#and anytime I'm around him for long enough that he gets a glimpse of my actual personality

[im-a-freaking-joy]

Did I grow up with a father who only loved me if he could control me? Yeah, but at least he gave me a monthly allowance so thats a nice consolation prize i guess.

[whinesandwhimpers]

Wolfish Offerings

Part 1 - 'Hot Chocolate' (wolf shifter!ghost x f!reader)

White blankets everything outside, the greens and browns of the forest and the roof of your cabin now covered in snow.

Sipping your hot chocolate, you watch as more snow falls down in pretty little flakes. Maybe you’ll make a snowman later when it eases up, you think. For now, you’re just content to admire the weather from inside.

You briefly tense as you catch some movement outside before relaxing again when you recognise that kind-of-familiar fluffy backside as he approaches your cabin backwards, pulling another dead animal to your front door.

A deer, this time, you note.

It's the third animal—offering? gift? stock item?—this week.

You're not sure why he keeps doing this, why he chose your cabin as the spot to dump the victims of his sharp teeth or why he doesn’t seem fussed when he returns to drop off another animal only to find the previous one gone. Which is why you can’t help but feel like they’re somehow for you.

You leave your half-empty hot chocolate on your kitchen counter and head over to the front door, tearing it open and glaring at the wolf as he drops the deer from between his teeth and turns around to face you.

Snow decorates his grey and brown fur as he stands there, dark eyes focused on you.

"Alright, enough of you. I don’t want that thing and this isn't some food storage spot for you. Get out of here!" You're shivering by the time you're done scolding him, your long sleeve pyjamas and fluffy slippers clearly not enough to keep the cold from affecting you out here. The fire in your lounge room beckons you closer but you must deal with the matter at hand first.

The wolf tilts his head at you and maintains eye contact.

You've gotten glimpses of him around this part, your part, of the forest, aware of when he was nearby through his howls. And you’ve even exchanged far away glances at each other. He didn’t hurt you then so you feel a little better now about confronting him, however you aren’t sure if he’s about to devour you and you don’t exactly want to stand around and find out as you feel your bravery slowly leaving you the more he stares you down.

You flick your hand out. "Okay, go on, shoo."

Before he can have an opportunity to pounce, you close the door and start walking back to your kitchen to grab your hot chocolate. A bark startles you, then the sound of scratching at your door. Little Shit. Against all better judgement you go back and open your door. The deer remains where you saw it before but now the wolf is right here in front of you. He's even bigger up close, his head in line with your stomach.

Feeling brave you ask, "What do you want, Terror?"

He replies with a bark, much softer than you expected, as he slowly blinks up at you.

"I am not taking that thing if that's what you mean." You motion to the dead deer.

Another bark, before he bumps his nose against one of your hands that hangs by your side, then pushes past you and walks into your cabin.

"Hey, no terrors allowed, buddy! Get that fluffy butt outside! You're trekking in snow too, you know?!"

Your attempts to kick him out fall upon deaf ears as you end up closing your door and following him through to your lounge room where he circles a few times before lying down in a cozy ball right in front of the toasty fire, resting his head on the floor. He looked at home, relaxed, and more like a domesticated dog than a wolf.

Since it looks like he’s not leaving anytime soon and you really have no other option, you give in with a sigh. "Alright, you can stay for now."

He lets out a soft bark without lifting his head, then another when you try to leave.

"I'm just getting my hot chocolate. Stay." You doubt the command will work but you try it anyway, leaving him there while you walk to the kitchen.

He does in fact not listen.

You barely make it a few steps before he gets in front of you, making you stop, then starts nudging you, your stomach, your thighs, even tries nudging your crotch, making you gasp and push his head away.

"Terror! You're just a dirty, old man, huh?" You giggle, scratching behind his ear before you can stop yourself.

He huffs a breath of air out through his nose and nudges your leg again, before he takes some of your pyjama pants in his mouth and tugs you towards the fire. When he gets you to where he was laying down before, he tugs on your pants making you sit down, before nudging your shoulder so you're completely laying down on your back.

The cold must have frozen some of your brain cells because you just go along with it, allowing him to manoeuvre you however he likes.

"Did you want to eat me in front of a nice, warm fire, is that it?" You awkwardly joke, fingers clenching and unclenching nervously on your chest.

He lets out a little sound, a mix of a whine and a growl, and nudges your cheek, then lies down and rests his head on your clothed stomach, face in the direction of the fire, his eyes closing.

You let out a tense breath and bring a hand to his head and start gently petting him as you close your own eyes, feeling yourself warm up because of the fire and this big fluffy animal that radiates heat. It's not exactly the most comfortable spot but it'll do. You even ignore all the now-melted snow he's brought in.

"Don't think I haven't forgotten about that deer outside. And I'm gonna be really pissed if you eat me while I'm sleeping, Terror." You mumble, too busy falling asleep to hear the little snort he lets out.

Your hot chocolate goes cold.

[lukabrina-viperhound]

Never Love An Anchor - Prologue:

Luka Couffaine was drowning. months of plotting and rallying and carefully preparing, all gone down the great blue ocean, along with his body and soon, his soul.

and just as he is about to accept his fate, while closing his eyes and ceasing his struggle to stay afloat, he catches a glimpse of brilliant orange and shimmering teal, swimming his way quickly.

He awoke to a gorgeous face haloed by the glaring sun, with too many questions and not enough air in his lungs to ask any of them, he began coughing up saltwater.

“Oh, oh my. Are you alright? I'm not sure humans are supposed to do that. Not that I’ve really drowned any myself to know for sure…” The gorgeous face spoke with an equally lovely voice. So lovely, in fact, that it took Luka a second to process the disturbing nature of the sentence.

“What-“ he had to cough and heave and cough again before continuing breathlessly. “What are you?” But the question was redundant. He was saved from drowning by a beautiful woman with a melodious voice who, by her own admission, was expected to drown humans. something she herself was not.

His savior was a siren.

“Calm down, sailor. If I wanted you dead then I wouldn't have bothered saving you, now would I?” the beautiful siren reassured him.

“That’s not nearly as hopeful a sentiment as you believe it to be. After all, what could a siren want with a man that she keeps him alive for?” Luka found himself arguing against his favor in his anxiety.

“The only hunger I wish to satiate with you, sailor - “ the siren leaned in close with the top half of her body, honeyed voice laced with a dangerous edge, closing in on his waist and allowing the suggestive nature of her words to linger for only a moment before innocently submerging her body back in the water and completing her sentence, “is my curiosity!”

“Curiosity? Of what kind?” Luka asked, suspicious and still a bit flustered.

“Oh, just the healthy, intellectual kind.” She explained readily, smirking subtly at having riled him up so successfully over nothing. The other sirens thought her a boring prude, but she just made a sailor blush! “A seafaring man such as yourself, one I found drowning no less, surely has some stories to tell?” She finished her explanation, phrasing the ending more like an invitation, perhaps a request.

What could she say? She loved unraveling a good mystery.

“And what exactly is in it for me if I tell you my whole sad story? You getting entertainment at the expense of me reliving my trauma hardly sounds like a fair trade.” Luka shot back, now slightly more at ease despite his better judgment and bantering freely.

“What? Does my excellent companionship not suffice? You do realize I could've just left once I rescued you and you'd be all alone here for who knows how long. As I've said, I'm no human expert, but even I know you don't do well in isolation.” Her words had a teasing edge to them, something about her tone letting him know that leaving him behind and alone was never an option for her. He found himself feeling just as curious about her as she was about him.

“Be that as it may, I still feel like this isn't an equal exchange. So what if we came to an agreement?” Making a deal with any sort of magical creature was dangerous business, but the siren was right about one thing. It's not like he was going anywhere anytime soon, so he might as well take a chance.

Sabrina's smile widened in excitement and her tail splashed around in the water. “I'm listening…”

“Ask me a question about myself, and I will endeavor to answer to the best of my ability. Then, I ask you one of my many questions and you give me some much-needed answers about yourself. Does that sound acceptable?”

“hmmm… well, sailor, you drive a hard bargain. But I believe you've got yourself a deal!”

Art by the wonderful @the-lavender-creator who helped inspire this fic, along with this song;

[syloboy]

I head down the road to the taller building, hoping there's another big road headed to the smaller one down the way. as I walk, I try to keep my distance from any alleyways. I don't want that monster coming back for me anytime soon.

actually, I start to think. just where did that thing go?

I look around, trying to spot either the large-mouthed creature, or the timid kid in the crowd or in the alleys. as I turn to look in front of me again, I hear a loud boom, followed by people moving away from the sound.

but, oddly enough, they didn't run, or even seem scared.

but then, the people in the front started to scream and yell, telling everyone to run. I heard something about "the glowing fox" happening.

I force my way through the fleeing crowd, trying to get a glimpse of what this "glowing fox" could be.

but as I get closer, I see a glimpse of a young man that's tearing people apart. I look down at the floor and see scattered limbs and broken bodies littering the ground. there's so much blood that I can't see the ground.

I look back up and see the man right in my face, grinning ear to ear.

"why HELLO THERE! and WHAT made you THINK that approaching me IN THIS state, was a SMART THING to do?"

I stood there, stunned.

the man I saw tearing into people just moments ago in a frenzied rush was now right in front of me, and trying to converse with me.

"OH, you're not one to TALK, ARE YOU? YOU seem a little SHOCKED at MY THIRST FOR fun right NOW. well NO MATTER, I'LL HAVE some FUN WITH you instead."

the man swiped his arm at me.

I could barely see him move.

but somehow, I ducked under his attack.

the man looked down at me as I looked up at him.

"oh. those eyes. I WON'T BE ABLE TO SURVIVE this, WILL I?"

won't be able to survive? what is this guy saying?

but before I knew it, he swiped his right arm at me. I didn't even see him move. I should be dead.

but then why am I now at a distance from him? did I dodge that attack again? but how?

the man kept grinning. that put me off. if he was going to die like he said he would, why was he so damn happy?

the man lunged at me. but this time I could see it. I grabbed onto his arm as he came in for another swipe and tried to sidestep his attack, throwing him off balance.

but when I flung my arm to try to throw him, he went flying into a nearby building, almost breaking the wall down.

did I do that? I looked down at my hands in awe. do I really have that much strength?

the man got up and laughed. "NOW THIS is a FIGHT!"

the man lunged again. I could see everything clearly now. his momentum. his steps on the ground. his arm winding up for a horizontal slash. his breathing. his eyes.

…his eyes.

his eyes had a slight glow to them. I don't know how I couldn't see it earlier, but his eyes looked colorful. they had this orange color swirling in them… wait, no. it's a combination of orange, red, yellow, and green. yes, I'm sure those are the colors. they're swirling in his eyes. swirling and swirling, dancing to a rhythm that isn't a rhythm, a song that can't be heard, a beat that can't be felt.

he's getting closer, but I don't care. those moving colors are so beautiful. his arm is close. his smile is too wide. but those patterns look so mesmerizing. his arm is almost at my stomach. those swirling colors are majestic.

I don't know how long it happened for, but it felt like forever. his arm swiped across my stomach for so long. I felt no pain from it. I reached out to grab his eyes. to try to have those beautiful colors for myself.

my arms reached out. they were fast compared to how slow everything was moving. I grabbed his eyes. I pulled them out. there was no blood. only two dark holes.

I looked down at my hands. at the eyes they held. there were no colors anymore. his eyes didn't hold them.

the man collapsed to the floor as time sped back up to normal.

everyone around me looked at me in shock. some in horror.

the man grabbed my leg and said "please. please give me back my eyes. I need them." the holes that were once his eyes had finally started bleeding. the crimson red streaks flowed down his face like tears, begging me to return what I had taken.

but his eyes had lied to me. their colors had disappeared.

[catt-leya]

Prompt 87. With rick please!!

Smutty May 16.05.

Pride (18+) || Rick Grimes

The fic has become something nice and short 😘

"It’s hot when you talk back."

Summary: You are stuck in a tree and can't get down without help, your rescue happens to come along.

Frustrated, I let my back sink against the tree trunk and stare down. I sit about 10 feet above the ground and do not come down.

When I passed the tree, I saw a small cat sitting on the tree and I didn't have the heart to go on.

So, I climbed up the tree and the lowest branch broke off and I couldn't get down again.

If that wasn't enough, the cat didn't want to be rescued at all and backed away from me until it jumped from the tree and landed elegantly on all fours, which you probably wouldn't expect from me if I really decided to jump 10 feet.

I'm really not far from Alexandria, because all I really wanted to do was take a little walk, but I also have no idea when someone would come by here and how long I would probably be stuck here, so I cross my arms in front of my chest and wait.

I can call badly, otherwise I scream all Walkers in the environment together, therefore I remain simply mutely sitting.

I have no idea how much time has passed when I hear soft footsteps and immediately sit up to catch a glimpse of the hopefully alive person.

I groan in relief when I see our leader Rick walking around a bush and call out, "Rick! God, am I glad to see you!"

I've probably never seen him so confused in my entire life as the moment our eyes meet and he sees me crouching in the tree.

His arms hang beside his body as he raises his eyebrows so high, they almost reach the base of his hair as he asks, "Why the hell are you sitting in a tree? Or you know what, I probably don't even want to know."

In fact, I have a knack for getting into questionable situations more often than not, so I shrug, "I was trying to save a cat."

His septic look is joined by a big grin, "You were going to save a CAT? And now you're stuck yourself, aren't you?"

I nod and he sighs softly.

Of course, he wouldn't let me sit up here, so he leans his rifle against the tree and then looks at me again, "What were you doing out here anyway? I don't think you're registered for anything outside of Alexandria."

I lean forward and rest my chin on my hands as I reply, "I just wanted to get out for a bit and unfortunately I can't get back without your help though."

I see Rick nod and take a closer look at the tree. If he's looking for a way up, though, he can wait a long time.

Snippily, I mutter, "Don't you think I would have come down myself if there was a way across the tree?"

I can literally feel him roll his eyes and then lean his back against the tree, "And don't you think you should be nicer to the only person who can get you down there anytime soon?"

True.

So, I wait patiently until he finishes his lap around the tree and then looks back at me, "There's really no way."

I can't suppress a loud, "Told you."

He pinches the root of his nose before sighing, "You'll have to jump. It's not that high."

Immediately I shake my head and cross my arms in front of my chest, "Sure. I jump a good 10 feet into the deep and break my bones. I would have thought of that myself and I certainly don't need you here."

Frustrated, he throws his arms in the air and hisses, "Would you at least listen to me to the end before you talk back to everything I do?"

I actually get along great with Rick and I'd say we're good friends, but I'm irritated as hell about the whole thing and my impatience is starting to rub off on Rick, who's not used to anyone talking to him the way I'm doing.

But since he really isn't stupid, I mumble an apology and wait for him to explain his glorious plan.

He stands directly under me and then says, "You jump and I'll catch you. It's maybe a little more than a foot you'd fall and then I've got you."

Skeptically, I look down and assess how tall Rick is and if he would really be able to catch me.

Not that I don't trust him, but I'm very attached to my healthy bones and it's not that bad up in the tree.

A little meekly I mutter, "Can't you just get a box or something and stand on it and get me down that way."

Rick tilts his head, as I've seen him do so many times before, and asks, "Are you really scared? I swear to you that I won't let you fall. Ever."

Briefly, I let my gaze wander through the forest and know that I have no other choice.

So, I swing my legs to one side and grit my teeth, "Please, Rick."

I've never sounded so pathetic in my life, and I notice the slight gloating that was evident in his eyes before completely disappear, and he spreads his arms and assures me, "I promise. Just let yourself go."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes before I just slide off the branch, thinking for maybe half a second that he can't hold me.

But by then I can feel his strong arms around my waist and I reach for his shoulders in a panic to steady myself in case he wouldn't be able to hold me after all.

But when I open my eyes again, he sets me down gently on the floor, but without letting go of my hip, and asks softly, "Are you okay?"

The sudden closeness to him irritates me at first and I just stare at him.

He's so close to me that I could count every gray strand in his beard, and he tilts his head slightly again as he mutters, "Why are you staring at me like that?"

I don't really know myself, but I just can't take my eyes off him and I whisper, "Thank you."

This would be the moment when he should let go of me and I should take my arms off his broad shoulders, but I'm frozen to the spot and he makes no move to put some distance between us either.

His bright blue eyes bore into mine and I feel like I can't breathe.

I desperately need to say something and would have liked to smack myself when I hear how unfamiliar my voice is high, "I'm sorry I was so stupid to you earlier."

His lips part slightly and immediately my eyes are glued to his mouth as his full lips form the words, "You don't have to apologize. It's hot when you talk back."

Thinking I've misheard, I tear my gaze back up to his eyes and croak, "What?"

He lowers his chin a bit and looks at me a little languidly, "You heard me right."

His words sound sluggish and I notice my heart beating faster and faster in my chest.

Rick thinks I'm hot.

And as unexpected as it is for me to hear him say it, I'm ready for whatever would follow.

Normally at this moment I would be waiting for the male part to take sail, but it's probably a mixture of desire and adrenaline from that little jump that I pull Rick down to me by the nape of his neck and he allows me to press my lips to his without resistance.

I have no idea what's going on in his head, or what I'm actually thinking, but I let him push me backwards until my back is pressed against the tree I was sitting on not long ago.

His lips are pressed urgently against mine, and Rick presses his hips against me so I can feel the hardness in his pants against my stomach.

I'm a bundle of sensation and moan softly into the kiss as he forces his tongue into my mouth and I can finally taste him in my mouth.

I frantically slide my hands over his torso and want to reach for his belt, but he quickly grabs my wrists and breaks away from me to stare at me, breathing heavily.

He blinks a few times before murmuring harshly, "Don't."

I drop my head to the tree behind me and lick my swollen lips, "Why not? I want you, Rick. I want everything from you."

I'm surprised myself at how easily the truth escapes my lips and I'm thrilled that his grip loosens a little, but I still can't break free of him.

He looks like it's confused himself why he's rejecting me, but he shakes his head anyway, "Not here in the middle of the woods. I want it to be nice."

Slowly, I nod and sigh, "Okay."

Gently he presses another kiss to my lips and then whispers, "You're special and I want to do it right."

Again, I nod and whisper harshly, "Okay."

Who would have thought that stupid cat had brought me to this moment?

@positive-squid @hail-yourselves @mrsxreeves

[sataniquepanique]

Desert Song - Part Two

Spend the Rest of Your Days Rockin' Out, Just For the Dead.

Summary: Inspired by My Chemical Romance's Desert Song. You struggle to figure out a way to tell your friends about Eddie's resurrection. Then comes the more difficult task of figuring out your future.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. Smut, unprotected PIV sex, angst, drinking, mention of pregnancy, mentions of suicide/self-harm, mentions of depression/trauma.

Word Count: 4.6k

Part One: I Can See You Awake Anytime in My Head

A/N: This is the 2nd and final part of Desert Song. If you squint hard enough, you can catch some Twilight references (because I'm insufferable).

Nightmares about the Upside Down are frequent; you’ve had them almost every night consecutively for four years, so it isn’t surprising that you find yourself back there again tonight. However this doesn’t feel like a nightmare, the air is calmer, more comforting. Eddie is with you, alive this time, holding your hand as you kiss atop the cracked asphalt where he died. There’s no distinguishing marker on the spot, the blood having long been worn away. The screams from that night echo far away in your memory.

Eddie’s voice refocuses your attention, a reminder that he’s alright. 

“…Are you sure you want to do this?” 

You give him a closed smile, eyes scrunching up at the corners in reassurance. “Of course I do. I can’t imagine a life without you, Eddie. Please…take me home.”

He places a soft kiss against your lips, followed by your jawline. He pauses at the slope of your neck and you squeeze his arm, granting permission. Razor sharp fangs pierce your skin, and a shrill cry echoes through the Upside Down.

The harsh light streaming through the bedroom window stirs you. Groggily adjusting to your surroundings, the dull ache in your chest causes you to reminisce on the dream. You hadn’t even begun to think of the future and what that could possibly look like for someone like Eddie. He’s immortal now, you can’t expect him to be with you, watching you grow old while he stays 20 for eternity. That’s not fair to him, nor to you. 

A cold embrace makes you realize he’s still in your bed. Melting back against his body, he places slow kisses into your hair. 

“What time is it?” You grumble, snuggling against him with the intent of staying there forever. 

“4:30,” He murmurs into another kiss. Your eyes shoot open.

“FUCK!” Throwing both legs over the side of the bed, you scramble to find some clothes while Eddie stares curiously.

“Steve gets off at 5:00! You can’t be here…I can’t—I can’t tell him about you yet.” Stopping as you pull on an old Motley Crue shirt, coming to the realization that you had overlooked another key problem: telling Steve about Eddie’s resurgence. 

How do you tell someone that you’re breaking up with them for your dead-but-not-actually-dead boyfriend? 

Eddie gets up and moves across the room, placing his hands on your tense shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay.” He bends down to meet your eyes. “I’ve got all the time in the world, remember?” 

You let out a small groan accompanied by an eye roll. “I know…”

His brows furrow. “Thought you would’ve laughed at that…you okay?”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “It’s just…something else we need to talk about. Not now, but can you come back tomorrow? Same time?” 

He lifts your hand to his mouth, kissing each knuckle. “Of course, Princess.”

———

Another sleepless night leads to another somber morning staring out at the trees, longing for any glimpse of Eddie. You had spent the entire night wracking your brain to figure out how the fuck you were going to explain everything to Steve. You need to do it, and you need to do it soon. 

Not even 10 minutes after Steve left for work, Eddie quietly slides open the back door. He gives a devious smile as you rush over and wrap yourself around him. His strong arms pull you close as he breathes you in. 

“Miss me?” His smugness is palpable. A wandering hand tangles in your hair as his lips find your neck. 

“Eddie…we need to talk about everything.” As much as you’d love to keep this trajectory going, you need to get the chaos in your brain under control. Releasing from the embrace, you lead him over to the couch. 

“I need to tell Steve about you…about us.” You pick at your nails, still not fully knowing what to say when he gets home later. 

Eddie nods, reaching over to take your hand in a feeble attempt to stop the assault on your cuticles. “What’re you going to tell him?” 

“The truth. How you managed to escape, what Vecna did to you. I’m going to tell him…that I’m going to be with you.” The thought of breaking Steve’s heart overwhelms you, tears threatening to fall. “I want you to be here, when he gets home. I want him to see you.” 

Eddie’s eyes widen. “Are you sure? What if he doesn’t take it well?”

You can’t help but let out a curt laugh. “What’s he gonna do, Ed? Kill you?” 

He looks away and smiles, accentuating his dimples. God you had missed that smile so much. 

“We also need to talk about what happens afterwards…” your voice lowers, afraid of how he’ll react to your next sentence. He glances up through his lashes, a hint of concern behind his eyes. 

“…I want you to turn me, Eddie.”

An immediate shake of his head sends your heart plummeting. “No. Nope. No way. Absolutely not.” He waves a hand dismissively.

“Eddie, please, think about it. There’s no real future for us without it. I’ll get older, and you’ll just…stay like this. Forever. I can’t live like that, it’s not fair.” 

Eddie looks out the window thoughtfully, fingers flexing against your hand.

“We would be together for eternity. Just me and you, like we always talked about, remember?” You put a hand on his cheek, gently guiding his face to look at yours. The sadness behind those big doe eyes speaks volumes, and his voice comes out as barely a strained whisper.

“I don’t want you to go through what I had to. I don’t want to sentence you to this life—“

“—you’ll be sentencing me to death either way, Eddie. I can’t live without you. I had to do it once, and I won’t do it again, I won’t survive it.”

“I won’t leave your side though. I’d stay with you through it all—“ He interjects.

“—through what? Me getting old, eventually forgetting who you are? Dying with you by my side, knowing I’d be leaving you alone forever? Eddie, I don’t want that life…” Your voice is desperate as you plead for understanding. He sits quietly for a few moments, absent-mindedly tracing patterns on your thigh with his thumb. You aren’t giving up this fight. It was all or nothing. 

“Fine…” He breaks the tension, squeezing your knee lightly. Your heartbeat quickens as you look at him, beaming with anticipation. 

His expression is grave. “…just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

———

Steve came home a little after 5pm, tossing his keys onto the kitchen counter and making his way to the hall closet to put away his sneakers. “Babe?” He calls into the seemingly empty apartment. Emerging slowly from the bedroom, you shove your hands into your pockets to stop them from shaking. 

“Hi! How uh—how was work?” You choke out, leaning against the kitchen counter in an attempt to seem normal.

“It was long and boring, the usual. Are you…okay?” Steve gives a concerned look as he grabs a beer from the fridge. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay, shoot.” He cracks the can open and takes a long sip.

You nod toward the couch. “I think it would better if you sit down.”

He flops down onto the sofa, expression growing more grave as his wide eyes search yours for answers. “Is everything alright? Is Dustin okay?” His voice raises excitedly as a thought arises, “Are you…are you pregnant?”

“Christ—Steve, no.” Your heart pangs, knowing how much Steve wanted kids and how you always avoided the topic. 

“Okay…then what’s going on…”

You pull over a stool, fidgeting with your sleeves as you sit. “I don’t really even know how to start. Remember the other night, when we had everyone over?” 

Steve nods at you to continue. 

“So I stayed outside after you went to bed…and I had an unexpected visitor…” 

His face contorts, a combination of confusion, fear, and worry. In the back of your mind, you know that his first thought was Vecna. “Wh-who was it? Did someone hurt you?”

You take a deep breath, silently willing your heartbeat to return to a normal pace, simultaneously praying to every god in existence for strength. 

“You can come out now!” You call back towards your bedroom. The sound of his footsteps on the hardwood halts your breathing entirely as you anticipate Steve’s reaction. 

“Jesus—what the fuck?!” Steve looks like he’s seen a ghost as Eddie comes to stand beside you. He looks over, mouth agape, waiting for an explanation. You reach over and squeeze Eddie’s hand in reassurance and he begins to recant his story. 

———

“So, does anyone else know that you’re…alive?” Steve is still in shock, but doesn’t question Eddie’s story for a second. After everything that’s happened in the past few years, nothing surprises him anymore.

You shake your head. “No, you’re the first one we’ve told. I plan on telling Dustin this week.” 

Steve gets up from the couch and runs a hand through his hair, internally grappling with everything. “I uh—I think I need a minute.” He trails back towards the bedroom as you follow behind, leaving Eddie alone in the living room. 

Steve sits on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. “I can’t believe it…” He looks up incredulously as you lean against the doorframe, nervously twisting your fingers. “…I can’t believe he’s alive—“

“—technically he’s not.” You whisper as Steve shoots you a knowing look. 

The corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “You must be ecstatic.” There isn't a hint of sarcasm or jealousy in his voice. Somehow that makes it worse.

“I am…” Unable to look at him, you stare at the carpet below. “Steve, I love you. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do. I love you too, nothing will ever change that.” Not an ounce of animosity. Just pure admiration and confidence. Steve Harrington was a saint, and you don’t deserve him.

“Please don’t hate me for what I’m about to tell you…” you whisper at the floor.

“I could never hate you, you’re my best friend.” Another knife in the fucking heart. You look up at him, his eyes are warm and welcoming. The same eyes that found yours in the Upside Down all those years ago, broken and sobbing over Eddie’s bloody corpse. The same eyes that held yours as he rocked your unconscious body on the bathroom floor, an empty bottle of pills and handle of vodka at your feet. As the memories flood back, you choke them down, pushing forward.

“Steve…Eddie is going to change me, into what he is, into a vampire.” The words come out slow, fighting their way out of your mouth.

He doesn’t flinch, just continues to watch you, absorbing everything you say. “Was this your decision, or his?” 

Always the consensual king.

“My idea completely, Eddie is vehemently against it but agreed after I plead my case. I’m sorry, I can’t…I can’t lose him again. I can’t live without him again. I love you Steve, I truly do—“

“—but your heart was already given to him, a long time ago. I know that, I’ve always known.” He looks down at his hands and sighs before standing up in front of you, gripping your shoulders. “That night, in the Upside Down, I saw your heart get ripped out of your chest. It would have been idiotic of me to think that you’d feel that way about anyone else again, including myself. I love you, like I said I always will, but you were never mine to lose.” 

Silent tears stream down your face as you avoid his gaze. He tilts your chin with his forefinger, forcing you to look at those soothing brown eyes. A sob escapes your throat as you hug him, fisting the back of his shirt and crying into his chest. 

“Steve, what happens now…” 

He kisses the top of your head. “Give me a few days, there’s new apartments over on Prospect Ave near Family Video that are renting. I can move my shit over there, and you can stay here? Is that okay?”

Tears blur your vision as you look up at him. “Why are you so good to me, Steve?”

He laughs and squeezes you tighter. “Because I love you, you’ve been my best friend since high school. We’ve been through hell together, I’ve always got your back. I love Eddie too…in a weird way. I’ve missed that little freak.” 

He lets you go with a smile, as you wipe your eyes with the back of your sleeve. 

“Don’t let anything change between us, please?” You hold out your pinky finger, a gesture stretching back to your early years of friendship.

Steve grins widely, interlocking his pinky with yours. A silent promise.

———

Eddie moves into your apartment, crashing on the couch for a few days while Steve makes plans to leave. It isn’t as awkward as you had originally thought it might be, if anything it feels like old times. The two of them bickered like an old married couple, Eddie purposely trying his best to get a rise out of Steve any chance he could. One night you’re woken up by deafening music, only to find them in the living room, drunk off their asses jumping around to Welcome to the Jungle (Steve was determined to show Eddie all of the music he had missed out on). 

The day Steve is set to move out comes up quickly. As he turns back around in the doorway to say goodbye, you kiss his cheek and whisper “Love you Stevie” in his ear, before Eddie pushes past you to lock him into a huge bear hug. Once Steve leaves, the apartment falls into silence. The stagnant air that used to be panic inducing, doesn’t seem to effect you anymore now that Eddie is by your side. The quiet doesn’t last long, as Eddie swiftly scoops you up and sits you on the counter. He wedges himself between your legs, letting his hands wander to your ass where he squeezes so hard that the cold bite of his rings can be felt through your jeans. 

“Eddie…” you whine apprehensively as he nibbles your ear. 

“…we have to go see Dustin.”

He growls as he bites your earlobe. “He can wait a few minutes.”

———

The tension in the car on the way to Dustin’s can be cut with a knife. You and Eddie barely speak, opting instead to let him absorb the new music they were playing on the local rock station, which seemed to calm him. When you pull up to the house, Dustin’s outside loading a suitcase into his mom’s station wagon. Careful not to give away the reason for visiting, you park in the street facing away from the house.

“Hey Dusty!” You chime, closing the drivers side door of the car. Eddie agreed to stay hidden in the passenger seat until you call, not wanting to startle his old friend. Smiling widely as you cross the driveway, Dustin wraps you in a hug.

“All packed and ready to head back from break tomorrow?” You ask, motioning toward his suitcase.

“Yeah I’m excited to get to school, I have a project I need to finish up before finals.” He shuts the trunk of the station wagon and leans against it. “So you said on the phone that you wanted to talk. What’s up?”

You aren’t as nervous as you were with Steve, but your heart can’t slow down as the words start to spill out of your mouth like vomit. Every sentence makes Dustin’s eye grow wider, until you thought they might pop out of his skull. You sigh loudly, punctuating the end of the explanation, having barely taken a full breath through the entire thing. Dustin just stares at you, eyes like saucers. 

You shake your head uncomfortably. “What?”

Dustin chuckles abruptly. “You’re fucking with me, right?”

You narrow your eyes, crossing your arms. “No Dusty, why would I be lying about something like this?”

He matches your stance. “You know how ridiculous this all sounds, right? Vampires aren’t real, they aren’t scientifically possible—“

“—neither is the Upside Down! Or Vecna! Or Demodogs! But here we fucking are, Dustin!” You throw your hands out as your voice grows louder. “Listen. I know it sounds nuts, and I know it’s hard to believe by my words alone. So maybe it’s better if I show you…”

Dustin shoots you a quizzical look as you walk back to the passenger side of your car. He watches from the driveway as you lean into the open window, talking to someone sitting inside. You open the door and Eddie steps out, nervously looking over his shoulder. He breaks into a wide smile the second he sees his friend. Dustin pushes off from the trunk of his moms car, mouth open in shock as he steps forward. 

“No way…” He whispers as you and Eddie draw closer. Before either of you can speak, Dustin runs at Eddie and almost knocks him over with the force of his hug. 

“Hey butthead.” Eddie laughs, ruffling the top of his head affectionately. Dustin pulls back, eyes wet as he takes in Eddie’s appearance. He looks over to you and shakes his head in disbelief. 

You haven’t talked to Eddie much about Dustin, only telling him about his school and a vague comment about his struggles after ’86. It wasn’t your story to tell, and you wanted Dustin to be the one to share it with him. 

“You guys have a lot to catch up on. I’ll come get you later?” You look over at Eddie and raise your eyebrows.

“I can drive him back over, it’s not a problem.” Dustin’s smile is infectious. Even as a 19-year-old college student, you still can’t help but see that small curly headed boy with no front teeth grinning back at you. 

“Yeah babe, don’t wait up.” Eddie winks at you, the mischievous sparkle back in his eyes. You hold up your hands in mock defeat and walk back to the car. Before driving away you check the rearview mirror, smiling as you watch the two boys shoving and roughhousing in Dustin’s driveway like old times. 

———

You don’t hear Eddie come in that night. Another “perk” of his change is that where he used to be clumsy and obnoxious, he’s now graceful and stealthy. He crawls into bed, wrapping his arm around you and placing a soft kiss on your head. Just on the cusp of sleep, you feel his presence and turn around to face him. 

“Hi.” You whisper as he smiles back at you.

“Sorry I’m late sweetheart” he murmurs, kissing your forehead. He doesn’t need to sleep anymore, but still lays with you every night. He claims he doesn’t mind, that it almost makes him feel normal again. 

“Eddie, did you tell Dustin about me? About…changing me?” You run your fingers through his curls and watch as his face falls a little.

“Yeah, I mentioned it. He wasn’t necessarily thrilled, but he understood.”

“Ok well…I’m ready whenever you are.” 

The longer he waited to do it, the more anxious you became. You wanted it over with, wanted this new life together to finally start. 

Eddie sighs, running a large hand down your ribs. “I’m just…waiting for the right time. I don’t want it to be like, a bad memory for you. I want to try and make it kinder, more gentle than it was for me.”

Your heart swells at his confession. As gruff as he is on the outside, Eddie was always the biggest softy with you, always putting your thoughts and feelings before his own. 

Closing the gap between you with a kiss, his hand cups your cheek as your tongue dips between his lips. He meets your proposition and starts to explore your mouth in return, hand traveling in between your bodies to find a home on your clothed cunt. Kisses turn to nips, and breaths change to moans as you pull at his clothes. He rips his shirt off, you following suit with the addition of your pajama shorts. At the sight of your naked body, Eddie plummets face first into your abdomen, kissing and sucking his way towards your thighs. He pushes you to lay back, knees falling open as he dives head first between your legs. Eddie eats you like a man starved, ravenously sucking your clit as he teases a finger at your entrance. Your hands pull at his crown, begging him to give you more. The addition of two fingers leaves you writhing, heels digging into his back as he holds your hips down with his forearm. 

“Eddie—I’m close.” 

He pulls up immediately, mouth shining as you whine for him to continue. 

“Not yet, sweetheart. I want you to cum on my cock.” Kicking his jeans off, he crawls up over you, hovering as you wriggle beneath him. He grips his base, drawing it up and down your folds.

“Eddie knock it off, no teasing…” You scratch the back of his head softly as you try to buck your hips into him. 

“So needy.” He mocks as he pushes into you. 

The feeling of him bottoming out makes you clench. 

“Fuuuuck. Baby, if you keep doing that I’m gonna cum.” His eyes roll back as he thrusts again.

“That’s the point, dummy.” You breathe.

Eddie stops completely, a devilish grin splitting his beautiful face. “Oh. She’s got a mouth on her.” 

His hand snaps to your throat and squeezes as his thrusts resume a brutal pace. Your ankles lock together at his spine, pulling him deeper. Eddie was always a sex god, but now? The man was hyper in-tune with your body, and knew exactly what it needed. He slowed his hips, choosing a slower and deeper pace as opposed to hard and fast. You tangle a hand in his hair as he leans down to kiss along the slope of your neck. 

“Eddie…”

“Tell me, baby.” He purrs into your jugular.

“Do it now. Change me as we cum.” 

He stops altogether and looks at you, and you can almost see the cogs turning in his brain. “Are—Are you sure?” 

The nod you give is a little too eager in your opinion. “Yes Eds, this is a good memory to have.” You kiss him softly, expecting a ‘no’ but hoping above all else he gives in.

As he starts to move his hips again, dragging his cock slowly in and out at a torturous pace, he whispers into your ear. “Ready?”

You grip his biceps to brace yourself, nodding into his shoulder. The knot in your stomach tightens as he kisses and sucks your neck, picking up the pace of his strokes. You can feel yourself coming undone, something he already senses.

“Sweetheart, I’m gonna cum—“ He mumbles desperately, attaching his mouth to your neck again. The drag of his fangs pushes you over the edge as you clench around him. You feel him spill into you before the sharp pain of his bite, an intoxicating mix of pleasure and agony. As a tunnel of black closes your vision, all you can hear is him repeating “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby” as he strokes you hair. 

———

Eddie had tried to warned you, it was horrible. Your entire body feels like it’s splitting into a million pieces, molecule by molecule. Bedridden for days, you drift in and out of consciousness. Each time you come to, Eddie is there. He doesn’t leave your side. Even as you writhe in pain and cry out for death, he holds you tight and kisses anywhere he can reach. 

After a week of darkness, you finally open your eyes. The pain is still there, but now just a dull ache in your bones. The first thing you notice is how clear your vision is, like you turned up the sharpness 100%. Eddie’s arms are wrapped tightly around you, and feel…warm? A startling difference from before. You blink up at him and swallow a gasp. He was always pretty, but now he was etherial. Every feature of him stuck out, every single one perfect. You reach up and run a thumb along his cheekbone. 

“Hi pretty boy.” Your voice is almost non-existent, but he smiles at the sentiment. 

“How do you feel baby?” His eyes scan your face for any sign of discomfort. 

“You were right. That fucking sucked.” An exhausted laugh exhales from your lips, as Eddie chuckles quietly. 

———

There’s a lot of loose ends to tie up, a lot of people to talk to, a lot of plans to be made. The first obstacle is revealing Eddie’s revival, and by default your new change, to the group of misfits you call friends. Like Steve, they all seem to take it relatively well. Vampires were nothing compared to what they’ve all had to encounter. 

Robin takes it upon herself to immediately grab your cheeks, forcing your mouth open so she could touch your fangs. Transfixed as she ran the pad of her index finger over the sharp edge, “So Trippy…”

Surprisingly, Erica is the most excited. “—Vecna’s right hand man? Resurrected as a vampire? You’re literally Kas!” She shrieks as Eddie beams back. 

“I’m sorry…but what? Who?” Robin stops touching your teeth to give her a confused gesture. 

Erica rolls her eyes dramatically. “Kas the Bloody-Handed? Vecna’s chief lieutenant? Wielder of the Sword of Kas? Seriously—“ 

“—It’s D&D.” Eddie helps her out.

You, Robin, Nancy, and Max give a collective groan as the others start into a long discussion about the game. After loudly announcing that she would not be abdicating her Hellfire DM throne for some “undead Lost Boys wannabe”, Erica agrees to let Eddie help with some new campaign material. 

The support of your friends is exactly what you need to quell the anxious knot in your chest. This journey seems a little less daunting now. 

———

The two of you will have to move every ten years or so, in order to keep people from noticing your lack of aging. You’ll never be able to set down permanent roots, something you’ve become at peace with; Eddie was your home, no matter where that took you. 

After graduating college, you take an open position in a museum. The thought of you and Eddie never being able to have kids had deterred you from pursuing art education any further, changing directions and finding new joy in the hallowed halls of the Indianapolis Art Museum. Eddie on the other hand, fell head first back into music. Inspired by the emerging grunge scene, he starts to write songs again, convincing Gareth and Jeff to reform Corroded Coffin. His day job is at Hawkins Records, managing the small store on the same main drag at Family Video. This enables you to see both of your favorite boys whenever you went to visit on a day off. Steve would frequently hang out at the counter on his lunch break forcing Eddie to listen to something along the lines of Duran Duran, an expression that screams ‘help me’ plastered onto the metalhead’s face.

In the back of your mind, you know this won’t last, the ease of life in Hawkins. Everyone you love will grow old, eventually passing on while you stay the same. It’s a thought you don’t need to reconcile with yet, burying it deep into your subconscious. For now, life is good. Completely unexpected from what you imagined years ago? Yes. Would you change any of it if you had the choice? Absolutely not.  

[mysterystarz]

kairosclerosis:

summary: oikawa knew that he was happy, so then why was it so difficult to preserve that feeling?

pairing: oikawa tooru x g!n reader

word count: 1.4k

genres + themes: reverse comfort, angst

warnings: a lot of oikawa's inner thoughts, mentions of self-doubt

a/n: so this was a very self-indulgent fic (inspired a lot by this word and perfectly wrong by shawn mendes) and kind of encompasses a lot of feelings that i've been experiencing sometimes, but i feel like this was one of the things i've written that i'm kind of happy about ! i hope you enjoy this <3

Happiness was a feeling that was always difficult for Oikawa to identify. There were moments in which he could confidently taste the sensation on his tongue, a golden sort of taste that brightened his soul from the inside out, but other times, it was almost indecipherable to the other emotions that he seemed to find.

Why was it so complicated?

He often found himself sitting late at night, wondering how, if anything, people seemed to find glory in every glance, while he had to spread himself thin just to catch a glimpse. It was a question that drove him in circles in some of his lonelier moments, a constant reminder to the way he could never find the same sort of...fulfillment as others did.

It was something that bothered him with his late night practices, serving ball after ball across the gym, until the burning in his muscles was enough to drown out the feelings of inferiority he seemed to feel.

Happiness was as good as an illusion. To Oikawa, the feeling was far too short lived, far too fleeting to even be considered as a reality.

The day he discovered what happiness could be, was the day he met you.

It had been a normal day by all standards, the sunshine casting it’s glow delicately onto the buildings and the numerous sakura trees that lined the entrances of Aoba Johsai. It was a lovely spring day, one with the type of breeze that struck a freshness into everyone’s hearts, as well as their minds.

He liked these types of days for the simple pleasures he could indulge in. Eating his milk bread, he could pretend for a small moment that he was just another highschool boy, somebody who could make fun of Iwa-chan while being made fun of by Makki and Mattsun. He didn’t need to shoulder the expectations of the world, but he could still reach for the stars, and even hold one in his hands. It was why these days brought a rare sort of feeling, and it was why he managed to treasure them when they came around.

It had been on one of these days where you had strolled into the gym during practice, a concentrated, yet polite look on your face as you handed their coach your manager application, a gentle smile on your features when it had been accepted. You had done your job as manager to perfection, and he felt the morale of his team increase with every praise you sent in their direction.

Never him though.

He knew his sets weren’t as accurate as Kageyama’s, but they were still consistently improving. He didn’t expect praise from anyone, and yet found himself doubting his abilities when your calculated eyes didn’t make a comment on them. It was a neutrality of sorts. You never wrote it as a point of improvement, yet never complimented them.

Did that mean he was average?

The darkness enveloped his surroundings as he served again, his knee straining uncomfortably. He had been in the gym for hours now, doing anything, to get his mind off the precedent of facing Shiratorizawa the next day. It was a thought that nagged at him.

What if he wasn’t good enough?

Oikawa was supposed to be happy. He was happy for sure. His team had won the earlier matches, and cheers of their school name and the sight of his school colors was enough to send a wave of warmth and pride straight to his chest.

The way he felt defeating Tobio was one he savored continuously, the very thought of him beating one of his own demons fueling his morale incredibly.

So then why was it that he felt this way still?

Ah. No matter how many victories he held in his pocket, he could still never shake the way he always managed to lose somewhere else. He won against Tobio due to skill and observation. Was that really him and his team? Or was it just the circumstances?

A final serve over the net had him kneeling down, a million thoughts enveloping him at once.

Happiness wasn’t supposed to feel like this.

He wasn’t even sure what it was supposed to feel like. All he knew was the way he picked apart the scenarios, wishing time after time that the feeling would linger long enough. Call him goal oriented, but surely his ambition would allow him to truly appreciate the way something seemingly light hearted and accomplished would be like.

“Oikawa. Are you okay?”

He suddenly looked up, only to find your concerned face across the gym. You jogged over to him, water bottle in hand as you examined his position. He was on the floor now...somehow.

When had he fallen over?

“I’m alright Y/N-chan.” He smiled charmingly, “What brings you here now?”

“You’re lying,” you sighed, tossing him the water bottle. “Drink this, and then try that sentence again.”

He hesitantly took a sip of the water, feeling it soothe his insides until suddenly, he had downed the whole bottle itself. A glance in your direction saw him identifying a knowing look in your eyes as you smiled back at him, almost gently.

“You have to rest before the game tomorrow you know,” you chuckled, joining him onto the floor. “Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Why are you here?” Was what he asked instead, watching the way your expression never changed. “Aren’t you supposed to be at home?”

“Iwaizumi-kun told me something like this could happen,” you admitted, “I hoped I wouldn’t find you here, but here we are.”

He found himself brightening slightly at the thought. He knew that Iwaizumii cared. Behind the gruff and tough persona he put on, he cared deeply for everyone he was close to, always worrying for their well being and putting all of himself into ensuring that.

He must have told you about all the past times he’s been in situations like these.

But then why was it you that came? You were one of the smartest students in their class, and even despite that, you somehow made time to juggle all your other obligations.

He was important....to you?

“I’m here because I care about you Tooru,” you said, hesitantly ghosting your fingers over his cheekbones. “Please, don’t internalize what you’re feeling. I’ll provide you answers to anything you ask me, but please, just speak your thoughts. They’ve been troubling you, and that troubles me to know that.”

“What does it take to feel content, Y/N?” He questioned, feeling his confidence spike momentarily. “What is contentness when there’s always something new to climb for?”

“It’s where you can look at your achievements and feel like you’ve done something worthwhile.” You smiled, “But there’s something deeper than that. What makes you overwork yourself when you’re one of the best?”

“I’ve never been good enough to get completely to the top!” He groaned. “There’s always been obstacles and a victory...it makes me happy but it never lasts! Why can’t it last?”

“Hey,” you said, leaning slightly closer, “Maybe it’s because you never believe that you deserve the happiness you feel. I think you deserve this and a whole lot more you know.”

He turned his head upwards to meet your eyes, reassuring and genuine at his predicament. Perhaps what you had said had some truth to it.

Yet he still felt something weighing him down.

“I just want to feel on top of the world for real one day,” he admitted, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Yet anytime I try to, it always just disappears. I’m practicing so maybe we have a chance at winning tomorrow. I’ve tried so hard, but somehow the talent always beats that.”

“Tooru…it’s alright to let it out you know.” You placed a hand gently on top of his, a hesitant act that he found quite endearing. “How long have you felt this way?”

“Always do,” he mumbled, “And I feel pathetic for it. Y/N-chan, is there something wrong with me?”

“No way!” You argued, the passion ever so present in your eyes. “You devote all of yourself to this. You are worthy of all good things. I swear it.”

“I can’t bring myself to feel that though.” There seemed to be a tension building up into his chest and his eyes.

“Your team believes it. All of your fans too.”

He met your eyes again, watching your breathing slow. “What?”

“They believe you deserve the world.” you affirmed, your mouth set into a straight line of seriousness. “And I think you do too.”

Underneath the dimmed lights of the gym, your hand a gentle anchor atop his own, Oikawa finally broke down.

Perhaps happiness was the feeling of being loved.

He realized that as long as you were beside him, that feeling would never fade.

©mysterystarz all rights reserved, please do not plagiarize, translate, or modify my fics in any way even if credited

taglist: @kousukii @iwasunshine @kawaii-angelanne @haikyuutothetop @catchmewiddershins @animated-moon @perqabeth @sunarinluvr @elektrosonix @shoyotime @milktyama @ebiharachan @kitacharm @angelecho @bokuatsubro @pockydays @possiblypoe @srkuv @kacchans-sparkiez

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[femme-xx-fatale]

Just Hold Me For Now

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of self harm, depression, attempted suicide, poor body image, and swearing.

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: I haven't published any fanfics in literally years, but I've really been inspired to start writing again lately, so constructive criticism is welcome but please be kind!! I'm still quite rusty haha <33 Also, I would love to take writing requests :))

Also, my intention is not to romanticize depression, self harm, etc., I have genuinely tried to write this is a way that doesn't glorify any of that, but having gone through a similar experience, this was very healing to write.

You were standing in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom, tears dripping down your cheeks as you examined your reflection in the glass. You were wearing a pair of black, Nike shorts that stopped at your upper thighs, and an oversized, grey tee shirt that had definitely belonged to your boyfriend at one point. Your hair was thrown up into a messy bun, and your skin felt especially clean and soft, mainly due to the fact that you had just finished a long shower.

One detail about you, however, stood out from the rest. Long, deep scars covered some parts of your body, and god did you hate them. The way they looked running up your arms and thighs like steps on a ladder disgusted you, and brought old feelings of shame and regret up to the surface once again. How could anyone even love you?

The scars were old, you hadn't cut yourself for a few months now. It had been long enough, in fact, that though they had once seemed forever red and angry, they were now turning white with age. That didn't change the fact that they were horrible reminders of dark times, reminders you couldn't possibly get rid of.

As you looked at those dreadful scars, you remembered vividly the day that your boyfriend, Peter Parker, had demanded that you never hurt yourself again. You had been sitting in a bed at the hospital, with Peter crying and begging you to never hurt yourself again as he held you close to him. He had held you so tightly it seemed to you that he was afraid of you slipping away forever, even if the worst had already been avoided. The night before you had landed in the sterile hospital room, he had found you passed out in this very room, in a puddle of your own blood. The blood stains on the carpet came out, but it still hurt to look at the carpet, knowing where you were that night. Before then, he hadn't known you struggled with self-harm, and he was stunned at the news. He was terrified to loose the love of his life. He almost did, honestly. If he had taken even a few minutes longer to find you, then you would've slipped away forever. But he was really your superhero, and he saved you that night.

He had always told you that night would never leave his memory. You guessed that finding you like that, not even knowing you were unhappy, must've been horrible for him, and a pang of guilt hit you in the chest. You definitely weren't thinking about cutting again now, but the sight of the irreversible scars was depressing, and the embarrassment and shame of it all definitely wasn't going away anytime soon. Even though some of your close friends and family knew about your trip to the hospital, and must've assumed you had scars, you still always wore long sleeves and pants in front of them. Even with Tom you felt shy having him be able to see them, but you tried not to worry too much about it with him. Sometimes, you couldn't help getting eaten up with insecurity over it, though.

As you tried to calm all of the insecurities within your mind, your crying slowed, leaving you looking slightly disheveled due to your outburst of tears. You slowly felt the raised lines on your left arm, your fingertips being overly delicate, because you remembered exactly how much they used to hurt.

Suddenly, you heard the sound of your bedroom window being swung open, breaking through your thoughts, Instinctively, you reached for a hoodie that was crumpled up in the chair next to you. Unfortunately, you weren't quick enough, and the person entered the room before you could hide your arms.

"Y/N?" Peter asked awkwardly, somehow sensing that this was possibly a bad time. He'd gotten into the habit of coming in through your bedroom window, as your parents didn't exactly enjoy the idea of your boyfriend spending late nights with you.

Before you could even speak, his eyes drifted towards your uncovered arms, so you crossed them awkwardly across your chest. "Shit, Peter! You scared me!" You yelled, kicking him lightly on the shin with your foot.

"I didn't mean to scare you..." he mumbled awkwardly, eyes still glued to your forearms, but eventually traveling up to your face. You knew he noticed you'd been crying. How could he not, with your tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes? He hesitated for a minute before saying anything, but eventually pointed out the obvious.

"Were you crying?" He asked, and you sighed, knowing he wouldn't let you lie your way out of this one.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Peter, you'll be surprised to hear this, but actually, its none of your business," you replied sassily, catching a glimpse of your red eyes and tear stained cheeks in the mirror as you spoke.

"Drop the attitude, I'm only trying to help, Y/N," He reminded you, not unkindly, but seriously. "Let me be here for you, please baby."

"I'm just upset," you relented after a few seconds of silence, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand.

"As if I hadn't guessed that," Peter replied, rolling his eyes a little. "Let me see your arms a minute." The second he said that, you crossed your arms around yourself even more tightly.

"Well, they're right here," you muttered.

"Can you cooperate and actually hold them out for me so I don't have to make you?" He asked, even though you knew full well that if your answer was 'no', he would leave it at that. Even though he didn't always act like it, he did respect you completely. Normally, you loved his persistence and sassy attitude, but today, it was much less appreciated. You hesitated a moment before finally holding them out to him. He grabbed your hands up in his bigger, stronger ones carefully, rubbing his thumbs gently over the nearest scars, close to your wrist bone.

"Y/N..." He trailed off, and you thought you caught him tearing up. "You know I love you so much, right baby?" You felt yourself tearing up again.

It didn't take long for you to end up wrapped up in his arms, your legs around his waist as he held you close to his chest.

"How can you stand me?" You whispered after a few moments of quiet that only the crickets and soft breeze outside your window interrupted. You said it so quietly, that you didn't know if Peter had even heard you.

"What do you mean, babygirl?" he asked quietly, genuinely confused. You buried your face further into the crook of his neck before responding.

"I don't know... I just... You know so many pretty girls, but here I am. My scars are so ugly, they make me so ugly," you said, fighting back sobs the loud sobs that begged to be released from your throat. Tears were flowing freely from your cheeks, though.

"What? Y/N! You're like the prettiest girl I know," he said, not quite sure exactly what to say, but knowing he loved you and thought you were absolutely beautiful. "Listen babe, I mean it. You're so pretty and your scars don't make me see you any differently!! Like you're gorgeous and beautiful and just so damn pretty babe, like I don't even know how I pulled you-" You shushed Peter, cutting him off, but now you were smiling through your tears. You were feeling much better than you had before, and thanked him.

"I love you too baby," you smiled, kissing him gently.

[horrorslashergirl]

The Crack of the Past. A Hacker Fic

WARNING: 18+ ANGSTY AND SENSITIVE THEMES AHEAD. DISTURBING THOUGHTS OF A CERTAIN CHARACTER.

It was earlier in the morning and the Rivera residence was very quiet, the father of the family was like 90% of the time at work, because when you work for the New York Police, you don't really get too many free days and the mother of the house? Like always.... absent. That left Xander to have all the time and privacy to do his work.

Sitting at the table in the kitchen with the laptop in front of him, his headphones around his neck, grey eyes were focused on the screen; grey eyes narrowing, a glint of victory in them as he looked at the man in a hotel room with a girl who was probably half his age. The said man had an average company in New York City and had a habit of telling his wife that he had to do 'extra hours', these extra hours of work happening into luxurious hotel rooms.

Xander couldn't believe what an idiot this man was, leaving his laptop open and turned on; hacking into the webcam was a piece of cake, and recording everything that was happening even easier. Now all the 'Hacker' had to do was sit back and wait for them to finish then send this old geezer an anonymous email of how he knew his dirty secret and how his wife will find out about it if he won't send 20,000$ into the bitcoin wallet.

Taking a sip of his coffee, Xander closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the sleepless night get to him a little.

"What are you doing?" the voice of his sister broke his train of thoughts for a bit, but he still didn't open his eyes.

"Nothing interesting like always." Xander simply replied, taking another sip of his coffee, basking into the bittersweet taste that runs through his system.

Not hearing Chloe say anything, grey eyes looked up, only to widen slightly as he took into the tears-filled eyes of his sister, tears that slowly run down her rosy cheeks. This image made Xander swallow hard, feeling like he was swallowing acidic needles and he could only guess what was the cause of this situation with his little sister.

"Mom didn't come to my birthday party." Chloe's choked-out voice made Xander's jaw tense, running his fingers through his spikey black hair, he didn't know what to say.

Chloe was the sensitive and dreamy sibling, while Xander was the logical and realistic one. Yesterday night it was Chloe's birthday and he had expected for their 'whore' of a mother to not come because he was busy with that asshole who could give her more into the materialistic department than their father.

"Why, big brother? Why isn't she coming back?" the little girl asked him, her bottom lip trembling, her long black hair coming in front of her face, hiding her shiny blue eyes, eyes that didn't sparkle like they used to.

"People change, Chloe." That was what Xander could say, without sounding like a complete detached asshole, only for his sister he would be like this, more diplomatic.

"But why?" another why he couldn't find a proper answer for the soft-spoken girl.

Not knowing what to say, Xander opened his arms and gave her a soft look.

"Come here." he whispered, making his little sister jump into his arms and bury her face into his chest, squeezing him tightly, like she was afraid he would disappear too.

Holding his sister, his grey eyes looked at the screen of his laptop, Chloe's back turned to the screen, Xander read over the new email he received.

'The online drug store is a success. I know you have a good drug provider, but don't you want to grow up on the scale? I am willing to make you an offer you won't be able to refuse Blue Rain.' -NarcoManiacs

Closing his laptop, Xander held Chloe close to his chest, rocking her back and forth like she was a baby, and he remembered the first time he saw her when he found out he was gonna be a big brother. They were better days back then.

When their parents were happy together and nothing seemed that it would change and that scared Xander now more; people change so much. Families broke apart, friendships and relationships aren't eternal and can vanish in a blink of an eye. He wondered what was the point? What was the point of falling in love? Only to be thrown away later when the feelings burn to ashes?

"I'm scared, brother." Chloe sobbed, her small body shaking in his lap and Xander rested his chin on top of her head, shushing and rubbing her back softly, trying to be the rock of this family that wasn't a family any longer.

"We have to go to school." he simply spoke, making his sister pull away, rubbing any more tears from her eyes, she nodded, trying to stay strong, but it was obvious she was slowly breaking, like a porcelain doll to be crushed into the heavy boot of reality.

Running his fingers through her long, lustrous, and thick hair, trying to detangle it, he gazed into her eyes.

"Want me to put your hair into two pigtails?" Xander asked his sister, who gave him a small smile, nodding, getting off his lap, and bringing him a comb and a few hair bands.

Xander remembered how his mother used to do his sister's hair, and he had to swallow the lump forming in his throat, feeling like a vein was gonna explode into his head, his temper starting to boil, getting into overdrive, but he forced himself to stay calm and collected.

'The nerve of that fucking slut... Leaving just like that... Couldn't keep her legs closed even if her life depended on it.' Xander thought with pure hate, his fingers twitching as he brushed Chloe's hair, a deep dark need to choke the life out of his mother overcoming him.

These kinds of thoughts had plagued his mind for a while and with each day they got more intense; a child should feel love and warmness for their mother, but Xander only felt pure rage for the one that gave him life, but it wasn't enough to make him forgive her.

100 men could rape her and Xander would never feel a glimpse of remorse or sadness for that woman.

In his grey eyes that slowly started to belong to a madman, that woman could drop fucking dead.

"All done." Xander said, putting the comb down on the table. Chole turned around to smile wide at him, kissing his forehead and hugging him tight.

"Thank you, Xander... Thank you for being here with me." she said, her long ash pigtail bouncing with every move.

"Anytime, little snail." Xander said with a smirk, making Chloe stick her tongue out at him.

"Go upstairs and get ready for school... I am gonna take you there." he told his sister, making her nod eagerly and hurry upstairs, leaving Xander all alone in the kitchen.

Sighing, he took a sip of his almost finished coffee, when a notification sound pulled him out of his thoughts. Opening his laptop, the black-haired male read over another message.

'I am talking about making this online drug store one of the biggest in USA... and maybe internationally in Europe.' -NarcoManiacs

Cracking his neck and knuckles, Xander took a deep breath.

'I am listening.' -BlueRain

[sirensmojo]

Hunted Species - Geralt x Reader x Yennefer

Summary: During the quest of a Dragon which could grant any wish, Geralt keeps an eye on Yennefer that keeps an eye on you that keep an eye on Geralt, which leads to unforeseen outcomes.

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of sex & comedy II sassy!reader, witcher!reader, love triangle

Word count: 2,476

A/N: kind of rewriting episode 6.

Masterlist

When you heard about a hunt of an old dragon, you thought it was a great deal, a great purchase, or just a way to get away from here and discover uncharted territories. Even if you never allowed yourself in those areas for another witcher was already occupying the territory and to one witcher belonged one area, it was either ignoring precepts and instructions or living a life full of boredom and sorrow. You’d even heard a mage will be there, a so-called Yenefer and as if it wasn’t enough, the witcher will join the team, Geralt Of Rivia.

When you heard about a hunt of an old dragon, you thought it was a great deal, a great purchase, or just a way to get away from here and discover uncharted territories. Even if you never allowed yourself in those areas for another witcher was already occupying the territory and to one witcher belonged one area, it was either ignoring precepts and instructions or living a life full of boredom and sorrow. You’d even heard a mage will be there, a so-called Yenefer and as if it wasn’t enough, the witcher will join the team, Geralt Of Rivia.

You’ll probably look like a supernatural scout band.

At the moment, you’d preferred focusing on gathering your essentials and get mentally prepared for this new challenge. Although you hated to stay in one place and fulfilled the need to always be on road as soon as you could, neglecting the sedentary life, the kingdom became too small. You soon enough got fairly tired of it, this whole trip was the only exciting sparkle you could hang on in your life, not to be overly dramatic. 

On the J day, your bored self paced up and down the streets of the main city you’ve worked in, Chastisey. With such a name, no doubt why you were chastised. On your back was hanging a large hessian bag with some spare clothes and utensils for when you’d sleep in the forest. The thin material collided with the sheath of your huge sword at each of your heavy steps. No need to mention you couldn’t wait to drop foot in the other kingdom.

***

Two days and a half later, here you were, facing the Witcher Geralt Of Rivia. His eyes widened when hearing you too were a witcher. Not that you've waited for another reaction from him... or anyone. 

"Is that you the witcher of Chastisey who people talk about?" Asked Yennefer, suddenly interested in you for the first time since you got in here. Every head of the areas turn to you and the mage, as she gladly continued her tail "Your people say of you you're the fiercest of all, human and creatures put together, they seem to respect you very much," she giggles, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "Yeah, we share a strong bond," you nodded. 

They all start to laugh and give you sympathetic looks and smiles while he chuckles. "I bet you know what she's talking about, huh? What about you, Mr. Of Rivia?" You raised a brow. Yennefer muffles a laugh as your stare pierce Geralt's imagining shield. His head abruptly turns to you before dropping down as he grunts. "Yeah that's exactly what I'm talking about," you added out loud as if nobody was here. "A man only speaking by groans and curses, what a reputation," you finished as the murmurs stop. The previous looks of sympathy changed into worry as their eyes flickered between you and the other witcher. Yennefer squinted her eyes, what were you trying to do? She thought. "And you, a mage that gave everything to end up wanting everything back to have the only thing you could never have," you chuckle as you lift your cup to your lips. A giggle escaped your lips before you sip your mead. 

Now everyone was uncomfortable, Geralt looking at you, eyes narrowing as the mage in question looked at the fire in desperation. 

"Can I ask what was that?" He asks as you were laying with the horses. "She wanted to play, I just gave her a taste of her own medicine. Don't worry she's a big girl, she'll be alright," you bluntly let out without an ounce of bitterness. Geralt didn't know if he should laugh or be mad at you, so he reluctantly grunts remembering you made fun of that too. "That was a bit much, for the first words leaving your mouth since we meet," "First impression if everything Geralt, don't you live with humans?" You asked wincing as if he said the stupidest thing ever. He looked over at you, confused, but didn't add anything. "Are you not traveling with your boyfriend, Jaskier?" You ask out of nowhere, which made the man frowning even more, "boyfriend?" He raised a brow. "A man, singing praises of another man in order for him to be liked by other people, a boyfriend," you explained with ease. He choked on his drink as you glimpse of the smirk drawing at the corner of his lips. "So he not here?" You ask again, running out of patience. "No, he is" He let out as motioning his hand to Jaskier talking to some men. Geralt hassled to give you what you wanted, expecting you to leave him alone after that.

He was wrong.

Three days later, you were still stuck with him as if your life depends on it. He wasn't so sure how to react, if it was only on him he would ask you to back off but as Yennefer seemed to be occupied with her little pet accompanying her. What he didn't see happen were you to be with her anytime you weren't around him. Saying you were above being glad that you came here, even it if was to search for a Dragon that you didn't even believe existed, was an understatement. Indeed you found life with other non-humans more than satisfying and full of unforeseen development. Whereas it was the glares that Geralt throws to the man that seems glued to Yennefer or even the desperate stares he would throw at her, hoping she would come back. You found it even funnier that you could discuss the witcher's deeds with Yennefer when she felt lonely at night. Not that she will ever admit she felt lonely all the time. After the death of her escort, she kinda let herself be herself around you, even more seeing you were patient with her, but still being sassy at times, making her laugh.

"I could never catch those looks you're talking about Y/n," she shook her head. "Come on, don't act like that with me. I know you see it, more often than you'd like to say." Your brows raised as you filled your cup with more mead. "It doesn't matter anyway, not now." "Why not?" "Does anyone ever told you to stop getting into stranger's business?" She snapped. "You are no stranger, neither is Geralt," "Lies," she hassled to retort. 

"How?" She lifts her glimmering eyes to you, a glimpse of curiosity dancing behind her facade. "How can I lie Yennefer?" "I don't understand"  "It's you lying now," you titled your head, brows high looking her up and down. 

She suddenly got up and started to walk away, "Okay! How can you be that annoying but still speaking the truth!" She turned to you and closed her eyes a bit before coming near the fire again and sat beside you. "People lie, that's all they do," "So you surmised I could lie," "Don't you?" Her eyes find their way to yours, even if her head stayed down. You shook your head and for the first time, a smile curled your lips. "Humans lie, but even their kin still find a way to believe in each other anyway." You lowly let out. "I thought you were just making fun of me the whole time." "I was" You agreed. "That doesn't mean I don't see the truth lying behind you livid eyes and the walls you think you build up high," You sing, quite pride of the fact you managed to make it through her guards. "I don't like you," wrinkles appearing at each side of her eyes, looking at you. "Yeah? I don't either," you shrug.

"So you see my truth? If I follow your statement," she engaged the conversation back, ignoring your comment. You give her a steady look, as she swallowed. How uncomfortable you could make people around you was something you never understood, but that you gladly welcomed at this moment, as long as she'll be uncomfortable, she'll open up to you. That was all that mattered. "There was something between us for a time, but there's nothing left of it now," she throws a bough in the fire. You remained silent, looking at her movements. "What can lovers bring, I wonder. Besides silly pleasures, it seems anything life has to offer is deception." She exhaled deeply, shaking her head. "You're disappointed in me?" You suddenly demand, out of the blue. Her eyebrows joined before she stops moving, still gazing at the dancing flames. "It's not like I wait for anything from you," she nonchalantly shrugs. "Indeed," you nodded. And before her mind could even get the meaning of this, her body that understood turns to you, her lids fluttering. A second later, she frowned even more before glancing at the woods in confusion. "Yeah," you spoke. "I don't even know what I could expect from you," She openly speaks. "Nothing, honestly," you chuckled. She looked at you again and neared her face to yours. "I didn't mean tha--" You tried, as she kissed you. She pulled away before you could even close your eyes. "I let you in before I could even think about it," she murmurs for herself. Her lips came crashing onto yours once again.  As you were about to kiss her back, she pulled away once again, "Because I didn't wait for anything from you," she continued mumbling. 

This time, you pulled her arms towards you, before your mouth encountered hers in a blissful kiss. She kissed you back, with as much haste and appetite as you, lips moving together in a moment that failed to pass. You finally let go, out of breath, your eyes snapped open to her. "I didn't put you in a case," she continued her thinking. You rolled your eyes and came to her lips again to definitely shut her up, your hand dawdled on her thigh as your free one find refuge on her cheek.

The next morning, you woke up all naked in a bed and a tent that had nothing to do with yours. After you moved away your hand that was initially shielding you from the rays of the sun, you catch sight features you knew you previously touched and kneaded feverishly. "Yen?" "oh you're finally up, then get changed and out of my space," she hissed between gritted teeth as placing her fur on her shoulders. "Oh come on!" You deeply huffed as you dropped your head back on the pillow.

No need to mention you spend the rest of the day together, even though she made some teasing remarks here and there to annoy you. You knew that game and were heartily playing it with her.

"I don't think it is necessary," "Ask Y/n about what's necessary," she giggled thinking about the nasty things you did earlier, while eating like she didn't say a thing. The group exchanged some stares before glancing at you then the mage as wrinkles appeared at the corner of your eyes, in anticipation of Geralt's reaction. He swallowed whatever was in his mouth and clenched his jaw throwing the rest of the meat on the ground. Jaskier looked at him in frustration. 

[toorusquill]

august. [bokuto x gn! reader]

‘cause you were never mine.

warnings: mentions of alcohol, unrequited love, not proofread

---

[0:11]

“i never needed anything more.”

warmth.

that’s all you feel even as a harsh gust of wind blows the porch door wide open, the smell of the sea infiltrating your senses. you glance down at your fingers, interlocked with koutarou’s, and without thinking, you squeeze his hand tighter.

“are you afraid?”, he asks, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“and why should i be?”

“because we’re alone. i don’t think we’ve ever stayed here without my parents.”

you snort, tossing your head back in false contempt before replying,

“kou, we’ll be fine. you have me, that way we know the house won’t burn down.”

he protests playfully, letting his fingers slip away so he can put you in a headlock. you feel the bubble of laughter rising up in your chest, and he grins at you, letting go of his grip on your neck to let his arms settle around your waist.

you close your eyes, basking in his embrace. you feel safe, you feel at home, but there’s a tickle in the back of your throat and it’s not from laughing. you chase the tears prickling at your eyes by blinking profusely, as you hide your face into the crook of his neck.

of course i’m afraid. being alone with you, that’s.. that’s the worst thing i can do right now.

[1:00]

“will you call when you’re back at school? i remember thinking i had you.”

the sheets rustle, and you feel the broad of koutarou’s chest pressing against your back. he rests his chin on your shoulder, and as you reach back to pet his hair, he surprises you by running his fingers down your sides.

choked out giggles erupt from your mouth, and you struggle to remove yourself from his grasp,

“koutarou!”

you feel his mouth curl up into a grin, and he finally rests his hands atop your waist. you shift around to face him, and as you peer into his eyes, he can’t help the childish question spilling out of his mouth.

“do you think we’ll be okay?”

you quirks your eyebrows up, obviously prompting him to elaborate,

“when the semester starts again.. what will happen to us? you’re moving.. apparently.”

“kou, you act like we’re a couple,” you cringe internally, finding that a tad harsh. but whatever it took to make you feel less attached.

he avoids eye contact, “but- you know us. we can cross that threshold anytime..”

“i know.”

“so what do you think is gonna happen?”

you reach out for his hand, grasping it tightly before bringing it up to your cheek. you lean against it, eyes flitting downward. bokuto watches with rapt attention, his gaze running all over your features,

“i don’t know kou. whatever happens, happens, right?”

[1:44 - 1:55]

“wanting was enough; canceled plans just in case you'd call.”

your body seems to react faster than you yourself can when you see him.

“koutarou!”

he turns around quickly, arms reaching out to catch you. you snake your arms around his neck, and his, out of habit, fall to wrap around your waist.

“you came!”

he pulls away first, trying to get a good look at you. you flush under his gaze and you wave him off with a flick of your hand

“YOU called,” you reply, a smirk plastering your face. you almost let the cocky smile drop when you remember how easily you cancelled your other plans, before koutarou even called you. you shake away the biting feelings, and continue, “and i haven’t seen you in months. of course i’d come.”

“i’m really glad you did! honestly though, if people didn't know any better they'd think we're together by the way you ran towards me," he chuckles, beaming at you,"but we settled that a long time ago right?"

you nod curtly, ushering him towards his teammates when you notice that his match was coming up next. you don't let him catch a glimpse of your eyes, fearing he would see the regret in them. you hate the way you were caught in between an ache and a feeling of bliss whenever he smiled at you like that, you hated it more than you hated lying to him.

as you give his hands 3 squeezes for good luck, a single thought blares in your mind,

i wish we both didn't know any better.

[2:35]

“ ‘cause you were never mine.”

the taste of liquor is bitter, and it burns your throat going down. you give yourself a second to let the alcohol seep in, trembling a little from the rush of taking a shot. you feel palms rubbing at your back, coaxing you to calm down.

"woah there. you should take it easy, didn't this start as wine night?"

you struggle to decipher the words you just heard; the movie playing in the background just overwhelmed your ears too much. you sigh, rubbing your eyes and swatting the hands away,

"i'll be fine, and besides," your words slurring a little as you jab at their chest to emphasize your words, "you bought the drinks, i just provided the glasses. want another?"

you hold the bottle out, shaking it a little from side to side, and a glass is offered before you. you pour out a little of the spirit in it, and one for yours. you clink the glass against the other, muttering out a 'cheers', before you down it with your companion.

a rush goes through your head, and and you sway side to side before you're caught by a strong grasp,

"hey, since we're here now.. can you tell me.."

the glow of the tv illuminates your features, and they're visibly marred by a look of confusion at the statement. the warmth spreading against your back prompts you to focus on the face looking down at you and at their question,

".. do you regret letting it go?"

a smile as bittersweet as the liquor you had graces your lips. you understood. you understood completely. words you've been meaning to speak are now at the tip of your tongue; you only wish you didn't need the alcohol to bring them to the surface.

"you were never mine, koutarou,"

"but we were almost there, and that to me, is enough"

[4:21, fin]

---

a/n: this song ruined me, like actually ruined me. sorry bokuto lovers but he was the only one i wanted for this fic because he really reminded me of someone dkdkd yeah his bday is in sep but like taylor said… “august slipped away.” i'm glad that i was able to write something, but i'm still studying for exams!!

[neeswords]

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader

Requested?: no

Word count: 2032

Authors notes: I hope you enjoy it. If you would like a personalised one please do ask :) have fun reading! I am writing imagines for anyone in the one Chicago series!

Trigger warning(s): mention of death

Summary: Y/N is a lawyer and has received an arson case. She does to arson investigation for help and meets Severide. They explore the crime scene and spend time together and later become close.

You worked at the district attorneys office. You had just been given a case against a Javi Torres for arson and murder.

"Jessica this case is next to nothing. I don't have enough to put him away for arson let alone murder." You sighed.

"Y/N Y/L/N when have you ever not accepted a challenge. You are my best prosecutor hence the hard case. You'll do me proud you always do." Jessica, your boss smiled.

You laughed.  "Can I speak with arson investigation maybe one of them can testify or give me something to look this man up. Good chances are a jury will believe the word of a fire expert."

Jessica just simply nodded.

You arrived at arson headquarters and gave the receptionist the case number. She referred you to someone called Wendy Seager. You went into the office to be met with a small short haired lady and a tall man. This man was wearing a jacket which said squad so you guessed he was a firefighter.

"Hi miss Y/L/N. Wendy Seager and this is Lieutenant Kelly Severide, fire house 51, I'm guessing you got the pleasure of locking Mr Torres up. How can we help you?" Seager said kindly.

You chuckled. "Nice to meet you. And I was wondering if I could use your expertise here. I believe that you are the ones who declared this case arson? I will 100% stand for your case but from all the information I have been given,  I don't have anything that places Mr Torres at the scene. What make you think it was him?" You sternly said.

This 'Kelly Severide' then stepped in.

"I responded to the call. The fire was out of control before we even got to the house. My squad, squad 3 were first on scene and we saw this black car parked across the street we had just predicted he was the one who called in the fire. One of my men approached him to ask if he knew what caused it and the bastard just drove off. This man being Torres. We prayed no one would be in that house because to any fire fighter it was obvious this wasn't going to be a rescue, it would be a recovery. Engine 51 put out the fire and we then went in. And do you know what we found? 4 bodies. 2 of them were children. This man sat in his car knowing that these kids and their parents were being burnt alive. Tell me that's not enough to lock him up."

You sighed. "Look I'm sorry that you had to go though that, it sounds really tough. And my heart goes out to that poor family. However from what your telling me this man was just sat in his car. It's not a crime to not go into a burning building. I'm sorry Lieutenant but my hands are tied here." You said apologetically. 

And with that Severide was about to leave. Before he opened the door he turned around and said

"I know he did it. I just know." And slammed the door on his way out, clearly annoyed.

Something in you believed him. You wanted to fight this case for him but you just didn't have the proof to do so. You went back to the office and went over the entire case file. You could prove that this case was arson, the cans of gasoline prove it but you just couldn't prove it was Mr Torres.

"Y/N what are you still doing here it's late?" Jessica suddenly came into your office.

"There's something off about this case. Do you think I could visit the scene?" You asked timidly.

"It late Y/L/N—"

"I'll be an hour at the most" You interrupted her.

"Fine go. But don't go alone." Jessica sighed

You probably should have gone to arson investigation and asked for someone to go with you but instead you ended up at Fire house 51.

You walked in and was greeted by a tall blonde man in a white shirt. " Hi I'm Captain Casey how can I help you?"

You didn't really know what to say, you'd just turned up at a fire house unexpectedly. "Hi I'm Y/N Y/L/N" you shook his hand  "I work for the district attorneys office. Erm is Lieutenant Severide around?"

Casey replied "right this way" He led you into Severides office. "Thank you Captain" you smiled. He responded with an "anytime" and then left. As soon as Severide saw you he immediately stood up. "Have you got something?" He asked straight up.

"No, I haven't but I was wondering if you wanted to come to the scene with me. Maybe there's something that's been missed or maybe someone saw something? I mean it's a long shot but it's worth a try right?" You said. Without an answer he grabbed his radio and said "ill go inform my chief".

His Chief agreed and you and Severide made your way to the burnt house. You took your car. The car ride was relatively silent. You decided to speak up. "You know I believe you right." You didn't look up from the road. Severide didn't say anything. You awkwardly sat there.

After a while, you arrived at the house, well if you can even call it that anymore. You went to the door which was covered in a board. "Erm maybe we should call CPD for assis—" Severide interrupted you by kicking it down. "Never mind" you mumbled. You swallowed hard it was so dark it was a somewhat scary setting. You had no idea what you were looking for you just needed something that placed Torres at this scene. Severide wondered off ,so you decided to look around the front of the house. Most of it was ash. There was this family photo. The kids were so little you could see why severide was so touched.

"Hey erm law lady I think I might have something" Severide shouted from upstairs. You giggled and rolled your eyes and the name he called you.

He was pointing out the window. " you see that?" You nodded. "A street camera. How did CPD not pick up on that?"

He shrugged and called on his radio. " Lieutenant severide to squad 3. Request for squad to my location."

"Law lady?" You asked with a little laugh.

He turned around and smiled. "Yeah sorry about that I've been so stressed with this case that I didn't really pick up on your name." You just laughed

Within about 5 minutes squad turned up. "Cruz get me a ladder." Severide instructed his men. "Coming right up boss" was this mans response. Severide got the camera down within a couple of minutes. "Let's head back to the station and see what we can pull of this." He said whilst holding the camera up.

Once you were back at the station you and Severide sat at the squad table trying to find the footage you were praying for.

An hour had passed and the camera went black. Severide put his head in his hands and sighed.

"Hey we'll find something" you said whilst placing a hand on his. He gave you a comforting smile back.

It has got the the time frame of 10 minutes before the fire and the camera had come back on. You looked at severide to find that he was already looking at you. "This has to be it right?" He asked. You just looked at the screen. This black figure was entering the house through a side gate. We couldn't quite get a face out of it though. Severide was getting frustrated. "Turn you son of a bitch let's see your face" The man on the video had gotten into the house. When he suddenly came running back out. Due to the angle of the camera we couldn't see where abouts he went. He still made sure to cover his face. He went running back in with the gasoline cans. He took them into the house and then ran out. Except this time we got a glimpse of his face. Severide managed to pause it on his face. "That's him. Try telling me that's not him." He said. You sighed again "it's too blurry to be certain but I have a tech person at my firm ,let me see what he can do."

"Thank you" Severide smiled at you.

"Anytime" you said whilst grabbing your stuff. Just as you were leaving you turned around to him and said "Y/N Y/L/N" Severide looked at you confused. You laughed. "My name. My name is Y/N."

He smiled again "right"

Time skip to after the case.

You won the case. Olly the tech guy managed to get a clearer image. He even ran the face though facial recognition and guess who came up? Javi Torres. You hadn't seen severide since the night you got the camera. So you decided to go and tell him the good news in person.

You arrived at fire house 51 and saw Severide sat at his squad table. You walked up to him and just smiled hoping he would get why. "You won?!" He enthusiastically said. "No we won!" You answered. He smiled and stood up. "I never had a doubt" he softly spoke. You didn't know what to say so you sheepishly smiled. Out of nowhere he hugged you and softly whispered in your ear "thank you" you hugged back and responded "of course" you pulled back softly and Severide then pulled your hand "hey come on. Come meet the rest of us". You shook your head. " I can't I have to be back at the office, I'm on a tight schedule. Being a lawyer is never ending." You said. He nodded. "Well at least let me take you for a drink then?" You smiled. "I'd like that." You gave him your number and you went your separate ways

Later that night Severide text you asking to meet at this bar called mollys. It was apparently owned by one of the firefighters he worked with.

Once you arrived you saw severide sat with the captain whom you had previously met. You walked over. As soon as severide saw you he stood up and greeted you with a hug. You obviously hugged back. "Hey nice to see you again. I'll give you two some space" Casey said. Severide mouthed a 'thank you' to him and then devoted his attention back onto you.

"You look beautiful" he said which made you blush. You looked down. " thank you" you mumbled.

"Can I get you a drink?" He politely asked

"Erm sure a beers fine." You shyly responded.

Throughout the night severide introduced you to most of  firehouse 51. They were all so welcoming and kind. Your personal favourite was Herrman you really liked his attitude. It was getting late and you had work in the morning so you decided it was probably your time to go.

You turned to Severide. " I've had an amazing time tonight but I have work early tomorrow so imma head home." You said softly. 

"Right erm yeah. Let me walk you out." He smiled

You'd just left the door of mollys when severide pulls you into him. His face was so close to yours. You could feel his hot breath against your face. It took everything in you to not just grab his face and kiss him. "I enjoyed spending time with you" he whispered. You couldn't form any words. You were so weakened. You couldn't stand it much longer so you went to pull back when he grabbed your face. His lips met yours. It was kind of rough yet passionate. It was clear that we were both craving each other. After a couple of minutes we both pulled back. "Wow" was all you could say. He laughed.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked. Your smirked and whispered "Or, we could go back to my place, it's not too far from here." And that's where you went.

[tehrevving]

Hey Rev! Imma have to request this on anon cuz I'm not ready to be exposed yet haha. Can I please request an Ignis somnophilia fic? Make it real smutty. Thank youuuuu. ❤❤❤

Oh don’t be shy lovely anon. We’re all thots here

Ignis hadn’t been able to sleep, well to be fair, he hadn’t really been trying. It had only been a few days since he had confessed one of his darkest fantasies to you, he had expected it to take longer for you to initiate something regarding it. Barely a few hours ago you had followed him to bed, sat in his lap, ground against him and kissed him until he was out of breath. You had smiled at him, a devilish terrible thing and then climbed off him with a smirk on your lips.

You had reached over the bedside table, picked up one of his heavy duty sleeping tablets and with a far too suggestive wink, swallowed it down with a few sips of water. “I’m going to go to sleep now Ignis,” you had smiled at him. “I really hope I get a good nights sleep,” you had leaned forwards, brushed your lips against his jaw and bit down on the shell of his ear. Your voice had been so low and seductive that it sent shivers down his spine when you whispered, “I sure hope that nothing interrupts my slumber.”

You had left him panting and aching on the other side of the bed while you curled up beside him and closed your eyes, ignoring him. He knew he had to give it a few hours for the pills to properly take affect, but Six it was difficult to wait. 

He had been watching you the whole time, the soft pattern of your breaths, the fluttering of your closed eyelids. He didn’t know why the thought of taking you while you were asleep and vulnerable aroused him so, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

His cock was rock hard and straining against the thin sweatpants that he wore to bed. He had been like that for hours, since you had wound him up and left him throbbing and aching. You were topless and he watched your breasts rise and fall with each steady, heavy breath that you took. He was sure he had waited long enough, that you weren’t going to wake up anytime soon. He couldn’t wait any longer.

Slowly, carefully, Ignis eased his sweatpants past the prominent bulge of his cock. He was gentle as he stroked himself, hissing at the feel of his hand. He was so sensitive though, he couldn’t help but buck his hips in time with the rhythm of his fist. He closed his eyes and imagined fucking your prone form, pressing his cock deep inside of you while you were asleep. He imagined how you could react in your sleep, would you buck against him or stay still? Would you moan his name groggy with sleep? Would you even wake as you spasmed around his cock?

He lost himself in his thoughts until his cock was weeping, Ignis spread the viscous liquid around his tip and shaft. He didn’t know how wet you would be while you were asleep, probably not very, and he wanted to make sure this would work. 

Ignis slid the covers down your body, watched with hunger as your hips shifted against the cooler night air. He kept his touch gentle as he pulled your panties to the side and his cock throbbed as he caught a glimpse of your pink folds. Fuck he really hoped you didn’t wake up. 

He pressed his aching cock to your entrance, precome still oozing from the tip. You shifted and groaned against him, and he held his breath waiting to see if you would wake. You didn’t.

Slowly he began to push inside of you. He bit down on his wrist to stifle the noises threatening to escape from his lips, he didn’t want to make too much noise and risk waking you. It felt like his senses were heightened ten-fold, he struggled not to moan as he felt the warmth of you around him. He could feel the stretch of your walls against his cock as they parted to make room for him. 

He had no idea how you didn’t wake up once he finally pressed all the way inside you. The vision of your serene and sleeping form underneath him, impaled on his cock, turned him on to no end. He swore quietly as the sight of you made his cock jump and flex against your tight heat. 

He tried to fuck you slowly, but wasn’t very successful. The way your sleeping body moved against him, the way your limb form moved up and down against the mattress in time with his thrusts drove him wild. He watched as your closed eyes began to flutter, as your breathing picked up and your hips began bucking to meet his thrusts. He put his hands on your hips, using you as leverage as he began to fuck you harder and harder, unable to contain himself. 

You groaned out his name as a question, your voice thick and heavy with sleep and he couldn’t contain himself. He could hear your voice hitch, hear short, sharp moans escape from your lips as his hips sped up. His thrusts were erratic as he moaned out your name and came, spilling himself deep inside of you. 

“Fuck,” he swore as he watched you wake, his sweaty hair falling in his face. You groaned and shifted against him. 

“Iggy,” you called for him. “Shit.” He watched as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. You sat up and he groaned as his cock slipped out of you. You leant forwards, capturing his lips in another kiss that left him breathless. “You’re not going to leave me hanging after that are you?” You asked him after you pulled away panting, a mischievous grin on your lips. 

Ignis growled and pushed you until you were lying on your back on the bed. He grinned ferally, “absolutely not.”

[smileyoongle]

Idol BTS! Doing a live together

Requested by @twiwwo

I hope you like it.... sorry for the delay. Took me long enough to complete this. Let's get it....

Kim Seokjin:

You pushed the door open with your hip while trying to balance the plates of food in your hand. Your boyfriend, Jin, wasn't feeling very good so you offered to take care of him. You narrowed your eyes when you saw him doing a live. A few minutes ago, he was lying in bed while complaining about how he was probably gonna die. Setting the food down, you sighed and turned to leave without a word when he grabbed your hand to stop you. "So my beloved Y/N is here and like I said she's gonna be joining me in today's EATJIN!" He announced as he pulled you to sit beside him. You gawked at him but you weren't really surprised. This was typical of him to do. And it wasn't like you hadn't joined his live before. You smiled and turned to the screen, greeting all the viewers. "So let's get to it then. Just a little warning though, Y/N's a terrible cook so if I seem a little out of it, please forgive me." He said, picking up the chopsticks, his comment making you gasp. "Excuse me?! You know what, I'm a terrible cook, right? Then maybe you should make your own food." You glared at him and placed your hands on your hips. Jin suppressed a smile from etching itself into his face. He absolutely loved teasing you. It was the most fascinating thing to him. But before he could snap back into reality, he saw you leaving the room with the food. He let out a small whine and grabbed the phone before chasing after you. The half of the live consisted of him convincing you that you made even better food than him and you wrapping up the live due to Jin falling asleep on camera.

Kim Namjoon:

You stole a glance at Namjoon, who was busy doing a live about his new studio, while you tried to fix the figurine he had broken. Smiling, you shook your head and continued to join the broken pieces again. It made you really happy to see how content he looked when he talked on his lives. Getting deeply engrossed in putting together the last detached piece, you didn't notice that your boyfriend had now pointed the camera at you. Namjoon let out a low chuckle before mumbling 'cute' when he saw the way you, involuntarily, stuck your tongue out. You let out a squeal as soon as you fixed the figurine, before clamping a hand over your mouth. You looked at Namjoon to see him laughing while the live stream displayed everything you just did. "How long have you been recording me?" You whined and hid your face with your hands. Moving from the chair to the couch where you sat, Namjoon pulled your hands and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. He leaned his cheek against yours. "Everyone, say hi to this saviour beside me. She saves things from the danger of being damaged by me." He said, making you laugh. The comments were filled with how adorable both of you were. In an awful attempt to give you a hug, Namjoon let the phone slip from his hands. You both stared at the cracked screen while the fans wondered what caused the sudden disruption. "Not again..." You mumbled as you shut your eyes before walking out of the studio, leaving Namjoon to figure out how to deal with this.

Min Yoongi:

Yoongi was doing a live while you baked cookies in the kitchen. Music was heard through the speaker placed on top of the counter. You started dancing while gathering all the ingredients in one place. Yoongi stood leaning on the counter while he showed his fans what you were up to. He let out a low laugh making you turn around immediately. You widened your eyes while he walked towards you. "This is what the person you all, so desperately, wanted to see was doing." He said to the live stream. You lightly hit his shoulder and went back to making your cookies. Yoongi placed the phone on the counter so that you both were visible. Soon the kitchen was a mess while both of you baked the cookies together. You mixed the ingredients while Yoongi handed them to you one by one. Finally, you put the cookies in the oven and sat down on the floor. Yoongi grabbed the phone and you both talked to the fans until the cookies finished baking. You took the tray out and tried to cool down one cookie. "Review time!" You grinned at the screen and took a bite. Instantly, you grimaced and stared at the cookie. "What is it?" Yoongi asked, taking the cookie from you and taking a bite. He coughed and made a face similar to yours. "I think I handed you the salt instead of the sugar." He concluded causing the fans to send millions of laughing emojis. Not wanting to waste the cookies, you both packed them nicely and decided to give them to the members. This live was by far the best live that you and Yoongi did. "The next live will be the reaction of the members to these awful cookies so stay tuned!" Yoongi announced, throwing up his signature gang signs, sending you into fits of laughter.

Jung Hoseok:

Hoseok was doing his usual 'Hope on the street' practice. He told you that he needed a partner for this and you agreed to help him. What you didn't know was that he was going to live stream the practice. You suddenly didn't like this idea anymore, his fans had only seen you in photos but today they would see you on live and this made you nervous. "Y/N, I promise they're gonna love you!" Hoseok said while he held your hand. When the live started, you pretended that there was no one watching you. And soon enough, you were laughing hysterically as you danced with Hoseok. He was still teaching you the dance. When you two got tired, you proceeded to take a break. You answered a couple of fan questions before going back to dance. Hoseok was busy showing his adorable dimples when you screamed. The camera almost slipped out of his hands but he caught it on time. "What's wrong?" He asked, moving towards you while the comment section was filled with panic. You squealed and ran back to your boyfriend. "There's a freaking cockroach near the speakers." You said, covering your face with your hands. Trying to be brave in front of you, Hoseok gulped and walked towards the speakers. You watched him carefully, bugs creeped the hell out of you. Your eyes widened when Hoseok gasped and took quick steps back to you, stumbling in the process and falling flat on his face. "You didn't mention that it could fly!" He complained. The camera faced the ceiling before you picked it up while laughing. It was funny, how could you not laugh? The rest of the live, you and Hoseok sat in the corner of the practice room while calling someone to help get rid of the little creature. Everyone had a good laugh whenever they saw this live.

Park Jimin:

"Please stay warm. It's really cold outside." Jimin said, looking at the camera while reading some of the comments. He stepped outside of his house and saw you kneeling on the ground. Making his way towards you, he turned the camera so that everyone watching the live could get a glimpse of what Jimin was so mesmerized with. Suddenly you jumped and let out a 'YAY' which made Jimin flinch a little. Only when he saw the smile on your face, he relaxed. You placed the head of the snowman on its body and stepped away to look at it properly. Not noticing your boyfriend, you scanned around for any rocks that you could use as the eyes. Jimin placed a finger on his lips and looked at the camera, taking slow steps closer to you. He bent down and grabbed a handful of snow, throwing it at you as you squealed on feeling the cool substance on your neck. You turned around to see Jimin laughing, narrowing your eyes at him. "Game on!" You yelled and gathered snow to throw it back at him. For the next hour, Jimin ran around with the phone while you chased him. The live was certainly entertaining as all the people watching were already separated into teams based on who they support. Getting tired, Jimin stopped running and faced you, seeing the huge lump of snow you held. As you swung your arm towards him, he ended up falling before the snow could even hit him. You gasped, not because your boyfriend fell but because he fell on the snowman you made. Rushing towards him, you moved aside the snow and took the phone to avoid any damage to it. "Look what he did!" You complained to watching armys. While you were busy being mad at Jimin, he pulled you to lay beside him on the cold snow. You pushed his hands away as he attempted to tickle you, the giggles falling from your mouth while the viewers got very interesting angles of your face, good enough to make new memes. Finally giving up, Jimin lay on top of you, his cheek next to yours. The fans gave very hearty reactions although there were some hateful comments. The live ended with the two of you going back inside the warmth of your house.

Kim Taehyung:

You and Taehyung were the crazy but perfect couple. So here you were, in the middle of the night, ready to blast your favourite songs in a karaoke booth. Taehyung started a live on his phone and placed it in the corner of the room, making sure that both of you were visible. You had been in taehyung's lives before and the fans were very fond of you. You held the mic as Taehyung chose the song. You let out a loud laugh when you heard the beats to "I am the Best" by 2NE1. In a few minutes, the two of you were singing as if your life depended on it. As usual, Taehyung went into his karaoke mode which consisted of him dancing in the most hilarious ways possible. You moved closer to the phone to read some comments. One of the viewers enquired about taehyung's rainbow wig. You held taehyung's hand and pulled him to you while pointing at the comment. He narrowed his eyes and thought for a minute. Suddenly he gave his boxy grin and went away while you shrugged at the camera. Taehyung came back, sporting your green scarf on his head. "Not rainbow but it works!" He grinned, taking your hand and going to choose the next song. The live went on for a pretty long time and two of you didn't look like you were gonna stop anytime soon. After watching Taehyung rap to cypher, you decided it was probably enough for the night. You both gathered your things and left to go home but ended up getting distracted on the way by an arcade. Taehyung held the phone up and placed his other hand on your shoulder, dragging you into the arcade. "It ain't over yet!" He said, striking his signature V pose. The live went on as the viewers watched you both beat each other's scores in the colourful arcade until the sun rose on the horizon.

Jeon Jungkook:

It was April fools day and Jungkook had been thinking of pranks to scare you. It had become a tradition and you had managed to come up with the best prank every single time. Jungkook sighed and started a live, regardless of whether he was gonna prank you or not. It had been a week since you and Jungkook had bought a car and you were currently out buying groceries. The bell rang, your arrival being announced by loud sobs coming from outside. Jungkook ran to the door and saw you crying, holding the steering wheel of the car in your hand. His expression was so hilarious, you really wanted to laugh. You dropped the steering wheel and hugged him, crying into his shirt. The fans were going berserk, they already figured this was a prank. "They sold us a fake car. I was pulling into the driveway when the steering wheel just came out, kook." You mumbled, sniffling to add more effect. Slowly Jungkook wrapped an arm around you, trying to understand how you managed to damage a new car. His eyes fell on the screen of the phone, reading a comment which stated that this was a prank for sure. He smiled evilly and pulled away from you. "If it's already broken then why not do it nicely?" He said, making you confused. He handed you the phone and went inside the house. "What is going on?" You asked the viewers. Before you could read the answers, Jungkook came back with a bat in his hand. He grabbed your hand and smiled at you, dragging you to the car. He raised the bat in his hand, ready to strike the windshield. "No, Jungkook! It was a prank!" You yelled and held his hand. At first, he gave you a serious glance but soon burst out laughing. You rolled your eyes. "You knew." You said, looking at the screen. Jungkook took the phone from you, still laughing. "I love you all!" He winked at the camera. You jumped on his back as he carried you inside the house. "There's always a next time." You shrugged, trying to look unbothered. Jungkook chuckled and set you on the couch, laying down on your stomach. A good half an hour later of conversing with the fans, you suddenly gasped. Pushing Jungkook off of you, you ran outside. Jungkook groaned, rubbing his elbow. "What happened?!" He yelled behind you. He heard the front door open as he stared at the live. "There was ice-cream in the grocery bag!" You answered, continuing your rescue mission while Jungkook shook his head and laughed.

[lareinenoir]

∆Apple of my Eye∆

Loki x Female! Reader

Request: Hi, I love your work so much!! I was wondering if you could do a Loki x female reader where the reader isn’t heavy but she isn’t fit either. Where reader has been through a lot (depression, heartbreak, etc.) and when she sees another girl flirting with Loki she doesn’t have enough self-confidence to do anything about it but Loki notices and a lot of fluff happens.

@em18-blue-soccer-love

Summary: Body image is what you have struggled with for quite a while. Meeting Loki distracted you from it and his constant compliments always made you blush like crazy! When you are invited to one of Tony Stark's party and see your ex-best friend, the memories of your years in college come back. The memories weren't as fun as they are supposed to be.

A/N: I just wanna say, you are all beautiful and self-love is what I've struggled with for so long! For the past two years, I have learned that loving myself is the best thing for me. If you ever need a reminder on how "beautifully and wonderfully made" you are, hmu. ☺

Tag list: @tell-me-a-poem @thatweirdwalangpake @schizonephilim @hisparadox @empressoftheundergroundsun

"Morning precious." Says Loki kissing your head as you stretch your arms and look to the clock.

"Morning? It's noon." You yawn watching Loki toss an apple in his hand "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Well," he says walking over and kissing your head. "you look rather peaceful asleep and I couldn't bring myself to wake you."

"How charming." You replied and he passed you the apple.

"Eat, an apple a day gives the doctor away."

Bursting out you laughing you wipe the apple on the blanket and roll your eyes. "It's an apple a day keeps the doctor away' silly."

"Bah." He says waving his hand "Your Midgardian sayings are all so...let's just say they mean so many things."

"Haha." You shrug taking a bite. "Don't worry, I don't plan on visiting the doctor anytime soon. At least not because I'm sick."

"Good," he nods as he stands you up and pulled you to his body. "I don't want my precious queen getting the chills."

"You Asgardians never get sick." You say while chewing the apple. "Like...for the past two years I've known you and Thor not once have you gotten sick."

"Our immune systems aren't as weak as you mortals." He laughs and you snort

"Hey! Offensive to my people." You giggle slapping him on the shoulder as Loki lays his head in your lap. "We aren't as weak as you think, Loki. Especially women."

"Darling, men-" you give him a warning look and he gets your hint. "What I meant to say was...mortal men will never be stronger than Asgardian men."

"Whatever." You roll your eyes finishing the apple. "Speaking of men," you say, placing the apple core on the dresser "Tony invited us to his house for a little surprise party for Pepper. Do you wanna be my date?" You Giggle

"well..." He said pretending to think. "I'd have to ask the woman I'm currently with if she'd be OK with me going on a date with a very good looking woman, such as yourself."

You smirked and folded your arms as he twists a strand of your hair around his finger. "I'm sure the woman you're seeing wouldn't mind." You joke kneeling down your head to kiss his nose. "If you don't tell her I mean. It can be our little secret."

"Our little secret."

Sharing a small kiss you brush back his jet black hair just to study his face. You felt so lucky to have him.

Tony's parties. Always full of people. Men in expensive suits and Rolex watches. Woman in fitted dresses that matched there handbag. Not to mention some very hot eye candy on the arms of a woman or man.

"You've been staring at your reflection for two hours and have changed outfits seventeen times, not counting this one." Loki groaned getting frustrated and you shook your head

"You men have it easy. All you do is show up in a tux and add gel to your hair." You say heading back to the closet. "I don't...I just want to look the part."

Loki sits up in his elbows off the bed and squinted at you. "The part?" He questions

You instantly close your lips and bring out three more dresses. "So, which one. Blush? Copper red or Zesty-"

He appears in front of you with his index finger against your lips. His eyes in you he slowly takes the hangers and tosses them on the bed. "Y/N, I told you that you look ravishing in all of them. Asking me over and over again will not change my mind." You smile and he kisses the corner of your mouth. "You look good in everything."

"Aw." You say grinning like a ninny trying to avoid his eyes. You wanted to say, 'no I'm not' but you knew how much it annoyed him. "Thanks." You whisper biting your lip.

"Excellent, now can we please go? I'm afraid we are going to be rather late." Said Loki taking your hand in his.

"The party will just be getting started when we arrive." You shrug and you two share a laugh. "He'll have the drinks out by then I hope."

"You mortals and your alcoholic beverages." He said rolling his eyes. "They are a bit on the weak side."

You roll your eyes at him and pinch his butt cheek. "Shut up."

He winks at you and gives you a slap on the ass as you continue walking

When you arrive at Tony's place you are greeted by a whole lot of people bumping into you and Loki and are quickly offered a drink.

"Weren't sure you were going to show up." Said Rhodey handing you and Loki a glass of vodka. "Thor is over there with Steve and Bucky. He said our beverages aren't strong enough for a god."

"And he is indeed right." Said Loki handing it back. "I'm going to go over there, Y/N?" He sort of asks. "Will you be alright for a bit?"

"I will." You nod and he kisses your cheek. "Go on, have fun."

Watching Loki disappear in the crowd of people, you turn and see Rhodey is gone off and is dancing on some tables with Tony.

"Y/N!" Shouts Pepper and you take a sip of the drink as she wraps her arms around your neck. "Glad you could come. Having fun?"

"Yeah. You should be the one having fun! Happy birthday." You said kissing her cheek. "Sorry I couldn't be there to say 'Surprise' I think I spent more time figuring out what to wear than anything."

"No worries. You look great." She motions with her hands. "It wasn't much of a surprise anyway. Vision accidentally spilled the beans. He's still learning." Pepper shrugged "To surprises?" She raised her martini and you clinked it with hers

"Surprises." You say as you both take a large sip.

Walking around and partying with the others you catch a glimpse of Loki doing shots with Steve and Thor.

"What the heck?" You ask seeing they drew a big crowd. The countertop full of shot glasses, Tony filling them while Clint counted. "You've got to be kidding me." You laugh hearing everyone cheer.

In college, this is what the guys did at frat parties. Why the heck were they doing it. Grown men!

"Rogers wins!" Said Clint and everyone began to holler loudly. "Thirty-two shots in one minute." He announces

"I still think you won." You hear someone say as they approach Loki hands grazing his shoulder.

You stared at those perfectly manicured pink acrylic nails and held your breath when you recognized the black stilettoes.

"Thank you." Loki nods chuckling nervously

"I'm Missy Donaven" She introduces herself holding out her free hand. "You must be Loki."

"I am indeed. Its a pleasure to meet you, Missy Donovan." Said Loki being very polite.

You watched them carefully but couldn't help but stare from a distance at her perfectly shaped lips that curved into a smile. How her giggle made your skin crawl because of how lovely it was. Your heart beats with fear a bit as Missy and Loki talked. She would laugh then touch his chest.

Touching Loki! Touching Loki!

"You have a sense of humor. Pretty good looking too." She winks touching his hair.

Touching his hair! Touching his hair!

That's when she looked up and caught your eye. Quickly turning the other way you feel your feet begin to speed walk through the crowd.

"Where you going in a hurry?" Asks Natasha stopping you

Brushing past her you ignore and keep walking until you were in a bathroom. One perfect bathroom with a sink and mirror. And staring in it made you look away. Seeing Missy and how beautiful her red hair was made your body ache. You weren't as pretty as she was. You knew that. She had curves...you weren't sure if you had any. Missy had big boobs...bigger than yours.

Looking away from the mirror, you take a seat on the edge of the tub and bite your lip. Just as you took in a breath the door opens and a smiling Missy Donovan walks in.

"I knew it was you." She says closing the door. "The smell of loneliness was a dead give away."

You didn't want to fight. You weren't in the mood to exchange insults with her. It bothered you more because you should have known to lock the door.

"Where ya going? Don't you wanna talk to me? I haven't seen you in ages Y/N." She says face now in the mirror touching up her makeup.

"I-"

"You look like a Teletubbie. I'm actually surprised you came out of the house in a dress. I thought you were more of pants and oversized hoodie kinda girl. But I can't complain too much." Missy shrugs fixing her hair and making kissing faces in the mirror. "Its a step up. A lot of people thought you were a dike Y/N, because of the way you dressed. Hell, I thought you were. It's an improvement." She spins on her heels, red hair slapping you a bit in your face as she grazes her finger across your cheek. "A+ for trying I guess."

Sucking in your cheeks, you stay silent and hold in your tears. It was very hard to look at her small pale feet and know, in your mind, Loki would pick her.

"Lay off the twinkies? I think I'm seeing a quadruple chin. You definitely need to hit the gym." Missy giggle perking up her breasts. "Hopefully I get this sexy hunk of a man in bed with me. I'll be sure to text you what it's like to sleep with a god."

Back against the wall, you feel helpless and hold in your tears. You even stopped breathing. Missy never allowed you to look at her directly. She always said, "only pretty people can look at me." In college, you waited on Missy. You were at her every beck and call she made sure you knew your place.

She'd always remind you how fat you looked in clothes. The first day you met her, you wore a dress to a party. "Oh honey, you look like a bloated Turkey."

At the time it was a joke? Right? Missy didn't mean anything by it...

When Missy had planned parties, you were in charge but never invited. "I don't want you eating up all the snacks."

One time you did have the nerve to buck up when you found out she was making out with a guy you liked.

"I'm saving you, Y/N. Pedro wouldn't date someone like you. He doesn't go for the girls who look like street trash."

Pedro Hernandez, you had an Instagram spam page and Pedro followed it. He commented on one of your memes and then started DM you. You kept it from Missy for obvious reasons. You and Pedro never met, or even sent pictures to each other. Unfortunately, Missy found out that you guys were planning on meeting and pretended to be you.

"I can't believe I ever thought we were friends." You said but you were more upset with Pedro then anything. He ended up picking Missy Donaven over you.

You and Missy stopped being 'friends' You told yourself, "College all by myself is way better than having someone like Missy."

And here you are. In the bathroom tub crying your eyes out because it was happening all over again. You knew how it would end. Loki would pick Missy. And you wouldn't blame him.

There was a knock at the door and you said,

"Go away!"

"Y/N? Is that you? Are you alright?"

You said nothing. Loki was probably coming to tell you that you were breaking up. He was gonna go for Missy...

"Y/N...I'm coming in. Ok? I'm coming in."

Not looking up, you felt his body heat over you. Loki knew why you were upset. Missy let it slip that you were in the bathroom crying.

"Y/N... I do hate seeing you cry." He tells you, climbing in the tub with you.

Looking up and at the sink, you shake your head. "I saw you with her. At first, I was mad but...I understand. She's pretty. Way prettier than me. Nice big boobs. Tinier waist with a nice ass...curves that I don't have. She isn't fat like me. It's ok. I'm not mad."

"Y/N, I'm afraid-"

"Loki you deserve better. A better-looking girl than me. She's perfect for you. Missy is...she's the perfect girl in every way."

You weren't sure if he was listening or not but he lifts your chin and wipes the pad of his thumb across your cheek. "Y/N. I picked a woman." Loki was looking at you. Eyes so intently looking only at you "I picked a woman, not a girl looking for attention. You are the apple of my eye. You are perfect for me.”

He meant every word. You knew it. Now, you felt stupid for just thinking Otherwise. Loki had already picked you.

"Do you-"

You pressed your lips on his smoothly and inhaled his scent as he kissed you back. Loki held you to his body with a firm grip on the small of your back as your lips moved in sync together. You pull away and he gives you a questionable look,

“What is it, Y/N?”

“Kissing in a bathtub? That will be one hell of a memory.”

both sharing a quick laugh kisses your top lip lightly. “Then let's not ruin it then, yeah?”

[ridiculousravenclaw]

The Life of Elara Ware

This is a Harry Potter fanfic. Main character Elara is an original character by moi and is George Weasleys gf they started dating in 5th year. she's half blood hens the mention of muggle technology before anyone asks. And it's set during the GOF. I've never written anything like this before either so be nice.

Chapter 1

Elara couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She read the note again, unable to hide her relief at the sight of the familiar untidy scrawl. 'Elara its okay we're good. please dont worry. oh and Mom says you can still come. You'll have to share with Ginny and Hermione though. sorry we're a busy house at the moment. but seriously don't worry. None of us got hurt. A bit shaken up but we're fine. Dads been thrown into it at work though sorting it all. I've never seen him look so tired. and mums been really nice to us since we got back. Gotta say I dont know what's more annoying. The way she keeps fussing like we're about to drop dead any minute. I think I preferred her nagging. it wont last long. All it'd take is one glimpse of a joke wand or ton tongue toffee and she'll be back to her normal screaming self. Speaking of which, you wait till I show you what we've done. Think instant. projectile. vomit! genius huh? Anyway I'll see you really soon. Love your favourite red headed knight in shining armour.'

She rolled her eyes. George was many things but a knight in shining armour was pushing it.

Collapsing back onto her bed Elara felt the tension seeping off her shoulders. Ever since the news had broken the previous day about the attack at the quidditch world cup she'd been going out of her mind with worry. No matter how many times she tried she hadn't heard a thing let alone any news on the Weasleys. Until now. She closed her eyes and pushed away the dreadful images that'd been swirling in her mind. Each scenario more terrible than the last. Its okay. They're okay. You'll see them really soon. With that final reassuring thought she sat up and made her way downstairs.

The house was silent, which was to be expected. Her parents were working so she was home alone again. She didn't mind. After all these years she was used to it. Used to the last minute I've got to gos and sorry I'm going to be home lates. They weren't to blame, such was the nature of their jobs. Elara looked around the spacious hallway. The mid afternoon sun shone through the glass door at the end of the hall and lit up the stairwell. Its beams reflecting off the crystals of the chandelier. Her parents had worked hard to pay for all this and they did it all for her. She knew better than to be ungrateful for a few lonely evenings here and there. She glanced across at the clock. 4:30. She was unsure when to expect her mother but Elara knew her dad wouldn't be home anytime soon. She looked at the letter again still clutched tightly in her hands. It was no surprise Mr Weasley had been called in. From what her father had told her the ministry was trying to get every available person in to figure out who was responsible for the disaster at the world cup. As an experienced member of the department of international magical cooperation; Hamlin Ware had been one of the first called on the scene and he hadn't been home since. This told Elara one thing. The ministry of magic didn't have a clue who was behind it or why they attacked.

4:40. It hadn't occurred to her that she'd been stood on the second to last step for 10 whole minutes lost in thought. "get a grip" she muttered to herself under her breathe as she walked towards the kitchen. She was staring at the cupboards trying to decide if she was hungry enough to start cooking dinner when the phone rang.

"Hey honey. how are you doing?" Her mother sounded exhausted on the end of the line.

"yeah I'm good. I've finally heard from George. He's okay. they're all okay."

"well thank heavens for that!" she said. Elara heard her mothers exhale of relief. "yeah I know. He said I'm still okay to stay there for the last few days of the holidays"

"see? we said he'd be alright didn't we? oh and I really don't want to impose on their family, especially after this, but... oh thank the lord for Molly Weasley. Yes. If shes truly okay with that then great. It'd be a massive help. Look I'm sorry my lovely but Adrian's sons not well again. poor lad. hes had to take extended leave to look after him. I mean, why the mother can't look after her own boy now and again is beyond me but, hey, that's none of my business i suppose. And Veronica's being her usual, I'm too important to do any work, self. Oh you should have seen her earlier. 'oh look at me in my brand new Porsche'. its orange! and not a nice orange like a sunset or something. no, like fake tan gone wrong, that's what it looks like. Uh. Anyway. Breathe Mary-Anne. The point is I'm the only other translator in the office that speaks fluent enough Polish for the conference next week. I'm sorry darling that's 2 weeks in London"

Elara could feel her mothers guilt almost radiating through the speaker.

"it's okay mum. really I understand. i dont mind. I'll go to the Weasleys and they can take me to kings cross itll be fine."

"oh my girl what did I do to deserve you?"

"hmm, not sure. but it must've been good. maybe you saved a village from plague in a past life"

Her mother chuckled. Then she grew silent. After a moment she said

"I'm probably going to be late tonight too"

there was no hiding the hint of sadness in her voice.

"I know" Elara said "it's okay. theres some leftovers hiding in this kitchen somewhere and they've got my name on them."

"Larie"

"Mum. stop. it's fine. look I'm going to have some food. have a shower. then have an early night. honestly you're not missing out on much. I'll see you tomorrow. okay?"

"okay. oh Larie I love you. more than anything in this world.

"love you too mum"

"oh and remember to check the doors locked properly and..."

"and check the security systems running. I know mum I've got it"

"you checked your trunk? you're starting your newts this year. Can't be leaving anything important behind."

"yes I've checked it. I've got everything packed dont worry."

Her mother sighed. "okay. see you later."

"bye"

Elara couldn't help but roll her eyes everytime. but still she compulsively checked the front and back door locks and the flashing screen of the home security system. Online. She knew it would be. But from a young age her mum instilled this pattern. "you must be safe Elara." she'd said. "always be safe" The overprotective persistence of her mother used to annoy her as a child. But now Elara found comfort in the metaphorical safety net her mother cast for her. It let her know that she was loved.

Making her way back to the kitchen she pushed the days worries from her mind. It looked like another evening of peaceful me time she thought. and she was going to see George soon. She smiled to herself. She had missed that cheeky grin.