#and also suicidal but mostly scared of him

[psin314]

Hello! I was scrolling through your BSky and was wondering the story behind your OCs Sean and Eugene, also if you plan on doing more art for them.

glad you asked anon! so so glad!!! sean and eugene (i call them yush) - one of my strongest ocs hyperfixations ever, i love them so much. but i'll try to tell about them as short as possible. (everything's under the cut!!)

also more art? easy. i made them in 2019...

funny pics:

pretty pics:

spicy pics: somewhere on their th pages.

a little about the world they live in (i unofficially call it ryzhebes. i made it in 2017 and it still doesn't have a proper name...):

it's almost like our world but hell and heaven, angels and demons + witches exist here too. hell and heaven look pretty ordinary and modern, no lava pools or screams of horror and pain. satan is a tired workaholic, and god uuh angels say he's a nice guy. demons and angels mostly don't care about humans (also humanity doesn't know that all this exists), but some of them love to have their vacations there (all of them can use "magical" disguises to hide their supernatural features and look like humans). after death humans go either to hell or to heaven, where they live a slightly better or slightly worse second life. of course there are some naughty demons (or even angels) who love to do shit like in movies like the exorcist but there aren't that many of them. (i can write more info about this universe if anyone's interested, but let's keep it short for this post.)

so! about my boys. the first version of them was much darker with catholic guilt and a suicide attempt but I don't want them to suffer so they're simply in love and very happy now.

eugene black is a 42 yo demon, a tattoo artist with an engineering degree who knows 20+ languages. loves to drink beer, smoke cigarettes and act like a cool guy in leather with a motorcycle (he can't afford a motorcycle. he lives with his mom. but he can afford a leather jacket and pants.) (also he's silly.) he's a stutterer, has problems with pronouncing the letters d t p, sometimes n and m. and he doesn't really care. loves to talk. sensitive and romantic guy, will do everything for the people he loves. loves his family, has 5 siblings. has health problems, needs to eat a lot, almost all the money he has he spends on food and still can't gain weight much. has a supernatural ability - can teleport wherever he wants, just needs to know the place or see the needed place on the map. (he uses math and physics for this but no one would understand him anyway.) has problems with teleporting from closed spaces.

father sean farrell is a 30 yo catholic priest from ireland. traumatized childhood, father issues, long depression episodes but he's mostly okay now. although anxiety can't leave this man alone. very kind, supportive, understanding and friendly person. he is very non-aggressive and easily controls himself during an argument. loves to listen and help people. although he's a simple priest, goes to the gym and plays rugby regularly. he's… big and strong. (also getting tired physically everyday helps him fall asleep peacefully.) never been in a romantic or sexual relationship before eugene.

how they met.

1994. eugene lost a bet to his friend and had to go to any random church and steal something. hungover, somehow disguised, he went there in the morning and got right to mass. he had to stay and listen. but somewhere along the way he fell asleep. unexpectedly for eugene, someone started trying to wake him up, holding him by the shoulder. it was this priest who was reading mass. the sleeping man smelled of beer and cigarettes, but he slept so soundly that sean was even a little scared. when he finally woke him up, eugene mumbled something unintelligible (probably his name??) and ran away. sean didn't understand anything. and eugene fell head over heels in love, because the priest turned out to be very pretty.

eugene returned to the church in the evening. in his demon form, because he thought that he would quickly go there, steal what he needed and leave. but he crossed paths with father sean there, who was delayed there to clean up. eugene didn't lose his composure, said hello, joked, tried to come up with a reason for his presence. but sean was silent and looked at him strangely. eugene looked at his hands and realized that the priest was now seeing a demon in front of him. as soon as he raised his head, he received a thick bible book in his face. eugene tried to calm him down, sean wanted to hit him with the book again. but eugene managed to grab him by the wrist and carry him with him to hell.

they fell on top of each other on the road near eugene's house. sean was starting to get hysterical, but eugene, sitting on top of him, grabbed him by the hands and very angrily asked him to calm down and that nothing bad would happen. surprisingly, this calmed sean down. he noticed eugene's nose was bleeding and gave him a handkerchief… (sean thought it was because of the bible blow but teleportation took a lot of eugene's strength. now he'll have to wait until he rests to be able to bring sean back.)

sean looked around, hell looked… nice. normal. an ordinary suburb of a small town. trees are blooming, it smells like normal evening air and and the rain that has just passed. then they went to eugene's house, luckily his mother wasn't home, he made sean some green tea and told him a little about hell, demons, himself and his stupid bet. sean was mostly silent because he was in shock. then a couple of hours later he brought sean back. they went their separate ways.

eugene couldn't stop thinking about sean, he fell in love, he wanted to see him again. sean couldn't sleep either. he had to rethink his whole life, but it didn't work out very well, there was too much of new information. as a result, eugene returned to the church after some time. this time sean noticed him first and immediately ran to him, to discuss reality.

they started talking to each other. first on the topic of the universe, and then moved on to personal topics. started seeing each other more often. it didn't affect sean's faith much in the end, although he almost had 7 nervous breakdowns at once. being a priest still made sense and he continued to do what he always did. he already sort of knew that all this existed. just not in the form that he imagined.

(yes, there are no classic demon-priest relationships here, where the demon seduces the priest and destroys him. it's a romcom. :))

well and yes, after a few months their talking to each other turned into romantic interest. sean slowly fell in love with eugene. he didn't really care that eugene was a man, he wasn't homophobic but he couldn't come out yet. he was naturally worried that eugene was a DEMON and also... celibate yeah. he had never had a relationship, but what he felt for eugene was a very pleasant feeling.

so a few weeks later of what should i do what should i do, one warm evening, sean kissed eugene, and then quickly ran away, because they almost got seen. they met that same night, in the park, in their usual place, where no one would see them. sean wanted to tell eugene that he did it by accident without thinking, they need to stop this, but this time eugene came to kiss him and sean forgot about everything. now they were kissing properly. sean didn't know what to do, this was all wrong, but he really liked eugene. they talked about it and decided to have secret meetings.

after some time it led to sex ofc... after it sean was kind of happy, but also worried even more. one part of him said that this needed to end, and the other part said that he loved eugene. sean told him about it again. they both came to the conclusion that they love each other. eugene didn't want to ruin sean's life so he doesn't mind becoming the priest's secret wife.

im talking to much sorry, and this part to this day isn't properly explained haha ​​sorry x2 i just want them to be happy.

well, in the end. they continue to date and love each other, keeping their secret. (eugene's whole family and his best friends know that he's fucking a priest.)

(sean said that eugene's like a star for him, that of all the billions of shining stars, he found the brightest one. and eugene didn't know that he can say things like that. maybe i'll redraw and repost it someday idk.)

[scoobydoodean]

Hello<3

I was wondering if you had any thoughts on how fandom misconstrues Dean's relationship with alcohol?

There is so much emphasis on making him out to be a violent mean drunk, but I mostly remember that he drinks and like passes out when he's grieving or stressed (iirc) (s6 PTSD, Soulless sam, when Cas dies, etc.)? It's weird to me because Dean isn't the only character to go through this. Bobby relies on drinking too. He's exactly as gruff as Dean can be. He also had an abusive father. Yet I don't usually see people judging Bobby for that (if they exist, I haven't seen them at least thank God).

I get frustrated when people say things like the MoC was a direct metaphor for alcoholism just because it made Dean sooo violent and angry, etc. And, it's like an unrealistic understanding of alcoholism irl and also of Dean himself and his actual actions and context. I just get weirdly defensive of him over it lol.

If you've already hashed this out I'm sry! At the end of the day, it's all just interpretation ig, but I wanted to know your take on it cause ik you'd look at dean with a good faith lens.

<3

One could say I have had thoughts on how fandom misconstrues Dean's relationship with alcohol. One could even say I have spawned extremely funny multi-day fandom-wide disk horses on this subject simply by giving my opinion on my own blog when an anon asked me to.

I'm tracking Dean's relationship with alcohol (and other substances bc I was too lazy to make two separate tags) through #dean and drugs during my rewatch if you care to peruse, but I think you and I are of a similar mind on this.

Prior to season 4, Dean has a very average relationship with alcohol. In season 4, Dean starts using alcohol as a coping tool to help him fall asleep because he's having nightmares about hell. By season 6, alcohol is also a coping tool for depression and stress. He drinks to deal with nightmares, he drinks to cope with hell trauma, he drinks after soulless Sam watches his sexual assault with a smile, he drinks after Cas swallows all the souls and Death blames Dean for everything, he drinks throughout season 7 to cope with Cas's death and Bobby's death. I'm up to 8.01 and have yet to see a single occasion where Dean drinking and Dean being violent co-occurred. What I do see is Dean drinking when he is sad, alone, or scared.

I'll continue tracking—I'll eventually get back into the MoC arc where Dean is drinking heavily again, and obviously Dean + drinking + anger + violence are all going to happen at the same time in MoC seasons. However, correlation does not equal causation, and while someone can choose to believe that Dean's drinking causes him to be angry, I think the literal answer in season 9/10 is that Dean's been cursed by the father of murder, and on a more metaphorical level, the Mark of Cain quite overtly represents Dean's resentment toward Sam which Carver spends his entire run laying out in great detail. This is why the whole Carver run culminates in Amara (a Dean parallel) being unleashed to take revenge on her brother, and why the MoC is a brother murderer curse to begin with. Alcohol is set dressing. It shows us—just as it did in the past—that Dean feels sad, alone, and scared (in this case, of what the MoC could lead him to do—which also isn't dissimilar from the original reason Dean started drinking—after hell to cope with the trauma of not just being tortured but torturing others—the fear that he'd been made into a monster).

Looking at the matter holistically, I don't personally see Dean as an angry drunk. I see him as a sad drunk. If anything, I think he hopes that alcohol will drown his anger and violent urges in the MoC arc, or at least slow him down, while also being the traditional tool he uses during boughts of depression (which he is very much experiencing during the MoC arc to the point of suicide). I also think outside the outlier of season 9/10, the narrative supports sad drunk Dean far better than angry drunk Dean.

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 28/10✨

I'll be streaming on my Twitch page TOMORROW at 1PM ET!

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will MK have a power neither Wukong nor Macaque have ?

Probably something that is a mix of each parent power, creating something new. Like- He can hear the past, but can also use his gold vision. SO maybe he learns not only to hear to past, but also see it (but maybe instead of being gold the vision is purple)

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does MK have nightmares about LBD or Azures death or something? @the-ninja-girl-in-blue ha chiesto: I swear for some reason, even after returning back to his normal age, I still can’t help but picture MK having a nightmare in the middle of the night and just starts chirping in his sleep because of it and that ends up getting the attention of his two monkey dads. I can’t help but picture them either waking him up and asking him about the nightmare into his bed to cuddle with him to hopefully calm him down. I also kind of like the idea of them offering to let him stay in their bed with them for the night. basically, I just wanna see them comforting MK after he has a nightmare. For some reason, I could see the nightmare being about either LBD or about the ending of season five when he attempts suicide.

Yes he does have nightmares about that. He usually does, most times he's at Pigsy's, and Freenoodle is there to help him. He hasn't had a LBD nightmare at FFM yet, but even as an adult he would totally chirp without noticing it.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Angst idea what if heaven was scared of MK being the "harbinger of chaos" and took him away as a baby locking him away instead. It's up to you if wukong knew of his existence before he was taken. Eventually someone or something releases him. MK Finds out why he was locked away and just goes on a rampage through heaven bonus angst wukong has to stop him

Do heaven even knew he was the harbinger of chaos? Like seriously I don't remember if it was ever stated in the show. Honestly is crazy no one picked up that kid aurea. Makes you wonder who te fuck put such a powerful glamour on him when he was found by Pigsy.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hi :D i wanted to say that i LOOOVE the bioparents au, it's so lovely 💖 and, i must ask, will we get more cliché scenes with our little monkeys? like accidental fall or something on this lines? i need my clichés back 😭😭

eeehhhhh maybe? I'm not too much of a fan of clichè I'll be honest, mostly bc I see them around all the time and I prefer to do something new.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be funny if MK started subconsciously mimicking things from his friends and family. little things like putting his shoes the same way Teng does. Standing in the same posture as Mei. Ext. Monkeys often will mimic each other as a sign of fondness and affection. Monkey see monkey do.

I think he already does that in the show with Wukong sometimes! It's super cute!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Okay hear me out, since mk kinda saw their past and everything. Does mk possibly have small abandonment issues (not that he doesn’t already) and does he hear little moments in the past of macaque and Wukong’s pain. By the way I absolutely love your art!!! I check your page everyday. 💕

I think if he ever said that to Wukong he'll make sure that every.single.day. he reminds him that he'll never leave his side.

@tinyplanetss ha chiesto: regarding the latest biodads update, did wukong ever know that macaque panicked and lashed out way back then due to seeing his "betrayal" in his future vision? i can't imagine it would've come up before he mentioned it to mk, unless they had a talk about it after their rooftop apology.....

I think they talked about it during the night Wukong apologized to Macaque. The comic I did stops after a certain point but they talked all night about what happened.

Anonimo ha chiesto: (Macaque on some late night mission): I've got to get back before Wukong realizes I'm not in bed. (Wukong who woke up and had a nightmare): Macaque.. MACAQUE

They can't stand being apart anymore now.

@eerieqloss ha chiesto: Wait I got a question, at the beginning of the Shadowpeach bio parent AU When they found out MK was their son biologically through Nuwa of course. But how did they get to her and ask her? I don't know why this question just randomly appeared in my head

Now that MK "opened the gate" access to other deities is much more easier.

@bottyshaker-900o ha chiesto: Wait! Does MK know they sleep together now!?

He did 2+2.

@youroriku ha chiesto: If MK monkey form is showing more or will there be a comic where he lost Control over it ?Recently, fewer people talk about it. Btw i love your art ❤️🌸🫶

mmm... Maybe not in my current timeline. Maybe more in the future. I don't think MK himself wants to loose control again like with Azure

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hii love your art! Wouldn't it be funny if someone was trying to have a serious conversation with Wukong and Macaque and baby MK is just climbing all over their shoulders and they're completely unfaced by it cuz it's like 'yeah this is normal just let him play' but whoever they're talking with can't focus on anything but MK's shinanigans.

hehehe baby shenanigans my beloved

Anonimo ha chiesto: I'll admit I'm more into the chubby, dad bod gang for Wukong but the way you draw buff wukong also makes me happy too! ^-^

Thank you!

@ketsuruithekiller ha chiesto: I like to suffer. So I would like to know if Wukong still has thoughts of guilt. If he fully accepted Mk's decision not to be his successor, without having the idea that like others he would hate it and leave at some point.

ye he does sometimes have the paranoia. But MK is there also to remind him that he'll always be in his life.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Are Wukong and Macaque, in your bio parents au, back together? Or is it a situationship? I'm sorry if it's already been stated in the story or if you've already answered something like this. I'm just a brain-dead potato who loves your comic.

Nah they still are in the progress of having to forgive each other but they are very much in a situationship.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Ello Ello, do you think any of the three monkeys would know how to take care of a sick person? Or would they just have to go to sandy or pigsy or someone?

I think yes. Canonically by JTTW, Wukong is an expert in many fields, including medicine. But I do wonder if sometimes he forget after so many years of reclusion that people can get sick.

Anonimo ha chiesto: So Wukong was stuck in the memory of MK sacrificing himself ? Was it identical to the scene in season 5 or was his dream different ? Poor Wukong looked so traumatized

It was the same as S5

Anonimo ha chiesto: I love, LOVE your bio au! I enjoy a lot!!!! Question! Wukong and Macaque have any chance to go to a date?

mmm maybe in the future

Anonimo ha chiesto: I know Is not the case but At some point, hasn't Pigsy felt a little jealous or strange of how MK goes directly to Wukong or Macacke when he has a problem?

I think Freenoodle is taking the opportunity of having the second set of parents to annoy the heck out of them and redirect all the akward questions and advices the kid ask them because "we had to do it for 21 years now you get to have the annoying part of parenting as well"

@azureandcrimson ha chiesto: Hello!! I absolutely love your art and I am currently watching your twitch (Which I can't log into and type in chat for some reason😭) but anyways. I also have a question if you ship Mei with anyone? Like a side character or Spindrax or someone else or if you make her Aroace or just don't generally ship her or smth! :) But besides that I love your art style and the way you draw everything!! Thank you for drawing this stuff and feeding my LMK hyperfixation!!

I do also ship Dragon fruit. Just in my comic I kind of had to choose one ship for now.

wolfsonic ha chiesto: Since we know WuKong is the bottom of ShadowPeach. Who's the bottom in SpiceyNoodles?

MMMMMMMMM TOO SOON TO SAY.

@draxeanlxia ha chiesto: Bio!Parents AU question, who does the laundry and who’s not allowed to touch the laundry because he’ll ruin your clothes without meaning to? For me, I think Wukong would be the one doing laundry while Macaque isn’t allowed near the washing machine. But that’s just me, what’s yours?

yeah seems fitting!

Anonimo ha chiesto: If MK started blushing when he saw Red Son in his true form I wonder how he would react to seeing Red Son shirtless with muscles and abs in that form XD

I headcanon MK as demisexual so probably he would notice and appreciate the aesthetic attraction but wouldn't be TOO flustered. In this case, it's RedSon who's the Wukong of the two of them (being flustered by like, seeing 2% of MK back or smt.)

Anonimo ha chiesto: So I wondered if Xiaotian's powers were like Steven's, since they responded to his emotions

yep.

Anonimo ha chiesto: If they decide to have a baby who will be pregnant macaque or wukong!?

I think I said it already once but I don't think that's how baby Stone Monkeys are born??? Like how would carry a stone inside your body work that's the thing. There's is to say they are demons who knows how they work honestly.

Anonimo ha chiesto:Will the calabash return ?

nope

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does Mei have a true form? Doesn’t seem fair that MK and Red Son have super forms and Mei doesn’t. I think she should be able to be a straight up dragon.

Doesn't she already goes straight up dragon in the show?

@phantom-premeir ha chiesto: Okay this is a pretty dumb question but I gotta know, out of the monkey trio whose the biggest crash out,just an absolute mess of a person?

I think Wukong

Anonimo ha chiesto: Are we gonna see a wedding of these gay monkeys?

Who knows.

@azureandcrimson ha chiesto:Oh my gosh, the new chapter is amazing, now we defiantly know Macaque has probably courtnapped Wukong >:3 I also have another question! Perhaps in the future will Macaques sacrifice be brought up? Like, yeah, he came back. But the guy was gone for days and who knows what he saw in there and/or what memories he saw because he was probably stuck in those for days. But just wondering if you might bring that up in the future? :) Make sure to take breaks, drink water and eat something!! >:(

Oh yeah that ahah. Maybe?

Anonimo ha chiesto: Imagine MK's sacrifice in season 5 would happen AFTER Macaque and Wukong found out that he is their son. This would make it even more heartbreaking

Bruh... Xiaotian wouldn't have been able to move an inch again from Wukong after he came back.

@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Wait... Is Wukong going to have to find a new successor now that MK won't be it?

Maybe what he will look for wont be a successor.... but an heir.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Is the monkey's tail sensitive or smt!? I mean what will happen if u pull it ?

We r getting into NSFW territory here...

Anonimo ha chiesto:who do u think is the fluffiest monkey? Also what happens if said monkey got towel dried and poofed up?

MK, becasue he's a cub by stone monkey standard. He would become a fur ball.

arrow-artzz ha chiesto: Hello! I just wanna say, I love your art style and this whole ShadowPeach parent au ur making and I get so hyped and excited when I see a new part/ep come out!! I hope ur having fun with it and keep up the great work, you do a fantastic job, and you also inspire me to keep trying small art projects at home!! I truly hope you’re having a wonderful night, after noon or night! also think it would be cute if the whole gang did a movie night (Halloween movie) at FFM and one scene comes up and macaque used Wukong as a shield as if the movie was real :3 sorry this was long I tap a lot “^^

I think Wukong would be the one scared. Macaque is literally has sleep paralysis monsters has pets

[yanderes-galore]

50.) "If it means both of us must perish, so be it!" With a yandere Kaido who threatens his forced wife reader , that if his time has come he’s dragging her along with him , please if this request makes you uncomfortable you can delete this no worries;)

Sure! I'm sorry if this is short or not entirely accurate... I haven't actually seen his arc yet but I really like his character!

Yandere! Kaido Prompt 50

"If it means both of us must perish, so be it!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Suicidal behavior (Kaido), Murder, Blood, Kidnapping, You want him dead, Heavy drinking, Forced marriage/relationship.

In the time you've known Kaido... you've learned his nature well. You know him and his title... a force to be reckoned with. He's the world's strongest creature, and Emperor of The Sea...

He's a powerful being driven by war... it defines him... the power is like a drug to him...

Yet such a beast feels oddly... leashed to you, a mere human.

You knew Kaido as your captor. To you, that's all he ever was. No matter how many times Kaido would call himself your husband... He was really just your captor.

You were forced to play his wife, living in Onigashima in Wano Country. You don't typically be affectionate to the beast who calls himself your husband. Yet you also know not to fight him when he requests attention from his wife.

You learned of his habits through watching him. It's the only thing that you felt you could bring yourself to do other than seeing Kaido slaughter those around him. You didn't like to think about that.

Kaido adores war and fights, he often spoke about honor on the battlefield to you. As his wife, you quietly listened as he rambled, no doubt drunk on some alcoholic substance. You knew he loved his alcohol just as much as he adored fighting... and you, apparently.

Another thing you noted was Kaido's... wish for death. That was another thing he rambled about endlessly to you. He spoke fondly of war, violence, and the glory that comes from dying in battle.

These conversations were normal between you and Kaido. He's a warmongering emperor who does anything for battle. Him talking about dying was... oddly common and normal when it came to him specifically.

As his wife you also knew of Kaido's attempts on his own life. Due to being a nearly indestructible beast, said attempts never succeed. However, part of you always seems to hope they will.

Mostly so you can be let out of this hell.

Kaido's obsession with death never really concerned you at this point. He's been like this since your capture years ago. You used to be part of a crew...

Now you're meant to be a beast's plaything, it seems.

You've grown used to your prayers not being answered when Kaido comes back to you. Sometimes you just wish someone strong enough will do the deed already. That way you both get what you want...

Kaido gets his glory and you get your freedom.

Until then, you're forced to sit on him while he drowns himself in his alcohol. You can only listen to his talks about idolizing death and dream of it. Not for you...

Just him.

Although, as time went on, his ramblings changed... and it scared you.

Kaido starts rambling about you. At first it's all strange compliments and pet names. He calls you his pretty little wife... his little mouse and toy. He talks about loving and keeping you forever, laughing as he holds you while you stay silent.

Then he brings up dying again... This time together.

He fantasizes about it despite your sudden tense expression. He gleefully rambles about glory, but this time with you by his side. He tells you that you're his, that he can't leave you all alone...

He tells you that if... when you two die together...

It will complete you both.

You were used to him keeping his death fantasy to himself. But now he seemed too... connected with you to let you go. He tells you that you two will only ever truly be perfect when you die together.

He brings it up more and more and it only makes you more concerned. After all... this is a sudden switch. You really don't have an escape now... do you?

You often think of Kaido's words now... His dark fantasies and delusional ramblings...

You only ever seem to think of them more often once he calls war on those Straw Hat pirates.

"It will be a glorious fight!" Kaido calls to you in your home, an excited grin on his face. You've rarely seen him grin.

"I haven't had a strong opponent in a long time, my love..." Kaido growls, eyes staring down at your smaller form. "I want you there for it."

You freeze when Kaido picks you up like a doll, his grin haunting.

"I want you to witness our greatness! I want you to be there encouraging me! You are my wife, mine forever... You will witness glory, my dearest..."

You then feel Kaido squeeze you a bit, making you feel nauseous as you realize what all of this means...

"I plan to experience glory, my love... I need to feel complete with you." Kaido admits, a large finger running down your back.

There's a momentary silence as Kaido stares down at you, seemingly contemplating something. You can't seem to find the air to breathe when he looks down at you. This is it... isn't it?

"If it means both of us must perish, so be it!" Kaido suddenly roars in laughter, holding you against his chest as he begins to leave your home.

You're shaking but Kaido only seems to find it amusing. He keeps you close, making his way to his newest battlefield. This felt like your Judgement Day...

Today, you die.

"Do not be so fearful..." Kaido suddenly scoffs, eyes looking down at you.

"You should be looking forward to this, wife... Today, we experience greatness! We experience glory and completion..."

Kaido then pulls you up to his face, a sinister grin on his face.

"I want you by my side when I die..." Kaido tightens his grip, glaring as he notices your nervous behavior. "You won't run, you will obey your husband. Today... You and I will be complete..."

You then feel him apply pressure to your midsection, a warning and order that forces you into desperate compliance.

Kaido makes one more roaring laughter as he continues to carry you...

"Today... We die together... Now and forever, you are mine and mine alone."

[acesw]

Reverse: 1999 : Disabled Characters

The game doesn't stray too far on the neurodivergent allegory for the arcanists themselves. But at the same time, there are also inclusions of other characters who are very much known to be disabled. So for this post I'll delve into that, just a bit.

Now, there are 10 characters that I want to put in the spotlight. These mostly lean towards being canon, but a part of these are also researched upon and shortened so the post doesn’t become way too long.

Cristallo, Rabies, Erick : Chronic Illness

It's quite self explanatory that Cristallo herself has a chronic illness. She was born prematurely, with an added condition that makes her physically fragile. As seen in the game, she needs a life-support system to maintain her health when she's outside. It's also implied that her condition may be a recurrent cancer, as her arcane abilities are tied to a machine that provides cobalt therapy, a known advancement in radiotherapy in the post-WWII era.

Rabies is an odd case. In his stories, it's noted that Adam cured Alicia through unknown means at the cost of contracting rabies himself. However, instead of the virus being acute and guaranteed to be fatal, it becomes a chronic illness to Rabies due to the abundance and use of arcanum. And since the rabies virus attacks the brain, his cognitive capabilities and ability to recall things before the present had been impaired, making him rather docile and animal-like in nature as a result.

Erick, as revealed in her anecdote, has a hereditary blood condition that came with her arcane skill. With her arcane skill making her physically powerful, overusing it will accelerate the effects of her blood condition to the point that it can become fatal. To prevent this, she also inherited an armband from her grandfather, Harald. The armband suppresses one's ability to use arcane skills, but by extension it also prevents Erick's condition getting worse.

Shamane : Amputee

Shamane's circumstances are also self-explanatory. He lost his arm for unknown reasons, but after having lived without it for 20 years, it doesn't bother him anymore. However as we know, he crafted his prosthetic arm as a means to avoid scaring kids. (which I think is quite cool in itself)

Ms. Radio, Bessmert : Blindness

Ms. Radio and our new friend, Bessmert, are both canonically blind. Ms. Radio has stated that she cannot see, and asks Vertin to left in places where she can feel temperatures to make her feel at peace.

And as we know, Yenisei (or in other words, Yenisei's VA) has stated in the 1.6 livestream that Bessmert is known to be blind, but even with that, she's a great researcher and guide to her.

Mesmer Jr. : OCD [Content Warning: Mentions of Self Harm and Suicide.]

Mesmer Jr.'s character has heavily implied throughout the main story and her own to have OCD as a result of the traumatic experiences she had gone through from her field of work and her family’s history in it. She identifies that she has "incurable" anxiety, which causes her to think differently about arcanists and act a little irrationally from our own perspective. This anxiety results in double checking everything and having a slightly intensive routine.

This routine is created as a means to maintain herself and her own sanity, but an imbalance or interruption can greatly upset her. As a result, she has conflicting ideals, experiences hallucinations and panic attacks, has suicidal thoughts, and actively inflicts self harm as a means to cope with her anxiety. However, she’s calmer and at peace with herself when she's left alone in a quieter and clean space, away from others, and where nature is heard more than constant buzzing. In short, Mesmer Jr.’s mental health is really complex and would be better if it's explored in a separate post.

Baby Blue : Alice in Wonderland syndrome

It's no secret that Baby Blue has Alice in Wonderland syndrome, or in other words dysmetropsia. This affects her perception of reality and her ability to recall, but this in turn makes her arcane abilities all the more powerful. As a result, she doesn't realize that she's growing up, yet it seems she doesn't mind that much. This doesn't seem to affect her physically either; In fact, it has a heavy influence on how she displays her arcane skills.

Poltergeist : Social Anxiety

Poltergeist has been known to be anxious in social settings which conflicts with her people-pleasing tendencies. She's also insecure about herself which adds up to her not wanting to be directly perceived. At the same time, she doesn't like being left alone as a result of having been ignored and forgotten post mortem. Poltergeist is also elaborate (i.e. not wanting to be looked at for too long) yet awkward at the same time when communicating them.

However, I'm not sure how to describe Poltergeist's case quite well, but the idea of her having social anxiety resonates greatly in my mind, so it can be treated as a partial headcanon.

Balloon Party : Autism and Speech Impairment

Balloon Party as a child had contracted an illness that caused her to have a persistent high fever. In the end, she awakened her arcane skill this way, with her being able to cough up balloons that can be harmful or a cure to anything.

However, it might have also affected her speech because of the physical strain that comes from coughing, it results to BP's speech being a bit slow and having abnormal pauses before she speaks again. Though, this also might be a sign of her possibly also having autism, where rigid and uneven language development is a common pattern in how autism affects one's ability in communication. Her speech also has a pattern of echolalia, having a flat tone, and lack of control of it.

However, speech impediment isn't everything about autism, and there's a lot more about BP's character that also connects with it such as her special interests. I can better explore this in a different post, which will be explained below.

Last Notes

These are the characters I’ve written down, most of these are less headcanon and more of observations I’ve found when looking into these characters. Some people from the lore chat have also added their own insights on some of them. (Thank you lupjo for beta-reading through it and helping me out) 

Of course, there are a few more characters I want to discuss because of the implications of them having autism / ADHD, but these will be written in another post in the future because I still need to research and gather other information. Additionally, it would be an opportunity to talk about the connections between an arcanist’s and neurodivergent person’s relationships with modern society.

Congrats for reaching the bottom of this post, and feel free to add your own ideas or headcanons about the characters here and/or any other ones.

[inotaku-talkz]

I CAN’T DO THIS WITHOUT U- KDH

warnings: death, suicide, ptsd, reader’s number is 057, story mostly told from Jun-hee’s perspective

You were worried. You were scared. You saw the look on your husband’s face as he stood by his comrades.

His PTSD was kicking in.

His labored breathing, his frantic and wild eyes looking any and everywhere. You rush to his side. Cupping his face, reeling in his attention.

“Dae” There was a pause in your words. “Don’t go, stay with me please.”

He was pulled away by Jung-bae. They left the room to fight against the guards.

You weren’t religious but man did you pray that moment.

You prayed for the safety of your friends, the safety of your husband.

“Jun-hee, they’re gonna be okay. I promise we’ll be home soon. We’ll get home and you’ll have dinner with me and Dae-ho. We’ll take such good care of you.” You try and calm the younger girl. She was worried and she could tell you were too. She could see your visible concern for Dae-ho. “Don’t stress yourself, dear.” You plant a hand on her cheek.

She was like your little sister. You were like a big sister to her, she stuck to you since you helped her in Red light, Green light.

Your attention whipped towards some commotion. It was Dae-ho searching for ammo from the bodies of the dead guards. She watched as you and Player 007 raid bodies for ammo.

Jun-hee stood by you as Dae-ho left again, also as he ran back and cornered himself in the corner of the dorms.

You stood by his side, consoling him as his trauma clouded his judgement.

“You can’t!” He yelled as you took the ammo to run it back to Hyun-ju. She stood by as he tried to grip your wrist, but you’re too quick.

“Player 390, eliminated.”

Jun-hee felt Dae-ho trembling.

A ex-marine trying to save his ex-wife and daughter from loan sharks? Dead.

“Player 246, eliminated.”

She heard a choked sob from Hyun-ju.

A man who just wanted to return to his sick daughter? Dead.

“Player 057, eliminated.”

A wife who just wanted to relieve the pressure her husband faced? Dead.

Dae-ho froze. The shaking stopped, he didn’t scream and he didn’t deny it.

Jun-hee felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Guem-ja. “Give him some time, dear.” She guided Jun-hee away from Dae-ho. In retrospect, she shouldn’t have left his side.

She woke up for breakfast. She looked over at Dae-ho sitting up with his head on his knees and walked over to him.

“Mr. Kang. It’s time to eat.” She nudged his side.

She nudged his knee, it limped and his body slumped to the side.

A knife sticking out of his heart.

“Player 388, eliminated.”

A husband who couldn’t handle the loss of his wife?

Dead.

[mswolfette]

LMK Sun Wukong Passive Suicidal Ideation Theory Part 2: Wukong's Low Self-Worth/Wukong's Immortal Curse

TW: Suicide and Suicidal Ideation

Alright, Part 2. Now I want to particularly discuss how despite Wukong's arrogant and egotistical facade, he truly thinks of himself as extremely lowly, leading to his more reckless and even suicidal tendencies.

Strike 1: S4E1 as he mentions to MK "You've done much more than I have ever done in my entire lifetime!"

While this is definitely can be a compliment, it's a compliment at the expense of himself. He downplays his own achievements due to his own insecurities about his failures and how he's messed up so badly. He sees MK as surpassing him, the good that he can most likely never become.

Strike 2: S4E11, he laments about making too many mistakes. not being able to live up to his original goal: Protecting the ones he cared so much about.

Wukong doesn't believe in himself to prove to the world that he can be better. So much has gone wrong in his life and the lives of others because of his actions, and when confronted, he essentially is so broken and worn down he loses all hope.

The third instance is S5E9, with the final mention before he tries to sacrifice himself: "The world needs you more than it needs me, bud."

Again, views himself as washed up, unable to be of use anymore. In his eyes, he might believe, "I'm unworthy to really be a hero of this world".

On top of this, Wukong seems to have a complicated relationship with his immortality. The way he seems to address it is always in a negative connotation.

This starts with the gag in S1E7 in which he meditates about being an immortal being while looking horrified at the aspect of never being able to die. While some could argue this could just be a funny gag (we know Wukong also jokes to lighten the mood in S3E14), if we look at it from a serious lens, Wukong seems to be scared of never being able to die. 

And on top of that, we need to keep some stuff in mind. Everyone else around him has died off, reincarnated, etc (with the exception of the celestials but he’s not that close to most of them). He’s had to put down his Brotherhood one by one, he’s had to watch each of the great companions die off and now he’s left with their reincarnations. He’s the only one who’s stayed alive while everyone else has left. Wukong chose immortality before he could ever reckon with the consequences of immortality. And thus maybe he wants out.

(Also this Apology Scene is too good to not bring up-)

Wukong also mentions something of interest. That according to him in s3e14, “I’d never thought I’d live as long as I had-” Which has several implications to discuss about. The idea that he thought he would’ve somehow ended up dead due to some of his several reckless actions as a use to go out, or even somehow the celestial realm could’ve found a way to murder him. Did he think he’d eventually find himself ending his life one way or another? We don’t know but the dialogue here is quite concerning, especially since he is immortal.

But that's it for the mostly speculative evidence.

In the next and final part, I do want to try and address how Wukong correlates to the symptoms found in passive ideation as well as discuss some counterarguments.

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

know its for the better

Words: 2733

Warnings: angst, talks of a miscarriage, body image, talks of difficulty staying pregnant, mention of what is technically a still-birth, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-medicating, accidental suicide attempt, probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever

DC Masterlist Main Masterlist Join My Taglist

Part 2 for "Love Thorns All Over This Rose"

I decided to make this be longer than just two part, so this'll be a sort of mini-series

I just want to leave another TW here: if you have ever suffered through a miscarriage or any type of child loss, please proceed with caution. I do heavily talk about how Y/N feels after suffering through that and do talk about her feeling like a failure of a woman and other things. I just want everyone to know that if you feel triggered by that, I apologize and I don't want anyone to be upset over what I wrote

I also want to say that I personally have never gone through. What I write in this, is purely based off of what I have read in other fics or stories as well as seen people talk online. I am trying not to offend anyone and if I do in any of the part that I talk about those things; I severely apologize.

Reminder that Alfred is dead in this so that's why he isn't here!

The POV here still isn't really consistent. It jumps between being with the Batkids, Bruce, and Y/N's. I tried to make it flow though so hopefully that works!

Reminder that Bruce and Y/N's ages don't matter (I'm not in the mood to deal with that) but; Dick is 31 (and married to Kori but that's not too important), Jason is 25, Tim is 22, Damian is 15, Cass is 24, and Steph is 23

Also a reminder that I also am not too familiar with Duke, so that is why he isn't there much. Mostly just mentioned

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

All that he knew was that he walked in on his dad doing CPR on his mom.

That was all he knew.

That was all Dick knew.

3 Months Ago

Y/N tightened her grip around her purse, the people were following her too closely. She knew this. The light was still out, she kept reminding her that. Kept telling herself that no one would try to kidnap her in broad daylight.

But oh how wrong she was.

She should have known better. She grew up in Gotham. She should have known better.

----

Now

Three days had passed since everything happened. Bruce had refused to leave the hospital. He wondered if it was from guilt of not being there for her other times. Or if he was just filling in his obligation as a husband. Or maybe...maybe Dick was right and he was just doing all he could to preserve his image.

But none of that mattered. Bruce was staying until she woke up. Because she had to wake up. He had to show her that he still cared. That he still loved her. That he knows...he knows how much of a horrible person he has been to her for the past month.

He had to make sure she knew that he regretted it. Every word he said to her that night.

But every sign scared him. They had already had to resuscitate her since getting here. The tube was stuck down her throat, helping her to breathe. Nurses looking at him with pity, making him feel foolish for holding out hope that she would be okay. With every look that they gave him, there was a sort of emptiness and despair settling into his stomach.

Almost as if he agreed with them.

But he couldn't. He couldn't be agreeing with them. It wouldn't be useless holding out hope that she would be okay.

He ran his thumb over her palm, his eyes glancing up her arm and body until they landed on the raised skin on her collarbone. His hand that wasn't holding hers, come up to run over it. One of the many reminders of what happened 3 months ago.

----

3 Months Ago

Y/N woke up groggily. Her head was pounding and she felt like she had been dropped from a tall building. She blinked, trying to see something, anything, but as her eyes opened, she wished she could go back to seeing nothing.

She was sure that she was in the sewers. The damp and musky smell with the sound of water dripping down the old stone walls and floors around her made her all too aware of where she was. She tried swallowed any saliva, but her mouth was dry. Tears pricked her eyes from pain as she carefully pushed herself up.

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she gingerly touched her stomach. Involuntarily, her own body flinched back from her touch. She felt her air catch in her throat as she felt nothing moving. In the past month or so, her baby had been moving all the time, leading her on to many sleepless nights.

Deep down, she knew. She knew that her baby was dead. And she knew that there was nothing to be done about it.

She jumped back as she heard the sound of shoes pounding against the damp stones. She tried to move away from the only place that someone could come from, but with her hands and legs being tied together, it was harder than expected. She slipped slightly, her side hitting the stone hard.

Three men, with honestly average builds, stalked into the area. She breathed raggedly as she watched them continue towards her. She tried to push away as one grabbed her arm and forcibly pulled her up, a yelp of surprise and pain left her mouth as she was pulled to her feet.

These three men were normal. They weren't some goons or some chemically induced maniacs. They were normal.

And maybe that scared her more.

One of the men, who she assumed was the leader, walked up to her, knife raised. Her eyes darted between him, his associates, and the knife. Any self-defense training that Bruce had taught her, flew out the window as she stood before these men.

"When the situation arises, you'll remember what to do."

That was what Bruce had always told her. But here she was. In the situation and nothing was showing up in her mind as what she was supposed to do.

She leaned back as the guy leaned in but the one with the grip on her arm moved one of his hands to hold her head and make her look at him. She shook as she felt the knife against her collarbone.

A small whimper of pain left her mouth as she felt the knife push deeper, deep enough that it would scar over, before she was pushed back to the ground. The one with the knife gave her a sadistic smile before hoarsely whispering, "We're going to make sure Bruce Wayne finds you dead."

She stared in near terror as she held her hand over where they had sliced and watched as they left just as quickly as they had came.

----

Now

Jason stood in a corner away from Y/N's body. Even with the tube gone, she still didn't wake up. Although she had made some developments...some in the past 8 days that she had been in here and everyone had convinced Bruce to go home and get some proper sleep. So now here Jason was, standing in a room where the woman he had allowed to become his mom was laying still.

But he stayed away from her body.

Something he didn't say often was just how scared he can get. He remembers each time he's been absolutely terrified. When Bruce, well Batman, caught him stealing the wheels to the Batmobile. When he was stuck in that warehouse and Bruce didn't make it in time. When he saw Y/N again for the first time since his "death" and he thought that she would hate him for what he had done. When she was taken. Those words he heard Bruce hurling at Y/N.

And right now.

Jason was keeping his composure, but inside, he was a trembling and terrified child. A kid who just needed to know his mom was going to be alright.

Inside, he knew exactly how Damian was feeling.

But as he stared at her body, his mind couldn't stop drifting, remembering what he had heard that night 4 weeks ago. All he could do was wonder what would have happened if maybe, just maybe, he had gotten angry at Bruce for what he heard.

----

4 Weeks Ago

It was nearly 2 AM when Jason was going to sneak out of the Manor. Technically, it was easy to do, well...it was once he got passed Bruce and Y/N's room. So, he was as silent as he could be as he passed by. But he stopped in his tracks as he heard the voices from behind the cracked door.

Now, Jason wouldn't say he was noisy. But don't all kids stop and listen whenever they hear their parents arguing?

But they weren't arguing. No. He had heard that before. This wasn't it. This was different.

And it scared him.

He stood by the door as Bruce's voice got louder: "--Well I'm sorry that I'm not here anymore Y/N! But can you fucking blame me?"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Her voice was low, warning him to think before he spoke.

"You didn't pay attention and got taken. You and your inability to pay attention to your surroundings got our baby killed."

She sucked in a breath, "You think I don't blame myself already, Bruce? Do you think that I don't wonder what would have happened if I just hadn't gone out that day?"

"Please, this doesn't affect you. You're perfectly fucking fine."

"Because I have to be!" She nearly screamed, "One of us has to be a parent to everyone else in this home and we both know it won't be you!"

"They aren't even your kids, Y/N, why do you--"

A loud slap echoed and Jason's hand went over his mouth as he continued to listen.

"Those kids are mine. I am the one who helped raise them. I am the one who has made sacrifices for them! You haven't done shit for them, ever." She let out a choked back laugh, "All I did was ask for you to be here with me, to understand what I am feeling and going through. But of course, you don't understand anything."

"I understand that you killed our baby."

"No Bruce. Those men came after me to hurt you. You are the reason I was taken and lost our baby. But sure," Her voice started to break, "Go on. Blame me. I'm used to you doing that anyways.

----

Now

Jason breathed shakily as he grabbed his helmet and stormed out of the room. He knew Dick would be there soon with Damian anyways and he had to get out of there.

--------

Dick watched as Damian laid curled into Y/N's side. Bruce was, miraculously, still sleeping as he and Damian snuck out to the hospital. He didn't do it much for himself as he did it for Damian, he knew that the kid had a sort of...guilt that he could have done something.

Not that Dick could say anything against that. He felt guilty as well.

Y/N was his mom. He was the oldest son. He should have protected her, that was his job. Dick was the protector. He was always supposed to protect everyone. Y/N and even Bruce included. He already had been in this situation before. The immense guilt of failing to protect Y/N.

He remembers what he thought that first time he was here. Remembers the guilt of already failing to keep Alfred alive and not wanting to fail Y/N.

----

3 Months Ago

Dick ran through the sewers, trying to find Y/N. Two days had passed since she had gone missing. All of them had lost sleep trying to find her and now they were searching the sewers for where she could be. He felt like a failure, a bad kid, all because he didn't

He stopped in his tracks as he heard her labored breathing. He turned in the direction that he heard the breathing, his own getting caught in his throat when he saw her laying in the fetal position.

"Mom." He breathed out, rushing to kneel by her side. He gently grabbed her face and looked at her, tears pooling in his eyes. "Mom, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He failed. Guilt filling with him. Guilt of failing Alfred and now her.

He was a failure and he knew that.

"You-you're not a--"

----

Now

"--A failure."

He stopped and looked at Y/N, his eyes wide. "Mom?"

Her head was turned to the side, a small look of gentle concern on her face. "You're not a failure Dick." She whispered through a hoarse voice, "You didn't fail anyone. Especially not me."

But he shook his head. He did. Not once. But twice. First being after she was taken and now this.

"Dick, stop that. The only person here that failed was me."

He got up and angrily wiped the tears from his eyes, "But I-I just...you never--"

Her hand shakily came up to touch his face, "I'm the one who failed sugar. I should've..."

She stopped, hand leaving his to rub her neck. Out of instinct of all the times waking up from injuries, he grabbed her the bottle of water he had grabbed earlier. Unscrewing the lid, he gently brought it to her lips and she quickly took a gulp of it.

After a moment, she gently held his wrist. "Dick, look at me and believe me when I tell you that it's not your fault. You did nothing wrong." Her grip tighten on his wrist for a moment, "You or your siblings." She glanced over at Damian, her arm wrapped around the kid who was now sleeping. "You all had nothing that you could do." She looked back at him, "Everything that happened, that I did, was nothing to do with you kids. It um...it--"

"Has to do with dad?"

She nodded silently before breathing shakily, "I know Jason heard what Bruce and I said. Ahd I um...I assume that--"

He stopped her, his head shaking. "He didn't tell us anything."

"Oh." She sucked in a breath, "Let's just say, both your father and I say things that we shouldn't have. Not saying they weren't truthful...that deep down we didn't mean each and every word that passed our lips...but you kids aren't to blame."

Dick swallowed hard, "Why did you do it mom?"

Her hand fell from his wrist and she looked away, out to the window. "You don't understand how I felt after everything--"

----

6 Weeks Ago

Y/N silently stared out the window. Her hands mindlessly moving up and down her now flatter stomach. She felt disgusting and like a failure. A failure as a wife and as a mother and...as a woman. She was hurting. Not physically, sure her entire body was in pain, but mentally, she was in much more pain.

Her head snapped as she heard the door open. She saw Bruce standing at the door, an almost uncomfortable look on his face. She shakily looked away, ashamed to even look at him.

She heard his almost scoff, "Y/N, come on. You need to talk about it."

She looked at him slightly before whispering with a strained voice, "So do you."

"Y/N, I didn't...nevermind." She looked away again as he walked further in, "Doctors said that you'll be able to leave soon. By the end of the week at most."

She nodded, "Alright." Her voice nearly numb and void of emotion. She turned her head to him, "You always gonna hate me now?"

Bruce sighed, "I don't...I don't hate you."

"Why not?" Her words started to lace with their own venom, "I lost our baby. Because I'm such a..."

He shook his head, "Don't finish that sentence. You are not a failure baby. It wasn't your fault. None of what happened was your fault. You weren't gonna know that someone was going to come after you.

----

Now

"Y/N?" She felt herself freeze when she heard the voice. She kept her eyes everywhere but at the door. She didn't want to see him. Not here. Not now. "Dick can you--"

"Mom doesn't want to see you."

"Dick you don't--"

"Dick it's okay." She whispered, looking at her oldest. "Take Damian down to the food court, force him to eat some junk."

"Mom--"

"Go." She whispered before he silently nodded and grabbed the younger boy, starting to carry him out of the room. She weakly gripped the blanket, "Why are you here?"

"Can I not visit my wife."

She shook her head, "I am not your wife, Bruce." She looked at him angrily, "You're the one who served the fucking papers."

"And I can't--"

"Bruce, you told me that the only reason you were letting me stay in the manor was for the kids. Was so that Damian didn't have to losing another person." She breathed angrily, "You stopped loving me, not the other way around. You're only here to keep up appearances that you are a loving and devoted husband." She leaned forward in his direction, "But I know exactly what you are."

"And what's that?" He challenged.

"A selfish coward who only cares for himself and his image."

He shook his head, "I'm sorry that I made you think so lowly of me."

Tears burned her eyes, "Get out."

"Y/N--"

"Get out, Bruce. Now."

He stood and started for the door, momentarily stopping to look at her. "I still love you, I know what I did and what I said shows otherwise, but all I ask for is one more chance and I'll prove it to you."

Her lip quivered for a moment before she whispered out, "Tell the nurses I woke up."

[coffee-master]

Hey, so how does look Nezha's character development? I'm slightly confused. As child he's rebelious and after Ao Bing's death he starts listening to his father- But then he's feral also in his teenage years?

Ok, so I'll explain as good as I can.

1. Childhood [1-12] :

As Child Nezha was cheerfull and energetic kid, who was a little troublemaker. He was a symbol of changes and rebelion.

He was very confident and strong. He mostly didn't like to listen because either he didn't like someone's opinion or he wanted to explore the world in his own way.

He also was very rude to people who were assholes, or thought of him as a monster because of his strength.

2. Ao Bing's death:

After Nezha accidentally killed Ao Bing, his curious and adventurous spirit was broken.

Why did it happened?

3. Nezha's suicide:

A scared child child who regreted killing his friend, putting the whole village in danger and not listening to his father, who warned him.

4. Nezha's comming back to life FIRST DAYS:

As soon as Nezha got new body from his master, his piority was to make sure that his village would be safe. So once with new powers, he faced Ao Guang making sure that he wouldn't try to attack them.

Ao Guang let go easily, since it wasn't important for him anymore, and also called Nezha a monster, as the child was walking away.

For the next two weeks Nezha didn't spoke a word with anyone, due to the shock of all those events.

5. Later pre-teen:

"If you just listened to me, none of that would have ever happened!"

6. Teenage years:

After this Nezha is fully loyal to his father and listens to him without a second doubt. He becomes a great soldier who defeats demons and monsters without any hesitation.

Despite him listening to his father, he's very brutal, when it comes to fights. He doesn't respect his opponents or show any mercy. He's very brutal. Like to inhumanitary way. (tearing apart limbs, making them suffer, mocking them if they think they've got a chance in survival)

But Li Jing doesn't mind, since he's doing his job perfectly.

So Nezha is obedient, but also feral.

He blames himself nonstop for Ao Bing's death and cannot look in the mirror, since he see himself as a monster. "If you're already a monster then at least you can do something usefull with it"

Nezha doesn't mind killing demons, since he also see them as main piority of danger to his family. That's also why he is so devoted to this.

Nevertheless, that's also the main reason why he works solo. Nobody wants to be near him, they see danger in him and are terrified of him. Even though Nezha wouldn't hurt them (becuase his father didn't tell him to) they are still too afraid.

Nezha's older brothers saw what was happening to their younger brother and wanted to help, but Nezha was a little too deep into this dark void to simply get out..

7. Wukong:

Sometimes once you meet someone who is similary as broke as you (or maybe even worse) you can actually feel like someone actually understands you.

Sometimes it is better. Sometimes it is worse.

Fortunatelly, for Nezha Wukong was a nice break from his thoughts.

They drank and had fun. Nobody judged you how many blood was on your fingers, what mistakes you've made in life. They drank, sung and danced all day and night. They were making funny pranks and other weird stuff.

It was pure fun!!!

Well at first at least..

One time the he broke a little at said out too much. Surprisingly Wukong also opened up and it turned out they both killed the people they once loved.

That night Nezha broke down crying and Wukong stayed strong and hugged him, until the boy felt asleep.

Sun Wukong also reasurred him that he in fact was not a monster, which was hard for Nezha to belive.

For a short time Wukong used to be Nezha's weird emotional support.

Nevertheless he was still obedient to his father. No matter what.

And later Nezha & Ao Bing met in Fensheng war, where everything slowly started getting better for Nezha.

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[kryaaas]

Some thoughts about Harry and Jean’s partnership

on a related note of my post that Harry only started to get worse in the last 4 month, I think that Harry & Jean partnership were like...not that bad? I think they bonded over of being sad depressed "old men". They were probably codependent but mostly from Jean's side because Jean felt insecure thay he cant be as good of a detective as Harry but overall they worked fine. Maybe they drank or took drugs together on the weekends but nothing too bad

Then Harry's burnout worsen and thats where majority of issues start: Harry starts to wear disco clothes, scare away coworkers, not coming to work etc., and Jean needs to cover for him, which obviously makes him angry and frustrated

But definitely dont think Jean was "abused". Why is Jean so hurt when Harry told him to fuck off during the bender if Harry was always terrible to him? It doesnt make sense to me

Now if we can consider that Harry was mostly a “good”, responsible cop for the most of partnership and Jean always looked up to him - now it makes so sense why jean is so upset and is in denial of Harry's amnesia. Jean's image of the Perfect Detective has shattered and he cant face the disappointment. He is in denial that someone like Harry, a cop he admired, could stood so low and become the laughing stock in the precinct and doesnt want to accept that, maybe, something like that could happen with Jean himself in the future

So to me their conflict comes from that Jean wants to be a more respected cop while Harry doesn't want to be cop at all anymore

Jean dressing in a wig and sunglasses does show some nice things about their relationship where Jean wanted to make up with Harry and that they used to have inside jokes

But it also shows how Jean, despite knowing Harry for a long time, still cant understand the full scale of Harry's mental breakdown

Oh he is on a bender and crying and screaming? He just needs time off, I guess, he will be fine. Oh Harry still hasn't returned from Martinaise? Thats weird. Maybe I pretend to be G Bevy that would cheer him up? yeah that would be funny (Meanwhile: Harry committed at least three suicide attempts and and experiences the horrors beyond the human comprehension)

[ldma-boodyshaker900]

OLT Au Mikey

So guys we already have Donnie's Sheet, We have Leo's Sheet, and we Have April's Sheet so i think It Time For Mikey's Sheet, don't worry Raph's sheet is almost done.

I'll leave some info, Closer looks and another version Of The Sheet Under cut!:

But before You go down we have Some Tw!

⚠️Tw trauma, Tw Injuries, Tw Suicidal mention, Tw Dead, Tw Strong Topics and Tw Depression , Tw Bright Colors, Character Dead⚠️:

🧡Here comes The info!🧡

Mikey is kinda Older Then he was In The Movie since His dead was some Months after The Invacion .

Mikey has long hair from his Ninpō and Also from his slightly bigger age .

Unlike Leo, Mikey's pupils are not displayed naturally, much like Raph's, as they are mostly glowing rather than having pupils.

As we can see Mikey's Arms and Hands have Eyes and Cracks this are from The try he did on trying to get Leo out Of Prision Dimention But since he only had Donnie as Support this didn't work, causing His Arms to get wounded and Leo to die in The Prison dimencion .

Mikey is literally caged in a The Black Void, a place that can be reached by meditating, but trapped here as are Leo and Raph's ghosts, as Donnie won't let them go for fear of forgetting them .

Although Raph and Leo can move around The Black Void, Mikey is the only one who cannot freely move from his spot as he is chained to the surface he is on, He is usually unable to leave or move away from this place .

As we can see Mikey uses His Cape and Hoodie like In The Bad Future aus, This is Because Donnie Gifted this to Him some Weeks before he died and he was wearing It when he died so he stuck with It .

Mikey's way Of Being and Acting isnt exacly how it usted to be In The series, or movie, or Even after The Invacion, His whole way Of Acting changed When he became stuck on The Black Void, His usal calm and Gentle actitude changed to a Mean and Angry one, Being Usually unstable while talking to Donnie .

Like i mentioned on April's Sheet, April can't Really see The Ghost Siblings like Donnie Does, But she can see little details Of when any Of Them are close, in The case Of Mikey, April can't Really see or Hear Him, neighter feel Him, But In Mikey's case The Whole are In which her is makes The place look more Orange, like it had a Orange Aura all around The Spot .

Despice Mikey's body being full Of Cracks There is one specific spot In which he has The Biggest Crack, Which Is on His Shell, His Shell has a Big Crack That covers most Of The top part Of His Shell, This Crack reflecs in His Ghost Form since he made It to himself while trying to break out Of His chains while In The Black Void .

Mikey tends to do Conversations with April Even Thought she can hear him and That he know That she can't, he Still does It, talking to her For hours and following her Along The lair while he does so .

Mikey gets Very bored Being stuck on The same spot always, not being able to walk Along with his Brothers In The Black Void, so Usually Raph or Leo come to talk to Him , Sitting besides His spot Just chating .

Mikey tends to swear more than he used to, specialy When Raph isnt around, Swearing a Lot Even to Donnie .

Mikey's official nickname is Angelo and Angel He is called like This by all of the Siblingins even Ralph and April, But Donnie and Leo call him Michael some times to annoy him by calling Mikey Michael Jackson .

Usually Mikey Yells at Donnie a Lot, Blaming Him For The situacion That he , Leo and Raph are In, mostly His, usualy yelling how he Hated what he is And what he has done to Him .

Mikey's voice is more Raspy and Kinda has A robotic like distant echo on It, this is cause In The Black Void he Barely speaks, Cause The Echo scares Raphie so he Usually uses sign lenguaje around Raph .

Mikey has bipolar disorder Being this one Of the principal reasons of His usual Emotions change When It comes to be with Donnie and Even Speaking to Leo and Raph, Resulting this into Moments In which he Even Snaps at Them out Of The sudent while chating .

Despice The hard feeling That Mikey has For Donnie he dosen't really hate Him, Very Usually conforting Him When necessary or hurting and threatening any person That hurts or insults Donnie.

Well guys i hope You like it!

Have a Great week and a Great Day!

Lord Bless You!

❤️💙💜🧡

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Please give us more Mafia boss Charlie!!

Sure thing! Since there wasn’t a specific prompt requested, I wrote a yandere ABC list for Charlie, which was also requested by @isabellanobody at one point a while back. Hope y’all enjoy!

Yandere mafia boss ABC’s

Gn! Reader

Warnings: Typical yandere behavior, mentions of murder, kidnapping, drugging, psychological torture, isolation, suicide, delusional behavior, unhealthy relationships

Alphabet credit goes to @yanderecrazysie

Divider credit goes to @sweetmelodygraphics

Affection-(How affectionate is he with his darling and how would he show his affection?)

Charlie’s extremely affectionate with his darling, if they’ll let him be at least. As stoic and cold as he is, Charlie wants nothing more than to curl up with his darling and spend all his time with them, never letting them go. Nobody will ever see him as soft and gentle as he wants to be except for his darling, nor will they see him as considerate.

Charlie mostly shows his affection through gentle touches and soft spoken compliments, but he also showers his darling with thoughtful gifts as a sign of his devotion, paying close attention to his darling’s likes when shopping. He also tries to spend as much time as possible with his darling, just the two of them, although his job isn’t always so accommodating to that aspect of his wants.

Blood-(How messy will he get for his darling? What would he do?)

There is very, very little Charlie wouldn’t do for his darling. He is a mafia boss, after all. It doesn’t matter the severity of another person's actions or affections, Charlie will do whatever it takes to keep his darling “safe” (as he likes to think) from anyone who could take you away from him. Murder, blackmail, torture, drugging, it’s all on the table, and he’ll do it with a sick smile on his face. All for his darling, he likes to think. All for them.

Of course, Charlie’s not delusional enough to forget how traumatizing and brutal such actions would seem to you, if you were to find out. The last thing he wants is to scare you, so he always makes sure there’s no chance you’ll find out what he’s done. He’ll do his business far from where you could accidentally walk in, and he makes sure to clean up afterwards, not a trace left behind. You’ll be none the wiser, and he’ll sleep well knowing he’s taken care of you.

Care-(How would he treat his darling?)

Charlie practically worships the ground his darling walks on, he wouldn’t dare do anything to hurt them, whether physically or emotionally (minus kidnapping ig). He would treat his darling with the utmost respect, but at the same time treats them like they’ll break under too much pressure. Anything that could stress his darling out will be removed from their life, giving his darling a life of complete comfort and luxury. Contrary to Charlie’s normal life, he tries to be as respectful of his darling’s boundaries as possible, he wants them to know he sees them as more than the average people he deals with every day. Overall, very soft with his darling, and only his darling.

Delusion-(How delusional is he? Does he truly believe his darling loves him?)

Charlie’s logical enough to understand that his darling won’t start off loving him (especially if he kidnaps them), but he definitely deludes himself into believing that after enough time, they’ll grow to love him just as much as he loves them. He understands their initial fear of him and what he can do, but at the same time he takes any sign of increased boldness or conversation as proof that his darling is falling for him. I think after enough time has passed, Charlie will definitely believe his darling has fallen head over heels for him, whether they show him affection or not. He’ll start fully referring to his darling as his spouse by then, acting even more couply than before, and if his darling protests that they don’t love him? Well, they’re just afraid to admit they’ve fallen for him, right?

…Right?

Escape-(Is it easy for his darling to escape? How would he react if his darling managed to escape?)

Because of how wealthy he is and because of how many precautions he has around the house, Charlie doesn’t have any reason to worry his darling will escape. So if they were somehow able to bypass his security and get out (which is nearly impossible), Charlie is frantic. He won’t be able to function, he becomes the living embodiment of violence and impulsiveness until his darling is back with him, safe in his arms. He’ll stop at nothing to find his darling, exhausting every resource he has until they’re found. His rivals better hope they don’t run into him during this time, unless they want to lose their lives.

Fight-(How would he handle his darling fighting back?)

He’ll be amused, at least at first. Regardless of his darling’s skill level, there’s no way they’re gonna be able to physically beat him, a literal mafia boss. It’s like watching a child throw a temper tantrum, he finds it cute that they think they have any authority over him and how he takes care of them. However, he begins to tire of the constant defiance after a while, so after a bit of leaving his darling be, he’ll begin to snap back, reminding his darling of all the horrible things that could happen to them away from his watchful, protective gaze.

He doesn’t want to move into anything more aggressive, but if his darling’s complaints don’t relent, then…well, punishment might be in order.

Guilt-(Does he feel any guilt over his actions? What would make him feel guilty?)

Charlie doesn’t necessarily feel guilt per say, but he does hate how much distress he’s put his darling under. In his eyes, he didn’t do anything wrong, because he’s protecting his darling, keeping them away from anything that could hurt him. That mentality will never change, but the pangs of guilt will come visit every now and then whenever they express grief over their old life in front of him. Despite his unwillingness to understand his wrongdoings, Charlie still can’t shake the sadness he feels at taking something important from them, no matter his justifications.

Despite his guilt, Charlie will still do everything in his power to protect his darling the way he feels is necessary, no matter the effect it has on them. He still has a sense of superiority, as if he knows better than his darling ever could, so he’ll ignore the pain he’s causing in favor of what he thinks is the greater good.

Hell-(What would his darling’s worst experience be with him?)

For a regular darling, Charlie won’t do anything worse than giving them space to the point of feeling isolated. He hates the idea of treating his darling roughly, and the last thing he wants is to scare them anymore than he already has. It would take a lot for Charlie to do anything traumatizing to his darling, but if they were to repeatedly escape or worse, attempt to murder Charlie, he’d have no choice.

Charlie will never physically hurt his darling, no matter how far they go. His punishment would be more mental, scaring his darling into submission. He’d chain them down somewhere and force them to watch recordings of other organizations, particularly his rivals, as they viciously punish those who have gone against them. Charlie makes it clear to his darling that nothing is stopping this exact thing from happening to his darling, nothing except him, that is. He hates to do it, but Charlie hopes by the end of the experience, his darling will be too scared to attempt something so rash again.

However, this would only be in the worst worst case scenario. More likely than not, Charlie will never feel the need to do something so traumatizing.

Ideals-(What kind of future does Charlie want with his darling?)

Honestly, anything goes with Charlie in terms of the future. Above all else he wants to retire from the mafia and live peacefully with his darling without having to worry about work, but before that can happen, he’s fine with whatever. Kids? Eh, sure! Just the two of them? Sure! Whatever his darling wants they’ll get, so long as they stay by Charlie’s side.

Jealousy-(How easy is it for him to get jealous? How does he deal with it?)

Charlie is an incredibly jealous man, but he won’t take it out on his darling. Oh no, his raging anger is reserved for whoever took his darling’s attention away from him. Anything from a small, longing look in his darling’s direction to touches or attempted flirting sends Charlie over the edge, and he makes sure to coldly send them packing before whisking his darling away for some well needed, reassuring cuddle time. He’s noticeably more clingy when jealous, possessive words and compliments spilling from his mouth as he hugs his darling tighter, but he makes sure to keep his bubbling rage under control, lest he scare his darling away.

Most of the time Charlie won’t do anything more than snap at the person after his darling or punch them if they get feisty enough, but if he feels the person who made him jealous is enough of a threat, Charlie will find them and kill them, no questions asked (not in view of his darling, of course). They’d never be able to take his darling away from him, but better safe than sorry, right?

Kidnapping-(Does he kidnap his darling, and if so, how does he do it?)

Unless Charlie’s darling is someone already knows and trusts to stay by his side, he absolutely will kidnap his darling. He’ll end up drugging them until they’re securely in his home and all of their stuff has been moved to their new room, unwilling to leave even the slightest thing up to chance. Besides his burning desire to be with them, his reasoning for the kidnapping is that his darling is a civilian, so he needs them to be nearby in order to protect them. He knows about all the horrors of the world, but his darling doesn’t. How else is he supposed to keep them safe?

Rest assured, his darling will be as comfortable as possible during the transfer and following days. He’ll personally make sure of it.

Love letters-(How does he approach/court his darling?)

In most cases, the kidnapping would be the approaching. Going out to personally pursue his darling in public would be incredibly dangerous for both Charlie and his darling, so he really sees no other option. After the kidnapping however, Charlie will shower his darling with gifts and affection, hoping to win them over with his grand displays of love. He’ll give his darling space if that’s what they need, but the loving gestures never slow, not until Charlie feels they’ve been together long enough to begin really knowing each other.

Mask-(Is his true personality any different from how he normally behaved? Which side of his personality does his darling see?)

Charlie’s personality does a whole 180 around his darling, but in the opposite way that most would expect from a Yandere. He becomes much more kind and gentle around his darling, a sight no one who works with him would ever be privy to seeing. It’s like he can finally open up and show a softer side to someone instead of constantly embodying violence and anger. Not that those aren’t a part of his personality, but he gets to shed those parts of him around his darling, someone he could never view as worthy of his wrath.

Naughty-(How would he punish his darling?)

As stated before, Charlie will never physically hurt his darling, and in the worst case scenario, he’ll subject them to psychological torture rather than physical. For regular disobedience though, he’ll simply isolate his darling. He won’t take anything away from them, he’ll just lock them in their room for a couple of days, dropping off food and snacks every so often so that his darling won’t starve. The lack of human contact will eventually become too much for his darling no matter how introverted they are, and they’ll have no choice but to beg for his forgiveness. That’s how he sees it, anyway.

Oppression-(What rights would he take from his darling, and would he ever give them back?)

At first, Charlie would restrict his darling’s movements to just his house. A big house, but just the house nonetheless. As time goes on and his darling learns to behave, Charlie will begin letting them out as long as he’s with them, going on fun dates or just to do seemingly mundane chores that he’s never had the chance to do normally. He’d never let his darling go out fully unsupervised, but it’s mostly out of concern for what could happen to his darling if they’re on their own rather than Charlie not trusting them to return.

I think he would also restrict his darling's access to friends/family for a long time, monitoring every interaction closely until he’s sure Stockholm syndrome has set in. At first he’d only let them text, then call, and once he’s sure they’re never going to leave him, he’ll allow them visits (with him tagging along, of course). He understands the importance of family and he doesn’t want his darling to hate him, so Charlie won’t keep his darling from them. As abnormal as his life is, deep down Charlie craves normalcy for both him and for his darling. As long as his darling’s family don’t try to take them away from him, he’ll allow them in his darling’s life.

All his darling has to do is behave.

Patience-(How patient is he with his darling?)

For someone as dangerous and impulsive as him, Charlie’s surprisingly patient with his darling. He’s aware that they’re probably afraid of him and what he can do, and that despite his justifications, kidnapping isn’t exactly normal. So he’ll accept his darling’s outbursts for a while, trying to be understanding of their fears. His life isn’t nearly the same as his darling’s after all, it would make sense for them to lash out.

It’s really until his darling tries to escape or do something else drastic that he’ll begin to be a little more strict, beginning to threaten possible punishments.

Quit-(If his darling successfully escaped, died, or left, would he be able to move on?)

If Charlie’s darling was no longer in the picture, he’d spiral into insanity and kill himself. His darling was the only thing tethering him to reality amongst his brutal life, how could he possibly survive without them? He became so reliant on them for comfort that their absence would leave him spiraling, unable to cope properly with the grief and anger. In an act of pure desperation, Charlie would end up shooting himself in the skull, ending his misery quickly and painlessly. He probably wouldn’t even realize he’s doing it before he’s already gone, but he wouldn’t regret it either way. At least there’s a chance he’ll see them again, if the afterlife is kinder to him than the living world was.

Rage-(How does he act when he’s angry, and how does he calm down?)

In general, Charlie is very aggressive when he’s angry, barking out orders and threatening his employees, even going so far as to murder depending on the circumstance. With his darling however…

Charlie rarely gets angry at his darling. He hates to scare them, and he knows his temper can get him into deep, inescapable trouble, so he does his best to keep his composure around his darling. When he does get angry, the worst he’ll do besides punishment is shout at his darling, which can be pretty scary considering how authoritative he is. His yells are never threats, only frustration over how stubborn his darling is and how he’s trying to protect them. Once it’s clear no one’s willing to back down, Charlie will go to some other part of the house before either crawling back to his darling to apologize, or beginning his darling’s punishment.

Soulmate-(How did he meet his darling and when did he fall in love with them?)

Charlie most likely met his darling while out on some sort of mundane errand or just around the public sphere. Literally just saw them once, had a single respectful conversation with them that started out of pure convenience, and he was hooked. He’s never been able to interact with anyone normally for the most part, and there was just something about his darling that drew him in from the get-go. Needless to say, he was ”in love” from the start, and would do anything to be with his darling forever.

Tears-(How does he feel when his darling cries or isolates themselves?)

Charlie hates to see his darling cry, let alone watch them isolate themselves. Is he really so bad that they’d willingly take solitude over him?

He’ll feel guilty then, knowing he’s the source of his darling’s misery, but he won’t back down, too desperate for their company to do what’s right. He’ll try to comfort them with words of reassurance and gentle touches, but if they want nothing to do with him, he’ll leave them be. He deludes himself into thinking that they just need time to adjust, and then they’ll come around, arms open and ready for his affection.

Unique/(What sets him apart from regular yanderes?)

Probably his respect for boundaries. He’ll kidnap his darling, but besides that he does his best to respect his darling’s wishes when it comes to physical contact/personal space/comfortability. The last thing he wants is to be a bad husband, so he’ll do anything to keep his darling happy. Anything besides freeing them, of course.

Visit-(Would he let people visit or communicate with his darling?)

As mentioned before, Charlie would let his darling talk to their friends and family in heavy moderation, getting more and more lenient as time passes. He’ll start with moderated texts, then calls, and then finally, when his darling is fully in love with him, actual visits. He’s good at covering his tracks so he has no problem disguising his darling’s prolonged absence as something different.

Weakness-(What weakness can his darling exploit for their benefit/to escape?)

Charlie’s a smart man, but his gentleness and lenience in terms of lashouts as well as his delusions would give his darling an opportunity to escape. If his darling just pretends to love him for long enough, they’ll gain much more freedom without question, and therefore can potentially escape when Charlie has his guard down enough. Still risky with all the precautions in place, but it’s as easy as it’s gonna get.

Xaonon-(Would he worship his darling? How far would he go to win them over?)

Charlie worships everything and anything his darling can do. Compared to the people he deals with in his daily life, his darling is so…pure. So fragile. They’re a symbol of what Charlie could never have achieved on his own, and he revers them for it. He’d do anything his darling asked (besides freeing them or leaving them of course), they could ask for the bodies of all his enemies and he would make it happen somehow. There is very, very little he wouldn’t do to make his darling fall in love with him.

Yearn-(How long would he pine after his darling before snapping?)

There is no waiting with Charlie. He meets his darling, finds out everything he can as quickly as he can, and then he kidnaps them. He wants his darling as quick as possible, so the only period he has to pine is during the time where he’s gathering information about them.

Zero Tolerance-(What would make him snap? What would he never tolerate his darling doing?)

Charlie’s very lenient, so most of his darling’s outbursts can be dealt with easily without much fuss. He’ll even tolerate an escape attempt or two if he can tell his darling is genuinely afraid of him. However, attempts on his life, multiple escape attempts, or lying to him about loving him will break him to the point of snapping. He wants to trust his darling so bad, but there’s only so much he can take before he loses his mind.

I hope you guys enjoyed!

[anonmousegosqueak]

Angst Time! (⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)

Gary is passively suicidal, it's kinda why he does all this reckless stuff. Price and Laswell only figured on like, a random Tuesday when he said this (the rest of the 141 were too busy to have lunch with them):

"So, just a question, how would you two feel if something happened to me?"

Price blinked, and so did Laswell before the former responded, "Ah, what, what do you mean by that?"

Gary shrugged, "I mean like...on the field or something."

There was a pause, "I...We wouldn't be happy about it, that's for sure...Why exactly are you asking?" Laswell asked.

"Ah, no reason, was just curious. Oh, actually now that I think about I've got something to finish u-"

"Sit your ass down, Sargent!" Both Price and Laswell yelled almost simultaneously.

They didn't exactly talk about it, Laswell and Price tried but he sorta blew them off. So, they both silently agreed to keep and eye on Gary.

Suddenly, Price seemed alot more stressed than angry whenever Gary would do something reckless. Laps around base were quietly replaced with long chats between the three in either Price or Laswell's office.

Roach see's himself as his name, a roach. You can find em' anywhere. So it's nothing special if one dies.

Price and Laswell haven't exactly told the rest of the team, as Gary doesn't seem to want to talk about it. But they've let it slip that they should try to make sure they include him and such. Laswell and Price makes sure to forcefully send him back to his mom schedule Gary a few more days on leave than others. Soap calls it favoritism.

(Also sorry this took so long, allergies suck .⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠·⁠.)

:(

Tw for suicidal ideations (obvs), mostly just sweetness from those who love Bugger.

Price

He knows, obviously. He was one of the first ones to talk to him. He's worried as well, I mean Roach is like a son to him. He's delt with suicidal soldiers before, it comes with the job, but something about the idea of Roach... Just not being there anymore? Not even because of a mission? I think he keeps the closest eye on Roach. Laswell isn't on the field with them very often so Price is the one who has to hold Roach back.

Laswell

She also knows. I think she's a bit more scared though, not being able to be with him. Whereas Price can be next to him, hold his hand and make sure he's safe, Kate is stuck behind a screen. She can't do anything but talk to him, close yet far at the same time. She's also the one who goes through all the paperwork to give Bug a longer leave with his mom.

Ghost

He doesn't "know" but he *knows*. He himself is uhhh- not so stable? He understands the thoughts in Gary's head, he can relate to many of them. He's much more of a silent support, being able to recognize when those thoughts get too heavy, and offering a solid shoulder to rest on. He doesn't talk about it, he doesn't make Gary talk, he simply stays there with him.

Soap

He doesn't get it but still somehow makes it better? Yeah he makes jokes about favouritism, but he also tends to add in little jokes. Like "Ack, Roach gets an extra week? Favorite child getting special treatment! What'll we do without him?" He then proceeds to cling to Gary like he'd die without him. It's dumb, he means it as a joke, but somehow Gary is always reminded whenever he thinks about what it would be like without him. Johnny makes sure to drill into him how much he would miss him, even when not knowing what's really going on in the bugs brain.

Gaz

Hubby. Sweetest husband. Loml. Kyle loves Gary so much and he makes it known. He hasn't picked up on the depression but he also understands. Everyone suffers from this job, even if he doesn't know just *how* much Gary suffers. He's absolutely following John and Kate's orders to make him feel included, bro is dragging Gary out for drinks. He likes to talk about their future together (something that really messes with Gary's "you don't need me" mentality) He also talks a lot about how unique Gary is, how he couldn't find anyone with a similar sense of humor, he couldn't find someone else he could hold as close as Roach.

Mama Sanderson

She knows the most. She grew up with the lad after all! She was there when he was first admitted to the grippy sock home for the first time as a teen, she was around to lock up sharps and make the house safe, she talked to therapists and such to learn how to care for her boy. She's not smothering, she won't baby him, but she understands. She's always there, even when it's the middle of the night and she gets a call from her son who's just so overwhelmed by bad thoughts. She actually deals with some dark thoughts of her own, she understands Gary and his pain. She'll always be there to help him for as long as she lives.

[dykemcqueen]

not the person who sent the ask that received these tags but... i too am a lover of egotistical asshole self sabotaging suicidal codependent protags. tell more about bartimaeus?

THE BARTIMAEUS TRILOGY by jonathan stroud is the greatest fantasy series for children ever written. it takes place in an alternate history london where magicians make up the ruling class. as was once true in real life, england is a massive colonial power with a baseless aristocracy that brutally oppresses the working class. the "commoners" believe that magicians have inherent power, but secretly all magicians are just educated in the art of summoning and controlling spirits (hatefully referred to by humans as "demons"). all western magicians of this period punish and abuse spirits into doing what they want, no exception, as has been the case in many places and in many time periods over the years. the spirits are just invisible, giving the magicians the illusion of power.

the series is about 3 people: nathaniel, a traumatized adolescent boy who rapidly starts sacrificing his morals for power and prestige in the cutthroat world of the magic elite; bartimaeus, an ancient all-powerful djinni that nathaniel relies on to do his dirty work; and kitty jones, a commoner whose friend is brutalized by a magician who is never brought to justice. it's actually also about a fourth person who died thousands of years ago, but that's a surprise tool that will help us later.

the story is about how these 3 lives intersectin a decade of political turmoil, as the commoners' oppression becomes untenable and foreign governments sick of the british empire's power seek to exploit its growing weaknesses. it's about how the power-hungry oligarchy cannibalizes itself, and how external political, cultural, and social forces shape the characters and their relationships.

it's about trauma and power and justice. it's about oppression and freedom and classism and colonialism and the many purposeful lies inherent in the system you believe you can't change (*cough* capitalism *cough*). it's about how connection to another person can change you. it's about recognizing who the real enemy is.

it's also, if you would believe it, riotously, insanely funny, mostly because bartimaeus—who narrates about 50% of it—is a sarcastic, irreverent drama queen who can never shut the hell up. he's been alive for 5000 years and he's made it this far by being avoidant and self-serving and bitchy and lucky. he thinks he's hot shit and he kind of is, but he's mostly just driven by a need to survive. he and nathaniel are friends but also not really. nathaniel is both scared of him and scared to lose him, and the series ultimately centers on their relationship, the wariness and abuse and dependence, and the way it changes as nathaniel changes. nathaniel also does go through severe depression, for that anon who was asking about lockwood.

the bartimaeus trilogy is tightly, deftly written, and one of the only kids' series that i think 100% holds up without caveats. there's a great balance of action, emotion, humor, character development, and plot, and the worldbuilding is insane—it's very smart and never overexplains anything. i can't recommend it enough. every character is written with such care and realism by a writer who Knows How to Write. it's so, so good. every fantasy fan should read it imo.

[narupilled]

ENSTARS WRITING BLOG IN THIS ECONOMY???!?!!? /pos

I don’t know if requests are still open, and you’re also free to ignore this since ik you prefer writing knights 🧍‍♀️But !! could I request a mayoi hurt comfort kind of fic where the reader is comforting him ❤️

Tysm in advance! Stan Arashi 🙏

“ reassurance “

૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა Pairings : Mayoi Ayase / GN!Reader

𐙚 Warnings : hurt to comfort (its mostly just comfort) , suicidal thoughts kinda

𐙚 You comfort Mayoi after he accidentally said something to you that he regrets :(

For Mayoi, living life was hard.

Living was one thing, but living with thoughts like his… it was terror to him.

Though, even with the hundreds of times he’s slipped up his words or blurted all his concerning thoughts out, you never stopped loving him.

Even when he accidentally blurts something that offends you.

He felt disgusted with himself, he didn’t deserve you. He wanted to slap some self into his past self. They’re gonna break up with me. Why did i even say that? Why—

“Mayoi…” You hugged him as tight as you could, his head immediately burying in your shoulder. Even with the pure hatred he had with himself right now, he still selfishly wanted your comfort.

“Ah… I-I’m so.. so sorry…” He swallowed, he closed his eyes, still on edge. He knew you were gonna end it with him. He just wanted to be near you before you left.

Expecting either scolding or dreadful words— he flinches yet again at how soft you sounded with him.

“I’m not mad with you, Mayoi.”

He pulled back slightly to look at you, his watery eyes wide with disbelief. “W-what…? But I- I said something so horrible… I… I hurt you—“ His voice cracked at the end, as his words came out tumbling due to his panicked state.

You gently reached up to cup his face, you rubbed your thumb on his cheek to soothe him. “I know you didn’t mean it. Were you scared?”

Mayoi bit his lip, his gaze darting downward. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He didn’t trust himself at all.

Despite that, you continued. “You’re harder on yourself than anyone else ever could be, Mayoi. But… you don’t have to carry all that guilt and pressure by yourself.”

He trembled. At each word you spoke, the harder it was for him to keep the tears at bay. “But… what if I do it again? What if I hurt you again?” His voice was as weak as ever, broken and raw.

“Then… then we’ll work through it together.” You said without hesitation. “I love you so much Mayoi, and love isn’t about perfection. You don’t have to be perfect for me. You’re enough just as you are.”

At your words, a tear slipped down his cheek. And then another. Before he could even think, he found himself burying his face in your shoulder again, the comfort of your body being his only solace.

“I-I don’t deserve you—“ He whimpered through his silent sobs, clinging onto you like you were the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely.

“No. No, you deserve so much more than you think.” You whispered, running your fingers through his hair. “I’ll remind you of that every single day if I have to.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, Mayoi allowed himself to believe, that maybe— just maybe, he wasn’t as broken or weird as he thought he was.

In your arms, the terror in his mind finally quieted, and for the first time, he finally felt safe enough to keep trying—to keep living.

Author’s Note : i love mayoi!!! Hes so pretty!!! Ahhgh sorry for not posting ++ with this being so short nd kinda buns… ive been playing too much obeymei its kinda unhealthy. And yes. Stan Arashi my wife!!!<3

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ thank you for reading !!! <3

[storkmuffin]

if i may "schwurbel" a little, as we say in german when we talk confidently about something we have absolutely no idea about, Yunho to me feels like someone who doesnt fully know or is comfortable with who he is or wants to be (hence the absorbtion of Yeosangs Geisha Persona, maybe?), and so he almost desperately tries to be the best Idol he can be because he's scared of not being liked otherwise. Kind of like what Mingi said in his early years, of overcompensating in his strengths on stage and comedic relief characterness because he feels like thats the inly thing he can bring to the table but this is not about him. not saying thats whats happening, but if i had to write him as a character, thats what i would go off of. TO ME, PERSONALLY, he reads like a very tragic character. but maybe that's all the crying gifs you've been reposting.

he puts so much effort into his idol persona and maintains it in such a strict way it kind of looks uncomfortable. maybe that's self protection from being perceived intimately by millions of people, which would be a smart thing to do in his profession, but in contrast to the other members, it feels so much harsher.

Like you said, he has this immense need to be liked and he goes about it with such focus it makes me wonder what he's "hiding". he's said himself there are parts of him that are too 'dark' to show atiny (and I cannot tell you enough how 👁👃👁 that makes me) but with what we've seen of the others that extreme caution seems kind of unnecessary? we've seen in seonghwas lego dungeon, they can literally torture someone to the brink of insanity (haha "SAN"ity), and we will gobble that shit up so honestly Yunho baby, how much worse can you get? BRING IT ON BIG BOY [excuse the shouting and lengthy message, i have been drinking with my brothers]

I have found a new favorite word: Schwurbel. I looked it up and the infinitive is schwurbeln and a person who does the schwurbel-ing (frankensteining languages is my favorite thing, vergeben Sie mir) is a Schwurbler. So like what's happening on my blog is Eine Schwurblerin schwurbelt hier? Is this right?

ANYWAYS.

That is so fascinating that Yunho looks tragic to you! This makes him so much more interesting than I think he actually is. LOL.

The role of what an Idol is supposed to be is kind of pre-set, in a lot of ways. I don't really know Idols and didn't know what was going on in the side content (or that there was so much of it) before getting into Stray Kids, but even I knew what was and wasn't allowed. This is what San is talking about when he tells of all members with Sir, You are an Idol.

Also, in the time since Yunho has been an Idol, a number of very terrifying things have happened in the industry he is a part of. Burning Sun, the suicides of a number of very successful Idols, both men and women, the normalization of sending funeral wreaths when The Fandom is displeased with an Idol, and the capitulation of SM to the Fandom pressure to eject that one kid from Riize. He himself had a very adverse hostile reaction from Atiny when he was rumored to have a girlfriend he was openly dating. There's also been an explosion of Idol groups as a business while at the same time the footprint of any particular Idol group, especially a male one, shrank dramatically within Korea. So it is worth it to Yunho to be very careful and deliberate on how he proceeds, especially because the absolutely intense amount of success the group has enjoyed abroad, where they are massively famous, seems to delight him very much.

Since we're schwurbeling (heh) here, I will say - if what Yunho is doing looks uncomfortable for him, you might just be less of a rigidly perfectionist and controlling person than he is. He's actually, mostly and usually, having a good time, from what I can tell. It's not uncomfortable to control yourself if you like controlling things. Does that make sense? I like driving myself to a corner. I like the exhaustion that comes from trying to meet the impossible. I'M TOTALLY NORMAL OKAY?

I don't think Yunho wants necessarily to have a genuine connection with the audience, with his real core self connecting with others. I think that's why the perverts Hottoks enjoy are invested in the Yunho crying content - the connection was made in spite of him. And this is the contradictory (and maybe possibly creepy? and if so, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you about this) thing about very controlling people with strong goal orientation and aggressive drive: We like it when other controlling people's Towers of Babel collapse. We're much more interested in the tender flesh that shows through the prism of the broken armor than someone who's just sitting out there shirtless. I am going to stop typing now because I've already said too much.

Oh one more thing though. He enjoys crying. He knows what he looks like. He deliberately doesn't wipe his tears once he's cried, if he is certain the make up with hold up. He's doing it on purpose.