#and also starting a new job with a good 40 minute commute

[skywitchmaja]

sometimes it does feel like everyone in world is conspiring to piss me off. but at the same time.. people also say nice things to me, so it’s hard to say really

[nancypullen]

Beautiful Day

It's Friday and I woke up to a message that the library would be closed due to inclement weather. How's that for a good morning? My day off has been quiet and beautiful. Here's a peek out my back door.

I pulled on some boots and tromped out to the bird feeder to make sure it was full, then I left corn for the squirrels and a pan of extra seed for our feathered friends. It's been snowing all day and my view from every window is absolutely lovely.

I measured the snow on the back porch railing this afternoon.

Nearly 5 inches when I snapped that! I can't express how happy it makes me.

In other news, I started the new job on Tuesday (Monday was MLK Day, so the library was closed). I'm cautiously optimistic. The people I work with are some of the nicest I've ever met. Interestingly enough, they're almost all from out of town. Some are from Cambridge, about 45 minutes away, some are driving in from towns in Delaware, one gal even comes all the way from Dover every day - an hour away! My commute is about 4 minutes if I hit a red light. I suppose I found it interesting that they all travel in because I haven't found Denton to be a very friendly town. Guess they have to import nice people. Aren't I lucky that I get to work with them? The job itself has potential. A great deal of it is already familiar to me from my years working in a high school library, but there's a lot that is new and different too. Here are a few things I found to be different. Part of my job will be checking bathrooms and stairwells for people who may be ODing, sleeping, or *ahem* other activities. I'm not saying we didn't find students doing naughty things in stairwells on occasion, but one quick call to the principal usually took care of that. When I have to walk around and lock up at night I'm not sure what I'll do if I look under a set of stairs and make eye contact with someone. I'm not exactly intimidating. As for drug users, because it has happened often enough in the past, there is narcan on site. I haven't been trained to use that, I'm assuming someone else has been - I'll just dial 911. Also, check-in protocol includes checking all returned materials for bed bugs because that's been an issue in the past.

It certainly makes sense - you don't want to send someone else home with that book and infest their home or, good grief, infest the library. Every one of these practices is common sense and meant to protect the public as well as the library - but they weren't on my radar. There's also a "stink box" for materials that come back with any sort of offensive odor. They're put in the locking stink box with some sort of OdoRocks that absorb smells and take a few days vacation from circulation. So if you check out a book from the library that doesn't stink, you're welcome. So, the people are nice, the job is interesting enough, and it's close to home. All good things. But (and you knew there was a but) I'm working about 30 hours a week, so that makes me a part-time employee. I'll accrue 6 hours of sick leave per month, but no sort of vacation or personal leave. Mickey wants to take a big trip this fall for our 40th anniversary....Nancy won't have any leave...I hope they don't make me choose. I'd be happy to take unpaid leave though I'm hearing that's not really a thing there. Rut roh. I mean, it's just week one and I'm already missing my freedom. Right now the pros far outweigh the cons. The difference is that I'm not 20, 30, 40, or even 50, hustling to feed the family or pay the bills. The extra income is great, but in this season of my life it has to be more than that. I pursued this job as a way to meet people, make friends, have a purpose, and feel useful. If it takes from me more than it gives, well...

Does that seem negative? I truly don't mean it that way or feel that way. I guess that's what I meant by "cautiously optimistic". I have high hopes but I'm not afraid to cut my losses. I'm lucky I can even entertain that thought. Oh well, the mister is waiting for me to start his dinner. I suppose I'd better stir something up and throw it at him. The snow is still falling and I'm going to enjoy this cozy evening so much. I hope that you're doing the same. Put on your fuzzy socks, get under a blanket, and watch a good movie. Get lost in a book while sipping hot cocoa or tea. Soak in a bubble bath and slip right into your warmest jammies. Mmmm, that's comfort. Getcha' some. Stay safe, stay well, stay warm. XOXO, Nancy

[julietookoff]

February 2023 Tour

So some of the maintenance we did on our 11 year old RV:  replace part of a rotted slide-out floor, paint the yellowed ceiling fixtures, get front seat covers, a new driver’s side window, install a microwave over-the-stove, replace the 2 house batteries, "new" mattress and just scrub and touch-up everything.  We took it to Henkel's RV Sales August 9, knowing it was off-season for RV sales. . . it is still there!  We were hoping it would sell around the time of the big RV show in Tampa, but that's been a few weeks ago. . .  It’s still in good shape; as Shorty said, “Nobody’s got any money now.”

Closing on our house was July 22, 2022.  We found a G.E. dishwasher at an outlet store in Clearwater, a G.E. stove at an estate sale, and fridge, washer and dryer at Lowe's.   By the time we got the mattresses, shower curtains, and things you need to live, our first night in the house was July 29.  We still had to commute to Holiday to finish working on the RV at our tired senior pace.  We decided we're going to die here, because we're too old to move again. . . we were so worn out.  But dang, we're loving it here!

We continued commuting (about 35 miles each way) to see Shorty most weeks; a few times he came up to see us at the house.

The first two things I cooked in the new house were sheet pan chicken/taters/ corn on the cob and chicken parm on the sheet pan.  After 10 years with an RV oven, I had a heuge two-shelfer and two giant sheet pans I had been dying to use.  I had been collecting recipes from Julia Pacheco, my fav You-Tube home cook, for about a year.  To Corny's (and Bob's) delight, I have been cooking up a storm!  I also started a little canning.  I have wanted sodium-free beans for a long time - and the pressure canner takes them from dried, right outta the bag to squishy soft in 40 minutes.

^stuffed Manicotti

Corny watched and I re-watched Breaking Bad on one of the many TVs we've found in storage auctions.  This one came with a guest subscription to Netflix.  We watched "Better Call Saul".  He was Corny's favorite character.  I've always loved Bryan Cranston.  Then we watched all the Jurassic Park movies.

Here's a little tour.  The walls are a very light grey; flooring is grey vinyl:

^This is where I have my oatmeal with Piggie and Poco

Master bed and bath:

Life of Christ cross - all the little boxes were delivered to Shorty's house over the past year and accumulated in storage.  It was like Christmas, opening them all up and displaying them!

Bedroom 1, Den and bath 2:

Poco got a cute little 2' fence surrounding the patio.  Corny doesn't worry so much about him wandering away now.

Backyard visitors:  flock of 6 wild turkeys, pond turtle  

Fledgling woodpecker chatted with me and clung to my leg for several minutes when I went to pick up my bedside dresser.

Without gutters yet, when hurricane Ian headed our way in September, we made two trips to a county park to fill sandbags.  Some young, energetic people took pity on us old, slow-moving, moaning people and helped us haul the heavy bags to the Jeep.  Corny made a few bucks selling flashlights and lanterns he had gotten on clearance months ago, thanks to Ian.

In November I did a big 2-week Georgia county run.  I only got the Jeep stuck once, in mud covered by leaves.  A Lumpkin County Sheriff had me out within minutes.  I have about 1/3 of GA counties to visit:

On Thanksgiving Shorty brought Bob up to the house.  They arrived at 5pm; the turkey finished at 7:30pm.  I made real gravy for the first time in decades.

Corny had some kidney procedures in November, then found himself in the hospital for an infection in December.

Shorty told us on Dec. 1 he was moving "up north".  He heard rumors that Hyundai was hiring contractors to do his job so he promptly took his 3 weeks vacation.  When he went back to see if he was on the schedule, they were like "Who are you?".  He had worked there 10 1/2 years.  We were so glad they did what we couldn't - kick him in the pants so he would get a better job.  The little shit decided to move to Elkhart, Indiana to be able to afford a house of his own.  We miss him - my life has certainly changed.  I would plan all week what to bring him or ask him or tell him.  But we are very happy for him to be out on his own and experiencing real freedom for the first time.  He left for Elkhart Dec. 3 so now we just text.

We didn't have much notice, so Christmas was basically cancelled.  We went to Buffet City on Christmas Eve.   I made 4# of candied pecans to send up north and give to the neighbors and Liam - Shiloh Builders' Number Two.  They are building a house right next door which Chick, the owner of Shiloh, is going to live in part time.  They are using the garage as their office.  

I threw a tapestry over the TV for Christmas.

Corny scored a home run and got me a Kitchen Aid accessory that peels, cores and slices an apple all at the same time!  I made my first apple pie since I was 20-something years old.  I was always too impatient to peel apples.

We continue going to storage auctions.  The latest score was an entire tub of Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon cards.  I went through them all to check for the big buck$ cards.  There weren't any.  When I get back from BamaRama (GC9TB1Z) I will list them on Facebook Marketplace for prolly $20/box.  

Life is Godd!

We fit out.

[caprigender]

And I guess I might explain but basically the new job is very hard and I hated it at first because I hate to do things that are hard and I love to quit things that are hard but

unfortunately

I think doing things that are hard

is maybe good for me

ugh

so I’m like growing and learning and I think maybe I will take this job and we will have to move but I’m sad because I don’t want to move so far from the kind of a social space it took me 8 years to get even tentatively ya kno? I don’t want to start from scratch in a smaller and more expensive town where there might not even be a gay bar

so I talked to my husband and he’s willing to move but also moving would be difficult so I’m like

man I like this new job but I don’t want to move and a 2 hour one way commute with carpooling is not a long term solution

but maybe a 1 hour commute would even be fine for a higher paying job that I still like

and within like ten minutes of me saying this my man has pulled up a website for a company 40 minutes away looking for a sewing technician

And that’s love, baby

[allysuunnnninwonderlandcx]

2023

its been over a year.. a year and almost a month to be exact, since you last heard from me.

don't worry don't worry. I didn't kill myself. i am alive. yippee I guess.

2023 has been...interesting. here's the recap:

January 2023

I got a new car and got to go to mobile for the new year. it was fun but it also sucked. it was the first time I realized how different Elliot and I were. I was working a, at first, good job, and I had my own place with a friend's sister.

February 2023

I was deep in my depression and trying hard to cope with being an actual adult with bills, and was overly stressed

march 2023

It was a good month, I went to the beach with Elliot, we bonded..alot and it was amazing. I realized our differences were the same, but we had our own way of voicing the same problems we were noticing. I also learned that my depression was always there, and it affects me to a point where I do not think I can come back. I also got a new job

April 2023

I was working my new job. it was amazing. I started to really want to be my own person, but couldn't figure out how. I also got really bad ocd about cleaning bc of my roommate..she was not that clean of a person.

may 2023

alot happened here and it was a big turning point for me. this entire month was way harder than anything I have felt since my ex. I was depressed and stressed and was fighting hard to keep myself from projecting and worrying people I love. Elliot and I went to ATL to see the braves, and that Monday night on our way back, I asked him what would he do if I just killed myself, unprompted. he was shocked and concerned. that night I was going to kms once he left. I had an amazing trip and I loved and love Elliot dearly. but I think I was so far in the depression that it was hard for me to mask these things at this point. he stated with me that night, but we went no contact for a few says after this incident. a few days later, he asked me to get therapy and the help I needed or he was going to have to walk away.. I choose to keep working on myself and our relationship. I went to therapy that next week. Elliot and I set great boundaries in our relationship and it was a big turning point in our relationship.

June 2023

Elliot and I are doing better. boundaries are being met. I'm in the full swing of therapy, and feeling alot better, with some ups and downs here and there. Elliot went on a beach trip, and I felt so lonely without him. its when I realized I needed to make more friends and not want to rely on him so much. I learned that I needed to love myself and being alone With myself. Elliot also got ready to study abroad, so this would help. I also got to help Elliot and his sister with a Minecraft camp they do!

July 2023

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and the big one, Bipolar 2. welp. all those years saying I was bipolar as a joke became true lmao. I started go to a psychiatrist in the middle of this month. I also moved out of my apartment because I was drunk and said some fuck shit lmao. oh whale.

august 2023

Elliot is back, I'm finally getting into the full swing of my medications and I am feeling more...okay I guess you could say. we are really happy and he and I are doing well. I am back at home with my parents but I am working hard and doing all I can to see and be with Elliot. so far I am nervous and scared to tell them whenever I am going to his place or just going to be with him in general.

September 2023

I left my job and got a new one, the drive was my main factor. it was about 40ish minutes away from my house, and 1hr 10 from Elliots. I needed a shorty commute. got a new job, and its cool. decided to lay low and keep to myself like I did at my old job but alloooooootttt less. it also came with a whole 2 dollar pay raise sooooo hell yeah. 30 mins from my parents. 40 from Elliots. ill take it.

October 2023

short month. don't recall alot happened here. just wanting to spend more time with Elliot.

November 2023

its our birthday month. I also have been medicated for about 6 months from this point. I'm pretty chill now I suppose. I am enjoying life. and oh yeah, I did mushrooms for the first time while crossed with weed. it was amazing. 10/10 want to do it again asap lmao. I also moved back into a babyroom. I really start to bond with the baby teachers and have been loving it. it is more of a family here than the last place.

December 2023

well here we are. this year has been pretty amazing. I have enjoyed it. honestly..this year was my 2018 year. how well everything was going. now that means 2024 will be my 2019...the best year I have had yet to date.

I am asking for an amazing year next year. to finally stick to routines, working out, being energetic, being productive, staying onto of me writing and reading, and having people to hold me be accountable for once. I am hoping for the best year I could ever have. I am hoping Elliot and I continue to have the best time together and just work through all the hardships we could possible have. for us to both be strong individually and to mentally prepared for this new time in our life that is about to happen. I am asking the universe, god, and anyone else who will listen, to allow him to get all his dreams to come true, all his worries to go away and from him to continue to have the guidance and maturity he has. I am asking the universe, god, and anyone else who will listen to allow me to continue to be strong. for me to continue to better myself and let go of the things and people who do not better me in anyway. I am asking for financial guidance, mental guidance and anything else you could give me. I am asking for you to cast all my self doubts of not being able to lose weight, stay healthy, going to the gym, being productive and so much more away. I am asking that you to keep me going.

2023. thank you. its been something. until next time.

[bepatientandpersistent]

My constant thought these days is "life is weird". I don't even know how to elaborate on that. This is probably going to be a long rambling nonsensical post. You can read if you want, obviously that's why I put it on here, but I just learned how to put things under the "keep reading" cut. I know, I'm super late 😂 but I don't post on here like I'd like to.

I feel like I've just had so many feelings recently. Today one kind of surprised me because I thought "it's gonna be okay". Like, I tell myself that all the time, because life is a struggle and I need to remind myself to keep going and that things WILL in fact be okay. But today the thought occurred to me subconsciously without me having to force it. So, maybe things will actually be okay.

I've been really struggling financially for a couple months. Well, actually about 7 months, since my mom's income got suspended (she's on SSI). We finally got that resolved last month and it helps a ton, she can pay her own bills now. But my bills are behind because I was helping her AND I chose to go down to one day a week at the hotel. I have been doing door dash and spark deliveries for a few months and those options were pretty stable, but now they aren't as busy as they were. I spend many hours each week waiting for deliveries, and sometimes they just dont come. I've resorted to just leaving bills unpaid or overdrafting my bank account to pay them. When I do that, my bank charges me $36 per day that I'm overdrafted. It's a killer. I had to borrow a large sum of money from one of my good friends yesterday, and it just barely covered the overdraft I had.. I will be able to pay him back, and he's allowing me to pay in payments. Im so thankful for him.

I start my new big-girl hospital job on Monday! I'm excited but nervous. I can't believe it's finally here and happening. I take my NCLEX on the 10th. I haven't been studying like I should because all of every day has been spent doing and waiting for deliveries. My goal for today is to answer 100 review questions, maybe more of I can but AT LEAST 100. I have the resources to do it and today I have the time, I just need to make myself. I'm doing that after I post this.

I'll get my first paycheck and a $6500 sign-on bonus check on the 22nd. I just hope I can hold out on money until then. My commute to work will be ~40 minutes each way, and that takes gas. 5 days a week throughout June. After that I may go down to 3 days a week but that's to be determined.

My mom and I have been bickering about money and bills for weeks. We don't live together and our bills are technically separate but we help each other. If I have money and she needs something paid or needs something, I help her, and vice versa. Sometimes one of us will spend money on something unnecessary and it causes a rift. Because money is so tight right now. I don't feel like I should have to explain where every cent of my money goes, but I understand why she gets frustrated. We are broke. I am so ready for us to not have to share money and bills and to be able to do as I wish with the money I make. That's where my frustration comes in also: most of the money we have to spend is mine. I work 3 jobs right now, soon to be 4. If I want to spend the money I work my ass off for, I can do that. I just have to face the consequences of it sometimes..

I'm still living with my aunt and uncle and since my income will be much higher here soon, the thought of getting my own place has crossed my mind. My mom would like for us to live together. I'm not convinced that's a good idea. I'd love to have my own space and there are things I dislike about living with family. My dad may also potentially be moving here before the year is up. He probably wouldn't have a job immediately so he would either have to stay with my mom (in her living room) or with me in my own place. My mom complains about him constantly when he stays at her apartment. If like to avoid that if possible. I also don't enjoy the thought of having to move houses in the summer, that just sounds terrible. Plus, it would give me a few months to save up for deposits and moving costs.. no plans are set in stone yet, but moving this year is a definite possibility.

I've been trying to get back in the mindset of getting healthy and losing weight. I've stopped drinking sodas again (4 days ago) and am consequently drinking more water. However, I started smoking cigarettes again about 1.5 months ago and haven't kicked the habit yet. I am determined to make this pack the last and wait before I start work on Monday... I think I can do it. I haven't been any more active. My scale still says 266, which is 1 pound less than my high weight. At least it's not more right? I just know I'm going to be miserable working as a nurse being this overweight and out of shape. Part of me wants to try keto again because I know it will make me lose weight fast. But I can never keep up with it, I always quit right after it starts working. I'm still trying to decide what I want to do.. trying to decide what I think I can stick with.

I need to call my storage place and pay for my unit. I need to call and pay a loan. I need to go tomorrow to buy scrubs for work. I need to go study. I think I'll end this post there. I'm sorry if you've read this far 😅 I didn't know where I was going with it lol. I feel like I have lots more to say but I'll continue later.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

This week in SYABM complains about his flatmate

Slob Flatmate got a Christmas box from the company he works for, just like last year. Hooray!

It came full of styrofoam peanuts to protect the fragile glass food containers. Also hooray!

Aaaand, of course, he dumped it all in the paper recycling bin, meaning I have to figure out how to get it out by next week’s collection. Not so much hooray.

Did I mention that it’s very windy right now? No matter what I end up doing,  I’mma end up with numb fingers chasing styrofoam all over the backyard.

All because of my fear of confrontation.*

And frankly, given how much OCD flatmate yelled at him before she left, I think he’s partially incapable of learning. He’s just that dumb.

heck, if he had dumped it in the Bottles/Tins bin, at least that’s almost empty. As it is, I have to sort the styrofoam out from a bin half-full of paper.

Good news, tho: start a warehouse job tomorrow. Admittedly, one with a 40-50 minute bus commute. Each way. At least I have to do hardly any walking.

* Okay, it’s just “I don’t want to look like a meanie after OCD flatmate’s yelling.”

[route22ny]

Meet the New Yorkers Who Say They’ve Given Up on the Subways

by Jose Martinez, March 1, 2021

Florin Petrisor swapped the No. 7 train for an electric scooter and never looked back.

Claire McLeveighn started walking to work and hasn’t been on the subway since last March.

Isaac Himmelman began the pandemic without a bike or a car but now he’s “the proud owner of both.”

They are among the millions of New Yorkers who once rode the subway daily, but who, one year into the pandemic, have found other ways to get around — while largely staying away from the transit system.

“It’s the freedom of riding the scooter wherever I want, at any time and it’s much more reliable,” said Petrisor, 40, a dog walker who commutes between Queens and Manhattan on an electric scooter he bought last March for $1,200. “This is how I look at it: I used to buy the unlimited MetroCard every month, but with this scooter, I have gotten my money’s worth and then some in 10 months.”

MTA data shows subway ridership stayed north of five million on weekdays throughout the first week of March 2020 as COVID-19 began to climb. As late as March 6 — five days after the first confirmed coronavirus case in the city emerged — there were 5.2 million daily trips.

But it marked a fleeting ridership peak that, within weeks, would crumble by more than 90% as the pandemic took hold and the subway system turned into what one commuter described last April as “an underground ghost town.”

While ridership has rebounded to nearly 1.8 million trips a day — or about 30% of what it was prior to the pandemic — the MTA is still trying to win back straphangers who have continued to stay away from the subway in large numbers.

The collapse in ridership has also forced the transit agency to repeatedly seek billions of dollars in emergency federal aid as officials call for more police amid a disturbing spate of crimes in a less-trafficked system.

Business leaders say the return of safe and efficient subways is crucial to the city’s economic recovery, and hailed the recent restoration of overnight service to all but two hours daily as a good sign.

Meanwhile, some transportation advocates say there’s a bigger opportunity to transform how New Yorkers get around: On Monday, Transportation Alternatives released a report calling for 25% of city car space to be dedicated to use by people by 2025.

‘Everything Changed’

Asked how the subway can regain riders, MTA officials pointed to cleaning and disinfecting efforts in the subway, along with mask-wearing requirements.

“We are pleased that millions of New Yorkers are once again relying on public transportation on a daily basis,” said Sarah Feinberg, interim president of New York City Transit. “Our commitment to providing a safe and dependable way for customers to get where they need to go remains steadfast.”

But the MTA must contend with riders reluctant to return not only because of safety concerns, but who have moved on to other ways of getting around.

“It was my sole method of transportation before, but once the pandemic started, everything changed,” said Meghan Addison, 31, who used to get to work by subway from Brooklyn to Manhattan. “I just don’t foresee myself using transit unless it’s in the winter or for longer distances.”

Addison, who is now working remotely for her job at a tech company, travels almost entirely by bicycle and said that’s unlikely to change even after COVID-19 is under control.

“There are just so many things you can’t prepare for or predict in New York,” she said. “There is something really liberating about not having to rely on a subway.”

McLeveighn, who previously commuted on the No. 4 train from The Bronx to Lower Manhattan, now treks more than a mile from her home in Kingsbridge to an office in Morris Park on days when she isn’t working remotely.

“It’s a good [long] walk,” she said. “But after having been in a lockdown, it’s kind of enjoyable to walk to the office.”

‘People Aren’t Rushing Back’

Edgardo Rivera, 42, has relied on his yearly Citi Bike membership to commute from Bushwick to his job in DUMBO, Brooklyn, saying the 25-minute ride is “for my health” and tops what would be a 45-minute trip by subway.

“We’re a city of commuters and people aren’t rushing back,��� he said. “There is a big mental hurdle and you’re talking to a native New Yorker who’s not afraid of the train system, like someone from out of town might be.”

The number of bicycle trips across East River bridges has gone up, according to city Department of Transportation data, along with usage of Citi Bike, the bike-sharing network.

More New Yorkers are buying automobiles, too, as THE CITY reported last summer. In four of the boroughs, the number of vehicle registrations increased by nearly 40 percent between August and October.

Beatrice Lors-Rousseau, 33, of Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn, said she has not been on the subway since going on maternity leave in December 2019, choosing instead to travel by car.

“We’re thinking about our exposure to others,” said Lors-Rousseau, 33, whose parents live with her family.

Rivera said elected officials, the MTA and employers need to “be on the same page” about encouraging people to eventually return to the subway.

“They’ve got to do something about saving mass transit,” he said. “New York is a city that relies on mass transit whether there is a pandemic or not.”

***

Photo: A commuter rides an empty 6 train in Manhattan, July 1, 2020 (photo by Ben Fractenberg)

https://www.thecity.nyc/transportation/2021/3/1/22308401/new-yorkers-stop-riding-subways-pandemic

[loquaciousquark]

I’m not very good at keeping up with life updates. I don’t know why! I never have been!

Carol moved out August 9th, about a week extra over the original two months we’d agreed on. She got an apartment about five minutes away, which is about 40 minutes from her job. I recommended getting an apartment closer to her job to ease the commute, but she said she strongly preferred being near to her friends and the city center. (She also had the option of a $650/mo lease for a year or $1100/mo for a six month lease at this complex, and opted for the shorter lease even though she couldn’t afford the $1100. She also insisted on a two bed 1.5 bath apartment instead of a much cheaper one bed one bath, and I don’t know why. Her financial choices continue to bewilder me.)

I helped her move, because she has a number of physical disabilities and a fairly total inability to accurately predict the scope of a job like this. She insisted to me multiple times that all she was picking up from her estranged mother’s home was a few books, a desk, a chair, and a small round end table. She came back with a fifteen foot Uhaul packed top to bottom with dozens of pieces of (often very heavy) furniture, tubs upon tubs upon tubs of books (not small boxes, like 40 gallon tubs immobile with books) and a lot of...I don’t know how to describe it.

Honestly, it reminded me of a hoarder’s home from those TLC shows. She had so much stuff, and almost all of it was...garbage. Like, stained, discolored, moldy, dirty, dusty furniture and blankets and clothes that were covered in mouse droppings and bird crap. An ancient armchair that she called “antique” but was made of very cheap very damaged veneered pressed wood and whose upholstery was of an indeterminate color because of how stained it was. A “display piece” of an old suitcase she picked up in some thrift store that was locked shut with what felt like twenty pounds of bricks inside, but the outside wasn’t even attractive - just an ugly brown box with no care or craftwork that was scratched and torn and stained with mouse poop. It honestly made me uneasy to touch it, and she was putting it in her apartment to use.

I don’t know how she thought she was going to be able to get all of this stuff down the half-flight of stairs to her apartment by herself. I helped her unload for four hours before I had another obligation, then came back after that finished for another hour or two of unloading to get it in her apartment securely. It was...very tiring, but also very exhilarating to be physically closing that chapter as well as mentally. I don’t intend to do it again.

--

My job (professor) started back in person on a regular basis the following week in August. We’ve now been in class for almost two months and no students that I directly interact with (my 46ish 2nd year students) have had any exposures or at risk scenarios. A small handful of 3rd and 4th years have had exposures, and I think one student actually tested positive, but none of the exposures or positive results were from our clinic or labs; they were all from community transmission (wife/husband/child/roommate caught it from somewhere else, student had to quarantine).

I have been almost draconian with my 2nd years about the thin line we’re walking in being allowed to have even our minimal, limited in-person labs, and have warned them that if we have an exposure breach in our clinic, there is zero chance they graduate on time in a few years. They seem to be taking it extremely seriously, which I like a lot. All students, staff, and faculty are given new surgical masks daily, and everyone who interacts with patients gets a new n95 mask every 10 days. We have decontamination stations throughout the building, temperature guns, digital “passports” that they have to update daily to be allowed on campus, and plenty of spray bottles with high level disinfectant for surfaces and hands. It’s honestly as safe as we can make it, and I feel we’ve hit a good balance between staying safe and getting them actually trained on real human beings.

That said, we are having more students than I’ve ever had fail exams and practicals across the board, and I honestly think it’s an artifact of the remote lectures (all lectures are remote unless specified for particular reasons, and then they only take place in distanceable classrooms, which are at max like 70% of the class). God knows I wouldn’t have learned as well at home - I’d have been on my phone or playing games and kind of half listening in the background, and if nothing else this has made me more of a proponent of mandatory attendance once it’s safe again to do so, because the drop I’m seeing is almost precipitous. Either this class is unusually full of students incapable of completing the program, or COVID’s striking again. I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.

On the other hand, we’re FINALLY making up the Injections course material that got stopped dead in spring, and the first run of it went very well last Saturday. I unequivocally resent that I have to give up an entire Saturday to do so (and will have to do so thrice more to get all the students done this semester), but it’s at least one chunk of incompletes that are now passes (and in fact, mostly As).

We just got the notification that hybrid courses will continue through spring. It’s so exhausting. We can do it safely, and we are, but it’s so hard.

--

Went to get a drink last night before bed and noticed the tea was a little warm. Went to grab some ice cubes from the freezer and discovered the ice cube tray was full of water, and the chocolate ice cream in the door had melted and spread across the entire unit.

Managed to get a repair guy out this afternoon, who charged $228 to replace the ...relay overload array capacitor, or something. He showed me what it was--a little black and white box that he said was bottom of the barrel cheap from China, which I fully believe, and installed a new one then and there while I had a remote test review with a student over Zoom. I put on headphones for her privacy, but she cried several times. It’s usually a pretty rough awakening when students who never had to study in college realize how difficult this program is and the study time required to pass, let alone succeed.

Anyway, the freezer’s chucking out cold air like it was made for it, and the fridge seems to be slowly working its way back down. Had to throw out everything from the freezer (chicken, steak, ground beef, bacon, veggies, frozen meals--and some pizza rolls) and I’m not looking forward to the grocery bill it’ll take to restock the fridge either, but at least it seems to be functioning again.

I just checked; the freezer’s made six ice cubes in the last three hours. I’ve put them all in my tea to celebrate.

--

Edit: just checked again and the fridge is slowly cooling off, thank goodness! Of course, I somehow managed to fall down the four stairs of the hall between here and there and bruise the royal bejeezus out of both hips and somehow the inside of my left foot, so I’m ordering in for dinner, because nuts to that.

[copperbadge]

I recently turned thirty, and had an interesting conversation about what I would tell my twenty year old self if I could go back and offer advice. As a recently turned forty year old, do you have any advice for me at thirty?

What an interesting thought, Anon! Also, happy birthday! 

I’m trying to think about who I was at thirty but it’s very nebulous -- time is supposed to move faster as we get older and in some ways it does, but it feels like my thirties lasted FOREVER. 

I feel like I made a lot of decisions in my thirties, so a lot of what I am thinking about has to do with that process, with charting out the course of your life. One key thing I learned is that there’s always a third option; it’s sometimes very hard to see and sometimes it’s not the best, or easiest, of your options, but a decision is never a binary. Like when my work moved so that I was twice as far away from it, I felt I had to decide between finding a new job or moving to be closer to work, since staying with such a long commute was proving untenable. The third option wasn’t really a third path so much as a testing phase -- stay in my current job, look for work, and if I didn’t find anything by a specific set deadline, I would move. That turned out really well for me; I spent six months jobsearching, decided I liked my job, and then felt better about finding a nice place to live. 

Another thing I learned is about deciding what you believe, who you are going to be as a person. This isn’t limited to one’s thirties but it’s good to reassess every now and again. The two key components of this were learning when to apologize rather than double down, even if it felt humiliating, because the longer it went on, the MORE humiliating it always felt, and learning that I don’t always have to jump into a conversation the minute I can, even if I have strong opinions. I can sit back and wait, and often I should, because often it means more information comes out. We live in a very “activist” age and that’s good, but sometimes that leads to forgetting that passivity has its place, that sometimes you can stop and wait for dust to settle. Everything has its time and that time doesn’t have to be “right now”. 

I think also my thirties was when I learned to stop doing a lot of things for the sake of other peoples’ opinion of me. I’m not saying I live a society-free life or anything, I still do stuff to fit in, but I do less of it, and more of what makes me happy. In many ways I look like a weirdo or a failure -- I’m not working in the field where I have two degrees, I have no significant other, I have two cats and a condo covered in blankets. I really struggle to maintain a social life. I am perhaps “too” into certain aspects of fandom. But like...who am I trying to impress, exactly? I like my job, when I had after a while started hating every job I had in my degree field. I made a conscious decision that life without a significant other was preferable to spending years trying to find someone I would be comfortable with, especially since I really do prefer to live alone. I love my cats. I love being covered in blankets. So I started putting my happiness over the opinions of others and I’m happier for it. But it took a lot of conscious decision-making to train myself out of doing what would look best if someone were making a documentary of my life. 

So yeah, I guess it boils down to...I moved so fast in my 20s. In my 30s I learned that it was okay to move slowly, to stop and think about my choices, and to really ask myself often what would lead me to a happier, more fulfilled life. And perhaps part of what I learned is that charting out your future is something you can still do in your 30s and 40s -- you aren’t locked into a lot of decisions you made when you were younger.

Anyway, good luck with your 30s! I hope you had a good birthday :)

[how-to-portuguese]

hey, hope this ask finds you well! I've been wanting to study EP (European Portuguese) for a while now but I can't find any resources available. I'd appreciate it greatly if you would recommend me any resources that you use (especially self-study methods that use the IPA, grammar books would help too!). thank you so so much and have a great day/night!!!

Hey! I know it can be really difficult to find EP resources, especially when you are starting out. I’ll give you a bit of background about my own journey and talk about the resources I have found along the way. (Edit: This is quite a long post, so the content is after the break.)

I started learning European Portuguese about 4.5 years ago. Like many others, I struggled to find good EP resources online, and so I ended up taking evening classes. I had a really good teacher and a very small class, and so the lessons helped me build a solid foundation. We used the Gramática Ativa 1 (A1/A2/B1) book by Isabel Coimbra and Olga Mata Coimbra and the Gramática Aplicada: Português para Estrangeiros (A1/A2/B1) book and the corresponding Caderno de Exercícios by Carla Oliveira and Luísa Coelho.

I moved about 2 years ago and am no longer able to take the evening classes, so I have only been doing self-study in my free time. I am currently working my way through the Manual de Aprender Português 3 (B2) by João Malaca Casteleiro, Luísa Coelho e Carla Oliveira. I also bought the Gramática Aplicada Português Língua Estrangeira (B2/C1) book by Carla Oliveira and Luísa Coelho and the Português Atual 3 (C1/C2) book by Hermínia Malcata, but I have not started them yet.

You can find all off these books and others by the same authors online at Bertrand.pt and Lidel.pt. Some of the book series come with CDs for you to be able to do listening exercises at home, which will give you some exposure to the pronunciation. I also bought the Harry Potter series in European Portuguese from Bertand last Christmas (there is a difference between the BP and EP versions!), and I think pushing myself through those books is helping me to reach a much higher level. I can really tell a difference from where I was when I started the Philosopher’s Stone to where I am now starting Prisoner of Azkaban.

I never had books on pronunciation since I took classes from a native Portuguese and my partner is Portuguese. However, I did a quick search on the Bertrand website and found Manual de Pronúncia e Prosódia by Carla Oliveira and Luísa Coelho. I can’t say whether they use IPA or not in that book, but it might be worth looking into. I liked the grammar books by those authors, so the pronunciation manual is probably good as well.

I recently reblogged a YouTube video called The Secret to Understanding Portuguese Natives by Practice Portuguese. That video uses IPA to explain EP vowel sounds. It is about 40 minutes long, but it is worth the time. The Practice Portuguese team have a handful of other YouTube videos and podcasts where they have their viewers submit recordings of themselves reading a text and then they review it and provide advice.

There is also a Practice Portuguese website with other material and lessons, but I have not used it yet as it is not free. It seems to have a lot of good content for beginners, but it’s not clear whether they have a lot of paid content for intermediate and advanced learners. (That is really the only thing stopping me from signing up, so if someone knows the answer then let me know!). I think they are working on a mobile app as well.

I tried A LOT of free language-learning apps offering Portuguese. Most of them only offer Brazilian Portuguese or are very bad quality. Portuguese with Carla did a YouTube video with a really good, in-depth review of the Top 10 European Portuguese Learning Apps. Talk the Streets also has a YouTube video about learning European Portuguese with free apps. Both of those YouTube channels, along with Practice Portuguese, are fully dedicated to EP language learning content.

I completed the DuoLingo tree a while ago, but I did the tree without sound (it was just too confusing). I still use it now and again to practice verb conjugations while commuting. It was helpful that my partner is Portuguese and could point out differences in word usage and grammar. You could potentially use DuoLingo with the DeepL translator and/or the Priberam dictionary to help determine whether a word is more common in Brazil or in Portugal. Linguee is also useful for definitions and to see how a word is used in context.

Memrise does have some European Portuguese lessons. Some people really like this app, but it just wasn’t for me. I think the content wasn’t a good fit because I only discovered the app after I had been taking Portuguese lessons for more than a year. I also really disliked their notification system (even more than DuoLingo), and the app design felt a little too childish and a little too gamified.

Anki and Quizlet are both good flashcard apps. I have heard a lot of positive things about both of them. I tried this briefly, but they mostly reminded how much I hate flashcards. I personally don’t enjoy rote memorisation, and I find that I learn better when I encounter new words in context and then try to use them in conversation or in writing. I think that’s why regularly watching/reading the news on sites like RTP and Público and reading the Harry Potter series has been helpful.

I also tried Tandem, which is a language exchange app. I use it now and again for writing practice, but every time I show myself as online I get flooded with dozens of messages which can be a bit overwhelming. It can be difficult to keep track of the active conversations, as your inbox keeps filling up and pushing those conversations further down the list. I think part of the problem is that you have to put your native language, and a lot of people jump at the chance to practice with a native English speaker. I also have yet to find a native EP speaker, although occasionally I have chatted with pople who make corrections to my messages in both Brazilian and European Portuguese.

One of the cheapest options for lessons is finding teachers through iTalki. You can arrange private lessons with a native speaker from Portugal. Some of these are professional teachers (very few in my experience) and others are native speakers (often linguistic students) trying to get teaching experience or just earn some extra money. I tried iTalki lessons for a while, but the people I had lessons with didn’t seem prepared to teach grammar to someone at my level. It was good for conversation practice, but it just wasn’t what I was looking for at the time. It does seem to get really good reviews from beginners.

You can also look into doing classes online through Instituto Camões. They have online self-learning courses, group classes, and individual classes. The self-learning classes are €180 for 12 weeks, and the price increases up to €320 for 12 weeks of individual tutoring. I have been considering this option recently, as I have found it difficult to commit to regular self-study while also working a full-time job (I’m a Tumblr ancient). I think the financial commitment and the regular schedule would really help me, but that is a personal preference.

If you ever decide that you want to do some language classes in Portugal, you might consider the University of Coimbra Portuguese language courses. They do short courses and several degrees in Portuguese language, literature, and linguistics. There are great language courses all over Portugal, but University of Coimbra is a really cool university in a very nice city. The student culture there is really famous even in Portugal. I haven’t studied there myself, but I have spent a lot of time in the city and the university makes me a bit sad that I am no longer a student.

Whew, this ended up being long post! I tried to give a variety of resources at different price points. I hope you find at least some of this helpful! I may reblog if I remember anything else, and maybe some of my followers will have more suggestions...

[angel-deux-writes]

50 questions

I was tagged by @agirlnamedkeith :)

What is the colour of your hairbrush? Orange

Name a food you never eat: Mushrooms. I just hate ‘em. Also don’t like seafood!

Are you typically too warm or too cold? Probably too cold, but that’s because being too warm bothers me more. So I’d rather keep my heat set at like 62 than risk being too warm. It’s much better for my eczema.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I think probably putting another load of laundry in? I’m trying to tidy up because my sister might be coming to work from home here later, and I have been living in a mild mess for weeks lmao.

What’s your favourite candy bar?  Reese’s. Does that count as a bar? Let’s say yes. The eggs in particular!

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? I used to go see the Red Sox sometimes as a kid, once in Tampa Bay while we were on vacation. I went to see FC Barcelona play while visiting a friend (real talk: I probably would not have gotten on that plane if not for the fact that I really, really loved FC Barcelona at the time lmao. it was great to see my friend again, but I was terrified of going on vacation alone in a country I’d never been to! I didn’t even speak spanish at all before that trip! When I hyperfixate I will do ANYTHING lmao). I’ve also been to DC to see Barcelona play (terrifying. tiny planes. would not recommend. It ruled, though, and I got to take my brothers, which was nice). And several times to see Brazil’s national team play at Gilette, which was much easier, because it was like 20 minutes away from my house.

What was the last thing you said out loud? some variation of “oh for fuck’s sake” because I thought the dudes doing my neighbor’s basement renovation had stopped drilling, and then they picked back up.

What is your favourite ice cream? cookie dough of some kind? though I’m also a big fan of anything black raspberry.

What was the last thing you had to drink? coffee!

Do you like your wallet? I do! It was a gift from my mother, like, five birthdays ago? So I probably need a new one, but it’s cute. 

What was the last thing you ate? .......i had a fruit roll-up. I’m turning 31 in a few days, and the last thing I ate was a fruit roll-up. 

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I can’t remember if it was this weekend or last weekend but I DID order a shirt from Redbubble that says “anders was right” lmao

What’s the last sporting event you watched? it was probably a Red Sox game? I used to watch them with my dad back when I could, you know, hang out with him without fear of passing a deadly disease to him and my mom!

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? butter, tho that caramel corn I always get at Christmas is nice too.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My sister to tell her that the dudes next door are STILL DRILLING and that she might want to rethink coming over.

Ever go camping? Nope! Hate even just the idea of it. My dad goes camping with his childhood friends every year, and every time they describe it, it makes me want to die. 

Do you take vitamins? Nope! I used to, but then i ran out, and I haven’t bought any since then. I used to take fish oil pills because my dermatologist thought it might help with my eczema, but it didn’t. 

Do you go to church every Sunday? Church? what’s that?

Do you have a tan? Never in my life. I am very pale, and turn red very easily. I’m slightly red right now because I spent maybe an hour hanging out on my parent’s deck over the weekend lmao. Also I’ve been going on a lot of walks lately, so I’ve got a lot more freckles on my face than I used to! 

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Chinese food. Shouldn’t eat it, because I am allergic to soy, but I accept the stomach aches that come with it.

Do you drink your soda through a straw? Not anymore. I did when I had invisalign, though. I wasn’t supposed to drink ANY sort of soda or coffee with the invisalign in, so I was like “well, what if I use a straw”, and I never got yelled at by the orthodontist, so it must have worked. 

What colour socks do you usually wear? I almost exclusively wear socks from Sock it To Me, so they’re all sorts of patterns. I also have a lot of Star Wars socks, because one of my Christmas gifts for the past few years has been a sock advent calendar! 

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I’m from Massachusetts, so...... yes.

What terrifies you? Everything? I’m gonna go with lava. I really hate lava.

Look to your left. What do you see? My phone.

What chore do you hate most? Washing dishes. It’s gross, first of all, and the eczema constantly on my fingers means that the extra hand-washing is literally painful.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? lately? @slipsthrufingers lmao

What’s your favourite soda? Probably cherry coke?

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? Drive-thru whenever possible.

What’s your favourite number? 15

Who’s the last person you talked to? My sister and her boyfriend as I was leaving their house, probably?

Favourite cut of beef? idk man, I just eat whatever is put in front of me.

Last song you listened to? Something from my Outrun playlist.

Last book you read? GENUINELY cannot remember. Reading has not been fundamental these past few months. I started Michelle Visage’s book, let’s go with that.

Favourite day of the week? Friday, probably

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Probably if I think enough about it!

How do you like your coffee? with creamer in it! 

Favourite pair of shoes? A pair of converse with rainbow bottoms, I think. I also have a pair of gray boots from American Eagle that I love.

Time you normally get up? I used to get up at 4:40, but lately it’s been 7, because I don’t have to commute anymore lmao.

Sunrises or sunsets?  Sunsets!

How many blankets are on your bed? Currently none, because i’m washing my sheets. Usually 3-4

Describe your kitchen plates. Some of them have apples on them, some of them are plain with a green border, and some of them are easter plates with rabbits!

Describe your kitchen at the moment. Teal, small, and messy!

Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? I love a mojito. Also just...whiskey? of any kind?

Do you play cards? I prefer not to!

What colour is your car? Teal-ish blue!

Do you know how to change a tire? I certainly do not

Your favourite state? probably Massachusetts? I haven’t ever lived anywhere else lmao

Favourite job you’ve had? One summer I worked for my dad’s friend putting stickers on envelops and folding them and counting them and putting them in bigger envelopes, and I fucking loved it. Just mindness nonsense. I guess this job is good too, because I actually get paid and have benefits, but editing tech reports is VERY boring.

How did you get your biggest scar? I had one on my knee for a while that finally went away a few years ago, but it was from falling off a jungle gym at school! There was a gap that was slightly too big for my elementary school body, and I fell probably like 6 feet and landed hard on the pebbles that were scattered beneath it! A few of them were embedded pretty deeply in my skin, and there was this gross flap that was hanging open. They ended up replacing the rocks with sand because of me lmao. But now I guess it’s probably just my biopsy scar from back when they were trying to figure out if my weird rash was eczema or something worse! It’s never really healed right!

I’m not sure who else has been tagged so i’m gonna hit @slipsthrufingers since I already tagged her in this for the accent question lmao

[tjp5]

A short background

January 15, 2020

Hi Friends! As of right now I am only spreading this blog to people I am close to, soon I will spread it out to my Instagram and Facebook. So, right now, I am not including any tags on these posts, but I will. This post will be for those who don’t know a whole lot or nothing about me, or for you of you happen to not know as much.

  Today I am starting a bit of a “fitness journey.” Yea, I know “fitness journey” sounds cliché and comical.  In reality, I think “fitness journey” is a load of bullshit.

I will get away from this for a moment and give you a little background. When I graduated college, four years ago now, I weighed in at over 300 pounds, at about 5’10 or 5’11, I was obese, in medical terms I still am obese. Today I am weighing in around 260 pounds, it took me awhile to get here. After college I couldn’t find a job, I was spending hours in the gym to ease my mind and get out of the house. Then I finally got my first job, at a car dealership, I was constantly on my feet, so I was losing weight. I am not sure where I weighed when I started at the dealership, but it was fantastic to look at the scale and see that I had cut about 50 pounds in about six months. That sounds awesome, but the truth is that I was not healthy at all, mentally or physically. I stopped going to the gym about a month and a half after getting my job, the commute was driving me insane, and I had no interest in going to the gym 12 hours after I had gotten up for the day. I was losing weight, how great. Truth is I was unhealthy, I was drinking a lot and eating what ever I wanted, which wasn’t a big deal when I was walking 5-10 miles a day with work.

About this time my friends and I moved out of our North side apartment, and my commute went from 60 minutes total, to, if I was lucky, an hour and a half home. Guess what pal, I still wasn’t going to the gym. It was even less likely at this point. After about a month, I left the car dealership and got a job as a server, there went walking 5-10 miles a day. I was still drinking a lot and eating horribly. These mental health issues that I either ignored or didn’t realize I dealt with were present as well. For the next six months I ignored pretty much any of the red flags that were coming up, whether it was my pants not fitting again, or randomly getting into this dark grey mood with increasing consistency. I didn’t care about anything, especially my fitness, or lack-there-of.

               Shortly after Christmas that year I started going to the gym again and I got a new job, working at a desk, still not moving around, but a step in the right direction, mentally. Then there was a breakup, and the only thing I had was going to the gym. So, I increased my regularity at the gym, and decided that I was going to start playing baseball again, which I will gladly admit, was the biggest love of my life for such a long time. I got in a little better shape but would weigh myself and still be around 290 pounds. It was annoying, but I told myself that it would be okay, and I would never cross the 300-pound threshold again. Well, baseball season came, I quit going to the gym again, and kept eating and drinking whatever I wanted. My excuse for everything being okay here was the fact that I was playing baseball again and doing it rather well. What a joke that was. After the season was over, I looked down and weighed over 300 pounds once again.

               Baseball season was over, I felt like a fat ass again, and the darkness was returning. Keep in mind at this point, I still didn’t realize that I was mentally unhealthy as well. The only difference at this point and the prior points is that I had a goal. That goal was to make the jump, and go to a tryout for an independent baseball league, when that fell through, because I wasn’t disciplined and didn’t make my goal weight, I just made the goal to  be the best player in my league the following year, I knew to do this I would still have to get in better shape, and I did. Granted, it was only about 25 pounds, but I was weighing in around 280, and had made gains. I won MVP of this league you’ve never heard of and was happy with myself. Moving in the right direction. Little did I know, that this darkness was creeping in behind me and little did I care. I had a familiar goal in mind, and that was to go to a tryout. You know, really pursue the one thing I wanted to in my life. I was in the gym constantly, weight was coming off, I was excited. I gave myself a goal weight and was on my way. During all of this I was growing increasingly unhappy with my job and losing any interest I had in day to day life.  

               Because of this I started eating “better,” I started going to the gym twice a day most days, and last year I managed to lose 40 pounds in a excessive gym ridden winter, eating what I thought was healthy, and not paying attention to this monster that was coming up in the back of my mind. I got down to 245, I was happy, so close to where I was in 2011 when I started college, which meant, at least in my mind, that I was close to my goal of being under 210 pounds. Not only was I happy because of my fitness level, things in my life were coming around. At this point I met someone who made and continues to make me happy, my relationship with my parents was getting better, and of course I still got to play baseball.

               Soon after this a new job opportunity came up, I interviewed, and got the job. To me this was great, because the one thing that I thought was wrong in my life was being solved. Good job, good relationships, and in the best shape I had been in in around six years. What I didn’t know, was that it was time for me to come face to face with this monster that I had been ignoring for years and years. For my new job, I had to go through child protection clearances, and would have to take the tests that go along with them. What these tests did for me was open the door to the problems I was hiding from the world and myself, I still don’t know what I was hiding, but at least I know it is there. In the past four years working out and playing baseball have been the only way I could regulate my mental health issues. My workouts have been sporadic, they’ve been random, there has been no real rhyme or reason to them, just simply ‘lose weight for baseball.’

               Today I am starting a 12-week workout program, which I am going to extend to thirteen weeks because of a little vacation that is planned. I want to take steps in the right direction to be healthier, really do something coherent in the gym, and eat healthy. Not only for my physical wellbeing, but for my mental. Don’t worry, I am also doing something about my mental health issue. Today starts a roughly three-month Journey, I will update tomorrow on what my plan is, what my weight is, and how day one went.

Cheers!

[oncearoundthegarrison-blog]

London to Lundy Part 1

5 months sounds like a long time, but when you’ve started a new job in a completely different industry, it flies by. New colleagues, new commute, new schedule, new maze-like museum building that took at least a month to get used to. Even new vocabulary. 

I felt like I was desperately treading water, slowly drowning in a sea of to-dos. It finally took the Christmas period, when the museum was closed, most colleagues and external contacts had taken holidays and my telephone and inbox fell quiet, that I had a moment to realise... I have 13 days of annual leave to use up before the end of the financial year.

My husband’s birthday is in March, so I thought we could go somewhere together to celebrate, as we had been doing the last few years. The thing is, my husband works in a small company, a team of 3, in fact. Unfortunately, the other 2 also have their birthdays in March, so, being the most junior, he felt he couldn’t take a week off, especially because they were planning a work trip around that time too.

“You should go on a yoga retreat by yourself.” he suggested. As if I wanted to pay hundreds of pounds to go and spend days stretching with strangers, some of whom were guaranteed to be a little too ‘woo-woo’ for my taste (no offence). 

I decided I wanted to do something that was ‘worthwhile’ with my time. After hours researching expensive (and scammy) conservation holidays, scrolling through WorkAways and WWOOFing opportunities, I somehow landed on the jackpot; a National Trust working holiday on Lundy, a three mile long, half mile wide island off the coast of North Devon.

Having hastily signed up and gained a place, I set to work on the dreaded getting-there logistics. The first thing was already ticked off the list. The only way of getting from the Devon coast onto Lundy Island at that time of the year is by Helicopter. With that booked, I looked into getting from London to Devon and back. 

The autumn before, I had bought my first car. It’s a fully electric Nissan Leaf. Using it largely for the weekly shop and commuting to work (15 minutes if the traffic is nice, 1 hour if it’s the usual), it’s the perfect car for pootling around the city and suburbs, where an electric charger is always close to hand. We’d done the odd 2 hour drives, but the route planning, and adding 30 mins per charge stop, the anxiety of ‘what if the charger we are heading towards is out of order’ was quite stressful, so a solo drive down to Devon seemed a foolhardy concept.

But, the more I tried to arrange the public transport, the more complicated things got. First off, the nearest train station is 25 miles away, and you need to get on a bus for an hour even to get close to the helipad. Not only that but you had to get there by 10am latest, so unless you wanted to leave London at crazy o’clock, you had to arrive the night before and find accommodation. On top of that, on the way back, you have no idea what time your helicopter flight is. “Sometime between 11 and 3pm, and it depends on the weather, you could be delayed to later in the afternoon or even the next day!” So booking a train for the way back was a gamble. Driving to Devon in my electric car started to look like a more attractive, at least simpler, concept.

I’m not what you call a confident driver, and some past long distance drives had been very stressful. It’s hard for me to forget that I could kill myself or anyone else by making a silly mistake. And I make plenty of those in my everyday life. What if I don’t plan well and I run out of charge on my car? The prospect of driving alone, for four hours, which would probably include at least 4 charges, was terrifying. Also, if I want to arrive at the heliport at 9:30am, then I would need to leave at 5:30am, but add on 4 x 30 minute charges is 3:30am, and maybe I should add an extra hour in case I take the wrong turning or there is traffic or a diversion... well that’s crazy o’clock. So I decided to break up the journey by stopping off at my uncle’s in Bristol.

The week before setting off, I made sure to check and double check the route on the Zap-Map app, which shows you the locations of all the EV chargers. I read reviews of each charger, making sure it was used recently and recorded as having a successful charge. I made sure I knew the locations of at least 2 other chargers near the one I actually planned to charge at, in case that one was occupied or faulty. 

I wrote out the addresses of each charger, in case I lost my phone. I packed a portable power bank for my phone, in case it ran out of battery. I found out what numbers I need to call if I break down or run out of charge, or have an accident (yeah OK I should’ve known those already). Some chargers require you to start the charge using your mobile phone... but what if you didn’t have enough reception? I drove my husband crazy with my fretting and stressing. I made sure I had enough car snacks and a good playlist.

Then the day finally came. I left for Bristol around 9.00am. It was a bright sunny day and I left in high spirits, onto the M4. Forty minutes later, dirty black clouds appear and it starts to properly pour. The roads were not too busy but there was a ropey 15 minutes of very poor visibility, the spray from the other cars and lorries obscuring the road like a thick fog. My heart pumping, I was very glad to arrive at my first charge stop at a service station just after 10am.

There, I struck up a conversation with a fellow Nissan Leaf driver, and I asked him if he’d heard the rumour that you shouldn’t charge your car up to 100% on one of the rapid chargers (there are a few different charge speeds, you see). It’s something I was told by the customer services person when I rang up the helpline on a day a charger refused to stop charging (really reassuring). The man looked at me doubtingly and said that he hadn’t. When he left, I googled it and it really does seem to be the case that it damages your battery. I hope he looked it up later as well. I had a hot chocolate in the Starbucks, charged my phone and bought some gloves, as I forgot to pack mine. Feeling panicked about damaging the battery, I headed off at 82% charged.

Luckily, the closer I got to Bristol and my uncle’s flat, the lower the speed limit, the more traffic there was. I say lucky because driving in those circumstances uses up much less charge than going 70mph down the motorway. By 11:40 I have arrived at my final charge stop, a Bannatyne Health Club just round the corner from my final destination. I was even more happy to see that it was a simple plug in, tap your contactless card and charge jobby. You’d think that’s how all chargers are, but no. EV chargers are run by different providers, I have no less than 5 different apps on my phone plus a physical tap card, and there’s still some chargers where I have to spend ages registering on a website in order to start a charge. Mental.

I go into the health club and explain I’m not a member but would like to sit in the cafe while my car charges. I was a bit worried they would turn me away, but, just as my Zap-Map colleagues had reassured me, they asked me to sign in to a guest book and let me in. I order a tea and settle down for 20 minutes. In hindsight, during my journey to Devon and back, I think I spent almost the same amount of money on beverages and nibbles waiting for the car to charge as for the charge itself!

Anyway, all in all a smooth journey to Bristol, and I get to my uncle’s around 12:15, just in time for lunch. After a lovely afternoon taking in the sights of Bristol (managed to catch the excellent Wildlife Photography of The Year 2019 exhibition at M Shed, see below for the fun image of a shocked Himalayan marmot that won the Grand Title) and catching up with a friend over a quick drink in the evening, I go to bed early, ready for an early start in the morning.

[aroihkin]

Redbox vs welding, in which I hash some thoughts out. Comments welcome.

Okay, so. Redbox is still the best job I’ve ever had; even my shittiest redbox day has been better than most of my good days at literally any previous job. It’s insane.

I was hired on at $13.25/hour and got a huge raise for my first year that shot me up to $15.58/hour, and I am coming up quickly on my second redboxiversary. No bad audits, no speeding tickets, everything is smooth sailing. I probably won’t get that type of raise again because I was one of only 30 people in the whole company who did and it’s kind of a luck thing, but that’s alright. I got it when I needed it most (year 1), so I’m grateful. It’ll probably be more like a fifty cent raise and that’s alright.

See, none of that is a problem. For driving around listening to podcasts and music all day, doing my work without any bosses looking over my shoulder, my pay rate is amazing and I have no complaints there. Sure I gotta work in the rain sometimes but I bought an amazing rain coat from the UK and now that’s not even a problem.

What the problem is… is I was hired at 22 hours as my weekly cap (so about 20-21 hours a week in effect), and… I am still at 22 hours. Almost two years in.

I have gained no new territory since starting. Even the one (1) EcoATM I now service in town is literally right next to my redbox kiosk and so adds maybe… idk, ten minutes to my allowed time? At best?

I make enough to get by, relatively comfortably. When I’m careful to max hour my hours and get over 20 a week, I’m doing well. Sometimes I cover for someone taking time off and I get a nice juicy extra chunk of pay on that check, but it’s not consistent or reliable.

Problem is, I don’t make enough to do more than tread water. Yeah, I spend too much, I admit it, but the amount I spend isn’t enough to make a difference in the big stuff I need to do.

I need to get my credit back on track, which means paying off a bunch of old debt. I need to be able to afford another used car when Sapphire eventually shits the bed – and with the amount of driving I do for work, it’s a ‘when’ not an ‘if’. I would really like to be paying on a mortgage instead of rent before I’m 40… I’ve had so many slumlords that the idea of fixing everything myself doesn’t even phase me, I’ve been doing that most places I’ve lived and I was paying rent.

I don’t know how likely I am to do any of that while working 20ish hours a week for Redbox.

“Get another part time job” sounds reasonable, right? Except I can’t do shit that involves customers, clients, or patients. My redbox job is customer-facing, but it isn’t customer-service. I’m allowed to not laugh at the one millionth iteration of the same stupid jokes, and I can tell people not to touch me. And then I get in my car, crank up the music, and drive to my next stop far far away from whoever the fuck that was. I’m not chained to a counter, or trapped in a building.

Manufacturing jobs 1) aren’t in this area, 2) are never part time. And if I was going to bother with that kind of unpaid, 1-1.5 hour (one way) commute, and work a full time job…

Well, for one thing, I’d be better off welding. Same commute, same hours, twice the starting pay, and infinitely more job security than literally any other manufacturing thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve done a lot.

But for another thing, what about Redbox.

This isn’t mindless company loyalty going on here, it’s the fact that I actually like this job. I like the independent work, I like the company itself. They are officially, in legal documentation, enforce-ably LGBT friendly. Both my boss and my boss’ boss are covered in tattoos, and my boss’ boss has purple hair. It’s a good company.

But if I go get a full time welding job (and there are no part time welding jobs), I doubt I’ll be able to keep Redbox. Welding jobs are 40 hour weeks with mandatory overtime. I doubt I could sustain 60+ hours a week (plus commute) of the two jobs for long.

If I went the welding route, here’s my plan. I finish welding at the local community college, possibly even finish my AA for the fuck of it while I slowly try to fix my credit via Redbox wages and grant money for being a student. I just gotta get it out of “abysmal” and into “have a shitty loan rate” territory. Then I get a student loan for 7k and attend the big welding school in Modesto, while still working at Redbox. I figured it out and I could make that work.

Then I get done with that school and… they help me get a job – they do lifetime job placement assistance. And it’s like, okay, so let’s say I go that route and I find a welding job I like, and then I bid Redbox farewell. What if I turn out to be a shit welder? I’d be in another $7k of debt and out of a really really good job.

But then again I know there’s lots of shitty welders out there with stable jobs.

So maybe I’m just scaring myself for nothing and clinging to Redbox because it’s the one shiny I’ve found and I’m loathe to let it go… but christ you guys I’ve never had a good job before. My resume is multiple pages long and they were all absolute shit.

But if I leap into welding, I’d be making 4x the money easily and very possibly still be in a job that I like. Because what do I like about Redbox? I like being left the fuck alone, able to listen to my music/podcasts and do my fuckin job without holding anyone’s hands or having someone stare over my shoulder.

What’s welding? By its very nature of fusing two pieces of molten metal together, it’s also a job where you get left the fuck alone. I have hearing protection that can play anything my phone streams to it, under my hood. Welding would actually involve less customer interaction – which is to say, none. I’d occasionally have someone look over my shoulder, but not constantly, and it’d be more of a course correction kind of thing. “Hey this bead’s too fat, speed up.” That kind of shit. Not “MMmmnyes I am a corporate dingleberry, here to sneer at you in passing without even having spoken to you and then go tell your immediate supervisor to get rid of you literally because you’re sitting down with permission to do part of your job that doesn’t require standing, I am very rich”.

Which, if you couldn’t tell by the specificity, I’ve encountered before. More than once, though the sitting thing was only one specific factory.

I just, don’t know. Fuck.

I wish Redbox would just magically find more shit for me to do. I know if I stuck with them for the course of my working life I’d eventually hit full time, but it’s like… I’m 34? Drowning in debt? With no savings? Cuz every time I save up $1k, something happens to Sapphire that costs at least that much to fix, or there’s a big vet visit, or both…

I feel like I’m just being an impatient baby but I don’t know. December 13th will be my second anniversary with Redbox and I’m still like… spinning my wheels in the mud. For more money per hour than I started, but…

[kimminstudying]

Note: I’m pretty sure I made this list last summer and since school finally over I figured I would reflect on these and see how well I did and how I could improve. Linked below is the original post that has all of the goals I will be talking about, but since I write them down here I’m sure you don’t need to read it to understand what I am talking about, but I put it there just in case. This is just a review of my goals from last year, I will create a separate post for my new goals for this summer and next year. 

The Original Post

⊳ Money

Goal #1: Work towards saving more of your paychecks ✓

I did a good job of saving money, but I went back and forth as time went on. During the summer I would spend money at work during my breaks but I was making way more than I am currently during the school year. I would still spend money like I was when I was making more, but when I learned that I got better at budgeting my cash. 

Now that I have a car and have a monthly bill for it as well as gas, I am getting better at saving the money I need for the said bill. 

I plan on moving out within the year so I need to save up as much as I possibly can. I am moving out with two of my best friends, if all goes as planned, we will be splitting rent and bills between the three of us. 

Goal #2: Put half of checking into a savings account on payday ✖ I did this for a while, but then I saw that it wasn’t really helping me as much as I thought it would. I would end up having like $6 in my checking account before payday comes so I didn’t see a point in just transferring $3 when I was going to get more of it, so what I did was estimate how much money I would need for the week and then put the rest in savings. If I knew I was going out or had bills to pay during that week, I would leave that money in the account. This proved to work way better for me than what I had originally planned to do. 

What I ended up doing was creating a separate savings account for my new house/apartment so I had an emergency account and a moving out account. I would only use my emergency account for things like bills, unpredicted expenses, or big purchases such as a new laptop for school and blogging. But I keep it at $500, just in case I needed it. Right now it’s at like $450 since I needed to pay my car bill and I didn’t work much this week, but what I do is I rebuild it as fast as possible and hopefully, I do not need to take more money out of it.

When I am rebuilding my emergency fund, not as much or no money goes into my “moving out” account, so I am more motivated to save money so I can get both accounts back in order. I am going back to my old job this summer, since it is seasonal work, and I know I am going to be working close to 40 hours a week since I will be 18 they would work me as much as possible, which I like since it’s a job I love with wonderful coworkers. Not to mention we get so many gift cards it’s not even funny. We all love free money. 

*Update: My family has encouraged me to stay home while I am studying at a college that I am commuting to. My father said he won’t charge me rent as long as he can afford to keep me at home and even if he does it won’t be more than $100 a month which he and I agreed on for a price. That account is now for saving up for a new car. 

Goal #3: Have a spending limit when going out ✓

This goes along with what I was saying before about leaving money in my checking account if I have plans to spend it. I like planning my week out and so I tell my friends if they want to make plans they need to do it a few days in advance so I can see if I don’t have work or scheduled time to study, since I am the “nerd” if my group, all of my friends respect how I plan things. 

They also respect when I tell them I don’t have money to go out. Sometimes I’d rather save my money than use it on movie tickets, of course with the occasional splurge here and there on a new pair of shoes or a delicious dinner. When times get like that, we all agree to do something else that is either really cheap or free, such as having a sleepover or going to the park. 

Goal #4: Establish an “okay amount” to spend daily on coffee, breakfast, etc. ✖

I also did this for a little while, putting away $15 every check to get coffee in the morning before school. Since saving money is a learning experience, I’m messing up now rather than ten or twenty years from now. Doing this put be at risk for developing bad spending habits, $3-$4 a day adds up way faster than you think, the next thing you know you’re spending over $50 in a month for morning coffee runs. Now I’m not saying I never go to buy food and coffee before or after school, sometimes it’s great to treat yourself by doing so. Typically, I buy creamers and coffee grounds to make at home and sometimes I’ll buy a bundle of bananas to last me the week. I saw that not only did it save me money, it also saved me about a half hour in the morning. Meaning a half hour more of sleep. 

While my coffee brews I walk my dog for a few minutes so she can go to the bathroom before everyone else in the house wakes up, and I start my car so it can run a bit before I leave. This is especially good since where I live the weather is unpredictable and it can frost over my windows at any time. If I catch this early enough I can defrost my windows before I go to school.

For about a month I would do something called “Fuck it Friday” where I bought coffee, snacks, whatever I wanted since I get paid every Friday. I saw that when I did this, I would just end up spending the amount I typically would in a whole week in one day, so I quickly stopped doing that and I plan on going back to making coffee at home. Goal #5: Add spare change to change dispenser in car ✖

I don’t use cash that often, which means I don’t really get change, but when I do have some lying around, it normally goes right into a bank I have in my room. When I have change in my car, I do tend to put it into the dispenser but then I’ll sometimes use it to give to the people asking for spare change or to buy a piece of candy at the store.

⊳ Languages

Goal #1: Take review notes of language material learned over the summer ✓

I did a really good job over the summer with posting a lot here, at least in my opinion, but when the school year started I posted a little less. In my first semester, I had a bit more time to post multiple times a week for multiple blogs, but when the second semester hit I began to prioritize my schooling over languages and blogs. I started to post at least once a week, but I noticed my language learning for Korean and Italian has gone down a lot because of it.

I take French in school so I practice it every day, and there are so many French posts I have drafted I’m in love. During the summer I worked more on Italian and Korean since my French was already way way way better, and I knew I would be taking it as a class during the school year.  Goal #2: Listen to podcasts in the halls instead of music ✖

I really was going to do this, but right as summer ended I lost my apple headphones and I was not going to spend thirty dollars or so to get new ones, so I just didn’t have podcasts. I have my old phone, which is a Samsung, for music so I just used that with regular headphones.

Even when I got apple headphones from my dad’s fiancee, I still didn’t really listen to podcasts. I think it’s because I don’t want to start a new one or a new audio lesson if I am just walking three minutes to my next class. When I go back to my old job, however, that’ll change. It’s part of a program with my school for getting students into the workforce, so there is a bus that provides us with transport. I have a 45-minute ride there and an over 2-hour long ride back. No excuses to not listen to a podcast or two!

Goal #3: Mondly/Duolingo and Lingodeer during breakfast/as a part of your morning routine ✖

I used to be really good at doing these daily, but then I lost motivation. Even before I would never have a long streak, but I would just try to do it as often as possible to make up for it. There was a time where I didn’t even look at these apps for over a month, but I didn’t notice much of a change in my language comprehension. But I want to get back into it since I don’t have a lot of time now to sit down and do a couple of grammar lessons.  Goal #4: Post weekly to studyblr/langblr for Italian and Korean review notes of what you studied over the summer. ✓

Again, I feel like I did a better job with this during the summer and my first semester of this year. I have several vocab lists saved just in case I don’t feel like studying but I need to do my weekly post. There are some times when I’ll be really motivated for no reason and just make like twelve vocab lists and I draft them for future use.

⊳ Health/Lifestyle

Goal # 1: Wake up at 6am ✓

Waking up early does not equal productivity, I learned that the hard way. I wake up that early for school, but during the weekends or on breaks I wake up normally at 8-9am if I don’t have to work that morning, which I rarely do since I work the night shift (typically around 1-12am I work). 

Goal # 2: Go to bed at 10pm - 11pm ✖

If I am not working I go to bed at around 11pm at the latest, but there are some nights I get home at around 11:30 so I don’t sleep until 1-2am. This is usually weekends so I don’t have an issue since in my state it’s illegal to work minors after 10pm on a school night and 11pm on a weekend. 

But now that I’m 18 and it’s summer, I can anticipate a lot of overnight shifts or longer hours! I’m not complaining, I’d rather work at night than in the daytime anyway. 

Goal # 3: 5-minute workouts or 10-minute abs in the morning and evening or after school  ✖ Hahaha, I never did this. I’m never gonna do this.   Goal # 4: Floss more ✖ Not happening either, that’s too much man. It’s not that big in my life to floss, even if my dentist tells me to do it more. I have no cavities, no gum issues, so I’m good. Goal # 5: Take your medicines daily ✓ This I’ll admit, I need to do more. Sometimes I’ll go a few days without my meds, but it’s not important that I take them daily, since they are “as needed” medicines. I should take them at least every other day, but I am getting better at that.  Goal # 6: Morning and Nightly Skin Care Routine ✓ I started off slow by only doing my routine in the morning and then occasionally going a nightly routine. My skin is really sensitive so this worked for me, putting on too much product would either make my skin too dry or too oily. If the weather is affecting my skin, I’ll add on an extra moisturizer if need be. 

Basically, I only do a night time routine when I get home from work or school late and my face feels really gross. Since I shower at night I wash my face with a gentle cleanser in the shower. That’s usually it. 

Goal # 7: Face mask while you study ✓   Doing facemasks too often also negatively affects my skin as well. I normally do one when I’m with my friends or when my skin really needs it. 

Goal # 8: Drink more water ✖

Again, I need to do this way more often than I do. I think this is mainly because the water fountains at my school are utterly disgusting. I don’t know if it’s because our school is under construction, but it’s always been gross if I remember correctly. 

⊳ School

Goal #1: SAT Fee Waiver ✓ 

THIS SAVES LIVES. At my school, if you have free or reduced lunch, you get fee waivers for all sorts of things. AP Exams, Applications, even SAT Exams. You only get two for the SAT so you need to use them wisely. Most students don’t even know that their school offers fee waivers that either cover costs completely or reduce the fee. Make sure you ask, it doesn’t do any harm!

Goal #2: October SAT  ✓

I took the October SAT and got a 1050, which is way over than what the school I wish to go to is asking for. Then I retook the exam in June since I had one more waiver left, and I got a 1080. Now the college I want to go to has a 960 SAT Average and I needed at least a 500 on the Math and English portions to be exempt from the entrance exams.

Goal #3: Research application deadlines ✓ My school was a big help with this, especially since I’m starting at community college for my first two years. I’m accepted as a student and have already selected my classes, but there were some issues with my FASFA that I still need to resolve.  Goal #4: Check scholarship board ✓ My school was also a big help with this as well, they print out all the available scholarships for that month, the criteria, AND the due dates! All I had to do was complete the applications, no fishing for free money. 

Goal #5: Study at least 15 minutes a day ✓

I was strong with this with my first semester classes, since I enjoyed the work and had daily tasks I needed to do for one of the classes. When the second semester came, things changed. Most of my classes are easy, no homework and very little classwork that I got done early. All but AP Calc. 

The way my teacher is, he doesn’t grade the problem sets he assigns. He’ll give us class participation points if we are working in class, but the problems are mainly for our own benefit. I don’t let myself not do the problems just because I won’t get a grade I’m struggling in that class now and I do all that I can to bring my grade up, but it’s not really doing much. If this is the only class I fail, then I’m glad it's AP Calculus AB and not English or something. I don’t need calc to graduate or to still obtain scholarships, it was an extra class I regret taking. 

⊳ Misc.

Goal #1: Watch more Netflix when stressed ✓ I found that I’m not much of a TV or Show person unless it’s a really good show that I get hooked on. I’d much rather destress by having time to myself and browsing social media for hours.  Goal #2: Take your time with everything ✓ This allowed me to get better with time management, taking things slow, thinking carefully, and making myself okay with the idea of rescheduling plans. Goal #3: Think before you speak/act ✓ Doing this made me do things I was glad I did and knew I would never do if I hadn’t thought it out. I became the friend who would do and say the things everyone else was afraid of.  Goal #4: Try listening to others about their day ✓ This kind of went along with the goals #2 and #3 but this also worked out for me and I feel it made me somewhat of a better person??? Yea, just listen to people when they talk to you and ask them questions. Let them know you care about them, you don’t know how much it could raise their spirits.  Goal #5: Attend Coalition meeting (every third Friday) ✖ As much as I wanted to, I could not attend meetings. I didn’t have an adult representative from my school to escort me and possibly other students, therefore I could not attend meetings. 

~brianna