#and also the fact hotch said they had been working together for 3 years ?? so spencer was 21 when he joined and was paired w hotch

[wheelsupin-five]

Temptation Tuesday!!

Thank you sm @fatedbuddie for tagging me !! I'm once again doing it super late <\3

Okay but rn bc of that tiktok you sent me I'm thinking of my missing scene fic that takes place maybe a week or two post LDSK/01x06 bc I CANNOT stop thinking abt the look on Spencer's face when hotch was talking shit abt him bc NOONE can convince me s1 reid could act that well okay even if at the end he knows hotch was just saying what he needed too you cant tell me that didnt hurt him and that he didnt think it was based in truth ,, anyway hotch pulls him aside a couple weeks later or whatever to check on him bc hes been really quiet and distant and spencer is like oh . I'm just trying not to annoy you/anybody (bc you KNOW that's a comment he got a lot as a kid too) and hotch is like ??? Why would you think that and spencer brings up what he said in LDSK and hotch realises that he actually hurt him and apologises and they talk it out :) I love hurt/comfort <3

Anyways I once again wont tag anyone bc it's super not Tuesday but if you wanna do it concider yourself tagged !!

[gamma-rae-bursts]

Home is Where the Heart Is

Yn is a former BAU agent, currently working at Georgetown. She met Alex whilst working for the FBI and is navigating her life with her and their son, Ethan.

Pairing: Alex Blake x Reader

Content Warnings: kind of CM case talk

Word Count: 1800+

Genre: Family Fluff

A/N: I'm going to stand by the fact that Alex Blake is the softest of the soft people, hence this needed to happen. I also hate how little recognition Ethan got in the show so I'm gonna give my boy what he deserves here. I'm thinking of making this into a series of one shots, different Blake Fam x Reader scenarios (may include some angst, knowing me it will) so please let me know what you think of this <3)

Joining the BAU was a dream come true, your way of making the world a safer, better place. And it just so happened to come with many other advantages. Although the beginnings were a little rough for you, feeling very out of place while being surrounded with FBI’s finest agents, soon enough they made you feel like a part of the family, like you truly belonged with them. And throughout the years you got to be a part of the team you’ve formed some of the best friendships with people that you knew you could trust with your life. But there was this one agent you held especially close to your heart, Alex Blake. Ever since she joined the team, the two of you were inseparable. One evening she finally asked you out on a date, to which you have immediately agreed. Falling in love with Alex was easy. Loving her even more so. Months went by and with that your relationship grew, soon enough you were introduced to her son, Ethan. The most precious little boy to ever exist. Not so long after that you moved in together and just a few months in Alex asked you to marry her. And this was your life now, you’ve never been happier.

But there were some definite downsides of the job. After all, there is only so much a human can take, the BAU knew it better than anyone else. There is only so much evil you can be exposed to before it starts consuming you from the inside out. You used to hold onto the last string of hope in each investigation, the hope that the last missing person would be found alive and there would be a somehow happy ending to this story. But at some point, even that was not enough. Over the years you’ve seen some of the worst horrors this world had to offer, you were met with death and misery at every step of your days. You’ve seen families torn apart, lives snatched away prematurely, unnecessary pain inflicted onto so many individuals. You’ve seen enough. You’ve had enough.

Making the decision to leave the team was not easy. You’ve spent countless hours contemplating whether or not to make that step before even mentioning anything to Alex. And after weeks of thinking, weeks of constant arguments in your head, making lists of pros and cons to both options, you finally decided that your time with the team has come to an end. 

Breaking the news to the team was easier said than done. You made a detailed plan how to tell each and every one of them personally, but when the time to put the words into action came you came up with a much better idea. Hotch was the first one, after all he was the person you handed your resignation letter to. Penelope was the second in line (or so she thought), you couldn’t stop yourself from making fun of her for the last time. In reality, you told the whole team that you were leaving and what your plan was, except for her. You knew the blonde woman could not hold a secret in for the life of her, so you all made bets on how long it will take her to spill the tea. When you broke the news to her, one on one, you talked about it as if you didn’t want the rest of the team to know. It took her a whole hour and thirty-four minutes to break, telling everything you told her to Morgan and Spencer. 

That was it. You were no longer an agent working for the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Just a short few weeks after leaving you managed to secure yourself a nice position as a lecturer at Georgetown University, finally putting your PhD in Biological Sciences to use. 

***

Working at Georgetown was peaceful, the change you so desperately needed. There wasn’t much going on, your days mostly consisted of teaching, going over the material for your classes and marking your students’ papers. To some it might seem a little too boring, but you loved the newly found routine. 

After finishing marking of the last papers, you’ve had for the day it was time to go home. Alex was away on a case for the past few days and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t hope for a phone call from her, telling you that they’re on their way back. 

Just as you got into your car the sound of your ringtone filled the space, getting rid of the silence that previously surrounded you. You smiled to yourself as you read the name that popped up on your screen.

“Hi honey.” the soft voice on the phone spoke, “I think I might have some good news for you.” Alex added, you could tell she was smiling from the way her voice sounded.

“Please tell me you’re coming home; I don’t think anything else would classify as good news at this point.” you replied to the brunette, hopeful you got it right.

“I am, indeed, we’re wrapping up at the station and we’re going to head straight to the jet.” your fiancé said with the usual for her calmness, you, on the other hand, could not contain our excitement. “I’ll see you in a few hours?”

“I can’t wait! I’ve missed you so much baby, so did Ethan” you stated, your voice filled with excitement. “He’s been begging me to do crosswords with him at least five times a day and you know how much I suck at them”

“Oh, come on, you’re not that bad” Alex chuckled, “I’m sure you’ve got at least one of the words right.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled at your fiancés’ words, the bar for you was set really low, yet somehow you still managed to underperform. “Nope, not a single one, I don’t think Ethan will ever stop making fun of me for that.” Alex laughed as the words left your mouth, “but what can I say, I’d like to see either of you in my lab”

“I think putting me there would be a major safety hazard and you know that” the linguist added, still laughing at your previous statements. “I’m gonna have to go now but see you in a few hours, I love you sweetheart”

“I love you too, Lex.” you assured, after which Alex finished the call. 

On your way home you made a few brief stops to run some errands, you also picked up some of Alex’s favourite takeaway. Cooking wasn’t your strong side, but baking was, and your fiancé was completely aware of that. You usually opted for ordering food when it was your turn to make dinner, another effective tactic you’ve developed over the months was trading your cooking turns by agreeing to make some of Alex’s and Ethan’s favourite desserts.

The last stop you had to make on your way home was the little boy’s school. 

“Hi Mama!” the squeaky voice roamed through the space in your car as Ethan entered it, making himself comfortable in his car seat. 

“Hi honey, make sure to fasten your seatbelt” you replied to him softly. Ethan was a complete copy of Alex, dark, somewhat curly hair forming beautiful waves, big hazel eyes, contrasting with his pale skin, which was covered in light freckles, a precious addition to his face. “How was your day at school?” 

“It was okay!” the little boy cheered to you, “Is mommy coming back home tonight? I really miss her.”

“She is actually! I’ve just talked to her and she should be back in the next few hours,” Ethan’s eyes lit up at your words, “don’t you worry you won’t have to do crosswords with me again” you added chuckling.

“I love you mama but you’re really not good and them.” E.T. teased, a cheeky smile plastered on his face.

You laughed in response to the dark-haired boy’s words. The rest of the drive home was peaceful, Ethan told you some more details about how his day at school went, talking about some of the friends he made, the teachers and what new things he learned that day. It wasn’t long until you reached your final destination, you took the food out of the car and the two of you started heading towards your apartment.

When you opened your front door a lovely smell of your favourite dish filled your nostrils, that’s when you knew Alex, was already home.

“Alex?” you questioned as you and Ethan started taking your shoes and coats off

“In the kitchen!” the woman exclaimed, you knew she had a habit of giving you the wrong time when she planned to come back home, wanting to let you know she was coming back yet still wanting to somewhat surprise you.

“MOMMY!” Ethan called as he ran to the kitchen, filled with joy and excitement to finally have his best crossword buddy back in the house.  “I’ve missed you so much!”

“Aw I’ve missed you too love bug,” she said as she gave the little boy the biggest hug she could, simultaneously picking him up. “And you, I missed you too” the dark-haired woman smiled as she directed her gaze your way. 

“You said you’d be home late in the evening!” you jokingly snarled as you took a few more steps towards her, letting her place a soft kiss to your cheek.

“You can’t blame me for wanting to surprise two of my favourite humans with a nice meal, can you?” she giggles as she put her son down.

“I see we’ve had the same plans Doctor Blake” you smiled as you put the bag with Alex’s favourite takeout on the kitchen island, at which Alex laughed and proceeded to place anther soft kiss, this time on your forehead.

The evening went by peacefully, filled with laughter and Ethan’s snarky remarks regarding your crossword skills. You decided to have Alex’s pasta for dinner, saving the takeaway for the next day, or a midnight snack. Etty was delighted to finally be able to do some crosswords with someone qualified and you just enjoyed watching the two people you loved most. The three of you ended the evening snuggled up on the couch of your living room, Alex in the middle so both you and Ethan would get equal amounts of hugs that you so dearly missed. You decided to watch one of Ethan’s favourite disney films, Frozen. As much as you didn’t want to admit that in front of Alex, it was one of your favourites too. The little boy ended up falling asleep halfway through the movie, snoring gently as he was curled up, wrapping his arms around Alex. When the film finished, you carefully took him to his room, tucking him in his bed, leaving a gentle kiss on his forehead. You joined Alex in your bedroom, wrapping your arms around her in an attempt to hold her as close to you as possible until both of you drifted off to sleep.

This was your happy place. Your found family. Your home.

Taglist:

@nightmarish-fae

Join my taglist here!

[kjthenerd]

‘The unbreakable man’ - Aaron Hotchner angst fic 5x09

This took me like 2 hours to write. It was my own spin off on multiple episodes, with some links to Hotch’s childhood as we never got to see it. It’s my first completed, long oneshot so let me know how I did. Hope you all have a good day <3

———————————————————

Not everybody knew the details of Hotch’s childhood. They could figure some aspects out because of their profiling skills sure, but Hotch never spoke about it. They knew he had problems with his brother, and that he had met Haley in theatre, but that was it.

The first time Hotch had been confronted about it was after his interrogation with Vincent Perotta. Gideon knew. Hotch knew he knew. The conversation had been a swift one, Hotch obviously wanted to lock the feelings in his heart back up as quick as possible and get home to Haley and Jack. Gideon understood.

“Hotch.” He had said. “You won’t turn out to be like your father.” Hotch had given a stoic nod of his head in return and wished the man a goodnight.

After that, Gideon had noticed some other things about the young man. Hotch always took on the burn ward. No matter how deeply it hurt him each time. He always went. Gideon knew that seeing Charlotte die had affected Hotch more than he’d like to admit. He knew he identified with Abby. He saw the tears in Hotch’s eyes, the unspeakable fear, the regret of not seeing the warning signs of Abby’s actions beforehand. Having to physically restrain Hotch from running inside a burning warehouse had told Gideon all he needed. Abby leaving an envelope for Hotch to give to his son had almost been Aaron’s breaking point. But we didn’t let himself break. He never did.

Then Gideon had left, leaving nothing but his gun, badge and a note for Spencer. Hotch understood. Of course he did. But part of him despised the fact that he was partly able to admit that he was angry Jason didn’t come and speak to him. He had shared secrets with that man over the years. He had been one of his mentors. And all he got was Erin Strauss saying that ‘Jason Gideons resignation from the Bureau was now official.’ He was fuming, in all honesty. Haley was gone. He had failed as a husband and as a father. The man who had promised him he wouldn’t turn out to be like his father was also gone. So now what?

David Rossi. A man of wisdom, yet unpredictability. Hotch had to admit he was extremely happy for his mentor to be back. Though he couldn’t understand why. Perhaps it was because he wouldn’t be doing double his paperwork anymore - though it did give a distraction from things at home, it was tedious. Maybe it was because he now had someone else on the team who truly understood him. Rossi knew about Hotch’s father, way before anyone else. When Hotch was a rookie in the BAU, the old team were having a takeaway after a particularly gruelling case. They had been talking about their childhoods and when it had came round for Hotch to speak, he had only really spoken about his mother. But that was it. Rossi had put it together then. The overachieving, workaloholic, who put everyone’s elses needs before his own. Aaron was like that because of the environment he had grew up in. It all made sense.

The time that Rossi had almost seen Hotch break was the continuation of the George Foyet case. All those people he had murdered on that bus because Hotch had enough balls to not take his stupid deal. Though, maybe if Hotch wasn’t so stubborn, those people would still be alive. There wasn’t a way to know. So when Hotch had walked off, Rossi following behind him, he allowed himself to break a little bit. “Dave i had ten years to do something about it!” Hotch had emphasised. Dave had merely gave him a lecture and told him that “the voice in the back of your head isn’t your conscience, it’s your ego!” Hotch supposed he was right. He quickly collected himself and carried on working the case. But then Morgan had gotten hurt. Hotch had felt like a hypocrite, telling him to let it go when they were on the jet. But he was unit chief. And he still had a job to do. Foyet had escaped. But that’s okay. Hotch had caught him once, he could catch him again.

Or so he thought. He couldn’t remember what had happened. They had gotten back from the atrocious farm case, and Hotch had gone straight to his apartment. He had poured himself a small glass of alcohol and as he had gone to drink it, he had heard the click of a gun. He knew it was Foyet. Only he would have the intelligence to break into Hotch’s apartment without him knowing. He couldn’t fully remember what had happened. What he could recall was how it stung, like millions of wasps and bees were attacking his body, and he couldn’t do anything to get them off. Then, it was the slow, torturous burning sensation that filled his torso. He could recall the thick, sticky blood dripping mercilessly down his chest, staining the carpet beneath him. His heartbeat had been pounding, if it wasn’t careful, it might have jumped out of his chest through the countless stab wounds Foyet had inflicted. He tried to focus on his heartbeat, to stay conscious. But eventually, it was easier to just succumb to unconsciousness.

When he came to, he was in a hospital bed, with bandages all over his torso and his arms. The beeping of the heart machine assured him he had survived. Though he wasn’t surprised. He knew Foyet would keep him alive. This was only a warning afterall. Prentiss had been the one to find him. The rest of the team had came by too, aswell as Haley and Jack. He had to look Haley in the eye, the first time since their divorce, and tell her that she had to go into witness protection with Jack. She had broken down. Asking what the hell she was supposed to tell Jack, and how was she supposed to raise him with nobody there to help her. It took everything in Hotch not to cry, he could only give an answer to one question. “Tell him you’re taking a holiday, and that it won’t be for very long.” Hotch had advised. He had promised Haley that he’d catch Foyet, and that he’d spend the rest of his life making it up to her. He had assured Jack his daddy was okay, and that him and mommy were going to take a little trip and he’d see him soon. Then they had left. Rossi had earlier stood in the doorway of his hospital room, and promised him they’d catch Foyet. Hotch clinged onto it like a little kid holding their teddy when they were scared. He had to.

But promises turned out to be empty words. Hotch should’ve known that. The amount of times his mother had promised to leave his father. The amount of times Sean said he’d change. The amount of times he’d been promised things would get easier. Yet, when the time came, he still promised Haley he would show Jack love, because that one he would live to keep. The sobbing, and then the gunshots rang through his ears, and dug deep into his soul, like a soldier in the trenches. They wouldn’t be going anywhere for a long time. But like a soldier, he still had fight left in him. The anger he had built up over the years could now help him. He fought Foyet, not for his life, but for Jack’s. He had promised Haley he’d show Jack love, and he had to kill Foyet to keep that promise. He had shot his gun, but the bullets had no impact on the vest he was wearing. It came down to hand to hand combat. Hotch, in that moment, thanked his father for beating into him resiliency. He had taken all of the punches and kicks Fouet had given him, and returned them ten times as hard on Foyet. He showed no mercy. Like the world had never showed mercy to him. He punched and punched and punched, until strong muscular arms had forced him to stop. Then he broke. He wept. He was broken. Aaron Hotchner had broken.

He hugged Haley’s corpse, hating himself for the fact that it was now a corpse. He had ran to where he had secretly told Jack to hide. He hadn’t ever been a religious man, but he knew Gideon had been. In the moments before opening the wooden chest, Aaron had prayed to God that Jack would be safe and sound in there. And miraculously, it worked. “I worked the case daddy.”

Hotch and Jack had slept at Rossi’s that night. Dave insisted. He made sure they had both ate as well as they could. He let them have their space. Then, Hotch had put Jack to bed. Now it was just Dave and Aaron, like it had been in the past, sitting in Dave’s enormous living room. Aaron had always admired the architecture of Dave’s home, and had often wished his had looked the same. But then again, he wasn’t a best selling author. His father would have been so disappointed in him. He had fucked up someone elses life, just like he had predicted. He was an awful person. He should have never tried to help people, it always ended up making things worse.

“Aaron.” Dave said, concerned. The young man looked up at his mentor, tears filling his eyes. Panic had already began pumping from his heart, filling all the arteries and veins in his body. Someone had tied a noose around his chest. He couldn’t breathe. Was he dying? No. He had to be alive for Jack. He had promised Haley, and he had already broken too many promises to her.

“Aaron you need to breathe.” Dave said, grabbing Aaron’s hand, only for him to jump back and curl up on himself at the end of the couch. “I- can’t - I - I’m dying.” Aaron sputtered out, clasping his hand to his chest. Dave slowly moved closer.

“You’re not dying Aaron. You’re having a panic attack.”

“I AM DYING!” Aaron shouted back, voice rich with emotion. “I’M BECOM- BECOMING JUST LIKE HIM DAVE! I- I - I…”

“Aaron!” Dave shouted back, “You ARE NOT YOUR FATHER!”

“I KILLED A MAN WITH MY OWN BEAR HANDS!” Hotch sobbed, his breathing becoming more sporadic by the second.

“Aaron. You need to breathe. In…” Dave exaggerated his breath, “Out…”

Aaron tried to copy his mentors breathing, but failed. “I- I’m sorry, ‘m pathetic.”

Dave ignored him, continuing to exaggerate his breathing. When that didn’t seem to work, he cautiously took Aaron’s trembling hand in his, and put it on his heart.

“Focus on my heartbeat. Focus on my breathing. That’s all you need to do.”

Aaron could follow those simple instructions. He could do that. He wasn’t that pathetic.

Minutes past before Aaron’s breathing became somewhat stable. Face glossed with sweat and tears, and eyes raw, he slouched back on the couch. His hand was now holding a plastic bucket, in case he needed to throw up. A water bottle was pressed into his other hand.

“Drink. I bet the hyperventilating made you light-headed.” Dave said softly, returning to sit next to Aaron.

“Dave, I..” Aaron started.

“Stop.” Dave cut him off, “Don’t apologise. Not today. Not ever. You’re not pathetic. You’re not like you’re father. You’re not fucked up.”

Aaron gave a huff of air in response. Dave always somehow knew what Aaron was thinking. “I knew you knew.”

“Of course I knew Aaron.” Dave said.

“When?” Aaron asked, taking a sip of his water.

“About 6 months after you joined the unit, the team went out for a takeaway after a bad case.” Dave began to explain.

“I remember. The case in Florida.” Aaron said.

“We were discussing our childhoods, and when it got to you, you only mentioned your mother. More specifically, what she would make you for breakfast.” Dave laughed, finishing his sentence. “Then it all clicked in my head. I knew what that man did to you before he died.”

Aaron nodded his head in reponse. “You know, my biggest fear was to turn out to be like him. It’s why I got into law, then the FBI. I had to make sure that I wasn’t to be like him.” Dave let nodded his head, encouraging him to continue. “But it was all for nothing. I.. I killed a man with my own bare hands Dave. I.. all that anger built up inside of me… what if it hurts Jack? What if I hurt Jack and don’t even realise it? I mean… I already took his mother away from him..”

Aaron’s eyes began to tear up again. He had finally voiced the fear that had been following him all his life. And the one persom who could either make or break it was now infront of him.

“Aaron, you are nothing like him. Your father… he beat you because he was a jackass. No other explanation. You were an innocent kid, who couldn’t fight back. Foyet wasn’t. He was a bastard who murdered lots of people, including the mother of your child. You could have let the anger out before Foyet, yet who kept it controlled until you figured you could use it for the greater good. It’s out now. It can’t hurt Jack.” Dave answered wisely. Aaron gulped. He knew, rationally, Dave was right. But the guilt he felt, breaking down his soul was still there. It was always going to be there. But the fear, that he would end up to be like his father had been slightly lifted.

“Lean on your team Aaron.” Dave advised, “Morgan has been doing an amazing job as Unit Chief, and you have friends to go to for help. Including me. It’ll all turn out to be okay.”

Aaron nodded his head, too exhausted to answer. It had been too much emotion for one day. Emotions, locked away for decades had came out today. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. But there was a small glimmer of hope in his heart, even if he himself didn’t realise it, that everything would be okay. That was his final thought before he lost the battle to exhaustion.

[hoe4hotchner]

reader has a crush on hotch and hotch calls them a pet name

Just a little coaxing is needed

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x GN!Reader

Word count: 2k

A/N: The reader is in their late 20’s in this. Here’s a reminder that my Requests are open and that I also have a prompt list you can choose from.

Warnings: None!!! It’s pure fluff.

Waking up to your alarm with a loud groan, you flop over on your back as you hit the snooze button. Today was going to suck, you could already tell, as you let yourself for the extra 8 minutes.

Last night you had gotten back to Quantico at about 3 am, after an explicitly long case that had been pulling everyone’s teeth out. It had been an especially tough one, seeing as the unsub had left little to no evidence of his crimes leaving you with nothing.

Upon arrival at the headquarters, Hotch had dismissed everybody with a firm not and an expectation of having them show back up for work at 7 am sharp. He wanted this case out of the world as soon as possible, and if that meant having a tired team write their reports, so be it.

All the way down with the elevator to the ground level, Morgan and JJ had complained about Hotch’s orders being unreasonable and inhumane, but you, you didn’t speak a word. Maybe it was the exhaustion that you couldn’t seem to shake from your body. Or maybe it was the fact that for the past two years you’d been crushing on your boss. How could you defy the man that you felt so in love with that you’d jump in front of a bullet for him.

Your attraction towards him hadn’t gone unnoticed by the team, as they’d noticed the subliminal hints your body had given off when he was around. They loved to tease you about it, telling you that you looked like a love-sick puppy dog, floating on a pink cloud behind him.

During cases, you’d managed to keep your calm whenever you were paired up with him. Not wanting to jeopardize your work with your dumb feelings. You couldn’t be together, it would be wrong. He was your boss! And the age gap didn’t help much either.

Sitting at your desk you slowly punched away on your keyboard, determined to get this report done so you could get to the stack of paperwork that had piled up next to you. Your eyes were slowly starting to feel heavier, as the lack of sleep finally caught up to you.

“(Y/L/N), can I have a word with you in my office?” Hotch called from the door, catching you off guard and snapping you out of your dozing state. As you got up from your desk, farthest back in the bullpen, and made your way across the room the others started cooing you on. Small oohs and mocking kiss sounds followed you all the way up the stairs but stopped once your hand landed on the door handle.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” You said as you sat down opposite him at his desk. He looked up from his own report that he was writing, his eyebrows raised.

“Just a second love, then I’ll be with you.” He mentioned before dotting the last few words down on the paper. You started spacing out. Had he just called you love?! No, you probably head him wrong. Why would Hotch call you that? He was your boss, that’s not a normal dialogue between an agent and a unit chief. Your mind was running wild trying to make sense of what had just happened. What did it all mean? You didn’t mind though, but it was all so confusing to you in your tired state.

“(Y/N)! Hello, are you there?” He snapped you out of your trance, seeing as you blinked your eyes with a quick flinch.

“Sorry sir, I’m just a little tired from the case.” You explained, trying to push the thoughts away. He understood although he knew that that wasn’t why you zoned out. None of you mentioned the pet name he had given you, as he cut to the chase.

“Strauss and I have a meeting later; do you think you have time to write this report as well?” He asked handing you a folder from your previous case. “It'll mean a little over time, it’s fine if you’re too tired, we just have to get through all of this before the heads upstairs come down for their annual performance reviews,” Hotch explained as you skimmed over the case, getting yourself reacquainted with the details.

“Sure.” You smiled, hating yourself for saying yes to him. But how could you say no? Your heart fluttered every time you even looked at him, feeling your crush take over as you became more compliant. If it had been anyone else asking, you’d probably have said no, knowing that you needed to catch up on rest. “Anything else, sir?” You propositioned as you stood back up ready to head out the door.

“No, dismissed.” He motioned you off. Just before you were about to leave his office he stopped you. “Oh, and (Y/N)?”

“Hmm?” You hummed in response, turning back around to look at him.

“Thanks love.” He smiled before waving you off. Your whole body twitched at the pet name. It was so unexpected that you didn’t know where to put yourself. Hotch loved seeing you squirm at his words, having had a hunch for a while of your attraction towards him. So, it hadn’t been a mistake, you thought to yourself. He really did call you love. Maybe it was an accident though? Maybe he’d just let it slip because he was extremely tired and overworked as well? Your thoughts started colliding with themselves in your brain, as your head started spinning. You plopped down back at your desk with a small exhausted grunt.

“Thanks love.” He smiled before waving you off. Your whole body twitched at the pet name. It was so unexpected that you didn’t know where to put yourself. Hotch loved seeing you squirm at his words, having had a hunch for a while of your attraction towards him. So, it hadn’t been a mistake, you thought to yourself. He really did call you love. Maybe it was an accident though? Maybe he’d just let it slip because he was extremely tired and overworked as well? Your thoughts started colliding with themselves in your brain, as your head started spinning. You plopped down back at your desk with a small exhausted grunt.

“What did he want?” Prentiss asked, spinning around in her own chair.

“More work.” You groaned dumping the file on your desk.

Hours went by and the pile on your desk seemed unending as it felt like you never managed to make a dent in it. The others had gone home long ago, leaving their piles for tomorrow, or whenever there was time to actually do paperwork. With the number of cases, the team consulted on, as well as helped with you never had enough time for the administrative stuff, in the long run, spending a couple of days to a week at a time out of the city.

Pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration, you groaned, letting the pen you’d been twirling between your fingers fall down on top of the desk. You were working on Hotch’s report, struggling to remember certain details from that specific case. Truth be told, you felt like a failure. Why hadn’t he just given the report to Spence? You thought, he was after all the child prodigy and boy genius of the team. He’d have had it finished several hours ago.

Pulling yourself together you dragged yourself over to the coffee station, hoping that a hot cup could quicken you enough up to finish the report, so you could finally head home to sleep. You hated how you were such a big people pleaser, and especially when it came to Hotch. It caused you great strain on your mental health as you often ended up pulling long shifts or all-nighters, trying to help your friends with what you could.

The caffeine did nothing to help, as it only appeared to make you feeling more exhausted in the end. Before you knew of it, it was 11 o’clock and you’d barely finished the report when a text from an old college friend popped up on your screen, asking if you’d want to go out with them. You quickly responded, dismissing the idea, as you got up from your desk, practically dragging yourself back up to Hotch’s office for the second time that day.

You hadn’t seen him leave, so you slowly knocked with small slaps on the wooden structure with the back of your hand. A muffled “come in” was heard. Hotch didn’t look up from the reports he was reading through and signing off on when you entered.

“What do you need.” He dismissively said, not looking up at you, nor knowing who it was. He assumed that it had just been someone from the night shift or maybe the cleaning staff wanting to know when they’d be able to clean his office.

“I’m just here to drop this off.” You quietly said, not wanting to disturb him anymore as you held up the finished report in your right hand. Hotch looked up when he heard your voice, seeing the condition you’d been in.

“Honey, you look terrible.” He pointed out, this time a new name fell from his lips. Truth be told, you did look horrible. You had large bags under your eyes, your hair ruffled as you’d pushed your fingers through it in frustration, your eyes felt heavy and droopy and you felt like you were swaying from side to side whenever you stood still. Your gaze fell on him, as you had perked up slightly at the mention of the pet name.

“Hotch? What’s going on?” You asked, confused, not being used to getting this sort of treatment from your boss, or any man as of lately. Making your way closer to his desk you dropped the report in his inbox, before sitting down. Trying to rub the sleep from your eyes, you unfocused your gaze on him, as you waited for his response.

“What do you mean agent?” He questioned, knowing exactly what you meant. He was just toying with you, waiting for the moment to occur between the two of you.

“You’ve kept on calling me love and honey all day, and It feels kind of unprofessional, although it has only been said between the two of us.” You slumped down in the chair, feeling like you were in the principal’s office back in elementary school, getting scolded for something, even though you hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Oh, so that’s the problem, I thought you like it though.” He grinned, pushing you further and further to admit your feelings towards him.

“That’s not the problem, I actually do love it but….” You stopped yourself as you widened your eyes. You’d let it slip. You fell silent as you tried to redirect your gaze elsewhere in the room.

“I know.” Hotch suddenly blurted out, catching you off guard as there had been a moment of awkward silence between the two of you.

“Know what?” You asked looking back over at him.

“That you like me. I’m a profiler for heaven’s sake (Y/N), you haven’t even tried to repress those feelings at work, I’ve noticed.” He explained, doing the thing you’d promised not to do to each other, your job.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered as you stood up and headed towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Or not, you thought. Mostly, you wanted to dig yourself a deep hole and just lie in it until this whole thing blew over and Hotch soon would’ve forgotten the conversation, if that even was possible. The man seemed to remember everything. He was like a goddamn elephant, never forgetting.

Upon opening the door, it was quickly slammed shut, as you were flipped around. Before you managed to comprehend the situation and make sense of it, a pair of lips are pressed against yours, kissing you with passion as you feel a hand sneak up to cup your cheek. Your hand weakly moves up to his chest as you lean into the kiss, letting him deepen it. You were still in shock and surprised at what was taking place in Hotch’s office.

When Hotch pulled away from the kiss, letting you both catch your breath, he rested his forehead against yours. Staring each other into your eyes.

“If you hadn’t guessed it, I also like you.” He smiled, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face. “You just needed a little coaxing to finally admit your feelings.” He grinned. Your body was pressed between his broad frame and the door as you still tried to make sense of what had just happened.

“Hotch?” You asked. Your head was spinning as the world around you seemed to have stopped in its tracks. You felt the butterflies flutter around it your stomach as you were slowly coming down from the high that was Aaron Hotchner.

“Mhm?” He hummed.

“I love you.” You smiled.

“I love you too, love.”

[wheelsup]

<3 what if since you and spencer star your relationship together, of course you're the one driving the car, but when you it, you always place your hand on his thigh and he places his hand over yours and stay there all the way

you do it so much that this is how that the bau discover that you're together

Seventeen minutes. That was how long your hand had now been on Spencer’s thigh. Derek was watching from the back seat, timing it from the very moment he noticed it.

For years, the team had watched you and Spencer play that song and dance of two best friends. Close, almost to an inappropriate degree for friendship. The average outsider would have to assume that the two of you were in your honeymoon phase of a real relationship. To the team, that’s just how the two of you were.

But a few weeks ago, the team noticed a strange shift in the air. None of them could put a finger on it, but they all agreed something felt different. So while last week Derek would’ve seen that and chalked it up to another exhibit of your overly-close friendship, he now looked at it and saw something else.

He nudged Emily, who was angrily sandwiched in the middle between him and Hotch, for a second opinion. Before she could bite his head off for that elbow in her side, Derek tipped his head in the direction of the front seat. Her eyes followed.

Emily confirmed with a sly smirk exactly what Derek thought he was seeing. You had, in fact, just slipped your hand over Spencer’s leg and left it there. It looked like you didn’t even realize you were doing it. And then, only a couple minutes later, Spencer put down the map that he was reading your directions off of, folded it up in his lap, and slipped his hand over yours. Like it was a reflex.

They said nothing.

That happened only six minutes into the drive and they wanted to see how long it could go on. Even Hotch caught wind of what his other two agents were gawking at, and though he mentally refused to partake, he wondered which of the team was going to be right about you two.

He knew that Emily’s theory was that you’d been Reid dating in secret for at least six months. Penelope didn’t agree with that; she claimed Spencer would have to tell her about it. If not for the fact that they don’t keep secrets from each other, then surely because he would’ve asked for some dating advice.

Derek also disagreed with the secret relationship theory, but for different reasons. He had faith that Spencer had some pull when it came to dating – particularly, with you, because who else would laugh at his corny jokes like that? – but he didn’t believe Spencer was dating you. As much as it looked like it, and you acted like it, Derek thought that most likely, you were both too dumb to even realize you were in a relationship with each other.

There are no points for guessing which of the three were correct. It was, in fact, Derek.

Neither of you knew.

Looking back, you should’ve known given that you spent all of your free time with Spencer.

Going to the movies with Spencer. Going out to dinner with Spencer. Watching Spencer play chess in the park. Shopping for books with Spencer and eventually dragging him to the other stores in the mall and making him buy all the sweaters you thought he’d look good in.

You went on a thousand and one dates with him and never knew that that was what you were doing.

But at the very least, this one particular intimacy of yours was traceable to its origin. Technically, it started on the drive home from a visit to the Smithsonian, but the seeds were sown earlier in the day.

As you walked from one exhibit to another, Spencer squeaked out when some shiny object caught his eye. You could barely understand what got him so excited, so he quickly grabbed your hand and pulled you along to go look at it, sneakers skidding loudly against the tile as he tried not to run to it. When you got there, a little out of breath and still confused - it was just a hunk of metal from an airplane - you didn’t let go of his hand.

Instead, you mindlessly weaved your fingers with his and held it tighter, neither of you realizing you were still joined together.

It was only when you left did you think about it, in the brief second that you had to separate in order to get inside the car from opposite sides. Even then, it was awkward for only a moment. When you had to wiggle your hand free from his as you went around to the driver’s seat. He didn’t leave you to wonder for too long - as soon as you were buckled in, he took your hand again. Bringing it to rest on his left thigh, playing with your fingertips as he talked excitedly about the day.

And every day since then, he’s done the same thing. Get in your car, hold your hand. Mindlessly fidget with your fingers, or rub little patterns into the back of your palm, while he talked or just listened.

Whatever number this one took on the long list of intimacies you shared, it was just one you didn’t ever second-guess with him. Maybe it could be chalked up to the fact that it all felt so natural? That transition from just two coworkers to friends; from friends to best friends; and from that to… whatever this was.

This was the reason you didn’t ask questions. This was things like your hand on his thigh, his slipped on top, and his thumb tracing lazy circles over the back of your palm. Like spending all your time with him and having your own wealth of little habits. You didn’t know, either, if you and Spencer were dating, and you didn’t care. What you did know was that this made you happy, and that was enough.

—

—

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tagging other part of my taglist separately!

[amazingmaeve]

BREATH

spencer reid x fem!reader

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Y/N’s had a rough life dealing with the fact that her father left her and her mother, leading her mom to drinking her life away. But she had her best friend, Spencer Reid a love able need who helped her along the way. That friendship turned into something more when they both turned 15. But one morning Y/N finds out the Spencer left to explore more opportunities and just left a note. Then at 29 the most traumatic thing happened to her which made time stop for her. Being kidnapped, raped and tortured for 3 weeks she thought she was going to die but Y/N escaped and reported it to the police but never eventually found anything. A few years later still having trauma Spencer Reid comes back into her life.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: angst, major warning for mentions of rape and torture happens against reader DO NOT READ (not described) if you’re not comfortable, fluff (with spencer), swearing, use of drugs (prescribed), alcohol, abandonment

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 10,308

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ|ᴄ.ᴍ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ|s.ʀ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀs ɴᴏᴛᴇ: again please DO NOT READ if anything in the warnings (mentions of rape and torture against reader) triggers you, I want your mental health to be in line more than a like or reblog. The sexual assault ISN’T described the only description is when she escapes. also it’s my first time writing for spencer so please go easy on me. Also definitely inspired by that episode nanny dearest. Flashbacks are in italics. Also longest thing I’ve ever written.

Spencer entered the building and went straight for his desk, after saying hello to Emily and Derek and put his satchel and coffee down getting ready to get to work. As he picked up his pen he heard Hotchs door open and looked up to see his boss standing there with his usual stern face.

“Case,” Hotch said, his voice gravely as usual.

Spencer sighed and grabbed his stuff and headed straight for the debriefing room where all of his teammates were sitting. Garcia stood in front of all them with her bright attire and remote in hand. Even with her bubbly attitude Spencer could tell that this case was going to be a tough one with her body language.

“Hope you have a tough stomach for this one my beauties,” Garcia sighed as everyone looked at the iPads on their tables. “Every December 2 girls go missing in Las Vegas with mutilation all over their bodies and especially the genitals. They also have been extremely sexually assaulted and raped” She explained though Spencer had already read through the whole thing and saw the pictures.

“Sadist,” Emily guessed.

“Actually it seems more likely that this guy is more of a sexual sadist due to the extreme rape and assault to the genitals,” Spencer explained his eyes still on the IPad. Emily rolled her eyes playfully.

“Wait it looks like they had some of their hair ripped out,” J.J brought up looking more closely at the pictures.

“All of them from the looks of it. Maybe souvenirs,” Rossi explained, taking a guess.

“This guy seems really angry and impulsive but composed since he only kills one month out of the year for three years,” Derek says bewildered.

“It takes a lot of patience to do something you could be doing all year, maybe something is holding him back,” Emily suggested.

“Maybe that’s why the murders are so gruesome, he has something or someone holding him back for all the other 11 months,” Spencer quickly said putting down the IPad finally taking a look at the rest of his team members. “From the looks of this, this guy is extremely calculated,” He explained, wringing his hands together.

“Why do you say that,” J.J asked, confused. All these murders looked like someone impulsively did them.

“You can see on the girls arms that she has ligature marks which means these girls are being held somewhere, also they all have the same hair color, eye color, and even age he’s definitely projecting and using these women as surrogates as well,” Spencer quickly explained.

“It’s already half way through December 3 girls are already dead, one is missing . We need to crack this case. Wheels up in 30,” Hotch demanded, rising from his seat quickly followed by everyone in that same room.

Spencer couldn’t help but feel nervous as he was going to the place where he was born. They’ve all been there before but this time he felt like something in his gut that something bad was going to happen, he just brushed it off as nerves.

——-

“Dammit,” Y/N cursed as she started bleeding from the wound on her finger. She has been picking at the skin around her nail to help the nerves, at least that’s what her therapist told her at every session.

It was completely reasonable with what she has been through and even her therapist told her that people don’t just get over that. Y/N hated that about herself though, still having nightmares 3 years after the whole thing. In her mind she should be done with all of this, waking up in a sweat and having a panic attack every night. In those nightmares he came back for her and did everything over and over again. The rape, the torture.

Jill, her therapist, explained it was possible since the guy hadn’t been arrested she was afraid he could come back at any moment. Although, Y/N didn’t need a therapist to tell her that.

His face is implanted in her mind, every time she closes her eyes she sees him above her, but before she has a full blown panic attack she takes deep breaths and reminds herself he isn’t there.

In those three years she has gotten herself a German shepherd, a service dog, to help her with the panic attacks and it did help having him there. But she couldn’t take him to the bar where she worked, so she had to figure out trying to calm herself down during a panic attack.

In her first session of therapy, Jill immediately prescribed her to Xanax since she was hyperventilating for even coming out of her apartment. Y/N didn’t mind since it helped her during some of her rough times.

“So how are you today Y/N,” Jill asked with her notebook in her hand. Y/N sat across from her on the couch with her hands tightly squeezed together.

“Not much better but I took your advice and I talked to someone,” Y/N tried to explain, giving bad information and good information.

“That’s progress and it’s a good thing letting people in your life and letting them care for you,” Jill explained as her mouth formed into a smile.

“Well it’s easier said than done,” Y/N mumbled under her breath, her hand going to the scars on her arm and began to scratch the old wounds for comfort.

“That is also true but you never know unless you take a risk,” Jill suggested, putting one leg over the other, crossing them.

“The last time I took a risk is when I got kidnapped for 3 weeks and got repeatedly raped and torture soI don’t ever want to take a risk again,” Y/N snapped as tears came cascaded down her cheeks. Her breaths began to become more and more short.

“You’re right with your past you shouldn’t be taking a risk and I’m sorry for bringing that up,” Jill apologized with a monotone voice, not allowed to show any emotion.

Y/N took a deep breath wiping the tears away, reminding herself that Jill just wanted to help her get better. But is there any hope that she could get better? She was broken beyond belief, and she didn’t have any hope in herself. All those scars, inside and out, have prevented Y/N a life she should have had, but now she’s cold and doesn't talk to anyone. She can’t take that risk again.

“It’s fine,” Y/N quickly replied, bouncing her knees as her nerves began to calm down. Even though her heart was still pounding against her chest she was feeling better.

“For this week I want you to take a walk during the day and enjoy the fresh air and relax,” Jill told her as she noticed that the session between her and Y/N was about to end.

“I‘ll try my best,” Y/N murmured as got her stuff ready to leave.

Once she was in the car Y/N was free to cry and break down. Fist tight around the steering wheel and tears rolling down her cheeks she started to hyperventilate. She tried the breathing technique Jill told her to do and surprisingly it worked.

Resting her head against the seat she let out a long breath and a sniffle. Putting her hand on her chest she notes that her heart started to calm down as well.

Taking out a pack of cigarettes, she places the stick between her lips lighting the tub. Y/N sighed as she exhaled smoke and while doing, also subconsciously scratching at some old scars.

Before she noticed the pain she saw blood coming out of her arm.

“Fuck,” Y/N hissed dabbing the cigarette in the ash tray in her car.

Pulling out a napkin she held the wound to keep pressure. She took a breath and put a bandaid on the small wound and closed her eyes from being tired.

Looking at her phone she cursed as she realized she was late for work. She stepped on the gas and booked it to the bar.

——-

Spencer sat at a table with all the papers about the case surrounding them. His teammates are sprouting ideas or anything they could do to find this missing girl before she died.

Spencer narrowed his eyes as he looked at the papers in front of him. He quickly re-read the paper before coming up with a theory. It looked like he had one girl for 3 weeks and killed her then for the last week was spent with the other victim.

“I just don’t understand this guy. He has extreme impatience and aggression but is patient enough to wait another 11 months before killing another girl,” Emily frustratedly said as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“Maybe he’s on a time crunch,” Derek suggested, tapping his pen against the table.

“Yeah but would that be. What could be this important?,” J.J questioned, biting her lip.

“Maybe he’s filming it and keeping it,” Rossi suggested as a lightbulb went off in his head.

“That could be why this unsub is so frustrated when the month of December hits. The videos aren’t just doing it for him anymore,” Hotch explained as his eyes were furrowed.

“What’s going on in your head kid,” Derek asked worriedly, looking over at Spencer.

“Maybe he’s here on vacation,” Spencer said looking up at all of his teammates.

“That’s a possibility,” Emily agreed.

“If you think about approximately 40 million people visit Las Vegas each year for Christmas and New Years,” Spencer explained, playing with his hands.

“And that’s why he videotapes it, so when he goes back home he doesn’t have to do this, where he won’t be suspected,” Rossi explained as the realization dawned on everyone.

“If that is the case, we only have a week before this girl shows up dead and this guy leaves the city,” J.J explains.

“This started three years ago and I’m just confused by something,” Spencer says looking through the papers. Everyone turns to him as he tries to find something.

“There’s a first for everything pretty boy,” Derek teased, patting him on the back as he crossed the room to get more coffee. Spencer rolled his eyes.

“Two girls are taken every December but 3 years ago only one girl showed up dead at the end of the month,” Spencer explained as ideas raked through his mind.

“Maybe that’s when it started,” Hotch guessed.

“This guy is extremely planned out, he sticks to his plan he probably had victims picked out before he got her though,” Emily stood up standing next to the board where all the information laid out. The hunting ground, victim type, characteristics of the killer. Then it dawned on him.

“Get Garcia on the phone,” Spencer demanded.

Everyone looked at him confused but Emily dialed the phone number as Spencer paced nervously. If he was right they could figure out who this guy was and save this girl.

“Finally I’ve been sitting here all day waiting all day to talk and do something,” Garcia's voice came through the speaker, her usual pep in her tone.

“Garcia I need you to look up something for me,” Spencer began to say.

“That’s why I’m here,” Garcia smiled.

“Look up woman who were raped 3 years ago and reported it,” Spencer asked.

“What’s going on Reid,” Rossi asked, confusion swimming in his eyes.

“I’m thinking that the reason we never found this first victim is because she didn’t die,” Spencer exclaimed as everyone realized what he was saying.

“We might have a victim that can crack this case open for us,” Emily said aloud.

“I’ve got 59 women and that is way too high for my liking,” Garcia's voice came through the line.

“Of all sexual assaults and Rapes 63% aren’t reported so let’s just hope that she went to the police with this information,” Spencer nervously said.

“If not we’ll find a way to find her,” J.J explained, looking at him with soft eyes.

“Okay Garcia apply this, they had cigarette burns, rope burns around their wrist and were kidnapped. Also they have to have Y/HC, Y/E/C, and have to have high risk jobs since he thinks they won’t be missed,” Spencer explained, writing a victim under a faceless picture.

“Only one name came up and it’s Y/N Y/LN, she works at a bar and she came into the police station yelling and screaming that she was kidnapped and raped. Oh poor girl she was taken for 3 weeks and had to run for about 4 miles to the police station,” Garcia explained, sympathy dripping in her voice as she thought about the girl who went through that.

Spencer froze when he heard her name. A name he thought wouldn’t be heard for the rest of his life. He dropped the marker in his hand and ran his fingers through his hair. He missed her and always wondered what had happened to her after that night he left. But now he wished he never knew the pain she went through.

But he knew he had to help Y/N with this so he could help this girl survive as well. Spencer hoped she still lived in Las Vegas, in the apartment that they once shared. His heart pounded against his chest as memories ran through his head, tears pooled in the corner of his eyes as he thought about everything.

“Where does she live,” Hotch asked with a rushness in his voice.

“Already on your IPads,” Garcia smiled.

“Alright thanks baby girl,” Derek hung up the phone before he looked at Spencer who was still gaping at the information that he had just heard. “You okay kid,” He asked, grasping his shoulder.

“Do you know this girl Spence,” J.J asked looking at him with concern.

“When I lived here we used to date, but then I moved here and worked for the BAU. God I can’t believe it I just left in the middle of the night and looked at what happened,” Spencer frustratedly rubbed at his eyes trying to not let the tears fall.

“Reid this isn’t your fault, you couldn’t have known that this would have happened to her,” Emily soothed him as she ran her hand up and down his back. Spencer took a deep breath before nodding, hesitantly agreeing with her.

“If you know this girl Reid I want you, Prentiss and Morgan to go with you to interview her,” Hotch ordered them as Spencer looked at him with wide eyes.

“But-,” Spencer was about to disagree with not going to see his ex he caused pain to.

“Reid, she knows you, she’ll probably be more comfortable around and more willing to help,” Hotch explained, giving him a look.

“But I left without one word. She's going to be reasonably angry,” Spencer sighed.

“That’s why Morgan and Prentiss are going with you,” Hotch left the room with that as his last sentence.

“Reid don’t stress about this, Hotch is right even though she is mad at you she’ll be more comfortable around you,” Emily clarified a smile gracing her lips.

“I hope you’re right,” Spencer mumbled looking at his feet before leaving the building with Morgan and Prentiss.

——-

“Do you ever wonder where you’ll end up. Like will you ever do the thing you dreamed of,” Y/N asks as she lays next to Spencer in an open field where they were watching the sunset.

“No but statistically 43% of Americans are working at their dream jobs and I’m hoping I can be one of those people,” Spencer says as he plays with her hair with his hands.

“At least you have a goal,” Y/N muttered as she shoved her face into the crook of his neck.

“What’s going on Y/N,?” Spencer asked, half worried, half confused. Y/N sighed as she looked up into his beautiful eyes.

“Well you have something you are working towards but here I am still trying to figure out what I’m going to do,” Y/N rambled, playing with the tie he was wearing avoiding eye contact so she didn’t see the pity in his eyes.

Spencer sighed as he brought her closer and caressed his hand on her hip. He knew about the insecurities and worries she has had, especially with something like her career.

“There are a lot of facts I could say about this but all I know is that once you find that thing you want to do, you’ll love it and you’ll be the best you can at it,” Spencer whispered and kissed her forehead while caressing her cheek making her look up at him. She gave him one of her beautiful smiles that could light up a room and that’s all he would ever need. His thumb ran against her cheek bone and Y/N grabbed his hand and kissed the top of his hand.

“You’re always trying to make me feel happy and safe Spence,” Y/N smiles as tears brim her eyes, she wrings her hands with his and he begins to stroke the top of her hand. “But what about you, I want you to feel like that,” She whispers as her voice gets a little raspy.

“As long as I’m with you I will be happy no matter what,” Spencer kissed the back of her hand reassuring her.

“Let me ask you a question Dr. Reid,” Y/N teasingly says with a smirk on her face he nodded bringing her close to his chest. “How many people actually marry their high school sweetheart,” She asks, resting her head on his chest, listening to the calming beat of his heart.

“In 1940s 25% of people actually got married to their high school sweethearts and that number has gotten lower since then, now it’s only 2% of people who actually marry their high school sweetheart. That includes the people who aren’t actually happy or got divorced,” Spencer rambles as Y/N looks up at him with adoration. She’s always loved it whenever he went on one of his fact crusades, she found it adorable when his eyebrows furrowed and small smile graced his face when does it. It causes her heart to skip a beat with nervousness.

But that doesn’t help the uneasiness about what he had said. Only 2% of people get married to their high school lover and she’s hoping actually, prays that her and Spencer are a part of that. Something in stomach suggests something bad is about to happen that would end with her heart broken. But she shakes that feeling off trying to spend the time with the love of her life.

“Let���s just hope that we’re a part of that 2% right,” Y/N smiled and Spencer nodded, giving a little kiss on her lips.

“I know we are.”

——-

Spencer sighs as he shakes the memory out of his brain but his eidetic memory isn’t helping so much. He looked outside of the passenger window at the passing cars as butterflies kept flying around in his stomach. Seeing Y/N again was something he wished for but under these circumstances he wishes they weren’t. He wishes this hadn’t happened to her.

Sighing, he thinks about how he’s going to ask her to relive the worst things that had happened to her without sounding like a jerk. He’s hoping that she’ll be willing to help with the case so that this man could be held to the justice system.

“Since we’re alone what’s the story kid,” Derek asked hands planted around the steering wheel while taking a glance at Spencer.

“What story,” Spencer questioned, although he knew deep down what he was going to ask him.

“Come on Reid it’s just the three of us we won’t tell anyone,” Emily says, sitting in the back coming up between them. Her face was giving off sympathy as she looked at him.

“She was my girlfriend that’s all,” Spencer murdered sinking even further into the seat than he already was. Derek rolled his eyes while Emily sighed.

“Reid, you are one of the only things to get her to open up to us. Are you ready for that if you have too,” Derek questioned with a serious look on his face.

“It’s just, it’s been a while since I have seen her and I don’t think she’ll be willing to talk to me,” Spencer spoke, clearing his throat at the end.

“She’ll probably be angry but still if you guys knew each other for a long period of time, she’ll be more comfortable with you,” Emily reassured him, putting her hand on his shoulder giving it a tap.

“I hope you are right,” Spencer gave her a tight smile through the rear view mirror, trying to calm his heart and the deep feeling in his stomach. “You know I just left,” He whispered as he rubbed his eyes with his hand.

“What do you mean,” Derek asked, confused, looking over at him for just a second as he drove down the street. Emily , just the same as Derek, looked confused.

“I didn’t even break up with her, I just left in the middle of the night and I know it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever done,” Spencer explained through a whisper as tears brimmed in his eyes. Even though he left he still loved her like he did years ago. He couldn’t stop, he even thought about asking Penelope to look her up but stopped himself wanting her to live his life without him.

“It was a long time ago Reid, you can’t let yourself drown in the thoughts of what if,” Emily explained with a comforting tone in her voice.

“Okay you are all about that factual stuff so what’s the statistic for how long it takes for someone to get over a break up,” Derek asked, his eyes still leering on the road.

“Statistically it takes an average person about 3.5 months to heal from a break up, but if it’s a divorce it could take 1.5 years or even more for someone to get over something like that,” Spencer says as he moves his hands along with the words.

“See there you go,” Emily patted Spencer's shoulder.

“But grieving a relationship isn’t about statistics, it's different for every person, this is about how much love you had for the person,” Spencer told them as he looked down at his hands and began to bite his lip to stop crying.

“That is also true,” Emily sadly tells him. “But you can’t just hide in the dark, you have to face the light sometimes,” She explains as Derek parks in front of the bar that Y/N worked at.

“She’s right kid and I know you’re afraid of the dark so run towards that light,” Derek teases a little with a grin on his face. Spencer shakes his head as a tiny grin breaks out on his face. Emily ’s right he can’t just run away from his past because he’s scared of it.

“There’s that smile,” Emily grins. “Now let’s go in.”

——-

Y/N huffs out a breath as she wipes down the bar table. She knows it’s almost about the time where all the drunks come into the place and it’s the time where most customers are there as well.

Let’s just say that Y/N doesn’t like this time of her shift.

It doesn’t make it better that her boss is a dick that is always barking off orders even if she’s on her break which makes her always frustrated. Though it doesn’t seem like the best job, it gets her good money and tips that help pay for her rent.

Although she does get kinda nervous with all these men that might be like him. That he might grab her again and might finish off the job this time. That is what haunts her as she rushes to her car at night with pepper spray in one of her hands while a knife is in the other hand.

Precautions. It helps but it doesn’t help the thoughts that run through her brain.

Her boss doesn’t know about it, maybe if she told him, he would be a little more sympathetic to her situation. Y/N doesn’t want to do that, she doesn’t need the sympathy, she hates it when the spotlight is on her and people give her the look that says they feel bad for her. She just hates it.

As she sits in the back room of the bar on her break, Y/N takes out a letter from her back pocket. It’s a letter from Diana, and she knows it’s weird staying in contact with her ex-boyfriend's mother, but Diana was the only thing in her life that was comfortable.

Her parents weren’t the best of people, just drunks that didn’t give a damn about her, so when she met Spencer and his mother she became dependent on them. And when Spencer left Diana was all that she had left and she couldn’t leave that. It would break her heart even more.

In all reality she didn’t know why Spencer left, she knew he wanted to be in the FBI and she was willing to be by his side through all of that. But it seems like he didn’t want that so she just let him go not wanting to bother him like she already had.

A sudden knock on the door jolted her up as her heart raced wondering who it was.

“Someone’s here for you,” Her boss's voice came through the door and she released a sigh when she heard it. But then the annoyance came to her.

“I’m still on break,” Y/N snapped.

“Well it just ended,” Her boss snapped back.

Y/N sighed in frustration as she bit her lip and almost caused it to bleed. She ran her hands through her hair giving it a small tug. She didn’t have any friends and her family didn’t even want to know her so who is it even.

She takes a deep breath as she tries to think about who’s waiting for her outside that door and she has a bad feeling about it. Y/N prays he hadn’t found her, to come back and finish the job. Her hand touches the cold door knob which makes her get goosebumps.

As soon as she steps out of the door she immediately regrets it. She feels a bit of relief that it wasn’t him but it was also someone else that she didn’t want to see, ever in her life.

“Y/N this is the FBI they want to talk to you about something,” Her boss tells her as she stares at Spencer having all those feelings of sadness and anger coming back. All those feelings being resurfaced, and so long after being buried, it almost doesn’t feel real to Y/N.

It feels surreal almost. That’s the best she could describe it.

The people besides Spencer must be his co-workers but Y/N doesn’t care since all she can focus on is Spencer. Why does he need to talk to her? She hasn't done anything wrong. She knows it’s not about talking to her because he wouldn’t bring his co workers along for that. She controls her breathing before she can start to hyperventilate. Biting her tongue she tries to stop the tears from cascading down her cheeks or even brimming. Not wanting to show him any sort of weakness she crosses her arms over her chest and puts a hard look on her face.

“I thought I was supposed to get back to work,” Y/N looked back at her boss with a little anger in her eyes.

“Well you can’t say no to the FBI,” Her boss muttered. “And can it with the attitude sweetheart,” He says with annoyance coursing through his voice then he leaves without a word and she can’t contain the eye roll that comes out.

“So Spencer what do you need from me, I haven’t done anything illegal so you can’t arrest me,” Y/N asks with bitterness lacing her tone as he wipes down the bar counter with a towel.

“We need to ask you about what happened to you three years ago,” The man next to Spencer tells her. She looks and sees Spencer and the man and woman next to him giving her comforting looks.

Not wanting to talk about it, she comes up with the best solution.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Y/N muttered, her voice coming out in a rasp as she looks down at the counter trying to get the stain out even though she knows it will never come out.

She hears Spencer sigh and whisper to the two people beside him and they leave the two of them alone in the silence. Well except for the music and the people yelling and talking. Y/N doesn’t want to look up because all she’ll is sympathy swarming in his eyes and she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want or need this sympathy, especially from him.

“Y/N please,” Spencer whispers his voice, she can hear the sadness seeping through the words and she doesn’t want to look into those beautiful eyes she loves so much because she’ll just break if she does.

“What Spencer,” Y/N questioned in a tiny voice, all the confidence already leaked from her body as soon as they mentioned what happened three years ago.

Spencer put his hand on top of hers, making her stop cleaning, and gave it a tiny squeeze. She released a shaky breath she didn’t know she was holding. Feeling his touch after years is almost dreamlike, closing her eyes she refuses to look him in the eyes as he caresses the back of her hand with his thumb.

“I know this is hard,” Spencer says softly in a comforting tone that makes Y/N feel safe, and she hadn’t felt that in a while.

“I don’t know what you are talking about Spence,” Y/N rushed out continuing with the lie.

“We need to know something about the man who took you,” Spencer questioned her gently, trying to make her as comfortable as possible.

“Why do you need to know,” Y/N asks with a trembling tone, that’s when the tears finally start to brim at her eyes. Her bottom lip wobbles as her eyes stay trained on her and Spencers joined hands, stubbornly not looking him in the eyes.

“Because he has taken another woman and we need to stop him,” Spencer explains with a tender tone coursing through his words.

When Y/N finally looks at his face she almost breaks down, the same face she used to wake up to every morning, the same face she saw everyday, the same face she saw before he left. Not only seeing him makes her break but seeing the saddened expression on his face makes everything worse.

Spencer almost gasps when Y/N finally looks him in the eyes. He regrets doing this almost immediately when he sees the tears in the corner of her eyes begging for an escape. He hates it. Even though this is what he expected, he hates seeing her cry or even sad. Sometimes he hates having an eidetic memory because he remembers everything he did with her, said to her, everytime he held her, she held him. She’s different, and why wouldn’t she be, she went through a horrific experience. Spencer's thumb never stopped it’s movements, his brain still wanting to comfort her.

“What would I be doing,” Y/N asks as a lone tear trails down the apple of her cheeks. Spencer restrains himself using his hand to wipe it away.

“We would be walking you through the experience—,” Spencer began to say and Y/N immediately cut him off, removing his gentle hand from hers.

“Nope, no way, no I will not relive that,” Y/N snaps anger now lacing her tone, venom seeping through the words and Spencer understands why she wouldn't want to do this.

“I will be there with you the whole time and we won’t ask about anything that happened during the rape just about his face and your escape,” Spencer explains his voice more firm now.

“I can’t go through that again,” Y/N whimpers, biting her lip as the tears that were begging to escape finally make their run down her cheeks.

Spencer grabs both of her hands as he looks her straight in the eyes, his eyes are comforting to her and reminds her of an easier time. His face shows sadness and reassurance at the same time. Y/N looks at him in awe.

“Y/N I swear on my life that I will be by your side throughout this, I will be there when we catch this guy and he finally goes to jail,” Spencer promises with a determined tone seeping through his words. Honesty leaks through his every pore and Y/N sees that.

“Are you really going to be by my side throughout it all,” Y/N whispers as the tears don’t stop descending down her cheeks.

“Not even to get something to drink,” Spencer gives her hands a gentle squeeze.

“Well that’ll be hard with your coffee addiction,” Y/N teases slightly as tears remain on her cheeks. Spencer gives her a little smile that makes her heart beat a little faster.

“Let’s go down to the station.”

——-

She can feel Spencer's cold hands on her neck as he puts the necklace around her neck. He wanted to surprise her by getting a necklace that she’s been looking at for a few months. She was elated when she opened the gift.

The look on her face he would never let go, she looked so happy.

As soon as Spencer's hands left the back of her neck she felt even colder without his touch for some weird reason. Whenever he touched her, it made her feel empty. She hated that feeling and she felt like she couldn’t live without it. She turned around and saw Spencer give her one of his awkward adorable grins she couldn’t get enough of.

Wrapping her arms around his waist, his scent engulfed her senses and felt safe. Spencer’s arms wrapped around her shoulders as he put his head in the crook of her neck taking a deep breath, breathing in her scent of lilacs and daisies.

“Thank you so much Spence you didn’t have to do that,” Y/N whispered, her words making shivers go down his spine as she breathed on his neck. Her head went to snuggle in his chest enjoying the warmth that came from that.

“I know you’ve been wanting that for months so I wanted to do something nice for you,” Spencer whispered as he caressed her back.

“But—,” She was about to protest until Spencer interrupted her.

“I will not take no for an answer, I want you to have this, it’s the least I can do,” Spencer firmly whispers in her ear making goosebumps appear on her skin.

“What have I done for you to receive something like this,” Y/N murmured, insecurity started to fill every part of her body, she didn’t know what she did to deserve something this good.

“Just you being you,” Spencer muttered, planting a kiss on her collarbone.

Sniffling she started to feel tears brim at her eyes, not out of sadness but happiness, knowing she meant so much to him made her chest fill up with joy and happiness.

“Please don’t cry,” Spencer whispered as he felt tears stain his shirt. The only thing in life he hated to see was her hurt or her crying. He hated that he couldn’t make her feel better and make the tears stop trailing down her cheeks and make their destination on his shirt.

“Isn’t there some sort of scientific thing about crying being helpful to stress,” Y/N teasingly asked as they stood against each other. A grin etched onto her face as soon as he began to talk. Y/N loved it when he talked, his face would light up with happiness about whatever fact he was spewing, she couldn’t get enough of it.

“There are three different types of tears: reflex tears, continuous tears, and emotional tears. Emotional tears are the tears that offer the most mental health benefits. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain,” Spencer rambled making Y/N hum into his chest loving the way he gets so excited about something small as tears. The man in front of her she wanted to marry someday. She wanted to have kids, grandkids and his future with hers.

The two of them just stand there as they enjoy the warmth and presence of each other. Everything was so calm and silent you could hear a pin drop. During Spencer's ramble he moved his head to rest on hers as her head remained in his chest, taking deep breaths of his soothing scent.

“Please don’t ever leave,” Y/N asked with a whisper moving her head to the side so she could hear the consistent sound of his heart beat.

“Why would I leave you, I have everything I want here,” Spencer asked as his voice croaked a bit, feeling tears soar to the corner of his eyes.

“I hate it when you cry too, you know,” Y/N stated with a little smile traveling to the corners of her mouth.

She pulled back from his chest much to his protest and put her cold hands on his cheeks wiping the tears away. Y/N leaned on her tippy toes giving him a kiss on the corner of his mouth as her thumb drew circles on his cheek bone making him feel even more relaxed.

“Glad to know we’re on the same page length,” Spencer teased with a grin developing on his face. With the tears on his cheeks and eyes but a grin on his lips, his face looks like juxtaposition.

Y/N laughed wrapping her arms around his neck as Spencers travelled down to her waist. She leaned up and kissed him, immediately receiving a kiss back.

Spencer and Y/N stood there kissing for a minute before pulling away and just staring into each other’s eyes. His eyes sparkled as he looked deep into her soul and it felt like with one look he could just know what she was thinking. Instead of scaring her it makes her feel comforted. Like she had someone who knew her enough to know that. To have someone love her made her heart grow almost 3 sizes like the grinch.

“I’ll always love you Spence.”

“And I’ll always love you.”

——-

Y/N took a deep breath sitting in one of the conference rooms in the police station. Her knee jittering up and down was the only sound in the room. Finding the necklace around her neck she began to fiddle with the old piece of jewelry.

Even after these years she kept it. Kept it to remember him and all the good memories that he gave her. The smiles, the cuddles, the nights she just listened to him talk about random facts.

Smiling to herself she remembers when he gave the necklace to her. It wasn’t even her birthday, Christmas, or valentines. It was just a random day he decided to give it to her.

Letting shaky breaths out as she remembers those nights, those memories are the only thing that outrides the horrible memories with him. They’re the only thing keeping her safe and she felt like she was about to give that up.

Spencer stood outside the room waiting for Hotch to give him the go ahead to talk to her. He felt almost sick to his stomach with nerves. Even though he had to do this it felt like he was doing something horrible by asking her, the person he’s loved the longest, to relive the worst things that have ever happened to her.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do it Spence, she might be more comfortable with a female,” J.J. asked as she put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Emily and Derek who were standing besides Spencer knew that Spencer was the only one who could talk to her about this, but J.J. didn’t see the conversation between Spencer and Y/N.

While Spencer and Y/N were talking, Derek and Emily were watching from afar hoping she would help them find this killer. They saw her relax with him, and they knew that she needed to be relaxed to do this.

“I don’t know J.J. you didn’t see her react with Spencer, she felt comfortable with him, when she released a sigh after you put your hand on hers,” Emily says with doubt that she could be like that with J.J. Derek nodded agreeing with Emily.

“Pretty boys our only way in,” Derek says, patting Spencer on the back.

Startled Spencer jumped not even listening to the conversation he was supposed to be involved in. He was too entranced by her, the way she grasped the necklace he gave her. He smiles at the memory, and at the fact that she kept the necklace he gave her. But he also saw the way her knee kept bouncing up and down and taking deep breaths.

She was anxious. Which was understandable.

“Okay Spencer you’ll be the one to do the EMDR with her, everything’s set up in there, if she wants to take a break she’s more than welcomed to take a breath,” Hotch told Spencer as he came up to him with Rossi by his side.

“You okay kid,” Rossi asked with concern, lacing his tone.

“Yes don’t worry about me,” Spencer firmly said as he rubbed his eyes.

Everyone watched him with worried glances as he entered the room Y/N was in.

Spencer gave her a tight Smile as he stood in front of her with his fingers wringed. She gave him a smile back and he could see the tears brimming her eyes. Years later he still hated that.

“It won’t take long will it,” Y/N whispered as she felt her throat tightened as an invisible hand came up to choke her. She swallowed a little, feeling her throat start to dry up. Spencer looked at her with worryness swarming those beautiful eyes she loves so much.

“It depends on your definition of long,” Spencer responded as he took a seat next to her. She saw the light they put up in front of her and she felt her heart in her throat as they were doing that.

“Like all night long, I kinda have a dog I need to feed,” Y/N says as she releases a shaky breath she’s been holding for too long.

“It shouldn’t take that long,” Spencer answered.

“Okay what is this EMDR therapy and how does it work,” Y/N asks, she just wanted to eat this done and over with. She stands up knowing she’ll have to be eye level with the light. Spencer followed in suit standing right next to her.

“EMDR therapy is a phased, focused approach to treating trauma and other symptoms by reconnecting the traumatized person, in this case you, in a safe and measured way to the images, self-thoughts, emotions, and body sensations associated with the trauma, and allowing the natural healing powers of the brain to move toward adaptive resolution. It is based on the idea that symptoms occur when trauma and other negative or challenging experiences overwhelm the brain’s natural ability to heal, and that the healing process can be facilitated and completed through bilateral stimulation while the client is re-experiencing the trauma in the context of the safe environment of the therapist’s office. Romas Buivydas, PhD, LMHC, vice president of clinical development for Spectrum Health Systems, says EMDR therapy is an eight-phase treatment. “It identifies and addresses traumatic experiences that have overwhelmed the brain’s natural coping capacity, and, as a result, have created traumatic symptoms, such as flashbacks or anxiety, or harmful coping strategies, such as isolating behavior and self-medication with alcohol or drugs,”” Spencer explains taking multiple breaths in between breaths. Y/N looks at him in shock at the huge pile of information she has just received from him.

“Okay what type of EMDR therapy am I doing, I know there are different types,” Y/N asks with a tiny voice.

“Since you probably already saw the light we were doing the eye movement one, you’ll stand right here,” Spencer put his hands on her shoulders and moved her a little to the left. “And you’ll keep your eye on the moving light, at first I’ll ask you to have a happy memory, then we’ll move into the other stuff at your pace,” He explains.

Y/N nods and takes a deep breath while closing her eyes for a minute. She can already feel the tears try to escape from her eyes, feeling like a prisoner. Opening her eyes, Spencer notices the shine from the tears and he tries to give her a comforting smile.

“Let’s get this over with,” Y/N mutters, balling her fist at her sides.

Spencer nods going to the light stand and turning it on and she stares into the green light going back and forth. She can already see herself getting hypnotized by it. Spencer returns to her side but also gives her some space.

“Okay Y/N tell me about a memory that makes you feel happy,” Spencer asks in a hushed tone. Y/N nods as her eyes continue to follow the light.

“The memory where we first met is still one of the happiest memories that I’ve ever had,” Y/N explains as the green light fades into that memory, seeing herself talk to Spencer when the two of you were just young.

“I remember that,” Spencer smiles at the memory, remembering every minute of that day. “Anyways explain to me how you felt, or even what you smelt that day,” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck, he can feel his nerves start to peak.

“I remember,” Y/N begans to say as she takes a deep breath trying to remember what it smelt like. “It smelt like spring, right after it rained and while the flowers are blooming,” She smiles as the smell of the flowers enters her nose. “Meeting you felt nervous because I’ve never had any friends and wanted to make an impression on you since you were a child prodigy,” She explains as he frowns, she’s never told him that. “But then I began to feel more happy with you when I figured out you wanted to be my friend as well,” She says as a tiny smile begins to form on her lips.

“Now tell me about what you saw and what did you feel,” Spencer asks, scratching his jaw as he looks at her, stilling following the light. He knows he’s gonna have to ask the hard hitting questions soon and he’s not looking forward to it.

“I saw the park filled with little kids who look like they’re having the times of their lives, I also see you talking to me and I feel nervous since I’ve always been a pretty shy kid,” Y/N mutters as she picks at the skin around her nails. She feels herself finally relaxed as she stands in the memory.

“Are you ready to move onto the other questions,” Spencer quietly asks, feeling his heart beat against his chest as he asks her. Y/N bites her lip, her eyes on the lights and is still deep in the memory. As much as she doesn’t want to do this she has to, she has to do this for other women who can get their lives saved.

“Yes,” Y/N answers quickly.

“Okay now go back to the night that you escaped, what did you feel against your skin, look around you what do you see,” Spencer questions trying to pressure her, to make her overwhelmed.

The memory changes right in front of her and now she’s lying on the bed with her arms tied around her back. She can feel cloth in her mouth as her body aches.

“I feel myself on a cot or bed thing with ropes that are tied behind my back and my feet are tied as well. There’s a cloth in my mouth to keep me from screaming,” Y/N explains with a quiver in her tone. She looks around and notices she’s in the middle of the room, the bed frame. Looking across the room, she notices the door that’s cracked a little and sees the light. “I’m in a room and there’s a door across from me and it’s open, and all I’m thinking is this is my chance,” She explains as tears stroll down her cheeks. “There’s a knife on a table across from the bed.”

“What do you do next Y/N,” Spencer cautiously asks, not trying to press any buttons.

“I get up and hop to get the knife, I turn around and pick up the knife and carefully start to cut up the rope,” Y/N quietly explains as Spencer watches her intently. “Usually rope is thick but this is thin and it’s tight,” She explains herself even though she didn’t have to. “Anyways it takes me about 5 minutes to get the dam rope off and once I’m free I take off the rope from around my feet and the cloth that was inside my mouth,” She rushes out as she feels anger course her body.

“Okay slow down and look around the room, do you see anything that stands out that might identify this guy,” Spencer asks in a comforting tone and she feels safe whenever he talks. She doesn’t understand it but maybe it’s because she knows him.

Y/N looks around the room and notices something on the dresser where the knife was at. “I see a picture frame and he’s in it,” Y/N says with panic in her voice as she hears something down stairs.

“Who else is in the picture Y/N,” Spencer asks as he starts to get somewhere.

“I don’t know I hear something down stairs,” Y/N explains harshly. “It takes my attention away from the picture.”

“What’d you hear,” Spencer quickly asks.

“Children laughing along with a woman telling them to calm down,” Y/N explains as tears continue to spill out of her eyes. “I hear his voice and I know it’s my only chance, I hear the door close and I carefully walk to the window and look outside of it and I see him and he’s looking straight at me,” Y/N whispered horsey as her throat tightens as he sees his hard stare. “I have to go, I have to get out of this house before he gets me again. I run down the stairs and head straight out the back door just in my tank top and shorts and run like hell not looking behind me because all I know is he’s right behind me to bring me back to that hellhole,” She she’s out as she looks away from the light and a sobs rakes through her body.

She puts her hand on her mouth to subdue the cries but she knows the escape right through her fingers.

“It’s okay you’re safe now,” Spencer coos her as he steps towards her. She turns around him with tears pouring through. “Don’t worry you’re not there with him anymore,” He whispers.

As she sobs she wraps her arms around his waist and cries into his chest. Immediately he wraps his arms around her shoulders as he whispers comforting words into her ear telling her she’s fine and she’s safe now. He caresses her back trying to comfort her more.

“Did I help,” Y/N shakily asks in between sobs as she looks up at him with tear stained cheeks, whilst tears are still pouring out.

“You did but you don’t have to worry about that now,” Spencer whispers as she nods. “Okay breath in and out copy my breathing,” He says. He takes a deep breath and she follows breathing. He breathes out and she follows again. He does this a few more times until she feels calmer than before.

Resting her head on his chest he rubs her arms up and down softly trying to soothe her. He kisses the top of her head as he brings them down to sit on the couch where she almost immediately curled up to his side.

Even though Spencer’s mind should be on the case, and should be going out of the room to debrief with his teammates, all he could think about was Y/N. She was the only thing on his mind as she let out tiny sobs into his chest, he couldn’t just leave her especially in this state. She needed him and he was going to be here to help her through this.

His hand was trailing down her back, doing a soothing technique and it worked. He could feel her breathing start to slow down and her sobs start to die down and she was now starting to feel a bit drowsy. Letting her rest her head on his chest, she dug her head even further into his shirt as she began to fall asleep.

Spencer didn’t care. She needed this. Some sleep after this stressful day.

As soon as she was asleep Spencer took this time to examine her, she was relaxed. It made him happy that she could get some restful sleep. He brought his hand to her forehead and brushed some of the hair away and leaned down to peck it. He froze as he felt her shuffle but then relaxed as she immediately fell asleep again.

The hand on her back never stopped caressing as he wanted to make sure she could get more sleep. He was going to have to move soon, his teams going to need help with the case but for the moment he could sit here and comfort her while she slept.

On the other side of the room the team looked in on them in shock about what they just heard.

“We never profiled that he had a family,” J.J whispered, still a little in shock. The team tore their gaze away from Spencer and Y/N and went to the whiteboard where the information was laid out.

“It might not be the family, just the father and the others oblivious,” Derek suggested sitting on the edge of one of the desks.

“I mean I get the kids not knowing that there's some woman upstairs in a room but the wife has to know something, any wife would be suspicious that her husband would be sneaking out of the room and into another. She can't be that naive,” Emily explained her theory.

“You’re right she’s either involved or just knows and doesn’t say anything to protect her family,” Hotch says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It could be out of fear,” Rossi suggested.

“I don’t think so if it was out of fear it seems like she would’ve gotten out of his household a long time ago, at least to protect her kids from some rapist murder,” JJ interjected.

“We’ll figure this out later when we catch the guy for now let’s get Garcia on the phone.”

——-

Feeling someone shake her away Y/N shot up from Spencer’s chest as he looked at her with guilt. She stretched her arms looking at the clock, noticing it was late, 12:00 am late. Letting out a yawn she stands up trying to get her bones less stiff.

“Sorry for waking you but my team has just had a breakthrough and we might have found the guy,” Spencer says standing up right beside her. Y/N widened her eyes in shock and little happiness. Spencer can see it in her face, hope, hope for the man who did this to her is finally going to be caught and brought to justice. Her eyes lit up like the sun when he said those words.

“Really,” Y/N gasped out.

“Yes but I need you to look at some pictures to see if this is the right guy, if you don’t want to do this-,” Spencer began to say but was interrupted by Y/N.

“No let me see him so you can lock this bastard in jail where he’ll never ever see the light of day,” Y/N snapped as she felt fire coursing through her body. She could feel the heat crawling up her body and to her face as she became angrier and wanting to find this guy.

“Okay,” Spencer responded calmly, a little surprised by her outburst but he knows it’s understandable. He grabbed out a picture that Hotch printed out and gave it to her. “Is it him,” He asks as her eyes scanned the picture.

It was. He could see it in her eyes. The panic, the fear. Looking at her now suddenly stiff body he could definitely see it. Her fingers squeezed around the paper and it crumpled a bit, her breathing began to become more and more shallow. Feeling her heart in her throat while looking at the man of her nightmares, she tried to say it was him but her breathing couldn’t let her do it. She could feel his hands around her throat again as if he was really here choking the life out of her.

Spencer took the picture of the man out of her hand and wrapped his arms around her shoulder as she buried her head into the crook of his neck as she finally broke down crying. His hand returned to her back and began to caress again trying to soothe her. But all he could feel was her sobs coursing throughout her whole entire body. All Spencer could do now was hold her while she cried her heart out.

Looking up Spencer nodded to Hotch who was on the other side of the glass. Deciding to leave them alone Hotch went back to the team as they found the address of the guy and were preparing to go and arrest him, and possibly his wife.

While the team was out getting the guy Spencer stayed back with Y/N, trying to keep her calm. Eventually she dosed down the crying and removed herself from his chest and looked up with tear stained cheeks.

“Are they gonna go get him now,” Y/N asks while whispering it in a hoarse manner. Her throat was almost raw from the crying and it was starting to affect her.

“Yeah they just left 22 minutes ago, it shouldn’t be much time since the guy was staying in a cabin and it’s not a long drive unless there’s traffic and that’s a whole different story,” Spencer rambled which made Y/N crack a smile. She loves his little rambles.

“I’m so glad you came here,” Y/N whispered as she wrapped her arms around her body, starting to feel insecure. “If you hadn’t this guy might have killed more girls and haunted the life out of me for the rest of my life,” She murmured under her breath.

“I missed you,” Spencer mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact with her as he rubbed the back of his hand, a self soothing manner he’s learned.

“I missed you too,” Y/N whispered, her hand was going to one of her scars but Spencer caught it before it made contact with her skin. She looked at him confused.

“You don’t need to do that anymore, he’s going away for life,” Spencer whispered as he stepped closer to her. His voice was firm but soft and comforting at the same time.

Before Y/N could say anything she looked out the window that stood near the door and saw him. He was in handcuffs as he had a black eye. She gasped as she saw a woman who was right behind him, also handcuffed.

She turned around, letting a gasp out in relief.

“See he won't ever hurt you again and I will make sure of it myself that he gets the maximum penalty and he will never ever see anything besides a four by four cell,” Spencer says with a twinge of anger seeping into his veins and he hopes he hadn’t scared her with his angry rant.

Instead of being scared she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head into his shoulder and let out a few tears but instead of being sad and out of fear, this time it was happy. She was happy that this made could never ever hurt anyone including her. Although she knows his face will haunt her nightmares forever she can have the peace of knowing he can't hurt anyone.

“Thank you so much Spencer,” Y/N trembled against his frame as relief flooded her body. His arms immediately went to her waist hugging her back.

“We wouldn’t have been able to have done it without your help,” Spencer whispered in her ear.

[angelhotchner]

can I request an au where reader first time with hotch after two years of pining after each other?? and the reader has a praise kink, if ur comfortable writing that hehe thanks

ahhh thank you for this request, I really enjoyed writing it!!! I hope you enjoy it <3

Masterlist

Finally

NSFW Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader Contents: Smut, Oral-giving, praise!kink, penetration. Format: Drabble / One Shot CM Timeline: AU set in canon, after 3 x 11 'Birthright'. Word Count: 3K.

You couldn’t say how long you’d wanted Aaron Hotchner. Possibly from the first moment that you saw him, but the want had grown stronger and stronger over the last two years. You’d find any excuse to brush against him ever so slightly, or a reason to linger in his office for longer than you needed to. You’d also try to do your best at work to please the man - which sounded low, considering you did your job to stop evil - but along with the justice and the crime-fighting adrenaline came the praise that he’d give you, usually just a soft ‘good work’ and a curt nod, but it was enough to get a motor running. You’d always smile bashfully, trying to hide the fact that your panties were a little soaked. You’d always replay his words in your head on the way home, to the point where you’d arrive at your apartment with a small river pooling in your underwear. You’d lie back on your bed and touch yourself, relieve the tension you had in life to the imagination of you touching him, pleasing him as he uttered praises to you, his voice catching from excitement. You stopped watching porn the first time he gave you praise.

But with your lust also came a softness. A need to make him happy that was as desperate as your need for him to fuck you. You savoured the rare smiles he had and couldn’t help but bask in the refreshing happiness that he always had after spending a weekend with his son. You were there when he was served the divorce papers, and your heart had broken in two for him. He’d confided in you about the divorce a few weeks later, holed up in his office late at night - him leaned back in his chair behind his desk and you curled up on the couch. Sometimes it felt more important to support him than yourself, to be behind him every step of his life, but whenever he confided in you he’d always turn the conversation around. Checking in on you too.

You convinced yourself that it was his job to check up on his team and you’d still have that same belief if it wasn’t for Emily.

It was just under two years after you’d joined the team that she brought it all up. It was wine night - a holy tradition that had become a sacred part of yours and Emily’s schedule. Once every two weeks, you’d stay over at her place for a much-needed relaxation night usually consisting of a movie, cuddles with Sergio and a bottle of wine. The movie would come first, accompanied with the wine, and then the gossip would start - then you’d be putting the world to rights as you drained the bottle together.

That night, the conversation was locked onto Hotch.

“I can’t believe how much he praises you,” Emily began, giggling. “I mean, I don’t think I can tell you two times where he’s said something to me,”

“Maybe it’s because I’m the fresh agent,” You shrugged, but Emily cut you off with her splitting laughter.

“Fresh agent? You’ve been with us for like, what, two years? Nah, he’s got a thing for you,”

“He has not,” You’d pushed her shoulder gently as you reached for the wine bottle, refilling your glass, but your heart had jumped into your throat.

“He so has, Y/N. Hotch doesn’t do smiles and praise and…confiding,” Emily grinned. Your eyes widened. “What? We know things. We know about those…late nights in his office,” She wiggled her eyebrows at you, still giggling as she drained the last droplets of wine from her glass.

“He’s just checking up on me. I mean, he has to, right?” You swallowed, your stomach erupting with butterflies.

“I mean, sure - at the yearly evaluations,” Emily scoffed. “Y/N, even Rossi says he’s never seen him act like this around another agent. I’m telling you - Aaron Hotchner has a soft spot and your name is written all over it,” She concluded, a victorious smirk on her lips.

“Whatever,” You shook your head, but the next month started to tell you that she may be right.

At the end of the next case, you paid close attention to Hotch. Emily was right - he never really gave anyone praise but, without fail, he sat across from you on the jet home and gave you the iconic ‘good work’ and then stood up quickly, leaving you alone. Then you started noticing how close he got to you. On the next case, you were pretty much constantly in the same place. He’d bring you to the precinct with him when you landed, then you’d both check out leads and locations together, or stay in the conference room of the PD. Even your hotel rooms were next door to each other.

But the one thing that sealed the deal was when you had wrapped up the case and the team stayed an extra night in Florida. Everyone was set on going to a bar to de-stress, but you felt exhausted and the idea of a hot bubble bath was tempting you back to the hotel. As soon as you said you weren’t in the mood, Hotch backed out too. As if he would only go for you.

He drove you back to the hotel, both of you silent. Your mind was reeling from the case and your thoughts weren’t coherent. It had been a difficult one. They say every agent has a case that stabs them right in the gut and it stays in your core, resonating with you - sometimes for no reason. This seemed to be your case. When he arrived at his hotel room, right next to yours, he nodded at you.

“You did excellent on this case,”

Usually, you’d do your bashful grin routine, but you felt too tired and hollow to think. You gave him a small nod back, before opening your hotel room door and diving straight in, running the hot water for that bubble bath.

The soak did you good. You spent easily an hour in there, the steam making it difficult to breathe at times, but the hot water felt like comfort against your skin, easing away all the stress and pent up emotion. When you started to badly resemble a prune, you reluctantly got out, a fluffy towel wrapped around your body as you sat down on the edge of the hotel room bed, thinking.

A knock at the door interrupted your thought flow, and you furrowed your eyebrows as you walked over, still wrapped in the towel, and looked through the peephole.

Aaron Hotchner.

You opened the door slowly. There stood Hotch indeed, his tie and suit jacket missing. A few buttons on his shirt were undone, his shoes gone and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. That was the moment that your brain replayed his praise from an hour ago, and your body covered itself in goosebumps. You half-hid behind the door, visibly aware of your now-hard nipples poking through the towel.

He took the half-hiding as an invitation to enter, striding in slowly as if it was his room too. You shut the door behind you and leaned against it, almost as if you daren’t walk any closer.

“Are you alright?” He asked, his voice soft and quiet.

“It just wasn’t a good case,” You mumbled, sighing, and he nodded in agreement. His eyes roamed your body quickly, as if he’d only just noticed that the only thing covering your body was a towel. You squirmed a little.

He stared at you for a second. There was an argument in his mind - you knew the man like the back of your hand, and you knew that look on his face. Figuring out how to say something.

He gingerly took a step forward - then another, then another until he was only a foot away from you, still backed up against the door.

“You didn’t smile when I commended you earlier,” He said, and your body went rigid. Was he noticing that? “You always smile when you’re praised,”

The way he was looking at you right now was far better than anything you’d ever imagined when you came around your own fingers most nights. He looked at you as if you were the highest form of humanity, something to worship, but with a glint of amusement. Playfulness. Cockiness. Arousal? He took another step closer, closing any gap that you’d previously had between your bodies. You could feel the form of his chest against yours, his nose inches away.

And the scent. His scent, so close to you, so tempting, turned you primal. Your hand came up, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pulling him against you. The hotel room door made a thud where your bodies collided against it. You could feel every single part of him through his clothes and your towel, and he gazed down at you, bringing a swarm of butterflies back to your stomach. He pushed himself against your body, more than you thought was physically possible. Your heart was thundering as you felt the hardness of his dick press against you.

His hand came up and stroked your face carefully, before settling under your chin and pointed your head up towards his.

“You’re a good girl, aren’t you?” He half-whispered, his voice dropping down in volume and almost an octave in pitch. You let out a low groan, your eyes fluttering shut and a euphoric smile plastered on your face. Surely you were hallucinating. Or you were dreaming, again, and you’d wake up in a few hours soaking wet.

“Such a good girl,” you heard him mumble. Soft lips slowly trailed against your own - delicate and tentative - as if he was relishing the moment before everything would change. His lips then set a target onto your own, his mouth closing in over your bottom lip. With a soft whine, you kissed him back, the passion slowly building as the kiss turned from soft puckers to sloppy grasps. Your hands snaked up to his hair, interweaving the dark strands around your fingertips as you explored his mouth. A fire had began in your core, and you could have sworn you felt the wetness in between your legs heighten at the very second you pulled on the ends of his hair softly, and he awarded you with a low groan into your mouth. The towel slipped away from your body as he pulled back slightly, and his eyes fell straight down to your chest.

“Lie on the bed for me,” He muttered into your ear, his teeth softly grabbing your earlobe as you moaned. You obeyed him, half in a daze, walking over to the bed. He was right behind you, his eyes focusing on your butt as you walked.

You turned around and sat on the edge of the bed, watching him for a second before you lay on your back, completely exposed to him.

“If you aren’t comfortable, you need to tell me,” “Okay,” You whispered, the goosebumps glowing on your skin as you watched him rake in the image of your body naked on the bed, like he was committing it to memory.

“Good girl,” He mumbled, with a hint of a smirk on his face.

He placed his hands on either side of your hips and leaned over you on the bed. He began planting soft kisses, starting at your neck and working his way down to the bottom of your stomach. With each kiss, a blaze of heat followed it, dancing around your nerve endings as you relished in the feeling of his mouth.

“This is so much better than my imagination,” You blurted out, and he stopped, hovering above your skin. His eyes connected straight with yours, a coy smirk on his face.

“You’ve imagined this?” “More than once,” You admitted, and his smirk became one of a cocky grin. “What did you do? Did you do…this?” He asked, and his thumb suddenly stroked your clit. You awarded him a high pitched moan, your back arching out from the feeling. You tried to nod, but your neck was locked up.

“Or…did you do this?” He asked again, slowly edging his ring finger inside of you. You cried out again, the tension overriding your ability to speak.

“Or did you do…this?” He asked for a third time, diving two fingers straight into you and flicking them up and down, hitting your walls with his thumb tapping your clit lightly. No warning - nothing - and the sudden change of touch was enough to bring the build-up of an orgasm to the horizon, as your response came out in a series of curses and moaning. You managed to warn him, choke out that you were close in between your turned-on wails. “That’s it, come on, beautiful,” He ushered you, and his words surged electricity through your body.

“Fuck!” You screamed, as the build-up started to enter it’s peak. You were seconds away.

“Say my name,”

“Hotch!”

“Say my name,”

“Aaron! Fuck, Aaron,” You screamed. So close.

“That’s my girl,” His words were like a final checkpoint. The orgasm crashed down on you, hard and unwavering, as you came around his fingers, trembling with glassy eyes. You could feel every single nerve in your body, every single hair, every goosebump as the hot releasing feeling washed over you with a force.

He slowly removed his hands, leaning forward to stroke your hair as you slowly returned back to reality. You stared at him, beads of sweat forming on your forehead, your hair sticking to your slick neck. Everything seemed hazy, almost in slow-motion, as all you could do was smile and wait for your brain to reconnect.

“What do you want?” He whispered, and you let out a tiny chuckle.

“I want you,” You began, voice hoarse. “In my mouth,”

He nodded, his grin matching your euphoric one as he removed his clothes. He kneeled up next to you, stroking his dick as he watched you. Gently, he helped you to sit upright.

You placed your fingers into your mouth, sucking lightly and he watched with blown pupils as you released them from your lips, dripping with your saliva. You leisurely dragged your wet hand along him, and he let out a short, higher pitched gasp as the warm feeling ran over him. You leaned forward, one hand holding the base of him, the other massaging his balls as you planted a soft kiss at his tip. The sound he made when you took him completely in your mouth was a groan that you’d never forget. You began sucking, bobbing your head backwards and forwards as you massaged him at the same time. Once you’d set a pace for yourself, you pushed your head further, until he hit the back of throat, his pubic hair tickling your nose.

“Such a good girl,” He mumbled over and over, which only spurred you on as you switched between sucking and deep throating, your hand never straying from his balls.

Without warning, a hand grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you backwards, releasing him from your mouth with a sharp pop. You glared at him, his breathing radical and his face twisted into an expression of pure lust. He was getting close.

In a silent agreement, he moved to in between your legs, pulling them apart.

You studied the exact moment in front of you, hoping that you would never ever forget it. Aaron Hotchner, with his hair sticking up in tufts and his shoulders rising and falling erratically, naked and watching you like you would disappear in the next few seconds.

“Are you ready?” He asked, and you nodded with a smile. He entered himself into you slowly, filling you up, and you both let out a simultaneous groan.

“Look at you, taking all of me like such a good sweetheart,” He murmured, before slowly thrusting into you, hitting you in the best spot already.

“Just for you,” You whined, and he slowly pulled back until he was almost all the way out.

“What did you just say?”

“I said,” You leaned up on your elbows. “I’m only good for you. Just for you,”

That struck some kind of chord with him, because in seconds he started a faster pace, thrusting into you as if his life depended on it. The room was a mixture of groans, whines and the sounds of skin slapping from contact as he fucked you well into oblivion, hitting the perfect spot every single time. Almost like his body was made to ruin yours.

“Now, you’re going to be even better,” He huffed, breathless, as he pulled your legs onto his shoulders, giving him more access. His hand came down and began rubbing at your clit. “You’re going to cum all over my cock, just for me,”

“Just for you,” You repeated, before your voice was taken over by a series of moans and screams as he fucked you, the pace of his dick and hand never faltering. That feeling was coming again.

“And you’re gonna cum for me…right now,” He commanded, and your body listened to him. He was God to you right now, your body obeying every command and when he told you to cum, you did - harder than you ever had done before, losing all touch with reality and logic as your legs shook uncontrollably on his shoulders. Your head felt empty, and your shoulders felt pulled from the way your back arched as he drove into you, his release coming too.

“That’s my girl,” He whispered, breathless, as he collapsed his head onto your chest, both of you reeling from the highs of the night.

When the world slowly returned to you both, he pulled out of you. He cleaned you up, before lying down next to you. His arms came around your waist as he pulled you closer, both of you still sticky with sweat.

“I imagined it too,” He sighed, and your eyes widened.

“Emily was right,” You chuckled. Aaron raised his head to look at you.

“Wait, what?”

“Emily said you had a thing for me,”

“My god,” He shook his head, a look of amused shock on his face.

“What?”

“She told me you had a thing for me, too,”

You burst out laughing.

“We had a wingman and didn’t even know it,” You chuckled, and he laughed with you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

-------

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[word-scribbless]

Lucky to Have You

I have been wanting to write but just haven’t been inspired and then I saw a gif of bearded Hotch and my writers block was cured for a little. Enjoy the fluff!

Aaron Hotchner x female reader

Masterlist

——————

You sat on Aaron’s bed curled up with a sick Jack, all the blankets you could find, and coco playing on the tv.

God you missed your boyfriend.

You had been dating Aaron Hotchner for a beautiful 6 months before all hell broke loose.

Emily Prentiss, one of your very best friends and former co workers was killed, your boyfriend was sent to Pakistan and you were just trying to keep yourself together let alone Jack and your BAU family. That was 3 months ago now.

You laid there at stroking jacks hair and thinking of the choices you’ve made in the past year, how proud Emily would be of you and how much you really miss her and Aaron. You pushed the tears about Emily away and focused on how far you’ve come from having a hopeless crush on your boss, to laying in his bed taking care of his son.

You had transferred from the BAU to linguistics about 2 months in to your relationship. You had always wanted to end up there and figured you’d do the fun dangerous job before you settled down. Then you met Aaron and Jack and you knew right away that you were ready to be home more, you were ready to be with Aaron Hotchner with out it being a secret.

Before your relationship began, you worked with the BAU for about a year while slowly falling in love with your boss. You two had become the best of friends. Emily, pen, and jj always told you he wanted more too but you couldn’t let yourself believe it. That is until the day he had an emergency meeting with Strauss and Jessica was called away to help her dad. You automatically offered to watch Jack. You smile as you remember overhearing Hotch tell Dave the problem.

“I know I should have a back up but all my back ups are here Dave, I’ll just ask someone to go get him and bring him here…”

You had ran up to hotch’s office to drop off paperwork when you heard his talking to Rossi.

“I’ll watch him” you volunteered right away.

It took a few minutes of convincing but finally he gave in and you spent a perfect afternoon with Jack until his dad got home around dinner. All three of you sat down to eat the dinner you made. It all felt perfect and meant to be. Turns out Aaron felt the same way.

“Y/N thank you so much” He said as he walked you to your car door that night.

“Always Aaron you know that”

“But thank you for everything. The two of us are so so lucky to have you.” He said as he placed a hand on your hip and you leaned into him a bit.

“I’m lucky to have you both” you said as he leaned closer to you “I’m so glad to have you Aaron.” You whispered before he leaned in and placed the most perfect gentle kiss on your lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled as you pulled apart and he leaned his forehead on yours.

“Will you let me take you out Y/N.” He asked sweetly and you couldn’t stop your giant smile as you nodded.

Since that perfect night she and Aaron had started the best relationship she ever had been in.

As you laid in bed with Jack you thought of your boyfriend. The man who lost a team mate, a friend and been sent to Pakistan away from his son and girlfriend. You thought about how much you wished he was with you both. Curled up around you and Jack making you both smile and Jack feel better.

A few hours later you and Jack had both dozed off. You woke up to the ringing of your phone. Every time you woke up you automatically would reach for Aaron then realize that he wasn’t here. As you fought the inevitable sadness you answered your phone and heard Derek’s voice on the line.

“Is everything okay?” You asked.

“Yeah, I need you to come in got word from Hotch.”

“Be right there let me call Jess.” You said as you slipped out from under Jack.

About 20 minutes later you were driving to Quantico thinking about the last phone call you had with Aaron. You driven in to fill him in about Jack and talk to him and Derek about Doyle. Of course you hadn’t stopped looking even if the FBI thought you had. You didn’t have much time to just take him in, his voice how he was. God you missed that man.

As you walked in to the conference room where you were told the team was your mouth dropped. There standing the head of the room was Aaron Hotchner. Next to the Emily,, alive and well. You knew he had been hiding something, you also knew sometimes he had to keep secrets from you. You hated it but knew this was for a reason, as much as it sucked… you would get over it. right now all you could do is be happy your best friend was back, and your boyfriend was here. And he was sporting the sexiest beard you had ever seen.

You paused and your keys dropped to the floor as you locked eyes with him.

Quickly Emily ran over to hug you. You were thankful for her support since your legs felt like jello.

“I missed you!” She said into the hug.

“I’m so happy you were fake dead I can’t even made that you guys lied your faces off.” You said as you felt Emily chuckle into the hug and she watched Aaron physically relax. He must have been nervous you would be mad. Jj must have known too because at your words she physically relaxed as well.

“You may be the only one not mad.” Emily breathed.

“Eh they’ll get over it, being you’re alive and all.”

“Yeah well I think you’re boyfriend might need some extra support.”

“Gladly” you said as Emily let go so you could move to him. The rest of the team huddled around her, giving you both space as you collapsed in Aaron’s arms.

He scooped you in and you broke down. He had you so tightly wrapped in his arms and you hadn’t felt so safe in months.

“Y/N I’m so sorry. I I had to.” He whispered against you and you shivered and squeezed him tighter as his voice cracked with emotion. You close your eyes and take in the feeling of his hands, his handsome beard, his strong body.

“I’m not worried about it, I hate that you had to lie to me, and leave, but all I care about is you both being home safe.”

“God I got so lucky” Aaron whispered.

You knew you would always hate the fact that you had to grieve your best friend and that your boyfriend had to lie to you and be away from you for 3 months. However she couldn’t deny she couldn’t be mad at him or her friends for doing what they had to.

“Me too aaron.” You say as you hold him. “And don’t even get me started on how lucky I am to see you with this this beard!” You said flirtatiously as you stroked his cheek.

He smiled at you and winked. “I’m sure Jack will hate it but I’ll keep it for at least a night.”

You laughed and winked back to him. “ that’s all I ask.” You said and kissed his cheek.

“Now let’s get this bastard finally so Jack and I can have you home!”

“Anything to be back with my favorite people.”

Later that night You were back in Aaron’s bed wrapped around Jack again, except this time you were looking into the incredibly handsome eyes of your boyfriend. Jack had jumped for joy despite his aching throat when his dad walked through the door. As Aaron had guessed he didn’t love the beard but agreed that he could deal with it for a few days when his daddy said you liked it.

You reached across Jack and cupped his cheek smiling as he turned his head to kiss your hand.

“I know this is an awful way to do this, but please stay, officially move in with us. I know you were staying here between leases while I was gone, but I don’t want you to look for a new place. Move in with us?”

You smiled with tears in your eyes

“I was really really hoping you’d say that!”

Jack woke up just a little as Aaron leaned in to kiss you.

“Ooo were kissing Y/N” he whispered as he kissed your cheek.

You giggled and Aaron hugged you both saying “I asked Y/N if she wanted to keep living here with us.”

“Yayyyyyy!” Jack rasped out and hugged her.

“Don’t you wanna know if she said yes?” Aaron laughed to his son.

“You have your giant Y/N smile on ofcourse she said yes!” He said to his dad with a ‘duh’ face

“I am so happy both my boys are here!” You say as you snuggle them both to you and smother their faces with kisses.

Tag list:

@averyhotchner @andreasworlsboring101 @mac99martin

[alltooreid]

Invisible String

Although Spencer Reid and the Reader don’t find themselves in a romance with each other until well into their adulthood, their relationship has been decades in the making. Almost as if something as been pulling them together all these years. 

A/N: sorry for such a long wait but i’ve been struggling a lot mentally as of late. i hope you guys enjoy this one shot!! As always requests are open and heavily encouraged!! And of course this is inspired by the taylor swift song of the same name :)) Also keep in mind although the following scenes are heavily inspired by some scenes in Criminal Minds, elements of them have been slightly altered to fit in Y/N as a character.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Type: a cute strangers to lovers fluff fic!

Word Count: 3.9K

Content Warnings: typical criminal minds case discussion, mentions of child trafficking when discussing this case, but no real detail. slight spoilers for season eight (beginning maeve stuff) and tiny spoilers for season fifteen (briefly mentions max but nothing really important to the plot at all)

“Time, curious time Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs Were there clues I didn't see?”

You had met Spencer Reid 3 times before you had really met him.  

It was almost silly to think about it now. Now that you and Spencer have been dating for 3 years, it was strange to believe there were so many chances for you two to meet years earlier.

When you were sixteen years old, you got your first part time job. You worked at a self-serve frozen yogurt shop called Iced Dreams. You hated it so much. Your manager was a total creep, your older coworkers were rude and condescending to you, since you were one of the youngest people working there, but most of all you hated the uniforms.

Consisting of a very stupid looking hat, bright pink with randomly embrodiered teal patterns, an outdated bright teal shirt, it had been given to you from a dirty bin in the back, and judging by the sewn in shoulder pads, it had to be at least a couple decades old.

So one day, you didn’t wear the hat.

It wasn’t entirely purposeful. You couldn’t find it, you searched your room, you searched your car, so eventually you had to leave without it to prevent being late. Still, as you clocked it and passed the box of extras in the office something made you decide to leave it alone.

You were about 8 minutes into your shift when your manager approached you. “Y/N? Where’s your hat sweetheart?” You hated this man so much. You had gone to your parents time and time again, recounting his creepy behavior towards you and the other teenage girls who you worked with, but they refused to let you quit.

When you had started working there, he used to enforce this ridiculous rule that all the female workers had to wear skirts as part of their uniform, but you had gathered all the sixteen and seventeen year olds who worked there and all threatened to quit if he didn’t change the policy. So you were no stranger to breaking and defying the rules.  

“Yeah I couldn’t find it, sorry.” you shrugged.

He chuckled and reached his hat out to touch your face. You jerked back, you almost wanted to refuse to wear one of the stupid extra hats just so that you could get fired.

“Well, Y/N its policy sweetie. No matter how special you are to me you still need to wear the hat. There’s extras in the office.”

“No way I’m wearing one of those. I bet they have like lice or something.”

He pursed his lips and sighed “Well I suppose that beautiful hair is just too pretty to wear a used hat huh. . . What do you suggest? If you’re working you have to wear it.”

You laughed, “Well you could let me go home.”

He paused, “Why don’t you go sit in the office, I’ll come talk to you in a minute.”

So you did, for about 10 minutes you sat in the office, surrounded by frozen yogurt flavor marking posters and boxes of old uniforms, and each passing minute you feared for the worst. Maybe you were actually getting fired? You really didn’t want to go that far, because, as much as you hated it, you really needed this job.

When your manager finally came to talk to you he held a small salted caramel frozen yogurt, your personal favorite flavor, and a twenty dollar bill. He handed them both to you.

“You seem so stressed Y/N, why don’t you take the day and go get lunch. My treat,” he said, smiling that weird twisted smile that always made your full body shiver.

However you were broke as hell, and no teenager in their right mind would ever pass up free food, so you took it, grabbed your keys and started to leave

Yet as soon as you walked out the back door you dropped your frozen yogurt, cup fully upside down, onto the pavement. You cursed, you hadn’t even taken a bite of it yet, and it looked like he had put coconut flakes on it, and you loved coconut. Still, you had your twenty bucks, and that was a pretty sweet pay out considering you were only clocked in for about 20 minutes.

So you got Chinese food, and spent what was supposed to be your shift in the shopping mall across town, completely and blissfully unaware of the fact the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI was dragging your manager away in handcuffs.

➽───────────────❥

Young Spencer Reid had only joined the FBI about a month ago. Despite being a genius, and providing crucial information to the solving of cases, he was aware of the most obvious. He was only twenty two years old, and he was scrawny as hell.

He felt this intense need to prove himself, especially to make Gideon proud.

So when they got a case about a the kidnapping and sex trafficking of teenage girls, he saw it as something he could really involve himself in. Based on the profile, it wasn’t going to be a large, strong, confident unsub who Morgan needed to tackle. This man would be ugly sure, but he would be a manipulative mastermind. Reid could work with that, he could prove himself.

He surprised everyone with his sheer work ethic and determination to find this man, and through consistently revising and delivering the profile soon enough they got a hit. A young woman in her early twenties called the tipline and reported her own manager. Insisting he fit the profile perfectly, and described how strangely he treated the minors who worked there, and how he almost exclusively hired young girls, treated them great and then switched as soon as they became legal.

So Garcia did her magically digging, and soon enough the FBI was tearing up a frozen yogurt shop, looking for any evidence of pedophilia. Garcia was even brought along, as she was pivotal to discovering any secret files in his computer.

At first, all they could find were strange compilation videos and under employees skirts. Spencer, and the rest of the team, were struggling to connect how he could get so many videos from an angle like this without anyone noticing or reporting him, until Gideon uncovered an old dusty pair of shoes, in which the right one held a small camera at the toe.

Although this was absolutely disgusting, it wasn’t enough to prove he was running the ring or kidnapping the girls, so Garcia kept digging. Meanwhile, Spencer tried to make himself useful by checking out the back of the store.

That’s where he found your clock-out receipt.

“Hey guys, we might want to take a look at this,” he shouted out.

Morgan grabbed the paper from his hand, “Ok, I don’t get it kid, it’s trash.”

Spencer pointed to the details on the slip, “Yeah but it says here she clocked out 18 minutes ago after only working for 23 minutes and 46 seconds. If this guy is our unsub, this girl could be in a lot of trouble.”

“Maybe she’s still here, has anyone checked out the parking lot yet?”

Spencer shook his head, and followed Morgan out the back door. There they discovered some almost completely melted salted caramel frozen yogurt.

Morgan bent down to investigate, “Yeah, we gotta get this to the lab, but I can tell you right now that there’s clearly more than just coconut topping this yogurt. It also means we have another victim.”

Spencer crouched down as well, “Not necessarily.”

“What do you mean kid? We’re missing a teenage girl and we’ve already found illegal evidence on this guy's computer. She’s in trouble.”

“Well judging the shape and inscription of these pills it appears to be some pretty strong rohypnol, almost certainly prescription grade. And ingesting it like this means she probably would have begun to feel its effects fairly early, I would predict 15 minutes. She clocked out 18 minutes ago, so even if she left exactly at that time she would have certainly crashed her car on the way home. The nearest residence is 8 minutes away from here, we’re in a complete shopping district. There’s only two cars out here and neither have a passed out driver, so I would bet she didn’t eat any of it. Also, the only spoon out here is still wrapped in plastic, “ Spencer analyzed.

Morgan sighed, “Well what do we even do then?”

Before Spencer could answer Hotch opened the back door. “We got him.”

Spencer turned to Morgan, “I’m sure her phone number is somewhere inside, I say we call her and make sure she’s ok. She probably doesn’t even know this is happening right now.”

So he did find your phone number, and although he initially pushed the phone to Morgan, he just chuckled and pushed it back.

“No way pretty boy. You’re the know-it-all with all that profiling out there, you can call her,” and before he could protest Morgan left, so Spencer was left to call you.

And strangely, for it being the first time he would ever interact with the love of his life, he thought nothing of it.

And that was the first time you had met Spencer Reid.

➽───────────────❥

The second time was years and years later, when you were waitressing night shifts to make extra money. You had never forgotten meeting Spencer Reid the first time, but this was the first time you would ever see his face.

You were slightly concerned when you got a call from a man, whose name you had now long forgotten, claiming he worked for the FBI. Although you weren’t incredibly surprised to hear your manager committed such heinous crimes against children, you were taken aback by how close you had come to becoming one of his victims.

But that was 9 years ago. In your college days it became a fun story you told at frat parties, but you were 25 now. Sometimes you would think about the incident when you couldn’t sleep, and if you were feeling feisty you would use it as an icebreaker or a “two truths, one lie” statement, but otherwise you didn’t really think about it.

You had plenty of other things to worry about, in fact, that’s exactly why you worked so much. It was so much easier to forget when you were constantly preoccupied with complaining customers and terribly awkward blind dates.

You had just sat this man, incredibly handsome, however it was clear he was on some kind of date. His reservation was for two, and he spent way too much time adjusting his clothes and table setting for him to not be trying to impress someone special. He also brought a gift, which judging by the packaging and shape, seemed to be some kind of wrapped book.

Even though he was 15 minutes early for his own reservation, he still looked really nervous, almost like he already believed she might not show up. You couldn’t help yourself, you had to go talk to him.

“Anyone ever tell you you should model?” you started with.

He looked up “Excuse me?”

“Sorry for being so bold, you just look so familiar,” he weirdly sounded very familiar as well, but you didn’t tell him that. “Are you sure you haven’t modeled? You have excellent bone structure. I bet you could.”

He laughed to himself, “yeah I’m sure.”

“Well your date is very lucky either way. I wish I had a boyfriend as handsome as you. Actually I wish I had a boyfriend period, but that’s a whole other story.”

He chuckled, and although you knew in your heart that you shouldn’t be flirting with him considering he was 15 minutes away from being actively on a date talking to him made you feel something you hadn’t felt in a long time. “What happened with your boyfriend? Do I even dare ask?”

“Well I kind of always knew he wasn’t super interested in me, but I really liked him, so I did my best to ignore his wandering eyes,” you sighed. “That didn’t stop him from leaving me for his coworker though.”

“That’s terrible.”

You smirked, “That’s not even the worst part, he broke up with me over a 27 second phone call. He didn’t even let me respond, he just kind of hung up.”

“I’m sorry, no one deserves that. Especially not you. I’ve only been talking to you for a couple minutes and I can tell that.”

“Oh really? What makes you so sure?”

“I’m pretty good at reading people.”

You smiled, “Well I should probably stop flirting with you now, considering your date hasn’t even started yet. And don’t worry, she’ll show, you’re so handsome she’d be stupid not to.”

He looked confused. “You were flirting with me?”

You laughed, “I thought you were good at reading people?”

He smiled back at you, and it made your heart soar, this silly, pure goofy smile that made you want to replace his date and have dinner with him right then and there.

You walked back to your hostess stand. A couple minutes later you noticed the handsome stranger on the phone. You thought nothing of it until later when a woman came in, clearly nervous, holding a gift bag.

“Can you give this to Spencer Reid for me please?” You recognized the name, the man you were just speaking with had filed his reservation under it.

“Um, yeah sure, aren’t you going to go in? He’s at that table over the-” but before you could finish your sentence the woman was gone. Your heart sank, poor Spencer, how could someone drop their date off a gift but stand them up anyway? That’s just cold.

When you get up to bring the gift to him, he’s already heading out of the restaurant himself.

“Sir? Spencer? Dr. Reid?” he turned his head. “A lady came in and dropped this off for you.”

His face dropped, it almost looked like he was about to cry. “Thank you,” he said as he looked up at you before leaving.

He ran out the door, both gifts in hand and whipped his head around a few times before sighing and speeding off in one direction. Even before you learned what happened after that and leading up to it, you felt terrible for the handsome stranger.

How could you not for someone so clearly distressed? Someone so clearly in love?

➽───────────────❥

7 years and a divorce later you were spending your Saturday in a park, strangely contemplating love itself. Although you barely remember that night all those years ago when you spoke to Spencer, he did. Vividly. In fact, on this Saturday you both were in a public park, contemplating your many failed attempts at true love.

It was your first wedding anniversary without your husband. Although you had only been married for two years, you still were having a hard time navigating life without him. 

You started to wonder if you would ever find the true love you had been wishing for since your youth. Was 32 too late? Had you lived out all of your opportunities?

When you were little your mother had told you that all soulmates were attached at the left ring fingers, by small, incredibly thin strands of gold string, invisible to the naked eye. She insisted that these strings were constantly trying to pull you and your soulmate together, and that when life was ready for you two to meet, you would. 

Until then, you would have small, mindless interactions. Things you wouldn’t think about, maybe even things that weren’t interactions at all. You would get the same commercial jingle stuck in your head. You would both get an intense craving for the same food. You’d have the same dream. 

As a kid you were obsessed with this idea, you thought it was so romantic, and you fully believed everything your mom told you about it. You always asked her for more stories, and at bedtime you refused to sleep unless she would tell you more.

But now you were sure soulmates, true love even, didn’t exist. The invisible pretty gold strings your mother weaved fantastic stories with were completely fabricated. If they weren’t, you would have seen the clues by now.

Right?

➽───────────────❥

Spencer Reid was given an assignment from his therapist. He had to spend his Saturday off trying to interact with a stranger. Making friends with someone other than his colleagues may seem like a simple task for some, but it was something the young genius had almost no experience with.

He understood that it was probably for the best. He wasn’t exactly great with relationships of any kind, but especially not romantic ones. It didn’t take a genius to know that a couple of flirtations, a dead girlfriend he had only seen once, and a long time unrequited (or at least he thought unrequited) infatuation with his best friend and godsons’ mother was not a very great track record.

He, just like you, was also beginning to believe that he was hopeless when it came to love. That 38 was too old, that his time to meet someone and have the children he dreamed of had long passed.

But right as he was about to call JJ, to see if she would invite him in on the case Garcia had started to work on, he saw you.

Unlike you, he remembered your face and your interaction vividly. That almost date with Maeve was one of the biggest defining moments of his life, and what are the chances that the waitress from that very night was now less than 30 feet away from him, reading under the green leaves of a tree.

He wasn’t going to say anything, until he saw the book you were reading.

The Narrative of John Smith.

It must have been a sign, for what he wasn’t exactly sure yet, but it just had to mean something. The universe had to be reaching out to him, he had experienced crazier things.

And just as he was about to walk over to you, to close the gap between the gold strings tied around your ring fingers, a child interrupted his train of thought.

“That’s a strange haircut.”

➽───────────────❥

Derek Morgan and Spencer Reid were finally reuniting after many years. They barely got to see each other these days, but even though he was teaching and working at the BAU, Spencer still was willing to clear his schedule to second Derek suggested they meet up.

Morgan was excited as well, both to see his friend and to hopefully help him get a date. Sure, he had liked what he had heard about Max, but he wasn’t exactly surprised it had only lasted a couple months between her and Spencer. They just seemed too different.

Plus, now he got the chance to play wingman again, and he was ecstatic about that. Spencer not so much.

“I don’t know Morgan, it’s only been a couple months since we broke up. Wouldn’t it be too early to start talking to other people?”

“Pretty boy, you and I both know that the rate in which you’ve had relationships is not even close to the average. You need to balance that out somehow.”

Spencer sighed, he knew Derek was right, but he still felt strange.

“Morgan, have you ever heard of the red string of fate?”

“No, but I’m sure I’m about to hear all about it.”

“It’s an East Asian philosophy, based on the discovery that the ulnar artery connects the heart with the pinky finger, actually that’s where the belief in pinky promises come from. The reason it’s integrated in so many different cultures is that-”

“Kid, you’re losing me here,” Morgan interrupted. “Finish your thing about the string.”

“Oh yeah, sorry. It’s the idea that human relations are predestined by a red string that the gods tie to the pinky fingers of those who find each other in life. Legend has it that the two people connected by this thread will have an important story, regardless of the time, place or circumstances. The red string might get tangled, contracted or stretched, as surely often happens, but it can never break. Essentially, the idea is that although we might not realize it, our lives move in a pre-ordained direction, guided by invisible strings that are woven into the fabric of the Universe itself. And all the while, the red thread connecting us to our distant soulmates is getting shorter.”

“Well it’s an interesting theory kid, but it’s a lot to think about. I mean, we’re in a bar, let loose a little bit. Not every interaction has to be about getting closer to your soulmate. And sure, maybe you’ll meet them one day, maybe even soon. But you’re here now, and just because your one true love may not be, doesn’t mean it’s not worth it to be here.”

Spencer sighed, “You’re right. I don’t even know if I believe in that anyway, maybe I’m just looking for something to explain this all.

Derek patted his friend on the shoulder, “okay pretty ricky, this is how it’s about to go down. I’m going to buy you two drinks. You’re going to take both of them, and go find someone, anyone here to go talk to.”

“Ok, I think I can do that. Who?”

Derek looked around, trying to find who he believed would be the best match for his friend. “How about her?” he asked, pointing at you.

Spencer couldn’t believe it when he looked. There you were, the girl, the one he had met three times before, even if he could only remember two. The woman he knew was some sort of universe sent sign that Saturday he saw you underneath the greenery. The girl he was so close to talking to before he was interrupted by Max’s nephew. The woman who (and he obviously did not know this at the time) he would marry 3 years later. The one who would carefully knit the baby blankets for all of their friends and exes. The one who he would adopt 3 children with. The woman who, he was now sure, was at the other end of his invisible string. The girl he needed to talk to right now.

“Is it just me,” Morgan said, “Or does she look kind of familiar?”

“Yes,” Spencer responded, “yes she does.” He got up quickly and started making strides towards you.

“Wait!” Morgan called, “You forgot your drinks!”

“I don’t need them!” he shouted back. When he sat down next to you, you smiled. It made his heart soar, you had this silly, pure goofy smile that made him want to ask you out right then and there.

Instead he settled on the only conversation starter he could think of.

“Have you ever heard of the invisible string story?”

And you couldn’t help but laugh.

“A string that pulled me Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold tied me to you”

- Thank you for reading! Please reblog and let me know what you think :))

[dungeons-are-too-cold]

can you make something where 16 year old spencer reid convinces the team to consult for them with something along the lines of "im going to get into the fbi anyways so it doesn't matter! its like a test drive!" the team would be the season 3 team (it can not be that team i just find rossi funny) im sorry if it bothers you that i request again-

It’s no bother at all!!! I love this suggestion and I literally can’t get enough of crazy uncle energy from Rossi and young Spence! I have them working a case in Vegas for this one, also I made him 17 cuz that’s when he got his first doctorate, and I thought that would be funny lmao, hope that’s alright. Warnings: one instance of curse words Word Count: 960

“Uh, I found this kid on the steps out front. He basically solved the case already so I thought I should just, ya know, let him tell you.” Rossi stood at the door of the Las Vegas precinct where the BAU was holed up for the last week.

“Rossi, you can’t just let a kid into an FBI investigation.”

“Speak for yourself, Morgan, he’s adorable!” Penelope squealed. She immediately started to fawn over the young man. “Hotch, can I take him for coffee?”

“I think we should let him speak about the case first, Garcia”

“Yes sir. Should I…give him a case file?” she asked, slightly confused. Penelope didn’t want to scar the young man but considering the fact he has obviously been following the case on the news, she wasn’t sure what he had already seen.

“Let’s see what he knows first. I’m-,” Hotch started as he introduced himself with a hand extended.

“SSA Aaron Hotchner. I’m a big fan of your work,” Spencer interrupted. “Also, I don’t quite shake hands, but believe me I am pleased to meet you.  I’ve been following your cases.”

“You have been?”

“Yes. I met Agent Gideon two years ago during my undergrad, and he thought I would make a great candidate for the BAU someday, so I’ve made sure to keep up with your cases, read all of your reports, I follow all of the news stories. This is the first time you’ve been in Vegas so I thought now would be as good a time as any to introduce myself and offer my assistance.” Spencer was so self-assured that he could help solve the case.

“Undergrad? Kid, you’re like 16.” Morgan could not believe what he was hearing.

“17 actually.”

“I don’t believe I caught your name?” Hotch said as he tried to get the conversation back on track. There was still an unsub on the loose after all.

“Dr. Spencer Reid Ph.D., Mathematics from Cal Tech.”

“I think you can see why I thought he was helpful,” Rossi joked.

“Hold up, how do you get a Ph.D. at 17?”

“Cal tech is very loose with its rules, Hot Chocolate, as long as you can pass their exams, its great publicity,” Garcia added

“We can talk about this later, we have a missing girl we need to find.” Hotch attempted to get things back on track one more time.

“Yes, so I was looking at your crime scene photos released to the press and all of them have pieces of an equation hidden in the messaging, and I can help solve it but I’m going to need all of the pieces.”

“Garcia, pull all of the images we have from the scenes, we’ll see if he can piece it together from there. I will let him help, but I will not allow him at the crime scenes.”

“Respectfully, sir, I can handle it.”

“Respectfully, Doctor, I don’t care. Children do not belong at crime scenes, in any capacity.”

“I’m basically in the Academy alre-“

“Please don’t test me. You may be a doctor, but I’m in charge here. When you get to the BAU, you’ll understand that.”

“You said when!” Reid said excitedly.

“Equations?”

“Oh, yes sir.” Reid hopped into a chair next to Penelope as she pulled up the work that she had been running through her systems.

“Well, that’s why your algorithm can’t solve the equation, it’s in the wrong order.” Spencer rolled his chair in front of the laptop and began to type away. “Even though this was the order that the crime scenes were found, your M.E. report should show that the third crime scene is actually from your fourth victim chronologically, am I correct?”

“Morgan? The report?” Hotch said to a stunned Derek. He couldn’t believe the work the kid was doing, and he got lost in his disbelief.

“Oh uh, yeah it came in today” he said as he gazed over the file. “The kid is right, how is he right?”

“Considering the preliminary geographical profile I mocked up from the news reports, the unsub is actually moving in a very specific pattern around the city, essentially creating a connect the dots of an image. The image, if my predictions are correct,” Reid mumbled as he moved to solving the new equation, “should create the answer to the equation: 16.”

After effortlessly whizzing his way through the equation on Penelope’s laptop, the young man bolted to the map of the city that the team had up on the board. Taking a thick black marker, Spencer connected the dots of all the previous crime scenes. The lines created the partial image of the number 16.

“The crime scenes are also all 16 miles apart, which clearly shows us exactly where the unsub will strike next.” He then takes a red marker and circles the exact location.

“Bingo.” Reid had circled a collection of college dorms as the final location the unsub would be striking.

“I mean, it fits the profile perfectly,” Emily chimed in. “We profiled he was fresh out of college, maybe a grad student, I mean the advanced math. The kid is good.”

“Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?” Morgan finally exclaimed. The fact that everyone seemed so nonchalant about a literal child taking over the investigation was starting to get to him.

“Oh, is someone angry that he isn’t big man on campus anymore?” Garcia teased.

“We can worry about your ego later, Morgan.” Rossi chimed in. “We have an unsub to catch.”

The team rushed out to the SUV’s out front, leaving Garcia and the young Doctor Reid at the precinct. Garcia was the first to break the awkward silence they found themselves in.

“So, coffee?”

I do realize now that I totally didn't include JJ, I hope that's okay lmao. This one was really fun to write so I really really hope you like it! Send me an ask/request here! Check my masterlist here!

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

I’m On Fire [Chapter 1]

Summary: With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

A/N:  This is the first part in a series, I’ve written the first few chapters already so I’m hoping to update pretty regularly! I hope you guys enjoy, and any feedback is always appreciated! ❤️

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: None really for this chapter, cursing? Mean-ish Spencer

Word Count: 6.5k

Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist 

I wasn’t at the BAU long before it started to feel like home. The team became my family, pure and simple.

Having been recruited by Hotch at only 22 I'd sort of fallen into the roll of the little sister to the team without really meaning to. It's not that I was naive, or particularly sheltered even. I know I'm good at my job, and I'd want to be, given how my life's revolved around it almost entirely. But the team seemed to adopt a protective mindset over me right off the bat.

When I first joined the FBI everything was terrifying. I worked so hard for my PhD, trying to get into the unit, but there's almost nothing that can actually prepare you for the real thing. Being out in action in the field, working the cases out in real time. Sometimes they had a smooth, easy conclusion followed by loud obnoxious drinks together. Then there were the others, the ones that kept me up for days after and felt as though they owned little pieces of my heart still.

It was JJ that helped the most on those horrible flights back on the jet. Noticing my anxious ticks and uneasy disposition after that first case that had ended badly. JJ had been through it all before, taking too many cases home with her. Seeing her son's little faces in the kids that we couldn't help. If I was the baby of the team JJ was the big sister, looking out for everyone.

Morgan on the other hand was the outrageously cool older brother, the one you just wanted to be. Early on he'd helped my weak self with the ruthless fitness regimen the FBI required, he offered to pull some strings and get the test written off. But I couldn't accept that, there was something in me that just wanted to impress Morgan, and honestly still does. Like somehow if he thought you were cool, then it became true. So I passed the exam, but getting up a flight of stairs was near impossible for a week after.

Emily was probably the fun aunt. The one that would sneak you booze at the family gathering, or take you to your first concert. Emily was actually the one who'd found me, digging around colleges for potential recruits she'd had me picked out for a while I later found out. Insisting that Hotch give me a shot. It was reassuring to know I had someone who would stick up for me from day one.

I was an tech analyst, among other things, sort of a counterpart for Garcia in the field. So it was no surprise to anyone when the two of us hit it off as though we'd known each other forever. We weren't the same by any means though. Penelope was bold, and bright, and confident beyond measure, where I've typically felt like more of a blend into the background type. I've always thought of myself that way, despite my achievements. I'd also always believed I was fairly inoffensive, no one I'd met had ever had a huge problem with me, 'till I got to the BAU that is.

Every rose has its thorn I suppose.

That thorn in my side was Dr. Spencer Reid.

It wasn't that Dr. Reid was a bad agent, or even a bad person. I hadn't actually met him before that first day in the conference room, but I'd known who he was for a long time. Before I came along he'd held the mantle of 'youngest ever recruit' in the unit, while I was studying I'd read any of his work I could get my hands on because of that fact.

I figured it must've been some sort of hazing when he looked me up and down that first day I was introduced, and then proceeded to blank me entirely for a full week. Up until I'd wrapped my first case.

The whole team went straight from the jet to the bar. Proceeding to get far too drunk. Spencer joined, which the rest of the team found unusual, and I probably should've taken as a sign of things to come.

That case went well, and everyone was in high spirits but Reid had a sour disposition, at least it seemed that way every time he looked at me. After a few too many drinks I went outside in an attempt to sober up in the cold air, unfortunately Reid must've snuck outside not long before.

"Ugh" was all he said when he first caught my silhouette approaching him. The night was unusually cold so it had been deserted outside the bar that evening. I wasn't really sure why it made me nervous to be alone with him like this, the two of us leaning back against the same small area of brick wall, looking out at the cold night.

"Nice to see you too doctor" was all I could muster, I was drunk enough that I let my sarcastic tone leap out, "you can relax, I'm just trying to get some fresh air, it's too stuffy in there, and loud. I'm not here to talk to you or anything."

"Well aren't you a sensitive thing" he responds in kind, at that point I wasn't really sure if it was a coincidence or if he'd been genuinely avoiding me, but things were starting to clear up.

"I'm sensitive, that's a fun take on things" I joke, taking a long sip of cold water from my glass.

"And what's that supposed to mean, newbie?" his emphasis on the last word all but confirms my suspicions.

"Fuck man, what's your problem with me? Is it because I'm new, or because I beat your stupid record?" I quip. hoping that at the very least it might coax him out of his shell. Dr. Spencer Reid getting angry at me could honestly be better than the nothing I'd been experiencing from him until now.

"What stupid record?" he sounds genuinely confused

"I'm the youngest BAU recruit now?" I didn't know why else he could be so sour. He'd never met me before last week, and since he'd ignored me that first day I'd done all I could not to step on his toes. So if he had a reason to hate me this much, it wasn't something I'd done on purpose.

He takes a few moments to respond, raising his eyebrows and considering the information. He chuckles. He fucking chuckles.

"That's funny." he says, his voice leveling out, "I didn't peg you as funny newbie" that word sets something off in me again. Something about it is dismissive, or belittling. Before I could fight back he starts to move, maneuvering around me and heading back inside. A little too tipsy to think of anything constructive to say, I just mutter "Fuck you Spencer."

He swings open the door, as he walks inside he just says "See you Monday, Newbie" without even looking at me.

And that was only the beginning.

----

"You know I'm just trying to make sure you get enough rest sweetheart. There's no need to get so defensive!" it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this call. Since joining the BAU a few years ago this was a standard call from my Mom. Equal parts well meaning and over-bearing, and generally asking far too many questions.

"I'm not getting defensive Mom, I get plenty of rest, my job is just very important to me and you know that." I knew she was right to be at least a little worried, this job was consuming, and in all honesty I wasn't sure how people like JJ were married and still here. It seemed like an impossible feat.

"Fine sweetie, how are your co-workers doing then? How's Penelope? Give her my love" she loved Penelope, I think she thought that Penelope tethered me to the normal world, and in a way she was right. She kept me sane, and fun, and made me eat pizza and do face masks once a week at least. Even when I didn't think I wanted to.

"Pen's great Mom, everyone's good. Well, the usual ones get on my nerves, but I'm fine." As I say it I glance across at Dr. Reid, the only person who's also in as early as I am most days. I'm not sure if he can hear me but he's tapping his pen so loud on his desk that it takes all of my energy not to walk across the bullpen and stab him with it.

"Y'know what Mom, I'm actually just after getting to work and it's a busy day so can I call you back later?" I chance, getting her off the phone is always an ordeal.

"Fine, fine, I'll let you go. But wait one last thing!"

I knew what was coming. It was always coming.

"Are you seeing anyone, Margot's been wondering too, just thought I'd check in?"

Pinching the bridge of my nose and trying not to scream down the line, I just sigh out the frustration instead.

"No Mom, believe it or not, I've made no progress on that front since you asked me all of 3 days ago."

"See you are being defensive!" she snaps

"I gotta go, bye Mom. Love you!" I say, hanging up quickly before dropping my head down into my arms on my desk, resting like that for a few moments in silence.

Hearing Garica chuckle behind my ear I perk up and spin around. She's holding a small paper cup of coffee and hands it to me. I look at it confused, "Sorry about the paper, I couldn't find your mug in the cabinet" she apologizes, looking over at Dr. Reid and rolling her eyes. Now I know he can hear me from his seat, he takes that moment to sip from my mug and place it gently back on his desk.

It hadn't taken long for him to start toying with me. It was always stupid childish things. Things I couldn't get genuinely annoyed at, that would give him far too much satisfaction, knowing he was getting to me in any real way. This was one trick he liked to play if he got into the office before me, he'd take my mug and make his coffee in it, just to spite me I guess.

"Why does he even do that, it's so stale" she said, just a little louder than normal to make sure he could hear. Garcia and Reid were still good friends and team-mates but she liked to stand up for me when she could. He liked to avoid me as much as possible so he'd usually go to Garcia before me if he needed help with something. Even when the two of us were out in the field together. Which was obnoxious but it was just another thing I'd gotten used to over time. And as long as it didn’t interfere with the case I just forced myself to let it go.

"I know it's such low grade bullying isn't it?" I shot back with a chuckle.

"So I'll take it that was Mommy dearest" Penelope gestures to my phone. She knew my Mom, and she knew about her general overbearing energy. I let out a groan thinking about the call again, and the calls that were to come.

"Isn't it always Mommy dearest?" I joke

"So she's still on your ass about the wedding then?" I'm sure Penelope was almost as sick of hearing about it as I was,

"Margot's getting married in like 4 months now, and every time Mom calls there’s just some new hometown loser she wants to set me up with Pen. It's fucking exhausting" I take a sip of the coffee she made me, savoring the bitter taste. She sits down on my desk for a moment, leaning in.

"Honey, did you ever think that if you got out there and found someone, she wouldn't be on your ass at all?" I don't want to think about that, about how she's completely right. All I can do is let out another small groan and lean back down onto my desk.

"Too early Pen" I say, it's muffled by the desk but she gets the message. Hopping up and heading to her own office as some more people start to arrive for the morning.

Leaving me alone to make a start on my paperwork that had built up throughout the week. Fridays were usually slow like this, giving me a little too much time to think. I couldn't shake the thought that my Mom and Penelope were actually right. Maybe I was a bit too invested in the job, and maybe that was a pretty big factor in why my last relationship imploded but I wasn't about to admit that to anyone.

----

After that the day crawls by, thankfully no cases pop up so the weekend might actually be free. Trying to make sure I clear up all of my paperwork takes a little longer than I'd hoped and leaves me alone in the bullpen. It seems like everyone's gone home by the time I've packed up and I'm ready to leave. Which wasn't as out of the ordinary as I'd like it to be really. Everyone else seemed to have somewhere to be on a Friday night.

Waiting for the elevator to arrive my phone started to ring, I could see my Mom's caller ID on the screen. If I just let it go I know she'll call back later, may as well get it out of the way. I take a deep breath in anticipation before I answer.

"Hey what's up?" I answer, stepping inside the elevator as the doors ping open.

"Hi sweetie, I've got good news! Do you remember David? That lovely boy, he helped out your Father that summer in high school?" I know what's coming and rub my temple, trying to stifle the headache I know is coming. As I answer a hand slides between the elevator doors, popping them open again.

Dr. Fucking Reid walks in, and he looks about as happy to see me as I am to see him. I make eye contact and look away just as fast, willing him away with my mind. "Yes Mom, I remember him, why are you telling me this?" I already know the answer but I'm fed up, she still sounds excited when she responds.

"Well you won't believe it! I ran into him at the market this morning and I thought you'd like it if I passed on your phone number to him, maybe for the weddi-" it took all I had not to shout into the receiver, and maybe I would've had the elevator been empty.

"Mom! Jesus!" I have to reign myself in, but I have a bad idea, "You know what, I'm actually sorted. I've got a date lined up now" I'm not sure why I said it with no real plan in place. She sounds even more excited than I've ever heard her.

"Oh my, that's amazing sweetie! That was fast, I can't believe you found one since this morning, it's someone from work so?" she assumes, and I'm just not thinking fast enough to correct her.

"Mmhmm, yeah" I'll figure out the logistics later I rationalize.

"Oh! Is it that boy you're always on about, the one who teases you?" she asks, and her voice is full of joy, and it makes me feel horrible that I'm lying already, and that I'm going to let her down.

"Yup, that's the one, look Mom I gotta go, I'll talk to you later! Night" I blurt out so fast it has to be obvious I'm nervous.

I can hear a stifled chuckle behind me. Fuck. How loud is my phone speaker. Could he hear that. Surely not. But this elevator was completely silent. The doors open and I have to stop myself from running to my car at top speed. Instead I walk out just a little faster than normal, turning around to shoot him a small wave goodbye. And he's got this devious smirk on his face that makes my stomach turn.

Sitting into my car I pull out my phone to text Garcia immediately.

I'm on my way to yours right now. It's urgent.

——

Traffic's light so it takes maybe 10 minutes before I arrive at Garcia's place. My mind's racing and my body takes me there on autopilot. Why did I say any of that, why did I even answer the damn phone. Why did I wave goodbye to Spencer, I never usually did that. Maybe that's why he had that look on his face. Maybe he was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier and it had nothing to do with me at all. That was something he'd do to mess with me for sure.

How was I going to walk this back with my Mom, she was just gonna have more questions that I couldn't answer. Fuck.

Garcia buzzed me up and her door was open for me by the time I got up the stairs. This little purple apartment had become my second home. It was where I spent most of my evenings off, laughing on the same sofa I was collapsing face first into right now. Garcia nestles in beside me and runs her hand over my hair, "Hey sweet pea, what's happening? I don't want to sound too concerned but you're not giving me much to go off? Are you dying, is there drama? You're going to have to tell me what's so urgent before I burst a blood vessel?"

I let out a muffled, "is drahmuh" into the pillow, Garcia shakes my shoulders.

"Sit up babe, damn!" I have to heave myself out of the pillows, sitting upright on the sofa beside her, clutching one of the pillows in my arms.

"It's drama" I repeat,

"Well, out with it then, you know I'll take all the drama I can get! Spill, spill" she rushes me along. I'm already apprehensive, Reid's her coworker too, but if anyone would understand why this was such an issue it was gonna be her.

"Okay, I'm after doing something stupid and I think I really need your advice" I cringe already, thinking back to the elevator, throwing out my words faster, I continue the story, mostly trying to get it over with, "my Mom called again when I was on the way out tonight and she was trying to set me up with this guy, and Reid was there, and I got all flustered, and I told her I had a date already" I throw my head down into the pillow again.

"Wait why was Reid there?" she looks like she's trying to fit puzzle pieces together and she's getting nowhere, "And what's the drama?"

"Shit Garcia, it was in the elevator and it was all quiet, and maybe he heard the call, maybe he didn't but he had this fuckin' look on his stupid face" I can't shake the smug little smirk, it's burned inside my eyelids. Garcia's face falls in what looks like disappointment.

"Ugh Y/N! That's nothing chill out, why does it matter if he heard your call? I know you guys are all weird but none of that is any of his business anyway!" she shoo's her hand in the air, dismissing the whole situation.

"No Garcia, it is his business now" I have to close my eyes when I say it, I can't look at her "I told my Mom that he was my date, well, I didn't say his name or anything, she assumed it was someone from work and so I just agreed, and then she suggested that it was him and then I fucking panicked Pen, I fucked up so bad. What do I do?"

I finally opened my eyes to look up at Garcia. She was sitting in pure silence, pursing her lips in what seemed like contemplation. The puzzle pieces finally slotting together. It's as though a light bulb goes off behind her eyes and she bursts out in fits of laughter. Doubling over on herself before finally taking a few breaths to calm herself down. I'm honestly not sure why she finds the whole thing so funny, she know's how needlessly annoying he's made my life, she's seen it first hand and heard me talk about it over and over again in this very apartment over pizza.

"Garcia, this is not fucking funny! This is serious!" I try to calm her down, I need advice not whatever this is.

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I love you dearly. But this isn't funny, this is hilarious. It's like you're Sandra Bullock in some mid-90's rom com. I love it" I don't love it, in fact I hate it. I nearly snap at her but pull myself back.

"Pen, come on, help me out. What do I do with this, how do I fix it?" I plead.

She stops laughing and pulls out her phone, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm going to order us a pizza, and we're gonna sort this thing out together, sound good?" I just nod and collapse back into the sofa. I think I feel better now that I've gotten it out in the open.

----

Penelope makes us tea while we wait for the pizza, she keeps lemon & ginger in her cabinet for me, just like I keep mint for her. The warm mug and the steam calm me down. After a few minutes alone to think about it I start to figure it out a little better. I figure I can just lie to my Mom for a while, it might suck but I can pretend for a bit and then make up some excuse as to why he can't come closer to the time. Then I can just bring Garcia instead and everyone's happy. I'm about to float my plan to her there's a knock on her door. I was so caught up that I hadn't really noticed quite how starving I'd gotten. Leaping up of the sofa to grab the door.

I swing it open but it's not the pizza guy. Somehow it's the opposite of the pizza guy, my worst nightmare is on the other side of the door. He must notice my eyes blow completely wide. "Y/N!" he says, more of a statement than a question really, like he's telling himself that he's actually seeing me in the doorway. I'm not as gentle.

"What the fuck are you doing here Reid?!" I can't even disguise my anger. He seems a little flustered, like he's got absolutely no idea how to proceed.

"Um, uh, is Garcia here? I can, um, I can just come back later?" he swallows hard and shakes his head, before I can agree and tell him to get lost Penelope races to the door, pulling it wide open.

"Nope, that won't be necessary Doctor! Come on in, you're right on time sweetheart" she waves him in and he walks past me, his demeanor changing almost instantly. He's smug, like he's won whatever battle this was. And I hate it. Though he's still as confused as me despite the newfound attitude. Reid sits down on the sofa, right where I had been sitting. I bite my tongue and sit on the opposite end.

"Are you okay Garcia?" he asks with a genuine concern, "What's going on, what was the emergency?". He's not stupid, he knows she's not in danger now that he's here. But he wants answers. I don't know that I've ever seen him this confrontational with anyone, well anyone but me. The entire time I’m staring her down as she sits in the armchair opposite the two of us. My keys are in my pocket and my car's right outside. I could just jump up and make a break for it. Escape.

"You know what Doc, you won't believe it but I'm not actually the one with the emergency" she takes a beat, and I'm starting to think that I might understand why people murder other people after all these years, "Y/N has something urgent she needs to talk to you about" she's silent for another moment, and she almost looks giddy, "Actually Spencer, you might already know a little something about the matter already, now that I think about it" she smirks, and it's pure joy.

My keys are in my hand ready to bolt when the doorbell chimes again. "Oh, that'll actually be the pizza this time, if you two will excuse me" she hops up out of the armchair and races to the door, leaving the two of us alone in a horrible silence. The tension is almost too much, I want to speak but I really have no idea what to say, or how to even start saying it. But he starts.

"Y/N what's going on, I feel like I'm out of the loop here? What am I missing?" he asks, and there's something uncharacteristically genuine about the way he says it, but he can't turn to look at me as he speaks. I almost want to let my guard down and just have a conversation but I can’t force myself to do it. "Shut up Reid." is all I mutter, folding my arms across my chest.

He turns sharply on the sofa to face me. "Hey Y/N. Believe it or not I'm about as happy as you with whatever kind of Parent Trap situation Garcia's got going on here. But from what I'm picking up on you've got a problem and I'm supposed to be able to help with it. So do you want to tell me what's going on or not? I can just go?" I can see that there's an anger bubbling right below the surface, threatening to burst. I know I shouldn't but I let him stew in silence for a little too long and he jumps up off the sofa.

"Y'know what, typical" he mutters, rolling his eyes as he says it, "this is all about you." he throws his bag over his shoulders and begins to walk towards the door. Something in me just snaps.

"All about me?! Are you fucking kidding? I've been tip-toeing around you for years, ever since I joined this damn unit!" I shout as Garcia comes back into the room, pizza box and plates in her hands.

"So, who's hungry?" Garcia asks, trying to break the tension, or pretending there's no tension at all. Reid shakes his head in disbelief and rubs his temple before he speaks again, "Actually I was just gonna head out" he gestures to the door, "I'm clearly not wanted here so I'm gonna leave you guys to it." Spencer makes a move to leave but Garcia grabs the strap of his shoulder bag, yanking him back ever so slightly before he really has the chance to escape.

"You are going absolutely nowhere kid" She points back to the sofa, "get back there" she glances to me, staring with far too much intensity. "You too, sit." Her voice is more stern than I've ever heard it, even while we were on a case. I can't help but obey her command and I sit back down on the sofa in silence. Followed by Reid, clearly processing the same uneasy feeling of a serious Penelope.

She sits opposite the two of us again. "Y/N, Spencer, I love the two of you with all of my heart, albeit separately, and I would die for either one of you. But you've got to chill the hell out!" she says it like she's had it bottled up forever. The tension that releases from her as she says it looks euphoric.

She opens up the pizza box and lays it on the coffee table and takes out a slice for herself. Taking a bite she leaves the two of us in stunned silence. Once she finishes the mouthful she turns to me specifically, "Y/N you tell him, or I will." dead serious. And the feeling in my belly is like I've just fallen down an elevator shaft.

My stomach is in knots as I turn to Spencer on the sofa next to me. His face is puzzled and I think I might be able to make out pure terror in his expression. I don't know that I've ever been looked at like this before and my stomach screws up tighter. I have to take a deep breath and I can't believe I'm about to say it. "Fuck it" I have to take another breath almost immediately so I just have to force the rest out, "I don't know if you heard the call I was on while we were in the elevator earlier?" I look up to gauge his reaction and I can see his face relax, and worse than that, one corner of his mouth lifts into a sort of smile. It's a look of pure smug satisfaction and I think I might scream. I have to close my eyes because I really don't think I can look at that face as I say the next part.

"My sister is getting married in a few months and my Mom's been on my ass to find a date for the wedding and she keeps trying to set me up with these losers, so I fucking panicked, and I told her you were my date." by the time the sentence is out my eyes have screwed up so tight it feels like I have to pry them open.

He sits in silence for too long. Thinking, maybe?

"So I'm the boy who teases you then?" he grins. So he did hear. And he did laugh. He looks far too self satisfied. Now he knows he's right. He knows I've talked to my Mom about him, that he's gotten in my head. I can tell from his smile that he's savoring the moment. Mostly because I can't slap the smug smile off his face I drop my head into my hands. In an effort to disappear I guess.

"So," he says, taking a moment, "is that all you wanted to say then?" he asks, lighthearted and obnoxious, back to his usual self. I snap back to reality, shooting my head back up.

"What do you mean is that all?" I throw back genuinely shocked,

"Is that all you had to say Y/N? Can I go now? It's a long bus ride home y'know" he smirks but makes no effort to move. He can't possibly be making me do this.

"Well no, obviously!" I stutter, "I mean, are you, will you, uh?" I can't bring myself to say it out loud. He leans in on the sofa looking directly at me, refusing to break eye contact.

"Did you have something you wanted to ask me Y/N?" I just want to smack that fucking look off his face,

"Fuck you Spencer Reid" I almost whisper under my breath, but Garcia snaps me back to reality.

"Hey!" she looks at me, stern again, "Ask him." it's not a question, or a suggestion, it's a command.

"Fine okay" I scrunch my eyes up again, "Will you come to my sisters wedding with me as my fake boyfriend?" I curl up into myself as I say it, I can almost feel the bile rising up from my stomach. Like I'm having a biological reaction to the whole thing.

Reid crosses his arms and sinks back on the sofa, like he's performing the act of thinking. He's considering my offer to make me squirm.

When he finally speaks he says "Well I would Y/N, but I really fail to see what's in it for me" he's after getting cocky now.

Garcia pipes up, excited, "Oh, Oh! I know! I have an idea!" she interjects, "Spencer remember how a while ago, back after your apartment flooded you were all all worried about your antique books and prints and stuff?" he nods, "Well Y/N could digitize the collection for you as a back up? I know you're a technophobe? C'mon Y/N, you know you could do that no sweat, and it would take you a lifetime alone Spencer?" I really don't want to admit it but she's right. Even I knew Reid was adverse to any technology that wasn't vital, but it was your specialty. And maybe that was a good trade off, a job like that would be near impossible for him to pull off without help. I take a glance over at Reid and he seems to have had the same train of thought as me. He lets out an exaggerated sigh and relaxes his posture.

"Fine, I guess that's a fair trade. I'm in." he resigns and I almost can't believe it. I'm barely processing the whole conversation as he sticks his hand out to me, I'm confused for a second before I grab it and shake it firmly. Condemning myself to whatever's about to happen. And it's not the time to be thinking about it but maybe this is the first time Spencer and I have ever touched? But I shove that thought away.

Garcia's positively beaming and she's not even trying to hide it. "Now it's like you're both in a Sandra Bullock movie, oh, but you're Hugh Grant maybe?" she points to Reid.

"Don't push it" I shoot in her direction, taking a slice of pizza, now that my anxiety stomach has sort of passed.

Once the pizza's been eaten in near completely awkward silence Spencer stands up off the sofa. His unsure demeanor has returned and he looks nervous. "I actually should get going this time" he says but Garcia pipes up to protest,

"No, it's not even late!"

"It takes me a while to get back home, thank you though Pen. For... this?" he gestures to the whole living room, "Night" he waves. He's almost made it to the door before I stand up out of my seat. I'm not really sure what comes over me, maybe it's gratitude, maybe it's guilt, or maybe I'm just exhausted.

"Wait Spencer. Let me give you a ride home?" I ask and it's like it's not even me saying it .

"Thanks, but I think I can make it home just fine" he dismisses, and there’s an antagonizing tone in his voice that snaps me right back to our usual rapport.

"I'm trying to do a nice thing here, fuck! Just let me do something nice!" I snap, and he throws his arms up in surrender.

"Fine alright, if it'll make you feel better"

"Fuck you Reid" I mutter under my breath and I sort of hope that he does hear me really. If he's gonna be hostile about this I can be too. I give Garcia a hug goodbye but I'm going to scold her for this whole thing later.

----

I lead the way outside and climb into my car, Spencer hops into the passenger seat and it feels as strange as always to be alone with him. Especially because it's not an accident, and it's not in work. Maybe this was a horrible idea. He seems like he's unwilling to break the silence, so I just get it over with.

"Where the hell do you live man? I'm gonna need directions." I say, as deadpan as I can muster, which probably isn't all that intimidating.

"Sorry, yeah, so you're gonna want to turn on the ignition" he teases. I definitely wasn't intimidating enough.

"Don't push it" I say, turning to give him a cruel stare, he just reacts with a smirk, that same one from the elevator earlier.

"Oh, I'm pushing it?" he asks, feigning disbelief

"I'll kick you out of this damn car" is all I can think to say. He barely responds, he just lets out a soft chuckle. I want to ask 'what's so funny' but he speaks before I can get the words out.

"I can't believe you talk to your Mom about me" he continues to laugh. That's enough.

"You know what Reid, of course I have! I work with actual murderers on a daily basis and somehow you've been the only real source of friction in my life since I joined the BAU!" He stops giggling a little, but not entirely, he looks like he's making an effort to contain himself.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just never knew I got to you like that" he still finds the whole thing amusing, but I sure as hell don't.

"Directions, now" I demand, looking straight out the front windshield.

"Fine, keep going straight on this road for a while and I'll tell you when to turn" he says, finally playing nice.

The two of us drive silently for most of the journey, the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually we arrive outside his building, and it's nicer than I thought it would be. But I have no idea what I was really basing that on. For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that Dr. Reid lived in an actual home, I had pictured him sleeping upside down in a cave maybe, or in a cryogenic chamber with all the other life-like genius robots.

"So," he says, breaking the silence, "When is this wedding?"

"4 months from now, in and around" I respond, matter of factly. Spencer nods, taking it in.

"Alright, so I've got 4 months, in and around, to learn enough to convincingly pass as your loving boyfriend. Doesn't sound so difficult." he jokes, his tone harsh and sarcastic.

"Look Spencer, I know this is insane and honestly kind of stupid. But in all seriousness, you can back out right now if you're not on board with whatever this is. I'm telling you this is the last exit ramp." I try to say it with sincerity, giving him a genuine out if he's not comfortable with the weird set-up that Penelope pulled on us both. He thinks on it for a moment and shakes his head.

"So how are we gonna do this?" he asks, and I really thought he was going to back out. So I don't have an actual answer.

"Well, I uh, I haven't really given a plan much thought. How about I come over and start working on some of the stuff you want digitized like Garcia mentioned and I can use the time to give you the footnotes on my life?" I suggest, at least that would make it easier to knock things out all at once. Rather than having to spend even more of my free time with Reid than necessary. He looks content with the improvised plan.

"Alright, sounds good." he undoes his seatbelt and opens the door to hop out of the car before turning back to me, "Are you coming inside or what?"

— —

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Series Masterlist

Masterlist

[write-orflight]

Settle Down: Chapter 6

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader (kinda enemies to lovers)  

Rating: M

Words: 2.8K

Warnings: None really

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary:    Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one thing you need someone else for… A baby. You can plantonically start a    family, right?

A.N: Kinda a filler chapter and I kinda made JJ a bitch in this chapter, oops. Let me know what you think and reply to this chapter or message to be tagged. much love- Cia

Chapter 6: Well, she’s a blob right now, so I hope not

You groaned when you woke up. 

Your head and throat hurt so much. Spencer stirred next to you, sitting up when he saw you moved. He wordlessly hands you a cup of water, which you take graciously. 

“How do you feel?” Spencer asks. 

“Head hurts.” You groan. 

“Yea, a concussion will do that.” He chuckles. 

You look him in the eyes. “The baby?” 

“Is completely fine.” Spencer finishes. “But about that…” 

“What happened?” 

“I’d like to preface this with it’s not my fault.” Spencer explains. “But when the doctor was telling me what happened, he let it slip that the baby was fine… in front of Morgan and Garcia.” 

You wince. “How pissed are they?” 

“They’re more excited than anything but… She is a little mad that we didn’t tell her especially since she knew we were trying.” 

You nod. “I’ll get her a gift this weekend, she’ll get over it. But that means we’re going to have to tell everyone huh?” 

“I made them agree to keep it under wraps until you were ready. It’s your decision.” 

You nod. “I’ll go to Hotch as soon as I’m out of here.” You say. 

“Y/N, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to--” 

“No, you were right. I can’t keep putting the baby at risk because I’m scared. It’s better to just tell him as soon as possible and deal with the repercussions later.” You say. “You don’t have to, but will you come with me? I won’t tell anyone it’s yours if you don’t want me to.” 

Spencer looks at you incredulously. “What? Y/N, I was not going to make you do this alone. We’re a team now. If we tell them, we do it together.” He says, grabbing your hand. 

“Thanks, Spencer.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

--------------------------------------------------------------

You never liked being in Hotch’s office which is why you tried to avoid it all cost. Spencer’s leg bounced nervously as the two of you waited for Hotch to finish his phone call. You tapped his leg to get his attention. Once granted, you gave him a look that read Are you okay or do I need to do this alone? Spencer shakes his head no at you and you lean back. Eventually, Hotch hangs up the phone and levels a look at the two of you. 

“What did the two of you need to meet with me about?” He asks. “If this is another coffee dispute, I don’t want to be involved--” 

“He knew that was my mug but that’s now what we’re here for.” You say. “We’re here because I need to fill out a leave form.” 

Hotch looks at you seemingly more confused than he was before but nods anyway. “What leave form do you need?” 

“Um, maternity.” Hotch’s eyes snap back up at you, widely drifting from you and Spencer. You knew you didn’t have to say it, Hotch was a talented Profiler and has been one for years. “I’m about 3 months now, so I’ll need it around November for 3 months and Spencer will need 1 month of Paternity leave--” 

“Ok, let's back up for a second so I can make sure I’m clear on what’s happening here.” Hotch says, holding up his hands. “You’re pregnant?” 

“Yes.” You say. 

“And Spencer is--” 

“The father, yes.”  

“And you guys are…?” He trails off. 

“Co-Parents.” You say at the same time as Spencer says “Friends.” 

Hotch sighs, pinching his brow together. “Is your previous relationship going to affect how you work together now?” 

You and Spencer look at each other in confusion for a second before realizing exactly what Hotch was saying to you. “Sir, I understand your confusion but there is no previous relationship to worry about. Me and Spencer have never been in any kind of relationship. We just mutually wanted a kid.” You say. 

“It won’t affect our work, sir.” Spencer adds. 

“Well, except for the obvious way.” You say, pointing at your belly. 

Hotch sighs again, before wordlessly handing the both of you a form. “I suggest the two of you find a better way to tell the team than you did me.” 

You and Spencer wince at that before getting up, mumbling ‘yes, sir’. When you’re almost out the door, you hear Hotch call. “Y/N?” 

You turn back, raising an eyebrow. “Yes?” 

“Congratulations.” He says. 

You can’t help the smile that crosses your face. “Thank you, sir.”  

-------------------------------------------------

The two of you decide to wait two more weeks before telling everyone, wanting to find out the gender first. You find out that you’re having a girl and Spencer holds you while crying while the doctor shows you your baby on the Ultrasound screen. 

Your baby. 

The very real human that you and Spencer created was in fact, real and you could see her. 

“Thank you.” He whispers to you, when the two of you leave the office, pictures of your beautiful daughter in hand. “I just never thought I’d get this experience.” 

It’s enough to make the waterworks start again. 

Later, you go into work, lunch for you in Penelope in hand. When you sit the sandwich from her favorite shop in front of her, she says nothing. 

“Aw, come on Pen. You can’t still be mad at me.” 

“Yes, I can be.” She pouts. 

“Look, I’m sorry I kept it from you but I didn’t want to tell anyone until I was sure I was having a healthy baby.” You say, Pen looks a little guilty but still keeps her back towards you. Alright, you think, time to pull out the big guns. “Would you still be mad at me if I let you be first to see the pictures of your goddaughter?” 

That makes Penelope turn towards you with a wide eyed expression. “Goddaughter? As in--” 

“We’re  having a girl.” You say. “And we want you to be the godmother. But only if you want to.” You add. 

Penelope smiles wide before wrapping you in a tight hug. “Of course, I will be! Are you kidding? If something happens to you, someone’s gotta make sure this kid gets into Harvard.” 

You laugh. “Make it UPenn and you’ve got a deal.” 

“You bet! Now, I was promised pictures…?” You smile and hand them over. Penelope coos as she goes through the photos. “Oh, she looks just like you.” 

“Well, she’s a blob right now, so I hope not.”   

Later, you guys get a case, 4 men murdered in New Haven, and you and Penny present the case together. After Hotch calls wheels up, you clear your throat. 

“Actually, if you guys don’t mind waiting for a second, I have something to say.” You say, addressing the larger group. “Some of you already know this but since I’m probably going to start showing more by the time you get back I figure it’s better to tell you now. I’m pregnant, well me and Spencer are. It’s a girl, and she’s due around November.” 

“Woah, are you joking?” Emily says, sitting up fully now. “You and Spencer are having a kid?” You nod and she jumps up to hug you. Which starts a cacophony of hugs and claps on the back in congrats for the both of you from the rest of the team. 

“And you told me there was nothing going on between you and boy wonder.” Emily smirks, when she pulls back from your hug. 

“Believe me when I tell you, she is the only thing happening between me and Spencer. Nothing else.” 

She laughs. “If you say so, kid. But I see the way he looks at you.” She says. You can’t help but to look at Spencer in that moment who is smiling at the congratulations being given to him too. You can’t help but also smile at his warmth. He must feel your eyes on him because he looks up and smiles brightly back at you. Soon, Hotch is congratulating you guys again but directing the team to start getting ready as the Jet will be leaving soon. Spencer walks up to you in that moment. 

“Are you going to be okay while I’m gone?” Spencer asks. 

“Am I ever not?” You counter. Spencer laughs. 

“Call me if anything happens, ok?” 

It was in that moment that you realized just how much of a staple Spencer had become in your life. The idea of him being gone on a case for so long was… actually upsetting you and before you could stop yourself you ask. 

“Can I call you if nothing happens?” You say, instantly regretting how desperate the sentence made you sound. Spencer looks at you confused for a second. “You know what? Nevermind, have fun. Or as fun as murder investigations can get--” 

“Y/N.” He cuts you off, you look up at him and he has a marshmallow soft expression on those honey colored eyes that made you almost melt on the spot. “You can call me whenever you need me. Seriously, ok?” 

You nod at the man. “Ok.” 

--------------------------------------------------------

The team comes back two weeks later when you’re officially in maternity clothes. Which were a lot more comfortable. The only thing you had to worry about was occasionally swatting Penelope’s hand away from your belly. It’s not too long after their return that Penelope is suggesting you guys have a girls night, which you agree to whole-heartedly. You couldn’t drink but you needed to get out the house, you were practically going stir crazy. 

“Alright 3 tequila shots for the grown ups and a mocktail for mama.” Garcia says handing out the drinks, which you gratefully take mumbling a thank you. 

“God, I can’t believe you and Spencer are having a kid.” Emily adds after the group takes their shots. 

“Neither can I sometimes, but I am excited.” You smile. 

“Yea, it’s kind of… shocking.” JJ adds. Your eyes narrow slightly at her tone, something was off but you decided it wasn’t worth mentioning. “I just wished you guys had talked more about it before going through with it.” She shrugs. 

Ok, now you were really confused. “Well, Spencer and I actually talked about it for a long while before actually deciding to get pregnant.” 

“I’m sure you did, I’m just saying I wish you had talked about it more with us.” She adds. 

Your mother used to always tell you no matter how hard you tried growing up, you could never fully hide when you were pissed. Which is probably why Penelope and Emily got weird looks on their face when you said. “Well JJ, I’ll be honest. When I decided I wanted to have a kid with Spencer. I didn’t think discussion needed to be had with anyone other than me and Spencer and on occasion, my doctor because we’re both adults capable of making very adult decisions.” You say, sipping your drink. “What’s your deal with Spencer anyway?” 

She brushes that off. “I just don’t think he’s ready.” 

“Well, I do because he’s an adult who thinks for himself and he told me he was ready. What, do you not think Spencer will be a good dad?” 

She shakes her head. “I know Spencer will be a great dad.” 

“So, you think I’m going to be a bad mother?” You say. JJ says nothing. “Cool, JJ, really cool.” You say, standing up and grabbing your bag. 

“Oh come on, Y/N. I didn’t say that!” She calls. 

“You didn’t have to. Thanks for inviting me, Penny.” You say, clutching your bag and holding the tears that threatened to leave. “I’ll see you guys at work.” 

Leaving the bar, you realize that you were very upset and probably shouldn’t be alone so before you can stop yourself you call him. 

Spencer answers on the second ring. “Hey, what’s wrong? I thought it was girls night.” 

“Can I come over?” You blurt. 

“Here?” Spencer asks. “Yea.” 

“Great.” You say, hanging up. 

The short ride to Spencer’s is filled with the soft sounds of Stevie Nicks playing through your speakers. When you get to the apartment building you bound up the stairs before knocking on the familiar door. You loved Spencer’s work clothes fine enough but if you had to pick a favorite Spencer’s lounge clothes were definitely in the top ten. The man stood in front of you in a pair of gray sweats and graphic t-shirt from a horror movie festival that he had told you he went to every year when you guys were talking about traditions you’d want to carry over to your child. And how he wanted for you guys to go as a family once she was a proper horror movie watching age. He wordlessly steps to the side to let you in the apartment. 

“Hey, what’s up? You never want to come here.” Spencer says, as you settle on his couch. 

“Did I pressure you into this?” You blurt. Spencer looks at you confused. 

“What?” 

“I mean, do you actually want this as much as I do or did I pressure you into this.” 

“What? Of course, I want this. Have I given you any indication that I don’t?” 

“No!” 

“Then, what’s up?” 

“I don’t know. I just, I really wanted our baby and if you weren’t ready then I should’ve thought about it more, asked more but even if you didn’t want it now it’s too late and JJ got in my head and--” 

“Hold on, JJ?” 

“We got into a slight argument at girls night.” You say. 

“And what did she say to you?” 

“That she wishes we talked about it more with them before just having a baby and that she also doesn’t think you’re ready. And she kind of implied I’m going to be a bad mom.” You say, furiously wiping your face as the tears fell from your eyes against your will. “I’m going to be a bad mom.” You repeat. 

Spencer is immediately kneeling in front of you, large hands cradling your face as his thumbs gently wiped the tears from your eyes. “Hey, hey. First, you didn’t pressure me into this. In fact, you gave me time and space to come to my own conclusion and I decided on my own that I wanted to have a child with you. And I came to that conclusion because I know for a fact that you are going to be a great mom. Because I know that there is no one who is going to love this child as much as I will than you. And I know that I am 100% by your side and ready for this, ok? I didn’t ask for a second opinion because I didn’t need one. I knew that I wanted this and that I wanted it with you.” He says, you nod. “Do you need me to talk to her?” 

“No, I have a feeling that’ll only make things worse.” 

“She upset you.” Spencer points out. 

She did but you didn’t want the unnecessary drama that would come with Spencer confronting JJ for you. So you brush it off. “Yesterday, I cried over burnt toast. It’s the hormones.” You say. 

Spencer nods, taking the seat next to you on the couch. “Will watching Mulan make you feel better?” 

“Do you even have to ask that?” 

You’re about halfway through the movie when the thought comes to you. 

“Your lease is up here in two months, right?” You say, turning your attention away from the army singing about their dream girls to the man whose shoulder you had drifted on at some point of the film. 

“Yea.” Spencer nods. 

“Move in with me.” You say. Spencer looks at you for a second like you’ve grown a second head. “I mean, It’s practical, right? I have a house, a room already set up for her, an office I can turn into an extra room for you. It’d be really helpful during the first couple of months. Plus, we wouldn’t have to worry about child-proofing this absolute fire hazard.” You say, gesturing to the books all around you. “And if you decide you don’t want to live there we can find you a new place.” You shrug. 

“You’re serious?” Spencer asks. “You want me around that much?” 

“As a heart attack, I always want you around, Spencer.” You say, before you can stop yourself, look at him with a soft expression.  

“It is practical.” Spencer notes. 

“So, that’s a yes?” You ask. 

“It’s not a no.” Spencer smiles down at you before turning back to the screen. 

  Taglist: @moonshinerbynight​ @crimeshowtrash​ @no-honey-no​ @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel​ @chenlemure​ @sizzlingclamturtlesludge​ @tclaerh​ @k-k0129​ @takeyourleap-of-faith​ @trashyhipsterfangirl @haylaansmi​ @spencerreidlivesrentfreeinmyhead​ @waspyyy​ @itsametaphorbriansblog​ @octaviaxanadu​ @whxt-to-write​ @meowiemari​ @b99andsoc​ @boba-king-iroh​ @punkndisorderrly​ @richardrosejpeg​ @underratedmisfit​ @gredvb​ @criminalminds4days​ @fanfictionislifetho​ @justpeachykeeeen​ @kopfkinomind @moonchildkei @appleblossoms-posts​ @urguardiandevil​ @cm-imagines-07​ @ajeff855 @reidsconverse​ @isknowplaces @ashwarren32​

@cielo1984​ @rainsong01​ @dracoxmgg​ @m0rce1ddd​ @daviddobrikandyn @mcntsee​ @debiwolf-t​ @jellokangaroo​ @honeyboysteezy​ @sadassflatass​ @itsametaphorbriansblog​ @itsdars​ @themanwiththreephds​ @amidafternoonthoughts​  @poisondragon​ @ncsls0515​ @spencerhotchner​ @myescapefromthislife​ @kasaikawa​ @fakin-it-til-i-make-it​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @rosesonmyheart​ @wickedscorpio22 @little-blue-fishie​ @itsdars​

[merakiaes]

In The Heat Of The Moment - Aaron Hotchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Requested: By @forgottenword​

Prompts: #3 from the common trope-list. 

Warnings/notes: Unprotected sex. Wrap it before you tap it, kids. I’m extremely bad at writing smut so I apologize in advance for the shitty quality😩 I want to stress that my smut requests are CLOSED, this was an only exception because I liked the concept, so please don’t send in smut requests because hey will be deleted. This turned out a lot longer than I planned but oh well. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Thank you <3 NOT PROOFREAD

Wordcount: 7175

Summary: When having a fever and being caught in the rain, you’re bound to be freezing and in need of heat. And what better way to get warmed up than by sharing a bed with your boss? 

You and Aaron Hotchner had never gotten along as well as co-workers should in your line of work. You were great agents, great people, when you were separated. But when you were together… Well, let’s just say that it was never a pretty sight.

You had joined the BAU around the same time and despite only being beginners back then, you were both great at what you did. But putting you together on your first job was everything but a match made in heaven.

You were a bit younger than him and you were used to being criticized by men your entire life, so when working with Hotch turned out to be no different, you became competitive and determined to show your worth to him and your fellow agents.

You could easily just shoot your enemy if you ever felt threatened in the field, but when it came to Hotch, your co-worker, your only line of defense was your quick-witted sarcasm.

In Hotch’s eyes, you behaved like a child from the start and he wanted nothing more than to just have you transferred, but the longer you worked together, the more used to it he got.

He still didn’t like it though, not one bit, but it was bearable back when you’d had Gideon to step in and calmly settle your differences whenever those popped up. Which, let’s be honest, was often.

But now he was gone and Hotch had stepped up to take the leading position, and even though you hadn’t been interested in that position, yourself, you hated that he now had the higher ground and the perfect shot to make your life a living hell just like you had, knowingly, made his.

If you wanted to go to the crime scene, he sent you to question potential witnesses. If you wanted to question potential witnesses, he sent you to the crime scene. If you specifically asked to do something, he made you do the exact opposite and if you specifically asked not to do something, that’s exactly what he forced you to do. And now that he was your superior rather than your equal, you were in no place to argue, no matter how much you wanted to.

You wouldn’t go as far as to say you hated each other; you respected him and he respected you, but you just couldn’t stand each other and the way the two of you always seemed to criticize the other’s capability of getting the job done.

He always underestimated you and condescendingly shook his head at your every move, and you just couldn’t help but run your mouth about how he did everything wrong when you were with him.

It could be amusing to see you bicker, to say the least, but eventually, the team was starting to get tired of the way your disagreements and inability to work together was constantly threatening to ruin the case, so they were more than relieved when, finally, the two of you were beginning to settle down.

When Haley filed for a divorce, you were the only one on the team who didn’t change your entire persona. While the others walked on eggshells around him, always afraid to say the wrong thing and make him snap, you remained your usual big-mouthed, snarky self, never letting him catch a break.

Up until then, you had never been anything other than a major pain in his ass, but under these circumstances, the fact that you didn’t go out of your way to feel sorry for him provided a kind of security for him.

You approached him about it once after a case on which he had shown himself more agitated and reckless than usual, telling him that he could talk to you if he wanted to, but after that, you just left him alone to deal with everything the way he wanted to.

Knowing he had the support but also being given the choice to choose on his own rather than having the support forced upon him was just what he needed and in your own, dysfunctional way, you grew closer because of it.

He started to willingly take you along during cases while he sent the others to deal with other aspects, as opposed to the past where the last thing he wanted was to be stuck with just you, knowing you’d find some way to go against his wishes just to spite him.

He’d always known that you were a great person and an even greater agent and profiler, even though he would never admit it out loud, but it was only after his divorce that he really came to see you in a different light.

However, despite his newfound fondness of you, there were still rules to be followed; ones he, as a leader, could not look past if broken.

One of the most important rules were that you couldn’t get attached or emotionally involved in a case. Being able to remain objective was of the utmost importance in order to not risk jeopardizing the entire investigation and this specifically, you’d never had a problem with.

You felt for the families and victims of course, but you knew that in order to do your job, you had to close yourself off to the grief they were feeling. Struggling with this was more common for the others on the team, but you did alright.

But then there was the rule that emphasized the importance of staying at home or at least in the office if you ever happened to get sick, and the most important rule, at least for you, not to lie or go against your boss’s orders. And you had broken both of them.

It had started out with a light cough and a runny nose; nothing too alarming seeing as it could easily pass for allergies, which just so happened to be the excuse you used when confronted about it.

Eventually the cough disappeared and your nose dried up, leading you to believe that the excuse you had been telling everyone for three days straight could actually be the truth, but then came the fever, out of nowhere in the middle of the night.

You laid awake trembling and sweating through your sheets both at the same time, and yet, you pulled your ass out of bed the next morning and got to work, completely ignoring the fact that you were obviously not well.

And as was only natural, the light fever got worse and brought several other complications with it as you kept pushing yourself in the field. You became short of breath easier and your ears started hurting, bringing back the terrible memories from your childhood back when you’d get the worst ear infections on a frequent basis for years.

But you’d just been invited into a new case, one that took longer than they usually did and one that you just so happened to get attached to, against your better judgement. You kept getting sicker and you tried your hardest to hide it, because you just couldn’t leave your team in those desperate times.

You were also, as you always had been, too stubborn to admit the fact that you needed help and rest, and so you sucked it up and pretended that you were fine, something that seemed to go unnoticed as the others were just as caught up in the job and determined to get to the bottom of the case as you were.

And you did, get to the bottom of it, as you always did. You solved the case, identified and tracked down the unsub and went in for the arrest.

Hotch and Prentiss went around the back and you and Reid went in through the house while Morgan and Rossi stood by the police cars, waiting for Hotch’s orders to come in.

You and Reid were the ones to find the man first, catching him off-guard and holding him at gunpoint until Hotch and Prentiss appeared from the back and handcuffed him.

You were able to complete the arrest and save the hostage before anything could happen to her, and luckily, the state you were in hadn’t affected the case nor your ability to work.

But once everything was safe, you subconsciously let down the façade you had been putting on for the past few days and as you walked out of the house, a sudden wave of dizziness hit you and sent you falling to the ground before you had even reached the cars.

Morgan, having had his eyes on you when you walked out, was the first one to witness it and rushed to your side, alerting your fellow team members. By then, you were knocked out cold from the exhaustion and as the medics at the scene rushed up, they noted aloud that you had a very high fever and had to get to the hospital.

You were rushed there in the ambulance that had originally been for the hostage should she have needed to be treated, and as you laid unconscious, Hotch sat by your side, glaring at you despite the fact that you couldn’t even see it.

Luckily, your carelessness hadn’t come in the way of the case as you hadn’t hit rock bottom until it was all over, but in a worst case scenario it could’ve affected your ability to properly do your job which was exactly why the rules said you couldn’t work when sick.

But despite the fact that everything had worked out, you had gone against the rules by hiding your sickness and working despite it, which was the sole reason of your sudden collapse and also the reason that Hotch was now forced to drive all the way back to Quantico as the doctor hadn’t cleared you for flying with your ear infection, and it was safe to say that he was not happy about it.

“You put the entire team in danger today.” He spoke for the first time since you had sat down in the car, in which you had been seated for the past forty minutes.

Forty, painfully slow minutes of thick and tense silence, both of you just waiting in dread for the argument that was sure to come.

But even then, now that the silence had been broken, you didn’t feel any better.

“I know.” You replied simply from where you sat beside him in the passenger seat.

You stared out the window lazily, slumped in your seat and breathing slowly, each breath fogging up the glass and dimming the view of the darkening sky outside.

Your ears picked up on the sound of crunching leather, no doubt being caused by Hotch’s grip tightening on the steering wheel. “Is that all you have to say?” He asked bitterly. Annoyance was radiating off of him and the tone in his voice only made its existence more evident.

An unintentional sigh of exhaustion left your lips and for the first time, you dared to turn your head to look at him. “What do you want me to do?” You asked. “I made a mistake and I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it.” He wasted no time in answering, not even bothering to look at you, and this time you could see with your own eyes how his grip on the wheel hardened, his knuckles turning white.

You turned your attention back to the window and let out another long breath through your nose, but Hotch was nowhere near finished.

“What if your fever had caused you to black out in the middle of the arrest? You could’ve been ambushed from behind, too weak to fight back, and died. Reid would’ve been on his own, without backup, and could’ve died.”

Once again you turned your head to look at him, your face wiped free of emotion as you stared into his side profile.

“It’s of the utmost importance that we’re always on top of our game. We can not afford to take chances like these. You can’t-“ He sighed, sparing you the briefest of glances. “You can’t lie to me, to us, about the state of your health. By doing so, not only are you endangering yourself, but you’re endangering us all. The team, and the hostages. I won’t be able to look past this, my hands will be tied of it comes down to an evaluation.”

He wanted you to feel guilty and you understood, because you knew that you had been stupid and reckless and that you had behaved inappropriately and done what you just couldn’t do in this line of work. But no matter how deep and thick the guilt settled in the pit of your stomach, you knew his threats of ‘not being able to look past it’ were empty.

After all, he had done the exact same thing on more than one occasion since the divorce; gotten so indulged in the case at hand that he had recklessly and inappropriately broken protocol, because of which he had taken a lot of heat lately.

But still, the string you were still holding on to, the string of getting to keep your job, was short and weak, and the only thing keeping you quiet, something Hotch was taking full advantage of.

He kept scolding you for at least five more minutes, but you weren’t listening to any of it, too distracted by the painful pressure in your ears and completely out of it, barely even able to hang on to reality in your disoriented and feverish state.

The heat in the car was cranked up to the max, and yet you were shivering in your seat, shrinking back into your thin sweater as far as you could in a desperate attempt to preserve your bodily heat.

But no matter how hot your skin was to the touch, you were freezing, and it wasn’t until the weather outside took a complete three-sixty turn, forcing Hotch to put his disapproving scolding on hold in order to concentrate on not driving you into a ditch in the blinding rain, that he took the time to take note of your state.

In any other case you would’ve been all too aware of his eyes on you, but right now, you could barely even stay awake.

The pain in your ears was for the most part gone for the moment, but the fever only seemed to have gotten worse, and it showed in more ways than one. And it was in the way you had barely said a word to him, which was a near never-occurring thing, that Hotch realized that you really weren’t well.

An unsure silence fell as a blanket over the car for a moment as his eyes kept flickering back and forth between the road and you, where you were barely able to keep your own eyes open.

“Are you alright?” He finally questioned and he waited for a long moment for you to answer, and when he got none, he cautiously moved his hand out to touch your knee. “(Y/N).”

Your eyes shot open and your head whipped around to face him at the sound of your name and the feeling of his hand on your leg. “Hm?” You asked in an absent manner, instantly regretting your hasty movements when your head started throbbing.

“Are you alright?” He repeated, eyebrows creasing in worry when you raised your hand to your forehead and closed your eyes.

You took a steady breath, trying to calm your spinning head, before carefully shaking it. “No.”

“Are you ears hurting?”

“My head.” You took another breath, squeezing your eyes shut at the painful jabbing at the side of your head, feeling them sting like they would when you’d spent hours upon hours crying.

Hotch watched from the side as you rubbed your forehead and temples, taking note of how hard you were squeezing your eyes shut and how badly you were shivering. Slowly but surely, he felt the anger he had previously been feeling melting off.

He said nothing else, giving your sullen face a last glance before turning his attention back to the road in front of him. But his hand didn’t move, remaining at your knee where his thumb rubbed soft, absentminded circles as an attempt to offer you some comfort.

For a second it made your heart flutter like never before, but soon enough, you’d forgotten all about it, only being able to focus on how incredibly shitty you were feeling. Not only physically, but mentally too, because Hotch had been right about everything he had said.

You were sweating like crazy, feeling trapped in the car where you couldn’t escape your thoughts and the guilt that was getting bigger by the minute, and you wanted nothing more than to get out and breathe some fresh air.

So when Hotch stopped at a gas station to fill up the tank and get some water and painkillers for your head, you did just that, not even being able to process the fact that the rain was still pouring down until it was too late.

You stood with your back leaned against the car, hugging yourself tightly and shivering even more than before as your clothes were now soaked, but the crisp air felt nice and was a blessing for your aching head.

Hotch came out of the gas station three minutes later and spotted you immediately, wasting no time in breaking into a run in your direction.

“What are you doing?! You’re already sick!” He yelled over the sound of rain harshly colliding into the exterior of the car.

You didn’t have the energy to fight back, simply continuing to rub your forehead. “I’m sorry, it was so stuffed in there, I needed to get out.” You mumbled silently, and he sighed, walking around you to open your car door.

“Get back in the car.” He ordered, and you did as told, allowing him to help you inside and waiting for him to close the door behind you before leaning against it.

He quickly got in in the driver’s seat and wasted no time in starting the car and cranking the heat up the little way further that was possible, throwing the bottle of water and packet of painkillers into the backseat.

“You’re shaking, we need to get you dry and warm.” He said as he fuzzed over you, silently urging you to take off your outer layer and helping you do so.

He drove out of the gas station once you were properly situated again, holding your hands in his in an attempt to warm them up.

You drove for a while longer and soon enough, Hotch took a right and parked the car. But you were half asleep and completely out of it, barely even able to process that he’d left you until the door you were leaning against opened, causing you to fall right into his chest and forcing you awake.

“Here, take this.” He wasted no time in draping you in a thick, scratchy blanket that you’d never seen before.

Nevertheless, you didn’t protest, getting out of the car and staying glued to his side as he walked you in the direction of the hotel you were now apparently parked in front of.

Once you reached the door to the room you guessed he’d fixed you for the night, he unlocked the door, ushered you inside and locked the door behind you.

Out of pure instinct, your hand moved to the light switch right next to the front door, only to discover that the power was out.

You were still dizzy, your skin burning hot but freezing to your core, but you were awake now, and all you wanted was a hot shower, so your second instinct was to head into the bathroom to test the water, and just your luck, the hot water was gone, as well.

Shivering, you turned back to face the entirety of the room, the only light in sight being the light of the moon streaming in through the windows and Hotch’s phone as he used it to find his way around.

“There’s no hot water.” You deadpanned, hugging yourself close and standing still in the middle of the room.

“The power is out and there’s a flood down the road, the woman at the counter said it could take a while for it to return so we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got in the meanwhile and get you out of your wet clothes.” Hotch wasted no time in replying as he busied himself with un-making one of the two beds.

He didn’t even spare you as much as a glance but you watched him for a moment longer, taking in his hurried movements as he ripped the blankets of the bed you presumed would be his, instead placing them on the bed with your name on it.

You knew he could feel your eyes on him, but when he didn’t turn around, you let out a breath through your nose and uncrossed your arms from over your chest, instead beginning to undress yourself.

And let me tell you, that’s not an easy task when you’re shivering like a chihuahua and have an a hundred and three degree fever and the current strength of an infant.

Your arms were heavy, almost too heavy to lift, and your fingers trembled when you began working on the buttons of your shirt. You tried your hardest to see what you were doing but the lack of light in the room made it hard, and the more you strained your eyes, the more intense your headache and dizziness got.

By now, Hotch had finished setting up your bed and turned around to see you struggling, taking a few small steps in your direction.

“Do you need help?” He asked, and you dropped your hands to your sides.

“Yeah.”

He walked up to you and wasted no time in getting to work on your buttons. You watched his face the entire time, even in your feverish daze being able to pick up on how hard he was trying to focus his eyes on his fingers in a respectful manner.

Once the last button came undone, you turned around and allowed him to pull the article of clothing off your body, the snug fabric releasing a creaking sound as it was pulled off your wet skin.

Hotch wordlessly walked over to the desk placed in the room and hung the shirt over the back of a chair, while you went to work on your pants.

Luckily, this piece of clothing only had one button and you managed to get it undone without too much trouble, sitting down on your bed and pulling them off – this part taking a bit more struggle seeing as they were stuck to your skin just like the shirt had been.

But you managed and wasted no time in crawling under the multitude of blankets that Hotch had neatly piled up on the bed, tucking yourself in as tightly as possible and pulling them up to your nose in an attempt to fill the inside of the cocoon with warm air.

It worked to an extent, your skin quickly regaining its previous heat and feeling so hot to the touch that one could’ve easily thought that you were on the verge of burning up.

But it did nothing to warm your core, and no matter how hard you tried keeping the shivers at bay by relaxing your body and keeping your breaths steady, it was to no use.

You laid there in silence for a good moment, becoming unaware of your surroundings once again, including the pair of eyes burning into the side of your face from across the room.

Hotch watched you closely while he followed his own advice and discarded his wet shirt, unbuckling his belt, hanging it on a chair and kicking off his shoes and socks.

Dressed now only in his damp slacks, he moved to grab the bottle of water and painkillers that he’d gotten from the gas station, and continued to the side of your bed, where he crouched down in front of you.

“Take this.” He instructed and you opened your eyes, pushing yourself up with all your might so that you could take the outstretched items from his hand.

You swallowed the pill with two gulps of water and fell right back into bed once he had taken the bottle back, pulling the blankets up to your nose again.

He stood back up to his full height and as a strong shiver went down your spine, the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

“I need more heat, this isn’t enough. You’ll have to lay with me.”

Hotch’s face pulled into one of mild surprise at the sound of your unexpected words, and he instantly started protesting. “I don’t think-“

But you interrupted, staring up at him with those angry eyes that he so often found himself at the receiving end of. “I’m freezing my ass off and you’re cold, too. I’m not about to let you sleep without blankets. It’s just until the power and hot water comes back.”

He stared back at you, face ever so stoic. “Fine.” He gave in, and only then did you soften your glare.

You closed your eyes as he began removing his pants, slowly scooting back on the bed to make room for him, and you couldn’t help but let out a breath of relief when he lifted the covers and slid in next to you.

Your skin was hot with fever but somehow, his was even hotter, burning you to the touch.

You were still freezing, but as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, you instantly found it easier to relax, your shivering toning down a great deal.

Out of pure instinct, you snuggled further into his chest and you could feel on the stiffness of his body that he was uncomfortable and unsure of how to react in the situation you’d so inconveniently found yourself in.

Opening your eyes as far as your heavy eyelids would let you, you found him to be staring up into the roof. But the second he felt your heavy gaze on him, he turned his head to the side to meet your eyes.

Heat flushed through your entire body and you had been aroused enough times to recognize the feeling.

You knew all of this had started off innocent, a person simply trying to warm up another person as an act of kindness and basic human decency, and you never would’ve had these impure thoughts about him in any other situation, but your body was reacting on its own to the feeling of his skin against yours, and so was his.

Your faces were close to each other, mere inches apart, and before you were able to stop yourself, you leaned in closer and brushed your lips against his.

He retaliated immediately, pulling back and looking down at you with an unreadable expression written all over his face.

He told himself that the fever was making you confused and disoriented, but when you moved back in for a second attempt, this time with a lot more clarity in your eyes and confidence in your movements, he didn’t pull back.

You remained still for the entirety of the kiss, your lips just pressed against each other’s with little to no extended movements. When you came apart again, your breaths were heavy but the sound of your heart beating loudly in your ears was the only thing you could hear.

You stared into each other’s eyes and your eyes momentarily fluttered shut when he brought his hand up and grazed your lower lip with his thumb.

And then his lips were on yours again, and this time you just kept going.

His hands cradled your face and you laid down flat on your back, wrapping your arms around his neck and opening your legs to allow him to move on top of you. You pulled him impossibly close, a surge of sudden energy bursting through your entire body.

He was a gentleman at heart but he didn’t bother asking you if you were sure, knowing better than anyone that you were more than capable of telling him if you weren’t. You were both adults, you knew exactly what you were doing.

You’d had your fair share of rendezvouses throughout your life, but none had left you feeling like this.

Passion, desperation, fervor, urgency, impatience, hunger, eagerness, and every single other synonym that could be used to describe the lustful attraction between two people were currently battling in your body.

But more present than any other feeling was the anger; anger directed at you, fueled by the way you had put yourself and your entire team at risk by lying about the state of your health, and anger directed at him, fueled by the way he had always underestimated you and doubted your abilities.

You were both furious in all ways possible and neither of you had any plans on stopping, his hands already making their way down your body and heading straight for the direction of the place where you needed him the most.

His hands were warm but yours were cold, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake as they traveled his arms, chest, shoulders and neck.

One of your hands stayed at his neck, tracing light touches over his throat and jaw, while the other one moved down the length of your own body to meet with his where it was hovering above the line of your underwear.

You grabbed a hold of it and pushed his palm flat against the bottom of your stomach, urging him to continue, and he didn’t waste a second, dipping his hand inside the waistband of the thin fabric that was still wet from the rain and resting uncomfortably against your skin.

Breath getting caught in your throat and heart palpitating in your chest, you pushed your head back into the pillow, your eyes falling shut at the pleasurable feeling of his fingers finding your core, your lips coming apart in the process.

Instead, his face bent down and nuzzled the crook of your neck, lips leaving slow kisses behind as he adjusted his hand.

It obviously wasn’t going as smoothly as he’d like though, the wet fabric getting caught on his skin and causing a frustrated sound to escape his throat.

“These need to go.” He mumbled into the skin of your shoulder and you eagerly nodded, completely ignoring the headache that was still going strong.

You raised your hips to allow him access, and he wasted no time in pushing the underwear off your legs, leaving you to shake them off your feet.

They got lost somewhere underneath the numerous blankets but you couldn’t care less, your hands hurrying down to the waistband of his boxers.

He drew in a breath at the feeling of your icy cold fingers, but made no move to stop you, helping you in ridding himself of the only remaining clothing he had on and then moving on to unclasp your bra, carelessly throwing it onto the floor and latching his lips back onto yours.

His hand returned to your heat and just like he had done mere seconds before, you sucked in a sharp breath as his fingers dipped in, running a line up your folds before pushing their way inside.

He hooked his finger down into your entrance to gather some of your wetness, bringing it up all the way along your slit and stopping only when he reached the sensitive bundle of nerves that was just throbbing with need.

That’s when the first moan of many to come left your lips, being muffled into the kiss and your stomach exploding with butterflies.

But just like with any other aspect of your life, you were impatient, so when he pushed a finger inside of you, you broke free of the kiss and shook your head, reaching your hand down to stop him by his wrist.

“No, you’re going too slow.” You panted, pulling his hand away and looking into his darkened eyes. “I need you, now.”

Your voice thinned into a whisper toward the end and you brought your hands back up to his face.

He remained still for a few seconds, just looking at you with his usual stoic expression and pursed lips, but the soon dipped down to meet your face again, brushing his lips against yours so lightly you could barely feel it, before pressing down with more force.

What started off as a close-mothed kiss quickly turned into an open-mouthed one, and you moved down on the mattress, raising your legs to wrap them around his waist as he positioned himself at your entrance.

He wasn’t fully erected yet, as was to be expected seeing as you had barely touched him and things had moved so quickly, but the second he was fully sheathed inside of you, that changed in an instant.

The feeling of being filled so perfectly caused your face to screw up in pleasure and he couldn’t help but let a small groan slip past his lips, really showing how long it had been since he last partook in sexual activities.

But he wasn’t the only one who had gone untouched for a long period of time. When you worked a job as stressful and time-consuming as yours, it was hard to find enough spare time to get out and meet any potential lovers, so it was safe to say that it had been just as long for you as it had for him and it didn’t take long for you to let out a moan to match his own.

He wasted no time in starting to move, encouraged to do so by the way your legs tightened around his hips to pull him in deeper.

You clung to him with all your might as he slowly but surely picked up his pace and found a good rhythm, squeezing your eyes shut and being reminded of the fever you still had when feeling the brims of your eyes sting.

Your hands moved to grasp at the back of his head and you pressed your lips against his, baiting a groan from his throat when tightening your grip on the strands of raven hair you held between your fingers.

His movements were confident and his lips moved skillfully from yours to your jaw, down to your neck before settling in the crook of your neck.

One of his hands moved from the mattress to hold on to the headboard of the bed and his toned arm flexing and unflexing right over your face was without a doubt the most attractive sight you’d ever seen.

“Hotch...” You moaned out between thrusts, and he grumbled in return.

“Aaron.” He corrected you darkly, and you drew in a gasp of air at the sound.

“Aaron-” You began repeating, but was quickly cut off by your own moan and after that, no more words were spoken.

The heavy breaths he released in the crook between your neck and shoulder only added to the already existing dampness on your skin, courtesy of the fever that you had almost forgotten was still there, and it was only now that the heat that had previously been restricted to the outer layer of your skin caught up with the rest of your body and made its way into your core.

The only sounds that could be heard was the heavy rain smattering on the metal ceiling outside your room, mixing in with the pants and low moans and groans escaping your lips, the creaking of the headboard that Hotch was holding on to for dear life, and the slapping of skin on skin.

He didn’t slow down once and not as much as a word was spoken, every emotion and feeling instead being voiced in sounds of pleasure and the occasional kiss when he brought his head up from your neck for air.

You got completely lost in the pleasure and you had no idea how long you went on for, but soon enough, you were beginning to get sore, the pleasure starting to switch into a mild discomfort.

But as if right on cue, the guttural groans muffling into your damp skin became more frequent, and before you knew it, Hotch’s entire body tensed up as he reached his climax and released inside of you.  

But you weren’t quite there yet, never having been able to orgasm just by penetration.

You didn’t know how he was able to do both at the same time, but as he rode out his high, Hotch brought his hand down from the headboard and in between your bodies at the same time, heading right for the throbbing bundle of nerves where he wasted no time in getting to work.

That was the final touch you needed for your stomach to begin to turn. The combination of the way he was hitting the perfect spot over and over again and his thumb showing no mercy was so intense that you reached your high in no time.

You pressed your face into his neck just like he was doing yours, your fingers tugging on his hair so harshly that you probably crossed the line between pleasurable and painful. But he didn’t make note on it, picking up his pace as a string of curses left your lips, blending with your moans and mixing with his name, something he was clearly liking the sound of.

And just as you toppled of the edge, bright flashes flashing on the inside of your eyelids as your entire stomach pulled into a tight knot, the lights in the ceiling of the room flashed as well, the radiator over by the window buzzing to life as the power returned.

Talk about timing.

He kept on pumping into you with sloppy, lazy thrusts as you rode out your high and as soon as he felt you relax around him again, his entire body slumped against yours in a moment of exhaustion.

You laid limp, chest rising and falling in quick pants as you caught your breath. His hand moved up to hold himself upright by the head of the bed and your hands remained at the back of his neck, fingers gently pulling through his hair that was now damp with sweat.

After a moment of silence, he moved off of you, allowing you to properly breathe.

“How’s your head?” He asked.

His voice was strained and it was clear that now that the arousal was gone and everything was over and done with, neither of you had any idea of how to act.

Pulling one of the blankets up to your shoulders and holding it in place over you previously exposed chest, you cleared your throat.

“All good.” You replied breathlessly and just then, reality came crashing back down, an involuntary shiver going down your spine and rocking your entire body as it became aware of the chilliness of the air around you.  

He caught on to this at once and turned his head to look at you with a deadpanned expression. “You’re still shivering, you should go take a warm shower before you go to sleep.”

His words brought a small snort from your lips. “I’m not shivering, I’m trembling. There’s a difference.” You answered, raising an eyebrow. “But I won’t say no to a shower.” You sighed, and as you wasted no time in beginning to get out of the bed, Hotch averted his eyes to the roof to give you some privacy.

The cold air hit you like a train when you removed the blankets from your body, your shivers becoming worse now with the layer of drying sweat on your skin.

It wasn’t until you stood up that the fever came crashing down on you with full force again, a spell of hot dizziness taking over you. You had to hold on to the wall beside the bed to regain your composure and once you did, you began walking, only then realizing how sore you really were.

As quickly as your quivering legs would take you, you walked into the bathroom and flicked on the light in the ceiling before heading straight for the shower.

As you turned on the faucet this time, you were pleased to discovered that the hot water had returned along with the power, and you closed your eyes in satisfaction even when the water had yet to touch any other part of your body than your fingers.

You remained standing there for a moment, holding yourself upright by the sink while waiting for the water to reach the perfect temperature.

You then brought your hand back to yourself and turned back around as you let the water run behind you.

Hotch was still in your bed, now having moved into a sitting position and absentmindedly fiddling with the watch on his wrist, seeming to be deep in thought.

And you were a profiler. You could tell with no struggle at all what was bothering him; guilt, most likely directed toward Haley as he had just been with another woman for the first time since the divorce.

The fact made you feel all kinds of feelings, and you slowly walked back to the doorway, on which you leaned as you continued watching him from a distance.

“I’m still really cold, you know.” You commented lamely, hoping that he’d take the hint on what you were trying to say.

His head slowly turned in your direction, his eyes tired and lips pulled into a straight line. His eyes wandered your still naked form for the briefest of second, but he quickly caught himself and averted them to yours.

“I thought you said you weren’t cold anymore.” He answered in a monotone voice, and you raised your eyebrows in return.

“Did I? I don’t think I did.” You played, absentmindedly tapping your fingers against the wooden doorframe.

He stared at you for a second, not seeming to care about you in the slightest anymore. But tthe way his lips then pulled into a small smile when looking at you showed you that he did, in fact, catch on to your intent.

And when he wordlessly got out of bed and started walking in your direction, leading you into the shower with a featherlight touch to the small of your back, you knew for a fact that the moment of passion you had just shared had been much more than just an act executed in the heat of the moment.

But if you thought that you were off the hook regarding your irresponsible behavior during the case just because you now happened to have your boss wrapped around your finger, you had another thing coming.

Tagged: @must-be-a-weasley-92​ @zizzlekwum​ @cozytruecrimeaddict​ @lovelynervouskingdom​ @rousethemouse​

(If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, send me a message, ask or leave a comment)

[moon-light-jukebox]

You’re not my type [Hotch x Reader]

Summary: Reader is the new press liaison to the elite Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. A stray comment from her leads to a lot of questions from her teammates, especially her unit chief, Aaron Hotchner. When they’re thrown together on a case that hits close to home for Reader, will that comment tear them apart? Or will it bring them closer together?

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner / (Female) Reader

Rating: Mature

Category: Angst then smut, with plenty of fluff sprinkled throughout.

Word Count: 8.4k

Content Warning: This gets pretty angst heavy in places. The team is chasing an Unsub that’s a serial r*pist/mu*derer. Mentions of an attempted a*sault to someone Reader cares about. Providing comfort to victims of the unsub. It’s dark in places, but if you can stick with me, I promise I will mend the angst and take you to the land of smut and fluff. Because there is plenty of smut.

A/n: Have you ever had a story that just grabbed hold of you and refused to let go? This story was supposed to be half this length and pure fluff. Reader and Hotch dug their claws into me and made me tell their own story. I’m not mad at it, and if you give it a chance, I hope you love it as much as I do. masterlist

y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. italicized text = reader’s thoughts

--“You’re not my type” --

The clock was moving so slowly, I couldn't help but think it was moving backward.

Come on, hurry up. I wanna go home.

I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that it was going to be 4:30 pm for the rest of my life. I still had some files to hand out to the team; I usually do that part of my very glamorous job in the mornings, but since I had nothing but time now, I thought why not.

I had been a “sort of” member of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit for 5 months. Jennifer- wait, JJ, had the job as media liaison before me; she was the last person to officially hold the position. When she left the unit chief of the BAU, Aaron Hotchner, and the technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, had split the roll. That is until Chief Strauss had decided that she wanted the BAU to run more efficiently. Meaning that Hotch got less paperwork, Garcia got a break from talking about mutilated bodies, and I got shuffled around from the public relations office.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed working with the team, I really did, but I couldn't help but feel excluded sometimes. They're all practically a family. I didn't really have any sort of family anymore, just a best friend that has always felt more like a sister.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I made my way towards the bullpen, shoving the doors open to see the team sitting on various desks talking to each other. Loudly.

“Shut UP, man!” Derek Morgan’s voice was loud, but amusement was clear on his face. Actually, everyone seemed sort of amused. Rossi and Hotch were leaning on the railing near their respective offices, watching the events unfold with smiles on their faces.

Hotch smiles? Huh. Weird.

I quickly tried to make my way around them, hoping none of them would notice me.

“Okay, I know how we can settle this. Y/n!” Shit. No such luck. I turned to look at Emily Prentiss, with her long dark hair and angular face. Why is everybody here so fucking pretty?

I cleared my throat, trying to compose my face. “Yes?”

“Answer something for us.” Everyone seemed very eager for me to be a part of this now, which I didn’t think was a good sign.

“I’ll do my best.”

She smiled at me like she was sensing her victory. "If Morgan asked you on a date, what would you say?"

Oh, they couldn’t have picked a worse person to play this game.

I chuckled awkwardly, trying to appear calm. “Um…I’d probably say no.” Morgan took a dramatically loud breath before slapping his hand to his chest. “No offense,” I quickly added.

Morgan wasn’t giving up his dramatics that easily. “Damn, girl! You’re gonna cut me down just like that?”

“I’m sorry,” I said with an awkward laugh. “You’re just not my type.”

Garcia’s eyebrows hit her hairline. “Excuse me? He’s not your type? Tall, dark, and extremely well-muscled isn’t your type?” She scoffed like I was insane; I mean, maybe I was. Jury’s out.  “What about that is unappealing to you?”

I couldn’t think of a believable lie, so I went with the truth. “The tall and extremely well-muscled part.” I shifted from foot to foot anxiously.

Emily blinked. “O-okay. Fair enough,” she laughed, looking at me like she’d never seen me before.

I was preparing to turn and make a very quick escape, but JJ had other plans. "Woah, woah, woah," the blonde hopped off the desk, walking a bit closer to me. "If Morgan isn't your type…who is?"

Fuck me running. “Um…” I trailed off. “I don’t think I really have a type, to be honest.”

"Do you like men," Morgan chimed in. "No judgment, little mama."

Not for the first time, I wished I was a lesbian. “I am sadly mostly heterosexual.” I was convinced no one could be completely heterosexual, it just didn’t seem natural.

Emily chuckled at that. “Okay then,” her hand moved up to adjust her dark bangs, something she did when she was thinking. “What if Hotch asked you out?”

“Okay, okay, don’t drag me into this,” the Unit Chef boomed out, much to Rossi’s amusement.

“…Um.” Why couldn’t I just die? “Sorry, boss, but no.”

Morgan crossed his arms over his chest. “Is Hotch also too tall and well-muscled.”

“Probably,” I answered without much thought. “I can’t comment on the state of his muscles. But he’s very…big. And he intimidates me.” I didn’t let my eyes stray to my boss; I simply couldn’t.

"Ah-ha. There it is!" Morgan slapped his hands together like he had solved some big puzzle. "You don't like men that intimidate you. So, if pretty boy over here asked you out, you'd say yes."

I didn't know a person's ears could blush until that moment when my eyes drifted over to Dr. Spencer Reid. The tips of his ears were bright pink and he was looking anywhere but at me.

I answered honestly again, I figured they’d know if I lied. Fucking profilers. “Yeah, I would say yes. But only if I didn’t know him.” Spencer’s eyes finally shifted over towards me. “You’re easily one of the most brilliant people in the world. You’d be bored to tears on a date with me,” I said, my gaze meeting his wide eyes.

The boy genius’s head tilted ever so slightly to the side, his lips moving like he muttered something under his breath.

Is it 5 yet?

JJ wasn’t totally prepared to let this go, because she asked, “Okay, so a yes to Spence, a no to Hotch and Morgan.” She tapped her chin with her index finger. “What about Will? You’ve met my husband, right?”

I had indeed met her husband with his Princess and The Frog accent. I couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, I met him the other day when he brought your son by. And…I don’t know, maybe him. He doesn’t give off an air of intimidation.” Which was the nicest way I could say ‘your husband doesn’t scare the shit out of me.’

I glanced down at my watch, seeing it was finally 4:55 pm. “Sorry guys, I need to get these files out before I go home.” With an overly bright smile, I darted away as fast as my uncomfortable shoes would let me.

My final stop was Hotch’s office, and I was so relieved that he wasn’t in it for once. I placed the file on his desk, looking at the pictures of a little boy, his son, I assumed, on his desk.

“I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

I'm not sure what I was more embarrassed by, the tiny yelp that escaped my lips or how I smacked my hand over my chest in such a dramatic fashion that I could have given Derek Morgan a run for his money. "Jesus fucking Christ, Hotch! You scared the shit out of me!"

His lips twitched in poorly concealed amusement, either at my reaction or my swearing at him. “Sorry, y/n. I didn’t know I needed to knock before I entered my office. I’ll try to do better next time.”

Oh, this guy has jokes now too.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his dry humor. “I’m sorry. I startle easily. I didn’t mean to swear at you.”

“Y/n, I’ve been with the bureau for almost 20 years. Trust me, I’ve heard worse.”

I bet he has.

“Well,” I cleared my throat awkwardly. “Alright then. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, sir.”

“Of course,” he stepped out of the doorway so I could exit. “Y/n?” He said it like it was an afterthought. “Do you really find me intimidating?”

My eyes were wide as I looked all the way up at him. Really, what was the point in being that tall? "Oh, absolutely, sir." Then I hurried out the door, not wanting to see his reaction or lack thereof.

--

After stopping by my office, I was waiting for the elevator when I felt someone behind me; turning I saw the pretty boy himself standing awkwardly off to my side. I offered him a small smile before shifting my attention back to the bank of elevators in front of me.

The middle one opened first, Spencer waved me in first before he entered and hit the button for the ground floor.

He was clearly working up his nerves to say something, you didn’t have to be a profiler to see that. “Hey, um, y/n?” I turned my head in his direction, waiting for him to continue. “What you said back there…that you’d go on a date with me if I asked, did you mean that?”

There was that blush again, he really was adorable. “Of course, I meant it, Spencer.” He didn’t look convinced. “I mean, why would I lie? I turned Morgan down right away. And Hotch, who is my boss.”

Spencer let out a small laugh at that, unable to argue against my point. “I guess that’s true.” The elevator doors opened, he waved me out first, again, before exiting himself. “Do you really think that I’d be bored on a date with you?”

"I mean, you have 3 Ph.D.'s and a super high IQ." I waved my free hand around, gesturing to myself like it would help me prove my point. "And look at me. I'm smart, but I'm not that smart. I couldn't put you through a date like that."

He didn’t seem to appreciate my self-deprecating humor. I headed for the doors without giving him a chance to respond. “Have a good night, Dr. Reid!” I offered a small wave before I all but sprinted out the doors towards the parking garage.

Why? Just why?

--

“We have to catch him before this turns into a spree,” Hotch’s voice was grave, his face the same stern mask it always was. “Wheels up in 30.”

Taking that as a dismissal, the team rose from the table, hurrying towards their respective desks to get their go-bags. That was the part of this job that took the longest to get used to. I never traveled much in public relations; now I'm on a plane several times a week. That in itself wouldn't be so bad…if I didn't still get terrible motion sickness. I don’t know why I hadn’t gotten used to it yet, but I had to keep some non-drowsy motion sickness pills in my go-bag at all times. I tried to take them before I boarded the jet; it was probably silly, but I didn’t really want the team to know. They were all superheroes in my eyes; superheroes don’t get motion sickness.

I was the last one to board the jet today. I was usually one of the first onboard, but I got held up on my way here speaking to someone from my old office. When I came through the plane's doors there rest of the team was spread out. Dr. Reid was laying on the couch, book propped open in his lap. Emily and JJ were on one side of the table with Morgan and Rossi on the other. The only seats available were towards the back of the plane; I could have sat by myself…or I could sit in the seat across from Hotch.

I always get anxiety about things other people find silly. I’m a grown woman, I should be more confident; I’m a fucking FBI agent for god’s sake. Yet here I was, nervously trying to decide where to sit. It would be weird to not sit near him, I reasoned. Offering Hotch a tight smile before I stored my go-bag, I sat down across the aisle from him.

I fastened my seatbelt over my lap, taking deep breaths through my nose. I had taken my medicine, but take off always got me a little bit, no matter what. I never took a window seat either, sometimes I’d look out and see how fast the world was passing by underneath us and…I shuddered just thinking about it.

"Hey," the voice beside me called, his voice was so quiet I don't think any of the others could hear it. I opened my eyes and turned to face him. His dark eyes looked oddly soft like he was concerned about me. "Are you alright?"

I offered him a tight smile. “Yeah, I’m okay, Hotch.”

"Did you take your medicine?" At my puzzled expression, he clarified. "For motion sickness."

What in the- “How did you know I get motion sickness?”

The corners of his mouth quirked up. “I’m a profiler, y/n, and I’ve been one for a long time.”

A little chuckle left my lips at that, right as the plane started moving forward, gaining speed for takeoff. I closed my eyes, telling myself that it was the impending take off that was causing my stomach to flutter, not the fact that my boss, who I thought was always indifferent to me, noticed me more than I thought he did.

--

Cases with kids were the hardest, there was no question about it. For me, the second hardest cases were women who were assaulted. It filled my gut with such a heavy, boiling rage whenever I thought about it. These women were just living their lives, unaware of the danger that was hunting them. Some fucking monster decided that being a man in our society didn’t offer him enough power; he had to hurt women, try to take their power so that he could feel more powerful.

I had heard stories about Elle Greenaway, the agent that resigned under suspicion that she shot a rapist in cold blood. I never commented on it, but I can’t say as I blame her. That attitude is probably why I don’t comment on it, I thought dryly.

The unsub the team was hunting in Northern Texas was a serial rapist and murderer. He had claimed 3 victims in the past 2 weeks; the locals were concerned that his pattern and level of violence were escalating too rapidly. The BAU agreed.

They started piecing this monster together through the clues he left behind. A white male, mid 30's, has a high-power job, won't be able to have stable relationships with women. They were tracking his comfort zone, interviewing families, and canvassing for information.

My job was to warn the women of this small town that there was a monster lurking in the shadows.

The team was sitting around in a small room in the center of the police station that was crammed with evidence boards. Emily was leaned back in her chair, JJ's head resting on her shoulder. Dr. Reid was facing the map of the county like if he stared at it long enough and answer would just pop into his head. Morgan's head was in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. Rossi and Hotch were talking in the corner, glancing around the room every so often.

Eventually, our leader cleared his throat. "Okay, lets head back to the hotel." At the groans of a few team members, he pressed on. "I know, I want to find this guy too. But we all need rest. We'll come back tomorrow with fresh eyes."

With that, we all headed to the black SUVs parked outside, ready to head to whatever hotel the bureau put us in for the night. The drive was quick, we all stood in the lobby while Hotch spoke to whoever was at the front desk. The conversation seemed to take longer than I needed to.

He walked back over, looking mildly uncomfortable. “There aren’t enough open rooms,” he said at last. “We’ll have to double up.” He held out his hand which contained 3 key cards.

…Wait a minute. “There are 7 of us.”

Hotch nodded. “Therein lies the problem. One room will have to have 3 people.”

I turned towards Emily and JJ, assuming I’d just room with them when Rossi interrupted. “No offense, guys. But…I’m old,” he laughed, his whole face lighting up. “I need my beauty sleep. I’m not sharing a room. I’ll go get my own.”

"They don't have any rooms, Dave."

Rossi looked at Hotch with a patronizing little smile that would have been extremely offensive coming from anyone else. “They don’t have any rooms for you," he clarified. "Not only am I old, but I'm also rich."

Sure enough, he walked over to the desk and spoke to the clerk for less than a minute before he was handed a keycard.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Morgan said with a laugh.

Rossi turned to us then, his eyes filled with poorly hidden mirth. “Sogni d’oro!” And with that, he walked towards the elevators.

“Huh?” JJ asked, her voice scratchy.

“Sweet dreams,” Reid and Prentiss supplied at the same time.

“Right.” Morgan shook his head. “Come on pretty Ricky.”

It hit me right then. Oh hell.

Hotch seemed to realize it at the same time Prentiss did. “Y/n, you room with JJ, I’ll stay with Hotch.”

Somehow this was more embarrassing than the conversation in the bullpen. “No,” I said quickly. “No, you guys go. I’ll room with Hotch.” I put a smile on my face, hoping I was convincing.

“Y/l/n, you just said that I intimidated you.”

Again, why couldn’t the earth just swallow me up? My laugh was forced, but hopefully, they hadn't heard my real laugh enough to know the difference. "Intimidated to go on a date with, Hotch. This isn't like that." Right? “C’mon! I’m sleepy.”

With that display of false bravado, I grabbed a key and made my way towards the elevators. I felt his presence behind me as we walked down the hall towards our rooms. I tried to control my heartbeat, calm my breathing the closer we got to the room. This is ridiculous, y/n. I had shared a room with Morgan before, no problem. I was comfortable around the team, I really was. Not for the first time, I wish I had the sense to not open my big mouth.

I reached for the door right when Hotch cleared his throat; I busied myself with getting into the room, ignoring him. Was it cowardly? Yes. Did I care? Not at that moment.

Until I walked into the room…and saw that there was one bed. Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me. “What is this, a rom-com?” I apparently didn’t mumble that part as quietly as I thought I had given the soft laugh I heard come from the man behind me.

“Y/n,” he said, his hand coming to my shoulder. “I didn’t realize there would only be one bed. Come on, let’s go down to Prentiss and JJ’s room.”

I let out a groan. “Hoooootch,” I whined. “All of this is just making me more embarrassed. This wouldn’t even be an issue if I hadn’t been a dumbass and opened my big mouth. This isn’t a big deal but going to talk to them will make it a big deal.”

He didn't look convinced, but I was so tired. I reached out and grabbed his arm before I could think better of it. "Aaron," my voice was soft, barely a whisper, but it was like he'd been struck by lightning. His eyes snapped up to mine, his lips parted slightly. It was then I realized I'd never called him by his first name before. "I trust you with my life. You'd intimidate me if I didn't know you. But I do know you, Aaron." My gaze never wavered from his.

“Okay.”

--

I laid in bed for 30 minutes pretending to be asleep. I listened to his breathing even out and I kept my back to him the entire time. I had tried to keep my bedtime routine brief, taking a quick shower and changing into my sleep shorts and a baggy shirt I’d had since college. My hair was pulled back so I wouldn’t get it wet in the shower.

The weirdest thing was seeing Hotch in normal clothes. In all the months I’d worked with him, I had never seen him not in a suit. He had a pair of flannel pajama pants on, a gray t-shirt stretched over his broad chest. He has really nice arms, I thought.

When I was sure he was asleep, I rolled over onto my back. My eyes had long since adjusted to the dark, allowing me to just stare at the ceiling.

“You’re thinking very loudly.”

I let out a squeak while my whole body jerked. "Goddamnit, Hotch!” That asshole had the nerve to chuckle. “Stop scaring me!”

“I’m sorry,” he said, not sounding even slightly sorry.

“I thought you were asleep.”

He rolled onto his back; I felt his eyes on my face. “I know,” was all he said.

I sighed, wondering how I had gotten myself into such a situation. “You really don’t intimidate me.” He made a noise which caused me to amend my statement. “Alright, alright. You do intimidate me. You’re just so…stern. And you’re so tall. What is the purpose of being that tall? It’s excessive. And I feel like your eyes can see through every single thing about me. I didn’t know you had muscles until today, but I always assumed you did. They’re very nice muscles-“ I cut myself off. Fuck.

That was the first time I ever heard Aaron Hotchner laugh. Not chuckle, not snicker quietly. He actually laughed. His laugh was a higher pitch than his speaking voice; it boomed out of him and transformed the whole mood in the room. That laugh warmed a part of my heart that I wasn’t comfortable thinking about. A huge grin broke out on my face. I made him laugh, and I was oddly proud of it.

“Thanks, y/n,” his voice was still filled with amusement. “I hadn’t known you were curious about the state of my muscles. You should have just said something.”

My head snapped to the side so my eyes could meet his. He was teasing me. SSA Aaron Hotchner, BAU unit Chief, was teasing me. I lifted my hand to his arm, giving him a shove. His bicep feels like granite. “Shut up.”

That asshat just kept laughing at me.

“Anyway, you do intimidate me,” my voice was soft again. “But I’m not afraid of you.”

Aaron regarded me thoughtfully. “So, it’s not that you’re not attracted to intimidating men,” he surmised. “You’re afraid of men.”

“Not all men,” I countered. “I’m afraid of men like you. Not you, but ones like you. You overwhelm me.”

He was quiet for a few moments. “Y/n…did someone hurt you?”

It was a natural question, a normal thought process; I should have expected the question. I felt tears prick the corner of my eyes. “Yes,” I whispered, feeling safe in the darkness of the room, safe but still so alone. “But not in the way you think.” I filled my lungs with a deep breath, hoping I would find some courage. It wasn’t until I felt his hand brush over mine, his calloused fingers brushing over the back of my hand, that I finally found it. I flipped my palm up and laced my fingers through his. He gave me a reassuring squeeze.

“I’ve had the same best friend all my life,” I began. “She’s marvelous. We’ve always been together; her mom said we were like peanut butter and jelly. I love her like she’s a part of me, Aaron.” I knew he would understand; I just knew it. “We were in college when it happened. We went to this frat party because I had a crush on some guy.” My voice was filled with venom and bitterness. “He was overwhelming, so tall, and so handsome. There was a darkness in him, but I was too young to see it. She did; my best friend could see he was a monster. I didn’t listen.” My breath was shuddering through me. “I didn’t listen to her, Hotch.”

He didn't say anything. He just shifted in the bed and pulled me to him, nestling me into his side, wrapping his arms around me while I laid my head on his chest. "I was so mad at her. So mad." The shame from all those years ago was still so fresh. "She took my drink and threw it on the floor. I told her she was embarrassing me… So, I went outside to get some air."

His arm tightened around me, his free hand coming up to stroke my hair. “You don’t have to-“

“I do,” I said, refusing to let another sob escape. “I came back inside and couldn’t find either of them. I thought maybe she was going to hook up with some guy…but she isn’t like that. She’s never been like that.” My stomach rolled at the thought; sometimes when I closed my eyes I could still smell the beer in the air, I could still feel the wood of the banister under my fingers. “I found them in a room upstairs. He had her pinned on the bed, he was-he-he was trying to take her pants off.” I didn’t deserve the comfort Aaron offered me in that moment, but I clung to him, grateful for it. “I screamed, and I guess I scared him. She kneed him and was able to push him off. We ran all the way home.”

“You saved her, y/n,” Aaron’s voice was so sure, so reassuring, no matter how hard I shook my head ‘no’. “You did. You could have just left; you were mad at her, but you still went back for her.”

I wiped my eyes. “You make it sound so simple.”

His lips pressed softly against my forehead, his hand stroking up and down my back. “That’s because it is.”

--

Things felt different in the harsh light of the police station than they had last night. Aaron was already in the shower when I woke up this morning. I fell asleep in his arms after I told him one of my darkest secrets. He didn't judge me; he didn't tell me I was a terrible person. He just held me; he offered me comfort and made me feel deserving of that comfort.

I dressed quickly and headed downstairs before he got out of the bathroom. My feelings were already swirling around in my head. It wasn’t that I wanted to be away from him, not at all. I just didn’t think it would help my feelings settle down to be confronted by a wet, hot, well-muscled Aaron Hotchner. It was an act of self-preservation if you think about it, I reasoned.

The next time I saw him was when the team was piling back into the SUVs to head to the police station. He offered me a small smile, and I think his eyes may have twinkled a little bit when I smiled back at him a little too brightly.

Profilers.

The team was as refreshed as they could be. Dr. Reid was looking at access and service roads on the map, trying to determine the route the unsub took to dispose of his victims. JJ and Morgan were out canvassing the women's neighborhoods. Rossi was with Prentiss in the sheriff's office speaking with the family of the most recent victim, Bethany Mooreland.

This was the hardest part of my job. I wasn’t a profiler. I felt like I had nothing to offer. I was fielding calls from the media, trying to organize a targeted strategy. The team thought that if the unsub saw that he was being mocked in the press, or his masculinity was called into question in any way, that he would act out more viciously. While acting out might cause him to make a mistake, we couldn’t risk another woman’s life.

The conference room doors burst open, Hotch storming inside with Morgan and JJ hot on his heels. “There’s been another attack.”

I felt my stomach drop. “Fuck.”

“Y/n, she’s alive.”

“…What?!”

The dark-haired man that held me in his arms last night only nodded. “She’s at the hospital. I want you to come with JJ and me to interview her.”

…Me?

--

Summer Webb was 25 years old; she was a customer service rep at a call center just outside of town. She lived alone, had a cat named Pringles, and was close with her family.

I held her hand while JJ and Hotch put her through a cognitive interview. I rubbed her back while she recounted how the unsub only left her because he thought she was dead. Tears ran down my cheeks when she described what he did to her.

Steel and ice ran through my veins when I looked her in the eyes and promised that we would get this monster.

I’d kill him myself if I had to.

Once her mother arrived at the hospital, we left, promising to call with any updates; uniformed officers were stationed outside her hospital door. Hotch spoke to Garcia, then to Rossi, then to Reid, then Garcia again on our ride back. JJ read over Summer’s statement, occasionally jotting down notes.

I was quiet.

Almost. Almost there. I walked into the station without really seeing it. I navigated my way down the hall on instinct. I pushed the door to the bathroom open, looked around to confirm I was alone…then I broke. I placed my hands on the countertop that housed 3 separate sinks, my tears ran down my cheeks and splashed on the fake granite.

I don’t know how long I had been there when I thought I heard a knock on the door. That didn’t make any sense, the door didn’t have a lock; there were multiple stalls in this bathroom.

But I had heard a knock. The door swung open and someone walked inside. I heard him whisper my name, the tone of his voice was so soft, so fucking sad, that it only made me cry harder. Aaron put his hands on my shoulders, turning me around to face him, then letting me collapse against him.

He murmured words I couldn’t understand against the top of my head, he wrapped his arms tight around me; I was sure I would have fallen completely apart if he wasn’t holding me together.

“You must think I’m so weak,” I muttered when my tears had finally slowed.

He stiffened, though his hands never stopped moving, stroking my hair and my back. "Just the opposite, y/n." I pulled back to meet his eyes; I saw nothing but honesty swirling in those dark brown pools. His eyes appeared so dark from far away, almost black. From this close, I could see the subtle shift between various shades of brown. They weren't cold like I had always suspected; Aaron Hotchner's eyes were warm and understanding. They were the eyes of a man who had seen far too much evil for one lifetime but refused to yield his fight for even a second.

I could fall in love with those eyes.

“You’re the furthest thing from weak I’ve ever seen,” he continued. “Your heart is so big that it aches for a woman you don’t even know. It’s alright to cry right now, it’s alright to let yourself fall down for a moment. But I know you, y/n,” he was repeating my words from last night back to me. “You’re going to pull yourself back together. And then you’re going to help us find that son of a bitch before he hurts anyone else.”

Maybe I could fall in love with more than just his eyes.

--

There are certain moments in my life that I will look back on and remember with perfect clarity. That night when I almost lost my best friend, the day I graduated from the academy, the first night I spent in Aaron Hotchner’s arms were just a few.

I would also remember when the call came in from Garcia; how Morgan and Reid ran into the room. How Hotch’s eyes shot to mine when we found out the monster’s name. I didn’t have to ask; he nodded at me, those warm brown eyes were hidden now, hardened by pure ice-cold rage.

I strapped on my vest and road in the back seat in the SUV Morgan drove.

Summer’s monster was named Jeremy Carpenter. Her monster was a white man with brown hair, brown eyes, with a scar on the back of his right hand.

None of us were sure how he knew we were coming, but he had already barricaded himself inside his house. We heard a scream when the first gunshot was fired. I wanted more than anything to bring Summer's monster in alive; I wanted to offer her the chance to face him if she wanted to.

Aaron didn’t ask if I wanted to go to the hospital once everything was over; he really did know me. He took me to see her, he kept his hand on my back while I told Summer and her mother what happened. What I will remember most of all is how her mother hugged me when I told her the monster was gone, that he would never harm anyone ever again. I hit him in his leg; he was in pain before our unit chief put a bullet between his eyes.

We had come to the hospital alone; the rest of the team went back to the station to finish up paperwork. I held his hand on the way back to the hotel; I held his hand while we walked to our room.

I offered him a small smile before I made my way into the bathroom, determined to wash the events of the day off of my skin.

He was gone when I came back out.

--

It goes without saying that I had doubted most men in my life, especially since that night all those years ago.

I never once doubted Aaron Hotchner.

I was sitting on the bed when he came back, staring at the TV without seeing.

“Hey,” he said softly. “I thought you’d still be in the shower.” He set two bags down on the only table in our room. “You haven’t eaten since breakfast. I thought-“

“Hotch,” he looked at me then, his eyes locking onto mine. “Thank you.” I didn’t need to specify for what. He knows.

He pulled our food out while I made my way to the table. I couldn’t hold in my chuckle. “You know I get motion sickness; you know my favorite foods…just how closely do you pay attention to me, Agent Hotchner?”

He didn’t look the least bit embarrassed. “More closely than I should.”

We sat together and ate in comfortable silence. The next time he spoke was to answer a phone call from Jack. I tried to hide my smile while I listened to his conversation. Unlike the rest of his team, I hadn’t gotten to see Aaron Hotchner, the father. What is it about men being good father’s that is so attractive, I mused. Is it biological? I made a note to ask Dr. Reid.

After we ate, he went to shower while I stretched out on our bed, scrolling through my phone. When Hotch emerged from the bathroom he was in another pair of flannel pants paired with a black t-shirt. I pursed my lips in both amusement and disappointment.

“What?” His eyebrow was raised quizzically. Why are his eyebrows hot?

I giggled. "Nothing." At his incredulous look, I amended, "it's nothing interesting."

He sat down beside me on the right side of the bed, his back resting against the headboard. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

“Hooootch,” I whined, covering my face with my hands. “I’ve already embarrassed myself in front of you enough for one lifetime.”

His hand came up to grab mine, pulling them down from my face. Any attempts I made to wiggle away from him were in vain. Apparently, those muscles aren’t all show and no go. My body had shifted down the bed during my halfhearted struggles, meaning Aaron was now propped up on his elbow, his body angled over mine. “Embarrassed? I don’t remember any embarrassing times,” he pretended to give this some thought. “Unless you’re referring to last night when you mentioned how much you think about my muscles?”

I tried to jerk my arms out of his hands, but he held fast, laughing openly while my face turned red. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you not talking about that?” He pushed my arms back onto the bed, rising to his knees, positioning his body over me, his face hovering over mine. “Then it must have been when you lied to the whole team a few days ago.”

I squeaked in outrage. “I didn’t lie about anything!”

He was so beautiful when that scowl left his face. “Yes, you did!” he insisted. “You said you wouldn’t say ‘yes’ if I asked you out. And, based on the evidence, I have to say I don’t believe that to be true.”

“Oh, I forgot I was dealing with a former prosecutor.” He nodded gravely, earning another giggle from me. “Okay, counselor. What’s the evidence?”

“The most glaring piece of evidence is you won’t tell me what you were thinking when you were looking at me when I came out of the shower.”

I let out a whine, accepting my fate. He’s literally on top of you, dumbass. Something tells me he’s gonna be receptive. “Okay, okay. I may have…hurried out of the room this morning while you were in the shower.”

Hotch quirked an eyebrow. “I know. Go on.”

“Asshole,” I muttered, delighted when he laughed. Hearing his laugh was one thing, but seeing it too? My insides were basically liquid. “I may have ran as an act of self-preservation. I was…worried that you’d come out of the bathroom in a towel. And you’d be wet, and hot, and I would…make an idiot out of myself, much like I am now.”

Aaron was delighted by how bright red my face turned; he made no attempt to hide his amusement. “So, just now, you were disappointed that I came out fully clothed?”

“Hotch,” I moaned out in embarrassment. He wasn’t making this easy on me.

My eyes were shut tight, my head turned away from him like this would somehow prevent him from seeing me. His left hand lifted from my wrist, his fingers coming to rest on my chin, turning my face towards him. "If you're going to moan my name while we're in bed, y/n, I'd prefer if you called me Aaron." My eyes snapped open. His eyes were still warm, teasing, but there was a certain heat in them I hadn’t seen before that made my lower belly flutter. He leaned closer to my face. “It would be hard for me to focus at work if you every time you said ‘Hotch’ I thought about you like this.”

I waited for a few moments for him to act before I realized Aaron couldn’t cross the line first. He wouldn’t be mean if I rejected him; that wasn’t the type of man he was. But the choice was mine; it had always been mine.

I lifted my free hand up to cup the side of his face, urging him closer to me. The first brush of my lips over his was so soft I wasn't sure it was even happening. It was so hesitant but so pure that it made me ache. Aaron pulled back to look at me; he was breathing hard like he had been running instead of just kissing me.

“Y/n…”

“Don’t profile me, Aaron.” I lifted my head, my teeth nipping at his bottom lip. “I want this. I want you.”

His posture shifted, he released my left arm to brace himself above me with his arms caging me in; he moved his legs, wedging one of his thighs in between mine. “I’m not profiling you. I can see how much you want this.” No need to sound so arrogant. “But I need to be sure…I’ve wanted to touch you for so long.”

My hands moved up to touch him, one hand feeling the soft hair at the nape of his neck that was still a little damp from the shower; my other hand gripped his bicep. “Then touch me, Aaron. Please.”

I wasn’t ready for the full force of Aaron Hotchner. He was the most intense man I had ever known, and that intensity didn’t stop in the bedroom. Aaron didn’t kiss me, he tried to consume me. His mouth moved over mine with a carnal hunger that made me throb, shifting against his firm thigh that was rested against me. I was desperate for any friction. I felt his hand move down from where it was cupping my face to rest on my collarbone, his thumb tracing over the base of my throat.

His lips moved off of mine to blaze a path down my jaw, his teeth nipping at the skin there before he moved back to my lips. “Don’t worry, sweetheart.” He pushed his thigh against the seam of my body, causing a whimper to escape from my throat. I didn’t even mind the smirk that covered his mouth. “We’ll get there. Just let me make you feel good.”

I opened my mouth to him; his tongue swirled around mine while the hand that wasn’t bracing him up moved to my hip. His fingers ran over the skin of my stomach that was exposed from my shirt riding up. I placed my hand over his, guiding it further up my stomach; how was I supposed to take my mouth away from his to tell him what I wanted?

Of course, Aaron knew what I needed; I was beginning to learn that he always did. His fingers trailed up my body until he got to the underside of my breast; the callouses that roughened his fingertips were heaven on my overly sensitive skin. My mouth broke away from his in a guttural cry when those fingers finally found my nipple. Aaron moved his kisses down to the side of my throat. I felt his breath against my throat when he murmured, “you’re so sexy, y/n.”

Raising up on his knees, he started tugging my shirt up; I lifted my upper body so I could slide my shirt off quickly. I heard Aaron groan when my chest was revealed to him, but I was on a mission of my own. Once I had his shirt pulled up over his abdomen, Aaron reached behind his back and pulled his shirt off at the neck.

My nails raked down the skin that covered his chest, reveling in the groan that left his mouth. He leaned over me again, his lips wasting no time before they covered my nipple. My hands tried to grip the short hair at the back of his head.

“Aaron,” I gasped out. “I need…more. Please.”

He started kissing his way to my other breast. “What do you need, sweetheart? Do you want to grind against my thigh? Do you need to use me to get off?” His tongue flicked over my nipple. “Or do you want me to use my hand? Is that what you need, Angel?” My heart stuttered at the sweet nickname just as much as it did at his filthy words. “Do you need me to put my fingers in your pussy?”

My thighs were shifting restlessly. “Yes, yes, please Aaron.”

When his mouth closed around my nipple, I felt his left-hand slide down into my shorts, then into my panties. He shifted his wrist, allowing his hand to cup me. He groaned against my skin. "I haven't even put a finger inside of you and I can already feel how wet you are. Your little cunt is just dripping for me.”

I didn’t have a chance to respond before he parted my lips, his finger ghosting over my clit, causing my back to arch off the bed. He smirked but didn’t tease me further; he slid his fingers down to my opening before pushing his middle and ring finger inside of me, using the heel of his hand to grind against my clit. I moved my hand to my mouth, having to bite on my skin to silence the scream that his actions brought forward.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He leaned back, never pausing the movement of his fingers. “Are you trying to be quiet? Do you not want everyone in this hotel to know how wet you are? How desperate you are to have my fingers inside of you?” All I could do was nod. “It’s all right, baby. Once we get home, I’ll hear you scream for me. But for now; be a good girl and try to be quiet. I’m the only one that gets to hear what you sound like when you cum for me.”

I was grinding against him, working my hips desperately, matching his rhythm. I was so close. “Aaron, NO!” was all I could say when he removed his fingers from inside me. The man just smiled at me, looking me straight in my eyes when he put his fingers in his mouth, licking me off of them.

He grabbed my shorts and panties at my hips, roughly jerking them off my body. “When we get home,” he said as he slowly started to push his own pajama pants down. “The first thing I’m going to do is lay on my back and make you put this pussy on my mouth. You taste so good, angel.” His cock sprang free; he was so much thicker than I expected. I was transfixed, just watching his fist pump up and down his hard length. “Will you do that for me? Will you ride my face?”

“Yes,” I was so desperate I would agree to anything in that moment. “I’ll do anything. Just please fuck me, Aaron.”

He used the fingers of his free hand to part my pussy lips again, rubbing over my clit. “I don’t have a condom, sweetheart, but-“

“I’m on the pill,” I reach out to grip his shoulders, pulling him on top of me. “I trust you. I trust you with everything. I need you inside me, Aaron.”

He shoved my thighs open, running the head of his cock up and down my pussy, coating himself in my arousal. He looked up at me again, giving me another moment to back out, before he slowly started to push inside of me. He stroked in and out of me, going a little bit deeper each time until he bottomed out. Aaron’s head fell to the dip of my shoulder. “Fuck,” he whispered. “You’re so fucking tight.” He started moving then. Slowly pulling out before he shoved himself back inside me. My hands were on his back, my nails digging into his skin. I wrapped my legs around his back, trying to draw him deeper inside me.

“You feel so good,” I whisper, biting his shoulder to keep my moans quiet.

Aaron raised up on straight arms, changing the tempo of his thrusts. “You’re not doing a very good job of being quiet, baby.” I whimpered; I couldn’t help it. “I think we might have to do something about that. He quickly pulled out of me; I didn’t have time to complain before he flipped me over, gripping my hips and lifting me up on to my knees. His hand palmed my ass cheek while he leaned over me, his breath hot on my ear. “This is how you need to be fucked.”

Raising up, he lined himself up and slammed inside of me. I bit my lip so hard that I could taste blood; Aaron tangled his hands in the back of my hair, pulling my head up while he set a brutal pace. "Quiet, baby. You don't want everyone to know what a dirty girl you are. Screaming for my cock, so wet that you're dripping down your thighs." His pace didn't slow down; I felt my orgasm rising up inside me. "Touch your clit for me, sweet girl. I want to feel you cum on my cock."

My fingers began circling my clit in a frenzy, causing my pussy to flutter around him. “That’s a good girl. Such a good girl for me. Can you be quiet when you cum? Or do I need to shove your face down in the mattress while I fuck you?” He gave a dark chuckle at my needy whine. “That’s what I thought.”

In the way that he knew everything, Aaron knew when my orgasm was peaking. He pushed my head down, never too hard, but hard enough. I bit the comforter in an attempt to silence my scream. I felt myself clamp down around his thick cock. My orgasm broke inside me so quickly. I screamed his name while I came; the comforter silenced some of it, but he heard it. That scream along with my pussy cumming on him was ultimately his undoing. He gave a few final thrusts before he went all the way, holding himself inside me as deep as he could, filling me with his cum.

I collapsed after that. I had never felt anything like this before. Aaron was there, knowing what I needed even when I didn’t. He held me for a moment until I caught my breath. Then he went into the bathroom, coming back with a damp washcloth to clean me up. He was so tender with my sensitive flesh; he didn’t say anything, he just focused on his task.

Once he was satisfied, he laid down beside me, drawing me into his side just as he’d done the night before. I couldn’t help the dry chuckle that left my exhausted body. Aaron made a ‘hmm’ noise. “I was just thinking about last night,” I said quietly, my voice raw from the screaming I had just done. “You held me like this last night. It was just 24 hours ago, but the whole world feels different.”

He made a noise in the back of his throat that I took as an agreement. After a beat, he said, "well, maybe you won't run out on me in the morning this time."

I looked into his eyes, raising up to press a kiss against his stubbly jaw. “I’ll never run again.”

And I meant it. I could face any monster, as long as Aaron Hotchner was beside me.

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically | Chapter 21-24

Summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast. friends to lovers, case of the week style story.

Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy

A/N; thee case in c21 is personal to me, like fictional revenge.

word count so far: 70K (chapter 1-25)

chapter 21

Having Spencer all to herself for 3 weeks straight was an experience she’ll never forget. They had the whole month of January off together, painting and re-decorating their home till it was exactly how they wanted it. It felt like home, it was theirs for real now.

Painting the bedroom green was the best idea she’s ever had. When the sun finally woke them up every morning, it wasn’t as blinding. It was paradise. The golden beams of light cast a beautiful glow around the room, it was like she was in a magic forest at the start of every day.

Spencer was laying on his back, his hair scattered on the pillow. He looked so peaceful, sleeping with his mouth wide open. Y/N was leaning on her elbow, looking down at the beautiful man she had the pleasure of spending the rest of her life with.

She brushed the hair off his face, watching his nose scrunch up as he felt her fingertips on his cheek. The sun on his face made him glow, he looked like a gift from god laying before her.

“Good morning baby,” she whispered softly. Dragging her finger along his jaw and down his neck, “we get to go to work today.”

Spencer stretched as he woke up, slipping an arm under her and pulling her into his chest. She held on tight, kissing his neck as she settled in. “Morning,” he replied. Raspy as ever.

“Wanna go get breakfast?” She asked softly.

He laughed against her skin, “gotta feed the baby.”

“And the wiiiife,” she teased.

“Not for another 11 weeks and 2 days,” he corrected her. “But yes, we should go get breakfast,” he whispered after a moment.

“Come on get up,” she replied with a big smile. He patted her ass as she peeled out of his grasp. Sitting up and stretching, taking a look down at the basketball protruding from her stomach. “Damn.”

“What?” Spencer asked.

She stood up beside the bed and pulled her shirt up, showing Spencer how big her stomach was. Turning sideways so he really got a good look at it. Spencer leaned over and kissed her right on her belly button that was beginning to pop.

“I know your ears are on in there, I love you, Matthew,” Spencer whispered against her skin.

She couldn’t stop smiling, taking a moment to rub her hands over the bump in amazement. “Hi Mr. Matty MaGoo, mommy also loves you.”

“Mr. Matty MaGoo?” Spencer laughed, looking at her with the biggest smile.

“Yes,” She laughed. “It just came to me, and it's going to stick.”

“Derek’s been calling him Mini G,” Spencer added.

“We should tell him it's Matthew, then he can be little Matty G,” Y/N swooned. “Seriously let’s go I miss everyone.”

“Okay, okay go get ready then,” he insisted, getting out of bed and dragging her to the bathroom.

—

Spencer drove, giving her a chance to look over her work emails before the day started. She was still CC’d on a bunch of VICAP things, being able to snoop on what was coming in and inspecting it.

Sometimes Mindy would CC her in just for an opinion.

Subject: Found Something. From; Mindy Patel To; SSA Y/N Y/L/N, Unit Chief SSA Aaron Hotchner, SSA-CL Jennifer Jareau

There’s been a child abduction in Arizona, I’ve pieced together some thing’s I’ve been working on in the background that might help the case if you are called in to assist. Even if you are not I believe you should take a look at this.

Mindy Patel, VICAP.

Attachment

Year: 1998 Victim 1: Emily Lawrence - 13. Kept till 16. Taken: August 3rd, 1998. Williams, AZ Found: June 10th, 2001. Camp Verde, AZ ME: decay has he placed at 48 hours postmortem when she was found - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.

Year: 2001 Victim 2: Olivia Tomms - 13. Kept till 16 Taken: August 3rd, 2001. Payson, AZ Found: June 23rd, 2004. Florence, AZ ME: decay has her at about 2 weeks postmortem. - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.

Year: 2004 Victim 3: Shelby Summers - 13. Kept till 16. Taken: August 3rd, 2004. Peach Springs, AZ Found: July 16th, 2007. Keams, AZ ME: decay has her at over a month postmortem. - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.

Year: 2007 Victim 4: Beth Green - 11. Kept till 13 Taken: August 3rd, 2007. Saint John, AZ Found: January 13th, 2010. @ flagstaff hospital. ME: COD complications from a miscarriage. Massive blood loss. - well taken care of. Throat damage. Signs of being detained long term. Info:good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped with remorse like he didn’t want her to die, and he felt sorry because he loved her.

Newest abduction: Name: Sally Irvine - 12 Taken: February 3rd, 3pm. Middle School pick-up (missing 13 hours now) Witness Report: Italian/greek man. Early 30’s. Claimed to be her parents assistant. Sally was used to going home with random people from her parents' work. Handsome man, very charming and convincing. He wore a suit and drove a Silver Honda Civic. Rust at the back, partial plate HC8.

“Fuck,” Y/N cried silently as she scrolled through all the information, even in a compact form.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, looking over at her with concern.

“Um,” she didn’t really know why she was reacting like this at first. Then it hit her. “Mindy sent me a case and it’s hitting a little too close to home.”

“Would you like to explain it yet? It’s okay if you want to process it alone,” Spencer comforted her easily like it was his second nature.

She let out a deep breath. “There’s a serial killer in Arizona that is kidnapping girls between 11 and 13, only keeping them 3 years. Every ME report says they have extensive internal throat damage, and 3 of the 4 found were never pregnant. This unsub is forcing them into oral for 3 years straight.”

“Fuck,” Spencer agreed. “I think we should take this one, if you can’t I would fully understand.”

“I think the unsub is my rapist.”

Spencer pulled over onto the side of the road. Putting the car in park and flashing the 4-ways. He turned to her softly and looked at her with a blank face.

“Walk me through it.”

“What?”

“If I’m going to go in there with you and tell Hotch that this is the same guy who hurt you, then you’re going to need to explain it to him and the team,” Spencer explained softly. “You’ve never even told me the full story, I don’t know anything about that summer other than the fact something happened. The first time you repeat this in front of me is going to be hard, and I don’t want you to have to do that in front of all of them.”

She couldn’t help herself from letting out a small sob, “okay.”

She took a few minutes to collect her thoughts, and calm down enough to get full words out of her mouth.

“When I was 12,” she started. “My mom went back to work, and she didn’t trust me to watch my brothers because they were rowdy and never listened to me. Like you said, they were more like my older brothers.

“My dad’s best friend, Jimmy, his wife had MS so she was home all the time. They had 3 older children and a few foster boys, she was used to lots of kids being there. And she had a pool to keep us occupied,” she bit her lip before she explained anymore.

“My mom’s birthday is June 8th. That’s when victim 1 was murdered,” was the first fact she explained that related to the case. She handed Spencer her phone so he could read and follow along.

“My dad is a Mason with the Masonic Lodge in Los Vegas, and he was becoming the master of his division on my mom's birthday that year, so we rented a hall and had a big party. Jimmy’s foster son was there, you remember Christopher Torsey? He was a freshman and I was in grade 6, about to enter grade 7, that was when the grooming started. He took me into the back room and asked if anyone had ever kissed me, I said no. He leaned in and kissed me in the dark and I was a giggly mess.

“My parents and his were really friends and he would come over all the time, our dads would drink in the backyard with our mothers till 1 in the morning most weekends. So I spent long periods of time with this boy for a few years, trusting him like a friend before he started anything. That summer he would always find a way to wander off with me, at first it was just kissing in different places where we could be alone together. Then he would touch my boobs, and he had me take my shirt off a few times.”

Spencer looked calm, but the redness in his face and the pulse in his neck told a different story. Her breathing got heavier as she had to recall it all, and she didn’t want him to be so upset.

“We worked at a local church camp together that July, we’d do crafts and sing songs and after all the kids left and we had to clean up, he’d find a way to take me to the room where they held the nativity scene out of season. He’d start kissing and touching me like normal, and then Kendra walked in once and saw and suddenly he went from obsessed with me, to disgusted, saying I came on to him and that it was all me. He was disgusted by me when we were in public, but he loved me apparently behind closed doors.”

“On August 3rd,” a tear slipped down her cheek. “The day the girls go missing. That was the first time he took me back to the shed and said ‘when two people are in love, they do things, and I love you. So you have to,’ He took his, you know, and I’d never seen one before. It was scary and I didn’t want to, I wanted to leave, but he pushed me against the wall and down to my knees.” She had to stop to take a breath, Spencer was crying silently as he watched her explain it all.

“He kept me trapped there while he did it,” she explained. “The worst part is that his parents were hosting a wedding that night, so no one could hear me basically screaming no over the music. He knew that. And so, when I complained about the sore throat the next day, my parents thought it was from all the singing.”

Spencer let out a shaky breath, he looked at her with so much love and sadness, she knew he loved her. She reached across the centre console and wiped the tears off his face, pecking his lips softly before sitting back to continue.

“The dates match up, he was Italian, they’re all 11-13 with throat damage,” she ran it down. “It’s him.”

Spencer licked his lips, wiping the tears off his face before taking a deep breath. “Okay, let’s go tell Hotch.”

Aaron stood up from his desk after Y/N explained the situation, walking up close to her with a sad smile on his face, “this was a very hard thing to come forward with. How would you like to participate in the investigation?” He was soft with her for the first time, it was surreal.

“Um, I’d like to come with you to Arizona,” she said softly. “when Garcia finds him, I’d like to be the one to interview him.”

“Do you think that is a wise idea?” He asked softly.

“When I was 16, years after everything happened. I went to Jimmy’s house for an event, and Christopher was there, and I went to his room. I was so desperate for the bullying to stop. For the lies, he had told about me to go away, that I went in there and apologized to him,” her voice almost disappeared as she got to the end of the sentence. Crying in disbelief. “2 years later he started abducting. I apologized to my rapist and he started kidnapping girls. I need to look him in the eyes and find out why he did it.”

“Okay, let’s tell the team.”

Y/N and Garcia spent an hour building the case files and compiling all the data they had on Christopher Torsey. Joining the team in the briefing room, where Spencer had already relayed the events to the team. Y/N didn’t need to describe it all 3 times in 2 hours.

She passed all the folders out, trying to avoid the looks the team gave her. They were sorry, they respected her, they wanted revenge for her. She knew it all came from a place of love, however, she hated being perceived by others.

It was a trauma thing. For so long people had the wrong idea about her, she was bullied and put down, and hated for no reason. She hates any form of attention, the glances and staring, the whispers of rumours being told as fact. It was stressful.

“Before we start,” she started softly. “Thank you in advance for your concerns, but I’ve been in therapy for 10 years. I’m very happy, this is gonna fuckin’ suck, but at the end of the day I’m coming home to a man who loves me, a baby on the way, and the best friends I can ask for. He’s going to prison. I win.”

Derek smiled at her, “that’s my girl. What did you find?”

“Christopher Torsey was born in November of 1979. His father was extremely abusive, he was in the ER a lot by the time he was 11. His mother killed herself in front of him when he was 12, he also watched his father rape his mother according to his child therapist,” Garcia started. Not knowing how to say the next part without Y/N crying.

“He uh, he said that his dad would tell his mom to be quiet. That-uh, I’m sorry, shouldn’t you say this?”

Y/N stepped in without a second thought. “He said that his father would hold the fact that he loved her over her head to force her into having sex with him. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“He’s our guy for sure. Do we have an address?” Prentiss asked.

“Yeah, he lives in a double-wide trailer in Cottonwood. Near the back with his own access to the main road,” Y/N explained. “I knew he moved to Arizona when Jimmy finally kicked him out. I haven’t heard from him in years.”

“Y/N is coming with us, wheels up in 20.”

—

Cottonwood PD waited for them to arrive before apprehending him. They were concerned that he would run, with his access to the woods and a four-wheeler in his possession, it was a matter of boxing him in quietly with a backup plan in place and men on the ground.

“Can I suggest something?” Y/N cut into the Police Chief and Hotch’s conversation.

“Sure.”

“Um, what if I walk up in our civilian clothes, and just pretend that we’re there to rub it in his face that I'm happy and in love,” Y/N suggested. “I can wear a wire, you can be in a surveillance van listening in. You’ll be right there if we see Sally or sense something’s up.”

“Are you sure you can do that?” Hotch asked her.

“I am,” she turned to Spencer, “if you can control your temper you can come. If not, I’ll show up with Derek and still rub it in his face that someone loves me now.”

Spencer sighed deeply as he contemplated it. “I’ll kill him,” he admitted. “Take Derek.”

“Let’s get suited up,” Derek patted Spencer’s shoulder. “I won’t let him hurt her again. Don’t worry.”

“I know.” Spencer looked disappointed.

Everyone left the room, leaving Spencer and Y/N alone. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug resting her face against his chest. He softly held her in return, rubbing his hands along her back with his cheek on her head.

“I love you, forever and always,” She reminded him. “And I know how much you love me, believe me. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I didn’t truly believe Chris was wrong.”

She pulled back when she felt a tear on her head. She wiped it softly with her thumb as he leaned his cheek into her palm. “I am loveable, and you love me. I win.”

He laughed softly, “I won too.”

She pulled him into a soft kiss, “I’ll be back in your arms soon.”

“I’ll be in the van watching the whole time, I love you so much,” he added for good measure.

She smiled as she walked away, throwing a fist in the air like the end of the breakfast club. Knowing full well he’d never get the reference. JJ on the other hand, laughed as she followed with Spencer.

They changed into regular clothes, getting in a car from the impound lot and following the surveillance van. Morgan was quiet, Y/N knew he wanted to talk to her, to go over the plan, but he didn’t know how to. The wire wouldn’t be on till they walked out, giving Y/N and Derek their privacy if he ever chose to speak.

“Did you ever confront your guy?” Y/N asked.

He nodded, “Carl Buford. I got to show him who I am now, that I put men like him behind bars. That I’ll always win.”

“Is it a good feeling?”

Derek set his hand palm up on the centre console, looking at her softly as if to ask her to take it. She interlocked their fingers, he rubbed his thumb against her skin.

“You’re right, it fucking sucks. The original pain never goes away, but there is a content feeling knowing he won’t get to hurt another person, that he might get his ass kicked in prison,” he smiled that beautiful Derek smile. “I’ll always be here for when you need someone who gets it.”

“Thank you,” she smiled.

They pulled into the trailer park slowly, separating from the team as they approached Christopher’s trailer. “Just pretend you’re Spencer, treat me the way he would. I know Spencer tells you everything, go off of memory of what he’s said about me.”

“You know he tells me everything?” Derek asked softly, laughing a little to himself.

“Because he also tells me everything,” she smirked. “When he’s tired and he rambles, he tells me about his whole day and that includes when he asks you for advice.”

“You two are gross,” he smiled. “I hope I can replicate it.”

“Come on,” she laughed, getting out of the car and waiting for Derek at the hood.

She took his hand before walking up to the door, a hand on her belly to make it look bigger. Really wanting to show off that she was in a better place than he was.

She knocked, 3 times, stepping back so he could open the door. She didn’t feel scared, she felt anxious in excitement to watch Derek take him to the floor.

“Y/N?” She heard his voice for the first time in 13 years. “What are you doing here?”

“My therapist suggested that I come here and show you someone actually did end up loving me, regardless of what you said,” she explained.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he panicked, flashing his eyes back and forth between her and Derek.

“I can come in and explain it for you if you’d like?” Y/N smiled. “You’ve got nothing to hide I assume? I’m just wildly obsessed with you and a liar right? That’s what you told everyone so I wouldn’t be able to say you forced my head on your dick with the promise that you loved me.”

“I- I uh,” he stuttered. Starting to shake lightly.

“That’s what you do to all the girls, isn’t it, Chris?” Derek cut in, pulling the screen door open and watching as Christopher ran to the back of the house. “We got a runner!!” He announced to the wire.

Y/N didn’t run after him, she knew the team had him. She walked through the house to watch from the back door. Only to find Spencer stiff-arming him.

Christopher flipped over Spencer’s arm, hitting the ground before Spencer was on top of him. Spencer punched him in the face, once, twice, three times before he stopped. Sitting over the unconscious man as he caught his breath. Everyone just watched him. He rolled Christopher over, cuffed him and walked away into the woods.

Y/N carefully jogged into the yard, passing the bleeding and groaning asshole she used to know as she ran after Spencer. He was walking too fast, and he didn’t look like he was going to stop.

“Spencer Walter Reid!” She yelled at him as if she was his mother. “Stop.”

He stopped abruptly, huffing as he did so. He only turned around to face her when she finally caught up to him. “Don’t touch me yet,” he instructed her.

“Okay,” she stopped a foot in front of him. “Look at me, breathe. In and out.” She used her hands as she motioned a breath in, and a release out. She repeated it 4 times, watching him do the same.

“Can I hug you now?” She asked softly.

He nodded, stepping into her space and wrapping himself around her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“It was actually really appreciated,” she laughed. “I was debating if having a baby at 22 weeks was worth punching him in the face a few times.”

Spencer laughed softly into her shoulder. Squeezing her in his grasp as he breathed her in. “I love you.”

“I love you, more,” she smiled against his neck before pressing a soft kiss to his ever-beating pulse. “Let’s go see the team, come on.”

Y/N was adamant about searching the trailer with the team. Going to the surveillance van for a vest and gloves while Christopher was taken to the police station, and Spencer had his hand wrapped up.

It still smelled like him in there. The smell of his detergent mixed with smoke from the fireplace. It never changed. She noticed his PlayStation was on, he was still interested in games. He still slept with the brown comforter that was on his bed when she was 12. It was worn down, holes gathered at the bottom as it was almost see-through now.

She opened the closet to see a very large metal safe in its place. She took a deep breath, looking at the keypad to see what numbers had been worn down the most, guessing his password.

0803

It popped open, it made her feel sick to her stomach. As she opened it, she heard the muffled screams behind duck tape. Sally Irvine was tied up, hunched over in a tiny metal box while he played GTA.

She wanted to kill him.

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” she shushed the girl. “Sally, my name is Y/N. We’re here to take you home, you're safe now.”

Y/N took the tape off Sally’s mouth softly, the girl sobbed immediately. Not able to say a single thing as Y/N untied her and held Sally in her arms. Sally hugged her back as tight as she could, sobbing into her shirt as Y/N rocked her back and forth. Crying along with her.

“He did it to me when I was 12 too,” Y/N whispered.

Sally pulled back and looked at her with puffy eyes, “really?” She asked. Her voice low and scratchy.

“JJ can you get some water?” She called behind her. “Yes. I was his first.”

“Y/N,” the girl repeated. “That’s what he called me?”

She couldn’t stop the sick feeling in her gut, “let’s get you out of here.” She changed the topic, helping the little girl to her feet and to an ambulance.

Y/N smiled at her as she dropped her off with the EMTs, walking off into the woods as quickly as she could. She leaned over, holding her own hair back as she threw up on the ground.

She swatted away at the hand rubbing her back suddenly, continuing to hurl in the bushes as she heard them behind her, shushing her. She wiped her hand on her mouth before she calmed herself down.

She sighed and turned around to see Morgan. His arms were open for her to hug him, she buried her face in his chest as she cried. Not able to fully process all the information she just heard.

“Let’s get you home,” Derek whispered. Escorting her back to the car, she was done for the day.

chapter 22

Valentine’s day had come and gone by the time they finished their most recent case. Landing in Quantico very late on the 16th of February. Everyone departed the plane slowly, half asleep after the 3-hour flight.

“Did you guys miss any plans?” Y/N asked JJ and Emily as they walked together.

“Yeah,” Emily sighed, “I uh, I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Since when?” JJ asked, both her and Y/N suddenly not tired at all. They stopped on the tarmac and stared at her.

“Um, a few months now,” She blushed.

“Was this the sin to win weekend?” Y/N asked softly.

Emily nodded, “what’s sin to win?” JJ asked just as quietly.

“It’s a weekend for gay people in Atlantic City,” Emily replied. “It’s an easy way to mingle in a safe space.”

“Oh,” JJ was shocked. “Oh, so you’re, and you too?” She pointed at both of them as the information was processed.

Y/N and Emily smiled at her and laughed. “Bi? Yes,” Y/N replied.

“I’m still not sure,” Emily added. She sighed deeply, shaking her head as she tried to speak again. “I’ve never really enjoyed male company? It feels more like a performance than a relationship.”

“I mean good for you for noticing that now, if it wasn’t for Spencer I’d be in the same boat,” Y/N smirked at her. “He’s more than just a pretty face.”

“Wow,” JJ was shocked. “I would’ve never known.”

Emily placed her hand on JJ’s back, leading her towards the charter back to headquarters, “oh you poor, poor, heterosexual woman.”

“She has a cat, she cuts her bangs when she’s stressed and she bites her fingernails,” Y/N explained to JJ as they picked their seats. “She likes pussy, JJ.”

Emily smacked her arm lightly, all of them laughing hysterically. The boys walked onto the bus to their cackling, desperately wanting to know what was so funny.

“I was just telling them, I met someone and I’d like for you to all meet her soon,” Emily explained to the rest of the team. “I think you’ll really like her.”

“No way,” Derek smiled, high-fiving her. “Congrats dude, welcome to the dark side.”

“You too?” JJ was shocked. “Okay, put your hand up if you’re a straight person,” she stretched her arm into the air. Hotch and Rossi joined her.

“Really?” Spencer and Y/N looked at each other with excitement.

“What the fuck?” JJ was dumbfounded. “How did I not know this?”

“It just never came up before,” Derek shrugged. “Tell us more about this girlfriend of yours, Prentiss.”

“Or,” Y/N cut in. “you could bring her to Vegas in April.”

“Why?” Emily smirked at her.

“If you’re all free on April 23rd,” She teased them along. “Spencer and I would like you to come to our wedding at my parent’s house.”

“Oh!” JJ and Emily freaked, “holy shit!”

“So, you guys are in?” She laughed.

“Yeah!”

For 2 in the morning, the bus was the most excited they had ever been. And Penelope didn’t even join them on this trip. Normally it was her making this kind of excitement, Y/N basked in the happiness that filled the bus.

They discussed little details on the way to their cars, standing in the garage for a good 15 minutes as they planned the dates they’d need to arrange to have off. Hotch knew he could pull some strings to use everyone’s vacation time for a few days.

They exchanged hugs before breaking apart for the night. Planning to return around noon that same day. Giving them a sweet 9 hours of peace and quiet.

“We still need to invite Penelope,” Spencer whispered when they were halfway home. Interrupting the silence that Y/N was enjoying.

Y/N laughed softly, watching him drive with a smile on his face. “I only told the rest of them because Penelope somehow hacked into my calendar app, to plan a baby shower around my schedule, and saw the plans.”

“Of course,” he nodded along.

“So yeah,” she smiled. “She’s told me that she wants to throw me a baby shower/bachelorette party now.”

“That would be nice,” Spencer agreed, squeezing her thigh where his hand was always glued to her.

“If we even get more time off before the wedding, I’m crossing every appendage on my body in the hopes all the psychos take the day off!” She laughed, twisting her arms and legs in a demonstration.

He laughed, leaning against the wheel as he tried to keep his focus on the road. “I love you.”

“You better!” She teased him.

It went quiet again. She could hear the tires on the sandy slush. The grinding of pressure as the snow compressed into the tire tread. Small rocks being flicked up from the wheels, smacking the underbelly of the car as they approached their house.

She sighed as she saw the place, the beautiful green door illuminated by the porch light. Screaming ‘welcome home!’ As they pulled into the parking spot.

Sleep surprisingly came easier to her the more pregnant she got. She was used to laying on her left side now, she actually preferred it, because it means that every morning when she woke up, the sun came in just perfectly to make Spencer glow.

The alarm on Spencer’s table started to beep letting them know it was 10:30. She softly watched him roll over and smacked the machine before turning back to her and closing his eyes once more.

“No.”

She huffed in a silent laugh, getting closer to kiss the tip of his nose. “Time to wake up,” she whispered between kisses spread across his face.

He was trying his best not to smile as she peppered his skin with kisses. Pushing him onto his back so she had more skin to cover. It had been a while since they did anything together.

Between the cases and the baby, and everything Spencer learned about her past trauma. He’s been a little distant, and it was starting to make her worry. Dr. Korrapati promised that this sudden burst of anxiety was normal at this stage of pregnancy. It was what contributed the most to the nesting phase, but it still scared her.

She wanted to kiss him, to run her hand down his chest and palm over his boxers until she couldn’t take it anymore. So she did, just a little more seductively.

She moaned softly as she kissed the patch of skin under his ear and down his neck softly. She dragged her fingers over his skin, looping around his nipple as she sucked on his neck. She lifted her leg lightly over his, trying to get some friction between her legs as she kissed him.

“We should probably just go to work,” Spencer softly interjected.

She sighed, dropping her forehead against his shoulder and letting her shoulders slouch.

“I’m not broken!” She sat straight up as she yelled at him. “Can I please just fuck my boyfriend? I have been horny for Weeks,” she wasn’t sure where the sudden burst of emotion came from.

“Oh,” he sat up too, resting his hand on her back softly. “I didn’t realize you wanted to after everything, and the baby? You’ve had a rough few months.”

She laughed lightly, “Spence, of course I do?”

She looked at him softly, cupping his jaw in her hand. “I’ve had to process my trauma before. Yes, it’s still bothering me, and yes I have new trauma that I need to address with my therapist. But,” she emphasized. “I am a woman with needs, and one of those needs is getting railed before work by Doctor Reid.”

“You’re one hundred percent sure?” Spencer asked again.

She smiled and nodded, pushing him back down against the pillows. She resumed her last position, putting her leg between his so they could grind lightly and make out. “If it gets to be too much, I’ll ask you to stop.”

“Okay,” Spencer looked up at her, brushing her hair behind her ear as she hovered over him. “I love you.”

“Prove it,” she teased him, leaning in and kissing his neck again.

He reached behind her to grab her ass, she had noticed his hands gravitating there more as she gained pregnancy weight. She wasn’t complaining either, the way his hands felt on her skin was glorious.

He was putty in her hands, tilting his head to the side so she could kiss, lick and suck wherever she so pleased. She reached her free hand into his hair while he other kept her steady, in the perfect spot to grind against his boney hip.

He was all gasps and heavy breaths underneath her, she raised her leg lightly dragging it over his hardening erection before putting herself back in place. Just wanting to see how far along he was.

She rolled onto her back then, laying flat, waiting for him. He pushed his underwear to his ankles as he flipped on top of her. She was nothing but giggles as Her Spencer came out to play.

Opening her legs, she greeted him back into her grasp as he hovered over her. Both hands planted against the pillow as he looked down at her. His hair falling into his eyes, she pushed his hair back behind his ears.

“You might need a haircut soon,” she teased him, biting her lip softly.

“Shhh,” he whispered.

She took his right hand from beside her head, gripping him by the wrist and guiding him towards her mouth. Taking his middle and ring finger in, sucking on the digits softly. Making him release a sound she’s never heard before.

She looped her tongue around his fingers, spreading them lightly as she licked a stripe through them. Feeling his skin against her teeth, which only seemed to excite him more.

She pulled off with a pop, he looked mesmerized by the trail of spit that connected her bottom lip to his wet fingers. “Fuck,” he gasped as his breathing hitched.

“You know where to put them,” she whispered up at him, staring into his eyes as she bit her lip.

He kissed her quickly, pulling her forward so he could get the t-shirt she was still wearing off her body, throwing it off the bed as he kissed her neck, sucking a mark into the skin as he pushed his hand into her panties.

“Jesus,” he whispered against her neck as he felt how wet she was. “You weren’t kidding.”

Making her twitch slightly as he used the two fingers that were just in her mouth, to drag up and down on her clit. Rubbing it back and forth between the two knuckles.

“Fuck,” she breathed out as she gripped his hair. Palming his scalp while he kept kissing her neck.

She could feel him grinding against the bed as he kissed her, moaning against the space under her ear as he quickened his finger movements.

“I need you to fuck me, like yesterday,” she panted against his mouth, licking his bottom lip after.

He pulled away from her then, lifting her hips to drag her panties down. Keeping them on one of her ankles as he gripped the base of his cock and sat on his knees.

The sight between her legs was phenomenal. The glow of the sun on the lake through the windows as Spencer stroked himself in front of her.

Suddenly, he took both of her knees in his hands. Pushing them to her chest slightly before flipping her over. Extending her hips as he held her ass up. Kissing each cheek softly before straightening his posture.

“Ready?” He asked, she wasn’t expecting it.

Her face pressed into the pillow as she tried to find the best position to support herself. Pushing her hips back in a silent yes. He understood her body language, lining himself up with her and slowly pushing in.

She pushed back against him as well, moaning as she took all of him. “Finally,” she sighed, wiggling against his hips.

He gripped her hips, pushing her off abruptly before slamming back in. She was shocked, letting out a gasped moan as he fucked into her. Taking the instructions too literally, railing her.

She had never been that loud before in her life. Concerned Rossi would be able to hear them from across the lake, but it didn’t stop her. Only enticing him to keep it up.

She pressed her face into the pillow more as she attempted to reach her clit. She couldn’t, “fuck, Spence?”

“Yeah?” He slowed.

She took his hand off her hip, “can’t reach.” Her breath was erratic as she tried to explain.

“Aw poor bunny,” he teased her, slowing to a grind as his fingers ghosted over her clit. “Can’t get yourself off anymore?”

“Please daddy?” She let it slip, feeling his cock twitch inside of her as she did.

He leaned forward, kissing her shoulder softly. “Tell daddy what you want, use your big girl words.”

She pushed back against him, raising herself from the pillow to look over her shoulder at him. “I was going to say breed me, daddy.” She teased, watching his entire personality change. “But it looks like you already did.”

He licked his lips, pushing his hair out of his face as he shook his head at her. “You’re going to regret that.”

She pressed her face back into the pillow and perched her ass back more, ever the invitation. He ran his hand softly over her asscheek, slapping it before he started to fuck her again, reaching around to rub her clit, like she asked, ever so nicely.

They found their rhythm then, pushing against each other in just the right way. Between her deep breathing and the moans she released, the only other thing she could only hear was the sound of their skin slapping together as Spencer fucked her harder than ever before.

“Fuck, sweet Jesus I love your cock,” she praised him, punching into the pillow as she pushed herself back into him, on all 4’s now.

Using his free hand, he spread his fingers through her hair. Gripping her at the roots and pulling her head back as he slammed into her.

“Yes, daddy,” Y/N panted as she felt herself get closer to the edge. “Right there.”

“Cum for me bunny,” he instructed her, “let me fill your perfect little cunt.”

She came with a shout, pushing back against him as his words pushed her over the edge. Not being able to ever say no to that man, feeling his hips shake as he tried to fuck her through his own orgasm.

He pulled out, flipping her limp body back over so she could lay on her back, releasing the pressure on her stomach. Legs still spread as he observed his handiwork, scooping it up with his fingers and pushing it back inside of her. Making her clench up at the feeling.

“Spence-“

“Too much?” He smirked down at her.

She nodded, catching her breath as he just sat there. Still, on his knees, cock now soft and resting against his leg. She preached herself up on her forearms, shaking her head at him as she bit her lip.

“Where the fuck did that come from?” She asked him.

“I have no idea,” he laughed. “But hypothetically,” he bit his lip and raised his eyebrow. “I wouldn’t mind revisiting that on a later date.”

She laughed, dropping back against the sheets. “Me either.”

—

She waddled from the car to the elevator. A mixture of pregnancy and over-extending her hips, exercising with Spencer. Lamaze class more specifically, if anyone asked.

“I should really start calling you ducky,” Spencer whispered in the elevator.

“I hate you,” she bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.

“Really?” He teased her, “because if I recall 27 minutes and 15 seconds ago when you were saying ‘fuck, sweet Jesus, I love your cock,’” he whispered into her ear.

The elevator doors opened as her jaw dropped, “notice how I specified which part, Doctor Reid?” She answered abruptly, walking out towards her coworkers.

“So that’s how it’s going to be?” He said as he followed her. Making everyone turn around to see them.

“What’s going on?” Morgan noticed it first.

“Nothing,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Just correcting the genius.”

“On?” Prentiss pried.

“Well this morning she said and I quote-“

“I will cut your balls off and hang them from the mirror in my car,” she snapped, glaring at him as she pointed her finger in his direction.

“Mama’s got claws,” Morgan laughed at them. “Damn.”

Spencer wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek in front of everyone. She turned pink, pretending to be pissed while a smile crept onto her face.

“She loves me,” Spencer smiled, pressing their cheeks together.

“One part, it’s nice to me and doesn’t talk back,” she replied, making everyone laugh as Spencer shook his head.

“Okay, you win,” he put his hands up in surrender as he backed away. Opening the door to the bullpen and disappearing behind his desk.

chapter 23

St. Patrick’s Day was never a holiday that Y/N or Spencer really cared for. Yes, they wore green to work, but other than that they didn’t really see the hype. They were Halloween people.

Will and JJ, on the other hand, went all out.

It was something to do with Will’s love for beer and his frat-boy attitude. Explaining to them that morning in the bullpen that the best parties on his college campus were around St. Patrick’s day and Mardi Gras, making February and March party central in his life.

They walked in with little Henry, decked out in green from head to toe. Green beads around his neck, gold chocolate coins in a basket, and the cutest little shamrock light-up head bopper.

“Look at you!!” Y/N called out to Henry as she walked into the room. Opening her arms up and leaning down to pick him up as he ran into her arms.

“Any Y/N!” Henry called her, not being able to say his T’s yet.

She pressed his tiny cheek against her face as she picked him up and snuggled him against her chest. It was getting harder to pick him up now that she was pregnant but she wasn’t going to miss a Henry snuggle.

“Since when did the FBI consult with leprechauns?” She asked him, booping her nose against him.

“Nooo,” Henry leaned back in her arms, “I’m not a leopard-con,” he tried his best to say the word. Making the team all laugh.

“Well, either way, why’s my favourite little guy here today?”

“Hey?” Spencer complained.

She leaned her elbow into him, “hi unca Spence,” Henry smiled at him. Spencer ran his fingers through Henry’s hair, messing it up under the headband.

“He wanted his godparents to see his outfit before the party at daycare today!” JJ explained with excitement.

Y/N placed him back on his feet, “go on the, show it off!”

He walked around the room, doing a fake model strut as he shook his diapered butt, walking towards the stairs before running back. “Woooow!” Everyone clapped and cheered.

Y/N looked up from Henry’s gaze, seeing Emily in Hotch’s office with a blond woman she didn’t recognize, “what’s going on in there?” She pointed.

“They’ve been in there all morning,” Rossi explained. “I think that’s the girlfriend.”

“How so?” Spencer asked, moving across the room to get a better view through the blinds.

“The way Emily leans against her, hand on her arm like that as she speaks. That’s the same way you and lady boy-wonder act when you’re in there together,” Rossi raised an eyebrow at them.

“Ahh,” Y/N smirked. “I wonder what happened, no one talks to Hotch with the door closed unless they need us to look into something.”

“I’ve gotta go,” Will cut in, scooping Henry up from the carpet with a tight-lipped smile.

“Bye buddy,” Y/N scrunched her nose at him, getting in close to press their noses together. “Have a good day today.”

“Bye, love you,” JJ kissed both her boys and watched them leave the room.

“they’re the best,” Y/N said as she wrapped an arm around JJ.

“Anyone want to go sit and have coffee while we wait for them?” Derek asked prior to a long yawn.

Rossi patted Derek on the back, leading him up the stairs and towards the briefing room. The remaining team members following their lead, discovering fresh donuts and flowers waiting for them.

“A gift for helping in advance, -Noelle” Read the small card on the table.

“Emily’s girlfriend?” JJ pondered, holding the card up and waving it slightly.

“I like her already,” Derek said, kicking his feet back and taking a donut.

Hotch walked in with Emily and Mindy 45 minutes later. Following them was a beautiful blond woman, probably 6’1 even in her flat running shoes. She was wearing cuffed blue skinny jeans and a big Barbie Pink petticoat.

She smiled lightly as she walked in, glueing herself to Emily’s side. “This is Noelle, my partner, Noelle these are my co-workers.”

“Hi!” She waved, “let me guess. Chocolate thunder, Derek Morgan.” She pointed to the nearest person to her.

“Correct,” Derek nodded in her direction.

“You would have to be Penelope Garcia,” she guessed right once again. “Emily was right, your aura is very bright.”

“Oh,” Penelope blushed.

“Y/N and Spencer, she said you’d be basically sitting on top of each other,” making everyone on the team laugh. “JJ, she said you’re like wonder woman, you look more like you could be cast as Super Girl if you ask me.”

JJ blushed, “thank you, Henry would agree.”

“Rossi, I already knew you. I love your books,” she fangirled a little. Something Rossi was incredibly used to.

“Signing hours are from 6-8,” he teased her.

Noelle laughed, her smile wide and toothy. “It’s lovely to meet you all.”

“Noelle has come in today with concerns that local gay men in her circle of friends are going missing. Over the last few holidays, 3 of her friends have disappeared. Dropping all contact after a trip to the bar,” Hotch explained.

“I’m a firefighter,” Noelle explained. “I have a Facebook group of friends who are gay and in the forces in any capacity. Just to let each other know where they’re going, to be safe.”

“Smart system,” Rossi complimented. “But also incredibly easy for someone to pose as trustful to gain access and track them.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Emily’s pressed lip smile portraying just how uncomfortable she was with the situation. “I’ve met our supposed victim number 3. Officer Perry is a great man and we haven’t heard from him since Friday.”

“Where was he going?” Y/N asked.

“He was at the bar with us on Friday for a little, we got a few beers and then he said he was meeting with a guy he met online, he was never big into online dating or even dating in general. He didn’t know how to be an officer and gay at the same time,” Noelle explained the situation fully. “He is one of my best friends, I excused it Saturday when he didn’t call cause I guessed he was having a good time. But when he missed Sunday dinner I knew something was wrong. I begged Emily to let me pitch this to you.”

“I believe you,” Hotch added. “Which is why I’ve asked Mindy Patel from VICAP to join us today.”

Mindy waved, she dressed more like a techie than an agent. Beanie, headphones on her neck and a big black sweater.

“Strauss and I agreed it would be beneficial to have a member of the team solely responsible for going through VICAP coincidences and letting us know. We stumble across too many rare cases thanks to Y/N and Mindy,” Hotch explained. “Mindy Patel is now officially VICAP Liaison. Her office will be across from Garcia’s from now on, she’s going to be our eyes and ears in the missing person world for the time being.”

“I took into account the fact that your friends were all masc for masc, on the police force in some capacity and male obviously,” Mindy explained. “And I found the two men from Valentines Day and New Years, and then more going back every major holiday for the last 2 years as of this St. Patrick’s day.”

“We’ve compiled the data and sent it to Garcia, it’ll be on your tablets shortly,” Hotch confirmed. “I’d like everyone to split up into teams and take an apartment of the most recent 3 victims. Prentiss and Rossi, you get New Years’.”

“Yes sir,” Emily agreed. “Noelle can stay here with Penelope for insight.”

“Yes. Reid, Y/N and Morgan, you’ll take officer Perry’s apartment. It’s the freshest so I need the best eyes.”

“Absolutely,” they replied in unison.

“Myself and JJ are going to the Valentines Day abduction,” check in with Garcia when you need to, fill me in on everything. Good luck.”

—

“Yeah a cop lives here,” Y/N laughed as she searched through the carefully organized home. Combing the place over for the slightest abnormality.

“He definitely wasn’t taken,” Morgan agreed. “He went willingly and never made it home.”

Dust was starting to settle on his possessions. Photos on the wall looked blurry as the sun shined through the windows. It smelled stale, no one had opened the windows in a while and the man who lived here worked out.

His clothing was organized by category. His laundry had 3 separate baskets for darks, lights and colours. Inside his bedside drawers, all his condoms were lined up by type. He was definitely anal about something.

“Guys?” Spencer called from the office.

Morgan and Y/N followed the sound of his voice, seeing him hunched over an iMac. “I moved the mouse and it’s open and unlocked.”

“But you don’t know what to do?” She teased him.

“Yeah,” he blushed. Watching Y/N sit in the desk chair and start looking through his things.

“His Facebook is pretty basic, he checked in at the bar with a photo here of him with Emily and Noelle, and then he went offline. He doesn’t have Twitter or Tumblr logged in, so I’m guessing he doesn’t have that,” Y/N explains as she stalked his activity. “In his history, your male basics. Case research, pornhub, Facebook, Hotmail… hold on.”

She read through all the subjects, all looking pretty normal. “What would a gay man hiding his sex life from his co-workers disguise his emails as?”

“Work-out appointments,” Morgan answered almost too quickly.

‘Workout’ she typed into the search bar. Seeing 15 messages from another man named domworkouts@hotmail.com. “got him, call Garcia.”

“Hey baby girl,” Derek spoke softly as she answered. “We got Jensen Perry’s computer open, his email shows he’s been working out with a domworkouts@hotmail.com.”

“Already working my finger magic,” she teased him. Hanging up before he could say anything back.

“That woman will be the death of me,” he sighed.

“I don’t think we’ll find anything else here, our best bet is with Garcia,” Y/N admitted as she closed all the windows. “Wait,” she pulled up the search and typed in ‘find my iPhone,’ “if he has a Mac he has an iPhone, not many people blend their tech.”

Last ping: 2256 Sheerly Lane, Friday at 23:56.

“I’ll call Hotch while you drive,” Y/N said, pulling out her phone and following the men out the door.

Morgan followed the GPS 15 minutes down the street to an apartment complex. It was worn down and looked as if no one had taken care of it in the last 25 years. “I’m calling Garcia before you go in, I don’t feel good about this.”

“Hey doll,” Garcia’s cheery voice was a nice refresher.

“Hey, do you have any info on who owns and occupies 2256, Sheerly Lane?” Y/N asked softly. “Also send backup to this location, it’s where Perry’s iPhone is apparently and it looks sketchy as hell.”

She heard the clicking of the keys before she heard Garcia’s reply. “Yep, we have 1 occupant. Amy Romano, 46, left the building after her mother died. She’s been living there in room 333 for years, not renting any rooms out at all in the last 3 years.”

“A woman?” Morgan was shocked.

“Must be why we’ve never found the bodies, female serial killers are 90% less likely to ever be caught,” Reid added his fun fact, one she’s heard from him a handful of times before.

“Exactly,” Y/N agreed. “What do we know about her?”

“She’s an interesting one,” Garcia’s tone changed. “Her father was a minister, big bible freak. Her mother was the maid here at the hotel before being given the deed from the original owner’s family. She died in 1988.”

“How much of the religious upbringing rubbed off on her?”

“Enough to make her have multiple psychotic breaks, being diagnosed with schizophrenia when she was 15,” Garcia gained more insight. “Claimed to have been visited by God, and was told sinners are punished by word of god. That one day she would be the one to follow his word for the righteous man.”

“What if she’s doing her own form of conversion therapy?” Y/N gasped. “She’s not killing them. She’s following god’s word and freeing them from their sins. This is the perfect place to keep them. Locking them in rooms away from each other, secluding them and only subjecting them to a female for long periods of time.”

“Garcia, we need back up right now,” Morgan stressed.

“they’re 4 minutes out, good luck in there my babies.”

“See you soon, baby girl.”

Being left out of raids was weird to her, watching Spencer put on a bullet-proof vest and load his gun without her cover made her anxious. Luckily, she got to stand with JJ outside. Watching the building as they listened over their radiofrequency.

“Clear,” Morgan spoke over the system.

“Clear here as well,” Hotch said. “Meet me at the stairwell.”

“I hate this,” Y/N whispered.

JJ ran her hand along Y/N’s back softly, “me too.”

“Floor 3, room 33,” Hotch explained. “I’ll kick in the door, Morgan, you enter first. Spencer and Prentiss, follow our lead.”

Not having a visual was the worst part. There was no way to know where they were or who was there. They worked on sounds, if and when the team decided to speak.

“1, 2, 3,” Morgan whispered before they heard the door smash in. “FBI!”

Then it was silent again, too quiet for anyone’s liking, staring up at the third floor trying to hear everything in the neighbourhood.

“Amy Romano put the gun down!”

“No!” They heard before 4 shots were fired.

Y/N’s heart was in her throat; she couldn’t hear anything going on inside. The officers asked over the radio for updates, hearing nothing in return. Y/N couldn’t stop herself from running towards the apartment buildings before anyone could catch her. Up 3 flights of stairs, drawing her gun and walking towards the room.

Morgan was shot in the arm, down. Prentiss, hiding behind a table with Morgan and Spencer as she tried to stop the bleeding. Hotch in the unsub’s grasp, fighting for a gun.

Hotch noticed Y/N in the doorway. Kicking the unsub down. Y/N wrapped her arm around the unsub’s neck, putting her in a headlock as Hotch attempted to cuff her. She struggled like a wet fish against them, slipping out of her grasp and falling to the floor.

“If God wants to tell me to stop, he’ll tell me himself!” She screamed.

Y/N presses her gun to her head, “he just did.”

“Amy Romano you’re under arrest for the kidnapping of 24 men, attempted murder of a federal agent and resisting arrest,” Hotch explained as he cuffed her.

“Y/N!” Spencer stood up, looking at her like she was the crazy person. “We agreed, 3rd trimester, no fieldwork.”

“You didn’t reply on the radio and suddenly I was here,” Y/N explained, “I’m sorry.”

“We need EMTs, Morgan’s been shot in the arm. The bleeding is under control, just hurry.” Prentiss ordered over the radio.

“Y/L/N is going to need to get checked as well,” Spencer added.

“Why?”

“You ran up three flights of stairs, wrestled an unsub and got elbowed in the side,” Spencer explained, taking her hand and leading her out of the room.

“I’m sorry, I get it now I really do,” Y/N stopped him in the hallway, holding him in her arms. “I don’t like when I can’t see that you’re safe.”

Spencer kissed the top of her head, “I love you.”

“The baby’s kicking,” she replied softly, “that’s good right? 4 movements in 30 minutes after activity is a good thing.”

Spencer laughed, pulling back to feel her belly. “I’m sure he’s all hopped up on adrenaline now, come on let’s get him looked at quickly.”

—

They found 16 of the 24 men alive and in critical condition inside the apartment building. SCSI was canvassing the scene with local cops, taping up the building and surrounding property while the city discussed demolishing the building altogether.

Y/N was able to witness Noelle running into Jensen Perry’s arms, hugging him as they cried in his hospital bed. Y/N could imagine the trauma he was going through, the terror and the fear of something you really don’t want, happening anyway.

“Why do people do terrible things in the name of God?” Y/N whispered towards Spencer, looking up at him with soft eyes. Truly curious.

“The religious system runs similarly to cults, they believe the words are to be followed and thus they will gain entrance to heaven. If there’s one thing humans are afraid of more than dying, it’s internal damnation. Holding the fact that they will suffer in death over their head is a way to get them to do anything.” Spencer explained softly. “With the right person, the wrong message can actually sound like a pretty good thing.”

Y/N let out a deep sigh, “how do you raise a good child in a fucked up world?”

“Matthew, 18; 1 through 5, At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Spencer repeated the bible verse softly. “Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me.”

Y/N smiled, “I like that.”

“He was always supposed to be good, he has you as his mother.”

chapter 24

April rolled around out of nowhere. Suddenly the snow had all melted, the birds were returning, and the trees were starting to bud thanks to the week of thunderstorms.

Love was in the air, both in the wild and in Y/N’s life.

The wedding’s in 2 weeks and she’s growing daily. She wanted to wait till the last possible moment to get her dress. Wanting it to actually fit over her stomach on the big day without any struggle.

Being placed on office duty for the rest of her pregnancy made it easier, not being allowed to leave Mindy and Penelope's side, under direct order from Aaron Hotchner. She was starting to notice that the more pregnant she got, the more the men of the team wanted to protect her as well.

JJ said it was the same for her the first time, all the alpha personalities came out around the third trimester. It was like they didn���t quite register that a woman on the team was pregnant till it was abundantly clear.

The girls had all agreed to go to the dress store with Y/N when they had a free afternoon, but that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon. Y/N ended up going by herself between cases while Spencer was on a flight, trying on 6 different dresses before she found one that made her happy.

The sales associate was being extra nice to her, knowing she had both a big budget and no time. It was an easy sale, but this wasn’t an easy decision.

She tried a sleeveless, skin-tight number on first. Not being able to even move once she got in it, not even bothering to look in the mirror. It wasn’t right, that was for sure.

Eventually, by #5 they had an idea of what she wanted. Long sleeves to hide her stretch marks, it had to be flowy but still show off the bump. And she wanted lace, embroidery even. Something that made it different, something that was more like her. Always growing, changing, adapting.

She was wandering the racks when she saw it.

It was so long, the train had to be at least 6 feet. It was light, made with sheer fabric so it would twist and flow with whatever direction she ran or danced. She could imagine walking through the grass with the train flowing behind her with purpose.

The most wonderful aspect was the long sleeves and the neckline. Cupping her chest perfectly with a nice ribbon right above her bump. The entire dress reminded her of something, the floral embroidery sending her back to a dress she remembers from her childhood, not able to place it but knowing it in her heart.

She looked in the mirror at herself, she felt beautiful. She shook her head lightly as a tear fell down her cheek. “It’s perfect,” she whispered.

The sales associate shook a big bell then, causing everyone to look at her and cheer. “Are you saying yes?” She asked, as cheesy as it was, she loved it.

“Yes!” She cheered back, feeling the love from everyone in the store.

The dress was huge, she laid the bag against her passenger seat and stared at it for a while. It felt a little crazy that she was getting married in a few days, even crazier that she was having a baby in 2 months.

Her phone rang as she started to leave. “Hewwo?” She answered softly, knowing it was Spencer.

“I just got home, where are you?”

“Oh,” she smiled. “Penelope said you guys wouldn’t be back until 9, I went and picked out a dress.”

“Alone?” He sounded sad.

“It was better this way, I picked it for me and no one else,” she reassured him. “I’m on my way home now though baby, I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay, drive safe. I love you,” Spencer replied, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

“Love you too,” she hung up.

She sighed, turning on the stereo and driving home to her favourite albums. Driving alone was different for her now, she used to love just escaping into the Virginia wilderness, picking a road and an album and just going somewhere.

Driving with Spencer meant silence, hand-holding, humming and ha-ing as he discovered new facts that intrigued him. She loved it, the ambiance of Doctor Spencer Reid was not something you could replicate, it was special and calming and wonderful.

She couldn’t wait to get home to him.

He was waiting on the front porch as she rolled into the driveway. Joining her at the car, wanting to help her carry her things inside. “Hi,” she smiled at him as she stepped out.

He pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek softly. “Want some help?”

“If you don’t mind carrying in my dress, I need to pee so bad!” She said, almost about to run inside when he stopped her.

“Like how bad?” He asked.

“Excuse me?”

“If you were to get surprised would you pee your pants?” He tried not to laugh as he asked.

“Spence?”

“Just go in,” he said softly.

She sighed, knowing what this meant. Walking up the stairs slowly, turning the doorknob just as slow. Not ready to have her eardrums blown out.

“Surprise!!”

Sure enough, there were balloons and flowers and her friends gathered all inside her front hall. “Oh my god?”

Penelope wrapped her in a hug first, “your first baby shower has to be special!”

“You guys really didn’t have to do this?” She was so shocked to be getting attention that she felt a little embarrassed.

“We wanted to,” JJ hugged her next, their bumps too big to hug normally, opting for more of a side snuggle. “I got you something to change into before we get started.”

Y/N took the small blue bag from her, kicking her shoes off before they went upstairs. Spencer joining with her wedding dress, hanging it in the closet and slipping back downstairs, unnoticed.

Y/N opened the gift bag on her bed, JJ looked around the room for the first time ever. Looking at the photos of their first day of kindergarten on the wall, the artwork they chose. How Spencer wrote notes to her on the mirror with whiteboard markers.

“You guys are really cute,” she smiled.

“Thanks,” she smiled.

Finally taking the dress out of the bag, it was just something simple. Blue with pink flowers. Something she’d definitely pick out on her own. “This is so beautiful!”

“I got it when I was pregnant with Henry and never had a chance to wear it,” She smiled, “thought that you’d like it more.”

Y/N hugged her, “seriously this is the best thing you guys could’ve done for me!”

“I’m also going to need a pink dress,” JJ said softly in her grasp.

“No?” Y/N was shocked. “Really a mini JJ?”

“Yeah,” she smiled softly. “Hurry up we have more surprises for you downstairs!”

—

It took her longer than she hoped to get changed. The baby was just big enough to make her winded all the time now. Having to stop and take a breather just from taking her pants off. Not to mention the struggle of standing up after peeing.

When she finally made it back down the stairs on her swollen feet, she heard a familiar giggle that she loved very much. “You didn’t?”

JJ smiled, “it was Rossi and Will, they flew them all in and got them here.”

Her parents, brothers and wives were all in the kitchen waiting for her. Then she saw Diana, who was pressed up close to Spencer having a conversation in their own little world.

She walked in and cried, hugging her parents for the first time in 5 months. Showing off her big baby bump and chunky face for the first time too.

“You look amazing!” Her mom complimented her, taking her hand and making her spin slowly.

“Thank you, I feel huge,” she smiled. “I can’t believe you guys are here, I’m literally coming home in 2 weeks!”

“When David Rossi calls you and says he has a jet picking us up, you don’t just say no,” her father laughed, wrapping his arm around Rossi. They were going to be something else together.

She gave Diana a big hug when she could, watching her rub her belly and talk to the baby through her stomach for a good 10 minutes. It was so cute, everyone in the room watched and swooned. Secretly always hoping Spencer’s family got a moment like this.

After dealing with the Riley Jenkins case, and Gideon leaving, they worried for him. They never expected him to just show up one day with a girl and start the rest of his life the way he did. But it just made sense. He sped through school and early adulthood well before Y/N, now they’re moving fast, just together.

They had pizza for dinner, spreading 6 different kinds across the counter and telling everyone to dig in. Y/N took a slice and walked around, mingling with everyone to ensure she thanked them for coming.

“Henry!” She finally found him with Chloe and Lizzie. He ran into her arms, giving her a big hug. “Did you meet my niece?”

“You’re my any?” He questioned her right back.

“Come here Clo,” she called her over, huddling them both in close to her. “You both get to call me aunty Y/N, isn’t that so cool? You’re new friends and you share an aunty!”

Chloe gave her a big hug, she was getting bigger and bigger every day, about to turn 4 in a few months. It felt a little crazy, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“How are you?” She asked her softly.

“I’m good,” she whispered at her, smiling before hiding her face in her dress.

“Are you having fun here? Did you meet buddy yet?”

“No!” Chloe’s face lit up.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” She gasped at them both, getting back up to her feet and walking with them to where Buddy hid in the laundry room.

He was curled into a ball in a basket of towels, peaceful in the quietest room in the house.

Chloe and Henry took turns petting Buddy, kissing his head and playing with his tail, it was good for him to get a little used to grabby kid's hands. She was a little worried about how he’d handle a baby, but he was a chill cat he never really cared about attention as long as he was fed.

Eventually, JJ and Lizzie found them, peeling them away from the cat with the promise of cake while Y/N opened her gifts from everyone.

Everyone was watching her as she sat down in the living room, feeling a little anxious like she had to perform for them or something. Spencer finally joined her on the couch then, wrapping his arm around her in a soothing motion.

“So,” Garcia started. “I took it upon myself to organize the party but I didn’t just stop there, I also emailed everyone a link to a chart where they could pick the category of gift they got you so that we avoided repeats and got everything you would need.”

“This is all so much,” she turned bright pink. “You guys really didn’t have to I feel like I haven’t bought anything for myself since I met Spencer.”

“Nonsense!” Penelope hushed her. “Here, pick whatever one grabs your fancy.”

Y/N’s eyes raked over the pile of gifts, “um that big one over there, why not.”

It was a big blue bag, stuffed to the brim with tissue paper. The card on the handle was signed, she opened it to find 'from; Erin Strauss' on it. “Oh?”

“She couldn’t come but she passed that along on behalf of the section,” Hotch explained.

Y/N didn’t waste any time opening it. Finding brand named everything that she would need for breastfeeding, losing her mind at the never-ending bag.

Almost every gift was the same, all themed and absolutely filled. She was never going to have to buy anything for Matthew, she got it all today.

Hotch and Haley got her a babies bath essentials set. Her parents equipped her with every form of linen she would ever need for a baby, as well as a quilt made just for Matthew.

Penelope bought easily $400 in clothes for him over the past 7 months, with the promise of not stopping any time soon. Derek and Emily got together to buy them an all-terrain stroller, for the walks they expect them to take down the back roads. Emily’s girlfriend even brought a mom after-care set for her.

Diana’s gift made her cry the most, opening the box to find old copies of childhood books. “Those were all Spencers when he was a child,” she explained softly. “His love for the world started with those stories, I would like for Matthew to know them too.”

“Absolutely,” Y/N wiped the tears off her face, leaning over to hug her. “If Matty ends up being even half as wonderful as Spencer I’ll be grateful.”

“Spencer, did you get her anything?” Diana asked him softly as she was still mid embrace with Y/N.

“It’s in the garage,” Spencer smiled.

She looked at him with excitement, “you didn’t!”

“I might have,” he smiled.

“What?” Rossi asked, hating suspense more than anyone on the team.

“I was joking about wanting to get an SUV and become a soccer mom,” Y/N’s whole face lit up. “Did you get me a soccer mom mobile?”

He smiled back at her, “here.”

She held the key in her hand, her car was old as hell. She has had it since she moved to Virginia and even then it was a 2004 model. She had never had a new car, with the fresh car smell and clean everything!

“I am so overwhelmed,” she announced, bouncing a little in her seat as she shook her hands. Stimming just a small amount in front of everyone in all the excitement.

“We’re all done celebrating you now, I think we can start getting out of your hair, right guys?” JJ stood and pressured everyone that wasn’t relying on their house for the night, out the door.

Penelope helped Debbie and Diana clean everything up around the house. Peeling Henry and Chloe away from each other was the most difficult part of the night, becoming fast friends and wanting to look at books all night together in uncle Spencers library.

Rossi offered to let her brother Levi and his wife stay at his place while Diana and Y/N’s parents took the guest room in her home. Harrison and Faith driving back to Fort Meade to their own house.

—

Y/N and Spencer sat up in their bed, leaning against the headboard as they listened to the quiet of their house. Their co-workers were gone, their parents were settled in the guest rooms and most likely still awake from the time difference. The day had been so crazy that she barely had time to wrap her head around it.

“So…” Y/N cut the awkward silence. “Wanna make out?”

He laughed at her, shaking his head. “Remember the last time you asked me to do that?”

“Yeah, I lost my virginity,” she whispered back at him. A little scared that everyone could hear them talking.

“We can't,” Spencer looked at her with wide eyes. “It's bad enough my mother knows I’ve had sex once let alone possibly hearing us.”

He nudged him a little, crawling into his lap and sitting there softly. Her belly pressed against him, filling the space between them as she held his face in her hands.

“They’re on the other side of the house,” she pouted. “Just make out with me?”

He kissed her quickly once, “why are you so needy tonight?”

“All day I’ve had everyone's attention but yours,” she explained softly. “I missed you and I want my Spencer time.”

He couldn’t say no to that, because he felt the exact same way. He ran his hands up her thighs, over her hips and finally resting them on her back. She ran her thumbs over Spencer's cheeks, looking at him softly as she tilted her head to really admire him.

His lips were perfect, his nose was adorable. The way his stubble grew in and darkened his jaw was amazing. His bone structure, his eye colour, the way his hair just fell flawlessly into place with 0 effort. She sighed as she looked at him.

“I love you,” she whispered, biting back a smile as she waited for his response.

“I love you,” he giggled as he looked right back at her. It almost felt more intimate than sex, just staring into each other's eyes in a dimly lit bedroom, in the middle of the night.

She ran her hands up into his hair, combing her fingers through it. He tilted his head back every time, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling. She was about to smile when she got a sharp shooting pain in her hips.

“Oh, my, god,” she breathed out. “Ouch?” She scrunched her face with the pain as the sharpness dulled into the bone, just feeling uncomfortable as she tensed up in his lap. She didn’t even realize she was tugging on his hair in response to the pain.

“What?” Spencer asked, concerned as all hell.

“I think that was Braxton hicks? It was like everything down there just lit up in pain,” she explained with a horrified look on her face.

He ran his hands softly over her hips, soothing the skin in an attempt to help. “Are they bad?”

“It just feels like a pinched nerve at first and then a dull ache, it’s not the worst. I don’t enjoy it that's for sure,” she laughed a little louder. “God, I hope he’s kind to me on the way out.”

“I was doing research into the best drugs and techniques for birth for mothers that don’t want any drugs either because they’re sober or they don’t want to be removed from the moment,” Spencer explained softly. “There are a lot of options if you want to look into them with me this week?”

“Of course you did,” she smiled at him once again, feeling a bit better. “We also have to pack the baby’s go-bag.”

Spencer laughed at the way she phrased it. “Isn’t it just a hospital bag and a diaper bag?”

“No, it’s a mission to have a baby. It’s a go-bag.”

They kept giggling with each other over the dumbest things, staring at smiling as they laughed. Spencer’s hands roamed her back while she poked his face. Happily just talking in each other's space about the most random shit.

It was what she loved the most about him, that they could equally ramble about what they found interesting and the other felt just as excited about learning something new. They had mutual respect for each other's interests and feelings that ran deeper than most, truly loving every word that left their partner's mouth.

By the time they settled against the pillows and attempted to sleep it was half 1 in the morning. They turned all the lights out and still just stared at each other.

She booped his nose softly with her own, watching him scrunch his face as a result before giggling again.

“Do you have any idea what the case tomorrow will be?” She was only asking because she wanted more time with him, needing to find every topic to bring up so that the night never ended.

“Mindy’s pitching something to us tomorrow again,” he whispered. “You’ll be good at this one.”

“Oh I’m excited now okay, goodnight,” she closed her eyes and pretended to snore, making him snuggle in and wrap her arms around him, pulling her in close the way they liked it.

“I love you, bunny,” he said one last time for the night.

She sighed as she settled into him, “I love you more Spence.”

[madswonders]

A Lesson In Romance #10: Thoughts

Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Implied anxiety, Mentions of canon-typical violence

Word Count: 2.5k

Plot: Reader keeps getting caught in rom-com situations with Spencer Reid. This time, they're paired together on a case.

A/N: I know that the BAU's conference room has big-ass glass windows but just imagine that the blinds are closed for the entirety of this chapter aha. Also this chapter is a doozy... like 1k words longer than usual, so enjoy!

Masterlist | All chapters here!

---------

As Peter Gizzi once described the phenomena of love, "About you there is nothing I wouldn’t want to know / With you nothing is simple yet nothing is simpler."

In high school, your reputation always preceded you. The cynic that never had a boyfriend, much less a drunken one-night stand; a prude who waited over ten dates to have her first kiss; or the "ice queen" who kept her emotions locked up and threw away the key.

If they saw you now, you wondered if they would laugh at how you've changed; because these days, you looked like you were keeping the best secret in the world, one that threatened to burst from your lips every time you smiled.

What you didn’t know, is that you didn't need to be a profiler to see it. From the bubbling laughter and whispered conversations, to the not-so-secret longing glances. You and Spencer disappeared into your own world when you were together, and everybody knew it.

And for the first few weeks, that was enough. You found it easier than usual to ignore the thoughts that lurked in the back of your mind. That is, until you couldn't.

"... I want you and Spencer to work on the geographic profile." Hotch had announced, and you remembered the feeling of your blood running cold.

There were two reasons for this. First was the fact that this case linked twenty homicides across three years to a single unsub. If there was any case that required the two nerdiest members of the BAU to team up, this was it.

Unfortunately, that fact was closely followed by an overwhelming fear — and you wanted to preface this by saying that you were usually a woman of logic and science — but, somehow, you couldn't shake the thought that something bad was going to happen to you and Spencer, and you weren't ready for it.

Leaning against the cool conference room wall, you tapped your toes in an impatient rhythm against the carpeted floor. You were trying to recite what you learned from your PhD; that your mind was jumping to conclusions and that it was normal to be nervous. It was normal to feel this way. You were normal.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked, jolting you out of your mantra.

You realised your boyfriend had been talking to you for awhile now, but clearly, you weren't listening. You shook your head apologetically.

"Sorry, I was just thinking. Could you say that again?"

"I was just saying, you can start by pinning the names and locations of the victims, and I'll put up the crime scene photos... but are you sure you're okay?" He asked again, this time shooting you those puppy dog eyes that made you weak.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Let's get to work." You said firmly, grabbing the box of push pins. You felt his gaze linger on you for a second, before he began picking up his own stack of pictures.

The first hour sped by quickly as you and Spencer listed out all of the unsub’s possible motives and next victims. At the half hour mark, Hotch dropped in to check on your progress, bringing takeaway coffee and leaving with a rare smile.

At the second hour, the rest of the team returned with some new leads, and unfortunately, new bodies, but nothing that helped solidify the profile any further than what you already had.

At the fifth hour, there was no denying it. The team had hit a wall. While the rest of them were back in the field investigating more leads, you sipped on your second cup of coffee while staring at the evidence board. Spencer paced the room behind you.

"The messy dump sites. The carvings onto the victims' chests. One points to the unsub being disorganised and inexperienced, but the other is a clear, almost narcissistic ritual." The doctor thought aloud.

"Usually that means the unsub is trying to make a statement, but he killed his first ten victims before the police found out, then killed another seven and three right under their noses before going dormant. If he wanted to make a statement, why wouldn't he tip off the police or media sooner?" He grumbled.

"Are we sure it's not a taunt to the local police’s competency? Many of his first victims were found in secluded areas with limited police support." You pointed out, tapping the edge of your cup in thought.

"No, the victimology and locations are too wide spread. A taunt would present a clearer message." He said.

You turned around suddenly, causing him to halt in his steps. "Here's something completely off the wall — but what if the unsub was trying to achieve a specific pattern with his kills?" You said, gesturing with your cup.

Tap, tap-tap, tap, you created the rhythm with your finger.

"That would explain why he isn't acting like a narcissist. Maybe he's suffering a mental condition that compels him to complete a certain pattern, and subsequently, ritual with his kills. Could be rhythmical, musical, numerical..." You explained.

"Numerical. That's it!" Spencer squeaked, rushing to the board with a marker. "I thought these numbers seemed familiar earlier, that's because they make up prime numbers!"

He backed away from the board to reveal what he wrote. The numbers 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11. A lightbulb turned on in your head.

"2, 3 and 5 make up the first ten kills. 7 is the next, which he managed to complete perfectly, but something happened to the unsub at 11." Spencer voiced your thoughts.

"He might have been incarcerated, or injured. But we can't rule out the possibility that he might have moved out of town and resumed the pattern elsewhere. So either we can expect 8 more victims here, or the unsub has already moved onto the next number: 13." You quickly finished the train of thought.

"Love, you're a genius!" Spencer rushed over to pick you up by the waist, twirling you as you laughed in relief. But the relief turned to surprise when he kissed you deeply.

God, he was good at this. Even when your feet touched the ground, it felt like you were seeing stars. Though it was only when your lips parted that he had the decency to blush.

"Love?" You breathed.

Spencer's cheeks turned crimson in embarrassment, but he didn't back away. Instead, he leaned forward, bumping your foreheads together gently.

"I didn't know you had that in you, doctor." You teased.

"Well, my mother did school me in classic romance literature from a young age. Not to mention, I happen to be a genius at most things..." You could hear the smile in his voice, and you giggled.

The doctor pulled away then, an adoring smile still plastered across his face. "Are you fee—" He began, but his voice died in his throat as his gaze fixated on something behind you.

"Ooooh, am I interrupting something?" You turned around to see none other than Penelope smiling coyly from the doorway, and the two of you jumped apart.

"N-no, nothing!" Spencer blurted out.

"All fine and dandy here." You added on, blushing furiously.

The tech analyst smiled deviously. "Well, I thought I'd come and check on my two favourite lovebirds. Anything else from the case for me to chew on? Except whatever that was earlier." She teased.

"Actually, there is." You cleared your throat awkwardly, while the good doctor looked like he wanted to melt into the carpet.

"We need you to search up murders in neighbouring cities that match the mutilation by our unsub, then cross-reference the time frame with any new residents. We suspect he might be trying to complete a pattern, and that he may have done it somewhere other than here." You said.

"On it, future-Mrs-Genius. I will get back to you so fast that you won't even have time to get down and dirty." She half-yelled that last bit, heels clicking as she walked back to her office. Before you could even formulate a response, she was gone.

You felt your boyfriend wrap his arms around you from the back. "Now, where were we?" He whispered.

You giggled, leaning back into the doctor's chest while he rocked your bodies side to side. "Are you feeling better now?" He asked.

"Next time someone says it's not as intense in here as it is out there, I'm going to give them a stern talking to." You joked.

"You know what I mean, love." Spencer reiterated gently, the pet name falling from his lips like it was the most natural thing in the world. "If you tell me about it, I can help you. You know I'm always here for you."

You sighed softly, blinking back tears that threatened to spill.

"It's something stupid. I-I'm fine."

He turned you around, brows furrowing in concern when a tear rolled down your cheek. "What's wrong?" He asked, wiping it away tenderly.

"I— I was worried about us working together." You admitted. "And it's not because I don't like working with you, but I just— I just couldn't—"

"Take a deep breath, love. Slowly." He held your shoulders as you breathed in and out, once, twice.

"I've been afraid this whole day — no, for awhile now — that something was going to happen to our relationship." You confessed shakily. "And it's not about our jobs — although I worry about that too — but I'm scared that one day you'll wake up and realise that I'm not worth the trouble."

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop the next wave of tears.

"A-and it's only gotten worse because I've never been so h-happy with another person before. Only you've made me feel this way, and I'm t-terrified that I'll lose what we have."

There was a brief silence as Spencer pulled you close to his chest, one hand stroking your hair carefully. You could hear his heart beating fast.

"Do you remember when the team tricked us into sharing a bed?" He whispered, a hint of a smile trickling into his voice. "I think about it every single time we're about to go into the field. Because you said you'd never leave me, and now, whenever we're out there, I know I'm not alone."

He breathed in deeply, your head gently rising and falling together with his chest.

"You've given me someone to come home to, love. What we have, you'll never lose it, okay?" He whispered.

"Baby, I—" Your voice halted. Crap.

"Wait. Baby?" Spencer repeated back to you, a teasing lilt in his voice. Your face flushed, and you unwinded your arms from your boyfriend to cover your face.

"Oh god, can we pretend that didn't just happen?"

"I have an eidetic memory." He pointed out. You let out a watery laugh, knowing when you had lost.

"Alright, alright. But I do have another ide—"

Then, the conference room phone rang. It was Emily. "Hey guys, Garcia managed to narrow down the unsub and we're 10 out, but we'll need some back-up."

"Be there in 15." You replied, while Spencer shot you an amused look, Luckily, he waited for the call to end before saying the next words.

"Let's go, baby." He wiggled his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes and laughed, already strapping on your kevlar. "That's it. You're not driving."

"Aww!"

---------

After the major breakthrough in the case — all thanks to Nerd 1 and Nerd 2, as Derek fondly called the two of you — the case managed to wrap up neatly and the BAU found themselves in a rare position. Ready to end the work day, on time.

Not that anybody was packing up to leave just yet, although you wished they would, because Penelope had decided to start enthusiastically retelling how she found the BAU's resident lovebirds in the conference room, unable to keep their hands off each other.

"Last I heard, pet names aren't a crime — and how long were you standing there anyway?" You accused, blushing.

"Firstly, they are. Criminally cute, that is!" Penelope squealed, while the rest were in fits of laughter. "And secondly, you should never underestimate my awesome ninja abilities, because I heard everything that I needed to hear."

"Do I even want to know?" Spencers winced.

"I don't think you do, pretty boy." Derek laughed, clapping the genius on the back.

"Wait, wait, wait. Can we go back to how Spencer's pet name of choice is love?" Emily gasped in laughter.

"You've got to admit it's kind of cute, Emily." JJ smiled.

"Sure. If you're courting Mr. Darcy and attending cotillions."

"C'mon, Prentiss. All that means is that our boy's got style." Derek added to laughter, while Spencer whined in protest.

The door to Hotch's office opened suddenly, both him and Rossi stepping out with expressions of urgency on their faces.

“Sorry to break up the fun, kiddos. But there's been an update to the case.” Rossi announced, following right behind Hotch to the conference room.

The laughs were wiped off everybody's faces as you traded concerned looks. As you filed into the room, Hotch had already begun speaking.

“Another body was found half an hour ago. Same MO, same random victimology, and same kind of dumpsite. And the unsub just told us where to find his copycat.”

“Wait, we never profiled a second unsub.” Derek interjected.

"It doesn't makes sense — the first unsub is a control freak. He didn't like the idea of anybody messing with his sequence. Wouldn't he have done something if he knew somebody else was copying his pattern?" You asked.

"We profiled that he wouldn't be able to deviate from his pattern. What if he had to continue, even when somebody else was committing some of the crimes for him?" Spencer countered.

“Hold on, you said the unsub gave us a location?” Emily asked.

"And a time." Rossi voiced up. “8pm tonight at The Basil. The first unsub claims that's where the copycat finds his next targets."

"How do we know if we can trust him?" Derek asked.

"We don't. But he didn't display any telltale signs of doubt when he told us, and this is the only lead we have." Hotch's frown deepened. You had a feeling he didn't like the idea of this either, but the team didn't have a choice.

"Okay, if we're doing this, he can't know we're onto him," Emily thought aloud, "and we'll need precautions in case it's a trap. That means..."

"Undercover agents... and the bait." Hotch said with finality.

“And who did you have in mind for that?” You piped up, and everyone turned their eyes to you.

“You and Reid.” He stated the obvious.

“B-b-but, I’ve never gone—"

“You’ve more than proven your abilities in the field since you joined us, and having natural chemistry will make it less suspicious to the unsub.”

You opened your mouth, but no words fell from it. Hotch was right. Of course he was right.

As if hearing your thoughts, Spencer took your hand in his and squeezed, and you felt a little calmer already. “Ok, I’ll do it.” You said determinedly, while the doctor echoed your sentiment.

Hotch nodded, beginning to assign roles to the rest of the team while you squeezed your boyfriend's hand tighter, a new mantra forming in your head.

Everything is going to be okay. Everything will be okay.

----------

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