#and also one of my clients is. so weird about her puppy

[girlhorse]

not shaming anyone whos had puppy blues bc this is a bit different and puppy blues are not shameful or wrong.. .but what tf is up with people who bring home like, an 8-10 week old puppy and within days get frustrated when the puppy does super normal puppy behaviors (crying a little; needing to pee often; teething). it seems to be more of a thing with people who have never had a dog or puppy before and somehow just thought puppies were like. images on google. idk its just weird to me, if you dont like crying puppies or arent prepared to potty train a dog then get an adult dog..

[kinda-super-hot]

I Want More. (3)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, more coming soon

Pairing: Harvey Specter x F!Lawyer!Reader - friends to enemies to lovers <3

Part 3 Summary: Y/n joins Mike and Harvey when they go to see a client. The client flirts with Y/n, and she makes the best of it, hopefully landing some clients. Harvey is not happy.

Warnings: Reflecting on past relationship, some yelling

Word Count: 2570

A/N: Thank ya'll so much for the support! The more you comment and like, the faster I write. Love ya'll enjoy!

I’m typing away an email when my intercom goes off. “(Y/n), Harvey needs you in his office.” Donna’s voice rings out and I feel nauseous.

               “Ok, thanks, Donna.” Wait. “Donna?”

               “What’s up?” She asks in a sing-song voice, and I can hear her fingers click-clacking against her keyboard.

               “How long has the intercom been on?” The click-clacking stops. I let out an incredulous laugh, “Have you been listening this whole time?” The intercom beeps and I know it’s been shut off, probably for the first time since I’ve been here.

               I smile and stand from my desk, throwing on the black blazer that was previously sitting on the back of my chair. There’s a pastel pink handkerchief tucked in the breast pocket that matches my blouse.. that also matches Harvey’s tie. What a weird coincidence.

               I walk the short distance from my office to Donna’s desk. “Good morning!” She hums all too happily at me. I give her a raised brow and cross my arms. “It’s nothing personal, I hear all around here. That’s why I’m so good at what I do. I’m Donna.” She flicks her hands in the air with flair.

               “Of course.” I smile at her mischievously. “If you hear all around here, Donna, what have people been saying about me?” I’ve been wondering, but had no way of finding out, until now.

               “Well, obviously I’ve heard the she’s smoking comment more times than I can count.” She laughs. “Louis thinks your one joke away from going to dinner with him.”

               “Shoot, I don’t want to give him the wrong impression.” I scold myself and bite my lip.

               “What, you don’t date anyone in the office?” She questions, but it’s off. Her tone, something about it… I lift my eyes to meet hers and she has a devious smile.

               “You know.” I exhale and lean on the desk. “God, does everyone know?!” I whisper yell at her. I do a quick scan of my surroundings, and I don’t see anyone looking. I hesitantly take a quick peek into Harvey’s office.

I pause my frantic behavior when I see him. He’s sitting at his desk on the phone and Mike is on the couch. I can tell he’s charming whoever is on the other side of the phone, because even though they can’t see him, he has his prince-like smile on him. My heart swells for him.

“That’s how I know,” Donna whispers in my ear. I jump, I didn’t even see her get up. She gives me a pointed look. “Yesterday, I saw you look at him when you two were first ‘meeting’” she gives air quotes, “and I could see the way you look at him. You couldn’t keep your eyes off-”

“His puppy dog eyes.” I cut her off, but my eyes are still strained on him. I have to tear my eyes away from him to bashfully look at Donna.

She nods with a smile, “The rest I’ve put together from bits and pieces of everyone’s conversations.” She shrugs cockily. “You know,” She stops herself; I can tell she’s debating whether or not to say what she’s about to say, “This isn’t my first time hearing about you.”

My heart flips. I want to question her further, and I’m about to until I smell expensive cologne and a familiar musk. I turn my head to see Harvey just leaving his office with Mike in tow. He sees me and smiles, trying to charm me. Oh god, he’s trying to play me!

Back in the day, I knew Harvey better than I knew myself. So now I know he’s trying to get back in my good graces, what I don’t know is his end goal.

“G’morning, Donna,” He greets Donna and then his eyes slowly trail to mine. “(Y/n).” He has a close-lipped smirk on his face, one he knew made my knees weak in law school. This may be harder than I thought.

I give him a polite nod but don’t give him any more attention. He may still give me butterflies, but I’m still pissed. I turn my attention to the younger man beside him. “Mike.” I greet him with a smile but there’s some tension exuding from me. I haven’t forgotten what he said to me the other day. “Y’know, our conversation the other day inspired me,” I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze it. “I think my next vacation might be in Paris…France.” I say bluntly and drop the smile I was faking as I side-eyed Harvey.

His eyes dart from my face to Mike accusingly. “Yeah, ha-ha,” Mike laughs nervously. “It’s a beautiful place. The architecture, the landscape-“

“The people?” I question in a demeaning way with a smile on my face. I see Harvey tense and he licks his lips. He’s uncomfortable. Good. Harvey’s hand goes to Mike’s back, and I can tell he’s probably giving him a hidden pinch. Ooh, I know that hurts.

There’s an awkward beat of silence. “Well.” Donna clears her throat, “You all should probably get going. Marshall is expecting you.” She urges.

“Ok, thank you, Donna.” I answer chipperly and turn in the direction of the elevators. In the reflection of one of the associate's monitors, I see Donna mouthing something demanding at Harvey. He mouths back something along the lines of ‘I know, I know!’.

I walk briskly to the elevators and press the button; I don’t even check if the boys are behind me. “So, where are we headed?” I ask, but I keep my head straight, facing the closed elevator doors.

They say nothing until I hear what I’m assuming is Mike giving Harvey a little arm shove. “Downtown-” Harvey starts, then clears his throat. I hear Mike stifle a chuckle. “-we’re meeting Donald Marshall. He’s the company lead for Shilton Suites.”

There’s a ding as the elevator doors open. I step onto the lift and stand close to the buttons. Both boys hesitate to enter. “Are you guys… coming?” They are being so awkward, ugh, boys.

Harvey shoves Mike into the elevator before him, he gets pushed into the wall. Harvey stands shoulder to shoulder with me. “How did you like your coffee?”

I think I’ve imagined his voice; he doesn’t move his torso to face me or even glance my way. I don’t answer right away, trying to process that Harvey is actually talking to me-not just a good morning. “It’s the best around.” He hums in a positive tone, and I see a small smile creep onto his face.

I hope he doesn’t think we’re going to be besties after apology coffee, but I might as well throw him a bone. “Louis wanted to go buy me one from Roaster Roos.”

“Roaster Roos?” Harvey finally turns his body to me and has an offended look on his face. My heart flutters and I wish I could beat it down with a hammer. “God, he has no idea what good coffee is.” He turns back to face the elevator doors, and I crave his gaze on me again.

I feel like I’m running out of time to talk to him away from prying eyes. The dinging of the elevator as we steadily drop feels like a doomsday clock. “He wants to take me to dinner.” I don’t know why I said that.

Harvey stops next to me, and I hear Mike’s strained breathing behind me. I forgot he was here. Once again, it’s quiet until he asks, “How would your boyfriend feel about that?” He’s playing the game- he wants to know if I’m seeing anybody. Touche Mr. Douchebag.

How do I tell him I’m single without being pathetic? “Let’s just say, Louis might have a fighting chance.” I shrug. “Why? Did Louis not ask you to dinner when you first came to the firm?” I tease with a smirk.

His demeanor changes and he has a playful smile on his face, just like the good old days. “Oh, please, Louis wishes he could handle all this.” He motions to himself. He still won’t look at me. I need him to look at me.

I smirk and eye him up and down till my gaze catches on his tie. It’s crooked, I notice. A quick fit of confidence comes over me and I reach for it. At first, both hands are on the knot, but then the other lays flat on his chest while the other straightens the tie out.

It’s just like it was in law school when I would get him ready for mock trials. Something so normal, so domestic, about fixing his tie. Finally, finally, he looks down at me. We’re all but inches apart. I look up into his dark eyes and I feel… odd. His warm breath fans my face and I have to force myself away.

Harvey’s eyes stay on me this time. I can sense Mike looking between the two of us and there’s another layer of awkwardness added to the lift again. “Sorry, I-”

“-Hate a crooked tie.” He finishes my sentence. Of course, he does. I can’t stop myself from looking up, and I know it’s a dumb thing to do before I even do it. Harvey is already looking down at me calmly with half-lidded eyes. I take a brisk look over the rest of his face (pause a little too long on his lips) and back up.

I move just a tad further away from him than I was when we first got in. What is wrong with me? I look towards the elevator buttons and keep my eyes strained there. My chest is rising up and down as I think about what I’ve done.

There’s a ding and the elevator doors open. I wait for him to step out so that I can collect myself, but he doesn’t budge. I side-eye him and motion towards the door, “Go ahead.”

I can feel him looking at me, “Ladies first.” He says and his voice makes my heart flutter. I look at him and he’s looking at me like I’m a sick dog on the side of the street that he feels bad for. I bite my cheek and step out.

The whole way to the meeting spot for the client, I’m a pace or two behind Harvey and Mike. Not just because they’re tall and have long legs, either. At one point, I could tell Harvey had slowed his walking pace so I wouldn’t be so far behind, but I resisted being any closer to him by slowing my pace as well.

I need to think. I’ve detested Harvey since we ‘broke up’, but I’m within his vicinity for TWO DAYS, and I can’t keep it in my pants! I watch his back as he walks and can picture the smooth skin beneath. That gets me thinking about his chest… the scratches I left on both… I shake my head, there is something seriously wrong with me.

We arrive at a parking garage and elevator up to the fifth floor. Luckily, this time I keep my mouth shut and my eyes far from his. The client is waiting for us on a fancy, cherry-red car.

“Harvey!” He shouts joyously. The guy is older with white hair, but he seems active and in good spirits. His gaze slides over to me and I feel like an object. My pace slows and I try to fade into the background despite his hungry eyes. “And who is this?” He looks his lips and I pray that it’s an unconscious habit.

“I’m Mike Ross.” Mike steps in the man’s line of sight. “I’m Harvey’s personal associate.” Thank God for Mike Ross.

But this guy’s determined. He nods boredly at Mike before motioning him to step to the side. Mike moves in stuttered motions and his eyes flicker between me and the client. I give him a face that says ‘What the fuck?’, and he gives me one back that says, ‘I don’t know!’

“You.” I look at the man and freeze. He smiles at me and goes back to leaning on his car, “What are you doing with this guy?” He nods his head to Harvey. I see his jaw clench out of the corner of my eye but otherwise doesn’t move a muscle. “With a face like yours, you could be on anyone’s arm.” The implication is clear.

Just as Harvey opens his mouth, I say, “He’s my boss.” I nod with a tight smile.

An idea floods into my brain and my previously uncomfortable posture straightens until it becomes arched. “Yep!” I pop my lips and sway my hips as I get closer to the car. “Until I get a client of my own, I’m gonna be stuck with this guy.” I point with my thumb to Harvey. “You wouldn’t know a guy who’d want to be my client… would you?” I bat my lashes down at him.

He's quiet for a second and I can feel him about to say something, but I want to make sure my answer is a yes. I slide onto the shiny hood of the car and partially lay on my hip. “Cool car by the way.” I bat my lashes once more, but now I’m looking up at him and I can tell he’s hooked.

“Love, I’m sure people would get in legal trouble just to work with you.” He flirts and scoots closer to me on the car. Play it cool.

“Y/n.” I hear Harvey’s stern voice behind me and slide off of the car.

The rest of the meeting goes without a hitch. The client, Donald Marshall, would occasionally throw in the flirty comment or look but Harvey would quickly interject. As soon as we got what we needed we headed out of the lot… Not fast enough to prevent Mr. Marshall from kissing my hand on the way out.

“What the hell was that?” Harvey asks as soon as we’re on the sidewalk. He puts his hands on his hips and appears to be fuming. “You’re gonna flirt with my client- in front of me? I should write you up.”

“Call it what you want, I’m going to have clients begging to have me represent them by the end of the week.” I pull out my cell to look up the nearest Ikea. I try to look unbothered, but my heart is racing.

“You can’t just flaunt yourself to get clients-“

I get in his face and shove my finger into his chest. “I can and I will do whatever I want to get me as far away from you as possible!” My words are laced with venom.

I hate him. Just because he still has those puppy dog eyes and sugary words doesn’t mean he didn’t lead me on and then tell me I was stupid to think there was something between us.

I breathe heavily and he does in return. There is fire in his eyes, and I don’t want him to look at me like that- but I know I’m looking at him the exact same way. “As soon as I get my first client I won’t have to look at your sorry face and I can pretend you’re not even there.” I turn on my heels to the street and raise my hand to signal a cab.

I am so over Harvey Specter.

Taglist: @technicallykawaiisoul @malfoys-demigod @notarobotipromise

If you want to be added, just let me know!

[iamthunderhearmehowl]

BG3 AU Circle of Decay: Dammon Headcannons

hey hi it's me, again, currently dying from food poisoning at 1am

So I was sitting in my office thinking about how much I love this Tiefling and I realized. . . . .as a character you probably never want to hear that from ANY writer, because that means you'll get emotional damage for breakfast.

🌟 These headcannons are for a BG3 AU called "Circle of Decay", all the content for this AU can be found here -> (Link)

General

So we all know that Dammon and Karlach are kind of an item/ its kind of like puppy love - that being said, I dont think the game eludes to it being more than that

BELIEVE ME I WANT THAT TO HAPPEN - ahem - but in this AU it does not happen

Karlach is so busy that Dammon is just doing his own thing and perfecting his craft - he's not the best blacksmith in Faerune for no reason, and while I'm sure he would wait on her - people just be on different paths, you know?

While his main shop is in Baulder's Gate - he will ocassionally go to the rebuilt town of what was once the shadowfell realm - to sell and work on more items

Since the town's form of payment is primarily services and goods and not money - he does get some pretty sweet kickbacks and of course clients who can pay will get their armor and weapons done at a faster rate

His blacksmithing there is not permenant - they just needed someone with services there every once in a while until the town could officially get their own. Think of it as his 2nd base, his vacation forge, 2nd store location if you will.

The Night They Met

When he met Faeryl - the man was like Oh Shit

The poor girl was half naked / covered in blood and hyperventaliting in the corner of his forge

"I'm so sorry. Please don't freak out. I didn't have anywhere else to hide and I don't want my father knowing. "

He asks her if he should grab the local healer and she quickly responds "No. Please don't. The locals already don't like me and they especially won't after this. I don't want to give my father anymore grief "

He brings her a blanket and a dish with warm water and a rag. He kindly asks if he can clean up the cuts and wounds on her back

As he wipes the blood off of her right shoulder he's almost taken aback - The Symbol of House Vandree is branded there in her skin.

"Please don't tell anyone" she's almost crying. He calms her down and assures he wont - perhaps he could walk her home.

"Where are you staying at? I could deliver you to your father"

"Oh. Yeah I'm staying at the old MoonRise Towers "

"Oh you and your father are staying with Halsin?"

"Uh haha technically? Halsin IS my father"

"Oh you must be one of the adopted children"

"I wish. I would've had a less traumatic childhood. Also, I'm 90 years old - so I'm not a child"

Dammon just looks at her for a second. His brain is malfunctioning. It's currently in the endless loading screen circle and playing weird dial up noises. "I didn't know Halsin had biological children"

"Yeah neither did he, nor I - Quiet frankly when that weird mummy said something I thought he was playing a joke"

"But. . . you're drow? Also you have the marking of House Vandree - one of their slaves?"

"Wow you look more confused and scared than I am, and I'm the one who just accidently murdered a family of deer. Look, It's a long, long story. I also hate to ask this - but I'm not too keen on heading back home and getting a lecture"

Dammon aggrees to let her stay for the rest of the evening - only walking her home after all the villager's had fallen alseep and gotten over the commotion of finding deer entrails near town

He does want an explanation of what all is going on if she's going to stay - so she spills everything.

He seems to be charmed by her - she's wrapped herself up in the blanket and has curled up on a cushion next to the fire. The cup of tea he's given her looks so large in her hands

Since that day - she visits him in the morning to bring him honey buns, cinnamon rolls, etc. More or less it's an excuse to see him.

Faeryl ends up visiting him in the middle of the night every so often when she can't sleep - he's normally up still working anyways

Emotional Damage Headcannons

Faeryl does NOT initally tell him that she's pregnant with is child - she's in disbelief. As far as she knew she couldn't conceive - Fey'ri are normally born when Sun Elves and Tieflings interbred.

As far as she knows she was Drow/Wood Elf - it never occured to her that she had Sun Elf in her blood, although she does have noble blood

One day he notices that Faeryl hasn't come to visit in about 2 days - which was unusual

He heads to Halsin's home to see if she's okay; Mol, Arabella, Halsin, and Greta are all in the kitchen looking STRESSED

They explain that Malice and Alistair came for her and took her back home to Menzobarranzan - forcefully - they fucking just kidnapped her and threatened to slaughter the whole town; she didn't have a choice

Halsin is pacing - worried, he explained that she can't hide her belly for long. It's already starting to show a little bit

Dammon is like "Um what?!"

Gretta sits him down at the table "She hasn't told you? She's carrying your babe."

If he were standing up his knees wouldve buckled and he wouldve hit the ground

The man wants to grab a sword and run towards the underdark - but Mol stops him and points out that hes NOT a fighter (MF ACT 2 WAS SO STRESSFUL BECAUSE HE KEPT WANTING TO JOIN IN ON THE FIGHTS AND HIS ASS KEPT DYING - I RELOADED LIKE 17 TIMES)

If House Vandree were to find out that they have a possible Fey'ri in their possession it's over - they're killing her and taking the babe. The child would be the perfect killing machine - Infernal Blood, Noble Blood, Magic Abilities

Eventually it plays out to where they do get a hold of Dammon and force him to forge Armor for House Vandree (for an upcoming war)

they only allow him to see Faeryl for a mere few minutes before they tear them apart

Anyways - that's all i have for tonight <3 I am currently in the process of writing some scripts to voice act so stay tuned for that.

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

You know what? I think for the first time…honestly maybe in my entire life…I am happy. Like, genuinely happy, content, satisfied.

I am not where I want to be, but I know I am making tangible progress towards it. Mentally, physically, financially.

My therapy sessions lately have gone from this jumbled mess of chaos and anxiety and tears to validating my own choices and feelings. I noticed it three sessions ago and she said she noticed it as well. She said I started the session out kind of asking for permission/validation for recent choices and that I just kept backing my own self up. I have not had this kind of confidence in myself since 2012.

I see several career/financial paths I could do. I am really enjoying doing Rover and still am hoping I gain repeat clientele. In the future, I can get my own pet sitting insurance and cut out the middle man of Rover. It’s exciting to think of this possibility because it’s joining my passion of dogs (that I forgot I had?!) with my independent work style. I make my own schedule, no one’s telling me what to do (other than owner instructions of course) and I’m getting to work with the best pups! I’d really like to market a little more towards basic training as well and include it as an add on.

I have an upcoming husky client who is a jumper. He gets really excited, jumps and jumps, and open mouth “bites.” The owner said he’s trained him from a puppy, but jumping is a pretty frustrating habit for visitors. I let him know I could work on the jumping while I’m there and I’m excited about that. I know a handful of ways to decrease it and just saw another method that I think I’m going to try on this husky since he’s super treat motivated.

Rover is also getting me moving around a lot more. Social work tends to be a pretty sedentary job, but I’m constantly moving when I have high energy dogs. So, I’ve also been losing weight and I feel good. Im outside a lot more and I have the benefit of walking with a dog. How fun!

Im not quite at the point where this could be a long term thing, I need to get more clients and especially dog walking clients. Im mainly doing overnight sits.

Another path I see is joining my masters degree and love of dogs together. This would be a super far out goal, but I could specialize in pet therapy. This was one of my initial goals in college. My academic advisor even suggested that I do some type of therapy work around animals. There was a vet hospital that took on interns in their pet bereavement department, but it was masters level only. So, it was literally grief therapy for pet owners that combined pet therapy (which by the way is human therapy using pets. Not therapy for the pets haha. I get weird looks when I say this sometimes).

There’s still the career paths I’ve been pursuing, but I’d only Been pursuing them because I just don’t know what else I’d do. I do like social work case management, but it’s an even lousier path in Florida than it was up north. I do like the idea of therapy, but it seems so boring to sit in an office all day talking to people.

There have been many times in my life where I was focused on animals, but it seemed too silly of a career thought to ever pursue. I didn’t want to be a vet and I didn’t want to put more money into school to be a vet tech when I was so close to my BSW (but I really did almost leave social work to pursue being a vet tech! But then my school said I could graduate in two more semesters so I let the idea go)

I was a dog walker short term between graduation and my first social work job. I didn’t promote myself anywhere tho or put any stock in it. I was training the family dog at home and helping my friend with training her dog. I began thinking about becoming a trainer. I’ve applied so many times to petsmart/petco for the dog trainer position but ultimately never pursued it and would lean harder into the social work jobs.

I do still feel a little silly being so optimistic about the pet sitting stuff because it’s not a typical route, but im seeing so many people thrive with it now. So many small businesses for pet care. I think I could do that. I think I’d love doing it.

I think i burned out from social work years ago. Maybe from the whole field. I think that part of me is tired. Which is hard to admit. Despite my best self care efforts, I’ve carried the burdens of my clients for the last 10 years. I still think about my first clients from 2014, wonder how they are, if they’re okay, if they’re still alive. Ive spent too many nights crying about my clients because I didn’t have a magic wand to make life easier for them. I’ve given my entire heart to the social work jobs I’ve had and the clients I’ve worked with. I’m tired. Empathy is such a gift And I know it’s my biggest strength, but maybe, at least for now until my heart heals, I can Channel my empathy towards animals again.

We’re finally putting money into savings despite Rover being a huge pay cut. It won’t be sustainable job once we move out, so I have from now until then to make something of it. M is so supportive of this and its helped me to believe in myself again 💚

Some of my recent furry friends. Also M and I celebrated one year of marriage with a training walk with Mel and a night out on the town 🥰

[vegacoyote]

I posted 8,501 times in 2022

That's 5,460 more posts than 2021!

11 posts created (0%)

8,490 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bunjywunjy

@swirlingflight

@stellarrrluna

@inktail

@proserpine-in-phases

I tagged 354 of my posts in 2022

#unreality - 27 posts

#goncharov - 14 posts

#tumblr classics - 14 posts

#nice - 3 posts

#freya - 3 posts

#borb - 3 posts

#nope - 2 posts

#ice pick joe - 2 posts

#youtube - 2 posts

#baby yoda - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#pump up its value by using your fox news bully pulpit to convince your gullible & insecure viewers that it’s the only thing with real value

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Currently am on the many sleeping drugs plus cold medicine and they are stirring my eyes around in a talky way so helllo how are you? I have been reading about komodo dragons with their heads in buckets and also people having hypothermia debated with the ice-water dunked and that all makes for a weird clacking noise in my stirry brain cocktail.

I appreciate the tungls yes I do. They keeps all my various ideations to a dull roar.

5 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#4

My dog is an underwear thief.

8 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

#3

15 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#2

Can we see the puppy

Yes, absolutely!

Here’s Freya milliseconds before realizing She’s Bored and It’s An Emergency

And here she is immediately after:

See the full post

32 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You know what I wanna see? A story about Gotham centered on, like, Gotham paramedics, social workers, legal aid & pro bono lawyers, stuff like that. Emergency services that aren’t the cops. People who help people past the point of ”OK who needs to get punched and/or arrested?”

Think of it, that shit would be wild. Like, how long does this city go between crises where entire city blocks get hit with aerosolized amphetamines? Someone has to deal with that shit.

Look, my sister’s a social worker, and she was telling me about this meme her coworkers found on facebook, some pro-cop bullshit where it was like, ”Well what if there’s some 200 pound naked guy running screaming down the street, you wanna send a social worker after that guy?” And every one of them was like, ”Uh. Yeah. That’s it, that’s the job.”

And like, not that the job doesn’t attract its share of bullies and abusers- I’ve been on the wrong end of shitty social workers before and it sucks- but at least it’s a profession that generally considers it a failure if the client ends up dead, injured, or in jail. At least there’s a potential there for stories that show the humanity of the people who would otherwise only show up to get rescued or have the crap beaten out of them.

Like. Tell us about a homeless shelter in Gotham. Tell us about a food kitchen. Who are the regulars there, and why? Who works there? What’s a day treatment meeting look like in a place where the supervillains cook up a new Crazy Debilitating Gas every week, some of which can fuck your shit up permanently?

What about people just trying to get to work in a situation like that? I bet after a while they just started selling gas masks at corner bodegas. (Probably mostly shitty ones.) Average Gotham Citizen has got to have so much PTSD about it.

I heard somewhere that DC has an editorial rule that goes, ”Gotham always gets worse,” and like. How can you hear that and not feel crushingly depressed? If you can’t tell a Batman story where Gotham gets better, where’s the space in there for hope? Isn’t that what escapist fantasy is supposed to be about? And ”Gotham never gets better” says the opposite of that, it says, ”There’s no escape, nothing gets better, let’s go watch some more civilians get blown up and then punch someone about it to show we care,” and that’s. Terrible. Like 40 cakes worth of terrible, OK?

318 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

(Year in review thing, couple days late.)

[talesofbirbal]

Brick House

Carol could tell a lot by the way a person entered a room. Liam, who had slipped in awkwardly and slyly through the door just now, fascinated her more than any other client she had come across for quite a while. Partly because, let's face it, she admitted to herself, he was drop-dead gorgeous, late twenties, with curly brown hair, bedazzling radioactive blue eyes, open friendly features and a masculine, thicc athletic physique she could not help but lust for. In another setting, she would have been tempted, she would have dared a move, but here, in this one, the ethics of counsellor-client relationships was a reality. Her attraction towards him could not enter the equation. Still, she consoled herself, she could listen to his slow, beautiful, haunting voice, and this she did.

"I've really taken in everything you said in our last session, and the previous sessions, it's so good, I appreciate it so much, I've really taken it on board," he said. "But it's not going away, instead it's getting more and more intense. Ever since I moved into my new place, Brick House, something crazy weird comes over me in the evenings and late at night. I get madly hungry, not normally hungry, I mean desperately hungry. And, like aroused, y'know. It feels like there is a presence coming over me, making this happen. Something that's not me, that's outside of me, completely outside of me. I try to resist, to say no, but then it feels so good, so addictive, and so it goes on. And I can't stop it, I don't know how to stop it."

"You said last time it felt to you like it was something supernatural, maybe something connected to Brick House."

"It does, it so absolutely does, but you must find that totally batshit crazy, right?"

"I'm not here to judge you or judge your perceptions or beliefs, Liam."

Liam, who had been staring at the floor, sucked in the cute little belly he was so self-conscious about, and looked up at Carol with puppy dog eyes.

"Let me say this, Liam," she continued. "I am no expert on the supernatural and that sort of thing, and have no firm or strong beliefs on it either way, if I'm honest, because it's simply not something I've encountered or delved into much. What I can say, as your counsellor, is I have talked to you over a number of sessions, and I feel you are basically, a very logical-thinking, rational person, who is self-questioning, and with a lot of self-insight. That's not to comment on whether this is something inside you, to do with emotions and psychology, or something outside you, something much harder to understand."

Liam nodded gratefully. I wish I could snog him, thought Carol.

"I feel we have explored the psychological side to this as much as we can, and I am not convinced I am really getting anything there," she continued. "That leaves....other aspects to this...aspects I am not sure I have the experience or knowledge to take on."

There was a pause.

"But I do know someone, someone very good, who I wonder might be able to help. He used to work as a counsellor, but not any more, he moved into IT. He is also something else, on the side, in his own time...he has psychic abilities, I believe, and I know he has investigated all manner of psychic phenomena, although he's not talked much to me about that because I'm a little bit squeamish about some of that stuff."

Carol handed Liam a card. "Sam Greenwood, Psychic Consultant", it read.

*

Liam did not know what to make of Sam Greenwood when he arrived at Brick House for the first time. A tall, shy, suited black dude in his early 40s, with deep brown eyes, oozing gentleness and compassion. Smolderingly hot as well, Liam thought, lasciviously catching a glimpse of his backside as he came in. That made it all the more difficult in some ways. How to confide to such a sexy guy about something so uncool and uncouth: his late night binges and the associated sexual arousal, feelings of guilt and sense of something unnatural gaining control of him.

"Carol, I understand with your permission, has acquainted me with the details of what has been going on," said Sam in his quiet, sweet-tempered voice. 

Ah yes, remembered Liam, I told her she could tell him about me. That saves me the embarrassment of explaining it all myself, then.

"If you do not mind," Sam continued, "I would like to take a short wander around your place by myself, just to pick up on the vibrations. Would you be comfortable with that."

Liam rapidly assented, and let Sam stroll around. This is so utterly wild, Liam thought. What would anyone else think if I told them everything that's going on in my life right now?

"It is as I thought that moment I first came in," Sam reported, coming back into the living room. Two presences. A thin man and a fat man. They cannot experience the pleasures of eating or drinking or sexual pleasures in the way you or I can, but they can experience them indirectly, vicariously as it were, through manipulating and drawing on your energies."

"Wow," said Liam.

"My intuition is telling me to search the loft, particularly the chimney area, above where your fireplace is. Could we go up there?"

"Sure, we can try," said Liam. Actually he had never been up there before.

Opening the loft hatch took quite some effort on Liam's part, and Sam could not help admiring his body as he struggled with it, arms flexing, brow sweating a little, the cutest rounding baby belly jutting out of his top. He longed to run his fingers along it and make some comment, but restrained himself. This is too serious for that, he thought.

Liam ascended the drop-down ladder into the loft, and Sam followed after him. In moments, even before Liam had managed to locate and flick on the lightswitch, Sam seemed to have found what he wanted. A box, right next to the outline in the wall of where the chimney stood. And in that, right at the top, a black and white photo.

"This is it," Sam announced. "This is what I was getting. This is them."

Liam looked at the photo. "They're both slim," he said. 

"I know," agreed Liam, "but I just know it, this is them. Maybe the bigger man was slim at the time of the photo, but gained weight later in life. Or maybe he was slim all through his life, but at some level wanted to be a bigger man, and this is why he is appearing to me that way."

*

Liam pondered what to make of Sam's visit. The man was deep, unlike anyone he had ever met before, make no mistake. And so, so, so goddamned sexy as well, he thought, although that in itself is not relevant here. Sam had been so meek, so quiet, and yet also so incredibly, sexily, self-assured about the task he was undertaking. The moment he came in the place, he said, he knew it was two men, one thin, one fat. Then he got hold of that photo, and knew exactly where to find it. The photo had not matched, it was two slim men. But Sam was not bothered by that, that's them, he'd insisted, so strongly. What to make of this? All so surreal. Was Sam a bluffer, a fake, or could this be the real thing?

Liam spotted Sandra in the neighbouring garden, clasped the black and white photo in his hand and rushed to greet her.

Sandra did not live nextdoor, but it was almost as though she did, she was there so much, as the carer and closest friend of the long-term 92 year old resident there, Denise. Liam had never seen much of Denise, but saw Sandra, a 71 year old lady herself, all the time, and considering the differences in age and background between them, they had struck up an unusually friendly, bantering relationship. Sandra was always fun. And she loved gossip. She knew everything.

"Sandra," said Liam, leaning over the garden fence with the photo, "guess what I found in the loft, I don't suppose you recognise these folks do you?"

Sandra, never one to pass up an opportunity like this, studied the old photo carefully. "Well, well, well!" she said. "I cannot say I recognise them myself, but Denise always talked about two men who used to live in your place. 'The gentlemen', she always used to call them, I wonder if that means they were gay, but I couldn't say for sure. She mentioned they were unusual. I could show this to her and ask her if you like, wouldn't that be interesting?"

Liam agreed to this proposal, eager to learn what would come of it. To his frustration, though, Sandra did not come back to him that evening. Denise had been too sleepy to be troubled, apparently. But the next evening, Sandra rushed to Liam's door, rapping on the door, all excited.

"I was right, I was right, it's them," she said. "Denise told me about them just now. Mr Galbraith and Mr Starr. 'The gentlemen', she calls them, 'always very private', she said. Into 'lots of funny stuff', she said, I think she meant the occult, but she wouldn't say more; I don't think she wanted to speak about it, and maybe she didn't know much about any of that anyway. They lived in your house from the early 1970s, she says, until just some years back. Then she says they 'just disappeared', and she's not heard of them or from them since."

"Were they both always slim, like they were in the photo I showed you?"

"What an odd question," said Sandra, but before she could ponder its oddness further, she dashed back indoors, then returned a few minutes later. 

"Yes, Denise says they were both always slim. But here is the interesting thing, she says there were always fat men visiting them. Young fat men, she says."

Liam thanked Denise for her help, exchanged a few more pleasantries, then headed back inside to consider things further. I must get back to Sam, he thought.

*

"I've been running this again and again through my mind, just like you," Sam told Liam down the phone. "I am so sorry for you, Liam, it's the very last thing you deserve or need, and I know this is putting so much stress on you."

"I really, really appreciate you so much for being here for me," said Liam, "it means so much."

Sam felt his heart melting, but knew he had to stay professional. "What I am going to suggest," he said, "is we do a ritual, to ask these spirits, or entities, or energies or whatever they might be, to depart in peace, to stop bothering you. Is that something you would be comfortable with?"

Liam readily agreed, and within thirty minutes, Liam and Sam were sat together cross-legged in the living room, surrounded by a circle of candles, Sam deep in meditation, intoning commands to whatever it was to leave and to seek healing. 

Sam put his arm around Liam's shoulder at the conclusion. "Let's hope this does the trick," he said, "but if there's anything else, you have my number."

*

As the evening grew later, Liam steeled himself again, as he had for so many nights now, to face the phenomena he knew was waiting for him. Or was it? Sam's ritual must have worked, he thought. This isn't going to happen this time. Think positive. Read a book, watch a film, anything. Act like normal. 

Yet it all started again, about 9.30pm, with this uneasy sensation there was something else in his space, and then this overwhelming hunger and horniness, combined together - "horngriness" he sometimes called it.

No, thought Liam, I must resist, I must be strong.

But it was too much, and soon he was gorging himself with cakes, biscuits, slices of bread, chocolates, anything he could find to hand, ravenously shovelling it all into his mouth. His cock was getting warmer, juicier, harder, spasming back and forth without him even touching it, as a plethora of erotic thoughts coasted into his mind. Oh no...oh no...oh no...how could this be? Sam, oh Sam, how can I be thinking of you in this way? This so embarrassing, and so wrong, but so fucking sexy, and oh fuck oh so fucking right! Oh Sam! Oh Sam!

Before Liam knew it, his balls were tingling and tightening and his dick was erupting cum like a fire hose, splashing onto his heaving belly, then shooting as far as his tits, then splattering onto his forehead, and then even onto the bedhead behind him. Fuck. He never used to cum anything like this before. Not since the beginning of...all of this.

*

"It happened again," Liam told Sam on the phone the next evening. "Don't worry, bud, I've got you," said Sam, and drove round as soon as he could.

Liam told Sam all of the details once he arrived, although leaving out the discomfiting bits about his fantasies for Sam. Sam listened carefully, sympathetically, but when he came to speak, the tone in his voice was firm:

"We will do the ritual again, but this time, and this is deadly important, you must say the words yourself, with me, not just me saying them like last time. We must not only say the words, we must think them, and mean them, absolutely bloody mean them, every word. I don't know how else to say this, Liam, and I know it must sound judgemental or harsh maybe, but when you ask this thing to go away, you must mean it with every ounce of your soul. If there is any part of you, even if it's subconscious, which wants this to continue, you have to reject that, reject it 100 percent. Do you get what I'm saying? When we do the ritual this time, we have to be absolutely telling it to leave, and not even one thousandth of a percent inviting it to say."

Liam considered Sam's words seriously, awkwardly. "I do want and need this to go," he said. "I suppose there could be parts of me which are attached to it, though, I guess. As I told you before, there is this intense sexual excitement element, which I don't understand. Plus it's part of my routine, my habits now. Every evening, about 9.30pm, this starts, y'know...?"

Sam gazed deep into Liam's eyes, put his hands on his shoulders and praised him for having the courage to talk about the challenges, but still warned him in no uncertain terms that unless he could get himself to a place mentally where he could unambiguously and without hesitation ask the presence to go, it would not go. 

"You've got this, Liam, you've got this," he encouraged.

"I can do it, let's do it," Liam confirmed, gesturing towards the candles.

Liam lit the candles surrounding them, and began the ritual, this time with both him and Liam intoning the words. When it was finished, the atmosphere in the room somehow felt different, clearer, fresher.

"Thank God, I think we've done it!" exclaimed Liam

"We did, we did it, dude!" congratulated Sam, and they both laughed and started to relax. Liam went to the fridge and came back with some beers, and they started to chat, about themselves, about all sorts of stuff. It was the first proper conversation they had had which had nothing to do with the strange goings-on. Their inhibitions slipped, they talked about previous partners and dates, they talked about the latest television shows and films, and which celebrities they fancied. They felt more and more drawn to each other, flirting with each other with little smiles and taps on the arm or legs or knee. 

Then something kicked in with Sam. I am meant to be here to support this guy, to help him with a problem, I can't get too close, I've got to stay focused, he thought. So he made his excuses and cut the evening short, to Liam's pained disappointment.

*

Less than 90 minutes later, Sam saw his mobile phone vibrating: it was Liam.

"Sam, I'm really, really sorry to do this and this is so embarrassing...but I don't know what to stay...that feeling, the presence...it's starting again."

Sam felt a rush of adrenaline, but kept his voice steady and calm. "It's okay, Liam, I've got you man, I'll be there soon as I can."

"We will do the ritual again," said Sam as he came in the door of Brick House, immediately rushing to the living room to start positioning the candles in a circle again, just like before. "You know I hate to be a bitch, but I've got to say this again: if there is any part of you that does not want this to stop, or is not sure you want this to stop, you've got to mentally chuck that out right now. We have got to have 1000% focus here. When we do the ritual, when we intone the words, we have to be thoroughly and unreservedly telling this thing to fuck right off, to fuck right out and then some, and leave you in peace. Are you getting me?"

"I know, I know," said Liam, then became emotional, tears streaming down his eyes. "I am so sorry, Sam, I'm so sorry, I'm trying but...it's not working!"

Sam embraced Liam, holding him tight, stroking his cheeks and wiping his tears with his fingers. "It's okay, Liam, it's okay. However long this takes, whatever we have to go through to sort it, I'm with you, every step of the way. Now look, do you want to talk through this? Could be better to do that before we start."

"Sam, I know this is so rotten of me and so stupid...I don't know how to say it."

"Hey, you can tell me anything, man," said Sam, clasping Liam's hands in his own.

"I think this thing is more of a hook, more addictive than I thought. The base pleasure of it, I mean, the food, the drink, the horniness - you would not fucking believe the orgasms."

"That's okay, that's okay..."

"And there is more than that."

"What?"

"It's you, Sam, I don't know how else to say it. There is a part of me that doesn't want this to end because I don't want you and me to end. I don't want to lose you, Sam. Now I know that's so unfair on you, so if you want to walk out that door..."

Sam held Liam firmly, tightly, and their faces pressed together, noses rubbing, lips touching. Then Sam stood back.

"Do you know, I owe you a confession," Sam said quietly. "I should have seen this earlier, but somehow I didn't, or I didn't want to, I don't know. But I've been exactly the same. I've been intoning this damned ritual, asking this thing to end, when all the time, in my heart, I'm not wanting it to end, because I'm not wanting my experience with you to be over. I've let you down, Liam. I'm sorry. You're deserving of better. If it hadn't been for me, I wonder if this might all have been over for you now."

They both began to cry, and hug, and for a while, kiss. Then Sam again turned to Liam with a serious face.

"This time we do the ritual, and we really mean it to go. We got it?"

"We got it," confirmed Liam, and Sam lit up all the candles, and they both intoned the mantra, asking, insisting, demanding the presence leave.

"I command these forces of gluttony and sexual stimulation and licentiousness to begone!" Sam whispered, at the conclusion of the ceremony, then turned to Liam.

"...but not yet," he finished, a look of frenzy in his face, and pulled Liam's top off, kissing his face passionately and uncontrollably, hands sprawling everywhere across Liam's body, devouring his luscious thicc build, fingers lingering on and plunging into the newly softened areas, his member pressing ever more vigorously against Liam's thigh, until before they knew it, they were rolling around ontop of and underneath each other, the lit candles surrounding them, totally forgetting the task they had come here to complete. The rest of the evening passed in a haze, and neither could remember all of it afterwards, except they had both stuffed themselves royally with everything they could find in the fridge and the cupboard, and they both orgasmed more times and more intensely than they had ever done before.

There was one detail, though, which Liam did remember vividly, and would never forget for the rest of his life. It was the moment before he lost consciousness and fell asleep. A glance at the bedroom mirror, the sight of Sam on top of him, ejaculating into him, and himself unleashing a cum fountain onto the sheets only moments later. Except the sight staring back at him was not himself and Sam, but two other men, two elderly men. The Mr Galbraith and Mr Starr from the old black and white photo. It was only a moment, a second or less, but he could swear it, he knew it.

When they awoke the next morning, there was not much time to discuss things as they both had work to go to, but Liam did raise the experience with the mirror, and saw Sam's alarmed expression when he told him.

"That mirror, it's a leverage, a power centre," Sam muttered agitatedly.

"What do you mean?" asked Liam.

Without even replying, Sam rushed to the mirror, took it off the wall and started running his hands along the back of it, peeling back parts of the cardboard backing.

"Hey, what're you doing?" demanded Liam.

"Here," said Sam, handing Liam the mirror.

Liam took the mirror from Sam and saw Sam was holding an old black and white photograph in his hand.

Mr Galbraith and Mr Starr, sat in the living room of Brick House, surrounded by a party of young chubby men.

"Don't be frightened, Liam," said Sam. "It's neutralised now, won't bother you again," he added, gesturing a sign of the cross over the photo. "Forget it now."

*

Over the next weeks, Liam and Sam drew closer and closer, until Sam had practically moved into Liam's place. Every evening, around 9.30pm, the same pattern would repeat itself, with them both becoming supremely hungry and horny, and they would stuff themselves and make out with each other all evening and all night, before collapsing in post-orgasmic stupor, waking in the morning with only vague reflections of the night before. They talked less and less about this as though it was a problem or in any way a supernatural occurrence. It was just something they tacitly accepted, as part of their lives, something they enjoyed, something they did in the evenings, like others watch Netflix or play cards.

Then one day something happened that shook Liam up and reawakened the fears he was having previously. He spotted a really good looking guy visiting nextdoor, and could not help but be nosey and ask Sandra who it was.

"Oh, that's Julian," she said. "He used to live in your place, before you arrived. Now let me tell you the strangest thing. When he arrived, he was really slim, just like he is now. While he was here, he got really big, you know."

"Big?" asked Liam.

"Just like you and your fellow," she replied, and Liam simulated a laugh, although he was feeling freaked. They often joked about each other's weight. So she means fat, thought Liam.

"And now he's returned to visit Denise, because they were friendly - there is some family connection between them although I can't remember what it is now."

"Is Julian still around?" asked Liam.

"No, only a brief visit, he's gone off to the other end of the country now," said Sandra. "But don't let that stop you chasing him, if you want me to get his number," she joked, and they both giggled again.

When Liam spoke to Sam later that day, he told him about Julian, and how Julian had apparently piled on weight whilst living at Brick House, then lost it after leaving.

"It's making me think about everything again," said Liam, "how weird it is, I have this feeling something's not right here."

"But think about it, Liam," protested Sam. "All that's happened is a guy we don't even know gained weight, then lost weight. I mean, that sort of thing happens all the time. You're safe with me, completely safe, nothing can hurt you, nothing has hurt or harmed you, after all. Nothing. You know that, right? Any problem here is just in our heads."

The conversation went back and forth, culminating in them both agreeing they would consult a friend of Sam's called Denzel, who Sam said was "very experienced, more experienced than me in all this sort of stuff."

*

Denzel came round to visit, a charming, precise, well-educated, well-spoken man with a clipped voice, carrying a briefcase and wearing a suit. Liam noticed how he and Sam seemed immediately comfortable with each other and to know each other well. Sam would later tell him about how they had both worked at an office together, and been the joint victim of a troublemaking colleague who resented black guys succeeding more than he did.

"Now this is how I see it," said Denzel after Liam and Sam had told him everything. "This is whatever you want it to be. If you are two guys being terrorised by spirits, it's that. If you are two guys in love, enjoying a harmless little private fetish, it's that. Choose."

"But how can we?" protested Liam. "I mean, if it's spirits, if it's the dark side, how can we change that?"

"By not fretting about it, by not fretting about it," replied Denzel. "I don't know that any of this is supernatural. But what I am telling you is that if it is, it is being caused by the angst, the conflict, the guilt-tripping you are putting on yourself. There aint no ghosts here, I can tell you that for absolute certain. If there was, I would sense it, see it. What there might be here is energies, phenomena coming out of your own pain, your own inner conflict. Now that I see all the time, not uncommon. I guarantee you though you aint got no ghosts, no human souls here."

"Thank you," said Sam. "You've given us a lot to think about."

"God bless you my friends," said Denzel, adding "And I must say you boys are looking mighty healthy", as he gently poked each of their bellies and smiled.

After Denzel left, Liam and Sam discussed things further.

"I have faith in Denzel," said Sam. "Yeah he's an odd guy, but when it comes to the other side, he's the best in the business. If he says there are no ghosts or spirits here, I believe him. He says if there is anything going on, it's only coming from our anxiety, so if we cut out the anxiety, it's gone."

"When you say 'our anxiety', you mean my anxiety, right? So it's all my fault?"

"No, no, no Liam," said Sam, holding his face close to his, "none of this is your fault at all, it's just one of those things, and I can tell you for a fact Denzel is right, this stuff is far more common than most people would think, normal practically."

They talked on and on, and Liam's sense of unease began to dissipate. Why fret and worry when we can just live our lives and have fun? he thought. Besides, life has never been more awesome, what with having Sam here, and the delights of late night snacks, and the unbelievably incredible breathless multiorgasmic sex every night.

*

The next months were more blissful than any Liam and Sam had experienced before. Their waistlines blew up, their tits ballooned, their asses and thighs swelled, and many of their gay friends looked askance about them, but they didn't care - well they more than didn't care, they loved it, they gloried in it, every little achievement, every little delicious humiliation. There came a day, though, when their anxieties, and especially Liam's, would come to the surface again.

Liam had left his key at home and locked himself out, leaving him to wait another hour until Sam's arrival. So he went over nextdoor, to pass the time. This was one of the rarer occasions when he got to meet Denise, the elderly lady resident, for himself, although Sandra was also there, bubbly as ever and chatting away.

For most of the visit, Denise remained silent, nodding away in the chair, but listening appreciatively and smiling or giving occasional glances of acknowledgement. Then, out of nowhere, she sat up straight in her chair, and began to talk:

"Mr Galbraith and Mr Starr came to visit me yesterday afternoon. It was so lovely and they were so funny."

"Don't be daft, Denise," waded in Sandra. "I was here all afternoon yesterday; they can't have been here at all."

"Oh, they did, they did, while you were in the kitchen, dear," continued Denise.

Sandra gave Liam a look, signalling her scepticism about what Denise was saying.

"They are both in a care home now, living together. Very limited mobility now, poor dears. They were telling me how they get to float around all night and all day, go to all sorts of places, to places they know, to places they don't know, all over the world. All these interesting people they are getting to see, to meet..."

And then, Denise seemed to be somewhere else, her eyes closing.

"Poor dear," Sandra whispered to Liam. "I think it's those tablets."

When Liam got to see Sam later that evening, he told him about what Denise had said.

"I suppose there are possibilities here," reflected Sam. "Could it be that these two elderly men, bored and maybe confused in their care home, are astral travelling around, causing weird stuff to happen, seeking out chaps to make plump? I don't know. I will think about it more and have a chat with Denzel."

"Don't you find it scary, Sam? What if these are fat fetishists, feeders or whatever we call them, doing stuff to guys to make them like this," he said, running his hands along his lover's now ample paunch.

"Do we really care?" asked Sam, and they both looked at each other, and started laughing.

"It's like what I said to you at the beginning, and what Denzel also explained to us. We have a choice here. If this is supernatural, and we want it to stop, all we gotta do is ask it to stop, properly ask it to stop, and it will stop. If it's doing no harm, if it's not bothering us, no need to worry."

*

About a week later, Sandra knocked on the door. "Denise is going on about the gentlemen again," she told Liam. "I said I'd ask if you could show her the photo again, as she'd really like to see it once more. Is that okay?"

"No problem," said Liam. "In actual fact, we found one other photo, so there are two photos with them in now," Liam added, remembering the photo Sam found behind the bedroom mirror. "Do you know what, tell Denise she can have them if she likes. She knew those people after all, and I expect they meant more to her than anything they do to us."

"Oh, that's so, so lovely of you, dear!" said Sandra. Liam retrieved and handed over the photos, with a sense of relief, hoping never to see them again.

Later that evening, Denise awoke from her nap, and Sandra pressed the two black and white photos into her lap.

"That's them, that's them, it's like yesterday!" said Denise, looking at the first photo, of Mr Galbraith and Mr Starr together.

"Yes, that's what you said when you saw that the first time," said Sandra.

"And this is them again, with their big young men," she said, turning to the second photo and chortling softly.

"Do you recognise any of them?"

"Yes, yes," said Denise. "That nice Liam and Sam from nextdoor, they're in here."

She's confused again, thought Sandra. That photo must be from the 1970s, before Liam and Sam were even born.

"They all look so happy together," said Denise.

"Yes, I'm sure they do."

"Those four all together, so nice, don't you think?"

"Yes, very lovely," said Sandra.

[doberbutts]

Can you maybe expand on training for invasive medical procedures. I’d love to work on this with my puppy, he’s great at basics but anything to make the vet an easier experience.

Oh, sure! It's called cooperative care, and basically if you've ever seen those videos of zookeepers asking their animals to perform a variety of "tricks" such as stretching out a leg or taking a weird and unnatural position and holding it there for a treat, you've seen cooperative care in action! These tricks are often things that the keepers will ask the animals to do while receiving vet care, grooming, and general health checkups because it's often better for the animal to be awake and present for the exam (not to mention any time an animal is under full sedation there is always a chance it won't wake back up) and also because this type of training provides a lot of enrichment and mental stimulation for the animal in question.

I teach all of my animals cooperative care- yes, even my reptiles! I can't reward them the way I can the dogs, but I can show them that I mean no harm and I simply want to check them over before returning them to their enclosures.

For the dogs, I pair any and all handling with a lot of praise and a lot of goodies. There are certain "checkpoint" areas that most vets and groomers will need to see or manipulate with a dog: ears, mouth, paws, armpits, stomach, and tail. Getting a dog to not only accept touching in these areas but also to offer these areas on a cue to be handled is key, so all of my dogs learn it very young and it's something I teach every client to do as well. I also teach a chin rest, where the dog puts their chin on my offered hand, and I can manipulate the dog's head from there. This is actually a key skill in competition when we talk about retrieves, so it accomplishes both for me. And I teach my dogs to accept uncomfortable body handling- they're taught to let me stretch their body in all sorts of ways, from me fully manipulating their legs to me bending their necks and tails backwards etc. This is actually due to training Creed for the AD, an endurance test intended for bitework dogs, because one of the main suggestions is to stretch your dog before a workout like that.

As a result, when it came time for my dogs to have a jugular blood draw, it was not only incredibly easy to get them to do it but also the techs remarked how they would be ideal dogs to learn off of because of how willing they were to assume the position and how still they stayed throughout the whole procedure, and that was when they were actively in distress because their guts were bleeding internally. For Sushi, because she's big, I had her sit between my legs as I was standing behind her, I asked for a chin rest, and then I slowly craned her head back until she was nose to the sky. I asked her to stay like that and she froze in place until the procedure was done. For the littles, they were on a table and a tech did similar with them, and similarly they either stood or say like that until the draw was complete.

I did similar with Creed as well, when he needed one.

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

What do you think everyone’s favourite animal is?

(Headcanon Masterlist) (Full Masterlist)

Hmm I've never really thought about it before, but let's have a go. Bear in mind none of this is based on facts or evidence, just my dumb brain😅

Merlin likes birds, and maybe that's ironic, but I feel like he's one of those people that birds just... land on; they're not scared of him at all. Robins, pigeons, crows, bigger things like ravens and hawks, they all just love him. And he loves them, maybe because he envies them a little bit? Everyone wants to know what it's like to fly, and birds just... do it, it's all they do. Once everything has settled and he goes out on dragon rides, with other people or not, he always makes Kilgharrah/Aithusa just glide around among the flocks of birds and it's his de-stress activity.

Arthur is a horse girl. No I will not elaborate.

I'm just kidding, of course I'll elaborate. He has a huge amount of respect for the horses he rides, he knows how hard they work, how brave they are, how hard it is to train them. He finds looking after them soothing, and he knows that if you respect a horse and treat it well, it will serve you well in return.

Gwaine came across river otters in his travels, and he never stops talking about how they're the coolest and cutest things he's ever seen (kinda like Merlin). Gwen sewed him an otter soft-toy she copied out of a book one year for his birthday and he almost cried. He just thinks they're neat.

I'm inclined to say that Percival is also a horse girl buuuuut. Man likes rats. He's a rat man. Or just rodents in general I guess, anytime the kitchens have a problem with mice they call Sir Percival in and he catches them and cleans them up and feeds them for a few days before taking them out into the meadows beyond the city walls to release them. It's always an emotional affair.

Leon is a dog person through and through!! Like birds are heavily pulled to Merlin, dogs are all over Leon. Maybe it's the shaggy hair, maybe it's the fact that he's basically a golden retriever in human form, but any and all dogs the gang come across IMMEDIATELY pull their owners over to play with Leon and the guy LOVES it. He looks after the hunting dogs even though he doesn’t have to, and the gang scrape together to get him a puppy one Christmas (they call it something stupid like Camelot, or Honour. Gwaine tries to call it Arthur the First (and better) but Lancelot said no) and he sobs.

Elyan likes snaaaaaakes. When travelling, he never stayed in one place too long except over winter, when he'd set up a temporary little forge in whatever village/town he found himself in. Or he'd help out at the local one in exchange for a bed. Either way he'd be holed up in a VERY warm building and they always had to be so careful because every pipe, every crate, every vent, every nook and cranny, would have sleepy little snakes in it if they weren't careful. He thinks they're really cool and clever and it also helps with intimidating arsehole clients if he has a snake coiled around his neck or wriggling in his hands.

Lancelot. Hmm. Yet another horse girl me thinks. But also cats. But the like... half feral outside cats that will occasionally wander into your home to sniff things and sit on things and generally be in the way, and then leave again. He's weirded out by them because they always seem like they know more than an animal should, but he thinks they're cool and regal looking. He nods respectfully at every cat he passes when with the others, but if unsupervised he will spend hours making smoochy smoochy noises to try and make friends with the local cats, all of whom completely ignore him.

Gaius also likes cats, but it's more of a respect thing? Cats know what they're about and they chase away rodents, that's all Gaius needs.

Gwen!!! Likes rabbits!!! Elyan's snakes always make her jump (she's not... scared of them, per se, but she's not overly fond) and Leon's dogs are just too... hyperactive, she can't be running around with a dog with the amount of fucking layers she has to wear as a woman. But bunnies are cute and fluffy and whenever Merlin finds one he always brings it to her for a quick snuggle before he takes it out into the fields again (how he keeps finding them in the city, Gwen has no clue).

Druids spend a lot of time in the woods, so I feel like Mordred has an adorable fascination with foxes or something. Urban foxes, the ones that sneak into the city at night to snatch babies and dig through rubbish, are horrible, but the timid country ones are amazing. So smart, and quiet, but they can get aggressive if you threaten their home. He just thinks they're really cool and he was bitterly disappointed to find that the ones that roam Camelot's cobbled streets after dark are... not friendly, they're just arseholes.

Homegirl Morgana like cats also, but house cats. You know, the really friendly, cuddly, affectionate ones. Cats kind of ignore Lancelot, despite his love, but they flock to Morgana no matter their original temperament. They're warm, and soft, but they have sharp claws, and Morgana appreciates that, especially when the cat Arthur snuck in to the castle for her when they were children would curl up on her pillow and purr when she had nightmares.

~

Behold!! My thoughts on something super random because you asked for it!!

Keep ‘em coming!!

(and if you send me romance/relationship based ones, give me a ship as well please, I don’t write reader inserts or anything close)

[buckys-black-dress]

inked

a/n: here she is!!! while i work on afl, here is my crackfic on tattoo artist bucky!! if u haven’t caught on yet, most of my writing is au’s because of all the possibilites in terms of scenarios and storylines. anyways, i hope you enjoy, lovies!!! xoxo, ali <3

wc: 2.8k 

[tattoo artist!bucky x fem!reader]

-

It was like an addiction. 

Your first tattoo you got was simple. It was a dainty, small one on your wrist.

But now, it was slowly developing into a sleeve.

Not that you minded, though. Your forearm was slowly becoming filled with designs that you kept going back and getting here and there.

And at the tattoo parlor near your apartment in Brooklyn, you had become a regular at this point.

It was called B&R Tattoo Shop, and it was run by two of the kindest, but most attractive men you’ve ever met. 

You’ve come to find out after getting to know the owners, that they opened the shop a bit after they returned from their second tour in the army and wanted to settle back in their hometown.  

Steve and James were hospitable to you, especially when they first met you. Steve was the one to meet you and speak with you at first, but he handed you off to James, or Bucky as he asked you to call him, because he was the artist at their shop that specialized in more of what you were looking for in terms of style. 

As far as first tattoo conversations go, you and Bucky got to know each other pretty well in one session. The tattoo itself took less than an hour, but it felt like Bucky was... prolonging it in a way, like he wanted to keep you there longer.

As you swung open the door of the shop, you were greeted by their piercer, Natasha. 

“Hey, back for another already?” She smirks from her spot behind the desk. While she wasn’t piercing, she usually worked the front if there was no one else free.

Your first tattoo had been done by Bucky, and you instantly fell in love.

With the tattoo. 

Well, Bucky too. Just a little bit.

He was extremely soothing and eased you into the process of tattooing you. He told you when something was going to happen, and as soon as you got used to the feeling of the needle against your skin. 

The more he talked to you, the less pain you felt. It was already not that painful, but you almost forgot about it with him talking to you. When he looked up to you as he finished, you looked like a confused puppy.

“Okay, all done, doll.” Bucky looked up at you, moving to turn off his machine.

“Oh... that was fast.” You furrowed your brows.

“Well, yeah, we moved pretty fast since it was a pretty small piece.” He explains, grabbing a paper towel and the anti-bacterial spray.

“Do you mind if I take a quick picture of it? I usually do, for my portfolio.” Bucky asks, inspecting the tattoo closely once again.

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine.” You wait for him to pull out his camera, take the picture, and he comes back with a piece of plastic film in his hand.

“Okay, so this saniderm has to stay on for about three days. This is how it’ll heal, and when you take it off just wash it up with a gentle soap and use a cream without any fragrance or any of that crap. I can give you a little of that spray if you wanna use it to clean it up if you ever feel like it’s dirty.” Bucky explains, giving you a mini bottle of the antibacterial spray.

“Thank you,” you say, moving to sit up in the chair. “How much do I owe you?”

“Uh, just about $40.” Bucky says without eye contact, heading to the computer at the front counter.

“$40? That’s it? When I signed the waiver it said the shop minimum was $75...?” You wonder out loud.

“Let’s just say you get a special discount, doll.” He smirks, typing something into the computer and only sparing you a glance.

“O-Oh. Alright.” You say sheepishly, handing him your credit card.

“Okay, you’re all set. Hopefully I’ll see you again soon.” He tells you with a gentle smile. It really contrasted his aura; a big, beefy guy with a metal prosthetic arm, covered in probably hundreds of tattoos. But here he was, smiling like sunshine.

“I think I will be. Have a nice day, Bucky.” 

“You too, sweetheart.” He gives you that smirk again, making you feel like you might actually pass out. And not because you just had a needle jabbed into your skin for almost an hour.

“Uh, I already talked to Bucky for my session today. I know I’m a bit early, I can wait if he’s still working on someone else.” You tell Natasha with a smile.

“Sure, let me get you your waiver.” She says, and you plop down into one of the chairs at the front and pulling out your book to pass time after filling out the form.

After a few minutes, Bucky emerges with a girl from his little tattooing corner.

You hear his voice first, looking up from the book while he talks to her.

“Okay, since this was your first piece and pretty small, I’ll only charge ya $55 for it, doll.” Bucky tells the girl with a smile, and you immediately feel a pang in your chest.

You didn’t want to say you were jealous, but goddamn it, your breathing became just a little more shallow at the sight you were currently witnessing.

Even Natasha and Steve turned their heads to him, confused looks on both of their faces.

“Oh! Y/N, you’re here! C’mon back, I’m sure Nat already set you up with your waiver.” You nod, not saying a word as you follow him to the familiar chair.

“So, are we still doing what we discussed on the phone?” Bucky asks, setting up his area to tattoo you.

“Actually, I was thinking something different.” You say sharply.

“Different?” The shock is evident on his features. 

“Yeah. Different. Just want a little something on my collarbone.” You say, sitting down. 

“O-Okay... what were you thinking of?” He asks, pulling out his sketchbook.

“I want an olive branch, going from here to here.” You show him where you want it to start and end. It was a bit of a stretch right across the left side of your chest. “Something simple and minimal. I’ve been thinking of starting the top of my sleeve, this might be a good way to transition into it.” You say nonchalantly.

“Uhm... alright. How does this look?” Bucky asks, showing you his sketch. “I would, of course, add more detail to your liking, just let me know.” 

“Yeah, I want some more shading, please.” You say shortly. You honestly weren’t trying to be mean, but you were irritated.

But in the end, you really had no right to be. 

After almost ten sessions with Bucky, he hasn’t made any indication that he likes you the way you like him.

Sure, he calls you pet names, but he does that to everyone. Even discounts. You weren’t special. He was just being nice and doing his job.

So honestly, you had to cut the act here.

“Are you sure this is what you want? Are you saving the other design for our next session?” Bucky asks, growing more and more concerned with your odd behavior. Usually you would talk to him about your day, how work was, really anything. 

“I don’t know. I think I might ask Steve to do that one instead.” You say out of spite, more than anything. You would never take a design that Bucky made specially for you to another person to tattoo on you, even if it was his own business partner.

“Wha- Why? Did I do something? You’ve been acting really weird today...” Bucky questions you carefully. “Talk to me, doll. Did you have a bad day at work?”

But that, that right there, was your breaking point. Doll. 

“No, I’m fine. Let’s just get this done.” You huff, laying down after nodding to the sketch that Bucky drew out. 

Bucky’s brows furrowed even further, but didn’t ask any more questions. He laid down the stencil and asked if the placement was alright. You looked in the mirror he handed you and nodded briefly. 

The entire time Bucky had the machine in his hand, neither of you spoke a word. He tried to make brief conversation, but you only responded with a hum or nod. 

When he finally finished up, you got up and headed to the counter without a word after looking at the finished tattoo in the mirror. 

Your face was blank, emotionless, and Bucky was truly lost. 

After you paid the full price of your piece, you walked out of the shop, not even sparing anyone a glance. 

Once you left, the shop was dead silent. Everyone either just finished up with a client or didn’t have any at the moment, and the shop was blanketed in an extremely uncomfortable silence.

“What the hell was that, man?” Sam’s voice broke the silence, making Bucky’s head snap towards him. 

“I-I... I have no idea. She was acting so...so weird today.” Bucky looked more confused than ever.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Natasha’s voice cuts through the palpable silence.

“Wh- What the hell did I do? I asked her too, and she didn’t give me an answer...” Bucky mumbles.

“Do you like her?” She fires back with a fire in her eyes.

“W-Well, yeah. She’s a regular.” Bucky answers, looking at his fiddling hands.

“Not like that, you dunce. You know what I mean, don’t act dumb.” Natasha rolls her eyes.

Bucky sighs, not making eye contact yet again.

“I-... I do like her.” He says. “But I don’t think she feels the same.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ... You really are a dumbass.” Sam sighs out.

Steve snorts at his words, nodding in agreement.

“Buck, she got jealous.” He explains, shaking his head at his best friend’s obliviousness.

“J-Jealous? Of what?” Bucky scoffs in shock.

“That girl you had right before her. Gave her a discount, called her pet names. The whole shabang.” Natasha points out to him. “Also, you gotta stop giving out discounts like that. You’ll lose more money than you’re makin’.” Natasha scoffs. 

“Wh- But... She never said anything...?” Bucky thinks back to all the times you’ve sat in his chair. You never made any indication that you were outwardly interested in him.

“I think she said enough today without actually saying much.” Steve laughs. His friend was a real idiot.

“I... But, why didn’t she say anything before?” Bucky asked.

“Buck, you never said anything either. I guess that when she heard you talk to that girl like that, she thought you really didn’t like her like that at all. You treated that girl the same way you treat her.” Natasha explains to Bucky, who had a look of realization on his face.

“But... I was just... being nice...” He says with his head in his hands. 

“Well, now she thinks you do that with all you clients, so...” Sam says, making the brunet’s head shoot up.

“Fuck. Fuck. I fucked up everything!” He exclaims. “I-I do like her!” 

“Well, don’t tell us that, tell her!” Sam shouts back to him, and before Bucky can process, he’s pulling out his phone and dialing your phone number.

“C’mon, pick up, pick up,” He mumbles repeatedly, but the call goes to voicemail. “Fuck.”

“Not pickin’ up?” Steve questions, coming to the front and picking up the shop phone. “Gimme her number, she’s doesn’t have to shop saved to her phone, right?” 

“No, I don’t think she does.” Bucky says, watching as Steve dials your number.

“Hello?” Your voice sounds annoyed as it filters through the phone. “Who’s this?” 

“Uh, Y/N! Hi!” Steve speaks, looking at Bucky in a panic, his facial expression screaming, ‘talk to her!’ 

“Steve? What’s up?” You ask, wondering what he needed. 

“You uhh... you forgot your book here!” He blurts out, trying to find an excuse, but quickly found one upon seeing your book resting on the seat where you were waiting. 

“O-Oh... I guess I’ll just turn around. I’ll be there in a few. Thanks, Steve.” You say, ready to hang up.

“O-Okay. Bye, Y/N.” He clears his throat, hanging up. “You have like, ten minutes to get your shit together and talk to her when she gets here. Good luck.” Steve pats Bucky on the shoulder, ready to haul Natasha and Sam to the back to give you two some privacy.

Bucky thought that this was the longest ten minutes of his life, and he was trying to conjure up a speech in his head to confess to you.

Finally, when you did appear through the doors, you looked lost. You only saw Bucky, which made you even more aggravated from the fact that you had to turn back around.

You were ready to head home and wallow in peace, but alas, you wanted your book. 

Bucky just watched as you picked up the book from his grasp across the desk, your eyes not meeting his while he kept his gaze on you very intently. 

Just as you turned around to leave, Bucky’s voice cut through the unbearable silence.

“Y/N?” He simply asks, and you feel like the wind’s been knocked out of your lungs at the sound of his small voice. This wasn’t the Bucky you knew and... loved.

“Yes, James?” You simply respond, and Bucky cringes at the sound of his first name being used. 

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

“...Why? Is everything alright?” And although your voice didn’t give it away, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. Any possible scenario popped into your head. He has a girlfriend. He’s gonna tell you he doesn’t wanna see you anymore. He-

“E-Everything’s fine, doll. Just wanted to tell you that... That I...” Bucky’s voice sounded strained, like there was something caught in his throat.

“Bucky, just spit it out.” You say, wanting to leave already.

“It’s just- I like you. A lot. And I’m so sorry for earlier with that other client. I was just trying to be nice, but I realized how that looked to you, and I never thought anything of it because I didn’t know if you liked me back or-” Bucky was rambling, and your eyes were wide as saucers.

“Bucky, Bucky stop. Let me talk before you drive your own head in with conclusions,” you say, resting your hand on top of his on the desk.

“I like you a lot, too. I didn’t think you like me either because of that girl before me. You just- you treated her the same way you treated me, and I got jealous. I know I didn’t have the right to be, but it just made me think that... that you didn’t feel the same way about me, that I was just another client to you. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions, and also for being kind of a bitch to you...” Now you were the one rambling, your hands flying all over the place in explanation.

“D-Doll, I never wanted to make you feel that way. I’m sorry, too. I should’ve told you before, before I almost blew everything with you that we’ve been building these past months.” He says placing one large tattooed hand and one metal hand on the sides of your face. “But I’m not gonna miss my chance again. Y/N, would you like to go on a date with me?”

“I-I would love to, Bucky. Took you long enough to ask me.” You giggle, holding onto the hands on your face.

“Yeah, well, I’m kind of an idiot, if you haven’t already noticed.” He laughs, gazing into your eyes with a look that almost turned you to mush in his hands. 

“Do... do ya wanna go now?” You ask, nodding your head to the door.

“Sure, let me go grab my jacket from the back.” He tells you, and you nod, watching as he keeps his eyes on you until he disappears to the back.

“My man, who would’ve thought you’d finally man up?” Sam ridicules him as soon as Bucky appears.

“Dude, shut up. I got a date to get to, see you losers later.” He rolls his eyes, moving back out where you’re smiling at him.

“Ready, angel?” Bucky asks, slipping his hand into yours.

“Ready, handsome.” You reply, and as soon as you step out into the fall air, you plant a kiss on his cheek. “Where to, lover boy?”

[ravenluvsppnbc]

Tattoo parlor au

thanks for the request! i hope this is suffice. <3

Chloe woke up on Tuesday, nerves filling her body. The sun had just risen. The birds were chirping and flying around in circles through the sky. Chloe’s alarm had woken her at eight. She took a cold shower, wishing not to waste the hot water, and was drinking a warm latte just ten minutes after. She watched the morning news, mumbling curses at the political pieces. By the time she was dressed, the news was playing a puppy segment. She smiled, switching off the television when it was done. She left the apartment by ten.

The redhead walked down the street to meet her two best friends. Aubrey and Amy were standing on the block corner, waving obnoxiously. Today was the day Chloe had been waiting for with nerve. It was also the day Aubrey had been dreading. Amy was very excited. They would be getting tattoos. Matching tattoos. The three girls had become a “groupe de trois” in college when they joined an a cappella group. Chloe and Aubrey were already years into college when freshman Amy met them.

They decided to get matching tattoos weeks ago. Today was finally the day. Aubrey leads the others to her car, which she had parked in a carpark an hour prior. The girls laughed, driving to the only tattoo parlor that Aubrey had approved. Aubrey could be a bit picky, but it balanced out Chloe’s open mindedness and Amy’s boldness. The three pulled into the lot at 11:50, which Chloe thought was perfect. Aubrey thought that they were late. Their appointment was at noon.

Chloe’s boot clomped against the ground as they entered the shop. Aubrey was taken aback by the soft rock that filled her ears as the door shut behind them. A little man with long hair peeked his head over the desk. He had a sleeve of skulls, and a nose ring. Amy walked closer to the desk and said, “Hi, we’re here for some tats.”

“Did you have an appointment already?” Little man asks.

“Yeah. We’re supposed to be scheduled for noon.” Aubrey chimes in, stepping closer to the desk.

“Alright perfect. Uh Beca is just finishing up with somebody at the moment and then Jackson is just hanging out in the back. We’ll get going in a minute.” The man said, standing up and walking back.

A guy, who Chloe assumes is Jackson, walks to the front desk and takes Aubrey to the back. Chloe and Amy stand at the front, listening to the music. A brown-haired woman in a leather jacket and doc martens walks out of a curtain with front desk man and another guy in a black tank top. Chloe can’t stop staring at this woman, who she assumes just got a tattoo. Only now, Chloe realizes, the woman jumps behind the front desk and looks at the computer. Amy walks to the back with the small man, waving.

“You’re also getting one?” The woman asks, making eye contact with Chloe.

“Yeah.” Chloe mumbles bashfully, as the other woman scans her body.

“Alright, I’m Beca” The woman says, grabbing Chloe’s hand, “Come on then.”

Beca leads Chloe to the back of the tattoo shop where theres a black curtain hanging from the ceiling. She helps Chloe into the chair. Chloe scans the space. Beca has band posters on the walls, a record player in the corner. “OO Oasis,” Chloe says, pointing to the wall, “I love them.”

“Yeah,” Beca says, sitting down on a chair, getting out a tattoo gun and ink. She spins her chair towards Chloe with a smirk. “So are you gonna tell me what your name is?”

“Oh, sorry. Just nervous that’s all. Uh. I’m Chloe.”

Beca smiles. “Don’t be too nervous,” she says, turning around to prepare the equipment, “You’re really pretty, whatever you get is gonna look dope.” Chloe smiles, blushing.

After a moment of silence, Beca speaks up again, brushing the previous comment off of her shoulder. “So what were we thinking of getting?”

“Oh I’m thinking something simple. I want it to say, ‘Bella’ and then I want to put a burrito next to it.” Chloe says.

“Well I do hope that you and Bella stay together for awhile. This one might be a little hard to explain.” Beca says, letting out a chuckle.

“Oh it’s not a relationship tattoo-”

“Oh I’m sorry. I totally just-”

“No it’s cool. It makes sense that you’d think that,” Chloe says, giggling. “My friends and I met in college. We were in an a cappella group called ‘The Bellas’ and then a guy threw a big ass burrito on one of them. So. That’s what that is.”

“So,” Beca says, sitting back down, “No burrito-obsessed girlfriend named Bella?”

“Nah.”

After a few more minutes of silence, Beca turns to Chloe to show her some sample stencils. Chloe really likes all of them, even though it is very hard to take a burrito seriously. Chloe points to the one on the left, and Beca tosses the other one onto the table. “So where do you want this thing?”

“Well I don’t really know. I was thinking maybe my shoulder. I don’t know where they’re getting theirs.”

“Shoulder sounds good. I can put a stencil there so you can see what it looks like.” Beca says, printing a second stencil. “Which arm?”

Chloe points to her left. “Do you want me to move my shirt?” She says, nervously fumbling with the hem of her sweater.

“Only if you’re comfy with it, but I don’t know how great I can do it through this. It is recommended.” Beca jokes, before Chloe pulls her top off entirely. Beca gasps, her eyes lingering on Chloe’s toned abs. Beca curses herself. She shouldn’t be flirting with a client.

Beca places the stencil onto Chloe’s left shoulder, and grabs the mirror to show her. “That looks great.”

“Alright, then we can get going. Do you want some tunes? I have a record player back here, you can pick something. But beware. It sounds super hipster coming outta that thing.” Beca says, pulling Chloe in the direction of the record player. Chloe picked Nirvana.

“Good choice.”

Chloe’s eyes follow Beca as the brunette went to the sink to wash her hands. She throws her leather jacket to the chair next to her, revealing a sleeve of patchwork. “Oo. Did you do those yourself? I love that.”

“Some of them,” Beca says, wheeling a cart over to the chair, “What’s your favorite?”

“I like this one,” Chloe says, pointing to a skull with Hozier lyrics next to it.

“Yeah I did that one. I like the skull, but the song isn’t as meaningful as it was when I did it.” She explains, chuckling. “Don’t do song lyrics.”

“Noted.” Chloe mumbles.

“Ready?” Beca says, hooking up the machine.

“Yeah.” Chloe says, exhaling.

Beca reaches for Chloe’s arm, and grabs the machine. Chloe scans over Beca’s sleeve, looking at each tattoo. After a few minutes, Chloe mumbles, “Shit.”

Beca immediately takes the needle away, and sits back in her chair. “Everything okay?” She asks quickly.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about something. Didn’t mean to spook you or anything. It’s all good.”

“Alright.” Beca says, moving back towards the redhead. She continues tattooing, looking up at Chloe each time she felt her tense up. At one point, the redhead moved Beca’s hair out of her face. Beca swears that she saw Chloe bite her lip. The brunette blushed and continued working on Chloe’s arm. Chloe knew what she was doing, and she liked it.

“Okay, I’ll get started on the burrito now. Just to be clear—you wanted a line drawing? Like not shaded in?” Beca asked, moving the needle away from Chloe’s arm.

“Yeah that sounds perfect.” Chloe said.

After a few more minutes of tattooing, Beca tilted her head to the side, running the needle along Chloe’s shoulder. Chloe caught a whiff of Beca’s perfume. She was intoxicated by it. The slight woodsy scent, but not campfire. The sweet scent made Chloe’s mind wander. “Oh my god. What perfume are you wearing? I literally. Like. I just want to keep smelling you. That sounds weird. What is it?” Chloe said, stuttering over almost all of her words.

“Well. Thanks. It’s ‘Sappho’ by Lush. All the girls love it.” Beca said with a wink.

“So that’s the goal?”

“Not always, but it’s appreciated.” Beca flirts, smiling, wiping a towel over Chloe’s shoulder.

“Do you flirt with all of your clients?”

“No. I’m really not supposed to. But you’re making it a little hard at the moment.” Beca says, blushing as she cleans up the cart.

“Oh. Sorry.” Chloe says, feeling a little ashamed.

“Don’t be sorry. I like it,” Beca flirts, writing on a few papers. “Here’s your guide to having a tattoo. Basically what you should and shouldn’t do. And something you should do—uh. My number. It’s in there. I don’t know what you’re into but I’d love to take you out.”

“I’ll definitely call you.” Chloe says, leaving the space.

She meets Amy and Aubrey back at the front, where they compare tattoos and pay. Chloe leaves a nice tip. She makes eye contact with Beca, who is now standing behind the desk, as she exits the shop. Beca sends her another wink.

When Chloe gets into the car, she opens up the paper to find Beca’s number written neatly with a signature next to it, and a heart. She adds Beca’s number to her phone, as they drive away.

[yournameyn]

Feeling Deeply Chapter 5

Genre: Arranged Marriage Fic. Fluff turning into angst?

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Summary: The story of two deeply feeling nerds who find themselves in an arranged marriage. (Details here). Our OC is called Brishti. It’s a Bengali name meaning rain. Namjoon calls her Rim (short for her pet name, RimJhim which means the pitter-patter of rain). She calls him Joon.

Warnings: NOT THE NAMJOON OF OUR DREAMS. Argument. Fight over tiny discrepancies that turn out to be a huge problem. Domestic violence. Not a happy chapter.

A/N: Have you ever felt this, reader? When you watch something and realise exactly what you need to realise in that moment? I’ve had that so many times - seeing my feelings mirrored in a show. That’s something that I’ve tried to have Brishti feel here. Also, this is how I see the natural progression of this Namjoon, the one who obliged to duty rather than his dreams. It took me a long time to write this but I love what’s come out. Let me know what you think!

Current Chapter: London, late 1963. Love fully blooms between Namjoon and Brishti. And yet, something’s not right. A visit to the ballet and a conversation brings forth realisations. The inklings that Brishti was trying to avoid transform into writing on the wall.

Previously in Feeling Deeply: Preface Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5

The magic about new love isn’t really in romance or even in true intimacy. It’s in how violent new love is… and just how much time it takes us to feel it’s impact.

In the new love between Namjoon and Brishti, everything had been roses and honey, overflowing, swaying in a gentle breeze. They spent every second possible in each other’s arms. They had to tear themselves away from each other when they had to leave home. And even then, it hurt as though they were part of the same cloth.

Brishti had thought about how they had become woven, their souls an ornate tapestry. Namjoon had told her then about a Japanese tradition of weaving that was a sort of meditation and a kind of worship to a god called ‘Musubi’. The disciples say it is like being part of the cosmic tapestry. Being tied to each other.

“Just like we are… I felt a pull toward you and I followed it. I was scared… so full of doubts about who you were and how this was all going to go… I had promised myself that I would fulfil my duty… whatever happened ” Namjoon had said, petting Brishti’s hand gently, “And I… I still can’t believe it… It… you make me feel like I can… trust myself.” Brishti had looked at her genius then and wondered what a strange world it must be that made a man like Namjoon doubt himself, “Always, always trust yourself, Namjoon-ah.” and settled into the crook of his neck.

It was indeed a strange world that caused Namjoon to build an armour around himself. Because ‘London’ and ‘Lonely’ sounded just the same to him. His years alone in this strange place had been unkind, unrelenting. Brishti had been the only softness he had felt in a long long time. Armours built over years can break in an instant, though. For him, it was the moment when he and his wife had crossed the threshold to becoming lovers. High on the magic of new love, he had not realised it.

Sitting across from each other after that fateful evening, Namjoon and Brishti were both wide awake in the early hours of the next morning. Brishti buttoned up the shirt they never fully took off. Namjoon had tickled her with his toes. They propped their feet against the other’s to see just how vast the difference was (he melted seeing how small her feet were and hadn’t stopped playing with them since). Caressing each toe, he remembered something he wanted to ask -

“How did you know what Saranghae is?”

“Mm…” she stretched her arms, “I know what it means…” Brishti said.

“I know you know… from the way you… after I said it… You asked Yoongi about it?” Namjoon cautiously asked about the only other Korean Brishti knew. To his surprise, she nodded no, still denying him any information. Namjoon had to tickle her foot for the answer.

“Okay! Okay! Wait! Pleeeease!” Namjoon stopped and Brishti bent down to the bureau next to her bed and pulled out a textbook - LEARN HANGUL THROUGH ENGLISH. Namjoon looked more shocked than she had expected. “I asked Yoongi about the book-”

“You don’t need to Rim… I’m not learning Bangla, am I?” Namjoon said. He was touched but he didn’t want his love to do anything he couldn’t reciprocate.

“I would have asked you to learn it… if I wrote poetry in my mothertongue...” Brishti said. Namjoon was shocked. She went on, “You really think I didn’t know?”

Namjoon blushed and smiled and flopped over in Brishti’s lap. She brushed his hair as she explained, “You light up at the mention of lyrics and poetry, you keep a notebook by your side at all times, you’re moved by the things that people usually don’t pay attention to… I know you’re a poet, Joonie.”

Namjoon looked up at her and said, “No one has ever called me that…”

Brishti leaned down and kissed her gorgeous husband. “You are... From what I know, I bet all my books that you are a great one... And… I… I would love nothing more than to be part of your world of words, Joonie… It must be strange… to be understood but in a foreign language. If you would let me, I want to understand you in your language… Do you think that’s something maybe--”

He got up and all but jumped on Brishti, pinning her down to the bed with the cutest puppy-yell she had ever heard. “Yes! Of course, yes!”

They both understood that this was a proposal. The truest kind - a gentle request to explore Namjoon’s universe. They would later joke about how she proposed to him after a month of being married. Namjoon was completely delighted by this person with him, his person… one who really saw him.

He pulled her to him saying, “You’re the best part of my world, Rim...” and kissed her.

Each moment of love flowed through the next. When they had to be separated, they couldn’t wait for the next one, their moment again. On weekends they would visit museums and find their favourite paintings and sculpture or their favourite prehistoric relic and animal. Brishti hated the fact that Namjoon had to work overtime to compensate for these weekends and she often voiced how unfair it was.

In response Namjoon would just give her a peck and say, “As long as I have you, I’m happy.” This pricked her but she was too taken by the man before her to pay heed to it.

Namjoon was just about able to keep a straight face at work but everyone around Brishti was acutely aware of how much she loved Namjoon.

At one point, her colleague and best friend, Min Yoongi had yelled at her, “Yhaaaaa! Stop blushing?! It’s just a clock… what could be romantic about a clock?!” Sayuri-san, and she were hanging around Yoongi’s table when Brishti looked at his new flip clock and started blushing.

Brishti laughed along with everyone else but explained, “It’s involuntary… that’s what happens when you’re married to a poet.”

Sayuri-san corrected, “I know too many wives of poets to know that’s not necessarily true… It is true though, when you’re in love with a poet… Go on… tell us how exactly poet Namjoon makes you blush about a clock...”

Brishti blushed even more at that. Yoongi rubbed his arms and demanded, “Tell us because there’s some really weird things coming to my mind… like you guys have an exact time when...”

Brishti stopped his imagination, “No no no… it’s nothing like that… he loves digital clocks... because he loves to watch the time turn to 00:00… zero o’clock he calls it… and on days he feels sad, it’s like zero o’clock is always there to comfort him… like it’s a point when the whole world holds its breath and he can feel happy again… but these days… with me… he said he wants the clock to keep going after 23:59… he wishes time would stretch on… beyond 24:01…”

Yoongi sighed and sat back down, “You’re making me fall in love with Namjoon… ahhh that is beautiful. He should be published...”

“Imagine him saying this directly to you and you might know how I feel… I can’t stop talking about him...”

“Oh, we know. But honestly none of us care… your poet-librarian romance is getting us through our single-ness.” Yoongi reassured her.

The three of them continued to talk about the ways in which Brishti could repay Namjoon’s wordsmithing in graphic ways.

It was that evening, wasn’t it, when Namjoon had enveloped her back in the warmest hug as soon as he’d entered their flat. Brishti was in the kitchen when she heard him enter but hadn’t expected this. He kissed her neck while telling her the good news, “We got our first Korean client today… because of me… Mmmm… Why do you always smell so amazing?”

Brishti turned around and hugged him again, “That’s amazing! Namjoon-ssi! I’m so proud of you!”

“He’s from a wealthy family… so he can actually afford our firm… its not exactly the work I wanted to do--”

“It is a step toward that idea, right? It’s still good work, fighting for justice?” Brishti asked, stopping him from undermining his own work.

Namjoon nodded, “Yeah… He’s a dancer… Park Jimin. All the posh types know him as one of the best dancers in the Royal Ballet. They call him Jim… as if it’s too difficult to say Jimin?” Namjoon shook his head in disapproval. He began helping Brishti with the chopping and continued, “He was born in the UK and trained since he was 5... He got into the Royal Ballet but he’s been passed up to be a principal over and over even though everyone who has seen him dance apparently knows that he’s far far better… So recently he spoke to the director there... and of course the director made a racist slur and asked not to bother him with this again. He can’t even quit and work at another company because of the contract they have him on. There’s a non compete clause… meaning he won’t be able to dance with any other company. That’s all he wants… to be able to get out of that contract… I’m hoping to convince him to press charges on racial discrimination too. We’re not in the 20s anymore.”

When Brishti didn’t respond, Namjoon looked up at her. “That’s horrible… I’m so so glad you’re taking up the case. But please tell me what you ate when you were alone?” He looked down at the carrot he’d been failing to cut.

Namjoon scrunched his nose and admitted, “Canned food mostly.”

Brishti said, “I’m really really glad you’re getting to do work that you are passionate about, Joonie, you deserve it. Now, you should know how to cut a carrot.”

Namjoon pressed up against Brishti’s back. She reached back up to the nape of his neck and made him moan into her. Then… then Namjoon made her forget how to cut carrots.

He had these ways… Namjoon, with his touch, his voice, his languages both spoken and soundless. He was lighting new paths into her self. She loved learning him. Paths she didn’t know existed, that she’d been longing for.

The scars of the loneliness, emptiness that Namjoon had experienced had turned his longings into a kind of starvation. He needed to be nourished and also devoured. Brishti was just the creature to do it. He could feel her warm fingers trace rows of pleasure onto his skin. He felt them bear down and singe when the two of them had to move away from each other. He felt those ropes tug at him as the end of his workday neared. Namjoon closed his eyes each night at her touch, the feeling and fragrance of her body. He felt blooms of intimacy spring up like seedlings out of the soil of his skin. And deeper. In the earth of his soul. So he did the only thing he could. Reciprocate. Namjoon sowed his love, his desire, his need onto her, into her every night.

There were times, though, when she would feel his absence in the middle of the night and see him working in the dim light of a lamp. She knew he had to work hard to do what he wanted but she also saw he had to continually prove himself to people who weren’t even paying attention. The reason they weren’t paying attention was painfully clear to Brishti but she was yet to experience it’s full stab.

Namjoon wanted to shield her from it. He was counting on an armour that didn’t exist anymore to protect himself and his wife… the reason he liked his life again. Whenever she came out and switched on a brighter light, reprimanding him for straining his gorgeous eyes, he saw that it did prick her - this world and the unfairness he had to endure. She would say something small, an almost-complaint that alerted him… against her for some strange reason. She would say something that would be easy to ignore and yet would prick him, like - “I don’t know why they haven’t promoted you yet.” or “Why haven’t they taken up Jimin’s case yet? You’ve worked so hard on it.” Everytime she did that, he would have to pacify himself.

‘I’ve told her so much about the Jimin case… she’s just really invested’ Namjoon thought to himself. Just so he would avoid thinking, ‘I shouldn’t have told her.’

He would have to calm himself, give her a peck and try to convince her to stop worrying. “As long as I have you, I’m happy.” Namjoon would always say.

Then, Brishti smiled as she always did. While trying to understand why that sentence bothered her so much. After almost five months of exploring this wonderful man, some part of him still felt unfamiliar… like it didn’t fit in with the rest. Still, these things take time, she had heard from so many women over the years. Besides, she was blessed with a man far far above the norms. So, how could she prod? These are things Brishti had told herself - until the night she couldn’t stay silent.

The couple was coming up on their fifth month together and Park Jimin had gifted Namjoon a ticket to the final show of the season as a token of gratitude, for having heard his story.

Brishti was nervous about going to this kind of a gathering and had told her husband to meet her there.

She had enlisted the help of Sayuri-san to look appropriate for the event. Her slightly longer hair was clipped and her eyes were kohled. She wore a burgundy knee length fringe-ended dress that she had received from her gracious host, stylist and make-up artist - an inheritance of her brilliant life tucked into the black pearl beading and deco design. It was a big departure from the usual tie-die or band tees and jeans with her baggy coat. She had carried the coat but felt this strange sort of compulsion to stand in the cold air in the noodle strap dress, for him to see her.

She felt butterflies in her stomach and kept fiddling with the coat she had draped over her arm. It was electric when she saw him.

Namjoon looked gorgeous in a tux. All of Brishti’s nerves were soothed just by looking at him. He had brushed his hair back. Tall and dashing - better than any heathcliffe could ever be. And with his reading glasses, he looked like the lead of a romance novella that would make all the women swoon. Indeed she was swooning. Brishti was suddenly warm in the chilly, windy night. And when Namjoon saw her, blood rushed to her cheeks. Everything inside her was running helter skelter in a panic. Brishti felt everything drop in the few moments it took for Namjoon to reach the top of the stairs. Dolled up like this, outside of her element, she felt like an imposter. Some angel needed to be standing in her place. For the first time, feigning beauty, Brishti felt like she wasn’t worthy of her husband.

She was finally able to keep her feelings aside when he reached her.

Namjoon kissed her palm like a gentleman and whispered in her ear, “Let’s go home… I need a private kind of dance…” Brishti blushed. Namjoon put his arm around her and felt the chill that had settled on her skin. “Aren’t you cold? Why didn’t you wear the coat?” Namjoon asked. Brishti just shook her head no and the two of them walked in.

Brishti assumed that the ballet would be a welcome distraction from the storm that brewed within her. She had read up about the show, the piece they were going to perform -

Tchaikovsky’s venerated Swan Lake. The story of a young girl who falls in love with a prince who promises to save her but fails. Ofcourse there were finer nuances to the story but this was the basic plot. As the lights dimmed, Brishti felt pulled in by the music, the eerie beauty of it’s melody played in perfectly with the questions that were swirling around in Brishti’s mind -

Why do I feel wrong?

Is this what Yoongi was talking about? Anxiety…?

Why does Namjoon look so... different?

Why is he so quiet, so… distant…It’s like he’s keeping himself away from me despite being right next to me, arm in arm, like the true Namjoon is somewhere in a glass case? Deep deep beneath whatever this creature is who is next to me?

I’m thinking too much. No. What is this? Why am I feeling this way?

It’s the music… no its not just the music… something is fucking wrong because all I feel like doing is breaking that glass case that’s locked away My Namjoon and presented this fucking imposter. What the hell is going on?!

Brishti barely managed to keep it together. She kept her eyes on stage…

It was like seeing a moving painting being created by invisible hands and the music was the sound of the brushstrokes, amplified. Park Jimin was playing Rothbart, the owl-like magician who curses Odette into a swan until she finds someone who would promise to love her forever. The questions in her mind and the power of the spectacle before her forced her tears to keep flowing.

Namjoon saw Brishti cry and held on to her. But the more he tried to comfort her, the more uneasy she became, the more she coudln’t contain the tears in her eyes.

The curtain fell at the end of Act three when the prince realises he has been tricked. Brishti, somehow, mirrored his grief. The prince was cheated by Rothbart into believing that his daughter, Odile, was Odette. Rothbart relished his plan so despicably it made Brishti’s stomach turn. The prince had already declared to the ballroom full of people his vow to love and marry the maiden by his side - Odile, not Odette. Park Jimin played Rothbart so skillfully, so beautifully that despite being the villain, despite being covered from head to toe, he was the star. Rothbart giggled delightfully as he revealed to the prince that the girl in his arms wasn’t Odette at all. That Odette was waiting for her prince by the lake. The curtain fell as the prince felt the stab of betrayal and rushed to Odette.

Brishti rushed to where she did not know. She wanted to get away from Namjoon, from this feeling that she couldn’t understand, couldn’t explain. She was angry. She wanted to break something. Tears still flowing down her face, she found a corner that was hidden away in darkness. She went in. Brishti sat on the couch there, for what seemed like eternity, breathing heavily. Nothing made sense. It felt like her insides were twisting into each other. Suddenly, though, a door creaked open and out came an angel. A man, glowing, having just freshened up. He saw her, saw her fear and instead of pulling back in shock, approached with a strange kindness. He held her wrist and stayed silent for a moment.

His beauty was also a kindness to her. In that moment, Brishti could breathe a little bit better. He sat down by her knees, on the floor and when he spoke, his voice flowed like a tonic, “First time at the ballet? It’s overwhelming… I know. You’re okay. You are safe. Rothbart is not here. Talk to me… what are you feeling?”

The tears kept flowing. This man was different, she knew he understood what she was feeling like. She felt safe, but not as if she was with a saviour, rather as though she was with another victim.

“What are you feeling…” Park Jimin repeated. The pieces were falling into place in her head. This is Park Jimin, the man who danced as Rothbart. The man who should have danced the Prince. Who should have played Odette and Odile.

“I feel�� rage.” Brishti trembled as she spoke. She could breathe again.

“Yes… Rothbart is… evil… I’m sorry-”

Brishti nodded her head no. “At the prince.”

Jimin was surprised. “Let it out. You can scream in here and no one would know.”

Brishti didn’t need another invitation, but her rage wasn’t a scream, it was a whisper - “I want to hit the prince. How could he not now? He couldn’t see that that girl was not Odette? Is he blind? The way she moved, the way she danced… which only means… it means that the prince knew… somewhere he felt doubt but he… He couldn’t fucking trust himself enough?! I don’t know why this is breaking my heart… Why can’t people trust in themselves?! It’s a pathetic fucking excuse and I can’t buy it… I just can’t. Why did the prince...” Her hands covered her face as she wiped her tears. She composed herself.

Jimin pulled out a kerchief. “May I?” Brishti nodded and he dabbed her face with care.

“The prince trusted his sight more than his soul. And now, Odette will die because of it. As always, the woman pays the price.”

“He dies too, you know.”

“What a waste…”

Jimin smiled, “Thank you… for watching the show, for feeling it so much.”

Brishti managed a weak smile, “Thank you.” Jimin stepped away and sat next to her, at a respectable distance. “I’m being lied to.”

Jimin nodded, “I know what that’s like. I feel that rage against the prince too. And still, we must be kind to our liars.”

Brishti clenched her teeth, “Why? Where’s the fairness in that?”

Jimin moves away, in a dejected kind of daze and pours himself a drink, “That’s the biggest lie, fairness. Cruel joke.”

Brishti walked toward the door. “I should go… Thank you.”

Jimin raised his glass to her.

Brishti wore her coat and walked toward the exit. She found Namjoon in a panic and suddenly felt like she could reach him. He looked so relieved to see her. She couldn’t help but feel awash with love as he crashed into her in the warmest hug. It was as if he was the one who was lost.

“Are you okay? Why were you crying?” Namjoon asked her as he stroked her head and held her in the hug for as long as she needed.

“I need to ask you something.” Brishti whispered as she pulled away. They began walking down the stairs of the theatre.

“Änything.” Namjoon replied.

“Your firm… they refused the Jimin case, right?”

Namjoon froze. His jaw locked up. “Let’s go home.”

The rest of the way, neither of them spoke a word. They entered their home in a cold silence. They washed the night off themselves and entered their bedroom, which was completely devoid of the heat and desire that usually filled it right up to the ceiling. What used to feel like an ocean, now felt like a vacuum.

When Namjoon walked in, Brishti reminded him, as kindly as she could,“I said I need to ask you something. You said, ‘anything’.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about it.” Namjoon was cold again. Unfeeling. Unreachable.

Brishti tried her best to be calm… “When would you want to talk about it?”

Namjoon breathed in - “Why? Am I answerable to you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we disagree. I don’t think I am answerable to you. What would you have done if I wouldn’t have told you about it in the first place?”

“I would still be feeling what I’m feeling… I would be even more furious though.”

“Fu- why would you be furious? I have to work there, I lost the account. I’m feeling hurt and disappointed in myself and instead of helping me, you’re angry?! What the hell could you be angry at?!”

“I’m being lied to. I’m being tricked.”

“What?!” the contempt on Namjoon’s face made her head throb. He was angry now.

“There are two Namjoons here. I’m being told there’s only one and--”

“That is some philosophical trash that you learned from one of your books. Real life doesn’t work that way. But how would you know?! You don’t have a real job. You have a hobby. A hobby of stacking books in order. You’re just plain lucky that someone is paying you for your hobby. That’s not a job. You of all people cannot tell me about the things I have to do to keep my job. I have tried my best to be as honest as I can be--”

“As honest as you can --”

“Listen to me!” Namjoon thundered. His loud voice might as well have been a punch. It rang through her body and rattled her bones. She had tears in her eyes but clenched them down as Namjoon continued yelling, “Enough… enough with the fucking tears. What the fuck are you so sad about?! I don’t need you to pity me. I don’t need anyone to feel sad for me. I have tried to be a good man - do you even know how much other men don’t even mention to their wives?! I told you everything. EVERYTHING. And now I’m being punished for it. Time and time again I tried to console you… even though I was the one hurting… I tried to be there for you and tell you… as long as I have --”

Brishti couldn’t take it anymore “Don’t. Say that.” She didn’t yell. Her voice was just above a whisper and yet it sent a chill down Namjoon’s spine. She wiped her tears. “I didn’t ask to be consoled. I was just… curious. If a few questions from me hurt so much maybe you should ask yourself why. I’m not lucky that someone decided to pay me for my hobby. It’s nice to know what you really think of my job. But whatever you think, I created my job. I created my life. I fought to come to london. I fought for the right to earn--”

“Oh please... spare me the feminist lecture...” scoffed Namjoon.

“Sure. Take up Jimin’s case.”

Namjoon felt the burn of white hot rage. He wanted to strangle her. He was so used to touching her… and she was his… in this bedroom, he had made her his. He wasn’t thinking. Namjoon strode toward her and held one massive palm over her mouth and the other on her neck and pinned her to the wall. “YOU WOULDN’T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THAT IF I DIDN’T TELL YOU.”

It took him a few moments to realise what he was doing. Brishti was shocked and tried to scream but no voice came out. She was trying to get him out of his daze when he finally saw her, saw his Rim, horrified… by him. Namjoon pulled his hands back instantly. He saw a red bruise bloom where his hands were - on her face and on her neck.

“This is how you make your conscience shut up?” Brishti’s voice was hoarse. “You think this has nothing to do with your conscience? With the best part of you? The part that you made me fall in love with? Are you really telling me you don’t know that this is why you can’t write the way you used to… You’re killing my Joon and asking me to stay silent. I can’t.”

The searing anger still hadn’t died and it burst out of him, “Why are we fighting like this… over Jimin… why don’t you take up his case if you fucking love him so much?”

“What do you think I’m doing right now?”

“You… Why are you fighting for him against me?!” It was here that Namjoon realised his armour was gone. The idea of who he is... suddenly vanished. And the one thing that had made him feel safe, like his true self, was slipping away. “You’re saying… just tell me… you’re saying what I think you’re saying.”

Brishti did him the only kindness she had left in her, she explained, “Jimin wants to leave but can’t. He stays because he needs to dance. He stays because he cannot get out of his contract. You say you want to help people like Jimin, you roll your eyes at white people who can’t pronounce our names, you feel guilty for asians who have much less than we do… but then you also don’t raise an issue when your boss holds meetings in clubs where people of other races and dogs and women are not allowed. You work overtime for the privilege of weekends… You say you are trying but… as far as I know… you don’t have a non-compete clause in your contract, Namjoon.”

That hit him like an iceberg. Namjoon’s legs gave way and he just sat on the bed.

He watched as Brishti put on her coat and left, covering her bruises with a scarf.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6 - to be posted.

[twonderland]

are the orders open? I would like to ask for a little imagines of the leaders of the houses reacting to discovering that daring is Crewel's niece

Ooooh shoot 😂 ♥️🖤🤍♥️🖤🤍

Dorm Leaders request

♥️ You have been partners for some time now, he likes your sense of style and thinks of you like someone elegant and with good taste, also really clever, something that captured his attention. You specially had ability for potion class , memorizing everything really fast and even sometimes exempting some tests for too many extra point you got in practices

♥️ You study together, some of the students in NRC think that you two are so powerful ! It’s even intimidating sometimes ...

♥️ Until one day in potion class Divus got to your place while you where mixing some herbs and weird stuff in the cauldron, it seemed to be that something was not right ...

“OMG (y/n) what did I taught you ? The fly wings go after the gnomes nails, not before !!! Bad puppie ! “

“UUGH UNCLE !! I know it, I just didn’t want it to have such a fluid consistency, I wanted to try - blah blah blah”

Meanwhile you two were discussing Riddle that was, as always, next to you was like “wait wHAT”

♥️ After that incident he was kinda nervous, -how should I approach her now ? How didn’t I noticed ???? OMG I ALWAS CASUAL AROUND HER MEANWHILE HER UNCLE WAS PRESENT- all this thoughts crossed his mind but didn’t say anything. You were no fool and noticed it, also proceed to clarify that yes you were his niece but there was no reason he should treat you differently, after that....he relaxed.... kind of 😂

♥️ Even if he knew that there shouldn’t be any difference in your relationship, he still gets kinda nervous around his teacher, not because you are in fact his niece, but because he wants to have a good impression with Divus

♥️ Fun fact : Divus already knew you two were dating but is pretty chill about it, actually really happy that his niece is dating someone so gentle and well mannered as Riddle ☺️

🦁 This one right here , he’s a person + lion = wich means he has some really acute senses such as smell and as weird as it sounds he kinda ... felt like your smell was kind of similar to Divus ...

🦁 This kept bugging his mind for some time now until he bluntly asked you “hey herbivore, if you have done something with that old bicolor man it’s better if you tell me now or else you are gonna face the consequences” ... to what you answered really confused that you didn’t have any idea of what was he talking about, and he also was being a jerk

🦁 “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT??” “well I don’t now herbivore, maybe because hIS SCENT IS ALL OVER YOU !” “Ugh, Leona! How could you say that , he’s my UNCLE “

... 😳

Leona feels rlly stupid rn

🦁 Ashamed and confused, Leona couldn’t even process what was happening “u-uncle?”.

OK LET ME EXPLAIN, have you ever heard of how animals recognize their babies because they have a certain smell that makes them “part or the pack” ? Well, that’s what happened here 😂

🦁 Right after this happened everything made sense, your smell that was similar to Divus’s, your good fashion sense, etc. he apologized while holding you from behind, burying his face in the crook of your neck so you wouldn’t be able to notice the blush on his cheeks

🦁 Lets just say that the atmosphere of the next classes with Divus were strange, Leona is a confident young man, but this situation took him unprepared so he tries to avoid eye contact with his teacher, just give the big cat some days and he will come to his usual self 😂

🐙 He has knew it all this time 😂

🐙 no, but seriously, since the moment he met you Azul started to investigate your past, likes, abilities, after all you were the only girl in NRC and a possible client, he had the eel brothers on your back ...

🐙 The reason he has never come to talk or ask about it is because he doesn’t see the point in it, not to be rude, but he doesn’t care who your parents or relatives are, Azul likes you no matter what and if you are his profesor niece, then that’s no big deal

Until

“RAAAA LALA LA LAAAA RARA LALA LaaaAAAAA~ “ ヽ(´▽｀)/

“ASHEGRONTTO-SAN is it really necessary for you to sing throughout the WHOLE class ??? BAD PUPPIE , STAY STAY !!!!”

🐙 poor baby just wants to be good bf material and impress your uncle 🥺❤️

🐙 -is it possible to sign a contract with myself so I can become the perfect bf? - he thinks, while you are watching his serious face and somehow you feel like you know what’s he’s thinking “.....Azul, stop” 😐

🐙 You talk with him, making sure he understands that he’s in fact the perfect boyfriend. He feels more confident now that he knows he’s doing just great but that doesn’t stop him to win your uncle’s approval 😂 COME ON HE’S AZUL ! Actually, Divues comes to like him even more after he starts to doing favors such as helping him to care some papers, making sure the ingredients for the potions are in order, etc.

He’s as always really sly 😅

👑 OK

👑 Now , this is a power couple 😂

👑 SERIOUSLY like, imagine Divus’s niece walking through the corridor in high heels next to Vil FUCKING Schoenheit going to potion class just to excempt like a boss

👑 He ... suspected something when he saw you two interacting, Vil is someone really observant and actually noticed that you have some similar mannerisms to Divus Crewel, such as rising your voice when something is well done, specially potions, your fashion aesthetic, cof cof hair color cof cof Your way of speaking and laughing, your ability in potions in general, etc.

👑 The moment he asked was smooth yet he felt kinda nervous since the very thought of it was possible but nevertheless kinda awkward “darling ... is professor Divus .. a relative of yours ? “ you stoped for a sec, remembering that you never really told him about your blood relation with Divus but also noticing your bf amazing intuition

👑 “Y-yeah, he’s my uncle actually” “....I see” he’s a little bit silent, thinking about why wouldn’t you have told him earlier ? Maybe you still don’t trust him that much... he had a thousand thoughts but before he could get depressed about it you said “He’s my relative, but I never thought it was something really important to mention, after all I’m another student and I can assure you that he has never had preference for me just for being his niece !”

👑 He... actually didn’t thought about that last part, he knows you are someone brilliant and doesn’t need the help of preference of your professor even if he’s your uncle, watching the worry on your eyes he showed you a gentle smile and pated your head “ I could never think of you that way, you are perfect without any help”

👑 I think Vil would be one of the most chill bf if he knew Divus was your uncle, he gets nervous when your professor is present but is good hiding it, outside of that Vil doesn’t change his attitude towards you or Divus

☀️ This sunshine never noticed it 😂😂😂

☀️ One day he was doing schoolwork with Jamil and his friend told him “ Kalim, have you taught about what will you give to professor Divus for his birthday ? “Mm? Well... not actually, but I can think about something ! Help me Jamil ☺️” “ok, remember that making Divus happy will also make (y/n) happy” he’s not understanding what is his friend saying rn “umm... but why would that make (y/n) happy ? The present will be for the professor” “well I believe that seeing his bf giving a present to his uncle would be a good detail”

☀️ her what now?

☀️”W-WAIT A SECOND JAMIL WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!” “I said that it would be nice if you gave a present to- “ “NOT ABOUT THE PRESENT ! Is Divus (y/n)‘s uncle ?!” ...”I thought you already knew 🤨”

Devastated

☀️ Jamil has this info since the day you started dating Kalim, of course he had to knew who was romancing his master, looked for info and walla ! Look 👏🏻at 👏🏻that 👏🏻 you are Divus’s niece 😂

☀️ As I said before, it was Divus’s birthday, the day started quite normal, you two attended class when suddenly Kalim went as fast as he could to your place “(y/n) ! I WILL MAKE YOU HAPPYJUST WATCH !” You are like ...

“... uh hu .. what is happeni-“ but before you finished your sentence sunshine boy went as fast as wind again to Divus “PROFESSOR ! Happy Birthday ! I wish you have an amazing day and that this presents please you !” Confusion was clear on the teacher’s face, one second before he could even start to ask the young man what was he talking about a strong rumbling and also the sound of what it could be a stampede could be heard from the classroom

☀️ “THREE ELEPHANTS, FOURTEEN CAMELS AND SOME PEACOCKS !! Oh ! And some dancers !! The perfect present to enlighten a soul isn’t t it ? Gyahahaha ~ ! “

Meanwhile Divus had his mouth agape from the impression while he sees all his presents arriving from a window, you are in the back trying to understand the whole scenario

“KALIM WHAT IS THIS, WHAT IS HAPPENING ???!??”

☀️ long story short, the “presents” dissapeared , Divus was ... happy that his little pup thought about his birthday but was also really shocked, and well, you and your bf had to talk about this .... event. Kalim got the idea but sometimes still wants to impress your uncle

💀 Chill when he’s alone, anxiety attack when you are present 😂

💀 That was at least the first reactions he had when he met you, it’s just that your are so fancy and gorgeous... actually Idia sometimes finds himself wondering how could he get a bae that’s so WOW

💀 Idia being Idia wich means staying in his room 24/7 gave him LOTS of time to make theories about everything and anything, one of those was you. The investigation begun because he just wanted to know more about his gurl ☺️❤️ but ended pretty chaotic 😂

💀 Imagine walking throughout the corridor and when you walk pass Idia’s door you hear a what it seems to be a high pitch scream followed by other strange “human” noises

💀 YUP he discovered it 😂

💀 The next day he found out you approached him naturally, it was morning and just wanted to give your bf a nice and cute greeting ☺️💖 but when you are just some steps from him, Idia flinched... you thought it was normal since he is easily scared when he’s outside his room, but when it’s you he’s most likely to be relaxed 🤔

💀 It took him all day to ask you about your connection with Divus, it impressed you that he was actually pretty certain that you were his niece he had a whole document with photos and all that proved his point 😂

💀 Overall he listened to you carefully, Idia is a good boyfriend, let’s you speak and say everything you need to explain, you were astonished when he gave you a proud smile when you finished your story, telling you how amazing your bloodline is and that he is really lucky to have such a beautiful and brilliant girlfriend 🖤

🐉 Mal is also pretty chill about it, being the most relaxed out of all the dorm leaders

🐉 He himself has his family in NRC too, Lilia for example *you are my dad ! ~ Boogi Woogie Woggie* srry 😂

🐉 So he understands the feeling of having around relatives in school, Malleus gets interested in you even more after you bring Divus into the conversation, he admires all his professors since he a good boy ☺️💖

🐉 Also, being Divus’s niece means you have some similar traits to him which is true at some extent, he asks you about your likes for potions and Malleus listens carefully, with a tender smile on his face. He is fascinated by your aura and all the stories you narrate about Divus and you

🐉 Everything went smoothly until the next day after you have talked about your relation with Divus, you were reading a recipe to make a potion in classroom, waiting for Malleus to arrive. He was pretty puntual to all his classes, so it was kind of weird he took his time that day. The minutes passed and you began to worry about what could have happened to your bf, was he alright ? Where was he?

🐉 “Professor Divus” it was his voice, looking up from the book you saw him handling your uncle a giant green gem with a straight face

“I hope our relationship develops placidly and for the good of our beloved (y/n) we could get along well”

The entire class was like 👁 👄 👁

- What on earth just happened ?!- you thought, Divus was struggling to carry the beautiful gem, while Mall some seconds ago was holding it like it was a piece of paper. You didn’t want to embarrass or trouble your bf with more questions since all the class was watching him confused and amazed, making the atmosphere weirder than it already was

🐉 You waited until class was over to ask him what on earth happened, he told you about how dragons give a little piece of their treasures in a form of “alliance” with the beings that they think are trust worthy, and Divus being your relative... well, he wanted to get closer to him

🥺💖

🐉 You thank him and give him a bear hug, he couldn't be any more sweeter 💕

Thanks for your request

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[impala666]

The One With The Stoned Guy Part One (Joey meets Bryan)

In this episode Chandler quits his job to find what his true passion in life is, as Monica once in a lifetime career opportunity. Oh, yeah! Joey meets and finds out about Bryan. 

Last Part (Part Four), Series Masterlist

You had just gotten to Central Perk after finishing school for the day and you couldn’t help but feel like you were on top of the world as you sat next to Monica waiting for Rachel to bring everybody their orders. You had taken your first every client which went as smoothly as it could considering that you were still a student, and you were waiting for Bryan to come and pick you up after he got done at the firestation. You were quickly drawn out of your thoughts when you saw Rachel come over with her tray of drinks that all of you ordered. “Coffee,” Rachel announced as she handed the mug to Joey who took it with a thank you. “Cappuccino,” which Ross took with a ‘gracie.’ “An americano,” Rachel said to you as you took the mug with a thank you of your own. “And a nice hot cider for Monica.” Monica thanked the woman as she took the mug from Rachel, but then she noticed something peculiar about her drink. 

“Rach,” Monica hollered. “Why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser?” Monica’s weird complaint had you looking up from your own drink with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Oh,” Rachel’s hand went behind her ear. “Oh, that’s why.” She smiled in realization when she felt the cinnamon stick on her ear. “I’m sorry,” Rachel apologized as she took the hot soaked pencil out of Monica’s mug and put the ear resting cinnamon stick into Monica’s mug instead. Causing yours and Monica’s faces to scrunch up in similar disgust. 

********

“Hey, you guys!” Phoebe announced as she ran over to the couch. “Chandler’s coming. He says he has incredible news. So when he gets here, let’s all act like…” But she could never finish giving her plan to all of you when the man you were talking about entered the building with a , ‘hey.’ “Nevermind, but it was going to be really good.” Phoebe reassured all of you as she sat next to Monica causing you to scoot over closer to Ross to make room.

“What’s going on?” Ross asks Chandler.

“What’s up?” You also ask turning to face your big brother. 

“So, it’s a typical day at work, inputting my numbers. When Big Al calls me into his office and says he wants to make me processing supervisor.” Chandler announces, causing everyone to congratulate him, you were even getting up to give him a quick hug when the announcement took a turn. “So… I quit.” Chandler said, so instead of hugging him with your extended arms you hit him in the arm instead. 

“Why?” You all questioned. 

“Why? This was supposed to be a temp job.” Chandler tried to defend himself. 

“Chandler, you’ve been there for five years.” Monica said, calling Chandler out on how not temporary his job has been. 

“But if I took this promotion it’d be like admitting that this is what I actually do.” Chandler explained. You had been there; feeling like you're in a dead end job with no end in sight which just really brought you down.  

“Is it a lot more money?” You had to ask though. 

“It doesn’t matter. I just don’t want to be one of those guys that’s in his office until 12:00 at night worrying about the WEENUS.” Chandler spoke to as if it should have been obvious what he was talking about. 

“The weenus?” Rachel asked both confused and concerned. 

“”Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems.” It’s a processing term.” Chandler explained himself as he moved to sit in the arm chair. 

“Oh...that weenus.” Rachel joked since it still meant nothing to the rest of you. 

“So, what’re you going to do?” Joey asked. 

“I don’t know, that’s it. I don’t know what I want to do I just know I won’t figure it out working there.” Chandler said quietly. You couldn’t help but sit on the arm of the chair and wrap him in a quick hug. It was hard being in that position. When you aren’t happy enough to stop doing it, but you still don’t know what you want to do. 

“Oh! I have something you can do.” Phoebe jumped forward in her seat with an idea. “I have this new massage client, Steve?” Phoebe questioned as if all of you should know him. “Anyway, he’s opening a new restaurant and he’s looking for a head chef.” Phoebe announced, she gestured to Chandler to give him the idea but you all just sat with blank stares waiting for her to catch up when Monica tapped Phoebe on the shoulder. 

“Um...hi, there.” Monica smiled when Phoebe turned around to look at her to she what she wanted. 

“Hi.” Phoebe smiled at her. “Oh yeah, no, I know you’re a chef and I thought of you first. But Chandler’s the one who needs a job right now, so.” Phoebe got frustrated when Monica tried to ask for it when clearly she had a friend that was in need. She turned around to give her friend in need a big smile to see what he thought. 

“Yeah, I just don’t have a lot of chefing experience. Unless it’s an all-toast restaurant.” Chandler explained to Phoebe as she felt Monica tapping her again. 

“Yeah,” she asked as she gave Monica her full attention.

“What kind of food is he looking for?” Monica asked Phoebe. 

“He wants to do something eclectic, so he’s looking for someone who can create the entire menu.” Phoebe explained.

“Oh, my God!” Monica cheered as she grabbed onto Phoebe’s arm, when Monica heard everything that she needed and wanted to hear. 

“Yeah, I know!” Phoebe cheered with her. “So what do you think?” Phoebe asked turning around to face Chandler.

“Thanks, Pheebes. I just don’t really see myself in a big white hat.” Chandler politely turned her down. 

“Okay,” Phoebe shrugged his loss off her shoulders when a thought came to her. “”Oh, Monica, guess what!” She cheered as Monica groaned and hid her face in Ross’s shoulder as she rolled her eyes. You sat there on the arm chair’s arm laughing at what went on when you heard the entrance door open, and the person that you were expecting to meet walked in through the door. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Bryan brightly smiled as he walked over. You stood up from your seat. 

“Hey, Bryan,” you smiled as you stood on your tip toes and the both of you leaned in to quickly peck each others lips. The both of you had gone out a couple times with in the last few weeks, so yes you had gotten to the age of kissing and usually make out sessions. 

“You ready to go?” He asked, to which you nodded. Bryan put his hand on your lower back to guide you to go first but someone in your friend group not so subtly cleared their throats causing the both of you to look over at your brother.

“Aren’t you going to introduce everyone?” Chandler asked with his fake smile to which you knew was his overprotective brother side. 

“Right,” you smiled in embarrassment and annoyance. “Bryan this is my big brother, Chandler, Phoebe who you’ve met, Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Joey.” When you finally landed on Joey’s face you couldn’t tell if he was angry, jealous, or sad. It was hard to tell. “Everyone this is Bryan.” You gestured to the gigantic man as you made uncomfortable eye contact with Joey; you really dreaded the both of them meeting, but you were single. You were allowed to see who you wanted. 

“Hi, Bryan!” Everyone but Joey greeted. Bryan leaned over to shake your big brothers hand.

“So what do you do?” Chandler asked the man.

“I’m a fire fighter, actually,” Bryan smiled a little as he uncomfortably slid his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Chandler and everyone nodded in approval to you, to which you rolled your eyes.

“H-how did the two of you meet?” Joey asked, looking like he was about to jump out of his seat. 

“We met here, actually,” you decided to answer before looking at him. His face was just blank.

“Oh, cool,” Joey could barely get out.

“So, Y/N,” Bryan placed his hand on your back again. 

“Hmm?” You asked, looking away from Joey and up at him. Quickly putting a smile on your face.

“You ready to go?” Bryan asked again as he took a careful look at your face. 

“Yeah, of course. Let’s go.” You answered, grabbing your coat and the both of you made your way to the door. “Bye guys.” You took another quick glance at Joey before you grabbed onto Bryan’s arm and the both of you walked out the door to where you were going to have dinner. Little did you know, you had sad puppy dog eyes watching you from behind as you left.

Taglist:

@vampiregirl1797​

@kellysimagines​

@shizzybarnaclee​

[kickingitwithkirk]

Greetings From Austin

Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Alpha!Jared Padalecki x Omega!OFC

Summary: Jensen and Jared are at odds over a monumental decision that changes their lives in a way they couldn’t have envisioned.

Word Count: 2616

Warnings: a/b/o, homophobia, bisexuality, biphobia, angst, cursing, self doubt, depression/anxiety, medical stuff, sexual dysfunction, infertility

*additional warnings to be added in future parts.

A/N: Here we go again with one my weird as hell dreams, series Inspired by this art.

A/N II: There is no intentional hate or malevolence intended towards any of the Ackles or Padalecki families. This is a purely fictional piece containing real and created persons/names/events set in the fictional A/B/O verse. Some dates/events altered to fit story.

*no beta-all mistakes are mine

*divider by @writeyourmindaway​​​​​​​

*images found online

Prologue

Austin, TX

Mid July

“Babe,” Jensen softly says in a low voice to the person seated next to him in the waiting room, “Babe,” he says a bit louder, still getting no response. Leaning close, he blows into their ear.

Jared starts, his “what” muffled by the finger he’s been chewing on.

“You know you can’t do that, don’t want you getting sick.” Taking his hand Jensen pulls it away from his pretty pink lips, gently caressing the finger. Jared had finally stopped chewing on his hands when Covid-19 became widespread.

“Where’s your gum?” Jared bite his lip not answering.

Sighing, Jensen shifts retrieving his pack and hands a piece to him. “What’s got you masticating again?” He inquires as Jared pops the stick in his mouth.

Jared chews the gum nervously weighing how to answer the question knowing Jensen won’t accept anything less than the whole truth. “What if something goes wrong again because of me.”

Jensen’s brow furrowed. He learned years ago that while their relationship is one of equals, he had to be lead Alpha when Jared’s mental state overwhelmed him as it had the last few weeks.

***

After the public announcement in March 2019 that season fifteen would be Supernaturals last, they had agreed when finished with the pickups they would take an extended break, return to Austin and concentrate on their marriage.

Jared intended to stop acting indefinitely, pursuing other interests and Jensen wanted to concentrate on his music.

Of course, things didn’t quite end up how they planned.

Jared entered negotiations to star in the Walker, Texas Ranger reboot, along with being an executive producer. Jensen got a call from Kripke wanting him for the role of Soldier Boy in The Boys third season.

But by March of 2020, everything came to a halt thanks to the Corona-virus.

The shutdowns left Supernaturals final two episodes with no definitive filming date and their seemingly never ending last season put their other projects on hold.

For the first time in years they had the luxury of a leisurely schedule, not having to be somewhere on a timetable, they could communicate with friends and family uninterrupted, deal with their other businesses, charities, etc, leaving most days free to enjoy being together without constraint.

But even amazing, awesome, vigorous sex on every horizontal/vertical surface that could support the two big Alphas only filled so many hours and like many couples, they started getting each others nerves and looked for other ways to stay occupied.

By late May, Jared was unable to sleep or eat, even going out of the house became a chore. When he hit a consecutive fourth day in bed, Jensen bodily dragged him into the bath for a desperately needed shower and loaded him in his truck driving to his doctor's.

Upon checking in they were told patients only allowed in the facility. Jared started panicking, saying he was having chest pains and couldn’t breath. He was rushed in with Jensen hot on their heels after morphing into an overprotective Alpha mate no one was stopping.

Jared’s doctor deduced with the lock-downs prohibiting him from his routine checkups and periodic adjustments needed to his medications triggered this episode.

The first step was to wean him off his current prescriptions and change to a newly approved, alternative regime. He was checked in a facility for ten days under observation while detoxing off his meds.

His therapist switched his twice weekly tele-counseling sessions to daily for the foreseeable future and Kodas certification as an emotional support animal was approved. His progress was slow but he was returning back to his sweet natured, big hearted, exceptionally tactical, overgrown puppy self.

When the surprise call from the clinic came a few days ago about an appointment opening, Jensen initially didn’t want it, still in his overly excessive protective Alpha mode. Jared’s outburst made him relent, fearing they were on a collision course for a major setback if he didn’t.

And Jensen, being Jensen, went overboard to ensure the appointment was absolutely private.

Part I

Jared was about to speak when a woman in scrubs called out, “Mr. Bonham and Mr. Page.” they got up crossing over to her, “Hello, I’m Sissy, Dr. Rodgers nurse, please follow me.”

They pass through the doorway leading through a maze of halls like that of any other medical clinic except this one specialized in a very specific service.

The nurse opens a door near the back of the clinic gesturing for them to enter the spacious office, “Please have a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly.” She closed the door and they sat down in the pair of chairs directly in front of the large, dark mahogany desk.

Jensen, scenting Jared’s nervousness, lifts his right hand kissing his palm, making him chuckle at the tickle of Jen’s soft beard before twining their fingers together and setting them on his left thigh, smiling reassuringly.

There was a brief knock before the door opened and an older, silver haired Beta entered. “Hello, I’m Dr. Rodgers, how are we doing today?” He asks, moving to his chair behind the desk.

Jared gave him a tight smile and Jensen remained placid.

The doctor raises an eyebrow, “Relax Mr. Page, this is just a visit to go over the paperwork before deciding about how we proceed, not the Spanish Inquisition.” Jared releases his held breath but couldn’t completely calm himself.

“I know the process can be overwhelming but I must ask, is there something we’ve done to make you uncomfortable?” Dr. Rodgers inquires.

“No, everyone’s been really nice, very professional. It’s just we..we had issues the first time we attempted to do this.” Jared finished his sentence quietly, in the recess of his mind; something bad is gonna happen and it’ll be my fault.

Jensen squeezes his hand tighter, instinctively sensing Jared’s mind was trying to spiral again, “When tried this before someone leaked our plans to the media. It wasn't ever proven the clinic was involved but...”

“We do everything possible to keep our clients anonymity protected here. All of our staff have been thoroughly vetted and sign NDA, given your professions, you're familiar with how they work. Your real identities will remain completely confidential, even if you choose to not proceed. It is why you chose this particular clinic, yes?”

“Yes, it is.” Jensen replied.

“How about we get this bit of paperwork out of the way, then we can have a more relaxed visit. I’ve gone over the applications you both submitted and have noted a few discrepancies in the medical section that need clarification before we proceed,” He opens the top file, “Mr. Bonham, why did you omit Genu Varum from your medical history?”

Jensen kept his expression neutral as he felt his stomach automatically clench. He had been mercilessly teased throughout his childhood about his bowed legs by his older brother Josh and later his buddies from school when they’d come over to hang out. By the time he was in high school Jensen’s extraordinary looks and personality were what got people’s attention first. Nowadays, many a fanfic waxed poetic about those bowed legs.

“The questionnaire inquired about inherited genetic medical conditions and since mine isn’t, I didn’t think it was necessarily applicable.” Jared hears an edge creeping into Jensen’s voice and gives their tangled fingers a quick squeeze.

“Did you see an orthopedist and were they able to determine what caused the condition? Did they suggest any surgical procedures or therapies to straighten your legs?”

“I was born a preemie, the orthopedists my parents consulted decided my condition was attributable to that.” Jensen replies tersely, dropping his vocal range. Jared gripped his hand harder, telling him to cool the attitude. “The doctor didn’t recommend surgery but sent me to physical therapy, thought it would help them straighten as I grew.”

“So no others in your immediate family have this issue?”

“Everyone my family has straight legs, including my three children.”

Jared piped in, “He hates it but he does have an exercise regimen; stretching, strength training. Oh, he also takes several different vitamins, omega oils, turmeric and extra vitamin D to support his joints.” They watched the doctor scribble a few more notes in the file before closing it.

“Mr. Page,” Jared sits up straighter in his chair, “I appreciate that you went into detail about your mental health status. I see you’ve recently been hospitalized, your medications have been changed to an alternative regiment and you’ve also increased your therapy sessions?”

Jared’s interview continued for another twenty minutes as Dr. Rodgers questioned him in depth about his depression and anxiety, feeling said anxiety ratcheting up so he focused on Jensen’s thumb rhythmically moving over his hand and used every ounce of his acting skills to appear confident and in control.

Dr. Rodgers closed his file, “I only have a few general questions left then we can discuss how you wish to proceed.”

After a more relaxed, genial conversation with the doctor, Sissy took them to a couple private rooms with paraphernalia to help stimulate them into producing a couple semen samples.

Jensen was getting close to finishing with his favorite spank-bank fantasy when he felt Jared’s frustration across their bond.

~~~

Jared couldn’t get aroused.

He felt as useless as his flaccid cock.

His doctor warned him that loss of sex drive could be a possible side effect of his new regiment until his body adjusted to it. He had struggled with temporary impotence a few times on his old meds, always fearful Jensen would finally see him as undesirable, no longer a satisfactory mate.

Rationally, he knew it was his illness causing these exceptionally hard to deal thoughts recently and the nagging idea this wasn’t the right thing for them to attempt again continually kept creeping in.

Jensen’s unspoken reluctance about having more children at his age was also weighing on his conscience, warring against his own biological longings.

They had a humongous argument when he told Jensen about taking the appointment. Jen thought this was the wrong time to attempt it again, pointing out he was just getting his equilibrium back setting Jared went off on a rant about how he no longer wanted him and would leave him like Genevieve had because he was too broken to deal with anymore.

Unmitigated anguish was written across Jensen’s beautiful features, the very notion that Jared could conceivably believe that he’d ever abandon him made his soul hurt in such a way no verbal language on earth could ever express his devastated feelings traveling across their bond.

***

Everything they’d been through; from that bar fight solidifying their friendship, Jared’s first breakdown, the years of living as roommates while secretly a couple to finding wives who understood their unique relationship and still married them both in 2010.

The joyous arrival of JJ three years later that unfortunately exacerbated Genevieve's frustration of not being able to conceive coming out with a vengeance at Jared. His unexpected breakdown in Switzerland was the final nail in their marriage. Gen was there for him but in the end it was all too much and she filed for divorce.

Shortly after, Jared’s iCloud account was hacked. It was believed, but never conclusively proven, that Gen was behind it since her lawyer was trying to break their prenuptial agreement, the videos documenting his private and explicit sexual relationship with Jensen were legally considered adulterous. In the end, the court upheld the legal document but the ramifications...

They were summoned to L.A. for the meeting from hell with WB executives, both convinced it was the end of Supernatural and their careers.

After the reaming out, they each received a weeks pay suspension to cover some of what it was gonna cost PR in time and money to deal with the inevitable repercussions and placate the show's sponsors.

How would the show’s fans react? Would they still be able to accept them as brothers only on TV while in real life they were involved in a highly stigmatized relationship?

When they returned to work there was an atmosphere of tension that hadn’t existed before. It was an open secret that all shows had their share of bitchiness and backstabbing behind the scenes. Jensen may have the thicker skin, keeping tighter control on his emotions, but Jared knew it hurt him just as deeply the loss of some of their friends because of prejudicial, social beliefs that two Alpha males shouldn’t be involved.

Jensen’s parents showed up unexpectedly in Vancouver a few weeks later. What started out as a not quite comfortable visit quickly deteriorated with his religiously conservative parents. They had not raised him like this and blamed Jared, saying he had corrupted him, leading him into a sinful lifestyle. He needed to repent and return to his wife to whom he had made a commitment before god.

Jensen blew up, replying it was none of their business, it was between them and oh, yeah, Danneel knew about them before marrying him and they better not say anything to her. Without another word his parents left. When he later called them to make amends, his mother coolly stated that he was no longer part of their family and to never contact them again.

Three months after the twins were born in 2016 came the finalization of Jensen’s divorce from Danneel, painful but congenial. They easily agreed on joint custody and still spent most holidays together. Jensen gave Dani financial security in their settlement, he wanted to make sure she didn’t have to worry about working again unless she wanted to.

All these years later, Jared continually has nagging thoughts that they had let everybody down. They received support when they publicly came out as bisexual then lost some of it when they married, being mocked for not coming out as gay.

***

There was another knock at the door and Jared ignored it, it was that nurse checking on his lack of progress again. The knock turned into pounding, “Jared, open this door now dammit!” He flinched realizing Jensen knew what was going on with him. Releasing the privacy latch and opening the door a crack he saw concerned green eyes only.

“Sorry, I thought you were that nurse,” he stepped away and sat back down as Jensen came in and re-latching it behind him. “She came to get me when you stopped answering,” Jensen said, walking over to him and started running his thick fingers through his husband’s long hair, “what’s going on babe?”

He glances up knowing that Jensen already knew, “It’s okay Jay, take as long as you need.” He paused at the unpleasant scent wafting around him. “If you’d be more comfortable we could do this at home…” Jared shakes his head, “There’s the risk of damage, contamination and or not able to get it back in time that could make the semen unusable.” Jared quotes from a website.

Jensen softly chuckled, “Nerd.”

Jared notices the bulge in his jeans, “You didn’t...”

“Drain the snake..choke the chicken..spank the monkey.”

“Fuck, okay, you didn’t! Stop using old man slang.” He shook his head smiling  at Jensen intentionally goading him.

Jared reached up for the hand playing in his hair, grasping it to draw Jensen down next to him.

“Jack, I don’t want to wait any longer on doing this. I love JJ and the twins, you know I do, but they'll always be yours and Danneels. I know the timing could be better... but I'm almost thirty-eight and I want my..our own pups running around the house driving us crazy.”

“For the next eighteen years?”

“Minimum.”

tbc

Part II

SPN: @donnaintx​​​​​​​​​​​​ @lyarr24

GFA: @babypink224221 @waywardjoy @let-me-luve-you @all-4-wincest

Sam/Jared @idreamofplaid

Dean/Jensen: @flamencodiva

[angryvettech]

This post is solely about Veterinary staff experiencing aggression towards them at the work place, this is not a hate post about any breed or to say that they are bad pets***

Ask a Vet Tech or Vet Assistant which dog breed they rarely or never trust or they’re wary of and some will say chihuahuas or other small breeds but for me the top three were rottweilers, cane corsos, and shiba inus.

We only had one good shiba; he had no eyes and couldn’t see but despite that he was always calm, obedient, and well behaved. The rest had to be muzzled for their appointments or just be in a good hold.

Every single rottie we had, even those that were friendly before the exam, was a caution. Some were more sneaky about it, being sweet one moment and then snapping the next second. Others were downright aggressive. One figured out if she couldn’t bite me due to the muzzle she wore she could headbutt me when I was off my guard (ouch😵‍💫 I accidentally let a curse slip out in front of the client when that happened) and her brother, who was much bigger, not only needed his dad to muzzle him before coming in the building (he lunged at a Technician outside once) but he also always needed be sedated because he was a brute. Of course his dad decided not to neuter him.

I remember when we first saw him, I was the one doing the room and we were trying it out with a muzzle and without sedation, his dad standing in front of him to keep him distracted. The guy was telling the Doctor and I that he had been trying to show his dog. When the Doctor got to the part of the physical where he was checking his legs the dog snapped, to which the guy said, “yeah, the judges didn’t appreciate when he did that”. No shit, guy. I couldn’t (and still can’t) believe he tried showing that dog. Of course show dogs don’t wear muzzles either. Way to put people at risk of a bad dog bite, dude. That was the best that dog ever did for any appointment. After that was when we learned he’d have to be sedated.

Although we didn’t have many cane corsos come in, each one showed aggression since the puppy stage and increasingly got worse.

Other breeds that were iffy for me were anxious, high-strung large breeds like malinois, shepherds, huskies, vizslas, doodles, cattle dogs, great danes. I didn’t necessarily always think of them to be aggressive (although ofc there were those that were) but they were usually worked up and not well behaved even if they weren’t aggressive. Most of our clients that got those dogs didn’t properly train them or give them enough exercise. They just got them for appearances and didn’t do their research.

There are definitely small breeds that are commonly anxious too, like pugs for example, but at least they take less strength and energy to hold/restrain. As for chihuahuas, although I can agree they can be iffy as well, I was called the “chihuahua whisperer” where I worked so they really didn’t bother me. I handled most of them and there was only one who was tough for me. I had to treat her like an aggressive cat with cat gloves just to get her in and out of her carrier. It was weird because she was fine until all of a sudden she wasn’t.

👆don’t do this with any small/medium fractious (or nervous) dog

[agustdef]

With All My Heart

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Hoseok x Doctor!Reader.

Genre: Established Relationship; Angst; Fluff

Word Count: 11K

Warning: Angsty. Language...?; Mention of Death; Mentions of mental health struggles

Rating: PG15

Banner Maker: @httpangelicjimin​ who was wonderful enough to remake this one after realized the other wouldn’t work and then proceeded to use it for I Found You.

Beta Reader: @suhdays​ who knew I was in a rush and was kind enough to offer to beta it for me without me asking. 

When Hoseok came home from his last appointment, he found the apartment mostly silent and way cleaner than when he’d left that morning. Probably cleaner than after the weekly Sunday morning routine was finished, which was impressing and worrisome. But also made him hopeful.

After discarding his shoes and jacket at the door, he headed to the bedroom where he found YN already settled into bed. She wore a large shirt – with the words fight me with a leprechaun on front – that she’d probably stolen from Yoongi’s closet during their last visit, her bonnet, and a koala face mask. Her eyes were focused on the TV on the wall opposite their bed and she hummed along with the intro to the anime she was watching.

It was the most relaxed he’d seen her in weeks.

“Hey baby,” he said.

That drew her attention towards him, and she smiled when they locked eyes, though that stopped as soon as her mask shifted. She was happy to see him and had missed him after the day she’d spent alone. Not that she was lonely or anything, but it felt nice to break away from being by herself.

“Hi. You’re home early. I thought you had to work on that big piece tonight?” she said.

That made Hoseok annoyed in an instant. He huffed and rolled his eyes while his fingers ran through his hair. The memory of the evening he had before, and after he finished what turned into his last client filled his head.

“She called and said she couldn't make it. Which was fine, because I wasn't up to working on it tonight anyway. I'm still feeling sick I guess. But, then she kept changing her mind, and when she finally decided to come - and said she was on her way - she didn't come at all. No response to calls or any of the messages I sent. But I was scrolling through the shop's feed while waiting for my other person only to see her at some other shop we follow getting a different tattoo. I just told her that if she wasn’t going to honor appointments and give me the run around, then we weren’t the right fit.”

In response YN frowned. It was clear how annoyed and tired he was, even without the added stress of a wishy washy, client who just thought they could do whatever the hell they wanted when requesting someone’s time. She wanted to knock the girl upside her head, but it wasn’t realistic, and she’d never go out of her way to attack someone. Though the idea of cussing her out if she appeared at the shop when YN was around didn’t seem too terrible of a plan.

However, that wasn’t something that either of them lingered on long because Hoseok sneezed five times in a row and by the third he seemed wiped out.

YN took off her mask and threw it in the trash near her side of the bed before hopping up. She opened her bedside table and pulled out a thermometer, which she quickly freed from its little bad as she rounded the bed to where he stood. Hoseok knew better than to argue so his mouth opened before she even raised her arm to stick it in.

They stood there for a moment staring at each other, until they heard the beep and when YN looked at the temperature she winced.

“You went up so much since this morning. You’re practically at fever levels. Go take a shower and get in bed. I’ll get some stuff for you to take,” she said.

There was no way Hoseok would argue with how he felt. It was like once he was at home and stopped moving his body had started to give up. He felt heavy and he ached a little here and there. His head also felt a little weird, but he chalked up part of that to being frustrated. So, once she stepped away from him he dragged himself to the bathroom.

By the time he finished his shower and pulled on some clothes, YN was already back in the room. She’d had a bowl, a mug, and a glass of water sitting on the table near his side of the bed. And she was unfolding a blanket, which Hoseok recognized as one the weighted ones. It was something that YN pulled out whenever one of them was having a tough time sleeping or in general, and when they got sick. Something about the thing eased the body into relaxation that neither of them had ever felt before.

When she noticed his arrival, she smiled at him and patted the bed. Hoseok moved as quickly as his body would allow him and plopped down onto the bed. Before he could do much else she placed the bowl into his hands.

“It’s a mix of the broths from the soup your mom brought and that Mama Min brought. You are to never tell them that I did this. Or that while both are good they taste next level combined. I will not be killed because I took care of you,” she said.

At that Hoseok laughed, and then drank down the broth. YN wasn’t wrong about it being better combined, which was part of the reason he downed it despite the burn he felt. Naturally, YN chastised him as he did because she could see the pain on his face, but he paid her no mind. Once finished, she replaced the bowl with the mug and one look inside had him sitting it down.

“You know I don’t like that version of ginseng. Why can’t I drink the other one?” he whined.

“Because it’s the kind that helps you the most and it hides the taste of the medicine you hate so much. This is your own fault for being a wimp and not wanting to drink it down by itself. So drink it,” she said.

Of course, he didn’t do it right away. Hoseok stared YN down and attempted his best puppy dog eyes and pout, but was met with an unamused expression that became more uncaring as each second passed. That didn’t deter hum though, at least not for about a minute or so when it was clearly she only grew more impatient with him.

With a huff he grabbed the mug and quickly downed the shot of ginseng and medicine. He winced in reaction to how bitter it was and immediately snatched the glass of water up as YN took the mug from him. Once he’d downed that as well she grabbed all the dishes and headed out of the bedroom.

“Get comfortable in bed,” she called back.

Upon return she had both of their 34oz water bottles filled up and ready for them to drink through the night if need be. Which for Hoseok was often while sick and because she’d caught a little of his cold she too needed a few sips at random times if she woke up.

After giving it to him, she climbed into bed and slid under the blanket. It may have been summer but they tended to keep their room on the colder side, which meant that they wouldn’t overheat just because they slept under them; which was good because YN needed to be under a blanket to sleep.

Getting comfortable didn’t take them long, since they were both so wiped out from their days. And despite Hoseok’s sickness they cuddled together, because unlike him YN continued her dose of medicine until it was gone. She knew she wasn’t one hundred percent better even when the symptoms appeared to have left her completely.

They stayed cuddled together for about half an hour watching what YN had on before he’d come home. Nothing felt tense or awkward in their silence, just comfortable and relaxed.

But as time went on Hoseok remembered the feeling he’d had upon his arrival home. The worry that filled him when he saw how much she’d cleaned by herself in the time he’d been gone. And the hope he’d had at knowing she’d found enough energy to even make the effort to clean that much in the first place. She’d been out of it for weeks and it was the first major sign that something changed. Or that’s what he wished for.

Hoseok turned his head to look at her, well more like assess her face. It was relaxed and she seemed genuinely interested in what was on the screen and not off in her own little world. Though once she realized he was staring she turned his way and his assessment was over almost as quickly as it began.

“Can I help you?” she asked, her brow raised.

For a moment Hoseok debated telling her no, but that didn’t sit right with him. He needed to say something or it would bother him until he blurted it out. Or there was a chance she’d bottle it all up and not say anything at all because she was fine or she didn’t want to dump on him because he wasn’t her therapist.

“How was your session?” he asked.

There was a momentary change in her expression, but she didn’t let it linger for long. That made him even more worried, but he waited for her to say something. Though he knew if she was holding back and if he should push her.

“It was fine, I guess. Less crying than usual. We talked about all my other issues and saved how I was feeling about my mom for last. I think she hoped that by keeping me in a time constraint of twenty minutes I’d be forced to get out the main issues first and avoid going off into tangents. She was very wrong about that and the appointment ran for half an hour longer than it should have. I’d gotten so worked up that it wasn’t wise to try to force me down quickly,” she said.

Hoseok nodded along and reached under the blanket to grab her hand but didn’t utter a word. Just like her therapist he wanted her to let things out at her own pace.

“I mean it’s getting easier, but I don’t know. How is one supposed to process the death of their mother? And it doesn’t help that on top of that it’s dealing with how we were estranged. Knowing that my mix of apathy and deep hurt are valid. That it’s okay that I’m not as torn up about her dying as I think I should be. That I’m not torn up about losing a chance at speaking to the sibling that I never wanted to deal with because he moved back to the US. Dealing with calls from a slew of aunts and uncles who regularly give no fucks about me, questioning why I’m not there, and why I chose not to be heavily involved in the process. Why I could only show up. Why I didn’t stay longer.”

The more she spoke the shakier her voice got and it broke Hoseok’s heart. She was getting better and he knew that, but he always knew it was a lot to overcome. The loss of her only parent, despite their relationship, was something hard to deal with or so he imagined it. It had even affected Yoongi a great deal since he’d been close to her before too, but he recovered faster.

More than anything, Hoseok wished he could find some magic way to lessen the pain and confusion for her, but he felt just as helpless as when she found out. She’d come to the shop when she still had six hours of her twelve hour shift left to go and looked in shock. Without a word she’d run into Yoongi’s arms as he’d come out of his room after hearing Jungkook’s frantic calls. There she burst into tears, and through the sobbing told them that her mother had been in a car accident and didn’t make it.

None of them, except Yoongi, had ever seen her cry that hard and he tried his best to be her rock, but he broke with her. They broke down in the middle of the shop, falling to their knees as they cried together. The boys decided to close after that and just let them cry, comforting them when they could. And at some point they called Beau and Mama Min to tell them what had happened.

From there, they had to wait until they were calm enough to get them in a car to head back to Yoongi’s place. There they were met by Beau and Mama Min, who accepted them with open arms. The sobbing started all over again and they slowly got them to calm down enough to eat and shower. Everyone assumed it was a sleepover kind of situation, so they’d gotten Jin and Taehyung to swing by their places to grab stuff for them.

The entire night was just everyone surrounding YN on the makeshift nest they’d made. She never once let go of Yoongi’s hand and he didn’t dare release hers. And as they slept she cuddled into Mama Min’s side holding onto her for dear life with her other hand.

Seeing her shattered like that was eye opening for Hoseok, and he tried his best to make sure she was okay. Work gave her two weeks off, but when she didn’t bounce back quickly they extended the leave for a little longer. Then when that ran out she used vacation time she’d saved up. That was the start of when she actually made progress in not being a shell of her former self and Hoseok would tell her to take off all the time in the world if it meant that she’d be better.

But, as Hoseok sat there thinking about how he wished there was something he could do to fix things he realized there was something he could at least try to make her feel a bit better. And it would allow him to do something that he’d been wanting to for a while.

Smiling at her he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before pulling away and staring into her eyes.

“We haven’t gone out in a while. So, what do you say about us and everyone going out to the beach for a week? We can do it next week too. Go to the beach house and hang out, have some fun,” he said.

For a moment it felt like she’d say no, especially because she looked so emotional, but then she nodded. And Hoseok watched as a smile worked its way onto her lips, bigger and more genuine than he’d seen in a while.

“That sounds like what I need,” she said.

Happy with that, Hoseok leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before pulling away and snuggling into her. They continued their comfortable cuddly night in and slowly drifted to sleep together. Hoseok’s mind focused on planning things out perfectly until he knocked out.

The day before they were to leave to head to the beach house YN had planned to spend it packing and relax because the journey was tiresome. However, Hoseok had other plans and just as she finished packing her stuff he called her to come down to the shop for the night. Saying no was an option, but he sounded so excited that she couldn’t help but say yes.

So, on a Friday night when she could’ve been in her home eating and playing video games she found herself in Hoseok’s tattoo room by herself. Upon her arrival she’d been told he’d run out for a second and would be back in a bit. And in that case a bit meant thirty minutes or so after she got there.

Annoyed was an understatement, especially when she saw that he read the texts she’d sent asking him where he was. When it got too much, she got up to leave, but the moment she put her hand on the knob she was stumbling back because the door was being pushed open from the outside.

Hoseok – sweaty and breathing heavily – held bags of food and balanced multiple drinks in a tray. His eyes were wide and his mouth open in that uncomfortable mouth breathing way. Like YN could see the man’s uvula clear as day.

For a while they stood there staring at each other, that was until Hoseok regained control of his breathing.

“Were you about to leave?”

“Yes. You asked me to come at a specific time and you’re not here. Then I have to wait over thirty minutes where you open and don’t respond to my texts. How much longer did you think I was going to stay? Especially since you asked me to come here when I planned to not leave the couch until I absolutely had to all night,” she said.

At that Hoseok frowned. Moving past her a little he placed the stuff down in the tattoo chair that was reclined back. Then he moved to stand in front of her, his hands cupped her face. He stared at her expression and saw the slight bags under her eyes and the lingering sadness. She’d done so well for almost a week following his proposal of the beach trip, but the last day or two something shifted.

Her mother’s husband had found a way to contact her and it had thrown her off. Though the conversation had gone well it had brought her two steps back. Hoseok had woken up to her crying in the middle of the night and through the tears she’d managed to say that she felt like she was doing something wrong despite knowing she wasn’t. Despite knowing she was doing what was best for her and her mental state she felt like it was all wrong. Overthinking her decisions needlessly. The next morning – after he’d gotten her to sleep – she apologized and told him she knew that she was right and having a conversation with her mother’s husband that didn’t go horribly or fill her with anger felt off.

Things got better after that, but it took more than a moment of clarity and a talk with her therapist over the phone to get her back to where she’d been before. And that was why Hoseok had come up with the idea to call her into the shop. Well Jungkook and Taehyung came up with the idea to take her out before they all left, but he came up with what they’d do.

“I know, but I wanted to do something before we left. I swear we shouldn’t be here all night and I got that burger you were craving,” he said, a pout formed on his lips.

The usual thing would be for YN to throw the smallest of fits because she felt so tired, but his stupid face was there and she couldn’t say no. Plus she hadn’t left the apartment much in a week and needed the change of scenery even if it wasn’t a major one.

YN sighed. “Fine.”

With her answer and the small smile he saw fighting to take form on her lips Hoseok finally stopped his pouting. Leaning forward he pressed a quick kiss to her lips before releasing his hold on her face and moving over to the food. He carefully removed everything from the bags and then ran to put two of the four drinks in the tray into his mini freezer.

All the while YN stood and watched him; she hadn’t wanted to get in the way of what he was doing. The man could be anal about how things were handled when he was attempting to make some nice gesture and she’d been on the end of one of his glares before. Though she knew he wasn’t actually mad she knew not to push it further. There was no need for her to deal with a pouty baby later because things veered off plan; especially since she’d shown up before he could get back.

“Okay, so I know you were craving a burger and I went to the place you like and got you a double cheeseburger with extra pickles and a large fry. Also, a sprite and a chocolate milkshake,” he said.

Hearing him list the things made something stir inside YN. After giving into him she’d gotten less annoyed, but that hadn’t meant her mood shifted completely. Despite not being actively sad she felt down and having him get her the thing she’d been craving and getting her out of the house brightened her day. The corners of her mouth even turned up in a smile, something that hadn’t graced her lips once since she’d arrived – or all that day for that matter.

So, she watched as he excitedly continued and reassured her that the things she didn’t like weren’t on the burger and that he thought it would be good for them to sit in his room to eat. There was something about another plan of his, but she barely heard him as she smiled and watched him closely. His smile grew as he excitedly spoke of his idea, causing her own to do the same.

Hoseok was mid-ramble when he noticed that she was smiling at him. A truly genuine one at that. It made his heart beat a little erratically, but he didn’t mind at all. YN’s happiness was his priority and it felt good for him to see that she looked happy, even for a moment.

“Should we start eating?” he asked.

She nodded and he moved one of his chairs over to her so she could sit down to eat her food at the tattoo chair. In many cases she’d object, but the smell of multiple disinfectants told her that he’d cleaned the thing multiple times before her arrival. Plus, he’d laid a paper you’d see when you went to the doctor over the seat, so there was an added barrier from the food and the not so cleanly people who sometimes sat in it.

Though her mouth watered at the smell and the visual of her food YN waited until Hoseok was seat in his own chair across from her. He gave her a pointed look that she knew well from all the times he got annoyed at her not just eating and she dug into it without a word.

Not speaking was something they maintained for a few minutes before Hoseok swallowed a bite that he barely chewed.

“Did you finish getting everything ready?” he asked.

She nodded, because unlike him she liked to chew her food quite a bit before swallowing it.

“Yeah. Everything of mine is packed, as well as stuff we need for the beach, most of the snacks, and I grabbed all your stuff but didn’t pack it.”

Hoseok scoffed. “Good.”

At that she couldn’t help but to roll her eyes.

“You could’ve just let me pack it all for you. That way you don’t have to worry about it when you get home. Plus, you’re going to ask me to help when something doesn’t fit anyway,” she mumbled.

“I can back my own stuff. I’m a big boy. Besides who says I’ll need your help this time, I’m not even taking a whole lot with me.”

There was no verbal response to that, just a shake of the head as she gave up on the topic. At the end of the day she knew she was right and that Hoseok would come to her whining about something not fitting right or being unable to zip the bag. And the solution would be to refold something, rearrange how things sat, or make him realize he didn’t need as many pairs of shoes as he packed. And he definitely didn’t need to bring multiple colors of the same chunky, ugly pair of shoes that she hated.

She wished she could burn them but he loved them too much.

From there silence persisted for a bit and then she randomly turned her head to see a sketch on his wall of an anime she’d watched a long time ago. Naturally, that started a whole conversation about it and how much Hoseok hadn’t liked it as a kid. Something about his sister forcing him to watch it and him not liking the main character. Which led to a discussion about other main characters they both didn’t like. It spiraled into the difference between characters made unlikable as a part of their stories and how some were just not great and people played them off as unlikable on purpose. That didn’t stop people critiquing them though. Definitely didn’t stop YN.

As they talked their food lessened until it was gone. Hoseok took the initiative to clean it up and directed YN to the freezer. She grabbed their shakes and sat the one that was clearly white and black down on his side, grabbing a straw and jabbing it into her own cup. Her lips wrapped around it to pull some of the frozen treat up, but she struggled with how thick it was. When she finally got some out she pulled away with a smile.

“I see it’s up to your standards of thick. Sure you don’t want a spoon?” he asked upon his return to the seat.

YN shook her head vigorously and went in for more. Part of her brain hated the struggle, but the joy that filled her each time she finally got some was too great. The thick milkshakes were always the best.

While she did that Hoseok moved to his computer and turned on some music, his usual tattooing playlist blasted through the speakers. He turned it down when he saw YN flinch and then slid his chair back over to the seat. He grabbed his own straw and milkshake and sucked it down. It was thick, but the normal kind. No part of him had the patience to wrestle with his food or drink, so despite how much creamier it was her way he chose not to suffer.

About half the milkshake was gone before he got up from the seat and snatched YN’s from her hand – despite protest – to put back in the freezer. When he turned around he was met with her pouting and he wanted to give it back but they had other things to do as well.

“There’s another reason I asked you to come,” Hoseok said.

“Which is?”

He didn’t respond, just gathered a few things and prepped his small rolling table for tattooing before pushing towards her. There was no time to process what he meant by the action because then he was whipping off his shirt and taking a seat in the tattoo chair.

His intentions were beyond clear.

“Today?” she asked.

“Today.”

“But I-”

“Aht, no buts. You’re ready to do this and you were so excited to get to tattoo an actual person. So, today you’re going to do me and then Yoongi another time. Probably the others too since they’re all babies who can’t be left out.” He rolled his eyes while he said the last bit.

“That’s so many, I didn’t sign up for that. And why now? I’m not prepared for this. I don’t even have the stencil ready or-”

Again she didn’t get far because Hoseok pointed to a sheet of paper on the table that had various copies of the tattoo they’d agreed on and a pair of scissors.

The man had truly taken the time to make sure that everything was set. Which was sweet, but also spiked YN’s nerves. So much that any sadness that she’d felt was nowhere on her mind.

Hesitation was clear on her face as Hoseok watched her and he worried she was stuck amid her sadness, but then he noticed the nervous glint in her eyes. He found it cute that the woman cut open people for a living and was worried about how her tattoo would come out. Even though she caught onto tattooing faster than anyone in the shop and had the steadiest hand of all of them.

Reaching over Hoseok cupped her face and forced her gaze on him.

“You’ll do fine. We chose this tattoo because it was quick and basic. Line work and some shading. You even did it a million times on oranges, lemons, and grapefruit. It’ll be great,” he encouraged.

There was an urge to protest, but YN didn’t. She rose from her seat and walked out of the room. She went to wash her hands and then came back to slip gloves onto them. She lifted the arm rest and placed his arm on it, careful to look around for a good spot. Hoseok was tattooed almost completely on both arms, but there was a spot on his left forearm that had enough space.

From there she was kind of on autopilot. She cut the stencil and placed it on the spot to double check that it would work. Once pleased she set it back on the table and grabbed an antiseptic wipe to clean the area. She spent way too much time on that, but Hoseok didn’t comment on it. Before she knew it she was actually placing the stencil onto his skin and peeling it off, the thin purple lines transferred perfectly.

By then the nerves had returned and she was ready to back down, but then she made eye contact with Hoseok and he gave her an encouraging smile. She couldn’t stop then, she needed to see the tattoo through.

She got the gun and the ink ready, but the vibe felt off. So, without a word she rolled over to the computer and pulled off a glove. There were several clicks before Jonghyun’s beautiful voice filled the space. It was the first song on her surgery playlist and in a way tattooing was like that, so it was the perfect relaxer.

After replacing the glove she took off with another one she got to work. The tip of the needle dipped into the black ink and using her free hand she pressed Hoseok’s arm down and began the tattoo.

The design was a crescent moon – which would be shaded in – and a sun combined. Where the moon stopped lines and dots of varying lengths were used to make clear that it was the sun. Nothing intricate, but still something she worried about messing up.

Her movements were careful and steady, her hand moving easily as she traced the outline of the moon. It took her shorter than she thought even with her excessive wiping, but she wasn’t pleased with the outcome. It wasn’t bad at all, basically perfect. However, she’d been so nervous that the lines were too thin.

“If you want it thicker you can do it. I know Yoongi worked with you on that the last few sessions. I only taught you to start with thinner lines just in case you’re unsure,” Hoseok offered as if he read her mind.

YN nodded, chewing on her lower lip as she went in again. That time her lines were a little heavier and though part of her worried that it was a mistake to make them that thick, by the time she’d finished and wiped the excess she was pleased with it.

Being happy with her outcome meant that she felt more confident, which meant she went into the next part with less worry. She shaded the moon in with vigor and had to mutter a few apologies when Hoseok whined about her being too aggressive. It was just that she got excited and so into the work.

Which meant that she didn’t notice Yoongi when he’d silently entered the room. He stood behind her, though about a foot away so he wasn’t crowding her. Him and Hoseok watched as she finished the shading and went on to the lines to create the sun. Her hand moved carefully as she did and though there were a few curses when she thought she messed up, there were also those lightbulb moments when she realized she could make up the length with a few extra dots. Nothing ruined at all.

Once finished she set the gun to the side and carefully used the other items on the table to clean it. Seeing the cleaned version had her scared it was a mess, but the more she stared at it the more she liked it.

“You did good. How the hell did you get that to curve so fluidly?” Yoongi said, startling her with his sudden presence.

“She was so worried she’d mess up, I told her it would be fine,” Hoseok said.

Involuntarily, YN rolled her eyes. They enjoyed double teaming her on everything, but self-doubt was by far their favorite.

“Let the man see the new tattoo,” Yoongi said, playful nudging her shoulder.

Her eyes widened as she remembered he couldn’t see it well from the angle he was at and she moved away from the chair so he could get up. Hoseok immediately went over to the floor length mirror hanging near the door. He held out his arm and examined it closely – and for way too long – without saying anything. If he hadn’t smiled before he spoke she would’ve thrown up in fear he hated it.

“I told you, you’d do good baby,” he said.

Tension melted from her body at that and Hoseok watched on in joy. Not only had she accomplished her first tattoo, but she also appeared genuinely happy. There was nothing about her that exuded sadness or showed that she was even vaguely in a low place. It didn’t mean she was completely free from the thoughts, but it did mean that she wasn’t caught up in them enough to show any outward reactions. And since she wasn’t the best at keeping her emotions hidden and bottled up that was a win.

From the eye contact he made with Yoongi for a moment the older male also appeared to think so. Flashing Hoseok a thumbs up when YN wasn’t looking.

The first part of Hoseok’s plan was a success.

The trip to the beach was long and started early. They’d rented a twelve-seater van to drive there and alternated drivers. Jungkook, Yoongi, and YN switched out every two hours so no one got too complacent or tired with the six hour drive. It was trying sometimes because of stupid drivers or someone complaining too much, but they made it there without anyone killing someone else.

A true win.

They arrived at the beach house late afternoon and decided they’d spend that night in. None of them had enough energy from the trip to anything and they had a full week to venture out. Plus avoiding the massive crowd on a Saturday night was a win.

Food was ordered in front various places because everyone either wanted something different or couldn’t make up their mind on what they wanted at all. Dinner was eaten and though it started off with minimal conversation they all eventually started talking about random things and eventually it led to talk of what they would do the next day. Hoseok mentioned something about the amusement park nearby, which got YN excited immediately and everyone agreed with that.

However, the quickness in which they all said yes wasn’t lost on YN despite her excitement. Usually they all took forever deciding what to do on any group outing and when they did there was some sort of whining. But everyone had agreed and then went about eating like everything was fine. No questions asked. No adjustments to time. No concerns about being there for so long. Just compliance.

It was something YN planned to ask about and fight against if they were doing it because she wanted to. Them giving in just because it would make her happy because she’d been so down wasn’t something she was okay with. The thought was nice, but she preferred they did their own things if that’s what they wanted. But she didn’t get to ask because everyone finished and before she knew it Hoseok escorted her to their room.

And like clockwork her body felt heavy the moment her eyes laid on the bed. Not even the pretty view from their balcony could draw her in. Which made it easy for Hoseok to maintain control to get her in the shower and then bed in the matter of thirty minutes.

By the time her head hit the pillow she felt refreshed, but like she’d cried for a few hours straight. The kind of tired where you don’t really feel one with the world and everything is almost like an outsider looking in. Though when she looked at Hoseok he grounded her a bit.

He took a few minutes longer to get into the bed after she did, slipping in wearing nothing but his boxers. Which was fine because she was in short shorts and a crop top. Something that seemed to warrant him poking her stomach every so often, which she allowed to happen because she didn’t have it in her to stop him.

Hoseok knew what he was doing too and that he’d pay for it once she slept, though she tended to forget things when too tired. But he stopped his poking and prodding after a few seconds, preferring to pull her close so they were cuddled together. Her leg thrown over him and their faces resting inches away from each other. He wanted to stay up a little and talk, but her eyes were closed and her breathing slowing.

For once she didn’t argue about it only being 8:00pm and thus too early to sleep. She’d say that every time they went on a trip, but more than anything she’d been saying it since after her mother’s funeral. Even when she looked exhausted and mentally not there she refused to sleep that early. So it felt good to see her not do it for once and after placing a kiss on her lips that thought lulled Hoseok to sleep.

Because they’d fallen asleep so early everyone was up at around seven the next morning. Well, everyone except for Jin, Beau and YN. They’d all woken up and ventured out of their rooms at around five almost six and decided yoga was the move. They gathered on the back patio of the house where you could see the beach and got to work.

Yoga was something that Jin and YN did regularly. The hospital had classes for all the staff to take and they’d gone with no intentions to ever do it again, but then realized how good they felt the days after. From then on they went to the classes or met up in a secluded part of a park early in the morning to do it before going out for breakfast or something. Beau joined in once when YN did it at home and then usually join her anytime he saw her doing it. Sometimes even joining her and Jin when they ventured out.

It was a great first moment of the vacation and one of the few times she’d felt so at peace in a long while.

From there they showered, got dressed, and went down to make breakfast. They’d picked up some groceries before getting to the house so they didn’t have to worry about it later.

By the time they finished everyone was up. Food was consumed at an alarming rate and everyone got ready with the same quickness. They wanted to get to the park at opening so they could have a better chance to get on everything. Which led to a lot of yelling and rushing people to hurry up and get to the van.

Hoseok took it upon himself to drive them there and as the rides came into view the closer they got the more excited YN got. She bounced in her seat and almost opened her door before the car came to a full stop.

That was dangerous and with the way Yoongi looked at her Hoseok thought she’d get scolded, but in fact the older man was upset that she tried to cheat. Which confused Hoseok until he whipped the door open and sprinted towards the entrance, YN hot on his heels and yelling about who was the real cheater.

It was like watching two children and goodness did it make Hoseok feel good.

When the others reached them they both stood there with big smiles and holding wrist bands, all of them the kind that were used for those with fast passes.

Hoseok narrowed his eyes at them, but neither of them looked regretful about what they’d done. In fact, they both appeared way too smug.

“What did we say about you two buying everything before anyone gets a chance? It’s not allowed on this trip or any trip,” Beau said.

Yoongi and YN turned to each other and shrugged, then thrusted a wristband into everyone’s hands. Since it wasn’t their first time out with the two amusement park junkies they all knew to get the bands on quickly, as if their lives depended on it. Yoongi had once wrapped Jungkook’s so tight that it limited circulation in his hand and they had to get another.

No one wanted to repeat that.

Without missing a beat they walked towards the workers scanning people in, leaving the others to catch up. Both of them were several feet inside the park by the time the others caught up again. They stood perfectly still and took in the park. One could feel the excitement that radiated off them.

It took Taehyung clearing his throat multiple times before they turned to face the rest of the group. Though that only lasted for a second before they were focused on each other.

“We meet here in four hours?” YN asked.

Yoongi nodded. “Right here and then I kick your ass in everything.”

That made YN scoff but she refrained from any trash talk in retaliation, there was always enough of that during them playing the games. Besides her focus was on something else.

Off in the distance was a ride that was way too high and moved way too fast – by even her standards – but the expression on her face showed how much she wanted to try it. So, without a word to the others Hoseok walked forward, grabbed her hand, and headed towards it. Everyone else went their own way, except for Jungkook and Taehyung who followed behind them. Hoseok felt like he was going to be sick the whole way, but YN and Jungkook reassured him the whole time while Taehyung poked fun at him, though it was clear that was only to calm his own nerves.

Once on the thing they all were ready to shit themselves but pushed through and as the it reached the first drop. YN and Hoseok made eye contact for a second and there was a reassuring feeling that flowed through them, but the next thing they knew they were sailing through the air so quickly it took a moment for her to breathe properly again.

The entire ride there was no moment to relax or get used to it. Even knowing what was to come didn’t make it any easier to adjust.

It was exhilarating.

That feeling is why Taehyung and Hoseok ended up waiting as YN and Jungkook went on again. Neither of them wanted to relive that and the fast pass line wasn’t that long, so they just sat on a bench a few yards from where the line-up started.

“So, are you going to do it today?” Taehyung asked, his voice a bit strained.

At first Hoseok was confused by the question and then it dawned on him what he meant. A different kind of discomfort settled in him at the thought of saying yes and so he shook his head quickly.

“Definitely not,” he muttered.

Taehyung turned to look at him with a raised brow and confusion.

“I thought that was the plan? Get her all happy and then do it? Don’t tell me you’re chickening out?” he teased.

Hoseok reached over and lightly punched his shoulder, a soft – but nervous – laugh escaping his lips.

“I’m going to, just not today. I want to make sure she’s good first. I’d hate to do it while she’s still wrapped up in sadness. That would make the whole thing much more complicated than it already is.”

At that Taehyung shrugged and turned his attention back towards the ride. They sat in a comfortable silence watching it climb high and then drop, looping a few times before it climbed again. It was more nerve wrecking watching it move like that then being on it, but that didn’t mean that Hoseok wished he was on it instead. He never planned to get on that ride again if he could help it.

About twenty minutes or so passed before they both returned and then everyone was off to other rides. They were all their own level of terrifying, but as they ran from ride to ride Hoseok got used to the fear and thrill that came along with them. He’d even agreed to go on one twice, which made YN beyond happy. Especially since she could see the eagerness was genuine. As if him being the one to request they go again wasn’t clear enough.

They continued on like that for a while, though eventually Jungkook wanted to circle back to get on something they’d all said no to. He convinced Taehyung to go with him and then Hoseok and YN were traversing the park alone.

A few more rides after the departure of the others and Hoseok forced a stop for food. Which wasn’t a whole lot and less than Hoseok would’ve liked her to eat, but it was more than she’d had some of the days from weeks before. A win in his book.

Before they went to get on some more rides they stopped to get a dessert, which was ice cream wrapped in a crepe. The park hadn’t had it the last time they’d come to it and that made YN all the more eager to indulge. They reminded her of ones she’d had in Japan when she’d gone for six months to study in high school. They tasted like them too.

“I don’t know if I should get another one now or later when we’re about to leave,” she said.

Hoseok laughed as he watched her devour it.

“I think I saw a stand with it near the entrance so you can get it when we leave,” he offered.

Though she looked conflicted at first, she smiled and nodded after a bit. No matter how practiced she was at eating and getting on rides too much dairy was a mistake. Fifteen-year-old her learned that the hard way.

After food was consumed, they went on a few more rides and then headed back toward where they were to meet with fifteen minutes to spare. The walk was taken slowly and they intertwined fingers as they went.

It was a moment of peace among the chaos and when YN looked at Hoseok with one of the brightest smiles he’d seen in a while he felt near tears. She’d been so happy and never once did her expression falter or her body language shift negatively. There was so much freedom and joy radiating from her and despite his optimism he’d been scared she’d stay shrouded in darkness for forever. So to have that voice in his head silenced because she was there and existing outside of it was just the best thing to happen to him.

Everything wasn’t fixed, but it was better than nothing.

Yoongi was at the meeting point with an irritated Beau who held a large stuffed bear. Most would question why Beau looked that way, but by the shifting that Yoongi was doing and the wide smile it was clear that he’d challenged his boyfriend to a few games and then mercilessly beat him.

Upon seeing a smiling YN though Beau’s expression shifted to mimic the smile on her face and so did Yoongi’s for a moment. However, YN was in competition mode and when he noticed that he was as well.

Not a word was uttered between them as they left their significant others to head towards the games and neither of them said anything about it. They merely trailed behind them and watched as they tried to one up each other.

Who knows how much time passed or how many prizes were handed over to kids or anyone standing nearby before everyone was gathered together watching them. Though it was tiring to stand there and see them go on forever there was also this mutual contentment as they all looked on. It was as if they were all on the same wavelength with how nice it was to see either of them back to some sort of normalcy.

“Has she been like this all day?” Beau whispered.

Hoseok nodded, his eyes never leaving them.

“Yeah. She’s been so happy and carefree. I don’t think she’s thought about it once all this time. And it doesn’t feel like she’s faking it,” he said.

There was a nod from Beau in response and then all the focus was back on them.

YN being that happy that quickly wasn’t what Hoseok foresaw at all, but it was nice to see that the second part of what he planned worked out well. He only hoped that it was doing some actual, concrete good for her mentally and that the last part of everything would go as smoothly.

Four days into their trip YN decided that Hoseok was acting weird. Though weird was something normal for his behavior it was a different type. He was attentive and kind, but also drifted off into his own head a lot and didn’t put up a fight when asked to do something that wasn’t necessarily in his comfort zone. She hadn’t pushed his limits by any means and accepted no when he said it, but for the most he gave in without a second thought.

Of course, his efforts were appreciated greatly, but that was what worried her the most. She knew how down she’d been and how the call from her mother’s husband had changed her. It was clear as day to her how she was acting and she wished she could snap her fingers and stop, but that wasn’t possible. And since she knew that, so did Hoseok and that meant he’d ramped up on trying to keep her at the very least not actively sad. All his free time was spent trying to help and look after her. The trip was just another one of those things and though she jumped at the prospect of being away from home to enjoy herself – and had enjoyed herself – she feared him taking things a step too far to please her.

No matter her mental state there would be no excuse for any damage she could do to his if that was the case. So YN planned to talk to him about it one morning, but she was redirected by Yoongi to get ready. Apparently he wanted to take her out for the day, just the two of them. Something she happily agreed to on the compromise of her going to talk to Hoseok about a thing first, but that was shot down by being told he’d headed out a few minutes beforehand. Which meant she had no other choice but to do as she was told, but with a pout.

Despite her mopey mood she didn’t take long to get dressed. Mostly because when she’d entered the room she found a pair of shorts and one of her long sleeve tops laid out for her. Yoongi promptly informed her he didn’t want her taking forever so he’d done it for her. It wasn’t out of the norm since he’d done it many times throughout their lives because supposedly she moved too slow or always grabbed the one thing in her wardrobe he hated with a passion. After a while she learned to just let it happen.

Once ready to go Yoongi grabbed her hand and practically dragged her from the house. It took some begging and mild threats to get him to not hold her hand so tight and slow down. From there he was less aggressive, but still held her hand firmly in his. She was fine with that because it was a habit from childhood that they never grow out of. As long as his bony fingers didn’t dig into her hand or squeeze too tight she was fine.

During their walk they didn’t speak, which was fine. They both tended to be quiet people and silences were rarely awkward. Walking for ten minutes to the nearby cafe bookstore was nothing in the realm of how long they could be around each other and not utter a single word.

“I wanted us to relax before dinner later. You know they’re all going to get drunk and it’ll be a mess. So, some peace and quiet for now,” Yoongi said once they entered.

That made YN smile wide. Even without the reason she loved the idea of spending a few hours there.

“You sure it’s not because they let you take naps here whenever we come?” she teased.

Yoongi laughed. “That too. A peaceful nap.”

With that she nodded and finally removed her hand from his. She shooed him away to see if any good seats were open and then headed off to buy their drinks. All of her will was used not to stop and look at books that caught her eye as she walked to the counter. The man wanted a nap, but him waiting too long for his favorite hot chocolate wasn’t on the table. Plus, there was something about being inside the place that calmed her so much that she was a bit tired herself.

After she grabbed the hot chocolates she searched for him and was beyond happy to find him at the reclining chairs in a back corner. Not daring to destroy the nice atmosphere of the space she merely handed him his drink and plopped down into her own chair. Her body relaxed instantly. It was asking her to sleep, but she wanted to drink her hot chocolate first. That lasted maybe ten minutes before she and Yoongi drifted off.

Sometimes she didn’t remember how much having a good time and being happy could drain from a person, no matter how much sleep they got.

When they finally woke up, panic filled YN because she’d misread the clock as saying four hours had passed, but it was barely an hour. The darkness only exacerbated that, but she was thankful her eyes adjusted before she shook Yoongi awake.

Since she felt refreshed from the nap the urge to explore books overcame her again. Instead of ignoring it she left Yoongi to continue his napping and looked around the store.

A lot of what did interest her were things she had read, were on her to read list, or by someone who wasn’t the greatest person despite their excellent writing. The things she did find that didn’t fit into that were all so tempting and she wanted to get them all but knew better than to do that. Her to read list was long and she didn’t need a million more books. So, she settled on getting the top three and took pictures of the others to buy at a later date.

By the time she made her purchase Yoongi had woken up and joined her at the register. He appeared rested and much peppier than he had before, which made her happy to see.

“Should we head back now?” she asked.

He nodded and then they were holding hands and walking back to the beach house.

The silence on the way back didn’t exist. Yoongi asked about what books she’d gotten and some other book she’d gotten a while ago that he’d been interested in. She agreed to give it to him and just as they reached the house and she prepared to ask if he wanted the book’s sequel as well he stopped abruptly.

Confusion coloring her face YN turned her head to look at him and was met with a tense expression. However, before she could question it he spoke.

“You’re okay, right? Actually okay, not the fake okay?” he asked.

YN felt a pang in her heart and her eyes watered for a second, but she pushed that all down. She wouldn’t dare make him more worried than he’d already been, especially when there was nothing to worry about.

“I’m okay. In fact, I’m as close to content as I’ve been in a while,” she said.

His entire demeanor changed when she said the word content. It was a signal of sorts. Something that they’d both learned they wanted through therapy. Happiness was great but being content and not so much good or bad was always the goal. As long as they could reach contentment all would be fine.

Though relaxed he didn’t stop staring her down for a moment and then after a firm squeeze of her hand – that she returned – he started walking again.

Inside the house everyone was putting the finishing touches on the dinner they’d decided on for the evening. It was a night in, which meant cooking and Jungkook had said that meant it needed to be an extra meal. So, him, Jin, Jimin, and Namjoon had spent a lot of time getting everything prepped and cooked. YN had wanted to help and even offered once Yoongi and her returned, but they were done and shooed her out to the patio so they could bring the food out.

Hoseok, who she’d seen maybe twice that whole day, pulled her down onto the seat next to him and immediately moved in for a kiss. That elicited some gagging from Beau which was met with a middle finger from both Hoseok and YN all without pulling away from each other.

They did part when the first of many dishes were placed on the table though. And without hesitation – once everyone was seated and Jin gave his go ahead – they began grabbing the things they wanted or moving them in range.

There was just so much. They’d made kimchi stew, bulgogi, pork ribs, fried rice, curry, and braised chicken. And of course, enough white rice that would satisfy even YN.

Bloated wasn’t even the word that truly captured how YN felt by the end of it all. Though happy was definitely a descriptor. They’d eaten, talked, and down alcohol. Jokes and stories were told, laughed about, and denied with intense vigor all around. It was a peaceful moment despite the chaos and watching her family just be together always filled her with such joy.

She could stay like that forever, but of course that was a no.

About thirty minutes after she’d had her last bite Hoseok suggested they go on a walk while they waited for the others to return with the chosen dessert. No was on the tip of her tongue, but he reminded her walking could help her feel better. Plus, he had a look in his eye that reminded her that she’d wanted to talk to him about something before.

So, they kicked off their shoes and headed down the beach. Hoseok laced their fingers together and led her away from the house. At first they said nothing, but then at the exact same time they spoke.

“YN-”

“Can we talk-”

They both paused and looked at each other with wide eyes before descending into laughter. It took a moment or two, but they collected themselves soon enough and continued their trek.

“You first,” he said.

YN nodded. “I want to thank you for all of this. It was what I needed and I’m so happy to have all this time with you and everyone else. Being with the people I loved most and who love me. Having fun that I haven’t had in a while. Having moments where I feel content, even if it’s fleeting. I haven’t had a bad day for the last few days and I haven’t even thought about anything really. And even if I did it was such a fleeting moment that I only barely remember it happened at all.”

“But?” Hoseok said when she paused.

“But I worry about taking advantage of all of you. I know that I’m not and everyone is happy to be here for a good time and to offer all the support in the world. I know that that feeling is for naught. But I realized how much you’ve given into me the last few days and it makes me feel like I may be crossing a line. You’ve had to deal with me being distraught and not myself for weeks. Never able to escape that unless out at work or I’m with someone else. And then you plan this and you give into my every whim. You do things that I know make you uncomfortable. Even if I’m not pushing you on certain things and I know I’m not crossing any hard lines it still feels wrong. And I’m sorry about that,” she said.

That ended in them coming to an abrupt stop. Hoseok released her hand and moved to stand in front of her, his hands moving to cup her face.

“Baby, you don’t have to worry about any of that. You have not crossed a line or made me do anything I didn’t choose to do. I’m fine. Did I agree to a few things that scare me or make me cautious? Yes. Did I do them partly because they made you happy? Yes. But like I said, it was my choice. I wanted to try them and that was an extra incentive. Seeing you smile or be in the moment was the greatest incentive in the world. I wouldn’t change doing those things. And I know you’re worried about what all this or your behavior could have done to my mental health, but I’m good there too. It hurt me to see you like that, but I processed that in therapy. Dr. Seo was more than willing to take me in more than once a month to process all this. I swear to you I’m fine.”

There was clear uncertainty in her eyes despite what he said. Hoseok could see it and though he wished she’d just believe him he knew that wasn’t how the mind worked. Sometimes things took a while to process or a little more assurance needed to be given.

After taking a deep breath he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, one she returned without hesitation. When he pulled away one of his hands slipped from her face as their foreheads pressed together.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

The next few moments happened in a weird space where everything moved too fast and too slow. Hoseok’s other hand moved from her face and he pulled away from her, but before anything could be said or done on her end he was down on one knee with a ring in his hand.

YN had no time to process it before he started talking.

“This week was about making you feel even an ounce of happiness, but it was also about finding the right time to ask you. YN you know I love you with my entire being. How you love yourself, me, and our little family brings me such joy. How you live to be the best you and know that you’re not always going to get it right. How you know yourself enough to know how to handle your problems. You realize how off you’re being and take the time to self-assess, not just because of you but because of me. So you’re not doing anything that could affect me. That could lead to unintentional behavior that could harm me. You grow so much all the time and it feels impossible for you to put forth any more effort than you already do.

“You just make me feel so happy. Doesn’t matter if it’s from watching you be that way, you making me feel that way, or the reminder that I can be happy on my own despite you. That I can stand alone in happiness that doesn’t revolve around you or anyone else. Something I struggled with so much before. You’ve helped so much by just being you. And though I know that we have cemented our relationship already, I still want to do this. It would truly be the best thing in the world if you married me, baby.”

YN had worked through the initial shock and was much calmer than when he’d started talking. Her brain fought to keep up with the words and her heart soared as she took them in. It’s why she didn’t hesitate in responding with a yes.

Without missing a beat Hoseok slipped the ring on her finger and rose onto his feet. He pulled her into a tight hug and whispered ‘I love you’ over and over. In the distance there were cheers from their friends who had watched on from the back patio. She hadn’t even realized they’d turned and walked back towards the house once she’d started talking. But that didn’t matter at all. At least not in that moment.

The calm that she felt mattered. The excitement she felt mattered. The content feeling that washed over her mattered.