#and also we live in a ten by ten box. so we all just sat on our dirty ass floor and silently watched howls moving castle

[escapistcatontheinternet]

420 hell today

[todayontumblr]

Thursday April 13th.

ffs neil will you stop banging out those damn tunes. it's the morning, for pete's sake

We won't ask you again, Neil—we have work first thing tomorrow and it is a big day at the office: we are presenting a keynote pointpower slideshow for the big cheese over at HQ to increase optimum brand synergy across all departments ahead of this upcoming 5th annual quarter in review, and we are getting pretty sick and tired you and that f*cking keyboard playing Clair de Lune (badly) on what you have apparently decided to be your very own live IRL ten-hour loop from early evening through the night until the break of day, because you are a rat, and rats are, of course, nocturnal!! 

*

It all began on April 13th, 2006. Neil's alarm went off at around 7:30pm, just as the human world was winding down for the day. He sat on the edge of his bed, yawned, stttrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetcchhed, cracked his fingers, and got to work. He tucked his tail beneath him and took his place at his grand, multi-colored piano, and began to play. And my goodness did he play. As if possessed by the spirits of the maestros of old, Neil's claws flowed up and down the keys in a manner not dissimilar to the ebb and flow of the oceans themselves. No one could believe their ears on that day, almost 20 years ago: after so much early promise, so much self-destruction, torment, and pain, Neil finally accomplished what so many knew he could do if only he could find it in himself to achieve it: he began banging out the tunes.

Only this was something of a pandora's box. It is, as we saw, nearly 20 years later—and Neil continues to bang them out with a vengeance, regardless of whether we have to be up early for work in the morning.  

*

It is April 13th, 2009. Neil continues to play, enraptured by the majesty of the melody expressed by the delicate touch of claw on key in primary-colored plastic. As Neil reaches the end of the day's performance, a young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that this is the young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is, inexplicably, only today he will be given a name.

His name is John. As was previously mentioned it is his BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about his room. He has a variety of INTERESTS. He has a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. He likes to program computers but he is NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. He has a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and is an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. He also likes to play GAMES sometimes. 

As day dawns, Neil closes the fallboard upon the keys of his instrument for another year. John goes to retrieve his arms. And the rest, as they say, is history.

*

It's April 13th, folks. You know what that means: it's time for #homestuck and #neil banging out the tunes.  

Go bananas x

[greatsharklamia]

Part One

Rafe x Y/N imagine

Summary: Rafe and Y/N have been hooking up for months, and somewhere it's turned into something more. You practically live together, and don't sleep with other people ,but one night Rafe lets Ruthie get under his skin.

Featuring: FWB, Dickhead Rafe, Adulthood

Warnings: NSFW, panty stealing, self play, swearing. Rafe is kind of a dick in this (he'll probably get a little better soon)

Your phone buzzed. Again. The third time in the last ten minutes but you ignored it. He’d made his bed and now he could lie in it. 

The pun made you laugh, but it was a sad sound. You were better than this. ‘Never trust a man,’ you messaged in your friends group chat. 

Now you’d be mature about it. 

He didn’t deserve to see your snapchats, or insta posts, and you were quick to remove him. Not going so far as to block him, that would be too much, your insta account was private anyway. Then you took the real plunge, and blocked and deleted his number from your phone. 

Next was deleting the texts you’d sent each other over the 6 months you’d been fooling around. But first you couldn't help but scroll through them. 

‘Spend the weekend with me. I’ll take you to get your nails and hair done on Saturday, and then we can go out to dinner.’ ‘God you looked fucking stunning today. I’ve been hard all afternoon thinking about you. Why don’t you come over and help me out.’ Or your personal favourite ‘check your front door, I’ve had something delivered.’ When you’d opened the door you’d found roses and a house key for his condo. 

You clicked delete on the thread of texts. Months of flirtation, deep talks and sexting disappeared. 

The next task proved to be the hardest. A large Prada shopping bag sat in the corner of your room. The bougiest and also cheapest rubbish bag known to man. It was perfect; though currently it was full of waterlogged tissues. Grabbing them up, along with the half empty box of tissues, you disposed of them in the bathroom bin and put the tissues away under the sink. 

There wouldn’t be anymore tears shed over Rafe Cameron. 

For the last time, you let yourself into Rafes condo. 

He was at a business dinner that evening, and you knew that it would run late. They always did. And now it gave you ample time to scrub any trace of yourself from his life. 

Entering the bedroom you just looked at the large bed in the centre. So many fond memories flooded back, but you shook them off. It was the closet you were here for. Upending the Prada bag on the bed, Rafes life at your place tumbled out. You’d sort that out in a moment. 

There was a more pressing issue to see to. 

Once upon a time the walk in closest had brought you such joy. Not only was it massive, Rafe was always shooing you in there to see what new thing he’d brought you. 5 times out of 10 it then turned into amazing, passionate sex. 

Anything that you hadn’t taken back to your house was stored in there. 

You’d thought long and hard about what to do. They were gifts, but you didn’t feel right keeping them. You also didn’t feel right leaving them in his wardrobe as a reminder of you. 

It’s what had delayed this trip. 

In the end the only thing you could think of was to give most everything to his sisters. They had always been super friendly with you, and they understood why you were doing it. Sarah would be meeting you at John Bs after this to grab the clothes, and her and Wheezie would sort through them. Anything they didn't want they would organise to have sold, and the money would end up back in Rafes wallet. 

Tears had been shed thinking of your beautiful things being sold. But needs must. 

Before long the bag was overflowing with clothes, shoes and a few accessories. You hurried back to the bed and stashed the bag beside it. It would join a much smaller bag of Rafes gifts in the back of your car. For now you had to put away Rafes clothes. 

You’d washed everything in the most basic, non scented detergent you could find, and had forgone wearing perfume for this task. You were going to extremes you knew it, but he’d broken your heart. He didn’t deserve a single piece of you. 

Once you’d put his stuff back in the closet you took one last look and closed the door behind you. It was short work clearing the bedside table; a single paper back novel rested there. You hadn’t finished it yet, so you were going to hold onto it for a little while longer before giving it to Sarah. 

The bathroom was next, and you cleared it of your shower products, skin care, makeup and feminine items. 

You’d not left anything in the living room, or any other areas of the condo. While Rafe had always been surprisingly welcoming about having you in his space, you’d been well aware that it was just a fling. And you hadn’t wanted to step too far outside of your bounds. 

There was some part of you that was happy for your forethought. It made this hurt less.

The kitchen was spotless as always, except for a plate in the sink, and a empty pizza box sitting on top of the bin. There wasn’t much you had here, a bottle of creamer in the fridge and a jar of peanut butter in the pantry. Neither were things Rafe liked, but he was happy enough that you’d brought them with you. 

Since it was your money that had brought the items, you tucked them into your handbag, and grabbed the flowers out of the vase on the dinning table. A gift from Rafe before everything had gone down, they were only just starting to wilt. Not that it mattered to you. Cleaning the vase and putting it back, you had plans to put the flowers in the neighbours rubbish bin as you left. 

Only one thing remained. 

You reached into your pocket, pulling out your keys. It took a moment of fidling to get Rafes condo key off and you wasted no time in hanging it on the key rack beside the spare car key. Thankfully your dad had taught you how to handle tools. It had made changing the locks at your place a breeze. 

Finally you let yourself out, stopping only to bin the flowers, and then you were home free. 

Rafe was tired. Talks over dinner had been frustrating to say the least. He got what he wanted, but it hadn’t been as easy as it should have been. And you hadn’t been responding to his messages. He realised that he may have fucked up a little bit, but it didn’t excuse ignoring him. 

A knock on the door broke his train of thought, and when he opened it he was disappointed to see Sarah, though not surprised. You would have just let yourself in with your key. 

“What do you want Sarah,” Rafe sighed. Sarah just looked at him, taking in the tired expression and then pushed past him. “Of course, just let yourself in,” he mumbled closing the door behind her. 

She was standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed and a pissed off expresion on her face when he turned around. 

“Are you going to tell me what your problem is, or are you just going to stand there?” 

She scoffed, “my problem is that you had something really great, and you ruined it for your dick, and that scank.” 

Rafe groaned, knowing what this was about.

“I don’t have time for this shit,” he said, relaxing back into the couch, in a manner that contradicted his statement. 

“Oh, well in that case I’ll just let myself out and you can go back to pinning about Y/N,” she turned to leave, puishing down the smug smile. She knew her brother too well. 

“Wait,” Rafe ran a hand over his head. “What do you know?”

“Probably more than you,” she said joining him on the couch. “I’m only helping you because you were both happy, and when you’re happy you're less of a dick. Putting it simply, you slept with the only person on the island that Y/N hates, and - hush,” Sarah held up a hand to cut of her brother when he tried to interrupt. “And, when Kelce and Topper asked you about it, in front of everyone mindue, you said that you were single and could do what you wanted.” 

“I was drunk though,” Rafe argued. As if that made any difference. “And I am single.” Even as he said it, he knew that he was being a dick. 

Sarah grasped her hands together to keep from smacking the shit out of Rafe. “You say you’re single. But you don’t act it. Y/N practically lives here, you buy her everything she could ever want, pay her phone bill and contents insurance, and have not dated anyone else in the entire time you two have been together.” 

“So. She’ll get over it. I was going to ask her to move in, but I got drunk and Ruthie knows how to push my buttons. When she made an argument that I was pussy whipped, everyone else agreed. I have an image to uphold Sarah, you know that.” 

She almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her brother was a fucking idiot. She’d always thought he’d been dropped on his head as a baby, but this just proved it. 

“I’ll give her the rest of the day to cool off, and then tomorrow I’ll call her and ask her to move in,” the idiot said. 

“And then what? Are you dating? Just friends with benefits, but make it roomates?” 

Rafe was getting sick of this questioning. It wasn’t helping any. 

“Dating. She knows how I feel about her. I made a mistake, but she won’t hold it against me, because she feels for me what I feel for her.” 

Damn, if Sarah didn’t feel bad for Rafe. He’d never had the chance to see a healthy relationship, and it had messed with his perception of love. And now she’d have to be the one to shatter his illusion that this was okay. 

“Rafe. Y/N is done with you. Look around,” she gestured widely. “Maybe she could have made peace with you sleeping with Ruthie,” mentally she added, ‘not really’, “But you let Ruthie shit talk her. Theres no coming back from this.” 

The anger that flared across Rafes face just served to piss Sarah off more. “Whatever, its clear that it was a mistake to come here and talk to you. Don’t come crying to me when you realise that you’ve ruined the only good thing in your life.” 

Rafe didn’t even bother watching as Sarah stormed out. He had more important things to worry about. But first he was dying for a beer and a cold shower. 

He clocked the missing flowers as he opened the fridge but shrugged it off, swallowing back a large mouthful of beer. The missing shower products took a little longer to become obvious, and it wasn’t until he was dripping on the bath mat that he noticed your toothbrush was gone. 

He had already somewhat expected it. 

All of this could be explained away. You were mad, and had taken your necessities home to sulk. 

It was upon entering the bedroom that he started to worry. Every little piece of you was gone. The photo frame on the dressing table was empty; even your umbrella, which hung on the back of the door was gone. And you hated using umbrellas because they alkways turned inside out when you used them. 

His mind could explain it all away as a temper tantram, and then he opened the wardrobe. Thats when he realised that he had really fucked up. Your clothes were gone, and his night was about to get worse. 

He opened his shirt draw and on top, neatly folded was your favourite shirt. It was one of the few items that Rafe would let you wear of his, preferring to dress you in brand new things. The nights you weren’t curled up in bed with Rafe, you were sleeping in that shirt; and now it was back in his drawer. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, turning and punching the wall without a thought. The plaster cracked, leaving a visible hole. “Fuck,” he repeated. He’d need to fix that before you were next over. No need for you to see proof of him loosing his cool. 

His hand ached as he dressed himself but it was a satisfying throb that promised to only grow worse without care. It could wait. He had flowers to buy and an apology to make. You could doctor him up later. 

You didn’t know if you were surprised or not to see him standing on your doorstep. 

All you had done since leaving Sarah was think and read self help articles. And how this next talk went would determine how you would move forward with Rafe. 

Not that you wanted to date him now. No. You respected yourself too much for that. 

You refused to let him in at first, but his apologies, so pretty and plentiful did turn your head, you will admit. It was hard to say no, you’d been in love with Rafe for long enough that you felt physically ill not being with him. 

To your right you saw the curtains of your neighbours house move. You were being spied on by your own neighbours. “In,” you ground out, stepping back and waving him in. 

It was hard, trying not to regret it, but you ignored your inner voice calling you dumb. 

“I’ll put these in a vase,” Rafe said, sauntering past you with a smugness that might have once made you wet, but now made you want to smack him right in the jaw. He was oblivious to these thoughts though, carrying the admittedly stunning flowers to the kitchen. Annoyed with his audacity, you planted yourself on the couch and affected an air of boredom. 

He could finish his apology and leave, you had plans with the girls to go out get shitfaced, and never think about dating again. Plans had already been building in your head. You would become a sugar baby to a hot older man, and live out your life in the condo he paid for. 

But none of that mattered right now. Right now the man you were in love with was lowering himself onto the couch across from where you had strategically sat; the tiny, worn armchair that didn’t match anything you owned. 

“I’m sorry Y/N. I got drunk with Kelce and Topper, and you know what Ruthie is like, she knows how to push my buttons. When she made an argument that I was pussy whipped, everyone else agreed. I have an image to uphold, you know that.” Had you known that his apology was practically verbatim what he had told Sarah earlier, you would have been even angrier. 

Though, as it was you were pretty fucking mad. 

“You have an image to uphold?” Rafe might not have been the idiot his sister had accused him of being, because he could tell that he’d just made a mistake. He cut you off, “no, no, what I meant was.” But he didn’t get to finish. “Do not cut me off Rafe,” you spit out. “I’m going to lay it out in a way you might understand.” 

You leaned forward and gave him the angriest look he had ever seen. And his father was Ward Cameron. 

“We weren't dating, but we haven’t seen other people since we started seeing each other. We stay at each others places most nights and go out on dates. We haven’t been using a condom, because we weren’t seeing other people.” Your voice got loud toward the end, so taking a deep breath you calmed yourself. 

“When I get asked out I say ‘oh sorry, I’m unavailable.’ And you know what you did? You slept with Ruthie in Toppers bathroom, and afterward listened to her shit talk me in front of all of your friends, and you said nothing. At the same time, I was asleep in your bed waiting for you to come home.” Shaking your head you continued, “so yes, you are single Rafe,” the direct mention of his announcement at Toppers made him wince, “and its my own fault for thinking that we were more than we were. But that doesn’t mean that you let your friends say horrible shit about me.”

Sighing, you stood from your chair and crossed your arms. “So Rafe, I think that clearly your image, and your friends come before me. And I deserve to be put first. So I’d like you to grab your flowers, leave my house, and never darken my door again.”

For a moment it seemed like he was going to ignore your wishes, but he must have seen the absolute fury you were holding back, because he just stood and followed you to the front door. He ignored the flowers you tried to thrust back at him. Instead he stepped forward into your space, placing a small kiss on your forehead. His moment of calm was interrupted when your hand shot out and stabbed him right in the throat. 

The pure joy you felt as his face went red and he chocked out coughs was invigorating. They could have bottled that shit up and sold it for thousands of dollars.

Your laughter echoed in Rafes ears as you slammed the door in his face.

Once home Rafe bypassed the couch and headed straight for the bed, throwing himself on it and pulling his prize out of his pocket. A pair of your panties straight from the washing hamper, which he’d stolen while putting the flowers in water. Its the only time he’d appreciated that you lived in a shoebox. 

They weren’t his favourite panties of yours, in fact he’d noticed none of the things he’d brought you, but that was an issue to think on tomorrow. For now, he’d been hard the whole time he’d been talking to you, but damn if that throat jab didn’t almost finish him off.

Plus the smell of you, the sight of you in a small threadbare robe. He groaned, throwing his head back as he palmed himself through his pants. God he loved that robe. In the right light it was see through and it was clear that you hadn’t been wearing a bra earlier. He pulled himself out and inhaled your panties roughly before folding them over his hard, leaking cock. His aching hand stroked softly. 

It never entered his mind to use his other hand, ambidextrous as he was. No, to use his aching hand was a punishment and Rafe relished the pain.

His free hand crept up to his throat, and as he felt that familiar tightening in his gut he squeezed tight, cutting of his airsupply. Black spots swum in his vision as he raced toward the finishline. Speeding his hand up Rafe chocked for air. And then came, thick ropes of cum coating the panties. 

Weak and shaking Rafe took his time to unhook the panties from his cock, groaning when he pulled too hard on the sensitive head. He’d not needed to take himself in hand for the longest time. You were always there to help him out. 

Thoughts spiraling again Rafe stood from the bed, there was a file from the business dinner that needed his attention before he could go to sleep. 

Absentmindedly he pushed the soiled panties into his mouth, sucking on the combined taste of you and him, but after a second he pulled them back out. He needed to concentrate, and that was only going to keep him distracted. No matter how much he wanted to hold your panties in his mouth all night, he’d need to put it on the backburner. 

The sooner he got his work done, the sooner he could make a plan to win you back. 

Note: That's part one done and dusted. Part two to come soon, and that might wrap it up. I'm not quite sure yet.

[holmesianlove]

5. Five Golden Rings

The case had indeed been interesting. A man, found dead in a house that he, seemingly, had no connection to at all. His wife had reported him missing and a dead body had been reported, found in a nearby town, both reports of which, coincidentally aligned . After the wife had given the positive ID, the challenge had been to discover why he had ended up in that particular house.

In fact, it turned out that several people had reported the same man missing. Three days later, they had established the man had, in fact, married himself off to four different people. Three now very unhappy women and, surprisingly, a man as well.

None of them were happy about this news but it surprised Sherlock to see how very unhappy it made John.

They were sitting in a spare conference room at the Yard, waiting for Lestrade to finish a phone call. Sherlock sat on the corner of the long conference table, his feet on a chair, and John was seated a little further up the table, playing with the evidence bag that contained the five golden rings - from the four widows and the victim.

“It makes me so angry… that someone would…” John stopped himself fidgeting and left the bag on the table, sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms.

Sherlock watched him in silence, giving his flatmate his full attention. Thankfully, for the sake of their friendship, Sherlock had been right. They had experienced two uncomfortable days and by the third day, John’s skin looked only a bit sallow. In the right light you could still see a tinge of green there but otherwise, he was all but back to normal.

“Why angry?” Sherlock prompted.

“Well firstly, because marriage should be sacred. If someone chooses to commit to it, it should be performed before God as a sacred commitment. How did he get away with four? And a man too?”

“I didn’t take you for a bigot John.” Sherlock raised his brow.

“No… not… Not like that… I just…” he sighed. “I have some ingrained personal issues to work on, clearly.”

“I had no idea you were so traditional, or religious. You never talk about that,” Sherlock said quietly.

John sat in silence, deep in thought. The weight of the world seemed to be on his shoulders.

“When we met, you said… That it was all fine. But it’s clearly not, is it?” Sherlock said, his voice dropping to almost a whisper.

John frowned. “I don’t see what this has to do with that?”

Sherlock looked at him, trying to gauge where John’s head was at. He wasn’t connecting any dots at all. But to Sherlock, the connection was as clear as day. John wasn’t only defensive about his sexuality, he was seemingly struggling with seeing it in other people too. “Do you really have a problem with the fact that he married a man?”

“I have more of a problem that he… married four people, honestly. And they didn’t know… and he was…” John rubbed a hand over his face trying to wrestle with and communicate his thoughts in real time. “Medically speaking, he put them all at risk. They loved him in good faith, and now, all four spouses have to go through STI tests, HIV testing… He’s made a mess of their lives. Imagine finding out you just lost your spouse… but that he was also cheating, all at the same time. And so much of it!”

“And morally?” Sherlock prompted.

John shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what I think, does it? He’s dead and he’s left a mess behind.”

Sherlock knew John had a complicated relationship with his family and the church and had always been cagey about his sexuality and placing both himself and Sherlock in certain boxes to reconcile with things inside his head. John’s ridiculous “not gay” rants whenever any innuendo was placed at their feet, and a series of other passing comments, had made it very clear to Sherlock, that John had a lot of issues to work through. He decided it was best to let the topic go for now at least.

“And second?” he asked instead.

“Second?” John looked confused.

“You were angry about the Ten Commandments apparently…”

John flashed him an irritated look. “That’s not��“

“… and secondly?” Sherlock prompted again.

John reached out and grabbed the bag off the table and held it up. “Somebody died, and all I can think about is that bloody irritating carol… Twelve Days of Christmas? Five gold rings? It’s looping in my head,” John said. He looked up at Sherlock with a comically pained expression all of a sudden.

Sherlock burst out laughing and John couldn’t help following along.

“I know, I know. Terribly inappropriate,” he choked out between giggles.

Lestrade chose this moment to find them. He frowned. “I see you two are giving this case your usual level of focus.”

Sherlock held up a hand in apology as they settled their giggling.

“It seems a neighbour had a security camera. We need to interview wife number two. Coming?” Lestrade asked. “If you can hold it together, that is.” He turned on his heel and left.

Sherlock gave a little jump from the table and straightened his coat while John stood, pushing in his chair and pocketing the five gold rings in their little bag. He headed for the door first and behind him he heard Sherlock hum the last line of the carol for his benefit. He couldn’t help snorting, and flashed Sherlock a look of warning as they went on their way.

——

@notjustamumj @lisbeth-kk @helloliriels @totallysilvergirl @221beloved @safedistancefrombeingsmart @givemesherbet-blog-blog @naefelldaurk @a-victorian-girl @phoenix27884 @peanitbear @starlitkeys

[sc0tters]

New Cities Mean Fresh Starts, Right? | Jack Hughes

summary: you’ve finally moved to New Jersey and whilst most people seem happy to see you, one man in particular doesn’t. And did you forget? He’s your new neighbour!

warnings: swearing

word count: 1.21k

authors note: we have been waiting but the first chapter of the brutal series is now here! It’s a little bit shorter than what I would have wanted but nevertheless I like the ground roots it has set for the rest of the series. This is an interactive AU so you guys are the ones who drive the blurbs and social media posts for this series!

brutal masterlist

You watched as Alex brought the last of the boxes up to your apartment.

The frown was clear on your face as he looked back up to you “we promised that you wouldn’t cry!” Alex groaned at the sight of your lip quivering “c’mere,” he sighed holding his arms out for you to come and hug him.

It took you like less than ten seconds to respond as you ran over to him almost tackling your best friend in the process “it’s not too late for you to come back to LA with me.” Alex reminded you as he squeezed your waist.

This was a common moment for you two as he let his hands slide up to cup your face “I gotta stay here Al,” you mumbled placing your hands on top of his.

He smiled nodding “was worth a shot,” Alex shrugged making you laugh “and are you sure you don’t want me to have a talk with Jack?” The Kings player added as the idea of you being left alone with Jack made him feel sick.

Sure Alex liked his friend when it came to the way Jack was around you, Alex felt better being there to tell him to lay off. The older boy felt like it was his job to protect you “I can handle him!” You complained rolling your eyes.

Being Jacks new coworker was not exactly something you were looking forward to, but your position with the Devils was a promotion from the one with the Kings and the money was also better here. So Jack was going to have to put up with you like how you planned to put up with him “just let me know if he gets too much for you.” Alex mumbled taking the cap from his head and placing it on yours.

That black cap of his was on the top of the list of clothing items that you stole from Alex whenever you went into his closet. You had the blue version of his hat but Alex’s was always your favourite “you finally letting me keep this one?” You gasped dropping your jaw as your eyes lit up.

Alex nodded as he let out a laugh “we can have split custody for it.” He proposed wriggling his eyebrows as he made you smile.

“I can get behind that.”

Your first night in your apartment was rough to put it lightly. Alex had left to go back to LA which meant that you were living on your own for the first time in your life since you had living with your best friend from the moment you left university.

New Jersey was humid in the morning as you sat on your balcony enjoying a much needed coffee and Redbull as you swore you only got three hours of sleep all together.

It was peaceful at you watched the city wake up beneath you “mom just listen to me!” Your neighbour groaned slamming the door behind him as he walked onto his own balcony.

Your eyes went wide at the disruption turning to see the what was going on “I think she’s here!” The voice all of a sudden began to sound familiar.

It was Jack.

You were quick to slide onto the floor as you tried to avoid being caught by him “I think I’ve got a new neighbour.” Jack mumbled as he had heard you hit the floor.

There was a mental coin toss going on in your brain as you contemplated what to do “fuck it,” you grumbled getting up as you brushed your fingers through your hair.

What you didn’t expect was that he’d be looking right back at you “I’ve got to go.” The Devils players eyes went wide as he stared at yours.

But before he got the chance to talk to you your legs had already pushed you back into your apartment leaving the boy alone with nothing more than the mug from your coffee and your empty can of Redbull “move into the place with no neighbours they said, it’d be fun they said.” He grumbled to himself slamming the glass door behind him.

Today was going to be a long day for the both of you.

Sure you knew what you were doing was going to piss Jack off but you were friendly with Luke and wanted to have at least one friendly face at work.

short stack 😎: howdy neighbour ����

tall shot 🦅: what.

tall shot 🦅: NEIGHBOUR?!

Your couldn’t help but laugh as your phone began to ring with Luke’s contact information lighting up your phone “hey tall shot,” you smiled walking into the prudential centre for your introductory meeting with the players as the previous photographer had apparently been integrated pretty well amongst everyone.

Luke shut the door behind him as he obviously didn’t want Jack to hear about this “you better not be fucking with me short stack.” The nickname was something he had called you for the last three years from the moment he overtook you in height. It started off as a joke when he had said it since there was the guy who was trying to flirt with you and Luke came to your rescue and the joke his came from there.

You giggled hearing his words “you think I’m lying?” You asked smiling as you sat on your chair “come and visit the media office when you get to the centre.” You proposed grinning to yourself.

The youngest Hughes boy chuckled to himself “I’ll be there in a bit shortie.” His tone was serious as he now looking forward to all of those fitness tests that he was going to be put through.

What you didn’t know media day meant was that you were going to be forced to be stood alone with each of the players individually.

John and Nico and each offered to show you around the city and of course you accepted on both occasions because Luke’s inevitable tour was going to be to the nearest Costco and maybe to the apartment building gym “who should I send in next?” John asked sending you a toothy grin as he grabbed his jersey to pull over his head.

You looked at the list of player you had left “little Hughesy would be nice,” you proposed ready to see the youngest Hughes boy again “you got it!” He called out walking to the door “oh one more thing.” John spun around to face you as he smiled.

Your head tilted up to look up at him “yep?” You cocked your chin as you sent him a grin “you’re gonna fucking smash it!” His words of encouragement made you laugh as he walked out of room.

With the little time you had left to try to work on things in preparation for Luke’s arrival as you pulled his jerseys off of their stack “pretty sure that you’ve got the wrong Hughes jerseys.” The voice came from the door causing you to drop the hanger on the floor.

You spun around so fast that you almost fell over “now do you mind telling me what the fuck you are doing in Jersey?” Jack asked letting the door slam shut behind him.

Fuck.

[breezii2176]

I Want You

Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

18+ Minors DNI

~Marauder’s all live and Harry is basically a newborn~

“Y/n can you hold him for a moment?” Lily asked as she walked towards her best friend.

Y/n smiled and held out her arms, ready to hold the young sleeping boy, cradling him to her own chest. She was completely entranced by him, slowly slipping into her thoughts and out of reality.

Thoughtlessly she travelled through the Potter’s house and sat on the couch, not once looking away from Harry. She hadn’t realised everyone had sat around her until someone reached out to her.

“Hey n/n? You okay baby?” Sirius spoke as he gently laid his hand on her shoulder, bringing her out of her thoughts.

“Hmm?” She asked, now staring at her lover.

“I asked if you were okay, you’ve been stuck in your thoughts about ten minutes now.” Sirius chuckled as Y/n blushed, slightly embarrassed at how long she’d been in her thoughts.

“So when can we expect a little one out of you two eh?” James broke the silence, he was sat on the arm chair slightly to the left of them with Lily sat on his lap and his arms around her middle.

“A mini Y/n would be utterly delightful.” Remus spoke as he stared at the unmarried couple.

“We aren’t even marri-“ Y/n was cut off as Sirius spoke up.

“Whenever she says she’s ready, I’m happy to start trying when she tells me.” Sirius winked at her after speaking.

His words replayed in her head, all she could do was stare at him, Sirius never had stated he’d wanted children and now this?

Y/n stood and padded over towards James and Lily, passing Harry over to them before going to sit next to Sirius once again.

She leaned her head on his shoulder, angling herself to lie against him with her legs over his own. Sirius smiled and kissed the crown of her head, holding her close to him.

“I’m not sure when we’ll have children.” Y/n spoke softly, her hand that was held between her and Sirius unconsciously moving to hold her stomach.

Sirius took note yet said nothing, opting to just hold her tighter. Everyone around nodded in understanding, changing the topic to any and everything.

Time flew by as their laughter filled the house, the five adults not having a care about anything going on in the outside world. Some time after the sun had set is when Remus bid his farewell, hugging all of his friends and placing a kiss on Harry’s forehead.

“We should get a move on too.” Sirius spoke, nodding in Lily and James’ direction before leading you both toward the front door.

“We’ll see you again soon.” Y/n spoke, grabbing her coat and reaching for the front door.

“We look forward to it, stay safe and goodnight.” Lily replied.

Y/n and Sirius walked with his arm around her waist, holding her close. They stayed in a comfortable silence for a short while before she spoke up.

“I didn’t know you wanted a family.” Y/n kept looking ahead, missing the shock that crossed Sirius’ face.

“I didn’t either until I met you, I thought James was all the family I needed but then you waltzed in and changed everything. I’d give anything so long as it meant I’d be yours for as long as you’d have me.” Sirius stopped walking, turning to face the woman he loves as she also came to a stop.

“Siri what are you doing?” She questioned, rolling her eyes before gasping, covering her mouth as tears welled in her eyes.

“Y/n L/N, you are the love I could’ve never asked for,” Sirius paused as he knelt down, reaching into one of his pockets, “I wish to spend the rest of our lives together, to make many memories, to travel and do whatever your heart desires, so please I ask, will you marry me?”

Sirius opened the little black velvet box, an antique ring that has clearly been passed down in the Black family, sat within.

Words failed her as she just nodded and leapt into his arms, kissing him passionately trying to convey her emotions into the kiss.

“I love you of course I’ll become your wife,” She radiated her happiness, “I have but one question, how on earth did you get this ring from your family?”

“Reggie.” He answered shortly, slipping the extravagant ring onto her finger, shockingly fitting near perfect.

~~~~~

A few days had passed and they hadn’t yet told a soul, staying within the confines of their own home celebrating in their own way.

“Stop teasing please.” Sirius groaned, his hands tied to the headboard, their naked bodies grinding against one another.

She giggled in return, fingernails gently raking down his chest, leaning in she left soft fleeting kisses along his neck and jaw. Her hips slowly moving back and forth, his erection twitching against her heat.

“No, I like it when you beg.” Y/n whispered, sucking a hickey on his soft spot. Sirius’ moans filled the room, his hips bucking up into hers trying to get some more friction.

“Please Y/n, I fucking need you. Let me inside your tight cunt please baby.” Sirius whimpered as she lifted herself off of him, moving down his body and leaving kisses in her wake.

“Let me have a little more fun first.” She whispered, grabbing his cock by the base and giving it a firm squeeze.

His long length twitched once again, leaking some pre cum as she leaned in and licked from base to tip before taking his head in her mouth. Gently sucking and licking his tip she went no further than that, pumping the rest of him with her hand.

Y/n hummed and released his tip with a pop, crawling back onto his lap and pulling him into a fiery kiss, their tongues and teeth clashing as she lowered herself onto him, sitting herself snug onto his lap.

Sirius moaned as he finally got sheathed inside of her, the smallest of tears coming to his eyes from being so overstimulated.

“Poor Siri, let me make you come undone for me. I want you to paint my walls white.” Y/n whispered into his ear, licking the shell.

Sirius only nodded completely in a daze as she rode him, alternating between fast bouncing and slowly grinding. She was using him to chase her own climax and he knew it, revelling in knowing that and helping him reach his own climax faster.

Y/n held onto Sirius with one hand as she reached for her wand with the other, still riding him as she grabbed her wand undoing his binds before throwing her wand away once again.

“I’m close, make me cum.”

Her breathless pants and high pitched moans were all that left her body as Sirius flipped them, grabbing onto her hips and ramming himself inside of her at an ungodly fast pace.

His right hand slipping between their bodies and playing with her clit, drawing fast circle on it as he felt her pussy clench and throb with want around him.

His name leaving her like a prayer as she came around him, her legs shaking and even in her overstimulated state with her pleas of not being able to handle more, Sirius knew she could.

He didn’t stop or slow with his ministrations for a second, fucking her tired body straight into another high and still tubbing her abused clit.

By the time of her second orgasm, her clenching had Sirius spill himself into her. He slowed his thrusts down before coming to a stop, staring at her spent body before pulling out.

Watching his cum slip out of her cunt made him perplexed, loving the eighth and yet hating that it’s not staying inside and traveling to try and make a child.

Sirius groaned and reached between her legs and she squealed and tried to close them, his fingers pushing his seed back into her sensitive hole, making sure it is all out to good use before he leans down and starts lapping at her clit.

“Siri I can’t take anymore.. too much Fuck!” Despite her words she hand a smile on her face and spread her legs a little more.

“Oh I’m nowhere near done with you tonight my love and you will give me many more orgasms tonight.”

[marmixedwithabitofintellect]

Long Live

Happy end of tour H! You deserve the break! I hope you enjoy the blurb so so much! Come talk to me about it! All my love, as always, for you

July 23, 2023

Harry. Reggio Emilia, Italy. 12:00 AM.

 As soon as the lock opened and the door pushed open, I let out a breath of relief and turned to kiss the side of Pippa’s head, who had snuggled as soon as I lifted her from her car seat, Y/N was just behind me with JJ still in hers, while Rachel, our nanny, brought in the diaper bags and stroller.

We all stopped in the foyer and smiled, Y/N was the first to speak in a hushed tone, “Rachel thank you for everything, please go rest and tomorrow enjoy your day, we will probably stay in bed all day until the party”, she smiled, “Thank you, for everything, this has been an amazing journey and I am so excited for you guys”.

Harry and I smiled and squeezed her arm, we parked the stroller and grabbed the diaper bag and made our way up the stairs. Once in our bedroom I kissed Pippa’s head and laid her down, making sure she had her bunny and binky with her and put a blanket over her lower torso.

Y/N was pulling JJ out of her car seat and kissing her chubby cheeks, then whispered, “Hi bug, are you wanting to party with mum and dad?”, I smiled and walked to her and kissed her temple and reached for the baby while Y/N went to change her outfit.

I walked over to the makeshift changing table and started chatting with my baby, “Hi JJ, hi baby, did you enjoy the show? Did daddy sing good?”, she cooed a little and I finished changing her, picked her up and kissed her cheeks, which had increasingly grown in the last month.

Y/N walked out of the bathroom and smiled, she walked to us and kissed my back while I ran my hand down my back, “Do you want to take a shower and get ready for bed?”, I turned to look at her, “Can I feed her? if you need to I don’t mind but I would love to”, Y/N shook her head and smiled, “Absolutely baby, there’s a bottle in the insulation bag, I’ll pump no problem”.

I smiled at her and reached for the bottle, the settled in the bed and started feeding JJ, I still couldn’t believe she was here, and how much she looked like me and how much I loved her, Pip, and my lover. This last leg of tour had been a crazy ride, full of worry and a lot of tears from both grown-ups and infants alike.

But alas everything comes to an end, and now, I couldn’t wait to just watch my girls grow up. Once JJ finished feeding, I burped her and laid her down over my knees. I still remember how much I loved doing this with Pip, the moment where she was teeny and awake and also falling back asleep.

Y/N came back into the room and after finishing her night routine she sat down next to me, she kissed JJ’s cheeks and mine before speaking up, “What are you thinking about?”, I smiled and grabbed JJ’s hand, “About everything, I am grieving the end of tour, the life I led until now; but I am also excited about everything I am getting to do now, like bedtime routines, and reading a story to the girls, make dinner for you, just… just be us, “The Styles” you know?”

She smiled and nodded, “I know baby, it feels like forever when we talked about this and look at us now; two baby girls to kiss and cuddle all day long, and a whole lot of free time for us to enjoy, starting with our vacation here in Italy.”

I grinned and nodded, “I am so ready, we just have to wait about four days, and we will be just us four, the only thing I’ve been wanting for a while and then it is home to rest”, she sat up and gave me a teasing smile, “Oh didn’t I tell you? You have about ten or twelve IKEA boxes waiting for my handsome builder”.

I laughed a little then shushed JJ who was startled awake, Y/N made grabby hands for her and I kissed her cheeks before handing the baby to Y/N and going to the bathroom and doing my nighttime routine before settling back in bed with her, I pulled her into my arms and kissed all over her face before stopping just a little far from her lips and whispering, “Thank you, for being my muse, my love, my friend, my whole heart and whole life.”

She smiled and ran a hand down my cheek, “Thank you for letting me love you and give you everything, and I promise to continue to do so, for as long as you let me, wherever life takes us”, then pulled her in for a kiss I hoped showed all the love I had for her. I was excited, I was happy, I was content, and I hope for the life of me that this feeling never ends.

Taglist @adoredeanna @alienorknight @b-reads-things @be-with-me-so-happily @behindmygreyeyes @cherrylovesblog @karenarella22 @daphnesutton @dayxoxodreamer @dirtytissuebox @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @goldenlouvr @groovychaosavenue @harrysficreblog @harryspirate @hoya122 @imaginesofdreams @i-got-the-cinema @infinitely-yellow @irelilien @itsgabbysblog @itsgigikay @itsmytimetoodream @jgoff717 @kathy522 @kaitieskidmore1 @last-saturday-night @michellekstyles @msolbesg @qualitygiantshoepsychic @sagcas-latte @seguin-styles1996 @shawnsblue @sunshinemoonsposts @tinydeskwriter @tinydestinybear @tpwkstyles1d @voosa @watercolorskyy @wherethehellhaveyoubeenharry

[82mitsu]

{18Trip} The Homescreen Voice Lines Vault

Collection of all the voice lines I have translated on my Twitter account. Uploading it on here for archival purposes.

Note: A lot of them were made to fit the Twitter character limit, sometimes they're a bit freestyled.

Mostly Raito oriented, with some others thrown in the mix.

Chihiro: Raiting, you spend a lot of time watching vids, don'tcha~ What channels got you hooked?

Raito: Let me see, channels all about information over ramen and the occult stuff like Muu☆Tan's are vital to me.

Raito: Kuguri, you can do what you want but, have you considered to stop sleeping naked from time to time? No doubt you'll catch a cold.

Kuguri: I'd prefer for you to leave me be. A certain Someone who can't properly wake up in the morning has no right to police others on how they sleep.

Raito: According to this scripture of taboos that I procured on my own, it appears that Pandora's Box will open up again soon. The theory of hope remaining at the bottom is plausible but, let's just wait and see...

Akuta: Uugh... I can't... I can't go on like this anymore.... Raito-san, please do the usual thing again tonight!!

Raito: A hopeless guy, aren't you... Got it, I'll take care of you. I will... feed you the best late night ramen that there is.

Netaro: Raito~! Trouble's afoot! There's hearsay of a unfamiliar flickering luminant body appearing behind the dormitory~!

Raito: What!? An unidentified flying object, in other words!? We must unravel its true identity! Let's go right away, Netaro!

Kuguri: Sometimes Nanaki looks at me cutely and pleads for advice on composing music. Well, my involvement is limited to hearing him out and giving a nudge, however.

Kuguri: I don't disagree with your way of living, Ten... It smells sweet, exclusively so. How about we go on a drive together again sometime.

Ten: Aha, it's an honor to get invited by someone like Kuguri-san~ I don't mind the kinda relations where you stay outta each others affairs either.

Chihiro: Geez~! Taotao, you play Anigun way too much! Didn't you like promise you'd go shopping with Chii today! And here I sat looking forward to it~!

Tao: Sorry. To think there'd be an event out of nowhere... I'll buy you some pudding as apology. So let's go shopping. Okay?

Akuta: Like, during flower viewing... adults do /that/, right... Y'know... the thing... s- s- s- strip rock paper scissors....!

"yakyuuken" is a Japanese game on based rock paper scissors, where the loser ends up stripping.

Akuta: Ten-san, I heard you talking to a woman on the phone earlier, but is she for real... wrapped around your finger!? Like both hands all over a beaut and...!

Ten: Aha, the hell man. Don't slander me. She's just a plain ol' friend. Maybe you're still too young for this though~?

Akuta: That freakin' Kiroku, he put a kinda bracelet that girls would wear in his desk. Ah, wonder if he's like also doing the do with her...

Ushio: Oi Stupidtake, record what I make all you want but don't snatch food while i'm not looking. You itching to get banned or something?

Akuta: Geh... got caught, huh... I regret my actions! Please spare me from being exiled! Oh great god from heavens above Ushio-samaaa~!

Nanaki: Kugunii, come over whenever you feel like it again. I'm sure Dad, Mom and Big Bro all are eager to see you.

Kuguri: Perhaps so. ...I'll go if the mood strikes me.

Nanaki: Spring is the season of encounters, huh... I already have crossed paths with my G.O.A.T though.

GOAT: Gen Z slang, means "Greatest Of All Time".

Ushio: Listen Murakumo-san, I know you're fooling around, but can you please refrain from putting any weird ideas into the younger guys' heads?

Ten: Oh-hoh~ look at you sounding all cool there. Dunno what you mean with "weird ideas" though.

Ushio: ....I curse the freaking guy who dared to use my shampoo without permission to go bald from losing 10 hairs every second...!

Ryui: Toi, your hair's sticking out. Here, sit still. I'll fix it to make it pretty.

Toi: Wah... Thank you dearest Big Bro. My beloved Big Bro really is the coolest in the whole wide world... My heart's skipping a beat...

Toi: A mature seductiveness like Yodaka-san's... How can i end up having that too? I'm jealous, you see.

Yodaka: Fufu, but Toi. Don't you have your own kind of charm that I lack. I admit I'm also envious on that front.

[gingiesworld]

Family is Forever

Chapter Ten

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff

Taglist: @fxckmiup @ginnsbaker @gb12d @angrywhisperslove @louxbloom @casquinhaa @natashamaximoff-69 @wizardofstories @canvascoloredin @wandanats-goodgirl @forthelesbians @the-ox-fan20 @marvelogic

18+ MINORS DNI

Wanda sat with the stick in her hands, looking over the two lines, willing for the other to disappear. Both Y/N and Wanda are still seniors in college and they are beyond unprepared to be parents.

"What's wrong?" Nat questioned as she entered the room, drying her hair.

"I'm pregnant." Wanda whispered, fear evident in her eyes. "And I'm scared."

"It will be fine Wanda." Nat tried to reassure her. "Y/N will be there with you, every step of the way."

"How do you know that!" Wanda asked her. "We never really discussed about kids, or marriage even."

"Do you love them?" Nat questioned her as Wanda stopped pacing.

"With everything I am." Wanda told her. "They are the one person who I see my future with."

"And I know they feel the exact same way Wanda." Nat told her tenderly. "I have seen the way they look at you. The amount of love they have in their heart just for you." She wrapped her arms around her best friend. "And I know you will be ok. Y/N will never leave you and I am sure they will be happy about this."

Wanda hoped that Nat was right, but she never expected Y/N to get out a pad and a calculator, muttering estimations of bills and other things.

"Y/N?" Wanda tried as Y/N rubbed their brow, the crinkles on their forehead as they soon looked up at her.

"I don't." They spoke as Wanda approached them. "I guess I can leave college and get a job. Put you on my health insurance."

"I'm still on my parents." Wanda stated as Y/N shook their head no.

"The hospital bills are going to be a lot Wanda, I still have my inheritance and trust fund to help pay for a better premium." They told her as she moved to sit on their lap, their hands instantly wrapping around her. "I don't want your parents to spend all of their money on these appointments and then the baby will also go on the premium when it's born." They looked up at Wanda as she gazed at them. "We will be fine Wanda, the first year or so may be a little rocky but we will get through it."

"We will." Wanda whispered. "And we will finish college. We have a few months left and the baby won't be due until around Halloween."

"We will be fine." They kissed her tenderly before gazing in her green irises. "Marry me."

"What?" Wanda laughed which soon died down as she noticed their serious expression. "You can't be serious?"

"I am serious." They told her. "I want to be able to call you my wife, besides you are the mother of my baby. So marry me."

"Y/N." Wanda whispered as her eyes stung with unshed tears.

"I love you Wanda, I am so in love with you and I know I want this. Us." They rambled. "I know this isn't exactly the most orthodox proposal but I know I want this. I want all of this." Y/N soon pushed her gently from their lap, Wanda watched as they looked through the small box in their closet. "This was my mom's ring. My dad proposed to her with it and I always admired it. I know this may not be the one you want but it will be a place holder until I can get you a new one."

"This one is perfect Y/N." Wanda beamed as Y/N took her left hand. "I will cherish it for the rest of our lives."

Wanda sat beside Y/N, it had been a couple of days and they still hadn't woke. Wanda played with her wedding and the engagement ring as her eyes never left them.

"You know your dad was furious when you told us about the pregnancy." Iryna told Wanda as she handed her daughter a coffee. "He wanted to kill them for getting his baby pregnant."

"I knew it." Wanda told her. "He seemed like his head was going to explode but you kept him at bay."

"Well, we were in the same situation when we were having you and your brother." Iryna told her. "I guess he never wanted to see you go through the struggles we did but Y/N made sure you were all set."

"They did." Wanda whispered as she wiped her eyes. "I just, I guess I lost sight of all of the sacrifices they made for our little family."

"They did." Iryna nodded. "Even when they came to us, they wanted our help in opening other accounts, transferring a majority of their inheritance to an account for you."

"What? I thought they were paying for the life insurance with that." Wanda questioned as Iryna nodded.

"But they got a few salary raises over the years and they wanted to buy the house for you and the boys. They wanted to give you an opportunity to follow your dream." She told her. "They were going to tell you on your birthday but everything blew out of proportion with the divorce and everything."

"I don't want a divorce." Wanda whispered as she glanced back at Y/N. "I don't want them to live in a different apartment. I just don't want to be apart from them any longer than we have."

"That's ok." She smiled. "When they wake, tell them. Tell them everything."

"I will." Wanda nodded as she rested her head on her mom's shoulder.

"The twins have been badgering your dad and Pietro about seeing Y/N." Iryna told her.

"I'm sorry I never told them." Wanda whispered as Iryna shook her head. "I just didn't want to leave them. I didn't want something to happen while I am not here."

"It's ok." She reassured her. "Pietro and your dad were there for them."

"Maybe tomorrow they can come for a while." Wanda confirmed. "It may be nice for them to hear the boys voices."

"It will." Iryna nodded in agreement. The next day rolled around, the twins had barely slept after recieving the news of their O'pa.

Pietro led them into the room, where Wanda remained as she waited for them to wake up. As soon as Billy saw them in the bed, the wires and machines attached to them.

"Hey, they're going to be ok." Pietro reassured him. "They're just sleeping while their body heals."

"Come on." Wanda held her arms open for him, Billy moved reluctantly before sitting on Wanda's lap. Hugging her tightly as they reluctantly looked at Y/N.

"I never wanted them to get hurt." Billy whispered as Wanda kissed his head.

"No one wanted this Billy." Wanda spoke softly. "But unfortunate circumstances happen and they are in the best place." Wanda told the twins. "Maybe tell them about what they have missed, what you have done in school."

Tommy was the one who started to talk about everything and anything as Wanda watched him with a smirk on her face. Billy sat with his head in Wanda's neck as he listened to him.

"Please wake up." Tommy whispered as he noticed he wasn't getting any form of reaction from him. "We can't lose you. We need you here." Wanda gestured for her brother to take them.

"Let's go and get a McDonalds." He told the two who only nodded as Wanda mouthed a thank you. "Do you want me to send you something here?" He asked her as the twins grabbed their coats.

"I'm fine, thank you." She told him softly before she kissed the twins heads before Pietro pulled her in for a tight embrace, kissing her temple.

"They will wake up." He told her firmly. "Y/N would never truly leave you." Wanda smiled as he led the twins out of the room. Sighing as she sat in the seat she had claimed as her own. Taking their hand as she looked up at their face.

"Tommy is right." She whispered as a tear escaped. "We need you to wake up. I need you to wake up Y/N. I want to see that goofy smile on your face. I just." She sighed as she kept her eyes on them, watching for any sign. "I love you Y/N and I am so fucking stupid." She rested her head on the bed beside them as she let her tears fall,

"I love you." They spoke hoarsely. "More than you will ever know."

"Y/N?" Wanda's head snapped up to see Y/N staring back into her eyes. "Oh my god." She gasped as she caressed their face. "I need a doctor." She whispered as she pressed the emergency button. The doctor soon racing inside to do their checks before leaving the two alone. "I'm so happy right now." She whispered as she ran her hand through their hair.

"I'm sorry." They whispered as Wanda looked at them confused. "I was trying to get there and everything just happened so fast."

"It's ok." Wanda told them. "You're alive and that is all that matters." She kissed their lips tenderly, lightly cupping their cheek as she pulled away. "I don't want us to be apart. Not anymore."

"I never wanted to be apart from you or the boys." They confessed. "I hated it. Being in that apartment, I just couldn't sleep or eat knowing that the one person who was my whole future was no longer mine."

"I will always be yours Y/N." She whispered as she smiled tenderly. "Always."

[hannamoon143]

Whatever you want

Req by @intrikatie

Pairings: Minsung (It is not mentioned as a ship,you can put it as whatever you want, best friends,relationship,everything fits lol)

Genre: Fluff,comfort,a tiny bit angst if you squint

Summary: finally a day off at the beach. Minho and jisung are looking forward to some peace and fun. just lots of silly little cutie fluff

a/n:a little minsung drabble ( i wanted to post it at stay birthday,but i weren't feeling well so i post it today,one day later <3) requested by @intrikatie. Hope you like it! As always take care of yourself,go drink some water and have a great day.💖

"Give me ten more minutes"Minho whines. "No min,you already had twenty minutes to say bye to soonie,doongie and dori.its only a day" Jisung said,rolling his eyes.He had a annoyed undertone in his voice,also if he couldn't entirely hide that he found it cute when minho got all clingy and whiny about his cats.Especially since he usually wasn't very affectionate. Jisung pulled minho to his feet and dragged him to the car.Minho tried to free himself from jisungs grip,wanting to kiss his cats one last time.

"Nooo,my babies will miss me! I love you soonie doongie and dori!" He screams through the last open door slot.Jisung giggles and opens the car door.He sits down in the driversseat with a amused smile.With a pout minho sits down besides him,crossing his arms.Jisung only gigles at that.

"They will miss their dad"

"They will survive"

"I wanna drive"

"We talked about that"

"I hate you.and the babies hate you too." minho says stubbornly,looking through the window.

"I know you don't" Han giggles,squishing minhos cheeks.

"Yah!Look at the street!"

Jisung only continues giggling at minhos pouty attitude.He knows that he is looking forward to a day at the beach just as much as himself.They could relax,have fun and enjoy the warm,sunny weather,wich was a welcome change to all the stress

When they were at the beach jisung parked.Minho jumped out of the car,pulling the bags they brought out. Jisung also got out.he inhaled deeply.the fresh ocean breeze was relaxing and felt good in his usually always stressed mind. Minho pinched his side. "Ready to go down to the beach,or do you need time to process the air cause you don't know how it is outside the studio?"Minho smirks and runs down on the sandy beach.Jisung yells after him,following him with tiny runs. He acts annoyed as always but he enjoys finally seeing minho relax too.The comeback was exhausting for them all,and they all spent a lot of work and effort into it.It was a big relief that they had done it now,and that stays liked it so much. The others stayed at the dorms,wanting to do a live later.

When jisung approached minho he was laying the picnic blanket they brought,down on the warm sand. Jisung started packing out the food (Minho insisted on cooking himself besides bringing little snacks) and his little digitalcamera. "You still have this little thing?Isn't the quality extremly low?" Minho asks,taking out the ramen he had made earlier.

"Yeah but low quality is the best quality.It gives the pictures a little vintage touch."Jisung prudly says,standing up to take a picture of the ocean with his camera.Minho pats at the place he sat before and says: "Sit down sungie,i wanna eat and if you dont take your ramen i will eat them myslef." Jisung quickly sits down and takes the little box of noodles minho gives him.

They both quietly eat,looking at the soothing waves.

After a while minho speaks up: " Also if my babies will miss me the day long,this is really nice. Relaxing now that the comeback is finished. To just sit here and not having to do something for the camera" Jisung finishes his ramen and smiles at him. "You are right min.but you now when you won't be so relaxed anymore?" Minho looks confused now,but before he can answer something jisung jumps up,takes his shirt off and runs towards the water. "When i win the race who is first at the water."he yells,laughing. Minho doesn't hesitate to also take his shirt off and chase after jisung. They both land in the cool waves,laughing and almost choking at the water.

They splashed water at each other,not noticing that they went further and further into the deep water.Suddenly a big wave came.It was quick there and minho and jisung got pressed underwater.Minho immediately came back to the surface of the water.He coughed a bit and almost started laughing again but then he noticed that jisung was nowhere in sight.He looked around,but when jisung wasn't anywhere near to find minho got a bad feeling.

"Sungie? Han?" anxiety immediately filled his body.that couldn't happen...

He didn't hesitate when he dived into the water. He opened his eyes and after a few seconds he saw jisung.His foot was stuck betweent two rocks and he was anxiously trying to free himself.Minho dived down.His own air was getting less to but somehow he managed to pull the rock away,and jisung back to the surface.They dragged themself back to the warm sand.

Jisung coughed a little bit water out,that he swallowed when he panicked.

"Are you okay hannie? Oh god i was so scared.W-when the wave came and pulled us u-underwater and i immediately was at the surface again,but you w-weren't near and i...i thought you drowned or w-worse and-"

Jisung stopped the anxious rambling from minho, by putting his hand over minhos mouth.

"Min it's okay,i'm fine alright?" Jisung said with his voice a bit hoarse from the salt water but a smile in it.

Minho let out a shaky exhale,noticing he hadn't breathed. He leaned nearer to jisung,who wrapped his arms around him.

"Why are you comforting me now?"Minho asks skeptically,but laying down his head on jisungs shoulder.He was glad nothing happened to jisung.

Jisung chuckled. "You are like a little cat,you always need comfort and someone who tells you that things are alright"

Minho snorted. A little cat? Jisung had a courage to say that.He was the one always acting like a baby.Altough minho liked being a bit babied and cared for secretly.

They both went back to their things.trying to dry their clothes.After a good sun bath,one more snack time and a bunch of jokes it's time to go home.

"It's getting dark we should drive back to the dorms"Minho says,starting to pack up the things. Han nods and also starts packing things.But then he remembers something. "Min!Will you make a pic with me with the digitalcamera? I make pictures with is since our debut so i can remember every good moment we all have." Minhos gaze softens when he sees the excitement so bright in jisungs eyes. He sits down besides jisung,and together they make a few pictures,of them with the ocean on it. Jisung kindly smiles when he looks through the photos. He loved collecting memories. At the sight of him smiling at simple photos made minhos heart melt.Jisung was a pure guy.

but suddenly minho gets distracted.Jisung almost had a heart attack when suddenly minho jumped up and ran a few steps and then crouched down in the sand.

Oh no.Jisung knew that pose.It was his look-what-a-cute-cat-i-found pose.That meant they wouldn't be able to drive home for the next thirty minutes.

"Give me the cat food from my jacket"Minho demands and jisung sighs and walks over to him and the cat, with the food.

Minhos eyes sparkle.It looks like suddenly the cat put a thousands stars in them.Exactly like when jisung looks at his pictures. Jisung had to hold back his laughter,minhos felt the same with cats that he felt when he looked at memories.he really could be a weird but a really kind guy. But also,Jisung liked when his eyes were like this.They looked deeper than the deepest spot in the ocean,prettier than all the stars on the sky.Jisung would give the world just so that spark never gets lost.Jisung smiled and looked at the cat.

"It's really cute"

"Yeah right?! I wanna take it home but soonie doongie and dori don't want another brother." Minho says with excitement but thena little pout steals its way on his face. Jisung only laughs at it. "Come on min,you fed the cat well,it will survive but your real babies miss you.or did you forget them already?" Jisung faked a dramatic gasp. " I will drive home alone then and give them to felix." He said,sounding sad and dramatic. He walked to the car but minho ran after him,getting in first.

"Noone trades my cats."

Jisung laughs at the pouting boy.

"Whatever you want min."

[veronicaphoenix]

wrapped in winter embers | n.s.

One-shot ✨ Pairing: noah sebastian x fem. reader

Tags and cw: Established relationship. Christmas fluff with sexual content, hot chocolate, snow, and oral sex (both receiving), p in v, slight bondage, unprotected sex, chocolate and marshmallows included, mentions of pregnancy, and a glittery dick (yes, read to find out what I’m talking about). Not beta read. Just needed to get this out of my head. Enjoy :) | AO3

WRAPPED IN WINTER EMBERS

I found myself sitting in awe before the giant Christmas tree that had been set up in the expansive living room of our recently acquired home. We had moved in a mere ten months ago, and I had been looking forward to Christmas so that I could put a giant pine tree in the corner and decorate it from top to bottom. It had been a recurring dream of mine since childhood.

            The tree had been brought in that morning, but Noah and I hadn’t started decorating until afternoon. I’d been running some errands in the morning while Noah took care of the delivery, and I nearly screamed when I entered the house and saw the tree in the space in the corner that we had left specially for it. 

            As the kitchen was cleared from our lunch and the house assumed a soothing sense of order, Noah and I set up to spend that afternoon and evening adorning the tree and extending the holidays spirit throughout the house. 

            We put some cute decorations in the entrance and had also placed small figurines and pots with artificial greenery and snow on the furniture around the house. Our main dining table and the coffee table in front of the television had also been adorned with delightful stuff that we had bought in a shopping Christmas trip we did to Target last week.

            Now that we had a place of our own, it was the first time we put two red stockings on the fireplace with our names on them, and it was so lovely. 

            Nearly an hour into the tree decoration, we ran out of ornaments, and Noah decided to make a quick trip to a store in town to get some more. I told him it was not necessary. We could go together on Monday, but he insisted, given that tomorrow would be Sunday and the shops would be closed, and our tree would remain unfinished for another day and a half. 

            He pecked me on the lips as he zipped his winter jacket and left after grabbing the house and car keys from the small tray we kept in the entrance. I told him to drive safe, given that it was snowing outside. It wasn’t much but enough to cover the ground about two inches. 

            By the time Noah came back, not more than twenty minutes later, I was sat on the floor, busying myself rearranging the twinkling ornaments to sooth my OCD. I couldn’t shake the feeling that both sides of the tree were stuffed unevenly, and it was driving me nuts.  

            The content smile on my face fell as I looked towards the entrance, where he was struggling to remove his boots while his hands were fully occupied. I stood up, leaving a golden garland on the floor and quickly walked to him.  

            “What’s all this?” I asked, grabbing one of the boxes that he carried in his arms, clearing his vision, hitherto obscured by the cardboard monolith.  “You should’ve called me. I would have gone outside to help you bring these in.”

            “It’s freezing outside, baby. I didn’t want you to get cold. Besides, it wasn’t a problem.”

            “You would’ve probably tripped on the carpet and fallen on top of these,” I said, smiling sheepishly at him after I set the box I carried next to the tree. 

            “Yeah, and that would have been so much fun for you, right?”

            I moved my shoulders up and down, feigning an innocent expression. 

            “Yes, play good girl all you want, princess.” He set down the other box and removed his jacket, walking back to the house entrance to keep it in the main wardrobe. He came back, clad in his Bad Omens hoodie, sweatpants, and the winter socks that I had recently got him from a new shop that had opened in town. He took a seat on the carpet next to me. “How is it going?” He asked regarding my work during his absence. While waiting for my answer, he ripped the tape of one of the boxes and opened it, diving into its contents.

            “Well, how does it look?” I moved back, leaning on his shoulder so that we could assess the tree together from a small distance. 

            He hummed in satisfaction and proceeded to empty the boxes. There was so much stuff in them that I thought we would have to buy another tree, after all. Maybe a small one that we could put outside on the porch. Not a bad idea. 

            “Oh, you got the glittery ones?” I asked as I held a box of eight perfect Christmas balls painted in vibrant glossy red and coated with a golden layer of glitter. 

            “I know you said to get the plain shiny ones,” he replied, finishing unpacking and setting the different plastic bags and cases containing all kinds of ornaments in one side. “But these ones looked so good.”

            “There will be glitter everywhere for months. This thing is super static, but yeah, they look nice. Thanks.”

            As we busied ourselves unpacking some of the things, I noticed a couple of garlands and a satin ribbon that look extremely similar to the velvety ones that Noah kept upstairs, in our bedroom. I looked up at him, wondering what had been on his mind when he entered the Christmas shop downtown, but he was distracted removing the plastic from some other random decorations. 

            We spent the next hour finishing the tree. Two weeks ago, I had bought a ladder on Amazon, thinking that it would be helpful for events like this, but truth was that I hadn’t really thought much before purchasing it, and it ended up being pretty useless, especially when Noah was around. 

            After hearing his complaints about the ladder for a solid five minutes, I gave up and I asked him to pick me up, much to his satisfaction. He willingly crouched down (with a grin on his face) to let me hop onto his shoulders, and as he straightened up, the world beneath me transformed. Everything certainly looked different from up here, and it was also a bit scary. 

            “Be still,” I told him. The only way I could grab onto him as I set the star on top of the tree was by tightening my thighs against his head. 

            “Ease that grip, tigress. I’m not going to let you fall,” he replied, holding onto my thighs with his hands. 

When the final touch was complete, I clapped, full of joy. Noah, seizing the opportunity, thought it would be funny to start swaying right and left, threatening to dislodge me from his shoulders. I clutched at his hair, using it as an anchor and pulling whenever I thought I was going to fall down, and his laughter morphed into a sudden yelp of pain. I gave his shoulder a playful slap, scolding him, only to be met with another round of sways. I lost my balance, but he was prepared to catch me and wrapped his arms around me as I wrapped my limbs around his slender, towering frame. By the time I bit his neck, we were both laughing, filling the cozy space of our home with the sound. 

He trailed a path of kisses and lovely nib bites down my neck and sternum, causing me to shiver. Sensing my slight chill, Noah proposed starting a fire and preparing hot chocolate.

I was clearing out the plastic and empty envelopes strewn across the floor when he queried if I wanted cream and marshmallows on my drink. I wasn’t very keen on the cream, but that day I fancied some marshmallows, and I replied with a delighted “yes, please” from the living room. Even though the kitchen seamlessly melded into the living room, I was out of Noah’s sight, positioned on the other side of the sofa. In the background Christmas music played from a speaker nestled in a corner of the kitchen counter.  

The mug warmed up my hands when Noah offered to me. He kissed my hair and let me sit back down in front of the tree to wonder where we could put the rest of the new decorations. Noah took a seat in his favorite armchair, a cozy grey piece that we found in a second-hand furniture shop and that he had sent for repairing. He loved spending hours there when he was reading a book or whenever he was on a phone call that extended for too long. Whenever I was alone in the house or he was locked in his studio, I would steal his place and sit there myself, cozy up with a blanket and a good book and wait until he come back. He would feign shock at the fact that I was sitting on his favorite spot, he would pick me up and carry me to the sofa, where I would keep my hold on him to avoid him getting away. Many evenings that winter we had fallen asleep on the sofa, Noah on top of me, after a slow kissing session driven by our playful fight about the armchair. Some other times we would end up having delicious sex. 

            For a while, it was quiet in the house, the tranquil hush only interrupted by the occasional noise I made while playing around with the Christmas decorations. The air carried the warm essence of hot chocolate, infused with the comforting aroma of cinnamon and the warmth coming from the fireplace. As I took in how happy I was, I looked at Noah, who was responsible for making this dream of mine a reality. He was sat slouched in his armchair, scrolling down on his phone as he indulged in the warm drink. His legs were casually parted, and he looked so damn good in his black sweatpants. I knew from experience how good I fitted between those two legs. Memories from previous times sparked a sudden yearning, heat coiling up in the pit of my stomach. 

            In a matter of seconds, my attention shifted from the adorned tree and Christmas trinkets. I moved silently toward him, crawling my way between his legs until I was seated on my knees, on my heels, in front of him, right between his legs. I looked up and bat my eyelashes. 

            Noah moved the hand that was holding the mug aside and directed his gaze downward, meeting mine.  

            “Hi, there, pretty girl.”

            I licked my lips and slid my hands from his knees to his thighs.  

            “What are you doing?” He asked. Oh, he knew very well. “You wanna suck me?”

            “Yeah.”

            There was a moment of hesitation in his actions, probably because he was taking in my proposition and was being consumed by the sudden excitement inside of him. He kept the mug and his iPhone on a small wooden table by the armchair.

            “Go on, kitten.”

            One of his hands moved to the back of my head and encouraged me forward. My hands found the waistband of his sweatpants. I pulled them down alongside his underwear as he lifted his hips for two seconds. 

            My throat went dry at the sight in front of me. He was already half hard. I hadn’t even touched him, and he was already eager at the idea of my mouth on him. 

            I leaned down, opening my mouth. I licked the head once. It was salty, earthy. All man. I lapped at him again, hearing him hissing in a breath, and delved right into it, filling my mouth with his thickening length. His hands found the back of my head, fisting my hair. He buckled up slowly, forcing me to take him all in, until I had him at the back of my throat. My mouth felt overfull as I worked him back up and down, his little whimpers and curses filling my ears. 

            I moved back once, his hand freeing my hair and his cock slipping from my lips. I licked them, looking intently at him. He smiled wide and bright, and brushed some strands of hair out of my face and onto the back of my ear. 

            “Keep going, baby.”

            Taking a deep breath, I leaned in again, sliding his cock in against my tongue, setting a blistering pace. “That’s it. Fuck. Deeper? Yeah, just like that. Good girl.”

            The taste of him suffused me. I held onto his thighs as he slid in and out of my mouth. One of his hands found support on my hair again, something that he loved doing. I knew he was almost there as I felt him tensing his grip on my hair and how his hips snapped forward and his head fell back on the recliner. He was losing it. I was enamored with the image of him in that state, even if I couldn’t engorge myself too much on it because I was busy with his cock in my mouth. If anything, knowing how powerless he was in that moment, how vulnerable he was for me, I sucked him deeper, tightening my mouth around his thick length, and playing with my tongue as I felt him pulsing inside and I heard his whimpers increase. A salty liquid coated my tongue and the back of my throat. I struggled to swallow, but I did it as I slowly slid him out of me. 

            He muttered a curse as his whole body released from the high. I stayed on my knees, licking my lips, and watching him with utter adoration. I would spend the whole day worshipping him like this if he’d let me. 

            “I don’t know what Christmas gift you’re planning to get me, but trust me,” he said, taking a pause to regain his breathing, “nothing will beat this up.” 

            “I’ll take note of it,” I joked. 

            After a moment, he kicked his sweatpants away from his feet, bent forward and helped me get up from the floor. He lifted me onto him and settled me on his bare lap. 

            “What a lucky motherfucker I am,” he whispered. With a hand on the back of my neck, he pushed my face down onto his and I drowned in the kiss. 

            We kissed for a while, oblivious to the snow falling outside and the cracking of the fire behind us. When I pulled away, Noah’s cheeks were flushed pink. I moved a few strands of hair out of his face, and he studied mine for a second or two before picking me up and standing up. 

            “Is your period over?”

            I nodded. 

            “Choose: the kitchen isle or the carpet?”

            The idea of both scenarios made me wet.

Wetter. 

            “Both?” I appealed. 

            “Someone’s cheeky today, huh?” He noted with hint of amusement. 

He walked us to the kitchen isle. 

            “I’m feeling festive.”

            “Sure you are,” he replied, holding a laugh. 

            He set me on the isle, and I let out a little scream at the cold surface. I was wearing grey leggings and the layer of fabric was very thin. I could feel the cold spreading through every inch of my body. 

            “Don’t worry, baby. I’m going to heat you up so badly you’re going to beg me to switch on the AC.” 

            He captured my mouth in his again. He pushed me back, forcing me to lay down on my back, my skin protected by the white top and the oversized sweater I was wearing. He ordered to lift my hips and he removed my socks, leggings and underwear, eyeing them and lifting a brow. 

            “Someone’s very aroused,” he said, eyeing the embarrassing stain covering my panties. 

            “Clearly,” I replied, pointing with my eyes at his growing erection. 

            “Bratty girl”, his voice got muffled by the fabric of his hoodie and shirt coming out. 

            I was going to say something but then two of his fingers slid down my curls and then to my folds, and the words got stuck in my throat. 

            “Fuck, Noah.”

            “That’s what I’m gonna do: fuck you.” He slid a finger in. I closed my eyes, focusing on the sensation brought by the movement induced by his long finger, sliding in and out in a tortuous dance. “But I need to have a taste first. Isn’t it wonderful that this isle has the perfect size for me to get on my knees and dip my mouth between your legs?” 

            I didn’t have time to think or utter another word before his tongue was on me. I gasped and struggled for my next breath, but he didn’t care. He toyed with me, slipping another finger and fondling my walls, sticking to his promise of heating me up. I couldn’t feel the cold of the marble anymore. I could only feel his warmth breath on my skin, the texture of his tongue lapping at my clit. He was fucking talented, and I could only give in to his pleasure, which moved to another level when he moved back, stood up, and grabbed his cock in his hand to guide it towards my entrance. 

            “You look so pretty all wet and ready for me.”

            “Please…”

            His hand slid up my belly, making its way underneath the fabric of the sweater and the top until it reached one of my breasts. Holding onto it, he used his other hand to position his cock in my pussy. Then he pushed in. I grasped his tattooed forearms. He started thrusting, his face tense, his expression one of contained self-control. My nipple ached between his fingers, and my heels dig onto his backside as I urged him closer, deeper into me. 

            “Noah, I don’t think I’m going to be able to hold it for long,” I manage to mumble between cries. 

            “Well, I’m not ready to let you come yet.” 

Not a moment had passed that he slid his arms underneath my body and picked me up again, securing me against his frame with his arms and hands. He walked us to the center of the living room, by the Christmas tree. He sat me on the floor and told me to sit up the two seconds it took him to remove the remaining pieces of clothing I had on. I laid back down. The cracking from the fireplace and the scent of the two mugs of hot chocolate still lingering in the air, adding an extra layer of warm to our sweaty bodies.  

Confusion suddenly etched my features as I saw him taking my hot chocolate from the spot on the floor where I had left it. He took a sip, taking his time indulging in it. 

            “Lucky you,” he started saying, “the chocolate is still warm.” 

            He set it down next to my body, dipped his fingers in the chocolate and picked a marshmallow. A second after, he was playing with it around my nipple, leaving a trail of hot liquid chocolate around the peak of my breast. My breath was caught on my throat as I watched the lust in his eyes.

            “I’m gonna eat you all up,” he promised before he put the marshmallow in his mouth and descended into my breasts. 

He covered me in drops of warm liquid, watching my body shiver every time the chocolate touched my skin and smirking at the desperation showing and growing on my face. He repeated the same pattern for a few times, tracing drawings on my chest and stomach, chewing at the marshmallows and even putting one of them on my mouth, his tongue sliding too far down a couple of times and lapping at me once, twice. The last time he dipped his fingers in the mug, he led them to my mouth and asked me to lick them off, which earned me a sweet “good girl” from him. 

He gave up the rest of the hot chocolate and focused on the task of sinking himself on me again, but he stopped for just a second, eyeing the point where our bodies where about to merge, then guiding his gaze to me. 

            “Do we have any condoms here?” He asked, looking around as if remembering where we had placed the last box we bought. 

            “No…” I answered. A thought raced my mind. It had been there before, but I had never really said it aloud. Until now. I swallowed and said in a low voice, “It’s okay.” 

            “It’s okay?” He repeated, eyebrows furrowed. 

            I started smiling and he knew me too well to discern what my expression meant. 

            “Do you mean I can…? I can do it inside?” His pupils expanded.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

            I nodded impatiently. 

            “This means… Pff,” he sat back on his heels, looking down as if suddenly lost in thought. He raked a hand through his hair. “Are you thinking about…?”

            “Yeah…” I whispered. I sat up to run two fingers down the side of his face. I didn’t have to say it out loud to know that the same images were crossing his mind. The bottom of the tree filled with Christmas gifts and a few kids running around, chasing each other, filling the house with their sweet and loud laughs, and Noah and me looking at them from the sofa, where we were cuddled up in each other’s arms, drinking hot chocolate. 

“Well, now I can’t definitely shake off the idea of having a little you driving me crazy around this house,” he suddenly stated. 

“So…?”

“So,” his body covered mine, his eyes diving into mine. “I’ll ask one more time. Are you sure? You want me to fill you up?”

“Yes.”

“This is— You are gonna be the death of me. Wait a second.” 

He ruffled through the stuff set on the floor, toppling one of the boxes containing the glittery balls. They scattered around in all direction, rolling beneath the tree and weaving through our legs. He moved them aside until he found the satin ribbon. 

I knew it. 

            He requested for my hands, and I offered them to him, the inner side of my wrists gently meeting. With practiced precision, it took him less than a minute to tie them up in a very elaborate knot that showed off his skills in the art of Shibari. He had been interested in it for a long time, having read plenty of books. However, it wasn’t until one evening, filled with a hint of shyness, that he approached me and asked if he could try it on me. Surprisingly for the two of us, we both enjoyed it, leading to an ongoing exploration where he continued to refine his arts on my body.  

Once tied, he let them rest over my belly for a second and admired me, flush filling up my cheeks. 

            “My perfect Christmas gift,” he said. 

            “I’m naked,” I replied, a bit self-conscious.

            “That’s how I like my presents: unwrapped but tied. Now be good, yeah? Or else, Santa will not bring you any presents.” 

“I have mine exactly where I want it…” I smirked and Noah mirrored my expression as he lowered his head to kiss me. It was soft, gentle, passionate. His lips molding to mine in a way that would drive me insane anytime. I would remember his taste and his scent for ages and ages.  

With my arms positioned a top of my head, his mouth claimed mine again and his body filled mine, every inch of skin touching, gliding against each other as we started moving.

We fucked relentlessly, my screams increasing with every thrust, filling up our house. The sweat covering Noah’s body intensifying as waves of heat enveloped us not only from the fire burning mere meters away from us, but from the one growing and growing inside of our bodies. 

When the moment came, I wanted to witness his expression with my own eyes. I was a prisoner underneath his body, but he was mine to admire and adore.

“Noah, look at me. Keep your eyes on me.”

But it was too much. His gaze bore into mine, but his features were tensing and a muscle in his jaw ticked until he couldn’t hold it any longer and he sank his head in my neck with a primal growl.

            It was the first time he came inside of me, and I never heard him groaning the way he did that afternoon as he emptied himself inside of me. I was overcome by a new and strange sensation. A part of him was now inside of me and would stay with me forever. It was different than saying he occupied a place in my heart. This was totally, undoubtedly different. This was physical. Primal. And I loved it. I wanted to stay in that moment, in that warmth that spread inside of me, his pulse beating against my walls. 

            I moved my tied arms and put them over his head, around his neck, until my fingers could graze the sweaty hair at the back of his neck. He struggled to regain his breathing. The weight of his entire body laid on mine. 

            “You look so pretty when you’re coming,” I said softly.

            Noah’s shy laugh against my neck, below my ear, made me giggle underneath him.

            “You’re spoiling me, you know?” He said, nibbling at my jaw. Even though his face remained hidden, I could see in my mind the flush that covered his cheeks every time I complimented him. 

            “I want to make you happy.”

            “You’re my happiness,” he replied. A kiss laid on the pulse of my neck.

            “That’s sweet.” 

            He touched my cheek, and finally lifted his head from the crook of my neck. Tattooed knuckles tenderly grazing against my skin. 

            “I’m not lying.”

            “I know.”

            I kissed him. He kept me in his embrace for a while, taking a moment to check my face, move the hair out of it, and make sure I was okay.

He straightened up on his knees and pulled out softly, making us both feel the last trace of our union. He looked attentively at the point in which our bodies stopped being connected, and I heard him say “it’s all inside, fuck,” and a smile tugging at a corner of his lips before he got up. He told me to wait as he went to the bathroom to grab some wipes and clean us up a bit. 

I heard him curse from the bathroom downstairs a few seconds later. 

            “Is something wrong?” I asked from the floor.

            “My dick's got glitter in it!” 

            “I told you about the glittery balls!” 

            “You’re telling me!”

I cracked up at his reply. Then I heard him muttering: “How the fuck did it get here?” 

I could picture him holding his dick with one hand, observing his length and his glittery balls and trying to remove the small particles with a tissue paper. 

            When he came back, he was holding a packet of wipes in one hand, his dick hanging lose between his legs, softening, but he still looked as much a man as he looked when he was pounding inside of me. 

I loved him with all my soul, and I would never stop feeling lucky for getting to call him mine.

            “What a cute little Christmas thing you are, aren’t you?” He said when he noticed that my thighs and belly were also shining with particles of glitter that had glued to my skin. 

I was laying down by the Christmas tree, covered in glitter, all flushed and used. 

            “I’m still tied.”

            I hadn’t bothered to move because I felt… euphoric. Nothing had changed. Yet, everything could have. I still felt Noah’s liquid drip inside of me and it was… strange yet welcome. And the thought that I could be pregnant in the next minutes, if not already, had me floating in a dream. 

            “And if I had my way, you would stay like that for hours while I eat you out and make you come over and over again,” he said, looking down at me from his full height. 

            Noah knelt beside me and untied me. His warm hands massaged my wrists briefly before he extracted a couple of wipes from a thick plastic envelope. As the damp cool cotton touched my skin, I startled. 

            “Cold?” he asked.

            “Yeah.”

            “Sorry,” he apologized, and maneuvered my body so that I was closer to the fireplace. The comforting warmth enveloped me, and I just stared at the flickering flames for a while, taking in the events of the evening, a sense of satisfaction and tranquility settling over me.

            Suddenly, I felt Noah’s hand on my tummy. When I turned my head, he was lying face down on the carpet next to me, his head propped on one hand while his other was caressing the skin of my belly. 

            “I’ve never felt anything quite like it before,” he confessed in a hushed tone, gaze fixed on my body. We had always used condoms, and if not, he had always pushed out before he orgasmed. “That was incredible. Thanks.” 

            “Maybe this will be our Christmas gift,” I replied, placing my hand on top of his. 

            Noah studied our joined hands, his smile widening. There was a glint in his eyes that filled my heart with happiness. 

            Leaning down, he kissed me, whispering a slow and tender “I love you” against my lips. My response echoed his three words. 

I brushed some strands of wild hair away from his face. 

            He peppered some kisses down my shoulder. 

            “Want to take a shower?”

            “I think we actually need it,” I acknowledged. “Might help us remove that glitter.” 

I looked down at him. Indeed, his dick had glitter in it. I just needed to tie a bow with that red ribbon and tadah! My Christmas gift!

            “Don’t you even think about sharing this with the guys. They would never let me see the end of it.” 

            The topic clouded my other thoughts, and I found myself laughing as Noah helped me up. I couldn’t restrain myself as he pushed us towards the bathroom in the main suite upstairs, and by the time our naked feet hit the cold tiles in the shower, we were both cracking up. 

[mariamariquinha]

Bossa Nova (Benny 'Borracho' Magalon x f!reader) - Ten

Nine | Eleven

Summary: Benny's pov (my boy is so stressed).

Word count: 7.482.

Warnings: Bad words, slightly talks about cop corruption, violence, crime, talks about mental/physical health, mention of use of pills, hospital environment and police work.

Author’s Note: I like my men like how I visualize myself: stressed and in need of a fucking break.

I'm also on AO3 now!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤

****

If someone asked any woman who was involved with Benny at some point in their life about him, there would always be a universal phrase: he's complicated. Not 'complicated' in a 'he has a difficult and unstable life' way, because he did, but in a 'he hasn't known how to be a nice guy for a long time' way. 

Daddy issues. Classic. 

He was committed to the Major Crimes guys, especially Nick, because there was a part of him that hated to disappoint. Aside from ego or personal compensation, Benny saw a lot of his own father in Big Nick, so despite the two being almost the same age, the position of power gave O'Brien a very complex image of a patriarch – flaws and all. When Debbie left, it was clear that Nick would follow the same path as that father, with the difference that he would at least try to spend weekends with the children; Benny wouldn't be able to recognize what the 'head of his family' should be if he had to. 

It had been years since he was just Benicio Ramirez Magalon and not Benicio Ramirez Garcia Magalon, as if he erased every particle of his father from his own history in an arbitrary way, but still having that ghost on his shoulders with O’Brien. 

He didn't think much that night, but he knew it would be natural for him to walk away. It must have been the most genuinely decent thing Benny did for any woman under those circumstances. Maybe it was the fact that you knew how to set limits, that you recognized your weaknesses with an ease that Benny couldn't.

In conclusion, he was disappointed to not find you more resilient than finding out Nick slept with informants, which soon enough he caught himself being a fucking asshole. Maybe that's why, because of this lack of cynicism on your part and the excess of the same feeling on his part, Benny concluded that you were destined for good guys. Some who, at least, didn't make the decisions he made.

****

“And we have a fireplace.”

Yeah, indeed, they had a fireplace – one that was basically turning into dust. You stood there with your arms crossed, letting your mother inspect the apartment and make comments about it. While she and the realtor (a small woman named Eidra) went back to one of the bedrooms, you sat on the small bench left behind on the miniscule living room by the last residents, watching your father look through the window.

When you two shared a glance, the answer was all over the place: a huge and big and extreme and frustrated and disappointed no.

****

Listen, it could always get worse. That was life, you know? And you should know better than to expect that the divorce and the whole Isla stuff would pass by you. Well, it passed through you. With a delay, but still. 

Some of this was your fault, you could admit. Your brother had already advised you to negotiate the sale of the house as soon as the divorce procedures were in progress and you were so catatonic, in a way, that you didn't want to add more to what already seemed too complicated. After months, you found the buyers – good price, you made a profit. 

During Christmas, you ended up tripping over the closed moving boxes and spraining your foot, so on New Year's Eve you didn’t enjoy the trip as much as you could. A bad start to the year, but not the worst thing that happened to you in a long time. 

They were organizing a farewell party for Emma; by March, she would be at DEA headquarters leading their forensic team. You had to act surprised, and politely refused to help with the details ('I'm busy with this moving thing'), which she probably took as a bitter departure. Well, it was what it seemed to be. You didn’t call her off with that, but some part of you was feeling that pit of disgust. There was a murmur about whether or not to invite Major Crimes (even though they never attended that kind of thing), which everyone ended up looking at you for clarification. You didn't know, and that's what you said, accompanied by a modest shrug of the shoulders.

“Send an invitation by email, it's less work if they say no.”

Even because you had time to rethink the unfortunate occasions with O'Brien. You felt offended but you also felt guilty, which was a rather cruel conclusion that Nick was indirectly manipulating you. When you told Gina this, she just gave a genuine shrug and sighed.

“It isn’t like he wasn’t that kind of person before, you know.”

You felt bad – you felt used again. Doubted, discredited. And the fact that you thought you wouldn't care if it happened, that you would be as strong as you had been through the divorce, just showed that you had an ability to lie to yourself. Benny left that night and you knew he had the same realization too; you found yourself believing that the opinion of someone who still followed such strict orders from someone like Nick had no opinion value in your life.

You no longer fit into LASD.

****

“You have insomnia and lack of nutrients. I'll prescribe you some pills and vitamins for both, but I need you to pump the brakes. Burnout has been killing people lately.”

Perhaps, deep down, you knew that this distancing also came with your need to hide that your physical health had worsened. It wasn't that bad, but you had barely been eating and… yeah, you really didn't need another surprise with so much going on.

The doctor pondered something, eyeing the papers and you with a serenity that was closer to reticence. You waited, shoulders slumped and eyes heavy, lacking energy to ask anything else. 

“... This seems like a pattern. The lack of sleep, your headaches… Have you considered another type of approach?”

Long short story, no. And he probably knew that too, since you were there and not in a therapist's office, so you saw him lean over the desk and give you one of those scolding looks.

“It’s very normal for people in your profession to have this type of behavior. Considering what has happened in your personal life, I would advise a psychological reevaluation.”

“I’m not depressed.”

But he hadn't hinted at it, or said anything like that out loud, which only made it all make more sense. He sighed in defeat, then signed the recipe and, alongside with it, put a flier about mental health just in case.

The medicines would be an unforeseen additional expense, but it should give you some peace of mind. At least you hoped so. 

****

“Yes.”

“Bad time?” Gina sounded quite confused on the other end of the line, so you frowned at her tone and stuffed the pills into your bag irritably, the breeze not doing much to cheer up your mood. It wasn't even summer anymore, but the day still felt unbearably hot.

“I’m not on my peak, no.”

Gina went quiet for a bit. In the background, you could hear the noise of people coming and going, as if she were in a crowded place. Calmly, you backed up the sidewalk until you were under the awning of the pharmacy you had just left, switching your phone from ear to ear to hear her better. 

“... What was it? Did someone die?” 

“Where are you right now?”

“I am…” You looked over your shoulder, then at the sign of the pharmacy printed right above your head. “Had to run some errands.”

“How far are you from the Good Samaritan?”

“Good Samar-Gina, I was joking about-”

“You won't believe who's here.”

****

He had been quiet since he arrived and it was understandable. Apart from the answers he gave to the police, there was not much interest in having any type of social interaction, which was respected: it was not as if he was or should have been accustomed to the context in which he was placed.

It was different from the other cases they had been following, Z mentioned. Maybe a slip, but no one could be sure because they weren't experts in psychological profiles and the idea of ​​involving the feds was out of the question. For a lot, there was intuition, experiences on the streets, informants… Murph had already checked, there was a strong lead and they were almost there.

No one wanted to mention the damn coincidences that led them to that hospital and, more precisely, the crime scene. Gina, perhaps, had reacted in some way that revealed a truth that no one wanted to verbalize, and Nick asked them to keep an eye on her – Emma’s leaving, until further notice these people would be a bit of a smartass. 

But what would Gina do, anyway? If she could? Would she call you of all people and ask you to pray for your ex's life? 

Still, Benny stood guard at the hospital until Gina finished work and kept an eye on the news, or at least Twitter. If you had known about it, there would already have been news on the internet and, if you had appeared, taken by an immaculate concern towards the tragedy, you would’ve already done so. All in all, the reason why everyone was on their last strings was how you going there could be harmful to the case.

Maybe that was the problem, after all: he didn't know that side of you. What kind of wife you were, what kind of friend you could be. Everything was too casual, limited to observations he made and the things he remembered when you talked. There was no more karaoke, nor costume parties or Cosmopolitans in your cards or a brother to rely on; he knew these things, but none of them were valid at that moment.

So when he saw you peeking down the hall right after Gina had left (when he himself was already determined to get out of there), Benny didn't feel so surprised because he had tested the odds. Cautiously, he stood nearby, watching your diminished, secretive posture pass by the nurses' table and take slow steps to where Theodore was at. He was frustrated, in fact, and maybe a little stressed by everything, because he certainly didn't expect you to make the dumbest decision possible.

You stopped at a safe distance from the room and didn't come any closer. With a bag slung over your shoulder, you gripped the strap tightly, standing still there as you saw what was left of a guy after getting his ass beaten up, perhaps processing things that Benny would never know about. 

The girlfriend appeared: Aileen. She also hesitated when she noticed you, holding a cup of coffee in her hand as she came up from behind. At this point, Benny became more alert, ready to intervene. Interestingly, Henderson was also returning from somewhere, certainly to pick him up, and his louder voice calling your attention caused a beautiful disaster, like an announced tragedy.

You turned around too quickly, right when she was already on your trail, and hit your arm on the coffee cup that seemed hotter than expected. It hurt, of course. You screamed as the liquid burned the skin of your hand, leaning down just in time for one of the nurses to come to your aid. Aileen stood there in confusion as the liquid hit her clothes, and before Benny could take any further steps to take action, the reality that everyone was in a hospital dawned on him and he stopped.

He exchanged a glance with you as one of the nurses took you to the emergency room. 

“What the fuck, is she out of her fucking mind?” Henderson asked eventually, even if they both knew he would apologize later. 

Benny didn't answer him, however; he doubted the answer even though he thought he was aware enough of your behavior. He just watched you go in silence, both fists clenched in anger. 

****

You had your head down, your eyes still wet from the tears from the pain you had felt. The nurse had been delicate and, considering it was relatively calm, was going through the entire process in a well-rehearsed way. The emergency room was still lively, with people going from one side to the other. When you weren't watching her clean the burn, you looked up at the other patients waiting: broken arms, bloody noses.

Last time, you saw Benny with his arms crossed near the curtain that separated your space, even though it was the only one far from the others.

You knew at that moment that you were fucked.

“Boyfriend?” The nurse asked, making you eye her then him rapidly. 

“No,” You two answered in unison, to which you ended up averting your gaze in embarrassment. 

“I'd like to talk to her privately, anyway. If you don't mind,” He pressed a little, not minding the rude tone he was using. 

She eyed him, then you. With a small nod of yours, she sighed in tiredness and rolled her eyes, tidying up the bandage before leaving. 

A silence hung in the air, tense and with a hint of the impatience he was clearly feeling. You ignored this, however, glancing at your injured hand here and there before adjusting yourself better on the stretcher.

“You know, when I was a rookie I used to get quite excited with the prospect of being heard just showing my badge,” He commented, so you couldn’t help but scoff.

“Yeah, yeah, perhaps the biggest problem in America is men with damaged egos because no one cares about the size of their dicks anymore.” 

“You always seem to have a metaphor for dicks.”

“It’s a talent.”

“As is your ability to put yourself in shitty situations.”

You looked into his face for a few seconds and found an anger that, in general, seemed to be the only thing available to you from him. No more smiles or sympathy: Benny had chosen his side of the story and, really, that was fine. Still, you couldn't help but miss the other version of him as much as you did at that moment.

“I'm not going to ask who told you because that would be a really stupid question,” He took one, two steps closer to the curtain, slightly pushing it to cover the both of you. “Let's be adults and then you tell me why you came.”

Good question. Great question, actually. Why were you there? Why did you make the fucking dumb decision to be the bigger person and show up? And, by all intends, to end up with a coffee burn from… 

Yeah, it wasn’t your prime, you could give him that. 

“He wasn't just my ex husband. And I didn't want to come, but I thought I would be an asshole if I didn’t do anything.”

Benny stared at you for a long moment then; he stood there, still, eyeing you as if he was looking for something – to the point of discomfort. You averted your gaze to the floor. 

“I've read your file, did you know that? As soon as you came in and became the talk of the team, I went to find out who you were,” It made you raise your head to him, taken aback by his sudden change of subject. “First in your class, completed a specialization while still graduating. You're kind of a genius, and honestly, you had every right to be a bit of an asshole to people.”

“... You don’t need to say this,” You said.

“What should I say then?”

“I can work with nothing,” And then you snapped at him, seeing his expression shift from serenity to full annoyance. “We’ve been doing this dance very well over the last few months.” 

When he didn't offer any further comment, sighing in impatience from your stubbornness. 

“What I mean is, you're a fucking smart scientist and everything, but you still insist on being naive like that.”

“I know,” You mumbled in defeat. 

“Do you now?”

In other times, there would be a cunning answer on the tip of your tongue; hell, in other times, you wouldn't even let him or anyone talk to you like that. The point was that you were so tired of putting yourself in this position, of facing things that weren't even your business because you had been in that defensive and combative mode since things started to get out of control.

You sighed and ran your good hand over your face, rubbing away the melancholy expression.

“Do you still like him?” You couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows in surprise at his question, watching the way he was so serious about it. 

“What’s that supposed to fucking mean?” 

He shrugged. 

“Means whatever.”

“I don’t like him.”

“It wasn't what it seemed.”

“Are you serious?” You couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief. “You don't know anything about my life to insinuate that kind of thing about me.”

“So answer me without sounding like I'm accusing you of something.”

“Well, then ask questions that don't sound like you're accusing me of something.”

And that seemed to have ended the argument (not the conversation), but Benny didn't move or seem willing to do anything to end the topic. 

“... What?” You asked with impatience. 

“The girl who spill the coffee on you, she-”

“Aileen,” Your interruption came with a huff, while wiggling the fingers of your bad hand. “Yes, she’s a stunning woman my ex cheated me with, if that’s what you’re trying to ask.”

“I’m not trying to ask anything,” Benny frowned. “You're the one on the defensive. I don't want to know the details, I just need to make sure you don't put yourself in the front line of something that’s none of your business.”

“He’s someone I know!”

“Are you serious right now?”

“No,” You used a firm tone, watching him go from stern to doubtful in a beat. “I’m a human being and unfortunately I’m sensitive enough to visit my ex who was beaten by a gang of robbers. Do I wish I had done something to her for what happened? Of course, but unfortunately I also like my job. And my ethics, if that matters.” 

“I just don't want to have to clean up any messes again.”

Deep down, if you really cared, you would’ve been more outraged by what he had said to you. In the end, you just became even more pissed off, so it probably meant that you were mad. The audacity, the… That seemed like the kind of thing that put him closer to what Major Crimes really was.

“... You're quite an asshole, you know that?”

He sighed, looking away and probably reevaluating a route. 

“I didn't mean it that way.”

“Sure. How lucky would I be to endure two public humiliations without having provoked them? I really must be a saint.” 

“Then I’ll be the bitch. I meant exactly what I meant,” You both shared a stare. 

In fact, he was right: you were complicating everything. If you had just done what you meant to do, maybe you wouldn't have acted so immature, but there you were, holding your ground because you were an idiot. This was so frustrating, so stupid. You didn't need to do that, you didn't need to try to be something you weren't. No one ever imposed this type of behavior on you, there was no gun in your head telling you that things should be that way. 

You felt defeated. Your physicality, your face, everything exuded the reflections of a woman well out of orbit. 

“I'm going to tell you something very honest,” He took a few steps closer, searching the eyes you’d been avoiding until you could be looking at each other again. “I want you away from this case. Not because I think you're gonna mess something up, but at this point it's clear that your judgment can prevail over the evidence.” 

It wasn't like he was wrong, so you stayed quiet.

“Nick is going to end up being pretty scathing about what happened here today, so believe me when I say that this time I'm really going to let you off the hook. You'll owe me one.” 

Again, you remained silent, which was a bit surprising since you almost always had something to say. He was there, stern, giving you a well-deserved scolding, pointing a finger in your face, and it was as embarrassing as it was incredibly satisfying. It wasn't like what happened in your kitchen or anything like that, because he was truly mad at you, not the circumstances. Without Nick, Isla, Emma; it was you and him. You were the target.

His eyes were focused on yours, because he wanted to say it in all words. They seemed even darker, more powerful compared to yours, and that made you move in shyness. It was a side of Benny you didn't know yet.

“And please wake up. That girl isn’t half the woman you are,” This shocked you even more, since he hadn't stopped looking visibly irritated while passing his eyes over your body. “Nor half-experienced.”

Okay, well, that was… Well… 

He shouldn’t have that right, did he? Why were you blinking several times and not saying anything then?

You stayed quiet – you didn’t want to embarrass yourself somehow. And with your silence, Benny just nodded while averting his gaze for a beat too long, passing a palm over his mouth with a tense sigh. 

“She's going to discharge you and I want you away from here, understand?” He murmured, both hands placed on the mattress to cage you. 

If he asked (which he clearly wouldn't), you would explain the details of your drunken confession from that first date. Benny was very intense, definitive; that was his version a little beyond what happened in your kitchen, and if you pushed a little harder, you'd notice that his eyes were darker than normal, putting you in an instant trance, whether out of fear, regret or… something else.

His eyes, at that moment when you just didn't say anything, went from your eyes to your eyebrows and then to your nose and mouth, agitated about how to actually look at you. 

“Am I understood?” Benny pressed with a growl. 

You nodded. 

“Yes or no?” 

“Yes.”

“Great.”

He walked away with some hesitation, but opened the curtain to leave with a brutality that made you jump instantly. You let out a heavy breath, bringing your injured and closed hand to your chest in a somewhat unconscious act of protection, but not necessarily because of him. Benny was right; reactive, but right. 

What the fuck were you doing in that place?

****

“Why did you do that?”

Henderson was driving back to the station when he asked. The car remained silent, with no answer for a long time, and Benny continued to stare at what he had written down of what Theodore said.

“She’s a partner. Big Nick would do the same.”

“I don't think so,” Henderson snorted. “You like her.” 

Benny didn't comment on that either, because there wasn’t anything to add. In any case, the lack of a reply said everything his friend needed to know.

****

Okay, Benny did like you a little. Amicably. At first it was purely sexual, and he even thought about bragging to Connors that he had managed to fuck you first, because he was sure he wasn't going to make it past the first date. But even with all the other interesting women he did the same thing with, the indifference you had made it for him. If it was just that, if you had drunk a little less and gone to bed with him that night, that would be fine to you; maybe you even expected the other guys would know about it. 

Then you two kissed and he didn’t mention anything to anyone. You became funnier and prettier and he noticed the things about you. Benny found out he liked the idea of it being a secretive thing, to remember how you sounded, the texture of your skin and the smell of your hair and keep it to himself. You were an irredeemable nerd, but you were rebellious: you clashed with Big Nick, you had a beautiful, huge tattoo on your leg, you smoked marijuana, you messed with other girls.

He enjoyed your closeness, whether as a friend or as a lover. It was advantageous to have you around.

Since what happened at the hospital, Benny thought about apologizing and saying that he was just upset. They were really close to get that guys, there was a lot of pressure from above after the debacle with the DEA, no one was in the thick of the fucking around. He didn't apologize despite wanting to, though, because he knew things didn't feel easy for you either.

Well, he couldn’t be sure of it, if he liked you as if in a crush or just as a person who he got along with. You made him hesitate to make some kind of mistake towards you, so what Benny could say for certain was that he liked you. Just a little.

****

“Do you know anything about this?”

You and your dad were in the kitchen washing the dishes when he asked. His tone was low, almost discreet to be heard only by you and, hopefully, distant enough for your mother to take note of the question. The room was small, very different from your old house, and the walls provided good coverage so that she, who was on the emergency stairs smoking a cigarette, was at an even safer distance.

Still, you peeked out the small window above the sink and could see the smoke rising from the exact place you saw her climbing. 

Earlier, they arrived talking about how the newspapers and Twitter had reported what had happened to Theodore. You did no more than say that Gina brought it up, but you weren't on the case and it was ethically (as well as judicially) wrong for you to get too close. Still, you tried hard to say that you knew he was okay – which your father clearly managed to see as a half-truth.

“... I went to see him at the hospital,” You mumbled, eyes fixed on the dishes in front of you, not daring to find out how he was looking at you. 

“You two talked?”

“No,” You paused. “But I saw Aileen.” 

He didn't say anything; the tap was still on, but the noise of dishes being moved had stopped. You pretended you hadn't noticed, going to the cupboard and putting away the already dry glasses, trying to stay away from the excruciating gaze you felt on the back of your head.

That silence had meaning; your father could go days without bringing up the subject waiting for you to talk about it. Like it or not, you could let him use this strategy, and you would have more time to decide how to talk about it, but your mother knew this habit better than you and, well, there was a reason why you were talking away from her. 

You closed the cabinet and turned around, moving closer to him before leaning the small of your back against the table, defensively crossing your arms. He turned off the tap, dried his hands; the worried expression never left his face.

“I was in the hallway and one of the detectives in charge called me. I turned around without realizing she was behind me, so she accidentally spilled hot coffee on my hand,” You held up your hand wrapped in the bandage.

“So you two didn’t interact? Aside from this?”

“Like in an indian soap opera, yeah,” Your answer made him hiss. “She apologized, I think. I don’t remember a lot.”

Well, it was a lie – one he could catch from a mile away. You remembered each piece of moment you could grab from that mess: the way her eyes widened at the sight of the coffee being spilled on your skin, the way she raised her hands to reach out, the pain, the step back you gave to make sure she wouldn’t get any closer and, specially, the way Benny and Henderson were watching the whole scene. 

The reason why you didn’t go into a spiral of remorse was this fact, that amongst Z or Nick, the ones who were there were the least worse. Gus was nice, polite and Benny was… Benny. And for days you expected for something, for Emma to give you one last penitence or for O’Brien to spill some shit on your face; God knew you deserved it all. It was a bad feeling. You didn't like the idea of ​​feeling embarrassed, the exposure or even your lack of reaction, but more than that, you felt torn by the idea that you hadn't felt as sorry for Theodore as you thought you would.

“It’s just… I’ve been punching myself for even going there in the first place,” You sighed in defeat, your good hand passing all over your face. 

“Maybe we raised you way too well.”

“That’s not entirely true… But not because of you, that is.”

And you knew you shouldn't have said that, at least not in those words, because then he would come with more arguments about how you should let your mother in, about how she wanted to be part of your life and how it would be better to have her as a support – as a woman-to-woman conversation would be more enlightening.

He didn’t even need to point that out, in fact; you already slipped in before he could open his mouth. 

“I think it's better not to.”

“Because she could be too harsh?”

“Because she could be too honest. I love her, dad, I really do, but I had a hell of a moment with a coworker that makes me ashamed to even look at his direction because of it. I…”

I don’t want to disappoint her again. I don’t want to be a burden. 

It was always much easier for your brother when it came to your mother: she welcomed him and they just understood each other. With you it was always a problem. She said you spent a lot of time with your dad, that you must be like this or that, that, honey, Theodore is a great kid but I don't think he'll come back after college. He returned. You got married. You got divorced and, during all the crises, you were also embarrassed to come back with your tail between your legs to say that she was right in a way. You made your brother swear under professional secrecy that he wouldn't tell her anything, but you still contained details just in case.

So no, it was better not to. It would be another shame, another thing that she would look at you with great pity, and you were tired of putting yourself in that position.

“I'm off the case anyway. Gina doesn't report to me, just like she gave the tests to the person on the other shift. There's no risk of me getting closer to Theodore again.”

“But you were looking for something when you went there. Did you find it?”

You stared straight at his eyes for a long, beating moment. 

“... I did.”

“And what was it?”

For a brief second, you could still feel the sensation of seeing Theodore beaten up, the dried blood and lowered eyes. Could see the way he seemed fine, injured but not unstable, able to still be operative, essential to the industry. 

“Relief.”

****

“I know you.”

You didn't expect it to come out so full of doubt, but you expected him to have some memory lapse in the time you had seen him.

Dr. Cillian Byrne was a professor you had at university just before you changed your major. It was in your first year, at the end of the first semester, and with the changes in the curriculum for your audiovisual expertise, you only had the chance to attend, roughly, three or four of his classes. He was a bit young for the position, people said, and when your academic psychopathy caught other people's attention, they told you the same thing. Unlike him, you never went that far. After you graduated, you joined the LASD and managed to pass the evaluation for field CSI, but with so much bureaucracy in the way, you ended up stationed in the laboratory for good.

Looking at him there, it felt like a full circle moment. You didn't connect the dots until that last name took place and you exchanged glances with Emma from afar, who just shook her head lightly as if to say you shouldn’t mention Ballard. 

“I took some classes with you in college,” You mentioned after saying your name, watching his eyebrows raise in recognition. 

“Right, I remember you. The girl who ran to the second boring stuff in CSI.” 

“The second?”

“It's the rule. First come the academics, then the laboratory rats, then the coroners and only then the self-centered field ones.”

Emma was walking towards you when he said that, so when she got closer and saw that the two of you were sharing friendly laughs with each other, she went from confused to pleased in seconds.

“It isn’t that usual to see a successor at a faraway party, but I feel like it’s going well,” She said.

The hotel ballroom was full (exaggeratedly, but fair enough) and judging by the amount of times you saw Dr. Byrne going from group to group with smiles, you could agree that he was breaking the awkwardness of being there under these circumstances. Maybe it was the mood itself. Everyone was well dressed, sipping expensive drinks they could only have on special occasions, laughing at whoever was on duty and taking photos for Facebook; the boring part could wait until the next day.

“I was telling her she’s the first familiar face I've seen here, which is a surprise,” Dr. Byrne lied, so you sipped on your soda to avoid giving that away. 

“... Oh,” Emma frowned, a confused smile fighting for its life to not make her discomfort so evident. “You do know each other, then.”

“He was one of my professors in college.”

“Almost,” He teased, eyes swiping from you to her. “I found out just after two weeks that she fled to the computers.” 

“You seem to have been upset about this,” She was the one teasing now, on the verge of embarrassment to be honest. 

“Well, when you start hearing how much this student who changed majors became one of the bests… It’s hard not to feel at least jealous, right?”

And perhaps Emma and you would talk about this in the future if it hadn't been in that sensitive context, because it was clear that Dr. Byrne had looked into everyone in the department and was perhaps doing background checks as if he were doing his homework. It was the first time in months that you and Emma exchanged a similar look, raising your eyebrows and understanding the situation right away, sharing glances with an inside joke that you hadn't told each other for a long time.

“She’s really great, I have to admit. Hurts me to leave this whole amazing team, to be honest,” She went the easy and polite way, one hand tapping on your arm. “I'm sure you'll get along great on a daily basis.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Who else would give me a better report on what’s up with the infamous Major Crimes’s gang?” 

This time, the discomfort that had been eating away at the edges and that you were able to overcome came to the surface, which made you step back with confusion close to indignation. Dr. Byrne seemed neutral despite this, smiling from ear to ear as he watched Emma unsure of what to say and then you, coming to the inevitable conclusion that he was an idiot.

“... I’m afraid that I’m not the best person to expect that. Perhaps the sheriff?” You gave one more chance to get away with the topic, but he shook his head and insisted, keeping that smile that started to scare you off a little. 

“Why wouldn't it be you? Emma told me that you all have an extensive professional partnership. Not to mention the quality of your reports on Ballard's cases.”

“Oh.”

“I just told him that you could explore more of your expertise with the complex cases they work with,” She rushed to add, the glare on your face now clear as the day.

“I see.”

“But I believe, Dr. Byrne, that I also added that she knows how to limit herself to technical reports, all personalized for each context. You saw it yourself, as she was an expert on a case with one of our most senior detectives.” 

Only then, perhaps added to the way you were no longer so interested in being friendly around the subject, did Dr. Byrne step back and nod, praising your ability to remain professional in the work environment or something. You honestly stopped paying attention, eyes swiping over your drink in hand to avoid any signs of clear embarrassment. 

“I’m really excited to start this new journey with you all. See you on Monday?” He turned to you, giving just enough time for your reaction to snap your head up and force a smile. 

“Of course. Welcome to LASD.”

You two shook hands, then he left. 

But Emma stayed. 

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Did you also mention your friendship with Walsh?” You couldn’t help the venom on your voice, which made her sigh. “Very professional, Emma. Very professional.”

“He just did the research, okay? I wasn’t intending to share everything about you guys, but he just came by with a fucking folder with all your names on it. Not to mention what the sheriff told me…” 

Not that you were in a position to speculate, much less to sympathize with whatever she had faced, but Emma lost her neutral posture as soon as he walked away, that you lost some of your irritation and eyed at her suspiciously, seeing her looking around and making sure no one would hear.

“I made a list of recommendations, but he didn't even read them and said that Byrne had already been chosen. Nick came up to me and said that-”

“You talked with Nick about it?”

“See how weird things are,” She rolled her eyes. “I think he feels threatened. Byrne is close to the sheriff, this could undermine O’Brien's freedoms.”

“And is it bad?”

“I don’t know… I mean, when you know how someone operates, it can be easy to guess, but I’ve never been around him enough to be sure of anything.”

“So you’re suspicious because of this,” You concluded and she agreed. With a deep breath, you looked around just as she did minutes before, catching sight of Cillian and Lennon talking. 

“He’s… an academic.”

“He’s a brat,” You shook your head, biting your lower lip while still staring at him from afar. “Older men, high IQs... Just the smell of testosterone bothers me.” 

“It's not like my feminine presence made any difference.”

When you looked at her again, surprised by her condescending tone, Emma was sipping her own drink with some embarrassment. You didn't know if you should give any approval, if you even had the right to do that, but you knew that it was just her trying to have a clearer conscience about what happened. Byrne was going to take over, and she admitted she had misgivings about the guy – it was noble, like a last shred of ethics in the middle of what seemed like a specifically planned transition.

“... You made it easier for Walsh to take over the case once and for all, didn't you?” 

Emma kept quiet, which was enough of an answer. Not knowing what to say, you nodded along in that silence, unsure if you were shocked or just… relieved. 

“I can understand your disbelief in Nick's methods. Take it from me, I had some problems because of it,” You conceded, so she raised her eyes at you sheepishly. “It's hypocritical to say that in parting, but I was upset that you did that knowing that Walsh would somehow throw me into the fire.” 

“You better than anyone could understand that it was an inevitable consequence.”

“I do, that’s why I never tried to make it a big deal all these months. God knows we have a lot to be forgiven for, so… Be careful with Mathias, ‘kay? Just as you’re telling me to be careful with Byrne.” 

It was the closest you and she could get to resolving the problems. In the future, perhaps, you could look at it more coldly and understand that it was too dramatic, but it wasn't the time; at the moment, the two of you have reached a consensus for the greater good.

The kind that included men with a lot of midlife crises.

****

Benny had seen the whole scene, from Byrne approaching you, the jokes he made you laugh at and even the moment he made you throw a look of disgust at him. He shouldn't even be there anymore: he had a date that night, one that would probably result in a good fuck and none of Emma's rascality. Still, as he watched you interact with those people, Benny ended up traveling in thought again.

He thought he missed what you had risked before. You were more relaxed, determined; you had no way of deciding what he was because the two of you barely knew each other. The dress you wore there was similar to the one on your first date, but not the same. If he tried, he could still feel your awkward drunken ways or, with more effort, visualize the result of an alcohol-free night like the one you were having at that party.

Deep down, Benny wanted to feel like a good guy because, for some reason, he didn't want to put you in that trophy position like he did or would do with other women. This comforted him; encouraged him. If he got closer again, if you started a relationship again, he was afraid that he would succumb to the boredom of not being able to hold on to that heroic feeling of having spared you from something toxic, that would soon hurt you or he would hurt himself.

“Are you going?” Connors asked as soon as he felt Benny shift beside him. “She’s gonna say some words.”

So he stayed, both feet firmly planted on the floor as long as he could, watching each other as Emma went up on the small improvised stage to test the microphone and you, who remained in the same place, one arm resting on the bar counter as you looked at the scene with a blank expression.

“You know, I never thought I would go through this before I was 60, but I think destiny is something impressive,” Emma said. “Having to say goodbye to you all is painful, but I know that this new phase will be transformative for all of us. In a positive way, that is.”

You passed your hand (the injured one) over your mouth, as if you were hiding a reaction even though no one other than him was paying attention to you.

“Since I'm not much of a talker and since I know I said my private goodbyes to everyone here, I'd like to recite one of the emails I received from my mentor once I got my position at LASD.”

Everyone got quiet. 

“True peace is only truly achieved when we realize that we cannot be all good and, therefore, we will be villains for some and heroes for others. It’s an unfair and cruel measure, but despite being protagonists of our own stories, our moral compass will not always point in the right direction. It’s up to us, as human beings, to embrace our weaknesses and ensure that, within our obligations, we can do our best. Therefore, our sacrifices will soon be seen as choices, which will or will not shape who we’ll be as people.”

It was only for a second, a thousandth of a second, when Emma finished that corny speech and everyone applauded, that Benny looked at you again and saw that you looked back. It shouldn't have meant anything to you, just like it did to him, but he knew that, perhaps, that adventure should’ve ended before it began.

That was the choice you two made.

****

No pressure tags:

@cheesybadgers

@thoroughlymodernminutia

@seaweeden

@thesandbeneathmytoes

@eclecticfashionbookszipper

@servenas-inner-fangirl

@mysoulisasunflower

[rhapsodynew]

#Sex_drugs and Rock and Roll

On December 22, 1987, Nikki Sixx suffered an almost fatal heroin overdose. It was believed that he died on the way to the hospital, but the doctor, who was a fan of Mötley Crüe, saved Six by giving him two injections of adrenaline in his heart, and brought him back to life. Two minutes of his clinical death became the inspiration for the song "Kickstart My Heart", which reached the 16th position on the Mainstream U.S. Chart. From 1986 to 1987, Six kept a diary of his heroin addiction and eventually entered rehab in January 1988.

"As soon as I appeared clean after months of periodic visits to the clinic, one of the first people I saw was Demi Moore, the same person who first whispered the letters AA in my ear. She was in Vancouver filming a movie while we were starting to work on the album "Dr. Feelgood". And there was talk on the streets that Dami and Bruce Willis had broken up. We had lunch at my producer Bob Rock's house, and after that she asked if I would like to take a ride with her to her hotel. Sometimes a trip home is just a trip home, but being a rock star, I naturally assumed that I was being offered a slightly different kind of trip.

I understood that I was sober, and therefore it was worth taking this seriously, so I rejected this offer. The reason was Brandy Brandt. Since I started smoking weed in Mexico at the age of seven, it's hard to remember a day when I didn't take some kind of dope. For twenty years in a row, I have successfully avoided reality. So when I finally got off heroin, I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. The sobriety was terrifying. I've had my whole life to catch up. And I didn't know where to start or what to do.

I didn't go clubbing anymore, and I hadn't had sex in so long that me and my right-hand man were actually engaged. I became so inhibited and agoraphobic that I went to see a psychiatrist. The recovery process and therapy cleared my "onion" so deeply that I no longer felt like Nikki Sixx. I felt like a kid from Idaho, a super crazy friend of Allan Weeks. I had to learn to be a man again, because I realized that all this time I was just a little boy: immature, impulsive and very susceptible to the evil of the whole World. The doctor suggested that I try a new drug called Prozac. Although I didn't want to take any drugs, even legal ones, he said that my chemical balance was disturbed. My substance abuse, he explained, had paralyzed the production of something called "serotonin" in my brain. He gave me two boxes, each of which contained ten samples of this new wonderful drug. When I walked out the door, I put two pills in my mouth, and by the time I was home, I felt calm. Maybe it was a placebo, but within two days I was able to leave the house and even communicate a little. I started dating Lisa Hartman, but she was too busy for me (although obviously she wasn't too busy for Clint Black. In fact, most of my so-called friends didn't have time for me anymore. Some of the Metallica guys came up to me at the Cathouse and offered to buy me a drink, but when I told them I was done, they left and didn't talk to me anymore. It's the same with Slash, it's the same with all the others.

Fortunately, an old friend named Eric Stacy, who played bass in Faster Pussycat, also just completed a rehabilitation course. I invited him to live with me, so we sat together all the time and felt like two idiots. From time to time, we decided to go to a club and try to pick up some chicks. But either we forgot, or we actually never knew how to do it. We said, "Hello." They replied, "Hello." Then there would be an awkward pause, and we'd say, "No… Nothing… Don't pay attention"..." from the book "Dirt" by Mötley Crüe.

[quinnswritingquill]

The Drug In Me Is You

Jason Todd x AFAB Reader

✩✫✪✬✭✯✮✰✩✫✪✬✭✯✰✩✫✪✬✭✯✮✰

✩✫✪✬✭✯✮✰✩✫✪✬✭✯✰✩✫✪✬✭✯✮✰

CW: Slowburn, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Light? BDSM, Blood Kink, Praise Kink, Degradation Kink, Honestly Kinky in Gen., Reader has female gentile, Use of Y/N but not too much.

AN: This is pretty much of a what if Jason was a sugar daddy turned lover. I also posted this on Ao3 as well.

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ ·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ ·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*

Not everyone is built to handle the harsh world of Gotham. I mean fuck, I was raised in this hell bent city. I grew up surviving just barely over the poverty line. Lower income childhood meant cheap or in the box food for dinner. It meant thrifted clothes or cheap chain stores having sales and deals. Brands for show. School supplies, book ads, shoes, ect.

Nothing would prepare me for tipping my toe onto the world of rich men and wealthy women. Couldn't afford to attend college, not that it was the most important thing for me. But I needed to live on my own. Support myself. Somehow I managed to land a job as a waitress at a high-end restaurant near the wealthiest part of Gotham City. The hourly pay barely covers my rent. But the tips? Those help cover food, some to cover miscellaneous costs, and a little bit extra for savings incase of other crap. Still surviving. Barely but better.

No need for another job right now. It's been months since I started there. And I even have my own little studio apartment because of the job. Within a month of saving all the money I earned and money I previously saved. It's old and covered floor to ceiling with art pieces. Some older and some fairly more recent. I like looking at them. They bring life to this creepy old building.

Today I scrambled recklessly out of bed once my alarm clock started blasting. Turning it off I glanced at the time. Damn it's only 10 am, I still have about a few hours before my shift. I stretched out my sore muscles and walked to my small kitchen to make brunch. I grab out my lovely yogurt bowl and place it on the table along with the food I'm gonna scarf down. I mix my granola mix with some strawberry yogurt in the bowl. A quick meal before I get dressed for work.

By the time I finished eating, showering, dressing up, and cleaning up it's one o'clock. I check my work outfit just in case. We only had two choices that could be four different outfits at work. White or black button up, black slacks, or a knee length skirt. Obviously with tights tho. I picked a fuzzy off my black button up and straightened the pencil skirt. Finally I put my heels into my bag and slipped on my flats.

The restaurant was busy as usual. Honestly I wished for at least one day for us to be slow. But unfortunately rich people don't exactly give one shit. At least I think so. It's not something I would actually say, well to their faces.

My coworker Allison comes up to me as I swipe a card to finish paying my current table's bill.

" Hey Y/N? I just wanted to let you know I just sat three at table ten. The reservation is for Wayne." She said before patting my shoulder.

I smile, " Yeah okay, thanks Ally."

I go back and hand the receipt and card to my leaving table and head towards table ten. Three gorgeous looking men sit, chatting and laughing like they're not at a five star restaurant but at a diner by a public highschool. Weird beautiful men, but alright. I pull out my spiral notepad, pen in my right hand, ready for them to order.

" Hello there! You must be the Wayne reservation. I am your waitress this evening. My name is Y/N. Are gentlemen ready to order drinks?" I make sure to sweeten my words.

The three men stop talking. One with the shorr, but longer dark hair speaks, " Yes we are. We also know what we would like to order as well."

The man with the red hair and the man dawning the short black hair with a white streak also agree with the other gentleman. I jotted down the orders. I collect their menus and walk over to put in the orders so they get sent to the kitchen.

Once they finished eating, I walked over with the receipt and the card that belonged to the charming man with the long hair. I bid the men good day, leaving with the signed copy receipt. I opened the book to see the receipt and three sets of tips. Two were around a hundred in cash tips. The other was. What the hell? Five hundred dollars in cash?? The entire meal cost less than that! I stare blankly at the money before grabbing it out to place it in my wallet I use for my personal tips of the day.

Fuck it, I take it back. Only some rich people are douchebags. I finish my things up and head out to the back side of the building for a short smoke break before I take my lunch. I pull out my unopened cigarette pack from my bag and hit the bottom of the pack before unwrapping it. I grab out my FUCK OFF labeled lighter from the side pocket. I light it and take a long inhale of smoke.

" Got a light?" A voice asks.

I exhale and nod, " Yeah." And hand my lighter over, still not looking over.

He laughs, " Thanks, sweetheart. Did you like the tip? Thought you deserved more since you had to deal with my brother Dick and our friend Roy. They can be… Loud."

That's when I looked over like a deer in headlights, " Uh.. Ooh that was you? And yeah, thank you for the tip. But you do realize the entire check was less than that right? I'm not complaining, just curious."

He pulls the cigarette out of his mouth before taking a bit to talk, " Yeah, I know that, darling. But I like spoiling hard-working people. Money is money. I also know that this place gets more money than they pay their waiters and waitresses. I know that most of you survive with tips."

"Oh." I manage out.

I can't but stare at the sincere look on his face. His absolutely hot face. God I need to get a fucking grip. He finishes his cigarette and hands me back my lighter. I put the rest of my own cancer stick out as well before shoving my shit back into my bag.

His hands are in his pocket as he smiles at me.

"My name is Jason, by the way, sweetheart. What's yours?" His right hand extends towards me.

I take his hand to shake, " It's Y/N."

We shake hands but before I can pull away he already turned mine over and plants a light kiss on it. I just stared like a god damned weirdo so unsure of what was going on. Letting my hand go he shoves his own back into his pocket.

"Have a good night Y/N." And he walks away.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me? My face is hot and I rush back inside to grab my lunch. I sit in the back of the locker room slash break room. Recounting the events only worsens my reddened face. I shovel my chicken caesar salad trying to refocus myself. Spoiler alert, that didn't fucking work. I look at the clock on the wall. An hour and I'm out of here. I can just forget pretty boy and move on. He's definitely just a flirt. Get over it Y/N.

Even when I got home, I can confidently say I didn't forget Jason. In actuality, all I did was think about him. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.

[crazyunsexycool]

Unbreakable

Chapter 3

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: bit of fluff I guess

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: we finally have the next chapter. Bit dialogue heavy but reader gets a friend

Series masterlist

Ch. 2

The little bell above the door rang, again. Every time it did you looked up hoping to see your new friend walk through. After another few minutes you see Lisa scanning the dining area. Her eyes light up when she sees you and a warm smile grazes her lips as she gets closer. She gave off cool aunt vibes with her up to date clothes and accessories. Her honey blonde hair falling just about her shoulders and the confidence that just shone through as she walked further into the space.

“Hi, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.” She said once she sat down.

“Not at all. I got here a little early.”

“Have you been here before?” Lisa asks as she looks at the menu.

“A few times. They’ve never given me trouble for having Marvin. Some other places have been a bit of a pain.”

Lisa leans to the side to see Marvin sitting calmly at your side. She smiles as she straightens back up.

“He’s gorgeous. Is he a service dog or a support dog?”

“Service. My therapist thought it would be a good idea to help with my ptsd and anxiety. I’ve had him for a few months now and he’s done wonders.”

“That’s good to hear.” She replies before the server takes both of your orders and then leaves. “And how long have you been going to the group?”

“A few weeks, I really didn’t want to at first but it’s helped knowing that there are other people that have gone through similar experiences. That I don’t have to feel ashamed about it. How about you?”

“Well I don’t go as regularly as I used to. What I went through happened about ten years ago. I’ve healed and I’ve moved on but sometimes I’ll have a nightmare or if I have an argument with my new partner I get anxious so going to a meeting helps.”

“Oh,” that piqued your interest. “So you’re seeing someone?”

“Yes, my partner and I have been together for three years now. She’s wonderful and so understanding. Do you think you’ll ever see yourself dating again?”

You shake your head and sigh.

“Don’t worry, I used to think the same thing. Actually my girlfriend and I started out as friends and it developed into something more.”

“That’s lovely. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to be in a relationship again but I’m not closing myself off to the possibility.”

“That’s all you can do.” She smiles.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Of course.” Lisa says.

“Was your last partner also a woman?”

“Yes, a lot of people have a difficult time accepting that women can also be abusive. It didn’t help that she was also extremely manipulative.”

You just nod in acknowledgment as the server shows up and places your food down.

For the next few minutes you ate and just learned a few things about each other, like what you did for a living and about your families. The more the conversation flowed the more you realized you had in common.

“You know something that helped me get control of my life back was learning how to defend myself.” She said after taking a sip of her drink.

“How so?”

“Well I learned how to handle and shoot a gun. Maybe you should look into it.”

“I don’t think I could ever shoot a gun.”

“It doesn’t have to be a gun. Maybe some form of karate or boxing. If you know how to defend yourself, you’ll be more comfortable around people. You could even have a friend go with you. Do you have friends?” She asks softly. “If not, I'm more than happy to go with you to a few classes.”

Would you consider Steve as a friend? Maybe. He was, however, an Avenger. Maybe he would be willing to give you a few lessons.

“I have a friend, kind of.”

“What does ‘kind of’ mean?” She leans forward.

“I’m still getting to know him, so I haven’t fully decided but maybe if he is willing to do this with me that means I can start to really trust him.”

“Who is this friend?”

“His name is Steve.” You mutter and she smiles.

“That’s all I get, his name? What does he do?”

“Uh-“ you blank for a second, unsure of how to answer. “He used to be in the military. He’s a security guard of sorts. He’s very nice. I actually met him when I sat in at a wrong group meeting.”

“Hhmm, he sounds interesting. Is he cute?”

You choke on your drink and cough.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Lisa says with a laugh.

“Uh I have noticed that he is attractive and very… fit.”

“Do you like him?”

“No,” you shake your head. “Not like that. I couldn’t.”

“Ok, I believe you. But still, ask him if he’d be willing to go with you and then let me know.”

You nod and you each place money down for your meal. Outside Lisa asks if it’s ok to give you a hug which you accept. It’s the first hug you’ve received in at least a year and a half. It made you realize how much you craved being close to someone.

After finally reaching your apartment, Marvin jumps up on the couch and gets comfortable. His eyes follow you around, when he can’t see you his head shoots up. He relaxes once again when you walk back out in sweats and a t-shirt.

You scratched Marvin behind his ear with one hand as you stared at your phone in the other.

“What do you think Marv, should I call or text him? I don’t even know what I would talk about though.”

Your phone vibrates in your hand and you jump, dropping the phone in the process. Marvin huffs as you scramble to grab it only to be surprised at seeing Steve’s name on the screen?”

“Hello?” You answer.

“Hey Y/N, it's Steve.”

“I know.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles to himself. “Don’t mind me, I'm just tired.”

“Oh, any particular reason?”

“I just got back from a two day mission. It wasn’t great.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know. So what’s up?”

“I just wanted to hear your voice.” He says after a moment of quiet. “I don’t want to dump anything on you, I’d just like to think about something else, if that’s ok.”

“It’s more than ok.”

“Did you do anything fun today?”

“I actually did. I had lunch with someone from my group. I think we’ll be good friends. She’s really nice.”

“That’s good. It’s good to have friends that you can rely on.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you like a friend to rely on?” You asked softly. Already aware that two of his closest friends were gone. That he was as lonely as you were, maybe even more because people turned their backs on him for not saving everyone.

“I would like that very much.”

“Dog park in 20?”

“I’ll see you there.”

It was a bit chilly even with the sun still out. You opted for wearing something warm, there was no need to impress Steve. Marvin was running around chasing the ball you had thrown from your place on the blanket you had laid on the ground. Steve shows up a few minutes late with two bags in his hands and a cup holder. He smiles as he sits down but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Hey, thanks again for the invite.” He says as he grabs a cup and holds it out for you. “Hot chocolate.”

You hesitate for a moment but take it. It was nice of him to get you a warm drink and you had to remind yourself that not everyone was trying to hurt you.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Where is Marvin? I got him something if that’s ok.”

You nod before taking a sip of the drink. Marvin comes running back with the ball you’d thrown in his mouth. Panting and happy. He lets go of the ball when he sees Steve and takes a few steps in his direction. Marvin sniffs around Steve before bumping his head against the latter’s chest. He does it again and Steve looks from him to you confused.

“Is everything ok Steve?” You asked as Marvin whined.

“Yeah, what is going on with Marv?”

“You’re very anxious and he’s trying to get you to interact in order to help you calm down. So go on and pet him.”

You push your glasses up as you wait for Steve to do as you ask. He sighs and starts to scratch Marvin behind the ears, it’s slow until he’s fully petting Marvin. You can see his shoulders relax and a small smile appear after a while.

“Want to talk about it?”

“I just saw someone that reminded me of my friend.”

“Sam or Bucky?”

“Sam.”

“Tell me something about him.” You say quietly.

“Let’s see, I met him six years ago while I was working in D.C. he used to work helping veterans with PTSD. He’s funny and laid back.”

“Are you trying to set me up on a date with him? Because if you are, count me in.”

Steve smiled in your direction.

“We used to go running together in the mornings. Even if I outran him, he didn’t care. When I couldn’t trust anyone he opened his home up to me, no questions asked. We had this routine where he wrote out a list of must watch movies that I’d missed and we would watch them together. He really is funny and very compassionate. Even when he has his own problems he finds a way to help others. Sam is a good man and I just fucking miss him.” Steve sniffled and then cleared his throat.

“He sounds great.”

Steve just nodded. “Anyways, I got Marvin a puppuccino and a dog toy.” He took the lid off the extra cup and held it out for Marvin, who immediately accepted it.

Once he was done he took out a frisbee and threw it giving Marvin a perfect reason to run off. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, then you started talking about nothing important but still entertaining. Before you realized it, it was time to leave. Marvin had made his way over to you and didn’t fuss when you put on his vest and leash on again. Steve, always the gentleman, helped you up.

“Um Steve?”

“Yeah?” His gaze is fixed on you. It’s still amazed you how he seemed intimidating and even scary but right now with the gentleness in his demeanor he looked as vulnerable as you felt. You had been thinking about it since he talked about Sam and if you ever wanted to move past the abuse you lived you had to take a first step. Steve had always made you feel safe enough to want to take a step in the right direction.

“Do you still have that list?”

“I do.” A tiny glimmer of hope flashed in his eyes and you knew you were making the right decision.

“I thought that maybe you’d like to cross one off the list. With me… and Marvin of course.”

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot actually.” He smiles at you. It was different this time, hopeful.

“Ok. Does Friday work for you?”

“I’m free on Friday.”

You nod once and smile shyly up at Steve.

“I’ll see you Friday then.”

“See you then.”

You say your goodbyes and you leave with Marvin happily leading the way. Both of you anxiously waiting for Friday.

Ch. 4

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[hardlystrictlystarwars]

“Answer the damn question Miguel,” | Miguel O'hara

Miguel O'hara x F!Reader

Warnings: Spoilers for ATSV, mentions of alcohol consumption, arguing, angst, strong language, not beta-read or proof-read, implied mother of Gabriella

Word Count: 700

A/N: This is kinda a test to see if my tags are working. But also a midnight burst of creativity that kinda went off the rails. Anyways hope you like it!

Likes, re-blogs and comments are appreciated!

“You look so much like him you know,” You said as he walked into your home. 

A bottle of red on the table with a half empty glass. He had come to learn you didn’t like wine as much in this universe. Half an empty glass translated to about an hour of waiting at the table. Waiting for him to come home. 

“What are you talking about?” He said in the doorway, not having even put down his keys yet. He knew something was up. That little arch in your brow gave it away. 

“It’s silly really,” You breathed out, swirling your glass, “I never thought you would be Spider-man in another universe,” 

“Babe, are you okay?” He asked, walking over to you.

You immediately stood up from where you were, backing yourself up away from him. 

“Babe, what’s going on?” He asked, slowing his pace, reaching his hand out for you, “Just talk to me here,”

“Our first apartment, why did we want to move out of it?” You quizzed him, grabbing a steak knife for protection. 

“What is this all about?”

“Answer the damn question Miguel,” You threatened. Your breath was getting heavier as you started to pant.

“Woah- cálmate, Gabriella is going to hear you,” He tried calming you.

“Gabriella is at a friend’s house,” You replied, “Now answer the fucking question,” 

Miguel gawked at your sudden change. You had been perfectly fine since he left for work, making him a piece of toast with peanut butter on it right as he went out the door. A year into living in this universe and it was a dream he never wanted to wake up from. At least until now. 

“Why is this so important to you babe?” He asked, still trying to reach out to you, “Did something happen at the lab? I know you’ve been stressed about the collider not-”

“Answer the question!” You warned him, “I won’t ask again Miguel,”

“Mold infestation,” He simply replied.

You stared at him for a second before he decided to continue, “They found mold in one of the neighboring units, and made everyone clear out. We stayed the night with your friends for a week and then found a new place right before Gabriella was born,”

You took a deep breath and glanced away from him, the kitchen knife now at your hip.

“I said why did we want to move out Miguel, not why did we have to move out,” You replied in a low voice. 

“What’s the difference? We still ended up moving, the boxes weren’t any lighter that weekend,” He chuckled, but you remained stoic.

“You don’t remember Miguel?” You shook your head clearing becoming more frustrated, you sat down in a seat again, only this time at the seat furthest away from him. You were looking around the room, everywhere but him, “We had been looking for a new apartment for months, does that not ring a bell? We were looking because of you! Because of those god-damn peanut trees!”

Miguel remembered looking up your old apartment building when he first came. The building was gross and dingy, and probably had a million code violations. Mold just happened to be the only one the inspector caught that day.  Your apartment was not really any better than your neighbor’s. There was never any hot water for the first year and you were sandwiched between that family that liked to watch MTV on full blast and an aspiring DJ. 

“Babe, they were just peanut trees,” He said taking a seat on the other side of the table, “Hardly as bad as mold,”

“Miguel, anyone in the last ten years could have looked the building report in a public health database to see that there was mold,” You said as your fingers furiously tapping on the surface of the table and your lips pursed for a moment, “But only my husband would’ve known that we were looking to move because he was mildly allergic to the peanut that grew nearby,” 

And then it clicked for Miguel. You had given him a piece of peanut butter toast this morning. And nothing had happened. He took a bite, kissed you on the lips and walked out the door. He was completely unaware that you were testing him. And he had failed. 

“Who are you Miguel?” You asked, eyes glaring at him, “Because you’re not my damn husband,”