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july-19th-club · 2 years ago

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Recap for Roswell: New Mexico S2E12: “Crash Into Me”: con drama

Buckle up: we are officially in the home fucking stretch. The compounding lies in the Max/Liz relationship (each constructed out of a misguided attempt to ‘protect’ the other, each digging deeper and wider holes that will eventually connect, like the holes in the movie Holes, into a small canyon of deceit)are getting bigger. Liz groks the excessive antidote use; Max is bursting lightbulbs in the desert (is this his ‘light cardio’? it’s like he’s asking to have another heart attack). Meanwhile they only halfway resolve their fight about her continued interest in using alien DNA to solve every health issue in the world. They’re able to avoid these couples’ trust issues because they have much bigger problems, but stressful times are no cure for unresolved arguments. We’re building toward an impasse here, folks.

Meanwhile, we get some rapid-fire exposition via Isobel, who mind-reads her niece Mimi and learns that, whatever else is going on with Helena, she has known Rosa’s been alive all season. It’s revenge that drives her. But time-untethered Mimi feels absolutely certain that Helena wouldn’t do anything to hurt the missing members of our party (or, she says later, “our girls” - so sans Charlie, maybe she’s not talking about them). When Helena says she’s going to war, does she mean at Jesse’s side or...secretly against him? We’ve all seen how well it goes when one of our heroes tries to break stuff from the inside, but maybe she’s devious enough to succeed where the much less seasoned Alex failed? It’s interesting to have her here, and she’s becoming a much more faceted character than originally supposed, but I also can’t help but feel that her connections to the overall plot are rather rushed for the sake of a late-season reveal. It’ll even out if we get more of her later, but for now I feel like I’m scrambling to catch up.

It’s clear from the outset that Michael’s incentive to work on the biobomb - seeing Alex - is never going to come to fruition, at least if their captors get what they want. What they want is for Michael and Charlie to complete a weapon for finely-tuned ethnic cleansing, a weapon whose initial component Charlie invented for what she naively thought would be “good, in the right hands.” But it’s like she said earlier in the season; she has learned too late that any invention, no matter how benevolently thought up, can be put to a destructive use. And even her initial reasons weren’t entirely benevolent - she told Liz she was thinking about its medical applications, but she tells Michael now she was also thinking about its wartime uses. And it’s the military: they’re gonna go for the ethnic cleansing. It doesn’t take two geniuses trapped in a room with unassembled bomb parts to figure the ideal test target is likely to be the aliens, nor to realize it wouldn’t stop there. Now they are become death - if they do what they’re told.

Max and Cam are back together, buddy copping their way through the last of the Valenti connections - it was Jim who helped get Rosa to the pod, who probably hoped, before his death, that Noah would help him revive her. Helena has kept a ton of his stuff, and from the looks of it was mourning him for years. He also comes clean to Cam about his antidote usage after she hounds him a bit about his sweaty, clammy looks. He keeps hoping it will give him a clue to his pre-crash identity, pushing at the boundaries of his health in the chance that he’ll remember something important. Maybe he’ll listen to a warning from Cam that he won’t listen to from Liz...but I wouldn’t count on it.

Meanwhile, back at the kidnapping, Michael points out the obvious: his work on the bomb is complete, and he’s still alive. This points to bigger goals than ‘just kill a couple of aliens,’ and because he is Michael and never met an authority figure he couldn’t mouth off to, he tries to...well, negotiate would be a strong word. But he pleads with Helena to reconsider - her daughters will never forgive her - though she says that ship has sailed. And for that matter, she’s probably right. But she does concede that her goals don’t align completely with the Manes’, and offers a third version of the disaster adage those guys are always spouting off. Is she a mole?

If I were kidnapping someone, and he happened to carry around with him at all times a blunt object that he could use either to hit me and possibly overpower me or to merely run away from me, I too would steal it from him and hide it where he couldn’t get it. As a sibling, however, if my brother had a tool he required in order to walk, I probably wouldn’t steal it from him and hide it where he couldn’t get it, unless I was being a real dick. It is in this situation that we at last find Alex, who probably never assumed that he’d have to worry about leg thieves on top of everything else he’s been through. And, characteristically, leg theft is far from his biggest worry in today’s lineup of events. There’s also murderous sibling, murderous parent, love of his life in danger of both regular death and death by hypertargeted ethnic cleansing...the list goes on. What a fuckin’ year, huh?

Their reunion is brief but tender, and no sooner has Michael fallen not entirely platonically into his arms than he’s added another problem to the list: Helena’s version of fighting from the inside is to swap components in the building process. Her target is Maneses; Jesse specifically, as Jim’s murderer, but she’ll be happy to take Flint down with him. Presumably, those of his sons outside the blast zone will be spared. Michael, for Alex’s sake, still intends to try and do something about the attack - but also for Alex’s sake, refuses to rescue him just yet. Ah, a classic lover’s quarrel.

In the lull before the big CrashCon showdown, we have time for another, rather worse, one. Max says Jesse Manes is a murderer (and was planning on adding to his body count) and deserves what’s coming to him, even if Helena’s methods are extreme (true). Liz says any crime committed by a member of a marginalized group gets fixated on, and creates backlash against, that group, and she has a right to be terrified and upset about the idea of her mother getting caught (true). Liz says that anyone who is a member of the acceptable class or can pass within it cannot possibly ‘get’ the experience of someone who can’t or doesn’t (true). Max says Liz’s attempts to gain recognition through her scientific work smack of glory-chasing and that she can’t exceptional-minority-myth her way to world-saving happiness (...true). They’re getting further away from the task by the minute, and closer to the crux of the problem between them. Liz’s perfectionism and sense of achievement have always been about both fear and obsession, but she’s not the only one with a chip on her shoulder about saviorism. I mean, it’s Max. The impasse is creeping - no, hurtling - into sight.

And then we’re in the home stretch’s home stretch. In the course of their argument, Liz talks her way into one of the biggest flaws in her mother’s revenge plan - it can’t be turned into a quiet affair. Jesse’s a noted glory hound himself, and he would receive no recognition from the deaths of a few small-town citizens of seemingly arbitrary causes, especially since this first group of targets can pass for majority. He would want his work, and his reasons, noted and agreed with. He would want funding and approval, would want to ensure that he could keep using his weapon, for whatever purposes he deemed fit. He would need the genuine article if he wanted to convince his public that the threat he’s ‘defeating’ is real. And he has one: the rebuilt remains of Nora’s last project, now in the hands of that annoying museum curator and on full display in the middle of the fairground. Max reckons he knows what it is (remote for a ship; Michael gives him the most incredulous ‘what’ which seems more to do with the fact that he’s being shown up on alien mechanics by Max of all people) - but what it is seems far less important at this juncture than what it does, which is, historically, to explode very easily. It’s being stored in the most fire-hazardous way possible, the better to discreetly set it off. The blast will create the right environment for Jesse to launch his DNA bomb, and the paper trail he’s laid out will lead straight to his victims. One has to assume that Helena did not know the full extent of this plan; for all her impulsiveness, lack of foresight, and personal weaknesses she is not the kind of person who would allow a collateral damage as large as we’re looking at just to ensure the death of one man.

Speaking of, let’s talk about villain motives. Last year’s villain was one man, who used his relative anonymity to manipulate, abuse, and kill individuals who were equally as overlooked as he was. His death and the aftermath of what he’d done could only be talked about freely among a small group of people, most of them his surviving victims. In a small-town story, even the most brutal struggles exist on the micro scale; conflicts are between individuals, and perhaps that’s why it took me nearly as long as the characters to fully grasp the impact of this new antagonist’s motives. Even though Jesse Manes started out talking about large-scale things, he had gradually fallen into the general background layer of feuding and rivalry, and just like his son, I underestimated him. The conflict is bigger than his attempts to live up to what he perceives as his family’s legacy. It is bigger than a grieving woman trying to end him in a way she feels is fitting to his crimes. It is bigger than his hatred for a specific group of three people living quiet lives in Roswell.

If he fails tonight, he will likely hardly suffer. Sure, he’s literally planning a terror attack, but he is a white, resspected veteran, and society will find a way to excuse his actions even as our heroes, lest they risk exposure, struggle to provide proof of what he’s capable of. Succeeding, he will harm, probably kill, dozens of people (and that’s a conservative estimate), adding to the already boiling atmosphere of xenophobia and intolerance that informs not only his worldview but that of half of his children, many of his neighbors, and absolutely his authorities. The stakes are not tidy or personal now.

I’ll admit, I was surprised to see ‘conspiracy thriller’ win out over ‘revenge killing’ - though not displeased. This show sometimes stumbles into or out of its forays into social and political commentary, but in the final stretch of the episode it fires on all cylinders. Our little Scooby Gang isn’t the cast of Person of Interest; they’ve never had to thwart domestic terrorism before. They’re a bunch of mostly-unemployed twenty-nine-year-olds, and the only one with anything approaching experience is chained up miles away so he doesn’t die in Helena’s counterattack. But not for long. Our local cinderella man (trapped by a cruel family, wants to go to the festival, looking for a lost foot shoe) is fully fed up waiting. When Flint next comes in to taunt him, he figuratively jumps at the opportunity. First he appeals to compassion - not that Flint has that anymore. Then he tries heritage - it sounds like once upon a time his big brother used to have softness and creative impulses of his own. “When was the last time,” he asks, “that you made something that wasn’t supposed to be destructive?”

But Flint doesn’t have any respect for weaving, or stories, or the quiet pleasure taken in giving life to something that’s just nice to look at or comforting to wrap around your shoulders. He doesn’t hum new bars of music to himself to while away the captivity. He doesn’t take out his pent-up trauma on something useful, like firewood. He’s got one hobby, and that’s being the best Manes man he can be. Dad didn’t mess him up! It’s just Alex that’s that way! Alex is the pathetic one. He and Clay turned out fine! (Up to this point, I had forgotten Clay existed. This may actually be the first time Brother #4’s name has even been mentioned. Wherever he is, he sounds like a chip off the old block). Even Gregory’s going to CrashCon! By now he is right up in Alex’s face, which means he’s within kicking distance. Cinderella brains Drizella and grabs the keys. Risk of dying in a targeted DNA bomb be damned, he’s getting his foot and he’s getting the fuck out of here.

He arrives after dark, as the rest of the gang try futilely to minimize the damage they know is coming. Liz tears off to the lab, where she concocts something that seems to be working correctly when it explodes a beaker - but she’s followed in secret by Diego, who I guess is already tired of being a tertiary character. Rosa and Maria (and Cam, elsewhere) are trying to figure out how in the hell to evacuate a whole fairground, bumping into Greg Manes (he’s not just your cool brother, he’s a mild-mannered grade school teacher! Good lord!) and awkwardly telling him to get his field trip back on the bus and out of the line of fire. And Michael’s bang on the money when he takes one look at Nora's project and decides Max and his tachycardia aren’t allowed near it because he might accidentally set it on fire.

Then Flint shows up. He’s overpowered Charlie and arrived with Jesse’s bomb canister (the one Charlie was supposed to dismantle). And then Alex confronts his dad. And then Max decides the most useful thing he can possibly do is singlehandedly try to stop Flint from completing the attack and it’s one exertion too many on top of his constant insistence that he’s totally fine, god, guys, quit making such a big deal about the fact that I almost died of heart failure this year!

The fireworks have ignited the Highly Flammable Location. Charlie is trapped in the burning house. Jesse is this close to setting off one bomb canister (the one that’ll kill him and also three-quarters of his family). Maria’s finds the other bomb canister and chucks it way out into a field, but not before she starts bleeding in a super-distressing way. Gregory finds his family at the exact wrong time and so does Michael and a shooting seems very extremely imminent. Max tries to hand-kill Flint??? And maybe succeeds? And then has another heart attack — Rosa and Liz stand frantically over him —

It’s a cliffhanger, folks! We’ll see you next week.

A fun nod to the fact that these characters would swear so much more if they weren’t on network TV from Rosa, who has resorted to saying ‘give a duck’: “Oh, I just found out about autocorrect, it’s hilarious.”

Arturo’s Arturo’s Churros hat. That man loves him some novelty headgear.

Alex, in any situation where he could use Michael’s first name: lastnames him

Liz still with the Mikey: exact opposite situation. Trusted friends and research partners can nickname you but the love of your life will call you what he’s called you since twelfth grade because anything else would either indicate a moment too intimate for words or be too weird

Max, still miffed about not being as much of a Fitness Guy as Kyle and Diego: “I don’t think they drink beers; it’s not keto.” Don’t worry, king, I like your lack of ab definition, and that’s not sarcasm I mean it sincerely. I think you need more of a muffin top.

“I was held hostage, Max! I deserve to ride the Scrambler until I barf cotton candy...and maybe watch a bad man die :)”

In the Manes family, if you are named after a rock or a geographical feature, you’re a really fucked up dude. If you have a basic-guy name you’re chill though

“She...doesn’t wanna kill aliens?” “Nope. Avenging her murdered lover.” “Oh my god, I love a good telenovela.” This show is a great at being a novela, and I can’t believe I forgot that

One last ominous nugget to stay up with at night: Jesse tells Alex he should understand collateral damage ‘better than anyone.’ Is he talking about the obvious: he’s missing a limb; he is collateral damage? Or is he talking about some shit Alex did over there that we still don’t know about?

#this one took fucking forEVEr because the last time i was watching tv was sunday and then i didnt sleep #so i had to take a break for my fucking health #absolutely disgraceful situation that i am in #roswell nm #q #recaps #reviews #roswell: new mexico

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benchgenderstudies · 3 years ago

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Busting Dr Cynthia Buliks Injurious Revisionism of Anorexia and Eating Disorders.

By Michael Bench, MEP, WGSGC

1.Can you tell who has eating disorders?

Cynthia says “no”.

Actual Answer: Yes.

Starvation effects are observable and anorexia is cosmetic starvation. Those females with an early eating disorder (EDNOS) or using Anorexic behaviors should be addressed and reported to school staff or counseling for their safety; Crash Dieting is disordered eating even if not a diagnosis and is part of a larger social problem of aversions to patient and honest physical conditioning. Crash diets are the tools of lushes. The very lushes that publish female targeted media promoting cleanses and ‘quick fix tips’. Medical and health advice, if from a document, should only come from academic journals.

2.Are mothers to blame:

Cynthia says no.

Actual Answer: Often

Mothers who have seasonal weight control efforts and use crash diets to cheat their way to a 'beach body” are modeling disordered eating. Crash diets are disordered eating. Mothers involved with pageants have also been known to use other methods like infecting their daughters with tapeworms to reach a desired thinness.

3.Are families to blame?

Cynthia says no.

Actual Answer:Yes.Situationally.

Involvement with sport, social or classist activities that prioritize gender roles before sport itself is a complicity to eating disorders and body dysmorphia. A parent who willingly lets an industry or coach alter her child’s course of physical maturity is actively neglecting their child no matter what the presumed benefits. Families also normalize some seasonal classism, poor nutritional behavior, and poor communication that can be seen in children using anorexic trope behavior and insincere-suicidal attention getting. Mothers who believe their daughters should be paying attention to female targeted fashion media and other retail or pop culture are poorly guarding their children.

4.Is society to Blame? (Far too general. Go home Cynthia.)

Actual Answers: Media is to blame partly in that it protects its advertisers exploitation and revisionism of need/want psychology. Media also forwards health talking points for the unhealthy. The term “weight control” for example is an index case of tolerating a slothful deviant-leisure society who cheat their way to “good looks” simply for summer exhibition. Then they return indoors for winter with their indoor sloth and lazy nutritional rituals.

Coaching & Fashion: Females are not males. Training them as males or believing diet is a form of genetic engineering is magical thinking that can injure the athletes. Instead, minimum ages in sport should be raised so children in gymnastics ,for example, are not used as carnival acts. Lacking a period, a females maturity/fill out has not been “stalled”. She is amenorrheic whether with or without a visible menarche; an event itself that’s been postponed. Females cannot sustain low BMI male thinness to appear his heterosexual-binary-other. In fashion , the binary roles are actually the same , only at smaller emaciated sizes and not androgynous as reported. Fashionistas who take their model's health for granted as an act of 'luxury artification” are long guilty of endangering her health/assault , among other violations like complicit child trafficking (Set aside whether the female volunteers the risk, the runway’s terms are decided by the foolish and nihilist cosmosexuals having very little competence about human physiology. Respecting ‘who we are” ,eh?) Females normalizing anorexic/disordered eating as a justification of their (model) career or fame are themselves a microphone for social blame.

5.Are Anorexia and Eating disorders a White race problem/Female problem.

Actual Answer: Yes.

The democratization of Western and American market views of ideal beauty and ideal sexuality has not changed the core source of toxic constructions of binary gender. The manipulation of the female body to conform to eras if disinformation and beauty trends, ie Gibson girl and the Heroin Chic waif, show that 'disordered eating' and its long term effects are practiced as luxury fads. Actual mental disorders escalated to Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa stem from European and South Asian religio-social pacts of personal virtue(Breatherism/Inedia). Ever since the first London and American reports of Inedia or fad fasting the practicioners lied about how little they ate. Anorexia, breatherism and inedia have always been appropriate religious rituals used by desperate zealots for attention.. The vulnerability to this sort of radicalization around fasting links to psychological vulnerability and distortions of their self (a specific form narcissistic personality disorder)

6. Consider the remainder of her list debunked.>>(will add the rest later)

>>Anorexia is NOT A CASH COW.

If researchers want to do genomics research, have at. Anorexia itself has provably been found occurring as fads. If the 'formal' uppity journal community don’t have the courage to admit mental illness can be market caused and that the external sphere of society can be toxic.. it is their own failure to confront it and demand regulation. Gibson Girl, Heroin Chic, and proana ‘lifestyle’, are fads whose females are too often seen as ‘victims’ of a male privilege error rather instead their own stubborn choices and long term effects there of : I reject the notion Anorexia should be tolerated as a go-to for researchers that simply need grant money and repudiate those that attempted to distract its identity. The democratization of Anorexia as ‘everyone’s disease’ leads me to be highly suspicious of Buliks motivations as a professional and what diet/pharm companies are handing her NCEEDUS checks.

“ Aye , I hear you was gonna go on a crash diet. You dont wanna be one of those wanna bes.. A real crash diet , ya cut your own brake cables , go for a drive on elevated roads and see how many cliffs you can climb back up from.”

What is Anorexia Nervosa:

Behaviors of Disordered Eating are not themselves the source of the problem. All persons using crash diet and anorexic symptom behaviors however should be considered ‘eating disordered”. Anorexic behaviors are actions of solving a problem the subject appears to suffer even if originally having a healthy proportioned body. Current research suggests that between 3-10 exposures to any message makes an audience more willing to oblige and 'know' its message. This also means a female convinced that eternal youth is where she must rest her physical body to be beautiful is not technically a mental disorder yet. In the struggle to keep her body looking prepubescent the damages of malnutrition and gray matter deterioration lead to distortions of thought. These distortions then create new symptoms, unoriginal symptoms that are signs of a narcissistic depression and helplessness.

Starting at that point for internal pathology....

If Anorexia is a mental illness aside from market learning then it must be recognized a problem of extreme dissatisfaction with the self that has escalated. Anorexia Nervosa , or the most extreme form of cosmetic starvation is then to be recognized : A narcissistic depression formed from the conflict or inability to adapt to adolescent body changes. Social messages denouncing the mature female body and independence may solidify these formerly inert cautions. Further, body changes of the teen are used by marketers to embarrass and humiliate the teen for imperfections; a classic 'witch hunt' scenario of threatening the girl with being burnt at the stake for not being a sexual object. The anorexic is faced with that environment daily; an environment where she has no choice to identify as an adolescent among peers and media , whether she’s ready to adapt or not. There is a clear ‘at adolescence trigger” that points to an adaptation difficulty in a soup of marketing that denounces the aged female as roast beef, spent, junk in the trunk and other negativity. The Youngest females.. healthy or by pathology would have a difficult time concluding what is good about being female when the unhealthy deposition of fat at the waist and hips is normal for her maturity. That is mainly due to problems in the fitness community media leaving no appreciation for fitness itself. Magazine imagery is purely body sculpted or body building.. actual athletic conditioning with the time allotment it requires.

I am also referring to Anorexia as a form of Gender Dysphoia who's conflicted social and internal views of teen maturity can lead to traumatized states. This should not leave room for stable anorexics or unstable females to characterize the adoption of their injurious methods for 'an in-crowd” elitism.

Anorexia Nervosa and its less severe 'eating disorders.. should actually be called #BodyDysmorphicSIBDieting ( Self Injurious Behavior-Dieting)..It includes caloric restriction, multiple stimulant abuse, dissociative abuse and abuse of prescribed medicines, poor choices in recovery foods which adds to their narcissistic shaming. Pro Ana websites and groups must be understood part of the symptom of a sociopathic “narcissism supply”. Because Anorexia is so well known, applying its known traits can mimic actual anorexics but these body dissatisfied people are factitious disorder candidates. (they are still disordered and mentally unwell. Thereby groups calling themselves pro Ana that taunt new members as ‘wannabes’ are not doing their job as a support group; Support groups and other health resources pages welcome members and hope to spread positiivity. Instead pro ana sites often feature a core group functioning as an exclusive cliq who give merit to the identity of ANOREXICS as it surrounds her; the actual board member is of no consequence. The Pro Ana board is an active process of denial/bargaining by making their narcissist affliction sound positive and trendy.

In no way should statements of recovery or links on these proana sites be presumed to be safe. Anorexia Nervosa is technically an umbrella term for three or more groups necessitating 'shortcutting dieting techniques” to achieve a desireable body. One is truly a mental illness of its own, another is a sociopathic illness that has adopted anorexic traits for its factitious parading.. but is also as serious. Also be mindful that persons starting pro anorexic boards might also be sadists and psychopaths who find artificial arousal in providing a place for harm. All persons utilizing starvation and self abuse for an undisciplined 'thinspired body” are all heading to the same fatal end; including fashion models. Anorexia in name, in diagnosis, or in method IS STILL ANOREXIA. A refusal of recovery and presumption that anorexia is a lifestyle in name , point to a group still in denial that their practices are injurious. Denial of self failure/deception is one narcissist flaw even if the personality disorder symptoms dont apply to the factitious supplicants

Third is a general category of body dissatisfied females who use encourage each other with SIB Diet techniques rather than actually go to a gym and perform both cardio AND resistance-exercise-for-STRENGTH.. which will infact lead to hypertrophy and better metabolism. This third group is often heckled by the others as fakers and wannarexics. In fact it is the other two groups proving the sociopathic tendencies of their guilt being made manifest on others. Since they cannot empathize, they neither should be empathized. Those yelling 'wannarexics” can be considered social trash and treated accordingly. A combined trait among all 'anorexics' is they mistake strength as an inside characteristic to excuse responsible self conditioning. .. or to justify their fears lifiting weights .. as a behavior is too masculinity defining. Her ego exploits her physical body and the body at times will take back such time to demand fueling. It is then rightful the ego feels shame but not for eating .. rather for the fasting that causes binging in excess of regular fueling of activity. This singular matter has a strong motivation to be fatally thin and is their excuse to avoid most legitimate forms of balanced physical conditioning. The thinness is of no consequence. Those who intend to crash diet their way to a perfect body will eventually succumb to the cheapness of their diets. There is no diet that achieve what physical benefits come from physical conditioning. Research addressing diet as more important than exercise in weight control addresses a foolish society terrible at both. MB.

#SIBDieters #BodyDissatisfaction #FkAna #ExercisePhysiology #GenderStudies

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mittensmorgul · 5 years ago

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eeeee I’m very happy that a dead Cas is now officially chuck's ideal ending. (Kind of? I mean,,,, he told Sam that what he showed him is what would happen if TFW won, but it was still the ending *Chuck* has been wanting.) either way! It’s now textually part of the What We Absolutely Can’t Let Happen package!

Lol, I mean, a dead Sam and Dean are officially part of Chuck’s ideal ending, so it’s kinda like... if Chuck is targeting you like that, if he specifically and horrifically wants you off the table that bad because he knows that with you alive then his plans fall apart... yeah...

Which, honestly... explains an awful lot why Chuck’s spent so much effort keeping Cas busy with other stuff in the past. I’m entirely rethinking s6 and s7 here, because this explains so much. It’s not that Cas was being controlled by anyone, but after 5.22, Cas... poked at things. He let (half of, anyway) Sam out of the cage, he stood up to Raphael who was scheduled to finish the apocalypse, and then he teamed up with Crowley to hoover all the souls out of Purgatory.

I mean Chuck was probably giddy with anticipation over the leviathan getting freed, you know? He didn’t even have to interfere to bring on his monster apocalypse. Just sit back and watch the chaos. He didn’t even mind Death nudging Dean in the right direction a few times, because Dean was so busy with his own immediate problems he couldn’t figure out Death’s hints in time to stop Cas anyway... And then Cas inadvertently and conveniently cleared himself off the table once the monsters were free. And yet... something about this wasn’t entirely satisfying, and Cas was brought back without his memories and stashed away to what... to give Dean a bit of hope that Chuck could just dash again? Because then Cas stashed himself away AGAIN after fixing Sam and taking on the trauma that was killing him, and then stashed himself in Purgatory for a while before coming back as an unwitting pawn of Heaven.

I think Chuck enjoys watching Cas go through this over and over again.

“Punishment resurrection.”

But s15 TFW isn’t the same fractured and scattered TFW from s6. They know Chuck’s God. And they know he’s the antagonist who keeps pushing them through more and more horrific versions of his own ugly story.

Billie is not OG Death, and she’s willing to bide her time and plan.

Sam is not soulless. He’s been through all of this before, and he’s endured, and he’s gonna endure again. He may have had his hope shaken a bit, but I don’t think that’s something Chuck can actually take from him entirely. As long as he’s alive, there’s a chance.

Dean is not the grieving, out of the loop shell of himself he was in s6. He knows what’s going on now, even if everything seems kinda bleak... He’s already established that in addition to Sam (who’s not in hell or soulless now), he also needs Cas in his life, even if it’s just the two of them sitting at the table commiserating.

And Cas... finally understands that Dean wants him to stay, needs him to stay, and that every time Dean has told him this before (even if it was worded differently, because Dean struggles to express himself directly) Cas had left anyway-- for Dean’s own safety, to shield Dean from having to do something terrible, to sacrifice himself so Dean wouldn’t have to-- Dean didn’t care because all he could see was I asked him to stay and he left anyway. I am not enough. I am not worth staying for. And now in Purgatory, they finally began to have that conversation. Cas got a win for Dean, a year worth of s8 prayers that Cas had heard have been condensed into a single prayer that finally brought them together instead of convincing Cas he needed to keep running away to protect Dean. Instead of shoving Dean through the portal and staying behind, Cas waited at the portal for Dean and they walked back through together. Almost like ALL of the things that have been haunting Cas and driving him to penance since s6 have at least begun to be addressed and resolved in s15.

What were we talking about at the top of this? I think I’ve gone off on a tangent again...

RIGHT! Chuck’s gotta nerf Cas for his plot to work out.

It’s wild, right? Because Chuck’s whole “This Is Your Future Life” episode he crafted to convince Sam that locking him away with a Mark is a terrible idea that can only end one way... Do you know how frustrating it must’ve been for Chuck to have to stop them from caging him? Because it was a double-edged sword. I mean, on the one hand, I’m sure he LOVED the idea of Cas slowly going mad with the Mark until Dean was compelled to lock him in a ma’lak box and bury him right along with his hope and happiness, but if they had succeeded in casting that spell, then CHUCK WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO WATCH HIS FAVORITE SHOW. Like Amara in that same cage, his fun would’ve been over.

Can’t watch all the suffering if you’re locked in a cosmic dungeon!

It’s incredibly funny to me that Chuck convinced Sam that his nonsensical “future” was a true seeing, that he “shared his omniscience” with Sam with that watch. Because the one thing the show has demonstrated over the years that Chuck sincerely hopes they’ve forgotten, is that you can’t change the past, but the future is never set in stone until it comes to pass. And the future is built on choices.

Chuck can account for a lot of things, but he can’t account for Free Will. He can nudge, he can remove options, he can create roadblocks leaving only terrible choices open to them that will have awful consequences or require painful sacrifices, but... TFW has never completely done what they’re told, you know? Cas is the original “spanner in the works,” and Edlund once commented that yes, he has a “crack in his chassis,” but it’s a crack through which great things come. But Sam and Dean also have this frustrating and fascinating gift to stymie Chuck’s plot.

And this is the true power of TFW. I think this is the tool they need to fully understand for themselves in order to finally win. They’ve been edging around it for a while, but Chuck always finds some way to foil them when they start getting close to examining their own wants. Like every time Dean starts talking about being able to take a vacation, or feeling hopeful that the future looks a little less bloodsoaked for them, Chuck steps in and throws them a monster of a curveball. Last time Dean started up with the toes-in-the-sand talk, he’d been possessed by AU Michael by the end of the episode, and crushed like a bug, his free will rendered entirely irrelevant. No amount of fighting against Michael, of telling him to get out, was able to free him. And then Chuck showed up again to hammer the lesson home. Only they learned a different lesson from the one he was trying to teach.

Heck, that’s another frustrating thing for Chuck, isn’t it? TFW has a long, long history of doing that.

Dabb even tweeted lyrics from “The End” by the Doors before this episode aired. Because this was a 5.04 redux, in a lot of ways. The circumstances of the future that Chuck imagined to horrify Sam may be entirely different, but the premise, the themes, the structure of it all... it’s functionally identical. But that was a distraction of sorts, as well. The other episode this referred back to... was 9.18.

Metatron showed his hand, revealed his process, and it’s identical to Chuck’s, because Metatron was just playing God, in the exact same way Chuck always did. He was a writer.

CASTIEL: And you did all this to make me a hero?METATRON [laughing]: Ah, that's priceless. Um no. You are not the hero in this mess-terpiece. You are the villain. I'm the hero.

and

METATRON: Didn't quite turn out as I'd planned, but that is why we rewrite. That was God's problem, you know... he published the first draft. You got to keep at it till you get all your ducks in a row.GADREEL: Was the Winchesters grabbing me part of your plan?METATRON: That was a surprise. But, hey, what writer doesn't love a good twist? My job is to set up interesting characters and see where they lead me. The by-product of having well-drawn characters is...They may surprise you. But I know something they don't know...the ending. How I get there doesn't matter as long as everybody plays their part.

Chuck also thinks he knows the ending. He’s absolutely convinced-- a la Lucifer’s conviction in 5.04 that “no matter what choices you make, we’ll always end up here,” and Metatron’s conviction that the ending was always destined to happen, couldn’t account for the true nature of humanity. Lucifer never saw it, because he never bothered to look for it. Metatron only saw it after he’d been rendered human himself. And Chuck? He thinks he understands, that his “omniscience” gives him a complete understanding of his creation, and yet... there’s things that humanity has created that he could never have dreamed up for himself.

He was right back in 11.22 (oh, hello Bobo episode again) when he told Amara that creation needed to be born, that it became something better than them. And yet Chuck can’t stop inflicting his own tired, formulaic story on his favorite characters. Because Amara was also right about him, that he was also greedy, and selfish, and only wanted to feel “big.” Chuck admitted that to Becky in 15.04, until he got over his writer’s block and started writing with a vengeance.

Wait, what was this about again? *scrolls up*

OH! Right! Nerfing Cas so the writer can have his way with everyone else. Kind of a long-standing tactic, no? And it’s not even about limiting Cas’s angel powers, but about Cas himself, and what he means to TFW. And it’s taken Cas a VERY long time to even begin to understand this. It’s not what he can do for them, it’s not being “useful” or “powerful” or being able to wave a hand and whoosh away the bad guy. It’s about him being HIM. It’s about him standing up to Dean and telling him he’s being stupid, and Dean listening and following him when if they’d gone their separate ways they both probably would’ve failed in Purgatory. It’s about them having each other’s backs and anticipating each other’s needs, and knowing that they aren’t alone and are wanted and needed because they are the best friend the other has ever had. And there’s something to that very human connection, that very human concept of family and love that Chuck... is incapable of understanding.

Whenever love rears its ugly head, Chuck rushes in to crush it. Because in love lies hope, lies a power that he can’t beat down. It’s a plot twist he can’t write his way out of.

Amara tried to give the very beginning of that to Dean in 11.23, to give him a chance to understand Mary, and Chuck couldn’t abide it. Jack is too powerful in a mojo-way, sure, but his true power for all of TFW was love. And Rowena-- pushed into self-sacrifice after Chuck “pinataed Hell”-- her entire journey into TFW had been about love.

Remember the plot of Metatron’s narrative? Love, and heartbreak, and love? Yeah. Remember how he thought he defeated Cas? By killing Dean Winchester? Yeah.

Big picture themes time? Chuck tried to drive wedges between TFW and everything they love. And has been trying to force his own contrived romance plots on them. But Chuck doesn’t understand love at all.

That’s their one true weapon against Chuck, if they each can learn to wield it.

How did my intended lol response to your question turn into this? That’s the cosmic lol for you.

#spn 15.09 #spn 15.04 #spn 5.04 #spn 9.18 #spn 11.22 #spn 11.23 #chuck's process #grand unification via love theory #Anonymous

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vagrantblvrd · 5 years ago

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Bones (1/1)

Summary: There’s not a lot to do between missions. Hell, there’s not a lot to do on missions sometimes with the whole hurry up and wait bullshit that happens.

So you know, you find ways to entertain yourself. Pick a random topic and go off on it just to keep from being bored out of your mind while you wait for something to happen.

Notes: Prompt fill for Anon who asked for agency Jeremavinwood with Battle Buddies vs Play Pals???

(Read on AO3)

There’s not a lot to do between missions. Hell, there’s not a lot to do on missions sometimes with the whole hurry up and wait bullshit that happens.

So you know, you find ways to entertain yourself. Pick a random topic and go off on it just to keep from being bored out of your mind while you wait for something to happen.

“So wait,” Jeremy says, bundle of wires tucked into the corner of his mouth. “You’re telling me you two idiots decided to call yourselves the Play Pals because you couldn’t figure out what the designation Command gave you meant?”

Well when you put it like that, it does sound stupid. (Also, team designations are randomly generated by some fancy computer algorithm or something, Michael tuned out when Ryan tried to explain it to him once, because who the hell cares?)

To be fair to Gavin and Michael, however, most of the teams in the agency get two or three letter designations. They’re the only ones he’s heard of to get a four letter designation.

Jeremy must have finally realized that too because he just had to go and ask about it, didn’t he. Got Michael going on the subject while he tinkers and fiddles and swears under his breath as he works.

“Gavin’s idea,” Michael says, because the little idiot’s not there to refute the claim. “Who the hell else would come up with something so dumb?”

Not his fault he’s got Gavin as a partner and not some melodramatic idiot like Ryan with a penchant for the really destructive kind of chaos. The kind of team designation that lends itself to them being called Battle Buddies and having it stick until no one can remember a time when they weren’t called that. (Funny as all hell when Command slips up and puts it in the official reports that go to the bigwigs in DC, though.)

Jeremy laughs and almost inhales the wires he’s fucking around with. Gives Michael this look when Michael reaches over to hit him on the back to keep him from choking and all that.

“Thanks, pal,” he says, in that way he does sometimes.

Sarcastic as fuck and this touch of amusement to it and then the alarms go off, which means their dumbass partners have finally arrived to rescue them from their terrible fate as prisoners. (Shit happens.)

Michael glances around at the unconscious bodies of the guards who were meant to be watching them.

Some might lean a little more towards dead, but since they’re the ones who started it Michael doesn’t feel too bad about things.

There’s at least three levels of secret bad guy base above them, and Michael can still hear the explosions clear as day.

Michael and Gavin make a hell of a team, and so do Jeremy and Ryan. Do a little mix’n’match like this mission has forced them into and the results are maybe not the desired sort. (To hear Command talk anyway.)

“You got the door, or are we going to wait for those morons to save the day?”

Their escape may have met with a few complications, or maybe just another round of bad luck. They made it out of the zip ties and locked room these assholes had them hidden away in, sure, but then they had the fortune (misfortune?) of getting locked in this shitty little room. (Because fuck them, that’s why.)

Michael gets another look because Jeremy’s been trying to hot-wire the door’s locks or whatever the hell he’s been doing for the last half hour with no success. (Michael may or may not have been heckling/nitpicking him the whole time, but that ties in with the finding ways to entertain himself.)

Another explosion goes off above them, big enough Michael can feel it, and Jeremy looks down at the mechanism he’s been fiddling with. Takes the wires out of his mouth and gives Michael this wry little smile.

“Well,” he says, and dusts his hands off before reaching for the hand Michael's holding out to him to help him up. “Since they’re here anyway and all.”

Right, right.

Hate to pop their balloon or whatever bullshit excuse Jeremy has.

Another explosion rocks the compound and Michael

========

Michael loves to give Gavin shit for pretty much everything he does? But the truth is that Gavin is good at what he does. (And he does a lot.)

Still, there’s no denying he’s also a colossal moron.

“Gavin,” Michael says, because how the fuck, and also why the fuck. “What did you do?”

Ryan is running around HQ with a gooddamned crossbow and nowhere is safe.

Gavin is a goddamned horrible little goblin who loves enabling Ryan and his lunacy and Michael and Jeremy were gone for maybe – maybe – twenty minutes tops for a coffee run.

And now look at the place.

Crossbow bolts embedded in the walls and people hunkered down waiting for someone to either talk Ryan down from playing with his new toy or just tranq his ass. (Oh, Ryan’s too good to be careless with the damn crossbow, but that doesn’t make him any less of a menace with it.)

Gavin’s rolling around on the floor wheezing and squeaking and no damn help at all because he thinks it’s hilarious.

Meanwhile Jeremy’s tracking Ryan down and checking in every few minutes sounding like he’s trying not to choke on his own laughter. (With Geoff in DC for budget meetings Michael’s the only sane man left.)

“You’re explaining this to Geoff when he gets back,” Michael mutters, and heads out to grab a tranquilizer gun to put an end to Ryan’s little rampage before it really gets out of hand.

========

The kind of missions Michael and Gavin get sent on mostly deal with stealth. In and out before their target knows what’s happening because Gavin is fucking spectacular when it comes to stealth and Michael’s not too bad himself. (He’s always been a quick study, and keeping up with Gavin is not something just anyone can do.)

Jeremy and Ryan get the missions where subtlety isn’t a key factor. Get sent in with a case of explosives and other shinies and walk out when everything’s on fire. (That wasn’t always the case, but Geoff and Jack just kind of gave up after a while, and hey, it works.)

Every once in a while they get sent on missions together, and that's just -

“Oh, dear,” Gavin says, leaning back from his laptop. “That’s not ideal.”

Michael leans over his shoulder and tries to make sense of the million and one windows Gavin has open.

Security cam feeds he’s plugged into thanks to the Battle Buddies and satellite feeds. Other bullshit Michael recognizes but doesn’t give a damn about because things just went to shit.

Again.

“Christ,” he mutters, wondering if the agency throwing them together on missions is just an experiment to see how quickly things will turn to shit when combining their bad luck or if they’re just cursed like that. “They didn’t even make it inside this time.”

Gavin smothers a laugh, turns it into a cough as he toggles between camera feeds to keep track of Jeremy and Ryan being marched through the compound to wherever the guards are taking them.

“Should have taken Jack up on that wager of his, Michael,” he says, because he’s an asshole and Michael forgot, okay, he forgot.

Too busy checking over their gear to pop over to Jack’s office to join in on the betting pool and then Ryan threw a fit because he didn’t get the flamethrower he wanted. There was a lot going on, okay. Fucking sue him.

“Fuck off,” Michael says, and glances at the weapons crate stuffed full of the goodies the Battle Buddies love to lug around with them. “And dibs on Ryan’s mini-gun.”

========

So the thing is, the four of them get along a little too well for Command’s peace of mind.

Don’t give a shit about so-called friendly rivalries or trying to one-up each other in the hopes of currying favor with Geoff or Command.

No point to it when none of them give a shit about those things. (Geoff’s not the kind of guy who’d appreciate any of it no matter what he says, and Command’s long been wise to them.)

Gavin and Ryan are the worst because they’re stupid smart and have that little workshop down in one of storage subbasement no one’s supposed to know about. Make use out of the downtime they get between missions to “improve on” whatever gadgets tech comes up with for them and other fun experiments of theirs.

Jeremy joins in every so often when he gets a hankerin’, as Ryan likes to call it. Stars in his eyes and visions of explosions in his head or whatever the hell, and Michael?

“Jesus Christ,” he says, and plucks the grenade out of Gavin’s hand before the idiot blows them all sky high. “No.”

Gavin gives him a look, all sad-eyed puppy in the rain because Michael is a terrible bully. Behind him Ryan is just kind of pathetic, because somehow he set himself on fire – again – and thankfully Jeremy was there with a fire extinguisher, because what the hell.

“Michael,” Gavin starts, earnest as hell like the three of them aren’t the most ridiculous idiots Michael’s ever met. “You’ll love it, Michael. Ryan had the best idea!”

And, see.

Michael knows it’s going to be the worst damn idea in the world if Ryan came up with it. Dumbass always thinks he knows what’s what only to have things (sometimes literally) blow up in his face.

This time it’s something about putting the explosive power of a grenade in a pen – a pen - like something out of a dumb spy movie to use on missions.

“Just think of it, Michael!” Gavin says, clearly infected with Ryan’s dumb. “It would be amazing!”

It would be a disaster is what it would be, but then again that sounds prefect for them.

========

There are fraternization rules and regulations in the handbook they were given when they signed on. Outdated bullshit no one bothers to enforce because it would mean cracking down hard on half the agency at this point.

The only time anyone brings it up to Geoff is when it’s a suit down from DC to see how the funding they receive is being spent. Little meet and greets with the operatives and other assorted assholes working here and find them lacking in some way. (None of them are ever what people expect them to be. Too human to begin with, all these hopes and dreams and lives outside the agency. Emotions, feelings, all that shit.)

“Just don’t – don’t let it fuck things up,” Geoff told them when he found out. Tired and worn down and trying to act like he didn’t know because the suits wouldn’t get it, understand. “Be careful.”

It’s a lot to ask of assholes like them, but they do their best to make it work. Have their moments where things get real shitty real fast thanks to the stress of their jobs and the way life has of being a shitshow.

Rough patches and all that, but they’re all a little too invested in the life they’ve built for themselves to give up so easily and he knows it baffles the hell of the people who know. Look at them and try to figure out how the hell assholes like them make sense, when they don’t even know themselves.

(Only bit of good luck to stick for the four of them, and goddamn if they’re not going to hang on to it with everything they have.)

#jeremavinwood #ragehappy #Anon #prompt fills #Kings of Nowhere #vagrant fic #(this is suuuuper late #and probably not what you meant?#so double apologies and suchlike #/o\)

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smoody28-blog · 5 years ago

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Michael Johnson COMM-380 Dr. Kunde 2/26/2020 *Rhetoric as a Ideology* In this entry I will be examining the critical questions of: How has Donald Trump's nationalist roots and American Exceptionalism partnered with his famous campaign slogan “Make America Great Again'' helpful or harmful to today's society? In order to answer the questions stated above thoroughly and clearly, I took a look at President Donald Trump’s closing remarks at the Donald J. Trump Make America Great Again Rally PA Farm Show Complex & Expo Center in Harrisburg Pa. on Saturday, April 29, 2017. In his closing remarks President Trump gives what he believes are the keys to “... Make America Great Again” (President Trump Video). President Trump's idea of improving and uniting a nation is not a bad thought, but his idea of patriotism in Making America Great Again is not for everyone. The underlying ideology of America is not great partnered with underlying values of wanting to revert back to American heritage, President Trump force feeds the American people to choose ‘progress’ over everything. In doing so, this message is one that could potentially create an us v. them society. As a result of President Trump creating this societal divide, this coerces Americans Into choosing between either national progression or individualism, Making those individuals who support President Trump seen as people who want to make “America Great Again” (President Trump Video) and accept the notion of ‘progress’ so that the American nation should revert back to how it was governed in the past. On the contrary, those individuals who do not support President Trump are portrayed as not having any interest in “Making America Great Again” (President Trump Video) And not wanting the idea of national ‘progress’. The singular goal is to unite the nation under the same ideologies but when that message excludes individuals then the message becomes skewed and the overall goal of a united nation is lost. In the artifact I chose President Trump is giving a speech to United States Citizens at a “Donald J. Trump Make America Great Again Rally” in Harrisburg Pa. At this point Trump had already been elected President of the United States of America in 2016 and had been in the Executive office as President of the United States for about a year and a half. In this speech he talks about the situation he’s inherited since being elected President and how he is handling the vast problems in which were left in his hands. He then goes on to address the media on how media outlets are consistently targeting him and how the things they have been reporting are not factual information. President Trump goes on to give his final remarks in which this analysis tends to focus on, reiterating the certain things America needs to work on and how together President Trump and the American people can “Make America Great Again.” (President Trump Video) Donald Trump’s rise to political stardom struck many as outlandish, but further rhetorical analysis of his speeches show that his use of constitutive rhetoric played a major role in developing national identity and within the nation what the ideal citizen should want (Ideology). This use of constitutive rhetoric to build an ideology in a nation is not the first time rhetorical analysts have encountered it. Dating back to 463 BCE the rise of famous Athenian orator Pericles was known for his promotion of ideals of peace and democracy within Athens (). In one of Pericles’s famous speeches The Funeral Oration He calls upon the Athenian people to recognize what Athens stands for and how the nation has separated itself from the rest of the world. Pericles states “Let me say that the system of government does not copy the institutions of our neighbours. It is more the case of our being a model to others than of our imitating anyone else…” (Pericles Article). He also goes on to say “... What I prefer is that you fix your eyes everyday on the greatness of Athens as she really is, and should fall in love with her.” (Pericles Article) Here Pericles is showing the Athenian people that they are leaders not followers in the world and that they should be prideful in their nation building this ideology of patriotism and nationalism. By Pericles doing this he was able to convince the Athenian people that Athens was such a superior country that they should want to fight and die to protect its virtues from anyone who tried to threaten the cities existence and what it stood for. The use of constitutive rhetoric can be proven beneficial when trying to unite and incite different ideologies but it can also be harmful. With some ideologies there are underlying ideologies being left out of play, this is where the ideological critic comes in and tries to highlight those ideologies that are unmentioned. In the Foss reading she describes the Ideological critics as “... individuals who look at the visible dominant ideology or ideologies embedded in an artifact and the ideologies being muted in it” (Foss Article). In other words their job is to find what is not being said or what is completely ignored. Sometimes things are often ignored or unaddressed in certain rhetorical behaviors in order to promote the specific ideology the rhetor is trying to get across. This has negative effects on the individuals in which it leaves out because they often times become ‘shoved in the corner’ figuratively and are coerced into adopting the ideology. In the Foss reading she says “... Some Ideologies, however are privileged over others in a culture, and the ideologies that present oppositional or alternative perspectives are sometimes repressed. The result is a dominant way of seeing the world or the development of a hegemonic ideology. Hegemony is the privileging of the ideology of one group over another groups. It thus continues a social control, a means of symbolic coercion, or a form of domination of the more powerful groups over the ideologies of the less powerful groups.” (Foss Article). In other words, Those rhetors that promote an ideology can repress other smaller groups' ideologies coercing them to choose their ideology. “Make America Great Again” serves as a perfect summary of Trump’s rhetorical use in promoting patriotism and nationalism. reveals much about the assumptions inherent in many who have been wooed by the Republican President. . Grammatically, as an imperative with an understood you, the slogan implies that the hearer, (the American) should be and will be the one making America a great nation once again. While this is grammatically the case, what is assumed by many and made explicit in longer pieces of Trumpian rhetoric is that together Trump himself and the people will be the one making America great again: “Together, we will make America strong again. We will make America wealthy again. We will make America prosper again. We will make America proud again. We will make America safe again. And we will make America great again!” (Trump) In order to make something great again, there has to have been a time when it was great, a time that it became not great, and a way to restore this item to its previous state of greatness. So, to “Make America Great Again” assumes that, at some point, America has moved from a state of greatness to a state of non-greatness—that America has endured a significant regress. Not only does the slogan assume a national regress, it assumes that there is someone or something that can reverse the denigration and restore America to its condition of excellence. From the ideological critic standpoint President Trump fails to address why reverting back is so great. Reverting back to slavery? Reverting back to no sanitation systems? No federal government regime? What is so great? Ethically there is a lot of things President trump is leaving out. President Trump also envokes a sense of unity and patriotism by putting all of America in the same category saying “It's time for us all to remember that we are one people, with one great American destiny, and that whether we are black or brown or white, we all bleed the same red blood of patriots. (Applause.) And we all share the same glorious freedoms of our magnificent country. We are all made by the same Almighty God. (Applause.)” (Trump) By him saying this he is trying to tug at the emotional strings and connect all of the American citizens under one (Christian) god as well as making a connection to the patriots who founded the nation. Ideological critique from here would be that he assumes the religion of a melting pot of an entire nation as well as some ancestors were not patriots. By President Trump naming all the skin colors but excluding the various religions and heritages we can see the ideology being coerced upon the American people. Like I mentioned before the idea of uniting a nation is not a bad idea. After the party polarization in the legislation it would be a utopian idea to get on one mind and one accord but in order to do that you must include ALL people. “Make America Great Again” is a well put slogan and catchy as well but it’s not for everyone. With the underlying ideology of reverting to previous American regimes where things needed tweaking and fine tuning its safe to say that America didn't get things right on the first time. So the correct way to make America Great again is not to revert back but to push forward and include those who weren't included when the nation first started because now America is different. America is not the best anymore. American Exceptionalism eliminates Americans from seeing the progress other countries have made and preventing us from learning from other nations on how they messed up and what to do to prevent the same thing happening in America all because society is afraid of change. Robert Rowland (2019) begins to talk about the use of ideology used in presidential speeches saying “The political elites vision of a nation are visible in their political speeches… speeches are interactional contributions to identity politics, as they serve as to identify and inclusion and exclusion” (Rowland, 2019). This concept Rowland mentions applies to the ideological critic framework in which they find what are the grounds for inclusion versus what is excluded. In other words how is the speech framed so that one thing is accepted but another is not. This applies to President Trump's speech because his use of rhetoric sets the standard for what he believes makes the country great and what the ideal citizen should believe in in order to do their part in making the country great. In summary, I believe the purpose of uniting the American nation is good but the underlying values need some work. Inclusion for all would be the utopian goal but being realistic I understand that everyone cannot be satisfied. So as a reminder I ask you take a look into what is being said and how it is being said because something as simple as “Make America Great Again” may seem nice on the outside but further analysis shows that what's really being said could lead the country in turmoil. Work Cited Kunde, M. (2020). Rhetoric and National Leadership and Constitutive rhetoric . Personal Collection of M. Kunde, Augustana College, Rock Island, IL. ROWLAND, R. C. (2019). The Populist and Nationalist Roots of Trump’s Rhetoric. Rhetoric & Public Affairs, 22(3), 343–388. https://doi.org/10.14321/rhetpublaffa.22.3.0343 Foss reading Chapter 8 Pericles Article Youtube, Youtube, 2017, www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgNw-O-2okk&feature=emb_title.

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thesinglesjukebox · 5 years ago

Video

youtube

FULL TAC FT. LIL MARIKO - WHERE'S MY JUUL??

[6.11]

Do we choose rule, or do we choose suck?

Alex Clifton: Juuls. Juuls. Juuls. Oh my god, Juuls. [7]

Katie Gill: It's a little bit telling how all the comments on the YouTube video are comparing this song to other meme songs and not talking about the merits of the song itself. Still, there will always be a place in the world for meme songs that are serviceable memes but less than serviceable songs that teenagers can obnoxiously quote on the bus. "Where's My Juul" fits that niche perfectly. I expect a fleet of TikToks featuring people lip-syncing to this and will be very disappointed when this inevitably doesn't happen because I am out of touch with the youth. [6]

Kalani Leblanc: I can see there's already an abundance of blurbs submitted for this song, and the number will have risen by the time I finish this. After thinking so hard about how to go about being the fifteenth person to say "It sounds like "Shoes"," I'm realizing it's not really "Shoes" anyway. While they're both jokes that bear a resemblance in the thrash of a breakdown, "Where's My Juul??" is also listenable. The comparison is getting tired because it's like did anyone listen to "Shoes"? As a song? In earnest??? While this is not an entirely impressive piece, no concerto or FKA Twigs production, it's enough. Since 2006, we've been making everything into jokes, so it makes perfect sense. Nicotine-induced freakouts would've been the subject of an after school special ten years ago, but now they're joke material for hypebeasts and others on Twitter. Lil Mariko makes an impressive case while trying to find her Juul; I can't find anything this song did wrong, sorry. [8]

Will Adams: The mid-song 0-to-11 ramp is what takes this past the mean-spiritedness of "#Selfie" and the meme-spiritedness of "Phone" into effortless "Shoes"/"Let Me Borrow That Top" absurdity. The Juul is a placeholder; sub in any other monosyllabic cultural artifact, and Lil Mariko's rage against Full Tac's electroclash-y beat would cut through just as effectively. "Sorry, guys!" she says at the end, except there's nothing to apologize for. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: I wrote 20 pages about Juul culture in 2018 so I should in theory be the exact target audience for this. Yet "Where's My Juul??" doesn't really click for me. It's charming and funny in parts (Lil Mariko's spoken verses, which transmit nervy anxiety and barely restrained fury effectively) but the hook, which takes up most of the very long minute-forty-five, is comedy via brute force principles: repeat a phrase enough and it will transfigure into a joke. [5]

Brad Shoup: About as funny as the related TikTok meme, though not as menacing, surprisingly. I wish so badly that Full Tac had gone full hardcore -- or even brostep! -- but am glad that Lil Mariko's Danny Brownian ad-libs and sudden reversals grind "#SELFIE" into the dirt. [7]

Oliver Maier: I need not catalogue the myriad ways in which this is transparently designed to blast off on TikTok -- you would probably know better than me -- but that cynicism detracts from "Where's My Juul??" for me. There's none of the spontaneity or sense of genuine fun that animates certain other genre-agnostic, threat-spewing, extremely online weirdo duos, more savvy than it is genuinely silly. It's not badly executed, but I felt like I got the picture before even hitting play. [4]

Will Rivitz: I get this is supposed to be more meme than song, but I so wish it had leaned into the latter for more than half its runtime. The "FUCK!!!" at the beginning of its second chorus is worth at least a [7] on its own, and its redlining nu-metal production is such a tight fusion of XXXTENTACION's sonic fingerprint and simplified TikTok trap that I'm surprised the "oh my God" ad-libs aren't followed by a "Ronny." As it stands, "Where's My Juul??" and its just-a-little-too-long interludes that grate after listen number four or so functions as a sort of "Thrift Shop" for the current day, a track defined by its novelty that we as an Internet music-Twitter hivemind all agree was genuinely good about five years after it's exited the public consciousness. It deserves more. [8]

Ian Mathers: Both less musically compelling and with less of a point than "Can I Get a Box?". [5]

Katherine St Asaph: It's kind of amazing how it took seven years for Rebecca Martinson to release her debut. [1]

Nortey Dowuona: Lil Mariko is actually kinda weird in the lol so random funny way that people think that [insert overrated white comic who had a Comedy Central show] is and has a really great metal screaming voice. I don't know who made this dull approximation of Kenny Beats and Pi'erre Bourne, nor do I care. Lil Mariko will hopefully get a recurring cameo role on Nora From Queens and get her own show from that. [5]

Mo Kim: The best joke here is the escalation of nonchalance (hey, where's my Juul?) into something desperate, and therefore dangerous: it hits like the drop in a rollercoaster when Lil Mariko finally breaks out the deep-throated metal screams, but the moment wouldn't have half the thrill without the masterful way she gradually ups the heat on the song's first chorus before that. Both of her spoken monologues, where she merges Valley Girl affect with murderous menace, only sweeten the deal. [8]

Ryo Miyauchi: "Where's My Juul??" gets spiked with an infectious dose of adrenaline when it suddenly turns a lot more aggro than you'd expect from a meme-y cross-section of Rico Nasty's mosh-pop and PC Music's ironic bubblegum. The demented beat stings with a pungent metallic sourness, and while her Valley Girl accent scans as an obvious put-on, Lil Mariko's blood-curdling scream is legitimately hair-raising. The song rapidly combusts, ensuring the joke doesn't overstay its welcome. [7]

Joshua Lu: Yes, hearing the unassuming Lil Mariko scream and snarl over a missing Juul is intrinsically funny, especially accompanied by a music video that knows exactly how to push the limits of its concept. But the real strength of "Where's My Juul??" lies in its sheer relatability. The title could be anything -- where's my wallet, my phone, my eraser -- because anyone who has ever misplaced anything can relate to the escalating panic and rage in not only the cataclysmic vocals, but also Full Tac's discordant production. Also crucial to the song is its sense of plot, as it steadily progresses from confusion to blame to outright violence. The ending, though predictable (Lizzo used the exact same twist not that long ago), is a necessary denouement, as it provides the moment where everyone involved can look back on the last minute and a half of chaos and laugh. [8]

Iain Mew: As a song structure trick, I love the fake-out final verse, those ones that seem like something slowly developing before the artist brutally cuts it off for the chorus or instrumental to come back stronger than ever; the "Don't Speak" and "Your Best American Girl" kind of thing. The key moment of "Where's My Juul??" comes in taking that same trick to a ludicrous, brilliant extreme. It has a drawn-out, jittery verse, a cartoon scowl of a chorus, and then one question into verse two it veers straight into swearing, screaming and fucking everything up. That's perfect enough that it would ideally be even shorter than it ends up. [7]

Kylo Nocom: Full Tac and Lil Mariko do in less than two minutes what took Justice five. The gimmick is the least fun part, and judging by my sample size of BigKlit's "Liar" and Full Tac's very own "CHOP" the producers behind this might not even be as funny as this video would imply. But I've long settled with music that's good on the merits of just being fun; when the production here is layered with discordant guitar sampling, analog drum kits, and distant screams of "piss!" and "fuck," I'm willing to buy into the ugliness. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Full Tac returns with another take on "Liar," succeeding because the goofy conceit here finds an appropriately goofy (that is, unexpected) vocal performance. Part of the appeal is how "Where's My Juul??" could sit comfortably alongside songs from Rico Nasty and Rina Sawayama, but has the appeal of shoddy viral videos from yesteryear. It's that "Kombucha Girl"-type reaction it's striving to elicit, and it accomplishes that as soon as the screaming starts. The best detail, though, is the most subtle: the moment Lil Mariko stops herself from saying "who" and politely asks "have you seen it?" [7]

Michael Hong: Have you ever been dragged to a party only for your only friend to disappear, leaving you to mingle with a group of people you don't know? And one person makes a comment so absurd that you just giggle along with the rest of the group even though you're not really sure if they're layering their statement with even a hint of irony or if there's something much more unsettling lurking underneath? But the jokes are getting more and more uncomfortable and suddenly fewer people are laughing along, instead furtively glancing across each other with an exasperated look as if to say "is this person for real?" And instead of backing away, that person instead starts doubling down, getting more and more aggressive, screaming across the room for what feels like hours and surely people must be ready to head out. Instead, when you finally catch a moment to glance down at your phone, you find that only two minutes have elapsed since you arrived and you realize that not even a quarter of the time has passed before your ride will come and you can leave this godforsaken party. You have absolutely no choice but to continue standing in the group in discomfort, waiting for this moment that feels like an eternity to finally finish, with the only background noise being the stereos blaring what sounds like someone's first attempt at using GarageBand. [0]

Crystal Leww: While I was digging through "likes" on SoundCloud, I noticed that a friend of mine had liked "Baby Let Me Know" by Full Tac, which sounds like the synth heavy dreamy pop that was popular at the beginning of last decade. I did not stick around for "Where's My Juul??" so imagine my surprise today when I turned this on and it's umm, screaming. A consistent genre as an essential part of an up-and-coming artist's brand is less essential than ever, especially in an age where (waves hands) dance music has eaten itself alive in its swirling storm of troll energy. Chaos in and of itself is a brand -- from 100 gecs to Alice Longyu Gao's dueling sister tracks "Rich Bitch Juice"/"Dumb Bitch Juice" to any DJ Bus Replacement Service set, it has fully infiltrated dance music. How this goes from sweetly threatening to full-on psychotic and back to cutely apologetic is chaotic so yes, I think Full Tac could make some noise (both in creating a fanbase and also like literally) with this. [8]

[Read and comment on The Singles Jukebox]

#Full Tac #Lil Mariko #pop #meme #music #music review

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spaceexp · 6 years ago

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Close encounters: planning for extra Hera flyby

ESA - European Space Agency patch. 20 February 2019 ESA’s proposed Hera mission will already visit two asteroids: the Didymos binary pair. The Hera team hopes to boost that number by performing a flyby of another asteroid during the mission’s three-year flight.

Hera

The opportunity arises because Hera will be flying out to match Didymos’ 770-day orbit, which circles from less than 10 million km from Earth to out beyond Mars, at more than double Earth’s distance from the Sun. In the process Hera will pass both multiple near-Earth asteroids and the inner edge of the main Asteroid Belt. Initial studies at ESA’s European Space Operations Centre have turned up dozens of candidate asteroids across different mission scenarios.

Didymos orbit

“Ideally we would like a flyby of another binary asteroid, to enable comparisons with Didymos,” explains ESA’s Hera project scientist, Michael Küppers. “We would choose something of a different taxonomic type from the S-type asteroids like Didymos. We would also prefer a larger object: its greater size would allow us to resolve it meaningfully from further away.” Take as an example one body researchers would like to see: the 2121 Sevastopol binary pair in the inner belt has an 8.6 km diameter main body with a 3.5 km diameter moon.

Asteroids in the Solar System

This system is a member of the poorly understood ‘Flora’ family of main belt stony asteroids, produced by a collision event a relatively recent 100 million years ago – theorised to be associated with the Chicxulub impact that killed the dinosaurs. The next step would be to create a shortlist of targets, which could then be the subject of ground-based observations to determine more about their properties and sharpen knowledge of their orbits before Hera’s launch in late 2023. ESA’s Rosetta comet-chaser performed two asteroid flybys as it passed through the main belt during its decade-long flight to comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko, passing the 5-km diameter diamond-shaped 2867 Šteins and the mammoth 120-km diameter 21 Lutetia.

European Space Operations Centre

“To make flybys happen, we have to know where our trajectory will pass relatively close to asteroids if we do nothing,” notes Michael Khan, heading Mission Analysis at ESA’s Flight Dynamics division. “Then we tweak the trajectory to make a specific difference to that distance, bringing us much closer. “With Rosetta we had a lot of capability, because it was a large spacecraft with extra fuel in in the tanks to get the mission back on track in case something went wrong. Plus we were performing lots of gravity-assist flybys around Earth and Mars, and massaging those flybys slightly gave us a lot of freedom to manoeuvre.

Šteins asteroid

“Hera is not Rosetta, however: this will be a smaller mission with a shorter cruise phase and lower performance limits. We will still try, but the constraints are such that we won’t know for certain which asteroids we could target until after Hera’s launch. It will come down to what day within Hera’s launch window that we take off, and also the precision of that take-off – it is possible that any extra fuel earmarked for asteroid flybys might be needed to fine-tune our trajectory to Didymos. But any flyby would be an excellent opportunity to boost Hera's science return even further.”” To compare the two missions, Rosetta was lorry-sized, while Hera will be the scale of a desk. But any asteroid flyby would benefit its end mission as well as offering plentiful bonus science.

Lutetia asteroid

Michael Küppers was also part of the Rosetta team: “These hours-long asteroid flybys were quite dramatic events, and our opportunity to try out our scientific instruments and obtain scientific results from these unknown objects, preparing for our main goal of 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko.”

Hera mission

Hera’s lead scientist Patrick Michel, CNRS Director of Research of France’s Côte d'Azur Observatory, hopes Hera would indeed achieve a flyby: “Any object would be valuable. Each time we’ve encountered a new asteroid we’ve discovered something unexpected.” Hera, Europe’s contribution to an international planetary defence experiment, is currently under study to be presented for approval by ESA’s Space19+ Council meeting of European space ministers. Related links: International planetary defence experiment: http://www.esa.int/Our_Activities/Space_Engineering_Technology/Hera/Asteroid_Impact_Deflection_Assessment_AIDA_mission Hera mission: http://www.esa.int/Our_Activities/Space_Engineering_Technology/Hera ESOC - European Space Operations Centre: http://www.esa.int/About_Us/ESOC Flight Dynamics: http://www.esa.int/Our_Activities/Operations/gse/Flight_Dynamics ESA's comet chaser Rosetta: http://www.esa.int/Our_Activities/Space_Science/Rosetta DART website: http://dart.jhuapl.edu/ Hera: http://www.esa.int/Our_Activities/Space_Engineering_Technology/Hera Images, Video, Text, Credits: ESA/D.Scuka/Science Office/NASA/Paul Chodas/JPL/OSIRIS Team MPS/UPD/LAM/IAA/RSSD/INTA/UPM/DASP/IDA. Best regards, Orbiter.ch Full article

#space #science

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klove0511 · 5 years ago

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At Any Cost Chapter 2

Sam sipped his whiskey while Bobby watched him warily though he’d been sufficiently convinced Sam was who he said he was. Neither of them had an explanation for why Sam had reacted to the banishing sigil though, and Bobby was trying to insist they call Dean.

“Please, no. I can’t drag him into this. Especially not now. You and I can figure this out, fix me. He never needs to know. I’ll call him after we fix this. Please.”

Bobby grumbled but gave in for the moment. “You try calling Feathers yet? Betcha he can shed some light on this.”

Sam wasn’t sure exactly what to call his reaction to that casual revelation. Shock, mostly, but also relief, joy, maybe even regret. He hadn’t even asked yet how Bobby was alive, but if Cas was too, then he supposed he had his answer. Mutely he shook his head, then closed his eyes to pray. He heard one of Bobby’s phones ringing and the scrape of the chair as he got up to answer it. Sam took a deep breath and refocused himself.

Castiel’s first reaction to hearing a prayer directed at him was annoyance. The humans had been quiet lately—a good thing which had left him plenty of time to focus on the war efforts. Receiving a prayer in the middle of a staff meeting was less than ideal. However, he quickly realized it was Sam calling for him. He couldn’t go immediately, though he wanted to, but he would leave as soon as the meeting was over.

“Do we have any further reports on how Raphael intends to restart the Apocalypse?” he asked.

His lieutenants shook their heads. Fantastic. They knew what Raphael wanted, but they had precious little information on how he intended to make it happen. “That remains our first priority, then. We cannot prevent the Apocalypse if we do not know what events will lead to it. Rachel, where are we in recruitment?”

Rachel cleared her throat. “Largely stalled, sir. The angels that have not chosen a side seem to be waiting to see how the first skirmishes play out.”

Castiel closed his eyes. They would not win without vastly superior numbers, not against an archangel. “Thank you.”

“Sir?” she continued. “When are we going to strike? It is a question I have heard many times among the flights of angels on our side.”

“I do not want this war, and we will not strike first. We will not be responsible for the death of angels if at all possible.”

“You still hope to be able to negotiate?”

Castiel shook his head, annoyed that he needed to answer this question again and wanting to go to Sam. “Raphael will not back down. War is inevitable, but we will not draw first blood. Our goal remains the same: prevent the Apocalypse. Get me information on how to do that. Dismissed.” With that, he flew to Earth.

Dean stared at the phone in his hand. His alcohol induced sleep had carried him through lunch, and his hangover was pounding behind his eyes. He didn’t want to call, but it was Sam’s birthday and he wanted to hear a friendly voice. For once he wanted to talk to someone who’d known his brother.

Before he could rethink it, he dialed and pressed the phone to his ear. It rang long enough that he thought Bobby wasn’t going to answer, but finally he picked up and a gruff voiced said, “Hello?”

“Bobby.”

“Dean? Been a long time. You doing ok?”

Dean’s eyes burned. It was so good to hear his voice. “Yeah. Just thought I’d check in.”

He waited for Bobby to call him out for the obvious lie. Even he could hear how alcohol-rough his voice was, and they both knew what day it was. “Not much going on around here. Just the usual. Things quiet in your neck of the woods?”

He couldn’t decide if he was grateful Bobby hadn’t mentioned hunting explicitly or not, but the guilt of sitting at home while others went out and fought punched him in the gut. “Yeah. Ben’s just finishing up the school year, then Lisa wants to go on some sort of vacation. Not sure how I feel about that.”

“Sounds like you got a good thing there, boy. I’m happy for you.” He paused, and Dean braced himself for what was coming next. “Sam would be too.”

He closed his eyes and felt a tear break free, streaming down his face in a burning line. “I know.” He could hear the sincerity in Bobby’s voice, and he wasn’t sure how to tell him that sometimes he still wanted to commit suicide by monster. It was only his promise to Sam that kept him where he was. If he ever managed to spring Sam from the Cage, he wasn’t sure where they would end up. Probably wherever Sam wanted.

He and Bobby made awkward small talk for a while longer, before the hunter had to go. Dean hung up the phone and reached for the bottle of whiskey.

“Sam.” The deep voice cut the air, and Sam’s eyes flew open. A glowing ball of light with wings stood in front of him, though he would have sworn he’d heard Cas’s voice. After a second his eyes adjusted, and he could see Castiel’s vessel around his grace.

“Cas.” He beamed. “I’m glad you’re ok.”

Cas’s eyes were narrowed, though, studying Sam.

Sam squirmed under the angel’s stare. He stood, busying himself with the books on Bobby’s desk. “There’s, uh, something I wanted to talk to you about. Bobby thought you might be able to help.”

“Your grace,” Castiel said, too fast.

Sam’s head jerked around to face the angel. “What grace?” Cold fear washed over Sam as he thought about where he could have picked up grace. He clenched his jaw. “Him?”

Castiel looked confused for a moment, then understanding seemed to dawn and he replied, “No, Sam, Lucifer has not escaped the Cage, to my knowledge. You are carrying some of his grace, but you seem to also have some of Michael’s as well.”

“What? How?” Sam was trying to make sense of it, trying to wrap his brain around the idea that part of Lucifer was inside him still, and perhaps worse, so was part of Michael.

Cas shook his head minutely. “I don’t know. This sort of phenomenon is without precedent, but it seems unlikely to harm you.” He tilted his head, gaze suddenly distant as though he was listening to something out of Sam’s hearing. “I’m sorry, Sam. I have to go.”

“Wait!” Sam yelled. “What does this mean? Do I have angel powers now or something?”

Cas frowned. “I have no idea. It is certainly a possibility.” He turned away and closed his eyes. “I apologize for being unable to stay. I just received word that Raphael is attacking.” With that, he vanished.

Anxiety sat like a stone in Sam’s stomach. Nothing Cas said had been reassuring. He sighed and headed out into the junkyard. Better try to find out if he had any powers out where he couldn’t hurt anyone.

Sam found an isolated area of the junkyard that he and Dean had used for target practice in the past. There were still plenty of empty beer bottles and detritus that he could mess with. He just wasn’t sure where to start. When he’d been on demon blood, the power thrumming through him had felt so obvious. Reaching for it had been easy. This felt more slippery, like trying to grab onto his own soul somehow.

He reached, directing it to a small pile of garbage. A tin can rolled over, and nothing else happened. Frowning, he tried again, pulling harder at the electricity that had been building under his skin for days. Still nothing. His body tingled and thrummed, but he couldn’t figure out how to use the power. He tried levitation, flying, and flinging more power at random piles of garbage, and came up with a lot of nothing to show for his effort.

Annoyed, he slouched on a tree stump and yelled his frustration. All around him glass shattered. He covered his head instinctively and cursed as he realized he had done that. This was exactly what he’d feared. Unpredictable powers that he couldn’t control.

That night in bed, he reasoned with himself. He didn’t want this power, couldn’t effectively use it. All he really needed to do was find a way to suppress it, or at least gain enough control that he didn’t start breaking things on accident.

He and Bobby dug through books for weeks following Cas’s revelation, but they couldn’t find anything about suppressing grace. For all the lore Bobby had on angels, they found that most of it was either inaccurate compared to their personal experiences or just plain unhelpful. Meanwhile, Sam kept having burps of power that always had an unexpected effect. One day he’d blown out all the windows in the kitchen, miraculously leaving the glasses and plates intact. Another day had seen him tossing a book in frustration and accidentally knocking over three chairs with his mind. The hiccups seemed to happen most when he was angry or frustrated, so he took a lesson from the Incredible Hulk and took up meditation.

More time passed before Sam finally felt like he was getting a handle on things. The research was going as badly as ever, and Cas hadn’t responded to any more of his prayers, but there hadn’t been an accident in two weeks. If he couldn’t lose the grace entirely, then dormancy was the next best option. They had no answers on how Sam got out of Hell, but other than Castiel’s hint that things might not be completely calm in Heaven nothing had popped out of the woodwork with demands of Sam. Summer was bleeding into fall, and Sam thought he was finally ready to see Dean.

Dean blinked awake and wondered for a minute where he was. Even after more than a year of waking up in the same bed, more often than not he woke up disoriented. It struck him as strange, when he bothered to think about it, because he had so rarely forgotten where they were when he’d been on the road with Sam.

Slowly, Dean levered himself upright. It was Saturday, so no work. Lisa’s side of the bed was cool and empty. She must be downstairs making breakfast already. Just another week or two until Ben started school again, so she had informed them both at dinner last night that Saturday was reserved for school shopping. Dean quietly groaned. He barely even had a concept of what school shopping was. This time last year he’d been existing in a drunken haze, and there had never been much shopping done when they were kids. Not for school, anyway. A notebook or two lifted from a grocery store or K-Mart, stolen motel pens and Sam had been good to go. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. Christ. Was thinking about him ever going to get easier?

Downstairs, he grunted his way though his first cup of coffee and made small talk with Ben. “You excited about school?” Dean asked. Dumb question, and he knew it. Kids were never excited about school. Well, kids that weren’t Sam.

Ben shook his head, mouth full of eggs. “It’s ok, I guess, but I wish it could be summer forever. I mean, who’s ever going to need to know about the Revolutionary War anyhow?”

Dean smirked. “I hear you, kid. School was never really my thing either. But, uh, keep at it. Never know when it’ll come in handy. I can’t count the number—”

“Yeah, yeah. Sam was a genius, and history saved your asses.” Ben rolled his eyes.

“Ben, language,” Lisa chastised.

“Sorry. Saved your butts.” Sarcasm dripped from his words.

Dean clenched his jaw. He felt Lisa watching him, trusting him to handle this without losing his cool, but he snapped, “Show some respect. Sam was a damn hero.” He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. Ben wasn’t a bad kid, and he didn’t usually mouth off. Compared to Sam and Dean at his age, Ben was practically perfect. Still, it took all of Dean’s self-control to not lay into the kid. Feeling calmer, he said, “And yeah, he was, and it did. He always managed to pull some weird fact out of his giant head that happened to be relevant to the hunt we were on. Saved us more than once.”

Ben looked ready to continue sniping—Dean wondered what had crawled up his ass that morning—but he stopped short at a glance from his mom.

“Ben, go outside for a while. We’ll go shopping after lunch, and I expect you to stow that attitude by then.” Dean had to hand it to her, her voice was calm, but even he recognized that her tone brooked no argument.

After Ben disappeared out the back door, Dean slowly released the death grip he’d had on his coffee cup. He hadn’t even realized he was white-knuckling the thing.

“You know he doesn’t mean it,” she said, softly.

“I know.”

She smiled, quirking an eyebrow suggestively. “Come on, let’s go enjoy our morning off.” It didn’t take much convincing to get Dean to follow her back to bed.

Shopping went badly. Ben had not lost the snarky attitude, and Dean had rapidly lost patience. After the fifth time Ben made a snide comment about Sam, a screaming match was inevitable. Luckily, they had made it back to the house before they let words fly. After Ben stormed off to his room, Dean looked helplessly at Lisa. “What the hell is going on with him today?”

She shook her head. “Give him a few minutes, then go talk to him. And when you do, try to go easy on him. I think he’s just feeling overshadowed by Sam lately.”

Dean shot her a puzzled look, but she wouldn’t elaborate.

Half an hour later, he knocked on Ben’s door.

“Go away.”

Dean winced. “Can’t do that. Can I come in? Less awkward than talking through the door.”

No answer. Dean was about to settle himself in the hallway when the door opened a crack. He took it for the invitation it was and went in. Sitting beside Ben on the bed, he began. “I’m sorry.”

Ben looked up, startled. “Why are you sorry?”

Dean took a deep breath. “Your mom may have pointed out that I’ve been talking about Sam a lot lately, today in particular.”

Ben shrugged one shoulder. “So? You’re allowed to talk about him.”

Dean nodded slowly. “Ok. But how does it make you feel when I talk about him?” He tried not to stare at Ben while he waited for an answer.

Ben ducked his head and started picking at his nails. “Dunno. Fine, I guess.”

Dean huffed. “Yeah, that’s convincing. Try again.”

Ben squirmed. “Like I’m never gonna be as good as him. Like… you wish he was here instead of me. Like I’m just some crappy replacement.”

“Ouch. Ok, first, you aren’t replacing Sam, so you can’t be a crappy replacement. Second, you are awesome. He was awesome too, and yeah, sometimes you remind me of him so much it hurts. But it’s not a competition. I like you because you’re Ben, not because you’re Sammy 2.0. And third,” Dean took a deep breath, “I do wish he was here. Every single day. Sometimes talking about him makes me feel like he is, a little. And sometimes I talk about him because I’m scared I’ll forget him if I don’t. But, Ben, this part is important, ok? I don’t wish he was here instead of you and your mom.”

Before Ben could answer, Lisa threw open the door, panting from running up the stairs at breakneck speed. “Dean, we have a problem,” she said, eyes wide with fear. She explained, and Dean felt himself slide effortlessly back into hunter mode.

He kept supplies stashed around the house in case of emergencies, a precaution which made him glad now as he gathered a little bit of everything—salt rounds, holy water, silver. Sufficiently armed and his family hiding out upstairs, Dean padded silently to the front door. He glanced through one of the front windows and gulped. Lisa hadn’t been kidding. Standing at the door was a perfect likeness of his brother.

He braced himself, cocked his shotgun, and opened the door, leveling the gun at his brother’s doppelganger.

Sam was regretting his decision to come alone. He was nervous, and at the very least Bobby would have been someone to talk to. He also suspected there was a better than even chance Dean was going to shoot him on sight. Still, he stood on Lisa’s front porch, trying not to think about all the what ifs. What if Dean didn’t want to see him? What if he didn’t believe it was really Sam? Worse, what if he did believe Sam, and then found out about the grace? Sam took a calming breath. No. It was going to be fine. He hadn’t just ruined Dean’s life by ringing the doorbell.

He sensed Dean on the other side of the door a few minutes later, probably armed to the teeth. Maybe—hopefully—he had super healing abilities now, too.

The door opened, and Dean was aiming a shotgun at him. “Whatever the hell you are, you should know better than to come here wearing that face.”

Sam swallowed hard and slowly raised his hands. “Test me. Or call Bobby. He can vouch for me. It’s really me, Dean. I got out. I’m back.”

Dean’s jaw worked, and for a minute Sam was afraid he was going to get shot anyway. Finally, he ran Sam through the tests, ending with a brief phone call to Bobby for good measure. The old hunter cursed them both out for being idiots but confirmed that Sam was back and no, they didn’t know how.

Dean hung up the phone and stared at it for a second, trying to compose himself. He slowly lowered the shotgun to the floor, thumbing on the safety by instinct before dropping the gun completely. “Sammy,” he breathed. Taking a step forward, he pulled Sam into a tight hug. Sam closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of his big brother as he held on with everything he had. A breath, two, then Dean released him.

“How the hell are you here?” Dean asked.

Sam grinned. “No idea.” Sam explained briefly about waking up and finding out Bobby was alive and his futile search for answers, skirting the issue of his additional baggage.

They were moving toward the living room when Dean stopped, throwing an arm in front of Sam. “Wait, how long have you been back?”

Sam grimaced. “Not long. Couple months, maybe.”

Dean shook his head in disbelief. “A couple months? You’ve been back for months and you couldn’t even call?”

“I wanted to come. I did, Dean, right away, but I—I needed time.”

“Time. Right. Because how could I possibly understand what it’s like to mysteriously get out of Hell.” He rolled his eyes and turned away from Sam.

Sam closed his eyes. This was not how their reunion was supposed to go. “I couldn’t bring that here, Dean. I didn’t want to ruin what you’ve built with them.” He prayed this would be enough to convince Dean he hadn’t been avoiding him, not because he wanted to.

Dean chuckled darkly. “Yeah, well, I wanted you to be not dead.”

Sam shrugged and tried another smile. “I’m here now.”

Dean half-turned to look at him. “And you’re, what? Topside a couple weeks and you’re good now?”

It was Sam’s turn to avoid eye contact. He studied the pictures on the mantle—mostly of Lisa and Ben, but a smiling Dean featured in several. Once more he wondered if he was doing the right thing by coming here. “I don’t know that I’d say good, exactly. I’m dealing.”

Dean hesitated. “You want to talk about it?”

“I really don’t,” Sam said, hoping Dean would just let it go for now.

Dean looked at Sam for a long moment, and then, as if it had finally sunk in that Sam was there, and alive, and more or less ok, his face lit up like Christmas. “Holy shit, Sam. I can’t believe you’re really here. Let me show you around.”

Sam ended up spending the night in Lisa’s guest room. After Dean had confirmed for her that it was really him and not a monster, she’d insisted. Couldn’t make the guy who’d saved the world go stay at a motel after all. Then, he just never left. After a week, Dean broached the idea of hunting, but Sam shot it down. He didn’t miss the look of relief on Dean’s face when Sam said he wanted them both to retire. After that Dean helped him find work, pulled a few strings and called in some favors and got Sam working construction with him. Working together again felt good, even if it was a very different kind of work.

Everything was good, really good. The kind of good that the Winchesters had learned not to trust because it always ended bloody.

Back to Masterpost

#spn fic #wincest #wincestiel #angel!sam #fic i wrote #sam!whump #dean!whump #season 6 au

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lovemesomesurveys · 6 years ago

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5,000 questions survey series--part forty-one

3901. What is the most annoying tv ad? Most of them are. I pretty much just tune ‘em out, but they sometimes sneak their way in anyway. 3902. If you died, how would you hope others would remember you? I mean, in a positive way of course. 3903. Name 2 questions that you will most likely never say 'no' to: 1. Do you want coffee? 2. Do you want to go on vacation? 3904. What is the softest part of your body? I mean, most of it is except for my hands. 3905. What family do you want to see in place of the Osbournes when they finally stop doing their show? I can’t get over how old this survey really is wow. This show aired from 2002 to 2005. :O Anyway, the next big family of reality TV was obviously the Kardashians. They’ve been on since like 2008/2009.

3906. If you could pick 3 bands to go on tour together who would they be? Linkin Park, Coldplay, and The Foo Fighters. 3907. What is a main differance between western and eastern philospohy? Uhh. 3908. Would you be fooled by Joe/Josephine Millionaire? I never watched the show, but I know the premise. The women thought they were on a dating competition show dating this millionaire guy, but turns out wasn’t a millionaire at all and was just some average Joe (literally). At the end he makes his choice and then comes clean about the whole thing. Anyway, to answer the question, I would never go on a show like this or ever date a guy for his money, but hypothetically speaking I suppose I probably would be fooled by it because they did all this outlandish things on the show and he seemed to really have money. I wouldn’t have a reason to think it was all a lie (though obviously it was).

3909. Do you believe Michael Jackson does innoprpriate things at his Neverland Ranch? Like what? This was highly talked about and brought to light again earlier this year and based on the documentary, he did in fact do inappropriate things at his Neverland Ranch. A lot of inappropriate things. 3910. What do you think of gov. Ryan who cleared out Illinois' death row? I know nothing about that. 3911. Would you want a $500 gift certificate to: Kmart or Target? Macy's or Hot Topic? Border's Books or Spencer Gifts? (Sadly, Borders no longer exists) Victoria's Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood? 3912. What do you think of this website: www.blackpeopleloveus.com/ I’ve never heard of it and I don’t feel like checking it out. 3913. Man vs Elephant. A zookeeper was treating a constipated elephant. He gave her too much laxitive. Suddenly everything exploded out onto the zookeeper. He was knocked to the ground where he hit his head on a rock and got knocked out. There he suffocated under a pile of elephant dung. True story. Is it a funy story? No, I never find a person’s death funny. If yes, what is funny about it? Why is it so taboo to laugh at death? Because it’s a very sensitive subject and just not something to laugh about, regardless of who it is or what the circumstances are. 3914. What are your favorite five things from this list: alternate realities, animals, astronomy, birds, camus, cats, cheap trick, cocaine, cooking, costumes, dancing, elvis, gambling, greta garbo, james dean, jeff buckley, joy division, marilyn monroe, mixed drinks, moody blues, morrissey, mozart, my bloody valentine, orbital, pizza, playing flute, prince, radiohead, rummy 500, scrabble, table tennis, talk talk, van morrison, writing

^^^ Only 4 things but oh well. 3915. Do you have to read lots to be able to write well? No? I mean, it definitely helps, sure, but you can still be a great writer without having read a lot. 3916. Vanilla ice. Everyone loved him, suddenly everyone hated him. What was the deal?? I forget what the issue was. 3917. If you could kick one person out of the grammies who would it be (Avril, Eminem, etc)? 3918. Studies have revealed that when sending out a resume a person has a 50% higher chance of getting a responce if their name is white sounding than if it is black sounding. What do you think about this? Why do companies respond this way? 3919. Should Big Fat Greek Wedding really be a Big Fat Greek sitcom? I never had the interest in seeing the movie, so I wouldn’t have cared to see a sitcom either. I don’t remember if there was one or not. I feel like there was? 3920. What are you addicted to? Caffeine. And truthfully, after many years on my pain medication my body has become dependent. 3921. What fascinates you? Psychology. 3922. What is fascinating about you? Ha, nothing. I’m so boring. 3923. Personality wise, is anything the same for all human beings and if so, what? I don’t think so. 3924. What kind of a contest woud you have a shot at winning? A simple one where I just submit an entry in, ha. I’m not doing anything requiring more than that. 3925. You see a dirty punk kid who had a giant cowboy hat on who is rolling his own cigarettes. Your impression? I don’t care. 3926. What would you never want to have more than 2 of? Hmm. 3927. Is there a movie you just could not finish watching? What and why? Yeah, but of course I can’t think of an example right now. It’s pretty rare for me not to finish a movie even if I’m not into it, but it has happened. 3928. Is there anyone that you love and want to be around for no explainable reason? I mean, I love to be around my family. It’s explainable, though. I love them and enjoy spending time together. 3929. Would you go to times square for new years? Noooo. That sounds like an absolute nightmare. 3930. Do you think that there are to many signs blocking up the scenery? In some places. 3931. Did video really kill the radio star? Yep. Video later died, too. I mean, yeah artists still make music videos, but it’s not at all as big a hype anymore like I feel it was back in the day during the TRL days and when MTV actually played music videos all the time. 3932. What was your favorite atari game? I’ve actually never played. 3933. what is your favorite neon color? I don’t have a favorite neon color. 3934. Do you get depressed eveytime it rains? If yes, why? No. I love the rain. 3935. 'The more you admit that all your actions are robotic, the less robotic you are.' What does Tim leary mean by this? Maybe because if you admit it then that means you’re conscious and aware. Do you agree or disagree and why? How much of your actions do you admit are robotic? I feel like I live on autopilot. 3936. Are we not men? Uh, not all of us. 3937. Is it easy to be you? Would being someone else make it any easier? No, it definitely not easy for me and I can’t imagine why anyone would ever think it was. It’s not easy for anyone; though, despite what it might look like. Everyone has their struggles. 3938. Why are sex religion and politics such taboo subjects? Because people have very strong opinions about it and they’re just very sensitive topics. 3939. Is there really a differance between republicans and democrats? Yeah? 3940. Imagine someone has a great personality, sense or humor, family and job. they also really really like you a lot. Would you consider dating them if they: were fat? Yes. I care a lot more about a person’s personality and I would not reject someone because of something like weight. limped? Sure? I’m in a wheelchair, so who am I to judge a limp. were a midget? I totally do not mean this in a mean or shallow way at ALL, but I honestly don’t know. That’s only because I think as someone in a wheelchair, I would like to be with someone who would be able to lift /carry me and/or my chair. were paralized in one arm? Yes. Again, I’m paralyzed from the waist down, so. had a glass eye? Yes. That’s not a big deal. had only 6 months to live? I wouldn’t want to enter a relationship, no. I would gladly be there as a friend for support. 3941. What makes you experiance nostalgia? A lot of things. I’m a very nostalgic person. I really miss my childhood and have been feeling more sad about it lately. I think cause I’m turning 30 soon and just feeling old. 3942. What do you remember about these historical figures: Woodrow Wilson? He was a president. Hellen Keller? She was blind and deaf. Was an activist for the disabled. Christopher Columbus? “Sailed the ocean blue in 1492.” 3943. Out of the above three figures, one is a huge racist, one is a socialist and one is a slave trader. Can you guess which is which? Racist: socialist: slave trader: 3944. Betcha they didn't tell you that in american history. Wilson, Keller and Columbus are painted as heros, impossibly good, ideal people. Why are so many things ommitted from and lied about in american history text books? 3945. Do you drink super caffinated energy drinks? Nope. I don’t drink any energy drinks. 3946. eminem or moby? Eminem. 3947. spongebob or the animanicas? Animaniacs was from my childhood, so I’ll have to go with that. 3948. Why do people rush to grow up only to wish they were a child again? I have no idea. I definitely wasn’t one of those people. 3949. Why do people sacrifice their health to obtain moneya d then use the money to restore their health? Uh. 3950. Jetsons or Flintstones? I watched both as a kid. 3951. What are you saving up for? Nothing, specifically. 3952. Would you rather improve your cooking, creativity, body,logic or charisma? Body. 3953. Is it more important to have stregnth or speed? For me, strength. 3954. What is your favorite thing to do each day? Drink coffee. 3955. When you are driving do you ever feel like turning the car towards someplace unfamiliar and not comming back? I don’t drive. 3956. Have you ever gone to lunch at a job and never gone back to the job? I’ve never had a job. 3957. What kind of a dining room set defines you as a person? Uh. I have no idea, that’s never been something I’ve thought about. 3958. Kiss, with or without the make up? I’d say it’s better without lip gloss or lipstick cause it gets messy. 3959. Madonna or Courtney Love? Madonna. 3960. Are you down with james Brown? Nah. 3961. Do you believe in miracles? Yes. 3962. Are you living a lie? I wouldn’t say that. 3963. If you had to give up one would it be caled ID or call waiting? I like knowing who’s calling. 3964. Are you ready to switch to an electric or solar powered car? I don’t drive. 3965. What is the greatest band of the 90's? That’s too hard to choose. 3966. What's the appeal of Alley Mcbeal? I never really watched it apart from seeing bits of it here and there because my mom watched it. I was just a kid and didn’t care. 3967. Fill in the blank. ___ aint the kind of place to raise a kid. 3968. What song goes: starry eye surprise, sundown to sunrise, we're gonna dance all night to this dj' and who is it by? Starry Eyed Surprise by Paul Oakenfold. 3969. What ever happened to the mtv vj Kennedy? No idea. 3970. if you could sing with one band for a day what band and what song would you want it to be? Probably, “In the End” by Linkin Park. 3971. Josie and the PussyCats or Jem? Josie and the Pussycats. Aw, I remember that cartoon that came on Cartoon Network when I was a kid. 3972. Wouldn't oyu like to be a pepper too? Not sure what this is referencing. 3973. Britney spears, school girl or sexy, which do you prefer? Poor Britney. She’s really been going through it. I think there’s a lot that has been going on that we don’t know about. I don’t know if she’s being treated the right way or that people really have her best interest. It’s sad. 3974. Would you get married on tv? No. Not sure why I would. I’m no one famous. 3975. Where do you go looking for the secrets of life? Uhhh. 3976. What is the fuel for your soul? Coffee. 3977. Why do people watch american idol (I think it's for Simon)? I stopped watching after the OG judges left. I checked it once like 3 years ago and...yikes. It just wasn’t good. I’m into The Voice. 3978. What makes life sweet? Desserts. ha. 3979. What does it take to make a great band? People that can sing, play instruments, and write music? 3980. What do you think of when you hear the word 'devo'? “I said, whip it! Whip it good.” 3981. What song or movie represents the 80's for you? The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Of course I instantly thought of the song, “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds. 3982. What song poem or other piece of writing would you want read when you died? I don’t know.

3983. Is a stable job home and family pretty much your goal or do you want more than that and WHAT? Right now I want good health. 3984. What tv show that is no longer on tv do you miss? True Blood. 3985. Remember when Chris from nirvana threw his bass in the air and hit himself in the head with it? Yeah. 3986. What commercial is really annoying you(almonds, want some almonds, you're a big fellow aren't you)??? Currently, there isn’t really one that’s annoying me. Like I had mentioned before, I tend to just tune ‘em out. 3987. Nominate a rockstar for president: 3988. Who amazes you? Hmm. 3989. What's the best musical act to come outta your own country? another country? 3990. Is your life glamorous and exciting? Pffft, no. 3991. Greatest oldschool rap artist: greatest newschool rap artist: 3992. DJ Jazzy jeff or Will Smith, which persona? Both. Summatime will always be a fave. 39993. Ever try yoga? No. 3994. Are you a brick shit house? ..No. 3995. What products do you use? A lot? 3996. How good do you look? Not good at all. I’m a mess. 3997. Tonight you're going to party like_________ someone who is about to go to bed. ha. Okay, okay I know what you’re getting at: like it’s 1999. 3998. Have you ever written a song? No. if yes did you record it? 3999. What would you like to have 999 of? Dollars. 4000. Do you own a metal detector? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #5000 question survey

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jedimaesteryoda · 6 years ago

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#MeToo in A Song of Ice and Fire

A Song of Ice and Fire has become one of the most popular and highly acclaimed fantasy series today. Martin’s magnum opus fits in the pantheon of high-fantasy alongside Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy and Jordan’s Wheel of Time.

It became increasingly popularized after it was adapted into the award winning series on HBO “Game of Thrones.” What helped to make the book series unique when compared to other high-fantasy stories was its deconstructive nature. Viewers of the show note its showing of nudity and gore, which one usually doesn’t see in fantasy on-screen. Many fantasy writers who set their books in a medieval setting, Tolkien included, portray medieval society as idealized and harmonious, but Martin chooses to display some of the harsh realities of a medieval world from the injustices of a society with a rigid class structure to the brutal realities of warfare with atrocities committed by both sides. For all intents and purposes, I am going to be focusing on the book series, and not the show based off it.

The subject I am going to focus on is how the series relates to #MeToo. #MeToo was originally a movement found by social activist and community organizer, Tarana Burke, in 2006 that promoted “empowerment through empathy” among women in underprivileged communities of color who suffered sexual abuse. Tarana was inspired to use the term after a 13 year-old girl confided in her that she had been sexually assaulted, and Tarana had been unable to respond, wishing she had replied simply “Me too.” In 2017, actress Alyssa Milano used the hashtag to spread awareness about sexual harassment and assault during the time victims of Hollywood mogul Harvey Weintein’s sexual abuse started coming out. The hashtag exploded with women coming with their stories of sexual harassment and assault both online and in public. A number of powerful male figures ended up getting outed by the victims of their sexual indiscretions from Hollywood stars and media moguls to politicians and Supreme Court Justice nominees.

I know at first glance for people who just see the show, #MeToo sounds like a weird subject given the amount of sex and cases of sexual assault on-screen (I blame Benioff and Weiss for scenes like Jaime and Cersei in the sept) and some in the text. However, numerous female characters, including point-of-view (POV) characters, are subject to moments that would fit in with #MeToo. The reader gets to see the threats faced by women in a highly patriarchal, restrictive society across age and class lines, and see how instructive it can be with regards to sexual abuse cases in real-life. There are plenty of cases in the series, but I am going to focus on a few.

Sansa Stark

Let us start with the POV character Sansa Stark, especially since the iconic phrase “Me Too” was inspired by the sexual abuse of a young girl. Sansa starts the series as a naïve, eleven year-old girl, who like many girls her age, even in the real world, has dreams of romance and lives in a dream world. She is in love with her betrothed, Joffrey, and has a rivalry with her less-than-conventional sister, Arya. However, her dream world later turns into a nightmare world with Cersei initiating a coup, and her betrothed beheading her father, and having her beaten when she displeases him. Throughout the series, Sansa suffers from numerous acts of sexual harassment, sexual assault and attempts at sexual assault.

As father of the realm, Joffrey took the place of Lord Eddard Stark. Sansa stood stiff as a lance as his hands came over her shoulders to fumble with the clasp of her cloak. One of them brushed her breast and lingered to give it a little squeeze.

-A Storm of Swords, Sansa III

"A king can have other women. Whores. My father did. One of the Aegons did too. The third one, or the fourth. He had lots of whores and lots of bastards." As they whirled to the music, Joff gave her a moist kiss. "My uncle will bring you to my bed whenever I command it."

Sansa shook her head. "He won't."

"He will, or I'll have his head. That King Aegon, he had any woman he wanted, whether they were married or no."

-A Storm of Swords, Sansa III

"Don't be sad, Sansa, once I've gotten Queen Margaery with child I'll visit your bedchamber and show my little uncle how it's done."

-A Storm of Swords, Sansa IV

When Joffrey is unclasping her cloak for her wedding, he takes the opportunity to grope her. When they dance, he forces a kiss on her, and tells her that he would make her his whore. Essentially, he tells her that he plans to not simply sleep with, but rape her whenever he wished. He also makes rape jokes in public to Sansa’s face. Sansa doesn’t retaliate or reprimand him for an obvious reason: he has his Kingsguard beat her whenever she opened her mouth against him or displeased him. Another reason is the same reason no one else present in those situations reprimands him: because he is the king, the head of state, one of the most powerful people in the Seven Kingdoms. However, he is also still a minor under Westerosi laws, and until he comes of age, governance is given to two people: the Regent and the Hand of the King. The Hand, his grandfather Lord Tywin Lannister, has a fearsome reputation that discourages others from reprimanding his grandson for his behavior, and the same could be said for the Queen Regent, his mother Cersei, who would never approve of people reprimanding her son in any way. Neither of the two adults who could reprimand Joffrey really care about Sansa either. Sansa on the other hand has no power as a ward and hostage, or rather prisoner, in the royal court of King’s Landing. None of the adults are willing to help her with the only exception being Tyrion. Essentially, Sansa has little to no protection from Joffrey’s unwanted sexual indiscretions.

Sansa is later rescued from King’s Landing, and is taken to the Vale in hiding by Lord Petyr Baelish, also known as Littlefinger. While no longer having to put up with Joffrey’s sexual indiscretions, Sansa isn’t any safer with Baelish.

"I told you that nothing could please me more than to help you with your castle. I fear that was a lie as well. Something else would please me more." He stepped closer. "This."

Sansa tried to step back, but he pulled her into his arms and suddenly he was kissing her. Feebly, she tried to squirm, but only succeeded in pressing herself more tightly against him. His mouth was on hers, swallowing her words. He tasted of mint. For half a heartbeat she yielded to his kiss . . . before she turned her face away and wrenched free. "What are you doing?"

Petyr straightened his cloak. "Kissing a snow maid."

-A Storm of Swords, Sansa VII

"I did not expect you back so soon," she said. "I am glad you've come."

"I would never have known it from the kiss you gave me." He pulled her closer, caught her face between his hands, and kissed her on the lips for a long time. "Now that's the sort of kiss that says welcome home. See that you do better next time."

"Yes, Father." She could feel herself blushing.

-A Feast for Crows, Alayne II

Petyr, a man aged in his late thirties, forces a kiss on a thirteen year-old girl more than once. The first time she made it clear to him she didn’t like it, and he continues in spite of it. He is Lord Protector of the Vale with the household of the Eyrie under his control, and she has hardly any friends at court. I’m not even mentioning that he is essentially sexually grooming her throughout their relationship. Sexual grooming is the practice where an adult influences a child so they can be able to draw them into a sexual relationship. There are six stages according to forensic psychiatrist Dr. Michael Welner.

Stage 1: Targeting the victim

The offender targets a victim by sizing up the child's vulnerability—emotional neediness, isolation and lower self-confidence. Children with less parental oversight are more desirable prey. Petyr clearly targeted Sansa since they met. Sansa loses her father, her mother is far away and later dies, had her only friend Jeyne taken from her. She is isolated at the Red Keep with no real friends, and the constant abuse from the Lannister family lowered her own self-confidence.

Stage 2: Gaining the victim's trust

The sex offender gains trust by watching and gathering information about the child, getting to know his needs and how to fill them. In this regard, sex offenders mix effortlessly with responsible caretakers. Petyr knows that Sansa is a romantic, and fond of chivalrous knights and uses Ser Dontos as a go-between under the guise of one. Petyr is a member of the Lannisters’ small council, who are her guardians for the first three books.

Stage 3: Filling a need

Once the sex offender begins to fill the child's needs, that adult may assume noticeably more importance in the child's life and may become idealized. Gifts, extra attention, affection may distinguish one adult in particular. Petyr knows that Sansa wants a knight who will protect her, and so uses Ser Dontos to pretend to help her, acting as a “true knight.” He also acts as her protector and savior, taking her away from King’s Landing, and hiding her from the Lannisters. He acts as her guardian as well, knowing she lost her father.

Stage 4: Isolating the child

The grooming sex offender uses the developing special relationship with the child to create situations in which they are alone together. This isolation further reinforces a special connection. Petyr takes her away from King’s Landing to a ship where they share a small cabin, his tower that he rules, and later the Eyrie. As the Lord Protector of the Vale, the Eyrie is under his control.

Stage 5: Sexualizing the relationship

At a stage of sufficient emotional dependence and trust, the offender progressively sexualizes the relationship. Desensitization occurs through talking, pictures, even creating situations in which both offender and victim are naked. When teaching a child, the grooming sex offender has the opportunity to shape the child's sexual preferences and can manipulate what a child finds exciting and extend the relationship in this way. The child comes to see her/himself as a more sexual being and to define the relationship with the offender in more sexual and special terms.

Petyr kisses Sansa in the godswood, and later, kisses her again when they are at the Gates of the Moon. When teaching her about relationships, he also tells her that “young girls were always happiest with older men. ‘Innocence and experience make for a perfect marriage.’”

Stage 6: Maintaining control

Once the sex abuse is occurring, offenders commonly use secrecy and blame to maintain the child's continued participation and silence, particularly because the sexual activity may cause the child to withdraw from the relationship. Children in these entangled relationships confront threats to blame them, to end the relationship and to end the emotional and material needs they associate with the relationship. The child may feel that the loss of the relationship and the consequences of exposing it will humiliate and render them even more unwanted.

Petyr maintains Sansa’s silence through the fact he is providing her a place to hide and protection. If she wanted to run away, where would she go? She is a fugitive wanted for regicide with a large reward posted for her capture, and Petyr’s plan made her an accessory to regicide. Her home of Winterfell is burned and all her family believed dead with the North having come under the rule of the Boltons who are backed by the Lannisters. The need for protection he provides and the potential loss of a sanctuary or place to call home is her reason for not leaving. She was also present when Petyr pushed Lysa out the moon door to her death, again, making her an accessory to murder. Though, he likely won’t, he could always threaten to turn her over to the Lannisters, which would be a death sentence. In other words, Sansa has nowhere else to go, and at Littlefinger’s mercy. She can’t appeal to anyone to stop his acts of sexual assault.

Of course, Petyr wasn’t the first person in the Vale to make unwanted sexual advances to Sansa, that dishonor goes to a singer named Marillion.

"Alayne." Her aunt's singer stood over her. "Sweet Alayne. I am Marillion. I saw you come in from the rain. The night is chill and wet. Let me warm you."

The old dog raised his head and growled, but the singer gave him a cuff and sent him slinking off, whimpering.

"Marillion?" she said, uncertain. "You are . . . kind to think of me, but . . . pray forgive me. I am very tired."

"And very beautiful. All night I have been making songs for you in my head. A lay for your eyes, a ballad for your lips, a duet to your breasts. I will not sing them, though. They were poor things, unworthy of such beauty." He sat on her bed and put his hand on her leg. "Let me sing to you with my body instead."

She caught a whiff of his breath. "You're drunk."

"I never get drunk. Mead only makes me merry. I am on fire." His hand slipped up to her thigh. "And you as well."

"Unhand me. You forget yourself."

"Mercy. I have been singing love songs for hours. My blood is stirred. And yours, I know . . . there's no wench half so lusty as one bastard born. Are you wet for me?"

"I'm a maiden," she protested.

"Truly? Oh, Alayne, Alayne, my fair maid, give me the gift of your innocence. You will thank the gods you did. I'll have you singing louder than the Lady Lysa."

Sansa jerked away from him, frightened. "If you don't leave me, my au—my father will hang you. Lord Petyr."

"Littlefinger?" He chuckled. "Lady Lysa loves me well, and I am Lord Robert's favorite. If your father offends me, I will destroy him with a verse." He put a hand on her breast, and squeezed. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes. You wouldn't want them ripped, I know. Come, sweet lady, heed your heart—"

-A Storm of Swords, Sansa VI

Let’s go through what happened step-by-step. He starts by coming onto her in a creepy, no-so-subtle way, and she replies that she’s tired, basically signaling that she isn’t interested. He then directly propositions her, and responds by inappropriately touching her leg. He then gropes her thigh, which alone is an act of sexual assault. She responds by telling him to stop, and he acts like he doesn’t care. She protests that she is a virgin, and he continues to press, saying that she would like it if she lost her virginity to him. Desperate, she then resorts to threatening him as a way to get him to stop, saying he would be hanged if he tried to force himself on her. He responds by saying that his patrons are the ruling Lady and the young Lord of the Eyrie who hold him high in their esteem, protecting him from punishment and retribution by her father. He then escalates by groping her breast, and is clearly intending to rape her. He doesn’t see it that way; like so many rapists, he is telling himself as well as her that in spite of what she says, she actually wants it and she would like it. It was only Ser Lothor Brune’s intervention that stopped him. Of course, Brune’s protection is selective as he isn’t able to stop Littlefinger’s advances given Littlefinger is his employer, and only protected Sansa that night on Littlefinger’s orders.

Sansa found herself in situations many girls unfortunately find themselves in. Many young girls have been preyed upon by older male figures who have charge over them from male guardians to schoolteachers. The younger they are, the more vulnerable they are, and the more easily they can be threatened and manipulated into staying silent regarding their abuse. Sexual grooming contains one of the largest power imbalances since it is between an adult and a child. There are plenty of cases: serial predator Robert Kelly and Aaliyah (27 and 15 respectively), President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Bridgette (15 and 40, she was his high school teacher) and Jerry Lee Lewis and his cousin, Myra Brown (23 and 13, she still believed in Santa Claus).

Let’s look at the issue in the case of an older, more powerful woman.

Cersei Lannister

Cersei is a POV character by the fourth book, and isn’t a character one would usually call sympathetic. She is narcissistic, cruel and abusive with no qualms about killing innocents, even children. She even went so far as to have Sansa’s direwolf killed for something her sister’s direwolf did. We know that she hated her royal husband, Robert, as he was blatantly unfaithful, not even keeping his affairs discrete, and on their wedding knight he whispered his late betrothed’s name into her ear. However, we later learned of another reason she had to hate him.

use her as a man would use her, the way Robert would use her when the drink was in him, and she was unable to bring him off with hand or mouth.

Those had been the worst nights, lying helpless underneath him as he took his pleasure, stinking of wine and grunting like a boar. Usually he rolled off and went to sleep as soon as it was done, and was snoring before his seed could dry upon her thighs. She was always sore afterward, raw between the legs, her breasts painful from the mauling he would give them. The only time he'd ever made her wet was on their wedding night . . . For Robert, those nights never happened. Come morning he remembered nothing, or so he would have had her believe. Once, during the first year of their marriage, Cersei had voiced her displeasure the next day. "You hurt me," she complained. He had the grace to look ashamed. "It was not me, my lady," he said in a sulky sullen tone, like a child caught stealing apple cakes from the kitchen. "It was the wine. I drink too much wine." To wash down his admission, he reached for his horn of ale. As he raised it to his mouth, she smashed her own horn in his face, so hard she chipped a tooth. Years later at a feast, she heard him telling a serving wench how he'd cracked the tooth in a mêlée. Well, our marriage was a mêlée, she reflected, so he did not lie.

The rest had all been lies, though. He did remember what he did to her at night, she was convinced of that. She could see it in his eyes. He only pretended to forget; it was easier to do that than to face his shame. Deep down Robert Baratheon was a coward. In time the assaults did grow less frequent. During the first year he took her at least once a fortnight; by the end it was not even once a year. He never stopped completely, though. Sooner or later there would always come a night when he would drink too much and want to claim his rights. What shamed him in the light of day gave him pleasure in the darkness.

-A Feast for Crows, Cersei VII

Robert was an alcoholic, and there were times when he got drunk and then forced himself on his wife. The first year of their marriage was marked by Robert’s marital rapes at a frightening frequency of once a fortnight or every two weeks. She couldn’t divorce him, since this is a society where the concept of divorce doesn’t exist, and annulment was also out of the question since neither her husband nor father would allow it. Robert was also king, and being the ultimate authority she couldn’t have him arrested. She didn’t turn to her father given even though he was one of the most powerful lords in Westeros, he was on the other side of the continent, and even so, he had arranged the marriage, and was more concerned with his grandchildren sitting the Iron Throne and the glory of his house than his daughter. She didn’t tell her brother Jaime either given she knew he would respond by trying to kill Robert and that would mean Jaime would die as well.

Even being a powerful figure like the Queen of Westeros who was the daughter of a powerful lord, and the sister of the best swordsman in the Seven Kingdoms couldn’t protect her from the dangers of rape. Essentially, she was trapped in her abusive marriage. The only way out was by murdering her husband (admittedly not the only reason she had Robert killed, there were clearly other reasons as well).

"Please. Have you given any thought to what Joffrey will do when I tell him you murdered his father to bed his mother?"

"It was not like that!" Lancel protested, horrified.

"No? What was it like, pray?"

"The queen gave me the strongwine! Your own father Lord Tywin, when I was named the king's squire, he told me to obey her in everything."

"Did he tell you to fuck her too?" Look at him. Not quite so tall, his features not so fine, and his hair is sand instead of spun gold, yet still . . . even a poor copy of Jaime is sweeter than an empty bed, I suppose. "No, I thought not."

"I never meant . . . I only did as I was bid, I . . ."

-A Clash of Kings, Tyrion VII

"Did you force her [Cersei]?"

"No! I [Lancel] loved her. I wanted to protect her."

-A Feast for Crows, Jaime IV

Cersei’s relationship with sexual abuse is made complicated by the fact the she abused her position as queen to take advantage of her teenaged cousin and Robert’s squire, Lancel. She proves to be a victimizer as well as victim. It is something not as commonly seen, as it is usually a powerful man using his power over a woman below him in the power structure, but there are cases where the genders in this situation are reversed. Lancel was consenting, but he was no older than sixteen and he was very inexperienced as opposed to Cersei, a woman in her thirties who has more experience. This is shown is his comments on their relationship in A Feast for Crows, where Lancel says that he “loved her” and “wanted to protect her.” Those aren’t the words of a mature man, but a vulnerable, inexperienced teenage boy. She slept with him for both sexual gratification, and as a way to manipulate him into being her pawn, exchanging sex for loyalty. In this world, it would be a clear case of statutory rape, but even if one overlooks the fact that sixteen is considered the age of maturity in Westeros, she is also guilty of professional exploitation and workplace harassment. A CEO would risking losing his position if he did that with an intern, and with one US President, Bill Clinton, it got him impeached.

We saw a similar case in the real-world with Asia Argento, herself one of Harvey Weinstein’s victims, being accused by a young actor, Jimmy Bennett, of sexual assaulting him in a hotel room when he was 17 years-old.

It’s not the only time Cersei commits sexual assault.

She wondered what it would feel like to suckle on those breasts, to lay the Myrish woman on her back and push her legs apart and use her as a man would use her, the way Robert would use her when the drink was in him, and she was unable to bring him off with hand or mouth.

. . .

Cersei cupped the other woman's breast. Softly at first, hardly touching, feeling the warmth of it beneath her palm, the skin as smooth as satin. She gave it a gentle squeeze, then ran her thumbnail lightly across the big dark nipple, back and forth and back and forth until she felt it stiffen. When she glanced up, Taena's eyes were open. "Does that feel good?" she asked.

"Yes," said Lady Merryweather.

"And this?" Cersei pinched the nipple now, pulling on it hard, twisting it between her fingers.

The Myrish woman gave a gasp of pain. "You're hurting me." "It's just the wine. I had a flagon with my supper, and another with the widow Stokeworth. I had to drink to keep her calm." She twisted Taena's other nipple too, pulling until the other woman gasped. "I am the queen. I mean to claim my rights."

"Do what you will." Taena's hair was as black as Robert's, even down between her legs, and when Cersei touched her there she found her hair all sopping wet, where Robert's had been coarse and dry. "Please," the Myrish woman said, "go on, my queen. Do as you will with me. I'm yours."

-A Feast for Crows, Cersei VII

Cersei in this scene is intent on re-enacting her assaults at the hands of Robert, only this time she is the victimizer. One can clearly see this with the line “I am the queen. I mean to claim my rights,” and blame her actions on “just the wine,” using the same terminology she used to describe Robert’s rapes as well as Robert’s excuses for the rapes. She starts when Taena is asleep, and unable to give consent. Taena does give what would appear to be consent when awake, but is she in any position to refuse? Taena had hardly any agency in that situation at all as Cersei clearly wasn’t going to take “no” for an answer, and she is the Queen Regent, the head of government, while Taena is there only at her pleasure. Cersei has Taena’s life and likely that of her family in her hands, and Taena also knows how harsh and unforgiving Cersei can be.

Cersei’s assault of Taena shows that one doesn’t necessarily need to be a man to engage in harassment, and even women can engage in it against other women. There is a case where HSBC executive Eileen Hedges, a heterosexual married woman who like Cersei rose to a high-powered position in a male-dominated environment, systematically harassed her subordinate, Jill. When Jill threatened to quit, Eileen responded that she had Jill’s career in her hands and could respond by telling her potential employers of her affairs at HSBC, hurting her chances of finding work outside her current job. Behavior like the kind Eileen displayed also happens since the people who witness it are afraid to come forward given they could face retaliation as well.

Being a victim of abuse doesn’t stop her from being an abuser. As someone who hasn’t had much control over her life with her father and husband making choices for her, she gets to be the one in control in this situation, and exercise power over another individual. Sexual assault ultimately is about power with regards to who can perpetrate it against whom.

Instances among the Smallfolk

The two people I’ve mentioned, Sansa and Cersei, are both highborn ladies, the daughters of powerful lords who were Wardens. We so far have talked about sexual assault and harassment only through the experience of members of the upper class. When it comes to smallfolk, they are generally more vulnerable to rape than highborn. Highborn ladies of ruling families have swords to defend their honor as well as chivalry while lowborn women don’t.

"Aye. My mother was a washerwoman at Cider Hall till one of milord's sons raped her. Makes me a sort o' brown apple Fossoway, the way I see it."

-A Dance with Dragons, The Lost Lord

Franklyn Flowers’s mother worked at Cider Hall, and was raped by one of her employers. She likely wasn’t able to press charges against him, given the judge who would be presiding over the case would be her liege, the Knight of Cider Hall, who was her attacker’s father. The other judge she could appeal her case to would be the Fossoways’ liege lord, Lord Tyrell. Both her attacker and his father undoubtedly knew Lord Tyrell personally, and Tyrell likely wouldn’t have wanted to alienate his bannerman by punishing his son. It would have been Fossoway’s word against hers, and there is a good chance Tyrell would have been likely to either dismiss the case or acquit him. The Knight of Cider Hall, by virtue of being her liege, is also her landlord, and her rapist could potentially retaliate by having his father evict her family, leaving them unemployed and homeless. He could also visit her home with some of his castle’s garrison to intimidate them.

Warning Spoilers for The Winds of Winter ahead

“I have not been raped, if that is what you’re asking,” the old woman said. “Some of the serving girls have been less fortunate. Married or unmarried, the men make no distinctions. “

“No one’s been doing any raping,” insisted Young John Mudd. “Connington won’t have that. We follow orders.”

Chain nodded. “Some girls was persuaded, might be.”

“The same way our smallfolk were persuaded to give you all their crops. Melons or maidenheads, it’s all the same to your sort. If you want it, you take it.”

-The Winds of Winter, Arianne II

When the Golden Company occupies Mistwood, Lady Mertyns states that serving girls at the castle are raped by some of the mercenaries. Mudd replies to the accusations of rape by denying them, and Chain does the same by saying they were “persuaded.” Well, how hard would it be for an armed man who won’t take “no” for an answer to persuade a defenseless serving girl? Their attackers are literally armed, and could just force the girls at the point of a sword or a dagger. If the girls tried to have their attackers charged, their case wouldn’t be brought to who would usually be the judge in this case, Lady Mertyns, who would undoubtedly have been sympathetic towards them, but the Golden Company who has the estate under occupation and thus, final authority. The officers in the Golden Company would be the ones hearing the case, and if the comments of the serjeants are anything to go by, it would just be dismissed. That is without saying that the girls, like many victims of rape and sexual assault, would have to deal with the fear of retaliation by their attackers and their cohorts for coming forward.

Conclusion:

With all these #MeToo situations in A Song of Ice and Fire, the factor in common that played a huge role in how sexual abuse was perpetrated and the abusers were able to get away with it was power dynamics. The perpetrators of sexual abuse are either powerful men (or women in Cersei’s case) or protected by powerful individuals and/or institutions whether it be the feudal hierarchy or the Golden Company. In Sansa and Cersei’s cases, their abusers were the most powerful figures in a feudal society: kings. No king has ever been arrested for anything. The smallfolk women were preyed upon by either a well-connected, highborn man like Fossoway or mercenaries serving in the company that controlled the area. Just to give one example in how power dynamics works, in the case of Marillion, Sansa was posing as Petyr’s bastard daughter, Alayne, and in the Vale, as the bastard daughter of the smallest of lords, the singer with the support of House Arryn has more power and influence between the two. However, there is a good chance Marillion wouldn’t have tried it if he knew who she actually was. As the trueborn daughter of House Stark and (supposed) heiress to Winterfell as well as niece and cousin to the Lady and Lord of the Eyrie respectively, the power dynamic shifts in her favor.

This is a pattern we can often see in the real world, especially in situations of workplace abuse. Serial abuser Harvey Weinstein was protected by his status as a powerful Hollywood mogul with high-profile connections going as far as the Clintons while the women he preyed upon were generally young actresses whose careers he could threaten. Roger Ailes was the Chairman and CEO of Fox News and Fox News Television Stations where news anchors like Gretchen Carlson, Megyn Kelly and Andrea Tantaros worked (all of whom were harassed by him). Sexual abuse and harassment is very much about power, as in many cases, the abusers have the connections and status to shield them from potential consequences for their actions while the abused are usually deficient in these things when compared to their abusers. It is often perpetrated by powerful individuals against their subordinates, people below them in the corporate hierarchy. The victims are almost never people above the abusers in the corporate hierarchy who could potentially threaten their careers. And like in Westeros, heads of state in the modern world have been abusers, including US Presidents.

The women in the book series were afraid to come forward out of not just the fear of their claims being dismissed by authority figures, but potential retaliation from their attackers and their associates best exemplified by Sansa knowing she would be beaten by Joffrey’s Kingsguard if she did. Tantaros complained about Ailes’s sexual harassment to executives, and it only resulted in her facing retaliation by being demoted and then taken off the air. Eliza Dushku confronted her “Bull” show co-star and lead, Michael Weatherly, over his uncomfortable behavior such as comments about her appearance, a rape joke and a comment on a threesome. It ended up in her character being written off the show and her being fired. Danielle Hartley, who worked as an assistant to Larry Wallace, senior aide for then California Attorney General Kamala Harris, accused him of sexual harassment only to be transferred to another department. Weinstein threatened a number of his victims that he could use his connections and clout as a Hollywood mogul to prevent them from finding work in Hollywood along with threats of violence. People who witness it are afraid to come forward as well. One employee in the HSBC harassment case, Mike Picarella, came forward (anonymously) to protect Jill from Eileen’s harassment, and it just resulted in the executives, looking out for one of their own, destroying his career. He not only lost his job at the bank, but was practically blacklisted from the industry with him having trouble finding work in his field, not even able to get a job as an operations manager at a retirement home.

In short, while the medieval Westeros and modern-day real world are two completely different settings with regards to technological advancement, society and forms of government, both suffer from some of the same shortcomings. They are patriarchal societies where sexual abuse is commonplace, and in too many cases, tolerated. People (mostly men) take advantage of power imbalances to target others for sexual harassment and abuse, relying on their position, wealth and/or connections for protection.

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reversemortgagehuntingtonbe-blog · 6 years ago

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rennyji · 3 years ago

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June 30th and 29th tweets...

June 30th tweets…

on my way home after lunch hour, &close 2 my neighborhood, a ripped tan white guy without a shirt &kiwi green shorts gestures “if I want 2 fight him from the side of the road” & walks toward the road. now I don’t know him, have been living here for yrs, minding my own-so random.-

- once again I would have to suspect the orchestrators are passing something off as me, relaying something they’re not supposed to, or filtering my writing. When people get on ur case out of the blue, does that bacon fueled animal think in any shape or form he’s part of my life?-

- I guess that’s why so many of my friends are south or East Asian- like Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, Korean…and then there are the Greeks or the Mediterranean variety of people…I feel these groups are less aggressive and randomly looking for a fight…

Now I come home, gotta deal with the village personality of my Indian father & the overly Christian nature from Biblical times of my “pretending everything’s okay with life” parents. Seeing them for 30 years made me want 2 leave my the background they hail from, their religion.-

- I contemplate marrying out for mixed race children…but now America has teamed up against me as one team leaving me with no one. Just the crazy random people on the street.

- one ray of sunlight is the Chinese woman who held my hand in passing, or the tall blonde with the dog crossing the street in Bronxville, from in front of my car, who went out of her way to wave at me twice…-

- amidst the “situation”, the stupidity in my home till I can afford an apartment, the crazies gesturing me if I want to fight, the people at work with misconceptions…it just never ends…Thank God for my morning coffee or when I go for a massage…

Yeah, for one reason or another, just putting this out there, real men get men’s pedicures and manicures. Who wants flaky skin on their fingers or rough feet?! Got the idea from Will Smiths character on one of the episodes in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air…

i like christina aguilera, in terms of looks, when she first started out...now she's too...too...tough looking...

msn dot com has a lot of interesting stories that catch my eye, in my old, obese age...stories like whats trending and about pop culture...

Have you ever been around someone who randomly and alone, develops the habit or ability of chewing out loud...I think I’ve heard those three words together out loud before: “chew out loud.” I think it’s a thing.-

- I mean, to make every sound behind eating audible is just a ridiculous habit. What is the benefit for those who eat like that?! I eat without making a sound and I’m still able to enjoy the taste of my food. -

-Is it just an old habit that kept repeating with no real origin or reason? I saw a friend from long ago on Facebook yesterday with his beautiful wife and child,living as lawyers, and a “classy life”, a “life of standard”, at that. -

-People who chew/ or eat out loud for that matter have got to be because their parents didn’t give them an a*s wh*pping and spoiled them for being the baby in the family.-

-Mother probably did everything and now that child has that expectation of others in his/her life. I’ll bet these same people, while innately smart, just sit around, while their spouses, siblings, or roommates have 10x the activity in the same time frame of their day.-

- I’ll bet their perception of life is on the unconventional side too, siding on ideal scenarios and not a life of meaning, probably more along the lines of how people of your world see you. I mean things like that, it affects who you associate with or go out in public with. -

-It’s not about freedom. Whatever the age, practice decency...don’t be an animal...that’s just my thought on eating out loud...probably the only way to get it through to some, in the spirit of patience, not practiced in actual conversation..-

-I mean literally, every sound from sipping the drink into the mouth-if it’s drinking- to expressing satisfaction upon swallowing, to burping when digested...geez...learn from the point, rather than seeing it as some cultural insult from another world, -

-or seeing it as humorous that someone you know is talking about you...it’s disgusting and there comes a time to snap out of it...-

-when those of ur world put you through actual tormenting procedures over the course of eleven years, excuse you for bringing up a real concern/issue over what actually is stubbornness or lack of ability to comprehend.

but moving on...just bumping into random behaviors all day from random people...

doctors...i think theyre among the people you say/hear are out to get your money. Not accepting insurance, charging $350 per visit is one thing. But then simply to discuss an email or one phone call's worth of change and charging $350 for that...geez...-

-then theres the not-understanding-what-ur-going-thru &ur mental energy taken 2enforce a decision..the 1st $350 proved worthless, as that doctorProbablyDid more harm than good, &now an additional $350 4 a minor detail?! Hippocratic Oath my a*s. Even doctors lie 2me despite oaths.

the world is an ugly place, save for a few people...like that innocent pale blond riding her bike who apologizes for running into you with her bike, a couple of weeks ago...rest of the world is filled with attitude and things they see you through and simply foolishness...

On Amazon, they sell the " Nitrofit Pro Limber Stretch Machine " or U can search stretch machine, but it looks like Nitrofit brand's version. It costs $500. I wish morePeople would buy this stuff, so prices would go down. its an E-Z way 2 do essential stretching 4 tired muscles.-

- I mean you just have to get on top of it, in the prescribed positions, rather than using one of those straps...but then at the same time, if you go to a massage place for someone to stretch your muscles for you, it's $80 at discount pricing-and how often can you spend $80?-

- a one time investment of $500 could allow you to get the $80 benefit daily at your own comfort.

so they say vibrating foam rollers are good 4 tender muscles.has any1 noticed that some versionsVibrate more against urHands or theFloor, then the targeted area of ur chest or leg muscles? so how is it helping if most of the vibration goes 2the floor? or is it just 1 or 2 brands?

When I make it big, on really warm days, whether Im on that floor of my house or not, Im going 2turn on the central AC 4 all floors inTheHouse? Why? I find it annoying &disgusting, when I have 2 make that trip 2 the floor where the AC isn't on, & Im smacked w/a burst of heat.

So I'm experiencing that moment when one realizes he/she has everything on their bedroom L-Desk, with the exception of a pen and some paper to write on...but mostly a pen...how did that happen?!

June 29th tweets...

Came home after being in the heat, was thirsty. Had a cup of raspberry soda water from my soda stream. It felt so right for the opportunity…felt good going down my throat…

While out and about, kept seeing smoking hot Hispanic women…these women all, whether it’s good genes or makeup I dunno, have flawless, non oily, glistening skin…is the source some product from your native places and/or good genes? Share the knowledge…

Heard a song I downloaded long ago, on my car’s cd playlist…YouTube “Gained the World” by Morcheeba (I think that’s how it’s spelled…) - I heard it when channel 11 was WB11 and not The CW…anyone else remember that?!

“Will You Be There” by Michael Jackson…heard it for the first time in “Free Willy” and kept on listening to it…beautiful song…

Tired of plugging in ur iPhone or whatever else phone?! You can just put it on a stand to charge wirelessly. Works even with the case. On Amazon, search “ Anker 3 in 1 Multi Device Charging Station “.

U know whats also a good product 2 relieve fatigue in place of caffeine? A hand massager. LifePro has a version with some good intensity, but I prefer the highTech looking Chinese made ones. Just sharing the knowledge. Finding something good takes buying them all & trying em out.

Has anyone else tried Shawarma? Heard it for the first time in Iron Man from the Tony Stark character. It came off to me as a healthy version of the Indian �� biryani “ dish, minus the spices and butter. Now I can cross that off my list of things to try…

U know whats good? - Arabic food… “kibbeh” (an appetizer) comes off 2 me as something 2 remind me of Indian kababs w/an edibleCovering around the powderedMeat. Then theres the dessert, “Kunafa”-like sugary lasagna minus the tomatoSauce &cheese but w/something like cream inside.

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aprilrichardson · 7 years ago

Text

I Know It’s Over

There are people to whom music doesn't matter. I often envy these people. My mom is one of them -- she's not really concerned with music, poetry, movies, or anything in popular culture. She considers herself a whole, satisfied person without these things in her life, free from any aesthetic crutches. I am not one of those people. I needed music. I need music. From a very early age, I needed music to tell me I was okay. I needed it to tell me I was normal, I needed it to tell me I was weird, I needed it to confirm that I'd be fine either way. I needed it in a dramatic way. I needed it in a mundane way, playing all the time in the background like wallpaper with a pattern you've stopped noticing. I needed to identify with it, I needed it to make me feel complicated emotions I'd never felt before; it could comfort me or repulse me, soothe me or force me to look outward, echo my own sentiments or expand my mind to fit new ones. Music (and the bands/people who made it) served as my mentor, my older sibling, my voice of reason and, at times, bad influence. When you're an only child from a fractured family, you spend a lot of time in your room. Your hobbies can become your closest friends. Music became my savior and my most time-consuming, all-encompassing, money-draining pursuit. My savings account would be at least triple its current amount had I not been so obsessed with seeing bands and collecting their records. Perhaps I would have created more things of my own if I'd not spent so much time fawning over the creations of others. My personality would have been entirely different if, early on in my youth, I had not blatantly lifted the clothes and mannerisms and styles of those I looked up to or had not read the books and watched the movies they had championed. For better or worse, art -- this specific form of art, music -- has been and continues to be a transformative force in my life. At the very center of this were two bands, R.E.M. and The Smiths, and specifically two people: Michael Stipe and Morrissey. My first two real heroes, with now only the former still on the pedestal I built when I was around 11 or 12. I moved to a new neighborhood and school district when I was in second grade, and became fast friends with a boy my age who lived one street over. Nathan and I shared a lot of the same interests, and as we started middle school, a deep obsession with those two aforementioned bands and frontmen (and, also, Depeche Mode and Dave Gahan). Nathan was gay before either one of us knew what that meant, and was often mocked for this -- I was made fun of, too, but for reasons far less difficult for me than coming to terms with my sexuality as an adolescent. But, for our own reasons, we were outcasts, seeking comfort in our chosen art. This was conservative Georgia in the late '80s/early '90s, a time well before the Internet, before easily accessible media, when role models were fought for tooth and nail, with plans having to be made on how to save enough allowance for cassette tapes, older friends or siblings bribed to purchase things with "parental advisory" labels we'd smuggle into our rooms later. I can barely put into words what hearing (and seeing!) Morrissey for the first time did to us -- did FOR us! For Nathan, in such an environment, Morrissey became a blueprint for queerness, the very first peek into the very POSSIBILITY of life as a grown man who wasn't either an alpha male jock, like all the ones at our school, or stern businessman with a briefcase, like all of our (step)dads. He was the first person to, with his mannerisms and his very existence, communicate to Nathan that it was perfectly fine (and cool even!) to, in the words of the bullies, "act like a girl." And the magical thing is, he somehow simultaneously did the exact opposite for me! As a masculine tomboy, I saw in him a person so easily blurring the lines of both! He made me feel better about the qualities I had so often been told "weren't ladylike." We talked about him constantly. We dressed like him. It goes without saying that his music was playing in the background nearly every time we hung out. I remember my mom allowing me to stay up late to watch Johnny Carson the night Morrissey was on -- I was 12, and I absolutely remember my mom getting angry, watching alongside me as Morrissey fans screamed over Bill Cosby (gulp) as he tried to talk. The next year, Morrissey was on Saturday Night Live, and my mom let me go over to Nathan's house to watch it (our parents became very close friends as well). He taped it on their VCR as we watched, and we immediately played it back. We watched it probably every day for months. We didn't have the money to buy all of his back catalog, so an older kid in my youth group at church let me borrow his Smiths CDs, and I dubbed copies on my tape deck for us. I sat and hand-wrote the lyrics down on notebook paper, carefully transcribing from the liner notes as the tape recorded. It's difficult for me to be eloquent here, and I always find it hard to convey these feelings to people who are, well, normal, who can hear a song and go, "That's nice!" and not have to immediately know its backstory, who wrote it, why they wrote it, what inspires them, what books they read, etc. Who don't feel their insides twist into knots when a turn of phrase meets a melody and the combination makes them feel understood in a way they never have, sets them at ease in a way that even the kind words of the closest relative couldn't do. That is absolutely how I felt the first time I heard The Smiths. When you're 12, at least when I was 12, the last people you feel like you can talk to about your feelings are your parents; and for Nathan, doubly so, as I don't think he could even articulate his until Morrissey's lyrics shed some light on what he'd been going through. So, for us, this guy was so far from "just a singer" -- he was a beacon, a mentor, he told us it was okay to be effeminate and okay to be masculine and okay that you didn't get invited to the parties because staying in your room reading books was more glamorous anyway. The world wasn't made for people like us and that should be worn as a badge of honor, not shame. Such a message was REVELATORY for a girl whose every male role model had let her down or left entirely and a boy who didn't want to play football or shoot guns. The obsession continued and deepened, and in high school, became full on reliance. Who better to help me navigate the emotional minefield that is the teen years than Morrissey? I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I didn't do drugs, I didn't "party," I didn't even so much as hold a boy's hand until I was a couple weeks shy of 16 years old -- all of the things that kids considered fun and did on a regular basis were so foreign to me, until I got home to my bedroom and was soothed by the voice of a guy who also did not participate in any of the above. I didn't really know anyone in real life who seemed to understand my plight more than the man whose voice was blasting out of my speakers. To me, Morrissey was always absolutely the voice of the underdogs. The weirdos. The outcasts. The disenfranchised. Anyone who felt left out, let down, misunderstood, too sensitive, too sad. He was there to comfort us, understanding and empathetic to our needs while giving the finger to the system and the people therein who were keeping us down, shoving us into lockers, ripping the glasses off our faces and stomping on them in front of their domineering friends. When someone writes songs as seemingly personal as Morrissey's, you tend to think you know them. And in my case, having read so many books about him (and now some BY him), I felt that way, to a degree. I like to think of myself as a rational person (perhaps after reading this far, you disagree), but I definitely felt a bit like I "knew" him in the sense that I'd picked up on words he'd frequently used ("vulgar" and "vile" were personal favorites), had working knowledge of the causes that were important to him, and certainly knew his favorite bands and movies and authors. I'd even been lucky enough to meet him quite a few times, especially after moving to Los Angeles, where I'd see him at restaurants and shows, and he was always cordial (if not downright sweet) to me every time we spoke. Of course I'd heard stories about him "being a dick," but that never bothered me, truly, only because I think that's kind of relative, and perhaps a lack of manners or catching someone on a bad day is a bummer, and the "temperamental artist" archetype exists for a reason. Sure, it's ideal that someone you admire is nice to you should you ever interact, but a surly encounter would not cause me to write someone off completely. So, because of this, well, perhaps delusion, I was able to explain away certain statements, such as calling Chinese people a "subspecies" while addressing animal rights, because I knew of his history of exaggeration when trying to get his point across about that subject in particular, the one perhaps dearest to his heart. (And I won't pretend that white privilege didn't play a part; it's undoubtedly and shamefully easier to conveniently ignore something when you aren't the target.) This person's main place in my life thus far was almost as a therapist, so the possibility of him having anything other than the best of intentions seemed so unlikely. But the words became harder to parse, excuses harder to make. Playing the contrarian for the sake of it isn't helpful (or even entertaining) in times like these. You aren't at the Algonquin Round Table. You're courting Stormfronters. It's not funny or charming. I don't expect every artist I look up to (or even every friend or acquaintance in my life) to share my exact same views, but when your band wears T-shirts supporting the Black Panthers yet you voice your support for the likes of Nigel Farage, how does the cognitive dissonance not paralyze you? You change lyrics to songs to slam Trump, yet you basically share his views on immigration? You imply that a gay teenager -- arguably the demographic most deeply affected by your art -- is at fault for the predatory behavior of an adult? You've told anyone who will listen that you were raised on feminist literature, yet you claim the female victims of Harvey Weinstein -- a man who hired fuckin' BLACK OPS to spy on his accusers to make sure they never came forward, so calculated were his plans -- were just "disappointed" that their RAPES didn't result in career advancement?! WHO ARE YOU. Who is this person saying this? The very person who gave me the strength to stand against the establishment has become the establishment! The person whose voice soothed with empathy and compassion for outsiders like me has become someone I would have crossed the street to avoid. The bullied has become the bully. He has, for years now, exhibited the very closemindedness I thought he was trying to free us from. Is it just an inevitability that the spoils of success will change a person? If you isolate yourself and invite no one into your circle who will ever question you, is this the result? Contempt for the very people who supported you for so long? A quality I used to admire in Morrissey was his obstinance, but I've found as I've aged myself, standing by opinions for the sake of it, refusing to allow yourself to grow and change as more information becomes available, to never soften your heart and swallow your pride and apologize when you've realized you might have been wrong about something -- that's not admirable, that's cowardice. I appreciate it more when people admit they don't know enough about a subject to comment on it instead of making a statement just for attention. My heart is broken. The man I looked to as an oasis of sensitivity in a desert of toxicity seems, well, just plain mean and vengeful now. I refuse to be cynical, and I refuse to be someone who says, "That's what you get for having heroes." Perhaps the lesson here is just knowing when to let go. And that it was indeed the songs that saved my life, not the man.

Fifteen-year-old me in my bedroom.

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