#and any average person would just be like. harry potters dad?? who we barely know anything about?

[swirlingyouintomypoems]

Girls when the character is a dead himbo with a wife and child

[cursestothemoon]

hellooooo<3 so, ive always loved the idea of Harry having an older protective sister(he really need one😭) could u pls do a headcanon of how she protects harry and their relationship? annnnddd how she also is dating Fred?? my heart needs it, pls and thank u❤️

i LOVE THIS 

(also i switch from third person pov to second person in the middle of this so im sorry :) but its fine ) 

ok 

i know a common headcanon/ fancanon for harry’s sister is that she looks like lily 

but hear me out 

Y/n Potter who looks exactly like James 

i mean to the T

and Lily would always make little teasing comments about how both her kids look like their dad and james is just :)

anyway

just picture it 

dark brown, wavy hair that was just tussled enough at all times

blue eyes

and the round rimmed glasses that James used to wear

stOP SHE WEARS HER DADS GLASSES BECAUSE WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE SHE’D PULL THEM OFF OF HIM AND AFTER HE DID SHE KEPT THEM AND WHEN SHE MISSES HIM SHE WEARS THEM AND THEY ARE SLIGHTLY TOO BIG AND SIT CROOKED ON HER FACE 

i made myself cry

anyway

lets talk protecting harry first then we will get into dating fred 

so she’s older meaning she’d be in Hogwarts for before him

let’s say she's two years older

George and Fred’s year

and she’d hear the whispers about her 

obviously

and i think she wouldn't tell harry

she would know the story of how their parents died and who harry was to the wizarding community but in an effort to protect Harry’s innocence and childhood for just a little while longer she wouldn’t tell him

at least not until he got to school then she’d be the one to tell him everything 

she is fiercely protective of Harry 

if someone so much as looked at him funny she was chewing their head off 

Harry might’ve been like James 

but Y/n Potter is James 

down to the way her eyes would narrow at someone in class when they made a rude comment 

or she’d try to charm her way out of trouble 

or charm Harry out of trouble

oH MY GOD SHE’D BE IN MCGONAGALL’S CLASS AND ONE OF HER FRIENDS WOULD SAY SOMETHING FUNNY AND SHE’D BE TRYING SO HARD TO HOLD IN HER LAUGH AND SHE’D MAKE THE SAME FACE JAMES WOULD MAKE WHEN TRYING NOT TO LAUGH

Mcgonagall almost cried 

she needed a moment 

ok Y/n would take the first week or so just to show Harry around Hogwarts 

she did not care if she was late

Harry was going to feel comfortable 

oH SHE NEARLY BEAT OLIVER WOOD WITH A BEATER’S BAT WHEN SHE FOUND OUT HE PUT HER TEENY LITTLE BROTHER ON THE QUIDDITCH TEAM AS A SEEKER

she is also part of the team, a chaser

will get spend most of the first few games with Harry making sure he’s ok

yeah malfoy doesn’t stand a chance

never did

10/10 would use the cloak to prank him

all the time

nothing is out of limits 

especially after he’s been nasty to Harry and his friends

growing up harry gets all embarrassed when she protects him because hes 15!1!1! he can handle it 

she is kinda hurt 

very dramatic 

“mY WITTLE BROTHER DOESN’T NEED ME”

“y/n... please”

“nO ITS OK HARRY I GET IT, ILL GO”

“where are you going?”

“YOU DON’T NEED ME ANYMORE, I AM NO LONGER NEEDED HERE”

“you don't HAVE TO LEAVE, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS”

Ron was giggling on the couch in the common room he thought this whole scene was hilarious 

ron thinks she is so cool

ok i think she’d also have these little bits of lily that would shine through

unlike harry and james, who could just inhale near a book and get just above average grades

she took pride in studying and being able to sit down and absorb material 

Lily always passed with flying colors because she was a good student who wanted to prove herself 

it was the satisfaction of spending hours studying and being able to retain the information and apply it to earn an amazing grade that she loved

she passed this on to you

as well as her kindness to people who she believed deserved it

and quick wit

you two also had the same hands 

you had everything else from James but your hands looked like your mothers

down to the way your nails grew and fingers held a quill

snape hated it

because he really couldn’t hate you

he was weird around you though

hes just weird

where he'd bully and embarrass Harry 

he couldn’t do that to you because you wouldn’t give him the chance to

you knew the material

you knew the answer 

and he hated how when your hand shot up it looked just like Lily’s 

but you were making the stupid face James would when he’d concentrate 

you did not like snape

at first you were impartial 

then when you heard how rude he was to Harry...

it was also over for him

he didn’t stand a chance 

you had an affinity for pranks, fiercely protective, and you had gall 

your hand writing also looked like Lilys and snape had a rough time grading your essays

tough for him 

:)

also if any rumors went around about harry you were quick to make them actually about you

harry is the heir of slytherin?

actually no Y/n Potter is, there is no evidence but we just heard that it was her somewhere 

you didn’t care as long as no one was being rude to Harry

leTS TALK DEATHLY HALLOWS

so you don’t go with them on the hunt for Horcrux 

and you’d be going insane not knowing how they were or if they were ok

because all your life you had been able to protect to some extent 

but you were completely helpless now

you could do nothing

and then at the battle of hogwarts 

pLEASE

no one stood a chance

the feeling of seeing harry again

beaten, bruised, but still alive 

it was overwhelming

then seeing Hagrid crying in his seemingly dead body

also overwhelming

because you had failed 

you couldn't protect him 

and he heard you scream first 

it was loud and strangled and Harry felt so bad but he knew he had to do this 

I like to think Y/n Potter is the one who killed Voldemort in the end 

you cant argue with me on this sorry

ok

now

lets talk

dating freddie

so he’d probably notice you here and there starting in first year

but he was an eleven year old boy and girls were not on his radar right now

but he thought you were funny and pretty cool 

and your round glasses that were just a little too big for your adolescent face made you look cute 

then you tried out for the quidditch team with him and George 

you were amazing 

not only did you have James natural talent for the sport but that paired with Lily’s tactical thinking and quick mind

you were unstoppable 

you were brought on the team as a seeker 

and you were good at it too, but it wasn’t you’re favorite position

it entailed a lot of waiting and not really moving until you caught sight of the snitch

it was your excellent flying mixed with the fact that you literally had no sense of self preservation that made you a really good seeker

you'd just

nose dive 

if you hit the bottom you hit the bottom oh well 

but when Harry showed up you were happy to give him your position as seeker and take on the more exciting (at least to you) job of chaser

it was your quidditch playing that really got fred’s attention

because you were good 

and during team lunches or team hang outs you were always the life of the party

not because you were avidly trying to be 

but like james, people jus gravitated to your goofiness and happiness 

it was about the middle of fifth year fred realized he had a crush on you

and little man was panicked 

you had noticed fred before that

obviously 

but he was always just the funny guy on the team 

but as everyone knows the potter’s have a thing for gingers 

and it was when they came to pick you and Harry up from the Dursley's just before the quidditch world cup that you saw how attractive he really was 

please its james and lily all over again

kinda 

you become the funniest person in the room when he’s around

always smiley

lilypad?

no.

freddie bug

aH STOP PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE

YOU’D JUST STARE AT HIM WITH A STUPID SMILE 

it would get to the point you'd be just blatantly flirting 

and fred bluSHES

BECAUSE HE ISN’T USED TO BEING THE ONE ON THE RECEIVING END OF SUCH CLEAR FLIRTING

usually he is the one to pick up girls

he has the charm

likes to make them blush

but yOU CAN JUST LOOK AT HIM WITH A STUPID SMILE AND HES BE ALL GIDDY 

he could barely get a compliment in between your flirting

“Morning Freddie bug, looking cute as always.”

George thinks it both hilarious and disgusting

ron just thinks its disgusting 

but fred is ultimately the one to make the first move to be more than just friends who flirt when the yule ball comes around

he asks you

“Potter! Potter!”

“yes?”

“You, me, Yule ball....”

and as he’s pantomiming it (ya know like in the movie) he also pantomimes a very heavy make out session then what you could assume would be kisses all over your face

it was now your turn to blush as you agreed to go with him

you guys started dating after that :)

pLEASE ONCE HARRY GOT WITH GINNY AND HE SAW A PICTURE OF YOUR PARENTS 

YOUR MOM BEING A RED HEAD AND YOU AND HARRY LOOKING JUST LIKE YOUR DAD

HE WOULD NOT STOP THE JOKES

“i see why you’re with me. it’s my hair isnt it?”

“what? no its no-”

“you probably wouldn’t even look my way if i didn’t have red hair. you potters are unbelievable.”

“you are such a dummy”

“oH AM I? BUT YOU KEEP ME AROUND BECAUSE OF THE HAIR. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN IT WASN’T MY SPARKLING PERSONALITY THAT YOU LOVE.”

taglist:

@amourtentiaa

@siriusement

[avengersassemble-fics]

Leave Out All The Rest

part 01/?? “the french quarter”

next part

summary: in the summer of 1994, four years after the death of their father, a teenage witch is pulled from their roots in new orleans and moved back to their mother’s home in westminster. out of place and being pulled in two different directions, the teen is faced with a new life at hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. people fear what they don’t know, a lesson their father tried to shield them from their whole life, but maybe friends will make it easier.

word count 3.3k

an: efngojkf;enb; a harry potter fic i never saw myself falling back down this hole but here we are. don’t want to label this a certain pairing and ruin the story so y’all gotta bear with me :) also this takes inspiration from tvd/to in terms of the magic showcased, and the history of new orleans. as an la resident it’s always been fascinating and i’ve always wanted to incorporate that in some way. the only oc characters are the mother/father names. also title is inspired by leave out all the rest by linkin park.

The streets are lined with lights, fluorescent and bright to indicate the exciting environment. The jazz that radiated from the four person band making their way down the street carried up into the businesses and homes that resided in the French Quarter. The sunshine from the outside world that warmed the bodies underneath didn’t make it into the apartment off of Chartres St. Inside the red bricked building and in apartment 2D in 1990, the ever growing shouts from one adult to another could be heard from even down in the streets.

It was like any other day in the observant eleven year olds life. Focused on packing things into the expensive trunk her mother had bought for her, she did her best to tune out the shouting. She ran her fingers over the blue and cranberry robes, lost in thought of what this new school would be like when she heard the sound of a slammed door followed by footsteps. She knew who it would be, and closed the trunk and latched it before they could even get the door open.

“Are you all packed?” They had asked in a calm and comforting tone.

She nodded her head, pushing the trunk out of the way before standing to scratch the head of the black and tawny screech owl resting near the window. It lowered its head further into itself in satisfaction, when a hand grazed her shoulder. The child stopped, eyes looking up to look out into the street, and subsequently to see her mother disappear just around the corner into oblivion.

“She just needs some time to cool down,” her father told her. His daughter nodded, but he knew it was just an automatic response. He guided her to the ledged seat and she sat next to him while he grabbed her smaller hand in his.

“She doesn’t want me to go,” his daughter said matter of factly. He inhaled a bit, and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Your mother thinks you should go to the school she went to when she was your age,” he carefully explained. She gave him a nod, though there was a second of hesitation before she spoke again.

“But they aren’t like me. They’re like mom.”

There it was, the acknowledgment that you knew more than he ever wanted you to know. Vincent Dupuis had done everything he could to protect his daughter from the fact that her mother didn’t know what to do with her besides send her off to that school in Scotland in the hopes she’d return as only half of herself. It wasn’t an malicious intent, not at all, but it was an attempt to take a part of you (his part of you) away. That seemed to be the root of all their fights as of late, but he didn’t want you to know that. Vincent reached over and pulled his daughter into his lap and rubbed his thumb over her cheek.

“Ilvermorny will be able to teach you not only what your mother knows, but what I know too. Safely,” he emphasized. “You’ll be the brightest witch this city has seen. I know it.”

She smiled at that, and he kissed her forehead. It was the last tender moment they’d share, though she didn’t know that before heading off to the boarding school in Massachusetts. It was the last memory she had of her father before his death a few months later.

Vincent Dupuis was celebrated in a traditional New Orleans style. Though his family and his coven mourned him, the city celebrated his life (though the strangers lining the streets didn’t really know him). That was just how it was, and your mother said he would have appreciated that.

Vincent Dupuis was a part of a deeply rooted witch lineage in New Orleans, which now was a part of you. One of the original founding families of the witch covens in New Orleans to be exact. He often would remind you (and especially your mother) of that fact. You were a respected witch family, even if you were seen as different. Because of your mother.

Vincent was born and raised in the heart of the French Quarter. His parents still lived in the same house that smelled like cookies (your grandma would always have them ready when you’d stay the night when your parents would fight). It was a second home, and it was adorned with pictures of his family, and then yours. They moved and smiled, they held life in them. It was your favorite thing to see, though your grandparents didn’t see what you saw. They only saw the still motion. You wondered why that was, but eventually that thought trickled away when you found out why.

Althea Talpin (she opted to keep her maiden name) was a part of one of the most important bloodlines in the witch world. It was never tainted with muggle blood your maternal grandparents boasted about throughout your childhood. But when it came to her daughter, to you, they were colder than grandparents should be.

Althea was born and raised in Westminster. She was raised with the finest things, and was amongst one of the wealthiest families at this time. When she came of age, Althea was sent to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and continued her family's legacy by being sorted into the Slytherin house. Over the next seven years she excelled in everything from potions, charms, to defense against the dark arts. She wanted a change after her final year, and took to traveling the world.

She eventually travelled to The Big Easy, drawn to the French Quarter because of the festivities and thrill of it all. She had always been a thrill seeker, and she found that in a man named Vincent. They fell in love and within the year were married, and when you came around shortly after was when Vincent opened up about his own life and lineage.

Althea was fine with it, she hoped her daughter would be free of that kind of magic, and she could convince Vincent to move the family back to her home. After eight years away, she missed everything so dearly. But he always refused, he was afraid of what people would say or even do to their child. The witches knew about the murders, knew the name which shouldn’t be spoken, and he was fearful of what would become of his only child. That was when the resentment started, almost immediately after she had found her daughter bringing dead flowers back to life with the touch of her hand.

Four years have passed since that day, those final moments between father and daughter. The summer of 1994 was soon coming to an end, though the fifteen year old didn’t want it to. With summer ending there was an ever looming cloud of uncertainty over her head, especially with her mother's eccentric ideas for the weekend, and future.

Westminster was nothing like the French Quarter. It was gloomy and busy with people who dressed like they were on their way to business meetings. Looking out of the average townhouse (on the outside, of course the inside felt like it had grown two sizes) it was dreadful. Your mother shouted from downstairs, and with a final sigh you scratched your owls head.

“We’ll be back soon, Arro,” you told the black and tawny feathered bird. “Don’t bother the house elves too much.”

Arro chirped at you, and you stood and grabbed the jacket off your bed. You bounced down the stairs and moved around the cleaning house elves. It was still odd to you to have these creatures in your house. You had always done the chores around the apartment in New Orleans, but your mother said you didn’t have to do that now. It didn’t sit right in your chest, but your mother was hard headed.

You missed your dad.

Your mother was transfixed on her hands, elegant and long, she barely looked up at you as you shoved your arms through your flannel. She was dressed like what you would think witches dressed like. Black jumpsuit that was sitting just below her shoulders, but also joined with a hood less black cape that just passed her elbows. Like you said, elegant and long, and daring as usual. She was like a new woman, back in her own world. Whereas you were more simple, you could even say more dressed to the times.

You had opted for a black overall and white shirt under it, basic shoes, and a loose flannel jacket. If you were honest you had seen a character from Friends wear it and you loved the look. You felt comfortable, but that faded the minute your mother looked you over.

“Did you not like the outfit I had picked?” She asked.

Right. The black stockings, black dress that looked too stuffy and had a weird collar that looked like you were a doll. No thanks. You could only offer a shrug and could see her eyes roll.

“This is more me.”

Partially true. You were at an age you didn’t know who you were really. Two halves of two different worlds ate away inside of you, but that was a topic for another day. She huffed in defeat and messed with the cape on her one more time. “Well that’s fine. Our stuff is already there, and as it is we’re late.”

She offered her hand to you, and you grimaced. “Oh no, please not this again.”

“It’s the fastest form of travel! You’ll need to get used to it.”

“It makes me feel sick,” you mumbled. She wiggled her fingers at you and you sighed. Taking her hand in yours, she led the way. You walked side by side down the hall on the first floor, and in a second were in a new location. Apparating still left your stomach in a twist, it may be effective but certainly not your favorite form of travel.

Night was falling quickly, and at the same pace as inside the house, you walked side by side, hand in hand, amongst others. The same air snapping sound rippled around you as others Apparated and approached the stadium.

The Quidditch World Cup was something your mother had been looking forward to for weeks. After receiving a personal invitation from the Minister of Magic, she insisted they both attend. With each flight of stairs upwards her stomach flipped more and more than when they Apparated. The large crowd trying to reach their respective seats was hard to navigate through, you even knocked into a boy around your age, but could barely mumble an apology as your mother kept pulling you in different directions.

Finally, the loud yells were hushed when a curtain was peeled back and they entered their destination. The private booth was full of others dressed almost like your mother. Eccentric. She detached her hand from yours as she approached a man, and you followed behind like a lost puppy. You were uncomfortable in this unknown place, with these unknown faces, and messed with the sleeves of your flannel. Your mother seemed to smile hugely, which was a rare occurrence to see, when the shorter and stout man met her eye.

“Althea,” he breathed. She laughed as he engulfed her hand with his large ones. “My it’s been so long.”

“It has Cornelius,” your mother replied. “You don’t look any different.”

He laughed and tapped her hand still in his. “Either you’re lying or you’ve been gone too long.”

“Too long,” she confirmed with a smile. The man called Cornelius looked behind him and called another unfamiliar name and a woman came over. After more laughs and smiles and embraces, your mother wandered over to what appeared to be a father and son duo. “I see you’ve grown your hair out Lucius.”

The taller man turned around, and without even a flicker down to you, his cold face erupted in it’s own smile. It felt uncomfortable to see, like it wasn’t genuine, but either way your mother embraced him

“Is this Draco?” She asked after a few moments. The man placed his ringed hand on his son's shoulder and looked to give it a good squeeze. Your eyes met the look of the young boy, while his father spoke.

“The one and only,” Lucius answered. That’s when his eyes looked down on you, and settled into something you couldn’t quite place. “And who is this?”

Ouch. So she knew of his son but he didn’t know of her daughter? You felt a pang of insult form at the back of your mind, but your mother stepped behind you and gripped onto your shoulders. It was as if she was offering reassurance. “This is my daughter. (Y/N).”

Lucius let out a humph, not disassociated but not satisfied either. His cold eyes went back to your mother and with instruction told his son, Draco, to not be rude as the parents stole one another away. You awkwardly stood before Draco, who overlooked you in some kind of judgement.

“My father never mentioned your mother had a daughter,” he finally said to break the silence. All you could do was shrug.

“My mother never mentioned either of you existed,” you said back. Draco’s brow lifted a bit, intrigued it seemed.

“You’re American,” he said.

“Guilty as charged,” you replied. Draco grinned a bit, before glancing around the room. His eyes hesitated for a moment, and you looked over to where his gaze paused. Another boy, older with dirty blonde hair and a nice smile, stood beside a man. Draco seemed to turn you away quickly and out towards the Quidditch field.

“So you’ll be coming to Hogwarts then?” He asked. Your hands reached out to hold onto the railing as you reached your body past to get a good look around.

“Against my own free will,” you joked. Draco huffed, laced behind another grin. “You’ll be the first person I know.”

Draco saw his opportunity, his eyes catching the far away look of the bunch he had just seen while travelling up here. His hands clutched the railing as well and motioned with his head across the field. “More than happy to give you the inside scoop, from one Slytherin to another.”

Hm, made sense. Your mother had explained her house background, and he seemed to fit the description to a T. You fought the urge to roll your eyes, but Draco pulled something from the side. It was like a magnifier, and he positioned it before you both, on a group of people. You glanced his way in confusion, but he began to explain his antics.

“See those red headed freaks? Those are the Weasleys. They’re pureblood like our families, but the father is fascinated with muggles. Their mother makes their clothes, and they share hand-me-downs. The twins are in Fifth year, the other one Ron is in our year, and the girl is below us. Awful family.

“Then next to them is Harry Potter,” Draco spat his name out. You raised a brow at the recognition of the name. You had heard of the Potters, though it was only small information. “He thinks he’s the bloody center of the world. Can’t believe he’s the Chosen One.

“That girl with the bushy hair is Hermione Granger,” he scoffed. “Thinks she’s so witty, but she’s nothing more than a mudblood.”

Can blood freeze? You shifted your weight a bit when the warm air seemed to hit you straight on. The Minister announced the start of the match (maybe, you weren’t too sure) but you looked over at the platinum blonde and inhaled a bit too sharply.

“Mudblood?” You repeated. Draco glanced your way before looking back to the field.

“Right, you probably don’t know the term. She’s of non-witch blood, bloody pathetic, not even half witch. Don’t know how she got into this school. It’s gone down the drain if you ask me.”

“I didn’t,” you stated. Draco looked over at you as if he wanted to rebut your statement, but a hand dropped down on your shoulder. You looked behind you and sighed a bit, the tension leaving your body though your fist were still tight in a ball you didn’t realize had formed. Draco’s expression fell, and your mother gave you a squeeze.

“You two doing alright?”

“Peachy,” you mumbled. Her thumb rubbed the back of your shoulder, before turning you to face her, and small tsk’s leaving her lips.

“Sweetie why don’t you go back down and get some fresh air?” She offered. You glanced back over to Draco, who looked uncomfortable in this moment, and nodded a bit. It was too pretentious in here anyway.

All the way back down, bumping past bodies you wouldn’t remember as more time passed, you felt the frustration reaching a boil. Finally as you pushed past the final set of bodies you breathed in the empty air.

You weren’t dumb, you liked to believe you were far from it. In ways your parents had tried to warn you about how people could be once they learned of your true lineage. You knew people could be cruel, that’s why being here, being brought to the world your mother had lived in, was so.. Wrong. You could only imagine the possibility it could get worse, the names they would call you.

No one deserved that.

Your frustration toppled over in a gust of wind that blew pieces of trash away from where you stood, blew the flaps on surroundings tents, but the release felt better than holding it in. In deep breathes you attempted to calm your mind, uncurling your fists and easing yourself into some foldable seats left out. You were sure the owners wouldn’t mind.

There were chants and hollers coming from the stadium, but they sounded far away. Your mind was drifting back to the thought of home, where you should be right now, and didn’t hear the crunch of grass as someone approached. “Mind if I join you?”

You averted your attention to the voice, met with the welcoming look of the other boy inside that pristine booth. You glanced at the chair beside you and nodded. “Sure.”

He smiled a bit, the one you recounted as being nice, and took the seat next to you. Your knees touched ever so slightly, and he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his legs, glancing up at the twirling lights in the sky. There was an awkward silence, one you didn’t know how to break or if you even should. Thankfully, he seemed to know how. “I couldn’t help but overhear what Draco was saying.”

You looked over at him, but his gaze still lingered up in the sky. It was an invitation to talk about it, and you couldn’t help but accept it. You rubbed your hands together and stole a glance at the ground. “I just can’t believe he uses a term like that so vilely.”

“Unfortunately there’s been a lot of prejudice circulating around recently,” he trailed off. You looked up to meet his gaze, and he offered a smile. “But don’t let Malfoy get to you.”

You wanted to scoff, but your throat couldn’t produce the sound. Instead you simply nodded, only to catch the slight lean in from your company. “Are you coming to Hogwarts this year?”

“It.. Looks that way yeah,” you answered sheepishly. He smiled even wider and offered his hand out to you.

“I’m Cedric,” he introduced. You hesitated only for a moment before taking his hand in yours.

“(Y/N),” you replied with a shake of your hand. His hand was warm, and nearly engulfed your own. The moment only lasted for a few seconds before shouting from the match drew both your attention, and your hands from one another. The slight gust of wind brought a fresh scent that would stick in your mind for the rest of the night.

Worn leather, the fresh scent of laundry detergent, and a hint of butterscotch.

- - - - - - - - - -

taglist

@snarky--starky​

[jawritter]

Curves...

Requested by: @prettysourabbie​ 

Can I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader, where she really shy and dorky but believes that she really bad at sex because she is bigger? And dean shows her that she not 😊💕 I hope this makes sense haha! I know this sound awkward turtle 🐢

Word Count: 4036

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized!Reader

Warnings: Smut!, unprotected sex, insecure reader, self-hate, plus-sized reader, unrequited/requited love, angst, self-loathing, fluff.

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine! Please don’t copy my work! Feedback is golden! Hope you guys enjoy this one. 

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!

*****MASTERLIST*****

Sitting alone in the cold and mostly dark library of the bunker, you waited for the return of your two favorite boys. 

Sam and Dean Winchester. 

You’d been working as the researcher for the Winchesters, and well most other hunters in the area, for years.  

You were raised in the life, but you weren’t ever like your average hunter. You weren’t skinny, or athletic, with perfect aim, perfect stamina that it takes to chase down and kill all that shit that goes bump in the night. Much to your father’s dismay, you were always a little on the heavier side. 

It’s not like all you did was sit on your ass, and eat or something either, it’s just how you were built, you couldn’t control it, no matter how much you exercised, ran, ate all that healthy crap; it did no good. You always maintained the same weight. 

Which was… Well… Let’s face it… 

Not exactly the standards of The Next Top Model.

Your stomach wasn’t flat and perfect, your hips were on the wider side, your thighs thicker than your average girl. You weren’t exactly small chested. You were just naturally larger than your average person. Even though you barely tipped the scales at five feet tall.

Your dad said you’d never be good for anything if he couldn’t marry you off, because you were too heavy for “breeding,” which was common in hunting compounds like the one you grew up on, and you couldn’t hunt, then you were useless to him. 

He’d left you at a bar just outside of Seattle, Washington. That’s where you meet your rescuer, and honestly, your favorite of your two favorite boys. 

Dean.

He saw you sitting outside of the side of the bar crying because you didn’t know what you were going to do, he didn’t hesitate to take you in just like you were one of them when he’d heard your story, taking you to your new home, the bunker. 

Instead of discouraging your skills in research, he embraced it. 

Sam helped you get started in this overload of information that the men of letters had collected, your personal heaven honestly, and you’d been here ever since; doing what you could to help the boys behind a computer, a lore book, or a phone. 

You were happy here with your life, mostly anyway. It suited you, and Dean always made sure you wanted for nothing. He would always go out of his way to take care of you, no matter what you needed or wanted.

It didn’t take you long to fall for the overly gorgeous elder Winchester. 

His smile, his bright jade green eyes, that adorable shading of freckles that covered his skin, dusting even his nose, and checks; giving him almost a boyish look. His infectious laugh, his soft auburn hair, the way he cared more about others than he ever could himself.

You had learned to love everything about him, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Even though there were parts of his past that were darker than he’d ever let anyone know. Even though there were things that had happened to him, that had affected him to the uttermost part of his being. 

You loved him anyway. 

Past all flaws, and beyond all reason.

Of course, you never told Dean that. Hell no. You’d never tell Dean any of that. 

Dean liked girls that were supermodel types. 

Bleach blonde, toned bodies, too much makeup, and cheap perfume. Easy lays basically. 

You were none of that. 

You didn’t have the confidence that those girls had, so you just never even tried with Dean. The two of you had a good relationship going, and you just be happy with that, and not do anything like confess your feelings to mess it all up.

The loud opening and closing of the bunker door pulled you from your self-loathing. You hurriedly straightened your glasses, fixed your messy bun, and checked to make sure your led zeppelin t-shirt, that you had borrowed from Dean and yet to have returned, had no stains on it.

You’d been researching some stuff for Garth on a strange case he was working on, probably a Djinn from the looks of it, and hadn’t really gotten yourself together today. You were still in your favorite PJ pants and fuzzy slippers.

"Hey Y/n,” Sam greeted you as he flopped down in the chair across from you, taking his boots off. 

“Hey, where is Dean?” you asked him, listening for, but not hearing the elder Winchester anywhere.

“Dean, uh... Went out. Said he needed to blow off some steam. It was a pretty rough hunt for him... I’m sorry Y/n, I know you hate it when he  goes out and does this…” Sam said, letting his sentence trail off before finishing it.

You chew on your lower lip for a moment, nod your head, reopening your laptop, burying yourself in your work. 

You couldn’t look up at Sam, who you knew was staring at you with some pitiful look, and you didn’t want his pity. You knew your place, and Dean’s arms, even though you wanted to more than anything, would never be your place.

Sam was no idiot, he knew you had feelings for his brother. He just didn’t know what to say to make it better for you right now.

So he got to his feet, patted you on the shoulder, and then made his way to his room for the night. 

You worked through the tears streaming down your face when he was out of sight until your eyes burned too bad to keep working, and your head hurt from crying. So you made your way to your room, and crawled into the bed, the cold lonely bed, and fell into a restless sleep. Your heart beating like it was going to just give up and stop any minute. 

You laid there torturing yourself. Wondering what she looked like? Would she hold him when it was over? Would she be enough to comfort him the way he deserved? Would she play with his hair while he sleeps like you want to do? Would she realize how lucky she was to be in his arms? Cause some people, like yourself, would never get that chance.

—————————–

The next morning you made your way into the kitchen. Your head is still pounding, and your eyes are still red. 

You were wondering if Dean had made it home yet, but you didn’t have to wonder very long. 

As soon as you rounded the corner there he was, probably still in last night’s clothes, pouring a cup of coffee.

For a moment you faltered by the door, and started to just turn around, and go back to your room. 

You didn’t know if you could face him right now, you knew you looked like a whole mess. Last night was harder on you with him going out than it was ever. Maybe it was because it had been so long since you’d seen him. Maybe it was because he had texted you the day before he headed back to Kansas, and promised a movie night when he got home. He must have needed to get laid more than he needed his friend.

You turned around to head back towards your room, but Dean had heard you. His hunter reflexes are faster than your feet. 

Damn him.

“Hey, sweetheart! Want me to pour you a cup of coffee?” Dean said, looking at you over his shoulder, that smile that could stop your heart on his perfect pink lips, lips that some other woman was kissing last night. The signs of that visible with the deep purple hickey that was poking out just under the collar of his shirt.

You just nod, not trusting your voice. 

Dean poured you a cup of coffee and fixed it the way you liked. You wondered how he knew that. You didn’t remember ever telling him how you liked your coffee, he just always seemed to know. 

You made your way over to the table in the corner of the room, and Dean brought your cup of coffee and set it down in front of you.

“So, I was thinking tonight we would lock ourselves in the Dean cave, and do that Harry Potter marathon you’ve been talking about. I’ll order some pizzas and…Y/n, what’s wrong? Have you been crying?”

You cursed yourself for being so damn obvious this morning. You just shrug your shoulders, refusing to meet his gaze. 

“Did some asshole hurt you? Tell me his name! I’ll kick his ass!" 

You had to hold back a snicker at that because the mental image your mind painted of Dean kicking his own ass was quite amusing. 

"No one’s hurt me, Dean, I’m fine,” you tell him, making to get up with your coffee cup, and just head back to your room. 

“Bullshit Y/N, I’ve known you for years, we’re best friends. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

He looked at you pleadingly, and you sighed deeply before looking down at your coffee cup.

“I just let myself get all in my head last night. I’m fine now. I’m just tired. I think I’m going to go and lay down for a little bit. We’ll do whatever you said you wanted to do tonight,” you said as Sam walked past you, giving you an apologetic look. 

Sam was the kind of person who was not going to get in the middle of it, so he just continued to make his way to the refrigerator after his morning run.

“Are you sure you’re okay? ‘Cause you don’t look okay, Sweetheart. Maybe I could just come keep you company, and cuddle with you like we used to while you rest, or until you feel better.” 

Dean made his way over to you while he was taking, and wrapped his arms around you.

As soon as he did you jerked back from him. He looked down at you confused and hurt, but he smelt like her perfume and it made your stomach lurch, bile rose in your throat at the thought of how it got there.

“No offense Dean, but you need a shower,” you said coldly and turned walking back to your room, leaving a very confused and hurt looking Dean, and a somewhat amused Sam. 

Probably because he thought Dean deserved that. 

You wanted nothing more than to cuddle with Dean, but you didn’t know if it wouldn’t totally rip your heart out, especially with him smelling so much like her. 

—————————————–

After about two hours of you crying yourself to the point, you weren’t able to cry anymore in the darkness of your room, hating your weight, hating that you weren’t good enough, hating the fact that you had to wear glasses all the time, hating the fact that you were a nerd, and always were a nerd. Your stomach grumbled, reminding you that you had skipped breakfast this morning, but you didn’t want to run into the boys again, so you had just resolved to lay there when you hear your door open, and close softly.

You could smell Dean’s body wash as he made his way quietly as possible over to the side of your bed. Your back was to him, and the door, cover pulled high up to your chin, your hair pretty much blocking your face from his view.

“Y/N, are you asleep?” Dean whispered. 

You didn’t move, you didn’t say anything, you didn’t really have time to before Dean pulled the cover back, and you felt the bed dip under his weight. Your heart rate jumped up through the roof as his scent surrounded you, and he pulled the covers back over himself and you.

“I showered…I… I don't smell like her anymore… I made Sam check to make sure,” he said, moving his way over closer to you in a spooning position, wrapping his arm around you gently, and pulling himself closer to you.

Your heart was beating so hard now you were sure he could feel it through your ribs, even with all your “extra padding” as you called it. 

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you say something to me before? I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t know. I would have much rather come home to you than run to some whore that literally meant nothing to me." 

You made a mental note to kill Sam.

"Sam told you didn’t he,” you almost whispered, your stomach was in a knot at this point. What the fuck was he trying to tell you? You couldn’t do for him what he needed.

“Yeah, but in his defense, you left me standing there torn between hunting down whatever random dude that had hurt you that you weren’t telling me about, and trying to scrap my pride up off the floor,” Dean said. 

It took all you had not to flinch at that. You shouldn't have snapped at Dean, but you couldn’t stand the smell of her either. 

“I’m sorry Dean, I shouldn’t have taken my feelings out on you. You have every right to have sex with whoever you want. She could probably do more for you than I ever could. I know you are not attracted to me. I’m not blind. You don’t have to come in here, and say all those things just to make me feel better,” you said, refusing to turn around and look at him. 

You felt Dean sit up, and for a moment you thought he was going to get up and leave, shattering your heart even further. 

Instead of getting up and leaving, Dean rolled you over to your back with more ease than you thought would have been possible, and straddle your hips with his thighs. Bracing his weight off of you with his hands on either side of your head. You stared into his piercing eyes for a moment in shock. He looked cross between hurt and angry.

“Let me tell you a little something about that whore that you said could do so much better than you for me. Yeah, I fucked her, I’m not even gonna try and deny it, but after she was done I got up and got dressed to go jerked myself off in the car because some whore isn’t gonna get all of me Sweetheart believe that. I’d give my damn right arm to have you, what the fuck do you mean I’m not attracted to you? Every time we’re watching TV together I’m fighting to hide my boner because I didn’t want to freak you out. I wouldn’t be in here with you right now if I didn’t want to be. Why the hell do you think so low of yourself?” 

Dean was still hovering over you, so many emotions on his face that it was impossible to read them all.

“Dean, I’m fat. I’m no good at sex. I couldn’t get you off if I tried to. You still would have ended up having to go and finish yourself off. Very few men want to touch this, very few ever have.” 

You tried to avoid his gaze out of your own shame. Hating yourself at that moment more than ever.

“What? Fat? Baby girl, you are NOT fat. You're gorgeous,” Dean said as he reached and grabbed your wrist, bringing your hand down to his crotch, and resting it over the impressive bulge that had formed his sweats. 

You did vaguely register that he’d skipped the underwear. 

He felt huge, and you couldn’t stop your eyes widening. 

You always figured that Dean was packing, but damn.

“Does that feel like someone who isn’t attracted to you? Baby, I can’t tell you the nights I’ve thought about you just to get off. About kissing every curve, every inch of skin,” his hands let go of your wrist as he trailed them down your sides, and over your up to your breast, causing your breath to hitch in your throat at his light touch.

“Dean,” you said cautiously, his hand slipping under your shirt, fingers trailing lightly over your stomach, the part of your body that you hated the most. 

“Let me show you just how beautiful you are, Sweetheart,” he said, his voice husky and deep. His tongue running slowly over his lower lip as his eyes roamed your body. “Let me show you just how much I’ve always wanted you since the night I met you.”

You laid there underneath him completely dumbfounded for a moment. Finally, all you could do was shake your head yes. 

If you were dumb enough to turn him down now, you would lose him, and your heart couldn’t handle it, it would crush you. So here you were, going to take a chance, and do what you so desperately wanted to do for so long. 

Let Dean love you. 

Dean didn’t hesitate, reaching down grabbing your shirt and pulling it off and over your head, throwing it to the floor. His eyes rack over your body, looking down at your bare chest, you immediately try to cover up, regretting not putting a bra on this morning.

“No, no, pretty girl, don’t hide from me,” Dean said, bending down, and capturing your lips in his with a sweet kiss, slowly kissing away some of the worries, and insecurity. 

Moving his hands down your body he pulled the waistband of your PJs and underwear down your body in one pull, leaving you completely exposed before him. Keeping your mouth busy as his tongue invaded your mouth, kissing you drunk, exploring every inch of your mouth like he’d never get to do it again. 

When he finally had to pull up for air you noticed that his sweats were gone. His thick length standing proudly against his shirt, and slapping his stomach as he pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor.

You didn’t have time to get nervous before his mouth was on you again, kissing you deeply, needier than the first time. 

Making his way from your mouth to your throat he sucked his mark onto your neck, one that you’d wear proudly, one you’ve wanted for so long. 

He continued kissing his way down your body, licking at each nipple before sucking them into his mouth, sending a sensation you’d never felt before jolting through your body. Your back arching to meet his hard chest. Little moans fell from your lips as his mouth continued the assault on your hard nipples. 

Satisfied with his work, he began to move down your stomach. Kissing and nipping at the skin there, worshiping your body like no one ever had, kissing your hips, your tights. 

That’s when it hit you where he was.

“Dean, don’t!” you said, right before his mouth made contact with your already dripping core. 

Dean stopped immediately, moving back up your body, placing his lips on yours in a sweet kiss, slower this time than before. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just not there yet. Not tonight,” you said as he pulled away to look at you, your embarrassment filling your checks.

“That’s okay Baby, we’ve got all the time in the world. If you want to stop we can stop,” he said, brushing your hair away from your face.

“I don’t want to stop, I’m just not ready for that specifically. It’s gonna take time,” you said, he nodded his head, kissing your neck and running his tongue along the shall of your ear. 

“That’s okay baby girl, I’m not going to stop loving you, and eventually, I’m going to make you forget all that insecurity you’ve got built up inside. Even if it takes years. I’m a patient man,” Dean said, slipping his fingers down your body, and finding your swollen clit with his thumb as he pushed two tick digits deep side of you, working you slowly, your hips rolling against his hand on their own as he curled his fingers inside of you, hitting that stop no one has been able to reach before. 

He didn’t stop playing your body like a well-tuned instrument until you were coming undone around him, and your walls squeezing his fingers as your orgasm ripped through your body, leaving you a panting shaking mess underneath him as he worked you through your high.

Peppering your face with little kisses he let you come down completely before lining himself up with you, sinking deep inside of you in one smooth thrust. Stretching you, filling you in every way. His thick tip is sitting against your cervix. You could almost feel him pulsing inside of you.

“Fuck, your so tight baby girl,” he husks in your ear, kissing your lips in a tender kiss before grabbing your hips, and rolling you over on top of him like you weighed nothing at all. A surprised squeak leaving your lips.

“Dean, no I’m going to hurt you,” you said, feeling silly, and embarrassed as you sat astraddle of his hips, his cock buried deep inside of you.

“You’re not going to hurt me, Baby. I want you to know just how capable you are of taking care of me, please,” he said, reaching up and kissing the skin of your stomach before grabbing your hips, and rocking your hips with his strong hands. 

All thought processes flew right out the window at that point. 

His tip moves over your most sensitive spots in the most amazing, almost overwhelming to the point of painful, but still pleasurable way, your clit dragging over his hilt with each drag of your hips. Soon you were rocking back and forth against him on our own without any assistance whatsoever. Your bodies molded together like they were meant to be.

Dean’s head was thrown back against the pillow, the veins in his neck visible, and his jaw tightly locked. 

He was beautiful. 

Completely lost in what your body was doing for him.

 Something you never knew was possible, never thought you would ever see, or experience first hand. Just something they wrote about in cheesy romance novels, and fanfiction.

Before long you right at the edge your body shaking on top of him. The sounds and noises that were falling from both of your lips were enough to make a porn star blush. Dean's grip on your hips was now strong enough that you were sure it would leave bruises. You didn’t care though. You let him hold onto you as he fucked himself up into you as you rode him, closer and closer to both of your ends. 

Dean cursed he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down close to him as he slammed himself up into you and stilled. Spilling himself deep inside of you. His seed coating your walls in warm streams, throwing you into your own end. Waves of pleasure rolling over you both as he slowly thrust into you, dragging out both of your highs.

When both of you had control of your bodies again, Dean rolled you both over to your side, his arms never leaving you. He peppered your face and neck with little opened mouth kisses as he slowly pulled out of your body, and you couldn’t help but whine a little at the loss of contact.

Dean’s lips found yours in a sweet, but searing kiss as his hands started to trace the curves of your body, while still holding onto you tightly. Not breaking the kiss until the need for oxygen became to grate.

“I love you y/n, I have since the moment I met, and I know I’m not much, and I don’t have anything to offer you, the life we live… It’s just not your white picket fence life, but all I have is yours if you will have me. You know how hard it is for me to admit my feelings, but sweetheart, I’ve never been more sure of anything in all of my life.”

A single tear that made its way down your cheek. One that Dean caught, and wiped away with the gentle movement of his thumb over your cheek. 

“I love you too, I’m yours, I always have been, always will be.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: 

@deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming​

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #364

“you wanna know what zeus said to narcissus?  /  ‘you’d better watch yourself’“

Do you change your type of music regularly? Nah. I've ben all about metal and rock since middle school. Would you want to visit Tokyo, Japan, someday? It's not actually on my bucket list or anything, but I'd do it. Do you curse like a sailor? Sailors are better than I am, aha... Do you hear trains pass by where you live? No. Ever been in a race? Haha, no. Last time you’ve eaten a taco? I hate tacos. Do you like horses? Sure do! Do you like Starburst? omg YES. What is your favourite wild animal? MEERKATS!!!!!! :') Do you like hamsters? They're very cute, but I've never met a nice one. Do you eat bananas? Yeah, I like bananas, but I'm VERY picky with how ripe it is. There's like, barely a two-day span where I'm willing to eat them. What is your favourite bookstore? I don't have one. What is your favorite fast food joint? Sonic. Do you sweat easily? Ugh, you haven't the slightest idea. As a side effect of one (or two?) of my prescriptions, I have I N S A N E hyperhidrosis. I can stand outside for a millisecond in like 70 degree weather and I'm already sweating. If you could move (and SERIOUSLY think about this) where would you move? All factors considered, being entirely realistic, the mountain-y region of western NC. Why would you go there? I want to stay in NC to at least not be a massive ways away from my family, and I loooove mountains. Plus, there's a lot of cool places on the other end of the state. Do you want to travel? Yes. I want to see so much more than this boring 'ole state. What was the last vaccination you got? For Covid. Have there ever been any forest or grass fires in your area? There have been wildfires towards the beach, I believe? Any time it happened we would always get the smoke all the way where we live. Are you Italian? Not to my knowledge. Do you own an acoustic guitar? No. What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? My physical health. When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation? Recently. Can you roll your own cigarettes? I've never smoked, so. Are you mentally strong? I think so. I hope so. Are you physically strong? I am like, comically weak. Are you heartbroken right now? No. Do you ever get complimented on your eyes? What color are they? It's happened, but it's definitely not a regular thing or whatever. They're grayish blue. What facial feature do you like the best on a person? I'd say I'm most attracted to pretty eyes. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever held? I helped hold a massive snake as a kid (I don't remember what it was), and I've also held a rose hair tarantula. I can't think of any truly strange animals by my opinion, really. Do you get extremely hyper when under the influence of sugar? No. Sugar seems to have zero effect on me, probably because I'm over-exposed to it thanks to soda... What about caffeine? Not at all, likely for the aforementioned reason. Have you ever tried any drugs? If so, did you regret it? Besides alcohol, no. I don't regret having drank as it was never a lot. Do you have any pregnant friends? A high school acquaintance is pregnant. I THINK she's the only one now? I swear I see a new pregnancy announcement on Facebook like every two days, and mind you I don't even have all that many "friends." That being said, I may definitely be forgetting someone. When ordering food, what do you usually get as a drink? Depending on whether they have Pepsi or Coke products, either Mountain Dew or Coke. When drawing something, do you try to be super precise or do you not care? I am so, so, SO obsessive over getting everything right, but things never come out as good as I want them to/imagine them. Have you actually read Twilight? I haven't. What about Harry Potter? Never read any of those, either. I started one in elementary school, but didn't get very far at all. Out of the two, which is better? I have like no interest in either, so. How often do you read books? It various. I go through like reading episodes, and then I don't read for months. Are you the jealous type? I'm not like, an insanely jealous person, but it's still the worst it's ever been at this point in my life. I hate it. Are you the type of person who gets jealous of people’s pasts? Nah, no reason to. Do you know anyone who faints at the sight of blood? Not blood, I think, but needles and drawing blood, yes. I know my dad's fainted at least once at the doctor, and Jason fainted when I was getting blood drawn at the ER. What colors are the eyes of your family members? Just about everyone has brown eyes but me, I think my maternal grandpa, and my brother. Are you related to anyone with red hair? Not to my knowledge. Were you a chubby baby? No, I was pretty average. What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? Social situations with strangers especially. Asking for things. Public speaking/presenting. What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? God, I remember there was this one night in particular where I stayed up SO late, but I don't remember the exact time. I think I actually cried because I was so stressed and tired. How many vegetarians do you know? In my personal life, I don't believe I know any, but I could be wrong. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? I never did, even though I was always tired. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Favorite episode of Spongebob? The pizza one, probably. Or the Hash Slinging Slasher episode. What bug frightens you most? Wasps, probably. Are your parents supportive of you? Yes. <3 How often do you take the train to go places? I've never been on a train. Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? No. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? Hm... I honestly don't remember. What’s something that used to really stress you out, but doesn’t anymore? Thunderstorms. Have you ever had famous neighbors? No. Pick your three favourite vegetables. Broccoli, green beans, and uh... I'm blanking... Habitually I wanna say "corn," but I know it's not technically a veggie, but starch. Have you ever broken a movie or game disc? I think I have? What is your favourite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. Can you rap freestyle? Or at least sing raps from songs? Ha, no. Have you ever shared a house with a significant other? Yeah. Do you scream at scary parts in a horror flick? No. I might jump a bit, but not always. What do you spend most of your time doing? Watching YouTube. Do you really care what’s going on in celebrities' lives? More like the YouTubers I watch. Have you ever broken a plate/bowl? Accidentally by dropping them. When was the last time you felt like you didn’t have a care in the world? I couldn't begin to guess. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Can you do a backwards london bridges? God no, I'd bust my back. What smiley do you use the most on the computer? (: maybe. Or :') Are any of your pets “overweight”? No, but why is "overweight" in quotations as if overweight pets aren't a real and serious issue? Has anyone ever bought you a ring? Yeah. On a scale 1-10, how funny are you? I honestly don't think I'm funny at all, so I'd put myself at a 1. Pretty recently though it was very surprising and flattering to have my dad and older sister point out that I'm "hilarious" with my wry sense of humor. I don't see it, but I mean, it was surely appreciated. What’s a song that is overplayed but you still like it anyway? I barely ever listen to the radio, yet I still know "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen is played a lot, but I could never get tired of it. Are you excited for Christmas? Christmastime is my favorite time of year nowadays, mainly because of how excited my niece and nephew always are, and we spend most of Christmas Day and usually Christmas Eve with them. I love the weather, the focus on togetherness, all that. What are you thankful for? Man, a lot. I try my best to never overlook all the truly amazing things I do have, like a loving and supportive family, a home, food and safe water, Internet haha, access to medical care (regardless of the complaints I have about American healthcare)... I've got a lot of bad going on in my life, but I've also got a great amount of good things, too. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on? Internet. What’s your favorite color combination? Maaan, don't do this. I really don't know. Probably two pastels, idk. Do you have any internet friends? I have more Internet friends than I do "real life" ones. What was the last song you listened to? "Deep Six" by Marilyn Manson earlier. How are you feeling right now? My arm is really sore from my second Covid shot, and I'm also having trouble breathing thanks to the dog (apparently, I'm allergic to whatever she is). I know it sounds bad, but I cannot wait 'til she's gone (from this house, no we're of course not euthanizing her). What color is the shirt you’re wearing? Burgundy. Do you play video games? Yeah, just not as much as I used to. Have you ever been to a club and had someone slip something into your drink? I've never been to a club period, and I don't plan on it. Do you know anyone who’s done ecstasy? Not to my knowledge, anyway. Are you on birth control? Yes, but only to regulate and soothe my menstrual cycle. My cramps were insufferable prior. Does your sibling have a significant other? All but my younger sister. Like she's in contact with who she calls "contenders," haha, but she isn't officially dating anyone. She's MEGA picky with who she dates. Have you ever cried at a real wedding? Yes, because it was very triggering to my PTSD. Any idea what you want for your next birthday? That's quiiite a whiles away, so I have plenty of time to think about that. I don't know if I'll be employed by then and thus able to buy some things myself, but I'll just say I won't be (because I'm I think rationally fearful that's where I'll still be). For Christmas I plan on just asking for a new terrarium for Venus plus better materials for it (like a proper temp gauge and hygrometer, etc.), and with that taken care of, then I might be interested in asking for a hognose for my bday, but idk. I'd want to ensure (s)he starts out with a perfect terrarium, and seeing as I want a hoggie morph, that's a lot of money in one go that idk if I'd be comfortable asking. So I'unno, maybe I'll go for a tattoo again. Wow, this was a lot of rambling for something so far off, pardon me haha. Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? My Nintendo DS Lite, actually. I can't find the darn charger for it, and I really need to so I can bring it to Ashley's again for the kids to play the Pokemon game I have that they love. Aubree especially is really into it, and she adores Pikachu and Eevee. :') Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? I don't even know what most award shows are for, if I'm being honest. I'm not really interested. What colour is your keyboard? Black, but each key glows red. Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No. Are you a fan of acrylic nails? Not for myself; I think they'd drive me insane. I do, however, think they look nice on others.

[lovetheangelshadow]

N’Pressions: Artemis Fowl Movie

Well it has certainly been a while since I have written a film review. So I watched Artemis Fowl last night. Admittedly it was not exactly a movie on my radar. It initially was until I saw the trailer and much like Mulan it felt off. I came across the books quite by accident years ago in Borders when the first four books were out in print. And I would eventually get the rest in hard copies as soon as it came out. Personally I enjoyed these books more than I liked Harry Potter and I dropped those after Goblet of Fire. Personally Artemis felt more like a character to me who had a much stronger arc than Harry did. I know people are going to argue with me on that point and its fine if you disagree with that-that is just how I feel about the situation.

Now the book has a very simple premise: Artemis Fowl is a 12 year old genius who is part of a criminal family known as the Fowls. His father Artemis Sr. disappeared during one of his business trips and Artemis has been using the Fowl funds and network to try and find him so they can keep the business going. But he is running out of money and needs a boost fast. His solution? Fairy gold. So after dealing information out of a drunken sprite-he kidnaps Holly Short and uses her for ransom. The rest of the book is the fairy squad trying to get Holly out of there and not pay the ransom and Artemis has several plans to halt their advances until they finally comply. In the end he gets the gold (or half of it) and the fairy’s leave. It’s basically Die Hard but for a younger audience and it gave everything you needed for a film. You didn’t have to go big scale and fate of the world stuff or conspiracy. That’s later books like Artic Incident and the Opal Deception. Artemis as a calculating genius who has traces of humanity, that gets built upon as the series goes by, but he is a master planner and manipulator and troller even when he’s pretty much a good guy by the seventh book. For crying out loud, he sacrifices himself but has a contingency plan to come back to life in the last book.

So I will be judging this on two fronts: as an adaptation and as a film on its own. Because sometimes the films can be poor adaptations such as How to Train Your Dragon or Howl’s Moving Castle but can be good films on their own. So how does this film start? Well certainly not in Saigon where Artemis is making a deal/blackmail with a drunken fairy to get a book that contains most of the information they need to set up this ransom and it is in the trailer! Like I expect this from trailers but that is one of the biggest character plots of the film because it shows his resourcefulness, how formidable Butler is, and a small hint of his capability of humanity. Like he could have tried to kill the fairy and taken the book but is like-no need to take risks, just bargain for a few minutes to copy the book and we’ll cleanse you of your alcohol poising. Also the mother isn’t dead (seriously Disney ya CAN move away from the trope, it’s okay) she’s just in a delusional state because of the grief of losing her husband. And while she isn’t a major character she does come into play later especially at two points towards the end.

Ignoring that the film decides to go in the common tripe of making a story on a grander scale than it needs to be. It’s not just “hey a human is ransoming one of our kind for gold and we need to get them back without paying the ransom”. Instead this thing that doesn’t have a lot of explanation called the Aculos that supposedly has a ton of power that could be used to dominate both human and fairy worlds and a radical named Opal wants it. Honestly, what is wrong with a simple battle of wits between two forces and ultimately one will win. Artemis is no saint but there was enough likeably about him that you wanted to see if he would succeed. There are times when things blows up in his face, but he can work them to his advantage. Honestly I could go on how the changes they decided undermine a lot of what made the books solid (except maybe Atlantis Complex-it’s not some good scenes in it but its pretty average compared to the other books)

To the film itself, a lot of problems I have with it honestly are similar to Last Jedi. The pacing is all over the place and a lot of it feels a bit slideshow. The film drags on where it didn’t need to and not enough time where it had to be. Like we spend so much time on the whole Aculos thing that barely plays much of a part anyways. The film just felt slow. Not exactly boring but not enough to really have tense interest. Also, Artemis is a villain. He’s a smug, arrogant, intelligent, little troll who doesn’t respect anyone. Heck he doesn’t even acknowledge Holly until book 2. Look I know it’s this thing you’re doing making villains more misunderstood and all that but come on Disney-we know you are capable of better stuff than this. We know you’re capable of interesting villains. We know you’re better than this even at reinterpeitating books such as Mary Poppins and Beauty and the Beast. Also the whole sequel bait thing. I know it worked with Marvel but a lot of the first films worked because they focused on complete stories. If there happened to be a sequel it was a bonus. I suppose I should not have been entirely surprised but more disappointed than anything. Even the supposedly emotional moments feel more like slideshow checkpoints than actual scenes. Honestly the films feels like a paint by numbers fantasy film. My dad compared the thing to a more kid version of Men in Black and along the lines of Spy Kids. Which I would be fine with except the film doesn’t have the wit or the goofy charm those had. Heck, imagine if it had been directed by Robert Rodriguez. Like it would have been silly but at least it would have had a charming style to it even if it bombed.

Not everything in the film is awful. The designs are pretty decent if a little generic at times and mostly the characters looked like counterparts. I’m not like 100% miffed they made Butler black and I just made a damn pun joke-but he doesn’t feel as threatening as he should be. In the books he donned on a suit of armor and single handedly took down the troll. Kids will more or less like it, but it really isn’t for adults. It’s not as bad as Wrinkle in Time either. Honestly if I had to put it somewhere on the recent live action Disney films it’s just below Aladdin and above Maleficent. Like the elements are there but it need a far different team to handle it especially for something that has been in development hell for years.

Overall it’s okay for kids but pretty skippable for adults and I don’t see any sequels coming anytime soon. Until then I’m Noctina Noir and I am one Nox of a Nobody.

[ohlovelywar]

Movie Night

a/n: okay LISTEN i was going to bed when my brain decided to be an ass and give me a cuteass story idea and now we’re here sooo enjoy if this is crap i never posted it

Summary: Even superheros love movie nights 

Parings: Peter Parker x Stark! Reader

Warnings: some cursing cause i’m good at that, infinity war doesn’t exist here woo, too much writing but who really cares

Movie nights at the Avengers compound were Peter's favorite. In fact, they were everyone's favorite. The teams of enhanced and highly trained adults never got a minute to settle and do humane things, bond. Times like these were their favorites; where they could just sit and relax in their pajamas, enjoy some random comedy movie or sitcom with the people they fight side by side along with the added bonus of sharing this time with one of the people the team cares about most: Y/N Stark.

Y/N came into Tony's life at a rather unusual time. He remembers it vividly, wishing his 38 year old self hadn't freaked out so much.

****

Tony sat in the bar of his house. His freshly poured scotch on the rocks in his hand as he played around with the circular ice floating in the amber liquid. Nick Fury's words played in his head. "Avengers Initiative," "using your work to save people along with others just like you," "help fight the battles that the average civilian can't," what a load of bullshit. He scoffed as he sipped his drink. Yes, Tony wanted to use Iron-Man for good, to help others, but a team? No, Tony worked best on his own. He didn't need a team nor did he need to be babysat. And "fighting the battles that the average civilian cant"? This isn't Godzilla. There aren't aliens or gods or monsters. Just humans with corrupt hearts and minds. Boy was he wrong.

The loud chime of his home's door bell rang throughout, making Tony sigh.

"Pepper will you be a dear and get that for me thanks," he took another sip of his drink, wishing to just be alone. He listened as her heels moved across the titled floor, as she opened the door to the mysterious person outside his house.

"Uh Tony?" Pepper's usually calm and in charge voice was now replaced with one of uncertainty and concern. "I-I think you should come see this."

"Not now Pep," he grit his teeth. God, why won't anyone get the message.

"No, now Tony." He let another sigh as he dragged himself to the door, scotch still in hand.

"What's the point of having you open the door for me if you're just going to..." he stopped himself after looking outside. A girl, no older than six or seven, stood at his doorstep with nothing but a backpack on her back, a letter in hand, and tears in her eyes that somehow still seemed hopeful.

"Daddy?" Her tiny voice let out once meeting his eyes. Tony's heart stopped. Daddy? Daddy. No one ever said anything about him possibly being a dad to any child.

"What's your name?" Pepper asked the small child, kneeling so she was eye level with her.

"Y/N. Y/N Stark." Pepper's blue eyes met Tony's brown ones. Stark. She's a Stark.

"There's no way..."

"Tony...just look at her." You didn't need a rocket scientist to see that Y/N and Tony were in fact related. She was almost an exact copy of him: dark brown hair, brown eyes, slightly tanned white skin, a face that could get anything she wants. The nose though, the nose wasn't his. Who's was it?

Tony's eyes moved to the letter in his "daughter's" hands. The name "Tony" was written out in beautiful cursive across the front of the folded lined paper. The handwriting seemed familiar to Tony, he just couldn't pinpoint where he's seen it before.

"Can I see that, Y/N?" He asked in a small voice, fear rippling through his normally steady voice. Y/N handed him the letter without hesitation. Her mommy told her that it was very very important for her daddy  to read that letter. His breathing slowed as he read it:

Dear Tony,

               Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it. Six, almost seven years now. You probably don't remember me. I mean, of course you don't remember me. You're a "billionaire, philanthropist, playboy" who "doesn't have time nor want women like me wearing him down". It's Lily, Lily Sharp, in case you somehow remember that name. After our little "reunion" in Italy that one spring day in 2002, I found out I was pregnant. And I haven't been with a man for months so, it had to have been yours. But, after your blow up I decided not to burden you with your own child. So, I kept her a secret. But you were not secret to her. No, I wanted her to grow up knowing who her father was and how great he is. Because even though you're a jerk Tony Stark, you're a genius who's going to change the world someday. And I wanted her to know that she has that in her blood.

Now, you're probably wondering "why the hell did you wait six years to tell me this?" The truth is... I never planned on telling you. But, life has a funny way of changing plans because, I'm bankrupt. And I can't take care of Y/N anymore. The bank was threatening to take her away to some orphanage upstate. I couldn't do that to her Tony. So, I did the best I could. I gave her to the man who will be able to take care of her: her own father.

She's dying to know you Tony. She loves you. And I know you're probably thinking that I'm lying about her being yours (but just look at her, she's you with my nose), you can go ahead and as many DNA tests as you want to prove that I'm wrong. But you'll find that she's yours. She loves you Tony. And she wants your love more than anything in the world. She wants to know about the great man that I always told her about, the one we would always watch on TV together as that was the closest she could ever get being in the same room as you, the one I lied for, the one I lied about to keep her safe. Please, give her a chance. She's a great kid and  deserves so much more than either of us could give her, but at least you have the money to at least try.

Love, Lily

PS Tell Y/N that I love her so so much and that I'll see her soon.

She never did.  

Tony was scared out of his mind. His own father failed him, he had gone six years without knowing the existence of his own daughter, he had Nick Fury on his back wanting him to join some superhero team, up until two minutes ago Iron-Man and Stark Industries were his number one priority, so how the hell was he supposed to all of a sudden be a good father to this innocent child. Tony hesitated in taking her in. Not to be a jerk, not because he didn't care about her, but because he didn't think he could do it. He didn't think that he could be the father that Y/N thinks he is, the father that he knows Y/N deserves.

"Tony, now's your chance!" Pepper told him as she followed him into the bar. Y/N was left behind in the living room with Happy. The bodyguard tried to kept the young girl entertained, but failed miserably, kids are not his forte. "You can end this bad parenting cycle."

"No I can't Pepper!" Tony yelled as he slammed his glass on the bar, turning around to face her. "I can't be the parent that she needs. She's expecting some great man to be her dad, and that's not me. I will only fail her."

"No you won't. You're just saying that because you're scared."

"I have every right to be! I'm not good for her. I-I can't do this. I'm all alone. I can't even take care of myself."

"Who said anything about doing this alone?" Pepper's words sank into Tony's head. "You aren't going to do this alone. I will help you. Happy will help you. Rhodey will help you. You aren't alone Tony," she stepped closer to him with every word. "We aren't going to let you do this alone. Okay?"

"Okay," he pulled her in for an unexpected hug. He wasn't alone. He will never be alone. He was going to be the best he could be for Y/N. Everything was going to be okay

****

Since that day, Tony has been forever grateful to Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey. They helped him raise his precious daughter Y/N. Sure it was hard, parenting is never easy, let alone when your child suddenly enters your life, you have an act to clean, AND your Iron-Man, but they worked it out. Tony and Y/N were a power duo and nothing could stand in their way; not Vanko, not AIM, not the Mandarin, not Killian, not Ultron, not any aliens from space. Tony promised to always keep Y/N as a top priority, to keep her safe, to always come back home. And Y/N always promised to trust her dad, no matter how unsteady his plan may seem, things always seemed to work out.

Tony sat on the white couch with Steve and Rhodey, looking to the right on the matching white Lay-Z-Boy where his daughter was curled up against her loving boyfriend, Peter Parker. She wasn't a kid anymore. She wasn't the six year old girl who showed up motherless on his doorstep. She was a teenager now, falling in love and making mistakes. As much as he wished time would stop so he could hold on to her for just a little longer, he knew he couldn't.

Y/N sat with her boyfriend as her eyes grew more and more tired and she took in the warmth that her personal cushion provided and his signature scent: vanilla and mint. She was aware of her father's gaze on her back. She knows that he was worried about her, he always is he's a parent.

"Worrying means you suffer twice," she teased him.

"You got that from Harry Potter," he pointed out. She rolled her eyes at her father, the two of them sharing a similar stance: arms crossed in front of their chest and a rise brow. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

"Technically Newt Scamander, but he isn't wrong you know!"

She always said this to him. And he knew she was right, though he never admitted it. But didn't stop him from "suffering twice". She thinks that he likes worrying now. And yes, there is an ever so slight distrust in Peter, he is dating his precious baby girl daughter after all, but Tony trusted Peter whole-heartedly, everyone knew that. Peter has done nothing but prove himself worthy since Tony first saw a clip of the teenage boy from Queens stopping a bus with his bare hands.

Y/N Stark and Peter Parker were inseparable, even before they met each other. Y/N had always heard stories from the team about "a teen in spandex who stole Cap's shield",  and was constantly quoting ridiculous pop culture references. Y/N wanted to meet the boy, finding him entertaining and wanting to be his friend. Peter on the other hand, had no knowledge of Y/N existence, barely anyone did. Tony kept her a secret to keep her safe. And she didn't mind, being in the shadows has it's perks. The team didn't know if they were ever going to meet, until Tony invited Peter to the compound.

****

The elevator doors opened, revealing the hallways of the Avenger's compound.

"Holy shit! I'm really in their compound!" Peter excitedly whispered to himself. Be cool Parker, be cool for once in your god damn life.

He walked out of  the elevator and down the hall, taking in his surroundings: several costumes for each Avenger was on display. Several different models of Hawkeye’s bow and arrows. Different models of Falcon's wings, each lighter and more efficient than the last. Different costumes for Scarlet Witch, each one enhancing different aspects of her powers. Different costumes for Black Widows including all of her weapons. Nothing for The Hulk or Thor, not like they'd be able to showcase anything. Different models of War Machine's suit, each changing as Stark Industries tech. became more advanced. Different costumes that Captain America has had throughout the years as well as his iconic shield.

"Ha, I stole that," Peter smiled to himself.

And finally, some of Iron-Man's suits. From the first suit he ever used up until his most recent one: Mark 48. Peter stood in front of it in awe. That's the suit that Tony used during the battle with the other Avengers, the civil war if you will, the one that Peter was a part of.

"Hey kid!" Tony's voice suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey Mr. Stark!" Peter jumped back, pretending that Tony Stark totally just caught him fanboying over his suits. Tony let out a small chuckle, it's been five months and he's still calling him "Mr. Stark".

"Come on. I want to show you something."

Tony led Peter further down the hall, telling Peter things that went over his head. He lost track after "I'm proud of you from stopping that guy...". Proud. Tony Stark was proud of him.

"And that's why I want to give you, this." Tony revealed the surprise to Peter; a brand new suit. This suit was way more advanced than his current one, which is saying a lot. It still had the red and blue that Peter has come to love, just slightly darker, giving it a more mature look.

"Mr. Stark, this is...this is AMAZING! But I can't take it."

"What? Why not?"

"I've given a lot of thought about what you've said and I think I'm good sticking with just some more low profile  work. I mean, don't get me wrong, taking down huge bad guys is fun and all but, I'm not sure that I'm ready for it yet."

"Oh...okay kid. Sure. Yeah! That's...that's okay. You keep doing what you're doing and we'll be right here if you need us."

Peter made his way back to the elevator, Tony's words still sinking in. He's proud of me.

Making her way towards where her dad's press conference would be, Y/N also made her way down the hall, but the opposite direction. She recognized the slightly curled brown hair the minute she saw it.

"Oh my god," she whispered. "Peter!" she called out, gaining his attention. "Hi! I'm Y/N" she politely stuck her hand out for him to shake.

"Uh, hi," Peter breathed out. Why does a pretty girl my age want to talk to me in the Avengers Compound?

"I'm guess Tony already showed you the suit?"

"What? Oh! Yeah! Yeah yeah, he did." Peter was very confused, how did this girl know about him and the suit?

"What did you think?" a nervous smile played on her lips. Please say that you liked it. Please say that you liked it.

"It was amazing! Absolutely incredible!"

"Really!?" a full smile took over Y/N face. Peter didn't understand why, but he was more than happy talking about the suit that Mr. Stark had made him.

"Yeah! Mr. Stark really out did himself this time."

"Yeah. He sure did," she chuckled, looking down.

"Too bad I can't use it."

"What! Why not?" her eyes snapped up to his.

"Hey kid, you're still here?" Tony interrupted the two kids. "Oh, and I see you've met my daughter."

"What?! Daughter?" Peter's eyes widened. He never knew Tony had a kid.

"Yeah, surprise!" Y/N joked, looking at her dad with a smile. "How did the press conference go?"

"Great, as per usual."

"Cocky much?"

"That's where you get it from sweetheart."

"Wait," Peter now interrupted, "I never knew you had a kid."

"No one did! Not even him," Y/N gestured at her father.

"She is right. I decided to keep her from the media. You know, our line of work isn't exactly ideal."  

"I'm cool with it though. I mean, not every kid gets to grow up and say that they basically live with the Avengers."

"Wait so...you know?" Peter asked cautiously.

"I do Spiderling," the girl teased. Peter rolled his eyes jokingly.

"Oh great you too."

"I get it from him," she nudged her dad.

"She's actually the one who designed your suit."

"Wait really?" Peter's eyes widened again. Y/N laughed.

"Yeah. After dad told me what your costume was, I knew I couldn't let New York's friendly neighborhood Spider-Man fight crime in a onesie."

"It..It wasn't a onesie. But thank you, the suit is amazing. KAREN is fantastic."

"Who's KAREN?" Tony asked, very confused.

"His AI," Y/N informed him, "the one I helped created. You know, the one you wanted to be really encouraging because.."

"Okay that's enough oh child of mine!" Tony stopped his daughter before she purposefully revealed too much. "We have to get going Spiderling, but you're welcome back here any time."

"Bye! I'll see you again?" Y/N asked, hopefully.

"Yeah yeah. Definitely." She smiled at him before following her dad into the lab. Yup, they were going to be seeing each other a lot more often.

****

Y/N and Peter's relationship quickly evolved from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend, not that the team minded in anyway. They all absolutely adored the two. Sure some believed that the two were just two teens blinded by love and were eventually going to break-up, but the team truly believed that the couple was in it for the long haul.

The rest of the team was beginning to grow tired; Wanda, Nat, and Bucky were on the floor in front of the couch while Clint was in the other Lay-Z-Boy to the left of the couch. The current episode of Brooklyn 99 ended, the show only on per Y/N's demanding request. The next episode began to load until Tony's Hulu account as yawns from the tired superhero's and their favorite girl began to fill the family room.

"What do we say team? Call it a night?" Steve asked the group.

"I don't know. Why don't we ask our Brooklyn 99 sponsor: Ms. Y/N Stark?" Clint teased. But Y/N was fast asleep in Peter's arms, content.

"Y/N?" Peter gently shook her. Small whimpers fell from her lips from the action as she stirred in Peter's arms, getting comfortable again. "Yeah, she's out."

"Alright, well I guess we'll call it a night!" The team began to get up and stretch as Peter questioned what to do about the sleeping girl in his arms. Tony looked over at the two and his heart swelled.

"Why don't we all sleep out here tonight?" He suggested, his eyes never once leaving the two sleepy teens. "We haven't done that in a while."

"The last time we did it was before Wanda, Bucky, Sam, and Peter joined, when Y/N was ten," Nat brought up.

"All the more reason to do it," Rhodey concluded, already grabbing the blankets and pillows.  Tony grabbed a blanket and laid it on his daughter and Peter.

"Good night you two," he whispered, mostly to Peter.

"Good night Mr. Stark," Peter whispered back, his eyes beginning to close as the warmth from the blanket and his girlfriend was pulling him into a deep sleep. Tony shook his head with a smile.

"It's Tony, Peter, Tony." He left to his designated spot on the couch as Peter pulled Y/N closer with a smile on his face. Y/N nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck and pressed a sleepy kiss on his skin. Yeah, movie nights were Peter's favorite.

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2018, Part V

We’re finally here. Thank you for reading. Or at least scrolling around to the movies that you care about. GREAT MOVIES

12. Minding the Gap (Bing Liu)- In part because it's produced by Steve James, Minding the Gap's easy short-hand is "Hoop Dreams for skateboarding." Because most of the film's pleasures come from following the subjects over the course of five or six years, that makes sense. What differs is that director Bing Liu is so young, which makes this a promising film if a less definitive one than James's feature debut. It’s trying to do so much, but it never feels calculated or constructed as it expands. Boldly, Liu seems to suggest that people don't really change that much, that what drives them or gnaws at them just manifests itself in different ways. The cycle of abuse ends up being a common element for the three skaters, and, as Liu admits on camera, domestic violence is the reason he made the film. (The treatment of it is raw, a blunt object when a more delicate instrument might work better.) He got the hard part right though: delicately getting us to care about people who sometimes don't care about themselves. 11. A Quiet Place (John Kransinski)- Strong early Shyamalan vibes from this lean chiller. Krasinski's directing debut, Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, didn't do much for me, and I skipped his obligatory man-comes-back-to-hometown-because-his-mom's-dying follow-up. But the filmmaking really impressed me here just by understanding how to set the table of this kind of movie. A close-up on an important nail sticking out of a floorboard here, an effortless explanation of a rule there. The hang-up for a film this high-concept is that you get distracted by all of the unanswered questions. (How did he get a printer quiet enough to print out all of those radio call signals?) But this world is fleshed out enough, especially an eerie dinner sequence, to bypass that kind of stuff for me. More than anything, there's a sort of elasticity of shot selection that serves the suspense. A tender early scene in which the central couple is dancing while wearing headphones goes on for maybe twice as long as one might expect. So later, the cross-cuts and smash-cuts have even more weight because the camera was allowed to linger earlier. Here's maybe the biggest reason for the movie's success: The characters are all slightly smarter than the audience, whereas the temptation might have been to go the other way with it. 10. Black Panther (Ryan Coogler)- I don't know if I can add anything to the discourse on this meditative yet ambitious film. I do think one early scene points at what makes it special for the genre. When T'Challa is first named king, he has to be drained of the Black Panther powers to fight anyone who wishes to challenge the throne. A member of an outsider tribe challenges him and nearly beats him. It shows a) the world-building of this noble, fair culture, b) the existence of this fully developed clan that will be important later, c) just how human T'Challa is if his reign can come so perilously close to ending just as it has begun. Every scene like that has a logical purpose. Of course, once Killmonger, the best, most realistically motivated Marvel villain of all time, gets introduced, we return to that method of challenging the throne, and writers Ryan Coogler and Joe Robert Cole aren't afraid to let the worst possible thing happen to T'Challa. What occurred forty-five minutes earlier makes this fight seem like a fait accompli. And it's in this sort of narrative detail that the film is able to work up to its thematic purpose. The first half is about, to quote T'Chaka, whether a good man can be a good king. But the second half is about the responsibility of goodness. Show me where Iron Man bit off that much. 9. Support the Girls (Andrew Bujalski)- Although it takes place mostly in one location during one day, Support the Girls has a bigger world going on in its margins. We hear it on radios, or we see it in the people taking a pitstop in Double Whammies while they're on their way somewhere better. But the force that's really encroaching on the characters' insulated environment is Mancave, the national chain that threatens to put them out of business. "They have commercials and everything," one character complains, and we get snatches of those commercials that were presumably directed by Andrew Bujalski himself. It's ten seconds of content maybe, shot in a bigger, broader style than the modest approach of the rest of the film. But the key to understanding how far Bujalski has come is realizing that he is no longer making fun of the people in the commercial, even if they're jacked bros screaming for a boxing match. That portrayal is amplified, sure, but Bujalski is mature enough now to not ridicule those people. It's okay that they're just not the people he's interested in. He's supernaturally empathetic toward the rogue's gallery of people he is interested in, who spin the ordinary challenges of the working class into something extraordinary. The sunniest member of the team is played by Haley Lu Richardson, who deserves special recognition as the indefatigable Maci. I can't think of parts that are much different from her roles in this, Columbus, and Split, to the extent that people probably don't realize they're played by the same woman, but she rules in every single one. The sky is the limit for her. When a workplace is described as "a family," it's usually just a way for the boss to take advantage of workers when the "family" designation does nothing to help them: "I know I shouldn't ask you to work off the clock, but can you help me out as a FAMILY MEMBER?" Occasionally though, it does feel like a family when people work closely to one another for hours on end and depend upon one another for real life needs. This movie is about what happens when a work family is both control and support.

8. Roma (Alfonso Cuaron)- The trailer for Children of Men advertises itself as "from the director of The Prisoner of Azkaban and Y Tu Mama Tambien," and I remember an audience giggling at that strange CV. For one thing, at the time people didn't understand yet why someone would brag about contributing to a Harry Potter movie. But to pair that children's picture with either a Spanish title they hadn't heard of or a movie that they knew was sexually explicit? Who was this guy? Roma is who he is. I like some of his other films more--I would argue that his approach hurts the performances here--but it seems impossible for him to make anything this personal again. The baldly emotional highs that it reaches come not only from the direct simplicity of the story but also from the sophisticated perspective with which it's being downloaded directly from Cuaron's memory. (It's also, accidentally or purposefully, quite a political film at this moment in time. It insists, sometimes in the dialect of Mixtec, that these people around us silently washing dishes or picking up dog poo are, in fact, part of our family.) There's a moment when one brother throws something at another's head, barely missing, and they both stop in their tracks with fear about how tragically things could have ended up. My dad experienced a similar moment in his childhood, and he would tell the same story about Uncle Steve throwing a shoe at him any time we passed the wooden door with a dent in it at my grandma's house. What a tiny moment to live on for decades, in tangible and intangible ways. Cuaron claims that all of these moments shape us, and taking us to the moon was only a warm-up for resurrecting them for us. 7. Happy As Lazzaro (Alice Rohrbacher)- Alice Rohrwacher won the screenplay award at Cannes, probably because her script for Happy As Lazzaro is fundamentally unpredictable. Games of checkers are unpredictable though. That word doesn't quite cover the way the viewer is forced to guess at something as elemental as "What year is this taking place?" And none of the twists and turns of the storytelling--I refuse to spoil--would gel if Rohrwacher as a director wasn't teaching you how to watch the film the whole time with a rich, warm, light touch. Considering the purity of this vision as a fable, buoyed by realistic labor concerns on the other hand, it's a pity that people are calling Birdbox "crazy" when something like this is just a few clicks down on that service. 6. The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos)- When assessing The Favourite, the easy temptation is to say that because it isn't stuffy, because of its scabrous wit or its intimate filming techniques, that it "isn't your mother's chamber drama." It is invigorating, but in a lot of ways, the film isn't saying anything that the average Masterpiece Theater production doesn't. Instead it takes cultural touchstones about the emptiness of power and distorts them, much like the fish-eye lenses that Yorgos Lanthimos favors to photograph the palace. It says an easy thing in a hard way, with conviction to burn. Lanthimos seems freed by not having to write the screenplay, and every decision of his is rooted in making things more narrow. The barrel distortion of the fish-eye seems apt for this idea, but so do the secret passageways that Queen Anne gets wheeled through to avoid the lower rungs of the estate. Of course there's no outside world to intrude upon her majesty. But there's even an inner world to the inner world. (It's impossible to watch Olivia Colman's gonzo depiction of Anne's incurious indolence and not think of Trump.) I'm convinced that Emma Stone can do anything, and the final shot, an all-timer, only validates that suspicion. 5. Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot (Gus Van Sant)- You have to check out every Gus Van Sant movie, even after a few missteps, because you never know: He might take the emotional climax that you didn't even know you wanted and score it to inter-diegetic "Still Rock 'N Roll to Me," thus grounding real poignance with even realer goofiness.I'll admit that the bar is low, but this is probably the most authentic, least treacly movie ever made about addiction recovery. Van Sant, who wrote, directed, and edited, tells the story with patient command. We take Joaquin Phoenix for granted at this point, but everybody on the poster is exceptional. And Udo Kier gets to say, "Pop, pop. It's always about penises." INSTANT CLASSICS

4. A Star Is Born (Bradley Cooper)- In one scene Cooper's Jackson Maine wears a black leather jacket under a brown leather vest, and the movie itself risks that kind of hat-on-a-hat silliness and redundancy. But instead it comes off as the best kind of big swing, a comforting and warm serving of Old Hollywood. Cooper's camera knows how to embrace silence and let the leads play off each other to craft raw, touching performances. Sometimes the close-ups are so intense and focused that, when he cuts back to a master, it's disorienting to be reminded that there are other people in that space, in the world at all.The movie's deficiencies come from "Wait, how much time has passed?" moments in the writing, problems that I always have had with Eric Roth projects. But it's easy to get swept up in a movie of moments that believes so much in itself.

3. Mission: Impossible- Fallout (Christopher McQuarrie)- The pattern of Mission: Impossible- Fallout is: infodump that explains the stakes and the strategy of what we're about to see, followed by an action sequence that is somehow even more thrilling than the one that came before it. Imagine a really interesting day of grade school classes, in which you learned, like, multiplication, followed by recess every other period. As for T.C., what more could you possibly want out of a human being?

2. Wildlife (Paul Dano)- When Jerry, Jake Gyllenhaal's groundskeeper of pathetic pride, figures out that his boss is about to fire him in front of his son, he smiles and, through clenched teeth, asks if this talk can happen tomorrow. Part of him actually believes that postponing the meeting will help; maybe the boss's temper will cool overnight. But this is a man who is bound by the same desperate spirit as his wife Jeanette, who muses, "Tomorrow something will happen that will make us feel different." When people are living day-to-day, clinging to their dignity--he refers to himself as a "small person" at one point--tomorrow really does offer a regenerative power. Those characters are the same-pole magnets that inform this coming-of-age tale, and the subtext of the film is "Can you believe Carey Mulligan and Jake Gyllenhaal have a fourteen-year-old son?" It works for the 1960 setting because these are people who defined themselves before they knew who they were, and they'll now do anything to re-define themselves as brave/sexy/valuable. But it works for the actors too. Gyllenhaal in particular is tender and heartbreaking in a true supporting role, allowing himself to look his age, framing himself with the dad akimbo arms. But Mulligan's fake confidence is great too, especially in a scene in which she nearly begs her husband to let her work. Something tells me that I should credit a director for coaxing two career best performances from two great actors. Some people just have it, and Paul Dano does.

1. First Reformed (Paul Schrader)- In 1998 I dragged my father to see Paul Schrader's Affliction, a movie that was kind of about my father's father. When the end credits rolled on that bleak, wrenching film, my dad turned to me and said, "I feel like I have to take a shower." We walked around a nearby hotel and talked for an hour, not that he was able to articulate why he was so shaken. We discussed the difference between entertainment and art and what makes a piece of either successful. Even though he hated the experience, he couldn't deny that it was an experience. He kept on saying, "That's not why I go to the movies." And no matter what I, fifteen at the time, told him, he couldn't understand that's exactly why I go to the movies. First Reformed had the same mesmerizing effect as the best of Schrader's work: When I exited the building, I stumbled into the sunlight because I had been trapped in someone else's mind for almost two hours.

Part of that effect comes from the narrative device of Reverend Toller's journal, which plants us in his headspace from the beginning. Part of it comes from the intimate scale of the film, which features only a handful of locations. But if what I'm explaining seems small, then I'm doing a bad job. The canvas expands. Schrader insists that our care for the environment is our most immediate responsibility; this film historian has no problem with planting the film at 2017 in dialogue. And that emphasis is matched only by his disdain for how big business encroaches on personal aspects of our lives. There's even a scene that tries to account for a recent rise in extremism among young people. As if to prove that he isn't being pedantic, he has one character communicate one of those ideas, letting you assume that role is his mouthpiece, then he has another character reply with something just as convincing. First Reformed weaves in those elements, but it's ultimately a character piece that humanizes the type of person we think we know but for which we have no frame of reference. In Ethan Hawke's piercing performance, we see a Reform minister who punishes himself actively and passively for what he thinks are sins. He uses faith as an armor and as an excuse, being so of the mind and--as another character puts it--"in the garden" that he denies himself medical care. No matter what anyone else tells him, he is convinced of one of the tenets that Schrader could never shake from his Calvinist upbringing: There's nothing you can do to save yourself.

[survey1000]

92. I try not to miss you, I try to let go, but in the end, you’re always on my mind.

When’s the last time you ate bread? Today at noon.

What’s the last movie you watched on your own? That’s a good question, probably the Harry Potter movies.

What about the last movie you watched with another person? The Notebook.

What about the last movie you saw at the cinema? Was it good? IT I think, and it was pretty good, just not all the clown parts lol.

Do you attend school, college, or uni? Nope, graduated high school almost 3 years ago and still don’t know what to do with my life lol.

What do you study, wherever you study? I would like to study psychology.

What industry do you want to be a part of when you’re older? Good question.

Are you a Hugh Grant or Colin Firth kinda girl? No idea who either of them are lol.

Kisses on the cheek or the neck? Not sure, I don’t get either #foreveralone haha.

How many girls can you trust? My mom and Bekah.

What about guys? My dad and my papa.

How do you earn your keep? I work my ass off full time.

If you could speak three different languages fluently, what would they be? English, French, and Spanish or Italian.

How many texts have you ever sent on your current phone? Oh god, no idea lol.

Who do you usually text the most? Mom or Bekah.

Baths or showers? Showers.

Cheese or tomato? Cheese.

Shaved legs or shaved arms? Legs since I don’t shave my arms.

Did you know they’re currently shaving their arms some people on this years xfactor? Oh?

Early nights or early mornings? I work for 5:30am so its usually both for me haha.

How many coats do you own? 3 I think. What about shoes? Not many actually, maybe 3 or 4.

One word to describe your most recent ex? Jackass.

Fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs? Scrambled.

Have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed? Nope.

Where, in your current country, would you like to live, other than where you do now? The valley.

Where wouldn’t you want to live? In the city, too many people.

Has your life begun? Not really lol.

Do you like snow? Yes!!! I wish that we would have a white Christmas but for quite a few years we’ve been getting a lot of snow after Christmas, it sucks.

Have you always got good grades? They were decent. I had a grade average of 92% in grade 11.

Do you like sheer clothing? Not for me lol.

Name three things that are over-rated: The new music that’s been coming out since 2013-2014, the Kardashians, and name brands.

List four things about your facial appearance: I have green eyes, natural full lips, I have a birth mark on the left side of my cheek, and I have a lip piercing on my left side.

List four things about your general appearance: I’m 5′5, I’m a brunette, 5 tattoos, and I have another birth mark on my left hand.

List four things you like about yourself: I’m fairly easy to get along with, my eyes, I’m very loyal to my family and friends, and I’m pretty artistic.

List four things you dislike about yourself: Always paranoid, my weight, being antisocial, and being awkward when having to socialize with new people.

List four of your favourite TV programs: WWE, Supernatural, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Crime Watch Daily.

List four of your favourite foods/drinks: Tacos, pizza, iced capps, and chocolate milk.

This quiz is pretty different to others, right? Finally some different questions lol.

Cats or dogs? Both but I only have cats though.

Llamas or sheep? Sheep.

Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street? No.

Are you hungry right now? Nope.

Do any of your friends really irritate you at times? Well yeah lol that’s our job.

What do you think of couples who have entire albums just for them, with pictures of them just randomly at home, doing nothing that really requires a photo? Whatever floats their boat lol.

Can you cook? I probably could if I wanted to ahaha.

Can you iron? I’m not sure, probably lol.

Can you work the microwave? I hope so lol.

Can you work the washing machine? I still live with my parents and mom don’t trust me with it LOL.

Do you like your photo being taken? Hell no.

Do you like taking photos of yourself? When I pretty myself up, yes.

Have you ever got into a club, whilst being underage? Nope, I barely go to bars now that I’m of age lol.

How many magazines do you buy a month? None.

How many of them are car-related? -

What about fashion? -

Any celeb gossip ones? -

Who will do this note after you? Idk.

What pets do you have? 4 cats.

It’s getting pretty cold now, isn’t it? Do you have the heating on? I live in Canada, we don’t find it cold until November really lol.

Do you watch Hollyoaks? Nope.

Do you like Silus? No idea who that is.

Who’s your favourite? -

Who’s your least favourite? -

Do you watch Gossip Girl? Ugh no lol.

Who’s your favourite girl? -

What about guy? -

Last gig you went to? None.

Next gig your going to? No idea.

Favourite colour? Purple.

Are you regularly tired? Ugh yes lol.

Are you excited to live on your own? Nope lol.

When do you plan on moving out? No idea really, I would like to be in a serious, committed relationship when I do, and fuck knows when that’s gonna happen.

Do you have a onesie? I wish!

[agentdagonet]

Echoes, Ch. 10

Find it here on AO3

Find it here on tumblr:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Fic Summary: Feet dangling off the edge of the bed, hands still resting on the earpieces of his glasses, Eggsy opened his eyes.

      And promptly shut them again, screwing them shut like a child who had the distinct misfortune of biting into a raw lemon. Breathing harshly in his nose and out his mouth, trying to stave off whatever delusional panic had befallen him, Eggsy reopened his eyes.

‘Harry?’

Or: The Hologram Story Nobody Asked For

          Eggsy stopped wearing the specs for a bit, after that. The cast came off and PT started for his arm; it was a bitch and a half but it meant he was getting better. That he'd be getting back into the field. But he kept coming back to Harry.           Now that it was shoved into his face, albeit accidentally by what was basically a high-tech ghost, Eggsy couldn't help but marvel that he'd upheld Kingsman tradition entirely by accident. He'd upheld a Galahad tradition in a fit of loss and self loathing. Which in itself seemed to be a Galahad tradition.           He hid the decanter in a cabinet, but it didn't really do much beside leave a hole to remind him of the realisation. A spot where shit's cleaner or something when you move what was there before.

          Eggsy went through the motions of his days much as he had before, but he couldn't really pretend that nothing had changed. On some level (everything I've done has been trying to repay him) Eggsy had always known that Harry still blamed himself for his father's death. No stranger would have reacted to his record so vehemently otherwise- well meaning or not, there'd been honest anger hiding behind his pointed words. The way Harry had always mentioned his dad in passing (your father had the same look on his face) with that melancholy look...           In a strange way, Eggsy was grateful that Harry'd been in a coma for such a large portion of his training. Fuck knew what other unnecessary comparisons he would have made between Eggsy and his dad. Where else Eggsy would have ended up barely more than an echo of his father in Harry's eyes.           Those thoughts were driven from his head as violently and often as he could manage, often with a round or two at the firing range and a stiff drink. With the notable exception of Roxy once betting he couldn't not shoot himself if he was plastered, the two didn't mix- though he couldn't deny that watching Roxy waddle about awkwardly in a set of twenty-five centimetre platforms was totally worth it.

It took a while, but eventually Eggsy put on his big boy pants and sat himself down in front of Harry in the drawing room on a Thursday afternoon.

          'What, no drink, Haz?' Holo-Harry was wearing a cardigan, some dark colour, and holding a book that he'd probably been pretending to read while waiting for Eggsy to step the fuck up and sit the fuck down with him. Not that Eggsy'd been paying attention, or anything.

          'With little exception, Eggsy, relaxation does not require alcohol. Perhaps every once in a while, but if one's immediate association with relaxing is to drink... well, I'm certain we both know where that leads.' The book was closed and placed upon his lap, spine obscured by Harry's forearms resting atop it. 'No, Eggsy, this conversation requires no vice strong as that.           'My name is Harry Hart- my mother named me for her grandfather, Hawkins; luckily without actively providing me with a built in "kick me" sign. My father was not the most pleasant of men, my mother was as well-meaning as she was exasperated with the hand she believed life had dealt her, but betwixt them they had far more connections than any average family ought. Mostly due to the fact that my father's first cousin is a man by the name of Chester King.'

          Eggsy gasped quietly, never having thought he'd one day vaguely regret killing the man. Very vaguely. Like a memory you're not quite sure truly happened or was just a really realistic dream. Or a blurry picture you can just barely make out.

That is to say, not very much at all, but the fact that they'd been related was an unpleasant surprise.           'We never interacted much- our differences in age and politics were a harsh divide- but the connection was there. Many a night I would come home from university to find my father in the sitting room entertaining him, a fair bit of scotch split between two glasses.' Harry sighed, one hand raising to rub at the bridge of his nose, and Eggsy suddenly noticed just how tired Harry looked. 'Contrary to what you might believe based upon this, Chester was not my sponsor into Kingsman. I'm sure you've noticed by now how uncompromising he can be when he has an opinion. And he has many.           'The day Lancelot died, Eggsy, Arthur attempted to make me see how foolish my previous choice of candidate had been. Made a disparaging comment about choosing a "more suitable candidate" and I will happily admit to wanting him to take a long walk off a short pier.' Eggsy snorted a laugh, relaxing despite himself.           'Didn't know you had it in you, Haz.' The nickname was becoming a bad habit, but it wasn't as if Harry were here to correct him.           'I resisted stating as much, but when he tried to make light of your father's sacrifice... I called him a snob, and told him that there was a reason aristocrats developed weak chins. With respect, of course.' Holo-Harry smiled, eyes glazed over as if caught in a pleasant memory, as Eggsy chuckled from behind his hand. Imagining Harry being a shit to his boss was one thing, but having evidence (or whatever the words of a technological ghost were considered) that he actually had been... Eggsy couldn't help but smile fondly at the Harry-That-Was sitting before him. 'I'd have paid to see that.'           'Merlin can likely obtain a copy of that footage- it happened in the Dining Room, certainly not exempt from surveillance. Alternatively, it's also in my personal terminal somewhere, which you have access to as we're obviously interacting at this moment.' 'You was a shit, weren't you, Haz?'

          'I was not always entirely gentlemanly, no- but I knew when to push and when to leave things be. At least, that's what I tell myself when I find I'm in circumstances that could have been avoided by keeping my mouth shut. If I've put myself there, there is a reason and it is worth it. I seldom say much without meaning it.'

          Eggsy was simultaneously elated and despondent, the words having brought two distinct moments to mind, unsurprisingly. I see a young man with potential. (Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him?) And which one was the truth, then? Did he go by what Harry had said most recently? Had Harry seen potential in him at first, only for Eggsy to fuck it up by not noticing the blank? Would Harry have ever acknowledged Eggsy's accomplishments as his own, instead of some warped echo of his father's potential?           'But that's getting a bit far from the topic. Which, yes, there is in fact a purpose here, Eggsy. I came to the realisation a few days ago that, for all that I know about you, you don't know that much about me. It's something that would have been rectified with time, had I not ended up in a coma and had actually spent your candidacy conscious and present. Or after you had become Lancelot as I was rightfully sure you would.' There was a now-familiar pang in Eggsy's chest.           'Unfortunately, as we sit here having this admittedly one-sided conversation, it's plain to see that we did not get that time. So, I have decided to impart to you what I felt was worth mentioning here. Certainly an unconventional use of Merlin's technology, but not an immoral one. 'I digress, today I've sat here to tell you about my life before Kingsman- the man behind the mask, as it were.'           'I know enough, Haz- I know you from Merlin's drunken ramblin' and your fucking stuffed dog and the old footage I've been going through on your laptop. Yeah, maybe I added some shit here an' there in my head but I knew you- maybe not as much as I wanted to, or as well, but enough.'           'I met the previous Bedivere by happenstance at one of the incredibly boring functions my father expected me to attend. In retrospect he likely expected me to eventually set aside my differences with Arthur and conform to the conventions of that life- which both happened and didn't.' The hologram continued, luckily not talking through Eggsy but not acknowledging that he had spoken beyond the pause.

          'I went to university to study Entomology, I've always found the process of pinning insects fascinating, and intended to look into museum work. Curating seemed to be as far from the posh life my father wished for me to enjoy, which pleased my rebellious side. It happened that my obsessive knowledge of insects saved Bedivere from something or other- I don't recall the details, it was a number of years ago- and when the Galahad position became available he named me as his candidate.' A slow smirk curled itself at the edge of Harry's mouth, and Eggsy could easily visualise him steepling his hands as he leant forward onto the table. 'You can only imagine the look on poor Arthur's- Lamorak, at the time- face when I won. Unfortunately there is no footage- as ahead of the times as Kingsman always is, there are limits.'

          'I got the feeling it's the opposite of the face he made when I fucked up the last test. Like, he drank half a glass of sour milk and can't bring himself to sick it up, or something.'           'Needless to say it was the highlight of my life until that point. I could probably form a fully corporeal patronus with that alone.' 'You read the Potter books? Thought you was too old for that.'           'Eggsy, you'd be hard pressed to find something I would refuse to read. They were only a global phenomena, and there was a limit to how many "you're a wizard, Harry!" jokes I could take from James before picking the damn things up. Don't let Percival's stoic demeanour fool you- he's just as awful as his husband was. You just don't think he could be the culprit.'           'You sound like a conspiracy theorist- you gonna tell me the moon doesn't exist or something?'           'Fine. Don't believe me. I certainly won't be there to help you undo whatever he decides upon for you. And Roxy's friendship will not grant you mercy. You'll see.'

'Sure, Haz. If you say so.' Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[toomanysurveys9]

The Redundant Basics I. What does the name say on your birth certificate?

marlina dee.

II. What is the name that all your friends call you by?

usually marlina. sometimes marley.

III. What day of the year do you blow out the candles?

september 1.

IV. Which country authorized your passport?

i don’t have a passport yet. i’m going to get one for wyatt and me though because we want to travel.

V. What are you Zodiac and Chinese signs?

virgo and rooster i think?

VI. In terms of politics, do you sit on the right or the left?

eh. not really on either side completely.

VII. Look in the mirror. The color of your hair is what?

brown.

VIII. Look in the mirror one more time, what color are your eyes?

blueish.

IX. Hop on the weighing scales! How far did the number jump past 0?

i don’t know or care.

X. Stand up straight! How high up is the top of your head from the ground?

about 5′2.5″...

Home Sweet Home

I. Who are all those other people living in your house?

mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, jacob, wyatt, ashley, erin, lillith, rose, phe, cocoa, buffy, and tia. it’s too many people for a tiny 3 bedroom trailer.

II. Do you get along with mom or dad better?

mom i guess. although not so much when we’re living together.

III. What do your parents friends call them?

mom and dad usually.

IV. Any siblings living outside the house?

my brother. he’s so lucky he was able to get out.. i can’t wait to get out.

V. What’s the name of the place you live in currently?

goshen.

VI. You love it there, dont you?

no. i can’t wait to get the hell out of here.

VII. If you could live absolutely anywhere on the Earth, what locale would you choose?

looking at tennessee or georgia.

VIII. Out of all those blood related, immediate or other, which single person would you list as your favorite?

wyatt. without a doubt. that’s my son for those of you who don’t know.

IX. Who is one you wish you didnt share blood with?

jason.

X. Overall, you like moms side of the family more, or dads?

mom’s. dad’s side sucks.

Knowledge Is Power

I. First things first, private or public school?

i went to public schools through high school, and then a private college.

II. What’s its name? mascot? colors?

high school was redskins. bethel was pilots.

III. What is/are the class(es) you can’t wait to get to?

i’m no longer in school.

IV. How about the class you consider bedtime?

when i was in school, i hated the ones about religion, and math classes.

V. The name(s) of your favorite teachers:

high school: snyder, snyder, mama yoder, and sabo. college: lafountain and carlson, even though carlson scared the hell out of me too.

VI. The name(s) of the teacher that puts your to sleep:

loved him, but spivey.

VII. Are you an English/Art, or a Math/Science person?

english/science. sucked at art and math. lol.

VIII. What sports do/have you played:

none. i wanted to play soccer but parents wouldn’t let me since i was so allergic to grass.

IX. When the teacher checks the homework, do you usually get a “0” or a “100”?

i got 100′s more than 0′s.

X. If you could change one thing about your school, what would it be?

i wish i had gone to a different school for college in general.

Confidentiality & Beliefs

I. What’s your worst fear? Have you ever experience this fear?

that i’m going to fail as wyatt’s mom. i kind of feel like i have considering how we’re currently living.

II. Have you ever acted troubled, just to get attention?

no. i have not.

III. Do you believe in God? Jesus? Satan? Heaven? Purgatory?

no. to all of it.

IV. Do you have a secret that you’ll take to the grave with you?

i don’t think so.

V. Have you ever told somebody you loved them, when secretly you didnt at all?

not that i can think of.

VI. (Friends, Religion, Politics, Family, Education, & Relationships) Organize the previous six in order of your personal preference in life:

family, relationships, education, friends, politics, religion.

VII. If you could change one thing about your physical looks, what would it be?

stomach.

VIII. If you could change one thing about your personality, what would it be?

i wish it was easier for me to make friends.

IX. Have you ever cried in front of someone, and felt ashamed of it?

yes. every time i cry.

X. Have you ever done drugs? Are you on drugs? Do you plan to take drugs?

no, no, and no.

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of Music

I. If you had to pick, what’s your favorite song of the moment?

boy by lee brice.

II. Do you get most of your music from the internet, or from the store?

internet.

III. Even though you can download music, do you still buy cds just because of the cd-case, CD itself, booklet, or just general authenticity?

sometimes i guess, if i really really want it.

IV. What lone genre of music do you prefer above all?

i will probably always love country above all else.

V. What genre of music would you never be caught dead with?

opera probably.

The Small & Silver Screens

I. What’s your favorite movie?

any disney movie. harry potter. lotr. star wars.

II. Generally, what genre of movies do you jump at the oppurtunity to see? (Action, Adventure, Comedy, Horror, Drama, Romance, Science Fiction):

depends. probably action adventure, or romance.

III. Who is the actress/actor you most admire?

misha collins. jensen ackles. jared padalecki. robin williams.

IV. Do you cry during/after certain movies? If yes, what was the last movie you remember crying at?

occasionally. i cry so easy anymore, it’s ridiculous. lol. i don’t remember the last movie i cried during or after, but i’m pretty sure it was animated.

V. What time of day do you prefer to see movies at (morning, noon, or night):

night.

VI. What is the tv show you never miss?

i miss lots of shows. i only have netflix.

VII. What is it you like about it so much?

^^^

VIII. Whats the one tv show you can’t stand?

most reality shows.

IX. Do you think you sped more time watching the television or using the computer?

television. i rarely have time for the computer, whereas the television can be left on as background noise.

X. Do you personally think that you spend too much time watching tv?

not really because i don’t really watch it a whole lot.

Bon Appetite

I. Whats your favorite meal?

pretty much anything my parents cook. :p

II. How about your favorite dessert?

probably ice cream.

III. When only a kid, did you eat your vegetables?

usually, depending on the veggies we were having.

IV. Do you still eat vegetables?

^^^

V. Are you a poor, average, or excellent cook?

probably pretty average at the moment.

VI. What type of food do you prefer?

hmm. i like a lot of pastas, so italian is a favorite and i guess chinese.

Salt or pepper?

probably pepper. not a huge salt fan.

VIII. ketchup or mustard?

ketchup. i barely like mustard.

IX. Do you prefer going out to breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

breakfast or dinner.

X. Do you eat to live or live to eat?

eat to live.

All’s Fair In Love and War

I. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?

husband actually.

II. Are you in love? Or are you using them?

in love... most of the time.

III. Do you find most of the time you dislike the people that like you and vice versa?

back when people liked me, yeah. lol.

IV. In terms of relationships, are you loving or manipulative?

loving. i usually fall for manipulative people.

V. Do you live to love? or would you rather love to live?

this one doesn’t really make sense.

VI. Do you believe that sex should come before or after marriage?

whenever you want to have sex as long as you’re two consenting adults.

VII. Do you plan to marry, if so at what age?

i am married. we got married when we were 22, a couple months before we turned 23.

VIII. Do plan to have children, if so how many?

i have one and would be okay having one more at some point, but i’m also more than okay with just wyatt.

IX. Are your parents married or divorced?

they’re married and have been 25 years.

X. Do you want to have a big, spactacular wedding with everyone you know invited or a small, traditional, get-together with family and close-freinds wedding?

ours was more on the traditional, small side.

[sambashua]

92 questions/random questions/8 things tag~

hello friends !!! i’ve done the first two tags before but it’s been quite a while so ?? let’s see if i can come up w new responses i guess?? also these all have similar-ish questions so i thought i’d combine them so i don’t clog up everyone’s dashes~

tagged by (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ(ilya so dang much my favorite muffins)

92 questions: mariel! @jaehyunscult kelby! @yooncheoly and claudia! @s-lay-ing 

random questions: kolbo! @yooncheoly ommo! @strawberryboo​ and cloodoo! @s-lay-ing 

eight things: em! @seoulscapes mj! @jungnoir and kat! @atshinee

i’m going to tag @everyonesabiaswrecker @hoshi-ssi @king-hao @moonhyook @taeismyking @honestlay @yoonsunha @amessence @kylamassie1 @peachesandkili and also the beans who tagged me above!! you can do one of the ones you didn’t tag me in hehe(≧◡≦)

you guys can choose whichever tags you want!! or all of them ? idk it’s basically either long, easy or creative so whatever you feel like doing… or do none of them!! that works too! if you don’t want to be tagged just let me knowwww also you rlly don’t have to read this whole thing it is so damn long… but w/o further ado…

92 questions

the last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my grandma !

3. text message: “THEBOP OF THE SUMMER” (sic)

4. song you listened to: ‘love paint (every afternoon)’ by NU’EST started playing before i got out of the car last night… WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED I WATCHED MX’S NEWTON THIS MORNING OH MY GOD THE BOP OF THE SUMMER THAT’S WHAT THE TEXT WAS ABT BTW

5. time you cried: hmmmm not monsta x surprisingly ? but we have some rlly spicy food in LA and @everyonesabiaswrecker @taeismyking and i had to hide our eyes from the waiter lol

have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nooo (as i said last time i’ve never dated so these are all no’s so you can skip around a bit i suppose)

7. been cheated on: nooo

8. kissed someone and regretted it: nooo

9. lost someone special: yea

10. been depressed: nope

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: drinking makes ya do bad stuff kids

list three favorite colors (12-15)…

grey, light blue nd light green !

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yeAH SO MANY! irl and online i’m so thankful for everyone i’ve met~~ since i started uni i was rlly nervous abt meeting people and although i have one (1) new friend irl (shoutout to my main main main kat @atshinee literally where would i be w/o you i probably woulda gotten stuck at camp bc of the hail storm) i’ve met countless lovely individuals online that i am forever grateful for;;; now i’m being all sappy someoNE STOP ME

16. fallen out of love: nooo

17. laughed until you cried: almost everyday~~

18. found out someone was talking about you: oh yea

19. met someone who changed you: YES

20. found out who your true friends are: yeah!

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nooooooooooooooope

general stuff

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: idk like probably actually 80% but they’re not people i talk to now ? (kat still yells at me abt my answer last time)

23. do you have any pets: I GOT TWO CATS TOM TOM AND MYSTERY THEY ARE ADORABLE BEANS ND I LIKE TO BRAG ABT THEM SO ASK ME FOR PICS

24. do you want to change your name: i like my name a lot tbh (there’s so many endless nickname possibilities honestly)

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i got gelato w two of my closest frandssss and also listened to nct dream like the whole day it was the best

26. what time did you wake up: um m m i think 9? yesterday i went to bed at 3:30 and woke up at 7:30 so i slept in more today lol

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to read a soonhoon fic from eep and messaging ivy:D

28. name something you cannot wait for: uM IDK EVERYTHING I WAS WAITING FOR ALREADY HAPPENED i guess just moving back to school and starting classes??? i’m so anxious ugh

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 4 ? hours ago ?

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: um idk i think i’m pretty blessed to be completely honest

31. what are you listening to right now: there’s construction going on in the distance idk what they’re doing but it is LOUD

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i’m so shook people haven’t talked to any toms i’ve met so many i don’t undeRSTAND

33. something that is getting on your nerves: ignorance *finger guns*

34. most visited website: tumblr (i haven’t been on youtube much lately cry)

35. elementary school: yeahhh

36. high school: yeahhh

37. college: yeahhh

38. hair color: blonde 

39. long or short hair: it’s so long rn i’m constantly choking on it

40. do you have a crush on someone: crushes are for noobs

41. what do you like about yourself: “everything, love yourself.” -kat

42. piercings: ears but i never wear them

43. blood type: idk my parents are both AB so my mom says we’re that too but mom that’s not how genetics work

44. nickname: i have so many but my most common one is mir~ i answer to anything tho

45. relationship status: engaged to jeon wonwoo

46. zodiac sign: cancer~

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: game of thrones or below deck (watch it it’s a reality show abt a yacht crew it’s so entertaining) 

49. tattoos: nope i’m too indecisive

50. righty or lefty: right

first…

51. surgery: i had surgery junior year of high school

52. piercing: did they not already ask this oh jk this is first well i still only have ears

53. best friend: in the womb bitchhh (-8 months would be the official age)

54. sport: i think karate ? my dad is super sporty tho so sister and i tried every sport known to man

55. vacation: probably washington bc i have a lot of family there

56. pair of sneakers: literally who knows this tho

right now…

57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: now i’m drinking tea

59. i’m about to: eat a bagel maybe

60. listening to: good luck by aoa (yessss my girls)

61. waiting for: jordyn to get off work so i can see her new dorm:D

62. do you want kids: i always have

63. do you want to get married: i don’t really know marriage seems so outdated…

64: what career do you want: journalist (yay)

which is better…

65. hugs or kisses: hugs!

66. lips or eyes: eyes!

67. shorter or taller: i don’t have much preference but i’m tall and i like being tall

68. older or younger: i don’t really care bc some older people are really immature and some younger people are really mature so~

70. nice arms or nice stomach: i really really don’t care

71. sensitive or loud: these honestly aren’t even antonyms

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: i’ve never been a troublemaker so ?

have you ever…

74. kissed a stranger: nooo

75. drank hard liquor: neh ?

76. lost glasses/lenses: i have above average vision boiiiii

77. turned someone down: i mean;;;; i think most people have at least indirectly

78. had sex on the first date: nooo

79. broken someone’s heart: i really doubt it lol

80. had your heart broken: jeon wonwoo breaks my heart daily

81. been arrested: nooo

82. cried when someone died: yeahh

83. fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in…

84. yourself: YEAH I GOT THIS! YOU GOT THIS! WE ALL GOT THIS!

85. miracles: maybe ?

86. love at first sight: not even a little bit

87. santa claus:

LOOK AT SOONYOUNG I’M LAUGHING

88. kiss on the first date: i mean i don’t see why not

89. angels: maybe ?

other…

90. current best friends name: sister n em n kat n cass n jords n val :3

91. eye color: grey ish

92. favorite movie: the proposal was my favorite movie for so long;;; i liked moonlight a lot too go see it

random questions

dude i fucking forgot abt this one i thought i was done fuck (why is this font so tiny)

relationship status: single for 19 years bishhhhhhhh favorite color: grey!! but i’ve been feelin orange lately hmmmm lipstick or chapstick: i like tinted lip balm:) but i even use vaseline sometimes try it okay it makes yo lips so soft last song you listened to: well i already said so i’ll do what’s stuck in my head rn: coffee by bts (it’s so good i get such calming vibes from it) last movie you watched: BABY DRIVER it was so ffffff good 100/10 would rec~ the car chases were so cool dude also ansel elgort is such a cutie top 3 characters: i’ll as april ludgate from parks n rec (are you happy jords), celaena from throne of glass, ndddd risa koizumi from lovcom:) top 3 ships: jejun ! soonwoo ! MARKHYUCK(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ books you are currently reading: rnnnn i’m STILL reading heir of fire (don’t worry cass i will finish it in time) top 5 musicals: mulan is endlessly iconic okay, hsm, phantom of the opera, the sound of music nd mama mia !

eight things

last movie watched: baby driver hoo hoo last song listened to: me gustas tu bitchhhhh last book read: Crown of Midnight still oops sorry cass i’m so damn slow these days  last thing eaten: fig newtons (buy newton by monsta x on itunes) if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be: wherever @atshinee​ is because i want to support her for her test but i know i would probably just distract her:(((((( a fictional character you would hang out with for the day: probably dorian from throne of glass bc he just seems like such a lovable dork i want to give him a big ole hug he needs it  what fictional world/universe would you want to spend a week in: i used to be obsessed w the series Gregor the Overlander as a kid and i’d really want to spend a day there that would be so awesome esp the one where they travel through the one rainforest jungle… but also Harry Potter bc i rlly want to go to hogwarts and just;;; look around? it’s so pretty and i want to see all the paintings and staircases and the people it’d be great last video game played: i’ve never rlly played video games… i used to play the sims does that count rip

well it’s finally frickin done i doubt anyone bared w me for this trainwreck…….. i’m so tired now will i even do more of these today jk i gotta i am so behind but no selfie tags i look trash

[melancholiablackbile]

A lot of questions... my my, someone's curious lol

@black-satin-dancer tagged me, cheers dude :D

Rules: answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions …pshh please, let’s keep it realistic - I don’t even know that many people irl. (also didn’t feel obligated to answer the Dragon age/Mars effect questions, because I’ve never played it)

1. coke or pepsi?

Neither. I absolutely hate fizzy sweet drinks lol. The only thing I enjoy is kombucha and I’ve had ginger ale which I can tolerate. (btw did you know there’s something called bacon soda? I just found out and I’m absolutely horrified and disgusted. pls burn this knowledge out of my brain thank)

2. disney or dreamworks?

I don’t have a preference, nor am I overly invested in any of the two, so it depends. By Disney I really like Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare before Christmas and Frankenweenie, to pick a few. As for DreamWorks, Penguins of Madagascar are THE SHIT omg 3. coffee or tea? I’m a tea person, however I enjoy coffee flavour in things

4. books or movies?

Both

5. windows or mac?

I use windows, don’t feel like I’m missing out or anything tbh

6. dc or marvel?

I’m only starting to get into comics, and I’ve probably seen more marvel films than dc ones, but I think I like dc a little more I like the older Batman films by Tim Burton.

7. xbox or playstation?

playstation. “OF COURSE we’re going to go with the ps4 - they’re blacker!” :D

8. dragon age or mass effect?

Haven’t played either, but was thinking about giving Dragon age a go

9. night owl or early riser?

aw shit dude, I don’t even know anymore. my sleeping schedule is so fucked up lately, I tend to be a night owl tho. But hey, time isn’t really anyway, so..

10. cards or chess?

both, but you can do more with cards. like chess is just one game, but there are lots of different card games. I personally identify with CAH, I think the company should hire me, because I’m a horrible person lmao

11. chocolate or vanilla?

chocolate all the way. I don’t eat it often, but when I do, I’m a snob about it - I only like the dark stuff (only vegan ofc). bonus points, if there’s dried fruit like berries in it. To sum it up (i’m taking this way too seriously and detailed lol, but I have insomnia ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) overall, chocolate flavour is better I guess, vanilla makes me vomit, it’s disgusting and I hate it. 12.vans or converse? I used to own a pair of converse, but neither are shoes I’d wear now

13. fluff or angst?

a good combination of both ehehe

14. beach or forest?

forests are awesome - they are green and smell amazing, you can spot a lot of wild animals and the atmosphere is very serene and calming. I’ll always pick forests over beaches, unless the beach is all sand or small round marble stones, the water is clear without the detached, rotting algae stuff that floats around and ew, the sun has fucked off so I don’t get sunburnt (my skin always skips the tan stage right to red and I prefer pale skin anyway) and all sweaty and shit, there are NO people beside those I’m there with and I do NOT spot any animal while in the water that’s bigger than like 5cm. Because even though I love and respect it deeply, I’m genuinely afraid of sea life, I don’t care that there are lots of totally harmless creatures. …lmao, I feel like a rich asshole saying all that - way too many demands. (sorry sea/ocean, I love you, but you freak me the fuck out)

15. dogs or cats?

I have dogs, but I love both. With dogs, the love is more likely to be returned though :D

16. clear skies or rain?

clear night skies for star gazing, rain during the day

17. cooking or eating out?

I eat mostly raw vegan nowadays, because it’s healthy I don’t have the energy to cook and can’t be arsed and I’m not too fond of eating in public so… preparing/eating food at home?

18. spicy food or mild food?

all the spices lol

19. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas?

How is this a question, have you met me? My whole existence basically revolves around celebrating Halloween like every day

20. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot?

The first one is way better imho, I’m usually a little too cold anyway (no pun intended omg) and I’m fine with that.

21. if you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Hydrokinesis (so basically I’d be a water bender ehehe) or Telepathy

22. animation or live action?

both are great (with the exception of some anime adaptations lol)

23. baths or showers?

showers don’t take too long, but baths are very nice from time to time

24. team cap or team ironman?

Team Loki, duh! No, but honestly, I’m not really invested in the whole civil war thing, but if cap is a nazi, then I’m team ironman

25. fantasy or sci-fi?

both are amazing and bring happiness into my life

26. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they?

I guess I have a lot of favourite ones, but these two came to my mind right now: “I do desire we may be strangers” (Shakespeare) it’s such a classy and eloquent way to tell someone you hate them :D “And so being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy” (E.A. Poe) because ME tbh

27. youtube or netflix? 

Youtube, no netflix here

28. harry potter or percy jackson?

Harry Potter all the way. I’ve read the first Percy jackson pentalogy and don’t get me wrong, Greek mythology is awesome, but wizards over demigods

29. when do you feel accomplished?

Idk, when I’m able to do more than the bare minimum and when I totally Tony Stark the whole subject/study material the night before the exam. and probably smug/petty rather than accomplished - when I prove horrible people/people I don’t like wrong or do things they don’t approve of lol

30. star wars or star trek?

I have to say Star Trek but I love both

31. paperback or hardback books?

Hardback. HARDBACK!

32. horror or rom-com?

I’ve always gravitated towards horror - psychological, gothic, really bad b/c movie style, etc. - I get bored by rom-coms

33. tv shows or movies?

depends, but both. as an aspiring actor, beside theatre, I think I’d like to work on films over tv shows - if I ever get the chance to do so that is

34. favourite animal?

penguins, rats, corvids.. but like, birds in general and all animals are awesome anyway and precious and worth of life 35. favourite genre of music? alternative rock - which is a broad spectrum tho, so I guess rock sub-genres in general.. art rock, goth rock, punk rock my favourite (purely because of the name) is krautrock (aka kosmische Musik) which is the German term for space rock, but the literal translation is either herb or cabbage rock lmao :D throw in some psychedelic stuff, ambient music, experimental and classical and I’m good to go

36. least favourite book?

Madame Bovary. I think The Great Gatsby was boring too. I don’t usually read books without researching it a bit before so I can somewhat predict whether I’ll like it or not. (btw, if you’re into fantasy at all, 10/10 recommend reading the series A Raven’s Shadow by Anthony Ryan, he’s such an eloquent writer and the plot and characters are incredible! 37. favourite season? The season of Halloween - autumn all the way

38. song that’s currently stuck in your head?

Cinnamon Bone by Eliza Rickman. She has a really nice voice and combined with the melody it sounds very unique. Actually didn’t know who the singer was until a few days ago. She also performed in the weather section in a Welcome to Night Vale episode. Oh and I rewatched CATS the musical on Sunday, so like.. the whole libretto is playing in my head on loop :D I’ve pretty much known the entire thing by heart since I was like 8 lol

39. what kind of pyjamas do you wear?

Either boxer shorts or Levi Ackerman’s running titan pyjamas lmao

40. how many existential crises do you have on an average day?

I’m having an ongoing one since the age of 16 tbh

41. if you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be?

Space Oddity by David Bowie

42. favourite theme song to a TV show?

I’ve know this song before I started watching the show, but Far from Any Road from True Detective is amazing. And the opening to snk season 2 lol, it gets me all fired up and ready to salivate every time Levi appears cry probably idk :D

43. harry potter movies or books?

even though, they are problematic in some aspects, both have their charm (pun absolutely intended this time)

44. you can make your OTP become canon but you’ll forget that tumblr exists. will you do it? 

Bitch, my otp is canon. and I doubt anyone can really forget about tumblr - you can try and leave, but it will never leave you

45. do you play an instrument and if so, what is it? 

Not like professionally or since early childhood and all that, but I taught myself how to play the violin and I think I’m pretty decent. Same goes for drums. My dad and I low-key collect musical instruments, I think we have around 20+ pieces ^^

46. what is the worst way to die?

alone and helpless and in excruciating pain from whatever the cause was that didn’t kill you immediately though, so you have to suffer

47. if you could be entirely invisible for a day, what would you do? 

Be sneaky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) lol idk, I’d do stuff anxiety and self-consciousness prevent me from in normal life. Okay, that is so pathetic, but my first thought was “I’d go swimming” … *wipes away a tear*

48. If you could have personally witnessed anything in history what would it be?

I feel like it’s kinda selfish and considering I’d choose this out of any moment in history maybe a wasted opportunity? but I would have loved to see David Bowie perform. Idk, I’m sure there’s more, but it’s 3am here..

49. If you could understand animals but you could never understand humans again, would you?

I find I often don’t understand humans anyway..

50. What is your most favourite album currently?

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars by David Bowie is my go to favourite album, haven’t really listened to whole albums lately, just a few songs here and there 51. (my question) What is your favourite word/phrase/colloquiallism? Name one (or more) per language you speak c:

tbh, Jeremy tagged most of the people I’d tag too, so I’m just adding @the-river-dream-shore and @slecnaztemnot to this if they or anyone else feel like it ;) I’m going to sleep now hopefully~

Note: Wow, that’s a lot of reading material lol. Why did I sound so angry?? I was tired, so that took a toll on my answers, I promise I’m not that much of an asshole :D

[noonetosmilefor]

Random questions

So, I got asked by @hopedreamssoul to answer all 150 questions. Thank you, darling. ❤️

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? - Lick.

2. What is home to you? - Home to me can be a person, a place, a city, somewhere, where I feel alive, can be myself and happiest.

3. What was the last lie you told? - I told myself the lie that I’m going to bed earlier today. (And now I’m sitting here answering these questions.)

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? - Yes.

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? - When I was a child I really hated these ‘trolls’. They freaked me out.

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. - I told a friend to go to a shop near our town because they have cool new toys for dogs. I forgot that her dog died almost a month ago.

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) - For me personally: Falling asleep and cleaning. (Idk, man.)

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? - I can’t remember. 

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? - About 10 or so.

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? - In hugs.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? - 3.

12. What is your paradise? - My personal paradise is when I can do what I want, be myself and with people I love to death. 

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) - Rain.

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? - I don’t know, I hope I’ve never broken anyones heart.

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? - That people can communicate with each other, even though they’re miles apart. That say’s that I have a lot of friends who life far away from me.

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? - I think it’s because it makes them happy to ‘care’ about someone else. If it gives them hope/motivation/happiness etc., why shouldn’t they care about them. I can’t say I ‘care’ about celebrities. It doesn’t affect me if a certain celebrity does something wrong or something like that.  I really like a lot of celebrities and the way they’re. I like their music/acting skills and so on.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? - Sitting beside me and chewing on their fingernails or eat noisily constantly. 

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? - Sometimes, depends on the situation. But I can’t think of any pros or cons, because it just happens sometimes.

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? - Yes, the transverse flute.

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? - Sometimes. It depends on my mood and look.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? - My hair, my eyes and my honesty.

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? - “Travel the world, go on adventures without fear. Learn to get to know the unknown and do what you love.”

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? - I don’t think so. I don’t like children that much and I can get very moody and want to be alone a lot of time.

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? - Listening to my favorite band while laying in bed.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? - Today.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? - A mixture of both. It always depends on the situation.

27. What constitutes a good friend? - Honesty, loyalty, the same humor, a good listener, someone who can put their phone away while being with me.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? - One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? - That someone is pissed.

30. What is your dream job? - Something I love doing, that makes me happy. I want a job where I can be independent. 

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? - Lazy but smart.

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? - That I’m crying a lot when I’m on my own.

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? - Why do they have to be so stubborn all the fucking time?

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? - The Harry Potter world.

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. - She’s not a friend of mine anymore. She treated me like shit after she got together with her current boyfriend because he told her, that I’m not worth her friendship.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? - I would want to find myself and find a way with that other person how to work this shit out.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? - I would burn it.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? - Uh, I don’t know?

39. Name the last book you read. - “Achtnacht” by Sebastian Fitzek.

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? - In a bad way of course. It would never be the same with friends again.

41. When was the last time you made the first move? - A week ago.

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? - I personally don’t like it and wouldn’t say that this is ‘music’.

43. What was the last movie you watched? - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? - Currently not really.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? - No.

46. When was the last time you cried? - Today.

47. What are you scared of? - Since my childhood, I was scared of the No-Face, don’t know why. It’s getting better, but I can’t watch the movie ‘Spirited Away’.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? - A lot of cringe-worthy things happen to me every day. But I’m not embarrassed easily.

49. What are some of your hobbies? - Listening to music, reading, going to the cinema with friends, attending concerts, traveling.

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? - I’m sometimes really sloppy.

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? - I think so. I’m a good listener and try to be as honest as possible. Also I want to make my friend’s days better.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? - No.

53. What have you learned the hard way? - That I can’t have everything and do everything I want to.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? - Motivation.

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) - Photography.

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? - Creative.

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? - I completed school successfully. 

58. What is your ideal meal? - Italian pasta with sea food. Would die for that right now.

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? - Not being honest.

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? - YES. All kinds of animals.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? - Guns.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? - I sometimes really enjoy listening to trashy songs.

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? - Fandoms.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? - Not really.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? - Beauty is a good way for everyone to express how they feel. It doesn’t matter what you look like, the beauty lies within yourself. I think it’s great that big girls/boys also get recognized nowadays. Because they’re as beautiful as thin girls/boys.

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? - Not at all. If I go to work I have to get up at 6 AM. If not, usually at 10 AM.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? - Yes. The Lion King. I love Nala.

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? - City.

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? - Near the ocean.

70. What are the best things about winter? - The snow, the cold storms and the silence that lies within a snowy day.

71. What scares you most about the future? - That I don’t know what might happen.

72. What makes you feel old? - Seeing tv shows I used to watch as a kid/teen.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? - Uff, I think about 10 hours.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? - Don’t have any.

75. What is your life story in 6 words? - Full of traveling and lovely friends.

76. Describe yourself in one word. - Ambitious.

77. What bad habits do you do? - I often command people.

78. What genre of music do you listen to? - I love love looove pop-punk.

79. Most prominent childhood memory? - The divorce of my mom and dad.

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? - I think we’d do a lot more dangerous stuff and he would be over protective.

81. Spirit animal? - Sherlock Holmes.

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? - Yeah, kinda.

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? - “Be yourself.”

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. - My two best friends Iris and Marci and @hopedreamssoul. ❤️

85. Favorite memory of your family. - The chilled Sundays in our house.

86. What do you look for in a relationship? - Honesty, openness, loyalty, a bright smile, a kind heart, a good listener and someone adventurous.

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? - No, I don’t think so. I’m just who I am, I don’t need a role model.

88. What is your opinion on social media? - I like it. But it can ruin a lot too. I see people barely talking to each other when they’re out with friends because they constantly stare at their phones. I HATE that.

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? - Pessimist.

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? - Shoes, clothes, make-up, hygiene products.

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? - The day my second mother (still don’t like the word ‘stepmom’) died. Basically the year 2012.

92. What superpower would ruin the world? - Immortality.

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? - Drinking alcohol.

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? - That not everything’s what it seems and you have to work hard in order to achieve the things you want. Surround yourself with the right people, the ones you can trust. The Lord Of The Rings and Harry Potter movies, basically.

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? - Currently, I’m in a ‘far-away’ mood. So New Zealand, maybe.

96. How do you approach people? - With a poker-face.

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? - The first impression isn’t what it is. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Or a book you’ve only read 5 pages in.

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? - I went outside a lot, dancing, playing the transverse flute.

99. What languages can you speak? - German, English, Spanish, a bit Italian.

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? - Mind-controlled over social media/phones/computers.

101. What do you do on your lazy days? - Laying in bed, reading.

102. What ended your last relationship? - Disagreements.

103. Favorite food? - I love the potato salat from my grandma.

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? - That my mom and I were trapped inside a cage of lions and the only way she could help me out is that she stays in the cage forever. I dreamed that dream every night when I was a child.

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? - Yesterday.

106. What was the last friendship you broke? - With one of my former best friends/ex-boyfriend.

107. Do you have any pet peeves? - People with bad table manners, noisy eaters, animal cruelty, homophobic people.

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? - My sister’s best friend.

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? - Last Thursday.

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? - My mood changes.

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? - My dad.

112. What is your biggest motivation? - Watching other people succeed.

113. What did you want to be when you were little? - I wanted to be a veterinarian.

114. What are some things that you are good at? - Playing instruments, listening to other people, being funny and I’m also very spontaneous.

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? - Singing.

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? - My phone. 

117. How important is privacy to you? - Very important.

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? - Being nice to everyone when you meet them, no matter what color/gender/sexuality or how the person looks.

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? - I don’t know. I’m not the person who’s telling crazy or big lies.

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? - I don’t attend parties that often, and if so, I wouldn’t be someone to tell a story about myself.

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? - I don’t know.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? - I smiled the whole time, even though I wasn’t really in the mood of smiling.

123. What is your morning routine? - Getting out of bed really slowly, going to the bath, getting dressed and run out of the house because I’m late again.

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? - I helped someone out who couldn’t help themselves.

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? - Help.

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" - I don’t know anything about it, so.

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? - Pros: You can really be honest with everyone, they know you won’t lie to them; Cons: You may hurt some peoples feelings and may loose friends.

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? - Showing someone the direction of life, idk.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? - Both.

130. What do you admire most about your friends? - Their smiles and honesty.

131. What do you admire most about your family? - They are all open-minded.

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" - I personally am not going with the flow. But if it bring’s you joy, go for it.

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? - Both.

134. When is it time to end a friendship? - When you have the feeling it’s not worth it anymore. When you’re distant and not interested in what the person is saying anymore.

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? - That I’m not feeling well. (I always use that excuse.)

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? - GPA doesn’t matter where I live.

137. What are your favorite baby names? - Nick and Merry.

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? - In February in Berlin with @hopedreamssoul.

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? - When a person is constantly interrupting someone.

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs.- Turn ons: Contagious smile, honesty. Cons: Disrespect and racist people.

141. Biggest disappointment. - Myself.

142. Do you have any self-restraint? - Not really.

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? - When I was in Lisbon with my family.

144. Prized possession(s)? - My books.

145. What is your opinion on second chances? - It depends on what the person did to you. I uneasily forgive people.

146. Text or call? - Text.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? - I can’t think of one single thing, well.

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? - GO TO SCHOOL, YOU FUCK!

149. How organized are you? - Really organized.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. - By train.

[waige4life]

personal

I dont really post much about myself on here but i thought you guys might want to know more about me (if not just continue scrolling)

this is just something I had to do for a class anyway so here :)

p.s. number 11 was my favorite to write!

My 20 Journals

1.      What’s not working?           Nothing is working. I have almost no friends and the one friend I do have I barely talk to. I don’t tend to have fun anymore. When I’m not working on school stuff I’m either at work or sleeping. I will occasionally go Pokémoning with my family but this can become tedious and time consuming. My mental health is declining and my physical health isn’t much better.

2.      What lessons are you currently learning?           I am currently learning that plans will always change. I am a very organized person and I like to plan ahead. From planning when I’ll do my homework to planning when I will graduate. When I started thinking about college almost two years ago I wanted to be a Med Evac flight nurse. Now I’m transferring to another college to pursue a degree in nuclear medicine.           Plans change for various reasons. When I was diagnosed with epilepsy my plans changed from coast guard search and rescue medic to flight nurse. When I developed chronic shin splints my plans changed from nurse to nuclear medicine technologist. I always hope this will be the last big change but I know deep down my plans will change again.

3.      What would you like more of in your life?           I would like more time. I need time to spend with my friends, time to earn money, time to study and time to focus on me. Right now my life is a blur. With 19 credits and a goal of bringing my GPA up by 0.14 I have no time. I now only work on Saturdays and I haven’t spent time with friends since the beginning of the semester. I spend time with my family at night when we go Pokémoning but I fear lack of sleep so I can’t make up the lost studying time at night. I need time to finish what I need to do and then I need time to do what I want to do. I need time.

4.      What would you like less of in your life?           I would like less stress. I’m stressed out by school. I’m stressed out by my lack of focus and my lack of friends. I’m always trying to drown out the stress with wandering or browsing Tumblr but then I get more stressed that I’m wasting time by not working on school work. I need to relax but I don’t know how.

5.      What are you procrastinating on? Why?           I’m procrastinating on this class. I procrastinated doing this project because I thought it would be easy. I’m procrastinating taking the exam because I know it will be hard. I need to read the book. I need to watch all the power points. I cannot fail this class.

6.      What do you stand for?           I stand for doing the right thing. I stand for helping people and always being nice. I have been a girl scout all my life and I feel that is a very good description of what I stand for. I know wherever I end up in life I will be doing the right thing. Whether I’m working as a 911 operator or a disaster emergency responder I will always be helping people.

7.      What are your contradictions?           When I was running with the ambulance I was really good at staying clam during calls like cardiac arrests. Now I get overwhelmed very easily at the restaurant. Whether it’s having too many tables or having an unhappy guest I tend to cry on a regular basis. It may sound horrible but cardiac arrests are my favorite calls they are so organized and straight forward, I know what I have to do and I do it well. Whereas at the restaurant you’re just kinda trying your best to make every one happy.

8.      Who are you right now?           Right now I am a student. I am a daughter, a student, a scorpion fan, and a Pokémon Go player, but mostly a student. I am a current student at LCCC and I am a future student at either Indiana University of Pennsylvania or Cedar Crest College. I am member of team mystic on Pokémon go and huge fan of the show scorpion. I am all of these things and more but right now I’m focusing on being a good student.

9.      Who were you? How have you changed in the past years?           I used to be an average student. I used to coast through school. I never studied; I would pay attention in class, do the homework, and then cram for the last five minutes before the test. Now I’m realizing that you cannot pass certain classes without studying.  For most of my classes I still pay attention, do homework, and cram but for certain ones I have started studying.           I studied the models in the tutoring center for both A&P one and two. I also study for nutrition after realizing it was more information than I expected. Finally I study for this class. There is not lecture to pay attention to and the homework doesn’t cover the whole chapter like the mastering homeworks do. I also can’t cram as there are only two tests in the whole class and you can’t cram for nine chapters in five minutes.

10.  What do you secretly yearn for?           Secretly I yearn to be in the military. Most of my dreams and goals are well known as I am a very open person and I don’t hide much. The reason this dream is kept secret is because it is impossible for me. I have epilepsy, chronic shin splints, and a bunch of other medical problems that would keep me from ever passing their medical exam. Somedays I still dream of somehow getting involved as a civilian though.

11.  Describe your ideal day.           Claire and I are at Breinigsville Park on a beautiful spring day. Finals are over and we both don’t have anything on our schedule for the day. We start throwing a softball back and forth, right on the field where we first learned to play. She teaches me hooping tricks and we laugh at all our failed attempts. Early in the afternoon a thunderstorm suddenly pops up over head.           We don’t have time to run back to her house so we decide to sit in the pavilion and watch the beautiful musical Mother Nature has created for us. When the storm passes we head home, both of our parents are there. Our moms are in the dining room chatting over hot chocolate and out dads are in the kitchen just finishing the most wonderful homemade spaghetti. We eat dinner and dessert before we retire to the living room to watch a harry potter movie. After the movie her dad goes to bed, her mom and my parents start playing cards, and Claire and I retire to the family room where we cuddle up in blankets with hot chocolate and talk about our dreams of moving out and getting an apartment together one day.

12.  What are 3 things you are currently – and consistently – doing that don’t serve or support you?           First I am stress eating. I eat way more than I need to and I eat unhealthy choices. Second I’m staring to cut myself off from everyone. I no longer go to church and I will most likely not be able to see my camp family this summer as I will be taking classes during the summer. Third I am not seeking help when I obviously need it. My old coworkers at the ambulance corps and many of my friends have urged me to get some help with my (undiagnosed) anxiety. I’m not doing any of these on purpose but I’m too busy to deal with any of them.

13.  What’s your one word intention for today?           My one word intention for today was focus. I needed to focus on writing these journals and studying for the midterm. On a normal school day though, my one word intention is survive. I need to survive the pain of walking to class and the awkwardness of talking to people. I need to survive this day so I can survive this semester.

14.  What are the little things that leave you beaming from the inside out?           One of my favorite little things is helping people find their way around campus. My daily route from class to class goes right by a campus map and I often see people looking at it. The map doesn’t show room numbers and they can be confusing especially in the science hall. I always ask if I can help and where they’re headed. I’ve been here long enough that I can give them good precise direction and I always walk away smiling.

15.  What are you waiting for?           I am waiting for an acceptance letter from Indiana university of Pennsylvania. IUP is my number one choice right now followed by Cedar Crest College. At IUP I would stay on campus but a Cedar Crest I would need to decide whether I stay at home and save money or move into an apartment with my best friend and start my adult life. I like to make decisions as soon as possible. If I’m not accepted I need to know so I can make other decisions.

16.  How do you want to feel?           Painless, I want to feel painless. I also want to feel satisfied and happy but today my back flared up on top of my constant shin splint pain. My chiropractor went out of business and I haven’t found a new one yet. My back hurts, my neck hurts, my shoulders hurt, and my shins hurt. I envy the day when I can walk to class or sit on a stool for long periods of time without being in pain.

17.  When do you feel vibrant, electric, powerful, most alive?           I feel most alive when I’m in another reality. I love to read books, watch TV , and watch movies whenever I need to destress because they make me feel like I can escape the horribly boring and tedious life and go on an adventure with them. In books I can be a warrior, I can have special powers, I can be in a completely different universe. In TV shows and movies I can be a genius or a wizard. Anything is better than being a boring college student.

18.  How can you incorporate more fun and more play into your life?           I think a good way for me to incorporate more fun into my life would be to start MMA classes. My friend and I went to a woman’s self-defense class last year and became interested in taking MMA classes. We both took a free class and we wanted to sign up but the cost was just too much for a college student. I think I may have saved up enough now and I think it might also help me relieve some stress.

19.  I love…           I love food. It’s actually become a problem lately. I really love to eat and the stuff I love to eat is not the healthy stuff. My healthiest habit is having a banana in my ice-cream. I don’t like many vegetables or fruits so it can be very difficult for me to eat a healthy meal. I’m taking a nutrition class right now and its really opening my eyes to how bad my diet is.

20.  5 things you want out of a relationship.           First I want stability. I need someone I can count on, someone that will always be there. Second I need affection, someone that will love every little quirk about me. Third I need encouragement. I need someone who thinks I can do it and tell me to never give up even when others say I can’t.           Fourth is an outlet. I need someone I can talk to about my family and my friends and everything that’s bothering me. Finally I want a special bond with someone. I want the kind of bond where we can just sit on a couch cuddled up in blanket and just enjoy each other’s presence without any TV or talking. All I want is the perfect personality, I don’t care about looks.

[trendingnewsb]

4 Lazy Character Shortcuts Hollywood Can’t Stop Using

The best movie characters are usually the ones whom we sort of identify with. Whether they’re a simple middle-class teenager or a grizzled Matthew McConaughy playing a nihilistic detective trying to find aliens from the future inside a black hole, they work because when they make decisions, we get it. We learn who they are and understand them. Sometimes, though, writers don’t really have time for that shit. Instead, they use some kind of shorthand which (they hope) will have the same profound effect with far less effort. This usually doesn’t work at all. Particularly when …

4

Sudden Sacrifices Are A Substitute For Heroism

What is more powerful than one human being sacrificing their own life to save others, usually to the accompaniment of an orchestra that sounds like it’s about to parade through the screen? You could probably base a whole religion around it. In the world of Hollywood screenwriting, sacrifices can also be written in not to provide a satisfying end to a character’s arc, but to add instant heroism to a character we barely know.

Read Next

Why We Can't Take Our Eyes Off The Things We Hate

Kong: Skull Island (which I think is a great movie) includes a bunch of dispensable soldier characters who are tailor-made to be ape food. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m a fan of slasher films, so I have an appreciation for characters who only exist to say “Hey, guys, what was that noise?” But then, while under an assault from mutant reptiles, one of the soldiers, Captain Cole, pulls out two grenades and stares down one of the beasts. The rest of the cast does the typical “NO! DON’T DO THIS!” thing, like the audience is expected to. No, don’t do it, guy with literally two personality traits.

The guy’s plan goes awry and he ends up being a bloodstain on the side of a cliff, but that’s beside the point. The point is … well, what is the point? The sacrifice doesn’t add a dimension to his character, nor does it say anything poignant about him. Instead, it just makes him look like he’s very bad at thinking through decisions. You’re stranded on an island with a monster ape and ubiquitous leviathans, and your plan is to waste yourself and two precious grenades with your patented “Stand there and hope” maneuver?

Of course, they also did this with Superman at the end of Batman v Superman, in a Hail Mary effort to give us some reason to care. They did the same in I Am Legend, in which Will Smith sacrifices himself to maybe blow up some of the zombies, which is such a pointless act that the director’s cut has Will Smith not do that.

And remember Chappie, that Black Mirror episode, but with more decapitations? At the end of that, Ninja — played by Ninja of the rap group Die Antwoord — tries to sacrifice himself in dramatic slow motion, as if the movie is under the impression that we liked his character. He just spent two hours cursing and emotionally abusing a childlike robot. Sacrifice away, idiot.

If they want us to care, they need to scroll backward a few dozen pages in the script and write the character as someone we’ll either be sad to see go or happy to see redeemed. Oh, and the character needs to stay dead.

3

Making A Character Suddenly Badass (In A Way That Makes No Sense)

There’s nothing better than when a badass character gets a badass payoff. My boys in the Dragon Ball franchise are constantly training so that when the time comes, they can triumphantly punch holes through people. This is immensely satisfying because you, the viewer, get to anticipate seeing them use their skills. There is build-up. So it’s baffling whenever “badass” characters either get that way out of nowhere, or are assigned badass traits that don’t fit their progression at all, like if The Karate Kid ended with Daniel challenging Johnny to a snowmobile race.

Take Arya Stark in Game Of Thrones. A big point is made that she’s not built for swordplay. Her cranky travel companion Sandor Clegane points out that her tiny frame and flimsy sword is useless in a gritty fantasy universe full of giant men in armor. Thus, she learns how to work with poisons and magic disguises, leading us to believe that she’ll be pulling off some rad espionage tactics to fool bad guys who could crush her skull like an egg. Instead, within a couple of seasons, Arya becomes Jason Bourne Lite, shrugging off stabbings and doing sweet parkour. Later, she faces off in a practice duel with giant sword master Brienne and outmaneuvers her easily, smirking the whole time.

Regardless of the fact that she is never shown acquiring that level of skill, the problem is that this character is now superhuman and is in no way someone you can identify with.

Writers can’t resist this, even when a lack of combat training is the entire point of a character. This happens in the recent Death Wish remake, in which Bruce Willis, a surgeon, suddenly becomes a mix of Jigsaw and Rambo, all because he lost his family … and he’s a surgeon? This movie had a lot of problems, but at the very least, it could’ve made sense. I can’t claim to know what they teach you at medical school, but I sincerely doubt it involves target practice. I mean, not yet, anyway. But they couldn’t think of any other way to have him beat the bad guys.

And look, I love Harry Potter‘s Neville Longbottom, but the whole point of him is that he’s a clumsy, nerdy boob. He continues to be that for the first seven and a half movies, until his arc completes with him … cutting a giant snake’s head off in slow motion with a sword? Why? At no point in the series are we clamoring for Neville to be the guy who decapitates magic serpents. He’s shown as having talents — specifically, using magical plants — but all of that goes out the window because in the end, being a hero only means being great with traditional fighting techniques.

I’m not saying that Neville should’ve been watering the shrubs while Voldemort was attacking, but maybe give us something more in line with his character. He can be cool without being Conan. Hell, Breaking Bad spent its whole run inventing ways for a sickly chemistry teacher to defeat drug lords who are stronger and more well-armed than he is. They didn’t simply make him suddenly good at ninjutsu.

2

Gritty “Realism” Is Conveyed Through Ceaseless Cursing

People curse in real life. They do it in the car, they do it in the bedroom, they do it when they’re in line at Gamestop and GODDAMN, RICHARD, THE TRADE-IN VALUES ARE NOT GONNA BE THAT GOOD NO MATTER HOW MANY “PRO” POINTS YOU HAVE, SO GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT, SHITLIZARD. But since lots of movies are shooting for PG-13 and network TV shows usually try to be family friendly, they have to keep it clean. When creators find themselves without those restrictions, they tend to go hog-wild.

So I get it, prestige TV dramas. You get to put on your HBO/Showtime Big Boy Pants, and you naturally want to curse a lot because Mom and Dad aren’t around to tell you no. But do so many characters absolutely need to do it like they’re auditioning for a Rob Zombie film? For example, the sister character Debra is the heart and soul of Dexter, considering the show reminds you at all times that the titular character lacks a heart and soul. But there are ways to illustrate that she’s deep and troubled other than peppering all of her dialogue with curses that make her sound as if she’s just discovered Urban Dictionary. You know, like actually giving her an important role on the show? That’s just my two cents.

It comes up in Game Of Thrones, which desperately wants to be Definitely Not Lord Of The Rings, and Boardwalk Empire, which desperately wanted to be Definitely Not The Godfather, or Deadwood, which desperately wanted to be Definitely Not Renewed For A Fourth Season. I love you, Deadwood. I live and breathe you, Deadwood. But holy shit, it’s hard to market a cowboy show, much less a cowboy show that constantly plays like a Greek tragedy and includes an errant dropping of “fuck” every six seconds.

Compare that (again) to a show like Breaking Bad, which was only allowed one or two F-words per season. When they come, they actually have impact. When Skyler reveals to Walter that she’s sleeping with her boss, it’s “I fucked Ted.” Not “I’ve been messing around with Ted,” or “I let Ted play on my slippery dulcimer, if ya’ know what I mean.” It’s a gut punch. The fact that, realistically, she’d probably say it that way is just icing on the cake.

Some of you might say that these shows use gratuitous nudity in exactly the same way (that is, because they can), but at least beautiful naked people is a selling point. Who’s out there saying, “Man, I’m not crazy about the plot of that show, but some of the cursing is amazing. It gave me a full erection.”

1

Geeky Characters Are Defined Only By Their Ability To Spout Pop Culture References

A lot of people in the world are geeks. Not me. I only talk about Digimon when I’m drunk. But a lot of people are. And you’d think that since “geeky” interests are so commonplace, we’d get more great geeky characters in pop culture. Characters that we see aspects of ourselves in. Sadly, what we do get are shows like Big Bang Theory, or characters like Steve Urkel from Family Matters, Ross Gellar from Friends, Morgan from Chuck, Noah from the Scream TV show, and about 75 percent of the denizens of Kevin Smith movies. These are characters who don’t make geekiness look fun. Instead, they drag it around like a cross, burdened by their own existence.

I would probably relate to more “geeky” film characters if the writers knew how to identify them as geeks without having them bleat like farm animals about Star Wars or Dungeons & Dragons. Either that or they’re like Spencer from Criminal Minds, who refuses to shut up about how his special, powerful, super computer brain works differently from the average brain. He’s supposed to be likable, but I’ve never met a single likable person who went into detail about how much smarter he or she is than most of the population.

It’s like they’re so afraid that we won’t get it unless they crank it up to cartoonish levels. The “funny” control room employee in Jurassic World wears a Jurassic Park shirt with the original movie’s logo on it. That’s great! It builds his character and it adds to the theme of the movie that you probably shouldn’t recklessly commodify prehistoric beasts. But he then explains why he wears that shirt and how much it costs and how much he loved the first Jurassic Park, and any chance we had of identifying with him goes out the window. If I buy a Spider-Man shirt, I don’t go around the mall asking people about their favorite Doctor Octopus moments; I just wear the shirt.

It’s so strange because you’d assume that most writers are themselves geeks, the ones who have to borrow clothes to attend a red carpet premiere and then are kept far away from the cameras. You have to imagine them toiling away on their sitcom pilot thinking, “Hmmm … what would a geek say in this situation? It’s so hard for a cool, sexy beast like me to put myself in their mindset. I know, I’ll have them suddenly speak Klingon.”

Daniel has a Twitter, which he uses as a platform to yell about Pokemon.

Write your own characters’ longcuts with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more Hollywood hacks, check out Lazy Hollywood Shortcuts, Explained With Diagrams and 22 Movie Cliches That Just Won’t Die.

Following us on Facebook is an instant +12 to Nerd Cred.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-lazy-character-shortcuts-hollywood-cant-stop-using/

from Viral News HQ https://ift.tt/2HMsLeW via Viral News HQ