#and also the change in the beige LMAO | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

valorkook · 2 years ago

Text

Milestones | j.jk

pairings: jeon jungkook x genderneutral!reader

type/warning: hospital!AU, doctor!jungkook, nurse!reader, romance, some fluff and angst on the side, tsundere!jungkook (cold, temperamental character), enemies-to-lovers trope, inaccurate depiction of hospital work environment, kind of inspired from Koi wa Tsuzuku yo Dokomademo and from my dreams lmao

word count: 6.5 k

summary: After you were transferred into a different hospital department, you’re still getting used to the two things that bothered you in the first place upon arrival; the scream and the cries the children would make when a nurse, like you, is approaching them every time. . . as well as the annoying yet handsome doctor who never fails to test your limits since day one, but you are not the kind of person that easily backs down from these new challenges. You convinced yourself that you’re headstrong, but does your heart lie on the same page as your mind?

prologue | part one | part 2

The jitters you began to develop while on your way to work today haven’t cease despite the amounts of deep breaths you took so early in the morning. The sun was only beginning to come up by the time you picked up your first cup of coffee in the nearby café, located less than a block away from the main building of the Severance Hospital, and yet it did nothing but increase the nervousness within you tenfold. The last time you remember feeling like this was when you were starting your first rotation as a licensed nurse, fresh from nursing school and was yet to hone the skills necessary in real-life work.

What one of your professors had told you was the truth; you ought to throw the things you learned in textbooks out of the window by the start of practicing your profession within the hospital setting.

And you were throwing every bit of studying you did last weekend, gone was your ability to recall the videos online that were supposedly helpful to refresh your memory regarding pediatric nursing as you embark on the same stairs you climb every morning. Except you’re about to take 30 steps more than usual, and you only got a second glimpse of the grand doors of the maternity unit then taking a turn left to do 15 steps more before landing on the third floor of the hospital. The whole floor housing the pediatric unit.

Gone are the usual beige walls that covered the majority of the hospital’s interior when you stepped into the main hallway of the your new ward. Instead of the aforementioned color, the walls on both of your sides were now covered with more than just one pigment. Animated fishes of different varieties were painted atop the waves that went on and on until the end of the corridor. It’s like visiting a marine park in Seoul where aquarium windows reach from floor to ceiling, though the fishes are unmoving.

You took a sip from your cup hastily when you arrived in the nurses’ locker room, where you’re about to change into scrubs but you left your tongue burning in the process. The usual pink and white patterned uniform was not present in your designated locker and was replaced with a colorful, confetti-like patterned top and plain navy pants to match the background of your scrub shirt.

It was awful, you internally groaned as you grabbed it out from its hanger.

The time was 6:20 AM when you stepped out of the changing room, and most of the crowd that filled the quarters reduced to merely two people which made you panic a little. Compared to the former ward you worked from, it wasn’t until quarter to seven that you’re about to start knowing the patients you will have for the day based on the hand-off report from the previous nurse in shift. But now, not only you were lost in place, but also lost in time and orientation.

This was not what you discussed yesterday over the phone with Ms. Jung, the head nurse of this pediatric unit. In reality, the conversation you had with her did not even reach this topic; the unspoken rules that only exist exclusively in this ward.

You brushed off any stray hairs that lingered in front of your sight before you gulped down the rest of your coffee—which is still quite hot, by the way—and zoomed out of the room and towards the back doors of the nurses’ station.

“Oh, here’s our new addition to this ward!” a person who wears the same scrubs as yours, presumably a nurse like you, called the attention of those who are within the spacious station. The walls were painted a light blue tone, with no patterns that matched the design of the walls of the corridor. The main oval table in the middle of the station was filled with amounts of files and papers stacked and clipped into binders for each patient that is currently confined in the ward. Little to no pens did not litter the surface at all, as those can be found in the clutch of other healthcare staff or safe within the deep pockets stitched into their uniforms.

After scanning briefly the area for no more than seven seconds, you turned your body towards where the sound of the voice came from. At one of the corners of the station, where the computers are located at the table below the receiving counters, stood a man in front of it. No doubt another nurse as he adorns the same uniform, but your eyes were mesmerized at how he fits the scrubs.

Like he was built to become a pediatric nurse in the first place.

“Ms. Jung is currently busy at the back room.” he pointed behind him, not far off was a room separated by a blue curtain beside another entrance into the station. You noticed from his statement that he is not from the night shift but rather someone who will be joining you today. Hopefully, because you still feel like a lost kid at a grocery store.

He smiled, the whites of his eyes are nearly unrecognizable with the way it mimicked the curve of his lips, “I’m given the opportunity to guide you shortly before we start our rounds. Hello, I am Jimin, and welcome to the Pediatric ward!”

Jimin’s smile was infectious as your lips curved into a small smile, “Thank you for the greetings, I am _____.”

Your interaction with him somewhat gained a few audiences in the station, most of them started to assess your presence as the new nurse in the unit. Out of all the schedules of shifts you were allowed to choose, you rather chose the morning shift as your body clock was accustomed to waking up early.

But you don’t know that deep within the thoughts of others, especially those who are about to start the hand-off report to the next nurses in shift that will accompany you today, that you were brave to choose the hectic mornings that you will have from here on end.

Not far from the station, some footsteps began to trudge their way through the still empty hallways of the pediatric ward. While you were oriented by nurse Jimin with the location of different instruments used and restocked in the medical carts, the other nurses were starting to exchange information before the shift officially starts, before the doctors officially made their presence known in the station, waiting for nurses to instantly report the progress of each of their patient’s health and well-being.

The increased number of pediatric patients since last year was done with the strict routine that a doctor has applied on his team of healthcare professionals. With the emphasis on the word professionals, he meant that those who have gained their license to practice healthcare and can easily understand the instructions he would dictate without another repetition. He’s the kind of doctor who is passionate about treating each of his patients but refuses to show even a drop of empathy towards his team.

That is admirable, so to say. To see a doctor who’s not slacking off and is concerned with the individual needs of his patients, especially since his clients are children spanning from days old to weeks, up until to those teenagers who are a day away from turning 18. Yes, they’re still placed within the pediatric ward if they are even hours away from their 18th birthday. It’s hospital policy.

“Over there are computer carts, though there’s only four as we’re still in the phase of turning from paper documents to electronic medical records.” Jimin explained the situation on the large table in the center,

“Though there is one doctor who prefers the use of those computer carts, so you have to learn it within this day. I’ll—” he stopped to duck under the built-in table, beneath the computers installed on the station desks where you peek down to find pocketbooks lined up, “Here are the manuals, and I’d really love to show you how they work but I’ll have to receive my shift hand-offs right now before they come.” The orientation for you came to a halt when he mouthed you an apology, pointing at Ms. Jung who seemed to be unoccupied with any work at the moment.

The curtains have been drawn open by the time you meet head nurse Jung, who greeted you with a warm smile, “My apologies, I have been busy filing necessary papers but now I can continue where we—or you and Jimin left off.”

“Oh, he was about to show me how the computer attached to those carts works.” you keened, showing a manual on your grip as you begin to flip the pages.

“They nearly have the same user interface as what we use within the ward, but it gets kind of tricky to link the data input into the devices in this station. Come with me and I’ll show you how it works.” Ms. Jung was quick to approach the carts while you made a segue to throw your empty cup into the appropriate trash bin.

Though while booting up the computer, instead of focusing your mind towards the instructions shown on the pocketbook, you were rather distracted by the footsteps that approached you. Or the station, for that matter.

“Good morning Dr. Jeon!” Ms. Jung called for the tall man wearing a doctor’s typical white coat, his side profile was what attracted your sight to him instead of the bright light emitting from the screen of the computer beside you and your head nurse. Finally, he turned his head towards yours when you saw him completely.

God, he looks too young to be a doctor expert in his chosen specialty. There were nearly no blemishes that covered his face, no evidence of what struggles and stress he had faced during his internship. In fact, his youthful face, accentuated by the shape, seems like those who are about to start their residency. Fresh from med school, all-knowing kind of doctor.

Ms. Jung sensed that you two were focused on each other when she continues to speak, “This is our n--”

With one glance at your ID pinned at the side of your scrubs, he finally talked in a monotonous tone, “You, nurse _____. Let’s start the rounds.”

Both you and Ms. Jung were dumbfounded from his statement, though it didn’t last a minute and she started to convince him to give you time to adjust into this new atmosphere, “But doctor, I was about to orient them with how things run in the morning. Catered to what every other nurse this shift is accustomed to,” somehow, her words were lacking information. What routine do nurses have in this unit? Does it differ from what you’re used to?

He only cleared his throat, “I presumed they came from another unit, yes?” the head nurse confirmed immediately, “then they knew what they’re doing in this hospital. Choose a cart and let’s go.”

You stammered, “I-I, uh…” you hesitantly grabbed onto the bar of the cart, keeping the pocketbook inside one of its free compartments before catching up to the hasty doctor who’s leading the way down the corridor.

Back in the station, another nurse named Seulgi caught the sudden interaction between you and him near the entrance of the station, a wave of goosebumps appeared on her body as she gathering her mint green clipboard filled with the hand-off reports she was supposed to relay to you before Doctor Jeon arrived. She didn’t expect that he would be strutting earlier than his expected time.

She ran off of her seat in front of the computer, hoping to catch you and him still in the corridors before you enter a patient’s room.

If you were to describe Dr. Jeon in one word, it would be cold. . . or cold-looking, if that’s even a word that any online dictionaries would confirm. One look at his face would tell you that he’s serious, like he hasn't had a cup of coffee nor a bun of bread to eat this morning. He doesn’t participate in any chit-chat much like the other doctors in this hospital. Most of the doctors you interact with are pleasant to participate in little talks, whether it concerns the patient’s health or simply about your personal life. Though with him, it was hard to initiate conversation at first glance.

You can see from the stitch embroidered above the chest pocket of his white coat, displaying his full name as Jeon Jungkook, MD. Weirdly for you, it sounds familiar.

Is he the most known doctor in this hospital? Is he the one responsible for the influx of--

“I suggest you stop daydreaming and start assessing the vitals of patient 325.” Jungkook, or Dr. Jeon rebuked. His left arm was still holding the door wide open for you and your cart to go inside. He’s only demanding for vitals yet he made you push the trolley from the station.

Thankfully, your routine of putting your handheld equipment in the pockets of your scrub and hanging the stethoscope over your neck made it easier for you this moment from embarrassing yourself. Placing the cart onto the side of the room, you approached the patient who seemed to be coiling himself in the arms of his mother. Seemingly scared to see a new face.

The tone of your voice shifts to a gentle one as you show the kid what you have in your pockets. Regretful to only pack 3 mint candies for you to consume later on, instead of buying any lollipops to give. While you were busy tending to the child, Dr. Jeon was already conversing with what you assumed to be the father of the child at the couch next to the bed. The mother joins soon after.

“Schedule another blood count for the patient later, I want the results by tomorrow so the family can prepare themselves for discharge. And--” he paused, seeing you only using a tickler and a pen, “why are you not inputting my orders into the computer?”

“I’ll attempt to encode it soon,” you tried to reason

“Don’t you know how computers work?” he disputed, right in front of the family of the patient. You feel embarrassed, like someone poured a bucket full of cold water over your body yet all you could feel was tears threatening to spill from your eyes at that moment.

It was an unnecessary outburst that he exhibited, much less in front of his patient as you blinked once, twice before you bowed yourself in front of the patient before leaving the room, dragging the cart from behind as you pulled the door open. A flustered Seulgi was waiting just outside the door when you stepped out.

“I should’ve approached you since you entered the station earlier, I didn’t know he would be choosing you to accompany him so quickly.” She managed to tell you, slightly out of breath from running after you, “I’m Seulgi by the way.”

You cleared your throat before replying, “I’m _____. Can you try to catch me up with the reports? As well as this one,” you gestured to the cart you’re still holding. Seulgi was quick to nod, immediately opening her mouth and pointing to and from the monitor prior to reporting the patients you will be handling today.

“You weren’t supposed to be accompanying Dr. Jeon during the rounds this morning, I thought they were still Dr. Park’s patient and yet she hadn't shown up in the station earlier.” she explained.

A tsked from behind startled you and her, “I am pretty sure I had informed our head nurse Ms. Jung about that,” Dr. Jeon said in a matter-of-fact tone, “I never knew the experienced nurse who entered our unit is apparently not equipped enough in what we’re dealing with here.”

You took a deep breath before responding calmly, “With all due respect, I believe that I am perfectly capable to handle the workflow in this ward Dr. Jeon. If only you allowed me a little time to be oriented with the equipment you used here.” you gestured to the cart, “I am fine with being scolded for my wrongdoings, but doing that in front of the patient looks unprofessional on our part. Especially yours, doctor.” you continued, seeing his facial expression falter for a second, then disappearing as if he’s not guilty of what has occurred. First day of your work in this ward and you’re already looking forward to going home, and perhaps going back to the maternity ward sooner than you planned.

No way you’re letting anyone, much less a doctor, undervalue your skills that you developed over time. “You should know the demands of every patient prior to arriving in this unit, nurse _____. We suffer from the shortages due to incompetence from our former staff and I don’t want you to become a deadweight for us, tarnishing the reputation we built as well as the lives we’ve saved.” he huffed, his eyes glaring at yours for a few seconds.

“I won’t be a deadweight, I can assure you that.” you vowed, tightening your grip over the trolley.

“Or you won’t last another day.” he added to your statement, then he turned around and proceeded to walk away from where you and Seulgi were still standing. She only cheered you in a whispered tone, as excessive noise is prohibited in the hallways, before she trudged back to the station.

You went off to follow the footsteps of the doctor in front of you, being aware of what you’re about to prepare for the next patient. You believed that he’s doing rounds according to the chronological order of his patients’ rooms, and so you flipped over the paper of the next patient.

During the course of the rounds, there was tension between you and him. Though you were able to answer the questions he threw at you, he was still hostile with you. Maybe he’s like that with everyone except his patients. Head nurse Jung managed to see you from afar, walking a few feet apart from Dr. Jeon as you recognized the guilt and the pending apology she would give you through her eyes.

Truth to be told, Ms. Jung knew how ruthless Dr. Jeon can be. It was a mistake on her part to not check her emails from time to time as she missed the email from Dr. Park sent yesterday about how she would be taking a day off, never knowing that he would be the one to treat her patients in her behalf today.

By the time head nurse Jung was finished explaining the reason you were too early to face the most demanding doctor in their unit, he was long gone from the station. Finding no purpose to stay as Dr. Jeon already managed to see you inputting the data, which means it would appear right on his laptop when he comes back to his office.

“You see how he’s like a phantom lurking around until he makes his presence known when you make a mistake.” Nurse Jimin teased while you and him were on a short lunch break, “though I applaud you for standing up to him, other nurses around here gossiped at how he was the reason for the staff shortages we’re experiencing in this ward.”

You tilt your head in question, “Why would he be?”

“Some of us here are kind of afraid of him, you see how he’s gentle with his patients and their relatives yet he treats others terribly, like how he was earlier with you.”

“How did you know---”

“Word travels fast, I guess.” he chuckled before taking a bite from his lunch. With a mouthful of food, he still replied, “Seulgi heard the commotion, the doors here can only muffle sounds but we can recognize his voice whenever Jungkook is aggravated.”

“Are you close to him?” you asked.

“Yeah, we attended the same nursing school.” Jimin casually replied.

You gasped, “wait, he’s also a nurse?”

“Yep, that is why he can criticize our work from time to time. Though he applied for medical school right after we got our license.” Jimin was quick on consuming his meal, now already packing his lunch boxes splayed onto the small coffee table in the lounge room tucked behind the station.

No more than a minute and he spoke, “It was nice talking with you, _____!” and waved his hand goodbye before he was off to continue his tasks before his shift ended. Which leaves you alone to yourself, perhaps with some other nurses whom you had yet to meet or introduce yourself personally.

The awkward atmosphere after Jimin left returns. And now you attempt to consume the rest of your packed lunch so you can start medical administrations towards your patient. You recalled earlier at how head nurse Jung would make the effort, insisting you to let her assign you to other patients that are not handled by Dr. Jeon, but you kindly declined since you are becoming accustomed to the needs of those patients. Not mentioning how you are determined to prove him wrong by successfully doing the tasks delegated to you, as well as adding your own insights that may be helpful in determining the prognosis of every patient assigned to you and him.

The empathetic side of you was quick to forgive his actions earlier, call it the attitude that you essentially developed back in nursing school. You never once doubted your ability when you started working in this hospital, and your evaluation forms from your former head nurse can prove that. As head nurse Jung has told you, you were still about to learn the difference of workflow that you established back in the maternity ward with what you’re currently grasping in their unit. You were never meant to work with him on your first day here, perhaps on day three with what she has scheduled for you and the other nurses in the morning shift.

You were glad to have Jimin and Seulgi, though she was long gone when you finished your rounds with Dr. Jeon. . . and the fact that she’s quite the blabbermouth with what has transpired between you and him travelled so quickly, from one mouth and ear to another.

The rest of your shift was peaceful, to say the least. You guessed that Dr. Jeon won’t drop by until later after your work so you were busy compiling documents needed to be printed and filed according to the patient’s medical information, as well as making discharge plans with other patients that are bound to be leaving the hospital the next day. Your hands were aching to a point where you keep shaking them from the pain that radiates through your fingertips, and time seemed to pass by when you saw that it was already 15 minutes since the end of your shift.

Most of the nurses you recognize earlier in the morning, including Jimin, are nowhere to be found at this time. They must’ve given their hand-off reports earlier before the time struck 14:00. While you were busy, you were beginning to proceed with your own reports towards the next nurse in shift.

“It’s your first day and you’re handling Dr. Jeon’s behavior,” nurse Nari, the one who’s about to take over your patients in the afternoon till evening, mused. “How was he?”

“Tolerable” you mumble, afraid that he might hear you even though he was still not in the nurses’ station.

She laughed only in return, “Oh he was intolerable for me on my first day here, but soon enough he softened up to me.”

You raised your brows, “Are you and him. . ?”

Nari shifted to full-on giggling, “No! But maybe someday when he’s ready to start his love life, I might do a little flirting here and there. For now, he’s focused on being a doctor full-time; he never bothered to go out on dates and he’s always found in his office at any time of the day.”

You hummed with the information she has revealed to you, though at first you couldn’t care less about the little deets about his personal life. Silence lingers for a bit before you continue to wrap up your work for today, “It was nice talking to you, Nari.”

“You too, _____.” She smiled before waving you goodbye as you were off to find head nurse Jung, itching to go back home in the apartment you are renting two blocks away from Severance hospital.

A week has passed since you started to continue your nursing practice in the pediatric ward. So far, you have set up a routine you follow religiously that enables you to finish all of your work on time. Though there are still a few things that you’re still getting used to,

The first is children who cry when you’re just about to give them syrup medications daily, and the second is the most demanding doctor that ever existed in this ward. . . or rather in this hospital. Although you cannot make a concise statement when you haven’t attempted to transfer to other facilities in this institution other than the maternity and pediatric unit.

There are moments where you see him in a good light; Dr. Jeon Jungkook’s attempt to give a small smile to other staff (or in this case it was just the head nurse and Jimin) and only hummed whenever you give your suggestions pertaining to the well-being of the patients you two were handling every day. Oftentimes you see him in a bad light; a short-tempered doctor who’s trying hard to tolerate other nurses’ attempts at providing a satisfactory result that reaches his criteria or whatever standard he has curated on his own and for the others to follow.

You haven’t had the time to figure out what kind of level he expects others to reach, considering that you were not always assigned to him. With the way the head nurse mixes up the assignments so you could take a breather from him, and for every nurse to ensure the quality of their work is up to what he wants in this unit. You see, you were late to find out that he’s newly appointed head of the pediatric department by the time you entered the ward last week, which only means that the internal pressure he has clearly elevated to satisfy not only the patients but also the administration of the hospital.

Gossips inside the ward would say that he’s working much harder than every other doctor in this institution to chase one thing, and that is to become the medical director of this whole institution. He has no time to create a network of influential people when his name alone can create a buzz in this place, no matter what department or ward you’re currently in.

A loud clang of what you assumed are clipboards surrounded the ward so suddenly, snapping your focus from what you were currently typing on the computer when you hear the hushed scolding coming from the nook of the station. With the days you spent recognizing others’ faces and voices, you ought to know that Dr. Jeon was hot-headed today and he’s tormenting yet another staff member late in the morning.

It was a miracle that he was not popping blood vessels when he has a hard time controlling his emotions from bursting like a balloon. Not long and head nurse Jung was quick to rescue another damsel from getting an earful from Dr. Jeon, like the way you experienced on your first day. You didn’t bother to look behind to see the commotion happening behind the curtains until someone tapped your shoulders.

You looked around to see head nurse Jung, a kind smile adorning her features before gesturing towards Dr. Jeon, who was hasty in checking the charts from the clipboards containing his patients’ profiles. You knew the look she was giving you when you stood up from your seat and approached the grumpy doctor at his seat from the other side of the station.

With the professional front you’ve practiced every night every time you’re about to face him, you asked “Are there other tasks you want me to take over for nurse Gaeul?”

He only sighed before looking up at your face. A tired look replaced his usual features before he glanced back at the computer, “Just keep an eye on patient 302 every 15 minutes, report to me when her temperature increased above 38 degrees celsius. Also, check her heart rate.”

You only offered a single reply of agreement before fetching the patient’s paper chart in one of the clipboards he’s currently looking at next to his laptop. While your hands are about to made contact with the rigid plastic covering, Dr. Jeon was quick to grab your wrist. “Record it on a new paper, nurse _____.”

His tone of voice was distant to the usual sound emitting from his mouth on a daily basis. It was smoother, a tone of softness lingers when he talked to you today compared to other days. Or is it just his voice he’s using when he was sucked out of energy to do nearly anything productive for a while.

You only commented, “Seems like you’re tired, when did you last step out of this hospital Dr. Jeon?”

Although you attempted making small talk, he felt like doing otherwise. “None of your business.”

“Okay.” you awkwardly replied, fleeing from the station after you mumble your apologies towards him. You hoped that no one heard of it except you and him, while he remained unresponsive in his seat with his right hand massaging his temples after you trudge your way out of the station.

It was after you submitted your charts when you thought you would see the last of him, now that you’re given a day off from working tomorrow. You only hoped that the apartment above yours would settle down from making too much noise during your free time, you were generous enough to give them a few days (3 days would suffice in your own opinion) to completely move their stuff into the building. You didn’t know your new neighbors yet, but you were confident to assume that the people above your floor are the new tenants as the apartment has been vacant for a while.

You took a shower when you arrived back home. Your slumped posture welcoming the warm shower, sighing in relief with the perfect temperature as you felt yourself getting sleepy in the process. A nap after this would appease your free schedule, containing no plans to even step outside and socialize with your friends who are working in other parts of Seoul city.

Though your plans didn’t go to plan when you realized you forgot to take out yesterday’s trash. Now clad within your pajamas at 18:00, you begrudgingly picked up the plastic bags lying at the little foyer of your apartment and wore your sandals lying on the steps. You approached the elevators at the end of the dimmed hall, pressing the button going down as you patiently waited for the doors to open.

You nearly dropped the trash bags in your clutch when you saw a familiar face greeting your sight when the doors swung open. Inside the elevator stood Jimin, whose hair was still wet and was also holding recyclable trash on his forearms. A smile grew on both of your faces when you recognized each other.

“I didn’t know you lived here?!” you exclaimed during the elevator ride down the building.

He replied, “Well, we just moved in days ago. We’re residing on the 5th floor.”

“Don’t tell me you’re the one who’s been moving stuff in the middle of the night.” you mused, to which he only shyly rubbed his neck probably in embarrassment.

“We’re sorry about that,”

You shook your head, “No worries though, welcome to the building!”

The elevator doors opened by the time you finished your small talk, but deep inside you were hoping to chat more with him as he has become a close friend of yours since day one. Compared to what you are currently wearing, Jimin seems to be preparing to go somewhere with the way he’s wearing a nice outfit; donning a striped shirt with black jeans and boots to compliment his figure. It was a miracle to still be fit despite the stress you and him are facing nearly every morning.

“By the way, we’re going out to celebrate our moving in. Perhaps you want to join?” he told you while taking both of your time walking towards the back of the building, where the trash segregation is done manually. You instantly nodded in agreement, granting your wish to hang out with him at least once outside of work.

“We,” you wondered, “who did you move in with? Is it your significant other?”

A chuckle left his throat only, almost as if he’s too shy to reveal who it is. “Well, I think you know who it is. I have been living with him though it feels like I’m the one who always occupies the apartment because he’s not home most of the time.”

“He. . . who is he? Jungkook?” you joked, while Jimin’s glance was focused behind your figure.

“What’s funny about my name, miss _____?” Jungkook, once again, made himself known in the worst way possible. You nearly choked in your own spit, eyes widening in astoundment with your reply answering Jimin’s words.

“Nothing doc-- I mean sir,” you coughed, “Jungkook-ssi. Welcome to the building you two.” You quickly strode away from them towards the glass door entrance of the back of the building.

While you wanted to cower away for the rest of the night, Jimin never failed to remind you when and where you two (and Jungkook, apparently) will meet for dinner. “Let’s meet down at the lobby in an hour, _____.”

You only raised your right arm, with your hand gesture agreeing to the arrangement.

As the time arrived, you were clad from your sleepwear to wearing a simple shirt and jeans to dinner. They were precisely on time when you found them in the lobby once the elevator you’re in arrived on the ground floor. Compared to the usual white coat and formal outfit that adorns Jungkook’s frame, his outfit for tonight consists of loose clothing that barely compliments his figure yet screams comfortability.

“Tell us when you’re done ogling at me because I’m hungry.” he snapped you out of your thoughts while looking smug. If he weren’t that handsome you could’ve smacked him--

Rather, you quickly averted your gaze towards his companion by his side, “You look great, Jimin.”

A huff was barely inaudible from the only doctor in the group before exiting the building first, leaving you and Jimin to initiate the conversation on your own. Though he didn’t fail to include Jungkook into the talk, his responses were clipped to a few words only before resorting to silence. He was consumed with the handheld device in his palm most of the time, while simultaneously walking along the pavement.

“Is he always that cold and harsh when meeting strangers?” You can’t help but ask Jimin who’s walking by your side.

He replied to your question after looking cautiously at the man walking a few feet away from the two of you, “Not always, though he has the ability to sense those who are trying to score a date with him after their initial conversation with him.”

“So he doesn’t do relationship?”

Jimin shook his head, looking back at Jungkook who did not make any attempt to remark about his roommate’s statement. “As far as we have lived together, he has never brought a date back home in the last few years.”

The amount of pork belly you and Jungkook had grilled over later was not quantifiable with your fingers, but you three were still not incoherent enough to count the number of soju bottles that you have drunk during the span of dinner. You were still safe from stumbling your way back home with them. As much as your mind could still absorb the events tonight, you were still capable of comparing the sudden shift in Jungkook’s behavior as it was influenced by the alcohol content of the beverage.

Your vision could barely capture how he looked tonight after drinking; red-faced and the creases between his brows were nowhere to be found. His eyes were bigger, brighter than the usual sharp stare that your set of eyes meet nearly every morning. The conversation you barely made through with him was now flowing at ease, effectively getting to know each other even though there’s a big possibility that you might forget about it when you wake up the next day.

“Does baby fever exist among the staff in the maternity ward?” Jimin curiously asked out of the blue, which made you choke on the soju shot you’re currently taking. Meanwhile, Jungkook only laughed drunkenly in response.

“I don’t know how to answer that, but in my experience, I hadn’t thought of it. I mean, babies are cute when they’re still babies, not when they enter the age of 18 months.”

Jimin hummed, still looking sober among the three of you despite drinking the same amount of alcohol, “Well, what convinced you to join the pediatric unit. Knowing that you’re aware of the ages of the patients we’re treating?”

Okay. That was a hard question. Rather than replying first, you pick up another slice of grilled pork to eat and ponder more about your answer. The truth can inevitably cause a feud with the involved departments, good thing you have an ounce of sobriety within you at that moment.

“Is it because of me, huh? You haven’t been able to take your eyes off of me--” Jungkook smugly replied.

You interrupted him with a scoff, “Get off your high horse, I didn’t know you even exist until I saw your stupid face that morning!” Jimin only laughed when his roommate’s face became stern, with a pout that only appears when he’s had enough alcohol in his system.

“How is my face stupid!? Children adore me whenever they see me, but with you, they suddenly cry. This face is the reason many people want me. How about you, huh?” Jungkook retorted, his voice slurring more than ever.

You were about to answer back when Jimin suddenly covered your mouth and Jungkook’s, “You two had enough for tonight, even when you’re drunk you’re still getting on each other’s nerves. And you can’t use your normal voices, we’re not in a bar with booming music to raise your voices!”

Jungkook still tried to respond, even if the sounds were muffled to the point that you can’t comprehend the words he was saying but you were sure that he’s insulting you behind Jimin’s hand. Though it seemed funny at first for Jimin to see how the two of you are acting, he was worried after the bad looks you two were gaining inside the restaurant.

“I think it’s time we head back home, you guys.” You couldn’t agree more, wanting to make Jungkook disappear from your sight at that moment.

#bts #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook #bangtan #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fics #bts fluff #bts angst #kpop #kpop fics #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #doctor!jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst

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mushybar · 11 months ago

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What would Jen be like as a racer? She's my fave!

CAMP CAMP: SUGAR RUSH — concept designs for david, gwen, daniel and jen

for this AU none of the adults actually race (there might be some exceptions, however—for the meantime they’re just side characters i guess), so unfortunately jen wouldn’t be a racer 💔 however i have some concept art for the four ‘main’ adults!

they all represent a different chocolate ‘flavour’: daniel is white chocolate, david is milk chocolate, gwen is dark chocolate, and jen is caramilk (which in australia is just caramel flavoured white chocolate, idk if y’all have it overseas). some of the roles have changed slightly to what you’re familiar w in the movie FOR EXAMPLE, david is a simple mechanic and secretly goes out of his way to help the kids and train them to be better and faster racers, and gwen is king candy’s private security: she is the only one that protects him💥💥 david and jen’s designs are simple: david is, of course, a representation of king candy AND turbo (i haven’t designed his turbo appearance yet but stay tuned!), and jen is his assistant (she’s the one with a very contrasting design compared to the film: instead of being sour and green, she’s like a beige-ish colour and v sweet!

authors note: yes, gwen and david are very similar to sargeant calhoun and fix-it-felix (they’re basically clones LMAO), but they are completely different characters cos they come from sugar rush. ALSO the dripping stuff on their faces and clothes is just chocolate cos like, yk, they’re technically made of chocolate

#camp camp #camp camp sugar rush #camp camp fanart #cc david #cc daniel #cc gwen #cc jen

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starchildrenofdustand-ashes · 1 year ago

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Cabaret at TheKit Kat Club Experience !!

So, I saw Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club at the Playhouse theatre on November 15 (11/15/2023) with Nic Myers as Sally and Jake Shears as Emcee.

Below the cut is where spoilers start lol: honestly the whole thing is super secretive- from the stage to the venue itself. So if you ever plan on seeing it live or have the opportunity to do so, you have been warned!

When you walk into the theatre there’s this awesome:

You will see before you descend the stairs; at the bottom of the stairs, they put a sticker on your phone :)

You’ll continue walking down the hall where the walls are white and covered with pictures all over of the actors past and present.

You probably pass some of the actors who are milling about, chatting, flirting, dancing playing instruments.

I was in the first row of the upper dress circle and god it’s tight up there. Definitely wish I’d payed a bit extra to be on the floor and to at least have room 😖

Also note; I don’t talk about Herr Schultz and Frauline Schneiderall that much in these notes, but that’s because their scenes are so sweet and straight forward. These two give you the Schneider and Schultz you’ve seen and you know you love; there’s nothing outlandish or left field that happens with these two like some of the choices with Sally and Emcee. The same can be said for Ernst and Cliff. Nothing wild has been changed with their characters. In fact, most of this will probably be me trying to decode the strange new take on the Emcee and The Kit Kat Club. Anyway! Here are my thoughts and stuff that stuck out to me!

(Also if you’ve seen this production with Eddie Redmayne or have listened to it and have a hypothesis— he makes this strange sound like he’s spitting? In a lot of the songs- I thought it maybe part of the orchestration, but I didn’t notice it with Jake Shears and chalked it up to Eddies character choices. So if you know what the sound is or can give me staging It would soothe my brain)

Willkomenn:

🍷 in Willkomenn, when the Emcee does his whole “comment ca va?, do you feel good” speil he paused after every time, as if to test what language the audience would respond to

🍷 He kept the “do you feel good- yeah I bet you do 😏” line even tho it wasn’t on the revival album🥹

🍷The way to tell Victor and Bobby apart is to lift their arm and stick your face in their armpits and take a big wiff. Bobby did not want his armpits sniffed and Emcee had to beg him

🍷 Bro I love Hermann; he was so stoic and dead inside- he just stood there and did the most basic version of what everyone was doing. He was also fully clothed lol

🍷When they sing the whisper verse, they were all posing in various positions and the Emcee crawled between their legs

Don’t Tell Mama:

🎀 When sally screams at the beginning, she was lying on her back throwing a tantrum

🎀 The Emcee is on stage for the final verse and he acts as Sally’s brother: when sally says the line, “if he squeals on me i squeal on him” they squeezed each others nipples

Perfectly Marvelous

💚When Cliff and Ernst are talking and Sally barges in, she’s wearing her coat, a beige and orange scarf, funky sunglasses and carrying a ton of luggage

💚at the end of Perfectly Marvelous, when Cliff says “besides I’ve only got one narrow bed,” the Emcee rises out of the circle in the center of the platform wearing the exact same thing as Sally: the coat the scarf and the glasses. Two Kit Kat Girls come up the same platform in a suitcase that looks just like the one Sally was carrying

💚 Nic Myers didn’t do an American accent

Two Ladies

👯‍♀️ The KitKatGirl who “makes thebed” puts on a hardware belt and does explicit things with a hammer while the other has a spatula. Or a whisk ,, The One That “Does The Cooking” goes behind Emcee and uses the whisk to “thrust” into him and when he says daily bread, she pulls out a baguette, she also fills out a whip lmao

👯‍♀️ During the instrumental break all the other Kit Kat Members come up through the stage wearing explicit things and doing explicit things to each other. The one that stood out the most to me was Helga jacking off to a copy of Mein Kampf— it was super chaotic and I don’t remember details

It Couldnt Please Me More:

🍍More often than not the sailor Kost was fucking was either Bobby or Hans- even referring to the former as such. Also, they refer to her as Fritzie explicitly so it’s cannon that Kost=Fritzie and not just an actress double casted.

🍍Before Kost runs into Schneider after letting Bobby out, Schultz is leaving Schneiders room and accidentally is trying to out her robe on instead of his jacket

Tomorrow Belongs to Me

* So Emcee comes on stage holding a box and is dressed in a robe and only a wig cap

* One by one, the member of the Kit Kat Klub put these dolls that are wearing brown suits with Blonde hair on the stage. They are standing militanty. very much providing Nazi imagery

* During the song, the figures go around the turn table while emcee is singing

* At the end of the song when he says the last line, he pulls out a blond wig and holds it in the spotlight

Money:

💸Money was the song I was most excited for because of the images I’d seen of the skeleton costume. I had a hard time figuring out why the skeleton, but it was cool nonetheless.

💸 the Emcee rises out of the middle of the floor, his clawed hands reaching out first.

💸 I watched Emcee legit drool on the stage (Groffsauce in Hamilton vibes) he was spitting those lines out so hard

💸 I don’t know how to interpret the staging of the song, the real star of the scene is the costumes, but I took it as the Emcee represented money? Everywhere he went the KitKat Girls followed, wailing and begging him and the surrounding audience for money.

TBTM (reprise )

* I mean. I feel like the staging for this song is always consistent and similar throughout all shows; the individuals singing with Cliff, Sally, Schultz and Sneider standing somberly. The emcee is usually eerily looking on and depending on the show is seemingly jubilant or looking wistful.

* In this, the Emcee rises out of the middle of the turn table wearing his outfit from money. He has a conductors stick and begins conducting them with a smile on his face.

* My sister said the Emcee is “If Art The Clown could talk” and Yeah, that’s pretty accurate. He goes form being the raunchy Emcee we’ve all come to love- I think the Emcee, no matter who plays him is kinda creepy, so the creepiness didn’t seem unusual- to an evil nazi

* But when we see him in money and onwards, he’s definitely giving Killer Clown- she was right, Art the Clown from Terrifier.

* The Art The Clown juxtaposition to when he appears bare faced during some songs was super interesting. It really feels like the idea of “The Nazi’s weren’t demons, they were people who did things we thought demons were only capable of,” and that’s what makes it terrifying. The clowning character is seen praising nazis and cheerfully conducting their songs- he really does seem like a force of evil that’s simply from hell. But then he talks off his makeup in the coming scenes and you’re reminding- he’s just a human who behaves like a demon and that’s terrifying-. Idk if I’m doing the best at explaining my analysis of this, but that’s what I was getting

Kickline

💃🏾The kickline is lively and the members of the Club are trying to hype up the audience before getting into formation

💃🏾They were all wearing red party hats so when the emcee comes on in his red Pierrot clown get up, he has the longest, pointed and most menacing looking hat.

💃🏾he also has a gun? Thing? He shoots a Nazi flag out of it

💃🏾 The Members of the club form a hakenkreuz shape around Emcee and he hand the flag to Bobby and they march off.

Married (reprise)

🧱 the scene before Married Sneider and Schultz are talking about the engagement. Emcee is slinking around the stage and he has something in his hands wrapped in a napkin. His movements remind me of a mime, or as Chelsea says, Art The Clown, the facial expressions with overdramatized emotion and fluidity

🧱 he slinks between Schultz’s and Sneider with a smile on his face and suddenly there’s a loud ass crash that makes- I shit you not- the entire theatre jump. The lights black out. When they rise back on, there is white confetti floating downward, to represent the broken glass

If You Could See Her

🦍Usually, the gorilla in this is dressed up and it looks more cartoonish, but to, this was just a straight up gorilla- (A really good costume) with absolutely no elements of humanity. No clothes, no slightly upturned mouth, no walking on two legs and absolutely no understand what was going on.

🦍The Emcee would address the Gorilla as if she was human, but she would only respond in an animalistic way like scratching her ass, sniffing Emcees ass or flat out ignoring him and doing her own thing.

🦍 The Emcee seemed to be back at his usually self- joking and less like a demonic force - he’s clowning and making the audience laugh and there’s the Jewish line at the end of the song (which?? I was kind of disappointed by. It didn’t give me shivers and I felt it was a bit rushed.) also people laughed, but it could’ve been a “I laugh at funerals bc it’s awkward,” and not because they actually found the situation funny. My sister hypothesized simple confusion for people who had no idea what was going on. I will agree that some of the Emcees choices are strange if you don’t know the plot/ haven’t read up on this revival before hand.

I Don’t Care Much:

🎙️ Next time Emcee is on stage he is wearing a brown suit and a blonde wig, no makeup on his face- he very much resembles the dolls that were placed on stage during TBTM

🎙️I don’t care much occurs after Sally and Cliff have an argument as usual. But after Cliff leaves Sally is getting dressed. She is putting on the same jacket and pants the Emcee is wearing

🎙️during the song the emcee is doing some weird puppet thing behind her and she’s mirroring the moves she’s doing. it was an interesting choice during this song, but I think it’s been my least favorite change. It was like she was on strings and he was controlling her. I guess it provided a good visual for the notion that the Emcee isn’t a person, rather a representation of the deteriorating culture of the the city as a whole.

🎙️ This song is good at humanizing the Emcee, especially in Alan Cummings revival; smeared makeup, track marks, slurred worlds and stilted motions. It really paints a picture of a human at the end of their rope. In this version it just solidifies that the emcee is the city of Berlin and the evils that are taking over (Which, goes in direct opposition to my previous theory on his costumes providing human- demon Nazi images but whatever I dont have the brain power to think harder about it)

🎙️ After this song Cliff gets beat up by Ernst. After the tussle, the nazi thugs are actually the members of the Kit Kat club, they are wearing the same coat as Sally and the Emcee. They finish Cliff off and take his coat away

Cabaret

🍷I mean. Damn. There’s not much to say here. Outstanding performance. Like there are performances from different actors on YouTube so you could watch those to see the blocking because it’s pretty much the same.

🍷 Nic Myers did an amazing job, I got full body chills

🍷 one critique I’ve heard is that it’s over directed and this song is the perfect example of it. As an actor and a director, I understand both sides,; I don’t see much individuality between the actors on YouTube vs Nic Myers because the staging is so specific. I will say, through my opera glasses, the emotion painted in her face couldn’t be replicated and I think that’s really where the nuances will lie- in their faces.

Finale

📸 The Emcee is back on the stage, in the same position as Willkomenn- it’s like this weird pose with his arms and legs bent (you can watch the Willkomenn performance in gram nortons show,, that’s the pose I’m talking about ((I’ve heard people say it’s supposed to look like a hakenkreuz ))the only difference is now he’s in his brown outfit with his blonde hair. Super eerie.

📸 All the characters are standing on the turn table and the Kit Kat Members are on the outer circle of the turn table wearing the same beige suit the emcee has on. The other characters are all wearing brown and there’s an eerie sense of uniformity.

📸 Then there’s the long ass drum roll as they continue to turn before the lights blackout.

#cabaret #cabaret west end #cabaret 2021 #cabaret at the kit kat club #eddie redmayne #jessie buckley #Jake shears #nic Myers #kander and ebb #cabaret revival #musical #cabaret musical #she reviews #my reviews

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noplacelikelondon58 · 1 year ago

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MY TAKE ON "IS PAUL ACTUALLY INFECTED"

okay so i know this has been debated to hell and back but yknow? today ive decided to word vomit my opinion like it actually matters so LETS GO

during let it out we see paul gradually becoming more mr. hyde instead of mr. jekyll and beginning to sing, but we dont see any of the infected people actually transfer the disease to him (starkid hasnt neglected showing us how the disease is transferred, so we know its not a matter of them not showing it lmao). he's simply becoming "infected" because of his proximity to the meteor.

here's the theory part: it think that his infection is only temporary. i think that none of the infected people actually transferred the "blue shit" to paul. a part of paul is still normal, buried underneath the exposure to the meteor. because we all know our beige man would NEVER sing (moana doesnt count [but we all saw how he knew all the words, paul you sly devil you]), let alone sing to emma "let me puke in your mouth em, just open your food bin, girl"

now, the aftermath potential. we've seen that there aren't effects that occur from being around infected people (professor hidgens doesnt count, he's a born and bred theater kid, cant change that). so i think that after a little bit in clivesdale, paul slowly starts to return to normal. obviously emma gets infected, i dont think there's any way to bypass that. since paul doesn't have any infection to transfer to her, everyone else will do it anyway lmao

so the alien thing will start to wear off, and paul's quickly realizing "oh god i have to do something about this" and then uhhh the rest of the story i cant think of yet but also paulkins happens idk how but it has to theyre cannonically soulmates<33

#paul matthews my beloved #paul matthews #emma perkins #professor hidgens #henry hidgens #tgwdlm #paulkins #starkid #hatchetverse #tgwdlm theory

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alpinelogy · 7 months ago

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HELLO could you tell me PRETTY PLEASE how did you make the halftone colored effect on your latest gr63 poster? tysm!

Of course!! I love talking about my graphics!!

I learned how to create the halftone effect from a guide I cannot find right now but my steps are as follows. heads up that I work in photoshop so everything is photoshop specific I fear.

Under the cut since there is a ton of images here o7

For the halftone effect

Import image of my choice and convert it to a smart object. This guide should theoretically work without a smart object with clipping and/or layer masks but smart objects look better + they keep my workspace more organized

In the smart object I create a new layer with a solid fill of #808080, convert it for smart filters (Filter > Convert for Smart Filters) and also set it to Hard Mix in the layer blending modes menu

Open the smart filters menu for the layer (Filter > Filter Gallery) and I create two layers, first Halftone Pattern with the following settings and on top of it Torn Edges with the following settings

You can fiddle with these obviously but I have never changed these since I started using this for my halftone effect

4. Now your image probably looks like this, really wonky and bright

To fix it I create a new adjustment layer, usually Levels but I have used Curves before as well and fiddle with it until I like it. Dont be afraid to use multiple and just mask it! For example here Tadejs jersey is white but the background is black so to keep the texture I masked the jersey and adjusted it separately.

Final effect vs adjustments to keep the background texture vs adjustments to keep the jersey texture. By combining the latter two I achieved what I wanted

If I want my image in grayscale I also add a Black & White adjustment layer in between my initial image and the Levels layer, though for the effect I achieved with the George graphic we dont want that.

Gradient colors

First of all I make all my multicolored graphics using gradient maps. I am not particularly knowledgeable so my apologies but I cannot even try to begin explaining gradient maps.

So for a multi colored effect I create a gradient map once I have an image that I am satisfied with and adjust it until it looks good. Important that the color fully on your right on the gradient map is the color you want to have in the background which in my case is the beige I use everywhere.

After that I save my smart object as I would usually do (Ctrl + S) and exit to the main graphic and ideally, it should look the same in your graphic as the smart object looked.

Unfortunately I cannot help with color choices/color theory for the actual gradient map since I barely understand what is going on myself lmao. Fwiw personally I think Synth (@/jamesvowles) is awesome with colors and how they work together in his paintings so maybe he could be of any help o7

Solid colors

This is for cases like this, where all my colors are solid flat, no matter how many colors

This is where the Black & White adjustment layer mentioned comes into play. For when I do solid colors only, even with multiple like in this graphic, I create a new color layer on top of all my other layers, fill it with the color of choice, and set the blending mode to screen. no idea why screen works, someone smarter with blending modes would probably be able to explain though.

For different colors I just mask out the areas I want the color to appear in.

Final step is to combine all my layers into a folder and under that folder I create a new solid color layer with the background color of my choice, in my case beige, and set the folder blending mode to darken. Once again, I have no idea how it works but it does and that what counts to me haha, someone smarter with blending modes would be able to explain most likely.

On a final note, do experiment!! Oftentimes I like getting to the point of where I would have usually used a gradient map (so no B&W layer) and then see what I can do with blending modes! Thats how I ended up with this image of Primož, its just a yellow color fill layer set to Hue blending mode

Hopefully everything makes sense, feel free to ask more if you are confused or want to know more about any part of my graphics <3

#ask #anonymous #erika.graphics #thank you for asking about my graphics I love talking about them!! do ask more if you want to i get stupidly excited about this

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razzberriezz · 2 years ago

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Fashion Dreamer Thoughts

Some things I found interesting about Fashion Dreamer! (Not everything will be here) I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts about it too :D Please note, all these screenshots were taken from the first trailer and store listing info only, so please take everything with a heaping pinch of salt (if future info disproves everything lmao)!

Also please note this post is pretty text and image-heavy! You may want to open it over wi-fi only or on desktop!

1. Character Customisation

First of all, it looks like we have the option to play with female/male looking avatars (finally)! However, the screenshot showing the male avatar doesn’t look to have any dresses/one-piece clothes in his inventory so clothing may still be gender-locked...

Secondly, it looks like the male avatar has facial hair?? The light beige around his chin looks like it anyway. At the very least, his eyebrows are definitely also beige, so it seems like we can have different colours for our hairstyle and eyebrows!

Unnatural skintones for all your fantasy needs... Or at least this ghostly zombie-like one which I haven’t seen any living human have. Since Fashion Dreamer takes place in the virtual world of Eve, it makes sense that we’d be able to have them! It might just be me, but it also looks like there are more height variations available too - I don’t remember the difference being so big between the shortest and tallest options before.

(On the billboard at the back, there are matching sailor uniforms for both genders, which ties back to my previous thinking that clothes might be gender-locked... I hope I’ll be proved wrong)

Sweet new hairstyles! We can mirror the styles and dye the same style in different ways, however it seems to be reminiscent of GM2 in that the fringe and back style aren’t able to be selected separately (Going off the trailer when the avatar’s hair switches from a wispy sideswept fringe and pigtails to this long blunt cut immediately)

Since this was in the part of the trailer featuring photoshoots (more on that soon) I’m assuming the second icon is pose selection? Along with hairstyle, hair colour and eyebrow style. Being able to change your avatar’s height/skin colour and face shape might be the first and second last icons (That’d be pretty cool, considering those options were locked behind completing the main story in previous GM games!) The third one is the one I’m confused about, since I would have thought that the clothes change icon would be something like a shirt or hanger lol - maybe it’s accessories??

2. Gameplay Mechanics

So... from everything I’ve seen in the trailer, it doesn’t seem like we earn money through styling anymore - instead we earn brand influencer points? Along with bingo tickets, which serve a currently unknown purpose. Leveling up increases our item box space (which I assume would be the equivalent of our closet in GM) and nets us creative points which will be used in fashion designing!

I think it was @alphards-asterism who mentioned something about not being able to buy clothes from the exhibition mall anymore, but it looks like it might still be available judging by the last screenshot (taken from the store listing images)? Unless the whole thing is just a set for the photoshoot feature, which would be MEGA disappointing :(

There are... rarities for clothes now??? Not sure how to feel about that; it kind of reminds me of those mobile gacha games where higher rarity=higher charm/popularity. Maybe it only affects the amount of points needed to create it? Another thing that caught my eye is the ‘type’ - the dress in the first screenshot is type A, while the earrings in the second don’t have a type. I wonder what this means? :o

It seems like Fashion Dreamer truly does emphasise on creating your own brand, with us being able to create anything from dresses to socks to earrings! It looks like the creative points we earn from leveling up are used to unlock new designs. It also looks like there are lots of colours available (from the start...? Here’s hoping there’s no freaking colour hunting in this game... :’))

3. PHOTOSHOOTS

PHOTOSHOOTS RETURN!!! I know we had the photo taking in GM4, but that one just felt so lackluster to me :( I’m sooo excited for this feature to be improved and expanded upon!

The sets look absolutely amazing - the angel wings illusion is so super cute (Pripara, anyone?) The avant-garde looking monochrome/blue set are really striking and includes mannequin styling! The last screenshot is my fave for two reasons: lots of pink and a gorgeous frame too!! The background looks like the brand backgrounds in previous GM games, doesn’t it? With all the repeating patterns and text? Maybe it alludes to a new brand 👀 or I’m just reading too much into it LOL.

There’s a ‘Play Pose Motion’ option, so I think it means we can save videos instead of just pictures now! In the second screenshot, there’s a ‘Drone Camera’ option - I’m not sure what it’ll look like, but it’s nice to know that we don’t have to stick to just the usual front-facing camera anymore.

These 3 things were the biggest sections of the trailer that really caught my eye (besides the obvious stuff, like graphical improvement and such)! I’m gonna hold off on commenting on the player interaction because I think there’s really just not enough info about it, BUT I will mention that I would be heartbroken if there aren’t any weird but lovable NPCs anymore... I can’t really imagine a GM game without colourful characters like Emmylou, Sophie, Rosie/Yolanda/Alina or even good ol’ Uncle Tim (LMAO) even if they’re trying to move away from Girls Mode and rebrand to Fashion Dreamer.

Anyway here’s hoping we’ll get more info soon!! Thanks for reading, and feel free to chime in with your own thoughts or things you’re interested in! :D

#fashion dreamer #style savvy #girls mode #style boutique #my grand return in 2 years and i have ascended to the state of being able to type a full length report in half an hour #truly a triumph

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bard-llama · 2 years ago

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WiP Wednesday: The Blue Spirit is a Bitch LMAO

This WiP Wednesday brought to you by “wouldn’t it be funny if only Zuko could see the Blue Spirit and they’re just damned annoying?”

So far, I’m working on Chapter 6 of this, so here’s some random scenes that make me laugh and/or cry.

From the very beginning, taking place during/before Zuko Alone.

In Zuko’s defense, if he’d known that the Blue Spirit was real, he never would’ve used their name! In point of fact, the correct name for his mask was the Dark Water Spirit, but that seemed like a technicality that wouldn’t matter to the spirit he’d apparently offended.

You steal my name, my face… the spirit rumbled, something about their voice sending chills down his spine, I will take you up on the offer.

Zuko gulped. He hadn’t meant to offer anything.

Somehow, he didn’t think they cared.

You want to be the Blue Spirit, they said, and the thing in front of Zuko grinned a wide, creepy grin. Wish granted.

Very abruptly, Zuko’s constant headache spiked enough to make his vision white out.

When he blinked back to awareness, he was lying on his back in the grass and the sun had begun to start peeking over the horizon. Perhaps that was what had woken him, because typically, Agni’s rays energized him.

He could use some energizing right now, because he felt like he’d been hit with a fucking airship traveling full speed.

“Ugh,” he groaned, rubbing his head. “What–?”

Oh come now, it’s not that bad, that chilling voice from earlier spoke and Zuko’s eyes snapped open to see that the bizarre creature in front of him – it almost looked human, except for the complete lack of features beyond the freaky smile – was still there, but had also become solid in a way they weren’t before. When he moved, they followed him. You’re stuck with me, they grinned.

Oh Agni, what had Zuko gotten himself into?

Given his complete lack of supplies, heading for the nearest town seemed sensible, but as soon as he grew close enough to hear the bustle of people, he knew it was a mistake. He could see something weird surrounding each person, a kind of colorful haze that – oh. Oh, dammit, had Ty Lee been right about auras this whole time!?

Ugh, if so, he owed her a massive apology, because he’d always dismissed the silly idea.

It was disorienting, but Zuko fixed his eyes on the ground, only glancing up briefly to ensure he was going in the right direction and not going to hit anyone. No one reacted to his new ‘friend’, despite the clearly inhuman appearance of them.

Yeah, no one else can see me, the Blue Spirit said casually, stretching strangely blob-like hands over their head. Ah, it feels good to move around. I’ve been cooped up in that stupid grove for way too long.

Zuko frowned, wondering if he should ask – but the last thing he needed was to draw attention by talking to himself.

Maybe the spirit would go away and it would become a moot point?

He snorted quietly. Yeah, his life was never that kind.

From Ch 2, where The Chase takes place

A few days later, he actually felt fairly stable with the whole seeing auras thing and the spirit that only he could perceive haunting him.

Actually, it was… weirdly kind of nice? To not be alone. Even though the Blue Spirit was creepy, it was nice to have someone during the long trek across the rocky plains.

A flutter of something beige caught his attention and his hand snapped out automatically to grab what turned out to be… hair?

Specifically, bison hair. The Avatar was nearby.

Heart suddenly pounding with hope, Zuko wondered if perhaps this was his chance to change everything. If he could just capture the Avatar, then – then – then what? He was considered a traitor to the Fire Nation with orders to be executed on sight. What could he actually do if he did manage to catch the Avatar?

Which was far from guaranteed. He’d never successfully held the Avatar for more than a few hours before, and even then, he’d had a blizzard to help him.

Huh, the Avatar really is back? The Blue Spirit asked. Where have they fucking been?

“Uh,” Zuko coughed. He wasn’t wholly sure, but… “I think they got frozen or something?”

…you’re kidding, right?

Zuko just shrugged, changing direction to follow the trail of bison fur. Maybe he didn’t know what to do if he caught the Avatar… but he had to try.

He literally had no other purpose in this world now.

Well, I wouldn’t quite say that, the Blue Spirit grinned. He was starting to get used to seeing that grin on a face with no other features, including no eyes, but it was still creepy. You are the Blue Spirit now.

Zuko frowned. “What does that mean?”

Their grin just widened and Zuko tried not to worry too much about it, but his hackles were definitely up when he spotted the abandoned village in the distance. The Avatar had probably gone there, which meant Zuko would be going there.

For three years, his entire purpose had been pursuing the Avatar. He didn’t know how to stop doing that, especially when he had nothing else. So maybe he didn’t have a great chance of capturing Aang (based on all of their past encounters and Zuko’s usual luck), but he had to at least try.

Never give up without a fight. Intriguing concept.

Zuko scowled at the Blue Spirit, stomping towards town.

Then he saw blue fire blossom above one of the buildings and suddenly, he had cause to run. If Azula was here, if Azula was after the Avatar – no. He had to stop her. Without the Avatar, he had no way of ever returning home. He couldn’t let her take that hope from him, even if it was a frail and fading hope.

When Zuko made his appearance on the scene, Azula and Aang were facing off down a street – so he threw a blast of fire between them and jumped down from the neighboring rooftop, landing lightly on his feet.

Concerned primarily with not breaking his legs, Zuko hadn’t really made notice of what his fire looked like. But Azula had.

“White fire? Really, Zuzu? Can you grow anymore freakish?”

He bared his teeth, snarling at her, but part of him was startled to note that she was right. Instead of the usual orange-red, his fire came out white when he struck.

He had no idea what was up with that, but he set it aside. Maybe it was a side effect of the whole spirit possession thing.

What was important was that the white fire was even hotter than Azula’s blue fire, and he could see on her face when she realized it, her calm veneer broken by a frown. Then she moved, darting between buildings, and the chase was on.

The Avatar followed her, too, and Zuko shot a few blasts at them just to keep them out of the way and on their toes. (If some of those blasts happened to cause them to jump out of the way of Azula’s shots, then that was pure coincidence.)

Zuko’s main focus was Azula. As much as he wanted to capture the Avatar, Azula was the more prominent threat.

She laughed. “So you really are a traitor. How delightful. Father will be pleased when I bring back your corpse.”

Zuko flinched.

“What–?” the Avatar started, brow furrowed in confusion, but Zuko couldn’t look at them. He had to stay focused on Azula, or she would take advantage of his distraction.

The fight continued and he wasn’t quite sure when the others showed up, but somehow, six of them ended up backing Azula up against a wall, bending (and boomerang) at the ready.

She held her hands up with calm deliberation. “Well, look at this,” she smirked. “Enemies and traitors, all working together.” She raised her hands in a peaceful gesture, but there was no way she was actually accepting defeat. “I know when I'm beaten. You got me. A princess surrenders with honor.”

“Like fuck,” Zuko couldn’t help but retort, and her eyes narrowed.

“You’ve never known anything about honor,” she responded and he couldn’t help his flinch.

“That is not true,” Uncle said firmly, somehow here beside him along with the Avatar’s group.

Azula smirked slightly. “Do you doubt my royal word?”

“Every word you say is a lie,” Zuko said automatically, because it was true. Azula always lied.

“Oh good,” Azula said casually, “then you know I’m lying when I say that I’ve missed you, dear Brother. The palace just hasn’t been the same without you. So quiet, so tranquil – so much better without you there.”

Again, Zuko couldn’t hide his flinch and Azula’s smirk sharpened.

It was only the Blue Spirit’s warning to block that let him raise a fire wall in front of all of them, unsure of who Azula was aiming for. Her blue fire combined with his white and exploded, sending them all flying back with a wave of heat.

Zuko managed to land on his feet. He was the only one.

A quick assessment of their surroundings showed that the Avatar’s group and Uncle had fallen to the ground, and Azula was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck,” he swore quietly, moving to help his Uncle up.

“Thank you, Nephew,” Uncle smiled at him as though things were at all normal. “It is good to see you well.”

“...yeah.”

“Azula’s gone,” announced the Avatar’s strategist – the fucker with the damned boomerang. His name was… Suki? Socket? No, that didn’t seem right.

“That doesn’t mean we can let our guards down,” the waterbender said icily, glaring at Zuko.

Which… fair enough, but suddenly, his motivation to fight the Avatar and get blown through walls was waning. He already hurt enough. He really didn’t need to add additional injuries to his collection.

Aang looked at him with innocence and a slight smile, aura bright like sunshine. “Hi, Zuko,” he greeted, as though they weren’t enemies.

Zuko had no idea what to do with that. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a silent groan.

“Who the fuck are you?” the little Earth Kingdom girl that had apparently joined the Avatar’s group asked.

“Who are you?” he asked in return.

She grinned widely and honestly, it was almost on the same level of creepy as the Blue Spirit’s smiles. He swallowed back a shudder.

“I’m Toph Beifong,” she introduced, “I’m the Greatest Earthbender in the World!”

Zuko blinked, staring at her. “Aren’t you like… ten?”

“Twelve,” she corrected. “And if you don’t believe me, I’d be delighted to demonstrate.”

Something told Zuko that this demonstration would be very painful.

“...I’ll take your word for it,” he decided. Mostly, he was too tired to deal with getting beat up, but he could admit – bright blue streaks of confidence dominated in her aura and he figured that probably meant she could back up her claims.

“So… are we fighting?”

Zuko sighed, really wishing he had a better answer than, ‘do I have to?’

Of course he had to. His Father had assigned him the task of capturing the Avatar. He could not fail. Again. He had too many failures on his record as it was.

But also… his ribs were still healing and frankly, getting blown through a building did not sound appealing.

“Was I imagining things or was your fire white?” Aang asked.

Zuko just shrugged, but yeah, it had been, and he had no idea what that was about.

White fire is not achievable by humans, the Blue Spirit said casually, walking around Aang and examining the Avatar. But you are no longer human.

Zuko’s eye widened and he almost choked at the words. What the fuck did that mean?

You’re me now, remember? The Blue Spirit’s grin was feral and Zuko gulped.

“Right,” he muttered.

And a little later:

“I have a proposal,” Uncle began. “We are all tired and worn. Perhaps we can make camp, get some rest, and deal with things later?”

Zuko sent his Uncle a disbelieving glance. No way would they consent to sleeping with him around. Why the fuck would they!? He was their enemy!

“Okay!” Aang agreed instantly.

“Not okay!” exclaimed the strategist – seriously, what was his name? Zuko really should know it. Soup? Socks? No, that was stupid.

…maybe Suki? His mind kept coming back to that, so that had to be it, right?

“Maybe two separate camps?” Toph suggested. “We can take over some of these abandoned buildings. Or I can just make us an earthen camp.”

“Do you think any of these buildings have real beds?” the waterbender asked with something longing and utterly exhausted in her voice.

When was the last time these idiots slept?

“I don’t care,” he decided, choosing a building at random and stomping into it.

As if to specifically spite him, the Blue Spirit lounged on the bed that was in fact there.

He sighed heavily, but called out, “yes on the beds.”

“Dibs on the next house!” Aang cried out immediately, and from the woosh of air Zuko could hear, he’d probably barged right in.

Zuko shook his head. Was this for real? Was he really about to make camp next to the Avatar? Why!?

Oh, I’d say it’s pretty obvious why, the Blue Spirit smirked.

Zuko frowned, confused. “What?”

What’s the Avatar’s name? They asked out of nowhere.

“Uh…” Zuko glanced around, trying to figure out the relevance. “...Aang?”

Mmhm. And what are the others’ names?

“Um,” Zuko flushed. “I mean, there’s Toph. And… Suki?”

“Are you talking to me?” Uncle called, making his way into the house.

Zuko shook his head, flushing.

The Blue Spirit smirked and suddenly he knew he was going to hate whatever was said next.

You have a crush, the Blue Spirit announced.

“What!?” Zuko flushed bright red, sputtering in disbelief. “Do not!”

The Blue Spirit just cackled, that same ghostly laughter that sent shivers down his spine.

“Nephew?” Uncle approached, a look of concern across his face.

Zuko covered his blushing face. “Nevermind,” he muttered.

Uncle’s eyebrow arched, but he let it go. “Are you tired?”

“Uh. Kinda?” He was… but he’d also noticed that he needed a lot less sleep now than he had before.

“Then let us rest,” Uncle smiled. “A man needs his rest. We can speak in the morning.”

After Zuko has a nightmare:

Fortunately, Zuko awoke with the scream trapped in his chest, the memory of his Father’s fist of fire making him shake.

He needed air, so he launched himself out of the chair and stumbled out onto the streets, where the sun was about two hours away from peeking over the horizon. Fortunately, Uncle had taught him to meditate on where the sun wasn’t as much as where it was, so Zuko chose a nice spot and settled down.

Naturally, that was when the Blue Spirit plopped themselves in front of them with – actually, with a strangely serious expression. As much of an expression as one could make with only a mouth.

That’s fucked up, the Blue Spirit opened with.

Zuko blinked. “...what is?”

Your memory.

Zuko’s eye widened. “You can see my memories!?”

Only when you dream. For now.

Well. That wasn’t ominous.

“How long am I stuck with you exactly?”

Oh, you’re never getting rid of me, the Blue Spirit laughed.

Swallowing hard, Zuko decided he couldn’t think too hard about that.

He was wrong, the Blue Spirit said, mouth flattening into a serious line again. You know that, right? Like, I don’t even have human morals and holy fuck, he was super wrong to do that to you.

Zuko frowned. “He was punishing me for disrespect,” he whispered.

Yeah, I’m a spirit of justice, the Blue Spirit said bluntly. There was nothing just about that.

“Yes there was,” Zuko objected. There had to be. Otherwise, how could everyone else have acted like it was okay?

He was always forcing his Father to punish him. It wasn’t that Father wanted to – but Father wanted him to be stronger, to stop being a disappointment.

He deserved everything Father had ever done to him.

That’s bullshit, the Blue Spirit said.

“Well, what do you know of it?” Zuko snapped. “It’s none of your fucking business.”

On the contrary, the Blue Spirit grinned. I am the spirit of vengeful justice. It is entirely my business how my host has been mistreated.

“I haven’t been,” Zuko said, but somehow it felt like a lie.

Yes, the Blue Spirit said simply, you have. But not to worry – you can now take just revenge for each slight!

“There aren’t any slights!”

Really? Not even against the Blue Fire Girl?

Zuko hesitated.

That’s what I thought.

“Ugh,” Zuko groaned. “Just… shut up.” He’d come out here to meditate, not to question everything he’d ever known.

But the thoughts wouldn’t stop circulating around his head when he tried to meditate, so he changed his plans, instead pulling out his swords.

In the prior village, he’d combined his swords and his fire together. And he hadn’t noticed if his fire was white there – more concerned with the whole stone mallet to the chest thing – but it certainly was now.

It was kind of unnerving, so Zuko stuck to playing with his swords only, doing his best to mitigate how much he pulled on his ribs. But he couldn’t afford to be idle while they healed, so he needed to learn how to fight with them.

It wasn’t the first time he’d learned to compensate for an injury limiting his mobility. (In the most memorable previous time, he’d had to figure out how to practice dual dao with one arm in a cast after Father had broken it as punishment for playing with swords when his firebending was a disappointment.)

Again, the Blue Spirit said, that’s fucked up. Like, seriously. No wonder the world has gotten so out of balance if that’s what’s leading the Fire Nation.

Zuko felt like he needed to defend his Father, but he really didn’t know what to say. It was Father. Everything he did was right by definition.

But the Blue Spirit said nothing else and Zuko let it go, shedding his shirt when sweat started to make his skin itch. Then he focused only on moving his swords the way they were supposed to move, filtering out all other input from his senses.

Which is why he jumped about three feet into the air when Aang’s voice asked out of nowhere, “what happened to you!?”

“Fuck!” Zuko swore, pressing a hand to his pounding heart. “Fucking Agni, don’t do that.”

The Avatar just frowned at him, face pinched with what almost looked like concern. “What happened?”

“None of your business,” Zuko snapped, reaching for his shirt and quickly covering his torso – and the very obvious bruises and scars scattered across it.

“Katara’s a healer,” Aang offered.

Katara. Was that the waterbender? He had read that waterbending could sometimes heal. But even if she could do it… “yeah, I don’t think that’s on offer for your enemy,” he said bluntly.

“Everyone deserves healing,” Aang disagreed. “And we won’t know until we ask.”

“Well, I’m not asking,” Zuko snapped.

“But–”

“Fuck off,” Zuko said, turning away from the Avatar. This… was actually the perfect opportunity to attack, with no one else around but them. But right now, Zuko was angry and confused and in pain and he did not have the mental capacity to deal with the Avatar trying to help his enemy. Again.

He spun his swords, moving through the katas Master Piandao had once taught him and paying the Avatar no mind. He kind of figured Aang would go back to his friends – but instead, when he finished the kata, Aang clapped.

Zuko whirled around to stare at him.

“That was really cool!” Aang enthused. “I mean, I knew from before that you were good with swords, but like – wow! You’re really good!”

“...thanks?” Zuko hazarded, uncertain of what to do with the Avatar’s praise.

Cruuuuuuuush, the Blue Spirit’s singsong voice said from way too close, and Zuko jumped again, earning him a surprised look from Aang.

Ugh. He did not have a crush.

You so do, the Blue Spirit responded, clearly amused.

“What do you want?” Zuko demanded, and he honestly didn’t know if he was asking the damned spirit or the Avatar.

Aang shrugged. “We haven’t seen you in a while.”

“...shouldn’t you consider that a good thing?”

“Hmm,” Aang paused to actually think about it. “There are positives to it,” he said eventually, “but there’s something reassuringly familiar about you chasing me.”

“...are you fucking kidding me?”

“Well, I mean, since I woke up from the ice, you and Katara and Sokka have been the most consistent things in my life,” he said, smiling brightly at Zuko.

Zuko… did not know what to do with that.

“Hey, can I ask?” Aang began, “why do you chase me anyway?”

Because the Fire Lord is a sadistic asshole, the Blue Spirit said.

Zuko froze, which apparently worried Aang, because he held his hands out, quick to assure, “you don’t have to tell me! I’m just curious.”

You know, the Blue Spirit observed, if you won’t believe me, maybe you should tell him. I guarantee he will tell you that your Father is seriously fucked up beyond belief.

That made Zuko scowl and Aang winced, leaning back and murmuring an apology.

It was ridiculous that Zuko felt guilty for making him think it was his fault that Zuko was pissed.

He wanted so badly to respond to the Blue Spirit, but there was only so much responding to things no one else could hear that could be excused. So he grit his teeth and bit out, “go away.”

Aang pouted. There was really no other word for the expression. “Aw, c’mon,” he whined. “We can talk about something else!”

“I don’t want to talk to you at all,” Zuko said without thinking and the hurt that crossed Aang’s face made something uncomfortable twist in his chest. He huffed, annoyed with everything about this situation.

“Okay,” Aang said quietly, voice small. Zuko did not feel guilty about that. “But can you at least come see Katara and get healed? It can’t be easy to fight with… all of that.”

It wasn’t, but like hell was Zuko admitting that. “I’m fine.”

“Those bruises looked really deep,” Aang pointed out.

Zuko shrugged. “Nothing broke. Probably.”

“‘Probably’!?”

He sighed, “what do you care?”

Frowning, Aang looked up at him with earnest eyes and said, “no one should be in pain.”

That actually made Zuko laugh, which was horrible for his ribs, but… “I don’t remember what it’s like not to be in pain,” he admitted. “You get used to it.”

Aang’s look of horror just reminded Zuko of how different their lives were. This was an airbender who had grown up in a world without war, in a temple where fun and serenity were considered to be the most important things.

It was such a foreign upbringing that Zuko couldn’t really understand it. His entire life had always been a struggle. He’d never been given anything for free – but the Avatar? They probably got offered free shit all the time.

Shaking his head, Zuko turned away. “Go away, Aang.”

Aang did not go away. In fact, when Zuko headed towards the house Uncle was sleeping in, the Avatar followed him.

“You know my name,” Aang said, surprise in his voice.

Zuko’s face scrunched in confusion, unsure why that mattered. Then he spotted the Blue Spirit’s wide grin parting to say something and he snapped out, “shut up.”

Aang ignored that. “Do you know the others’ names?” he asked curiously, skipping up next to Zuko.

Zuko’s fists clenched and the Blue Spirit laughed.

No, the Blue Spirit said, smugness in their voice. You just know his because you’ve got a crush.

He did not! Desperate to defend himself, he blurted out, “I know Appa and Momo!”

“You… do?” Aang blinked at him in surprise.

Zuko flushed. “Um. Admittedly, not sure which is which.”

That made Aang burst out into giggles. “Appa is my bison,” he said with a grin. “Momo is our lemur.”

And a little later:

“The world has changed so much,” Aang said, voice quiet. “It scares me.”

“I mean,” Zuko heard himself say before he knew he was going to, “even a hundred years ago, your perception of the world was probably pretty different from most people in the other nations.”

“Why?”

“Well, you’re an Air Nomad.”

“...yeah?”

Zuko flushed. “The other nations don’t really have so much emphasis on ‘fun’. Even historically. And I mean, not saying that you were ignorant of the other nations – I’m sure you visited them plenty – but Air Nomads… the other nations aren’t like that.”

“What do you mean?” Aang frowned.

Zuko sucked on his bottom lip, trying to find the right words. “Probably the closest to the Air Nomad lifestyle would be the Water Tribes. They’re communal too – or at least, the South is. I dunno much about the North that’s not eighty years out of date, and as of then, they’d moved away from that a couple thousand years ago. But that makes a pretty significant difference. When you know your needs are provided for… it’s different. But the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom… they’ve never been like that. I mean, I’m sure some places have done it on a local level before, but like, nationally, there’s no guarantee for Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom citizens that they will always have food or shelter or water or–” he spotted the look on Aang’s face and broke off. “Um. Yeah.”

“Really?” Aang whispered. “I mean, I guess I knew that a little bit? Bumi lived on the streets in Omashu a hundred years ago.”

Zuko blinked. “Bumi? As in King Bumi!?”

“Yeah, he became king at some point?” Aang shrugged. “He – he was always good at taking care of himself that I guess I never really realized… how can the Earth King and the Fire Lord not feed all their people?”

“Well, scale is definitely a factor,” Zuko said. “Like, there is a point where a society gets too big to effectively manage. I mean, there were around twenty-nine thousand Air Nomads. The Southern Water Tribes, too, were around twenty thousand at their peak. But the Fire Nation has a hundred-seventy-nine thousand people, and the Earth Kingdom has at least three-point-five million.”

Aang’s eyes were wide. “Whoa.”

“Yeah. So size is a factor. But probably also culture? Like… before the Fire Nation unified into one country, we were a little more like the Southern Water Tribes. Each island had their own clans and good rulers took care of their people. But then we came together as one nation and…” he frowned, horrified by the thought that it all went downhill from there.

“But…” Aang’s face scrunched up in confusion, “I mean, I don’t really get how having a single ruler works, but like… how can they not take care of all their people? Isn’t that the purpose of having a ruler?”

Zuko had no response to that.

He’s got a point, the Blue Spirit pointed out, watching Zuko and Aang like they were the best entertainment they’d seen in years.

…which might actually be the case, but Zuko determinedly did not care.

He scowled at the Blue Spirit, just on principle.

“What are you looking at?” Aang asked curiously, following his gaze – and probably seeing nothing more interesting than the dust-swept ground.

“Nothing,” Zuko muttered, realizing that at some point, he’d stopped walking just to talk to Aang. Frown deepening, he resumed his journey to Uncle.

Aang continued to skip alongside him until they heard Katara’s voice snarling, “where is he!?”

They shared a concerned look and ran.

Katara stood over Uncle, icicles hovering threateningly around him. The only thing that stopped Zuko from attacking was the fact that Uncle appeared entirely calm, sipping a cup of tea.

Where had he even found tea?

“Katara?” Aang called, and she whirled around.

“Aang! Are you okay?” she asked, running up to him and glaring fiercely at Zuko.

“I’m fine,” Aang said easily. “What’s wrong?”

“We woke up and you were gone and then it turned out Zuko was also gone, so…” the Water Tribe boy – Aang had said his name, hadn’t he? What was it? – shrugged, looking bored. There was clear relief on his face, though, and his boomerang was in hand.

Agni, Zuko hated that thing.

Then the boy’s words penetrated his head and he realized that he hadn’t even tried to capture the Avatar. Like, at all.

Was he really so scared of getting his ass kicked that he didn’t even bother to try!?

Yeah, I don’t think that’s the problem, the Blue Spirit said, a smirk on their face. Zuko’s brow knit in confusion and they clarified, do you really want to bring that innocent and gullible Avatar to the man who burned your face off?

Zuko couldn’t help his flinch and it garnered him strange looks, but he tried to ignore it.

What do you think your Father would do to him? the Blue Spirit asked curiously. Which body part do you think he would burn first.

Zuko’s inhale made sharp pain spread through his chest and he winced, pressing a hand to his ribs absently, more focused on the Blue Spirit than the way the Avatar looked at him with obvious concern.

He wanted to tell the Blue Spirit that they were wrong, that Father wouldn’t – wouldn’t–

Would your Father keep him alive, you think? Or let him reincarnate eventually?

“Stop,” Zuko whispered, eye wide as he processed the Blue Spirit’s words.

“Stop what?” Aang asked, standing too close to him and looking curiously between him and the presumably empty patch of street where the Blue Spirit stood. “Are you okay?”

Suddenly unspeakably angry, Zuko grit out, “I’m fine.” Then he turned on his heel and marched away – away from the Avatar, but more importantly, away from the Blue Spirit and the horrible things they said.

They were wrong. They had to be. Father wouldn’t–

But. But he’d never thought Father would burn him so badly either, and what if the Blue Spirit was right!? If – if Father could punish his son so severely… what would he do to the boy who happened to be the Fire Nation’s most wanted enemy?

Zuko had deserved his punishment, but Aang…

No, not Aang. The Avatar. The one being powerful enough to challenge the Fire Lord.

Father would have no mercy. He certainly hadn’t had any for Zuko.

And that was right. That was just.

The problem was, Zuko wasn’t sure he could sentence anyone to worse than what he got. The burn on his face had been deep enough to steal not just his sight on that side, but his hearing, too. It hurt constantly and made his whole head throb.

But he’d deserved it. Right? He’d – he’d spoken out of turn in the Fire Lord’s war room. He’d shown unforgiveable disrespect. That – that was an offense serious enough to warrant such a punishment… wasn’t it?

An hour ago, he wouldn’t have questioned it. But now? Now the Blue Spirit’s complete disapproval of his Father had instilled doubts in him.

Father wouldn’t be happy.

It was fine, though. Zuko wouldn’t succumb. He would always be loyal to his Father, as a good son should be. He wasn’t a good son, Father had made that clear, but he had to try.

So why couldn’t he dismiss the Blue Spirit’s words?

Trying to stop thinking, Zuko dove into a kata that he knew well enough to be comfortable with, but not so well that he didn’t have to pay attention to what he was doing. His fire came out bright white, but he refused to let his mind contemplate that. It didn’t matter what his fire looked like. All that mattered was that he execute the kata correctly.

Next Chapter:

Iroh was used to worrying about Zuko. In general, his nephew excelled in reckless behavior – but now especially, with everything in their life so shaken up, he felt that worry more keenly than ever.

He shouldn’t have let Zuko go alone.

“Uh…” the Earth Kingdom girl coughed, “what the fuck just happened?”

“Got me,” the Water Tribe boy said. “Zuko just started staring into space and freaking out.”

“I don’t think he was staring into space,” the Avatar said, frowning. “It seemed more like he was looking at something.”

“But there’s nothing there.”

Iroh stroked his beard, intrigued. “Nothing we could see. Which does not necessarily mean nothing at all.”

“...are you saying that Zuko’s seeing things?”

“Actually, I was thinking more about the white fire. The spirit fire.”

The Avatar gasped. “You think Zuko saw a spirit? But why couldn’t we?”

“Very few beings can see a spirit’s form without the spirit intending it.” Iroh was actually one of those beings, but he’d seen nothing either. The question was, did that mean there was nothing to see? “Some of it comes down to power – not many spirits are powerful enough to manifest physically unless something serious happens to set them off.”

“Like the fucking Hei Bai spirit,” the Water Tribe boy muttered.

“What,” the Avatar asked hesitantly, “what would it mean, if Zuko sees a spirit?”

“I’m not sure,” Iroh admitted, but now that the thought had occurred, he worried about it. What could the spirits want with his boy?

“He’s injured,” the Avatar’s quiet voice said.

“What? Who?” the waterbender blinked.

“Zuko. He looked pretty badly injured, but he wouldn’t come back to ask you to heal him, so…”

She sniffed, sticking her nose in the air. “I wouldn’t anyway.”

The Avatar frowned sadly. “He guessed that. But – but he could have broken bones, Katara!”

“...he did touch his ribs like he was in pain,” the boomerang kid said reluctantly.

Iroh fretted, but he knew nothing he could say would help this girl decide to heal her enemy, so he stayed quiet.

“So what? He chased us across the world!”

The Avatar chewed on his lip and then admitted, “he also saved me from Zhao once.”

“...what?” Iroh wasn’t the only one to look at him in surprise.

“I – I got captured by Zhao,” the Avatar explained hesitantly. “After that big storm, you remember? Where you guys got super sick? Well, I went looking for medicine and these freaky archers came after me and… Zhao strung me up in this stronghold. And he – I was so scared,” he admitted. “I could barely move. I didn’t know what to do. But then the door opened and–”

The waterbender scoffed. “And Zuko appeared? Yeah right!”

“He did!” the Avatar insisted. “But I didn’t know it was him at first. He wore a mask and used swords instead of fire.”

“...Zuko can use swords?” the Water Tribe boy asked, looking mildly disturbed.

“Yeah! He was practicing with them earlier and wow! He’s really good! I mean, I kinda knew that, because we had to fight a lot of firebenders to escape, but like…” he shrugged.

The waterbender crossed her arms. “Well if he’s so injured, what is he doing practicing?”

The Avatar frowned. “I mentioned that. He just said that nothing was broken. Probably.”

“‘Probably’!?” Iroh couldn’t help but burst out.

“That’s what I said!” The Avatar looked distressed. “He – he said he doesn’t remember what it’s like not to be in pain.”

Iroh winced. It wasn’t that that came as a surprise, exactly, but it was difficult for him to acknowledge the reality that his boy experienced constant pain and there was nothing he could do about it.

He did not like feeling powerless.

“What does that mean?” the Water Tribe boy demanded. His sister’s face was a strange mix of horrified, disbelieving, and sad.

Iroh sighed. “Such deep burns are not without consequence,” he murmured.

“Who–?” the Avatar dared to ask.

Part of Iroh wanted so badly to tell them. Their goal was to face the Fire Lord and stop this war. They should know just how terrible Ozai was.

But… Zuko wouldn’t want his enemies to know. Zuko hadn’t yet come to realize just how unforgivable it was for his Father to do such a horrible thing. It broke Iroh’s heart, but he hoped that one day, Zuko would be ready to acknowledge that his Father was wrong.

Iroh sighed, shaking his head in response to the Avatar’s question.

The Water Tribe boy coughed. “Um. Who are you, anyway? I mean, obviously you’re always following Zuko around, but…”

That made Iroh’s lips twitch. “I am Zuko’s Uncle,” he introduced. “My name is Iroh.”

“His… Uncle?” the boy said with a strange expression on his face. “As in… his Father’s brother?”

“Indeed,” Iroh agreed.

“...younger brother, though, right?”

“Ah,” Iroh clicked his tongue. “No. Ozai is almost twenty years my junior.”

Not me just sharing practically the whole next chapter oops

“Nephew!” Uncle beamed at him, looking up from the Pai Sho board he’d found somewhere. “Would you like some tea?”

Zuko sighed, taking a seat across from Uncle (carefully holding his torso still, because fuck, his ribs hurt). He would not be playing Pai Sho, but he did want to talk to his Uncle.

“What’s on your mind, Nephew?” Uncle asked, inviting him to share.

Zuko wanted to ask. But it was also really hard to get the words to cooperate. In the end, his question was blurted out with a complete lack of tact.

“What do you think Father would do to the Avatar?”

Uncle blinked in surprise, then took a moment to think, looking contemplatively down at the board. “I am not sure I can theorize,” he said.

“He’ll,” Zuko stuttered, “he’ll do worse than he did to me, won’t he?”

“It is highly likely,” Uncle said carefully. Too carefully.

The Blue Spirit’s words ran through his mind again and he had to whisper out the question that scared him more than anything. “Was Father wrong?”

“What?”

“When – when he – I – I deserved it, right?”

“No!” Uncle said with such emphasis that it made Zuko tense. He clearly noticed and calmed himself. “No, Zuko. There is nothing you could do that would deserve such treatment.”

Zuko frowned. How could that be? “But…”

Told you, the Blue Spirit chimed in, and Zuko suddenly noticed them lounging across the moth-eaten couch.

But that didn’t make sense. How could he not deserve it? Why would Father do that if he hadn’t deserved it?

Because he is cruel, the Blue Spirit said simply. But don’t take my word for it. Ask him.

Zuko chewed on his lip, not quite able to look at Uncle. “Why?” he asked quietly. “If – if I didn’t – then why?”

“Zuko,” Uncle began, but Zuko had to finish.

“If – if what he did was wrong, then why didn’t anybody stop him!?”

Uncle set his teacup aside, and when Zuko glanced up, he was looking at Zuko with a serious expression. It made him look sad.

“There is no excuse for cowardice,” Uncle said, and his voice shook in a way it never had before. “But sometimes fear is easier to succumb to than courage.”

Zuko frowned. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” Uncle said, “that not only did Ozai wrong you, but you were failed by all of us who should’ve done something and never did. It is unforgivable, Zuko.” Uncle met his gaze with shiny eyes. “Of everyone there that day, Zuko, you are the only one who did not do something wrong.”

“But–”

“You were right, Zuko,” Uncle said clearly, stopping for a moment to clear his throat, voice thick with emotion. “You were right to speak up for the 41st. You absolutely did not deserve what happened – no one ever could.”

“But how can that be!?” Zuko burst out. “If – if it was so wrong, then how come no one has ever said that before? How come you’ve never said that before!?”

Uncle flinched. “You love your Father,” he said after a moment. “When you love someone, it is difficult to see the ways they are wrong. When others criticize those we love, we rarely believe them. But that does not mean it is not true.” He sniffled and cleared his throat. “I never wanted you to push me away.”

Zuko’s face was scrunched in distress. “But – but even the Earth Kingdom merchants and the gossips in every port and the soldiers everywhere – everyone acted like Father was right. How can that not be the case?”

“Your Father has a great deal of power over the world,” Uncle said slowly. “Not because of his crown, but because of his cruelty. People the world over fear him. Fear makes us cowards, and sometimes it is easier to pretend it’s not there than to admit that we failed. Because if we acknowledge that Ozai is wrong and we do nothing… we are not less guilty than he is.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense!”

“No,” Uncle agreed, voice so very sad. “It doesn’t. The world has become terribly broken, Zuko, and too few remember what it is to act with compassion and love. Our family has brought a century of war on this world and people have become twisted with malice and desperation. That does not make it right. What Ozai did was wrong. And there is no possible way anyone could deserve that.”

Zuko shook his head, not able to accept that. It was ridiculous. If Uncle was right, then the whole world was wrong. That couldn’t be possible.

It made much more sense to think that the problem was Zuko. Maybe… maybe other people wouldn’t deserve it. But Zuko did. Zuko had to have, because otherwise, every single person he’d ever met had been wrong. All those people who sneered at him and laughed at him and made jokes about it and–

It was too many people. Surely they couldn’t all be in the wrong.

No, it had to be that Zuko was the one wrong. It had to be.

Uncle reached out slowly to touch his arm and Zuko couldn’t help his flinch, head spinning with confusion.

It couldn’t be. Uncle had to be incorrect, that was the only thing that made sense.

But… but Uncle looked at him with such guilt and pain and heartbreak and Zuko didn’t know what to do with that and–

“I need air,” he grunted out, scrambling to his feet and bolting.

Unfortunately, while Uncle could be outrun, the Blue Spirit could not be.

He’s right, they said, strolling alongside Zuko.

“Fuck off,” Zuko grit out. “Just – just go away!”

Fine, the Blue Spirit agreed. But he’s still right.

A moment later, they popped out of existence, and Zuko let out a shaky breath, suddenly feeling a hot burning behind his right eye.

They were wrong. They had to be.

Right?

Now Aang’s POV

Aang was floating on cloud nine. He could earthbend! After a horribly long day of failure after failure after failure, he could do it! He could move rock!

Katara left to start dinner and Sokka and Toph had eagerly followed her, but Aang had too much energy to stay in place, so he wandered through the streets, bending pebbles around just because he could.

So when he spotted Zuko stomping down an intersecting street, he raced after the Prince excitedly.

“Hey Zuko, guess what?” He used his airbending to speed ahead and come around to face Zuko, a bright grin on his face. Then he spotted Zuko’s expression and his smile fell. “Are you okay?”

Zuko turned away instantly, sniffling and wiping his right eye. Aang… was pretty sure he’d seen tears on Zuko’s cheek and he didn’t know what to do with that. It had… never really occurred to him that Zuko could cry.

“What happened?” he asked softly.

“Nothing. Go away.” Zuko’s voice lacked any force and he wouldn’t look at Aang, even when Aang circled around him again.

“Is there anything I can do?” Aang asked quietly.

“Yeah, fuck off,” Zuko grunted, twisting on his heel to stomp away from Aang.

Aang chewed on his lip. He – he didn’t want to not respect Zuko’s wishes, but something was very clearly wrong and he couldn’t just leave Zuko to be upset alone.

“I can distract you, if you want?” he offered. If Zuko wouldn’t talk to him, then he could at least help Zuko take his mind off whatever had happened… right?

“Why!?” Zuko demanded, rounding on him. “What do you care!?”

Aang frowned. “Why… wouldn’t I care?”

Zuko sputtered. “Because we’re enemies, maybe!?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want you to be unhappy,” Aang pointed out. “I don’t want anyone to be unhappy. So if I can do something about it when someone is…” he shrugged.

Zuko stared in disbelief. The eyelashes of his right eye – the only eye that had eyelashes – were clumped with tears and it was pretty obvious that Zuko had definitely been crying.

Aang hated when people cried. He wanted to give Zuko a hug, but that might be pushing things a little too far. Still, he could at least do something to offer comfort.

“If you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s okay,” he said, voice as gentle as he could make it. “You don’t have to tell me. But that doesn’t mean I can’t take your mind off it.”

“...how?”

“Um,” Aang considered his options. “Oh! Would you like to fly on Appa?”

Zuko’s face made it clear he thought Aang was crazy.

“Flight is amazing!” Aang insisted. “C’mon, I’ve taken a lot of first-time flyers out. It’ll be fun!”

“Fun,” Zuko repeated blankly. “You… I don’t know why I’m surprised,” he huffed.

Aang attempted a smile. “As you know, Air Nomads are big on fun,” he said easily. “Do you wanna go flying?”

There was definite temptation on Zuko’s face, but the frown stayed dominant. “You realize I could just knock you out and fly to the Fire Nation, right?”

“Well, I guess it’s possible,” Aang acknowledged. “But I think Appa would have something to say about that. He can be positively unmoveable when he’s feeling stubborn, you know?”

Zuko blinked slowly, processing that. Then he actually snorted.

“Sky bison were considered to be one of the most willful pack animals in the world,” Zuko muttered.

“Yeah!” Aang nodded, though he was definitely surprised Zuko knew that. But it didn’t really matter. “So… wanna go flying?”

“...fuck it, why not?” Zuko said after a moment.

“Great! C’mon!” Aang positively beamed, grabbing Zuko’s hand and dragging him towards Appa.

Zuko asks the burning question

When Zuko’s eyes opened again, there was a considering look on his face. “Can I ask you something?”

Surprised, Aang nodded. “Sure!”

“In – in the Air Temples,” he began, voice hoarse, “how were you punished if you disrespected the elders?”

Aang tilted his head. “Disrespect how?”

“What do you mean ‘how’?” Zuko frowned. “Disrespect is disrespect.”

“Well, I guess, but like… it kinda depends on how much of a sense of humor you have, you know? Like – like Master Gyatso and I would prank the other elders all the time, and Monk Tashi would get super mad, but Monk Pasang usually found it funny. He’d even give us feedback on how the pies tasted!”

“...pies?”

“Oh yeah, see, Master Gyatso is a great baker. And pies are perfect for throwing at people’s heads.”

Zuko stared at him. “You… threw pies at your elders?” There was clear horror in Zuko’s voice. “What did they do to you? How were you punished?”

“Oh, usually it was just more chores and stuff,” Aang shrugged. “I’m very good at cleaning bison stables.”

Zuko’s stare almost turned gaping.

“What?”

“You,” Zuko’s voice was strangled, “you attacked and humiliated your elders and all you got was more chores!?”

“Uh… yeah?” Aang frowned. “Why? What do you think should’ve happened?”

Zuko clutched at his hair, face distraught. “It’s – that can’t – it’s not – what!?”

Aang wasn’t sure what was troubling Zuko so much, but he reached out with clearly telegraphed movements to touch Zuko’s arm. “What happened?” he asked quietly.

Zuko’s muscles flinched under his fingers, but Zuko didn’t actually pull away. Instead, he sat hunched over, tugging at his own hair.

“Zuko?” Aang shifted closer, hoping to offer what comfort he could. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Zuko shook his head, very obviously focusing on keeping his breathing steady. Even so, each exhale shuddered, and Aang was pretty sure that wasn’t just because of the bruising he’d seen earlier.

“Can I hug you?”

That made Zuko jerk back, gaping at him. “What!?”

“I won’t if you don’t want me to,” Aang said very seriously, “but you seem like you could use a hug. So… can I?”

For some reason, his question seemed to cause Zuko great consternation, but after a long moment, Zuko said, “I… guess?”

“Okay,” Aang smiled. “Just tell me when you want me to let go.” With that said, he shifted so that he could hug Zuko properly, pulling Zuko into him and pressing their chests together.

Zuko was tense in his arms and he kept his touch gentle, not wanting to aggravate the unknown injuries Zuko definitely had.

It was kind of awkward, just sitting in silence, hugging someone who was stiff as a board, but Aang ignored that, focusing on offering whatever comfort he could.

He didn’t know what was wrong or why Zuko was upset, but he did know that he liked Zuko and he didn’t like Zuko being unhappy.

So he held Zuko close and gradually, Zuko’s muscles unwound. At some point, Zuko even tilted his face into Aang’s shoulder, hands coming up to clutch at the back of Aang’s shirt. Aang smiled slightly, leaning his weight into Zuko and slowly rubbing Zuko’s back.

They stayed like that for a long time, just circling in the air above the village their families were in and hugging tightly.

And finally, a fun little distraction

Aside from Uncle, it had been a very long time since anyone had hugged Zuko. And even Uncle didn’t do it often.

It was… kind of nice?

Embarrassing beyond belief that he needed it, but he could admit that after waaaaaaay too long spent hugging Aang, he… did actually feel a little bit better. It hadn’t fixed anything, but he felt sort of like it had grounded him. There was still a typhoon of thought and emotion in his head, but he’d managed to push it down enough that he felt like he could actually breathe.

Unfortunately, that meant that he then had to acknowledge the part where he’d basically just broken down in his enemy’s arms.

He flushed, swallowing uncomfortably and drawing away with a mumbled apology.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Aang said softly. “Are you okay?”

Zuko opened his mouth to respond and then realized that he didn’t have an answer. He… wasn’t entirely sure he knew what it meant to be okay.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Aang’s smile was compassionate in a way that made Zuko feel exposed like a raw wound.

“No!” he lashed out with a scowl.

“Okay,” Aang said easily. “If you decide you do wanna talk about it, you’re welcome to come to me any time. In the meantime, do you wanna do a barrel roll?”

Zuko’s face was probably a fascinating thing to study as different emotions flashed through his mind.

But honestly, that did sound pretty cool.

“Yeah,” he decided, setting aside all the things he didn’t know how to feel about.

“Great!” Aang grinned. “Hang on to my arm, just in case. Appa knows what he’s doing, but it’s still best to be careful with people who can’t fly.”

The barrel roll was actually completely amazing and Zuko actually felt a smile pulling at his lips. It was an unfamiliar feeling.

#atla #wip wednesday #zuko x aang #zukaang #i mean really pretty gen #but the INTENT is to get there at some point #lord only knows if that will happen #season 2 au

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