#and also the fact that it's *akito's* kid. the zodiacs all have complicated feelings about akito so that would make it extra hard

[the-sage-libriomancer]

okay SO. important context is that i read Fruits Basket Another as physical volumes from my local library, and the second volume had JUST come out when i started reading the sequel series, so i had to wait several months before the final volume came out and made it to my library, which gave me plenty of time to hype myself up over this theory.

My brilliant fan theory was that Sawa Mitoma was actually Sawa Sohma, Akito and Shigure's first child. She was born in roughly the same time period as Mutsuki and Hajime, followed by her brother Shiki three years later. Unfortunately, Sawa was an easy target for Ren's spiteful misogamy, leading to an incident where Ren pushed little Sawa down a tall flight of stairs and nearly killed her. Sawa suffered several painful injuries including head trauma (she hit her head really hard on the concrete stairs) and was understandably traumatized by the incident.

Realizing that their daughter was traumatized and in serious danger, Akito and Shigure made the difficult decision to send Sawa away: they arranged for a third party (probably a suitably distant Sohma member) to take care of Sawa with a set allowance that the Sohmas gave them every month. Sawa didn't remember her family because she'd developed amnesia from the fall, or they asked Hatori to erase her memories, or both. Shiki became the new future house head, and now nobody talks about Sawa because it's too painful.

Sawa grew up believing Mrs. Mitoma was her mom, and she developed horrible self-esteem issues due to the constant neglect and verbal abuse she suffered every day. By chance, she ends up attending the same high school as the other Sohma kids. Naturally, all of the Sohma kids remember their cousin Sawa, but they're not allowed to talk to her or indicate that she's a Sohma. But being headstrong Sohma kids who were explicitly raised to be more positive and family-centric than the previous generation, there's no way they're going to just ignore her and act like she's a random stranger, hence why they constantly make efforts to bring Sawa into their fold over the course of the series.

it's been a while since i read the sequel series, but from i can recall, these were my "clues":

-Sawa repeatedly indicated she'd been in an accident when she was young, but couldn't remember the specifics. The incident involved her falling down a flight of stairs and suffering from physical injuries, including broken bones and head trauma, that pained her even years later. This was threaded into the story in a way that made it obvious it would be plot-relevant.

-the Sohma kids obviously knew something about Sawa and acted like they had a previous connection with her. Meanwhile, Sawa had no idea who they were and barely interacted with them before the events of the story.

-Shiki in particular definitely had some sort of history with Sawa, and he seemed to feel uncomfortable and guilty about something in their shared past. The story also gave Shiki and Sawa significant moments of connection, moreso than the other characters. Lots of bonding moments and lingering reaction shots, etc.

-Shiki is an only child and one of the youngest Sohma children, in contrast to all the Sohma kids who are high-school aged or older. And Sawa just happened to be high-school aged, even ending up in the same grade as Sohma kids who were born when the zodiacs who are Akito's age were having children.

-judging from that one panel where Akito is shielding Shiki from Ren, it can be assumed that Ren is still a toxic asshole who's willing to do monstrous things to people she hates, even (probably especially) to her grandchildren.

-Sawa lived with a single mother who regards her as a burden and frequently heaped verbal abuse on her, not to mention how much she neglected Sawa and left her to fend for herself.

-there were multiple hints that Mrs. Mitomi and the Sohmas were connected financially, specifically that one was receiving money from the other. The Sohmas were depicted as being a little uncomfortable around Sawa for this reason.

Obviously I realized that none of this was conclusive evidence. It's not like I went "it's extremely suspicious that Akito and Shigure didn't have a child immediately like the rest of the zodiacs" or "Sawa's mother is an abusive bitch so she can't be Sawa's real mother" or anything like that (i mean a HUGE point in the original series is that biological families can be extremely fucked up, and of course it makes sense that Akito and Shigure would wait to have a kid - they probably felt like they needed more time before they were ready to take care of a child). But in my head it was like the connecting dots meme. I was like "aha! the reason Shiki and Sawa's relationship has such heavy focus is because they're secret siblings!" and "ohhhh so the reason everyone's being so weird about Sawa is because she's actually their cousin!" and "okay, so obviously the Sohmas must be paying this random woman to take care of a child and that's why she thinks Sawa is such a burden!"

Anyway, obviously that is NOT what happened and you can imagine my reaction when the lawsuit nonsense was revealed and the two characters i'd decided were siblings ended up having explicit romantic tension lmao.

Looking back, i can see plenty of flaws with my reasoning. Like, would Akito and Shigure really send Sawa to live with some random person and let her believe that she was a different woman's daughter? Would they leave her to fend for herself, never checking up on her or realizing what a tool Mrs. Mitoma was? I mean, i guess they might've wanted to hide her in case Ren tried to find her again, but it just seems like an unnecessarily convoluted plan.

On the other hand, I liked that hypothetical twist much better than "the big secret is that Sawa's mother filed a very public wrongful lawsuit against the Sohmas (which feels tonally strange in FB's setting and also kind of weird bc of how un-thematic it is) and Sawa ends up having sexual tension with a 13 y/o boy with the implication that they're going to start a relationship" :/

throwback to the time i convinced myself that Sawa Mitoma was Shiki's mindwiped older sister.

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 8 RECAP AKA THE KYORU CHRONICLES PART 2 (plus a quick recap of eps 3-7)

aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gotta get it out of me otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on work and I will be scrolling through the tag till the day I die. Everything from episode 3 of Season 3 literally hit me like an avalanche - literally cos I marathoned 3-7 over the weekend which I wouldn't advise unless you want an accelerated heartbeat - and I'm starting to realise... maybe I just wasn't ready for season 3. Despite asking for it, haha. Not gonna put as many screencaps for this one cos tumblr editing bay be trippin and I just don't have time nor emotional energy to be fighting with the picture uploads, sorry lol

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Episodes 3 - 7

I spoke before about how (despite my feelings about the characters) the English dub VAs for Akito and Shigure pair up really well audibly. And I think I feel the same way about both Yuki and Machi's English VAs! They both have the same soft spoken yet scratchy element to their voices almost like they are holding slightly back. Although, I'd argue that Yuki has been losing the element of slightly holding back as the anime has gone on which I wonder if the same would be included for Machi's performance?

I really like the presentation of Machi's trauma through her family's expectations to be perfect and how physical it is? How Yuki kind of encourages her to let it out in a healthy way? (Btw the whole chalk breaking scene in the meeting was SO FUCKING SMOOTH. YUKI IS A NERD BUT HE IS SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL A LOT OF THE TIME)

The age gap between Isuzu and Haru for sure isn't the worst age gap in this anime/manga but it's still a bit... hmm...

Episode 4:

In all seriousness, I know Akito deserves some sympathy but it doesn't change the fact that I still see her as a villain. Hurt people hurt people but it doesn't mean they should get away with it, I was honestly pleased Haru got that big confrontation with Akito to tell her WHAT'S WHAT but it was also somewhat... merciful?

Hiro's growth has been so beautiful to see, him realising there are bigger things than him from the event with Rin to his relationship with Kisa to then the birth of his little sister.

Kureno choosing to get his hands a little dirtier and paying the ultimate price for it (as far as we know so far in the anime lol) was great, he is the moon side of Tohru's sunshine.

Shigure... I still don't really get him and Akito's relationship. It's clear he's waiting for Akito to grow the fuck up but at the same time he's not creating an environment for her to grow and develop. He's decided to go with the 'tough love' route which I'm still deciding whether I like it or not tbh. Sometimes it feels necessary, at other times it feels shitty. I respect that he knows he's a scumbag and I don't deny that there are people out there who take revelry in the fact that they are awful but at the same time, him remaining unchanging despite everything feels... unrealistic. But considering throughout this story he doesn't seem affected by trauma, it's understandable, I guess?

Also... that scene where Shigure ponders about whether he should've been with Tohru is THE creepiest creeper shit he's EVER done in this series. No. 🙅🏾‍♀️

Momiji is best bunny boi regardless of how tall and 'manly' he becomes. 🐰His scene with Akito was so authentically him and he really did that shit. We love him. <3

I love the way that the curse breaking should (on surface) be a happy event considering all the trauma the zodiac went through because of it but it's presented mostly as loss as well as happiness. It's the realness of getting out of a bad relationship

Shigure basically laying it out to Tohru how Kyo means nothing in a very taunting way was an excellently painful scene and I choose violence. It was heartbreaking seeing how worthless they all saw Kyo compared to how Tohru saw him but... by this point I was just living in the pain so 🤷🏾‍♀️

The story visually showing how Isuzu is more willing to be soft after her whole ordeal through her fashion choices (e.g. the pastels, the cardigans) was really nice. And Haru being happy about Isuzu making friends with Tohru was cute!

It was nice we saw that Kazuma was still wary about whether Tohru loved Kyo for the right reasons, you'd assume after everything Kazuma would love Tohru as a match for Kyo but he's so emotionally intelligent and also just a protective Dad! Yay, good parenting!

Tohru's confession to loving Kyo was amazing however I still adore Kyo's confession a little bit more. Just a bit. Lol. However, if you add the moment later in episode 8 it trumps it completely. Ethereal goddess.

Kyo and Tohru's grandfather having a scene together was great and nice

Now that I think about it, I wish there was more a visual link in the story between Tohru adapting her speech to imitate her Dad and Momiji adopting his Mum's German accent. Albeit for slightly different reasons, it just adds to the unique connection Tohru and Momiji have. In short, I'm seeing this ship with my third eye now. I get it lol

I don't wanna screencap the scene where Kyo is haunted by both his deceased mother and deceased Kyoko and potentially deceased Tohru because it's the stuff of nightmares. But, it was a wonderfully done scene. You definitely understand fully and clearly why Kyo buried all of that trauma under his hatred for Yuki (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9, YOU GUISE!)

If Akito is a villain, Ren is the final boss. Although, with her type of villainy... I feel like I can kind of enjoy a bit more. She reminds me of a Greek God in the ways she master manipulates people and her desperation for control and power (I just read 'Mythos' by Stephen Fry, it's a great read lol)

It lowkey feels like every female character who's comfortable in expressing their sexuality in this story is punished in some way for it... this is an incomplete thought

Shigure as a child feeling like they should all be pitied is so... mature... I feel like I need more of an explanation for why Shigure is the way he is

Akito's ego death with Kureno? Amazing. I loved that she was at least aware enough to realise how Kureno had been coddling her all this time but again... doesn't excuse her crimes

But anyways...

EPISODE 8

Honestly? I really don't have much to say about this episode besides 3-5 points I wanna get out of my head. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that there's still a lot left to play out from this 'arc' and this season in general that I wanna complete my thoughts on.

But I'll start with this:

Lol, isn't it funny?! Isn't it heart-wrenchingly funny how the relationship between Kyo and Tohru has kinda reverted back to how they were at the start of the series? The coldness of Kyo at the beginning of this episode (and throughout) was a bit of a gut punch considering all the light and fluffy moments that we've gotten between the two since the True Form arc.

Talking about the True Form arc, I feel like this episode is somewhat a repeat of the same emotions, same trials of the True Form arc. Kyo still 'runs away like he always has' but this time we get him being the most honest and confrontational with his own emotions and trauma than he ever has been during the course of this whole story. While trusting someone (Tohru specifically) for the first time with the whole truth of his story! He always seems to move one step forward and then three steps backwards and while it's a tad bit frustrating, it feels very... real. I'll probably complete my feelings how this arc reflects the True Form arc when we finish this section of the story in future episode(s).

Considering the fact that 80% of this episode is Jerry Jewell monologuing as Kyo and I never got bored really just sells his performance. Kyo was being incredibly cold this episode and yet the range of emotions through his performance made it feel understandable enough for you to empathise with it.

BrattyKid!Kyo to lighten the mood 😹I still wish he and Hiro had more of a relationship, I feel like they could have taught each other a lot. Well... mostly Kyo teaching Hiro tbh

Kyo rejecting Kyoka for her honesty and kindness and then later rejecting Tohru? Oh... kid...

Wow, I felt so good about that whole episode of Kid!Yuki helping Kid!Tohru get home and then it's slightly soured knowing KID!KYO was running about the streets alllll night into the morning?!?! I really did feel Kyo's frustration at not getting that win to actually do something right. And the irony of that being linked to him being unable to save Kyoka from the oncoming car?

Honestly, I don't know what my feelings are on Kyo being unable to save Kyoka. I don't even know what my feelings are on Tohru pretty much pushing that aside in favour of her feelings for Kyo. It's... complicated and I've been mulling it over in my head for the last 10+ years hahah However, if I was in Tohru's position I think I'd eventually come to a point where it feels like it's too late to really do anything about how bad I'd feel about it. Kyo's intentions weren't horrid, if anything he was just being a scared kid and he's allowed to be that. I just wish Tohru had a bit more time to evaluate it but considering she knew her mother well and assumes that wouldn't have been the full scope of what she had said, I don't have much of a problem with it in general

Lol, I love when Tohru gets a 'FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU' moment with Kyo. 😂Another reflected scene from the True Form arc... only thing is that this time... it doesn't quite work. 😕

(Again, I love how all of these reflections are resolved in later occurences in response to the duality but I'll get to it next week when it shows hopefully)

Laura Bailey only had a few sentences in this episode but she killed it as always. Comparing her performance in 2001 to now is just... growth!

Ok, so Yuki automatically gets Best Boi in this episode for meddling and chasing after KYO of all people. Showing how he's personally done with hating Kyo. Realising Kyo is pretty much the only person who'll make his mother happy. I think he also lowkey wants to understand Kyo? But, we'll get to that next week.

....Oh yeah, Akito is there.

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In total, I liked this episode even though it has me anxious for the next one. We finally get the full picture of why Kyo is the way he is! Ahhhh - a weight off all our chests, I'm sure. I kinda don't like that they put the ending theme at the end of these episodes - the joyfulness doesn't really match up with the intense theme? But, that's just a minor gripe. And hey, maybe they just want the audience to know... it's all gonna be okay :)

See you next week!!!

[stormcrowthegrey]

Based on episode 10 how do you interpret Shigure's feelings for Akito and what do you think his ultimate goal is?

Shigure’s feelings for Akito are complicated. They’ve been established before the start of the story and we get to see their backstory together in flashbacks. I’ll analyze their relationship in further detail below.

Spoilers ahead for anime only’s!

(this got long, btw lol I’m sorry! Read under the cut!)

Shigure is and always has been in love with Akito. It is because of this love that he has taken it upon himself to somehow break the curse so he can have Akito to himself and not worry about the other zodiac members having to subjugate themselves to her. And it seems to me that his way of breaking the curse is to not only have an outside influence (Tohru) affect the loyalties of the zodiac members towards Akito, but to also manipulate and drive Akito into a corner so that she loses control of the others. That’s just a hypothesis of mine. Dunno if that’s true at all. He does mention, if I recall, the fact that the curse has weakened over the years, so he could also be using that to his advantage. It’s like he’s trying to dethrone god. 

I would say he’s also trying to get the other zodiac members out from under Akito’s influence, but I don’t think he’s quite that honorable, lol that seems for him more like an added bonus to achieving his goal in getting the person he loves.

Now, when I say love, I don’t really mean love in its purest form like we see with Hatori and Kana or later on with Kyo and Tohru. Shigure’s love is childish; it’s selfish and possessive. To be honest, I think that passion would be a better word for his feelings towards her. 

Love is a choice one makes to cherish and honor someone else. It’s a desire to see said person happy; to esteem them above themselves, even if it costs one’s own happiness. 

Shigure is…well, not quite there when it comes to the selflessness aspect. He wants Akito for himself, and he lashes out in a childish way when it becomes clear that Akito is fine with using him just how she uses all the other male zodiac characters however she wishes. She even says that to him at one point: that he and all the other zodiac members are hers to use how she deems fit. This, in her eyes, justifies her treating Kureno special to the point where she uses him for emotional and sexual gratification.

And Shigure hates that. The fact that the only other person he probably loves as much as himself doesn’t see him as important enough to solely rely on him angers him. To him, he should be the only one getting special attention.

Let’s be honest, Shigure is a selfish character. Proud too, perhaps. I almost want to say narcissistic, but I haven’t really investigated that personality disorder enough to justify that statement. However, he makes it clear that no one is more important to him than himself and that he doesn’t feel emotions quite the same way everyone else does. And yet, here we have him saying how Akito is the person most important to him. Is he serious? Or is he just saying that to appeal to her?

This is where I think the selfish love comes in to play. Like I said, he doesn’t feel much emotions like everyone else, and I do think he was being serious when he said he only cares about himself. But then, we have the flashback to when he was a kid: the dream and the memory of him waking up overwhelmed and crying. I think this is, in fact, the only emotion he has ever felt besides apathy: that overwhelming passion he’s had since he was a little child - that passion for Akito. It’s an emotion he’s fascinated by but he doesn’t quite understand; it’s supernatural, almost. And I think it’s because of that, that he gets so upset when Akito (to put it bluntly) cheats on him. After all, it would suck to realize that the one person who you actually feel like you can love other than yourself doesn’t feel the same way towards you. For a person who is selfish like Shigure, that would prick his pride hard. 

Not that I’m saying it’s entirely Akito’s fault for Shigure’s actions. He’s definitely flawed and could have handled the situation better instead of sleeping with the worst person imaginable just to retaliate towards Akito. But we are dealing with a guy who is childish when it comes to getting what he wants, and when he doesn’t, he makes other pay for it and flaunts it over them just like a little kid would. His selfishness shines bright as day in the fact that he doesn’t seem to care that Akito’s fragile emotions are shattered when she discovers he slept with her abuser. To him, she deserves it for hurting him and feeling like she can use everyone to her own whims. 

And yet, he stays by her even as he taunts her. He does all this so they can be together. Is he selfish and proud? Yes, but I don’t think he’s inherently evil. There is genuine love there, deep down, that perhaps needs to be cultivated and worked on.The two of them have a long way to go before it could be said that they have a healthy relationship that’s free of possessiveness and selfishness, but to be honest, I think that there is room for improvement and it slowly begins to show at the end of the manga.

[madefate-a]

what are kureno's thoughts and feelings on his fellow zodiac members? i'm particularly curious about the ones we don't get to see him spend a lot of time with

// headcanons !! &. @lucemedi

cracks m’ knuckles, rolls my neck out. okay, so. we know my Brand™ is complicating things so it should come as no surprise that this is !! complicated !! furuba’s universe is incredibly nuanced and kureno, ensconced at its heart, is similarly nuanced. exploring his feelings about the other juunishi does require looking at how circumstance has shaped him as a person, the others around him, and the way he viewed relationships. 

bb!kureno is the most straightforward iteration we see, both by virtue of the nature of childhood as well as the lack of complications surrounding the curse breaking, so let’s start there! and, of course, this is largely personal headcanon, based on just the few snippets we get from the manga. canonically, we know that kureno held a deep respect and adoration for shigure. despite the fact that of the mabudachi trio, shigure was least receptive to his presence ( or, in my headcanon, partly because of that ), kureno thought he absolutely hung the moon. that’s not to say, though, that he didn’t hold a sort of reverence for ayame & hatori as well – he’d often hover on the outside of their group, half hoping they’d ignore him thus allowing him to listen in, and half hoping they’d relent and include him. it happened occasionally ! and it established a foundation that would allow kureno to keep some kind of relationship with hatori & ayame in later years. 

of everyone as a child, kureno was closest with ritsu. kureno has always had a curious, open, and soft heart and it complemented ritsu’s own personality. their relationship was among the strongest and least strained that kureno has had with anyone he’s known, barring the intensity of what he has with akito and shigure. he deeply cares for ritsu’s wellbeing, and finds that he holds their relationship in his heart as something precious – and something that he can and does maintain after he breaks off ties with the house later on. 

so as we turn the corner on the curse breaking, we have to establish some things – the environment does play a huge factor here. when it comes to discussing the juunishi, we have to keep in mind that the entire situation is laced with a cycle of abuse that makes for some distorted thinking. kureno is thirteen when the curse breaks and, given that it happens in isolation and what immediately follows after, it’s a traumatic turning point. it fundamentally shifts his relationship with the family not just on an emotional level but on a physical one. it’s something i’ve explored in his relationship with akito, but he finds that he can no longer connect with them in the way he once could – as if the curse severing has clouded over the memories of what it felt like to live with another soul, and as if he hears the other juunishi through water or glass, irrevocably differently. 

therefore, his relationship with the younger members will always be fundamentally different. physically, due to the separation of the curse and the separation of himself, his impressions of them are a little dulled – there’s no instant connection like he had with shigure or ritsu. he has little opportunity to overcome that physical difference given the lack of time he spends with them. this doesn’t mean, of course, that he doesn’t have opinions. i tend to shy away from calling any character entirely pure or with entirely good intentions – but i do think that to whatever extent he’s able, kureno has an innate tendency to care about others and try to place them first. which lands him in a bad pattern with akito, but also leads him to the conclusion that if he can, he’d like to keep the younger members of the zodiac away from the main house. 

it’s a quiet form of it, but he does feel protective of them. you can see it in how he reacts to the situation with rin, and then later with haru – as much as his thinking has been trained to orbit around akito, all it takes is seeing rin in danger to crystallize what he considers the right choice – taking care of her. then defusing the confrontation between akito & haru. even his second conversation with tohru, when he catches her on the estate, points to the fact that he knows that staying away from the main house will be best for them. ( “this isn’t a place for children.” ) 

but it’s not only protectiveness – it’s awe. he is constantly impressed by the kids when he sees them; yuki and momiji and new year’s, haru’s defense of rin, rin’s survival, kyou’s constant strength. even kisa and kagura, neither of them he sees much, impress him with their vibrancy and kindness. the most salient thing he feels is that all of them, akito included, deserve something less – difficult than the life and the curse they bear. ( it’s hard to have the right language for this kind of toxicity when you’re in the middle of it, and contributes to how long it takes him to find the right path and then act on it. ) 

post curse, he does his best to start new and he’d be happy to leave most of the family to their own devices. but humans are pretty resilient creatures and he finds he doesn’t have to break off all his ties for the greater good. he does have one last conversation with shigure where he admits that he only hates himself for the situation, largely because he’d make the same choices ( i definitely won’t be able to find that drabble tonight & i’ll probably have to rewrite it, it’s at least six years old by now w h o o p s ) and he does sever the relationship after that. the family member that he makes a point to stay in contact with, by phone calls and letters, is hatori. given the nature of how isolated he was, kureno perhaps put more stock in what they had through their adult years as, out of anyone, he saw hatori the most both as a matter of proximity as well as the fact they both worked to maintain the estate. but he has always appreciated hatori for who he is as a person and would prefer to stay in contact with him. renewing and maintaining his relationship with ritsu brings him nothing but joy, and he does wind up seeing kyou & yuki more frequently than he thought he would! 

[sobdasha]

I know tomorrow’s ep is gonna ruin me

so I might as well start a ~thoughtful post~ about it ahead of time.

Specifically, the thing I anticipate wrecking me the most is that Tohru's "let's go home" speech to Kyou isn't a love-and-acceptance speech.

It's a fuck-you speech.

I wanted to do a meta post about this because while this is a very powerful moment and gives me very powerful feels, I've also always kind of not got it? Like what makes this moment with Tohru special? Because she's scared? Other people were scared too, the fact that they tried to deny it kind of proves how scared they were. And Kyou said she didn't have to love everything and she kind of basically said "too bad I love everything anyway" so how was that a compelling argument? Everyone else here (Kazuma, Kagura) has behaved selfishly so why does Tohru's selfishness fix the problem?

Like with that Hiro post, I figure if I just keep pondering and typing eventually I'll figure it out and go "oh snap Takaya's brilliant"

Anyway.

I've always been tempted to read Tohru's "let's go home" speech to Kyou as a love-and-acceptance speech. Which is a waste of a good resource, and a huge disservice, because thinking that way tends to reduce Tohru to the Mary Sue stereotype that Hiro accuses her of being--all Tohru has to do is stand there and say a few nice things and suddenly everyone's problems melt away? Seriously?

((Doing more skimming research later in this post, it turns out I'd completely forgotten that Akito and Kyou literally have a whole conversation about this, where Akito's like "wow St. Tohru is unreal" and Kyou's like "you literally missed the point tho." My bias for Yuki as favorite character instead of Best Boy Kyou is unfortunately strong, guys.))

Which is probably why I find the True Form arc to be a bit forgettable when I don't have it open in front of me. And also why I've always found it a little illogical. While I love the end results, why is this particular love-and-acceptance speech, at this specific time, actually effective for Kyou?

Kyou's received a lot of love-and-acceptance speeches in his life, and to be quite honest he doesn't believe them. He has no faith in them. And he's got logic here.

Kyou's mother always told him she loved him, she loves her son, she's proud of her son, you're not a monster you're just...under an evil spell temporarily, and I'm not scared at all. She talked the talk, but Kyou was always sensitive to the fact that her actions didn't necessarily match her words (she was always, always scared, I think. Maybe a bit of Kyou, but mostly of her husband). And when it became too much and she gave up on herself and her future and took her own life, well. Kyou knew exactly how empty "love and acceptance" was.

Kagura was the first one to play with Kyou when they were kids, and she's devoted her life to telling Kyou that she loves him, she loves everything about him. But when she saw Kyou's True Form she ran away, kept her distance for a while, and then came back and pretended nothing had ever happened and restarted her dating campaign with a vengeance. It's not clear to me whether Kyou ever realized that Kagura started paying attention to him out of pity, but I suspect it's something he's pretty good at picking up on.

Kazuma adopts Kyou out of a mix of pity and an attempt to atone for his past behavior, like Kagura, and honestly I'd forgotten that Kyou literally says a couple of times that he suspects pity was a factor. But their relationship grows beyond that pity, even Kyou is sensitive to that, and it's not something he holds against Kazuma. So I'm sure Kazuma gives Kyou plenty of earnest love-and-acceptance speeches, given that he loves and accepts his son. But even so it's complicated for Kyou, and those speeches can't make Kyou love and accept himself.

Tohru, of course, gives all the Soumas plenty of love-and-accepting speeches, and Kyou is no exception, Kyou you have a plum on your back. This doesn't serve to make Kyou like himself so much as it serves to make Kyou like her.

This time, though. This time that's not the kind of speech Tohru gives Kyou. Look at Tohru's face, right as she turns around. She's determined and she's pissed.

This is a good character development for Tohru! I think this is her first real, stubborn attempt to be selfish without someone having pushed her towards it first.

Kyou has just hurt Tohru, physically and emotionally. Get the fuck away, he tells her. I can't stand you, he tells her. I don't ever want to see you again, he tells her, and if I do I'll take my claws to your face next time.

And Tohru starts to go. This whole thing is overwhelming and it's only been like 10 minutes and she hasn't processed at all yet. She's hurt, she's really hurt, but most of all she doesn't want to be a bother, she doesn't want to be a burden, she doesn't want to be hated, Kyou has clearly expressed his feelings and she should respect that.

And then Tohru stops and draws herself up and makes that face.

And runs back.

And grabs Kyou and tells him, fuck you, what about my feelings, come home. I literally don't understand what the fuck is going on, I'm sick and I'm scared and come home. I don't want you to give up on yourself, but you don't get to give up on me before you've even given me a chance to process this and decide if I'm okay keeping you in my life. And guess what, fucker, I still want you in my life so come home because I don't want to live in a house that doesn't have you in it. You told me to tell you that so listen. You have to return the favor and tell me when you're upset and let me care about you so just come home.

Obviously Tohru phrases it differently but I feel like that's the accurate gist of the hysterics lol.

Tohru doesn't say "oh it's okay I love you it's not...it's not that scary! Trust me!", which is a thing Kyou has learned not to trust.

Tohru says "I know this sucks but bitch what about me" which is, honestly, one of the things Kyou feels in regards to his mom that he's yet to unpack, so this really resonates with him. This is real.

(It's real and it's raw and Laura Bailey is going to destroy me and I can't wait to actually be debilitated by the True Form arc.)

I don't have a good transition but now I wanna talk about Kyou's relationship with pity

Pity in regards to Kyou is something that comes up a lot throughout the series. Kagura befriends Kyou out of pity so that she can feel good about herself. Kazuma pities Kyou after seeing the shit the Cat has to go through and takes him in. Kazuma worries that Tohru might only be with Kyou out of pity, like his grandmother towards his grandfather. I believe Shigure tells Tohru at one point "seriously did you really think we don't all know about Kyou and we aren't all pitying him and saying 'thank god it's not me, I'm getting off great compared to the Cat' to ourselves in secret?" And of course, Kyou himself says that he doesn't want or need Tohru's pity during the True Form confrontation.

Pity can be condescension and looking down on someone. Pity is something unequal, compared to compassion, something that might imply insult, something that's embarrassing to receive because it implies you can't get compassion on your own merits or your own level. And pity is something forced.

Thinking about this, I think Kyou can actually really relate to Rin (which might be part of why he was so jealous that she might take Shishou from him when Kazuma got concerned about her welfare, that similarity, in addition to the obvious fact that Kyou has just got a good thing and it's his good thing and don't take it from him). Rin's parents, presumably out of some combo of pride and pity and status, decided to force themselves to make a good show of being a happy family. And because they forced themselves to "love" Rin, it went to hell in a bullet train when it broke.

Kyou's mom went a similar-enough way. She tried to put on a show of normalcy, tried to force herself to be okay and say all the right, loving things to Kyou while her husband kept telling her that she'd shamed him, bad enough to have a cursed child but of all the Zodiac you gave birth to the cat monster, you should have died rather than have that child, we'd all be better off if you'd do us a favor and just die. And when the pressure got to be too much, she did just that.

So I think it's not unreasonable that Kyou might have separately come to the same conclusion that Rin does. Pity--forced love--breaks people. People who feel compelled to love you will get burnout and possibly explode and definitely have their lives ruined. (This is why Rin doesn't want to rely on Haru, doesn't want Yuki to rely on Haru, doesn't want anyone to rely on Tohru.)

This is, I think, half of why Kyou distances himself from people. Half of it is to protect himself, because obviously he doesn't like getting hurt. But half of it is to protect other people, because he doesn't want them getting hurt.

He does it with Tohru, trying not to get close to her (he already killed her mom, the least he could do is just never get involved with her again), trying to run her off during the True Form arc by hurting her so badly that she won't regret having nothing to do with him again. He does it to Kazuma, yelling "He's not my dad!" so people will stop saying the shit they associate with Kyou to Kazuma as well (directly after the True Form, Kyou levels up his character development and tells Kazuma that one day he'll be worthy of calling Shishou his dad in public, which is good, although the fact that Kyou still thinks he is currently not someone Kazuma can claim as a son without shame is a development Kyou will have to work on later).

And, ohhh shit, I'm pretty sure Kyou does this with Kagura too. Kagura says that Kyou is the first one to pull back after their own True Form incident (she later admits to herself that no, actually, the first one to pull away was her because she never invested herself in their friendship in the first place because pity). And that is probably, again, partly because Kagura freaked out and ran off and just left Kyou there, and Kyou doesn't want any further rejection from her. Partly because it probably got around, and Kyou's dad made sure Kyou's mom heard about it, and Kyou's mom tried to make peace by keeping a tighter rein on Kyou.

But before the incident, Kyou and Kagura are really good friends, and Kyou really enjoys being with her. After the incident, after they mutually avoid each other, after Kagura comes back around and pretends that nothing happened, after Kagura reaffirms that she loves Kyou no matter what, that's when Kyou starts pushing back for her to leave him alone.

Maybe it's just Kyou's usual touchiness and I'm reading too much into it. It's not terribly long after the incident that Kyou's mother ends her life, and Kyou's being blamed for it instead of being allowed to grieve, and he blames himself, and after that he's a different kid and he's really prickly and quick to anger around everyone except Shishou.

But I don't think it's unreasonable to put forward that Kyou still liked Kagura as a friend, and he saw how Kagura reacted, and pretending nothing was wrong was part of what killed his mom, and if he still likes Kagura as a friend then the best thing Kyou can do for her is to shove her forcefully away from him, over and over, until she stops associating with him and getting hurt because of it. Before she gets hurt badly.

Like I put somewhere in an earlier post, Kyou doesn't like Kagura romantically. He certainly doesn't like having his space violated and his feelings ignored. But he (grudgingly) lets her get a way with a lot that speaks to a certain tenderness towards her. Especially later, during Kagura's confession--he's not warm and he's not close and open to her, but he also listens to Kagura, he forgives her, he says thank you, and when she runs to him he lets her cry into his shirt until she's through. You aren't that accommodating to someone you don't care about.

(On the flip side, it occurs to me that--for all that Kagura is a jealous rival of Tohru for Kyou's love--Kagura doesn't come around and act like it much. As Tohru points out, Kagura's really been holding back. I think that Kagura's being honest when she adds at the end of her confession that she really did come to love Kyou after all. It's unrequited, and she's always known that, and she's been struggling with it since Tohru came into the picture. But I think deep down she does like Kyou enough to want him to be happy, and she's realizing that he might be able to be happy with Tohru in a way he can't be with Kagura, and it's super embarrassing and painful to have to admit that to herself, but she's been working on letting go even though she herself doesn't want to be doomed to a life of unloved loneliness, which is what she believes will happen if she lets go of Kyou. Kagura, like Hiro, has character development struggles that are mostly internal.)

Things I only just realized about Kyouru

I have talked before about the fact that Kyou and Tohru's relationship works because they can get to the heart of each other and really see each other and connect on the same level in a way no one else does with them. What I did not really think of, at the time, is that Kyou and Tohru are actually very similar. They actually have a very similar problem.

Which just goes to show my intense Yuki bias, because Kyou has flat-out said over and over again that he believes himself to be a burden and I guess I didn't notice??

And I've just spend so much time saying that this is Tohru's biggest anxiety.

They differ a bit in the execution. Tohru considers herself as starting off at a net zero, basically: she doesn't exactly think her existence is problematic, but she doesn't feel that she offers any worth or value to compensate for the efforts she takes from other people, so she's terrified of being a burden and thus causing people to resent and hate and reject her.

Kyou considers himself as starting off at a negative: he has nothing of any worth to offer to people around him, and he believes that just being around him is actively detrimental to other people, so he just assumes people naturally hate him and avoids everyone and pushes away people who try to get close to him, especially people he loves. (He makes some exceptions when he really really loves, like keeping Shishou at arm's length in some regards but basking in his dad the rest of the time, and giving into his fondness for Tohru even though he knows it's going to go bad.)

Tohru's had her worldview reinforced by being abandoned by a young and grieving Kyouko. Kyou's had his worldview enforced by being told that people who are kind to him die of it.

Kyou's mom loved him more than anyone; Kyou's mom died for him/died because it's his fault. Kyouko was nice to Kyou; Kyou's secret is safe at the cost of Kyouko dying from that car. The beads that keep sealed the Cat's true form are made from the bones and blood of a priest; the way people retell the story implies that Kyou straight-up murdered this guy ages ago, or at least that Kyou's taking advantage of a sacrifice that was forced and not willing. (I mean honestly it could go either way, but lately I've been thinking that it seems unlikely you'd go murder some holy guy to make some beads to seal up a cat monster that you hate when you could just murder the cat monster, don't tell me olden days Souma wouldn't just find that simpler; it seems to me like the sort of effort you'd go through for someone you actually cared minimally about, and that the priest probably devoted himself to holiness for just such a reason, probably offered to have a holy death and create a protective relic. Not that that would make Kyou feel any better.)

This probably ties back into the whole pity thing...Kyou doesn't want people to feel compelled to love him, to force themselves to love him, because not only do they not get any benefit but he has actively negative worth and it hurts people to be around him. Kyou, like Tohru, finds it hard to accept that people might not see it as a burden or a harm to be kind to him. That they might want to be kind to him and enjoy his presence. These children can't just let themselves take the damn donuts.

And that's probably the why of why Kyou, specifically, and not Yuki, is so good at noticing Tohru's issues and actively pushing her to be selfish. It's hard to help yourself, but it can be easier to see yourself in others and give them the advice that you yourself won't take. Let yourself be selfish and live a life that makes you happy. Complain when you need to. Let yourself have some donuts when donuts are being handed out, even if you don't think you deserve them/some jerks have told you you don't deserve them and you're a fake for taking a donut.

(I'm not sure Kyou's ever actually heard this bit, and I don't have time to unpack it right now, but uggghhh I just remembered that Tohru low-key blames herself for her mother's death as well. If she'd been more grateful...if she'd had her priorities straight and her mother was the most important thing in her life, more important than trying her best in school...if she'd just managed to say "Come home safe", then her mom wouldn't have died, and because she was an ungrateful daughter and didn't say it that one time she lost her mom. Nnnn my heart.)

Again I don't have a good transition, but as I think about all this I think I get why Kyou is able to accept Tohru's fuck-you speech as being a real and sincere thing he can depend on instead of instantly assuming it's pity. He's probably not thinking straight enough to realize that Tohru's just taken a level in character development and is being remarkably selfish and open about what she wants from him, not just yet.

But looking at Kyou's past experience with True Form reveals…

Kyou's mom tries to reassure Kyou that everything is fine and normal. She smiles and says all the right things and pretends not to be perturbed. Tohru, as Kyou notes, is clearly not fine about things, she's overwhelmed and sick and scared and clinging to him while shaking and crying. "Can't you see?! Smell?!" Kyou demands when Tohru doesn't instantly run off, but it's pretty clear she does because Tohru isn't smiling, isn't trying to pretend this doesn't bother her. She's undeterred, yes, but she's very bothered.

Kagura's scared too, when she sees, and Kagura runs away. Tohru's scared and she runs toward. Again, Tohru's not hiding her fear even if she's not letting her fear stop her, Tohru's not smiling her serene smile, Tohru clearly would rather run away and go "what the fuck?!?!?!" for a while before dealing with the fallout. Tohru's not a saint, Tohru's just slightly more scared that she'll never see Kyou again after this if she leaves now than she is of Kyou's true form. She's kind of almost passed through the other side of terror into desperation.

Tohru's biggest anxiety is that she'll be abandoned for being a burden, true, but Tohru also is terrified of being preemptively abandoned because the other person has decided they're a burden for Tohru. That's exactly what Hana tried to do in middle school. Hana tried to give up on Uo and Tohru.

"Give up on" isn't a phrase used in the True Form arc, but it comes up plenty elsewhere. Momiji says much later that he's done giving up on the Cat. More specifically, when Kyou's unpacking his complicated feelings about his mom and her death, he says at one point that he wishes she hadn't given up on herself and had stayed together with him. And since mom plays into the True Form arc (as does the "being together" sentiment), I feel it's valid to drag the "giving up on" idea into it as well.

Kyou tries to give up on Tohru--decides for himself that she'll reject him, so he rejects her first and pushes her away so she won't force herself to take pity on him and keep forcing herself to love him--and Tohru probably realizes that he's doing it, since she saw it before with Hana. She's determined to go back to Kyou because she's prioritizing her own wants, but I think probably the reason she also looks pissed is because she's realized Kyou's given up on her and she's not gonna let him get away with it.

I think Kyou wishes that he could cling to people, could have clung to his mom and told her not to give up, the way Tohru is clinging to him there. That he could admit that things suck and are scary and painful, but that he wants to keep clinging on regardless and staying together without anyone giving up, the way Tohru is doing right now. Instead of, like everyone else, pretending that shit is fine even though it sucks and it's scary and it's painful and then giving up on the people around him and keeping a distance.

Kyou recognizes what Tohru feels--and that what Tohru feels is sincere--because it's the same feelings he has about his mom. Which is why, even though it sounds a bit like a Saint Mary Sue love-and-acceptance speech, it's a fuck-you that hits Kyou right in the heart and makes Kyou feel accepted and understood for the first time in his life. Not because Tohru is perfect, but because Tohru is flawed and broken and a terrified mess.

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S2 EPISODE 19 + 20 RECAP

Hello!! Decided to pair my recap of episode 19 and 20 together since they both kinda flow into each other and explore the same message in different ways through Yuki and Rin. It’s a really nice and interesting flow of story!

Let’s get into it!

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- Ok, let me get my Shigure hatred out of the way cos I really like some of the stuff he says later. But the fact that he even ATTEMPTED to try and joke about him and Rin having a relationship after we just had that really dodgy scene earlier in the season with him and Rin in his office makes me wanna kick him in the teeth. Anyways...

all the scenes that take place on these stairs are always stunning and i just wanted to show some appreciation of that first. ✨

I love this scene between Hatori and Shigure (I love most scenes between them tbh). I’m beginning to understand that Shigure is for sure the type who believes in ‘using the lesser evils to kill the greater evil’. And, I guess my view of Shigure gets a lot more complicated when I see him through that lens... 

But, I do secretly love very deep down in my soul when Shigure says stuff like this and kinda acts like a trickster God. I have a weakness for trickster Gods.

- Rin feeling both intensely protective about the kind people in her life vs wanting to push them away is actually very reminiscent of our favourite cat, Kyo! Gave me a lot of reminders of this scene:

That uncomfortableness with vulnerability and kindness runs strong with these zodiac kids. It’s sad.

Everyone eventually folds in to Tohru. God tier? (I’m still working on my Tohru is an empathetic God essay)

Aii-ya...

But again, I appreciate how this thought follows through to a resolution and message of ‘needing people’ at the end of episode 20. I’ll get to that later.

- Every time. I love how these moments of Tohru supporting the zodiac are always highlighted by being in the darkness of the night (or rain) to the brightness of the dawn (or clear skies). Poetic. Tohru is a god.

Shigure’s so on point in this episode. I know he’s essentially ‘seed planting’ but... I... might just give him the title of Best Boi for this episode? Yeah... why not 😅

I. LOVE. KIMI. SOOO MUCH. 😂 Her love for chaos is amazing and I love her! Again! Trickster Gods!!! <3 

I CAN’T. Kakeru bickering with Yuki like a scorned lover. Haru essentially being happy for Yuki and playing along (or maybe he was being fully serious, he would). Kakeru being ridiculous and dramatic. It’s alllll gooood!

- The whole scene with Shigure, Kyo, Yuki and Tohru at dinner with the dessert felt all so normal and domestic! It was great, we haven’t had many ‘regular’ scenes since season 1 and it brought me back a little (Also, Tohru noticing how Kyo has been paying more attention to her in the most Tohru of ways was cute as well 👀)

She did look really cute!!! Of course, Rin’s getting Outfit Appreciation cos of course. That’s it. 4 stars.

I love how this is worded and it’s the perfect description for a toxic family setting, in all situations (like... even without the whole cursed to turn into animals thing). Furuba gets so uncomfortably personal sometimes! And again, mixing this with Yuki’s lesson at the end of episode 20 leads to an interesting conclusion... which I wonder if people would be offended by it... but I’ll get to that later.

Lol, as much as I really appreciated that someone had finally asked Tohru the ‘real question’ of why she’s working so hard to break the curse anyway. Rin’s emotional intelligence and empathy to back down from pressing her about it was really lovely.

In general, I really love that none of the characters are just archetypes. Rin could’ve been written like the bad-ass one with an attitude and an awful past but she also ends up being so emotionally intelligent and caring and loving! SO much! 

Also, showing that love can have many unexpected ways of being displayed and expressed. Something which is an ongoing conversation throughout this series...

- The whole scene of Tohru being in bed but dreaming that she was back in her old apartment with her Mum was painfully amazing and definitely relatable. It’s always so haunting when dreams like that happen in general and the look on Tohru’s face at the end when she opens the door just added to it:

Chilling!

Especially if you find a parallel between Tohru’s desperation to be together with her mother to Akito’s desperation to be together with the zodiac...

Tohru is a god

EPISODE 20!!

- Tohru continuing to be a worried mother about Yuki is sweet but also... it’s like... ‘he’ll be okayyyy, Tohru!’ Haha but it’s okay, I think that it’s shown towards the end of this episode that this is kinda the nature of their relationship and Tohru was reassured that Yuki will be ok

Ah, Yuki! How cool of you!!! <3 

(Although the original sub version of this was hilarious with the sudden drop in his voice 😂)

- Goddamn it, Kakeru! Between him throwing the papers and him knocking the plants over the other episode, I’m beginning to think this is an impulse for him as well... 🤨

Haha, turns out I was right!

It’s really great how much Kakeru and Yuki’s relationship has grown to where they can trust each other with secrets or private stuff while they’re both separately dealing with their own lives. It’s just really nice :)

Said so well. Yuki gets Best Boi of this episode, of course.

But seriously, this is a really great display of having to accept trauma to therefore move on. Of course, what Yuki, Kakeru and Rin’s parents do is cruel and wrong in so many ways, but you can’t rely on the option that they’ll eventually get better because so many times that’s not the case.

Yuki specifically has come to a result of him accepting his fate of having these shitty people in his life through family ties but is also adapting the way he can move on personally and grow up despite his shitty circumstances. I said this might be controversial to say as it’s not on the victim who should have to change and be better, it’s the abuser. And there’s a chance someone could read this scene and feel like the show is saying otherwise but I also think there’s a realness to having difficult family members that you may have to be tied to through circumstances.

In conclusion, I’m not saying it’s on the victim of a situation to have to adapt to their situation, that shouldn’t be so. But, at this point, if any of these characters want to grow and develop and just live, they unfortunately need to fight for it. They can’t rely on their abusers somehow becoming better.

- Yuki’s growth is highlighted so much throughout this whole episode but I think I love the scene with his mother the most and showing that while Yuki has grown and no longer even acknowledges his mother as a threat anymore that his mother as well is growing and trying (again, in her own way). Also, Yuki’s awkward face remembering that moment was adorable :3

Aha! <3

- Lol I low-key wanna see Tohru as an evil step-sister as much as I wanna see Hana and Kyo pairing up to be Cinderella and the Prince just to see how chaotic it’d be 

- The closet scene with the black paint really could’ve gone worse if Yuki was still the same as he was in season 1! While Yuki still had an anxious reaction to the situation which was more than understandable (as Kakeru said <3), I love that he’s in a place now where he can almost pick himself up now, be honest about his feelings and he has other people around to go to now for help! In different friendship circles! Wow.

- Machi knocking down the door for him in a silent mutual acknowledgement is so weirdly... gentle.

A MOTHER!!!

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I really like how the message interwove over two episodes in different contexts. And I hope I was clear in explaining how I saw how the messages came through in different perspectives.

Fruits Basket, coming through with the painful reality! 🥲

(Sorry for the weird ending) See you sooon!!