#and another adult handed me alcohol and told me to go lay down

[rottenpumpkin13]

What if...

Sephiroth starts getting letters instead of Santa because of his stunts? _(┐「ε:)_

 

 

(Hope your holiday was a good one — and that eggnog you mentioned in that one post turned out well!)

*Sephiroth is in his office, where an alarming pile of letters is stacked on his desk. Angeal, Genesis, and Zack walk in*

Angeal: What's with all the letters?

Sephiroth: It appears the local elementary school decided to have students type their Santa letters on school computers this year. Unfortunately, the system's autocorrect replaced "Santa" with my name.

Genesis: Oh, this is priceless. The great Sephiroth, recipient of children's capitalist delusions. What do they even want from you?

Sephiroth: I'm appalled by how these children view Santa Claus as nothing more than a symbol of greed. "Dear Sephiroth, I want a playstation, a pony, and for my little brother to disappear forever. Love, Jessica."

Zack: Classic Jessica.

Sephiroth: "Dear Sephiroth, my dad said I can't have a pet lizard, but I think you're cooler than my dad, so you'll give me one, right? Love, Ricky."

Genesis: These brats are bold. I like it.

Sephiroth: And here's the most disrespectful one so far. "Dear Sephiroth, I want my own private island with a dragon, but not like a scary dragon, more like a cute dragon that matches my aesthetic and has good vibes. Love, Zack."

*Everyone looks at Zack*

Zack: Oh, come on! Zack is a super common name. So just because some ungrateful brat asked for an island and a pet dragon, you guys automatically assume it's me? You guys suck! I'm so much better than that!

Sephiroth: "P.S.: Actually make it two dragons, that way my buddy Cloud Strife can have one too. We're gonna name them Shredder and Ripper."

Zack: Hell yeah.

[somanyratsinthewalls]

congrats on 900 followers! id like to request for a mixture of prompt 9 and 19 with maroon (mihawk) — not particularly smut but a bit of fluff included in it, have a good day or night!

-anon 🪐

Coincidence (+18)

THANK YOU ANON FOR REQUESTING! (Sorry I made it smut but theres plenty of angst cuteness too)

Pairing: Dracule Mihawk x Female Pirate!Reader

Prompts: “It’s fine. We’re all adults. We can sleep in the same bed.” And “Getting you naked was only part of the plan.” 

WC: 2900

TWs: pet names, p in v sex, fingering, dirty talk, savior complex, previous alcohol mention, same bed! Swearing, kissing, idk? This is literally porn. 

— — 

“Good morning, little rabbit.” A low voice swims in your head. 

Your eyelids flutter open. Everything is blurry. You’re laying in sand. Rain is pouring and you’re chilled to the bone. 

*BOOM*

A clap of thunder snaps you fully awake and you start to cough up sea water. You heave yourself on your hands and knees to better expel the water from your stomach and lungs. 

“I was sure you’d never wake up.” The voice came from above you, clearer now. 

Once you caught your breath, you realized there was a pair of black boots in front of you in the wet sand. You crane your neck upwards to be met with the smug smirk of Dracule Mihawk, towering over you in the storm. 

“H-how? Y-you? W-what?” You croak out, body starting to shiver violently. 

“Now do you really want me to answer those questions right now, or would you like to come to my room at the inn down the road before The Great Pirate Y/n succumbs to hypothermia? An awful pitiful way to go out for a pirate captain, if you ask me.” He extends a hand to help you stand. 

You roll your eyes and push yourself to your feet on your own. 

Mihawk chuckles and lets his arm fall back to his side. 

“Allow me.” Mihawk gestures to offer for you to follow him and heads to the cobblestone road from the beach. You hated the idea of seeking aide at the hands of another pirate, let alone one as dangerous as him… but the chill in your body and the ache in your chest were forcing your hand. 

You follow him into town. 

— — 

After trying to keep up for several blocks, eventually Mihawk ducks into a nondescript establishment and holds the door open for you to follow. You step forward to move past him to enter the inn. 

The first floor was dimly lit with oil lanterns and smelled of rich red wine and a wood burning stove. There were only a few patrons seated around the bar, none of which turned to look at you as the door was opened. The doorway was narrow so you had to turn your body to enter as Mihawk was still holding the door for you. As you brush past his chest he leans in to your ear and whispers. 

“Stairs on the right. End of the hall. Be quick about it, before you drip all over the poor barkeeps floor.” His voice was low and teasing. 

A deep shiver ran down your spine. No doubt due to the cold, wet clothing you were wearing, of course. 

You nimbly flit up the stairs, sure that the former warlord was following closely behind as you could hear the clacking of his boots on the wooden steps. Mihawk catches up to you as you reach the door at the end of the hall. Without a word he uses a key to unlock the door and pushes it open for you. 

You step inside and are immediately met with the glow of firelight and the smell of cologne. Seeing the blazing fire in the fireplace, you rush to throw yourself to your knees on the bearskin rug laid out in front of the fire. 

You put your hands over the flames and you start to be able to feel your fingers again. You sigh in relief. After a few moments of enjoying the fire, you remember that you aren’t alone. Mihawk was standing against the wall, just watching you… arms crossed and feathered hat cocked to one side. The firelight glinted like topaz off his deep golden eyes as you met his gaze. 

“How did you find me?” You manage to rasp out, finding your full voice again. 

“A little birdie told me you were on your way to make an arms deal with smugglers somewhere in the area. I knew you’d come alone and your foolhardiness would ignore the incoming storm. Figured you’d wash up on the shore sometime.” 

“A little bird? Or a little clown?” You quip back and rub your hands together over the blaze. “Stop talking like you know anything about me.” 

“Was I wrong?” Mihawk is quick to retort. “The Cross Guild has eyes and ears everywhere. I am privy to endless amounts of whereabouts and information on the Grand Line.” 

“And yet…” You stand. “With all that information at your disposal, you choose to end up here. Pursuing me.” You cock your head in inquiry. 

The corners of Mihawk’s mouth twitch upwards briefly before returning to his stoic expression. 

“You may wear my dressing gown for the night. You’ll catch your death if you spend another moment in those soaked rags.” The man says and nods towards the ensuite lavatory. 

You take a moment to weigh your options… you hated to admit, but Mihawk was right. You needed to fully dry off before you caught pneumonia or worse. You push past him without saying a word into the bathroom and close the door behind you. As you close the door you see a floor length robe made of exquisite purple silk… this must be the dressing gown he was referring to. You stripped yourself of your sea-water soaked clothing and laid them on the side of the clawfoot tub to dry. 

You looked in the mirror and were horrified. Your hair was tangled and your skin was littered with abrasions and decorated with sand and small wood debris from the wreckage. 

You sigh. 

You grab the washcloth from the side of the sink and turn on the knobs. Once the water was warm you soaked the cloth in the water and gently cleaned your face and body. The soothing temperature of the washcloth allowed you to relax more and you let our a long sigh as you rubbed your aching neck. 

You set the washcloth down and straightened your hair the best you could, sorting out the tangles and knots with your nimble fingers. 

Once satisfied you picked Mihawk’s dressing gown off the hook behind the bathroom door. It was crafted of a fine royal purple silk with intricate gold embroidery on the collar and the sleeves. You slip it on and cinch the tie around your waist, fully covering yourself. It was a bit large, seeing as Mihawk was much bigger than you, so the left shoulder began to fall as soon as you left the bathroom. 

You enter the suite and your eyes find Mihawk’s hat and jacket discarded on the armchair. 

You hear the gentle sound of liquid being poured and you turn your head. You were met with a shirtless Mihawk clad in nothing but sleeping trousers, pouring two heavy glasses of brandy on the end table next to the bed. This was the first time you realized there was nowhere else for you to sleep than the singular king-sized bed in the center of the room. 

“No need to worry. We’re all adults here. There should be no issue sharing a bed.” Mihawk approaches you with two glasses of brandy in hand. “Feeling better?” He asks, almost playful. He extends a glass to you. 

You take it. 

“Aye. A bit.” You say as you take the glass of alcohol, your fingertips brushing against his as you grip the cup. Suddenly you were reminded of the last time you shared a drink with this particular man… 

Your cheeks flushed and you looked to the floor. You had been so caught up in the drama of being shipwrecked and half-dead that you had forgotten the last time you had seen Dracule Mihawk… 

“Why did you come here? Just to get me naked in your hotel room?” You ask. 

Mihawk turns his back to you and sits on the bed. 

“Oh darling, getting you naked was only part of my plan. You deal in arms… The Cross Guild happens to be in the market. I thought we could strike a friendly deal, little rabbit.” Mihawk sips his brandy. “We can offer triple whatever that scoundrel was willing to pay.” 

“Well the cargo has been lost since the ship crashed but… wait how did you know I’d be here? This island?”  You take a sip of you drink for courage. “You were accurate enough to know when and where I’d wash ashore? How?”

Mihawk smirks. He rises from the bed and fishes his hand into his trouser pocket. He steps closer to you. He pulls out a piece of soggy paper from his pocket and holds it in two fingers in front of your face. 

“You don’t remember slipping me this?” Mihawk coos as the scrap of paper drips a bit onto the floor in between you both. 

“My..” You gasp softly upon the realization of what he was holding in his hand.

“Yes, rabbit, your vivre card. You stuffed it into my jacket before you scampered off. You don’t recall?” Mihawk says, teasingly, cocking his head down to catch your avoidant gaze. 

It was all coming back to you now…

Five months ago…

It was a loud, shady pirate bar on some shit-hole island your crew had docked at to resupply. It had been days since your ship’s booze supply had run dry and you used the opportunity to get good and sauced at the local tavern. At some point in your revelry, Dracule Mihawk had entered the very same bar and somehow you ended up on his lap… despite how much you claimed you despised him. How did it happen? Maybe a few featherlight touches across your waist… maybe a few dirty little nothings whispered in your ear… but all you could remember now was you melted like putty in his strong arms in the corner of a filthy dive bar. The memory was foggy but you remember stroking the sides of Mihawk’s carefully groomed beard and pushed your lips onto his with passion… 

“You remember now, yes?” The voice snaps you back to the present. 

You say nothing, embarrassed. You take another large gulp of brandy. 

“I-I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” You rush past the large man in front of you and whip the comforter open. You slide in the bed. “W-we can talk business in the morning.” 

“If you wish.” Mihawk says with a sigh. 

Mihawk sets his glass down on the side table and extinguishes most of the candles in the room, leaving a few to burn to the wick overnight. You feel the comforter move across your body and the mattress beside you dip. You curl on your side away from the man laying beside you. You shudder, the chill of being nearly drowned still wracking your bones. 

“You’re freezing.” Mihawk states before smoothly shifting to his side and wrapping his arm around your side. Your body tenses and he feels it. “So shy now, but not as much the last time we met?” You feel his hot breath against your ear. 

“Well, we were drunk, so…” You huff out, trying to ignore the flush growing in your cheeks. 

“And yet…” Mihawk starts. He slides his hand down your bicep to your hip, then further down to your thigh. His palm reaches your knee and gently pulls on it to hook your leg over his own, successfully opening your legs up for him. “Here you are now, completely sober and still soft and open for me…” 

Your breath catches in your throat, unable to respond. Mihawk’s strong hand climbs up your torso again, this time gliding across your stomach and into your robe to grip your right breast softly. You gasp as he squeezes and runs his thumb across your nipple. 

You feel a gentle grind of Mihawk’s hips against your backside, shuddering as you distinctly make out the largeness of his member between your cheeks. The former warlord’s nose nuzzles your scalp sweetly as he presses his lips closer to your ear. 

“Do you feel that? I’ve been waiting so long since you ran away…” Mihawk whispers as he presses his hardened cock further into you. “Tell me… little rabbit… why did you run from me?” 

You press your ass back harder into Mihawk’s pelvis and whine. 

“No no, tell me. I was ready to take you to my chambers and ravish you until the sun rose….” Mihawk purrs as he slides his hand from your breast to between your legs and cups your mound. “Tell me why you fled my arms that night.” He presses his middle finger on your seam, gently stimulating your clit. 

“I… I don’t know…” You manage to croak out. 

“That isn’t true, darling… you know that.” Mihawk begins to rub your sex in gently circles with 3 fingers, softly encouraging you to give in to him. 

“I…I didn’t… want…” You sigh and lean your head back into Mihawks face. 

“You didn’t want what, love? Tell me.” Mihawk leans up further and kisses up your neck to the spot behind your ear. With your arousal growing,  he spreads your folds and uses a single digit to press into your exposed, throbbing clit. 

“Y-you were going to- Ah!” You were interrupted by the sensation of Mihawk dipping a finger shallowly into your hole to gather your wetness to smear across your clit, further heightening your pleasure. “You were going to leave… It- it would have- oh god!” You cry out as two thick fingers suddenly breach your entrance and curve right up into your sweet spot. 

“It would have bothered you to see me leave, little rabbit?” Mihawk teases and leans forward over your shoulder. He slowly pulls out his fingers before pushing them back inside to pull at your favorite spot again. He torturously slowly continues fingering you, feeling the way your insides pulse everything now and then around him, pushing out more of your slick to coat his hand further. “You think I would have let you go without me?” 

You turn your head and open your eyes. You meet Mihawk’s gaze from over your shoulder. You were half drunk on the feeling of his fingers inside of you, but you were almost certain he was confessing to you. 

“Y-you.. Shit- more… please…” You moan and buck your hips upwards into Mihawks hand, trying to get more stimulation. 

“Tch.” He clicks his tongue. “Sweet girl wants more? Already? You must have been thinking about this just as much as I have…” Mihawk says as he speeds up the pace of his fingers inside of you. 

The grind of his palm against your slick clit in combination of his fingers hammering up and down against your special spot quickly sent you careening over the edge of climax. 

“My Gods- Mihawk!” You cry out as you feel yourself gush against your lovers hand and your shoulders shudder forward. 

“There it is, what a good girl you are.” Mihawk slows the pace of his fingers and pulls them out of you gingerly. “I haven’t stopped thinking about the vulgar sounds and expressions you might make when you cum, and it’s far surpassed my imagination.” Mihawk shifts and positions himself on his knees between your legs. “Now let me see it again.” He rubs his tip up and down your wet slit, teasing his mushroom head at your hole. “Tell me you want this. Tell me you don’t and we go back to being adversaries and forget this ever happened.” He purrs down at you. 

“I.. I want this. Please…” You get out through shaky breaths, still recovering from your orgasm. You reach your hand down to wrap over Mihawk’s hand on his member, guiding him to push into you. 

“Anything you want, my rabbit.” He coos as he presses hard into your body, letting out a groan as he bottoms out against your cervix. You squeal and claw at his chest, cunt clenching around his length unpredictably. “Let me take care of you…” 

Mihawk wraps one arm around your torso to push you down further onto his cock while supporting himself with his other one. He leans down and smashes his lips into yours. He kisses you hard as he picks up the pace of his thrusts. You squeak against his lips each time his cock drags against your sweet spot, your body riding up further on the bed with every hard thrust into your sopping pussy. 

Mihawk pulls back. 

“I knew that night I was going to take you back with me. I’ve known for a long time that you were mine… but that night you slipped away…” Mihawk  huffs out down at you. 

You could do nothing but moan in response as you find yourself approaching your high once again. 

“Oh, fuck, oh!” Your mouth drops open as you cum, cradling Mihawk’s face against yours as you scream. Your hips buck and you whimper as your sensitivity starts to get the better of you. 

“You’re mine, y/n. Ah-“ 

With a final gasp and a hard thrust, you feel your lover flood your insides with his warm spend. 

You flinch a bit as you feel the still twitching cock slip from your hole, walls still so slick and sensitive. You were flipped around gently and pulled into Mihawk’s broad chest. You nuzzle sleepily between his pectorals. After several moments of comfortable silence, you break the peace. 

“There was never any business deal, was there?” You ask. 

“No of course not.” Mihawk says with a gentle kiss to the top of your head. 

-- --

[holdinbacksecrets]

uninhibited (and drunk) voicemails from seventeen

forever sending gratitude and love to j @un-love for helping assign these

seungcheol: “i watched you tonight with another man. he held your hand and kissed your forehead. he drank your tea first to check the temperature. he made you laugh. for real. i know because you covered your mouth, still feeling insecure about how far it opens when the reaction can’t be avoided—when the something said was so funny it surprised you. you’re wearing red. your arms were exposed for a while, and i felt my eyes prick with tears at the sight of more tattoos on your skin. ones i didn’t know about. maybe ones you mentioned when they were still just possibilities in your head. not once did i think i wouldn’t see them actualized. not once did i imagine another man’s fingers brushing the ink through the motion of draping his jacket around your shoulders.”

jeonghan: “i’m at home and alone, and it’s wrong to call you. it’s so unfair to call you. i didn’t know how to tell you that the wanting is scary. that the way we love each other is impossible—not for a second do i believe it’s possible to have again, and i’m fucking afraid, probably because i know how much you’ve grown. the thought of letting you down leaves a sour taste, and i’m trying not to be so fucking afraid.”

joshua: “i’m sobering up now, sitting on my mom’s back porch. earlier, i was trying to describe the color of your hair. the best i could come up with was blue frosting like the cupcakes she made for my 10th birthday party. isn’t that outrageous? embarrassing? in my head was a poem, but the alcohol released the silliest set of words i could’ve possibly used to describe a part of you.”

jun: “everything is weird. everyone is strange to me today except for you. i’m drunk. i lost my shoes at some point in the night i think. i can’t recognize anyone around me. their voices don’t sound familiar. i wish you were here. i wish you’d tell me this is miserable for you too; it’s not worth it anymore. would you tell me the truth if i asked? sorry. what a stupid question. i don’t know anyone more honest.”

soonyoung: “i should’ve watched you all day more often. i dream about that. i wanted to, but something always had my attention or interrupted its focus on you. i’m laying here with my eyes closed, imagining all the moments i did watch and wondering if every single one pieced together could consume an entire day.”

wonwoo: “is it ok that i still have your spare key? i’d like to believe it’s something you’d ask to get back, but i wonder if that call isn’t worth making. if the idea of seeing me makes you anxious. but you trust me. out of everyone to still have access to your home, it’s ok that it’s me. i feel sad thinking about it.”

jihoon: “you baked cookies. i froze half of them. there’s one left, and i’m debating whether or not to eat it today. it’s freezing outside, and any view through my window is ruined by the snow. it feels like the perfect night for a cookie with what’s left of my second americano like i can risk losing sleep, but what will be left from you if i give in? everything else feels lifeless—it’s been so long since you’ve touch the clothes and read the books.”

seokmin: “i’m going to a wedding tomorrow. your old neighbor is getting married, and i thought about so many things when he sent me the invitation. i thought he was in love with you for the longest time. remember that? it took me months to admit. then he told me he’s just protective, and i realized there are so many people who see us and care without us ever knowing. so i wondered about a what if between us… what if our paths crossing was shallow and they never intertwined? what if you were just a woman in the grocery store who i’d see once in a while if the timing was right? how long would i think about you before forgetting your face, before forgetting i ever saw you? unless i never would and end up talking about you in my old age to adult children who only know i loved their mother.”

mingyu: “is it ok to call you in the middle of the night? you told me i could. years have passed since that conversation. *laughs* is it strange to think about us back then? how we started on a park bench, basically dated for two years on a park bench. i still think about how your approach to reach me gave away your feelings. you started poised, avoiding eye contact. then it became goofy looks and confident strides before calling my name and skipping to singing the song stuck in your head while you ran to me. i can’t help but wonder what would it look like now?”

minghao: “if you listen to this voicemail, can you tell me what you want? whatever comes to mind after hearing the question. from something small to something weird and the the thing you believe is better left unsaid as if i’d judge the answer, but i won’t. i have no reason to judge you. all i have is curiosity and love and hope for your every day, every want, every touch, every song you sing, every picture you hang, and every night spent barefoot on the balcony- i want to marry you.”

seungkwan: “there’s something on my mind. i’ve wanted to tell you all day. i thought about it at breakfast and started texting you before my manager called and interrupted. so here it is: i used to not understand how tired you’d be with me around. i thought i was boring you for the longest time until i visited my sisters. they exchanged a knowing smile before telling me you’re completely comfortable, that you feel safe enough to slip into the kind of vulnerability that only sleepiness and sleep allow, with your guard lowered, and your heart open. i appreciate how much of you i’ve seen, how deeply i know you—knew you… know you? hmm…”

hansol: “are you traveling? i hope you’re traveling. i know it’s something you promised to do at the start of your 26th year. where did you go? … are you taking lots of pictures? … how does the moon look? that’s your souvenir: the moon in the sky a thousand miles away from home. when you told me the moon thing, i realized i knew nothing about you, and i wanted to know everything.”

chan: “you were in the audience tonight? i didn’t… i wasn’t… thank you for coming. i mailed a ticket, but it was returned to sender. *clears throat* you’re the only person i couldn’t shake wanting to be there. do you know what i mean? people from our pasts we wish could still be present, especially for things they witnessed in early stages. i could shake off all the other absences… old friends, a mentor, but you… *sigh* no way.”

[rafecameronsmistress]

NO ESCAPE

description] Fem Reader x Rafe Cameron x Barry

[summary] After a rough breakup Rafe sends Barry out to find you at a party and what they have for you in store is a nightmare full of pleasure

[cw + tw] 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, abusive relationship, physical abuse, strong language, stalking, non con, alcohol use, drug use, gun use, life threatening, degrading talk, angst, fear, embarrassment, SMUT

[authors note] this one is VERY long and has VERY sensitive triggers, please read at your own risk

‼️ADULT CONTENT AHEAD‼️

Enjoy 🖤

________________________________

Text messages:

- Kie: hey are you coming to Sarah’s party tonight? it’s at the water, i can pick you up

- y/n: i dont know.. after everything that happened with Rafe im afraid he’ll show up and i don’t want to see him right now

- Kie: Sarah told me he wasn’t going because she invited pogues lmao

- y/n: i’ll think about it, i’ll call you in an hour or so

- Kie: kk <3

Rafe and i dated for a year before things got bad, we had our ups and downs but never did i expect him to put his hands on me in a violent way

Rafe hit me for the first time a month ago, he said he was sorry and that he just couldn’t handle the way things were going with his family and business

i gave him the benefit of the doubt because he has been under so much stress and sometimes i add to the problem

two days later he hit me again and split my lip open then screamed in my face because i got blood on his shirt

slowly his i love you’s turned into i hate you’s

it’s hard because i love him so much, he was the picture boyfriend, until he wasn’t

i hid the abuse, i didn’t want people to know, just incase he changed

my friends know we ended badly but they just assumed it’s because Rafe is an asshole, everybody knows he is

the first time he threatened to kill me was the day that i left, that was only a week ago

he held me down on the floor of his bedroom with one hand around my throat and the other holding his pistol to my temple “the next time you speak to me like that again i’m going to put a bullet in your fucking skull, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?” his words spit on me like venom

a part of me misses him and that’s why i don’t want to see him tonight, i’ll cave and end up going home with him, i know i will, because i love him

i lay down in bed and close my eyes, i’ll make a decision in a little while

i fall asleep for a few hours and when i wake up i have another text from Kie

Kie: so Sarah and i decided you ARE coming because we need you!! she told me Rafe will not be there, the boys are coming too nothing bad is going to happen!! get dressed bitch i’ll pick you up at 7

i text JJ, John B, and Pope in a group chat

- me: hey all 3 of you are going to Sarah’s party tonight right?

- John B: yeah i’m here now helping her set up

- Pope: yes i’m picking Cleo up soon

- JJ: yep Kie called me and told me that you’re afraid Captain Douchebag will show up so obviously i will be there… and i would like to drink some alcohol…

- me: thanks boys, see you later <3

i let out a sigh of relief, at least those 3 will be able to handle Rafe if he shows up

i undress myself to take a shower and run my fingers over my yellow healing rib cage where Rafe had kicked me a couple weeks ago

tonight will be fun. tonight will be fun. tonight will be fun. i try to convince myself, i deserve to go out

after i shower i do my hair and makeup then get dressed

i throw on a short pink dress and my birkenstock sandals

7:03pm

text message

- Kie: i’m here

Kie is in my driveway playing music on full blast and dancing like a nut which makes me laugh, i’m always thankful for her trying to lift my spirits

We jam out in the car and get ourselves pumped for the party

When we get there i scan the entire lot for Rafes pickup or dirt bike, neither of which i see

“Relax y/n, he’s not coming” Kie says, she grabs my hand and holds it, we share a smile, hers excited, mine nervous

A giant bonfire glows in the middle of a heard of people

Loud music, beer, liquor, and over 100 people- kooks and pogues combined…

if Rafe isn’t coming, he at least has someone watching

i immediately grab a drink to loosen up so i can enjoy tonight, the first one goes down like water so i pour myself a second

“whoaaa slow down there killa, you’re drinking like me right now!” JJ laughs while nudging my arm “i’ll be right here all night, enjoy yourself, i got you” he says with the sweetest smile

i’m on my 3rd drink and 2nd shot, my cheeks feel rosy and i have the urge to move my hips “Sarah! come dance with me!” i demand while holding out my hand

“sorry babe, my girl needs me” she says to John B getting up from his lap, she grabs hold of my hand and we dance, solo cups in the air

the boys stay close by and enjoy watching us make a fool of our selves while they smoke a joint

my phone vibrates

text message:

- Rafe: don’t drink so much, you’ll get sick

tunnel vision. nausea. panic. swallow it, don’t let anybody know.

“i’ll be right back” i tell Sarah “i need to fill my cup”

“okay” she furrows her eyebrows “you okay?”

i give her a nod and the best smile i could

once i’m out of sight i run to Kie’s car, hopping in and locking the doors, i need to sit down, my heart is pounding out of my chest, i can hear the blood rushing in my ears

*knock knock* i jump out of my skin, i’m met face to face with Barry

“open the door sweetheart” he smiles flashing his gold teeth

this can’t be happening.

i go to grab my phone to call JJ. where is my it?

Barry waves my phone in front of my face taunting me. how the fuck did i drop it?

“open the door y/n, don’t make this difficult” he tugs on the handle “open it, i’m not playing witchu right now” i shake my head “country club wants you to come wit me, y’aint safe here without him” his eyes grow darker, i don’t budge

he gets on the phone, he’s calling Rafe “you either come out on your own or i call him and he pulls you out, your choice” i’m scared. i don’t want to make Rafe mad. but i don’t want to see him. i’m getting a headache.

i make the dumbest decision of my life. i open the door, my hands shaking 100mph.

“that’s it, let’s get you home” he says grabbing my hand hard

my face is burning up. my legs grow weak under me. i’m stone cold sober at this point.

we approach the truck, “Barry please“ i plead “i’m sorry mama, y’know him” he helps me into the passenger seat and buckles me in, “can i have my phone please, i need to tell my friends i went home” i cry “can’t letchu do that, what’s ya password, i’ll text ‘em for you” he says, i shake my head rejecting the offer

he starts the truck and we take off

his phone rings “yeah i got her, she was a good girl, she didn’t fight me” he smirks “we’ll be there soon”

i stay silent, Barry puts his hand on my thigh and i flinch at his touch “what’s wrong sweet thing, scared of a little love?” he laughs

we pull up to Tannyhill, Rafe is standing out front with a whiskey glass in his hand, he raises it and smiles at me

my stomach is in knots

i want to scream for help and run

the other half of me wants to jump into his arms and submit

Barry gets out of the truck and walks around opening my door “c’mon, get out” i jump down and fix my dress and fix a smile in attempt to hide my mixed feelings

“you look nice, who’d you get dressed up for?” Rafe asks “nobody” i reply, he laughs “sexy little thing isn’t she?” he asks Barry, “yessir” he grins

i want to crawl inside my own skin

Rafe grabs me by the arm “let’s get inside” he looks at Barry “you comin? you’re not gonna want to miss this”

he brings me to the couch and sits me down, “what to do with you?” he ponders finishing his drink

“Rafe i want to go home” i whimper

“and you know what i want? a girlfriend that doesn’t dress like a slut and go to parties without me” he seethes “since you wanna act like a slut, take your clothes off, i’ll treat you like a slut” his eyes filled with fury

“i’m not your girlfriend anymore” i whisper

“what was that?” he cocks his head to the side

“nothing” i say

i stand up and slowly pull my dress over my head, my knees becoming weak, leaving me exposed in just my panties in front of him and Barry

“lay down on the couch” he demands, i obey “now touch yourself”

“Rafe please i-“ there’s no use in begging, i bring one hand down to my pussy and run it up and down my panties, the thought of them watching begins to turn me on no matter how hard i try to reject the feeling

“she’s sweet” Barry says licking his lips

“wait til you taste her” Rafe says deviously

their words go straight to my heat, i rub my clit in circles arching my back, trying not to let out a sound

“come here” i say holding my hand out to Rafe, my pussy aching for him

“you’re gonna finish yourself off first” he smirks

Barry adjusts himself clearly growing hard, Rafe watches me like a hawk not missing a beat

i pick up the pace now craving dick inside of me, i throw my head back and whimper coming closer to an orgasm, the band in my belly snaps and my legs start convulsing, i ride out my orgasm and when i’m finished i beg to be fucked “come here- please”

Rafe looks at Barry “try her out” he says patting him on the back

the look of fear on my face. Rafe would never let someone else look at me nevermind fuck me.

“since you wanna act like a slut..” he says shrugging his shoulders, then topping off his whiskey

i become embarrassed, im attracted to Barry but being on display is not something im used to

Barry gets comfortable in the chair and pats his lap, he undoes his belt and slides his pants down to his knees, his hard on is enormous even through his boxers

i try to contain my arousal and walk toward him, looking at Rafe for approval, he nods

i lower myself to my knees and pull Barry’s erection from his boxers, it fills my entire hand

“i ain’t even gotta ask to get my dick sucked, you got this one trained man” he laughs

Rafe walks behind me and manspreads on the couch enjoying every second of this

i seal my mouth on Barry, bobbing my head up and down while working my tongue inside “shhhit” he groans, saliva begins dripping out the sides of my mouth

i go to work on his swollen cock, his moans encouraging me to get the job done “that’s it baby” he takes a sharp breath in

“get up and sit on him, facing me” Rafe commands from behind

i rise from the floor, turn around, push my panties to the floor and kick them off

i slowly seat myself on Barry’s length, i gasp taking all of him inside my cunt

his hands reaching in front of me to grab my breasts, he holds onto them and starts pumping into me from below

i try to hold myself up on the arms of the chair while i’m staring directly into Rafe’s lust filled eyes

“ohhmygod- yes- fuck me-” i moan in between breaths

“how does she feel?” Rafe growls not taking his eyes off of me “like a million bucks country club” Barry replies while slamming his hips into my ass repeatedly

“flip her onto the chair and fuck her brains out” Rafe instructs

Barry pulls me off his lap and flips me around, my chest pushed into the chair and my ass in the air he slams into me showing no mercy

i can’t control the sounds coming from my mouth, moaning, whimpering, and screaming at the way i’m being used

Barry pulls out of me and releases on my ass leaving my pussy dripping “you like that shit huh?” he says rubbing my slit from behind “taste her” Rafe says, Barry sticks his fingers in his mouth savoring the taste of me “just like candy” he tells Rafe

my torso still on the chair and my knees on the floor i lay there weak, trying to control my breathing

Barry gets dressed and pours himself a glass of liquor, sitting in the other chair

“c’mon we’re not done, get up” Rafe says, i try to stand but my legs are weak “i think you broke her” he laughs looking at Barry “sorry man, she’s got great pussy” he says

Rafe walks over to me and wraps his hand around my throat, lifting me to my feet, he sloppily kisses me and without warning plummets two fingers inside of me causing me to scream

“who’s pussy is this?” he asks pushing deeper inside of me, “it’s yours” i choke out, his hand still tight around my wind pipe,

“say it again” he growls

“it’s yours Rafe, i’m all yours” i plead

his hand slips into my hair and he guides me to the couch by my head using me like a rag doll

he throws me down on my stomach then pulls my hips into the air

“look at you, you’re a fuckin mess” he smacks my pussy causing me to cry out “you like that?” he smacks it again, i wince in a mixture of pain and pleasure

Rafe pulls me up by the back of my head “open your mouth” i open and he sticks his fingers inside, i suck his fingers just like i would suck his cock, Rafe loves having his fingers in my mouth “dirty fuckin slut” he says

he removes his fingers and forces them into my tender vagina, he works his hand slowly like he’s dissecting my insides, i move my hips back and forth trying to fuck his hand my pussy screaming to be pounded

“she just can’t get enough huh?” Barry says “i told you she was a good one” Rafe smiles

his slides his warm fingers out of me and spits on my cunt, i feel it drip down to my clit “please-“ i look back at him

Rafe pulls his shorts and boxers down exposing his delicious throbbing cock, he’s leaking precum

i brace myself

he taps the back of my pussy with his dick a few times before sliding it in, i feel myself become full of him “i gonna fuck you like i hate you” he whispers

guttural screams escape my lips as he sinks deeper into my swollen used hole, he feels so good

he pushes my face into the couch “shut the fuck up and take it”

i turn my head to the side to catch my breath and see Barry sipping on his liquor enjoying every moment, i hold eye contact with him while i cry out

Rafe picks up the pace, the sound of our skin smacking engulfs the entire room

it all becomes too much, the overstimulation is extreme, i reach back trying to push him away

“i ain’t done” he growls grabbing both my arms and pinning them behind my back “i’m gonna fuck MY pussy as long as i want”

i’m screaming at this point, i can feel him in my stomach, a new sensation arises in my pussy, stronger then an orgasm “Rafe i- i can’t-“ and then i feel a release and a gush of liquid between my legs

“squirting on me like a dirty whore” he smacks my ass hard, “i fucking love it”

“please- please-“ i sob begging him to stop, my body convulsing, eyes rolling in the back of my head

Rafe slams into once more before cumming inside me, he pulls out and places a gentle kiss on my ass

my body goes limp and i lay flat on the couch, he pulls my hips back up and holds them there, “stay up til you soak all of me in”

i lay there defeated, used, and bruised

Rafe wipes the sweat from his brows and puts his pants back on, he walks over to the table and pours himself another glass of whiskey, clinking cups with Barry

they sit across from my numb body and watch me recover

“you’re such a good girl” Rafe praises “you’re never getting rid of me”

[latolover]

pathetic!odasaku

cw: implied one night stand and mentions of alcohol, yandere odaxfem!reader. part of it was inspired by @shumidehiro fic, The Wingman

( tldr, i tried to make oda like, some sort of disgusting gentlemanly simp. go soft on me pls ive never posted any writing ever in my life )

  …

What if, instead of being a stable adult, Odasaku suffers from a series of bad relationships. Toxic, abusive, everything in between, you name it. Oda is too forgiving that he would let these women walk over his folded body, it's not his fault right? He just had too much love to give. He loved every one of them and tried his best. At first he thought he was into tall beautiful women, maybe a quick-witted one as a bonus but looking back, he’s down to settle with just about anybody. Truth be told, Oda didn't regret any of his past relationships, it was real love and he could even say that he led a good life.

  Yet here he was, drink in hand, crying over a breakup that happened a month ago. His hunched back form caught your attention, you've seen many patrons come here to this bar just to get drunk, while you're not one to pry into another’s life, sometimes you are worried and curious as to how they ended up here. After nudging this lifeless body, he didn't seem to react much, if, at all. You hummed and turned around, intending to return to your own table but before you could take a step away, a heavy weight dragged you down. This pathetic stranger was crying in your arms, apologizing and begging you to stay with him. His hold on you was very, very strong. The broken man kept sobbing into your clothes, staining it with tears and snot, yuck. Sure the urge to console him was there but he was kinda causing a scene, getting some glances from the bartender even. Eventually, you managed to pry him off and shoved him back in his little corner, where he sat silently again. You sighed in relief, definitely shouldn't have done that.  It was nearing closing hour when you were signalled by the bar’s owner to come over. Turns out the man from earlier was still passed out on his table, maybe just barely conscious. One of the perks of being a regular was that you obtained the owner's trust, yet in this case you might think the opposite. Tasked with securing this man’s safety and shelter, you begrudgingly helped him but there was no way you're going to let a total stranger crash your place for the night. Instead, you searched his body, looking for any belongings that could hold personal information. Bingo, you found an ID in his wallet with an address on it. Slinging one arm over your shoulder and supporting his waist, you hailed a ride and headed to your destination.

   Oda woke up with a nasty hangover, laying in bed for a couple more minutes before getting out, noticing that his clothes were nearly folded beside him. He did not remember undressing nor how he was able to get home in the first place. no matter how hard Oda tried, there seemed to be a lot of holes in his memory. A loud knock took him out of the trance. Quickly, he haphazardly threw on some clothes before letting you enter his room. 

“Plus, last night you were pretty energetic.

The air was tense. Oda was visibly red after you broke the news, even after you've forgiven him many times, claiming that you too were drunk last night and yet he was still disappointed in himself for succumbing to his carnal desires, downing the glass of water he was given. He stared at the half empty cup, his reflection stared back. “If you keep slouching like that, it’ll become permanent”, you joked. “My body isn't what it used to be”, he replied. “Stop making yourself sound older than you actually are”

You paused.

  By some miracle, you and him became drinking buddies. At first, you turned down his offer of treating you but he insisted, said it was to make amends and that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if you refused. Sure it was awkward but you both somehow formed a chemistry together and that was how you came to learn about Oda’s misfortunes in the dating world. He’d share his experiences with women and you'd sit and listen, sometimes laughing at his past other times you’d get angry at his stead. Once, he got stood up by his partner on the day that he was going to propose. Poor guy was cheated on multiple times, used for his good looks and money, etc. With every new relationship he enters, he leaves depressed and exhausted. For that amount of past lovers, you're almost surprised he doesn't even have children of his own. The occasional meet-ups has become something Oda looks forward to, a place where he can steam off after a long day at work.

To your surprise, Oda handled it maturely,

  Something’s been bothering you lately, but you can't exactly pinpoint what it is, all you know is that it is related to Oda. Hes so nice that you think he might be a little too nice. Oda often showers you with expensive gifts, from designer brands to flashy jewellery and acts like it's not a big deal, where does he get the money? He won't tell! Oda would always skirt around that question by saying he works overtime for that kind of salary. You thought you could simply brush it off until one day he sat down with you and held your hands. Oda asked for your hand in marriage…! Respectfully you declined, not ready for a life of commitment. But, Oda never stopped. He kept courting you despite the repeated rejections, doubling the amount of clinginess. You began to get annoyed by him but any passive-aggressive remarks you sent were returned with obliviousness. After contemplating your relationship with him for days on end, you finally found the courage to confront him. 

 he accepted his faults and didnt blame you whatsoever. 

“Maybe its time for us to split”, he says as he got up from his seat and left. 

You never heard from him after that day.

Life continued as it was, after work you immediately went home instead of hanging out at the bar like you used to. 

Things were quiet again, but not for long 

.

.

.

.

for you took too long to notice a bandaged stranger who was sitting oh so comfortably on your sofa.

[1-beansss-1]

Dealing with loss...

Part 4

Simon Petrikov x reader

Warnings - mentions of Suicide, SH, Depression, ED, and Alcohol

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

A few hours later, Simon came back. He had doctor princess with him. He walked over to the bed and gently shook you.

"Hey wake up.."

You didn't even move when he tried to wake you up. He shook you harder, but it didn't work.

"They must be in a deep sleep.."

Doctor Princess told Simon. He nodded and moved away. Doctor princess started to examine you. She lifted your shirt and saw how malnourished you were. She grabbed your arms, lifting your sleeves. There were cuts all over your arms, some old, some fresh.

Simon covered his mouth, he knew you were upset but he didn't know about this. He backed away slightly, he was shocked to see this. You started to grumble in your sleep, mumbling incoherently, you where having another nightmare. You shot up in the bed and woke up, you grabbed at your chest. You didn't notice the people in the room.

"Y/N?"

Simon's voice was shakey. You looked up and saw him and the doctor. You moved away from them.

"What the fuck? Get away from me!"

You got angry and Simon walked closer to the bed.

"We're just trying to help.. please.. let us help"

"No.. No.. leave.. get out now! I don't want your help.."

You shook your head and tucked your legs to your chest. Doctor princess sighed.

"If you don't get help, you might die.."

"I don't care! I.. I don't.... I've lost everything.. what does it matter...? I have no one.."

You started to cry, and your body trembled. Simon sat on the bed next to you.

"I'm here.... please just let me help you.."

He turned to face you, he reached his hand out to hold your hand. You flinched at his movement. You looked at him. There was a long silence in the room.

"Alright.. F-Fine..."

He smiled at you and squeezed your hand.

"Can I continue examining you?"

Doctor princess sighed. Simon got up, letting you lay back down. Doctor princess continued to examine you. When she was done, she walked over to Simon.

"They'll be ok, but they need something to eat, nothing too much. They're body isn't used to eating anymore so they need small meals. They could die if they eat too much. They also need a lot of rest."

Doctor princess put a hand on Simon's shoulder and left. You sat up and grumbled.

"Why didn't she tell this to me?"

You mumbled and sighed loudly. Simon rushed over to you and pulled you into a hug.

"You worried me so much. What were you thinking?! Why aren't you taking care of yourself?"

He scolded you and squeezed you a bit.

You let out a sigh. You tried to move away from him, but he held you tightly.

"Let me go.."

You grumbled.

"You could have died, you know?! Died! You hear me?"

He continued to scold you. You sighed and reached up to his face, and you put your hand over his mouth.

"Simon, let me go.."

You huffed and moved your hand away from him.

"Right... right.."

Simon quickly let go of you.

"I'm going to sleep.. go home, Simon.."

"I can't trust you to take care of yourself!"

You grumbled and laid down pulling the covers over you.

"I'm a fucking adult.."

You mumbled and fell asleep quickly. Simon left the room so you could sleep. Simon came into your room to check on you throughout the day. You slept for two days straight.

He came in to check on you. He sat on the bed next to you, hoping you'd wake up soon.

You were asleep still, snoring slightly. You sat up in your sleep and rested your head on his shoulder. You put your arms around him.

"Come to bed Icy..."

You mumbled and leaned over to lay down.

He tried to get up, but your grip tightened.

"Nooo.. you need to sleep."

You mumbled and nuzzled your head in his neck. His face turned red, and he tried to get up again. You pulled him closer towards you and he let out a long sigh.

"I guess I'm staying.."

He took his glasses off and put them on the table. He grabbed the covers and pulled them over the both of you.

"I love you.."

You mumbled and kissed his neck.

"Alright, no! I can't do this!"

Simon grabbed your hands and pryed them off of him. He got out of bed quickly. His face was bright red. You whined in your sleep and rolled over. You curled up into a ball and made quiet noises. He looked back at you and grabbed his glasses, putting them on so he could see.

"Icy.. I'm sorry.."

You mumbled in your sleep. He leaned over on the bed and put a hand on your sholder.

"It's just a dream.. it's ok.."

You moved away from him and whimpered in your sleep. Simon sighed and sat on the bed. He put a hand on your sholder and squeezed it slightly.

"It's just a dream..."

He repeated. Your body relaxed a bit and you stopped making noise. He got up and sighed. He left the room and went to the living room. You slept for another whole day.

You woke up in the afternoon, thinking only a few hours had passed since doctor princess came, but it had been three days. You sat up in bed and got up, walking to the living room. Simon had fallen asleep watching tv on your couch. You sighed and tried to pick him up. Your body felt too weak. You gave up and just grabbed a blanket for him. You put it around him and turned the tv off. You sat next to him and fell asleep, falling over onto him.

He woke up when you fell on him.

"Huh.. oh, I fell asleep.."

He rubbed his eyes and looked at the blanket on him, then over to you.

"Even when you're feeling bad, you're nice.."

He mumbled and put a hand on your head, brushing the hair out of your face. He looked at the time and figured since you had woken up, he should make you something to eat. He slowly got up so he wouldn't wake you up. He gently laid you down on the couch. He walked to your kitchen and opened the fridge. He went grocery shopping while you were asleep, so there was plenty of food.

"Hmm.. I don't know what you'd like.."

He mumbled to himself and tried to remember as he looked in the fridge, but he couldn't, so he just grabbed something random. He made you a small portion of food and walked back to the couch. He sat the plate down on the table and tried to wake you up.

"Hey.. I got you something, wake up."

You grumbled and put your hand on his face.

"Five more minutes.."

Simon chuckled and grabbed your wrist, moving it back down.

"Hmm.. well, alright, but your food might get cold.."

You opened your eyes and rubbed your face.

"What? You made me food? Why?"

Simon grabbed the plate on the table and handed it to you.

"Because you wouldn't do it on your own, would you?"

You looked down at your plate and felt embarrassed that you had to be taken care of.

"I'm not a child.."

You said as you started to eat, it felt weird to eat again and you felt slightly nauseous, but you ignored the feeling.

"Of course not.. I'm just trying to help you get better.."

You let out a loud sigh, feeling bad that you were being mean to him.

"I know.. I'm..I'm sorry.. I'm not used to, uh.. all of this...."

You finished your food, it was a bit difficult for you but you did it. You looked up at him and put the plate down.

"When... um, he was still alive.. I ate when he did.. I guess it's easier to remember to take care of yourself when someone needs you.."

Simon nodded. He knew exactly what you meant. He put a hand on your sholder and squeezed it slightly.

"Simon.. um... I can't believe you're so patient with me.. so.. uh... thank you.."

You let out a sigh and leaned forward, putting your hands on your face. You felt tears forming in your eyes.

"Grod, I'm such a shitty person.. I'm so mean to you, I push you away so much.. why... why are you still here? Stop being so nice! I deserve to be yelled at.. or.. or something.. I..."

Simon put his arm around you and pulled you close to him. You started to sob and tried to stay quiet. You were ashamed of crying so much in front of him.

"I'm sorry, Simon.. don't look at me.. I'm a mess.. I.. I cry too much.. I'm too emotional.. why do you even try to help me?"

Simon held you tighter and you put your hands off of your face, letting your arms go limp.

"Stop being so hard on yourself... you're so kind and sweet and caring.. you're such a good person, you think of others even when you're feeling bad. You.. You took care of me when I was The Ice King.. it takes a special kind of person to put up with him.."

His words comforted you till the last part. It made you a bit mad.

"Simon.. I love....."

You paused and clenched your teeth. It was difficult to use love in the past tense. It made you admit he was actually gone.

"I loved him.. I didn't just put up with him.. he cared for me.. I know you didn't like him but.."

You started to feel frustrated. It made you mad when people talked about him like he was some kind of unlovable monster.

"Sorry.. I meant that not many people cared for him.. "

You sighed and nodded.

"Yeah.. I don't really understand why.. he had his moments, sure, but he was so kind to me.."

You paused for a second

"Simon..I.. I'm sorry I brought up the Ice King so much.. I know how it bothers you.."

"It's alright.. the way you talk about him makes him seem like an amazing person.. you know.. I.."

Simon paused, feeling a bit embarrassed to admit what he was about to say.

"I.. I used to dress up like him.. and try to get as cold as possible.. I thought it would help me cope.. but I think it made it worse.."

You looked up at him and felt embarrassed. You did the same thing.

"I.. I.. I still wear his clothes.."

You and Simon chuckled a bit at how similar you two were. You started to feel tired again, and you sighed.

"I've been sleeping all day.. I don't want to sleep more."

You mumbled and rubbed your eyes.

"It's alright.. go to sleep, you need it"

You sighed again. You really didn't want to go to bed. You wanted to continue to talk to him. It was nice.

<<< First / << Previous / Next >>

[noa-de-cajou]

Idalia and Zuza belong to @soupedepates and Louis (mentioned) to @corneille-but-not-the-author

______

Aïcha dumped me.

I kinda felt it coming, to be honest. As soon as she asked me to meet up after class. We sat down in our usual café, and she told me she didn’t feel like this was gonna work out, that we were probably better off as friends, the usual breakup speech.

We lasted, what, two months? A month and a half? Longer than most of my previous relationships. We’re both aiming for an history degree and we bonded on a shared project about political relationships between muslims and christians. The only arguments we’ve ever had were about which period we were going to make that damned presentation on.

I’m sort of relieved, as usual. Maybe I'm a bit of an asshole for that, but the more it went on, the more awkward it got. At least she didn’t throw a fit, she didn’t storm out. We actually hung out after agreeing to stay friends and talked about french presidents and showed each other memes and it felt nice.

But now she went home, and I feel weird for some reason. I should be glad that I didn’t get any drink thrown at me for my lack of tears or that she didn't block me, but some of the stuff she said just won't leave my head.

I take out my phone. 5pm. Milosz is still in class. I don't want to go home yet if it's just to sit in an empty living room feeling bad about myself.

He doesn't even know I was dating someone. No one knows. Mid-september to mid-november and I didn’t tell anyone. I'm not like the rest of them, I don't like talking about my dating issues. They can ramble about their relationships all they want, but I’d rather keep mine private. I don’t owe them to anyone. I’ve seen what can happen to people who are careless enough to make everyone know about it.

The screaming and the broken arm and the hospital and the tears and the

Yeah. Anyway.

I’d much rather sit and listen to Bazyli’s misadventures with Kaspar, seeing Milosz pine or Bronya being all touchy-feely with Louis.

Or maybe you're ashamed.

…

I feel worse.

I open the family group chat. Andrzej is spamming it with deepfried memes again. There’s talks about Kamil’s upcoming birthday. Tobiasz sends pictures of him with his girlfriend, it's probably the universe giving me the middle finger. But apart from that, nothing of note. Nothing for me to fix or help with.

I need to be needed somewhere. Anywhere.

There has to be somewhere I'm needed…

Suddenly I remember Milosz saying something about forgetting his sweater at Zuza’s last time he came to help rearrange furniture. Every time I need an airhead, I can always count on him.

I text Zuza to ask if I can come by to pick it up. She replies quickly, “no problem”, and the weight on my chest eases a little.

I take the bus to the apartment complex, dial the code, ring the bell. Familiar gestures, almost automatic, comforting.

The door opens.

It’s not Zuza.

It’s her girlfriend, only wearing jeans and a sports bra, she's barefoot, how, it's cold as fuck today, her ginger hair going all over the place, and a beer in hand.

“Well, if it isn’t Streetlamp.”

Wow, another joke about my height, how creative.

“I have a name, Idalia.”

“I forgot it.”

“It’s-”

“I know your name, kid. Learn how to take a joke, will ya?”

I don’t like Idalia.

I don't like how she walks around Zuza’s apartment like she owns the place. I don’t like how she lays flat on the couch with her feet hanging. I don't like how she leaves her empty cans everywhere (and not just cans of alcohol, coke, lemonade, protein shakes??). I don't like her son, but nobody does. I don’t like her attitude towards me, like I'm some brat, even though I'm an adult and she’s only seven years older than me. I don’t like how loud she is. Anyways, I don't like Idalia.

“So, watcha here for?”

“Picking up Milosz’ sweater. He forgot it.”

“Oh yeah, that. Zuza washed it. It's on the chair.”

“Thanks.”

I go and pick up the sweater. It would be too short and large on me but it’s the perfect size for Milosz. It’s old, stained, falling apart a little. At least it smells clean, blessed be Zuza.

I can feel Idalia’s stare on me and it makes me uncomfortable. It's time for a painful attempt at small talk.

“It’s weirdly quiet today. Where's Dmitry?”

“Eh, he's at Tekla’s this week. You don't know how good it feels to be able to take a piss without a mini you attached at your leg.”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

She raises an eyebrow, I groan as I fold the sweater.

“I have six brothers. The youngest is in middle school. Took care of them a bunch.”

It used to be seven.

“Ah yeah, I get that.”

I know. I know your family, my older brother went to school with yours. I know we had similar lives. Similar dads. Similar moms.

Shit, pure shit, all of it.

“I don’t have to do that anymore, thank the fucking gods!”

I grit my teeth.

Do you know how fucking lucky you are to be able to see all your brothers at any time

No you don’t, of course not

We're the exact same so why are you so fucking

Lazy

Irresponsible

Careless

You uncaring bit-

“... You good, kid?”

I let out a heavy breath. I open my backpack and try to make the sweater fit.

“Yeah.”

Idalia takes a loud sip of her beer. It makes me want to shove it in her face.

“I think I saw your brother, recently. The oldest, I mean.”

“Lucjan?”

“Yeah. Nice dude.”

Lucjan did tell me that he met her. He’s still friend with one of her brothers, I think. The Adamski and the Lupsowiec were always the problem children. Forges bonds, I guess.

He was surprised when he met Idalia again. She wasn't a girl when he knew her, apparently. He says she looks happier now.

She’s fucking loud about it

I envy her

I couldn't voice anything if I tried

I don't know how to tell anyone what I want

Even less what I am

“You're doing that face again. What’s wrong, Streetlamp? Got dumped or something?”

I freeze. She blinks, goes back into sitting position.

“Wait, for real?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“How come Zuza didn’t know? She knows everything about the dating shit in your little crew.”

“I didn’t tell her.”

Precisely because she repeats everything to you.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. It just didn’t work out. She said we were better off as friends and I think she’s right.”

That's not the only thing she said.

“You know, Simowiet, maybe you should do a little… self-reflection, or something. About yourself, I mean.”

I don't know what she means by that. I know I'm unlucky when it comes to dating. I've come to terms with it. It’s fine.

Maybe you just can’t love anyone properly.

I zip up my backpack. Idalia looks confused.

“Hold up, “she”?”

“Yeah, she. Her name’s Aïcha. Is there a problem?”

“No, but uh, I thought that you…”

“That I what?”

“Well… You know.”

No. I don’t know. That’s what irks me. That, and her eyes full of insinuations that I don't understand. She shrugs.

“Welp. Maybe you should stop trying to date girls.”

…

That's the most unsollicited piece of advice I've ever received and I live with Milosz.

“Thanks for the encouragement,” I reply dryly, “But I don't think you're the person to tell me that.”

“Why? It’s serious between Zuza and me!”

I know.

I just can't figure out why.

You're mean

Violent

Childish

Needy

No better than both our fathers

And yet Zuza’s still with you and I don’t get it because I'm not like you I'm nothing like you I'm nothing like him and yet it's working out

Why is it working out for you

and

never

for

me

Even though you’re a shitty person

…

Maybe

I'm

shittier

“Hey, it’s hard, I get it. You can sit down and talk if you wanna.”

“I don't want to talk to you of all people.”

… I said it out loud. She's looking at me. Her face twists into a snarl.

“Oh yeah? Why not, kid ?”

Don’t you dare

Call me that

In that tone

You're not my parent

You can’t even raise one kid right

“Because you're a fucking-”

Failure

And yet

The door opens. Zuza is looking at us with a raised eyebrow. Idalia doesn't let her talk.

“Zuza, tell your kid that yelling at me ain’t gonna fix his life.”

My cheeks are burning. Zuza looks even more confused.

“Did you yell at her, Simowiet? Did she provoke you?”

Idalia looks outraged at the suggestion.

“No I didn’t!”

I take a sharp inhale, bite the inside of my cheek.

Keep your cool

Everything is fine

You're fine.

“I’m just tired. Sorry, Idalia.”

Apologizing to her makes me want to puke, especially with how smug she looks. Zuza isn’t reading the room at all, which is probably for the better.

“Alright. Do you wanna stay for dinner?”

“No, I was just leaving.”

I don't want your fucking pity

“Thanks for washing the sweater, and I'm sorry Milosz keeps forgetting stuff here.”

“It’s no problem. I’d rather have that than Bazya stealing my stuff, you know.”

“Right.”

Because Bazyli is the only thing that keeps this whole arrangement together at this point

Maybe even our friend group

We’re always the leeches

I’ve always been the leech.

The thoughts are getting meaner. I need to leave.

“I really should go.”

“Sure, I won’t keep you. You're always welcome here, Simowiet, you know that?”

As if.

“Thanks. Bye, Zuza, Idalia.”

“See ya, Streetlamp! My offer still stands~”

I close the door like it’s the lid of my fucking coffin. It’s fine. I’m fine.

I take the way home, a notification rings in my pocket, you're needed, it's a text from Milosz.

“Hey, I'm on the way back from uni, is it okay if I bring Louis over? 🥺”

Louis. Just Louis? Not Bronya or Bazyli? That's unusual. I start to type a reply.

“Want me to leave you two alone?”

No. That's gonna make him uncomfortable.

“Why not bring the whole gang while you’re at it?”

No. Scratch that. I don't want an answer to that.

“I got dumped I'm not in the mood for guests”

… He’s just gonna be worried if I say that. He doesn't have to know.

“If you only need me to be your fucking housewife you could just say so”

What the fuck. No. That's Milosz. He’s my friend. My best friend. Why am I being so mean?

I hear Idalia’s laugh, “yelling at me ain't gonna fix your life”, how ironic coming from her.

“I don’t know. I was just hoping I could get some quiet tonight. Or talk to you. I had a rough day”

… Rough day. I just got dumped, it's not the end of the world.

Stop being so fucking whiny, Simowiet, get it together.

I stare at the text. I start typing again, slowly.

“Sure, no problem.”

And sent. Maybe the period at the end was a little too dry? Oh, fuck it, what’s done is done. The reply arrives quickly anyway.

“Yay! I’ll make dinner for us then! Thanks Sim you're the best 💖”

I smile. A little. He's adorable as always. And his cooking is good.

And you’re a hypocrite.

I put the phone back in my pocket and start walking again. Towards home, I guess. My home that doesn’t feel much like mine anymore.

Aïcha’s face comes back to my mind. Her hand resting gently on mine. Compassionate.

"Maybe you should do some self-reflection, Simowiet. About yourself, I mean."

And

"I’m worried about you, you know."

There’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine.

It’s just not my day.

[matenrou-fan]

Can you write a fic about Werewolf ichiro, please

Werewolf! ichiro with GN! s/o

hii darl, you didn't mention any details so I let my fantasy play a little so here we are!! I hope you will enjoy it..!

GNreader, it feels kinda ooc??;; 1110 words;;

'Don't get too deep into the forest, honey. The beast is always watching..'

Well, maybe you should listen to your parents and other people in the village more properly sometimes..

But you were bold and probably a little bit dumb and naive, being absolutely sure it's nothing but fairy tales for little kids to scare them away from the forest and avoid all this headache with searching for these small perishers later. Yet you are not a kid now, then for what all this farce? It's just annoying now.

Especially due to your love for something new and mysterious, and this tempting woodland near your house always amazes you with its beauty, luring you to step in and get to know this place better. It almost feels like it's not the wind swaying the green-pointed bushes, but it's trees waving to you, begging to dance with them…

So how can you resist the magic of nature itself? Never listening to anyone, you were dreaming about getting deeper than for a kilometer or two in this dark green world, exploring all the beauty from the inside.

All the beauty.. But the only thing you're experiencing now is an unbearable level of fear and shock, as you remember all these words that you always treated like something unimportant.

This guy.. Well, actually, he didn't look that bad at first glance, and when you noticed his figure between bushes, you thought that maybe it's just a local madman or maybe the lost alcoholic as his clothes were kinda dirty and torn. But when he gets closer to inhuman speed, knocking you down as his pretty strong hands push your shoulders, you finally fully understand how much you messed up this time. Maybe the last time in your life.

His black messy hair framing his face, in such dark this mad pair of eyes glowing so bright, hypnotize you with a red flash in it. You even can see his fangs from half- opening mouth, as he breathes heavily. Strong smell of forest, like from damp moss or needle-covered path coming from his clothes and dirty hands..

He leans closer, sniffing you almost like an animal. Why 'almost like'? Isn't he actually an animal, that beast everyone told you to avoid?!

"Your fear smells really yummy.." - he chuckled, as a small smirk got across his lips. - "But you're lucky you meet me in my human form, otherwise I would have eaten you already.."

"Haha.. That's why you pinned me like that anyway..?" - despite you trying to sound more chilly, your voice was trembling too much, betraying you.

"Sorry.. I thought you're one of the hunters." - he sighs and gets up, letting you finally breathe a sigh of relief, as you keep laying on the ground, still in shock.

Oh of course, hunters. Some villagers, mostly adult men and oldsters, decided to form something like a team to hunt The beast down. They did not succeed yet, but do love to brag about their sacred mission.

For a moment you both looked at each other and suddenly he extended his hand to help you get up too.

"I'm Ichiro.." - as you get up, he looks at you with a small smile, surprisingly soft and cheerful for someone who's called 'The beast'.

"I'm s/o.." - you mumble confused, not able to hide your curiosity. - "Are you actually.. you know, a beast..?"

"I prefer to be called werewolf, but I think it doesn't really matter, huh..?" - A small sigh escapes his lip and he scratches his head, also kinda confused. - "I think you probably should go home now, you know? I'm not the only beast here, or you wanted to be eaten by some bear?"

"I wanted to stay for a while.." - maybe you should bite your tongue and actually just run home, yet the whole Ichiro's figure and his simple face makes you think about all this stuff about an invincible immortal being in another light. - "If you survive here for so long among these bears and other folks it means you can protect me too?"

"Did you actually call predators of the forest "other folks?" - werewolf scoff, crossing his arms in his chest. - "You're really bold for a young human.."

Despite him calling you young, his appearance in the soft light of the moon didn't look too old either, as if you were almost the same age, actually. You get closer to watch his face more carefully, yet he quickly backs away, suddenly all surprised. Is this small blush on his cheeks?

"And you're really timid for a strong beast.." - you can't help but giggle, enjoying his reaction. It's probably from all this adrenaline you get after such a spectacular introduction from Ichiro, yet you get so playful, feeling that the danger is over now and you actually have a chance to walk around in the depths of the forest.. To explore so many things and especially the most mysterious secret of local folklore, who was standing right in front of you with furrowed brows now.

"I'm just not used to talking with people too much.. Most of the time when I see one I eat them.." - another tired sigh escaped his lips as he looked at you. - "Really, listen, you should go home now. Isn't it kinda late for humans to not sleep? And I also need to bring more food for my brothers.."

"So you're not the one here?!" - you gasp, getting closer and almost grabbing Ichiro's shoulders but stopping yourself at the last second.

For a moment his brows twitch as he realizes what he just blurted out, then he gives up, thinking it's probably easier to tell in full than get rid of you.

"Of course I'm not, I do have a family.." - Ichiro looks up at you again and then smirks. - "I can introduce you to my little brothers, yet don't whine when they'll take you for food, okay? They're more unruly than I am.."

"Did you just say you're kinda obedient in other words? That I can tame you?" - oh, just how easy it actually was to tease this guy, you clearly can see how his cheeks get darker in these shadows as he blush.

"If I'm ready to tolerate you, humans, in my human form, it doesn't mean you can act like that, understand?" - he mumbled but reached for your hand, squeezing it a little. - "Now follow me, or you will get lost in this labyrinth.. It's already pretty late so there's no point for you to return home, so i only let you stay for one night as a small apology, okay? Keep it as our secret…"

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Healing Ties - Chapter 7

*Warning Adult Content*

Yore slept with his arms around the mage, the smaller body tucked in safe and secure against his.

He'd missed sharing his bed with another person, though as he'd had to make clear this was not like that.

Still, it didn't have to be for it to be nice.

There was something about the warmth and the smell of another person that made him feel soothed.

He wasn't so sure it made the mage feel soothed, though.

His heart had calmed down eventually but it was clear that there was a lot about this situation that made him nervous.

That was fair enough.

He was entirely at Yore's mercy and he was having to tolerate Yore telling him hardly anything.

Someone had badly hurt him and Yore didn't even feel like he could promise that he wouldn't without risking giving away too much.

It would be over soon, though or at least Yore hoped it would.

Today they would pass by the Griffin's Roost campsite and if anyone was there they would hopefully be able to point him towards Lucas' whereabouts.

The mage couldn't be allowed to see the campsite, though.

Not when there was still a possibility that he was acting as a spy.

Early that afternoon, Yore carefully put the mage down next to a tree stump and set the bag down next to him.

"There's something I need to take care of quickly. You sit here and have something to eat and drink and I'll be back soon. Don't go anywhere, okay?"

"Yes, sir," the mage murmured, head down.

He had started out with a bit of defiance in him but over time he seemed only to have become more submissive.

Well, for now that was useful.

Hopefully they could get this situation cleared up soon enough and be honest with one another and then the mage could stop being scared.

The campsite was far enough away that there was no risk of the mage seeing or hearing anything he shouldn't but not so far that there was any sense in shifting.

The smell of a campfire on the air told him someone was there.

Three men and two women were gathered around the fire, fresh fish filleted and laid out on a grill that sat over the fire just starting to cook.

The first woman who spotted him started to reach for a weapon before recognition slid over her face.

"Oy. You're one of those werewolves, aren't ya?"

The man who had been laying out the fish to cook looked up from his work and let out a bark on laughter.

"Nah, he's the werewolf. Yore, wasn't it?"

"That is my name."

"You're like the werewolf prince, yeah?"

"Hmm," Yore said.

That wasn't exactly true but he didn't feel like explaining their power structure and where he sat in it to a bunch of bandits.

"Do you know where Lucas is by any chance?"

The man who had spoken frowned and shrugged, looking between the others.

"He's at the Inn," the woman who hadn't spoken yet volunteered.

"Burton got hold of some fancy alcohol and sent him up there to see what he could trade it for."

"Ah, that'll be popular. Think he'll still be there by the time I get there? I've got someone with me, so I'll be walking on two legs."

"Yeah, should be. He's always up there for at least a few days. Likes to socialise. Not sure if that means networking or fucking, though."

"I'm not sure those are entirely separate things for him," Yore said.

"Thank you. I'd stay and chat but I have someone waiting for me."

"Careful if you go near the water," the man with the fish told him. "I swear something tried to grab me when I was gutting the fish. Got out of there real quick."

"Smart man," Yore commented. "And thank you. I'll be careful."

********

Fanner hadn't expected to be handed an opportunity like this.

Part of him really wanted to just ignore it and wait for Yore but he knew it could be his only chance of escape.

And maybe, probably... escape would mean death but he just kept flashing back to being tied down on the table, helpless, as Whelan cut into him.

He couldn't let that happen again and no matter what Mr Burrows had planned Fanner highly doubted he'd abandoned the idea.

If he didn't escape it would happen and it would be worse because Mr Burrows would make sure it was done right next time.

Part of his body would be removed and he would have to live with the horror of that as it slowly grew back, just like his finger had.

Fanner took a bag of shelled nuts from the bag and left everything else.

He would probably regret it later but taking things without permission felt like stealing.

Though technically he was property, so running away was the biggest theft of all.

He tried not to think about that as he started walking.

Fanner tried to move quickly but the terrain was rough and his side hurt and his body was screaming at him to just lay down and rest for a while.

But he couldn't.

Yore would be back soon and if Fanner wasn't far enough away, he would find him.

Ahead of him the ground gave way to a rocky ledge.

The drop was only approximately as tall as he was and he was not very tall but he was afraid of what trying to drop down would do to his wound.

He could try to go around but that would slow him down.

There was a tree root growing down over the drop at the far end.

It was a bit further to the ground at that end but if he could climb down he could avoid jarring his injury.

He grasped the root firmly in his hands and dug his feet into the side of the rocky wall as he eased himself over and then he abruptly realised he was stuck.

He didn't have enough strength to hold on with just one hand.

If he let go to try to lower himself down or even pull himself back up, he would fall.

The rocky wall crumbled beneath his feet as he scrambled for a foothold and he could feel his hands starting to slip.

He braced himself for what was about to happen.

And then a hand wrapped around his arm and effortlessly pulled him back up.

Yore's eyes met Fanner's and he didn't look happy.

"What are you doing? You..."

Fanner grabbed hold of Yore's wrist and Yore looked down, confused as Fanner pulled.

He wasn't trying to kill him, just render him unconscious like he'd accidentally done to the cow once but as he drew energy from Yore he found the pool was far deeper than he had anticipated.

Whelan hadn't had anywhere near this much energy.

Confusion flooded Yore's face and he started to pull away.

Fanner pulled harder, rapidly drawing energy from him now he was no longer worried he would kill him.

Yore wavered on his feet and then fell to the ground unconscious but Fanner made sure to check, definitely not dead.

Fanner had to get away.

If Yore woke up and caught him again, he would be in so much trouble.

He had never done anything like this before, never been openly defiant and certainly never attacked someone.

At least... not on purpose.

He had to keep reminding himself that he had killed someone.

He found the shortest point in the drop and slid down as gracefully as he could.

He felt a sharp jolt in his side as he hit the ground but it wasn't nearly as bad as he'd been expecting.

With Yore's energy coursing through him, he felt high.

He was moving faster now, clearing enough ground that he might actually be able to get away from Yore.

He'd heard stories of children who got lost in the woods accidentally simply because their parents took their eyes off them for a few minutes and they wandered off.

If a child could become so difficult to find accidentally, surely he could do it on purpose.

His stomach cramped from hunger and his mouth felt dry.

He found a narrow river and gulped down the clear, fresh water and then sat next to it and ate some of the nuts he'd stolen.

Despite everything else he'd done, he still felt a little guilty about the nuts.

He felt guilty about a lot of things.

Fanner could feel his body healing itself.

His side hurt less already.

He finished the nuts and knelt next to the stream again.

He would have another drink and then he would keep walking, putting more distance between himself and Yore.

What he would do after that... well, he would worry about that later.

He was afraid he'd lose his nerve if he gave it too much thought and there was no going back now.

Fanner reached his hands down and just as they touched the surface of the water, something grabbed his wrist and yanked him forward, into the river.

[martialwriterr]

Where The Trains Go

I looked at myself in the mirror. Fixed my hair. It was short. Close to the scalp, and I let my side burns grow. I got closer to the mirror. Showed my teeth. Licked my teeth. Pulled my right cheek down with four of my fingers to see how white my eyeballs were. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. When do we ever see ourselves this close.

I stepped out from the bathroom holding on to one of the protruding cylinder rails that stick out from the walls of trains. The train rocks back and forth simultaneously violent and calm. I sit down, put my hood up, and stake my foot in the chair in front of me. I lay my head on the window watching the long messy lines of light and smeared faces.

Trains. They are somehow the most isolating, yet most public places. In fact I would say that all of public transportation gives off an isolating feeling. I believe the cause is because we are collectively, mutually, headed towards a destination yet we are all menacingly kept to ourselves. I see passengers  placing their bags on empty seats just to avoid contact from another human being. Are we all hunting for some solidarity?

LAST STOP. NEW YORK. ALL PASSENGERS OFF.

I let most of the passengers get off before me preferring to be one of the last ones. A couple of young adults that stunk of weed and alcohol walked passed. A pair of black men with sagging pants that also stunk of marijuana and a sweet vanilla scent. A homeless old man crawling on his feet. He smelled very bad. A bald man dressed very nicely. He smelled exquisite, fancy, and serious. A bunch more uninteresting passengers lead out. I dug my hands in my pockets. Kept my shoulders shrugged and walked out. The air outside was a comfortable kind of cold. Cigarettes butts, condom wrappers, torn pieces of newspaper.

I walked up the steps with my head down. Hands in my pocket. I am reminded of all the times we made trips to the city. And for a moment I smiled and lift my head up. But, she is not here. She is somewhere where we wonder of. Some call it heaven. Some call it the afterlife. Some call it total oblivion. I decide to keep my head up. That what she would've wanted. Fix your posture, she said, it makes you more handsome.

I remember holding hands with her coming out of the Penn station. I told her that when I was younger I was enamored by the city because the movies made it seem like this was the only place dreams come true. All the handsome men and beautiful women were here. They made movies out of this place, I told her, there is a spectacle on every corner of this city. Look over there, there's music being played, and over there is delicious food, and look at all these lights, I told her. She said you can make dreams come true anywhere.

Chinatown and it's soup dumplings. That’s where we liked to go. I get on the subway. A homeless man asked me for a dollar and I gave him five instead. I hoped that the five dollars would get him somewhere tonight. Maybe a bagel, or one of those gyros made by those nice middle eastern men. But most likely will get himself whatever kind of alcohol or a cozy cigarette anything to numb himself from this cold. I find myself on the train again but this certain demographic at this time of the hour is different. It's just people of New York, and you can tell that they're from New York by the way their faces looks. Anybody who's been in New York knows what I am talking about.

I step outside the train out into Manhattan. The cold hits my face a bit harder this time. Small coffee, please, I ask. I use this cup of coffee mainly to warm my hands. Time was moving too fast for me. Just an hour ago I was at my parent's house in New Jersey. I decide to sit down with my cup of coffee next to a black man playing the trump. Don’t you wish you were comfy in bed? There is soul in the way he plays his trumpet. His face contorted to the sound of his music. Good stuff, I think, I too once played an instrument. I throw a dollar in his trumpet case and he nods in appreciation. I close my eyes for a little while with the cups warmth radiates in my palms. I listen to the steps of hundreds and hundreds of human beings. I'm reverting back to old habits. The one where I stay and maintain in solitude. Like the cricket you hear on a summer night. But I fear this solitude is morphing into a sort of isolation. I said thank you to the black man playing the trumpet.

I spotted a young girl with a t shirt and fishnets. An asian man adding to the eerie vapor of Chinatown with his cigarette.  He had a thin jacket on and one of those restaurant hats that look dorky but are to be taken serious. I saw that young woman cross the street again with her fishnets and flimsy t-shirt. She looked to be about my age. 

I got to her favorite restaurant and immediately was greeted by a pimply asian woman about half my size. I'd like to order soup dumplings. No problem, she said. The door chimed as I let myself out to wait in the cold. Everywhere were the circular ember colored shapes at the tips of their mouths. And the way they sucked on their cigarette made it seem like their cigarette tasted toasty, and comforting like a warm cup of hot chocolate. I hid my chin underneath my coat. Laid my back up against the wall. Asked myself the question. Why am I here? The door chimed again and out came the little asian lady. Thank you, I said. I can smell the fat from the pork coming out of the bag. So steamy. Soup dumplings. They're these little balls filled with savory, fatty, juice but make any sudden move with them and the delicate doughy dress comes apart.

I think, for tonight, there is nothing else to live for other than these little soup dumplings, and the amount of faces I have seen in this city, and the music that I've witnessed, and this cold air. I'm reliving memories. This is all I can do for now. I head to the train station. I took a 15 minute nap on the stairs waiting for my train. Once on the train I ate the soup dumplings. Slowly. That's what she told me to do. Eat your food, slowly. As I ate I looked out the window. We went under the tunnel where you see the pitch blackness in motion. Then the silhouettes of tree branches and houses. Every now and then I saw a stray window with the light on. I wonder what the story was going on in there. Making love? Heartbreak? Maybe some drugs? Maybe incredibly sad? Or, maybe, simply, someone forgot to turn the light off. As the train got closer to home the night started to get lighter. The runes of Elizabeth and Newark. You can tell we get closer to nice towns by the looks of their houses. Enter suburbia. I was close to home now. Exhausted I felt. Somewhat heartbroken. We passed through a deer that laid out next to the tracks. I felt even more heartbroken. The train came to a halt. I saluted the conductor. Outside it was cloudy, the air smelled cleaner, and there was a light rain beginning. The drive back home was quiet. Not a single thought in my head.  I didn’t bother to turn on the wipers. The dogs came out to greet me. I gave them both a kiss, let them go outside, and ran back in. I took off my clothes, and invited the dogs to come sleep with my. They made their selves comfortable snuggling in between my covers. I closed my eyes, and tried to count the number of raindrops that hit my window.

[tlacehualli]

She's a gentle guide now that he's calmer, letting her lead him to lie down onto the bed so he can rest whilst she tends to him. Funny how all the rest of Talon seemed to know exactly the wrong way to respond to him and could just get him to calm down with just a bit of care, a bit of love. Funny, in a sad way. They didn't know care.

Not like she did, anyway, not the way that she remembered. "Viejo, I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of our relationship," she spoke softly whilst pulling out the ever-present first aid kit she kept with her ever since her early, early days in Los Muertos. Better stocked, now, with things pilfered from here and there, but serving much the same functionality - just cleaning and tending to wounds as much as she could without a medical degree.

"I think you feel our relationship is a transaction - your good behavior for my kindness," she explains, pulling out a pair of tweezers, some alcohol, and a puff of cotton with which she starts cleaning his wound. But only after her following explanation. "Hey. This is going to hurt. I'm sorry. The alcohol will just help with infections as much as I can." Then she goes in with it, dabbing away into the wound as much as she dares 'cause it sure does look raw in a way she doesn't wanna fuck with overly much.

"Thing is, though, we aren't transactional. Somos como familia. Like family, get it? Death do us part but in the blood." And he wasn't literally her grandfather but her family was dead, long since buried in the ground, over twenty years now, so what was her family if she didn't make it? And so what if she made that family in Talon? Where else? That's what made her touch so gentle even if the alcohol was like acid, but she made sure her touch was so gentle on his skin - something just told her that touching his bare flesh was as electric and uncomfortable as it was for her (like the way he would shy from her touch sometimes when he didn't have his suit to protect him from bare air).

"I'm sorry. It's over now though, bien?" She spoke to him almost as if he was a child but not quite - it's not as if she thought him any less of an adult, it's just he took tenderness sometimes. And that was fine. She had so little tenderness in her own life that what was it to give it to him? No skin off her back. Even if he was so much older. When else would you give it to someone who deserved so much more of it?

"I'm just gonna put some bandages on here and then I should be done." Her voice is a little bit more clipped now, just more clinical as she slips into the more technical aspects of what she's doing - since it's easier. "You mind if I tell you a funny story? It's from when I was a kid in Mexico." She's probably not within his line of sight at this point, but the way she's smiling makes her words curve and become warm.

"So, I couldn't have been older than 6." These stories ended when she was 9, so, it wasn't an unusual age for it. Also, she was pulling a strip of gauze and snipping away at it with practiced hands - whilst trying to soothe away any anxiety about it with said story. "And I was so scared of my abuela. You know one time she beat my ass 'cause I couldn't find my pants?" She chuckles, laying the gauze across his back in a practiced way so that it would lie over his wound and the cotton that lay over it.

"I had a big ass cut on the bottom of my foot, just from running on the river - some of the river rocks were really sharp and I was terrified that she was gonna beat my ass again, get mad at me, that she wouldn't wanna be my abuela anymore. 'Cause how was I her fourth grand daughter and so stupid you know? Send me to heaven and tell my mom to make her another one." This part is said whilst she ties the gauze around his chest, her hands gentle whilst they run underneath him, trying her utmost not to touch his skin where it was possible.

"So then she finally sees it the net day when I wake up and its gnarly, I mean I was like six. Not exactly the age for the best field medic basics. I barely knew how to chew." She ties it off loose and tapes it down a little tighter, running a finger underneath gauze and skin to make sure it wasn't unbearable. Too tight and the wound wouldn't be able to breathe - too loose and, well, it was useless. "And then she told me, 'It doesn't matter how angry I am with you, we're always family.' 'Course she told me in Spanish but whatever."

tlacehualli​:

He’s crying.

She doesn’t know what it says about her that she can reduce the man before her to tears so easily sometimes. Doesn’t really know what it is. And it’s strange, maybe, when she’s small and half his age and he’s an old, old tree - he scares everybody with his outbursts (maybe because they don’t know that at his most frightening, he isn’t actually Sigma but someone else entirely). Then she comes along, a slip of a creature, and reduces him to this.

She watches calmly. There’s something about other people’s outbursts that moves her to physical and emotional stillness, and she figures it might be the influence of her own AI - a contrast to when she’s at her most emotional, her most human, when she’s curled up at the bottom of a bottle. She’s stone sober now, taking in his body language, his words, committing them to mechanical and animal memory, dissecting, understanding.

It’s fear. Irrational and human, but at its core, well-founded. The same fear that haunts the Widow, haunts her - the fear of her. Although it definitely stings that he would think she would turn tail and go snitch on him to her (that demon that took such utter glee in the way Sombra’s heart shattered in so many pieces when she saw the sniper in that tank full of fluid hooked up to so many cables, that delighted and sought to make even more agonizing the guilt she felt, the Sisyphean effort of trying to make up for a sin she didn’t even know she’d committed, over and over again, for a year), and despite her absolute stillness that rooted her to her spot, there was a softness in her eyes and in the set of her mouth and her posture that belied the care she felt for him. For them, really.

His outburst passes and the hacker is still quiet, letting the silence stretch between them as he cries. “Viejito.” It’s said after maybe half a moment in a soft, quieter one, much quieter than his words, and then she’s quiet again. She doesn’t want to rush into words, give him time to gather himself and realize that she wasn’t angry at him - not in that way. Angry that he’s hurt, angry that he didn’t tell her so she could fix it, not angry in a way where she would hurt him or reject him or something.

She takes one step and then another, approaching him and peering into his eyes all the while, and finally extends a hand so she can touch his arm and trails it down to where his hand is so she can squeeze it in her own. “I’m sorry. I was upset. Still am, a little, but it’s not because I want to hurt you. Quiero que tu comprendes - I’m never going to be the one to tell her shit. If it was up to me, wouldn’t any of us ever have to be near her any more than is strictly necessary.” There’s venom in her voice when she speaks of her - she doesn’t even want to utter her name, and also the concept of anybody (much less someone she cares about) thinking that she and Moira were in any way aligned with each other still stung.

“I’m not a doctor or anything. Obviously.” There’s a little smile at that. “But cuts and scrapes, stuff that isn’t life threatening, I can take care of it. So you don’t have to go over there unless you really have to. I was upset because it looks like you’ve had that for a while and I could have cleaned it up and made sure there wasn’t an infection. If there is, I don’t have the medical expertise to know how to deal with it.” This part is easy for her to explain - leaping into jargon filled explanations was where she felt most at ease in tense situations like this. She does it with a soft voice, and it feels like she’s so in synch with her AI - her emotional acumen, it’s cold and rational intelligence. “If we’re on a mission together, I can do it on the way back. If not, you can let me know when you get here. Just let me take care of you if I can. It’s the least I can do.”

                  It’s difficult not to allow himself to be pulled back ashore with such delicate words when he is in such a state of turbulent emotion, how she uses a nickname like some sort of access code, with which she easily slips through the gaps in his outer shell. It would be more alarming to have his walls so easily circumvented– but in a way, there is a comfort to be found in the notion that it is a result of proper understanding. She would not be able to be so candid with him if she didn’t make such a monumental effort to show that she understood– and that she continues to understand.

Despite the bristling hostility moments prior, he is forever docile in regards to Sombra, and while he hates the sensation of physical contact with his skin, beneath the protective barrier of his regular jumpsuit– and while it especially adds to the visceral discomfort of vulnerability he is subject to feel like this– SIGMA allows himself to be touched only by her. If anyone else, if any other person within this compound attempted to do what he allows her to do so freely, he would seriously harm them. It was a privilege only granted to her.  It’s a test of trust, allowing the hacker’s hand to trail down his broad shoulder, over the large tattoo, and down his forearm, and there’s a clear hesitation in the way he reacts; both in part due to uncertainty to grasp her hand in return, and a residual discomfort in having his hand taken hold of. In fact, there’s a moment where his large hand attempts to withdraw reflexively; however, finding her hand already holding his prevents him from pulling it away altogether.

                       “… I– I know you don’t want to hurt me.“ SIGMA whispers quietly, his voice feeling a tad hoarse after the outburst mere seconds prior, blinking away dew-like tears as his eyes trail from her tender face to gaze down at their conjoined hands. He’s a terrible person for even insinuating that Sombra would ever do such a thing– he doesn’t deserve the level of patience she exercises just to accommodate him. That’s what really makes him want to cry a majority of the time– especially when he’s acting this way. He can never tell if he does this because he wants to be difficult or if it genuinely was a result of the trauma he’s sustained over the years. “… I know I shouldn’t take it out on you… I– I-I know it isn’t your fault… I know, I know….“

Especially when everyone else seemed convinced that he chooses to be ‘difficult’.

                    “It– it just hurts… That is all… It’s been hurting for days now…“ SIGMA murmurs shakily, swallowing dryly as the constriction of his throat begins to lessen. “I did not want to get in trouble…” Soft, watery eyes flutter shut for a moment. “I was hoping that if I could tolerate these things better, th-then TALON would… see that I can be tougher… I am… so sick of having my fragility called into question– b-being…. being subjected to such harsh treatment and repeatedly mocked for having such a low threshold when it comes to tolerance… It is… so difficult to feel as though I belong amongst all of you when I am so freely criticized for an inability to tolerate pain…. Everything hurts, Sombra… Between the ANOMALY’S ever-growing intensity, a-and… “training”… and field work…. I am in so much pain on any given day– the medications don’t even help, some days… a-and then I am openly mocked for feeling incapable of tolerating any more hardship atop all of the rest…”

SIGMA’S eyes slide open when he finds himself led towards the large bed that sits in the middle of his sterile room, coaxed along by their joined hands so gently that he cannot help but allow himself to be removed from his static axis– but rather than continuing to fight, to argue against it, he concedes entirely. He’s too docile to resist her urging– at least, not for very long. And, truth be told, he did want to be taken care of, to an extent. SIGMA does not enjoy the sensation of helplessness, of being stripped of his autonomy– but all the same, there is a distinct comfort in having others making decisions for him.

                          In being– or, simply, feeling– taken care of.

He’s still trying to determine whether or not it was his choice to desire this, or if his time in captivity had simply ruined any sense of independence he may have at one time possessed. It was something SIEBREN outright declared open hatred for him for desiring, only to turn around and claim to feel the very same, to understand the confusing desire, yet still declare him so weak for even expressing a willingness for it. Either way, he’s exhausted, and his outburst had taxed what little energy he had possessed– leaving SIGMA to obediently trail alongside Sombra as she uses his hand to lead him towards his bed. She doesn’t need to repeat the command for him to lie down, as he lurches forward automatically upon reaching it to dispel gravity and allow his long body to settle upon the mattress as the astrophysicist obediently sprawls out on his emaciated stomach. Strong forearms fold neatly atop one another to prop his head up as it’s cocked to the side so that he can watch her. There’s still an uneasiness that she’s going to run off to the clinic and return with someone to scold him, but he’s calmer now– and more willing to trust her to decide to do what she feels is right for him. That’s the price of allowing her to take care of him– he has to trust that she will do what it takes to make him feel better… Even if he sometimes struggles with that concept.

                    “– I– I want to allow you to take care of me… I really do… But…“ He hesitates, his broad shoulders slowly rising and falling with a deep breath as he lets a long, exhausted sigh escape him. “… I already do everything all wrong here… It feels as though I am always getting myself into more and more trouble…”

“…. I am… afraid of disappointing you– especially you… I’m afraid that you will no longer care as much if I keep proving to be so… difficult…… I– I-I promise that I am never ‘choosing’ to be difficult…. E-even if… it seems as though I do not…. try very hard…“

                        “… I am sorry, Sombra. I will behave now– I promise. “

”You may take care of me. No more struggling… or fighting… I will be good.“

[mochiswifey]

Forbidden Attraction

Taiju Shiba X Half-Sis

Repost from another account.

CW: Incest? Age-Gap, Slight Smut. Forbidden Love.

You burst into your half-brother's office wearing a black hoodie and cargo pants from your other half-brother. Taiju looked up from his laptop and a frown immediately appeared on his face.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He questions you as you lay down on his expensive sofa.

“I need sleep.” Taiju sighed totally annoyed at you but he knows that if he doesn’t let you sleep in his office you will stir up some trouble. Being years older than you he started to realize how much of a nuisance he was when he was your age just by taking care of your weekly mess.

“You’re an adult start trying to live like a normal being. When I was your age-“

“Oh, for fuck sake I know you’re old. You don’t need to establish that bullshit. I wouldn’t have come here if Hakkai is at home but Nah he out doing some rat hood shit.” Taiju flinched at your words but he promised himself he’ll never hurt you as he did to his other siblings.

“Look, you’re really giving me a hard time.” He says to himself more than to you.

“I know big bro. But I’m just young and stupid like Hakkai told me you were before.”

“That’s not a- Hakkai told you what?” Taiju’s voice echoed.

“He told me you were a gang leader and that he was also in a gang too. And I ain’t gonna be beaten by the two of you so I joined today. I beat down twelve grown ass man that’s why I’m so tired.” Taiju marched towards you and forced you to sit up.

“What gang did you join?” Taiju grips on your arm making you flinch in pain. You glared at him and he immediately let go before taking a step back.

“Don’t worry, it’s a great gang. Bonten?”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” Taiju threw his hands in the air.

“I prayed to god every single day since you came into our house to bless my sister with strength, beauty, and brains, which thank him for giving you so but he didn’t give you enough critical thinking! You get good grades and don’t do drugs and alcohol why the hell do you like beating up people?!” Your brother screamed at you but you only found it amusing.

Taiju leaned on the wall with his arms crossed questioning you. His little sister’s sanity but then again your temper and violence remind him of his younger self.

“We’re only half-siblings but why do we share so much in common?” Taiju thought to himself.

“Yeah. I’m just fucking with you. I didn’t join bonten I joined a gang my stepbrother from mom’s side is in.” You tell him the truth.

“What gang?” Taiju was a little relief. Any other gang but bonten. He thought to himself.

“Actually…. It’s not really a gang. More like a mafia. European mafia. I uh…. I’m actually related to the leader. She’s called the Joker. She likes cutting people’s faces.” Taiju facepalmed.

“Get out. Just call me when you’re in trouble.” Taiju points at the door not wanting to deal with you anymore. You mischievously laugh as you skips towards your brother hugging the giant. Taiju froze he didn’t expect you to be affectionate with him. He’s always been the stricter brother which resulted to him and you fighting a lot but maybe you like him more than you’re showing.

“You’re the third-best brother.” You tell him as you tighten your hug. You only have three brothers. Hakkai, your step-bro, and him.

“Get off.” Taiju says in a serious tone and you laughed before leaving his office.

Your stomach rumbles as you go down the stairs and decide to get food at your brother’s restaurant before going home.

“Ey, is this table reserved?” You asked the staff you are well acquainted with. The staff nodded but you already sat yourself.

“Fuck them. Imma eat here.” The staff sighed and went to you knowing that you’ll cause a hysterical scene if you got ignore.

“I’ll have the special and make it two with brandy and my brother’s favorite wine.” The staff nodded and went on his way.

You then dialed your brothers number. He answered on the first ring surprising you.

“What?” You laughed at his grumpy voice.

“You’re losing some weight fatty. Come eat with me.” You teased him before inviting him to eat with you.

“Bruh you’ll never know when I’ll go back to Europe so come eat with me.” You hung up before he could even answer. You then sat quietly waiting for your brother and food to arrive.

“Baby let me get your number.” You snapped your head towards the lazy voice. A waitress is being harassed by a rather interesting individual...

A pink hair joker wannabe, a violet version weirdo, and a man with short hair who looks the most professional out of the three.

You stood up annoyed and went to their table and rested your hand on the waitress’s shoulder. Not only you inherited your brother’s temper you also inherited his height. Your height is a whooping 183cm.

It’s not that tall in Europe but in Japan? You’re too tall to be a girl. You towered over the waitress and immediately attracts the Trio.

“Ey, I’m sorry. My brother doesn’t allow his workers to give out their numbers.” You started nice.

“Just fucking order or leave our restaurant.” But you ended harsh.

You throw daggers at them with your eyes as you wait for them to speak their orders but when you realized they weren’t going to speak anytime soon you pulled the waitress away and ordered a male staff to tend to the trio.

“Thank you madam.” The waitress thanks you before going back to the kitchen. You went back to your table and kept waiting for your brother.

“It seems like your date won’t come. Why don’t you join us?” The pink weirdo screamed at you disturbing the other customers. You wanted to smash their skulls but you know your brother won’t be happy to have his expensive tables ruined so you try your best to refrain from doing so. That’s the main difference between you and young Taiju. You’re able to control yourself when needed.

“Baby, come on now. You took our dinner away. You gotta be our dinner now.” The violet weirdo says loudly as he walks towards you. The other two followed closely behind him.

“Your brother owns this restaurant? We could shower you with luxury as well! Just come with us and you'll never have to worry about anything in this cruel world.” You squint your eyes and look at them with disgust before pulling out your black card and the key to your Ferrari from your pocket surprising them.

Taiju always saw you as a kid and failed to realized you are just as good as him when it comes to generating money. Maybe even better.

“Oh shit, so who’s your daddy?” The dude with pink hair asks his eyes red from the drugs he consumed earlier.

“I’m the fucking daddy.” You spat out two seconds away from killing them.

“No, baby girl. Come with us and we’ll lay the world to your feet.” They tried to touch you but they were stopped.

“Don’t fucking touch my sister.” Your brother appeared. A vein on his forehead is visible indicating that he’s beyond pissed.

The three men laughed hysterically not believing that he’s your brother.

“Are we high? Taiju Shiba is my future brother in law!” One of the men hysterically screamed while the other two laughed.

“Let’s deal with this mess outside.” Your brother says as he pulls you up from your seat.

“Who are they?” You whispered to him as he hides you to his back not wanting the trio’s eyes on you.

“People you don't wanna get involved with.” He quickly explains as he pushes you away.

“They are Bonten’s top. Now you see why I was so fucking scared you joined them?” He tells you his voice tense. The trio followed the two of you outside still laughing like maniacs.

“How’s the tyrant? You’ve been out of the game for so fucking long!” Sanzu yells. His eyes wide and grim.

“I’ll fucking crush the three of you if you ever try to speak to my sister again.” Your brother threatens them.

“Oh, come on now. We just wanna have fun with your sister.” Rindou says as he takes a step closer but Taiju had enough and pulled out his gun.

“Tai, there’s fucking people around.” You expressed your concern for your brother. The passing pedestrians either turned around or dashed like Usain Bolt to pass you.

“Leave and never come back again.” The trio puts their hands up in defeat and slowly left but continued to eye you. Taiju was seconds away from pulling the trigger but your hold on his arm stopped him.

“Thank god you didn’t pull that trigger.” You said as you hug your brother from behind burying your face in his back. He froze just like he did earlier but warmed up to you. The two of you went back in and decide to eat dinner together.

“I mean, they weren’t bad looking.” You told your brother as you take a bite of your steak. He stops eating and raised his eyebrow.

“What kind of conversation are you trying to start?” His voice eerily calm.

“I mean, I’m just saying. They are hot but creepy.” You shrugged and jealousy started to boil inside your brother.

“Just don’t try doing something stupid.”

“I won’t I promise.” You smiled at him and tried to feed him a piece of your steak but he declined making you pout.

“Hey! C’mon now! Eat it.” You tried once again. He was hesitate at first but took it nonetheless.

“Good right?”

“We’re eating the same thing.”

“Yeah, but I fed it to you. So it’s better right?” You lean forward to him and he just agreed to want to end your antics. You returned to your food as soon as your brother agreed.

“Yeah, and this is totally random but remember the boy I dated two years ago?” You started, catching your brother's attention.

“I was thinking him about him for like the whole day and I was like why the fuck did I even dated that son of a bitch.” Your brother smiled and you felt something fishy about that.

“I warned you about him.” He says without looking up from his food a sly smirk visible on his face.

“Do you even know which one I’m talking about? I dated four boys that year.” You held up four fingers in front of him.

“I don’t fucking know can’t you just let me eat in peace?” He snaps making you laugh. But the last sentence replayed on his mind.

I dated four boys that year.

He didn’t want to bring up the topic but he started getting anxious and was low key gonna murder your exes.

“You didn’t do anything overly inappropriate with them right?” You choked on your drink.

“Bro, why would you ask me that. That’s the forbidden question among siblings.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“It is? Hakkai-“

“Don’t start. I didn’t. I’m safe.” He smirks inside. After the two of you finished eating you still had some energy left in you so you convinced your brother on leaving his restaurant to accompany you on a ghost hunting trip.

He wasn’t going to agree at first until you said that you’ll snort cocaine if he didn’t come.

“You’re pissing me off.” He complains as he drives towards the location.

“Oh, come on you love me.” You leaned to him and gave his shoulder a kiss making him feel unholy things.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” You asked as you rest your head on his shoulder. Liking how he feels.

“You should’ve changed you’ll ruin your suit and you’ll end up rusty and angry.” He took a wild turn making you grip his thigh. He bit his lips preventing him from groaning.

“You drive worse than my step-bro.” He has never seen your other brother but Hakkai and him, surely aren’t feeling the way like he’s feeling about you right?

The two of you remained silent until you arrived at your destination. An abandoned mansion on the outskirts of Tokyo.

“Holy mother fucking shit.” You said as you step out of the car. Your brother follows you behind and he intentionally kicked the trashcan making you jump.

“You motherfucker-“ you hit his arm lightly as he laughs.

“Fuck.” You regretted your decision of asking him to go out with you. The moon illuminates his gorgeous face. His slicked-back hair and gorgeous jawline are slowly taking an effect on you.

You shake the thoughts away and went inside the mansion.

“Why do you like doing these kind of shit?” Your brother asked you as he follows behind you closely.

“I’m a fucking idiot that’s why.” You replied simply. After exploring the house and finding nothing supernatural you were pooped out and decide to go into a night club instead.

“Thanks for coming with me even though we found absolutely nothing.” You sat down on the stairs. Taiju remained standing with his hands in his pocket and examines you.

“I’ll have my friends pick me. “ he shook his head and signaled you to stand up.

“Nope, you’re coming home.” He reaches for you but you crawl up the stairs away from him. He grabbed your legs and pulled you back but you unintentionally kicked him making him fall on top of you.

“Fuck, you’re heavy you didn’t lose any weight fatass.” You joked as you tried to push him away. He rolls beside you and you laughed.

“You’re not fat. It’s a joke you understand that right?”

“You’re intolerable.” He says and you turn your head to his direction. He turned his head to yours as well and your eyes met. A forbidden connection and desire between the two of you sparked. The two of you knows it’s sinful and unholy but neither one of you wanted to admit it.

“You’re handsome.” You complimented your brother.

“I know.”

It wasn’t planned or intentional. But everything didn’t seem to matter and the two of you leaned for a kiss.

It was bad.

The kiss the two of you shared is sinful and shouldn’t have happened but it did. The worst of all is that it was passionate.

Neither of you tried to stop the kiss. The kiss the two of you shared only came to a halt when you were on top of him slowly starting to grind your wetness into his hardness.

“We probably should stop.” You said as you pull away. He bit his lips he didn’t want it to.

The two of you went silent for a moment but the hunger for one another won as soon as your eyes met once again.

“Fuck.” You moaned as you kissed him while grinding faster and faster to him. His hand rested in your waist guiding you. He didn’t spoke he just watched you grind yourself to him with your eyes closed and your hands on his face. You look so beautiful. And perfect.

“Tai, You feel so good.” You moaned moving your hands on his biceps. He then sucked on your neck while his hand went under your hoodie to play with your nipple and his other hand gripped on your ass.

Your moans get louder and louder and before you even know it the two of you had already come. You lay your head on his shoulder trying to catch your breath. Neither he nor you spoke. The two of you went silent for a few minutes before he lifts you up and started walking toward his car.

“Should we forget about this?” You asked him unsure of what to do next.

“I can just go away and return the following year and we can-“ He smacks your ass making you blush. It's stupid to even consider your opinion.

He seats you on the passenger seat and puts your seatbelt on before going to the driver's seat. He didn’t speak and just started to drive away. You were too sleepy to even think whether what happened is real and what to do about it. You doze off while your brother watches you from time to time.

The two of you sinned. But since when did he care about anything? Family and love are more important, right?

~~~

Thank you for reading. Replied*Reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[subpar-ghoulfriend]

Let’s have a baby

yandere!EraserMicx PREGNANT!Reader 

A terrible mix up leading to an accidental pregnancy? Or something more intentional? Either way now you were pregnant with (none other than the beloved power couple heroes) Eraserhead and Present Mic’s child. Time to discuss how co parenting is going to work. 

TW: pregnancy, artificial insemination, yandere elements, mentions of stalking, alludes to potential custody battle

You had been avoiding the two men for the past week, which was challenging seeing as they managed to find your phone number, address, and place of work. Any time you blocked their calls they got a new number. Two Pro Heroes versus a twenty something civilian, it was only a matter of time until you were cornered.

Now the couple stood between you and your apartment. You had a long shift at your job as a pet groomer and just wanted to get some rest.

Present Mic was the first to speak. "Hey lil momma, we heard you had work today so we brought you some dinner. We thought we could talk over a nice meal."

You had no response. You were tired, both physically and emotionally. You had been put through the ringer ever since meeting them at your doctors office. It was a total Jane the Virgin situation. You went in for an assessment about some supposed ovarian cysts and unknowing left artificially inseminated. There was a supposed mix up, a digital glitch that somehow merged your chart with the surrogates - apparently your names were super similar. Two weeks later you were called back into the doctor's office and informed of what took place. And now you were in this living nightmare.

And the two heroes had nothing to do with the error. There was totally a surrogate. They hadn't paid off your provider. And why would they? You had never met them - although given their patrols they may have seen you once or twice...

They were tearful when they were informed of the mix up, they had been waiting patiently through the whole process and now everything was thrown in chaos. They offered to compensate you for your service which sent you into a blind rage. They just assumed you would carry a child, a child with half of your DNA, and then give YOUR baby away. Rationally you understood that they had planned to be be the only parents to the child, but that was with a professional surrogate who understood the process, who didn't want the child in their life, just happy to help out a loving couple. But that wasn't you, you grew up wanting to be a mom, and now they would take that from you.

What if they tried to legally take sole custody of the baby? Surely they had some pull in the judicial system. Besides, they were a solid couple with money, while you were alone with no family and working two jobs. The thought made you sick to your stomach.

You were shaking as you tried to push past them. Maybe they would just disappear if you ignored them, a girl could dream. But instead they tagged along inside. Albeit you weren’t fighting them on it, you knew this had to happen eventually.

Aizawa easily found the cluttered dining table in your small apartment. You flinched when the loud one tried to help you shrug off your backpack. Taking a seat on the couch you waited for them to start berating you.

"Come sit at the table, dinner is getting cold," Eraser spoke for the first time.

"I'll eat later, I'm not hungry."

"You may not be, but the baby needs to eat."

You glared, how dare they insinuate you didn't know what your child needed. If your body was hungry, you ate. If you were full the baby was full too.

But, you complied, not wanting to argue, "Fine, but I ate a snack not too long ago."

As you ate, Mic kept you company, picking at some left overs, they clearly ate before their visit. Aizawa was rummaging through your place but you managed to hold your tongue until he began throwing things out of your fridge.

"What are you doing?" You hissed, getting up out of your seat.

"Mic and I will bring you groceries tomorrow. The food you have is barely safe for an adult, let alone a fetus."

"Are you kidding me? It's not like I'm chugging alcohol and living off Twinkies. Hey! I just bought those turkey slices. How is turkey bad?" You whined.

To make sure you wouldn't dig the food out trash he dumped it out of his container.

"Zashi, don't let me forget to empty the trash on our way out. Do you know how much salt is in deli meat? And there's no way you can drink any of this while you're pregnant." He gestures to the cans of soda.

As the frustration built you had to fight back tears. They couldn't come in to your home and start throwing out your things.

"Some of us don't make ridiculous money, I'm buying what I can afford and the doctor never had any problem with my health." You hissed.

Hizashi felt the tension thickening, "Hey hey hey, it's okay. Sho and I will go get you some good stuff. We just gotta watch out for you and baby."

And that was the end of your resolve, you stomped past the Hero and locked yourself in your bedroom. Finally tears began to drip down your cheeks.

Back in your kitchen Mic was chiding his boyfriend for being so tough on you.

"So I should just back down while she stuffs herself with junk food?"

Mic gave him a shrug, showing him a bottle on your counter, "At lest she's taking her prenatal vitamins?"

Grabbing the keys to your apartment Aizawa instructed Mic to wait with you while he got you better groceries. He would make copies of your keys on his was back.

You prayed they would leave soon. You were laying in your bed having cried yourself out. Barely into your second month of pregnancy. You still had to endure this for at least seven more months, but most likely much longer.

Next thing you knew you were opening your eyes and the clock read seven AM. By now your uninvited guests must be gone. Nervously you sat up, praying that you'd skip the morning sickness just once this week. You had always had a weak stomach and even the doctor was surprised you were already experiencing the symptom. Unfortunately the minute your feet touched the floor you knew what was coming. You sprinted to the restroom, not even checking to see if the duo had left.

God this was terrible, you didn't just hate throwing up, you were terrified of it. What if you started and never stopped? But it did come to an end. You wiped the water from your eyes and took a moment before standing from the floor. You screamed when a hand slid under your arm, helping you up. Another set of feet rushed to the bathroom.

" What's wrong?" Hizashi huffed as he skid to a stop.

You pulled arm free from Aizawa's grasp. "What are you two still doing here?"

You turned in the faucet to rinse your mouth. Trying to calm your stress, the nausea was trying to return.

Undeterred the scruff pulled your hair into a bun before rubbing your back. You debated returning to bed but that wouldn't get them out of your apartment. You told them you need to sit down, both of them nodding, still wearing their concerned expressions. They got you a glass of water before joining you on the couch. Stubborn men, you sat at the end of the couch so they couldn't both sit, but Mic decided to perch himself on the armrest.

He started petting your hair, "You feelin better little listener?" You nodded in response.

"I got you more food, let us know if your hungry."

You sighed in defeat, "I'm barely two months pregnant, I can fend for myself. What did you all want to talk about?"

You anxiously placed a hand on your stomach. Both men felt their hearts flutter recognizing your maternal instincts kicking in.

Aizawa let Mic begin, he was the more gentle of the two.

"Well, we figured we got off to a rough start. You got put in a tough situation. We shouldn't have assumed you didn't want a child so we're not mad at how you stormed out. But either way we expect to be in our baby's life. The two of us talked it over and we don't want to fight you if you want to be in their life too. So if you wanna be the mommy we're cool with it."

You could blame your reaction on your hormones for your response but you didn't, "Geez thank you so much for allowing me to be in MY child's life."

Aizawa placed a hand on the back of your neck, giving you a gentle massage. "Okay then, the three of us are gonna have a baby. That means you have to stop ignoring us. We can raise the baby together, without involving anyone else. But if we have to, we can always go the legal route for the baby's best interest." 

He knew it was a low blow, but the couple needed you to stop fighting them. Your eyes snapped to his and you shook your head in protest.

"Okay then we're all the same page," Aizawa reassured you.

Mic cheered, "Now we can focus on the fun stuff."

"Hun," Eraserhead caught his attention. "There's still a few more important things to figure out. We don't want you going back to that doctor. They're incompetent. We scheduled you an appointment with another's clinic for next week. Okay?"

You couldn't find your voice after how easily he threatened to take your baby. So you just nodded. Half listening.

"Good. We also went ahead and programmed our numbers into your phone. We need to be able to check in with you."

"Okay, but I can't use my phone at one of my jobs."

"About that lil momma," Mic started. "You work a lot, which is totally bad ass, but we don't think you leave enough time to rest and take care of yourself."

You tried to protest but Aizawa cut you off, "You also shouldn't be working around so many animals. Even though we love animals, they can be unpredictable and one dog can trigger all the rest into a frenzy."

You were dumbfounded, "I've never heard of anything like that happening. One of my coworkers was pregnant last year, she worked until her maternity leave. Plus I need to be able to pay my bills. And don't offer to compensate me again."

"Why do you have to view it as compensation? We just want to take care of the mother of our child. Just think about it. Mic and I have to go take care of some business but we'll be back later this week."

---

Back at their home Hizashi was dramatically splayed on their bed.

"Babe why are you pouting?" Aizawa asked.

"Why can't we just bring her home already?"

Aizawa sympathized with his better half, but they needed to be methodical. He reminded Hizashi that they didn't need to cause her even more stress, especially so early into the pregnancy. If they played their cards right they would have their happy little family soon enough.

If they could ease you in to the relationship everything would be easier in the long run. They had been managing just fine until now, they could wait a few more months.

He joined Hizashi on the couch. Mic was comforting himself the way he usually did when he felt like this. He was scrolling through the countless photos they had collected since their chance encounter with you over a year ago. 

[adultbabystories]

My adult baby bukkake

By now I became daddy’s little boy and accepted my role in the house. Nothing was forced on me anymore, I just took it all. I had no resistance in me anymore, not physical nor emotional. I got used to being changed whenever and wherever. Daddy only talks to me like I’m a little boy, not a man. Baby boy’s routine became my routine, and the routine turned me into a baby boy.

Daddy used me however he wanted. Taking my paci out of my mouth and sticking his big one. Spanking me for acting bigger than my appropriate age until I cried. Sometimes even ripping my soak diaper in the middle of the night and fucking me to the nightlight’s light over my giant crib.

The first time he’d let one of his friends use me, I tried to protest, but I got a time out, then spanked so hard I begged daddy for his friend’s dick. I felt so humiliated when I was sent to my crib early that evening. Crying into my pillow while daddy and his friend watched the news in the living room. Then one night while I played with my toys in my room, I heard a group of people coming into the house. I was so ashamed to get out of my room. Letting so many men seeing me like that wasn’t a thing I wanted, but when daddy opened the room’s door wide open, I already knew I had no choice. He changed me into a thick diaper and a romper, clipped a paci to it and stuck it back to my mouth. Daddy put his hand on my back and pushed me outside. In the living room, there were ten men. Most older than me but some younger. Some fit guys and some chubs. Some had a smile when they saw me, some just a grind. Daddy told me to crawl to the playpen in the middle of the room, as I was complied to do. Sitting in the playpen, ten horny men around me were touching themselves. I saw my favorite teddy bear sitting in front of me. I grew a special connection to this teddy over time and took him to my side, which made the men even more aroused. Some of them took their cocks out and came closer to me all around. Some of the men drank from bottles of beer, some glasses of whisky, few smoked cigarettes. The room got filled with smells of alcohol, smoke, a man musk. One of the cocks was so close to me, my mouth got open almost automatically and my paci fell out. Daddy came from my back and put it back, saying “No tasting, only touching” as he grabbed my two hands and put it over the man’s cock. I began to massage it as it grew hard. One man after another they came for my hands to touch their cocks. They loved it and kept on masturbating after I squeezed their raging boners.

Daddy came again, took my teddy bear, laid him on the floor, and said “You are going to lay down over teddy, and hump it until I tell you to”. As he helped me in the not so big playpen to my stomach, he pulled the romper straps down, leaving my back naked.

My diaper was wet, so humping was easy. I got used to humping my diaper. But it was usually alone in my crib, not in a living room full of men above me. I started to hump my diaper as I heard the men moan above me. From behind the playpen bars, I saw that one of the men put his beer bottle down. I kept on humping when I saw cigarette ashes fall to the floor. Daddy was asking one of them if he wanted more whisky. I don’t know how to describe it, but my penis got stiff. I was thrusting and thrusting as the men’s moans got louder. They loved me and I loved myself. I was daddy’s baby, he was proud of me, he was showing me off to his friends. I humped and humped faster and faster until I heard a great moan and felt something hot hitting my back. Suddenly time stood still and a split second became a minute. I felt the cum sticking to my back, the pacifier in my mouth, my stiffy in my wet diaper, and the playpen bars around me. Time got back to normal and I thrust even faster, then a second man came all over me, this time hitting my neck. Again time froze, and I felt the warmth of the cum on my neck and the warmth of my diaper around my penis. After the second time, the time came back to its normal pace, but a minute later a rain of cum rained over me. The men moaned and screamed, letting their manhood all over me. They wanted me, they chose me, they marked me. My back, my head, my puffed padded butt, my toys, my playpen, my little teddy friend. Hot steamy cum was all over. With the smell of cum and drool from my paci gag, I got into ecstasy and humped my diaper like crazy.

I heard one of daddy’s friends saying to him “You’re so lucky to have a baby boy like him”. When I heard it, I came into my diaper so hard, it was the best orgasm I’d ever had.

Still sucking my paci, I laid my head over my sticky teddy bear, finally understanding why daddy turned me from a man to a baby boy.

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Stealin’ Hearts

George “Digger” Harkness x Reader

Fandom: DC Extended Universe

Summary: You’re a superhero and you just found out your soulmate is the notorious diamond thief, Captain Boomerang. You want to trust him, but you’re not sure you can just yet, so…now what?

Note: This is the sequel to He’s a Challenge. I really wanted to write a second part lol so here you go!

Warnings: Alcohol mention.

Word Count: 1.5k

Reader is: Female (but I would be willing to rewrite another version for a male or gender neutral reader.)

When the jet landed, you let go of Boomer’s hand and led him out onto the roof of your family’s secluded forest mansion. He looked down at the sheer size of it, his eyes wide.

“What?”

“Nothing, just…It’s not what I expected.” He admitted, hauling his duffle bag full of his few belongings over his shoulder. You led him in through the door and down the stairs to the balcony that overlooked the lower level of the house. You saw your siblings were congregated there, River looking particularly anxious, his arms across his chest. Rose and Ryan were sitting on the couch, talking, but their discussion stopped when they noticed you and Digger standing there, looking down at them.

“We’re here.” You called awkwardly.

“I see that.” River said, his eyes guarded as he looked the notorious Captain Boomerang up and down.

You led him down the stairs to where the others were and he hesitated, but followed after you anyway, a sheepish look on his face.

“So, Mr. Harkness, I’m not sure if (Y/N) told you why you’re here.”

“Well, I know we’re soulmates, so…” he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, obviously anxious about the whole situation. “I kind of figured that was why.”

“Well, yeah, but also no.” Rose laughed, motioning for everyone to sit down, so you . “(Y/N), why don’t you explain?”

You exhaled a long breath, nodding. “Yeah, I guess I can.” You looked up at Digger and he smirked. “Yeah, so, uh, our mom is the queen of an alien planet. So like…we’re royalty. And because of that, through our laws, you get diplomatic immunity because you’re my soulmate. I mean…unless you do something super fucked up and then I can’t help you.”

He was quiet for a long moment, his expression confused, but also evaluating what you had just said. “You mean to tell me my soulmate is a princess.”

“Yeah.” You shrugged.

He grinned. “Wicked.”

***

With every room of the mansion you showed Digger, the more and more impressed he became, taking everything in. He was still expecting you to take it all back at some point, tell him it was all a big joke and he wouldn’t be living in your giant mansion for the rest of his days.

That was strange to him, too. This weird sense of security. He’d had a rough upbringing, that much was for sure. He wasn’t used to stability, even in his adult life. He’d been constantly on the run, in and out of prison, doing whatever he could to make ends meet and try to establish something for himself, and…here it was. It had fallen right into his lap.

You pulled open a door and led him into another bedroom. There were a few generic pieces of art on the wall. The comforter was charcoal gray and there were a few navy throw pillows on top.

“I’m sorry it’s so empty in here.”

“Why are you…?” He paused for a second, looking around the spacious bedroom. It was nice, clean…way better than the tiny, dingy jail cell he’d been in for the past few years. “Is this my room?”

“Yeah, is that alright? It’s next door to mine, so I figured…”

“It’s perfect, princess.” He smiled softly, shaking his head in disbelief. “I still can’t believe this is happening.”

“Well, believe it.” You chuckled, stepping further into the room and opening the drawers on the dresser. “We didn’t know what size you were, so we guessed, but we picked you up some basics. I didn’t know what all you had…”

Digger was silent, watching you with careful eyes. You barely knew him and yet you’d done all of this for him, going out of your way to get him clothes and bedding.

“And this is your bathroom.” You opened the door to what he had assumed was a closet or something, but no, he now had an entire bathroom to himself as well. “I know the shower can be a little confusing, so let me know if you need any help with anything.”

You blinked up at him, waiting for some kind of reaction. “You good?”

“Y-yeah, I just…” He chuckled and shook his head. “This isn’t what I was expecting.”

“What, did you think we’d throw my soulmate in the dungeon?” You smirked, watching the way he couldn’t help but crack a smile at that.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you for it.”

You were both quiet for a moment before he asked, “Do you mind if I take a shower real quick? I haven’t had a warm shower in…” He didn’t finish the thought. You both knew it had been a while since he’d had a bathroom to himself, let alone water that wasn’t already cold by the time he got to it.

“Go for it. I’ll be down in the living room when you get out.”

***

When Digger came back downstairs, you were almost shocked, looking at him. He’d trimmed his beard, combed his hair, and he was wearing one of the cozy gray hoodies you’d picked out for him. He looked nice. You couldn’t help the heat that rose to your cheeks when you took him in.

“What, princess?” He raised an eyebrow, walking over to sit down next to you.

You set the book in your hands down on the coffee table. “Hmm?”

“What’s that look for?”

“You look nice, is all.” You shrugged.

He grinned. “You think so?”

“Mmhmm.” You nodded. Once he was closer, you could smell the eucalyptus shampoo in his slightly damp hair. You leaned in the tiniest bit, terrified of moving too fast, but he leaned in a bit too, only to be interrupted by—

“GIRLS’ NIGHT!”

You looked up at the sound of the voice with wide eyes, chuckling when you saw none other than Harley Quinn standing there with a bottle of wine.

“Boomer? What are you doin’ here?” She asked, looking at him.

“I found my soulmate, Harls.” Digger said, smiling as he did.

She looked between the two of you, her eyes widening in realization. “Wait, are you two…?”

“Yeah, we are.” You confirmed, slipping your hand into Digger’s. He embraced it quickly, giving it a proud squeeze.

“But I thought your soulmate was some dude named George…?”

“Digger is just a nickname, mate.” He chuckled. “My real name is George.”

“Ohhhhhh.” Harley nodded. “Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.”

“You know it’s Wednesday, right?” You said, glancing down at your phone to double-check.

“Oh, is it? I thought it was Thursday.” Harley laughed. “My bad.”

“You can hang out if you want to, though.” You offered, motioning to the couch.

“Don’t mind if I do.” She ran over and hopped onto the open end of the couch next to you, setting the wine bottle on the coffee table before crawling over to whisper in your ear, “He’s a keeper, (Y/N). You’re in good hands.”

“Oh believe me,” you smirked, “I know.”

***

It was a few months later. Much to your surprise, Digger stuck around. Part of you had expected him to leave that first night with all of your family valuables in his duffle bag, but he…hadn’t. Instead, he’d been coexisting peacefully with your siblings, spending significant amounts of time trying to get to know you better, reading, cooking on occasion, and helping with chores around the house.

He remembered in vivid detail the first time you’d trusted him enough to fall asleep with him. It had been innocent enough, one of your first times cuddling together. Your other siblings were all out of the house, so you and Digger had the house to yourselves. Naturally, you had popped in a movie. One thing had led to another and you’d ended up fast asleep on his chest.

He took a long moment to look at you, something he had never felt before welling up inside of him as slow breaths worked into and out of you.

Something changed then, and since that moment, he had been pretty attached to you. Not that you minded. It felt natural. He was your soulmate, after all.

“Princess, have you seen my—” Digger popped his head into your bedroom, frozen in his tracks when he saw you there, laying on your bed, reading a book.

“What?” You asked coyly.

“Nothing, I just…” He smirked and stepped into the room. “Would you like some company?”

“Weren’t you looking for something?”

“Yeah, my heart, and it seems you’ve been hiding it in here with you.” He replied, walking over to your bed and climbing on next to you. He gently guided your book away from you and took its place on your chest instead, looking at you with his sparkling eyes, his weight comforting on top of you.

“And here I thought you were the thief.”

“Reformed, darlin’.” He said, unable to keep the smile off of his face. For one of the only times in his life, not only did Digger feel safe, but he finally felt happy, and he knew as long as he was by your side, that feeling would never fade.

[wizkiddx]

supercluster

this is my entry for @hollandsrecs 'toms birthday fanfic fest' event - go check it out!!! I know its a early but im v bored so have it now. also im acc kinda really proud of this one, any feedback would be v appreciated 🤍

the prompt was: 'you and tom are best friends and you tell him that you love him on his birthday'

summary: its toms birthday but he has a few things to get off his chest and into the night sky, y/n joins in with a bit of a revelation too

best friends -> lovers

warnings: mentions of alcohol, bit angsty but promise ends all fluffy and a shit tonne of dialogue

wc: 3.5k ishhh

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Everything got a little too wild and stuffy in the living area, Haz and Harry screaming sweet caroline, whilst Greg (Tom’s stunt man) was pouring *another* round of shots. The sweatiness and clamminess of the room meant Y/n took a moment to escape, sliding out the double doors, and closing them softly behind her to ensure no one would notice her little escape. Something about the midnight air, the slightly dewy smell of the neighbouring fields, felt like it was refreshing Y/n from the inside out. When she turned around, back facing the fancy rented house, she was slightly shocked by Tom standing in the garden. It was his birthday party after all. In all honesty, Y/n felt a bit guilty she hadn’t noticed he wasn’t in the thick of it with his brothers and castmates.

His silhouette was set against the clear night sky, the stars extra prominent this evening and the moon casting a soft glow off the left side of his face, exaggerating the natural contours of his jawline and cheekbones. Clearly, he was enraptured by the sky, staring up at it with a thoughtful look on his face.

And Y/n recognised that look instantly; she knew what he was doing.

In fact, he had taught her to do precisely the same thing. As kids, the Hollands, Y/n’s family and another two families from the local area all went camping together. It was an annual event, ‘the Kingston collective camping adventure’ as Dom had named it. Y/n couldn’t remember a year when they hadn’t gone actually - it was that much of a tradition.

One year, though, when she and Tom were about 9, her mothers’ due date coincided with the camping dates. So, sensibly, the decision had been made that Y/n and her brother would just be looked after by the Hollands - whilst her mum and dad were safely tucked up in bed at home, awaiting the arrival of her littlest brother.

Y/n, her brother Alex, and Tom were all sharing a tent, and it must’ve been at least midnight that Tom was awoken by shuffling and zipping up of the tent. He’d realised she was gone through sleepy eyes and, without a second thought, went to go find her. Sure enough, she wasn’t far away, not even 50 metres from the tent, crouched on the grass. Immediately Tom’s presence had been noticed, making Y/m quickly snivel and wipe her face.

“Are you upset?”

“Go away Tom.” The comment didn’t do a lot, though; instead, 9-year-old Tom had planted himself down next to her - his pyjamas getting wet on the moist grass floor.

“Are you missing Auntie Sarah and Uncle Mike?” In the same way that Y/n called Nikki and Dom auntie and uncle, the Holland boys mirrored the nicknames for her parents. Y/n replied with a long sigh before hiccuping, failing to control the stream of tears. Yes, he was right - this was her first night away from her parents- but she wasn't about to spill her heart out to the 'stupid boy' who had stolen one of her marshmallows that evening. Tom’s little brown eyes swelled, looking slightly terrified and out of his depth, whilst with all his 9 years of wisdom, trying to come up with an answer.

“Do you want to play football to forget about it?”

Unsurprisingly Y/n shook her head violently. Tom cursed inwardly at himself for saying the wrong thing, apparently football wasn't the answer to everything. The two children went back to silence until Tom had the metaphorical light bulb moment. “My mum told me something for when I got to sleepovers? Look!” He grabbed Y/n’s little hand, extending it upwards towards the night sky.

“No matter where you are, you’re all looking at the same stars too, right?”

Tom jumped a little before looking over his shoulder and recognising Y/n with the softest smile that grew across his face. Y/n slowly walked to his side, arms crossed over her chest to try and keep the cold at bay, joining Tom in staring up at the starry expanse.

“How do you always know?” Tom spoke in a breathy chuckle, shaking his head slightly. It was true, she did always know - but his question was somewhat irrelevant. They'd spent most their childhood together, they were as easy to read as a children’s book to each other.

“Missing home?”

“Sort of, I got my own slice of home with the boys and-and you but… pads, mum dad yeh, feel like on your birthday your always supposed to see your family.”

Although Harry, Harrison, Sam and Y/n had managed to fly out to surprise Tom on his birthday- prior commitments meant his parents and youngest brother hadn’t been able to make it. They four arrived yesterday, greeted by a very shocked and pretty emotional Tom - who had clearly been missing the sense of home somewhat. He’d been away shooting a film, then straight away launching into press for the next spiderman movie. It had been a long while since he’d been in London - half a year in fact.

This time too, he’d been away without a single family member or friend - that was another truth he’d learnt about growing up. Your friends and family, they all get lives of their own. Tom used to be a trailblazer, the first to get a job, the one everyone was super proud of. They still were, of course, but didn’t dote on him in quite the same way - everyone had their own shit to deal with. It was yet another reason Tom wasn’t welcoming his birthday as much as he usually would.

“Your parents did always spoil you rotten.”

“They spoilt you worst and you’re not technically their kid.” Y/n rolled her eyes, even if it might slightly true - muttering a ‘touche’ at the brown-haired boy next to her. Their families had always been close; naturally the adults seemed to gravitate more to the kids that weren’t their own. The ones who you could ‘give back’ at the end of the day. It just so happened Nikki and Dom had always loved having Y/n around, maybe a bit more than anyone else.

“Have you had a good birthday then? You should be in there with Greg pouring that shitty vodka down your throat.” Y/n questioned, whilst shrugging back toward the house, the dull thump of Jacob's playlist just audible. Still, both stared upwards, standing close enough that their upper arms were both pressed up against each other. She expected a jovial answer, but even from his tone, it was evident there was something up. He sounded…weary?

“I’m bloody glad you all came...don’t get me wrong, I love Z and Jacob and everyone but….”

“Shitty week?”

“Shitty birthday week of promo and press.” Tom scathed, and Y/n nodded. Even if she couldn’t understand what was so bad about press, she knew that Tom hated it passionately. And in the same way, he loved all his castmates dearly, but they hadn’t known him his whole life. They didn’t understand why he did every little thing; their values lay just that bit apart. It just wasn’t the same as being surrounded with his family - you and Harrison adopted Hollands too.

“I just feel like I’ve spent all week trapped in a room answering the most stupid, irrelevant and inconsequential questions... Everything’s just so surface level and fake and, and I-“He cut himself off, for the first time meeting Y/n’s eyes. In all honesty, Tom got a bit caught up in the stars reflecting off her piercing y/e/c eyes before changing tack.

“Will you do me a favour?”

This wasn’t spoken with the normal Tom tone. It wasn’t joking or jovial; it wasn’t an ‘off the tongue’ thing. This was spoken with such seriousness and gravitas coming from his deep voice that Y/n replied equally truthfully.

“Always T, you know that.”

“Will you please ask me a personal and serious and deep question?”

She got where he was coming from too.

Clearly, even though the evening was supposed to be a light piss up in celebration, it had instead unearthed some darker thoughts that Tom had been harbouring away. Perhaps he never even realised he needed such seriousness, or perhaps with his castmates he hadn’t felt comfortable exposing himself like that. Either way, Y/n was going to respect him now. It was technically his birthday, too; the clocks had already struck 12 - it was now his day.

It wasn’t tricky to think of one; she’d often wondered the same question of him - never with the opportunity to ask. The question popped into her head again, almost as soon as Tom asked for one.

“Okay…. What’s your deepest regret that makes you feel guilty for feeling because in the grand scheme of things, it minor? Like such a 'first world problem'." What do you regret that’s just completely selfish?”

Tom immediately stiffened, his jaw tensing as he worked through his thoughts in his head. Scared she’d pushed it too far, Y/n averted her gaze back to the sky, chewing her bottom lip slightly. It took a moment, but then she saw Tom turn towards her, in the peripheries of her vision. With a tightly closed-lip smirk on his face he joked “If your gonna ask questions like that, we better sit down.”

And so they did, both sitting crossed legged on the ground, knees brushing against each other. Just on the grass lawn, almost mirroring themselves all those years ago as kids in that camping site. Y/n wondered if she should offer to play football instead - to cheer him up.

“Missing out. I miss out months at a time. Miss out on seeing mum and dad, miss out on the pub quizzes with the boys, miss out seeing you… I mean, I didn’t even know you had a new job until you mentioned it this morning. I miss out on time with nana Tess and all my grandparents, and that’s scary cos… well, every time I go, it could be the last time… I don’t know, I just… I get so much, get to travel, to see the world, but… sometimes it feels like I’m sacrificing the foundations. And without the foundations….”

“The walls come crumbling down.” Y/n finished off his sentence quietly, barely whispering the words - but from Tom’s nod of agreement, it seemed like she’d hit the nail on the head. There was silence for a beat till Y/n whispered to him.

“Well, happy birthday to you” Trying to bring the mood up a little, she bumped his shoulder, and Tom chuckled breathily.

“Seriously! This is helping me out. I-I just need to get everything out and start my 25th year fresh.”

“Hey, if that’s all you want, I’m getting a refund on my present- we can just get deep and interview each other.”

“I’m game, except I’m keeping the present too.”

“Just because it’s your birthday and I’m a bit tipsy, I’ll allow it.”

“Okay, well then, Y/n L/n”, He spoke formally, leaning in closer and making her giggle a little. “What’s your biggest regret?”

“Honestly?” Tom just repeated her in reply, but this time it was a statement.

"Honestly."

He really was going deep too. No holding back now. Y/n sucked on her cheek before replying. “Not travelling with you when we were 19… I was just so determined to get to uni and start grown-up life, but… well, grown-up life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I should’ve tried to stay a kid longer, messing about on your film sets and pretending it was work. I think I would’ve learnt more from seeing the world with you.”

“Well, I am very knowledgable.”

“Shut up, you drop out- who didn't know what a drag race was.” She wasn’t wrong, and whilst yes, he had dropped out to be a film star - he was still a dropout. (with exceptionally poor knowledge of RuPaul) He scowled, then leaning back on his hands, so he was half reclined on the grass as Y/n thought of her next question.

“Whats your biggest worry?”

“Easy.” He chuffed, making Y/n furrow her brows at him. Clearly, he’d already thought of this. “That I finally settle down with the love of my life, and then the fans or press or paps ruin it.”

It made sense; every time Tom had gone public with a relationship, it had ended in a minor car crash. Typically it was also the girl who got hurt; she was the ‘victim’ in everything. Though Y/n had seen first hand the effect it had had on Tom - he never made it out damage-free.

“You make it sound like you’ve already got this dream girl queued and waiting.”

“I wish”, Tom sighed, as Y/n took the opportunity to completely lie down on the grass, staring up at the dark abyss. She’d always loved the stars and had become a bit of a geek on them as they’d grown up too- and maybe it was all down to Tom on that camping trip. Following suit, Tom copied her, his head resting on his hands that were crossed behind his head, taking in the moment of pure peace as they lay on the grass.

“You see that bright one there?” Pointing up, Y/n shimmied closer to him so that he definitely saw the same thing as her. “It’s actually not one. Look closer.” Humming, Tom shifted a bit closer, so her shoulder slotted under the side of his body just the teeniest bit. It meant he could follow her direction and squinted up at the little patch of the sky.

“ 5…maybe 6? What is it?”

“The pliedes supercluster…. basically a big group of stars that all were born from the same place- the same stellar nursery.”

“But they’re moving now?” She hummed in confirmation to his question, briefly glancing at the way his eyes were fixed on the sky. For the first time he seemed genuinely interested in hearing her stories of the stars. It usually was an eye roll and ‘you’re so lame’.

“They’re called the sibling stars… like everything in life, as they get older they drift apart but…. but to us down here? They’ll always be associated together because they have a gravitational effect on each other. They’ll always have their thing tying them together. Like an invisible string.”

“Sounds like you’re being metaphorical.” Tom chuckled, expecting a taunt back but receiving nothing except a gentle agreement.

“Theres also actually 7. The last one people can only sometimes see… it’s a pulsing star, so comes and goes.”

“They do that?”

“Yeh, and no matter what… if you can see it or not, it’s always there. Always having an impact on its family.”

Biting his lower lip slightly, Tom repositioned his head slightly, Y/n’s words taking time to be fully absorbed. He was sure she was making parallels to him. Barely there, appearing and disappearing, but always a part of the family.

“You are being metaphorical.”

“Maybe.” She whispered shortly. “Metaphors depend on who’s listening and if they draw parallels to their own life. It’s subjective. You can’t tell anyone what is and isn’t metaphor…. it takes the beauty out of it.”

“Right, sure... But if you were…. me, harry, Sam, pads, you, Haz, Tuwaine? That the 7?” Y/n held back the little smile at his words. Tom wasn’t as ‘head in the clouds’ as she was- he was literal. Also, he was bloody stubborn when he wanted to be.

“I wasn’t being metaphorical T.” He knew she was lying. She knew that he knew. But it still helped him, made him feel a bit better. That he was always, in some way, having some effect... lives always intertwined with the people he cared about the most.

“Tell me another story about another star.”

Time for the rest of the night kind of got lost. The two young adults just lay on the grass, entirely in their own little world, using each others body heat to keep themselves warm through the early hours. Neither felt remotely tired, Y/n whispering her little stories of both the myths and science of the old stars, pointing out each planet. Meanwhile, Tom listened in awe, for once not taking the mick out of her incredibly geeky hobby. Instead, he found himself getting fascinated by all the little intricacies Y/n was so passionate about.

It was only when the stars began to fade, as orangey-red hue started to seep up from the horizon the either noticed the time. It was now the morning of the next day, the house long since had turned silent behind them - presumably, everyone finally passing out shit faced.

As the stars’ light was overtaken by the rising sun, Y/n ran out of stories; the two settled into silence - neither quite ready to go to bed yet.

“It’s still my turn,” Tom spoke into the sky before pivoting his head to look Y/n in the eye, seeing the confusion in her furrowed brows. “It’s my question to ask. My turn.”

“Aren’t you sick of my voice yet?” There was absolutely no reason that they were both whispering. It wasn’t like anyone was trying to listen or that they’d disturb anyone else my talking normally. But it was nicer that way. It felt calming... intimate even.

“One more. And then you get one more… and then we really should probably go to bed.” He didn’t want the night to end; he was immensely enjoying this weird grey time between being 25 and 26. But it was cold, Tom could tell Y/n had started to feel it a little more. To be fair, she was only in a floral day dress, not much in the way of warmth. With a hum of agreement, Y/n smiled lightly at him, urging his question.

“Whats the biggest secret you’ve kept from me?”

With a bit of a scoff, Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, trying to draw some strength she wasn’t sure she had. It wasn’t like she needed to wrack her brains to come up with it - she knew instantly. Almost painfully too.

“Uhm, honestly?” Now even more intrigued, Tom nodded, using his foot for nudge hers - encouraging her to speak. “Probably how much you mean to me.”

“Oh” He couldn’t help it; the sound just slipped out his mouth without checking with his brain first. That answer had just been so unexpected. He had honestly been thinking that it would be something about how ‘fame had changed him’. After hearing that, Y/n turned her head up the sky again, feeling like her cheeks were on fire with embarrassed heat. Tom knew he had fucked up.

“No, I… I didn’t mean- just just ask me too.” With a sigh, Y/n waved off his stumbled answer as he tried to cover himself.

“This is stup-“

“Ask me!” For the first time in 5 hours, Tom spoke at an normal volume - but it felt painfully loud, like a shout.

“What’s the biggest secret you kept from me?” Her tone was defeated, but nevertheless, he answered.

“How upset I was when you didn’t come when we were 19. I got why, but it was still annoying. Felt like you were picking uni friends over me-“ At this point on any other evening, Y/n would have interjected and argued. None of this situation was normal, though, so she chose to hear him out. “- I know it’s stupid, but…. I guess that’s how much you meant an-and still mean to me too.”

There was silence for a couple minutes, waiting whilst the sun started to peep over the horizon, the lone witness to an otherwise very private conversation. That was until Y/n barely spoke, more like mouthed 2 simple words.

“I lied.” The intensity of the way Tom stared at her made Y/n wish that the sun hadn’t been so bright, that they were back in the darkness that hid her face more. “Biggest lie I’ve told you … that I’m not in love with you.”

Y/n didn’t see because she couldn’t face looking at him, but Tom’s face erupted into the most prominent, toothiest smile. Whilst Tom was enjoying the moment of being absolutely ecstatic, Y/n was waiting for a response- feeling her world come crashing in. That she'd just destroyed one of the most important friendships in her life too.

But then he said the opposite of what she thought he would.

“I lied too.”

That had her attention, whipping her head toward him as Tom rolled onto his side on the lawn, balancing with his head resting on one hand. “I lied that I’ve not been completely under your spell since we were kids at that campsite, and you were homesick.”

Y/n’s heart was literally in her mouth, brain overwhelmed but one overriding thought oh so bloody clear.

She’d lost control of everything, arching up to mirror Tom. Using one hand, she reached out to cup Tom’s jaw, to which he instinctively leant toward - until their lips were mere centimetres apart, hot breath fanning over each other.

Y/n no control as she whispered those 3 words against his lips. No control at how immediately after he pressed his to hers; no control as Tom guided her to roll on top of him, knees either side of his torso as his strong arms wrapped around her back.

Once again, time was lost between the two, only pulling apart when their lungs burned for oxygen.

“For the record, I love you too.” Grinning from ear to ear, Tom used one hand to gently stroke his thumb across her cheek, switching his focus from her left to right eye - in wonder at how the early morning sun reflected from her y/e/c irises. He’d always thought she was beyond beautiful, but when she was this close to him, with the sun rising behind her in such a way - she looked damn ethereal.

“Happy birthday T.” Nodding in agreement, Tom chuckled before finding her lips once again, whispering against them.

“Yeh, happy damn birthday to me.”

~~~~let me know what you think ;) ~~~~~

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