#and also i just hate the shelves
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Guess what it's my blog and we're going to talk about the Waiting Room now.
In the show, it seems rather boring at first glance. However, this is a LIE because they want to throw you off. There's only one chair, and it has a short leg. There's a weird spirograph-type piece of art on the wall. There's a fish tank, for some reason. There's a bunch of very strange shelves. And there's a giant clock on the wall. THIS IS NOT ALL. The normal entry door is invisible due to the paneling, and the back wall MOVES. It is also possible the clock moves to create loss of time and the floor slants, although these might be stress-induced hallucination. It is a perfectly designed horror liminal space, and, depending on who you put in there and why, I'm fairly certain it can be defined as psychological torture. It evokes the same kind of discomfort and lack of control that a convict being placed in solitary confinement experiences.
HOWEVER
In the books, it is entirely different, and arguably worse. Again, depending on the person. In the books, it is a completely dark room full of slimy black mud that isn't thick enough to stand on. It is also a very deep pit of mud, so anyone who enters for a period of time slowly starts sinking. It also has bugs in it.
Now. If you are not the type of person who is terrified of who you are waiting for, or if you are a person who typically enjoys defying the conventional, the show version shouldn't be much of an issue. The chair doesn't work? Find a way to fix it, or sit on the floor. The room is obviously set up so you have to face whoever is going to enter? Face the other direction. Look at the fish. Sit on the really weird and randomly empty shelves. There are many things that can be done physically about what the room is doing to you mentally. It is also easier for the people who are putting you through this ordeal to rationalize. "It's just an oddly decorated waiting room. There's nothing that bad about waiting"
But the book version is another story. One that I have many questions about. One, we learn later on that the mud is created and maintained by the room being connected to an underground stream. (It takes a long time to swim/dig through the mud and other obstacles to reach the stream, so it is not a viable escape option for anyone but Milligan) It also, as previously mentioned, houses a lot of bugs. We do not know what kind of bugs these are. And yet, since they are alive, they must be living off of something in there. Most bugs cannot just live off of mud. So, either the Executives are having to refresh the bug population from time to time (And where would they get the bugs? Do they collect them? Does Curtain purchase them and have them shipped to the island? Does no one question this?) Or the Waiting Room is its own mainly self-contained ecosystem. My prevailing tentative theory is that it was designed for research/as a science experiment and then either abandoned until Curtain needed somewhere to keep people or he deliberately made the decision that it was part of his interrogation methods for the agents he captured (before he brainswept them) and then he simply extended the use to interrogating students.
BUT ALSO
How did Curtain in the book convince teenagers/young adults to leave children in there? It is an entirely different ballgame to tell someone (especially a younger person who hasn't quite got the morals beaten out of them yet) that it is completely safe and not at all detrimental to leave ELEVEN YEAR OLDS in a pitch-black room of slimy mud and unknown creatures for any period of time! That must have left some damage to the Executives, or maybe they had already experienced it and were afraid to be threatened with it again. Either way, that's such a terrifying thing to anyone, especially a child, and especially since they seemed to choose to leave kids in there overnight (Maybe so it wouldn't interfere with too many classes?) and they wouldn't get any sleep. AND THEN the meaner Executives and Curtain would GASLIGHT THEM. "It's not such a bad place" "Nobody likes to wait, but it didn't hurt you" "Waiting can be unpleasant, but sometimes there's no help for it" and whatever else they said. We don't even hear about the Waiting Room from Sticky or one of the other kids who've been sentenced; they just get extremely upset and start crying.
What I'm saying is, while it was a very clever narrative tool and an unconventional way to raise stakes without causing physical harm to children, I can see why it was toned down for the show. However, I think it is a fascinating bit of plot that can be examined in a lot of different ways.
#also i'm not that scared of bugs#so i'd mostly be upset by the texture of the mud (it sounded so gross) and the anxiety it caused me#i'd still prefer the show version though#i'd just sit next to the fish tank#however those specific type of lights make my insides want to shrivel up and die#so i'd be very unhappy either way#and also i just hate the shelves#they're dumb#i was trying to go back through book one and see if s. q. ever mentions going to the waiting room#but i couldn't find anything#it would be an interesting situation#but i also think curtain probably wouldn't send him because most of his mistakes were from being excessively brainswept#but poor sticky was terrified from the mere mention of the waiting room and also the sole member who would have the hardest time#i think some of it is because he felt like he needed to be “normal” aside from his intelligence#so he never let himself explore out of the box solutions#or do things like sit on the floor to avoid the chair#but i was proud of him for the button idea!#mbs#the mysterious benedict society#no this wasn't brought on by @nobody33333333's latest chapter of “S.O.S” and what kind of science would explain it in-story#shush
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sp panel redraw bc im starved for janerezi content but im lazy as shit rn
#i hate the original scene in the books but. im just gonna ignore it. uh#lighting is fun to do sometimes. yayyyyyy multiply and overlay layers hooray#jane crocker#terezi pyrope#janerezi#roxy lalonde#june egbert#j egbert#john egbert#karkat vantas#vriska serket#art#redraw#scott pilgrim#i cant. anatomy. dies.#also ignore how all the shelves are empty im too lazy to draw a bunch of books
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I know it’s been said but I find it so weird when people demonise Dora. The one interaction that we get with her- the REAL her- in the whole game, she is extremely patient, despite the fact that Harry is calling her in the middle of the night and asking creepo shit like ‘are you sleeping naked’. We can infer through context clues that this has probably happened multiple times before, and yet she still knows no signs of ill-will towards Harry- she just seems tired and concerned.
And it would be completely within her right to be angry at him for harassing her, as well! Knowing how volatile Harry can be, perhaps she even learned through fear not to confront him. And yet, there still seems to be this perception that, out of the both of them, DORA was the abusive one, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary! It’s not even that I don’t think she wasn’t at least slightly abusive, given Harry’s disabilities and their class differences, but what I am saying is that it was likely mutual, and that, out of the two of them, Harry was worse.
Their relationship probably got horrible and toxic towards the end, of that I have no doubt. What I don’t get is why the fandom seems to believe that Harry, as he currently is, is in any way capable of viewing the relationship objectively. There’s ample evidence that he was violent, frequently misogynistic, and that the experience gap between him and Dora was significant, and yet people still take his worst thoughts at face value. That she’s a ‘war criminal’, that’s she’s a goddess- people seem to think Harry’s deification of her is the main issue, and not the opposite; his virulent hatred towards Dora, towards ‘Revacholian women’.
It just boggles me that people are so willing to believe that Harry was the only one truly hurt- that Dora’s decision to leave was made lightly. We don’t know exactly what happened, and what glimpses we do get are filtered horribly through Harry’s grief, but they were in a relationship for more than a decade! They were planning to get married! I don’t think Dora just up and left for Mirova one day- the way the dream conversation goes seems to suggest they hadn’t been together for a while.
There are so, so many things said during the final dream that are probably just Harry’s self-hatred masquerading as Dora/Dolores- and while I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of it did come from Dora, at other points in their relationship, I think it’s pretty obvious that the final dream is meant to be a confused muddle of Harry’s memories and grief. Why else would she appear as Dolores Dei? But, while no one ever explicitly says it, I feel like a lot of people want to believe that the way things are during the last dream is how they were in real life. That Dora really was cold and cruel to Harry- when in real life she appears as just the opposite, despite what he puts her through.
#and I know the answer as to why people do this is misogyny and also that we simply don’t get to know her very well on her own#and trust me I am well aware that Harry was also hurt badly by Dora. I am in no way trying to villainise him here#their relationship is obviously very complex and multifaceted with both sides being wrong at different points which is extremely realistic#that’s why I love it so much. what I don’t understand is why people will shelve these discussions in favour of woobifying harry#and once again I know the answer is just misogyny and that fandom hates complex female characters#ESPECIALLY if they’ve hurt a male character in some way. but the amount of flat surface level takes I’ve seen about these two…#let’s try and do a bit better instead of just boiling shit down to ‘Harry bad’ or ‘Dora bad’ yeah?#harry du bois#dora ingerlund#harrydora#dolores dei#disco elysium#de meta
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Shino raising his dead friends and friend's dog from the dead with the power of bugs as one friend's cousin watches [not clickbait]
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#bugs ment/#this mini arc is fucking wild actually what the fuck is going on#i am VERY definitely past everything ive seen before. both anime and manga.#which means this is all new. and i dont know whats going on hdskhfks#ino holding hands with shikamaru and choji (and making them hold hands) was really cute tho🥺🥺🥺#for circulating their chakra to keep them alive etc etc anyways those are her BOYS!!!!!! shes working so hard to keep them alive!!!!!!!!!#and then shino using his bugs to circulate the chakra of. two guys and a dog.#i love the focus being placed on him rn bc hes so rarely focused on. but also. it *is* kind of funny#i think it's akamaru. the dog. plus the bugs. hes literally just putting bugs on them so they'll move the chakra around#and doing it in the most Raising The Dead pose possible hflshfks god it's so funny#anyways genuinely why is kabuto going to such lengths to kill these four (plus a dog)#like hes got this whole plot hes committed 4 of his pawns to this. just sucking their souls outta their body bc Huh??#like ok shikamaru is a master tactician. i get him. and neji is a powerful jonin.#and choji is very strong Especially in conjunction with ino and shikamaru#that good old ino-shika-cho combo. you know.#then theres kiba and like kiba's strong but like. not all that special in the army??? like sorry kiba not to be mean#but like hes just a chunin. no special combos or insane intellect to set him apart.#he's a front liner. a good one! but ykno. not all that special in the army. sorry kiba.#the true answer for why these 4 (5 with the dog lol) were brought togegher for this#was for reminiscing about their failed sasuke retrieval arc. by the narrative.#but Also they have those same sound ninja 4 theyre up against. maybe those guys wanted to nab them bc of the grudge#and kabuto was just like 'sure yeah it wouldnt hurt to kill the nara and the hyuga'#actually im just now remembering his ninja info cards. freakish data collection on fucking everyone#and now here he is having grave robbed all over the goddamn place and prepped all the bodies with their weapons and what have you#taking the time to send these reanimated bodies towards their prior loved ones to take advantage of the personal turmoil#bro it's a fucking battlefield what??? how are you sending everyone to such specific people like that.#and then anko's just passed out behind him. she hasnt even been to the village since the pain attack. she is getting shelved SO bad#anyways kabuto's a little freak and i continue to hate him. grave robbing shithead.
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I started working on the preprinted canvas that has been intimidating me!
I picked this up last year like awww how cute, pulled it out a few weeks ago and suddenly realized it is much more freeform than I am comfortable with. All I get are outlines D: it doesn't even come with premixed paint. There is a small example finished product on the packaging and a color mixing guide and that's about it. So I've been scared to start.
But! I have learned a trick recently to getting started with painting projects and that is to lay down a base coat! That way you remove the hypothetical (anxiety-inducingly unattainable) perfection without "ruining" it. Because...I know the branches and the pinecones are going to be brown. So I paint them brown. Like I can only do one color and one layer at a time so I have to start with some kind of brown. And then from there it's so much easier to add one more color at a time.
So... that's what I'll do. One color at a time.
#YAY#look I painted shitty pinecones and the world didn't end!!!!!#I plan to do the greenery next then the berries then the bird last#although I should probably break the greenery down and do one type of leaf at a time#GOD starting this has made it seem sooo much easier which has been a consistent theme lmao#and also. like. if I decide I hate it or don't want to do it anymore I can shelve it or just. give up. I'm allowed. it's fine.#2025 is about smashing my anxieties with a hammer. like a peppermint pig.#thats a good analogy actually because maybe I will never be a non anxious person but maybe I can make my anxiety smaller and more manageabl#do I know how highlights and shadows work? no <3
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Nothing makes me want to light all my belongings on fire and walk into the sea like trying to tidy up
#I feel like I’ve been in a constant state of ‘trying to tidy up’ since I moved in here#I hate that I have so many hobbies that require so much storage#it’s not even that much! just a half dozen big bins worth.#but it makes me feel like a huge lumbering inconvenience#also I feel physically shitty and I can’t tell if that’s stress or im getting sick#and if I get sick now of all times I am going to blast myself into outer space#also a bunch of little things are pissing me off#we talked about getting more storage for upstairs months ago#and talked about getting some ikea kallax shelves#and instead aneki got similar shelves off wayfair#except the thing that’s nice about kallax is they’re BIG and also you can use the vertical or horizontal#so now I have inadequate shelves and also idk where to put them so other things are accessible#and I’m not really able to move furniture around#which I fucking HATE by the way#I’m so tired. I’m so tired.
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chuckles and scratches my head ermmm what if im a trans guy only and i’m just gnc …… heh
#from the shelves of costco#why am i!! going through this again sigh#gender sucks balls dude#“i’m a trans guy” “just kidding i’m transmasc but also a girl” “fuck i’m just a trans guy” RHAHJFJSJALDJWKAJ STOPPPPROODSKSJJEJSJS I HATE I#meeble someone pick my gender for me pls
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WE GOTTEM BOYS
#hate my home lcs lowkey. or well thats kind of strong but they reorganized everything sometime recently and its soooo unintuitive#this was on the shelves but i couldnt find it -- which before i also couldnt find 1 and 2 so i had to go behind the counter#but the guy this time got confused and was trying to set up a pull etc but im living at school so it would only be over breaks blah blah#way too complicated a concept for them and my mom was like double parked outside xyz#thankfully the other guy stepped in and just got me one off the shelf which again. horribly organized im so sorry. before they had it split#up by brand and now they dont but the store is segmented weird and their alphabetical is so stupid like AWW is under W not A which i checked#but lowk W is kind of hidden and then they have a whole section of like variants thats kind of in the way??? just its NAWT the move guys#also i just feel like theyre generally kind of unhelpful and i hate how the store is laid out sm#its also RIGHT across from the grocery store and has big windows aimed right at the comics selection like guys plssss i do not need the mom#of someone i knew in middle school witnessing me here rn. be so fr#i just like the other one better bc it makes sense and is in this little basement under the target and theyre super friendly and love#talking. i go to look for smth and we make a whole lil conversation nerding out abt multiple things likee#i read saga bc of them lol#i bought me historica hardcover there and the next time i went i mentioned to them i liked ww and they were all like#“omg you need to read historia its sooo good” like girl I KNOW RIGHT!!! (to the 40yo man)#i mean the one dude there is a total tom king warrior which like oop but hes nice so its okay. let him push some woman of tomorrow i can#handle it lol. anyways like the college one way better but havent been since september bc the AWW drops keep mostly coinciding w my trips#home and all. someday#what was i saying. oh yeah my potatoes are ready bye
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on another note
#4-5ish months i’ve been the main (i’m pretty sure only) person cleaning every weekend#my only days off and through the week clean dishes or load up the washer and pick them up#occasionally someone else w load it but not pick up or vice verse#november i lost all motivation i ask for help i get told they’re tired or they work or later or im met w but i did xyz the other day blah bl#blah blah yk#i tried to clean in nov but i just can’t im tired it’s constant that im cleaning i want to do things not go from work to home for chores to#also cook and then clean up dinner because i also have a job#and when i do something im not like OH well i did xyz! so i won’t do that …no i just say okay because why bring up what i already did things#need to be done why are you arguing with me like we want to bring up receipts? i’ll bring them up#i’m cleaning up clothes that’s not mine i’m cleaning up shit piss ans throw up of a dog that is not mine i walk said dog occasionally#but nope not the other way around why would they do any of that when it’s not theirs ?#i ask them to pick one day to make dinner nope i can’t i’m busy i have xyz …okay i have work gym appts errands too#and since i have cleaned in like a month or over it’s a mess but no one has taken action to fix that it’s just it’s messy in here#that’s why i hate if you need help ask. .#I ASK I DONT GET HELP you ask i help but god forbid i ask#‘but you clean weird’ ‘you do a deep clean’ it’s a regular clean i clean to clean not to light dust and see it be back to how it was in a#day or two. deep clean is i’m up in a ladder cleaning the vents cleaning cabinets shelves i can’t regularly reach or are hard to get to and#honestly that should be a monthly thing#weekly is wipe down appliances. sweep swiffer vacuum and mop the floors. wipe countertops and flat surfaces. flip the chairs around tighten#bolts wash the tablecloth clean the table. vacuum the couches lint roll any cloth surfaces. clean or wipe down the stove/microwave depending#on how dirty. clean bathroom tub toilet sink floors mirror. this is not a deep clean w that you get the fridge and dishwasher windows move t#the furniture to clean under that. i am tired and i dont ever get to finish everything#bathroom stays last and weekends are only so long i also go to the gym or need to go to the store or have ot to do#and ik i brought up here that im depressed but im not bring that up to them because regardless these things need to get done be it a the#worlds slowest pace but does need to happen and i don’t want to use that as an excuse because i will just let myself lay in bed and not show#shower or move does this mentality eat away at me maybe idk but it’s what my parents gave me and it’s not changing i don’t think so here we#are.#we can wait another month and i might be on the up but ill be down again so 🤷♀️#like actually i can use a lot of things as an excuse but that doesn’t help anyone does it ?
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okay but why do people get so goddamn upset when you say that you dislike kids/being around kids???? i'm pretty sure no one is saying that kids should just straight up stop existing, or that kids shouldn't be allowed in any public place ever. when most people say they don't like kids it means that they're sick of hearing screaming for an hour and a half in the local walmart because some kid's parent won't buy them a ps5. they mean they're sick of hearing cocomelon on full blast while waiting in the purgatory that the checkout line. they're sick of nearly running a kid over with a shopping cart because said kid's idea of fun is laying on the floor in the middle of the aisle and their parent can't be bothered to tell them to get up. that's what people mean when they say they dislike kids.
no one (at least, no one i've ever heard of) is trying to physically accost children simply for existing in a public place. no one is trying to argue that children shouldn't exist, or be allowed in public places. i feel like some of you are forgetting that "man im 5 seconds away from killing this [x]" is a figure of speech and not actual homicidal ideation. god motherfuckin damn. get a grip
#scary crane rambles#not fandom#let's get serious#like. im sorry you desperately want to project your trauma onto random kids in the supermarket#but im pretty sure rolling on the floor and trying to climb the shelves aren't exactly Acceptable Supermarket Activities™#also does ''let kids be kids'' also extend to destructive temper tantrums??#if someone's straight up screaming at their kid in public for doing a little spin its one thing (and its also bad btw)#but if your coworker gets fed up with hearing several hours of screaming induced by tfw no ps5 i think its reasonable#also. there are literally places dedicated to kids having fun. are you guys aware of that#and none of them are the supermarket. none of them are the local walmart. hate to say it but its true#please for the love of god learn what a playground is. learn what a park is.#not trying to say you should leave your kids unattended there whenever you go shopping btw#im just saying there are in fact places for kids to have fun that arent the local walmart
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long ass rant in tags. abt to explode
#need to get this off my chest#ok so i straight up lied to my mum. shes been trying to get me a job out of stocking shelves#and i just. cannot find the motivation to do anything. i dont know what i want to do other than rot away#and im also so fucking scared of everything#so she made me apply for an office job that was mostly data entry and writing/editing#which is fine. easy. but i cant think of anything worse than having to sit on my ass doing boring shit for 8 hours#so when they called me. i didnt pick up#i didnt reply to their message. and my mum has been asking about it for the past 2 weeks cus she was convinced that HAD to call me#that i was a perfect candidate. and i was. but i didnt tell her they called me#i just lied and said they didnt. but she emailed them and they..well they told her the truth#and now shes really pissed at me. but hear me out. she forced me to apply. i didnt fucking want to#and ive already said no to so many jobs that i feel terribly guilty abt it so i just went along with it#lying is so easy yknow?#but i guess lying isnt great when they find out#i feel like shit. shes not even acknowledging me and i hate when shes pissed off at me and i know she should be#but cmon. i didnt want the damn job. why cant i just die honestly#ed stfu challenge#vent
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oh god why am i so bad at moving
#just gonna be a long day#might see about extending this uhaul rental#the thought of moving everything in my kitchen is giving me nightmares#especially since i'm moving to a place that the fridge isn't working in#D:#dry microwave food for me for a few days i guess#okay i have all the big stuff in the truck#BUT THE KITCHEN STUFF#why must i like cooking so much *sob*#also never had a pantry so i have a lot of moveable shelves#urgh#those are the worst#that's what messed me up last time#left everything on the selves because they have semi sides#but a glass bottle fell out and broke and the it took me forever to get the reek of teriyaki out of the uhaul#took me at least an hour and a half of just cleaning lmaooooo#am i going to do anything differently this time?#probably not#i hate putting things in boxes just to take them out >.>#okay#i am not going to stack them as tall at least#hopefully that's enough#and put the open sides towards the wall instead of the open middle of the truck#okay time to eat so i can finish step one: packing#and move to step two: unpacking
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everything sucks so hard rn idk
#mischa isnt eating again all while screaming because shes hungry and pulling every single piece of plastic out of my shelves#all my bags straps and backpacks have saliva stains from her#she will jump into shelves and pull out dvds to lick#and there's no other food i can try#my paycheck lacks 500 euro because i was sick and im still 200 euro in the red after getting my paycheck today#and tomorrow is the tooth surgery and ive been trying to call my dentist because he only applied for 2 of 3 teeth#at my insurance#and these 2 will be over 1k already after my insurance will pay their part#at least the sedation isnt as strong as i thought so i can go home by myself and dont have to rely on any unreliable people#after my mom accused me of making mischa have diarrhea on purpose because the food company changed the recipe and i gave her 1 bag#she hasnt talked to me and im definitely not going to be the one to start a conversation with her because im usually better off without her#so its nice that i dont have to ask her for her assistance tomorrow#just gonna do everything alone like usual#also work is so UUUGGGHHHHH and sucks so hard all my coworkers ignore what i say and just go to other people behind my back to do my job#im stress eating so much all my favorite clothes dont fit anymore and i hate looking in the mirror#i wanna go swimming but i just dont have the energy i just wanna curl up and dont have a body#also i have a comic idea written down for several months now and i wanna finish it for mothers day but i feel so discouraged#wehh#im also so stressed i clawed so much at my face its full of bloody spots i look so bad#every morning my neighbors i dont even share a wall with turn on their super broken washingmachine at 7 am#and it sounds so broken and its so loud it sounds like someone is drilling a hole into the wall for 40 -120 ?>#mins#i haven't been able to sleep properly for like a month#when i go into work everyone is just like oof you dont look good#thanks i know
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I'm so excited to move out....
I can't sleep😫
#bruh#i also just realized that I forgot to pack yesterday while I was off#so ill have to pack today#start some laundry#dump my ex's clothes out of my tote#unload dishwasher#pack my clothes#prep stuff for my dad to help me move#KITCHEN TABLE?! FUCK#im definitely moving the cat last to try and avoid issues with her#i need to buy cat food and food bowl#set up the gravity water for my ex's cat (just because you dont like your ex doesn't mean you abuse their pet... I fucking love his cat...*#* She's basically my baby now... seriously I have that cat spoiled lol... If I can work out a living situation where I dont have to move in*#* with my cousin.... Im GONNA adopt another cat. i love cats)#i shouldn't have too much to move since I've downsized... a lot... sold my mini-fridge 😭 made the -easy- decision to leave my furniture*#*(an old power-lift chair that no longer works. some Mainstays shelves and entertainment center - they're almost 10 years old. cost $50 and*#*are made from particle board. they've been moved 3 too many times and they're falling apart) these were hard decisions tbh#im leaving a complete set of Mainstays dishes (cheap. i dont want them. my ex needs dishes. etc)#my mind is awake with all these plans... but I have to work tonight and i need to sleep (luckily I went to bed early)#i need a shower caddy. another (dedicated) dressing gown. a Jeep Wrangler (i hate them but they can tow mid sized campers and like. if I en*#*enjoy living like I will... Maybe I'll just make it my lifestyle) I know well-off people have made unconventional living trendy. but like.*#*Im a poor and it's more viable to live in the camper my parents bought on relatively cheap campgrounds#bro
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people finishing apratments to sell have no taste whatsoever. the amount of ugly ass flat pictures I’ve seen today is highly depressing.
#nothing important#would it kill you to add anything warm to the sterile white plastic broken by fake white/black marble and more black plastic oh my god#peak moment was encountering a mediocre generic b&w NYC Panorama foto wallpaper positioned in the kitchen in between#the counter and the shelves#it just goes so well with your direct view onto the city bus depot and a parking lot#also tiles EVERYWHERE.#I hate it here#give me bare walls working water/electricity grid and nice floors I can take it from there jfc
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hm.
#how do i tell my sister that while i appreciate the thought it is in fact not nicer if she takes the couch occasionally and lets me have my#room sometimes. first of all i HATE disruptions like this it's kind of even more distressing 2 be able 2 sleep in#my own room for one night and then i can't again!!! that sucks net zero!!! second of all She Has My Quilt.... trying very hard 2 be normal#and chill about this and not like it's one of the few things i really really really hate other people using & causes me distress etc.#also like i explicitly said 'hey haha don't do this please' & then she did anyway. which she does!!! i forgot about that!!!#also like man i dont fucking want to sleep on someone's used sheets & blankets that's gross. so im arguably less cosy than i would be. gggh#this all seems like.... very minor and stupid im sure however man im like constantly in a state of middling to severe distress over this#shit. because i in fact also hate people going through my shit or being in my room and also having no privacy however#im very good with suppressing and or masking how much i hate it usually!!!!! but dude she fucking hung her laundry & underclothes#to dry or air on top of my fucking books on my shelves. like. ghghhh hate it hate it cant SAY i hate it because of the everything!!!#ok. sorry. minor pressure cooker escape valve complaining over now im gonna go sleep awkwardly on top of the blankets on my own bed with#some throw blankets. leaving my door open for the beafts if she closes it in the morning bc she thinks she knows what i want ill scream.#txt#neg#this is like private kvetching btw ok i love her dearly it's just unbelievably frustrating.
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