#and anthony?????? there were so many other people who should’ve won

[theswampghost]

man i really hated this past season of so you think you can dance

[speechlessxx]

Bring Him Light - ii (King!Steve Rogers x Reader)

Chapter Summary: Just as everything began to settle, you discover a bit of truth to the rumors you feared. 

Warnings: Nothing much just really bad writing. Steve’s less bipolar so that’s great. 

Word Count: 3.3k

I finally know where the direction of where I want to take Bring Him Light to. 

Bring Him Light Masterlist

I hope you guys enjoy!

<- Last Part -=+=- Next Part ->

A week has passed since your first meeting with the king. He grew more pleasant the more you two spent time together – perhaps his sour mood was indeed due to the king being overworked. Nevertheless, you still refused to grow attached to the man. There were rumors of his cruelty for a reason. But as the days wore on, your stubbornness was soon relenting, allowing yourself to enjoy his presence despite his mood swings that swayed like a pendulum.

And with your wedding on the horizon, perhaps the bond growing steadily between you and King Steven was a good thing.

The arrow whizzed through the air and landed centimeters away from the red center. You let out a groan as your arms slack in defeat. “I swear I’m much better,” you muttered. You were normally a great shot with your own bow – the bow that the huntsman broke when you fought against him.

The king chuckled as he took the bow from your hands. “I’m sure you are,” he teased. He drew an arrow and aimed for less than a second. When he let it go, it landed right into the center – much to your dismay. “My, I do think I’ve won.”

“You’re so humble.” He chuckled at your words. Your sarcasm was as crisp as the morning air. “But I do believe I have a redemption shot.”

Steven quirked up an eyebrow. “Of course, your highness,” he gave you a cocky smile as you grabbed the bow from him. “If you think you can beat a perfect shot.”

You hummed as you lined up your shot. You took a deep breath as you stared into the target. Your breathing was steady as you aimed. He doubted you could best him. His arrow lodged in the exact center of the target. It was a guaranteed win. Surely –

You let the arrow go and with an audible snap, Steven’s eyes widened in surprise. It was hard to tell from the distance, but it became clear as you both approached the target. “You’ve split my arrow,” he said in disbelief.

“I told you I was great a shot. Did you not believe me?” He sputtered excuses and you felt a rush of pride as a smirk found its way onto your face. “My, I do believe that I have won, your grace.”

“I concur,” he chuckled. “Took you some time to adjust to the bow, though. Perhaps, we should’ve played at even stakes from the beginning. Shall we ask a servant to fetch for your bow?”

You gave him a sad smile and shook your head. “I’m afraid I did not travel with my bow.”

“Why not?”

“Thor, the huntsman, who gave me these,” you lifted your wrists as you alluded to the cuts that were now mostly healed, “snapped my bow.”

“You never did tell me why you were fighting with Thor.”

“Perhaps it’s a story that should be told another day,” a voice called out. Lord Alexander Pierce, one of the lords of Steven’s council, bowed to you and his king. You quickly noticed Steven’s sudden change in demeanor. His smile had been abandoned as his brows furrowed and his stare hardened. You weren’t a fool. You knew that the Lords Pierce and Rumlow were almost always the cause of his aggravation. “Your grace, I’ve come to collect you. Lord Rumlow and I request a meeting with the council.”

“Has Lord Barnes and Lord Wilson been informed?”

“Yes, your grace. We are all waiting on you.”

“Can’t it wait,” you frowned. Steven glanced over at you in surprise. Ladies normally hold their tongue in the presence of the nobles. Some would’ve called your outburst impolite, but King Steven found it amusing. “The king and I were enjoying our time together before you arrived.”

“I’m afraid it cannot.” Lord Pierce simply stared through you. How dare a woman speak in that tone to me, he thought though he knew better than to snipe at his future queen – especially in front of the king.

Steven let out a sigh through his nose as his jaw clenched up in frustration. What the hell did Rumlow and Pierce want now? “I will join you later for a rematch.” He told you but you shook your head.

“I will be at one of the eastern villages later today,” you said. “I was told there was a fire last night and I wanted to provide any aid I could.”

“Of course,” Steven nodded. “When I’m released, I will join you.”

“I would love that, your grace,” you nodded and curtseyed to him and walked off.

Lord Pierce sent a glare your way and as soon as you were out of earshot he said, “is everyone in that family horrendously outspoken?”

“Amusingly so, Lord Pierce.”

“»————-　⚜　————-««

“I do not see the problem,” Steven said, squinting his eyes the two men. Lord Rumlow let out a sigh of frustration as he looked to Lord Pierce to further the argument.

“We have reason to believe that your future bride may be conspiring against you. How simpler can it get?” Lord Pierce snapped. The older man was visibly annoyed. The wrinkles around his brows and forehead visible with his frown. The king didn’t appreciate the man’s tone. “She has you galivanting in your gardens with her, playing a game with arrows. She’s keeping you from your duties.”

“Was it not you who said that the wedding should be postponed?” James scoffed.  

“Besides… she is not a distraction. We’re simply getting acquainted with one another. I do not want to marry a stranger. Not again.” The king said. He looked at the painting that hung near the door. He remembered painting that portrait of Queen Margaret, his first wife.

“The Starks cannot be trusted.” Lord Pierce added. “Not long ago, we were at war with them! Now, you trust that Anthony Stark has sent over his own daughter willingly?”

“I trust Tony.” Steven nodded. He did. Despite the disarray that plagued the north three years ago, he did trust the other king. “And his daughter has not given me any reason to doubt the Starks. She’s lovely company. Perhaps, you’re just upset that she doesn’t scare easily.” Lord Wilson and Barnes chuckled at this. Alexander Pierce took pride in his ability to bend others to his will by striking fear in their hearts – something you seemed impervious to.

“I believe we can save ourselves from King Thanos entirely.” Lord Pierce suggested. The five men fell into silence as Lord Pierce smirked, knowing he finally had their attention. “Marrying the Stark girl may unite the North, but why should we stop at just the north. Of course, but what if you marry King Thanos’s eldest daughter – the Princess Gamora. You would spare Brooken from Thanos’s wrath.”

“But that would not mean that Brooken is free from the Mad King’s tyranny! He would want Brooken as his own.” James interjected.

Steven agreed. “His daughter would slit my throat in my sleep so that my kingdom falls in her father’s hands. I will not have it.”

“Cousin, I ask that you entertain the idea,” Brock spoke. The King narrowed his eyes at his cousin as if to say as if you aren’t entertaining that idea yourself. “Acknowledge the threat and align yourself with Thanos.”

“I will not hear of this ever again.” Steven snapped. “Do you understand – all of you?” A chorus of agreement – though Brock and Alexander’s tones were not happy. “I will marry (Y/N) Stark in a week. Our marriage will unite the northern kingdoms. Unity is what we all need. Standing together with York – with the Starks – that union will help us prevail in any war.”

Alexander Pierce had been a friend to King Steven’s father. Though, Steven did not know why his father befriended the man. He found Pierce rather insufferable – always pushing an agenda that he says will “better” Brooken but in truth, only benefits himself.

It was Alexander Pierce who set up the betrothal between Queen Sharon and the king. The two had known each other for less than a day before they were wed. The marriage had not been successful for many reasons. Wanting to avoid another failed marriage – and already distrusting Alexander Pierce’s judgement – the king chose his own bride: you.

The brief meeting was adjourned. The king and his two friends hurried off to meet with you and your ladies in the village, leaving Brock and Alexander murmuring to themselves.

“That was our one opportunity. He will not hear of if again. I know my cousin. His mind is already made.” Brock muttered. “I do not see how he was made king. He’s boneless, the self-righteous arse.”

Alexander chuckled. “Oh, Rumlow, your cousin has indeed made a fine king. He’s lead Brooken to victory on the battlefield so many times. Smart one, too. He’s evaded our attempts too many times now. He’s even decided to choose his own bride instead of listening to my council. His intuition has always been on his side.”

“We cannot turn him against Stark. We cannot get him to ally with Thanos.”

“Indeed… but perhaps, we can turn his own queen against him. She must’ve already heard the rumors if not in York but here. She just needs a push.”

“»————-　⚜　————-««

When the king arrived, he had not expected the damage. The building had been burnt down. The burnt scent still hung in the air. The crowds that gathered welcomed him, bowing to their monarch.

“Your grace,” Lord Barnes muttered, getting his attention. Though the king searched for you in the crowds, he nodded to Lord Barnes to show his friend that he was listening. “This may be the first time the people see you and their future queen interact. It’s imperative to give a good impression.”

“Of course,” Steven nodded. He spotted a fiery haired woman cut through the crowds and recognizing her immediately. “Lady Natasha!” The woman stopped in her tracks as the king stalked towards her. She bowed to him and threw Lord Barnes a small smile, one he gladly returned. “Where’s (Y/N)?”

Before the red head could respond, your voice rang out throughout the crowd. Steven’s head snapped in its direction to catch a glimpse of you surrounded by villagers. You were handing out various food items to his people. They were the leftovers from the feast the castle had a few nights ago.

He cracked a smile at the sight. Lord Barnes clasped his shoulder. “She will make a fine queen to your people, Steve,” he muttered under his breath.

“Indeed.” Steve felt a sense of pride in seeing you. All you were missing was a crown on your head. His heart raced at the thought. It’s only been a week and you’ve already had such an effect on the man. He stalked towards you with a smile. “Your highness, may I be of assistance?”

You smiled at him as you glanced over to the cart of food behind you. He nodded and stood with you as the both of you gave out the food to the poor. It was safe to assume his people loved you.

“We shall thank Princess (Y/N) of York for her generosity!” the king announced to the people who cheered in response. “Thank you for feeding my people, my love.” Your heart fluttered at hearing those words. You scolded yourself for the feeling. You were not to fall so quickly for the king you barely just met. In turn, Steven wasn’t sure if his words were just for show or genuine, but he was certain that you at his side would be a great addition to his reign – not to mention, he liked having you around altogether.

He snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, inhaling your scent. The smell of rose petals strong in your hair. You laughed as your hand rested on his chest as the people cheered for you both. You have definitely made a wonderful impression.

His loving stare did not go unnoticed by his friends, your ladies, and the people. This was their feature. This was Brooken’s future.

And it seemed bright.

“»————-　⚜　————-««

“I told you he’s not as bad as the rumors made him out to be,” Wanda remarked as she brushed through your hair. The water from your bath left your hair damp while your lady tried to unravel the knots.

“You two have become quite close in our short time here.” Natasha added. “It’s the early morning excursions about the property, isn’t it?”

“He’s different than I assumed, yes,” you agreed with a smile. “However, he does have his moments. I think he’s restrained himself because of our first meeting.”

“Your wounds have healed quite well.” Natasha said, taking your wrist and examining it. The wrist that Steven had grabbed was still scabbing over. The other had healed almost completely, leaving light pink scars around your wrist. “I’m sure King Steven has shown his apologies for this.”

“He’s quite cocky,” you thought aloud. “Though what man isn’t. He is a king after all. His confidence is well placed. He nearly beat me this morning in archery. Though, I split his arrow, winning the game.”

“I’ve never heard of a split arrow?” Wanda asked, furrowing her brows in confusion.

“It’s quite rare, I believe.” Natasha explained. “Your shot must’ve been well aimed, your highness.”

“It was.” You smirked.

“Perhaps cockiness is just a trait that all monarchs eventually develop,” Wanda chided. You three laughed. “I cannot wait until the wedding. The dress you wear will be divine.”

“I wish we could push back the wedding even further,” you confessed. You rubbed at the healing wrist nervously as you remembered about the wedding. It would occur in less than a week. You would be queen of Brooken in less than a week – Steven’s wife in less than a week. “The king and I… We may get along now, but we are still strangers. I’m afraid that this may all be an act – his kindness and his charm. He may still be the monster that I fear the rumors make him out to be.”

Natasha tsked at you as she took your hands in hers. She remembered the stare he had on you when he saw you in the village. His eyes had shined – something the portraits never showed. The glint of a promising future – a loving husband and a great king. “He looks as if he was already in love with you.” Wanda nodded in agreement. You groaned, pulling your wrists from hers. “Why am I the only one concerned about our safety?”

“Because he has not given you any reason to be concerned.” Natasha said. You lifted your scabbed wrist with your brows raised.

Before she could rebut, there was a knock on the door. “Come in!” You called.

Ser Pietro opened the door and Lord Barnes walked in. Natasha suddenly stood and straightened out her dress. He bowed to you and nodded to your ladies. His stare lingered on Natasha for a few seconds longer before turning to you.

“King Steven has asked me to deliver a gift,” he smiled. He handed you a box and you cautiously took.

Was this someone’s head? No… There was no one that you could think that the king would have reason to behead. You laid the box on your bed and slowly lifted the lid. A surprised gasp left your lips as you stared at the bow. It was strikingly similar to your own.

“It’s beautiful,” you murmured. A note had been placed inside.

Dearest (Y/N),

Upon hearing of your broken bow this morning and reached out to the huntsman. He has a remarkable memory and gave me a detailed description of it. I had one of my talented men in the weaponry recreate it from what the huntsman could recall. It may not perfect or even what you expected, but I do hope that you will enjoy your new bow as I have enjoyed our time together.  

With much love,

Steven.

“Give the king my gratitude, my lord,” you smiled at Lord Barnes who nodded.

“Your presence at court has brought much joy to my king, to my friend.” He said. James glanced over at Natasha once more before leaving. You made a note to ask her about it later.

Wanda took the box as the ladies helped you into bed. Natasha smirked at you as if to say see? Nothing to worry about.

That night, you tossed and turned but was unable to lull yourself to sleep. You kept thinking about the bow and about the kind words in his letter. Perhaps he wasn’t as horrible after all?

Frustrated, you decided to wander about the castle in an effort to tire yourself out. With a candlestand in one hand and your robe wrapped tightly around you, you went off on your adventure.

The castle was different at night. The moonlight illuminated the corridors and left an eerie feeling in your gut. The shadows that casted upon the walls looked as if they were creatures of the night and every turn you made had you jolt in fear.

You heard faint whispers near a staircase that only went down. From your tour, you vaguely remember that this was the pathway to the dungeons underneath the grounds. You had no intention of walking down those steps until you heard a familiar voice riddled with anger. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin upon realization. It was Steven’s voice.

You crept down the stairs, careful not to make a sound. Since Brooken did many things differently than York, you weren’t sure what would condemn someone to the prison. Theft? Perhaps, murder?

“Admit it,” Steven’s voice grew louder the closer you approached. You kept yourself hidden, diminishing your candle’s fire so that you would not be seen. There was a groan in response. There were several groans throughout the prison.

“Water… Please, sire,” someone begged. “We know nothing.”

“Do not lie to your king!” Another voice snapped. It was James’s.

Steven sighed. “We know the truth, but we need a confession. I will grant you freedom if you confess.” You frowned. In York, those sent to prison were given a trial before the king and the nobles of the court. It would be made known what the offense was, and the council would decide the punishment accordingly. But it seemed as if Brooken dealt with their legal affairs privately.

“I will not speak out.” The hoarse voice responded. “I will be loyal until my last dying breath.”

You heard shuffling as King Steven approached the prisoner. “Death I can arrange.” His tone was even but his threat was a promise. His rage radiated and you felt it from your hidden position. “But if you confess now, I can grant you freedom.”

“No.”

An exasperated sigh left the king. “Very well. Pull out each and every one of his teeth until he confesses.” You weren’t sure who the order was for – Lord Barnes? Was there another man there? “If he doesn’t, stretch him until his joints dislocate. Pop them into place then repeat until he confesses because I will have a confession.”

“And if he dies, your grace?”

“Turn his body to ash.” There was no remorse in his voice. There were groans of protest and begging, but the king had already made up his mind.

There were murmurs between the two men – Lord Barnes and the king – but you didn’t pay it much mind. You heard all you needed to. You rushed up the staircase and ran to your room, not caring about the maids and knights who saw you.

You slammed the door shut and ran your hand through your hair. What the hell did you just hear?

The king slowly made his way out of the prison, but suddenly stopped. He stared at the spot you were standing at minutes ago. There was a scent – one that was very different from the putrid smells of the dungeons.

A woman’s scent.

Roses.  

[the-littlefangirl]

TFATWS episode 2 rewatch commentary

We should've guessed John Walker was going to be an asshole the moment it was revealed he played football in high school

That remix of star spangled man is my villain origin story JEEEEEEESUS i want to punch something

They literally mass produced a Walker action figure in two weeks what the fuck

"Your new Captain America" GAAAAAAAAAAh * angry noises *

"For those who aren't familiar with John's resume" thank you GMA lady

My face during that whole speech: wtf and indignation intensify

Bucky's face: yep same.

Imagine being Sam and everywhere you go you're seeing your one (1) mistake spit in your face overandoverandover again that's g r e a t

Tbh that sambucky reunion was anticlimatic as fuck but i actually liked that, it was like WELL HERE WE GO AGAIN they can’t look at each other for 5 seconds before they need to start bickering

"You think it didn't break my heart" SAM SWEETIE

YeAH TELL HIM SAM

The way I know this clip by heart help me. It's still hilarious but it's even better now that I know that they literally just met and they're already bickering can you PLEASE stop you children

T H E  B I G  T H R E E

Spoiler it was a thing

Love how nonchalant Joaquín is about this entire situation lmao

"You sure about that"

*Fakes smiles* yeah, * screams *

Congrats at least you didn't rip your arm off this time that's what I call progress

is he… is he wearing high wasted skinny (jeans) combat pants?

Redwing i'm sorry for what's about to happen :(

"Look at you all stealthy" PLEASE

"it's white wolf, actually" n e r d

SAM MATERIALIZING OUT OF THIN AIR SAFHAJSFHA this is the second time that happened it’s so funny

H E LLO H O W A R E Y O U?

GOOD! WHAT DID I MISS! NOTHING

They're literally 5 CHILDREN CHILDREN PLEASE STOP

AND I CAN FLY WHO GIVES A SHIT fsdjhfadjkfh

L e t  m  e   s e e

Four

Yeah

Five!

YeaH

“So they're strong. W h a t e v e r”

SFHJDASKFA we're superheroes ma'am vibes

3 supersoldiers what could possibly go wrong

REDWING MY BELOVED FAREWELL

"I always wanted to do that" *gets punched in the face* you deserved that

YEAH BABEE look at those wings

Why do the knockoff duo have a special handshake jesus fucking christ i hate them

“SAM JOHN WALKER CAPTAIN AMERICA” Sam: *Glares harder*

Sam is having a very shitty day

So are we going to ignore that Bucky did t h e  t h i n g with the shield? Ok? Ok.

You can't tell me he wasn't thinking of just grabbing it like a toy and not returning it in the middle of the fight sfj

LOOK AT THOSE W I N G S

*whispers* t h e e arm thing

*Stares at the wall* I CAN'T WITH THAT SEQUENCE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEJSFHJASFAH PLEASE they didn't have to go that far with the grunting noises PLEASE

John Walker getting his ass served is something that can be so personal<3

Also, I like that they've now established that he CAN lose a fight, which makes me wonder if he's also going to use his political influence as leverage against sam and bucky once he goes berserk

"It's one of the big three" "Aliens, androids or wizards" "pretty sure" lmao yeah I don't think that's the vindication Sam was looking for

"Look, I've done the work, okay" SHUT THE FUUUUUUCK UP

"You ever jump on top of a grenade" bucky finding out about it in the middle of a briefing during the war fic trope intensifies

"It's a reinforced helmet" well you're fucking losing the point there then you naive clown

Captain "Kind of the government" America??? NOPE NOPE GOODBYE N O P E NOOOOOOOOOOOPE

"Usually said by the people with the resources" daaamn

“I'm Battlestar. John's partner" A clown that’s what you are

Bucky: YES I'VE REACHED MY LIMIT STOP THE FUCKING CAR

"It'd be a whole lot easier if I had Cap's wingmen on my side" FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUU

"It's always that last line" yeP

Erin Kellyman is??? So pretty???

"The GRC care more about the people who came back than the ones who never left" love how they keep putting those random bits since otherwise their position sounds??? Extremely reasonable?? BUT THEY ARE V I O L E N T  R E V O L U T I O N E R S fuck off

"Let's take the shield, Sam" oh you BET he's been spiraling thinking about 3224 strategies on how to steal the shield during that flight

Sharon name drop:)

YES I KNOW YOU WERE ON THE RUN FOR TWO YEARS I'D REALLY HAVE WANTED TO SEE MORE OF IT JFC @marvel i hate you so much

The whole Baltimore sequence * chef's kiss *

ELI SWEETIE

Friendly reminder that Isaiah Bradley won a fight against the Winter Soldier. Proceed.

"I'm not a killer anymore" bucky sweetie

"You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be" OOOOF

Carl Lumbly's acting f u c k

"How could nobody bring him up" SAM SWEETIE

I'm going to go ballistic now excuse me:))

This whole scene is so well written jesus fucking christ

Have you praised Anthony Mackie's performance today?

Twitter is this clear enough for you?????

Tbh i'm actually surprised marvel allow them to go there even if the situation didn't escalate.

They put the tiiiiniest handcuffs on bucky lmfao

How many more "bucky"s from Walker's mouth until someone punches him?

"He's too valuable of an asset to have tied up" YEAH BEEP BEEP ALARMS GOING OFF RIGHT THE FUCK NOW UHM THOSE WERE SOME… WORD CHOICES… THAT WERE USED… fuck you Walker

"It's something I use with couples" oh coME ON

SFHAJSDFH this is ridiculous i love it

Malcolm Spellman: * agressively takes notes on Stackie's interviews *

SOUL-GAZING EXERCISE LMFAO

THEY'RE SO STUPID I HATE THEM

Sambucky: *chaotic leg positioning*

Dr Raynor: WOW ALL RIGHT

I love that the staring contest thing is the conclusion of the bucky staring joke lmao

AND DON'T SAY SOMETHING CHILDISH

this is literally not about you bucky

"Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right?" YEAH!!!! 

Why is everyone, on the show and outside of it too, acting as if Sam made that decision of out the blue and didn't think about it for six months straight, and look what happened! He got fucking played! He's feeling enough remorse as it is jfc

"Thanks Doc for making it weird I feel much better" LMFAO

Oh you KNOW that the shoulder clap is going to come back unironically and it's going to be soft as fuck

"I feel better" "I feel awful" props for the honesty boys!

"It wouldn't make sense to work with you" more like you're the fucking government's lap dog and we wouldn't touch that with a twelve feet long pole. Let's fucking go Sam let's fucking go

10/10 building of Walker actually being a fucking asSHOLE

The Power Broker name drop!

Yes Bucky SHOULD beat the SHIT out of Zemo. As a treat.

"We're going to go see Zemo" *CLASSICAL MUSIC STARTS BLASTING IN THE BACKGROUND*

Oh I love that last bird eye's shot at the end of the scene

Overall thoughts: This episode was MUCH MUCH better on second viewing. I do think it’s a little bit too fast paced so a lot of things keep happening and there’s not enough time to process them in between?? Again the best moments are the quiet ones like the flight back and the Baltimore scene, but mad props to everyone from jumping between comedy and drama so fucking well. Even though there are, in tone, some very opposite atmospheres in the episode it never feels chaotic, and the situations that happen are very well connected and don’t feel disjointed at all.

The highlight of the episode was definitely the two different ways Sam and Bucky are (avoiding) grieving over Steve, and how his legacy hangs between them at all times. It makes so much sense for Bucky to take the entire situation so personally because Steve was the One thing he knew he could trust, while Sam is trying to see the bigger picture and not just what Steve demanded of him.

Hope that makes sense!

[stinky-and-the-pain]

& then there was one

my parents finished renovating our house my freshman year of high school. i was 14 and finally had my own room...a place i didn’t have to share with my 11 year old brother or my 3 year old sister. i painted it green & a couple of months later painted a tree on one wall and filled the branches with lord of the rings quotes. it was my sanctuary. 

my grandma gifted me my first laptop around the same time. she won it in a company sweepstakes and gave it to me because she had one already. it was the coolest thing. we had a family computer in the office (nee playroom) that i had played both sims 2 and 3 on. but now i could take the sims to my room! 

amongst other things. 

i played skyrim religiously after my brother got bored of the xbox, as he was also gifted a playstation 4 along with GTA V. i also adored several creators on youtube, at that time a bastion of comedic skits and random tangential clips lasting no more than 6 minutes or so. i felt deeply invested in the community -- not so much with fellow audience members but with the youtubers themselves; as if these videos were a two-way conversation. shane dawson led to desandnate led to smosh led to kalel cullen led tobuscus led to pewdiepie led to cryaotic, etc., etc. they were great! 

forget the boy bands of the 90s and early 2000s....which youtuber did you want to date? SMASH + fuck, marry, kill in the back of the chilly and damp bus driving home from a scholastic bowl meet. my heart ached for these people. they appealed so deeply to me and i fell madly in love with them all. and i wasn’t alone; we all fell in love. 

i’m not sure how i found out about omegle. at a slumber party or birthday, someone pulled out their laptop & we could see and chat with strangers. live. no supervision. we were...14? 15? had to be 14 because i succinctly remember laughing a while later when i told a grown man i wasn’t 18 but actually 14 after he had finished for me. all while sitting in my new green bedroom. 

for the longest damn time i thought i had an extremely average adolescence. i was lauded as independent and mature, and took pride in that. maturity meant i was better but also inherently prepared for what life was throwing at me. plus independence meant that i could effectively do whatever i pleased. and to that extent, i never attended a party (though i did sneak over to a boy’s house when i said i was going to a friends’ but that was later figured out and actually excused) but i pursued other exploits. 

another piece of the puzzle is that youtube around 2010 appealed to people exactly my age. and was simultaneously extremely sexual. the mass cancellation of shane dawson is ultimately rooted in his behavior around this time. and this behavior was broadcast to us, 12-14 years old, which signaled to us what could be deemed appropriate. queue me believing that men around the ages of 19-25 could find me, a barely there 14 year old, attractive. and boy did i run with that. 

i spent immeasurable time on omegle. it was thrilling, especially when men’s faces would light up as my video appeared. “finally, a real person and not just a dick!” i remember one, zach herzog (sp?). he was so kind, introducing me to imgur which rounded out my early internet diet. he had a girlfriend but at one point admitted to me that she was not as pretty as i was. we would message on kik for hours. he graduated college a year after we met (my junior year of high school). jake was around that time too. but honestly jake was special in that we met through omegle chat (no video). and we actually chatted for about 3 years, at one time making sure to watch the weekly game of thrones episode (freshly downloaded off pirate bay) together and discussing what went down afterwards. after we skyped with video on, we slowly stopped communicating. 

another, stephen i believe. he was from the UK and i only remember that because of his accent and that i had him say my (fake) name multiple times. i never once used my real name nor talked aloud to these men. always text. but does that matter? over skype, he would send videos of himself jacking off...which would have been pleasant save for the fact he liked smacking his penis near the end and i couldn’t take that seriously. 

the first man i reciprocated for -- that is, i obliged requests to show parts of my body -- was sam. i don’t remember anything too striking about him save he did his business to me while we were still on omegle (only strange because the fashion then was to move to somewhere more ‘private’ and stable like kik or skype) and then promptly ghosted me. somewhere in my hs junior year planner, there are notes to sam asking him if he would ever come back. 

then senior year. so stressed with college applications (i applied to one school) i spent most of my time in my bedroom alone, indulging in a healthy diet of top gear and youtube, by this point dominated by cryaotic and pewdiepie. but i always had time for my dear favorite, capndesdes (of desandnate fame who later made his own solo channel where he published several q&a’s and apartment vlogs). october 2013 and i was wearing his blue ‘crescent moon face’ shirt (referencing the photo booth video). i met Anthony, Mike, and David on omegle. i immediately picked out Anthony and sure enough he was interested. him being in a group, i knew we wouldn’t be doing anything that night but the video chat was fun. the connection even died at one point but we got back in contact as i had shared my twitter (and my real name, though for months he believed my fake name was my middle name because i felt bad telling the truth). i guess i should’ve known this time was different when he insisted on skying the next morning before i went to work. i felt embarrassed for how i looked but he said i looked beautiful. and was so earnest i had to believe him. 

we skyped everyday. every day. essentially right as i got home from school because that’s conveniently when he got off work. oh and i eventually had to admit that my microphone was not in fact broken. we played minecraft and gta on the xbox. he said he planned to visit me one day. but that’s absurd, right? i would laugh and say ‘you’re too much.’

he visited november 9 2013. drove all the way up. i was at my friend’s birthday party. we had just woken up and he revealed he was in our town. i gave him directions to the park so we could meet. i remember running to him from my car, friends sitting in the back seat. we walked about two miles around the park, chatting. he was even more beautiful in person. the sight of the freckles on his nose are still so vivid. even after all these years remembering, my naiveté still strikes me. a day later, he asked me to be my girlfriend as we walked to his car after dinner. i said yes, that i would do him the honor of making him the happiest man on earth. a day later, he took (but i also gave) away my virginity. he met my friends and then we said goodbye on a rainy and cold afternoon. i still sometimes smell the sweet mustiness of that room. 

a handful of memories that are still striking after 7 years:

washing the strawberry lube off myself in my parent’s bathroom, praying they did not ask why i had spent the last 5 afternoons and evenings staying so late at a friend’s house; forcing myself to connect to Lorde’s music after he said he enjoyed her first album; saying that thin mints were my favorite after he admitted to buying too many; taking my adventure time backpack to the hotel room and filling out my cheatsheet for my physics test the next day while he watched and eventually rolled me over to kiss me; feeling too insecure to lead him around town so instead opted to stay silent as he chose what to have for dinner; eating at my favorite local mexican restaurant after losing my virginity; showing my friends the pictures we had taken in the hotel room and them losing their minds. 

after he left, i was devastated. and essentially remained devastated for the next 7 months. i cried the morning after he left, while driving to work and listening to ribs. 

there’ll be more, when i have strength. 

[bongaboi]

Washington Nationals: 2019 World Series Champions

HOUSTON -- Down Howie Kendrick reached and off it went. Carrying far, slicing right, pinging the yellow-coated steel screen of the foul pole in right field. The Washington Nationals were trailing until they weren’t. They were, true to form, down but not done.

The late-May misfits and National League Wild Card Game winners roundly expected to be a quick October exit had, with one swing of the bat from the 36-year-old Kendrick, taken the lead they would not relinquish in a 6-2 victory in Game 7 of the World Series against the Astros on Wednesday night at Minute Maid Park. They claimed their franchise’s first crown and completed a clean sweep for the road clubs in a first-of-its-kind Fall Classic.

“I feel like everybody was rooting for [Houston] and we were kind of the underdog in this Series,” Kendrick said. “But it goes to show that you can’t ever count anybody out.”

Stephen Strasburg, who was the winning pitcher in Game 2 and Game 6 while posting a 2.51 ERA, was named the Willie Mays World Series Most Valuable Player presented by Chevrolet.

From 19 wins on May 23 to ’19 champs on Oct. 30. That’s the story of a Nationals team that played five elimination games, trailed in all of them and won all of them.

They survived and thrived with “Los Viejos” (“The Old Ones”) like Kendrick and an unmistakable affinity for the unexpected ... and for "Baby Shark." They came back to break the heart of the Brewers in the late innings of the NL Wild Card Game. They dispatched the mighty 106-win Dodgers in the NL Division Series behind Kendrick’s Game 5-changing grand slam. They silenced the sizzling Cardinals in an NL Championship Series sweep. And after squandering a 2-0 lead in this best-of-seven Fall Classic and returning to Minute Maid Park on the brink of elimination, they summoned the stamina for one last exclamation-earning effort.

“I believe in these guys,” Nationals manager Dave Martinez said. “They believe in each other. And the biggest thing for us is, never quit. We know that. We were 19-31. We didn’t quit then. We weren’t gonna quit now.”

History was made here on many fronts.

Washington, D.C., has its first World Series championship since the 1924 Senators. Kendrick joined the Pirates’ Hal Smith ('60) as the only players to hit a go-ahead homer in the seventh inning or later while their team was trailing in a World Series winner-take-all game. Kendrick is also the fourth-oldest player to go deep in a Game 7. The Nats became the first team to win the Series with four road victories.

“All the road teams winning,” said Astros starter Zack Greinke, “doesn’t seem normal.”

So why would the anticipated Game 7 pitchers' duel be normal?

Max Scherzer, making his cortisone-aided comeback from the debilitating neck injury that had made him a no-go for Sunday night's Game 5, didn’t have his typical movement or mastery. He induced just 11 swinging strikes among his 103 pitches in five innings. A viewer only able to tune in every 20 minutes or so would be forgiven for thinking that the Astros had somehow been given permission to begin every inning with two aboard.

And yet, through four innings, the eight baserunners against Scherzer had resulted in just a single run -- Yuli Gurriel's laser beam to the Crawford Boxes for a homer that put the Astros up, 1-0, in the second.

“We put a lot of heat on him,” Astros manager AJ Hinch said of Scherzer. “We made him work. He had almost 20 pitches an inning. We had guys on base. We hit the ball hard. We didn't chase that much. There was a lot of good that we -- almost similar to how we were in Game 1 against him where we just made him earn every out that he got.”

Despite the traffic, despite the tightropes Scherzer kept stringing up for himself, Martinez abstained from having anybody warming in his bullpen. It was Max effort all the way.

“We stay in to fight,” Scherzer said. “That was our motto. We stay in and fight. That’s what I did.”

Greinke, meanwhile, put on a pitching clinic with his awesome arsenal of offspeed stuff. The Nats’ swings included so many “excuse me’s” you would think they were walking through a crowd. The weak contact was such that Greinke, an athletic and gifted defender, had four assists in the first four innings alone.

Slight separation, which doubles as seismic separation on a stage like this, arrived in the fifth, when the Astros finally got a rip with runners in scoring position. It came with -- again -- two aboard and two outs, as Carlos Correa smacked a one-hopper down the third-base line. Anthony Rendon, one of MLB’s most outstanding occupants of the hot corner, dived for the ball, but it kicked off the edge of his outstretched glove and into foul territory, allowing Gurriel to score from second on the single.

By then, Martinez had Patrick Corbin warming, and he went on to replace Scherzer, whose effort was worthy of applause no matter the end result, in what turned out to be a scoreless sixth.

Greinke, on the other hand, lasted into the seventh. But it proved a step too far. His third trip through the lineup hit a stumble when Rendon, the Houston native coming off a five-RBI effort in Game 6 on Tuesday night, smacked a solo shot to left to get the Nats on the board, 2-1. Then Greinke issued a walk to Juan Soto, and his night was done.

Though Gerrit Cole had warmed earlier, Hinch, in that moment, went to his most trusted relief weapon, Will Harris.

“Kendrick and [Asdrúbal] Cabrera was where I had really focused on Will Harris at that point,” Hinch said. “Will has been tremendous for us. I knew I had [Roberto] Osuna, I knew I had Gerrit if need be. Will coming in to spin the breaking ball [is what I wanted].”

Harris got ahead of Kendrick with a first-pitch strike. But his second offering was a 90.6 mph cutter down and away, and Kendrick got bat to ball for the new signature swat of his club��s epic October run and an instantly iconic MLB moment.

“This guy [Harris] punched out Howie at home, screamed and stared in our dugout, and Howie never forgot that,” Nats catcher Kurt Suzuki said. “I said, ‘Boys, Howie remembers this, just watch.’ And then he ends up going oppo right there. You couldn’t have scripted it any better.”

As Corbin kept delivering big outs in relief, the Nats kept adding insurance. They got a run in the eighth when Adam Eaton walked, swiped second and scored on Soto’s single off Osuna. They got two in the ninth when they loaded the bases and Eaton truly broke the game open with a ground-ball single up the middle that was booted by center fielder Jake Marisnick.

And Daniel Hudson's 1-2-3 bottom of the ninth, punctuated by a swinging strikeout of Michael Brantley, completed the capital thrill.

In five short months, the Nationals upended the baseball universe. At the start of the season, they had lost their franchise face, Bryce Harper, to free agency, and they were well south of .500 at a point when evaluations intensify.

But they bonded and bettered and broke through, hellbent on ending their past postseason pitfalls. The result was as original and inspiring an October run as the game could conjure. And an ecstatic ending deep in the heart of Texas.

“We stuck together,” Rendon said. “We had nothing else to lose. We were facing elimination games when people never thought we should’ve been there in the first place, and we just kept on fighting, and we finished on top.”

Anthony Castrovince has been a reporter for MLB.com since 2004. Read his columns and follow him on Twitter at @Castrovince.

[abthepoet]

All my friends are dead.

Something strange is trending in my life.

All my friends die.

At the beginning of my sophmore year in college, my roommate from freshman year died tragically in a single vehicle car crash. Her name was Allison Lynam. We called her Blake. She was sassy and funny and I wish I would've taken more time to know her.

The rain was torrential the night she died. I swear I've never seen it rain that hard ever again in my life. She drove to the store along Highway 36 in Long Branch,NJ. She had off campus housing that year and had to use the highway often. The road was terribly flooded the night she died. Im told she hydroplaned, spun, and T-boned the driver side smack into an electrical pole. Her family still decorates it.

At that very same moment, in my dorm room nearby, I was watching TV when the lights suddenly flickered and dimmed. A brown out.

I had no idea but that was my friend crashing into a pole and dying. She was 19 years old.

I know this because that accident happened near the mall. That accident killed the power to nearby businesses.

I later found out that the road she died on was so badly flooded, the police intended to close it. Why they didnt get to it in time, I'll never know. Maybe that's fate.

Then there was Jessica Blain. Jessica Blain was a firecracker of a human being. She was 100% unmistakable. One of the loudest, funniest, most loyal people and friends I have ever met. She was also an incredibly gifted singer and I was lucky enough to have Chorus with her. We, along with a small group of friends, founded a new greek organization on our campus, Alpha Xi Delta. We were paired up as Twins. (you can't have Bigs & Littles when you're just starting the Family Tree). We named the family we formed Fuck Up Your Shit. Because that's what we'd do for a friend. I miss her laugh most of all. It was loud and unapologetic. She was there for me, supportive, and encouraging without me ever having to ask. The night I officially finished college we all went out to the local gay club, The Colosseum. I got wasted, of course. But Jess was the person who when I shouted 'I have to pee' on the ride home, she stopped and knocked on strangers doors and asked to let me use their bathrooms. Nobody said yes so she held my hand while I peed on a fence instead. I remember the last time we spoke. She was at a concert with a mutual friend. We hadn't spoken much since I graduated, she was still in school.

She died in her dorm room bed on Halloween as a result of asphyxiation during an epileptic seizure. She was 20 years old. The news was broken to me that very same Halloween night as I floated along in NY on a concert cruise. The World/Inferno Friendship Society decided to host Hallowmas, their annual event, on a boat this year. Nothing like being trapped on a musical boat while you grieve. I had messaged her AIM late that night to say hi. She had an away message up. I may have sent a message to a dead person. I miss her friendship more than I realize sometimes.

That brings us to James Padden. James was a warm, snuggly bear of a guy who always tried to do the right thing and let me steal his hoodies. He insantly became my best friend in a Stepbrothers-esque manner. I met James working overnights at Wawa in Leonardo, NJ. I forget how it started now, but we were standing in front of the deli and I think I tossed him a broom or he already had one. . . I cant remember now.. . . but he just took one look at me with that mischievous little twinkle that I quickly returned and we instantly began sword fighting with our brooms. Like two little boys playing pretend and having a ball. He was sweet and silly and kind. I needed a ride, and he loved to drive. Our first winter as friends, we went out doing donuts in the snow. I barely knew him, but I felt safe. We smoked a ton of weed and had so many adventures trying to procure more. One time, we got so high driving to a Dropkick Murphys concert in NY we kept going in circles, missed almost the entire show save for the last 3-5 numbers, and had a blast. I can barely remember the night, but I remember laughing hard in that car. No one could talk to me like James. We were both insecure being chubby kids and adults, but so charismatic and grandiose that I sometimes thought we were the only two who would put up with listening to each others wild ideas and ridiculous banter. We would smoke joints and take adderall and talk about everything and anything. I miss the safety and closeness I felt with him. We were always 100% platonic, but we could nap together, I could walk into his house and jump on him in bed and wake him up. Then we would cook ourselves a breakfast feast and hit the beach. He taught me to always take the back roads. I gave him advice on the ladies. He taught me about fixing cars. I helped shave his back. He called his new pick up truck, a pick'um up truck. We could wax philosophical all damn day and not get sick of each other.

It wasnt just driving he loved, it was going fast. Like so many young white men, he had tendency to be a little reckless. The universe gave him a pass only so many times.

I'll never forget when he got his motorcycle. It was the last time I saw him. It was a bright green crotch rocket. He loved lime green. I was doing yoga in the living room when I heard this obnoxious engine rev down my street. I asked myself, who the hell is making this noise?! And it was James, grinning from ear to ear with a matching helmet on his shiny new toy.

before he left I said, 'you die on that thing, I'll bring you back to life and kill you." I remember giving him this very long and intentional hug and not knowing why I felt compelled to hang on.

When he left and hopped back on the bike, I felt compelled again and took a video of him riding away from my driveway until he was entirely out of sight.

That's my very last memory of him alive. James Padden died on Thanksgiving five days after his 25th birthday. He went out for a joyride on his bike before dinner, opened up to 100mph around a curve where he couldn't see a car pulling out around the bend in time. They called a medevac, but he died on scene. I loved James dearly and I regret drifting apart after we both left Wawa and I started a new relationship. He had stuff too, but in hindsight it never seems important.

Then there's JB. I will always remember JB for his kindness and generosity. The very first time I finally worked up the nerve to go to a poetry slam, I was alone and terrified. I had no idea what to expect. JB was the very first person to turn around, introduce himself, and welcome me. He made me feel like I belonged. Years later, when I won the title of Grand Slam Champion, he immediately offered to help coach me for national competition. Except, I didn't see the messages and left them unanswered, which I deeply regret. When I started hosting my own open mic a few years after that, JB would be one of the only people to consistently come support the show both as an audience member and participant. It was at a pizza joint and he would sometimes buy me food when I had no money. He wrote beautiful poems about his two young daughters and how much they inspired him. JB always tried to make people laugh but you could tell he carried a sadness. I did not get details, but from what I have gathered he made a choice to end his life. I wish I would have gotten closer to him and appreciated him more as a friend and person. I wonder if he felt no one cared about him and I feel like I should've let him know more.

Which brings us to Crys. Crystopher Anthony Diaz was a Scorpio with a big heart and a big personality. I met him on Myspace back in the day and started Web camming. We became friends and eventually fell into this gray area of friends, together, but not. It wasn't long before I was spending days at his place, killing hours at a time downloading music, making Wawa runs, and smoking weed with his roommate at the time, Syd. You know, the whole reason I worked at Wawa was Crys suggesting it. And Wawa is the reason I met James. Crys was unlike anyone I'd ever met. He was poetic and artistic and loved animals, especially pit bulls. He loved to draw and write and had this very out loud style that favored Earth tones. He taught me about fashion and insisted on getting dressed even if it was 1am and we were just going to Wawa because you never know who you might see. We would buy new clothes at Walmart and have photo shoots. That boy drank his weight in coffee daily. If it's one thing I'll always remember him for, it's the dancing. Dancing was a passion of his and always used to talk about wanting to form a dance crew. Eventually, we ended up living together for four years. My first apartment was with him in this piece of shit duplex rented to us by a slumlord in Keansburg,NJ. My relationship with him was always defined by our Aries/Scorpio dynamic and he never let me forget it. His birthday was October 30th, mischief night. One time, after we had moved into a new place, we decided to get revenge on our old downstairs neighbor by taking a finished lobster carcass and throwing it on his lawn. . . . . . . Keansburg had a terrible stray cat problem. 😁

I have so many memories with Crystopher. Unfortunately, towards the end of our relationship things became too tumultuous. We had too much unresolved baggage and trauma to find a healthy place emotionally together. We were so financially strained for a time we hardly ate. And then when he met his new girlfriend Laura, she introduced him to her good friend, Roxy. As in Roxcicet. aka Blues. Neither of us knew what that even was at the time. But he sure learned quick. He started using them pretty frequently as time went on, and things only got more complicated. My mental health took a nose dive. By the time I moved out our relationship was trash. I basically left. At the time, I didnt have a choice. things had gotten so bad between us, the money, the using . . . we didn't act like friends anymore.

I saw him a couple times at his new place but that was years ago. Since then, he went through a lot, including homelessness and more struggles with addiction to opiates. He reached out to me and sent me a message apologizing for everything a couple years back. I never responded. I was afraid I would let him back into my life and let the all the problems back in. I didnt trust where he was at in his life. We lost touch and stopped speaking.

His ex, who used to live with us and became my friend, messaged me and told me he died a few days ago. He was 35. I'm still waiting for information, but it may have been drug related. I'm not even sure where I'm at with how I feel. I know why we stopped talking. It was the right thing to do at the time. But he didnt deserve to die so young, having spent the last god knows how many months homeless. It's fucking with me so hard because we never resolved anything. I loved this person so fucking much and we never made peace. Of everyone I've lost, he was the closest to me. I've had a lot of people die on me but none that I lived with and shared a life with. I have more memories with him than I can handle and while I know we hadn't spoken in years and why, I still wish I would've said something. Done something. Yes, i needed healthy boundaries but he needed somebody. when is being firm too firm? If we would've helped, could it have been different? But we didn't want to help at the time, you try to be tough and draw a line. Be firm. Not let yourself be taken advantage of. But is that a defense? Did that defensiveness leave a human being who's head i used to scratch until he fell asleep out in the cold to get sicker and die?

What am I supposed to learn from all this Universe? Why do you take my friends so young and so tragically? I'm only 35, I'm too young to have this much loss.

Because these are just the major players I've lost. It doesnt include my cousin Jared, who died being reckless on a motorcycle at 21 two years ago. I was 15 when he was born. I loved that baby, he used to bite my nose. But his family lived far, so I rarely saw him growing up. Last time I saw him was at my grandfather's funeral. He didn't remember me and the nose biting.

And then there's Marcos who we used to chill with. He worked delivery for our favorite chinese food place. He was a nice kid who lived with his grandparents. We would get food, smoke weed, hang out a little. Even used to buy it off him for a while. Eventually he got into the opiates too, he even wound up being good friends with Crys and being Blue buddies. But eventually Marcos died from an opiate overdose. He was in his mid twenties.

I didnt want to include Ricky because he was more of an acquaintance for me, he was more my partners childhood friend. But god damn, in the time I knew Ricky that kid was a riot. He was loud and funny and definitely marched to the beat of his own drum. Drugs took him too.

Thanks for reading all this if you've made it this far. It's taken me about two hours to type this out on my phone. but i needed to. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

[thesportssoundoff]

“A good yet stained main card with plenty of prospects and debuts on the undercard” The UFC Fight Night Tuivasa vs JDS Preview

Joey

November 27th

After a TUF FInale, the UFC heads to Australia where...well...things have always been hit or miss. Australian PPVs tend to be damn fun shows but these Aussie fight nights? Woof. They can be hit or miss. The one last November holds the record for the longest UFC fight night ever and I believe it STILL holds the record to this day. The UFC rolls into Australia with a really good main card and some intriguing prelims but I'm not as excited about it now as I was a week or so ago. We'll get into that. The main card's theme in so many words is about the best Australia has to offer minus stars like Robert Whittaker taking on some proven talent that's either looking to take their place (Justin Willis, Tony Martin) or looking to hold onto their spots (Shogun and JDS). The fights are well put together and intriguing on paper----but I'm having a tough time really getting into it. The prelims feature some tremendous fights at the lighter weight classes, a few intriguing debuts and a welterweight looking to survive the Yushin Okami test.  This show SHOULD be well worth your time and hopefully your concerns are not my concerns either.

Fights: 12

Debuts: Jim Crute, Sodiq Yusuff, Suman Mokhtarian, Kai Kara-France, Damir Ismagulov, Alex Gorgees

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 3 (Ross Pearson OUT, Damir Ismagulov IN vs Joe Duffy/Joe Duffy OUT, Alex Gorgees IN vs Damir Ismagulov/Askhan Mokhtarian OUT, Elias Garcia IN vs Kai Kara-France)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 6 (Shogun Rua, Mark Hunt, Junior Dos Santos, Jake Matthews, Yushin Okami, Wilson Reis)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: (Wilson Reis, Mizuto Hirota)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: (Tai Tuiavasa, Justin Willis, Tony Martin, Jake Matthews)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2016 (in the UFC):   26-12-1

Tai Tuiavasa- 3-0 Junior Dos Santos- 2-1 Justin Willis- 3-0 Mark Hunt- 2-3-1 Shogun Rua- 2-1 Tyson Pedro- 3-2 Jake Matthews- 4-2 Tony Martin- 5-1 Paul Craig- 3-2 Jim Crute- 0-0 Suman Mokhtarian- 0-0 Sodiq Yusuff- 0-0

Divisional Breakdown:

Flyweight- 3 Welterweight- 2 Lightweight- 2 Heavyweight- 2 Light Heavyweight- 2 Featherweight- 1

Too High Up- Jim Crute vs Paul Craig

I actually really really like this fight----as something for the prelims. Paul Craig has struggled with guys like Crute; hard hitters who are a smidge more athletic than him who are don't panic on the feet and pressure him into making mistakes. Jim Crute fits that bill and there's a lot of unknowns about Crute that makes this a compelling match up. Crute tends to start slow and is hittable; opening up some doors for Craig. We also don't know how good he is on the ground which is an avenue by which Crute could be exposed. It's a fine fight as a prelim headliner or something of that ilk. It's a good fight, just a bit too over the top for the main card. Chances are this one is about to be a little ugly too. Both guys have some serious technical flaws on the feet.

Too Low- Wilson Reis vs Ben Nguyen

The prelims on this card are perfectly fine for a filler December Fight Night; it's basically a lot of Japan vs the world fights (Australia, Russia and Germany) with a few filler flyweight fights thrown in. I like Reis vs Nguyen though. Even though Ben Nguyen has basically been scrubbed every time he gets tasked with taking a step up, Reis is the sort of guy he can have a hell of an action fight with. Reis vs Nguyen could be a fun fight and the main card could use that even if it interrupts the Australia vs the world run.

Stat Monitor for 2018:

Debuting Fighters (Current number: 32-40-1): Jim Crute, Sodiq Yusuff, Suman Mokhtarian, Kai Kara-France, Damir Ismagulov, Alex Gorgees

Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 31-30):  Elias Garcia, Alex Gorgees

Second Fight (Current number: 39- 33-1):  Elias Garcia, Salim Touahri, Alexey Kunchenko, Christos Giagos

Cage Corrosion (Current number: 22-37):  0

Undefeated Fighters (Current number: 31-23-1):  Alex Gorgees

Keeping An Eye On But Not Really; Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization:

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- Has Tito vs Chuck dampened anybody else's enjoyment of this card? MMA tends to be a swing of  extremes and so when something's really good, it tends to make everything else seem really good and when something's really bad, we tend to all swing in the opposite direction and assume everything is bad. I'm in the latter right now with the top three fights on this card. JDS has been flattened every time he's faced a puncher recently with Overeem and Miocic (twice) beating him up pretty badly. The Cain fights speak for themselves of course. Tai Tuivasa may be limited in a collection of areas but he hits really hard and carries that power pretty well seemingly. I just saw Shogun get laid out by Anthony Smith and while the damage Shogun's taken may be somewhat overstated compared to the other guys involved in the "big" fights, he's been laid out in four of his last five losses. Lastly you have Mark Hunt who is way over 40 and had a full medical evaluation done after he did an interview alleging some form of brain damage. He was cleared ("and said he was joking") but he's fighting another guy who hits really hard after decades of combat sports abuse. It just feels like all of these fights paint a somewhat unsettling picture and maybe that's just the Chuck/Tito afterglow on it. I still am pretty excited for three "young guy vs old lion" fights----but man if I'm not giving this a second look and hoping we've got quick trigger finger refs available.

2- Is JDS a step too far for Tai Tuivasa? Tuivasa debuted around this time last year and he ran through some so-so dudes in Rashad Coulter and then Cyril Asker. He got a sturdy test in Andrei Arlovski in the midst of yet another career rebirth and he passed that well enough. He looked lost early, got hit a bit and then made adjustments and brawled his way back into the fight. It wasn't the sort of performance that would make you think he's ready for JDS but at the same time, JDS isn't the same guy he was in 2012 or 2013. Dos Santos' wins have all felt the same; he's comfortable when there's space and when he can press forward, he still has the primary traits and tools necessary to trouble dudes who are limited athletically or the types of HWs who rely on toughness and grappling (since he's impossible to take down) but dudes like Stipe and Overeem had zero issues walking him down and less issues finding his chin. JDS' ability to get in and out of harm's way comes and goes and fighters who can pressure him early can get him to back straight up and give them ample avenues to fire away. Lastly, Tuivasa just has a lot of different avenues to hurt JDS and while I have questions about HIS defensive ability; I feel like when shit gets squirrely you bet on the youth. At the same time this is HW and at heavyweight, nobody is ever really "done" unless they're completely comatose. Andrei Arlovski has been gone, come back and then been gone again. Alistair Overeem feels like he's one win away from pushing himself into the big fights again.  Derrick Lewis' early UFC runs were blemished by losses to dudes like Shawn Jordan and Matt Mitrione. This shit is never really over and so I'm wondering if JDS is about to wow us with yet another HW renaissance.

3- This has to be Tyson Pedro's last chance to be something, right? Losses to Latifi and OSP in fights that he probably should've won puts you in this do or die spot, no?

4- Can't tell if Justin WIllis vs Mark Hunt is an attempt to body Hunt on his way out of the organization or the UFC just throwing names and faces they have no interest in together. Willis is kinda good but also 31 and struggled with Chase Sherman's pressure at times. Not an ideal step up for him.

5- Jake Matthews vs Tony Martin is pretty interesting on paper and could be a lot of fun come fight night. I threw in the towel on Matthews a while ago but he's rallied to win three straight at 170 lbs and looks like a different fighter mentally than the dude who struggled with Andrew Holbrook. Martin is a fine fighter who has also found himself up 15 lbs at 170. Martin is probably still going to be worlds smaller than Matthews  but he's a pressure fighter who is good enough everywhere that Jake Matthews shouldn't be able to run over him. If he does then it'll be pretty damn impressive and another stamp that Matthews at 170 lbs is a serious big time fighter to keep in mind.

6- Can we pencil in Overeem vs the winner of JDS/Tuivasa now or should we at least wait a while?

7- Either way I wonder if a quick turnaround is coming for either HW winner if he gets it done in short order. Both Ngannou and Overeem had quickie finishes and January's ESPN+ show is approaching quickly.

8- What is the incentive to make weight if you're a flyweight? Wilson Reis is a guy who has a pronounced big cut, Ben Nguyen could probably make 135 lbs easy enough, Kai Kara-France is in his debut so he can't fuck up his weight cut obviously while Elias Garcia is a small dude (like natural 125 lber small) who is taking it on short notice. What's the point if everybody knows this division is going away?

9-  Sodiq Yusuff is about become yet another really talented kinda impossible to promote "problem" for the UFC. Dude's damn good and worthy of your time though.

10- Chrisos Giagos fought in late September vs Charles Oliveira and now he's back out here throwing down in December vs Mizuto Hirota. Maybe this is how he keeps his stay in the UFC, as the busy hungry man dude who takes a bunch of fights nobody else wants at any time. He has a good chance to beat Hirota from distance at least.

11- If you thought Alexey Kunchenko could be a big star, why the fuck would you put him in there vs Yushin Okami of all people? That SEEMS like a bad idea across all levels.

12- Damir Ismagulov was signed shortly after the UFC's big success in Russia and it makes sense given that he's an M1 champion and big enough deal in Russia.  The UFC tried to get Imsagulov onto the China card with apparently three different opponents falling through. They squeezed him in on a short notice deal vs Joe Duffy (and I think he would've won that fight personally) but Duffy pulled out so now he faces undefeated Kiwi Alex Gorgees. Something tells me Ismagulov is going to get fast tracked.

[junker-town]

College basketball’s 6 power conference tournament title games we want to see

Mike Carter-USA TODAY Sports

Put your rooting interests aside for the moment. These six title games would give us the best combination of quality and drama on conference tournament championship weekend.

The power conference tournaments get underway Tuesday with opening round action in the ACC going down in Greensboro. This kicks off a six day stretch where we will be flooded with the best college basketball teams in the country playing in win or go home scenarios where “go home” can mean anything from a diminished seed in the NCAA tournament to the season being over.

If you’re a fan of a team in a power conference, then obviously you have a rooting interest as far as what you’d like to see in that conference’s tournament championship game. If you’re an impartial viewer simply rooting for the highest quality and most dramatic title tilts this coming weekend, here are the six games you should be hoping to see.

Big East: No. 1 Creighton vs. No. 3 Seton Hall

Last week, Seton Hall had an opportunity to claim its first outright Big East regular-season title since 1993 with either a home win over Villanova or a road victory over Creighton. After losing narrowly at home to Jay Wright’s club, the Pirates got smacked on the road by the Bluejays, 77-60. The loss meant that not only would Seton Hall have to share the regular-season title with Creighton and Villanova, but the Pirates would be the No. 3 seed for the Big East tournament and would have to face the nation’s leading scorer, Markus Howard, and Marquette in their postseason opener.

To their credit, Creighton was ready for the moment on Saturday. Almost right as the final buzzer sounded inside CHI Health Center Omaha, a “2020 Big East Regular-Season Champions” banner was unfurled from the rafters. The team then proceeded to cut down the nets inside the building.

The Bluejay faithful loved the theatrics. Seton Hall head coach Kevin Willard did not.

“I’m really pissed off that people are cutting down the nets and my guys are down there [in the locker room],” Willard said in his postgame radio interview. “I should’ve brought them out, but they’re not in a very good mood right now. I wish I could bring my kids out here right now because they’re cutting down the nets and I’ve got 13 kids who think they failed miserably.”

The top eight teams in the Big East are so strong that it’s going to be damn near impossible for this tournament not to produce a compelling title game. This one would check every box though:

— Bad blood

— Quality teams

— Fun styles of play

— Star power

We just need a healthy Marcus Zegarowski and we’ll be good to go.

Big Ten: No. 2 Michigan State vs. No. 4 Illinois

Like the Big East, the Big Ten is so saturated with quality teams that it’s really difficult to envision a championship game that doesn’t produce a quality two hours of entertainment. Additionally, it seems like just about every Big Ten coach — Fran McCaffery, Chris Holtmann, Archie Miller, Mark Turgeon, Greg Gard, Brad Underwood — has thrown a fit about something or someone at some point this season, so you’ve got a strong likelihood of sideline fireworks at play here as well.

Unless there’s a team in the Big Ten championship game that needs the league’s auto-bid to make the NCAA tournament, the Selection Committee has pretty much completed its bracket by the time this game is going on. It’s only real purpose is to keep us entertained until the Selection Show starts at 6 p.m. ET. With that being the case, let’s go with the two teams that would give us the most up-and-down, competitive two hours of action, which I think would be Illinois and Michigan State.

Kofi Cockburn vs. Xavier Tillman? Good. Cassius Winston vs. Ayo Dosunmu? Even better. Tom Izzo and Brad Underwood busting blood vessels on the sidelines? Give me all of it.

ACC: No. 4 Duke vs. No. 14 North Carolina

Roll your eyes if you want, but unless something wild happens, this ACC tournament doesn’t seem likely to bring the level of drama and intrigue that fans of the event have grown accustomed to over the years.

There is an established top tier of Florida State, Louisville, Duke and Virginia, four teams that are all safely in the NCAA tournament. Those four teams have played some decent games against one another and there’s been a small amount of bad blood between Louisville and Florida State, but nothing has really happened amongst the quartet that has the general basketball world foaming at the mouth for a rematch. Outside of those four, there’s one true bubble team with work to do in No. 5 seed NC State, and then the other nine teams in the field almost certainly all have to win four games in four days or five games in five days to make it into the big field of 68.

That final storyline seems like the most compelling one. This tournament is going to need a true Cinderella reach maximum interest levels, and what better Cinderella than the worst North Carolina team of the Roy Williams era?

If “Zombie UNC” — led by a determined Cole Anthony who certainly possesses the tools necessary to have one of those conference tournament weeks people remember forever — can make it to Thursday’s quarterfinals, this could get interesting.

This is the first time in the history of the ACC tournament that neither Duke or North Carolina has been a top three-seed. What better year for the arch-rivals to square off in a 4 vs. 14 title game?

Big 12: No. 1 Kansas vs. No. 2 Baylor

There’s no need to get cute here. Baylor went to Lawrence and manhandled Kansas in January, and then the Jayhawks came to Waco and won a highly competitive game a month later. Now we need a round three.

If round three does happen in Kansas City, Kansas will have almost certainly already locked down the NCAA tournament’s No. 1 overall seed. The game could have more significance for Baylor, which may be fighting with Gonzaga and Dayton (or someone else) for pecking order behind the Jayhawks on the top line.

Regardless of all the seeding implications and other extenuating circumstances, this would probably just be a fantastic game. Kansas looks like everyone’s national title favorite, and Baylor needs to get its mojo pointed back in the right direction before it starts playing with its season on the line next week. There’s all the storyline you need.

SEC: No. 1 Kentucky vs. No. 2 Auburn

This tournament doesn’t seem like it’s going to be nearly as much fun as we thought it could be heading into the season, but there’s still an opportunity for an alluring title game.

Kentucky is back in its familiar spot as the unquestioned king of the conference, but Auburn won this event a year ago and then went on to upset the Wildcats in the Elite Eight and make their first ever trip to the Final Four. The two teams appear to be the class of the conference this season, and split their regular season meetings, with each winning fairly comfortably on its home floor.

A John Calipari/Bruce Pearl rubber match loaded with screaming and sweating is the best option for the first part of Selection Sunday afternoon.

Pac-12: No. 1 Oregon vs. No. 3 Arizona State

UCLA is the most fascinating story in the Pac-12 right now and one of the most fascinating stories nationally, but I’m leaving them out of the dream title game for one reason: Their situation becomes more interesting if they lose early in the tournament.

We’re talking about a team that has won seven of its last eight games, that finished alone in second place in a power conference that could send as many as seven teams to the NCAA tournament, and that is being coached by the man who was just named Pac-12 Coach of the Year. That same team we just described is not a lock to hear its name called on Selection Sunday. That’s incredible.

If UCLA were to win two games and advance to Saturday’s championship game, the drama is gone and the Bruins would almost certainly slide off the bubble and into the “lock” category. We’re all about the drama here, so our scenario has them falling in the quarters or semis.

As for who will be playing ... the Pac-12 title game is the true Selection Sunday Eve test for East Coast hoop heads. It doesn’t tip-off until 10:30 p.m., which means it needs to serve as a basketball stimulant. That shouldn’t be a problem with Payton Pritchard leading Oregon’s high-octane offense and Remy Martin countering with Arizona State’s up-tempo attack.

Plus, I mean, it’s Bobby Hurley in a high-pressure, nationally-televised game with enormous implications. I’m not saying he’s definitely going to punch somebody or rip off an article of clothing, but the chances of at least one of those things happening in this game would be exponentially higher than they would be for any other game played this coming weekend.

[drewxmay]

Contestshipping Review - Part Eleven - Deceit and Assist

Previous

Next

Index

-The Title-

You know what there are actually a few different ways you can interpret this title but I'm sure that they are just once again doing the same thing they did last episode in making fun of Pokemon attacks.

-Episode Link-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9qOP_KdhJA

-The Review-

0:0

Episode starts out with May getting her Pokemon back from Nurse Joy and then Nurse Joy absolutely burning Brock.

0:13

Harley: May! Oh I've been looking absolutely everywhere for you!!!

May: Oh hi Harley!

Harley: I was just wondering but can you and I practice later today?

May: Of course!

Harley needs a nickname.

Deceitful Liar seems to work for now but later I need a better nickname.

0:38

Unfinished theme song that ends at 0:48.

0:55

Drew is a very nice and thoughtful person who takes care of his Pokemon well.

Just look at the second image that is too cute.

1:19

Hey look the girl with the Espeon again!

Wait no that is the same exact image from last episode.

It's just been flipped.

1:38

Ash: Snowrunt now time to practice Ice beam!

Snowrunt: :tries shooting ice beam and it hits this guy:

Put it simply: No.

I do not like this character.

2:29

Ash: So Anthony are you going to the finals?

Anthony: I would've but I lost all of my ribbons.

Again: Why aren't they on their records like gym badges are on trainers records? If it was like that then this wouldn't be as big of a deal.

2:50

Well It's way to obvious Team Rocket stole the ribbons, I don't see why you have to explain this. If you want to skip this scene go to 3:45, no need to summarize.

2:45

May always has been and always will be cute.

Here is some exposition:

Brock explained to May that one of the rounds within the grand festival will require two Pokemon to be used as a tag team. May decided she needed more practice in this.

May: Who wants to pair up with Beautifly for our first practice?

:All of May's Pokemon other than Munchlax who is sleeping cheer:

May: Harley is that fine with you?

Harley: No problem.

May: Alright Skitty you're up!

And Drew is still right there watching.

Right there.

Harley: You go on and make the first move May!

May: Okay! Skitty use assist!

Skitty: :Assist turns into fire spin and utterly destroys Cacturn, but Cacturn is still up:

May: Skitty assist again!

Skitty: :Assist turns into Silver Wind, it doesn't hit anything though it just look pretty:

Harley: :runs up to May: That was cool!

May: Huh?

Harley: I didn't know you had a trick like this up your sleeve!

Harley: With a combination of that assist and that silver wind you'd be unbeatable!

May: I... can't becuase there's no telling whether I'll get silver wind or something else...

Harley: Oh the judges wouldn't penalize you for that! Why that's the appeal of the assist! It's exiting becuase you'll never know what will happen next it doesn't matter becuase your Pokemon are all to great anyways!

Harley you're getting a little too close there...

May: I think I will use Skitty in the first round!

May.

That is an assist attack.

Can you not see this?

5:00

Caroline: Kinda a risky strategy!

Drew: I'll say. :walks away:

Drew say more try to do something about it.

You know what do whatever you're going to do.

5:20

Back to Anthony and Ash.

Officer Jenny: Anthony, if you report this to the main office they will still let you in!

Anthony: I'll never be able to get in.

Did you even listen to what she said?

6:00

Yay and so it begins!!!

6:35

Three Nurse Joys to be judges.

Now a score of 500 points, much better than the 100, even though they should've kept it at a 300.

7:30

:Backstage:

Harley: May what's wrong?

May: Oh just looking for a friend.

Harley: ooooo you're looking for Drew aren't ’cha!

It's funny that a lot of contestshipping actually don't know that she wasn't looking for Drew. This is a very popular scene but sooo many people believe that she actually was.

May: No! What happened is this guy lost his ribbons and we figured the thief will enter the contest... so I'm just keeping and eye out for them...

May doesn't know who Anthony is you dumb-ass show.

Harley: Oh my I hate the fact that their might be dishonesty around us...

I'm adding this to Harley's list of quotes.

8:03

More contest!!!

Lilian: Judges will all have a 1-20 point scale

what

so 5 x 200 = 1000

okay 1000 different point can be given, not the original 500.

8:48

Harley's turn, wonder if he will do something more interesting then shooting poison sting as the grown really fast.

Summary:

Harley sends out Benett and the audience is silenced after he lets out an evil laugh and a scary face. Benett uses Will-O-Wisp, and the shoots thunder at the sky. The thunder comes down onto Benett inside of the circle of Will-O-Wisps, which Lilian points out should've knocked it out, but it isn't and instead it is giving off that same creepy laugh.

Harley gets an 89.

10:00

Skip-able scene where they found Jessie pretending to be Anthony and Jenny tried to arrest Jessie.

She gets away obviously.

11:18

And becuase I have to here is a summary of Anthony's appeal.

He sends out Swallot, who goes high into the air and then back down onto the ground, it squishes a lot then goes back together like goop. Then it uses sludge bomb and Bullet seed. The seeds destroy the sludge and then his Swallot ate all of the seeds.

He gets an 82.

12:01

And now for May's turn!!!

When May sends out Skitty she does many cartwheels in the air and then lands on the ground, obviously the Skitty has a lot of agility. Skitty triumphantly says "Nya!" and the crowd is very happy, obviously in awe of her cuteness. Skitty then uses assist which comes out at Silver wind, luckily for May this turns out well. Then, it shows Skitty using assist many more times, coming out as many different attacks, and Lilian makes a comment about how it seems to be showing all of the attacks from the rest of May's team, and everybody is extremely pleased by this.

Harley, back,stage, on the other hand, is very unreleased, saying that it should've failed.

Back to May, she uses assist again and it comes out as Solar Beam, May and Skitty become very confused becuase she doesn't think any of her  Pokemon know Solar Beam. Time is running out, and so May decides to use assist one more times. It comes out as petal dance, and the timer still has very little time. Then, Skitty becomes confused, and starts running in circles chasing it's tail. Oddly enough this didn't lose her many points becuase the crowd found it adorable, but the judges on the other hand are becoming less and less happy with May's appeal.

14:30

Harley: Yes! All of the stuff I've said to May about only using one attack is working!

Drew: I knew it!

HOLY SHIT

DREW WAS WATCHING AND ALREADY FIGURED IT OUT BUT HE HAD NO 100% GARENTEE THAT THIS WAS THE CASE

JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE OF RAGE HE HAS

Drew: You're no friend of May's! You're just trying to make advantage of her!

Harley: So what? It's a competition right!

And now that he knows, Harley can be just as rude to him as he wants to, no reason to hold back now.

14:37

May: I'm sorry Harley... Skitty use double-slap!!!

Once Skitty uses double-slap, it continues ti slap itself, and that knocks them out of their confusion. May is then relieved and full of confidence, while backstage Harley is full of rage and is shocked that she of all people were able to do it. When Drew sees this he smirks. May calls out for a blizzard. When Skitty uses blizzard, it prepels itself off of the ground high up into the air, and the snow turns to ice under her, and it creates a giant icy mountain, and then the timer finally runs out.

May gets a 79, and everybody is worried that she won't advance.

15:22

May: I'm sorry to let you down Harley but I just couldn't do it with assist alone...

Drew: Don't apologize to him.

May: Why?

Drew: That whole line about only using one attack? It was all just his plot to make sure you don't win!

May: what do you mean?

Harley: It would've worked too if your annoying boyfriend here kept his trap shut!

May: But wait what about all of the compliments and nice things you've said to me!?!

Harley: I only said those to gain your trust!

May: But that just... so rotten!!!

If you were willing to you should really use much stronger words May.

Harley: Ugh! Please cry me a river! It's your own fault May, never trust anyone!

May on the verge of tears: ... I still don't get why you did it...

Harley: I did it to get revenge against you.

May still almost crying: huh-?

Harley: For the time you beat me in that contest!

May: But I beat you fair and square why would you want revenge for that?!?!

Harley: You say it was far becuase you won it!!! But, you won't be winning today, not with that score! :bumps May while walking off:

you know so many people were watching that.

16:25

May: What a creep... :shouts towards Harley: BUT YOU DRESS WEIRD!

Drew: He was right about one thing you have to admit. You shouldn't've trusted him.

May: But how could I know?

Drew: Stop listening to advice from other people! Just trust your Pokemon and do what you know is right. :walks off angrily:

You can really tell how bad of a mood he is in, but what he is saying is right. Even if it does seem like good advice from a person you trust, you should really think to see how good of advice that is, and think if what your Pokemon think is more important, becuase it is. Now May has almost no chance of getting to the next round becuase she wasn't thinking and was only paying attention to the compliments somebody that she could've easily saw was lying but she was too trusting and eating too many of the compliments fo figure it out on her own.

16:46

And now it is Drew's appeal. Time to summarize.

He sends out Masqurain, who then uses hidden power. The white orbs swirl around its wings and turn them into rainbow colors. When Drew holds his hand up towards Masqurain, Masqurain lets all of the colors go away and the orbs turn into sparkles that cover the stadium.

May notes in her head his type of battling.

Next, the entire stage has been covered with bubbles, and then Masqurain uses Silver wind to make all of the bubbles blow off the floor and all over the stadium.

AND THEN DREW GETS A PERFECT 100.

Good job :D

18:11

Hey look, Robert is back and also got a perfect score with his Milotick.

One thing that bothers me about Robert is that his Milotick seems to be his only Pokemon, but she should have at least two Pokemon for the grand Festival.

Unless he has two Milotick, which would be impressive.

18:30

And now, all of the people who will make it to the next round show up on the board, May is the very last on the list, but she is very glad that she was able to get on.

Now to see what they did with Drew and Roberts tie.

so, they put Robert before Drew. This probably does tie in with my theory that they do re-watch the clips to to settle ties.

18:50

Now they are randomizing the contestants to see who will be battling who, May has to battle Harley.

19:10

So random very small team Rocket scene were was Jessie wants to be in the Grand Festival.

Remember that one time she actually earned five ribbons and got extremely far into the grand festival, only to be bested by Dawn?

nvm that is in like so many more seasons.

19:30

Now for the rest of the episode!

It is the next day, and the first battle is starting: May VS Harley. May sends out Beautifly and Bulbasoar, and Harley sends otu Cacturn and Benett. The episode ends of a cliff hanger for what will happen in the next episode.

-Conclution-

I love this episode, lessens have been learned, battles have been fought, victories have been cheated, and interaction between characters we usually don't see interact otherwise.

You can tell in this episode Drew has real concern for May, he is watching out for her, keeping a close on Harley ever sense he met him. He could tell something was up, and when he has confirmation Harley didn't deny it. He instead boasted about it, and was proud that he was able to pull it off. And May in the episode had fallen for Harley's tricks, and was blinded by compliment and her own willingness for forgive and trust people. When Drew explained to her what she should've done instead, you could see every point of what Drew was saying was correct. May knew this, and so during his appeal she tried paying attention to how he battled. She knows she should've done with before and shouldn't just try to learn from Ash, and while we're at it she gets most of her skills from Ash, and tries to analyze his gym battles to try and learn, but once she finally realizes that that isn't want she should be doing, she tries to learn from other coordinators. The reason that trying to copy Ash actually hurts her, is becuase Ash always goes for the knock out, like how you should in gym battles, but contests are different. You need to look for ways to appeal, and ways to subtract points and do damage. Knock-Outs is not a coordinators first choice to make, it just won't work like that.

May learned a lesson, and she tried to grow from it.

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

Confrontation

A follow up to both “Revelations and Truths” and “A Little Bit ‘Bout Me: The Benito Zucco Diary”. All credit for helping me keeping moving forward with these stories goes to @lightdusk, @fireflyxrebel, @nightglider124, @tarisilmarwen and many others. Constructive criticism is welcome 

Have a nice read :-)  

Cigar smoke rose into the ceiling as the fan blew at its medium speed; providing some coolness in the daytime heat but really it was doing was keeping said smoke in limbo, giving the room a nasty smell of burnt tobacco. This sort of smell however didn’t bother the young man who was puffing away in the slightest as he stared outside the window the city streets outside. The streets were bustling with many people of colors and what warmed the man’s heart perhaps the most was the sight of a young father showing his son the sights while the little boy asked so many questions to him as they usually do. It was sights like this one that provided Benito Pugliese Zucco, the man looking out the window not only his primary motivator for the election campaign but also the foundation for why his life deep down had ‘misery issues’.

Basically put, his father Anthony ‘Boss’ Zucco had done the same sort of bonding with him when he was alive but since he was criminal guilty of orchestrating an ‘accident’ to a circus act resulting in their demises all due to a protection racket gone wrong, he was sent to the electric chair when his son Benito was at the fragile age of 12 years old.

Ten years after that sort of trauma, the young Zucco now had the wealth and the political drive to run for the position of Mayor in this city. The ideology of his choice was commonly referred to by more liberal media outlets as ‘Fascist in nature’, a claim he doesn’t actually dissuade given that he was raised as such from his father due to ties with Fascist Italy in his family’s past and so far it’s has actually won him a very good winning chance of the election due to the main bulk of the Jump City agreeing with his statements that promise greater job quality, stronger crime security, renovating old homes into much cheaper places for lower income people to move into; in a lot of ways, Zucco’s policies he hopes to achieve seem like the sort of goals not one single dang candidate focuses in this city given all the controversies surrounding the public sector regarding race, gender and other ‘SJW’ topics that get in the way of what really needs to be done. Zucco, on the other hand, wins over the city’s populace due not only focus but the large amount of personal honesty that comes into his interviews and politeness to rival candidates from all sides, especially in light of nasty arguments that erupt each time there’s an election around the corner. Ok, ok, the politics and promises he knows he can keep are all well off and planned but for Zucco, they honestly are more of a secondary goal compared to what he’s after: discredit and ultimate illegalization of Meta-human vigilantes, in particular the Teen Titans.

This is where the Fascist allegation comes in since in the proud majority of his speeches he’s performed since his debut, Zucco often talks toward some of the more negative aspects the Teen Titans have done throughout their soon-to-be five year stewardship of the city’s protectors not limited to the amount of collateral damage ranging from city blocks needing their roads repaired or even one or two incident involving an entire skyscraper’s windows being shattered, of course not accounting for the amounts of civilians hopelessly caught in the middle of terrorist attacks from the likes of the HIVE Five and the Titans’ retaliations often ending with some innocent s hospitalized. The young boy and his father outside of his Party HQ’s window could be potential victims of the Titans’ battles if said team did not practice the ever so valuable caution they don’t exhibit all too well. In his mind, the Titans’ might never practice any sort of caution given of their status outside the law and by now being on the brink of collage, therefore not giving them any sort of discipline from adult authority from parents. Often when trying to defend civilian families in his speeches against the Titans’ lawless measures against crime, Zucco faces criticism from Pro Titan folks from all sectors of Jump city Society in which makes him weary for not exactly what he said, but rather what he can accidently say. That accident slips being his semi-reasonable dislike towards the Titans’ leader, Robin the Boy Wonder.

“Just what do you think you’re doing, Mr. Candidate?” speak of the devil.

As Zucco turns around, he sees both Robin and his Tamaranean ally and romantic partner Koriand’r (translated in English as ‘Starfire’ from what he hears)  just entering his door and giving him a questionable look that ranges from both stern to downright nearly murderous, for Star and Robin respectfully.

“So you do watch the news do ya, Gray boy?” Zucco asks while lightly taking out his cigar out of his mouth.

“Indeed we have” Star says in a rather disappointed tone, “from what we have observed within your speech patterns and dogma, you wish to antagonize us in the eyes of these humans, yes?”

“Hey, hey, now Goldie, I didn’t ‘antagonize’ anybody against you. I was just simply giving my personal thoughts on the matter of you guys wrecking everybody’s damn stuff whenever the costumed freaks popup” Zucco shrugs as he stamps his used cigar unto the ashtray, “If those votes end up going to me and giving me the right to move into the Mayor’s office, that was their choice not mine.”

Robin’s near murderous glare only tightened at that statement “Fine then. I wonder if they’ll make that choice when they hear of what your little Trade Federation actually does; mercenary hiring, naval blockades against Asian cities including Singapore, trading with rogue nations including North freaking Korea?!”

“Your point, pal?”

“Why? What do you plan to do if you are Mayor?”

“Clean up this damn city, lower the crime rate to nonexistence and basically show the folks here that your heroics just simply can’t work in an age where people want action and their just dues, not superheroes.”

Robin places his hands on the desk across from Zucco and began pointing his finger “We all made mistakes and slip ups in the past, even I had made very bad ones, but we’ve learn from them. We’re not going to be kids forever and you have to realize that, and it shouldn’t be too hard for you given that you’re almost our age and here you are acting like a spoiled, rich and smart aleck brat yourself.”

“Smart aleck?!” Zucco nearly yells “Well pardon my thick accent and bluntness here Grayson but you do realize that you haven’t even attended school for God knows how long, you live in a T shaped Tower with high tech gizmos, walling you guys outside of a world filled with crappy drivers in the streets, sh*tty sewer buildings that are ‘meant to serve the homeless in our land’, a military in need of more praise that what they get, and all you guys do whenever you’re NOT trying to help with the city’s people is just keyboard away on your fancy shmancy computers on how racism is the biggest tragedy in any country when you’re not being racist yourself towards the hard working…”

Before Zucco can go on with his political spiel, Robin grabs him by the collar of his shirt, and mercilessly tosses him into the nearest wall. Tightening his fists, Robin’s begins his approach to Zucco, who’s barely recovering from such a throw, and preparing to punch down had it not been for Star grabbing his arms.

“Friend, please...”

“Star, let go will you?”

“Not until you calm yourself. We do not wish to provoke authorities here.”

By the time Robin had calmed in Star’s arms, Zucco had gotten back up, only spitting once with blood from his jaw before taking his seat at his desk.

Starfire had let go of Robin and he was able to stare down at the Mayor candidate with a simple question, “You know for the fact this is more than just helping these people Zucco, don’t you?”

Zucco had taken another cigar from black leather trench coat and began lighting it “Ok I admit. I have some minor issues against you Gray boy.”

“Against me? What did I ever do to you?” Robin asks with a questioning tone coming out.

Star back him “From what we can recall, we do not hear of a Benito Zucco amongst civilians neither of evil doers within our proximity or even of the other Titans.”

Zucco puffs out “Oh don’t play stupid with me. The name Zucco should’ve been a dead giveaway to you.”

Robin raises an eyebrow before noticing something…he knows the inside shirt Benito is wearing and he remembers that smooth looking 1930s hat he wears. He had seen them before. He had seen them, with a certain Italian speaking man and his brothers…Talking to his father John…just two nights…before the ‘accident’...

“Wait a minute…”

“Robin, is something troubling you?”

“Star, I think I know…who this guy is.” Robin then turns towards Benito “Does the name Anthony ‘Boss’ Zucco, crime lord who was eventually executed on the electric chair, ring any bells?”

A short silence follows…

    “He was my Papa.”

Robin can only bulge his eyes in utter shock.

The guy who had been bad mouthing his team, the man who created a trading company that can hire people like Slade, the one was saying the Titans needed to get out of town…he was the son of the man who got his Mama and Daddy. He knew he had a bad feeling about him since the first time he heard him speaking in the T Car’s radios. It looks like his now resurrected mother and the Court of Owls wasn’t the only thing coming from his past with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Benito Zucco was the Boss’ son and he… knows his secrets…he knows all about him…and…

“If you does you any favors, I won’t spill the beans about your identity to the public Grayson” Zucco interrupts as he puffs from his cigar “Also, don’t worry about your mom Mrs. Grayson going around axing people, my boys in the Jump PD have read all about Talon and sent guys from the FBI and Russian Spetznaz after her. They don’t know who she is either so we’re all good here.” Zucco finishes with soft smirk on his face.

Robin snaps out of his thought s and reflections upon hearing this and simply nods. “So…I guess…we’ll be heading out now.”

Starfire couldn’t help nut nod in agreement “Yes, I believe we…wish to apprehend the archfiend Mammoth attacking your financial center just now.” She wasn’t lying; they just got a text via their communicators from raven about Mammoth attack the Continental Bank

“Yeah you go do that. Just try your best NOT to get me more votes.” Zucco says, gesturing a ‘just please go away’ hand.

Within the next thirty seconds, Robin and Starfire had left the Jump Civic Authority Party’s main HQ and on their way to battle HIVE member Mammoth with their teammates.

Zucco breathed out hard; he thought he was the one with anger issues.

 Epilogue

Richard Grayson sat on his bed’s edge with some bandages wrapped around him right biceps in light of today’s battle against Mammoth and his surprise attack, being HIVE reinforcements. He just couldn’t stop reflecting on the last few weeks and the impact they can have on his teammates. Not only was his mother alive again and out there stalking God knows how many potential targets in his assassin driven mind but now his past becomes full circle for know the son of his mother’s murderer is running for Mayor of this city and who knows what sort of policies will he place that can harm his team. Maybe it can even devolve to outright illegalization, forcing his friends to go into hiding or away from the city they have defended for years.

As his bare feet were lifted from the floor and lied to the opposite side to his bed from him, Richard honestly wondered…was it really worth fighting crime and getting themselves involved in his crime fighting crusade? Now he himself didn’t want to stop, he made an oath when he was eight years old swearing to fight for Truth and Justice under a candlelight with his hand on an Old Catholic Bible. But he wonders about his friends…Cyborg only became what he was because of an automobile accident severely damaging him inside and out…Beast Boy was trained since age even younger than him and from even stricter adopted parents…Raven and Starfire were literally born for destruction (against the Mortal Realm and against the Gordanian Empire respectfully)…point being Richard MADE his choice…the others didn’t and a past that he himself lived through will affect them..Just like how his obsession with Slade had done all those years ago.

A light tickle rubbed on his feet, taking Richard out of his thoughts and looking to the left side of his bed, seeing Starfire cuddled under his blankets and her hair lightly brushing on his toes. It was seeing that innocent sight of her literally next to him that Richard realizes if Star can stay close to him after all these years and whatever challenges come up next, his other friends can do so as well. With that comfort in mind, Richard’s eyes began to shut themselves while the ceiling fan above him blew at medium speed.

[shervonfakhimi]

The Butler Strikes Back

During the vast migration of star players of the Summer of 2019, from the two-star couplings in Los Angeles to the reuniting of former Thunder teammates in Houston to the shunning of the Knicks from Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving, there was one, especially that left many puzzled. That was when Jimmy Butler left the Philadelphia 76ers, who have two stars in their own right in Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons, to go Miami Heat to do his best to fill the impossibly large shoes Dwyane Wade left behind upon his retirement. The Heat? The same Miami Heat with only one playoff appearance since Chris Bosh was forced to retire because of blood clot issues that could have risked him dying should he have continued to play (side note, what a crime that of all players, it was Bosh who was not able to sustain his should’ve-been first ballot hall of fame career as the league has trended to bigs who can shoot from deep and defend on the perimeter)? The same Heat trending towards irrelevance after the big contracts of Dion Waiters, James Johnson, Kelly Olynyk and Hassan Whiteside and trade of future first-round picks for Goran Dragic paralyzed their ability to make the star-hunting moves the Godfather Pat Riley is notorious for? Who the hell would want to go there with no path to a star, and who would want a guy who’s run amuck in at least two separate organizations for supposedly not being the leader they need? Turns out, both of them not only wanted, but needed each other, and the results have been beautiful so far.

Remember when Jimmy Butler blew up that Minnesota Timberwolves practice, frustrated with the lack of emphasis on prioritizing winning within the organization and beating the Wolves’ starters with benchwarmers? While that did take a hit to Butler’s reputation for some (not me: I voted for him to be an All-Star last year despite the criticism he took), it also showed exactly where Butler’s priorities rest at. That eventually finally led to Butler’s exodus from Minnesota to Philadelphia, where he showed he was one of the NBA’s best clutch players, often closing out games for the Sixers with their lack of scoring from their perimeter (people forget it was Butler who tied the game in Game 7 before Kawhi killed the Sixers’ hopes and dreams). However, he was scheduled to be a free agent the summer after and could finally join an organization whose goals were aligned with his. After previously being teammates with Heat legend Dwyane Wade in Chicago for a season and recruitment from Wade, he chose the Heat.

If ever there were an organization to take on the sith lord known as Jimmy Butler, Miami is the place. Pushing teammates? Playing with edge? Outworking your peers? That’s what the Heat culture is, and that’s what Butler and the Heat already have done. They currently sit at 39-22, 4th place in the Eastern Conference. In the preseason, ESPN projected the Heat to be the 7th seed and finish with a measly 43 wins. Not only are the Heat on pace to win 52 games, but they’ve fared well against good competition as well. They could use another star-caliber ball-handler (Jimmy has had to play some point guard as a result, leading to him averaging a career-high 6.2 assists per game), but the progression of extraterrestrial Bam Adebayo has been a major factor why the Heat can compete with anybody. Mainly, well, because Bam can guard anybody. He hounded reigning MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo in their game on Monday as one of the maybe handful of NBA players who can actually do so. Bam ranks third in Defensive Real Plus-Minus among players listed as power forwards, behind only Jonathan Isaac (who was putting together a really awesome season before getting hurt… again…) and… Giannis. Bam still has work to do offensively (ironically, some of the same work Giannis has to continue to improve upon. You could see him have issues with the space bestowed upon him by Brook Lopez against Milwaukee on Monday), but he has all the looks of an even more athletic version of Draymond Green with his ability to bring the ball up the floor and create for himself or others (the Heat’s offense is 5.3 points per 100 possessions better with Bam on the floor vs off of it). 

But Bam isn’t the only surprise success story for the Heat this season. Kendrick Nunn was the people’s choice for Rookie of the Year for a hot minute. While that faded as Ja Morant and Zion Williamson stampeded over the rest of the NBA, Nunn has shown flashes of scoring, mostly as a secondary playmaker. Duncan Robinson is already one of the best shooters and movers without the ball in the NBA. Rookie Tyler Herro is like a really good mixture of the two of them in one. Derrick Jones Jr. is not only one of the best dunkers in the league (rightful dunk contest winner, I might add!), but provides tremendous versatility defensively, often playing both in the front and back of Miami’s potent zone defense. Add in a great mix of solid veterans such as Goran Dragic, Jae Crowder, Andre Iguodala, Kelly Olynyk and even Meyers Leonard, and suddenly the Heat is a team that no one wants to play.

Yet while Miami has a lot going for them, they still have areas to improve upon. For all the flak the Sixers get for their road woes, and rightfully so, the Heat are not much better away from South Beach, sitting with a road record of 13-18. As great as Butler was in the clutch last season, that hasn’t translated much over in Miami this season, as Miami is in the bottom third of the NBA in clutch situations, with a Net Rating of -13.2 points per 100 possessions. The only playoff team with a worse net rating is the Dallas Mavericks. For as great as Jimmy and Bam are, they could use another star player to ease the load and make offense easier. Fortunately for the Heat, help could be on the horizon in the summer of 2021, where many stars could become free agents and the Heat have plenty of cap space following the trade of Justise Winslow to the Memphis Grizzlies, unloading the contracts of Dion Waiters and James Johnson in the process. Stars… like Giannis Antetokounmpo. It is going to take a lot, and I mean a lot, to take him out of Milwaukee, but if ever there was a team with the ingredients to lure him out of the land of cheeseheads, it would be Pat Riley and the Heat. That potential and an upper-echelon playoff team? Not bad for a team some dubbed among the bleakest of futures not too long ago.

For all the good Miami has done, such as drafting Bam Adebayo with the 14th pick overall, Tyler Herro 12th overall, and finding guys like Duncan Robinson and Kendrick Nunn, none of this happens without Butler. Look at the situations he left versus where he’s at now. The Chicago Bulls are going nowhere and have as many wins over teams above .500 without the biggest piece of the trade with Minnesota for Jimmy Butler (Zach LaVine) as they do with him: 1. The Minnesota Timberwolves just had to trade for D’Angelo Russell before Karl-Anthony Towns started a mutiny of his own and are 18-42 on the season. The Sixers are a mess in their own right and trail the Heat in the standings. Yet here Jimmy Butler is, not only surviving but thriving. The NBA’s sith lord may hate you or you may hate him, but that doesn’t matter to him. He hasn’t won yet in terms of winning a championship, but make no mistake about it: he’s already won.

[funface2]

The Best Jokes from the Alec Baldwin Roast on Comedy Central – Collider.com

To some, Comedy Central’s annual roast is like the Super Bowl of comedy. And this year’s distinguished honoree, Alec Baldwin, makes for a particularly great football to kick around. Not only has he endured as an award-winning film and television star for more than 30 years, but he has survived all kinds of tabloid incidents, from fistfights with photographers, to the embarrassing voicemail he once left for his “rude, thoughtless” daughter. He has also hosted Saturday Night Live, America’s foremost comedy institution, more than anyone else in its history. The point is that Baldwin’s remarkable life offers a lot of material to work with. The Comedy Central Roast of Alec Baldwin airs Sunday night, but Collider was invited to the live taping last week, and with a dais that included acting legend Robert De Niro, transgender icon Caitlyn Jenner and controversial comedian Adam Carolla, you can bet there was plenty of friendly shade thrown and shots fired.

Sean Hayes served as a surprisingly strong Roast Master for the evening, and joining him and the aforementioned trio on stage were doctor-turned-actor Ken Jeong, NBA star Blake Griffin, SNL‘s Chris Redd, Sabrina the Teenage Witch star Carolina Rhea, roast ringer Nikki Glaser, and the Roastmaster General himself, Jeff Ross. Plus, there were two surprise roasters, Alec’s daughter, Ireland Baldwin, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, who may need to be put down soon, as his shtick is getting a little long in the canine. And yes, that is a tooth joke, for all the dentists who read Collider.

At one point, I thought Lady Gaga was going to roast Baldwin (who introduces Ally’s SNL performance in A Star Is Born), via video, but she was just announcing that she and Comedy Central had a made a cool million-dollar donation to Exploring the Arts, a charity that supports arts funding. That’s always the first thing to go when there are budgets cuts at schools, so it’s a worthy cause, and hey, isn’t that worth it to get Lady Gaga on your broadcast? Methinks so.

Image via Warner Bros.

Glaser brought her A-game, as you’ll see below, but that’s what I expected from a pro. Griffin, on the other hand, dunked on everyone with the kind of confidence that only a jock can muster, and truly surprised me with his ease and timing on stage. I should’ve seen it coming, too, as Griffin once held his own in a roast battle against Ross, who underestimated his competition and was lucky to squeak by the All-Star forward back in the day.

Jenner deserves a medal for what she was put through during this roast, but she gave as good as she got, and went toe-to-toe with some much more experienced roasters. De Niro did his thing, but at that point, he’d been on stage for close to three hours and it was getting late, so the energy — both his and the crowd’s — wasn’t quite there. And Carolla stayed right on brand, using most of his time to rail against #CancelCulture instead of Baldwin. Speaking of whom, when it was Baldwin’s turn for rebuttal, he showed everyone why he won two Emmys for 30 Rock — he can deliver a hell of a zinger.

So put that remote down — remotes are for closers — and check out the #BaldwinRoast on Comedy Central on Sunday night. Here’s a little sneak peek of my three favorite jokes from each roaster. Naturally, parental discretion is advised…

Sean Hayes

“No offense, Blake, but I’m a better ball handler than you.”

“Caitlyn, being here tonight is the bravest thing you’ve ever done, but don’t worry, any parts you don’t like will be cut.”

“Alec once said I was like a brother to him, which is why we haven’t talked in 10 years.”

“Alec, this will be the funniest thing you’ve been a part of that Tina Fey didn’t carry you through.”

Grade: A Hayes made for a surprisingly solid Roast Master and his introductions for each roaster were some of his funniest jokes, especially his intros for Redd and Jenner. I thought he did a good job setting the tone for the evening with his strong opening set.

Nikki Glaser

“Blake, you look like a black guy made by a printer that was running out of ink.”

“Robert De Niro… I can’t believe I get to share this stage with you, and by that I mean the final one of your life.”

“Stevie Wonder sees his sons more than you do, Caitlyn. I mean, even Casey Anthony knows the current location of her daughter!”

“Alec, you’ve had four kids with Hilaria, which is incredible, because isn’t your semen just oatmeal at this point? Oooh, Robert got excited when I said ‘oatmeal!’”

Grade: A Glaser was really the ringer of the evening, as she’s really the only one flexing that comedy muscle every night. It showed, as her set was absolutely vicious.

Image via Warner Bros. Pitures

Ken Jeong

“Chris Redd… just like on SNL, your jokes have been cut for time. Let’s move on! Scroll, scroll, scroll!”

“Alec, you have five kids with two different women. Why can’t you be more like the investors in your films and just pull out?”

“Robert, I’m a great doctor, but even I can’t resuscitate your career.”

Grade: A- Ken Jeong’s jokes alternated between network sitcom and edgy cable series, so to speak. Some were a little corny, but the clever ones really hit the mark, especially Jeong’s delivery of the Redd joke above. Hopefully that one makes its way into the broadcast, which will inevitably leave some punchlines on the cutting room floor.

Chris Redd

“If you wanna hide something from Robert De Niro, just put it on a SNL cue card, because he can’t read that shit!”

“I’m excited to watch an old man figure out trans pronouns in front of a live studio audience.”

“Caroline looks like she leaves her baby in a hot car to meet firemen.”

Grade: B+ Chris Redd got off to a rough start but he recovered and finished strong.

Caitlyn Jenner

“Back in the day, Alec and Bruce were like brothers. That’s one more brother he’ll never talk to again.”

“Adam Carolla is so boring. I’ve never seen a drier pussy in my life, and that’s coming from me. See Adam, women are funny!”

Grade: B+ Jenner closed her set with an inspirational message, telling trans viewers ‘if I’m strong enough to sit up here all night, you can handle anything,” and telling her critics “if you have a problem with that then you can suck my dick… if you can find it!”

Caroline Rhea

“Jeff Ross, you are one fat Jewish man. I feel like you took “Let my people go!” out of context.”

“Alec Baldwin worked as a busboy at Studio 54, where he had to clean up jizz and coke every night. That’s exactly what Nikki looks for in a shampoo!”

“Where are your brothers tonight? God knows they’re not working!”

Grade: B Rhea may have stuck out like a sore thumb on the dais but she held her own onstage and took all the jokes about her weight in stride.

Blake Griffin

“Caroline, if you’re here then Salem the Cat must’ve turned it down. Sorry Robert, I know how much you like black pussy.”

“Caitlyn Jenner’s pussy is so young that Alec just called it a “rude, thoughtless little pig.”

“On behalf of the entire NBA and half the rappers on the Billboard charts, thanks for giving your daughters daddy issues.”

Grade: A Griffin showed his roast experience, dunking on the entire dais, and forcing the industry to wonder, should he be starring in Space Jam 2 instead of LeBron James? Could he be the next Dwayne Johnson or Dave Bautista? The charisma is there…

Adam Carolla

“Ken Jeong showed his dick in The Hangover, and Ken, I haven’t seen a dick that small since I took my nephew ice-fishing!”

“If you were offended tonight, please give a reach-around to your emotional support dog and shut the fuck up!”

Grade: B Carolla works a bit better in longer-form, where he can build up a head of steam. His jokes were good, and I liked how he pushed back against the Comedy Police, but it felt like he left a few punchlines on the table.

Ireland Baldwin

“It’s hard being the daughter of an iconic movie star, but I’m not here to talk about my mother… or her Oscar.”

“It’s nice to be on a runway without starting beef with American Airlines. I mean, why would you start shit with the one place still playing your movies?”

“At least you taught someone the ABC’s!”

Grade: B+ Ireland was the surprise roaster of the night, and frankly, she deserved a few minutes of revenge years after her father left that terribly mean voice mail on her phone. She has grown up to be a beautiful woman, and she showed a lot of poise on stage considering the fact that she isn’t paid to deliver lines, and many other roasters struggled in front of the live audience.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

“I thought Jimmy Kimmel was here but I was just smelling Adam Carolla’s finger!”

“Alec, your fuse is almost as short as Chris Redd’s IMDb page!”

“Alec Baldwin once made an appearance on Sesame Street. It was the only way he could get close to an Oscar.”

Grade: C I’ve gotta be honest… Triumph’s shtick is getting a little old… in terms of both human and dog years. When an actual dog is stealing the show from you, what does that say? 

Image via Warner Bros.

Robert De Niro

“After tonight, Rocky and Bullwinkle won’t be the worst thing I’ve ever done!”

“I was in Goodfellas, and I bet Sean has also been in some good fellas.”

“Comedy Central wouldn’t put Caitlyn Jenner on a roast until after her transition so they could pay her 20 percent less.”

Grade: C+ I just don’t think this was the right format for De Niro, who struggled with the teleprompter. He was OK, but his timing wasn’t 100 percent. Too bad Comedy Central couldn’t afford to de-age him like Netflix. I heard enough Old De Niro jokes to last me a lifetime. The man is the greatest actor ever, and it just felt weird watching everyone tee off on him like that, but at least he’s a good sport!

Jeff Ross

“It’s a Saturday Night Live reunion! Alec Baldwin plays Donald Trump. Robert De Niro plays Robert Mueller. Chris Redd plays Kanye. And Caitlyn Jenner donated the dick in the box!”

“Robert De Niro is a method actor. I just wish that method involved reading the script, Bob!”

“Caroline, you look like the schoolteacher all the kids hide behind during a shooting.”

“Adam, you once said that women aren’t funny. Well, they are, and let me tell you, you should’ve hired some to write your jokes tonight!”

Grade: A- The Roastmaster General was pretty damn great, and his set was consistently good. It didn’t have quite the same highs as, say, Nikki Glaser or Blake Griffin’s, but he didn’t have many stinkers in the bunch, and he definitely seemed to get extra camera time.

Alec Baldwin

“Blake, moving from LA to Detroit is so sad. That only happens when a prostitute’s body is sent back to her family.”

“Nikki, were you the flight attendant I was rude to? What devastating comment can I make that Nikki hasn’t already muttered to herself in front of a mirror at Equinox?”

“Ken, the hardest possible title for you to pronounce is Glengarry Glen Ross.”

Grade: B+ Baldwin got some good licks in when it was his turn to respond, but the roaster is always in a tough position at these things, because we’ve already heard 3 hours of jokes about each individual on stage, so it becomes harder to surprise the audience as the night wears on. Still, for a guy who made ‘Always Be Closing’ famous, he scored as the evening’s closer.

Image via New Line Cinema

Image via NBC

Related Content

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Source link

Bài viết The Best Jokes from the Alec Baldwin Roast on Comedy Central – Collider.com đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/best-jokes/the-best-jokes-from-the-alec-baldwin-roast-on-comedy-central-collider-com/

[z-exie]

There are people who just don’t get what the hype is about with superhero movies and it’s simple: they tell a good story.

Except for the first Hulk movie. Wtf with that one.

In context of the Ironman, Captain America, Thor, Spiderman, Antman, and upcoming Black Panther, Captain Marvel franchises, all of storylines were strong enough to stand alone while coming together to tell a wonderful action and heartfelt tale about camaraderie and choosing between what’s truly right and wrong at any cost. This is the basic storyline you’ll find in elementary literature like, oh I don’t know, comic books!

Side note: Is Dr. Strange going to be a franchise?

What Marvel has done here is complicated this storyline a bit so that it’s better suited for adult audiences while keeping the imagery and action colorful enough to keep the attention span of a kid. Albeit, Endgame was a little PG13, but whatever.

Promo Poster

While this storyline that Marvel calls “Phase I” is riddled with superheroes like War Machine, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Falcon, Vision, Scarlet Witch, and The Winter Soldier, the story as a whole seems to revolve around Ironman, Captain America, and Thor.

Promo Poster

Tony Stark – Ironman

This dude sets it off, but not on purpose. Ironman, played by Robert Downey Jr., was created as a means of escape when he got kidnapped by some dudes so they can get access to his warheads—the commodity that made him a billionaire. Tony’s character took on the persona of a narcissistic “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist” who, according to Captain America, “wouldn’t make the sacrifice play” when it came down to it.

Rogers was right, but then he was wrong. So wrong!

Damn! Damn! Damn!

The Ironman franchise goes on to introduce Black Widow, War Machine, and Pepper Potts. As this particular storyline progressed it became more about how tortured Tony Stark was becoming about his unknown destiny. Ever since The Avengers (2012), the monkey of Thano’s army led by Loki (Tom Hiddleson) had been on Stark’s back which was why he created an army of centurions (Ironman 3 and Age of Ultron). Tony was also torn by the carnage that The Avengers left behind (Spiderman Homecoming offers a great perspective of this) and sided with the Sokovia Accords (Captain America Civil War) that required all superheroes to register their superpowers so that the government can regulate them. In other words, Tony was starting to give a damn. So throughout this 11-year period, Tony Stark went from a narcissistic billionaire playboy who made his fortune from warheads to a family man who made the ultimate sacrifice play to save the world.

Before biting the big one, Tony Stark went back in time on a time heist mission with the remaining Avengers and was able to reconcile with his father. This gave him a final peace within himself for a proper ending to his character. It was sad, but it was also beautiful.

Promo Poster

Steve Rogers – Captain America

Played by Chris Evans, Captain America went from being a puny little dude who the army didn’t even want to an enhanced soldier who became as symbolic as the American Flag. So when he went against the Sokovia Accords, he was committing the ultimate treason against his country. But even then, it seemed righteous. His beard was supposed to reveal his “dark” side I guess, but it was like “woo-hoo!” Still, Steve Rogers seems to be the compass for leadership here, so the pendulum of his character’s evolvement doesn’t swing too far to the left or right but it swings, believe that!

Seriously, it’s like Captain America can do no wrong. Throughout the 11 years, his character’s transformation basically went from good to honorable to worthy enough to wield Thor’s hammer. I mean…

In the Captain America franchise, Falcon (Anthony Mackie), the Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan), Spiderman (Tom Holland), Antman (Paul Rudd), and Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman) is introduced to the team. The Scarlett Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) and Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) was introduced in Age of Ultron.

In the Endgame, Steve Rogers also had to fight himself. He knew what his own strengths and his weaknesses were: his best friend and the love of his life—and used one of them against himself. It wasn’t brawn. It was wit that won himself over.

Rogers goes back in time only to realize his life is really…back in time when he crashed into the ice. He’s been trying to convince everyone to move on from the whole Thanos (Josh Brolin) apocalypse when he never moved on from his own personal apocalypse where he was the one who disappeared from the world. After returning the Infinity Stones to their rightful timeline, he then returned himself to his own rightful timeline. After living a full life, he came back as an old man to pass the Captain America mantle on to his boy, Sam Wilson (Falcon).

He’s back and he’s black!

Promo Poster

Sam Wilson – Falcon – Captain America

Wait a minute: A Black Captain America?

Yes! The Falcon (Anthony Mackie) is now Captain America, folks! There should’ve been a roar of applause in all of the black theaters because just think about it… Captain America…of the United States…is black. If Marvel does a fraction of what they did with Black Panther’s storyline in terms of embracing black culture and society…ya’ll don’t hear me!

Black. Captain America.

It’s like being able to tell some fictitious stories of what might happen in a world where the leader of a free world that was built on racism and bigotry was led by a black man.

I’m here for it, baby! Cut the check and take my money!

Promo Poster

Thor Odinson, Ruler of Asgard

Oh my god, Chris Hemsworth’s character is the most colorful of them all in Endgame and I enjoyed every scene he was in! Talk about character development.

Screenwriting 101 teaches us that every character should start one way and end the total opposite, more or less. Marvel totally did that with Thor. I mean, he was the sexiest, most confident, and strongest Avenger. By all purposes of this fictional story, he’s a god! So to end Phase I with him being overweight, drunken, and insecure is hilarious! Although, you can’t blame the dude. It seems that he of all the Avengers lost the most. His entire family got murdered, but not before getting his butt kicked by his sister who gauged his eye out, his entire planet was annihilated, and anyone who was left was handled by Thanos—or so we thought until Endgame. Apparently, some Asgardians were left. Plothole, but whatev’s.

In the Thor franchise, Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) and a new kind of Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) is introduced.

In Endgame, Thor goes back in time, retrieves his hammer and accidentally receives much needed counsel from his mother. Who doesn’t want their mommy when they’re down and out? I mean, if you can’t confide in your mother when you’re fat and travel back in time, who can you talk to?

It’s clear that Thor’s storyline isn’t over since he’s boarded the Guardians of the Galaxy’s ship. However, the arc of his storyline in Phase I is satisfying nonetheless. We all want to see more of Fat Thor so this is going to be great!

Promo Poster

Natasha Romanoff – Black Widow

I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson). I just don’t really think she’s gone. Probably because I know there’s a Black Widow movie in the works. Here’s the thing though: There’s been so many Black Widowish movies out like Red Sparrow and Peppermint, one wonders how Marvel is going to make her standalone movie…stand out. For one, Marvel fans already know this character, but not really. I’m thinking this could be a prequel for us to find out what actually may have happened in Budapest with her and Hawkeye. We’ll no doubt get more insight to Nat “having red in her ledger” (Avengers) and her flashback in Age of Ultron. There could also be a flashback/time jump in her movie too, I’m speculating. Just as sure as War Machine could be in Black Panther movies, Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) could also make an appearance in her new Ironman suit in the Black Widow movie. Tony Stark will live on in the Marvel for sure! Also, am I tripping or…

Is Black Widow in the New Spiderman Movie?

What Does it All Mean?

So what have we learned here? Ironman had to see his daddy. Thor had to see his mother, and Captain American had to face himself. Even superheroes have to get right with who they are and where they come from before winning the game. Did it take 11 years to say that? Perhaps. Sometimes, it take people an entire lifetime to get it.

What’s the Fate of the Other Avengers after Endgame?

There’s so many more sub storylines to dissect like Nebula’s (Karen Gillan) daddy, sister, and self-issues—all which played a crucial part in the Endgame plot. There’s Hawkeye’s (Jeremy Renner) whole rouge ninja gig and him adopting an Asian kid. What’s up with that? Bucky’s a.k.a. The Winter Soldier’s (James Buchanan) relationship with Wakanda as The White Wolf (Infinity War), and what happened with Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) to make her cut her hair? Last, but never least, Mr. Bruce Banner finally embracing all of who he is, the good, the bad, and the green, but really, who’s willing to read much more of this? I totally get appealing to people’s attention spans and I thank you guys for skimming through this article. I hope I offered a new perspective in terms of storytelling.

The Mystery Kid at the Funeral

I found out that’s the kid in Iron Man 3 who he gifted with all that stuff in the garage, if you didn’t know that already. Ok. That’s it for now.

Guess I’ll see you after Spiderman Far From Home if it’s good enough!

Written by Zorina Frey

Written by Zorina Frey

Avengers Endgame: What Does it All Meannn? What did we just spend 11 years of our money on? There are people who just don’t get what the hype is about with superhero movies and it’s simple: they tell a good story.

[flauntpage]

The (Relatively) New Lineups We Can’t Wait to See

One of the great pleasures heading into every NBA season is generated by the new. From watching marquee free agents, draft picks, and trade acquisitions blend into an unfamiliar environment to closely observing how fixed cores will avoid an obsolete fate. Anticipation builds because change is constant, and nobody really knows what's going to happen until they take the floor.

Five-man lineups don't provide the clearest barometer, but they do help clarify how each team is choosing to adapt, whether their goal is to stay on top or climb the league's mountain. Here's a look at several different units that hold relevance heading into the 2018-19 season. Some are more obvious than others, but all of them deserve your attention.

Kyrie Irving, Jaylen Brown, Jayson Tatum, Gordon Hayward, Al Horford

They’ve looked rough in the preseason—the Indiana Pacers and Chicago Bulls were the only two teams with a worse offensive rating—but of all the iterations in Boston, this exact grouping was built to dominate today's NBA with a comfortable foothold in its future. At worst, this is Death Lineup karaoke, with Horford as an older, calmer, better shooting/less nimble version of Draymond Green, Irving’s offensive wizardry hoisting the entire franchise to a higher level, and three interchangeable stars (either in the making or cemented) on the wing.

They can switch just about everywhere on the defensive end (a quality that’s especially helpful when the game spurts into open-court chaos) with five players who can create their own shot against opposing teams that try and defend them the same way. Everyone can shoot. Everyone can pass. Everyone has either made an All-Star team or has the potential to do so for years to come. We only saw this unit play five minutes last season. This year, the Celtics will only go so far as it can take them.

Chris Paul, James Harden, Eric Gordon, P.J. Tucker, Clint Capela

Much has been made about Houston's ostensible stumble through a momentous offseason. The loss of Trevor Ariza and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute (two ideal complementary pieces), the addition of a teetering Carmelo Anthony, and associate head coach Jeff Bzdelik’s sudden retirement gave birth to a meditation on Houston’s staying power as a juggernaut. Most, if not all, of the discussion is little more than concern trolling.

At the end of the day, Houston will open the 2018-19 season with five of its most important players back from a 65-win team that could’ve/should’ve won it all. This particular group isn’t new, but it might as well be: Paul, Harden, Gordon, Tucker, and Capela have only registered 24 minutes. (In the 45 possessions they logged during the playoffs, Houston outscored its opponents by 15.6 points per 100 possessions.) The Rockets may blow this to bits with a mid-season blockbuster trade that includes one of these key contributors (likely Gordon and/or Tucker), but if they keep it together there won’t be a more effective or complementary collection of talent found in any one unit outside Golden State (and maybe Boston).

There are four back-breaking three-point shooters—two of whom double as first-ballot Hall of Famers and all-galaxy playmakers—surrounding a rim-rolling paint protector who gets notably better every year. In the final five minutes of a close game, how do you stifle this offense? Seriously. How do you attack a committed and disciplined defense that switches everything with above-average pieces at just about every position? Sure, they’re a little small—Ariza’s absence hurts most here—but all of them play larger and stronger than their height, thriving inside a system that emboldens them to behave like running lava.

Last season’s Rockets were one of the best teams to ever fall short of a title. In year two of the Paul-Harden era, they may be even better when it counts the most.

Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, Kevin Durant, Draymond Green, DeMarcus Cousins

Deep analysis isn’t required here. Given the stakes, relevance, and staggering aesthetics, anyone not interested in seeing how Boogie Cousins (however healthy) fits in with the most impressive foursome in NBA history might as well quit the NBA for good.

Victor Oladipo, Tyreke Evans, Bojan Bogdanovic, Domas Sabonis, Myles Turner

My first thought was to have Thaddeus Young in for Sabonis, not knowing if Nate McMillan could find someone for his third-year big to defend in the last five minutes of a close game. But Young isn’t a good enough outside shooter to tilt the scale in his favor, so Sabonis gets the nod for being a superior passer who can really squeeze a defense from the post. Good luck out-rebounding the Pacers when this group is on the floor. It’s unclear how many teams will be able to combat Indy’s sheer size on either end when this lineup is on the floor.

Beyond having two centers share the frontcourt, what's most intriguing here is the absence of any one "true" point guard. Instead, Oladipo and Evans will complement each another on both ends, toggling back and forth as capable playmakers who can finish at the rim, knock down a pull-up three, and run an effective pick-and-roll with either Sabonis or Turner.

Oladipo is the breakout star and franchise jewel, coming off a season in which he won Most Improved Player and made an All-Star, All-NBA, and All-Defensive team. But let’s back up and examine Evans for a second. What a variable. Take a look at how his numbers compared to Oladipo’s last season. According to Synergy Sports, Evans ranked in the 86th percentile as a pick-and-roll ball handler and the 83rd percentile in isolation, doing his best on a Grizzlies team that was headed nowhere. Life will be even easier in Indiana, especially in this unit, where he may be the third (or even fourth) option. It’s hard to find a better spot for Evans at this point in his career.

Elsewhere, last season Bogdanovic made over 40 percent of his threes and posted a 60.5 True Shooting percentage (both career highs), while Turner is already one of the league’s most intriguing young bigs, a shot-blocking madman who can roll or pop. Bogdanovic will likely regress, but if he can at worst remain static while three others (especially Oladipo) display some growth, this unit will be a nightmare.

Dennis Smith Jr., Wesley Matthews, Luka Doncic, Harrison Barnes, DeAndre Jordan

This obviously won’t be seen until Barnes returns from his hamstring injury, but it could be worth the wait. The Mavericks have Dirk Nowitzki, but elsewhere they are fledgling. Smith Jr. and Doncic are the future. Barnes, Jordan, and Matthews are each within a few seasons of their respective primes. Together, they possess a dynamism that’s been missing from every lineup Dallas has put on the floor in over a decade.

If Jordan gobbles everything from the glass, can stay healthy, and still suck help defenders off the three-point line on hard dives towards the rim, so many of Smith Jr. and Doncic’s growing pains will fall into a safety net. If Barnes, in a contract year, doesn’t hijack the offense and lets part of his game selflessly revert back to the space it occupied in Golden State (this is wishful thinking but not out of line within the context of this unit), Carlisle’s system can be more fluid. And through it all, if Matthews can (hopefully) hold it all together as a grizzled veteran with the team's lowest night-to-night variance, there's no reason why this lineup can't close tight games and post a positive point differential.

Some of this logic requires a leap of faith, for sure. And so much of it is inspired by Doncic’s preseason highlight reel. But even if they aren't great, you won't want to miss them.

Reggie Jackson, Luke Kennard, Stanley Johnson, Blake Griffin, Andre Drummond

There’s a certain amount of nostalgic charm attached to a lineup like this. It features a jaunty point guard who’s supported by a sniper at the two and covered by an athletic wing, with a robust, true-number-one-option at power forward beside a mountainous center tasked with anchoring the defense. On the surface it screams old school, and that's why there are so many reasons to hate it. These five players were all in Detroit last season, but played just about zero minutes at the same time (only four possessions, per Cleaning the Glass). Aside from poor health, the reason why is obvious: There’s not nearly enough spacing or anything close to a defined pecking order on the offensive end, while exploiting them on defense shouldn’t be too hard, given their inflexibility.

But Drummond added a new dimension to his game last year. Stan Van Gundy placed him higher on the floor and let him showcase a passing ability that boosted his assist rate up to 14 percent—more than the sum of his previous three years combined!). Meanwhile, Griffin is uniquely dominant when healthy. Nobody his size rivals his vision or ball-handling ability. It helps form a frontcourt tandem that may be able to do more than tread water when accompanied by the right pieces.

It’s unclear if Detroit has those pieces, but Johnson is still only 22 years old, with the girth and quickness to defend four positions in a pinch. Jackson is two years removed from life as a slightly above-average point guard, and Kennard is the one cast member who can loosen up the floor when he doesn't have the ball. I don’t necessarily think this group will exceed its modest expectations, but the ceiling is higher than people think, especially with Dwane Casey at head coach, able to coagulate a defense that’s already good but can stand to be better.

Rajon Rondo, Lonzo Ball, Josh Hart, Brandon Ingram, LeBron James

This is the exact opposite of the group seen above, with a degree of unconventionality that's both breathtaking and hardly a surprise to anyone who’s watched the NBA evolve over the past six years. I don’t know if it will be good, or if Luke Walton will even be willing to utilize Rondo and Ball at the same time—in tight space with no true center and only one recognizable spot-up threat—but please check your pulse if you're not curious to see how it'd do.

Why not experiment and see how far Einstein-level basketball IQ and absurd talent can take you? LeBron at the five isn’t a new concept, but as the league continues to downsize—a trend no other player is more responsible for—he’s positioned to take advantage in lineups that surround him with players who can see segments of the game develop before they actually do. They turn a defense's crack into a calamitous breach with next-level anticipation. Between LeBron, Rondo, and Ball, it's hard to think of another group that's ever unleashed so many innovative passers at the same time.

Hart and Ingram are here to enjoy it all, from beyond the arc and against awkward closeouts. Outside shooting is an issue throughout L.A.'s roster, but this group will invent ways to make it a non-issue—if they get a chance to play.

Kyle Lowry, Fred VanVleet, OG Anunoby, Kawhi Leonard, Pascal Siakam

As is the case for so many different teams, we don’t really know what Toronto’s best five is right now. But as NBA teams start to favor mischievous off-the-bounce slashers over 3-and-D statues, VanVleet has to be on the floor over Danny Green. A case can be made for Dorell Wright's wingspan in that spot, but Siakam, Lowry, Leonard, and Anunoby are more than enough to make this defense one of the league's best.

There's almost too much to like here. Leonard is at the four, with a mobile, 7'3" wingspan at center. Anunoby can't be left alone in the corner while Lowry and VanVleet wreak all sorts of havoc wherever they are. Picture an inverted pick-and-roll, with Leonard dribbling the ball as Lowry races up to blindside his man with a screen. How the hell do you guard that, with Siakam in the dunker's spot and deadly shooting along the perimeter? Few teams can. The Raptors are going to be so much fun.

The (Relatively) New Lineups We Can’t Wait to See published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

Here are a Few Unconventional Predictions for the 2017-18 NBA Season

Happy Holidays! After a June, July, August, and September that were as wild and unpredictable as any the league has ever seen, the 2017-18 NBA season is finally here! The excitement surrounding this particular campaign is undeniable, even though its end feels more foreseeable than a Seinfeld rerun.

If the Golden State Warriors were not so unfairly stacked, the amount of top-tier talent that was redistributed from one conference to another would be more significant than intriguing. But various predictions must still be made! Here they are, in all their subjectively erroneous glory.

Eastern Conference Finals: Cleveland Cavaliers over Boston Celtics Western Conference Finals: Houston Rockets over Golden State Warriors NBA Champion: Houston Rockets over Cleveland Cavaliers

We begin by going against the grain. Yes, the Warriors are deservedly unprecedented favorites to win it all, armed with more depth, talent, cohesion, and experience than they’ve ever had. They’re so good that it’s tempting to scoff at anyone who chooses another team, but what make sports (including basketball!) so much fun is their inherent volatility.

We know Golden State is the best today. Does that mean they’re a lock to stay healthy, survive a regular season plus three playoff rounds with a humongous target on their back, and qualify for their fourth straight NBA Finals despite several teams in the Western Conference building their own mini-juggernauts with the sole intention of taking them down?

The Houston Rockets are as well-equipped as any opponent Golden State has seen in the last three years. James Harden is magnificent. Chris Paul is historically brilliant. P.J. Tucker and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute unlock the kinds of talented, versatile five-man units few teams can legitimately cobble together to take on the Warriors’ small ball lineups. Eric Gordon and Ryan Anderson are two of the best three-point shooters at their position. Houston adopted a style that led them to become one of the most efficient offenses in NBA history last year, and their defense is now sturdy enough to crack the top 10. This team may not defeat Golden State, but they can certainly go punch for punch.

On the bracket’s other side, Cleveland still has LeBron James, while the Boston Celtics, for the most part, are an unseasoned collection of super-talented individuals who need to prove they can unite as a balled fist. They have 82 games to discover a new identity, but in the end, their youth probably isn’t enough to overcome one of the greatest players in basketball history.

Western Conference Standings

1. Golden State Warriors 2. Houston Rockets 3. San Antonio Spurs 4. Oklahoma City Thunder 5. Minnesota Timberwolves 6. Los Angeles Clippers 7. Utah Jazz 8. Denver Nuggets

The West is a bloodbath, and leaving the Portland Trail Blazers, Memphis Grizzlies, New Orleans Pelicans, and Dallas Mavericks off this list was not easy. But I’ll believe in Derrick Favors until the day he retires, think Blake Griffin is still All-NBA good, and know the Nuggets have enough young assets to improve at the trade deadline.

Eastern Conference Standings

1. Cleveland Cavaliers 2. Boston Celtics 3. Washington Wizards 4. Toronto Raptors 5. Milwaukee Bucks 6. Miami Heat 7. Charlotte Hornets 8. Detroit Pistons

Nothing here should come as a surprise. The bottom of the Eastern Conference is trash, the middle is devoted to mediocrity, and the top is riveting yet flawed.

MVP: LeBron James

Thanks to Kawhi Leonard’s lingering quadricep injury, if LeBron wants to be the MVP—meaning he logs 35 minutes a night, doesn’t sit out, averages close to (or at least) a triple-double, and leads his team to a top seed in the Eastern Conference—he’ll be the MVP.

Sleeper MVP: Jimmy Butler

Narrative is one of the most powerful tools used to construct a case for/against any serious MVP candidate. If the Minnesota Timberwolves finish with one of the Western Conference’s four best records this year (not impossible), there’s a good chance Butler—the only All-NBA player on his team—will duly receive quite a bit of credit.

Butler, 28, and still improving, is in the best situation of his basketball career: a primary option surrounded by two elite youngsters who already know how to hoard points, a decent score-first point guard, and a coach he adores.

If Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins make meaningful progress on the defensive end, Butler’s influence will help explain why. Low expectations are a friend, and it isn’t inconceivable that Butler thrusts himself into the conversation if his individual numbers grow and his team finds success.

Coach of the Year: Quin Snyder

Carrying over from the theme about Butler, Snyder’s advantage over his colleagues is the ability to exceed low expectations. Dante Exum’s shoulder injury was a mushed cherry on top of a basketball-tragic summer. The Jazz lost Gordon Hayward, their only All-Star, but they maintain a bullish identity that will keep them in most games on a nightly basis.

If Derrick Favors stays healthy, Donovan Mitchell contends for Rookie of the Year, Ricky Rubio proves to be all-around upgrade over George Hill, and Rudy Gobert continues to evolve on the offensive end, the Jazz should make the playoffs. Snyder will deserves acclaim for getting them there, but also for installing and contorting a system that best suites all his players.

Sleeper Coach of the Year: Doc Rivers

Ten years ago, Doc Rivers was universally considered one of the NBA’s top three coaches. Today, after several disappointing seasons that were in large part due to his very own porous personnel decisions, the man’s stock is printed on pink paper.

But this year he’s no longer concerned with front office responsibilities, and isn’t pressured to cater to Chris Paul’s ball-dominant demands (which, by itself, isn’t necessarily a bad thing). There’s more versatility on Los Angeles’ roster than before, and for the first time since he left the Boston Celtics, his team isn’t widely considered a lock to make the playoffs.

If Rivers gets the best out of Blake Griffin, constructs an above-average defense, and circumvents the ostensible dilemma L.A. has with its gigantic frontcourt and thin backcourt, it’ll be interesting to see how many people are willing to admit they were wrong by writing the former Coach of the Year off as quickly as they did.

Scoring Champion: Kyrie Irving

Irving is already one of the 10 most dynamic scorers in the NBA, and putting him in the same system that saw Isaiah Thomas average an efficient 28.9 points per game last season could create a nightly fireworks display. Irving is surrounded by Gordon Hayward and Al Horford, two of the sport’s most selfless, talented players at their respective positions, and if his three-point attempts rise to seven or eight per game, there’s a decent chance the 25-year-old will average 30 a night.

Sleeper Scoring Champion: DeMar DeRozan

Why the hell not? He’s the league’s most established bucket-getter who also possesses a clear avenue for improvement. If DeRozan shoots (not necessarily even makes!) threes this season, his scoring average will rise above the impressive 27.3 mark he tallied last year.

Most Improved Player: Rodney Hood

This award is fundamentally about points, and with Hayward gone Hood’s opportunity to score will dramatically increase.

Sleeper Most Improved Player: Justise Winslow

Winslow went from a franchise star in waiting to a dime-a-dozen combo forward with a broken jumper. Is he Michael Kidd-Gilchrist or Paul George? Make a few outside shots and suddenly it looks like the latter.

Defensive Player of the Year: Rudy Gobert

He probably should’ve won this award last year.

Sleeper Defensive Player of the Year: Joel Embiid

If healthy, he’s more a favorite than a sleeper, but Embiid’s body remains the most noteworthy variable in the league. He’s already a premier rim protector, elite rebounder, and quick enough to shuffle out and defend guards on the perimeter. Everything about this man is a nightmare for the rest of basketball.

Sixth Man of the Year: Marcus Smart

This award almost always goes to someone who scores a lot of points off the bench, and that’s very dumb. Smart is svelte and strong, able to impact final scores more than stat sheets. He’s smooth enough to manage an offense and rugged enough to defend four positions. As the NBA-watching community increases its collective intelligence, it’s high time to recognize an all-around contributor who will play over 30 minutes a night for one of the league’s best teams even though his three-point shot isn’t all the way there.

Sleeper Sixth Man of the Year: Patrick Patterson

Perpetually overlooked, if healthy, Patterson should be a member of Oklahoma City’s most dangerous lineups. His two-way complementary impact will be critical for a roster that needs as much shooting as it can get.

Rookie of the Year: Ben Simmons

The most talented player in last year’s draft class is also the most talented player in this year’s draft class. Simmons could’ve/should’ve been an NBA starter during the season he spent at LSU.

Sleeper Rookie of the Year: Malik Monk

The opportunity for big minutes will be there from the start, thanks to Nicolas Batum’s unfortunate elbow injury. Monk averaged 15.6 points in five preseason games, can shoot threes, and is surrounded by competence. He won’t be a net positive because very few rookies are, but numbers might be there to support a case for this award.

First Team All-NBA

Guard: Steph Curry Guard: James Harden Forward: Kevin Durant Forward: LeBron James Center: Anthony Davis

Second Team All-NBA

Guard: Russell Westbrook Guard: Kyrie Irving Forward: Kawhi Leonard Forward: Giannis Antetokounmpo Center: Karl-Anthony Towns

Third Team All-NBA

Guard: John Wall Guard: Chris Paul Forward: Blake Griffin Forward: Jimmy Butler Center: Nikola Jokic

Apologies to Paul George, Kyle Lowry, Damian Lillard, Gordon Hayward, Draymond Green, Klay Thompson, Al Horford, Mike Conley, Marc Gasol, LaMarcus Aldridge, DeMarcus Cousins and all the other very good players out there who didn’t make the cut.

Here are a Few Unconventional Predictions for the 2017-18 NBA Season syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

[giantsfootball0]

Carmelo Anthony’s messy, painful and complicated legacy with the New York Knicks

A few weeks into the 2014-15 season, a handwritten message appeared on the whiteboard in the New York Knicks’ locker room.

“The pain that you have been feeling can’t compare to the joy that’s coming … Romans 8:18.”

The message was designed to give hope to a Knicks team in the opening stages of a free fall, but the words take on a new meaning now for Carmelo Anthony as he heads to the Oklahoma City Thunder for Enes Kanter, Doug McDermott and a 2018 second-rounder.

It’s a transaction that shakes up the NBA and makes a Western Conference power even more dangerous. It was eerily similar in scope to the three-team, 12-player trade that sent Anthony to New York seven years ago. In many ways, Anthony’s legacy as a Knick can be summed up in the same way you’d describe these two trades: extremely complicated.

Early in the 2014-15 season — a few months after Anthony signed a $124 million deal to remain with the New York Knicks — he was already having second thoughts about his decision.

After one vexing home loss, Anthony shared his frustration with a few friends at the arena. One friend summed up Anthony’s mindset at the time: “He said he should’ve signed with Chicago.”

It wasn’t the last time Anthony questioned his decision to re-sign with the Knicks. Over the next three seasons, it became clear that Anthony and New York, under team president Phil Jackson, were stuck in one the NBA’s most dysfunctional relationships.

So now that it’s over, how do you unpack Anthony’s time with the Knicks?

Zach Lowe highlights key faces in key places in his annual rundown of the NBA’s most fascinating players and teams.

There’s a new leader in the crowded race for the No. 1 pick, as well as more movement in the top seven.

What upcoming draft picks does every NBA team owe and own? Here’s our team-by-team breakdown.

2 Related

Some will remember him as a ball-stopper whose preferred style of play ultimately impeded the Knicks’ ability to win. There’s merit to that theory.

Others will hang onto the idea that Anthony never had a chance to truly succeed in New York because of the Knicks’ perpetual roster and coaching instability. There’s plenty to support that point as well. As is usually the case, the truth probably lies somewhere in between.

The raw results during Anthony’s Knicks tenure aren’t pretty. New York never advanced past the second round of the playoffs, and the club missed the postseason entirely in each of the past four years. The Knicks finished 207-269 during Anthony’s six full seasons and went 1-3 in playoff series.

But how much of that was Anthony’s fault?

His six-plus seasons in New York were filled with constant turnover. A half-dozen executives and coaches were hired and fired during Anthony’s tenure. He had 72 different teammates in his last six seasons. That’s the sixth highest total in the NBA in that span and 10 more players than the NBA average.

“I’ve had nightmares about that,” Anthony said late last season.

If you want to start a fun argument among Knicks fans, ask them who Anthony’s most talented Knicks teammate was. Was it Amar’e Stoudemire? Kristaps Porzingis? Tyson Chandler? A 40-year-old Jason Kidd?

Of course, Anthony’s detractors will point to his isolation-heavy style of play as a reason for the revolving door of executives, coaches and players.

People around the Knicks will always question whether Anthony did enough with the hand he was dealt.

Anthony has a chance to restart his career in Oklahoma City with Paul George and Russell Westbrook. Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

Multiple teammates over the years complained privately about the ball stopping in Anthony’s hands. They lamented his poor habits on defense. (Last season, Anthony finished 66 out of 70 qualified small forwards in ESPN’s defensive real plus-minus). One veteran Knick went as far as telling friends that he “hated” sharing the floor with Anthony because of those traits.

But this wasn’t a uniform opinion.

Anthony engendered loyalty among many of his teammates, particularly the younger Knicks. One Knick last season told his agent that if Phil Jackson traded Anthony, he’d want to be dealt to the same team. That loyalty, at times, went both ways.

Case in point: Shortly after Cleanthony Early was shot in the leg during a robbery attempt in his second season, Anthony told Early that if he were cut, he’d help ease any financial burden he incurred, according to people familiar with the matter. “That was real,” one teammate said.

Whatever goodwill Anthony built with teammates didn’t always transfer to management. Some in the Knicks front office started to sour on Anthony after Kristaps Porzingis emerged as a potential franchise player after his rookie season.

Several top members of Knicks management told associates that they felt they couldn’t win with Anthony and that his habits would negatively affect Porzingis and the other young Knicks, according to sources. That whisper campaign turned public, of course, late in the season when Jackson leveled public critiques — some direct, and some indirect — at Anthony. Jackson openly stated his desire for Anthony to waive his no-trade clause, which complicated any potential deals.

Anthony was bewildered by the then Knicks president’s tactics. He told friends that despite the embarrassing episodes on and off the court and the critiques from Jackson, he remained loyal to the organization.

He understood the responsibility that came with being the face of the franchise — “You have to make every shot in this m—–f—-r,” he said once, early on in his Knicks career — and felt that he’d handled it well.

Anthony couldn’t understand why Jackson didn’t have the same type of loyalty toward him.

To most close observers, the beginning of the end for Anthony was on March 12.

Knicks coach Jeff Hornacek lit into the team at halftime of a game that day against the Brooklyn Nets. While Hornacek unloaded in an expletive-filled critique, Anthony sat in the corner.

Coaches giving R-rated critiques of their team’s play at halftime isn’t unusual. But something unordinary happened that afternoon.

The normally laid-back Anthony — his preferred social media hashtag is #StayMe7o — was moved to respond. And it wasn’t pretty.

According to people familiar with the matter, Anthony said to no one in particular that “this whole thing” is a “joke” and added “f— this place” loud enough for most in the room to hear. Associate head coach Kurt Rambis responded to Anthony directly, asking him if he had anything to say to the group.

“Yeah I have something to say: this place is a ‘f—ing joke,” Anthony responded.

Rambis, using the same expletive-laden phrase, then questioned Anthony’s effort. Things didn’t escalate from there, but it was clear to most around the team that Anthony was done with the Knicks.

In the ensuing weeks, Anthony was still thinking about staying in New York to remain close to his son amid a family situation and stay in the city that he comfortably called home. He thought about leaving as well, but was concerned about being seen as a player who “bounced around'” during his career, according to people in touch with him at the time. Still, Anthony kept coming back to the idea of starting over in a new city and with a new team — a feeling that ultimately won out.

Anthony will start his new NBA life on the Thunder. In OKC, he’ll be paired with the kind of elite talent in Russell Westbrook and Paul George that he never shared the floor with in New York. There’s reason to believe that those two — along with center Steven Adams — can help bring out the deadly Team USA Melo that observers have seen over the years.

Will it be enough to contend with the defending champion Golden State Warriors? We’ll begin to find out in a few months.

In the meantime, Anthony leaves behind more questions than answers in New York. The club is looking to go young now and views its core of Porzingis, Tim Hardaway Jr., Frank Ntilikina and Willy Hernangomez as a strong foundation to build upon. New additions Enes Kanter and Doug McDermott (both 25) fit that timeline as well. But New York has a big void to fill with Anthony — and his 22 points per game — headed to the Thunder.

For Melo, it’s a new start with a new team, but that old whiteboard message in the Knicks locker room still rings true.

Anthony felt plenty of pain amid all of the losing over the past three seasons in New York. He won’t be around to feel any of the joy that’s coming — if it ever does.

Maybe he’ll finally find it in Oklahoma City.

The post Carmelo Anthony’s messy, painful and complicated legacy with the New York Knicks appeared first on Daily Star Sports.

from https://dailystarsports.com/2017/09/23/carmelo-anthonys-messy-painful-and-complicated-legacy-with-the-new-york-knicks/ from https://dailystarsports.tumblr.com/post/165660091001