#and also to display more relationship dynamics i should add this

[sarieatstars]

i think the chapter count is going up i just got like 10 new ideas to advance the story yall

[essycogany]

Rare But Not So Rare Sonic Moments

Sonic Swooning Over Amy

So, Sonic’s been kind of the driving force of Sonamy recently. Let’s analyze that.

I’ll show Sonic having feelings for Amy in almost every media aside from Fleetway and the two cartoons she isn’t in. I’ll also present the “whys” in more detail then just “Amy calmed down.” While that’s part of it, I’d like to add my own can of worms. And possible headcanons too. Bear in mind I never grew up with Sonic, so forgive my mixed opinions.

While I love Amy having a crush on Sonic like the energetic sugarplum she is, nowadays Sonic’s oddly been the drive of their dynamic. Any examples of it beforehand? Let’s look outside of the games first.

Sonic X

This Sonic takes more time to himself. He’s introverted, so his feelings for her isn’t displayed as obviously as the others. In fact, most people think he didn’t like her in this show because of how much he runs away. He even manipulated her by flirting in one episode. In my opinion this show has Sonic running away from Amy more often than not. Hot take: Sonic and Amy never had a real conversation either. They don’t…talk like they do now. Unless you count,

“Oh, Sonic I love you!” “Ah! C’mon, Amy. Knock it off!” No, it wasn’t constant but still common.

From my point of view, the conversations were short lived to none existent. It was the same in the earlier games too. Compared to how they talked to other characters or now, you might be able to notice. At least until Sonic And The Black Night were he talks to both The Lady Of The Lake and Amy. The two would also have visual gags of Sonic getting aggressively hugged by Amy. Or Amy falling on her face while trying. Aside from one moment in Sonic Riders where Sonic put Amy in danger, it wasn’t good or bad. Just cartoony for lack of a better term.

Maybe I’m just insane. You decided.

Anyhow, their dynamic in X is clearly built on actions. Like Amy giving Sonic a seashell bracelet and Sonic giving her a rose. Those little things. While I do prefer them being able to hold longer conversations, I don’t mind how X handles them. But let’s get to Sonic’s crush. I assume in Sonic X Sonic is conflicted. He’ll run away from Amy or try to pull from her on most occasions and others Sonic would constantly hold onto her when he doesn’t have to. For a long period on time no less. Amy’s the same way. One moment she’d be head over heels and other she’s bashful. Goes to show how young they were I guess. I have no clue as to why Sonic liked her back because there wasn’t much to go off of. Except the bracelet moment or her general kindness like feeding him one time. She was a bit much to him and most characters back then.

It’s possible Sonic just liked her and that was it, but I’d imagine due to all of the hand holding and small reciprocated gestures were enough to convey something was there. Straight forward and simple like the show itself. I headcanon this Sonamy being where the boyfriend gets dragged into a relationship and is fine with it. This version of Sonic’s attraction seems to be chaotic pink hedgehogs apparently.

Sonic Boom

Should I even explain it? Might as well because not only do I have something different to say, but these two haven’t been brought up much. Sonic and Amy’s romance mostly is played for laughs. Not saying their love for each other means less because of that, but the humor is the main reason they exist. Much like why in the main canon they started out the way they did. Regardless, I’ll dive deeper into Boom!Sonic’s affection for Amy to the best of my ability.

Boom!Sonic is egotistical, so whenever he thinks Amy’s crushing on someone else, it bothers him. Apparently he’s the only one she’s allowed to like. No “Radical Speedsters” or “Celebrities” can take her attention away from him. Like in Sonic X he tries to keep his crush to a minimum. Even though both him and Amy are terrible at it.

The moment in “Fortress Of Squalitude” a episode where everyone is a bit rude to Amy, close to the end Sonic says, “We may have a hard time saying it Amy. But…well you know.” Then she responds with, “Yeah, I know.” It’s such a sweet moment. Not as powerful as most moments with them but for Boom it’s very nice. Sonic and the others still value her as part of the team, but it’s Sonic who expresses it out loud. Goes to show how much he cares about her for even attempting to open up in this instance. Didn’t even have to finish the sentence. Amy understood perfectly. I also noticed how much he tries his best to impress her. When he needs to return her book back, finds her hammer in Archie, (Vector did it in the show and Sonic got jealous) shows off randomly or dreams about her, and stopped racing to get her some eggs in one episode.

The funny thing about this Sonic is how much of a people pleaser he can be. Especially since the towns people are very spoiled and ungrateful. He wants to be needed and that’s possibly why he goes out of his way to do special things for Amy like go out on picnics, implied dates, and comforts her. She’s very take charge in Boom and Sonic has no problem calling her out when he needs to. Much like Amy in the show and games. Sonic will even put effort into doing things he doesn’t feel like doing for her. How honorable of him. Sure, sometimes he tries to make her jealous and isn’t perfect, but he tries. I believe Sonic likes Amy because again like Sonic X Boom isn’t canon, so more outright reciprocated feelings are allowed in this case. Not to mention the dude likes being shipped with her in the show. Which is a win in my book.

Sonic enjoys bugging Amy much like a playful boyfriend. He probably admires her leadership, but I’m saying this by observation. It could be for anything. Maybe he thinks she’s cute when she’s mad and finds her temper amusing. It could also be for her stubbornness. Some people like each other because of how much they can relate to their partner and in Sonic Boom’s case they’re two cuts of the same cloth. Although still different, due to the show’s theme, they carry the same condescending, slightly self centered, hotheaded, stubborn, and humorous traits. But they’re still good hedgehogs with a heart of gold and usually makes reasonable decisions. Not to mention they’re both equally shy about their crushes. In Sonic Boom, Sonic and Amy is that married couple who doesn’t get along much, but when they do you’ll understand why they stay together.

Reboot Archie Sonic

I haven’t read the comics (unless you count watching a few dubs and internet reviews) but I’ll give my limited thoughts. Luckily there’s not much to say. Although most people believe it was unintentional, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch that someone from Archie thought it was a fun idea to have Sonic crush on somone in this reboot. Maybe it’s unintentional but it doesn’t seem that way.

I’m basically using this part of the post to ramble about how Reboot Archie’s Sonic still manages to be a casanova. He’s like a mixture of his old self and how he is in the games. That’s also why he acts the way he does around Amy. Could it also possibly mean he’s meant to like her canonically too? Reboot Archie did have to follow a more accurate way of writing Sonic after all. Anyways, let’s run down the list of Game!Sonic if he was allowed to be down bad for Amy like they’re already dating. Which is how I view this continuity. It’s basically if Boom and X had a weird fusion and this version of Sonic’s crush was the result. Except here he manages to be more bold and upfront. He knows what he’s doing. Here’s a run down.

First of all, THIS. No joke, more of these interactions would send me to the moon. I would explain why but the panel speaks for itself.

Sonic says, “I was worried about you.” Which he hasn’t admitted to her before this to my knowledge. He states this by giving her a side hug. Along with other out of nowhere physical affection and flirting. Not to single out Sonally fans. Sonic and Sally clearly have a close connection people appreciate and I respect that. In any case, Sonic and Amy in Reboot Archie also matches energies so much. They’re both clearly running off the same brain cell. You’d think they were together. They’d be a chaotic couple that’ll do the most outlandish things and somehow manage to survive them. After willfully risking their lives they’d do it again because being normal and safe is boring. I promise you, this version of Sonamy would be a huge force to be reckoned with.

-I’d also like to mention my friend Salty showed an example of Sonic being jealous of Knuckles coming with Amy on a mission and it’s brilliant. Dude gets all bratty about it too. Archie!Sonic does not play around. The post in question.

Sonic Prime

Already talked about this in another post, but I want to mention it again. Prime!Sonic is the most sensitive version of the character, so it’s no surprise he displays his admiration for Amy freely and out loud.

This moment says enough on its own. Sonic’s like this throughout the entirety of Prime and even changes the tone of his voice when speaking to or about her. It’s so authentic and adorable and makes him stand out against other variants.

Amy’s crush on Sonic in Prime is up to interpretation, but I don’t think she likes him in that way personally. Like other characters, Amy tends to be done with Sonic’s childishness. Guess she thinks he’s probably too immature to be boyfriend material whether she has feelings or not. Sonic on the other hand, acts how you wouldn’t expect. I personally see him as his own interpretation, so I’m fine with it. If he wants to have goo-goo eyes for Amy in Prime, it’s cool.

Prime!Sonic has it bad and I wouldn’t be shocked if he’d be the one wanting to go out on dates. Maybe he’d cook dinner for her sense he cooks in the show. I’d imagine Amy declining at first, but does it after his constant begging. They’d be swapped version of most emotional to least emotional. Prime!Amy would be a girlfriend who feels more like a parent than a partner.

Unleashed/Black Night

No one can bring up Sonic Unleashed without the lovely Amy meeting the Werehog scene. I love how Sonic didn’t like Amy hugging him, but right after she left he solemnly mopes around for probably the first and last time. He’s never in any game slowly moped around disappointedly before. Proving he only has certain reactions when it comes to Amy Rose. At least in some continuities. Unleashed gives you a choice to go on a date with Amy or not. Then the next game Sonic Team followed through with it, but ended up having Amy mad at Sonic for missing it. At least Sonic tried. Not to mention his reaction to The Lady Of The Lake and him flirting is fun to watch.

See how Sonic still likes her back but it isn’t because she’s “calmed down?” She’s still the same excitable love strucked Amy. There must be something more to it. Other than the obvious answer with Sonic Team wanting to do something with the pear. I have no idea why but having multiple hints even in the past must’ve been done for the fun of it. “We created this love interest but then railed back to Sonic not reciprocating her feeling. But we still want to market them as a couple in some way.” This franchise never cease to confuse me.

Amy encouraging Sonic in one of the cutscenes could’ve been where he started liking her back. Not in the way he does now, but he admired her none stop compassion and might’ve wanted to return the favor. “Eh, she’s sweet. Maybe a date won’t be so bad.” The fact he went out of his way to get her a chilidog and flirted with a different version of her should tell you enough. Of course it would take a while before anything else happened. 

IDW/Sonic Frontiers

Yeah, after issue 2, Sonic’s never felt the need to run from Amy. From the comics to Sonic Frontiers there’s a lot of moments of Sonic being somewhat emotionally candid. Not by much, but close. I believe Amy’s the reason for that in a way. Sonic’s not afraid to hang out with her anymore. He even hugs her back on some occasions. “Ames” was a nickname from fanfics and Boom which became canon over time and he occasionally calls her that.

Sonic wishes to share an umbrella and spend more time with her. He also gets excited to see her more often. It’s like Reboot Archie but slightly toned down. At least up until the hard to trigger lines from Sonic Frontiers. The same game where he outright admits to being worried about Amy and smiles back at her with a Coco looking between the two. Then he supports Amy’s decision to leave etc. We all know where we are now.

Crazy how the more you look into this franchise the more tiny details you notice. It’s also crazy how much Sonic’s been into the love interest he originally was already supposed to love. To me, Sonic had a crush on Amy in Unleashed but fell in love with her in IDW. What makes Sonamy gripping though is how unique it is compared to most romantic relationships. Leaves it to be more entertaining whenever something unexpected happenes. It keeps you engaged.

Why Sonic Crushes On Amy?

1. Amy doesn’t want to slow him down. Obviously because of IDW issue 2’s love confession with Amy saying “I can’t change you. I don’t want to change you.” Amy joins Sonic and he includes her more often because of that. His speed is no match for her persistence anyways.

2. She shows compassion and love for those around her. Not just to Sonic, but everyone. She’s the definition of soft hearted. Even for people Sonic and his friends would be weary about. Think about now in the recent comics and games where Sonic’s trying it out. I do think it should be more of Amy’s thing then Sonic’s but it just goes to show how much she probably inspired him. Who knows? Even in the past he had respect Amy for her tenderheartedness.

3. Amy’s energy matches Sonic’s. Though sometimes she can be overly enthusiastic compared to him. Even before now, Amy’s always been adventurous and that’s probably something Sonic liked from the start. Not in a romantic way, but in a respectful way. If he were to have a partner he’d need someone to keep him grounded and be on the same level. No exceptions.

4. Her loyalty. No matter what Sonic does (including times she disagrees) she’s one of Sonic’s most loyalist companions. Obviously other characters are too, but Amy has her being a long time childhood friend/Sonic 06 and Unleashed going for her. 06 for trusting Sonic over Silver and Unleashed for still loving Sonic despite his transformation. Heck, before she knew who the Werehog was she wasn’t disgusted. Amy’s commendable for that.

From all these points here physical attraction isn’t included. What I like about both characters is their crushes don’t stem to how they look. Though it is worth mentioning Sonic has called Amy “Radiant” in TMOSTH, but that’s probably the closest we’ll ever get to an outright physical compliment. From Sonic at least.

- Side note thanks to @saltynsassy31 again, Sonic and Amy’s dynamic can be summed up as not a relationship but rather a situationship. Yes, it’s a real word. What does it mean? Basically two friends who has crushes on each other but doesn’t do anything about it. Just a fun detail for you guys.

Why Did Sonic Run From Amy In The Past?

I’ll make this quick, but the reason Sonic ran from Amy wasn’t because he didn’t like her. On the contrary. Sonic always could’ve ran at his normal speed to get away from her. Sonic’s the fastest thing alive. Why would he let someone he “didn’t like” catch up to him? I personally think he enjoyed the thrill of the chase. It’s why I believe he misses it nowadays. Though I do understand Sonic didn’t often treat Amy like a friend. Not in a way I can understand at least. Not that I think their relationship was bad, but from what I’ve seen, it was more told then shown due to Sonic and the gang not including her on missions. Amy normally had to catch up with them which was a running gag. Especially in SA2. It might be why some prefere her in stuff like Reboot Archie, Boom, IDW, and Frontiers. Because Amy’s friends includes her on adventures now. At least in my opinion. Correct me if I missed anything.

Final Headcanon

Since Sonic in the games has been the one to push the Sonic side of Sonamy much more then Amy does for herself, I’d like to think in most cases (especially as their dynamic grows) Sonic would start carrying other versions of him traits like trying to mess with her.

He’d want to get her to chase him more often and Amy would probably ask once or twice, “What’s going on and why are you acting weird?” He’d definitely play it off as him fooling around. Sonic doesn’t know much about romance, but he does know what Amy likes. Maybe he’d ask her out or go on a bunch of traveling missions. Anything to get her to pay attention to him again. After all, there’s been examples of the guy feeling ignored by her in and out of canon. It’s possible.

-There’s also a consistent detail where Sonic’s finally ready to open up but has to deal with Amy doing her own thing. Or when he’s face with different variants of her, he’s flirtatious with them. For the fastest thing alive, he has terrible timing when it comes to making his mind up.

Conclusion

Welp, there you have it, darlings. Examples of Sonic crushing on Amy more than some would think. It’s a Sonic character analysis and Sonamy post all in one. I know there’s more, but I think this gathers examples from the actual content.

Stay Creative! 💜

[theunsinkableship1]

SMOKE AND MIRRORS?

Smoke and mirrors? I don't know, that is what I know for certain, but...

The events surrounding “chaos week” remain the greatest dissonance in the narrative of Luke Newton and Nicola Coughlan allegedly being in love with other people. The sequence of events during that week, coupled with their subsequent behavioral shifts, feels too deliberate and well-timed to dismiss as mere coincidence. Chaos week was not random, it was purposeful, likely orchestrated with fandom in mind. This alone speaks volumes about the complexity of their situation and the unique bond they share.

Before diving into the details, we must recognize that Luke and Nicola have always been unapologetically open about their connection, their mutual admiration, and their playful interactions. Prior to June 12, their relationship was marked by overt displays of affection and an almost magnetic camaraderie that was loud, proud, and undeniable. The abrupt shift to being elusive and discreet post-chaos week is suspicious, particularly given their prior dynamic. This change cannot be entirely attributed to fan speculations. If they were simply friends, this misunderstanding could have been cleared up quickly and effectively with straightforward communication. Yet, the silence is deafening, and the avoidance suggests something deeper, something they feel they cannot or should not fully address. If they were only friends, the message could have been clearer. Yes, they don’t owe explanations to strangers on the internet, but we’ve seen them correcting narratives in real time (e.g., the Luke cake story), and we know they are aware of how we interpret things. Nicola is chronically online.

Another glaring inconsistency lies in how their supposed current relationships are handled publicly. Nicola, known for her privacy on personal matters, has seemingly, through some interpretations, gone public with her alleged boyfriend. This contrasts with Luke, who has historically been open about his romantic relationships, always acknowledging them publicly. Yet now, there is a notable reluctance on his part to confirm anything explicitly, even as speculation swirls. Nicola may have decided not to hide her relationships anymore, but why now? And why so soon into this supposed relationship? The bigger question is what she is really doing, or if it's just an interpretation of the situation. Luke may have decided to separate his private life from his professional one, perhaps because it had unwanted effects on his previous relationships. We could easily argue that this approach could be even more damaging to his reputation, fueling the "bad boyfriend" image, and to his supposed girlfriend, as she is, willingly or not, heavily scrutinized. Should it be like that? Of course not, but it is. So, this strategy seems counterproductive, ineffective, and poorly managed.

The contrast between their approaches raises further questions. Why would Luke suddenly shy away from acknowledging a relationship when he’s never had an issue doing so in the past? And why would Nicola, who has always remained quiet on such topics, choose this moment to break that pattern? These behaviors feel inconsistent and potentially performative.

The timeline of their supposed separations and Nicola newfound love also doesn’t add up. For two people who seemed to share a deep and genuine connection, it’s highly improbable that she could fall in love with another man just two months after the world tour. Yes, I believe the look in her eyes since Brazil was deep down bad love Yes, I believe the look in her June 15 Tatcha video was sad love eyes. Real emotions don’t dissipate that quickly, especially when they were as visible and vibrant as theirs. The way they looked at each other, the way they supported one another, and the energy they exuded when together painted the picture of a bond that doesn’t vanish overnight. It strains credulity to believe that both could have moved on so effortlessly in such a short span of time.

And then there’s the matter of trust. As fans, we trust Luke and Nicola. They’ve never given us a reason to believe they’re dishonest or manipulative. Their authenticity is what made their connection so compelling. Please stop with the "it's just PR" narrative. Yes, we know they are paid to lie while acting, but those two are not known liars. I believe they’ve been telling the truth all along, which is why their connection felt so natural and authentic. No amount of PR training could have produced those results, it was rooted in truth, as Golda Rosheuvel would say. PR campaigns don’t start years in advance, don’t include personal time, aren’t micromanaged behind the scenes, and certainly don’t appear in all cast and crew contracts. And I know that they are good actors but some reactions are too visceral to be fake.

This love is not a lie. That’s what makes this current situation so confounding. If they are truly in love with other people, why does so much about their behavior and timeline feel unnatural and inconsistent? There’s too much smoke here to believe there isn’t a fire. Their mutual elusiveness, the unexplained shift in their interactions, and the deliberate way chaos week unfolded all points to something more profound at play.

Ultimately, we know one thing for sure: Luke and Nicola share a unique love for each other. Their bond, whether romantic or not, is rare and undeniable. It is precisely because we trust them that we can’t reconcile the current narrative with what we know to be true. Their story, full of laughter, connection, and now mystery, deserves clarity. Until then, the dissonance remains, leaving us to wonder what lies beneath the surface of the chaos.

BEFORE THE CHAOS

Before June 12, they both seemed a little sad in Galway and London, which I initially attributed to exhaustion and the bittersweet emotions of the tour's end, closing that chapter. However, in retrospect, it might have been more than that. They may have already known they wouldn’t be able to stay as close as they were for some time.

Nicola sharing the song "Frames Your Face" before the end of the world tour

The song’s lyrics express themes of love, emotional vulnerability, and longing.

The lyrics of "Frames Your Face" speak to a longing to connect, to be seen clearly, and to have one's feelings acknowledged. Nicola might have been signaling that despite external noise, her emotions and connection to Luke remain strong. It could represent a desire to focus on what truly matters: the connection she shares with Luke.

“Give me that look again Give me that look 'Cause I'm gonna wait for you”

Luke sharing the clip with the line "Don't let her ruin our night" from the Bridgerton, where Luke’s character speaks to Nicola’s character about Cressida, can be interpreted in the context of the events following the "papgate", the line could metaphorically reflect Luke's desire to protect the bond between him and Nicola from external forces. The "ruin our night" aspect may symbolize a desire to maintain peace and happiness amid a chaotic situation Just as Cressida is a disruptive force in Bridgerton, there may be individuals or circumstances that Luke and Nicola are trying to resist. The line could signal their determination not to let external factors affect the genuine connection they share.

Overall, both the quote and the song suggest a desire for clarity, protection, and the maintenance of a strong bond despite external pressures. These elements in context further reinforce the notion that there may be much more going on beneath the surface, with both Nicola and Luke attempting to navigate their feelings amid the scrutiny they face.

Chaos Week recap

1-The French Toast

It was just a French toast but it could be more than that.

2-The Wordle Post: A Puzzle of Emotions (future reference the post Emmys post)

One of the first breadcrumbs in the intricate web of Nicola and Luke’s story might be Nicola’s Wordle post. At first glance, it seemed like an innocent nod to a daily word game, but upon closer examination, it unraveled layers of emotional symbolism.

"Aloud": The puzzle’s first word, "aloud," hinted at the unspoken truths in their connection. It suggested that certain feelings or realizations, perhaps Luke's internal struggles or his evolving feelings for Nicola, had yet to be fully articulated. Nicola’s intuitive grasp of the situation implied she was aware of his emotional turmoil long before it became apparent.

"Anvil": Symbolizing the emotional weight and something still being forged, this word represented Luke’s state of emotional limbo. It reflected his process of disentangling from his relationship with A while grappling with his bond with Nicola. The green and yellow letters subtly symbolized dynamics at play: Luke (yellow "L") being present but not yet in the right emotional place, and the public perception of his relationship with A (green A and L) still intact despite the reality of his growing distance.

Solving the puzzle in two guesses: Nicola’s ability to "solve" in two tries metaphorically illustrated her sharp understanding of their emotional dynamics. She saw through the layers quickly acknowledging the tension, unresolved feelings, and shifting allegiances beneath the surface.

3-A Subtle Declaration

Amid Luke’s public challenges, Nicola showcased her unwavering support through a heartfelt Instagram post. Sharing a behind-the-scenes moment from Bridgerton Season 3, she captioned it:

"I thought I’d already shared this, but I hadn’t, so here you go, now it’s all yours!"

Timing and Intent: The timing of this post coincided with negativity surrounding Luke, which made Nicola’s gesture seem purposeful. It wasn’t just about sharing a photo; it felt like a deliberate act of solidarity, subtly reminding everyone of the joy and warmth in their bond.

"Now it’s all yours": This phrase carried layered implications. On one level, it seemed directed at fans, a casual offering of content. On another, it could have been a message for Luke, a way of reaffirming her affection and loyalty amidst the turbulence. The deliberate ambiguity left room for interpretation, as if she was signaling something deeper while maintaining plausible deniability.

"The loveliest pal a gal could have": Her use of "pal" was affectionate yet strategic, downplaying romantic overtones while emphasizing the unique closeness of their bond. The phrasing, playful yet tender, left space for speculation, especially when paired with the subtle intimacy of a purple heart emoji.

4-Scrabble and Subtext: A Coded Message (A Layered Callout)

Nicola’s apparent love for word games resurfaced with a Scrabble board that seemed ordinary at first but, upon analysis, revealed a complex message seemingly directed at A.

Words like “DAD,” “LIED,” “DEAD,” “FATE,” and “FLED” hinted at themes of betrayal, endings, and inevitability. Together, they painted a picture of unresolved tensions and shifting dynamics.

The inclusion of “HEY A” and “WATCH” suggested a warning, perhaps to A, while words like “Hey A watch we chill”

“HUG” and “JET” hinted at comfort for Luke and the possibility of departure or change.

The board reflected Nicola’s nuanced way of addressing the situation, subtle, clever, and full of layers that only attentive followers might decode.

5-Birthday Tribute: A Masterclass in Friendship and a jab at Luke’s entourage (now deleted iyyk)

For her best friend Camilla’s birthday, Nicola posted a heartfelt message with a subtle yet pointed undertone:

"Happy Birthday @Camilla, I love you so much that I could never imagine my life without you!!! Remember the time paparazzi took a picture of us and to protect me you grabbed my face?"

A Subtle Contrast: This post seemed to highlight the true essence of friendship, protectiveness and loyalty in contrast to the betrayal Luke supposedly faced from some of his friends. It was a gentle reminder of what genuine support looks like, directed not just at Camilla but perhaps at those who had failed Luke.

6-You speak to me through Music

Nicola’s references to songs like Bless the Telephone and Juna seemed to reveal her inner emotional landscape:

Bless the Telephone: A soulful ode to connection, the lyrics about how a simple call can brighten one’s day mirrored the emotional highs and lows of their relationship. Nicola’s choice to highlight this song suggested a yearning for closeness, even amid challenges. The call of someone you are missing and haven’t seen or heard in a while, not someone you were just hanging with, or you’ll spend the next day with.

Juna: With its themes of vulnerability and gradual intimacy, Juna Nicola’s cautious yet hopeful approach to deepening her connection with someone points to Luke as the most likely candidate. Lines like "With you, there's no pretending" underscored the authenticity of their bond, while "Come to me ready" hinted at her desire for emotional readiness and mutual growth.

Nicola is chronically online, and she undoubtedly knew who they’d be associated with. If it wasn’t about Luke, why post them publicly? And why double down, knowing it would be misconstrued? Let’s not forget the triple down with “the very demure, very mindful.” Of course, the fandom would overanalyze, so why play the double entendre game? Please don’t argue that she isn’t, don’t underestimate her social media literacy!

her social media literacy!

While the exact nature of their relationship remains ambiguous, their mutual affection and understanding shine through. The chaos week suggests a steady ship navigating turbulent waters, one that holds the promise of a deeper connection as it moves toward the horizon. Yet, these days, the waters are murkier but calmer, making it difficult to discern what’s truly happening. For me, nothing feels definitive. I trust their love more than I trust what I can see. I choose to believe that whatever is unfolding, they will find their way back to each other. It may take time, but I’m here for it.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

I'm aroace, and at most I like to consider Bill and Ford's relationship to be a little bit more complicated than what would be considered romantic. I feel like a lot of allos forget that there's more than just friendship, romance, and family dynamics, and not all of them have exact words to explain them! While it's undeniable that the book of Bill was implying a romantic undertone, it can just as easily be interpreted into something that's far more interesting!

It's hard to put into words how I'm currently viewing their relationship but it's mostly a mutual obsession, that loneliness and longing for connection Ford has with Bill despite the fact he's literally IN HIS MIND. It isn't romance, it's a man who feels impossibly alone and is trying to connect with something he thinks is similar in intelligence to him.

Bill's side is an obsession that Bill refuses to unpack in favor of taking over the world, because to be clear, Bill cares about Ford but he doesn't understand that Ford isn't "just like me fr." He's also just generally insane and thinks that Ford would genuinely side with him, eventually or otherwise. Unfortunately, he thought wrong.

I also liked that idea that he's obsessed with Ford in the little blorbo way, it's the closest way to describe it. It's so distinctly not romantic and I can't place it in anything else. He turns him to gold and uses him as a fidget toy- that's not screaming "omg old man yaoi" it's "chat should I turn Sixer into a paperweight"

Speaking of him being an unredeemable abuser..I mean it's not wrong and I can't say I can't see it but I also like reading stories where he gets redeemed anyway (dragged kicking and screaming) because it's far worse for a person to do horrible things, than a "monster" to do it. Like from what I've gathered bill accepts the fact that he's horrible and unredeemable, but imagine him having to confront that he's NOT that?

Imagine him having to accept the fact that he isn't this concept of an evil and unforgivable monster but a person who has done horrible and unforgivable things, and now he just has to accept that and become better. He's a person, and that's far worse. (Based on the fact he tried saying everyone loved him on Euclydia and he liberated them all when the decoded messages displayed a very different story, and then him being devastatingly honest with Ford. I think he wanted to be a monster- it's easier to swallow that a monster did those things than the idea that he made a mistake. Lie until you're not lying anymore.)

Oops a bit long but I don't find much others who takes their relationship as anything other than romantic. Aro curse 💔

Anon, I think you perfectly summed up my own personal feelings about their dynamic. There's nothing more I could add myself, well done. 🧡🧡🧡

(Also lmao, aro curse 💔💔💔)

[magnificentwolfface]

omg i thought a lot about kpxb99 too?? altho i always thought of kinn as amy bc amy is a huge dork and so is kinn. sure kinn has never been a syncopath like early amy is, but still. chan as holt maybe? maybe kinn's dad was a retired captain and chan worked under him then he became captain at kinn's precinct

and kinn wants to prove himself to be as good as his dad except my boy is a bit too soft for that and also chan knows what a dick korn was before retirement and he really doesn't want kinn to be like him so he subtly pushes kinn away from that route

plus kinn and porsche as amy and jake would be so cute. supportive horny dork4dorks. per s1, porsche took kinn out on the worst possible date possible as a result of their bet (kinn was gonna get porsche's bike if he won) and it took a shot-in-the-ass and high af pete's brutal honesty to realize his feelings

omg make tawan as teddy, amy's annoying boring obsessed ex???

also can i say? pete as boyle and vegas as gina? immaculate. vegas' velvet and animal prints would clash so much with pete's cheap boy vibes. and remember how boyle was filming himself working out when gina came into the room in a robe and they were talking about their relationship? that's just pete and vegas in a nutshell. like, make pete ass naked and that's it

i can't really see chay as terry but i understand and respect the angle and thought process behind?? i would have put pol as terry tbh but he doesn't have the same type of snark terry and chay sometimes display, so i'm actually fine with that

i also like gina and terry's antics when gina isn't being a perv to him, so translating that into my ghost friendship of chay and vegas is also fun. that one time when gina and terry tried to make rosa rest bc she was cold? gold material for chay, vegas and kim. kim mumbling about ripping his grandpa's head off in his sleep. absolutely blitzed on cold medicine. kinn and tankhun SHOULD step in but only after they are done filming all this

namphueng as karen, jake's hippie out of sorts art teacher mom? clashing with korn, maybe? omg. i cannot see pat being deadbeat like roger tho, so he dead again? lmao

Hi, anon! 💌

First off, I’m so sorry if it took me a while to respond—life sometimes gets in the way, and I never want to make anyone feel ignored. Thank you for sending this incredible brain dump because WOW, you’ve put so much thought into this, and I am LIVING for it! 🧠✨

I love the idea of Kinn being the dorky Amy of the precinct—he really is such a nerd behind all the suave exterior, isn’t he? 😍 And the bit about Chan subtly steering him away from becoming like Korn? Genius. 🤯 That whole dynamic adds so much depth, and honestly, the parallels between Amy's perfectionist tendencies and Kinn's struggle to prove himself are so spot on.

I also feel like, in this AU, Chan would favor Kinn a little bit and take on a father-figure role—a better one, at least. 💛 Kinn did say he was more like his mother, which I imagine means he’s kind, gentle but firm, and a bit of a perfectionist. Chan would probably recognize those traits and want to nurture them, helping Kinn be his best self without falling into Korn’s shadow or toxicity. The dynamic between them would be so compelling! 🌟

And speaking of Korn—imagine how Kinn’s relationship with him plays out in this AU. Korn would still carry the heavy presence of an overbearing, impossible-to-please father figure, always reminding Kinn of the legacy he’s expected to uphold. That pressure would push Kinn to seek validation, not just from Korn but from himself, as he tries to balance his father’s expectations with his own identity. It adds so much complexity to Kinn’s journey of self-discovery and growth. 🌟

The supportive horny dork4dorks combo of Kinn and Porsche as Amy and Jake? 💕 PERFECT. And the shot-in-the-ass realization with Pete spilling the tea? ICONIC. 🫣 Pete as Boyle and Vegas as Gina made me laugh so much because, yes, Vegas’s animal prints clashing with Pete’s boy-next-door energy is chef’s kiss. 🍷✨

Tawan as Teddy? Oh my god, OBSESSED. 🫠 The “annoying, boring, obsessed ex” trope fits so well, and the potential chaos of it is limitless. Also, naked Boyle/Pete workout scenes while Vegas just judges in his robe? Comedy gold. 💀

I totally see your point about Pol not having the right level of snark to be Terry, but now that you’ve explained the ghost friendship of Chay and Vegas, I GET IT. 👻 Them teaming up to force Kim to rest while he’s mumbling about ripping off Korn’s head? Hilarious and wholesome at the same time. And Kim on cold meds being unintentionally funny is such a mood. 😂

Namphueng as Karen clashing with Korn? YES, PLEASE. 🌿🖤 That dynamic would be such a fun contrast, though I can’t imagine Pat being a deadbeat either. But a dead-again Pat? LOL, I’m howling. 🤣

Also, just to clarify because I know some of y’all are curious: bottom Kinn, top Porsche, top Porchay, and bottom Kim. You’re welcome. 😉

This entire idea is so chaotic, heartfelt, and clever—it’s everything a crossover like this should be. Thank you for sharing your thoughts; you’ve inspired me so much! 🥹💖 Feel free to drop by anytime, anon—I love hearing your takes!

[becauseimanicequeen]

My Two Cents on White Being Non Pt. 2

I’ve previously written a post about my thoughts on White being Non and I have some additional thoughts to add to that (mainly because I’ve been thinking about Tee’s interaction with Non and White respectively throughout my day and I can’t seem to stop…).

In that post, I wrote that White’s hallucination of the boils/rash on his skin could indicate his fear of something being off-putting about his appearance and how that could be linked back to Non being called “greasy”.

The first time we see Non, walking into a classroom three years earlier, Top (being his usually charming assholish self…) exclaims that there’s no shampoo there and that Non should go home and shower instead (or something like that).

While I was thinking about this earlier today (as I was creating drips on a current abstract wip of mine), Tee and White’s shower scene in the first episode just popped into my head.

(Yes, this is how my mind works when I’m in right-brain-land.)

I feel like there’s something more to their shower scene than just a sensual rendezvous in the steam (yes, their dynamic is definitely more sensual than, for example, Phee and Jin’s, but I’ll get back to this in a sec). And I believe it has something to do with White and his insecurities.

(Btw, considering Tee’s reaction to protect White when they all watch the footage from the security camera is another indication that White is feeling vulnerable in a situation like that, and Tee knows it.)

Considering that Por suggests that Non should take a shower because he’s “greasy”, and the fact that Non’s been called “greasy” by almost everyone in that group (including Tee), I don’t think it’s very far-fetched that White (Non) don’t want to have sex with Tee with the risk of being dirty (greasy) or off-putting hanging over him. And so, they have their rendezvous in a shower.

But I also feel like there’s another aspect of this since (as I’ve read many point out) the boils/rash White sees in his hallucination show up on the area of his neck and shoulder that Tee kisses in that scene in the 1st episode. This could indicate that sex, or even touching and kissing, makes him feel dirty.

And, since I’m writing this from the perspective that White is Non, there’s a perfect explanation for this…

The video of him and Keng.

That video being filmed and uploaded onto the internet was the thing that destroyed everything for Non. It was a public humiliation. He was in a compromising and vulnerable position for the world to see and criticize. Anyone could’ve started associating sex with being dirty in a situation like that (especially after reading people’s comments on the video).

There’s also the fact that he was groomed and coerced into having sex with Keng, which could’ve also made Non feel dirty. But having it on display for the world to see, that’s on a whole other level.

In other words, White’s (Non’s) hallucination of the boils/rash makes sense based on this.

But, let’s get to another point by going back to Tee and White's shower scene.

This scene is really beautiful and you can sense the vulnerability (especially since White is often shown having his arms and hands close to his own chest, which can be an indication of wanting to protect oneself). This scene is also very much in contrast to Phee and Jin’s scene in the same episode. Phee and Jin’s dynamic is more sexual while Tee and White’s dynamic is more sensual.

What’s interesting about the topic of sensuality, though, is that there’s another relationship that has a sensual dynamic. The relationship between Phee and Non. The short montage (in episode 7) showing the start of their relationship and their interactions throughout that episode definitely show a sensual dynamic between the two.

(Sure, Non doesn’t show any sign of feeling insecure or vulnerable in Phee’s company, but Phee doesn’t know Non as “greasy” like Tee does, so this could explain that difference. But if we’re just looking at the sensual vibe, it’s definitely there in both relationships.)

And what’s the common denominator: Non.

(Also, let’s not forget that little moment of Jin being absolutely captivated by Non when they’re editing the movie. There’s definitely something about Non that’s very captivating to all these bitches, which I’m planning on further developing in another post. But, I digress…)

If what I’ve already written isn’t enough, there’s also the fact that both are intelligent.

Non was the one who answered Keng (with a correct answer) when Keng asked them to solve the equation he’d written on the board. Non also had all the correct answers on the test he got back from Keng.

And what does White offer Tee in the backstory they showed us in the 11th episode? He offers to tutor Tee because White’s a smart little bee. He might play two years younger, but his intellect is not (not that it’s a feat being smarter than Tee, but I digress…).

Not to forget that we have, time and time again, seen White find the clues and information at the house. He’s, at the very least, as smart as Non. And, no wonder (since he is Non).

Are all these similarities between Non and White a mere coincidence? It’s possible.

Am I reading too much into this? Most likely.

Am I delulu? Yes. But I choose to be. At least when it comes to certain things (like DFF theories).

[dearweirdme]

Hi Rain!!

I would like to add my two cents in the ongoing discussion.

Fans often miss the mark by viewing Taekook through a conventional dating lens. Societal norms cloud our judgment, leading to misinterpretations.

In my opinion, the Dream premiere's purpose was to portray them as extremely close, not romantically involved. Their separation afterwards might be a strategic move by the company, possibly orchestrated by Taekook themselves, to display their strong bond as a duo outside the group dynamic. This approach allows them to be close in the present and future without fueling romantic speculations.

There's a contradiction: fans simultaneously believe they're not ready to publicly disclose their relationship yet, while also expecting them to act like couples in public. This is simply unrealistic.

I genuinely believe Big Hit anticipated this. Artist contracts often address such situations, especially for popular groups like theirs. While I can't confirm details about permission or veto power, it's likely stipulated that Taekook should at least inform the company before appearing together publicly in a way that could be misconstrued as romantic.

It's understandable why people might speculate about Jungkook's emotional state on the live stream after the Dream premiere. This situation is unprecedented for them. Previously, their outings were only known through personal stories or leaks from a few people. This was the first highly public event where they appeared together in a decade. Knowing their every micro-expression would be dissected, it's natural for him to feel nervous about the public's reaction. The public's perception of Taekook's relationship is often skewed towards a romantic interpretation, regardless of their actual intentions. Their appearances, interactions, and even expressions can fuel these speculations, as evidenced by the recent fan and media reactions to their Dream premiere appearance.

The decision to sleep separately and appear on separate live streams could be a strategic move by the company or taekook themselves. This might serve several purposes gauging public reaction, managing fan expectations. It's important to consider that excessive speculation, even from well-meaning fans (*cough* us *cough*), can have negative consequences. While other fan groups might engage in similar behavior, with same popular pairings, the potential for harm is likely less severe for them. However, for Taekook, managing fan expectations is crucial to avoid negativity and potential "outing" before they're ready. Ultimately, these strategic moves could benefit everyone involved – the artists, the fans, and the general public.

The speculation about loneliness also stems from a single viewpoint – that they maybe casually dating. However, what if they're simply cautious? Imagine having a fantastic night, but instead of enjoying it freely, you have to wait and see the public's reaction for fear of questioning their relationship or to create the perception you are not dating while you may very well be. This could be quite heartbreaking.

While Jungkook might not be overly sharing, as Rain pointed out many times, he also finds it difficult to completely mask his emotions.

Forgive the text wall! Just wanted to share my thoughts. 🫣

Hi @purplemoonlibra !

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I very much agree with not looking at Tae and Jk as a conventional couple. They are not. They’re famous and they’re a secret. Both of those alone would mean there’s planning involved when it comes to a relationship, the two combined only makes it more necessary.

The though of them doing certain things to normalize seeing them together has come across my mind at some point, I’m just not really sure if that’s deemed necessary at this point. I haven’t got a great grasp at what the opinion of SK’s in general is about them. Do they already see them as friends? Do they suspect something? Would they be surprised to see Tae and Jk spend this much time together? So, is there a need?

I do think it’s something they have done before. To me the way they were shown in ITS was very much about this. Establishing closeness with strict boundaries. I do think at that time there was a need to do it.

If Tae and Jk would have a plan to be more open after enlistment, then maybe you are right and this was already a start into that. I absolutely think their aim these days is to show that they’re super close. I don’t know if they actually plan stuff to make that come across though.

To me it does look as though at least Tae’s live had a purpose other than him actually telling us he heard Jk did a live and that he himself was drunk and passed out 😂.

The last part of your ask I definitely agree with. I do think they are cautious and I do think it’s probably very heartbreaking at times.

[alphabetboyluvr]

hi Holly. I just want to appreciate u. u don’t have to reply but this is more just a message to you.

I think ur the best person I have a parasocial platonic relationship with. Not only do you write the best stories (my heart beats for BD) but you also are the best most good intentions, good morals, person.

I like that you constantly update us on your work, your thoughts, and other stuff. It’s like you’re the teacher who engages with her students and tells her kids “guys the marks will be released Friday”, doesn’t take a long time to mark, doesn’t bat around the bush, etc. You never alienate your readers which I feel like a lot of other authors do. I love how appreciative you are of ur readers and friends

Also thank you for posting about Palestine. This is what made me wanna write the message. Im currently typing through tears as I just watched a kid cry because he saw the bombing in Gaza. His trauma is already started and he’s just 3. Thank you thank you for being a good soul. A true girls girl. A true citizen who wants the best for her world. I value you a lot. I love that you’re another girl who has big boobs ( I have a H cup girl it’s fucking horrible but I love that I get to be appreciated through ur stories) , thank you for being so creative, thank you for just knocking it out of the park.

U deserve nothing but the best. Please keep your standards high because you are of the highest standard. I love u girl

<3

honestly i could have cried reading this, what a gorgeous display of kindness 😭 thank you so much.

this is a long answer so I'll add a read more haha

I think (in a way) I also have sort of a parasocial relationship with you guys - I'm often shown such generous amounts of love and support and it's a dynamic that I don't really know how to describe. we might not know each other and yet you all see such a huge part of my personality that a lot of people don't. you hear of virgo boy and of the little trips I'm going on and all sorts of intricate details and yet if you were to see me in the street, you'd probably have no clue of who I am 🥲 sometimes I wonder (when I go to army events / bts places) if I'm talking with people who have read my fics but we collectively have no idea. its a strange little life to live, but one that I enjoy.

in regards to Palestine, and the humanitarian crisis in Gaza, I'm deeply horrified by what we're witnessing and am devastated at my government (alongside other western nations) facilitating what's happening. if all I can do is spread awareness or write letter, then you best believe that is what I'll do.

I'm afforded with such kindness that it only feels right I should reciprocate that - I keep you guys updated because it keeps us all happy haha. I love doing teasers and getting that initial reaction from you guys, it's so much fun, honestly. while I write for myself, I'd be a total liar if I said I didn't care for other people's opinions. your input is important to me!!

I've friends in all corners of the world, of all faiths and diverse backgrounds, and the idea of any of them experiencing such horror for the simple fact of where they were born is unthinkable. the people suffering are daughters, sons, husbands, wives, siblings - they are people and they are loved and it is barbaric to see what is happening and not feel strongly about it, in my opinion.

we all deserve the right to safety, freedom and a comfortable living environment. i don't really think my views are that groundbreaking, but I'm glad to know many of you feel the same ♡♡

honestly the big titty agenda part made me laugh so much!! I've been wearing a posture corrector lately cause the girlies have just been a nightmare 🥲 and the titty worship in my stories??? comes from experience!!! you'll find someone who appreciates them, as well as appreciates you, I promise 😭

thank you so much for your message - honestly you've no idea how much it means. have the loveliest day!!!

mwah x

[devotionalsex]

Devotional Friends is very different from Dev. Dating

Devotional Dating is when both are open to exploring this becoming a romantic relationship. Even on a first date and with using DevS the feel and what is done will be different from Devotional Friends. As they date more then more sexual activities are added. If things keep going well the couple add Joy to their possible activities. And the next big step for the couple is for their Devotional Dating (he never ejaculates when with her) moves into a Devotional Relationship (he now only ever ejaculates when with her and when she decides).

With Devotional Dating the couple engage in the full range of activities (sexual pleasures, intimacy, sensual, and erotic fun). What happens is a full package aimed at meeting the needs of both as much as possible.

Devotional Friends is when both have agreed that they won't form a relationship, that both can see other people if they wish, and either can end the Devotional Friendship whenever they wish and this won't be an emotional burden to the other.

With Devotional Friends she chooses what activities will happen. As there is no expectation that this dynamic will be a full package, she may keep things limited to the few she initially chose to enjoy.

The dynamic with Devotional Friends is different from dating as there is no romantic relationship. So she can use her control in a way which might not feel right if done with a romantic partner. She can treat her Knight as someone there to please her as he isn't her romantic partner.

A Devotional Friendship can be practiced with a real friend, but if you are seeing someone mainly for the Devotional activities, then 'friend' means mutual respect and not only wanting to enjoy this for yourself but wanting your friend to enjoy the experience.

If he doesn't find the limited activities she has happen enough to want to continue, then he ends the friendship. For example if he is mainly wanting sexual activity but she concentrates on sensual and intimate activities, they won't be a good match.

It's possible that two Devotional Friends will start to have feeling for each other, and thus decide to move to Devotional Dating.

When meeting someone for a date and hoping to find a partner you may instantly know that a relationship won't happen. But you may both be interested in exploring a Devotional Friendship. Also it may only become clear that a relationship won't happen after a few dates with Devotional Dating, and if you could move to a Devotional Friendship.

Real life is more complex than this. But one benefit of thinking it should be one or the other is that this makes clear relationship status and so isn't one person leading on the other.

When Devotional Dating I've had a few times where I've taken my date through foot massage, Affirmation (me naked), Display, more foot massage, then to bed (with her having me put my underpants back on), and in bed cuddles, Pleasure Kisses (giving her oral), orgasms for her, and ending without her ever touching my underpants.

With Dating I expect things to progress, so next time she touches me. But if we went on as Friends then she could keep things as they were the first time if that is what she prefered.

A woman can have a Devotional Friend who never sees her naked, yet she has him Affirmed all the time they are together. Another might often take her Knight to bed but this is only to enjoy a cuddle, and no sexual activity ever happens. None of these would be enjoyed by a Knight if that was all that happened each time during Devotional Dating, but he may be very happy to enjoy these activities with a Devotional Friends as it's far better than nothing.

This is a quick first draft. I welcome any questions, comments, or suggested improvements.

[quidam-sirenae]

HI OP IVE FORGOTTEN WHY I FOLLOW YOU BUT. GREEK AND ROMAN SEX DYNAMICS HI

HI OK(you probably follow me because my interests have been swinging wildly between Classics and mcyt djdhdhdv)

so what’s really interesting to me is that to quote Oscar Wilde: “sex is about power.” And that’s exactly it! Power is determined by who is the dominating party in sex. Now this yields a couple results: the “genders” in sex are penetrating and penetrated.

1. Man penetrating/woman penetrated: the natural married relationship. This is what we’re talking about when we talk about the family dynamic.

2. Man penetrating/man penetrated: this is pederasty, essentially. Nothing wrong with it by the Greek standards, so long as the “right” person is taking each role. A young man should not take the penetrating role- you can read Plato’s symposium about this, it’s a good display of that argument in relation to the Iliad (I think it’s funny). Theres a lot more that goes into this that you can write about but tbh my favorites are the next two.

Woman penetrating/man penetrated: while women “can’t” technically penetrate, the idea of a woman taking the leading role in sex was an extremely frightening idea for a man in Greece. In the odyssey, Odysseus tells Circe they can’t sleep together because she’ll “unman” him. It was a super scary thing for men cause it really was when your power was taken away.

Woman penetrating/woman penetrated: lesbians don’t exist. Actually, a term referring to lesbian sex in the Middle Ages was “shield banging” because they had no “swords” to use. I got confused in sword fighting club because of this, and said very loudly after the announcement of “no shield banging allowed” the words “wait why can’t we have gay sex?” Then I remembered we were using literal shields.

This is not like… everything about Greek sex dynamics (I went mostly with Greek) and it also may use incorrect language so feel free to correct me or add more examples, but yeah! I actually more specialize in the feminization of achilles and Odysseus in their respective epics, I’m about to write a paper on how that Greek feminization might have influenced the aeniad. I can’t talk about that yet because I have like.., 2% info about it and I’m still researching to see if it’s even a viable topic for a research paper, but yes! Always hmu to talk about this stuff my only irl person I talk to about this is my professor

[oxytoxic-skeletonin]

HI, I have a need to ramble.

So, lately, I've been working on a bunch of ideas for a Megaman Battle Network AU that I've had, kinda brushing dust off an old hyperfixation and giving it some new ideas and sometimes bitching about smol me's ideas like "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING". So without further ado, I'm gonna post this shit under a Read More.

Completely bonkers sleep deprived maybe high thought; I honestly love how starkly different I made Kittara's relationship with the World Three members compared to how 14 year old me did it? Like I did keep some things in tact, but there's more a solid grounding for those relationships. And keeping in tune with the 'otherworldly' feel for Kittara without making her LITERALLY from another world just adds to it?

She's not familiar with things not because she's not been around them all her life, but because it wasn't deemed necessary to know those things, as Evi purely made her as a part of his vengeance project.

He didn't make her to be an AI assistant, he made her to be a weapon. And I'm actually excited to work on planning how to write the growth of the both of them; Evi coming to terms with the fact that other people aren't friends with him to use him, but actually genuinely care about him. And Kittara learning that she can be more than the weapon she wields, she's allowed to be a person, and discover that throughout the course of it.

…. Also I love the dynamic between Colorman and Kittara way more now. Like… Kittara as an angsty tsundere who treats him like an idiot is… Terrible, and comes off as being pretty cruel. Though I can understand that her characterization was the product in the time I grew up in, and the environment in which I was presently living in.

Now, breathing a bit of fresh air into an old concept, keeping the old framework there, I can get a better idea of how they'd click, and I like this better? Flipping the old dynamic entirely, with the both of them just having more of an appreciation of what the other is capable of and engages in.

Colorman likes Kittara, there is still the attraction to her appearance there… He likes more of her qualities, appreciating how curious and inquisitive, and more than happy to listen to him ramble, joke, and generally be a goofball and not think he's annoying over it.

The way she puts classic theming of what people think of female navis (and later on, what people think of Recodes) and flips it on it's head. Being a perfectly capable and frankly terrifying fighter, while also having a very different take on how to act and behave that's just a complete breath of fresh air from most of the navis he knows.

He finds her cute, endearing, and enjoys that she's a person who he can tell actually values him and enjoys his company. Doesn't mean he doesn't find her unnerving or sometimes scary at times.

Kittara likes Colorman because he talks to her. He talks to her like she's a person and not a tool to obey orders, he talks to her about things she doesn't know, and doesn't judge her for not knowing these things. In fact, he's usually even eager to explain these things to her.

She finds him funny, and enjoys his sense of humor. Even surprising him when she displays she in fact has one by making playful jokes and jabs here and there. She's also well aware of the fact that he has a tendency to get in trouble. While most would be annoyed by this, Kittara finds excitement in this. Kittara is a woman who lives for combat, and finds no better enjoyment suits her than battle. So she enjoys the fact that by being around him, they're both more likely to bump into someone who doesn't like him. And should they not like him in a handsy way, that is more than enough of an invitation for her next battle. She teases him about it, ("Mayhaps I am a black cat. But 'tis thou that misfortune doth follow~.") but usually in a lighthearted way to give him peace of mind that this is something she likes.

And she is completely tonedeaf to appearances having any meaning. Regularly confused why people think it's odd for her to be around him. Either on account of her being a visibly attractive female navi, and he's a goofy looking, sometimes considered unsightly male navi. Or on account of him being a BTM (Body-type Model) v1 navi. v1 is considered basic model, like any game (especially older ones) with no customization. With no differentiation mesh-wise from skin to clothing.) And her being a BTM v4 navi. v4 is essentially the sort of models that have the most 'physical' features. With better hair physics and differentiation between what is armor and what is skin in the mesh and layering. As well as many other manner of physics, including jiggle, contact, and insertion physics. Which basically is around your average porn game model.

There's a looooot of judgement on this case, with a lot of v3-v4 Navis looking down on Kittara or even trying to pull her away because a v1 is 'incompatible'. Or v1-v2s wondering if Colorman is around her because of her being an attractive v4 navi.

And neither of them find their relationship weird. Because whether it's as friends or as anything further, they're just happy with the other's company.

What other people think doesn't really bother them as much, as Colorman's used to people thinking shitty things about him, and Kittara's just generally confused as to why someone would have judgements about it, and sees someone pressing issues as possible invitations for battle.

They're both fucking dorks, your honor.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 30/03/2024 (Future & Metro Boomin's WE DON'T TRUST YOU, Olivia Rodrigo's GUTS (spilled) and Hozier)

Benson Boone takes a hold of the top of the UK Singles Chart for the second week with “Beautiful Things” and it’s a big, messy week that I’m too tired to deal with so welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40 and given this week was somewhat of a busy one, we do have a fair few to bid adieu, namely: “Going Home” (Theme from Local Hero) by Mark Knopfler’s Guitar Heroes because the charity single never lasts long, “I Will” by Central Cee, “ONE CALL” by Rich Amiri, “Homesick” by Noah Kahan and Sam Fender on the duet version, “One of the Girls” from The Idol by The Weeknd, JENNIE and Lily-Rose Depp, “leavemealone” by Fred again.. and Baby Keem, “DNA (Loving You)” by Billy Gillies featuring Hannah Boleyn, “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and of course, “Someone You Love” by Lewis Capaldi. It’s a mixed bag, but I’m mostly glad to see new hits flushing in and taking care of some of these older, longer-running tracks.

Thanks to our 10 new songs landing mostly at the front of the chart, we don’t see any returns and not that many big gains either, but it is worth to comment on the boosts for “Been Like This” by Meghan Trainor and T-Pain at #50, “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna and Clementine Douglas at #40, “Back on 74” by Jungle landing yet another run at #32, “Green & Gold” by Rudimental and Skepsis featuring Charlotte Plank and Riko Dan at #30, “Von dutch” by Charli XCX at #27 thanks to a pretty great A.G. Cook remix and “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra at #23.

This week’s top five on the UK Singles Chart is largely not affected by everything below it, as we have “End of Beginning” by Djo at #5, “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande, “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” by Beyoncé, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #2 and of course, Booner Boy at the very top. Yet just at #6, we have a new arrival so that should better display how this week is going to go. Let’s just dive into it.

New Entries

#58 - “stranger” - Olivia Rodrigo

Produced by Dan Nigro

Now a major reason to why this week feels so exhausting is that over half of our new songs are from the same two albums, that are at #3 and #2 in the singles chart right now: Olivia Rodrigo’s deluxe release of GUTS with a few extra songs and the newest collaborative record by Future and Metro Boomin, WE DON’T TRUST YOU, which I actually cared to listen to. I decided it would even be a better idea to split up my writing time into the three categories instead of in chart position order: tackling the three songs from O-Rod, the trio from the duo and… the other four. It’s nearly even. These are also two not particularly interesting albums to have three songs to talk about. I’ll talk more about Future when the time comes, but these are just three bonus tracks from an album I didn’t even like so just imagine my excitement when I have to talk about them. This one’s about… moving on from a past relationship, of course, demonstrating said ex-partner as a complete stranger that she no longer has any real emotional investment towards. I like the writing here, it’s less wordy than usual and feels really natural over the airy acoustic guitar. Dare I say it’s got a bit of a wispy country twang to it that adds some edge. The organic instrumentation in the back of the second chorus onwards is sweet even if I’d prefer it was pushed further to the front of the mix, I love the dynamics of the bridge and ultimately, the mundane yet really powerful and heathily bitter angle O-Rod takes here is pretty resonant. I have no idea why this didn’t close the standard edition of the album, it’s pretty excellent actually.

#54 - “Belong Together” - Mark Ambor

Produced by Mark Ambor and Noel Zancanella

We actually continue with feathery teeny-bopper Americana as this is the breakout hit for singer-songwriter Mark Ambor, going for a folkish stomp-rock tune that is a pretty good Noah Kahan riff if not anything else. I’m not into the more jovial, head-empty frolick of the upbeat side of this genre, especially not when it’s sung by people who sound like Disney teen stars but hey, this has got a much stickier chorus than many of those Disney Channel original movies could ever dream of. His voice does reach some nice rasps amidst the crowd vocals and it really is just being carried by the admirable hook because other than that constant, this is barely a notable song, at less than two and a half minutes with non-descript lyrics and a professional but not grippingly detailed production. It really just is a bonfire sing-a-long and fits that function perfectly. I’ll be real: this was embarrassingly close to getting Best of the Week on that hook alone. It is undeniable.

#42 - “Slow it Down” - Benson Boone

Produced by Jason Evigan, Connor McDonough and Riley McDonough

There were two real possibilities with this one: I hate it and regret everything nice I said about “Beautiful Things”, or I like it and I just end up being a Benson Boone fan now. A Booner Boy. A Benson Booner. A Boonemobile. I didn’t really know which option was more embarrassing, but with the McDonough fellows on production, I really thought the first was more likely. When I heard the faster-paced pianos, the condescending tone of the lyrics, that really awkward Jesus line and some of the Lewis Capaldi-esque inflections, I was worried… but Goddamn it, he’s done it again. Sure, it’s not as wholesome as “Beautiful Things”, but the pairing of the lyrics wanting to slow everything down and take life at its own pace against his almost manic, shifting vocal delivery that gets really rough at times, and the incessant nature of much of the instrumentation, is all a pretty inspired songwriting choice, and it gets the uneven tone off really well. It sounds nothing like it but thematically, it reminds me of “Wait” by Maroon 5 in how its uncertainty can barely be contained the restraints of its format but they really are trying to keep it in the box, until that excellent, just pummelling final chorus that makes me really want to hear Boonetunes do some hard rock or glam metal one day. He’s got a voice for it. I’m embarrassed to say it, and it’s not as good as his current #1, but it’s a good song. I’m sorry.

#24 - “so american” - Olivia Rodrigo

Produced by Dan Nigro

That is not an exciting title and what do you know, this is more of the flowery pop rock that doesn’t seem to know where the line of its edge lands exactly, like I’d expected. This is a post-punk-esque track with a blank-feeling rhythm section and really flat bass that just runs through the motions until it reaches a chorus climax point that still just chugs along despite all the non-descript swell that’s behind it. It’s about a very specific celebrity crush that uses lovestruck nonsense-singing to finish off its refrain, and I’m just not in the market for this. I could not care less about this uber-specific compliment that she decides to make the conceit of the song… despite the fact that it barely shows up outside of the chorus. I love bubblegum pop rock sometimes, one of my favourite albums of all time is by Helen Love. This just doesn’t have the right guitar hook or lyrical detail - that isn’t odd and honestly somewhat off-putting - to keep me from really getting into this. It’s not bad and really, there could be a great song made out of some of these elements, they just might not have been in the right hands. Sorry.

#20 - “Cinderella” - Future and Metro Boomin featuring Travis Scott

Produced by Metro Boomin, Dre Moon and Allen Ritter

WE DON’T TRUST YOU is fine. In fact, it’s actually damn good at times and mostly a pretty serviceable, atmospheric trap record. The added cinematics from Metro dampen the bangers but largely add a twinkle to the gleaming pop songs found around the middle, that were actually mostly my favourites. Future is, to me at least, at his best being just impressively catchy. He has a singular voice  that sounds surprisingly rich reciting these cuter, cloud rap melodies and Metro’s pop sensibilities mean that he knows exactly when, how and what to switch up throughout. At its best, the album is careening and hypnotic, but there’s a lot of attempts at menace here, as is to be expected, and that blend of opulence and violence from Future has never hit that well for me without pop hooks behind it, especially given that it’s not just Future under-performing on these tracks, it’s Metro. I’ll discuss more of that in the next entry because it is incredibly obvious in that one, but the appeal of “Cinderella”, which lands pretty much smack-dab in the middle of the album and fully in that leaned-out pop section that I loved. I don’t think there’s a single quotable from either artist, and the beat is not even that interesting: its appeal is really simple. The melodic leads are cute, the trap beat is immense enough to absorb most of the energy but not act as an obstacle between Future and the melodies behind him, and his flow is possessive of the brain, I swear to God, it’s been in my head all week. Oh, yeah, and Travis Scott is here, I guess. I like his vocal layering on here, I suppose, and he really meshes with the closing, misty detail that the track ends with. It’s not my favourite - that would probably be a toss up between “Slimed In” and “Runnin’ Outta Time”, but it’s pretty great.

#18 - “Type Shit” - Future and Metro Boomin featuring Travis Scott and Playboi Carti

Produced by Metro Boomin, D. Rich and MIKE DEAN

In the context of the album, this song is dreadful. It’s not a momentum killer - rather, it’s a continuation of a long-dead momentum in the most excruciating way. It comes after “Ice Attack”, which starts with a droning beat even Future is already bored of, so bored in fact that he changes the beat to an even more rote and basic one that is a very similar tempo and groove as the track that it seamless transitions into, which is of course, “Type Shit”, where pretty much all of Future’s performance and most of Playboi Carti’s, in his hit-or-miss deep voice, is based on the same flow, cadence and lyric. It really had me worried for the rest of the album. Outside of the context, it’s still awful: here’s where Metro misunderstands how to make a beat interesting: adding loops onto other loops, all of which are incredibly one-note and cheap, just makes it sound like a lot of noise over muddily-mixed drums that sound genuinely awful. Whilst not applying greatly to this particular track, Metro tends to make some elements of these beats way busier than the others, leading to an ugly dissonance where it feels like he’s more pre-occupied with sound effects. Our only respite from this drone is Travis Scott delivering a reference vocal over MIKE DEAN synths and whilst I’ll take that over Carti most days, it’s not particularly attention-capturing or all that well implemented into the rest of the track, just an extended malformed interlude that has no business being here other than making sure the entire song isn’t insufferable. Also, “posted up with my dogs, Scooby-Doo type shit”? I appreciate that Carti is actually trying to form sentences now but his smug, deeper tone he prefers as of late just makes his failure at doing so even more embarrassing.

#13 - “i like the way you kiss me” - Artemas

Produced by Artemas, Kevin White and Daintree

I guess all Artemas really needed was that one small breakout single to really grow big with his next release, as this debuted way bigger than I expected. I thought “if u think i’m pretty” was at least okay, so I had some hopes for this and no, I don’t like this at all. I like darker synthpop bullet trains like this sometimes - Gesaffelstein released an album literally today that had some elements of this - but Artemas’ pained, pre-teen delivery cannot sell this if it had normal lyrics and more extensive, detailed production, let alone with muddy, cheap nothingness and a chorus that is about how Artemas “hits it from the back so you don’t get attached”. Ew. I get this is going for a toxic lover persona, but it is just embarrassing for him trying to go for it, especially when he attempts a malformed guitar solo later like God, actually stop trying for whatever this is. I don’t like saying a song is cringeworthy because other demographics will resonate with it but… come on. What is this? Who is this for?

#10 - “obsessed” - Olivia Rodrigo

Produced by Dan Nigro

Now this is the big attempt at a single from this deluxe release, enlisting St. Vincent on writing and going for a vibe similar to “bad idea, right?”, right down to the stop-start songwriting that made that one so frustrating. There’s a sicker guitar riff to this one at least, it feels a bit grimier and almost eerie with O-Rod’s obsessive lyrics surrounding how jealous she is of her partner’s ex-boyfriend… yet it never feels like it goes anywhere meaningful. It has the additional edge of sounding slightly mentally ill and sapphic simultaneously - I can relate to that - but the chorus just isn’t there - or more accurately, there’s not an attempt to make a coherent one. The entire track very much builds up to that chorus as a focal point but it blows out too much to resonate and loses some of the impact of its implosion. It’s much better than “bad idea, right?” because it’s not as incessant and is less tasteful in its subject matter, but it suffers from the same struggle of calculating how much to restrain in what should be an anthem for self-destruction. It’s decent, but I really wish I liked it more.

#8 - “Too Sweet” - Hozier

Produced by Bēkon, Hozier, Chakra, Sergiu Gherman and Peter Gonzales

Hozier, similarly to O-Rod, dropped some outtakes and bonus tracks from last year’s album - the difference here is that the songs smashed out of nowhere and this single in particular is looking to be his biggest hit since “Take Me to Church”, which is now a decade old. That’s scary. It may benefit from its conceptual similarities to “Eat Your Young”, which was a minor hit, as they both examine excessive greed, however in this song, the space is shared between two clashing perspectives, one of which is focused on discipline and the other on simple pleasures, with the two perspectives seemingly in a metaphorical relationship. I do think we see more of the unhealthy side of the narrative, particularly because of how those two perspectives influence the narrator, potentially Hozier, to take his life more seriously. Musically, this has a brilliant, infectious organic bass guitar over a fleeting almost trip hop funk. Hozier’s less rhythmic and arguably airy performance here surprised me initially, but he soaks into the feathery choir vocals that end up backing him and make this song really sound like the narrator has little control, being commanded by two contrasting forces until that decisive chorus that truly succeeds at being an anthem. Some of the lyrics in the second verse are a tad on-the-nose and take me out of the song’s overall theme, which arguably stagnates for its second half due to the lack of a true thematic - or really sonic - conclusion, but given I’m listening to it outside of the album’s full context, I feel like this is going to inevitably be a reaction I have, so it feels a tad presumptuous to say it’s a flaw in the track, which is otherwise pretty much flawless. I think this is sticking around and God, wouldn’t that be wonderful? Fantastic song.

#6 - “Like That” - Future and Metro Boomin featuring Kendrick Lamar

Produced by Metro Boomin

Yeah, I don’t like this one either. Now this song is hypothetically, very good. I liked having the surprise of Kendrick when the features weren’t initially credited, and this beat is not dead on arrival, majorly because it’s someone else’s beat. This samples the classic 80s rap track “Everlasting Bass” by Rodney O and Joe Cooley - and General Jeff - but the problem is it decides to only effectively sample part of its really insane beat. For mid-late 1980s California, you can really tell where Memphis rap can grab from this, especially with those blaring klaxon synths, the basic but commanding beat, the nearly constant, playful vocal sampling and of course, that looming bass that is actually from Barry White but sounds terrifying here. “Like That” turns the mains melody of “Everlasting Bass” into an ugly siren resting on more modern and metallic trap percussion that just does not mesh properly. There’s an incessant buzz to everything that is not helped by the twirling Michel’le sample from Eazy-E’s “Eazy-Duz-It” which not only feels overdone but is just unnecessary here. Future is… barely here, mostly because we need to just set out a red carpet for this Kendrick Lamar verse, which I will admit, as always with Kendrick, has some incredible wordplay, and in the context of dissing Drake, I’m all for this cold verse, even if it just doesn’t fit that well over this beat. I mean, it fits more than Future because he has some of the character that the original did, which makes sense given Rodney O and Joe Cooley were from southern California as well. I like the line using members of The Click, that one’s really clever, and the André 3000 line is funny too, but after his verse, the song just malfunctions and refuses to piece itself back together. Metro fades the song out whilst Future is still clearly rapping, and at a higher energy than ever before so I have no idea why he did that. There are longer songs on the album, this one didn’t need to be cut short. Given that this is one of very few tracks on here that Metro is solely responsible for and it’s honestly kind of a trainwreck production-wise, I do have my concerns going forward.

Conclusion

Artemas gets the Worst of the Week for “i like the way you kiss me”, genuinely, what the fuck was that? Future, Metro, Travis and Carti bag the Dishonourable Mention for “Type Shit”, obviously, whilst Best of the Week is honestly kind of difficult. I think I’ll give it to Hozier for “Too Sweet” but with O-Rod close behind as an Honourable Mention with “stranger”. Beyoncé’s coming up next, folks, so be prepared for that, but for now, thanks for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and we’ll see you next week!

[gurugirl]

The Tiffany Club Part 17*

Summary: Some domestic sweetness for the lovebirds and talk of a trip to London for the both of them and then the rest is just smut

Warnings: Smut (f receiving oral + piv), spitting, unprotected sex, cream pie, spanking, use of a belt, and dd/lg dynamic

Part 16*

Part 17*

Quitting Tiffany’s was bittersweet. Of course, Harry was the biggest factor in me leaving the club but now that we have told one another how we feel, along with how much I trust him and the way he treats me, I can’t deny that it’s a decision that also makes me happy. I’m probably getting in over my head with this sudden decision but it just feels so right. To be taken care of by the man. To be loved by him. It’s hard to put into words.

Breaking the news to Edmond was also hard. I couldn’t reach out to him through normal channels because he’s married and I would never do anything to betray him in that way in case his wife would find out about me.

So, his last session was mostly us just chatting and lying together. Edmond said he understood and that he wasn’t hurt by it at all but he was sad to say goodbye. He insisted on paying me the full ten grand for the session, even though nothing remotely sexual happened. I’d promised Harry I wouldn’t do anything with Edmond like that and at the beginning of our session I told Edmond I wasn’t going to have him charged and then explained why. But he maintained that he wanted to pay me one last time because I was so special to him.

And now, as I sit here in the huge condo Harry bought while he’s away at a meeting it all feels so surreal. So strange. I love it but I’m still on edge because I always feel like something could change at any moment – something could take all this away and I’d be back to square one. On my last day at Tiffany’s my boss told me that they would always have me back if I chose to return, which helps me feel much better about everything, but now my focus is Harry and preserving our relationship, what we have together.

I’ve also found that I’m becoming happier with eating a little more now that I’m not full on display like I was at Tiffany’s. Harry encouraged it even.

“You know you can eat normal around me, right? I think you’re fucking gorgeous the way you are but you don’t have to be so strict. Really. No pressure but please don’t feel you need to continue being so restrictive with you diet.” He’d said it to me one afternoon when we went out to grab lunch. I didn’t realize he’d noticed my struggle at all. I just stared at him in surprise and he laughed.

With his hands raised in surrender, “Please don’t take it like I’m trying to police what you eat. I just thought I’d say something. Baby, if you want to eat that last taco, then fucking eat it. You have nothing to worry about with me. Just make yourself happy.” He kissed the top of my head as I sat silent. I didn’t know how to respond to him. It was a surprise that he noticed it. And it was nice to hear that he did notice it in a way. I think it made me feel more free and relaxed. More at peace in life. Nothing hidden anymore.

So, I’ve been working on being more comfortable with eating more and feeling okay about it. I didn’t realize the toll it had taken on me mentally, working at Tiffany’s. The body image issues, the need for perfection. But it was my job. So, I try not to beat myself up over the self-training I put myself through to restrict my calorie intake. And I don’t have to now. I have no pressure to change from Harry, but I know that I should, for myself, so I can be in a healthier place in my mind. The idea of gaining even a single pound scares me a bit, but I’ve been working on it. Slowly.

When Harry came home, quite early might I add, I was in the middle of making notes for my research. I heard the door open, and Barry’s click-clacking jog as he ran to the door to greet the new man in his life. Harry and Barry were quite well bonded at this point; Barry preferring to sit closer to Harry on the couch than me. But that might just be because Harry is quite the sucker when it comes to sharing his food with Barry.

And let me tell you, getting their names correct all the time is quite the challenge. When I’m talking to Harry and I say his name, Barry is right there because he thinks I’ve just called his name. And sometimes I call Barry Harry and vice versa. It’s fun.

I greet Harry with a hug and a kiss and he returns the gesture, “Missed my girl. Had to come home early to you. How’s your day been?” God I love his voice and the way he cares for me.

“Fine. Just doing the usual, holed up in the office and putting some stuff together for my piece. You home for the rest of the day?”

Harry nodded down at me, keeping his arms wrapped around me, holding me close to him, another kiss, this time to my forehead, “Yes. Everything at the office is taken care of today. And anyway, I can come and go as I please. I’m the boss, baby.” Harry's smirk was cocky and sure.

“You are the boss, daddy.” I smushed my face into his chest and inhaled. Harry was comfort.

We both talked about our day and then made dinner together before eating. It felt very domestic and very peaceful, but it still seems very surreal. Like I’m Cinderella and pulled out of a thankless job to marry the Prince who will always love me and take care of me. Not something I've been accustomed to but something I can surely grow to love.

“What are you thinking about, my love?” Harry chewed his bite as he watched me.

“Just how I feel so, at ease now. Like I can breathe a little. Just happy is all.” I reached my hand out to squeeze his forearm with a smile on my face.

“I love you. You make me feel the same way. S’why I couldn’t wait to get home to you today. Just wanted to breathe.”

“I love you too, Harry.” I said smiling brightly at him.

Harry grinned and leaned forward on the table, his demeanor suddenly changed to a little more serious, “I have to go back to London at the end of next week. Just found out today. There’s a big investor coming and London is where they’d prefer to meet so I go wherever they want. I’m the boss at the company but all the big investors are the ones keeping it that way.” He laughs, “Would you like to come with me? The meetings themselves will only be for two days, but if you come, we could spend more time there if you wanted, make it a week and we could do a little vacation. How does that sound?”

I imagined what it would be like going to London with Harry. It sounded wonderful, “I’d really like to go, but I haven’t found a dog sitter or anything like that for Barry. I’ve never really been away from him so I would want it to be someone who could come here and stay with him and for that it would have to be someone we really trust.”

Harry pursed his lips and looked toward the corner of the ceiling in thought humming, “I know someone who we can trust. If we can’t find a legit dog sitter by the time we need to leave, my friend Richard will do it.”

I furrowed my brow, “Richard? How do you know he’ll do it? He seems like he doesn’t need a side gig. And is he good with dogs?” I was concerned. Barry was the best dog, easiest guy to handle but he was still an emotional being who would miss me while I was away. I wanted to have someone watch Barry who would give him plenty of attention and sneak him the occasional treat.

Harry chuckled, “I know he’ll do it because he’s been begging me to house-sit. When I first saw the place, Richard was with me. I think he just wants an excuse to stay in Midtown. He lives a bit further out, has to take the train in or drive to get to the office. His house is massive, but this place isn’t in Midtown. We’re right next to central park here with some of the best restaurants in the world. And yes, he’s a dog lover. Plus, and here’s the biggest one, he only goes into the office on Mondays and the rest he works at home so he could potentially be here all day with Barry. How does that sound? Until we find a dog sitter who we can pay for things like this, Richard will do it. I’m sure of it.”

It seemed like Harry had thought about all this already, “Did you rehearse that?” I laughed and Harry joined me.

He nodded as he spoke, “I knew you’d need to find a sitter and I know Richard will do it. I haven’t spoken to him about it but that’s only because I wanted to know if you were okay with that first.”

I shrugged, “I think it sounds quite ideal. Can we have him come over so we can give him a run through first? That would make me feel better about it.”

So, it was set. I’d be going to London with Harry and Richard would be staying with Barry. After Harry got off the phone with Richard we cleaned up the kitchen together. Harry was being quite touchy-feely with me. Every time he passed by he’d brush against my back or arm, or he’d purposefully wrap a hand around the back of my neck and give it a quick squeeze. I knew he was trying to rile me up. It was working too. Just the thought of what the man could do to me always had me excited.

When Harry closed the dishwasher he came up behind me and put his arms around my front and squeezed me into his body. He dropped his mouth down to my neck and feathered light kisses on my skin, up toward my ear which had me sighing and leaning back into him. I put my arms over Harry’s and turned my head so I could feel closer to him. He kissed my check and then the edge of my lips.

Harry pushed his nose into my cheekbone and then kissed my cheek again, “Why can’t I keep my hands off you? What’s your secret?” Harry whispered against my skin and sighed.

I closed my eyes and felt myself withering away into a soft, liquid mess in his arms, “Maybe because you know how much I always need you to touch me.” You pressed yourself into him as much as you possibly could. There wasn’t anyway to get any closer to him like this.

“Yeah? My little girl needs me to touch her? Where should I touch you?” Harry continued kissing down my neck again, small wet pecks that weren’t enough. I needed more.

“Everywhere. I want you all over me, Daddy.”  I dropped my hands away from Harry’s as he slid his own upward and grazed over my clothed breasts and squeezed at each one gently before bringing his hands back down and grasping my hips. When he pushed his own hips into my bottom I could feel a lump pressing into me.

“Let’s take these pants off you. Need to have a little dessert. Daddy’s still hungry.” Harry put his fingers into the band of my sweatpants and pulled them down my legs, helping me out of the warm material. When the cold air hit my skin, goosebumps covered my thighs and Harry noticed right away, cooing at me, “Oh, honey. Look at this…” he smoothed his hands up my thighs and nudged me forward a bit so I had to lean myself slightly over the counter, my palms flat on the cold, smooth marble.

Harry knelt down behind me and bit over my panties that covered my butt cheeks. I moaned and looked up toward the ceiling. I knew I was in for a nice treat. Anytime Harry did anything to me it was perfection. Harry pulled my panties down my legs in the same fashion that he did my sweat pants, eventually leaving my bottom half completely bare.

Harry placed his hands in between my thighs and pushed my legs apart in silence and then he pushed at my low back, causing me to lean over the counter so my ass was angled up and he could see my pussy fully now.

I laid my arms over the counter and twisted myself a little so I could turn to look at Harry behind me. His eyes were focused on my bum and everything before him. He caressed and squeezed at my cheeks, pulling them apart gently and gave a quick smack to the left side. I jumped and sighed.

Harry was still on his knees behind me, his face level with my pussy when he finally leaned in to push a small kiss right over my labia. Wiggling my bottom a little I kept my eyes on Harry as he leaned in again for another kiss, but this time on my ass cheek and then he softly dragged his wet lips over my bum hole and kissed me there too.

“Daddy…” I moaned. I loved it when he took his time with me. Harry knew all the things I wanted and needed. I loved how he treated me like I was a delicacy every time we had sex.

“What is it baby? Just wanted to say my name? Hmmm?” I nodded and groaned; my body turned so I could see Harry.

Harry flicked his eyes up to mine and grinned, “Time for my dessert. Smells so yummy…”

Harry put his gaze back on the sight that was only his from now on. He slowly moved in to place an open mouth kiss over my entrance and I closed my eyes. Soon, his open mouth kiss included his tongue pressing over my slit with a flat and wide tongue.

He wrapped one arm around the front of my hips and with his other hand he held the back of my thigh to keep me securely in place.

Harry dug in and got to work on me. His nose was nuzzled into my ass and his lips over my cunt. He’d suck me in a little and then lap at me.

Then he slowed down and began to tease a little. He slowly licked from my clit up toward my bum, over and over again. Licking it like he was trying to lick at an ice cream cone and savor the taste. The feeling of his wet tongue, flat and wide, gliding over my labia up and down was soft but it was driving me crazy. I wanted him to fuck me so bad. But he always took the lead when it came to sex so I just let him do whatever he wanted to me.

Soon, I could feel that I was totally slippery and messy, dripping down my thighs, cunt puffy, and entrance ready to take something into itself. My moaning was soft and high pitched. Harry’s continuous lapping of my pussy, the slow, continual licks up and down had me nearly purring.

He didn’t stop when I’d made such a mess that his whole chin and nose were shiny, or when I’d dripped down to the marble floors below us. No, he continued his tortuously, slow, sensual licking. I could hear his breathing getting heavier. Harry was clearly also turned on by this.

“Baby, you should see this. Your little creamy pussy is so sopping wet right now. Completely drenched me and dripping down your legs. Mmm…” he leaned in again, continuing the slow drag of his tongue over me. I knew it must be a mess back there. I could feel how wet I was. His simple, slow motions, the brush of his wide tongue on me and through my folds, over and over again were completely insane. It wasn’t like anything I’d ever experienced. He just continued lapping at me and drinking my arousal in.

After many more minutes, I can’t be sure of exactly how long it took, Harry finally changed his position. I turned to look back at him again, his face wet with me and flushed. He stood up and unbuckled his belt, keeping his eyes on me, a stern look on his face. I continued leaning over the counter, keeping myself in place for him.

“Daddy’s gonna give you more. Don’t worry baby.” He lowered his trousers as he spoke and then pulled his briefs off right after. His cock was always a sight. It had me tingling at the thought of how it felt to stretch me apart.

“Only need what you want to give me, Daddy. Everything you do to me is so good.” I responded to him, my body turned so I could look into his eyes.

“I know, honey. You always seem to like what I give you, don’t you? Such a good girl for Daddy. S’why I love you so much, baby. Always so good for me.” Keeping his eyes on mine he lifted up his belt and wrapped it around my thighs, tightening the belt around me and buckling to keep it in place. I could feel the leather pinching into my skin he’d had it so tight.

When Harry felt the belt was secured tightly enough he brought his hips to mine and I could feel him nudge his hard dick into my ass cheeks. Everything was wet back there. He’d licked all over me, for a good fifteen to twenty minutes. I was soaked from my clit to my anus, and even down my thighs.

“I’m gonna fuck my good girl here in a minute. It’s gonna feel very tight with your legs closed like this, though. Think you’re ready for it? Think you can take Daddy’s cock like this?” He landed a palm over my right cheek and I jumped and moaned at the feel.

“Mmm… yes, Daddy. I’ll take it all. Just fuck my hole however you want to. Need to feel you split me in half.” I said as I wiggled against him.

Harry groaned and smoothed his hands up from my ass, over my ribs and around to my breasts, leaning himself over me. He kissed the back of my shoulder and neck and I closed my eyes.

Then his warmth disappeared as he grasped my ass, spreading me apart a bit and I could feel him nudging his tip at my entrance. He glided himself through my slippery slit, up and down and then landed a hand over my left cheek making me gasp.

When he’d angled himself back again to my entrance this time he began to slowly push into me. The stretch and tightness of him entering me like this was beyond anything I’d ever felt. He’d properly prepared me beforehand though, with his teasing tongue. I was fully aroused and I knew I’d be able to take all of him with how wet and hot I was.

When he’d pushed in half way he let out a whimper and I could hear him panting. He was feeling it too. How tight it was. With my thighs buckled together my pussy was especially tight for him. We both felt the intensity of it.

Harry backed himself out and then rocked in again. He did it a number of times. I could feel him pushing my insides apart when he pressed in and then feeling the emptiness when he backed himself out to the tip. It was like I could feel all his ridges and thickness with how tight my pussy was in this position.

The more he rocked in and out of me, the deeper he was able to get, eventually plunging into me as far as his cock could reach. I sucked in a sharp breath of air at the feel and leaned my head back.

“Okay, baby? This too much?” Harry asked me sweetly but he didn’t stop his languid motion of fucking in and out of my cunt.

I shook my head, “No Daddy. It feels so fucking good like this.” I breathed out in a whine.

Harry grunted and began to roll his hips a little faster. My wet pussy was taking his cock very well, despite the incredibly tight fit. The human body is an incredible machine. Just by appearances, one would look at the size of Harry’s erect penis and then look at the size of a normal pussy, especially one that was not spread open with thighs apart, but with thighs tightly secured together, and think that just wouldn’t fit all the way in there. But, it’s not the case. Harry fits. He saw to it by getting me so turned on and taking his time beforehand that now he’s able to firmly tuck himself into my walls over and over again.

“Yeah. It fuckin feels so good, baby. So fucking tight and wet.” Harry was struggling with dirty talk tonight. His need for release was strong too, it had to be. All that time he spent back there licking me up probably caused him to feel just as on edge as I was. I just knew this felt incredible for him.

“Fuck me, just like, Daddy. Use my pussy to get off. Mmmm…” Harry hastened the movement of his hips at my words and now the stretch was unbelievable. He couldn’t move in and out of me as fast as normal because it was such a tight fit like this, but each push in had me being pressed forward, and each time he dragged his cock back out to the tip it pulled me back with him. Even with how wet I was, the tightness was almost overwhelming.

“Daddy’s gonna come soon honey. I’m gonna use your soft pussy to get off, just like you like but can you come for Daddy first?” He had to still his hips as he spoke. I knew it must be hard for him to keep talking while he was fucking into my tight pussy.

I whimpered and pushed my forehead into the countertop before speaking, “Yeah. I can come on your cock daddy.”

We both moaned as Harry began to thrust again, in and out, faint slapping noises coming from our bodies. Harry held onto my hips with an intense grip as he fucked himself into me, his long cock reaching deep into my tummy every time he pushed in to the hilt.

Each stroke had me closer and closer. I was moaning and whimpering and Harry was grunting at each roll of his hips due to the force it took to get himself pressed into me all the way. In and out of my cunt, creating more of a mess as each moment passed.

Harry pulled my hips back a little to position my hips further away from the counter, “I’m gonna try to go in and fuck you a little harder, okay baby. Can you hold on to the counter for me?”

I nod and grasp onto the counter as best as I can. I know I’m in for it if he needed to give me space for what he’s about to do. I squeezed my eyes closed as I felt him slide his cock out to the tip, knowing what’s going to take place next.

And I was not wrong in my assumption. Harry rammed into me as hard and fast as he could. It still wasn’t as fast as he’s been able to go before, but with how tightly squeezed together my thighs were, his speed was still very impressive and caused my ears to ring and my legs to get wobbly under the pressure.

Each plunge of his cock deep into me made a splash-plop-splash-plop sound as I grew wetter with my orgasm nearing.

I was being rocked forward at each thrust, my hair falling around my face and swaying, and the skin on my forearms that lie over the counter where I held on began to burn from the quick jolts forward each time Harry got balls deep.

No words could be exchanged. We were both panting and moaning and whimpering into the kitchen and I felt myself begin to tremble under the pressure of Harry’s thick cock spreading me apart with each stab of his length being driven into me. The noises between our bodies only got louder and my moans became unstoppable.

“Coming… I’m coming!” I shout as I feel myself spiral out of control and pulse around his fat dick.

Harry held my hips tightly and groaned loudly as he felt me orgasm around him. He continued railing deep into me, fucking me through my release, the splashing sounds only increased.

Finally Harry couldn’t hold back his own orgasm as he came with his hips flush against mine, his body stilled, releasing all of his come as deep inside of me as he could get.

Harry stayed behind me, tucked inside for some moments after as we both caught our breath. I could feel Harry still throbbing as he was coming down from his orgasm. It was intense.

Harry leaned over me and kissed my shoulder blade softly and hummed against my skin, “Fuck, you always feel so good, baby. Always take me so well.”

I just laid out over the counter, the side of my face smushed into the marble that eventually grew warmer as I kept myself pressed over it and nodded with a sigh. I had no words at the moment.

Harry slowly pulled himself out and I felt his mouth back over my pussy as he sucked gently and slurped at me.

Then I felt him quickly release the belt and pull my hips so I was forced to stand and turn to face him. He leaned over me and grasped at my chin, making me drop my mouth open and he spit into my mouth our mixed orgasms poured over my tongue. I kept my mouth open as he backed away and looked at the dirty sight of our come in my mouth. When he smiled at me and looked into my eyes I closed my mouth and swallowed for him.

He shook his head, “Mmm… I love that.” He took his thumb and wiped at my cheek to clean some of the mess that had drizzled out from my mouth, pushing it past my lips and into my mouth.

With his thumb still in my mouth he spoke again, “Let’s go get cleaned up and then take Barry on a walk to the park. I’ve got a sudden burst of energy now.” His grin was wide as he pulled his thumb out.

“Okay, Daddy.”

Chapter 18*

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[chateautae]

saudade | kth. (m)

saudade ; “a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something/someone that one cares for and/or loves.”

➵ summary : a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it's time to find out why.

➵ pairing : idol!taehyung x choreographer!reader

➵ genre : angst, smut, fluff (the holy trinity), idol!au, established relationship!au

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 16k

➵ warnings : sexual content, swearing, dom + sub dynamics, dom!tae, fingering, oral (f. receiving), lots of dirty talk, t e a s i n g because let’s face it this is tae, big dick!tae, cock sliding, marking, restraint (with his own hands), unprotected sex (wrap it up peeps), rough sex, mushy i miss you sex, lots of feels, tae undresses reader (it’s hot i promise), praising, name kink, slight body worshipping, slight brat-handling, forced orgasm, creampie, one spank, tiny impreg kink, aftercare

➵ a/n : wow, my first fic on tumblr!! i’m beyond excited to finally be sharing my stories and writing, hopefully i can let you escape into a whole new world and enjoy my works! comments and feedback are always appreciated <3

2:27AM. 

He still wasn't home. 

Texts on delivered, calls unanswered, radio silence on all social media. 

And it wasn’t just tonight, it was every night. 

Everyday. 

And it’s been a month. A long, grueling month.

A month where he only acknowledged your presence just once and called it a day. A month where he returned so late and left early enough the following morning you didn't see him. Somedays, he never even came home at all. You made suggestions to hang out together, and he declined them on the premise of 'too busy'. 

It hurt beyond comprehension. 

It's like he wasn't even there.

But you knew he was. 

He was the one who moved your sleeping body from the couch to your shared bed every night, a sweet gesture of his that gave you hope maybe everything wasn't so bad. Sometimes, though, you woke up on the same couch the next morning, knowing he most likely stayed the night elsewhere. 

You tried to remain indifferent to the treatment, figuring he was just stressed with his tightly-packed schedule that didn't always include you. 

But it was beginning to feel heart-breaking, disappointing, but most of all, so lonely. It was starting to feel like he was slipping away from you, like you were losing him, relationship tearing at the seams. It left you nothing but heartbroken and afraid. Afraid of where your relationship had gone, afraid of whatever happened to the never-ending love you two shared. You both harboured an array of feelings for one another that infinitely tethered you two together, kept you madly in love and nearly impossible to separate.  

So where was that now? How could it have all changed within the span of a month? 

You’ve survived comebacks with him before and he never entertained this kind of behaviour. Maybe you had a fight or two about someone cancelling on a plan or working too hard but nothing as excruciating as this. 

Your relationship began to feel empty, so meaningless. And the more he was distant, the stronger the pain grew and your love seemed to be losing its vitality.

Why would he do this? What's gotten into him? Did I do something wrong? Why doesn't he care anymore? you asked yourself repeatedly for weeks.

You’d think work was the issue, where your relationship had to be purposefully low-profile and subdued. But ever since the inception of your relationship, Taehyung never found any of that difficult. If anything, he loved it the most. You could easily leave it to the 'forbidden’ or 'looked down upon' stigma of you two dating to make everything 100x hotter, more exciting, and fuck, did you and especially Taehyung enjoy fiddling around with the concept as if you were some modern-day remake of Romeo and Juliet. 

The sneaking around, the thrill of moments only you two shared, the promises you kept, the secret kissing or displays of affection, your romantic status like classified information some were only privy to. 

But you didn't have to worry about suddenly losing your 'Romeo', though, because Taehyung wasn't as stupid as he was (no offence, Shakespeare). 

Taehyung remained business-like whenever he needed to be and tended to his work accordingly. He was always cautious of the consequences your relationship warranted, and worked hard to prove your love was worth it despite his chaotic life and the challenges everyone warned you of. 

Taehyung has also always been mischievous, a little rebellious, someone who doesn't always like following whatever he's told; so this relationship was just his cup of tea, making it hard to believe he would grow tired of it considering his well-precedented admiration. 

But now, you weren’t so sure. 

Now he seemed practically devoid of the fact that you two were even dating. He didn’t naturally gravitate towards you anymore like before, instead increasingly gravitating away from you. He didn't linger around to catch a moment with you anymore, didn't come looking for you, didn't spark conversation whether it was important or not, even stopped looking at you as a whole. It seemed like being in your presence was something he avoided rather than just didn't do, like he wanted to fill his time elsewhere and sometimes… you swore it felt intentional. 

As if he didn't want to be around you. 

You sought communicating with him about everything, pinning all the blame on his mountain-high stress and how busy he was thinking you could help ease his mind; but he stayed firm on the notion he was just fine. You obviously knew something was up and wanted to confront him, but you feared pestering or nagging him, never wishing to add to his stress.

And you get that, you really do. He has this demanding, grandiose life that you should understand is incredibly stressful and time-consuming. But you're going to be honest... you fucking missed Kim Taehyung. A lot. 

Granted, you saw him at work, even more so now with a comeback dawning on the group, but it wasn’t the same. 

You missed being home with him. You missed the way his big arms cuddled you when you watched a movie together, you missed 'attempting' to cook dinner with him, you missed your snuggly mornings where he wouldn’t let you go until he laid at least a hundred kisses on you. You missed him tickling you when you least expected it, randomly playing any track of jazz or slow music, swaying you until he made you giggle and you missed him never forgetting to kiss your forehead whenever he parted from you, even if he had to be discreet where work was concerned. 

The cute, couply things you missed, sure. But the one thing that consistently clouded your mind and bothered you nearly every second of everyday... 

Sex. 

That active as hell sex life you two had, you missed every damn detail about it and your body desperately yearned for its revival.

After a month's dryspell, you craved Taehyung so badly it wasn’t funny anymore. From all the times he eyed you suggestively, to the way his large, touchy hands ended up all over you, to the way he eventually laid you down, lost himself in his torturous but pleasurable teasing, maybe even tying you up or handcuffing you in the process, getting you dripping wet before he eventually fucked you just right simply out of his own desire.

Nope. 

You can't do this, it only made you hornier than you already were and fuck, did anything you try on yourself not work at all. You were feeling greedy. Going from doing it nearly three times a week during quarantine lockdown with him to suddenly having gone a month sex-free left you losing your mind. 

There used to be so much fire, so much love, so much passion between you two. It was intoxicating, so ardent that you could feel yourselves aching for each other in your bones.  But now, all of that felt either non-existent or buried so deep underground you couldn't feel much of anything. And of course, the absence of sex and the cute stuff collectively sucked, sure. But what scared you the most were your own thoughts. 

What if he's finally tired of you? What if he wants to focus on his career? What if he's found someone new, someone that isn’t staff, someone much easier and less burdensome than you..

You stopped. 

A dark web of assumptions swarmed your head, all seeming completely plausible and welcoming a dull, daunting sadness to loom over you. Your chest constricted at the thought of your fickle importance to him, wincing at the possibility it could be true. You sat in silence in your lonely home, leaving you to ponder when the apartment began to feel so forlorn in the first place.

The photographs he took framed the walls, the old albums he owned littered your shelves and even one of the many jackets he owned was currently sprawled across your couch. You noticed the way his presence was so deeply rooted in the home, yet he felt as distant as ever. 

You settled in on your couch, cradling his jacket at the thought of how much longer this would continue, forcing yourself to sleep in hopes of ridding the feeling of emptiness from your chest.

But you couldn't.

Your mind drowned struggling to sleep, giving up on shut-eye as a whole until eventually you began swimming, swimming through your emotions and one particular thought stood out to you; this wasn't fucking fair. 

It just wasn't, none of this was. You can't let him continue this, can't remain on the fence about doing something and you certainly cannot just let this go. It was your duty as one of the active partners in this relationship to fight for its life, so that's exactly what you were going to do—with one conclusion you were convinced would work. 

You should give him a taste of his own medicine. 

You decided to be upset, ignore him and see how he reacts. Respond with the same curt responses, not give him the time of day, 'naturally' gravitate away from him. Hell, you could start tomorrow by waking up earlier than him and seeing how he responds to your empty side of bed for once. 

That's if he even comes home tonight. 

This seemed like the only sure-fire method of gaining his attention. Maybe if you acted unreasonably, far from how you usually do he would finally pay you any mind, have to approach and confront you. You’d always let him off the hook on the account of him being an idol, but now he’s taken it too far. 

Your mind grew hazy somewhere in between thinking and shuffling on the couch, only the sight of a vacant apartment and the scent of his cologne lulling you to sleep. 

You groaned as your eyes fluttered open, the reality of last night resurfacing as you remembered the impromptu plan for today, cursing how early you had to wake up to avoid him. 

You lazily rubbed at your eyes as they landed on the clock on your bedside table, suddenly registering you were in a different room altogether. It was then you felt the softness of your pillow, the silk of your sheets, the familiarity of your room's walls coming into view—all of it blissful until you froze at the feeling of weight around your waist, a quick glance confirming it was an arm. It was then you felt your neck being fanned by hot breaths, your back flush against someone's bare chest and you felt your heart speed up. 

Is he...?

Thinking you're getting ahead of yourself, you're proven just right when you turn around to a face you knew all too well. 

Taehyung's soft figure rose and fell as he slept soundlessly next to you. 

You instantly softened, in a bit of shock because he was right there, angelic as ever as he breathed calmly and cuddled your smaller figure into him.

He still held you to fall asleep, huh?

A smile found your face at the thought as you admired the details of his; thick, pretty lashes pressed against the skin underneath his eyes, his large, veiny hand tucked under his cheek as the other draped you, his pink, pillowy lips sealed together in an adorable pout. You shifted onto your side and nuzzled closer into him, listening to his rhythmic breathing and watching his broad chest rise and fall. You melted into his presence, soaking in all the glory that was Kim Taehyung. 

You then remembered he was always here, he did give you his personal time; you just didn't see him. You knew he moved you at night, tucked you in, maybe kissed you goodnight. Maybe he had moments where he felt terrible for being away, whispered sweet apologies and promises into your ear.

But then again, you wouldn’t know, you didn't spend enough time together for you to know. 

A sudden movement of his arm and that eerie thought snapped you back into reality, instantly scolding yourself for getting distracted by him. You had to focus on how you felt, hone in your emotions and refrain from doting on your precious boyfriend. 

You wouldn't be able to ignore him later if you didn't start now.

You were forced to leave his warmth, having to ready yourself for today's rehearsals and resolving numerous things for however long this would continue; you needed Taehyung to feel what you've been feeling all this time, needed him to feel the absence of your presence just as you had felt his. 

And you'll be damned if you were going to be easy about it. 

A couple hours had passed as you stretched, yawning after revising a rehearsal video, the murmurs of staff keeping you awake. Stretching for what felt like the millionth time, you slightly jumped at the sound of the studio doors opening just before the scheduled time. You watched it mindfully, your heart speeding up at the thought of suddenly seeing Taehyung so soon. 

Don’t let it be him first, don’t let it be him first, don’t let it be him first. 

You calmed down once your eyes set on 5 of the members ambling in, watching them greet people until you eventually spotted Jimin and Taehyung trailing behind, thankfully too occupied with giggling to see you. 

You rejoiced in the lack of eye contact until you decided to sneak a peek at Taehyung, mortified when you found his eyes suddenly locking with yours. The shock made you turn away instantly, swallowing what felt like your heart down your throat. 

Your ears were welcomed to the boys making conversation, playfully teasing the 95's for apparently being late and in the midst you managed to shyly greet everyone... except Taehyung.  

And this didn't go unnoticed by him, who already felt worried since he woke up to your cold, unoccupied side of the bed this morning. Taehyung instantly found it off-putting, since he usually knew your schedule and left him wondering what reason you had to disappear without informing him. 

Curiosity flooded him as the thought continued to bug him, what did she have to do so early in the morning? His inquiries turned into actions when he began passing through the boys, immediately stepping towards you. 

"Morning, Y/N. Everything alright?" Taehyung innocently reached for your shoulder once he settled beside you. You almost let him do it, making you reminiscent of when he actually gave a shit about you, but you remembered your little scheme and swiftly pulled away.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Taehyung immediately froze up, disbelief riddling his handsome features. You've never once rejected his touch so blatantly. 

You would never do that, he thought.

Taehyung paused his hand at the point he would have touched you, tugging at his bottom lip uncomfortably before rubbing the back of his neck. You internally winced at the hurt you could see on his face through the studio mirrors, forcing yourself to stand your ground as he feebly spoke again.

"You don't seem fine. Why did you wake up so early this morning? You didn't tell me about it..." He scratched his neck awkwardly, a hint of a pout in his tone.

"I don't know, I just couldn't sleep. I don't need to tell you my every move, Taehyung." You responded curtly.

"I know..but you could've told me, Jagiya. We could've spent the morning together in the apartment if you were up so early." Taehyung looked at you in protest, lowering his voice so others couldn't hear. 

The use of your pet name after a long time instantly ticked you off, even more so his proposal, he could say all that cute shit but couldn't act upon it? 

Irritation nestled its way under your skin, causing you to whisper dryly, “Just get to stretching, Taehyung, we have a lot to go over today.”

His jaw clenched as he swallowed, a troubled expression painting his face. He managed a small 'okay' before he unwillingly stepped away.

Taehyung was beyond confused; something was wrong, seriously wrong. It wasn't just your harsh tone or icy aura, but even in the way you addressed him so plainly as Taehyung. 

He didn't understand, he's seen you mad or annoyed before, but nothing along these lines and he couldn’t piece together the reason for your attitude. It seemed like nothing would ameliorate your mood either, leaving Taehyung cursing whatever evil thing was making you so upset. 

Despite experiencing that bitter demeanour, however, Taehyung was forced to watch you act friendly with everyone else during practice.. except him. 

And what was even worse, he watched you do so for the rest of the week. You had gone a whole week with your (what he found to be) ridiculous behaviour, everything about you so different with him he was left consumed with frustration. 

He watched as you continued to treat everyone else the same, getting a little too close to them than he liked. It was something he noticed in the weeks previous to this, but now silently pissed him off even more because this time you decided to purposefully exclude him; and he hated it. You barely spoke or tended to him over the course of the week, Taehyung's envy blooming in his chest at the way you acted so close to everyone yet treated him, your boyfriend, like a stranger. 

He didn't understand why he was the only one, you talked to Jimin about what he did on his days off, pretended to box with Jungkook, danced around with Yoongi and Hoseok and goofed around with Jin and Namjoon. Hell, he even found you socializing with other staff and dancers more than usual. 

Taehyung couldn't fucking stand it, what in the world was wrong with you? Not only did he figure something was clearly wrong, but that he clearly did something wrong. 

He was beyond confused, annoyed, but more so worried as to what was fuelling your actions. Taehyung didn't know what he did, and he couldn't manage not knowing anymore, most of all despising the feeling that he was suddenly losing you. 

He quickly resolved after a gruesome week he wasn't letting you go after rehearsals tonight, giving a fat fuck you to his evening plans and trading them in for confronting you. 

Your eyes stung from a week’s worth of waking up at the ass crack of dawn to avoid Taehyung, rubbing your eyes as you slung your purse over your shoulder to end another day at the studio. Thinking you were alone, you swiveled around to an empty room and surprisingly spotted Taehyung.

You jumped a little, not expecting him to still be here when you knew he had dinner plans tonight. 

Did he cancel them? 

Suddenly realizing this is the first time in over a month you’ve been in a room with him, alone, and especially after the week you've spent purposefully dodging him, anxiety flooded your chest. 

Your eyes flittered around, nibbling on your lip awkwardly as you pretended he wasn't there. You eventually met his eyes and he returned your hesitant gaze with an intense one, nearly peering into your very soul. He remained unbothered with his hands tucked into his pockets, and now that you were finally viewing him, couldn't help but swoon over his look for the day. 

He really chose to wear that damn grey hoodie with matching grey sweatpants that makes you weak, hair styled in the messy curls he's been sporting ever since his perm and wearing that one silver hoop earring you found incredibly hot. 

He looked like a fluffy puppy but also a full-course meal crafted by God himself. 

This isn't fucking fair at all. 

He noticed you staring at him and his head cocked to the side, studying you with a hint of a smirk. He raised an eyebrow tauntingly, like he wouldn't let you go after trapping you in what felt like shackles around your ankles. You could only swallow dryly, averting your eyes and reminding yourself you had to get out of his trance

His power over you was immense, especially when he flipped his curly fringe from his eyes, examining you with such a fiere, unreadable expression you shifted nervously on your feet. 

How is he so dominant when he's standing a whole 15 fucking feet away from you?

You watched a self-satisfying grin play onto Taehyung’s lips, loving the way you squirmed under his undivided attention until he suddenly began stepping in your direction, sheer panic overtaking you. You weren't ready, you didn't really think of the result of this plan and now that it's worked, you knew you were in trouble. 

Taehyung is unpredictable as hell, you never knew what was running through his mind and which idea he’d pick to entertain. You malfunctioned at the thought and your flight response kicked in, making you step towards the door at light speed. 

"I..uh.. I have to go." You stuttered and purposely ducked around him. You felt relieved once you passed his deep stare, until you felt his slender fingers suddenly grapple onto your wrist. 

Shit. 

"You're not going anywhere." His low voice reverberated in the room, sending currents through your body. You refused to look at him, knowing it would make you squeal, but you stabilized your voice to speak. 

"I..", you swallowed, "don't think it's your place to say." 

You felt his hold on your wrist tighten, knowing that pissed him off. 

A small moment of silence passed and you thought he'd given up, relaxing until he suddenly yanked you towards him, your smaller figure crashing into his chest. He held you against his tall body as his eyes locked with your timid ones, forcing the confrontation of your obvious issue with him. 

You took a stubborn step back instead of giving in, arms crossed. Taehyung had enough of you evading his look and gently lifted your chin with his index finger.

"My place? It's been a fucking week and you haven't even looked at me, Y/N. What is your problem?" He emphasized with annoyance, but his soft eyes gave away he was just desperate for an answer. 

"Nothing's wrong, Taehyung, I'm just tired."

"Oh really? Tired? Y/N, don't think I didn't notice you ignore me for an entire week. I thought something was wrong in general but clearly you have a problem with me and only me. What's your deal?" He vented in frustration, tone utterly displeased.

You only scoffed disbelievingly, looking towards the ground in search of something to hold back your piled-high emotions. 

Taehyung grew tired of your silence and sighed with dejection. He cupped your cheeks and looked at you seriously, "Look at me, bubs, what's so wrong? Did I do something?" the newfound frailty in his voice left you sucking in a breath of guilt. 

You really wanted to voice how you felt, teetering on the possibility until you suddenly became aware you'd be requesting demands from one of the busiest people on Earth.

 Your tongue habitually tied itself. 

"It's just.. It's not important, Taehyung. Let me go." You abruptly turned out of his hold, locking your jaw tightly. 

"Why in God's name would I let you go? Something's wrong, Jagiya, and that's always going to be important to me." Taehyung squeezed your arms affectionately, suddenly warming you to him. 

You could instantly feel your emotions conflicting inside, flooding your chest with regret yet frustration so heavy you needed air. Your eyes were beginning to reveal your vulnerability, trying to blink away threatening tears. 

"Taehyung, just let me go, it's absolutely nothing." Your voice sounded shakily unconvincing and yet, you were tugging yourself away as if he would believe you. 

"It's not nothing, I can clearly see something wrong. Why won't you just tell me?" 

"Because I don't want to tell you, Taehyung. It's really just nothing." 

"You keep saying it's nothing but I can see it in your eyes, you're upset, Jagiya. I know you." Taehyung spoke matter-of-factly, his grip and tone growing desperate.

"I'm not upset, I'm just exhausted." 

"Exhuasted..” Taehyung trailed, licking his lips. “Of course, because now you're waking up earlier than you usually do in the morning and on top of that without even fucking telling me why." His tone grew irritated as he scoffed, looking away from you.

You instantly grew annoyed. 

"And I told you I don't need to tell you my every move, Kim. Why are you even so pissed about it?” 

"Did you just.. family name me?" Taehyung narrowed his eyes

"So what if I did?" You deadpanned. 

Taehyung let out a deep sigh. 

"I’m pissed cause I got worried, okay? Not everyone has a situation like ours where anyone could do shit to you because of me, so I like knowing where you are." Taehyung stressed with a serious tone. "And listen, I’m not letting you go until you tell me what's wrong. I'm fucking serious, Jagi, you did not just ignore me all week only to tell me nothing's wrong." 

"And I'm not gonna say anything. I'm fucking serious, Taehyung." You mimicked him, hoping he'd let you go. 

Taehyung dragged his tongue along the inside of his cheek and chuckled dryly, your impossibility unbelievable to him. He pursed his lips before slowly releasing you, his hands up in mock surrender. 

"Fine, you can leave then." 

You took his words without a second thought and immediately turned for the door. You had just cracked it open before Taehyung’s hand suddenly smacked it shut from behind, making you turn around startled. 

He abruptly pinned you against the door with the weight of his body, locking you in with both arms. He leveled himself to your height and peered directly into your eyes.

"And I told you, I'm not letting you go, Ms. Y/L/N." Taehyung now mimicked you as you felt him dominate you with a degree of alpha-male that left you entranced and unable to move. He drew himself closer to your face, so close that he granted no room for you to breathe. You could only stand in defeat, your doe eyes wide as you flashed them to his lips and back to his eyes. 

Taehyung couldn't resist how much he wanted you anymore.

"I always forget how challenging you can be." He spoke in his deepest, sultriest tone, that damn bass paired with his dancing eyes causing you to bite your lip. 

Taehyung watched you do so and grew hot, finding you irresistible when you were acting impossible yet became putty in his hands. You balled your hands into fists against his chest as he dangerously inched towards your neck, his proximity shooting arousal through your blood. 

His scent was intoxicating, resurfacing the numerous thoughts you had of him in his absence. He manifested butterflies in your chest,  knowing you had to resist him yet found yourself giving in.

He finally ducked into your neck, anticipating the connection of his lips until he only ghosted your skin. He breathed against you purposefully to elicit a reaction, gifted his desire when he felt your body lean into him and breath hitch. 

You hated that you wanted him to kiss you already. You craved him so desperately, so in need of his touch that just the feeling of his body pushing you against the door was enough to make you press your thighs together. 

And little did you know, a month and a week without you left Taehyung dying to devour you. 

As if noticing you getting impatient, he pulled you towards him by your waist and his lips finally crashed onto your neck, a silent groan escaping you as his plush lips began mouthing sensually. You let out a breathy moan but gathered the courage to speak up, knowing full well the high creeping up on you and you needed to get back at him.

"Maybe if you were home more often you'd remember." 

A small laugh escaped Taehyung, "So that's what this is about?" The sudden puff of his breath made you want to jump him. He deliberately pushed his hips into yours, shooting jolts throughout your core once you felt the familiar prodding of something hard. He began sliding one of his hands up and down your waist, almost in an effort to distract you. 

"Of course it is, Tae. You're never fucking home." You spoke with vexation, growing both sexually and emotionally frustrated over the way he was pressing you up against the door and inviting a stirring feeling to constrict your insides. He brought his thigh in between your legs, slightly grinding against you as he added pressure to your heat and sucked your sweet spot.

"I'm never fucking home, huh? Who do you think moves you from the couch to our bed? Makes sure you're comfortable and tucks you in? Kisses you goodnight?" He asked rhetorically, letting his teeth bite at your supple flesh and embellish you with his favourite purple marks.

"T-that's not the point, Taehyung. I'm not awake. H-how does that count as you being home?" You retaliated as best you could, snaking your hands to grab the nape of his neck, fingers trailing into the curly ends of his hair. He groaned so audibly that you grew shamelessly hornier.

"Because I do come home. I sleep next to you in our bed, even cuddle you." He began sucking underneath your jaw, wrapping his arm around your torso to press you flush against him. He kissed down your throat trying to bite and leave more hickies, pushing you back for support.

"I-I just told you, that doesn't count, Tae. You... come home when I'm asleep and leave before I wake up. I-I never see you." You tried to maintain your composure, hands hugging his head close to you. 

"But we already see each other here, don't we? You see me at practice, meetings, in the building... no?" He suddenly came off your neck and his hand flanked to your chin, advancing for a kiss. But immediate annoyance flooded you upon registering his words, pulling your face back. 

"Are you kidding me? You count that as seeing each other? All we do is rehearse choreography and work together. How is that 'seeing' each other?" You asked, baffled at his audacity. 

"Because we're at least together, aren't we? Isn't that all that matters?" Taehyung looked at you as if you were the ridiculous one, ignoring your concerns and trying to kiss you again. You immediately removed yourself from him and pushed him back, his hands letting you go.

"That's not the issue, Tae. The issue is that you're really busy and I get that, but we literally haven't done anything together in the last month. And the reason that sounds insane to me is because we work and live together, you'd expect that somewhere in that time we would’ve done something... but we haven't." You emphasized as you pled your case. 

"Princess, we've been over this. I told you at the beginning of our comeback that our time together was gonna be limited. I remember you agreeing to that and understanding. Why is this coming up now?" 

"So going an entire month neglecting your ‘princess' is what you meant? Your 'limited' seems more like 'nothing at all'.” You air quoted and crossed your arms, becoming annoyed with his ambiguity and sudden use of another pet name. 

"Okay, that's not what I'm saying. All I'm saying is that comeback season is busy, it's one thing after another and I can't always keep up with everything. There’s a lot going on; our album, company business, don’t get me started on the mountain of work with promotions, concerts, filming and photoshoots. I'm even making an entire fucking mixtape. I’m trying my damn best here." Taehyung vouched for himself, holding his hands up to defend against your accusations.

"And I'm not saying you don't try, I understand that you're busy but what I’m saying is I don't even feel important to you anymore, let alone a priority. We barely interact, you never do anything with me or talk to me, but for everyone else you’ve got all the effort in the world to spare. I get that you're an idol, I always see you working hard and I'm proud of that. But you somehow make time for everything else.. why can't you just make some time for me?" You felt like you sounded selfish, almost faltering from revealing anymore but you felt so neglected it had to be said. 

"Wh-what about you? Oh my God, Jagiya.. you're such a high priority to me. Trust me, you really don’t know what I'd do for us and you should know I’d damn well do or sacrifice anything. It may seem like I'm not right now but I promise it's not like that. You'll always be important to me, how could you think otherwise?" Taehyung was perplexed by your sudden outburst, never having known of these feelings before. He reached his hands out to you but you abruptly denied him, snapping at the question.

“Then what’s it ‘like’, exactly? Because it seems very much to me like you want nothing to do with our relationship.” 

“No, that’s-that’s not it at all. Don’t worry about this, okay bubs? Overthinking this won’t do you any good, just trust me.” 

“Trust you? You're not even answering my damn question, Taehyung, what is it then? Why aren’t you telling me? Are you fucking hiding something?” You began speculating, his repeated vagueness irking you.

“Jagi, no, just listen to me. Know that I mean it when I say you’re important to me, you’re the love of my life and you'll always be a priority. Why are you thinking like this? Where is all this coming from?” Taehyung asked incredulously, getting on your very last nerve. 

"I don't fucking know, Taehyung, maybe because you ignore me for hours on end? Maybe because you leave me every morning without considering just waking up together? I know we can't make it obvious we live together, but we’ve always found a way before, what happened to that? Your texts and phone calls are so meaningless. You make time for your friends and other people but don't make any for me." Your eyes turned glassy, tears escaping as you recalled your terrible feelings over the last month. 

"Do you know why you find me sleeping on the couch every night no matter how fucking uncomfortable it is? Because our bed literally smells like you and it constantly reminds me of you but you’re not even there. Do you know how many times I've wanted to talk to you but you're too distracted and I know you'd just push me away? Or how scared I am of bothering you? How many times I've wanted you to come home? How utterly empty and lonely the apartment feels without you even though everything about you is riddled all over it? You don't get it, Taehyung. You just don't fucking get it." You found yourself crying and clutched your chest where it felt like your heart was on display for Taehyung, the reality of everything hitting you like a 16-wheeler. 

Taehyung did nothing but blink at you for several seconds, shocked at what he just heard. Were you seriously.. that upset? His absence was that prominent? It didn't even feel like a month to him, but it seems to you it felt like an eternity. 

Taehyung unfortunately only knew his packed schedule and making sure he didn’t fall asleep where he shouldn't. A multitude of things ran through his mind on a daily basis with his chaotic life; discussing outfits with his stylist, trying to purchase that new serum his makeup artist always reminds him of, meeting with a producer to review freshly composed songs for his mixtape or finally going out for that one drink he always promised a friend or two—and he suddenly hated it all. 

He especially began to loathe his demanding life when he saw the hurt on your face; the way your eyes glistened with pain, the loneliness in your voice, the way you tried physically holding yourself together. He couldn't fathom he was the cause of such pain, wincing at how utterly stupid he was for not noticing this earlier.

I really did do something to her.

He searched for anything to say, beginning to form words but quickly stopping himself from starting a sentence each time. He only examined your crumbling state and regretted not having talked to you sooner, but suddenly wishing you informed him about your feelings preemptively.

"I.. I thought you would've said something, Y/N, but you didn't. How am I supposed to know you feel this way if you don't tell me? You-you seemed okay to me." He inquired softly, tone riddled with guilt, but his words only made a disdainful scoff leave your lips. 

"Told you? Taehyung, you have always made it clear that you're a busy person and I've always respected that. You also made clear the importance of this comeback and that I just had to understand how limited our time together would be. Of course I had to act okay. How could you expect me to come and beg you for your attention after you tell me not to seek it?"

Taehyung was taken aback, falling silent. You watched him angrily, finding it unbelievable he really had nothing to say for such a crucial argument. 

"I was fucking embarrassed, Taehyung. I thought you'd get mad at me for hovering around you while you were busy and stressed. I didn't want to fucking suffocate you." 

"What? Jagi, no, this is important. I wouldn't have reacted like that at all. If you were hurting this much you could've told me and I would've done something. You can always talk to me, how could you not know that?" Taehyung inquired with a hint of accusation and it was like every cell in your body had set off.

"Oh fuck you, Kim Taehyung. Don't give me that bullshit! Of course I know, but I also know that you just get caught up in your own world and your extravagant idol life and I don't wanna fucking bother you when you’re living it without me!" 

"Y/N, don't. I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, can you watch your tone a little?" Taehyung asked with a frustrated timbre.

"You know what? I won't, Taehyung, let's fight. Only way to get your attention, isn't it?" Your feelings had reached its peak as you decided to egg him on.

"Don't do this, Y/N. I'm trying to have a civilized conversation." 

"And I don't want a civilized conversation, it's only making you ask me stupid questions." 

"They're not stupid questions. Can you not understand my side of this?" 

"Nope, I won't because I don't care about your side, actually." 

"The fuck? And you just expect me to understand your side when you won't even try to understand mine? I’m expected to know how you feel? Well news flash, Y/N, I can't exactly read minds.” He humorlessly tapped his head for effect, quipping at you harshly.

"I'm not asking you to read my mind, I'm just asking you to fucking pay attention for once in your goddamn life." You rolled your eyes dramatically, arms crossed tight as ever. 

Taehyung noticeably grew angry at the remark, his eyes narrowing in irritation. "Do not tell me of all people I don't pay attention. You know I've changed over the years but how attentive I am hasn't. Don't ever say that to me again." Taehyung's stern voice warned you of the line you were crossing.

You immediately softened and turned your attitude down a notch, only by a margin since you knew he would never grow angry enough to do anything to you.

"Fine, you pay attention, but clearly not enough." You acquiesced, looking away from him. 

Taehyung tried his best to reason now that he sensed you yielding. "Look, this is my first time hearing about this, okay? I had no clue, especially because you seemed and acted fine with me. Of course I'm going to tell you you should've just talked to me, I'm seriously not asking stupid questions." 

"Well, I didn't want to talk to you." 

"And how was that going to help you? It's only making us argue over something so easily fixable." He indirectly accused you and you returned your eyes to his, narrowing them at his audacity. 

"Wow, easily fixable, huh? Do you really think it takes that little to earn my forgiveness after neglecting me for an entire month? Am I that easy to you?" You smiled to yourself miserably, turning away as tears spilled from you. 

Your assumptions were correct, he really just thought of you as some easy pushover. Part of this was your fault, wasn't it? Being so quiet and passive about everything. You voluntarily let him get away with everything, let him slip away without a fight, and the frustration of that realization came washing down on you, hard. 

"No, wait. That's not what I meant. I just meant that if you'd let me known earlier, we wouldn't be fighting like this." Taehyung instantly softened at your tears with regret, internally facepalming himself.

"I didn't want to openly tell you, okay? It makes me seem...like an attention-seeker, and I was so afraid of bothering you." You wore your heart on your sleeve as your voice wavered, more tears escaping as you attempted to blink them away. 

Taehyung looked at you with overwhelming worry. His heart was beyond broken now, his desire to fix everything growing stronger with every tear that dared escape your eyes. 

He needed to make this right, fast.

"It doesn't make you a fucking attention-seeker, Y/N. Stop being so worried about how you appear to me, I'm with you for a reason. I accept you in any way, especially after how much we fought for this, for us. Your feelings too, they're all fucking valid to me. I really would've done something if you’d just told me how you felt." Taehyung practically pleaded, his pouty lips and devastated eyes making it clear he just wanted to reach some sort of consensus with you. 

"But that's the problem, Tae." You sniffled, wiping some tears. "You keep saying I should’ve told you, when you should've noticed on your own in the first place." 

Taehyung felt like someone had slapped him across the face, his lips parting as a deep look of realization dawned on his gorgeous face. "I…" He trailed, but couldn't let words out. He was realizing how stupid he was, how unobservant and ignorant. He hated it all, hated that he was so busy, hated that he didn't pay enough attention and hated that he hurt you. 

You gave up when his lack of words warranted a tense silence between you two, cut short when you hastily left the room. You walked in the direction of the parking lot angrily. You just needed some air, needed to go home and cleanse yourself of him for the time being. 

You thought you were being quick enough, until you heard laboured footsteps and Taehyung's low voice echoing in the hallway, tailing you. 

"Y/N! Wait, wait! Please, don’t walk away!" Taehyung practically begged as he rushed to your side.

"I'm not gonna wait for anything, I'm going home!" 

"Stop! My manager's gonna take us home tonight, okay? We're gonna talk about this." He stated with solidarity as he grabbed your arm, eager to patch things up.

"No we're not, and I have my own car, I'm getting myself home." You snatched your arm from him and marched on.

"You can leave it here for fuck's sake, and I said stop. We're going home together and sorting this out because I can't leave you like this, okay? We need to fix this."

"Awh, all I'm getting from that is you'll finally be home for once!" You chirped sarcastically, never looking at him as you practically stomped away. You saw him falter from your side, knowing he had to have paused at the heft of your comment. 

You both eventually made it through the building’s doors, you needing to be pretty much dragged into his manager’s car despite your vehement protest, stupidly shut into the back with him.

You were turned away putting on an Oscar’s worthy performance of pretending he wasn’t there, and Taehyung was left to canvas his numerous thoughts as the car drove. 

He realized he had said nothing to your comment earlier because.. you were right. 

When was the last time he sat in a car with you like this? The last time you were both home together? The last time you both lazily threw your things onto the floor once you arrived home and immediately smothered each other after holding back all day? The last time he held you in his arms while you two watched a trashy movie? 

Holy fuck, when was the last time we had sex? Made love? 

He could only think of memories from weeks ago in quarantine, nothing recent. His solemn gaze fell upon you as he thought. He could feel the prominent tension between you two, the gut-wrenching distance, leaving a black hole swallowing his heart. He felt no ease, no affection, no love. 

When did it fucking become like this? 

He was still struggling to stomach the fact that he hurt you. He watched you regretfully, tears pricking at his eyes as he saw you attempting to hold back your own. 

He then felt the sudden need to hold you, to comfort you. You had been pulling away from him for so long that he wanted nothing but to feel his large, warm hand cradle your smaller, colder one. Reassure you that while he's stupid, he's still here. 

Taehyung looked at you and leaned over, deciding to gently slide a reaffirming hand atop yours, gripping your fingers with all the love and warmth he could muster. 

He expected you to reject him, nearly giving up on a reaction until he felt your tentative hand just barely grab his back. Surprised, he took a relaxed breath. 

I'm going to fix this.

Taehyung shut the door as you two sauntered into your apartment and you disregarded your things, heading straight for your room. You thought it would make Taehyung leave you alone, but he caught your hand as you began stepping away. He didn’t yank you; simply held your wrist, still and remorseful with your back to him. 

A long pause passed as he stood in place, silence piercing the air until you spoke coldly, "What do you want?"

“I’m sorry.” Was all he could manage, his once powerful voice so incredibly small. 

You searched for a response, the air becoming somewhat suffocating as you sighed. “I know.” 

“No, you don’t. Jagiya, I mean it. I mean it with everything I have. I'm so sorry” Taehyung insisted with meaning, like he was seconds away from falling apart if you didn't believe him. 

You could hear the sincerity in his words and you could feel how heartbroken he was, but your exhaustion amassed with all the emotions that had been attacking you all week were discouraging you from participating in any conversation right now. 

“You may mean it, but that’s not fixing anything, Taehyung. You really don’t know how it felt to have you ignore me. To see you unaffected by our time apart. It felt like you were pushing me away, like I wasn’t worth your fucking time anymore.” 

“That’s wrong, Jagiya. You are always worth my time.” 

“Then maybe you’re just a contradictive jerk, Taehyung, I don’t know!” You threw your hands up as you broke his hold, turning around vexed. 

"Because one day you're telling me to basically fuck off because you're too busy but the next you're saying I'm worth all your time? Where the fuck was that the last month then? All you had to do was spare me a couple hours a week, just a couple. I wasn't even asking for much, you could've made the time!"

“I'm sorry, okay! I’m a jerk, I get it, but I had a reason! I have a fucking reason but right now I want to apologize and say I'm sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel like that, I’m sorry I neglected you and made you feel alone, I never intended that!” Taehyung sincerely implored, eyes worried and persistent as he reached for you. 

“Then what did you intend? Saying sorry after the fact does nothing. If you didn’t intend to hurt me then what did you intend to do?!”  You shouted, evading his touch again. 

“I was doing it for you! The reason was all for you, for us!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as anger seeped into your blood, unbelieving of whatever excuses you thought he was making up. 

“For me? Us? Really? Wow, did you suddenly quit your job as an idol to become comedian of the fucking year?” You quipped venomously. "How the fuck is you ignoring me for a month 'for our relationship'?" 

Taehyung was trying hard to calm himself down, thinking twice about how he was going to handle this. "Y/N, please, just try to trust me on this." 

You scoffed disbelievingly, shaking your head as you quickly made your way further into the apartment and over to your TV. Taehyung's eyebrows furrowed as he watched you reach towards the shelf underneath it. It was adorned with cherished photos of the people you both held most dear; family, friends, the boys. Most of them consisted of Taehyung entertaining his love for photography, having snapped stunning photos of scenery, people or a combination of both he adored enough to frame. 

But many were of you two, either in front of gorgeous landscapes or adorable candids. You picked up a photograph of you two in Daegu—Taehyung's big arms enveloping yours from behind as you hooked onto them, all smiles in front of his family's strawberry farm after his camera’s timer snapped the photo.

“See this? This is something you did for us, you told me you only take and frame photos of the most beautiful moments in your life, and you gave this to me telling me it was your favourite moment.” You placed the frame down, opting to grab the gray Sherpa blanket off the couch in front of you. 

“This? You got this for me after I was diagnosed with anemia during Christmas and had been shivering for months. You told me not to worry because you’d always keep me warm and whenever you weren’t there I could use this blanket instead, think of it as you. You did that for me.” You disregarded the blanket and held up your wrist. 

“This bracelet? You got it for our anniversary and made it our equivalent of promise rings because you know I hate rings. You even made sure your bracelet matched in a way that other people wouldn't notice and was only special to us." You watched as Taehyung slightly lifted his left hand to look at the mentioned bracelet. "You did that for me, for us.” Tears were brimming your eyes as you spoke, voice growing shaky.

“Taehyung, you did all those sweet and thoughtful things for us, for me. Those are the kinds of things you should be doing, not fucking hurting me by acting like I don't matter to you, making me question everything. What’s wrong with you? How could you scare me like that? Treat me like I’m nothing and say it’s for our relationship?”

“You're not, you're not nothing." Taehyung's voice caught in his throat, trying hard to dry his glassy eyes.

"I get it, Y/N. I fucking get it, what I’m doing right now may not seem as sweet as all those other things, but I promise it’s as thoughtful, it's still all for you. I’m serious when I say that, this is all because I love you. Why can’t you just believe me?” 

"And why can’t you just say what it is? Why won't you tell me? Are you hiding something? Taehyung, what you did felt like anything but love-" 

"That’s not true. The reason is insignificant right now because I didn't mean to hurt you, I’m so fucking sorry.” Taehyung's voice shook with genuity, trying once again to approach you, gingerly, affectionately. 

Your anger couldn’t subside with the way he kept side-tracking, however, your emotions growing erratic again. "Are you kidding me? Insignificant? The reason is the most important! Just tell me, why did you ignore me for an entire fucking month?!” 

"I said it's not fucking important right now. I want to apologize first, I didn’t mean to do it!" Taehyung was desperate to reason, eyes begging you to believe him. 

“It is important! Tell me what you’re hiding.”  

“It’s not important.”

“Yes it is!”

“No it isn’t!” 

“Yes it is!” 

“No it isn’t! I'm trying to earn your forgiveness firs-Y/N, what are you.." Taehyung’s eye widened in shock.  

He couldn't finish his sentence because he watched you grab a cushion from the couch and suddenly launch it in his direction.

"What the fuck? What are you doing?!” Taehyung exclaimed as he dodged, his large hands instinctively catching the object, looking at you like a confused puppy. “Did you just throw that at me?!” 

“I did! And I'll do it again until you tell me what you’re hiding!” You challenged him like a child and started reaching for throwable things. Pens, notepads, books, even a stray plastic water bottle all went hurtling towards Taehyung. 

You couldn’t stop throwing out of frustration, his unfair gift of ambidextrous hands and incredible catching skills making you even more frustrated. 

Did he really have to be made so fucking perfect? 

He continued defending himself from your attacks until he grew annoyed, “For the love of God, Y/N, stop throwing shit! Just put everything down and listen to me, you have to trust me before I can even explain myself!” Taehyung shouted more so with concern for you, dodging a bottle of vitamins. 

Now why the fuck was that just lying around? 

You snorted condescendingly, "Again with that, trust you?" You mocked as the TV remote came into your hand. 

"You know what, Taehyung? Let me explain for you, you’ve just found someone new who's not fucking staff, haven’t you? Our relationship got too difficult and you’ve finally had enough. You’re hiding shit to save my feelings, aren’t you?” You accused him much to your dismay, angry tears pooling in your eyes.

"What-no! Fuck no I would never do or think any of that!" Taehyung vehemently denied, finally having reached you and wrestled you for the remote. He eventually pried it out of your hands, throwing it away and holding your wrists as you resisted him.

 "It’s none of that, alright? I was just so damn stressed and I had way too much work. There’s so much going on, it fucks with me and I didn't want to make you my fucking mental care, unload my idol life crap onto you. You're working just as hard and I didn't want to burden you.”  Taehyung desperately revealed trying to reach you, upset that you could even think such ridiculous, lowly things of him. 

"Don't you dare use work as an excuse. I know you were busy and stressed, but you were making time for everyone else in your life except me. Just say it, Tae. I know you're tired of us!"

"Fucking-Y/N, it's literally not that at all. I was actually busy, okay? What I said is true!" Taehyung pleaded, he knew he was only telling part of the truth, but it wasn't exactly a lie.

"It can't just be that, there's no way. What are you hiding from me? I'm serious, I'll leave this conversation if you don't, I'll leave this apartment if you don't-” 

"No! Just-alright! You really wanna know so badly?” Taehyung inquired rhetorically, his jaw locking. “Fine then. You fucking got found out.” 

You stopped fighting him and blinked, confusion riddling all your features. Taehyung sighed deeply and continued before you could say anything.  

“We got too comfortable, okay? I'm still an idol and our team heard a shit ton of rumours spreading outside the company about me dating someone. They controlled most and knew any remaining ones would just turn into baseless gossip since nobody knew your identity. I’d just get talked about which I didn't care about. But people somehow started finding your face, your name, and your information was spreading fast. Management was scared you'd be made public especially with reporters and cameras so up our asses these days and watching us. I was terrified when they told me. I couldn't let anyone know you, not when they’d do or say shit to you just because we're together… so I had to do something."

Now it was your turn to stand in shock for several seconds, utterly wide-eyed at the bullet you didn't even know Taehyung was keeping from you. 

“What-what the fuck? What do you mean? When did this happen?" 

"The same time I started 'ignoring' you. Nobody pressured me to break up with you, but I was warned to dissolve the rumours asap. I took matters into my own hands by acting the way I did to get people thinking we were either broken up or never dating in the first place. I hated doing it.. but it started working. I didn't want to tell you anything because I knew you'd just say we could solve everything together when we weren't in a position to do so." Taehyung wasn't hiding his clear anguish, upset having to recall his awful memories of the ordeal.

You were still shocked at how little you knew, finding yourself at least understanding of his actions and reasoning, but crossed your mind better ways to have dealt with this; especially ones that didn't entail hurting you.

"But Taehyung, you should've let me known. If you had just told me I wouldn't have gotten hurt like this. Why would you keep this from me?"

"I just.. I couldn't tell you. It felt like I was breaking up with you and I couldn't handle it. Even when I finally had the balls to do it I ended up prolonging because I just got so busy and pushed everything away to focus. I felt like I could deal with it on my own, fix it all by myself. I didn't want to drop this on you when you were busy too." 

You exhaled harshly, hating how unfair this entire situation was. "You could’ve told me with something like this, Taehyung. I can't just let you carry the burden all on your own, this entire problem had to do with me. We promised we wouldn’t keep shit from each other especially considering the circumstances of our relationship. Why would you break that promise?" Your eyes welled up again, inhaling painfully. 

Taehyung paused, scoffing humorlessly. "Yeah? I broke that promise? Jagi...you broke that promise too." 

You blinked again, his eyes piercing yours poignantly as you could only look back at him in defeat. 

He was right. 

He was entirely right, you hid your feelings from him and never told him anything, a clear violation of that promise on your end. But you couldn't let his wrongdoings go either, not on this; the hurt, the doubt, the thoughts he made you think. That pain was making you fall apart and the reality of it all came crashing down on you. "An apology still can’t fix this, Taehyung. I want to go to bed, we'll talk about this tomorrow.” 

You pulled away and moved towards your room until Taehyung rushed in front of you, grabbing onto your arms.

“Wait! This isn’t over, baby please, just listen to me.” 

“It is for today, Taehyung. I can't do this right now.” 

“No, I don’t want tomorrow. I want this now, I want to talk to you now.” Taehyung insisted with what seemed like his entire being. He didn't want to spend tonight like this; he didn't want you to sleep upset, and neither did he. 

“Taehyung, you’re making me repeat myself. Let me go, please. I’m exhausted.” You choked on your words, swiping your tears. 

“No, I told you I’m not fucking letting you go, especially not now.” He gripped you stubbornly, searching for your eyes.

“Taehyung, for the love of God just let me go-”

“I said no!” Taehyung's volume suddenly pierced the room, his intense aura stilling you. 

He didn't sound angry. rather in need, like he was calling out to you with his entire heart and the tight hold on your arms gave it all away. 

You finally decided to pay attention to him. His tone beyond serious, his eyes swimming with worry. His miserable face and refusal to let you go regrettably softened you. You understood him, saw the desperation and concern behind all his actions. 

But he chose to neglect you. He made you feel alone, made you overthink numerous possibilities about your relationship and even question his feelings for you.

"You.." You exhaled with agony, swallowing hard. 

None of this was easy, the nights you spent curled up on the couch overthinking, lying to everyone that you were okay, working in the studio alone to get him off your mind, blaming yourself. The accumulated pain of all those days now manifested in your chest all at once, making your heart ache. 

"You made me feel like I wasn't important to you, like I wasn't worth your time. I.. thought you found someone better, easier.. that I wasn't enough for you." Your voice crumbled by the second, your mind jumping to the one conclusion you tried to avoid the most but couldn't any longer. 

"I thought you weren't in love with me anymore." 

Taehyung's heart shattered into a million pieces, overwhelming hurt piercing his chest so violently that tears instantly betrayed his eyes. 

He couldn't bear any of this anymore, the tension, the distance, couldn't bear that you ever thought such an awful thing. Small tears escaped him as he gently placed his hands on your face, looking into your eyes with insurmountable pain before colliding his lips with yours. 

He kissed you tenderly, passionately, like his mouth was dying to express how much he'd missed you, and trying harder to prove how utterly wrong your last words were. Before you could even reject him, you found your own lips mirroring the same longing, the same need after a painful month apart.

Your eyes fluttered shut as tears stained your cheeks, the sheer love you could feel in his kiss suddenly brightening any parts inside you that had grown dark because of him. He began working against your mouth hungrily, trying to commit every inch of your lips to his memory. 

The kiss was fervent, utterly desperate, your harsh breaths mingling together as his hands on your cheeks wiped your tears away gingerly and yours clutched his hoodie tightly.

It's like he was consuming all of you, attempting to deepen the kiss with every second that passed by as he pulled you closer. And for once this past month, you didn't feel like questioning his feelings for you, because he was now serving them on a silver platter, making it blatantly obvious he had never once lost his love for you and will never do so. 

He kissed you like he wanted you and only you, he kissed you like you were fleeting and could disappear at any moment, he kissed you like you were his home, like you meant any and everything to him, like you were the only galaxy he believed in and it did nothing but set you both ablaze.

His tongue swiped your bottom lip impatiently, wanting to taste you after so long and you permitted absent-mindedly, damning every emotion except love and lust to hell, welcoming him. 

His tongue entangled with yours sloppily as you slid your hands up his sculpted neck, a soft groan escaping Taehyung's lips once you tugged his hair. 

It wasn't until Taehyung caught your bottom lip between his teeth that you felt something ignite inside you. You both panted as you disconnected, gazing at his dark eyes for a mere second before impatiently crashing your mouth onto his again. 

This time you caught him for a heated make out session, pulling his hair aimlessly as Taehyung pressed you against him with his arms snaking around your waist, both of you moving perfectly in sync with one other. The feeling of your bodies so close ignited your arousals, currents running through both your veins.

Taehyung pushed you back against the nearest wall, hard. You nearly yelped at the contact but Taehyung swallowed it with his eager kisses, getting rougher, sloppier, growing high off the feeling of you wanting more, him wanting so much more.

He brought his thigh in between you, pushing his hips against yours and you felt his hardness through his sweatpants. Your panties practically soaked at the contact, your moans devastatingly loud and hot and only making Taehyung harder. 

He brought his hands down to cup your ass momentarily as he kissed you, sliding them to the back of your thighs. You kicked yourself off the ground into his hold, legs grappling Taehyung's waist as he forced you back up against the wall. Your hands grabbed his jaw tightly, wanting all of him as your tongues moulded together. 

Taehyung felt his urges to touch you overwhelm him, utterly dying to hear you desperately say his name and moan breathlessly into his ear. He had gone too long, far too long without feeling you lose yourself to him that he needed you now. 

One of Taehyung's impatient hands moved up to fumble with the button of your jeans, disconneting to look into your eyes, his pink, swollen lips irresistible. 

"Have you been touching yourself?" He breathed hard and asked mere centimeters your mouth, forehead leaning on yours. 

"B-barely. I couldn't get myself off the same way." You exhaled harshly trying to calm down, mind woozy from the sheer adrenaline he was pumping through you. "You?" 

"Tried, but nothing felt like you." 

Taehyung returned his lips to yours breathlessly and unzipped roughly, sliding his hand inside and finding your already sopping wet heat. His fingers made contact through the soaked material and you let out a satisfied moan, throwing your head back against the wall. Taehyung chuckled proudly, pressing his lips to your exposed neck as he began lewdly rubbing your folds. 

Your walls clenched around nothing, begging for something to fill you up. You shamelessly rode against his fingers, desperate for more friction and Taehyung absolutely adored how needy you were. 

He smirked to himself as he pushed your underwear aside, his fingertips suddenly touching your bare pussy and you automatically felt sparks, gasping. 

Taehyung felt your delicious wetness and a satisfied groan left his lips. He couldn’t stop rubbing you, playing with your folds like it was a game he mastered ages ago. His digits spread you all over yourself, teasing you. He purposefully brushed over your clit multiple times and you felt nothing but fireworks, the heat between your legs growing so hot you clutched onto his shoulders to stay sane.

"Fuck.. Taehyung fuck! If you go inside.. I can't.. I'll fucking lose it." You stammered out, trying to relax but Taehyung eyed your panting figure with a smirk so evil you wished he'd just fuck you against this wall right now. 

Taehyung brought his lips to your ear and spoke lowly, the bass in his voice sending chills down your spine. 

"Then fucking lose it." 

Without warning, Taehyung shoved his two fingers inside you, a smug grin decorating his gorgeous face as he watched you nearly cry out, gripping harder into his hair and shoulder for dear life. His fingers began sliding in and out, your walls welcoming him greedily as he pumped you, milking out every beautiful sound you could make for him as he relished in them. 

Taehyung was already the hardest man on Earth, his cock painfully tucked away in his pants and aching to be inside you. You brought your forehead against his for support as he went harder, your breaths melding as you panted fucked out moans from the sheer bliss of his long fingers, just something of his dragging inside you. 

Your body moved up against the rougher thrusts of his fingers, practically fucking you open and the delectable sting certifying you’d lost it for Kim Taehyung. 

You suddenly felt your insides beginning to stir around him and you panicked, not wanting to let go just yet, just on his fingers. 

"T-Taehyung.. shit.. I can feel but- but not just on this." Your head was so gone a coherent sentence seemed impossible. Taehyung's fingers curled up inside you as he pumped a little harder, faster, making you whimper against his mouth and he used every ounce of strength he had not to swallow them with kisses, just so he could hear you. 

"Taehyung, please.." You moaned loudly and held onto him so desperately that Taehyung finally snapped, his dick throbbing to have you wrapped around him and hear his name just like that.

"Fuck this." Taehyung pulled his fingers out and carried you straight into your room.

He threw you down onto the bed hurriedly, his eyes blown out as he positioned himself above you. You breathed unevenly as you looked up at him, his body rising and falling quickly as he tried to control himself and his hungry look made you push your thighs together. 

The sight of your flushed cheeks and panting body underneath him made Taehyung's dominant side thrive. He drank you in greedily, registering this as the first time in a month he had you all to himself. 

"You don't fucking know, Y/N. All those times I had to hold back. When you walked around the studio looking sexy as hell, moving your body like pure sin, and I couldn't do a single thing to you." Taehyung's dark eyes indicated something had awakened inside him.

"What do you mean?" 

Taehyung scoffed, "You just don't get it." He mimicked you from earlier. “I was putting on a front and none of it was true. Every fucking time I saw you I wanted to lose it. Every time I saw you concentrating with that look, working, seeing your exposed skin, all the times I caught you practically eye-fucking me and I wanted to eye-fuck you back." Taehyung breathed out, voicing his pent up tension. 

"But you know what was worse? The times I saw you laughing with fucking Jungkook, screwing around with Jin-hyung, the guys acting so close with you. Watching back-up dancers eye-fuck you, hearing all their fucking comments about how hot you are, people asking if you’re single now, and I couldn't do shit because everyone was always around, watching." Taehyung breathed frustratedly, dangerous eyes locked on you.

"You know I don't get openly jealous, but my blood still boils under my skin when I see or hear those things, especially when I can’t do anything about it. I wanted you.. so badly, just wanted to take you right there in front of everyone if I could.." Taehyung nearly growled as his head hung low, entangling his hands with yours and squeezing them on the bed. 

"Then why didn't you?" 

Taehyung's eyes flashed up amusedly, "Why didn’t-you wanted me to do something in front of everyone?” His confusion softened into a little smirk. 

“You wanted to be watched, huh?" Taehyung lowered himself to your ear.  "Wanted everyone see the way I fuck you? See the way I make you mine? Fuck you open for me?” Taehyung was setting your core on fire and you had to bite your lip. 

He noticed and hated that his lips weren't on yours, quickly planting them for a kiss. 

The weight of Taehyung's leg pushing against your throbbing heat started compromising your sense of control, wanting to rile him up so bad he'll have no choice but to give you what you want. 

"Fuck, this is what I've been waiting for. Teasing you under me, cumming just from my fingers and tongue, fucking you senseless until you’re cumming again." Taehyung's words were filthy as ever and you loved every syllable. 

"Then do it." 

He smiled smugly as his mouth moved to the one spot on your neck he knew leaves you squirming. Curses left your mouth the second you felt his teeth, Taehyung adamant on leaving deep, purple marks. 

“I'm gonna show everyone you're mine, only mine.” Taehyung’s authoritative voice came out breathy as he kissed and bit in between, obsessed with seeing the art he was creating. 

"Shit… Taehyung yes, I missed you, I missed you so fucking much." You desperately stammered out.

"I fucking missed you too, baby." He smiled, his dark eyes glancing from your zip-up sweater and back to you. "But first, off."

Your hands moved for the zipper until Taehyung caught your wrists and forced them back against the bed, obsidian eyes scolding you. 

"That's my job." Taehyung spoke dominantly, hot as fuck as he stared at you while bringing his mouth down to your zipper.

His teeth caught it and slowly zipped down your body, pronouncedly breathing against your bare skin that made you hiss, arching up into him as he held your hands down. 

Taehyung was welcomed by your bra-cladded chest, basking in the glory of seeing your body after so long. He began laying kisses in between your breasts, his every contact electric. 

"Taehyung, please.. don't tease. It’s been so long." 

"We'll see about that."

He reached a hand underneath your back to unclip your bra, practically ripping the clothes off you and chucking them. 

Taehyung was heating up drinking you in, cursing at how even the sight of your naked top was making him somehow harder. 

"Shit, Jagi. You're so fucking gorgeous." Taehyung stated with haste as his large hands found your thighs that rested either side of his hips. He then slowly slid them up your abdomen, cupping your breasts and fingering your nipples. Your hands reached out to hold onto him as you exclaimed but he roughly pinned them above you, restricting you. 

He lowered himself to your chest for hickeys, kissing, licking, nibbling the flesh of your boobs. You arched and groaned as he held you down, sexually frustrated as he torturously teased you. 

"Taehyung, please… you know what I want." You breathed out, your hands resisting but he kept denying you. 

"You’re so fucking hot like this, so impatient and needy for me." Taehyung groaned, lapping his tongue over the flesh of your breasts until the tip of his tongue finally glided over your perched nipple.

You gasped at the contact, whimpering as your walls clenched around something non-existent and you bucked up into Taehyung. You could feel heat pooling at your core, begging to be battered as he sucked on your nipples, tongue doing wonders.  

Marks now embellished your chest as he kissed down to your stomach affectionately and neared your lower half, exciting your opening. 

Your eyes darted down and suddenly caught his length, poking out from his sweatpants and practically begging for attention. 

He instantly took notice. 

"No, princess. It’s about you tonight, not me, no touching." Taehyung ordered seriously, looking at you with a sense of dominance that only left you more aroused. 

You made a whiny noise, "Why not? I want to make you feel good." You retorted, wiggling your hand out to touch him until Taehyung locked you down harder. 

He clicked his tongue as he began pulling your pants and panties down your legs with one hand, his dark eyes chastising you, "We'll get to me another day." He disregarded them and let his hand feel up your thighs, bringing his face to your entrance.  

"But right now, having you like this, begging-” he nipped at your inner thigh, “making those sounds-” he licked the marks, “wet as hell for me-” he sucked your flesh, “that's all I need." His tone dropped an octave, letting your wrists go and nearing your cunt inch by inch. 

"Taehyung, fuck-don't do this. Please, it's been too long, don't tease.." You pleaded, hating the way he was shamelessly working you up.

"Do you need me, baby?" Taehyung watched your breath hitch as he kissed around your nether lips. "Need to feel me inside you? Stretch you out? Fuck the shit out of you?" His low, dark tone made butterflies fill your abdomen and all you could manage was a light nod.

"Tell me, Jagiya. Tell me what you want from me, where you want me.." Taehyung breathed against your soaked pussy and you shivered, beyond impatient. 

"Y-your tongue, your cock, Taehyung, you. Please..I can’t do this.. just fuck me, make me come all over you.." You rambled and looked at Taehyung through hooded eyes. You grabbed one of his hands and brought him directly to your dripping heat, rubbing him against your slit unforgivingly.

Taehyung groaned proudly, "Good girl. I'll fuck you so good you’ll feel me for hours, so hard I’ll have to carry you to rehearsals myself." Taehyung's filthy words rang in your ears. 

A loud moan escaped you once Taehyung's pillowy lips and tongue pressed onto your pussy, your breath hitching as his muscle began licking into your folds. Taehyung hooked onto your thighs from underneath, parting your legs wider for him. Your hands found his broad shoulders for support and you tugged at his hoodie frantically, whining. 

"Taehyung, off.." 

Taehyung drew away from you to slide his top off. He threw the sweater mindlessly as he returned, deciding to sink two fingers inside you as his tongue began licking. His newly exposed skin made you feel more aroused, tugging his soft curls to manage the bliss he was supplying you. 

His tongue licked you like he was starving, sucking and flicking your clit occasionally as his fingers curled up inside your velvety walls. You felt like crying, after such a long time the pleasure was already building up inside you and so intense you needed to let go. 

"Taehyung-Tae.. I feel it. Don't stop..." You moaned weakly, your orgasm dawning on you as Taehyung quickened his pace. His dark eyes watched you through his fluffy fringe and it was intoxicating, had you throwing your head back against the pillow just to contain yourself. 

"Come for me baby, come all over my tongue and fingers. I wanna hear you.” Taehyung cooed at you as he pumped and the tip of his tongue played with your clit faster, soothing your thigh and adoring the wet mess in between you. Your loud moans and groans sent shivers down Taehyung's spine and blood straight to his cock. 

The familiar sensation of something coiling came to you, gripping Taehyung's hair until you saw stars and felt a fierce snap, the unholiest of noises leaving you as your back arched. You panted hard, bringing an arm up to shield your eyes, the pleasure of your high dizzying as Taehyung watched you, tasting and fingering out your orgasm. 

He kissed your entrance multiple times before he decided he was done. He straightened himself up and wiped your juices off his chin, licking your essence off him. Feeling you come undone on his mouth made him go feral, needing to feel your walls hug his cock just the same.

He positioned himself above you, gently moving your arm from your face. 

"Don't hide from me." he spoke softly, intertwining his hands with yours against the pillow to adore your fucked out expression. 

You admired him innocently in the moment, his honey-coloured skin kissed by the moonlight radiating through the windows. The expanse of his broad chest and shoulders looking more bulky now that he was working out, his thick neck, the beautifully visible veins in his arms that all created the art that was Kim Taehyung. 

Your eyes scanned over him greedily until you landed on his lower half, the tent in his pants looking so painful you again ached to relieve it.

Taehyung eyed you as you licked your lips, boldly reaching out for his dick. You touched sparingly, Taehyung instantly letting out a pleasurable groan until he caught your hand.

"What did I say? You never fucking listen, do you?" Taehyung brat-handled you, his alpha male on full display. 

“What if I don’t want to listen?” You disobeyed and reached out again, gaining full contact until he grabbed and forced your hand against the sheets. 

“I’ll make you regret that." 

Taehyung quickly shuffled his pants and boxers down and past his hips, disregarding them and leaving him bare before you. 

Your eyes began ogling the angry, red tipped cock that had sprung out, looking painfully uncomfortable and leaving you wishing Taehyung had just fucked your mouth just watch him suffer. He was already leaking precum, making you whimper at the thought of him coming inside you. 

Taehyung positioned himself in between your legs, bringing his dick to your entrance. He tried to bite away a mischievous grin before sliding his cock against your folds to mix your wetness with his.

"Shit, Jagi, you're so fucking wet." Taehyung moaned with you at the pleasurable feeling. 

"Fuck, Taehyung…I can’t, I need.. inside." Your sentence was mangled, his hot flesh against you heavenly. 

"Shit, saying my name like that..I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll feel me in your throat." Taehyung growled, gripping the base of his cock and aligning himself with your entrance. You readied yourself until Taehyung stopped, a thought suddenly popping into his head. 

"Wait, you got your shot this month, right? You're okay with raw?" He asked with no particular haste, concern glossing over his eyes. 

Taehyung's chest suddenly tightened realizing he didn't even know something as simple as you getting your shot, important to him since your phobia of needles was so bad you usually needed to hold his hand or talk to him on the phone. 

But he was so busy this month he couldn't do either.  

"Of course, Taehyung, of course I did." You breathed out erratically, trying to calm down after his tormenting cock sliding. You gave his hand that held yours against the bed a squeeze, wishing he would begin battering your insides already. 

"Fuck, I know how much you're afraid of needles.. I should've been there." Taehyung became disappointed in himself, eyes faltering from yours. 

You immediately grew soft, "Taehyung.. it's okay, if it's for you then I'm not so scared. Don't worry, bubs." You said as you let go of his hands to cup his cheeks, searching for his eyes. 

"But you get them just for me..even though you're so scared. I love you for that." Taehyung doted on you as he tucked your hair behind your ear, completely contrasting his cock about to abuse you. 

"Taehyung, baby it’s okay, I'm okay. I'm with you right now. I want everything you thought of, everything you want with me… I want you." You looked into his doe eyes tinted with guilt, offering him a smile. 

Taehyung returned a light smile of his own, pressing a feathery kiss to your lips before he grabbed the base of his cock again. He gripped your hand hard as his dick compromised your opening. 

He hissed once he sank in, the feeling of your pussy opening up for him eliciting a drawn out 'fuck' to leave his mouth. 

Taehyung could feel how tight you were after a month without him; you weren't as stretched out and he felt drunk. The way your walls hugged his rock hard dick so snug, so intoxicating he wanted to completely lose control but refrained with you in mind. 

You thought you were used to the pleasurable burn of Taehyung's gifted size, already aware of how well-endowed he is but you suddenly felt a harsh sting and forced your hands against his chest, exasperating. Taehyung immediately stopped, widening his eyes in concern. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Just-just give me a second." He nodded, feeling your breaths calm down as he soothed over your arm, your walls relaxing

"Y-you can move." You voiced weakly. 

Taehyung complied and moved in considerately, failing to suppress the low groans that left him. He finally bottomed out and hit your cervix, both of you letting out satisfied grunts at the feeling of him buried so deep. He could feel the way your walls pulsed around him to adjust, adding to his lists of reasons he was insane for you. 

Taehyung kissed you as he began fucking gently, slowly, wanting to feel the way you wrapped around him, craving for you to feel every inch, groove and vein of his cock. 

The feeling of him slowly and languidly thrusting inside you felt otherworldly, the longing, the care, the love in his movements so apparent you grappled the back of his neck to hug him closer. Taehyung rocked himself against you, laying deep kisses to your mouth.

"Fuck, baby.. you're so tight." Taehyung breathed out, unable to hold back his sense of control, gradually fastening his pace to fuck you better, feel more. 

"How does it feel, princess, tell me." Taehyung cooed into your ear, now kissing underneath your jaw. Your lewd noises grew louder as he began pumping faster and Taehyung looked at you. 

"Shit, Taehyung. I-I feel so fucking good. You fill me up so good… want more.” You practically whined, head spinning at his intoxicating pace, wrapping your legs around Taehyung's torso to feel him deeper. 

Taehyung weakened at the feeling, kissing your lips with fervor and now thrusting faster as his need to come undone racked his balls, but aching to treat you first. His skin was imprinted with your scratches, him only fucking you faster in response. 

"Harder, Taehyung, fuck me harder..!" Your voice trailed with a mewl, kissing him sloppily as your desire for more of him grew unbearable. 

Taehyung smirked against your lips, "You want it harder, huh? You like that? Want me to fuck up your insides? Batter this pussy up?" 

"Y-yes, Taehyung, please." 

Taehyung already felt fucked out, wrestling with your tongue as he wrapped his arms around your torso and pressed you flush against him. You both groaned louder as his pace turned unforgiving, 99% sure your neighbours could hear every lewd sound. 

"Taehyung.. fuck. I missed you. I missed you so much!” You spoke without a thought, light-headed but hyper aware of just how much you wanted him, needed him, not only with his cock buried inside you but just him, so close to you. 

"Shit, baby.. I missed you more. So much. So fucking much, you don’t even know." Taehyung growled desperately as he fucked deeper, kissed harder, his tone coated with sincerity. 

Both your confessions made for rougher fucking, nasty tongue kissing, tighter grasps on each other. You rutted against one another shamelessly, movements faltering in precision and more so in desperation as Taehyung shoved himself inside you. 

And he watched as he did, seeing the way he disappeared into you between your bodies and enjoying the way you bounced in response. 

"Taehyung, fuck, Taehyung.." You moaned out his name breathlessly as you gripped his shoulders, feeling your abdomen flood with heat as his cock kissed your cervix. 

"Jagiya, fucking-watch it, say my name like that again and I'll fuck the living shit out of you." Taehyung warned with a growl as he rammed into you. 

"T-Taehyung.."

“Such a bad fucking girl." 

His arms suddenly locked you down in place, holding you tight as he began the roughest, hardest thrusts you've felt all night. Taehyung deliberately pulled all the way out only to smash back in as he felt your body jerk up in response, swallowing your whimpers.

Your moans were loud, ringing in your own ears as you felt yourself losing your sanity. He snapped into your gut, filled you up so good all you could feel was him. Your orgasm was bubbling in your stomach, begging for release now. 

"Taehyung, I'm gonna- fuck, I'm gonna come!”  You warned him with a pitchy yelp, the tingling feeling unbearable as his body rubbed against your clit. 

"Come for me, baby, all over my fucking cock, Let me feel you." Taehyung encouraged as he desperately tried to hold his own load, wanting nothing but to witness the way you came underneath him.

And out of nowhere your second orgasm washed over you, barely noticing the snap as you ached from oversensitivity and protested him to a halt. Taehyung controlled himself as your walls continuously clamped down on him, watching you pant from fatigue. 

But he decided on your punishment and suddenly flipped you onto your stomach, instinctively settling on all fours as you felt him prod your entrance. He pushed you to arch your back and pulled your ass up, giving a nice smack before kissing up your back like the demon he is. He sank in with no warning and began drilling into you again, setting a merciless pace and angling himself to fuck you completely open. 

“T-Taehyung, what are you doing!”

“You’re coming for me again.”  

“I can’t- Taehyung I can’t!” Your hand quickly came down to entangle with his on your hip, his deft fingers boring into your skin as he mercilessly buried every inch of his cock into you.

“You can do it! Just one more time for me princess, let go for me.” He coaxed you as he felt your walls pulsating around him again, his arms hugging your body to his and mouth breathing unevenly near your ear. 

"Taehyung, Ah- fuck! C-come inside me, please!”

"Shit, I’ll stuff you with my cum, fucking give you my kids!”  Taehyung grunted as he continued bartering your pussy, reaching down to roughly rub your clit. You cried out, half from sensitivity but half from pure pleasure, gripping his hand hard. 

You felt the coil coming back for a third time and Taehyung’s encourgements were doing absolute wonders. "Taehyung-shit I’m gonna..fuck!”

Once he delivered a particularly hard, deep thrust with his hand on your clit, you gasped out his name as another orgasm released through your body, temporarily blinding you with bliss. Your legs grew weak as you buried your face into the pillow, trying to catch your breath. 

“Just like that, baby, just like that.” Taehyung spoke supportively as he thrusted one last time before finally coming inside you, helping you ride out your climax. He groaned into your ear as he spurted hot stripes of cum inside you. You squeezed his hand on your stomach that still held you up, feeling him milk himself of every drop he had racked up just for you. 

Once Taehyung felt completely vacant of his seed, relief washed over him as he kissed your upper back, both of your bodies lax and panting for air. 

"You're amazing." Taehyung tried steadying his breathing, beaming as he hugged you from behind, cock still throbbing inside you. "I fucking… I held that back for so long."  

"You didn’t have to… I would've thrown myself at you if you just came home." You breathed shallowly.  "Could've done whatever you wanted.. I planned...on treating you cause you were so stressed." 

Taehyung rolled his eyes at himself, "Ugh-don’t remind me. I already feel dumb as fuck." 

You turned your head back and scolded jokingly, "Don't call yourself dumb, only I get to say that." A soft giggle escaped him as he let you go. Taehyung slowly pulled out and watched as he did so, viewing the mess in between your legs with admiration. 

Taehyung swiped the cum dripping down your thighs back into your core, completely stuffing you with him until he brought his fingers to your lips. He watched you lick provocatively, his breath hitching at the sight until needing to pull his fingers out. 

He then quickly made off the bed and ambled over to the bathroom, retrieving a damp towel and cleaning you up gingerly. He plopped down next to you after discarding it and threw an arm over his eyes. 

You turned to look at him, feeling the butterflies of him next to you flood your chest. You wiggled closer and propped yourself on an elbow to gaze at him, your other arm laying on his chest. 

Taehyung felt your eyes on him and spoke without looking. "Hi."

"Hi," you moved his arm from his face, echoing him. "Don’t hide from me."

Taehyung grinned at you, lifting his arm. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" 

"Like you're madly in love with me. Don’t do that, I don't really deserve it." He stated dejectedly, evading your eyes to rather view the night sky. 

"Kim Taehyung, what did you just say to me?" 

No response. 

You sighed, "Bubs, look at me." requesting with a softer tone and he returned his eyes to you hesitantly. You wagged your finger at him.

"Don't say that, okay? Maybe you should’ve told me, maybe I should’ve been more vocal about my feelings, maybe we both should’ve just communicated. It's not only your fault, it's mine too so please don't say that." Your bottom lip jutted out and your eyes implored him, upset that he was insulting himself. 

He deserved every ounce of love in this world. 

"Maybe.. I just..Fuck, you need to know I hated doing it, okay? Every time I saw you in that building I was dying to be with you, but I had to hold back to protect you. I couldn’t bear something happening to you, and please, please don’t think I don’t love you anymore. I do, I love you more than you’ll ever know. If I could throw all of this away for you I would." Taehyung spoke sincerely, remembering the way he saw you admit such an awful thought and he hated that he was the cause of it.

"You really don’t know how hard it was. I’m writing lyrics for my mixtape and they all end up about you. We're out at a photoshoot and I always wanted to send you pictures. I didn’t use SNS, call or text you because I knew it’d just be harder for me to create that stupid ass distance.” Taehyung ran a hand through his hair as he sighed, frustrated about it. 

“Even when I was shooting commercials I thought about your reactions if you saw them. I missed you the whole time, more than you know. I just couldn’t risk anything, there was so much on the line with you and I wasn’t going to give you up. Work got in the way and there was so much happening and I just-" 

“Shh shhh.” You calmed him down reaching for his cheek. “Thank you for that. I'm sorry you had to do everything by yourself, had to carry all that responsibility alone." Your lips quivered, catching Taehyung's attention. 

"No, it's okay. I'm the one who made you think all those shitty things. I do find you annoying, but I could never find you that annoying." Taehyung quipped to lighten the mood and you smacked his chest. 

"Hey!" 

"I'm kidding, Jagi." Taehyung chuckled before letting out a long, hard sigh. "I was just so swamped with this comeback, I’m working really hard for it and got too focused." He explained regretfully, tucking his hands underneath his head. 

"So you just thought fuck me for a little while, right?"

"Wha-no I didn't, I mean.. I did just fuck you but-not like that…shit, just come here!” Taehyung suddenly turned onto his side and threw his arms out, you scooted over to him instantly, giggling. He tightly wrapped his arms around you and hugged you close, pressing his lips to your hair and you kissed his shoulder.

Your hand absentmindedly found his and you intertwined them, causing a warm and comforting feeling to spread across your chest. 

You found yourself becoming smaller in his hold, clutching his hand to compose yourself because you didn't feel like ruining a passionate night with tears. 

Nonetheless, Taehyung sensed you growing vulnerable and pulled you on top of him, your naked bodies flush against one another. Taehyung immediately showered you with comfort, clutching you close to him.

"I’m not going anywhere, you’re with me for a lifetime, Jagiya." The smooth bass of Taehyung's voice eased you, reverberating from his chest as he senselessly soothed your back.

"Please, don't do that again. Please just tell me next time when there's a problem, I'll tell you too and we can work it out together." A hint of desperation tinted your tone, shutting your lips together to prevent yourself from crying.

"I won't, baby, I promise." Taehyung hugged you a little tighter, running a hand through your hair. 

"I love you, Taehyung." 

"I love you, Y/N." 

[masterofdeath]

If you willing to elaborate can you talk more on the “sirius loved harry for harry, not because he was using him as a james substitute” like I agree with you 100% and I hate that fandom is thinks that and would to hear you talk about you don’t agree with that idea

"Nice one, James" is the worst line of the movies gang, wya?

I think to sum up the whole of Sirius and Harry's relationship by saying Sirius was merely transferring his feelings for James to him is completely reductive, and misses out on huge beats of their interactions. Sirius is who Harry seeks out when he is feeling most insecure, and almost always he manages to ground him in his read of who Harry is and what Harry should do in steps forward.

-- His guidance during the Triwizarding Tournament is essential, and his protective stance of Harry after the final task also displayed a level of paternal care that I am not sure Sirius necessarily felt toward James. In fact, I would say that James was typically the 'fixer' within that dynamic. At ground level, Sirius couldn't confuse the two because James and Harry have fundamental differences but when you add a more parental streak between the two it shades one of the most important relationships in Harry's life, and I don't understand why people itch to take that away from him.

The James/Harry comparison come out in canon in two ways: when Molly is trying to get Sirius to back off ( because she is protecting Harry in her own way ), and when Sirius -- in the depths of depression -- is trying to guilt Harry into action. This is not indicative of their true relationship.

What I would say does sum up how Sirius related to Harry would be in their last interactions with each other. Upon his arrival to the Department of Mysteries, he praises Harry, he encourages Harry, he makes sure Harry feels safe; and then he immediately tries to find Harry a safe exit. Sirius' belief in Harry and his mindset of how involved Harry should have been in the planning surrounding the war never diminished his protective nature over him.

People forget that Sirius broke out of Azkaban because he was afraid Harry was in danger. People forget that his first act in freedom was to try and steal a glance of the little boy he missed out on watching grow up. The real tragedy in Harry and Sirius is that they both wanted him to hold a more permanent spot in Harry's life, as Harry's guardian but that was stolen from them. Making it about anything else is an insult to two generations of relationships.

[elysianslove]

Here to ask- could you rank the jjk boys on terms of kinky to vanilla ;) Also love your 🍆hcs I definitely would not be complaining if you said more 🤭... ♡♡

*dice rolls* sure thing shawty 😩 also thank you so much omg. i got another request for a dick analysis so 😼

for this, i basically explained each of the boys, then ranked them at the end! 

JJK BOYS: A SCALE OF VANILLA TO KINKY 

itadori yuuji 

he’s somewhere in between! yuuji is curious enough to be considered kinky, but also he’s so loving that vanilla generally is his go to. not that vanilla can be a bad thing, because sex with yuuji, even if he’s not tying you up or spanking you and is just simply fucking you in missionary, is mind-blowing good. he never really is the one to initiate kinky things, or to ask to incorporate new things in the bedroom, but he’s always a hundred percent on board with anything you ask, no matter how extreme, even if he’s on the receiving end. maybe he’ll be the one to ask for things like “can i choke you?” or “can i blindfold you and use this toy on you?” but the hardcore shit has to come from you. it’s not entirely shyness, but there’s some of that too. he’s just generally new to sex, so even though he obviously has kinks he wants to try out, he sees sex as a way to pleasure both you and him, and that’ll be his main drive. if you want to add to that somehow, there’s absolutely no problem! 

fushiguro megumi 

oof he was a little tricky. i think he’s also somewhere in between, but definitely leaning way more towards kinky. like if it was a number scale, 1 being really vanilla and 10 being really kinky, megumi would be a good 7 or 8. it’s always the quiet ones. i think, at the start of your relationship, and when things start to get a little more intimate, he’s more vanilla, just cause he doesn’t wanna accidentally cross a line he hadn’t known was there. but as he gets more comfortable with you, he’ll definitely start asking you to change things up a bit. he’d do it cautiously though, cause what he’ll ask of you are either extremes, or kinks that have a high chance of you saying no, like pet play, or pain play. he’s definitely into dom/sub dynamics, and he’s a switch so, if you can also help him play out both roles, he’s in heaven. this was not an ask about his kink can i stay on track smh. but yeah, megumi’s definitely kinkier than he is vanilla, especially as your relationship grows and the level of comfort and trust between you does as well. 

gojō satoru

do i even have to. he’s so kinky it’s off the scale. he’s always trying out new things. start, middle, end of the relationship doesn’t matter. maybe he’s romantic on your first time. genuinely though, he’s very kinky, and is open about it too. here’s a twist though, i actually think he’s capable of being vanilla, but on very specific occasions. if you ask him, he’ll be a little shit about it, teasing you the whole time. but sometimes, he prompts it, and it’s usually when a mission goes wrong, or if something goes wrong and you nearly get hurt, or you do get hurt, and valentine’s day cause like. obviously, in his words. also gojō’s kinky in the sense that sex with him is always exciting and new, so while he’s not always incorporating extremes, he might just grab his blindfold and put it on you once, or mid-sex he’ll ask you, “wonder if i can make you cum on command,” or something of the sort. also. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. gojō probably has a piss kink im so sorry. 

nanami kentō

mostly vanilla. accidentally kinky. sex is something very important to nanami, something so intimate and special, something he wouldn’t share with just anybody, so most of the time it’s just that, a chase after your pleasure and his. but he is like, accidentally kinky sometimes, especially when he’s angry. he’ll be extra rough, practically using your body to chase after his own high, degrading and humiliating you, you know how it is. so essentially, he’s vanilla, with a hint of kinky that’s unlock-able during certain situations. but! just cause he’s vanilla doesn’t in no way mean you will be able to walk the next day, because you won’t. trust. 

ryomen sukuna 

this one’s weird cause, sex is traditional with him, but also it’s really, really not? like he has sex for the pleasure and he fucks to fuck, and he thinks things like toys or bindings or roleplay and he doesn’t like wasting time edging you or going all out with scenes, but he is kinky in the sense that there is huge power dynamic going on between you, or that he loves to see you cry, or that he loves to see you writhe in pain, or that he loves to call you the nastiest names. so like, he’s kinky, but that’s because that’s just who he is. it’s his personality projecting sexually, you get me? sukuna acting differently or weirdly would be him being vanilla, him being soft. (he is, very, very, very rarely). but does that make any sense? so yeah he’s kinky, but not for any other reason than him displaying his personality traits sexually. 

getō suguru

oof he’s so kinky. will put you on a leash and take you out if you let him, honestly. the thing is, he’s so subtle about it. it’s not that he’s private, he’s just really fucking subtle that sometimes he’ll be the one with the kink but it will seem like it’s you? somehow? manipulative bastard. he’s also so suave and cool about how kinky he is too. like he wants you in a collar kneeling before him, but he’s acting like it’s the most natural thing ever? like that’s just how everybody gets off? idk he’s hella kinky but seems so vanilla and for that reason we should all be scared. or aroused. both. 

inumaki toge

not so much kinky as he is open and adventurous, but also like, not exactly vanilla either. he definitely has a freaky and nasty side to him, but he’s not itching to live out those fantasies. i don’t think they’re so extreme either though, like it’s different and nontraditional, and they’re certainly kinks, but he’s not gonna suspend you mid air with a vibrator attached to you. but will he force orgasms out of you with his technique till it’s borderline painful? absolutely. honestly, toge’s leaning more towards vanilla than kinky, just cause yeah he’s for sure open to try out things, but he himself doesn’t really have anything too extreme to try out or in mind, you know? idk he’s always so difficult for me to figure out im sorry. 

todo aoi

idk man he just. fucks cause. yk. sex! i think if you ask him to choke you he might be genuinely so shocked, and that’s one of the most common kinks out there. he does seem like he’d be into pet play though, maybe, possibly. but genuinely i don’t think there’s an ounce of kinkiness in him. sex with him leaves you braindead for sure, and yeah of course there’s the whole size kink and stomach bulge thing going on, but he just. you know. he’s a basic bitch. a basic bitch with a monster fucking cock though. 

fushiguro toji

it’s kinda like the sukuna thing. it’s just his personality. so i guess he is kinky, but like. what else would you expect from someone like him? *a sexy ass dilf like him? so something like a power kink or a size kink is obvious, of course he’ll get off on that. but also, separate from sukuna, i think he does have so many kinks that are separate from his personality projecting, things like orgasm denial or breeding or! his weird obsession with sex toys. plugs you up after cumming inside of you and makes you go out like that, cause you know, he’s an asshole. 

mahito 

kinkiest fucking person. or curse. he can alter his body. he can alter his body. can you imagine the shit he’d do to you with that? obsessed with sex toys, any form of orgasm play, denial or overstimulation, will suspend you mid-air with some toy attached to you, is an exhibitionist, would love to have a gang bang, praise, degradation, cum play, literally anything and everything you can fucking imagine. he’s like gojō but nastier and unhinged. a menace to society in every way, but at least he’s pretty and giggles cutely. 

ranking time! from vanilla to kinky, we have 

1. todo aoi 

2. nanami kentō

3. inumaki toge

4. itadori yuuji

5. ryomen sukuna 

6. fushiguro toji

7. getō suguru 

8. fushiguro megumi 

9. gojō satoru  

10. mahito