#and also made me completely rethink J as a character

[peacockrulz]

juzi for the juzi nation maybe? just read hostile takeover by snugglesquiggle and it gave me fatal juzi disease

Thanks now I'm infected!!! (also bonus doodle under the cut)

(requests are still open!)

This is seriously the first time I've drawn juzi??? I need to fix that.

[katnissmellarkkk]

Alrightttt, I’m on a roll so we’re going onto chappy five 🥳🥳🥳😎😎

I know the movies made the Capitol — re: basically only Effie and maybe Caesar — have those ridiculous made up accents but .... I actually feel like the description of the Capitol accent in the book is supposed to be like the Kardashians or Paris Hilton’s voice. 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Why do these people speak in such a high pitch? Why do their jaws barely open when they talk? Why do the ends of their sentences go up as if they're asking a question? Odd vowels, clipped words, and always a hiss on the letter s. no wonder it's impossible not to mimic them.” Like this is a pretty good description of how Kim Kardashian and her sisters talk. And Suzzy C did say she was inspired by the juxtaposition between war news footage and ridiculous reality television shows so... I think my theory of the Capitol all talking like they’re on the Real Housewives of LA is pretty valid.

Just imagine Paris Hilton as Effie and Nicole Richie as one of her preps

Lolololol this whole section of waxing is reminding me to go get my legs waxed 😭😭😭 straight up calling me out here, Suzanne

I like how Katniss says her stylist “apparently has no interest in seeing her until the prep team has addressed obvious problems.” Like you can tell from her narration she was expecting to feel the same was about Cinna that she does about Effie and her prep team.

The “gritty loam that takes off dirt and three layers of skin” is probably just a strong exfoliator 😭😭😭 my girl knows nothing about quality skincare 🤧🤧 someone build a Panem Sephora

She mentioned them waxing her underarms.... girl, did you have hairy armpits before this? Idk why this revelation is new to me

“Grease her down!” Just sounds wrong 😅😅😅😅 I need to stop being annoying omg I’m like a twelve year old

Hmm it’s funny to me that Katniss refers to Octavia as plump. You’d think in a place like the Capitol body image and weight would be very important. Unless it’s like back in the old, old days when being overweight was a sign of wealth. Which would make more sense so this was an unnecessary thought process curtesy of Samantha

Katniss faking a smile and thanking her prep team shows she does know how to play the game and fake it better than she says.

So ... okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to get over the top or make this into something it’s not but ... the whole stylists / Cinna coming into the room and staring at her naked is a little weird. Especially considering Cinna isn’t Lenny Kravitz who’s like a bit older than her but actually like a twenty-something year old dude.

But okay, here’s the thing I was getting at ... Cinna’s one of the best people in this series and you can’t deny that. Even if you find him boring, he’s still one of Katniss’ closest people. Also he’s probably gay. But like ... what about the other stylists? I don’t wanna be that person who makes everything more than it is, but like, this scene just sounds like a perfect opportunity for some Capitol creep to assault a teenager idk I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill just ignore Samantha okay.

That’s nice that he complimented her mama though 🥰🥰🥰

So Katniss calls District Twelve the least desirable district but ... doesn’t District Eleven suck too? Like she also later says District Twelve is the smallest and the poorest but doesn’t she also say Rue is worse off than her and Prim? Make up your mind, Suz.

Cinna claims he asked for District Twelve but did he really get an option? 😅 If it’s his first year and Katniss claims the newbies get them anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️ Samantha is once again, reading too much into this.

Awww, Katniss is thinking about how long it would take for her to assemble this fancy meal at home 🤧🤧🤧 it would take her days and the Capitol just has the necessary resources at their disposal and they just takes it for granted. And yes, I’m aware this is supposed to be calling all us readers out who take so much for granted I know. We’re the Capitol.

“How would I spend the hours I now commit to combing the woods for sustenance if it were so easy to come by?” It’s honestly so sad but so vital to her character that Katniss has zero hobbies or real free time. Her life is about surviving. She doesn’t get to live or enjoy very much of her time. She dedicates everything to keeping Prim — and her mother — alive, sacrificing everything a teenage girl should be doing. Sacrificing even the things the other girls in her world get to do. She mentions the merchant girls and the Seam girls who are more experienced romantically and sexually and socially than her. Because she doesn’t get to be a kid or innocent or even happy, in order to focus on her and her family’s survival. And the things she does enjoy, like spending time with Gale or dancing with Prim (mentioned in Mockingjay) she downplays in case they’re taken away, because nothing good is secure in her eyes. 🥺🥺🥺

Okay but what did Katniss’ facial expression give away that Cinna knew exactly what she was thinking? Or is she just less emotionless than she and Haymitch both claim? Ironically I think they’re the only people who call her emotionless which can easily be chalked up to their self-hate and terrible self-esteems.

Katniss is so afraid they’re gonna make her be naked for the parade 😭. Honestly though they’re children that’s so creepy that they’re even allowed to make 15/16/17 year olds be naked in a parade. I mean I know they kill kids every year but isn’t there like child pornography laws in Panem? 😭

“You’re not afraid of fire, are you, Katniss?” Is so foreshadowing 😭😂😅😎 Caesar Flickerman’s voice “Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!”

Honestly though Cinna is smart to make Katniss recognizable in the arena by leaving her with simple makeup. I know and the sky is blue we all know this already beating the dead horses until the farmer comes home.

“It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.” It’s true though 😅😅😅😭😭 he was always a rebel. I actually think he may have asked for District Twelve after Katniss volunteered, because he saw the potential in her. Poor Peeta. Baby, I’m rooting you for even if no one else is.

Also I always found it a bit .... curious? That Peeta had a female stylist and Katniss had a male one? Not just because of the required nudity, you’d just think men would do better as a boy’s stylist and a woman would make a better girl’s stylist. So yes, my whole Cinna was interested in District Twelve because Katniss seemed like a good symbol for a rebellion idea seems very plausible.

I know I know I know I read wayyy too much into this stuff sometimes a cigarette 🚬 is just a cigarette 🚬

Katniss being relieved when Peeta shows up 😭😭😭 because even if she won’t admit it and even if she won’t let herself trust him, she still sees him unconsciously and completely against her will as a comfort because they’re in this thing together in a way, even if they’re supposed to try and kill each other

And honestly, it’s such a like... relatable feeling? To feel alone and nervous and uptight and then someone who you recognize — even if you maybe aren’t even friends with but you at least know — shows up and you just instantly feel less alone. I’m totally looking at this through shipper goggles and I’m not even ashamed you all knew who’s blogging you were reading ight? 😂🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

“He should know about fire, being a baker's son and all.” And he’s gonna learn a lot more about it when he falls in love — for real, falls in love, not a childhood infatuation — with the girl on fire. 🥰🥰🥰

But also, I love this particular line on a reread because it totally is an indicator towards their future. Like Peeta knows about fire, he’s experienced with how to handle it, and later on, he becomes the only person who truly comes to understand Katniss, who represents fire, in a way that no one else could ever imagine.

Hmmm, Katniss’ point of view here, talking about how Portia and Peeta’s team seem all giddy and air-headed and it’s only Cinna who seems reserved makes me rethink my previous imaginings of Peeta’s stylist. Maybe she’s just a Capitolite idiot and nothing like Cinna. And my baby got a raw deal here then too. Good thing Haymitch loves him more. Just kidding 😅😅😅

But also I wanna know why Cinna is hesitant to accept congratulations for his and Portia’s idea? Wasn’t he at least lowkey excited about it when he pitched it a page ago?

Their horses are coal black 🐴 😅. I like that they went the whole nine yards with the theme. Nothing but the best for the kids on Death Row.

Aww Katniss asking Peeta what he thinks about being set on fire is so sweet and pure for some reason. I just find their commodore here cute ok

“I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine” this is literally their first friend type of interaction and it’s so pure y’all leave me be I’m emotional for them

🙃 Also lowkey reminds me of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Everyone look away ok I’m sorry

Peeta’s shady/annoyed Haymitch comment and Katniss��� joke at his expense 🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂🥲🥲☺️🥲🥲 they’re bonding it’s so presh

“And suddenly we're both laughing.” I hope they laugh a lot together post-canon 🥲🥲🥲. If they can make the other laugh during their terrible circumstances, then they can make the other laugh anywhere. 🤧 Except in Thirteen because he’s hijacked and she’s certifiable and they’re both so used and abused and 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Okay I have to say, Suzanne Collins really builds up a lot for certain events and then just like grazes over the actual action of said event? Like she builds towards the tribute parade but then kind of rushes through off the actual event itself? It’s a common theme in her writing. And I don’t like it at all ngl.

Oh wait she doesn’t actually rush the parade events the paragraph before just looked like she was about to I jumped the gun 🤣😂🤭 but what I said is still completely true for many events in these books sorry not sorry

I’m definitely reading too much into it but the fact that District One — the favorite of the Capitol — gets snow white horses and District Twelve gets coal black horsies kind of ... seems to imply something .... 🤭

Cinna just lets out a sigh of relief “it worked” like ... way to fill your tributes with hope, dude. “Yeah, you’re totally safe, don’t be scared-OH THANK GOD THAT WORKED I wasn’t actually sure you wouldn’t blow up.” But actually this answers my previous inquiry about why he seemed hesitant I guess he wasn’t even sure this wouldn’t burn them up that’s nice 🤭🙃

It’s a literal trial by fire *cue drum hit* 🥁 aww, I just cracked myself up 😭

“Then he gently tucks a hand under my chin. "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you!" This is caught halfway between being very Capitol-y and very father-brotherly and idk which way to take it but it’s kind of cute 🤭

“For the first time, I look at him and realize that ablaze with the fake flames, he is dazzling.” This is such a significant line because Katniss isn’t saying Peeta is technically good looking (like when Haymitch said they were decently attractive) or someone else thinks he’s good looking (i.e Gale, her mother and lowkey Finnick) but she’s saying she herself thinks he’s attractive. Girl, your crush is showing.

"I think he said for us to hold hands," says Peeta.” I’m sure Cinna actually did say that but this just seems like a very good opportunity for Peeta to hold the hand of the girl he has a massive crush on. 😭😭😭

Okay Cinna gave a thumbs up so he actually was saying that but can you imagine Peeta’s excitement right now?

I mean, yeahhhh, there’s the certain death looming over him too but like live in the moment, babe. 🥰😘🤗👌🏻

I like that Katniss says the crowd is at first like 😳😳😳 before they start cheering like they’re thinking “what are these backwoods, hillbilly kids doing this year?”

“At first, I'm frozen, but then I catch sight of us on a large television screen and am floored by how breathtaking we look. In the deepening twilight, the firelight illuminates our faces” okay they both have to be pretty naturally attractive people objectively, because you illuminate my face without much makeup and no one is gonna be cheering.

“Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you! I hear Cinna's voice in my head. I lift my chin a bit higher, put on my most winning smile, and wave with my free hand.” I wonder what the true difference is for Katniss between Cinna and Effie saying this to her? Maybe it’s that Effie is just outright mean to her sometimes whereas Cinna shows her nothing but kindness from the start and expresses sympathy and understanding? It’s probably that he’s already earning her trust versus Effie who’s just cruel I’m not over her comments on the train ok

“I'm glad now I have Peeta to clutch for balance, he is so steady, solid as a rock.” Right from the start, Katniss refers to Peeta as solid and steady. Idk, I feel like this is something that the movies really misses along the way. Katniss wasn’t always strong or confident at all and Peeta, at least publicly, exuded those qualities pretty well. Samantha’s complaining again ™️ 💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Also this is just outright foreshadowing how Peeta will eventually become her rock. Or that he will be soon painted a rock ... pick and choose which way you wanna go with this. 🤷🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️😅🤣

“As I gain confidence, I actually blow a few kisses to the crowd.” Okay, see I feel like Peeta really gives Katniss confidence in herself. If he’d been there in District Thirteen and they’d done propos together, she probably would have been a thousand times better.

But also this makes me think Katniss actually has it in her to be a charismatic, confident, alluring celebrity. She just chooses not to. 🤗🤗🤗

But this also reminds me of “She has no idea the effect she can have” okay imma move on and stop focusing on every little detail

I say that every chapter 🤧😅

“The pounding music, the cheers, the admiration work their way into my blood, and I can't suppress my excitement.” Say whatever you want, Katniss is still such a girl underneath it all. She gets excited over people liking her and cheering her on. And I know it’s because it increases her chances of getting sponsors but still

Honestly Peeta trying to showcase Katniss and let her take the spotlight is so selfless and indicative of his ultimate plan to help her win but also ... I can see how Katniss would believe it’s too good to be true and he’s messing with her. That he’s just playing the game to earn her trust, get her guard down and manipulate her later.

See, Peeta is actually framed at the start like the typical, standard YA love interest turned villain. In majority of YA books, at this point the boy is kind and sweet and helpful to the girl until she trusts him completely and then he turns on her and uses everything she gave him to destroy her. But the difference is, Katniss refuses to truly trust him and she is guessing his game incorrectly at every step. And then it’s revealed that it was never a game and he truly isn’t messing with her and everything he’s done that’s seem too good to be true and not even remotely plausible has actually been genuine and heartfelt and that, my friends, is why Peeta is above all other YA love interests. Because Everlark is actually the foil to many of the cliches. That was a long speech over some incoherent thoughts I’m so sorry if you suffered through that.

“It's not until we enter the City Circle that I realize I must have completely stopped the circulation in Peeta's hand. That's how tightly I've been holding it.” Awww he is her rock 😭🤧🥺

"No, don't let go of me," he says. The firelight flickers off his blue eyes. "Please. I might fall out of this thing." Okay this part is so cute and so blatantly setting Peeta up as her main love interest omg 😅 this isn’t the least bit subtle or disguised. But first off, the fact that Katniss is also Peeta’s stability here too 😭😭😭 and second of all, she takes time to notice his blue eyes against the firelight? She was attracted to him from the very start, y’all. That’s indisputable. 👌🏻😎🤧

“It's not really fair to present us as a team and then lock us into the arena to kill each other.” I agree with you, baby, it’s not fair at all. But you two take care of that situation nicely. Or not. Y’all do start a dang war. 🤭🤭🙃🙃

It’s rather ... ironic that it’s District Twelve’s chariot of them all that is pulled up and stopped directly in front of President Snow’s mansion. I know it’s a book, certain details like this are definitively contrived, I know get over it. 🤦🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

So uh. Snow is a small thin man? Why do I suddenly imagine Danny Devito as Snow 😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣 y’all know he’d kill the role

“The darker it becomes, the more difficult it is to take your eyes off our flickering.” Okay, this is such a great line and it’s so significant to the rest of the series? The fact that Katniss — and Peeta, let’s not forget our boy — became symbols of the revolution. Like this line is deep if you think about it. The worse things in Panem got, the more the civilians looked towards Katniss and Peeta for hope 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰

Omg now after Songbirds and Snakes, we know the national anthem. I’m sorry, babies, that you have to endure that I’ll get you out of there 🙉🙉🙉

I feel like in part, the Capitol camera crew — Cressida, Pollux .... Pollux’s brother... is that you here???? — put so much attention on District Twelve because it would create some resentment and competition between them and the careers 🤭🤗

“I notice a lot of the other tributes are shooting us dirty looks, which confirms what I've suspected, we've literally outshone them all.” Insert Gretchen Wieners “I can’t help that I’m popular!” 😅😅😅😅😅

“I realize I'm still glued to Peeta and force my stiff fingers to open. We both massage our hands.” — they were hanging on so tight 😭😭😭😭

“Thanks for keeping hold of me.” He’s so sweet ☺️☺️☺️ I love him even if he’s kind of an idiot sometimes but so is Katniss so let’s not point fingers

“I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. [...] And then he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness” Omg I know Katniss views this as him trying to manipulate her but the fact that he’s actually just admitting the way he’s felt for years is so 😭😭😭😭 if only you’d spit it out sooner, Bready

“he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.” She literally has a crush on her fellow tribute and her first line of defense is to decide he out to get her for making her feel this way 🤣😭🙃

“The more likable he is, the more deadly he is.” The more my crush grows, the more deadly he becomes. I know I’m reading this with shipper goggles but guess what? I’m unashamed. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ who feels guilty for reading this book with an Everlark bias not this girl right here 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

“I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek. Right on his bruise.” Okay first off, she says cheek here but according to a chapter ago, she claimed the mark was on his jaw... so in other words, she’s incredibly short. If a medium height guy has a bruise on his jaw and she has to stand on her tip toe to reach it... well... hashtag LittleKatniss

And second off.... can you even imagine how Peeta must feel. He genuinely complimented her here, the girl he has had a crush on forever, and she responds by kissing his cheek. He was probably really happy at this moment. And also this probably played further into his buying into her false display in the arena. That here we have her clutching his hand, smiling and laughing with him and kissing his cheek. Idk what I was trying to say necessarily but I made myself sad wow way to go me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧

Anyways! Those are my very over the top and too detailed thoughts! Hope you enjoyed if you read this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳😎😎😎😎😎😎😎🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[flclarchives]

Amusing Himself to Death, an Akadot.com interview with Kazuya Tsurumaki (director of FLCL and assistant director of Evangelion) from around December 2001. In the article, Tsurumaki explains a few things about Evangelion, his mentality behind FLCL as a whole, and the meaning of the name ‘FLCL’.

Full article text is under the cut, or read the article in its original form [here].

Kazuya Tsurumaki was a relatively little-known animator when Hideki Anno selected him to work as the assistant director on Neon Genesis Evangelion. For the TV series, which became a smash hit in Japan and one of the touchstones of the current surge of interest in anime in the US, Tsuramaki served as the main storyboard artist as well as assistant director, and when Studio Gainax began production on a trio of Evangelion films Tsurumaki got his first directorial assignment.

As he tells the story, Anno came to him after Eva and announced that he was out of ideas and that it was up to Tsurumaki to dream up the next project because, "you are next." Tsurumaki let his imagination run wild, but by the time he had written a script, Anno - despite his declaration that he had no stories left to tell - was already several steps ahead of Tsurumaki and in pre-production for his next series, Kareshi Kanojo no Jijo, leaving Tsurumaki a chance to have complete and unsupervised creative control of his own series FLCL.

FLCL, referred to as "Fooly Cooly" (or "Furikuri" by its American fans), is unlike any anime series to come before it. Wild, maniacally fast-paced physical comedy; exaggerated, exuberant animation alternately pushing towards surrealist- as when mecha exuviate from a bump on young Naota's head - and deconstructionist - as when the animation literally stops and the story is told by a camera bouncing across a page of black and white manga art panels; and obsessively, often irrelevantly, referential to obscure Tokyo-pop bands and anime insider trivia; FLCL was hyperkinetic and disorienting, yet mesmerizing, almost transgressive, and undeniably original. It inspired enthusiastic admiration for Tsurumaki as a creator, even amongst the perhaps 90% of the series' fans who were absolutely baffled by much of it. One is tempted to refer to it as announcing the arrival of full blown post-modernism in animation, or perhaps as the Exploding Plastic Inevitable of the anime industry.

When Tsurumaki visited Baltimore to speak to American fans at the recent Otokon Convention, predictably, many of the questions were along the lines of, "Hi, I really loved FLCL [or Evangelion], but could you please explain this part of it to me?"

Tsurumaki answered all questions genially with a self-deprecating and often mischievous sense of humor. For example:

Why does Haruko hit Naota over the head with her guitar?

Kazuya Tsurumaki: Naota is trying to be a normal adult and she belts him to make him rethink his decision.

Why does Evangelion end violently, and somewhat unhappily?

KT: People are accustomed to sweet, contrived, happy endings. We wanted to broaden the genre, and show people an ugly, unhappy ending.

Why is the character of Shinji portrayed as he is?

KT: Shinji was modeled on director Hideki Anno. Shinji was summoned by his father to ride a robot, Anno was summoned by Gainax to direct an animation. Working on Nadia [Nadia: Secret of the Blue Water, one of Anno and Tsurumaki's earlier projects] he wondered if he still wanted to work like this. He thought that working on Eva could help him to change.

Is there any particular reason why so many Gainax series feature very anxious, unhappy young male protagonists with no parents?

KT: Yes, the directors at Gainax are all basically weak, insecure, bitter, young men. So are many anime fans. Many Japanese families, including my own, have workaholic fathers whose kids never get to see them. That may influence the shows I create.

Could you explain the mecha bursting from Naota's head in FLCL?

KT: I use a giant robot being created from the brain to represent FLCL coming from my brain. The robot ravages the town around him, and the more intensely I worked on FLCL the more I destroyed the peaceful atmosphere of Gainax.

Why doesn't FLCL follow one story?

KT: In the third episode Ninamori was almost a main character, a kid who, like Naota, has to act like an adult.  After episode three her problem was solved so we wrote her out.  She has many fans in Japan and we got plenty of letters about that decision.  For FLCL I wanted to portray the entire history of Gainax, and each episode has symbols of what happened behind the scenes on each of Gainax's shows.   Episode one has many elements of Karekano; episode two, a lot of Evangelion references, etc.

Where does the title FLCL come from?

KT: I got the idea from a CD in a music magazine with the title Fooly-Cooly.  I like the idea of titles that are shortened long English words. Pokémon for "Pocket-Monsters" for instance, and an old J-pop band called Brilliant Green that was known as "Brilly-Grilly."

Is there any reason why the extra scenes added to Eva for the video release were cut in the first place?  Did you think the story would mean something different with them intact?

KT: The scenes that were added to Eva for its video release aren't that important.  We added them as an apology for taking so long to get the video out.  Maybe they'll help people understand things, because the episodes were done under tough deadlines the first time around.

Can you explain the symbolism of the cross in Evangelion?

KT: There are a lot of giant robot shows in Japan, and we did want our story to have a religious theme to help distinguish us.   Because Christianity is an uncommon religion in Japan we thought it would be mysterious.  None of the staff who worked on Eva are Christians.  There is no actual Christian meaning to the show, we just thought the visual symbols of Christianity look cool.  If we had known the show would get distributed in the US and Europe we might have rethought that choice.

After the panel, Mr. Tsurumaki sat down to speak with Akadot.

Do you enjoy confusing people?

KT: I have a twisted sense of humor.  I'm an Omanu Jacku, a contrarian.  [Writer's note- Omanu Jacku is a folk character a bit like Puck, a mischief maker]

What do you see differently now that you're working as a director rather than only as a visual artist?

KT: As an animator I have only the art; as a director story is really big.  I still feel as an animator and I often have trouble putting the needs of the story first.

Did you intend from the start for FLCL to be as bizarre as it wound up?

KT: From the very start I wanted a different flavor.  To achieve this I had to re-train the animators to be as stylized as I wanted them to be because I wasn't drawing it.  I knew that not everyone would get it.  I deliberately selected very obscure J-pop culture and anime sub-culture jokes and references.  Because Eva was so somber I always intended to make FLCL outrageous and wacky.

Why the choice to break out of conventional animation and use manga pages? Was it at all a response to how many anime are using computers to achieve smoother and more realistic visuals?  Were you trying to go the opposite direction?

KT: I like manga, not only to read, but the visuals.  The pen drawings, the frame breakdowns and layouts . . . This is the first time I have used digital animation, and those bouncing manga shots wouldn't have been possible with cel animation.   Personally I'm not interested at all in using computers for realistic animation.  I'm impressed by it sometimes, but I'm interested in using computers to do what was once impossible, not to do smoother versions of what has already been done.  I want to be less realistic.

Has using digital animation techniques changed the way you work, or the way you feel about your work when you see it?  Does it still feel like it's yours if a computer did much of it?

KT: Before I got into digital animation I saw other shows that were using it and I felt that there was no feeling, it was empty.   As an animator, there's a sense of release when you draw a cel.  There's something there.  Working on FLCL, though, I learned that computers can do more, and, most of all, that they allow room for trial and error and revising, more freedom to experiment.  That is why I now feel that cel art cannot win against computers.  For actual animation everything is still drawn on paper.  That work hasn't changed.  It's the other stuff, the touchups, and coloring.  If we didn't use paper, maybe the feeling would change.

Earlier today you said that you were trying to broaden the genre by giving Eva a sad ending.  Does the sameness of much of today's anime bore you?

KT: First of all we didn't use a sad ending to annoy fans.  When they're upset, that really bothers us.  Personally, I think a happy ending is fine, but not if it is achieved too easily.  That's no good.

For all the fans that are confused at all, if you had to define in one sentence what FLCL is about, what would you say?

KT: FLCL is the story of boy meets girl.  For me it is also about how it's ok to feel stupid.  With Evangelion there was this feeling that you had better be smart to understand it, or even just to work on it. With FLCL I want to say that it's okay to feel stupid.

Even though it may be strange to us, do you have in your head a logic behind it?  Are you trying to portray a story that follows the logic of dreams, or is it supposed to make sense symbolically?

KT: I'd like you to think of FLCL as imagination being made physical and tangible, just as it is for me when I take whatever is in my head and draw it.

So what are you working on next?

KT: Right now Gainax has told me that they'll support anything I choose to create, but I'm having trouble coming up with any ideas.

Why is that?

KT: Releasing titles for market, I know I have to make something to please fans, but I'm not a mature enough person to accept that fact.  If I'm not amusing myself I can't do it.  I feel bad that fans have to put up with such behavior from me.  I apologize. 

[ramonaillustrationtwo]

Exercise: Once upon a time

For some time I researched different folk tails and fairy stories as I didn’t want to do a tale that was very common especially in English story telling. I came across the story of ‘The Boy Who Drew Cats’ ( 猫を描いた少年). 

The story

The Japanese tale was about a boy who does nothing but draw cats. Sent away by his farming family to a temple to learn from a priest  he continues to draw only cats. The priest tells the boy that he will not be a priest but on day may become a successful artist. The boy is asked to leave and given the advice ‘Avoid large places at night - Keep to the small’.

The boy decides he won't return home and seeks shelter in another large temple which unbeknownst to the boy was abandoned after an attack from a large rat goblin. Walking around the empty temple he decides to draw cats on the walls. Remembering the priest’s advice when night falls finds a cupboard to sleep in. Through the night he hears loud screeching.       

When he wakes and leaves the cupboard he sees the rat goblin dead on the floor and his cat illustrations mouths filled with blood. The people of the town rejoice that the rat goblin has been killed and the boy becomes a successful artist as the priest had told. 

Re-tellings in English

I accessed a scanned copy of  a translation of the story by Lafcadio Hearn circa 1898. I also read a more modern retelling by Aaron Shepherd from 1998. Both these versions helped me get a good understanding of the story.

https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/510d47d9-49f8-a3d9-e040-e00a18064a99/book#page/1/mode/2up

http://www.aaronshep.com/stories/045.html

My partner, who is a creative writing student, kindly rewrote the story for me so that it was clear and flowed well. 

Approaching the story

I felt the story could be broken down into key areas.

Setting

Farm

Temple

Large Temple

Cupboard (possibly?)

Characters

Boy

Family

Preist 

Rat Goblin

I really wanted my illustrations to flow with the text, like many modern children books, not simply the text on one page and the illustration on the other. I wanted to use Japanese stylised elements to tie the setting of the story to the illustration. I researched Japanese architecture, pattern design and drawing motifs which helped influence my illustrations. (All are referenced at the end of this post) I asked my friends to send me photos of their cats for drawing reference. 

Cat reference

Illustrations from ‘Treasury of Japanese Designs and Motifs’

Sketches and drawings

I really like rats, my first rat was too cute and I had to rethink the body shape to make him seem more scary. 

Completed Story

I wanted the text and illustration to work together and enhance the rhythm of the reader. 

I played with the text size to emphasis key points.

By exploiting the reading direction of left to right up to down, I staggered the text and illustration to cause the reader to explore the whole page. It also slows the reading speed and adds a pause between each point as the reader processes the illustration. 

Although not strictly an illustration I couldn’t help but include this page. I wanted to convey the protagonists emotion by having no illustration, lots of negative space and the text central.  

I chose not to depict the ‘fight’ to leave the reader to fill in the gaps in the story. It is a key part of the development of language and reasoning (blooms taxonomy)  for children to be able to use the visual clues and written text to deduce what has happened within the narrative. I wanted to use this as a discussion point between young readers and their adult support. This is a strategy used in many chickens books, This is not my hat, Jon Klassen being the most recent that I have read. 

I feel my illustrations interact with the text well, adding to the story but also having their own breathing space. Overall I think the exercise has been very successful and the protagonist is engaging and likeable.  

References

2020. Farmer Clothing. [image] Available at: <https://realjapanesegardens.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/for-wordpress-post-11.jpg> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

2020. Japanese Scribe. [image] Available at: <https://www.gettyimages.co.uk/detail/illustration/japanese-scribe-royalty-free-illustration/482658975?language=fr> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

2020. Shinto Priest. [image] Available at: <https://www2.kokugakuin.ac.jp/ijcc/wp/bts/bts_s.html> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

2020. Tall Temple. [image] Available at: <https://www.sovereignman.com/trends/after-1428-years-heres-what-brought-down-the-worlds-oldest-business-18654/> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

2020. Temple. [image] Available at: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Hall_(Japanese_Buddhism)#/media/File:Tōdai-ji_Kon-dō.jpg> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

2020. Traditional Clothing. [image] Available at: <https://www.agefotostock.com/age/en/Stock-Images/Rights-Managed/IBR-2353348> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

2020. Traditional Farm House. [image] Available at: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minka#/media/File:Shirakawago_Japanese_Old_Village_001.jpg> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

2020. Traditional Peasant Clothing. [image] Available at: <http://nariyuki-circus.com/kikaku/5323/> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

Duende by Madam ZoZo. 2020. Decoding The Meaning Of Wagara - Traditional Japanese Patterns. [online] Available at: <https://duendebymadamzozo.com/traditional-japanese-patterns/> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

General Research Division, The New York Public Library. "The boy who drew cats" New York Public Library Digital Collections. Accessed March 7, 2020. http://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/510d47d9-49f8-a3d9-e040-e00a18064a99

Grafton, C., 1983. Treasury Of Japanese Designs And Motifs For Artists And Craftsmen. New York: Dover.

Historyinphotos.blogspot.com. 2020. Vintage Japan. [online] Available at: <http://historyinphotos.blogspot.com/2014/01/vintage-japan.html> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

Japan-guide.com. 2020. Kyoto Travel: Tenryuji Temple. [online] Available at: <https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3913.html> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

Klassen, J., 2012. This Is Not My Hat. Somerville, Mass.: Candlewick Press.

Kiriko Made. 2020. 和柄 : Japanese Patterns - Part 1. [online] Available at: <https://kirikomade.com/blogs/our-fabrics/japanese-patterns-1> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

Manila Bulletin News. 2020. With Sake And Shinto Rites, Japanese See In New Era. [online] Available at: <https://news.mb.com.ph/2019/05/01/with-sake-and-shinto-rites-japanese-see-in-new-era/> [Accessed 6 April 2020].

[cputrbug]

Outlander Season 4 Finale

I'm going to start this off with what I liked about the episode...but there's a rant at the end because this episode, while not a complete disaster, really missed out on some stellar book moments. A trend this season that, sadly, I expect to continue.

What I Loved Mostly the first 30 minutes. The MoHawk village, Jamie willing to trade himself for Roger's release, but then Ian steps forward and takes his place. The goodbye scene made me cry. Sam and John Bell were fantastic. Someone needs to just deliver all the awards to Sam Heughan. He's been just killing it!

Ian running the gauntlet and instead of being a slave like "dogface", Ian becomes a warrior. I wish Jamie had given him the plaid - it becomes part of his costume, like the other MoHawk wear red coats. Maybe he will find it on his own next season...if he's shown next season.

The MoHawk got a glimpse of Red Jamie kicking ass!

Way back in Season 2 I said that the show would be stupid to get rid of Murtagh and that he should hook up with Ellen's sister, Jocasta, in Season 4. Called it!!

Now, what I didn't love...buckle up.

Claire Fraser has been hollowed out this season. She's there, but she's not all there. Where is the fierce, passionate, badass that we've known and loved all this time? They've dialed her character back to supporting status and Caitriona's practically been phoning it in. Conversely, Sam has been, not only picking up her slack, but carrying this show on his broad shoulders. He's been 110% in every scene he's in. I'm not a crier but Sam has made me cry 4 freaking times this season because he's pulled me into the character with him. He's been killing it since Season 1 and that he's never given the same accolades as Caitriona is infuriating.

It's been my opinion for awhile now that Rik Rankin was woefully miscast as Roger. He's not physically right for the part, but also he doesn't have the quality that gets the audience to root for him. That was reinforced in this episode. When the Chief said they wouldn't trade Roger, I was like "OK..hit the road J/C and you can be back in time for the birth!" I knew they wouldn't because there was a reason they needed to stay, but I personally didn't care if Roger was left behind. Bree could do better. Roger was raised by a minister in a very conservative home. Bree was raised by a female doctor and to think for herself. They shouldn't work....they do in the book, not in the show. Roger was always impulsive and old fashioned, but he wasn't an asshole. Every time I see Rik Rankin on screen, that's what I think - what an asshole.

Jamie loses Ian to the MoHawk and then Roger is standing there whining about how he doesn't know if he wants to go back to Bree? He's lucky Jamie didn't kill him on the spot. He should have at the very least got a punch in the face and some harsh words. But no, the show has twisted itself into a pretzel this season to make Roger into Jamie 2.0. Ain't gonna happen. Not now, not ever. That this show left Bree on her own to deliver the baby at River Run without her parents is unforgivable. It's the scene that pulls this family back together after months apart. Jamie is desperate to help his daughter, but scared to be involved at the same time. Claire is confident and reassuring to both Jamie and Bree. Bree clings to Jamie as her rock and it forges their bond even closer. And they all welcome Jem together. Jamie and Clare as the proud grandparents. Instead, we get Bree screaming surrounded by Jocasta and slaves, then suddenly she's in bed all cleaned up and doesn't know if she had a boy or girl? Did she teleport in the middle of labor? Jamie and Claire return and barely acknowledge the baby. Bree sees Roger isn’t with them and hardly acknowledges that they returned safe at least and that Ian isn’t with them. 

Roger and Bree’s run across the lawn to the swelling musical score was laughable. It worked in Season 3 for Jamie and Claire on the beach because we know them, we love them and we root for them always. Roger and Bree haven’t earned any of that to have this so-called great love story shoved in our faces. 

There’s a blood vow that Roger gives to Jem when he returns and claims him as his son. Bree challenges Roger on why he came back and that she refuses to marry for obligation now that she knows what a marriage for love looks like. Roger should have had to face that challenge. It was important to his marriage to Bree and his acceptance by Jamie. 

Outlander is the story of Jamie and Claire Fraser and their family. Season 4 has been focused on Bree for the most part, however, it should have never been at the expense of Jamie and Claire's story. The Fiery Cross is Season 5's book. It's thin on plot but it has the absolute best Jamie and Claire scenes in the series. If the show hollows out their story again in favor of elevating Roger's, I may be rethinking my STARZ subscription.

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

Am I the only one who's still unexpectedly reeling from Halt and Catch Fire 4x03 even though it's been several days?

I mean I'm usually in my feelings for an extended period with episodes of this show, but still. The premiere was this epic knockout (no real surprise there, especially for fans), so I wasn't expecting "Miscellaneous" to go as hard as it did in terms being real about who these characters are, and I also wasn't expecting it to pack in so much story. (Though I think that's good, the showrunners are at least trying to not waste our time.) So…I guess let's grab our cheese eggs and famous salads, strap on our ugly electric guitars, and see if we can recap some of  the wilder plot points in this hour. Literally nothing but 4x03 spoilers below.

We start with Cameron in the bath thinking about what she told Tom when she confessed to cheating on him with J*e, and about how she straight up said, "There's no loving J*e" because "he's empty and he just becomes whatever circumstance needs him to be." Because apparently the show wants us to know that this episode is not fucking around. We see Cameron wandering through J*e's apartment. Is she rethinking what she said about him, or is she thinking that he's possibly changed?

Gordon finds Cameron in a bathrobe at J*e's apartment, has his first hissyfit of the episode, and I have my first 'oh my g-d shut the FUCK UP, GORDON' moment of the hour (specifically when he says "Didn't waste any time, did ya?" Like maybe go work out your crush on Eyebrows elsewhere, Gordon?!)

Gordon's second meltdown, and his actually kind of incredible 'How's Cameron?' monologue: "It's like you're a train! And she's a train! And you think, 'Oh, we're both trains, we should get along great!' But then both the trains are on the same track and they're both headed right for each other and GUESS WHAT: both the trains are carrying DYNAMITE!" And, even better, J*e's response: "Yeah, yeah, we're bad for each other and it's going to be disastrous." And the look on his face when he says the word 'disastrous,' and suddenly he's not arguing with Gordon or being sarcastic, because he's realizing that it has never been anything but disastrous. Which is like: So the show knows then? What are they telling us?! WHAT IS HAPPENING

Cutesy domestic cheese egg scene to a song by Belly who feel SO Cameron but not the point -- what's happening here? Are we supposed to be charmed by J*e telling her that she's loud and messy and annoying but wants her to move in anyway? Or are we supposed to be put off? (I felt the latter, in case anyone was wondering!)

Trip the Guitar Hero being in Donna's office so he can let her know that he's tryna ride her coattails and that he's been taking lessons and can bend notes. In case anyone was curious, this scene is what being around white guys (AND girls, t b h) in mediocre Long Island pop punk bands is like at all times, Donna's reaction is 1) CORRECT 2) completely relatable and 3) priceless

…did they seriously pull Haley out of school for this 'meeting'/so J*e -- a 45 year old man, you'll recall -- can talk over her father and speak to her like she's an adult and then convince her to let him attach himself to her website like some kind of remora??!! What the HELL, GORDON?

'You can't give a 14 year old 20,000 dollars!' But you can put her to work with your 45 year old business partner who doesn't have any boundaries? CAN SOMEBODY CALL DONNA DOT TUMBLR DOT COM so that there's someone with some sense present

Just…this panel scene. If Cameron speaking truth to power about the future of gaming not being first person shooter games wasn't enough, of course Donna thinks it's a good idea to ask a question! It was like the 'I was surprised it wasn't you' scene all over again, in that I thought I was going to barf the entire time

Gracias a la virgen for Joanie "Please don't try." Clark, who sees through Hoe MacVillain. I too enjoy the idea of guys getting kicked in the nuts!

Gordon's 'you push people' monologue. Okay, so the show is being honest, and so is Gordon! So why are we even considering putting Haley through this?

The entire dinner scene at Donna's which made me want to weep, and actually made Joanie tear up! I'm really not feeling how Trip sent her the magazine (if they're setting up an unlikely romance between Trip and Donna, so help me dog…), but the way Donna's face fell when she saw how hard the review was on Cameron? I can't

"Joanie says it's 'cause I'm jealous." "Is she right?" Oh my GAH, why are wh*te people like this?! No you MOOK, it's because of what you said before about a 14 year old girl maybe not being ready to work on a real project with two grown men who can barely keep their ish together?!

"I wish my dad could've seen me be good at something." It's fine, I'm fine, I didn't want to sob over this line/reading or anything

"Hey Cam. It wouldn't be so bad if my girls turned out like you." I still don't like you though, Gordon.

"Oh, they shifted?" And this is why I still don't like you, Gordon. Donna didn't steal your idea, she was doing her goddamn job and pushing the Rover team -- who btw knew how to execute the idea and didn't have to resort to post its -- to think bigger while you were standing there watching J*e HORN IN ON YOUR 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER'S WORK

*Slow, deep breath* *long, controlled exhale*

I think that's everything? This episode was great, and I’m not just saying that. It could've been filler, or a directionless continuation of the premiere, but it wasn't. It set up a new conflict for the entire cast, and served us plenty of Donna's looks and attitude. It also took a good, hard look at one of the central and most problematic relationships in the show, but didn't hint at where it might go, or how it might improve. It was Halt at its steadily but quietly intensifying best, which is awesome even though it sometimes feels like it's shaving years off my life! (Again, thank Dog for Joanie, whose one-liners hydrate me, nourish me, and reverse any sun damage I might have.)

[inloveandwords]

Lately, I’ve been adding the books I want to read to my Amazon Wishlist instead of my Goodreads TBR. This is mostly because I can see right away if it is available on Audible Escape or Kindle Unlimited, which is nice.

Anytime I’m shopping for books, I just refer to that list more often than my Goodreads TBR (and my shelves there anyway).

I want to rethink how I use my Goodreads TBR, but for now, I’ll just focus on decluttering it.

It works like this

Go to your Goodreads to-read shelf.

Order on ascending date added.

Take the first 5 or 10 books (I’m doing 20 because I have way too many on my list)

Read the synopsis of the books

Decide: keep it or should it go?

  The Moon and More by Sarah Dessen

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Luke is the perfect boyfriend: handsome, kind, fun. He and Emaline have been together all through high school in Colby, the beach town where they both grew up. But now, in the summer before college, Emaline wonders if perfect is good enough.

Enter Theo, a super-ambitious outsider, a New Yorker assisting on a documentary film about a reclusive local artist. Theo’s sophisticated, exciting, and, best of all, he thinks Emaline is much too smart for Colby.

Emaline’s mostly-absentee father, too, thinks Emaline should have a bigger life, and he’s convinced that an Ivy League education is the only route to realizing her potential. Emaline is attracted to the bright future that Theo and her father promise. But she also clings to the deep roots of her loving mother, stepfather, and sisters. Can she ignore the pull of the happily familiar world of Colby?

Emaline wants the moon and more, but how can she balance where she comes from with where she’s going?

Sarah Dessen’s devoted fans will welcome this story of romance, yearning, and, finally, empowerment. It could only happen in the summer.

Date added to TBR: 12/29/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I’m planning to read all of Sarah Dessen’s backlist.

  Gardenia by Kelsey Sutton

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Seventeen-year-old Ivy Erickson has one month, twenty-seven days, four hours, fifty-nine minutes, and two seconds to live.

Ever since she was a child, Ivy has been able to see countdown clocks over everyone’s heads indicating how long before they will die. She can’t do anything about anyone else’s, nor can she do anything about her own, which will hit the zero hour before she even graduates high school.

A life cut short is tragic, but Ivy does her best to make the most of it. She struggles emotionally with her deep love for on-again, off-again boyfriend Myers Patripski. She struggles financially, working outside of school to help her mom and her sister. And she struggles to cope with the murder of her best friend, another life she couldn’t save. Vanessa Donovan was killed in the woods, and everyone in town believes Ivy had something to do with it.

Then more girls start disappearing. Ivy tries to put her own life in order as she pieces together the truth of who ended Vanessa’s. To save lives and for her own sanity.

The clock is always ticking. And Ivy’s only hope is to expose the truth before it runs out completely.

Date added to TBR: 12/30/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I actually can’t believe I haven’t read this one yet. I love Kelsey Sutton!

  Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls, and Everything in Between by Lauren Graham

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

In Talking as Fast as I Can, Lauren Graham hits pause for a moment and looks back on her life, sharing laugh-out-loud stories about growing up, starting out as an actress, and, years later, sitting in her trailer on the Parenthood set and asking herself, “Did you, um, make it?” She opens up about the challenges of being single in Hollywood (“Strangers were worried about me; that’s how long I was single!”), the time she was asked to audition her butt for a role, and her experience being a judge on Project Runway (“It’s like I had a fashion-induced blackout”).

In “What It Was Like, Part One,” Graham sits down for an epic Gilmore Girls marathon and reflects on being cast as the fast-talking Lorelai Gilmore. The essay “What It Was Like, Part Two” reveals how it felt to pick up the role again nine years later, and what doing so has meant to her.

Some more things you will learn about Lauren: She once tried to go vegan just to bond with Ellen DeGeneres, she’s aware that meeting guys at awards shows has its pitfalls (“If you’re meeting someone for the first time after three hours of hair, makeup, and styling, you’ve already set the bar too high”), and she’s a card-carrying REI shopper (“My bungee cords now earn points!”).

Including photos and excerpts from the diary Graham kept during the filming of the recent Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, this book is like a cozy night in, catching up with your best friend, laughing and swapping stories, and—of course—talking as fast as you can.

Date added to TBR: 12/31/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I love Gilmore Girls and Lauren Graham!

  The Throne of Glass Coloring Book (Throne of Glass) by Sarah J. Maas

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Enter the world of Throne of Glass

Experience the vivid imagery of Sarah J. Maas’s expansive world in her breathtaking New York Times bestselling Throne of Glass saga. Celaena on the rooftops of Rifthold, Chaol in the gardens of the glass castle, Manon riding her wyvern through the Crossing, and many other favorite moments, characters, and objects from the vibrantly detailed realm of Throne of Glass come to life. With stunning original black-and-white drawings, The Throne of Glass Coloring Book is a must-have companion for any reader looking to be swept up in the adventure of a lifetime.

Date added to TBR: 12/31/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I have the Court of Thorns and Roses version of this, I just need this one, now.

  Off Sides (Off #1) by Sawyer Bennett

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

“I’m not sure what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was the impossible expectations I faced, maybe it was my own self-loathing. But I just knew I needed something different to happen. I needed someone… something… to derail me from my current path. Otherwise, I would become lost… a hollowed out shell of a man. So I did it. I approached her, then I pursued her, then I made her mine. And my life was saved…”

Ryan Burnham is the privileged son of a U.S. Congressman and captain of his university’s hockey team. While he is on the verge of fulfilling his dreams to play in the NHL, his parents want him on a different course. One he is expected to accept for the sake of his family’s public image.

Forced her to abandon her music career after the heart breaking death of her parents, Danny Cross exists on the opposite side of the tracks from Ryan. She is struggling to make her own way, working two jobs, attending college part time and volunteering in a homeless shelter. She is on a mission to build her own success.

With a chance meeting, their vastly different worlds collide, causing each to evaluate whether they are truly on the correct path to self-fulfillment and happiness. Can their relationship survive? Particularly when others are against them every step of the way. A lot can happen in just ten short days…

Date added to TBR: 1/4/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I have this on audio and started it, but never finished. I think if the timing is right, I’ll enjoy it.

  Of Beast and Beauty by Stacey Jay

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

In the beginning was the darkness, and in the darkness was a girl, and in the girl was a secret…

In the domed city of Yuan, the blind Princess Isra, a Smooth Skin, is raised to be a human sacrifice whose death will ensure her city’s vitality. In the desert outside Yuan, Gem, a mutant beast, fights to save his people, the Monstrous, from starvation. Neither dreams that together, they could return balance to both their worlds.

Isra wants to help the city’s Banished people, second-class citizens despised for possessing Monstrous traits. But after she enlists the aid of her prisoner, Gem, who has been captured while trying to steal Yuan’s enchanted roses, she begins to care for him, and to question everything she has been brought up to believe.

As secrets are revealed and Isra’s sight, which vanished during her childhood, returned, Isra will have to choose between duty to her people and the beast she has come to love.

Date added to TBR: 1/11/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I love Beauty and the Beast retellings!

  A Shadow Bright and Burning (Kingdom on Fire #1) by Jessica Cluess

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

I am Henrietta Howel. The first female sorcerer. The prophesied one. Or am I?

Henrietta Howel can burst into flames. When she is brought to London to train with Her Majesty’s sorcerers, she meets her fellow sorcerer trainees, young men eager to test her powers and her heart. One will challenge her. One will fight for her. One will betray her. As Henrietta discovers the secrets hiding behind the glamour of sorcerer life, she begins to doubt that she’s the true prophesied one. With battle looming, how much will she risk to save the city–and the one she loves?

Date added to TBR: 1/11/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This one is on my bookshelf.

  The Lonely Ones by Kelsey Sutton

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

When your only friend is your own endless imagination, how do you escape your mind and connect to the world around you?

With parents too busy to pay her attention, an older brother and sister who would rather spend their time with friends, and peers who oscillate between picking on her and simply ignoring her, it’s no wonder that Fain spends most of her time in a world of her own making. During the day, Fain takes solace in crafting her own fantastical adventures in writing, but in the darkness of night, these adventures come to life as Fain lives and breathes alongside a legion of imaginary creatures. Whether floating through space or under the sea, climbing mountains or traipsing through forests, Fain becomes queen beyond – and in spite of – the walls of her bedroom.

In time, Fain begins to see possibilities and friendships emerge in her day-to-day reality. . . yet when she is let down by the one relationship she thought she could trust, Fain must decide: remain queen of the imaginary creatures, or risk the pain that comes with opening herself up to the fragile connections that exist only in the real world?

Told in breathless and visual verse, THE LONELY ONES takes readers through the intricate inner workings of a girl who struggles to navigate isolation and finds friendship where she least expects it.

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: Again, I love this author and want to read everything she writes.

  Radiance (Wraith Kings #1) by Grace Draven

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

THE PRINCE OF NO VALUE

Brishen Khaskem, prince of the Kai, has lived content as the nonessential spare heir to a throne secured many times over. A trade and political alliance between the human kingdom of Gaur and the Kai kingdom of Bast-Haradis requires that he marry a Gauri woman to seal the treaty. Always a dutiful son, Brishen agrees to the marriage and discovers his bride is as ugly as he expected and more beautiful than he could have imagined.

THE NOBLEWOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE

Ildiko, niece of the Gauri king, has always known her only worth to the royal family lay in a strategic marriage. Resigned to her fate, she is horrified to learn that her intended groom isn’t just a foreign aristocrat but the younger prince of a people neither familiar nor human. Bound to her new husband, Ildiko will leave behind all she’s known to embrace a man shrouded in darkness but with a soul forged by light.

Two people brought together by the trappings of duty and politics will discover they are destined for each other, even as the powers of a hostile kingdom scheme to tear them apart.

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This book has such high ratings, and I vaguely remember really wanting to read it!

  Passenger (Passenger #1) by Alexandra Bracken

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Passage, n. i. A brief section of music composed of a series of notes and flourishes. ii. A journey by water; a voyage. iii. The transition from one place to another, across space and time.

In one devastating night, violin prodigy Etta Spencer loses everything she knows and loves. Thrust into an unfamiliar world by a stranger with a dangerous agenda, Etta is certain of only one thing: she has traveled not just miles but years from home. And she’s inherited a legacy she knows nothing about from a family whose existence she’s never heard of. Until now.

Nicholas Carter is content with his life at sea, free from the Ironwoods—a powerful family in the colonies—and the servitude he’s known at their hands. But with the arrival of an unusual passenger on his ship comes the insistent pull of the past that he can’t escape and the family that won’t let him go so easily. Now the Ironwoods are searching for a stolen object of untold value, one they believe only Etta, Nicholas’ passenger, can find. In order to protect her, he must ensure she brings it back to them—whether she wants to or not.

Together, Etta and Nicholas embark on a perilous journey across centuries and continents, piecing together clues left behind by the traveler who will do anything to keep the object out of the Ironwoods’ grasp. But as they get closer to the truth of their search, and the deadly game the Ironwoods are playing, treacherous forces threaten to separate Etta not only from Nicholas but from her path home… forever.

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I am determined to read this.

  Friend Me (Mates, Dates #1-3) by Cathy Hopkins

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Lucy, Izzy, and Nesta are sassy, sparkling…and utterly smitten.

In Mates, Dates, and Inflatable Bras, Lucy is at a turning point. She doesn’t feel like she fits in with her friends Izzie and Nesta. Then Lucy sees the most wonderful boy, and things start to change — in all areas of her life.

Izzie is smitten with Mark in Mates, Dates, and Cosmic Kisses. When Izzie cancels plans just so she’s available if Mark should call, Lucy and Nesta know they need to intervene. But how can they help when Izzie is convinced that she and Mark are destined to be together?

Nesta meets a boy of her own in Mates, Dates, and Designer Divas. Simon is rich and his lifestyle is totally glamorous. So is his friend Cressida. But competing for Simon’s affections could cost Nesta more than she anticipated.

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf

  The One Memory of Flora Banks by Emily Barr

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HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO TO TRUST WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN TRUST YOURSELF?

I look at my hands. One of them says FLORA BE BRAVE. Flora has anterograde amnesia. She can’t remember anything day-to-day: the joke her friend made, the instructions her parents gave her, how old she is. Then she kisses someone she shouldn’t, and the next day she remembers it. It’s the first time she’s remembered anything since she was ten. But the boy is gone. She thinks he’s moved to the Arctic. Will following him be the key to unlocking her memory? Who can she trust?

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf

  The Book of Luke by Jenny O’Connell

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Emily Abbott has always been considered the Girl Most Likely to Be Nice — but lately being nice hasn’t done her any good. Her parents have decided to move the family from Chicago back to their hometown of Boston in the middle of Emily’s senior year. Only Emily’s first real boyfriend, Sean, is in Chicago, and so is her shot at class valedictorian and early admission to the Ivy League. What’s a nice girl to do? Then Sean dumps Emily on moving day and her father announces he’s staying behind in Chicago “to tie up loose ends,” and Emily decides that what a nice girl needs to do is to stop being nice.

She reconnects with her best friends in Boston, Josie and Lucy, only to discover that they too have been on the receiving end of some glaring Guy Don’ts. So when the girls have to come up with something to put in the senior class time capsule, they know exactly what to do. They’ll create a not-so-nice reference guide for future generations of guys — an instruction book that teaches them the right way to treat girls.

But when her friends draft Emily to test out their tips on Luke Preston — the hottest, most popular guy in school, who just broke up with Josie by email — Emily soon finds that Luke is the trickiest of test subjects . . . and that even a nice girl like Emily has a few things to learn about love.

Date added to TBR: 1/16/17 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Not super interested in this one anymore.

  The Girl of Fire and Thorns (Fire and Thorns #1) by Rae Carson

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Once a century, one person is chosen for greatness. Elisa is the chosen one.

But she is also the younger of two princesses, the one who has never done anything remarkable. She can’t see how she ever will.

Now, on her sixteenth birthday, she has become the secret wife of a handsome and worldly king—a king whose country is in turmoil. A king who needs the chosen one, not a failure of a princess.

And he’s not the only one who seeks her. Savage enemies seething with dark magic are hunting her. A daring, determined revolutionary thinks she could be his people’s savior. And he looks at her in a way that no man has ever looked at her before. Soon it is not just her life, but her very heart that is at stake.

Elisa could be everything to those who need her most. If the prophecy is fulfilled. If she finds the power deep within herself. If she doesn’t die young.

Most of the chosen do.

Date added to TBR: 1/16/17 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Eh.

  Spindle Fire (Spindle Fire #1) by Lexa Hillyer

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A kingdom burns. A princess sleeps. This is no fairy tale.

It all started with the burning of the spindles.

No.

It all started with a curse…

Half sisters Isabelle and Aurora are polar opposites: Isabelle is the king’s headstrong illegitimate daughter, whose sight was tithed by faeries; Aurora, beautiful and sheltered, was tithed her sense of touch and her voice on the same day. Despite their differences, the sisters have always been extremely close.

And then everything changes, with a single drop of Aurora’s blood—and a sleep so deep it cannot be broken.

As the faerie queen and her army of Vultures prepare to march, Isabelle must race to find a prince who can awaken her sister with the kiss of true love and seal their two kingdoms in an alliance against the queen.

Isabelle crosses land and sea; unearthly, thorny vines rise up the palace walls; and whispers of revolt travel in the ashes on the wind. The kingdom falls to ruin under layers of snow. Meanwhile, Aurora wakes up in a strange and enchanted world, where a mysterious hunter may be the secret to her escape…or the reason for her to stay.

Date added to TBR: 1/20/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This one is on my bookshelf.

  Rise (Rock Solid #1) by Karina Bliss

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Rise – The redemption story of a rock star going straight(er) through the love of a good(ish) woman.

Acclaimed literary biographer Elizabeth Winston writes about long-dead heroes. So bad-boy rock icon Zander Freedman couldn’t possibly tempt her to write his memoir. Except the man is a mass of fascinating contradictions–manipulative, honest, gifted, charismatic and morally ambiguous. In short, everything she seeks in a biography subject. When in her life will she get another chance to work with a living legend? But saying yes to one temptation soon leads to another. Suddenly she’s having heated fantasies about her subject, fantasies this blue-eyed devil is only too willing to stoke. She thought self-control was in her DNA; after all, she grew up a minister’s daughter. She thought wrong.

Rock star Zander Freedman has been an outlier–many would say an outcast–for most of his life. But there’s no disaster he can’t overcome, from the breakup of his band to the inevitable damage to his reputation. His Resurrection Tour is shaping up to be his greatest triumph–if his golden voice holds out. Contracting a respected biographer is simply about creating more buzz. Elizabeth’s integrity is the key to consolidating his legacy as one of rock’s greats. All the damn woman has to do is write down what he tells her. Not force him to think. Or encourage the good guy struggling to get out. And certainly not make him fall in love for the first time in his life. Turns out he is scared of something: being known.

Date added to TBR: 1/22/17 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Nah.

  Swear on This Life by Renee Carlino

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When a bestselling debut novel from mysterious author J.Colby becomes the literary event of the year, Emiline reads it reluctantly. As an adjunct writing instructor at UC San Diego with her own stalled literary career and a bumpy long-term relationship, Emiline isn’t thrilled to celebrate the accomplishments of a young and gifted writer.

Yet from the very first page, Emiline is entranced by the story of Emerson and Jackson, two childhood best friends who fall in love and dream of a better life beyond the long dirt road that winds through their impoverished town in rural Ohio.

That’s because the novel is patterned on Emiline’s own dark and desperate childhood, which means that “J. Colby” must be Jase: the best friend and first love she hasn’t seen in over a decade. Far from being flattered that he wrote the novel from her perspective, Emiline is furious that he co-opted her painful past and took some dramatic creative liberties with the ending.

The only way she can put her mind at ease is to find and confront “J. Colby,” but is she prepared to learn the truth behind the fiction?

Date added to TBR: 1/22/17 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Nah.

  Three Dark Crowns (Three Dark Crowns #1) by Kendare Blake

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When kingdom come, there will be one.

In every generation on the island of Fennbirn, a set of triplets is born—three queens, all equal heirs to the crown and each possessor of a coveted magic. Mirabella is a fierce elemental, able to spark hungry flames or vicious storms at the snap of her fingers. Katharine is a poisoner, one who can ingest the deadliest poisons without so much as a stomachache. Arsinoe, a naturalist, is said to have the ability to bloom the reddest rose and control the fiercest of lions.

But becoming the Queen Crowned isn’t solely a matter of royal birth. Each sister has to fight for it. And it’s not just a game of win or lose…it’s life or death. The night the sisters turn sixteen, the battle begins.

The last queen standing gets the crown.

Date added to TBR: 1/22/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf.

  Song of the Current (Song of the Current #1) by Sarah Tolcser

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Caroline Oresteia is destined for the river. For generations, her family has been called by the river god, who has guided their wherries on countless voyages throughout the Riverlands. At seventeen, Caro has spent years listening to the water, ready to meet her fate. But the river god hasn’t spoken her name yet—and if he hasn’t by now, there’s a chance he never will.

Caro decides to take her future into her own hands when her father is arrested for refusing to transport a mysterious crate. By agreeing to deliver it in exchange for his release, Caro finds herself caught in a web of politics and lies, with dangerous pirates after the cargo—an arrogant courier with a secret—and without the river god to help her. With so much at stake, Caro must choose between the life she always wanted and the one she never could have imagined for herself.

From debut author Sarah Tolcser comes an immersive and romantic fantasy set along the waterways of a magical world with a headstrong heroine determined to make her mark.

Date added to TBR: 1/22/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf.

  Decluttering my TBR #2 Lately, I've been adding the books I want to read to my Amazon Wishlist instead of my Goodreads TBR.

[richmeganews]

Letters: ‘Who Does Homework Work for?’

The Cult of Homework

American teenagers now average about twice as much time spent on homework each day as their predecessors did in the 1990s. Whether the practice is beneficial for learning, Joe Pinsker wrote in March, is highly contested. “As many children, not to mention their parents and teachers, are drained by their daily workload, some schools and districts are rethinking how homework should work—and some teachers are doing away with it entirely. They’re reviewing the research on homework,” Pinsker wrote, “and concluding that it’s time to revisit the subject.”

I am 12 years old. In my limited experience, the major issue with my homework is that I get out of school at 2:45 and I have to go to swim team at 4:15. I know that might seem like a huge gap but it is not really. I still have to pack for swim and have my chores to do, not to mention the fact that I get home at 8:15 every night. By the time I finish my homework it’s about 10 o’clock. I am already too tired to do my homework well and I am very tired for the next day. I think if we go to school for eight hours a day, we should not have to do any more school. I also agree that homework is totally unnecessary since it does nothing but stress me out—and I can still get good and possibly better grades without homework because I can go to bed earlier and will be more awake and alert come the next day, so I can learn more.

Sicily Annmarie Hegge Elizabeth City, N.C.

As a second-year high-school teacher, I found your recent article on homework to be compatible with much of my own thinking and training on this subject. I tend to assign homework two to three times a week, usually 10 to 30 minutes a night. This was emphasized in my credential program and first-year training.

I would estimate that most sophomores I teach have about 60 to 90 minutes of homework every night if you combine my class (world history), math, English, etc. I always think intentionally about the homework I give, focusing on the purpose and value of each assignment. Your article summarized these debates well; many veteran teachers are certainly stuck in their ways when it comes to homework and curriculum in general. Homework is like any other learning tool; it works only when it is intentional, relevant, and engaging.

While your article succinctly summarizes the educational debate and history surrounding homework, it fails to fully explore the important socioeconomic and cultural differences that can lead to disparities in homework completion and sense of value. While you wrote about how white, middle-class families are often the loudest voices in education, I would have liked to see more about other types of families. Many of my students have jobs, take care of siblings, and/or participate in after-school activities. While some of these young people are high-achieving students with lots of support, others struggle to complete any homework given the physical, emotional, and mental demands they balance at school, work, and home. Still other students lack the support and “push” they need, choosing video games and YouTube over homework every night. These types of situations need to be addressed if we are to have a productive conversation about homework.

I often speak of the metaphorical “kitchen table”: that quiet, nondistracting place at home where kids can do schoolwork and maybe even get help from an educated adult. However, it also encompasses more than a mere physical space; it is having food on the table every night, access to books and the internet, and the presence of stable, loving adults. I was lucky to have that kitchen table, and it contributed to my success in countless ways. Many of my students simply do not have this space. Of course, the presence of the kitchen table is undoubtedly tied to race, class, immigration status, homeownership, mental and physical health, communal support, and a variety of other factors. But its presence or absence can forever alter a young person’s life.

Maybe the question is not “Does homework work?” but rather “Who does homework work for?”

Sam Eaton Social Studies Department John Henry High School Richmond, Calif.

Homework in my school district is not graded. My mother finds that laughable—but I don’t laugh about how much homework I still do. I still study, because I’m scared of failure. It’s not enough to eliminate homework. Eliminating homework will do little to reassure the underlying anxiety of many students. Radical reform to testing, to how we admit kids to college, and to how we view failure and success is necessary. Eliminating homework—or similar policies, like not grading it—address the symptoms of a system that bases student worth on scores, not effort and character. Maybe it’s not a question of how much: It’s a question of what environment homework is in.

Alicia Liu Hillsborough, N.J.

What this article didn’t discuss is the advent of video games and cellphones in modern students’ lives. The “free time” made available to students by reducing homework isn’t spent in a halcyon daze of getting outside to play, commune with nature, or engage in relationship-building with family or peers. Instead children while away hours immersed in their phones or video games, learning nothing and actually harming themselves physically, socially, and emotionally. At least with academic pursuits like homework, the time spent could have some meaningful effect on their future. I feel so lucky that both my children were raised (at least throughout high school) sans cellphones and with the structure and expectations of homework.

Carrie Freeman Kennet Square, Pa.

I developed the math curriculum for grades seven to 12 in Essexville, Michigan, in 1965.

Our innovative approach never referred to homework. Instead students were enabled by the methods we used to educate themselves at the pace at which they wished to proceed. Courses were divided into approximately three-week batches. Students were able to “challenge” the final exam for each batch whenever they felt ready. There was no penalty for a failed challenge; the student just had to go over the material again, then challenge once more when they felt ready again.

Some students would complete the material in the three-week period, but it was more likely to take more or less than the (artificially!) planned time. One student completed the “year” in three months; another took 15 or 16.

If there was any homework done, it was the student assigning it to himself. Sometimes parents just felt they had to push, but the school stayed hands-off. Results were in so many ways phenomenal.

Chuck Josephson Tuscon, Ariz.

When my kids were in public high school (a science-oriented lycée in France), they had about two hours of homework a night, at most three. They were in bed by 10 p.m., well rested for very densely programmed days in school. We never had to goad them to study, in part because they were self-motivated, but also because they knew how much they had to do, so it was a routine. Both of them got into their first-choice universities in the United Kingdom and thrived.

I was struck by the contrast with friends of ours in the United States: Their child, in an elite private school in Brooklyn, had so much homework that she often worked until 1 a.m. and was constantly exhausted. The assignments sounded interesting, but they were scattershot, not predictable in length, and—most important—they didn’t seem to contribute to a clear goal beyond simply working. What distinguished the French lycée—and we were very pleased with the level of general education our children got—was that the national curriculum pointed everything toward the goal of passing the baccalauréat exams at the end of high school. That meant that they knew what they had to learn, and virtually all homework was designed to contribute to that preparation. Of course, there are downsides to this kind of strict focus. For example, our elder child helped found a student newspaper, which the administration regarded as a nuisance. It is also inflexible: If you don’t fit with the plan, you’re pretty much out of luck. Nonetheless, it serves many very well, achieves high standards of education, and maintains a sane workload.

Robert J. Crawford Talloires-Montmin, Rhone-Alps, France

After reading the article, I feel that just as researchers tend to fall into two camps, students also fall into two camps: Those who would excel irrespective of homework and those who would definitely benefit from homework. Hence homework needs to be balanced to offer enough learning freedom to the former group and to instill learning discipline in the latter group.

Sandeep Khabiya San Jose, Calif.

Let’s face it. Class time is always going to be insufficient given that kids are always going to be at various levels of knowledge, intelligence, motivation, and capacity to learn. A one-size-fits-all system will either waste the time and lose the interest of the kids at the top or leave behind kids at the bottom.

Take away homework, and you subject the kids to rude surprises. Yes, they can skip the stress on a daily basis. But they will be shocked when they find a grand canyon of disconnect between what they know and what the teacher expects when they take a test.

Yes, there are types of homework that are a complete waste of time. But take away homework completely and you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Vinit Karandikar Coppell, Texas

I am 52 years old. Forty years ago, in middle school, I began refusing to do homework. I did this partly as protest, partly as a consequence of the chaos of puberty and self-creation. What I couldn’t have known at the time was that those acts of defiance would become building blocks for the man I would become. My agency was born in reaction to a bad system. I draw strength even today from my actions then. As a high-school dropout, I am a self-employed writer and consultant in the computing industry.

I salute the parents who support their children as they stumble blindly to selfhood, refusing to comply for the sole sake of compliance.

James Marcus Bach Eastbound, Wash.

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[peacockrulz]

youre so right about narration!! i could go on all day really, its the biggest thing for me that takes a fic from good to great, especially with characters like j- characters with a persona of sorts, characters that lie to themselves or are in denial, or characters with a lot they need to sort through, and j is sort of all three in some capacity. i cannot wait for hostile takeover to update! if you ever decide to try writing a fic id love to give it a read! ive noticed you have a lot of interesting ideas about characters and their dynamics through your fanart, something i think could translate to writing well. you also clearly have an understanding of what makes a fic good- though i know from experience its often easier said than done. still, id love to see you try! this is actually my first time rp-ing canon characters, ever. right now im playing j (thanks hostile takeover) in a discord server, though i might try n soon because i reaaallly struggle with characterizing him. ive been roleplaying my whole life really! i started with roblox warrior cats though... im shuddering with you id kill for more dollxn art from you though. no pressure but you get them it seems. its been a while since i listened to final girl but its definitely their song suggestive lyrics or not i hope they die and go to robo-hell together <3 - juzi anon

*sigh* putting this under a readmore because HOO BOY did I maybe went full analyzer on this one. thanks for your time Juzi Anon <3

I've read alotta fics in my time on the internet and honestly? I don't think I've ever read a fic that hooked me on a character narration quite like Hostile Takeover's J. J's awareness of every part of what shes doing and how shes doing it makes it even more subtle when you realize that despite all of that, she has so little awareness over what she thinks. Like she doesn't question it. Uzi's narration makes a point to show how she censors her own thoughts, she doesn't allow her mind to wander to certain parts of the past, shes completely aware of how some thoughts sound and decides against saying it all together. Meanwhile, J will go on and on about how much better the job would be without V's constant talking back and N's inability to do anything right, and in the same paragraph be constantly thinking about the argument with V, and what got V so messed up to begin with. J is like a rock, a precipice of confidence. But the moments where she doesn't know what to do, (like when she thought she was going to die in that church tower from the rising sun) its almost like she has to put on appearances even in a moment where shes completely panic-ed, that she still somehow has to pretend she knows what shes doing, even with no one around. Its why the fic made me rethink J in general, I've loved J for while but Hostile Takeover was the first time I actually was able to SEE what J could be as a character story. It really puts into perspective how important narration can be in telling a damn good story. (Sorry this became a J paragraph. I could analyze fics for the rest of my life and be happy lol)

Haha maybe one day I'll finally sit down and write. I'm not really the greatest at translating my thoughts to text, for some reason its easier for me to illustrate my feelings about a character then to write it out. The only reason I can draw fanart like that is because I analyze these characters to death lol. Looking at all the angles of two characters and then asking the question of 'what would it take for them to be on friendly terms' is a pass time I indulge it frequently!!!! Thats why I like rarepairs, sometimes they're dynamics are alot more unique than most, even if they're 2 characters that have never once canonically interacted (which is my favorite. Alot more creative thinking with that one yknow?) Still, maybe I'll get to it :O (prolly would practice writing analysis post first. because I always have to stop myself from doing it on other posts XP)

I've also grew up on roleplaying (my brother is into roleplaying and that got me started on it lol) used to roleplay on roblox even before I could read (which. isn't a joke actually. who gives a 5 year old unrestricted internet access???) funnily enough I can't even say I ever completely grew out of it, I still visit alot of roleplay maps on roblox (including WCUE!! never actually roleplayed there but I think its fun to spec) but mainly I used to roleplay on animal-based mmos like FeralHeart in my younger days.

Iffff,,, I could say anything about N's character,,, to hopefully help inspire some ability to write him (and sorry this gets its own paragraph) I would probably say that he is a very self-destructively selfless person, whos never gotten over anything or anyone in his life (I.e when V was in stasis during their time in the manor, N constantly visited her and would draw pictures of the two of them together ((as lizards)) and is kinda implied to have been reading books to her during this time. Even after getting 'digitally lobotomized', while N couldn't exactly remember V as he knew her back then, he still carried that affection he had for her all that time ago. He never stopped caring about V, even when he forgot) while I wouldn't describe N as in anyway 'innocent' or 'naive', N still has a habit of unconditionally caring about pretty much anybody lol. He had like, what, a 27 minute conversation with Uzi? And while it wasn't enough to completely convince him, it still was something that made him hesitate ("I really enjoyed our time together,"). And while I'm here (having mentioned Uzi) I would also say N is a very lonely character, seeing as he was often belittled by his peers (J) or in some cases completely ignored (V, but she had her reasons and thats a different discussion) a funny part of N's character is just how much he IS like Uzi. A person completely isolated by his kind because of how he is, who was never given an explanation as to why, why everyone is so oddly cruel to him. The biggest difference though being that N never fought it, he completely accepted getting knocked around if it meant he could stick around. It took someone else to point out how fucked his situation was to make him think twice about it. Uzi is the type of character to go down kicking screaming and punching(asterisk but thats also a different discussion), and N, despite being in such a similar place to her, isn't that kind of guy. While I wouldn't say N is the type to take everything lying down, there is something to say about just how much he is willing to take before getting angry, yknow? Overall, I think N is a very loving, loyal-to-a-fault, kinda guy, but his compassion for those around him is often times the reason he gets so tunnel-visioned in the first place (i.e causing explosions and throwing rocks and debris everywhere in a mass, angry panic, trying to go save V.) and its why he is so willing to get himself hurt in the first place. ("I really enjoyed our time together, but I can't have you shooting V with that thing.") (Or yknow, cutting his arm off, but thats alot less selfless-ness and alot more self destruction) His patience and understanding is one of his biggest strengths and somehow always the reason he gets hurt. Basically I think he need to go a lil insane as a treat.

((Oh its also good to note that his unconditional love for everyone around him is also the only reason why he has lived this far to begin with (the characters this includes: V, Uzi, AND Cyn.)))

I also think the above, is the reason why I enjoy NxDoll so much. it takes SO MUCH for him to hate someone and yet Doll did the one thing that would make him do it (hurting someone he cares about the most). I just knoooowwww if they saw eachother in that church it would've been ON. That fight would've taken out the whole god damn BUILDING. it would be two people fighting for the exact same fkcing reason!!! REVENGE!!! the horrible chain of trauma contuines with them!!! killing one will only leave the other with what remains!!!! And yet I also see them as two people who would really benefit from being on friendlier terms. Both becasue N's softness is just not something we ever see Doll treated with, and because Doll's avocation for justice might just be the thing N needs to get a god damn backbone for once and earn himself some self-appreciation.

But I also think its more fun when its enemies AND lovers.

They should make eachother worse <3