#and also quinn and rachel treated her like shit and are both terrible a lot of the time so why should she have to date them

[autismtana]

.

[angelhummel]

Some unpopular opinions…please don’t block me.

- Sam was a terrible boyfriend to Mercedes, especially in S5B. They had chemistry but I wish he learned to treat her right and it stuck.

- Sam is praised for the bare minimum which puts me off him.

- Finn, Quinn, and Brittany have nice voices.

- I like Tartie more than Tike since we saw more of them and got to know their characters better. They’re one of my favourite endgame couples.

- S1 Finn was the best Finn. S4 Finn called a child a slur and beat up Brody, which soured him for me there. S1 Finn was horrible for calling Kurt a slur but I genuinely think he wanted to make amends and educate himself (until the next Slur Sunday comes around… 🙄)

- Carole deserves as much praise as Burt.

- Previously Unaired Christmas is the best episode in the entire show.

omg i started typing a response to this and i thought i saved it as a draft but i deleted it 💀 rip to me

+ Agree. Honestly I blame most of that on Sam's character assassination. Likeee he was chill and well meaning at first and then they kept bouncing him between Finn 2.0 and a total bonehead (so Finn 2.0) and it was upsetting. It is hard for me to get into Samcedes fr in canon bc of how weird their relationship canonically is

+ Agree. But then again the bare minimum is more than half the guys on the show did lol sooo... Take what we can get ig. Also see the above point

+ Agree. They simply wouldn't be on the show if they didn't sound nice lol

+ Hmmm idk. I do kind of hold that opinion and I just think Kenna has great chemistry together. Plus we got to see fuck all of Mike and Tina. But idk both boys rub me the wrong way more often than not and Tina deserved better than both of them. I was thinking before like at least Artina had more of a friendship?? But also Artie's whole "actually Tina you're McKinley's biggest bitch" hoo boy it pissed me off. But also Mike pulled that whole "Rachel is one of a kind" like bro defend your girlfriend what the fuuuu

+ First of all "the next slur sunday" had me fucking screeching laksjflksjfldksfjlskdafsad. I have to say s1 Finn is the best bc there is still a hope that he will actually get better. But then he just like. Doesn't. So that's fun

+ Actually I think Carole deserves more praise than Burt bc she had to raise Finn so she started out at a disadvantage. But fr tho I wish we saw SO much more of her getting to interact with Kurt. Even as much as Burt interacting with Finn

+ Well bestie I certainly can't agree w it being the best of the whole show but it was lots of fun. When I did my ranking it was 67 so kind of lower middle but still higher than a ton of shit bc at least it was fun. Plus elf costumes <3 Plus Pezberry obvi

whew okay i got through them all! thankfully none of these were a blockable offense. you survive to see another day on this blog uwu

[g0dblessthefandom]

Live! From New York -- A Brittana Fanfic (Part 3)

Look. Just look, okay? I can’t have a Glee fanfiction without a musical number. I’m pretty sure it’s required by law. Also, things are not always what they seem. remember that. Catch up here on Tumblr, on FF.net and AO3. 

‘You’re such a dork, Lopez’ Santana thought to herself, pushing herself to maintain her pace on the elliptical machine.

She had been working out for nearly an hour, but had yet to really get going. Cardio was pretty important for stage performances, and so Emma made sure that they had at least two hours for that a day. Santana liked working out anyway, so it wasn’t a problem, her colleagues however, tended to chafe at the directive a bit more.

For example, Mercedes was on a treadmill next to her, going at nearly the minimum speed, reading a script that someone had sent her. She tended to think that she did most of her exercising on stage, and didn’t really need to work beyond that. Mike Chang, one of the lead male characters, and head of the ensemble dancers, felt he’d done enough, and was lounging on a weight bench nearby, flipping through the channels on the TV. Rachel had declined to join them, she usually chose to work out in her own personal gym because of her “particular sensitivities to unpleasant odors’. Normally Santana would have argued, but it meant not having Rachel around for a few hours, so she was all for it.

Today, she was going at full tilt, desperate to do something with her mind and body that didn’t include worrying about hosting Saturday Night Live, and that day was fast approaching. Her agent had spent the better part of the last weekend (on Emma’s direction) making sure that this engagement would in no way affect her Broadway performance, and then convincing Emma (on Santana’s direction) to give her an entire week off from the show. This had been less successful, and Santana was looking at five full days off (her longest vacation in a while) that would take her from the end of the Wednesday matinee until Sunday, and then Monday she’d always had off.

And she would need it. The day of the host dinner had finally arrived, and she only had one more show, and then it was on to Saturday Night Live glory. In only a few short hours, she would be wining and dining with the cast that made her laugh every Saturday. She felt like she might vibrate right out of her skin, she was so excited, but she obviously couldn’t tell anybody that. She was Santana Lopez after all.

“All you’ve gotta do is play it cool. Don’t think about how this is all you’ve wanted since you were 16. They  should be happy to meet you! You’re Santana Lopez, Star of stage and the small screen. They’re going to be be eating out of your hand.”

Santana had been talking under her breath, but she heard a chuckle beside her.

“Giving yourself one of your patented Santana Lopez pep talks, huh? I remember that from opening night of West Side. I thought you were going to pass out.”

Santana laughed in spite of herself. Her very first show (one that Mercedes had worked on as well), was a roller coaster ride from funding to production. It was then that she found out how invaluable her working relationship with Quinn was, and how amazing a person like Emma could be when it came to keeping the trains running on time. As much as she bristled against the constant pull from the two of them, she had nothing but respect for their insights.

“Yeah, well, there’s nothing nearly that serious going on. That night was the start of my entire Broadway career. This is just another day.”

“Oh, you can fool everybody else, San, but you can’t fool me. I’ve known you too long for that.”

“Yeah, well, I mean, I guess I’m a little excited. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to lose it or anything, but yeah, I mean, it’ll be pretty cool.”

Mercedes laughed again. “Fine, I think that might be all I’m going to get from you.” She turned off the treadmill, folding up her magazine, and tucking it into her gym bag. “Well, I’m going to go get freshened up for the show, I’ll see you later?”

Santana nodded quickly, jumping down from her own machine. “I think I’ll head out too. There’s something about being the last in the gym that just makes it super creepy. I’d rather be in the theater all alone than here.”

“Well, that’s no surprise, you love that drafty old building, even though I’m always telling you that it’s awful.”

“Hey, the Edgar has personality! You don’t get that in a lot of the new places. Too slick.”

“Less ghosts, you mean.”

Mercedes dodged Santana’s swat, laughing.

“Don’t even joke about that, Mercedes! We do not need some vengeful spirit getting us into trouble. Especially when I’m about to start getting ready for SNL this week.”

Santana had just dropped her water bottle into her bag when the door to the gym slammed shut, startling her. She looked up and saw Rachel sprinting towards them.

“And just like that, the bad luck has started.”

Rachel gave Santana a look, but couldn’t wipe the worry from her brow. She held up her phone insistently.

“You don’t know how right you are, Santana. Look at this! As soon as I saw it, I had to get down here right away. I know how terrible the reception is, and I couldn’t risk a text.”

Santana peered closely, taking the phone from Rachel’s hands. “Berry, you’re freaking me out, okay? What the hell- Holy shit.”

Mercedes walked closer to them, while Santana stared at the phone screen intently.

Rachel could barely contain herself. “It’s Hapa. Blaine Anderson’s place? Apparently, last night it got shut down for a health code violation, and it’s expected to be closed until the end of the month!”

“Oh no, no, no, no.” Santana moaned, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. “This can’t be happening, this can’t be!”

“Well, maybe there’s something else to be done. Just go with your back up place.” Mercedes said, patting Santana gently on the shoulder.

Santana’s eyes went wide. “Back up place? I don’t have back up place.”

“Are you seriously telling me that as important as this whole thing is to you, you didn’t bother coming up with a Plan B?” Rachel asked.

“No, troll, I didn’t, and now isn’t really the time to rub it in my face.” Santana snapped.

“I get it Santana, but that was kind of a bad idea on your part.” Mercedes added. She rolled her eyes at Santana’s glare, and continued. “But, at this point, what can you do? So, what’s the plan?”

“I don’t know, ‘Cedes. There’s no way I’ll be able to get a reservation for like twenty five people at this point in the city at any kind of restaurant that actually is not terrible.”

Santana sank to the floor. “I think I’m going to throw up.”

“Okay, San, just breathe, just breathe. Put your head between your legs.” Rachel cooed, rubbing Santana’s back gently.

“What the hell am I going to do? This whole thing is ruined.” Santana could feel her voice hitch, but the feeling of helplessness was so deep in her chest, she couldn’t help it. She could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes, and a few dropped from her lashes before she could stop them.

There was a moment of hopeless desperation in the air, but after a moment, Mercedes spoke up excitedly.

“We don’t need a restaurant! We have a place that we can use.”

“What do you mean?” Santana sniffled.

“Remember I was telling you about the producer that I’m working with on my new album? Sugar Motta, you’ve heard of her, right?”

“Yeah, a little, Mercedes, but I hardly think this is the time to be name dropping-”

“No, no, Santana, she’s got this gorgeous place on the Upper West Side, and she says she never uses it, and it’s HUGE, and she said if I ever wanted to hang out there, or have friends over, just give her a call! And you should see it Santana, it’s like something out of MTV Cribs. It’s got this incredible foyer, and like a huge fish tank, and an amazing kitchen, and dining room, and even a room for karaoke!”

“Wait, I don’t get it-”

“What Mercedes is saying is that you can hold the dinner there, Santana.”

Santana brightened for a moment, but then faded again. “That’s a great idea, but I don’t have any food. What am I supposed to feed them? Take out?”

Rachel thought for a moment. “Well, unfortunately, I don’t think I can miss this afternoon’s show, otherwise I would treat you to one of my famous vegan masterpieces-”

“Pass.”

“Buuut, I happen to know a couple of people in the crew that can help you.”

-

“The Shining Twins?”

“Be nice, Santana.”

Madison and Mason were twins, and though they were always cheery and upbeat, there was definitely something a little unsettling about them, especially when they were finishing each other’s sentences. Mason was an understudy for one of the ensemble parts, and could sing and dance well enough. Meanwhile, when he wasn’t waiting in the wings, he was helping out Madison who was asn assistant to the lead tech on the production. It was a role with a little more respectability, and Madison seemed to thrive on the tiny bit of seniority that it gave her over her twin.

Luckily for Santana, she was just out of their earshot when she voiced her insult, and tried to put on her best smile as she approached.

“Just hear me out, Santana.” Rachel said, pulling her closer. Santana nodded and Rachel continued, gesturing towards both of the twins in turn.

“I was just talking to Madison and Mason the other day, and they explained that when they first finished high school, they had been exploring their love of fine dining. And that took them to South America for two years learning all about Chilean cuisine.”

Santana perked up. “Really?”

Madison nodded. “Yep, our mom is from Chile, and she taught us everything she knew. We don’t cook that much anymore, but we like to throw dinner parties from time to time, and we get rave reviews.”

“See? You could have them do the cooking, and it’ll be just like a restaurant. I already messaged them, and they said they’d be happy to do it, but they just have a few requests.”

Santana raised an eyebrow. “Such as?”

“Well,” Mason began. “I want to have at least ten shows in the next two months where I get to perform. Our parents are coming from back home, and I want them to see me actually singing and stuff.”

“And what else?”

“Speaking of parents, we’re going to need some tickets, four total, but for whatever shows we want.” Madison added.

“Is that it?” Santana said suspiciously.

“And one more thing.” Madison said sheepishly. “There’s this creepy tech who keeps cornering me, and asking to sniff my hair. I want him on a different schedule or something.”

Santana cocked her head. “That one doesn’t even need to be a request, consider it done.”

“What do you say?” Rachel asked. “I mean, it’s not like you have much of a choice.”

“I guess not.” Santana said with a sigh. “You two are in. Do you need anybody else, or anything else?”

Madison stuck out her hand to shake Santana’s, and shook her head with a smile. “Nope, Mason and I work best when it’s just the two of us. We will also need your credit card, for supplies, and the key of the place where we’re doing the cooking. What’s the budget?”

Santana didn’t hesitate. “It’s got a limit of twenty grand, but I doubt you’ll need that much. Go crazy. Within reason, of course. I’ll get the info about the place from Mercedes.”

“Sounds good to us.”

“And if you really manage to pull it off, I’ll give you twenty shows in four months, and ten tickets to use whenever you want.”

“Seriously?!?”

The twins nearly jumped up in excitement, and each shook Santana’s hand again. She took out her wallet, pulling out a heavy, black credit card, and pointed it at each of them seriously.

“I’m counting on you two. Don’t screw this up.”

They seemed to salute in unison, and Santana nearly did a double take.

“You can count on us boss!”

They took the card, and scuttled off, leaving Rachel and Santana in the hallway.

Santana sighed again. “Okay, now I’ve just got to explain why they’re not here to the rest of the tech staff.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll be alright. We’ve learned a valuable lesson here, Santana: never be without a Plan B!”

Santana smiled in spite of herself, putting an arm around Rachel’s shoulder.

“Yeah, dwarf, tell me about it.”

\

Brittany had to admit that the abrupt change in venue for Santana Lopez’s inaugural Host Dinner left her wondering about how good of an event this was going to be. But once she had gotten out of her Uber and in front of the building that housed the place, she was quickly gaining confidence.

The place was swanky.

She had ridden with Tina, since they had come from 30 Rock, and could hear a gasp from the other woman as they stepped onto the curb. She pulled down her skirt, and rearranged her jacket, smoothing out the sides.

“You really should stop fussing with that, you look awesome. I mean, literal smoke stack. If I were Santana Lopez, I would start humping you the moment you came through the door.” Tina offered.

Brittany ducked her head to hide the flash of color that flooded her cheeks, closing the car door behind Tina, and offering her arm. While Tina had chosen the tallest heels in her closet, Brittany had opted for the most contour hugging dress she had, paired with a cute half jacket and bright pink Vans. Her hair was curled, and piled in a messy bun on her head. She didn’t want to sound too full of herself, but she agreed with Tina. And, honestly, she’d dressed that way on purpose. She wasn’t necessarily trying to seduce Santana Lopez, but if she saw her and just happened to fall in love, all the better. It would just end up being a happy coincidence.

She approached the door with Tina on her arm, and smiled at the doorman who opened it wide.

“Wow, how’d you know we weren’t just some randos from the street.” Brittany said jokingly.

“Ms. Lopez gave us a detailed list of who to look out for, Ms. Pierce. Straight ahead to the elevator, and up to the penthouse. You’ll know where to go from there.”

Brittany smiled and waved goodbye, leading Tina through the halls.

“The penthouse, holy cow, Brit, this chick is loaded.” Tina said.

“I definitely don’t remember this from any of her interviews. I thought she still lived in the Bronx.”

“I guess she’s moving on up like the Jeffersons.”

They both laughed at that, but once they’d stepped out of the elevator to the penthouse, there really wasn’t else they found very funny. Whatever they were expecting, this wasn’t it. The place was less like an apartment, and more like a castle. Brittany didn’t think she’d ever seen so big a condo in all of New York City. Relaxing music wafted down from the built in sound system, and before they could even blink, there was a class of champagne in their hands. A rather pale young man with strikingly black hair smiled at them, and led them to another room.

“Welcome, Ms. Pierce, and Ms. Cohen-Chang. Ms. Lopez will be with you in just a minute, if you’ll have a seat in the drawing room.”

“Drawing room??” Tina mouthed to Brittany, behind the young man’s back.

Brittany just shrugged, and took a seat on one of the luxurious chairs, sitting primly on the edge.

The man left, and it was just the two of them, so Tina crossed the room, looking closely at the fish tank that seemed to take up most of the space.

“This is incredible. This tank has got to be like two stories high.”

Brittany only mumbled in reply. Her mind was already a few miles away, honestly. The invitation had said arrive at eight o’clock, but she had been worried about arriving on time, so she’d made Tina leave early, and now it was only seven forty-five, and they were the only ones there, and she hated it. If there was one thing Brittany couldn’t stand is when you’re trying to put the finishing touches on an event, and someone shows up early. It was like she was trying to come off as a gigantic dork to Santana.

She looked around the room, and while she had to admit there was definitely an air of impressiveness to it all, it really didn’t strike her as Santana Lopez. They’d never met, and Brittany never claimed to have any special insight into the woman, but she’d read more than enough interviews to have a distinct feeling of her personality, and the garish displays of wealth that were now surrounding her didn’t feel very authentic.

A few moments later, voices from the hallway came towards her, and she stood quickly to greet them.

“If you’ll just wait here, Ms. Lopez will be with you in a moment.”

The man from before led her castmates Alex and Mickey into the room, and Brittany gave them a quick hug before following him out into the hallway.

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

He turned and smiled. “Ah, that was my fault. I’m Mason, I work on Santana- I mean, Ms. Lopez’s show. I’m just helping out tonight.”

“That’s sweet of you. I was just wondering if you could point me in the direction of the little girl’s room.”

“Sure. It’s right around the corner, first door on the left. I’ll show you.” He went to walk down the hall, but the ding of the elevator indicated more visitors. “Sorry, do you think you can find it? I’m supposed to be showing people in.”

“No problem. I’m sure I can get there. Thanks!”

Mason scurried off and Brittany made her way down the hall. To be honest, she wasn’t at all sure that she could find the bathroom. She had a terrible sense of direction, and the place was huge after all. She turned around the corner that she was pretty sure Mason had indicated, and looked around carefully. There were several doors, and Brittany started opening them all. One seemed like a weird dining room, and she couldn’t resist going around to take a peek. There were several golden records hanging from the walls, and she just had to take a closer look.

She walked towards the records and frowned when she got up close. Instead of mentioning Santana Lopez and all the fantastic work she’d done on Billie the records seemed to be for someone named Sugar Motta. Brittany’s frowned deeper. She knew that name, but she couldn’t remember where. She went to reach for her phone, but cursed to herself remembering that she’d left it on the table beside the couch. She began walking, noting the titles on all of the records. Some of them she’d actually heard of before, they were dance and party songs that got a lot of radio play. But who was Sugar Motta to Santana Lopez? Maybe they lived together? Santana didn’t seem like the kind of person who needed a roommate.

Brittany shook herself. The thought had made her a little sad, and she’d had no right to be. She never even met Santana before to start being jealous of her hypothetical girlfriend. Suddenly, a commotion from a nearby door caught her attention. She walked slowly to the door, pushing it gently open a crack. Inside, a woman who looked almost exactly like Mason was putting the finishing touches on a plate. Beside her was a figure that Brittany would have known anywhere.

It was Santana Lopez.

She was standing near the plates, practically wringing the towel she held in her hands to shreds. Brittany smiled softly. At least she felt a little bit better knowing that Santana was as nervous as she was. She tuned in to what they were saying.

“Do you think this is enough, Madison? I can run to the shop down the street and see if they have any finger food or something.”

Madison laughed as she ladled some sauce onto one of the plates. “Nah, I think we’re good. I think you should go out there and meet with your guests, have a glass of wine or something. Relax. We’ve got it.”

“Relax? Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m practically freaking out. Mercedes said she was going to be here after the show was over, and I’m getting the feeling that she’s going to be late. Plus, Sugar’s fish tank is giving me the creeps. I couldn’t relax if I wanted to.”

“You’ve gotta do something, because you pacing back in the kitchen is not helping me finish any of this any faster.”

“Fine.” There was a bit of a whine in Santana’s voice, and Brittany smiled at the sound of it. “I’m going to go splash some cold water on my face, re-apply my foundation, and go kick some ass.”

“There you go! You’ve got it now. Break a leg.”

Brittany was happy Santana had found her confidence, but before she could make any significant decisions about her next move, she realized that Santana was marching towards her with confidence. She only had time to take one step back before her shoes snagged on the ornate Persian rug, and she tumbled ass over tea kettle to the floor.

“Oh my god, Brittany!” Santana yelled, rushing forward.

Brittany was fine, of course, one of the first things she’d learned when she’d studied dance was how to fall, but the familiarity with which Santana had said her name unsteadied her for a moment.

She stood up quickly sticking out her hand. “Santana Lopez, I presume?”

Santana’s smile was wide and tight, and Brittany was worried that she’d screwed up more than she thought, but Santana finally took her head, and shook it delicately.

“Hi, yes, hello. I’m Santana Lopez, and you’re Brittany Pierce, right? I, uh, I recognized you from the show. From Saturday Night Live, I mean, of course. Though, I’m sure you’ve been on other shows too.”

Santana felt the alarm rising in her chest more and more as she pumped Brittany’s  hand. At first she’d been startled. A little weirdness was fine when one was startled. But she felt herself babbling on and on, and she could feel her good first impression slipping away. Thankfully, Brittany disengaged her hand, and gestured towards the wall.

“I was just looking for the bathroom, and I noticed all these gold records. These are amazing!”

Grateful for the change in subject, Santana nodded happily in agreement.

“Yeah, they’re Sugar’s. Sugar Motta. She’s my friend Mercedes’ friend. Well, they’re not really friends, they just know each other. Sugar produced Mercedes last album.”

“Obviously!” Brittany said, smacking her hand to her forehead. “That’s where I know the name Sugar Motta! I just got Mercedes’ last album, and I was going over the production team. Not that I normally do that. I mean, I do normally do that because I’m into, like, knowing who all came together to make an album. Cause it’s really a team effort, you know?”

Brittany wished it were possible to take words that had already been spoken and stuff them back into her mouth. Her normal ability to speak casually with everyone (something that had come in really handy when Hillary Clinton had appeared on the show), seemed to be failing her at the moment, and she wasn’t sure why. It probably had something to do with the slinky  strapless dress that Santana was wearing. One that accentuated all of her best qualities and had a slit nearly up to her hip. Her hand had been straightened, and was curled off to one side, looping into the nape of her neck. Brittany felt her throat become dry all of a sudden, and she cleared it, desperate for something else to talk about.

She noted a flashing light out in the hallway, and pointed with purpose. “Hey, what’s that?” She grabbed Santana arm, and hurried out into the hall, towards the pulsating lights that were glinting off of a nearby wall.

For her part, Santana was just happy to be involved, and getting dragged around by one of her favorite (and let’s be honest, most attractive) SNL castmates was a dream come true. Santana was just figuring out Sugar’s place, herself, so their destination was as much a surprise to her as it was Brittany.

They stepped through the partially open door, and seemed to go to another world.

“It’s a karaoke room!” Brittany said in awe, doing a quick, graceful turn to take it all in. She spotted a console and ran over, pushing a few buttons before Santana had even fully taken it what was happening. “Oh my god, they have so many songs, we have got to do some!”

Santana hesitated. On one hand, she was already having more fun than she’d been having all night. The stress of throwing this party reminded her why she didn’t do it, and her idea of of a nice night out was taking a six pack of wine coolers to Mercedes’ place and watching Drag Race until they passed out on the couch. On the other hand, Mason had ducked in a little while ago and told her the guests were arriving in droves. She had a responsibility to meet them, didn’t she?

As if reading her mind, Brittany reached out a microphone to her, and smiled invitingly. “Don’t worry, we’ll do one song, and then head out. Just one, I promise.”

There was a strange touch of familiarity in her voice, though Brittany tried to hide it. It warmed Santana, and she found herself nodding and smiling before even giving it a second thought. She took the microphone, gripping it in her hand tightly. She felt as nervous as she’d been on opening night of her first high school performance. Like there was so much riding on this, and so much to lose, but also so much to gain. She was on the precipice of a great moment here, she could feel it, if only she could figure out the exact best way to land.

“I’ve found the perfect song, too!” Brittany said, snapping Santana back to reality.

The music started, and Santana could tear her eyes away from the way that Brittany moved.

Oh don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me

I said you're holding back

She said shut up and dance with me

Her voice started strong, and Santana smiled. She loved this song. She was finally able to pull herself out of the trance that she’d been in, and she did a little twirl herself, joining Brittany on the next lines.

This woman is my destiny

She said oh oh oh

Shut up and dance with me

Brittany reached out her hand, and Santana took it, dancing and swaying along with the music.

[carolrance]

I saw this thing. I’m answering this thing... even though nobody asked.

So, I saw someone answering this and thought it was sorta cool but I don’t think people will respond anymore so I’m just doing it myself. Self love, ya know.

Talk about the first ship you ever had. Uhhh… I can’t remember which came first Mulder & Scully or Usagi/Mamoru. (The latter being really icky to me now that I’m older, lol.) I think it was Mulder/Scully… I was in primary school for both of these so it’s confusing cos that was a really long time ago.

Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life. Mulder/Scully (The X Files). I honestly don’t really feel like “talking” about them cos I don’t think it’s very interesting. Also, I have no idea where to begin. Naomi/Emily (Skins) – I fucking can’t stand them now, to be completely honest. I actually sorta hate Emily. By they (and Skins in general) did have a rather huge impact on my life. Now, I feel like I should put Dany/Doreah but really I think more importantly in terms of my life, it would be Marissa/Alex from The O.C. Does that sound stupid? Maybe. But that pairing (as shitty as they treated Alex and the whole relationship by the end) had a fairly huge influence on me. I think it was my first femslash ship that I was totally open about. (I totally shipped Jo/Rachel (and Jo/Rachel/Paul) from S Club 7 (DON’T EVEN!) but back then I didn’t even think it was serious…even though I had a whole website about it, lmao.)

What’s your current OTP? Oh my… Dany/Doreah forever & Marg/Sansa (ASOIAF/GoT). Michelle/Naomi (Skins). Carol/Helen (Episodes). Amanda Rollins/Olivia Benson (SVU). (With a bit of Rollins/Lindsay on the side. SVU/Chicago PD). Niska/Astrid (Humans). … So… Like… A lot? A lot of old OTPs are still OTPs now? Bo/Lauren (Lost Girl). Meg/Veronica (Veronica Mars). Katniss/Johanna (THG). Lou/Tess (Lip Service). Quinn/Rachel (Unreal). Jessica Jones/Trish Walker (Jessica Jones). Virginia Johnson/Lillian DePaul (Masters of Sex)………I think even my few het ships I’m still not totally over (Chase/Cameron, Mulder/Scully, Martin/Sam, etc) but I mean, I don’t really care either.

What’s your current NOTP? Any of the above characters paired with men. Simple. I have a lot of nOTPs tbh. Most canon ships are NOTPs lmao. Although… I guess Patsy/Delia is a current NOTP of mine. Don’t shoot! I just don’t care for them. They are boring to me.

Do you have any poly ships? I was sorta into Marissa/Alex/Ryan (The O.C.). I started a fic about them. And the aforementioned Jo/Paul/Rachel.

How do you feel about love triangles? Lazy. The thing is, they’re a real thing. I’ve been a bunch and they’re just uncomfortable. No matter what, somebody gets hurt. I just feel like in TV/films they’re SO LAZY. An easy way to create drama for drama’s sake. And one faction of fandom is always upset. And usually they’re really shoddily designed so it’s like one girl, 2 boring ass boys fighting for her WHO WILL SHE CHOOSE?! BLAH……. Boring. “The triangle’s not a friendly shape, okay? It’s pointy. It’s got edges. Triangles hurt people, man.”

How do you feel about RPF? Nope. I’m a bit of a hypocrite cos I spent a great deal of time in my childhood sorta straddling the very thin line here with the whole S Club 7 thing. And, I’ll admit, I did enjoy this April Pearson/Lily Loveless fic once.

Have you ever shipped yourself with a character? No. Usually my favs feel a little too relatable which is why I’m attached to them, not cos I wanna bone them. Also, way too much drama. I mean, fictional characters are almost always exaggerated people.

Do you have many ships that never got together at all? All? LMAO. Okay, let’s see… Sam/Martin did, briefly (Fuck Without A Trace tbh. What a horrid little show.) Chase/Cameron were together and that ended badly as well. Carol/Helen, also ended horribly (so far). Mulder/Scully… that’s difficult. They’re difficult. Marissa/Alex, ended horribly. Naomi/Emily, technically… hmmm. Well, as of S4 they were back together but I didn’t buy it and I pretty much loathed Emily by that point so fuck em. That ended badly too. It ended horribly if you count S7–which I don’t cos I never watched it. If I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen. Bo/Lauren. Okay, this may be the only bright light in all my ships, lmao. They were together and then not, then together, then not, then END GAME. So, I guess the ones that never got together??? Basically just look above at my OTPs and see all the ones I didn’t mention here ending horribly lol.

Do you ship any characters that have never met? ONLY THE BEST ONE: MICHELLE/NAOMI.

Talk about your favorite first kiss. Like in canon onscreen? Or in my head? Big diff. Chase & Cameron maybe. I loved that episode. Mulder & Scully’s first (onscreen) kiss was a bit weird. I don’t remember Sam/Martin tbh. Hmm… Marissa/Alex was hella stilted and awkward prolly cos it was on FOX and like Mischa Barton is a terrible actress. Bo/Lauren’s first kiss was pretty good. Yeah, I really liked that one. Mostly cos it didn’t fade to black immediately (ahem, Carol/Helen) and it wasn’t set to ‘I Kissed A Girl’ (Naomi/Emily)… Okay, in fairness that was only the American version. The one I saw had Lily Allen playing instead… But still. I loved that episode but it wasn’t the best first kiss I’ve ever seen.

Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together? Yes, when they get together only to end even shittier. Which is basically all of them except Bo/Lauren.

Has a ship ever broken your heart? All of them. Canon and otherwise. My heart breaks on a regular basis.

How do you feel about will they/won’t they? Ugh. Useless. Generally, it’s queerbaiting when it’s my femslash OTPs. When it’s het, I’m just like, “As if these two lonely, outrageously attractive co-workers wouldn’t have banged already. Like, give me a break and just do it already. Who believes this shit?”

Have you ever “shipped at first sight”? Lemme think… Probably? I can’t actually recall any specifics however. Not Mulder/Scully, I know that. The first time I saw them, it was New Year’s Eve and I spent the entire show huddled on the sofa in my friend’s basement with her and her cousins, shaking and screaming, lmao. The X-Files really isn’t great TV for easily scared children with big imaginations, lbr.

Talk about a ship you initially disliked. One that I like now that I disliked previously? Erm. None. I don’t flipflop on ships, lbr. It goes like this: I am oblivious/indifferent to ship, depending. I see ship. I ship ship. I love ship. And it’s only then that this can diverge. Either I stay in love forever, or I end up positively hating the show/pairing and I stop shipping it, or it just kinda dies out over time. Normally it’s the first or second, rarely the third.

Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically. And now just ship them only as friends? Or stopped shipping them and dislike them now and don’t want to have anything to do with them? The latter is clearly Sam/Martin. I just hated how the characters were written and the show was fucking awful after S3. The former… Ah, the former. I think this really has to be Naomi/Emily. I am 1457% Naomi/Michelle, no alternatives accepted. Naomily is toxic imo. Like so incredibly nope. I am -100000% Naomily. I stopped shipping them mid-S4, probably during Katie’s episode. I was just like, “Nope, this is pretty gross and not healthy and what the fuck?!” I gave up completely at the finale when it was so fucking stupid. I think by then I’d already had my Michelle/Naomi dream… Anyway. Like, I literally cannot handle Naomi/Emily anymore. At most, I can deal with them as friends. But even then, sometimes I wonder if writing them that way in my fics is pandering in some sense. It’s not intentional pandering to Naomily stans… but, now I look back and wonder? They’re just so awful together romantically. I shudder.

Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship. Hmmm…. Carol/Helen in Griffith Park in 4x09 when she makes Carol give back her bra. That whole episode was really nasty and really awful and not funny at all. I really dislike the writing there. It was just… Helen was just disgusting really and it made me really uncomfortable about shipping it. I have other examples but it only asked for one.

Have you ever shipped something despite yourself? She-Ra and He-Man. I had no idea they were brother and sister when I was little but I thought they were cute together. Oops. It wasn’t until a few years back when I mentioned them at a party and everyone was like, “Errr, you do know they were twins, yeah?” NO. I DID NOT.

Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping. Carol/Helen. I feel like the few people that shipped it with me on tumblr here were really turned off by their breakup. And also, it’s been on hiatus forever. Also, I suppose Claire Dearing/Zara Young from Jurassic World, lmao.

Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against? Most het ones? Like, just… why would you be with that puffy wonderbread boy when you could be with this other hot lady and have 10003x times more chemistry and interestingness? (Like I mean, I’m totally talking about Erin Lindsay and that gay dude she’s fucking, when it would be so much better if she was with Rollins, lmao. You go watch the crossovers episodes and tell me I’m imagining that.) Other het ships, I have definite things against the men.

Which of your ships have the best chemistry? OH GOD. Now, ermmmm…. this depends almost exclusively on my own headcanon/bias so obvs others aren’t likely to agree. Cos, well, Michelle/Naomi have hella chemistry LMAO. Like just look at this photo. Clearly. Okay, seriously… Bo/Lauren. Like hands down, undoubtedly.

Which of your ships deserve better writing? Every single one of them. Especially Dany/Doreah lmao.

Do you mostly ship canon pairings? Clearly not.

Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar? Skins. Lost Girl. Actually, hmm. I saw gifs of LG but I guess it wasn’t until I saw Zoie Palmer at a film premiere I went to that I was like, “WHO IS THAT?!” And then I realised I had to start watching that programme.

Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to? Blonde/Brunette. Like, it’s really obvious. But not 100%. Otherwise, I don’t really see any substantial patterns.

Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life? Mulder/Scully.

Does shipping come easily to you? Neither here nor there. If it clicks, it clicks.

Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic? Most of the time. But then sometimes shipping gets in the way of my enjoyment cos it becomes all about the pairing.

Name a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships. Fortitude? Honestly… I don’t even know. I watch a bunch of TV I have no particular interest in shipping anybody. Oh! Here’s one NASHVILLE. I honestly do not care who’s with whom. It’s irrelevant.

Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love. Dany/Doreah – Doreah is alive. That’s it. That’s the headcanon. (And bonus, Dany takes Doreah to Lys and burns down the pleasure house Doreah was sold to as a child.) I have to add that most of my fav headcanons revolve around one half of my OTP still being alive. Which is both sad and really telling. (Like… Doreah, Margaery, Naomi, Meg, Marissa, Lillian… Ouch.)

Share five must-read fics. I’m trying really hard not to rec my own shit cos I just love my headcanons too much. Okay, here: They Will Crown You, They Will Take Your Legs by (Netgirl_y2k); tie your handlebars to the stars (and throw away the map) by (majesdane); my heart is gold and my hands are cold by (quinnking); If you’re gonna shoot me down, do it gently by (aphrodite_mine); I Can’t Get Out Of Love (a love i had a grip on; now it’s gripping me) by (doreah) hahahahahahahahaaaa i will do whatever i want when i want to force this pairing on everyone

Name your favorite fanartist(s). IDK??????????

Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP. Dany/Doreah: actually… oops. my fav fanmix for them is on my ipod and nowhere else lmao. it’s really good hahahah. anyway… um. so i’ll choose one that’s not mine: i’ll send a storm (most of mine are either doreah-specific or based on my fic which is a lot of headcanon and this one has excellent musical choices. that first track is killer.) Meg/Veronica: song of solomon (your poetry in motion) Chase/Cameron: i’m all second chances Michelle/Naomi: can’t get out of love Bo/Lauren:  it’s killing me, it’s killing you, a page from the book of my fantasy

Recommend 1-5 shipper blogs. Pass. I don’t even know any…

Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for you ships? Used to. Obvs.

Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP? Half of it not being dead.

Do you like and use ship names? I generally stay away from them unless I to find stuff/want people to find my stuff on tumblr. I find them cloying.

Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself? Hell no. Real life is difficult enough.

If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be? They would all be alive. Sensing a pattern? Also, being canon would be nice.

[autismtana]

santana lopez has adhd (part 2)

^the adhd/lesbian flags^

(*disclaimer: i have adhd myself and work in education/educational psychology, which is the basis of this post in which i get wayyyyy too analytical about a fictional character; however, i'm not a psychiatrist or doctor and am not qualified to diagnose real people with adhd or anything else ... seriously, our only representation is cis white boys whose adhd is an explanation for them being the class clown and treated as a joke so please don't get salty at me for claiming a fictional character that isn't a cis white boy as part of the adhd gang)

(credit to @dojasrivera on twitter for making the og adhd!santana thread; i unfortunately wasn’t able to see it as i only found out about it after their original twitter account got suspended but there may be some overlap between their thread and this post)

sup homies, as you know, tumblr cut me off so i had to make a part 2. (here's part 1)

ambitious but lacking in direction - noted terrible educator will schuester describes santana as being "unfocused" in 3x16.  she's indecisive about college in the latter half of season 3, initially says she wants to go then flip-flops, and then goes to louisville (fun fact: donovan mitchell also went there) for a short period of time then drops out.  after that she has a bunch of projects and career goals that never really go anywhere. (partially thanks to the lazy writing on the show)

fear of failure - santana wanted to go to new york after graduation but initially wanted to stay behind when she found out brittany wasn't graduating (like immediately), then chose to take the scholarship to louisville despite brittany and quinn both pointing out that she had the cash from her parents to pursue her dreams in new york (brittany was a lot more supportive and less judgy though). she did end up going after unpacking her anxiety around it with britt though.

low self-esteem, anxiety and/or depression - season 2 is what i like to refer to as "santana lopez's sad gay era", however i'd also argue that season 4 until mid season 5 (when she reunites with brittany) is kind of a low period for her as well.  the break-up is painful for both of them.  they're one another's safe people so when they don't have each other in close proximity, both of them experience depression.  i would also consider her demeanour at the beginning of 5x09 as an example of her exhibiting signs of depression. santana also experiences a lot of anxiety around her interpersonal relationships (pretty much all of season 2, 4x16, 5x09-5x13); in 5x18 it's very apparent that she's scarred by the experience with auditioning for rachel's understudy part and doesn't want to intrude on mercedes (thankfully, mercedes is awesome, we love mercedes jones here, themostrandomfandom does a great job of analysing this storyline here). it's also worth noting that despite how clumsily she goes about things, santana lopez is the most loyal, ride-or-die person on this damn show (she's definitely a gryffindor or hufflepuff who thinks she's a slytherin despite my less than positive thoughts on the transphobic lady's book series, or - in the context of the superior book series - a mary anne who thinks she’s a claudia) but the only acknowledgement she gets is shame, so she internalises it to give people an "out" ("I'm numb to people's feelings", "I have no heart").

can be easily distracted (while also hyperfocused on other things) - has a tendency to zone out of conversations (credit to @santanaslawyer on twitter) and couldn't remember her locker combo around brittany (although some of that could have also been santana being in her sad gay era and pining over britt)

narrow window of tolerance - santana was completely done with everyone's shit like all the time

strong sense of justice - homegirl uses her bitch powers to protect the people she cares about (see 2x17, 3x11, 5x18). other people aren't allowed to make fun of her mates, that's her job, dammit! she's also proactive in reporting mr schuester's lack of efficiency as a spanish teacher not because she dislikes him (which she doesn't; she might roll her eyes at him all the time but she does actually like him as a person) but because his teaching promotes offensive stereotypes, harms her and negatively affects everyone's education (and to her credit she is way more patient and charitable to him than he deserves when he literally chastises her in front of everyone for doing it). she will also challenge authority in situations where she is being held to a different standard to others. in 3x07, when figgins is considering suspending santana, she pushes back against it (rightfully so) because she doesn't understand how there isn't a zero-tolerance policy for violence when finn and puck get into it in the middle of school, or when the glee club get slushied, or when kurt is repeatedly physically assaulted by karofsky, but she slaps finn (after he outed her) and this policy suddenly exists. same applies in 3x13 when finn and rachel are allowed to have very graphic PDAs at school with no complaint from the authorities, but santana and brittany have one chaste peck and it's the end of the world, and she rightfully tells figgins that there's a double standard.

(really random) hyperfixations - it's a popular glee headcanon that santana spends a lot of time researching random shit on wikipedia (which she probably did the night before her wedding so she could explain to britt about the superstition around the bride/groom not seeing each other before the wedding) based on the absolute batshit cultural references she comes out with. she makes the most random cultural references (e.g. comparing rory to the great gazoo, which is a really random side-character from the flintstones), and has somewhat of a fascination with lizards (2x04, 2x12).  she also just randomly made an entire voodoo doll of rachel berry just for shits and giggles, like … wtf

lack of spatial awareness - so this one's mostly just naya rivera's physical comedy, but ... in the nicest possible way ... santana's a tad bit unco, isn't she? (see: her very charming wacky inflatable arm-waving tube person dancing in 3x08, the scene where she literally walks headfirst into a balloon in 3x22 and the scene in 5x17 where she gets attacked by pigeons).

hyperactive - santana's abuela put her in ballet classes because she was "such a tomboy and it really pissed [her] dad off"; obviously we know she had a mullet and dressed up as uncle jesse from full house for halloween (and she knows how to tie a tie, thanks again sarah) - those are obviously aesthetic things but "tomboy" can also be code for "hyperactive" in afab people (particularly if santana's grandmother was of the "children should be seen and not heard" generation).