#and also if i get possessed and spend a solid five minutes not blinking again

[networkunsupported]

i feel like tumblr is trying to tell you something /hj

HEAD IN MY HANDS CHAT IM NOT. CHAT. HEY. COME ON NOW.

[bibbykins]

Heliophilic Rain and His Pluviophile (M)

Yikes, it’s been a hot minute. That’s my bad. I have been having it a little rough with my job and so I’m in the process of finding another one and that among a billion other things is slowing me down. Which makes me wonder if I were to open commissions if anyone would be interested? I also would like to add there is a scene that could be triggering so proceed with caution, please. Either way, thank you for your patience as always, and I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: (Soft) Yandere! Yoongi x Reader Genre: Smut/Fluff

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: possessiveness, yandere tendencies, anxiety, unspoken threat of sexual assault, slight violence, oral, penetrative sex, cock warming, toxic relationship (he's yandere ya kno)

Summary: He was the rain just as you were the sun, both too transfixed with watching each other to get any closer. Few things feel more refreshing than drops of fresh rain on heated skin or the warmth of the sun on a gloomy day. It would be a shame to not indulge in the natural wonders of the world before you.

“Her voice was like the wind. I could listen until it was all that filled me. I could listen until she swept me away into the vast ocean of her presence. I would drown if it meant I would drift back to her. Her voice was like the wind. No matter how much I tried to catch it, I would get carried away. Suddenly, I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. Suddenly, home was wherever she said it was, so long as she did so with that voice of hers.”

“His voice was like the tap of rain against a window. He was asking me to go out to see him, but there was something beautiful about the way I knew he wasn’t referring to me specifically. I was a mere onlooker to his presence. Even so, I would catch a cold if it meant I could reach him, even for a moment. I thought this, knowing I would never have the guts to go outside. I made peace with this until the taps on my window turned into knocks on my door.”

——-

The office had an industrial-chic style about it, filled with neutral tones and the clanging of chains for no other purpose except fashion donned upon its employees. The color palette was gloomy and soothing, just how Yoongi liked it, an aesthetic that his employees gleefully shared with him as well. Each morning, Yoongi would look out his office and admire his growing business, eyes never lingering on one place too long, he loved all of the office equally. This much rang true until he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your form.

“She’s like a breath of fresh air, isn’t she?” Hoseok placed his hand on Yoongi’s soldier as he watched you through the glass doors of the conference room you were currently introducing yourself in, “Don’t be too hard on her, she’s competent and hardworking, okay?” 

Yoongi could barely hear his friend as he lost himself in the way your eyes crinkled from a genuine smile adorning your face. You were his new host to one of the podcasts his company picked up. From the merger with Hoseok’s company full of his college friends, Yoongi went from popular podcast host and semi-popular producer to a CEO of Min Productions, famous music artists in production and performance,  who oversaw the production of music and several podcasts on several topics, and you were what he had initially dreaded.

From the merger, came money, but what also came with it was Namjoon, the PR head of the company Hoseok was a part of, being able to choose one of every five talents for Yoongi to build up, hopefully into fame. Yoongi had just reached his fifth host, the podcasts he chose mostly consisting of music commentary or general life talks from people with aesthetics aligned with his own. However, from the sea of neutral colors and low voices partaking in casual conversation came you.

You were a perky college senior with some light in your eyes still. You were a rare find and had no set style ranging anywhere from pastels to the grunge he was used to seeing, but what never changed was your smile. Your teeth made an appearance at least 10 times a day, judging by the third smile you had just flashed the crew in a two-minute time frame.

Your podcast, however, oddly betrayed your attitude. You ran a sex and lifestyle podcast where you asked questions most people were too shy to throw out into the world pertaining to the unspoken social rules of casual dating and sex. It was interesting, yes, but it didn’t align with the brand Yoongi had been building judging by the synopsis. 

The fuss he made to Namjoon ended as soon as he sat down and listened to a podcast of yours. 

—–

“I have a formal complaint I would like to file!” You proclaimed as Yoongi found himself listening to your most recent podcast, “Why the fuck can’t I get a sugar daddy my age? It’s almost like… like my age demographic consists mostly of broke-ass college kids living with their parents, in a dorm, or like ya girl, an overpriced apartment and not rich as fuck for no reason. Fucking whack, I’ll say it.” He unwittingly cracked a smile at your charm and sarcasm, “I spent one day on sugarbaby.com and had to watch vanilla straight porn at the number of wrinkly dicks I saw instead of profile pictures. That’s like the most boring porn. So here comes a Patreon plug for the brainwashing I will conduct on myself in case I saw anyone’s grandfather’s penis.” You had an unabashed charm about you that urged him to listen more, maybe just one more episode.

Yoongi found himself listening to your entire discography, even the less promoted music you released once every blue moon, which wasn’t half-bad. However, he couldn’t find a picture of you, most likely because you posted under the alias Sugar Sun. The only pictures of yourself being from behind.

“On this episode of men are trash: men are fucking trash. Hello all, Sugar Sun here, and let’s talk about my day,” Yoongi could feel his intrigue grow, as you kept releasing, your delivery became less forced and more natural, “I don’t talk much in class, believe it or not. I’m a stuttering mess and like two people know my name at my big ass university, so when I do talk and my shit hole of a lab partner yells at me in the middle of a presentation to speak up, I cry, in front of the class. But do I stop the presentation? No, I’m fucking frozen with fear, so I just continue with my tears and the presentation. Bitch, what the fuck I looked like a middle school drama kid doing a monologue in front of her math class for no fucking reason.” You took a deep breath, “In conclusion, I’m sensitive and men are trash. Now, to the podcast.”

You had gained more traction with your commentary on romantic life and general comedy, catching Namjoon’s attention, “Hello again, double S here, with a special announcement. I got like, an actual company to sign me! Wild, I know! I’ll get paid and have meet-ups and stuff, which means you lovely listeners will get to soak in my face and talk to me in person and really experience why the only orgasms I’ve had are self-made!”

—–

“Yoongi!” Hoseok tapped his shoulder, snapping him out of his trance you put him in.

“Sorry, she’s just-”

“Be nice,” Hoseok warned.

“Like sunshine.” Yoongi could feel the air enter his lungs as you sat down with a smile, “Like, what the fuck, Hobi?” 

His friend blinked, “Woah, shit, what?” He stifled a laugh, “You know, there isn’t a no-dating policy, right?”

“I’m well aware.” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “But there will be if anyone tries anything.” He spoke nonchalantly and Hoseok choked on air at his friend’s obliviousness while the glass doors of the conference rooms were opened, you pouring out from it, waltzing to Yoongi and Hoseok.

“Hello, Mr. Min and Ho-Mr. Jung, I’m Y/n, or Sugar Sun, thank you for this amazing opportunity.” You bowed as Hoseok shook off his bewilderment for just a moment to give you a small bow with Yoongi.

“I look forward to spending more time with you.” Yoongi spoke in his regular gruff voice, the same one that proclaimed to have your hand in marriage just moments before, “I find you’ll be a breath of fresh air to the company.”

“I also look forward to seeing how your podcasts go, you have a photoshoot in a couple weeks, right?” Hoseok smiled warmly at you as you beamed back to him. Yoongi swore the whole exchange was blinding.

“I do! I’m a little nervous, since it’ll be my big face reveal, and I don’t know how well I model.” You giggled and Yoongi found his new favorite song the moment you did.

Yoongi had a tendency to do this, whether or not he wanted to. He was a passionate man. He craved love and could see it coming from a mile away. Despite being one of the seven main heartthrobs of his college campus, he almost exclusively stuck to serious relationships, and he meant it when he said serious. Yoongi was a little, to put it lightly, obsessive. He was a jealous boyfriend, but he did his best to try not to be too overbearing. He was also excessively protective, and the women he dated were grungy free spirits who enjoyed the chase when all Yoongi wanted was to catch them then hold them for the rest of his life. Despite being blinded by his own passion, he could still see when it wasn’t going to last, having accepted to never find a girl to accommodate and sedate him when needed. However, when you looked his way, or he heard your voice, it was something more than a need being filled.

You felt your heart leap out of his chest, trying not to fall into Yoongi’s hands when you first saw him, and here he was, nonchalantly giving you an inkling of a smile. Maybe it was the lack of a solid fuck or a relationship, but you were definitely breaking some HR rules in your mind.

Suddenly, you became aware of the content you dished out. You talked about your sex life often, and he knows you’re inexperienced and terribly horny. You internally punched yourself in the face. He probably thinks you’re so weird. Yet, here you were, a huge fan of Agust D and now Min Yoongi was staring at you.

Yoongi smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ve had my experience with a face reveal or two.”

You returned his smile, remembering the day Agust D revealed his face. The whole world stopped, and you only fell deeper when you looked at his eyes, “I-I remember, I’m a fan.” You looked down shyly before facing him again.

“Funny, I am a fan of yours.” He spoke lowly as Hoseok had long walked away unnoticed.

You giggled stupidly, “A fan?” Your sunny smile beamed at him. He had always preferred rainy days, but if this was what the sun looked like, he could get used to being a little warm here and there, “I can hardly believe it.”

“I’m gone a lot and yet, your voice has a certain factor to it that draws people in. ” He mused as his eyes trapped you, “I wonder where you’ve been all my life.”

Just like that, the bubble popped. The chimes came to a screeching halt. The rose-tinted glasses were abruptly ripped off of your face. The magic cleared, and you were left with the realization that while you had damn near counted every interaction, no matter how minuscule, and he hadn’t cared to remember you until now.

“Here’s my personal cell,” He hands you a pristine card with silver numbers, “Call me if you need anything, and I mean it.” You take the card with a quaint smile that deflates

He’s never noticed you until now, of course. The answer to his thoughts was that you’ve been right here.

Before Yoongi could register the chill in the air without your smile, Hoseok came back, “Hey Yoongs, let’s go, we got a flight in a few hours.“ 

“Right.” Yoongi breaks eye contact with you.

“Have a good flight!” You smile, not as wide as before, and Yoongi sees it.

“See you Tuesday, y/n!” Hoseok waves.

“Don’t be late!” You giggle and as soon as they both are out of earshot, Yoongi grills him.

“You know her?!” Yoongi snaps as he enters the town car.

Hoseok blinks at him, confused, “Duh? I thought that was a given.” Upon seeing his friend’s puzzled face remain, Hoseok’s eyes went wide, “Holy shit, you don’t remember her?!”

The older male blinked in confusion, “I’ve never met her before?”

The younger businessman threw his head back as he placed his hands over his face in frustration, “She was in our forensics class and our history class last year’s fall semester and the year before!” He was exasperated, “Remember the super genius sophomore?”

Yoongi racked his brain. Last year? He had been dating some angsty theology major. How could he have let himself be blinded by a temporary fling when the love of his life was right there? He could kick himself at this moment. No wonder your smile faltered, you had remembered him, “Liar, you can’t be serious.”

“Dude, she tutors me to this day in history.” Hoseok deadpanned, “All she requires is I buy her meals that day.”

“How often do you guys have study dates?” Yoongi grits out as his friend snorts at the notion of it being a date.

“Your possessive is showing,” He snickered, “My girl is all I can see these days, no matter how cute y/n is.”

“I will end you if you touch her,” Yoongi doesn’t hesitate, “Especially with the way you treat girls,” His face scrunches in disgust before he grumbled, “But how often?”

“Every other Tuesday.” Hoseok smirked, “And you mean used to treat girls.” 

Yoongi huffed in agreeance.

—-

“Hello, party people.” Your voice entered Yoongi’s headphones as he leaned back on his hotel bed, “Sugar Sun here, in my bedroom. We’re calm, we’re casual, it is a Friday night and this one goes out to my fellow homebodies.” You switched off to play a song. Part of the contract you signed was that you are allowed to go live whenever you liked to encourage and tend to fans. You explained it was almost a tradition for you to set aside a Friday night in once a month for your fans and Yoongi found in comforting as he lay alone. 

Your taste in music was so unbelievably cute, he couldn’t help but smile at the lo-fi song, “And we’re back, hello all here and all who are joining as I speak. Today I took a tour of the studio my actual podcasts will be recorded in and holy shit, they seem to actually take me seriously as a personality and even artist, so expect some tunes soon.” Yoongi smiled at this, you don’t even know your potential, “I’m looking at the chat now to see if there are any questions, and- oh, yes, I did meet my boss. Yes, the iconic Min Yoongi. He is as dreamy as they say, but I have actually met him before.” Yoongi sunk a little further in shame, “Did he remember me?” You read from the chat, “No, of course not. I’m a voice, but no one will know me if I don’t use it.” You sighed out and he felt his heart clench. He was such a fucking idiot. “Which I don’t much beyond this mic. Am I scared to say this now that he’s my boss?” He held his breath a bit, “No, I doubt he’s listening. He said he was my fan, but he could just have said that to be a nice guy.” You laughed, a hint of sadness evident, “What a fucking disaster I must seem like if he were to, huh?” The sadness in your voice more prominent, “If he is, hi Mr. Min, please erase this from your memory, as well as my sophomore haircut.” 

The live went on as normal and Yoongi drifted to sleep to the melodious sound of your voice for the remainder of the flight. However, even in his dreams, you were just out of reach, and he couldn’t begin to put into words how much it killed him.

—-

You don’t know how you got here. You looked around at the shabby setup. This "photography studio” looked a lot, and you mean a lot, like it was a half-assed school set not long ago. You scoffed, throwing your hands up incredulously when you caught sight of a black couch. You really hated your manager.

The jackass was assigned to you and you were too scared to say how uncomfortable he made you. He treated you like a child, but the way he looked at you was too adult for your taste. He was constantly texting you and asking for photos of your face, which you were constantly rejecting. To top it all off, he wants you to call him Big Brother, not Oppa, Big Brother. You opted for Big Bro instead, since he won’t give you his name. No, to top it all off, he booked your photo shoot with a “friend” of his to “save the company money”. He asked you to show up in a dress no longer than your knees and you felt dumber and dumber as time went on for doing so. 

You stood in the middle of this studio-warehouse apartment waiting for this great photographer to show up. As you stood here, your initial thought was “how fucking ridiculous is that” but the longer you were there and the more you studied the ropes that were no longer as well hid, something in your stomach began to turn.

You were in actual fucking danger. This situation could not be a funny story if you didn’t live to tell it. Your eyes darted from different red flags in the room. A spot of dried blood scratches on the cheap wallpaper, bare plaster marks against the beige wall, a poorly-concealed camera you hadn’t noticed until now. Your chest squeezed when your phone vibrated. 

You could get out of here! All you had to do was send an SOS.

Hoseok: Good luck in the photoshoot from my other half and I! 

You smiled lovingly at the snapchat from the male, the more permanent girl in his life with a smile on her face and an encouraging thumbs-up. They were evidently on a date, finally, so there was no way you could call them to come get you. You would hate to bother them.

Mr. Min: Let me know how the shoot goes. 

You faltered over the message. He was professional as ever. Would he think less of you if you abandoned a shoot like this?

Yoongi agonized over the three dots that stared him down. He had to remind himself to blink as he watched the minutes tick by that felt like hours. What the hell were you typing?

It had been about a couple of weeks since you’ve been under Yoongi’s company and all had been normal. Your routine was the same, and so was his. Except for this time, you two would exchange polite texts on what the other would do.

Sugar Sun: Great song as always!

You would always send exclamation points or some sparkle emojis, even a sun here and there. Yoongi found himself unable to shield his cheesy grin at the texts you sent him. You were always the first person to praise his new work. He found himself craving your praise more and more, but he forced himself to remain professional.

Mr. Min: Loved your live.

He always used punctuation despite using fragments which somehow added an aura of professionalism that he effortlessly radiated in person. Nevertheless, you would always send back a sparkly thank you which made Yoongi melt. He prided himself on not overstepping boundaries by attempting to control your professional life. His self-restraint proved quite strong as he held himself back from taking you out to lunch or giving you special treatment. This restraint was put to the ultimate test when he found out you were assigned Hyungin as your manager. He was an unfortunate employee with constant reports that would ultimately be rescinded by the female employees.

He was a disgusting piece of shit, Yoongi deduced. Hyungin was the brother of the management agency contracted by his company, per Namjoon’s damn insistence,  and he was itching for that contract to end, and soon. Yoongi had to physically hold himself back when he found this information out, trying to respect you by not meddling or keeping tabs on you.

His resolve was a very thin string that was tugged and tugged as the days went on with Hyungin having total control over your schedule and an excuse to contact you 24/7. You were a strong girl and had not made a report. He had to respect that. 

Your lip began to twitch, a movement you quickly halted as you shook the fear off. Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were being stuck up. You weren’t like Yoongi, maybe you had to photoshoot in shabby places.

You: I’m kind of scared…

You shook your head, erasing the message and locking your phone. You huffed, it was 30 minutes past the scheduled time. Surely you had the right to leave? You heard the back door open and could feel the bile lurch in your throat.

Something was very wrong. You were not overreacting. There were several heavy footsteps and as they thudded through the warehouse, nearing your reaching form, you could not deny the quaking fear that traveled through your veins like electricity.

One? Two? No, four sets of steps. The uneven rhythm proved as much, too many for a measly photoshoot. Too many for you to take on all at once. The correct amount to hold you down. The correct amount to-

“Little sis, are you here?” A sickening voice called out and you realized the steps stopped with only his continuing. 

He was trying to surprise you. 

“Come on, dear, let’s get to know each other.” You could hear the predatory smirk on his face and you choked on a horrified breath as the fear pricked your skin and pierced your lungs.

You were choking on your own horror.

“Come out, come out,” He called and you were frozen, absolutely fucking frozen. 

Run.

You stood up, breaking into a sprint that was a hair too slow. You felt a calloused, obscenely rough handgrip your forearm with a vigorous force and you screamed. He was squeezing, and at this rate, your bones would surely snap, “Not so fast, little girl.” He stood next to you, breath pungent with halitosis. From peripheral vision, you could see his five o'clock shadow and you realized the size difference and the lack of camera. You couldn’t stop screaming, mimicking every cell in your body that seemed to yell,

RUN.

Just like lightning, you struck him with your head, harder than you knew you could stand. His nose gave you an all too satisfying crack and his grip loosened enough for you sprint again, this time more than quick enough to keep going. You heard the clamoring of footsteps and eventually, all you could hear was the sound of the wind as you turned corners you had no familiarity with, running until your legs could no longer carry you. 

Your legs finally shook you down to your knees in a part of town you barely recognized. You had passed through here once before as a freshman in college sight-seeing. It was a tourist spot and you exhaled on the sidewall as people stepped around you.

You heaved a breath that you swore you had been holding for hours with a small victorious smile. Your eyes scanned the area of regular people and your hands shaking brought attention to the purse you thankfully still had.

Without thought, you ripped it open, using your phone to call the first person you could.

“Y/n?” His voice was gruff, as if he was whispering whilst trying to talk normally, “Is everything okay?” He seemed confused, you had never called him before.

“Can you… uh…” You faltered after realizing the strangled sound you made, voice raw from the screams you let out, “…please come get me.” You nearly whispered.

“Send me your location, I’m on my way.” Yoongi didn’t miss a beat before adding, “Stay where you are, don’t go near anyone.” He ended the phone call and you followed his directions, dropping your pin. You sighed in relief as you took refuge on the sidewalk, draping the cardigan in your bag over your shoulder, securing it around yourself.

Yoongi shot up from his office chair, looking at his employees mid-powerpoint. His marketing team turned into ice at his gaze. His eyes were much darker than a moment ago, and his jaw was like stone, “I have an emergency to attend to, we will proceed at a later date.” The room nodded stiffly as their boss walked out, all of them unaware why, having been too scared to even try to listen to his phone call.

Never in Yoongi’s life had he sped so recklessly. You were 10 minutes away and something was wrong. Your voice had never sounded so vulnerable. He had never heard it that quiet before. You were in a plaza of popular building, and if you had a photo shoot today, this would not be near any studio at all. His blood boiled at the thought of anyone taking away your light.

He slammed on the brakes when he caught sight of your shrunken form on the sidewalk, your head jerked up at the sound as your entire body jumped. Why were you so scared? Your face had a small streak of makeup on the side of your face and his skin only flared as you scurried into the car and Yoongi began driving to a more familiar side of town.

“Please don’t take me home.” You pleaded, unable to face him due to the shame.

Yoongi chose not to prod, for the time being, only nodding in response as he drove. He could see you stare out the window at the passing building and he watched your shaking for curl into the car seat. He settled on this resolve of leaving you alone all the way up to the inside of his apartment until your lip quivered as you plopped down on the couch, eyes unwavering from its spot at your feet. Then, you began to cry. No, not cry, sob, sob your hardest and just like that, a single tear snapped the ever-thinning string of restraint he had left.

You were pulled into Yoongi’s chest as sobs racked through your body, you clutched his shirt as you soaked it with tears of fear, relief, joy, and you couldn’t stop. Hell, you could barely breathe. Even so, Yoongi held you as his expensive dress shirt crumbled under your grip and stained with your mascara and eyeliner proving not to be as water-resistant as you hoped. His grip was unwavering and when a hand went to stroke your hair, you could feel oxygen reach your lungs again. 

“It’s okay.” He breathed, “You’re safe now.” He fought the urge to clench his jaw again as you gripped his shirt harder.

Your breathing began to even as he whispered soft words into your ear until your eyes couldn’t cry anymore. The both of you stood there for what felt like an eternity, clinging onto one another as he felt the softness of your cardigan against his hands. You eventually broke the silence with a meek, “I’m so sorry." 

"Why is that?” He spoke softly, his last intent was to scare you.

“I ran away from the shoot, and I know it’s not professional but…” You shivered, “ He didn’t have a camera.” Yoongi could kill somebody, “He had three other guys with him.” Someone, no, all of them are going to have to pay, he concluded. Nobody involved would leave the ordeal with their lives intact. They would lose everything for trying to take his sunshine away, for making your light falter, for even a moment.

He ripped himself from you, to sternly meet your eyes, “Do not apologize for the swine you encountered.” Your eyes only reflected sorrow, “You’re alive, and that is what matters most, okay?” You nodded.

“You’re not mad at me?” Your voice cracked against your will as you looked up at Yoongi, eyes glassy and begging for reassurance.

He visibly softened, “No, Sunshine, I could never be mad at you.” You nodded in understanding, “But will you let me fix this for you?”

Maybe you should have known from the beginning. You looked at Yoongi, so eager to be your saving grace, eyes intense with intent, and yet his touch was so soft. A man in love was a dangerous man, you once read in a book. Yet, never in your life have you craved such a man before, and if Yoongi’s rage mixed with infatuation could measure close to love, you would take it. He was powerful, he was kind, and he was pleasing to the eye. He was offering you the world in that one question.

“Please.” You cast your pride aside, “They don’t deserve mercy.” An angry tear went down your cheek, “I’m so tired of trying to brave it, doubting myself, denying myself any chance of help.” You could feel the tear trickle with hot fury, “I’m so fucking sick of relying on myself.”

Yoongi was quick to catch the tear with the softest hand you’ve ever felt, “I’m here now.” He spoke with the utmost confidence.

Your relationship with Yoongi from that point for the next couple of months was interesting, to say the least. You had somehow moved in upon his request, him rationalizing it by saying they knew where you lived. Granted, he wasn’t wrong. Hyungin knew where you lived, but within two weeks he and the monsters you encountered were promptly locked in a very dangerous maximum-security prison. You decided not to dwell on how they took such a shitty deal with a well-deserved long sentence. 

Some things were above your pay grade, and you made peace with it.

Even so, he didn’t stop there. He could no longer stand on the sidelines anymore. That line blurred beyond recognition the moment he held you in his arms. He was essentially your new manager, stating he owed you at least that much after letting you fall into the hands of such a monster. Thankfully, the releasing of official statements and press conferences were received well. The victim-blaming for the nature of your podcast kept to an obsolete minimum. Your face still had not been released upon your request and you were able to move on, the media no longer covering the story as the sentencing was sealed.

The months passed in a flurry of Yoongi being awfully vague each time you asked about his personal life. He was constantly home outside of work, which you didn’t mind, but you didn’t want him to put his social life on your accord. You also had much less confidence in his infatuation for you then you did a couple months ago. Every time you tried to make a move, which meant a small brush of physical contact, he was not responding. The last time he gave you affection was the hug during your breakdown. The most you got out of him were a couple of head pats.

Like that did anything for you.

For crying out loud, you ran a sex and lifestyle podcast with no sex from the hot man you lived in the same home as.

Hell, the most emotion you see from him is the purest politeness you have ever encountered.

“Hello my listeners, welcome to the obligatory virginity talk.” Your voice was crisp in the mic as Yoongi laid in his bed, headphones in, listening to the newly released podcast. He was still a loyal listener, despite you living in his guest bedroom. He still could not get enough of your voice. If anything, he craved you more and desperately held himself back. He loved having you with him, but never did he think he would have to turn to rubbing one out during your more racy episodes or when he heard you pleasuring yourself in the dead of night. 

Not even his thoughts could satiate him with you right there, and yet, out of reach.

“It has come to my attention that many of you think I’m a virgin, not that it’s an insult..” He could hear the smile in your voice, “Alas, I am not, but that doesn’t change my hand being the most impressive thing my pussy has seen, I’ll tell you what.” You giggled at this, “No, I take that back, my magic wand is my BFF.” Yoongi shifted, wondering if you had your toys in your room. He had sent for all of your things after all. God, he could already feel his dick hardening. How pathetic you make him at the very thought of you fucking yourself silly, eyes rolled back, vibrator against your clit. He huffed, shaking away the thoughts, “ Anyhow, let’s talk trends I am late to, rare, I know, but what’s this whole spelling coconut with your hips riding someone business?” You pondered, “I haven’t ridden someone in a good while, and my dildo can’t tell me if it feels good, so I’m at a loss here.” You sighed almost longingly, “God, I miss getting fucked, but also romanced,” You groaned, “It’s been a rough as fuck dry couple of months, which didn’t bother me for a while considering… you know, but the world keeps turning and I stay alone but moving on…” You droned and Yoongi went into overdrive.

Did you seriously want to fuck someone? Like someone else? You were living with him now, why would you feel the need to have relations with anyone else? His fists clenched at the very concept. You couldn’t be talking for show, you were say too genuine. Before he could even stop himself, he marched over to his bedroom door, ripping it open.

Only when he did had did he realize that you were in front of him, hand raised to knock on the door, “Oh, hey.” You gave him a smile as you slowly retreated your raised arm, “I was just gonna see if you wanted to watch a movie with me?” Every so often you both would have a movie night in which you would try to understand his feelings with small touches and ultimately fail. Nevertheless, you enjoyed his company. Today, you were buying into an article’s advice and watching a scary one. Not that you were terrified, but you were a jumpy person. 

At this rate, you couldn’t tell if you were horny or just wanted affection.

Both, probably.

Your crush on Yoongi had only worsened throughout this whole experience to top it off. He was hot and kind who could blame you? And yet, he never made a single move as if he had no interest. God, what if he didn’t have any interest?

Your heart sank for a moment, “If not, I think I was gonna try to go out-”

“No!” Your eyes widened at Yoongi’s panicked tone when he cleared his throat, “I mean, I want to watch a movie, so you don’t have to go out.” He muttered and you nodded slowly. He could not have you going out, not after what he heard. You were craving other people. He couldn’t bear the thought.

“O…kay…” You smiled a bit, “Well, I picked a scary one if you think you can hang.” You gave him a sly smile before going to make popcorn. 

He smiled as he watched you prance to the kitchen. You were so beautiful and fun and everything he’s ever needed. All that was left was for you to be his, but he didn’t want to scare you away. He had to be a gentleman. He had to wait for the right time. That’s what Jin, Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung said. The only issue was that he had no idea what the hell that meant.

“You know, Mr. Min-”

“Yoongi.” He was quick as ever to correct you, “Please.” He sounded more desperate than usual and you nodded.

“Right, well I was just going to say that you have absurd taste in snacks.” You said with a chuckle, “All I ever see in you cupboards are coffee.” You wistfully sigh, “I need to go grocery shopping.”

The sound of you being so domestic-made Yoongi break into an ill-concealed smile as he settled onto the sofa, setting the oddly scary movie you chose up, “I can take you on Saturday.” You nodded when you finally found a bag of chips and sat next to the man of your affection with a cushion between the two of you.

You really couldn’t say what the movie was about, you had only seen it between the gaps in your fingers all while Yoongi watched it with a straight face. When it ended he said a short goodnight as always, except something in you, lurched out. 

“Actually, I think I may go out after all.” You swore you followed your mouth’s lead as opposed to the opposite. You just said shit and had to go along with it. Fuck, you didn’t want to go out. You wanted to stay home and be scared that there was a ghost in the closet, but now you had to get ready and shit.

“Why?” Yoongi stopped, hand gripping his door handle much harder than usual. 

You were taken aback by the question. It was valid, you supposed. But was it? How do you even answer that question? “Well, it’s been a while since I've… ya know…” You clicked your tongue, suddenly too shy to say,

“Had sex?” It was so blunt, and his eyes pierced through you and yet, you could feel your core tingle.

You were nothing but a sputtering mess, “W-W, I-I, Mr. Min-”

“Yoongi, y/n.” He spoke through gritted teeth as he stalked over to you. Despite the unconscious steps back you were taking, the couch brought you to an abrupt stop.

“R-Right, anyways, I-” You shut your mouth when Yoongi hovered over you with his presence alone.

“Say it,” He glared daggers into your form, “Say my name.” Before you could even open your mouth Yoongi groaned, slamming his hands on the couch on either side of you in frustration, “God, why do you want other people when I’m right fucking here?” Your mouth was agape at this, “I’m so sick of holding myself back.” He cursed, body pressing against yours.

“What do you mean? Other people?” You mustered and Yoongi let out a chuckle void of humor.

“I listened to your podcast about wanting to be with someone and getting romance and…” Yoongi seriously thought you had been referring to anyone but him? Him? Seriously? The hot man in the place you live? You couldn’t stifle your laugh which caused his rant to falter, “How is this a laughing matter I am-”

“So fucking dense.” You giggled, “I’ve wanted you to at least look my way for the past three years, and you seriously think I want to be with other people?!” You sighed, “I live with you for fuck’s sake, and you won’t touch me!” Now, you were letting your frustrations out, “I brush your hand, I touch thighs with you, I-I  scare the shit out of myself hoping you’ll at least hold me!” You heaved a breath, “And all you do is stay still!” You let out a frustrated yell, “The most attention I got from you was when I was almost attacked, is that what I need to do to draw sap from a fucking rock?!”

Yoongi flared at this, “Don’t ever think about putting yourself in danger.” He pointed at you, “I couldn’t take it, and I can’t take you not being honest with me, I thought you never noticed-” He was being a hypocrite, but he didn’t care.

“How could you say I don’t notice you when you straight up forgot I existed until this year?!” Yoongi was the one dumbfounded this time, and you took your chance to push past him, “I will go out tonight because I deserve-”

You couldn’t even breathe the next syllable before your back hit Yoongi’s bedroom door, his hands pinning your wrists above your own, the man breathing heavy. The air was thick with frustration as he gave you a stern look, “You deserve the world, I know,” The anger in you began to dissipate at his sincerity in his words, “And I am so in love with you, that I don’t think I’m worthy of giving it to you,” Your breath hitched at this, “But I don’t care anymore, because I would sooner kill someone before they put their hands on you, I’m sure you know I mean business, Sunshine?” You nodded, every cell in your body springing to life as Yoongi drew his lips closer to you, “So?”

You blew out a shaky breath with an equally shaky smile, “L-Love me? I-" 

"Say you love me, and I’ll do it.” He was more rushed this time, urgent almost, “I’ll stop holding back, and I will give you all that you deserve and so, so much more.” He was almost pleading.

What the fuck do you know about love? What does it look like? Sound like? Is it the way Yoongi smiles at your dumb jokes in the morning? Is it the way his voice sounds through the walls as he practices newly-written lyrics? He was a good man to you. He was an attractive man. He could give you the world, and all he wanted in return was your love. Could all of this be love? Could it be the way he’s made you feel the past couple of years, especially the last couple of months? 

Well, why the hell wouldn’t it be?

“I love you, Yoongi.” You breathed against his lips and he didn’t miss a beat in closing the gap so not even air could come between the two of you.

Electrifying all over again, but so, so different. This wasn’t fear. This was lust lighting a fire within you that Yoongi only stoked further as his silky tongue tangled with yours in a flurry of repressed emotions and endless unspoken confessions. His mouth attached to your neck and you let out a moan, quickly going to cover your mouth. 

He ripped your hand away almost instantly, “You’re rarely this shy when you’re in your room, why deny me your sounds now?” He growled against your ear and the pure sex in his voice only made you moan louder. He was the rain you had admired from afar, but now he was pressed against you, and holy shit, were you getting wet.

“Yoongi, I don’t know if I can wait, I want to cum so fucking ba-ah!” You yelped when his hand went to cup your sex under the long shirt you always wore. You were on your tippy-toes, too sensitive to press your full weight onto him.

“Such an innocent-looking girl with such a nasty mouth.” He squeezed you in his hand and watched in glory as your eyes rolled back, “Since you’re a fan, I’ll be nice.” He teased as he got onto his knees, dragging your panties down with him to the floor.

“Oh shit.” You let out a breath that was quickly stolen when his tongue pressed against your entry. He lifted your leg, placing it over his shoulder as his mouth lapped at your clit and you lost yourself in the feeling, moaning mindlessly.

“You taste like deliverance.” He mumbled against your pussy and this only made your eyes roll back at the eroticism in his words. You couldn’t even keep track of what he was doing anymore.

All you could do was feel. His tongue fucked you into oblivion as he held your hips still, determined to make you come with his mouth, and his mouth alone. He let out a lewd suck and you quivered at the sensation and action. He knew how to play you and please you that you did. His tongue entered you again and he let out a delicious moan which vibrated against your folds, “Fuck, you sound and feel so fucking good!” You cried out as his tongue made thick strokes against you that only sped up expertly as he moaned into you, “Can I cum, Yoongi?” You asked, a smart girl, he concluded. He smirked against you, full intention to deny your request until, “Please, my love, I want to cum in your mouth like a good girl.” You begged pathetically and he couldn’t refuse you. You had him wrapped around your finger and hardly knew it. He got to work quickly, tongue entering you again only to flick upwards and you groaned at this. Groans were quickly replaced by increased screaming as he stiffened his tongue and licked all around your sex. You began to scream his name like a mantra as you tighten around the muscle and came the hardest you ever had.

You slumped against the door, chest heaving, “You okay, baby?” The nickname from him elicited a tired smile. You looked down at the man, lips glossy as he licked them. He sat back on his calves and you wasted no time in diving at him on the floor.

Before he could react, you gripped him through his sweatpants and smiled when you realized he was rock hard, “Can I please ride you?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes and he knew he couldn’t possibly say no.

“Your wish is my command, sunshine.” He growled when you straddle him as he sat, legs spread and back against the back of the couch now. You gave a less than innocent smile as you reached for his member, delicate hands wrapping around him, only to pull it free and closer to your entrance, “Condom?” He questioned.

“Pill, I need to feel you, fuck.” You panted, against logical judgment, but it was lost when you pressed the head against your own entrance, “Shit.” You ground against Yoongi as his head lolled back.

He could hardly handle it as your hips twirled, the tip just outside your entrance. Finally, he had enough, and with strong hands pulled your hips to fill you to the hilt. Your mouth popped open in shock and pure masochistic delight as the pain only added to the high of lust Yoongi gave you, “Sorry, baby girl, I knew you would feel so fucking good.” He emphasized this with a thrust up, “Plus, I could hardly resist being deep inside you immediately.” He growled in sadistic pride as your face twisted in pain and pleasure.

“Hurts so good.” Your hips moved spastically, chasing another high with Yoongi deep inside you. Not once did you lift your hips. You wanted to stay full, and Yoongi was more than happy to oblige, “So good, I wanna stay like this.” You moaned out as he sucked on your neck, hands going under your shirt to grip your breasts with a fevor you craved.

“You feel like heaven.” He grunted against your neck as he littered it with hickey after hickey. You were his and the way you squeezed around him and clawed at his shoulder only spurred him further. 

Yoongi could feel himself twitching inside you and this only made you gasp as you gleefully squeezed around him, “Yes, yes,” You sounded like a prayer to him, “Cum inside me, I need it.” You were nearly screaming as he began to thrust into you at a rapid pace.

“Yeah? You want me to paint those pretty walls white, hm?” He teased you despite the strain in his voice, “Fuck it right into that pretty pussy of yours, no mine.” He grabbed your hips, working your body for his own high, “This is my pussy, isn’t it?" 

"Yes, it’s all yours, Yoongi!” You yelled and with that, he groaned as he came, ropes of cum that you could feel as his hips made good of his promise to fuck it into you. You milked him as you squeezed tighter before coming undone as you came with a scream that sounded like the next symphonic masterpiece to the fucked out man inside you.

You huffed a small chuckle against his neck as your curled your form around his, “So needy.” He teased as he went to remove himself inside of you only to be met with a squeeze from you that made him curse, “You’re gonna kill me, I swear.”

You giggled, “I like how you feel inside of me.” You shrugged before shivering at the empty feeling only to gasp when three fingers were shoved into you. You wiggled in glee, “Fuck.” Your breath hot against his neck.

 "You just like to be full, huh baby?“ You nodded shyly, "You’re perfect.” He chuckled as he used his other hand to stroke your back.

—-

“Announcement time, my dear listeners” You spoke in the studio, trying not to sound like it was through gritted teeth. You counted your blessings that you were alone, “As you know, your dear old Sugar Sun has promised a face reveal and I-Min Yoongi!” Well, mostly alone. You heaved a breath as you came against his mouth for the third time.

The man between your legs looked up at you, eyes way too innocent, “What? I’m waiting for my part.” He spoke nonchalantly despite the wetness on his lips.

“I’ll never get there if you keep making me cum and start over.” You glared and the man shrugged, “I got far enough, right, babe?” You pouted and watched his resolve crack, “Honeypie?” You pleaded and he faltered, “Love of my life?” He grumbled as he sat up next to you in front of the mic.

“Fine, go ahead.” He licked his lips.

“…and I decided to go a step further.” You smiled as the man next to you held your hand, “I will be doing a photoshoot to reveal my face and my collab partner to an upcoming song and my boyfriend…”

You looked to him, eyes twinkling, “That would be my cue.” He placed a quiet kiss on your head, “My name is Min Yoongi or Agust D as some of you may know, and I look forward to my career and life with this little piece of sunshine.” You giggled at this.

“So cheesy.” You gave him a bright smile nonetheless, “Crazy news, I know, but I secured the fucking bag, my dear listeners, he’s never getting rid of me." 

You were joking for the most part, but you didn’t know how right you were. You would not be away from him any longer. You were his sunshine, his little songbird, and his world all at the same time. He needed you like he needed to breathe. Now, you were his. You were his sunshine despite the rain he embodied. The rainbow between the two of you was too intoxicating to even bear the idea of giving it up. Even for a fraction of second. You were his. Every moment, minute, second, everything would be together. He was yours now and forever just as you were his. Blissfully and eternally in love.

"I’m too crazy to let go now.” You laughed as he kissed your temple affectionately.

So was he.

Buy me a ko-fi (it would make my day) 

Masterlist

[aweebwrites]

Move on Dragons Ch24

In the end, they ended up having a sleepover in the living space, blankets, pillows and the like put together to create one huge sleeping space currently occupied by all 9 bodies on the ship, Cole watching them all fondly from his place half floating next to Kai who had Rux curled up against his chest, he as well as everyone else fast asleep. Somewhere along the night, he lost his ability to remain solid but that was expected. Being solid enough to touch, even if he couldn’t feel it, was something that was always temporary. His eyes drifted over to Jay and Nix on the other side of him, Nix all but sleeping on Jay’s face while Jay’s tail draped across Zane’s waist. Across where he lay, Nya was asleep next to Pixal, Lloyd behind her, shifting around in his sleep as he always does with Little G unmovingly nestled in his hair. Lloyd had put up a valiant effort to stay up with him as he didn’t sleep like this, but clocked out after just a few minutes after everyone else fell asleep. He was ok with this though. Not sleeping. It meant he could watch over his friends, his family as they slept. He gave them a lingering smile before he glanced out the nearest window, the previous day’s storm fading away with dawn.

He got up, floating himself over them then over to the window to look out at the outside. There was still puddles of water about and knowing the twins, there’s gonna be one heck of a mess when they wake up. Cole blinked once the sound of beating wings sounded. From just how loud they were, that had to be one of the elders.

“Five more minutes dad…” Kai mumbled, cuddling Rux closer, the latter only twitching a leg before settling again.

Cole bit back a laugh as the flapping faded out. He found it a little strange at first how Kai could call a dragon something like that- how he could call a dragon version of Garmadon like that. But then he met the dragon and immediately understood. He was… Like a father to everyone actually. Even he sometimes had to catch himself from calling him so. He huffed through his nose, placing a hand on his cheek as he floated by the window still. He was sure the latter wouldn’t have minded at all. But thinking of the elder dragon, it would be a good idea for him to seek one of them out. But considering that the sky’s not all cleared up and that the clouds were still rather low hanging, meaning that the top of the tower where they resided would still be covered in fog. He’s never come in contact with fog while being in this state before but he wasn’t willing to try. He’d let the others handle contacting them for now. A bout of anxiety pushed itself to the forefront of his mind.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little worried about the what if’s. What if the time forwarding doesn’t work? What if Vortica can’t help? What if he had to spend the rest of his life like this? He knows his friends will always be there, will always keep trying but… What if this is the one thing they can’t help with? He tries not to dwell on that little bubble of fear but it was harder said than done. In quiet moments like this, there really was no escape from them. A part of him… He clenches his fist. A part of him even believes he’ll never go back to normal...

“Cole?" He glanced over his shoulder at where Zane had just woken up, looking at him with concern. "Are you ok?" Zane asked him, despite knowing that was a loaded question.

"Yeah. Just got a bit bored is all." He shrugged.

"Oh. Should we have left the TV on? We'll make sure to do that tomorrow…" Zane murmured, glancing at the TV as he spoke.

"Nah. No need. If I wanted to, I could just possess the TV and turn it on but you guys were sleeping anyways." Cole reassured, brushing off his concern. “I heard one of the elders head out not too long ago…” He added to change the topic.

“Ah. I see. Though I’m certain whichever of them is at the tower would still have access to the time forward blade.” Zane reassured as he sat up and Cole only nods, watching as he stood up. “Since I’m first to awaken, I’ll make breakfast.” He announced then headed into the kitchen space.

“Cool.” Cole mumbled to himself, looking out again.

Sure he was able to somewhat eat but what would be the sense in that? He can’t taste anything and it would only result in food wasted. He sighed. Here’s to hoping he can actually have a body again soon…

____

“What?” Wu looked at the half dragons with large gold eyes, utterly surprised.

“So I take it you guys never had to deal with ghosts before?” Jay asked, looking up at the surprised group.

“No. No we hadn’t.” Wisp answered, looking over Cole curiously.

“This is what this world’s version of me looked like as a ghost?” Morro asked, tilting his head to the side as he looked over Cole just floating there.

“Yes and no. He was way more edgier- and he wasn’t wearing pants.” Kai told him and Morro gave an intrigued sound.

“So can you turn me back?” Cole asked hopefully.

“I can try, though matters of the soul are usually out of time’s hands.” Wu says, talking in as much of him as possible before he rested on his back paws and reached out to the space before him with his front, confusing the team- that is until a gold rift opened up and Wu slipped his paw inside then pulled out the time forward blade.

“I didn’t know you could do that!” Lloyd sputtered, awed.

“Well, uncle is a creation dragon so of course he could create pocket dimensions. How else do you think he stores all the stuff he has?” Lloydie asked, tilting his head to the side and Lloyd immediately began wondering if their Wu could do the same. That would explain where he keeps getting all those different kinds of tea leaves, despite rarely leaving the Monastery…

“The power of time is only meant to be used by those chosen to do so. I may not be able to use it as precisely as they can.” Wu warned as he grasped the lowly glowing green blade. “You may become older than you were or I may not forward time far enough.” He told Cole who was nodding, even before Wu had finished.

“Being old is better than being a ghost, trust me. Do it.” He told Wu who nodded.

“You guys might wanna stand clear.” Mist told the others and they spread their wings and flew towards the dragons, Nya carrying Pixal as they did.

“Alright.” Wu nods then grasped the blade firmly, it’s light increasing before he aimed it at Cole.

He watched as the beam of green shot at him, unable to feel its effect but that was no surprise. It was apparent soon after however, that it wasn’t working. Wu stopped the blast as he gave a hum of contemplation.

“Give it another shot! You might not have fast forward time on me enough!” He called up to the elder and he and the other dragons shared a look.

“Very well.” Wu says then attempts it again- but to Cole and the rest of the team’s dismay, the results stayed the same.

He was still a ghost.

“As I feared. Time truly has no influence on the soul. Krux might have been able to turn the time back on you while you were physical but that also exempted you from being troubled by time.” Wu murmured in thought and Cole’s breath hitched.

“S-so I’m gonna be a ghost forever?!” He couldn’t help the tone of panic that slipped into his tone.

“Unlikely.” Shard spoke up. “This was done by unnatural methods so the chances of this being permanent is slim. What will most likely happen is that this will wear off on its own. It may take some time as we aren’t sure how long you were a ghost for before, nor are we sure exactly when he sent you back. So you could return to normal any time within the period of time you were a ghost for.” He theorized.

“That might take months…” Nya says with a frown on the head of her dragon counterpart, Pixal nearby.

“But it only took a few seconds with my father…” Lloyd says, allowing the little black dragon to coil around his wrist.

“That might be due to time being reversed on him seconds before he became split apart.” Zane spoke up. And really, that might be for the best as we aren’t sure how him being whole for longer would affect Lord Garmadon.” He murmured.

“That’s way too long to sit around and wait though.” Kai spoke up with a frown.

“Yeah! We can’t just sit around doing nothing about it!” Jay protested.

“Then we move on to plan b.” Pixal says, pulling out the small messenger Vortica left behind.

“Don’t worry Cole, we’ll get you back to normal soon.” Kai says as he glided down to where Cole was floating, watching them converse back and forth.

Cole gave him a wan smile, hoping they really could… Before he starts disappearing…

“What should we send her?” Nya asked them as Pixal pulled up the message log.

“*Any cure for the ghost itch?*” Jay suggested. “What?” He asked when they all gave him a look.

“Why not that?” Lloydie asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“Going by what we’ve heard of her, Vortica won’t put too much effort into reading a long message so the shorter the better.” Morro reminded and the team contemplated that.

“Morro has a point. Shorter messages would be better.” Zane nodded.

“Alright.” Pixal nodded then typed and sent a quick *Cole’s a ghost. Any cure?* off to Vortica.

Pixal blinked when there was an immediate reply.

“I liked ‘cure for the ghost itch’ better’.” Pixal read aloud and Jay gave a loud ‘ha!’. “Oh. I’m getting a call. Fascinating.” She says then answered, blinking at the holograph of Vortica that popped up.

“So it happened here too. Surprising since it’s a rare phenomenon I’ve only encountered once before. Nevertheless, gather ‘round little ninja. Cole will need your help to overcome this one.” She says as she shifted to sit on her side, the ninja quickly gathering around Pixal on Mist’s head. “Alright. First thing’s first, the dragons and their powers are still adapting to your world, since as you might have noticed, their world and powers follow different laws of physics. In the dimension I’ve seen it happen in before, only one of those little dragons were babyfied and it was done on purpose. But given how close that dimension is to yours, the solution will be the same. Cole will need to embrace this ghostly state of his completely. That or wait four and a half months-”

“What?!” Cole interrupted, the very idea of becoming- ok with being a ghost completely absurd to him. “No way! There has to be some other way-”

“There isn’t.” Vortica interrupted back. “Truth of the matter is, you really aren’t a ghost. The laws of time are different in the dragon dimension from they are yours. If it happened in their dimension, you would actually be a ghost for who knows how long. Your world’s laws of time refused to bow to theirs so as a compromise that wouldn’t tear apart the very fabric of reality, it instead created an ultra realistic illusion over you. One that can only be broken by accepting what that illusion is. It allows you all the abilities you have as a ghost still but you aren’t. Complicated, yeah but better than the destruction of your dimension.” She shrugged.

“... So just Rux using his powers almost destroyed our dimension? Aha… Anyone else terrified and might have nightmares for weeks?” Jay asked skittishly.

“... That doesn’t make sense…” Cole says, struggling to understand and Vortica huffed.

“Better get used to that now. Nothing about dimensions makes sense. Every dimension has laws. Some are close to yours which makes it easy to understand but others are some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen. One dimension I remember couldn’t have chocolate exist or it would cause a domino effect that would lead up to the destruction of the planet there.” She huffed and they looked at each other confused. “Anyway, it’s one or the other. Accept it or wait for it to wear off. No in betweens and it’s all up to you. Friends just make it easier.” Vortica shrugged, bringing a straw in a cup of boba to her mouth to drink.

Cole frowned. No way can he up and accept that he was a ghost, not when disappearing will be just around the corner and no way can he deal with this for four and a half months… But at the same time… If this really was some complex illusion and he’s really not a ghost… Then… It should be fine… Right?

________________ (Sorry for the inconsistent updates but I am trying my best! This chapter might be a little confusing but dimensions are confusing. I'll clear things up over the course of the next two or so chapters so dw! Cole's arc has just about reached the middle and once I'm done with that then I'll get to the finale. I expect the finale to take up a little over 10 chapters so you can see we're in the endgame now [lol I couldn't resist]. I'll try to put all my focus on this up to the end! Thanks for reading!!!)

[lovehugsandcandy]

It’s Only a Game (Part 5/Interlude) (N*FW)

A/N: Thanks for reading! This is completely AU now and I am pretending that Chapter 10 on never happened. After the last chapter, I wanted something to make me happy again :-). This is N*FW (I have never written anything like this before but, I guess like Ellie, I too am trying new things). If you don’t read this, you will not miss anything in the story, really, and this will be the only N*FW part.

Pairing: Colt x MC

Rating/Warning: N*FW --- people have sex in this part. PLEASE do not read if you don’t want to see that. I know Ellie is in high school but she’s also 18 so I went back and forth and back and forth on this. She is legally an adult and is experimenting a lot with who she wants to be and what she wants to do (and the repercussions of those choices) so, for me, this fits in with her story. If it doesn’t for you, no worries.

Length: 2906 words

Summary: Ellie spends the night in Colt’s bed. For real this time.

Tags (LMK if you want to be added or removed...I am really bad at tags and apologize in advance): @deimosensblog @alegria1580  @choicesarehard @thefarrari @client-327 @moonlit-girl-wonder @going-down-downtown @jolietmaraud @soniadotalves

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is only for fun.

IF YOU DIDN’T READ THE RATING, PLEASE READ THE RATING. THIS IS N*FW. Thanks! <3

Ellie pulled into the shop; it seemed so cliche, but her cheeks hurt from smiling. She had never been as exhilarated as when she crossed the finish line seconds before Salazar. Yes, she had lost a side view mirror and one of her bumpers was cracked, but that could all be repaired. However, nothing would replace the joy that she felt when she caught sight of his face behind the steering wheel. She hoped this feeling would never fade.

Colt sat next to her. His motorcycle was in a few pieces on the floor of the shop, so he rode shotgun with her all night and his delighted whoop as they crossed the finish line was burned him her brain. She wasn't exactly sure where they stood but he had been her shadow all night, standing close and sneaking touches in ways that felt entirely too intimate for the public space. She saw Mona shooting her a knowing look at one point and she flushed, but she was so light and happy that she couldn't bring herself to truly care.

He smirked at her. "You almost make me want to get back behind the wheel so I could take you on."

"Ha. You don’t stand a chance." She grinned back, a flush of heat running through her as their eyes met. She bit her lip and thought of the night after the Masquerade Ball. They had both been so exhausted that they had fallen into Colt's bed, half asleep, but there was something sweet about being there, wrapped in his t-shirt with his arm securely around her waist. The morning was a bit less sweet, more spice, as Colt had woken her up with lingering kisses down her neck, pulling the back of the t-shirt down to kiss lower and lower, down her shoulders, marking her where no one would see.

Colt's voice brought her back to the present. "Wanna make a bet on that?" He raised an eyebrow, leaning across the console.

She smiled, watching his eyes travel down her face as she got closer, and leaned into him, taunting, “I’m not scared. You have a habit of not collecting on those bets.” Finally, she crossed the final inches and their lips met. Ellie didn't think he would ever get tired of this, his lips insistent on hers, fingers threading through her hair. She deepened the kiss, clutching the front of his jacket. His hands moved to her hips, sliding to her thighs before grasping and suddenly pulling her over the center console and onto his lap. She looked up in shock. "Smooth, Colt. Smooth."

"I know," he smirked and leaned back in, capturing her lips again. She settled into him, gripping his hair, while his hands settled on the sides of her skirt. His fingers traced unintelligible patterns over the hem and underneath, swirling touches that had had her arching against him. His lips moved to behind her ear and she couldn't think, could only pant for breath as his lips traveled to her neck and lower still.

The car was suddenly bathed in light and Ellie could see Logan's Devore GT pulling into the bay.

"Dammit," Colt pulled away, kissing her lips one last time before he turned to place her back on the driver's seat.

Ellie stopped him with a hand to his jaw, turning his face so she could stare into his eyes. "Later." She looked at him meaningfully, watching his mouth drop open in understanding.

"Later?"

Ellie nodded decisively. "Later." She slid back to her seat and pulled open the door without a backwards glance.

~~~~~

Ellie slowly sat up in bed and cautiously looked over at Logan. She had waited five minutes since he fell asleep to be sure; she probably should wait longer, but she absolutely couldn't stand it. Her feet hit the cool floor and she paused; when Logan didn’t stir, she tiptoed, past the creaky floor boards, and walked the path to Colt’s basement room.

She paused at the door. She knew she wanted this, wanted him, but taking this step seemed, again, like falling into an abyss she didn’t know if she could escape from. She didn’t know if she wanted to escape from it.

She blinked as the door creaked open. Colt stood there, barefoot. He must have heard her creep down the hall. “Hey.” He stood back, studying her as she walked in, and closed the door behind her.

“Hi.” She was suddenly shy, staring at him. She had been so sure, thinking of him, caught up in the wanting, and now that he was standing in front of her, real and solid, she was unsteady. She knew what she wanted but she never thought, in this place, this mix between a den of thieves and family of orphans, this was where she could finally have sex. She couldn’t even think about it without feeling her cheeks redden.

Colt could obviously see her hesitation and he frowned, tilting his head at her, his eyes searching her face. “Listen, we can just go to sleep, ok. We don’t need to-”

Ellie took a deep breath and cut him off. She wanted this, more than she wanted freedom from her dad, more than she wanted to be valedictorian, more than anything. Quickly, she moved to him, she was standing so close she could feel his heat, smell his cologne. “Yeah, we don’t need to do anything.” She looked up and subconsciously wet her lips. “But I want to.”

She saw Colt blink and suddenly, his lips were on hers and she was done thinking. She gave as good as she got, folding into him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders as his hands grabbed her hips possessively. Their lips and tongues tangled and he slowly guided her backwards until her back hit his dresser. Their mouths never separating, he grabbed hold of her hips and slid her on top of the low surface, settling between her legs so she could wrap her calves around his waist. They were impossibly close and Ellie wanted him even closer, digging her nails into his back to urge him forward and fuse any distance between them.

Eagerly, she grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled up. Colt quickly obliged, pulling his shirt over his head and returning to her lips, kissing her breathless. She ran her hands over the planes of his chest, definition of his abs, and felt a familiar heat starting to build. She had just started to grind her hips, a small slow motion to get friction where she needed it, when Colt kissed a blazing path to her ear and spoke.

"You didn’t seem so sure a second ago..." 

Ellie sat, confused, as he breathed in, still next to her ear, small puffs of air that sent sparks through her stomach and made her bare her neck. He took the obvious invitation, lips running down to her neck, all suction and heat. She tried to catch her breath. "It’s just...." she stopped, struggling to put it into words. "I've never. I want it to be with you."

Understanding dawned and he leaned back to look at her. "You've never had sex."

She shrugged and looked away, blushing slightly. "You were my first kiss too, you know. I just....I trust you." God, she did, though it was going be her unraveling. 

He looked at her, teeth worrying over his lower lip. "And you want to. With me." She had seen Colt a lot of ways, happy, content, shocked, furious, but she had never seen him as vulnerable as he was now. 

She reached a hand out, pulling him close and kissing him, slowly, languidly. He relaxed into her arms, running his hands down her back, and pulled back to look at her, searching eyes boring into hers, eyebrow raised. "I'm tired of waiting for my life to begin. I want to live, not just watch other people live....." she trailed off, sighing, a pang of regret. Finally, with all the confidence she could muster, she nodded. “Yes. I want to. With you.”

Colt smirked and kissed her, hard. “You don’t have to ask me twice.” She felt his fingers trail up her stomach and her shirt quickly followed and was thrown on the floor, somewhere. His hands went into her hair as his lips went down, down, a fiery path of lips and tongue and teeth. Her head lolled backwards as his mouth found a nipple. 

Ellie had never had anyone touch her like this. She would have been shy, half-naked in front of a boy, but the heat of his hands and the feel his mouth crowded everything out of her mind.

Well, except one thing. “Wait. Wait wait wait.”

He looked up at her, still at her chest, and she could feel his cheek, soft against her. 

“Have you?”

“Have I what?” The puff of his breath made goosebumps form and she shivered.

“Have you ever....you know.....” Ellie flushed and regretted speaking. She would rather not know and get on with it but, as her current situation would attest, she wasn’t great at curbing her impulses sometime.

Colt stood up to kiss her, deeply, sliding his hand under her thighs. He pulled back to look intently at her. “...Never with you.”

With that, he lifted her up; Ellie threw her arms around his neck so she wouldn’t fall and held on, giggling, as he turned and dropped her on the bed; his lips made his way down again, down down down in a delicious line as he paused at the edge of her pajama pants, tracing the line on her lower stomach with lips and teeth and tongue that made her stomach clench and her toes curl.

She was wound up, tight like a spring, until his voice finally pierced through the fog. “Ellie?”

“Yeah?” She was breathing hard, unable to get air into her lungs, and it was so hot in the room that the touches and heat and Colt’s voice calling her name was making her brain melt.

“Okay?”

She couldn’t answer, could only repeat his name like a prayer and, thankfully, he seemed to understand, pulling her pajamas and her underwear off inch by inch, over shaking legs, to toss them on the floor.

He bent down again, tracing invisible designs with his teeth and his tongue, up her calves and up her inner thigh and up up up. Ellie was glad she had no idea what was coming because, when his tongue reached his destination, she swore that she saw sparks.

“Fuck!” The sound was punched from her, deep from her lungs, as he slid two fingers inside of her, moving in counterpoint to his lips and his tongue. She never swore but, in this moment, she would curse any deity on earth to get more of this feeling. She was too keyed up to be anxious, too turned on to be embarrassed; all she could do was clutch the bed sheets, twisting them so hard she would have worried about ripping them had her mind not been completely taken up by Colt and his mouth and his hands and the delicious things he was doing to her.

Time stood still and stretched on forever. All she could do was close her eyes and hold on tight as the pleasure overtook her, causing sparks behind her eyes so bright she had trouble focusing again. When her eyes cleared, she could see Colt, leaning over her with that insufferable smirk on his face. Perhaps just this once, he had earned it.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.” Her mouth would not stop moving of its own accord, her brain so far offline it couldn't keep up. Her legs were still shaking; she was trying to hook her foot around Colt to pull him to her, but her muscles would not cooperate. “Come here. Come here!”

He paused, looking at her, again flashing a sly grin at her. He pulled his pants and boxers off in one motion and slid on top of her, bending down for a deep kiss before rolling next to her, a long line of skin and flesh and muscle by her side.

“What are you doing? Come back!” She wanted him on top off her, his long warmth surrounding her, anchoring her into the bed.

Colt brushed a stray hair out of her eyes and smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. “You’re my driver, right?”

“Always,” Ellie breathed out, moving to kiss him again.

However, Colt ducked his head, putting a hand on each side of her hips and turning, spinning her so she slid on top of him.  She could feel every inch of him underneath her and sat up, a small gasp as she realized where their hips met. “Then drive,” he whispered, trailing feather light touches down her thighs.

Ellie bit her lip and slowly, slowly edged down, slow slow slow....stop. A gasp, a breath, breathe again. Guess I’m not a virgin anymore. It didn’t hurt, thank God, but it was weird. Someone else was inside her, as close as close could be, no distance between where she ended and he began.

She glanced to Colt but his eyes were closed, head bent back, mouth open with shuddering breaths. Slowly, carefully, Ellie moved her legs, a slow up-and-down and Colt moaned, loudly. She grinned; it was easy to see how this power could go to her head. She moved again, faster.

“Ellie....” Colt managed to groan out her name, eyes still closed, taking a few more shaky breaths before continuing. “Ellie, you ok?”

“Yeah.” She was moving a little faster, watching the pleasure flash across his face. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked up, pupils blown wide, amazement clear on his face. She wanted to bend over to kiss him but didn’t know if her legs would hold her, especially as she just was starting to figure out how to move. 

Eyes still on her, hot trails mapping her body, he started moving his hips, slight changes in angle. She wasn’t really sure what he was doing until he moved just right and her eyes widened. “Oh God!”

He grinned, still breathless. “Right there?” All she could do was nod, staring at him as he started to move in tandem with her, small movements that hit just right. He licked his lips and brought his thumb to his mouth, wetting it with a quick flick of his tongue. She watched, breathless, as he brought his thumb to her clit. He was touching her everywhere, inside, outside, and she was trying to move with him but it was becoming too much, everything just building inside her.

She couldn’t think, couldn’t focus, as the movement, the pleasure, the intensity, the pressure, everything was just too intense. The room disappeared, everything disappeared except the feeling. She vaguely heard Colt moan, long and low, and her movements became difficult and jerky as she followed him down into the abyss and came again, unable to stop Colt’s name from falling from her lips.

She fell forward, unable to hold herself up anymore; thankfully, Colt was there to catch her as her arms weren’t working. Up close, Colt’s eyes were dark, deeper than she had ever seen, framed by his delicate eyelashes, and he was still biting his lower lip. She couldn’t help but press her lips to his, light, smiling when his lips chased hers as she moved her head. An arm slid down her back, gentle, and she realized they both were covered in sweat.

“You ok, El?”

She dropped her head to his shoulder, suddenly exhausted. “Yeah. I’m good.”

“I was hoping for a little better than good.” 

“Well, I think I have a cramp in my toes.”

Colt laughed and kissed her forehead, then nudging her with his chin. “Come on, let’s clean up.” He was watching her, eyes soft, actually relaxed for once. She never wanted it to end.

“But I’m so comfortable...”

“You will be more comfortable after a shower. Come on.” He slid out from under her, rolling off the bed and standing next to her, lacing their fingers together, kissing her hand. “Come on....”

“Wait, are we taking this shower together?” Ellie rolled over, eyes dropping down his from his face to his chest, lower. She wouldn’t mind if he never wore clothes again.

He caught her eye and winked at her, turning to head to the bathroom. Ellie’s mouth dropped open and she managed to follow him, legs still trembling.

~~~~~

It was bliss to fall back into bed and cuddle up, warm and clean. Ellie felt loose, like she imagined a good massage would feel like, and she didn’t know if or when she had ever felt this happy. Her head hit the pillow and she could feel Colt’s arm snake around her, a warm weight on her stomach. She linked their fingers together and smiled.

Outside, she could hear a few cars speed by, the normal assortment of late-night noise. Drifting above the din, a car slowly drove by the street, with some old rock song spilling into the night. 

All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away again

Cocooned in Colt’s warmth and drifting off, Ellie barely heard the noise as she drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

[banshee-cheekbones]

standrew + sasha sloan - runaway (angsty af) ┰ω┰

hello friend, this is so delayed and I am so sorry!

anyways, four months to the day after I posted my last fic, I’m back, with a metric ton of angst and unresolved romantic tension! set in the days leading up to Steven’s move to New York! 

~4k, on ao3 here. the song that inspired this can be found here.

run away, runaway.

The Uber that picks Steven up at six o’clock in the morning smells like fresh leather and pine air freshener, like it rolled off the lot of a dealership only a few minutes ago. The inside is completely lacking in personality and customization. There are no trinkets on the dashboard, nothing dangling from the rear view mirror, nothing but NPR piping from the speakers.

Frankly, it’s almost strangely appropriate - a brand new car come to ferry him away to a brand new life.

The driver briefly greets him before pulling away from the curb and lapsing into silence, and Steven doesn’t try to pursue a conversation. For starters, it’s too early, and he’s too damn tired; he’d gotten maybe an hour of solid, decent sleep last night, even though he turned in around midnight. Most of his time in bed had been spent tossing and turning on his narrow couch, trying to find a spot that would send him off to sleep despite the racing of his mind and the way it had been desperately replaying every minute of the night’s events.

As the driver turns onto another street, one of a handful that will eventually lead to the interstate and then LAX and then New York City, the night starts unfurling again in the confines of his mind. He doesn’t bother trying to shove the recollection away, doesn’t try to distract himself with staring out the window at the passing scenery; it’s probably better that he get the replay over with now, so that he can get some sleep on the airplane and try to prepare himself for the hectic days and weeks to come.

So he closes his eyes, leans his head back against the firm leather of the seat, and lets last night (and the events that led up to it) wash over him in a wave composed of nothing less than pure and utter regret.

—

It’s Adam’s idea to have a farewell dinner.

He brings it up at lunchtime, a week before Steven’s official last day in the LA office, while they’re sitting at one of the picnic tables outside, sheltered from the sun by a massive umbrella and gorging themselves on food truck tacos. He says it so seriously that, for a moment, Steven can’t help but wonder if Adam has somehow misunderstood, that he’s gotten the impression that this is a permanent goodbye.

“You know I’ll be back here like, once a month, right?” he asks, wiping guacamole away from the corner of his mouth. “Probably more than that, actually.”

“I know,” Adam answers with a slight shrug of his shoulders and a fraction of a smile. “But still.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Andrew chimes in from Steven’s side. Despite the fact that each side of the table could easily fit three people (or four if they squeezed together), Andrew is pressed against his side, elbow to elbow and thigh to thigh, like they’re filming an episode of Worth It, warming Steven even more thoroughly than the sun. “Who knows when we’ll be able to hang out again? We’ll probably be too busy working on the show whenever you come back.”

“I’ll make time,” Steven replies, feeling a frown tugging at his mouth. The three of them had discussed the logistics of his move, how it would affect the show, in fair detail when he’d initially told them about it, but he can’t help but feel that he’s missing something here, that he’s maybe overestimated how well they took the news. However, going down that path seems like it could be a tangent that could drag them all down in the dumps, so instead, he plasters a smile onto his face and leans across the table to steal a piece of chicken that has fallen out of Adam’s taco. “But sure, we can do dinner. Where do you want to go?”

“You should pick,” Adam says, carefully pulling his taco back so that it’s out of Steven’s reach. “You pick, and we can make the rest of the arrangements.”

Even though it’s really not that big of a decision (especially when compared to the decision that precipitated it, the decision to move across the country on what is really a hunch and a feeling), it distracts Steven’s mind for the rest of the day. Every time he opens a tab on his laptop, intent on researching something or checking his email, he somehow finds himself looking up restaurants both new and old, places they’ve visited over the course of Worth It and places he’s had on his must try list for months. No matter how hard he tries to concentrate, it keeps happening, over and over again, and finally, when five o’clock comes around, he throws in the towel and dedicates himself fully to the task.

After half an hour purely devoted to research, he makes a decision.

He’s just grabbed his phone to text Adam and Andrew when the latter comes up the stairs from the lobby, burying a yawn into the crook of his elbow. His shirt is dotted with dark stains and dustings of flour, and his hair is a strange mixture of flattened and spiky. Per the usual, Steven’s heart skips a beat at the sight of him and, also per the usual, he forces himself to ignore that particular skip so that he can speak without fumbling every word from his mouth.

“Think Adam would be down with Le Petit Paris for dinner?”

“For next week?” A small smile forms on Andrew’s mouth as he drops down into his seat at the desk beside Steven’s. “Yeah, definitely. Good pick.”

It’s such a casual phrase, really means nothing in the grand scheme of things (frankly, Steven is pretty sure that he could pick most any restaurant in the city, and Andrew would think it was a good pick), but warmth still flickers in his cheeks and chest all the same.

“Thanks,” he replies, busying himself with packing up his laptop so that he doesn’t have to focus on trying to pull his gaze away from Andrew’s smiling face. “See you tomorrow?”

“Bright and early. Night, Steven.”

There’s always been something different about the way Andrew says his name, something that makes it so much more than an absent minded way to end a sentence. It’s almost feels considerate, somehow, coming from Andrew’s mouth, and Steven has to swallow heavily before he answers.

“Yeah. Night, Andrew.”

&.

The week seems to pass in the blink of an eye.

Every available moment is filled with something to do. When he isn’t at work, he’s at home, figuring out which of his possessions should go into storage for the time being and boxing up the rest, or he’s out with his friends or people from the office, soaking up every last bit of California sun, because he doesn’t know when he’ll be returning for more.

By the time Thursday morning comes around, his apartment looks like he’s just moved in. The only article of furniture still in one piece is the couch, which he’s been sleeping on for a few days. He spends the first half of the day keeping track of everything as movers load the carefully packed cardboard boxes and furniture into a truck, ready to take it across the country. When they drive away, his apartment is so empty that every sound he makes, every footstep and hum, echoes back at him.

Even though there’s probably some more cleaning he could do, the echoing starts to get at him, and he heads into work shortly after lunch, aiming to have a productive afternoon, to wrap up some stuff that will be easier to handle in person than from a few thousand miles away.

Instead, he spends the afternoon saying goodbye to what feels like seemingly everyone in the LA office. He picks up stakes a few times, moves to a different part of the compound so he can maybe have a better chance of focusing, but each time is to no avail. Someone, whether it be Jen or Kelsey or Garrett or Alix, always finds him.

At four thirty, he gives up. He isn’t going to get anything done, not now, and besides, their dinner reservations are in an hour; even if he didmanage to buckle down and focus, he’d get torn away again just as he was starting to hit a groove. So instead, he heads back upstairs to his desk to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything, to make sure he hasn’t left behind a mess for whoever will be taking his place.

He hasn’t. It could use a quick wipe down, but other than that, he’s already managed to remove all traces from it. The little trinkets that have accumulated on it over the years are gone, removed one at a time over the past few weeks. The drawer underneath it is empty of any personal effects; there are a few pens and other supplies rolling around, but he decides to leave them there as a kind of housewarming gift for his replacement.

Compared to Andrew’s desk on his left, with its box full of plushies and the photographs carefully peeking out of books, it looks downright sterile. At the sight of it, Steven’s chest grows momentarily tight, and he forces himself to tear his eyes away.

He’s not going to let this be a problem. He’s spent years carefully keeping his emotions at bay, keeping his feelings for Andrew tucked away the best he can. On the few occasions that they’ve escaped, he’s always been able to come up with a reasonable excuse, always been able to explain them away as a bit for an episode or the result of one glass of wine too many.

As much as it aches to swallow them down now, he’ll be damned if he’s going to let them slip out on today of all days.

Leaving his desk behind, he heads across the compound until he reaches the studio where Eating Your Feed is filming. He can hear laughter leaking out through the door, and part of him wants to slip inside, wants to watch his friends having fun, wants to watch Andrew having fun. Part of him wants to simply memorize the smile that’s no doubt gracing Andrew’s face, wants to keep it close to his chest so that he’ll have it on the long nights between now and the next time he comes into town.

But, as nice of a memento that would be, it would also hurt, having that smile living in his mind but not being able to access the real thing, and while Steven may be many things, he’s not that much of a masochist.

So instead, he leans back against the wall opposite the studio and distracts himself with his phone while he waits for filming to finish up. Thankfully, he only has to wait about twenty minutes before the door opens, and Niki and Rie come out. He says yet another round of goodbyes to them, and they’re just heading down the corridor when Adam, Annie and Andrew come out as well.

“Ready for dinner?” Adam asks.

“Whenever you are. Do you guys wanna change first?” Adam and Annie shake their heads, but Andrew nods emphatically.

“Yeah, please. That room is way too hot.”

“That room is the perfect temperature,” Annie responds, deadpan. “You just sweat more than any human being should.”

Andrew shrugs. “You’re not wrong. Meet you guys out in the parking lot.”

Adam is the only one of them who drove in today (Steven sold his car last week, and Andrew’s is in the shop), so they wait by his car, leaning against the hood and talking about how the shoot had gone. The evening looks like it’s going to be a beautiful one; the sun has begun to slip towards the horizon, still providing illumination but with less of the heavy heat that’s been sitting low over the city for the last few weeks, and there’s not a cloud in the sky, no sign of any rain that might put a wash on the evening.

Really, he couldn’t have asked for a better last night.

But that’s before Andrew comes out of the building.

At the sight of him, the words Steven was planning on saying to Adam and Annie die in his throat. Andrew’s plain white t-shirt is gone, replaced with a black button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing the cords of his forearms and the watch strapped around his wrist. It looks like he ran water through his hair as well; it’s slicked over to one side, flyaways tamped down for the time being, although Steven wouldn’t be surprised if they reappeared soon.

Simply put, even though there’s nothing particularly new or unique about the outfit, nothing out of the ordinary, Andrew looks amazing, and Steven suddenly feels like this is a horrible idea. He feels like he should come up with an excuse, any excuse, to get out of dinner, because this is going to be painful. This is going to hurt more than he’s prepared to deal with.

But it’s too late to back out. Andrew has already reached the car, and Adam has dug his keys from the depths of his pocket. If Steven were to flee now, he’d be hurting his friends, and he wants that like he wants a hole in the head.

So, with his heart heavy in his chest, he slides into the back beside Andrew, tries not to catch the scent of Andrew’s cologne (and fails), and attempts to portion off the part of his brain that has a thing for Andrew, that has had a thing for him pretty well from the first day they met.

&.

Remarkably, he manages to keep himself under control for almost the entirety of dinner.

They keep the conversation light, turned away from the real reason they’re there. They talk about work and movies and the amazing food in front of them, about Andrew’s new cat and Adam and Annie’s new apartment, but they do not talk about the move.

Nor do they talk about the fact that there’s something between Andrew and Steven, something hovering between them like an unseen fifth person, something that has Steven’s nerves pulled taut.

The tables at the restaurant are not unreasonably small, but somehow, Steven finds himself repeatedly brushing against Andrew. When they move to grab a piece of cutlery or their respective glasses of wine, their arms touch, and it feels like fire singing Steven’s skin. Even when they’re eating, Andrew’s knee keeps bumping against Steven’s.

But even more so than that, Steven can feel Andrew staring at him, almost from the very moment they sit down. Andrew’s gaze has always heavy, borderline overbearing, but Steven thought that he’d become accustomed to it, that he’d become adept at shaking the weight of it off like it was no more than a feather.

Apparently not.

It has to be obvious to Adam and Annie, but neither of them say a word or draw any attention to it. What they do do, however, is conveniently excuse themselves to the washroom once they’re finished up with their meals, leaving Steven with no way out and nothing to focus on.

Nothing but Andrew.

He knows that something is going to happen; it has to. Something has to happen, something has to pop the tension that’s coiling tight around his chest like a predatory snake, threatening to take every inch of breath he has. If something doesn’t happen, he’ll suffocate.

“I can’t believe it’s tomorrow,” Andrew says quietly. His knee is pressed against Steven’s again. Steven is looking at Andrew’s scraped clean plate, but in his peripheral vision, he can see Andrew tilting his head to look at him. He can feel Andrew’s gaze on him. “I thought…” Andrew pauses for a moment, and his fingers momentarily twitch on the clean white linen of the tablecloth. “I don’t know. I thought we were gonna have more time, you know?”

“Andrew…” Steven doesn’t intend on letting the word leave his mouth, but it exits all the same, hangs heavily in the air between them, as visible as a gaudy ornament on a Christmas tree. Now that it’s out in the open, he can feel himself tiptoeing towards the road he promised himself he wouldn’t go down, for both of their sakes.

But then again, would it really be so bad? Would it really be so bad if, underneath the warm-toned lighting of the restaurant, surrounded by the peaceful murmur of other patrons and faint string music, he simply confessed everything? If he finally told Andrew everything that’s been filling his mind, to some degree or another, for the past few years?

He could finally say I love you. I’ve loved you for so long. He could finally say, I think we could make a life together, or you make me feel safe, or you make me want to stay.

Or maybe he could simply look up from the table, catch Andrew’s unwavering eye, and finally kiss him, the way he’s dreamed about for literal years.

Would that be so bad?

The answer, of course, is yes.

Even though the words ache to spill from his lips, even though he is fairly certain that his feelings would be reciprocated, throwing all of that on Andrew now, the night before he leaves, feels like a special kind of disrespect. It feels completely and utterly selfish.

It feels cruel.

If there’s one thing Andrew doesn’t deserve, it’s cruelty.

“Yes?” Andrew says. His fingers have moved to Steven’s side of the table, and they’re curled into the thick fabric of the tablecloth. There’s a hopeful note in his voice, something that almost makes Steven reconsider, makes him say screw it and lean in anyways.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he mutters, “Never mind. I forget what I was going to say.” He flicks his eyes away from Andrew’s fingers and back to his own plate, where he spears a noodle and shoves it into his mouth.

Even though the sauce is exploding with flavor, decadent and creamy, he can barely taste it over the sour taste flooding through his mouth.

Adam and Annie return moments later, and after settling their bills, they step back out into the night. The evening has grown cool, and there’s a stiff breeze that makes a chill run down Steven’s spine, breaking through the uncomfortable warmth that’s been stifling him ever since his aborted confession.

“Want a lift home?” Adam asks once they’re outside. “Or to the airport tomorrow? I can come pick you up.”

Adam’s companionship would probably beat the hell out of an Uber driver, but Steven’s decision to shake his head is twofold: he doesn’t want to drag Adam out of bed that early, and he knows that if Adam comes, so will Andrew, and Steven isn’t sure he could deal with going through yet another goodbye.

If he has to do that, he thinks his willpower might finally snap.

“I’ll be fine,” he answers. “But I’ll let you all know when I land tomorrow, alright?”

“You better,” Annie responds, pulling him into a quick hug. Adam follows up, grabs him tight and thumps him on the back hard enough to make Steven cough with surprise. After he steps away, he glances over at Andrew.

“What about you, Drew? Want a lift home?”

“That’d be great, actually. Be there in a second.” While Adam and Annie drift over towards the car, Andrew comes to stand in front of Steven. There’s no escaping his eyes now, nowhere Steven can look that won’t make it painfully obvious that he’s avoiding eye contact. Steeling himself with a deep breath, he glances from Adam and Annie to Andrew.

The breath does almost nothing to prepare himself for the depth of emotion written in Andrew’s eyes, on his face. It’s not quite sadness; if anything, it might be closer to regret, tinged with a bit of weariness.

Steven is willing to bet that he’s probably wearing a similar expression.

Without warning, Andrew pulls him into a tight hug, and Steven’s walls temporarily fall down. He fully melts against Andrew, wraps his arms around his neck and hauls him in close, until he can feel Andrew’s broad chest expanding against his own. This close, he can smell Andrew’s cologne, along with a hint of wine from dinner, and he knows that smell is going to transfer onto his own clothes, that it might very well be the first thing he smells when he wakes up in the morning.

“You can always talk to me, you know,” Andrew murmurs. The words brush warmly against the side of Steven’s neck. “Doesn’t matter what time it is. I’ll always answer, Steven.”

“I know.” The words have to traverse a lump in Steven’s throat in order to leave his mouth. “I’ll reach out if I need anything. I promise.”

“Good.”

They stay like that for a few more moments, fully wrapped around each other, Steven’s mind empty of any thought that doesn’t directly relate to how wonderful Andrew feels pressed up against him. Eventually, Andrew’s grip slackens, and Steven loosens his own arms in anticipation of stepping away.

Andrew steps back first, and as he moves away, he turns his head and brushes his lips against Steven’s temple.

It’s too gentle to be much of a kiss, but gentle or not, Steven feels it as viscerally as a punch to the jaw, and it’s all he can do to keep himself from reeling backwards, from simply dropping to the ground.

“Have a safe flight,” Andrew says, cheeks faintly tinged pink. “I’ll see you soon?”

Steven can’t speak. All he can do is nod, so overwhelmed with the urge to lurch forward and kiss Andrew that it physically hurts to restrain himself. With a slight smile, Andrew turns and walks over to Adam’s car.

It’s only after he clambers inside that Steven starts breathing again. As soon as he takes in a deep breath, warmth starts pricking at the corners of his eyes, and he refocuses all his energy on keeping that warmth from spilling over.

He’s successful up until the moment he gets through his front door.

From that point on, there’s no stopping it.

+++

He can’t see the terminals yet, but LAX is still looming before him, present in the freeway signs overhead and the sight of planes taking off, disappearing into the sky.

He glances down at where his phone is resting in his lap. It’s still too early for Andrew to be up, but Steven can’t help but play with the idea of texting him, of saying something.

But what would he say? Everything that he wants to say is too long to be distilled down to a single text message, or even a string of them. He supposes that he could just say that he’s sorry, but that isn’t nearly enough. It’s not good enough. Not good enough for Andrew, who deserves nothing less than the entire world and all the joy in it.

Maybe one day, he’ll tell Andrew. Maybe one day, the spires of New York will no longer feel like home, and he’ll come back for good to the smog and sun of LA. Maybe he’ll come back, ready to spill everything, ready and willing to tell Andrew absolutely everything.

But maybe, by that point, Andrew won’t want to hear those words. Maybe he’ll have found someone else. Maybe he’ll have simply moved on, the distance between them, despite Steven’s occasional jaunts home, having killed off whatever exists between them. Maybe the distance will have killed or, at the very least, quieted everything that Steven is feeling right now.

With one last glance at the screen, Steven pockets his phone and sighs.

As painful as the thought may be, for the sake of both his own happiness and Andrew’s, he really, truly hopes that that ends up being the case.

[saeranlover]

Ummm am I allowed to make a request? I'd love to see you write a vanderwood story where he's shipped with MC! You could do anything that you want with it if you want or you don't even hve to take the request if you don't want to

Ahh, I don’t write stuff for Vanderwood often… It’s hard to get a completely solid grasp of his personality at times, but I thought I would give it a go for you, anon~

Oh and I posted it on AO3, ‘cause I was pretty happy with how it turned out~

The RFA party was infull swing, and you had been asked by Jumin to go about, introduceyourself to the guests, and ask how they were feeling with the party.It was a relief for you, as after spending eleven days in astranger’s apartment with only the same five (occasionally six)people to speak to, it was wonderful to be able to properlysocialise.

As you werestrolling around, you couldn’t help but notice that Seven wasslightly on edge, glancing around and tugging at his shirt’scollar. His glasses had slightly steamed up as he appeared to besweating, and his neatened hair was starting to return to it’stypical dishevelled state as he kept running his hand through it. Itworried you greatly, seeing one of the most cheerful and upbeatmembers of the RFA in such a panic.

With a concernedfrown on your face, you approached him and flicked his foreheadlightly to make him snap to attention. “Hey hey, God Seven…What’s the matter with you? Lost your chips?” You hoped thatjoking around would be enough to bring forth a grin and a joke inreturn, but… you were given a quiet sigh.

“If only… I justdidn’t get much sleep last night and it’s pretty busy in here…Hah… It feels almost like somebody is keeping an eye on me…”

“You didn’tsleep? Well it’s no wonder that you feel like that! You’reprobably hallucinating, Mister ‘lolololol let’s hack until Idrop’.”

Seven’s lip turnedup at one of the corners slightly, before he pulled his glasses offand gave them a quick wipe. “Yep… Probably…” He thencarefully placed his glasses back onto his nose, before he finallyput on his trademark grin. “Butdon’t worry about me! I shall rejuvenate with the power of PhDPepper!”

OnceSeven had quickly made his presence scarce, you began to return toyour previous task of speaking to the guests. By this point, many ofthem had gravitated towards where Zen had started singing, so youdecided to focus on those who weren’t fluttering around the musicalactor. From the corner of your eye, there was one guest who caughtyour attention in particular, so you went over to him.

Hewas… Well, he seemed to be silently scanning the crowds, as thoughhe was trying to look for somebody. Despite that, he seemed to beaware of your presence beside him. “It’s rude to stare. Can’tyou find somebody else to hassle…?”

“I-I was staring? I’m so sorry… I was just in the middle of speakingto guests, so I thought I would speak to you too… Are you lookingfor somebody?” You then awkwardly followed his eyes as they stoppedmoving, and confusion filled your face. “Are you looking forLuciel? Are you one of theguests which he forwarded to me?”

Theman began to lean against a wall, and rolled his eyes. “You couldsay that, yes… But what I am doing here is of none of yourbusiness, Miss-” He fell silent, and suddenly reached out for yourwrist. “Wait… You’re her. Apartmentlady which he stopped working over…” His voice was hushed but atthe same time seemed somewhat hostile, before he quickly beganwalking somewhere… still keeping a firm grasp of your arm.

“Excuseme, but- But guests aren’t allowed that way-!”

“Well,it’s a good thing that I’m not aguest.” You then began to panic then – a man who was nota guest, somehow gotinto the party, and knew Sevenhad hold of you, and was dragging you somewhere! No wonderSeven was on edge, he must have knew that this person was here-!“Hmm… Things should be quiet here. Now…” He let go of yourwrist once he had pulled you into a storage room filled with seats,letting you slightly stumble forward into one of the unstable stacks.

Beforeyou could pull yourself up properly, there was a slight noisebehind you. “What do you know of Agent 707’s work, MC? I knowthat you’re the whole reason he’s been neglecting his tasks –I’ve been made to keep an eye on you when I had to force him to getit done. How did you become associated with him?”

Youslowly turned around, and instinctively raised your arms slightly atthe sight of the taser which was being pointed at you. “H- How doyou know my name…?” A slight tremble began to take over your bodyas the dim light of the room meant that you could only really see theweapon, the man’s silhouette, and narrowed eyes.

“Theexact same way that I know that you joined the RFA by convenientlystumbling into an apartment which was meant to be a secret, that youare very thorough with cleaning that dusty old place, that you have atendency to wake up at 3am, and eat some rubbish food at timesprobably because you were stuck in that apartment for almost twoweeks. Oh, and that you wear some very nice outfits- Wait wait wait…This isn’t about that… This is about what you know of 707’swork. It’s your turn to speak, MC.”

Youblinked slightly at the plethora of knowledge which this man knew ofyou, before gulping. “I- I know that it’s meant to be dangerousbut he never says what it is-” Then you thought… Seven hadmentioned a good few times about the lone person who was allowed intohis home, and he had asked to keep an eye on the apartment security…“And… That you’re probably that ‘Mary Vanderwood the 3rd’he speaks of… His… maid? That’s stupid…”

Vanderwoodraised an eyebrow, before lowering his weapon. “Well he definitelycalls me a maid at times… And at least I know that you possess somesense, in knowing how idiotic that is. Tch.” Hethen folded his arms, and leaned back against the door. “So, atleast I know that you’re not much ofa threat… I wouldn’t want to have to eliminate somebody like you.It’s not often you meet like-minded, nice, and somewhat… goodlooking people…”

Why on earth wasyour face heating up?! He had just spoke about the fact that he couldhave killed you there and then, but you were blushing atthe complements?!

“God,is the light in here any better? Where are those switches to turnthem on… Oh, and don’t think of trying to run, I still have moreto ask you.” Eventually, more lights began to turn on as you heardthe click of the switches, which made you bite your lip as Vanderwoodreturned his attention to you. “Now… How do I know that you’renot going to tell people about this if I let you leave? And… areyou overheating in here?”

Youthen realised that your face was still bright red, so frantically,you sat down on a chair not stacked up, and covered your face throughembarrassment… starting the red-face cycle all over again. However,you felt his hand rest on the top of your head, alongside him givingoff a quiet sigh. “God, calm down… Take your time, we’veprobably got a good few minutes before 707 finds us here.”

Afterabout a minute of pulling yourself together, you took a deep breathand movedyour hands away from your face. “I wouldn’t tell… I- I promisethat I wouldn’t… I’d even let you watch over me if it means youknow that I won’t say anything…”

“Hmm…Well, that’s an interesting proposition… But that would interferein my work.It’s bad enough that I have to act like 707’s parent, and havehad to spend a lot of time watching you on security footage…” Hethen stepped back once more, before scowling. “Maybe I could keepyou with me… That would work… It would also make 707 get his workdone, knowing that you’re-”

Thedoor suddenly swung open, and there was a loud sigh. “Wow, MC! Youreally shouldn’t disappear like-!” You saw Seven stood in thedoorway, his eyes wide as he mouthed ‘Vanderwood’. “O- Oh, MC,I see you’ve met my maid, Mary! Haha, getting some cleaning advicefrom her-?!”

“Iknow that his nameis Vanderwood, Seven. And that calling him a maid just because youtend to slack off is a bit stupid… And according to Vanderwood, I’mactually pretty good at cleaning, based on what he saw me do inRika’s apartment.”

Sevenseemed a bit overwhelmed and confused at this strange meeting of bothyou and his colleague, andthe colour drained from his face when Vanderwood pulled you up toyour feet, and took hold of your shoulders from behind you. “Yes,she’s a pretty good woman… It’s a shame she works a lot harderthan you, agent. And also a shame that she’s mine now, as she’stoo much of a risk to the agency.”

His?!What was he even talking about…?

Beforeyou could question anything, Yoosung suddenly appeared in thedoorway, out of breath as he looked between you and Seven. “Thereyou two are! Everyone was getting worried because both of you wentmissing!” Yoosung was his typical cheerful self as he then ran overto you, and looked at Vanderwood who was still holding onto you.“Ooh, who is this, MC?”

Beforeyou could even think ofa response, Vanderwood had started speaking. “I couldn’t help butcome to the party to speak to MC, it’s scary when your girlfriendgoes missing for eleven days… We just wanted a bit of time to catchup alone, isn’t that right, dear?” Your eyes widened at theexcuse he had come up with to say instead of ‘I work with Seven’…He said that you were his girlfriend?!

“Aww,cute! We should leave them alone then, Seven! Come on, there’s somechips waiting for us in the main hall!”

“Yes,you two had better getlost… You don’t wantto get all embarrassed near us lovebirds, do you?” He then tookhold of your chin and turned your head back towards him, andmoved his lips close to yours. However, he whispered something to youquickly. “Play along,and I will keep your presence a secret from the agency…”

Youslightly nodded, before you were caught by surprise anyway as hesuddenly kissed youto keep up his act, waiting for Yoosung to leave and for Seven toback off slightly horrified by the unfolding scenes. As soon as theywere gone, you were out of breath and even more flustered thanpreviously as you quickly put distance between yourself andVanderwood.

“Wh-What was that for?! C- Calling me your girlfriend, and kissing me?!”

“Firstthing I thought of. Can’t blame me though… Anyone would be luckyto have a woman such as yourself.”

[ineffablecolors]

New Tales from the Old Forest [4/?]

To mark the beginning of December properly I have something new for this verse. Whether you enjoyed this last December as part of my 'Tis The Season series, found it later on or are just now stumbling upon it - I hope this starts off your holiday fanfic endeavors just right (I sure hope it does the same for mine 'cause I have plans for this fic).

Happy beginning of Christmas and welcome back to New Tales from the Old Forest!

New Tales from the Old Forest; ~ 2, 800 words; FF.NET || AO3

Using the gorgeous banner @katie-dub created for me once upon a time! :*

She stomps back to her car through five feet of snow, feeling the coldness slither in through the zipper and the little hole on the inner side of her left boot. Wet socks. The last thing Emma Swan needs at 8 pm on the 24th of December.

Henry is in the backseat where she left him 15 minutes ago, his fingers moving rapidly over the screen of his phone now that it is too dark for him to be reading his book. 

Emma sighs at the memory of that Golden Age of 15 minutes ago. Back when hope and excitement and that warm fuzzy feeling that she had been making tentative friends with over the last year had kept her from realizing exactly how fucking cold and windy the coast of Maine was in the smack-dab middle of winter. Yes, her nerves had been pulled pretty tight back then but not like this. Not like now.

15 minutes ago it felt like Dasher, Dancer... Patter? Pranter? Ugh. All of Santa's prats of reindeer were making her insides their new holiday runway. Led by that Cupid bastard. 

That’s it. She is blaming it all on some freaking Christmas reindeer possession or... yeah, that sounds good.

Because there is no way she would be in this situation, if she was in possession of all her faculties. Nope, no way. This situation is exactly the kind of situation that Emma Swan is an expert at avoiding. Or she was. A year ago.

And yet. Here she is. At 8:07 pm now, on the freaking 24th of freaking December, with a trunk full of presents, a 11-year-old in the backseat and three Americanos buzzing through her system.

In Storybrooke, fucking Maine, in front of Killian fucking Jones' house. His very dark. Very empty house. 

How did she end up here again?

Oh, yeah.

///

It's official. Emma Swan is a moron. An absolute fucking idiot. It takes exactly 2 days, 1 hour and oh, 20 or so minutes after Killian kissed her goodbye and got into his cab to the airport for- 

It’s the middle of February and it's not freezing or anything but the wind is giving a vicious whipping to any and all skin she was foolish enough to leave exposed. And she would like nothing more than to take Killian's hand - his very gloveless, very cold hand - and squeeze them into the cab waiting in front of her apartment (yes, they had dinner at her apartment and she royally screwed it up and what else is new in Emma Swan’s world).

But Henry is waiting for her inside, hopefully (but highly unlikely after an evening spent in Killian's presence) already in bed and she has a honey trap to set tomorrow and her homework to do before that and a drive to the airport and back really doesn't sound that appealing.

So instead she sways a little on her feet and quirks up an eyebrow and says she'll get him a calendar for next time and she lets him pull her in so that she kinda steps on his toes but also ends up with his lips on the corner of her mouth. She lets her hands frame his face and regrets the long coat that she was so grateful for a moment ago because she can barely feel his hand on her waist through the thick wool. She opens her mouth and tastes her Bechamel sauce (which is sadly inferior to her Bolognese). She sighs into him and digs her nose into his cheek when he goes to pull back. She plays with the soft part of his left ear and makes him kiss her again, less tongue, more teeth, more pressure and the very first licks of regret for not taking this further when she had the chance. She lets him let her go and get into the cab. And she waves when he is already almost out of sight.

It takes exactly 2 days, 1 hour and oh, 25 minutes or so now after Killian kissed her goodbye and got in his cab to the airport for those licks of regret to become a full-on raging fire of 'Emma Swan is an absolute fucking idiot for not banging Killian Jones when she had the chance’.

///

 It's official. Killian Jones is an idiot. A complete and utter bonehead. It takes precisely one solid night of sleep and two days without hearing from Emma for him to realize that.

Of course, he heard from Henry but he highly doubts that Emma knows that and that… well…

"How how did you manage to mess that up?"

Killian scrubs his good hand down his face and tries to blink his eyes properly open. Getting in at 'I don't want to look at the clock 'cause my head knows I won't like what I see' o'clock and getting up for a meeting with Regina the next morning (because some people know how to tell days and some other people are too stubborn to admit their stupidity and ask for a re-schedule) is really not conductive to him being ship-shape in the late afternoon.

Which, unfortunately, is when Henry gets home from school and wants to know precisely why Killian showed up at Emma's door two hours after him on the 15th of February.

"I assure you, lad, I keep asking myself the same thing."

"I convinced my teacher to organize a Valentine's Day sleepover just so you guys can have a...." Henry stammers a bit here and if Killian was more awake, he'd be able to tell if it's the light in his room or the boy is actually blushing. "You know... grown-ups sleepover.."

He... does not know what he is supposed to say to that. What would Emma want him to say to that? What would he tell his own son, if he-

"Well, unplanned as it was, I'm glad that my miscalculation-"

Henry snorts at that but Killian chooses to ignore it.

"-meant I got to spent time with both your mother and you."

Yeah, that… that was nice. Talking to Henry always is. Nice and rejuvenating and inspiring and life-reaffirming and many other things that Killian will keep to himself so that he doesn’t completely freak out the poor boy.

His mother however is a whole different ballgame. Obviously. Would be concerning, if she wasn’t…

He is losing his bloody mind. It has been scattered all over ever since he got back but now that he’s had a good night’s rest, it’s even worse. Because now he gets to think about it. His little impromptu surprise. He gets to think and analyze and rationalize and all those things he knows make his characters compelling on page but make his own life bloody miserable on practice.

And the more he thinks about it, the more he wants to get up and go bang his head against the tiles in his bathroom.

What the hell was he thinking?!

Flying over on Valentine’s Day? Showing up a day late with a bloody bouquet of bloody paper flowers. Paper flowers! Lord, could he be more of a walking cliché? At least he left the poem attempts on his desk where they are merrily mocking him right now.

What did Emma do on Valentine’s Day (the actual day, bloody buggering-)? She simply called him.

“Of course she did, she is a bloody normal person, who hasn’t spent the last seven years in minimum contact with humanity.”

He remembers the obvious surprise on her face when he showed up on her doorstep. Even after he had blurted out his plans to her over Skype the night before. Perhaps even after that she didn’t expect him to show up. Perhaps she thought he was a somewhat normal and well-functioning person.

“Well, joke’s on her, ain’t it?”

He remembers her slight discomfort at having him in her apartment – her eyes darting this way and that way, her hand aborting its movement as she reached to brush something off his shoulder.

He remembers Henry’s shock at his arriving just after he had gotten home himself – the way his eyes grew wide – surprise and then glee (bless the lad’s pure heart, not finding anything weird about him just showing up on their doorstep at 11 in the morning).

He remembers the awkwardness at trying to figure out what to do now that they were obviously spending the day together – movies seemed too time-wasting, skating seemed like too much activity, a simple walk seemed aimless and why was this so bloody hard, he had been talking to both of them on the regular for over a month.

He remembers other things too. Still feels them rather. He feels the brush of her fingers as she handed him a cup of coffee while listing places in New York City that had good coffee. He feels the brush of her shoulder against his as they walked down a narrow sidewalk and he struggled to always stay on her right. He feels her breath just below his ear where it tickled him every time she leaned to supply any crucial information that he might need to comprehend the infinite amount of school stories that Henry seemed to be set on regaling him with. He feels the way their couch bounced as the lad dropped next to him, while Emma was getting dinner ready, and broke his words-per-minute record again, this time asking Killian for stories from book signings and the casting for the movie and everything else that he imagines any self-proclaimed ‘fan’ will eventually lose the battle with trying to keep locked inside.

And then he remembers the expression on her face. The utter horror that washed over when she realized that she’d prepared a steak dinner for a one-handed man.

It’s been years. It’s not… well, it’s never not a shock but it’s not a surprise anymore. When he discovers something new, something old that he can’t do anymore. Of course, he came across the fork and knife issue a long time ago – has it mostly figured out by this point.

Funny how he didn’t see this new thing coming – disappointing the girl you like. It probably has something to do with the fact that he hasn’t actually liked a girl in the time he has been operating with one hand. Not like that. Not a girl like that.

And she seems beyond embarrassed or annoyed or worried, she seemed on a whole other plane, holding court with herself over the soundness of her decision. Whether the one to make steak for dinner or to let him into her house (her life) – Killian really isn’t sure he wants to know, even while his brain insists on probing and guessing and analyzing and basically bloody torturing him.

“You should just let mom cut it for you. I always do. Steak is a bitch.”

“Henry! Language.”

“Sorry. Steak is a pain.”

The lad’s expression is so droll, it somehow manages to make him chuckle and draw him out of his plans to just spear the steak on his fork and risk doing his best impersonation of the dining scene from Beauty and the Beast. 

And then he remembers the pinkness of her nose in the cold evening air and the press of her warm tongue so in contrast with that chilly little nose and the way she seemed to shuffle into him every time he considered pulling back and the almost wistful glow in her eyes when he finally did.

He remembers something and reaches for his phone and then he remembers another and drops it like it’s burning his only remaining fingers.

And that’s how 2 days pass. And then another 2. And then a week.

And during the second week he starts reaching for it less and less because it doesn’t really take that much thinking and analyzing to figure out what it means that she hasn’t called him either.

///

 Henry is no fool. He knows that they are being idiots. He knows they probably had one of those ‘possible True Love alert’ moments that all of Killian’s True Love couples have at some point in the books and probably got all freaked out because he can’t remember his mom dating anybody like ever and Killian doesn’t look like he even knows how to use the word ‘date’ correctly.

The problem is that Henry has no one to bet against on who will break first.

The bigger problem is that he has no one to help him figure out when he should stop humouring them and step in.

///

 She is high on life. Yup, Emma Swan is actually feeling pretty damn good about herself for once.

She caught her perp with minimum effort for a maximum paycheck. Henry got an A on the art project she helped him prepare. There is a new pizza place down the street and it is divine. Her kid has great taste and chose her favourite Indiana Jones movie for tonight and then promptly went to bed after it with almost no whining at all.

Oh, and she is having a great hair day.

Realistically it’s probably not much. But dammit, Emma feels good about herself. She feels good enough to pick up her phone and hit Killian Jones’ name. More impressive yet, she feels good enough not to hang up as it starts ringing.

For once she feels good enough to shut up the thought of ‘well, he was obviously just trying to get into your pants and then that didn’t happen so it’s-

“Swan?”

She almost swallows her fucking tongue. Literally. And people actually do that. And Emma thinks she might have a slight phobia of swallowing her tongue. And why is she thinking about that now?

“Emma?”

“Are you afraid of swallowing your tongue?”

“Are- I beg your pardon?”

Pillow in the corner of the couch, meet Emma’s face.

“Emma?”

“Yup. Hey. Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry. I mean… Well, no, I just… Umm…”

“Swan, I-“

“Did we break up?”

Pillow, kindly suffocate Emma to death.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Stop begging and actually answer one of my questions!”

“Right. Sorry. I am. Sorry. I’m very sorry, love. We did not break up. I mean, if we are- If you thought we were- Not that I didn’t- I mean- Bloody hell!”

“Yeah, I thought we were.”

“Right. Good. That’s… me too. So we still are. We didn’t, we definitely didn’t break up.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Pillow, muffle any whiny sounds Emma might make.

“I just wanted to give you some time… space.”

“We live in different cities.”

“Right. I just wasn’t sure how happy you were about me just showing up in yours.”

“What?!”

“Well, I… well…”

Pillow, try not to die while Emma takes out her frustrations on you, you were kinda expensive.

“Killian, I… OK, I’m sorry, if I wasn’t... I just… No guy has spent time with me and Henry and had dinner with us and all that jazz.”

“Oh. Alright. I guess… I didn’t think you might have… not been seeing anyone for awhile as well.”

“No, I mean… never.”

“Never?”

“I mean, I have- of course, but… No one’s ever spent the day with us like that. Ever.”

“And I made you.”

“What? No. I mean- I- we wanted you to. I would’ve told you not to come, if I didn’t. I… I didn’t think it went that bad. I mean, I-”

“No. No, it didn’t! It was… I had a lovely time, Emma, I just…”

“Right. Well, me too.”

“That’s good. Good, we both enjoyed spending some time together.”

“Sounds like it.”

“That’s…”

Pillow, sorry for being catapulted across the room as Emma finally allows herself to fist-pump the air at Killian's quiet chuckle.

“So what was the other question?”

“Huh?”

“We’ve established that we haven’t broken up. So what was the other question that I was supposed to answer?”

“Oh. Uhhh… Oh, oh! Aren’t you afraid of swallowing your tongue? I don’t mean like getting tongue-tied but like literally swallowing your tongue. Just like-“

///

 He gets finding her on the couch. He gets the dead phone. He gets the empty cup of coffee. He gets the tangled hair and slight smile.

But for the life of him Henry can’t explain the decorative pillow thrown half across the hallway.

///

 Right, ok, this is not exactly how she ended up in front of Killian Jones’ house on Christmas Eve but… we’re getting there.

‘Patience is a virtue’ as Killian would say.

The ass.

[tisfan]

I’ll Be Your Shelter

Stony Bingo Round #2 (BINGO! column filled!)

Third date

Coffee was an inspired idea for a first date.

First off, coffee. So, like duh!

Secondly, getting a cup of coffee could take 10 minutes, it could take half an hour, and certainly if expectations were exceeded, it could take most of the afternoon. There was pretty much no way that Tony could possibly date anyone who would object to spending a few hours at a coffee shop. Really, that was just not going to be possible.

And that had worked out reasonably well. He and Steve had gotten along pretty well. There was some chemistry going on, a little. (Okay, so Tony had about dropped his coffee when he got a look at his date. Holy hell, what good deed had he done in some previous life to deserve that?)

The first date was about making sure the other person wasn’t utterly abhorrent, so success there! But Tony hadn’t learned much, except that Steve preferred his coffee with sugar, but no milk, thought frappacinos sounded like something you should take an antibiotic for (Tony had about spit his coffee out when Steve said that) and that he had the fashion sense of a mushroom. Oh, and that he liked to run early in the morning. And he was stupidly good looking. And witty.

Steve had asked for, and planned, the second date.

Two was, statistically speaking, better than one. The second date, also standard issue… getting to know you dinner and a show.

Maybe they didn’t have a lot in common; Tony had taken note of the faint sneer when he listed off some heavy metal bands as favorites and his eyebrows had taken the scenic tour of his forehead when Steve’s favorite were all 1940s Big Band. And the temperature difference might cause some problems, down the road. Tony was sweating under his sport jacket, while Steve had pulled on a sweater halfway through the jazz concert.

It annoyed Tony that everyone thought jazz was a thing that people had to do in order to seem adult and sophisticated. He might not have been so disgruntled about it, except he happened to look over -- he was bored, all right? -- and saw Steve texting someone, complaining that he didn’t like jazz. Honestly, he wished more people would just like what they liked. Fucking own it!

Of course, even if the dates went well, it didn’t mean they’d end up living together and arguing about where the thermostat was set and what music they were going to listen to at dinner. That was putting the cart so far in front of the horse that it might run into the poor horse’s ass from the other side.

And that’s what Tony was; a horse’s ass, planning marriage and kids and a life together with a man he’d gone on precisely two dates with.

There was something there. Some zing. An interest. Had to be mutual. Sometimes people went on a second, pity date. But Tony asked for a third, and Steve had said yes fast enough that his words were in danger of getting a speeding ticket, so… something, right?

Or, so Tony was trying to convince himself as he held up outfit under outfit, trying to find just the right look to say, “Hey, you’re hot, and I’d like to bang you through the floor, and also raise babies with you” and at the same time not come across too desperate.

But that first kiss, after the show was over, that was worth putting up with some boring music, and maybe a little more effort to see if he could unearth the real Steve, instead of the “I’m trying to be cool” image that Steve was projecting. That first kiss was…

It was sometimes annoying to be a short man -- Tony could never lean in for a kiss and look casual about it. He always had to put extra effort. Especially with someone like Steve, who was 6’1” or so. And broad shouldered, which was nice, but at the same time, there was five inches of space between Tony’s mouth and Steve’s, which meant even bouncing up on his toes wasn’t going to cut it, if Steve didn’t come to the assist.

So, if this didn’t go well, Tony was going to look like an idiot and he was going to have to think of a way to politely cancel a third date that he’d asked for, and…

Steve leaned in and pressed his mouth to Tony’s. His lips were cool, firm, and smooth. Tony could feel the solid square of his teeth behind those closed lips and for just an instant, he thought Steve was going to pull back, having done the thing proper enough. Steve did seem like an old-fashioned type of guy, and maybe Tony should have waited until it was his date idea to go for the kiss, and maybe Steve was thinking Tony was a little fast, or something, and--

Oh, god.

Steve opened his mouth and then took possession of Tony’s with a subtle heat that took Tony’s breath away. His tongue slid inside, rubbed velvet slick against Tony’s teeth, along the inside of his cheek, licked at the roof of his mouth, and suddenly Tony’s hands were linked around Steve’s neck, holding on for dear life as Steve took Tony apart with his lips and tongue and the soft sounds of his breathing.

When they finally broke apart, Steve rested his forehead against Tony’s and said, soft and deep and dark, “I’ll see you on Friday, yeah?”

“Can’t wait.”

Tony checked his look, patted a few stray locks of hair into place and grabbed his sunglasses. Ready, steady.

Phone in his pocket, wallet, keys… great.

Drove out to pick up his date.

“So, what’s the plan?” Steve asked as he climbed into Tony’s car.

“Well, I have a backup plan if you don’t want to--” Tony hemmed a little bit, and Steve leaned in, kissed Tony’s mouth as if to make him stop babbling like an idiot, because that’s exactly what he was doing, and damn, Steve was going to have to rethink his tactics because if his idea of getting Tony’s brain to work included kissing him, pressed up against the door of his car until he could barely breathe, then Tony’s brain was going to be offline more often than not.

“I’m sure I’ll have fun,” Steve said, sitting back and buckling his seatbelt as if gravity on the planet had not just flipped around.

“Okay,” Tony said. He licked his lips, tasting Steve still on them. “Okay. So, uh… I have this friend, and she works for a rehoming shelter, and she needs some help, and I thought… if you know, you’re okay with it, we could take a few shelter dogs for a walk, cuddle some kittens, and then grab a cheeseburger and malt?”

Steve beamed at him, brilliant, blinding and wide. “That sounds like a great idea, Tony. I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”

Much, much later, when Tony was just getting ready to suggest that they move from the bed into the shower and get cleaned up before sleeping, Steve leaned up on one elbow and smiled. He traced a finger down the line of Tony’s face and ended at his lip. Tony ducked his chin and kissed the pads of Steve’s fingers.

Successful date, Tony was thinking, and then Steve said, “So, out of curiosity, what was your backup plan?”

Tony blinked, then, “Oh, art museum. You said you liked art, I was thinking--”

“Yeah,” Steve said, kissing Tony into stillness again. “Yeah, I like that idea. Let’s do that, for a fourth date.”

Crossover | Third Date | Outsider POV | Sharing Clothes | Kink: Sex Pollen 

[puddingmcmuffin]

For the minific ask: B'arzz and the green scarab, and your pick between D or N. n.n

Not only is this really, really late, but it’s also probably a lot longer than it should be. Also I couldn’t decide to go with D or N for the theme, so it ended up being a bit of both?

D: Subtle kindnesses/ N: The color green

“Whydo we not return to Mars, B'arzz O'oomm?”

Thescarab’s question made B'arzz blink in surprise. ‘Even with the Reachgone, the planet Earth is not as safe as it should be,’ he answeredthrough their private mind link. 'Our abilities can be put to gooduse in assisting the Justice League and defending Earth.’

B'arzzshifted to camouflage as a car passed by on the street below. Despitethe several months since the Reach had been defeated and subsequentlybanished from Earth, there were still many among the population whowere against the idea of both him and Jaime being allowed to stay. Infact, more and more seemed to be swayed by G. Gordon Godfrey’s wordsevery day, and more and more people wanted both beetles Blue andGreen to be removed as well.

B'arzzglanced behind as the car turned a corner and left his sight. Eventhough it was very late at night (or perhaps very early in themorning) and B'arzz was crouched on the roof of a small building, thegreen scarab armor was flashier than B'arzz would have liked, and nowwas not the time to be sporting anything related to Reach. B'arzzturned his attention back to the office building he and Superboy’steam were staking out.

“Ithas been five Earth months since the Reach were exiled, and evenlonger still since you were brought here, B'arzz O'oomm. Surely noone would object if you told them you wished to leave,”said the scarab.

'Ihave no pressing matters that need attending to,’ said B'arzz. 'Andafter all, staying on Earth makes it easier for the Green Lanterns tokeep an eye on us.’

“TheGreen Lanterns have had sufficient proof of this scarab’sindependence from the Reach. This scarab does not appreciate beingconstantly monitored.”

'Doit to ease their minds. They will eventually have more trust in us.’

“'Eventually’is an unsatisfactory estimate of time.”

B'arzzsighed, looking over the building again. Although he did understandthe reasoning for the lanterns’ caution, a part of him did agree withthe scarab: the proof of their loyalties should have been obvious bynow.

Achill breeze blew past him. It had been raining earlier, and now thetemperature was dropping drastically. The puddles on the pavementthat shimmered in the green of the traffic light were slowly turningsolid. If it continued this way, it would likely be dangerous on theroads in the morning.

'Headsup, team,’ said Superboy’s voice through the telepathic link. 'We’vegot two heading in on the north side.’

B'arzzbrought his attention back to the building, and saw that there wereindeed two figures making their way over. They were dressed in fullbody suits that covered them completely. The suits were black withwhat looked to be white smiles on the masks where the mouths were,and stripes that crossed in an X shape over their chests, the samepattern on each but alternating with the colors, one wearing morepurple and the other wearing more yellow. The two swiftly made theirway to the back of the building, beyond B'arzz’s view.

'WonderGirl, they’re headed towards you,’ said Superboy. 'Beast Boy, GreenBeetle, move in and block off that alleyway. I’ll come in from abovewith Sphere. Be ready when I give the word.’

—–

“Wellthatwas easier than expected,” said Wonder Girl, hands on her hips asshe looked down at the two men tied in her lasso. She looked over toSuperboy. “Why did we need to take care of this again?”

“Intergangis still having trouble getting back on their feet since they losttheir leaders; it’s in our best interest to keep them fromregrouping,” said Superboy.

“What’swrong, wonder brat?” one of the men asked.

“Arewe not good enough to for you to fight?” asked the other.

“Whatfight?” asked Wonder Girl. “You guys didn’t even last fiveminutes against us.”

“That’swhat you think, girl!” said the one wearing more yellow thanpurple. “But Rank and Riot’s criminal careers have only just begun!Trust me when I say that you will live to regret this night!”

“Rankand Riot?” asked Beast Boy. “Thoseare the names you’re gonna go with?”

“Isthere a problem with that?” asked the one wearing more purple thanyellow.

“It’sstupid,” said Beast Boy.

“You’restupid!”yelled the other man.

“Yeahokay,” said Wonder Girl, who looked back to Superboy. “So whatare we doing with these guys?”

“There’sa police station nearby,” said Superboy. “We’ll drop them offthere.”

“Isthat wise?” B'arzz asked. “Despite the little difficulty we hadin apprehending them, they do possess strength superior to an averagehuman. We may risk them running lose once more.”

“Yeah,cricket boy is right,” said Rank (or perhaps it was Riot). “We’renot to be underestimated; you should take this more seriously,kiddies.”

“I’llkeep that in mind,” Superboy answered as he looked back to B'arzz.“It’ll be fine; we’ll just need to make a call beforehand to makesure they have some inhibitor collars ready.”

“I’mnot into that,” said Riot (or maybe it was Rank).

“Willyou two be quiet already?” said Wonder Girl, exasperated.

“Indeed,”said B'arzz, his eyes suddenly glowing red. Rank and Riot went stifffor a moment as they stared at B'arzz, before they both slumped overin their restraints.

“Thisscarab would have done that earlier.”

“Theyare only unconscious, and should stay that way for a while,” B'arzzsaid to the team. “There should be plenty of time to get theinhibitor collars before they wake.”

“Soundsgood,” said Superboy, climbing on to Sphere. “Let’s go, team.”

WonderGirl hoisted Rank and Riot up, throwing them into the back seat ofthe super cycle before she jumped up and sat on the back edge.

B'arzzlooked back to the street as Beast Boy joined the others. Therainwater had fully solidified, and the roads were now covered insheets of ice. From the look of it, nothing had been done to preventit. The light at the intersection reflected off the ice, the normallyblack pavement now shining with green. It would definitely bedangerous by morning.

“Hey,Green!” called Beast Boy. “You coming?”

B'arzzlooked at him and shook his head. “My apologies,” he said. “Butthere is something I must attend to. I will meet you back atheadquarters.”

“Doingwhat?” Beast Boy asked. The question was an innocent one, and histone was not accusatory, unlike certain members of the team andleague who were monitoring him at every turn.

B'arzzopened his mouth to speak, but Superboy cut him off. “It’s fine,”he said. “Do what you need to and then get back.”

“Ofcourse,” said B'arzz, smiling. Superboy nodded in response, revvingthe super cycle and taking off, its sounds growing fainter as theyvanished into the dark sky.

—–

“Thereis no good in earning favor with this action when there is no one toobserve you doing it, B'arzz O'oomm,”said his scarab.

B'arzztsked. 'You have been too influenced by the Ambassador. Sometimespeople are willing to do things without the thought of personal gain.Or perhaps you feel that this is not a task worthy of our powers?’

B'arzzflew over the streets slowly, one arm stretched out as he used histelekinesis to break apart the ice that covered the majority of theroads, moving the pieces to the sides as he went past.

“Thatis not what this scarab meant.”

'Thenwhat did you mean?’

“Wehave gone above and beyond what was owed for our actions during theReach’s attempted invasion,”said the scarab. “Yougo too far for nothing in return.”

'Idon’t mind-’

“Pleasedo not try to lie to me, B'arzz O'oomm. You should know better thanthat.”

B'arzzhuffed. 'I realize that the situation is not ideal, but I wish tomake the best of it. I’ve told you; Mars is not in danger, and Earthhas use of our powers.’

“Doyou not miss the life you had before the Reach?”

B'arzzstopped. It had been some time since he had thought about his 'oldlife’, as it were. When he had been under the influence of the Reach,every other thought was dedicated to yearning for the life he hadonce had on Mars, but since his liberation, all of his time had beenconsumed by helping the team.

Thinkingon it now: yes, he did miss it. It had been a simple enough life,with his work as an 'archaeologist’, as the Earthlings would havecalled him. It was work that gave him little reward, as the majorityof the Martians cared little for the relics of the past, while therest only had a mild interest in his finds.

Andyet, it made him happy. It had given him a sense of purpose. Despitethe little influence he had in any aspect on his community, at timesalmost being a hermit while he dug in the caves, spending hours onend alone, he was happy to do it. And surely that was the mostimportant thing in life, was it not?

Thescarab stayed silent as he contemplated, then asked “areyou happy, B'arzz O'oomm?”The question sounded a bit harsher than the scarab had likelyintended, but it was to be expected; they were still learning, andteaching something like delicacy to one who had once been little morethan a machine was difficult.

B'arzzsighed. 'No,’ he said. 'I would be much happier if I could return toMars.’

“Andyou do not voice this because you fear the reaction of Earth’sheroes?”the scarab asked. “Youshould not feel this way; you saw tonight that there are those whotrust you. The Superboy, the Wonder Girl and the Beast Boy were notafraid to be around you or leave you to your own devices. The JaimeReyes and his scarab also understand the position we are in, as theyhave been under control of the Reach. Not everyone distrusts you.”

'TheGreen Lanterns would likely see it as suspicious,’ said B'arzz.'After going so long without mentioning it once, and then suddenlyrequesting to return home.’

B'arzzcould feel the irritation coming from the scarab when he mentionedthe lanterns. “TheGreen Lanterns have had sufficient proof of our loyalty. And surelyeven the Guy Gardner would understand the need to return to one’shome planet.”

'Ido not wish to cause unnecessary alarm, particularly when we have noidea what the Light is up to,’ said B'arzz. 'Until the situation onEarth is at a place that it is safe, I will not leave.’

“Thisplanet will never be truly 'safe’.”

'Thenwhen it is safe enough that I am not needed,’ B'arzz stated. He movedforward again, picking up where he left off with moving the ice fromthe road.

—–

Thescarab remained quiet for the rest of the time, leaving B'arzz toclear the rest of the roads in peace. If the temperature remained thesame or worsened, it was likely that the ice would solidify where hehad moved it. In that case, it could be a hazard for anyone who onlyneeded to cross the street.

'Perhapsthis was a mistake,’ B'arzz said, more to himself than the scarab.Maybe instead of just moving it, he should have gotten rid of the icealtogether. He mulled over what to do: perhaps he could use thescarab’s plasma cannon to destroy it. But then he might do damage tothe street and sidewalk below it, which would be difficult for humansto repair because of the cold weather. Maybe he should just gather itall, and simply move it to a place where people were not likely to bebothered by it. He began to fly higher, looking around for any sortof empty space that met that specification. Finding a place like thatmight be difficult; he’d likely need to travel a bit before-

“B'arzzO'oomm,”said the scarab. “Youhave done enough. Let us return.”

'ButI haven’t finished-’

“Itis enough,”said the scarab. “Yourdedication is admirable, but you have done more than enough to assistin this situation. We should leave now so that you may rest.”

'Thatwas not enough to wear me out, scarab,’ said B'arzz, scoffingslightly.

“Youwill wear yourself out if you do any more. What you have done isenough,” thescarab repeated. “Letit be.”

B'arzzlooked at the streets below him. With how high he was now, he hadn’trealized just how much he had done. There seemed to be more streetsthan he remembered clearing, and if he were to do any more, he mightvery well tire out, which would not do any good for him or the teamif there was any sort of emergency.

'Isuppose you’re right,’ B'arzz said finally. 'I should stop.’

Thescarab only hummed in agreement, and B'arzz flew higher, back towardsthe nearest Zeta-Tube.

'Thankyou, scarab,’ said B'arzz.

“Youare welcome, B'arzz O'oomm,”said the scarab. “Butthis scarab will admit that they still do not understand why youinsist on performing such actions.”

'Isee. And I assume you only stopped complaining because you wouldn’tbe able to change my mind?’ B'arzz asked, chuckling a bit.

“Inpart,”the scarab said. “Butit also seemed to make you happy.”

Itwas the second time the scarab surprised him that night. In a raremoment, B'arzz found himself not sure how to respond. But as he flewaway, he couldn’t keep himself from smiling.

[beelieveinfandom]

Haunted and Hunted - Chapter Two

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5               AO3 Link

AO3 is highly recommend do to formatting issues.

Charlie was tightly curled up in a cocoon of an old weighted blanket; it wasn’t terribly warm but at least the dense plastic filling wasn’t molding. Imprints were slowly forming where ze pushed zir face into one of the beady lumps. The pressure was nice, solid and real when nothing else could be. Zir breathing was harsh and irregular.

“So.” Vin was chest deep within a bean bag chair. “You’re having a field day with this, huh?”

 “Pardon?” Renee asked, looking up from the sweater she had been inspecting for holes.

 “Another kid from the same place they nabbed you from? There’s gotta be some deep and convoluted plot here, right? A proper scheme.”

“Not really.” She shrugged, resuming her sweater scrutinization. “It fits well into what I already suspected. Admittedly it is a little surprising for them to take a second child from the same locale so soon; I would think that such a tactic would attract more notice than they would want.”

 “Why would they care if it’s somewhat obvious?” Vin asked. “Even if someone was paying attention - and really why would they - who the hell’s gonna care about someone on the net accusing the Taskies of kidnapping poor preter kids?”

 “And I’m the one with the bleak worldview.”

 “I’ve never said that the world ain’t shit.” He leaned forward, resting his neck on the bulging pleather seat. “You’re just the one that chooses to spend all your time immersing yourself in the marinade of misery that is the specifics.”

 “You cannot dismantle a system if you don’t understand the specifics of how it operates.” Renee set her garment down and looked Vin in the eyes.

 “Renee, you’re a teenage eel fugitive. You cannot dismantle shit, regardless of what you understand.”

 She crossed her arms. “I don’t mean to say anything too revolutionary, but there is a high probability that I am going to metamorphosize into an adult someday.”

 Vin laughed. “Bullshit. Everything you say is meant to be revolutionary. You talk like your words are gonna rise up as soldiers.”

 “You can’t convince people to join your cause with silence.”

 “You can’t convince people to join you if any attempt to communicate will get you reabducted either.”

 “You know,” she fanned her fingers, “there is this strange mystical technique called ‘physical contact’ you can use to talk to people without everything being recorded, right?”

 “Right,” Vin crossed his arms under his neck. “Cause we’re totally going to just run into some sympathetic rando in the woods who either doesn’t have a screen on them or’s like, hacked that shit into not autoreporting A-class freaks from half a mile away.”

 “Hey,” she smiled, “I managed to convince you, didn’t I? Even with our conspiracy being formed within the sites of our captors.”

 “You didn’t convince me of shit.” His wings flapped and came to rest cupped around the beanbag. “This has all been purely out of self-interest.”

 Renee cocked an eyebrow. “Are you implying that no one else would have something to gain from obtaining liberation from an oppressive state?”

 “Most people got something to lose when things go wrong.” He shrugged his wing shoulders. “It’s not saying much that you recruited someone who had literally nowhere to go but up.”

 “I hardly see how your interests were furthered by saving a kid.”

 He shrugged again. “I was kinda assuming that the interests of the vague and ominous force that govern my vision aligned more directly with my own, honestly.”

 “If you could have known ahead of time,” Renee spoke slowly, “that we would ‘just’ be saving someone else, would you still have done it?”

 “Hey, we still don’t know that this is ‘just’ saving zir.” Vin pulled his elbows towards his chest and raised his head. “Not that I would have a problem with that if it is, it’s just… it easily could be that zir weird fire shit or whatever is going to be goddamn critical in the future. Like, what if we were to run into like, a whole fuckton of marshmallows or some shit. Just piled in the woods like you do. I don’t know about you, but I sure as fuck can’t just swivel sticks until they explode. I’d be end of the goddamn line there if we didn’t have Mx. Burny McFlamesflames over there.”

 “How many causal links ahead do you think your foresight is able to connect?”

 “How the fuck would I know that?” He pressed his head back into the bed. “You’ve literally seen it at work just as much as I have.”

 “I’m not personally experiencing it as a psychological effect.” Renee crossed her arms.

 “I don’t see what that has to do with anything. We’ll probably never know what the fuck my deal is. But speaking of deals, what do you think Charlie’s is?”

 “Oh,” she said, “ze’s possessed.”

 “Seriously?” He looked over at Charlie. “That fucking blows.”

 “Can’t say I would know, but from what little I have seen I am rather inclined to lean towards the the conclusion that the blow factor of it is rather high.”

 “So what,” Vin settled back into the bed, “you think they just went and shoved a pyrogeist in a kid? What would that even do?”

 “I think I’m going to pass along the spotlight for that one,” she turned to Charlie, “considering they presumably have a significantly better idea of the full extent of the answer than I do.”

 “You figured that out quick.” Alcor pushed the body into a sitting position. “What gave it away?”

 “There have been numerous minor indications throughout the past hours leading me to suspect such a thing, but it became pretty undeniable a few minutes ago when you began to do what I can only presume was pretending to sleep.” She shifted her gaze. “There’s also the fact that most people’s auras don’t drastically change when they fall asleep, but honestly that was a considerably less significant factor.”

 “There’s no way it was that bad,” Alcor said with an eyeroll.

 “I can confidently say that, even after all my years of being surrounded by children, that was the worst attempt at faking sleep I have ever witnessed.” She crossed her arms. “The only way I could imagine that fooling anyone is if they, purely hypothetically, spent all their life locked in a room, physically isolated from any other person and had never witnessed what a sleeping person actually looked like.”

 “In my defense,” said Vin, “I really don’t care.”

 “My point is,” Renee continued, “if it weren’t for the fact that I was fairly confident about your existence I would have thought that Charlie had some sort of bizarre sleep apnea and would have been incredibly worried. Do you have any idea how lungs are actually supposed to work?”

 “It’s been awhile since I had any of my own, alright? And it would have been fine but trying to do nothing is really boring and apparently just thinking about breathing is enough to make the body decide that you should be in charge of it.” Alcor crossed Charlie's legs. “Couldn’t you already see my aura though? I thought that was how you found us in the first place.”

 “Your aura was considerably more subtle when Charlie was in control. It’s like a fire; when Charlie is awake it’s like smoldering coals, noticeable when searched for but easily overlooked. With zir asleep it’s more like half the woods is on fire; unignorable in its intensity but seemingly sourceless in its prevalence.”

 “That could be a problem if they’re still looking for us. Normally I can hide it but whatever they did to bind me here has limited what I can do.”

 “I suspect that it is nowhere near as dominating from a distance. I wasn’t overwhelmed by it last night, despite the fact you were presumably in control for at least part of it. This is not to say we shouldn’t test this theory, but I suspect it is not going to pose a problem while the flailing seal is still busy and short-staffed. At the moment I have more pressing concerns, and you’re at the center of most of them.”

 “What about me could possibly be cause for concern?”

 The look Renee shot him made it quite clear that such a comment was completely unworthy of verbal recognition.

 “Who are you?” She asked.

 “You can call me Tyrone.” He leaned forward, setting Charlie’s elbows on zir kneecaps, grinning.

 “That’s not really an answer.” Her glare could ignite potassium.

 “You’re not really wrong.” Alcor said, with a grin so smug it might start monologuing.

 “What pronouns do you use?” Her glare dissolved, requiring far more fucks to maintain then she could bring her herself to give.

 “I haven’t been terribly attached to any set in quite awhile,” he said, “but traditionally go with he/him/his.”

 “Charlie is scared of you.”

 “Ze should be. I’m killing zir.”

 “Why?”

 “I don’t exactly have a choice.” He grimaced. “You weren’t quite right when you identified this as possession - it’s more complicated than that. I’m not just bound to Charlie and unable leave, they cut me off from my presence in the mindscape. I absorb energy from local mindscape around me, which normally I can just channel back to maintain a physical presence or just store for later. But now I have no way to channel that energy without going through Charlie; either physically which is hard on zir body or through zir dreamscape which would shatter it. There hasn’t been a large enough buildup to be a problem yet but it’s only a matter of time.”

 “So if I’m understanding what you’re saying,” she crossed her arms, “you are in a similar unfortunate position as the rest of us and don’t mean any harm to Charlie?”

 “That about sums it up.”

 “So stop being an asshole!” She shouted, lifting more of her torso higher off the ground. “This situation is already hard enough on everyone without you aggravating things! You are, quite literally, in the same boat as zir; I’m positive you can find some way of communicating the dangers of your presence without instilling fear in someone who can’t escape it!”

 Alcor flinched back from her outburst, blinking. With narrowed eyes and clenched teeth and fists he stood, as intimidating as Charlie’s five feet of height allowed.

 “Excuse me?” he snarled. “I’m doing everything I can to keep this kid alive! I’m even letting zir front, which is, let me tell you, incredibly boring and frustrating. If I was being an ass I could just say screw the consequences and leave leave, and I sure as hell wouldn’t be tolerating anything that I’ve been for the last few hours!”

 “The fact that it is theoretically possible for you to behave in a worse manner does not mean that the way you are behaving is okay.”

 “You are not a position to be making demands about what I do.” His voice was more steady now, colder. “You have no power over me, and I could kill you in an instant.”

 “So what?” Renee shot, her fin raised. “Everyone I’ve interacted with for years could kill me! The only reasons I am not already dead are dumb luck and the deaths of other test subjects before me. I’m hardly the paragon of durability; a particularly determined racoon could probably off me if no one intervened.”

 Renee was breathing heavily. Panting, almost.

 A splinter of nagging doubt slid through Alcor’s anger. She was far too young to feel like that. Not that that gave her any right to speak to him in such a way. Not that anything would give her the right to speak to him like that. Even if she was kinda right, he deserved better. And she wasn’t right. He was right. He was always right.

 Except for the part of his brain that kept thinking that he wasn’t; that part was awful and wrong and fuck him.  

 He had more important things to do then doubt himself. He had a screaming match with a child to win. And wow that sounded stupid when he put it like that.

 Maybe that was a sign that it was time to back down.

 No it absolutely was not. It didn’t matter if it was stupid, he couldn’t back down or she would win . He couldn’t just let her win. He was Alcor, lord of nightmares, and he was not to be one upped by a mere child. Teen. She was solidly a mere teenager, which was a highly argumentative group, making this almost respectable. It would be good for her development. An emotional release after a highly stressful time. Wait, wasn’t he the he that was advocating against operation beat the child (oh wow he just lost naming privileges forever)? Which he was he again?

 This was stupid. Stupid and confusing and dumb. What was he even doing again?

 Nothing had changed in the time it had taken him to derail himself; it seemed that being bound to Charlie hadn’t slowed his thought processes too badly. Renee was still towering over him (no one should tower over him, not being about to float was bullshit), breathing heavily and flushed in her face.

 Shit, he forgot to come up with a witty retort.

 Before he could rectify this grievous error, Vin broke the silence.

 “Hey, could y’all keep it down a little?” he asked, sitting upright on his folded legs, watching intently. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

 “Vin, you couldn’t look less interested in sleep if you tried.” Renee said coldly.

 “I didn’t say I was trying to sleep. But presumably Charlie is.” He shrugged. “I don’t mean to interrupt this legendary squabble, but one of you is like, half kid who really needs zir sleep.”

 “Do you really think now is the best time to worry about that?” Alcor glared at him.

 “Well, yeah?” Vin shrugged his wings. “Would really matter if ze was awake. Assuming ze isn’t awake right now, which I don’t know. Can Charlie be woken up by your loud ass antics? And if not, how the fuck is ze sleeping through this shit?”

 “I don’t know that!” Alcor shouted.

 And stopped.

 “I don’t know that…” He repeated, not really at anyone this time.

 He had no idea. At all. And the answer wasn’t helpfully buzzing into his head like normal. He was completely cut off from the universe. He was actually going to have to solve this mystery himself. Like a person. Possibly with charts. It had been forever since he had an excuse to make a chart. This wasn’t really a logical situation to graph out, but he was one of the most powerful entities in the dimension and could most certainly find a way to make one relevant.

 “Charlie is definitely sleeping right now,” he said quickly, “I can feel zir dreaming. Since I ended up taking over without exerting any effort once Charlie started to relax and stopped imposing zir will, I would say that Charlie needs to put in continuous effort to access the body’s senses.”

 “Before you go changing the subject completely,” Renee said firmly,  “could you at least agree to make an effort to try to treat Charlie better?”

 “What? Oh sure whatever.” Alcor loosely waved Charlie’s hand at her, the fury of the argument completely evaporated in the surging euphoria of a solid enough graphing opportunity. “It could also be that I was blocking the commotion from zir consciousness without noticing. Or, hm. Do either of you have a pen? Or any writing utensil really. A good dirt-drawing stick?”

 “We sure do got some sticks around.” Vin said, “but I’m not sure even our better hit-stick sticks would be able to do much to mark the solid rock of the floor.”

 Alcor turned Charlie’s head. “Hit-stick stick?”

 “Hit stick.” Vin’s crest bobbed up. “It’s this great game I came up with. You try to hit each other with sticks, just like the sword fencers of yore. It’s treemendous fun, and a great excuse to let loose the asp in you.”

 “I hate to break this to you, but you didn’t really invent the concept of stick fighting,” Renee said. “People have had the general idea of attacking their friends with innocuous objects for as long as there have been people.”

 “Wow, people are dicks.”

 “-” Renee stopped herself and shook her head. ”I’m going to sleep. Try not to stay up all night again.”

 “What, with Tyrone here? Don’t be weird.” He closed his eyes. “True art can’t be made within the judgmental gaze of an observer. Or in the judgmental gaze of its creator. Anyone observing the process creates judgement, and that will just ruin the whole fucking thing. True art can only be made in pitch darkness, high off sleep deprivation and the exhilarating knowledge that any wrong move could wake your cavemate and end the experience in as single justifiably grumpy instant.”

 “How many times did you stub your toe or walk into a wall last night?”

 “Art is magic. Magic takes sacrifice. Through my suffering a mighty muse will arise, and the pact we form will bring about the single greatest pile of fucking garbage the world has ever seen. Children will weep and not know why. Butterflies will break away from their ancient paths. Atlanta will rise out of the sea again. The world will be forever changed, probably for the worse.” Vin slowly shook his head. “Or at least, that’s what would happen, but Tyrone gotta be here wrecking the moment. Also I’m really tired. And like, already in the squish bag.”

 “Well then I suppose the future is set. No call of destiny nor artistic drive could ever be strong enough to overpower the awesome allure of a squish bag already sat upon.” Renee rested her hand over her heart. “I suppose this marks the beginning of the end of our travels together. Forevermore I will fondly look upon these times we shared, and I wish you only the best in your new life.”

 “Weren't you sleep?” asked Vin, settling back onto his chest.

 “Soon. First I must initiate the covering of the lights.” She slivered to the closest of the dimly glowing panels strewn about the area, covering it with a box left behind it. “Then I am become sleep, ignorer of worlds.”

 “Like you could ever ignore the world. You probably spend sleep going over communist praxis.”

 “Don’t be absurd.” She continued covering the lights. “Communist praxis is to be reviewed while staring at a wall dissociating. Sleep is the anarchy hours.”

 “Go to bed ya damn nerd.” Vin rested his head between his wings.

 Renee finished covering the lights, leaving only the small dots of scattered light that could have been either bioluminescent organisms or phosphorescent plastic to faintly define the room’s numerous obstacles. She curled around a large cushion, flopping down on it with her upper torso.

 As the two teens settled in for the night, Alcor got up to try to go deeper into the cavern. “Try” being the key word; the trash cave lived up to its name, the miscellaneous crap scattered about rendered the ground difficult to traverse even while the lights had been illuminating it. The lights’ absence took all scraps of navigability with them, making every step an ordeal. After a bit of experimenting, Alcor determined that the mess could be shuffled through in a manner that could be described as practical in much the same way that a cuttlefish could be described as basically a jumping spider.

 It didn’t take long for him to decide that he had probably gone far enough.

 He sat on the nearest thing of the appropriate height, the disembodied head of an absent statue. In the dim lighting the only detail that could be made out was that it had two spatulas positioned over the head’s eyes like a mask.

 Turning away from the others he removed the stolen sweater and lit a small flame in front of Charlie’s chest. The markings he remembered from earlier were now deeply scarred into the tissue, with no sign of the brilliantly golden ink that had been there when he was first summoned. They formed a rudimentary variant of his symbol, a five pointed star with a single large eye. The scar’s depth was concerning, but at least it wasn’t raw or blistered. Quite to the contrary: it looked old, healed over with ill-defined edges. What power it previously had was now certainly expended.

 The array unsurprisingly lacked any summoning or binding abilities, instead focusing on protection and energy distribution. Alcor tried not to think about how it was likely the only thing that stopped him from killing Charlie in his initial rage.

 It seemed the facility wasn’t so sloppy that they left significant clues about the spell they used on Charlie’s person. The initial binding was probably built into the summoning circle, and ideally that was all they used. A bit of blood could potentially be enough to shift the binding to a person, and wouldn’t be a sustained effect so could be countered with fairly normal banishment methods.

 But they had Charlie’s skin, a living part of zir. They easily could have used a much more intense ritual, one that could kill zir if improperly dispelled.

 Alcor slid down the smooth face of the head, transforming it from chair to backrest. He experimentally pushed a trickle of the fire held at Charlie’s chest to an ugly green piece of large flat plastic in front of him, the lid of a tub or something. The plastic bubbled at the fire’s touch, smoking slightly. It wasn’t the most practical method of writing, but it would do.

 He divided the lid into quadrants for reasons that definitely weren’t almost entirely aesthetic and had the fire idle in the air as he thought.

 Now, if he was a sketchy organization of vaguely competent morons and felt the need to trap a demon inside a child, how would he do it…

  Charlie couldn’t move. Well, that wasn’t quite right. Charlie was moving, but couldn't control how. Movement was just happening in zir body, and ze couldn’t change it or make it stop and everything smelled like burnt plastic and hurt and zir heart was starting to race and this was wrong and ze needed to just move-

 Charlie’s arm shot out beside zir, pulling zir down with the sudden shift in momentum.

 The floor felt good, despite its hard and uneven nature. Lying on zir back, Charlie tried to take in zir surroundings.

 There was a white-faced head, several feet tall directly above Charlie. It had large red outlines drawn over its lips and two spatulas over its eyes. Its mouth was open in a mediocre depiction of a smile, the interior eerily smooth with a tiny, highly detailed model of a cathedral placed in it.

 Everything ached slightly too much for this to be a dream.

  Oh hey, you’re awake.

  i mean i don’t think it’s safe to say that we are awake quite yet. waking normally involves like, a bed right? pretty sure there's normally a bed involved

  Sleep is kinda my thing, kiddo. Pretty sure I would know if you were still out.

  how is sleep our thing we like, never go to bed until-

wait shit fuck

you’re not me! you’re that weirdo from yesterday!

  ‘Weirdo’? And here I was thinking we were friends.

  oh, sorry i didn’t really mean to call you that. you’re just really weird is the thing.

um

what is this thing and why does it smell fumey?

  The head doesn’t matter. It smells like fumes because no one had a pen.

And speaking of pens, you should look at what I was working on before you went and flailed your way to the floor.

 Charlie slowly pushed zirself up and looked around. In front of where they had been sitting was a highly charred ex-lid, surrounded by slightly less charred vaguely flat things. The burn marks looked like they could be some kind of alphabet, but their distribution was not at all like any sort of language that Charlie was familiar with.

  i have no idea what any of this means.

  It means that they’re morons, Charlie!

I have, in less than ten hours, come up with several more effective methods of binding me and controlling us using the resources that they have, and even more allowing the use of resources that they probably don’t. If whoever is behind this had any semblance of competence we would have been way more screwed over than we already were. The whole thing is a shameful display of shoddy workmanship. Can’t believe I got caught up in it honestly.

  so you figured out what they did then? Does that mean you can fix this‽

  What?

No.

No I did not.

I did, however, figure out quite a few things that they definitely did not do.

  does that help us at all?

  Well, it doesn’t not help us.

  so no then.

  Well I have figured out some things that definitely won't work, so if we get to the point that I have to just guess on a reversal process you are a bit less likely to die.

  that

is not very reassuring

  It’s just the first night. I couldn't even get your input on anything. We’ll figure this out, don’t worry.

  you know, i wasn’t actually that worried until right now

  Really? You should have been. Did I not mention that you should be worried?

  no!

  Oh. Well.

I’m a bit of a sponge for energy and if I can’t get out of you soon I might burn through the walls of your psyche and kill you.

Sorry about that.

  HOW ARE YOU JUST MENTIONING THIS NOW?

  I guess I forgot?

Seemed pretty self evident. What did you think was happening?

  i thought you were just stuck!

  Huh. Maybe Renee had a point.

  you talked to them?

  Yeah. Is that a problem?

  i kinda wanted to be to one to tell them is all

and

maybe

not quite so soon…

  It wasn’t going to stay a secret regardless. Renee already had the basics worked out. She’s pretty perceptive.

  they don’t hate me, do they?

  What? Why would they hate you?

They’re concerned about you. At least, Renee is.

I’m not quite sure about Vin, but he definitely doesn’t hate you.

  what did you guys talk about?

  We talked about lots of stuff. Some of it you. Most of it not. I’ve been informed that apparently I’m being an ass, for which I apologize, I guess.

  you guess you apologize?

  This is a very frustrating situation for me, and I think I’ve probably been taking it out on you. I’m not really trying to, but I don’t really have much in the way of outlets right now.

  this is the single shittiest apology I’ve ever heard

  Well I haven’t exactly had to do this in a while, okay? You’re the first person I’ve spent more than an hour or two with in decades! I didn’t ask for this. I was doing just fine staying away from people managing my sheep, okay?

  Okay, two things:

 I didn’t ask for this either! You keep acting like the fact you didn’t cause this means that nothing you do is your fault and I’m sorry that this is inconvenient to you or whatever but this is my life and I am not just some obstacle that you need to work around.

You have sheep?

   Yes they’re my-

I didn’t say you were an obstacle.

  you don’t say a lot of things.

and you don’t really need to explain or defend yourself here. i know that this is hard for you. i know you have reasons. everyone has reasons. that doesn’t make it okay.

  Okay I think this might be a good time to talk about boundaries.

  do you think lines and veils could work?

  ?

  When we would roleplay at the home, we had these things called lines and veils to make sure that the game didn’t go anywhere that would make people uncomfortable.

  You play DnD and more D?

  not if i can help it that system is awful

  Excuse me?

  What? It is!

  By what metric?

  By pretty much every metric!

The mechanics are massively overcomplicated to the point that they are alienating, confusing, and generally not fun for any new player. There’s a huge gap between what the various classes are capable of accomplishing, there is literally no reason that anyone should chose a physical combat class; they have very few abilities that are as cool as what a caster can accomplish and get less focus in general. There’s a bunch of non-combat rules, which are again way more complicated than they need to be, but you don’t really get rewarded proportionately for anything done out of combat so there is absolutely no incentive to use them. And it uses way too many dice, making it really hard to intuitively understand the probability curves. And don’t even get me started on the morality system it’s so bad and unnecessary

It also treats humans as the default species and I’m really sick of that in general.

  Okay this is bull Dungeons Dungeons and more Dungeons is a fantastic game. Having complicated rules does not mean something is objectively bad.

  I think it’s a bad game because it doesn’t accomplish its own stated purpose as a game. It’s a simulationist game but it is a bad simulation. There is a huge divide in what the classes are capable and the text doesn’t really do anything to let the player know that-

  What, you want a disclaimer that some builds are weaker than others?

  I would love to flip to the beginning of an archetype and just like, see a small note

‘we didn’t really try with this guy at all’

‘sorry about that’

There are whole classes that without absurd powerbuliding can’t match what a simple spellcaster build can do. In order to do anything really dynamic with a physical fighter you need to bring in a new book of rules.

And it has established lore but most editions don’t integrate the fiction and the mechanics very well. Like, Land of Shadows does it better in every possible way. The lore is way more interesting and the classes are built into it in a way that it is hard to make a character without getting a sense of who they are and how they fit into the larger world. The atmosphere comes through even while you are just reading the rules! Some of the simulationist elements aren’t well executed and I’m still not sure how some of the stats work but what it does well it does really well.

And URPS is absurdly better at simulation. It has problems but at least there is a strong push to give your characters flaws. It still has lots of balance issues but it at least has tools for the GM to level the field.

And then there are the minimalistic games! Manuscripts and Maces can do a huge amount of what D3 does and the rules fit on one page! And there's a Powered by the Armageddon variant that has some added complexity but still can fit everything needed for casual play, including class abilities and advancement, on three pages.

Have you actually tried other systems?

  Yes, on occasion. I generally don’t like them as much.

And what makes a good game anyway, by your absurdly high standards?

  I don’t actually have that high of standards. I like a lot of games! I like trying new games. Everyone just treats D3 as the definitive roleplaying game and I’m so tired of it because there are so many systems that are so much better.

I really like games that can unobtrusively help the group tell a shared story, and D3 fails at this in pretty much every way possible, so I’m not a fan. I like it when the players can determine what the outcome of the dice means, how their characters’ success or failure effects the plot.

I guess I really like to see games that shape the conversation around something other than ‘player tries thing, roles die, GM tells them what roll means, repeat.’

One of my friends recently started a game where she creates the world by asking the players questions about the way the specifics of the world and assigns players to NPC roles when their characters aren’t active, explaining the NPCs motivation and then asking guiding questions about what they do. So she serves more as a delegator of who tells the story when than as the singular Storyteller, and it’s was really fun and

  wait this isn’t what we’re supposed to be talking about.

  So tell me about lines and veils.

  Right. So they were a thing we used to establish boundaries back when we roleplayed at the home. and i was thinking things might be easier to deal with everything if i just think about it like it’s a really weird campaign.

like you’re just some annoying guy playing the conjurer gathering the next table over who can’t keep his opinions to himself.

  Excuse me?

  sorry. i wasn’t trying project that.

i’m still not quite clear on the line between talking thinking and thinking thinking.

anyway.

A line is something that absolutely cannot be crossed. It does not happen, it is not talked about, it might as well not exist.

A veil is similar, but less extreme. It is something avoided. It can be brought up but not in detail. You can vague blog about it, basically.

  I would like to put a line on you taking over completely like you were when we started. Without warning or explanation. I don’t really want to think about that as something that is possible.

  Makes sense. Anything else I should know about?

  Lines and veils are useful in that they can be brought up whenever. I can have trouble thinking about things that might come up and be a problem, but it’s really easy to draw a line when things hit to the point where I need one, or even when things are reaching the point that I might soon.

  Cool.

I’d like to put a veil on you shittalking DDamD.

  I’m being serious!

  So am I. Dead serious. I don’t wanna hear it.

  I’m not saying that you can’t have fun playing it, just that it has bad game design. One of the funnest games I ever played was so badly written that I accidentally made what was functionally a trickster god. It was a lot of fun! It was still awful game design.

  I’m serious I don’t want to go into this.

  .

.

.

Fine.

sheep. what’s up with that?

  They’re my familiars. I like them, they’re interesting without being as complicated as people. Why are you so interested in this?

  I like animals. and you don’t really come off as the sort of person who does.

  …

  is something up?

  It just occured to me that they aren’t going to be happy with this happening again.

I’m really not looking forward to that conversation.

  This has happened before?

 Not like, this this no. I’ve had… other things come up that cause me to go MIA for a bit.

They...

They get pretty pissy when I disappear without telling them first.

I can’t blame them too much though, considering they would die pretty quick without me, but...

I could really live without getting lectured by my own familiars.

  This is easier than people are?

  Well, they would actually back down if I told them to and meant it.

I just don’t, normally.

It’s good for them to get it out of their systems.

  You know, I kinda feel that if you, with your ‘leveling a forest as an act of restraint’ self, actually meant it then most people would probably back down-

 “Is everything alright in there?”

 Charlie jumped at Renee’s voice, and turned around.  

  yes?

 “I mean,” Charlie stuttered, “yes? Is there some reason that there wouldn’t be?”

 “It just looked like things were pretty heated for a moment there.” Renee said. “I wanted to make sure he was acting reasonably. Did he apologize?”

 “A sincere attempt at an apology was made, I think.” Charlie covered zir mouth with zir hands. “No it wasn’t that, we were just talking about roleplaying games. He has really bad opinions about rpgs.”

  Excuse me!

 “Oh sorry,” Charlie said loudly, hands dropping to zir sides. “He sure does have opinions about things that no statement of judgement will be made about. Let’s talk about something else.”

 “How about breakfast?” Vin  asked. “We have a wonderful assortment of aging nutrition bars steadily stockpiled over the past few months. Just like your ol’ kidnappers used to make.”

 He enthusiastically gestured at a bowl, set on a crumbling plaster dinosaur skull, containing six identical unwrapped tan bars.

 Charlie cautiously took a bar. It was a stale sort of soft, as if the proteins holding it together collectively decided to give up on the whole endeavor.

 “Oh, number three. An excellent choice,” Vin said, fanning his fingers and wings. “That one’s food flavored!”

 Charlie nibbled on its end. It was… edible. There were not many other traits that could be attributed to it. Even Vin’s statement of ‘food flavored’ seemed a tad generous.

 “So what’s going on with all this anyway?” Charlie was sitting curled up, resting zir hands on zir raised knees. “There’s just a random secret medical facility giving kids random inherently magical abilities? That seems pretty weird.”

 “I would hesitate to call it random.” Renee put her palms together and momentarily closed her eyes. “They are very focused on the Sight, specifically in regards to scrying the future. Despite the fact that I never manifested any discernible futuresense, it was always the first thing they enquired about during our… evaluatory sessions.

 “I always made an effort to obfuscate the full extent of the abilities I had gained, but if I’m being entirely honest it was probably unnecessary; I never got the sense they were invested in what I could do after they managed to determine that I hadn’t magically acquired the ability to sense the future.” She intently inspected her nails, systematically cleaning them with each other with forceful scrapes to their undersides. “They simply wanted to figure out if anything they had done had resulted in any major changes so they could figure out what to try next.”

 “It was a very different experience than what Vin described going through.” She finished, interlocking her fingers tightly.

 “Hey, they weren’t just interested in my future junk.” Vin interjected. “They were very into my healing factor.”

 Charlie tilted zir head. “Healing factor?”

 “A healing factor,” Vin explained, “being a factor where you heal. Just like Wolverine, or Ms. Marvel, or Dead-.”

 “Isn’t a wolverine an extinct Australian rodent?” Charlie asked.

 “What? No.” Vin said. “I mean, maybe, but the Wolverine I’m talking about was like, a human dude. Well, a fake almost-human dude.”

 “Why are you assuming that Charlie, or anyone really, would understand a reference to your ancient media?” Renee asked.

 “I mean, ze could. There were thousands of people that frequented that board.”

 “So, around a ten thousandth of a percent chance that Charlie would be one of them.” Renee said. “I suppose with odds like those there really was no way to resist derailing the conversation.”

 She paused before adding “Anyway, wolverines were from New Zealand and were associated with demons, which would probably explain their ‘fake almost-human dude’ counterpart having magic.”

 “Are you sure about that?” Charlie asked. “It doesn’t sound right.”

  No, that is definitely accurate.

 “You’re damn right she’s wrong!” Vin puffed his feathers a little. “Wolverine isn’t magic, he’s a human who had special chunk of DNA made by aliens millions of years ago activated, giving him powers that strongly resemble magic, but are actually science because those two things are totally not at all the same.”

 “Yes this is definitely a thing that matters.” Renee sighed. “Could we possibly get back to the topic at hand?”

 “No.” Vin’s crest fell. “The topic at hand blows. You know what is so much cooler than me being able to regenerate? Someone who doesn’t actually exist being able to, at least until he got sick and then became the ultimate dad guy. Especially since that brings us to Kamala! Who also has a healing factor, although she is a completely different kind of almost human, albeit still via ancient alien shenanigans. Like, we could be talking about a universe where a planet-eating dude was stopped with the powers of squirrels and you want to talk about my stupid shit? They only cared about the healing thing was because the future vis would be pretty worthless without it.”

 “Wait,” Charlie crinkled zir face. “How does regeneration affect your sight at all?”

 “It doesn’t technically. But if you want to make someone look at something stupidly bright more than once then it comes in handy.” The feathers on his tail fanned slightly. “Probably was also helpful for speeding up all the shit they wanted to do with my eyes. I don’t know, you’d have to ask Renee, iris I could blindly speculate on her level but I’m just a pupil.”

 “Heh.” Charlie carefully inspected the wall of the cave. “That sounds... not good.”

 “Was that not the answer you were looking for? I’m sorry to make a spectacle of the past, but eye am not quite vitreous enough to retina this go.”

 Charlie covered zir mouth, trying to stifle zir awkward giggle. “So you think this might be about some really bright thing in the future then?”

  Why do you keep doing that?

 “Presumably yes.” Renee’s shoulders relaxed slightly. “I’m assuming that they are trying to determine the precise nature of the final blackout.”

  doing what?

 “The what?” Vin asked.

  Covering your mouth whenever you say something.

 Renee’s arms dropped slack as she turned to stare at him. “The final blackout. As in, the infamous future point that all scrying stops at. Are you honestly telling me that at no point, in all your time at the flapping bee did it occur to you to netsearch anything along the lines of ‘scrying future blinding light’? I understand that you have never bothered keeping up with current events but we’ve known about this for centuries.”

  oh

that

i cant talk right now but i want to and if i cover my mouth the words are less real so i can

 “I don’t like thinking about this shit when I don’t have to.” Vin shrugged his wings. “I’m not going to spend my free time getting balls deep into all the fuckery I’m trying to escape.”

  That makes literally no sense.

  Thanks I hadn’t noticed that in the all these years of being the only person who does this.

 “The final blackout?” Charlie finished zir bar and put zir hand over zir mouth again. “Isn’t that the reason they’re making that huge machine?”

 “Ah yes,” She put her palms together, “the Great Machine of Everline Eves. Although it certainly does contain the potential to explain the blackouts, for some reason not everyone is willing to trust it with the entire future. The minor dark spots it has produced have corresponded perfectly with historical records, which is a good sign, but there are so many unknowns that many people would go to great lengths to try and determine the outcome of its primary activation, or if it will even manage to get properly activated without sabotage. And apparently these lengths include experimental magic on sapient beings.”

 “Sabotage? Why would anyone sabotage it?”

 “The Great Machine,” Renee’s eyes closed, “was designed to explain the blackouts in that it would be the cause of them. The nature of the final blackout, however, means that anything could happen beyond what the machine is supposed to do. The final stage of its activation could easily cause, or happen concurrently with, some massive disaster, and possibly one that would only happen because of the machine’s creation. There are people worried that the blackout is a catastrophic informational paradox and that, were we to simply leave it alone, the future would shift to something more normal.”

Her hand rotated around her wrist. “There are also people who think that the whole thing’s a front for something much more sinister, but considering the size of the project, along with the diversity of groups working on it and the rather astounding degree of transparency they are holding themselves to, I personally doubt that this is the case. I would not be surprised at all to find that there are other projects in the works that plan to take advantage of the timing of the blackout - I would actually be rather surprised if there weren’t - but I think it is reasonably safe to take what we know of the Great Machine at face value.

“There is also opposition by those who don’t trust a state - or really anyone - with the machine’s projected capabilities.  And considering the things I have personally undergone by the hands of a supposedly highly regulated non-governing organization, I’m rather inclined to agree - it will theoretically be producing enough energy that the only reasonable emergency heat sink is to convert it into matter, which is to my admittedly limited knowledge of advanced physics an absolutely preposterous amount of power.”

 “Personally undergone? You know who is behind the facility?” Charlie leaned forward. “Are we entering the paranoid ramble zone?”

 “It’s almost certainly the Supernatural Control and Disaster Prevention Taskforce. I really wouldn’t consider that a paranoid theory considering what we’ve witnessed.”

 “Didn’t the Taskforce do something sort of like this like a century ago?” Charlie shifted zir gaze to the floor. “I thought that they wouldn’t be able to do anything like it again after journalists discovered that they had been doing experiments on souls.”

 “Because if there is one thing history has taught us it’s that once a powerful organization is caught doing something they shouldn’t they sincerely apologize, stop at once, and make sure to do everything they can to ensure the victims recover and can thrive in their lives.”

 “Aren’t people supposed to be like, watching for something like this though?” Charlie leaned back again.

 “The problem with that is they are currently the only organization with the authority to possess knowledge about anything demonic, and they also are the ones who have the power to classify things as demonic. This means that they can easily make any investigation an internal affair, and amazing rarely find themselves guilty of doing anything impermissible.

 “There has actually already been an incident since the infamous Incident 51 where various magical experiments were uncovered. There were about two hours between it being made public and the taskforce finding evidence of demonic interference, closing off the scene from all external investigators and determining that the whole thing was the fault of a suspiciously well funded ‘crime syndicate’, despite there being no apparent method of extracting profit from the arrangement.”

 “Oh god you got her started,” Vin said.

 She shot a quick glare at Vin before continuing. “I do sympathize with the hope that the institutions that have power over us also have our best interests in mind and that any major deviation on their part from that is, at its root, a misunderstanding or a mistake, but from a historical perspective there is nothing surprising that has occurred here. Unethical experimentation has been being conducted on non-humans since the transcendence, and on supposedly undesirable humans for even longer. And experiments are just the beginning; forced sterilization, deliberate failure to do anything about major health risks, turning a blind eye to corporations effectively poisoning air, water, or soil of an area or just directly poisoning it themselves; the list goes on, and every time it’s discovered it’s treated like some shocking and unheard-of event before being deliberately covered up or, more frequently, just getting forgotten about. And that’s assuming that a decent number of people even care when it is discovered, which is frequently not the case.”

 “She managed to get all news from the past century blocked for the both of us.”

 “Why are you complaining about that when you spent the vast majority of your time engaging in millenia forgotten media? It took six months and me pointing it out for you to even notice!”

 “I liked not giving a shit to be a choice.” Vin put his palms up. “When someone else prevents you from giving a shit it’s this whole different thing and it sucks.”

 “Not to be a bother,” Charlie said, still looking at the floor, “but is this all the food you guys have? What are you planning on doing once it runs out?”

 “Unfortunately it is.” Renee said. “Originally the plan was to find a small town, one with a bit less surveillance than a city would have, and, well, acquire supplies as needed until things blew over a bit.”

 “Originally? What happened?” Charlie pushed zir knees up to zir chest and leaned forward, nose falling into the crack between zir legs.

 Renee looked upwards, tracing around her ear with a hand. “A serious failing in foresight on my part. It turns out that we have been reclassified as A Class nonhumans, so our magical signatures will trigger a high alert, and we can’t do anything to hide that.

 She pulled her fingers into a fist, pressing her nails against her ear. “This really should not have been a surprise; there is certainly historical precedent for such a thing.” She relaxed, arms falling to her sides. “I guess I just thought that maybe they wouldn’t bother with such things. We are fairly harmless, after all, and… I guess I just wasn’t prepared to deal with this large an obstacle.”

 “We can always go hunting.” Vin puffed his chest out. “Eat animals like early man!”

 “What‽” Charlie exclaimed. “Thats disgusting.”

 Vin cocked his head. “Where do you think meat comes from?”

 “A factory? We took a tour of a production plant before, they’re really cool. And animal-less.” Charlie frowned. “Anyway how would we even get the animals? I can’t run a deer down.”

 “I’ve read all about trap making. Most of the stuff I read is from before we could grow meat so I’m pretty sure the authors knew what they were talking about.” Vin looked up, “but digging a big-ass pit does sounds pretty hard. We should probably go for something smaller than deer... Bread’s basically made from crickets, right?

 “I think cricket flour still has some plant flour in it.” Renee said. “But there are lots of plants out, we could probably figure out some sort of substitution.”

 “Don’t you kneed an oven to make bread?” Charlie asked. “Where could we go that would have an oven? And for that matter, since the small town thing didn’t work out, where are we going to stay? I don’t think it’s safe to stay this close to the facility, is it?

 “My vote is still on going to the moon.” Vin said. “They’ll let you do anything on the moon.”

 “Because if there is anything I want in this life it’s to live in a medical observatory,” Renee said.

 “Hey I don’t care if doctors want to check my vitals or whatever. I’m fine so long as they keep their scalpels to themselves.”

 “And how would you know that the moon isn’t just as bad as here?” She crossed her arms.

 Vin leaned back. “I got a good friend who lives on the moon.”

 “And they knew all about your predicament, yes?”

 “Oh come on.” Vin rolled his eyes. “The moon doesn’t have people carefully monitoring all communication to hide some massive experiment thing. They let people off the moon. She’s taken like, three trips here and wants to visit me each time but I’ve always told her I’m too sick and man she’s going to think I just fucking died isn’t she.”

 “Okay, even assuming the moon is what it seems,” Renee shook her head slightly, “and ignoring the glaring question of how in all the small gods we would get to the actual moon, why do you think that they wouldn’t just send us back the moment we encountered someone? It isn’t like they lack computers on the moon.”

 “Yeah but like half the moon is in some weird ass demon cult and it ain’t even a secret.” Vin paused. “Weird as in really fucking chill to be clear here. They wouldn't give a shit about us. They’d probably figure if we were too big a threat the patron demon of the moon would eat us or some shit.”

 “Doctors and demons? You are really selling this place.”

 “Okay look-” Vin’s eyes went wide. “Shit something’s wrong. We need to get out.”

 Renee closed her eyes and concentrated. “You’re right. They're coming fast. I got careless… Should have been watching…”

 “Let’s play the blame game later.” Vin’s puff level was rapidly approaching the chart’s edge. “We need to get out.”

 They ran out of the cave. Around the entrance, spread out in a wide semicircle, was a wall of security guards. They had guns. They had dogs. They had other, harder to identify things.

 The barking was coming from a dog at the head of the circle. Two people stood adjacent to it. Both apparently human, fair skin and worried expressions. The tall one was wearing a different kind of outfit from everyone else in the area. Less military. The short one was wearing the same militant style as the rest, but slightly fancier.

 The kids stopped in the cave’s entrance. Renee was frozen, staring fixated at the holstered gun of the fancy guard.

 The lead dog was excited, straining at its leash.

 “Oh my god. That’s what a dog is?” Vin said. “It’s so big! I thought dogs were only supposed to be like chest height.”

 Renee blinked and broke her eyes away from the distant gun. “Vin, you're barely over chest height. Is… is this really the most important thing to be worried about right now?”

 “As opposed to what? So we’re boned, it isn’t like this was ever actually going to work.”

  I think that I should front now.

  what are you going to do there are so many of them

 The tall one was talking. The words surrounded Charlie like an ocean, a vast pressure as unbearable as it was meaningless.

  I’ll get them out of our way.

  is this just another continuation of ‘My offer to kill them still stands?’

  They have enough warding and general protection that many of them could easily get out with only third degree burns.

  i’m not going to just let you kill a bunch of people

 I just said I would probably be largely maming.

And why is this a problem? These are not good people. They aren’t going to just let you go. They literally kidnapped you to perform dark magic. They done things that are just as bad to Renee and Vin for years, and we have no reason to think that you are the only ones.

People who are dead or hospitalized can’t perform unethical experimentation.

  i don’t think these are the people who are performing the experiments though

  Well I can kill them after I figure out how to get me out of you.

  i dont want you to kill anyone

  I don’t exactly need your permission

  I know. But you’d be crossing a line, and that would be your choice, not mine.

  .

.

.

Fine.

I will do what I can to get us out of this situation through the least efficient method possible and avoid doing anything I have a good reason to suspect would seriously harm or kill any of the people who would kill you in an instant if they thought it would make their lives easier, ignoring how this will definitely ensure that is exact same problem happens again.

Are those satisfactory terms for you?

  if you did kill them they would just send other people and everything would escalate but that doesnt matter now and

okay

what you said is fine let’s do this.

 Charlie took a deep breath, or at least a breath that was significantly slower and deeper than zir previous breaths, and tried to relax.

 Ignore the near future, ignore the vivid memory of helplessness of paralysis of -

 Ze took another breath. It was even less qualified to be called deep than the previous one.

 Ignore the guns. It should be easy, as they were quite small. Inconspicuous. Easily hidden and easily capable of being missed so there were probably way way more than ze could see except why would there be that wouldn’t matter you really only need one don’t you?

 Zir body took a step forward.

  wait no what are you doing they have guns i don’t want to die

  If they were planning on shooting us they already would have.

I’m just going to talk to them a little, and then I’ll try to scare them off, okay?

  okay that is makes fine sense

it okay im okay with it this is finefinefine

  Right. I think I’m going to ignore you until this is over.

 “No drones this time?” Alcor asked, stopping a few steps from the entrance.

 “I have no desire to have a repeat of last night’s disaster, no,” said the tall person.

 Unlike Alcor, who was managing to stand larger than Charlie truly was, they didn’t carry their height well. They were lanky and stood lightly slouched and leaning onto their left side. Their dark purple hair spiraled around the top of their head in a tight braid. Dark bags hung under their slightly squinted eyes.

 Alcor took another step forward. The lead dog’s barks became frantic, triggering an avalanche of noise from the rest of the pack. No longer excited for the hunt it turned in tight circles, torn between the need to defend and the need to flee.

 The guard in the fancier uniform drew their weapon.

 “You do realize,” Alcor said, “that if anything happens to this child things are going to get very bad for you very quickly, right?”

 “Right,” the guards’ partner said. “Because you care deeply about the welfare of children.”

 “Is something arbitrarily deciding to like kids really any stranger than an animal abandoning the drives formed from millions of years of evolution pushing them to put the care of children above many of their own physical needs?”

 “I’m not getting into a debate about morality with you of all entities.”

 “And I don’t care what you think. Now, let’s move on from wasting each other’s time. I’m going to give you the opportunity to leave, right now, without anyone getting hurt.”

 “If you actually care about the wellbeing of that child at all, you’ll come with us.”

 “Really.” Alcor’s voice was liquid oxygen, unfathomably cold and poised to combust.

 “Your present situation is incredibly unstable. If you leave, the child will die. This was never supposed to be a long-term system. If you come with us we can reverse the ritual before any more damage is done.”

 “Oh, so the child you forced me into can live zir life with only mild psychological scarring.” Alcor’s glare intensified. “How generous of you. And all the other people you’ve abducted? The ones with the nerve to have long term schemes committed on them?”

 “I’m sure that we can come to some sort of agreement to-”

 “Some kind of agreement?” He exploded. “Just because you strip someone of their agency doesn’t mean their life is yours to give. If you want something enough to demand my attention you need to face the consequences of your actions.

 “I don’t trust you. I don’t think you intend to follow through with anything you have claimed. I don’t think you have ever actually done anything like this ritual before. I don’t think that you are going to be willing to just let me leave. And even on the off chance it actually is your intention, I don’t think that you actually have the knowledge to follow through.”

 Blue fire quite literally exploded around him. “And I have better things to be doing than wasting my time talking to you.”

 With a quick gesture the fire burst shot away from him, forming a barrier around the cave entrance. Even at the farthest point from it, the fire’s heat still hit Renee and Vin like a truck.

 Alcor spun around.

 “Renee, we don’t have much time before they realize that the effects of the fire are almost purely psychological. You need to cast an illusion over us.”

 “What?” She shuddered at his voice. “Right. But… The dogs. I can’t do smells. Not highly sensitive ones.”

 “Don’t worry about the dogs. They aren’t anywhere near well trained enough to be willing to follow me if I don’t want them to. Just give us the same sort of cover you were last night.”

 “Okay. Cover. Yes. I can do that.” She put her hands to her forehead.

 “Vin, where do we need to go.”

 “I… I don’t know! Why are you asking me?” Vin’s neck was pulled back and puffed out.

 “All you need to do is listen to your intuition.” Alcor’s voice was level but sharp. “Where do you think it would be a good idea to go?”

 “Not here?” He scratched the ground with his claws. “The moon? I can’t-”

 “Vin.” Renee said slowly. “The cave is part of a system. Do any of the tunnels feel particularly auspicious right now?”

 “Nothing feels auspicious right now!” He said, compressing into himself. “We don’t even know there is an out. We don’t know where any of the tunnels even go, or that they even go anywhere.”

 “Vin, you’re panicking, try to calm down.” Renee gently stated.

 “What? Panicking? I hadn’t noticed!” he said, looking more like concerningly hairy peach than anything else. “Calm down, god you’re just so brilliant aren’t you. Why didn’t I think about that? How did I ever manage to continue existing long enough to meet you and your amazing knowing skills?”

 “Okay,” Alcor gripped at Charlie’s bangs, “we don’t actually need any amount of magic luck right now. There were enough branches that even if just pick one at random and if it doesn’t go anywhere it will probably be fine. Let’s just get out of the circle of armed guards .”

 “They’re going to put up surveillance around the entrance.” Vin’s words ran together. “We’re not going to be able to get out again. This isn’t going to work this was never going to work.”

 “It doesn’t matter right now if they block off this entrance, okay?” Alcor snarled. “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

 “Can everyone please stop shouting.” Renee said, aggressively calmly. “it is very hard to concentrate.”

 Alcor took a deep breath. “I’m. Sorry. Let’s just go. I can pick a way. It doesn’t matter.”

 He took a few steps towards the cave. Renee quickly slithered to his side. He did not hear the sounds of other footsteps.

 “Vin.” He said. “We’re going.”

 The absence of a response drove into his temple like a pin.

 Clenching Charlie’s jaw he turned around.

 Vin was still.

 Looking away.

 Possibly breathing.

 “Vin.” Alcor walked towards the frozen avian.

 Vocally afar. “Drop the fire.”

 “What.”

 No inflection. “Drop it now.”

 Alcor.

 Alcor dispelled his fire.

 The facility staff were a mess. No longer a impassive wall but a swarm of ants, they scurried around driven by their own tasks. The dogs were abandoning any pretence of obedience, straining their leashes, scratching the ground, frantically barking, anything they could to get away get out get anywhere else. As the fire evaporated to nothing so did the action - purpose petering away to uncertainty.

 “Well,” said the tall person. “That was... convenient.”  

 “Should we keep going, Doctor?” Asked one of the identically dressed guards, looking up from the elaborate triangle of runes they were finishing.

 “No.” The doctor sighed. “All it would do at this point is disable our own equipment. Can anyone get the dogs under control at all? I don’t want to think about the logistics of tracking someone with foresight without them.”

 “So we’ve lost them again,” said the short one.

 “Basically.”

 “You know Dana, that was pretty much the worst negotiation attempt I’ve ever seen,” they continued.

 “Why thank you, Gonzales.” Dana said pinching the bridge of their nose. “Here I was thinking everything went smashingly.”

 Renee moved her lower torso around Vin and Alcor, hugging them too her. “Should we be leaving?”

 Vin drooped over, steadying himself on her lower torso.

 “Generally,” Gonzales continued, “you don’t want to actively antagonize someone who has what you want.”

 “And generally you don’t send someone with no experience and only a crash course for training into the field, and yet here I am.”

 Alcor quietly answered Renee’s question. “Let’s see if we can learn anything useful. Should be fine unless one of them trips over us.”

 “Aren’t you supposed to be an expert?” Gonzales asked. “Didn’t you have to do something like this to graduate?”

 “I majored in math. I move numbers around. I ask people in a lab for more numbers if I’m feeling really adventurous.” They looked down. “There are only a few hundred people with formal and legal experience with this on the planet. And for some reason none of them could be convinced to get dragged into all this bulls… these bulls.”

 Gonzales laughed. “Highly professional. Minor swearing is definitely the line you need to draw.”

 “If you can find something in the employee code of conduct against ranting in the woods I’d love to hear about it.”

 The other guards had given up on even pretending to do anything useful. Some were paying attention to the conversation between Gonzales and Dana, most were milling about, splitting off and talking amongst each other.

 “Seriously though, what the hell are we supposed to do from here?” Gonzales asked. “I don’t imagine that you’re going to be able to diplomatically convince them to come along with us when we finally find them again.”

 “Now we admit that we aren’t qualified to handle this and get the higher ups to send someone who is before everything gets even worse.”

 A cloud of sharply artificial citrus scent filled the area, emanating from a vaping guard.

 Gonzales shook their head. “They aren’t going to like that.”

 “Well I don’t think I’d like dying either so they can deal with it.”

 “Are you sure it’s really that big of a deal though?” Gonzales asked with little certainty. “They’re just a bunch of kids, at least physically. Can’t we just tranq em?”

 “Do you know how to judge the appropriate amount of sedative needed to safely subdue a child suffering a completely unique and physically degrading condition without having any way to know in advance how it has affected their body?” Dana snapped. “While their magical signature is a fluctuating garbled mess?”

 “Okay, point taken.” Gonzales flicked some dirt from their nails. “So what actually happens if the child dies, anyway? How confident are we that he can actually deliver on his threat?”

 “If the child dies he will be released and will absolutely kill us,” Dana said without hesitation.

 “Not to be morbid,” Gonzales said, “but if he’s as dangerous as you say, why hasn’t he killed us already?”

 “That’s hard to say.” Dana sighed. “We are dealing with one of the most notoriously unpredictable entities ever. If I had to guess, I would say that either he is hoping that we’ll tell him how to undo the ritual, exerting enough power to actually get past our wards would be too potentially harmful to the child, or he has some sort of agreement with one of the children that’s staying his hand.”

 “Not to imply that I know better than those above,” Gonzales crossed their arms, “but why the actual fuck would you do your trial run on a notoriously unpredictable entity?”

 “Because the predictable outcome is that everyone involved dies very quickly.”

 “So fuck the why are we… would anyone do this at all?”

 “Why would you hire on an expert and ignore everything they say? Why would you use experimental magic to achieve what is functionally the same effect as one of the oldest rituals we know about? Why would you do anything in this absolute hurricane of errors that lead to this goddamn shitstorm?” Diane flicked her arms up. “Because theoretically this method would give us unprecedented control in a situation where the power dynamic is normally out of our favor. Because it looks good on paper. Because despite not knowing a nightmare from a high fae, a couple bureaucrats clearly know what is best in every circumstance that they would never think to dirty their hands in actually bringing to life.”

 “Did that help at all?” Gonzales asked. “You feeling any better?”

 Dana pressed her eyes into her palms. “Not even a little.”

 “You wanna get some drinks tonight?”

 “I think I’m going to be ears deep in the headache of trying to explain that sending someone actually qualified to take care of your mess is more important than trying to keep anyone who will understand exactly how severely and preventably you messed up from finding out.”

 “You want to get some drinks anyway?”

 “I don’t know.” Dana rolled their head back. “Maybe. Probably. Something so sweet I won’t be able to feel my teeth.”

 “So,” one of the other guards asked, “we done here or what?”

 “I was kinda hoping that the illusion would pass and we would get some footprints or something to work with, honestly.” Dana sighed. “The combination of farsight and illusions makes it a bit farfetched, but... ugh.”

 “You think it’s worth it to keep the place guarded?” Gonzales asked.

 “Not really. The caves here are a labyrinth and they have foresight. We’re not going to just stumble across them while they are actively avoiding us, and frankly even if we did there isn’t much of a point until we have an actual plan better than hoping that his desire to keep a random kid alive and wellish remains strong enough for him to keep tolerating us.”

 The facility staff meandered off. Presumably to return to their bunker, and finish off their assigned duties. Afterwhich they would, presumably, get smashed and say regrettable things to their superiors only to wake up the next day and find the only thing that they would take back was that fifth plate of cheese curds.

 In a less hypothetical moment Renee was relaxing, slightly, letting her torso distance itself from her companions.  Vin was pushing himself upright again, shaking his head as if a strong enough physical movement could displace the heavy pressure that filled it.

  Looks like we’re done here, I’m going to take back seat again.

Charlie?

  ?

  Are you ready to front again?

  sure

  Um

Charlie?

  ?

  Are you okay?

  sure

  Really?

  Sure .

  Okay then...

I’m going to let go now.

 Charlie’s body shifted. Ze wasn’t expecting it, had heard what Alcor said but the words couldn’t be translated into action, into a future. The movement was not surprising, however; it was simply happening. Something had to happen and there was no reason it shouldn’t be this.

 Someone was talking to zir.

 It was Renee. She was saying too much and too fast for Charlie to process it all.

 She wanted to know if ze was in control.

 She wanted to know if ze was okay.

 She wanted Charlie to know that she was sorry for other people doing things she had no control over.

 Was ze in control? Charlie’s arm moved. It followed a mental command, with slight resistance from the upper arm where the sweater that had been stolen for zir was clinging to the sweaty skin. Lower, the cloth was loose and bunched, as there was more cloth then there was arm space, so the cloth rested on itself in folds on folds on folds.

 Renee was talking again. She was concerned.

 It occurred to Charlie that she was probably expecting an answer.

 The arm didn’t feel like it was part of Charlie. It was its own distinct object, with significant physical distance between it Charlie.

 Everything was far away from where Charlie was. Charlie was unsure where they thought they were, but the uncertainty was fine. Most things were fine.

 The arm slid to a vertical position, the hand attached to it putting up two fingers in a sign of generalized approval. Everything was to move on its own, not forcefully tugged like Alcor was in control but gently gliding on their own accord, which coincidentally aligned with what Charlie wanted them to do.

 Renee didn’t seem to find the given gesture particularly convincing.

 Was ze okay? Zir heart rate and breathing seemed normal. Ze didn’t feel upset. Ze didn’t feel much of anything. And that was okay. Therefore ze was okay.

 Charlie’s hands couldn’t find a useful gesture to communicate this information.

 Renee was talking again. Responding to what Charlie had said. Which apparently meant that ze had words right now. This was probably a good thing.

 She wanted to know if ze felt up to moving again. She said that they needed to find somewhere safe.

 Charlie stood up. Not quite sure when ze had sat down. Again gave an affirmative gesture. Started walking in the direction that Renee was turned towards.

 She was talking with Vin. The words were not aimed at Charlie and filled the area without any meaning to zir. The air felt heavier from the sound, like the words had a physical presence. They caused a pressure to them that the brisk breeze could do nothing to liberate.

 The breeze was chilly, cutting straight through the knit fabric of the sweater Charlie was wearing. Zir skin tingled, and the world tingled. Everything was blurred into a single haze with arbitrary things popping into highly detailed focus.

 There was a sapling on the side of the path, smooth bark that was an almost-white brown. Already stripped of leaves, one of its two branches torn off and hanging from a stray strip of bark. It swung in the breeze, back and forth and back and forth and back…  

  Renee really wished she had a plan. She was a little shocked at how calm she was remaining in one’s absence. She had been almost paralyzed earlier thinking about how little she could plan for the inescapable future, but now that it caught up with her she found it surprisingly easy to focus on what little she could do. The things she had to do.

 Keep cover.

 Keep an eye out.

 Keep moving.

 The future would keep coming and she would keep doing what she had to.

 She suspected that this reaction was, in part, the fault of shock, and that once she reached a place where she could afford to freak out she might. But for now she couldn’t afford it, so she didn’t, instead focusing on moving forward through the woods.

 The forest was huge and made of cliffs. They traversed a path a few feet wide, a wall on their right and a steep drop off on their left. A river could be heard somewhere below them, off to the left. Renee wanted to avoid it, if possible. Too flat and exposed. Too large of a chance that they would encounter a drone, that someone would spot her before she could make her illusion work on them, that somehow something would go even more wrong than everything already was.

 She also wanted to go to it, was convinced on some deep instinctual level that the water was safety. She wished her brain understood the power of modern technology. Or the fact that half her gills didn’t work.

 Vin wanted to go to it for no reason other than having never seen a river before. He wasn’t passionate enough about seeing the river to actually fight her, for which she was grateful, but he had been rather whiny about it. The bickering was strangely relaxing, bringing with it a comforting familiarity. It was almost as if they had never left, like they had never escaped and were just bullshitting each other in their small communal area. It was strange to find comfort in her past, but at least then she had known what she was striving for outside of the vague need to survive, at least then she specific goals to work towards. Even if her solutions had been, at times, highly unrealistic, there had been the feeling of having time to work things out, the luxury of letting things be a problem for her future self.

 Well now she was the future self. Now she had to deal with it. And she would, she just had to break it down. This was manageable.

 They would need food, or they would die.

 They would need shelter, or they would risk getting ill and dying.

 They would need to find a way to get Tyrone out of Charlie or ze would die.

 And after she solved the problems of the present then they could try and figure out a more long term strategy.

 Shelter was the smallest problem presently. The cliffs were still littered with openings, even as far out as they were. They weren’t that warm, but they were dry enough and Tyrone could probably keep things warm while they slept.

 Cooking was also not a problem - magic gave ample sources of fire. They just needed something edible. Fall was harvest season, so if they could find a farm they might be able to take plenty for themselves. However they were no signs of an edge of the woods outside of the landfill, which was huge, full of treacherous terrain, and largely without cover. She had to assume that the food bars would run out before they found any convenient replacement source. Foraging while they moved would probably be the best option, but she wasn’t familiar with the local flora and was positive that Vin wasn’t either. She would have to ask Charlie and Tyrone if they knew anything. Charlie probably didn’t, ze grew up in the same area she had, and presumably were mostly familiar with the same subtropic plant life that this place lacked.

 She could possibly modify a water-seeking spell to locate food. Experimental magic wasn’t the best solution for a dire situation, but since they still had things they knew to be edible it would at least be easy enough to test, so it was unlikely that it would do anything worse than not work.

 And experimental magic brought her back to Charlie.

 She had no idea what to do about Charlie.

 She wasn’t even sure what Tyrone was. Pyrogeist didn’t seem to fit with what the guards, what Dana - a name she should remember, someone who could become a scapegoat if this became public and could possibly be blackmailed - was saying. Any sort of ghost wouldn’t really make sense with what she understood their motives to be, anyway.

 And even if Tyrone got out, they still had Charlie’s skin, which could apparently be deadly. Renee really had no idea on the specifics of how that worked, but it did mean that even if they could get Tyrone out they would have to be very careful.

 Then again, if they got Tyrone out he might just kill everyone involved.

 Renee wasn’t sure how she felt about that. On one hand, the whole operation absolutely needed to be stopped, but... That was a lot of people. And how many of them were even aware of the full extent of what was going on? They were working in a building that put great effort into looking abandoned, so surely they had to have some idea, right? It was absolutely better them than her, but she still felt rather uncomfortable with the idea of it.

 But sometimes the best available outcome is one you’re uncomfortable with. An outcome where everything was shut down by any means possible was still better than one where more children were taken. They didn’t exactly have many options.

 And she still didn’t know what to do about Charlie.

 “Hey! Renee,” Vin exclaimed, jarring her from her thoughts, “look at that! I think it’s an opossum! A real possum!”

 The small animal frozen in a bush that he was pointing at was indeed, to the best of Renee’s knowledge, an opossum.

 “Are you going to point out every bit of wildlife that we pass?”

 “Probably. But come on! The myth, the meme, the mayhem.” The marsupial huddled away from Vin’s emphatically gesturing hands. “They look a lot less intimidating in reality. It’s pretty cute, actually.”

 “Memes aren’t really the best places to get accurate information about animals, you know.”

 “Memes are objectively the best places to learn anything. Accuracy is overrated,” Vin said. “Hey do you think I could catch it? It is holding still.”

 Renee smiled. “It’s going to flee the moment you move closer.”

 “How fast can it be? It’s only like, a foot long.” It fled as he moved a step closer. “Holy shit those things can haul ass! On such tiny legs too. Renee, I think I love opossums? Can we get one please?”

 He walked towards where the possum had disappeared into the bushes.

 “Who is this ‘we’?” Renee tilted her head. “If you have it in you to domesticate a wild animal I certainly won't stand in your way, but I will have no part in this tomfoolery.”

 “I’m obviously talking about Charlie and me.” Vin looked around the ground. “Ze is against eating animals, that’s pretty much the same thing as wanting any potential pet, right?”

 Charlie turned towards Vin at the sound of zir name, blinking. Ze was a ways ahead, apparently not having noticed that Renee and Vin had stopped until now.

 “Yep.” Vin said. “That right there is the face of someone just dying for some possum love. I gotta do this, Renee. Gotta do it for the kid.”

 “I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I doubt it is still on the ground where you can get at it.”

 “Hey Renee?” Vin asked. “Can opossums use knives?”

 “Please don’t arm the local fauna.”

 “What? I’m not going to give an opossum a knife, they’re blind. It would be crazy irresponsible. You’d need to get them like, a seeing knife dog and those be crazy expensive yo.” He shook his head. “No I’m just asking ‘cause someone went and carved a thing into this tree and if we’ve eliminated the possum that means that there might be actual people around here somewhere.”

 “This area is rather remote but people get pretty much everywhere. Can you tell me how old it looks?”

 “It looks like a tree with a picture on it. If you want anything more than that you should look at it yourself.”

 Renee sighed. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to squeeze through the bushes. Things have been scratchy enough as it is.”

 “Shouldn’t you be able to like, shapeshift or some junk?” Vin asked. “I thought naga could turn into almost humans.”

 “First of all,” Renee said, “naga are a very diverse group with a wide array of magical abilities. Saying naga can shapeshift is like saying naga have wings ormultiple heads - not a lie per say, but hardly a safe assumption about any specific individual. Secondly: although I am theoretically capable of shapeshifting, I am physically incapable of staying in an alternative form for any length of time. Naga aren’t werewolves - we keep any injuries they might have while shifting, which in my case means that my gil damage gets incorporated into my trachea, and an almost-human without a functional windpipe is about as pleasant to be as an almost-aquatic salamander with only one functional gil set. So it is my lot in life to remain as I am, bound to legglessness and landlocked.”

 “Okay that sucks now are you going to look at this jacked up bark or what?”

 Renee slivered over the bushes, crushing them under her torso, and looked at the tree in question. Carved deeply and cleanly into the bark were two stars, mirrored on the same horizontal plane. One was about twice the size of the other.

  Oh!

 Charlie had returned to the group and stood behind Renee.

  We’re actually in luck for once. I know that symbol. It’s used by an organization that frequently deals with fugitives to designate the locations of shelters they set up. If we go the direction the larger star is pointing we should be able to find someplace safe.

 “It looks like it was covered somewhat recently.” Renee said. “If it were old the cuts wouldn’t look anywhere near as clean.”

 “Are stars a normal thing to carve into trees? I thought people normally stuck to their names and dicks and junk.”

 “This feels like it would have a very specific meaning to whoever would be in the know.” Renee traced over it with her finger. “It isn’t one I’m familiar with, and since more secretive groups tend to share information in person that’s hardly surprising.”

 “It kinda looks familiar to me actually,” Vin said. “Can’t place it though.”

  Charlie.

  ?

  Could you actually tell them what I said? It’s kinda important.

  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 Charlie repeated what Alcor had said. Ze had no idea if it was them talking or Alcor, but the information was shared which is what mattered.

 “Right, I know where I’ve seen that symbol before!” Vin snapped his fingers. “This organization wouldn't happen to be a cult, would it? Cause that’s almost identical to the symbol for some demon.”

 Renee turned to face Vin. “How do you know that?”

 “I wasn’t joking about half the moon being in some cult. My buddy isn’t even part of it but when she’s hosting our convos locally the symbol still pops up every now and again.”

 “How come you get to learn things about actual demons but I can’t even read the news? This is utter bullshit.”

 “Probably because they knew I wasn’t actually going to try and use that information for anything. It’s not like I know how to summon a demon, just that one exists and that the moon demon apparently likes stars.” Vin shrugged. “Anyway, if he’s vouching for them I’ll trust the weird demon guys.”

 “Do I really need to point out how utterly suspicious this is? A demonic cult specifically trying to attract fugitives - people who no one will notice if they go missing - to secluded areas with the promise that no one will be able to find them? Or the similar concerns with someplace as difficult to access and unregulated as the moon.”

 “Hey, I also wasn’t kidding when I said the cult was weird in a chill way. They’re less like a cult and more like a slightly too invested fanclub. They don’t kill people, it’s like one of their core tenets. Apparently the demon flips out when it happens. Only it’s permitted to do that, I guess.” Vin shrugged. “Anyway I kinda wanna visit this place and if it was full to the brim of murder cultists I’m pretty sure my intuition would be screaming at me.”

 Renee turned to Charlie. “Do you happen to know if this cult would be inclined to keep a stocked pantry in their shelters?”

  Generally yeah. Unless someone else was just staying there.

 Charlie nodded.

 “If we die I’m blaming the two of you entirely.” She said, and slivered toward where the arrow was pointing.

 There were actually quite a few trees with the carving on them - each tree lead to another. Eventually the chain terminated at what appeared to be another cliff face. There were five leaves arranged in a star pattern in front of the cliff, with a small rock slightly offset from them in a way that strongly resembled the symbol that led them to it. The leaf strewn ground made the arrangement was quite subtle; if they hadn’t been looking for something they never would have noticed it.

  So to cause the door to open you gotta put the rock into the leaf cluster. How long you betting till they figure it out?

I’m guessing Renee refuses to touch anything until she fully analyses the enchantment on the leaves and Vin get’s to distracted by squirrels to try anything.

 Charlie nudged the rock onto the leaves with zir foot.

 With a hum just on the edge of audible, a rectangle of wall slid backwards and sideways, revealing a large room behind it.

  What’d you do that for? That was going to be entertaining to watch.

  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  That really isn’t an answer, you know.

  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 “You should probably try to be more careful when dealing with magic from a largely unknown source,” Renee said. “I could have at least determined the nature of the enchantment before we messed with it.”

  See? She was actually prepared to spend the better part of an hour taking apart a simple trigger spell. She probably wouldn’t have even learned what it triggered.

Half the fun of a puzzle is watching others chase dead ends and spend way too long on pointless paranoia. You roleplay, you should know that.

 : /

  You’re not really as fun to talk to like this.

  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 The room’s interior was large; it could probably reasonably accommodate a troll. It could definitely accommodate three teens. It was fairly sparsely furnished, having a large bed in one corner, a couch, a small shrine, and a small kitchenette taking up roughly a quarter of the space. There was also an open door on the far wall with a squat toilet and no apparent room for anything else behind it.

 The door automatically slid shut behind them. If they hadn’t just entered through the side of a cliff they never would have guessed that the room was in a cave. The walls were smooth, and with their pastel yellow paint job they looked every bit like part of a normal building. The wooden floors were dull and slightly warped, the forces of time and use spreading them and pushing them out of alignment. The lack of windows was made up for by large landscape paintings covering the walls. A soft warm glow illuminated the space from recessed lights in the ceiling.

 It was cozy, and far more normal than a cave safe house set up by a cult had any right to be.

 Renee immediately investigated the shrine. It was positioned on a black dresser that, Renee quickly found, was full of a wide variety of clothing and not any sort of spell reagents or dark paraphernalia. The shrine was a simple one. Inlaid in gold in the center were the same two starred symbol from before, only modified so the larger star had two smooth protuberances that curved around the smaller one. There was a circle of bloodstones around it, with five candles evenly spaced throughout the circle. Two bowls, one empty and one full of water, were positioned on either side of the circle. There was a note under the empty bowl.

 “Take what you need,” it read, “and leave an offering if you are comfortable doing so. Freshly cooked food is traditional, but anything crafted or loved can do. Set the offering in the bowl and light the candles. Don’t be concerned if nothing happens, our Star can be a fickle one.

“For as long as the rock is in place, you will be left alone. Put it back as it was when you are ready to move on. You may stay as long as you need, but keep in mind that, if you are pursued, outside of the blessings of our beloved Star there is nothing here to ensure your protection.

“If you have not already, please disable any electronics for the duration of your stay.

“Good luck in your travels, and may the Dreamer’s Star give you his blessings.”

 The note was repeated in three different languages.

 “Are we actually sure that this is a demon cult?” Renee asked, while rummaging through one of the clothing drawers. “Because I have read things from the circles of small gods significantly more threatening than this.”

 There was a small click, and all light was gone, like it were fleeing a well trained seeing-knife dog.

 “Hey Renee!” came Vin’s voice. “There’s this button here and I can control the lights!”

 “You have a friend who lives on the moon and yet light switches are some remarkable thing?”

 “Well you have to admit, it is a very enlightening technology.”

 Renee placed her face in her cupped hands as Vin rapidly cycled the lights.

 “So. There’s a kitchen.” She said. “One could presume there would be some actual food stored there, correct?”

 “Lettuce hope so.”

 “You know what else is here?” Renee asked, randomly opening a cupboard and taking note of the neatly stacked pans inside.

 “What’s that?” Vin was grinning.

 “A door.” Renee pulled a wrapped block of noodles from a different cupboard.

 “What, are my puns really that unpalatable?” He headed into the kitchen after her.

 Renee stopped in front of the pan cupboard. “The creation of language was a mistake.”

 “All this talking when we could be cooking is a missed cake.” Vin picked up the noodles Renee had selected and inspected the packaging.

 Renee rooted through the first cupboard and after some consideration grabbed a medium sized saucepan. “Why are you like this?”

 “I wish I could tell you, but I donut dough.” He unwrapped the noodles.They were thin and tightly packed together.

 “Do you actually have a punny response to everything I might say?” Renee asked, setting the pan on a hotplate sitting on the counter.

 “You beater bay leaf I do.” Vin said, and took a bite from the block of noodles.

 Vin started coughing, and quickly lost his bite of noodles.

 “Wow, I think these were really designed for people with teeth,��� he said. “Or maybe just for smaller bites?”

 He nibbled more successfully on the edge of the block.

 “They’re designed to be cooked first!” Renee cried. “They’re supposed to be soft.”

 “Really?” Vin said. “‘Cause these are pretty great honestly. It’s like a stick you can eat, Renee.”

 “Noodles are hot and soft and wonderful. Not a dry pointy hellscape in your mouth.”

 “A stick. You can eat.” He dramatically spread his wings. “Like nature herself realized the grievous error in her inedible stick agenda and came down in a maelstrom of plants and tiny animals and junk to bless us with the perfect mouthfeel. And you’re telling me that I need to look her in the eyes and spit in her good will and heart with the words ‘no, I’ll take them soft, please’?”

 “I’m pretty sure it’s bad for your stomach to eat it raw,” she said, tearing the packaging off of a second block.

 “Lots of things are bad for you, Renee. Ignoring everything your doctor has said to live in the woods with a pun-spewing weirdo and a dying possessed kid is bad for you. Sometimes you just gotta look the consequences square in the eyes and do it anyway.”

 “Well, I’m cooking mine.” Renee put her noodles in the pot. “And when I’m done you’re welcome to see what noodles are actually supposed to be like.”

  Um.

Charlie?

  ?

  I don’t suppose you are in any way up to actually verbally communicating right now?

Because she didn’t actually put any water in that pot, and I would rather this place doesn’t burn down for several reasons.

  …

 Charlie silently walked over to the hotplate Renee was using, took the pot, removed the foil spice packet from the noodles, and filled it with water.

 “Charlie?” Renee asked, “what are you doing?”

 Charlie set the pot back on the hotplate and handed Renee the discarded packaging, pointing purposely at the instructions.

 “Oh.” She covered her face with a hand. “I didn’t realize that someone might think to include instructions on something so simple. This would probably be easier if I hadn’t gotten banned from the kitchen so quickly after getting to the foster home.”

 “I’ve never been in a kitchen before in my memorable life!” Vin chipped in. “And let me tell you, this kitchen thing is more than living up to all that hype no one ever once gave it.”

 “Oh, if I had known that you wanted some kitchen hype I could have told you all about my experience finding a copy of the anarchist cookbook and starting a massive fire,” Renee said. “It was spectacular and only a little traumatizing.”

 “Oh wow, edible sticks have nothing on that.” Vin’s crest fell dramatically. “Now I’m disappointed in this whole thing. Thanks Renee.”

 “I do what I can.”

 The noodles finished cooking fairly quickly. They were a bit gummy and overcooked, but the spice packet covered most imperfections in the overpowering taste of salt.

 After eating, inventory was taken, mostly by Renee. The kitchen was stocked entirely with non-perishables. On top of noodles and rice there was dry fruit, canned goods, granola bars, tea, vitamins, and various nutrition powders. There were also dehydrated baking mixes, which seemed a little odd but not any more than the existence of the safehouse in general.

 There was clothing for most body shapes and types, and although very little of it seemed new everything was in much better condition than anything randomly found while messing around in a landfill. They didn’t have anything proper for covering Renee’s lower torso, but this was hardly surprising as proper naga skirts had to be carefully tailored to not fall off or make it hard to actually slither places. But it was still nice to have a sweater that fit properly and didn’t smell like mildew.

The bottom drawers of the dresser were full of board games. Alcor was the only one who recognized any of them, so he picked one through Charlie for them to play as they unwound from the day’s earlier excitement and tried to figure out what to do about the future.

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

[botanistlester]

The Summer (17/30)

The Summer (17/30) | Dan Howell has spent the last three summers at Camp Bergamot, but it’s never been quite like this before. This year, he faces a summer full of new friends, a new relationship, and an entirely new view on his own sexuality. Perhaps Camp Bergamot should be renamed camp self discovery for all the changes Dan has gone through, but one thing’s for sure - despite all the hiccups and the drama, he just might have found the love of his life. | Phan | Mature | Smut, Misunderstandings, Insecurity, Panic Attacks, Bullying, Minor Violence, Physical Fight | 300,000+ Words

Disclaimer: In no way do I claim that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

This Part: 11,665 Words

For reference, @botanistlester is Dan, @snowbunnylester is Phil.

(Previous) (AO3) (Masterlist)

Warnings: sexual comments, possessiveness, fluff

Chapter Seventeen

The sound of giggling woke Phil, who groaned at the intrusion to a much needed nap, rolling over only to find his progress interrupted by a solid figure that most definitely was too warm to be a wall or anything else like that. Phil groped at the object he was pressed up against, only to realize that he was touching warm flesh, and then his eyes flew open to find that he was staring straight at his boyfriend's sleeping form, lashes fanned out beautifully against tanned skin, breathing even and soft and low. Someone giggled again, and Phil remembered what had woken him up in the first place, blinking blearily as he tried to focus on the end of the bed. He was still wearing his contacts - always an unwise decision when going to sleep - so it didn't take

as

long to focus. When Phil did, his cheeks flushed a deep red, and he ducked his face into the crook of Dan's neck in embarrassment. "Guess who we've found all sexed out," Caleb teased. Phil could hear someone whacking his arm. "Shut up Caleb, it's cute. I doubt they'd be stupid enough to have sex where anyone could walk in anyway," Mariah complained back, informing Phil of who had hit Caleb. "They're being gross again," Kim complained.

Dan jerked awake none-too-pleasantly to the sound of talking. He blinked opened his eyes, squinting against the sudden bright light, and immediately tried to allow sleep to overtake him once again. There was a warm figure next to him that was all too inviting, so he rolled into the touch, wrapping his arms around the body and pulling it closer to him. Then, he was interrupted once more by talking and his sleep deprived brain was actually putting two and two together, making sense of the words, and his eyes flew open. He recognized Kim, Mariah, and Caleb all standing at the end of the bed, giggling over the forms of Dan snuggling up to Phil. Mariah was saying something to do with the fact that Dan and Phil weren't stupid enough that they would have sex where anyone could walk in, and Dan's face immediately flushed in embarrassment. They had literally just had a form of sex right on this bed only hours ago and apparently they were stupid enough. He didn't say that though. He was just glad they hadn't seemed to notice the hickies littering his neck yet or else they'd probably put two and two together. "Bet you'd like it if you walked in on us having hot gay sex," Dan shot back, voice slurring a bit with how tired he was. Caleb made a noise of disgust and Mariah rolled her eyes before glaring at him. "Damn, you're right," she shot back, "I'm writing the fanfiction about you two and all your kinky sex right now." Dan snorted and he could feel Phil hiding his face in his neck out of embarrassment. "Can I read it? I'm sure it doesn't do us justice." Mariah grabbed a book from Dan's backpack and threw it at him, making him wince as it hit his chest. "Get up, you lazy fuck. Stop being so couple-y. It's disgusting." Even though she said that, she was smiling in a way that Dan knew she didn't mean it.

Being caught in bed with his boyfriend was bad enough, but being caught in bed when Dan was quite literally littered with hickies barely hidden by his t-shirt was so much worse, because Phil had the terrible feeling that if their friends were to take one quick peek, they'd know that Dan and Phil had quite literally been dumb enough to have sex out in the open. Biting his lip, Phil kept his face hidden in the crook of Dan's neck for as long as he could, and hoped that they wouldn't realize the hickeys were anything more than playful biting, rather than a heated session in a bed that had been far too public even for Phil's sensibilities. He suddenly couldn't believe it had happened at all, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. As Dan started to shift away from Phil, and Mariah tossed a book at his chest, Phil moved to sit up as well, yawning and running a hand through his hair. The sound of giggles filled the room again, but Phil played it cool, turning a raised brow on their friends. "What?" he asked, voice gravelly and deep. "Looks like you two definitely had some fun." Smirking, Phil shrugged his shoulders, and reached over to grip Dan's chin in his hand, drawing him forward slowly. He could see Dan's pulse fluttering anxiously. "Guess we did," he agreed, and pulled Dan into another lip lock, much to their friends distaste.

A chorus of disgusted noises erupted from their friends as soon as Phil brought Dan into a kiss. Dan found himself not being able to focus on the ministration because of it, instead bursting into giggles. He grinned, making Phil literally kiss his teeth, and then they were both laughing, pulling away from each other. "At least we can have fun," Dan finally responded, and he was just glad that they weren't able to see the rest of his marked body so they couldn't tell just how much fun they'd had. Caleb tsked at them, rolling his eyes. "Oh how I miss the days when you were straight," Caleb sighed dramatically, putting a hand to his forehead as if he were imagining it. "The days when you didn't kiss cute boys and have sex in front of the camp counselors." Dan rolled his eyes. "Like we'd have sex in front of the counselors. We may be stupid but we're not that stupid."

Phil was cracking up, nearly bent over at the waist from the fact that his first bad kiss with Dan had been his fault entirely. How he'd ended up kissing Dan's teeth at all was beyond him, but at least it made for a funny story. Besides, Phil couldn't help thinking about just how stupid the two of them had been getting basically naked in a public bedroom just to have sex in the middle of the afternoon on a free day. In a way, they'd had sex in front of all of their fellow campers, so Phil found it hilarious Dan would even attempt to defend them. "Alright, alright. Enough fun and games. Was it dinner time already?" he asked, stretching and yawning as he climbed out of Dan's bed easily enough. His limbs ached in a strangely pleasant way, and it was leaving him in a really good mood. It also made his shirt ride up, and he didn't miss the way Dan's eyes flashed to the bit of his tummy that was exposed. Yeah, Phil had a feeling this encounter was going to stick with them both for a long while. Once their friends confirmed the dinner bell was about to go any minute, the five of them headed out, with Mariah and Caleb stealing Dan away to talk while Phil fell back with Kim. They didn't talk much, but Kim did reach out and take Phil's hand, squeezing reassuringly. It was good to know his friend was happy for him.

Dan tried not to pout when Mariah and Caleb drew him away from Phil but he didn't complain. He didn't want to seem like the clingy boyfriend that he actually was. Plus, his friends probably missed him. Truth be told, he missed them too, but Phil was so new and pure that he couldn't help but to spend as much time as he could with his new boyfriend. They were quiet for a moment until they were sure Phil was a bit of a distance away again, and then Mariah was the first one to speak. "We really are happy for you, Dan," she said quietly. Dan beamed and felt his heart swell when the twins both entwined their pinkies with him. He was so happy to have friends like them. "Thank you. I like Phil a lot," he admitted. Caleb patted him on the back. "It's really hard to realize you like someone of the same sex. We're proud of you," Caleb told him. "Just make sure you don't get hurt, okay? We know how invested you get in relationships." Dan nodded in understanding and looked to Phil, smiling when he saw Kim holding his hand. He was glad that he didn't worry about that anymore. Kim and Phil were purely platonic and there was nothing wrong with that. "I don't think Phil would do anything to hurt me," he said. "This is new to both of us so we're experiencing everything together."

"You doing okay?" Kim asked as the others kind of took off on their own, pinkies all entwined. The sight made Phil grin, and he moved to bump hips with Kim. "The best," Phil agreed easily enough. "I'm... Happier than I thought I would be dating someone, but maybe it's just Dan," he said, laughing. Kim didn't laugh, though. She just smiled softly, and squeezed around Phil's fingers. "I'm glad. You deserve nothing but the best, Phil. But have you guys talked about after camp?" The question caused Phil to pause for a second as he thought. "Not exactly. We live quite close, though, and... and he definitely seems to want to make this work in the long run," Phil added, blushing a little as he voiced that for the first time. He was afraid the others would think they were dumb, but Kim looked at him with soft eyes. "That's good. There's no point in dating if the intent isn't the long run. Sometimes things don't work out, but they definitely won't if you don't both put in the effort." Phil's ears were a deep red, but he was grinning as he looked at his feet. "Yeah," he agreed, and grinned up at Dan’s back. Maybe it wasn't such an unattainable dream that his first love would work out. Love. That was something Phil was quickly finding happened quite rapidly and suddenly, creeping up on you when you were least expecting it. Yeah, Phil thought as he stared at Dan's back, I could fall in love with him. Phil thought he might already have, but he was too afraid to admit to that aloud.

"So." Mariah and Dan turned to look at Caleb with matching raised eyebrows, waiting for him to speak. Caleb was looking at Dan with a glint in his eye and Dan had a feeling that he was going to be embarrassed rather quickly. The feeling intensified when Caleb continued. "Those hickies. Wanna explain how you got them?" Dan's entire face turned an ugly shade of red. He could practically feel every mark on his body pulsing with his heartbeat. If only Caleb knew just how marked up he was. "I mean, how else would I have gotten them?" Dan asked exasperatedly. Mariah nodded in mute agreement but she was grinning knowingly. "Besides," Dan continued, pursing his lips, "It's not uncommon for new couples to have a bit of over affection. We're trying to get out all of our passion now so we don't just have sex right in the middle of the dining hall," Dan teased. Caleb and Mariah made disgusted noises and shoved Dan, leaving him laughing as he grabbed a tray and started to scoop food onto a plate. "At least I enjoy kissing Phil! Step number one of a good relationship!" Mariah grinned and put her arm around him, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I love you two together so much," she admitted. "You're the cutest couple I've ever seen." Dan beamed at her and then, because he enjoyed being an obnoxious ass, shouted across the buffet line to Phil, "Hey, Phil! Mariah thinks we're the cutest couple in the entire world!" It earned him a hard shove, but he couldn't stop smiling anyways. He thought they were cute too.

It made Phil happier than he could say when he followed Dan into the cafe only for Dan to turn and shout to him almost immediately into collecting his food that Mariah thought they were the cutest couple ever. He hadn't ever expected to hear that, but with the rush of new feelings running through him from his conversation with Kim, it was the best feeling in the world to know that people liked to see them together. Grinning like an idiot, Phil winked obnoxiously at Dan, all the while chuckling a little to himself. The way Dan was looking at him wasn't helping either, making Phil's heart stutter. He couldn't help wondering if Dan loved him as well, and then ducked his head as that thought made him feel like he was on fire. He was getting ahead of himself. They needed more than going-on-three-weeks, surely. "Me too," he finally shouted back, and finished gathering himself a rather small meal because his stomach was already filled with butterflies, before he headed off to their usual table to wait for the others. Tonight was another personal bonfire night, and Phil was looking forward to being an out couple next to the firelight.

Dan grinned when he heard that Phil thought they were the cutest couple in the world as well. He had to agree completely with the statement, and walked to their table. As he set the tray on the table, he gave Phil a quick kiss on the cheek, ignoring the noises of his friends making gagging sounds as he did so. He was happy and they could deal with it. If he was being completely honest, he was so happy that he and Phil were able to be out about their relationship now. He could hold Phil's hand whenever he wanted to, kiss him whenever he wanted to. Hell, they could play footsies under the table. And nobody could tell them otherwise. Dan was the happiest man in the world.

Phil's heart was doing crazy things as Dan leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, and he couldn't hide it in the way his cheeks turned completely red. As they had for breakfast and lunch, Dan sat next to Phil, and they held hands the entire time they ate. It felt incredible to do it out in the open, and as such, Phil smiled the whole way through his meal. He hardly managed what was on his plate, little as it was, because his stomach was still so full of butterflies at the realization that he was most definitely falling in love with Dan if not already gone for him. He kept glancing at Dan the entire time they ate, as well, and it didn't go unnoticed by his boyfriend, who had an adorably cute expression of confusion on his face even as he smiled at Phil. Finally, the others finished their meal and they were released to claim a fire pit. They got lucky enough to get the one nearest the lake as well, and Phil was giddy on the knowledge that he would now have an excuse to cuddle Dan at the fire pit.

Having a bonfire by the lake was one of Dan's favourite things in the entire world. This way, he could watch the way the moon shone down on the water, soft ripples disrupting the luminescence. The fire was making shadows dance around them and Dan could hardly take his eyes off of the boy next to him. Phil was so beautiful. He knew he had that thought a lot, but it really was true. The way the fire lit his cheekbones, how his eyes glittered in the moonlight. Dan could stare at him all night. So he did, smiling softly at the way Phil's cheeks turned a beautiful red under his gaze. For once, his friends didn't bully him about his obvious affection. They let him have their time, Dan wrapping an arm around Phil's shoulders to bring him in closer, Phil wrapped up in his side. Dan pressed a kiss to the side of his head, half listening to what their friends were saying, half ignoring everything except for the human beside him. "You're my favourite person," Dan mumbled in Phil's ear. He just wanted to shower Phil with all of his affection, to see the expressions flit across his face. To show him just what he meant to Dan.

Phil snuggled into Dan's warmth the second that the other boy wrapped his arm around his shoulders, just kind of burying himself into Dan's side with his head tucked into the crook of Dan's neck. Like this, he felt so much smaller than Dan, protected and loved. His cheeks were constantly red from the constant thought of that word, but he couldn't seem to make it stop, and he wondered if he actually truly wanted to. He kind of liked knowing that his feelings were so deep, that for the first time, he could bask in the high's and low's of something unique and intimate like his relationship with Dan. Phil had worried for a long time whether he'd even find something like this… and now he had it. He found himself grinning with his tongue poking out when Dan called him his favorite person, and turned to shove his face against warm skin, reaching around to hug Dan's waist and drag himself even closer. "Me too," he mumbled, pressing kissings against the skin there.

Dan was so glad that Phil felt the same way towards him. He didn't know what he'd do if that wasn't the case, what he'd do if he and Phil had never gotten so close while they were at camp. Dan was suddenly feeling extremely affectionate towards Phil, so thankful that he'd had the chance to meet the boy this year. Phil was resting his head on Dan's shoulder and Dan smiled softly and rested his head on top of Phil's. He couldn't stop thinking about how lucky he was, how incredibly happy he was to have somebody like Phil showering him with his love. Dan shivered at the word. Love. What a strange thought, but he realized that it was true, a possibility that was quickly approaching them. He shoved the idea away, deciding to come back to it later. Right now, he should just focus on how soft Phil felt by his side and how their friends were singing dumb campfire songs that made his ears bleed. He grinned. He was just so thankful for this camp.

Eventually, it started to get a little colder, and their friends dissolved into telling silly stories about home while Phil cuddled into Dan's side. Unhappy with their positioning, Phil finally drew away from his boyfriend and dragged himself into a standing position. Dan turned to him with a furrowed brow, but before he could ask Phil what was wrong, Phil shook his head and smiled, directing him to move where he was sitting. Once Dan had adjusted, Phil moved to sit down behind him, scooting in until his chest was flush with Dan's back and his legs were on either side of Dan's body, arms wrapping around his middle for good measure, chin placed on his shoulder. He nuzzled at Dan when he giggled, and then kissed his neck, right where he'd left his mark, grinning at how amazing it felt to hold someone like this. For once, he felt a bit bigger than Dan, and it was glorious.

Despite how Dan was a few inches taller than Phil, having Phil hugging him from behind like this made Dan feel small. He liked it, liked feeling as if he was being protected for once, like Phil was shielding him from the cold. He settled against Phil, enjoying the way that Phil felt pressed against him. For once, he wasn't turned on by this positioning, his self control seeming to be in tact this time, so he soaked up this affection as much as he could, shivering when Phil kissed at his neck. Dan could still feel all of the marks over his body and it was amazing knowing that Phil had claimed him. He turned his head a bit while Mariah was telling the story of how she'd cut all of her hair off and dressed up as Caleb during school once and nobody had noticed. Dan caught Phil right on the lips, dragging him into a sweet kiss and humming a bit. Phil tasted like s'mores and campfire smoke and it made Dan's heart flutter in his chest, bumping their cold noses together. When he pulled away, Phil buried his nose into the nape of his neck and Dan jumped away, hissing. "Your nose is fucking cold, christ!"

Phil wasn't fully expecting Dan to turn his head and kiss him full on the lips like that, but he wasn't going to complain when it meant he was getting to kiss Dan again today. They'd kissed more times than Phil could count at this point, but each time was equally as amazing and perfect and good, so Phil never, ever wanted to give it up. Plus, it was a little nerve wracking to do it in front of their friends, but Phil was enjoying it none the less, glad that Dan would even want to do something like that with him. It was just all so precious and new that when Dan pulled away, Phil buried his face into his neck, cold nose pressing to warm skin. Apparently, Dan didn't like that so much as he literally flung himself away from Phil in reaction - or attempted too. Really, he just managed to dislodge Phil's face as he arched away from him. "Sorry," he said, pouting. "Come back here."

Dan pouted out his lip and crossed his arms. Even so, he still settled back into Phil's chest, not daring to give up this wonderful feeling of warmth for anything. "Fine, but you can't freeze me to death anymore," Dan warned his boyfriend. Phil's arms were back around his waist, holding him close as if he were afraid Dan would try to get out of his grip once more. As if Dan wanted to be out of his hold. (Truth be told, Dan would probably still stay in his arms even if Phil tried the same thing again). He tried to tune back into the conversation with their friends, but it was hard when Phil was holding him so close and he could feel his breath brushing against the back of his neck. Dan was utterly fucked, completely smitten, and he couldn't help but to be alright with that.

When Dan settled back into his arms, Phil couldn't help sighing gratefully, resting his chin on Dan's shoulder again but avoiding touching his neck with his nose again in case Dan really did pull away this time. He didn't want to stop holding Dan like this, after all, and so he settled in and laughed along with whatever story the others were telling now, occasionally jumping in to tell his own, but for the most part, he just focused on how wonderful it felt to hold Dan.

**

Apparently, they were canoeing today, and water skiing tomorrow, an interesting change of pace in their routine that Phil hadn't realized was happening because neither he nor Dan had been paying attention last night to the new activities their group would be doing. In fact, Dan was apparently mortified because both activities for the week involved water, which meant bathing suits, which meant... no t-shirts for either Dan or Phil. The problem with this? The fact that Dan was absolutely covered in hickeys from an over-excited Phil who'd just really wanted to get his mouth all over Dan. Even now, he could remember the way it had felt to dip his tongue in and out of Dan's navel, and he wanted to do it again - except he was meant to be freaking out with Dan over the fact that he was being forced to walk around shirtless. "I mean look at this!" Dan was complaining, stood in front of Phil in Phil's cabin after having just taken off his t-shirt, swim trunks hugging his hips deliciously. Phil was definitely already looking, Dan didn't have to worry about that. "Mm," he hummed, reaching out to press his fingers into a mark under Dan's nipple, which was hard and erect from the cold air. "Yeah. It's horrible," he agreed thoughtlessly, only... he couldn't help feeling like it really wasn't that horrible. Now the whole world got to see who Dan belonged too, and Phil couldn't help feeling smug about that.

Dan couldn't help but feel truly and utterly naked. Sure, he absolutely loved the marks Phil had left on him, loved the way they made him feel so claimed, but when he was forced to be in front of the entire camp in just his swim trunks while there were hickies all over his chest, stomach, and thighs? He'd rather go die in a hole. To make it worse, Phil didn't seem all too bothered by it. No, instead the fucker looked rather smug. He let his eyes wander over Dan's body unabashedly, landing on every mark as if he were trying to ingrain the sight to memory. Dan wanted to reach out and slap him, but he didn't. So when Phil reached out and touched a mark that was just under Dan's nipple, Dan had to bite his lip to stop from making a noise. He clenched onto the shirt that was discarded in his hand, trying not to melt under Phil's dark gaze. It was as if Phil was fantasizing what he'd done to give Dan those marks, how he'd like to do it all over again, and Dan had to take a deep breath to calm himself down. "You don't sound as if it's horrible at all," Dan whined, crossing his arms over his chest. It was as if he was trying to hide himself from the stares of the rest of his campmates. "Oh god, what if the counselors say something to me? Do you think they'd make it so I wouldn't be able to see you anymore?" Dan worried. Although he knew that they wouldn't do that, he still wondered. What would his friends say? "Fuck, it looks like we literally had sex! I can't believe our luck. Two water activities this week? You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Phil couldn't help glancing around his cabin at the other boy's studiously pretending not to be listening into their conversation at all, grinning to himself when he caught a few of them even checking Phil and Dan out a little, and felt his smugness levels only increasing. Because he could, and because he felt like Dan wouldn't mind too much, Phil reached out and wrapped an arm around his waist, dragging Dan close so they were nearly touching from head to toe. He pressed a soft kiss to Dan's forehead, even when he wanted to do so much more, and forced himself to focus. "Sorry. It's just - really hot to see you like this. I kind of want to... do it again," he whispered, keeping his voice quiet so the others wouldn't hear the way he was speaking to Dan. He cleared his throat as he pulled himself back together. "If I'd known there was going to be two water activities at once, I would have tried harder not to... to mark you up like that. I really am sorry, Dan," he added, hoping Dan wasn't too angry. Besides, Phil did feel kinda bad about it. He wasn't sure he'd feel all that much comfortable than Dan if he was covered in hickeys as well. "But we are sixteen. Technically we're allowed to have sex," he added, growing a little nervous at the idea of not being allowed to see Dan. "Do you really think they'll separate us? You really can't wear a shirt?"

Dan couldn't be mad at Phil. Not when he was drawing him close, pressing a sweet kiss to his forehead. He couldn't even be mad when Phil was telling him how hot he was, how much he wanted to mark him up again. Dan wanted to just fall into Phil's touch, to make out with him until they both could barely breathe, to let Phil mark him up as much as he wanted to. But he didn't because there were people watching, following their movements with their eyes, and Dan couldn't risk doing anything that could possibly get him kicked out of camp. So he straightened up, smirking at Phil with a glint in his eye. "I'll let you do it again one day," Dan replied thoughtfully. "But only if I get to mark you up first. Get my mouth all over your skin, making you feel good." Dan grinned evilly at his boyfriend, putting his own arm around Phil's waist and caressing his beautifully pale skin. He wished he could just get his hands all over Phil, but he restrained. "They won't kick us out. If anything, they'll just give us a warning. But Brittany and Mike are cool so I don't know if they'll say anything at all."

Phil shivered the second that Dan put his arm around his waist, whispering just as amazingly erotic words to Phil as Phil had murmured to him. Phil had already offered to let Dan have a chance at Phil, at kissing him all over, but hearing that Dan would let him do it again, hearing how much Dan wanted both of them to get their mouths all over each other? That was anyone's dream. Phil couldn't believe they'd done what they'd already done, let alone that they'd get to the chance to do it again. Phil closed his eyes, but nodded his head. "Yeah," he whispered, agreeing. He licked his lips, swallowing thickly, and nodded at Dan's reassurances as well. "I just - don't want to get you in trouble or taken away from me," he said, sighing in relief. After shaking his head and pulling himself together, Phil finally looked at Dan again with a flirty smile. "Now there can be no doubt you belong to me," he teased.

Dan rolled his eyes and kissed Phil's cheek again. "You won't get taken away from me, I won't allow it." At the sight of everyone beginning to head to the lake, Dan followed. He was admittedly a bit nervous of when they'd see their friends. They had already made a joke about Dan and Phil not being stupid enough to have sex in public, but here Dan was with obvious red hickies all over his body, including ones that disappeared underneath the waistband of his swim trunks. "I'm all yours and everybody knows it. Soak it all up, I'll get you back for this later," Dan promised. Even with his threat, he tangled their fingers together, trying to hide his nervousness with affection.

The others were leaving the cabin, and Phil found himself and Dan following after them immediately despite their own nervous fear of everyone's reactions when they did finally see Dan covered in hickey's the way he was. Dan was the one to reach for Phil's fingers, grasping them tight in his even as he spoke out of his ass to tease Phil. Phil squeezed around him, wanting to reassure and calm him down, and finding it a little bit harder than he'd anticipated when, almost the second they were out in the open, all eyes were on them - or at least, all the eyes of their friends. Mariah was the first to proper react, her eyes bugging wide and her mouth dropping open, while Kim turned her face away with a deep blush, and Caleb just started laughing. Phil felt Dan tensing, and while he wanted to reassure his boyfriend, he allowed a smirk to slip onto his lips. It wasn't that hard when Phil really was feeling quite proud of himself, but mostly, he just wanted to distract their friends from Dan's embarrassment so they wouldn't make it too much worse. "Morning," Phil greeted as they grew closer. "Daniel Howell!" Mariah complained. Dan sputtered like he was going to answer, but Phil cut him off. "What? Did you expect anything less?" he teased, winking and watching Caleb literally dissolve into tears he was laughing so hard.

Dan wanted to melt into the ground from how embarrassed he was. He'd thought it was bad before when he was just in the cabin with the other boys Phil was living with, but when he actually had people teasing him about it? He would rather just accept death at this point. He knew he must have been a sight, his hair unruly and wild with curls, his face a horrendous shade of red, large marks all down his body. And of course, Phil smirking proudly next to him as if he had painted the world's biggest masterpiece. Dan glared at him. That jackass. "Stop teasing me," he whined, trying to shrink behind Phil as if it would make him invisible. "Blame Phil, not me. I didn't do anything." Mariah raised her eyebrows. She was wearing a smirk as well, an expression that matched both Caleb and Phil's. "Sure, you didn't do anything. I'll believe that." She gave Phil a pointed look and Dan groaned. He knew what she was implying, and they hadn't even done anything like that yet. Dan hated everybody. So he scoffed, narrowing his eyes at his giggling friends. "If I did Phil, I think we can all agree that he'd be just as marked up as I am," Dan told them icily before he could stop himself. Lucky for him, it only made his friends laugh harder. Assholes. "That's it, we're not friends anymore! Stick your laughter up your asses!"

Phil couldn't help finding it hilarious, how they were all teasing and fighting like this, Dan practically shaking at Phil's side with his frustration and anger that his friends would tease him like this. The way they raised their eyebrows at the possibility that Dan would top made Phil laugh, but also want to leap out and defend him, so he let go of Dan's hand to wrap an arm around Dan's waist, and leaned into him innocently, eyes wide and begging. "Oh, he did plenty," he declared. "Just doesn't like to leave his mark." The way their friends all cackled at it made Phil feel a tad bit better, because it felt safe to have them all teasing like this, messing around while also keeping their love life and sex life somewhat secret. Dan pouted at him and turned to hit him over the head playfully, but Phil dodged out of the way, still cackling, and ignored him entirely. "Come on, Dan. It's not that bad. I mean, at least no one else will bother coming onto you now," Caleb teased, nudging him. Phil smirked to himself, nodding along, because that was definitely a benefit he approved of as a result of this.

Dan blushed at what Phil was implying, about how Dan had done plenty to him. In reality, it had been Phil who had taken care of Dan the most, giving him an actual blowjob and all. The only thing that Dan did had done was give Phil a half assed hand job because he was too scared shitless to put a dick into his mouth. He'd get there eventually, but he appreciated how Phil was sticking up for him despite that fact. He pouted nonetheless and tried to hit his boyfriend playfully, but Phil ignored him and got out of his way before he could hit him. Then Caleb was telling him how nobody would come onto him, and Dan couldn't help smiling a tiny bit. He didn't even care that nobody was going to hit on him regardless, but he still liked feeling claimed, liked knowing that everybody could tell who he belonged to as soon as they caught sight of his marked body. "I suppose that's a plus. Have to give off those taken gay vibes somehow," he snickered. Caleb rolled his eyes. "You're not even gay," Caleb snorted, and he was right but that was beside the point. "If I'm not gay then explain this!" Dan exclaimed, gesturing wildly to Phil before he pulled Phil into him, kissing him sloppily on the lips. "That was the gayest thing anyone could do."

It was unfair, the way Phil's heart lurched when Dan dragged him into a kiss, lips sloppy and messy against Phil's, but overall still lovely and warm. Phil didn't even get a chance to close his eyes before Dan was turning back to Caleb as if he'd just proven his point, and Phil was left to stare dazedly at the side of his boyfriend's face until he caught sight of the two girls giggling. "I think you've gone and mesmerized Phil, Dan," Kim teased, nudging Mariah until they were both bursting into laughter again. Phil blinked a few times before his cheeks went bright red, and then he was turning away from all of their friends and marching straight off to the lake. "Fuck off," he muttered, even as he could feel that same warm feeling in his belly building. He was very, very much into Dan and all of his kisses, and right now, all he could think about was getting him into a bed again.

Dan watched in amusement as Phil walked away from their little group to the lake. He was pleased with himself for having left Phil so dazed by his kiss that he went speechless. It was the most amazing feeling in the world to have someone be as smitten with him as Phil was of him, and he found himself trailing behind Phil, wanting to be by his side like a loyal dog. "Go get a room!" Caleb called at Dan, just as Dan flipped him off and began walking next to Phil's side. He grabbed Phil's hand and rested his head on his shoulder, looking up at him and pouting out his lip. "Love me?" Dan whined without thinking, a common phrase he often said to his friends when they were annoyed with him. Immediately after he said it, he blinked, realizing the weight of his words. What would Phil even say to something like that? They'd never said they loved each other before, so if Phil had said something to that effect, would he mean it or would he just be responding to Dan in a joking manner?

Phil would never shrug Dan's advances off, so even though he was slightly embarrassed and very annoyed he'd been so caught up in Dan, he accepted his hand and the way he leaned into Phil graciously, relaxing under the touch - or at least, right up until Dan whined the "L" word at him, and then Phil's breathing practically stopped. He tripped over his own two feet, sending Dan a look as his cheeks went dark red. Did Dan know? Did Dan mean that? How was Phil meant to respond? He was nervous, hands feeling like they were about to start sweating any minute now, because he'd already come to terms with the fact that he might just very well be in love with Dan already. Talking about it so soon, though? Yeah, Phil hadn't been anticipating that. Dan wasn't looking at him, though, seeming just as embarrassed as Phil that he'd thrown that phrase around so carelessly, and somehow, that helped Phil to make his decision. He didn't have to say the words, but he definitely wanted Dan to know he meant what he was about to say. Drawing up short, Phil pulled Dan properly into his arms, and leaned in close to his ear. Smirking, he murmured "I do," as sincerely as he could, voice throaty with how much he meant the words.

Dan was opening his mouth to take the words back, to apologize for even uttering such a sentence, but then Phil was stopping them. He took Dan into his arms, his eyes full of affection for Dan and a smirk on his lips. When he leaned in, Dan's heart stuttered and he could feel himself getting embarrassed, Phil’s lips brushing against Dan's ear when he spoke. The words sent a tingle down Dan's spine. So Phil didn't actually say the words, so did that mean he was just teasing? He certainly sounded like he'd meant it, his voice throaty and deep, hands holding Dan close to him. But they hadn't even said those words yet to each other so maybe Dan was just overreacting. If it had been one of his friends, he'd have brushed it off already, said something equally as sarcastic back. But with Phil? His head was spinning and he wanted Phil to whisper those words in his ear for the rest of time. And he also wanted to drag Phil back to the cabin, Phil whispering in his ear about how much he supposedly loved Dan while Dan marked him up. He shivered. He could not get excited right now. So instead, he shoved those feelings away and dragged Phil into a kiss, hands on Phil's lovely hips. He didn't say anything back, instead opting for putting his emotions into the kiss and hoping with all his heart that Phil meant what he'd said, hoping that Phil could tell he felt the same.

Dan only hesitated a second before he was pulling back from Phil's arms and dragging him into a kiss, hands on Phil's hips squeezing softly as he tilted his head and pressed into Phil, clearly wanting to show him something. Did that mean Dan felt the same? Phil had always been afraid of this, always been afraid it would happen to fast, and yet he did finally get that love kind of just snuck up on you. As his eyes closed and he kind of hummed into Dan's mouth, he wondered if now was the time to just say it, rather than just teasing it at Dan. But then their friends were there, slapping Phil on the back and complaining that the two needed to stop making out every few steps or they'd never make it to the lake, and the moment was broken. Dan pulled away, laughing, and Phil was left breathless and dizzy all over again, heart in his throat and mind on nothing but Dan.

Dan never did get the chance to find out if Phil had meant that he loved him. Instead, his friends were interrupting them and he couldn't tell if he was disappointed or relieved. He was always stupidly nervous about his feelings, a bit insecure and wondering if he actually felt what his body was trying to tell him or if it was simply his mind trying to trick him. He pulled away from Phil, breathless and giggling from the sudden swell of happiness in his chest. He barely registered what their friends were saying but allowed them to lead him to the lake anyways, towards the little area filled with canoes and people trying to figure out how to work them. Luckily for Dan, Kim and Mariah paired up, leaving Phil and Dan to their own canoe. "You ever done this before?" Dan asked Phil as he hopped in one of them, extending a hand to his boyfriend to help him inside as well. "They're pretty relaxing but a bit hard to get used to. I'm looking forward to watching you struggle as you try to figure out how to make it move." He grinned cheekily at Phil, winking playfully.

Phil was still reeling from the emotion swirling between him and Dan, so when they finally reached the lake, it took him a moment to register that Dan had said anything. When he did, though, he shoved at his boyfriend, grinning and shaking his head. "Idiot," he complained. "I go canoeing with my family at least once a year. I bet I'm better at it then you," he teased, wrestling Dan back into his arms and catching him in a quick headlock that Dan pushed him out of. He was grinning, though, a good sign. and Phil laughed as Dan went to shove him back. "Stop it. Don't you want to canoe with me? You can sit between my legs again," he said, smirking.

"Hey, I bet I'm great at canoeing!" Dan complained, pushing Phil away as they wrestled for a moment. He pressed his lips together and hummed at Phil's suggestion. Honestly, the sound of that was pretty tempting. He liked sitting between Phil's legs, and he wouldn't say no when it involved cuddling with his boyfriend. "Fine, but you have to do all the work since you're so good at it," Dan teased, kissing Phil on the cheek. He allowed Phil to sit down in the canoe before he situated himself in his position, snuggling himself in Phil's arms and loving the way he could feel Phil's bare chest pressing against his back. He would never get used to having Phil's naked skin touching his, and he wanted nothing more than to reenact their endeavors from yesterday. That could come later, he supposed. For now, he was going to enjoy the way the canoe felt gliding against the water, and how Phil felt bigger than him for once.

The second they were settled in the canoe together, Phil was temporarily wrapping his arms around Dan's waist to drag him in closer to his chest, nuzzling at his neck for a moment and pressing a kiss there before letting him go. "Comfortable?" he asked, personally enjoying the way it felt to have Dan in the small boat with him, pressed to Phil's chest, warm and alive. He grinned at him being there, and started to row, wanting to get them out and into the middle of the lake so they could enjoy their time alone for a little bit.

"You're always comfortable," Dan told Phil. He whined a bit as Phil let go of him to start rowing and ended up making eye contact with Mariah, who wriggled her eyebrows suggestively at them. In response, Dan rolled his eyes and settled further into Phil's chest, resting his head there. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of the wind on his face and the way the canoe was gliding gently over the water. He could hear Phil's heartbeat, relaxing him further. He stayed like that for a moment, enjoying their time, before growing a bit antsy at their lack of talking or moving. Opening his eyes, he sat up and glanced around, grinning. "What would you do if the canoe rocked so hard that we tipped over?" Dan asked nonchalantly. Then, because he was an asshole, he put his hands on either side of the canoe and started to rock back and forth as hard as he could. He could hear Phil whining at him to stop, trying to keep them moving, but he didn't listen. He was giggling as the canoe rocked, but didn't tip, seemingly trying to stay upright as best as it could.

Phil's eye's went wide when Dan suddenly moved, reaching out to both sides of the canoe and rocking so hard, Phil was certain it was going to tip. "Stop!" he whined. "Dan, stop it!!" He was laughing, the sound of his plea's interrupted by it, causing Dan to laugh as well. "You're gonna tip us, why would you want to do that!?" he complained, but he didn't really mind, was, in fact, having far too much fun to care. His hands worked furiously on the ores, trying to keep their balance as best he could - and then it happened. The canoe tipped over, and both men plummeted into the lake below with loud gasps. Phil was more surprised than Dan, eyes wide open and chilled to the bone in seconds. Dan, meanwhile, was nowhere to be found while Phil scrambled to reach the top of the water again, breaking the surface and inhaling deeply once he got there. "Dan?" he called, confused and maybe a little concerned. Their canoe was stranded in the water beside them, both ore's beginning to float apart from each other. "Dan?" Phil called again.

Dan had a plan. He giggled thinking about it, ignoring Phil's pleas for him to stop. "It's fun!" he exclaimed, rocking the canoe harder, basically throwing himself against the side. And as soon as the canoe tipped, he was grinning, listening to Phil's loud gasp as the realization set in that they were actually falling. And then, he hit the water with a loud splash, the canoe practically flinging away from them both with the force of their fall. Dan was prepared, holding his breath so he didn't get water in his nose, and then he was in the water. He didn't give himself time to digest that he was in the water, instead hiding behind the canoe before Phil even came up for air. He made sure he was out of sight, holding a hand to his mouth to stop the giggles from overflowing. He heard Phil calling for him, his voice concerned, and Dan decided not to let it go on for too long before he revealed himself. Peeking out from the side of the canoe, he saw that Phil's back was turned towards him, looking around, and Dan decided to strike. As quietly as he could, he went underwater, swimming towards where Phil was floating in the water, and then he grabbed Phil's leg, yanking him a little bit before surfacing, laughing wildly as Phil let out a surprised scream. "Got you!" he squealed, clinging onto Phil by wrapping his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck.

Phil was really starting to panic. What if Dan had gotten himself stuck at the bottom of the lake or something? Just as he was about to dive back under the water and look for Dan himself, something - or rather someone - grabbed his leg, and he squealed so loudly it echoed around the lake. The only reason the didn't attract any attention was the fact that the everyone was doing much the same thing. Phil kicked and spluttered as he was nearly dragged back under water, and then, there was Dan, clinging to Phil's back like a monkey, arms around his neck and legs around his waist, entire soaking wet body pressed to Phil's. It was... wonderful, even as Phil continued to splutter and wipe at his face where water had gotten into his eyes from his near death experience. "Asshole!" he whined, but he didn't really mean it, turning his head so he was facing Dan's neck, as Dan was so high up on him that his head was far above Phil's own. The sight of dark red hickey's covering his neck made Phil groan, and he turned to forcefully dislodge Dan from his position on his back, dragging them both under water for a second. When they resurfaced, it was only for Phil to take Dan's cheeks in hand, and kiss him.

In only a second, Phil was trying to dislodge Dan from his back, wrestling him until they were both under water for a split second. Dan scrunched up his face when he surfaced, but it was immediately smoothed again when Phil grabbed his cheeks and brought him into a kiss. His lips were cold, wet from the lake water, but it was still perfect to Dan nonetheless. He hummed into the kiss, one hand dragging Phil closer by the waist while the other tried to keep them afloat in the water. Their chests were flushed together, and it was the most amazing feeling in the entire world to have Phil wet and pressed up against him. He was enjoying himself so much that he didn't notice when Kim and Mariah came up beside them until a large wave of water splashed them in the face. Dan coughed and spluttered, glaring at the giggling girls. "No PDA in the lake, losers!" Mariah told him, winking. "Fuck off!" Dan whined and then kissed Phil again just because he could.

Dan wrapping his arm around Phil's waist only encouraged him, and he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Their chests were pressed hard together, naked and flush, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world - until someone ruined it by throwing a wave of water over both of them, drenching them both and making Phil sputter as he pulled away. Dan wasn't doing much better than him, but he seemed able to rein himself in quicker than Phil as they both turned to find the perpetrators were their two friends, giggling and with their own overturned canoe settled somewhere behind them. Phil had hardly caught his breath again before Dan was dragging him in for round two, much to the distress of their friends, and Phil merely melted into it. He let out a soft sigh of surprise, and then he was just letting Dan kiss him, enjoying the way it felt to have Dan biting and pulling on his lip, grinning against his lips like he was proud of the way he could both piss off their friends and make Phil go limp underneath him. Phil was absolutely pliant and willing, desperate for more, and so he groaned when Dan pulled their mouths apart. Phil went ahead and let his forehead collapse against Dan's shoulder, kicking his feet to stay afloat. "Not fair. Stop interrupting us," Phil complained. "Dan's meant to defile me."

Dan flushed red at Phil's words, giggling. Phil's forehead was pressed against Dan's shoulder, so he tangled his fingers through Phil's wet hair, practically petting him. Phil wanted Dan to defile him? He shivered, not knowing whether it was from the coldness of the water or from Phil's words, but his thoughts were pointing towards the latter. Mariah and Kim were howling in laughter behind them, teasing them, and Dan just wanted to drag Phil away and continue what he'd started. "I can't believe you guys interrupted my chance!" Dan joked towards his friends, giving them a playful glare. Mariah giggled and gave him an apologetic look that wasn't exactly sorry in the slightest. "Sorry, Dan. I just figured you wouldn’t want to lose your virginity in a lake in front of other campers." Dan's face flamed red and he glared at her, probably looking like an embarrassed dog rather than anything threatening in the slightest. He didn't have anything to say in response to that, so he just said, "fuck off." Great comeback, Dan.

Phil closed his eyes at the feeling of Dan pressing his fingers through his hair, and just kind of let the motion take over him. He could feel it everywhere, the way it felt to have Dan touching him, petting him, and he was happy. So happy. Even as their friends joked and made fun of them behind him. "They're just jealous," Phil stated loudly. "I think Mariah secretly wants to be the one to take your virginity. Too bad she's already too late," Phil declared. Dan sputtered and shoved Phil away, who curled into himself he was laughing so hard, and then Mariah was here too, grasping playfully at Phil's shoulders and shaking him aggressively. "Not true! I just don't want to ever have to see his naked ass anywhere let alone when he's taking it up the bum!" Phil couldn't help choking at that, but he was still laughing, dizzy with the way Mariah was shaking him. "That's my brother you're talking about! Watch your mouth, Lester!"

This conversation needed to stop. Dan didn't think he could turn any redder, but he was once again proved wrong as Phil implied that he'd already taken Dan's virginity. He groaned, shoving Phil away unhappily. While the thought of having sex with Phil was definitely pleasant, he didn't ever want to hear the jokes their friends were going to throw at him. And he was correct in his assumptions, Mariah immediately beginning to shake Phil and screaming about how she didn't want to see Dan 'taking it up the bum'. He crossed his arms and pouted at her. "Hey!" he whined. "Who says I'd be the one taking it? I would totally top!" Mariah snorted and released Phil from her grasp, turning a skeptical eye on Dan. "Yeah right! Have you seen yourself? You've definitely got the looks of a bossy bottom." She then mimicked what Dan would apparently sound like, making gaudy noises. "Oh, Phil! Faster, faster!" Dan splashed her and she stopped, coughing as water got into her mouth. It caused a war between the two, and Dan ended up cackling as he tried his hardest to dunk her under water.

The minute the splash fight started, Phil was ducking under the water for his revenge. Dan had gotten him bad, earlier, but now, it was Phil's turn. As his boyfriend's feet kicked underwater, Phil approached him as quickly as he could and caught one of his feet, yanking hard and watching as Dan descended, whirling about in confusion. Grinning to himself, Phil let go of Dan's foot and reached for him, wrapping his arms around Dan's waist and dragging the confused boy into his body. Phil knew he only had so much air to keep him going down here, and Dan probably less so when he'd been taken by surprise, so he pressed in close and nudged Dan's lips with his, close-mouthed and very, very cold, but pleased with himself nonetheless before he let Dan go and kicked himself back to the surface.

"Shove your dumb jokes up your ass!" Dan shouted at Mariah, trying to dodge from another splash she sent his way. She screeched as he did the same to her, getting her right in the face. "What, like Phil sticks his dick up your ass?!" she shot back, a playful glint in her eye. Dan opened his mouth to retaliate, but before he could, there was a hand around his leg, dragging him under water. He had a moment of realization where he took a deep breath, and then he was plunged under the surface. He squeezed his eyes shut and recognized Phil's arms weaving around his waist, pulling him close under the water. His lungs were already burning when Phil pressed their lips together, very briefly and very cold, and then he was letting Dan go, letting him breech the surface again. He took a deep breath as soon as he got to air, dragging it into his lungs thankfully and shaking his head like a dog. Water sprayed everywhere, making his friends yelp. "Ugh, you guys are too cute for your own good," Kim complained, and Dan grinned, looking around for Phil. He found him a few feet away, making love eyes at him. "I know we are," Dan said smugly, winking at his boyfriend.

Phil couldn't help it. He was completely, completely in love with Dan, and every single part of him ached to go and hold him again, but he was holding himself back, knowing the PDA was probably becoming too much for their friends, annoying and probably a bit overwhelming. Besides, Dan seemed a little annoyed with him about the sex jokes, and despite having kissed him, Phil thought they might each need a second. "I can't help the fact that he's my favorite person," Phil replied, and grinned as their friends complained. They all hung around in the water for a while longer, talking and teasing each other a bit, with Kim complaining that Mariah had no idea what she was doing, and Dan crowing about how good at canoeing Phil was. It made Phil's cheeks go bright red, but he was proud that his boyfriend would want to show him off nonetheless. Eventually, though, Kim and Mariah decided to go back and try their hand at rowing again, Dan and Phil turning back to their own abandoned canoe as well.

After they grew tired and Dan's fingers turned pruney from the water, they decided to actually start doing their designated activity again. Dan helped Phil get into the canoe first, and then grabbed Phil's hand to hoist himself in, basically sprawling the length of the canoe as soon as he was inside. The sun was so bright, so hot, and Dan could already feel himself getting a sunburn. Combined with the hickies all over his body, Dan was probably going to come out of camp the shade of a fucking tomato. "Row me away, Prince Charming," Dan yawned, waving his hand as he ordered Phil to do all the work. Phil chuckled and he saw him shake his head affectionately, obeying nonetheless and putting the ores in the water. Dan moved a bit so he could lay his head on Phil's lap, now tired from the exercise they'd done. Whenever he was sleepy, he always got overly snuggly, but he knew Phil wouldn't mind.

It wasn't even noon yet, and Dan was curling into Phil's lap, cuddling up to him and curving his body around the space of the canoe in order to do it. Phil didn't mind. He stared fondly down at his boyfriend, content and happy that he had someone like this in his life that wanted something like this with Phil. Phil, of all people. He couldn't be any happier as he slowly paddled them around the lake, turning his gaze up to the rising sun with a smile on his face, grateful for all that he had. He loved Dan Howell, as cheesy and ridiculous as it might sound. The Phil of three weeks ago never would have believed such a thing was possible so fast, but Phil had had to spend every day of the last few weeks with this boy, had grown to know more about him than he knew about almost anyone else - in fact, Phil had grown to know all of their friends better than he'd known anyone else. Love wasn't so far out of the realm of possibilities, even when he felt silly thinking it. His heart was singing with the knowledge of it when he looked down at Dan again. The words pressed to the tip of his tongue, but he didn't say anything. "You're getting a sunburn," he ended up whispering once they'd done a complete lap of the lake. "You sleeping, baby?"

From the heat of the sun, the feel of Phil against him, and the way the canoe was bobbing peacefully on the water, Dan could feel himself begin to doze off. He was in his happy place, right where he wanted to be forever. Phil's lap was the most comfortable place in the world, Dan decided, his eyes drooping closed. He was only interrupted by Phil speaking a while later, and Dan nearly didn't hear him. He hummed a bit, not caring enough to move, but then Phil was speaking once more, a pet name falling from his tongue, and Dan felt more awake than he had in years. Phil had called him baby. Phil bad called him baby. He felt as if he was soaring high in the sky, a smile taking over his face. He turned his head to glance up at Phil, grinning happily and trying to squint through the sun. "Baby?" Dan asked softly, wiping his eyes and yawning. He certainly felt like a baby right then. "I like being your baby. You feel good. Make a nice pillow." He probably wasn't making sense, his words coming out in half sentences, but he didn't care. He was comfortable and Phil really was the best pillow. "'M sleepy."

It wasn't until Dan was turning a sunny smile up to Phil and murmuring about how he liked being Phil's baby that Phil realized Dan had been using the term for them for so long because he liked it. All this time, Phil had been making fun of him. He felt badly about it for only a second, and then he was grinning, wishing he could reach down and press his fingers through Dan's curly fringe. He loved Dan's curly hair, and the dimple in his cheek when he smiled like that. "Baby," Phil agreed, the words soft and heartfelt. He could feel so much welling in his chest, bursting to get free, and he wished they could go off on their own for a bit so Phil could kiss him some more. Chuckling as Dan admitted to being sleepy, Phil finally brought their canoe to a stop, and drew the paddles in to the sides of the boat. Once settled in, he finally reached down and pressed his fingers through Dan's fringe the way he'd wanted too, tugging lightly, but mostly just petting. "Take a nap, then. Just till lunch. I'll be your pillow," he murmured, smiling sweetly down at Dan.

Dan's eyes fluttered as Phil stroked a hand through his hair. When Phil was doing that, how could he stay awake when the gesture felt so relaxing? "But won't you be bored?" Dan asked, pouting a lip out. He didn't have to worry for long though, because Phil was then assuring him that he wouldn't be bored, that he'd be happy as long as Dan was fine with taking a nap. So he smiled and sat up for a split second, long enough to press a kiss to Phil's lips. It wasn't exactly the best kiss Dan could have given him, but it still made his heart flutter wonderfully as he settled back into Phil's lap. "Fine. But wake me up in a bit, okay?" Using Phil's thighs as pillows, Dan allowed himself to relax fully, falling into a restful nap with a gentle smile on his face. He was so lucky.

Phil jumped at the chance to have Dan napping against him, and so he ended up quickly reassuring Dan that the last thing he would be was bored - and how could he be? Once Dan had leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Phil's lips, settling back in and drifting back to sleep nearly immediately, Phil was staring down at him and watching the way his chest rose and feel evenly. There was something so soft about a sleeping Dan that made Phil's heart thrum, and he smiled down at him while Dan slept, still stroking fingers through his hair. There was nothing boring about this - about thinking about Dan, and the stories he'd told him, the things he'd been through. There was nothing boring about watching the way his eyelashes fluttered, or tracing patterns in his skin with the fingers of his other hand on Dan's side. Phil felt nothing but love for this boy, and because he could, because he felt safe, he opened his mouth and tentatively whispered "I love you," to the sleeping boy in his lap. Once the words were out, however, Phil tensed, eyes going wide and heart racing hard in his chest. He waited for some kind of reaction - positive or negative, Phil wasn't sure - for a good two minutes before he was able to relax again, body unfreezing and fingers going back to stroking over Dan's skin lightly. For the moment, Phil was safe. But he wanted to tell Dan. He wanted his boyfriend to know that Phil was in this for the long run. He just didn’t know when.

Dan didn't know how long he'd been sleeping for when Phil finally woke him up. He blinked his eyes open blearily, dazed and confused of his whereabouts for a few moments before realizing that he was still on the canoe with his face pillowed on Phil's thighs. Turning his head slightly, he lightly kissed Phil's thigh before sitting up. His bones cracked deliciously as he moved and he stretched his muscles out, raising his arms over his head. Finally, he turned to look at Phil, who was staring at him with a slight smile on his lips. "Morning," he greeted, leaning forward to kiss Phil. He hummed into the kiss, enjoying it while they could, and licking into Phil's mouth. When he pulled away, he was already flustered and out of breath and was overcome with the urge to continue snogging Phil. But he didn't because lunch was sadly a thing. "Ready for food, sweetheart?" he asked sweetly, batting his eyelashes.

It was hardly fair for Dan to kiss him like that, especially when he'd just woken up and the lunch bell had just gone. They didn't have time for more than the quick snog, and Phil craved Dan's lips, the way his tongue felt when it pressed inside of Phil's lips, licking along his lips and tongue... Phil sighed, raking fingers through his hair, and snorted as Dan called him sweetheart while batting his eyelashes. "Idiot," he complained affectionately, grabbing the ore's and getting ready to row them back to shore. "Rather eat you," he teased, to which Dan shoved him, but his boyfriend was grinning so that was all that mattered to Phil. They got back to shore a while after the other's, as Phil had waited for Dan to come awake before turning in, but once there, Mariah and Kim trotted up to them and started talking about their escapades again all the way to the cabins. They split ways again to shower and get changed, but once that was done, they were all coming together again with the addition of Caleb, as they headed back to the cafe. Phil's stomach rumbled, and he realized how hungry he was, mind completely set on food for the first time all day.

(Next) 

[1inawesomewonder]

(L-R) Max Lajeunesse (A), Ethan Smith, Bethany Roun (trainer), Noah Charron (C), Brett Branscum, Michael Fortin. (Photo by Charron)

Last night on the hilltop, as some say, the Grizzlies hosted their final regular season hockey game of the 2017-18 season. It was also Senior Night, a chance to recognize Goffstown’s 5 seniors on this year’s varsity squad. The opponent was Merrimack, a team that these senior’s had never beaten (0-4) coming into their final regular season home game.

The starting five skaters for the Grizzlies against Merrimack. (Photo by Charron)

The Grizzlies played well enough to beat a very competitive Merrimack Tomahawks squad. Goffstown scored 5 times and peppered 38 shots at Greg Amato in Merrimack’s net. Goffstown allowed only 16 shots to reach Madeline Sage in net for the Grizzlies. I would like to say that Goffstown played swarming defense to limit the number of shots on goal, and while that’s partly true, their best defense was often spending time forcing Amato to make save after save. The Tomahawks were very quick in transition from defense to offense and Goffstown wasn’t always ready to defend against their breakout (a problem that showed up against Alvirne and Kingswood). I found it ironic, but mostly telling about how deep and good Goffstown can be, that on senior night, the Grizzlies got five goals, one from a junior, three from sophomores, and one from the freshmen.

Grizzlies finally beat Merrimack! Great team effort. (Photo by M. Sage)

Nobody I talked to upstairs could remember the last time Goffstown beat Merrimack in hockey. I know for certain that this senior class hadn’t beaten them yet. And when the Tomahawks scored just 37 seconds into the game, on a long shot from center ice, that got through Sage in net, those questionable thoughts started forming a dark cloud in the corner of my brain. Last year, when Goffstown went to Merrimack on their senior night and scored a single goal on 40 shots, while allowing 4 goals on 11 shots again, ya, I thought of that. Anyways, the goal was scored by Hunter Burke from outside the blue line, assisted by Regan Sedlar. But, Goffstown just went to work, shift after shift, work. Five minutes in, Griffin Cook and Sebastian Beal worked a beautiful 2-on-1 all the way up ice, passing back and forth to each other, before Greg Amato made a great save to keep Goffstown off of the board.

Evan McCuaig pitched in with a goal and an assist in the GTown win over Merrimack. (Photo by Charron)

Less than two minutes later with the MGM line working the puck through the zone, Max Lajeuness was wide open in the slot but fanned on a one-time attempt set up by great passing. Then at 7:39 the Grizzlies broke through when Sebastian Beal fed a pass, that somehow eluded two Merrimack defenders, to Noah Charron out front. Charron got a backhand shot off, that hit Amato in the shoulder and bounced in the crease. Griffin Cook pounced on the rebound and put it in the net before Amato could scramble from whence he came. Cook, from Beal and Charron.

A minute or so later, Merrimack answered to take a 2-1 lead. Zach Stimeling took a bouncing puck from the end boards and threw a bounce pass toward the front of the net. Dominic Corozza took the pass at the side of the net before Maddie Sage could cover it, and drifted to the crease to bury the puck into the wide open net. There were no Goffstown defensemen anywhere near the front of the net on the play. At 11:36 of the opening period, Colby Gamache galloped through center ice to snag a loose puck along the right wing boards.

Every team must work the boards to win pucks that matter, game in and game out. (Photo by Charron)

Gamache kept his speed, angled toward the faceoff dot, and let a wrist shot go from the edge of the low circle (tough angle) before Merrimack’s defenseman Joe Pillsbury could catch him. The shot beat Amato between his rib cage and the post, just under his glove, and found the strings to tie the game at 2-2. The score would hold for period one, and Goffstown outshot their opponent 11-7.

There was only one goal in the middle period, and if you didn’t get back to your seat in time, or blinked, you missed it. Evan McCuaig let a long shot fly that caught Amato moving left to right and somehow kicked off of the inside of his right pad and into the net. McCuaig’s second goal of the season gave the Grizzlies a 3-2 lead just 0:08 into the period. A couple of minutes later the CBC line stormed the offensive zone for what seemed like a long time but did everything but score. Sebastian Beal sent a shot wide of the net after a brilliant set up by Noah Charron and Griffin Cook. On the same possession some 20 seconds later Griffin Cook was robbed by superhuman save from Amato.

The Grizzlies are back on D, or at least defending beside Merrimack players. (Photo by Charron)

The Grizzlies would get two power play chances in the second half of the period but aside from a lot of shots, could not beat Amato. After two periods, Goffstown led 3-2, and had a huge 24-12 advantage in shots on goal.

Much of my being felt that despite the great play of the Grizzlies in the middle period, that this game was far from over, and that Merrimack would be heard from again. Well it didn’t take long, at 1:05 of the period Steve Licata scored from out high, unassisted, to tie the game at 3-3. Two and a half minutes later, Merrimack took a 4-3 lead at 3:57 when Zach Stimeling scored from Regan Sedlar. Sedlar took a slashing penalty at 4:21, his third minor of the night, and Goffstown went on the power play. This time the Grizzlies cashed in when a sophomore and a pair of freshmen made a great play to beat Amato. Grady Chretien circled out of the right wing circle and banked a pass back to Evan McCuaig at the right point. McCuaig stepped in and let a wrist shot go towards the net. Colby Gamache, in the slot, deflected the shot and the puck found the net behind Amato. Power play goal for the Grizzlies and the game was tied 8:49 to play.

Theo Milianes netted the game-winner with less than five minutes to play. (Photo by Charron)

Theo Milianes is a good hockey player, and I constantly find myself hoping he’ll apply himself more aggressively into the flow of any given game. That is not a knock, I just like his skill set and would like to see more of it. That said, few of us would pick him for the role he played last night, but what do we know. At 10:28 of the final period, Milianes rifled a beautiful shot into the net after being set up by Brett Branscum, and the Grizzlies were back on top, 5-4. Merrimack called their timeout after the goal. Their comeback bid was slowed some by taking another penalty and the Grizzlies were on the power play. Goffstown couldn’t score despite Colin Burke hitting the post with a shot at 12:38. At 13:50 the Tomahawks pulled Greg Amato from the net to get the extra skater on. With 9 second left in the game Colby Gamache took a roughing penalty, giving Merrimack a 6-on-4 advantage. Goffstown held off the Tomahawks, and held on for the win. Theo Milianes got the game-winner for the second game in a row. The Goffstown Grizzlies, their coaching staff, and the entire program earned their 14th win of the regular season.

Colby Gamache came up huge scoring his 8th and 9th goals for the Grizzlies. (Photo by Charron)

It was the first time a Goffstown hockey team has won 14 regular season games in program history. Goffstown outshot Merrimack 38-16 but that was just a piece of the story. It’s also worth noting (I, think) that in a tie game on senior night, late in the third period, Goffstown rolled it’s third line. It’s a team sport, and season’s take contributions from every single member of a team no matter the size of the contribution, they all matter, they all add up.

Goffstown travels to #1 Keene (12-1-1) on Wednesday night at 6:10pm to play at Keene Ice. Based on my figuring, Dover and St. Thomas cannot both finish ahead of Goffstown, even if Goffstown lost to #1 Keene and #3 Windham this week, because they play each other tomorrow night. That means (to me) that Goffstown has clinched a top 4 seed in the tournament. Furthermore, the Grizzlies have never been seeded higher than #3 (2010 lost in Semi-Finals) in their history. This team has a chance to do so, but I think we’d all agree that a longer run in the post-season is more important than the seed we get.

Max Lajeunesse has been a huge part of Goffstown’s potent offense this season. (Photo by Charron)

Griffin Cook got Goffstown on the board with his 15th goal of the season. (Photo by Charron)

Jacob Noonan has been a solid defender for the Grizzlies this season. (Photo by Charron)

Merrimack was focused on stopping Noah Charron and the CBC line last night. (Photo by Charron)

Sebastian Beal operates from behind the net against Merrimack. (Photo by Charron)

Michael Fortin brought his high energy game to the ice last night. (Photo by Charron)

NHIAA Hockey:

Updated records.

Goffstown (14-2) vs. Merrimack (4-10-1)

Sullivan Arena, St. Anselm College, Goffstown, NH February 18, 2018. 5:00PM Start:

Summary:

Goals:

Goffstown: 2-1-2 = 5

Merrimack: 2-0-2 = 4

Shots:

Goffstown: 11-13-14 = 38 Merrimack: 07-05-04 = 16

Scoring:

1st Merrimack at 0:37. Even. Hunter Burke from Regan Sedlar.

1st Goffstown at 7:39. Even. Griffin Cook (15) from Noah Charron (18) and Sebastian Beal (20).

1st Merrimack at 8:41. Even. Dominic Carozza from Zach Stimeling.

1st Goffstown at 11:36. Even. Colby Gamache (8) unassisted.

2nd Goffstown at 0:08. Even. Evan McCuaig (2) from Colin Burke (20) and Noah Charron (19).

3rd Merrimack at 1:05. Even. Steve Licata unassisted.

3rd Merrimack at 3:57. Even. Zach Stimeling from Regan Sedlar.

3rd Goffstown at 6:11. PPG. Colby Gamache (9) from Evan McCuaig (5) and Grady Chretien (6).

3rd Goffstown at 10:28. Even. Theo Milianes (2) from Brett Branscum (12).

Special Teams:

Goffstown Power Play: 1 for 4. Merrimack Power Play: 0 for 2.

Saves:

Goffstown: Madeline Sage 12 of 16. (45:00)

Merrimack: Greg Amato 33 of 38. (43:50)

In the News:

WMUR Sports

                    Noah was all wound up against the Tomahawks. (Photo by Charron)

Hockey: Merrimack 4 at Goffstown 5 Last night on the hilltop, as some say, the Grizzlies hosted their final regular season hockey game of the 2017-18 season.