#and also my hate/love letter to italy

[wild-flowerhoney]

little preview of my first (english) pjo wip-

Ed è l'odore dei limoni

Here, by some miracle, the war

Of conflicted passions is stilled,

Here even we the poor are owed our share of wealth

And it’s the smell of the lemon trees.

(Qui delle divertite passioni

per miracolo tace la guerra,

qui tocca anche a noi poveri la nostra parte di ricchezza

ed è l'odore dei limoni.)

-Eugenio Montale, I limoni

The memories come back to him slowly – colours and sounds and feelings, piece by piece, until Nico can push them together and just barely glimpse the bigger picture.

The language comes first, like an old friend, rolls off of his tongue as if it’d never left. It makes it weird to speak English, makes the words and sounds clumsier – once, he stumbles over half the words in a single sentence and thinks this entire thing might reveal itself to be more inconvenience than gift, after all. He wonders, briefly, if this is how he used to speak English as a child. If it used to be even worse.

He doesn’t seriously struggle to speak but sometimes he’ll find himself thinking, it doesn’t feel natural anymore.

And, immediately after, because knowing it doesn’t make it mine.

Some part of who he was has been unlocked and it clashes with who he is, the constant war between what was his from birth and what has been forced on him throughout the years – what he grasped onto when everything that used to be his was taken away, erased by a God who could not fully understand the concept of belonging in a single place. Could not understand the importance of roots and family and history, not in the way mortals do.

And whose fault is it, anyway? A million mortal lovers could not teach Divinity how to be human. It's to be expected, isn't it? It would be against his very nature.

Nico is angry, all the same.

It's not new, this anger.

(actually italian nico making peace with his past and where he comes from my beloved)

[alloftheimaginesblog]

ready (klaus mikaelson)

plot: klaus always knew that one day you'd take him up on his offer.

character: female vampire reader x klaus mikaelson

inspired by something similar he says to caroline

"One day, love, you'll come to me. Might be in two years, might be two hundred but mark my words, you'll realise I was right along. I am the only one who can fulfil your wildest desires and your largest dreams. When you realise that, you'll come knocking on my door and then... well, love, then I'll give you the world."

It had been three and a half years since Klaus Mikaelson had said this to you. Three long years. He'd came into your life as a villain, you were supposed to hate him. He had killed, harmed and tortured so many of your friends (and his sister had tortured you a fair few times) and yet, he was always so delicate and gentle with you. He'd been interested in you pretty much ever since he came to Mystic Falls. You'd hated him... or at least, you tried.

He had gotten under your skin all of those years ago. He'd saved you too many times to count. He had shown you kindness and compassion, had recognised you for who you were; Klaus had seen you. You'd gotten to see a glimpse of the human side to him, not the scary big bad wolf, you'd started to see him. And when he left, with an invite extended your way, it took everything in you to say no.

Klaus hadn't stepped foot in Mystic Falls since he left and yet, every few months or so, he would write to you. Seldom did you respond but you enjoyed reading about his travels. Each time he wrote, he would send photos of the new place he was visiting usually with a list of reasons as to why you'd love it there with drawings he'd done and every single time he wrote, he attached a plane ticket to whatever destination with your name on it. You never used them, instead they gathered dust in a drawer which was full of his old letters. Klaus also always wrote exactly where he was staying at the end of the letter so you knew exactly how to get to him. Periodically, you'd go through and read some of them. They always smelled like him and had the same send off each time.

'Unequivocally yours, Klaus'

You knew that if you needed him, he would be there immediately. He had promised you as such. And the one time you called for help when Caroline got bit by a werewolf, Klaus couldn't be there in person but he sent Elijah with a few vials of his blood (extras for any future emergencies). He would do anything for you and all he wanted was the chance to show you as such.

So when this month's letter arrived with details of his new adventure complete with a plane ticket to Italy, you decided to take the chance you'd regretted not taking three and a half years prior. Your friends were oddly supportive which surprised you but Bonnie had told you she wanted you to be happy and if he's what made you happy then so be it. Damon wasn't impressed but he rarely ever was. Stefan urged you to your happy ending. Caroline approved, she'd seen the way Klaus would've done anything for you so even though she didn't like him, she knew that he was the real deal. Elena was supportive, she'd gone for the 'bad guy' in Damon so she understood the inner conflict and told you that it was okay to let yourself be happy.

So, you packed a bag and headed to Italy.

Getting there was the easy bit; the hard bit was finding the courage to knock on the front door. Your heart hammered in your chest as you stood on the grounds of what you could only describe as a small castle. It was beautiful, with glorious gardens and fragrant flowers. You swallowed hard before taking a breath, this is what you came for, and you knocked three times.

After a few seconds, you could hear someone's voice approaching. Klaus.

"-I didn't ask you to go to such lengths, brother, though I have to say I do appreciate it-"

He opened the door and his expression turned from one of mild annoyance to complete shock.

"Elijah, more important matters have emerged, I'll speak to you later." He hung up, pocketing his phone quickly. He looked good. The Italian sun suited him, turning his hair a shade blonder and making his blue eyes pop, "(y/n)..." A slow, wide smile spread onto his face.

You swallowed hard, "Hi, Klaus."

He stepped aside, silently inviting you into his castle, and with a small smile you breezed past him. He closed the door and led you through to a grand room with various couches and paintings. You looked around incredulously, "This place... it's incredible."

Klaus smiled, "I told you that you'd like this one."

You looked at him and felt nerves bubble in your stomach. You'd came all this way and now... you didn't know what to do. Klaus eyed you curiously, trying to gauge how you were feeling, "Do you need something?" Oh, how he hoped that you were here for him but he had to be sure.

You shook your head, finding words too hard to find, and instead looked back to the paintings, "These are beautiful, did you do these?"

Klaus appeared at your side, making you jump slightly, "Sorry, love," he smirked. He was so close to you, so near that you could smell his cologne. Your heart raced. His hand reached out past you to touch the painting, "I painted all of these, yes. This one is my favourite."

"The colours are lovely," you nodded.

Klaus smiled, quickly vanishing and then returning to your side, "Here, look in the mirror and then look at the painting."

You frowned at him but complied regardless of your confusion. He handed you a small hand mirror which you looked into and then at the painting, "I don't get it," you said to which he urged you to look again and then you realised, "my eyes."

Klaus grinned, "There we go, love," he beamed proudly, "my favourite colours and shades to use. They crop up a lot in my paintings. Go, look," he encouraged you forwards, "take a look and you'll see how often you feature in my paintings."

For a moment, you walked around the room, soaking in the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) hints of your eye colour in every single one of his paintings. It touched you causing you to feel warm inside and you couldn't understand why. You looked at him. He stood on the other side of the room watching you with awe filled eyes, "But why?" You asked softly with tears filling your eyes, "Why me?"

In an instant, he was in front of you, chest touching yours, with his eyes locked with yours, "Oh, love," he whispered, hand reaching out to graze your cheek softly, "It's always been you."

You looked up at him, "You asked me if I needed something earlier." Klaus's brow furrowed and his hand stilled - fear; fear that you weren't here for him, fear that you needed something and then you'd disappear again. "I do need something, Klaus."

"Anything."

"I want... I need you." Your admission was quiet but he heard you loud and clear, "For years, I've regretted saying no to your offer to come with you. I want to live, Klaus. I want to be free. I want to be happy and that means letting myself be happy with... you."

"Me?" Klaus asked.

You nodded as your own hand found its way to rest on his chest, "I'm ready to fall in love with you, Klaus. I just hope I'm not too late."

He grinned, wider than you'd ever seen him smile, "You're right on time, love," he said before his lips crashed to yours. And for the first time ever, you let yourself give in.

[wonryllis]

somewhere in northern italy | 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗄 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇.

synopsis. park sunghoon hates oranges, he always has. the tangy citrusy tingles he's so not fond of it. he also hates you, the living embodiment of an orange: cheery, full of life, and well, round. why should he be bothered by it though? all he has to do is work hard to get into his dream university. but the thing is, he really needs a specific recommendation letter for it. something which he can only get from your father. and hypothetically speaking, he can't just ask for it, so he does you 'a favor for a favor'; he fake dates you on your trip home for summer break and surprise surprise your family owns the biggest orange farm in the country.

or where, sunghoon falls for the one thing he has hated all his life.

word count. 1.6k (teaser) full fic: est 10k-15k? maybe more?

meet the cast. park sunghoon who has an obsession of taking photos with fem!reader who loves being photographed.

genre. fake dating AUUUU!!!! ANDDD enemies to lovers!!!(for hoon), frenemies to lovers(for you), fluff, crackkkk, nsfw, suggestive, sunghoon getting cockblocked all the damn time, set in lombardy, northern italy. popular x unpopular but it's mildly mentioned. sunghoon thinks you are a spoiled brat, a very very studious and upright sunghoon. oh and did you know? orange, orange and orange (sunghoons nightmare) rich girlie and old money reader, sunghoon is gobsmacked at reader's house, parents..(do i really need to add?) and the orange farm.

warnings. allusions as to reader being daddy's princess and being sheltered and hoon struggling every day with oranges and painting a good image of himself to get that letter. nsfw warnings will be added in the full fic. (also no it's not a chubby reader)

RELEASE DATE. TBD

written so far. 15%

author's note﹙ ⌕. ﹚ had this random ass idea while having orange juice yesterday ksjksj. taglist is open for this as well as the permanent one, just let me know and i'll add you asap! not sure if this' good enough kindly bear with me. PLS DONT LET THIS FLOP I REALLY LOVE THIS BABY ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

꒰⠀ N O W P L A Y I N G. ⠀꒱ cruel summer by taylor swift, one kiss by calvin harris & dua lipa, karma by taylor swift, me by taylor swift, call it what you want by taylor swift, blinding lights by the weekend, fireworks by katy perry

"you wanna go down to the lake?" sunghoon looks up to find you at the door, more like peeping in from outside. his hands stopping mid-air with his spongebob boxers in hand, in the middle of unpacking what was left of his luggage. he moves at the speed of light, shoving them back in before you can notice the print. but too late you already saw it well, "you wear spongebob?" your laugh tickles his insides and it feels weird how he seems to like it.

no, he did not want to go out right now. after that stressful breakfast in the garden he just wants to fall face first into your fluffy mattress and sleep it out under your silk comforter. but something about your laugh makes him intrigued, would going down to the lake with you show him more of this side of yours? now this would probably be the seventh time he has wondered of how prettily you laugh. the curve of your eyes and the faint dimples on your cheeks his favourite things. oh? he picked favourites already it's weird, he thinks.

"yeah, let's go. just lemme change my shirt real quick," disappearing into the bathroom before you have the chance to speak. though when he steps back into the room,"your taste is funny," his spongebob boxers hang at the tip of your index finger as you look closely at the design. "put that back!" he scolds, choking on his spit while he rushing over.

"why? don't tell me you haven't washed it? now that's really bad hoonie," the tone of your voice teases his nerves but honestly he's used to it, more precisely he doesn't hate it as much as he thought he did.

"y/n," he warns, albeit not seriously and you can see it.

"baby," in a sweet little smile, (one that has sunghoon's hate for you faltering in the slightest each time you put it on) you correct him,"remember?" my fake boyfriend, mouthing out through a sly grin.

it's like an immediate que for him to give it up, he's not gonna win against you. when he used to see you around the university, mingling amidst a crowd of people every single time, he always thought you'd hold nothing against him. in his eyes you were a hollow image, nothing worth it. perhaps he was wrong, for so far you have him tight in a grip, he can't seem to find something to properly hate. that is if he takes the oranges out the picture.

he sighs in resignation,"come on, let's go, baby." happy? his brows rising in a question, softening up at your smile getting wider with a swift nod.

he relaxed too soon.

"was this really necessary?" the palm of his hand slides around your wrist as you walk down the steps of your italian chateau. supporting your heel clad feet and gesturing at the big beige floppy beach hat sitting atop your head. "absolutely! it's my fa- dad!" sunghoon's head snaps at that, immediately turning to look at the pitch of your voice going higher. the real deal, your father still seated in the garden with a newspaper in his hands and dear lord, a glass of orange juice.

it's embarrassing to be seen with you like that, he was gonna say. but oh well, nevermind.

"i see you have your favorite hat on, going somewhere with sunghoon?" your dad asks smiling warmly at your pair. it makes sunghoon scared, aren't dads supposed to hate boyfriends? is he being bamboozled by your family? will he be preyed upon later when you are not there to see? as if it was possible, your entire family though really welcoming of him are a bunch of weirdos, who the fuck let's their precious daughter share her room with her boyfriend they've met for the first time?

when he agreed to fake date you he didn't know he'd have to put on such a detailed act. there's literally no restrictions for you in the house. you do whatever you want, when ever you want. and that includes taking him everywhere you go, because apparently your parents know him as the boyfriend who loves you so much that he can't let you be alone at any time. shouldn't that be a red flag though? he can't with this anymore, just over a day in and he's convinced he can't make it make sense anymore, it's a white towel, he can only go with the flow.

"yes he really wanted to go down to the lake," what me? when? sunghoon's eyes wander in a panic while you smile as if you weren't just lying through your teeth. smile sunghoon smile, just fucking smile, he reminds himself wondering if he should maybe say something, maybe not?,"didn't you, baby?" the little nudge of your elbow against him tells him that he should, oh god its difficult to learn when to do what.

"yeah the weather seems really good," he says, a slight tremor in his voice, internally facepalming himself. he has one job, and he's failing even that.

"hm, true," the acknowledgement from your father helps calm his nerves a bit but it runs on high again at his next words,"be back before lunch though, your brother and sister in law will be home soon. it's been so long since we last ate together," you have a brother? why wasn't he informed about this? is the universe playing a game with him? as if your parents weren't enough, now he has to impress more people. he can do this, for the sake of his recommendation letter he has to do it.

"yes dad! love you," sunghoon waits like a lone statue as you leave his side to press a kiss to your father's cheek. grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away the moment he opens his mouth to bid your father. at this rate you'll ruin it for him before he can ruin it himself. "slowdown, fluffy. i'll fall at this speed," he tries but it's to no avail, he should have known by now, no one can control you.

the walk down to the lake is quieter than he expected, no bickering or fighting. you show him around the small streets and shops on the way, telling him little stories back from your childhood. sometimes stopping at a spot,"so pretty, can you take a picture of me here?" and it's already the fourth time. he doesn't mind though, on the contrary he finds himself enjoying it. it's not everyday he gets to roam around the streets of italy with the perfect weather.

it doesn't take long for you both to reach the deck on the far left. following your lead, he sits down on the edge beside you, legs hanging low over the cold water and your shoes placed on one side. you sit close, arms brushing each other, little finger atop one another. your hair flowing with the wind swipes against his face when you turn the other way, a subtle hint of sweet (you guessed it) orange tingling his smell buds. instead of grimacing his life off, he leans closer for another whiff of it. "sunghoon!" retracting immediately when you turn back to him.

"hm?" a feeling so out of this world, a haze lost in his mind. your words sound blurry and your extravagant hat looks so pretty on you. he almost feels like he has to capture this. "i asked how you like it? weren't you listening? what're you thinking?" and he does, taking out his phone and clicking a candid. he can't believe he now has a photo of you in his gallery that he's taken on his own accord. he's been doing many weird things lately,"it's really pretty," so so many weird things.

"hey fluffy i've been wondering about something," he speaks again, looking away to try to ignore tiny little fluttering butterflies in his stomach.

"what is it?"

"haven't you ever dated before, why do your parents seem so excited to see you have a boyfriend?" there he asked it, the biggest mystery he can't stop thinking about from the moment he set foot in your palace of a house. if it's your first then maybe that would somewhat explain their behaviour, not that it would become normal altogether, just kind of justifiable that he won't be put on the rack. that he's truly welcomed and he's safe.

"not really, no one ever met my standards," your answer throws him off. what?

"does that mean i do?" he tests the water, cautious above all yet his tone still comes off as one of tease.

"yes, except one," he eyes turn to you at that, pupils dilated with curiosity for the one thing stopping him from the title of 'perfect for you' as your parents claimed. meeting his eyes in a lock of contact, you give him a small smile. hands moving over to his white button up, fingers tracing his collar and undone buttons watching his adam's apple bob in a hard gulp as his brown orbs follow your movements, sweat building up at the close proximity when you both lock eyes again,"you don't really like me," sunghoon immediately looks away, a stab of reality, he was actually anticipating something he could change. really park sunghoon? remember you don't like her?

"am i wrong?" you laugh leaning forward to have a look at his face.

"i never said that," sunghoon clears his throat, turning back, suddenly gaining a surge of confidence. park sunghoon what???

TAGLIST ( open. ) @s00buwu @luvyev @deobitifull @nottkwiwin @enhyven @crysieberry @eneiyri @sovlidago @fertiliezedtoesw @laylasmother @pockyyasii @ladyartemesia @kaispulshies @nctislifue @capri-cuntz @sweetjaemss @parksunghoonsgf @ariadores @asteria-wood @laurradoesloveu @en-dream @304files

[britany1997]

Could I make a request? It's my birthday tomorrow and I'd love to know how the boys (maybe both individually and poly) would treat their S/O on their birthday. Love your fics and HCs, so glad I found your blog!

Absolutely you can! And Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day!

I’m gonna do headcannons because I think they would work best for this request:)

Celebrating your Birthday with the Lost Boys

David:

•He’s grumpy, but he adores you

•He gives, ‘I hate everyone but you’ energy with his S/O

•He likes to seem indifferent a lot of the time, since he’s got this ‘super cool leader of a biker gang’ reputation he needs to protect

•But he cares for you very deeply

•He listens to everything you say. Everything.

•And he’s incredibly observant and always keeping a close eye on you

•So if there was something you told him you wanted but it was too expensive, or something you liked at a store but talked yourself out of buying

•He got it for you

•The craziest most extravagant things you might never have gotten for yourself

•A Cartier bracelet? It’s yours. A PS5? All wrapped up for you. A signed first edition of your favorite book? Yep. Don’t ask how he got it.

•Seriously. Don’t ask.

•He shows his love by spoiling you and he wants you to feel loved on your special day🥹

Dwayne:

•Dwayne is the romantic of the group

•He writes you the sweetest birthday card you’ve ever gotten

•It’s like a love letter to you and you can feel his adoration coming off the page

•You can see how he started out with normal sized letters, but he had so much to say that they get smaller and smaller towards the end

•He writes over and over again how much he loves you and cares for you

•He writes about how happy he is that you were born and how lucky he is to be with you

•He tells you how you’re incredibly smart, ridiculously attractive, and overwhelmingly kind

•He includes a little poem about you as well, taking the time to detail your features and compare you to an Angel or some other worldly creature

•He writes about how he genuinely can’t believe a treasure like you could love a “literal monster” like him, but he’ll spend the rest of his eternal life trying to return the love he thinks you’re worthy of

•He thinks the world of you and wants you to feel appreciated and loved, not just on your birthday, but everyday

•He signs it ‘xxxxxxx <- my kisses’

•Just to make sure you know

•He asks Laddie to sign the card too and Laddie writes about how special you are and how grateful he is for you too

Paul:

•Listen

•He is his gift to you

•He shows up to your nest with a bow on his chest and winks at you

•I said on anon to another TLB account once that I think Paul’s the type of guy to give you a cast of his dick as a present and I stand by it

•If you’re not into that though he totally respects it and he’ll get you something else

•He’ll give you tons of cuddles and hugs

•He just likes to hold you, and he knows you like to be held🥹

•He tapes a birthday hat he cut out of a magazine on to fishy’s bowl for you too

•He would also want to give you a kiss for every year you’ve been alive

•He’s like, “you want em all at once or throughout the day?”

•Every time he gives you a kiss he’ll tell you something he loves about you

•Man has no filter and is always ready to tell you all the reasons you’re special to him

•He also makes you a little coupon book with sweet little things like “good for one bear hug,” “redeem for one boardwalk adventure,” and “turn into Paul for one quiet night together at the beach.”

•There are also some..um….spicy coupons in there too (if you want them of course)

•He says those you can reuse;)

Marko:

•Marko bakes you a cake:)

•Now this can go one of two ways

•Marko makes Panettone and Pandoro for the boys around Christmastime

•When he lived in Italy, his mom taught him how to make it and he still uses her recipe

•If that’s what he does, it turns out really great and it’s super yummy!

•However, if Marko makes you ANY other cake…good luck

•Aside from beloved family recipes intertwined with childhood memories, Marko does not believe in recipes.

•He is an agent of chaos and his cooking skills reflect this for the most part.

•He also really doesn’t get baking soda/powder and how much you should add (but he’ll never admit that and look at a recipe, that’s for quitters)

•But whichever he does he makes it with love🥹

•He frosts it, writes a sweet happy birthday message in colored icing on it, puts candles on it and lights them for you

•Once you blow out the candles he’ll take a little bit of it and shove it in Paul’s face (like wedding style)

•He wouldn’t do it to you of course because it’s your birthday (but Paul is fair game😈)

•He watches you eat it with heart eyes because food is such a big part of the culture in Italy, and it means a lot to him when you eat what he makes and enjoy it

Poly:

•If you’re more extroverted and don’t mind attention, they throw you a party in the cave!

•They invite all your friends and family so you’re surrounded by all the people you love

•Marko buys all your favorite snacks and drinks

•David makes a playlist of all your favorite songs for dancing and vibing

•Dwayne and Paul are in charge of decorations

• “We need a theme”

• “Not all parties have themes Paul”

• “All the good parties do! Don’t you want the best for the love of our life???”

•They make it an 80s theme party

•And not like tacky 80s themed, actual, very authentic 80s themed party

•All the guest come in 80s themed outfits (they don’t need to change) and they put something aside for you to wear too when you arrive at the party

•They do the whole ‘make everyone hide until you come in and then jump out and yell surprise’ thing

•Then you dance the night away celebrating with your favorite people!

•But if you don’t like parties, and you prefer not to be the center of attention, they have a plan for that too!

•They steal get a projector and screen and they set it up in the center of the cave

•They pull the mattress from your nest out into the main area too and throw tons of blankets and pillows on it

•They make popcorn and grab tons of candy and soda

•When you get to the cave they surprise you with a movie night in!

•You spend the night cuddled up next to them watching your favorite movie

•If you fall asleep, they carry the mattress back to your nest (with you on it of course) and all fall asleep in your nest with you

•They love you so much and want you to have the best birthday ever:)

I hope you liked this:)

Taglist:

@ghoulgeousimmaculate @altierirose @solobagginses

[en0xx]

Tommy Shelby x young fem!reader.

(My first time writing a story on here I hope yall like it, well… whoever reads this. Let me know if anyone wants to get tagged & tell me if yall want a pt2!)

Reminder: *This was ‘insipired’ just a tad bit by the song, Bang Bang by Nancy Sinarta.*

TW: Mention of blood, AGE!gap.

Summary: Y/ns father as a Sicilian Gang leader, he has his enemies, like Tommy Shelby, but will that stop Y/n for loving one of her dad’s enemy, which… the interactions with this man that she loves, wont be easy.

y/ns pov:

'I was my dads only daughter, no other siblings, He was a man with power, as a Sicilian gangster, that was well known all across Italy, even Europe for years, we were not so welcomed in the so known Birmingham lands. I was born in my motherland, but raised in England.

The WWI had already ended its full on terrifying paths, while...

One day, I was about 16, a young girl full of life... when me and my father were having a walk after I had just left the school for that day, and we were just talking about how my day had gone so far, but then. I see a man might have been 28yo or even 29 at the time, he was riding up on a black horse, which he gracefully stood straight while riding that horse, as I could then see my father glared at him as he glared back, then his eyes fell on mine, just a kid to his eyes as he raised his eyebrow, while my two pair of eyes looked up at him I could feel a weird feeling rumbling inside my stomach, that I never felt before. Then his eyes left mine as he took his own road leaving.

Later on as years passed, I found out that his name was Thomas Shelby, the leader of the Peaky Blinders and also my dads most hated rival. I knew his aunt, Polly, his two brothers, Arthur and John and his only sister Ada, how he lost his wife by the Italian mafia...

My father never talked to me about them, but his left letters on his desk openly, and his 'private calls' were not really read or heard by only him.

At some point as a messy adventurous teen, I would always walk with my friends after school by his pub, god each time his eyes landed on mine, my legs would fall weak, until a so sudden night, no man was around that pub, as the whole place was claimed by the dark, I looked around as I felt someone stand behind me, I turn to look up as I was met by the same pair of eyes I was searching for, and everything lead to another, with now him being the one to lay on my bed at nights where my mother and father wouldn't be home at all, or me sneaking out of my house, to just feel his touch on my skin...'

PRESENT TIME.

I was laying on the warmth and arm running down my spine, Tommy was laying there, his sharp features that cut right through me with emotions that I didn't know how to bare them within me. He held his cigarette with his other hand, as he took slow puffs with those full

lips of his, that parted ever so slightly.

"Somethin wrong wit' me face?" he said looking down at me, raising one of his eyebrows as he would always.

"No, its not that at all..." I only managed to get out, what was I supposed to do or say, when he stared at me with his icy piercing eyes.

"So what then ey? You stare at people like that for no reason?" I could see the slight smirk on the tail of his lips, that he tried to hold within but failed to.

"No, once again... I just like staring at you." Those words passed in a whisper through my lips, admitting, as I lifted myself up to look at him, face to face as then I got up, my back was facing him, trying to hide the fact that I got embarrassed and I could feel my face burning as that warmth passed on to my core as I then picked up my silk robe that was laying on the floor.

He could see her whole entire body get wrapped by the soft material delicately and beautifully, just like a charismas present, for him to unwrap...

Once more...

"Ya say that and ya decided to get up tryin to get away from' me?" he had a grin all wrapped up around his face.

"You should leave Tom, my father will be back in a hour by now..."

I sat at my vanity, looking at my trashed makeup, from the night before.

He just rolled his eyes as she got up, as the sheets slid down his skin revealing him whole, as my eyes studied his body through the mirror.

As he got dressed, and him walking past her opening the door, and just letting out just a 'See ya.' like he forced just those two damn words out of his mouth.

I stared at myself my hairs a mess, I am a mess, I smell like sex and sweat... at a point it felt like he didn't... care. he was there just for a good fuck, never gave a goodbye kiss, he would get her presents, yeah but that's not all that anyone wants... at least not her.

As the day had started, she took a hot soapy bath, then puts on a dress, white, short and light weighed on her as it hugged her figure, she walked down the stairs of her mansion as the sounds of the chirps from the birds and the table being set for breakfast. which only she was to attend, she walked in the back of the kitchen where all the cooking was to be done as she looked around greeting everyone as she walked to the oldest maid.

"Meredith! Good morning!" y/n said cheerfully kissing Merediths cheek.

"Oh my dearest, good morning, how did you sleep?" MEredith turned to look at the young girl, as she stroked her cheek.

'Meredith, also known as 'Mery' always was like a grandmother for her, she was there always for y/n, from the day her father had first walked with y/n in his arms, Meredith never had any grandchildren after her only son had died at a young age in the war... so, y/n was so much to her, after all she had never got.'

"I had a good sleep, really." smiling down at her I could see worry in her eyes. "Maryy please! Don't start again..."

"But y/n, what if your father found out? He is a threat, hes no good... You know that by now honey!" I just rolled my eyes my smile not leaving my lips as I took a handful of raspberries on my hand running off.

"Y/n! You have to have breakfast! Don't just leave with just some berries and call it breakfast!" Meredith tried to run after her as she stopped on her tracks breathing heavily not getting to reach the young girl. "When will that girl ever listen to a word I say..."

I walked out on the back door, through and through to reach the stalls where we kept the horses.

"Nevi... good morning my strong boy..." I reached my hands to the Andalusian Cremello coloured horse, as its hair wrapped long down the horses long neck.

The horse neighed as I reached to kiss the top of Nevis head.

"Nevi' is short for 'Nevicare' which in Italian it means 'snow'.'

One of the Groomers asked me to make Nevi ready for a ride, but I always took care of him myself really, it was therapeutic to me, so I tacked up my horse as I put on his saddle and bridle. I made sure everything was okay and in place, I took Nevi by the bridle leash as I walked him around for a while just for a warm up, as then after a while, I lifted myself up on the saddle to sit on it comfortably as I mount first on a gentle walk to make sure the horse is all adjusted.

"Your ready... hup!" as I put out a gentle pressure, as at first the horse started walking just a bit faster on the field, as he then started to pick up speed as I passed around through trees as the sunshine peaked in between leaf's, the soft breeze... brushing on my skin ever so lightly as I felt so free, felt like I could breath.

It felt like it was just me in this world, no war, no hate amongst anyone...

The run turned into a slow walk as Nevi stopped to freshen up, to wet its long dried out throat, as the hot weather pulsed on, the horse got in the lakes cold waters, and I didn't stop him, he slid inside the deep waters until they reached the hem of the bottom of my dress, the horse swims through, around the lake.

I felt, the presence of someone there, I looked around then turned to see...

"Tommy... what are you doing here...?" I could feel no longer oxygen on my lungs.

He didn't speak, but we stood there looking at one another, so different, two whole different spirits, the one is a man, full on black clothes, strong features staring straight as if a predator was looking at his next pray with his ashy black horse, and the other, a young woman all in white skin glowing as the short white dress hugged her figure, a soft sculpted face that held so many emotions by just looking into her beautiful eyes, she looked like a luring spirit where she was, like an illusion that wanted to take you, with her white horse...

"Figured you might be here, I see that I was right, I forgot my watch I think in your bedroom, yeh? I need' it." He obviously got straight to point.

"Tomorrow, my father has already come home by now..." I blurted out in a sigh as I could see his slightly irritated expression.

As I lead Nevi out the water, I now was going around him in circles.

"You should've reminded yourself earlier, you know, its not my fault so bare with it." Its the first time I ever talked like this to him, it was about time really, but he looked at me in a questioning look.

"All' right, I'll come and get it tomorrow then now will you stop." He looked at me as I still was going around in a circles.

"Stop what?" I took it up, as a tease really, I smiled at him as I couldn't really see the fire building in.

"Stop the fokin' circlin' me and me fokin' horse!" he spat out as I immediately pulled back on the reins in shock to stope my horse.

"Bloody hell, can't ya' listen?" He huped at his horse as he looked away blurting out. "Fokin Italians..."

That took me out, it stroke down like a bullet in the guts. I didn't know what to say, nor do. I took a brief moment to get myself together as Nevi took me home as the road was all done by a slow walk, and numerous thoughts.

I passed all my day in my room, not getting out one bit, just laying in bed, I then heard the door open and closing, it was Mery, as she sat beside my bed, as she had brought me a blueberry muffin, she always knew, she knew me... And I did too, always when someone in the family was upset, or anything had happened to any of us, she would always make blueberry muffins, to comfort us in a way, at least it did comfort me in every way possible I rested my head on her lap as hot tears streamed down while she stroked my long hair.

"Its okay darlin' I know its no easy task to love someone like him."

Like I too said, she knew me, always.

THE NEXT DAY.

I woke up with my head pulsing and my eyes all puffed up from the crying. I got up and I took a shower, as I got up I let my hair down to brush them and let them dry, as I chose what to wear, cream color that extenuates the waist as it has just a little volume on the skirt, it had tailored handmade details on every inch in the dress. It was a tad bit chilly outside so I put on a fur coat on matching the color of my dress, as well as a pair of kitten heels, took my purse as I slid his gold watch in it as I then got out my room as my chauffeur was waiting outside for me. I got in the back seat of the car as it was about to start when I hear my father call out.

"Y/n, piccolina mia! Where are you goin? The only day me and your ma' are here you go and leave so early." my dad spoke in his typical sicilian/italian accent, and looking at me.

"I am just... going out with my friends just for brunch! It'll be quick, really, I'll come back as soon as I can!" I then signed to the chauffer to start the car as he did, and as the car moved my father backed off the car, and the car continued to drive away from the house.

As the ride continued my mind was going through so many thoughts in a short period of time. It was the first time I had ever gone to where he would do most of his work, I had only ever gone once that night on his pub, but never above, on his office... and nervousness got the best of me, and as soon as I arrived, and I got out of that car I took a deep breath while my heart was pounding out of my chest. As I walked in that pub, I could feel the mans hungry gazes but I tried to avoid any, I walked straight to the bartender.

"May I have a word with Thomas Shelby?" the man looked at me in a questioning look but still nodded while cleaning off his hands on his apron. After a little time while my heels kept on tapping on the hardwood floor, I saw him, Tommy walking in front of me, as he just nodded at me as he signed me to follow him, and I did, I walked after him, as he held his office door for me to get in, then closing it after I stepped in.

"Tommy..." It was all I could let out, at first.

"So, what brought you' here? Did you bring me pocket watch?" he raised his eyebrow, as he usually did, and I just sighed in frustration, I reached into my bag slamming the watch on the oak wood desk.

"Here's you fucking watch, what brought me here, its you, honestly or mostly the words you said to me the other day."

I set on the chair across from his as I tried to keep on a neutral face on.

"What words, 'fokin' Italians'?" He couldn't put nothing than a smirk on his face.

"Seriously, really what do you take me off? One of your whores? I am not, I can assure you I am not like that Lizzy Grant, or any of the others that you might fuck and talk to like that." I got up to leave as then I feel a hand on my upper arm pulling me back, spinning me around as I faced him.

"I never said you were and I too take back what I said..." His deep voice sent shivers down my spine as I could feel his hot breaths on my face brushing through, he then reached down to kiss me as I didn't push back, I felt his lips press on mine, the kiss was soft at first but, it got deeper.

I then was brought back to reality as I pushed him off me I stared at him for a split second and then I walked out of his office, while I didn't look back one bit.

'3 days passed, I grew each day more tired then ever, I would take Nevi out for a couple of rides, bought new dresses but I felt so empty in the inside, until when Meredith walked in my room while I was reading one of my books by the window.'

"Y/n theres a letter for you." she handed me the letter opening it, and unfolding the paper as I read.

'Meet me by the alley, near the woods by sunset, I need to talk to you.'

~Tommy.

I quickly got dressed putting on a coat, then Meredith took the letter as she read it.

"Y/n I don't have a good feeling darlin' please don't go." She said in a worried tone and face expression.

"I wont take long, okay?" I ignored her pleading as I then smiled back at her and I left.

TOMMYS POV.

"Are ya' sure about this Tom?" Arthur glanced at me.

"Yes, Arthur I'm sure." I said as I finished signing the documents. I then got up to put on the flat cap and my coat on, reaching in to my hip to fix my gun.

Arthur looked at me, I knew he had more to say I could see him holding back.

"You know Tom, its not the young girls fault'..." Arthur finally got out in a sigh.

"They killed me fokin' wife, she took a bullet meant for me!" I said through my teeth out of anger.

"TOM, its not them that killed Grace, the Italians were from Nap—"

I had no time nor nerves to listen to him, I slammed the office door after me as I walked out to the car.

NADIAS POV.

I waited for a short period of time, then I heard a car pull over a bit further away as I saw Tommy get out as I waited for him still where I was standing. he got closer by each step to the point where we were face to face, he had a calm look to him.

"Why did you call me here, at this time?" I looked at him while he just smiled.

"I wanted' to see me girl." he softly spoke, weird I thought, so suddenly calling me his girl...

While we started walking, we had just reached the woods.

"Do we go there?" I glanced at him as he leaded me in without any word spoken.

We passed the trees while I could see the sun setting and the night gobbling the views of what eyes could reach taking a grayish color.

He then suddenly stopped, in the middle of a meadow, as I could see the life of most flowers was taken over by the autumn cold coming through.

"I never took anyone here... at least without reasons." his tone was serious, as he then scoffed at the last words he said while his back faced me.

I tried to understand what he meant but only I got more confused, the church so distant... but its bells was so clearly noticeable to the ear, I looked through the distance I lifted my hand to do the sign of the cross, as I closed my eyes.

I moved firstly on my forehead "In the name of the Father..."

Then in the middle of my chest " ...and of the Son... "

Sliding my hand on my left shoulder "...and of the Holy..."

Reaching to my right "...Spirit..."

"Amen..."

I lastly kissed my fingers as I opened my eyes to a gun in front of my face, freezing at the moment feeling my blood running cold through every bit of my veins and being.

"T...Tommy...?" I let out, out of complete shock.

"It was 'bout time you were gone, to make you repay..." He murmured pulling the guns trigger.

"Repay for what? Your wifes death? Tommy my father and even my family had nothing to do with anyone that included your wife and you in... was it all a game to you, Tommy... was I a game to you? Was this all just to reach here so you could shoot me and leave my dead body lying here?" choking out the words while I could feel my throat growing tight.

He just stared straight at me, his hand too shook, then I see his hand get lower, but still the gun pointing at me.

"Your people, should feel the pain, that they caused and started." he was being hard headed not trying to hear her nor anything or anyone.

I glanced at him as my eyes filled with a thick sheet of salty hot tears as I was about to lean in, to close the gap in between us two. But then...

BANG BANG!

'Bang bang, he shot me down... bang bang I hit the ground... bang bang, that awful sound, bang bang, my baby shot me down...'

He glanced at her laying body, covered by the dead flowers, the wound caused by the bullet on her right side of the chest, leaking blood down her clothes like gold, as he could see the tears that traced her closed eyes and cheeks.

'Music played, and people sang... just for me, the church bells rang...'

Taking steps back, as he left her really right there... lifeless.

'Now he's gone, I don't know why, until this day sometimes I cry...'

'He didn't even say goodbye, he didn't take the time... to lie...'

...

A WEEK PASSED.

TOOMMYS POV:

Glancing at the fire over the chimney, while I fidgeted with the glass with a tad bit of whiskey left, her face flashed before my eyes, her hitting the ground as her body grew limp.

My heart... ached, for whatever reason it was like something died to me too, a weird feeling build in me that made me want to put a gun to my head from what I did to... 'me girl'.

"Are you going to stay there all day long Tommy?" I turn to be met by Polly walking through the door.

"Arthur told me... Tommy you shot an innocent girl' from your passive aggression, nor her and her father had to do anything will this, the Italians in Naples have nothing common with the Sicilians... and have you gotten any other news, really?" Polly looked at me wile she stood in front of me.

I looked at her, in confusion...

"That girl... is so strong that... THAT bullet of yours didn't take her, and her life..." She mumbled the last words, wile shock struck my face.

"Fix this, before her father does, because trust me Tom' a fathers love for his only daughter, is stronger than anything, will be the end for us all."

She left, I glanced back again at the fire, as it was going down...

I took the last sip of that whiskey as I got up, I put on my coat... and headed off.

The ride felt like it took hours, but then I had reached where I needed to be, in front of her house, took myself out of the car, to her houses doorstep, I nocked once, and twice until one of the maids opened the door.

"Yes?" the woman looked straight at me as I cleared my throat.

"Thomas Shelby, can I have a word with y\n y\l\n?" suddenly an older maid snuck in front of the other maid,

"Leave, Mr.Shelby, the young misses, is taking her rest after what you caused! and..." as the maid was about to continue a deep voice was heard from one of the rooms.

"Meredith, lead Mr.Shelby in, will you?" A mans voice said calmly, the maid nodded as she slid away from the door leading the way to a big study, which a man sat on a leather chair turned to the windows, as it slightly moved.

There was a long, long moment of silence, as I glanced over at the chair, the man was smocking calmly while the chair moved, now the man facing me.

"So, how did it all feel? To shoot my own and daughter that I ever had, which I thank god has not died in my arms while her blooded clothes bleed through mine... Is the revenge that you take, on innocent people, feel better and more then good than it could ever feel from doing that to the one who was really guilty?" The man said, clearly I could hear the mans voice break at the mentioning her daughter. but he held in all the build up emotions.

"Tell me Mr.Shelby..." he lastly looked at me while I choked on my own spit, that's how tight my throat had tightened.

"I know that my actions had caused, anything that it wasn't meant to be caused not to you or your daughter... and I came here to apologies to you..."

"To me? My daughter is the only person who should deserve that apology firstly... then whoever is next... I will tell you one thing Thomas Shelby, I chose this path of life as it was passed by my own father down generations, and I am happy my lil' girl was born no such thing as a son, because she wont have to take after what I took... and I have never returned the bullet, with a bullet. If I ever did, you would've been dead by now... but I know you have a son to look after, and I know your mistakes that you regret. I still hate you, for hating us and what you did to my daughter, only, and hate never burns out... but I will keep my fires in me, without burning anyone around me, I better burn myself... I will tell that to you as a man to a man, a soul to a soul, a father to a father."

While he said those words, I looked at him, as I had no words, I just nodded me head admitting while he was right, a wise man.

"Go..." he let out lastly, signing the way up to the stairs peaking through the door.

"Thank you." was the only thing I could say, walking out that door, as I stepped up each stair as her door down the dark halls peaked brighter that any other any. I reached me hand, to open it, half of me face peaking in to see...

The room was bright white, the window was slightly opened, as the light white curtains moved after the breeze, I look towards the bed, as she laid inside those white sheets there, peacefully as she slept her hair over the pillow laying so beautifully, as I saw the injurie I had caused underneath the white cloth.

As I got closer to her, I couldn't help but brush me hand on her cheek, so lightly for her not to wake up.

Suddenly she slowly opened her eyes, she looked at me, a tired look shot her face as I looked deep into her eyes.

"Y\n..." I whispered, while she just stared at me with those beautiful eyes of hers.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was so cold, I was used to her talking to me with warmth, and the cold I feel now, I never felt before...

"I came here for ya', to... ask for forgiveness."

NO ONES POV.

Thomas Shelby, the leader of so called Peaky Blinders, became the weak one at that moment, he never had kneeled before to anyone, asking for forgiveness which, y/n was taken aback...at first.

He stroked her hair, as his eyes glanced at hers.

"Get off me."

Y/N'S POV.

"Tom, you heard me, get off." I calmly spoke.

Well he did as she said, his eyes shifted at the wound.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt ya'?" he said in a caring, worried tone.

"No, I just don't want you to touch me." looking down at my laying body, I tried to act like I didn't want him there, nor to touch me... but god knows I needed his touch, because... I love him, he's the one I fell for, the one I got shot from, but it felt like pure bliss, pure love. Even though my blood gushed out, as if too late, he might had taken my life away. I feel sick at my own self for feeling this way for the man in front of me...

But is this feeling of sickness what love really feels...?

"Y/n, please... me' girl" he whispered closely to me.

"Sweetheart' I was wrong, I did wrong, and I know, and I do regret everything I did..."

He tried to explain over and over again, and I just looked at him...

GOD how I wanted to kiss him, how I craved this sin of a man...

"Tom, please..." I tried to say but he cuts me off.

"I love ya', sweetheart' I fucking love ya..." he looked at me, my eyes lingering on his as my breathing stopped for a moment, I felt something growing within me...

He ran his hands on each sides of my cheeks, cupping them.

"Don't push me away, luv..."

His face was inches from mine, I could feel his hot breath caress my skin, I lifted my head up, just for my nose to brush lightly on his, trying to hold back wasn't easy... How could it be easy, it would never.... if you love a person that much, resistance is no word to be listened, heard, even known... when it came to someone you loved...

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, Babies, loss, blood

Another day at my grandparents drew to a close. After Dilek made her way home, N. and I got in a discussion. Not about her, it was about Alex, Daniel's Brother. 😔

Alex wrote me a letter, bcs he couldn’t call me. Daniel was against it! However, Alex mentioned a date in his letter. He wanted to see me! He said/wrote, he will wait for me in front of my and Daniel’s apartment on that particular day. I really wanted to see Alex!! I wanted to know what’s going on with Daniel and why he left me??? But as you can imagine, Nico was against it. Which was totally understandable!! That’s why I tried to talk to Nico about it. N. didn’t forbid me, but he let me know, he was disappointed in me. 🙁😞

He didn’t want to start a fight and just went over to M.’s room, while I cleande up our dishes in the kitchen. Nico asked M., what's wrong with Ana?? Why's she avoiding me?? So my Cuz told him what happend between Ana, Adam, Dennis & me in their dorm a few weeks ago. Yup! "Agh, thanks, bro!" 🤦‍♀️😒Such a moron!

Anyway! Now I'm gonna tell you about the dress I found in my room this afternoon. I thought it was my Mom’s! I really loved that dress! I felt so pretty in it. But my Grama seemed to hate it? I had the impression my Grama didn’t want to tell me exactly what she had against the dress I was wearing? She just said it's hers, not my Mom's!! And well, before I went to bed, I wanted to try to talk to her about this thing again in peace. She just came out of the bathroom. My Grampa was still sitting on the couch in the living room, watching a western movie. 😄He and his bloody, old, western movies. 😆😆Agh, I hated them!

Back to that dress. I entered the bedroom. My grandma was expecting me. She knew I had questions and was ready to talk to me about it.

My Grams was born and raised in Italy. She had three siblings! 2 Sisters and a Brother. When my Grams was 16, she went to Greece with one of her sisters, who's 2 years older than her, to work there. They worked in a hotel. And just a year later, she met my Grampa. My Grams was able to learn some Greek. But together with my Grampa, she learned the language relatively quickly and so they fell in love with each other. After spending over a year in Greece, my Grama decided to marry my Grandpa. He asked her and she was also pregnant. Her parents agreed, as long as my Grams had someone to take care of her. My Grandma's family didn’t have much money. My great-grandmother had lost an arm while working in a factory. That’s why she couldn’t work anymore.

Anyway, my Grandma was happy in Greece with my Grandpa .They lived in my Grampa's house which belonged to his Parents, who also lived there. My Grama and Grampa wanted to save money together to move out, so they both worked a lot. Even though my Grandma was pregnant, she worked 12 hours a day. She wanted to, and she felt good, so she just kept going. But when my Grams was 8 months pregnant, she suddenly got contractions during her shift at the hotel. She had to go to the hospital immediately! Something seemed to be wrong. She was bleeding. At the hospital, my Grandma found out she was having twins!!! She didn't know! No idea how her gynecologist could miss this, but my Grama told me that she was not often at the doctor at that time. She only had an ultrasound once! She didn’t take this so seriously. She was only 18! And her doc just said, she is young and strong, so it's all gonna be fine. However,my Grandma lost a lot of blood during delivery. She almost didn’t survive, she became unconscious, she said. She doesn’t remember what happened? She only knew, she was in a beautiful place, while the Doc's struggled to save her life. Everything felt so peaceful and wonderful. She wanted to stay there. She walked through a green meadow where two small kids suddenly ran towards her. She immediately hugged and kissed them. The three of them had a wonderful time on this beautiful meadow. They laughed, danced and played. My Grams was so happy. She didn’t want to leave this place. But after a while, the two Babies had to say goodbye to her. They told her, she had to go back home. My grandma didn’t want to, she asked, if she could stay there?... The Babies hugged her one last time, telling her not to worry about them. One day, they’ll see each other again, right here.

Then my Grama woke up and found herself in a bed in the hospital. She knew, her Babies didn’t survive 😟😢 ...... She told me, that she was not immediately sad as she woke up. She was rather disappointed, because she had to leave that beautiful meadow. A few days later my grandmother was back home. At home, she realized what had actually happened. She lost her Babies. 😔

And this dress I found, my Grandma loved when she was pregnant. Seeing me in that dress scared her, because I was pregnant too. She didn’t want to tell me, not scare me. And secondly, she knew that when I learned that she had twins, it would only make me more insecure. My pregnancy was unplanned, what if I have twins too?? So yes, it actually worried me.

Me: Was Grandpa nice to you? I mean, was he good to you? 😟

Grams: Yeah, he took care of me. Don’t worry about me, it’s been over 40 years.... In summary, I can say.... yes, your Grampa was a good man. It wasn't allways easy with him. You know how much he loves his beer. But thanks to me, your grandpa is not a drinker! No matter how long he was out at night with his 2 brothers and buddies. Every morning, I kicked him out of bed to go to work. But when it came to you kids, I could always rely on him... I know you’re still sad about Daniel. I heard you and Nico talking, but ask yourself a question, A.! How will it be in a few months? How do you imagine your future, not your present!! Now everything may seem uncertain and you are sad. You miss & love him. And if you weren’t pregnant, I’d advise you to wait and see about your marriage. Fact is, you don’t know why Daniel decided to leave? Maybe he didn’t see another way? Daniel is a calm, introverted guy. I think he kept a lot of things that bothered him to himself. In addition, he has never learned otherwise. He never really had anyone to... take care of him. Now it’s too late what his parents are trying to make up for. He doesn’t trust them, he generally has difficulty opening up. I think that’s why he couldn’t talk to you. I just want you to understand, that it wasn’t your fault. You can't fix in those few months you were with him, what went wrong for him in the past. And now that you’re pregnant, I doubt you and Daniel have a chance anyway. This will make it all the harder for him, to trust you. That's how things are rn. This is your current situation and you have to decide how you want to continue. Of course, I can’t tell you what to expect with Nico. But one thing I think, I can tell you! No man, no matter how much he loves you, will love your child as much as his Dad does. Daniel would probably try, and if he makes an effort, maybe he’ll be a good Dad for your Baby. But it’s Nico’s Baby. I know you had your struggles with him. But I talked to him last night. And in my opinion, you can rely on him. He’ll give you everything and he loves you. But most importantly, Nico doesn’t do drugs, bella. I know you don't wanna hear that, but this one important detail, is actually enough, to make the right decision, for you and your Baby.

Me: Why do you think I didn’t decide? I'm so happy with N. rn. I really want this with us! But..... yes! I'm still very sad about Daniel. I’m afraid to divorce him. I don’t wanna hurt him. I always feel like I’ve done something wrong, Nico and I, it feels like cheating.... You believe in God. Do you think someone wants to punish me for all I’ve done wrong? I don’t want my Baby to pay for my mistakes.

Grams: God does not punish, he forgives! That’s what it’s all about! Forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself, A.! But you did nothing wrong, honey. You were sad, felt abandoned, alone & broken. And Nico was there. You might think, he was there at the right moment. Where would you be now, if Nico hadn’t come back to your life? You can be honest A.! I’m not gonna be mad. I think I know what happend.

Me: I-....I’d probably be high with Dennis somewhere.

Grams: Who's Dennis?

Me: I met him at Ana's dorm.... We did drugs together. I even almost slept with him, even though I only met him a few hours before that. 😢

Grams: Come here.... You'll be fine. I'm gonna take care of you and your Baby. You're not alone... I'm there.

Me: Yea...... thanks... I'm going over to N.

Grams: Don’t tell Nico what you just told me. He doesn't need to know that.... You two have to get along with each other now and not fight. I think N is the guy for you. I'm pretty sure. And don’t forget what I said, think about the future, not the past. Tomorrow morning, I’ll remove all your wedding photos, you do the same thing in your room. That's rude to N. He didn’t do anything wrong, he was only there for you and I’m glad he’s back with you.

Me: So sorry about your Babies. I won't keep that dress. 😭

Grams: Oh, honey. It's ok. Please don’t think about my twins anymore. It's.... all fine. Afte all, just 2 years later, I got my boys and so you, your sister and M. That’s more than I ever dreamed of.

Agh, this was a lot! Sorry. But everything that has now been mentioned in the conversation between my Grama & me, will become a topic soon.

Previous/Next

[max--phillips]

hi :) i am a training historian focusing heavily on art, and i saw your post about ancient rome on my timeline, and i just wanted to say a few things about your “why we don’t have black art.” of course, you did not ask for this, it just sparked some thoughts and i figured i would drop by and say hello! <3

but if you want to learn some more, here are my two cents xx

1. we’ve only excavated roughly 10ish percent of “ancient rome”. there is a LOT left to discover. the issue with archaeology is that it is very expensive and very laborious, and it takes a long while to reap any sort of reward.

2. back in the 19th and 20th centuries, safe excavation practices were pretty nonexistent, we didn’t have the ‘rule book’ that we do now, so to speak. there are stories of archaeologists using dynamite to dig- so, a lot of stuff has been lost to negligence and ignorance to proper ways of excavating. (it still happens today!) for example, a lot of egypt was excavated by random people, too! not trained archaeologists and historians. for a while, richer folks wanted to have hands on experience with history, so in the early 20th century that’s what they did. (i don’t blame them, i probably would too if i had a shit ton of money!)

3. rome was also notorious for flooding- it’s not on a very nice location geographically. even today, many parts of italy have flooded, destroying hundreds of art pieces and artifacts. (such as the great flood in florence, which happened in 1966) a lot of artifacts are lost to natural disasters.

4. a lot of stuff just doesn’t survive. the fall of rome happened in 476 AD, and that’s over 1500 years ago. an issue i have also discovered is that a lot of surviving tablets and letters from the ancient world are just…. receipts and lists. nothing juicy. they were just normal people, you know?

5. a lot of art from rome could also have been lost to religious wars during the middle ages. that is an academic speculation, but culture is typically the first to go during a religious war or crusade.

6. also, roman art was fragile. all art is. we have lost a multitude of great paintings and pottery because it doesn’t last very long. a big example of this is someone a bit more recent than rome- Da Vinci. He experimented a LOT with types of paintings and techniques. his last supper painting began deteriorating just a few years after he painted it, because he tried to do a well fresco using oil paints. (not good lol) art is not forever, unfortunately, so i can imagine a lot of roman pottery not lasting very long with how fragile it is.

also, one last thing. i think we tend to group ancient societies into one large homogenous blog, and i find that very modernist and dangerous. ancient rome was full of different dialects, people, and groups, and to say they were all one thing it very dangerous. same for ancient greece- it was made up of various tribes! sparta was not athens, etc etc.

i believe that that goes for all history, as well. even well up into the 20rh century.

racism, as we know it, is a fairly newer concept in the historical time line. a lot of slavery back in the ancient world was based on status and wealth, or who was better at fighting, and not necessarily skin color. (still absolutely horrible though. obviously!)

for example, ancient egypt was, as new evidence suggests, a thriving society with multiple people from multiple backgrounds. (we’ve discovered tombs with people who all have different types of skin colors, insinuating that the most important people in their society were made up of a rather inclusive bunch.) and the same goes for north africa, today and then- it is a beautiful and diverse part of the map, and not one country is the same, and neither are their people!

the world is not made up of horrible people, and i think it would do us all some good to remember that. there is more love than hate, there always has been, and we can see it in art throughout time <3 ah, but i digress!

anyways, I have put some beautiful ancient art below depicting people of color. the first one is my fave! xxx

Hell yeah, thank you so much for this input!!!

(I have a lot of feelings about the era of the “I have money and no idea what I’m doing, I’m going to go eat a mummy.” Or “I’m going to go find Troy and inadvertently contribute to the Nazi platform.” (On that note, if you find that article interesting, I highly suggest these episodes of Behind the Bastards on the history of the swastika (part 1, part 2). Because at one point it really was just a symbol that like, every civilization on earth used at one point or another. And then a bunch of racist antisemites had to go and ruin it.) But seriously, Europeans loved eating mummies. Or using them in paint. And generally just destroying priceless artifacts for funsies. It infuriates me much the same way the fact the library at Alexandria was burned infuriates me, y’know?)

But I super agree with you vis a vis the fact we tend to paint “Ancient Rome” and similar societies/empires as a monolith. I mean… here hang on

It goes without saying that today, Spanish culture is different from French is different from British, Italian, Greek, Turkish, Algerian, Egyptian, Palestinian, etc etc etc. And that still would’ve been the case at this point. Sure there was influence (and later, it’s hard to escape the influence of the Catholic Church) but it’s not like Roman soldiers showed up one day in all these different places and replaced the whole local culture with marble columns and olive oil. (I mean, there was probably a lot of olive oil, but that’s besides the point)

I would still argue that there is probably a reason that we don’t see as much Roman-era art of Black people as we probably could, and whose fault that is I don’t know—it could be modern curators, it could be those 19th/20th century “archaeologists,” it could be neither and just pure chance—but I am here right now begging people that if you’re writing in this era, think for a few seconds before you pull all of your inspiration from rows of Roman statues portraying white people. (Also, if I’m remembering correctly, those statues were painted some pretty wild colors at their height, which is neat)

ANYWAY, thank you for the extra info !! I appreciate your expertise on the matter :0 thank you very much for sharing!!

[amypihcs]

Hello my friends! Shoscombe old place, by pure coincidence also the granada episode i'll show to my GF tonight! Let's see what our favourite victorian husbands are doing!

Microscope stuff! aaaaaa i miss the lab! I have a feel that we'll have some really competent Watson in this story! Also, Holmes just projecting a conversation with Watson in his mind and finally replying aloud. It's so cute!

Now in fact Holmes explains, he's doing a favour to a policeman who's a friend, so nice! But NOW is he coming?

I hate it, when people are late! Feeling for you, Holmes! Now, time to make good use of your husband's knowledge! Now he's your handy guide to the turf! Holmes gave Watson a little kissy here!

They go over Mr Robert Norberton and the place he lives in, Watson does know it and yep! He gives his hubby a nice thumbnail of the man. FINALLY, the client!

yes, sit down, and now EXPLAIN. I don't like you. You explained little in your letter and also got here late.

My man. You're talking to queer.jpeg. Holmes' sarcasm is deserved. I love this scene in the granada serie, lol! Holmes turning to Watson, who mouths the word 'horse'. It's FANTASTIC!

You kidding? OF COURSE it won't go beyond the room. Give it a couple of years and it'll end up in the Strand! So -clears throat- yes. Guy NEEDS to win this race. Got it. And is this driving him crazy?

LMAO, You're talking to SHERLOCK HOLMES. Wasn't it for his husband, he would sleep a night yes and two no! WAIT! Mistreating his sis? -growl-

GAVE AWAY HER DOG??? And she, old lady with a bad heart, took to DRINKING?? Maaan, as we say in italy, qua c'è qualquadra che non cosa.

AND AN OLD CRYPT?

Holmes, you're already vibrating, stop, please. Calm down, i get that you're starting to like him, but some bit of control! Now back to the case

Ah. Eh! AAh.

This is an entire conversation. And how i would deal with such a bomb. Well, they start making theories, but the visit doesn't want to fit!

Well, time to light my favorite pipe! -groan- No, Holmes, PLEASE. Not that! -puff puff puff-

-pu.. COUGH COUGH- BONE?? Where did you get it? Well, dear doc, examine that, if you please, darling?

I LOVE COMPETENT WATSON SO MUCH! And so does Holmes! Well, deep and dirty waters. Indeed. Well, at least it wasn't sir Robert, the one burning corpses -phew-

Well, Mr Mason...

W-what? Mr Holmes? -Watson trying not to die of laughter in background-

Ah, perfect!

We coming then, up for a lil trip, Watson? You love fishing! Bye mr Mason, we shall get in touch with you!

[teecupangel]

I saw that box ask and I'm wondering what would happen if the other ancestors also had a box

The “Altaïr and Desmond find boxes that lets them send stuff to one another” ask.

So, since the ask above is AltDes, I’m gonna assume this would be EziDes and ConDes to be fair XD

Ezio:

Ezio would be used to sharing things with his siblings and, even if the Auditores were quite wealthy, Ezio still received some hand-me-downs from Federico. So, in this situation, the best way to ensure Ezio would keep the box a secret would be for him to get the box during a time when he hates the idea that his old stuff will be given to Petruccio. By the time he’s warmed up to the idea of Petruccio having his hand-me-downs, the box has been in his possession long enough that he believes it’s his alone. (also, while this wasn’t stated in Altaïr’s version, Ezio and the others become quite possessive of the box and they think of Desmond as their ‘most treasured secret’)

Desmond’s side remains the same, he finds it the same way, he writes about it the same way. The only difference is that Ezio isn’t all that well-verse in the English language but he is curious about the notes in the box so he looks it up. There’s a few teasing from his siblings about how he’s studying something none of his tutors even tell him to study about and he just laughs it off because teasing is pretty much part of their ‘love language’.

So, because Ezio’s English was barely existent, it takes him a while to write back. He learns that the box does get more notes inside it and he believes he found a magical way to talk to a stranger from far away. The more his English gets better (although it’s quite different from the English the writer of the notes uses), the more he realized how lonely and sad the stranger is so he writes back to him in his broken English but he writes in Italian first, adding the broken English below. In Italian, he writes “I’m sorry I’m not good at English but I just want to write this letter. I hope you’re doing well today.” and then cringes because he’s super polite in the letter ‘cause that’s how he was taught to write letters.

Still, it gets the job done and the next letter sounds less sad and more curious when Ezio read it “Who are you?”

From there, Ezio and Desmond start exchanging letters. Later on, they start exchanging small gifts like candies (Desmond) and little trinkets (Ezio) that could fit inside the box.

It’s when Desmond tells Ezio that he plans to run away that they… start understanding when each other is. Because Ezio’s English is still not that good and Desmond doesn’t know enough about world history, Ezio assumes the weird words Desmond says at times (like microwave) are words from Desmond’s dialect that is not used by the books they have at home while Desmond assumes Ezio is a rich kid and doesn’t understand the importance of names like ‘Medici’. So, in this scenario, Desmond runs away and Ezio is just like “Okay, Desmond! Come to Firenze! I will ask my parents to take you in as our ward!”

Then Desmond gets to Florence (it takes a few months because, well, he’s a kid) and follows Ezio’s instructions while Ezio tells his parents about a friend of his that ran away from a ‘bad place’ and their parents are like “a friend? (raised eyebrow)” but they agree to let the friend stay for a bit, more to check who this friend is. All this ward business… they’ll think about it.

Anyway, Desmond gets to Florence but he can’t find Palazzo Auditore so he starts writing to Ezio and they keep exchanging notes while trying to find one another. Then an old lady that hears Desmond looking for Palazzo Auditore tells him that she had heard legends of that name, an old fallen noble family that had its records destroyed long ago.

And Desmond and Ezio continue to write to one another and Desmond finally asks the question “What year are you from?”

And that’s how they learn that they’re centuries apart from one another.

In this scenario, Desmond stays in Italy for the next couple of years, trying to find out what happened to the Auditores because Ezio is freaking out (They disappeared from records? They’re a fallen noble family???) and that leads him to Villa Auditore because Ezio was like “Maybe it’s just our family. I have an uncle in Monteriggioni. Maybe his descendants are still there.” and then… silence. Ezio doesn’t hear from Desmond until…

Ezio got into a fight with Vieri de' Pazzi on the Ponte Vecchio. He habitually opens the box to check if Desmond would ever send anything, sometimes he would send notes just asking if he’s alright, to please talk to him, anything. After getting patched up by the dottore, he checked the box and his heart skips a beat when he sees the folded paper inside. He opens it and…

“Ezio, your father and brothers will be executed in a few days. Leave Florence now.”

So, in this scenario, all of the checking Desmond did got him in the eyes of Abstergo who captured him wwwaaaayyy earlier. He and Ezio are both the same age and are experiencing the same ‘time’ in the sense that they grow older at the same rate. So Abstergo captured him while he’s 17, a month or so before Ezio gets his face hit by a stone that scars him. And because it’s Abstergo that captures him, they have a bit more information of Ezio’s life which Vidic’s assistant (who is not Lucy) was okay with telling Desmond, thinking it will help him synch with Ezio better. Security isn’t all that big deal at the moment since they think Desmond is a child who would cooperate better if they give him a bit of freedom so he has access to paper and pencil.

In this situation, they skipped Altaïr entirely and went straight for Ezio’s memories.

The butterfly effect on this one starts super early because of Desmond’s warning and only Desmond and Ezio are ‘protected’ and keep their memories even as they change the past which changes Desmond’s present.

Also, because this is super early in the timeline, the Assassins might be able to save Desmond earlier too. Maayybbeee.

Ratonhnhaké:ton

For this one, Ratonhnhaké:ton finds the box in the charred ruins of his village after he failed to save his mother. It was underneath the same log that had pinned his mother and he thought that perhaps it belonged to his mother.

The notes were already there by the time Ratonhnhaké:ton found them and he actually thought they might have belonged to his father instead, perhaps notes that his mother had kept about how his father didn’t like their village at all. Then, the notes disappeared and were replaced by new ones, and Ratonhnhaké:ton starts to wonder where these notes are coming from.

So, at this point, Ratonhnhaké:ton was curious about whoever was sending these notes and he brings them to the clan mother who is his grandmother. The clan mother thinks it is a curious thing and she does not remember her daughter ever having one. She encourages Ratonhnhaké:ton to try and contact the one sending the message. Perhaps they could provide guidance to Ratonhnhaké:ton in some way as it did appear underneath the village.

In this one, Ratonhnhaké:ton and Desmond talk to each other in English although Ratonhnhaké:ton is teaching Desmond Kanien'kéha. Ratonhnhaké:ton mostly sends little trinkets like feathers from birds he hunted himself and Desmond usually sends candies as well. Desmond's most prized possession is a necklace Ratonhnhaké:ton made himself. A very similar one to the one he has on his neck where the box is. He made it for Desmond so Desmond could wear the box like him (and because he heard of this thing called 'friendship bracelet' from Desmond and wanted something similar to share with Desmond)

Unlike the Ezio version, Desmond has a vague idea that Ratonhnhaké:ton’s words were strange so they realized they’re not the same time period early on.

Now, here’s where the butterfly effect hits Desmond instead because Ratonhnhaké:ton tries to become an Assassin… at the age of 13. Desmond is still on the Farm by that point and reading the training Ratonhnhaké:ton goes thru…

You guess it.

This is a timeline where Desmond never left the Farm. Instead, Ratonhnhaké:ton’s earnest wish to be an Assassin to protect his village pushes Desmond to do better. Not for his father but because it makes him feel connected with Ratonhnhaké:ton.

In this setup, Desmond starts his ‘next training’ the same time Ratonhnhaké:ton becomes an Assassin (and there’s some light teasing about how Desmond is lagging behind, just friendly banter that makes Ratonhnhaké:ton and Desmond smile) and he learns that his father had acquired an Animus (a very early iteration) and wants to use it to speed up Desmond’s growth. The plan was for him to relive the legendary Ezio Auditore’s memories but something happens.

When they try to load Ezio’s memories, it fails and loads a different memory…

A memory from an unknown ancestor with the date in the Animus saying November 6, 1773.

So… the main point is… Ratonhnhaké:ton and Ezio got fucked by the narrative super early so Desmond gets fucked by the narrative earlier as well. Altaïr, while his life did sorta suck early on (Umar died at 11, Abbas threw away their friendship during their teen years, Adha died, etc), he actually didn’t really get fucked by the narrative until later on?

[burningvelvet]

Messages from Lake Geneva, July 29th, 1816…

Mary Shelley’s Journal Entry from July 29th, 1816:

“Monday, July 29. — Write; read Voltaire and Quintus Curtius. A rainy day, with thunder and lightning. Shelley finishes Lucretius, and reads Pliny’s Letters.”

Lord Byron writes his friend, the poet Samuel Rodgers, informing him of his travels and asking about their friends in England:

“July 29th. 1816 —

Diodati — Geneva

Dear Rogers —

Do you recollect a book? Mathison's letters — which you lent me — which I have still — & yet hope to return to your library? — well — I have encountered at Copet and elsewhere Gray's Correspondent (in its’ Appendix) that same Bonstetten - (to whom I lent ye. translation of his Correspondent's epistles for a few days) — but all he could remember of Gray amounts to little — except that he was the most ‘melancholy and gentlemanlike’ of all possible poets. —

Bonstetten himself is a fine & very lively old man - and much esteemed by his Compatriots — he is also a litterateur of good repute — and all his friends have a mania of addressing to him volumes of letters — Mathison — Muller the historian &c. &c. He is a good deal at Copet — where I have met him a few times. — All there are well — except Rocca — who I am sorry to say — looks in a very bad state of health the Duchess seems grown taller — but — as yet — no rounder since her marriage — Schlegel is in high force — and Madame as brilliant as ever. —

I came here by the Netherlands — and the Rhine Route — & Bale — Berne — Morat — & Lausanne — I have circumnavigated the lake — and shall go to Chamouni — with the first fair weather — but really we have had lately such stupid mists — fogs — rains — and perpetual density — that one would think Castlereagh had the foreign affairs of the kingdom of Heaven also — upon his hands. —— I need say nothing to you of these parts - you having traversed them already —— I do not think of Italy before September.

I have read ‘Glenarvon’

‘From furious Sappho scarce a milder fate

—— by her love — or libelled by her hate.’

& have also seen Ben. Constant's Adolphe — and his preface denying the real people — it is a work which leaves an unpleasant impression — but very consistent with the consequences of not being in love — which is perhaps as disagreeable as any thing — except being so — I doubt however whether all such ‘liens’ (as he calls them) terminate so wretchedly as his hero & heroine's. ——

There is a third Canto (a longer than either of the former of Ch[il]de. Har[ol]d. finished — and some smaller things — among them a story on the ‘Chateau de. Chillon’ — I only wait a good opportunity to transmit them to the Grand Murray — who — I hope — flourishes. — Where is Moore? — why an't he out? — my love to him - and my perfect consideration & remembrances to all - particularly to Lord & Lady

Holland - & to your Duchess of Somerst.

ever yrs. very truly

BN

P.S.

I send you a fac simile - a. note of Bonstetten's thinking you might like to see the hand of Gray's Correspondent.”

[josefavomjaaga]

I realise this may be too specific but I'm wondering what Eugene liked about Auguste, his wife, and vice versa? And what attracted them to each other? Or is this a case of love at first sight? 😆

Hi and thank you for the question! 💖 As to the answer – well, as usual, it depends a lot on who you ask. 😊

According to some observers (mostly on the French side), it really seemed to have been a case of love on first sight. Josephine’s lady-in-waiting Mademoiselle Avrillion, the same who already had mistaken her host Max Joseph for a maréchal du palais, claims that during the very first meeting on 10 January 1806, after Eugène had been introduced to king, queen and his betrothed, bride and groom had been left alone in the salon in order to discuss matters. According to Mademoiselle Avrillion, after ten minutes the two of them left the room, hand in hand, beaming and very ready to sacrifice themselves for the sake of their respective fatherlands.

In truth, it was not that simple. At least judging by the letters queen Karoline of Bavaria wrote to her mother (I’ve written a bit about that in this post), and by one of the last entries Auguste wrote into her diary only a short time before her death:

[…] However, at first I only felt happy because I could prove to my father how much I loved him, my family and Bavaria ... Only when I recognised Eugène's beautiful, good and brilliant qualities did I consider myself lucky to be his wife. […]

So, in her memory, she had only agreed to the marriage for political reasons at first, but had learned to love her husband later. However, it must have been a steep learning-curve, as by mid 1806 she already tells her brother that »you will never be as nice to your wife as my husband is to me«, and whines to everybody who will listen, including Napoleon, when Napoleon dares to send Eugène away on some administrative mission.

Continuing with the quote from Auguste’s diary above:

I loved him so much from the bottom of my soul that I was not jealous when I noticed him distinguishing another woman, which happened frequently, was only distressed that one could find fault with him. It was wrong that he never knew this because it prevented him from seeing my goodness in its full extent. He would certainly have put his full trust in me.

Her love continued (maybe even intensified) after Eugène’s early death in 1824. Like many people in Eugène’s family and entourage, she felt that Eugène, because he never made much fuss about himself and tended to play down his own achievements, never had received the recognition he would have deserved. The fact that she was unable to restore his »house« to glory, the fact that her last remaining son became a Russian, almost broke her heart.

As to what she loved about Eugène – well, she obviuosly felt, right away, that this new husband she had acquired resembled in many aspects to her father. At least that is what she wrote to her brother in one of the letters some months after her marriage. She’s not wrong: he was just as affable and sociable, had more political cunning than people gave him credit for, and just like Max Joseph he hated all kind of pomp and etiquette (unfortunately, as viceroy of Italy he had no choice in that regard) and enjoyed nothing better but a simple, very »bourgeois« family life. Eugène being basically a younger version of Max Joseph, as far as his personality was concerned, would also explain why those two immediately liked each other and would develop a close friendship over the years.

As to Eugène - there is little to nothing about his true feelings, as usual. What I dare say is that Auguste proved to be a huge emotional support for him, guessing from his letters in times of stress, like in 1809 and 1813/4. During the disputes with Napoleon in the first months of 1814, they seem to have relied entirely on each other.

Thank you once more for the Ask!

[rosencrantzsguildenstern]

In 1990s Oregon, Mike (who is based on Ned Poins) is a street kid and sex worker who is searching for his mother. His best friend, Scotty, (based on Prince Hal) is also a street kid and sex worker, but is also the son of the mayor, and knows he can go back to the comfortable wealth of his father whenever he wants, but choses to spend his time with the other street kids. The kid's "leader" is Bob (Falstaff). The two of them leave on a journey to find Mike's mother, taking them from Oregon, to Idaho, to Italy. While in Italy, Scotty falls in love with a girl called Carmella, and leaves Mike and the other street kids behind, taking on his father's wealth, getting married to Carmella, and becoming a prominent figure in society.

The best movie ever. River Phoenix. River Phoenix's best performance ever. Keanu Reeves' best performance ever. Bob is the best portrayal/adaptation of Falstaff ever. Some of the best dialogue ever. Also the scene where falstaff is lying to the group about why he failed the robbery is done SO well in My Own Private Idaho. It's so inherently Shakespearean. Also Mike is one of The characters ever. One of THE best scenes ever (the campfire scene)

A high-school boy, Cameron, cannot date Bianca until her anti-social older sister, Kat, has a boyfriend. So, Cameron pays the school bad boy, Patrick, to charm Kat.

The poem: beautiful.

Kat Stratford: hot

Patrick Verona: also hot

Kat and Bianca's father: hilarious

Joey: awful

The soundtrack: all bangers (especially the Letters to Cleos songs)

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 11 🕺🏼

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

One time when I was in third grade, I randomly decided to pair up two people in my class. No real reason, I just wanted to see if it worked. So, I wrote a love letter to one of them and signed from the other. I put it on his shelf.

Now, here’s the thing: I accidentally left it on the wrong shelf. I left it on the shelf next to his. The girl who got it, she CLEARLY could read that it was adressed to him. But was she a normal person who realized it was put on the wrong shelf and gave it back? NO. She went to the TEACHER about this.

Now, uh… some extra context. I didn’t just write a love letter. I at first drew a picture of stick figures fighting, so that I would ”make him more interested”. And I guess this girl was shocked over the stick figures fighting.

The teacher recognized my handwriting I guess, and she confronted me about it. I was like ”my name is not even on it??” because, again, I was trying to pair up two people in my class, I pretended the love letter was from someone else. She didn’t believe me and was like ”tell me. Is it that you might have a crush on him? 😉” and I was like … ??? I signed it with someone else’s name, OBVIOUSLY I wanted to pair THEM up.

Also neither part of the two people I wanted to pair up ever found out about this. All because I put the goddamn letter on the wrong shelf and the girl who got it was a tattle tale who ruined everything

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Reminds me of when I was mad at someone and I decided to write a hateful letter that I put on her shelf. But then I was afraid it would come off as targeting, so I wrote letters to OTHERS too, INCLUDING TO MYSELF so that I would seem innocent.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

You two are my idols.

17 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

When I have a kid I wanna raise them nonbinary, until they are old enough to decide a gender of their own, or not, or switch between different ones if that’s what they feel like! 🩷

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

WOW this did not reach the right crowd…

1679 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

Knowing lots of europeans they’ve been trying to get me to vote for their countries in Eurovision (since you can vote anywhere in the world nowadays).

Anyway, they are always like ”vote for Italy!! No, vote for Spain!!”

And like. At this point I tbh rather vote for Sweden.

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Violetta if you DARE to vote for Sweden I will break up with you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

We are not dating?

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

I will break up with you as a friend.

Platonic breakup.

Period.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Smooth.

10 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Stuff me and my childhood friends have performed on stage as kids:

- This unclear skit where we said a spell to turn me into Santa. I lost my last baby tooth during that.

- We sang ”best friend” by Toy Box. Or, ”sang”, we mimicked to it because we couldn’t speak english. We also didn’t know the implications of that song.

- We did an entire play all improvised. Everyone thought we had it scripted. It was the best thing we ever performed

- I wanted to be a magician for a while. She was my assistant. We did some pretty cool magic tricks

- We decided to roller skate on a small stage. It worked, but everyone was afraid we were gonna fall

- The microphone throwing incident™️

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I think of the microphone throwing incident often

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

And you’re not gonna tell us about that incident?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Nope.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

You had to be there.

67 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

I think two of my teachers are secretly fucking

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

If this is about my aunt and Pablo… then well. Yeah.

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

NO THIS IS ABOUT PABLO AND GREGORIO

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

HELP

🏍️ entre-dos-mundos Follow

DO NOT TELL DIEGO ABOUT THIS

#Please say he does not have a Tumblr #LUDMILA IF YOU SEE THIS DON’T YOU DARE SCREENSHOT AND SEND TO HIM

7 notes

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Having your girlfriend also having been your best friend since middle school means she knows ALL about your awkward phases and moments… I cannot hide anything from her.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I was even more cringe, come on.

We’re in this together🩷

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I can imagine you two being even more cringe than what you are now. I’m glad I didn’t go through awkward phases or had embarrassing moments like everyone else in middle school.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Remember when you fell on your roller skates while skating literally 10 meters per hour?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

AND HE TOLD ME HE NEVER EVER FELL AND THAT HE WAS ALWAYS PRO AT ROLLER SKATING.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Matteo is just a clown thinking he knows everything

😎 rapmiro Follow

Hey! I don’t like you speaking to my friend like that! He is very good and he does know a lot!

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Then marry him.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Why do I bother joining your reblogs, it always takes some really weird turn-

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Admit it, Ámbar. You like it. You like seeing us cause a mess. You like it both irl and online. It’s only online that you can admit it.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

See I am this close to blocking all of you and also start a new Tumblr account because What is happening right now. What is the subject? Why are you like this?

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?

18 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

What do you do when you wake up with an… intimate dream about someone and you’ve never had any fantasy about them like that before

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

A hot tip is to not post it on Tumblr where everyone you know is following you, cause we are nosy.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Not true! Everyone I know don’t even have Tumblr!

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Don’t change the subject. We can and we will figure it out. Thanks for telling us!

90 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Sometimes I look at my biological aunt and I am like. Wow. You knew me when I was a baby. Maybe you babysat me at some point.

Because she is just… this cold human who seems to hate everyone else. And to imagine she at some point probably had to watch me during the day while my parents needed to run some errands feels… SO weird.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

She’s also caught me in the most weirdest situations. I am lucky now that she can’t see me.

The other day I had a tampon up my nose while she was in her once per month hour visitation at our house. I walked inside the room she was in and noticed her there. I was stiff for a moment, feeling like I needed to explain myself.

She and I have a very strained relationship, but she tries to better herself. So she was like ”I know those footsteps… is it you, Luna?”

I was like ”Yeah…”

”How are you feeling?”

”Good…”

I was waiting for her to bring up the elephant in the room, and then I realized ”oh wait… she can’t see me…” and then I sighed in relief.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

But why DID you have a tampon up your nose?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I got a nosebleed from accidentally punching myself when I tried to open a very hard cap on a bottle

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Ok, so why…

You know what? Sounds pretty reasonable. I’m also glad your aunt couldn’t see you, even if it’s also a bit tragic she can’t see…

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

Sorry if this question is personal, and if it is you’re totally allowed to not reply. I am just curious: How did she lose her eyesight?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

She burned her eyes trying to burn the house down

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

Oh. Well, I guess that explains why she only has an hour of visitation once a month. Thank you for replying.

24 notes

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I have talked to several people that apparently did some really weird thing when they sat in the car as kids, and even still do it:

When sitting in the passenger seat, they apparently look out the window and... imagine this imaginary creature or imaginary human running next to the car, sliding on the railings, sometimes skateboarding/snowboarding... just doing all this strange parkour.

Why do you do this? It sounds super weird?

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

So when you look out the window on a car trip you just imagine nothing????????

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Yeah? I just see what I see passing by, I don't think about a random imaginary creature doing parkour on stop signs and railings

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

You had a boring childhood, man. Life is so much more fun if you imagine the little things.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

When I was younger I even pretended imaginary people jumping between houses where I walked, or clung onto airplanes! xD

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

But like... why?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

BECAUSE IT'S FUN.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Yeah, even I did this. Now, I imagine someone roller skating rather than running. I saw them skating on the road first and foremost at a car speed, and jumped at any obstacle. It helped me imagine new tricks I could do.

And yes, it was a lot of fun, too. It was an escapism for some of us who really needed some escapism to cope with our everyday life. A little warmth in the cold.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Well I guess I could get that, but I never had escapism. I just lived the way I lived and stayed in reality at all times.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Sometimes I am hit with the reality that some people are not born with any imagination whatsoever. I pity them.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I have imagination!!! I just didn't imagine fake people doing parkour next to the car.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

But you have to admit your imagination is boring.

79 notes

🧢 everythingscominguponmaxi Follow

I had an interesting dream last night.

Apparently there was this philosophy that there was only one normal person that you knew. If you didn’t know anyone, you were the normal person.

This caused people to question what is normal and what is not.

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

So there’s really only one normal person on earth?

🧢 everythingscominguponmaxi Follow

No, who is considered normal depends on the person, but the philosophy states that everyone only knows one normal person. For me it can be one person, but for you, who knows other people than me, might have another person in mind.

The question is now… who is the normal person in your life?

5000 notes

[ughgoaway]

all (or most) pasta is also noodles I’m sorry to say 🤓 macaroni = noodles, spaghetti = noodles, egg noodles = noodles I DONT MAKE THE RULES!!

NO, I REFUSE!! the dough is made differently for noodles vs. pasta, and they're cooked/prepared differently!! I refuse to accept this. Americans are WRONG. Italy and China are disappointed in yall for not knowing the difference between their creations </3

other american-isms I have no issue with. call it a sidewalk I don't care! nor do I care about diapers or shopping carts or groceries. but there are a few things I'm PASSIONATE about.

niche. why are we pronouncing it "nitch" and not "neesh". THAT SOUNDS UGLY AND THERE IS NO T.

foyer. it's not foy-er cmon guys

missing the letter "u" out of everything. HOW ARE YOU IN THE USA AND HATE THE LETTER U.

and finally, calling pasta noodles.

however, despite these few issues, I still do love my American moots and followers - I can forgive y'all <3

[carrotcakecrumble]

hi!! 🥰 3, 6, 8, 9, 10, 14, 16 and 20 for the FT asks? :D

3. What is your favourite episode and why?

One day I will list all of them and why because ALL OF THEM. But with a loaded pistol held to my head I’d have to say ‘your nuts roasting on an open fire’ (4?) 1. Because sorry but who came up with that title is it in the book???? i love it. 2. BECAUSE.. BECAUSE,., BACEUSE…BECAUSE E,, BECAUSE UHM. BECAUSE .. Them. Them spending their Christmas together. The TIE!!!!! Tim’s little shoulder giggle in bed. Hawk picking that bespectacled twink UP. ROCKETTES IN RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL BABY!!!!!. The cufflinks paralleled with the bracelet. That scene where they move the plot along during foreplay??? You know the ‘why can I never say no to you?’ Bit like UGH. Also!!! Tim’s family!!! Him so happy to be wearing the cufflinks at Christmas dinner always finishes me🧎🏻‍♀️ and then so much more but my memory exists only in 5 second segments and weird smells so i can’t think off the top of my head but. Basically just everything🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

6. What is your favourite parallel/reference in the show?

I don’t know about it being my favourite, I’d have to put a lot more thought in to admit something like that, but one that’s been on my mind recently that I haven’t seen talked about very much is the scene where Hawk tells Tim about his plan to move to Italy and asks Tim to keep it between them, and Tim throws out the most Chekhov’s gun of reply and goes ‘I’ll take it to my grave’ and he DOES. when Lucy comes to talk to him in the 80s, he knows their planning on moving to Italy. He knows Hawk’s plan for Italy. I think maybe at that point, he’s kind of certain that Lucy does too, they don’t need to say it outloud. idk. I just kind of. he kept his promise girls i

8. How did you discover Fellow Travelers? / 9. What is your favourite headcanon(s)? / 10. If the show had one more episode, what would it be about? (Answered in my first ask reply!!)

14. Do you have any unpopular opinions about Fellow Travelers?

I’ve seen a LOT of hate for Lucy’s big final speech in the 80s saying goodbye to Hawk, especially the ‘I thought, once he was dead, things might all be over and we could live like a normal couple’ (paraphrasing) and like I get it, she’s wishing for our special little lesbian lumberjacks death and like bitch omg. But also not at all bitch, that piece of writing was so BEAUTIFULLY truthful. We spend 8 episodes of everyone just lying and lying and lying. To themselves and everyone else around them. Then BOOM episode 8 comes and everything’s just finally laid arse cheeks out in the sun after DECADES and it’s so REFRESHING. Like yeah, ofc she wished Tim was just gone. I get it. She’s held onto this hope she never actually really believed in because the lying had clawed in so DEEP, that thinking there might be a way out of the mess they’ve curated for themselves in life without having to up-end everything good in it as well, was all she had. Telling herself Tim’s death would be the end of it, even though she knows about the other affairs (the gardener i think it is?? etc), was the last bit of hope she had, just how Hawk seems to have stuck his claws into the Italy dream and not let go of it the entire time, despite knowing he’s dug far too deep in for it to ever become a reality now. But then she meets Tim and realises this isn’t just the soldier who wrote the love letter or the criminal Hawk kept in his cabin, this is the man Hawk loves, and that’s never going to just be gone. This ruins everything. She can’t hold onto the lies or the hope anymore. And she tells Hawk all of this and it’s so raw and beautiful and brave and we BOO her???? no not on my watch girls. No more Lucy hate!!!!! I’m leading the march

16. If you could give the show an alternative ending, what would happen in your version?

It was all a bad dream Tim had from drinking some slightly gone off milk and uhm they actually get uhm married and live happily ever after in San Francisco attending aerobic classes <333

Ok no but, I really like the ending. I was STRESSED about how they were gonna pull it off satisfyingly with so many ends to tie up and not a lot of time left to do it but WAOW did they give us something beautiful !!!! I think maybe something I would have liked to see (not actually changed, but just purely selfishly bc i love them) is Tim and Hawk dancing at the gala 🥹 like i get why they didn’t, that would have been too much of a leap for Hawk’s character at that point in time but AGH how i would have fallen at Ron’s feet and kissed the ground that little man walks on if we had got to see that

20. If Fellow Travelers had a spin-off or continuation, what would you like it to be about?

i want a PREQUEL and i want to see Kenny and I want to see Bob and I want to see Lucy’s trip to Europe and I want to see more of that initial relationship between Hawk and Lucy’s brother (pardon me but what the shit is his name again? Kevin or something??) because listen there is something there, they only briefly go into it but i can literally see all scenes in my head, there’s so much potential!!! I need to go read some fics now

[savannah-5555]

Jily Regency fic idea

after getting into regency romance over the holidays, I outlined a jily fic in my notes but didn’t use any names just in case someone finds it in my notes 😂

hopefully one day I’ll be brave enough to write it

.

Regency- he’s titled, and she’s new money merchant class

But they meet abroad and there they are just “regular” people to each other , the family history is unknown to the other person 

Meet abroad in Italy, where they both speak Italian and use only Italian names, romance starts, he gifts her a bracelet,

misscominicatoon bc a letter from his mom says he needs to come home and get married but really he had business w dad and his mom wasn’t serious about marriage/ only teasing …. But she reads the letter by accident bc it was left out and is heart broke

MISCOMMUNICATION trope 

She leaves without saying goodbye, the family is packed up and gone, he cannot find her/ some other dramatic parting 

1- 2 years later, back in England 

Maybe a year or two passes, it’s the season , he’s definitely flirting with other women

he notices  sees someone with *the* bracelet, someone’s husband won it at for her  a card house

He knows it was hers, goes to the card house, trying to trace the steps, He cannot find her, only knows her by her Italian name 

Masquerade ball, they meet, speaking in English so they sound different, they realize it’s the other somehow, and she is PO bc it’s like “oh so you’re interested bc I have money but when I was just a commoner it wasn’t enough for you”

And he’s like “No Whaf— tries to explain but she doesn’t believe him”

He tries to win her back, she has to play nice in society bc of his status and also so it rubs off on her sister who married a lower ranking noble/ not as popular standing

And she wants to look out for her sister

Something happens and her reputation is at stake of being ruined for being caught with him alone in a garden or something 

And he asks if they can get married even though she’ll hate him to save her reputation 

And she shouts “I don’t have to marry you and I don’t care about my damn reputation, I’ll leave this country  for good and marry someone without a title who actually cares”

And her sister basically begs her to marry him because sisters  reputation will be scared from the occurrence

FORCED MARRIAGE TROPE

during the marriage preparation she cannot even stand to be with him alone / let’s it known that she’s only doing it for her sister / does not want to hear it 

.

She wants to let him in but is so heartbroken about the miscommunication situation that happened a couple years earlier;

Something like “it’s very convenient for you to tell me this now”

Somehow he needs to find letters that he wrote his friend to prove that he was in love with her; luckily his friend saves all of those letters so she  can read first hand 

.

There’s a lot of drama since he’s marrying someone outside of the nobility classes into “new money” and also the threat of them being discovered and her doing it purposely to force his hand, and he basically has to defend her to everyone

They get married

And they do eventually leave to travel bc both love seeing the world and don’t care for the gossipers