#and although they kinda fail at it they seem to be the most normal of the group LMAO

[jellosarts]

it's 10 pm, time to post my Lethal "sona" concept art from a drawing sesh with friends a bit ago

[dinogoofymutated]

NSFW!Gladiator/AFAB!reader

Tmi warning but I'm about to start my period and I've been loosing my mind over fictional men. It's like ovulating but WORSE. Mostly over Cable, but @lina-lovebug sent in an ask about gladiator from episode 6 and although I'm definitely going to write it I got distracted while doing research on him and this kinda happened!!! Speaking of which, in your ask you said you were starving for content for him so I figured I go ahead and tag you :) sorry if NSFW isn't your thing.

Anyway, Big, serious men with no humor are making me absolutely feral this week IM NAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSRE UGHHHH For those who don't remember gladiator is, He's the hot purple dude that punched the shit out of the bird lady lol

TWs: MDNI!!! Pnv sex. Name calling. Not degradation tho. Too many positions, too much stamina. Purple alien man doesn't know how to process his feelings for you™

Imagine annoying gladiator with your every being. You just can't help it. Most of the time the stoic man just ignores you outright, never smiling nor even acknowledging you, period.

To be honest, he didn't like how talkative you were. You were always running your mouth about something or other, and when you weren't, you were teasing him. Holding simple and insignificant "victories" over his head due to your origin as a mutated human terran.

On your side, you just wanted him to acknowledge you. You figured he wouldn't be able to ignore you forever. Whatever strange relationship the two of you had, the one thing that seemed to affect him the most was your mutant abilities - or specifically, the parts of your abilities that effect your stamina.

When you realized you had a stamina bar that very much rivaled gladiators own, your teasing had started to take a turn towards something a little more lustful.

You just never expected Gladiator to take you up on your offer to have a friendly little "stamina competition."

You've lost count of how many positions the two of you have gone through. Both of you are panting, sweaty- sticky. Really sticky. Who knows how much time is passed, but neither of you are willing to quit now. Gladiator currently has your knees over his shoulders, pounding into your slick cunt steadily. His hands are holding onto your hips in a tight grip, pulling you onto him each time he bottoms out.

"You are... infuriating. Annoying. Agh- Hah-... Greedy. I've pushed you to the brink, and still, you want more." Kallark says above you, his voice still surprisingly steady in between his moans of pleasure. Your own throat is sore from taunting him in between your own moans and screams of delight.

"I-fuck! I can go as long as you go, pretty boy." You say, smirking at him. Gladiator Scowls at you, face flushed, sweat beading down his forehead. You doubt you look much better, the both of you pushing each other to the farthest limits of your stamina. You let out an embarrassing shriek as Kallark leans forward, bending you in half as he presses your thighs to your chest, hitting the deepest spots inside of you. Kallark's usually steady thrusting begins to become a little more frantic as he starts to reach his umpteenth peak of the day. -but his thrusts become unsteady. Inconsistent. You're finally starting to tire him out, you think.

"Aww, look at that- ah... You're beginning to slip, Kallark." You taunt him. His hand reaches up to cup your face harshly, his grip slightly tighter than normal. He turns your head to face him as his heated gaze pierces your own.

"Would you- please, stop talking."

By the time the two of you are finally out of breath, you swear that At least an entire 24 hour period has gone by. Hell, maybe even longer. You and gladiator are sprawled out side by side. Your eyes are closed, fading in and out of consciousness as you try (and fail) to collect yourself. You feel weight shift next to you as Kallark rolls onto his side. He's full on against you now, a hand settling on your chest to feel the quick beats of your human heart. It's strange. Not like him. You open your eyes, finding yourself lost in the sight of Kallark. He's looking at you with a mix of fond emotions, and for the first time, it's almost like his brain has stalled. Like a computer stuck in between the loading screen.

"Kallark?” You whisper. He doesn't respond. Doesn't even blink.

“You okay there, big guy?" You try again, biting your lip. Kallark's gaze catches the motion, then trailing down to the bruises he's left in your neck- “hickeys” is what he remembers you calling them. He can feel his heart do something strange, and he chooses to look back up at your face instead. Your flushed cheeks. Kiss-swollen lips. Messy hair. He feels a familiar heat as his body reacts to such a lustful sight.

"Vixen. Temptress. I know not what you've done to me. " Kallark finally says, thumb gently pulling your bottom lip away from the pinch of your teeth. You raise an eyebrow at him, not mockingly, just confused. He then reaches up to brush the hair from your face, an action fueled by a much more gentle warmth in his chest.

"...I don't believe you know what you've done, either." He whispers. You can't help but smile at him, especially as you reach up to caress his cheek and he leans into the contact with a sigh.

"Well… we have plenty of time to figure that out together."

[oneshlut]

Can you do The Amazing Digital Circus characters meeting the reader for the first time?

A/N: ofcofc!! thanks for the request, i ADORE writing for tadc! <33 (keeping these platonic since most characters i write for in tadc are platonic)

Another New Home (TADC & Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: General meeting/friendship headcanons for ALL characters of TADC

Caine:

Seeing as he's the ringmaster, Caine introduces himself first!

Tries to be a bit less louder than he was with Pomni. She's actually been talking with him lately, trying to get him to be a bit more friendly! And human!

Can you blame him for being slightly rude? He's not even human, so he can't be blamed for not understanding certain emotions.

But you help him understand! He'll ask you from time to time about what certain human things mean.

When you first spawned into the circus, Caine helped pick out a name for you! By that I mean he chose it for you. You didn't get a say in anything.

Your relationship now? Well, he makes sure you don't get abstracted! That's enough for a good friend, right?

Pomni:

Immediately freaked out hearing a new name in the theme song. DESPERATELY hopes you're not too weird, like Kinger or.. Jax? Well, she hopes you're not rude like Jax

After meeting you, she's pleasantly surprised! You two can kinda relate to your situation. Jax likes to call you two the "newbies".

Pomni tries her best to explain to you what the digital circus even means for you, what abstraction is, and what not. She may not be able to answer all of your questions, though.

Thinks you're one of the "normal" ones to hang out with. Tries sticking with you during Caine's adventures. (She just needs someone else that gets her. Luckily, you fit that role perfectly.)

If she's comfortable enough with you, some days she may visit you in your room! Pomni doesn't do this often, though, so feel lucky.

Overall, the two of you are existential crisis buddies! If you become friends with her, be prepared for lots of deep thoughts and.. well, confusion.

Ragatha:

Ragatha is always eager to meet someone new in the circus! Despite how dire your situation may be, she tries her best to cheer you up.

Every morning she checks the doors before going down to the grounds, and that morning she found your door. Your design intrigued her, she just had to meet you!

She definitely explains abstraction better than Pomni tried to. When you get nervous about.. well, going insane, she heavily reassures you. Although Caine's adventures may seem like hell, they're actually pretty fun! Sometimes.

Ragatha shows you to your room, before she lets you get to know everyone else. She tries to stay optimistic for you, but you can kinda feel her underlying worries about the situation as she explains it.

She's definitely one of the easier people in the circus to get along with. If you get to know her a bit better, she may open up to you! Ragatha will try to tell you everything she knows about her past self, but she's left with very little wisps of what she used to be like.

Ragatha is on the more nicer and motherly side of the group, so when you can you try to spend time with her. If you put in the right effort, Ragatha will become really fond of you!

Jax:

If you've read my other works, you'll know Jax isn't one for new people. And at the same time he is. He's really indecisive.

But meeting you wasn't too bad. You weren't overwhelmingly annoying, but you did have some elements to your character that he could tease or make fun of.

Your first impression of Jax was.. honestly kind of bad. He was a complete dick, what more do you expect? To say the least, his antics did not help your increasing confusion.

If you still hang out with him after your horrible introductions, he would be.. amused. Becoming friends with Jax was just setting yourself for failure. Walking into a bear trap.

He teased you, pranked you relentlessly, and made sure you failed horribly during Caine's adventures. Why? I dunno, it was funny.

Jax will tone down his asshole nature as time goes on, and the closer you are with him.

You'll know he's placed his full trust in you when he asks you to help him out with a prank.

Zooble:

According to Zooble, her name for you was 'weirdo' in her head until she met you. As is for everyone, I suppose.

Your first meeting was.. awkward? You had asked her how her limbs worked, detachable and all. It was intriguing to hear about, though.

One thing you shared in common with her was probably both of your lackluster attempts at Caine's adventures, before just deciding to give up.

When you were too tired to commit to an adventure, you'd hang out with Zooble. She was nice company, and much different from others who were much more chaotic. Spending time with Zooble gave your brain a rest, a chance to slow down. And.. it was nice.

Zooble may seem unwilling to befriend you, but I promise she's trying. Not many people actually try to befriend her, unless it's Jax. If you count Jax's pranks as a way of befriending.

In all honesty, when you first met her, you kinda thought she would be.. crazy. Like Kinger. Maybe it was her design, with all the colors in all its glory, but you found yourself pleasantly surprised!

As long as you aren't a natural annoying person, or push buttons like Jax, Zooble eill probably grow fond of you! She won't admit it, though.

Gangle:

Oohh, Gangle. She's a tough one. Right now she's focused on her comedy mask, and doesn't even notice you when you first spawn in.

When you come to say hi, she's still in sorrows. She wishes you could've seen her happier side when you first arrived..

You try to help Gangle fix her mask, but you.. kinda end up making it worse. You apologize profusely. Don't worry, she forgives you. She may have just cried a bit more.

The more you hang out with her, the more comfortable she will get with you. She's a tough one to break, so it may take a while for Gangle to become fully trusting in you.

Try not to make any sudden movements or bursts of affection, because she will cry. Gangle, being as emotional as she is, will probably break down if you're too nice to her. They're happy tears, I swear. She's just not as used to affection like she was before.

As you grow closer, you begin to notice the little things. Gangle begins to show hints of smiles, and if you're lucky, she'll giggle a bit at a joke.

If you're patient with Gangle, she'll get attached to you. Sorry, no take backsies. She's just happy to finally have someone to feel safe around.

Kinger:

Kinger is.. a wild card. Don't get me wrong, Kinger is one of my favorite characters, but you have to admit he's a bit startling at times. And confusing. So imagine meeting him after being transported to another reality, already confused enough with your current situation, and now having to deal with Kinger's personality.

Him being a bit, you know.. coo-coo, he kinda ignored you at first. Kinger thought he was just hallucinating again, as per usual. Then you spoke, and he immediately jumped.

Speaking to him leaves you a bit frazzled, but you don't mind. He asks a lot of confusing questions about you, like how many half-syllables are in your name. You don't even know your name yet..

But you spend time with him anyways, he can be fun at times! He's decently helpful on adventures, and is a joy to have outside of Caine's antics. (What I'm trying to say here is that you build fortresses together.)

Kinger categorizes all of his friends using chess pieces. He says your a knight. Not even he knows why, he just one day told you that you seemed like a knight.

Grow close enough, and this humanized chess piece will ramble on and on about plants and insects to you. When he's ranting, you can barely make out anything he says, as his words naturally seem to blend together. Honestly? He's probably neurodivergent.

One day he'll tell you about Queenie. But it's gonna take a while. Estimated 5 years. For now, you two are great friends! In a way, Kinger feels like this weird childhood friend you never had. And Kinger.. still sees you as a knight.

[notf1obsessed]

a little flirting hurt no one (Charles Leclerc x Carlos Sainz)

Carlos is hopelessly in love with Lando, but isn't sure how to break it to him. That is until Charles comes up with a plan, to make Lando jealous. Fake dating. But what they don't expect is for their fake relationship to turn real.

Chapter 19: Pretty when you cry

side a/n: I was meant to release this way earlier sorry abt that.

A/N: IM BACK FROM THE DEAD (for now). so super super sorry about all that, a shit ton happened in this past month which kinda prevented me from updating (and also my laziness). I'm on vacation rn but it won't be long and only about 2 weeks. I'll hopefully get back into my habit of posting every 2 weeks if all goes well. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter! (It's pretty short just to move things along but I promise next one will be longer)

Don't say you need me when,

You leave and leave again,

I'm stronger than all my men,

Except for you,

- Pretty when you cry - Lana Del Rey

________________________________________________

When Charles awoke that morning, he found a weight holding his waist down, and an extra leg sprawled over his. Turning his head, he was reminded of the embarrassing scene (in his opinion at least) that had unfolded the night prior. Flustering, Charles quickly rolled away from Carlos's grasp, thankful to the fact Carlos hadn't woken up.

Sitting up, the Monegasque realized there was no escaping this, he was in the middle of the sea for gods sake. So doing what any rational person would do, he got up, brushed his teeth, and plopped back onto the couch phone in hand. His finger mindlessly scrolled through the endless masses of content, passing the time until Carlos woke up and they could go get breakfast.

Much like Charles, Oscar also happened to be awake; barely getting any sleep that night. The scene in the bathroom kept replaying in his head, guilt crippling over him, as if he was the one who had crashed his lips onto Carlos's. Alas, he didn't want to worry Lando, so he kept his doll face on, not a challenging task for him considering he's had to do it many times before in media.

Finally, the Spaniard eyes fluttered open, rubbing circles at them as he yawned.

"Good morning," he said as he got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom.

"Good morning to you too," Charles tried to repeat with the least amount of anxiety in his voice, clearly failing as he cringed at the way he said it.

Unlike Charles, Carlos didn't seem to have an ounce of worry or care in the world, as if cuddling your teammate was the most normal everyday thing to do.

"Are you okay?" The Spaniard asked after brushing his teeth, "after what happened last night."

"Yes, yes perfectly fine you don't have to worry," Charles stated in panic, embarrassment filling him.

"Well you can always talk to me Charles, I'm your teammate and also your friend."

The reassurance made Charles feel a little less flustered and a little warmer, knowing that he could trust and count on somebody was a nice feeling to have.

"Now cmon we need to get to breakfast," he added, grabbing a set of clothes and retreating back into the bathroom to change, "I've already texted Lando we'll be down in 20."

After taking turns changing, the two drivers made their way downstairs and to the restaurant entrance, which to their surprise, was relatively empty.

"There you are!" Lando stated joyfully, "we've been waiting for you two!"

Laughing, Carlos playfully snapped in return, "I said we'd be down here in 20, so impatient."

As they took their seats, Charles couldn't help but notice the tired expression on Oscar's face, dark bags beneath his eyes that barely seemed to open. He's seen this sate before, many times, in himself.

There was something up with Oscar.

Although he knew there was something worrying Oscar , he decided not to approach the subject around a group of people, especially when he knew the Australian didn't trust him enough.

Lando chewed at the plate of hash browns and eggs he had brought, with Carlos and Charles opting for pancakes and eggs.

Oscar however, barely had any food on his plate, to which Charles was quick to notice.

This was more serious than he thought.

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom, be back in a sec," said the Australian after swirling his food around his plate.

After he had made his way to the bathroom, Charles decided to interfere.

"Me too," he added, knowing for a fact the Aussie wasn't going to the bathroom for the right reasons, let alone any reason. He needed to figure what was wrong before it escalated any further.

Making his way through the restaurant and to the bathroom, he was weary to not startle the younger one, after all he needed to make sure Oscar could trust him.

The Aussie was stood facing the mirror, hands on sink and lost in thought.

"Hey mate," the Monegasque said as he approached the spot next to the other one. He seemed to snap out of thought at the sound of Charles, yet he gave no reply.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he almost immediately replied, voice full of nervousness and doubt.

"I know something's wrong, you can't keep lying to yourself and me," Charles stated, feeling worry for the boy as if he was his own son.

Knowing there was no escaping this, the other let out a sigh, though he wasn't going to just blurt out the full truth.

"I'm just...feeling a lot of weight on my shoulders recently, like this guilt that doesn't belong to me is still burdening me."

"Do you know what it is?" Charles pushed, wanting to get the answer out of him.

Although it was clear he pushed too far as the younger seemed to tense up and divert his gaze.

Knowing he had crossed a boundary, there was no getting more answers today, he would have to earn his further trust.

"Well if you ever want to talk about it, I'm always here," the Monegasque stated as his final words, stepping away from the marble sink top and towards the exit, "Cya at the table, if you still feel like eating."

The Aussie nodded his head as a salutation, still not looking him in the eye.

While he still didn't feel comfortable telling Charles, it was nice to know someone he could count on .

It was nice to know someone else who cared about him.

[xxstraykidsaikoxx]

Relationship W/ Hyunjin

ᰔThis one is kinda a long one since im a sucker for the romance genre so i apologize in advance if most of this is too much! 😅

WHEN THEY STARTED DATING: April 23, 2020

RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC: Rivals-to-Lovers

AGE DIFFERENCE: 2 Years

ZSIGN COMPATIBILITY: Aries & Pieces

HOW THEY MET:

After Aiko got accepted into the survival program, Chan introduced her to the members and most of them hit off. Most of the members felt a little off having a girl, especially one as young as Aiko, apart of their group. These members included Hyunjin. The first thing he said to her face when she walked in the room was, "Who's this girl?" obviously Ai was put off and that was when their rivalry started.

HOW THEY CAUGHT FEELINGS:

HYUNJIN: Hyun initially caught feelings after spending some more time with and around Aiko and realized how endearing and genuine she is. He wanted someone who would sympathize with him, someone who would share his burdens and pains with him, and Aiko had checked off those boxes without fail. He at first thought his feelings were just going to last a day or two but no, his feelings soon grew into a strong love for Aiko, he just wasn't sure when was the right time to admit it.

AIKO: For Ai, it was love at first sight. She thought he was gorgeous but as soon as he opened his mouth she wasn't impressed. But with her too, after spending more time with Hyunjin she found herself getting more and more fond of him. Although she was under the impression that he didn't like her, which caused her to push her feelings for him down and away so she wouldn't loose focus on her current projects.

HOW/WHEN THEY CONFESSED:

It was like something straight out of a Kdrama. It was a stormy day in April when it happened. The two had gotten into a small argument after Hyun asked/demanded they talk about their feelings and Aiko being raised in an emotionally unavailable household, she's not as receptive/willing to openly talk about how or what she's feeling. After Hyun kept insisting they talk about their feelings Aiko got overwhelmed and stormed out into the rain with Hyun following her. Long story short they confessed their love for each other and had their first kiss in the rain and lived happily ever after.

DATING IN SECRET:

A week after they started dating they had a long discussion on how to proceed with their form relationship. Both had agreed to at least tell Chan since he was their leader and unsurprisingly Channie was happy for them and helped them formate a plan since at the time in 2020, they were still under a dating ban (JYP has a 4 or 3 year dating ban I believe). The other members were also informed and all were accepting and since then, Hyun and Ai have been inseparable. Soon though, STAYs had noticed how close they've gotten, which was out of the normal because of their for mentioned rivalry and how much they seemed to dislike each other, which created the ship 'AiHyun'.

HARDSHIPS:

Despite their fairytale like relationship, it's not without its problems, but luckily they have the ability to talk it out sometimes. The small arguments they have are usually started when someone genuinely messes up or when the other's health and safety is being put at risk. Aiko never likes going to bed angry at each other, so she works hard to resolve the issue as soon as possible. Outside of small arguments, both of them being idols brings in a whole another world of problems. One of those being Hyun's unfortunate hiatus. This was the longest they'd been apart from each other practically since they debuted together. (I'll go more into this in a future post).

TEXTS TOGETHER:

ᰔ honestly i may make a part two of some sorts since there's more layers to their relationship but this is already as long as it is so, lemme know if this is really in need of a part two and if so what to include in it!

MASTERLIST

[twisted-tales-of-all]

Summary: anon request- ‘73 & 75 with Dom Shownu!! thanks in advance 💕’

73 - "I wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it." || 75 - "You know, you look real pretty when you cry."

Pairing: Shownu x afab!reader Genres/tropes: non-idol!AU, coworker!AU, office!AU, boss and secretary!AU, smut, drabble Word Count: 633 Warnings: exhibitionism, office sex, clothed sex, unprotected sex, rebound, cursing once or twice, degradation (of a third party), cuckolding (kinda?), HR clearly doesn’t exist with the way Shownu speaks

Despite the shitshow that happened last night, you make it to work on time and properly dressed. You make your way straight to your boss's office to ask for your tasks for the day. Unable to keep your normally cheery persona, he notices and asks whether you're alright.

Releasing a deep sigh, you confess, "Last night wasn't fun. I'm sorry for letting it affect my attitude at work, sir."

"Do not apologize. Life happens. If you don't mind me asking, what happened last night?"

Shocked that he's taking an interest in your personal life, you quickly explain that your now ex-boyfriend blew up at you and left you crying on the side of the road. You can see his agitation through his white knuckles and clearly visible neck veins, so you try not to mention that the man you're talking about is a coworker, but it seems he already knows.

"And he has the gall to prance in here happily like nothing happened? How dare he treat you this way."

Something about the care in his words makes you release the tears you've been fighting all morning. He nonchalantly passes you the tissue box and waits silently for you to finish crying before speaking again.

"You know, you look real pretty when you cry. Although I never want your tears to fall from heartbreak like this, I find it fascinating that you remain gorgeous despite being in such a vulnerable state."

Dissecting his words, you begin to wonder whether Shownu has thought of you outside of the innocent idea of coworkers. Your mind connects so many dots that may or may not actually mean anything - the proximity of your ex's desk to Shownu's office, your promotion from intern directly to his personal secretary, the number of tasks he gives that keeps you in his sight.

Without thinking, you blurt out, "Sir, do you like me?"

Caught off guard, he stands up and begins pacing the room. Looking out the window and seeing your ex-boyfriend sitting there, however, gives him the resolve to answer.

"Yes. I have for a while. Sometimes, I want you so bad it hurts. There are times where I've had to leave because my thoughts for you grew inappropriate for work." Without removing his glare from the man on the opposite side of the glass, he admits to everything.

Your curiosity getting the better of you, you question, "Like what?"

He turns around to look you directly in the eye as he answers, "I wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it. I want to show that idiot out there what he lost."

Looking out at the crew, you find most of the cubicles empty, with everyone out for morning meetings except for your ex. Eager to repay the pain he gave you, you smirk and ask whether your boss is telling the truth. After confirming with him, you take a step forward, take his hand in yours, and tell him to prove it quickly, before the meetings end. Without hesitation, he pulls your face to his and relishes in the taste of your lips. Turning you both around so your back hits the glass, he devours you, victoriously giving you an exhilarating session of rough, almost fully-clothed sex, right behind your oblivious ex-boyfriend, making it all the better for the both of you.

As his thick dick makes you cum, you fail to hold back your moans. With a smirk, Shownu looks at your ex and finds him wide-eyed at the situation, so he keeps eye contact as he pounds into you until he finishes.

Filling you with his warm cum, he mocks your ex, "I bet I'm much better than that asshole anyway. I doubt you screamed like that for him."

[athletearrhythmia]

Two dilated ventricles

(Note: this is a more dark cardio post. Everything written was approved before posting, if the tone seems kinda mean it's not, I know the other subject well)

(Top image I'm on the right, bottom on the left)

Xykolich is one of the best cardiophile creators around right now, I'm sure you've seen videos of his remarkable heart. He has advanced dilated cardiomyopathy and recently gave me images of his mri study to compare to my own dilated ventricles.

His left ventricle is a whopping 80mm across, a full centimeter over my extremely large left ventricle and nearly twice the size of an average person's. However while my heart is positively adapted to exercise, his heart is scarred and inefficient. You can see a ring of scar tissue in his short axis image representing the dead portion of his heart that can't contract, which is what caused his heart to balloon as it panicked to compensate.

We don't have video, but this contrast in our hearts really flourishes in exercise. We both have low ejection fractions at rest because our hearts are so large a small percentage still amounts to large stroke volume. (Although his disease is advanced enough that his stroke volume is getting too low.) If we were to exercise though, the scarring prevents his damaged heart from contracting much harder than it can at rest. Even in light exercise then, his heart rate will skyrocket before decompensating and going totally out of rhythm as his heart fails. You've seen this in some of his videos. My heart by comparison will expand and contract harder as exercise intensity increases, allowing my heart to pump gallons and gallons of blood as its output increases beyond standard limits.

His right ventricle is also normal in size but looks small because his left ventricle is so large. You can really see here just how much cardio has enlarged my right ventricle. The biventricular enlargement reemphasizes athlete's heart syndrome as it represents improved function of my right ventricle to support the enhanced left. In fact my right ventricle clocks in at 56mm and 7-9mm thick walls. For context, that is the size of a well trained amateur's *left ventricle*; my heart is so enlarged that supporting my left ventricle requires the output of most athletes' entire heart. His right ventricle is not up to the task. Even if his left wasn't damaged and could beat well, the rv isn't big enough to fill that massive heart. His heart is doomed to fail.

I love that our hearts are opposite ends of the cardio spectrum. We are both genetic flukes (DCM is usually genetic, the extent of my enlargement can only be genetic). We have both extensively pushed our hearts in their natural directions, mine by constantly trying to improve its function and grow it, him by engaging in dark play. And we are both extremely "advanced", with his heart essentially a non functional balloon and mine 99th percentile among Olympic athletes. What's so cool is on a still image, our hearts are still pretty similar looking. Certainly explains why some cardiologists look at my heart with concern. I should show them his.

[all-pacas]

Do you think chase actually is capable of having a healthy romantic relationship (pre or post cameron)? Any time he wants a romantic relationship, it's always in the most ridiculous circumstances (a nun, a mentally fucked up coworker). He only pursues women he knows won't work out.

I mean………kinda?

First of all, Chase has a running thing where he's a lil bit of a Romantic Idealist. He almost cancels his wedding because Cameron has "normal doubts" (that she stresses have no factor on her love or desire to marry him), because he thinks that's unreasonable. He meets a nun on a massive almost-died rebound, and falls in love. Cameron complains he has a naive view of love. Cameron!!

I'd also argue that, as much as we love to make fun of our girl, I don't know if Chase saw her as mentally fucked up. He knows she's struggling with her dead husband, but on the whole the two get along well, they are friends, he thinks she's kind of annoying and that it's weird she has a crush on House, but he thinks she's a good person. A caring person. Is that a bit of naive romantic idealism? Probably! But Cameron doesn't admit to her insanity, and Chase has a long history (House) of accepting (House) insanity at face value (House). I really think he probably thought of her as his nice, hot, slightly annoying colleague. He respects her! She wants to sleep with him! Win-win!

Of course, because he's deeply fucked up and needy and has this idealized idea that Love Will Be Perfect And Fix Me, he does kind of set himself up to fail. To Chase's credit, he and Cameron do have a fairly healthy romantic relationship for a couple years there, and he actually seems to be a pretty good boyfriend! He's insecure of House, but besides that? They both work insane hours and spend all their free time together with no issues. He's able to be very patient with Cameron's dead husband issues.

Take the episode where they get engaged. Cameron asks Chase for carte blanche "I'm delaying our vacation and you can't ask why." He isn't thrilled, but he accepts. No questions asked. Trusts her. After two days have passed, he's getting worried, but when he confronts her it's not you lied to me or you're cheating; he tells her he needs to know what's going on now, he gives her a chance to explain. She refuses, and he digs up his spine to dump her. That's pretty good! Good job with boundaries and trusting your partner despite your insecurities!

I'm not trying to make it seem like Chase is the perfect boyfriend and their relationship problems are all Cameron's (although the writing being in her POV doesn't help that). We see, for example, that Chase avoids problems hard (the drawer situation, d i b a l a), that he holds things in and avoids and can't or won't rely on Cameron for support. But overall, he seems to manage to be a fairly Good Boyfriend. I think he could manage a Healthy Romantic Relationship!

What I'm not convinced about if Chase really wants one. I mean, his idealistic love at first sight habits aside. You're not wrong that he attaches to people (like the nun, if not Cameron) he knows he doesn't have a future with. We also never hear of him having any real relationships before or after his divorce: he dated the S&M banker, but that was "years ago," and that's it. We see him flirt and later sleep with women, and honestly every bit of it is portrayed as perfectly polite and nice and consensual — he's not a sleazy playboy, he seems to be on good terms with all his one night stands. He could very easily have a relationship if he wanted, but he… doesn't.

Which could be from any number of things. I don't think it's that Cameron broke him or anything. Chase is a bit standoffish, actually. He's the only one of the old team to never reach out to the new kids in S4; he doesn't like Masters at all, he doesn't like Park and is aloof around Adams. He doesn't open up to people, he's very private. We're used to seeing him in the first few seasons around people he knows and (minus maybe Foreman) likes, but unless he's specifically putting on a charming act to get laid (and we know from All In and the wedding it's very much a charming act), he's actually�� kind of reserved. We joke about Cameron picking him to sleep with, but it's probably not a coincidence that he fell for the one woman in his life he was sort of friends with, that he later tried to do the same with 13. Chase doesn't trust people, struggles to open up beyond schmoozing, doesn't have many friends or relationships outside work. I think he could have a healthy relationship, but I don't know if he'd look for one instead of hoping it fell into his lap.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

No one in legolas’s family has ever had even a slightly normal romantic relationship. And that’s due to 2 things.

The first of which is that they are physically incapable of being attracted to anyone unless they’ve tried to kill them first.

- Oropher and Cloudryad tried to kill each other for years before they started working together, which then lead to a relationship.

- Thranduil has never had more than one night stands, and even then there has been at least some kind of rivalry/hostility between them bc Thranduil has a type.

- Lasgen first met her wife, Oasis, when Lasgen and her squad were trying to intercept a trade between the Animal elves and the Sand elves, and Oasis, an Animal elf, ambushed her and had spear pointed at her throat, at which point Lasgen’s mind bluescreened. The only reason Lasgen didn’t die is bc Oasis’ squad mates called for a retreat.

- Lirion is not interested in anyone

- Kleoyia is like her dad, and is known to have horrible taste in partners. The few that turned into long term relationships always started with a spar/fight of some sort.

- Legolas was childhood friends with Sukanra and Iznake, and they learned to be warriors together, BUT Iznake betrayed the village at some point (he was eventually welcomed back, under many restrictions due to circumstances) and Sukanra was once enraged due to reasons (stick around if you want to find out) to the point that she attacked Legolas and their teacher.

- the running theory with Miriel is that, bc her relationship didn’t involve finwe trying to murder her at some point, this is why her relationship with him failed. It’s a joke, kinda.

So yeah, physically incapable of being attracted to someone unless they’ve tried to kill them first. It’s regarded as kind of a curse. Although, tbf, most silvans (especially the warriors) are attracted to strength and fighting skill more than looks.

The other reason none of their relationships even approach normal is bc only legolas’s seems even remotely conventional.

Oropher and cloudryad never had a wedding, though they are together, largely bc “weddings” weren’t a thing yet, and they just don’t care enough to rectify it.

Thranduil, Lirion, and Kleoyia aren’t married or interested in permanent relationships.

You all know what happened to Miriel.

Lasgen got married with Oasis in the middle of a battle bc “i don’t know if we’re going to survive this, and if i die i want to die married to the love of my life”. They never got a proper wedding ceremony after bc they felt that getting married in the middle of battle fit them pretty well actually.

And even Legolas, Sukanra, and Iznake proposed to each other during a battle. Thankfully, they did opt for a normal wedding ceremony afterwards, making legolas the only one to get properly married in immediate family. Of course, the reception was then crashed by assailants.

They’re not unlucky in love, bc they genuinely are happy with their relationships. But none of them expect anything remotely normal in regards to their love lives.

[dumbfinntales]

I recently completed a game that caught me completely by surprise. My Friendly Neighborhood. On the surface you might look at it and go “ugh another yucky mascot horror indie slop?” and trust me, when I initially saw the game I thought the same thing. I’ve fundamentally grown to dislike mascot horror, or kid friendly horror. So few games actually get it right, and most are really dumb. I’m not gonna name any so I don’t upset people, but imagine if you take Bob the builder. Okay, now he��s Frank the breaker and oh he has sharp teeth and red eyes. That’s how these types of games seem like to me.

So I kind of dismissed MFN when I first saw it. But lo and behold, a few days after the games release I saw a tweet on twitter of someone calling it a “survival horror” game and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I looked into it and by god, it really is one, and inspired by classic Resident Evil titles too. A fucking RE clone with muppets? I gave the game a chance and it blew me away. MFN is a genuinely fun and competent survival horror game with great atmosphere, fun combat and intriguing puzzles to solve.

The best part to me is that the game isn’t trying too hard to be scary. Sure it’s called survival “horror”, but it feels kinda light hearted and does parody of popular horror tropes like a bathtub with a body in it that you have to drain for an item. The puppets themselves are really charming and I enjoyed their demented rambles. My favorite line went something like “My friend recently really upset me. So you know what I did? I SHOVED them into the ground and STOMPED their face!” and they say all this in a very muppety voice which is hilarious. The point is that they’re not giving the puppets sharp teeth and demented lines like “I’ll eat your flesh” in order to be “scary”. The devs knew it would be impossible to make the muppets scary, so they leaned more on a parody.

Being inspired by classic RE games the game has a lot of familiar DNA like obscure puzzles, doors that require specific keys, backtracking, inventory management and even limited saves. Although on survival difficulty there was more than plenty of resources and save points so I never felt like I was running out of saves, or ammo or even health. The level design was also great and the world looped on itself in interesting ways and backtracking wasn’t as tedious and there was always some surprises waiting for you.

The game also seems plenty replayable and you can unlock different cheats by finding collectibles around the world. It isn’t overly long, which to me is a plus especially in a game that’s meant to be replayable, so I’ll definitely play through the game again on harder difficulties and maybe chase after some achievements.

But do I have anything negative to say? Well mainly nitpicks. The game could have benefited from more basic enemy types than just the puppets that chase after you and the small hand puppets. There’s also level specific “hazard” puppets, if you can call them that, but I dunno. It would have felt a little more interesting with some variation in what enemies you normally encounter. There’s also only two proper bosses in the game and the first one is way too easy as it goes down with just two grenades. I genuinely thought it had a second phase or I’d encounter it again, but nope. The last boss was alright, although really easy to avoid. At least it took a fight.

So yeah. How’s that for an indie surprise? There’s a lesson to be learned, never judge a book by its cover. But can you blame me for doubting? There’s way too many kiddie horror games trying to have deep lore and be all spooky and failing horribly. But MFN is a genuine gem, if you enjoy classic survival horror games do give it a try!

[trapny]

So I'm gonna be writing a series of posts about how the trauma of different characters in adventure time can be seen in the way they interact with the story.

There are definitely spoilers ahead for adventure time, adventure time distant lands, and Fionna and Cake.

So if you want to, go watch those first. And if you don't want to, then do it anyway because they kick ass.

I'm gonna start with Finn and Fern, since they have the same trauma.

Finn's mental state is heavily affected by the fact that so many people rely on him. It's the child hero trope. Especially with how he puts bubblegum on a pedestal for most of the series. And when he fails or he can't do something, he's typically devastated about it.

This might stem from the fact that Joshua and Margaret weren't the best parents. Joshua, as seen first in the episode "Dad's Dungeon", sees Jake in a higher regard than Finn. Maybe not as in more valuable, but he spends a lot of time falling Finn a crybaby. It kinda makes sense that when Finn finally caught hold of a sense of importance and strength, he is decimated when that sense is cracked by failure.

But the way that Jake seems to have been consistently viewed as a stronger child than Finn also seems to have made Finn incredibly dependant on him. In earlier seasons when Jake disappeared or was seemingly killed, Finn would almost go into a catatonic state. Like when he was kidnapped by a demon and Finn seemed to go into shock of some kind.

This also intertwines with Finn's negative hero complex. When Jake is injured, Finn sees it as his own fault that he wasn't able to stop whatever caused Jake harm.

In the tenth season though, we're shown another side of this. When Jake's alien dad takes him into space, he leaves the brb note.

Jake is gone for five entire weeks. And Finn doesn't worry at all about it.

Jake is capable. He can handle himself. Better than Finn.

At least, that's probably what Finn thought. When the thought that Jake might be in trouble is brought up by Jermaine, Finn immediately rushes to Magic Man's house and uses the mars teleporter because it's the fastest way he can think of to get into space.

As well as that, Finn meets his bio dad so many times, and every time he seems to just be hoping that his dad will somehow be a good person this time. You can see this hope dwindle over time as Finn starts to resent his father. He called him "dad" a couple of times, but eventually he just starts calling him Martin.

(Martin also has some issues, but that's for a different post.)

Fern also gives us an entirely different view on how Finn's trauma affects him.

Fern has a slightly different personality from Finn, due to the effect of the grass spirit parasite thing. Not only that, but Fern also has a heavy inferiority complex because rather than seeing himself as being the same as Finn, he sees himself as being lesser.

Fern seems to try to ignore this completely. He also tends more towards violence because of the nature spirit, while Finn usually tries to find a peaceful, or at least a low mortality solution to situations.

Before the events of Elements, Fern already had an inferiority complex, although he was trying his best to keep it under control. He already went through several phases of depression, like when he just laid on top of the treehouse for several days, trying to cope with his perceived reality that he wasn't needed because he was somehow lesser than Finn.

When LSP turns the world back to normal at the end of elements, Fern is incredibly upset about how hard he failed, despite the fact that he literally could not have fixed the situation on his own.

(the events of elements also helped Finn get over his inferiority/hero complex somewhat, because it forced him to learn that saving absolutely everyone you care about immediately isn't possible. When he loses Jake to the slime, Finn goes catatonic and almost lets himself be absorbed. LSP basically had to drag him away, because Finn wanted to go back and somehow save Jake, despite there being no feasible way to do that. This is probably why it took him so long to do anything when Jake disappeared for over a month.)

It's no wonder that one of the first things Fern tried to do after Elements was trap Finn forever and steal his identity so he could feel needed and important. There was probably nothing Finn could've done to survive the fight with Fern other than "killing" him, but it still messed Finn up.

Finn perceived the event as him failing to save Fern, despite the fact that Fern was literally trying to kill him. Finn got over this, of course, but probably not entirely.

Fern so readily joined Gumbald because with Gumbald, he could be important. He could be better than Finn.

When Finn helped Fern conquer the grass spirit, it probably alleviated some baggage, but Finn was still carrying around a lot of guilt and trauma. Not to mention that when Finn realized he messed up by not trying to find Jake for five weeks, it definitely didn't help his dependence on Jake.

In the events of Fionna and cake, we see Finn after Jake died. Finn is still very obsessed with helping people, jumping at the opportunity to take Simon on a dangerous adventure. He also has Jake tattooed across his chest. Which is kinda sweet, but also kind of a symbol of how dependent he was.

The third episode of distant lands starts with a sort of dream from Finn, where he and Jake went on a "classic adventure". During the adventure, Finn is constantly trying to both help and kill everyone. Finn will switch from trying to slaughter enemies, to immediately trying to help them when they ask for it. It was kinda shown in Fionna and cake, but the dream definitely shows that Finn is a lot more willing and ready to kill than he was before.

Finn is excited to finally be dead so he can see Jake again. But when he hears that Jake is somewhere completely different, Finn is literally ready to tear the afterlife apart to find him.

When new death gains access to the fiftieth dead world, Finn immediately blames himself for "helping" new death destroy the afterlife, despite the fact that Finn the entire time was trying to work against new death.

Jake definitely has some issues, but not in the same way as Finn. They both care about each other a lot. But when they're both fighting each other to try to be the one to stop death and become him, Jake is doing it because he cares about Finn. Finn is doing it not only because he cares about Jake, but also because he feels he needs to always be the hero. He feels like he has to be the one to always make the sacrifice.

By the end of the episode, when Finn goes to be reborn, he's finally gotten over his dependence on jake. This is shown by him being willing to step through the portal alone.

When Jake decides to run in after him, it's a twist that manages to not undercut any of Finn's development. It's definitely a twist, but it slots right into place on another of the major elements of adventure time, which is Finn and Jake's bond.

When Jake goes with Finn to be reborn, despite Jake having already reached nirvana, it's not because Finn needs Jake, or because Jake needs Finn. It's because they're brothers. They're best friends. Finn goes because he's finally okay with being without Jake, and Jake goes because even though he doesn't need to be with Finn, he wants to.

So that's why that episode gave me legitimate chills.

[deusvervewrites]

Given what we know about the Entrance Exam and that it includes both a Written and a Practical(depending on course), and what ideas we can get from the Finals, we may get an idea on how some pass the Entrance Exam and how others failed.

Given that UA is an elite school that has multiple courses, I would say that the average student applying should be, at a minimum, be able to do the General Studies Course Entrance Exam(Most likely Written only), even if the other courses' General classes(in the school year, not the Entrance Exam) are easier to adjust for the actual purpose of those courses(Heroics, Support, Management). In return, the students must proves their knowledge in the basics in the Entrance Exam to even be accepted on the next stages and this applies for all courses. If a non-Gen Ed student proves that they are incompetent in the written exam, in UA's terms, it may not be worth it at all to accept them as such a student requires a lot more work in the fundamentals to even be barely passing the General courses. As a result, those students would struggle in the Heroics/Management/Support courses when they're not doing practical stuff, like knowing the laws of Heroics and what is legal or not for the 3 aforementioned courses.

On the practicals, I can see that even the best Heroics student failing because they lacked the basic idea for the theoreticals and it makes them look like a low-level mook(UA is trying to reach a standard) and I would guess that the lowest score of the accepted Heroic students would either be in the 20s to 30s. Both the Heroics student and the Support student would need to know some basic laws and fundamentals to legally do the stuff they want to do. A Management student would fail because of citations and needing to know a lot of basics to communicate to their audience.

There might be an exception, but I think this requires extreme circumstances that only exist in fan fiction since it likely requires Nezu, some approval with the teachers, the new student having some sort of significant backing(though I would believe such a student would be able to pass the exam normally), and some sort of situation that enables them to be at UA. The only one that I can think Fear No Evil by katydid and that's because Izuku kinda proved himself, got a lot of approvals, had AM helping out, and could pass the exam had he been there.

Although if one really wants to, one could say the Hero Society is so corruptive, that it permeates the culture to the point that they lower the written score thresholds for the Heroics students to become Heroes(regardless of school). After all, only UA(or insert any Heroics school) know what score the student got on both exams(outside of top 10 Heroics) they could "fix" the score if the student reaches a certain grade if they do extremely well on the Practical.

It's very true that the corruption of Hero Society means that it would be easy enough for students who show promise in the practical exam to be allowed to pass even after a poor showing in the written exams, we can infer some things about the UA curriculum from the few times we see it appear

In chapter 167, Ectoplasm is having the class work on Definite Integrals, a part of calculus. This chapter takes place early in the Overhaul arc, meaning this is the start of their second term. As such it can be assumed that the classes at UA are highly advanced--by American standards, this is a subject that might be taught in their third year, not their first.

As such, it seems fair to say that the exam results aren't doctored because the students would be unable to keep up with the actual pace of the classwork.

[galaxystiel]

put up your hands (say i don’t wanna be in love) 

Written for @sterekweekly for the prompt ‘midnight’.

Summary: Stiles had even made dessert, a (slightly lopsided) coconut rum cake, knowing Derek had a sweet tooth he would never admit to. A little more effort than Stiles would normally go to, but he’d figured if he couldn’t push the boat out for their anniversary, then when could he? Teen | 2.3k

[Read on AO3]

--

Stiles counted along with the clock, the second hand ticking ever closer to twelve. Five, four, three, two…

Midnight.

Dinner had gone cold hours ago, the remains of his mom’s lasagna a congealed mess in the dish at the centre of their table. Small, battery-operated tea lights that were barely aglow now. Pinpricks of light, like little fireflies surrounding a failed disaster of a dinner date. While Derek had never said anything about a disdain for open flames indoors, Stiles had thought it was better safe than sorry, and this was a nice compromise. Romantic atmosphere without the fire hazard or a mess of molten wax.

He’d even made dessert, a (slightly lopsided) coconut rum cake, knowing Derek had a sweet tooth he would never admit to. A little more effort than Stiles would normally go to, but he’d figured if he couldn’t push the boat out for their anniversary, then when could he?

But Derek hadn’t come home at all.

Stiles finally dragged his eyes away from the clock and let his shoulders slump. He wasn’t angry. It wasn’t fair to blame Derek for being busy at work. It’s not like Stiles had told him that he was going to try and do something special. Although Derek had promised he’d be home for dinner.

It wasn’t a lie, Stiles told himself. Derek had obviously intended to come home on time. Something must have just come up. Something so clearly important that meant he couldn’t even call. Right? Right.

He wasn’t angry. He was just tired and a little bit humiliated. Clearly, he’d put a little more—not value, that wasn’t the right word, he knew Derek valued him—sentiment, yeah, behind their anniversary than was reciprocated. Which was, not fine, not even expected but it was… yeah. It was what it was.

Something ached deep in Stiles’ chest and the chair scraped back against the floor as he scooped up all of the tea lights in hands that were totally not shaking, fingers that were absolutely, completely steady as he found their off switches. He tossed them in the trash can and then, upon thinking about Derek potentially finding them, crumpled a few paper towels and stuffed them on top.

Dessert was still in the fridge and the lasagna joined it, carefully wrapped in foil. No point in letting it go to waste, maybe Derek could take it to the station tomorrow and share it with the Sheriff. It wasn’t the healthiest of meals, but hey, his dad was allowed a cheat day every now and then, particularly when his son was suffering from a broken heart.

“Okay, enough,” Stiles muttered, waggling his fingers in front of his face. Broken heart, seriously? “You’re being pathetic, Stiles. It’s just freakin’ dinner. Derek loves you the other three hundred sixty four days of the year. There shouldn’t be anything important about this one.”

Except, there kinda was? This marked a year to the day they’d first admitted how great they could be together, and put their absolute trust in each other as their relationship had taken the next step. Stiles had just wanted to commemorate that. Even just seeing Derek for more than the ten minutes they’d overlapped at breakfast, before Derek’s shift started. He refused to feel bad that he wanted a little more than that, just for today.

Weariness took over, and Stiles abandoned his cleaning up of the kitchen in favour of making his way to the bed he and Derek had shared for six months now. He stopped abruptly in the doorway and swayed, looking at the rumpled sheets and feeling his lip quiver. Suddenly, the thought of spending the night in their bed alone seemed like the most awful thing he could imagine. A shaky exhale left his lips, and then Stiles turned abruptly on his heel, bounding back down the stairs and snatching his keys from the sea glass bowl near the front door.

Roscoe seemed to know he wasn’t in the mood for her games tonight, engine roaring to life at the simple flick of his wrist. He drove, trying to force the buzzing thoughts in his head to quieten down as he followed the trail of street lamps. Even under their glow, the world looked awash with grey. Colourless, lifeless, numb.

Stiles kind of knew the feeling.

He didn’t really have a destination in mind, but when he found himself idling outside of his childhood home, he supposed he’d probably known where he was heading the whole time. The sight of the cruiser was both welcome and unwelcome, and Stiles rested his head against the steering wheel, taking a deep breath.

When he let himself in with a key he barely used anymore, he was greeted with the sight of his dad halfway out of the living room, summoned by the sound of the door.

“Stiles? It’s almost one in the morning, what the hell are you doing here?”

��Dad,” Stiles choked, and then he was falling forward into strong arms, and tears were stinging his eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall, he wouldn’t cry. Not over this. He inhaled, long fingers grasping the back of his dad’s shirt, holding him tightly.

Distantly, Stiles registered that if his dad was still in uniform, he couldn’t have been home long. His theory had been right. Something had cropped up on duty that kept both his dad and Derek later than planned. Usually, he’d be bugging one of them to find out what happened, but right now Stiles didn’t care. Because he realized that if his dad was home, Derek was probably on his way too, and would discover Stiles’ absence at any moment.

“Can I just stay here tonight? Please?” He hated how soft and pleading his voice came out. Hated that he couldn’t handle this like an adult and face his problems head on.

But his dad held him just that little bit tighter and Stiles could have wept with relief.

“Of course you can, son, you never have to ask. Didn’t take your key, did I? The bed’s always made up for you.” He pulled back and his face went through three different expressions of reluctance before he asked, “You break up with Derek?”

Stiles’ breath caught in his throat, and the words came out thickly. “No.” He shook his head. “No, of course not. I just—can we not do this now, dad? Can’t it be enough that I’m mad at him right now and I want to stay here tonight?”

“Of course it can. Go on, get some sleep, kid.”

Stiles mumbled something that was both thanks and a goodnight and trudged his way up the stairs. The sheets didn’t smell right, now he’d gotten used to the unscented fabric softener that Derek preferred, and they were a little musty from disuse. That, together with the rampant emotions thrumming in every part of his chest, suggested that sleep would be a long time coming.

But almost as soon as Stiles closed his eyes, the world faded to nothing.

 * * * 

He wasn’t sure what woke him up.

It was still dark, so he hadn’t been asleep long. There was no clock by his bedside anymore, a reminder that this familiar bed wasn’t where he should be waking up.

His eyes flicked to the window out of habit, and he watched as it began to close, slowly and silently. Stiles squinted blearily into the darkness, but he couldn’t make out anything more than a shadow outside his window. But that was enough.

“Derek,” he whispered. The window stopped moving, little more than three inches between the sash and the sill. The silence was deafening, and for a moment Stiles held his breath, wondering if a reply would come at all.

“I was just making sure you were here.” Derek’s voice was quiet, and Stiles couldn’t even convince himself that it was out of consideration for the late hour. Even beyond that, he could hear the misery in every syllable. “You weren’t supposed to wake up. I know you don’t want to see me right now, but I—I just needed to know you were somewhere safe.”

Stiles sat up, wrapped the top blanket around himself and shuffled over to the window. He didn’t open it, just sat on the floor, his cheek pressed to the jamb. He could feel the light presence of air drifting through the gap. It wasn’t particularly cold, but Stiles shivered anyway.

“I should have left a note,” he said eventually. “It wasn’t my intention to make you worry.”

The reply that came was filled with bitterness and self-loathing. “I could say the same. I should have called. I should have been home,” Derek corrected himself. “I saw—I found—I’m sorry.”

The words didn’t heal the wounds the evening had left deep within Stiles’ chest, but they were a stepping stone. This was Derek reaching out, and now it was up to Stiles to meet him halfway. He reached up, fingers scrabbling as he pushed the window upwards, opening it fully. His motions were far less quiet than Derek’s, but he didn’t care.

He shuffled back as one leg stepped inside the window, followed by another, and then Derek’s head ducked through. His face was drawn, visible even when half-shrouded in shadow. There was tension in every line of his body and he made no move to enter the room further, just hovered by the window as if he would be made to leave at any moment.

And hell if that didn’t sweep the air from Stiles’ lungs. After all this time, Derek should never be unsure of his welcome. Not with him.

His fingers curled into the knee of Derek’s grey sweatpants and he tugged lightly enough to make his point clear. He acquiesced instantly, legs folding beneath him as they both settled on the floor. Even though Derek didn’t need it, Stiles loosened his grip on the blanket and haphazardly threw a corner around Derek’s shoulders.

“I didn’t forget.” When Stiles looked nonplussed, Derek clarified, “The date. I know you think I did, but you’re wrong. There’s a card in the Camaro. It has a stupid pun on it. I thought it would make you laugh.”

It probably would have. Stiles would have been delighted at Derek’s attempt at humour. He would have probably had it framed, to hang in their bedroom for years to come.

“That helps,” Stiles admitted. “But it doesn’t make everything better. I felt, no, I feel like an idiot for caring so much about this. And it’s ridiculous because I knew who you were when we got together. I didn’t expect rose petals and candles and slow dancing. I just wanted to see you.”

Silence. Stiles knew he’d somehow said the wrong thing because he could feel the sadness rolling off Derek in waves.

“What did I say?”

“Nothing.”

Stiles’ hand flew out and he flicked on the lamp. When his eyes recovered from the sudden flare of brightness, he squinted at Derek. “Are you actually pouting right now?”

“No.” Derek raised his eyes to the ceiling petulantly, pursing his lips.

Stiles barked out a laugh and poked Derek in the bicep. “You are totally pouting. What did I say? Tell me. You know I won’t quit until you do.”

“I could do all of that if that’s what you wanted,” Derek ground out with no small amount of reluctance. “It doesn’t make me feel good when you say you don’t expect me to do the whole romance thing.”

“You literally just called it ‘the whole romance thing’, dude, that doesn’t instil hope. And given that I can’t even get you to show up for dinner when you agreed to it, why would I hold my breath for wooing?”

Derek’s eyes flashed blue, his hands curling into fists as he turned his guilt-ridden face away. Stiles closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. And I didn’t mean it, really I didn’t. I’m just lashing out because I’m embarrassed. You know you romanced the hell out of me when we started dating. That wasn’t what I meant. I was trying to express that I didn’t expect our anniversary to be a huge deal in general. I just wanted to acknowledge that it happened, because it was the day the world gave me you.”

Derek swallowed, and Stiles watched as the tension unfurled from his body. He idly picked at a stray string at the hem of his sweatpants, before clumsy fingers reached out and curled over Stiles’. A peace offering, a gesture of forgiveness and a request for forgiveness of his own at the same time.

Stiles threaded their fingers together and held on tightly.

“You already had me,” Derek said. He rubbed his thumb over Stiles’ knuckles. “Fate or the universe or anything else had no part in it. I do like knowing that’s how you see it, though.”

“How do you see it?”

“I remember it as the day I realized that you were going to keep fighting at my side like you belonged there, and it first occurred to me that you did.”

The threat of tears stung Stiles’ eyes, and he raised their joined hands together to lightly brush his lips over the back of Derek’s hand.

“I love you.”

“Yes,” Derek said, then cautiously added, “Does that mean you’ll come home?”

Stiles nodded, and pressed his forehead to Derek’s shoulder, basking in the warmth. “I was always coming home.” He cast a look over his shoulder at his childhood bed and sighed. “I’m not waking my dad up after his late night. You’ll have to squeeze in beside me and suffer in a single bed for one night.”

The smile that spread over Derek’s face was fond, genuine. Its sudden appearance made the ache in Stiles’ chest finally settle, even as his heart betrayed him and embarrassingly skipped a beat. He flushed, not even needing to look at Derek to know he’d heard it and the smile was widening into a dumb grin.

“Stupid werewolf hearing,” Stiles huffed and slid back into his bed, making space for Derek to join him. “Get in the bed before I change my mind. And you’re buying me a nice dinner tomorrow. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about my card, I want my dumb punny card, Derek.”

Derek kicked off his shoes, sliding under the covers and wrapping his arms around Stiles. Stiles wriggled closer, sighing as Derek pressed a gentle kiss to his neck, and then nuzzled the same spot sweetly.

“Anything you want,” he promised.

If you liked it, please consider leaving me a comment or kudos on AO3, or reblogging here!

[eternalpassions]

I watched this movie on Netflix called The Son. It doesn’t have very good reviews for its mental health depiction but I think the potential was there. I think the depiction of depression and suicide ideation was good. Although it’s a story between a father and son, I found a lot of it kind of relating to Kaname and his depression

Now keep in mind, I have no idea if Hino really planned to depict Kaname as mentally I’ll and suicidal. Japan as far as I know isn’t developed in its knowledge of mental health and depression see by how they have one of the highest suicide rates in the world. (As far as I remember) Then again the manga does mention the word suicide so Hino does have some awareness of what it is and how characters within her story committed suicide (in her case the purebloods)

My guess is she has knowledge of what suicide is and uses it in her story but her knowledge of depression isn’t that deep and her depiction of Kaname’s declining mental state was accidental on her part.

What the movie helped me understand and kind of help me understand Kaname more is depression can make you feel so hopeless and bleak it can even be hard to describe with your loved ones what you feel. You can appear to be doing well on the outside but really you’re heading towards your demise on the inside. In the movie there’s hints to reasons why the son is depressed but we don’t really know what he’s thinking which is shown especially at the end of the movie. In Kaname’s case we see signs he’s gloomy but we or (I) didn’t know it was that bad until the end. I wanted answers and I know other people did too but in the end depression really is a powerful illness where as the movie says “love is not enough to fix it” People need psychiatric treatment because it’s not in the hands of normal people anymore. This is where I really think Hino has little knowledge of depression since there seems to be no psychiatrists in vk world and her cure for Kaname was so wipe his memories essentially have him run from his trauma :/

So I guess if we want to be positive about vk or find positives about the ending is that she accidentally portrayed depression very realistically because love is not always enough to save someone. Despite the other shippers of this fandom using the fact their fave was saved through the love of a woman, that’s kinda corny and unrealistic. Hino failed on finding a realistic solution to his bad ending tho because irl most of us can’t just get a new life with our memories wiped lmao

[bongwooder]

idk I guess I could make an official post about it since I've been basically regressing to 12 year old me anyways and she LOVED to overshare on this godforsaken website

click more for ramblings if ur curious! definitely interested in hearing others perspectives since I am very socially isolated rn compared to most people I guess

ever since my ADHD diagnosis and possible autism diagnosis I've just been thinking a LOT about my life including my gender and sexuality. like, ever since my parent's divorce in 2022 I've been unravelling a lot of trauma I didn't even know I had, including how my roommate has helped me realize truly how emotionally neglected I was a child. it is NOT normal for a child to be online essentially 24/7 from ages 8-18. I think I really did some serious damage because my parents were too fucked to bother to check on me and make sure I like... went outside. had friends. showered. basic hygiene etc etc etc and of course I didn't know any better because uuuhhh children need to be TAUGHT things not just yelled at to do it or made fun of for their unknown disability. and I've been going through points of time where I'm MAD. like, PISSED. that my parents let me do that to myself. a little insecure neurodivergent girl searching, yearning, begging for ANYTHING to explain her inability to cope with reality and sensory overload, to socialize and make friends at school, to feel like her life had meaning and that what was not known at the time to be symptoms of her disability weren't just personal failures

so, of course, I feel like the moment I realized I may have a group that would actually accept me as I was, I latched onto it. and that was my beginning identifying as transgender. I've said this before to irl friends, but my thoughts at the time were "well I'm a completely well adjusted intelligent person [child], but I can't seem to get along with my female peers, so I must be a male actually!" but then like... idk why I always failed to realize the boys didn't like me either?? so it's not "girls don't like me because I'm too masculine and boys don't like me because I'm too feminine" it was actually just "no one likes me because I'm autistic"

and it's strange because I feel like the physical dysphoria felt VERY real, hating my chest and my genitals, but also like... I went through puberty kinda early and also bc I was fat I "had" to wear a bra VERY early. so I think I was resenting the sexualization of my body and coping with the fact that boys paid me 0 mind in any sort of dating context when that became relevant. So I think my dysphoria was actually more like dysmorphia?

and I think I only ever "hated pink and girly things" because I so desperately wanted attention from ANYONE, for SOMEONE to ask me what's wrong or why I thought that way, for someone to tell me it's okay to be a girl even though I'm fat and autistic. and it just never happened. and I grieve for that little girl who never felt like she could express herself in fear of what people would think bc she truly had no positive adult figures in her life. and I can't help but feel deep anger for the teachers around me who didn't realize just how deep the damage was, or if they did and told my parents and THEY chose to do nothing, I feel deep anger with them.

I thought maybe if I could just be a boy I didn't have to worry that much about being attractive to boys or being skinny or being pretty. then I could just be myself! and I think that did serve a purpose for its time.

I don't regret identifying as trans or any social transitioning I have already done. I love being Ollie, although I do wonder if another name may suit me better in these times. I know I'll always have an unconventional self expression but I just wonder what it would be like to be an independent adult woman because I've never been that, and I've never had adult women friends that have reached a level of platonic intimacy with me where I can discuss this and explore it with someone who has always lived as a woman! i yearn to decorate my body and dress myself in ways that reveal the the body I am proud to have carry me day by day no matter how large. I yearn to sink into softness and receive love, I don't want to fight for reciprocation. I don't want to be codependent but I just want to feel taken care of for once in my life instead of feeling like I'm crawling and clawing my way through life not knowing where the hell I'm going. I don't even know what womanhood/femininity MEANS but I want to try it! I think I'd enjoy it! do I have permission to try it? am I allowed to enjoy it? I hate that I need to be "brave" and "resilient" just to exist in my fucking body and brain. I resent the poisoned masses for resenting me but I know I know kindness and i know I am beautiful and I know I can provide happiness for others, I'm just also ready to be provided for too from a woman just as strong and beautiful and intelligent and kind and funny

I think I skated my point a little bit but even after saying all this, I don't know if I'll ever feel "cis." i think my life played out how it needed to for me to get here and now. my biggest fear is "coming out as cis" and having everyone who ever doubted my transness or invalidated me (including my own family) tell me "I told you it was a phase" because YEAH, MAYBE IT WAS. but at least I've been actively trying to listen to my body and brain to build the life I think will make me happiest in the context of my consciousness. and I just want to surround myself with people who trust me and know I'm smart and know this is something I think about deeply before projecting

all this to say I have a lot of work to do, and I'm excited to do it, cis or trans

[lampmanliveblogs]

And there we have our title, Thanks to Them.

Now, I already know the titles of the next two episodes and the secret message they spell out, so I won’t dwell on that. I don’t really have any predictions based on the title alone and I’ve already gone over some of my bigger predictions. For example, that the kids are going to discover some Titan’s blood in the Human Realm, Philip will pop up to cause trouble, and this will possibly lead to some flashbacks or expansion on his backstory.

I am ready to be wrong however, it wouldn’t be the first time. Being wrong is not a moral failing, although staying wrong might be considered one.

Camila: ”I never expected to be a mother of six.” My mom, mother of seven: ”Get on my level, scrub.”

I gotta agree with her that the old shack looks a lot nicer now that they’ve fixed it up though. It’s got everything a cool clubhouse needs; light strands, plants, a bean bag, somewhere for the club mascots to rest, a minifridge for snacks, a basketball hoop, plants, schematics for an interdimensional portal door. Normal things you find in a teenage clubhouse.

So the kids are learning Spanish from an app that for legal reasons is totally not Duolingo, not at all. It’s, uh… Bilingua. Original character, do not steal.

They’re struggling, which is understandable, learning a new language is very hard. Vee doesn’t have any problems though, because, as you know, basilisks have the gift of tongues which lets them speak any language they hear.

Oh, and it seems like I was on to something when I pointed out Flapjack was acting weird before. It’s because he is acting weird. Pecking at the floor, looking for something, and refusing to tell Hunter what it is. At the top of my head, I’d guess he’s looking for Philip. Maybe he can sense the remains of the dictator moving under the floorboards or something.

…or maybe it was this thing he sensed.

You know, I was just about to stop and point out how Amity’s plan was a Bad Idea, but then Amity went and literally tripped over a Plot Point before I hit pause.

So. What have we got here? Some magical doohickey left by Eda? A stolen artifact Philip left during a brief return to the Human Realm before he lost the portal door? The box with the bowl from the Engelsfors Trilogy?

”Fifteenth century China. Varnished woodcarving. A whole lot of magic too. Exquisite craftsmanship. But what you see is of course just the surface. The item inside is significantly older. From the time of the first Council.” 

Inside we find… some kind of map. I watched just a few seconds further, and Amity points out that the eye symbol kinda looks like the eye on the old portal door. And yea, I agree, though I would also like to point out that there is a door symbol right above it. So, you know, that’s a pretty big clue too.

There was a golden symbol with a bird on it on the box. The Gravesfield town symbol is a golden shield with a bird on it, though this one is different.

Next to the eye symbol is another diamond with what looks to me like an ear in it. And some squiggles which could be soundwaves? At the bottom of the page we find three more diamonds. Two small ones and one big, mirroring the top of the page. One of the small diamonds has a ribbon in it. The other small diamond has… I dunno, it kinda looks like one of those cartoon fight clouds Donald Duck would find himself in. The large diamond at the bottom has a hand with what looks like a drop of something. 

…yeah, I’ve no idea what most of this means. the best I have is that the hand at the bottom with the drop is supposed to represent either a Titan bleeding or someone trying to get the Titan’s blood.

The middle of the document makes a bit more sense to me, it’s clearly a map. It has the town with little houses and trees, a path to follow, and even an ”X marks the spot.” Solklart, as we say where I’m from. The one thing that’s a bit confusing is the roman arch in the middle of the map. Maybe that represents the building where the buried treasure chest can be found.

”FATe VS FRee Will”*

”The Plight of the Hero”

”’Foes vanquished, he trod the shores of his fatherland, family by his side, finally at peace.’ This epic ends with the homecoming of not just a man, but a hero.”

Laying it on a little thick, aren’t we? What is this, a kid’s sho-oh.

(*hey teach, why the heck did you write it like that??)

(also, I gotta say, this school goes hard with the halloween decorations)