#and also i don't even want to start on packing.......
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fangdokja · 23 hours ago
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Woahhh. Your page is very pretty! Very aesthetically pleasing. That must have taken a lot of energy and effort.
Your writing is also soo mind stimulating. I'm flabbergasted 💕.
Your blog deserves to look as good as your writing—here's how to do it.
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❤︎ Synopsis. Discover quick and easy tips to elevate your Tumblr blog and fic aesthetics with cohesive designs, color coding, and formatting tricks—consider this your warm-up for the ultimate design guide!
♡ Book. Ink & Insight (I&I): From Dead Dove to Daydreams.
♡ Word Count. 2,237
♡ Series. The Aesthetic Tumblr Blog Starter Pack - Part 1
♡ Banner's Story. Trust no one. Not even yourself.
♡ A/N. Actually, it's "casual"; but it's full of tutorials on how to achieve stuff like the picture below (and more), especially when designing your blog and fics. I only called it casual because it's not really formally organized like my usual. I literally typed all of this while I'm in a meeting, haha. Anyways, I'll show you how I design my blog and content.
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designs + gradient texts + banner images like this: I love my Daddy Dom husband.
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OK! START!
Aw, thank you, Anon. That’s the first time someone has commented about the aesthetics on the page. Thank you :)) And, yeahhh. Bro. You have no idea. Of course, the page didn’t always look like that.
I’m also glad you love the writing. I’m curious about which one’s your favorite so far, or what stories you like haha. It’s always interesting to see what content attracts people in general, just plain curious. But no pressure in answering though, just have fun and relax here. That’s all I want for you, Readers. Yes, even if it’s the erotic horror books and stories haha.
Glad to have flabbergasted you. Haha. Now! Story time! Since, I always like to reply as comprehensive as possible to each of your efforts in commenting, reblogging, or even just reading. I’m extremely thankful for the support :))
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Actually, even the older stories in “A Heart Devoured” looked different aesthetically before. I experimented with a lot of things in this blog, even aesthetically.
Force of habit, but when I really enjoy something, I get into it full force. I’m usually lazy and such haha. But I can write like 7+ hours without breaks at all. Yes, even food and sleep. Would not recommend though.
My husband takes care of me usually. When I get “hyper focused”, I really have this mental space to just keep writing (or working in general). As long as I have fun, I can really commit to it whatever time of day. Though… of course, when adrenaline runs out, I get really tired after. But nothing that can’t be fixed.
Anyways. Back to the topic at hand.
Tumblr blog recommendations. If you want to start your own blog in general.
Based on general research and experience (e.g. searching top fanfics or posts), it solidifies that Tumblr really is heavy on visual content. It’s why art and short form, easily consumed, content does better here.
Usually, fanfics not as much. Again. My mindset (and the truth) is that Tumblr is a very VISUAL platform.
So, I made the effort to create pictures, and see in both in the phone and laptop on how it looks. Phone especially, since most users scroll on mobile. Convenient and easily accessible.
Anyways. I guess “business mindset”? I don’t know. Weird.
But, I always look at statistics, especially before. It’s something measurable and to see if there's more I can improve on in general. Aside from the fact people LOVE smut, and anything sex in Tumblr.
Until now, unfortunately, I don't know what post will blow up or not. To be completely honest. It's like sometimes I think this work is shiz (e.g. the recent Yandere! Nerd story), and that's doing extremely well. I'm shocked. Other times, stories that I think would do well didn't do as well in terms of stats.
So, honestly, I don't know how the system works. I'm still learning the ropes as well. Technically I know how it goes about, but on what content actually does well?
Well, even word count sometimes doesn't come into play. The Yandere! Ex-boyfriend story (could also low key because Gojo-like personality? idk)? That had a higher word count than average posts, at 9k words! But that story also did extremely well. That wasn't even a smut fanfic! I've posted drabbles and even 1k-2k (or even average 4k-5k) words stories and works that performed less than that.
In Tumblr, it's recommended to post shorter fics. The average for smut fics for instance is around 5k words, for example.
BUT. For some ODD reason. When it comes to my audience, you supportive Readers, it's like longer fics work better for you all jsfklfsdk. So, that's that...
At first, it would be good to experiment with anything from aesthetics to word count, beyond just your writing style and story content. That's what I did. Anything under the sun that I enjoyed, and by looking at top posts and seeing what they did.
I got a lot of aesthetic ideas from JJK smut fics. I don't read those haha. But my current formatting for fics? Those ideas were adapted from JJK smut fics, like this:
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Do you want to know what's ironic? I don't read smut fics at all, like even back then. I tried it before, but the brain dead stuff wasn't working for me. If I were to read sex, it can't be the main point. Like my current writing style, there has to be plot, usually yandere non-con in general helped. Of course, never encountered a yandere author (or can't find any yet) that actually willingly kills the Reader or MC. It's due to circumstances or stresses at most, but never voluntary. No actual danger. Oh well. Rambled.
See the similarities in aesthetics for my work? It's pretty obvious, yeah? haha
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These are the following similarities:
ALWAYS have a Banner image. Think of this like the cover page of your book, it has to be eye-catching and tell Readers a vibe of what's in the story. The rest of the design and text has to be color-coded with the banner image to create synergy and cohesiveness in design. Symmetry or concepts related to it makes your work appear neat. Yes, you have to consider this to add to your professionalism when presenting to your Readers.
ALWAYS have a Hook Statement. This isn't necessarily your fic's title, it's a single statement usually, concise and meant to incite interest among readers. Think of it like the first 3-5 seconds of a TikTok video or short-form videos. These hooks are meant to capture your interest straight away or you'll just scroll past.
ALWAYS have a Synopsis or summary of your content. This is especially needed for longer works or prose that are in traditional narrative forms. Gives a taste to the readers, so they know what they're getting into or before they commit.
ALWAYS have a Word Count. So your readers know what they're getting into. People are busy and have their own lives, some want to have a quick read of serotonin. Others are in a relaxed state and can afford to read long works. So, don't worry, your works will attract its readers naturally. Just be consistent in writing and posting. That's key. Show up even if you don't want to, if you really are committed to your blog and work.
ALWAYS have Trigger Warnings. As a Dead Dove author, it's a requirement for me to do so, especially for explicit works. It's not a weakness, it's respect to your readers. Also, it will help drive away people who get turned off or triggered by certain works. Don't make your life harder later, just be transparent now, so people don't annoy or send hate mail to you.
ALWAYS have a Divider. This was made by me, like majority of my graphic design works for my fics. This divider is simply to make your work more neat as well, and to VISUALLY show what people are getting into. It can both advertise your name, and also warn Readers if they don't read trigger warnings. Yes, some people don't bother with the details.
ALWAYS have "Ads". Yes, I technically advertise my other works. How? Through connecting the Masterlist link, the book where the work they're reading is located in. If they want to read more, they can read more "here". It's the equivalent of how social media recommends content that you may like. Look at the examples below, it's like that.
In these ASKS, I also link my works when casually chatting. And it works. Why do I ramble and do these Asks? It's not just to create a sense of community, but also to "advertise" my works. Look at this example ask.
The person talked about Paternal Privilege and commented on it, saying how the yandere is like this character from Love and Deepspace. So people who are interested in the game or have not heard about my work yet (like if you're a new reader and haven't read my old works), they can check out my work. See? I linked my work at the end. Yes, in each masterlist, I even "advertise". Can be annoying to others, but it does help spread awareness about my works in general. Every piece of interaction is cherished and crucial in building your audience.
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This is an example of how what usual formatting looks like:
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I also put author notes just for fun. This one isn't really a recommendation, but just for personal preferences. To communicate with readers about my writing processes and other matters or updates. But, again, it's just a personal thing.
Now, how do I make this? CANVA. This is how part of my workspace in Canva looks like:
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Actually, for me, it's still kind of messy. I haven't fixed a lot of things yet for my work since I'm also busy. But this is a general idea.
I've been using Canva for years, even before it blew up. When it first came out, I've been using it already, so I've gotten a lot of practice with it. Though, I do use Canvas Teams; because I also use Canva for work, so a lot of features are available already to help me.
While working on my blog, I never considered myself a graphic designer even before my blog. But, to be honest, I ate my words again. My husband already said before I am also a graphic designer, not just an artist, so.... yeah.... I generally improved a lot more as well because I'm constantly churning out new content. Basically even if I think it's shiz, I still continue, post, work. Same concept with fics. Just keep working, even if you don't see it, with each work (even if it's unfinished), you're improving.
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If you notice, I have 3 different covers for "World Ablaze." I had to repeat the finished product 3 times, because the cover was shiz compared to the others. And these weren't drafts. But, hey, got to use the other covers for my posts.
For Tumblr posts in general, I just pick two sizes and upscale it for higher image quality:
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Wattpad Book Cover
For the divider, it's 1350 x 80 px.
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For my usual formatting in Tumblr banners, I usually go for this formatting. I just use grids on a new project:
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And then choose the 4 picture grids, before looking at Pinterest and getting pictures.
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I ALWAYS add filters, and upscale the image:
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And, for texts, I just pick, usually gothic texts since it's my personal fav. I just substitute already preset design texts usually, just changing the actual text.
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Like if you see "Recently Used", I just press the given text and place my title. Then, I do edit the "text effects" usually; mostly Neon so it pops out the title, since people usually use phones with smaller texts.
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Just with those steps, I'm able to make covers like this:
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♡ Ink & Insight. The writer's essential to fictional writing, no matter what genre you may be in. Though, if you're a dark content writer, then you're in for a treat.
And, for color coding texts. I use these two sites:
The uiGradients is for getting easy color codes to paste the code in the Fiddle. Then just paste the generated HTML code in your Tumblr post.
For the Fiddle, paste the color codes in the corresponding HTML line 3 and 4, where it says "first" and "last".
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I picked a red color from uiGradients:
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Then I paste it here:
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Then, place your text or whatever title you want here:
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Press run, and copy the text generated.
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Then go to your Tumblr Post:
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Change the "Text Editor" into HTML:
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Switch to the HTML tab, then copy your text from the Fiddle:
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It's supposed to be long, and that's fine. It's because of the gradient code required in the text:
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Final Output looks like this:
I love my Daddy Dom husband.
Hope that was an easy tutorial to follow, haha.
Anyways.
Hope this post helps people! Whether you're a writing blog or another kind of blog, I hope these tips will help you! :))
P.S. As I'm writing this, I just realized something. I'm actually in a lecture for Brand Positioning. And, it actually fits well with this topic, haha. Is it obvious I come from business? hahahahah. Also I just realized, I have a lot to say on this topic.... huh.
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elpida · 1 day ago
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cade's hair had reached the point where it was starting to flick and curl, little tufts peppering across his forward and the way he always pushed it back was effortless. "it's a good plan, try n' scope him out a bit? see if his story lines up but, you just... be careful with him alone yeah? i'm never far i just.." a slow breath, a heavy exhale.. thoughts heavy on his mind. "you come irst to me so, don't like the idea of you goin' far with a still stranger or anythin' happening to you. just don't go far with him but if anything, even if you just suspect, shout. you know i'll come runnin'." he reached forward, dared to be a bit soft.. maybe there presence had him feeling that bit more protective but he reached to tuck a fallen strand of hair back behind her ear. "aiyla you are my number one, ride or die me n' you right? that don't change."
elias battled on through the day, he got the jobs done, cade showed him where he and rhea could set up for the night. after that he went through their packs, pulling out the bedding and trying to make up a safe and comfortable corner for rhea to sleep, he'd be fine taking first watch. unbeknownst to him that was also what Cade had done, moved a chair to the window where he could overlook the barn, just incase. "you sleep first, no arguments."
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"there's my lovely wife." elias was smirking, being a big idiot as ever when rhea came in. he'd set up the bed, strung up to solar powered lanterns so it felt a little more homely than desolate and sure, it wasn't ideal but it was a roof, it was safe and secure and he'd done his best to clean their section. "now i know this isn't the ritz, but maybe when they trust us a bit more- as for the smell well, awfully sorry, been lugging around logs." he smiled, stupid and goofy and if she ever realised, it was in admiration of her, always smiling at the brightest thing he had in his life now. "i'll work on the live laugh love sign." he joked, taking a seat beside the makeshift bed of sleeping bags and piled blankets, one spread and neatly arranged underneath them rather than cold hard dirt. farm life suited him. "i'm gonna do my best, you know to make this work? i want this to work for us, i want you to have somewhere to call home rhea." he just... he hoped it was with him.
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rhea tried not to appear surprised when elias slipped his hand into her own once she was close enough. she might have been the one to suggest the game of pretending, but it didn't leave her any less surprised all the same. the woman always had known she'd enjoyed elias' company - it was why they'd stuck together for so long, but there had always been something else festering beneath the surface. some unspoken feeling of want - and now that she was expected to exchange these casual touches or glances of affection with the man, rhea wasn't entirely certain she'd ever be able to stop.
the look she offers him as they part for the day is weighted - and one she tries not to think about ; instead focusing on what aiyla tells her. from the few glances she manages of elias, her day is by far less labor intensive. the tour is relatively brief but peppered with information on what the couple plans to change or fix. it's ambitious, but rhea is certain the extra hands will do some good and tries to boast about either her own or elias' skillset when she can. after the tour, items are removed from a clothes line and then the two women spend most of it working at the gardens, retreating inside for a drink and something to eat. glancing up at the sound of the screen door, lips quirk at the sound of cade's questions. "the yapping grows on you, as you can see," she jokes, flashing her left ring finger briefly. "got a tour and rundown of current or upcoming projects. threw some ideas around which i'm sure you two can talk about."
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"you ought to bring elias some water and some of the leftovers to eat," sending a smile in rhea's direction, she rises from her seat at the table and follows behind cade. "figured as much," aiyla murmurs, falling silent as elias approaches with an armful of logs and offers them both a smile. despite the smile and wave she offers in return, blues eyes scan over him skeptically as he turns to continue the task he's been assigned. "rhea was pretty forthcoming on how they found one another, where they've been and what they've done since the beginning. if he actually talks as much as you say, i could always drag him along with me for chores in the morning. see if everything lines up?" chuckling at his statement, her attention flickers toward the long stack of wood that now takes up a portion of the porch. "i wasn't looking forward to helping you either so, win win i suppose."
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nereidaa · 9 months ago
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i'm leaving for the trip today 😭
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torra-and-the-toons · 10 months ago
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Some notes on Nigel from my modern adult AU, where all their adventures were just them playing pretend as kids and now they're grown up.
I always liked the cancer theory for Nigel, so I went with that. (what can I say, I love angst...) He left because the US healthcare system is a joke.
I made this for outfits, but it kinda just evolved into random notes.
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tumblweeds-omegaverse · 6 months ago
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random omegaverse thought:
There must be people who experience specific instinct things with indifference or boredom.
Procreative cycle coming up? "Crap, I've got plans this weekend...stupid skip weeks."
Caught an intriguing scent while walking? "But I need to get to work! Shut up brain."
Had a snap response to a distressed sound? "Who was it?! ...right, it's my day off, I can go back to sleep."
Somebody growled at them? "Kid, I'm not a rival, that's my sibling."
Super cozy cuddle session happening nearby? "I'm gonna pass tonight guys, no social battery left, maybe next time."
Group of friends heading out to flirt and check out other singles? "I'm coming with you but only to make sure you all get home safe."
Setting where fated mates or soul bonds or permanent marks are a thing? "Meh. I don't really want one or care if I ever get one."
People in the actual omegaverse would get as bored of their stuff, as we do of ours, you know? It could be interesting to see that kind of vibe in fics. Biological demands faced with all the excitement of paying bills or doing laundry or tying your shoes.
Even if that kind of energy might not drive a plot, it could be interesting to have as a contrast to the people who do have big feelings about them - good or bad.
There's the friends who can't wait til they have a pack of their own, and the one friend who isn't against it but couldn't care less. There's the group in the office who are all about scent compatibility tests and figuring out one's best match and what sprays most highlight it, and the coworker who has no intentions on putting that much effort in. There are parents who hover and protect their offspring by scenting them multiple times a day, and others who don't see what the fuss is as long as it's done in the morning.
...also: packs with introverts who show care by giving each other space. So often, closeness is depicted through physical touch and tactile affection, but comfortable silence is meaningful too. Knowing people are near, but not having to interact until you're ready. Sitting in the same room doing different things, knowing that all it takes is a "hey, look at this" to share what you're up to. People understanding and accepting each other's differing or fluctuating needs for how and when to recharge. Seeing somebody reaching out or sharing space, beyond what's their norm, as a signal of the fact that they care.
#omegaverse worldbuilding#a/b/o worldbuilding#a/b/o dynamics#kinda#not gonna tag sfw though it mostly is#heat/rut mention#twovvie chatters#hi its me im introverts#a version of me in omegaverse would love to live in a pack house#as long as i could have a space to myself#people nearby? good! people around all the time? uhhhh#even my family knows that after so many hours of fun family party#i'm gonna disappear to whatever room has the fewest people in it#or find a random corner and start reading#“oh! i didnt know you were here” yes that was the plan#also i just find the idea of someone#who couldnt care less about pairing up#to be funniest in a setting where that's a big deal#“too bad you havent found a mate yet” “no i already know who it is”#“congrats! when do we meet them?” “oh i didnt mean that i'm going to date them. i just know who it is.”#“but i thought you were single?” “yup.” “don't you want a mate?” “nah too annoying.”#cycle day? nice i get a free day off work#cycle day? ugh not this again#the duality of man (a/b/o edition)#granted i hc heats/ruts as heightened libido and greater fertility#because i dislike elements of heats/ruts that (imo) mess with people's ability to freely consent#if the only non-sexual options are pain or solitude and the species needs compaionship as much or more as regular humans#then not being able to or being unwilling to is like a punishment for those people#sure stress or other needs can short circuit it (irl) but theres plenty of reasons to not be interested that arent “you have a problem”#surely i'm not the only person who reacts to various body requests with “later i'm busy” right?
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thevoidcircus · 2 months ago
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If you're not nice to Nyon Specter, we can't be friends, I'm sorry.
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iridescentis · 16 days ago
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i would love to make youtube videos more often but i have no idea what to make like. what do the people want?? there's nothing in particular calling to me
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lee-blogs · 4 months ago
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Still packing stuff and now i'm looking for a box for this.
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My dad and i made it a few years ago for halloween, probably 2015/16 if i'm remembering right. It's made from a lays can, a wipes container from his work, and paper maché. I don't remember what the wires and front metal bits are from, but the middle actually lights up! It has one of those long battery-powered emergancy lights in it and some colored tissue paper
#lee rambles#I gotta fix the metal bits on the front#they keep coming out of place and drooping down. maybe some hot glue'll work since i don't want to melt the styrofoam under the paper#I went as Chell that year#with a shitty handmade Aperature Science shirt lol#Also as a sidenote since i'm already talking a bunch in the tags#I have no idea if we're actually going to be able to afford to move or not#so we're kinda thinking about staying where we are and seeing how things go over the next few years#i know it's in my dad's will to sell but with how expensive rentals are i doubt we'd be able to afford 2k+ a month on top of our other bills#I just hope my Uncle doesn't give us too much shit about it. We didn't get much from the life insurances he had#definitely not enough to live on for long on its own#but 800 a month for the house is a lot more doable than 2000#we don't want to end up having to kill ourselves working just to make ends meet. That's probably what would happen if we moved#i dunno#just... thinking a lot about the future. I honestly hope we stay#It'd get rid of a lot of stress if we stayed. We'd still get rid of a bunch of things but... it'd be easier.#We weren't even really allowed to grieve. once the funeral was over we just had to start packing our lives away.#i'm a little bitter about it really. They've gotten to grieve and be away from the situation. We've had to be there the whole time.#We might've all been there the day he passed but they weren't there for his bad days. They weren't there helplessly watching as he slowly#got more and more tired. and sick. and depressed.#I don't know what we're going to do.#I didn't mean for this to turn all venty. sorry about that if you've read this far
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vigorouslycoy · 1 month ago
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i love saying young man and young lady and ma'am when i'm scolding people. it's like bruh but way cuntier
#and 'sir' isn't on the list cuz any guy that i would scold will get 'young man' from me. even if older than me#and i respect my elders enough to not be inclined to scold someone so significantly older than me that 'young man' would be absurd#as in like retirement age people. if i had beef with someone that age i would not take a scolding tone i would take a polite but firm tone#but anyone between 15 and 60 years old is free game. if i need to reprimand u#all guys get: “young man....!” :/#and girls younger than me get “young lady!” :[#and women older than me get “ma'am.... ma'am..?” 0_o#and it really works! idk maybe i just have a formidable air abt me but#y'all should totally try it! i mean i'm sure this depends on the social role you have and gender presentation & vibes etc#but for me as an adult young[ish] looking super feminine person#saying “young man!” in a firm tone to a guy my age or older works like a riding crop with a horse. he'll go wherever i indicate and i don't#even have to be forceful about it. i hold invisible reins#like i remember a long time ago i was working at a bookstore#and there was strictly a no food policy with clear signs n all#and this one dude about my age sat down in one reading nook with his chinese takeaway meal and started to dine :/#and i walked up to him and hit him with my “young man!?”#and my god the speed of his jumping up and packing away his meal. and the sheepish look. :>#and with women about my age it's tricky -- i have to choose between 'young lady' and 'ma'am' based on two factors:#1) which one would likely flatter her and which one would ruffle her feathers? as in does she seem like a doormat#which means 'ma'am' would make her feel good and 'young lady' would push her poor self esteem buttons#or does she seem confident and regal and vain which means 'young lady' would probably be more flattering cuz it indicates she looks young#whereas 'ma'am' coming from a woman her own age would be like a slap in the face like i'm calling her old.#or does she seem normal self-esteem wise as in neither of the above issues. in which case 'ma'am' would be the norm#and 2) which effect am i looking to have in that particular interaction? do i want her feeling slightly flattered or slightly offended?#and when it comes to people under 15 i would not use these terms or the scolding tone. just like with people over 60.#i would take a polite but firm tone if i had to have words with someone under 15. like. people that age don't need any more scolding#on top of what they might alr get at home or school and whatnot#and also they don't need any more of the gender binary stuff that they prob alr get at home and school.#i might say 'bruh' tho depending on the situation
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glorious-blackout · 2 years ago
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Just back from Arctic Monkeys and....yeeeeah my prediction that seeing them so soon after Muse would put them at a disadvantage turned out to be correct 😂
I will say though that the songs from TBHC and The Car sounded soooo fucking good that I'm honestly offended there weren't more of them in the setlist. I need them to do a theatre tour one day where they play both albums in full...
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babisawyer · 2 years ago
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very brave of the yellowjackets writers to be like 'hey, what if eating your friend was a bad thing?'
#🐇#yellowjackets#I appreciate it though loved the opening scene love the aftermath of last week#I don't understand nat though like rip jackie you might be what helps us survive the winter#like maybe if you had kept some leftovers but you gobbled her up in one sitting#the whole bird thing happened but I doubt nat will make the connection there like lottie surely will#I'd also imagine now that ben can finally eat because of the birds but he might be passively suicidal like jackie was#and we know how that went. he should've quit his job and had indoor heating someone that loves him and gay sex#I still really hate the adult timeline. I love jeff and lottie's stuff is getting interesting but that's about it#I'm kinda wondering if lottie will start the cannibal rituals now after the hive vision at the end#idk I think I'm traumatized from other shows trying to shock people so I need to make theories#and I think maybe with this show the simplest explanation is the answer so I'm trying not to make theories#even though I think antler queen jackie would be so fun like it's probably just lottie#also needs to be said I dislike misty and showtunes even more now the girls should have probably had them for brunch already#and also I'm like convinced that shauna has a personality disorder like I won't say she didn't have feelings for jackie#but like she wanted to be jackie more than she wanted to be with jackie#there are many other reasons but yeah totally sure of it now#anyway I could probably say more but I have to start packing! so goodbye for now!
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cactusdodes · 1 year ago
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#my anxiety is having a flare up#i don't think you really use 'flare ups' in the context of anxiety bc it doesn't work that way really but that's what it feels like for me#lately#like i feel like in general my anxiety has gotten a lot better lately. i still have a slight hum of underlying anxiety but i've been pretty#good at ignoring it and getting over it the last yearish but sometimes it's harder to ignore and gets a lil worse for short periods#esp when it comes to my relationships/interactions with people#bc i have no reason to think that the person i'm seeing 'n' has lost interest in me#but they haven't been texting me as much as they usually do the last few days and my anxiety is picking up and ignoring all the#very logical explanations and very extremely likely reasons#they're moving this weekend and didn't really start packing until last week so i know they're busy with that#ontop of everything else they do and work and everything. i know they're super fucking busy rn#and i was also out of town on a trip and they're def the type of person that was probably thinking they don't want to pester me on my trip#(they wouldn't have been)#and also like. they stopped by my job the night before i left to bring me my contact lenses and they were so smiley and excited to see me#even though it was just for a couple minutes#and they facetimed me right before my friend and i left for our trip just to talk to me for a bit and see my face#and they were again so smiley and really seemed like they liked me#so yeah.. logically i know i'm overthinking it and they're not annoyed with me#i know it's just that they're busy. the few other times they've been a little dry with texting was when they#we're super busy/going through some shit#so like i know that's all it is realistically#but my stupid anxiety and self worth issues always automatically going to 'you annoyed them. you fucked something up. they finally realized#you're not actually cool or hot and hot over you but are too sweet to tell you'#which i know is dumb#it's also not fair to them to assume that#it's not fair to them to think that of them#i just like them so much 🥺 but i do know they like me back#they've told me and they act like it#i just get scared#blake says shit
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the-everqueen · 2 years ago
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i can't gauge if i've become more selfish over the past semester or if i'm finally setting reasonable boundaries. where is the grey space between these options. can i still be good if i'm not sacrificing every spare ounce of energy on other people.
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ebitenpura · 2 years ago
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This isn't the best picture, but it kinda looks like Lana designed this armor for him and unintentionally (or intentionally) made them match, lol.
#swtor#kotfe/et#dude his armor is SO dark i couldn't see him on my screen for the majority of kotfe i thought his model disappeared#INVISIBLE...#i've also been thinking more about his role in this alliance that treats him in an incredibly utilitarian way#and since he's come to accept his role as a tool who just kills lana's enemies and nobody seems to debate that except to disapprove#he starts wandering off more and more#alternating between sleeping inside his quarters and camping outside to purposely make it difficult for people to find him lol#so they can't bother him with trivial tasks or lectures#andronikos laughs at lana and theron being irritated by it like haha. guess he doesn't like you lot after all to which they feel miffed by#but eight *is* a proud creature who can't be reigned in when his heart does not resonate with his keepers#and they decide it might be fair to let him do what he wants as long as he picks up when they call him#he ends up traveling through the rural regions of zakuul and enmeshing himself with the locals as a friendly sellsword#he just solves little problems he comes across sometimes for payment sometimes for free#and they think he's just a mercenary attracted by zakuul and they're like he's so nice...be careful sir the outlander might be out here#don't stay out too late but we'll know you'll protect us :)#they keep giving him shit like their vegetables and even a pack animal cuz he doesn't take money so whenever he comes back#the alliance is like where the fuck did you get these.#also you can't convince me the entire population of a planet is in (1) shitty city or none of them have already left for the wilds#the exiles do not count#esp since there's still remnants of life there im sure not everyone would give up their culture or way of living
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starsong-dragonheart · 2 years ago
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Also! Sometimes folks with autism and/or ADHD do this, too! Even if they have a hard time figuring out what's going on when other people do it! Because learning to communicate in ways that will be understood by those around them, even if they don't "get" it or if it's bad for their mental health, is a form of masking! It sucks SO MUCH for everyone involved!
Source: I'm audhd and live with other people who have autism and/or ADHD, and we all do this at least occasionally, and all of us sometimes have trouble recognizing that we're doing it, and we all struggle to figure out what's expected of us when the others do it. It's fairly common for this kind of thing to get worse when folks are under stress and when we feel (right, wrong, or indifferent) like we're not being heard or listened to.
I can't speak for allistic folks, but for all of my group, unfucking this shit wasn't as simple as "don't do that anymore" or "learn what we/they actually mean when we/they say this." For us, a critical step was working to make asking for clarification less fraught on all sides, because with some forms of "guess" communication, asking if something is a request or just asking about preferences can actually mean anything from "I don't want to/can't, please don't ask me" to "I recognize that you are asking me to do something, but I don't want to, so I want to make sure you know that I'm only going to do this under protest if pushed. Do you really still want to ask me to do that?" Which sucks SO MUCH when you're really just trying to get clarification.
(side note: if allistics get pissed off when you ask for that clarification because this is what they're used to that meaning, it might be worth experimenting with adding something like "I'm not trying to blow you off/be rude/be passive aggressive, I just don't want to answer the wrong question, I know how much that frustrates both of us" - some people are still going to be jerks, but for the ones who actually are trying to communicate with you better, it can be a good de-escalation off-ramp)
Once we got to the point of not worrying that any of us was doing that any more, it got WAY easier to both get clarification when things were unclear, and recognize that if someone has to ask us this, then we'd probably accidentally slipped into "guess" communication - and it's much easier to change a behavior when you actually recognize it happening!
(brain hack: if someone asks for that kind of clarification, it can be super helpful to include in your response a clearer re-wording of your original question, both so that they know they've understood you this time, AND to help re-train your brain so you're more likely to use "ask" instead of "guess" in the future! It can feel ridiculous at first, but it helps.)
Allistic people really need to stop phrasing requests as questions because it's fucking with me
"Do you want to help me cook dinner?"
No, I'm still overwhelmed from earlier and want to stay in my room.
"well fine, dinner will be ready when it's done." And now they're upset with me
And I'm just here like ???????
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mortalityplays · 7 months ago
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talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.
I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.
I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?
This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.
At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.
EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.
Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.
When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.
prezzemolo
I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.
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