#and also years later and they lost touch but they meet again and reconnect and it's bittersweet and also maybe they make that end a good end

[thevioletcaptain]

I know the ask is about ships but could you make a non ship one with Dean and Carlos from the Winchesters? I can't think of an exact thing for Dean to say, but the first sentence can be what Dean would say for their first meeting. Thank you if you can (*^‿^*)

"I like your hair," Dean says, staring up from where he's clinging to the bottom of Mary's winter coat, and Carlos grins wide when he adds, with all the breathless gravity of a four year old eager to impress their opinions upon a new friend; "It's swooshy and it's pretty like Mommy's hair, and your-- your beads are pretty and shiny and shiny is my favorite color."

"Swooshy and pretty and shiny is exactly what I was going for, so thank you, little buddy."

Even with almost six years between now and the last time he'd seen Mary, Carlos is relieved to find that they still have a good sense of one-another -- can still communicate silently, swiftly, like they used to when it was life or death. He meets her eye, and her face softens, and understanding passes between them before he slides one of his lucky beaded bracelets -- the bloodstone one -- free.

Dean's eyes light up when he takes it.

When he smiles, he looks just like his mother.

[for this askbox game if anyone else wants to send me a prompt]

[everythingseasoning]

M’s Jujutsu Kaisen masterlist

// scroll for all characters

MINORS CAN INTERACT ONLY WITH fluff/SFW CONTENT, otherwise mdni with content labeled NSFW

Headcanons here :P :D // SMAU’s here

“Canon” one-shots, fics (w/o reader)*

Analysis Stuff (characters, duos)

JJK x reader below!

Satoru Gojo

Stay With Me, Satoru masterlist (long fic)

Reader is Suguru’s younger sister. Enemies to lovers, Slow burn. Story takes place at the START OF GETO’S VILLAIN ARC (Geto tries to kill you, his sister).

You resent Gojo. He replaced you as Suguru’s best friend once Suguru went off to Jujutsu High at the age of 14. You miss your brother, and you watched him grow distant and turn cold over the years. One day, over a decade later, Suguru comes back into your life. The summer in which your brother is back home— unfortunately bringing Gojo as well— but still, you have hopes that it’ll be a sweet reconnection, until the darkness crashes down upon you. Suguru and betrayal are two words you never would’ve imagined went together. Nor did the words Satoru and warmth seem like a match either, until you have to lean on your sworn enemy when all other hope is lost.

NSFW: Feral Satoru x Virgin Reader (smut MDNI)

NSFW Drabble/*Fic Idea: Infinity backfired (smut, MDNI)

…more to come

Suguru Geto

NSFW: Your Grace (fic, smut MDNI)

You would’ve never guessed that the university’s most coveted, notorious, tortured poet would ever fall for you, much less you for him. But just as sparks fly, you’re torn away and disappear for five years…

When you cross paths with Geto again all those years later, will it be like the invisible string knotted itself into a perfect bow, linking you two together, or will the same mistakes end your love for good?

…more to come

Choso Kamo

We’ve Met Before masterlist (multi-chapter fic)

…Little do you know that you and Choso were lovers in a past life. When you meet Choso, at a college party of all places, you can’t help but feel enamored. Unfortunately, murders and missing person cases have also been popping up around your college campus, disrupting the lifestyle of all those at Jujutsu University— and the latest case has been brewing closer than you’d think. Your lying, cheating ex Sukuna, is also running around freely, and trying to prevent any semblance of finding love in your life.

NSFW: Virgin Choso touches himself for the first time while thinking of you (smut MDNI)

NSFW Drabble: Riding Choso (smut, MDNI)

…more to come

Kento Nanami

…more to come

Yuta Okkotsu

…more to come

Shoko Ieiri

…more to come

Utahime Iori

…more to come

SFW: fluff/hcs/fics/one shots/angst/comfort below:

Yuji Itadori

…more to come

Megumi Fushiguro

…more to come

Toge Inumaki

…more to come

Itafushi

…more to come

Characters are of Gege Akutami’s work Jujutsu Kaisen. All ideas and writings here are my own. Do not plagiarize them.

© M, everythingseasoning on tumblr, 2022-2024

[dandelion-blues]

Ninjago One-shot

An Adult? (not really)

Now also on Ao3

Lloyd Garmadon didn’t notice at first that he wasn’t really aging. He didn’t really think much about it at first. After all, he was already so much older when the Tomorrow's Tea aged him up. Except his voice hardly even deepened. Then, 8 years later, when Lloyd was chronologically 16 but supposed to be in his twenties physically, his voice finally deepened, as evident by the ninja’s teasing.

Zane predicted that perhaps Tomorrow's tea worked differently on him and that perhaps Lloyd’s age was now aligned. After all, Zane is a nindroid and isn’t supposed to age like humans, and yet he did.

Except Lloyd discovered that he wasn’t even fully human. He was a part oni-dragon hybrid. It’s fine. Everything is fine. Lloyd had bigger things to deal with than his weird aging. After all, he had a father villain to defeat.

5 more years passed. The Overlord, or should Lloyd say the Crystal King, is finally defeated. Garmadon isn’t quite as evil anymore and is actually staying around. 

And now that they believe the Overlord is finally never returning, all the venom from the Great Devour that the Overlord orchestrated for Garmadon to have just left his system. 

Now Garmadon is just an oni-brand of evil and has purple eyes. They remind Lloyd a lot of the human version of his father, his dad, but apparently that was a lie too because it’s just shapeshifting since the oni-version is his dad’s natural form. But everything is fine. He got his dad back. Really, he’s just a little rough around the edges, and his memories still aren’t fully back, but it’s a process. Everything is fine.

Anyways. What else? Oh, and all the Ninjas are alive and together.

It’s been a long journey. Cole just had his 30th birthday, and after all the pestering from his fans about dating, he decided to get married to a triple-layer chocolate cake so they would finally back off. Because. He’s. Not. Interested. Honestly, Lloyd can relate. He thought he liked Brad, and then Harumi and Akita when he was younger, but it was actually just wanting to be friends with them (though Harumi long since lost her chance even if she joined their side in the end), and it’s really making him uncomfortable with how many people are asking about his dating life.

Moving on…

Zane and Pixal are running a school open to all types of people and beings to learn about all manner of things.

Kai and Skylar finally got engaged! Lloyd teased his big brother endlessly for that. It took them long enough!

Nya and Jay got married and are happily exploring ninjago for their honeymoon!

Of course all the ninja stay in touch and make sure to meet up at the monastery at least monthly if not more in case another realm ending disaster pops up, but everyone is enjoying the peace while it lasts, but still staying in shape and being vigilant. Not wanting to be caught off guard again.

And well, Lloyd’s the same staying at the monastery for now and trying to avoid the limelight and all his crazy fans. Lloyd’s also trying really hard to reconnect with Garmadon, but part of himself still flinches whenever he gets too close. Remembering cold red eyes, saying he has no son, and slamming him into a wall. His body breaking and blood pooling around him. And everything is cold and dark. And Lloyd feels so alone and scared. He was dying.

Uncle Wu is also staying with Lloyd and Garmadon and really trying to be a good brother, but centuries, if not millennia, of strained relations, and polar personalities and ideals, make it hard for them to bond over, well, anything. 

Though they did finally make a breakthrough recently. Lloyd just wishes he wasn’t at the center of it.

Flashback:

“Son,” Garmadon's deep gravelly voice says behind Lloyd, and Lloyd jumps; swearing, he almost hits his head on the ceiling by how far he jumped.

“Where is your mother?” Garmadon’s purple eyes have an unknown glint in them. The oni looks at Lloyd like his dad used to look at him when starting a serious conversation, and Lloyd swallows.

“Why do you want to know?” Lloyd says, his voice definitely not cracking. It’s been years. Why is his voice still cracking?!

“Well, I wanted her to sign these divorce papers so I could happily pursue a relationship with Vinny.” Garmadon says and pulls out divorce papers like it’s just a random Tuesday.

“What?!” Lloyd shrieks. And he expects Garmadon to say he’s joking. Divorce?! And who’s Vinny?!

Instead, Garmadon says in a worried tone, his voice sounding so close to the dad that Lloyd misses, “Now son. I’m sure it’s not easy to accept that your parents are getting divorced, especially since you are so young, but your mother and I are mature adults and need to get this done, so we can move on in our lives.”

Lloyd sputters, “I’m in my twenties! I’m not a kid.” It’s been 13 years since Lloyd’s been magically aged up to around 14. And even then, he was 8 before he magically aged up, so he would be in his twenties either way! Sure, he has an extreme baby face, but he is an adult! Even if he doesn't feel like it. And why does Garmadon suddenly care now? He can't try and parent him years too late and expect everything will be fine!

Thus, Lloyd yells at Garmadon before he can answer “Also, I have no idea where Misako is, and honestly I don’t give a damn! I hardly even know her! She left me when I was a baby! And she only came back into my life when I had to fight the Overlord for the first time. Then she just disappeared for years on end till she suddenly pops up with some cryptic message for a day and leaves again! So honestly good on you for getting a divorce! But don’t pretend that I care!” And Lloyd stomps out and slams the door to his room and screams into his pillow.

Eventually, Lloyd fell asleep, but it wasn’t long before a knock interrupted his rest, and he had to face reality again.

“What?” Lloyd answers, his voice muffled by his pillow.

“Lloyd,” Uncle Wu says softly, “Can Garmadon and I come in?”

‘Ugh, please no,’ Lloyd wants to say more than anything, but he relents, and sits up in his bed and tries to comb through his messy blond hair. 

Lloyd finally sighs, “Come in.”

Uncle Wu and Garmadon enter Lloyds room, and they stand opposite him. Lloyd looks at them and waits for them to start speaking, but they just glance worriedly at Lloyd.

Lloyd rolls his eyes, “What do you guys want to talk about?”

Garmadon clears his throat, “Well after you… talked about Misako,” he says her name with venom, and Lloyd has to hide his flinch. Somehow, though, Garmadon seems to notice and breathes in deeply before continuing, “I went to talk to my brother, and neither of us knew about what you told me earlier. We just want to know where exactly you were raised and who raised you since Misako didn’t.”

Lloyd scowls, “Stop talking to me like I’m a child. I’m already in my twenties. I’m an adult for crying out loud! Also, why do you two suddenly care so much? It’s not like it’s hindering my ability to be the green ninja.” 

Garmadon raises an eyebrow in disbelief and looks at his brother in worry.

“Lloyd,” Uncle Wu reaches over to Lloyd, but Lloyd pulls away, and Wu's golden eyes look so sad, “You are still a child, and you will be one for quite some time. And we care about you more than just being the green ninja. You are family, and we are worried about you.”

Lloyd shakes his head in disbelief. Just because Wu’s like a thousand years old doesn't mean that Lloyd deserves to be treated as a kid just because he’s so much younger.

“Besides you haven’t even lost your baby fangs or even molted your first dragon skin. You're still just a pup,” Garmadon gruffly replies.

“Hatchling.” Uncle Wu corrects.

Garmadon's purple eyes narrow at his brother, “Pup.”

Wu’s golden eyes narrow back, “Hatchling.”

“Pup.”

“Hatching.”

“Pup!”

“Hatching!”

“PUP!”

“HATCHLING!”

“ENOUGH!” Lloyd shouts over the two brothers, and they shut up in shock. “Is this seriously about my oni-dragon heritage?! What does that even matter? I’m still half human and obviously take more after my human half, and therefore, I age like a human. SO. I. AM. NOT. A. CHILD!”

“Oh son,” Garmadon’s voice breaks, and it truly sounds exactly like his dad’s, and it’s like the last piece finally clicks in Garmadon’s mind to fully remember. “I am so sorry I haven’t been able to teach you about your heritage and that I missed that your mother wasn’t in the picture since I was hardly there. I’ve truly failed you son.”

Garmadon goes closer to Lloyd and goes to embrace him in a hug, and Lloyd lets him, too shocked because Garmadon’s apologizing?! Is his dad finally back? Does he remember everything?

And then Garmadon’s sitting next to Lloyd on his bed and hugging him for dear life, and he starts sobbing, “I’m so so sorry, my son. I’ve hurt you, and I don’t know how I can ever make up for that.”

And Lloyd's shock fades away, and he embraces his dad back just as fiercely, “Dad. I-I’ve m-missed y-you. I’d t-thought you’d n-never truly be b-back!” And he sobs into his dad’s chest. Except Lloyd doesn’t just sob, but whines. Though Lloyd hardly notices as he's too busy focusing on the overwhelming emotions he’s feeling right now.

Garmadon, though, notices and instantly tightens his embrace on his son, and deep purrs start emitting from him to help his pup calm down. He puts his son’s head in the crook of his neck, and Garmadon instinctually broadens his shoulders as if to seem bigger and threatening to outsiders to protect his pup.

Wu smiles sadly at the scene, tears escaping his eyes, as he stares at his brother and nephew.

Eventually, their crying dies down, and Lloyd tries to pull away, but his dad holds onto him. Lloyd sighs but relents since he feels so warm and comfortable. Still, Lloyd looks down embarrassed. He’s not a child anymore. He can't be with all he's faced.

Garmadon lifts Lloyd’s chin up, and Lloyd glances at his dad’s comforting purple eyes, and Garmadon gently wipes some tears out of Lloyd’s face with his thumbs, the dark scales of his dad’s fingers surprisingly soft, and Garmadon hugs Lloyd gently.

Lloyd sinks into his dad’s embrace, feeling a deep rumble from his dad’s chest. It makes Lloyd’s eyes start to close as he feels warm and safe. But then Lloyd furrows his brows confused. What is that? It’s like…

Lloyd pushes away, shocked, “Dad are you purring?!” 

“Of course, Lloyd, and you are too, you know. It’s just part of our oni heritage.” Garmadon says softly, as if speaking to a child.

And Lloyd, to his growing horror, does indeed feel himself purring, a soft purr emitting from within his chest following his dad’s. And Lloyd whines in distress. Did he really just whine. What is this happening to him right now?! 

Garmadon pulls Lloyd closer, trying to calm his pup’s distress. But now that Lloyd is aware of the sounds, his distress is growing further, and he is starting to panic and wants his dad to let him go, but at the same time, he doesn’t. Lloyd is just so scared and confused.

Wu coughs loudly, getting his family’s attention. “Garmadon you need to let Lloyd go, he’s not used to his oni heritage right now, and it’s just further distressing him right now.”

Garmadon growls at his brother, his mind fogged up too much to think of anything else except protecting his pup.

Except Wu growls back just as hard and hisses in his dragonic tongue, “Let Lloyd go.” 

Garmadon, shocked, loosens his grip just enough for Lloyd to get out of his grip and run to Uncle Wu.

Garmadon growls deeply as Wu holds Lloyd and growls in oni, “Let go of my son.”

“No, brother.” Wu states calmly in Ninjagon but prepares to defend himself.

Just before Garmadon can attack, Lloyd whispers, his voice breaking, “Don’t fight, please.”

Garmadon instantly snaps out of it and stops growling as his mind clears up. He whispers brokenly, “I’m sorry.” 

Garmadon falls back on Lloyd's bed, looking down. He’s messed up again. 

‘Why can’t I be a good dad for my son, just once?!’ Garmadon thinks. Agony felt in his heart once again for his inability to not mess up with Lloyd.

Lloyd breathes in and out and calms himself down in his uncle’s hold, and then he looks over to his dad and sees him with the saddest look on his face.

Lloyd gingerly gets out of his uncle’s hold and nods when Uncle Wu asks if he’s okay.

“Dad. I’m sorry I panicked. I just…” Lloyd gulps, “I thought I was human. Or well, mostly human. I didn’t want to accept that I wasn’t aging like one. And I think deep down I knew. FSM, I still look basically the same age as I did after I used the Tomorrow's Tea!”

“I just thought that I could finally be normal.” Lloyd’s voice breaks.

Garmadon looks at his son, so heartbroken. He doesn’t know how to help his son. He’s not normal, and he’ll never be.

And then Lloyd clears his throat, his bright green eyes shining, “But normal's overrated anyways, and I don’t have it in me to keep rejecting myself and you to believe that I’ll ever be normal. I finally have my dad back again, and I’ll hate myself if I don’t take this chance to learn more about you and about our heritage while I still have the chance.”

Lloyd laughs bitterly, “Because destiny will eventually decide to fuck with me again and I won’t have time, so I can’t just continue to ignore this. Because one day it might be too late to learn this from my d-dad.” Lloyd's voice breaks at the end.

“Oh, Lloyd, I’ll gladly tell you whatever you want to know,” Garmadon agrees and smiles sadly, praying to his father just this once that his son can find peace.

Lloyd smiles, tears in his eyes, and looks back to his uncle, “A-and I think Uncle Wu needs to be here to help explain some things too.”

Wu looks at his nephew in shock, he answers, “If that’s what you want nephew.”

“It is.” Lloyd nods his head.

“Alright, what do you want to know first?” Garmadon asks and pats the bed for both his son and brother to sit next to him. Lloyd gladly goes over, and his dad embraces him in a side hug, while Wu sits next to Lloyd and looks to Garmadon, wondering how he’s going to explain their heritage.

“Well as long as you make sure you include the dragons, brother. You always seem to forget them when discussing our heritage.” Wu says with a mischievous voice.

Garmadon rolls his eyes, “As long as you don’t forget the oni.”

Lloyd laughs brightly, the weight of the world seeming to lift from his shoulders, and his family joins him and starts laughing as well, and Misako is all but forgotten, for now, to the small family of the First Spinjitzu Master’s descendants.

Next Ninjago One-shot

[unclewaynemunson]

Jeff is one of my favorite characters and I think we should start a post of all our favorite Jeff headcanons. He and Freak get left out in almost every Eddie-centric fic I read, with his "best friend" being either Gareth or Chrissy, and I'm tired of it. Jeff is wonderful. Here's my hc's:

- Jeff and Eddie have been best friends since middle school. They started CC and Hellfire together.

- they went to the Snowball together and rigged the bubble machine to spew bubbles during the slow dance songs. The dance had to end early and Jeff and Eddie never got caught

- Jeff's parents loves Eddie. They used to have sleepovers at each other's place almost every weekend.

- Jeff was the first person Eddie came out to. Jeff tried to be surprised and "that's great, man, thanks for telling me!" But Eddie saw right through that.

- Eddie is afraid of geese and spiders. Jeff thinks this is fucking hilarious.

- post-Vecna, Jeff is the one Eddie reconnects with first. Eddie tells him everything, despite the NDAs and Steve's warnings. Jeff believes him, because he knows there's wacky shit going on in Hawkins, and he's seen Eddie's wounds.

- they have that kind of friendship that nothing can break. Even if they don't see or talk to each other for years, because Life Happens and people lose touch, they'll always have part of themselves carved out for their best friend.

Ok, that's all I got for now, and sorry for the long ask! I just love Jeff so much and he (and Freak, too, because Freak gets ignored because of fatphobia) deserves just as much love and attention as Gareth gets.

What are your Jeff and Eddie headcanons?

I am loving this Jeff love and your headcanons, thank you so much for sending this to me!!! <3

I think with Unnamed Freak things are a bit different bc, yaknow, he doesn't have a name. For me at least that makes me hesitant to write about him so I don't wanna go as far as to say it's all bc he's fat (even though I'm not gonna deny that that probably also plays a part in how popular he is in this fandom urgh). Anyway, yes this fandom certainly does Jeff dirty. I think it's this gross combination of racism and people copying a lot from already existing stories, characterizations and headcanons without much critical thinking of their own (which baffles me, if you're creative enough to write a story please use that creativity for some originality ffs). Anyway, this is gonna turn into a rant again can you tell I'm still annoyed? so let's turn to something more positive now, like my headcanons for our beloved Jeff:

He was the first person in Hawkins (after Wayne obviously) that Eddie got close to. For Jeff it was kinda the same, being a black, nerdy boy in this town had been very isolating for him and Eddie was his first real friend.

Unnamed Freak made their duo into a trio a bit later. All the others in the group (including Gareth) were Eddie's "lost little sheepies" who he sought out to protect. This means that Jeff and Unnamed Freak are the only people who don't borderline worship Eddie but see him (and love him) for who he is including all his flaws. They're also the only ones not afraid to call him out on his bullshit.

Jeff's mom is really cool. Her name is Pauline and she's not like Jeff at all (she was a cheerleader in high school). Despite their differences they love each other a lot. (Jeff's mom is actually heavily featured in one of the fics I wrote so I got her all fleshed out lmao)

He has two little twin sisters. They're friends with Erica, one of them is one of her friends we meet in the mall in s3. He has this typical hate-love relationship with his sisters: they fight a lot, but at the end of the day, he would die for them.

HE'S BISEXUAL

While he can't wait to get out of Hawkins and to a place that'll be more accepting of him, he doesn't want to move too far away from his family.

He's the most loyal friend in the world, 100% a ride-or-die kinda guy

While he does love metal a lot, his guilty pleasure is Tina Turner

Tell me all your Jeff headcanons i wanna hear more about him!

[dawn-moths]

“Our Love Was Written in the Stars”

Kaeya Alberich x Female Reader

word count: 18,700+

(After losing touch with your childhood best friend and first love, you find yourself face to face with Kaeya four years later while back in Mondstadt for a university research project. While part of you had hoped to see him, you also hadn’t expected it to be so soon. But the more you two begin to reconnect, the more you realize he missed you just as much as you missed him. So, with a lot of lost time to make up for, you and Kaeya explore the relationship you were probably always meant to have.)

disclaimer/content warning: 18+ content! minors dni! Mostly fluff and then smut at the end, some spoilers for Kaeya and Diluc’s backstory (though I’m sure I didn’t get the exact timeline right), childhood friends to lovers, drinking/alcohol, some hurt/comfort with a little bit of angst, slow burn.

*thank you to the anon who requested this fic, i hope you enjoy!*

*ao3 mirror*

***

Things always seemed so much simpler, looking back. Things used to last longer.

A day spent playing with your friends would feel like forever. At least, until the time came to go home. Then it felt like the fun had barely even begun.

And the four weeks out of every year— two in the fall and two in the spring— that your father left you under the care of the Ragnvindr household’s staff while he and Crepus were off on a mutual business trip in one of the other nations…

Those weeks had lasted eons.

That was, of course, until both of the wine tycoons returned and you were once again whisked away back to your own family estate.

However, even as you became more aware of just how short that sliver of time was the older you grew, you never stopped looking forward to spending those weeks with Master Ragnvindr’s sons, Kaeya and Diluc, who were just about the same age as you.

You used to kick and cry and scream when your father told you to thank Crepus and his boys for letting you stay with them before you headed home. Then, after a very stern talking to about how, if that kind of behavior was to result every time your father returned to retrieve you, you wouldn’t be allowed to stay with your friends anymore, you turned to crying yourself to sleep on the last night in the Ragnvindr mansion and the first night back in yours.

By the time you were a teenager, the pain of leaving your closest friends had been reduced to a dull ache in your heart. You knew you’d see them again. By then, you didn’t even have to wait for your fathers’ business trips, because for your thirteenth birthday you’d been given a horse, your father allowing you to ride there any day you pleased— so long as all your lessons where completed with your private tutor— insisting one of the boys accompanied you home before dark.

It was always Kaeya who brought you back, so eager at the first chance he’d practically volunteered himself before you’d finished the explanation of your father’s conditions. And you’d been grateful for the extra time with him, sometimes racing each other through the winding woods that lay in between your home and his as your laughter and playful taunts echoed through the trees.

It had always been Kaeya, in so many ways.

It had always been Kaeya who was so excited to play with you when your father dropped you off, even if just for a few hours while he and Crepus disappeared off to one of the private meeting rooms to discuss more business.

It had always been Kaeya who let you choose the games, who would be enthusiastic whether you were playing war or house or hide and seek.

It had always been Kaeya who held your hand when you got sad, squeezed it a little as he told you not to cry, that you’d see each other again soon.

It had always been Kaeya who wrote to you during the winter months when you’d become snowed in, neither of you able to travel the miles it took to see each other let alone get much further than the front door.

And it wasn’t that Diluc was forgotten. But he’d never been as willing to play along.

For a little while, the three of you had been an even trio, the boys happy to have a new playmate and you, well, you had no siblings of your own back home. You were just happy not to be alone. But as time went on, the scales shifted.

No matter what you wanted to do, Kaeya was always on board. Diluc would argue, say he’d rather sneak out to the back woods that lined the edge of the property and play manhunt or adventurer than sit around wasting time doing stupid arts and crafts projects or dressing up in ridiculous outfits in order to make each other laugh.

You’d start to get upset as the two brothers would fight, Kaeya calling Diluc selfish while Diluc insisted Kaeya was just a pushover.

“It’s all because you like her!” the young Ragnvindr would spit, clearly trying to rile Kaeya. “That’s why you’re always doing whatever she wants, even if it’s stupid and boring!” That was about the time Kaeya would lunge at his brother, the two of them tackling each other to the ground and throwing flailing punches while you yelled at them not to fight, your eyes welling with tears.

In the end, Diluc would storm off and go do whatever he did when he was alone, maybe just sulk in his room for all you knew, but Kaeya would never chase after him. He’d come back to you, assure you that his brother was the boring one for always wanting to play the same games, and then hold your hand and help wipe your tears, giving you a smile as he told you he’d sneak into his father’s study to steal some of the new paints that had recently arrived, maybe snag an old canvas or two he didn’t think the master of the house would notice missing.

You’d smile and hug him, even join him in getting into trouble sometimes, and then it was like all your worries faded away. Because there was something about Kaeya, about being around him, that always helped untangle any knots that had formed in your heart.

But your most favorite thing to do with Kaeya— not that you didn’t love the games and the giggles and the mischief you shared— was to sneak out his window on the second floor and climb up onto the roof with him where you’d both lay side by side, hand in hand, and look up at the stars.

You’d get scared sleeping alone and inevitably pitter-patter your way to his room, giving a gentle tap on his door before cracking it open with a broken whisper of his name on your lips. He’d sit upright in bed, flipping the layers of blankets back and padding his little feet across the floor to come meet you, reminding you there was nothing to be afraid of.

He’d told you that the dark was not an enemy, that it could be beautiful and inviting and that he’d show you how.

The star gazing in itself eventually became a game, as most mundane between you two often did, and you’d gradually begin to cheer up as you and him took turns creating shapes in the stars and trying to guess the constellations that floated above your heads.

Kaeya’s favorite was the peacock— one he’d made up and had quite the time trying to get you to form the shape of as he directed your eyes to all the little twinkling dots of light in the correct order— and once you saw it you hummed to yourself. It suited him, and when you told him this around the third time he pointed it out he’d just rolled his eyes and smirked, coyly suggesting you were jealous he’d found such a cool grouping of stars.

But what you didn’t know was that, as much as the peacock reminded you of your friend, the grandiose bird also began to remind Kaeya of you, too.

The peacock soon made its way into his letters, a carefully drawn eyespot feather in indigo ink signed at the bottom of every message. It made you smile to yourself, your heart full and lonely at the same time.

It was Kaeya’s way of saying “I love you. I want you to never forget that, just like I never forgot the night I showed you the peacock in the sky.” But if you were aware of the symbol’s significance, you didn’t seem to return the favor when you sent a reply.

How could you, when you’d convinced yourself he would never think of you that way? When he’d treat you like a little sister one day only to perform something common of courtship the next?

Kaeya was reluctantly sentimental. Perhaps that was a side effect of being abandoned by his birth father at such a young age, a bitter lesson to never get too attached to anything or anyone in fear of losing them. But he couldn’t help how attached he’d become to you.

In some ways, you two had felt more like siblings than he and Diluc did, for a while.

You used to wish Kaeya was your real brother. That way you two would forever be bonded, no matter how great the distance or time between you. But as you entered into your teenage years, your heart and your mind changing along with your body, something about that notion began to shift and evolve as well.

By the time you were sixteen, Kaeya’s playful flirtations and cheeky winks felt like they held more weight than before. Because your immediate reaction wasn’t to roll your eyes or slap his arm like it had been in previous years. Now, those gestures made your ears run hot and your hummingbird heart bat its wings a little faster. But you could never quite tell if he was joking or not, perhaps just being mischievously mean to get a reaction out of you which, as he’d learned pretty early on, wasn’t that hard to do.

But sometimes, when you replayed his words or actions in your head when you were alone— the way his voice dipped lower, tone smooth and tempting as his eyes scanned your body, his fingers brushing against yours during dinner time or as he handed you a book from a high shelf you couldn’t reach— you asked yourself why you weren’t willing to play this game with him, if that’s all it really was.

Deep down you knew it must be. Because, if you did decide to join in, it might cease to be a game altogether. At least, for you it would. And then what if you found out he’d been joking all along? It would break your heart. It would ruin everything. It was a risk you weren’t willing to take.

So you held your tongue and clenched your jaw when your best friend, adopted brother, star-crossed lover in a different life— whatever Kaeya was to you— gave you those winks when no one else was watching. When he came up behind you and stood just a little too close, said something about how, pretty soon, he’d be a whole head taller than you…

And on slow, quiet days as rain poured from the sky and dark clouds flooded the valley and you both found yourselves huddled on the chaise by the fireplace when you read your book aloud and Kaeya listened like he only cared about the sound of your voice and not the story, as he combed his lithe fingers gently through your hair, smoothing out the tangles while you entertained him— and sometimes even Diluc, if he had nothing better to do— with tales of dragons and knights, talking animals and princesses who wielded silver swords…

You told yourself all of it— every word and glance and ghosting touch— meant absolutely nothing.

It was all for the sake of ensuring Kaeya stayed in your life, just as he’d always been, after all.

How ironic your feeble attempt at control became because of one fateful, unforgivable night.

†††

You’d heard the news from Diluc, of all people— the news that Crepus Ragnvindr was dead and Kaeya Alberich was nowhere to be found.

Though, Kaeya had been found eventually, slumped over in a bar tucked away in some alley, drinking himself stupid as he gazed deep into the miniature snowstorm that swirled within the cryo vision clutched in his palm. But even as his speech slurred and his movements lagged and staggered, he refused to come back home.

Eventually, those who’d been sent to fetch their deceased master’s adopted son gave up. They left the tavern and headed back to report their findings to Diluc, who continued to turn a cold shoulder and act as if he wasn’t worried or bothered about his brother’s well-being in the slightest.

So when he’d told you, his tone stiff and cruel and spiteful, you’d found yourself crying before your brain even had time to process what had just been said.

“Where is he now?” you’d asked, your voice cracking as you tried to clear the heartbreak away.

“If he’s not still drowning his sorrows, well…” Diluc sneered, already turning his back on you and heading into the house that you’d known as well as your own— the house you now might never see the inside of ever again— all that remained being the shadows of your memories left flickering on the walls by the candlelight or echoing eerily down the long hallways late at night. “Then I have no idea where he is.”

However, his long red hair, usually kept so orderly but rather disheveled at the moment, and the dark circles under his crimson eyes told a different story as to how Diluc was dealing with his missing brother.

Your mouth opened to ask what the bar was called, at least, but all that was able to leave your mouth before the door slammed in your face was a broken squeak. From there, you rode into the city, spent nearly the entire night hopping from one bar to the next only in hopes of catching a glimpse of all that navy hair or hearing a burst of that confident laughter.

By the time morning came and your search had yielded nothing other than a widening in the hollow carved out in your chest and the dizziness of the sleepless night, you had no choice but to call it quits. You wrote to Kaeya the moment you returned home, the letter not even making it into the envelope before you finally collapsed into bed. It was a simple message, but direct enough.

Kaeya, it read in your curling scrawl, though this time a little messier on account of the exhaustion. Please, tell me what happened? Where have you gone? I need to see you.

About a week later, when his reply came, your heart nearly lept out of your throat, your eager, shaking hands tearing the gold envelope with your name printed perfectly across it to shreds, letting the scraps of paper fall to the floor around your feet.

Your eyes watered upon seeing his handwriting again. You could hear his voice as you quickly scanned the page, a narration that had once been so enthusiastic and charming now turned regretful and hesitant.

But Kaeya did tell you what happened, both about Crepus Ragnvindr and the arrival of his Vision. When you reached the end of the explanation, however, you began to panic. Because you were sure there had to be more than that. He would’ve told you where he’d gone, wouldn’t he? He would’ve said he was coming to you, that he’d be arriving by the following afternoon.

But there were no words left, only the frayed edge of the parchment’s end.

There wasn’t even the signing of his name, always so beautiful and poetic in his elegant, looping cursive.

There was only a shaky drawing of a peacock feather, the ink smudged at the edge of the eyespot like Kaeya hadn’t been patient enough to let it dry before sending it.

†††

It had been nearly four years since you left the nation of Mondstadt.

Four years since you applied for and got accepted into one of the top universities in Liyue, moving to the nation of contracts and Mora and ore, now only returning to your home territory for a prestigious research project you still couldn’t believe you got approved onto the small team of.

Four years since hearing from the boy you’d grown up with, loved, and then lost.

You stood before the city’s high walls and felt that familiar breeze weaving through your hair, the warm summer air being drawn shakily into your lungs as you took one, long inhale, then exhaled the remnants of your past back out to be carried across the rolling hills on the wind. You forced yourself to step past the Knights guarding the front entrance, hoping to hide your reservations at being back in your homeland while your two eager and excited classmates pointed out unfamiliar and interesting things to each other a little ways ahead of you.

They were Liyue born and raised and had taken you under their wing when you’d been the stranger in a new city, all wide-eyed and anxiously hopeful. You wished you could return the favor in being their personal tour guide, but it’s just that the ache you thought you’d left behind after departing from the city of Freedom is back and it hurts, pulsing between your ribs and making it a little harder to breathe through the season’s humidity.

But it’s the beginning of June, the sky a clear and nearly cloudless blue. The birds are chirping from the eaves of the houses and the cobblestone is sure and strong under your feet, familiar smells drifting out from the Good Hunter restaurant beckoning you in for some of your childhood favorites. Perhaps that would make you feel better.

But, then again, it’s also possible that it could make you feel much, much worse.

“You never told us how lively it was!” one of your classmates, Haoyu, calls back to you. You give him a weak smile and continue with your steady pace.

“Yeah, or how many cute boys live in Mondstadt,” your other friend, Fenhua, slyly remarks as she eyes a trio of Knights strolling by.

“I can’t believe we get to spend the whole summer here,” Haoyu goes on, turning in circles as he gazes up at all the architecture that touches the sky. Then he gives you a mischievous look as he teasingly asks, “First night out is on you, right?”

You scoff as your lips pull up into a crooked smirk. “Yeah, you wish,” you reply.

Fenhua gives Haoyu a nudge and reminds him jokingly, “So much for all that talk about your family owning one of the ports. What, were you overcompensating for secretly being bankrupt or something?”

The two of them bicker and banter back and forth until Fenhua is laughing, but the details of their conversation fade into the busy sounds of the city as your memories fill in the gaps.

You still remember how it used to feel running these streets beside Kaeya and Diluc. It was rare that your fathers let you come here, always so strict about keeping their heirs protected and secure behind the iron wrought gates of their looming estates. But, every once in a while, you were able to convince one of the caretakers who had been put in charge of watching you three for the day to let you accompany her into the city.

You’d all pressed your noses to the shop windows, gazing inside and picking out the object you liked best. Kaeya always had the most expensive taste. You and Diluc used to tease him for it, always guessing which one he’d choose based on what seemed to cost the most Mora.

“Don’t be mad that I can spot luxury just by looking at it,” Kaeya used to defend with his nose up in the air, arms crossed over his chest. “It’s not my fault I enjoy nice things.”

Diluc would tease his brother for it, say he ought to be more humble once in a while, but you’d usually just end up agreeing with Kaeya. The ring or scarf or shoes he’d pointed out as his favorite was usually to your liking too, though you’d never considered yourself confident or flashy enough to pull them off. Kaeya valued beauty over practicality while Diluc liked something simple that could serve its purpose.

You supposed you were somewhere in the middle.

And, maybe, as you were now leisurely pacing the streets, you’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of that flowing, navy hair out of the corner of your eye, hear that devilish chuckle echoing down the alleys. For all you knew, Kaeya didn’t even live anywhere near Mondstadt anymore. Perhaps that would make it easier for you to stay the season here, if only you had a way to confirm it.

But then, something made you stop in your tracks. As two more Knights passed by you and your curious classmates, you glanced over your shoulder, eager to catch what you could of their conversation…

“…Cavalry Captain is always trying to get others to do his work for him,” one grumbled. “I swear, he really thinks he gets a pass just because of his looks.”

“Aww, don’t be jealous,” the other Knight teased his colleague. “Besides, you can’t tell me that if you weren’t as attractive as Kaeya you wouldn’t use it to your advantage too.”

You felt like your blood had turned to ice, veins frosted over from your head to your toes, numbing your fingertips as you just stood in the middle of the street, your friends traveling a little ways ahead of you until they turned and realized you’d lagged behind.

“Hey!” Haoyu called, tugging you back to reality. But it isn’t until you felt a hand lightly resting on your arm that you broke from your wide eyed, seemingly terrified trance and saw they’d both returned to your side. “What’s up? Everything ok?” he asked, looking a little concerned while Fenhua looked dangerously intrigued.

“Oh, yeah…” you nervously giggled, turning to face them and urging them to follow as you slowly made your way further down the street. “I thought I forgot something important back in Liyue but I remembered I have it now. I’m good.”

The rest of the day was spent trying to act like you hadn’t heard the name you’d been trying so hard to let go of.

But now you know.

Kaeya Alberich was not only still in Mondstadt, but the Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius.

Maybe it’s a different Kaeya, you spent the remainder of the week trying to convince yourself.

But you know it’s not a different Kaeya.

Kaeya is a rarity.

A one of a kind.

You’ve never met another him and you probably never will.

So the question then becomes, over the years, had he met another you?

†††

The research project keeps you busy and focused…

Until it doesn’t.

June has come and gone and now the saplings of late spring have turned to the blossoms of early July, decorating the trees with pale lilacs and pinks, the air a little thicker, the sun burning a little hotter as it beams down on you, beading sweat on your brow as you and your classmates work day after day to study, log, and produce results for what could potentially be a very big door into all your futures.

You’re up late one night, jotting down a few more notes and trying not to smudge the ink as you struggle to read Haoyu’s jagged scrawl and compare techniques. You keep trying to stay centered and present, replaying the day’s work in your mind to accurately contribute to the project, but every time you go to put pen to paper, his face pops into your head and makes the sharp nib hover over the parchment, the unwritten words captured in the ink desperate to be recorded but denied again and again.

You’ve wondered whether you should reach out to Kaeya or not.

Did he know you were back? If he did, would he even care? Were you overthinking all of this?

Well, at least you knew the answer to the last of those questions, which was absolutely.

But how could you not? You could only assume, with the way things had ended, or rather, faded away, that he had no interest in contacting you. He’d had these past four years to do so and you hadn’t seen a single peacock feather in all that time.

Maybe he hated you.

But why would he? You’d done nothing wrong.

But what if he did? What if he hated you?

You let the pen fall from your hands, tiny blotches of ink that had been knocked loose freckling the page of your notes, and let out an exasperated sigh as you leaned back in your chair, slumping and turning your face up to the ceiling, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to rid his image from your mind.

You wanted to cry. You wanted to go to him. You wished you’d never come back to this city. You’ve been dying to see him. You were so mad at him for torturing you like this. You just wanted to see him smile at you again like he did back when everything was alright. You wanted to hit him. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted a drink, a distraction, anything to still your mind for a little while.

So when Fenhua came scampering into the room a little while later with the proposal that the three of you get out for a bit and have some fun because all this damn research was starting to make all of you slowly go insane, you were grateful for the invitation.

As you approached the Angel’s Share, hanging in the back of your trio, always the quiet, observant one of your pack, you felt a familiar feeling. It wasn’t quite dread, but it wasn’t quite excitement either.

It was more like anticipation.

Something was going to happen tonight, here, at this place.

You just didn’t know whether you wanted to be brave enough to step through the tavern doors and figure out what it was.

But it seemed you didn’t have much of a choice as Fenhua and Haoyu looped their arms through each of yours, guiding you inside with them, clearly sensing you needed the support.

The moment the door swung open, the jumbled noise of constant, lively chatter along with the clinking of glasses and boisterous shouts flooded the air around you, drawing you in. And soon, to your relief, you found that maybe anticipation didn’t always warn of something bad, but instead hinted that something good was on its way. Because, as you took a seat between your two friends at the bar, you found yourself smiling and laughing without even having to fake it anymore.

You made a toast to all your hard work so far, and to all the work that was still to come, may the Archons bless it to go smoothly. About an hour in, you felt lighter, warmer, and, with the help of some of that liquid courage flowing through your veins, a little more confident.

“Hey, I’ll be right back!” you shouted to Fenhua who, despite being right next to you, still might not’ve even heard you over the ever growing rowdiness, each passing hour bringing with it more lively patrons.

You turned and slid off the barstool, heading for the tiny bathroom where the line had finally shortened, leaning against the nook in the wall while waiting for the current occupant to exit and gazing out at the mass of moving people in a daze when you finally caught it— a glimpse of all that navy hair, the charming chuckle of a man blessed with good fortune and even better looks cutting through the noise of the packed crowd.

You and Kaeya locked eyes from across the room and then neither of you were smiling anymore. But Kaeya never let any surprise he felt show for too long, remedying his sudden shock with a small smirk while your heart continued to pound. You hadn’t even realized you’d been holding your breath until the tightness in your lungs turned into a dull ache, reminding you to exhale the air you’d been halfway to sucking down before the sight of him suffocated you.

The bathroom door opened behind you, the exiting occupant nudging your shoulder slightly and giving a startled apology. You turned your head to face her for but a second, jostled by the unexpected contact, and uttered a quiet, “It’s fine,” as she squeezed past you in the short, narrow hallway and back into all the hubbub of the bar.

When you turned back to train your eyes where Kaeya had just been, he was gone, as elusive as a ghost as he carefully slinked through the maze of people and disappeared.

You stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind you, just standing there for what felt like forever until you were finally able to calm down enough to think.

Maybe it had been your imagination. Between all the late nights and stress and the alcohol, your brain could just be manifesting things to trick you.

You blinked hard, trying to rid the view of him from your thoughts.

He looked the same, but also different. You could’ve sworn he’d had something over one of his eyes. The Kaeya you remembered had periwinkle eyes— two of them— and had still looked a bit like a boy the last time you’d seen him. The person you’d just glimpsed was a man, his stature tall and lean and lithe, shoulders broad and arms strong.

Four years is a long time, a little voice in your head reminded you. You’ve changed a lot too.

Once you crept out from the bathroom, seeing the line having once again grown to stretch down the perimeter of the wall, you began to take a step back towards the direction of your friends but stopped mid-stride.

You couldn’t go back to them. Not like this, when you felt like you didn’t know up from down or left from right or fear from longing.

So, instead, you turned and headed towards the staircase, finding the second floor significantly less claustrophobic, and made your way to the balcony, which you were relieved to find empty.

You leaned against the railing, iron digging into your elbows as the steady breeze sent strands of your hair into your eyes. You hung your head, slumping further over the balcony, and let out a long, deep sigh.

It all seemed like a mistake— Kaeya and Diluc’s fight, Kaeya’s final letter to you, you going off to Liyue, Kaeya not reaching out, you not reaching out, you coming back to the one place you knew you’d secretly been avoiding, thinking about him nonstop, coming to this bar, seeing him here, running away— every last decision or event that had occurred in the last four years suddenly running through your head like a sped up film reel, the images making you dizzy, little bursts of stars spotting your vision when you tipped your head back up to the sky.

You felt the threat of oncoming tears as the memories kept flooding through you— the smiling, laughing face of an eight-year-old Kaeya, you trying to stifle your own giggles while Diluc looked more than displeased— the sparkling, periwinkle eyes of a twelve-year-old Kaeya as he lay next to you on the roof, pointing out shapes in the stars, finding his beloved peacock constellation and giving a smirk of satisfaction when you told him it suited him— the smooth, charming words of a fifteen-year-old Kaeya who leaned up against the wall as he looked at you, teasing that he was getting taller than you by the day, holding something just out of your reach as you jumped to try and grab it, scolding him to knock it off but laughing nonetheless— and, finally, an eighteen-year-old Kaeya, riding next to you through the woods, both of you urging your horses to gallop faster and faster as you raced between the trees, your shouts and taunts and laughter echoing across the land until he inevitably beat you and you broke out into the valley on the other side, already having rehearsed some excuse about how you would’ve won if only he hadn’t cheated or caught you off guard.

That might’ve been the last good memory you had of him— that afternoon with your horses, just passing time until the storm rolling overhead caught up with you— the last good memory you had before you were forced to imagine him distraught, just having lost his father for the second time. You envisioned him spilling over with fury as he and Diluc threw fists or crossed blades. You’d heard that’s when he’d gained his Vision, a sudden blast of cryo shooting an icy frost across the battlefield between him and his brother.

You could imagine the look and both their faces— Diluc shocked, maybe even a little fearful, eyes pleading not to let this go any further, while Kaeya was stunned, only to launch right back into battle as his ego breathed in the sweet drug of his newfound power, his talents recognized by the gods.

And when Diluc had told you the news, told you about Crepus’s death and Kaeya’s gift from the Archons and, with slamming that door in your face, greatly inferring that no more good memories would be born under the roof of the Ragnvindr home, that had been the last that you’d seen of him, too.

It was sort of funny.

With them, there had once been so many beautiful beginnings.

But now, all you could seem to grasp onto was the heartbreaking endings.

You felt your body tense as the balcony doors swung open and then closed, the quiet swoosh and click bringing a wave of annoyance over you. 

Was there nowhere you were allowed to be alone in this place? You ought to turn and give whoever had just walked out a glare sharp enough to send them staggering back a few steps, maybe reconsider where they sought out their own sliver of peace and quiet. But before you could so much as glance over your shoulder, the voice interrupted your agitation like a light cutting through the dark.

“Hey…” It was the first rays of dawn splitting through the velvety night on the horizon, chasing the stars away until the moon returned to reclaim the sky. “I thought that was you.”

Your heart was quicker to accept the truth than your brain was, your bones drawn instinctually towards that smooth, sly tone like a moth to a flame. You didn’t want to go, knew if you got too close your delicate wings would catch fire and you’d be reduced to death and ash, but alas, you drifted towards the light, blinded by your yearning to touch it, addicted.

“It’s been a while,” Kaeya greeted you with that charming smile, giving a hesitant wave. “How’ve ya been?”

You could only gawk at him for a while, eyes scanning his entire being as if speaking to the figure before you was some kind of trap, some kind of test, like if you didn’t make sure he was the real thing and lent your voice to his ears you’d be cast into the abyss forever.

And while he felt the same, what you’d thought before had been right. The Kaeya currently standing before you did indeed look different than you remembered.

His skin was still that same warm, honey brown shade, his hair still sleek and navy though worn much longer than you’d ever seen it before, a lock of it cascading over his shoulder and down to his waist. He was taller than you remembered, too, though you supposed he could’ve grown a bit between the age of eighteen and now. His face had lost the last of its boyish softness and in its place was the handsome, chiseled features of a confident young man. And those eyes— those sparkling periwinkle eyes you could’ve gotten lost in if he’d let you stare long enough— were no longer a set of two, but a single one, his right covered with a black eyepatch while the left seemed to gaze upon you apologetically, despite the unbothered, casual stature of his nonchalant stance leaning against the doors with his arms crossed over his chest, one ankle resting over the other.

Your mouth hung open with a million different words to say, the combinations of them endless, but all you could taste was the frantic beating of your heart in your throat, any of the excited reliefs or bitter resentments stirring together in your brain becoming indistinguishable.

Your face suddenly felt too warm, the summer’s refreshing evening atmosphere turning to a stifling humidity as your nerves made it harder to breathe. Your dizziness only increased as Kaeya’s ghost drifted closer, the revenant of your love striding slowly towards you while he continued to speak.

“How long have you been back in the city?” you thought you heard him say, but couldn’t be too sure as your ears were ringing, blood rushing at an alarming rate to your head, vision swaying as you gripped the iron railing of the balcony in a white-knuckled fist behind you. “I would’ve been at the gates to greet you, had I known. I mean, not that you wanted to see me, I just—”

“I’ve been studying in Liyue,” you cut in, only a slight tremble in your voice as you wore a look closer to anger than disbelief now. You cleared your throat, took a steadying breath, then continued, “I’m only back for the summer— for a research project— then I’ll be going back…”

A hint of sadness crossed Kaeya’s face, there and then gone like a cloud of breath fogging in the winter air, and then he grinned at you again, congratulating you on making it into such a prestigious school. “We always knew you were smart,” he remarked, clinking the nearly empty bottle in his hand with a half full one that had been left on the balcony railing, assuming it was yours, cheersing with a stranger’s abandoned drink. He leaned against the railing, his shoulder only inches from yours yet feeling like a world away. He winked and jokingly said, “By the way, next time you see Morax, tell him I said hello.”

Kaeya tipped the final swig of his drink back to his lips, downing the contents and only wincing a little as he swallowed, letting out a quiet exhale as he turned his attention back out to the city he’d continued to make a home out of— the very place you’d been desperate to escape yet now found yourself a willing prisoner in once more.

And the silence that fell over you both then was suffocating. You wanted to say something— anything— so that the final words shared between you two weren’t, “Next time you see Morax, tell him I said hello.”

This could truly be the last chance you got to interact with him. You wanted to take control while you still had a drop of it in your hands, so you dug up some rare bits of courage, cleared the last of the dread from your throat, and asked him, “Why didn’t you try to find me?”

When you and Kaeya met eyes again, both your stares were wide. To be fair, that hadn’t really been what you’d meant to ask. You’d intended to start out with something much less heavy and accusatory like, “So, what have you been up to?” or “I’ve heard you’ve risen up the ranks. What would the Knights of Favonius think if they knew what a little terror their Cavalry Captain had been growing up?”

Anything that brought the rose before the thorn, feeding him soothing honey before you offered up the bitter pill.

But it was too late. The words that had just left your mouth couldn’t be taken back, and the way Kaeya looked at you now made your next breath catch. Because you’d just ruined everything, hadn’t you? You’d been given one last chance and you’d wasted it. And it was all your fault, all your fault, all your fault.

Kaeya let out a small, sad puff of a laugh under his breath, his smirk struggling to stay steady on his lips, and the fear that he’d morph to hate you only grew in your chest, a hungry monster clawing to break free from your ribs, tear through your body, and devour its host mercilessly.

“I suppose I could ask you the same thing,” he responded with a half shrug, swishing his bangs away from his face, exposing more of the eyepatch he used to cover the evidence of some injury hidden underneath.

You felt a stab in your chest when you considered that he could’ve gotten it after his fight with Diluc, the image of the boys who’d basically been your brothers purposely hurting each other beyond repair breaking your heart.

Kaeya sighed then, flashing a sliver of a sly smirk before the expression turned back to being apologetic, concluding his prior statement with, “Though, I think I have a pretty good idea…”

You still couldn’t quite believe that he was standing before you, standing this close, so much the same yet so much so different all at once. You just wanted to look at him, stare at him until the deep emptiness you’d felt for the past four years filled up with the memories of what could’ve been and overflowed.

“You have a right to be mad at me, y’know…” Kaeya continued, hanging his head a bit and unable to look at you as his mouth curved up into a crooked, nervous smile. “If I were you, I’d be mad at me…”

You remembered the time you two were sixteen and had snuck out to the city at night. It was the first time you’d gone unsupervised and the light that glowed from the tavern windows was like a beacon to your first taste of true teenage freedom.

It had been Kaeya’s idea to check out the bar, of course, and even as you protested and told him you’d never get away with it, that he was too recognizable and you looked too young, you had a giddy grin spread across your face, lacing your arm to interlock with his as the two of you approached the humble little establishment.

“The place is packed,” Kaeya had tried to convince you as you both surveyed the crowd inside through the latticed windows. “We’ll just duck in, check it out, maybe find someone willing to buy us a drink, and then be home before anyone even knows we’re gone.”

Right before he’d reached out to open the door for you, you giggled and playfully pulled him back. When he gave you a confused glance you shook your head and said, “If we get caught and have to make a run for it, don’t expect me to wait for you.”

Kaeya’s smile was soft and serene for a moment, as if he found your every man for himself mentality endearing somehow, but then he cracked another one of those signature smirks. “Whatever you say,” he scoffed. “Just remember that I’m a faster runner than you are.”

In the end, you two had been able to convince someone to buy a drink for you— well, technically, they just ordered. Kaeya had bribed them with enough money for a pint for you, him, and an additional round for your willing participant and their small group of friends— and you’d even danced together among the cramped crowd when the band began to play an upbeat jig of a tune. The night had been mischievous, magical, and probably the most fun you’d had in a long time.

Until it wasn’t.

Because Kaeya got a little too tipsy, swearing he could handle a second round, a third, a fourth— swearing that he drank all the time and had the tolerance for it— and then started to get sloppy.

You couldn’t have been gone for more than two minutes, pushing your way to the bar counter to retrieve some water in hopes of remedying Kaeya’s spinning vision, but when you returned to where you’d left him on the edge of the dancefloor, you nearly dropped the full glasses and let them shatter all over the creaky, wooden floors.

Because, although his back was to you, you knew exactly what Kaeya was doing with the girl you’d noticed who’d been giving him doe-eyes all night. Her hand was twined through his silky hair, their lips too close to merely be talking, and when he put his hand on her hip to shift her slightly to the side, you saw head on just how deeply he’d been kissing her.

Back then, you’d been more than mad.

You’d been absolutely furious, blinded by your jealousy and longing and all those complicated, messy feelings you kept contained for the sake of ensuring things between you two were stable.

You’d slammed the glasses on the nearest table, water sloshing over the brims and nearly hitting the chatting patrons standing off to the side— who shot you scathing looks as they stepped away from the puddle that was forming as the liquid dripped off the edge of the furniture— wetting the floor by their feet. Then you’d stormed out, not caring if Kaeya followed you or spent all night trading saliva with some random stranger.

Or, at least, that’s what you’d tried to tell yourself.

Truth was, you’d started crying before the door of the tavern finished closing behind you and then you’d nearly collapsed in the next alley you came across, pressing your hand to your mouth as if that could contain all the sobs that were trying to barrel out, shakily steadying yourself against the cold brick wall and feeling like you were going to be sick.

Less than a minute later though, Kaeya caught up with you, having followed you out the moment he caught a glimpse of your silhouette rushing out the front doors, and immediately began trying to explain what had really happened through heavily slurred words and stumbling strides.

“I swear— She just came onto me! I told ‘er I was drunk— told ‘er I was with somebody but she wouldn’t listen—!” He’d stammered, all the while you stared him down like a wounded animal ready to strike if he got too close, all scrunch-nosed and sharp-glared, jaw clenched and breathing heavily.

You’d wanted to hit him. To scream that you loved him— you did— not some girl who didn’t even know his name or the types of sweets he snuck from the manor kitchen or his favorite shapes found among the stars. You wanted to go home. You wanted to curl up in bed beside him like you did when you were little and still scared of the dark. You wanted him. You wanted him to want you too.

“Just take me home!” You’d cut him off, marching past him out of the alley and back onto the main streets, the cobblestones feeling much more unsteady than you remembered them before.

So, yeah. Back then, you’d been mad. You’d gotten over it eventually, really heard him out and decided to accept his apology the following day when you both were sober and weighed down with the regret that bad decisions tended to leave behind.

But now, when Kaeya acted like four years of silence was worth the same as some one-off, instantaneous occurrence you’d gone through as immature teenagers…

You felt more hollow than anything, similar to the way tossing and turning through several sleepless, anxious nights left you with the sense that you were no longer a living, breathing girl but a ghost searching for the end of its own haunting, the world moving too fast around you as you drifted along and your thoughts rolled lazily through your mind, too exhausted to be bothered anymore.

“I was trying to give you space,” you admitted with a defeated sigh, draping yourself further over the railing to match his forlorn posture. “After everything that happened, I just thought…” 

It came back in quick flashes— Diluc’s scathing, scornful words upon delivering the news of his father’s death and how you’d choked on your tears and sorrow as you rode back home through the woods and the smudged peacock feather used to sign off Kaeya’s final letter to you…

Then you looked over at him and admitted, “I thought you’d come back when you were ready. But the more time that went by…”

Kaeya met your gaze. You still weren’t over the initial shock of the eyepatch. You might never be, if you even got another chance to see him. You looked away again. Holding his stare for too long was like staring into the sun. It left his image burned into your vision even when you closed your eyes and made you ask yourself why you’d taken the risk to steal a glance in the first place. “I dunno… I guess I just thought you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.”

His hand was laying itself over yours on the railing now, a hand you’d seen in nearly every stage of its development— the small, clumsy grasp of a six-year-old as he’d fumbled with little knick-knacks given to him by one of the servants so he wouldn’t have to fight with Diluc over toys— the mischievous fiddling of a curious ten-year-old trying to pick the lock of his father’s home office just to see what lay beyond the heavy wooden doors— the awkward, lanky fingers of a thirteen-year-old learning to grow into the first stages of his adolescent body, how he used to nervously fidget with the sapphire newly pierced through his left ear when he was telling you some story he hoped would impress you— the sure, swift strength of a seventeen-year-old who caught your wrist as you’d tripped over your own feet while walking through the woods, helping you back up and no longer attempting to hide how much he liked seeing you blush upon receiving even the simplest of touches from him.

Now, being in his early twenties, Kaeya’s hands were slender and a little scuffed, knuckles scratched from sparring matches among the Knights and a callus on his middle finger from writing one too many reports, sending messages between nations when the Acting Grand Master became too busy with her end of foreign relations and he had to pick up the slack.

But even so, they were beautiful— nails manicured and skin still soft enough to prove that, despite his title, Kaeya wasn’t in the habit of working too hard.

“There is nothing—” Kaeya began, voice stern and reassuring, “Nothing— that you could ever do that would make me want nothing to do with you.” You could read the guilt scribbled across his face, biting your tongue as you felt the threat of tears prinkling in the back of your nose, a lump forming in your throat that you tried to swallow. “It was never my intention to cut you off…”

Kaeya gave your hand a light squeeze, the small pressure enough to burst the dam sealed off behind your eyes, causing your vision to become blurred as four years worth of uncertainty and sadness sparkled on the rim of your gaze.

“Then why—” you croaked, voice cracking as the tears spilled over, clumping your bottom lashes together in watery spikes, pair after pair of sparkling sorrow racing down your cheeks to meet under your chin. Kaeya didn’t let go of your hand as you began to cry. He only held on a little tighter, lacing his fingers together with yours and making a stifled sob slip past your lips.

“I just thought that you’d be upset with me— that you’d blame me. I mean…” he tried to explain, gently wiping away your next round of tears with the pad of his thumb, tracing a soft line across the apple of your cheek. “You grew up with Diluc, too. I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position with having to pick a side but, well…” Kaeya cracked another one of those apologetic smiles and suddenly you became overwhelmed with the urge to bury your face in his chest, to just let him hold you until you felt whole again. “I guess it’s too late for that.”

You just couldn’t stop crying, the slow drip of a leaking faucet suddenly becoming a pipe burst beyond repair.

Because you’d spent the last four years worrying Kaeya hated you for nothing.

All that pain, all that blame, pent up and pushed down over and over and over again until the glass bottle was ready to crack and splinter and shatter into a million shards of glittering glass dust…

It all seemed to be remedied the moment Kaeya wrapped both his long, lean arms around you, pulling you into his chest and running a hand through your hair, combing his fingers through the tangles created by the summer wind and soothing you with a quiet, whispered coo of, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

You could barely get the words out as you nuzzled your face into his shoulder, shaking your head in miniscule motions as you muttered out a pathetic sounding, “S’ok… I never blamed you—” A hiccuped sob interrupted your forgiveness, but your tears were starting to slow, the deep well they’d collected in nearly running dry. “I don’t even think Diluc blamed you… Not for what happened to—”

“It’s ok,” Kaeya cut in, the blade of his voice sharper than before but dulling by the second, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “It’s ok. Even if he does, that’s not your fault.”

“I know, I just—” One last shuddering exhale before you collected yourself, making the foolish mistake to stare directly back up into the bright star of his one-eyed gaze, though this time you didn’t care if it blinded you. You wouldn’t look away. “I just wish things could’ve ended up differently… For all of us.”

All the times you and Kaeya had caught a shooting star arching across the night sky during one of your celestial rooftop escapades, how many times had you wished for things to stay just as they had been?

How many times had you wished the sun would never rise, that the night would stretch across Teyvat’s vast horizon for the rest of eternity so you and Kaeya could stay laying side by side, hands clasped between you while your free fingers pointed out all kinds of animals and imaginary heroes in the tangled constellations?

Not enough times, apparently. And now it was too late. You could barely even make out the peacock anymore, too many misty clouds drifting in to veil the moon. But there was one thing you knew for certain, and that was, even if you couldn’t go back and rewrite the events of your lives so that you’d never have to spend even a single day apart wondering where in the world the other could’ve gone, you would do anything to not lose Kaeya again. Even if it was just ink and parchment keeping you two connected across cities— across nations— you would take up the pen again and again until you received another eyespot feather in the vibrant teal or aquamarine or violet Kaeya liked to sign his letters with.

“I know…” Kaeya mumbled, resisting the urge to press a chaste kiss to the crown of your head. But then he was pulling back from you, just enough so you could see the flicker of appraising charm forcing itself over his features, and said with a hint of those sly undertones that usually spelled some mix of trouble and fun, “But, you know, while you’re here, I’m sure we have quite the bit of catching up to do. How long are you in Mondstadt, anyhow?”

You blinked away the remaining film of tears glossing over your eyes, gave a weak sniffle, and replied, “Till the end of summer…”

You could tell the grin Kaeya wore next was a real one, not just adopted in the moment for your sake, and after smoothing down your hair and using the edge of his glove to wipe away the last of the salt streaking your face, he said, “Well then… I guess we have a lot of lost time to make up for until then.”

†††

Standing by the fountain in the Mondstadt square, the hiss of flowing water and whistle of the summer breeze creating an intertwining melody over the cobblestone streets, you took your first deep breath in what felt like years.

Well, in some ways, it was. And even though you’d waited this long to reconcile with your childhood friend, it was funny how long a week could feel when you’d spent literal years waiting for something you thought might never come.

But, seeing Kaeya approaching you now, it almost made it feel like no time had passed at all.

Because he was giving you that charming, mischievous smile, tossing up a coin and catching it, the glint of shimmering gold flying higher and higher above his head with every new throw, and making your heart flutter with every step closer to you he took.

“I haven’t kept you waiting long, I hope?” Kaeya’s question lilted with melodic smoothness, stopping before you with the gold Mora coin pinched between his fingers.

You smiled, shook your head, and replied, “Not at all. Plus,” you winked, leaning in a little closer as if telling a secret, your past self returning to you for a moment, the way you’d often become absorbed in Kaeya’s own scheming behavior if you spent a little too much time around him, “if you would’ve kept me waiting, I still remember the way to all your favorite taverns.”

Kaeya looked surprised for a moment, then softened as a giggle bubbled past his lips, his shoulders shaking with mirth. “Well, in that case…” He held his arm out to you, his elbow bent so you could loop your arm with his, and as soon as you took the invitation, he began to walk with you. “I guess we should get going before I end up passed out drunk in an alley somewhere.”

And things seemed perfect as you two strolled along under a clear, sunny sky— almost too good to be true. And wasn’t it always when you were blinded by joy that the parasites of doubt began to gnaw at your insides? To burrow their way deeper into your heart and inject poison into your veins?

Because, even as Kaeya complained about working for the Knights and rambled on about the best new bakery in town, the smile that had sat so easy and natural on your face slowly began to become strained, forced.

Because this, too, would end.

This moment, right here, right now, with him…

It would all become a memory once you returned to Liyue, faded and frayed around the edges the more time you spent away.

“—But you’ll just have to wait to try it once we get there.”

You blinked back into reality, glancing up at Kaeya with minor confusion and asking, “What? Get where?”

Kaeya smirked, finding pleasure in keeping you at least a little in the dark, so long as the end result would make you smile. “Heh… Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” he teased, giving your shoulder a soft nudge with his own.

“No fair…” you lightly protested, puffing out a weak chuckle. Then you said, “You really haven’t changed, y’know. You used to keep secrets from me all the time when we were kids…” Now it was your turn to nudge him, harder than he’d nudged you, and soon you found yourself wearing a devious expression as you remarked, “You’re such a bully!”

“Am not!” Kaeya defended, laughing as he knocked some more of his weight into you and nearly caused you both to topple over. “Besides, it’s not keeping secrets! It’s surprising you.” He stuck his nose up in the air, going from goofy to regal in two seconds flat, another habit of his you remembered from back in the day.

It used to drive you crazy, how easily he could recover from a fit of laughter or straighten his posture after scrambling away from one of his schemes— how you’d always be the one to give things away because you could never compose yourself on command like that— but now, you found it endearing. It was unexpectedly familiar. Comforting. It helped settle all the doubts swimming around inside of you for a bit, at least.

“Oh, c’mon!” You begged playfully, pouting and pulling on his arm. “Just tell me!”

“Seems you haven’t changed much either.” Kaeya lowered his voice to something a little more serious, some melancholy longing slipping through. When you gazed up at him that time, you saw the shift with your own two eyes, the way he looked so pained one second only to mask it with playfulness the next. He reached over and pinched your ear with his free hand and declared through a chuckle, “You never were the most patient!”

“Hey!” You scolded through a poorly concealed laugh, swatting him away. “That’s not fair when you were always telling me things like ‘you’ll see’!” You mocked the quote in a deeper voice, as if it sounded anything like the warm, smooth, honey-sweet tone of Kaeya’s vocals. “Admit it! You liked to torture me with the suspense!”

Then you were both laughing, stumbling down the streets with your arms still interlocked as you reflected on a few more fond memories from your childhoods together. You unearthed stories he’d nearly forgotten while Kaeya teased you about embarrassing moments you wished he would forget.

But then the mood began to wither, all the petals of your bright, blooming banter plucked from the flower of your childhoods one by one until all that was left was the thorny stem.

“I’m sorry…” you apologized, trying to swallow the uncomfortable lump forming in your throat. “For what happened— to your family and to you. I’m just… I’m sorry. I should’ve—”

“Don’t—” Kaeya cut in, his voice quiet. Fragile. Like a star made of blown glass. Yet still his words contained the power to draw blood if the shattered shards were touched. His throat bobbed with a particularly hard swallow— he wanted to spare you his tears— and after clearing his throat, he concluded with, “It’s fine.”

“But I—”

“It’s not your fault!” Kaeya snapped, raising his voice over yours, then immediately kicked himself, sighing out a frustrated exhale before remedying his outburst with a kinder, “It’s not your fault, ok? It’s just…” He hesitated, searching for the right words to say. Then he shrugged, grasping your hand and giving it a slight squeeze. “It’s just the way things turned out.”

You realized then, as Kaeya forced himself to give you a smile, how you must look when you tried to fake the same emotions to him.

No matter how hard either of you tried to hide your feelings, to keep secrets, to lie…

The other would always know.

It was a part of your relationship that had never had its sharp edge dulled, never lost the saturation of its vivid color.

It was a side effect of being connected by the stars, the irony that the celestial plane had placed upon two soulmates.

So, if you couldn’t lie, the next best thing was to create a new truth.

You squeezed Kaeya’s hand back, gave him a crooked grin, and said, “Maybe we’ve both been holding onto the past… Maybe, even just for today, we should focus on the present.”

The curl of Kaeya’s palm around yours felt like coming home. Because, though Kaeya’s hands had changed from the last time you’d touched them— gotten bigger, stronger, colder— they still held onto you like you were something he wanted to protect.

“C’mon…” Kaeya nodded towards a nearby alley, the vaguely familiar crookedness of it sending a flash of a spontaneous escape route while trying to evade your chaperone through your memory. “For old times’ sake… Plus…” You started down the narrow alley with him, the sounds of both your laughter and shouts echoing through your brain like the ghosts you’d almost forgotten as your feet tapped over the cracked cobblestones. “This is the shortcut to the scenic route.”

†††

The romantic little row boat rocked upon gentle waves at the end of the dock, waiting for you and Kaeya to board it and drift out to one of the private islands in the middle of Cider Lake.

There was a picnic waiting for you there when you arrived and he’d packed all of your old favorites along with some new treats from that bakery he’d been trying to tell you about earlier. You could tell how much care he’d put into preparing it and found yourself a little taken aback considering this was your first real time together since reconnecting.

You know, aside from when you sobbed into his shoulder on the balcony of the Angel’s Share.

So, as you two enjoyed lunch together, talking and laughing and catching up, you did, for once, allow yourself to enjoy the present.

However, as the sun arched across the sky and the first golds and lilacs of sunset began to blush the horizon, the energy started to shift. Not necessarily in a bad way, but more so in a bittersweet way. Because you two could’ve shared so many more smiles, stories, touches, and tender gazes if only you hadn’t been separated by time.

If only, if only, if only, if only…

If only you’d allowed yourself to fall for him sooner.

If only you’d been brave enough to tell him how you’d really felt.

If only he would’ve told you how he really felt.

If only one of you would’ve reached out during all that time.

If only.

“What…?” you asked in a dream-like daze, laying out on your stomach across from Kaeya on the picnic blanket and gazing into his periwinkle eyes— well, the one that was left visible to you, at least.

You were still getting used to that, but the more you looked at him, the more you thought the eyepatch suited him. You could already imagine all the outrageous stories he’d made up when people asked him why he wore it or what was underneath. It made another tired giggle hum in your chest.

“Nothing…” Kaeya stalled, caught in the same dreamy state as you, his eye tracing all the features of your face. Unlike him, you still looked the same. Just a little bit older, a little more tired on account of all the late nights this current research project was demanding from you, your hair a little different, but your eyes and your smile…

To him, those would always be just like he remembered.

“It’s something…” Your voice was nearly a whisper, only speaking loud enough to be heard over the breeze, your feet kicking lazily behind you, Kaeya’s face only inches from yours. You outstretched one arm, lowered your head to rest your cheek on your shoulder, and stared up at him through your lashes. “You can’t lie to me…” You reminded him with a sated smile. “I always know.”

Kaeya let out a breathy chuckle, mimicking your relaxed posture and allowing himself to sink closer to the earth, the plush grass underneath felt through the blue and white checkered picnic blanket. He placed his hand on top of yours, gently rubbing his thumb along your soft skin, his voice growing even quieter, as if admitting what he was about to say next too loudly would wake him from the serene dream he was starting to believe this was.

He said, “It’s a secret,” which only made you roll your eyes and let out a cynical sigh, pushing off from the ground to sit back up, Kaeya following suit.

“Fine then,” you teased, nose up in the air as you shot him a playfully devious side glance, trying to hide a smile. “Don’t tell me. I’ll figure it out on my own sooner or later.”

Kaeya chuckled. “Oh, you will, will you?”

“Of course I will,” you continued, now absentmindedly playing with a stray thread on the hem of one of the quilted stitches. “And even if I don’t, you’ll tell me eventually. You can’t stand to be the only one in on something.”

Kaeya let out a hearty laugh, one that made you wish you could spend every day like this, with him, skirting on the edge of arguments and making harmless jokes and pulling on each other’s strings in just the right ways.

Just the way you used to.

Just the way you used to…

“Well which is it?” Kaeya continued to tease. “Do you want to figure it out on your own or do you want me to tell you?”

You picked up one of the lingering blueberries left in the basket and tossed it at him. “I want you to tell me.” You grinned as Kaeya caught it, tossing it back at you only for it to bounce away into the grass somewhere.

“Alright then,” Kaeya finally yielded with a resolute nod. “But you’ll have to come closer. It is a secret, after all.”

You scooted closer, leaning in with one ear as if you really expected him to whisper it to you. But then, after his silence stretched on for one moment too long, you looked back to him, your faces closer than they’d been since you two had snuggled up in his bed on a stormy night as children.

You felt your breath catch, unable to tear your stare away from his eye as if all the secrets of the universe were contained within that small pool of periwinkle, and as Kaeya’s hand reached forward to gently cup your cheek, weaving his fingers into your hair, you closed your eyes.

How long had you waited for this? Wanted this? Dreamt of it?

How many nights had you mourned a kiss that would never come as you stared over all the glittering lights that shimmered along every path in Liyue, wondering if you’d ever come close to feeling the way you’d felt about Kaeya with anyone else?

As his lips touched yours, everything else faded away— all the fear and the doubt and the past and the future.

There was only right here, right now, as if this single moment was all you’d ever lived in, all you’d ever known.

And Kaeya was so tender with you, so gentle and caring. Considering how long he’d also been waiting for this, wanting it, dreaming of it, it was a miracle he hadn’t ruined the moment and kissed you the very second you two stepped off the boat and onto the grassy shore, not stopping until it got so late that someone else sailed out searching for the missing Cavalry Captain.

The moment he broke away, the eternal bliss that had just filled you was stolen quicker than a wave pulling back from the shore, and you wove your fingers through his hair, using that as an anchor to keep you two close, tugging him in a little to press your forehead against his, any kind of contact that would make you feel like that wasn’t the first and the last, a silent pleading to hold on and never let go.

“Sorry…” Kaeya nervously whispered through a crooked smile, his eyes closed and careful hand moving to rest on the back of your neck, not wanting to let go either.

In return, you whispered, “Sorry for what?”

Kaeya let out a shuddering sigh, reluctantly pulled away a few inches so he could look you in the eyes. He searched your face for something— some kind of anger or sorrow or hesitation— anything to make the fact that you couldn’t stay easier on him.

But all he could scavenge from your loving, gentle expression was that none of this was ever meant to be easy. Because easy things were fleeting.

It was the hard things— the things you fought for— that ended up sticking around the longest.

It was the things you decided to grab and hold onto even through the thrashing and the clawing and whatever other odds that tried to cause you to give up and let go that you could truly call your own.

So he kissed you again, this time with a little more urgency, a little more passion, as if that was the only response that could accurately express whatever answer he could’ve spoken with words.

He was right when he’d said you two had a lot of lost time to make up for.

This seemed like a good place to start.

†††

Over the coming weeks, the city of Mondstadt had never seemed so small to you before in your entire life.

The once uncharted and mysterious alleys that winded between the buildings were now secret passageways and shortcuts to you. The rising levels of brick and stone that loomed and casted shadows big enough to swallow you whole were now a view of Kaeya’s office from the headquarters of the Knights or the windows of some foreign leader’s favorite hotel suite.

Because, despite the fact the city still may have looked the same on the surface, much had changed in the years you’d been away. Kaeya thought he ought to catch you up, maybe make a guessing game out of it while he was at it too.

“Let’s see…” you pondered, gazing up at some luxury apartment in the distance he’d pointed out to you. “It has a pretty good view, so it must be expensive, aside from its upper level location…” You’d already guessed the vacation homes of Fontaine politicians and Snezhnayan royals, Inazuma CEOs and wealthy Liyue traders. Kaeya had made you guess the residency of someone prominent from nearly every nation in Teyvat at one point or another with the exception of one you should’ve found most obvious in this case. “Wait, don’t tell me… It’s someone from Mondstadt, isn’t it?”

Kaeya gave a smile and a nod, keeping his lips sealed though seeming to struggle the more and more he could sense your wheels turning.

“It’s someone you know personally, isn’t it?” you asked next.

To that, Kaeya gave a conflicted shrug and replied, “I suppose you could say that, yes.”

“It’s the Grand Master of the Knights then— Or maybe the Acting Grand Master?” The two of you continued your lazy stroll through the streets, your hands clasped and on your way to a lunch reservation, which you were going to be late for if this particular game dragged on for much longer.

“Hmm… Close,” Kaeya hinted, and you perked up for a second. Then he said, “But not quite,” and you deflated back into a silent, pouting frustration.

“I give up then,” you resigned, trying to bait him into telling you.

Kaeya gave you a nudge. “No, c’mon, you know it.”

“Archons know what kinds of company you’ve kept over these past four years,” you sarcastically teased. “How am I supposed to guess when I haven’t even met a single one of your friends?”

Kaeya chuckled, amused, only becoming even more so when you frowned and asked him what was so funny. “You know him,” he hinted. That earned him a look caught between confusion and annoyance. “Just think,” he tried to encourage. “If it’s someone that you know, who I also— technically— know, and they’re from this nation…” The pride that settled over his features the moment he saw your eyes light up with the answer was enough to tell you you were right before you even said it.

“No—!” You exclaimed in hushed disbelief, staring at him wide-eyed as if waiting for him to admit he was just messing with you. You glanced from him back to the gilded ivory of the luxury complex then back to him. “So you mean this entire time you were hiding out in some high-rise palace?!” You let out a scoff of incredulous laughter, feeling both slighted and relieved. “And to think,” you added with a certain air of forced pretentiousness as you eyed him slyly, “all these years I was worried you were shivering in a shack somewhere.”

Kaeya let out another burst of laughter and a dramatic response of, “I shiver just imagining living in a shack. You think I would’ve ever allowed myself to end up in such a place?”

The remaining way to the restaurant and throughout the entire afternoon meal as well, the two of you traded more banter and flirtatious glances.

You’d found yourself becoming more comfortable with being on the receiving end of Kaeya’s playful quips or the naughty suggestions he’d whisper in your ear when you two found yourselves nestled within a crowd, always taking pleasure in how flustered you’d become while he remained cool and calm in that easy, calculated way of his, the only evidence of his comment being that sly smirk spread across his lips.

Kaeya was determined to make the most of his time with you— he hadn’t gone to the trouble of rearranging his entire work schedule to match your research hours for nothing. So, at every given chance he would take you out. He’d plan a special surprise. Sometimes, you two would just spend the entire day talking, hours passing like minutes. If you weren’t submerged in research, you were out on the town with what Fenhua and Haoyu had started referring to as your “mysterious suitor”.

As soon as the sky grew dark with the lilacs and violets of night, Kaeya would walk you back home to the quaint little living space you shared with your other two classmates, kissing you on the hand and wishing you a good night and the sweetest of dreams whilst Haoyu and Fenhua watched from the window (less than subtly, you’d noticed on more occasions than not) and began to conjure up a new round of questions and curiosities about who the handsome, one-eyed gentleman really was to you.

Not to mention, how you’d had any time whatsoever to begin a courtship amidst the busy work schedule this research project was trapping you all in.

“So who is he?” Haoyu asked first, unable to contain his nosiness, however harmless it usually was.

“Yeah, and where’d you two meet?” Fenhua would jump in, both of them trailing along behind you as you attempted to retreat to your room to unload your things and take a breather.

“Is he a Knight? I heard you should watch out around those guys,” Haoyu warned. “They get bored with the girls from their own city and latch onto any new face they meet.”

“Oh, but he’s so dreamy, isn’t he?” Fenhua sighed, throwing herself to lay across the end of your bed while you kicked off your shoes and tried to suppress an amused smile. “And don’t listen to Haoyu. I mean, sure, maybe some of the Knights who are on the prowl are a little promiscuous, but if you end up changing your mind about the one you managed to lure in…” She gave you a cheeky wink accompanied by a sly smirk. “Feel free to send him my way.”

Haoyu sat on the other side of Fenhua, rolling his eyes at her and handing you the glass of water you’d left out that morning as you went to reach for it, continuing as you took a sip, “I mean, I’m not trying to sound like I’m—”

“What? Jealous?” Fenhua cut in with a giggle, earning her a sharp nudge in the shoulder from Haoyu.

“What I was trying to say—” Haoyu began again, shaking his head and smirking at his mischievous friend before looking back to you, “—is that I’m not trying to sound like I don’t trust your judgment. It’s just, well… You’ve always been like a little sister to us. We’re protective over you. And you’re so shy most of the time, especially around new people…” Fenhua sat up, taking a slightly more serious stance alongside Haoyu now, nodding along as he spoke. “I’m just wondering why you’ve caught his attention— I mean,” he anxiously remedied, “Ok, that sounded bad. I’m just worried that guy has ulterior motives, know what I mean?”

You set the now empty glass on the bedside table, looking to both your friends with a sense of gratitude, but also a slight twinge of guilt. “Guys,” you began, “I appreciate you always looking out for me, but I didn’t just meet Kaeya.” You paused for a moment, trying to decipher the puzzled looks exchanged between both your friends. “We knew each other when we were kids,” you then clarified, both Haoyu and Fenhua giving a synchronized “oooohh…” of understanding.

You filled them in, explained how you grew up together, pretty much all the way until you were eighteen, but lost touch right before you left to attend university in Liyue.

“We haven’t seen each other in a long time so…” you shrugged, your bashful smile giving you away. “We’ve just been catching up.”

And so came more questions from the two of them, naturally, but as you answered this time— in the moments they both stopped trying to speak over each other and actually lent you a small space of silence to try and address one of their many inquiries— you found yourself being careful about which truths you divulged to them and which ones you wanted to keep for yourself.

Because while the memories of your childhood might’ve been up for grabs when it came to what you were willing to expose, the more intimate details of the recent developments of you and Kaeya’s relationship were under lock and key.

Almost all of your alone time— and, if you were being honest, most of the time meant to be dedicated to your research— was spent thinking about him if you weren’t seeing him. It was spent replaying all the times over these past weeks that Kaeya had held your hand, put his arm around you, pulled you in close, held your face in his palms as you gazed up at him lovingly, kissed you…

Even things that hadn’t yet happened, but you’d very much like to try, if the occasion so arised.

“But you guys have gotta be more than friends, right?” Fenhua pushed, giving you a half-lidded look as if to say, give it up. “I mean, I’ve seen you two walking arm in arm when he drops you off. The guy has kissed your hand—!” She was gesturing wildly now, nearly hitting Haoyu in the face a few times and making him flinch. “We may not be from this city but you can’t tell me that all Mondstadter’s express friendship like that, I mean…”

You admitted that, growing up, Kaeya would harmlessly flirt with you all the time. When asked what you’d do in response, you simply said you’d just scoff and brush him off, tell him to stop teasing, which wasn’t a complete lie. The fact that you were leaving out how you wished he’d just be direct and stop keeping you guessing all the time so you could finally know if you two were more than just friends didn’t make what you’d told them any less true.

“Ok, but did you ever consider,” Haoyu raised, “that maybe he was doing all of that back then because he actually did like you?”

Yes, you thought to yourself, a million times, yes.

But, even now, that made the distance you’d just finally gotten a chance to close all the more painful.

If Kaeya had had feelings for you— those kinds of feelings— all along…

How could he have let you go like that?

“Well of course he liked her,” Fenhua stated like it was the most obvious fact in the world. She threw her arm around you, pulling you in for a side hug and saying with a warm smile, “What’s not to like?”

And so the three of you sat around on your bed talking and teasing each other for much later than any of you had intended, given you had an early start to tomorrow’s work. But for as much as you’d smiled and giggled at all their speculations, by the time you were alone in your bed again, all of that doubt started creeping back in.

Because your time was ticking down every single week, every single day, and soon, every single hour before you had to leave this little bubble of bliss you’d accidentally discovered and return to Liyue.

You couldn’t just skip out on your final year of university to chase some guy, even if that guy was Kaeya Alberich— not when you’d worked so hard to get this far.

And so a war began to rage inside your mind, a constant push and pull of leave, stay, leave, stay, leave, stay colliding every time you tried to focus on your work only to be distracted with intrusive thoughts like how many more times would you and Kaeya get to kiss before you couldn’t anymore?

How many more times would you get to hold his hand, liking the way his cool palms helped stave off the season’s heat as you strolled through the square?

How many more times would you have the chance to memorize the exact shade of periwinkle that glittered in his eyes?

How much sooner and how much longer could you have been able to learn and appreciate these kinds of experiences with him if only things had turned out different?

The dread and regret could eat you alive, if you let it, but eventually, after much tossing and turning, you’d fall asleep. 

Some nights, you’d have pleasant dreams, others, vicious nightmares. But by the time you woke up, you’d only be left with one thought, one feeling.

And that was that you didn’t want to leave Kaeya— not for another year or another month or another day. But this version of reality you were currently living couldn’t last forever. You both had your own paths, your own lives and goals and dreams.

It was unfair to choose. Cruel to choose.

It was a painful reminder that to love was to suffer, one way or another.

At least, you thought, this time you wouldn’t be suffering alone.

†††

With summer on its deathbed, so was the stress of completing your research in Mondstadt.

You were relieved to have finished on time, to have all those early mornings, hectic afternoons, and sleepless nights behind you. But that relief was merely the honey that came before the bitter pill you knew you’d have to force yourself to swallow.

Kaeya was better at masking it than you were, all his playful remarks and charming smiles working overtime to put you at ease and brighten your spirits. But, behind that disguise was a sense of loneliness.

Your grins were lonely too, every upturn of the corners of your mouth hosting a silent apology for something that wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Time was running out, Kaeya knew. He could hear it woven into your words and embroidered around the edges of your laughter. But despite the summer coming to an end, he was determined to make every day that you two had left together count.

He’d spent the last few weeks planning a most special surprise for the both of you to share.

“So you really aren’t gonna tell me this time…” you kept on pressing as you leaned closer into Kaeya’s side, both of you strolling along with your arms linked under a sunset sky. “Are you?” Velvety lilacs bled into the sky more and more with every hill you climbed, chasing away the soft blues and pale golds of daylight’s final moments.

Kaeya chuckled, shook his head, and replied, “Nope. You’re just gonna have to wait and see.”

The two of you had left the city, the walls that still held the ghosts of so many childhood memories growing smaller in the distance every time you peaked behind you. 

“Well, can you at least tell me if we’re almost there?” you asked a little while later, part of you starting to wonder if he was playing a trick on you.

“Hmm… I could…” Kaeya teased, pretending to weigh his options. Then he flashed you a mischievous grin and said, “But I think it’s more fun to watch you squirm.” That earned him a jab in his ribs from your elbow, but your playful, otherwise painless assault only won you another chuckle from him. “Alright, alright,” Kaeya caved, slipping his arm around your waist and tugging you closer to his side. “We’re almost there.” He kissed the top of your head, his mischief softening to something a little more demure. “I promise it’ll be worth the wait.”

The remaining trek didn’t last long, thankfully for your giddy impatience, and as you reached the top of the final slope and took in the view, you sucked in a gasp.

“Kaeya!” you exclaimed, covering your mouth as if that would muffle your awe and excitement. “Don’t tell me— Is this really for us?”

Kaeya stood next to you, hands on his hips, looking rather pleased with himself as he surveyed the private campsite he’d set up for the two of you, a large tent with an open roof to view the stars placed across from a crackling bonfire, a case full of cold drinks and food you two could cook together doubling as a makeshift bench for the time being.

Kaeya pretended to scan the horizon, sweeping his gaze from one side of the cliff to the next as he shielded his eye from a sun no longer present. “Well, considering there’s no one else here…” he shrugged, sneaking you a wink and a playful side glance. Then, pulling you back in close to whisper in your ear he said, “Think you can still find our favorite constellation?”

And you were so happy in that moment that the reminder of your dwindling time left together was temporarily forgotten. You felt almost like you could cry, though this time for completely different reasons.

You were just taking everything in— the sight of the fire glowing through the dusk and the sound of nature’s ambient buzz and the feeling of longing, once starved, now being fed for the first time in years, swelling in your chest— so you didn’t even notice how long you’d remained silent, awe-struck, until you heard the nervous tremble in Kaeya’s next words.

“I mean, I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay the whole night here if you’re not comfortable…” he gently backpedaled, though where his hand rested on your hip didn’t waver. “I don’t want to assume—”

“Kaeya…” you cut him off, wanting to sound as sure about your answer as you felt, but the emotions flooding you made the end of his name quiver.

You cleared your throat, turned to better face him, and looked into his periwinkle eye, studied how it glittered so brilliantly even in the dark, like he held a galaxy within him, celestial and divine. Then you cupped his face in your hands, his skin cool against your summer-warmed palms, and said, “I have spent years waiting— hoping— for something like this. So please…”

Kaeya’s simmering apprehension turned to the still waters of relief as a fresh smile was cast upon you, offering you his hand the way he’d done so many times before, only this time, you knew the intention held much more weight than helping you up after a picnic in the glade or lending assistance dismounting a horse. He said, “Then, shall we?” and the yes that left your mouth held all the adoration that had been hibernating in your heart during those long, lonely years.

†††

As you and Kaeya sat huddled beside each other after the barbeque, nearly dozing off with bellies full and cravings for all your childhood favorites satisfied, a serene silence filled the place where laughter and conversation had previously been. You stared into the fire, once dancing, now dying, and swore you kept catching glimpses of memories long forgotten forming in the flames.

It made you miss Diluc too, in a strange way, wishing he could’ve been here to recount adolescent mischief and humorous anecdotes that were sure to cause him and Kaeya to bicker. But what had happened between the brothers was still a wound you didn’t dare dress. You doubted the bandage of your comfort was enough to heal such an injury, especially one that was likely already long scarred over, irreparable.

“Ah— Found it,” Kaeya finally spoke, breaking you from your bittersweet pondering. When you followed the line of his pointing finger, your gaze landed on that glittering group of familiar stars. As Kaeya leaned back to lay across the blanket beneath you two, he clasped his hands behind his neck and said through a dreamy sigh, “It’s been a while, old friend…”

After a moment, you lay back to join him. But that’s when the pang of regret and guilt you’d been trying so hard to avoid returned to poke its pointed edge in through your ribs, aiming for your fragile heart.

In a voice strained with tears soon to come, you said, “I have to go back to Liyue in less than a week…” To this, Kaeya merely turned his head to better look at you, that slight crinkle of elegant worry tugging at his brow. You blew out a deep, shuddering breath, hoping to compose yourself. “I just wish—” You swallowed, squeezed your eyes shut, then tried again. “I just wish we had more time.”

You couldn’t look at him. As much as you could feel his gaze studying you, as much as you wanted to glance over and learn those twitches in his expression, read his face over and over again like it was your favorite book, pages dog-eared and passages underlined and annotated with meticulous care, you couldn’t.

The moment you caught your reflection in all that shimmering periwinkle would be the last drop to burst the dam.

But Kaeya had never been much for flowing water. His area of expertise was freezing it, preserving it with frosted, crystalline beauty until such a time came when the heat of a flame or the shift to a warmer season caused his ice sculpture of love to melt.

“Hey, hey…” he cooed, flipping to his side, readying himself to comfort you. “This doesn’t have to be the end.” But you both knew it was more complicated than that. You both had obligations and responsibilities that would keep you apart, people who counted on you who you couldn’t abandon.

It seemed both of you had made a habit of abandoning yourselves, sacrificing what your hearts told you to be sacred and true all for the sake of opportunity or status.

“I’ll wait for you, y’know?” When he first said it, you could’ve sworn you hadn’t heard him right. Blinking back your misting sorrows, you choked out an uncertain, “What?” and when the boy you’d loved for so long, now a man who loved you right back, repeated the first four words of the loyal vow, well…

You didn’t have the strength to hold back your emotions anymore.

But Kaeya was smiling as he wiped your tears. He offered to help you find a position in Mondstadt once you graduated, if that was something you wanted. With his connections through the Knights, after all, he should be capable of pulling a few strings.

It was sort of overwhelming, hearing him ramble off his plans— plans that sounded like he’d already put quite some thought into them, actually— to make this work between you two. You weren’t giving a clear indication to whether or not you were on board with his efforts, but truth be told you were still recovering from being blindsided by his promise.

I’ll wait for you.

How long had he already been waiting?

The way he spoke now, so hopelessly sure of himself, made it seem like just as long as you had. When you finally forced yourself to meet his eyes, you thought it might’ve been even longer.

“Please—” Kaeya practically begged, taking both your hands in his, clasping them between the two of you as if they were a sacrosanct talisman he was praying upon, gracing the very Archons themselves. “I’ve already lost you once. Don’t make me lose you again…”

He’d been just as terrified as you back then, racing through the pouring rain on horseback, blood painting the right side of his face where his eye was matted shut with rusted red, hands numb with the newfound cold that laced its way through his bones— yet as he dashed from the scene, leaving the news of his second father’s death and the remnants of the battle against his brother behind him, what he thought of wasn’t the loss of the only family he’d probably ever be able to recall…

He thought of losing you.

He thought of the scared, sorrowful look you’d give him if you ever came to learn the full truth of that night, and it had torn him apart with every gallop his steed took further into the piney tangle of the woods.

So, finally able to utter a response, no matter how simple, you whispered, “Ok.”

“Ok?” he muttered, tasting the answer with his own tongue and then reveling in the sweetness of it. Pressing his forehead to yours, letting his eye fall shut and feeling his heartbeat drum a little less frantic, he whispered those two magic syllables once more, as if finally granting himself the right to reclaim something from his past that wasn’t marred by mystery or mourning, “Ok…”

Suddenly you felt a giggle bubbling up in your chest, finding it ironic that you now felt the need to comfort him. “You could always find a way to take a business trip to Liyue sometime, too,” you suggested. “But, to answer your previous question. Yes, I would most definitely accept a position in Mondstadt after graduation if given the chance.”

Lightly nudging his nose to yours, Kaeya was able to smile again. Because, so long as the two of you were together, everything would turn out ok. You’d figure it out, lean on each other when things got tough, and whether you were together or apart, you’d forever be linked by the night.

“Just look for the peacock in the sky,” he muttered, his mouth hovering right over yours, the gentle fan of his cool breath melting you from the inside out. “Remember that it’s me looking after you…”

†††

The tent was bigger on the inside than it appeared. Spacious, with an abundance of blankets and pillows and room to nest. The ceiling opened to let the stars in, so many twinkling lights serving as a reminder of just how many times you and Kaeya must’ve looked up at the same exact constellations and had all those fond childhood memories come rushing back.

That, in itself, was its own kind of unbreakable bond.

And he was right. No matter how far the distance between you two spanned, you felt closer to him knowing the peacock was glittering somewhere above your head.

You two were just settling in, getting comfortable when you had the sudden urge to seek him out for another kiss. You’d never grow tired of the way his lips felt against yours, the way he tasted of crisp winter air and dandelion wine. The way his long fingers wove into your hair, so tender yet so desperate to hold you and never let go.

Kaeya deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing along the seam of your lips until they parted for him to give a sample of your flavor, something subtly sweet but no less satisfying. Before you knew it— not even having the chance to think about it— you were being pulled into his lap, your thighs straddling his hips as both your motions became more erratic, any and all savoring smoothness slowly saturating to the vibrant colors of desire, your stomach fluttering with that warm, rolling feeling as yearning turned lazily inside of you.

Your fingers had found their way into the river of his silky, navy strands, reminded how shiny and soft Kaeya’s hair had always been, the envy of everyone, just like most traits he’d been blessed by the Archons with.

It was quickly becoming clear that both of you wanted more of each other— far more than you’d gotten thus far— but before things could go too far too fast, Kaeya pulled back, giving you both a moment to catch your breath before asking if you’d done this before.

Suddenly more abashed by his question than the act you’d fully been ready to engage in, you said that you had, but only once. It had been when you’d first started university. It hadn’t been a particularly notable experience, but also not a horrible one either.

“I imagined it was you…” you admitted, unable to hold his gaze as you confessed something you now had regrets about. If you would’ve known you’d end up here, you would’ve saved the first time for him.

“C’mon now,” Kaeya began, letting out a breathy chuckle as he lightly hooked a finger under your chin, guiding your gaze back up to meet his. “Don’t say that.” You were about to interject, unsure whether the words that would leave your mouth would be assurance that you were telling the truth or a scolding for him not to tease you, but before you could say anything he continued with a sly, flirtatious whisper of, “Besides, if he didn’t leave much of an impression, he could never compare to me…”

You felt your face burn with shame and annoyance, flashing an adorably stunned scowl, mouth agape with a silent gasp which only made Kaeya laugh. Once he regained some of his composure though, he faded back into that soft, intimate security you never get tired of, resting his hands on your hips and assuring you in earnest that he was going to take good care of you. That you had nothing to worry about with him. That you were safe. You were loved.

“I got you…” he cooed as he helped you undress, every article of clothing he rid your body of removed with slow, savoring intention, his gaze tracking the newly exposed flesh with reverence, worshiping your figure with his single-eyed stare.

And you watched Kaeya undress too, enamored with all that beautiful brown skin, the glow of the moon outlining him in its silvery light, tracing over the toned expanse of his chest and broad shoulders, counting the new scars he’d earned over the years but finding they did nothing to take away from his regal beauty.

“Your eyepatch…” you then muttered as he drew closer to settle his skin against yours. “Are you going to…?”

Kaeya then seemed to become a little self conscious, as if he’d forgotten about it entirely until you’d spoken of its existence. His fingers hovered over the black material hiding his right eye, frozen in the decision to show you what was hidden underneath or not.

“No, y’know what…” you assured him, taking his hesitant hand in yours. “It’s ok. I don’t care about that. If it’s a secret you want to keep for yourself,” you said, “I’ll respect that.”

Kaeya looked like he wanted to tell you something— maybe he wanted to tell you everything— but then decided against it. Perhaps another time. Surely when you were both fully clothed and not so distracted by each other’s bodies the way you were now.

And then you were laying under him, and he was kissing you again in that way that made any and all thoughts that weren’t concerning right here and right now dissipate, and his hands felt cold like they usually did but his mouth was so much hotter than before. Goosebumps rose over your skin as his skilled touch explored the soft curves and planes of your form, both eager and patient at the same time, searching for the places that you responded to most and paying them more attention until you were gifting him soft whines and lilting mewls, gasps hitching as his mouth sucked his own pattern of constellations into your skin.

It was almost too much for you and all he’d done was kiss and touch you. It was enough to convince you that, like Kaeya had previously said, whether just a joke meant to fluster you or not, when you’d been imagining the boy who’d taken your virginity had been Kaeya back then, he hadn’t even come close.

This felt like worship.

Heavenly.

Divine.

For a moment, it made you think perhaps Kaeya was an Archon disguised as a human. His natural beauty was enough to rival the gods, a fact that presented itself at an early age, and his bountiful talents for combat and charming conversation were even more evident of such an assumption.

But for Kaeya, he saw you as the otherworldly deity, captivated most by the things only he got to know about you, like the way you sighed his name when he kissed your neck and the way your fingers felt tugging in his hair as he laved over the sensitive bud of your breast, feeling it furl even tighter in his mouth and earning another pleasured whine from your throat.

You felt yourself nearing an edge you hadn’t faced in a long time, and for a moment you tried to push him away, needing a moment to regain even a sliver of yourself before truly allowing it all to let go.

Kaeya prayed that you didn’t want to stop, but was also willing to do whatever it took to make you comfortable in this new, still so unexplored situation. He told you that if you needed to wait, he’d wait as long as it took. He’d already spent years waiting for this, and if it meant getting to have you of your own volition, there was no span of time he wasn’t willing to endure.

“No…” you breathed, cradling his face in your trembling palms, making sure he didn’t take his periwinkle gaze off you. “No, I want to keep going… I just…” You closed your eyes for a moment, swallowed down the fear, remembering his promise to take care of you. “I want to keep going.”

So Kaeya prepared you the best he could, slowly working you open with his fingers and paying close attention to how your body reacted to that slight stretch, letting out a hiss as he felt you clench around him before he was even really inside yet. He couldn’t believe this moment— one he’d spent countless nights falling asleep to or kept wide awake by for years— was actually happening.

By the time he was lining himself up with your entrance, your pulsing little hole already trying to swallow up his length before he’d barely nudged the tip in, Kaeya was sure he was experiencing pure ecstasy. It was hard not to sink into you down to the hilt in one harsh thrust, but he’d made you a promise and he intended to keep it.

After you’d adjusted to the sweet sting of him nestled inside of you, both of you taking time to catch your breath and relax a little, Kaeya began to move, holding you close as his hips rolled slow and rhythmic to meet the apex of your thighs, deepening the connection between your two bodies with each new motion and drinking in every sound of pleasure that left your pretty little mouth.

He couldn’t help but mark you with more bruises, wanting to claim you as his but not go so far as to hurt you. He was first and foremost focused on making you feel good. That way, in turn, you could make him feel good. And so the back and forth, endless cycle of drawing pleasure from each other’s bodies filled the tent with his strained whimpers and your delectable, melodic little whines.

Reaching a hand down to massage more gentle circles on your already overstimulated, swollen little clit, Kaeya’s thrusts picked up speed. Your tight cunt was constricting around him so hard he knew he didn’t have much longer before he lost control, but he was on a mission to make sure you came first.

“Kaeya—!” You called out through a clipped moan. And, Archons, you were so beautiful like this. Always so, so beautiful without even having to try. And Kaeya loved you. Kaeya loved you.

When you reached your limit, entire body tensing as wave after wave of pleasure washed through your veins, Kaeya gave a few more deep rolls of his hips and then he too was coming undone, filling you to the brim and stroking your face with the back of his hand as you both rode out the aftermath of the high.

The next thing you knew, you were wrapped up in Kaeya’s arms again. He held you close, and like this, listening to the steady beat of his heart as your vision swirled with sparkling stars, you felt like you were in a dream, drifting off to sleep on this cloud of warmth and pleasure.

And you loved him. Archons, you loved him.

The last thought you could recall before falling unconscious was that all this had been worth the wait, and a little while later, after Kaeya had cleaned you up, careful not to wake you, and bundled you both up in the blankets, snuggling back in close to you, he whispered those words out loud, meaning every syllable even if you weren’t able to hear them.

“I’ve always loved you,” he said, his voice a ghost drifting away on the next breeze. “And I’m never going to lose you again.”

Kaeya was quick to doze off beside you, and there was just a sense that, by the time you both woke up tomorrow, all your old wounds would be healed.

†††

The final day of your summer in Mondsadt was coming to a close, the city of contracts calling you and your classmates back to begin a new semester. But, as you stared out at the city of freedom, the landscape glowing gold with the setting sun, you were relieved to find you didn’t feel sad.

You, Kaeya, and your two research partners had all gone for a nice lunch that day. You thought it might be important for your friends to get to know your boyfriend a little better, now that you were lucky enough to be able to refer to Kaeya as such. So, throughout a lengthy afternoon full of laughter and banter, food and drinks, the time arrived for you to return to your temporary apartment and pack your things.

Kaeya offered to help, but you insisted all he had to do was make himself comfortable, unable to hide a smirk as he chose to lounge across your bed rather than take the chair by the desk, already acting right at home.

Neither of you really talked about it— how much you were going to miss each other— but that was all well and good with you.

Besides, Kaeya had already made arrangements to come visit you in Liyue a few weeks from now, wanting you to give him the full tour once you’d gotten all settled in and back to the normal swing of your routine. In between now and then though, you’d both spend your time writing letters and counting down the days. You were excited to see his messages signed off with that indigo eyespot feather again. Just the thought had your heart skipping a beat.

Waving goodbye to Kaeya as you crossed the bridge leading away from Mondstadt, his lithe silhouette shrinking by the stone arches more and more every time you dared glance back, the sky entering its era of peach and lilac before shrouding the valleys with its velvet navy, you found yourself craving the darkness of night.

Because, from now on, all you’d have to do to be reminded Kaeya was with you was to look up and find the peacock in the stars.

***

(Hello and thank you for reading! Also, to the person who requested this fic— first and foremost, I sincerely hope you enjoyed, and second, thank you for making such a nice request!

I had a lot of fun writing for Kaeya again. I guess I kind of can’t help but make him soft and tender in the end haha. I think he talks a big game and plays up his whole flirtatious side but deep down what he really wants and needs is a deep emotional connection as well.

Anyway, thanks again for reading, and if anyone else is ever interested in making a request, please check out my request guidelines.

See you next time <3)

[plague-of-insomnia]

Sebard(agni) AU idea #3456:

A modern AU inspired by the Japanese series 「初恋」(Hatsukoi, aka First Love).

The series is about two people who are high school sweethearts but lose touch after one of them has an accident and literally forgets about the years they knew one another. Then, ~20 years later, they reconnect partly bc the one who didn’t lose their memory could never forget their first love.

(This series slayed me and so this will be long.)

Setting: US, Modern AU

Pairing: Sebard(agni)

Bard would be Harumichi. He joined the military straight out of high school because it had always been his dream to be a pilot, He was a bit of a slacker in high school and didn’t plan to go to college, but he happened to see Seb at a ACT test and it was love at first sight. So he studied his butt off so he could go to the same school as Seb. After Seb loses memory of their relationship, he decides to go into the military anyway, partly to distract himself from his heartbreak, and also bc he never really fit in at college. Ultimately, he leaves the military and gets work as a security guard. Bard’s dated causally over the years, and even has a good friend and long-time fuck buddy, Agni (who may live with him; not sure yet), but he’s never once gotten over Seb. He compares everyone he’s ever been with to him (of any gender), and when they inevitably come up short, finds an excuse to break things off or keep things casual. Poor man has it bad.

Seb would be Yae, the one who lost their memory. He had a brilliant future before he was injured and lost his memory and had to drop out of school. An abusive marriage that ended badly. I suspect he was first told the injury was an accident but later found out it was caused by his ex, Claude. Ever since he escaped him, he’s moved around a lot and changed his name. He works at a call center so he has minimum contact with the public, and although he’s happy with his life and his cat, he’s constantly on edge that Claude will find him again. He avoids most relationships of any kind, not only out of fear but also bc he never knows when he’ll have to pick up and cut all ties again.

Agni would be Bard’s best friend and fuck buddy. I think they met by chance. Bard’s brother is Deaf, so he’s fluent in ASL, and he intervened when Agni runs into some asshole hearies at a restaurant and invites him over for dinner. They hit it off and become friends. (Harumachi’s sister is Deaf in the show.) Agni understands that Bard will never love anyone else aside from Seb, and is probably the one who pushed him to reconnect with him.

I think Bard happens to get a call from Seb (bc of his job) and he has a particular vocal tic that Bard recognizes immediately. He calls him by his old name, which causes Seb to panic and hang up. He spends the next few days terrified that he’d been found and debates about quitting his job and moving again, but his cat is sick so he has to take her to the vet.

At the vet, Seb happens to run into Bard in the waiting room. Agni has a cat, but since Bard works nights, asked him to take them for him. Bard immediately recognizes Seb, but ofc Seb doesn’t know who Bard is, and they get to chatting. Seb is closed off at first, but Bard is so affable he finds himself relaxing around him, and they establish a tentative friendship. But Bard is worried about telling Seb the truth about their paths, not sure how it will affect Seb or their relationship.

I think I would end up making this a poly ship. Seb sees Agni and Bard kissing one day when he tries to show up to surprise Bard and assumes that Bard was cheating on his boyfriend, so he ghosts him. Not knowing why Seb has gone silent suddenly, Agni comes up with an over-the-top and very much not Bard kind of romantic gesture to win Seb back. It makes Seb laugh so much it gives Bard the opportunity to talk with him and get the misunderstanding fixed. He then invites Seb to meet Agni. To Agni’s shock, Seb seems to know how to sign too, and they end up hitting it off.

There would definitely be angst and whump in this. Claude still sees Seb as “his,” and I’m sure that will cause issues, and ofc the “love triangle” element. But there’s a lot of room for “fated love” elements. Like Seb always buying the same brand of cigarettes (either he doesn’t smoke at all or those aren’t the kind he prefers) bc they comfort him and he doesn’t know why. Later, he finds out that Bard smokes that brand. 🥺

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about this AU for a couple weeks months now, and unlike some of my other AU ideas, I would LOVE to bring this one to life. The show is so well written and I love how it wove the diff timelines and love stories together so perfectly. It’s been awhile since I wrote a romance story and I think this would be a great one.

Thank you again to @apocalypticromantic666 for allowing me to gush about this story idea/series 🥺

[cevansbrat0007]

Hey! 👋 how did Ari, Andy and Curtis meet?

Forming the Trifecta - A Trio Introduction

Andy Barber and Ari Levinson have been good friends since childhood. However, they lost touch after high school when Ari opted to go into the military while Andy pursued a degree in political science.

They ended up reconnecting with the help of Ari's mother, who made a point of following Andy's career while her son was serving overseas. She reached out to the other man when he was going through a particularly difficult time in his life and they began having Sunday dinner together pretty regularly.

When Ari finally comes home after his second tour, she invites both boys over for dinner. And while they are initially surprised to see each other, they find themselves able to pick up right where they left off. And just like that, the two men are back to being thick as thieves.

___

About a year after Ari's return, he signs up at a local gym to take advantage of some promotional event they had going on. He likes it so much that, not only does he decide to keep the membership, but he also convinces his buddy, Andy, to join as well.

A couple of weeks later, the two men are in the middle of a workout when they notice one of the regulars by the name of Ethan giving a young woman a hard time.

Now, in addition to thinking he's God's gift to women, Ethan has a reputation for being kind of a douchebag. And on this particular day, the man is in rare form. He keeps invading the smaller woman's space, asking if she needs a spotter or wants help working the equipment.

Despite doing her best to ignore him, he just will not take "no" for an answer, which irritates the hell out of both men. But the shit really hits the fan when Ethan actually has the audacity to put his hand on the smaller woman's bicep and physically pull her towards him.

By then, both Andy and Ari have seen more than enough. Dropping their weights with a thunk, they intervene, placing themselves directly between her and the asshole.

Not wanting to seem like a punk, Ethan initially tries to stand his ground, puffing out his chest and talking all kinds of reckless. Sure, they let him run his mouth for a minute. But the moment Andy raises that one imposing brow and Ari casually cracks his knuckles, the other man is out of there.

And oddly enough, so was the woman they'd been defending.

Confused, they briefly scan the area for her, only to see her on the opposite end of the gym speaking to Curtis, one of the personal trainers who works at the gym part-time. Since she seems alright, they decide to return to their workout.

But before they can, they're interrupted by the woman once again. And this time she's brought along Curtis, who is quick to thank them for protecting his girl, Ruby. As a show of appreciation, he invites them both out for a beer, which they readily accept. After that day, the three become fast friends.

And, funny enough, it was Curtis who actually introduced his new buddies to the "Daddy lifestyle". But that, my friends, is a story for a different time.

END

---

P.S. If you love Dominant Daddies and OTT Alphaholes, then please check out my Trio Series Masterlist!

[likesunsetorange]

How would you write a story where eren and Mikasa met when they were young and they kind of just lost touch. Then they meet when they’re older and they meet again. I was also tryna see what that dynamic would be if eren has inherited like a company and is wealthy. This was just story I was thinking of writing and I want to see what your take would be since you are so talented

omg first off thank you so much, you’re so sweet!! i appreciate it!! :’) but hmmm i think this could go a lot of ways!!! i think it kind of depends if you want them to have had a relationship of the sorts beforehand or just have had a close beforehand! bc i think that can definitely change the stories!! so as of rn i have like two ideas for how i’d personally do it!

if they were together beforehand:

i imagine mikasa and eren were maybe teens and were probably dating so like 16/17 and each others’ first loves, could be childhood best friends or met in hs either works! (meeting in hs could make this next part a bit easier tho actually)

i’d imagine mikasa has to move away, maybe like i said before if they met in hs, her family always moved a lot, maybe one of her parents’ jobs made them move, so basically they probably try to work things out but they’re young and a ldr just isn’t feasible at that age so eventually they lose touch over time

years later maybe like when eren and mikasa are like in their mid twenties this would probably be when they reconnect!! i think it could be angsty and fun if when eren or mikasa were in a relationship but it’s like about to end tbh lol and seeing the other is what really makes them wanna end things lol but it’s not necessary tbh 🤷🏽‍♀️

but eren could have taken over grisha’s company (love nepo baby eren lol) and mikasa could have run into him maybe at like a business gala or maybe like a business event or even like through a mutual friends wedding like the possibilities are endless here LOL and that’s when they reconnect!!

and obvi they’ve changed a lot and like i bet eren running said company makes him a bit serious and less fun and mikasa reminds him of when he was more lax and spontaneous and shit very cute and corny they fall in love all that fun stuff some personal development in there ya know the drill lol

if they were just friends:

ema trio basically are childhood besties and maybe eren’s the one who moved away maybe bc his parents wanted him to focus on his ~studies~ or something bc they knew one day he’d be running the company and maybe his little hot headed ass was getting into too much trouble lol so they ship him away and then over time they just lose touch and then college and all that so he never really goes back until much later

mikasa and armin stay friends, eren kind of does his own thing, makes new friends from his new school but he does always miss them but obviously he has to acclimate so he moves on

family business thing he starts working for their company once he graduates so he’d probably move back and armin and mikasa are there still

i think with this au it would be kind of funnier for them to meet again at somewhere random bc they wouldn’t be expecting it and it’s been soooo much longer and they were so much closer too

but then yes same thing basically it’s them reconnecting and seeing how they fit into one another’s lives again but also how they’ve changed and such and all of that

i’m sure these aren’t all that necessarily unique LOL but these are what my brain conjured at 1 am so i hope it helps a little at least!!

[lotusjaune]

Hi !

So.

I've had this project on my computer for a while. I had kind of put it aside but the release of DiM pushed me to finish this introduction to the project. To be honest I had even started writing a story but I overestimated my abilities with it.

This story was to tell a sequel to the game. Where the gang, who have mostly lost sight of each other, come together to face the paranormal once again and reconnect with the bonds that have been lost over time. In short: drama, action, suspense and even a little romance.

Here is an introduction to the characters just before the story begins.

THE ENDING :

- The Hackett family is completely decimated.

- All the others survived the night

- Sylas is dead and all infected are human again.

- Dylan lost his hand.

- Enough evidence has been accumulated and the educators are cleared.

AFTER THE ENDING (4 years later):

After proving their innocence, Ryan, Emma and Kaitlyn are forcibly recruited by the military's « Paranormal Disposal Force ». They became experienced elite soldiers specializing in missions involving supernatural creatures.

Abi and Nick are also forcefully recruited.

Nick being the only one of the group to have undergone a complete transformation, he was locked up in the cells of the scientific department where he was regularly tested. The goal was to bring out some of his werewolf traits. As a result, he gained superhuman strength as well as heightened senses. After military training, he is sent to the field with his friends.

Abi was assigned to coordinate the "Quarry" team. This team consists of Ryan, Emma, Kaitlyn and Nick. This position was given to her once she was able to prove her devotion and worth to her superiors by participating in the research conducted on Nick. The « perfect employ » role is a facade she created to allow the team to spy on their higher-ups from the inside and find a way out of their predicament. When the team goes out on a mission in the field, they make their reports by radio to Abi who stays at HQ.

Jacob was never found by the police. Remorseful, he had left the scene of the incident alone through the forest. He is now considered missing. He flees to Canada where he travels the country in search of people who have been victims of supernatural events and helps them. He tries to redeem himself for his actions at summer camp. He has cut off all contact with people he knew before the attack and is unaware of what happened to his former friends.

Dylan was found by the police with the others but due to the loss of his hand, he was not recruited by the military corps. They cut Dylan off from all contact with his friends. However, he suspects that things are being hidden from him about his friends. He graduated in quantum physics and created his own prosthesis. He has extensive knowledge in engineering, robotics and physics. He works as a reporter for "Paranormal Investigation", the company that created the post cast that Ryan listened to. By working in the super natural he hopes to find clues to where his friends are. He also became a surrogate brother to Sarah, Ryan's sister.

After her brother's disappearance, Sarah meets Dylan who tells her the truth about what happened at Haquets' Quarry. Shortly after finishing her medical studies, her grandmother and last family died. She is then taken under Dylan's wing and becomes his teammate in his work as reporters. Dylan becomes her new family and best friend. She trained hard to make sure she will not lose her new family like she lost the previous one. She remains hopeful that one day she will be able to find her missing older brother.

Laura and Max were not found by the police at the summer camp. Afraid of once again facing corrupt authority, they both left before the police arrived and claimed never to have set foot in Haquets' Quarry. They stayed in touch with Dylan after learning that Ryan was missing. Laura gave Dylan her number, promising to come to his aid quickly if the need arose.

Here you have it. Hope you enjoied to read that ˆˆ’

If you want to know more about the story flee free to ask. And sorry for any mistake you might found in my writing. English is not my mother tongue.

[ivymarieauthor]

Discover the Best Romance Books of 2024 – Curated by Ivy Marie Author

Romance novels have a unique ability to sweep readers off their feet, transporting them into worlds filled with passion, longing, and unforgettable connections. As we move through 2024, the literary world is brimming with exceptional romance books that promise to tug at your heartstrings and keep you turning pages late into the night. Whether you're a fan of contemporary love stories, historical romances, or something with a touch of the paranormal, this year's offerings are sure to delight. Here at Ivy Marie Author, we’ve compiled a list of the best romance books 2024 that you simply can’t miss.

1. Epic Love Stories that Transcend Time

One of the most powerful themes in romance is love that defies the odds, whether those odds are rooted in time, space, or social conventions. In 2024, several novels explore these timeless connections, blending history with heartache and passion. Keep an eye out for titles like The Time Traveler's Promise, where love spans centuries, and A Duchess’s Secret, a tale of forbidden love in Victorian England. These novels remind us that true love knows no boundaries and that destiny has a hand in bringing soulmates together, no matter the obstacles.

2. Modern-Day Love Stories

Contemporary romance continues to thrive, offering readers relatable tales set in today’s fast-paced world. This year, some of the best romance books explore themes of self-discovery, the complexities of modern relationships, and the joys of finding love in unexpected places. City of Second Chances is a standout, telling the story of two individuals who meet by chance in the bustling streets of New York and find themselves on a journey of love and redemption. Love, Virtually explores the impact of technology on relationships, offering a fresh take on romance in the digital age.

3. Diverse Voices and Unique Perspectives

The romance genre is becoming increasingly diverse, with stories that celebrate love in all its forms. 2024 is a landmark year for inclusive romance, with novels that reflect a broad spectrum of experiences and backgrounds. Hearts Afire is a must-read, featuring a passionate love story between two women navigating the challenges of their cultural expectations. Crossing Borders tells the tale of a multicultural romance, exploring the beauty and challenges of love across cultural divides. These books not only offer compelling love stories but also broaden our understanding of the many ways love can be expressed.

4. Paranormal and Fantasy Romance

For those who like a touch of the supernatural in their love stories, 2024 delivers some truly enchanting reads. Paranormal and fantasy romances continue to capture the imaginations of readers, blending love with magic, mystery, and otherworldly elements. Moonlit Embrace is a captivating story of love between a witch and a werewolf, set against the backdrop of a centuries-old curse. Starlight Prophecy takes readers on a journey through a fantastical world where love is the key to saving the realm from darkness. These books offer a perfect escape into worlds where anything is possible, and love is always the ultimate magic.

5. Second Chances and Redemption

Who doesn’t love a good story of love lost and found again? Second-chance romances are a popular theme in 2024, offering readers tales of redemption, forgiveness, and rekindled passion. The One That Got Away is a heartfelt story of two former lovers who reconnect years later, discovering that the spark between them has never truly faded. Reunited in Paris explores the idea of finding love again in the most romantic city in the world, proving that some love stories are meant to have a second chapter.

Discover Your Next Favorite Romance Novel

The best romance books 2024 offer something for everyone, whether you’re looking for a tear-jerking love story, a sizzling contemporary romance, or a fantastical tale of passion and adventure. At Ivy Marie Author, we’re passionate about bringing you the very best in romance literature. Be sure to explore these titles and more as you dive into a year filled with love, passion, and unforgettable stories. Happy reading!

[stonewallsposts]

August Reading  

Far from the Madding Crowd- Thomas Hardy  (1874) 

I know, you want to say "maddening" rather than "madding", but that's not the title. Madding means frenzied. The story's protagonist is Bathsheba Everdene (the inspiration, as I understand it, for the Hunger Games' Katniss Everdene's name). She starts the story as poor girl. She meets a shepherd/farmer who falls in love with her and proposes. She refuses him. Later she inherits her uncle's farm, fires a corrupt manager, and takes over managing the farm for herself. In the meantime, the shepherd farmer has lost his farm due to an unfortunate incident, and she hires him to watch her flocks.  

She is also courted by a neighboring farmer, who she refuses as well. But she does fall for a charming soldier. The soldier is untrustworthy though and after they are married, loses her money to gambling. He ends up faking his death, then leaving for a few years. In the meantime, she continues to interact with the shepherd, and is pursued relentlessly by the neighbor farmer. 

At some point, the soldier is found alive, and presents himself to claim Bathsheba. The farmer, angered at the return of the husband, and the loss of his own prospects, shoots the husband, then turns himself in to the police for murder. At the end, Bathsheba realizes the shepherd has been her constant companion and they are quietly married. 

Jane Eyre- Charlotte Brontë (1847) 

This is my third read through Jane Eyre, a novel well worth reading multiple times. My focus this time was on each of the places she lived as eras, and what her struggle was in those epochs. 

They are, in the most general sense: 

Gateshead Hall- learning to stand against injustice 

Lowood school- learning that standing against injustice doesn't mean returning evil for evil 

Thornfield- standing against the personal temptation to compromise 

Moor House- standing against manipulations, particularly of a good cause 

I also read letters from Charlotte Bronte and her sisters for context, and 5 of the essays written about the novel at the back of the Norton Critical edition. This constituted another 150 pages of reading alongside the novel 

La solitudine dei numeri primi- Paolo Giordano  (2008) 

Prime numbers are numbers only divisible by themselves and 1. there are also 'twin primes', numbers that are close, such as 17 and 19, but never touching. The story is about Mattia and Alice, two young people who lived through life-altering tragedies as children. Mattia had a twin sister who was retarded. One day, they were invited to a party, and Mattia, certain that his sister would ruin the experience, left her alone in a park. When he returned, she was gone, and never found again.  

Alice was given skiing lessons that she hated, and in one day, she got separated from the group and went over a cliff where she permanently damaged her leg. These two go to the same school, and end up crossing paths. They both sense that they are supposed to be together, but Mattia in particular can never seem to overcome his character and let himself free. Even as adults they reconnect and understand they should be together, but can't get over their personality quirks. Like the twin prime numbers, they are close... but never touching.  

The Early History of Rome- Livy (27-9 BC) 

This massive History of Rome, or in Latin, Ab Urbe Condita, From the Founding of the City, originally comprised 142 'books'. We have 35 left. This Penguin Classics version contains the first 5, which cover the founding of Rome to the conquest of the Gauls in 390 BC. 

Book 1 covers the monarchical period up to about the beginning of the Republic in 509 BC. 

Book 2 covers the early republic from 509 – 469 BC 

Book 3 is titled the Patricians at Bay, covering from 468 – 446 BC 

Book 4 is titled War and Politics and covers from 445 – 404 BC 

Book 5 is titled the Capture of Rome and covers from 403- 390 BC 

Rome and Italy- Livy (27-9 BC) 

This collection from Livy's books comprises books 6-10 and covers from 389 BC to 292 BC, as Rome moves from one of the city states of Italy to the premier power in the peninsula. 

Darkness at Noon- Arthur Koestler  (1940) 

The story follows Rubashov, a communist party apparatchik, who is arrested and then killed for treason against the revolution. As Rubashov is first arrested, then undergoes a series of interrogations, he wrestles with the consequences of the part he played in the revolution, and how the ideology developed from what they had initially hoped to bring about, to the current state of affairs. 

This is really a fascinating dive into the psychology of what happens when the lofty goals of socialism are put into action, and how the movement necessarily turns so brutal.  

Arthur Koestler was a Hungarian Jew, who joined the German communist party, but quit in 1938 after seeing the direction Stalin had taken the Soviet Union.  

Under Milk Wood- Dylan Thomas (1954)

This is actually written as a radio drama / play. It was adapted to film in the 1971 version starring Richard Burton, which helped to sort through some of the nonsense... but I have to admit I didn't really enjoy this. It covers a day in the life of a fictional Welsh town. 'Nuff said.

[roseymoseyberry]

Anyway I'm excited because now I get two versions of swervefire I can write about

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Hello. Do you write for Melon? If so, could you make a Melon and a hubrids reader, maybe with whom he was friends for the reader, and after a while when they become adults, they meet each other again.

I love Melon. I just love that he’s an agent of chaos and makes it everyone's problems. Who needs therapy when you have a gun and lead a gang???

Melon has never had a lot of friends. He had a really poor upbringing, and that couples with his mom? The rumors about his mom? Yeah he doesn’t have any friends, except you. 

Melon was immediately very attached to you, and you being a hybrid? Just made him a lot more comfortable with you

He never invites you over. He doesn’t want his Mama to know you exist, since there is a tiny part of him worried about what she’d do

Very over protective of you at school. Melon has always been a little off, but there was one incident where a bully went after you, and Melon went after them with a sharpened pencil. 

When Melon finally snaps, and kills his Mama, he did it without foresight. If he had known doing that meant he’d be going to a foster home, away from you, he’d have waited until you two could run away together. 

While he jumps from foster home to foster home,  you two loose touch. It kinda crushed him. He tried to find you when he was older, but wasn’t able to. Once he was out on his own, he didn’t allow himself to think about you. You may have been a hybrid, but who would want to be friends with him now? If he was bad before, he was older and so much WORSE

-

Melon stops, heart pounding in his chest. When was the last time he didn’t feel empty? What was this feeling anyway? Shock? Must be shock. He opened his eyes a bit, but tried to keep them from showing to much of his feline heritage. He just had to make sure it was you. Melon knew deep down inside he wasn’t mistaken, but he really wanted to be wrong. He didn’t know if he could face you. Not after all he’d done. Even so, the child in him wanted to yell for you like he used to on the playground. Back then it was easier. That small part of him was also pleading for his older new self to suck it up and face you.

But he couldn’t. 

How could Melon face you? You two lost touch, and while he was never really able to contact you, he assumed you had hadn’t been looking for him either. You two had been close, and when he was still naïve, he believed no force on earth could separate you two for long. Now, seeing you again, he couldn’t process clearly the emotions swirling around in his head. 

He clenched his eyes shut again, trying to relax his tense shoulder and resume his gazelle disguise. He didn’t need his tail swishing.

“Melon?” You came right up to him, and he took a step back. Even on this busy sidewalk, with lots of escape routes, he still felt trapped. The gazelle in him wanted to flee, even if it meant that he had to run into the street.

“No, no...You must be mistaken,” Your frown...hurts? Is that what it is?

“I don’t think so? You’re Melon, right? We went to school together when we were kids. We lived just a few blocks away from one another,” He can hear your disappointment and confusion. His ear flicks. 

“Did we?” He plays dumb. His hands make a fist, and he digs his claws into his palms to try to distract himself. 

“Yeah, you were my best friend! Then you moved. I didn’t hear from you after that,” Your eyes are so honest. You’re still the same. You know about his teeth and claws, and how unsettling he was. Yet, here you were. Years later. You were trying to reconnect. He knows you’d be disappointed if you knew the new him. Was it really a new him though? He wondered if he was ever really different, of if he was always this horrible.

“I suppose I do remember you, a little,” He watches your face light up. 

“What’s your number? Maybe we can meet up for lunch or something!” You already had your phone out, punching in his name with one of those Melon emoji’s by his name. You look up eagerly at him.

Melon hesitates, but the fake number he intended to give you, wasn’t what he punched into the phone. He blamed the shock of seeing you. You quickly sent a hello text, and his phone’s alert went off. 

“So I’ll see you later?” Melon’s façade slipped. 

“Y-yeah,” Did he stutter? When was the last time his voice became shaky? 

“Wonderful! I’ll see you later,” You waved goodbye. 

Melon knew it wouldn’t end well. He knew that he shouldn’t text you back. Melon sneered under his mask at himself, his fingers hitting the keys of his phone to give you the time he was free. It took all of a few seconds for you to text him back with a place.

[You: See you soon!]

Even though he knew it wasn’t going to end well, he couldn’t help the smile. 

Now he had to get back to business. He had an elephant with a psychiatric appointment he needed to see. 

[spark-09butghostfilesbitch]

Truth or Dare

“I don’t want to,” Mai said as she straightened a bouquet.

“But everyone’s gonna be there, Mai!” Ty Lee implored. “It’s gonna be fun.”

“I don’t like fun.”

“What’s going on?”

The two girls turned and their eyes fell upon Tom Tom.

Ty Lee replied,"Aang, Katara, Toph and Sokka are visiting. They want Mai to come too since they won't be staying very long."

Tom Tom looked at his sister, doing his 'polar bear puppy eyes' thing.

"Please, can we go, Mai? I want to see Aang's air marble trick again!"

Mai frowned at her brother. "I'm willing to drop you off but I'm not coming."

"It would be so much better if you came, though," Ty Lee interjected. "We'd love to have you there."

Mai sighed out of frustration. It wasn't that she didn't like going to the palace. No, she just didn't want to meet Zuko.

Ever since their 'make up', Mai was unclear on what to do. She was sure she liked him liked him in the I-don't-hate-you kind of way, but she was still hesitant to be in a relationship again. When she had told Zuko this, he had cupped her cheek and told her he'd wait as long as she'd wanted.

And Mai had been thinking about his words. She just wasn't ready to face him yet.

"Mai?"

Ty Lee's voice shook her out of her thoughts. The knife thrower looked at the chi blocker.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," She said.

"No, no, I'll come," Mai said. She smiled at her oldest friend. "It'll be nice to reconnect with some old friends."

*

When Mai and Tom Tom arrived at the Royal Palace the next day, they found Ty Lee waiting for them. Tom Tom waved at her.

"You didn't have to wait," Mai said. Ty Lee looked up from where she had been doing a handstand, her legs arched and almost touching her head.

"I wanted to," She replied. She bent out of her handstand to survey her friends.

"You look tired, Mai. Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine. Tom just woke me up early." Mai frowned at the seven year old, and he shot her a sheepish grin. Mai sighed and shook her head.

"Let's go," She said. Together, the trio walked inside.

*

Mai opened the door to the sitting room. Inside, she found Team Avatar and Kiyi. Suki sat on the carpet covered floor. Kiyi sat on an armchair which looked too big for her. Aang and Katara sat together on a fainting couch. Sokka sat on a settee. Toph was lying down on the settee and had her feet propped up on Sokka's lap. The Water Tribesman didn't seem to mind.

Zuko sat at the foot of Kiyi's armchair. When he saw Mai, he smiled at her. Mai returned her more subdued smile. Tom Tom managed to squeeze in the armchair with Kiyi. Mai and Ty Lee took seats on the floor.

"Okay, is everyone here?" Sokka asked. They all nodded.

"What will we be playing?" Tom Tom asked Sokka. Sokka grinned.

"Truth or Dare, kiddo," He said. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes that Mai didn't like.

*

"Okay, who'll go first?" Sokka asked enthusiastically.

"Ooh, me!" Said Ty Lee.

"Okay, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Well," Sokka placed a hand on his chin. "Who's one person you can't live without?" He asked.

"I'd say...the Kyoshi Warriors, you guys and my family," Ty Lee finished. Sokka nodded. He turned to Toph.

"Toph, truth or dare?"

"Eh, truth," She said carelessly.

"Have you ever lost an Earth Rumble tournament?" Said Sokka.

"No. Other than the one with Twinkletoes I haven't lost to anybody else."

"Katara, truth or dare?"

"Dare," The waterbender answered.

"Okay," Toph said."I dare you to drink that bottle of extra spicy peanut sauce." Toph looked at her smugly. Katara spluttered.

"What - drink that?! Are you out of your mind?" Katara shrieked.

"Yeah, Sweetness, drink that bottle of extra spicy peanut sauce. You can have water after."

Katara looked like she was about to protest, but she defiantly walked across the room and grabbed the bottle of sauce. She stared at it for a few moments before opening it and taking a long sip.

As soon as the bottle was away from her lips, she gasped. Her face was flushed. Lips pressed together, she walked over to the table where the water was, grabbed a cup and took another long swig.

After draining the glass, Katara walked back to Aang and glared at Toph. The others laughed.

"One point to Katara," Suki said.

*

The game went on for another two hours. Suki was dared to kiss Sokka while holding a handstand, Aang was dared to walk around the palace and explain the rules of Pai Sho to random people. Mai was dared to throw a knife on an apple placed on Zuko's head while blindfolded. Thankfully, the tasks turned out well.

Finally, it was Zuko's turn. He'd been withdrawn for the most part and he agreed to a dare.

"Zuko," Sokka said. "I dare you to announce who the prettiest girl in the room is and kiss them."

There was silence at Sokka's words. Zuko's eyes widened and his cheeks flamed. The others put a hand to their mouths to hide their smiles. Zuko glared at Sokka.

"Couldn't you have given me anything else?" He exclaimed.

"You asked for a dare," Sokka said. "Here it is."

Sokka smiled at him innocently. Zuko bit his lip. Mai could almost see a plan to escape forming in his mind.

Finally, he announced in a strangely strangled voice, "Suki."

Everyone laughed. Toph had a cocky look on her face. "I can tell when people are lying, Hothead. And we all know it isn't Suki."

Zuko went even redder. Mai was sure that something in the room might be set on fire. But why was he so flustered? He just had to announce the prettiest person in the room and kiss them. It wasn't an uncommon thing to ask during Truth or Dare.

She felt like she was missing something, a vital piece of the puzzle. She felt like she should know who he was about to kiss. But she didn't.

His eyes kept flickering to her, his face turning redder. He ran a hand through his hair and kept glancing in her direction and.....oh.

Oh.

Mai understood. The others' smirks made sense. Zuko's fluster made sense.

She bit her lip and stared at her lap. She could feel everyone's gaze on her.

"Are you going to do it or not, Jerkbender?" Sokka asked teasingly. Zuko glared again.

"Fine," He said.

He cautiously approached her. Mai looked up a him. Zuko looked nervous, uncertain.

He stared at her furtively for a few seconds, before dipping his head down and kissed her. They broke apart within seconds and even though it was barely a brush of the lips, it left Mai's heart racing.

Zuko moved away from her. The others booed good naturedly. Mai could hear Tom Tom make retching noises.

"Oh, come on, that wasn't even a proper kiss!" Sokka protested. There were murmurs of agreement among the others.

Zuko shot him an icy glare but that didn't have an effect on them.

"You asked for us to kiss. We kissed. End of story." He said.

"It was barely a kiss and it still made your heart do somersaults," Toph said. "You've got it bad."

"Toph!" Zuko said angrily.

"What? I'm just stating facts."

Mai sighed. She knew their friends weren't going to leave them alone after this.

"We'll do it," She announced.

She walked over to him and knelt down. He looked at her, nervous and uncertain.

"Do you want to do this?" He whispered.

"Let's just get this over with."

His lips were soft. He kissed her gently, his hand cupped her cheek, while the other linked their fingers. Mai rested her hand on his forearm.

Mai had missed feeling like that. The feeling of his hand in hers. The feeling of his lips against hers. She felt warm, both inside and out. They broke apart and Mai glanced at Zuko.

His face was flushed. He stared right back at her, trying to control his breathing.

She heard someone wolf whistle and there was an outbreak of awkward giggling. Mai and Zuko disentangled themselves from each other and resolved to siting in their usual positions near Ty Lee and Suki.

*

Their friends slowly began to trickle out after that. Finally, when only Mai and Zuko were remaining, Zuko plopped down next to her. They sat in silence. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't comfortable either.

"I'm sorry," Zuko said.

Mai looked at him. "For what?" She asked, confused.

"For - well, I don't know what I'm apologizing for but I feel like I may have crossed a line," Zuko said.

"You didn't cross any lines. There isn't anything to apologize for," Mai said.

"There isn't? I didn't make you uncomfortable or anything?" Zuko asked.

Mai sighed. She knew they were going to have this conversation sooner or later. Might as well be sooner.

"I know I said I needed time," She began. "I think about your offer a lot, Zuko. To be honest, I didn't want to come today because it would mean meeting you but I'm glad I came. I felt like this gave me a push I needed."

Zuko smiled at her. "So, you're okay with us being a thing again?" He asked.

Mai returned his smile. "We'll practice opening up about our feelings and problems. If the Spirits are on our side, we could probably make it work."

Zuko took her hand. "We don't need the Spirits on our side. I already have you."

Mai blushed. "You're so cheesy."

But she was smiling too, and Zuko felt his heart soar.

He leaned his forehead against hers. Mai placed a hand on either side of his face. He knew what was coming and his eyes slid shut.

He smiled against her lips and could feel that she was smiling too.

They kissed slowly and then they broke apart. Mai's cheeks were dusted with a pink blush. His smile grew wider as Mai rested their foreheads together once more. He knew they ought to head back to their friends, but right now.....he was happy right where he was.

Story is also cross posted on Fanfiction.net and AO3.

[meetveronicablack]

Until We Meet Again

I forget how quickly grief comes back to you. It never does leave you.

Hiding in the dark corners of your mind. Lurking and waiting patiently to strike.

You are never prepared for it. No matter how many times you may experience grief, it comes back like you’ve never dealt with it before.

I didn’t ask Death to hover around my life. I didn’t ask Death to take away people that I love and care about.

Why would any want to experience this pain? Again and again and again?! I’m tired of this sadness. I’m tired of this grief. My pain isn’t going to bring back my loved ones or my friends.

It won’t take away the heart ache I feel. No one thinks this day could be their last. I can’t stand to lose another friend again…. But I did. I did … again. After a few months of losing another.

I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost family. And now … I feel like I’ve lost myself again —-in this grief.

Over the years, you learn to deal with it. You learn to manage. To slowly heal and move on. You accept the fact that grief… will linger. But it will be quieter.

But it’s not today. It wasn’t yesterday or the day before. It won’t be… not for a while.

I lost a good childhood friend two days go. He died unexpectedly. Leaving behind his wife, 2 yr old son, his father, brother and his little sister.

A family that already went through a tragedy many years ago. Losing their mother at a young age. Their mother was my mom’s dearest, closest and best friend. It took my mom and all us — years to recover from her death.

Two days ago… I also lost my friend. Someone I grew up with. Someone who I had so many memories before I moved to where I am now. Someone that we did lose touch for a bit ——but reconnected years later.

Slowly growing closer over the last few years again. My heart aches… for his wife. His son—-who is going through the same thing my friend did all those years ago. My heart truly breaks for his father, his brother and his sweet beautiful sister.

Oh Nico. I can’t describe this hole that is slowly developing in my heart. I was looking forward to having you at my wedding. Just like you invited me to yours. I was looking forward to the day—when I have my kid—to meet yours too. It’s still gonna happen.

Our big, beautiful, fun-loving and loud LLASU family have got you. We will take care of Megan and Luca. We will miss you Nico. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for showing me Space Balls. Thanks for always playing with me. Thanks for the sleep overs, the fun, the parties… all of it.

You will be so missed Nico. It won’t be the same without you. It truly won’t.

[mediocre--writing]

Billy reconnecting with his mother somehow, whether she hears about Starcourt, they get in touch through letters, or maybe even Neil’s funeral - your pick! You can also come up with a new scenario.

Maybe it’s before him and Steve are actually friends. They’re still a bit hostile but seeing Billy with his mother changes things, even if just a little.

steve wasn’t quite sure what to think.

all through his life, he’s been told by his parents that when someone dies, it is a time for reflection and sadness. you will move on eventually, but it can and will take time to adjust.

which is why he was so confused when, after hearing about the heart attack that killed neil hargrove, why max didn’t seem to be all that sad.

she was hanging around the boys the same as she always did, she didn’t seem all that affected by his disappearance from the world.

the only exception was how she was with billy.

she doesn’t yell at him when he comes early to pick her up or when he honks rather than coming up to knock on the door.

they’re not as tense.

come to think of it, steve doesn’t think he’s seen max’s shoulders slouch around billy until just this week.

but steve’s been picking max up the past few times, the hargroves finalizing the funeral plans and all.

but there was a new car parked on the street. it was the same blue color of billy’s camaro but it was an older, chunkier model, though it shined as if brand new.

steve honked for max twice, waited about five minutes total, then decided to just go knock.

he and billy had made “amends”—enough to be civil—and he was kind to susan and knew max had to be there (her bike was on the front lawn)

after knocking, steve waits another minute and a half before the door opens, susan is tearing up a little, but invites him inside anyway.

steve’s thinking about how aggravated dustin is going to be about steve being late to pick him up.

but once he comes into the house, he forgets about dustins wrath and focuses on the uncomfortable atmosphere in the house.

max has a cup against a door in the hallway and susan is cleaning up pots and pans in the kitchen. he assumes billy—and possibly the mystery car owner—are in the room max is spying on.

steve mouths a ‘who?’ referring to what she’s listening in on.

she looks as though she’s going to respond before her attention is drawn away by a noise inside the room, one that could be heard without the glass.

it doesn’t take but a few seconds for max to scramble up and quickly seat herself at the dinner table steve was standing near and the door opened to reveal two people.

a woman, tall and blonde and had crows feet around her eyes, though it didn’t deduct from her obvious beauty.

behind her, linked by their hands, walks billy, who looks happy despite the tear tracks on his face.

“you’re a very bad spy, max,” she smiles and winks at max, who blushes at being found out. “but you can always improve. don’t wear shoes, they make noise. try socks, instead,”

max just nods and messes around with the glass as she tries to force the blush away.

steve thinks his presence just goes unnoticed because billy has draped his arms around the woman’s shoulders, resting his head next to hers and she rubs his arms in response.

“and who’s this handsome boy?”

“babysitter,” max offers. “not that we really need one, but he drives us around,”

“how sweet,” she smiles (it seems as though you can never adapt to how shockingly kind her smile is, no matter how much she does it). “do you go to school with boppy?”

billy, gently, knocks his head into his mother’s with a groan, whispering something about her ‘shutting up’ and she responds with a light, tapping slap on his arms.

“he’s embarrassed, let me rephrase. do you go to school with billy?”

steve, storing the nickname ‘boppy’ for later ammunition, nods to her question, “yes, ma’am,”

“carrie, nice to meet you,” she smiles, again.

“well, me and steve are gonna head off now!” max says as she jumps from the table and dragging steve out of the house.

“what was that about?” steve asks once they’re buckled in and he’s started the car.

“so... neil died,”

“i’m aware,”

“and carrie—billy’s mom—had heard through a newspaper back where they used to live that he’d died and found the address for the funeral and figured out where we lived by asking around and—“

“you’re allowed to take a breath, max,” steve joked, but max just looked lost in her own thoughts.

“he’s been all clingy and—and different now that she’s here,” max said, quiet and off handed.

“well, he hasn’t seen her in—“

“i think he was 7 or 8 the last time he saw her,”

“so 10 years,” steve was trying to pay attention to the road and keep an eye on max. “he’s bound to miss his mom,”

“what if he leaves?” max ponders quietly, “what if he doesn’t want to stay here and he goes back to california with her. he has no obligations to me or my mom, so why should he stay?”

“max—“

“no! he should go! if he doesn’t care enough to stay then he should just leave!”

“has he even said he wanted to leave?” steve asks, a little amused at max’s overreaction.

“a million times,” max looks around the car and out the window. “it was all he could talk about for months when we first got here,”

“what about now? recently?”

max shrugs, “i don’t know... not really?”

so steve does some thinking. while he picks up the other kids and when they’re off playing around the arcade.

he thinks about how stressed max is. thinks about susan’s tears that afternoon. thinks about how at ease and gentle billy looked while hugging his mom and whispering with her. thinks about how gentle billy has been this past week or so... right since neil was hospitalized for complications after a heart attack.

after all his thinking, steve makes a plan.

billy looks up from the hood of his car to a knocking on the garage wall. he’s interested, however, upon seeing steve standing there.

“yea, harrington?” he asks with a little eyebrow quirk.

“i just wanted to talk to you,” steve offers a half smile, “about max,”

“go right ahead,” billy leans against the counter along the wall across from steve, relaxed and wiping grease from his hands.

“she’s afraid you’re going to leave. she thinks your mom coming to see you means your leaving her,” steve looks around the small garage, “it might be true, i don’t know and i have no right to your life, but please talk to max. i think she’s really scared you are going to give up on her now. thinks you have nothing holding you here, but i know that the two of you have been getting closer and more civil, if not friendly,”

billy stares at steve for a minute, uses a blank stare—not threatening, but not kind, just blank. “i’ll talk to her, thanks,”

billy smiles at steve before he goes back to working on the car.

steve sees this—this something in his face. the smile wasn’t teasing or flirtatious. it was warm and showed actual thoughts behind it, almost made him glow. mad him look like his mom.

and—let’s be honest—the town of hawkins isn’t by any means large. people knew neil hargrove wasn’t the kindest man and max had alluded to his acts of aggression without explicitly stating anything numerous times, but billy is completely different now.

that’s not to say neil hargrove deserved to die—had it coming, maybe—but this was most definitely not the same billy hargrove that steve had seen screeching into the school parking lot.

and wether it was neils absence, carries arrival, or a mixture of both, steve could see a california glow wrap the boy in rays of sunshine, even on the dull, cloudy days in hawkins.

“you gonna stand there for a while or what, harrington?”

steve hadn’t realized he was staring at billy, who was smirking (though not maliciously) in his direction.

steve stuttered, finally excusing himself from the garage and going out to his car, going home.

he attended neils funeral. many people showed up, just out of a neighborly obligation, and it was a quick, run-of-the-mill service.

the highlight of the funeral, in steve’s opinion, was turning around just in time to see billy and carrie leering over the hole that neils casket was in, and sharing a sly smile before, at the same time, spitting into his grave.

and the next week, after steve had noticed carries car missing from they mayfield-hargrove house driveway, and was delighted to see billy snapping at max to not be late as he dropped her off at the middle school.

he was even happier to hear, from max and the party, that carrie had rented an apartment in one of the complexes by the center of town, applying for a few jobs so she could hang around for a little longer. apparently, her and susan had a lot of shared interests and a mutual dislike for how neil treated children.