he was asking himself. Surprisingly, as more time went on, the harder time he had convincing himself she was a villain. Maybe it was because he was falling in love with her, maybe it was because he understood the anger of watching guilty people walk away from things completely unscathed. 

They didn’t speak about work once during their time together, although it was clear Aaron had a lot of questions. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend what she could be doing for Strauss and the Director. Who was she killing that they couldn’t get to the normal way? He wanted to know her life, understand the secrets she spent her existence protecting- but it wasn't for him. And maybe that was for the best. The mystery of it all made it… hotter. 

So when he finally heard from her, seven full days later, he felt like a kid on Christmas. He recognized the ‘unknown’ number as it popped up on the screen, stepping into his office so he could speak with her privately. 

“Hi, Agent,” (Y/N) spoke, her voice singing to him. He loved the way she called him Agent. He loved everything about her. 

“I’ve missed you. Where have you been?” 

“Oh, working. You know.” He could tell she didn’t want to speak any more about work, so he changed the subject. 

“Are you back in DC?” 

“For a bit.”

“Can I see you? Let’s get dinner somewhere. Anywhere.” 

“I… we probably shouldn’t be out together like that… if we saw anyone we knew… your team…” She spoke her words carefully, not sure how to tell him that their relationship wasn’t exactly approved of. Aaron had never really thought about it, but the reality made him sick. Would he never be able to love her publicly? Hold her hand at the park, take her to eat at his favorite restaurant, introduce her to his friends? 

But the adrenaline, the euphoria of being with her- it was worth any negatives. He would eat in the dark with her, hide her in his house, runaway with her… 

“Come over to my place, then. We’ll order pizza, watch a movie.” 

“Hah,” she giggled, her laugh airy and full of light just as he remembered. Hearing it made him smile. “I can’t remember the last time I ordered pizza and watched movies with a boy…” 

“Well, given the circumstances, I have to get creative A.” 

“What about Jack?” 

“Oh,” Aaron responded, forgetting for a moment that she had yet to meet his son. He didn’t think twice about it, wanting his son to know the woman that was bringing him so much joy. But was it safe? And did she want to know him? 

“I don’t want to put you in an awkward situation.” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” 

“What is happening between us? Are we just messing around… Is there feelings?” He hated to ask her such a loaded question over the phone, but he needed to know the answer- he had to know if she was just as head over heels as she was. 

“Agent, no man I’ve ever ‘messed around’ with has this number.” 

Aaron chuckled, the nervousness in his chest subsiding. 

“Come over tonight, please,” he begged, craving the way her lips felt on his. 

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight, Agent.” 

“I’ll see you tonight, A.” 

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Aaron didn’t expect just how wonderful (Y/N) would be with Jack. He had never really seen a maternal side to her before, but she was incredible. Jack took a liking to her as well, even falling asleep between the both of them as they watched Finding Nemo. After they were sure he was asleep, Aaron carried his son to his room and put him to bed, (Y/N) following close behind, in awe of the way Aaron cared for his son. 

“You want a glass of wine?” Aaron whispered to her, the two of them hand in hand as they walked back to the living room. 

“Please!” 

He poured the two of them overly generous glasses of Riesling, snuggling up on the couch next to her and kissing her on the forehead. They tried to find a movie for a bit, scrolling through endless channels before giving up. 

“Can you stay the night?” 

“I wish, but I have to catch an early flight tomorrow,” she frowned, her pout showcasing her perfect lips that he couldn’t get out of his head. 

“Where are you going?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished he could take them back. Her face turned pale and emotionless as she thought of a response, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. 

“You know I can’t tell you that,” she responded. 

“I’m sorry.” He felt uncomfortable, not sure exactly what to say to her. They had never had an awkward silence before, and it made him sick as he waited in the quiet for her to respond. 

“I probably should get going,” she finally said, setting her almost empty glass of wine down on the coffee table. 

“Oh, c’mon, we just got some time alone…” he pleaded, but he could tell by the look on her face he had already lost her. 

“I’m sorry, love. I just have a lot to prepare for this case.” 

“I understand. Will I see you soon?” 

“I’ll do my best, Agent.” 

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California was a popular hot spot for serial killers. It seemed like Aaron and the team were there every other week. This time, San Francisco was the lucky city. He had already been there for two days, stuck on an incredibly weird case, when he got the call. 

“Good morning, Agent,” (Y/N) spoke. 

“A… it’s good to hear from you.” He was relieved at the sound of her voice, the dark energy of this specific case seeping into him, choking any optimism out of him. 

“How are things?” 

“I’m working on a tough case, to be honest. It’s taking a lot out of me.” 

“Would it be better if I was there?” 

“How is that possible?” 

“I was… in the area. Set some time aside to stop by.” 

“I’m going to be really busy…” he frowned, realizing now how difficult it would be to actually see her. 

“Oh, Agent, I sure hope you can make time to see me,” she teased, giggling through the phone, her laugh wrapping him in warmth and shielding him from the darkness of reality for a moment. 

“Well, I have to sleep at some point,” he responded, laughing himself. 

“Call me when you get back to your hotel. I’ll be waiting.” 

Aaron hung the phone up quickly, peeking around the corner of the SFPD office they were currently set up in. Luckily, everyone was too busy to listen in on his personal conversations. He wondered what his team would think if they knew what was going on behind closed doors. Would they still stand around and trust the system they were working so hard to uphold? Because Aaron could barely stomach it. 

“Hey, we’ve got a problem,” Derek said, coming around the corner lookingfor his superior. 

“What’s going on?” 

“C’mon into the conference room. Garcia will explain everything.”

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He didn’t make it back to his hotel for another 12 hours. It was nearing 11 PM by the time he finally closed the door and could be done for the day. Although with his job, he was never really off the clock. 

He called (Y/N), pushing aside any exhaustion he had for a moment with her. She was there within twenty minutes, sneaking through the door, giggling and kissing quietly, trying to be secretive. It was risky, extremely risky for them to be together with his team just on the other side of a thin hotel wall. But he couldn’t help himself. A part of him wanted to get caught, be exposed, so they could stop sneaking around. He wanted to love her in front of everyone. 

He forgot about the case briefly as he lost himself in her flesh, kissing her soft skin and making love to her - twice. When the exhaustion finally overcame him, he crawled into her arms and let the horrors of his job overcome him. 

“It’s a bad one, this case,” he divulged, knowing he shouldn’t be telling her the details, but needed a release. He needed to scream, and she was the only one around to hear. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Some CEO’s kid has been going all around the country killing teenage girls. Eevrytime the police get close to him, he just runs. Five different cities, and he’s escaped them all. Thirty six bodies that we can find. Probably more. And he’s going to get away, here, too. Garcia found out he sold his house a few days ago and bought one in Miami.” 

“Well if you know it’s him, why aren’t you arresting him?” (Y/N) had a confused look on her face, her eyes wide and her lips forming a slight pout as she waited for him to respond. 

“We don’t have enough physical evidence. He fits the profile perfectly, and we are able to trace bodies to him in every city he’s lived in. But that’s not good enough for the courts. He’s just going to keep getting away…” Aaron felt his heart pounding, the face of Foyet flashing over and over in his head. 

“Sometimes… the system doesn’t help everybody.” She wasn’t looking at him, her eyes darting nervously around the room. 

“That’s why people like you exist, right? To serve justice to those who escape it.” 

“That’s one way of looking at it.” 

Aaron looked at her, her cheeks flushed and her breathing sporadic. They were thinking the same thing, it was only a guessing game on who would break the silence first. He didn’t think it would be here, she was too nervous. 

“(Y/N)...” he whispered, placing a hand on hers. 

“What are you asking me to do, Agent?” She finally looked up at him, her face flat and emotionless, a side of her she had never shown him before. It was her work face, her business face. 

“I want you to do your job, A.” 

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” 

“It’s the only way to stop him.” 

“Okay. I’ll take care of it.” She got up out of the bed and started putting her clothes back on, slowly redressing herself as she prepared to go back to work. She grabbed one of the three phones she carried, hastily dialing a number and putting the old cell to her ear. 

“Hey, it’s me. I need the car here ASAP, and the bag... Yeah, it’s a change of plans. … I’ll tell you in the car.” She hung the call up and put the phone back in her bag, refusing the look at Aaron the entire time she was preparing herself. 

“You’re doing this now?” He laughed, getting up and trying to stop her from leaving. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him, her body struggling to get away. She felt tense, tired. Her body was no longer surrounded by it’s usual warm glow. She was cold, and dark. She wasn’t her.

“Agent, if this is what you want, I need to handle it my way. Please let me go.” 

“Will you… can I see you after?” 

“I need to leave the city immediately after it’s done. And it’s best we don't talk for a bit. I can call you when I think things are safe.” 

“How long is a bit? I mean, I don’t want to give you up.” 

“You can’t have both, Aaron. Either I’m (Y/N) or I’m Ananke. Do you want more girls to die? Or do you want a girlfriend?” She was yelling, her voice a loud and intense version of itself that he was unfamiliar with. It made him dizzy. He sat down clumsily on the bed and put his face in his hands. 

“Kill him,” he mumbled. She was quiet for a few seconds, and so was he. And awkward silence. Something they had never had. He felt like she was staring at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her.

“I’ll call you when I can, Agent. It’s been wonderful working with you.” 

Aaron swore as she walked out the door he could hear her cry. Maybe he was making it up to make himself feel better. There was no way she could walk away that easily and not … hurt. He hurt, so terribly bad. How long was a bit? A few weeks, months? Would he ever see her again? 

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Aaron awoke to a loud banging on his door and his phone buzzing like crazy. The ringer was on, but not loud enough to awaken him from his alcohol assisted slumber. He shouldn’t be drinking on the job, he knew that rule better than anyone. But he had to shut his mind up. 

He opened the door to a rattled Derek Morgan, his forehead sweating and hands shaking. 

“You are not going to believe this,” Derek said, chuckling slightly. 

“What’s going on, Morgan?” Aaron knew what he was going to say, but he had to pretend to be surprised. Would Derek know? He was by far the best profiler on the team. How long could Aaron keep up a lie before Derek figured something out? 

“Our unsub died last night. Car accident. He hit a railing and his car just… exploded.” Derek held his tablet out to Hotch, showing him various photos from the scene. His car was completely crushed and torched. You could see his body, but there was absolutely no way to tell what was happening at the time of the accident. The damage of the car was far too elaborate to find any remnants of explosives- if that’s what she used. But whatever she did, it was brilliant. There was no way anyone would think twice about this. She was brilliant. 

He could feel himself smiling, being impressed with her work- but he remembered Derek was still standing there, unknowing of the secrets Aaron held. 

“Well, I guess we can finally get the hell out of San Francisco,” Aaron laughed. 

“You think this is the end? He just dies in a freak accident and it's over? Are we that lucky, Hotch?” Derek’s eyebrows were furrowed in the classic way his face always looked when he was suspicious. 

“He’s not around to hurt anyone else, and that’s the end of it. Our jobs are done here. I want wheels up in an hour.” 

Derek just nodded in agreement with his supervisor, realizing it wasn’t worth the argument. Aaron was right, the bad guy was gone and that was good enough for him. 

Aaron closed the door to his hotel, grabbing his phone and dialing her number. He had assumed she’d already disconnected the line, severing their connection for the time. But it rang, and somebody answered. 

“A…?” he whispered, waiting for her voice. 

“You shouldn’t be calling this number,” a man responded, a voice he recognized as Jays. 

“I know, I know, but please. Please just tell her something for me.” Jay was silent for a moment, deciding what to do. 

“... What?” He asked, quietly. 

“Please just tell her I said thank you. For everything.” 

And then the phone disconnected. The call was over. She was gone. For who knows how long? 

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One week later, SSA Aaron Hotchner was sitting in his office when Erin Strauss walked through his door. She didn’t knock, which made him jump. She walked right in and sat down on his couch, taking a deep breath. A disappointed sigh. 

“Hello, Erin.” 

“Agent Hotcher.” She looked at him angrily, her lips pursed and eyes tight as she thought of her words. 

“What can I do for you?” 

“In all honesty, Aaron… did you think we wouldn’t find out? You are a federal agent. Your passport is flagged any time you enter a foreign country. You were in Paris at the same time as her. And then San Francisco? She was there on assignment and your uncatchable unsub just happens to turn up dead?” 

“Am I fired?” He asked, his only thought on what they were doing to her. 

“Aaron… what are you doing? You are losing yourself! If this is about Haley…”  

“Just tell me something. What are you going to do to her?” He bit his lip nervously, Erin avoiding his eye contact.

“Right now she’s being relocated, on a six month assignment. We’ll see what happens after that.” 

“Where?” 

“You know I can’t tell you that!” 

Aaron sat for a moment, completely unsure of what to say next. Maybe Erin was right, he had lost himself. He would’ve never imagined himself in this situation. 

“What do I do now?” 

“You move on. And you do your job, the right way. I’ll cut you some slack this time, Aaron. But if this happens again… there will be consequences. Do you understand?” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Erin walked out of his office quietly, closing the door as she left. He waited a moment, a long moment, before pulling out his phone. He had to at least try to talk to her. Even if the number didn’t work. He had to try. 

But it rang. And this time he knew it was her who answered. 

“Agent.” She answered sharply. 

“Where are you?” 

“I’m still in DC, as of now.” 

“If I asked you to stay, would you?” 

“You know it doesn’t work like that. Either I go, or they send me to prison. I’m sorry, Aaron. But this… was destined to fail from the beginning.” 

“No, (Y/N). I don’t accept that. I love you.” 

“You can’t. I’m sorry, Agent. This is goodbye.” 

[kuramirocket]

Growing up in California in my grandmother's house, surrounded by tías, tíos, and all my cousins, I always felt a deep connection to my Mexican-American roots. Every generation of my father's family has had incredibly different experiences that reflect much about American history. 

My great-grandfather on my abuela's side, Daniel Martinez, grew up in Mexico and immigrated to Los Angeles. Eventually, he saved enough money to open a neighborhood market, which is where he met my great-grandmother, Guadalupe Miranda Martinez. She had come from Mexico to Los Angeles with her mother and brother as a young teenager. They soon married and began having children. When he lost his business in the 1920s, the family turned to migrant farm work. They were forced to use segregated water fountains and bathrooms and my darker-skinned tíos and tías were sent to Mexican schools, while those with light skin and blonde or red hair were allowed to attend schools with white students.

Unhappy with the segregated schools, my great-grandfather joined up with other families to open the East Barrio School for Latinos in Claremont, CA — fighting the status quo is part of my heritage! They taught reading and writing in Spanish and learned Mexican history at a time when it was hard to show pride about being Mexican.

My great-grandfather on my abuelo's side, Catalino Alba, came from Mexico during the Revolution. He met my great-grandmother when he immigrated to Gallup, NM, where he helped build the Santa Fe Railroad. He was a musician and inspired my abuelo José Alba to sing, practice traditional Mexican dance, and become an accomplished classical guitarist. As a child, there was never a family party where my abuelo didn't play guitar while my abuela, tíos and tías, and cousins sang along. Perhaps this is where I got my love for the performing arts!

My great-grandfather moved to San Bernardino, CA, to work on the railroad and my abuelo José Alba grew up in the barrio where he and his siblings slept head to foot. With little food at home, he often asked the neighbors for fruit from their fruit trees. He was compelled to eat dirt, which he later learned was a natural response to the lack of iron that he needed in his diet. As a kid, he wasn't allowed to swim in a public pool without a certification of vaccination. He would often get glass stuck in his shoes because the soles were so thin and worn out — he couldn't afford anything else. At one point, glass punctured his foot, and as a result he developed lockjaw, which was nearly fatal.

When he could work, he made money selling oranges and picking potatoes. He says the first thing he did when he had money was to go down to Main Street to have his shoes shined by a young boy. He told that boy that he would come every week because he knew he was trying to make his own way too.

There were 12 kids in the family and my abuelo is proud that his mom figured out a way to send them to school as soon as it was possible. She understood the value of education. Even though it was hard for them, she made it a priority.

This is my abuelo and abuela's wedding above — so classic. I always thought our ancestors were Spanish, but I learned through genetic testing that they were Native American, with roots that may go back as far as the Mayan civilization. We've been here from the beginning!

My parents, Mark and Catherine Louisa Alba, were so different . . . but they had the same hairstyle! I know that when my dad was growing up it was difficult for him and his parents to be Mexican-American. The hyphen wasn't an option back then.

My abuelo had only learned English when he transferred to grammar school at around 6 years old, and he was way behind as a result. Like many others of their generation, my grandparents didn't teach their children, including my dad, to speak Spanish. My abuelo says that he didn't even think about it, but I wonder if he associated it with a difficult transition in his life.

I want my girls to embrace their Latino roots, know how much we have contributed to this country, and understand that the road ahead is richer when we acknowledge and embrace our heritage. I want them to learn Spanish like their great-grandparents. I'm incredibly proud of my diverse heritage and I want my daughters to feel the same way.

Jessica Alba is something of a triple threat: She's managed to achieve major success as an actress, fashion designer, and business mogul. It's hard to imagine anyone not wanting to work with Alba, but early in her career she had a hard time getting roles because of her race.

"They couldn't figure out my ethnicity," Alba said. "I would always go out for 'exotic.' They were like, 'You're not Latin enough to play a Latina, and you're not Caucasian enough to play the leading lady, so you're going to be the "exotic" one.' Whatever that was."

Of course, Alba eventually ended up starring in hits like Fantastic Four, Into the Blue, and Good Luck Chuck. So, yeah, it's safe to say she proved those people wrong.

And not only is this actress leading by example; she's also taking steps to change the game herself. The creation of Alba's cosmetics line, Honest Beauty, which she founded as part of her brand, The Honest Company, in 2015, stemmed from her own struggles as a young girl trying to find a foundation that matched her unique complexion. "I didn't feel like, when I was younger, that there were a lot of things offered to women of color," she said.

So Alba went out and made her own. "The philosophy around starting this beauty line is about enhancing who you are instead of cover up and turn you into somebody else," she said.

Jessica Alba’s startup The Honest Company is a veritable success — approaching over $350 million in sales during a year in which many companies struggled — but venture capitalists turned up their noses to the idea at first.

In 2009, Alba had a real issue: She couldn’t find baby products for her newborn that were guaranteed to be safe and eco-friendly. After having an allergic reaction to one of the allegedly baby-safe detergents she bought, she developed her idea the same way many successful entrepreneurs get started: She pitched building the solution she herself wished was on the market.

Alba pitched serial entrepreneur Brian Lee on her idea, who reportedly passed after saying it wasn't “very promising.” The feeling that others don’t see potential in you or your business idea is a familiar frustration for budding entrepreneurs. At the time, Alba remarked that she felt nobody took her seriously as an entrepreneur, or even believed in her idea, even though she knew there would be demand. 

But just five years later, The Honest Company reached unicorn status, valued at over one billion dollars. What changed in those five years that let her take her failed pitch to becoming a success story?

To perfect your pitch, experiment

Fast forward to 2012. Alba is now in Washington, lobbying for an update to reform the 1976 Toxic Substances Control Act. Buoyed by her growing knowledge on the subject, she went back to Lee and pitched him again.

This time, her deck was much more concise, down to less than 30 minutes from start to finish. In a world where most entrepreneurs give up after a rejection or two, Alba instead had spent the years between their two meetings pitching her idea to friends, getting holes poked in her positioning,and answering each and every supply chain question that arose. 

Another change had happened over the last three years: Venture capitalists like Lee, whom she was pitching, had all started young families. Alba’s pitch was rock solid, and as an added bonus her prospective investors wanted the product themselves. 

Lee said yes to the second pitch. The first year The Honest Company was in business, it reported an astonishing $12 million in revenue, a number that has only increased each year. After facing initial rejection on her pitch, Alba’s decision to persevere has led The Honest Company to dramatic success.

At first, everyone told Alba she should start with one product, then expand once that was successful. But this didn’t gel with Alba’s vision of a complete line of baby-safe products; the founder knew parents who wanted clean products wanted a brand that could provide multiple solutions.

Ultimately, Alba ignored the conventional advice and launched with 17 products, which many people believed was too many. But because she didn’t compromise on that, either to venture capitalists or herself, the launch was a total success.

Sources: (×) (x) (x) (×)

[digitalvoidheart]

A Pixelated New Moon

This is a random idea I came up when extremely down in the dumps and also wanted to try writing angst for the first time... (also new moon is a moon completely shadowed soit's basically something in the oneshot)

Also, this is a random au I made up where everyone's life is in a multiplayer game. I know not very original but pls enjoy!

Players/Characters:

♠ Moon (passive nightmare)

♠Nightmare (corrupted nm and a separate being)

♠Horror

♠Killer

♠Dust

♠Cross

Moon knew his team was unstoppable and was proud of it.

Horror, even with that cracked skull from a false 1v1 (his opponent had an accomplice hidden for a sneak attack, Horror came out victorious eventually), his agility is unaffected and he can pack a punch with his attacks.

He may say that he lacks in the defense department but when it comes to combat, he usually attacks when the team is surrounded, creating a soundwave-like attack with his bone weapon constructs, giving him the title of the team's main offence.

Next comes Dust. He's a mysterious one if Moon had to be honest. Not only did he refuse to narrate his backstory or history of his previous teams, but his level on all skills seemed to be on par. No one knows what he specializes in wether it is defense, healing or combat because he has activated his hidden card. A special item which hides the stats of the player. An expensive item but with the high level he's in, it's possible for him to own one.

He could protect the team in one second, heal Horror the next and attacking side by side with Nightmare on the next, all mid battle. Moon found it very impressive.

Another dangerous member is Killer. He may not have the same knockout attacks as Horror, nor the magic abilities like Dust, but he makes up the team by his traitorous speed. His slump posture may make it seem he's lazy but he's far from that.

He could land a good amount of slashes onto his opponent in the least amount of time, immobilizing them temporarily sometimes. He doesn't fear much, proven by the wide cocky grin plastered on at all times and the fact that he chooses close range attacks while his target shaped SOUL was always within the enemy's grasp? Deliciously terrifying.

Lastly, Nightmare. The leader of the team, one who plans ahead, always knowing way the opponents are thinking. He has the highest level compared to everyone under his wing, the aforementioned trio having a small reduction to reach his level, and Moon a LARGE one.

He didn't even know why he was needed in the team. Horror's attack, Dust's magic and Killer's speed made up the perfect balance of a team. His constant request for why they need him always went unanswered by Night. He can't even leave without Nightmare's consent, that being the rules of the life-or-death game they play. Any player who wishes to leave their team has to have their removal granted by the team leader. His permission for leaving went deaf as his questions.

The trio always had their answers on them for him, albeit it's a little untrue.

"Need ya for...shieldin' me. Got low defense, r'member?" You don't need me. You've got Dust.

Dust's minute responses were similar "You're useful..." No Dust, I'm just a burden. You don't need to heal me midbattle either. Use it for Nightmare or Horror instead.

"Pretty sure 'cuz you hold up a shield better than any of us" Funny, Killer. And I'm at least another 25 levels below you guys...

He's pretty sure no one knows of his secret to try up his levels, so that's out of the options. Everyone has their share of G, albeit higher than his for earning more EXP than him for being on the offense. So why do they want him if it isn't money or battle?

His answers come to him when they enter the next quest. The blue screen appearing before each of them reading :

-

Welcome to level XX!

Here, you will be separated into two groups. Team one with any number of players will be challenged with X number of quests through the white gate while team two with one player will pass through the abyss through the black gate.

Choose wisely!

-

Oh... A sacrifice.

"I'll go" Moon smiled even when the heavy words sent a metaphorical spear to his SOUL. He can do this. It's for the team. He might not know what the quest in the abyss is but no one's returned once entering the abyss r-right? They needed him so they could pass this level. So why did it hurt to line the facts together?

"No." Nightmare deadpanned, his decision locked with no room for argument. "We'll rest up at the checkpoint and discuss who to go where tomorrow."

What? I-I'm not th- a sacrifice?

Moon's voice failed him from the assertiveness of his leader. And like that, he was lead to the previous checkpoint where they discussed at the inn for whom to go, and honestly? Moon wasn't listening at all.

This could be his chance to detach his leeching body from their assets and give them a higher chance of success! Maybe they can even find a better player with a higher level than himself to benefit the guys more. But why do they need to discuss who to go when the answer was right in front of them?

While Nightmare and the others planned for who to go, Moon made his own plan to carry out during their slumber. As the moment arrived at midnight, he slipped out to carry a few errands quests the inn offered for G and his own personal plans.

He won't let their efforts go to waste. Not when he was around.

***

The next day, the team of five made their way back to gates of the next level.

Moon spared a glance at Nightmare to see him nod at the trio. As one of them stepped closer to the black portal. It was Killer. A valuable and speedy asset to the team.

Moon let out a sigh and exhaled his message to them.

"I'm sorry"

Killer was pulled away with blue magic as his purple cloaked companion whisked past his fallen figure and into the abyss. The portal closed before any of them had time to figure out what had happened.

---

The rumours were false. The Abyss wasn't heavy. Sure, it was dark but you could still see yourself in a white outline only. And apparently, he wasn't the only one.

He watched as players teleport into the Void, some calm, others screaming and shouting for someone (probably they were betrayed by their own team) before they all are faced with a monochromatic screen. Upon his distraction, he didn't notice the exact replica of the screen in front of him as well.

-

Welcome to the abyss!

This is a test of patience and trust for your team. You will watch as your team completes their quests and at the end, choose your fate

-

It didn't say much but the pixelated screen then glitched, showing a live view of his team. They look upset and unhappy, except Nightmare.

He looked furious. If he wasn't mad with Moon before, he was now. Maybe he might allow him to leave the team. That is if he can leave the abyss in the first place.

Looking back, he noticed the distraught player a small distance away from him as they tapped on their screen.

He watched, wide-eyed as they disintegrated into pixels. Like monster dust. Death...

Although, he was quickly distracted by another monster watching through his screen.

A skeleton monster they were. The same outline white around him didn't tell the colours the monster possessed but his right eye light and lightning-bolt scar on his right cheek were red. Does that mean eyelights remain their colour?

Getting a response from the new guy was difficult. He refused to speak.

After multiple attempts Moon sighed "Could I get your name at least?" More silence from the skeleton and Moon gave up.

"It's Cross"

His head shot back at the red eyed skeleton. Before he decided to shut up himself and watch his team.

He turned in time to see Horror summon a shield himself to protect Dust from an attack. So it was a fluke. The incapability to defend himself...

"I knew it..." he said to no one but Cross turned to his direction from the screen. "They really didn't need me. It was all a lie..." tears welled up in his sockets, blurring the view of his team effectively.

"B-but why did they wanna keep me if i wasnt for a sacrifice?" He croaked. He watched as Nighmare and the guys cleared the stage in a blur.

Another thing he was. A deadweight.

Completely forgetting that he was crying near a complete stranger, he swiftly wiped his tears and residual magic from his face. He pulled up his cloak's cowl only to hear Cross speak once more.

"You're their anchor." Moon turned to Cross.

"W-what?" What did he mean by anchor?

"Having high levels means you are more likely to loose control of your mind, resulting in messes you never intended on happening. "

Eyes never leaving the team, he continued, "You were basically kept so that they have a distraction from overdoing things. Like that grey hooded guy," he pointed at Dust "he seems to keep healing the guy with a cracked skull mid battle to avoid losing his sanity from his bottomless well of magic"

Moon looked at Dust, then averted his gaze to his feet in shame.

Cross explained how the others may have benefited from him and Moon took it all in.

And even if it seemed like minutes, Moon felt like he'd been talking with him for hours and have been friends for longer.

He didn't want to leave Cross. He could take him with and show him to the team. Maybe they will accept him and-

Ping!

Moon looked up to see hi- Nightmare's team has passed through all quests and now are waiting in front of a transporter. The screen glitched once, twice before turning back to the message screen. This time, it displayed a volume symbol and a female voice spoke.

"Player Moon, your team has successfully passed through level XX. You have an option to go back to your team which costs 78000 G, or stay in the void till you disintegrate. Choose wisely on what will benefit your team."

W-what? Already? He can go back! He has enough G for three tickets from scraping all the G from his secret task job in checkpoints! He can redeem himself, apologise to Nightmare and-

"Congratulations" Cross' voice pierced through his thoughts. He was smiling, but Moon knew better.

"Come with me" he demanded.

"That's against the rules, little Moon" Cross countered. He looked over Moon's shoulder at the screen, which had apparently heard him, giving a robotic 'affirmative'. "Besides, I don't have a team to go back to nor the G to buy myself out"

Moon's eyelights began wavering as he paced. Looking at his options, he only had three.

He took deep breaths to calm himself from the edge of panic. Opening his eyes, he looked at Cross.

He was hiding sadness behind a stoic mask, wanting to be strong with Moon returning safe to his team. It crushed his Soul to know that the determination in it was slowly burning out to a flickering flame.

Cross' stats were a considerably good amount, higher than Moon's obviously. His understanding and calm during a panicked situation is admirable.

But if only one of them can leave...

Who should?

☆********☆

I'll do 3 endings after my exams so look forward to it!

1

2

3

Btw to all angst writers... HOW TF DO YOU DO IT WITHOUT HAVING TO BE SAD?!!! I was only able to write this cuz I was sad. :(

[familiarboomerang]

Enby Mai headcanons: Coming out

Mai first started out identifying as Demiflux, fluctuating between varying degrees of female and agender.

Ty Lee was the first one she told

Ty Lee was very supportive...a little TOO supportive to an obnoxious degree

"So, your pronoun set is still she, her, hers, and herself, right."

Mai shrugged. It's whatever.

Ty Lee, confused: what, ever, whatevers, and whateverself?

She was being 100% serious

Mai jest facepalmed. "She/her is fine."

She was hesitant to tell Azula, but when she did, it went surprisingly well.

Considering this is Azula we're talking about...

"Fine. I don't care if you're an orange viper bat, just kill who I tell you to kill."

Ember Island reveals your true self, so she thought it was fitting that she come out to Zuko there.

"What? I don't get it how are you partly...not...anything? But only sometimes? WHAT?"

Mai got upset and almost walked away before Zuko stopped her

"I'm not going to lie and say I understand a single word of what you said, but I trust you to know yourself. If that's who you are, then I'll learn to understand. Because I..."

"You what?"

"I...I mean your my girlfriend again, right? I mean, my...not-a-girl friend? What do I even call you? Because if you're not anything sometimes and something another time then-"

She kissed him to shut him up.

They later settled on "lover" to be used in public and "pest" just between them

After the war ended and she was free to do what she wanted, she started exploring gender presentation, dressing androgynous or even masculine sometimes

People around the palace looked at her strangely but between her own knife skills and the fa t that she was dating the Firelord, they kept their opinions to themselves.

Zuko got advice from Aang (with Mai's permission) about nonbinary genders, as they were quite common in Air Nomad society.

He learns a lot and in turn helps Mai learn

Mai eventually figures out she more prefers the term genderflux

No wait, genderfluid

Ok nm I'm here and I'm queer

It was about six years after the end of the war when Mai became openly and proudly genderqueer.

She became the forefront of the new LGBT movement in the Fire Nation

A gender-neutral title, Firenoble (as opposed to Firelady) was created specifically for her

By Iroh because you know he would

[ceo-of-choco-bibi]

HCLW 107 SPOILERS

I've actually been so upset over the past few days because of the new chapters... nothing to worry about though it's not too serious.

I am making content, in terms of fics I got one more oneshot to add to my current chocotemp collection, a HnK au, and a new series of oneshots, more precisely about how I feel GRG would respond to the current event in the real world. In terms of art I have a few sketch graphs and one piece planned, but it might take a while to churn out.

(Check out my ao3 for my fics! https://archiveofourown.org/series/1811194)

For now I just really want to talk about them because they make me so sad and happy at the same time. Enjoy my rambling.

Giga 13th squad! They're all so cool, Giga's squad are really just Squad 1 Legendary characters team, the other fillers and Squad 13th. I immediately fall for any teleportation-related character, so Veganic is like (chef's kiss)! He is adorable I want to pick him up and put him in my fancy coat pocket.

MASTER SWORDSMAN ALWAYS GETS THE COOLEST PANELS! AS HE SHOULD! HE SLAYS ALL THE TIME UGH I

I hate the word goated but he really is he's the coolest and I hope he knows it! I feel embarrassed for talking to a fictional character but I wish he knows how much I love and cherish him

"There are times in life when you lose. If you're bound to lose, then just do the best you can! Then there will be a next time." I'm so devastated. How could you leave like this. How could you leave so happy when I'm dying over here.

"Give it to Choco Bibi and tell him it's my gift to congratulate him for becoming the second guild master of Grass Roots."

"How about we fight with our swords? It's been a while!"

"There should be a home for him to return to after he's done wandering. I'm going to start a new guild."

You don't understand. I don't have words for how painful this is. Just revel in the pain with me.

And here comes the backstory fluff (aka a sweetener to make the angst more bitter)

"How about we dance to draw attention?" "I think that'll make things worse." HELP ME

I CAN'T BELIEVE BIBI CANONICALLY HAS PRETTY BOY PRIVILEGE!!!! AS HE SHOULD???????

I'm actually never going to shut up about how Bibi never blushes in the presence of women. Like never. MSM and Drip Soup are always blushing when there's pretty women around but really Bibi has never shown attraction. When Pooh Upooh was naked? No. When Coco first entered the guild? No. Here, where a girl literally says she wants to go on a date with him? NO. This is actually my queer agenda, me and Sehun Kim had a talk and we agreed on making Bibi queer coded.

I would have never guessed that Drip Soup and Tempest were both affiliated with Giga for a short while? Guess I manifested my Giga!GRG but in a different way

I've never let go of the headcanon that Bibi is fucking terrible with feelings and is always angry, this just solidifies it more (really, every interaction Bibi has is just solidifying the theory that he's emotionally constipated)

I've also got the feeling that Bibi's super prideful in the sense that he would rather not express weakness (cry, express pain) in front of others (seen when he gets beaten by NM!Bibi the first time on) and that he channels everything into spite and anger instead. I kind of want to see this when he realises MSM is gone later on also. I want to see him get irrationally mad and blame someone (HCLW) before realising (or realising but still feeling lost and like he has to target someone) MSM wouldn't have wanted this. Armes wouldn't have wanted this. His friends are the only ones left.

It really comforts me to see that Master Swordsman is happy with his life right now. I'm kind of stuck between "oh he's happy because he's well off from the game, his work doesn't count" and "anything that you're happy with in life is worth it. You don't need an office job to be happy" though, but for real. I've never wanted a regular office job and I'd rather just do something simple and get by since nothing matters in the long run when I die. But at the same time, I feel like I can only say this because of how privileged I am to be me. It's hard being alive, sometimes. I'll pull through.

Tempest appearance! This time it solidifies my idea that Tempest finds his friends to be more important than himself, at least at this point of time. I expand a lot more in my new fic and I've written a bunch there already, so I'll save it for then (haha, shameless plug)

It's so bloody funny that they're all from the same school and that they're meeting up for a battle. What are you, YouTubers with beef?

TEMPEST BEING A GOODY TWO SHOES NERD? HIS HAIR IS KIND OF FLUFFY? (I die.) TEMPEST AND BIBI IRL INTERACTION? THEY KNOW EACH OTHER IRL BEFOREHAND? (I die again.) BIBI EATING POPCORN? (I die once more.)

Anyways Bibi with a sugar addiction I really do not need to elaborate on this.

They are such LOSERS who does irl fights I swear to god yall EMBARRASSING /lh

I MANIFESTED HEAVY ALCOHOL TOLERANCE BIBI YOU HAVE ME TO THANK FOR THIS!!!!!!! I REALLY DID!!!!!!!! (My linked headcanon was that Bibi's the group protector when they're out drinking. It's sort of true.)

I can't do this. This is a lot for my heart. To whoever looks at this, why? But also thank you for being here it means a lot to me.

MSM RICH

Bibi gets couch rights as he should! Also Bibi and Tempest airpod users while MSM and Soup earphone users?

Glasses and WFL came from nowhere but alright I still love them

The gifts thing. The gifts thing. I am so upset it's unbelievable.

The hat... the hat was given to Bibi by MSM... I want to see him have a breakdown now. I want to see him wear the hat forever on after this arc because it's something solid he has left. He's an art major irl, I want to see him recreate the hat or make art related to MSM.

"You might be grumpy on the outside, but I know you always think dear of me. I'm glad you don't know what I'm doing right now. If you did, you would've stopped me by any means."

It hurts so much.

"Life doesn't always go your way. And sometimes... you just want to run away from the life that turned out so differently. Some people say, the place you run off to is no paradise. They may be right, but those who ran away can still comfort each other there."

GRG IS LITERALLY FOUND FAMILY! THEY ARE LITERALLY-

I cannot do this anymore it's horrible my heart is shattering into a million pieces

"How did we end up like this? You went through enough to deserve a little happiness. Hardcore. Go back to your friends!"

He does deserve it. You deserve it. I hate this. Thank you. Sorry.

And Bibi still doesn't know. He'll be the last to know. "Did he go knowing I loved him? What were his last words? How do I go on? What do I do from now?"

I do want to see them reunite and remember. I do want to see them waddle in their hurt and pain, to heal together, to move on as a guild knowing this is what MSM would have wanted. It's so fascinating seeing someone grow and oh how much have the Grass Roots grown in the past 3 years. They've been close to my heart since forever and I really love them so much.

Final conclusion: I hope you've hurt as much as I do. I hope reading this has shown you something from my perspective that has made you hurt a little more. Talk to me and be my friend so we can hurt together.

On a more self note: Like I said, I'm writing stuff. I'm drawing stuff. It sucks to think sometimes that so few people will see it, but I know that I love what I'm doing. I may be prideful and want more people to love me, but I think I'm not selfish for wanting so. Reading this drains me. Reading this fills me with inspiration and joy and happiness and pain and anger and sadness.

I hope you don't find it just plain cringe that my emotions work like this. I hope that you reading this find comfort in knowing someone feels this way too. Thank you.

[thexfridax]

Translated interview

Noémie Merlant & Naomi Amarger: ‘Heaven will wait’

Bernd Sobolla, 1000 Interviews.com, February 2017

// Additions or clarifications for translating purposes are denoted as [T: …]. //

Love and jihad via the internet

The French director Marie-Castille Mention-Schaar (’Once in a Lifetime’) tells the story how two ordinary girls are contacted and finally recruited by Daesh [T: the article labels the movement as IS, I choose to use Daesh, please read up on the difference, for example here] activists via the internet. The film reconstructs the recruitment process and alienation from the family: Sylvie lives alone with her daughter Mélanie. They spend a lot of time together, and Sylvie is proud of the close relationship with her daughter. But then Mélanie meets a boy on the internet who writes to her regularly, compliments her, and finally asks her how she thinks about religion. One day, Mélanie disappears to join Daesh in Syria. Catherine and Samir are the parents of 17-year-old Sonia, a happy family who master their daily life together. But when they return from the summer holidays, their house is stormed by the police and Sonia is put under arrest. Sonia has joined jihad, ready for an attack in her home country. The parents are shocked at how estranged their daughters have become. But they are ready to do everything they can to get them back. A conversation with the two leading actresses Noémie Merlant (Sonia) and Naomi Amarger (Mélanie).

Interviewer: Noémie Merlant, were you reluctant to play a potential suicide bomber, or were you just happy to get the role?

Noémie Merlant: It took me a few months to prepare for this role. Because I’m playing Sonia, who is being recruited by Daesh or who is on the path of recruitment. But on set I had to forget everything I had learned before. Because the girl I play no longer acts rationally.

Naomi Amarger: It was similar for me, going into the role and figuring out the character. It is not easy to understand how to be recruited. And I wanted it to come across […] as authentic and credible as possible. For me, the shooting was a little different than for Noémie. It was the director’s wish that I go into the role step by step and not know everything in advance. I should also be more myself and act instinctively. So, I gradually discovered what was happening to Mélanie.

I: Is the film based on a true story or a combination of similar stories?

NM: The film is based on true stories, although not exactly with the two young women as recruited in the film. The director Marie-Castille Mention-Schaar had contacted many families and young people who had got into such a situation. She interviewed them and made a documentary. In the end, these two young women are a combination of different stories.

NA: Everything is quite real. When the film was first screened - in front of about 30 young girls and the families affected by this - they said they fully recognised themselves in the characters of Sonia and Mélanie.

I: How did Marie-Castille Mention-Schaar prepare you for the roles? And what influence did the attacks in Paris and Nice have?

NM: The affected families mentioned above had met the director through a drop-in centre run by Mrs [Dounia] Bouzar [T: see here and here for more information], supporting parents whose children were contacted by Daesh. She provided us with many documents and made contact with the families. In this way Marie-Castille gained a lot of authentic insights, which she shared with us. To prepare I met a young girl who was in the process of deradicalisation. I had an intensive exchange with her: we got very close. For example, she taught me how to pray and [T: told me] how she was recruited. She did this out of the desire to save others from this experience. There were several reasons why this girl identified with the Islamists: she felt that there was a lack of spirituality nowadays, that it was all about consumption in our society and that there was a lot of injustice. I also ask myself these questions. After the horrific attack in Paris, we were even more agitated, and I asked myself: ‘Can I still come across authentically now?’ On the other hand, we also felt enraged. We wanted to fight the people who do this. And that has also been incorporated into our film.

I: Naomi, we see you as Mélanie, who emphasises the prayer rituals even more than her Muslim friend. Why is Mélanie so strict with herself?

NA: The first contact is online. Daesh recruits the young women via the internet. Religion comes much later; it only comes up when the girls are separated from their family, school and friends and are already integrated into the Islamist group. Then the virtual friend takes action and begs her to convert. She does this out of love or to please him, to do everything he teaches her. She is stricter than a girl who comes from a Muslim family. She is so strict with herself because she wants to do everything right.

I: It is one thing to fall in love and then meet somewhere. With Mélanie, it remains an online relationship, and yet she ties herself to this stranger. Can you still relate to Mélanie?

NA: Going to a foreign country for a stranger, I can’t relate to that myself. But falling in love with someone you don’t physically have in front of you and know, that’s relatable. Mélanie shares her thoughts and feelings with him in writing. For example, he finds the words that move her very much. They talk about the same dreams. And the virtual sphere is almost a relief sometimes. You can definitely fall in love. This may happen faster than in reality. It’s faster and easier if you sit in your room. Because then you are more willing to confess. And in Mélanie’s case, her grandmother also died. So, she is suffering and mourning. And he finds the right words. I can imagine that very well…

I: Noémie, Sonia almost seems manic in her desperation about not being allowed to die. What is going on inside her?

NM: The whole thing is gradually evolving. Rational thinking is simply switched off. That is the ideology of Daesh and the group to which you then belong. The fear of death that you usually have is fading, because you are gradually pushed in a different direction. You receive many answers during the recruitment. These are the wrong answers, but these answers provide certainty at first. And once this ideology is internalised, mind and heart are completely separated from each other: it is about going to paradise. If you want that, you also agree to become a martyr in order to enter eternity, this is also for the people you love.

I: We see how an expert, Mrs Bouzar, explains Islam to affected parents in the drop-in centre. This includes the misinterpretation by people in Daesh. These are moments that almost seem documentary to me. Do you think that these moments are crucial for the film?

NM: These scenes were very important to me personally. Especially when you listen to what the parents have to say, it was a relief for me. Mrs Bouzar first makes a diagnosis, but then everyone does the analysis together. That was very helpful.

I: Naomi, what was the most important experience for you in this film project?

NA: For me, the most striking moment was not during the shooting, but at the first public screening with the families and girls who went through this. Young women who had been recruited and are now in the process of social reintegration. We were, of course, concerned for those who lived through it. But the parents then told us that they were very moved by what they had seen. In some cases, they thought they were practically watching their own child going through this. The parents were also satisfied because it is important for them to be better understood by the public. Many people probably think: ‘The parents are to blame for this to happen!’ And many of the young women said they recognised themselves.