#and also the girl that gives us memorial quests

[femonologue]

Many years ago, I was wandering around downtown Ottawa with my best friend. We ran into a friend of his who offered us some hash (it sucked), then said there was a really good house party nearby if we wanted to go. We were like, yeah, sure. So that's how we ended up at some completely fucking random person's house.

I look around to ask if my friend knows anyone here and he's simply gone, as is his friend. And this isn't some red solo cup hangout; this is a party. There's people counting out pills on the kitchen counter. I am clearly neither as cool nor as drug-savvy as the kitchen people, so I back away and instead wander aimlessly into the living room, which seems to give off more of a chill vibe.

A bunch of people are seated in a circle on the floor. One of them is fiddling with a big wad of newspaper or something. A really cute grunge girl with piercings and tattoos scoots aside to make room for me, so I sit down.

"What's that," I ask her, gesturing at the newspaper wad.

She gets a really big smile on her face. You know the smile. It's the I'm About To Watch This Innocent Soul Get High As Fuck smile. "You've never smoked a tulip?"

"What's a tulip?" I ask.

"It's like if a joint was also a bong," she replies. "You gotta try it."

"Alright," I reply, a little uncertainly. This will not be my first encounter with weed. I am more comfortable with the janky newspaper bong than I am with whatever the fuck is going on in the kitchen. Besides, this girl is really cute and I would like to have a friend here now that my existing friend has turned into vapor or been transported to the Upside-Down or whatever the hell happened to him.

I watch as one person holds the newspaper joint-bong upright and holds a lighter over the top while another gets beneath it, tilting their head back to take a puff. Apparently smoking this Cheech & Chong monstrosity is a two-person job.

"Oh," I say, looking at the fist-sized knob at the top of the wonky newspaper joint. "Yeah, it does kinda look like a tulip." Grunge girl smiles at me.

I watch as the tulip is passed around the circle, along with the lighter, and hits are cooperatively taken. It reaches grunge girl, who takes a huge puff and holds it for an extended moment before exhaling an impressive blast of smoke. She smiles expectantly and holds the tulip up for me, preparing to spark the gigantic meteor of dank that makes up its tip. By this point I have completely forgotten about my missing friend. I only care about making a good impression on grunge girl. I tilt my head back and hit the tulip like a smokestack.

It is the following morning. I am sleeping between a couch and a wall. I'm not positive that this is the same house I was just in. My memories are gone. Someone is yelling at me: "dude! Dude! Wake up, dude!"

I sit up. My mouth tastes like cigarettes. I do not smoke cigarettes. "Wha," I ask the yelling man, who I am quite confident I have never met before in my life.

"We're going on a quest," he tells me, gravely. "You have to come with us."

I look around. Neither my friend nor his friend are anywhere in sight. I also do not see grunge girl anywhere. I shrug helplessly. "Okay."

We embark from this house. I learn that the destination of this quest is Tim Horton's. This is a relief to me, as coffee and a donut sounds really fucking good right now. Somehow, the route to Tim Horton's takes us past the Governor-General's residence, which everyone else in the group loudly heckles on the way past. I do not know what the Governor-General has done to raise their ire, nor do I particularly care. I trudge along with my hands in my pockets, pleased to note that I still have my wallet, phone, and keys. I fervently wish that I could remember anything about last night. Maybe I talked to grunge girl. Maybe she's why my mouth tastes like cigarettes. The tulip tasted nothing like cigarettes.

I am asked about my politics. I voice my frustrations with corporate corruption, the pay-to-win electoral system, the lack of transparency and accountability. This is met with great approval. The guy who was yelling at me claps me on the back. I get the impression that we became friends last night. I don't recognize his face. I do not know his name and he definitely does not know mine. I behave as though we're friends anyway. We are comrades on a quest.

By the time we make it to Tim Hortons, the gaggle of stoners I'm walking with have all run out of energy and/or attention span. People order snacks and break away in pairs or solo, to call for rides or plan the day's events or just vegetate and wait for the drugs to leave their systems. I look around and find that my nameless friend has also gone to the Upside-Down. As I wash the cigarette taste out of my mouth with coffee, I unsuccessfully try to remember whether I saw grunge girl smoking tobacco at any point. I remember nothing. That tulip was so fucking powerful that it instantly sent me a whole day forward in time.

Alone in the city, I try to call my best friend and get no answer. I walk to the nearest bus stop, catch a bus most of the way home, and call up my parents to ask for a ride back. They ask where my friend is. I tell them that I have no idea; we went to a house party and I don't remember anything else.

When they pick me up from the bus station, they ask me some very safe, nonspecific questions, and seem to relax when I describe what little I can remember. It isn't until years later that I realize they were probably terrified I'd gotten rufied or something, and were so relieved to learn otherwise that they didn't even bother chiding me for smoking myself unconscious in an effort to impress a strange woman. In any case, they were probably happy to find out that I did, in fact, like girls; I suspect they had been privately wondering whether I was gay.

After getting home, I finally manage to get my best friend to answer his phone. I discover that he tried the kitchen pills, spent most of the night crossing the entire city on foot, and crashed at his cousin's house. He sounds like shit. I tell him that he should have tried the tulip, instead. He fervently agrees with me.

I never see grunge girl again.

That's okay, though. She got to see a clueless stranger get fucked the entire way up on some ungodly strain of giga-weed, and I got smiled at by a cute girl, and then I got to go on a quest. Wherever grunge girl is, I hope she's happy. I hope she's smoking the fattest fucking blunt and smiling as some kid passes out behind a couch.

[ancientnapdragon]

hello scum villain fandom. i finished these silly books like two months ago and have been rotating them in my mind since then.

ANYWAY, i've come to propose a fun AU from my brain: Shen Yaun 'Food Peak' Lord. >:) (please excuse any typos i'm on my phone)

This is a Scumcum AU cause I decided that SJ is like my fave and I wanna see him get wifed up. Does he deserve it? No. Will this stop me? Also no.

So, slap cut to SY and he's suddenly like waking up the day after being chosen as a Sect disciple. He's like 13 and really confused and something feels... kinda wrong! It's like he has all these swiss cheese spots in his memory and he feels like he should be alarmed he's not in his own bed! But, he also IS in his own bed? What's his problem? SY is still 100% a transmigrator but since he's in a kid's body his memories are like half on lockdown. He remembers a few things but not much. The System shows up and seems just as surprised as this turn of events as he is, sort of analyzes a while, then ends up making him think (by accident) it's some like Guardian Family Spirit who is there to guide him.

In truth, the System is trying to find the best route to get the story on track within it's programming. This is NOT what it's assignment was supposed to be! Ugh!

SY has now been shuffled into what is basically an OC so it more or less just looks like him from his old life, not that he is aware, except as a kid. Everyone calls him Kong Yuan (name pending) (also I'll keep calling him SY for this to make it easier) and he was just taken into the lower Peak in charge of Food, Wine, and Elixirs. Of course this is like, with it's own special PIDW twist so everything is cool and magic. Without any real ideas on what to do otherwise, and feeling like this is Right, he throws himself into learning stuff about the Peak. He was a lazy Millennial rich boy in his last life so he's, like, kind of a SHIT COOK. That's on top of being kind of just bad at the type of physical cultivation needed for this Peak!

While highly specialized, the people on (Food) Peak are certified badasses in their own right, even if it's not in like a proper fight. You got people dipping arms and torsos in boiling oil, doing all sorts of fancy knife tricks with qi, tearing whole large beasts apart for processing; the Peak Lord and SY's new Shizun had some giant metal ladle that's twice as long as herself and looks like it weights more than a building. She's built and buff and uses this thing effortlessly to stir this giant cauldron in the center of the Peak that is as big as a house. It's a smaller Peak but always a flurry of activity! The System, deciding it will at least try and work with this, starts giving SY Taste Points as he improves. Occasionally, it will even give him little quests for bonus points! Usually it's for meeting new people, at the start, or learning certain techniques on his Peak. He notices that he usually get these 'Meet x Person' quests when on other Peaks, though... like that really sad looking but polite boy on Qiong Ding, the sort of nervous and mousy kid from An Ding, the sharp tongued girl from Xian Shu- even the real scary guy from Bai Zhan! Then after he gets those quests done, they always turn into a 'Befriend X Person' quest after... which is way harder but rewards more T Points!

(DID YOU THINK THIS WAS JUST A PEAK LORD AU BTW? NO NO NO! IT'S ALSO A QING DISCIPLE AU! HA! >:D) But why does he even WANT the T Points? Well, Guardian Spirit/System says it will provide him special memory rewards! SY rationalizes this as thinking he's receiving visions from a past? future? reincarnation of himself, which the System does not correct. It's usually smaller things about his old life, with the real important stuff all locked away behind higher and higher Points. The System will also provide him with small boosts to his palate (his was quite shit) and sometimes even... cookbooks! Part of being a Food Cultivator is enhancing your QI and Spiritual Veins by eating food that is both delicious as well as Spiritually Enhanced. This isn't just cooking in the kitchen with mama time, this is an ART. Only the best of the best have the refined palate, knowledge base, and skills to make their own recipes. It's fairly common on the Peak for the Masters to work for YEARS to try and make SOMETHING of their own they can be proud of! When SY is like 15, enough time to get to know his fellow (future) Peak Lords, he gets a special quest: [ BECOME HEAD DISCIPE ]. For the first time, THIS quest has a time limit (two years!), and the System warns him of graaaaaave consequences if he is not able to do so....

This lights a fire under his ass a bit and makes him panic! See, SY has all these cookbooks from the System, and he can even make some of the recipes! But most of them ask for all these ingredients he FEELS like he should know but he's never really heard of.... And some of the techniques are so strange, too! The System offers him a special upgrade (for what is, at the time, probably almost all this T-Points): A taste-alike Beastiary!

So, Ancient China did not have a lot of modern fruits and veggies from around the world. PIDW? Aside from a few things ones cause Airplane was a hack writer, mostly the same! But you know what PIDW does have? Lots of weird demons and animals and spirit beasts and flowers. The next time SY looks at a cookbook he will see little (???) next to the stuff he doesn't recognize. But also! There was this one recipes he wanted to make, and he had everything except for ONE thing to make it, and it has a (Inferno-Harpy-Vulture Egg) next to it. So! It shows him stuff he can SUBSTITUTE! Provided... he knows the name of the plant or animal already....

SY had always had a passion for the weird beasts and creatures he sometimes saw, but no reason to act on learning more since he was so busy.... but with this he can totally indulge! AND it will help him with his goal! Double win!

At some point in all his fumbling, he makes better connections with the Future Peak Lords, gets a reputation as being very reliable and kind (if a bit danger prone and sharp tongued at times), and is earning the attention of his buff Shizen. After getting a lot of T-Points, he manages to uncover some of the more expensive Memories....

Which warn him of a cruel villain named Shen Quinqui. An abusive man who was just the worst! Basically, all the stuff SY thought he knew about him in SV. AND the guy was gunna cause the world to end or something? UGH! Why didn't anyone DO anything about that guy in the future? :( The System says he's not allowed to tell anyone, but if he keeps working, maybe he can change Fate! Now, you're probably like 16 paragraphs into this and like 'okay, this is all super cool and you're really smart. but where is SJ at???' Well, he is HERE!

See, while SY had been to Qing Jing Peak multiple times, he's never actually got a Quest to meet anyone from there which is super weird! But he's called over there to act as a chef for a few weeks because one of the guys who usually does it is on some mission. He decides to scout out the Peak while he's there and see if he can find anyone named 'Shen' who might be the evil guy in the future.... [Mission: Meet Xiao Jiu] suddenly pops up from the System! And SY tries VERY HARD to do so! Every day he goes to work at QJ, he never meets anyone he doesn't already know. Sometimes, he hears rumors about a new kid who the Peak Lord took in and the rumors sound NASTY about him. He's only 15 (just a bit younger than SY by like a season or two!) and the guy is said to have murdered people, slept with prostitutes, perved on the girl's in their dorm there, (probably) was actually a real demon.... and was just a huge asshole. But, eventually, SY does end up meeting this mystery Xiao Jiu! He's done in the kitchen for the night and finished cleaning with the other cooks when he remembers he left something there. Going back, he finds this real skinny and lanky guy in the kitchen picking through whatever was leftover in there (not much). He's real cagey and looks ready to beat the hell out of SY for coming in there; but also like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't do. They sort of stare at each other a bit before SY hesitantly introduces himself and the guy basically runs off through the back. Rude! [Mission Complete: Meet Xiao Jiu] [Mission: Befriend Xiao Jiu]

The guy didn't even SAY anything, though! And he seemed like he wanted to beat him up! System, that doesn't seem FAIR! But... SY really wants those T Points for more future memories to try and stop whatever bad stuff is going to happen in the future, so...

Just trying to find Xiao Jiu ends up being a huge problem in of itself! This is a whole Peak and SY is mostly just here to act as a chef for a few hours in the evening. The guy never comes in and gets food, either! Does he only eat the stuff that's left in the kitchen after? But they always clean up really thoroughly so there isn't much left... and he had looked really skinny....

SY starts staying over past everyone else and leaving some extra buns and stuff he saves from dinner on the counter. Except, he gets in trouble after a day or two because the Morning Chefs had come in to find the food left there all night. Was the guy not taking it?

Eventually, he gets the idea to leave the food but... hide it. For some reason it reminds him of hiding a treat from a cat to make it want the treat more. It... sort of works? Usually only one of the buns is missing instead of the multiple he hides. But! Hey! At least the guy got some food!

Things go on like this for a while, until one night when he's heading back to his Peak, he gets sideline kicked into a dense copse of bamboo along the path. And the guy is standing over him with a sword (not a Spiritual one, but still really sharp!) at his throat. And demanding to know what SY is trying to do by leaving him food.... AAAAND I think this is long enough. For NOW. I'll write more on it when I have some time!!! My big wants is basically Feral Angry Cat SJ being slowly socialized to like the one (1) guy who keeps feeding him. They're gunna be BESTIES! (And SY just TOTALLY doesn't feel weird about thinking his best bro is pretty! That's, like super normal!)

I'm sort of half vomiting all my ideas out of my brain but also half writing a bit of a rough outline for a future fic i want to write. If this inspires you in some way, though, feel free to write stuff! Just tag me! I WANNA SEE!!!! >:)

If you have any questions or anything feel free to reach out! I wanna expand more on the Cookbook and the Food Quest and like, how SY would befriend the other Future Peak Lords. Plus, I have a really evil idea for the System to try and force the plot back on the rails later on hehe.

Ty for reading my rambling ilu <3

[nerinefy]

FOREVER YOURS, TRULY...! — NEW YEAR'S SPECIAL PART I

PART II — JING YUAN (TO BE FOLLOWED)

★ synopsis: during a stroll, you find yourself facing him- the love of your life, down on one knee as the clock strikes 12 and the striking lights of the fireworks dance across the sky. despite the blaring noises heard in the background, there is only one thing you hear, "will you be with me? now and forever...?"

★ details: pronouns: you/yours | imagine | fluff | 700+ words

★ DAN HENG ★

You and the Astral Express Crew decided to visit Aurum Alley for their latest festivities for the new year. Due to all the stellaron catching and unrelated side quests along the way, you have never had the chance to explore the rich variety of goods sold throughout the market. Holding hands, you and Dan Heng went and strolled through the bustling streets. It was still quite a gentle and intimate moment despite the rush the alley was filled with. It wasn't often you two had the time to loosen up and think about each other's warmth and presence.

"Oh look, I've been meaning to try those new snacks they have at Tall Auntie's!" March 7th, who in fact was also there the whole time, informed the two of you. "I'll go buy some so sadly I'll have to leave you two here. I mean, not that it's your losses..." She grinned and winked at the two of you while pointing finger guns. "So am I coming or...?" Caelus asks. The pink-haired girl stared at him, annoyed before grabbing his hand with a tug, "we'll be off then," she said as they slowly disappeared into the crowd. In turn, Dan Heng sighed at the two's antics but then turned his face to look at you, squeezing your hand slightly.

With a deep breath, he asks, "Would you like to go somewhere?"

You tilt your head, "Why? Where? And uh...aren't you forgetting the-"

"Do you trust me?" he interrupts the string of thoughts you're blurting out in confusion.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, "I guess they're fine on their own. The blind leading the blind."

He chuckles lightly, "They'll be Welt's problem now sadly." He then leads you towards a secluded place up and near the beautiful shimmering skies.

"Woah, where did you find this place? The view's majestic!" You ask in astonishment, your eyes shining even brighter than the stars above.

"I think I've seen this place somewhere in his memories, and I thought I'd like to show it to you too..." He answered, his eyes wandering towards the sky. "I just realized that...all of these missions we go to...it was just- it was different..." He begins. "Right after you came and traveled with us...everything changed. You gave me more purpose in this life and I'm so grateful for the color you've spread in this world, in our world. Dire situations still give me hope and unwanted circumstances still give me the push to go on...all because of you. Going through all these expeditions and knowing you're there by my side, fills me with ease I've never felt before. You gave me a new home, a place of serenity and security...all in your arms. I know I've been blabbering too much, so I'll stop and get straight to the point..." He says as he slowly gets down on one knee, revealing the small velvet box he's been holding onto the whole time. Sweat dripped down his forehead and his palms began to get shaky despite the snow falling around you- that's the effect you have on him. You gasp as you realize, tears forming in your eyes. "I may not promise forever, but 'til the end of our lives...may I be yours and will you be mine?"

You then grabbed him by the collar to lift him and kissed him, lip to lip, skin to skin, as the fireworks began shooting up to the sky. "I don't want to spend the new year with you." You mumble in between kisses, the man in front of you then wrinkles his forehead in disappointment. "I want to spend my whole life with you..." you giggle as he sighs in relief.

"Happy New Year, my love..." he mutters, a faint blush tainting his pale skin. Click You look from the sides in surprise as you see the crew standing in awe.

"Sorry Dan Heng, we couldn't help it! We just had to..." March 7th says, still holding the camera up near her eye, and Caelus smiling at the two of you.

"Congratulations...I hope we still see you two after the wedding," Welt says while giving you a nod of approval.

"I hope not to see you all after this..." Dan Heng sighs, hiding a chuckle under his breath. With that, you feel a squeeze on your hand once more, and you're reminded that you're not alone anymore. He's forever yours, truly.

©nerinefy 2023-2024 all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate.

[thevillainswhore]

Spoiled and stuffed

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: Bucky surprises you with a gift on your birthday.

Warnings: Smut (use of a d-ildo fem receiving, c-lit play, a little exhibitionism/mirror kink?), established relationship, Bucky is a warning himself, okay?

A/N: Beta’d by @lunarbuck - thank you so much my love, especially on such short notice 🥰 dividers by @saradika, also wanna give a special thank you to @flordeamatista for helping me with the colouring of my moodboard and in general being so supportive 💗

A little something for one of my nearest and dearest 🥰

You dig through your wardrobe, hair styled to absolute perfection, and make-up flawlessly applied to compliment your features, searching through your clothes to figure out the perfect outfit to go out tonight. Why?

Because it is your birthday.

Bucky refuses to let you stay in tonight, already having treated you like a queen for your special day with numerous gifts and loving gestures throughout the day. A gorgeous breakfast spread put together by him to kick off, with an extra surprise of you spread over the table for seconds.

It’s fair to say he has gone all out.

The result of your gifts from him means a mountain of new stuffies are now placed carefully into their respective homes in your shared room, chocolates overflowing your sweet stash, and an overwhelming amount of love in your heart for your man, who’s been making sure he doesn’t fall short of making you happy.

You love him with your whole heart. Birthday or not.

Hearing the door open, you know Bucky is now in the room with you, not thinking to take any notice as he’s probably just coming in to check how you’re getting on.

So, as you stand in only a towel, trying to mentally match colour choices and style options, you’re too focused on your current task to see the glint of mischief in Bucky’s eyes as he walks further into the bedroom.

Already dressed in his signature combat boots and leather jacket with all-black jeans and tight shirt fit - an outfit he knows you go crazy for - Bucky can’t help the predatory glare he pins onto you as he gawks at the fabric of your towel inching up your thighs. He honestly can’t get enough of them - marks from a week ago still staining your skin, placed there from your wild night that the thought of still makes a shiver run down his spine.

Wanting to update him to make sure he knows you're not going to be late for your reservation at the restaurant you’ve been gushing about for so long, you slightly turn your head over your shoulder - not enough for him to totally come into view - and tell him, “Hi baby! I promise I’m almost done, just gotta find something to wear and then I’m ready!”.

Bucky’s been crazy for you all day. Never mind that he wants to treat his girl on her birthday - he’s ravenous for you all the time, and now that he’s got a little extra surprise for you, he’s excited to see your reaction.

He wants you. Bad.

And he’s gonna have you.

Unaware of the tension in the room, you carry on with your quest, even without a response to you, too busy with your clothing dilemma to question your boyfriend’s antics and unusual silence. You want to pick the perfect outfit to look pretty for him after all.

Soon enough though, you're snapped out of your concentration when a sudden screech from behind you startles you enough to stop you from what you're doing and look towards the sound, only to see Bucky dragging one of your wooden chairs across the floor in your direction.

His azure eyes, fixed intently on you, never leave you as his combat boots, that hold vivid memories of you riding them, thud menacingly against the floorboards, moving closer as he doesn’t say a word.

The dead silence has the hairs on the back of your neck standing up, anticipation bubbling inside of you with the arousing fear of the unknown.

Once it seems Bucky’s happy with the placement of the chair, he walks around to the front, eyes still never leaving you as he slowly sits down and spreads his thighs, licking his lips and finally speaking for the first time since he came in.

“Come here.”

It’s simple. Yet, the authority lacing his gravel baritone has your whole body on edge, hands already trembling at his deep voice and allure that’s screaming at you to do as he says.

You still can’t help but question the meaning behind his aloofness, stuttering with nerves, “B-Bucky? What’s g-going on? What-“

“I said - Come. Here.”

You gulp.

You know that tone of voice. You know what it’s led to before.

Clarity soon hits you. The look in his eyes, the tightening of his fists against his thick thighs, deliciously wrapped in denim that strains against him. It finally makes sense.

He’s going to turn you into his ruined little mess.

Taking careful steps towards him, nervous and aroused for whatever is about to happen, your legs feel like jelly as you walk to what you know will soon turn you into a puddle, knees almost buckling with each timid tip-toe in his direction.

As soon as you’re in between his legs, Bucky smooths his huge, calloused hands over the back of your thighs, going slightly under the towel to feel the crease of your ass as he grips the meat of your legs, groaning at your soft, smooth skin and the scent of your lotion applied after your shower.

Before you can even process it, Bucky yanks the end of your towel, your breath hitching as it drapes down your body, revealing your naked form.

“Bucky!”

Your shriek goes ignored as Bucky licks his lips, eyes taking in every single delicious inch of you as he slowly runs his thumbs over your hips. The cold air hardens your nipples, heightening their sensitivity.

Did he just growl? You swear he did.

Oh, you’re gonna be so fucked.

Literally.

Turning you around and gripping your bare waist to bring you down and make you sit on his lap, you can’t help the way your chest heaves as he brings your legs over his, forcing them wide by intertwining his boots between your feet - your cunt open on display for him and him only.

You’re already panting as Bucky starts to kiss all over your neck, hands smoothing over your thighs as you feel the rough denim of his jeans against your silk-smooth skin.

It’s torture not togrind your clit against the rough texture.

A violent tremor stuns your body as his deep timber ripples through your ear. “Daddy’s got another present for you, baby girl.”

Your whines are music to Bucky’s ears. He adores how worked up he’s got you already, but he doesn’t plan to stop there.

This is just the beginning.

Reaching around, somewhere you don’t see as your eyes are already half shut in apprehension for the pleasure you know he’s about to bring you, an extra weight added to Bucky’s already huge hands brings you back down to earth a little.

“Look, sweetheart.”

You do as you're told, slowly bringing your gaze down to see what’s in his hand. An unexpected moan bursts out of you at the thick, long piece of silicone he’s holding.

“You like it, baby? Daddy had it specially made, just for his birthday girl - look familiar at all?”

Of course it fucking did.

The recognisable girth. Veins bulging down the shaft that you loved to lick and tease. The unmistakable length that hit spots no one else had ever before. Even the colour was perfect - a pink tip rounding the whole look perfectly.

An exact replica of Bucky’s cock.

“Fuck.”

You can practically feel the smug smirk on the bastard’s face, too dumbed out already to call him out for his wickedness.

It’s sinister, the grin that crosses Bucky’s face. He’s proud of how well his gift has gone down with you. “That’s right, baby. You’re gonna fuck Daddy’s cock, while I watch and enjoy the show.”

Not even having the chance to prepare yourself, Bucky begins rubbing the fat tip of the toy up and down your cunt, your now soaking pussy coating it in your juices and easily sliding through your slit, catching on your hole each time.

How Bucky found a fake dick that felt so realistic was beyond your belief. Nothing could ever compare to the real thing, but right now, you’re on the verge of begging for your boyfriend to fill you and soothe the ache.

Trying to catch the tip of the dildo on your cunt, Bucky takes the utmost pleasure in making sure he moves it away just in time before you can sink down, your needy whining hardening his cock even more.

“Daddy, please please please, I wan’ it so bad.”

The strain of your legs being forced wide by Bucky’s boots has you drooling before the main events even begin. The exposure to your naked form, contrasting against your boyfriend’s fully clothed one, surrendering yourself to his control entirely.

Your head is spinning, in the best possible way, lost in the dream that Bucky is.

“I know, I’m sorry, baby girl.” But he really isn’t, his seductive chuckle, forcing your pussy to clench as he goes on to make you even more dizzy. “Daddy just fuckin’ loves watchin’ how desperate you get for me.”

With no warning, Bucky thrusts his fake cock to the hilt, your walls fluttering around the shaft as it sits deep in your cunt. Your mouth hangs open in shock to experience the same stretch only Bucky’s cock has ever given you. The veins in your boyfriend’s arm bulge from the exertion of holding you down to stop squirming and the effort to keep himself collected, inflicting torture upon himself from not having his cock in you.

Once you’ve managed to get your breath, your head falls back onto his shoulder, too heavy from the fuzzy feeling swirling through your head to carry any longer.

But Bucky’s not finished revealing all the tricks up his sleeve.

Gripping your jaw to force your head back up, Bucky coos in condescension at how dumbed out you look, gently shaking your head to try and bring you back to the present.

“Aw, baby. Don’t tell me you’re done already. Why don’t you look ahead, hm?”

And so, as Bucky keeps a firm grip on you, you look forward to the direction your man has made you face, opening your eyes a little more to get rid of the blur of your surroundings when it becomes clear as to what else has got him so giddy.

A mirror.

A perfect view of you draped over Bucky’s lap, completely bare, with a cock held inside you.

Sly fucker.

Bucky placed the chair strategically in front of your full-length mirror just so he could add an extra element to your delicious reckoning.

Whispering into your ear, his breath causes goosebumps to break out onto the curve of your neck, “You see what I see, sweetheart? How well your pretty little cunt takes Daddy?”

You do. You can see everything. The pride in Bucky’s eyes, the feral beast hiding behind the blue that’s dying to come out.

And as he holds your gaze, he finally starts to thrust the silicone cock into you. His strokes are slow and tantalising enough to make you need more. He’s always loved finding how much you could take before you snapped.

It didn’t mean he would go easy on you just because it was your birthday.

The force behind the pace of the cock gets faster, harder, your moans and whimpers causing Bucky’s grip to tighten on your arms - no doubt leaving more bruises for him to admire next time.

You would normally be embarrassed by the loud squelching from your pussy, wetness flowing from your stuffed hole as Bucky continuously fucks his silicone cock into you. But, you can’t find it in yourself to care in the least when you’re so close to your high.

“You wanna cum?”

You don’t think you’ve ever nodded so fast in your life, words escaping you as you become boneless in his hold.

That doesn’t satisfy Bucky, though. Evident in his snarl as he growls into your neck. “I want a fuckin’ answer. Do you want to cum?”

“Yes! Yes yes please, Daddy, please!” You’re almost screaming, past experiences leaving no time to be silent any longer, knowing your man will easily leave you on edge the whole night should you not answer.

Bucky must be on the same wavelength as you, that damned twinkle in his eye, proud of his girl for learning so well.

But you think you might die as he leans forward, his gaze unwavering from yours in the mirror as he states clearly, “Fuckin’ give it to me then, baby.”

And with a couple of taps to your throbbing clit and the tip of the dildo hitting your cervix just right, giving him your cum is not a problem as you practically vibrate in his hold. Belly jittering from a little overstimulation as he slows down his strokes and eventually comes to a stop.

The room is quiet apart from your heavy breathing. Bucky gives you a second for the adrenaline to ease off before slowly sliding the fake cock out of your pussy and placing it somewhere you don’t care to check right now.

Bringing his arms around your waist after untightening his grip to lean you back into him, Bucky snuggles you, allowing you to come down from your high as he obliterates your face with dozens of kisses and whispers praise into your skin.

“Did so fuckin’ good for me, gorgeous. Daddy’s so happy you like his present for you.”

Your delirious laughter is nothing new at this point for him. The energy zapped out of you enough to have you on the border of going a little loopy. Bucky would normally carry you to bed and take care of you as he tells you stupid jokes to make you giggle. But his birthday girl deserves a good night out, with some food to settle her appetite for what is to come for the rest of the night (little did you know).

The last of the sweet kisses pecked into your silk skin have you melting into his embrace. Bucky’s delicate way of taking care of you warming your heart even after his wicked antics just before you had to go out.

“Now, I’ll give you a couple of minutes, and then we’ve really gotta get going so we don’t miss our reservation, sweetheart.”

Relaxing back into bucky, you’re almost pieced back together enough to get on with your next steps, but the feel of a huge wet patch on his pants has you immediately embarrassed and stuttering to try and explain to your man how you’ve ruined his outfit.

“Bucky, - your jeans. They- they’re um, a little… wet.” Cheeks going hot as you duck your head in shyness, you attempt to get the rest of your words out, “You might need to change before we go.”

Bucky already knows the result of fucking you with your new toy has left him with a little something on his jeans.

He can’t help the dangerous chuckle he lets loose at your sheepishness after what he’s just done.

Placing his pointer finger under your chin, turning your head towards him until you look in beautiful blue eyes, he smirks, and you know what’s about to come out of his mouth won’t be good for your health or your pussy.

“Oh, pretty girl. You really think I give a fuck? I’m not gonna change, wanna know why?”

Kissing you once on the lips, your heart begins racing again, his mouth hovering over yours as he whispers, “Because this way, everyone will know who you belong to - who made you cum so hard.”

And Bucky wouldn’t truly be your man if he didn’t proceed to kill you with his final words.

“And who’s cock you’ll be taking in your tight cunt later on when I give the birthday girl her last present of the night.”

[percyjackson-post]

What the Percy Jackson and Olympians characters would give as birthday gifts

Percy- A homemade baked good. That boy loves birthdays, and he loves baking; you will not convince me of anything else. He’s bringing something with far too much sugar and a truly concerning amount of blue dye. Most often his gift is blue cookies his mom helped him bake.

Annabeth- That girl is spending weeks agonizing over what to get. She needs it to be perfect, and she has to know you’ll love it. Which you will because she managed to track down something you mentioned 7 months ago that you think about constantly. It’s usually a very practical gift, but it is exactly what you need. One year it’s new headphones, another it's a brighter lamp; it's always something you want but can’t convince yourself is a priority.

Hazel- Hazel is making you a homemade card and a personalized drawing. She puts in so much effort, and it’s truly a beautiful gift. The minute she hands it to you, her eyes are shining, and she’s fighting back the biggest grin as she waits for your reaction. It will almost definitely be an intricate drawing of your favorite memory with her.

Frank- His gift is a small handmade trinket that took him a lot longer to make than he’d be willing to admit. It’s intricate and exactly your style. He looks a bit embarrassed and nervous as you open it, but then he's smiling and excitedly explaining exactly why he wanted to make it for you. It’s something like a wooden carving of your favorite animal or a new cover for your weapon. 

Leo- You never know what you’re going to get from him, but you do know it will leave you laughing so hard your sides hurt. It’s also a handmade gift, but it’s less personalized and more something Leo thinks is cool and he knows you’ll also like. The fact it may be a fire hazard is just a part of the charm. His gift is a small animatronic toy that can and will turn into a dangerous weapon.

Jason- He listens a lot more than you give him credit for. He will always end up giving you something super meaningful that will remind you of how much he cares. It’s not an extravagant gift; it’s something you’ll use a lot or will see constantly and smile to yourself as you’re reminded of the memory. It’s a weighted blanket for late nights or a new version stuffed animal you loved but lost.

Piper- Her gifts are always incredibly chaotic, but you realize there is a lot of thought put into them. She’s got a good memory and will pick something very specific that you mentioned off-handedly once. You don’t need it, but life will be a bit more fun with it than without. A ridiculous, bendy straw to drink from bed or a blanket that looks like food—truly,  you will never be prepared for what you get.

Thalia- She tries to be nonchalant, but she’s got a sly smile, and you can see how excited she is to give you a gift. It’s almost guaranteed to be a weapon, but it will be absolutely perfect for what you need. You can tell she spent a long time picking something out for you specifically, but she’s going to play it off like she just happened to come across it. 

Nico- Whatever he gives you will surprise you, that’s for certain. A lot of people joke that he’s bringing some basic dark gift, but that excited 10-year-old boy is still just as much a part of him, however. His gift is something you’ll be able to do with friends and something that will keep spirits high and laughter going. Often it is a card game that you can tuck away and take with you; he knows what it’s like to feel alone on a quest.

Will- He’s giving you a free pass to not be scolded the next time you end up in the infirmary. You need it. Kidding…mostly. He’s getting you something semi-specific from the mortal world that you can share with friends. Sometimes it goes with Nico’s gift, but it’s also something completely his own. A set of movie CDs, a giant container of popcorn (he’s not as stuck up on health as everyone likes to tease)

Grover- Enchiladas. It’s not even a question or hypothetical that guy is bringing over at least 20 cheese enchiladas from his favorite restaurant. You’ll be lucky if they last more than 10 minutes. They’re incredible, and even if you’ve had them 20 times you’re eating, them like the ambrosia of the god

[kneelingshadowsalome]

We know Konig is more soft on women, but is it all women in general? For example, if some girl was hitting on him, would he be rough with her? Would he ever kill a woman? (if he's on the battlefield - I'm guessing he would if he had to). Is he chivalrous to all women or just his partner?

Yes, König is absolutely super soft to all women in general 🌸

The thing is, women are an exception, a beautiful, pure anomaly in König's worldview. He both worships them and views them as fragile. Women need to be protected from all harm. And at the same time... König goes feral every time he gets to taste and touch and fu–ahem, make love to a woman.

CW: Toxic!König. Sexism. Mentions of canon-typical violence and PTSD. Freudian madness.

Something just snaps, and he doesn't want to hurt his Engel... but he's a bit ADHD, and far too needy, goes a bit crazy every time he sees her. Women's soft skin and plump breasts and hot, wet, silky folds drive him insane. He just wants to drown himself in a woman, hide somewhere deep, somewhere safe, but can't because he's so big and has to act all tough. If he could, if only he was allowed, he would fall asleep every night with his cock buried inside that beautiful, warm, velvet softness.

So König's deeply embedded insecurity and attempts to seek safety are a combination that make him a little unhinged when it comes to women. That's why he can never get enough 😔 Also this man's horrible childhood has made him an adrenaline addict. Chaos is what he's used to, it feels familiar, so there's a risk that König might never settle into safety even if he finds it. He needs a high (which means he needs to kill and he needs sex.)

Female operators are skilled and tough in his eyes, and he trusts their abilities (kind of), but he would always keep a silent lookout, and try to keep them safe. Even if those women looked at him like he's a weirdo. He would always choose to help a woman over helping a man. Men can and have to survive on their own if a lady is in trouble. I know this wasn't asked but He would also never, ever hurt children.

If a woman tried to kill him (on the battlefield) he would be very professional about it. He wouldn't find joy in the killing, though. As odd as it may sound, König would prefer shooting to stabbing when it comes to neutralizing a female target. He wouldn't want to prolong their deaths, and it would make him extremely uncomfortable to knife a woman down. If he has to, he will do it, but the kill would be as quick and clean as possible.

The ones König has killed linger on the precipice of his mind as precious memories, sick fantasies made real. But the women he kills haunt him forever: those deaths sometimes give him nightmares. Especially if they brought even the tiniest bit of satisfaction...

...Because König does go into a mode when he's left with a firearm. He's so excited he sometimes drops mags simply because he's so enthusiastic. Thrill and anxiety mix when he's working, and he feels absolutely marvelous every time he fires a gun and gets to announce "Target down" in the comms. Better yet if he can go on a spree and destroy a whole room full of villains. Noticing later that one or some of them were women would give him a cold feeling in the gut and leave him with a worsening PTSD.

If a woman was violent in other circumstances, meaning outside work/warfare, he would simply seize them as gently and firmly as he can and try to calm them down. König thinks hitting women is just wrong. Even if they were trying to hit him (hitting on, as in flirting with him, now that's a different thing hehe. Not sure if this is what you asked, if so let me know!). It's unmanly and cowardly, and he would kill any guy who hits women, and kill them without mercy.

König's traumatic childhood has put him on a knight's quest to protect all women and children from harm. His mother has greatly influenced the way he sees women overall. At the end of the day, they're creatures who don't know how to defend themselves so he needs to save them.

But then again... These 'Knight in Shining Armor' fantasies should be taken with a grain of salt.

Because seeing a woman under him in a helpless state, looking back at him with cute, wet eyes while he's lodged deep inside is the best thing in the world in König's opinion. He would never deliberately go and hurt a woman... But why then does it feel so good when Engel squeals every time he goes a little too deep? (Always on accident, of course.)

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Who You Are In The Dark

I cannot be the only one who knelt screaming on the edge of the cliff Tracy Deonn left us on at the end of Bloodmarked like two years ago. And yet somehow in that two years, I didn't manage to get a reread done before the third book came out. That didn't stop me from diving on into this book, but there's a series reread in my future, because I am SO CURIOUS how these books read together. But that's for later, today we finally get to stop screaming and get off this cliff. Let's talk Oathbound.

Hey, hi, hello. This is you SPOILER WARNING for the entirety of the Legendborn cycle through Oathbound.

So, the memory loss trope. This one is polarizing; some people love it, some people hate it. Like, I was 100% here when Naomi Novik's Blood of Tyrants came out and the fandom split over Laurence and Temeraire's relationship getting a third-act reset. This was one I actually didn't mind, because seeing Laurence be a stranger in his own life and getting a better sense of who Naval Officer Laurence was was really interesting. I also appreciated that it highlighted how far Laurence had come from book 1, because we'd been watching the process unfold slowly, and that contrast was...a lot.

However, we've had less time with Bree than we did with Laurence, and rather than losing a "traditional" chunk of time, Bree knew who she was, but didn't know who anyone else was. What I liked about this was the nuance that while Bree didn't know people intellectually, her body knew. This was a really interesting and subtle collapse of the mind-body split and worked to highlight that the mind and body are irrevocably integrated. It was kind of the mind-body split version of "I can put a blindfold on you, but you can still hear people moving around the room and use that information." So I liked the subtlety of this and what it does for the themes of the story and Bree's personal character development.

If I'm being completely honest though, I was less of a fan of her and Nick's relationship getting reset to zero. It felt a little repetitive, and I still remembered how much I loved how their relationship evolved in Legendborn. I can see where "Who Bree is in the dark" being useful and necessary for a lot of the rest of this book. It made sense for her in terms of building a relationship with Zoe and Elijah. It made sense for her quest to rescue the 'Crafter girls the Order had kidnapped. Like in terms of the structure of the story being told and what Deonn wanted to highlight about Bree Matthews as a character, it worked. I was just not a fan of the consequences of it for Nick and Bree's relationship. It worked for EVERYTHING ELSE, but I didn't love that specific aspect of it.

Bree and her propensity for girl squads? The best thing ever. The Order is hella patriarchal and despite some scions being women, the vibe is still a bunch of old, white men. That Bree never ever fails to pull other women and girls of color into her orbit and find unconditional love, support, and understanding there is awesome. It uplifts Bree and contrasts beautifully with the Order's patriarchal, "torture is cool if it gets us what we want" methods. That Bree is also trapped in the Order but gets to choose her girl squads is also a really lovely social foil. Deonn's clear-sighted compare and contrast of these social structures is, as always, the strongest part of the book.

I just need to briefly shout out William and Lark. Like...YES GIVE ME THE QUEER HEALER KNIGHT AND HIS MERLIN BOYFRIEND. This dynamic is perfect, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Now I need to address Nicholas Davis. Scion of Lancelot. Who be LANCELOTING WITH A GODDAMN VENGEANCE AND GIVING EVERYONE AROUND HIM PTSD ABOUT IT. Sir Lancelot is the Alexander Hamilton of the Round Table; no matter HOW you portray him, he's going to be complicated and he's going to be angsty about it. I'm pretty sure that even Spamalot made him complicated and angsty. And Nick is over here in the best goddamn tradition of angsty, self-sacrificing, and traumatized Lancelots. Like...sir. You went from the fight scene in Red Notice to "I made a Morgaine implant a fragment of the Shadow King's crown into my chest so I can suck the spirit of Arthur out of Bree like I'm going for the bobas at the bottom of a bubble tea if that fucker so much as HINTS he's going to possess her again" in about half a second. I got whiplash.

And while I am fully onboard with "fuck the Order, it tortured its own king because that king happens to be a Black woman," Nick is...perhaps tying up his own trauma about his abusive childhood in there and he maybe needs to untangle that. I'm not saying he shouldn't be mad about both, and I'm not even saying chaos gremlin with a magical flamethrower isn't the way to go here, but SIR. Unless you've got a plan for once you've destroyed everything, you might want to slow that headlong rush down before more people get hurt and traumatized.

That said...FUCK the regents, the racist, kidnapping, following in the footsteps of medically experimenting on Black girls without their consent asshats. Like that absolutely needs to be burned down ASAP. So I'm on board with that.

That brings me to Selwyn Kane. Sel...sweetie, honey, friend. WHAT THE HELL??? This boy needs a nice long conversation with Valec about what it means to be a crossroads son of a big bad ancient evil and then just SO. MUCH. THERAPY. Natasia tried, but Sel needs Valec and a team of professionals.

All that said, I do love that Deonn has twined the parts of Merlin's mythology where he's a half-demon potential anti-Christ with the Rootcrafter stuff, because that's just a beautiful reimagining and reweaving of the various mythologies in the world. It also brings Sel into a tradition that aligns more with Valec and Bree than the legendborns. I am SO CURIOUS to see where this goes.

I also literally cannot speak well enough of Deonn's worldbuilding. The ways that the various mythologies and social commentaries intertwine, bounce off each other, and clash with each other is masterfully done, and doesn't let ANYONE off the hook with simple answers. It's all nuance and complexity, but its done with elegance and compassion.

Overall, the Legendborn Cycle is a masterpeice so far, and if Deonn sticks the landing, I think this quartet should be a classic on par with the Hunger Games. What Suzanne Collins has done with class and fascism and authoritarianism and the anatomy of rebellion, Deonn has done with race and mythologies and the difference between institutions and community.

I might die waiting for the next book though...

[ruegarding]

anyway here's my rant:

despite her comment in son, hazel doesn't have much adhd/dyslexia coding. her treatment at st agnes has more to do w being a black girl in the 1930's and her powers/curse than her possible adhd/dyslexia, considering she never mentions any symptoms specific to adhd or dyslexia in her backstory. the closest things are her interest in horses, which could be considered a hyper-fixation, and her flashbacks, which could be argued as daydreaming associated w inattentive adhd. furthermore, her powers could easily be used as a commentary on masking similar to the general attitude towards her vs other dead ppl (she looks alive, so she deserves to be alive, unlike all these other ppl who went thru the doors of death). overall, interesting set up, not expanded upon in canon.

similarly, the only time piper is ever implied to have adhd is in that boo scene, which doesn't hold much weight bc it's a general statement in an impersonal pov (as opposed to "piper was only able to keep track bc of her adhd/demigod abilities," still in third person pov, but a more personalized statement). this post began as a quest to answer the question "how does piper's adhd manifest," and the answer is "uhhhhhhhhhhh."

continuing w the trend, jason is never implied to have adhd or dyslexia at all. would have been interesting to see, considering jason has the whole gifted-kid-burn-out thing going on, but alas.

i'm not including the statement annabeth makes abt demigods typically having one or both and hazel's statement abt "just being a demigod," bc it's also established that it's not a requirement. the fandom wiki claims frank is the only demigod to not have adhd: if "just being a demigod" means that every demigod has adhd/dyslexia, then frank, inarguably, has adhd/dyslexia, as well.

more importantly, in a story where adhd and dyslexia are explicitly addressed and considered the cornerstone of the world building, i need it to be explicitly said that a character has adhd/dyslexia in order to give credit to canon (my personal hcs are a different story).

so, it seems like leo is the only one out of the lost trio w adhd or dyslexia, and it's only adhd. he frequently references things he's reading and shows no issue doing so, given that it's in a language he understands.

interestingly, leo claims "he couldn’t read ancient greek" in hoh, so it could be that the ease w learning ancient greek (and potentially latin) is exclusive to those w dyslexia. however, this has been as inconsistent as the actual dedication to giving demigods adhd and/or dyslexia. for example, chiron says the ability is "in their blood" in tlh w no mention of dyslexia, but in tlt annabeth says percy has dyslexia bc "[his] mind is hardwired for ancient greek."

the only character to bring up how dyslexia affects them in hoo is percy, making it seem like his dyslexia is much worse than annabeth's, the only other character who we know is dyslexic (from pjo, it's never mentioned in hoo). if leo is "seriously adhd," then percy is seriously dyslexic. something to be said how they're both treated as comic relief in fandom, considering.

frank not being diagnosed despite his dyspraxia coding could be used as a commentary on medical racism and the model minority stereotype. since frank is exclusively listed as the only demigod to not have either diagnosis and his dyspraxia coding eventually disappears, it doesn't appear that that was the intention.

moving to a more theoretical discussion, it's hard to say what is/is not definitively adhd/dyslexia symptoms, specifically using canon, considering we rarely see any of the demigods acting "normal." the majority of the time, they're on a quest/in an extreme situation. contrast w pjo, where we learn things abt percy's adhd and dyslexia while he's at school, a relatively normal situation, and then can apply it to the rest of the series. w hoo, it's almost all guesswork.

leo mentions that his adhd affects his memory, so we know that similar moments can be attributed to his adhd. but is hazel forgetting part of sciron's story a symptom of adhd or just a normal thing that happens bc forgetting things in stressful situations is normal? is jason's seemingly permanent amnesia a symptom of the memory wipe or is it exacerbated by adhd? is piper's aversion to feminine clothing and make up caused by sensory issues? we'll never know, bc they're never said to have adhd.

[phantom-ghouls-world]

🦇 𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 🦇

Admin: I've decided to share some of my own headcanons for Phantom, which applies to my portrayal of him as well! I hope you'll enjoy them. 😽

• Phantom is around the age of a 25 years old, if we count it in human years.

• His name was originally Aeon. He doesn't use it anymore, as it brings too many memories back and now he prefers Phantom. He didn't tell anyone his previous name on Topside.

• He was fending to himself in the Pit, so he still has some kit-like tendencies as he didn't socialize well. (I'll explain it more in backstory and personality)

• His little brothers were called Caleum and Cielo, meanwhile the girls name were Phalosa, Kallea and Aileen.

• He likes shiny things; anything that's shiny and reflects the light gets his attention.

• Phantom is ambidextrous, yet prefers his left hand.

• He's the kind of metalhead that wears silly socks under his boots. (His favorite ones are decorated with little pink otters)

• Can't drink anything with coffein after one time he drank Aether's espresso and went feral.

• Suprisingly can drink some of the other ghouls under the table, but if he gets drunk, hold his hand or he will go on side quests.

• He misses a teeth on the right side of his mouth from one of his past fights. It gives a little gap anytime he's smiling or showing his fangs any sort.

• Phantom is allergic to so many things, he's scared to try new stuff because of it, so he has a few 'safe food' that the other ghouls and Papa knows. He's also allergic to many brands that has hygeine products, like sampoo and showergel, so he sticks to one type. (It's the brand of the nearest drugstore from the Ministry.)

• Every quintessence ghoul - or overall ghoul - has some unique powers. Besides healing and emotional control of his quintessence (which Phantom didn't master yet), anytime he goes through something emotional, his magic seems to affect electricity; flickering lights, static noises, things turning off and on.

• He has a strange scent. If you pay attention, he has a lingering scent that's similar to when you lean close to and old television.

(Here's a little collage I've made for him)

[bella-goths-wife]

Bella meets cullen reader

You were sat in the corner of the kitchen while your family fussed over a meal. They were all nervous for how this meeting was going to turn out. The girl Edward was bringing seemed to be of great interest to him and the family knew better than to try and take away a love interest from him after he closed himself off from humanity for years. Lucky him, he got the option to isolate himself while you were stuck isolated.

Carlisle had given you a firm warning that you were not to act out during this dinner and for once, you knew you had to obey. You didn’t know this girl and you didn’t want her killed.

You weren’t the only one unhappy with this meeting. Rosalie had spent most of the morning fussing over you and telling you to stay by her at all times, she had a disgusted look on her face whenever someone brought up Bella.

Your head swung up when you heard a car door slam, they were here. You straightened yourself up and went to Rosalie who held your hand gently and stayed slightly in front of her. This time you’ll accept the affection and protection.

The door opened and your father went to greet them first while esme motioned for Rosalie to grab the salad, she hesitantly let go of your hand and went to grab it while you got a look at Bella.

She was a very pretty girl, if she was born in your time many men would have asked her father for her hand. She was timid though. You understood since it must be intimidating to walk into a house filled with monsters.

The family greeted Bella politely and when it came to your turn Carlisle put his hand on your back as a small warning.

“And this is (y/n)” Edward introduced and Bella held out her hand which you took and shook, she flinched at your cold skin and it served as a reminder for when you met Carlisle and reacted the same

The difference being that this girl knows what you were, you didn’t.

“Hi” you say with a polite smile as you try to go back to your place but Bella speaks suddenly

“I uh… like your necklace” Bella says as she tries to reach for it and you let her “where did you get it-“

Bella is cut off by the sound of glass smashing as Rosalie breaks the glass salad bowl and rushes to you. She grabs you by the shoulders and hisses at Bella while bearing her fangs. Bella backs away and behind Edward, who was now hissing at Rosalie.

“You’ll have to forgive Rosalie” Carlisle says as he drags her back and stops the stare down between the two of his children “she’s just protective of (y/n)”

“It’s fine” Bella reassured but we could all hear her heart thumping in her chest

“Sorry” is all you say as you go with Rosalie to help clean up all while she glared as bella.

The two lovers leave and Carlisle scolds Rosalie while your looking out to the outside the window. You look to esme and she just smiles at you while your longing becomes more apparent.

“Can I go on the balcony?” You ask hopefully and Carlisle looks at you doubtfully “alice will see if I run away, I just want to be outside for a bit”

Carlisle gives into your defeated attitude and gives you a small nod and you go to walk up the stairs.

Once you reach the balcony you stand and smell the air. The smell of grass and the sound of leaves rustling invade your senses. You relax at the feeling of the wind hitting your face.

Before you were turned your brothers used to take you to play outside a lot. They would play make believe with you and you would always play the princess who sent her loyal knights off on quests.

The sound of the wind also brings back the memories of your betrothed, victor. The two of you met three times without your parents knowing before your betrothal was announced, always in the garden at noon. You didn’t love each other but you were friends. Who knows, maybe if you were allowed to marry you could have grown to love victor.

You missed your human life.

The sound of the door opening breaks you from your thoughts. You turn to see Bella with an embarrassed expression as she looks around.

“Sorry” she apologises “I thought that Edward was out here”

“It’s fine” you reassured quietly “I was just enjoying the wind”

“Sorry to disturb” she mumbles out apologetically

“You could wait here if you want, until Edward finds you” you shock yourself at the offer, you were never a social one nowadays. Maybe you just craved someone to talk to

“Oh sure” she says as she walks over to you and stands next to you while you stare into the trees and listen for birds

You hear a small Robin in the trees and seek its comfort as you will it to come closer. It flys and lands on the balcony fence and tweets sweetly while you smile

“Edward told me you could control animals” Bella looks at you with curiosity “can you talk to them as well”

“I can’t understand them precisely” you explain while stroking the robins head gently “if I want to communicate with them I ask them questions and I get a sense of their feelings, so I understand them but I can’t talk to them”

“That’s awesome” Bella says with awe as she moves closer to you “you must love your gift”

“I enjoy some of it, I like being able to calm animals and listen to them but I don’t like controlling them too much if it causes them distress” you explain calmly while letting the bird leave you hand and fly back to the trees.

“What else can you do?” Bella asked like a curious child

“I can cry unlike my family because my eyes are slightly animal like, a deer because of the wideness of them” you say as you lean closer to show your eyes “they can no longer produce tears because tears are made to protect eyes and vampire eyes don’t need the protection, but my eyes are more deer like than vampire in their structure so I can produce tears”

“I didn’t know becoming a vampire could cause mutation” Bella says aloud and you wince at the word ‘mutation’ which she notices “i didn’t mean it like that I promise”

“It’s fine” you reassure “it can cause slight changes to facial and body features but nothing too major, it only comes with gifts and some vampires don’t even own them so you’ll be safe”

She stays quiet at the mention of her turning and you notice a far away expression on her face.

“If you don’t want to turn, you should tell him now” you say quietly while making eye contact with Bella

“It’s not that I don’t want to turn, I’m just scared that’s all” Bella stutters out defensively and you just let out a sigh

“Be glad you have a choice” you say sadly while looking back at the trees “most of us didn’t”

“How were you turned” Bella asks with a hand on your shoulder to comfort

Your about to answer when the door opens again and Edward appears. You immediately straighten up and control your thoughts as best you can.

“I wonder where you got to” Edward says to Bella before looking at you with a suspicious expression “what are you two chatting about”

“She was just explaining her gift to me” Bella says and you thank god that Edward can’t read her thoughts “it’s really cool”

“Well it’s nice to see you two getting along” Edward gives you a grateful smile before turning to Bella “are you ready to go?”

“Yeah” Bella answers and goes to leave before turning to you one more time “it was nice talking to you”

You simply nod and look back at the woods until you hear the door close. You felt fear in your heart. Hopefully she doesn’t tell Edward what you’d said or you’d be in a world of trouble.

You reflect on the conversation as the tears that you previously explained ran down your cheeks. You missed being human so much and you’d handed that girl to Edward. You hoped that she changed her mind

But if she didn’t maybe you’d have an ally in the house after all?

You knew that wasn’t true, you knew she would join the others eventually, and you’d be stuck with another sibling and another captor

You hear someone clear their throat and turn to see Carlisle waiting by the door. He gives a gently smile and nods to the door as a sign for you to go inside

The warden is here to escort the prisoner back to her cell.

Hope you enjoyed :)

[princessofghosts-posts]

Piper doesn't have kleptomania

I don't remember if Riordan,at some point,actually introduced her as a kleptomaniac in TLH or it's some of the fandom view of her and her stealing habit,but she isn't.

Piper has a lot of issues,and I'm not referring to only her character or her attitude with her Aphrodite's nature,she is also a mess when it cames to powers. But that's Rick's fault again,since he gave her an OP power while also establishing Percy,in this case Jason too,superiority with the powerscaling (that too is a mess). But that's another thing to talk about.

I saw a couple of people referring to her as a "former kleptomaniac" but she never was.

Kleptomania is the inability to resist the urge to steal items,usually for reasons other than personal use or financial gain. It's also classified as an impulse control disorder,and while it could be on the obsessive-compulsive spectrum,it also share similarities with addictive and mood disorder too.

This is one of the many official meaning of being a kleptomaniac. Kleptomania is a desorder that push the person to steal uncontrollably,no matter what,when or in what type of situation. And that's not Piper.

Piper steal because it's the only thing she can do to have her father's attention. And she also don't technically steal,because her charmspeak ability basically hypnotize people to give her what she want,even if those things are completely off limits.

And after she found out about her charmspeak,she knew why it was happening and why people give her things when she asked for them. Again,for a kleptomaniac stealing is stronger than them,but I don't have any memory of Piper stealing something because she just wanted it and had an impulse stronger than her,instead of needing for the quest. She either did that for attention or because she had to.

Also,the disorder is frequently under-diagnosed and is regularly associated with other psychiatric disorders. Patients with kleptomania are typically treated with therapies in other areas due to the comorbid grievances rather than issues directly related to kleptomania. Pharmacological treatments using selective inhibitors,mood stabilizers and receptor antagonists,with also other antidepressants along with cognitive behavioral therapy,have yielded positive results for the "cure" of it.

It's a disorder that needs to be "cured" (more like stabilized and minimized) with therapy and pharmacological interventions. It doesn't go away just because someone decided to stop stealing and can resist the urge of it. That's not how this disorder work. And Piper didn't have any of this,because she isn't a kleptomaniac.

The girl has a lot of misconceptions and her whole character is a huge mess (mostly because Rick went on a different route with her and then threw Piper under the bus midway HoO),I don't like her that much,I'm mostly neutral to her,but she wasn't a kleptomaniac. And if Rick actually portrayed her in this way,in TLH,then he was wrong to do so,because she can't be a kleptomaniac since she only does it for attention and stopped after realizing it was her power doing.

If you need to call her something,then Piper is a shoplifter,never a kleptomaniac.

[legendofmorons]

Wonderland -Prolouge

Hi! This has been a brain worm for like a year now. This is a series where it's like a choose your own adventure. I have a story line thay stems from this song for each Link (minus Wind).

I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL POST THE REST BUT I WILL (I'LL probably start posting towards the end of how to fall in love twice)

Pairing: Chain x reader

Rating:G

Summery: you reminisce on your time eith your ex lover. Some good, some bad.

Warnings: This is a song fic, it has the lyrics in italics.

Other: You don't need to read this to enjoy the rest of the series.

-------

Flashing lights and we took a wrong turn, and we fell down the rabbit hole. You held on tight to me 'Cause nothing's as it seems spinning out of control

Eveyrtime you fell through a portal it was like all the air was sucked out of your body and you were mixed around like scrambled eggs.

The way your head spins after it is entirely too ingrained into your memory. You still get nauseous at the very thought.

When they opened under you the one time you screamed as you grabbed onto your beloved hero, gripping his hand like a lifeline.

He let out a shout of surprise as the ground leaves him but his grip on you was strong even after the world stopped spinning.

The gentle way he made sure you were okay afterwards will never leave you.

Didn't they tell us don't rush into things? Didn't you flash your bright eyes at me? Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?

You can remember all your elders warning you not to rush into life, love, or danger. You didn't listen.

You took on Ganon in place of your at the time three year old brother. Then again three years later. Without any hesitation.

You tried not to rush into romance, but then he showed up. Kind, courageous, and someone who understands your history.

He pulled you into his gravity with nothing but a smile or smirk and his eyes flashing bright with joy.

He was curious, always asking about you and your history. His questions giving you hope.

But curiosity always leads to things you don't wanna know. Like the girl he's probably dating or going to date.

Ooh didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twisting around me. I should've slept with one eye opened at night

Your first date was exhilarating. He'd taken you to a festival where you all danced for hours. It was beautiful and loud and just like him.

The way his arms wrapped around you made you feel so safe and cared for. Gentle but strong and warm.

The sway of your dance made you giddy as you laughed at his jokes.

If you'd been more aware of things- it would all hurt so much to think about now.

We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it, and we pretended it could last forever, eh. We found wonderland, You and I got lost in it, and life was never worse but never better, eh

You remember nights spent with a shared watch shift, cuddled up by the fire as you talk about anything and everything that can be talked about.

It was too easy, falling into a domestic routine. Checking on each other after fights. Patching each other up.

Giving small gifts. Gentle touches.

You would have given anything to make it last. You tried to believe that it could last.

And yeah… Everything was awful. You were being hunted down by some immortal godlike shadow. But also- you were happily in love!

So we went on our way too in love to think straight. All alone or so it seemed. But there were strangers watching, and whispers turned to talking, and talking turned to screams

You remember taking the quest on with a new found lightness. His hand in your's as you both ignored the monster attacks increasing.

You find yourself being watched by strangers everywhere you go, but you both think it's funny.

They are just jealous.

You remember the first argument you had though, the way your voices all raised. His, your's and everyone else's.

Ooh didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twisting around me. It's all fun and games, still somebody loses their mind

You remember how thrilling each first in your relationship was. How gentle he was with you even if it clashed with his mature. He cherished you.

How he held you after your nightmares. Arms around you feeling so secure.

It was exciting, planning a future where he was in it. He adored the plans you made with him. He told you so.

And it was al so fun- until the end. Until the last portal opened and you watched him leave you standing alone. The last to go through you had a break down.

Oh darling, we found wonderland, you and I got lost in it. And we pretended it could last forever, eh. We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it. And life was never worse but never better, eh

You spend hours remembering it all. The first touch, first kiss, the way he held your face in his hands.

His voice plays in your head too often. And you would rather not hear it. It hurts too much.

You remember his hands in yours as you watched the clouds and the stars alike roll slowly across the skies. It was perfect.

It was. Even when you were all attacked over and over. You always had his back and he had your's.

I reached for you, but you were gone. I knew I had to go back home. You searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had. And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad

You woke up the first morning after your return home only to reach for him to the other side of your bed. Your hand found sheets and it had been heart wrenching to remember he was thousands of years in the past.

You knew you couldn't stay with him. That your home needs you. That Hylia was not so kind to let you be happy together. And it still hurts

You wonder if he moved on? Did he have a family?

Selfishly, you hope he didn't. That he kept searching for traces of you.

[fareehaandspaniards]

Actually Yuri being a human child gives me a huge bowl of mental food. Who was the true mother of Yuri then? Could Ymir have a wife that he forgot because of insanity? He says that he failed to "birth Yuri whole". Is it about fingercreeper that was on his hands? Or he tried to give Yuri birth trough fingercreeper? Maybe Yuri was just born sick with a short lifespan?

Maybe Yuri died at the very young age and that led Ymir to Metyr - he was trying to get how a mother creates healthy children and how motherhood works. Could he have grudge against his wife that gave birth to Yuri? Could he blame her so much that he had forgotten her and his memories had been replaced?

Also I have thought of Mandela effect - a phenomenon in which a person forms memories of facts that did not actually occur or that occurred at a different point in time. My husband suggested that Ymir may have false memories about his child or birthing him? (Cool theory I think!) Because in the same dialogue he wants to bring Yuri back and says that he failed to birth him whole. In my opinion, those two phrases are adressed to different beings - one to a boy and a second to fingercreeper. Ymir is insane for sure, poor man. Welcome to my insane blorbos fanplace.

And also!! A big question to Jolan. If we go down, under Ymir's throne before he gives us a map, we encounter Anna there, she invaded and tries to kill us. Although I checked - at the very beginning of the quest she is already a doll. Whose doll is she? Why invading? If we tell Jolan about her sister, she says that she "understood everything" but "still has one star and His words..." - okay, I got it, it's about Ymir, but girl what did you understand, PLEASE SHARE.

Also if we encounter Anna and go under Cathedral before Ymir asks to do it, he will ask if we saw a weird creature down there. He knows everything. He wants us to find Metyr. Who does Anna serve? Why Jolan calls our actions heresy (no I actually can understand Why, but without context of Ymir)?

[darkscorpiox]

Utena - Analysis on the opening

I don’t know if someone has already done it, but here’s my interpretation of the opening.

Warning: very, VERY long post and mention of scenes from the show, enough to be considered spoilers (sorry 😅)

Edit: I’ve made an analysis on the first ending as well

Let’s live heroically, let’s live with style. (Just a long, long time.)

The opening starts with our two main characters naked and in a fetal position, indicating their status of “newborn” in the story. Then, they are clad in the garbs of their respective roles. Interestingly, despite facing and leaning toward each other, their eyes remain close. In the case of Utena, it symbolizes her inability to see beyond her own narrative of the heroic prince saving the princess. As for Anthy, it’s her resignation to not see anything beyond her role of Rose Bride which she has played for decades/centuries, hence the long, long time.

Even if the two of us are torn apart… (Let go of me…) …take my revolution.

In the next sequence, not only are they not looking at each other, but they are also back-to-back, another indication that they are positioned to be at odds with each other, whether they want to or not. Still, despite the obstacles thrown at them, despite Anthy’s attempts to make Utena give up on her (“Let go of me…”), the latter doesn’t stop telling her to take her hand (revolution) and that’s what she did.

In the sunlit garden, we both joined out hands.

Miki’s sunlit garden is an idealized memory, so it makes sense to compare Utena’s goal of becoming a prince to the former. Also, the tower, where her journey is supposed to end with her heteronormative “happily ever after”, is where she and Anthy join hands and the latter’s revolution begins.

The sequence where Utena walks with the male students has a “one of the boys” kind of vibe and that might have been the intent. The tomboy character may appear progressive by refusing to conform to traditionally feminine gender norms, but that’s instead a sexist concept because it implies that Utena’s gender, her femininity (and by association, anything branded as “girly”), is the one thing that makes her less than her fellow male schoolmates. Also, she looks over her shoulder, something or someone (Anthy?) catching her attention which stops her from blindly following the other boys’ lead.

Drawing close for comfort, we both swore…

In Anthy’s case, due to her hair and skin color, the vibe she emanates as she walks with her fellow female schoolmates is “not like other girls”, another trope which hurts women by marginalizing the few “different/special ones” from the “normal/average ones” or vice versa. However, the reason she turned around (Utena? Her perspicacity?) is what helps her preserve the part of her identity which is still deep within her. So being different isn’t a bad thing as long as every person, especially girls, are given the same courtesy.

If you read the Japanese lyrics, you would know chikai (from chikau, meaning “to swear/vow”) is at the beginning of Anthy’s sequence, when we see the gates of Ohtori, where she swears to find Utena again.

(Also, did you notice that their respective sequences begin with a shot of where their story in Ohtori ends?)

…never again would we ever fall in love. (Every time.)

This line is sung as our two protagonists stand face to face in Anthy’s cage-like greenhouse, where the cycle of the quest for revolution always (re)starts. That vow of never falling in love again, along with that Every time, makes me wonder about how many games had taken place before Utena. How many times had Anthy been engaged to a “chosen one”? How many of those “chosen ones” did she grow to love, yet still choose to betray? How many times did she swore to never love another again only to do so despite said promise to herself? Utena, by ending the cycle, makes the vow mentioned before much sweeter: she and Anthy choose to never fall in love again because they have pledged their love for each other till death do them part (like a married couple 🥰🤵🏻‍♀️👰🏾‍♀️🥰).

I see that photo of us standing cheek to cheek… …and place a bit of my loneliness in our smiles. (Revolution!)

At this moment, the past represented by Utena and Anthy lying down, facing each other, and the future represented by the lyrics paralleled each other.

Past: a (naively) smiling Utena and a (falsely) smiling Anthy -> Anthy gives the white rose, the symbol of the Prince and by association, patriarchy, the source of her eternal pain, to Utena who is unaware of the dark history connected to it -> (failed) Revolution by dueling (transition to the dueling arena)

Future: the photo at the end of Episode 39 -> Anthy’s longing for Utena -> (successful) Revolution by leaving Akio

Even if I dream, even if I cry, even if I get hurt… …reality keeps on coming recklessly.

This sequence is about the Duelists.

Utena being the one who dreams is self-explanatory.

Saionji, if you pause at the right time, is seen with tears in his eyes. Behind his arrogant attitude is nothing but a mentally weak and insecure boy who throws violent tantrums when things don’t go his way.

Juri is no doubt the one most hurt in the series, not only because of her gender, but also because of her sexual orientation (I’ve made a post about it).

Miki and Nanami being the ones hit by reality makes sense due to the knowledge they idealize the relationship they shared with their respective siblings when they were children.

But what about Touga? Maybe it’s the confidence that he could get the power to revolutionize the (his) world if he emulates the system which had hurt him only to realize that such way of doing things won’t get him closer to his goal. Or, since he’s the first antagonist of the show, giving us a taste of what Akio, another male character whose inside is the opposite of his princely front, could do to girls, maybe he represents the reality/truth of the (imperfect) world.

All these Duelists, these teenagers, fight each other for a purpose and that later turns out to be futile after they find out that the rules they play by are a cover for a much more sinister plot.

I wanna find my own place, the value of being…

The first half, we focus on Utena who raises her sword with a determined look as the blue sky turned golden and the dueling arena crumbled. Utena rejects the narrative Akio wants for her and in the process, breaks the world he has created (and kept Anthy in).

While we zoom in on Utena, symbolizing her will to move forward, it’s the opposite with Anthy. Expression blank, she put some distance between her and Utena/the viewer(s), letting herself (her true self) disappear with Akio’s self-made world.

This sequence foreshadows what will happen in Episode 38.

…the person I’ve been until now…

But as it is shown in Episode 39, Anthy didn’t disappear in the fall of Akio’s world and stood up against her brother (riding a horse), mirroring Utena.

Also, we see Dios opens his eyes as the dueling arena crumbles to dust.

In Episode 13, Akio is conversing with a “sealed” Dios who “glare[s] at” him for wanting to bring the Prince back into the world. Dios had been “sealed away” because playing Prince had been killing him. Anthy had become the world’s sole target of their hatred so that he would no longer carry that great burden on his shoulders ever again. Dios is angry at Akio for not only trying to turn her sacrifice into a fruitless endeavor, but for also taking part in her eternal torment by making her an accomplice in his scheme.

Akio has internalized the teachings of patriarchy. He now idealizes the Prince, forgetting that his current self isn’t the result of Anthy sealing the latter’s power away. He had, of his own volition, casted away his “nobility” and enjoyed the privileges of his gender. He was free of the duties expected from the Prince yet chose to not use that freedom to search for a way to save his sister without taking on that mantle again. Protected by a patriarchal system, Akio is in fact afraid of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders again despite his desire to return to his “glory days”. He wants to be the Prince again (regression), but also doesn’t want to give up his life of privilege. There is no step toward self-improvement. And that’s why his quest for revolution is nothing but a pretext to play people like a fiddle, especially the vulnerable ones like children and women. I think he subconsciously knows he’s maintaining a perpetual cycle meant to end in failure, but he’s too lost in his self-centeredness to take a third option, to destroy the limits of his coffin. In other words, Akio must let patriarchy (manifested through the game and the dueling arena) disappear in order to regain the lost part of him that is Dios, because what the latter really wants is to live in a better world, one where Princes aren’t needed anymore.

Let’s find the strength to throw it all away. Strip down to nothing all.

Utena having the strength to throw everything away references her decision to give up on the heteronormative “happy ending” given to her at the cost of Anthy’s well-being.

Anthy being stripped of everything references her true (naked) self within her coffin.

Become like rose petals, blowing free!

Honestly, that part was a bit difficult to interpret. We do see petals blown in the wind when Utena beats boys at basketball, but the only time I saw them concerning Anthy (and by association, the duels) was when the Duelist gets “deflowered”, and I didn’t get a feeling of freedom from it. Or so I thought at first. Knowing that the duels are part of Akio’s plot which is nothing but a wild goose chase, it makes sense in the context that losing means some time away from Akio’s control and thus, a chance to reflect and for self-improvement. Also, if the dueling arena is like a groomed flower, then its rubble is the petals. This might be foreshadowed in Episode 9, when Anthy falls with rose petals scattered everywhere as Utena tries to catch her.

Even if the two of us are torn apart… …I swear that I will change the world.

We have a return of Even if the two of us are torn apart… (Let go of me…) / …take my revolution. This time, there’s no request to let go of the other party and Utena is taking the next step toward (self-)improvement. If you pause at the right time, you can see she is not in a fetal position like at the beginning of the opening. Now, it looks like she is opening herself to the real world.

Anthy is not present, but that’s because she hasn’t reunited with Utena yet. Until that day comes, the latter will keep fighting for the world both deserve to live in.

In conclusion, the opening is a summary of the entire series and foreshadows how it would end.

[hestzhyen]

Food in the Edgy Sword Manga: A Summary

This is long because I hit the image cap but I at least managed to keep things succinct for once in my life.

In short: Kagurabachi has been using food as obvious symbolism for connection, trust, general well-being, and/or mutual understanding since the beginning.

Chapter 1

Moments like these are cherished memories that Chihiro keeps close to his heart. Note his relaxed, open posture compared to the next image.

Three years later, Chihiro is turning down Mr. Shiba's small offer of comfort. He still relies on Mr. Shiba and cares a great deal for him, obviously, but his heart is closed off now.

Vs. Sojo Arc

Chapter 3

Our first obvious glimpse into the kind nature Chihiro tries to smother with edginess. He'll turn down comfort from others but he'll easily offer some to a scruffy orphan. He even makes sure he gets down to her eye level to reassure her when doing so (Hinao also did the same earlier in the chapter). Take notes, Mr. Shiba.

World's Hardest-Working Uncle Figure doing the clarifying monologue shtick to perfection as always. Just so we know that this bit with Char is perfectly in-character for Chihiro.

Char doesn't trust Chihiro yet, but she's willing to help him with his own quest at least. They connected over the meal (short-lived as it was).

Chapter 5

Chihiro being run ragged by a hungry, lonely little girl should trounce any lingering doubts that this guy is an uncaring revenge bot. You can tell by his thoughts and dialogue here that despite his brusque attitude, he's more focused on Char's quirks and well-being than the information she can offer him. And Char reciprocates by starting to let her guard down- his altruism when providing security and comfort gets her to trust him completely.

Again food being used to reference someone's well-being. Living as a science experiment in captivity was terrible even when she still had her mom (obviously). But Char's safe now with access to good food through Chihiro. Or so she hopes.

Chapter 6

Chihiro's cherished memories of his dad are corrupted thanks to the trauma sorcerer. A meal interrupted, trust and safety shattered. Only hatred is left according to Chihiro when he comes to. ...But he's not exactly the most trustworthy guy when it comes to his own status.

Instead of the science lab or the cell itself we see a tray of indistinct mush and water in a cage. Just a gentle way of bonking us over the head that the food metaphors are supposed to be obvious- and that whatever is waiting for Char back there with Sojo is not good for her (or anyone really).

The comfort Chihiro offers is a bit awkward and messy, but it's still wholesome as fuck. He's willing to give it at his own expense too. Someone please give this boy a hug.

Chapter 11

Poor Mr. Shiba. One day he'll find someone who appreciates his awkward attempts to help people. At least Hinao didn't turn him down despite the poor presentation.

Between this scene and the grilled smelt from Chapter 1, it's pretty obvious that Shiba sucks at trying to be a source of comfort, but at least he tries.

Alone and back to being mistreated. Oh, Char...

Chapter 15

Just like Chihiro, this represents the precious memories Char has of her mom. When she was safe and loved.

And once again, safety and comfort are brutally ripped away from a child and their only parent.

... but what was lost can be found again in the right people.

May nothing bad ever happen to Char again. I mean it.

Chapter 17

Ah, one of my favorite tropes! Interrupting a fierce battle scene to show the combatants having a casual chat! This time, there's no comfort or security to be had through sharing food, though. Instead, this is exchange is purely about connecting and understanding each others' views.

A bit of trivia: these guys are probably eating hanami (a.k.a. sanshoku) dango which are usually eaten while viewing cherry blossom trees in the spring. They're sweet and thus extra unappetizing for Chihiro (he dislikes sweet foods and drinks in general).

Sojo initiates and eats a single dango. He begrudgingly accepts that Chihiro's view of Kunishige's legacy is legitimate.

As the conversation goes on, Chihiro accepts Sojo's interpretation in turn. Both of them are correct. And yet:

Chihiro painfully finishes his dango while Sojo is content to leave just the first one eaten. This is Chihiro being willing and able to swallow the whole truth and all it's implications, no matter how unpleasant the experience is. Meanwhile Sojo cares more about being the one with the "most correct" interpretation. Chihiro ended up getting more out of the conversation than Sojo did, which gave him the edge he needed to win the fight.

And that's the end of the Vs. Sojo arc. The food references aren't as common past this point, but they still show up to give some extra context in a few scenes.

Rakuzaichi Arc

Chapter 19

Hakuri's just a fuckin' mess dude- alone, insecure, and can't give himself any kind of reassurance. Given what what we can infer from his monologue, it's pretty obvious this guy is going through it and not coping as well as he thinks he is.

Chapter 26

Our spaghetti queen and parfait king share a meal to let us know that they're pretty comfortable with each other... though outsiders might not get what their deal is. It's casual and they chat like they've known each other for a while. Tafuku and Hiyuki's relationship is solid despite the yawning chasm between their personalities.

Once again Shiba's good intentions are turned down. At least Char is comfortable enough to let Team Goldfish know about her wants and needs now though!

Meanwhile, Hakuri isn't ready or willing to let anyone console him, but least we have better insight as to why he struggles to keep his shit together. Most people would- and we haven't even seen the worst of his circumstances yet.

Chapter 28

After a few days of encouragement from Chihiro and helping out, Hakuri finally lets himself be treated a little. He earned himself a bit of security and respite but is still uneasy, and thus quick to let the warm fuzzies go (hence passing the ice cream to Char instead of bringing it with him). Neither Chihiro nor Shiba have any themselves.

Chapter 35

Oh man. Oh boy. Time to really get into why Hakuri is the way he is. This could be a whole post by itself but I'll try to be brief. (Honest.)

Shout out to the KB Confession account on Twitter for letting me ramble in their inbox with that long-ass submission about how Hakuri relates to food in this series. I've reworked it poorly here (so much for being anonymous I guess).

Sazanami prison food looks better than what Char was getting, but it's not out of kindness- everything in this place exists for the Rakuzaichi. Hakuri obviously sees himself as no different. He threatens to keep Ice Lady alive no matter what she wants because that's his job; there's no affection or compassion involved when he provides her meals.

Ice Lady seems to want to genuinely connect with Hakuri though. Even when she fails to manipulate him, she keeps the offer of companionship open to him since she's empathetic to his situation.

It works as she thought it would, but maybe not as she hoped. We see him coming to trust and find comfort in her as she leaves less food behind each time, but she's unable to find the same in him. His insistence on their one-sided relationship through food only pushed Ice Lady further and further away despite her apparent growing affection for him. He got it all wrong because he didn't know any better. It's painful to love and be loved as a Sazanami- especially a worthless defect like him. Hakuri wasn't able to understand the ramifications of how fucked up his situation was until Ice Lady slit her throat in his face.

Up until this point, providing food was a positive thing- people connecting and usually finding comfort. At the bare minimum it allowed Chihiro and Sojo to understand each other before the end. But Hakuri inverted and distorted the meaning of sharing food with someone. His actions helped him break free from his family's grip by revealing that he doesn't know what it means to properly offer and reciprocate genuine human connection. So now Hakuri probably associates sharing food with being used and hurting other people.

That's why we haven't seen him share a meal with Team Goldfish or anyone else yet IMO. For all that he's attached himself to Chihiro, he still hasn't exchanged any food with him. Hakuri only trusts that Chihiro saw something worthwhile in in him, that through him there might be hope outside the cage after all. He's barely beginning to see himself as a useful tool. Once he gets to the probably not a horrible human being mindset is where we might see him be able to open up and try to share food again.

Chapter 43

The normal loving family that could have been, if not for Kyora and the clan's slavish devotion to the Rakuzaichi. It's sad but not suspicious that Mrs. Sazanami isn't included much in the meal- all signs from this chapter point to a joyless arranged marriage after all. Her not participating with her husband and sons speaks volumes about how distant and miserable she must have felt despite (presumably) making that spread. To provide care, comfort, and love while not being able to partake of it is all too common for mothers.

And so, another arc concludes with people sitting down to eat together despite some of them being doomed to die. And an exploding building. Gotta have both in Kagurabachi.

Kamunabi Arc

Chapter 45

Hey Chihiro, whatever happened to waking up with fresh hatred every morning? lmao

I love these goofs so much. It's just snacks on a coffee table, but it shows that Hiyuki and Tafuku have earned some level of trust from Team Goldfish. Shiba trusted them enough to supervise their stay in the same room as his sleeping nephews at least. And Char's already completely won over apparently. This manga does not miss on the found family wholesomeness.

Hiyuki might see the Kamunabi as a sort of family. At the very least, they're an important safety net for society as a whole. Hence us seeing the food again- protection and security.

So who and what will be next? Chihiro bonding with Hiyuki and Tafuku? Kazane turning someone's offer down? Chihiro, Hakuri, and some new coworkers chatting over lunch in the Kamunabi's cafeteria? I'm definitely going to be on the lookout! Until next time, Bachibros.

[vervainvoyage]

Starting the Second Dream quest! Going to share my thoughts chronologically, Warframe spoilers ahead:

...why does the sword talk? I'm just... ok. So the guy blowing up my DMs is NOT some random asshole, he's a very specific asshole, with a grudge. And now he has a talking sword with an even bigger grudge against Tenno and Lotus. Which- I'm assuming is Lotus's dad that I've heard during Natah. HOW IS HE A SWORD NOW

I've gathered at this point that the Orokins made me and other Tenno (Father speaks of it during the open world quest on Deimos). I thought that way back then Lotus was also an overseer for Tenno, and this is why she was able to destroy the Orokin, by giving Tenno different orders than the Orokin wanted, but I'm not sure now if that's the case... I also thought that Lotus WAS an ancient Orokin that rebelled, but I've seen the surviving Orokin and none of them wear the silly hats that Lotus and her father have on, so I have no idea WHAT she is anymore. Anyway, after using Tenno to destroy the Orokin, she was then ordered to also destroy the Tenno- and refused. Something happened - or more likely, she did something - to lock away all the other "people" like her (the Sentient mentioned there was more of them and they're displeased), hid the Tenno away, and... possibly wiped their memories along with the memories of their ship AI (Ordis). Only to wake us up, probably centuries later, for... who even knows why now.

So. Me being an uncoordinated dumbass and running into walls makes sense in canon, I was asleep for a very long time and I'm missing chunks of memory, so that tracks. Lotus killed/removed TWO powerful groups of people, good job girl. Probably with the Tenno helping her but still. And I have a very uncomfortable creepy guy blowing up my DMs, actively going after me with a sentient sword. I've wiped the floor with the guy every time he showed up, but I can't judge how good of a power-up a talking sword will be.

Also I hate the Oculists showing up and stressing out mom- erm, Lotus, by scrambling the signal so she can't monitor me for a moment. And they're just plain creepy.