#and ambrosia was like. but ur my bro.

[evtoine]

AH

[posallys]

ok 1 ur desktop theme is GORG and 2 i need (if u wanna) ur thoughts about the show (or show sally in gen bc ur the only one i trust with her)

thank you!! i was actually thinking about updating it but maybe i wont 🤭🤭 and i have a lot of thoughts about the show except none only very few of them are good and i will be crucified by the 13-year-olds

im going to tell you anyway.

i will start with something i like....percy being angry. like yes give me the anger of a 12 year old who feels utterly alone in the world and doesn't understand (or does and it makes him more angry)

the fight scenes are dog shit. the only kind of cool one was in the arch but it was only cool because of percy doing the bait and switch and falling through the arch...the fights are bland boring sucky whatever other synonym you wanna use

uhhhhh sally jackson is not and would never be sitting in the rain pining of the god she told to leave....and especially not to teen pop...if she WERE going to act like a 16 year old and do the pining thing it would be to fucking like...billy joel and ricky martin and donny hathaway and stuff llike that okay...

i will preface this by saying that yes i understand that talking back to an abuser the way sally does in ep 1 doesn't make the abuse less abusive....however i DO not like the fact that that scene explicitly goes against sally characterization in the books....i am not digging my book out atm but the part where percy is like "my mother has never raised her voice or said an unkind word to anyone"....me thinks the writers all read the books 10 years ago and are going off of memory alone + or their brains are so clouded by the obsessive Big Screen Need to make women a badass girlboss slay queen i fucking hate it here

LET ANNABETH BE SILLY AND FUNNY AND CUTE AND CRY AND NOT BE AN ADULT THANK YOU....hated that they made annabeth the one to realize that it was medusa and not grover...give me back grover having to wrangle percy and annabeth into backpack leashes just to keep them on task/stop them from wandering off...book trio i miss you

i absolutely ADORE leah, walker, and aryan though the three of them are so so perfect, A+ casting no notes couldn't have done it better myself. if it weren't for the three of them i would have zero hope for the show i cannot lie...they're carrying. without them it's just..bad.

the pacing???? bad.

why did we waste half of the 4th ep on the train with echidna...stupid dumb pointless i hate it here

i do like the whole not all monsters are monsters and the gods aren't inherently good just because they're gods thing they've got going on though...very inch resting...silently hoping that they do a complete 180 and have percy side with luke and redo the series from there because that would be iconic as fuck <3 a girl can dream because at least then i could take the show at face value and not take 80 health damage every time they mess up a key part of the books...im at -29834 heath rn.

where was the time at chb before the quest??? the oh so important vital scene where luke teaches percy to sword fight???? like BRO that's soooooooooooo important to ME how could you get rid of that

not having annabeth show percy around camp

additionally, not having annabeth feed him the nectar and ambrosia, WHICH BY THE WAY they haven't even mentioned in the show yet...plot armor gone rip

not the fredrick chase sympathy while simultaniously blaming the woman...........rick when i get my hands on you...

annabeth having to EARN thalia's love??? absolutely not probably one of their biggest fuck ups fr.

the scene where sally is talking about Poseidon to percy...i do not like it sam i am. bad. not wistful enough not longing enough not sad enough not gut wrenching enough...also not completely here for sally telling percy that his dad was a god because....sallys whole thing was NOT telling him in order to keep him safe...i know they changed it in the show so sally knew he was going to camp immediately but that does not mean i have to like it

the scene with sally and percy in the pool. i hated everything about that. sally would never talk to percy like that never talk to him about money never make it seem embarassing NOT TO MENTION that percy simply wasn't scared of the water. that's stupid as fuck. theres a part in the book where percy literally says being by the water calms both him and his mom like...come the fuck on just admit you can't fucking read or at least didn't read the book.

sally annabeth get behind me so they cant hurt you anymore

i did loveeeee percy praying to sally though...absoutely insane and true of them. also the "I AM SALLY JACKSON'S SON" yesss baby you tell them about your mommy!!!!!!

them making athena moa level bad in tlt is quite interesting. setting up annabeth siding with percy pretty well.

also the whole impertinence thing over medusa's head was weird to me. when annabeth first said that i had immediately thought that annabeth's impertinence was telling percy to pray to poseidon IN ATHENA'S TEMPLE bc that made much more sense to me...but whatever

the annabeth/medusa parallel is intriguing at the very least

the underwater scene with the neraid was cool even though i hated the parallel to the pool scene w/ sally.

the dumbass pinecone fate line. 0/10 did you read the book? did you pay attention to how empathetic and reflective percy was when he found out about thalia?

honestly....i think disney was just the wrong place to go with this show because it's like what...pg? it should be pg 13 and should have more... sustenance.

this medusa was so cool though. which we could've seen a fight.

i need to know how many women are in the writer's room though...because It Does Not Look Good. funny how the characters that they're fucking up are all women....crazy. weird. totally coincidental.

are we just not going to talk about the vitality and pressure of getting the bolt back on time? where is the inherent inevitable danger, the suspense, the fear of not accomplishing a seemingly impossible talk looming over everything

this is 10000% not all of my thoughts but im not going to rewatch in order to collect them all so this is what you get xoxox

[pondslime]

I've been absent from Tumblr for a couple of days and somehow my FYP is full of Sinclair thots??.?? Is this some national holiday?🥶🥶🥶🥶 I have so many that gnawl at my brain at night.

Imagine calling Bo Beauregard for the first time🤐🤐🤐 You're either trying to be serious and have a real conversation with him for the first time since settling in Ambrose (spoiler: this is impossible. He's misogynistic and a firm believer that there's nothing to talk about with girls🩷🩷🩷🩷 he gives off that TikTok vibe "Do girls even have hobbies?" Like bro, drinking bear and crying ain't a hobby either), or you're so exhausted with his neanderthal shenanigans that you just sigh "Beauregard...." while absolutely pissed off and annoyed.

I just KNOW mama Sinclair would call him Beauregard in that no-nonsense tone when he would rip a hole in his dress pants before church , he must have PTSD from hearing his own freaking name. He's so used to being just Bo, that the only times he even acknowledges his full name are when he's either being scolded by his parents or when he's arrested and sees it on the paperwork.

So yeah, long story short I doubt he'd be amused by anyone calling him Beauregard. RIP MC.

*bonus crack thought* I remember talking here with someone about how Fucking Funny™ would it be to call Bo Robert. I'm not a native English speaker and I honestly never heard of the name Beauregard before😭😭😭 I just assumed Bo is like Bob, which is Robert😂😂😂😂 I'd get smacked on the head with a wrench for trying to be cute and calling him Robert. End scene

omg jhdsjhfjd not the fyp being inundated w/my dumbassery 💀

I lowkey felt like I was spamming the dash last night. BUT idk what came over me, I've had a couple days off work and I'm in a chatty mood hjhdsjahjhsdjh like. I just wanna TALK about this goofy ass movie?? **note to all the poor souls that might be following me rn: pls feel free to block the tag "sinclair brainrot hours" if u would like to save urself from my shenanigans**

this ask is killin me dshjhdfsjhj DRINKING BEER AND CRYING AIN'T A HOBBY BOY

I'm unfortunately part of the Anti-Beauregard Sinclair Hater Nation. I am, after all, the graphic designer responsible for THIS abomination:

context for this can be found here, with poki's galactic big brain take

I also love this take on what his real actual name is 🐔🧊

I just CANNOT buy this guy as a beauregard hdjhdfjh I simply cannot

HOWEVER. I do this thing w/ppl I'm fond of where I'll lengthen their names in ridiculous ways. like just add in entire syllables and letters that just. wholly don't exist. and I could see one of two situations playing out w/bing bong

scenario one: u drop a "beauregard" out of the blue one day. maybe you're trying to be cute. maybe you're trying to piss him off. he looks over @ u. crinkles his brow and gives u the bitchest lil expression. u best be glad u make good pork chops, WOMAN. bc u can't even remember his NAME. who tf u think ur talkin to??? one of ur fancy shmancy city boys?? get outta here!! just grumblin' around the living room abt how if u want some prissy ass boy w/a genteel ass name like that, his brother's right downstairs grumble grumble mutter mutter

scenario two:

he's been slurpin up that good ambrose moonshine (some crazy ass shit that comes in a jug w/x's on it. u know the one. lester labeled it as "ambrosia" and walks around saying it's the "fruit of the gods" and slappin his knee. bo has no fuckin' idea what he's saying.) and despite his high tolerance, boy's a bit sloshed. so are u. u drunkenly crawl into his lap and call him beauregard. he thinks this is v heehaw funny. whatchu think I am girl?? some kinda royalty?? that pretty lil head of urs is all kindsa messed up!! figure I AM like a king here hehehehehe

both equally as annoying😔

[rebelliouslala]

Poseidon

so you’ve been a servant of poseidon for idk, about like a decade or two?

because you cook for him, you often tend to whatever food he wants

which is usually seafood

he fucking loves food so you work a LOT, but you never really got to see him in person because he’s tending to the entire goddamn sea

that was until he had an urgent meeting to go meet his brothers on mount olympus

he specifically asked for you to come along?

“Why?!” you almost died and burned yourself since you were cooking lol

your boss, his son, Triton, kind of shrugs “idk bro he just said the chef that makes him the seafood”

Triton basically explains u gotta be his servant for the trip, basically assisting in anyway he wants

lowkey you’re like oh??? ;)))

you left work early for the first time in like five years so you can pack for this MyStERioUs trip

the next day, you were supposed to be there by like dawn

you arrived there two hours late

he’s on his chariot, his back turned, and you held your heavy luggage

you were late because this is POSEIDON AND THE OLYMPIAN GODS

what if they wanted to hook up ;)

anyways ur all like “im so sorry your majesty”

he turns around, and you knew that dressing up was definitely worth it

he has fancy blue hair, and THE prettiest eyes, the color of stone—

it just hit you so hard in the head you look at the rest of his outfit

it’s a black suit, and a blue button down that matched his hair, which he pushes back

dude you almost had a nosebleed underwater lmao

“Well it’s better to get on now, than later, miss Y/N”

HE KNEW YOUR NAME????!w,defmnojr3bifnpomw

you obey him

but see the chariot fucking

LAUNCHES out of the sea

you cling onto his arm, and you kinda turn a little pink beause heh u felt his biCeP

soon you feel the weird substance that is oxygen

you wrinkle your nose, since you were raised in the sea, and he puts his hand on your lower back, until you got used to the air

not at all sexual but you turned red

the chariot slows down and you and he are floating in the sky

“you’re very quiet” he says suddenly, making the chariot move north

“hmm? oh, yes your majesty, forgive me”

he shrugs, making the chariot gain a little more speed, “it’s alright, why were you late?”

you blush, “well, i wanted to make sure i was ready for this trip, you know?”

“ah, it’s only for a weekend, and I want this as short as possible, really”

“But it’s Mount- The Palace of Olympus!”

the god chuckles, “it’s also my stupid brothers”

you laugh a little, before widening your eyes, “Wait-”

“It’s fine, i hate my brothers”

the rest of the ride is silent, except for the occasional and polite question of who you are, and what he desired at the moment

which was usually just a little crisp seaweed

you land, and you’re a little shook by how the other gods are tall

Hades, nicknamed Bin you learn, rides in a little later after Poseidon

“MINHYUK!” he screams, hugging him

“hi u weirdo” he mumbles, hugging his older brother, you kind of giggle

zeus appears

And never before have you actually want to be a goddess before

you bow, a little intimidated by him, especially on how he is more formally dressed, rather than poseidon

“ah, finally, you both made it, i thought apollo sabotaged your chariots like he did with Helios”

“is that what we’re here for?” Bin asks

zeus nods “let me lead the pretty ocean nymph to her room of course,” he smirks at you

poseidon steps in front of you before you can respond, “I got it, i’ll meet you there,”

you hang your head low, and follow him quickly, holding his bags along with your own

“your majesty did i do something wrong?”

he turns back once you enter your room, and he shakes his head

“just stay here, okay?”

so you do, you organize his room, which is very lavish, with fluffy and heavy blankets, all a pretty ocean blue

yet there are mocking seashells and surfboards to decorate his room

you take out a few things, humming and you put his clothes away

he’s actually more neat than you realize, which is probably why you’re only his cook for this trip

by nightfall he comes in, and you’re almost finished organizing your own room

you quickly go to the door, and bow, “hello your majesty”

he looks a little tired, mumbling something before you watch him go to his room

“uh, sire?”

“just make some sweets”

so you grab him his favorite candy, ambrosia suckers and you knock on his door

he opens the door, shirtless

but he has eye bags and his hair is messy

he was obviously getting ready for bed

you try your best not to blush or stare at his perfection of a body as you hand it to him

“thank you, Y/N,” he mumbles

before he can close the door, you clear your throat

but then you decide to say fuck it and hug him

you didn’t rly know why but then the words seem to almost spill out like a waterfall

“i’m sorry about this trip, if there’s anything i can do, your majesty, tell me”

then u finally pull away because you realize he’s ripped

and he’s also the guy u work for

he kind of just nods, and before you can apologize he closes the door

so you go to sleep wondering if you’ll be fired

and if he even cared at all what you said

the next morning, he’s gone, and you sigh, but hey you’re not fired

you organize his room, and you see he ate everything

or he threw it away, but you didn’t see anything in the trash

you organize the rest of your room, and as an apology, you decide to make his favorite meal

the plate is first topped with lettuce, and to the side there is your carefully cooked lobster, chopped up salmon fish next to a scattering of oysters and shrimp, all doused in ambrosia sauce

by dawn you finish the extravagant meal

but soon it gets later

and later

and later

you fall asleep on the couch waiting for him, and only a half an hour later, Minhyuk enters the room

he smelled the meal a mile away

he smiles at you, rubbing his eyes because jfc he can never stand his brothers

and he was thinking about that hug all day so he couldn't focus on what to do with his BROTHER’S SON

like it’s not his problem

but Minhyuk scoops you up though, watching you sleep

before he takes you to his bed, smiling lovingly at you

he kisses you on the top of your forehead, stroking your hair

“thank you, Y/N, i couldn’t have asked for more,”

[rebelliouslala]

Helios

The hot summer sun is practically burning your back

and your travel from your small village to Athens just started

sure you didn’t rly get out often but goddamn this hill was HUGE

you were sUPER anxious to sell your load of fruit

you needed more fabric so you can become a weaver

because it’s ancient greece

yeah

today wasn’t the greatest day to go out since it was pretty sunny

and there were no clouds to help the sun not bake you

you still walk up towards a hill, pulling rly rly rly rly heavy bags of fruit

your brows were getting all sweaty

by the time you’re nearing the peak you look up at the sun to check the time

Problem was there was no sun

you’re kinda like, “? uhm, is the sun god Helios on a break?”

“Damn—”

There’s a loud metal clunk and a scream from the top of the hill

You stop on your path, looking near the peak of the hill, wondering what the fuck THAT was

u see this weird and large, bright yellow glow, and you gasp softly

“Hello? Sanha if you’re over there I’m going to kill you!” the voice is loud, making you stumble back

but you fall back, squealing softly once you realize your balance is uneven due to the fruit

“Hello?” someone says, hearing your fall

“Uh, yes?” You respond quietly

There’s a gasp, and the bright light dims

You look over at a handsome man

He smiles in relief it’s almost as bright as the light from earlier

wiping his brow he happily runs down from the top

his hair is messy and it bounces with each step

his skin is gorgeous

like what the hell you had okay skin but he was a really nice tan that you just adore

aphrodite must’ve blessed him

“Hello mortal! Or- er, sorry I don’t see mortals often.”

You gasp softly, and get on your knees, cursing yourself for being in awe

with

a

GOD

“F-Forgive me oh mystical one! Hello! It is an honor to meet you.”

u didn’t know wtf else to say

His touch is warm as he help you up, a frown on his face, “I don’t mind. And please don’t have to do that either.”

you look over, “Is that your chariot?”

“Yeah, my bastard cousin, or whatever, he starved my horses! MY horses! My precious Tony and Stark are so hungry they can’t fly.”

you push your bag of fruit in front of you, like an offering to the worried god “I don’t know what, uh, winged horse eat, but will this suffice?”

His face lights up, like the sun, and he takes it, “Oh my GODS yes it is you’re a literal life saver,”

he runs back with a squeal, and the glow becomes brighter, you shield your eyes instinctively until you feel an hand touch your arm

“I cannot thank you enough. if I didn’t get them anything the day would be VERY long, and i’m so tired,” he pouts

oh my god ur heart almost combusted he looks so babie

“of course, uh,” you finally feel a little regret since he just took a whole bag from you, so now you would get less fabric

“Say, where are you going?” he asks, grabbing your bag and holding it, and you can see his arms bulging oh-

“uh, am i scaring you or-?”

you snap back into reality and gulp, “Oh, well, I was going to Athens,” you point, kinda in the west

honestly all you know is to follow the path

“that’ll take two days!” the man cries, and he tsks, dragging you with the other arm “I’LL take you, besides I owe you one,”

you sigh in relief because you were probably like half a day journey’s in and you wanted to die

“thank you so much, sun god,”

“call me Myung Jun, or MJ!” he smiles wide, flashing his pretty teeth

you have to look away because sweetie you turned redder than the goddamn sea

see what i did there okay sorry

you look at a huge chariot, in front are two pure white pegasus -pegasi? ack- and you pull away to pet them

after all who meets winged horses everyday

“that’s Stark, the one next to him is Tony,”

“What odd names,” you mumble, before Stark bows her head to you

you smile wide as Tony nudges you with his head

you giggle and you look at the fruit they haven’t really finished, so you offer an apple

Tony takes a huge bite, making you laugh louder, and talk to him

now it’s the sun god’s turn to blush

he has definitely met mortal women before, but you make him all >~<

usually mortals want to get laid with him

But you were here being soft with his horses and that was just so adorable

“So, uh, we better get on,” MJ kinda mumbles, and you get on

“You might wanna cover your eyes”

“Why?”

“We gods are very powerful, and mortals that witness it can often go mad, that or we just obliterate them”

god. damn. you obey, since you at least have some sort of will to live

especially with this flaming hunk beside you

you feel some sort of warmth rush down your body like chills

you fall back when the chariot takes off

“okay, open your eyes, are you okay?!” he helps you up, and look at him

now you can see he truly was a god, on his head is a yellow crown, and he just looks so flawless you wanna kiss him

aphrodite was definitely messing with you what the hell

you look at his face instead as you try to control yourself

because bro he’s a god why would he like you???

so you nod, and he helps you sit on your bag, holding the reigns to the chariot

you and he are already WAY back up in the air, and the wind is cool and pretty friendly overall, despite the high height

“So, why Athens?” he ties to the reigns to the side of his gold chariot, sitting in front of you and taking your fruit

You gesture to the bag, standing up, “That, I uh, I need fabric to start to weave”

“you don’t have sheep? Gaia made all of that for you!” he pouts

you giggle from his pout, shaking your head, pointing to where your village was

“we’re too poor to afford that, so i grow the fruit,”

MJ stands up and widens his eyes, “What? I just ate and used your fruit for my horses! this won’t be enough!”

you try and explain to him it’s fine

like he’s a god why is he worried about you???

bug he shakes his head

“no, listen, uh,” he leans over his chariot, to like the back of it where he keeps his harp

problem is

he’s leaning over YOU

you kinda knew it was weird but you took a breath in

he smells sweet, you couldn’t put your finger on it, but it’s the sweetest smell ever

you could kind of assume ambrosia

but he pulls away before you can come to a conclusion, leaving you all pink

he pulls out a long and wide, glittering fabric

“i’ve had this for so long, usually we save this stuff for like heroes, but uh,” he hands it to you, and you can see it’s sme sort of gold colored silk

your mind rushes to all sorts of ideas to weave on it as he smiles, “if you cut a piece of it off, it regrows itself to be the same exact size as it’s first piece, it’s endless”

you dont even realize you’ve teared up when you embrace him, “I-I don’t even know what to say, this is the best gift Ive ever recieved!”

MJ turns RED and he hugs you too, nodding, “you deserve it,” he mumbles

you and he sort of just lay in each other’s arms for the rest of the day

the sun god makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts

he even teases you when you snort, leaving you to never stop laughing

however, because of his speedy chariot, you’ve arrived to Athens already

by this time there’s only a few hours until MJ has to set his chariot off at his palace

he lands on a hill, and he helps you off

he secretly puts a charm on the bag so it’s not heavy for you to carry

“Myung Jun,” you say, and you smile wide when he turns pink as the dawn

literally his little sister, Eos is like a few hours away you can see her

“Thank you, for everything, I’ve never had any fun like this, and, I thank you for your gifts,”

MJ holds your hand, and his heart lurches to his throat

before you can pull away, MJ holds you close for another warm embrace

You both hold each other for felt like ages, which is just what you needed as a goodbye

you smelling his ambrosia scent, and him taking in the feeling of just

you

“Hey,” he mumbles

“Yes?” you say into his chest, before looking up

“maybe, I can pick you up from that hill we met, I’m thinking the day after tomorrow? when you come back from athens?’

MJ rubs the back of his neck and says quietly, “I would love to show you my palace,”

you smile, lean up to kiss his pretty sun kissed cheek as you mumble back, “I would love that,”