#and as a result they could listen to their bodies and didn’t always want sweets/junk food

[brunchbitch]

In therapy today, I was talking about how some foods have such an association from my childhood as being *bad* foods and it’s so incredibly frustrating. Specific food mentions and associated negative stigmas under the cut.

For example, I LOVE microwave popcorn. It was one of my favorite after school snacks, but obviously the smell lingers. My parents would get home, smell it, and say “again? Really? Popcorn isn’t good for you. Can’t you just have cut up fruit instead?” Now almost every time I make it and smell it, I’m reminded of that judgment my parents put on it.

Another one was one time when I was a teen and my ED was already “out”, I begged my mom to order dominos for dinner bc she wasn’t sure what to make. I ate too much, and purged. I admitted it to her the next day. She asked “was it the dominos?” in a condescending tone and I just internally rolled my eyes. Like cool now we’re never gonna eat dominos again. I mentioned both of these to L and we both rolled our eyes so hard and laughed. Like it’s sad but also ridiculous. Food isn’t inherently bad!! I admitted that on St. Patricks day we had been day drinking and I got a big salad at like 4pm so I wasn’t hungry for a whole meal for dinner. So I ate almost an entire bag of chips 🤦‍♀️ and NOT a single serving bag, like a big fucking bag. Felt like such shit afterwards. L was like “as much as I love sour cream and onion chips, I’m sure if you checked in with your body, there was probably a point where it would have said ok, I think I’ve had enough, these aren’t as good as the first few bites.” But when I’m tipsy or high, it’s like I’m completely out of touch with my body. I’m not being ~mindful~ when I’m eating.

It just makes me sad that these memories have tainted some food for me.

[mywonuderful]

Don’t Ignore Your Own Potential

Pairing: Minhyuk x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

A/N: Don’t let people form your own image for you. I deeply apologize that this took longer than expected. I’ve kind of loss my creativity and motivation to write but I’m slowly recovering but now! Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! 

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“Min... I really don’t want to do this...” You whined as your boyfriend dragged you out of the car into the building. You’ve been at home for the past week, snacking on nothing but junk because of a project at work. You’ve been given the opportunity to lead a new project which was always your dream but not reality brought you back on how difficult the task was. You’ve been pulling multiple consecutive all-nighters, sitting for long hours and skipped meals to only binge eat on whatever was within reach, which was either fast food or junk. As a result of all this unhealthy habits building up, you’ve put on some weight, fast. You were more curvaceous and plumped but Minhyuk loved you endlessly, showering you with gentle reminders that he loves your curves. Because of this you were always thankful whenever you faced insecurities, especially with your body. But Minhyuk also made sure to let you know just how much he loves you and your body no matter what.

Today, you were finally able to get some properly sleep after pulling 3 all-nighters with Minhyuk trying to stay by your side. He knew it wasn’t healthy for you, but he also knew how passionate and strong you were with your work, and because of this, he quietly stayed by your side, humming soft reminders for you to stretch and hydrate. After waking up from a properly rest, Minhyuk was acting a little strange. You were met with his wide smile the moment you opened your eyes but he wasn’t beside you in bed. Instead, he was standing by the door, peaking through, almost making your heart jump out of your chest.

“You’ll see once you come out. Hurry up!” He waved and left the bedroom. You sat on the bed, confused and suspicious in his actions.

“I almost mistaken you as a creeper! Stop smiling and peaking through the door like that, it’s giving me chills.” You rubbed your eyes, stretching you arms over your head. Minhyuk walks over to the bed and brushed the hair out of your face, as he bent down to give you a kiss on your forehead.

“How’d my baby sleep?” he asked as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Amazingly.” You let out a satisfied sigh, smiling softly.

“I can tell. You normally wake up to the slightly noise but when I accidentally knocked over one of the books one the bookself, you didn’t even budge.” He lets out a chuckled, softly ruffling your hair. “Hurry and get washed up. I made breakfast and we’re going out later on.” He stood back up as you looked up at him with confused eyes.

“You cooked?”

“Yeah and we’re going to head out so get washed up.”

“No no... you cooked?” You raised your voice, questioning yourself as well. As much as you love your boyfriend and appreciated everything he has done, cooking just isn’t his forte.

‘Okay let’s get this straight. So first he came in looking like a creeper. And then said he made breakfast? He only every does that to hint that he wants me to do something... but what is it that he wants me to do...?’ You tried gathering your thoughts but came to an unknown conclusion. Sighing in defeat, you headed to the bathroom to wash up. While changing out of your pajamas, you took a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, noticing how you’ve put on some weight on your side. You quickly shook your head, trying to get rid of the negative thoughts from forming and headed to the dining area where Minhyuk has set out breakfast for you. But not just any breakfast. Oatmeal.

“You made this?” You pointed at the bowl of oats with some frozen berries and peanut butter.

“Yup! It’s delicious, trust me.” He walked behind you, pushing forward towards the chair to sit you down. You never liked oatmeal. One being that it tastes like cardboard and two, it’s healthy. And you’ve been eating all but healthy the past few weeks.

“I think it’ll just make myself some instant ram-”

“No! I spent all morning trying to make this for you!” Minhyuk pouted. He knew you couldn’t resist his pout. Narrowing your eyes at him, you gave in. You picked up the spoon and pushed around the fruits, looking at the oats in disgust. You looked over to Minhyuk, who was happily munching down his bowl

“You know I love you right?” You said, trying to hint that you don’t want to eat it.

“Well, if you love me, then you’ll eat the breakfast I worked so very hard on.” He spoke back, making you roll your eyes. You took a small spoonful of oats with the berries and peanut butter before shutting your eyes shut and eating it. At first you didn’t like the texture of the mushy oats but as you bit into it, the flavour of the berries and peanut butter surprisingly made it better.

“Not bad right?” He smiled, seeing that you didn’t spit out the food. You quietly nodded, too shocked to admit yourself. “We’re off to a good start.” You heard him mumble to himself. After eating, he brought you to the bedroom, telling you that he suddenly wants to pick your outfit. You sat on the bed, arms crossed, trying to figure out just what your boyfriend has up in his sleeve. Just when you were about to ask, he turned from the closest holding a set of clothes, making your eyes jump out

“NO WAY AM I WEARING THAT. ARE YOU CRAZY?” You exclaimed as he stared at the outfit finding nothing wrong.

“But I don’t see any problem?” You covered your eyes, too afraid to open them again.

“That whole thing is the problem!”

“But... It’s just... Activewear...?” He tried convincing you to try putting it on but you shook your head furiously, throwing pillows at him to get it out of your sight.

“If you wear this, I’ll let you win the next time we play Mario Kart!”

“No!”

“I’ll let you take longer baths!”

“No!”

“I won’t nag you for taking too long to get ready...?”

“NO!”

“Okay what about I’ll take you out to whatever restaurant you want to eat for the next week.”

“N-hmmm...” You were about to throw the last pillow but held on, contemplating whether it’s a good deal or not.

“Any restaurant?” You raise an eyebrow, interested in the deal. Minhyuk must’ve been surprised with the offer he made, as he covered his mouth in surprised

“...I guess..” A sight leaves his mouth as you jumped up from the bed, grabbing the clothes and scurried into the bathroom to change while picturing all the places you could be eating at. You bombarded him question after wearing the outfit he’s given you, asking where he’s bringing you but he only smiled, saying “you’ll see.” Getting excited during the ride, all your thrill vanished the second you see Minhyuk turning into a big building with a glossy black sign reading ‘FITNESS CENTER.’

“Min... I really don’t want to do this...” You whined as your boyfriend dragged you out of the car into the building. This was the center that Minhyuk has been regularly visiting for the past month with Wonho who got him into exercise. Your eyes wandered endlessly on enormous the gym was, packed with people using all sorts of machines and equipment.

“We’re here!” He excited exclaimed as you shot him a death glare.

“And why exactly are we here?” You asked as he dragged brought you to the squats machine after the warmup.

“Look Y/N. I love you not matter how you look. Your body will forever always be perfect in my eyes but seeing you eat all that junk and fast food for the past week really hurts me. I didn’t say anything because you were already in such a stressed state but since you’re almost finished with the project, I decided to bring you here so that you can improve you health! Plus, you’ll feel so much more refreshed afterwards!’ Minhyuk’s confession hits your heart. You have to agree, you were eating unhealthy but the fact that Minhyuk took in consideration of you and that he’s only trying to help you made your heart glow. Seeing how patiently he wait brought out a sudden burst of motivation and energy.

“Alright then. I’ll listen to you. But let me just say, I don’t think I can last 2 minutes on the treadmill.” You said while tying up your hair as he lets out a chuckle, quickly giving you a peck on the cheek before explain how to use the machine. As he gripped his hand around the mental bar, the biceps in his arms flexed, making them pop as it showed his toned arms. When he slowly squad down, his toned thighs revealed itself, making you come off guard when he got back up asking if you have any questions.

“H-Huh? Oh yeah, I got it.” You slightly shook your head, telling yourself to focus

“You like what you see?” He teased as you felt your cheeks flush. You embarrassingly punched your boyfriend before positioning yourself in front of the machine. You lifted the metal bar from behind before slowly squatting down along with it. Once you came back up, you gave him a blank look.

“Are you okay?! Did you pull a muscle?! Is it too heavy?!” He rushed over to you, with worried all over his face

“No... It’s too light.” You plainly stated making Minhyuk choke.

“It’s too light...? This is my maximum though...” He quietly confessed. “That’s awesome! Who would’ve known that my girlfriend can be this tough and strong?” He expression instantly shifted as he starting pouring compliments. Hearing his sweet and hyped words brought out more energy in you which strangle made you want to work out more.

“Okay, let’s finish the session with some abs workouts!” Surprisingly, you found it fun and interesting workout using different machines. Minhyuk went over each machine, taking his time to thoroughly explain everything and demonstrate each move so that you won’t injury yourself. Though you’re drenched in sweat, you couldn’t help but to feel refreshed and energized along the way. Minhyuk dragged out a mat and settled it in front of you.

---

“Alright one more set!” His hand hovered over the bar as he spotted you while you performed the flat chest press using heavier weights.

“ALRIGHT THAT’S IT!” His voice suddenly got loud. “THAT’S MY GIRL. LOOK AT HER GO.” You couldn’t help but to burst into laughter while trying to maintain proper posture.

“AND GIVE ME 3....2....1!” You let out a sigh and Minhyuk helped you place back the bar before you sat up, realizing that people around were all staring at you.

“THAT MY GIRL FOR YOU GUYS. SHE’S A MONSTER FOR SURE!” You quickly hushed your sudden hyper boyfriend as they all started applauding making you bow in complete confusion with a flushed face.

“Don’t you need one too?” You asked but he shook his head and told you to lay down with your feet place on the ground. You did as you told, giving him a puzzled look but he looks at you with a smile before walking over to where you feet was and knelled down, wrapped his hands around your ankles.

“W-What are you doing Min?! We’re at the gym!” You jolted and sat up, your eyes almost popping out of your face.

“What do you mean ‘what am I doing?’ I’m holding your ankles down so you can do crunches.” He chuckled, giving you a lightly poke on your forehead. You laid back down, feeling awkward as you tried shaking away your thoughts. “Alright, try lifting your upper body head, keeping your head and neck relaxed and tighten your core.” He instructed. You tried lifting your body up but failed to lift it any more than a few centimetres off. You fell back down, letting out groan on how difficult it was.

“I don’t think I can do this. It’s too difficult.” You complained but Minhyuk didn’t want to hear it.

“Try closing your eyes and doing it. You’ll be more focus in a way.” You were skeptical about his words but listened nonetheless. Closing your eyes, you crunched up when you suddenly felt something warm on your lips. Your eyes shot up and see Minhyuk’s face inches away from yours. “I told you closing your eyes works.” He smirks before you playfully punched him. “I mean you even got higher than before!” He explained. You couldn’t help but to smile at his adorable actions. He just knew what to do to make you feel all the butterflies. You continued doing crunches with him giving you quick pecks from reps here and there. And whenever you were about to scold him, he would only state that it’s called the ‘peck crunch.’

“So how you find the workout?” He asks as the both of you walked out of the building feeling fresh after using their spa and shower. “It seems like you enjoyed it a lot more than expected.” He hand finds yours and intertwines them with yours.

“I’ll have to say... I’m surprised of my own body.” You thought out loud, feeling accomplished.

“Don’t ever ignore your own potential. It hold so much power and ability. And I’m glad that I was about to bring that out of you today. Maybe those snacks did help.” He joked as the both of you broke out into laughter. Your heart was gleaming brightly from the unending love and admiration he’s given you, making you feel absolute content.

“Maybe this can be an excuse for me to let you let loose of junk food so you can do more peck crunches.”

“Great way to ruin the moment, Min.”

[kenzieam]

The Tutor - Chapter Five

Pairing: AU Bucky X Levi

Rating: M (my usual, lovelies)

Warnings: language, drama, angst, mentions of abuse

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I KNOW I’M MISSING TAGS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT IN

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Levi the jock needs help in high school and her twin brother, Steve, volunteers his newest friend, Bucky. Seemingly just to piss her off, Bucky accepts but soon realizes there’s more to the Levi than she lets the average spectator see.

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I’m STILL an attention whore with cabin fever, I’d love to hear what you all think about my newest story, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE leave a review, my Lovelies!

************************************************************************                 Okay…. this has gone off in a new direction…. let’s go with it and….. finally….

SMUT; LOVELY, LOVELY SMUT!!!!

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“Just open it, Bucky.” Levi instructed, playful exasperation in her voice.

“I know what’s in here.” He countered, fixing Levi with a mulish look.

“Just open it.” She giggled. “Maybe it’s a pony.” Her eyes rounded in exaggeration and she tilted her head mockingly.

Bucky snorted, rolling his eyes, his fingers tightening on the small box in his hands. It was Boxing Day; Steve was over at Peggy’s, Levi’s mom was at her Christmas gift, a fancy spa getaway weekend with her even fancier friends, and Bucky was over, seated in the middle of a nest of blankets and pillows, in Levi’s family room. On the television, Bruce Willis was making ‘fists with his toes’ on the carpet at the Nakatomi Plaza and Levi was still beaming at winning the argument she and Bucky had been engaged in since he’d walked through the door earlier, about whether ‘Die Hard’ was indeed a Christmas movie and which had lasted through their entire meal of Chinese takeout.

In the crush of exams and chaos of the holidays, they hadn’t had much chance to be alone since the mall and Levi’s words to him still smouldered low in his chest. He saw the sparkle in her eyes, the smile on her face as she confirmed what his dumbfounded ears had claimed to hear every night as he fell asleep, relived her kiss in every dream and his body ached to hold her close again, today being the first real chance either of them had had to slow down in a while.

Despite his mom’s look, Bucky had shouldered a small duffel bag on his way out earlier today, hinting at the possibility of him not making it home that night, but she hadn’t said a word. It was hard to argue against it when you saw the results of Bucky’s new relationship, the ease with which he smiled now, the weight of carrying his family lighter on his shoulders now with Levi’s support and love.

“Why are you so smiley today?” Bucky’s mom asked curiously, working on breakfast for the girls, making sure the blueberries lined up properly on the surface of Sarah’s oatmeal.

Bucky paused, debating only a beat before deciding on the truth. “It’s Lev, Ma. She loves me.”

His mom froze, the strawberries for Maddy’s oatmeal dripping juice off the spoon. She seemed at a loss for words for a minute before collecting herself. “She said that?” At Bucky’s nod, she continued. “And you love her?”

Bucky nodded, meeting his mother’s eyes squarely. “I do.”

“Well,” she looked down, studying the oatmeal for a moment before raising her head again. A genuine smile grew on her lips and there might even have been the glitter of sudden tears in her eyes. “You have been floating around on a cloud for the last few days, now I know why. It’s nice to see, Bear; you had to take on a lot when your dad died, and I’ll never be able to make that up to you.”

Bucky cleared his throat, shifting his weight as he rubbed a hand over his mouth. It always hit him low in the chest and made unwanted tears threaten to fall when his mom mentioned his shouldering the burden of keeping the family running while she’d grieved.

“That’s great news, baby.” His mom added. “I’m happy for you, just remember what your father always said.”

Bucky nodded. “I will.” One of his father’s favorite lessons, and one he’d led by example, was to always treat the woman you loved like a queen, for only then could you consider yourself a king.

There had been a twinkle in his mother’s eyes every time she’d looked at him since.

“A pony,” he scoffed, shaking his head. “C’mon, Lev.”

“Just open it!” She squeaked, pounding her fists lightly on his knees as they sat cross-legged in front of each other, not hard enough to hurt but the action making his body itch for her contact again.

Sighing theatrically, Bucky tore the paper off, and, despite his recalcitrance, he couldn’t stop the excited grin that pulled at his lips when he cracked the box open and saw the not-a-surprise gift within. “Lev, I…”

“You deserve it, Bucky. You help so many people; your mom, your sisters, me. I know you say it’s too much, but I wanted to give you this; I know you’d never spoil yourself, so I did.”

Bucky sighed, her words warming his chest, making the pill easier to swallow. “Thank you, baby.” He leaned forwards, capturing the back of Levi’s head with his hand and pulling her close for a kiss. “It’s really sweet of you.” He strapped the watch to his wrist and gazed down at it, grinning widely. It did look amazing. “Here,” he picked up the large box he’d brought with him, passing it to her. “Your turn.” A frisson of excitement shivered up his spine. While he’d never be able to match the monetary level of her gift, he hoped the thought behind it would make up for it.

“What is it?”

“A pony. Just open it.” He teased, laughing when Levi stuck her tongue out and commenced tearing the paper.

Pushing the torn wrapping aside, Levi lifted the lid and stared down at the contents. The lid dropped from suddenly boneless fingers and she gasped, one hand clapping over her mouth while the other reached to brush wonderingly over the gift. Her stunned gaze lifted to Bucky’s, tears filling her eyes and overflowing down her cheeks as her face crumpled.

“Bucky,” she whimpered. “Oh my god… thank you.”

Although he’d hoped for a happy reaction, Levi’s tears were still surprising. “Lev? Are you okay? I remember you mentioned around Halloween how you wanted to find one, I thought you’d be happy-”

“I am. God, Bucky, I am.” Her voice broke as she reached in, pulling out a large leather messenger bag. It was a dark coffee color, faded to a thick caramel at heavy wear points. The leather creaked and flexed under her hands, releasing the wonderful smells of conditioner and saddle soap and Levi pulled it to her face, inhaling deeply even as she started crying harder.

Bucky scooted closer, concerned now and gripped her knee. “Lev?”

Lev set the bag aside and lunged at Bucky, straddling his thighs and wrapping her arms around him, squeezing the breath from his body. Sobs made her shake against his chest and her tears made wet trails on his neck, soaking into his shirt.

“Lev?” He rubbed her back, pulse beginning to speed up in concern, reaching up to cradle her face when she finally pulled far enough away to meet his eyes.

Lev took a deep breath, managing a wet smile as Bucky thumbed away her tears, forehead furrowed, and lips pursed in worry. He tilted his head to regard her. “You said you wanted one of these… I didn’t want to make you cry-”

“No, it’s okay.” Levi sniffled, leaning forwards to kiss him, her tears making it taste salty. She leaned back again and cleared her throat. “I did want one, ever since I was a kid, but I could never find one that was just right.” She took a deep breath, and the smile she gave Bucky was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Her hand reached over to caress the bag and draw it closer to herself. “My dad had a bag like this, exactly like this. I loved it when he’d come home at night and let me carry it in the house. Sometimes he’d lift the top flap and there’d be a treat or small gift for Steve and me inside. This smell, good leather, is what I remember my dad smelling like. After he died, Mom went through his stuff and gave everything away, I’ve been trying to find one like it since then. Where did you find it?”

Bucky smiled, teary himself now at Levi’s story. “At a… a junk shop a few years ago. I was going to use it for myself but never did. When you mentioned wanting one, I dug it again and started restoring it. It was dried out and pretty rough, I used a lot of saddle soap and leather conditioner to get it back.”

“A lot of time too.” Levi stated quietly.

“Yeah, you’re worth every hour, every minute I spent on it.”

“Thank you.” She whispered. “This is the best thing I’ve ever been given.” She reached up, trailed along Bucky’s jawline with her fingers, smiling when he leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.

“I knew I’d never be able to get you something expensive-” He began, his voice husky.

Levi clasped his face and his eyes fluttered open. “This is better,” she whispered. “This means you listen to me and you’re willing to spend time on me. You and Steve are the only two people who give a shit about me, you know.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“My sisters love you, your mom…” he trailed off, because Lev’s mom had married a monster and turned a blind eye to years of abuse for her own selfishness.

Lev smiled wetly, understanding why Bucky stopped. “It’s okay, family is who you choose, nothing else. I choose you.” She cleared her throat, audibly and obviously changing the subject. “I have something else to give you.” She murmured, tracing the cleft in his chin, a special touch that was only theirs.

“Oh?”

Biting her lip, Levi rolled her hips against him, grinning when Bucky choked on a gasp, eyes going wide.

“You haven’t been keeping up with your studies, young man.” She teased, meeting his dumbfounded gaze demurely, tracing the hammer of his pulse in his throat. “I’m the tutor now, remember?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Bucky murmured, hissing as Levi ground down again. His hands dropped down to her hips, gripping tightly.

Levi pulled away, pushing off Bucky’s lap and giggling at the pout that instantly came over his expression. Rising onto her knees, Levi pushed deliberately at Bucky’s chest and he let himself be tipped onto his back. She rose above him, his hands instinctively moved to grip her waist, lead her to straddle his hips again and he bit his bottom lip as he gazed up into her face. Levi seemed to consider him a moment before a languidness softened her eyes and she rested her hands on his chest, curling her fingers in his t-shirt for a second before rucking them under the hem, her palms brushing his abs and sending electric shock through his torso.

Bucky inhaled sharply, hips bucking involuntarily beneath her and his lips parted as his breath grew heavy. Levi could feel his heart pounding beneath her palms as she smiled wickedly, pushing the front of his shirt up under his chin to expose his heaving chest.

“I haven’t had a chance to teach you anything yet.” She teased, her fingertip tracing around one of his nipples. Bucky bit back a moan, his jeans growing unbearably tight. He rocked his hips up unconsciously, as much as he could, brushing the evidence of his arousal against Levi’s core and she gasped, eyelids fluttering shut. She rolled back, grinding down and Bucky moaned brokenly; his heart hammered under her hands, blood singing in his veins and he wanted nothing more in that instance than to feel Levi sheathed around him, to drive up into her heat and feel himself come apart inside her.

“Baby, I-” words left him as Levi’s nails scratched lightly across his chest and abs, provoking goosebumps and a full-body shiver.

“Do you want me, Bucky?”

He didn’t miss the uncertainty in her voice, the brief waver of low self-esteem that she usually hid so well. “God, baby. I do,” he pulled her down to grind on his cock again, reaching up with one hand to cup the back of her head and draw her down for a kiss. “You’re so fucking hot.” He whispered.

“What do you want?” Levi murmured.

“I want to taste you.” He breathed. Holding her gaze, he trailed a fingertip along her waistband, popping the button of her jeans. “I want to see if you taste as good as I’ve dreamed.”

“Go ahead and find out.” She whispered huskily.

Gripping her hips, Bucky rolled, trapping Levi beneath him. His experience with girls was laughably weak but, with Lev, that didn’t matter. His body was taking over, Levi’s acceptance and acquiescence giving him the confidence to follow it.

She trusted him.

Pushing her shirt up, Bucky kissed her belly then drew her top the rest of the way off. His fingers fumbled with her bra straps, until Levi giggled and sat up, reaching back to do it herself, gazing boldly into his eyes as she flicked it away.

Bucky swallowed hard, his fantasies regarding this never matching up to the real thing. Wonderingly, tenderly, he caressed her breasts, bending forwards to follow Levi as she lay back beneath him. Her fingers coiled in his hair, tugging gently as he kissed first one breast than its twin, then he drew one nipple into his mouth, sucking it into a peak. His hand cupped the other, marvelling at the softness of her skin and, emboldened by her moans, he switched sides; listening for the rewarding sounds she made in response, giving him wordless instruction of what to do. His fingers traveled down her body as his mouth was occupied and he pulled at her jeans, drawing them down her shapely hips. Reluctantly, he left the bounty of her breasts and trailed downwards, leaving open-mouthed kisses in his wake until he reached the ribbon edge of her underwear.

Exhaling heavy, panting breaths through parted lips, a tsunami of emotions and sensations crashed through his body. This was real and it was going to happen, the fantasy of Levi made his finally and no doubt it would far and away exceed any of his dreams.

“Lev,” he whispered in reverence, her skin goose bumping under his breath. Looking up at her, he touched the ribbon edge, his fingers trembling slightly with anticipation and nerves. Levi’s eyes softened, giving him permission and he exhaled raggedly before focussing on the apex of her thighs, revealed as he pulled her underwear down.

“Brazilian?” he murmured, closing his eyes as he pressed a light, tentative kiss to her lower stomach; the fleeting and completely unexpected thought that that would be where their children would one day grow flitting through his mind and back out again before he could be shocked enough about it to pull back and analyze it too closely.

“I like how it feels.” Levi murmured back, lifting her hips slightly as she curled her fingers into his hair, gently guiding him lower.

Bucky didn’t care how Levi preferred to groom herself, it was entirely her choice and a little body hair would not put him off but he couldn’t deny the way her bare state allowed him to see her arousal glistening on her skin, letting him know that he was on the right track and he gave her another kiss, lower this time before daring an experimental lick.

Her taste exploded on his tongue, a sweet tang, and he couldn’t stop a groan. Fuck, was this what it was like, how did people ever get anything done if this heaven was available? Ecstasy on his taste buds, he hoped distantly that Lev liked this as much as him, because this was definitely something he wanted to do on the regular.

Her moan registered in his ears only belatedly and an instinct newly awakened took over his grasping hands. Pushing her thighs further apart he dove in, licking and laving and kissing, sucking along her folds with hungry little groans and growls of pleasure. To hear Levi above him, to feel her fingers coil tightly in his hair and sense her writhing beneath him was an ultimate high and he wondered dimly if he would even survive driving his cock inside her.

Levi convulsed beneath his mouth, her orgasm crashing over her as her hand yanked roughly at his hair, trying to pull him away from her hypersensitive skin and she gasped, jerking once more when Bucky gave her one last worshiping lav with his tongue, feeling like he’d just ran a race, heart hammering in his chest. His cock was painfully pressed to his zipper, throbbing with desperation and he ground against the blankets beneath him for relief as he met Levi’s eyes, almost laughing out loud at the look on her face.

“Shit Bucky…. Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” She panted, dazed.

“Never.” He grinned, riding an amazing high at the thought of pleasing her so thoroughly, nipping at her inner thigh with a snicker, loving the little squeal he earned.

“Oh my god,” she wheezed, still breathless and Bucky crawled up her body, wanting her lips again, lust crashing through him like a tsunami when Levi grabbed him, crushing their mouths together, heedless of her essence still glistening on his face and kissed him with head-spinning desire.

“Ready?” She whispered, pulling her mouth away, panting for breath. Her fingers tickled along his waistband.

Bucky pressed his forehead to hers, chest heaving, balancing on his forearms on either side of Levi’s head.

This was it.

“Yes.” He whispered; eyes locked with hers. He felt her pop his button, pull the zipper down then slide her hand inside. He jolted, hissing through clenched teeth when she cupped him over his boxer briefs, rubbing gently and his eyes squeezed shut, muscles locked as pleasure like he’d never felt before crashed over him. The other two times he’d been with girls, it had been squirming, awkward affairs in the dark, trying to keep from getting his truck’s gear shift rammed in an impolite location and over almost before it had even begun.

“Fuck,” he gasped, not even in control of his mouth right now. “Jesus baby, I need-…  Aw fuck.” His hips rolled in Levi’s hand and she hummed low in her throat, a soothing sound for his beast. “I want…. Inside you-”

“I want you too,” Levi breathed. “But I want to taste you first-”

“Fuck baby,” Bucky ground out. “I couldn’t take that right now; I want to feel you… m’sorry.” The only blowjob he’d ever been on the receiving end of was from a girl who’d either been as completely clueless as him as what to do or they were nothing like guys made them out to be. Either way, Levi’s touch would be too much to handle and he wanted his first time with her to be inside her.

“Don’t apologize for enthusiasm,” Levi giggled. “But Bucky-���

Her tone drew his attention and he bit back a groan. Levi’s hand mercifully paused in its ministrations so he could focus on her words.

Faint pink colored her cheeks. “I should have brought this up sooner,” she murmured regretfully. Her eyes met his. “What about condoms?”

Bucky groaned. He’d packed a small box, teasing himself the whole time for being an overeager dog, but they were safe in his duffel and nowhere near his clenched fists right now.

“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean.” Levi continued. “And I know you are.” She hesitated, and when she continued there was a defensive air to her words, as if she’d been accused in the past of lying. “I react to latex, not all the time but I sometimes get really itchy.” She searched Bucky’s eyes for scorn or disbelief and relaxed slightly when she found none. “If you’re comfortable not using any, I am too.”

Bucky took a moment to process her words. Be bare inside her, when he could hardly hold back from exploding from her mere touch? Fumbling with protection and snapping his tender skin once before had been a definite boner-kill and Bucky didn’t want to relive anything like that again. He’d definitely embarrass himself, but Levi wouldn’t judge him. The thought of making love to Levi, and that’s absolutely what this was, although fumbling and shambolic there was no impersonal fucking here, without any barriers made his blood sing.

“Yes,” he whispered, lowering his head to press a series of gentle kisses along her forehead and down her nose before taking her mouth again. “If you’re sure.”

“I am.” Levi breathed, lifting her gaze to meet his questioning eyes.

“Don’t judge me,” Bucky grinned, pushing and squirming to fully kick off his jeans before settling back down between Levi’s thighs. “What I’m about to do is no indication of what I’m really capable of.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment.” Levi giggled and Bucky relaxed with her words. Although almost wholly inexperienced, even he knew that acceptance and humor in such a compromising and vulnerable position was golden.

Bucky held his breath, fists clenched as Levi gently helped guide him to her. He hissed as she rubbed his swollen head through her folds, collecting her slick then almost whimpered as he pushed past her fingers, the tip suddenly encased in her heat.

“Good boy,” Levi whispered, voice strained. “You’re fucking huge, Bucky. Did you know that?”

“I am?” Bucky panted. He knew he wasn’t little, but huge?

“Biggest I’ve ever had.” Levi murmured, then blushed. “Not that I’ve had that many-”

He cut her off with a kiss. She had more experience than him sure, but Bucky knew that Levi had never sold herself cheap either. His hips surged forwards, completely on instinct, driving into her and Levi arched beneath him, moaning as Bucky gasped a groan, pleasure threatening to completely overwhelm him.

Fuck, this was absolute heaven. He was never leaving. If he’d known the ecstasy waiting for him between a woman’s legs, he would have definitely tried it more often, but at the same time, this was so blissful because it was Levi beneath him and, to experience this with her, he would have waited forever. She tilted her hips and he slid fully inside, bottoming out and he sucked in air like a dying man given salvation, dropping his head to the crook of her neck as his frantic body took over, thrusting into her again and again, a hard rhythm that was going to finish him off all too soon, but Jesus God did she feel good.

Lev murmured to him, one hand curled into the soft stands at the nape of his neck, the other scratching across his back. He tried to obey her gentle commands, tried to slow down but it was near impossible, his body rushing headlong into heavenly release. One hand reached back, gripping Levi’s thigh and drawing it up to his hip and then he hooked his arm around it, spreading her wider for him.

“Touch me, Bucky.” She whispered tenderly. “Help me catch up, baby.”

He groaned an answer, past words and not fully comprehending what she meant.

“Like this.” She took his free hand, the one not hooked around her leg and pressed down into the blankets, supporting his weight, and guided it between them. He felt her wetness, her slippery folds, felt where his cock drove into her, where they were so viscerally connected and understood. His thumb found her clit and began to circle it.

With something else to focus on now, he was able to slow down enough to control himself and he raised his head to gaze into Levi’s eyes, his hair sweat-dampened and hanging in messy waves. She stared back up, her violet eyes boring into his, a window open to her soul. Pleasure darkened her iris’ to amethyst and her lips parted as she moaned his name.

“Right there, oh god…. Right there, Bucky.” Her hands cradled his face as her climax crashed over her, and Bucky watched her greedily, hissing a breath as he felt her walls tighten around him, steadily spasming and then it was too much and he surrendered, giving into his release with a strangled yell, squeezing his eyes shut and slamming one last time inside before letting go, the throbbing of his cock almost painful as he spilled into her.

Levi arched beneath him, crying out with each jet Bucky pulsed inside her, her pleasure infinity looping into Bucky’s, his orgasm triggering another longer, stronger one of hers, which in turn milked him almost to the point of pain.

Finally, it crested and Bucky’s screaming muscles, locked down in the throes of his release, went slack and he couldn’t stop from collapsing on Levi, panting open-mouthed gasps as his body shuddered with aftershocks. Levi trembled beneath him, just as undone, her breath sweet on his temple as she turned her head to kiss him where he had buried his head in the crook of her neck, almost in tears at the emotions and sensations that crashed through him.

He had precious little experience to go on, but Bucky knew this, at the very basement of his soul; what they’d just shared was special, a once in a lifetime connection and he would never, if he lived to be a hundred and slept with thousands of other women, be able to duplicate it with anyone else.

Levi hummed softly, stroking his hair as if she sensed the depth of his thoughts right now, as if she could hear the revelation crashing through his soul and mind and he lifted his head, capturing her mouth in a kiss that held a tinge of desperation, then relief when the passion that had spurred it rushed back in again.

“Thank you.” He whispered, nuzzling back into her nape. What could have been awkward and uncomfortable had instead been sheer beauty.

“I wish,” Levi began, then swallowed and continued. “I wish you’d been my first.”

“Me too.” Bucky breathed. “None of them count anymore, for either of us. It’s just you and me, together.”

“Yes,” Levi replied dreamily, her fingers trailing light magic across his shoulders.

Still inside her, still half-hard, Bucky felt a surge of renewed energy. He wasn’t done, not by a long shot and he hoped Levi wasn’t either. Experimentally, he rolled his hips gently, pushing further into her and lifted his head to search her face.

She grinned lazily up at him, rocking her hips in response, her grin widening when Bucky bit back a strangled groan, hardening instantly, almost painfully inside her again. “You want more?” She teased.

“I want you.”

“Want to try something else?”

“Teacher, teach me.” His eyes crinkled at the corners as Levi laughed out loud then she hooked her leg around him and twisted, in a move that would make any high school wrestling coach proud, pivoting their joined bodies in one fluid motion so Bucky was suddenly on his back beneath her and Levi straddled his hips, him still buried inside her.

“Whoa.” He chuckled, gripping her hips. It devolved into a primal groan as Levi rolled her hips, her hands splayed on his chest. “I like this already.”

Levi rolled her eyes and grabbed his hands, pushing them up above his head so she leaned over him, their faces inches apart and rocked her body sinuously, dancing above him and all coherent thought left him as pure pleasure took its place, jolts of ecstasy skittering through his limbs.

“Lev….” He moaned, rapidly losing himself in sensations, drowning in bliss, eyes rolling shut.

Letting go of his hands, Levi sat back upright and Bucky opened his eyes for a moment; but then Lev pressed her hands to his chest and started to roll her hips and he was lost again, arching his head back into the pillows as he groaned, lids fluttering shut again.

“Fuck, I-” Lifting his hands from above his head, Bucky grabbed Levi’s hips and started to rock them, guided by some animal instinct and his body tensed below hers, ready to explode again.

“Bucky…” Lev’s voice was dreamy and slow, languid with pleasure and he forced through his haze of bliss to see her. His heart, already thundering like a racehorse, damn near exploded as he saw Levi bit her bottom lip seductively then trail a hand down her glistening body to where they joined. His breath caught in his chest as she scratched her nails lightly across his straining lower belly, sweat caught in the fine hairs leading down his cock and a low growl of appreciation and encouragement, really the only sounds he was capable of right now, certainly not words, as she started to rub her clit; hissing when her walls tightened suddenly around him then he was clutching her bruisingly tight and thrusting upwards, holding her down for maximum penetration.

Levi arched above him with a scream, her orgasm hitting like a freight train, walls clamping down on his cock and it was suddenly too much, and Bucky could only surrender, letting the waves of his climax crash over him. The most beautiful pain, raw release and throbbing pleasure, a deep guttural groan as he spilled inside her, feeling each jet of seed until he filled her, and it seeped back out to coat them.

With a whimpering sound, Levi collapsed onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, bowing into her and burying his face in her throat as the last clenches of their shared release faded. Muscles shaking and trembling, weak-limbed with exertion, Bucky felt any residual tension leave him and he lay boneless beneath Levi, still holding her to his chest like the purest treasure. She melted against him, languid and soft, breath feathering over his skin, goose bumping it and Bucky could only manage to mumble a few words before sleep claimed them both.

“I love you.”

*************************************************************

“Did you hear back yet from anywhere?” Bucky asked, looking up from a pile of homework as Levi entered his bedroom, slinging her messenger bag onto her favored beanbag chair.

“Yeah,” Levi answered, but there was a vagueness in her voice that caught his attention.

In the months since Christmas, they had only strengthened together. Study sessions continued but they usually devolved into making love, their bodies familiar to each other now, knowing the special places and touches to make the other shudder in ecstasy. They were inseparable, attached at the hip, Bucky’s arm a permanent fixture around Levi’s waist or shoulders when they weren’t required to be apart during classes. It became a normal sight to see them studying together, Levi in Bucky’s lap or seated directly in front of him, reading from the same book, Bucky wrapped around Levi, his head resting on her shoulder and looking completely at home.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked, forgetting the assignment that had had his attention just a few seconds ago. “Lev?”

With a sigh, Lev reluctantly met his gaze. “I got in.”

“Where?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Both.”

Bucky fell silent, his worst nightmare coming true.

Lev snorted, an angry sound. “I only applied to say I could. I never expected to get in without an Athletic scholarship.”

“But that was your dream,” Bucky replied. “You and Steve far away from Brock.”

Lev sighed and raked a hand through her hair. “Yeah, before. I don’t need to leave now; I don’t need that scholarship.”

Lev had quit all her sports teams after Brock’s death. Although naturally talented like her brother, Levi had never enjoyed sports like Steve had, had pursued it only for the scholarship chances it offered.

“But… they have one of the best Architecture programs too. That’s what you want to do now, right?” Bucky was hesitant, the reason for Lev’s distress tickling at the corners of his mind, but he didn’t want to face it anymore than she did right now.

“So?” The petulance was back, hints of the princess she’d once been.

“So… that’s your dream, to be an Architect.”

Levi shook her head. “I want to be with you.”

Bucky fell silent, the elephant in the room finally uncovered. He was attending a local college, had already been accepted. It was necessary, he needed to stay home to help his mom, to watch his sisters; they weren’t ready yet, weren’t stable enough yet after his father’s death for him to go far away. Levi had applied there too, for general studies and, for a lark, never expecting a positive response, to the same university Steve had just received a full boat Athletic scholarship from. Without the promise of her athletic capabilities, she’d not expected good news, it had been more of a ‘I did it to say that I did’ kind of situation and, for a time, while the applications hovered in limbo, Bucky had allowed himself to indulge in fantasies of the two of them together, attending college and perfect in a little bubble of-

“What the fuck am I going to do, Bucky?” Lev’s voice broke into his thoughts and he unconsciously stood and moved to her side, sank down to pull her to him because she was crying, and it rocked the very bedrock of his soul to hear her distressed.

She sniffled, letting out a shaky sigh as Bucky pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I know, First World Problems, right? If that fucker was still alive, I’d been dancing on the ceiling for the chance to get away from him but now… I don’t need to leave; I don’t want to-”

“You have to.” The words burned, sliced his throat as they passed but he closed his eyes and forced them out, because they needed to be said.

“Bucky-”

“No. Lev, you need to go. It’s too good of an opportunity to pass up.”

“What are you talking-”

Bucky forced himself to continue, despite the growing pain in his chest. “This is your dream, Lev. Architecture. With Brock gone you can actually pursue it. You need to go.”

“No.” Levi’s voice held a hard edge. “I’m not leaving you.”

“There’s no architecture programs here, you’d be putting yourself back years-”

“So?!”

“SO, I CAN’T LET YOU THROW THIS CHANCE AWAY!” Tears burned hot in Bucky’s eyes and he gritted his teeth. “I have to stay, you don’t.”

“I love you, Bucky.” There was a crack in her voice now.

“I love you, too baby. So much it hurts… enough to let you go.” Indescribable pain hit him then, so he could barely focus as Levi suddenly leapt to her feet, whirling to face him. Tears flowed down her flushed cheeks and she looked crushed. She tried to speak but could only choke out a sob, pressing the flat of her fist to her mouth and squeezing her eyes shut. Bucky stumbled to his feet, reaching for her. Levi took a step back, eyes opening to glare at him. Betrayal shone in their violet depths. We were supposed to be in this together, they accused. I thought you had my back.

I do, Bucky replied silently, letting the tears fall. That’s why I’m pushing you now. For you.

Levi’s face contorted, but no words came and she whirled suddenly, disappearing out the door; seconds later, he heard the front door slam and he exhaled a tremulous breath, feeling as lost as he had when the Sheriff had knocked on their door almost three years ago, hat in hand, to tell them that George James Barnes was never coming home.

************************************************************************

“Jesus, what the hell did you say to her last night?” Steve asked the next morning.

Bucky’s numerous texts and phone calls had gone unanswered, and only Steve had shown up for school today, zeroing in on Bucky like a Patriot missile; knowing that, where his sister was involved, there was definitely more to the story.

Bucky sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair, messing up the waves. “Levi got accepted to both schools.”

“And?” Steve asked, puzzled. “I mean, that’s great, but why does that have her-”

“She wants to stay here, with me… and I told her to go, with you.”

Steve went pale as the realization set in. Bucky could hear the gears turning in his head and he waited silently, waiting for Steve to say what hurt too badly for him to say himself.

“She won’t become an Architect if she stays…. I mean, she would, eventually but-”

“She’d essentially be giving up her dream, when she actually has a chance to achieve it. If she stays here, its General Studies and then what? She needs to go, Steve, you know it too. They’re one of the best programs, it’s not even a question.”

“But what about you?”

“What about me?”

“You love her, she loves you-”

Jesus, was this a Roger’s thing? A purposeful blindness to practicality? “That isn’t the point!” Bucky bit his lip, fighting sudden tears, thankful that he’d seen the big blond hulk coming and moved to a quiet corner of the quad, where no one would hopefully see his breakdown. “The point is her dream. She has the opportunity now to go for it. I don’t have the right to hold her back, I don’t want to hold her back.”

“Is it though?” Steve asked quietly.

“Is it what?”

“Holding her back?”

“What? Me?”

“Love.” Steve replied. “She’s alive again Bucky, since she met you. Brock nearly killed her and there was only so much I could do to help. She needs you.”

“I’ll still be here, when she gets back.”

Steve sighed, shoulders sagging.

“This isn’t a fairy-tale, man. You know same as me, shit happens. Sometimes you need to do things because it’s right, not because it’s what you want. I don’t want Levi to go but it’s her dream and I can’t stand in her way.”

Steve was silent for so long Bucky began to wonder if he was even going to say anything, but then he sighed again, like the weight of the world was on him, and Bucky knew exactly what that felt like.

“I see where you’re coming from.” He muttered.

“And you know I’m right.” Bucky said curtly.

“Doesn’t make it easy.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“You really love her, huh?”

“More than anything else.”

“More than your own happiness.”

“Yes.” The confession hung heavy in the air, collecting the torment in Bucky’s voice and growing heavier still.

Steve exhaled hard, scrubbing at his crew cut and looked around for inspiration, or maybe just to avoid the sorrow in Bucky’s eyes. “I’ll explain this to her but man, you know as well as I do, Lev does her own thing.”

“I do. But she listens to you, Steve. If you tell her to go, she’ll do it.”

Steve fixed Bucky with a piercing look, enough that Bucky felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny and shifted his feet, wanting to look away. “I’ll talk to her tonight.”

“Thank you.”

Steve nodded, then slapped Bucky’s shoulder and strode away.

**************************************************************************

“You’re too damn practical, you know that, Barnes?” Levi snarked, stepping through the bedroom door.

Bucky stood and all but launched himself at her, her scowl not deterring him in the slightest. She stood rigidly in his embrace for a moment, then sighed and relaxed against him, clinging with a sudden desperation.

“I don’t want to leave you.” She whispered.

“You aren’t.” Bucky murmured back, pressing a kiss to her temple. “We’ll call each other night, Skype whenever we can… and you’ll be back on holidays and breaks.”

“It won’t be the same.” She sniffled, rubbing her nose on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Hey,” he breathed. Lifting his head, he cradled her face and tipped it back to meet his eyes. Tears streamed down her cheeks but there was new resolve in her amethyst gaze. “I’ll be here, this isn’t the end.” Holding her gaze, fighting his own tears, Bucky brushed hers away with his thumbs and forced a smile.

He did the same a few months later in the airport terminal, just as the final boarding call sounded and Steve stood a few feet away, waiting for Levi to join him.

“Go,” Bucky whispered, thumbs soft on her cheeks. She gripped his wrists with heartbreaking desperation. “I’ll be here. Remember…  I love you, always.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, gazed steadily at her as Levi pulled reluctantly away, moved to join her brother, shouldering her messenger bag and turned, disappearing through the doors to the jetway.

Only then did Bucky let the tears fall.

[august-anon]

Calorie Counting

Apparently me being grumpy about calorie counting/working out and wanting to eat sugary junk food when I shouldn’t results in fics about it lol. But yes, because of that there are warnings

Warnings: Body image issues, food mention, weight issues, discussion of weight loss, worries about unhealthy methods of weight loss

Word Count: 1494

Pairing/Ship: Gen Royality but can be read as romantic if you want

Summary: Roman is struggling with his new system of trying to lose weight. Luckily, Patton is always there for him.

THIS IS A TICKLE FIC

[ao3 link]

---------------------------------------

Roman let out a loud sigh as he opened his calorie app for the eighth time since he logged his lunch less than an hour ago. This was way harder than he thought it was going to be. He paced around the living room for a few minutes (and absently wondered if he could count that as exercise in his app).

He paced into the kitchen (bad choice) and stopped in his tracks, staring forlornly at the fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies on the cooling rack. Roman left as quickly as he came, collapsing on the couch. He winced as he jostled one of the cats, making Lion let out an annoyed mrow!

“Sorry, buddy,” Roman muttered, pulling the cat on top of him and smiling as Lion quickly settled back in for his nap. “At least this stomach’s good for something, huh?”

“Roman!” A voice chastised from behind him.

Roman sighed again, turning his head to look at Patton, standing behind the couch. “I didn’t mean it like that, Pat.”

Patton rounded the couch, arms crossed and a stern look on his face. “Then how did you mean it?”

Roman buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know honestly.”

He heard Patton huff and the warmth of Lion was suddenly removed from his torso. He looked up to see Patton putting Lion up on the cat tower with two of their other feline friends.

“Roman,” Patton said, sitting on the couch next to him, “when you started this, you promised you’d be careful. We all knew a weight loss system like this could be dangerous for you, but you promised you wouldn’t get obsessive or start bad habits.”

“Watching my weight go up over thirty pounds since we graduated and not having the energy to do anything about it for over a year makes it kind of hard not to be,” Roman snapped.

“Roman Prince, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your weight or body type!”

Roman groaned. “I know, but--”

Patton gave him a hard look. “Do you know?’

“... I don’t know.”

Patton immediately softened. “Well I know. And I also know that none of us would have even noticed if you hadn’t brought it up. And I know that none of us care.”

“But I noticed and I care.”

Patton sighed, curling up into Roman’s side. “I know that, too. And working out and watching what you eat to try and lose that weight is admirable, but you can’t let this rule your life, either. You still deserve to enjoy yourself and eat the things you love.”

“I don’t want to go over--”

“It’s okay. I’m not saying that you have to or that you should, but I’m also saying that you shouldn’t go to bed starving.”

Roman leaned into Patton. “I feel like it’s not even making a difference.”

“You’re barely more than a week into this new system, it’s going to take some time to do this in a healthy way. But you need to stop being so obsessive. I mean, goodness sake, Roman, you check that app at least six times a minute! There’s a reason Virgil won’t let us buy a scale for the house.”

Roman frowned deeply. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

Patton started running his fingers through Roman’s hair, obviously trying to get him to relax. “If you want to keep going with this, we all support you, but you also need to be careful that you’re eating enough and not going hungry, no matter what your app says about your calories.”

Roman nodded, snuggling deeper into Patton’s hold. They cuddled for some long minutes before Roman felt Patton shift.

“Did you know,” Patton started, “that ten to fifteen minutes of laughter can burn around ten to forty extra calories a day?”

Roman gave him a confused look. “Uh, no, I didn’t. You taking Logan’s place as the brainiac, now?”

Patton laughed lightly. “No, but, your app lets you eat more calories if you burn some working out, right?”

“Yeah? But I already worked out today.”

“Well, yeah, but I think you’ve been frowning far too much lately, and, if laughter burns calories,” Patton shoved him down on the couch and climbed on top of him. “I think there’s something we can do about that!”

Roman started smiling nervously. “Pat, wait--”

Patton paused, raising an eyebrow with a teasing smirk. “Wait for what?”

Roman sputtered for a moment before giving in. “I don’t know!”

Patton laughed again. “You’re saying that a lot today, huh?”

“Well--” Roman started, but cut himself off with a choked laugh as Patton started squeezing his hips.

“Don’t you worry, because I know!” Patton chirped as his fingers skittered up Roman’s sides to scribble at his ribs. “And I know that you love this!”

Roman felt his face heat up. “No I don’t!” He shrieked through his laughter, half-heartedly trying to push Patton hands away but too weak from the tickling to do anything real.

Patton started tapping out a rhythm on Roman’s ribs and he started trying to roll off the couch. He was held in place by Patton’s weight still across his thighs and hips.

“Aww, don’t worry, Roman!” Patton cooed. “You can’t get away that easy, I’ll make sure we make up for all those laughs and smiles you’ve been missing out on!”

“Patton, please!”

“Please what? Pleeaase go for your worst spot? Sure thing, kiddo!”

“Nononononono--AH!” Roman cried out and fell into frantic cackling as Patton started scratching at his armpits.

“Aren’t you so cute with that big grin!” Patton grinned himself as he dug in deeper to Roman’s underarms.

Roman shrieked again, laughter going silent, and thrashed so hard that the two of them fell off the couch. Patton laughed as they landed on the carpet.

“Look at how strong you’re getting!” Patton praised, climbing back on top of Roman. “Look at all those muscles! You’re doing so good working out!”

Roman covered his face in embarrassment (and to hide his massive grin from the compliments). “Patton!”

“Let’s see what all those sit ups have accomplished!”

Patton began squeezing and kneading Roman’s stomach. Roman burst back into laughter, squirming under Patton’s hands. He reached down to grip Patton’s hands but made no moves to actually stop him.

“Cootchie coo, Ro-Ro! Listen to that sweet laughter! And look at those strong abs, just feel them!”

Patton squeezed with more purpose and Roman tossed back his head, snorting with how hard he was laughing.

“What a cute little piggy, I could just eat you up!”

“Pat, no!” Roman shrieked.

Patton leaned down and pretended to gnaw on his stomach, making ridiculous “om nom nom!” noises all the while. He blew a few tiny raspberries across Roman’s stomach before sitting back up.

“Adorable! What a big, strong man!” Patton cooed. “All this thrashing around and laughing, what an intense workout! You’re gonna be able to eat so many sweets!”

“Patton, please!”

“Please what?”

Roman shrieked yet again and broke into a fresh wave of laughter as Patton reached behind him and started squeezing Roman’s thighs. “Don’t tease!”

“Aww, but it’s so fun! I just love to tickle tickle tickle you! And these strong thighs from all those squats and lunges! Feel all those ticklish muscles! Such good legs, keeping you standing and walking!”

“Enough!” Roman howled through his wheezing laughter. “Enough!”

Patton immediately stopped, giggling along with Roman’s residual laughter.

“Oh my goodness, Pat,” Roman giggled, chest heaving.

Patton slid off him, checking his watch. “Fifteen minutes, Ro-Ro! Add that to your little app!”

Roman chuckled, curling up on his side. “How would I even add that in?”

Patton ruffled his hair and stood. “You’ll just have to remember and keep track, then!

Roman closed his eyes and recovered for another minute or two while Patton walked away. Eventually, Roman picked himself up off the ground with shaking muscles and made his way back onto the couch.

Moments later, Patton returned with two glasses of milk and a small plate with four fresh cookies.

“They’re still warm,” Patton sang. “And you don’t even have to count them on your app if you don’t want. Cheating a little won’t ruin everything!”

Roman shot the plate a nervous look, despite the watering of his mouth. “I dunno, Pat.”

“Oh, come on! Two for you, two for me. And if we want any before those cookie monsters Virgil and Logan get home and eat them all, we’d better do it now.”

Roman gave in and relaxed into the couch with a smile as Patton sat down and cuddled up to him. Patton passed him one of the glasses of milk and gave him a giant grin.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt that much,” Roman said. “Wanna watch some Disney?”

Patton giggled. “Is that even a question?”

Roman grinned and bit into a warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie, humming with delight. Yeah, he was going to be just fine.

[rosesfromcth]

HoneyedHood Birthday Celebration

So yesterday, May 12, was Brinkley’s ( @honeyedhood ) 19th birthday. And I told her I would write her a fic bc I wanted to and I suck bc i procrastinated and took so long to get it done bc i am a procrastinator. But I love Brinkley with my whole damn heart and she deserves the whole damn world and calum hood could be so lucky to love her and to be loved by her. Without further ado, here you have it and i am sorry for any typos or mistakes. 

You groaned as your alarm went off from the nightstand on your side of the bed. Flipping onto your side, your hand fumbles its way to the silence button.

Slowly, you rolled up in to a sitting position, careful to not wake your sleeping boyfriend. After stretching out, you slide your feet into your favorite slippers that are lying on the side of your bed and pad over to the joint master bathroom where you turn the shower on to hot. You hop in and try to shower as quickly as possible as you had slept in a bit longer than usual.

After hopping out of the shower and drying off, you slip into your robe and head to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.  You wait for it to finish brewing and make two pieces of toast before pouring two mugs of coffee to go with it. You carefully bring both ‘meals’ into the bedroom and set Calum’s on his night stand for when he wakes up. After munching on your toast, you decided to pull some music up to play softly while you do you get ready. Youngblood is what plays through the speakers as you apply makeup, softly brushing on some blush and a light coat of mascara. Being in a kitchen all day makes it pointless for you to do a full face of makeup as it normally will sweat off so you like to keep it light.

Calum slowly wakes up and chuckles at your music choice. You turn and smile at him when you hear his laugh.

“Morning, baby.” He calls gently as he reaches for his coffee cup. This has become your morning routine for when he is on tour. You normally sleep in pretty late since do you don’t go to work till around noon, Calum likes that. He like staying in bed with you all morning and cuddling. But when you work, you’ll wake up and make coffee and some light breakfast for the two of you and start to get ready until he slowly wakes himself up to the smell of coffee and whatever show or music you are listening to. Then you’ll talk quietly as he continues to wake up, or you’ll just do your thing in silence while he watches you.

You walk over and press a kiss to his lips to greet him but his arms quickly snake around your waist and pull you onto his lap.

“Bee, Do you have to go into work today?” Calum whines as he presses kisses to your forehead and cheeks. He had just gotten home from tour that past Saturday and while you’d spent all of Sunday together it didn’t seem to be enough. “Please stay home with me. I missed you.”

He pulls you back into a kiss and your hands find their way to his neck and run through his short, short hair. Before you get too attached to the kiss, you force yourself to pull away.

“I do.” You nod as you lean into him, sighing. His arms tighten around your body, trying to pull you close again.

“Please. I just need one more day with you before you go back to work.” He begs. He was lucky you’d been able to get yesterday off. “Brinkley.”

You climbed off his lap, moving back to your vanity to put your makeup away.

“Cal, I just don’t know how I would swing that to my boss.” You explain before turning to your closet to put on your day’s outfit for under your uniform.

“Just tell him your extremely good looking and talented boyfriend is home and you need the day off.” His voice keeps growing whinier. “Or that you’re sick. You’re in the food industry, they won’t want you to come in if you are sick. Please I’ll pamper you all day, we can watch Great British Bake Off and eat junk and do all the things we love.”

You can feel yourself starting to cave in so you just shake your head, at yourself more so than Calum for letting yourself be this weak to his demands. Calum seems to think this means no, you won’t be staying home but you just grab your phone and start dialing the number.

Even though you insist on being sick, your boss sees right through you asking how your boyfriend is. Luckily, he’s pretty sympathetic to your long distance situation and just chuckles telling you to have a good day and that he’ll see you the next day.

Calum cheers hearing you say that you’ll see your boss on Tuesday instead. You quickly change out of your clothes and back into some comfy sweats and one of Calum’s t-shirts.

“You fucking idiot! Everyone knows you need to whip the egg whites to a stiff peak before you mix in the other ingredients in. If you have no idea how to make a genoise sponge, how’d you even get on the show?” Calum yells at the tv as you laugh at him. “It’s not funny. She can’t make the most basic sponge that they require you to make every season on the show. How does she expect to ever get star baker, let alone win the show?”

He gets pretty worked up over the show and often gets mad at the contestants so it’s your job to calm him down but only after you laugh at him. Often times he will ask you to help him learn how to make whatever they are making on the show. But that doesn’t always turn out so well because he gets frustrated and realizes just how hard it really is, or he gets bored and throws food at you resulting in you kicking him out of the kitchen.

But today, you nixed baking and decided to just stay in bed. Your hands were wandering each other’s bodies, softly exploring what they already knew. His hands would give light squeezes on your hips and he’d place soft kisses to your hair. While your hands would trace patterns on his bare chest. Your legs were wrapped around each other and your head was resting on his shoulder.

As you lay there watching the show you decide you’re hungry and want to get a bowl of popcorn but Calum refuses to let you get up. He’s been like this all day, very whiny. He won’t let you leave the bed, or if you do he follows you, his arms wrapped around you from behind as he holds you while you walk to wherever you’re going in your house. You had to draw the line at him following you into the bathroom though.

Yesterday, the two of you had gone to brunch with some of your other friends and spent the day in town so it was nice to have today to just relax.

After grabbing your popcorn and a drink to go with it, you head back to the bedroom and plop down into the bed where duke had taken over Calum’s half of the bed. Calum doesn’t mind this though because it gives him more reason to cuddle with you. He quickly falls back into the position he was holding you before you got up.

“I love you.” You whisper quietly to him, the Great British Bake Off is now just background noise as the two of you softly talk to each other and admire one another.

“I love you, Brinkley.” He responds, filling your stomach with butterflies. The two of you are quiet for a moment. As you take a hold of his much larger hand in yours and fiddle with his fingers and his rings, his other hand gently plays with your short, dirty blond hair. “So much. I love you so damn much.”

The thing about your relationship was, you never needed to be loud about your feelings for each other. Because you were so comfortable with one another and understood each other so well. The softness and sweetness of every moment made it so much better, more personal and perfect for the two of you and your relationship.

He pressed another soft kiss to your forehead and looked at you for a few minutes, studying the way your eyes crinkled slightly as your smiled and how perfectly your hand fit in his.

“Marry me?” He whispers, all of a sudden.

“What?” It comes out of a your mouth before you can even fully comprehend what he’s asking, He’s looking in your eyes, intently and repeats himself, this time with more confidence.

“Marry me,” He says. “I’m serious. I had planned to take you out to dinner later this week when I’d had a chance to settle in more. But this is perfect for us. This is who we are and I can’t think of a better way to ask you to be my wife. I love you with everything in my being and I wouldn’t be who I am without you. You are the kindest, smartest and most caring woman I know and I never want anyone else to be by my side. So please, Marry Me?”

At this point he is smiling at you and a little out of breath but you are tearing up. You are so in love with this man so the only thing you can say is.

“I do. I will marry you. Yes.” You exclaim and he pulls you into you for a kiss and to hug you tight. “I love you.”

[kookie-ghoul]

Perdition pt.3

BTS Horror AU

Warning!- may contain main character deaths, disturbing images, mentions of bullying, suicide and death. Please don’t read this if you think you might get triggered.

Summary: After a major accident resulting in the death of his loved ones, Jimin moves to town in hopes of turning over a new leaf at his new school. Taehyung, the school’s resident loner with a mysterious reputation, just wants a break. Fate brings them together forging a meaningful friendship between the two and life seems good, but when a foreboding entity begins visiting Jimin in his dreams, he finds himself inexorably linked to a series of mysterious deaths. Soon everyone is a suspect and Jimin doesn’t know who to trust. Is Taehyung really who he says he is?

part 1 part 2 part 3

~~

The next day Jimin was shaken to say the least. He couldn’t get the weird dream out of his mind. He had reasoned that it must’ve been something he ate or maybe even the stress from moving, but for some reason everything felt too real, too personal…. Hoping school would take his mind off it, he continued on his way. 

“Jimin!! What a coincidence!” Jimin was surprised to see Taehyung who was now putting an arm around him. “I was just telling these wonderful freshmen here that they’ve been such good helpers,” he said putting his hands together and bowing to a couple of blushing freshman girls.

“Okay….” Jimin replied unsure of how this was relevant to him as Taehyung waved the girls goodbye. He walked with Taehyung down the hallway and noticed his welcome buddy thankfully seemed more relaxed. Jimin was worried he wouldn’t see him around again considering how weird he had acted. Despite his apparent meltdown however, Jimin still thought it would be nice to be friends with him. He decided not to bring up the incident to avoid any future awkwardness. 

“I’m gonna level with you,” Taehyung said suddenly taking Jimin by both shoulders. “It wasn’t a coincidence, I was actually waiting for you all morning.” He laughed making Jimin smile a bit as they arrived at Taehyung’s locker. “I got you a new locker and asked those nice freshman girls to move your books. They were so kind and eager to help.”

“You sure?” Jimin asked. “I think they were eager for something else,” he teased.

Taehyung just winked at him and opened the locker next to his. “ Welcome to your new abode,” he said bowing dramatically. Jimin laughed, this time being Taehyung’s turn to smile. “I know your old locker was all creepy and stuff so I took the liberty of getting you a locker next to me! Now we’re neighbors!” Taehyung said excitedly.

“Oh, you didn’t have to, but thank you!” Jimin said a little taken aback. “That’s so nice of you.” Right when he said that, however, he felt a shiver down his spine and remembered his dream. Don’t trust him, it said. That left a pit in Jimin’s stomach. He looked at Taehyung who was now happily unpacking a bunch of carp bread packets into his own locker. Could the dream have meant him? This kid who who was now putting sweet bread instead of books into his locker? It couldn’t be… why was Jimin even listening to a bad dream anyways?

~~~

The rest of the day went smoothly in comparison. Jimin met up with Taehyung during lunch who led them to a table in the corner where someone was already seated; a pale boy dressed in all black. 

“Yoongi Hyung!”Taehyung called as they approached him.

“I told you to just call me Yoongi, Tae,” Yoongi corrected. Taehyung sighed taking a seat right in front of him.

“Goodness, Yoongi. I was trying to act all respectful and stuff to impress our new friend here,” he replied nodding toward Jimin. Jimin sat beside Taehyung.

“Hey, Yoongi,” Jimin greeted.

“Jimin,” Yoongi returned bowing slightly, barely looking up from his lunch.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. How did you know my name yesterday when it was my first day?” Jimin asked remembering the conversation from the day before. Yoongi shrugged.

“Yoongi’s just weird like that. He knows everything before anyone tells him anything. It’s like a super power of his,” Taehyung replied as a matter of factly. Jimin nodded pretending to understand. He definitely did not.

“Hi, mind if I join you?” 

The three boys looked up simultaneously to find a tall, handsome looking boy with broad shoulders coming their way. None of them responded a little wary of the new company. The boy sat next to Yoongi and set down his things.

“Uh, yeah… sorry,” Jimin said finally. He was still getting used to people actually wanting to be with him. This was the most he’d been talked to without the bullying in a long time. Jimin had started to accept being called “psycho,” “mental patient,” and so on, not to mention getting beaten up and having his belongings thrown in the toilets or school fountain everyday. It was nice being with people who were outliers like him and enjoying himself.

“Yoongi. Taehyung,” the boy said. The two greeted him with a slight bow. He waved to Jimin from across the table, “Hello! I’m Seokjin. I’m the student body president and part of the welcome committee. I heard you were new here so I wanted to come meet you.”

“Oh, thanks,”Jimin replied. “I’m Jimin. It’s really nice of you to come talk to me, I’m not used to this.” He smiled brightly. 

“No problem!” Seokjin said waving a hand. “I just wanted to let you know that if you need anything you can always come to me! Yoongi and Taehyung are old friends of mine, so any friend of theirs is a friend of mine.” He smiled at Jimin and Jimin smiled back; Seokjin seemed cool too.

~~~

The next few weeks went by in a blink of an eye. Without the usual horridness of school and good friends instead, Jimin found that life was actually somewhat enjoyable. He spent his lunch with Yoongi and Taehyung, occasionally Seokjin, but he was usually busy. Outside of lunch however, Jimin hung out with Taehyung who seemed just as eager to become friends. Taehyung texted Jimin non stop asking him about his favorite video games, favorite ice cream flavors, favorite music. It turned out they had a lot in common and that made Jimin happy. The more time that passed, the more Jimin found that Taehyung was a very caring person. For one,  he always gave Jimin some of the carp bread stashed in his locker. He also always made sure that Jimin was comfortable and happy, not just as a “welcome buddy” but just as a good friend would. Jimin would try to return the favor by doing small things for him in return. Sometimes he would notice that Taehyung seemed a bit down so he’d send him a funny meme or bring him some junk food from the vending machines. Jimin was happy thinking that of all the welcome buddies he could’ve received, he got the best one. However, as much as Jimin was enjoying himself, his and Taehyung’s lives had not changed much on the outside. Noticing the new friendship, people’s name calling evolved from just “freaks” and “weirdos,” now officially being noticed as the school’s resident “psycho soulmates.” 

“I have to hand it to them,” said Taehyung as he and Jimin stood waiting in line for food at the cafeteria. “It is pretty catchy.” Jimin chuckled. Taehyung was such an optimist.

“If anyone dares call you guys ‘psycho soulmates’ in front of my face, I’ll eat them alive,” Yoongi said as he walked up to them. A grubby student walked by eyeing the group earning a threatening lunge from Yoongi effectively scaring the kid away.

Taehyung teased him, “Gosh, Yoongi. You almost sound like you like us!” Yoongi shrugged and the three smiled at each other.

“Hey, gang!” Seokjin called from a little ways away. He jogged up to them excitedly.

“Aish… Don’t call us ‘gang’,” Yoongi groaned. “It makes us sound like some sort of 80’s boy band.”

Seokjin visibly struggled to not laugh. “Hey, Yoongi, speaking about 80’s boy bands,” he said lightly slapping Yoongi’s arm. “Are you a Jonas Brother? Because I’m burning up for you, Baby.” Seokjin burst out laughing while Yoongi put his fingers to the bridge of his nose and just shook his head in shame. 

“Hyung, That’s not even an 80’s boy band!” Jimin exclaimed. The joke was so bad but Jimin couldn’t stop laughing. Sometimes Seokjin was such a nerd about these things but despite the general cringe of his humor, Jimin would always fall prey to a fit of laughter.

Calming down for a second, Seokjin put a hand on Jimin’s shoulder and straightened up a bit. “Jimin, because of your good sense of humor, I have decided to adopt you as my son.” The two burst out laughing again, clutching their sides as they began to hurt. Yoongi rolled his eyes fondly at the two, but Taehyung, who had been more or less quite the whole time, just looked on. 

“Anyways, I got to go. I just wanted to say hi! Maybe I’ll catch you guys later!” Seokjin said before he walked off. Jimin was still trying to recover from laughing but waved Seokjin goodbye and turned back to his two friends.

“I don’t understand why you think his jokes are so funny,”Taehyung suddenly deadpanned. 

“Oh, come on, Tae. Stop being so cynical,” Jimin replied. “It’s just so bad, it’s too good!” 

Taehyung just shrugged. “To me it’s just bad.”Jimin felt a little disappointed by Taehyung’s comment. The whole mood had dropped in an instant leaving Jimin feeling a bit uncomfortable. 

“Do you really dislike Seokjin’s humor or do you just not like Seokjin?” Jimin asked.

“I don’t know, Jimin,” Taehyung said flatly. “Maybe we just shouldn’t trust him.” Then he picked up his food tray and headed to the table leaving Jimin and Yoongi in line. But the words Taehyung had used left Jimin with shivers running down his spine.

Don’t trust him…

~~

Thanks for reading! There’s more to come so please look forward to it!

Seems like Jimin is making good friends... right? Why does Taehyung not like Seokjin? Why does Jimin’s dream keep coming to mind?

[thehuggamugcafe]

‘Sweetie, I would never think that’ for my favourite boy Akira/Ren. I’m so happy that your back!

OOC:Greetings and good day/evening, dear anon. I’m terribly sorry aboutmy absence, so I hope to make up for it by answering requests.

Got to honour Spicy Saturday and Sinday after all, no?Fufu~.

I’m going to go with Ren for this one, if that’s alright with you? I hope it’s to your satisfaction. Thank you for your order, anon. This got a bit angsty for a bit, so I’m sorry for that. I hope the sweetness balances out with the slight bitterness. Do enjoy. Cheers!

Credit goes to the amazing @the-corgi-persona for helping this Barista out with a certain part. Jealous Ren is the best Ren~. ☕

Ren Amamiya was never one for words.

He was a firm believer in “actions speak louder thanwords”, and his beliefs certainly shone through when it came to anysort of PDA with you, his partner. Holding your hand was fine.Slipping an arm around your waist was fine, but…

When it came to other, far more affectionate mannerisms, RenAmamiya…

Became a bit cold.

If you eyed him curiously as he stared at you, stone-cold pokerface and all…

He looked as though you just asked him to convert to areligion, knowing what he was.

“I’m sorry… You want a what?”

“A kiss, Ren.”

A request. A suggestion. A quiet but clear plea for some publicaffection that didn’t involve holding hands, a request for somepublic affection that didn’t involve arms being slipped around yourwaist.

“…We’re in public.”

“And?”

A sigh left Ren’s lips, his onyx irises shimmering with anemotion that you couldn’t readily identify. You tilted your head tothe side, pursing your lips as his arm slipped down from where it wasaround your waist.

Was he annoyed?

Had your request bothered him, even if it was only slightly?

You couldn’t tell. 

Try as you might, you couldn’t discern any identifiableemotions from Ren’s expressionless stare, no more so than could youpick out any feeling in the noiret’s obsidiangaze.

The warm onyx no longer looked as enchanting.

The gentle obsidian you loved no longer appeared as warm,as welcoming.

Cold. Empty. Dark.

The flashing lights of the theatre you two were approaching madeitself known, the latest must-see movie’s title appearing above theentrance as you and Ren drew near.

You didn’t speak. 

No, you couldn’t speak.

It was as though a hand had silently wrapped around your throat,robbing you of your ability to speak, to whisper, to form a simplesentence, no matter how short. Finally, something else shattered thesilence that, to you, didn’t seem to be broken by anything but yourfootsteps, as well as Ren’s.

“…Ren…?”

Your voice broke the silence that, suddenly, seemed quite tense, suffocating, and distant.

“I’ll go purchase our order. Wait here.”

“…Yes, Ren.”

You breathed a huff once the noiret was out of earshot, almostglaring daggers into the young man’s back when he was far enoughway that you felt you could get away with it.

What’s his deal? Seriously… It’s just a kiss! you hissed mentally, puffing your cheeks as you breathed a second huff.

Thus, you stood and wait, tapping the heel of your foot every now and then, your hands stuffed in your pockets, flicking a glance around, hoping to spot a head of frizzy noiret hair or a pair of onyx irises.

However, the collective laughter of men caused you to glance in their direction, watching them as they steadily began to approach you. There were four in total, tall, handsome, and yet…

Compared to a certain someone, they may as well have just crawled out of a pool of sewage waste. To you, their chuckles sounded reminiscent of nails being dragged across a chalkboard, and you could have sworn that your ears rang shrilly.

Once their eyes fell on you, you took notice of the way they smirked and smiled, moving their eyes up and down your stationary form.

“Hey sweet thing, you lonely?”

You didn’t answer.

“Ah, the shy type, huh?”

You still didn’t answer.

“Hey, are you deaf? We’re talking to you.”

“What do you want?” you asked at last, pursing your lips.

“So she speaks. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I didn’t think it was necessary to answer you, that’s why.”

“Huh?”

Shit. Me and my big mouth! you silently hissed, but you kept a brave face on.

Indeed, the telltale signs of a scowl pulled at your face, standing where you stood, as though roots secured you in place.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t intimidated as the men started to approach you, scowls of their own pulling at their faces.

Your breath hitched as one of the men’s hands shot forward, grasping your forearm, baring his teeth to you as he snarled.

“Listen here, you little bitch-”

You felt your hand clench to a fist, your teeth grit as you prepared to not only insult the man, but physically retaliate, but…

A sharp “hey!” stopped you from carrying out your intentions, as your eyes—and the eyes of the men—fell upon a certain frizzy-haired, onyx-eyed young man as he approached.

He carried an assortment of goodies: a bag of popcorn, packets of sweets, and two drinks. However, there was no way to miss the small, barely-there glare that pinched Ren’s face, and it became more and more clear the closer he got to you.

“The movie will start soon. Shall we go?” Ren asked, nonchalantly nudging himself between you and the men.

The man who’d been holding you released your forearm without a second thought, but not before passing your boyfriend the most scathing look that was humanly possible.

“Y-Yes,” you said, swallowing a gulp.

Various bags crinkled and shifted as the junk food was passed onto you and, pausing only to spare the men one last scowl, Ren’s arm slipped around your waist, leading you away from the male quartet.

In the cramped darkness of the theatre, you sat and watched the movie as it played, indulging yourself in the snacks Ren had purchased earlier.

Or so it seemed, at least.

Your body mimicked movements such as stuffing your mouth with popcorn, candy, or sipping your tall, ice-cold drink as your eyes ogled the large screen, and yet…

Your mind was miles away from the present, despite outward appearances.

Indeed, your mind always thought back to what had recently transpired.

You remembered how tense, straight, and rigid Ren’s posture had been.

You recalled the way his eyes narrowed, how his jaw became set.

You visualized the way Ren’s obsidian irises glared icy daggers into the men.

In all honesty, he reminded you of a wild animal as it approached trespassers on its territory, minus the raised hackles and bared teeth.

You would be lying if you claimed to have never considered asking Ren, half-jokingly, if he considered you to be his territory.

Your gaze watched as the credits began to roll, just as you polished off the last of your snack food. swallowing a small glob of caramel coated in chocolate, and washing it down with a few last slurps of your soda.

As the last of the bubbly liquid washed across your tongue, as it tickled your esophagus as it was swallowed, you flicked a glance at Ren. He sat on your right, staring straight ahead, arms folded across his chest.

Soon, his gaze inclined towards you. For a moment, and only a moment, the corners of his lips twitched as a hand reached for yours. You felt your mouth quirk to form a smile, feeling the noiret’s thumb slowly, carefully rubbing circles around the edge of your knuckles.

“…I’m sorry,” you spoke at last, staring at your boyfriend.

Ren voiced a simple “hm?” in response.

“About earlier… I should’ve… I could’ve handled it better… Sorry that you had to step in.”

“…Don’t apologize.”

That was all he said as he raised your hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“But I… I must have looked seriously lame, like some damsel in distress, huh?”

“Sweetie, I would never think that.”

As he talked, Ren’s lips pressed kisses to your knuckles, polishing the flourish of gentle kisses with a barely-there brush of his mouth running across your skin.

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t look out for my girlfriend?”

That was a point you couldn’t deny.

You and Ren left the theatre, hand in hand, a smile pulling across your lips as you two stepped out into the early evening—until your eyes caught glimpse of four familiar men, that is.

Seeing the four men from earlier, the ones who had been bothering you, resulted in a chill worming its way down your spine. Your shoulders grew tense, flicking a glance at Ren as you and he walked.

Your eyes widened, however, noticing the mischievous glint in his onyx eyes, the corner of his lips curling to form a smirk.

“Ren…?” 

You watched as the noiret spared a glance at you, smirk still on his lips, the telltale glint of mischief shining in his irises.

“Would you object to a kiss, my little minx?”

“H-Huh?”

That was all you could get out as Ren paused in the middle of the sidewalk, using the arm that was still slung around your waist to pull you in closer. His free hand was raised, holding your chin with his fingers as your face, your gaze was angled so that you stared up at him.

Soon, you felt the familiar warmth of his lips pressing against yours once, twice, three times in smooth, affectionate precision.

“Huh… So she’s taken.”

“She could’ve said so.”

“C’mon, let’s go.”

You giggled into the fourth kiss, feeling Ren pressing his lips to yours especially hard as you breathed a second laugh into his mouth.

“My, my. Was my boyfriend jealous?” you asked, smiling as Ren pulled away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, love,” he said, still smirking slightly.

And yet… Despite his words…

There was absolutely no way you missed the brief flash of crimson that shone in his irises, and you chuckled again, albeit nervously.

“We’ll see who’s laughing when we return home, won’t we?”

[mollydollyjournals]

My period started today so I'm extra huge. But I also binged. So I feel especially terrible. I really wanted to drink. For my mood and to not be so aware of my body. I didn't, because I know that in the end I'll feel worse...that'd be even more bloating and I don't think I can deal with that. This is difficult enough as it is. I definitely kept wanting to drink. Eventually I think I didn't because it just got late in the day. I do still have one single serve bottle - I could just have that to feel a little better. But idk if there's much point. It won't actually make me happy. I'd want to drink a proper amount. Which I can't and won't now.

I guess that's about the only good thing about today. That I managed to avoid drinking. I got my covid test result back negative as well. Other than that I've been really tired and kind of nauseous. Hb was really noisy a few hours before I was due to get up so that didn't help. I did a little bit of housework and got so exhausted I had to stop halfway and lie down. I'm going to have to try to finish it tomorrow, which still won't be easy because I'm sure my period is part of why I feel so terrible right now.

Hb noticed the newer marks on my arm earlier. I thought he had already, they've been there for maybe 2 weeks now. Idk my sense of time isn't great. He kind of just went back to looking at his phone right afterwards. I don't really know what to make of it.

Lockdown is changing on Monday and I can legally see bf. Just in time for my birthday, and his. I'm scared. I don't remember how to be around people, and I feel so disgusting in my body. I want to see him, but I don't want him to see me. I feel like I need more time. I won't want to see him on my period because I'll just be in pain and tired and bloated and want to stay in bed, so I'm going to see if we can make it a week later. But it's not like that's enough time to fix everything. Even if I eat well this week, I usually can't exercise on my period due to fatigue and nausea, so I can't expect anything to change.

I guess I just have to hope that I feel differently when the bloat goes away. It'll be at its worst now. I'm lying on my back and I feel like my belly is a dome above me. It's just I know it's not all bloat and water retention. My face is huge, my thighs are high and disgusting, that stuff will only change a little by next week. Idk.

I decided to get back into DDR. Over the years I've tried to do other things - I tried running for a while (as expected, I'm extremely bad at it and barely burn any calories or enjoy it or anything, so I stopped), I have an exercise bike (I used to love spin class and I like getting on the bike and listening to music, but I do also get kind of bored sometimes and my butt always really hurts afterwards even though there's a lot of cushioning both on the bike seat and on me), and thus past year I did some YouTube workouts (I always find these are either too difficult or don't burn enough). I've just never found anything as good as DDR for easily adjustable and personalisable HIIT with a potentially really high calorie burn. I used to be able to do the really fast ones and burn loads, but it's been a long time of bad health since then. So I'll have to start from scratch. I figured I'll try doing the easy songs I used to do when I first started. Thing with DDR is it has workout mode so you can easily set a calorie goal - back then I used to set that goal and then just get to it no matter how long it took, rather than doing like an hour of something that could vary in intensity.

There just isn't a good space in my current house for it all though. I've loved here for a few years and never played DDR properly here because of it. So I had to buy some things and rearrange some things to try to get a good enough space. I have 2 mats and I have no idea where they are. I have a bad feeling they'll have got crushed in storage somewhere. So I bought a new one. But the tracking info says they sent it via Hermes and I hate Hermes so it's not here yet and might not be for a while. They don't exactly make PS2 dancemats anymore so there isn't a whole lot of choice - I'd like it if this one could arrive in good time and not be broken or anything...

Anyway. That's kind of my hope for my weight. It was my best tool in the past, I just kind of stopped. A couple of years after I got into DDR was when I had to run my house and visit hospital and I was too young to drive or anything so I walked a lot. I got all my cardio from that. After that I'm not sure. But it's probably about time I started again. It's been long enough now that I don't feel so bad about the fact that I can't do what I used to either. I'll just have to work my way back up again.

My journal is coming together, I've cooked a little bit to test recipes, I have lists of things to do each day of the week, I have a new skincare routine that's making my skin way better than it was, and I'm going to start DDR again to hopefully lose weight...the irritating thing is I'm only just now well set up to be in quarantine. If there was more lockdown time now, I'd know exactly how to spend all my time because I have everything written out. If hb just left to go stay with his parents or something idk I'd just hide away and work on all this stuff. I feel a little threatened by lockdown lifting. I want to go out and stuff but I know that I'm not very good at sticking to things at home when I have a lot of other stuff to do. If I have a routine and something throws me off, often that's that and I have to start from scratch getting back into that routine. Sometimes I try to get around that by doing everything but then I get burned out. I don't have the same energy as most people.

So I'm a little worried. In theory, as long as I don't drink myself sick, I should be able to have a routine where I wake up and do my chores first, then get going to anything else that's going on. When I made my weekly schedule, I did try to make it somewhat flexible and easy to catch up with. But that's in theory...in practice things are often different. In theory, I always think I'm going to do some exercise on my period, but in practice I'm completely exhausted and everything makes me feel sick and I'm even craving sweet junk foods when I normally don't even crave sweet stuff at all.

I don't know. I'm just so sick of seeing 156 on the scales. I was 156.6 again today. I definitely should be glad it's not higher. It feels higher. And it's just before my period so that could be including some water weight. But I feel way bigger now than I did earlier, so maybe I still have water weight to gain. I could be any weight by the end of the week. I really hate having periods. Nothing has ever stopped them for me. The only thing that came close was the pill, but I can't take that anymore due to the stroke risk. Every month I think maybe I do want a hysterectomy. Just there are so many side effects from that as well. I just hate having had this whole reproductive system in the first place. If I have to have a uterus and all then why can't I have regular 4 day periods that aren't ridiculously heavy and painful and don't give me fucking anemia for a week and actually stop when I take certain hormonal treatments.

I really feel like there's a melon in my belly right now. It's so uncomfortable. Nobody else understands this stuff - I know a lot of women are conditioned to feel self conscious and all because diet culture, but it's really something else when you have an ED. For me it seems to be more relating to my self image and view of weight than actual food. More WD than ED. I wish I had neither or both. If I'm going to hate my body, why can't I be someone who actually does starve and lose weight. Instead I just binge, restrict, eat normally, binge, go through all the cycles, lose nothing, but still hate myself.

Idk. I want to queue some posts but I also don't know if I can look at it while I feel like this. I can't not be aware of my belly right now. I feel 6 months pregnant. I wish it would just fucking go away. It's been almost 2 decades of this.

[spacechip707]

Sorry if this has been requested before, but can I have a Saeyoung x MC where he has a bad dream and he's super scared when he wakes up. Maybe mc could comfort him or something. Thanks!

Sure thing! I hope you like it:) 

Beads of sweat trickled past his temple. Breath left his lungs faster than he could inhale. His head ached, and the world around him spun in darkness.

Saeyoung gripped his blanket, almost shoving the cloth in his mouth to stop the sob that wrenched from his throat. Cold air glossed over his skin, eliminating whatever body heat he had acquired from initially waking.

The bed was so cold and...empty.

For a moment, his sleep induced brain convinced him that he was alone in this world. The faint glimmer of his wedding ring and the padded steps in the hall snapped him back to reality. Though they did nothing to stop his trembling shoulders.

“Saeyoung?”

You called his name from the doorway, bleary eyes and mussed hair. You rubbed your eyes and yawned, before your gaze turned sharp and worried.

“Hold me,” he managed to speak.The words came out broken, weak, and desperate, but right now his pride was nothing compared to the images in his head. “MC, please--”

He doesn't even get to finish, as you were already rushing towards the bed and half throwing yourself onto him. You sat on his lap as your legs encased him.

You weren't so much wrapping your arms around his neck as he was grappling your body against his chest. He buried his face in your shoulder, unashamedly letting the burning tears streak down his cheeks.

Your fingers stroked the hair at the nape of his neck. “Hey,” you whispered. “What's wrong?”

The statement only beckoned him to squeeze you tighter. He shut his eyes and concentrated on you. The smell of you...how it mixed with traces of your perfume...your warmth emanating from your closeness...your skin...pressed flush against his rooting him in reality.

“Just another nightmare,” he said finally, though he still held you against him.

“Was it about her?” you ask, your hands protectively cradling his head.

He tensed at the mention of his mother. For once, she wasn’t the cause of his tremors.

Saeyoung shook his head and swallowed the bitter taste on his tongue. “Not this time,” he said. He shuddered as the images returned to him. He didn’t remember details, but he did recall the chaos and you. Specifically, your face frozen in fear as you took your last breaths, while he could do nothing but weep over your lifeless body. He’d had this dream before, but never had it felt so real.

“Saeyoung, talk to me,” your gentle voice drew him back to the present moment. You were there...in his arms. Safe and sound. No one had you. You were fine.

He adjusted himself slightly to rest his lips between your brows. “No, it was just a nightmare,” he said. “Something happened, and you weren’t part of my world anymore.”

You sighed, and your warm breath fanned across his neck. It sent heat down to his toes and dispelled any chill still coursing through his veins.

He swallowed thickly, and his tongue had difficulty forming words. “MC, can you--” his voice caught, and his plea was lost in a whimper. His heart rate accelerated and once again, trepidation restricted air from entering his lungs.

Thankfully, you understood. Your fingers curled around his tank top that had begun to cling to his damp skin. “Talk. Got it. Um, how about we plan tomorrow?”

He nodded against you, concentrating on your voice. You went on, your dulcet tone wavering here and there but overall, calm. “We could go to the park! Maybe we’ll take Saeran and get some ice cream from that little stand. Or we could just grab some groceries. I'll even let you get some junk food.”

A laugh forced itself up his throat, loosening the tight grip. “Even soda?” he questioned. His veins still throbbed with his heart but it was lessening.

“We’ll see,” you mused.

He sucked in a sharp breath, and you fingers brushed down the hair at his neck. “Okay, okay. Soda,” you appeased. “And  whatever else you want!”

His lips curved upwards against your bare shoulder. “Don’t spoil me,” he managed, still chasing his next breath. Anxiety clenched his insides, and he let out a small groan. “Just keep talking, please.”

And so you did, and Saeyoung listened. He didn't comprehend all your words. He didn't even follow your thought after a while. He just needed to hear that voice...that sweet voice that always grounded him when he was being unreasonable whether through scolding or through the innate kindness flowing from your heart.

His muscles relaxed, and his mind fluctuated between vigilance and lethargy. It wasn’t until he noticed the soft cushions beneath him did he realize he had fallen asleep at some point.

Your words droned back into focus in his ears...a warm welcome to complete consciousness.

“And sometimes it’s annoying, but it’s also cute,” you were saying. Your finger traced swirls against his shoulder, awakening his nerves from their numbness. “Then, there’s those times when you think no one’s looking, and I think that side is my favorite.”

You were talking about him?

You chuckled slightly and your movements slowed with the contemplative pause. “It’s not necessarily sad,” you said. “Sometimes it’s when you’re watching those stupid cat videos. Or texting in the chatroom. That smile...it’s so natural and--and--breathtaking. I just…love you so, so much.”

Your sigh drifted over him like a zephyr. His eyes fluttered open to see you hovering over him. For a moment, he caught something. It was just a glimpse, but he caught it and held it tight in his memories. Your face glowed in the dim light of the room. It was radiant and beautiful and sprouting from love...for him. He could feel it winding through his body, resulting in butterflies tickling his stomach. Saeyoung was a married man and yet here you were degrading him to a mere, lovestruck schoolboy.

Your sudden wide stare indicated your embarrassment. You ducked your head, your gaze flitting away from his. “Er--did you hear all that?”

Tears leaked from the edges of his eyes in response, grazing against his ears as they fell onto his pillow. His hand reached out, caressing your cheek. In an impulsive decision, he sat up and crashed his lips against yours.

The kiss was like fire. At first, it was intense and burning...mouths moving in tandem until you were both breathless, and your lungs burned for oxygen, which you reluctantly gave them. Then...it settled to a soft flame, gentle, warm, and comforting, neither one of you willing to press further, instead choosing to cherish those lighter touches.

“I never want to lose you,” Saeyoung said against your lips. The words were weighted with conviction, spurred from the scarring images of his dark dream as well as the sweet praises you poured onto him.

“You won’t,” you returned with equal fervor. “I’m here…” You pointed to his head.

You removed his hand from your cheek, placing a kiss to his palm before pressing it over his heart. The steady thrum behind your fingertips contrasted the erratic drumming of his own pulse. “And here especially,” you continued. You half laughed. “Sorry, babe. Can’t get rid of me if you tried.”

“Look at you--a skilled hacker,” he said in attempt at levity. You shrugged, a ghost of a smile gracing your lips.

Exhaustion hit Saeyoung hard, and he tumbled back onto the mattress, pulling you down with him. He found himself leveled with your eyes, bright and alluring...and very, very real.

It was there that his nightmare was long forgotten, as well the pain that accompanied it. Instead, his heart ached for a very different reason. That reason was you. The overwhelming love he felt towards you pierced his very core. But that...that was a pain he would happily embrace.

[willard-writes]

BEES, a Glycerin Drabble

< You know what it is. Yet again, the Glycerin train is going, but this is about when she discovered she’s got her iconic parasites. On her first RP blog, I did expand the situation on what happened, but it does get summed in this, so have no fear! >

< you could tell I started to stop feeling it at one point. But I was determined, FOR THE LORE! besides, I like depicting Gasmoxia as a more living and breathing land with various minor characters.>

Waking up from a deep sleep is always a disorienting experience, to gather one's bearings in an instant. Most of the time it's not so bad, waking up in a comfortable bed and realizing one is in their room, but what if the aspect of familiarity was taken away? Sounds of beeping, people speaking, machines whirring, all echoing around one entity.

A low growl travelled through the trunk of a certain insectoid monarch, her albino body still shining brightly, even when against a pale mattress. For a moment, her body felt light, as she opened her eyes and looked in her surroundings, noticing she was in a large pod of sorts, dressed only in leggings that were tight around the segmented part of her legs, and leaving most of her body exposed. As she continued to lay and ponder, a different feeling came into her body. Discomfort. First, she shrugged it off as just her body crushing her wings beneath, but it started to get more uncomfortable... and then it started to hurt. Really badly.

Her body thrashed around, before someone nearby realized she was awake and in agony. A nurse swiftly pressed a button, resulting in something within the pod to shoot some sort of powder, slowing her movements and numbing her body. They apologized, immediately bowing their head. "We weren't expecting you to awaken so suddenly. Doctor Tizanidine thought you'd be pretty out of it for longer, at least a week! We noticed your body was already being launched into activity in only a day, but to recover from such an attack after two days? Well, Tizanidine did say you always were a fighter, Queen Glycerin."

"... Wait, what the fuck is going on?" Her voice sounded rather weak, but she clearly wasn't going to just be quiet. She needed answers. Though, there was an odd buzz-like sound, subtle, but there.

"Oh, oh, sorry, you are probably confused! My name is Eskatamine, I've been assisting with watching over your very swift progress. You were brought in by some guards, they said you passed out on planet Bysala. They were worried that you got into quite the gruesome fight and---"

"Hold on, Bysala? Right, they had that whole declaration of enemyship junk. Not my fault I wasn't going to pay them to be allies just because it's what Cellulose did."

"So you attacked them?"

"Yeah. Assembled an army, and attacked, directly in all their capitals. They were all weak, thinkin' they can just overwhelm us with the amount of bodyguards, but they failed. Pitiful. Some leaders surrendered, some were murdered by me. I remember our last target surrendered, actin' real sweet. He wanted us to all get along, nothin’ bad had to happen!"

"Really? Well, besides for being amazed that you recklessly attacked all of them head-on, there might be a contradiction. The guards said, besides for your collapsed body, there was a broken urn, and that leader dead, covered in his own blood, looking like he was pierced by a thousand needles. Sort of like your hand."

Although it took a moment, Glycerin looked over to her hand, and there were a couple of marks and scratches across it. She was wearing armoured gloves at the time of her attack, how did this happen? The more she lingered onto the nurse's words, she recalled what happened, and every little noise when silent, except for this immense, muffled buzzing.

"It's funny," they added on, "most of the exterior of your body seems fine, no real wounds that pierced your exoskeleton. All of the damage is, well internal."

It took a while for the insectoid to respond, but after one deep breath, her eyes looked back to the other. "Dare I ask what you mean by 'damage' and 'internal'."

"Your Highness, are you sure you want to deal with this now? I don't want to be the bringer of bad news, and you just woke up, and the doctor isn't even---"

"I am your ruler, and you will tell me about a potential hinderance."

"Youhaveparasites!"

"... Pardon?"

"Uh, okay, this isn't easy to explain, but someone did some research and there's this rare Bysalian bug species, khalshari, that almost overwhelmed the planet years ago. The only handfull that were ever captured were kept in an urn, being kept in a low-maintenance state, clinging by a thread to life. One of the leaders has said in an interview that he was keeping them in case research progressed that would tame them, and they would no longer be a threat, but...."

"This has got to be some bullshit."

"Unfortunately, it is not, Your Highness." They brought over a screen, showing an inside view of the queen. Eskatamine proceeded with speaking, giving it only a second for Glycerin to glance at it. "They have already got to work with effectively turning your body into their hive. The doctor says this will probably do some long-term damage to you over time, since I don't think your tissue or organs could recover from whatever it is they are doing. Though, they do seem in-tune with the activity in your brain, which I don't understand, but only time will tell if that's a concern."

The mantis-like alien stared into the distance, completely baffled by the situation. A swarm of pests were going to ruin her, internally. To call it a hinderance is still putting it lightly. She had a planet to rule, she couldn't let herself be brought down by this. "Can't you get rid of them?"

"As I said, they've already got to work with your innards, living and thriving once more. They probably haven't got to have something like this for a while, a new chance at life - though I now just realize you probably don't want to hear that. You probably realize at the cost of them not withering away is going to be your well-being. My apologies, Your Highness."

She sighed, thinking of what she was going to do about this. What if she died? She was just a young adult, and she already felt like she lost it all. No, this couldn't be the end of her legacy! She was going to make sure of it! There was one thing, one permanent thing that would be sure that the Nitros dynasty didn't wither. "Have they done any damage to my egg sac?"

"Uhm, I don't think so. They've tried to puncture it a couple times, I think, but haven't got through or even touched your egg." They took a moment to ponder over her question. "I don't try to get myself involved in the more political side of serving you, and right now you are sedated, maybe even a bit in a state of panic, given the circumstances, aren't able to think clearly... but it would be my professional opinion that now is your best shot to produce an heir. We don't know what this could do to you, after all."

"Good to see someone is thinking around here. Now let me out of this pod."

"I don't have permission to do that."

'C'mooooooooooon."

"You're sedated, you'll end up tumbling out. Not only that, but the pain will come back."

"Then I gotta work through it. You said this is probably my best chance at producing an heir, and you're right."

"P-Please don't put this on me, I don't think anyone will improve of me encouraging you!"

"Then they don't got to know of your involvement. Just shrug it off as a Nitros taking initiative."

"Your Highness, please, you must rest. You shouldn't be conscience right now, you probably haven't even ate for a while."

"... But what if I do eat? Will you let me go then? I might feel better."

Eskatamine sighed loudly. "Fine, fine, just come to me should you be writhing in agony because you shouldn't be out already, alright?."

"Thank you! You must understand, right? Not only do I hold absolute power, but I need to hold onto this power, until it gets passed on, so Gasmoxia doesn't fall to anarchy."

"Can't say I do, but you make it clear I don't have a choice."

"That's right~!" Glycerin chirped. Ready to sustain herself so she could give her lack of family a backup plan, her hand shakily jolted upwards, when suddenly a handful of parasites shot out from her hand, breaking through her flesh. Her shrieking was luckily not powerful enough to break the glass of the pod, and neither was the currently small swarm, and they soon retreated back into their new hive, to restore their power. Leaving the monarch to twitch erractically, every part of her aching.

The nurse walked over to the pod, pressing the button for the numbing powder, watching their leader's body calm down once again. "Do you want to delay on your plans now?"

"just a little." She whispered in response.

"I'll go get you some food, maybe that will lessen the pain. I'm sure the staff has probably been a little bored anyways." They soon rushed off, unsure if they wanted to deal with her for too much longer. They didn't even know how they were dragged into this, damn their superior for not being here this one time! Not to say they didn't feel sympathy for her though, she was panicked, but that was more reason why they shouldn't listen to her impulsive thoughts.

Glycerin was still and quiet for a while, her sounds of breathing intermixed with an echoing buzzing of some insects that also needed to get to work. This was a turn of events, for each and every one of them, and she had to deal with it. There was so much to ponder, what was going to happen to her? What was going to happen to her rule? What was---wait, forget that thought, she just realized she could shoot little stinging creatures out of her hands. Okay, this was a little fuckin' cool.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Im playing my online farming game and I hear "come on guys. Let's go. Time to quit playing around. Mom has people waiting -- like the whole world for our results"

Well it's been 7 hours since the last update and about 6 since they got that larger batch going

Chasity: the UV is doing better than i expected, I'm pleasantly surprised but it's also worse than i thought.

So she explains to me that it is easy to kill but it develops very quickly as it ages but its not harder to kill. Like a fine wine it goes down quick.

Chasity: mom you play too Much. So as it ages it does become slower to kill but it's not easier nor harder just longer.

Me: that's weird

Chasity: yep. We had several different people test it. And the results were all the same But it was milliseconds however we are spraying directly onto a a Petri dish, an antiseptic/antiviral/antibacterial that is prescription for lab use only and so in real life out in the air we don't know the actual results as far as in time - at this time. But we are only 12 hours into the testing phase -- first we had to confiscate the correct virus -- which we did about midnight last night but we didn't really want to test it unless there was an interest and to prove the "PRESIDENT" wrong is an interest. At least for us here in this lab. Because we Are scientist and not idiots. And so to find out how about air we have to spray it into a confined room we have here in the lab and it will show how fast it dies airborne or if it remains air borne past the allowable spray. So like is it just sprayed then falls like the one mom had created (on "accident" through George Bush) so its not airborne or does it remain air borne like the COVID and COVID-19. which once again if you have COVID-19 you cannot get COVID, I've tested it here in this lab they do not interact -- mom what do you call it? A one way window?

Me: yeah because i tried to explain the one way pathway but George Bush didn't understand... He doesn't understand that blood flows one direction through the body from left to right he just thinks the blood goes back and forth in the same blood tube. Like a two way street and so he argued with me and so i explained it as a one way and two way window and he was all "the only one getting arrested here is you. I've proved I'm not smart enough to do all this! Twice!! Just to you!" And he leaned over the table And whispered "And all my life to the secret service" he makes it fun to screw him over to make the perfect virus to kill aliens. To get them off our planet. But to keep humans safe!! And so yes one way mirror.

Chasity: oh that is too funny. That is all i wanted to hear you say, that hes dumb. Your memory is perfect!

Me: so how is the humidity going?

Chasity: sucks fast growing and not easy to kill. But! It does die in about 5 whole seconds and not milliseconds like the UV

Me: so people should feel safe to hang their clothes on the line?

Chasity: oh yeah! Exactly! But they should know the virus can spread in the sun and the UV aka sun won't kill them but it should be safe if it's not like apartment living and its in a private location. It would be better watched to dry in the sun with a fan on an extension cord in a barricaded outdoor place and if you hear someone cough while your clothes are outside you should spray Lysol for at least 2 seconds immediately directly onto the clothes. At least that's what I would do, stay outside with them listening for a cough or discreet spray from a hoodlum or terrorist which is the same now a days. While reading a book and catching some rays myself with sunscreen and sunglasses of course -- in the privacy of my own yard which is allowed even in Spain.

Wendy: so what is the safety? I'll answer that myself. Very very bad. The one mom had was very digital and not many were getting sick from just the Corona. This one however is very bad in just the way it makes any one everywhere very sick and the rate it multiplies. Mom waited too long to close the labs but she stopped one that was 10 times worse and presumed to kill within hours if not just a few days. Like 3 or 4 immediate death. This one now isn't designed to kill, its like mom's. But this one she stopped on Tuesday was like COVID But for every one. It was true Hell. Luckily JuJu pissed her off and she ordered it closed. Otherwise my dad would be dead and probably millions if not billions. They had the orders up,boxed and ready to ship, they just wanted to test on a human first -- my dad.

Long story short. JuJu was the test dummy..

Wendy: yeah! And he died in 4 short hours! My dad wouldn't even had time to get home and would died in his car on the road and it would looked like a generic car accident! So yeah fuck JuJu. I'll kick his ass.

Me: sounds like you did

Wendy: no that was you! Once you posted he committed suicide he knew it was a cover up Because you were just going to have him murdered so he just drank it on his own. That's what i saw.

Me: he hates women so much he committed suicide so that i couldn't have the honor of killing him. Well he only proved women are always right which has Always been my fight with him. Well we won in the end! Hoorah!

Wendy: like 17 people committed suicide that night!

Chasity: Mostly by poisons. They didn't wanna go to jail And wanted control over their own death.

Me: over all death. That's why we always tried to stop them but that was dam sneaky on JuJu

Chasity: he said it was an antidote mom so we didn't know what to do

Me: don't listen to the lab people. I said there is no cure.

Chasity: but for the Corona because we knew there was a new variant for the President of the United State's request because he's mad he is going to die of COVID. I told y'all we needed a human!

Me: well just kill any thing the Corona Variant 2 is mild

Chasity: just a wet cough. But dad got it worse than you so we we're kinda scared.

Me: well i got it at Allsups and I'm nearly over it. As long as i take cough medicine. And fever. Its less than the modern day cold and flu. Corona is literally a joy to have over regular sinus infections and bronchitis. Shit i been sick from that crap they've let loose on their labs. For months sick. This is a wonder virus. So nice to have compared to 2013 and 2014. There was no emergency anything but the cold medicine aisle was wiped out all kinds. People were sick and dying! This? I'm all sleep for awhile, cough take medicine and that's it.

Chasity: yeah well dad had it really bad i thought he was going to die

Me: but he was working out exercise and working and

Chasity: doing cardio and all. See dad? You should stay with mom. She would take care of you. Stay in bed and have chicken soup, a few push ups and repetitive weights and back to bed. You don't have to reply but I hope you're listening.

Brian: shit she takes care of me like I'm a beast! Don't touch me! Breathe over there! We will lay back to back so you know I'm here but no breathy stuff. You want sex? Die first So i don't catch what you got then come back to life after. She is funny tho. I don't mind her so much. That last time i was sick and she was with me i was all "i feel great let me go running!" Then i went back and begged her to never let me do that again!

Chasity: you wanted to die huh?

Brian: she put me in a cool bath and I fell asleep. And I woke up and she was adding hot water. Which made me sleep more. But she left me in there alone while I was asleep! She said I was too tall to drown unless she tried to kill me so she just stopped any one but the little girls from going in. But she covered me with a towel so they couldn't see my junk in the front. And i thought it was a blanket and I was all "oh she's so sweet to bring me a blankie. What the fuck! It's wet who did this to me?! Oh that water is hot. Ouch. Good thing I'm asleep that ain't me. I always turn my own water on. No girl would bathe me. Just ask JuJu Bee. Im too ugly but then again she tells,him she calls him that because bees only sting once and Then they die and she's been stung and she's just waiting for him to die and JuJu because there's no Jesus for what he's done and over all jujuBe candy is good for nothing with no nutrient value and he should shut his face or she's gonna kick it in. What a chick. Hand me that wet towel back I'm getting cold" and you know she told me "it's hot you can't tell the difference of the temperature and the towel is in your lap you never handed it out. But some things you see in your dreams are real. Your body just doesn't know it." And I seriously woke up and I shrieked "are you trying to burn me like in that book with the grandma? You're trying to burn my balls off?!?" And I heard all this laughter but I saw her face looking directly at me not at all amused but slightly sad and I got really scared "why are you such a nightmare?!?!" I seriously shrieked and i thought she would cry but she started to laugh and she got up from the edge of the tub and suddenly a rubber ducky started to float in the tub and I grabbed her arm and said "no babe look!! Did you turn into a duck?!?! No I'm grabbing your arm what am I thinking?!" And she looked down into my eyes real deep like she does and she says "you're real beautiful don't you know?" And i let go of her arm "go on go pee. But what is that laughing you have a tape recorder or something?" She said she wished because it wasn't funny then but she knew she would laugh later. Finally she told on them two, Annabelle and Declan because she adjusted the towel and I was getting ready to throw it out but she shrieked then "no!! You need it to cover up for the kids!" And I said "well where are they?" And she moved her head slightly to the left and motioned me to shh. So i pretended to be a sea monster with a pink towel over my waist and scared the dickens out of them both. Declan looked at me in horror and said I was no fun! Me! Me! Of all people. After i was nearly pissing in my tub talking in my sleep. Shit. I knew i said some bad stuff but all i could think was that it was about sex and murder. Luckily the words that came out were sober compared to what was in my head which was drunk with power.

Chasity: so you're seriously thinking it won't be so bad then? To live with mom then with me?

Brian: I mean well..yeah now JuJu is dead and so is a lot of other people it might be a possibility.

Chasity: because dad this is really important to me So don't mislead me.

Brian: well she's not So bad... She's just a lot of work!

Me: you are a lot of work. You want to treat me like a baby and do everything

Brian: No like you're a doll! But you talk back! Sheesh! A lot too I might add! That makes the work double because then i got to think!

Me: well you don't seem to listen too badly.

Brian: Oh wow! What a compliment! That is a compliment isn't it?!

Me: yeah

Wendy: im Peter Pan's wife do you remember me? Dad you need to grow up and get a wife. Quit being a bachelor. The look isn't good on you. Or on mom. Do you hear?

Brian: yeah i hear. I am listening.

Wendy: okay good. In conclusion of the virus growth we will get back to you tomorrow, general public. And dad we hope you grow over night just as Much. Mom's been typing just over an hour and no major changes to report but now we need to get the room ready and we will have that report tomorrow. Dad thanks for the talk. We always enjoy the Tales of the Man Dressed in a Pink Towel in the Bathtub.

[roslinadama-sinequanon]

Major Crimes Re-Watch-Under the Influence.

The perfect title for this episode. How mother’s influence their children is definitely the theme.

The case-Julio and Mike are giving the producer of Badge of Justice a ride along when they end up in hot pursuit through the streets of LA. When the car finally stops a young man gets out covered in blood. Whose blood is it? Is the person still alive? And why? All questions that need to be answered.

“What corruption?” 

Love snarky Julio. Because it’s become such an Andy “thing”  I’d forgotten that in the beginning nobody was all that impressed with Mike’s “Badge of Justice” . Lots of irritated Julio looks and comments during Jason’s ride along.

During the ride along, while Jason was giving Julio a synopsis of the show--how it focus's on corruption in the LAPD, planting evidence, taking bribes etc. my first thought was that instead of consulting with Mike, they should be consulting with Sharon. Sharon is surely full of stories from her days in PSB. I’m sure she’s seen and heard it all. But of course that isn't Sharon's style. She's worked very hard to repair the LAPD's reputation so I think a show like Badge would actually irritate her. 

“The sunglasses are Oliver Peoples.” 

Sharon sure does know her designer labels. 

“You are totally profiling that guy.” 

Oh Lordy, Sharon is not going to put up with you for very long. Sharon definitely doesn’t like getting second guessed, especially considering she is as “by the books” as they come. 

“Lt. Mike says there is not expectation of privacy in a police station.” 

Oh the looks. Mike, honey, watch out. Sharon is at her sassy best in this scene. Love it when Sharon gets an attitude. Here are some of my favorite Sharon lines in this scene. Of course it’s the way that Sharon says them that really makes the scene work. 

“I got this Buzz. Your phone please.” 

“Contrary to what you see on TV it takes more than an hour to get the results on DNA.” 

“He left the trunk lid in the street, littering, reckless driving and without a license and perhaps he didn't use his signal when turning.” Oh Sharon, your Andy is showing here. 

Oh and Jason's face when Sharon tells him it isn't against the law to be covered in human blood but she can bring Manuel in for the traffic violations she listed above. Sounds crazy, huh?  

Amy is still sucking up to the Captain and being pretty obvious about it. It's interesting that they brought this up again as it's been quite a while since Amy has played that role. 

“You can't undo 50 years of treating your body like a science experiment. Flynn do us all a favor and eat a hot dog.”

"Yeah well I'm not a quitter”.

 I’m sure Provenza is exaggerating the years here, but although we don’t know how old Andy is I doubt he’s been abusing his body from when he was around 8-15. I find it interesting that he makes this comment at all because Andy had always been in good shape. He works out, he's been the action guy on the team and other than his alcoholism----which he's had under control for 20 years he doesn't seem to treat his body like a science experiment. Maybe he wasn’t overly health conscious and ate some junk food during The Closer, but it sounds like Provenza is projecting here.  Provenza is the one who is overweight, out of shape (I don’t run) loves crappy junk food and is proud of it all. I have to wonder why they chose Andy to have the health issues when it would have fit much better with Provenza. But then again, how many times do we hear “I eat right, I exercise and I still got cancer, or I still had a heart attack” I could see Andy maybe wanting to lose a few pounds before his physical but Provenza makes it sound like he's a mess when that clearly isn't the case. 

"Oh I get it, you call him a potential terrorist so I can monitor him with his lawyer.”

"The national security interest of the United States trump attorney client privilege."

"Better safe than sorry." 

So here we have Sharon showing us again her extensive knowledge of the law and the way she uses those laws to get what she wants from the FBI--and best of all we have Andy right behind her backing her up again. 

“Does anyone have a minute, I'm in the middle of a huge crisis.” 

“Does this crisis involve another threatening letter?” 

Oh the immediate concern in Sharon's voice. This is obviously something that has been weighing on her mind and worrying her. And as soon as they hear hear her say this Rusty’s two father figures jump to attention and stand on alert behind Mama to help her deal with this crisis. 

"Uh no, but we were ordered to write this practice essay for our college entrance application and my English teacher completely tore mine apart.”

“Rusty that doesn't exactly sound like a crisis to me.” 

Sharon is trying to be calm rather than exasperated but dad and gramps aren't having  any of it. After sharing "You gotta be kidding me” looks Andy and Provenza walk away leaving Mom to deal with the self- centered kid. Most teens really do think the world revolves around them and tend to blow things up into high drama, but Rusty takes this to a whole other level. 

“I'm pretty sure that's a civil rights violation, listening to that guy talk to his lawyer.” 

Absolutely love the, "You take this one because I've had just about enough of Mr. Andrews", look that Sharon sends Andy’s way and the way he immediately reads what she’s saying. They behave like an old married couple here. 

"Actually Shakespeare it's not, we are following the law and if you don't believe me you can look it up. Wanna help him out Mike? He's your friend.

 Yep, Andy's got this. Love watching Sharon and Andy work as a team. And he gets the dig in to Mike as well. 

"Meanwhile we could be saving someone’s  life  and we are standing here doing nothing.”

"So as I was saying I have to do this practice essay over again because in Sister Mary's dumb opinion my subject matter was totally inappropriate and she gave me the topic herself.”  

First of all, here is Rusty in all his self- centered glory. Sharon is frustrated because she wants to save a life and he takes her comment as an opportune time to bug her about his essay, He has no respect for the fact that she's at work and has far more important things going on. I do love that Andy is there listening to the conversation.  Looking back it really does seem like they have Andy present for all the personal-life issues while Provenza is the one there for all the Stroh stuff. 

"Rusty this essay makes you sound arrogant and conceited.”  

Sorry, I just gotta say it...Oh, if only Donald Trump's mother had told him this a time or two. 

"Oh I'm sorry do you want to keep your laptop and your cellphone?

"You can't take my things away from me."

"They aren’t your things they are my things and you can only keep them while making mature decisions, which in this case means following the instruction of your teacher.” 

"Sure she's not your mom?" 

Oh she is Jason, she is. And there is Dad is standing right there enjoying watching Mom in action. Oh, and Sharon did a "tell it to the hand" as Rusty griped on. Love it. 

"I’'m upset that you ran out of business cards and I had to give her one of mine," 

:-) Provenza really does not like people. I hadn't realized the first time around just how much Andy is the one who has to handle things most of the time. 

"I can't believe you wrote all those wonderful things about me."

"Thanks. I just focused on what's important in my life.”

"No I mean I can't believe YOU wrote all those things.” 

While it might feel good to read all the nice things Rusty wrote about her, Sharon knows it didn't really come from his heart so that makes is rather meaningless. In her eyes it is cheating and we all know how she feels about that. It made me think about a future scene when Jack is so proud of the fact that he won $40,000 and wants to give her half to pay back some of the money he owed her and rather than being pleased Sharon is appalled that he would even think she’d accept money he won gambling. Again, it shows how little Jack really knows her and also that Rusty really doesn’t know her yet. Anyway, I digress. Back to the scene. 

Sharon is very good at manipulating the conversation so Rusty can see who he should be writing about without coming out and telling him he should be writing about his biological mother. By asking him, "why do you live with me, Rusty?" And letting him know that influences can be good or bad it helps him see that that although his biological mother's influence has been bad it has shaped who he is to this point and has shown him what kind of life he doesn't want to have. Now, if he were writing that paper today I think it would be very different. Five years in and considering where he is now in his life, I think Sharon would definitely be the person who has influenced him the most. 

Andy's three piece suit. I really do like the colorful suspenders but I also miss the sexy three piece suits. Wish they'd show him in both. 

"If you have to send him to Mexico, send him to Mexico, that's his problem."

---and---

"Hand my son over to the federales and let justice be done." 

Mrs. Vega just shocked the hell out of Sharon, Andy and Provenza, three veteran detectives who have heard it all. They thought they had her where they wanted her, threatening to deport her son back to Mexico where he would most surely be killed. No mother would allow that. But Rosa Vega was fine with it. Not only was she fine with it, she thought it was a fitting punishment for screwing up the job. Damn cold blooded if you ask me. Instead they decide to send Mrs. Vega back. Sending Mrs. Vega back to Mexico shows that Sharon can be ruthless when she needs to be. In fact, in this scene she reminded me of Laura Roslin sending a cylon out the airlock. But it was hard to feel sorry for Mrs. V. She got what she deserved. 

Amy giving Andy the chips-How sweet.  I like that it was Amy who did it because she is the newest member of the team and this shows how they are all really gelling and looking out for each other as families do.  

With Rusty's essay about Sharon Beck as the last scene, we have a portrait of three mothers and how they have shaped their children.  

Rosa Vega- She is the lowest of the low. She led her son into a life of crime that culminated with him murdering people and ending up in jail for the rest of his life. She was a woman who would have allowed her son to be killed to save her own hide. 

Sharon Beck- The only reason I don't rank SB as low as Rosa is because she is a drug addict and much of what she did to Rusty was due to her addiction. Of course that doesn't excuse what she did or make it okay in any way, but it does make her a little less cold blooded than Rosa. Let’s see what kind of mother SB is. She allowed her boyfriends to beat up her son. She OD'd in front of him when he was just a little boy more than once. She abandoned him at the zoo so he had to sell himself to survive. When the police found her she promised to come home and take care of him only to steal the money he’d raised for her bus fare and disappear again. Once arrested, she lashes out at him and tells him the reason she became a drug addict was because she knew he was gay and was sickened by it. When he continues to visit her in jail she asks him to prostitute himself again to get her money. I have no doubt that Sharon Beck would have sold Rusty off to Mexico if it meant her getting the drugs she wanted. She is better now that she is sober, but she is still an immature, needy manipulative bitch IMO.  

Sharon Raydor- The only one who provides a positive influence.Sharon who stepped in to mother Rusty after his abandonment. Sharon with her unconditional love, her boundaries, her moral guidance and her effort into giving Rusty a stellar education which has all contributed to keeping him from either ending up another dead homeless kid or from  becoming another Manuel Vega. Who knows what would have become of Rusty had he not ended up with Sharon. As Cynthia said, he was like a feral cat when Sharon took him in, and after more years on the streets who knows how hardened he would have become. 

So, we can see through these women just how important a mother’s influence really is. 

On a lighter note, I love Sharon's look in the last scene. The comfy cardigan and messy upswept hair is so much better than the zipped to the chin blue sweater and weird ponytail from season 1.

ʲ1�9�

[shareyoursmile]

True Concessions: Our Movie-Snacking Behaviors, Ex...

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True Concessions: Our Movie-Snacking Behaviors, Ex...

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[Illustrations: Vivian Kong]

Serious Eats staffers work very closely together, if not always in the same room—but, as in all healthy long-term relationships, we somehow still manage to surprise each other, in good ways, bad ways, and purely head-scratching ways. A very long and aggrieved Slack thread unspooled once we discovered some potentially embarrassing gaps in each other’s eating histories: Until recently, Stella had never eaten a classic NYC bacon, egg, and cheese, and Niki was unclear on the proper use of a Panera-style bread bowl. The revelation that, despite repeated admonishments on this very site, only a few of us actually owned a mortar and pestle prompted similar outrage (from Kenji, at least).

One of the latest rabbit holes of confession and mock shaming we threw ourselves down revolved around our respective movie snacks of choice—not just the specific items we like to munch on in the theater, but where we get those snacks from, and whether we even snack at all. If that doesn’t sound like something to get all worked up about—well, it isn’t, but that’s never stopped us before. It turns out that we, and perhaps all moviegoers, divide pretty neatly into four distinct camps, with very little crossover: those who buy the typical popcorn, boxed candy, and big sodas at the theater’s concession stand; those who don’t eat at the movies, period (really!); those who sneak in their own modest, easily hidden snacks; and those who make a point of smuggling in the biggest or messiest or otherwise most outlandish spreads they can muster. (Of course, “outlandish” is a relative term—one of us seemed surprised to learn that a bottle of Champagne qualified.) Since it’s Oscar season, a time when lots of us try to cram in as many theater outings as possible, we figured we’d take the opportunity to share the shocking results of our internal survey.

The Sushi Smuggler

Growing up, I thought the phrase “dinner and a movie” was actually “dinner at the movies.” Sure, we’d occasionally sneak in traditional snacks, like cheesy popcorn and cans of soda, but if the movie happened to coincide with a mealtime, we packed accordingly. My family’s go-to movie theater dinner was sushi—something I didn’t contemplate much at the time, but I now see it as a stroke of unparalleled genius on my parents’ part. A prepackaged roll combo is, without doubt, the Platonic ideal of a stealthy movie theater meal.

Before you roll (no pun intended) your eyes, consider the following: It’s compact, and thus easy to hide at the bottom of a purse; it’s sufficiently odorless to avoid attracting attention or offending your neighbors’ sensibilities; it is, if properly selected, devoid of any crunch, making it a virtually silent, interruption-free dining experience; the pieces are bite-size and therefore can be eaten with your hands, minimizing the potential mess of eating, say, noodles, in the dark; and it’s a cinch to clean up and dispose of without attracting notice as you exit the theater. (I should add that I’ve also been known to bring along a cleverly concealed bottle of wine to wash things down.) My husband finds the whole sushi/sneaking-in-food thing gross and embarrassing, so these days we tend to go to theaters that actually serve all sorts of fancy food and alcoholic beverages above board. But, as the saying goes, when the cat’s away, the mouse goes to the movies and stuffs her face with sushi. —Niki Achitoff-Gray, executive managing editor

The Cherry Picker

The rest of the Serious Eats team judged me pretty harshly on my pick, but I stand by it: fresh sweet cherries. Sure, they’re messier than other snacks, you have to have somewhere (that isn’t the theater floor) to spit out the pits, and they’re not what one would consider an indulgent snack, but I’m hooked. A, they’re delicious. B, the act of eating them takes some time, so they last longer than the popcorn you mindlessly shovel into your mouth. C, they’re good for you! —Vicky Wasik, visual director

The Traditionalists

I’m not an avid movie theater–goer, but every so often, I will indulge in a little weekday-afternoon alone time in a near-empty, darkened room illuminated by brightly colored, flashing images, accompanied only by a bucket of ultra-fake-buttered and salted popcorn on one side and, on the other, a Coke in a giant plastic vessel that could fit a bathing infant. The expense I gladly eat, literally and financially, for the illicit thrill invoked by residual school-age guilt for “playing hooky” and doing something so luxurious and truant. Everyone’s gotta get their kicks somehow, right? —Marissa Chen, office manager

I have to start by saying that I’m a pretty fast movie-snack eater—so much so that when I was little, my dad would ration my popcorn by putting a handful in my lap at a time. Otherwise, it would be gone a few minutes after the previews. That said, as an adult, I am 100% dedicated to Milk Duds, and, while I hate paying for them, I do anyway. I know my colleagues may look upon my choices with disdain, but alas: I buy my Milk Duds at the concession stand, like a total sucker. Then I eat them all before the movie even starts. —Ariel Kanter, marketing director

I believe the majority of the fun of going to the movies is to hit up the concession stand. I’m that person who arrives 30 minutes early to stock up on overpriced cardboard boxes of Mike and Ike and Sour Patch Kids—because I’m convinced they taste better out of a box. I’ve broken up with boyfriends solely because they took the thrifty route and chose to buy snacks at the bodega across the street instead. However, I’m a strict non-eater once the movie actually starts—the snacks are all about the pregame, to nosh on while watching the previews and side eye–ing anyone who tries to snag the seats in front of me. —Sohla El-Waylly, assistant culinary editor

I love movies, but more than that, I love the experience of going to the theater. It’s not just that it offers me an excuse to opt out of social media and email for a few hours, nor is it really about the superior picture and sound (even a basic theater is better than my garage-turned-den). It’s not just the excitement of seeing a brand-new release, and it’s definitely not about sitting with fellow theater-goers (thanks, guy sitting next to me during Black Panther who felt compelled to read every single piece of on-screen text out loud). It’s about one thing, or rather, one greasy bag of many things: movie theater popcorn. I’m attracted to the smell of diacetyl and coconut fat—the secret combination of artificial flavorings that produces that distinct movie theater aroma—like my daughter, Alicia, is attracted to the dogs’ water bowl. I can make all the promises to myself I want about saving room for dinner, but those promises go out the window as soon as I step through those doors. My feet start heading for the concession stand, and the rest of my body has no choice but to follow.

This is not a secret. Movie theater popcorn is my go-to comfort food. That I get to watch a film every time I eat it is just the icing on the cake (or the diacetyl on the kernels, perhaps). —J. Kenji López-Alt, chief culinary consultant

The Cheapskates

Listen. Just last night, I didn’t prepare before going to the movies. I am now out $13.95 for a medium popcorn and a bottle of water. This is the polar opposite of my M.O., which is to shamelessly sneak my own bag of popcorn and seltzer into the theater. My usual strategy is to pick a theater near a Trader Joe’s, so I can stop in and get a bag of cheddar cheese popcorn, or their insanely delicious Cornbread Crisps, and a Cranberry Clementine seltzer. And those crisps make a bomb vehicle for transporting your homemade chili to your mouth. Trust me. No local TJ’s? A bag of Buncha Crunch and a Sprite from the drugstore will do. —Kristina Bornholtz, social media editor

Like all right-thinking Americans, I was raised to believe that sneaking food into the movies is as natural and healthy as a long walk in the sunshine, and that buying concessions at the theater is for chumps. It helps that I’m not wild about popcorn and instead gravitate toward Junior Mints, Combos, and Raisinets, all of which are conveniently available at the Dollar Tree that’s a stone’s throw from our default movie theater in Atlanta (and you know that location isn’t an accident). And, while I’ve never ventured to smuggle anything more elaborate than a deli sandwich into an indoor cinema, no rules of restraint apply when we visit the Starlight Six Drive-In, a blessed local relic from another time, where summertime patrons regularly tote in full coolers of beer and Weber grills for a tailgate/movie night hybrid. —Miranda Kaplan, editor

You will rarely find me in a concession line: I’m too cheap for those overpriced goods, and too paranoid about candy-induced sugar highs. Not the biggest fan of popcorn, either; my junk food needs an edge. My ideal movie date involves a quick bodega trip beforehand, where I procure seltzer and—wait for it—pretzel M&M’s. That is my junk-food staple. I tell myself they aren’t as bad as regular M&M’s, and they hit my requirement for a savory/sweet combo. The seltzer is key, too—like clockwork, a pending movie stirs a deep thirst in me for carbonated water. Sitting through a movie whilst thirsty and hungry is my personal version of a horror film. —Natalie Holt, video producer

I’ve discovered that using your kid as a candy mule is the white lie of retail economy. I wasn’t always like this. I used to be an honest, upstanding citizen, like you. For most of my adult life, I either purchased popcorn or, more often, didn’t eat at all. But, once we got married, my wife started sneaking candy into the theaters to quell her sweet tooth and—well, I’m not turning down Twizzlers. Who would?

When we first started bringing our daughter to the movies, we’d casually present the goods after the previews. Now that she’s older, she’s part of the scam/effort. We have a perfect record of sneaking in candy because, really, is the high school kid ripping stubs while he checks out Instagram going to stop a seven-year-old and poke her coat? I load up on a package of some chocolate-covered nut, my wife keeps it classic with M&M’s, and my daughter’s the wild card—sometimes it’s gummy bears, or it could be Reese’s Pieces. —Sal Vaglica, equipment editor

If it were just me, I wouldn’t be eating anything. I’m too cheap to even glance at the outrageously priced concession stand items, and too lazy and bagless to smuggle snacks in. My significant other is often not bagless, however, so when we go together, we sneak all kinds of things in. My favorite is the massive, Costco-sized bag of M&M’s: easy, clean, delicious. The most memorable snack we’ve ever brought was a full bag of Hurricane popcorn, which technically we smuggled all the way from Hawaii. The Li Hing–flavored version is vibrantly red, and we did not bring napkins, which made for a messy-fingered second half of the movie. Totally worth it, but word of advice: No matter what you bring, prep for the mess. —Tim Aikens, front-end developer

The Takeout Taker-Inner

When we were—well, I won’t say kids, since I was old enough to drive, but…younger than we are today, my brother and I were notorious for sneaking Chinese takeout into the movie theater. I’m talking pot stickers, egg rolls, spicy noodles, kung pao tofu, scallion pancakes, the works. We’d just stuff all the containers inside this gargantuan yellow puffer coat he had (ah, the ’90s), using it like an insulated pizza-delivery bag. As it turns out, those iconic Chinese takeout containers are just the right size to nestle down into a movie theater cup holder, so we’d set up a little buffet using four consecutive arm rests. Chopsticks made it easy to eat in the dark, and we’d pass the containers between us during brightly lit scenes.

In warmer weather, lacking the proper outerwear for smuggling, we’d stick to popcorn (extra “butter,” please) and Milk Duds. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

The Killjoys

If I could ban all eating in movie theaters, I would. I don’t want to hear some sloppy-ass mofo smacking on popcorn in my ear when I’m trying to watch a movie. I’d give up all snacks for silence. All you movie-theater eaters can BURN IN HELL. (I have issues.) —Daniel Gritzer, managing culinary director

I’m cheap. I also don’t like candy. I’m not a big fan of popcorn, either. I smuggle in a water bottle, but then I drink from it only if I’m terribly, terribly parched, because the one thing I hate more than watching a movie in a packed theater is having to get up to go to the bathroom in a packed movie theater. Sometimes I’ll bring with me a small, smooth stone, which I will suck on from time to time, and sometimes swallow, if the movie is going long and I’m really bored. I’ve had that stone for 10 years now. —Sho Spaeth, features editor

I’m almost always on the do-not-eat team—I’d rather spend my $20 on better food before or after the movie (I see you, Battery Park Shake Shack!). But occasionally, I succumb and buy popcorn and a Coca-Cola Classic. Ideally, this happens at a theater with self-service “butter,” and, even more ideally, I’ll get a cardboard tray to help me shift the popcorn around, so I can properly spread said butter to the deepest reaches of the bag. —Paul Cline, developer

I only snack on chips and anything crunchy, but the sound of me munching distracts me from the movie. So, no snacks. —Vivian Kong, product designer

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True Concessions: Our Movie-Snacking Behaviors, Ex...

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True Concessions: Our Movie-Snacking Behaviors, Ex...

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[Illustrations: Vivian Kong]

Serious Eats staffers work very closely together, if not always in the same room—but, as in all healthy long-term relationships, we somehow still manage to surprise each other, in good ways, bad ways, and purely head-scratching ways. A very long and aggrieved Slack thread unspooled once we discovered some potentially embarrassing gaps in each other’s eating histories: Until recently, Stella had never eaten a classic NYC bacon, egg, and cheese, and Niki was unclear on the proper use of a Panera-style bread bowl. The revelation that, despite repeated admonishments on this very site, only a few of us actually owned a mortar and pestle prompted similar outrage (from Kenji, at least).

One of the latest rabbit holes of confession and mock shaming we threw ourselves down revolved around our respective movie snacks of choice—not just the specific items we like to munch on in the theater, but where we get those snacks from, and whether we even snack at all. If that doesn’t sound like something to get all worked up about—well, it isn’t, but that’s never stopped us before. It turns out that we, and perhaps all moviegoers, divide pretty neatly into four distinct camps, with very little crossover: those who buy the typical popcorn, boxed candy, and big sodas at the theater’s concession stand; those who don’t eat at the movies, period (really!); those who sneak in their own modest, easily hidden snacks; and those who make a point of smuggling in the biggest or messiest or otherwise most outlandish spreads they can muster. (Of course, “outlandish” is a relative term—one of us seemed surprised to learn that a bottle of Champagne qualified.) Since it’s Oscar season, a time when lots of us try to cram in as many theater outings as possible, we figured we’d take the opportunity to share the shocking results of our internal survey.

The Sushi Smuggler

Growing up, I thought the phrase “dinner and a movie” was actually “dinner at the movies.” Sure, we’d occasionally sneak in traditional snacks, like cheesy popcorn and cans of soda, but if the movie happened to coincide with a mealtime, we packed accordingly. My family’s go-to movie theater dinner was sushi—something I didn’t contemplate much at the time, but I now see it as a stroke of unparalleled genius on my parents’ part. A prepackaged roll combo is, without doubt, the Platonic ideal of a stealthy movie theater meal.

Before you roll (no pun intended) your eyes, consider the following: It’s compact, and thus easy to hide at the bottom of a purse; it’s sufficiently odorless to avoid attracting attention or offending your neighbors’ sensibilities; it is, if properly selected, devoid of any crunch, making it a virtually silent, interruption-free dining experience; the pieces are bite-size and therefore can be eaten with your hands, minimizing the potential mess of eating, say, noodles, in the dark; and it’s a cinch to clean up and dispose of without attracting notice as you exit the theater. (I should add that I’ve also been known to bring along a cleverly concealed bottle of wine to wash things down.) My husband finds the whole sushi/sneaking-in-food thing gross and embarrassing, so these days we tend to go to theaters that actually serve all sorts of fancy food and alcoholic beverages above board. But, as the saying goes, when the cat’s away, the mouse goes to the movies and stuffs her face with sushi. —Niki Achitoff-Gray, executive managing editor

The Cherry Picker

The rest of the Serious Eats team judged me pretty harshly on my pick, but I stand by it: fresh sweet cherries. Sure, they’re messier than other snacks, you have to have somewhere (that isn’t the theater floor) to spit out the pits, and they’re not what one would consider an indulgent snack, but I’m hooked. A, they’re delicious. B, the act of eating them takes some time, so they last longer than the popcorn you mindlessly shovel into your mouth. C, they’re good for you! —Vicky Wasik, visual director

The Traditionalists

I’m not an avid movie theater–goer, but every so often, I will indulge in a little weekday-afternoon alone time in a near-empty, darkened room illuminated by brightly colored, flashing images, accompanied only by a bucket of ultra-fake-buttered and salted popcorn on one side and, on the other, a Coke in a giant plastic vessel that could fit a bathing infant. The expense I gladly eat, literally and financially, for the illicit thrill invoked by residual school-age guilt for “playing hooky” and doing something so luxurious and truant. Everyone’s gotta get their kicks somehow, right? —Marissa Chen, office manager

I have to start by saying that I’m a pretty fast movie-snack eater—so much so that when I was little, my dad would ration my popcorn by putting a handful in my lap at a time. Otherwise, it would be gone a few minutes after the previews. That said, as an adult, I am 100% dedicated to Milk Duds, and, while I hate paying for them, I do anyway. I know my colleagues may look upon my choices with disdain, but alas: I buy my Milk Duds at the concession stand, like a total sucker. Then I eat them all before the movie even starts. —Ariel Kanter, marketing director

I believe the majority of the fun of going to the movies is to hit up the concession stand. I’m that person who arrives 30 minutes early to stock up on overpriced cardboard boxes of Mike and Ike and Sour Patch Kids—because I’m convinced they taste better out of a box. I’ve broken up with boyfriends solely because they took the thrifty route and chose to buy snacks at the bodega across the street instead. However, I’m a strict non-eater once the movie actually starts—the snacks are all about the pregame, to nosh on while watching the previews and side eye–ing anyone who tries to snag the seats in front of me. —Sohla El-Waylly, assistant culinary editor

I love movies, but more than that, I love the experience of going to the theater. It’s not just that it offers me an excuse to opt out of social media and email for a few hours, nor is it really about the superior picture and sound (even a basic theater is better than my garage-turned-den). It’s not just the excitement of seeing a brand-new release, and it’s definitely not about sitting with fellow theater-goers (thanks, guy sitting next to me during Black Panther who felt compelled to read every single piece of on-screen text out loud). It’s about one thing, or rather, one greasy bag of many things: movie theater popcorn. I’m attracted to the smell of diacetyl and coconut fat—the secret combination of artificial flavorings that produces that distinct movie theater aroma—like my daughter, Alicia, is attracted to the dogs’ water bowl. I can make all the promises to myself I want about saving room for dinner, but those promises go out the window as soon as I step through those doors. My feet start heading for the concession stand, and the rest of my body has no choice but to follow.

This is not a secret. Movie theater popcorn is my go-to comfort food. That I get to watch a film every time I eat it is just the icing on the cake (or the diacetyl on the kernels, perhaps). —J. Kenji López-Alt, chief culinary consultant

The Cheapskates

Listen. Just last night, I didn’t prepare before going to the movies. I am now out $13.95 for a medium popcorn and a bottle of water. This is the polar opposite of my M.O., which is to shamelessly sneak my own bag of popcorn and seltzer into the theater. My usual strategy is to pick a theater near a Trader Joe’s, so I can stop in and get a bag of cheddar cheese popcorn, or their insanely delicious Cornbread Crisps, and a Cranberry Clementine seltzer. And those crisps make a bomb vehicle for transporting your homemade chili to your mouth. Trust me. No local TJ’s? A bag of Buncha Crunch and a Sprite from the drugstore will do. —Kristina Bornholtz, social media editor

Like all right-thinking Americans, I was raised to believe that sneaking food into the movies is as natural and healthy as a long walk in the sunshine, and that buying concessions at the theater is for chumps. It helps that I’m not wild about popcorn and instead gravitate toward Junior Mints, Combos, and Raisinets, all of which are conveniently available at the Dollar Tree that’s a stone’s throw from our default movie theater in Atlanta (and you know that location isn’t an accident). And, while I’ve never ventured to smuggle anything more elaborate than a deli sandwich into an indoor cinema, no rules of restraint apply when we visit the Starlight Six Drive-In, a blessed local relic from another time, where summertime patrons regularly tote in full coolers of beer and Weber grills for a tailgate/movie night hybrid. —Miranda Kaplan, editor

You will rarely find me in a concession line: I’m too cheap for those overpriced goods, and too paranoid about candy-induced sugar highs. Not the biggest fan of popcorn, either; my junk food needs an edge. My ideal movie date involves a quick bodega trip beforehand, where I procure seltzer and—wait for it—pretzel M&M’s. That is my junk-food staple. I tell myself they aren’t as bad as regular M&M’s, and they hit my requirement for a savory/sweet combo. The seltzer is key, too—like clockwork, a pending movie stirs a deep thirst in me for carbonated water. Sitting through a movie whilst thirsty and hungry is my personal version of a horror film. —Natalie Holt, video producer

I’ve discovered that using your kid as a candy mule is the white lie of retail economy. I wasn’t always like this. I used to be an honest, upstanding citizen, like you. For most of my adult life, I either purchased popcorn or, more often, didn’t eat at all. But, once we got married, my wife started sneaking candy into the theaters to quell her sweet tooth and—well, I’m not turning down Twizzlers. Who would?

When we first started bringing our daughter to the movies, we’d casually present the goods after the previews. Now that she’s older, she’s part of the scam/effort. We have a perfect record of sneaking in candy because, really, is the high school kid ripping stubs while he checks out Instagram going to stop a seven-year-old and poke her coat? I load up on a package of some chocolate-covered nut, my wife keeps it classic with M&M’s, and my daughter’s the wild card—sometimes it’s gummy bears, or it could be Reese’s Pieces. —Sal Vaglica, equipment editor

If it were just me, I wouldn’t be eating anything. I’m too cheap to even glance at the outrageously priced concession stand items, and too lazy and bagless to smuggle snacks in. My significant other is often not bagless, however, so when we go together, we sneak all kinds of things in. My favorite is the massive, Costco-sized bag of M&M’s: easy, clean, delicious. The most memorable snack we’ve ever brought was a full bag of Hurricane popcorn, which technically we smuggled all the way from Hawaii. The Li Hing–flavored version is vibrantly red, and we did not bring napkins, which made for a messy-fingered second half of the movie. Totally worth it, but word of advice: No matter what you bring, prep for the mess. —Tim Aikens, front-end developer

The Takeout Taker-Inner

When we were—well, I won’t say kids, since I was old enough to drive, but…younger than we are today, my brother and I were notorious for sneaking Chinese takeout into the movie theater. I’m talking pot stickers, egg rolls, spicy noodles, kung pao tofu, scallion pancakes, the works. We’d just stuff all the containers inside this gargantuan yellow puffer coat he had (ah, the ’90s), using it like an insulated pizza-delivery bag. As it turns out, those iconic Chinese takeout containers are just the right size to nestle down into a movie theater cup holder, so we’d set up a little buffet using four consecutive arm rests. Chopsticks made it easy to eat in the dark, and we’d pass the containers between us during brightly lit scenes.

In warmer weather, lacking the proper outerwear for smuggling, we’d stick to popcorn (extra “butter,” please) and Milk Duds. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

The Killjoys

If I could ban all eating in movie theaters, I would. I don’t want to hear some sloppy-ass mofo smacking on popcorn in my ear when I’m trying to watch a movie. I’d give up all snacks for silence. All you movie-theater eaters can BURN IN HELL. (I have issues.) —Daniel Gritzer, managing culinary director

I’m cheap. I also don’t like candy. I’m not a big fan of popcorn, either. I smuggle in a water bottle, but then I drink from it only if I’m terribly, terribly parched, because the one thing I hate more than watching a movie in a packed theater is having to get up to go to the bathroom in a packed movie theater. Sometimes I’ll bring with me a small, smooth stone, which I will suck on from time to time, and sometimes swallow, if the movie is going long and I’m really bored. I’ve had that stone for 10 years now. —Sho Spaeth, features editor

I’m almost always on the do-not-eat team—I’d rather spend my $20 on better food before or after the movie (I see you, Battery Park Shake Shack!). But occasionally, I succumb and buy popcorn and a Coca-Cola Classic. Ideally, this happens at a theater with self-service “butter,” and, even more ideally, I’ll get a cardboard tray to help me shift the popcorn around, so I can properly spread said butter to the deepest reaches of the bag. —Paul Cline, developer

I only snack on chips and anything crunchy, but the sound of me munching distracts me from the movie. So, no snacks. —Vivian Kong, product designer

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New Post has been published on https://jmuo.com/true-concessions-our-movie-snacking-behaviors-ex/

True Concessions: Our Movie-Snacking Behaviors, Ex...

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[Illustrations: Vivian Kong]

Serious Eats staffers work very closely together, if not always in the same room—but, as in all healthy long-term relationships, we somehow still manage to surprise each other, in good ways, bad ways, and purely head-scratching ways. A very long and aggrieved Slack thread unspooled once we discovered some potentially embarrassing gaps in each other’s eating histories: Until recently, Stella had never eaten a classic NYC bacon, egg, and cheese, and Niki was unclear on the proper use of a Panera-style bread bowl. The revelation that, despite repeated admonishments on this very site, only a few of us actually owned a mortar and pestle prompted similar outrage (from Kenji, at least).

One of the latest rabbit holes of confession and mock shaming we threw ourselves down revolved around our respective movie snacks of choice—not just the specific items we like to munch on in the theater, but where we get those snacks from, and whether we even snack at all. If that doesn’t sound like something to get all worked up about—well, it isn’t, but that’s never stopped us before. It turns out that we, and perhaps all moviegoers, divide pretty neatly into four distinct camps, with very little crossover: those who buy the typical popcorn, boxed candy, and big sodas at the theater’s concession stand; those who don’t eat at the movies, period (really!); those who sneak in their own modest, easily hidden snacks; and those who make a point of smuggling in the biggest or messiest or otherwise most outlandish spreads they can muster. (Of course, “outlandish” is a relative term—one of us seemed surprised to learn that a bottle of Champagne qualified.) Since it’s Oscar season, a time when lots of us try to cram in as many theater outings as possible, we figured we’d take the opportunity to share the shocking results of our internal survey.

The Sushi Smuggler

Growing up, I thought the phrase “dinner and a movie” was actually “dinner at the movies.” Sure, we’d occasionally sneak in traditional snacks, like cheesy popcorn and cans of soda, but if the movie happened to coincide with a mealtime, we packed accordingly. My family’s go-to movie theater dinner was sushi—something I didn’t contemplate much at the time, but I now see it as a stroke of unparalleled genius on my parents’ part. A prepackaged roll combo is, without doubt, the Platonic ideal of a stealthy movie theater meal.

Before you roll (no pun intended) your eyes, consider the following: It’s compact, and thus easy to hide at the bottom of a purse; it’s sufficiently odorless to avoid attracting attention or offending your neighbors’ sensibilities; it is, if properly selected, devoid of any crunch, making it a virtually silent, interruption-free dining experience; the pieces are bite-size and therefore can be eaten with your hands, minimizing the potential mess of eating, say, noodles, in the dark; and it’s a cinch to clean up and dispose of without attracting notice as you exit the theater. (I should add that I’ve also been known to bring along a cleverly concealed bottle of wine to wash things down.) My husband finds the whole sushi/sneaking-in-food thing gross and embarrassing, so these days we tend to go to theaters that actually serve all sorts of fancy food and alcoholic beverages above board. But, as the saying goes, when the cat’s away, the mouse goes to the movies and stuffs her face with sushi. —Niki Achitoff-Gray, executive managing editor

The Cherry Picker

The rest of the Serious Eats team judged me pretty harshly on my pick, but I stand by it: fresh sweet cherries. Sure, they’re messier than other snacks, you have to have somewhere (that isn’t the theater floor) to spit out the pits, and they’re not what one would consider an indulgent snack, but I’m hooked. A, they’re delicious. B, the act of eating them takes some time, so they last longer than the popcorn you mindlessly shovel into your mouth. C, they’re good for you! —Vicky Wasik, visual director

The Traditionalists

I’m not an avid movie theater–goer, but every so often, I will indulge in a little weekday-afternoon alone time in a near-empty, darkened room illuminated by brightly colored, flashing images, accompanied only by a bucket of ultra-fake-buttered and salted popcorn on one side and, on the other, a Coke in a giant plastic vessel that could fit a bathing infant. The expense I gladly eat, literally and financially, for the illicit thrill invoked by residual school-age guilt for “playing hooky” and doing something so luxurious and truant. Everyone’s gotta get their kicks somehow, right? —Marissa Chen, office manager

I have to start by saying that I’m a pretty fast movie-snack eater—so much so that when I was little, my dad would ration my popcorn by putting a handful in my lap at a time. Otherwise, it would be gone a few minutes after the previews. That said, as an adult, I am 100% dedicated to Milk Duds, and, while I hate paying for them, I do anyway. I know my colleagues may look upon my choices with disdain, but alas: I buy my Milk Duds at the concession stand, like a total sucker. Then I eat them all before the movie even starts. —Ariel Kanter, marketing director

I believe the majority of the fun of going to the movies is to hit up the concession stand. I’m that person who arrives 30 minutes early to stock up on overpriced cardboard boxes of Mike and Ike and Sour Patch Kids—because I’m convinced they taste better out of a box. I’ve broken up with boyfriends solely because they took the thrifty route and chose to buy snacks at the bodega across the street instead. However, I’m a strict non-eater once the movie actually starts—the snacks are all about the pregame, to nosh on while watching the previews and side eye–ing anyone who tries to snag the seats in front of me. —Sohla El-Waylly, assistant culinary editor

I love movies, but more than that, I love the experience of going to the theater. It’s not just that it offers me an excuse to opt out of social media and email for a few hours, nor is it really about the superior picture and sound (even a basic theater is better than my garage-turned-den). It’s not just the excitement of seeing a brand-new release, and it’s definitely not about sitting with fellow theater-goers (thanks, guy sitting next to me during Black Panther who felt compelled to read every single piece of on-screen text out loud). It’s about one thing, or rather, one greasy bag of many things: movie theater popcorn. I’m attracted to the smell of diacetyl and coconut fat—the secret combination of artificial flavorings that produces that distinct movie theater aroma—like my daughter, Alicia, is attracted to the dogs’ water bowl. I can make all the promises to myself I want about saving room for dinner, but those promises go out the window as soon as I step through those doors. My feet start heading for the concession stand, and the rest of my body has no choice but to follow.

This is not a secret. Movie theater popcorn is my go-to comfort food. That I get to watch a film every time I eat it is just the icing on the cake (or the diacetyl on the kernels, perhaps). —J. Kenji López-Alt, chief culinary consultant

The Cheapskates

Listen. Just last night, I didn’t prepare before going to the movies. I am now out $13.95 for a medium popcorn and a bottle of water. This is the polar opposite of my M.O., which is to shamelessly sneak my own bag of popcorn and seltzer into the theater. My usual strategy is to pick a theater near a Trader Joe’s, so I can stop in and get a bag of cheddar cheese popcorn, or their insanely delicious Cornbread Crisps, and a Cranberry Clementine seltzer. And those crisps make a bomb vehicle for transporting your homemade chili to your mouth. Trust me. No local TJ’s? A bag of Buncha Crunch and a Sprite from the drugstore will do. —Kristina Bornholtz, social media editor

Like all right-thinking Americans, I was raised to believe that sneaking food into the movies is as natural and healthy as a long walk in the sunshine, and that buying concessions at the theater is for chumps. It helps that I’m not wild about popcorn and instead gravitate toward Junior Mints, Combos, and Raisinets, all of which are conveniently available at the Dollar Tree that’s a stone’s throw from our default movie theater in Atlanta (and you know that location isn’t an accident). And, while I’ve never ventured to smuggle anything more elaborate than a deli sandwich into an indoor cinema, no rules of restraint apply when we visit the Starlight Six Drive-In, a blessed local relic from another time, where summertime patrons regularly tote in full coolers of beer and Weber grills for a tailgate/movie night hybrid. —Miranda Kaplan, editor

You will rarely find me in a concession line: I’m too cheap for those overpriced goods, and too paranoid about candy-induced sugar highs. Not the biggest fan of popcorn, either; my junk food needs an edge. My ideal movie date involves a quick bodega trip beforehand, where I procure seltzer and—wait for it—pretzel M&M’s. That is my junk-food staple. I tell myself they aren’t as bad as regular M&M’s, and they hit my requirement for a savory/sweet combo. The seltzer is key, too—like clockwork, a pending movie stirs a deep thirst in me for carbonated water. Sitting through a movie whilst thirsty and hungry is my personal version of a horror film. —Natalie Holt, video producer

I’ve discovered that using your kid as a candy mule is the white lie of retail economy. I wasn’t always like this. I used to be an honest, upstanding citizen, like you. For most of my adult life, I either purchased popcorn or, more often, didn’t eat at all. But, once we got married, my wife started sneaking candy into the theaters to quell her sweet tooth and—well, I’m not turning down Twizzlers. Who would?

When we first started bringing our daughter to the movies, we’d casually present the goods after the previews. Now that she’s older, she’s part of the scam/effort. We have a perfect record of sneaking in candy because, really, is the high school kid ripping stubs while he checks out Instagram going to stop a seven-year-old and poke her coat? I load up on a package of some chocolate-covered nut, my wife keeps it classic with M&M’s, and my daughter’s the wild card—sometimes it’s gummy bears, or it could be Reese’s Pieces. —Sal Vaglica, equipment editor

If it were just me, I wouldn’t be eating anything. I’m too cheap to even glance at the outrageously priced concession stand items, and too lazy and bagless to smuggle snacks in. My significant other is often not bagless, however, so when we go together, we sneak all kinds of things in. My favorite is the massive, Costco-sized bag of M&M’s: easy, clean, delicious. The most memorable snack we’ve ever brought was a full bag of Hurricane popcorn, which technically we smuggled all the way from Hawaii. The Li Hing–flavored version is vibrantly red, and we did not bring napkins, which made for a messy-fingered second half of the movie. Totally worth it, but word of advice: No matter what you bring, prep for the mess. —Tim Aikens, front-end developer

The Takeout Taker-Inner

When we were—well, I won’t say kids, since I was old enough to drive, but…younger than we are today, my brother and I were notorious for sneaking Chinese takeout into the movie theater. I’m talking pot stickers, egg rolls, spicy noodles, kung pao tofu, scallion pancakes, the works. We’d just stuff all the containers inside this gargantuan yellow puffer coat he had (ah, the ’90s), using it like an insulated pizza-delivery bag. As it turns out, those iconic Chinese takeout containers are just the right size to nestle down into a movie theater cup holder, so we’d set up a little buffet using four consecutive arm rests. Chopsticks made it easy to eat in the dark, and we’d pass the containers between us during brightly lit scenes.

In warmer weather, lacking the proper outerwear for smuggling, we’d stick to popcorn (extra “butter,” please) and Milk Duds. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

The Killjoys

If I could ban all eating in movie theaters, I would. I don’t want to hear some sloppy-ass mofo smacking on popcorn in my ear when I’m trying to watch a movie. I’d give up all snacks for silence. All you movie-theater eaters can BURN IN HELL. (I have issues.) —Daniel Gritzer, managing culinary director

I’m cheap. I also don’t like candy. I’m not a big fan of popcorn, either. I smuggle in a water bottle, but then I drink from it only if I’m terribly, terribly parched, because the one thing I hate more than watching a movie in a packed theater is having to get up to go to the bathroom in a packed movie theater. Sometimes I’ll bring with me a small, smooth stone, which I will suck on from time to time, and sometimes swallow, if the movie is going long and I’m really bored. I’ve had that stone for 10 years now. —Sho Spaeth, features editor

I’m almost always on the do-not-eat team—I’d rather spend my $20 on better food before or after the movie (I see you, Battery Park Shake Shack!). But occasionally, I succumb and buy popcorn and a Coca-Cola Classic. Ideally, this happens at a theater with self-service “butter,” and, even more ideally, I’ll get a cardboard tray to help me shift the popcorn around, so I can properly spread said butter to the deepest reaches of the bag. —Paul Cline, developer

I only snack on chips and anything crunchy, but the sound of me munching distracts me from the movie. So, no snacks. —Vivian Kong, product designer

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