#and also i think nobody would see it coming

[azzandra]

Aw, man, can't believe it's been two years since I wrote that.

When I reblogged and added my little commentary, I actually hadn't anticipated my comment to be reblogged by more than a couple of mutuals or be seen outside of my followers. I was just sharing a term that popped up in my head as a joke.

If I knew this glib comment I dashed off one morning without much thought was going to breach containment and take on a life of its own, I probably would have added a few disclaimers.

Since then, I've seen some people miss the point about what I was talking about in a few huge ways, so I'll clarify now a few points:

I have nothing against the cockroach wife dude.

I don't know if that story is true or not (there are some weird people out in the world, so I won't dismiss it out of hand, but like. come on) and I sincerely do not care that his spankbank was exclusively taken up by a cockroach woman. The part of his tale that we should take as a parable is where he solely and without being forced by anyone else hinged his entire sexuality around an imaginary construct that then made him incapable of being attracted to real human women. Remember, his story starts with him complaining that he can't get it up with his human girlfriend without picturing her as a huge cockroach. He did that. Nobody forced him to develop this condition. This is a lesson for the rest of us.

people going 'I think they're both pretty!' like that's the centrist silver bullet to this phenomenon.

Listen, yeah. I agree. Both versions are meant to be attractive, just to wildly different demographics. You know who doesn't agree? The guys I'm talking about.

The dudes I am referencing do NOT think both characters are attractive to different people. They think the original is attractive to NOBODY, and everyone else in the world is just PRETENDING that the first one is attractive in any way, and they're convinced everyone else also objectively knows the original art is ugly but there's a conspiracy to subject poor defenseless heterosexual men to pictures of butt-ugly women in order to brainwash them or something.

The guys afflicted with Cockroach Wife Syndrome are on some gamerbro qanon shit where their perception of reality is slanted to a comical degree, but they think their experiences are objective and unbiased, and they're making it everyone else's problem.

people smugly going 'OP has an anime girl in their icon' like that's some sort of gotcha

Yeah, man, I'm not opposed to anime girls. I'm not even opposed to hentai, or blender porn, or masturbation. I think everyone deserves to masturbate if they want to, and the way the world is going, we all probably deserve to masturbate a lot more (porn addiction isn't a real thing, my dudes). I accept that some people are going to jerk it to stuff that I don't find attractive, and maybe consider repulsive, and that's just going to be a fact of life from here unto eternity. We all need to come to terms to that.

But the Cockroach Wife Syndrome sufferers do NOT want to accept it. They want the entire world to have only one porn preference that aligns neatly to their own, and also they want all fictional depictions of women everywhere to adhere precisely to their porn preference.

And like, why would we do what these guys say? Now, me, personally, each time I see one of their yassified sexy edits of an already pretty female character, it always looks like the tackiest shit to me, like they're a toddler who got into mommy's make-up. I want to start a GoFundMe to send them to beautician school. I don't care how much they screech about it, they cannot convince me their aesthetic tastes are something to emulate, so I coined this term for them just so I had a name for their obnoxious behavior.

All that being said, in the time since I wrote this post, I discovered it gained some traction outside of tumblr. "Cockroach Wife Syndrome" was added to Urban Dictionary. There are people slinging around the term on twitter. I personally got jumpscared by running into it in the wild on reddit, which was how I found out people are actually using it. Honestly, I am not that hyped about this being my legacy (and I am so sorry to the OP of this post that I got them stuck with seeing every reply or tag someone ever makes about the cockroach wife guy, like I'm some malevolent storytime cuckoo who dropped disturbing internet tales in their nest). But ultimately, I think this one is actually on the thousands of people who reblogged it and considered that I described a phenomenon that they also observed.

Y'all stay safe out there, and remember to vary your masturbation material once in a while.

i wish i could see this picture for the first time again

[bbokicidal]

Who You Are | SKZ [B.C]

a new mini-series where I list some random head canons about the boys based on facts we know about them/can catch onto from media.

genre: fluff / tiny angst pairing: Bangchan x GN!Reader warnings: none

I just noticed there's some like. random facts/things the boys do/how they behave that aren't really talked about in fics on here so I'm doing a mini-series to fix that.

Chan | Lino | Changbin | Hyune | Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

Something more commonly known - This man is SUPER into hugs! Affection in general, but HUGS. Even if it's just hanging on you, he's always happy to be hugging you whether it's something casual and he's just holding on for fun - or if it's more intimate or even comforting. He just really, really likes having you in his arms whenever he can.

Please bake for him. Lix doesn't have a lot of free time these days so his baking duties go to you instead - especially when Chan is whining quietly to himself that the cookies he bought from the store are too hard for his liking. Make him soft cookies - the chocolate chip ones that are gooey, fall apart and melt on his tongue. He wants those types of cookies, please.~

His 'I need to be behind everyone so I can see where they're at' habit also goes for you as well. Whether you're with the group or on your own, Chan's always walking either right beside you or behind you. He loves holding your hand and being close to you of course but he almost prefers walking behind you sometimes because he can actually see you without having to turn his head or side eye you like he's judging whatever it is you're doing. He just needs to have you in his eyesight if you're out and about - who knows what could happen.

If you need something fixed - he's your guy! The boys have said before that Chan is a great mechanic when it comes to fixing wiring for electronics, if a TV or computer isn't working, even other household appliances. And when he's done fixing it all up, he'll organize the cords so that they're neat and aren't too tangled. He leaves it looking brand new every time, even if your television is almost 8 years old. (He gives it a little clean while he's there.)

Chan is wildly good at pretending that he isn't sick even if he is. Or, worse off, while he's injured. Sometimes he overdoes it while working out or maybe he just slipped up and dropped a weight or his wrist bent when he was boxing with Minho; Either way, he is too good at hiding the pain he's enduring. The only time he's open about it and vocalizes how much he's hurting is if it's something more severe; And even then you have to convince him to go in to get it looked at.

Man has a really hard time taking compliments. While you might think it's funny - the way he shies away from your words and gets pink in the cheeks - Chan finds it a little too much; Overwhelming, actually. He'll eventually ask you to maybe tone it down with the teasing, the over complimenting, etc - because while he does appreciate it all, it's just overstimulating for him. It makes his mind reel and whirl with thoughts of 'I need to continue being this accomplished because if I don't, I'll let them down.' and nobody likes having those thoughts plaguing their mind 24/7.

^ Instead of direct compliments that are detailed, i.e. "Chan, you looked so good today! Your hair looked incredible and the outfit you picked out was perfect!" - Chan would rather a simple, "You look really nice today." A simple, sweet acknowledgement of the effort he puts into things whether it be his work, outfits, dates, whatever - is plenty enough for him to feel praised and appreciated.

But while we're on the topic, he does get a little bit pouty if you don't acknowledge something he thought he put a lot of effort into. For example; There was a time he had picked out a new shirt just to match the one you wore for a little date-day he had planned for you and when you didn't notice, he got quiet and a pout settled on his lips until you asked him what was wrong.

The good news is, with this situation, Chan is extremely good at communication. He can tell you, without making you feel bad, that he feels a little unappreciated when you don't notice things he does either for you or with you - or even in general.

Chan also just loves feeling needed. He loves it when you seek him out for advice, to vent, or just to talk to. He thrives off of feeling like he is doing a service to people even if he's just sitting there and listening to you babble about something you got into recently and really like.

He is also quite the perfectionist. Not to the point of him needing to plan every little detail down to the T; But he does take everything into account especially if it has to do with his work. But -- this also applies to dates! He's going to plan your date as well as he absolutely can and he's going to do it in a way that almost prevents anything from going wrong.

That being said, he's also very respectful and willing to listen to anything you have to say, ever. Which means he's more than happy to hear you out with your own date ideas; You feed him your little date fantasies and in turn, he'll make them become your reality!

Chan's mood also determines the atmosphere most of the time. When he walks in the room and it's clear he's not having a great day, people tend to understand that it isn't a good time to pick on him or touch him. Most just give him space. You, though; You're one of the only people he'll ease up on if you come close or cuddle up to him. You're like a little exception.

Chan is a huge fan of Dreamcatcher! If he has the opportunity, he wants to go and see them - which is something you overhear while visiting the studio one day. You end up buying him a concert ticket as a birthday present, even though he probably could've gone for free being in the industry and all - but he highly appreciates it and is almost in tears with how much joy he feels when he sees the ticket. He can't help but ball up his fists and wave his hands around in excitement, eyeing the ticket so hard like he's afraid it'll disappear if he blinks or looks away.

Chan has a fascination and heavily enjoys - drones. He owns a few, or - use to - maybe just one now. Either way, he really enjoys getting to control them and watching them whip around when other people are in control instead. The first time he introduces you to his drone, which he has named (comment what you think he would name it), he insists you try to fly it on your own. When you're too nervous and afraid you'll break it, because it IS expensive, he waves off your worries and helps you control it with his hands laid over top of your own.

During a Trivia event held by the boys in Changbin & Hyunjin's apartment, Jeopardy style of course, Changbin asked a question in which contestants (you, Seungmin, & Jisung) had to name what program Chan uses for Producing. You ding the bell before Jisung has a chance - and Seungmin is completely clueless - and to Jisung's dismay, get the answer right. "Cubase!" Chan's eyes widen in surprise at your knowledge and though he isn't sure how you know that, he's flattered for some reason. Meanwhile, Jisung is clutching his hair in his hands and crying, "How do you even know that?!"

During one year for Christmas, Chan found himself being gifted with a brand new bottle of the Kilian "Back to Black" perfume. He instinctively turned to thank Jeongin, who grew confused as to why his Hyung was doting on him, before claiming he didn't gift that to him. Chan sits back deadpan and turns to look at you instead, where you're sitting next to Felix with a giggly grin. Chan knew you liked his cologne - he was well aware, as you were always huffing his scent when the two of you hugged - but he wasn't aware you knew the name of it. Unless you went snooping...

[mrsjellymunson]

The Biology Tutor

Lesson 3: Human Reproduction

Series masterlist

Prev parts: Lesson 1: Female anatomy Lesson 2: Male anatomy Extra Credits 01: Communication skills Extra Credits 02: French Independent Study 01: Art Independent Study 02: Creative Writing

Pairing: virgin!Eddie Munson x fem!tutor!reader

Series summary: Eddie’s failing Biology class, so you decide to offer two different styles of tuition, textbook-based and *ahem* practical.

Chapter summary: Grades, feelings, and a practical lesson in human reproduction

WC: ~14.6K (oopsie/I’m not sorry/you’re welcome)

C/W: 18+, SMUT, NSFW, MDNI! Fluff, smut, fluffy smut, smutty fluff, fingering, clit stim, nipple play (M+F rec), p in v sex (protection is discussed; always wrap it irl), pantie stealing (consensual), aftercare, feelings, slight cream pie, brief mention of food and eating, reader wears a short skirt, Wayne Munson. I’ve tried to keep physical descriptions of reader as neutral as possible, lmk if I need to change anything. 

My masterlist

You and Eddie have decided it���s best if you keep your whatevership between the two of you, at least for now. Neither your friends nor family would be thrilled to discover you were giving ‘extracurricular attention’ to the boy the whole town regards as a lawbreaking freak. (Technically, you suppose he is actually both - weed dealing and his general style and demeanour make that statement factually correct, but you don’t see him in the negative way they do.) Furthermore, your teacher may be reluctant to come through on those agreed upon extra credits if he finds out that the lessons you’re offering veer significantly more towards the ‘practical’. So, keeping it on the down-low it is. 

However, that hasn’t stopped you from thinking about your study sessions with Eddie. In fact, he’s on your mind almost constantly. You’ve also both become more brazen in your interactions, and neither of you look away now when you catch each other’s eye in the halls. And you’ll both stare dreamily and smile across the cafeteria as he nibbles on pretzels and you mull over a thorny problem in a notebook, chewing on the end of your pencil.

You’ve spoken on the phone again too. For the most part it’s just as… stimulating as the first time, if not more so, and you're both gaining confidence and are able to articulate your needs and desires with increasingly elaborate and creative language. But to your surprise you’ve also ended up chatting too, and more than once you’ve devolved into fits of hysterical giggles. You’ve never been able to be so open with a partner before, and you’re revelling in the intimacy.

But, he’s not your partner partner. You didn’t mean it like that. You’re fully aware of Eddie’s… situation, and you’re pretty sure he’s not ready for any kind of official commitment. You really need to be careful with your language, or you're going to slip up one day and mess up whatever the hell this is…

On the day of your usual Biology class with Eddie, everyone’s milling around the science lab, waiting to get their test results. It’s the final class before the end of the semester, and Mr Clarke knows better than to expect anyone to do any work, so nobody’s in their seats and the room is filled with general murmur and chatter.

A steady stream of students collects their papers from Mr Clarke at his desk. Yours is near the top of the pile - you being you, you’re always one of the first to head up to find out how you did, and generally, the less… academically inclined students hang back until the end, wanting to delay the agony and prolong their blissful ignorance for as long as possible. 

Mr Clarke passes you your paper, and you spy a large, red ‘A+’ in the top corner. You pinch your face into a scrunched up smile, and you can feel your cheeks heating. Yes, it’s one of your favourite subjects, but you never want to assume anything.

“No surprises there!”, Mr Clarke jokes, as you proudly yet somewhat bashfully look over your work as you head back to your desk.

You’re dying to know how Eddie did, but presume he’s going to wait it out like the other ‘cool kids’, and you don’t really want to rub your success in his face in case it didn’t go well for him, so you slide back into your seat without looking in his direction.

A few moments later, there’s a sudden loud whoop from the front of the class. Everyone turns to face the clamour, and to your surprise you see Eddie standing next to Mr Clarke’s desk, arms aloft and eyes wide, grinning as he shakes his paper above his head like a Tusken Raider.

Wait, did you just make a nerd reference? What the fuck is this guy doing to you?

You try not to stare as Eddie’s gesticulations make his torn Iron Maiden shirt ride up to expose the smooth planes of his abdomen and the dark sprinkling of hair leading down beneath his waistb— You clamp your bottom lip between your teeth, this feat seemingly significantly more difficult for you than passing a science test.

He changes position, hunching over now, and punches the air with one fist, wrinkling his nose and baring his teeth as he stares down at the paper he’s crinkling in the fierce grip of his other hand.

“Yeah! Goddamn B minus! B fuckin’ minus, baby! Wooo!! I am fucking walking that stage, I can feel it!”

A few of your classmates start to clap, and soon most of the class is applauding Eddie, a few even joining in with the whoops and hollers. He bends at the waist and gives a theatrical bow, still grinning, much to the delight of the whole class.

Even Mr Clarke is clapping, ignoring Eddie’s profanity for once and with a broad smile on his face too. Eddie smiles back, extending his hand to the older man, who takes it happily, shaking it and slapping Eddie on his bicep as he says, 

“Congratulations, Mr Munson. I knew you could do it, son.”

Before you’re fully cognisant of what you’re doing, you’re out of your seat and rushing towards Eddie, colliding with his chest with a thump as you fling your arms around his ribs, hugging him tightly. He freezes for a moment, stunned, before his arms move around your shoulders, gripping you tightly, crushing the document even more, before his empty hand flattens over the centre of your back, gently but intensely rubbing up and down.

He drops his chin onto your shoulder, and turns his face so it’s nuzzled into the crook of your neck. You hear him take a couple of deep, slow inhales, and his warm breath fans out over your skin and trickles down the back of your shirt as he adds a contented hum that almost short-circuits your brain. Quietly, you mumble into his chest, 

“Congratulations, Eddie."

Just as quietly, almost like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear, Eddie replies, voice slightly cracking,

"I couldn't have done it without you, Princess…”

You remain there at the front of the class, embracing, rocking slightly, neither of you seemingly wanting to let go. Eddie's palm continues to make patterns on your back, and you keep your arms around his middle. The heat from his chest seeps into yours, and you begin to get lost in his heady scent of cigarettes, spicy cologne and weed, something so quintessentially Eddie.

Behind you, you hear Mr Clarke clear his throat, and you and Eddie break apart as he proclaims, 

“Well, I think that proves that the student-to-student tutoring project is a success! Well done, both of you. Okay, who’s next?”

Keen to minimise further attention from your classmates, you both make your way back to your seats. He sits behind his desk, and you pull your stool to face him over it. 

Eddie’s lab partner offers him a fist bump, adding, “Nice work, dude,” to which Eddie reciprocates and replies, “Thanks, man,” before the guy wanders off to chat to his friends across the room.

You and Eddie stare at each other across the workbench. All you seem to be able to do is grin goofily, and you see Eddie’s cheeks pinken to an even darker shade. Eventually, you manage to speak.

“Well done, Eddie. Seriously. I’m so proud of you, all your hard work paid off!”

He glances down at his paper again, seemingly needing to keep checking it to make sure it’s real, that he actually passed. A slightly incredulous look on his face, he replies, chuckling,

“Fuckin’ B minus. Wayne’s gonna wanna frame this shit, I swear!”

You bark out a laugh, before responding,

“You should let him. This is a big moment!”

You both laugh again before Eddie continues, more seriously this time,

“I meant what I said, you know. I couldn’t’ve done this without your help.”

“I appreciate that, thank you. You know I wouldn’t’ve done it if I didn’t want to, though, right?”

“I know, I know. I just wanted you to know how grateful I am, is all…”

His face suddenly drops, and his eyes fall to the tabletop as he says, more quietly,

“Uh… I guess this means we won’t be studying anymore though, right?”

Something twists in your stomach. You hadn’t considered that this might change things. Thoughts roil in your mind. You don’t want whateverthisis with Eddie to end, that’s for certain, and from his tone you surmise that’s not what he wants either. So you make him an offer.

“Oh, I don’t know, I think I could go for at least one more lesson. Call it a celebration! If you wanted to, that is?”

You’ve barely finished your sentence before Eddie’s almost-yelling, 

“Yeah! I mean, yes, if you want to as well, I mean…”

You try to suppress a smile as you reply,

“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it. I’m free after school, if that’s any good for you?”

Later on, when Eddie gives you a ride to his place, things feel different, and it’s not just the residual adrenalin from this afternoon’s test results. The anticipation is palpable. It’s like you’re both more relaxed, but somehow also more on edge, as if the air itself is charged and your skin is buzzing. You know where you’d like to take things, but you’re not sure how far Eddie will want to go, so you have a vague plan of offering suggestions but ultimately being guided by him.

You sit on the edge of his sofa feeling uncharacteristically nervous. Eddie brings drinks, clearing his throat as he sits stiffly next to you, occasionally glancing in your direction.

“So, uh, what’s the subject for tonight, Teach?”, he says with a nervous chuckle.

“I, uh, thought we could do some revision. Maybe bring everything together, and go over human reproduction?”

You raise your eyebrows as you say the final two words, hoping Eddie might catch your meaning. He gulps, and his cheeks tinge with a blush.

“That’s not a subject I have a great deal of knowledge about. But, you already knew that, right?”

He titters nervously, the pink in his cheeks deepening in intensity.

“Yeah, I know, Eddie. Um, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the deal there? I mean, you’re young, fit, good looking. I don’t wanna pry, I’m just curious, I guess?” 

Fuck, really fit. So good looking... Wait, did you just feel butterflies?

Realising your curiosity might have outrun your mouth, you attempt to backtrack.

“You totally don’t have to tell me. God, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you that.”

“No, Princess, it’s fine, really. It’s not like I never, um, had the opportunity. Mostly cheerleaders wanting free weed, or drunk wives or bored moms wanting a bit of illicit fun at The Hideout. For my 18th my dad even arranged a couple of female performers for me. He’s in jail, you knew that, right?” 

You give him what you hope is a sympathetic nod.

“He got a message to a buddy of his, and they turned up after a gig. He instructed me to, uh, take my pick, or have both, if I wanted. So after we’d played, we went backstage, and we talked, and they were really nice ladies, but, uh, it just didn’t feel right somehow. They didn’t say anything afterwards, apart from how I was such a nice boy and if I ever changed my mind I should totally give them a call. And the guys just assumed what had gone on and acted like I was some kind of dog, and I guess I didn’t correct them, and, well, here we are…” 

He’s bashful again, embarrassed at his own apparent reluctance as well as his lack of experience, and you see him picking at the skin around one of his thumbnails. Looking at the floor, he continues,

“I guess I wanted my first time to, I dunno, be a bit more special? Must sound pretty stupid, coming from a hot blooded male, or whatever.”

You both smile as you remember one of your previous conversations and what you’d said. You want to reassure him.

“No, that’s not stupid at all. It’s not just girls who deserve a special first time, you know. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable, and if you haven’t felt that way yet then that’s totally okay. I’m actually proud of you for not feeling pressured into doing something that didn’t feel right.”

He turns his head sideways and looks at you at a quirky angle through his hair, a broad smile threatening to emerge.

“Yeah? Thanks, Princess, that means more than you know.”

You smile back at him, that warmth in your chest spreading throughout your torso. Breaking the moment, Eddie asks, with more than a little trepidation,

“So, what exactly d'you wanna do..?”

Your mind churns with possibilities, and you open your mouth, not entirely certain about what’s going to come out. But before you can say anything, Eddie jumps in.

“Oh, wait. I almost forgot, I have something for you.”

He reaches over to the side table next to him and returns with a lightly rolled piece of paper. Unfurling it, he somewhat nervously presents to you.

“You said you wanted a picture. So, I, uh, drew this for you.”

You take it from him and open it fully. It’s an illustration. A human brain, seen from above, one half of it beautifully rendered in graphite pencil and exquisitely shaded and detailed. The ridges and bumps look like you could almost reach out and touch them. This is incredible enough, but what really catches your attention is the other side. It’s a riot of flowers in different types and colours, overlapping and clustered in a formation that perfectly matches the silhouette of the other half. It’s beautiful.

Your hand comes to cover your mouth and you gasp a little. 

“Oh, Eddie, this is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen! Did you really do this for me?”

Bashfully, he pulls a strand of hair across his cheek as he replies, 

“Sure did, just for you. I chose the subject for that big, beautiful brain of yours, and then I added the flowers ‘cos, y’know, you’re beautiful. You’ve got it all, Princess.”

Now it’s your turn to feel embarrassed. You really weren’t expecting something so amazing, or to feel like this about it. Or to feel this way about him.

You lift the drawing to look closer at the divine detail, and it’s then that you focus in on the background. It looks like a page from a book, and as you scan the words you see dictionary and thesaurus entries under ‘beauty’, spotting beautiful, beauteous, charming, attractive, lovely, alluring... You’re absolutely stunned.

It’s then that you notice the raw edge on one side of the paper.

Wait. 

“Eddie…” You turn to him, brows furrowing with a mixture of concern and excitement. 

“Tell me you didn’t steal this page from the library!”

“Uh, I may have.” He chuckles lightly. “Hey, it’s not like people use it much. It just seemed so appropriate, and I just, kinda, liberated it for an artistic cause.”

You can’t deny that a vehicle for Eddie’s amazing artwork is likely a far better use for this page than it mouldering away in a dusty school library. And it’s not like you could return it now, anyway. 

Everything about it, from the intentions to the execution, is beautiful. 

You tell Eddie so as you run your fingers over the lines. 

“It’s wonderful, Eddie. I’ll treasure it forever.”

Tearing your eyes away from the art in front of you, you lock eyes with him, and the atmosphere in the room seems to thicken. You’re not sure how Eddie’s feeling, but there’s a quiver in your belly and a heat in your core that’s demanding a significant proportion of your attention. You place the paper carefully down on the coffee table before murmuring quietly,

“Would you like to, uh, do that revision now?”

Eddie shifts in his seat, his cheeks pulling up as he tries to stifle a grin and maintain his composure.

“Okaaaay?”

You shift on the sofa and Eddie can’t help but allow the grin spread across his face. He twists his upper body and turns towards you, and puts one hand beside him on the seat as he drops his chin and peers up at you through his lashes. He looks adorable, a little timid but eager to please, like the world’s cutest puppy, and you let out a quiet giggle.

Coyly, he pulls another strand of hair across his upper lip (he really has to stop doing that) as he broaches,

“Are you gonna test me?”

A sultry smile spreads across your face as you recall the first lesson you had together.

“I taught you a lot of terminology in our first lesson. I wanna see how much you can remember.” 

The tip of your tongue peeks out and teases your upper lip.

You can tell he’s still not sure exactly what you mean, but you help him understand as you shuffle forwards and, perching yourself on the very edge of the sofa cushion, you slowly drift your hands up under your skirt, slip your thumbs into the sides of your underwear, lift your butt slightly and begin to pull them down your legs.

Eddie gets it now, and to your surprise he rushes quickly off the sofa and drops to his knees on the floor in front of you.

“Oh shit, please let me help?”

You smile broadly and allow him to take over. 

His fingertips lightly brush the skin of your thighs. They’re rough, calloused, you presume from years of guitar playing, but the feeling is certainly not unpleasant. You experience a frisson of excitement, imagining how his rough hands might feel running over other parts of you.

He gently hooks your underwear with his fingers and, slowly, continues their descent down your legs. He’s careful, reverent almost, like you’re a porcelain doll and he’s scared you will break. You’ve never been treated with such care before. You feel like a precious jewel, and his nickname for you, Princess, suddenly takes on new significance.

He’s concentrating more now than he has the whole time you’ve been helping him study, seemingly taking in every detail of your thighs, your panties, and, especially, the patch of damp fabric that’s already soaked with your arousal. When his eyes flick up to yours he realises he’s been caught staring, and he gives you a little bashful smile.

He removes your underwear by gently lifting each of your feet. You watch out of the corner of your eye as he quickly pushes the ball of material under the sofa. You don’t let on that he’s not being nearly as subtle about that as he thinks he is. 

Placing one foot on either side of his knees, you part your legs. Then, tantalisingly slowly, you move the hem of your skirt up until it’s bunched around your waist. 

You’ve never seen anyone have a religious experience, but you think the expression on Eddie’s face might come close. His eyes, fixated on your centre, are blown dark and opened wide, and his mouth is slightly open. His eyes are furrowed upwards in that almost-surprised look you like so much, and you see him swallow, hard. 

You feel your cunt clench gently. Yep, you still like him looking at you.

“So… what can you remember, Eddie?”

“I— I—”

You give him a moment, taking the opportunity to drink him in, and watch as his tongue comes out to slowly wet his lips. The edges of his mouth curl in the slightest half-smile, and he huffs out an incredulous breath. He’s close enough to you that you feel it on your inner thighs and core. He looks so good like this, kneeling in front of you. Adoring, pliant, submissive even. Oh, this is new.

You lean forward to lightly hold his wrist, and guide his hand up towards your centre. You can feel him trembling slightly, and remember that this is likely the first time he’s ever touched anyone so intimately.

“Okay, let’s try this a different way. Do you remember what this whole area is called?”

As you ask the question you trace his fingertips lightly across your mound and the soft skin of your inner thighs. You place his open hand against you and curve his fingers to cup you gently, his palm pressing featherlight against your hidden clit and his fingertips nestled in your trimmed pubic hair. He lets out a trembling hum.

“Umm, Volvo. No, wait, vul-va?”

“Yes, that’s so good Eddie.” 

You put on a lilting, singsong voice, letting him know how well he’s doing, and he puffs out another tremulous breath.

You hold his first two digits and direct him to curl the rest out of the way. You guide his fingertips between your folds, and they glide easily through your silky wetness.

“Okay, what about this part?”

Eddie lets out a long, low sigh, and swallows deeply. He’s completely fixated on what he can see and feel. You slide his fingers up and down your soaked slit a couple of times, and Eddie’s jaw drops open further.

“Eddie, are you still with me? Can you remember what these are called?”

“Huh? Uh, l— lips, I think?”

“Good enough.”

You smirk at him, though he doesn’t notice, he’s clearly far too focussed on where his fingers are to care about anything else. You revel in the attention. No one else has ever been this gentle with you, this adoring, attentive, tender. And he’s fucking mesmerised. It’s a far cry from the back-seat fumbles and quick pokes in study rooms that you’re used to. You’re definitely not going to be able to go back to that now.

Desperate for Eddie to touch more of you, you continue his education.

“Next, I want you to find my clitoris. Do you think you can do that?”

You let go of his fingers and settle back onto the sofa on your elbows, processing Eddie’s shocked and nervous expression as he glances up to your face.

“You, uh, want me to do this by myself?”

“Yes, I trust you. If it hurts, or you’re way off, I promise I’ll help. But I think it would be good for you to try. Also, I want to see if you can work out when you’ve got it without me having to tell you.”

His brow furrows very slightly at this; he doesn’t seem convinced that this is possible, but you’re in front of him, spread and waiting, so who is he to question it. He moves his wet fingertips slowly through your folds, gliding easily, studying his path but also flicking his eyes up to your face episodically. You close your eyes and hum, enjoying the sensation. 

As he moves further up you can feel a growing uncertainty in his movements, but just as you think he’s about to give up or ask for help, one of his calloused fingertips glances the side of your clit, causing you to inhale sharply as your eyes spring open.

He freezes, terrified he’s done something wrong or hurt you, but you smile down at him and reassure him,

“That’s so close, you’re almost there.”

He smiles, confidence buoyed, and you notice he’s watching your face now as he moves his fingers experimentally. One sideways movement has a rough fingertip connecting perfectly with your sensitive nub, and you let out an abrupt whine.

Eddie presses a little harder, testing, his mouth still open and the tip of his tongue teasing his front teeth.

You moan, loudly, and your head tips back and connects with the cushions of the sofa.

Boldly, Eddie begins to move his fingers, up and down to start with, which makes you hum with contentment. But when, unbidden, he then starts to draw tiny circles around his newly-discovered treasure, your whines turn to full-on moans.

“Is this it? Am I getting it, Princess?”

You glance down at him again, at that beautiful face now adorned with a smirk that seems to be a mix of experimentation and new-found cockiness. Breathlessly, but smiling, you manage, 

“Yeah, you’re definitely getting it.”

And you let out another long moan as he continues to trace those tiny patterns. You could definitely lose it from this alone, but you want to teach him a little more.

“I want you to do something else as well. Do you remember where my vagina is?”

“Uh, I think so.”

Eddie swallows, as he moves his other hand up towards your centre. He pauses, and, looking from your face to your cunt again, he begins to slowly push one fingertip between your wet folds.

You wince as you feel a slight discomfort, and offer, helpfully, 

“Try going a little lower.”

“Oh, okay, sorry, I—”

“Don’t worry, Eddie, nobody gets it on their first tr— ah!” 

He’s definitely getting it.

You want to reassure him even more, tell him that this is the best you’ve ever felt when anyone’s touched you, but the words dissolve as his index finger easily breaches your sopping hole.

You sigh and close your eyes, enjoying the subtle stretch and finally having some part of him inside of you. But Eddie’s stilled, and you realise he needs more guidance. 

“You can go in further, if you want?”

That’s seemingly all the encouragement he needs, as he pushes further, all the way to his ringed knuckle, and you feel the knobbled metal against your lips. He closes his eyes and begins babbling,

“Oh, g-god, you feel so good. You’re like silk, like velvet. You’re so fucking warm, and so goddamn wet, Jeezus!”

You allow you both to enjoy the moment, before deciding to put your musician’s fingers theory to the test.

“Can I give you some more instructions, Eddie?”

He looks up at you, blinking, seeming to come back to himself.

“Yes! Tell me what you want. Please tell me what to do to make you feel good. I’ll do it, I’ll do all of it.”

Oh, this is gonna be fun…

“Okay, add another fing— Oh fuck, that’s it! Shit, that feels so nice.”

Your hips buck forwards as Eddie slides his middle finger in to join the first, pushing them deep and coating his rings in your abundant slick. He lets out a shuddering hum as your walls clench gently around him and you gasp at the sense of increasing fullness.

“Okay, keep your hand so your palm is upwards. That’s it, I know it’s a little uncomfortable but I promise it’s worth it. Now curl your fingers, like you’re beckoning me. Just gently, not too fa-ah— Oh fuck!”

Eddie’s deft fingertips brush that most sensitive spot inside of you, and your legs tense as your back arches off the sofa. You reach down to grab his wrist. You chuckle, smiling down at him. 

“Okay, stop, just for a moment, otherwise I’m not gonna be able to speak. Congratulations, you just found my g-spot.”

“I— I did?”

He grins, huffing out a breath, and experimentally curls his fingers again, his eyes glued to your face.

“Yes! Fuck, yes!” is all you can manage, as your hands move to grip the sofa cushions.

Eddie pauses for a brief moment, glancing down to look at your sodden core, and you take the opportunity to give him one final instruction.

“If you keep doing what you were doing to my clit at the same time, you’re gonna make me cum. Do you wanna do that?”

Eddie’s voice drops almost to a growl as he splutters, the words tumbling out in a rush,

“Oh fuck yes, Princess. Please let me do that!”

He adjusts his position, shuffling closer to you, his eyes scanning between your face and your cunt. You notice the substantial bulge in his pants and how he’s occasionally shifting his hips, bucking them up into the seam of his sinfully tight jeans.

“So… I just keep doing this, and… this?”

He pumps his fingers slowly in and out of you, curling them as his rings touch your soaking lips, and continues to draw tiny circles around your clit. His wide eyes meet yours, his level of concentration evident. You nod, smiling, and relax back onto the sofa. You lose yourself in the sensations, enjoying Eddie’s ministrations and letting yourself drift away on a sea of warmth and pleasure.

Before long a familiar pressure builds in your abdomen. You let out a loud sigh and your hips buck forward again of their own accord. You hear Eddie’s breath become louder and more ragged, and his movements speed up, his fingers pumping deeper and the pressure he’s placing on your clit increasing just a fraction. It’s enough to start sparks flying along your nerves and have your back arching and your thighs trembling.

You start groaning, almost letting go before you realise you should probably give Eddie some warning.

“Shit, I’m so close. Don’t stop, dontfuckingstop, ohshitohshitohshii—”

The universe stops. Time ceases to exist. Your vision goes black before being filled with a million tiny stars, and a supernova of euphoria erupts from your core and spreads throughout your entire body. You think you hear yourself moaning, possibly Eddie as well, but the sounds seem so far away. 

You don’t notice that you’ve arched your back even further until you regain some sense of reality and realise the top of your head is now against the back of the sofa. Gradually, feeling comes back into the rest of your body, a bone-deep warmth suffusing you as your contorted limbs gradually return to their usual positions.

Your vision finally comes back into focus, and you glance down to see Eddie staring at you, wide-mouthed and somewhat stunned. Propping yourself up on the heels of your hands, you grin as you comment, voice syrupy and possibly a little slurred,

“Fuck, Eddie, you’re good at that. Screw the B minus, you definitely deserve an A plus!”

He gives you a lopsided grin, one dimple popping, and chuckles lightly as, watching your centre, he begins to slowly withdraw himself from you. Your body seems to have other ideas, as your walls clench around his fingers and a small aftershock makes you tremble. It definitely doesn’t want to let him go.

He pauses as he examines his soaked digits, moving them apart and studying your slick as it covers his palm and runs over his knuckles. You think you spot a minuscule drop of his jaw as his hand twitches, but then he stops himself. You’re slightly nervous that you may have misread his movements, but you decide to be bold anyway.

“Do you wanna taste me?”

His eyes snap to yours. They’re wide, like a kid that’s been caught trying to steal cookies. Sitting up a little, you gently take hold of his wrist and move his hand closer to his mouth, giving him permission. His eyes don’t leave yours as he drops his jaw, lolls out his tongue and pushes his sodden fingers into his mouth. Only when his lips reach his knuckles does his gaze falter. His eyes flicker closed and he hums loudly, licking and sucking, cleaning up every speck. He eventually pulls them out, mumbling low,

“Christ, you taste so good.”

You heat at the praise; no one’s ever told you that before. Feeling bold again, you continue,

“You wanna taste me properly one day? Put your mouth on me? I gotta admit I’m keen to see what else you can do with that tongue…”

Eddie gulps audibly as he shuffles forwards and grabs hold of your knees, looking like he’s kneeling at an altar. The altar of you.

“Oh holy shit, please let me do that. God, I wanna get my tongue inside you so bad.”

He’s practically drooling, and the sight of him literally on his knees and begging to taste your cunt has you clenching all over again. But as much as you want that (and you really, really want that), there’s now an aching need inside you that only something larger can satisfy. If Eddie’s willing to give it to you. Keen to bookmark this for another time, you proffer,

“Whaddaya say we make that a whole lesson all to itself?”

He grins at you, seemingly pleased with this proposal.

Eddie rests back on his heels and places his hands in his lap. He’s not ushering you to leave, which is good, but he seems a little unsure of himself. Conscious of how exposed you still are, you start to straighten yourself up, lowering your skirt and checking your hair in case the sofa cushions have done a number on it. 

You have no idea what the protocol is for this situation. You’re aware that there’s likely an issue in his pants that could use some attention, but you’re not sure how to broach it. You know what you’d like to do, but are suddenly nervous and can’t look at him, and start fiddling with the hem of your skirt. He seems to be having the same dilemma, as he asks,

“So, what do we do now?”

He could be expecting a suggestion like watching a movie, or ordering pizza. But you decide to ask for what you want, whilst also giving him an out just in case this is too sudden. You fiddle with your hem again and catch his gaze as you blather,

“Well, I know we’ve kinda talked about this before, maybe not as much as we could have. But I, uh— I’d really like to, um, have you inside of me. If you wanted to. An— and it doesn’t actually have to be now, or even soon. We can totally go at your pace, and I realise I’m asking to be your first, but—”

He cuts you off with a single syllable. 

“Yes.” 

It’s the shortest sentence you’ve ever heard him utter. And in this moment it’s the most beautiful. His face is almost blank, completely serious with an edge of hopefulness etched in his brows. Your chest fills with pride and gratitude. He really does trust you enough to want to do this with you. But what happens next is a surprise. 

“Umm… would now be okay?”

You grin broadly. 

“Uh, no, not at all. Shall we, um… take this to your bedroom?”

He smiles softly before breaking out into a wide but bashful grin.

He stands and, offering his hands, helps you to get up. Eddie makes sure you’re okay to move and, at a pace you can cope with on your shaky legs, gently leads you across the trailer and down the narrow corridor to his bedroom, repeatedly looking at you with an incredulously dopey look.

He pauses with his palm against the door. Looking at you ruefully through his lashes, he warns you, quietly,

“Just so you know, it’s a mess in here.”

You reassure him,

“I don’t mind. Frankly, so long as you’re not storing a rotting corpse or running a meth lab, I couldn’t care less.”

He swings the door open and leads you inside. You step through and take a brief moment to glance around the room, noticing the posters on the walls, piles of clothes, D&D paraphernalia and various bits of band equipment. It’s almost exactly as you’d pictured it. 

Standing in the middle of the carpet, he turns to face you, holding one of your hands in his and fiddling with your fingers. His hesitancy is adorable.

“Soooo… What do we do first?”

You take both of his hands in yours, squeezing them lightly, and through a soft smile you say airily,

“Well, it’s usually customary to do a little kissing. I know you know how to do that, because…”

Your cheeks heat as you remember your library lesson. Eddie’s throat bobs as he swallows, and his gaze flits around your face, settling on your lips as he tries, and fails, to get his breathing under control. 

You gently place his hands at your waist and then loop your arms around his neck, finally getting to sink your fingers into his long, luscious locks. They’re much softer than you thought they’d be, and you feel him tremble as you lightly drag your fingertips across his scalp.

You step towards him and slowly lean in, moving your face closer to his, pulling Eddie ever so slightly to indicate that he should do the same. There’s the briefest of pauses as your lips hover, your breaths mingling, before you both close the minuscule gap.

It’s a little uncoordinated, you two never having done this standing up before, but none of that matters as your mouths connect. Eddie’s lips are soft and pillowy, and the feeling of his hands on your waist, his mouth against yours and that familiar faint vanilla scent completely invade your senses. He has a hint of a five o’clock shadow, and you feel his scruff scratch softly against the sensitive skin of your face. You know it’s going to leave you red and puffy, and you relish being able to take a reminder of this away with you. 

It’s chaste yet passionate as your lips meld and release and find a rhythm. You muss his hair and he hums, and the ache between your legs grows vivid again. You press your front against his, and he breaks your kiss with a soft,

“Oh!”

Wow, he really does want this. A whole lot. You nudge against him again, relishing the firmness you can feel in the front of his jeans. The seam of his zipper only adds to the sensation, and you feel his obvious and substantial erection swell and kick towards you through the stiff fabric. You’ve never wanted anything more in your entire life, but for Eddie’s sake you’re determined to take it slow.

Okay, maybe not that slow. You thumb at the hem of his shirt, and with what you hope is a cute pout, ask,

“Can we take this off?”

He grins, dimples popping adorably, and takes half a step back. You think your own smile might rival his as you grasp the bottom of his shirt and peel it up and over his head. Not teasing, not rushing, the speed is just right, and you bite your lip when his arms lift and his hair fluffs, and you drop the garment to the floor.

You’ve seen him shirtless before, but you don’t think you’ll ever get used to the way it affects you. Eddie catches you staring, and for a brief moment you worry that he’s self conscious, or nervous of your opinion of his physicality. But instead, in a cheeky show of burgeoning confidence, that you hope is somewhat down to you, he murmurs,

“Do you… like what you see, Princess?”

Your eyes continue to scan his chest as you hum in approval.

“Oh yes, definitely…”

You bring one of your hands up and run the tips of your fingers over the tattoos on his pec. Eddie shivers and inhales a shaky breath, and then whines a little as you flatten your hand over the muscle.

Your other hand traces up his waist and abs, making him stutter out a bashful giggle as you hit a ticklish spot, until both hands come to rest on the upper part of his chest, feeling it rise and fall beneath your palms. You look over his torso, his shoulders and throat, before your gaze flicks over his lips and reaches his eyes again.

“I meant what I said before, you know. You’re really pretty. Has anyone else ever told you that?”

“Uh, nope. No, they haven’t. But from you, I believe it.”

You smile softly at him, and run your hands over his collarbones and down the sides of his pecs. Experimentally, you allow the pads of your thumbs to gently skim his nipples. He hisses in a breath, and his responsiveness increases the throb in your core.

You let your hands travel lower, and they come to rest at his belt line. You can’t help but salivate at what you know is beneath as you work his belt buckle open, and then his button. You look up and smile at him as you pull gently on his zipper, lowering it, and he smiles back, shaking his head almost imperceptibly as if he can’t quite believe this is happening. 

You hook your thumbs over his waistband and start to tug. He helps, easing the fabric over the soft swell of his ass as you pull his jeans down until you’re crouching on the floor before him. He sighs as his member is released from its denim confines, tenting obnoxiously in his briefs, and you miss the fond smile he gives you, accompanied by another imperceptible head shake, as you concentrate on freeing his feet.

Once he’s standing in just his boxers, you rise and sit on the edge of his bed, gently pulling on his hands and guiding him to sit next to you. You swivel to face each other, fingers still linked. The two of you somehow manage to make some of the most innocent of gestures seem the most intimate, and there’s a peculiar moment of bashfulness between you. You huff through your noses, chuckling, and you can see Eddie’s cheeks have pinkened again as he looks down at your joined hands, fingers intertwined.

Finally, his gaze meets yours again, and his face is suddenly serious. His eyes flit to your lips, and you take this as your cue to lean forward.

Your noses bump, and initially neither of you are sure which way to turn your head. It’s awkward and sweet and adorable, but when your lips finally connect all of that melts away. You soon both get into your stride, and it’s even hotter than it was in the library. You don’t have to worry about noise, or getting caught, and there’s no time limit - this time you can do this for as long as you want, and the thought of it fills you with a warm sensation that you can’t quite identify.

Eddie’s hand comes up to cup your cheek, and as you run the tip of your tongue along his bottom lip his mouth opens instantly, allowing you access to him and he to you. Without hesitation he plunges his tongue into your mouth, and deftly swirls it around your own, moaning as he moves his hand to grasp the back of your head, just like he did in the library. It’s messy and hot, and with no fear of being discovered you're both much more vocal, sighing and moaning as you move against one another. Eddie’s free hand comes to rest gently on your waist, but you can tell he’s tense and holding back. You don’t want him, or you, to hold back anymore. 

You break the kiss and look at him. His eyes are glassy and unfocused, and his lips are parted, reddened and glossy with your shared spit. In one swift motion you twist, lift one leg, and position yourself astride Eddie’s thighs. Then, to his complete surprise, you teasingly fiddle with your hem for a moment before lifting your shirt up and over your head, leaving you in just your bra. You chose it especially, the delicate lace cups leaving your nipples visible through the sheer fabric.

Eddie’s eyes widen and his jaw goes slack and he’s just… staring, like he’s seeing colour for the first time. You allow him to look at you for a little while, and his awestruck, hungry gaze is almost as effective as his touch for increasing the arousal at your core. You run your hands down his arms until you reach his wrists, which you lift gently, bringing his hands towards your chest. Eddie realises what’s about to happen, and quietly mutters,

“Oh, fuck…”

You guide his hands and his palms are hot as you place them over your flesh, and the heat between your bodies increases as Eddie huffs out an open-mouthed,

“Haaaaaaah.”

His eyes are fixed on your breasts, and he seems momentarily frozen in place. He swallows again, but before you can offer words of encouragement his eyes flick up to yours, an almost pleading look on his face. You nod carefully, slowly, hoping to convey your meaning: go ahead.

You’re successful, and you moan with delight as Eddie’s gaze drops again and he begins to squeeze and mould your heaving bosom like he wants to memorise every curve, every feature. He pushes them together slightly, then up, then apart, all the while massaging them gently with his palms and fingertips. At one point he accidentally grazes your slowly hardening nipples, and it causes both of you to let out startled whines.

He’s humming involuntarily, and more than once you feel his hips roll upwards, positioning the substantial tent in his boxers closer to where you need him. You drift your eyes up towards his pillows as you ask,

“Shall we… get a little more comfortable?”

His nod is swift and it bounces his curls as he immediately begins to shift position. You stand as he shuffles to the centre of his bed and flops down, his hair splaying out over his pillow and his hands clutching mindlessly at the comforter, perhaps to ground himself.

You manoeuvre so your thighs are astride his, your naked cunt not quite touching him and shielded only by the drape of your skirt. You wonder whether Eddie might be catching the scent of your arousal. He’s staring at your chest again, and you surmise he’s got a better view now, with more space between you and the light from the window illuminating you from the side.

His eyes rove your form, and you can’t wait to see what happens when he views a real pair of actual tits for the first time. Locking your gaze on his face, you reach behind you and unfasten your bra. The small jolt as you undo the clasp makes Eddie jump slightly, and his eyes flash up to your face, his eyes saying, is this really happening?

You cover yourself with one arm and slowly slip the straps of your bra off your shoulders before performing a dramatic reveal, dropping the lace to your lap and then sweeping the flimsy garment off the bed and onto the floor.

Eddie’s eyes widen to the point where you think they might leave his skull, and his jaw drops and retracts a couple of times. A strangled sort of noise leaves his throat, and it sounds a little like he’s being gently choked. You check in with him.

“Eddie? Are you okay? Are you… still breathing?”

He inhales, loudly. Nope, he’d definitely stopped breathing. His arms lift a little and his hands hover over the bedsheets. His eyes haven’t left your chest, and you let him know that whatever he wants to do, you’re okay with.

“You can touch them, if you want?”

Eddie huffs out a long exhale, and the warmth of his breath fanning over your sensitive skin brings your nipples to hardened peaks. His fingertips tentatively brush at the sides of your breasts as his thumbs trace the undersides. It’s like he’s examining a precious artifact, and it’s the most reverence anyone’s ever shown your tits, or any part of you. You hear yourself gasp as your centre spasms.

This gives Eddie a little confidence, and he moves to cup your flesh in his hands, his fingers squeezing lightly. This time though, he’s looking at your face, assessing your reaction, seeing how he’s doing. You very much appreciate that he’s ensuring he’s not hurting you, or making an ass of himself, but it’s actually quite the opposite. You let out a tiny moan, and gift him with a louder one when the pads of his thumbs graze your peaked nipples. He does it again, with more intent. The combination of the roughness and heat of his skin feels wonderful.

Unbidden, he brings his forefingers and thumbs together on one side, and pinches lightly. Your abrupt groan surprises both of you, but in a delightful way. He does it again, to both nipples this time, and you groan again as your belly clenches and you involuntarily roll your hips over his thighs, the heat in your core intensifying. 

You let him play for a while, enjoying how he moans and swallows and moulds your flesh. His hands feel so good you’re reluctant to pull them away, but eventually you do, softly placing his arms beside him on the bed as you murmur,

“It’s my turn to touch you now.”

His nervous expression quickly dissipates as you gently lay your hands onto his chest. He’s so beautiful, like an alabaster statue, and he’s warm and responsive to your touch. You run your hands lightly all over his torso, tracing the planes, dips and curves of his musculature, and the designs of his tattoos. It’s simple, almost reverential, though the increased heat in your centre and the breaths stuttering beneath the pretty pink bloom flushing over Eddie’s skin suggest your touch is anything but holy.

There’s something you’ve been wanting to investigate for what feels like a very long time, and you’re delighted that you’ve finally got the opportunity. You run your palms over Eddie’s chest again, but this time allowing your fingertips to skim over his nipples. 

He twitches beneath you, almost flinching at the sensation, but from the gasp he inhales and holds you don’t think this was from discomfort. You repeat the action. His flesh feels soft and velvety, and they’re smaller than yours, but seemingly just as sensitive, and you hear him whimper as they peak beneath your touch. You had no idea a guy’s nipples could react like this, your previous partners never giving them any consideration or allowing you to explore like this. Eddie’s stuttering breaths and the way he’s trembling make you think they were missing out on something really special.

You draw tiny circles around each nipple with the pads of your forefingers, and you feel the bedsheets shift under you as Eddie grips them in his fists. Bravely, you experiment, and you move your thumbs to join your fingers, Eddie’s flesh between them. With the lightest amount of pressure you pinch, just a little, and release quickly.

Something guttural leaves Eddie’s chest, and his breath comes out in a rush. Buoyed by this, you squeeze again, with more pressure and for longer, and this time Eddie’s groan is accompanied by an upwards buck of his hips into the empty air in front of yours.

This is new, and you like it very much. From the deepening pink tinge appearing across Eddie’s cheeks and torso, you think he’s liking it too. You squeeze once more, and release. Leaning forwards and sticking out your tongue, you lick at one of Eddie’s peaked buds before delicately clamping down with your teeth and sucking gently, moaning quietly at the sensation of his delicate flesh in your mouth.

Above you, Eddie splutters,

“Shit! Oh shit! Hnnn!”

Oh yeah, those other guys were definitely missing out.

You decide it’s time for him to experience yours up close too. You lean forwards, bracing your arms either side of his head, the swell of your tits now hovering above his face. His gaze flicks between them a few times before flashing up to yours. You give him a soft smile and nod your head, and he hums as he slides his hands up over your waist, up your sides and over the warm flesh again. 

He moulds them in his hands, making you moan, and to make it all the more obvious what you want him to do you shift so one of your nipples is positioned directly above his mouth. He takes the hint and flicks out his tongue, just grazing your peaked bud at first before gaining in confidence and taking it fully into his mouth, sucking gently at first and then flicking his tongue over it.

You feel a jolt head from your nipple up to your jaw that ignites the entire side of your face with static electricity as another journeys to your core. You let out an involuntary groan, and, buoyed by this, Eddie suckles harder, simultaneously running his thumb over your other nipple. You moan again, your hips rolling over his thighs in search of friction. Shifting beneath you, he pops off one breast and latches on to the other, giving it equal attention and, daringly, pinching the first between his fingers. It’s intense, and glorious, and that electric spark is back, heading directly between your thighs. This is definitely something that’s never happened before.

He unlatches, and you’re a gasping, breathy mess as you move down to kiss him. He lunges up a few centimetres to meet you, and as you deepen the kiss your nipples brush against his chest. He whimpers, and grabs the back of your neck with one hand and between your shoulder blades with the other, pulling you down so your chests meet. You drop your elbows down onto the mattress to get closer to him, and rake your hands through his hair, grasping it and pulling at the roots gently as your hands ball into fists.

There’s no more reverence or holding back now, and your kiss is messy, wet and noisy as Eddie holds you to him, squeezing you together and shoving his tongue seemingly as far down your throat as he can. Your tits are squashed between you, and the pressure of his heated chest against yours is divine. It’s one of the hottest things you’ve ever done, and you can’t quite believe you’re having this effect on each other. You feel the stiff length of him pressing into your abdomen, and he feels so, so ready for this.

You hum as you kiss him for a while longer, feeling his length kick up between you and the dampness between your legs increase. You break the kiss and sit up, smirking at Eddie’s blissed out face and reddened, kiss-bitten lips. Watching him watch you, you open the side fastening of your skirt and peel it off, discarding it to one side, leaving you fully bare on top of him. His face is almost unreadable, such a mixture of emotions passing over it, but you think he might be a combination of reverent, horny and amazed.

You move yourself further up his thighs, finally settling your hips flush across his, settling down close to the substantial wet patch that’s been made by his leaking tip. Your naked centre sticks to the damp fabric as you drag it across his boxer-covered crotch. Ordinarily you’d be embarrassed at making a mess, but something tells you Eddie won’t care.

You were right. There’s no resistance from him, and he groans beneath you as you feel his hefty bulge press against your folds. His hands grip the bedsheets again as he mumbles out in a low breath,

“Oh my god, you’re so fuckin’ beautiful.”

His tone and his words only get you wetter, and you can’t help but roll your hips slightly over him, earning you another groan.

You don’t want to waste your slick on this fabric, and rise up onto your knees. With a playful snap of his waistband, you urge,

“Take these off.”

Eddie shuffles beneath you as quickly as he’s able, There’s the rustle of cotton and you look down in time to witness the slap of his hard member against his stomach. His cock’s flushed a deep pink, almost magenta, is more swollen than you’ve ever seen it, and is already drenched and glistening with precum. It smears across his happy trail as he shifts until, moments later, he’s naked beneath you. 

Still kneeling up, your cunt hovers over his bare form. His eyes scan your whole body, from your eyes to your tits, all over your torso, the soft hair covering your cunt, back up to your eyes again. Bravely, you think, he places his hands on your thighs, and you feel them tremble a little as he rubs and strokes gently. 

Slowly, you lower your hips. You feel your pubic hair brush first, before your warm lips make contact with his shaft and your most personal areas touch for the first time.

Eddie’s brows furrow as the slick warmth of you settles onto him, and his abs tense as he breathes out, low,

“Oh, shiiiiit.”

You’re both still for a beat before you brace yourself, palms placed flat on his chest, and begin to rock your hips, just gently, getting you both used to the sensation of having him pressed against your folds. His cock is hard, yet warm and soft, and Eddie huffs out heated breaths through his nose as you slide yourself along him. His hips start to subtly cant beneath you. By the tense look on his face you think it might be involuntary, that he’s holding himself back. 

You move for a little while before one particularly exquisite movement allows his cock to slip between your folds, and his swollen tip unexpectedly nudges your clit. You gasp and curl in on yourself, involuntarily closing your eyes and clenching your fingers, letting out a soft whine. 

Below you, Eddie makes a strangled hnnng sound before his breath hitches and he inhales quickly, his grip on your thighs tightening. 

Worried there’s something wrong, your eyes flash open. You’re relieved to see Eddie seems to be okay, though his eyes are blown even darker and his jaw is softly parted. You glance down at your hands on his chest, and notice a collection of angry-looking red lines where your nails have dug into his flesh. Horrified, you stammer,

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!”

Echoing your words from your second lesson, he smirks, his tongue flicking out to wet his bottom lip, and he bounces his eyebrows as he admits,

“It’s okay, I kinda liked it.”

Smiling, you lift your hands to his pecs and lightly drag the nails of your pointer fingers further down his chest and ribs, down to his abs. Eddie moans again, and his hips roll upwards, his cockhead nudging your clit with more pressure and causing you to whine along with him.

Fuck, this feels so good, and he’s not even inside of you yet…

You don’t know how Eddie’s doing, but you can’t take much more of this. Feeling that it’s definitely time for his final lesson, you sit up, resting your palms gently on his belly. You’re feeling really good, but also nervous, which you know makes you verbose, and you can’t help but babble out too many options. 

“Okay, so, I’m more than happy for us to go all the way right now. But if that’s not something you want I’m obviously totally fine with that too. But… Shit. I guess I’m asking, do you still wanna… I mean, how far do you wanna go, really, with me?”

Eddie’s eyes search yours earnestly, and the gentleness of his reply instantly soothes your frayed nerves.

“I want it, Princess. I want to do it… all. With you.”

You smile warmly down at him. It’s the best response you could’ve had. He swallows before gesturing to his nightstand.

“Should I, uh… Should we…?”

You realise he’s asking if he should get a condom, and you’re grateful for his thoughtfulness. But you’ve been considering this, and you have an alternative suggestion. 

“Well… I’m on birth control for a period thing, and I'm pretty sure I’m clean because I’ve never not used a condom. I know you’re clean because, well, y’know. So… if you’re okay with it, we could, uh, do it without?”

He’s looking up at you, wide-eyed and mouth agape. All he can manage is a tiny, squeaked,

“Holy f—. P— please.”

Again, it’s the perfect reply. You’re still slightly incredulous that he’s trusting you to be his first, but you’re also excited to take on such a responsibility. You calm your breathing before kneeling up a little, glancing down and reaching between your legs to take ahold of him. You already knew he has the most exquisite cock you’ve ever encountered, and it somehow looks even more beautiful right now. You grasp him reverently, angling him upwards and dragging him through your folds to gather more of your slick. 

He’s hot and solid in your hand, and flashbacks of everything you’ve done so far flood your mind. Touching yourself as he watched, taking him into your mouth, getting each other off over the phone, your first kiss... It‘s all combined to lead you to this exquisite moment. 

Eddie sighs lightly and lets out a nervous hum, and then both of you hold your breath. You lower yourself a tiny amount, and his tip pushes in a little further as you notch him between your folds. He gasps. You lean over him, and stabilise yourself with your hands either side of his head.

“You ready?”

Eddie’s voice wobbles as he confirms,

“Fuck, yes, Princess. Please f-fuck me.” 

You take a steadying breath, and, keeping your eyes fixed on his, you begin to lower further. His fat head breaches you, and you bite your lip as you feel the stretch of him for the first time. Slowly, so slowly, you slide down, inch by delicious inch. You’re so wet he glides into you easily, although the size of him is something you’ll need to get used to. You relish the sensation of him stretching out your walls as they slowly envelop him.

You pause, and Eddie mumbles your name, barely audible, the hot huff of air filling what little space there is between you. It sounds like a prayer, or perhaps a spell. There’s a moment of silence and absolute stillness, yet it’s weighted, the implications heavy in the humid space between you. You both know how much this means, how things will never be as they were, especially for Eddie. As you slide lower, letting him fill you, his jaw drops further, and his grip on your thighs grows stronger. You sink down until he’s plunged completely inside your warmth, and immerse yourself in the way you’re accommodating him. Your hips finally connect with his, and as you seat him fully inside you already feel him nudging against that spot that he so deftly located earlier. You mumble out a stilted,

“Oh, god.”

It’s followed by a long, deep sigh from Eddie as he mutters,

“Ohfuckohfuckohfuck— Ooooooooh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuccckkk!”

He’s closed his eyes, and you can feel the tips of his fingers digging into the plush of your thighs. You enjoy the moment, savouring how he looks, how he feels. His hair splays out around him on his pillow like a chestnut halo, and his head is tilted back, exposing his broad, thick throat. His eyes flash open again and fix on yours; wide, dark mahogany pools that are somehow simultaneously a million miles away and boring into your very soul. His mouth hangs open in awe, shallow, trembling breaths emanating from his throat. He looks like an angel. 

He strokes your thighs for a moment before his large hands move to settle lightly on your hips. Placing your hands over the backs of his, you stay seated, tilting your hips ever so slightly to push down even deeper onto him. He practically growls,

“Fuck, Princess. You feel so fucking good.”

The growling nature of his voice sends an electric heat straight to your core, and the stretch you feel quickly morphs into a fiery need. You gaze into Eddie’s chocolate orbs as you warn him, 

“I’m gonna move now, okay?”

He swallows in preparation, and you brace your hands on his lower ribs. You tilt your hips, rolling them. It angles him differently inside you, his swollen head hitting harder exactly where you need it. It also brushes your clit against the dark, glossy hair at his base, and your walls spasm as a low moan leaves your chest and you feel Eddie’s cock kick up in response. He mumbles, voice low and lasciviously gravelly,

“Do that again.”

So you do, again and again. You find a rhythm, slow but satisfying as you rock back and forth. Eddie’s jaw drops open again and his lips form a soft ‘o’ as you move above him.

It occurs to you that everything feels subtly different. Of course, you’ve never been treated with such care before, never been brought to a point of such arousal, plus you’ve never wanted anyone as much as you want Eddie in this moment. But you swear you can feel the flared edge of his cockhead as it drags against your walls, and every ridge and vein as you move atop him. You’d never previously considered how a lack of barrier might affect things, it always being a hard boundary for you, despite whining and cajoling from previous partners. You’d assumed it was mostly a ‘guy thing’, and you had no idea how it could affect your pleasure. But it’s abundantly obvious now. 

Eddie's lips are pursed, and his grip on your thighs intensifies again as you watch the muscles of his abdomen subtly tense. Perhaps it’s time he became a bit more… involved. You’re sure he can take it, and you know he won’t hurt you.

“You can move too, Eddie. Just do what feels good.”

He‘s tentative at first, tilting his pelvis subtly and pushing up into you with such care, as if he might hurt you, or something might break. It’s incredible, the small movements feel so good, and somehow more intimate and passionate than anything you’ve done with anyone else. You reward him with soft sighs and moans in time with his movements.

Gaining confidence, he begins to move faster, pulling out further and thrusting back in with more vigour. When you join him, moving and rolling your pelvis with larger movements in time with his, your breath coming out in increasingly loud rhythmic gasps and moans, his breathing quickens, his whole body flushes, and you can't help but close your eyes and drop your head back in ecstasy until Eddie’s hands clamp onto your hips and—

“Ohmygod, ooohmyGOD.”

He’s suddenly still.

You open your eyes to check in on him, and see Eddie’s screwed up face, his eyes and mouth twisted shut, his cheeks even redder than before.

“Eddie? Are you okay?”

He babbles, quickly,

“Don’t move Princess, pleasejustdontfuckinmove. This is fuckin’ amazing and I don’t wanna ruin it!”

You want to reassure him that everything he’s doing is perfect.

“I’m close too. It doesn't matter how long this lasts, just that we both enjoy it. And I’m really, really enjoying it. Please, keep moving, Eddie. For me?"

From his beautifully wide eyes and flushed face, this definitely isn’t going to last very much longer, but you mean it, you don’t care. You’re still puffy and sensitive from his earlier ministrations, and you know it won’t be long before you fall apart all over him. You both begin to move again, quickly rebuilding a rhythm. The soft thrusts of his hips keep perfect time with the subtle rolls of yours, the lewd sounds of your mingling juices only adding to your mutual enjoyment. 

Eddie lets out little uhs and ahs in time with your movements and you adore that you’re having such an effect on him. After a particularly deep thrust followed by a vociferous grunt, he grits out, through clenched teeth,

“Does it— Christ— Does it always feel this good?”

You reply, truthfully,

“Honestly? It’s never been this good.”

He stutters out a high-pitched chuckle as he confirms,

“Holy shit, I’m in fucking heaven!”

You lunge forwards to kiss him again, brushing your nipples against his chest as you slip your tongue between his eager lips. Once again Eddie’s hand grips the back of your head and he moans loudly as his tongue plunges into your mouth. You feel the warmth of a broad palm against your lower back as he pulls you flush with his chest. The shift in position arches your back, subtly changing the angle and spreading your centre even further. 

All too soon, Eddie’s thrusts become faster and less controlled, and you match his pace, rolling your hips and pushing down onto him with increased vigour. You break apart and move up just enough so he’s in focus, wanting to see him at this perfect moment. His eyes are glazed and seem to only be half-focussing on yours, and there's a tell-tale furrow in his brow. You wonder aloud,

“You gonna cum? I wanna feel you. Let go, please.”

His hips seem to take on a life of their own now he’s not holding back. His thrusts become more fervent, and his swollen member pummels that spot inside you. You feel his pelvis slam against your clit with every stroke, and your own release careens towards you, spots of light beginning to appear in your vision and the warmth in your core reaching a heated crescendo.

With a deep, rumbling groan, easily the sexiest sound you’ve ever heard, his final thrust pushes him even deeper and his cock begins to pulse inside you. You’ve never felt anyone’s release before, and the divine sensation makes you jam your hips down, triggering your own release, and you throw your head back in ecstasy, emitting a disjointed high-pitched whine. There's more low moans from Eddie as you clench around his still-pulsing member, and you barely register the bruising grip as he digs his fingertips into your hips. 

Eventually your movements still and, spent, you pitch forward on failing arms and collapse onto his chest, breathing heavily into the crook of his neck. After a moment he wraps his arms around you, holding you close and nuzzling into your hairline.

There’s a minute of stillness, and you revel in the post-orgasmic haze. Your cunt spasms with aftershocks, eliciting contented hums from deep within Eddie’s chest. You’re warm, satisfied and feel cosy and safe with his arms wrapped around you, and you wonder whether he’s feeling the same. You hum into his skin as he traces one hand over your shoulders and back. It’s bliss.

Eventually, Eddie chuckles lightly as he mutters,

“Fuck, Princess. That was… I, um… Fuck.”

He snorts a truncated laugh, his Adam’s apple bobbing and his curls bouncing on the pillow as his head shifts to look at you. All you can manage is a dopey grin as you reply,

“Yeah. Fuck.”

You chuckle in unison, shifting until your noses touch, both tilting your chins until your lips connect in a series of soft pecks.

You’re a little nervous to ask, but something in you has to know.

“How did it feel? Fucking for the first time?”

“Shit, it was goddamn heaven, I swear! Although technically, I think you did most of the actual fucking.”

“Oh no, you did absolutely your fair share! But we can change that, if you’d like. Are you up for doing most of the fucking another time?”

Eddie’s eyebrows snap up his forehead and he looks straight at you with surprise, and just a little disbelief. 

“You, uh, want there to be a next time…?”

You roll your lips together and consider your words carefully before replying. He really has no idea how good this was for you, or that he’s already so much better than literally every guy you’ve ever slept with. But you don’t want to stroke his ego too much, at least, not just yet. You hum and fake a look of disinterest.

“Well, I guess I could make time in my schedule, to, y’know, give you a few more lessons. Purely for your benefit, of course.”

His jaw drops in faux shock.

“Hey, I know I’m not exactly an expert, but if I’m reading this right you seemed to enjoy yourself.”

You can’t keep a straight face and burst into giggles, and Eddie follows you, his fingers snaking to your waist and easily finding your ticklish spots. You huff and wriggle, but make no real attempt to disengage yourself from his grasp. If anything, you end up more entangled, and from the contented sounds that emanate from you both, it’s not something either of you mind.

You lay together for a few moments, enjoying the peace and your shared heat. But eventually your hips start to ache, and with a groan of discomfort, and more than a little reluctance, you slowly start to move. His mostly-soft cock slips out easily, and as you roll off of him you feel your combined juices run out of you, dribbling over his abdomen and coating the inside of your thighs.

You sigh as you wriggle yourself into the crook of his arm, and lay your palm on his chest, tracing lazily up and down with your fingers.

You figure Eddie must feel the cooling stickiness, because he starts to move and asks,

“Umm… Do I— Uh… Should I…? D’you need anything?”

You keep it simple.

“Umm, something to clean up with would be nice. And could I, maybe, get some water?”

The mere fact that he’s asked the question already puts him leagues above others, but you’re briefly concerned that Eddie will see this as annoying, or demanding. To your relief, he seems entirely unfazed. 

“Sure thing. You get comfy here and I’ll just be a minute.”

He wriggles sideways and backs off the bed, his beautiful grin lighting up his glowing face. His hair’s a dishevelled mess, his torso is still tinged pink and the scratches you left on his chest are an angry red, but you’ve never seen anyone so beautiful. Unable to break your gaze, he doesn’t turn until he’s already partly through the doorway. It’s sweet, and lovely, but as he leaves you’re almost sad that he didn’t turn sooner, as you’re treated to the glorious sight of his pert, peachy butt bouncing slightly as he leaves the room.

You swallow, thinking that’s a sight you could definitely get used to, but then chide yourself. He’s obviously happy to do this again, but you have no idea whether he’s… feeling the same way you are. But at that moment you make a decision - you’re absolutely going to broach the subject before you leave. Definitely. 

Probably. 

Maybe...

There’s the sound of running water and minutes later Eddie returns with a warm, damp washcloth and a small towel, and promptly disappears again. You clean yourself up as best you can and then take him at his word and get comfy, wrapping yourself up in his sheets before rolling onto your side and perusing the myriad objects atop his nightstand. There’s a full ashtray, loose keys, a lighter, a couple of rings, an empty pretzel tube, rolling papers, a creased music magazine and a lot of dust. A battered copy of a Tolkien novel catches your eye, and you pick it up and start to flip through it. There’s folded corners and pages marked with scraps of paper, notes and doodles in the margins and words written in runes in Eddie’s messy scrawl. You imagine it must be one of his most treasured possessions.

Just as you’re halfway through deciphering a short runic message, Eddie enters with snacks clasped in his hands and between his teeth. There's water, cold soda, pretzels, potato chips, a bowl with a few grapes in it, and half a bar of chocolate. His soft, but still pretty, cock swings with abandon as he heads towards you and dumps his haul onto the bed in front of you.

It’s all perfect. He’s perfect…

As the final packet leaves his mouth he spots what you have in your hand.

“I brought snacks too, I hope that’s okay. Whatcha got there, Princess?”

You drop the paperback like it’s burned you, blustering,

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to snoop.”

“That’s alright, you can look. There’s nothing incriminating in there. Not gonna tell you where that stuff is, mind you."

He pulls a comical face as he flops down onto the bed, the old springs squeaking in protest, and you giggle, thinking about your journal and wondering whether he does indeed have any similarly incriminating stuff anywhere, as you admit,

“I read The Hobbit once. I liked it, but I found the other books too heavy going. Is that awful? Are you gonna throw me out now?”

You wince and add a deliberately over-expansive pout. Eddie’s hair shakes wildly as he responds emphatically,

“Oh, god no! You’d have to do a lot worse than that for me to ever let you go…”

You think he’s just being funny, but then his eyes soften suddenly, and you wonder whether, deep down, he actually means that. Your tummy flutters at the thought. But before you can dwell, his face brightens, and, breaking your thought process, he continues excitedly,

“Maybe I could read them to you sometime? I could explain it as I go. And I promise to skip any really dull parts.”

You smile and nod eagerly in agreement, imagining lazy days spent cuddling with Eddie reading aloud to you as you play with his hair and memorise his tattoos. You can’t pass this moment up, you have to say something. And, in just a minute, you will. You’re almost certain of it.

You sit up and lean back against the wall, and Eddie joins you, pulling his sheets and comforter around you both. You lean in close as you snack on your impromptu and welcome picnic, sometimes feeding each other small morsels, and he makes you giggle as he kisses crumbs from the side of your mouth and fake-bites your fingers. 

Food devoured, you snuggle against him with his arm slung around your shoulders. You bring a finger up to trace his ink, and he hums contentedly as you run your fingertips through his soft chest hair again. 

Okay, girl. Just do it.

Gathering yourself, you take a deep breath, holding it for far too long before the words tumble out of you.

“I’ve really enjoyed this, Eddie. Not just, y’know, this, but also the tutoring, and getting to know you. Shit, I’m probably messing this up so bad. I guess what I’m trying to say is… and I don’t know how you’d feel about this, but… we could carry this on. Properly. If— you wanted to.” 

Eddie stares at you for a moment, before he stammers, 

“We— we could?”  

A goofy smile appears on his face.

Bolstered, you gather your nerve and continue,

“And… I could be more than just your tutor. If you wanted me to be?”

Eddie replies, with a little trepidation, 

“Are you serious? You’d wanna be more than, y’know, this?” 

He gesticulates over both of your pelvises.

“Yeah. I was thinking… Fuck, I hope this isn’t too much. Will you tell me if this is too much? I thought… If you like… I could even, maybe… be your girlfriend?”

Eddie inhales quickly and his chest puffs, you hope with joy, but fucking hell you hope you haven’t overstepped and it’s actually horror.

“If I’d like? Shit, I would absolutely like that. Very, very much...”

He brings one hand up to stroke the side of your head, and then runs it lightly down over your shoulder and the side of your arm. He places a firm, lingering kiss to your lips before pulling back, smiling.

You stare into each other’s eyes, the gravity of the moment not lost on either of you. The nervous pit in your stomach is completely dissolved by a warm, honeyed sensation, as you slowly process that Eddie said yes, and that you’ve just snagged yourself the cutest, sweetest, sexiest boyfriend ever. 

You lean in, capturing Eddie’s plush lips in another chaste but oh-so-meaningful kiss. He presses forward to kiss you back, relaxing and heaving out a low sigh before his lips quirk into a devious-looking smirk, failing to hide his mischievous tone as he asks,

“I do have one question. If you’re my girlfriend now, do I still have to wait a whole week before we can do this again?”

You snort at his silliness.

“No, Eddie, you definitely don’t. In fact, what are you doing this weekend? Would you like to come over to my place? I’ve got plenty of ideas for more lessons, and I’m sure there’s lots we can teach each other.”

Eddie growls playfully before enthusiastically agreeing, prying excitedly for details like dates and times and possible activities. Although he seems more than fine with your company, you don’t want to push things too far or outstay your welcome, so when you glance at his bedside clock and see that it’s already way past the time you’d usually leave you turn to him with a resigned huff.

Eddie responds, 

“It’s that time already?”

You give him a glum little nod, and he continues,

“Do you really have to go? I mean, couldn’t you stay a little longer? I’d really like that.”

Smiling, you nuzzle in closer to him. 

“I was kinda hoping you’d say that boyfriend.”

In a surprising display of both strength and newly-found confidence, Eddie pushes your shoulder and flips you onto your back, scattering the empty packets and bowls across the bed and onto the floor. His pretty curls frame his face and tickle your cheeks as he looms over you, and his burgeoning erection feels hot as he presses it into the crease of your thigh.

He leans down, and his beautiful nose brushes yours as he murmurs,

“You know these lessons you’re talking about, Princess. How about we start right now?”

You hum into the kiss he plants on your lips and roll your hips upwards into him, making him moan. But before this particular lesson can go any further, you’re both disturbed by the sounds of the trailer door loudly opening and closing, and the rustle of fabric as someone removes what sounds like a heavy coat.

You and Eddie freeze, eyes wide and locked on each other's. 

“Oh shit, it’s my uncle!”

You gasp, and then both frantically sit up and scramble off the bed to get dressed, nervously giggling and flinging each other’s clothing across the room.

You’re almost done, and in record time too. But as you bend to retrieve a sock, Eddie's treated to the sight of your skirt lifting, revealing your bare cunt, a little of his spend leaking out of you. He’s momentarily struck dumb, and his jaw drops. But another noise outside snaps him back to reality. Stuttering, he mumbles,

“You don’t have any… uh…”

He waves a hand in the vague direction of your lower half, his cheeks reddening as he remembers what he did earlier on with your panties.

“It’s okay, Eddie. After that first time, I thought it would probably be a good idea to keep some spares in my bag.”

Standing, you wink at him. He pulls a thick lock of hair over his cheek, embarrassed, screwing up his eyes and realising he’s been completely and utterly caught. He tries to apologise, his words clipped,

“Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn't have done that.”

“You know, from anyone else I’d have found it creepy, but from you I find it oddly flattering.”

He grins widely, and is just about to pull you into an embrace when there’s another noise, a gravelly voice this time, 

“Is this paper yours, son? You didn’t steal this from another kid again, did’ya?”

Eddie looks slightly bashful for a moment but there’s no time to dither. It's time to face whoever’s out there. Eddie opens his door and leaves first, beckoning you encouragingly to follow him. Standing in the narrow hallway by the kitchen, you come face to face with Eddie’s uncle for the first time. He’s clutching Eddie’s test paper, and his deep frown, grizzled features and broad frame cut an imposing figure. When he eyes the pair of you, you can’t help but feel a little nervous. 

Eddie speaks first, and addresses his uncle, a little sarcastically,

“Yes, that is indeed my test paper. And I’ll thank you for not looking quite so surprised.” 

The big man’s brows furrow a little deeper, and you can’t tell whether it’s with consternation or amusement, as his gaze flicks between the two of you. Eddie clears his throat and introduces Wayne to you, and tells his uncle your name. You think that’s it, until he straightens up a little, and with a confidence you weren’t expecting he slips an arm around your shoulders. He grips you tightly before adding, with a little nod, as if he’s practicing the words and still convincing himself, 

“And, uh, she’s my girlfriend.”

Oh. You like how it sounds coming from his lips.

Wayne’s forehead crinkles as his bushy eyebrows raise, but before you have time to worry his face splits into a wide grin. He extends a work-grizzled hand and shakes yours powerfully as he says, in a much lighter tone,

“Well, ain’t this the nicest news for this old soul to come home to. It’s a pleasure to meet you, darlin’.”

His voice is warm and kind, and you believe it. Looking between you and his nephew, Wayne adds,

“Do we have the pleasure of your company this evening? You caught us at a good time, I’ve just been huntin’n’gatherin’.”

He gestures towards the kitchen area. You see full bags piled onto the counter, mac’n’cheese boxes, eggs and a few vegetables peeking from the tops, and realise it’s a dinner invitation. You gape a couple of times, far from expecting this level of domestic intimacy, and Eddie seems to pick up on it and answers for the both of you.

“Not tonight. I’m gonna drop this lovely lady back home, and then I’ll come help you chop veggies, ‘kay?”

He sweeps an arm wide, directing you towards his front door, and you pad over to collect the rest of your belongings, careful when you bend so as not to reveal your lack of underwear to anyone who wasn’t expecting it. You clasp Eddie’s divine drawing to your chest, handling it with especial care. Behind you, you hear the two men mutter-whispering, Wayne speaking first.

“Is this the tutor girl you’ve been talking about non-stop these last few weeks? You finally asked her out, huh?”

You can hear the smile in Eddie’s voice as he responds,

“Keep your voice down, old man. Um, that’s not exactly how it happened, but yeah, that’s her.”

Eddie looks over to you with a fond smile on his face as you pick up your backpack, and he comes over to you and helps you with your shoes before you leave ahead of him. The last thing you hear before the door closes behind you both is Wayne speaking once more.

“Good for you, son. It’s about damn time!”

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Thank you so much for reading! (And for sticking with me through the longest update gap I think I’ve ever had, ILY 🙏💗) This completes our main ‘lessons’, but don’t fret - I have some more Extra Credits planned for these two 😉

If you liked this please, please like, comment and, especially, reblog - it’s the only way fics stay alive, and it means so much to writers to get your reactions and feedback, it’s what keeps us sharing our work 💗💋

“It’s that time already?” is a prompt from @promptsh20, it fitted so well with this section of the story I just had to include it 😊 The “It’s never been this good” lines are adapted from a film, the name of which I’ve now forgotten 🙈, and the “Do that again” was inspired by a Ryan Reynolds line in Green Lantern (if I can’t have him say it to me IRL I’m damn well gonna have Eddie do it in a fic 😛)

I proofed this as much as I could but my brain turned to mush, so if there are any errors or anyone grows an extra limb or something please tell me 🙏😅

Taglist part one: @airen256 @bimbotrashcan @urlbitchin @guiltyasquinn @jamdoughnutmagician @rustboxstarr @bl4ckt00thgr1n @bexreadstoomuch @cozmiccass @yujyujj @cluz1babe @thunderg @aysheashea @paleidiot @cadence73 @eddie-munsons-wifey @siriuslysmoking @neville-is-my-husband @aestheticaltcow @jjmaybankswifes-blog @lightcommastix @ungracefularchimedes @spenciesprincess @joejoequinnquinn @freshoutthewomb2 @sunshinepeachx @tlclick73 @hellfirenacht @yourdailymemedelivery @wendyxox @madaboutmunson @80s-addict @the-unforgivenn @skrzydlak @eddiesxangel @bunny7232 @starksbabie @comeonatmebruh @jamiecb66 @abellmunsonmovie @sheneedsrocknroll92 @daisy-munson @maedesculpaeusoubi @wonderlanddreamer @leatherfaceologist @munson-blurbs @paradisepoisons @lokidokieokie @rcailleachcola @fckyeahlames @kurdtbean PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU CHANGE YOUR URL OR DON’T WANT TO BE INCLUDED ANYMORE

[fanficfox]

ROAD HEAD (NSFW)

(schlatt x fem! reader, mentions of alcohol and intoxication, oral (m receiving) pet names, sexual acts while driving, MDNI)

schlatt wakes up out of a dead sleep to his phone ringing. He shoots up, spooked by the sudden loud ringtone in his ear. He grabs his phone to see who’s calling. He answered the phone a little groggy while still waking up. “hey babe what’s up?” Schlatt hears your voice coming though the phone a little slurred but he can still hear the cheeriness. “hey!! do you think you could come pick me up from the club?” Schlatt rubs his eyes trying to get himself more awake. He gives himself a good stretch as he responds “yeah i'll be there in 20 mins.” he starts to get out of bed putting a hoodie on and looking for shoes. “i'll be outside waiting for you” “That's good baby, I'll see you soon." "love you” you respond back, your voice is seductive and low. Schlatt didn’t miss that but he chose to just brush it off as you being drunk and flirty. He grabs his car keys. Heading out to go pick you up. After some time you finally see Schlatt pull up in his black mercedes. Once you're in the car he drives off. You look over to Schlatt. “So did you guys have fun?” he asks “yeah we had a blast. I’m a little fucked up right now but nothing i can’t handle” you laughed and so did he. “oh shit, well at least youre not sloppy” he smiles at you. The car is filled with silence for a moment but your head is full of thoughts of the things you wanna do with him. He looks a little tired like he’s starting to wake up. When you get to the red light, you start to get a little touchy. You moved a little closer to him and put a hand on his exposed thigh from the shorts he’s wearing. you started rubbing his thigh with every stroke inching closer to his cock. “What are ya doin toots?” he knew exactly what you were doing, he just wanted an answer out of you. “Oh nothing I just want to get you going”  you move closer to him and start placing kisses on his neck, his cheek, all things that you know are his favorite. you start touching him through his shorts and you can feel him growing with each kiss. the light turns green and you move back into your seat and he starts to drive again. he lets out a sigh “fuck you” he jokes. “What's wrong babe?” you try to act innocent but he wasn’t buying it. “you’re gonna do all that then leave me hanging?” he says trying to keep his eyes on the road. “the light turned green. and i didn’t know you wanted me to do anything” you smirked and turned your head away from him looking out the window. “Well what did you have in mind?” Now he’s the one with a seductive tone in his voice. you turn back to him and you notice the approaching red light. You moved back over to him to where you were before. You whisper into his ear “i wanna suck your cock right here and right now” you see his eyes widen and he turns to you biting his lip. “I won't stop you” he says and he looks around to make sure nobody is looking in even though his windows are tinted. Schlatt starts to pull his shorts down to reveal his excited hard dick. You could also see the excitement on his face. He was smiling like a kid in the candy store eagerly waiting for you to begin. you give him one last look into his eyes and you start to go down on him. You started to kiss the tip to tease him a little bit. then you lick his full length before taking him all in your mouth. his head tilts back in pleasure “fuck baby that feels so good” he moans out. he starts to drive again and he tries his best to keep his eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel. but every once in a while you would catch him peeking down at you. watching as you sucked on him. one of his hands eventually finds its way to you head. guiding you to go the pace that he feels the most good at. after some deep throating you can feel the same twitch in your mouth. schlatt cums without warning but you swallow it like a good girl. you whip your mouth with your thumb, giving him a wink. you give him a quick kiss on the lips making him taste himself. “you’re a fucking freak” he laughs “and you love every bit of it” you responded biting your lip. “you know it! how about we get you home and i return the favor?”

[saintsenara]

Hi, do you have an analysis for why you prefer bottom Tom? Most fics have him as a top, but I'm very interested in your perspective ma'am.

well, the short answer is because i want to and because i can.

the longer answer is that i just don't find any of the arguments for why voldemort would never bottom under any circumstances to be as convincing and definitive as their proponents claim them to be.

my issue - to be clear - isn't with people having a preference for reading or writing about him being a top. it's with the fact that him only being a top - and not only that, but him being repulsed or humiliated by the idea of bottoming - is typically presented as such an objective fact that preferring to read or write about him being a bottom provokes responses which range from the simply annoying - "this is out of character!" [any fic in which he consensually shags his prophesied child-enemy is out of character, be serious] - to the genuinely troubling - "it's disgusting! voldemort is a real man and real men don't want anything up their arses!".

obviously - let's be real - a lot of the arguments about why bottom!voldemort is impossible are just typical "slash fandom reinvents gender roles" shit - they essentially boil down to "omg no harry would bottom because he's the girl".

but others do come with more weight behind them. and two of these are:

that the gender norms voldemort was raised with would inculcate in him a big lump of internalised homophobia which would make him see bottoming as feminine, and - in seeing it as feminine - see it as weak, humiliating, dependent, and incompatible with his understanding of control and power. that voldemort would be horrified by the idea of being penetrated, because he would see it as something which polluted or profaned the body he considers to be sacred.

i do think it's possible to argue both of these points robustly, using actual readings of the text rather than just vibes. i've just never found any of these readings compelling.

and the reason why all comes down to this:

"I knew I was different," he whispered to his own quivering fingers. "I knew I was special. Always, I knew there was something." [HBP 13]

he's talking about something specific - how he's always known that he's a wizard - here, of course. but we can also take this statement and use it to think more generally about how he views being perceived as deviant, strange, or wrong by the norms of the society in which he lives.

by which i mean... he's somebody who believes that being different makes him special and that people who try to punish or shame him for his difference are idiots who simply haven't yet worked out that he's superior to them in literally everything he does. he's not someone who perceives being different in a self-flagellating way - he doesn't think there's something wrong with him, he doesn't think that his difference makes him a pathetic or unimpressive person. and he's also not somebody who views being criticised or punished for his difference as something which causes him sorrow or anxiety. it causes him rage - because it inconveniences him [it creates obstacles he has to overcome, although he entirely believes he can overcome them] and because it doesn't recognise his self-conception as the protagonist of reality:

Riddle's reaction to this was most surprising. He leapt from the bed and backed away from Dumbledore, looking furious. "You can't kid me! The asylum, that's where you're from, isn't it? 'Professor,' yes, of course - well, I'm not going, see? That old cat's the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they'll tell you!"   "I am not from the asylum," said Dumbledore patiently. "I am a teacher and, if you will sit down calmly, I shall tell you about Hogwarts. Of course, if you would rather not come to the school, nobody will force you -" "I'd like to see them try," sneered Riddle. "Hogwarts," Dumbledore went on, as though he had not heard Riddle's last words, "is a school for people with special abilities -"   "I'm not mad!" [HBP 13]

you can entertain a very dark reading of this scene - in fact, i have - but it's also possible to entertain a liberating one, and see the child voldemort as someone who has always been proud of his difference and prepared to defend that pride in the face of censure, and who is absolutely delighted to be given the language to define and describe his difference and to be given access to a community of people who are similarly - in his words - special.

all of which is to say... the standard interpretation in fandom seems to be that a queer voldemort would fall somewhere on a spectrum from indifferent to his sexuality to actively ashamed of it.

but i think it's much, much more plausible that he'd actually be proud of it, and for his statement - "i knew i was different... i knew i was special" - to be used as the starting point for how we might imagine him realising that he's queer.

and this is why the "he'd have so much internalised homophobia he'd never bottom" argument always falls flat for me - it rests on an assumption that queer men having to grow past a childhood/teenage fear that there's something wrong with them is the default position. it overlooks the fact that there are many ways for somebody to come to understand their own sexuality.

and that two of those ways are "defiantly" and "spitefully". aka the lord voldemort special.

something which always stands out to me about the canonical voldemort, both when he's a good-looking teenager/young man and a monstrous, serpentine adult, is that - even with all the phallic symbolism which surrounds him [enormous snakes and ultra-powerful wands and so on] - the text presents him as somebody who comes across as fairly effeminate:

he's typically described - as we can see from this excellent analysis from @said-snape-softly - as speaking "softly" or "quietly". when he isn't, he's often "shrill", "shrieking", "screeching", or "screaming".

he has a hair-trigger temper and he's extremely emotionally volatile.

he's typically described as moving in ways which have similarly feminine connotations - he "drifts" and "glides". while the primary doylist reason for this is clearly so the reader associates him with snakes, ghosts, and dementors, it ends up giving him a quality of movement which is fey, rather than powerful and purposeful. indeed, we only ever see him do one thing which requires physical, as well as magical, prowess - duelling. but, like fencing - which is its real-world equivalent - good duellists aren't people who are physically strong or imposing, they're people who are cunning and nimble [and the other men the text emphasises are good at it are snape, flitwick, and harry - with harry's quick reflexes being explicitly given as a reason why [i.e. GoF 34] ]. his ability to fly is a demonstration of his magical power alone, since it allows him to circumvent the need to use a broom, which does appear to require physical strength [hence why the only main characters who aren't fond of using brooms are either women or fat, cowardly little boys like neville...]

building on this, he's often described in ways which make him sound quite physically fragile - he's very thin, he's very pale, he's always cold, every time his heartbeat is described it seems to be irregular and so on.

his reputation in his teens and young adulthood is as a "polite [and] quiet" goody-two-shoes who "showed no sign of outward arrogance or aggression at all" [HBP 17]. i think that point about aggression is really important - it builds on what mrs cole tells dumbledore about it being "very hard to catch him" bullying other orphans [HBP 13]. he's not dudley - or james and sirius - using his physical talents to subdue and control people. he's sneakier... more insidious... indeed, in chamber of secrets, ron explicitly compares him to percy - somebody else the text presents as fairly effete - in order to complain about him "squealing" - aka, running to tell a teacher, like a girl, instead of settling things like a man - on hagrid [CoS 14].

when he's a young man, living alone for the first time, the text thinks it's very important to tell us that he has "slightly longer hair" than he does at school [HBP 20]. "slightly" is obviously the operative word here - i don't think he's strutting into hepzibah smith's house in a twenty-four inch lace-front - but we can certainly imagine him with the sort of greaser or pompadour haircut which was understood in the 1950s as being a bit counter-cultural...

of the five horcruxes which are objects - rather than harry and nagini [who is, of course, female] - three [cup, diadem, locket] originally belonged to a woman and are acquired from a woman, two [cup, locket] are acquired by killing a woman using a stereotypically female murder method [poison], two are connected to voldemort's rage at his mother being disparaged [locket - he's furious to hear hepzibah say that merope must have stolen it, ring - he attacks morfin immediately after morfin calls his mother a "slut"]. and all five of these horcruxes also depend on women to introduce them into the narrative in a way that facilitates their destruction: the diary is given to ginny; dumbledore puts on the ring in order to speak to his sister; the locket is associated both with walburga's grief [it's literally moved from the cave - voldemort's grave for his mother - to the house which is walburga's own tomb!] and with umbridge's performance of femininity; the cup is given to bellatrix [and the text is very clear that both she and voldemort understand it as having only been given to her, rather than to her and rodolphus] and is then destroyed - albeit off-stage - by hermione; and harry is given the tools to acquire the diadem by cho, luna, and mcgonagall, although he has to overcome the obstacles of alecto carrow and helena ravenclaw to get hold of it. harry - of course - also only becomes a horcrux because of a woman - lily's - sacrifice.

his favourite death eaters are a woman and a very feminine-coded man. but - more interestingly - what the text finds unimpressive isn't that he likes bellatrix and snape... it's that he leaves a lot of his dirty work to male minions who are characterised by their brutish strength - people like greyback, hagrid [who he makes carry harry up to hogwarts], rowle, gibbon, amycus carrow and so on. there's the heavy implication in the text that voldemort's preference for leaving the violence to others - as i'm always pointing out, his canonical kill count is really low; most of the murders in the series are done by other death eaters acting on his orders - is something we should see as weak.

the text associates him with this effeminacy - i think it's really important to note, given who jkr is - as a criticism. it's something - much like the text's presentation of him as aromantic, and the fact that the degradation of his looks via the creation of the horcruxes makes him look sexless/eunuch-like - being used to underscore his villainy. he's feminine-coded in a toxic way.

but let's take this in another direction [and let's also return to the actual question you asked me...] and read him as someone who has always had to deal with being perceived as queer by other people, and having that perception be associated with negative assumptions.

he's very easy to imagine as a child/teenager who's the target of ridicule from his fellow orphans/fellow students [for not being sporty, for liking to sit in the library for hours on end coming up with anagrams of his own name, for the way he walks and speaks] which hinges on the idea that his failure to conform to the expected conventions of "proper" masculinity mean that he's not a proper man... and that if he's not a proper man then... he's not straight.

but then we have to come back to the "i knew i was special" point, don't we?

voldemort's belief in his own superiority can - in my view - be used to read him as somebody who would embrace being camp or effeminate or whatever term we want to use, in order both to express his contempt for people who criticise him ["think i'm a messed up little deviant, do you, mrs cole? well, you don't know the half of it!"] and who conform to social norms he thinks are reprehensible ["oh, do purebloods frown upon bottoming, abraxas? well - guess what - so do muggles. do you agree with what muggles think?"] and to humiliate, subjugate, and control them ["you think i'm a faggot, do you...? well, you're right... i'm a faggot who's defeated you in battle and now i'm about to kill you... still feel like a man?"].

while - obviously - appearance/gender presentation has nothing to do with preferred sexual roles - the manliest men on earth can be bottoms! being femme doesn't prevent you topping! - i really do think that voldemort is someone who can be written entirely canon-coherently as thinking that the homophobic perception of bottoming as weak, powerless, or humiliating is complete nonsense, and who would actively flaunt his rejection of this perception as a way to mock people who subscribe to it.

after all, we see him do something similar in canon when it comes to his blood-status and social class. the death eaters - lots of whom are posh pureblood men who conceive of themselves as the most important people in the universe - are made to kneel at the feet of and kiss the robes of and be branded like cattle by and be at the beck and call of someone who's neither pureblood nor posh. there are - as lupin tells us - no wizarding princes... and yet the closest things the wizarding world has to an aristocracy are rolling around on the ground debasing themselves and calling a half-blood orphan "my lord".

voldemort does this to humiliate them. but he also does this to amuse himself - à la logan roy making men who've displeased him play "boar on the floor".

[wormtail being forced to care for him when he's in his half-form at the start of goblet of fire, for example. he's not humiliated in the slightest by his dependence on wormtail... wormtail is humiliated by it, and voldemort finds it hilarious.]

and so i think we can plausibly imagine him also deeply enjoying making his straight, married, "i would die before i let anything near my arse", "i'm not getting changed for quidditch with so-and-so there, he's queer", "i'd disown my son if i found out he let other men fuck him" death eaters grovel for the favour of someone who loves getting railed...

this deeply aligns with how voldemort understands things like power and control - and it's why the argument that he'd only top because he would regard it as the only way of being powerful and controlling never hits for me.

because this also rests on an assumption - that the bottom always understands themselves as the passive partner. i do think the fandom is broadly getting better at recognising that bottoms and submissives are different things [although the bar was on the floor...], but i think there's still a tendency to default to the idea that the two people involved in sex are an active partner and a passive partner, and that the passive partner is - for want of a better term - the receptacle.

the language used around bottoming reinforces this assumption. its voice is passive - the bottom is penetrated, is bred, is fucked, is taken - its verbs are passive too - the top does, the bottom receives.

but the thing is... this is just semantics. and it's a semantic argument directly rooted in misogyny, and the homophobia which stems from and connects to it.

and - since it's just semantics - we can change the language we use at any time to completely reconfigure the assumed power dynamic.

the bottom grants access. the bottom consumes. the bottom takes. the bottom absorbs. the bottom uses. the bottom captures. the bottom detains. the bottom grips. the bottom devours. the bottom permits. the bottom destroys.

the top is the person who's passive - who receives permission, who is granted access, who is consumed, who is absorbed, who is captured. the top is the person having their life-force leached from them. they're just a toy, just a piece of meat. they literally don't matter.

and the text already uses this sort of language - the language of consumption and capture and permission to cross thresholds and so on - to talk about voldemort's attitude to power, magic, and the body.

he drains the blood of unicorns; he uses up the life-force of the people and animals he possesses; he grows stronger by consuming ginny's secrets; he is restored to his body by taking from his father, wormtail, and harry; he takes the money dumbledore offers without feeling the need to thank him or regard it as a gift; he offers up gifts to people he wants to use for his own gain; he "doesn't march up to people's houses and bang on their front doors" [OotP 6]; he hoards and conceals precious things; his soul is kept safe by being encased by the horcruxes; his locket is guarded by something which has to be drunk, which destroys anyone who assumes they can simply take it without his permission; he "would be glad to see anything miss hepzibah shows me" [HBP 20] and then seizes her secrets and uses them to bring about her doom; his descent from slytherin is proven by his control of the threshold of the chamber of secrets; he places himself and his talents at dumbledore's disposal, "i am yours to command" [HBP 20]; he controls snakes and they do his bidding; he drains the ministry of its secrets; he controls the dementors, who devour joy; augustus rookwood "has lord voldemort's gratitude... i shall need all the information you can give me" [OotP 26]; he is the greatest legilimens - that is to say, he is excellent at pulling other people's secrets into his own mind and using them as he wishes - the world has ever seen; he has seen ron's heart and it is his; his followers live to serve him...

his followers are called death eaters, not death fuckers.

and so it's inarguable, really, that he'd have a legion of service tops under his command...

[ooooo-mcyt]

I think Traffic Smp Grian desperately needs to learn that other people are not his responsibility.

Grian is a caretaker and a leader, it's natural for him to take control of a group and look out for its members. Grian is good at delegating, giving orders, making plans, and motivating people. That + outright work and gift giving are his main ways of showing affection and care toward people.

This can be a very positive thing. Grian is often good for his groups, and caretaking seems like a very natural way for him to express his feelings as well. However, I think Grian really tends to internalize this role to a degree that's harmful to himself.

I've talked before about how Grian is very prone to unnecessary guilt spirals, and I think the main reason he internalizes so much guilt every time something goes wrong is because Grian's convinced himself it's his job to single handedly hold everything together all the time. Grian believes he's supposed to keep everything afloat, so when something bad happens, he's more likely to think it's his fault by default.

Grian's caretaking can also go too far and damage his relationships instead of helping them. Caretaking is his main way of showing affection, yes, but when it becomes a matter of obligation rather than desire to help, you can see resentment build, times where Grian can come across as overbearing to his teammates, or where he's so worn down by his own self imposed responsibility that he ends up taking it out on the people he's trying to look out for.

(there is also something to be said for the lack of outward gratitude he gets. of course, nobody demands grian take care of them, and a big part of the reason he doesn't get more acknowledgement is because he actively downplays his acts of service while doing them. but i feel like a little bit of recognition would go a long way here.)

Generally, I think Grian desperately needs to pay more attention to himself and recognize that other people are not his responsibility. That isn't to say he should stop caretaking, but rather that he should be more aware of his own needs/feelings and when something isn't his problem to take accountability for.

Because as things are, Grian tends to internalize far too much responsibility over other people at his own expense and without much recognition for his efforts. Which doesn't help anybody.

[noxiatoxia]

Komaeda Nagito, and His Tendency to Use Filler Words

I've talked about this here and there, but I want to make an in-depth post with examples.

So, something that's always bothered me about the Eng release of SDR2 is the fact that Komaeda...does not use filler words as much as he should.

Let me explain.

I'm sure you know words such as "uh" "um" "ah" "er" and suchlike. When you don't know something or are thinking, you tend to say something like, "Um...yeah, so..." or "My, um, appointment is tomorrow."

These words add no "value" to the sentence, and are only placed involuntarily while speaking because you are trying to think as you speak.

Japanese has plenty of these, too. Words like えーと(etto), あの (ano), ううん (uun), ええ (ee), and so forth.

But there's other "filler" words out there. Like our earlier sentence, "Um...yeah, so..." "Um" is not the only filler word. "Yeah, so" is also a filler word, as it adds nothing to the overall sentence. It can be removed.

Really, any word can become a filler word. "You know" and "like" have real applications, but if you, like, start, like, talking like this, it's, you know, kind of repetitive, you know?

I think the vast majority of people on Earth are guilty of speaking like this in their day-to-day lives. It's just easy to do. But when it comes to media, you'll notice characters rarely stutter or repeat words. When they do, even if it's a small amount, it's noticeable because the surrounding context is that nobody else is doing it.

With all this information in mind, let's talk about Komaeda Nagito's dialogue.

実はさ、ボクは入学前に、ネットでみんなの情報を調べてきてるんだよね。

さ(sa), is a normal sentence particle in Japanese. It's used for a myriad of purposes, although many people seem to liken it to the American "Valley Girl" accent when overused, especially with another conversation particle, ね (ne).

It is a misconception that sa is "masculine". It used to be masculine way back, but nowadays it's more or less gender neutral.

This will be the topic of the post. Komaeda tends to use sa and ne in a way that is seen as "filler". These particles can be likened to "you know?" and "like" in the sense that they are real words that serve purposes, but can be repetitive.

In the sentence above, I would say the ne is not being used in a filler-like way. Sa, however, is.

"So, to be honest, before I arrived at this school, I, um, did a little research about everyone on the internet."

In this way, sa, ne, or any other particle when overused (な na is another big one, and I see Souda using it a lot) can be any filler word. Some would argue that the sentence should maybe look more like...

"So, you see, to be honest, before I arrived at this school, I did a little research about everyone on the internet."

And this is equally as correct. It's more in-line with how sa as a particle is normally used, but when translating it as how it's being used here - as a filler word - "um" may sound more appropriate in English. Neither is incorrect however, and there's a myriad of other ways you could go about writing this.

"So, you know, to be honest..."

"So, like, to be honest..."

"...I kind of did a little research..."

"...I, well, did a little research..."

etc.

ううん、いいんだよ。複雑なのはボク自身もそうだからさ。

Here, I wouldn't describe sa as being a filler word...necessarily. It adds emphasis, but it's still completely optional. Thus, I wouldn't translate it as a word imperative to the sentence's meaning.

"No, no, I totally get it. I have pretty mixed feelings about this, too."

最初はね…恐れ多いって断ったんだよ。でも、どうしてもって言われてさ。

Here is an example of him using ne in a filler-like way. You've probably caught on that particles which stand-in as filler are used usually at the beginning of a sentence before a comma or ellipses.

Komaeda actually uses ne in this manner fairly often. One of his default voice lines is "boku wa ne..." - I am unsure how this was recorded in the English dub. Probably just "I..." but personally I'd go with "Well, I..." or "I, uh..."

And unlike earlier, I would say the sa here at the ending is indeed more filler-like (not entirely still, though. Akin to the usage above).

"Um, honestly, at first…I was humbled, but I refused. But, well, they wouldn't stop insisting on it…"

By the way, Komaeda is not putting himself down in this scene. Japanese culture emphasizes being polite in a way Western spaces do not. "I don't deserve it" is a very direct translation, but in English, it makes more sense to read it as "I humbly declined".

And all these examples are just in the first conversation you have with him! You can imagine how many more there are through the whole game.

Now, here's a big question I'm sure you're thinking: "Why was this left out?"

I don't know to be honest, because...they did it with other characters.

Such as Koizumi in the same game:

だってさ、なんだか変なヤツばっかりじゃん。天才だか超高校級だか知らないけどさ…

Although Koizumi suffers from some of the same translation choices made with Komaeda, hers appears to be more consistent.

Finally, we need to talk about Naegi Makoto. He and Komaeda share beyond a voice actor - they talk the same, too. They both use the same self pronoun and you pronoun, use the same script, and also have a habit of using ne and sa in excess...though Naegi maybe does it slightly less.

Also confusing, this sometimes gets translated, like here:

そうそう、こんな危険な学校だしさ、何があるかわからないでしょ？ だから…念の為にさ。

The only reason I can think it only happens sometimes or, in Komaeda's case, not at all, is some translators on the team either didn't feel it was important to include/didn't think about it, while other translators did. Game translation typically has more than one person at the helm. A lack of good management can lead to weird discrepancies like this.

Anyways, that's all I got for now. I hope you find it interesting, because it's one of my absolute favorite character quirks of Komaeda and I am so sad it doesn't get any love in English...

[fizzyapplecandy]

The one with the vampire royals and their doll - Part 5

Previous parts can be found here

Ateez Seonghwa X Hongjoong X Reader

Genres and warnings: vampire Matz x human reader, strangers to lovers, poly relationship, fluff, angst, mild smut, mature language, talking about blood

Word count: 2.5k

You share a special moment with Seonghwa, and he barely holds back his hunger

"So, where are you taking me?"

It was still surreal that you were sitting in a ten thousand dollar car with an ethereal man who not only gifted you jewelry, but he was taking you on a mysterious outing. Seonghwa's lips pulled back in a smirk and he glanced at you.

"To my favourite place in this town." he says.

You frown. "Okay, again, that doesn't tell me much."

He chuckles. "You're just impatient. I don't want to spoil it."

You let a comfortable silence envelope you after that. You didn't want to pry because he obviously wanted to do something nice for you. It was almost dark outside, and the stars were starting to appear in the sky. It's difficult to see them clearly this time of year because it was slowly starting to get cloudy. You didn't like fall and winter because you were always cold, and there is never anything fun to do.

The car stopped and Seonghwa lightly grazed your arm to get your attention.

"We're here. We just have to take a short walk through the trees."

Looking out the window you noticed you were in a wooded area on the upper part of the town. It wasn't really a place you ever went to, and you were kind of nervous. As if he could sense your jitters, he put a finger under your chin and turned your head towards him.

"Hey now doll, we don't have to go if you don't want to. It would be a shame though, but I respect your wishes."

You sighed. "It's not that I don't want to. It's just..."

He nodded for you to go on.

"I don't know you that well, and were about to walk into the woods."

Seonghwa chuckled, caressing your cheek.

"Oh doll... You're a smart one, I give you that. You can text your little friend if you want, send him your location."

You lightly leaned into his touch, and he seemed pleased with your actions, even if you were unaware of them.

"I'll... I'll do that. Thank you. It's nothing personal really, just a precaution if you will."

Shooting a quick text to Yeosang, you told him you were done and the both of you got out of the car. It was pretty chilly now, and you didn't take your jacket with you this morning. Seonghwa caught the sound of your teeth clattering, and he felt sad for a second. If you were the same as him, you would never feel cold, hungry, tired... The worst part of it was that he couldn't warm you with his body, seeing as his skin remained ice cold for hundreds of years now.

He could, however, offer you his blazer.

You felt something drop around your shoulders and looked at Seognhwa, now only clad in a dress shirt.

"Seonghwa! You'll freeze in that! Here, take this back."

His hands stopped yours from pulling the garment off, and he arranged it to cover you again. He couldn't keep his hands off you tonight, because his fingers were caressing your cheek again.

"Don't worry about me. Please, I insist." Without waiting for your reply, he took you by the hand and started walking down a pebbled path.

"This way, my dear. It's just a short walk."

You were surprised how well he navigated through the rough terrain, managing to stay as graceful as a swan, while you stumbled on your feet quite a few times.

"When I feel overwhelmed with the world, I usually come here to feel some peace. Nobody besides Hongjoong knows about this spot." He glanced at you before continuing.

"I hope you can use it when some days get tough. I also hope you think of me."

Your cheeks warmed, and you smiled at him. Before you could say anything, Seonghwa moved a tree branch and your breath got caught in your throat.

You were up on a cliff, the town you live in lighting up in the distance. When you looked up, the stars could be seen as clear as day. The sky was truly beautiful at night, and you missed being able to count the shining diamonds up there.

"Do you like it?"

Seonghwa now stood by your side, hand still holding onto yours, and he gazed down on you with a twinkle in his eyes.

You swallowed, breaking out of your daze.

"It's... It's beautiful, Seonghwa. I can see why you like it."

The wind picked up a bit, and seeing how you were up on a cliff, you felt shivers going down your spine. Seonghwa stepped behind you, letting go of your hand in favour of wrapping both arms around your shoulders. You were now pressed against him, but you had to admit it didn't help in bringing you warmth. You didn't want to say anything because you knew he'd move away.

You almost forgot about an important thing - he was married.

"Seonghwa... Are you sure this is okay?" You were too afraid to look up at him, so you just continue staring ahead at the bright lights shining from your town.

"Why wouldn't it be? We're just sharing some... Body heat." It felt almost unnatural for Seonghwa to say something like that, but he couldn't stop himself from wrapping you in his embrace. He could be selfish for a moment, you'd warm up in the car.

"Yeah, but... I mean..." You pointedly stared at the precious ring you gave up not so long ago, and he caught up quickly.

"Oh! You're worried about Hongjoong?" He chuckled.

His head was now perched on your shoulder, his arms tightening around you. He slowly came closer to your ear, and the shivers you felt weren't from the cold now.

"To be honest doll... He'd probably be jealous of me right now."

"Jealous?!" You almost shouted.

"That's right." He said.

He was still too close, but you mustered the courage to turn your head and look at him. His eyes were half closed, and his gaze made you feel shy all of the sudden.

"Why would he... I mean... He's your..."

You stumbled with your words, feeling him squeeze you even closer.

Seonghwa leaned his forehead against yours, and you stopped breathing for a second.

"My husband, yes. But you... You're our doll now. At least, we hope you want to be. However, I think he needs to be present for that conversation. For now... Just enjoy the moment. Don't worry your pretty head about it."

You managed to nod, not understanding a word he meant, but you were too frozen to react. He was close, too close. His eyes darted over your face, stopping when he reached your lips. You unconsciously licked your lips, and you swear his mouth twitched. He took a deep breath, and you didn't expect his next move at all.

Seonghwa pushed you away, a bit harshly, and turned around. You could see his whole body shaking, but you had no clue what to do.

"Seonghwa? Are you okay? Did I do something?"

He rolled his shoulders before slowly turning towards you again. His expression was now blank, but he still reached for your hand. It seemed to calm him a bit, and he cleared his throat.

"Sorry, doll. Maybe the cold got to me suddenly. Should we go back now? You must be tired."

His tone seemed almost emotionless now, but you couldn't figure out what happened in the last few minutes to change the atmosphere so much.

"Oh... You're right. Here, take your blazer back, I'll manage until we get to the car."

He shook his head, his tense expression lightening slightly.

"No, doll. Keep it around you, you need it more. Come now, let's head to the car."

Without another word, he slowly guided you down the path to his car. There was definitely something up with him, but you didn't want to agitate him with your questions. Maybe you said something wrong? Maybe he realised it wouldn't be okay to stay this close to you because of Hongjoong?

"Now where did you wander off?"

His voice brought you out of your head and into the present again. You stumbled a bit on your words.

"I-I... Well... I-Is.."

His hands grabbed yours and he crouched to be at eye level.

"Breathe. I told you, everything is fine. Now, get inside before you turn into a popsicle." He chuckled.

"Although, I wouldn't mind a sweet treat."

You probably looked like a fool trying to decipher his words because he burst into laughter.

"Oh doll... You sweet, sweet thing."

He opened the door for you and guided you inside, buckling your seatbelt again. You were too out of it to register him until he started the car.

You fidgeted with your fingers until his palm covered your shaking hands.

"I want you to know that I had a wonderful time. I am delighted you loved the spot, and you can use it whenever you feel overwhelmed, or you just want to run away from the world. I'd be happy to join you anytime, Hongjoong as well."

Your head turned to glance at him, and he had a far more relaxed expression on his face now. It seemed like the tension melted, and you were glad it didn't last long.

"Thank you, Seonghwa. I would love to go there again sometime."

The ride turned peaceful afterwards, and you felt at ease with his big hand wrapped around both of yours. You kept it light with the small talk, enjoying getting to know him a bit more. He sometimes talked as if he came out of a regal era, but it suited him. Hongjoong was definitely the more relaxed out of the two, and you could see how they complimented each other with their behaviours.

Your building came into view after some time, but it felt too soon for you. Seonghwa seemed to be on the same page.

"Here we are doll. I must say, I miss you already."

"I haven't even left the car yet." You said, followed by a chuckle.

"Doesn't matter. I know you're about to leave, and that's unfortunate. Say doll..."

"Yes?"

"Can we arrange a date with you soon? My husband and I are getting a bit impatient." He smiled after asking you.

You frowned a bit. "You both keep calling it a date, but okay."

Seonghwa lightly squeezed your hands as if to say 'It is', but you didn't want to divulge in that topic.

"I already told him I have some plans this Saturday-"

"-Then we can do it on Sunday."

You went silent for a moment before bursting into genuine laughter. It was like you were a teenager all over again.

"Eager, are we?" The laughter died down as his face came close to yours again.

His nose almost touched yours before we shrugged.

"What can I say, you mesmerize us that much."

The blush on your cheeks was instantaneous, and Seonghwa lightly brushed over one with his fingers.

"What a beauty..." He almost sighed out of pleasure.

If he hadn't moved first, you'd probably still be in that position, too shy to do anything.

"Now, off you go. You need to warm up and get some sleep. Hongjoong will be here in the morning to take you to work, I'll pick you up after."

You opened your mouth to protest, but closed it after he held a finger in the air.

"No, no. I don't want to hear a word. Let us do this, we want it."

Your mouth closed, and honestly you were past the point of arguing about it anymore. Accepting their offer was the easiest way to go.

"Okay, If that's what you want. Tell Hongjoong I said hi, and I'll see you both tomorrow."

Seonghwa reached over to unclasp your seatbelt, and he took the chance to caress your cheek again. He couldn't stop touching you, and you weren't complaining, so he took it as a good sign.

"See you tomorrow, doll. We hope you give us an answer for Sunday."

"Y-Yeah. Bye, Seonghwa." Before you could say something embarrassing, you practically jumped out of the car and speed walked towards your building.

Turning around, you found him watching you, making sure you got to the door before he waved and drove off.

Only when you entered your apartment did you realise his blazer was still wrapped around your shoulders.

.

.

Hongjoong was on the edge of his seat. Seonghwa was supposed to be home over an hour ago, but there was no sign of him. Maybe something happened when he went to get you? Or did you change your mind about them and turn him away? Seonghwa had... Unhealthy coping mechanisms, and he got into a frenzy anytime something didn't go as he planned.

The sigh of relief he let out as he heard his husband's Porsche pulling up the driveway made his anxiety disappear.

Hongjoong got up from the couch and went to the entrance of their mansion. The man of the hour came in, a dazed expression on his face.

"Hello, my star. I was worried about you for a second." He wanted to joke some more, but Seonghwa's expression turned serious.

"I almost lost it today Joong. I almost..."

"Oh..." Hongjoong realised what he was talking about.

Seonghwa, despite being hundreds of years old, still struggled with his hunger sometimes. It wasn't even about hunger, it was about the thrill fresh, human blood gave him. He's gotten better at managing it, surely, but you were an unexpected trigger for both of them. Hongjoong was just better at dealing with it.

"Yeah, oh. Her neck was... It was so close. Her scent... I had to detangle myself from her delicate body so quickly it made her confused."

What? Hongjoong frowned a bit.

"You... What did the two of you do?"

Seognhwa realised how that might have sounded, so he explained it to his husband better.

Hongjoong was a jealous person by nature, but he looked so pleased with what Hwa was telling him. You were slowly getting used to their affection, and the only twinge of jealousy he felt was because he wasn't the one close to you today.

"So, you managed to control yourself? That's a huge improvement love. You did amazing, and you made our doll happy today."

He embraced his husband, stroking the back of his neck like he always did.

"Thank you, my love. You should have seen her, she was so close... Her lips were this close to mine." Seonghwa leaned in to show Hongjoong, and their eyes met. There will always be a flame burning between them, and the heat of the moment, fueled by Seonghwa's story about their doll, only enhances their feelings.

"This close, yeah? Say, my star... How would you have kissed her?"

Seognhwa pushed Hongjoong against the wall by the entrance, caging him in with his arms.

"Oh, love... I'm about to show you just how I would have handled our precious doll, and much more."

.

.

The relationship between the boys and our reader is getting closer! Stay tuned for future updates, because she still has to meet Wooyoung, and our favourite married couple is taking her on a date.

Lots of love, and happy reading X

[uceyliyahh]

IMPERFECT FOR YOU

summary: Miyori and Jey were in a relationship for three years until she saw him laid up with another girl that wasn’t her and it broke her heart so she decided block him on everything and focus on her career until she gets a text message from him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 4364

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Miyori

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

again mdni you have been warned.

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign @li-da-savage @ctinadiva @clubsoft

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @lilucey @usoinked @christinabae

@celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @justazzi @xbriexx @luvrsluxe @celesteheartsjey @4milly @luuvprincess @yyaktayak @yana3sworld

𝖈𝖚𝖆𝖙𝖗𝖔

uceyjucey, jazzyV, jonathanfatu, theshaderoom, and others liked your post.

miyorisworld: When He Sends U Money To Pay For Yo' Hair Appointment ���🙂‍↕️ uceyjucey: anything for you baby girl 💗 miyorisworld: @ uceyjucey keep working hard papa 💋 jonathanfatu: she ain't playing around this time uce @ uceyjuceyjazzyV: MAKE HIS POCKETS HURT DAMN RIGHT BESTIEjeyusofannnn: she's using him for money that's sadmiyorisworld: @ jeyusofannnn honey I make my own money so you can move tf around with thatjaidaparker_wwe: @ uceyjucey what the fuck? How come you can send her money for her appointments but not me? 🤨 theshaderoom: 👀👀 aaron_pierre1: oh nah

Read all comments.

OMNISCIENT Miyori was at her desk, reviewing her client files as usual, diligently jotting down notes on her iPad to ensure she was ready for her next appointment. In the midst of her work, she received a text from Jimmy and paused briefly to check what he needed.

Big Jim🫡 sent a message

Big Jim🫡: Mimi PLEASEE come get Jey he's losing his mind like deadass crashing out over here

She couldn't help but laugh at the message he had sent. Ever since Jey took her out on that special date and everything that unfolded between them that night, he seemed to be struggling with feelings of longing since he left.

She had him captivated once more, sharing intimate photos and videos while they were apart, and it was consuming him with longing.

iMessage 💬 Mimi💓: I'm not surprised I knew he was going to go crazy😭😭 Big Jim🫡: do you know I hear him moan your name whenever he's beating his meat like damn Mimi what'chu do to him?Mimi💓: I didn't do anything 🤷🏽‍♀️ just sent him pictures and videos to keep him company knowing how busy yall is I told you he has to work for it and deal with consequences JimBig Jim🫡: I understand 100 percent but please can you at least calm him down or something he's like rapid dog right nowMimi💓: when are you guys off? Or have a day off?Big Jim🫡: this upcoming weekend after Friday Night Smackdown you got something planned?Mimi💓: something like that 😁 Big Jim🫡: you planning on coming to see him if im correct?Mimi💓: yes I am actually, I know papa needs his mama badly but I should make him wait don't you think?Big Jim🫡: shiii if I tell him that he's going to be pissed off even moreMimi💓: go on ahead and tell emBig Jim🫡: you is evil Mimi but aightMimi💓: kk tell Trin I said heyyBig Jim🫡: will do ma'am

After she sent a message to Jimmy, she quickly received a text from Jey that made her laugh even harder at the predicament he was in, fully aware of how much he relied on her support.

Joshua🖤 sent a message

Joshua🖤: mamas I miss you so fucking bad

Miyori cherished this aspect of him, where he was vulnerable and pleading for her affection, just as she desired. It allowed her to take charge, showcasing her strength and authority, making it clear that she was the treasure he sought, one he needed to work hard to deserve.

iMessage 💬 Mimi💓: I miss you too big papaJoshua🖤: you keep playing games with me Mimi ion like that shiMimi💓: aw is someone getting sexual frustrated with me?🤭 Joshua🖤: YES I am and you keep fucking playin MimiMimi💓: I told you, you have to keep working hard for this and for us to be together again and I think you're doing a good jobJoshua🖤: so what that mean?Mimi💓: that means you get a surprise for working so hard PapaJoshua🖤: just wait Ouu just fucking wait until I have my hands on you baby girlMimi💓: what'chu gonna do to me Papa?Joshua🖤: it's better to show you than tell you and no fucking runnin' you hear me?Mimi💓: mhm sure doJoshua🖤: send me some pictures please Mimi💓:

Joshua🖤 heart both attachmentsJoshua🖤: fuck you're so fucking pretty MaMimi💓: pretty for youJoshua🖤: mhm...Mimi💓: I gotta get back to work papa I'll text you later?Joshua🖤: aight then mamas I love you ❤️ Mimi💓: I love you too papa

Miyori smiled warmly as she heard a knock on the door, and she looked up to see Kelly peeking her head in once more. She gestured for her to come into the office.

"What's up Kelly?" She asked.

"You have a visitor, and he seems a bit angry?" Kelly said.

 "Did you get a name for this person?" Kelly nodded and informed Miyori that it was Aaron who was coming to see her, prompting a deep sigh and an eye roll from Miyori.

"Just bring him in here so I can get this over with." Kelly nodded in agreement as she followed the instructions, gently closing the door behind her. She couldn't help but wonder what he, of all people who had come to visit her, could possibly want after the stunt he pulled.

Was he feeling hurt because she was rekindling her relationship with Jey after he had put in so much effort to win her heart again, or was it simply jealousy that fueled his emotions? When she heard the door creak open, there he was, standing tall, his face set in a serious expression.

Was he feeling hurt because she was rekindling her relationship with Jey after he had put in so much effort to win her heart again, or was it simply jealousy that fueled his emotions? When she heard the door creak open, there he was, standing tall, his face set in a serious expression.

"Are you fucking kidding me Mimi? You're getting back together with him?" Aaron looked at her, curiosity evident in his eyes, as she stood with her arms crossed.

"Yeah, and what about it? Why does it concern you so much about who am I with? Does Normani know that you're here?" Miyori firmly held her position, expressing that she simply couldn't afford to waste any more time on this.

"What's the purpose for this? He can't be better than me ." She was in disbelief at the words coming out of his mouth; could he really be serious? "Aaron, please, Jey is much more better than you despite what he did we have history together that chemistry that you and I didn't have."

Aaron laughed softly as he walked back and forth, putting on a brave face while hiding his true feelings. Deep down, he felt a pang of jealousy that he was reluctant to acknowledge. It bothered him to see Jey effortlessly win her over, treating her to nice things and taking her out on dates, all the little moments he couldn't help but notice on social media.

She radiated a light he had never witnessed in her before, all thanks to Jey, who brought her joy and made her feel cherished. That was all she had ever desired, but if it wasn't with him, it simply wouldn't do for her.

"If you're done, you can leave I got clients coming in soon." She spoke breaking the silence between them.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me that you don't love that nigga Mimi tell me..." He exclaimed, clutching her arm firmly, which made her wince in pain. "Tell me that you don't love him after everything he has done to you." He gazed at her, his deep-set eyes seeming to penetrate her very essence.

Miyori was fully aware of her deep love for Jey; she just wanted him to put in the effort to earn it. In contrast, her feelings for Aaron were nonexistent, especially after he betrayed her trust by cheating and expressing his boredom with her. As she gazed into his eyes, she leaned in closer, determined to confront him.

"I love him Aaron, whether you like it or not I don't care, and weren't you the same nigga that said that he was bored of me? And my sex game was horrible?" She retorted.

"Yeah, I did and it's true." It caused her to chuckle darkly at him. "Then what the fuck are you pressing me for then? Sounds like you're jealous Aaron." She was correct; he felt a pang of jealousy seeing how well that other guy, someone from her past, was treating her. It truly affected him deeply.

The atmosphere in the room became tense as they locked eyes, each lost in their thoughts without uttering a single word. Miyori sighed and rolled her eyes, glancing at her Apple Watch to check the time.

"You can leave my office now." She pulled her arm free from his grasp and moved past him to return her clients' files to the folder. Suddenly, he grabbed her hair and pressed his lips against hers. The unexpectedness of the moment took her by surprise, but she quickly reacted, pushing him away and slapping his face in the process.

Leaving him stunned as she glared at him.

"The fuck is your problem! You know what get out! Get the fuck out!" Miyori shouted while pushing and shoving him out the door.

As security entered the room, they quickly apprehended the officer, who was struggling to resist. In the chaos, he managed to strike one of the security personnel, causing her to stumble and fall to the ground. Meanwhile, Aaron was being escorted out of the office, his voice echoing as he yelled and shouted in frustration.

Miyori noticed a warm sensation running down her face and, upon touching her nose, realized it was bleeding. She quickly rose from the ground and made her way to her desk to grab some tissue. As she leaned forward, she caught sight of Kelly entering the room, worry etched on her face.

"Oh my goodness, Miyori are you okay?" Kelly asked coming to her aid.

"Y-yeah, I'm good Kelly, I'm good." She said.

"Do you need a moment before your clients show up today?" Miyori gave a slight nod as she made her way out of the office, heading down the hallway toward the bathroom.

Miyori gazed into the mirror, pulling the bloodied tissue from her nose. Her reflection revealed a chaotic visage, a clear reminder of the turmoil caused by that foolish decision. Deep down, she had anticipated this outcome the moment she ended things with him.

He had always struggled with feelings of possessiveness and jealousy, especially when he learned that she was seeing someone else after their breakup. While he knew he could be intense, Jey's emotions ran even deeper. If he had been aware of what was happening, he would have rushed to her side without a second thought, ready to confront Aaron for treating her poorly.

She wiped her face clean and took several deep breaths, slowly opening her eyes as she reassured herself, "You're alright, Mimi, you're alright." With a sense of calm, she discarded the bloody tissues and stepped out of the bathroom, making her way back to her office.

☞

Jey sat on the tour bus, scrolling through TikTok and chuckling at the funny videos, all the while trying to push thoughts of Miyori from his mind. He missed her deeply, and the ache of her absence was almost unbearable. He found himself hoping that after this Friday, he would finally get to see her again. Lost in his thoughts, he suddenly noticed someone standing in front of him. Looking up, he saw Jaida with her arms crossed, watching him intently.

She grabbed his phone from him, knowing it would upset him, and it definitely stirred him up as she anticipated.

"Yo' what the fuck is yo' problem Jaida? Give me back my shit." Jey snarled.

"No! Because what the fuck is this huh!" She raised her voice while displaying images and text conversations with Miyori, which made him smirk.

"You know what it is Jaida don't play fucking dumb aight? I told you me and her got some history together."  She threw his phone at him while rolling her eyes scoffing in disbelief. "Man what does that bitch have that I don't?"

Jey ran his fingers through the back of his neck, his hands moving to cover his face as disbelief washed over him. He couldn't fathom that he was facing this situation now, especially given how sexually frustrated he had been since leaving. The longing for Miyori's touch was overwhelming; he craved the way she would tug at his hair, pushing him to confront his feelings. He truly missed those moments.

"Watch yo' mouth when you speaking on her, she does a lot for me than you do I mean hell you barely show me any attention so I got my attention somewhere else." He remarked as he reclined on the sofa, his arms extended wide.

As Jimmy and Trinity drove to the next town for their house shows that evening, they observed the situation unfolding around them.

"But you're with me! You cheated on her with me!"

"And I wish I didn't maybe if yo' little homeboys didn't throw you at me we wouldn't be in this situation but here we are right?"

"So what? She's better than me?"

Jey nodded his head while leaning in placing his arms on his knees. "Yeah, Miyori always been better than you Jaida, like I said you don't give a man no time or even like affection from me." He noticed the tears welling up in her eyes, but it didn't seem to matter to him at all. Why should he feel any compassion for her when she was simply reflecting the emotions he was grappling with himself?

"I'm telling you what it is and what it ain't so you won't get no false promises of us being together forever." His words shattered her heart, but to him, it was inconsequential. He couldn't grasp why she was in tears, especially since she had never expressed any affection towards him before.

"So you never loved me?" Jaida asked.

"I did love you but once you started acting differently and showing me less affection I just knew I made the wrong mistake." In that moment, she struck him across the face with a force that made both Jimmy and Trin flinch, as if they were the ones feeling the sting of the blow.

Jey rubbed his face, trying to keep his composure. He never faced this kind of situation when he was with Miyori; they would simply communicate and then share an intimate moment, avoiding all the toxic behaviors. He wasn't one to engage in that kind of drama unless someone really provoked him.

Jaida stormed off to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Jey let out a deep sigh, rubbing his temple in frustration. All he could think was that he needed Miyori at that moment. With that thought in mind, he got up from the sofa and made his way to the bathroom.

"He finna go blow off some stream." Jimmy said as Trinity hit him upside the head.

iMessage 💬 Joshua🖤: mamas?Mimi💓: hm?Joshua🖤: you okay? sounds like you're stressed did something happen?Mimi💓: mhm but idk if I should tell you knowing how you are.Joshua 🖤: what happened?Mimi💓: you promise you won't get mad?Joshua🖤: I can't promise that if it's that bad for you to tell me so what happened Mimi?Mimi💓: Aaron came to my job and we had an argument about you and me being togetherJoshua🖤: he sounds very jealous to meMimi💓: that's what I said but the problem is he got so pissed off about it he...Joshua🖤: what he do Mimi don't hide nun from me you know I'm hereMimi💓: he slapped me in my face causing my nose to bleed but I'm okay I swearJoshua🖤: does his bitch ass wanna get fucked up?Mimi💓: Joshuaaaa you promisedJoshua🖤: I never said that and I don't play about you Mimi💓: I know you don't but I don't want you to go crazy security took him outJoshua🖤: that's don't matter he'll come up there as many times as he want just to put his hands on you and I won't stand for that shit periodMimi💓: don't book a flight down here Joshua please I can protect myself just focus on your house shows please for meJoshua🖤: Baby GirlMimi💓: pleaseeee 🥺 Joshua🖤: aight aight I won't but fuck I miss youMimi💓: you do?Joshua🖤: yess I fucking miss yo' ass I need to blow off some steam mamasMimi💓: lmsJoshua🖤: sends attachment/ look what you're doing to me Ma I need youMimi💓: hm since you've been working so hard for me I'll help you out PapaJoshua🖤: please do mamas please

(MINI SMUT WARNING) - PHONE SEX JEY AND MIYORI

Jey had pulled down his sweats along with his boxers seeing his dick springing up hitting him on his stomach as pre-cum was already spilling out from the tip while he stroked his dick up and down.

Mimi💓: you ready for me Papa?Joshua🖤: fuck yes mamas talk to meMimi💓: stroke it nice and slow for me Papa

He followed her instructions slowly stroking his member up and down feeling a lump inside of his throat as he threw his head back listening to her soft voice through the phone

Mimi💓: you miss this pretty pussy Papa?Joshua🖤: yes I miss that shit mamas...ohh fuck I miss it so badMimi💓: how bad Papa? Tell mama how bad you miss her pussy

The way her voice was through the phone was turning him on so much he couldn't wait to see her again and fucked her senselessly through the mattress.

Joshua🖤: I miss it so fucking bad Mimi...I wanna taste her and be near her..Mimi💓: whatchu going do to me papa? When you come see me?Joshua🖤: Imma beat that pussy up mamas imma beat it up good so you can never forget who it belongs toMimi💓: you know it's your Papa it's been yours stroke that dick faster for me

Jey did what he was told to do stroking his dick in a fast pace manner brushing his thumb against the head of his dick making him lose control over himself.

Joshua🖤: Mamasss keep talkin to me pleaseMimi💓: you like working hard for me huh? Just to get back with me?Joshua🖤: I love it mamas I fucking love it imma keep working hard for you fuckMimi💓: stroke it faster baby c'mon

Speeding up his pace he rolled his eyes in the back of his head clenching his thighs in the process while rubbing against his body with his other hand imagining that it was her doing all of this to him while she was bouncing on his dick or him fucking her silly.

Mimi💓: that dick is mine right? It don't belong to that bitch or anyone else but me right Papa?Joshua🖤: yess this dick is yours Mimi all yours ouuu shit I'm finna nut

Jey felt his dick twitching in his hands as he kept stroking it in a fast manner feeling his body shaking letting his toes curls up.

Mimi💓: you gon' cum for me?Joshua🖤: I'm finna nut Baby girl Ouu I wish it was your pretty ass face I could nut on right nowMimi💓: cum for me Papa cum for mamaJoshua🖤: fuckkk mamas fuckkk

Jey let out a guttural moan escape his lips as ropes of his cum began shooting out ropes after ropes over his hand while he was breathing heavily up and down stroking his dick slowly making sure that all of his nut spilled out from his tip.

Joshua🖤: fuck Ma got me making a mess and shitMimi💓: my bad Papa but do you feel better?Joshua🖤: hell yeah much more betterMimi💓: I hope Jon and Trin didn't hear youJoshua🖤: probably did but ion care I fucking miss youMimi💓: I miss you tooJoshua🖤: if you miss me then why don't you come see me this weekend I'm offMimi💓: un-un see you tryna be slick boyJoshua🖤: ion know what you talkin about mamasMimi💓: you think you slick boy go clean yourself up I'll text you later okay?Joshua🖤: aight then mamas

CALLED END - SMUT OVER

Jey was tidying himself up when he heard a knock at the door, with Jimmy's voice faintly echoing in the background.

"You good in there Uce!" Jimmy shouted.

"Yeah, I'm good dawg I'll be out there in a minute." Jey said.

"A'ight we gonna stop to get some food since Trin said that she was getting hungry." Jey managed to clean his cum off of his body and hands while turning off the sink grabbing his phone in the process while heading out the door seeing his brother standing there.

"What?" Jey questioned him.

"You and Mimi are nasty as hell dawg." He commented on as Jey smacked his lips at him while shoving him away playfully.

☞ Miyori arrived home safely, parking her car in the driveway and turning off the engine. She reached for her purse from the passenger seat, stepped out of the car, and walked toward the front door. As she opened the door, she noticed Jasmine sitting in the living room, watching TV. Their eyes met, and a moment of connection passed between them.

"Heyyy bestie how was work?" Jasmine asked as she seen Miyori placing her purse on the couch.

"Girl, let me fucking tell you who showed up." She said while sitting next to her.

"What happened bestie?" Miyori shared with Jasmine the events that unfolded at work involving her and Aaron. She recounted how he had come to her workplace, visibly upset about her reconciling with Jey. She also mentioned the troubling incident where he had put his hands on her, which left Jasmine feeling furious.

"Girl, what?! Do I gotta whoop his ass? Does Josh know about this?" She asked as she stood up

Miyori urged her to take a seat and calm down. She confided in Jey about the incident with Aaron, still in disbelief that he would resort to slapping her at work just because he had cheated.

"He sounded jealous if you ask me bestie."

"That's what I literally said to him too, like how you gonna get mad at I'm finna be back with my ex-boyfriend you know." Jasmine nodded, fully grasping Miyori's feelings about the situation. While she shared her best friend's disapproval of Jey's betrayal, she also felt uneasy about Aaron due to his possessive nature.

"I understand bestie that's why I'm glad you and Josh are working it out together."

Miyori gave her a warm smile as she settled into the sofa, taking out her phone to browse her social media. As she scrolled, she noticed a few messages from Jey's girlfriend, who seemed to be reaching out to her.

IG messages 💬 jaidaparker_wwe: YOU ARE SUCH A SLUTjaidaparker_wwe: RUIN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM STUPID BITCHjaidaparker_wwe: JUST WAIT UNTIL I SEE YOU ITS UP THERE FRmiyorisworld: you done baby girl? It's not my fault that he wanted me back it's basically your fault for not doing your job as a girlfriend 🤷🏽‍♀️ jaidaparker_wwe: I WAS DOING MY JOBmiyorisworld: if you were he wouldn't be coming back to me now would he? And apparently you didn't do enough for him to want you so I have one up on you yet again sweetheartjaidaparker_wwe: imma beat tf outta you when I catch you little girl you ain't better than memiyorisworld: honey I'm better than you can imagine he know where home is and he's coming right back to it so don't get your hopes up aight? Now please stop playing on my phone.

Miyori decided to silence Jaida's constant messages, which seemed aimed at proving her superiority. She had no interest in engaging with those threats; they didn't affect her at all. Miyori was confident in her position regarding her relationship with Jey.

After her shower, Miyori slipped into her cozy pajamas and nestled into her bed, which still carried the comforting scent of Jey. She hugged her pillow tightly as she opened her laptop to book a flight for the upcoming weekend. With a day off ahead, they were excited to head to Indy for Friday Night Smackdown, so she quickly secured the nearest flight available.

As she completed the ticket purchase, a message from Jey appeared on her screen, bringing a smile to her face.

Joshua🖤 sent a message

Joshua🖤: hey pretty lady

She messaged him back.

iMessage 💬 Mimi💓: Hey handsome wydJoshua🖤: chilling in the hotel room hbu?Mimi💓: booking a flight right nowJoshua🖤: 🤨 where you finna go?Mimi💓: I can't tell you or it'll ruin the surpriseJoshua🖤: what you got planned mamas?Mimi💓: Joshua I can't tell youJoshua🖤: mmcht mane but how's your day beenMimi💓: it's been good expect the fact that your girl keeps harassing meJoshua🖤: bout what?Mimi💓: about us I literally told her what it is and what it ain'tJoshua🖤: don't worry about her she's not important she know the history between usMimi💓: did you have a match ?Joshua🖤: yeah I got the W for tonight thoughMimi💓: perioddd as you should I'm proud of you papaJoshua🖤: thank you baby girl fuck I wish you were here so we could cuddle up with each otherMimi💓: is you and shawty sharing a room together?Joshua🖤: nah we got separated hotel roomsMimi💓: mhm but you've been doing so good working hard for meJoshua🖤: I'll do anything for you baby girl you know thatMimi💓: ofc babyJoshua🖤: but imma let you get some rest got some pictures for me mamas?Mimi💓: no I didn't take any today but I gotchu tmr tho 🫶🏽 Joshua🖤: aight then mamas goodnight 💗 Mimi💓: goodnight 🫶🏽

She set her phone down on the dresser and nestled deeper into the blankets, inhaling the comforting scent he had left during his last visit. Little did he know, she was planning to surprise him soon, recognizing how hard he had been working for her. He truly deserved it.

She gently shut her eyes, allowing herself to drift off into slumber.

IMPERFECT FOR YOU

A/n: Miyori is finally going to see Jey and soothing his nerves after crashing out that miss you sex finna hit differently. You think Jaida is going to beat Miyori up or will Miyori get one up on her?

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below ⬇️

STAY UCEY.

[advantage-artrick]

i probably think about art coming in his pants at least fifty times a day. . . i really wish that was a joke.

it's gotten so bad that one of my favorite pastimes now is making a list of things i just know would have him shooting off before he gets his shorts down.

without further ado, here's a small fraction of what i've thought of so far!

CW: lots of nsfw stuff (mdni). nobody takes their pants off, but there's still some grinding, a little choking, mild degradation, very light d/s, and some other unimportant things. proceed with caution, i suppose.

(this post is entirely art x patrick, but if y'all are at all interested in an x reader or an x tashi part two of this list, i can totally make that happen!

also, if you've got anything to add to this one for a second artrick list, i am just dying to hear your ideas lol 💕)

XOXO

• starting off strong with ✨️dry humping✨️. i feel like this requires no explanation, but i'm going to give one anyway.

when art and patrick make out, it's never planned. or at least, it's not until after the challenger. pre-stanford (and maybe a few times at stanford), if they make out it's because they're drunk, high, exhausted, or just generally not in their right minds.

because of this, it's always messy and desperate and painfully uncoordinated, which is a winding road that- no matter which way they turn- always leads back to filthy, ankles-around-the-waist grinding. grinding that looks a lot like they're trying to fuck each other through their nicest party jeans.

while they have yet to attempt this feat successfully, they aren't ever gonna give up, because they just know that once art manages to last longer than four minutes, there's no telling what they'll be able to accomplish.

but it really isn't art's fault that he shoots off so quickly when they're kissing on his bed. the feeling of having patrick's tongue in his mouth while his impressively large (and very warm) bulge rubs up against his own is just too much for him to handle. and then he starts moaning, and patrick starts grinding harder, and when he folds art fully in half to rut desperately against his ass, the poor kid doesn't even stand a chance.

he always feels so secure being held down and pretend-fucked by his best friend, but still there's so much electricity running through him that it's impossible for him to relax. it's an electricity that just builds and builds, and he can't take it anymore because patrick's dick is right there, but he can't feel it like he wants to. then he imagines what it would actually feel like without their clothes in the way, and in no time, his unexposed cock is spurting messily in his underwear. it goes on for what feels like forever, leaving an obvious wet spot on the denim as payback for all the chafing friction it inflicted upon him.

he whines and gasps into patrick's mouth the whole time, making it impossible for him to not have noticed. and although it's always going to be embarrassing for him, seeing patrick glance down at the stain with a smirk before leaning back in to kiss him even harder will always be more than worth it.

"you do that every fucking time," patrick laughs, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck that makes art shiver and practically melt beneath him. "it's adorable. my favorite part by far."

"shut up. . . this is the last time we're doing this anyway, so i hope you fucking enjoyed it," art slurs, and there's not even a pinch of real frustration in his voice as patrick bites down softly on his collarbone.

art frowns, but he tilts his head to the side anyway to give patrick more room to work. he must be even drunker than he thought to let him keep going when he's already gotten off.

well, to even be doing this in the first place, he already knows he's hammered.

"uhuh, i'm sure," patrick responds, smiling deviously against art's pale, overheated skin. "you know, you say that every time too."

• alright, next up we got ✨️wrestling✨️.

of all of these examples, this is the one that i imagine happens at the most inopportune times. meaning, when they're fully sober and often at the gym or fucking around on the court after practice.

when art and patrick really get into it enough to start tackling each other, it's usually art who provokes it and patrick who initiates.

art likes to make fun of his roommate for being stupid and dirty minded, and for having the most eccentric serve known to mankind. he can get pretty ruthless with his words sometimes, but there are never any hard feelings because patrick knows he loves him.

sometimes patrick retaliates by calling art short (even though he's only got an inch on him) or prudish or nerdy, but that's not nearly as much fun as snatching art's hat off his head. . . or his phone from his hands, or his favorite tennis ball from the air when he tosses it.

it's not even close to as fun, actually, so that's what he does a good majority of the time.

needless to say, art still hasn't quite accepted that he is incapable of stealing anything back once it ends up in patrick's obnoxiously quick hands. because of this, he always gives his all into retrieving it, chasing his best friend around the court and tackling him to the ground when patrick lets him catch up.

within a few seconds, they're a mess of limbs on the ground, hands pushing and pulling anything they can reach in an attempt to pin the other ones' down.

it's never long before whatever patrick stole is discarded and forgotten on the ground beside them. no matter why they started the match, the only true goal once they get going is to not be the first to tap out.

patrick always wins in the end, but never without a struggle, which is why he only wins once art is face down on the ground, groaning with his arms pinned tightly behind his back.

usually patrick sits on him at that point, squeezing his waist with his thighs to keep him from getting up. sometimes he leans down close to his ear and huffs, "take it back, donaldson. i'm not getting up until you take it back."

art whimpers, unsure if it's from the stretch of his muscles or the hard press of his boner against the concrete.

"fuck you," he responds, whining again when patrick twists his arms harder. "fuck, stop it. you win! you win, pat, just stop. please."

but patrick ignores him, laughing at his weak attempts to throw him off.

"nuh-uh, not until you take it back," patrick says again, grinning. "as a matter of fact, i think i want you to apologize. yeah, that sounds more like it. i'll get off when you say you're sorry, and that you love me very much," he mocks, leaning down again to wrap his arm around art's neck in a chokehold while the other holds on tight to his wrists.

art groans again, struggling to take a deep breath from how tight patrick's arm is around his throat. his face feels so hot, and his dick just keeps getting harder, and he almost wants to keep fighting just so he doesn't have to look him in the eyes like this.

"say it," patrick growls, his bicep constricting even more, and art's giving in without even consciously deciding to.

"Fuck, i love you. i love you, i love you so much, please get off," he babbles, and just speaking the words out loud is apparently too much for him in that state.

before patrick can even roll off of his back, he's coming, crying out embarrassingly loudly as he shakes through it. when he comes to about a minute later, patrick's sitting on the ground beside him, just staring.

his face is pink, and his legs are pulled up to his chest so that his crotch is fully hidden from view. he's breathing pretty heavily too, but that could've just been from the exertion of their little tussle.

"you, uh, okay?" he asks quietly after a moment, not sure what exactly he's supposed to do in a situation like this.

art looks back down at the ground, pushing up slightly onto his arms. he doesn't want to stand up, unsure of what the damage would be if he did.

he has hot, humiliated tears in his eyes, and he's so sure that he's just fucked things up between them permanently. i mean, what kind of best friend orgasms because of a little playful choking?

"it's okay, dude. we can. . . we can stay here for a minute," patrick says in response to his silence, cutting through art's anxious thoughts and bringing him back to the present.

slowly, patrick stretches his legs back out, revealing the obscenely tented crotch of his loose tennis shorts.

"i don't really wanna join your walk of shame."

art blushes further, unable to tear his eyes away. it just looks so. . . developed, like he's been hard for a while at this point. art swears for a second there that he even saw it pulsing angrily through the fabric.

"oh. . ." he mumbles, glancing back up at patrick's face uncomfortably. he looks like he wants to ask about it, so patrick tosses an explanation out before he gets the chance to.

"you moan like a girl when you come," he jokes, grinning shyly to test the waters.

"do not!" art whines, finally finding the strength to stand up, and his soaked crotch is right in patrick's face before he remembers where they are and sits back down so fast he hurts his tailbone.

it looks bad. fuck, it looks really, really bad. there's so much it looks like he pissed himself, and they both saw that it had leaked very noticeably onto the court. he'd have to remember to rinse that with his water bottle before they left.

"holy fuck, dude," patrick gasps, trying to forget what he just saw before the image is permanently seared into his brain. "that's. . . wow."

"oh, shut up! this is all your fault, anyway."

patrick just smiles at him warmly, an unreadable expression behind his eyes.

"i know."

• last but not least, we have ✨️massages✨️.

i'm sure it's not uncommon for patrick and art to complain to each other about muscle aches and knots they can't get rid of in their backs. it's just something that comes with tennis being their only hobby and probably future career.

they spend so much time training and practicing, and since they're still so young and reckless, they haven't quite gotten in the habit of stretching like they're supposed to.

because of this, patrick can't seem to pay art a visit without having to watch him wince and hiss every time he moves his arms a certain way. even worse, art always brushes off his concerns like he's not clearly in pain when patrick asks if he's alright. it's insufferable.

"that's it. get your ass on the bed," patrick orders when he's still refusing to admit it the day before patrick has to leave.

it's a ritual at this point. it happens every single visit, at the same exact time, and in the same exact way.

art sighs, not putting up much of a fight since he knows his best friend won't take no for an answer. they've both already got their shirts off, so it would be all too easy for them to get him fixed up anyway.

he sits cross-legged in the center of his mattress, pouting while patrick settles down behind him.

"tell me where it hurts," patrick commands again, ignoring art's petulant frown. "i mean it, art. i know you're too stubborn to get it checked out and i am not leaving until you tell me."

"my shoulder," he mumbles after a moment, gasping when patrick immediately settles his hand right over the muscle that's been bothering him.

"right here, right? yeah, that spot's a bitch to get rid of," he comments, slowly adding more pressure until art is crying out softly in pain.

"oh hush, you baby," patrick mumbles, feeling around the area with his fingers. "i've barely even touched you."

art bites his lip to keep from making any more embarrassing sounds. he inhales sharply when patrick digs into the muscle hard with his thumbs.

gradually, he begins massaging his shoulder just like one of their coaches taught him to, rubbing the knot in tight little circles to loosen it up a bit.

art lasts less than half a minute before he's crying out again, trying to pull away from the prying fingers. patrick holds him in place easily, and art can sense the way he's trying not to laugh.

patrick just scoots in closer to him, pressing his toned stomach against art's back as he continues to work at his tense shoulder.

"you're okay, art. just let me help you, yeah?" he hums in his ear, sweetly condescending like he's talking to a toddler with a scraped knee.

"that's it, you're doing great."

art can sense distantly that he's being made fun of, but the words still make his cheeks flush and his dick hard in a matter of seconds. plus, the feeling of patrick's hot skin against his own is not helping in the slightest.

he whines when patrick hits a particularly sensitive spot, but he doesn't try to get away again. he knows the attempt would be futile. at this point, he's just focused on trying to find ways to keep his torturer from spotting his obvious hard-on.

"is it starting to feel okay?" patrick asks softly, wanting to make sure his treatment is actually working.

oh, if only he knew.

"yeah, fuck," art whimpers, the feeling of patrick's hands on him searing like they're branding his skin. "it's better, i think."

patrick laughs, digging in harder until art is almost writhing in his grasp.

"better isn't good enough, art. you're not getting out of this that easy," he says, and he keeps on going for a painfully long time.

the whole time he works, he's talking, making it impossible for art to get his fucking boner to go down. with the way patrick sits slightly taller than him, art keeps thinking there's no way he hasn't noticed by now. but neither of them dare to mention it.

"you're doing so good. just a little longer," patrick whispers, and art swears he must be doing it on purpose.

at some point the pain turns to relief which turns into pleasure, and all of a sudden he's biting his lip for an entirely different reason.

"yeah, there we go. that's it," patrick grins when art lets a little moan slip out by accident. "i told you i'd take care of you, didn't i?"

art moans again, leaning back into him involuntarily, and patrick takes it as an invitation to let his hands travel elsewhere.

now he's massaging art's other shoulder, and his sides and his lower back, and art's eyes are rolling back in his head because it just feels so good. not even because patrick is a particularly talented masseuse. it's just because he's patrick.

and his hands are so big and warm, and he's still fucking talking, telling art how good he was for him, and all of a sudden art's coming entirely untouched.

and patrick just watches it happen. he watches him whine and shake and he watches his eyelashes flutter uncontrollably, and he doesn't slow his hands down for even a second while art's breathing through the aftershocks.

he just watches, and when it's over he rests his head on art's now healed shoulder and just whispers, "don't worry, baby. thats perfectly normal. happens to the best of us, alright?"

and art just nods robotically, watching it leak from the leg of his boxers in shame.

'it's okay,' he thinks, his brain still fuzzy from the sudden orgasm. 'it's normal. . . it's not cuz' he said i was good. . . it's not.'

okay, that's it! part two, anyone?

XOXO ✨️💕

[deangelis03]

We Need To Talk About Auguste!

Laurent's brother haunts all the narrative of the Capri trilogy and still we know almost close to nothing about him, execpt for all that glorification due to his position as Crown Prince, which puts him on an altar even Laurent has difficulty to take him off of it. Not only because the characters are always comparing the two of them (even Damen, who barely knew Auguste at all), but also because Laurent canonically adores and worships his older brother, putting him even higher (and here my intention is not to discredit Auguste. I'm sure he was hardworking and dedicated, but come on, guys, he was also human.)

Which takes us to the subject I've been very curious to discuss and see the fandom's POV about: The Parentification of Auguste. An inevitable event in almost all older siblings life (and I say this as an older sister who had to help raise her little one.)

Now, we know (or at least we assume to) the basics about Vere's Royal Family dynamics thanks to the hints in each book. From my interpretation (and you can correct me here) Aleron favoured Auguste, which lead us to conclude Hennike was closer to Laurent. We all know "Auguste was the protector and would do anything for his younger brother''. This adoration is mutual to both brothers. Now let's talk about Auguste's early years.

Let's talk about a lonely Prince. One who indeed got his parents attention grewing up, but only briefly and ended up delegated to his nurses as soon as more pressing matters appeared. His parents were King and Queen, after all. There was always something to do; and we know how noble children used to be educated. Let's think about an Auguste who was close to his father yes, but in a King and his Heir way, which to me looks like a professional/academic way. I'm sure they had their moments of course, all families do. But do you think someone truly knew Auguste before Laurent was born? Not Auguste De Vere, the Golden Heir to the Throne, just Auguste? I don't think so. Auguste was a Prince. His life was full of formalities and appearances, he was a symbol. There was always expectations on him. Until Laurent came along.

To me, Laurent's birth gave Auguste something he'd never had before. An equal . Auguste was a Prince. He had every luxury his heart could desire. People adored him. Were ready to die for him if necessary. But Laurent was neither servant or sovereign. For the first time in his life he was in a position that required nothing more than his very true self. He didn't need to be Crown Prince Auguste, to Laurent he was simply Gus. So I think he fell in love the moment his eyes laid on newborn Laurent and never stoped loving him ever since.

Nobody can convince me Auguste, who knew exactly how the experience of growing up alone even thought living in such an attentive place was, would ever let his sweet, dear baby brother go through the same. With Aleron always on a tight schedule being King and Hennike intercalating in between being bedbound due to sickness and doing her Queen duties, I don't doubt Laurent's nurses and tutors answered to Crown Prince Auguste most often than not. I can clearly see him teaching Laurent, telling him stories and listening to his; patiently dealing with tantrums or calming him after a scare. I can see Auguste putting his baby brother to bed (and allowing Laurent to sleep on his bed most nights). I can see an Auguste worried sick as he and Paschal care for a sick little Laurent and Auguste vehemently refusing to leave his side even though he risks getting whatever bug Laurent has or letting him win their secret little games.

For the first 12 years of Laurent's life, there is not a day Auguste is not present. He is there every step of the way. So much that it wouldn't surprise me if a baby Laurent had first called Auguste papa instead of Aleron because in his infant mind he had beautiful yellow hair just like mama so therefore that must be papa .

Laurent was the best gift Auguste ever received and his most prized possession, I'm sure of it.

Laurent did not just lost a brother at that camp in Marlas. He lost his father figure. The only one who cared and loved him without titles and expectations and just for who he truly was.

[midnightshindig]

i love your work! could i request hc’s/drabbles for mark, cecil, and rex (separately) having unrequited feelings for the reader? take care of yourself!! 😊

Cecil, Mark, and Rex x Unrequited!Reader

ooooooo you guys are about that angsty shit

i fw it

hcs under the cut!

Cecil

Cecil is a PROFESSIONAL

he keeps his emotions tight and on LOCK

There isn't enough psychological torture in the world that would get him to admit his feelings for you

except maybe the torture of watching you subtly flirt with him

I mean come on, the way you wear your uniform tie a little loose, the way your stockings always have runs in them, you bring him his coffee with a bright smile reserved for him and nobody else.

The two of you have a rapport, engaging in witty banter during the rare downtime at the GDA

You're intelligent and hilarious with a strong sense of conviction, what's not to love?

And he's so certain you feel the same way

So when he asks you to dinner, like a gentleman, in all the correct ways, and you politely decline?

Oh he's hurt, for sure

but he's a professional. He deals with worse all the time.

So why is he still thinking about it?

Why does it sting when you inevitably start dating Anthony from HR

Why can't he bring himself to just forget about you?

your banter becomes stifled, and Cecil thinks he's losing touch just a little

It culminates when you request to transfer branches

He approves the request, of course

He is a professional, after all.

Mark

He's a dweeeeeeb when he has a crush

Like, he thinks he's so slick

talking to Rex about you while you're only across the GotG gym with headphones in

but you totally know

Still, he doesn't care, because you like him too

I mean, c'mon, he's a total catch, right?

He's literally Invincible, and he's also invincible, what's not to love?

He follows you around like a lost puppy, chatting you up about everything and anything.

"Did you in the 2018 adaptation of Sceance Dog-" Oh my god shut upppppp he's such a dork

but he's nice, and is always down to spot your weights

so you're content to be his friend, and this works for a while

Until Mark asks you to come over for dinner

which is fine! You love having dinner with Debbie and Oliver

but you get there and Debbie is putting Oliver in the car, apparently they're going to get dinner elsewhere? She leaves with a wink and a smile

you go inside to see Mark setting up a candlelit dinner

"Oh! You weren't supposed to be here yet-!" He cries, smacking his forehead

"What... is all this?"

"I was going to ask you out, but... I mean... do you want to go out with me?"

You turn him down as politely as you can, and quickly leave the house

Training at the gym is awkward after that

Mark can take a hint, he's not a jerk or a creep or anything

but the moment can't be undone

Rex

MUCH less subtle than the other two

been flirting with you since day one

and you thought he was JOKING

I mean no way he's sincerely that much of a dick (oh but he was.)

so you'd jokingly flirt back

and Rex was like, hell yeah, pretty little thing wants me back

lets go boys.

but it developes, and he REALLY likes you

like he wants to take you on a date

So with some encouragement from Mark, Rex dusts off a suit from the thrift store, nabs a bouquet of roses from someones garden, and is outside your dorm door

"Oh, hey Rexxx....." You trail off, taking in the scene before you

"Y/n! Hey! Uhm... look... I know it, you know it, let's stop dancing around it and go out already!" he presents you the bouquet, thorny and still wet and half-eaten by caterpillars

You don't even have the words

"I'm sorry.... What gave you the impression...? What?" you're so confused, and trying so hard not to hurt his feelings

but Rex is easily triggered, and his face burns red with embarrassment

He yanks the flowers back and laughs a fake laugh "HA hahahhhh.... You- You thought I was being serious!! Bwaahhaha!!!!" He laughs, holding his stomach cheesily, before straight up running away on foot

He doesn't talk to you for three weeks

and after that it's only short responses and quippy, albeit cutting remarks.

"Heyyyy Rex...." You approached cautiously "A bunch of us are gonna watch a movie, do you want to join?"

"I would, but then you'd get confused and think I was trying to make it a date!" He snapped back, running on the treadmill even faster

It would take some time, and a number of rebounds, but eventually he gets over you and things return to some semblance of normal

[tiger-moran]

Wisteria Lodge part 3 spoilers

Sherlock taking forever to actually explain why he was naked and then the explanation still not really making that much sense (did he really have to take off all of his clothes?) was really funny.

(I feel him about the clothing tags)

Not sure I liked that they kind of forgot Mariana also just witnessed someone (someone who'd been treated horrifically much of her life at that) violently commit suicide. I like that it hit Sherlock pretty hard, it's good to see him be affected like that sometimes but... would it not hit Mariana pretty hard too just for slightly different reasons?

A lot of nod backs to previous episodes like the Sign of Four snippet and Sherlock clicking again as he was when Moriarty was first mentioned and random other details like the spiderweb John ran into and 'M' and all of them seem to relate to Moriarty one way or another. And of course Incy Wincy Spider.

So when it glitched at the end, that song (heavily distorted) was also in the glitchy audio. I like the idea that Moriarty has been effectively spying on them, eavesdropping on them (not only listening to the podcasts), for a long time, and him toying with them by actually interfering in the podcast recordings even. I'm actually loving the way they're setting it all up so far so I'm hoping hoping hoping when it comes down to it they're not just gonna... screw him up. They've got me more invested in this Moriarty thing now than I really wanted to be because I'm still kind of scared in the end they're still going to do something with him (and Moran) I'm going to hate and I'm going to be really gutted about that if that does happen. (Please do not try to make Moriarty an actual "evil overlord" or try to tie almost every crime to him somehow, please.)

I don't know what to think about Baynes and especially John's continued jealousy about him. Canonically Baynes is about the only police inspector to be really brilliant, if I remember rightly, so is that the only reason why he's so smart in this and John's jealousy is just his own insecurities or whatever? It's just, they seemed to make SUCH a big thing about Sherlock's admiration for Baynes and John's jealousy and him calling him the "Bayne of my life" even. So... is that a suggestion that there's a lot more to Baynes than it appears? (I have mixed feelings about such an idea. On the one hand it ties in sort of with an idea that I do really think needs way more exploration but nobody really has explored that idea before but on the other hand... I don't really want Baynes to be anything like that.)

(Eccles's death too. Was there more to that too than just stress and a brain aneurysm? Sherlock did seem to think there was more to it, the way he said 'unwell', I think? I sort of hope there is more to it than that, that could be interesting.)

[strangetomato]

Mental Health Update

I thought I would update on my mental health, since I've done so quite a bit here over the years.

As I mentioned before, its been over 5 years since I've been symptomatic. That's huge. I take an arsenal of medication, and I'm going to keep that just the way it is.

I try to keep up with the lifestyle stuff, too. Sleeping (I think it's the #1 mental health thing), exercising, and eating (not the best at this, but trying). I still attend a peer support group almost every week. My best friend does as well. We met there, and we both attend it like its church to us (for me, it feels that way--sidenote: I was raised in a very religious family, and I'm now thoroughly and extremely "non-religious").

Since my wonderful psychiatrist moved away, I have floundered around. I was referred to one who I will describe as simply "vile" and leave it at that. Her takes on adhd and autism were atrocious, and she was both belittling and beligerent. After that, I kept agitating my family doctor for another referral, perhaps in a neighbouring town. Finally, this worked.

This new psychiatrist was okay. He seemed amused that I was there to see him proactively, without any crisis, but I think that speaks to our struggling mental healthcare system. There was a moment where he mansplained (doctorsplained?) mania and hypomania to me, as if I havent been doing this for 25+ years, but I listened politely. I did like his distinction that the only real difference is that with hypomania you can continue to function. Yeah, I've gone on some wild rides (especially in my 20s), but ultimately I have kept it on the rails.

He also said that bipolar depression is somewhat different from unipolar depression. He said it's a lot worse. And the suicidality is a big part of that. And maybe it's in the contrast. There's something so desperately evil about plunging from euphoria to suicidal all in the span of a day or two, sometimes mere hours. And every time you cycle it gets just a little worse.

Fortunately, once you finally bring the wheel to a stop, your brain starts to right itself, too.

This psych also stated that lithium treats suicidal ideation. Since my wonderful former psychiatrist had brought this to my attention, when nobody else ever did, I feel I can trust this guy, too.

If I need him, that is. I'm being proactive. I need to know I have someone competent on the line if/when I need it.

So that's it. I'm doing well. I'm very much "in recovery" because I know that if I stopped my meds, it would knock me over with how fast it would all come rushing back in. But I'm okay with that.

Anyway, hope you are having a good day. I hope you are taking care of yourself, and if you are struggling, keep fighting. There is always hope.

[blowingglowingdandelions]

Okay I hit the fucking tag limit so I guess I'm putting this in a reblog? I had more to say than I thought. Which no one who knows me in real life will be surprised about.

So, I'm a vegetarian and I was raised to see animals and bugs on the same level as people, more or less, and because of that I have no idea if this take will resonate with anyone but me. But that also makes it very easy for me to explain why the fuck I would never touch this hypothetical product.

Hypothetcially, let's say the human race was going extinct and nobody wanted to have kids ever again. Would it be okay to take a portion of the population and make them or whatever kids they did end up having braindead so they'd never NOT want to have kids and they wouldn't have to feel the pain or other physical affects associated with pregnancy and birth, and then use them as breeders? Still living but braindead. Vegetables, really. They'd never object and they'd never hurt, so wouldn't it be fine then?

But the thought of doing that is horrible and disgusting and no one would ever sign off on it because you know those are supposed to be living, intelligent beings that would feel pain and have opinions otherwise.

It's the same premise here, I feel. My concern, as a vegetarian, is not and has never been about hypothetical souls or anything I can't prove exists. And it's not about never killing anything at all ever again, either. Our society will never be meatless, and unless all the space to keep cattle disappears under urban sprawl, it's never only going to be a lab-grown-meat society, either.

My main concern is the quality of life for all animals before slaughter and not wasting the parts. I mean, they should be free-range, grass-fed, cared for, healthy and happy animals that get to enjoy their lives, however much life they get. And we shouldn't overslaughter, either. Meet the demands of what people are eating and use every possible part of the slaughtered animal that you can, though that part veers more into waste generation in general and the leather argument that's going around, although that comes back to the same answer, for me, too.

What it comes down to, for me as a life-long vegetarian that was raised to see animals as as-good-as people, is this: I am fundamentally against braindead cows because instead of treating animals like beings with autonomy that should be respected, things capable of being happy and scared and in-pain and living, they're being treated as inanimate objects. This suggests that they should be inanimate objects. And listen, we have so many problems with how we treat the Earth and nature already. Eating meat, killing animals, that's not immoral. There is no morality attached to food. That's a natural part of humanity, to hunt. We're omnivores. What's immoral is treating the planet and the animals like they're our playthings. It's immoral to pollute the oceans and to hunt animals to the point of extinction and to keep them in terrible, inhumane, torturous conditions for their entire lives to better serve humanity. Which we're better about now than before, but it still happens. And we kill more than we need to, and and and-

You get it. You know what I'm talking about. And also, as a brief aside, I think it's very, very fucking strange and intentionally pot-stirring to say specifically vegans would be horrified by this idea. I know a lot of people who meat, friends and family and acquaintances, that absolutely love animals. They eat meat, but they still love and are completely respectful of all the animals they come into contact with and they would also be horrified by this idea. Because they know that animals aren't inanimate objects, and that they can be smart and loving and scared and hurt. It's not wrong to eat them because of that, but it is a gross separation from reality to not acknowledge that the meat you eat used to be alive and had a life once.

Here's a deliberately controversial, conversation-starting take on the vegan discourse for you.

Instead of moving human society over to a meat-free model, or mass-industrializing vat growth mean, it could potentially be easier, and certainly more space efficient, to instead genetically modify livestock to be functionally brain dead. You would keep them in racks and tube feed them, a similar arrangement to the factory farm.

I'm sure that there's a neural development gene you could knock out that would leave a given animal unable to have any sort of conscious experience or pain, even in the most abstract sense, leaving you with something that is morally akin to vat meat in the shape of a cow. You could test it in utero with animal foetuses that don't grow to term to avoid ethical concerns in the form of live mutants before the edit is perfected.

Keep a few "pet" populations of each breed to keep the species alive and for more genetic work in the future. That should be just as good as avoiding meat for any vegan, although I would bet my life savings that you'd be hard pressed to find a random vegan who would be anything but horrified by the idea.

[you-wanna-save-the-corn-nuts]

"Tai, you ate her face" Scene Analysis

Requested by @subaerial-dweller !! (50 follower special)

(Bit of a retelling of the scene + character and shot analysis, and how this incorporates into Van's previous + future motifs and arc.)

As the scene opens, the first thing we see is Natalie sitting out in the cold, and Tai leaning on a pole nearby. Natalie is staring dead at Jackie, clearly just...contemplating and processing what the fuck happened. Understandable. Something interesting to note is that at this point, Van isn't outside with them. In fact, it isn't until Tai starts screaming "What happened to Jackie!!" that Van opens the door to the cabin. Unclear on whether she was making her way outside anyways, but either way, it takes her a second to get outside. She immediately runs up to Tai, repeating "its okay, its okay-" which I think is important, because clearly, its not okay. Van most likely would have followed Tai outside but the fact that she didn't? Says a lot, because it means Van couldn't stand to look at Jackie's....remains, until she had to. But as we know with Van and her "medieval knight qualities" (I am never living that phrase down-) she's putting all of that aside because right now, Tai is the most important thing.

Interesting to note, when Van starts talking to Tai, for a second she's just overwhelmed and seems a little....mad almost.

like look at her face, girl is slightly annoyed, maybe a little firm

But she looks back at Tai and suddenly it clicks with her that oh, this isn't Tai freaking out at her. (You could even say this is a reaction to what her mother may have acted like while drunk...and then she realises this isn't like that.) And then there is a noticeable switch to just....concern. Tai is having possibly the only proportionate reaction to the situation, compared to most of the other Yellowjackets who seem incredibly dissociated. And that, to her, is likely weird, both because Van is very emotionally detached from the situation herself, and because nobody else is having that kind of reaction. Tai is genuinely lost with the situation and as we know, Van's reaction to that kind of thing is to start trying to get to the bottom of it. (Something we see a LOT of with other Tai)

Tai then comes back with a very frazzled "I wouldn't do that." which obviously, knowing how everyone reacts to Coach Scott, they seem to take a lot of offense towards. So Van obviously retaliates "What are you talking about? You were sitting right next to me!" which I think is likely a "Hey, Dude. You aren't better than us. Don't be the only disgusted one, you did the same." but also a check-in because again, why would Tai be reacting like this?

Tai goes to throw up, storming past Van, who just stands there. Because again, to her? This probably feels a little like Tai is being high and mighty about this (girl, where are you getting these "morals" from).

So Van ducks down next to Tai, and again, her face says...a lot here.

She's definitely a little baseline annoyed, but also seems to be bargaining. What is going on with Tai? She doesn't know. But again, as she sees Tai's panic, she flicks back over to confusion and concern. She wants to help Tai, of course. Anyone would. But this is also....horribly complicated. Van seems to be very set in her beliefs and while the whole show seems to be a testament to how morals can change, Van is quite firm in what she believes. (Unless, of course, someone she cares about like Tai, comes above it.) This situation is obviously one in which they all compromised their morals, and is a solid "point of no return" for the girls (Travis included).

This is also the point where Van starts to pull the pieces into place. She's realising that this may or may not tie into whatever's been going on with Tai's sleepwalking. But obviously, she wants to confirm that which follows up with her asking "You really don't remember?" which Tai never verbally answers but Van can already tell its written on her face. And then of course, the line of the whole scene comes in "Tai, you ate her face." Van's tone here really interests me because she is not putting it very lightly. There's a little hesitance but a lot of it reads to me as just....when you tell someone something that seems like it should be inherently obvious. She says it almost as if "Tai, look, its snowing." With a little more care in her words but there is definitely a tone of "C'mon, you know this, right?" (tho i kinda suck at reading tones irl so take this with a grain of salt)

I have said this in previous analysis, but to restate it, Van has a character trait of trust. Specifically, lack of trust. She doesn't trust Tai. Something we know is an intentional character trait because Liv has outright said that's how they perceived her and acted to show that in Van's characterisation. So for Van this isn't just, "Tai isn't taking my word for this." its also likely a "Tai doesn't trust me." Van's insecurity of not trusting people very likely manifested from being unable to trust her mother, likely due to her alcoholism. And another thing that basically everyone has said or learnt about trust, is that its a two way street. If Tai can't trust her then...what are the odds she can trust Tai? She loves Tai, and with any relationship you want your partner to trust you. And right now, Tai isn't, something that is likely shattering for Van, considering how much she puts Tai's needs above hers as her priority.

"You ate her face." These words trigger what seems to be the memories of the incident, paired with a flicker of some of the shots. Another interesting thing to note here, none of the parts Tai remembers include anything about the banquet. To the rest of the Yellowjackets, this was fun, almost. A huge meal that they hadn't had in months. But when Tai remembers this? Its nothing but the raw, horrible memories of committing literal fucking cannibalism. So obviously, like any one would upon realising they cannibalised their dead friend and don't remember it, Tai goes to throw up.

It can't really be shown in a photo, but Van doesn't get up immediately. She hangs back for a second, clearly just...processing what the fuck just happened. With the Van mindreading powers I totally have, I can guess tell you, that she's likely going over the situation. Tai's sleepwalking has evolved. She can seem fully awake and alive and just like her own Tai, and she wouldn't even know. How much of what she's seen in the past was this other Tai? Can she trust her? Can she help Tai? Can she save Tai? Van's bargaining with what this means for her, and what it means for them together. Which is definitely something we see tying into how Van acts when she knows other Tai is in control. She wants to help Tai, and make sure she's safe. Because again, she'd likely get possessed in Tai's place if she had the chance. It isn't until a few seconds later that Van gets up, places a hand on Tai's back as she screams, and the scene changes to the intro.

In summary, this scene tells us a lot about Van's character in a short amount of time. And a lot about how the other Yellowjacket's have taken this whole cannibalism deal. For Van, this whole situation ties a lot into both her fear of not being trusted (ironic for someone who refuses to trust herself) and her desire to protect Tai at all costs. Obviously, this changes their relationship significantly. But Tai promised her when they differed on the whole spiritual/psyche standpoint that they were okay. That whatever happened they were going through this, together. Something that was also backed up by the "I love you" scene in 02x01. Van's fully committed to Tai at this point, and for her, this is the beginning of her being set on saving her, no matter the cost for herself.