#and apparently i am the only! person! in! this! three! person! apartment! who! gives! a! fuck! that! we! are!! being!! taken!! over !!!

[imaredshirt]

Pretty sure i have a fucking roach infestation in my fucking kitchen im gonna burn EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND

[rey-129-fan]

Gotham-Amity Co-op AU Part 3

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“Hola beauties, and welcome back to Fashionable History, I’m Paulina,”

“And I’m Star, and on this channel, we teach you how to be at the height of fashion, no matter what time period you find yourself in.”

“Now for our long-time viewers who missed our community posts, you might be wondering about the change in location.  Well, we are moving up in the world.  That’s right, fam, we are officially-

“College girlies!” The two shouted into the camera.

“Ah, such a big step,” ‘Star’ sighed.

“Indeed it is.  And to celebrate, let us dress up like we’re going to meet the queen of fashion herself: Marie Antoinette!”

***

“So you would think it would be hard to demonstrate Amity Park’s weirdness while no longer living there, but you would be wrong,” a black man said into the camera while walking down a hallway, his glasses fallen ever so slightly down his nose.  There were voices in the background progressively getting louder.  “You see, Danny’s mentor popped by this morning, and apparently, he decided that the perfect way to tutor Danny and piss off his bosses at the same time was to allow a bunch of college kids to summon a historical figure of their choosing to discuss their area of expertise.  Once a week.

“Jazz got to go first.”

The black man stopped in a doorway.  Much clearer in the background was a woman’s even voice.  “And Jazz, being the future psychologist that she is, picked the most sex-obsessed man in history.”

The camera flipped to show a young red-head sitting across an older man with a white beard in a blue three piece suit.  In the background was a younger man, his blue eyes glazed over as he sat there sipping from his mug, his head of black hair bobbing as he fought to stay awake.  Really, it wouldn’t gather a second glance, except for the tiny detail that the older man’s skin was as green as a sunburnt person’s was red.

“-indeed homosexuality is not an illness, and in fact the only link between it and mental health has been observed to be caused by familial and community reactions.”

“That is good to hear.  Indeed, many people throughout history were homosexual, and a lot of them did not show any other signs of mental illnesses.”

“It is.  However, with the recent pushes for public acceptance of those not heterosexual, many have come forward with sexual orientations beyond just hetero and homosexuality, including those that are attracted to both men and women at the same time, as well as those who experience no sexual attraction or are completely repulsed by the idea of anything sexual.”

The camera flipped back to the first man.  “She is explaining how psychology has developed in the last 100 years without trying to rip apart Freud’s work.

“This isn’t even the first time something like this has happened.  Occasionally, we’d get guest speakers that would turn out to be some famous author or pioneer in their field.  It’s how our English teacher got his copy of the Tempest signed by the original author.  I think this might be the first one that won’t end in a raid by government idiots in white, though.

“So yeah, we occasionally get to talk to dead celebrities and don’t bat an eye at it.  Amity Park is very weird.”

***

“Danny!  You left your cups in the sink again!”

“How can you tell it’s mine?”

“They’re glowing green and you’re the only one that drinks ectoplasm!  Now take care of them before you bring the food to life again!”

“Fine…”

The camera pans over to a goth woman giving the camera a flat look.  On screen, there’s some text that reads: ‘When your boyfriend forgets to clean off his dishes after his mildly radioactive smoothies.’

***

“Urgh!” Just die you stupid, lazy skeleton!”

“How long is this attack going to be!”

“I don’t care, because when it’s finally my turn, I am going to stab the dust out of this depressed sack of bones!”

On screen was a couch, and on that couch sat 3 young adults, two women and one man.  One of the women was Valarie Gray, US National Taekwondo Silver Medalist, was jabbing her thumb down on the d-pad of her controller, lips pulled back in a snarl.  The other was Samantha Manson, more known for the TikTok channel Our Strange Lives.  The man was a muscular blond.  All three were focusing on the screen, their eyes emitting faint light and Valarie’s teeth seemed to be getting sharper.

Quietly a blond woman walked on screen, a backpack slung over her shoulder.  The woman was Star Strong from Fashionable History.

“You guys are still streaming?”

“This boss is stupid difficult and Manson and Gray are the only ones willing to play.”

“What happened to the guys?”

“Fowley, Wes, Singh all had work.  Fenton got to the first boss and then lost it because ‘Goat Mom just wanted to protect us’ before getting a call from his lil sis asking for help.  Kwan is working on a lab with a guy from his chem class, and Kyle passed out a couple hours ago.”

“Stop dodging!”

“Wanna play?”

“Can’t.  Going to the library to study for a calc exam I have coming up.  See you guys later.”

“Later.”

“FUC-”

***

“And so, with this polaroid image, we have evidence to prove that-”

“Hey, Wes, do you have something I can use for a collage?  Oh sweet, thanks bro!”

“What?  No!  Kyle!  Get back with that! That was the proof I was going to use to prove the existence of Yetis!”

“Oh damn.  This is some nice creature work!  Danny, your friend has an incredible costume, man!”

“Thanks, Kyle!  I’ll pass it on!”

***

Tim paused the video right as Wesley Weston stood to chase his older brother.

There.

The red-head’s eyes had a slight glow to them.  Tim clicked over to the other images he had gathered of the Amity Park teens, all with their eyes glowing or other signs of something inhuman.

Tim had been introduced to this group by Stephanie when she found a martial arts demonstration Gray did that involved breaking multiple boards, all several feet above her head.  Stephanie had meant it as a ‘check out his cool person doing what we’re doing,’ but Tim noticed something.  All the boards were being held by seemingly the same person- or at least people dressed very similarly.  And not in a way where they’re sitting on a ledge above Gray and are switching out the board each time she broke one.  More that there were multiple companies of the same white glove all holding a board and all floating several feet above where they should have been.  That was already a little weird, but it could’ve been some special effects or just a uniform.

No, what caught Tim’s attention was the quick glimpse of the face of one of the board holders.  It was youthful- late teens- but with paper white hair that showed no signs of bleaching.  Now these features would have been a thing to cement the mysterious person in Tim’s mind.  But it wasn’t that.

No, what got Tim to do some digging to find out about a previously unknown supposed hero from a small town that has been blacked-out by the US government, was his eyes.

His calm, glowing Lazarus green eyes.

***

So we finally get a taste for the shenanigans our liminals are up to. Sam, Tucker, and Danny all share a TikTok where they show off how weird the other two are and how weird their town is. Wes is trying to prove cryptids exist, which Kyle ruins. Dash has a gaming stream that most often Kwan joins in on, and Paulina and Star do dress history. Oh, and Valarie is a national taekwondo because karate has only been an event for one Olympic games, but taekwondo has been an event since 2000 and Val seems more like a kicker than a thrower. Plus, I actually took taekwondo when I was younger.

We do get another Bat showing up at the end. There is absolutely no plot, however, so who knows where this is going. Certainly not me!

I'm still looking for names (please, I need them). As for majors:

Jazz-Psych (obviously)

Kyle- Liberal Arts (I wanna put him in accounting, but Liberal Arts works for now)

Tuck- Comp Sci

Danny- Poly Sci, minor in Astronomy

Sam- Double Poly Sci and Environmental Science

Val- Criminal Justice

Dash- Undecided (both me and him)

Kwan- Pre-Med for now, though he wants to do Child Development/Education

Paulina- Fashion Marketing

Star- Sports Science

Mikey- Music

Wes- Journalism

[bvtbxtch]

I Can Make You Scream | Eddie Munson

Day Three of Kinktober

Summary: Your first collaboration (a Halloween special) with one of the most popular cam boys, Eddie, leaves you breathless and waiting for the next shoot with him.

wc: ~6.7k (I got excited)

Pairings: camboy!Eddie/pornstar!Eddie x camgirl!reader

Warnings: This is literally all smut minimal plot, so 18+ MDNI!! Cam sex, blood and biting, fangs, lingerie, spitting, markup, overstimulation, not being able to cum, light bondage (restraining hands), softdom!Eddie, choking, oral (f and m receiving), overstimulation, squirting, protected p in v sex (wrap it up, folks). This is purely porn with a plot.

Shout out to my darling partner @darknesseddiem who will be posting their 15 prompts later in October. It is my honour to collab with you!

The knock at the door sent lightning bolts straight to your core. You hurry your way to the front door, ensuring to check that your makeup and hair looked perfectly effortless. You took a deep breath to exhume any last minute nerves before you opened your door. 

-

You had moved to Indianapolis from Detroit for school, but very quickly found out the hard way that college was not your thing. Now being stuck with the bill for a new apartment and no scholarships to foot the cost, you had to do what you always had thought about doing. At least now you had an excuse, right? You uploaded your ID and personal information to camwow.com, one of the most popular porn cam sites in the states. You bought yourself a new magic wand from the sex store down the road and took the plunge. Little by little, you gained a following. Money, brand deals and collaborations flooded through you. But the one rule you made for yourself, was you would only do solo work. 

Things changed when you looked at your private inbox. There sat a message that you had to look at four or five times to make sure it was real. The name “metalhead_munson” with a little blue checkmark sat bolded in your inbox, the subject stating plainly: hey :) You had heard of Eddie before, he was only one of the most famous cam workers on the site. Eddie’s message was professional - transactional almost:

I caught one of your shows the other night and was thoroughly impressed. I was going to be in the Indianapolis area on the 30th. My management is giving me a couple of days of free time and I would love to film with you. We could film on my channel and we could split profits 50/50. I would link your profile in the livestream so hopefully we can get your followers up. If you could give me the number to your agent so we can set this up, that would be great.

Cheers,

Eddie Munson.

Your heart raced as you read and reread the message. You didn’t have an agent. You barely knew what you were doing… but he was impressed? Did that mean that he was turned on? Did a huge cam star jack off to your stream? After hours of screaming into your pillow, dancing around your living room and staring at the email, you conjured up a response. 

Hello Eddie! Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot coming from such a big personality on the site like yourself. I unfortunately don’t have any agent contacts but I would love to work with you - thank you for the opportunity! I am free any time around halloween, but was planning a themed stream, if you’re interested?

You signed the message with your phone number and encouraged him to call or text you any time. You couldn’t deny that you hoped he would call. You had seen Eddie’s stream before, it often gracing the front page on camwow. The girls that he often had on his stream were beautiful, more beautiful than you, you imagined. But apparently you knew how to work your body in a way that got you some recognition. So you thought, fuck it? Why not see where this might lead. 

It was 2am when you received a call from an LA area code. You hastily picked up the phone and put on the sweetest most professional voice you could muster up.

“Hello?” You breathed.

“Hey, um is this Y/N?” The baritone rasp had your breath caught in your throat.

“Yeah, that’s me.” you let out a nervous giggle.

“Hey, It’s Eddie. I just wanted to touch base about the messages on camwow. You still up for it? I’d love to meet you.” His voice made your blood run cold. Even over the phone, the man oozed confidence and sex appeal. You couldn’t help but be intimidated. 

“Cool, yeah I would like that a lot. Umm, what did you think about the halloween theme I had thought about? If it’s stupid, we don’t have to but if you wanna I’d-”

“That’s a great idea, honey.” honey “I got a few ideas. I’ll text them to you, okay?”

“Cool, yeah. Sweet..” You were tripping over your own words, your brain short circuiting from the pet name. 

“Great, doll. Don’t be too nervous, okay? I know this is your first collaboration, but we can go slow if you want.” Although there was a lightness to his tone, you didn’t feel judged. You took a deep breath and thanked the man on the other end of the phone. You stayed frozen on the line long after he had hung up, unsure as to what had just happened. You’d see him on October 30th.

The next day Eddie had sent you four or five ideas that he had based around your halloween special. You both agreed on one and as much as the anticipation was killing you, your belly swirled with aroused excitement. You couldn’t wait for the two weeks it would take for Eddie’s arrival.

-

You swung your door open and your heart skipped a beat when you looked at the sight in front of you. There stood the man you had lost sleep over. He loomed over you in the frame of your door, but his lopsided smile eased your nerves. He donned a loose fitting white tee just sheer enough that you could see faint dark tracings of ink on his torso. His alabaster skin complimented the purple and green veins adorning his hands. The man twisted the chunky rings on his right hand. Your mouth watered thinking about where those fingers might be within the next few hours…

“You gonna let me in, or what?” His grin spread to a shit eating smile that immediately made you feel at home in your body. You gave the man a puzzled look as he shuffled past you into your space. Embellishing his canine teeth were fangs. Eddie noticed your confusion.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. They’re fake and they won’t hurt… that much” You follow him into your apartment as he takes in the sights. There was something magnetic about the mop headed man. You followed him around your puppy even though you were in your own house. You snapped out of your daze to remember you also needed to be (at least) a competent host.

“Can I get you anything to drink or anything?” you ask. He politely waved you off as he plops down on your sectional. 

“It’s a nice place you got here, doll.”

“Uh, thanks.” You awkwardly shuffled towards Eddie and sat yourself on the opposite edge of the couch. 

“So, I usually like to go over what we will and won’t do before we go get comfortable. Is that okay?” Eddie offered. There was no sense of annoyance or impatience with you. He was the perfect gentleman, which was making it harder and harder to focus on functioning like a normal human being.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I mean, I haven’t really done this before… but I guess I’m down for anything as long as we kind of chat about it first.” Eddie laughed at your bluntness. You hid your face in your hands and let out a soft giggle. You were nervous and embarrassed but not by him. Eddie rose to his feet and offered out his hands to you. You peered out of your hands and grabbed him with a curt smile. You let him pull you up and you suddenly felt breathless while he was invading your space; but it wasn’t a nervous energy. It was new and scary but you felt oddly at ease with the gorgeous stranger in front of you.

“Wanna show me to your studio?” he said with a wink and a genuine smile. You dropped your hands from his and began to walk to your room - which you had spent hours cleaning leading up to Eddie’s visit. You even went as far as getting new bedding to make your room look ‘cooler’.

You opened your door and let Eddie take in the sights. He took a few steps into your room and hovered to your small bookshelf nestled in the corner of your room. He eyed over your bed, cameras decorating different sides of the bed, their wires treading to your computer. Then his eyes softened when his eyes trailed to you, standing in the middle of your room, hands locked together in anticipation. God he couldn’t wait to devour you, but there was another foreign pang in his chest. 

“You okay? You still wanna do this, right?” Eddie stepped towards you, nervous that you were going to change your mind. 

“No! No, god no” You blurted, maybe a bit too aggressively. “I just…I just don’t know where to start.”

“Well before we turn on the camera, we should get more comfortable,” Eddie offered. You nod your head enthusiastically as the man stalks towards you, coming almost chest to chest with you.

“Can I kiss you?” His eyes looked pleading. You stared up at him with your bright eyes and he felt that pang in his chest again.

“Y-yeah.” you gasp. Eddie’s hands trailed up to your cheeks and he brought his face close to yours, giving you a split second to pull away from him if you wanted. You closed your eyes in anticipation of a forceful kiss, but you almost flinched in surprise of the man’s lips caressing yours. His lips were soft and warm, you felt like you could melt into him. His touches were careful, like he didn’t want to scare you off. You both pulled away and you couldn’t help the smile that grew across your face. You were surprised to see the same one mirrored on the brunette’s face. He cleared his throat and gestured to the bag sitting in your living room. 

“So, I uh- I brought costumes - like not crazy ones, but something just a bit different… you know, to add to these…” The man smiled and pointed to his prosthetic fangs. 

“Y-yeah, I did too, if that’s okay.”

“Sure. I’ll go to the bathroom and change, and I’ll leave you to it. Just open the door when you’re ready for me, okay, Honey?”

“Yeah, sure Eddie,” You gave Eddie a warm smile and he turned to leave you. “Um, Eddie? I uh…. I wanted to let you know that the main reason I do my cam stuff alone is because I have some performance anxiety.” You looked down at your socked feet in anticipation. You half expected Eddie to laugh and walk away; but he was suddenly back and tilting so your eyes were met with his deep brown ones.

“Doll, there’s no pressure at all. Let me make you feel good and if you come, I’ll be stoked. But if you don’t then we can stop and never talk again. Or if you just wanna stop let me know, okay?” You couldn’t sense any judgment in Eddie’s tone or his eyes. You felt dumb for blindly trusting someone you only just met in person. Eddie sauntered out of your room and gently shut the door. You turned to your closet to grab the dainty lingerie hanging neatly on the rack. You slid your jeans and tee off of your body and crumpled them into your hamper. You take off your panties and bra and quickly slide the teddy over your body. You stepped foot into your ensuite to give yourself one final look over and you couldn’t help but bite your lip in admiration. 

The soft pink lace held your tits in place, giving you a delicious cleavage. The corseted bodysuit hugged your waist perfectly, while the lace detailing let a small peak of your skin embellish the lingerie. The frilly lace straps adorn your shoulders that made you look almost virginal. Perfect. The small mesh skirt emphasized your waist. You turned to look at your ass, looking perky and perfect. You looked perfect. It was just what a vampire needed for a sacrifice.

You padded out of your ensuite to your bedroom door. You opened it and called for Eddie to join you whenever you were ready. You sat yourself at your computer and booted up camwow.com. You hated to admit, but your heart was in your chest. You shook with excitement and anticipation. You felt Eddie’s presence in the frame of your bedroom door and you turned to look at him. Your breath caught in your throat while you drank in his form.

He stood leaned tall over your doorframe. His pale skin was now on full display, highlighted by small drips of fake blood. It seemed, to your delight,  he forgot a shirt for his new costume. His toned abs framed a well trimmed treasure trail to where you wanted to see him the most. Highlighting his bulge were a pair of leather pants that caressed his curves perfectly.  His curly hair laid on his broad shoulders. He looked like an adonis. His eyes darkened as he bathed in your appearance, but his lips fell slightly open in awe. 

“Well don’t you look good enough to eat” Eddie teased as he kneels onto your bed. 

“I could say the same to you, Eddie.” your voice was saccharine sweet. Eddie couldn’t wait to hear how sweet your moans would sound…

“So, we’re all set up camera wise, if you just wanna log into your account, we’ll be good to go.” You stood up from your desk chair and Eddie’s brain short circuited. You looked delicious and he couldn’t wait to make you fall apart. He played it cool as he switched you spots and you perched on the edge of your bed. 

“So, I have some rope and stuff too… is that okay?” Eddie’s voice had become thick with lust. He could hardly contain myself. You hummed in agreement. “Oh, and… I gotta say, doll. You’re looking delectable, but there’s a big part of me that wants to rip that thing off you. You okay if I tear up that little number? I’ll buy you a new one.” His eyes turned from the screen and looked pleading, like he would die if he didn’t get the chance. Lucky for him, the thought of him ripping clothes off you went straight to your core. 

“Yeah… I’m sure we can make something work.” You giggle. Unable to control your giddy anticipation. Eddie raised slowly from the computer, and you saw the small red light appear on the cameras fixed around the bed. It was show time. 

“You tell me red light if you need me to stop, okay?” Eddie’s voice rasped, just above a whisper. “We’re gonna start and I’m gonna move a little fast. You ready?” He stood above you at the end of the bed, his chest was heaving. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears as you nodded up at him.

“Use your words, pretty girl.”

“Yes, Ed-”

“That’s sir to you, unless you want to be punished.” Eddie’s voice thickened with pure sex, making a shiver travel down your spine. 

“Yes, sir.”

Eddie leaned down by the end of the bed and grabbed two pieces of black velvet rope. Before you could compute what he had in his hands, he was climbing onto the bed on top of you, pushing you back towards your headboard. 

“Good girl. Make this easy and it won’t hurt as much. I’m hungry…” Eddie growled, his eyes fixed on you, pupils dilated like you really were his prey. He grabbed your wrists with one hand and slammed them above you onto your headboard. He tied one of the velvet ropes tightly around your wrists. You finally caught your breath and were able to comprehend what was happening. The boldness washed over you as you let go of your anxieties. You gave Eddie a devilish smirk then instantly twisted your face into one of horror.

“Please sir, don’t hurt me. I promise I’ll be good and do whatever you want.” You saw Eddie flinch at your words like they were wax burning his skin: a surprise, but a welcome and unexpected one.

“Keep your hands there and I won’t have to tie you down further then.”

“Yes, sir.”

Eddie smiled widely to reveal his fangs to the camera positioned at the side of your bed. He held his hands up to your throat and pressed down just enough to send static to your brain. You felt the cool sting of his rings that he kept on his body, but felt another surprise: adorning his pointer and middle fingers were rings that rested on his upper knuckle and formed into pointed claws. The sharpness sent another type of coolness across your skin. The glint of the metal poked into your neck and you hissed as Eddie continued to press into you. The delicious feeling of oxygen deprivation is topped only when Eddie presses his mouth to yours. You moan into him, all of your body already felt under the mop head’s control. 

Eddie’s mouth moved expertly against you, breaking the seal your mouths had to give you brief moments of breath. He pushed his tongue further into your mouth and you felt your body go numb, all feeling going to your already throbbing core. You wrestled with Eddie’s tongue in your mouth, eliciting a moan from him. You couldn’t wait to watch your recording back again and again just to hear his moan. Eddie bit down onto your lip and pulled hard. You whimpered at the sting and you tasted a metallic tang in your mouth. You went to lick your lips to rid of the small slit of blood sitting on them but Eddie grabbed your jaw and ran his tongue across your lips with a satisfied moan. Eddie looked you deep in the eyes, a silent check in, and what he saw filled him with excitement that went straight to his hardening cock. Your eyes had darkened with lust, already kiss drunk from him.

Eddied trailed his kisses from the side of your mouth to your jaw, to the pulse point by your ear. His mouth was saccharine sweet on your skin, like it belonged there. But in true Eddie fashion (as you’re learning), the sweet was often mixed with heat. You were just melting into his touch when Eddie took a hard bite down on your neck, eliciting a yelp of pain from you. You could feel two small streams of cool liquid trickle down your neck. You began to hyperventilate from overwhelm. Eddie softly grabbed your cheek for you to lock eyes with him.

“Relax angel, the hard part is over. You’re doing so well for me, I gotta be good to my girl… especially…” Eddie leans down to your neck and takes a long swipe up the side of your neck. “When you taste so good” The man’s smile was now tinged with the red of your blood. The lust had finally taken over your body and you happily submitted. You pulled Eddie’s mouth to yours feverishly. You pushed your tongue into his mouth. Your sweet mouth was now tainted with your own metallic taste. When Eddie pulled away, you both looked in satisfaction at your matching stained lips. It took Eddie a moment to compose himself and remember he had a scene to shoot. He sat himself up on his calves and ran his clawed fingers across your collarbone with enough pressure to send a constellation of goosebumps to form across your skin.

“I think we should get this off of you, so I can see you better.” Eddie groaned as he traced his fingers between the valley of your lace-covered breasts. You looked at him dough eyed and scared, but there was a glimmer of lust and wanting in your eyes. You really were going to drive Eddie insane. 

With a quick flick of his wrist, and added pressure to (what he was beginning to think was) your offending garment, to rip down the middle of your torso to your belly button, exposing your hardening nipples. You let out a gasp, the lines of fear and lust blurring further. Eddie’s mouth was immediately on your sensitive skin, his mouth danced across your left nipple while his hand pinched your right. You were barely cognisant of the small bead of blood still dripping down your torso. Eddie kissed his way down your stomach to the meeting of where your body was bare and clothed. He sat back up in fake disdain. 

“Now, this won’t do. I gotta taste that pretty pussy after your sweet blood. You need a reward, and I need my dessert” 

“Please Ed-”

“Ah, ah ah….” Eddie interrupted. His hands hovered over your hips. You were desperate for him to touch you, little did you know, Eddie was desperate to drop this facade and feel you clench around him.

“Please, sir. Touch me, please.” You whined. Eddie was happy to oblige you. He let a low chuckle escape his chest. 

“Since you asked so sweetly, and since I can see that you have already wet through these little panties you got on, I need to taste you.” Eddie took his claws and hooked the mesh covering your pubic bone and dragged down. Once he had a big enough hole he removed his clawed rings and tore the whole crotch of your lingerie. The cool air hitting your core made you shiver. You were suddenly more self conscious than you were before. You instantly remembered that you were on display not only for Eddie but for thousands of people. Almost immediately, Eddie looked up from between your thighs.

“Hey” he whispered quietly enough that cameras couldn’t pick his rasp up. “It’s just you and me, okay?” You gave him a small nod to keep going. 

Eddie quickly turned his gaze back to your glistening core. He pressed a smaller, gentler bite into the flesh of your thigh, eliciting a moan that was music to Eddie’s ears. He liked the mix of pleasure and pain, but hearing your gasps of pure ecstasy was something he definitely thought he could get used to… but he couldn’t think about that right now - wanting to spend more time with you. It was time to use you like a plaything. Plus, how did he know that you would ever want to see him again. 

He shook his head to physically shake the idea from his mind and ran his middle finger through the middle of your slit, which made you a moaning mess for him yet again. Eddie turned himself to the camera and held up his hands with your slick on it. 

“Look at how messy she is for me.” he popped his finger into his mouth and sucked down “mmmm, and so sweet too.” he cooed. He ran two of his fingers back into your folds and stuck them deep into your mouth. You moaned at your own taste, spurring Eddie on further. 

“Oh, my little dinner date is a slut, eh? I guess that means we should treat you like the succubus you are.” Eddie’s words went straight to your core and you clenched on nothing. Eddie let out a low chuckle into the apex of your thigh, sending shivers up your spine in anticipation. You silently begged for him to touch you where you wanted him the most. Your hips bucked in a last ditch plea for relief - and Eddie luckily gave it to you. 

With little warning, Eddie’s mouth attached to your clit and sucked hard. Eddie’s mouth worked expertly at your core, his tongue probing you in ways you didn’t know were possible. You were almost embarrassed, you were a moaning mess underneath him; but you felt too good to care. Your vision was going fuzzy and your chest heaving. You couldn’t help the elicit moans escaping you. You couldn’t help but make eye contact with the camera and you couldn’t help but let a smile escape you.

Your smile was wiped from your cocky face when Eddie stuck his tongue deep in you. Your eyes crossed and your breath hitched. It felt like you were being suffocated with pleasure. Your tied hands flew to Eddie’s hair and you pulled hard, desperate for something to ground you. Eddie moaned into your pussy and you could feel your finish rapidly approaching. You made the mistake of looking down at the mess of hair between your legs and the sight you saw flew you over the edge. The slender hips that sprawled across your bed were rutting into your mattress, his back heaving in desperation. Your blood ran white hot, stars flashed over your vision. A euphoric groan was ripped from your chest. Eddie’s assault didn’t let up once the waves of pleasure became overwhelming. Eddie moaned into your cunt as he tasted your essence. You shuddered under him as you pulled up on his hair, in an attempt to seize his raid on your body. 

“Awww, was that too much for my little plaything?” Eddie growled. His hand flew up to your neck as he crawled his way back up your body. The pressure he squeezed onto you made another flutter flow directly to your lower stomach. Eddie had a talent of pushing you dangerously close to the edge of unconsciousness - a sense of bliss and fear all in one. Your fucked out face looked delicious to Eddie, still stained red with your blood. He leaned down and smashed his mouth into yours. You could taste the remnants of your orgasm and his desperation forcing its way into your mouth. You pulled away with a gasp and looked up at Eddie with your best puppy dog eyes. 

“Can I taste you now, please? Please sir?” you croaked. Eddie could come in his pants right now. He took a gulp and sent you an ear splitting, fanged smile. Willing away his urge to cum in his pants, he took some deep breaths while he undid his tight pleather pants and shimmied them down his lithe waist. His hard cock sprung free and Eddie let out an audible sigh of the relief it brought him. Your hands automatically drifted towards the man’s waist a mere inches away from you.You felt a sting against your wrists as Eddie slammed them back against your wall. You felt your shoulders scream at you from their sudden hyperextension. Eddie barked a dark laugh as you pouted. 

“Play things don’t get to touch. They get to be used.” Eddie ordered. He reached his free hand to tilt your neck backwards to give him purchase for another love bite. You cried out as hot blood trailed back down your clavicle. Eddie pulled away and his face looked similar to yours: your own crimson blood dripping down his chest. 

“Open.” He demanded. Your bottom lip quivered but you obey the man over you. You stick your tongue out. Eddie places his reddened cock onto the flat of your tongue in a hiss of pleasure. His tip felt heavy on your tongue; a salty sweetness that you were instantly addicted to. He was thick, his length equally impressive, and an anxious excitement panged in your throat thinking about how he was going to fit. Eddie slowly slid himself further into your mouth. He ignored your silent pleas to let you adjust to him in your mouth and continued to push into you until your nose was nestled against his manicured bundle of hair at the base of his cock. Your eyes pricked with tears and your throat closed around Eddie’s cock - eliciting a low groan from him. You are granted a brief moment of relief when Eddie slid his cock back out of your mouth, only for your deep gasp of air to be interrupted by him slamming back into your mouth, making you gag and making his dick twitch. Suddenly, Eddie grabbed the camera on the closest tripod and pointed it down at your face. 

“Look at this good girl… taking me so well.” The camera framed (what Eddie thought was) your perfect face, suctioned around Eddie’s cock. He stilled inside you, giving you an opportunity to suck hard and swirl your tongue around his tip. His precum dripped down your throat. Tears freely flowed down your cheeks. Your throat was screaming at you, your nostrils flared in desperation for air. Your throat constricted and relaxed around your scene partner.

You were in pain, his cock stretching your mouth to the absolute breaking point. You looked up and into the man’s gorgeous brown eyes in search for any more praise - begging for any movement, pleading for some sort of release. As much as your body was screaming at you, you had given yourself over to absolute pleasure. You loved the pain, the submission. In that moment, you knew you would do anything for Eddie - anything he asked any time. In that moment, there was a deeper connection than just two people fucking. You were his and he knew it. He could do anything with you, but he wanted to worship you just as much as you were worshiping him. He fastened the camera back onto the tripod, unsheathed himself from you and flopped onto his back beside you.

“Come on then, doll. Show me how much you want me.” Before Eddie’s words could leave his mouth, you were back on him, but you took it slow this time. Your doe eyes had darkened and you were ready to show him just how much you wanted him.

Your tongue ran up the underside of his achingly hard cock. Eddie hissed out praise as you wrapped your lips around Eddie’s tip and hollowed your cheeks. You hummed in satisfaction against him as you bobbed your head. Every suck, every kitten lick, you poured your heart into. You were hypnotized, obsessed, by the moans and praises escaping the head of curls on your bed. You thought he looked like a painting; ringlet curls splayed across your pillows like a crown, flexed biceps framing his face like a beautiful frame, his shirtless torso mimicked that of a marble statue. His abs flexed a contoured trail down to his member, his alabaster skin strewn with black markings. The finishing detail of this piece of art was the blood - your blood stained on his chin and neck. It was like your own signature on this masterpiece.

You were snapped out of your trance by two large hands cupping the sides of your face. His cool rings were like small slaps to your face. 

“As much as I want you to taste me, doll, I need to cum in that pussy. I need to mark you as my own.” Eddie untied your wrists and pulled you up so you were face to face and on top of him.

“I just got to get a condom” he whispered in your ear, ensuring the camera couldn’t pick up your conversation.

“Don’t. I got birth control” you purred, you kissed the sides of his mouth down to his neck.

“A-are you sure, doll? I mean I’m clean but I don’t want you to feel obliged.”

“Eddi- I mean - sir, I want you to cum inside me please. Make me yours.” You knew you were playing a role. This was all for show, but some of it felt real. There was truth in the words you spoke to him. You wanted to be his fully. 

Eddie slid himself up your headboard and he pulled your thighs up towards him so you were straddled on top of him.

“Okay, doll. Show me how well you ride that cock and you won’t get another bite tonight.” Eddie challenged. You agreed, it would be a challenge. Eddie was the largest guy you have ever been with. The wave of intimidation and nervousness flowed through you again. You felt a tight squeeze on your hips and Eddie’s eyes prodded for your gaze. When his golden brown irises met your glowing green ones, he gave you a reassuring nod. It was just the two of you.

You lowered yourself onto Eddie’s cock, slowly sheathing him inside you. You couldn’t control your eyes rolling to the back of your head. You felt deliciously full and you had only lowered yourself halfway. You could tell Eddie was concentrating on keeping his cool. His brows were furrowed and his tongue peeked through his blood stained lips. Beads of sweat were beginning to form under his curly bangs. Eddie peered up at you and immediately lost his composure. His grip became bruising on your hips and he slammed your body into his, pulling moans from both of you. 

Your eyes screwed shut in a mix of pleasure and pain. Your mouth hung open in a crooked smile. Your chest heaved, Eddie was worried your lungs were going to burst out of your chest. The shards of your lingerie dangled behind you like angel wings. An angel you were. Eddie had never felt this way about one of his conquests before. His heart was racing because of the thought of the money he was going to make from this gig, but he now felt another infatuation with you.

“Show me how you ride a cock, babe. Take that cock.” he cooed. You ground down on him, the friction of his base on your clit sent tingles all across your body. Eddie squeezed harder on your hips to ground himself. It was now his turn to be self conscious. He was going to bust way quicker than he wanted to if he didn’t find something to calm him down. He couldn’t look at you - his eyes insisting on staying screwed shut. He helped guide your hips up and down on his cock. 

“Fuck, sweetheart. You’re taking me so well. Squeezing me so tight… f-fuuuck it’s like your pussy was made for my cock, eh?” his assault of praises went straight to your core and yet again you felt yourself teetering closer and closer to the edge. Eddie’s name was like a hymn, you couldn’t say anything other than ‘Eddie’ and ‘please’. A satisfied smile ripped across Eddie’s face. His fangs glinted underneath you. The man snaked his dexterous fingers to where your bodies met. A few expert circles around your sensitive clit had you seeing stars again. You clenched down on Eddie’s cock, hurling Eddie dangerously close to his own release as well, but he wasn’t done with you. He guided your hips to grind down to guide you through your orgasm. 

Before you have time to come down from your high, Eddie flipped you over so he was looming over you.

“You have one more for me don’t you, pretty girl?”

“E-Edd, Sir I… I don’t think I can.” Eddie could look at your fucked out frown all day. Little did you know, he was studying every detail of your face so he could remember it later.

“Well sure you can. You’re gonna show me right now.” Eddie’s voice was more soothing than before. His face had softened slightly and his eyes were bright. He pulled your left thigh above his shoulder to assault your pussy at a deeper angle. Eddie’s rhythm was relentless and quick. Your sensitive pussy was quivering already, and had little to no time to recover from your previous orgasm.

“E-Eddie oh my god.” The angle of his cock hitting your g spot repeatedly had a whirlpool of pleasure and pain brewing in your core. You felt like you were going to float away. Eddie pulled himself out of you, making you whine from the emptiness. His cock was quickly replaced with his fingers and your legs dropped around Eddie’s waist. He angled his middle and pointer finger expertly inside you. If you thought his cock was relentless, Eddie’s fingers were just as, if not faster. The palm of his hand rubbed against your clit and you screamed out in overstimulation. You didn’t know if you wanted the assault to stop or to go harder. 

The wind was knocked from your chest as Eddie’s other hand pushed down on your pubic bone. With a yelp, you felt a white hot flash like you had never felt before. Your body shook and it felt like molten lava was coursing through your veins. 

“Fuck yeah, baby! That’s it, fucking good girl.” Eddie’s excitement was palpable. He stuck his cock back into you to feel you contract and flutter around him. Just your comedown was enough to make Eddie cum inside you. He pumped cautiously, cumming hard but using the shred of control he had to make sure he didn’t hurt you. He pulled out slowly, and leaned forward to give you a tender kiss on the forehead. Soon he collapsed beside you, both of you a mess of heavy breathing, your release, and his. 

Eddie guided you to sit up in front of a camera.

“Show them your neck, doll. Show them how good you did for me.” You craned your neck to the side, turning your face towards Eddie’s. The man reached out and cupped your cheek. You couldn’t help but melt into his touch. He then stood up for your computer and ended your stream.

“Sorry… I, I’ve never done that in my life…” your cheeks flourish in a red blush as you begin to explain to the man standing in front of you, pants now lazily covering his softening erection.

“Doll, I know you didn’t mean to. I wanted you to do that for me. It was fucking hot” Eddie reached for your hands and helped you up. You fell against his chest, your legs too weak to fully hold you up.

“Invoice me for some new sheets, okay?” Eddie winked at you. “Come on, let’s get you in the shower and let’s clean up.” 

You grabbed clean towels for the both of you as Eddie warmed the water to the shower. You sheepishly climbed in and waited for him to join you. You thought the man would fuck you, get up and then leave with as little as a ‘see you’... or a ‘you’re welcome’. But he stayed, and seemed like he genuinely wanted to stay. He helped wash you off, the warm water washing away any insecurities you felt after your shoot. You both talked about how much you enjoyed yourselves and how well you did for your first partner scene.

“I can’t lie champ, I’m pretty impressed.” Eddie poked at you while you both sat on your couch, pizza on the way, a blanket enveloping both of you in more warmth.”Sorry about your neck, though.” Eddie nervously chuckled and ran his hands through his damp curls. You grabbed Eddie’s hand and redirected his energy to you.

“Eddie. I liked it. I would have told you if I didn't, I promise. It was honestly the best sex I’ve had.” You admitted with a small blush highlighting your cheeks. To your surprise, Eddie’s face was redder than yours. 

“Can I ask you something kind of insane?” Eddie asked.

“What’s up, Eddie?”

“Can I kiss you? Like actually kiss you?” His eyes were pleading, he was already starved of your lips on his. He wanted to show you how much he liked being around you, even if you had only been together a half a day. You nodded slowly, a shy smile reaching your lips, but adoration in your eyes. 

Eddie’s lips were soft and gentle against yours. He didn’t want to scare you off by being too forceful. His mouth melded to yours like he was the only person you were meant to kiss. His arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you in close. His hand migrated up your face to softly cup your cheek. Time had slowed down and the only thing that mattered was the boy you were attached to; once a stranger, to someone you didn’t want to be without within the span of a few hours. 

“So, I can only extend my stay in town for a couple of days.” Eddie whispered after (begrudgingly) pulling his mouth from yours. “Can I take you out tomorrow?”

“Yeah, Eddie. I would like that… as long as you leave the fangs in your suitcase next time.”

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[moodymisty]

Hi there! Big fan of your primarch fanfic, and I have a Guilliman request. (Because I am obsessed with this man.) I would love a Guilliman + FemReader fic where our favorite calm, reserved primarch goes FERAL after seeing his lover hurt or threatened. Bonus points if said lover finds it surprisingly sexy and NSFW times result. Thank you!

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's note: therhxkffkfkfkf I love angry Primarchs

Relationships: Roboute Guilliman/Fem!Reader

Warnings: I didn’t do full nsfw but it is sort of handsy and lewd, I just thought it flowed better I hope it’s saucy enough for you, Groping, Grinding

Guilliman's boots touch the planet's surface, and he hears his men follow moments after. They had insisted they follow him, and he allowed it only if they wouldn't slow him down. He'd leave them behind if they did.

"Lady Guilliman is in a separate part of the fortress with her retinue,” An Ultramarine says, keeping up with his strides. “They've already cleared a good portion of the area. They said she was hit with some shrapnel, but she insists she's fine. They agree it's a just a flesh wound."

To hear that negotiations had dissolved into a firefight had been nothing short of a nightmare. He knows his men will have no issue with this, but he fears a stray bolter round nicking your much softer skin, or something worse.

"Where is the instigator of all of this."

His men exert slightly more effort that usual to keep up with Guilliman's enraged strides, a few bolter shots being fired for cover as he walks without a care.

"The planet's high lords? They've apparently barricaded themself at the top of the fortress with antitank weaponry. The men were focused on securing the area before pursuing them given that they’ve trapped themselves." Guilliman knows that's the correct choice; However in the blinding fire of his anger he doesn't care in the slightest.

"We are going up there. I'm going to rip them apart."

One of his men looks up at him with a furrowed, confused brow, but doesn't comment; Guilliman notices. He supposes the anger he's feeling is foreign to them. Perhaps if he was injured, they might feel something close to what he is feeling, though still abit different.

Guilliman storms through the massive fortress with little issue, stomping out leftover, separated groups of enemy forces along the way. While equipped with strong firepower they were at the end of the day baseline humans, and stood no chance against not only Astartes, but a primarch.

Once Guilliman arrived at the peak of the fortress where the high lords were hiding, including the one who had instigated this by shooting directly at you, Guilliman barged in with little care.

The High Lords were absolutely horrified, stuck like fish in a barrel with a primarch and three of his astartes. They presumably hadn’t expected the primarch to care so deeply about one person, willing to tear everything asunder just for them.

"You are all going to pay for what you've done to her. Now you get me."

Guilliman’s return to you was more than a blessing, after so much chaos. While logically the denizens of this planet stood no chance against the Ultramarines, the fear of being still hit by something and killed was always present.

Afterall you had already been nicked by some shrapnel, but the cut had largely stopped bleeding by now.

Guilliman turns to his men as he enters. Not before quickly approaching you however, silently looking you over before picking you up into his arms.

“You know your orders. Let us conclude this mess.”

They give him respectful nods and take their leave, ready to do the work they were made for.

You however are taken by Guilliman and guided back to a thunderhawk, one that brings you back to the Macgragge’s Honour within what feels like moments. It’s deathly silent the entire time, and you can feel Guilliman fuming. His anger fills the air, mixed with the intensity of a primarch aura that can make most falter.

He fumes and boils in his armor the entire time he pushes you towards his study, which surprises you. You would’ve thought he’d send you right to the apothecary, but perhaps he doesn’t see the need. You don’t either, the cut isn’t even bad enough to need sealing or bandaging.

The moment he closes the door you feel his emotions bubble over, watching him clench his fists tight as he punches the wall. It gives way underneath his fist.

“They think themselves strong enough to try and attack m-“ Guilliman stops himself, turning to you.

There’s a small smattering of blood on his cheek and the collar of his chestplate. You feel your heart skip a beat, and not for the reasons you might assume.

“Your heart; Are you afraid still? I… That wasn’t my intention.”

Guilliman hesitates. The last thing he would want is to make you fear him the way so many others so. Primarch voices are loud and his stature in full armor looms over everyone else in the room like-

Guilliman pays more attention and realizes that your breathing is also heavier, your face looks warm, and you can’t look him in the eyes. You look at his chestplate instead of his face, hands wringing. Had it been just these clues, Guilliman might not have figured it out, but when he smells the lightest, sweet scent that he finds oh so familiar, one that he’d also smelled in the Thunderhawk but brushed it away as nothing, he realizes why you’re so flighty.

You weren’t just scared, you were also aroused. By him.

Guilliman had recently learned that you enjoy it when he throws his weight around with you; When he pushes you down, pulls at you, throws you onto your shared bed. But he hasn’t realized that his angry, defensive nature might also trigger this in you, and make you silently beg for him even so soon after you had been in danger.

Perhaps it’s his innate speed, but it feels like a blink before he throws you onto his desk and places his hands on either side of your body. His lips smash against yours, your back arching as your own hands grip the collar of his armor.

“Robout-“

His kisses are so rough and demanding, you can already feel your lips becoming puffy and well kissed only moments later. His tongue brushes along your bottom lip, as one of his hands moves to grab your thigh. He pulls it away to force your legs to part, giving your to press that same armored hand against your clothed sex.

The unyielding feeling of his cold armor so suddenly against you makes you hips writhe, trying to push harder against it. Guilliman can feel you mewl in his mouth, hot breath fanning across his skin.

He didn’t know how to feel about how his aggression, his protection, makes you so wet and wanting for him, but he knows he can’t deny the way it makes his cock painfully throb against his own unyielding armor.

“You enjoy this too much,” He growls against your lips, pushing his fingers and palm harder against your cunt through the fabric of your clothing and listening to you cry for more. With how large his hand is, he can cup the entirely of your clothes cunt with ease. “So many are afraid of a Primarch’s anger, but you…”

The desk creaks underneath his hand, teeth catching your lip roughly between his teeth as your legs kick uselessly. Everything feels so cold against you even through your clothing; His armor, the desk, the air. You can’t stop the way you shiver.

But you still want more, your cunt throbs tensing around nothing and yearning for him to fill you the way only he can. Your hands pull at his armor, unable to move it or him even a fraction, but he can tell you’re doing it.

Guilliman however suddenly pulls away, removing his hand from between your legs.

“I need to remove my armor. I will be back.” You look up at him wide eyed and shocked, cunt still throbbing.

“You’re leaving? I-“

“You will wait here until I’m back. Do not move,”

He starts rounding the desk, watching with dark eyes as you lay on it spread out just for him; Clothes wrinkled and asunder. An image he’s had in the recesses of his mind for awhile, and he’s glad to have it come true.

“If anyone tries to enter tell them that I am not here, and I forbade them from entering.”

The last thing he wants is for anyone else to see you like this. You’re splayed across his desk, no one else’s. You want for only him, you yearn for the way he does whatever it takes to keep you safe.

With that Guilliman leaves you alone to strip away his armor, leaving you to boil in his study alone with the feeling your underwear wet and sticky against your skin, as you wait for him to return.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Clandestine. Part Four.

Part One. Part Two. Part Three.

Chapter Synopsis - Death puts everything into perspective.

Pairing - Stewy Hosseini x Female Roy!Reader

Warnings - cursing. lots of talk about grief.

Word Count - 3k

Author’s Note - now I might just be the last person on tumblr still writing for stewy, but I am determined to finish this series. let’s ignore the fact it’s been a year since I updated it, shall we? one more part of this to go!! thank you, if you’re still here for my succession stuff <3

Series Masterlist. Main Masterlist. Inbox.

You’re floating around in a daze.

It’s been a week since Connor’s phone call. A week since the formidable Logan Roy died on the floor of his private plane, surrounded by his closest employees. A week since you’ve seen Stewy.

You’ve been crashing in Roman’s guest room, neither of you wanting to be alone. You go to your Dad’s apartment, have meetings with old white men that all look the same, pop into the office every now and again and go home to your brothers. You were barely speaking to Kendall before all of this happening, never mind now. You can’t remember the last time the two of you said more than three words to each other.

You’re sat at Roman’s dinner table when a strange feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. You watch him picking at his salad for a minute before you say anything.

“Have you… spoke to Kendall? Like, over the last few days?”

Roman looks confused by the question, but doesn’t voice it.

“Yeah, here and there. You guys are in a fight, right?”

“Uh, yeah. We were. I guess we still are. I’m just… worried about him. God knows his mental health has been in the gutter recently anyway, but now Dad’s dead, and… I don’t know. It just can’t end well, right?”

“All we can do is keep an eye on him, I guess. He won’t fucking accept it even if we try and help, so.”

“Yeah.”

You move the chicken around on your plate with your fork, neither of you having much of an appetite recently.

“So, you never told me what your fight was about. It all seems like this big ass fucking secret that only Roman doesn’t know about.”

You’re a little taken aback by Romans candour. Usually he’s pretty avoidant, happy to live with the not knowing. He’s done with that, apparently.

“You’re not the only one that doesn’t know, Rome. Ken is the only one that does.”

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Yeah, why? Why does everyone include Kendall in everything and leave me on the fucking sidelines? Why am I always the one who doesn’t get the joke, who doesn’t know the secret?”

“Rome-”

“I know he’s your favourite, but Jesus. You could at least try and include me sometimes.”

“Roman.”

“What?”

“Kendall only ‘knows the secret’ because he… walked in on the secret. Not because I sought him out and told him, or anything like that. I promise.”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

With what has happened over the past week, your perspective on almost everything has changed. Keeping your secret is no longer top priority - or priority at all. You’re realising that you don’t care, because it doesn’t matter. Not much really matters.

“I’m in love with Stewy.”

Roman’s silent for a moment, processing.

“Hosseini?”

You can’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, Rome. Hosseini. Do you know any other Stewys?”

He shakes his head, still visibly confused.

“Are you gonna tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

“That you’re in love with him.”

“Oh. Oh. Yeah, um… he already knows. We - we’re in love. With each other. We’re dating.”

“You’re dating him?”

“That’s crazier than me being in love with him one sided?”

“Uh, yeah.”

You chuckle, looking at him for a moment before a grin breaks out across his face. He’s always been the most easy going of your brothers, the most understanding. You’ve always felt a comfort in talking to Roman - he’s more open minded than he appears. He’s a surprisingly good listener, even when you think your problems are trivial or stupid.

“For how long?”

“Fuck, I don’t even know. Two years, give or take?”

“Two years?”

“Are you mad?”

“Mad? I’m mad impressed, Princess. I didn’t think you’d be able to keep a big secret like that from me for that long.”

“So you don’t hate me?”

You’re suddenly vulnerable, terrified that your big brother is going to think less of you. Your brothers are all you have, all you’ve ever had. The four of you learned to survive with each other, with no help from parents or nannies or any kind of adult. You have nothing if you don’t have your brothers.

“I don’t hate you, dummy. I could never hate you.”

You stand up and make your way over to him, perching on his leg like you used to when you were kids. You wrap your arms around his neck, exhaling when he wraps his around your middle.

“Love you, Rome,” you whisper. “Even if you are a pain in my ass.”

“Yeah, love you too,” he murmurs. “Even if you do keep important secrets from me.”

“I promise I won’t keep anything from you ever again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Promise. No more secrets.”

You pull back but stay sat on his lap, feeling six years old again, taking solace in the presence of your big brother.

“So Kendall… walked in on you?”

“He saw us leaving the gala together and got suspicious. He showed up at Stewy’s apartment the next morning, banging on the door and asking where I was.”

“Oh shit,” he laughs.

“It’s not funny,” you retort, but you’re holding back your giggles as you do it.

“And I’m guessing he didn’t take it well.”

“Not at all. He was cycling between yelling and swearing and then sitting really quietly just… staring into space. Then he got personal, which was expected, but that pissed Stewy off, so the whole thing got awkward again. It was… horrendous.”

“He’s horrible at feelings.”

“Says Mr Communication over here.”

He shoves you off his lap, chuckling when you slide onto the floor. You punch him in the arm as you get up, returning to your original seat. You sit in silence for a moment, neither of you quite sure how to continue.

“What now?”

“I… don’t know, Rome. I just don’t know.”

“I mean, the world hasn’t stopped spinning. Maybe it feels like it has for us, but everyone else has carried on.”

You’re confused by your brother’s sudden wisdom, until it clicks for you.

He’s free.

Sure, he’s grieving. You all are. But he’s lighter. Laughs a little easier. Gives out advice quicker.

He’s free.

You all are.

The shackles your father had placed on all four of you are broken. You are no longer bound to him or Waystar or his insane ideals as to what family should be or do or say.

“I need to get out.”

“What?” Roman asks as he cocks his head, quirking a brow at you in curiosity.

“I don’t want to be a part of this anymore. This… constant cycle of destruction and deception and stabbing people in the back. It won’t stop now that Dad’s dead. It’s the very foundation that his business is built on.”

“So you’re gonna… leave?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna sell my shares and I’m gonna get the fuck out.”

Roman laughs, now, all big and bold and beautiful. You don’t know what’s funny, but you can’t help but laugh with him.

“I am too.”

“Wait… what?”

“I’m doing the same.”

“Roman.”

“I’m serious. I don’t know who CEO is gonna be, but it isn’t gonna be me. It’ll be Kendall or Tom or someone completely different, but we all know neither you or I are capable.”

“Jeez. Thanks.”

“You’re telling me you could run the entire Waystar business?”

You roll your eyes, kicking him under the table.

“Obviously I fucking couldn’t. But at least pretend to have a little bit more faith in me.”

Your brother chuckles, leaning back in his chair.

“We’re not built for it, you and me. We’re meant for something different. Something better, Princess.”

You nod, chewing on your bottom lip.

“What about Kendall?”

“What about him?”

“I feel like we’re… abandoning him.”

Rome looks solemn, suddenly, thinking about your older brother.

“He’ll come around, you know. And he’ll understand. That’s the thing about Kendall - he can’t hold a grudge to save his life. He tries, but he can’t.”

A tear rolls down your cheek, lump in your throat choking any words that try to escape.

“Hey, hey,” Roman soothes as he walks over, standing above you.

He swipes his thumb across your cheekbone, wiping away your sadness.

“He loves you more than anything, you know.”

You shake your head, so your brother doubles down.

“He does. You’ve always been his favourite. He’d do anything for you - anything at all. He’s mad because you and Stewy kept a secret from him, not because you’re together. Trust me.”

“He looked at me that day like he hated me.”

“He couldn’t hate you if he tried. He’s just… emotionally unavailable. Everyone knows this.”

“I miss him,” you whisper, lip trembling. “I miss my brother.”

You’re taken aback by how much you miss Kendall, suddenly. You miss him so much more than you miss Logan, or your Mom.

“Give him time. That’s all he needs. He misses you, I know he does. But you know what he’s like when he feels betrayed. He shuts down and gets all aggressive.”

You look up at Roman, gentle smile making its way onto your face.

“When did you get so smart, huh?”

“I’ve always been smart,” he laughs. “Everyone underestimates me.”

“That they do.”

“Well, not anymore. We’re getting out.”

“We’re getting out,” you repeat, finally allowing yourself to feel happiness at the prospect. “We’re gonna get the fuck out.”

“Talk to Stewy about selling your shares and let me know what he says. The sooner, the better.”

“I will. I’m excited, Rome. The world is our oyster.”

“Me too,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. “We’ll go to the funeral, and then we’ll never have to see any of those assholes ever again.”

“I can’t wait to not have to look at Karl’s stupid fucking face every day.”

Roman keels over laughing, wheezing as he clutches his stomach. You’re crying with laughter too, both of you lighter and freer than you’ve ever been.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

“You sure about this, Rome?”

“One hundred percent.”

You hug him tightly as you say goodbye, smiling when he presses a kiss into your hair.

“I’ll let you know what Stewy says tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay. See you tomorrow, Princess. Call me if you need anything.”

“You too. Anything.”

He ruffles your hair before sending you on your way, waiting at the front door to watch you go.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

“Stewy? You home?”

You drop your bags by the front door, kicking off your shoes and jacket as you do it. You’re about to yell again when he comes running around the corner, sliding across the wood floors in his socks.

“Baby.”

He breathes it, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him again.

“Missed you, Hosseini.”

You fly into his arms, burying yourself as deep as you can in his chest. His old, worn t shirt is soft and grey and smells like the love of your life and all of his memories spent at home. He tightens his grip on you, pulling you impossibly closer.

“How are you?” he asks without letting go, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“I’m okay. I’m good, actually. Really good.”

“Yeah?”

Now he pulls away to look at you, confused by the sudden change of heart. When you left to go to Roman’s a week ago, you were a shell of a woman, a little girl without a dad. Now, you’re back, brighter and more alive than ever.

“Yeah.”

You look at him, really look at him, for a moment, before taking a deep breath and saying the words you’ve been dying to say.

“Marry me, Stewy.”

He staggers back as if you’ve hit him, eyes blown wide.

“W-what?”

“Marry me.”

He inhales, exhaling shakily before stepping forward to cradle your face in his hands.

“Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?”

“Maybe,” you laugh. “But I guess I got there first.”

“Honey, forgive me if I’m a little confused, but… you just came back after being gone for a week because your dad died and now you’re… proposing?”

“Me and Roman are leaving Waystar,” you explain. “We’re selling our shares and getting the fuck out.”

“Shit. Really?”

“Really. The only thing stopping me from leaving years ago was the fear of disappointing my dad, and now he’s gone. So… there’s nothing keeping me there. I wanna do something else. Something for me.”

“Yeah?”

He’s grinning, beaming at you from ear to ear. Light is practically pouring from him, radiating in all directions.

“Yeah,” you half yell, leaning up to press an excited kiss to his lips. “I’m done, Stewy. I’m free.”

He picks you up, wrapping his arms around you as the two of you spin. You shriek with laughter, the world blurring as it whizzes past you. Eventually he puts you down, both of you breathless.

“Life’s too short. I need to start living it.”

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you so much. More than anything.”

You kiss him tenderly, gentle and sweet and filled with so much adoration.

“So, back to my original question…”

“Wait,” he interrupts, halting your speech. “Let me do this the right way.”

With that, he runs off towards the bedroom, leaving you stood in the hallway as confused as ever. You wait patiently, desperate to be privy to his plans.

When he returns, still in his pyjamas, he kisses you softly before getting down on one knee, ring box in his hand.

“Honey. You are the love of my goddamn life. I bought this ring after we’d been dating for… three months? Call me crazy, but I knew. I just knew. It was always going to be me and you. Always.”

Your hands are shaking, breath caught in your chest as you try to soak in every second of this moment.

“So…. how do you feel about becoming Mrs Hosseini?”

“I can’t think of anything I’d love more.”

“Is that a yes?”

“The biggest, most sure yes of my entire life. Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you. Yes.”

He swoops you up into his arms, kissing you with more passion than you ever thought possible. You slip your tongue into his mouth cheekily, tangling your fingers into his hair to pull him closer as he groans.

You finally pull away for air, both of you panting like you’ve just run a marathon. Your eyes well up suddenly, a tear falling without you realising.

“You okay?” he murmurs, thumbs rubbing circles into your cheekbones.

“I’m so happy,” you whisper. “I feel like today is the first day of the rest of my life.”

“So do I,” he agrees, looking down at you with so much love you it makes your knees buckle. “Baby… if you’re getting out, then I’m getting out.”

“Wait, what?”

“If you want to get out of Waystar, I’m not gonna stay. If you’re washing your hands of it, then I am too.”

“But… your money.”

“Honey, those shares don’t mean shit to me. The only thing that matters is you.”

You look at him intently for a moment, searching for any traces of doubt. All you find is pure adoration.

“Stewy?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you gonna keep that ring in the box forever?”

He throws his head back as he laughs, opening the velvet box to show you what’s inside. He slips it onto your finger with ease, the diamond sparkling perfectly on your hand.

“It’s so beautiful. I’m the luckiest person in the world, Mr Hosseini.”

“I think I have to disagree with you there, Mrs Hosseini.”

“Say it again.”

“Mrs Hosseini.”

“And again.”

He kisses you, mumbling against your lips.

“Mrs Hosseini.”

“Mhmm.”

“My wife. The prettiest girl in the world. Mrs Hosseini.”

You can’t help but grin into his mouth, buzzing with the energy of it all.

“Now, I was about to make dinner before you came home, but we can go out and celebrate if you want?”

You shake your head, snaking your arms around his neck.

“All I want right now is a night in with you - that’s all the celebration I need. Let’s make that pasta you like, and then we can watch old sitcom reruns on the couch.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Stewy slides his hand into yours, his thumb playing with the shiny band of the ring on your finger.

“It’s gonna be like this forever, you know. We get to do this for the rest of our lives.”

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” you breathe, resting your head on his shoulder as you make your way to the kitchen. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

As the sun sets through the floor to ceiling windows, you and Stewy dance across the kitchen, slipping and sliding across the tiles.

Your heart skips a beat every time your ring catches the light.

Your heart skips a beat every time you look at your fiancé.

Your heart skips a beat every time you realise that you’re not dreaming.

This is your life. And you’ve never been more excited to live it.

@justacaliforniandreamer @616wilsons @shawty-writes-a-little @isuspectitwasthenargles @thinemineours @buckysbae @jolie989 @allcheesemelts @nosebeers

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY DORIAN PAVUS  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age inquisition, updated version

i don't care what they think about me. i care what they think about us.

i like you. more than i should. more than might be wise.

discretion isn't your thing, is it?

all this dancing, politics, and murder makes me a bit homesick.

i suppose it really depends. how bad do you want to be?

living a lie... it festers inside of you, like poison.

i'm a man of many talents. what can i say?

the moment i saw you, i thought "there's a man who knows quality."

if you don't come through this, i swear i'll kill you.

i'm curious where this goes, you and i. we've had fun. perfectly reasonable to leave it here.

here is my proposal: we dispense with the chitchat and move on to something more primal.

i tease you too much, i know.

i'll have to find something we can do that doesn't involve teasing.

time to drink myself into a stupor. it's been that sort of day.

i see you enjoy playing with fire.

i like playing hard to get.

i'm not suggesting we venture into mutual domesticity.

if it's a trap, we escape and kill everyone. you're good at that.

talk to me. let me hear how mystified you are by my anger.

oh, i'm not arguing. just pointing out the ridiculously obvious.

if you choose to leave your door unlocked like a savage, i may or may not come.

now... what was i talking about? ah, yes. me.

i am apparently an incredible ass at accepting gifts.

i prefer the company of men.

would you prefer me bound and leashed?

sometimes the ones you love are also the ones who disappoint you the most.

you are the man i love, [name]. nothing will truly keep us apart.

the things you ask are just... very personal.

sometimes... love isn't enough.

there will always be an "us." we'll just be... farther apart, for a time.

i had no idea something like you was possible.

i'm imagining what you would look like in a dress.

i've never seen you smile so much!

i have no idea what you're talking about.

you stand there, flexing your muscles, huffing like some beast of burden with no thought save conquest.

you're shaping the world for good or ill. how could i aspire to do any less?

my footsies are freezing, thank you.

don't you ever bathe?

you're not suggesting we're similar.

watch where you're pointing that thing!

i'm not wearing a skirt.

it's significantly more impressive than hitting them with a sharp piece of metal.

i only meant to say i'm very sorry for your loss.

we can continue this dance forever, if you wish.

i'm saying we should be careful what we assume when it comes to such matters.

demons don't appreciate a man with good hair.

what i wouldn't give for some proper wine.

your outfit's entertaining. i'll give you that.

he had to leave early on account of assassination.

it's nice to know you have friends.

i'm here to do what is right.

come on, just answer the question.

they were asking me about you. personal things.

you said we'd be ass-deep in trouble. this is more like knee-high.

so what's your estimation? think we can win?

you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks.

you startled me. you're always so... nondescript.

you're a special and unique snowflake. live the dream.

i wanted to see you make flowers bloom with your song. just once.

you've done a lot less dancing naked in the moonlight than expected.

i've never seen anyone in this part of the world do it.

i realize there's more to you than that.

have i offended you?

for hating the outdoors, you sure seem to like bad weather.

i can't figure you out, [name].

you don't play their stupid game, they send an assassin or three your way.

i can't believe you're scared of magic.

i'm going to take that as a compliment.

still don't like me, [name]? after all this time?

[name], i owe you an apology.

i suspect people will use any excuse to hate us.

why be ashamed? power should be respected, not swept under the carpet.

maybe you're not a complete moron.

i just need to know you're capable of higher thought. for my own comfort.

it would take work. and soap. lots and lots of soap.

[cyberr-v0id]

I should probably make a proper introduction post so here goes

Hi hey hello wassup sup howdy hola hooray

My name is Leo but I also go by *lists a ton of names because I am genderfluid as hell, can’t choose just one, have a complicated relationship with my irl name, and eventually toss aside every name I go by* here’s the link to my full name post: https://www.tumblr.com/cyberr-v0id/731097944976228352/ok-so-as-i-apparently-use-a-lot-of-names-here-are

My main blog is @cyberr-v0id but I have a ton of side blogs, because who’s gonna stop me, the side blog police? I run a ton of gimmick blogs. You might know them. You might not.

I use he/she/they/fae and occasionally it sets of pronouns, and I am a genderfluid, afab, asexual, lesbian oriented demiromantic. Deal with it or leave :)

I currently have a crush on one of my awesome friends because I only develop crushes on people I have a strong bond with and/or have know for a while . Aka: my friends. It can be low-key awkward but we roll

I am Romani but don’t travel because reasons and I am kinda detached from my culture, but heck if I won’t defend it till my last breath

Now onto what I am interested in ehhehehehe

I AM SO GOSHDARN TOTALLY BRAIN IN THE SAND EYES GOUGED OUT INSANELY OBSESSED WITH ODYSSEUS RN. ITS A PROBLEM. IT KEEPS COMING BACK. IS THIS A HYPER FIXATION??? IS THIS A SPECIAL INTEREST? I HAVENT BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH (oh wait I should probably put that down as information then come back to my interests)

Ok so, I have never been diagnosed with anything ✨brain wise✨ however pretty much every autistic person I have ever met has said that they think I might be as well, without me even bringing it up, including my AuDHD brother. My mother has said repeatedly throughout my lifetime comments such as ‘are you sure you’re not autistic’ and ‘that is very autistic or you maybe we should get you diagnosed’ but then she denies it if i bring it up

My dad thinks I am adhd, my mum thinks I would be add rather than adhd because I am, to quote, ‘not hyperactive like [brothers name] is’. He is a twelve year old boy. I am a fifteen year old girl. I also take apart all my pens in lessons if I don’t have something less destructible to fidget with. Take that how you will

I personally have done a lot of of research into the both, and feel that I could be either, but slightly more likely adhd

I have a weird issue with my feet where the bones are too close together in places, which means I have really clicky ankle joints, am much more likely to have my ankles roll, twist, or give way, and often my legs hurt pretty bad, and my feet as well, while walking or standing for a long time. But hey! They’re getting better finally :D

OK SO NOW MY INTERESTS

I AM LITERALLY SO OBSESSED WITH ODYSSEUS HE IS ALL I HACE BEEN ABLE TO THINK ABOUT FOR LIKE THREE WEEKS NOW, I HAVE BEEN HIGHLIGHTING HIS NAME EVERY TIME I SEE IT IN THE ILIAD, I HAVE LISTENED TO THE EPIC MUSICAL EVERY NIGHT FOR OVER A WEEK, AND THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND TIME THIS YEAR THAT MY OBSESSION HAS APPEARED. AND IT GETS WORSE BY THE DAY.

I HAVE LITERALLY SAT AND RESEARCHED HIM AT BREAKFAST, I HAVE RANTED ABOUT HIM YO EVERY MEMBER OF MY FRIEND GROUP AND MY CRUSH SO MANY TIMES, MY ENGLISH TEACHER HAS BEEN SUBJECTED TO TWO ODYSSEUS RANTS THIS WEEK AND I HAD TO RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM INFODUMPING ON ONE OF MY MUSICAL THEATRE TEACHERS.

THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME FROM CREATING ODYSSEUS FAN ART IS MY ART SKILLS

Ahem

Onto other interests:

• mythology in general but the one I know the most about and am obsessed with the most is Greek mythology

• the owl house

• Percy Jackson, obviously

• amphibia

• the inheritance cycle

• the dragon prince

• miss peregrines home for peculiar children

•avatar the last air bender

•dragon age absolution

• how to train your dragon (books, films, series)

•the wizards of once

•dragons themself as a thing

•folklore and faeries

• nimona

•Dracula

•redwall

•and a heck ton more that I cannot think of. I’ll rant about it eventually if I love it that much

The main sports I do rn are archery, paddle boarding, and skateboarding, as well as dance through my musical theatre group. Also lightsaber fighting in my street

I do art and writing and reading and acting and lots more I do a lot and then I abandon my hobbies for a while, and jewelry making and sewing and

I’ll link some more posts here that may be useful to y’all:

And remember, this blog is ran by an Odysseus obsessed teen above all else

[catmansquad]

Special

Miguel X M!Reader (Since we're apparently drowning in an influx of Spider-woman Reader stories, and the M!Reader tag hasn't moved in a few days. Here's a Civilian Male to counterbalance it.)

Lyla had asked on three separate occasions if there was anything to do to help you. The first was likely her just taking note of how you stared out of the window, the last two had occurred at exactly a half-hour interval, and it was a toss-up in your mind as to if it had become part of her routine, or Miguel had sent her to check in on you. The view from the window was the same it always had been; fascinating, futuristic. The city had been bright and shining; sleek spires, clean streets, the gentle whizz of traffic above the pedestrians below, between lanes of hard-light. But now the skies were grey and overcast, like the weather was determined to suck all the colour out of this magnificent world. You watched the first droplets run down the glass, more appearing with each second until the downpour truly began. You were not looking for anything in particular, you saw your own reflection in the glass as much as you saw the city beyond. Your eyes trailed down your form, resting on the bracelet that was secure on your left wrist. You could feel its faint, barely perceptible hum, keeping you from violently, painfully disappearing from this beautiful world altogether. This was not your world, not your city, and certainly not your home. That honour belonged to another altogether.

You were surprised when another half-hour elapsed and Lyla did not return to check in on you again. The reason was only realized when you caught the glint of red eyes in the reflection. Huge hands gently rested on your shoulders, fingers giving a firm, reassuring squeeze. ‘¿Qué pasa, mi corazón? Lyla tells me you’ve just been… staring out the window for the past hour.’ You exhaled a shaky breath, finally tearing your eyes from the cityscape and turning to find the tall, broad form before you. Miguel moved a hand to stroke your cheek, his gaze was soft with concern. ‘… Please, tell me what’s wrong. You’re not yourself… I know it’s miserable out, but even so-‘ ‘… Why me, Miguel?’ You asked the question that froze the larger man’s voice in his throat, you met his gaze, seeing his eyes widen in concern. ‘How did I…? Why did you choose me? Out of all the worlds, and all the people you chose me.’ His crimson gaze searched your face, concerned and curious. ‘I chose you because I love you.’ His words were soft, voice low.

You did not resist as he took you by the wrist and led you from the window, to the soft white sofa that befit the minimalist, monochromatic décor his apartment so favoured. ‘I don’t see what’s so special about me, I’m just a… A regular guy. Every day you spend at your job, you see… hundreds and thousands of spectacular Spider-Women. You… Wouldn’t you be better off with one of them?’ Miguel’s gaze narrowed, just a fraction, then he leaned in and placed a soft kiss to your forehead. ‘No. Oh, they think they have a chance with me. They buzz and flutter around me like irritating gnats who tell terrible jokes. They all think they’re the funniest person in the room with tragic backstories and special circumstances….’ He paused to hum in thought, impossibly strong arms circling around your waist as he pulled you into his lap, against his broad, warm chest that filled out the familiar soft white hoodie. ‘I tell them all the same thing; I am in love with a regular, wonderful man. There is nothing that they can do to change my heart, not in this world or any other. You have my heart…’ His lips ghosted across your own as your tensions began to ease away, taking doubts with it. ‘… You always will. You don’t need to be special, because you’re the man I love. To me, you’re already the most special person in existence.’ He gave no room for reply as his lips met yours, imparting tender love and warmth where words would not suffice. You hummed in delight at his kiss, and then returned it with vigor, arms snaking slowly across his shoulders and around his neck, fulfilling that need to be closer and return the love shown.

[necromancers-incorporated]

While we wait for part three of season one: all of my thoughts on Lena Kelley as of tmagp 20 (spoilers, obviously):

At first, it definitely seemed like Lena was going to be set up as the new Elias. There was this whole mysterious creepy boss vibe happening, especially with all of the subtle food things. Her conversation with Gwen in that first episode was very interesting for both of their characters, but if you look at that conversation while ignoring our knowledge of tma, Lena is being very reasonable. At this point (without tma) there's no conformation of horrors in this universe. Lena is literally just a manager, and her employee is practically threatening her. She has obviously got a lot of patience and is being more than reasonable to not give Gwen some kind of disciplinary action, which, in my opinion at least, definitely goes against the creepy evil boss act.

The whole thing with Klaus is very very interesting, for a number of reasons: first; it gives us a whole new depth to Lena. Why did she do it? Did someone make her? How did she fail so horribly at it? What did she stand to gain? There are so many questions here that make us wonder about her past, but she's clearly not close with any of the other characters and so we are left floundering. She's isolated and so is a mystery. We only get information when it is brought up in conversation or through a statement. Because of this, we have very little to go off of. Her isolation is a point I will come to later. The second thing that this whole Klaus situation does is put her in danger. She now has Gwen threatening to expose her, and it is only after this that she agrees to give Gwen the promotion, AFTER stating how dangerous it is, after warning her so many times. I think that Lena is the canary here. She's been down this path, she's seen what it does, and she is (from what we can gather) worse off because of it. What is really striking here is that on a surface level it seems like she's just gatekeeping informed from Gwen, but as we know after the Lady Mowbray incident, Lena has a protective streak. Retrospectively, we can see that, despite how she feels about Gwen, this protectiveness extends at least in part to her as well.

Another thing I find very interesting is that it seems like the only time she's ever shown is when she's in conflict with someone (apart from that one convo with Sam which I'll get to later), which links in nicely with her apparent isolation. She is always at odds with Gwen in one way or another, and if I remember correctly, aside from the Sam conversation, Gwen is always there when Lena is talking. Gwen is also the one that seems to be initiating these arguments. The only one you could say she didn't start was the Mowbray one, as Lena was the one to bring it up, but she was still the root cause. All of this marks Lena as someone who is constantly struggling, and I am very interested in seeing what her overarching battle will be.

Now. Her conversation with Sam. I have seen two interpretations of it so far, and they have been; "Lena is autistic and thinks this is normal" and "Lena is threatening Sam very subtly as a power play". From what we've seen, Lena is not one to threaten without cause. This would be the first instance of totally unprovoked hostility, unless, of course, she knows he knows something. That would be the only explanation for such threats.

Personally, I do headcanon Lena as autistic (there is more but that'll be a seperate post), and maybe it's me being autistic and so unable to read her, but she sounded normal. She sounded like she was just having a conversation. And to be honest, she's not wrong. Maybe it's a little unconventional only speaking to employees when they're in trouble, but I ask you to look at everything we know already:

Lena has had to kill people she's worked with before. She is actively sending out employees into situations where they could very well die. She is likely isolating herself for her own protection. She knows that people will die in this job. It's happened before. It makes total sense for this to be her outlook on the office and her employees. She's protecting them at a distance, subtly, so there's no way for them to know and get closer to her. Everyone is held t an arm's length because otherwise things get complicated. We see similar things happen in tma, like with the WTG cult, and it's common for writers to stick to themes and idea like that. One of the most relevant themes in tma is about loved ones getting hurt because they're too close and/or get in the way. It's very possible that a similar thing is happening here too.

Tldr: Lena Kelley has so much more depth than people give her credit for and I really want her character to be explored more.

[all-pacas]

how much do you wanna bet camchase went out for drinks after the funeral and hooked up?

and just never spoke of it again... until chase md season 3

t e c h n i c a l l y, cameron is married and has a baby. on the other hand, she didn't bring either to the funeral, her last moment in the series is smiling longingly at a photo of the Good Old Days (with her standing next to said ex), and she spend the funeral sitting next to her ex-husband, who she also couldn't even divorce without hooking up with so.........

i mean. we know she makes a big deal about cheating, i don't think she would let herself. but drinks? absolutely. and some what-ifs and general desire to hook up? absolutely. but i don't think cameron would do it. i think she'd have a crisis about it.

even though the two got their closure in lockdown, lockdown also makes it pretty clear that... on some level, they really didn't want to break up. they agree it was inevitable, that the marriage was broken, that it was over. no question there: chase murdered a guy, cameron has her own issues, faced with "let's spend months, maybe years trying to work slowly through it or just give up" they agreed to give up. but because of that, maybe, lockdown also makes it pretty clear like... they still like one another a lot. if chase then spent the next 2 years sleeping around and chasing the high of "being loved," cameron turned around and got married to apparently the first man she saw. i think, moved on completely, meme funeral hookup, still in love or with no love at all between them, they're both going to look back on that relationship like "if only..."; they didn't break up because they didn't love one another; they broke up because they both felt they could no longer be together. and that's a big distinction. and that means they're on weirdly good terms post divorce, at the funeral. and that means... i think the temptation is always going to be there.

compare their hilariously closest narrative parallel, house and stacy. they were in love. they were happy together. a big event happened to them that drove them apart... except they tried to stick it out for months after the infarction, and failed. as much as the breakup is about house's leg, it's also not: he resented and hated her, she was miserable and hated him. they still have lingering feelings and what could have been, but it's tainted with a lot of bad memories and anger they spend most of s2 butting up against and (not) working through. cameron and chase broke up immediately. they don't get the bitter satisfaction of "i hate that person," or "i'm better off", or "thank god it's over." they might be happier they broke up, they are no longer In Love... but the "what might have been" is going to be very, very strong. i think they can both look back and assume "if not for dibala, we'd still be married." (i am also not sure this is true!)

so yeah. of course they'd be friendly. of course they'd hook up after the funeral, or almost hook up, or cameron would have a crisis about wanting to hook up and ghost chase for another three years. there are cases you can be friends with an ex, but i do not think this is one of those times.

(and throw in what i feel is cameron's pretty inevitable third divorce, because you cannot tell me captain commitment issues and foot dragging got married and had a kid a year post divorce and is totally cool with it, even if husband #3 is her real soulmate forever.........)

[thenightfolknetwork]

There are… strange things happening to my body. I heard from some of my friends that I should come to you for things like this. Sorry if it’s a bit oddly worded, I’ve had to rewrite this quite a bit.

You see, I’m used to having the ocasional astral spell, leaving my body from time to time while I nap and waking up an hour or so later to find my body right where I’ve left it. But recently, these spells have been getting quite a bit longer. And someone has seen fit to move into my body while I’m out.

I’ve heard of this sort of thing before, shared vessels and all that. But I never asked for a bodymate, let alone gave them permission! You see, my new bodymate is a refugee from their dimension. They jumped into my body since it was the first they could find unoccupied at the time, and apparently it’s rather similar to the one they used to have at home. I’ve left notes around, and they’ve written back, and for a while we had a somewhat tedious agreement over who could control the body when. I control it during the daytime, and them at night, simple as that. We both take frequent naps as our schedule allows, so our body doesn’t get too exhausted.

However recently, they’ve been a bit of a “controller-hog”, so to speak. I’ll settle down for a nap in my bed, only to wake up on the couch watching some bad medical drama. I hate medical dramas. But the worst thing by far was when I woke up three days ago with blue hair. Blue HAIR. My hair has never been blue, nor have I ever dyed it, or even had hair dye in my home!

I immediately wrote several very stern letters to my bodymate. I had hoped that maybe over the next few nights, we could have hashed something out together. But today I woke up with a NOSE RING. What’s next? Some cheap tattoo?!

I’ve tried writing this letter SO MANY TIMES, but each time I’ve been “dozing off” and waking up with my finger pressed conveniently to the backspace button. I’ve tried so hard to get them to leave, but they simply refuse. What do I do?!

Reader, this is absolutely appalling behaviour. It is never acceptable for a bodymate to make changes to the shared vessel without the permission of all inhabitants, and their blatant disregard for your wishes proves them to be as unscrupulous as they are rude.

The fact this person is a refugee from another dimension does not give them the right to treat your shared body with impunity. Quite apart from the violations of changing the body's appearance without your agreement, there are the very real health risks involved.

After all, if your body doesn't get enough rest because one of its occupants sees fit to sit up watching medical dramas, you will both suffer the physical consequences.

Usually I am the first to advocate for communication and compromise. But in this situation, I think your bodymate has shown they are not interested in negotiation. The time for rationality and reason has passed. You must take direct action.

There are two options available. If you are not particularly attached to the body itself, you could always cede possession and take up residence in another vessel.

Many people consider such a change to be a refreshing change of perspective. You might choose a vessel at random, find a volunteer online, or indulge in having a custom body created for you by a professional matter consultant.

Just be sure to update your identity documents and paperwork before making the jump. There are ways to prove your identity in the case of corporeal eviction and so on, but it can be a lengthy and uncomfortable process and is far best avoided.

Alternatively, if you have a particular affection for this vessel, I'm afraid you're going to have to put your foot down. At a time when you are in full control of the body, speak to a trusted friend and establish a way of communicating to them whether or not the person in control of the body really is you. A code word will do, or a reference to a shared memory. Anything your new bodymate will be unable to guess.

Then, you need to call in the professionals. Exorcism has an understandably poor reputation in the community, but it remains the most effective way to handle unwanted guests.

Find a licensed practitioner to perform the ritual, and book them for a time and place of your choosing. You'll also need to give them the contact details of your trusted contact, to check whether the ritual was successful or not.

Finally, at the allotted time, tell your bodymate that you are ready and willing to take drastic measures to protect your boundaries. There is a chance they will take your threat seriously, and agree to either vacate your body of their own volition or to treat your shared space with more respect.

Given their behaviour during the writing of this letter, however, I think it far more likely they will respond with aggression. Brace yourself. They will very probably try to wrest control of the body and suppress your influence entirely. Let them – your exorcist will be on hand to manage the situation.

Once your bodymate has been safely transferred into temporary storage, the rest is up to you. The most ethical choice is to find a willing alternative vessel and having your bodymate transferred to them as soon as possible. Alternatively, safe release into a crowded public area is often included in the price of an exorcism, with a small surcharge if you want to choose the target area yourself.

Banishment to another realm entirely will cost significantly more. Besides, even without the concerns about keeping them from accidentally going back to the realm they just left, crossplanar banishment is considered rather gauche.

You don't need to decide right away. Once your headmate is removed, they will be able to remain in the storage container for up to a week with no harmful effects. It will be rather boring for them, but frankly I'm inclined to think they deserve a little time to sit on the mantelpiece and think about what they've done.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 8

Chapter 8! It's getting a little darker, I hope you enjoy! Full fic on AO3

Words: 1.2k

Trigger warnings: kidnapping, premature burial, murder

Chat between Cassian, Azriel and Rhysand on December 22nd

Cassian: have you gotten the information?

Cassian: Rhys?

Cassian: Az, we should follow him

Azriel: Amren is with him, he's fine

Rhysand: Who is Lucien Vanserra?

Azriel: he's Feyre's friend, why?

Rhysand: can we trust him?

Azriel: he was also Tamlin’s friend

Rhysand: Tamlin is dead

Azriel: Amarantha killed him?

Rhysand: no

Cassian: you killed him?

Rhysand: no, I think Feyre did

Cassian: what did Lucien say?

Rhysand: He says he knows where Feyre is

Cassian: where??

Chat between Nesta and Elain Archeron on December 22nd

Elain: what are you doing

Nesta: why are you texting me? I sit right beside you

Elain: you look like you're doing something you shouldn't have do.

Elain: if you keep side eyeing Mor she will know btw

Nesta: I'm tracking Cassian, I want to know where they are

Elain: in Neva. How do you know how to track Cassian?

Nesta: he showed me once

Elain: why did you stop? What's going on???

Chat between Nesta Archeron and Cassian on December 22nd

Nesta: WHY are you at a cemetery?

Nesta: where is Feyre

Nesta: Cassian, I won't ask again

Nesta: answer

Nesta: fucking hell, Cassian, ANSWER

Chat between Morrigan, Rhysand, Azriel and Cassian on December 22nd

Morrigan: Nesta is beside herself with worry. Apparently she tracked you guys to a cemetery? What are you doing? I thought you went to get Feyre

Morrigan: can someone please answer? I need to calm them down, Nesta is threatening to follow you guys to Neva

Morrigan: why aren't you at the warehouse that Feyre mentioned on the note?

Chat between Cassian, Azriel and Rhysand on December 22nd

Cassian: we brought her to Thesan, where are you? Do you need backup?

Azriel: Elain is blowing up my phone, we need instructions ASAP

Cassian: she is stable, Azriel stays with her, I'm coming over

Rhysand: no need, I'm on my way

Rhysand: we'll have a briefing when I'm with you

Rhysand: Amren is insisting the guns were just borrowed, please give them back immediately when we arrive for the sake of peace

Azriel: is Amarantha dealt with?

Rhysand: yes

Rhysand: how is Feyre?

Cassian: Asleep for now, stable condition. A few broken ribs and bruises and a cut that had to be stitched

Rhysand: fucking hell

Cassian: How are you?

Rhysand: I'm angry

Cassian: that's not what I mean

Azriel: leave it, we can talk about this later

Chat between Rhysand, Morrigan, Nesta and Elain Archeron on December 23rd, Midnight

Rhysand: apologies for leaving you in the dark for so long but there were some complications in our mission to save your sister that made it impossible to check our messages. We successfully retrieved her and she's resting now under the watch of my best doctor. I'd like to give you more details in person if you want to

Elain: yes, we want to!

Nesta: where is she?

Elain: what happened?

Nesta: how is Feyre doing?

Elain: why were you at the cemetery for almost an hour?

Nesta: we want to see her

Rhysand: Your questions will all be answered in person. I am sending a car, Mor will accompany you. Tamlin is dealt with, he won't bother your family anymore. Or anyone.

Nesta: what about that Amarantha lady?

Rhysand: she, too, is dealt with.

Elain: what does “dealt with” mean?

Morrigan: don't ask questions you don't want the answers to

Chat between Nesta Archeron and Rhysand on December 24th

Nesta: Feyre is awake and she wants to talk to you

Rhysand: I'm on my way. Does she need something? Do you need something?

Nesta: no, she declines everytime I ask, she's only asking for you

Nesta: but Rhysand

Rhysand: yes?

Nesta: break her heart again and I will break your neck

Chat between Rhysand, Feyre, Nesta and Elain Archeron on December 26th

Rhysand: Feyre will be good to go home today but I want all three of you to live in my apartment in Cesere until I've dealt with my father and the rest of his men for good. Amren and Morrigan will accompany me, Azriel and Cassian will stay. I am trying to fix everything as fast as possible, I expect to be back in a week

Feyre: Cesere?

Nesta: don't worry, it's a nice town. My friend Gwyn lived there

Elain: and it will only be for a week. I still owe you a cake!

Decenber 31st

I can't sleep, the firework is too loud. Everytime I hear it, I am reminded of gunshots. One. Two. Three.

I am reminded of how the metal of the gun felt in my hand, how the trigger felt, the knockback. The sound of Tamlin as he fell to the floor.

I am reminded of blood. So much blood. Red. Red. Blood is red. Amarantha’s hair was also red. So much blood, so much red. It's all over hands. I killed someone.

One. Two. Three.

I want to go home.

I don't know if I mean Velaris or Rhysand. I just

I want to go home. I miss home.

Maybe I mean both.

I need to have the light on at all times. If it's dark I am back. Back in the box. The coffin. Back under the earth.

I didn't know if I should've screamed or if I should have waited for someone to find me. Hope was running thin, just as the air. I thought I was going to die there.

But I didn't.

I am alive, I was found. Rhysand found me. And Cassian and Azriel. They found me. Because of my sisters, because they knew something was wrong when I didn't come home. Because of Lucien, who led them to the cemetery. I survived because they know me and love me.

I survived. I am alive.

But I don't feel like it, I feel like a shell. Worse than eight years ago. I feel like, even though I survived, a part of me died in that coffin.

I want to go home.

Home.

One. Two. Three.

January 26th

I slept beside Rhysand.

I've been having nightmares again and yesterday, for some reason, I asked him to stay. I didn't sleep amazingly good but it was the best sleep I had since…well, since everything happened.

Elain begged me to see a therapist after Rhysand suggested it. It took quite the convincing from my sisters but I agreed in the end and Rhys made an appointment for me. Under my real name.

Yep, we go under our real names again. I don't know how Rhys and Mor pulled it off but they just told me they would and not to worry. I am worrying but I am also glad to be Feyre again and not be afraid to give any identifying information away on accident. Not that I was great at it before, Tamlin had found me after all. Tamlin who always tried to ask about my sisters, who didn't care about me at all, who worked for Amarantha, Amarantha who worked for Hybern, Hybern who made a deal with Tamlin’s father who had made a deal with Rhysand's father. All dead now. And some of the blood was spilled because of me.

God damn it, no one can ever find this diary. EVER. I'll probably have to burn it after this entry.

But not now, I have to eat breakfast first. Breakfast made by Rhysand, who's standing in my kitchen RIGHT NOW. All disheveled from sleep. This feels like a little treat. The first sunbeam after a storm.

Feysand Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[ewritesthangs]

Sugar Daddy! Pablo Scheiber x Reader

First installment of my Sugar daddy! Pablo Schreiber x Reader. I hope you enjoy, these things just come into my head and I want to share my creativity with readers all around. 

WARNINGS: NSFW, SMUTT, MATURE THEMES, MATURE LANGUAGE. 

You had met Pablo about three weeks prior to your date tonight with him. You were working as an on set medic for a new movie he was starring in. Pablo became infatuated with your beauty and you in general. 

As night fell upon the patrons of Vancouver, you and your best friend, who live together, were conversing about your upcoming date tonight. He sent you flowers today, along with 2 boxes. One box had a red satin mini dress and the other had authentic Louis Vuitton heels. You, of course, wore the outfit, looking rather delicious in the dress and heels. "Damn, Y/N I'd even fuck you in that attire." Y/BFF/N said with a giant smirk plastered across her devilish face. 

"Thank you, that is kinda the plan, Stan." You smirk, winking at her before gathering your stuff for the night.

"You got your implant, right?" 

"Like a month ago, where the fuck you been?" You chuckle and grab your light jacket, black in color. "I'll see you hopefully later. Or tomorrow. Who knows. I hope he doesn't kill me and just fucks me into oblivion." 

"Where did you come from?" 

"New found confidence in this thing." You spin around. The drive over to his hotel room was uneventful, except the wonderful performance you had put on for your stuffed hamster on your dashboard. 

You softly knock on the door. Was that too soft? You think to yourself before the door opens. 

Pablo takes a deep breath and smiles. "Y/N, you look ravishing." He was dressed in a "fancy" shirt which looked silky and some gray dress pants. 

"Well you don't look too bad yourself there, sweet cheeks." A nickname you have had for him since day one due to his charisma. You smirk and wink at him. 

His deep chuckle brings an alarming amount of joy to your being. One you had never experienced before meeting the incredibly tall man. 

"Please come in. Make yourself at home, dear." He steps aside to let you in. You saunter on in and he helps you take your jacket off and hangs it up. 

"Why thank you. Oh wow, nice room." You look around in awe, never really seeing this much luxury up close and personal. 

"Thank you. It's not too bad as a home away from home." You nod as you follow Pablo to his rather large kitchen compared to your small apartment kitchen. "Would you like some wine, my dear." He flashes you his beautiful smile. 

"Yes please." You smile back and grab the wine glass from him. "Fancy."

"Only the best for you, lovely." This statement made you blush. You take a sip of wine to deter from the blush. 

"I'm not that special." You say, causing Pablo to feign offense. 

"Y/N, you are the most special woman I have ever met."

"We met like three weeks ago."

"Time doesn't matter." 

"Philosophical. Impressive." 

"I try." He chuckles again. 

"So, Mister Schrieber, what is for dinner?"

"Homemade spaghetti and meatballs with a homemade bolognese." 

"Wait, you can cook too? What can't you do?" 

"Apparently 5th grade math." You both end up laughing at that comment. 

"Ready for dinner? I have something I am dying to talk to you about after dinner." 

"Oh? Yes I was ready when you said homemade." He serves you a hefty amount of food. 

"Eat up. I do not want you to be hungry." He winks and sits across from you. You guys engage in casual conversation as you devour the delicious food he had prepared. 

"Now, I am full. What is it that you would like to talk about?" You sip some wine. 

"I'd like for us to have a relationship of sorts. Now I don't exactly do the whole dating thing. Since my failed marriage I have tried to focus on my health and wellbeing as well as work and my kids. But I would love to be your sugar daddy." 

"Sugar daddy? Like you buy me things and I give you sex in return?" 

"Yes. I am quite wealthy, I want to spoil you, and I am infatuated by you," 

"Sugar. Daddy. Are there rules?" 

"I am the only one you are having sex with. I go by daddy." 

"Not many people like me enough to want to have sex with me." You shrug.  

"Well I do." He crosses his legs. 

"Okay. Yes." 

"Yes? Are you being serious?"

"A thousand percent." His excitement could not be contained at your confirmation. This was really what he wanted. 

"Would you like to start tonight?" You choke on the wine you were sipping. 

"Is that why you wanted me in this sexy dress?" 

"Maybe." He smirks. 

"Why not. I have been wanting to experience things with you. Why did I just say that out loud?" Maybe it was the wine getting to you. But you felt empowered with his words. 

"Good. Now I am usually a dominant male. I can have a submissive side when wanted. But tonight I am in charge." His voice got slightly deeper. This made your nether regions grow a little wet. You had a thing for deep voices. "Come." Pablo stands up and holds his hand out. You happily oblige. He takes you to his bed, pulling you close to him. His right hand goes to the back of your head and pulls your head to look up at him. "I don't usually do kissing either but your lips look so kissable." He gently kisses you at first to test the waters. Then he kisses more needingly. His lips were intoxicating. He pulls back and unzips your dress. "I want you naked, on the edge of the bed. Now, princess." You nod and give him a little show. He watches, biting his bottom lip. "Good girl." You lay at the edge of the bed. Pablo walks over to you and gets down to his knees. "I have wanted to taste you all night." His hands rub your calves then thighs before separating them. Exposing your freshly waxed sex. "Mmmm, someone was hoping for something to happen tonight."

"A girl can dream. But seems like the feeling was mutual." He hums before ever so slowly getting closer to your sex. Tantalizingly slow, to your dismay. You squirm under his gaze. 

"Patience, princess." He says softly before blowing some cool air onto your exposed clit. This made you shiver and moan. "You smell so sweet." He says before delving in. His tongue flicks your clit a few times before he sucks your clit into his mouth. Flicking his tongue as he suckles slightly. This makes you instantly arch your back and shut your eyes. The sweet sweet feeling of his amazing tongue on your swollen, neglected clit was all so much stimulation. A few breathy moans escape your lips and you rock your hips to his tongue wanting more friction. One of his hands rubs your thigh before he inserts two fingers into you. He pulls back to watch you. You look down to see his face glistening with your juices. In and out. In and out. Slow at first to you adjusted to his girthy fingers. He then picks up the pace. You bite your lip before throwing your head back. A soft little "Fuuuck." comes from your lips. 

"That's it baby, feel my fingers." He curls his fingers up, hitting that sweet, sweet g-spot. Your breath hitches and you rock your hips once more. 

"Ah yes." You moan out. He smirks, and halts his movements. Slowly withdrawing his fingers from you, causing you to whimper. 

"I want to be inside you when you come for me for the first time, princess." He stands up and undresses himself. Exposing his lengthy, girthy cock ready for you. "See what you do to me already, princess?" You sit up and nod. 

"Oh daddy, I need you right now. Please."

"Oh, begging already? Mmm such a sweet sweet sound." He licks his hand before pumping himself a few times. You lick your lips. He comes over to you. "Up on the bed more, princess." You scoot up onto the bed more, to which he follows. "You sure you're ready for all of this?" He smirks, you nod vigorously. "That's the spirit, princess." He dips his head down to kiss each tit before he slowly inserts himself. You gasp at his size but moan, it feeling good to have someone inside you after a few months of no action. He cradles your head with his arms as he starts his sweet, yet rough thrusts. You moan out loudly, louder than you ever have. But you didn't care, this man was making you feel good and people needed to know. 

"Ah oh fuck, yes." 

"That's it princess, feel me. Every little inch." He made sure you felt every inch of him. With every thrust. He knew how to take care of a woman. He rocks his hips into yours. "Say my name." 

"Daddy." You whisper. 

"Louder." His voice went dark almost. Very raspy.

"DADDY!" You moan out loudly. 

"That's it princess." He quickens the pace up slightly, feeling you clench and squirm ever so slightly. 

"I-i-i I'm close Daddy." You say, feeling the release rise up in your body, ready to release at any moment. 

He licks his hand before putting it between you two. He spits into his hand and rubs your clit, causing a whole other sensation to happen within you. You arch your back and rock your hips. "Cum for me princess, let me feel you all around me." That sent you over the edge. You pulsate around him, the feeling of euphoria raining over you as you cum all around him. A long, strangled moan comes from you, almost a scream. You needed that incredible release. You pant as he keeps thrusting into you, getting himself to the edge. "Princess, play with your tits." You were still in that just fucked stage of the aftermath, an afterwave of pleasure coming upon you. You begin to play with your tits, flicking and squeezing the nipple. He grunts and stills, a hot juice shooting into you. You moan. 

"That's it daddy." 

"You are incredible." He kisses your forehead before slowly pulling out. You both lay there panting. You were still dazed. 

"You weren't too bad, yourself." You manage to pant out. "Man I am out of shape." You say, once you have calmed down. Pablo just chuckles. 

"No you're not." He stands up and walks to what you think is the bathroom. You sit up, seeing him emerge with a towel. "Let me clean you up." He kneels again and pulls you to the edge. This caused a small squeak to come from you. He wipes you up, clean as can be. 

"Good thing I am on birth control." You smirk and giggle. 

"I saw the implant." 

"Well aren't you just observant." You caused him to chuckle again. 

"Would you like to spend the night? You look very tired from that good fucking." He asks, concerned you wont make it to your apartment. 

"I- yeah sure why not." You shrug, yawn and stretch. Pablo pulls the covers back for you to get in. You slowly crawl, tiredness having washed over you. He tucks you in, planting a soft, chaste kiss to your forehead. 

"Thank you princess." 

"For?" 

"Saying yes. And listening to my silent plea for you not to drive in your state of exhaustion." 

"Wine does tend to put me out after some activities." You yawn and snuggle into the man who now was laying next to you. He stiffened then relaxes, him finding an odd sense of comfort in your presence. 

"Get some rest, princess." He shuts off the bedside lamp, bringing you into the state of slumber. 

A/N:: Not my best work, things will hopefully get better. I hope y'all enjoy!

[tyrannuspitch]

small inconsistency that keeps bothering me: sherlock and mycroft's age gap is canonically* seven years, which is backed up by the age of the actors (actually ten years apart) and by their different life stages when the story begins (established but under-the-radar detective versus firmly entrenched politician.)

however. as a haver of many siblings, with personal experience in a seven year age gap... the way they actually interact does not convince me for a second that they're more than four years apart. at a push.

it's hard to explain without sounding like i'm doing birth order horoscopes, and tbh maybe i am (i only have one family!), but like... my gut feeling is that, generally speaking, siblings that far apart don't compete like that?

the thing about a seven year age gap is that that's HUGE to a child. until both siblings are in their twenties, the elder will see the younger as a baby and the younger will see the elder as a grown-up. you're siblings, but you're not peers. you're growing up together, but you don't feel like it at the time, because you feel more different in age than you are alike. so it doesn't really occur to you to compare yourselves directly, because you're not occupying anything like the same role in the family.

one comment that really illustrates this problem for me is from 3.01: "i thought you were an idiot. but that was before we met other children." (possibly paraphrased.)

but why would mycroft actually think sherlock was far less intelligent, and not just younger? why would the first insult that sprung to mind be "idiot" and not "baby"? this is a plausible way for, say, a seven-year-old to speak to a five-year-old. much less so a twelve-year-old to a five-year-old. he would barely even remember being that age, and apparently he had no reference point!

similarly, the "other children" comment is plausible if the brothers are similar ages and we're talking about before they started school, but if the age gap is seven years, mycroft would have started school before sherlock was even born??? even if he was home-schooled, it's not really plausible that he wouldn't have taken any notice of other children during the seven years when he was an only child.

in general, the holmes brothers give me the strong impression that they've been written by people very used to small sibling age gaps, who aren't really thinking about how much changing the number changes the dynamic. but it really does, so this just feels wrong. i can either accept the canon number or the canon dynamic into my headcanon, but not both at once.

i'm going to keep the dynamic, since it's a lot harder to untangle and i like it as it is. we'll just have to say that mycroft is very, very good at politics but it's prematurely aged him.

diagnosis in my official capacity as a dubious siblingologist: [THREE YEARS]

*if you take anything in 4.03 as canon lol. it is based on ACD canon, though, so i would imagine it's widely accepted.

[sunsetrubdowns]

Also. Hi. I remembered I can talk as much as I want to on here. Do you want to hear about this guy I kind of broke up with but kind of wasnt really dating to begin with and will probably have to break up with again for good measure. This actually turned into an insanely long post because it's an insane situation so I'm putting it under a cut because I love you and your scrolling experience and it's probably incoherent anyways

So. Well you may or may not be aware but I was couch surfing for like 3 weeks in September and a friend of mine who I met through work helped me out a lot with moving my stuff out of my apartment and into storage and helping me get my shit together. And in the weeks leading up to me moving out/while I was homeless we spent a lot of time together (like. Pretty much every day LOL) because I needed to be constantly distracted and he apparently had all the free time in the world. Cool!

Now it's important to give the context that he had asked me out back in like June and I said no because not only did I think we had very little chemistry and he was very needy but ALSO I was going through one of the worst depressive periods in my life. Really just was not the vibe at the time. Also my read on the situation was 100% correct like I was right about everything lol.

So you know obviously I'm aware that he has a little crush on me this whole time but I'm in a truly delusional headspace where I'm like well this is not so bad :) I'm having fun hanging out with him so whatever happens, happens :). And what happens is that WHILE I am still homeless we end up having a little feelings talk where I'm like well this is nice but I've kind of got a lot going on right now and I need to settle my life situation out before I'm comfortable getting into anything official or serious. And he's like yeah I totally understand that. But then maybe a week later after I secure and move into my place he IMMEDIATELY. And I mean like immediately. Starts calling me his girlfriend. Not to me but to other people. Like going around to my coworkers and people at work to be like btw we're together now :). Which made me kind of uncomfortable but I just brushed it off because I am a huuuuuge pushover and I was like, sure I guess we're together. Even though I'm very private about my personal life and it took me like a good month to refer to him as my boyfriend out loud and I didn't even MENTION him to my best friends (hi besties) for a couple weeks after that. Because I was like damn I don't even know what to say. Also he never even attempted to do anything more than hold my hand a few times so we were still just hanging out the way we had been to begin with.

And THEN he started coming to the bowling alley where I work every single night and just like.... hanging around for hours and hours until we closed to drive me home (6 blocks away) and to talk to me while I'm working and on my breaks. And when he drove me home after work every SINGLE night he would park and walk me to my door and unless I was very clearly like yeahhh I'm exhausted Goodnight Bye :) he would often invite himself into my apartment just to hang around until I was like. Okay I have to go to bed because it's after 1am please leave. And it got to the point where I felt like I never had any time to myself and my social battery was constantly at 0 and I was also spending way more money than was within my budget because he was dragging me out to eat and do things constantly and to go to Disneyland and shit and also at the place where I work every single day and not leaving no matter how clearly Im like hey sorry I'm just. soooo tired right now and work is so busy etc. There were only THREE days in October that I had totally to myself. I could barely even find time to spend with my roommate I had just moved in with and he also was not really seeming to spend time with any of his own friends when he'd had an incredibly active social life like, just a month ago.

It was starting to really freak me out that I felt like he was trying to replace not only his previous long term girlfriend who broke up with him earlier this year but also his entire social circle. With lil old me. And I felt like he was trying to force a level of familiarity with me that simply was not there like... man you don't even KNOW me like that don't talk to me like you know me. Don't talk to me like you know me when you're also trying so hard all the time to like, impress me and prove something to me.

It got to the point by mid October that I was like desperate for time to myself to decompress and process things and most of my mental energy was going to trying to find ways to avoid him and scripting a breakup speech in my head. And instead of trying to talk to ME he would go into my workplace and try to ask my work friends. While they were working. For advice on what to do when I seemed distant or unhappy. And even though they really only ever told him to just communicate with me he decided to wait until the day before Halloween to be like "I realized that I was maybe doing to much by going to hang around your workplace every day and also it's been a month and a half but I want to officially ask you to be my girlfriend now :)" and was somehow genuinely shocked when I said no. And basically outlined everything I've said here to be like I need to be left alone or I'm going to kill myself a little bit so please leave me alone.

But it seems like what he took out of the conversation was "I need to take some naps and then I'll feel better and then we can go back to normal :)" because he just kept being like "how do you feel how are you doing you look better are you feeling rested" and continuing to go to my coworkers and my roommate at work and asking about me and show up at the bowling alley frequently and text me continually as I just brushed him off over and over and eventually stopped replying to his messages. Until finally last week I was working on a day I normally don't work and he came in and I, again, kind of brushed him off when he came to just like do small talk with me. So he went to my roommate who was also working to be like "oh I think I'm going to talk to them today we need to talk but I don't know if they just want to be left alone or not..." while she (blessed angel that she is) just refused to give him any real information. But then he just kept like, trying to chitchat with me while I was working so I started brushing him off again and he ended up going to my roommate AGAIN to vent about me. And then left and texted her all this stuff about how he doesn't know if I like him anymore but he's just going to leave me alone and try to get over me etc and how he's been so stressed over stuff with his parents etc etc and framing it as if HE is breaking things off with ME. But since then has continued to go to her to ask about me and talk about how he's trying to get over me and heartbreak and whatever and etc. But has not expressed anything at all to me personally in any capacity since I told him I needed space.

Meanwhile I've gone on multiple dates with someone I genuinely really like and who has slept over at my apartment multiple times LOL. And there are so many little details of weird shit that I've had to cut for time here but like genuinely what the hell man

Anyways have I mentioned that this man is 34 years old. Because he's 34 years old. And if you've read all this you are so cordially invited to share your thoughts and/or guess his chart placements in the replies. Funny as fuck situation that I'm in

[whatever-color-of-the-rainbow]

for the give me a character ask: farrah, kate, and annleigh

(this is beheadedcousins main blog btw)

OH HELL YES.

Also, I’m gonna replace the “unpopular opinion” prompt with a “random headcanon” prompt instead, because are there any real unpopular opinions in a fandom this small?

So, starting with Farrah:

How I feel about this character: I love her to death and she deserves so, so much better 😭

All the people I ship romantically with this character: None, she’s aroace in my head

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I’m super into the Kate/Farrah ex-friends thing. I also think there was potential for her to become friends with Reese. Also, I read a fanfic once where Mattie and Farrah used to be best friends but then drifted apart, and OMG I LOVE IT.

Random headcanon: She knew how to play guitar and wanted to be a famous singer/songwriter (with like Olivia Rodrigo-esque music) when she grew up. Kate was the only person who knew this.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish Alcohol (her cut song) wasn’t cut. Logically I see why it was, but COME ON. If the song were still in the show, Farrah would be such a big dream role.

Kate:

How I feel about this character: I am Kate Dalton’s #1 fan.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: KATEVA. Kateva is one of my top 5 ships of all time. Also, I’m a sucker for unrequited Checkate.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: REESE. There’s so much that goes into this friendship and the fandom doesn’t talk about it enough. Also, I like to think that Kate and Annleigh talk/bond over losing people so close to them, because they’re the only ones that truly understand what it’s like. And then it blossoms into a real, non-trauma-bond friendship.

Random headcanon: Top three artists are AJR, Melissa Etheridge, and The Smiths.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish we had more little Kateva moments, like sitting next to each other or exchanging a snarky comment or two.

Annleigh:

How I feel about this character: I LOVE HER SO MUCH. Also she reminds me of my best friend, so she has a special place in my heart for that.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Well obviously there’s Clark. Also, I see a lot of enemies-to-lovers potential with her and Cairo.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I have no idea why, but I really like the idea of Eva and Annleigh becoming best friends post-canon. Also, I like to think she took Mattie under her wing as sort of a “second chance” to be a good older sister figure.

Random headcanon: She braids Farrah’s hair every day and surprisingly doesn’t hate it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Okay so, apparently Preston Max Allen said that Annleigh’s dad died when she was thirteen. So this girl lost her sister and her boyfriend, on the same night, approximately only three years after the death of her dad? THAT IS DEVASTATING, WHY WAS IT NEVER BROUGHT UP.