#and also not have wizard hubris which i know is impossible for you

[warlordfelwinter]

my type is waterdhavians who have fucked deities

[ap-trash-compactor]

neither of these comments are mine, but i feel like they both separately encapsulate my whole... general feeling on where zahn has gone with new canon thrawn. bitterness below the cut.

from one friend:

Like how is he in the Empire and a good person and not had to constantly come close to compromising his ideals?Or have guilt about things he's donwI know, Because he's Thrawn and smarts his way out of it.If only everyone were so smart in the empire they wouldn't have to be evil. Har.

you know what? because it bears repeating, i’m gonna repeat the part that encapsulates what i find, frankly, most repulsive about all this:

If only everyone were so smart in the empire they wouldn't have to be evil. Har.

like, fuck all the way off. and yet.... yup, it checks out. i hate it.

i told another friend how much i prefer legends thrawn’s fatal flaw of having a huge ego and literally dying because of it, and opined that i really dislike that this thrawn would never be killed by rukh, and was treated to this:

yeah this thrawn would be like 19 steps ahead of rukh and then be like "but, oups, i failed to adequately lick the boots of some moff putting my plans to foil and humiliate rukh in momentary jeopardy but luckily one of my few random friends picked up my slack, everything tied up nicely, the end"and yeah as an author if you've got to pick a single fatal flaw, hubris is the way to go, way more scope for creativity than "lack of political savvy"and it's weird cause tz has said in multiple interviews that he is writing new canon thrawn to be continuity compatible with previous thrawns as much as possible and i'm like...are you not...not noticing??? that the current thrawn you're writing is WAY different???

which... yes, that. all... just aaaaalllll that.

i s2g “i disagree w his choice of position” is my only cold comfort tbh. like, i am clinging to that for dear life, because the fact that he is STILL, still, still, still choosing the empire, that is... something. but TZ’s been high as a kite on his Not All Imperials thing since, like, Allegiance, i.e. 500 pages of the Goodest Boy Stormtroopers (with bonus weird Right Wing American Propaganda vibe) that was... just. oof. 

of all the SW authors zahn seems increasingly to be the one who most obstinately and intentionally insists on missing the point about what the empire is. not what certain bad people in it do, but what it, as a structure, inherently is. and it’s super frustrating because there are books where he’s definitely shown that he’s capable of getting it. 

so like... please god let a post space-whales adventure return us to TTT Thrawn. let’s see him become the guy who regrets that he’ll never understand that one piece of art because he “destroyed their world,” the guy who bombs the Noghri’s already devastated homeworld because they got mouthy with him, the guy who talks a smooth game while pellaeon tells the audience sotto vocce that he’s just turned an entire planet into a glorified farming depot and the people into slaves who will be worked for increasingly impossible quotas until their world dies, the guy who paralyzes coruscant by filling the sky with asteroids and hey if they fall on you and cause massive devastation and civilian death that’s just your fucking problem isn’t it new republic because that’s what happens to the disobedient, the guy who murders one of his crew on the bridge for being inadequate, the guy who drinks beer in the middle of the day, the guy who is arrogant enough to believe he can control an insane psychic space wizard and has literally no plan for doing other so than ‘because i said so,’ the guy who gets himself killed because while he’s been busy stroking himself off for working out the rebel’s clever plans he’s also been too blind to even consider that the people he’s pegged as totally and utterly subjugated by him (because he doesn’t actually understand the difference between loyalty and enslavement) would ever be able to figure out what he’s been doing to them all along -- let alone do anything about it. you know, the guy who made zahn famous and popular in the first fucking place.

[juniper-and-lamplight]

Podfic Favorites

7/8/2018

I promised a rebloggable podfic rec list, and here it is! I've recced most of these before, so this is more of round-up than a brand-new rec list; it's multifandom, as usual; it's organized alphabetically by podficcer's name; and it's restricted to no more than 5 pods per podficcer. All of these and more can be found in the podfic tag of my bookmarks. Recs under the cut!

A Symphony of Chemical Reactions - what_alchemy, read by @cellardoortumbles | Cellar_Door - 2k, 22min, T, John/Sherlock "Cooking’s just chemistry and time management." Vivid, quirky Sherlock POV in the text +  excellent use of music and sound in the pod = an extra-charming podfic. Use headphones to get the full audio experience!

More Things Than Are Dreamt Of series - 1electricpirate, read by @consultingsmartarse |  consulting_smartass - 38k, 1hr, M to E, John/Sherlock (Harry Potter fusion AU) “In which John is (reluctantly) a wizard, Mycroft is (apparently) omniscient, and Sherlock is (surprisingly) oblivious.” Hands-down my favorite Potterlock fic, and consulting_smartass' podfics are nuanced and immersive -- I've listened to them countless times now.

Sussex - SilentAuror, read by consulting_smartass - 26k, 3hrs, E, John/Sherlock “John can’t seem to stop touching Sherlock. He can push the anger away, but sometimes he just needs to take Sherlock’s pulse again. Slight angst, case-fic, post-Reichenbach.” Ah, nothing like realistic emotional constipation on the parts of our heroes. This was one of the first podfics I loved enough to download so that I'd always have access to it.

The Stars Move Still - BeautifulFiction, read by consulting_smartass and aranel_parmadil - 96k, 9hrs 48min, E, John/Sherlock, AU "What could I want so desperately that would make me sell my soul? What could possibly compel me to surrender the part of myself that makes me who I am: the source of my magic, my self-control, everything?" I avoided this fic for YEARS because I hate Faust, so I was extremely pleased to discover that the inspiration is VERY loose and thus, the fic, and the pod version, is lovely and incredibly immersive.

Carry On - Mazarin221b, read by consulting_smartass - 4k, 35min, M, John/Sherlock "Five times John didn't want to be carried, and one time he did." One of my favorite 5+1 fics, and a perfectly paced short pod.

Left - lifeonmars, read by consulting_smartass - 45k, 5hrs, E, John/Sherlock, magical realism AU "John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible." Honestly, consulting_smartass' talent has broadened my fanfic horizons, because while I'm generally not keen on reading AUs (especially long ones), I'm amenable to listening to them -- and so I don't miss out on fantastic fics & performances like this one.

The Girlfriend Experience, rageprufrock, read by dodificus - 9k, 2hrs, E, Dean/Castiel “While it’s not like Dean hasn’t had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.” Sometimes, when a podficcer's accent is different than the accents in the source material, it just works in ways you wouldn't have expected-- this pod is one of those times.

The Company - Rulerofthefakeempire, read by @dr-fumbles-mcstupid | Dr_Fumbles_McStupid and RsCreighton - 2k, 11min, T, Dirk/Todd "He’s imagined this moment so often that it feels like he just doing it again, waking up with a hangover next to Dirk Gently. And Dirk’s naked." A quietly funny fic, and a quietly funny performance.

Interrogation - goingtoalaska, read by Dr_Fumbles_McStupid - 2k, 13 min, G, Dirk/Todd "Of course Dirk has some extremely important questions that can only be asked in the middle of the goddamn night, obviously." Almost entirely dialogue, and really captures the ridiculous-with-an-undercurrent-of-softness vibe of these two characters.

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know - leah k (blinkiesays), read by exmanhater - 20k, 2hrs, E, Dean/Castiel "Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest." This podfic is a road-trip standby for me and my Destiel-shipping wife.

A Statue Strong Enough for Two - lady_ragnell, read by exmanhater - 39k, 3hrs 30min, E, Elena/Mithian, superhero AU "Elena is a street-level superhero. A visit from an old enemy forces her to step up and see what she might have to do with the Sidhe who invaded and were sent away twenty years ago. Luckily, she has fellow superheroes to back her up, and a new girlfriend in her regular life to make things feel more normal." In addition to encouraging me to try out AUs, podfic also encourages me to try out rarepairs--I wouldn't have thought to look for fic about these characters, but I'm so glad I stumbled across & listened to this one.

Lab Book - copperbadge, read by FayJay - 5k, 40min, E, John/Sherlock “'The likelihood of finding a cab on Christmas Eve is fast approaching nil.’ 'So was the likelihood of you kissing me in the middle of the pavement, and yet.’” An annual holiday read/listen!

Whatever Remains, However Improbable - ivyblossom and Loudest_Subtext_in_Television, read by @fffinnagain​ | finnagain - 13k, 90min, T, John/Sherlock “The evidence is all there: we know it’s bound to happen. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are going end up together, aren’t they? Obviously!” An experiment in fourth-person omnitemporal tense. Subtle sound effects add dimension to this podfic.

Diversionary Tactics - shinysherlock, read by finnagain - 2k, 16min, E, Molly/Irene, historical AU "Oh. This could be interesting. Irene’s fingers moved to the third button of the dress and paused. 'Shall I just . . . check the rest of you, then? Make sure you’re quite all right?'" A brief, hot, historical PWP, Mollrene style. UNF. Finnagain's performance is very...impassioned--maybe don't listen in public ;)

Seeing Draco Malfoy - khalulu, read by fire_juggler - 12k, 2hrs, E, Harry/Draco A beautifully done podfic, delivered with warmth and humor. Once I listened to it twice in one week and wound up with the phrase “Nubbumping Humdinger” stuck in my head, and it made me bust out smiling at random times :-)

Let Nothing You Dismay - montparnasse, read by Hananobira - 19k, 2hrs, M, Sirius/Remus "There are a few things Sirius really didn't count on for Christmas of 1979. The extreme sexual confusion is one of them; Remus Lupin is approximately seventy-eight of the rest." There’s a full-on, sensory vividness to the imagery and descriptions in montparnasse's writing, and LISTENING to those words makes the experience even more immersive.

Splendid Night - Katie Forsythe, read by heuristicdevice - 14k, 1hr 30min, M, Holmes/Watson "A Christmasy spin on MILV with a heart-warming dose of H/W." So much miscommunication! I love this fic so hard, and I ESPECIALLY love the podfic. Heuristic Device’s rendering of “now, please,” in a Certain Scene is both quiet and full of feeling, while other sections of the story are infused with audible humor, excitement, and heartbreak, each as they’re called for.

Stately Homes of Wiltshire - waspabi, read by @lazulus​ - 57k, 6hrs, E, Harry/Draco "Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case." Fair warning that listening to this podfic whilst walking my dog led to funny looks from strangers, because it caused me to laugh at loud for no apparent reason.

A Brand of Gold - aquabelacqua, read by @lockedinjohnlock-podfics​ | Lockedinjohnlock – 12k, 2hrs, M, John/Sherlock “What am I doing? he wondered. The answer came back at once: Flirting.” This fic is just plain beautiful, and the pod is one of my favorite performances by Lockedinjohnlock.

Points - lifeonmars, read by Lockedinjohnlock - 54k, 7 hrs, E, John/Sherlock "What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other." Picture it: yours truly, driving alone and terrified through darkness, rain, and heavy traffic…and yet unwilling to turn off this podfic. THAT’S how deep lifeonmars and Lockedinjohnlock took me into this story.

Midnight Plowboy - weeesi, read by Lockedinjohnlock - 5k, 44min, E, John/Sherlock “'Does it feel like I’m sure?' John whispers into Sherlock's ear. Sherlock swallows again." In which John discovers Sherlock's collection of vintage gay erotica. *imagine several fire emojis here*

Half a Dozen Dances - CeruleanDarkangelis, read by Lockedinjohnlock - 19k, 2.4 hrs, E, John/Sherlock "'Seriously? You? You're going to be a stripper?' John tried to keep the amused incredulity off his face. Judging by the disgruntled look Sherlock gave him, he was not entirely successful in this endeavor.'" Typically, stripper fics are just Not My Thing, but the use of music in this podfic sold me.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea - DiscordantWords, read by Lockedinjohnlock - 40k, 5hrs, M, John/Sherlock "Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown." The way the author & podficcer capture Sherlock's voice in this fic feels SO TRUE: his shattered hubris, his desperate resistance to vulnerability, and the believable way he and John finally get through it all.

Senza Catene - Mad_Lori, read by @oncomingtragedy​ - 6k, 1hr, T, John/Sherlock "Sherlock has a secret hobby. One night John follows him to find out what his flat mate is up to and gets the surprise of his life." The one where Sherlock sings opera--cracky but oh-so-enjoyable. The podfic performance includes several musical interludes.

All Life is Yours to Miss - Saras_Girl, read by originally reads - 114k, 11 hrs 20 min, M, Harry/Draco "Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go." Another one I might have missed (due to personal impatience) if not for the miracle of podfic!  The pod is well-performed, and the slower listening process makes the resolution feel even more satisfying.

The Price We Pay for Wings - Frayach, read by @raitala​ - 13k, 80min, M, Harry/Draco "Scorpius Draconis Eltanin Malfoy read the first book in the Alford Ocamy series over Christmas hols when he was eleven. Well, he didn’t so much “read” it as he devoured it." I've recced this a million times before, and I'll keep reccing it because I CRIED ACTUAL LITERAL TEARS LISTENING TO THIS. 10/10 would be devastated by again.

i don't wanna give you up (i don't wanna let you love somebody else but me) - notcaycepollard, read by @revolutionaryjo​ - 3k, 20min, E, Erin/Jillian "Erin Gilbert is not the second or even the fifth straight girl Jillian’s ever fallen for, and it’s kind of getting to be a problem, except when she sees Dr Erin Gilbert, she thinks, maybe, this woman might be a statistical outlier." Closely observed, funny, hot, and the narrative voice is p e r f e c t (both in the text and in the podfic performance).

The Temporal Tornado - novembersmith, read by RevolutionaryJo and Lunate8 - 3k, 37min, G, Carlos/Cecil "A temporal tornado reduced our most beloved scientist, Carlos, into a darling little toddler version of his already darling self, didn’t it? Yes it did, oh yes it did! Plus, a jellyfish migration is underway, a mysterious series of unexplained crevasses are appearing in the streets of Night Vale, and valuable advice is provided on the care and feeding of children." Audio is the only logical format for a Night Vale fic like this one :)

Common Woodbrown - imochan, read by RevolutionaryJo - 36k, 3hrs 40 min, M, Remus/Sirius "'Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.' In 1985, Remus Lupin realizes that Sirius Black is innocent. Now, he just has to prove it." Both author and podficcer create a sensitive rendering of the angst, fragility, and determination of Remus Lupin.

Sentiment to Paper - mistyzeo, read by RickyPulsifer - 7k, 57min, E, Holmes/Watson "No fewer than three times by the winter of 1883 had I heard Sherlock Holmes disparage the ways of lovers and their irrational tendencies toward writing letters. With this often and loudly-expressed opinion in mind, I was very surprised indeed to find a stack of unsent, unsealed letters in a drawer in his desk." RickyPulsifer’s podfic is a quiet wonder of smooth pacing, emotive delivery, and thoughtful production.

Splendid Creature - mistyzeo, read by RickyPulsifer and the_dragongirl - 2k, 20min, E, Holmes/Watson "Holmes has tired himself out on a case and wants to go straight to sleep. After an orgasm or two. Watson is more than happy to help." A sleepy, steamy PWP featuring a transmasculine Holmes, read by two podficcers whose voices work together beautifully.

Cold Snap - MirithGriffin, read by verityburns - 5k, 34min, E, John/Sherlock “The Mayo Clinic prescription for hypothermia is this: Tea. Blanket fort. Sex. All right, it doesn’t come right out and say that on the website. But Sherlock can read between the lines.” Verity Burns' delivery nails both the snark and the sweetness of this fic.

First Night Out - verityburns, read by the author - 3k, 22min, M, John/Sherlock “As John recovers from the effects of a brutal kidnapping, he and Sherlock attend the Yarders’ Christmas Party. There are… developments on the dance floor…” I loved this fic for YEARS before I listened to the podfic and realized that the audio version–read by the author herself–makes it exponentially more charming and more intimate.

Further fic recs | Fic bookmarks