#and also what feels like brain zaps but its located in my chest and neck???

[burning-effigy]

i was watching brennan lee mulligan edits, and then pretty much out of nowhere had sensory overload, which in turn led to my worst panic attack in 5 years 😬

anyone who knows how to get rid of a special interest hmu

[cannibalkissies]

Feeling good today and I only work for 3hrs later in the afternoon... take my A-7V (my s/i for Raiden) excerpt I wrote 7 months ago 🫶 Also the warnings are legitimate, there is no tongue in cheek descriptions of the scenarios.

I was made in a lab. Not the way that the Snakes were. I have no organs and no blood to bleed. My innards are electric, wires, metal... inorganic. My skin is latex and my bones are carbon fiber. My brain isn't gray matter, it's made from careful handcrafted circuit boards. When someone calls me a name or passive aggressively bumps into me, it's stored in my hard drive. The "memory" plays just in the corner of my vision sometimes, displaying like a pop out video. I can't ignore it. There's no function for that.

When my boss started using me, the pop outs came frequently. I know I'm just a machine and I should expect nothing less from humans, considering I was created to serve, but the way he uses me feels wrong.

Listen to me. *Feels* wrong. I wasn't programmed to feel. And yet...

It feels wrong. The first time I refused, but that didn't matter to him. The second time I refused again, trying to push the idea that being used like this wasn't part of my function. But he's the boss. He's the boss and I am the machine.

My programming created me to torture. To saw the teeth out of spies mouths slowly and dislocate their jaw if needed. Some special cases required me to meticulously snap their finger bones one by one, but I rarely got there. They usually would talk after the first 3 teeth.

Ever since my boss had been using me, I'd get squeamish. I'd get... sensitive to the spies' cries. The way the tears would cloud their vision and trail down their fleshy cheeks captivated me. It... hit something inside of me. It felt like it was hitting my chest instead of my head, where my circuits are located. Their cries of agony while the blood pooled out of their mouths...

I understood.

I understood why they were screaming. I wished I could scream like that. I wish I could scream as loud as my vocal box will let me before it either fries or I break a few bullet proof windows.

The third time my boss used me... I almost clamped my hinges down on him. I wanted to mortally wound him. But I couldn't.

What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I?

The fourth time... I stopped counting. I stopped counting and I stopped resisting. I became compliant. He said he would upgrade me during my next system cleanse. Physically. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I hoped it meant it would stop hurting.

Hurting?

If you call the oil in my joints running dry, my hinges scraping against each other, my battery running lower than its ever been, and the electricity zapping my brain *hurting*. Then yes, hurting. I wanted it to stop.

The upgrades were silicone and made it feel better for him. Worse for me. He got rougher and rougher. Grabbing at my synthetic fibers on my head that were created to be hair, ramming my titanium spine into a metal desk, intentionally faking out my system's sleep mode so I could feel... "drugged."

It went on for weeks until I finally did it. I didn't care if I lost my job or if I was disassembled to make an example for other beings like me. I ripped it off.

I ripped it off and watched him scream and spurt blood all over my face. His *manhood,* if you could call it that, was in my mouth. In between my teeth and against my upgraded tongue. What's beautiful about all of this is that I could taste the blood with his upgrades. I tasted the iron rich liquid seeping out of his appendage.

Then I spat it out, doing exactly what he hated, and I pinned him against the wall. I don't remember what I said to him, my circuits were feeling like they were going to explode in my man-made skull.

His fat pooled over my hands as I gripped at his neck and strangled him for a good 30 minutes on and off, depriving him of oxygen and then granting him the gift of life back. He started turning blue. It was... beautiful. His leathery oxygen restricted skin against my silky soft artificial suit.

I heard the guards coming. So I made sure he was awake enough to see me do the last motion. I squeezed his neck so hard...

He looked like one of those stress dummies he keeps on his desk. But with a lot more blood, human bits, and gore.

I didn't have to check if he was dead before escaping the facility. I knew it. I made sure of it. But now I wander around as a deadly machine. A machine that will be hunted until the end of time. No one will care how I was made this vicious, they will only care about the power I held against a man that dared to disrespect me.

[angelicspaceprince]

Keeping Warm

Author: Ama

Title: Keeping Warm

Pairing: Zhuk/Reader

Character/s: Zhuk

Word Count: 2, 541 words

Warnings: Smut (18+ only please), cockwarming, public sex, train sex, 

Prompt: Zhuk wanted to show you all the sights and sounds of his home country of Russia, but you definitely was not expecting what he has in store for you today.

Notes: So. Yes. Ok. I may have. A small problem. And addiction. To this sorta thing. Translations for long pieces of Russian is at the bottom of the post in order of appearance. Enjoy.

Buy Me a Coffee

Keeping Warm

The fact that you were in Russia, visiting Zhuk’s home, was incredible to you. Yes, it was right before the cold snap of winter, but everything was gorgeous. Every sight, every sound, everything Zhuk had to show you was incredible. Saint Petersburg, Red Square, the City of the Dead, the Dancing Forest, even Muromtzevo Castle. Zhuk wanted to show you every part of his homeland as possible, holding you close as he zapped you to a new location each day.

Which is why it surprised you that he insisted that today you needed to take the train.

You didn’t mind, even though it was freezing and he insisted on you wearing his favourite dress that barely covered your ass rather than pants, you just thought the entire situation was….well. A little off to say the least.

The train was packed. Even before you climbed in. You turned to look at Zhuk, almost in a pleading fashion. Wouldn’t it just be easier for him to transport you there? He simply chuckles and pushes you forward, hand on the base of your back as you enter the carriage. Zhuk, somehow, managed to procure a seat for himself, having you stand up in front of him. That really should have been your first clue that something was wrong.

The train hadn’t even started moving before Zhuk grabbed the lapels of your coat and tugged you into his lap. It wasn’t an uncommon location for you to be in, in fact, it was pretty much your guaranteed seat at the manor. Hell, he’d even have you sit in his lap during smaller meetings. That you were used to. But this? In public? With what you were wearing? It wasn’t a place you were 100% sure you wanted to be.

You shift into his lap until you’re comfy, looking up to see his lips turned into an amused smirk, amber eyes glinting, almost as if he was plotting. “Malysh, come closer?” He requests, his amused look not changing for even a second. “I’m cold.”

“Thought you’d be used to the cold weather by now.” You tease as you shuffle forward slighl-

Oh.

Oh.

So that was his game.

You look up at him at the feeling of his very hard, leaking cock that had made its way out of his pants and was pressed up against you, your brain piecing together why he wanted you in that short dress. And why he requested you go panty-less, a request you firmly denied. A decision you stood by even in the current situation.

He returns your look, his hands moving to reach your waist from under your coat, rubbing his hands up and down your sides in a soothing motion. The elderly woman across from you coos before speaking to Zhuk in rapid Russian, him simply smiling and returning her comment smoothly. You barely catch the words ‘is nervous’ and ‘isn’t used to the cold’, your Russian - although good enough to converse with - not good enough to follow the two speaking it so quickly.

You do catch her saying ‘what a good man you are, looking out for your wife’ and that nearly causes you to snort, having to hide your face against his neck. If only she could see that the ‘soothing motions’ were actually him pulling your dress up to your waist, his fingertips tracing over the lace of your panties. You don’t know how it happened, one second they were there, the next they were gone, but soon your bottom half was bare and you could feel the scratchy fabric of his trousers against your ass. His fingers skillfully, almost playfully, move to spread your folds and dance along your clit before slowly sliding inside of you, stretching you, preparing you. You don’t know how to respond, face red as you bite back gasps and small moans, much to his delight and enjoyment. You look up at him through your lashes, eyes wide as you murmur, “Zhuk, moy muzh,” shifting slightly in his lap, accidentally forcing his fingers deeper inside of you, causing a small jolt and grunt to fall from your lips. The look in his eyes is positively feral as he calmly lifts you up and pulls you flush against him before slowly lowering you onto his cock, slowly filling you up as you take him to the hilt. His strong arms wrap around you, keeping you pressed against his chest to stop you from moving.

“Keep me warm, moya zhena.” He purrs in your ear as your arms wrap around him, face pressed against his neck as you try to hold back small moans, feeling so incredibly full. Your hand briefly move to feel your stomach, causing you to whine softly into his shoulder when you feel him. Pulsing, throbbing, but most importantly, filling you and stretching you in a way no one else could. You press down just to see if it’d make you feel fuller, which it does and it causes you to whimper softly. What it also does, much to your surprise is cause Zhuk to let out the smallest, quietest, tiniest little moan, almost breathy, right in your ear. You freeze for a second, and in that second, you nearly forgot where you were. You try to go and press down on the bulge protruding out of your stomach slightly, only for a pair of hands to catch your wrists and tug them away before disappearing. “Behave.��� The one word rumbles out from deep within his chest.

You somehow manage to settle, his arms having wrapped around you to the point he was able to rub at your hips gently. To the onlooker, it simply looked like the two of you were completely and utterly lost in one another, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, completely hidden by the thick fabric of your coats. But, in reality, you were struggling to remain quiet, remain discreet. Every so often, as the train went over a part of particularly bumpy track, Zhuk would jerk up into you before settling back down, it causing a sudden jolt of hot pleasure through your already sensitive system as you move to hide your red face against the collar of his coat, biting down on your lip to the point that, at some stage, you had caused it to bleed. Ever the gentleman (or as gentlemanly as one could be with his cock currently pressing against every sensitive spot inside of you), Zhuk calmly swipes away the few droplets of blood before swooping down to kiss the pain away, lips soft against yours as his tongue chases after the few drops he missed, closing the wound for you as he does so. As he pulls back, you feel his cool breath coast over your face, eyes having fluttered shut as you try to concentrate on his lips and him filling you and him healing you and just him in his entirety. His delicious, mischievous, sexy entirety. “Beregis', malen'kaya roza. My ne khotim, chtoby vy unichtozhili takoye prekrasnoye proizvedeniye iskusstva, verno? Eto moya rabota.” He purrs lowly and slowly, giving you a chance to translate the sentence into English, causing you to shudder.

“It’s your own fault.” You complain, moving to rest against his shoulder once more as he chuckles, enjoying the sensation of his vibrating chest against yours.

You settle back down and try to focus on anything. Anything other than the delicious stretch he was providing, anything other than how every so often either one of you would shift and it would send a large shiver down your spine as the fabric of his pants rubs against your clit, anything other than how you could feel him throb and pulse inside of you. Anything other than that incredibly hot growl he lets off every time you clench or squeeze around him, that one-word warning rumbling past his lips every single time that gets at you just enough for you to temporarily obey him. Anything other than the low vibrations that seem to be coming deep inside the train right up through Zhuk and inside of you, turning his cock into a low-setting vibrator. It feels good, too good, to have him fill you, stretch you, hold you flush against him. You can’t help the occasional whine or whimper that falls from your lips. You can almost feel his smirk every single time as a large hand palm at the bulge he has created and murmuring a soft ‘soon’ into your ear, a promise of what was soon to come.

Slowly, but surely, the carriage begins to empty. Each stop, several passengers disembark with very few boarding. Within thirty minutes, there is just you, the elderly lady who is knitting quietly opposite you and three other passengers to your left. At the next stop, they all leave, the elderly lady biding the both of you farewell as she goes, only Zhuk returning the goodbye.

The train takes off once more and you relax into his arms. Finally alone.

Zhuk, on the other hand, has very different plans. His grip on your waist tightens as he growls lowly, and then, without hesitation or mercy. Zhuk begins to fuck you.

You weren’t expecting a slow, romantic, love-making session, but the ferocity of how he takes you does surprise you slightly, your last brain cell melting from your mind with that thought as you cling to him, nails biting down into the black wool of his coat and teeth sinking in against his neck as you desperately try to muffle any sounds pouring from your throat as to avoid alerting the people in the next carriage.

You feel so full, in a way that only he’s ever been able to fill you, so completely and nearly to the brink of breaking point, him pressing against every little spot inside of you that makes your body tingle and light up with each thrust upwards into you. You’re not sure what it was, the fear of getting caught, the idea that you were in public, having sat on him for at least three-quarters of an hour before he started fucking you, the risk that at the next stop the carriage could fill up again, the time factor because of that fact, the rough cotton of his pants rubbing against your clit so deliciously, his low, rumbly voice with his own special kind of timbre murmuring small praises, mixes of Russian and English being quietly spoken into your ear, or a mix of them all, but your orgasm hits you like a freight train. Your eyes squeeze shut, teeth-baring down to the point you are certain you’ve ripped fabric as you muffle your scream as you shudder and clench around him, causing him to groan lowly in your ear.

“Careful now, dragotsennyy.” He nips at your earlobe teasingly. “You do not want to get caught in such a compromising position, da?” You shake your head, trying to force yourself to stay quiet, barely able to hold back your small mewls as he continues to press up against you, your overly sensitive body both begging for more and for it to stop.

Quickly, his rhythm becomes sloppy, his thrusts become harsher and his grip on your hips grows tighter as he grunts quietly. You can tell that he’s close, his hands guiding you to rock up against him, your hands moving to cup his face and move his face in order to kiss him, your teeth clacking as your faces mash together in a desperate attempt to silence him as he groans lowly into your mouth, returning the kiss just as heatedly and as desperately.

Just as the automatic voice comes up to inform you of the incoming station, Zhuk’s hips stutter to a stop as he groans, a little too loud for comfort but thankfully no one next door seemed to notice. You roll your hips against him as he spills inside of you. You can feel his smirk against your lips as you sigh happily as your hips move to a stop, him kissing you softly once. Twice. Three times before he moves to nuzzle against your neck.

As a selection of new passengers enter the carriage as the train stops at the next stop, the sight that greets them is nothing more than sweet. You, having swung back around to sit properly in Zhuk’s lap, his arms wrapped around your waist as he pulls you close, your face beet red as the taller man hides his cocky smirk into the back of your neck. What they can’t see is you squeezing thighs together tightly to keep his cum from sliding down your legs and into the back of your coat or, God/Satan forbid, into the seat of Zhuk’s pants. You turn to murmur closer to his ears in the hopes that no one will overhear.

“Can I have my panties back please?” You don’t like the sound of his amused chuckle that comes from the back of his throat.

“No.” Comes his simple response, his arms squeezing around you for just a second. “The next stop is ours.” He says calmly.

“Zhuk.”

“Moya zhena.” He replies, amusement still evident in his voice, hands moving to tap at your thighs as the train starts to slow.

You sigh, knowing that there was no point in fighting it. You discreetly attempt to tug your skirt down lower from over your now buttoned-up coat, Zhuk already having pulled it down just past your ass when he helped you reposition earlier before you carefully slide off of his lap and awkwardly make your way to the doors, his hand rubbing the base of the back as you continue to attempt to keep as much of his cum inside of you, whimpering when you feel it slowly start to slide down your thighs.

The moment you step outside, you forget anything about your previous missing of not leaving a trail of white behind you as you spin to glare at your husband. “Zhuk.”

He looks down at you innocently. “Yes, zaika?” He asks innocently.

To your surprise, when you exit the train, you are back at the station you boarded on. You are tempted to slap him, tell him off, ignore him completely. Instead - “When can I have my panties back, you asshole?”

He smiles charmingly down at you, leaning down to kiss your lips chastely, a stark comparison as to what just occurred. “When we are back in our room.” He dismisses, his hand resting at the base of your back as he guides you towards the exit.

He’s lucky that you love him.

Translations:

In order of appearance:

Watch out, little rose. We do not want you to destroy such a beautiful work of art, right? That's my job.

[butterflyinthewell]

Here is a giant post of the vocabulary I use when narrating from Godzilla’s perspective.  (Pardon my autistic infodumping...)

[Human perspective shot of Godzilla looming next to a building. We’re looking upward, so all you see is his huge chest, his chin, his stomach, his hips and his hands. He is looking straight ahead, so he would have to look down to see the viewer.]

--- * A lot of what’s written in this is based on my personal headcanons / speculations for / about Godzilla and his godzillasaur species, gleaned from 20+ years of being a Godzilla fan and a few things I read on the Godzilla wiki. *

Godzilla 2014 and KOTM are bringing in brand new Godzilla fans who may want to write fanfiction, so I wrote this out to give other / newer fanfic authors ideas for how to make up vocabulary for narrating Godzilla’s POV. I personally apply this to Heisei era Godzilla, but you can pick and choose things to apply to other versions as well. This is not a how-to, it’s more of a guide map. 

Godzilla can’t exactly narrate in words, so I use specific vocabulary for his narration to “paint” his perspective into a form readers can understand while still keeping it a little bit animalistic or alien. Terms that are capitalized are capitalized for 2 reasons: It’s something he “named” with a descriptor, or it’s knowledge about the world imparted on him by his Father when he was a baby. Things he doesn’t capitalize are casual terms, like we would say “my wife” or “that’s the sun up there in the sky.”

I treat Godzilla as sapient, self-aware and driven by thoughts and emotions as much as instinct. He has a distinct, individual personality. He harbors a deep connection to the Earth since he himself is a force of nature created in unnatural circumstances. At a glance he sees the world more primitively than we do because he has no understanding or need for modern human trappings like cell phones or cities, but dig deeper and his feelings about life are as complex as ours.

He gets a very interesting new perspective of the modern human world because of a nasty man named Goro Kurojima. Let’s just say “pieces of Mecha-King Ghidorah, SHRINK RAY, Godzilla becoming the size of an action figure” and leave it at that. The experience lets Godzilla realize humans put the same emphasis on family / connections that godzillasaurs do, but we kinda suck at showing it. ;)

A small note about the timeline goofiness thanks to Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: I spin it that trying to teleport the godzillasaur into the Bering Sea let him turn into a bigger, angrier Godzilla because of nuclear material that detonated when he ‘landed’ on it, so messing with time changed nothing in history other than his size. The 1984 attack and his battle with Biollante still happened. All Shindo’s submarine did was feed him and kill the anti-nuclear-energy-bacteria he got infected with in Godzilla vs Biollante. 

Another note: I will use godzillasaur to refer to Godzilla’s species in general. In his mind and heart he is still a dinosaur who has lived for a very, very, very long time and his father lived even longer still. He is ancient.

---

--- Stuff related to himself, his family or Shezilla ---

The Old Days = the time of the dinosaurs, which he greatly misses. He knows he can’t return to those days because his appearance will make normal godzillasaurs run away in fear.

The New World = modern times, a place where he feels forever foreign.

The Flash = the bright detonation of the underwater nuclear energy that mutated him.

The Change = the painful process of mutating. It was an extremely traumatic experience, so he gets really pissed off if something flashes bright white light straight in his eyes. Any other color, he doesn’t care, but white is awful and reminds him of the painful Change that came after the Flash. ----Side note: Right after the Change, he swam around the ocean feeding off of natural uranium deposits until they no longer sustained him, which led to him going ashore in ‘84. The rest is history.

The Fireball = the asteroid that led to the extinction of most dinosaurs. 

The Big Boom = the sound the asteroid made.

Long Sleep = hibernation

His Fire = the radioactivity that keeps him alive. When he is tiny and learns the ‘heat’ of his Fire can make humans sick, he tries to minimize his radioactive output when near people he likes. There is no way to make it safer when he is full size, but he will still try.

Feeding his Fire = when he’s absorbing radiation.

His Fire burning low / Fire Hunger = his body’s “low radiation warning” that signals he needs to go absorb more to maintain his internal fission. It feels like a mix of hunger and nausea and he feels his body getting weaker / stiffer when he needs to feed.

His Flame = his radioactive breath beam.

The Surge = his nuclear pulse. It’s a painful move for him, so he doesn’t like to do it very often.

The Scent = he has nerve fibers in the roof of his mouth that behave like a biological Geiger counter. To him it’s a scent that tingles, and the stronger the tingle the stronger the radioactivity. It’s directional, he will catch a whiff of Sustenance and track it by pointing his nose at the source. A studious observer will see him open his mouth slightly like cats do when he’s trying to pin down the exact location of a radioactive snack. It also helps him keep track of how Shezilla is doing. ----Side note: Godzilla has a very acute sense of smell, and when he’s tiny he uses smell along with sight and hearing to tell individual humans apart. He gets concerned when the lady humans he’s in contact with smell like blood because the concept of a period is beyond him, so he thinks they’re injured. It’s...kinda cute.

Sustenance = Radioactive anything he can absorb radiation from. Sometimes he swallows radioactive materials and sometimes he only needs to touch or be near them. He discovers he loves the taste of iodine-131 while he’s tiny and will slurp that up from a eye dropper like it’s candy.

Invisible light / Invisible colors = light from the ultraviolet spectrum, he’s a tetrachromat. He sees 'down’ into all the colors we can and ‘up’ into the ultraviolet spectrum. So he will see a rainbow the same way we do, but with more colors past violet. If you point a black light at him, the pits and grooves in his hide will fluoresce blue and purple. He sees these without the help of a black light. These colors are more concentrated on his hands, face, neck, chest, the edges of where his muscles bulge and the base of his dorsal spines to draw attention to these areas. Shezilla’s are in the same spots and glow pink and green. It’s these invisible colors that make them so attractive to each other, because it’s pretty.

Dark Light = x-rays and gamma rays, he perceives their effects on the environment (a blurry glow around the source) the way humans perceive certain colors as glowing under a black light.

Shining his Light = the act of lighting up his dorsal plates to impress Shezilla or alert her of his position in pitch darkness. If Shezilla does it, she’s showing him her Light.

His Thunder = the whoosh of his holosystolic heart murmur, which is due to a ventricular-septal defect. He can always hear this although it’s louder to him in quiet places or while he’s underwater.

His Lightning = the internal kick he feels from his biological nuclear reactor shocking his heart whenever its rhythm goes awry.

His Palsy / the Palsy = the spasms, limited range of motion and difficulty moving he experiences due to brain damage caused by his heart defect. His Palsy is being difficult when it hurts to move, when controlling a movement is hard or he uses a lot of effort to initiate movements, and it’s the reason he has a slow, lumbering gait. Its visible effects get more pronounced when he’s starving for radiation.

The Pangs = the chest pains he gets when his heart races towards fibrillation. This happens because the mutation caused his heart’s conduction system to form too many nerve branches around the hole between his ventricles. Sometimes they misfire, throwing chaos into his normally nice, rhythmic heartbeat. It tends to happen more when his heart beats fast. Fast for him is 50bpm or more. His resting heart rate is around 13 - 16bpm when he’s awake, drops to 10bpm when he’s in deep delta wave sleep and can go as low as 5bpm when he’s in deep hibernation. He gets up to 85bpm when the v-tach kicks in and that causes the Pangs. ----Side note: This is the sticking point of why the shrink ray is actually hurting Godzilla. When he’s tiny, his resting heart rate is close to 50bpm and jumps to 80 - 90bpm when he gets stressed, and can hit 120bpm when the v-tach kicks in and leads to fibrillation. It’s literally killing him because being smaller means his body isn’t at the critical mass it needs to be at to sustain his biological nuclear fission, which allows him to heal ridiculously fast and stay so unbelievably physically strong. His internal reactor isn’t a bottomless pit of energy, it can’t continue to zap him indefinitely.

Deep Sleep = the occasions when his heart fibrillates long enough that he loses consciousness. This was induced by the cadmium in 1984, which also stopped the internal shocks from happening, and he might have stayed down for good if that nuke didn’t go off in the sky and re-energize him.

Long Memory = his hyperthymestic memory, which is unusual even for his species; he is always journeying into his Long Memory and comparing today to The Old Days. 

His mate / beloved mate / Gift from the Wishing Star = Shezilla, who appeared to him one day out of seemingly nowhere. She is the most beautiful godzillasaur he has ever seen.

Wasting Sickness = cancer / tumors, called such because the sick person gets very thin and weak. He can smell the disease.

Mother = his saurian mother. She was blind and died of the Wasting Sickness when he was still a hatchling. In human terms, she had a brain tumor that caused terrible pain, caused her to have seizures and was in the process of destroying her optic nerves when she succumbed. It was his first exposure to death, but he was too Young to be traumatized by it like Father was.

Father = the first Godzilla who appeared in 1954 and was killed by the Oxygen Destroyer. He was at sea when the nuke mutated him, which woke him up into a state of disorientation and panic. He wandered across Odo island and Japan because he was in pain, scared and desperately looking for his son. Sadly, the little humans didn’t understand him when he popped his head over a hill and asked them if they saw his son. Instead, they ran away. He got angry and smashed through their strange forest in attempt to make them listen, and in response they killed him.  ----Side note: This Godzilla was the father of the ‘current’ Godzilla. His rampage across Japan is a direct result of the Futurians’ meddling because they caused him to search for his missing son instead of finding him where Shindo left him.

Metal One = MechaGodzilla

Little One = Baby Godzilla / Little Godzilla / Godzilla Jr. ----Side note: This godzillasaur is not Godzilla’s biological offspring, his real parents are long gone.

Pod = family

Marking = he has scent glands in the folds between his fingers that leave his scent behind when he scrapes his claws on something to mark an area as his. Part of why he destroys some of the same landmarks is they rebuild, which removes the scent, so he puts his scent back. ----Side note: A kaijuologist figured this out and notes that Godzilla is less likely to veer off his path and totally destroy a building that’s been sprayed with his scent after reconstruction, but it’s expensive to replicate the scent and most builders don’t apply it after rebuilding.

Patrolling = traveling old migration routes, which he uses the sun, stars and Earth’s magnetic fields to navigate through. Sometimes this takes him through cities, but most of the time he traverses rural areas or areas without any human population.

--- Beliefs ---

Spirit = soul / life force.

The Stars = the afterlife, eternity, Heaven, etc. He believes the stars in the sky are his ancestors’ Spirits, and the Milky Way is a giant forest everyone journeys to after they die.

The Wishing Star / Morning Star / Evening Star = Venus, whenever it’s up before dawn or after sunset. He reveres it the way people of faith revere their deity. He looked at it with longing any time he saw it in the sky, and believes doing so convinced it to give him Shezilla as a gift. Hence her being a Gift from the Wishing Star.

Evil Moon = a red, fully eclipsed moon. It is the antithesis of the Wishing Star. His Mother died during a lunar eclipse and the Fireball happened the day after one, so he associates lunar eclipses with bad things happening.

--- Nature stuff ---

Fire Mountain = volcano

Fire Mountain Smoke = ash or pyroclastic flow

Land Blood = magma and lava

Land Scab = lava that has cooled enough to stop glowing.

Land Heart = magma chambers deep under Earth’s crust

Land Song = the ultra low frequency vibrations of moving tectonic plates. He can hear ultra low and ultra high frequencies even beyond typical animals, so he hears distant earthquakes as music! (But they aren’t so nice when they happen underneath him, then it’s just shaking and noise.) He hears lava moving and knows a volcano is going to erupt long before it actually does. His hearing is magnified further underwater. He hears all the whale songs and dolphin clicks and any other noise that happens underwater, so when he dives he thinks the whole world sings to his heartbeat.

Land Scream = the ultra high and low frequency squeals that precede earthquakes under his current location. This hurts his ears, and instinct prompts him to try to leave the immediate area before the shaking starts.

Water Wind = tsunami, as experienced while underwater when it goes by. A big one can sweep him off course if he’s trying to swim through it. 

Flood Surge = tsunami, as experienced while on land or in shallow water. He can wade through it without a problem if the water is shallow enough to walk in. This can also refer to storm surge in the event of a hurricane making landfall.

Ancient Caves = prehistoric caves that are miles under the Earth’s crust. They are the closest thing he has to the world he remembers. Human eyes have never and will never see these enormous caverns. Sometimes he goes there and scrapes up precious stones (diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires, quartz, etc.) to give to Shezilla as gifts because she likes the pretty colors.

Rain Smell / Thunder Smell = the scent in the air when conditions are favorable for rainy / stormy weather. In other words, petrichor.

Big Rains = monsoons

Sea Storms = hurricanes

Mating of Sea and Sky / Mating of Land and Sky = waterspouts / tornadoes, described as such because their formation looks similar to the mating process between godzillasaurs.

Crackle = the tingly feeling from his body emitting a streamer during a thunderstorm. If it finds a step leader, he gets struck by lightning. Lightning strikes are hot and noisy, but don’t cause anything more than some burns. A strike to the face can give him flashbacks of the Flash and anger him into destroying whatever is in his path at that very moment. 

Falling Cold = snow

Cold Land = polar ice caps and glaciers

Slippery Cold Land = ice

Warm Season / Hot Season / Cool Season / Cold Season = Spring, summer, fall, winter.

Long Cold Season = ice age

Draw = magnetic fields, which he is sensitive to and uses to navigate in conjunction with the position of the sun or stars. As you can imagine, anything that emits magnetic pulses or unnatural magnetic fields will disorient him and he’ll go find out what’s ‘wrong’. This, along with bird call recordings, was used to lure him up Mt. Mihara in ‘84.

Draw Up = north

Draw Down = south

Horizons = east if he’s not following the sun, west if he is following the sun.

--- Human stuff ---

Bugs, zappers and stingers = the aircraft, land vehicles and watercraft that shoot at him. Solid projectiles are stingers. The maser tanks are the zappers.

Silver forests / strange forests / glowing forests = cities, they’re called glowing at night because of the lights.

Shiny trees / strange trees / glowing trees = skyscrapers, they’re called glowing at night because of the lights.

Boxes = buildings that are squarer in shape or not tall like skyscrapers.

Tiny boxes = buildings that aren’t tall, like you see in suburban areas.

Caves / Caverns = the insides of human dwellings.

Weird rocks = furniture

Shiny rocks = tiles

Scented sand = cat litter, he doesn’t mind the strange smell. He “goes” in it when he’s tiny and buries the results like cats do because he still has the instinct to not alert predators. The cat litter is the clumping sort that blocks some of the radiation and makes it safer to clean up after him. ----------Side note: Anything from inside Godzilla’s body is dangerously radioactive when he’s full size, but less so when he’s small. You’ll get radiation sickness if you try to pet full size Godzilla while wearing anything less than a HAZMAT suit, but he can be picked up and handled safely in someone’s bare when he’s tiny. Still, people wear gloves to handle him as a precaution.

Not-dirty dirt = carpets / rugs

Mud that isn’t sticky / weird mud = bedspreads

Artificial suns = lights

Colorful Light Box / Image Box = TV sets and computer monitors.

Talking box / howling box = phones

Transparent box = the aquarium he’s kept in while tiny.

Colored vines = cords, wires, cables or ropes.

Metal vines = chains, both for jewelry and holding stuff.

Artificial claws = eating utensils, like silverware and chopsticks.

Their kill = the food humans eat. Most of it looks and smells totally unappetizing, but he expects at least a bite if they’re having meat or fish. He finds it confusing that humans can walk around a corner and reappear with food without any signs of a hunt.

Weird worms = noodles

Hot mud = coffee, it smells and tastes nasty to him. He will literally gag from the smell if it’s really strong.

Outer skins / outer shells = clothes / HAZMAT suits

Molting = changing clothes, he thinks humans molt way too often.

Eye covers = goggles

Eye frames = glasses, both Kenpachiro and Goro wear them although their choice of frames are different. (Goro’s are plastic fully rimmed black rectangular frames, Kenpachiro’s are thin titanium semi-rimmed wayfarer frames.) 

Marking sticks = pens or pencils

Marking shapes = written words (in Japanese), he recognizes they have significance to the humans by how they create and react to them, but doesn’t understand the connection between writing and language.

--- Communication ---

Old Tongue = in essence, godzillasaur “language”. He uses purposeful vocalizations, facial expressions and body movements to “talk” to the humans when he’s tiny because he sees the Kenpachiro’s group as his Pod. A whole ‘sentence’ may be expressed simultaneously. If I were to translate Godzilla’s ‘language’ in a movie, it would be as subtitles. Much of his behavior is communication. ----Side note: Humans unknowingly speak Old Tongue a lot via their body language, facial expressions and tones of voice, but he gets lost with speech and the fact that humans react to each others’ vocalizations more than their gestures. That said, he uses pattern recognition to grasp the meaning of a few individual words, like responding to the specific syllables humans attribute to him and looking at who says his name, and the word stop. He picks up on the hand gestures used to train him in the lab, too. ----Extra note: A quick and dirty bit of Old Tongue-- if Godzilla tilts his snout down and looks upward at you, he’s signaling that he doesn’t trust you by getting his snout out of his visual field to watch you more closely. If he throws his head back when he roars, he’s angry! 

Mind Song = telepathic communication. Godzilla communicates with Miki Saegusa through memories, emotions and sensory information because he knows when she’s touching his mind. He's able to decide whether to welcome her in or kick her out and block her off, but 99% of the time he welcomes her in.

Mouth sounds / jabbering noises / chattering = human speech... he knows it is a form of elaborate vocal communication. He finds it annoying, overly complex and confusing.

--- The naughty stuff ---

Kiss = the act of touching or nuzzling noses. A nose to nose touch is like a little peck, while rubbing their noses together is more intimate.

Impressing = the mating display behavior. He circles her, shows off his sharp teeth, shows off his dorsal spines and flexes a bit to show off his big, strong muscles. Then he brings her Sustenance or food. It’s very much the godzillasaur equivalent of a pick up line followed by a romantic dinner. If she rejects his offerings, she’s rejecting him. But if she flicks her tail to the side and rubs her head against his neck after he does all that? Ooh, baby, he’s gonna get lucky!

In Season = fertility, they both emit pheromones that stink like garbage to humans, but it’s perfume to them! Shezilla goes into season 4 times a year and it lasts a week. Godzilla goes into season once a year for a day without Shezilla present, but her going into season triggers his hormones to shift too and he’ll stay in season until she goes out of it. They get really freakin’ horny and twitchy when in each others’ presence. When apart, Godzilla tends to be a bit more aggressive because sexual frustration is a thing, and Shezilla hunts and eats more traditional fare (sharks / whales) to store extra nutrients in case she conceives and lays an egg. Also, you can’t tell by looking at Shezilla when she’s in season, but Godzilla’s dorsal spines get a little bit longer and his muscles bulk up. ----Side note: The reason Godzilla changes outwardly and Shezilla doesn’t is it’s the guy’s job to impress the girl. Their chances of actually conceiving are small because of the radiation in their cells and mutated DNA. Godzilla’s sperm cells are so hyperactive and fast-moving that kaijuologists can’t get an accurate count, and the state of Shezilla’s egg cells are unknown. The only reason kaijuologists got a sperm sample at all is because gravity is a thing and the excess dripped out as soon as Shezilla stood up again after Godzilla toppled her onto a building to do the deed for the first time. (They’re animals, they will do it anywhere if the mood strikes!)

Being One / Making Life = mating. They mate via cloacal kiss, but they do it in something similar to the human missionary position because that’s the best way to line their vents up. Shezilla’s dorsal spines are smaller because she is the one who lays on her back and helps her big, klutzy boyfriend get into position on top of her using her teeth and claws. It doesn’t hurt him at all, nature made the exact spots she bites and grips into erogenous zones that encourage him to keep going. His feet go under her thighs and flank her tail, which are erogenous zones for her. He lines his vent up with hers by feel, everts the muscular inner walls of his cloaca into her vent and her muscles grab on to achieve a proper seal. Mating for them isn’t a ’touch cloacas and done’ deal, they stay in position for several minutes. There’s no humping action either, it’s all driven by internal muscle contractions. ----Side note: In my headcanon Godzilla fucks without a dick, get over it.

Touching Spirits / Union = the sensation humans know as an orgasm. Their bodies relax instead of tense up when they feel it happen because the endorphin flood puts them into an altered state of consciousness, and it keeps them from popping apart prematurely. The most movement they’ll do is a lot of tail twitching. For Godzilla, the sensation triggers the muscle contractions for release, and for Shezilla it creates suction that moves the sperm where it’s supposed to go to fertilize an egg cell. They thrash around or groom each other afterward because they feel a tiny bit high as their endorphin rush comes to an end. -----Side note: She comes when he does because his triggers hers, so they always experience it together.

One = the godzillasaur equivalent to marriage, which is consummated the first time a pair mates.

Vent = the cloaca. It closes tight and can’t be seen when not in use for mating or expelling waste. It’s located right in front of where their tails join their body. Godzillasaurs stand upright, so that is why they mate facing each other.

Life Material = the goo inside unhatched eggs, though it can also refer to semen.

--- Specific people ---

(Canon characters)

The Deserter = Yasukai Shindo, who saluted him on Lagos Island and left him while he was wounded. He sees Shindo as the one who abandoned him to the pain of the mutation process and it’s why he looked into Shindo’s eyes through the window before he killed him with the same bright light that made him hurt. He wanted Shindo to know that he remembered and hated him. ----Side note: Shindo never realized what Godzilla was thinking when they looked at each other through the high rise window. He accepted his fate as divine retribution because he felt responsible for 'creating’ a bigger, meaner Godzilla.

The Mind Singer = Miki Saegusa, the psychic woman who confuses and intrigues him greatly. He remembers seeing her as an adult before he got mutated, but later he saw her as a child inside the train car he picked up and threw aside in ‘84. He knows humans grow bigger and their hair turns white or falls out when they get old, but from his perspective Miki is aging out of order. Time travel is a concept beyond him, so he will never understand that she traveled to the past with the Futurians.  -------Side note: Miki doesn’t harbor ill will towards Godzilla even though her entire family was with her and died when he dropped the train car. She sensed no malice or cruelty in him, he was an animal doing what animals do, and holding a grudge would be like being angry with an earthquake or a tornado. As time goes on and she comes in contact with Godzilla more often, she comes to realize he is intelligent in his own way and experiences a broad range of emotions just like humans. This gives her a deep compassion towards him; he is lonely in his difference, same as her.

(OCs)

The Odd One = Kenpachiro Satsuma, an (adult diagnosed!) autistic kaijuologist who is lanky, geeky and tends to look a bit disheveled most of the time. He is a widow who deeply misses Momoko, his deceased wife. This is the guy who studies Godzilla very closely (special interest) because he truly wants to understand how he lives, communicates and experiences the world. He believes Godzilla is capable of more emotion than just anger and that humans can learn to coexist peacefully with him. Kenpachiro is the man who cloned Shezilla, so he understands the grief Godzilla is suffering through after her death and he regrets causing him that pain.  ----Side note: Kenpachiro has a teenage son named Akira. He tries to be a good father to the kid, but doesn’t know how to connect with him. As a result, Akira is sometimes belligerent and misbehaves in attempt to get his father’s attention. Godzilla sees the rift between them and will try to bridge it because he misses his own father.

The Cruel One = Goro Kurojima. A buff, broad-shouldered, intimidating guy with salt-and-pepper hair and a bushy mustache. This guy is Kenpachiro’s rival. He is an abusive sadist who wants to make Godzilla suffer until he dies as payback for the loss of his family in 1954. He doesn’t differentiate the ‘current’ Godzilla from the 1954 monster even though they aren’t the same creature. He attributes only malice to Godzilla’s behavior and does not believe Godzilla is capable of anything but hatred. He has untreated PTSD. Godzilla can sense the hatred this man has for him and he doesn’t like it. -----Side note: Having PTSD is not what makes Goro an abusive, sadistic villain. His choices to hurt those around him for his own personal gain are what make him a villain. He was just a kid coming home from school when the first Godzilla reduced his house and mother to ash right in front of him and stepped on the fiery rubble. He saw his mother’s skin melt. It haunts him. The PTSD actually humanizes him and explains where his pain comes from without excusing his behavior. 

The Gentle One / Mama = Reiko Fukamori, a veterinarian / kaijuologist who has feelings for Kenpachiro. She is a very plain, unassuming woman who doesn’t realize the full extent of Goro’s nastiness until he gets Godzilla into his clutches, so she is the one who sets things in motion by sneaking Godzilla away from the lab and into Kenpachiro’s hands. Her gentleness reminds Godzilla of his saurian mother. She talks to him a lot, and he is able to tell by her tone that she means him no harm.   ------Side note: Reiko’s veterinary experience lets her figure out Godzilla’s high muscle tone is neurological and that his heart defect is a dangerous problem for him while he’s tiny. She knocks Kenpachiro’s socks off with her suggested solution to keep him alive until the shrink ray begins to wear off. She is the one who introduces Godzilla to iodine-131, which she gives via an eye dropper while training him to follow simple voice commands / gestures so he’s easier to work with. She is the only person Godzilla chirps at. Their relationship becomes very similar to Baby and Asuza from Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla II.

--- Example narration ---

--- Akira’s lava lamp causes tiny!Godzilla to have a flashback of his youth. Kenpachiro has a tooth from the original ‘54 Godzilla that he uses as a shelf. It’s mentioned, so I figured I should give context. ---

Reflections of the magical red globules flickered across Godzilla's eyes. It took him far back to The Old Days before the Fireball. A time when the sky was red and trees touched the clouds. Godzilla was very young and tiny with ribs that stood out on his flanks.

A Big Tooth with its short arms and bad breath lunged at him. He stared at its slavering teeth, unafraid. Suddenly, a nearly black shape streaked into view. Father caught him by the scruff of his neck and sprinted away from the danger. Young Godzilla relaxed against the reassuring touch. Father's hot breath tickled the back of his neck as he ran. Oblivious to the Big Tooth snapping at Father's heels, young Godzilla shrieked in delight. Father ran so fast! He watched the brown and green streaks of trees fly by. 

Then Father ducked into the underbrush. It was muddy and cold, but Father swam through it like water. The Big Tooth would not walk out on this mud. Defeated, it crashed back into the jungle to find more suitable prey. Father slowly wriggled free on the other side of the mud. Young Godzilla thought the squishing sound it made was funny, but Father put him down and beckoned for him to follow. So young Godzilla stumbled behind his father, nipping at his ankles. He followed him up a grassy hill overlooking mountains. He was so tired when he got to the top that he collapsed, panting. 

The smell in this area was horrible and glowing red rivers boiled in the valley below. Father told him the glowing red stuff was Land Blood that came from the Land Hearts inside Fire Mountains.

Father bent to lap the mud off his hands and arms. Young Godzilla purred and squirmed as the big sandpaper tongue scraped the mud off his hide. Then Father beckoned him away, for it was time to hunt.

Father took him back to the Fire Mountain at night. They stood together and watched the giant sprays of glowing Land Blood shoot towards the stars. It was nothing more than glowing red rain! He ran forward and tried to catch some on his tongue. Father roared at him to come back. Land Blood was dangerous and not a toy! It had the power to both create and destroy.

Many seasons later, when Godzilla met his Gift from the Wishing Star, he laid over her to Make Life, and at the moment of Union his body erupted like a Fire Mountain. Afterward, the fierceness in her eyes and the gentleness of her Kiss made him forget The New World he found so unfamiliar. They were One, now and forever.

Reality crystallized. He blinked and refocused his eyes. That was not Land Blood shooting up; that was red slime inside a human contraption. The tooth beside him was not the strong jaws of Father carrying him to safety. He took a step back and saw his own reflection staring at him instead of his mate’s beautiful face. 

He was little again...but he would never be like he was before the Flash. 

The humans who lived in this giant cave were the closest thing he had to a Pod. And by the look of it the Odd One did not pay close attention to his young. He was ignorant to the younger one’s needs for attention. This ignorance would soon drive them apart.

Godzilla howled past the bitterness in his throat. He turned away from his reflection. Brokenness happened everywhere he went, and it would never stop.

--- One last note ---

Godzilla makes eye contact and reads emotions through eyes much like neurotypical humans do. Eye contact won’t provoke him like it does most animals unless a hostile move follows. He can read the emotions in a human’s eyes if he gets close enough to see them, and humans who survive eye contact with him swear he stared into their soul. Because he does.

[Yasukai Shindo looks out the window of his high rise office at Godzilla, who is right outside looking in. They are looking into each others’ eyes, though Godzilla’s are in shadow. Godzilla looks into Shindo’s eyes as he kills him with his radioactive breath. Shindo opens his arms and accepts his fate.]