#and also i am definitely still battling the depressive episode horrors.

[bright-and-burning]

i feel like my one coworker (who i really like!) has been picking up a lot of slack for me recently but it's like. not actually slack... like, we don't actually have any pressing deadlines? it's just that i fill my downtime w fucking around on my phone, and she fills it w like making up tasks (we just work differently) so she inevitably just like. does things that i was kind of putting off for a moment where i got hit w drive to work (or for when my adhd meds get refilled). so it Feels like ive been really dropping the ball but it's more just that she has been really on it lol. but i still feel bad...

[ryttu3k]

Thoughts on Space Babies and The Devil's Chord, in no particular order:

So we agree that the overarching storyline for this season is stories becoming real, yeah? Starts with invoking folklore at the end of the universe, is solidified with the Toymaker and his rules of play, used heavily in The Church on Ruby Road, and now children's fairytales and musicals? Fascinated to see where this is going!

Generally ridiculously camp and bonkers and you know what, I goddamn missed that. It had whimsy. It had space babies and musical battles! It was fun and ridiculous and just. Felt good, man.

And it also had far-future dystopias and reproductive horror and slow starvation and suffocation and refugees and a timeline of depression and nuclear winter simply to create the universe's biggest aeolian harp so, you know. Doctor Who is back, baby!

Space Babies

Okay the episode was pretty fun and, at times, sweet (they saved the monster!) but oy the CGI/voice acting for the babies was… not great XD;;

Rani reference!

RTD detractors: "Ew, fart jokes with the Slitheen, so immature." RTD, writing an elaborate snot joke that ends with a colossal projectile shart: "Watch this :D"

Okay yes the projectile shart to get the space station moving is one thing, but, uh. How is it going to stop? XD;;

The nanny filter made me giggle each time.

I actually had to go back and check because I was squinting at the readout trying to work out what's weird and somehow failed a spot check and missed the fact that it had started snowing. Good observational skills, self. Anyway, the snow is definitely a Message. (Is it snow? Like I agree that it's connected with the day Ruby was born, but is what's falling in the church scene snow to begin with?)

Do you. Do you think the butterfly can regenerate now.

The Devil's Chord

Oooh, a Pantheon! Love a Pantheon. There's mention of the One Who Waits, speculation on whether 'the Oldest One' was there the day Ruby was born, we already have the Toymaker -> Maestro line, so maybe we'll be getting others? Also, the way Maestro phrased something earlier was fascinating too - "the Lord Temporal who sealed my father in salt". The Lord Temporal. There's been a lot of references to how the Doctor isn't just a Time Lord, maybe they're part of the Pantheon too, as the personification of time? Regeneration and Time Lord society all coming from this base primordial being?

Anyway I goddamn adore Maestro.

I wonder if we'll get Susan at the end of this season? (See: last link of this section!)

July 2024? So that's a good six months of travelling unaccounted for! Big Finish just going 👀

Semi-related but Ruby saying she was born in 2004 gave me a Crisis. Rose was 19 in 2005 and born the same year as me. Yeah okay I am good with that! Martha born in either 1986 or 1984, yep, fine, all checks out. But now there's a companion who was born when I was already an adult how is that legal.

"He ripped my soul in two." Oof.

The sonic actually did something sonic!

"I thought it was non-diegetic!!" I have so many questions. The walls are getting thin. Yeah, especially the fourth! (Random thought: Doctor Who official ARG?)

Lennon-McCartney saves the world! (I still like Harrison's stuff better.)

Apparently Murray Gold had a cameo but I have no idea what he looks like so it went completely over my head lmao

Missed opportunity to play The Devil Went Down To Georgia or The Devil's Trill, although we did get Danse Macabre and Rhapsody in Blue (which I put on as soon as the episode finished)!

Fun fact about Danse Macabre: "The solo violin enters playing the tritone, which was known as the diabolus in musica ("the Devil in music") during the Medieval and Baroque eras, consisting of an A and an E♭—in an example of scordatura tuning, the violinist's E string has actually been tuned down to an E♭ to create the dissonant tritone." (People hated it when it premiered. It made them feel anxious. Which is... kind of appropriate.)

There's always a twist at the end~ (I thought it was little H.Arbringer, but who knows?)

[squadron-of-damned]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

Alright, shameless self-promotion, sanctified by an ask! I am so going to do this! In ascending order of my fond feelings for the fic:

The Night In Gale - Not my personal favourite, but definitely the read favourite, and it'd be a shame not to mention it as such. Supernatural x Good Omens (TV series) crossover. Like many SPNxGO crossovers this one also taps into the "Hey, they are both named Crowley, ain't that fun!" This one, however, brings up soem plot twists, and, dare I to say it, plot! Took me 4 chapters to come up with it. Written with the collective knowledge of 6 episodes of Good Omens (aka the 1st series) and 6 episodes of SPN. Noteworthy tag: Seat Belt Propaganda

Sick of you - Hiveswap AKA Homestuck, hanahaki trope explored through the lends of troll romance. Written around the time when my laptop burned out for the first time, so I had to re-write msot of the second chapter, because I had lost it. Subtextually fun character exploration and how people incorporate into themselves character traits of people they value around them. Blatant Tagora Gorjek apologism. Noteworthy tag: Quadrant Parkour

Between the Clock and a Hard Place - The Great Ace Attorney Chronicels, but they are more used as a setting rather than working with a premise. I wanted to write a horror and working magical system, instead I had, once again, wrote a slapstick comedy. Most notably this fic puts Enoch Drebber into the role of a refusing protagonist and it is due to this fic why I refer to him almost strictly as "Eeny". If I had finished Angelus ex Machina (more magical horror, thus time about failing and/or refusing family expectations), I'd put Angelus ex MAchina here. No noteworthy tag, sadly, I was boring in the tags.

The Original Feeling of Sharing - A self-insert "Modern Girl In Thedas" Dragon Age: Origins playthrough starting with a deviation of the plot: The initial battle at Ostagar doesn't happen. My personal power fantasy. It's funny, it reads quickly, spoiler alert: the main hero dies in the 15th chapter (out of 44). Literally the only fic when I sat down and wrote down a point by point what was going to happen and when, rather than just winging it as I usually do. Noteworthy tag: Graphic Description Of Becoming A Golem

Never is the end - Chances are this is my magnum opus. Could I have written it better? Of course. But could I have come up with something better? No. The Stanley Parable fic inspired by the release of the Ultra Deluxe, because really did the point nto carry across: TSP did everything it could have done inside of itself and could be only repetitive. To bring something new, it'd have to stop being TSP in the first place. But the challenge was: Can I write TSP outside of TSP? Also I started writing this as I began to take medication to treat my depression, so the fic starts helpless and lost and finishes with powerful justified anger, as such was my mental journey. Never is the end was written to inspire you to re-read it at least once. Noteworthy tag: Narrative Horror.

Honourable mention: They Hadn't Met at the End of the World - One of my early works which still stands up to the test of time. This is not a fanfic. A little heart-warming story about four different trolls (who as such share name of their species but not the actual species) who meet in a dying post-apocalyptic urban world and celebrate the end of the year together. Noteworthy tag: Theoretically a crossover

[sweet-evie]

I really felt annoyed on that kallen and lelouch scene where kallen landed on top of him in a sense where both has something to go back after the battle i mean lelouch was asking her to go back with him, I just felt where would c.c. be after the battle, will she be forgotten after it? Will it be like okay c.c. your job here is done you may go and we will go back to our own ordinary lives, will lelouch just let her go if she decided to go....lol and the list go on, (this is me speaking beyond shipping and as a c.c. enthusiast) and if i didn't know that the director is pushing c.c. and lelouch to each other i will forever hate the series cuz c.c. deserves the best (i mean its very obvious with the official arts and scenes and i remember reading something about it before) (can we also assume that c.c. got jealous on that part too lol what would happen if c.c. didn't speak about tabasco will they kiss? lol) I also really have a love hate feeling w/ kallen, she is really a good pilot and i kinda ship him sometimes with suzaku, sometimes not because i love him with euphie, but really that tension whenever they are together fighting or not Idk if its their strong and badass character but they really look good and compatible with each other but then I really love her with Gino the most lol i mean if i find kallen and suzaku compatible then i find kallen and gino most compatible hahaha Its just that kallen can show that she can be weak/soft can be tired or can breakdown (and not the always strong her) with gino. (I hope you can understand this part) I love it when gino picked her up after her battle with suzaku. How I wished gino appeared more in the series, was introduce early and they had scenes more together. I sometimes dislike her cuz she is over reacting in a lot of times like she is just too much and almost in par with nina's reaction most of the times haha (i kinda dislike/hate kxl scenes in a sense too that its one sided like its mostly k and l shows no interest but sometimes it look like there is a mutual feeling between both of them(i mostly felt its one sided shen watching the movie especially the resurrection) (What can you say about their scenes?, when he put jacket to her while she was wearing bunny girl costume, the refrain scene, when she fell on top of him, when she was captured, their kiss? etc.) BUT if you look at c.c. and lelouch relationship and scenes together its just too consistent lol i just love it how lelouch always assured and pursued her from that rooftop scene after battling with Mao, if she is a witch then he'll became a warlock, when he discovered and promised her about fulfilling her true wish, when she asked him if he hated her for giving him the power of geass and about to do something if kallen did not interrupt and bonus: that resurrection scene when he decided to become L.L. (I LOVE WRITING THIS PART OF ASSURANCE AND PURSUING ABT CLUCLU, MY FAVORITE XD, pls add some if i forgot something) i also kinda agreed to that statement except c.c. part lol going around that Shirley -> Lelouch Lamperouge, Kallen -> Zero and C.C. -> Lelouch Vi Britania but doesn't C.C. knows all lelouch's persona and had been supportive and stayed with him from the very start and in whatever path he chose? 😂 I hate it that people come at c.c.'s age and that she witness lelouch grow up like, is her immortality her fault? Like people are okay for male characters of 123456790 age falling for main girls in dramas or some animes for example but not okay if its c.c. lol SORRY THIS POST IS SO LONG it was supposed to be focus only on the first part about THAT scene 🙏

Whoa~ You’re not lying, this is one hell of an ask 🤣😂😅 I read 4 topics in this xD:

Lelouch, Kallen, C.C. scene

Kallen ships (Suzaku or Gino)

Kallen x Lelouch vs C.C. x Lelouch

C.C. & Lelouch's Age-gap

Let’s go in!

Lelouch, Kallen, & C.C. Scene

(can we also assume that c.c. got jealous on that part too lol what would happen if c.c. didn't speak about tabasco will they kiss? lol)

Maybe, but who knows, to be honest. xD The whole interaction was very impulsive, considering the fact that Lelouch was still fresh off of bouncing back from his depression, which Kallen had witnessed and was at the brunt end of.

When Kallen fell on top of Lelouch, I do believe both of them were thinking about that one moment where Lelouch tried to use Kallen to forget his current circumstances. Perhaps part of Kallen wanted it, but knew it wasn’t right. So I adore her for bitch-slapping him. xD The idiot deserved it.

C.C. was just there... I’m not sure if she was jealous or not. Maybe she didn’t give a fuck xD Before I could form my own conclusions, the entire scene is interrupted again because Zero gets called out into the control room.

Kallen Ships (Suzaku vs Gino)

I agree with most of your points in this part.

Personally, in my own fics, I ship Kallen with Gino a lot because for me, Suzaku belongs with Euphemia by default.

But, I do see the chemistry and the sexual tension that could go between Suzaku and Kallen. Like maybe their fights are really just unresolved sexual tension 😂🤣

I imagine a romance between them would be very explosive, passionate, and rough. I don’t just mean this in terms of sex, I imagine their entire dynamic would swing this way too. They’re really opinionated, and they both literally fight for what they believe in, and their conviction is strong enough to rival each other’s. 

Suzaku and Kallen just clash magnificently. On the other hand, Gino’s and Kallen’s personalities probably combine. They have things in common, but not too much to the point of being passionate and aggressive at the same time.

KaLulu vs CLuCLu

What can you say about their scenes?, when he put jacket to her while she was wearing bunny girl costume, the refrain scene, when she fell on top of him, when she was captured, their kiss? etc.

In that scene where he put his jacket on her, I think that’s gentlemanly of Lelouch. It’s something I expect from him considering he was born a prince, and also, he has a little sister. On a sidenote, I adore both him and Suzaku for being respectful towards the women in their circle, for the most part. 

That refrain scene was a moment of grief for Lelouch and he was being erratic. I said it once or twice, I’ll say it again. I am so happy Kallen bitch-slapped him. It shows that she’s not willing to put up with bullshit, and believes that Lelouch is definitely better than that. Kudos to her, she may have slapped him to his senses. For Kallen, it was a moment of, “Please be who we need you to be.”

It was a brilliant turning point for Lelouch as well. After Nunnally was given the role of Viceroy, Lelouch, at least, realized that his war and his rebellion against Britannia wasn’t just for his sister anymore. It was for everyone he cared about too. It was for the people who counted on Zero’s idea of freedom and perhaps peace.

In summary, I made my stance clear on KaLulu on a separate post long ago. But the gist was, they may have felt romantic feelings for each other, but it was probably brief and suppressed in favor of their grander goals and all that shit that was already going down. Romance just wasn’t appropriate for Lelouch or any of the characters who had something at stake in the war.

In the end, Kallen chose Japan, and Lelouch chose Zero Requiem. That is that. 😊

BUT if you look at c.c. and lelouch relationship and scenes together its just too consistent

Lelouch & C.C.’s relationship is a slow-burn from the get-go. It’s part of the reason why it’s so appealing to me.

Let’s be honest, Lelouch doesn’t even view C.C. as human until halfway to R1, and C.C. took almost all of 2 seasons to acknowledge the fact that she cared about Lelouch.

i also kinda agreed to that statement except c.c. part lol going around that Shirley -> Lelouch Lamperouge, Kallen -> Zero and C.C. -> Lelouch Vi Britania 

I understand why a lot of people like this argument. I, for one, believe there’s a grain of truth in it. 

BUT in my own honest opinion, I think that is a little unfair to Kallen and Shirley. I’m sure Lelouch cared about the two of them in unique ways and perhaps chose to hide behind masks around them to protect them and to preserve his own façade. Hell, he lied to his own sister for most of the entire show because he thought it would protect her and would shield her from the horrors of the world. (It didn’t turn out well, did it? 🤣) Still, my point is, Shirley and Kallen would have been willing to understand and know Lelouch’s every mask. Lelouch himself, just didn’t let them. And it was for their own good, I believe.

So why C.C.?

If there’s anyone in the world who can understand people’s multiple points of view, it would probably be C.C... She lived through most of mankind’s history, and she’s been alive long enough to take multiple perspectives in, meet different types of people, and see lots of ridiculous shit xD Lelouch slowly becomes aware of this fact as the series progresses, and we do see him have deep conversations with her from time to time. She’s capable of being objective. She knocks some sense into him a lot, especially during the beginning. One notable example of this that I will never forget is the episode after Lelouch realized Shirley’s father died because of his actions. It showed how immature Lelouch was being and how idealistic -- thinking war only took out the bad guys in his side of the story. Point is, she knows when to chastise him and when to offer her consolation, which is part of the reason why Lelouch would pick her as accomplice anyway.

but doesn't C.C. knows all lelouch's persona and had been supportive and stayed with him from the very start and in whatever path he chose?\

C.C. does know him. But I wouldn’t go so far as to say ‘supportive’, nonetheless wholly supportive.

C.C. had her self-serving reasons, just like Lelouch. C.C. was looking forward to the moment Lelouch could acquire enough power and take her Code from her, so she could die. That’s why she saved his ass a lot in R1 and perhaps at the very beginning of R2. Her wishes and her intentions morph very slowly, and at one point, perhaps even blended together -- half still wanted to die, the other half was slowly empathizing and caring for Lelouch.

But yes, none can deny that she stayed with him from start to finish.

C.C. could have left after Charles & Marianne died, and I don’t think Lelouch would have blamed her if she did -- considering it was obvious that he couldn’t fulfill his end of the contract anymore. But she stayed. She stayed and helped, and kept her promise to stay with him to the very end.

Lelouch & C.C.’s Age Gap

I hate it that people come at c.c.'s age and that she witness lelouch grow up like, is her immortality her fault? Like people are okay for male characters of 123456790 age falling for main girls in dramas or some animes for example but not okay if its c.c. lol

Lelouch & C.C.’s bizarre age-gap is literally not any different from an age-old vampire or any other immortal falling in-love with a human.

I can certainly point out plenty of stories that half this same massive age-gap, and its fans still love it. 

[burnedbyshoto]

Battles

pairing: amajiki tamaki x reader

warnings: tw depression, fluff, cursing

word count: 1,164

a/n: this is for @katsukisprincess, I hope this helps, im not really good at words but I want you to know that you’re not alone. not now not ever, I love you so much sky and will help you at every single step of life if need be. happy holidays.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

depression: (n) 1. feelings of severe despondency and dejection.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

You weren’t sure when it happened, only that when you noticed you wondered how long you’d been like that.

Nothing felt right, it was as if you were suddenly aware that you weren’t in control of your body. It felt as if you were under some puppet act, a mere doll acting out what the people wanted. There was no self-autonomy, only a community need.

They want you to smile, so you smile.

They need you to be a goof, so you’re the clown.

You have to be silent, but kind, strong, yet soft, loud, yet humble.

There were so many different masks needed from you that at this point you had no idea which one was right. Which one was you?

Depression, the silver bullet to your personality, a constant reminder that you would never be ‘normal’ and it always left an acidic taste on your tongue. You also hated the definition of depression, why did it always focus on being sad? It was so much more than sad, sad was the last word you’d ever use to describe it.

It was feeling tired, unfit to do things, no longer in control, and by god did it make you angry. Anger always coursed through your veins whenever you knew you were in another depressive episode. Why were you like this? You were better than this! You knew you shouldn’t be this way because fucking hell things were fine in your life, sure it wasn’t perfect, but not anything close enough for you to want to sleep for a hundred years or just to give up.

So there you lay in bed for the second day in a row.

Your lips were chapped from dehydration, your cheeks felt hallow as you stared at the closed door, you needed to pee but you couldn’t stand up. You couldn’t move.

When was the last time you ate? Slept? Drank water? Used the bathroom? You couldn’t remember any of this anymore, only that you were bitter that you couldn’t get yourself out of bed. You needed to get out of bed, yet whenever you attempted your brain refused to send signals to your joints.

Frustrated tears had stopped flowing days ago and so all you could do is sniffle as you continued to stare at the door.

The door had yet to change within your time here, so when it opened, your heart hammered in worry.

In walked Tamaki, your boyfriend.

“Butterfly?” His voice whispers and you want to respond, you need to respond but your mouth refuses to open. “Are you okay?”

You watch with glassy eyes as he walks over to you, he still is partially dressed in his hero getup. Dirt covers his face as he stares at you in complete worry.

“S-Sorry, you’re obviously not okay, p-please wait here.”

You don’t say anything as you watch your boyfriend scramble from your vision.

Time seems to pass by like an eternity, the apartment is silent and you half guess that Tamaki had run away. You would have if you were him, you were a lost cause after all.

But, you were wrong.

The closed blinds in the room opened partially, the evening rays of the sun shining through the blinds as you blink once.

“I’m going to open the windows, you need some f-fresh air,” Tamaki informs you as the seal on the window pops showing that it opened. Immediately you can smell the stale air of the room as a cool breeze wafts through the window. Your eyes flicker over to Tamaki who holds a tray in his arms. “I brought you some water and some chicken soup. I-I’m assuming you haven’t e-eaten, so we’ll s-start you off with just liquids.”

You do not assist Tamaki as he turns you onto your back, lifting you up so that your back is elevated. You watched him with now dull eyes as he carefully feeds you. Your body at an angle so that the liquids easily travel down your dried throat until the small cup of soup and water is done. 

“You ate and d-drank everything,” Tamaki smiled as he placed everything back onto the tray, “I’m proud o-of you, butterfly.”

It’s then that the glass wall between you and reality is shattered as tears explode in your eyes, and immediately Tamaki’s eyes widen in horror as he automatically assumes it’s his fault.

You sob violently as Tamaki throws the tray onto the ground, his arms immediately pulling you into a hug as he wants you to feel better and to apologize for anything he did wrong.

“What d-d-did I do w-wrong?” Tamaki gasps petrified as you can hear the tears forming in his eyes.

“N-Nothing!” You sobbed as your voice comes out thick and raspy from not being used in how many days. “You’re so fucking perfect f-for me, and I don’t deserve you! I’m sick and a-angry and tired of being depressed and it’s entirely bullshit of me to be f-feeling this way!”

Tamaki’s hold around you loosened as he took in your words, but your sobbing form held onto him like he was your lifeline.

Why were you so pathetic?

“That’s not true,” Tamaki whispers, his voice steely strong yet soft and warm. His arms wrap around you tighter and your sobs muffled as you bite down harshly against your bottom lip. “I only give back what you provide for me… y/n, you’ve given me so much that everything I do is because of you…

I’m sorry about your depression, I am but I don’t know how to help. It’s not a villain I can personally fight, it’s your inner demon. Even then, I’m here for you. I will be here to help you fight the demon every time it comes around. I wish it could be a one and done thing, but no matter if it’s the first or the thousandth time it happens, I’ll b-be here for you. But, my butterfly, even if you don’t want to feel this way, you act like it’s your fault that you’re here like this, and it’s not. Depression isn’t something you choose, but it’s something you overcome, and you’re so strong for being able to fight this every time it comes around… you’re a hero for always managing to move past it, even if you don’t always come out scar-free, by surviving you win… y/n… I love you, and I just am so proud of how resilient you are…”

Your sobs have become a silent cry as your eyes clench, your head presses against his chest as you listen to his erratic heartbeat. 

Tamaki is here for you, you’re here for you.

“I’m s-sorry,” you croak.

“Don’t be,” Tamaki whispers as he presses a wet kiss to your forehead. “Battles are meant to be fought as a team after all, and I will be here with you, every step of the way.”

[davidmann95]

Velvet's battle is a great choice, though I'll always have a special place in my heart for the fight against the Grimm Deathstalker and the Nevermore in Episode 8. That said, what do you think of the individual members of Team RWBY?

I decided to wait on this until I caught up on the series thus far, which I just finished doing the night before last in pretty much the only time in my life I’ve ever really properly binged anything other than comics, and…wow. I knew RWBY was a thing just as a matter of course from being on this site and Youtube, and from watching Death Battle, so I picked up some major beats by osmosis. But my main impression was that it was a charming pseudo-anime online thing of decent quality that unsurprisingly got heavier as it went along as such things tend to do, with extremely rad fights and music along the way; figured it’d be more than serviceable to watch while I was on the treadmill as a disposable distraction from the agony of propelling my wheezing, sweating, loathsome meat-scaffolding forward.

I did *not* expect it to eventually end up after growing pains a - while far from flawless - intensely engrossing story of all-consuming personal and generational pain and people who choose to love and do the right thing in defiance of that trauma and loss and hopelessness, where also occasionally a corgi gets fastball specialed at mechas. Though once it became clear that’s what it is, it pretty clearly sat at an intersection of a hell of a lot of my favorite things, especially when characters copped in-universe in both the main series and spinoff material that this is basically a superhero thing. My initial impressions re: the fights and music were on-point though.

I actually have quite a few thoughts on pretty much all the protagonists of note at this point (other than I suppose Oscar and Maria. Like them both though, and I do hope that nice boy’s brain somehow doesn’t dissolve into the blender of Ozpin’s subconscious), but I’ll just stick with the core four here as requested for now unless someone asks otherwise. Weiss is the simplest to get at the core of, I’d say: her arc is learning that fuck rich people, actually. She’s a seriously difficult character to get onboard for at first - especially if you’re watching those first episodes for the first time in 2019 - as the mean unconsciously racist rich girl who learns to be less mean and racist but still kinda mean. But after you’ve extensively seen the hideously toxic environment she grew up in, and fully understand her efforts to grow past the empty values it inculcated in her in favor of everything she was raised to think of herself as above, she becomes a hell of a figure to root for. Assuming RWBY is gonna go, say, a respectable 10 seasons given it was just renewed through 9, I could easily see the upcoming 7th be the climax of her arc with her return to Atlas and likely further reckoning with the consequences of her families’ actions beyond how they’ve hurt her personally.

Yang is also, in a certain abstract narrative sense, simple, in that she’s built around the very oldest trick in the book for characters whose main deal is ‘can punch better than absolutely anyone’: give them problems that cannot be solved by punching. Except in her case it’s less a material “well, this person is invulnerable to punching!” or “well, actually this other person can punch most best of all” issue blocking her path than “punching cannot solve depression, abandonment issues, questioning whether what she considers her purpose in life is one she’s truly pursuing for noble reasons or if she even has the resolve for it anymore after what’s happened to her, or PTSD”. Yet, while it may not be the kind that manifests in the form of punching people with a smirk and a bad pun anymore (much as she still definitely does that all the time) what ultimately drives her and defines her is still her strength: to move forward, to forgive, to let go, to do the right thing in spite of the risks. Which could easily come off as some unpleasant “you just have to get over your moping!” dismissal - there’s a bit with her dad that means it saddles riiiiight up to the edge of that - but there’s a weight to how her traumas remain a consistent factor in her life and have shaped her outlook even as her circumstances and day-to-day disposition improve that makes it feel thematically like it’s coming from a place of acknowledgment and endurance rather than denial, even if it’s not handled perfectly. Great to see her apparently recapturing some more of her joie de vivre based on the trailer for Volume 7, and how that’ll interact with how she’s grown should be interesting.

Blake is…tough, because you fundamentally cannot talk about Blake without getting into the Faunus, which is maybe the biggest aspect of RWBY that leaves it in the realm of Problematic Fave. It really, really wants to have something substantial to say about the proper response to racism, and every now and then it pumps out a “capitalism greases the wheels of systemic oppression and vice-versa” or “it’s perfectly reasonable for the oppressed to seek to fight back directly against their oppressors, and even the pacifist in the room can recognize that’s a defensible approach that deserves its place”. But then Abusive Boyfriend Magneto literally murders nuance in Vol. 5 episode 2, and it descends into some borderline “but what about black on black violence” respectability politics shit. It’s the classic X-Men setup - this persecuted race of often superpowered folks torn between pacifism and efforts to prove themselves to their oppressors, and those who think they should rise up and annihilate the flatscans - with most of the same pitfalls, but also we haven’t had over 50 years to get used to that just being how it works here, and it doesn’t have the excuse of having to expand as best it can on a metaphor that was originally devised before most of the people currently handling it were born. All of which would be rough enough, but given I watched this right as Jonathan Hickman’s been completely refining the entire X-Men paradigm outside that outdated binary, it especially grates. I’d love to be directed to any solid counterarguments - I’ve heard it might actually be an analogue, and a well-done one, for The Troubles, which I am one million percent unqualified to evaluate - especially since apparently one of the writers grew up in a mixed-race household, and at the end of the day I’m a white guy who may well be talking completely out his ass. But it sure comes off at a glance as some well-intentioned dudes stumbling through stuff that’s not their business, and that’s inextricable from Blake’s character when so much of her story is her navigating through that metaphor. Hopefully with new writers coming onboard this is something that can be navigated more insightfully in the future.

On a purely personal basis however, Blake’s a standout in terms of relatability when her story comes down to a pretty universal shared horror: how to climb back from having fucked up. She tried really hard to do the right thing, was taken advantage of and led into doing things she eventually realized were wrong, was so shaken that she couldn’t tell who to trust, and then the situation spiraled out of control on every possible front just as things finally seemed to be stabilizing. The way a single mistake - enabled and exacerbated by an abusive past relationship in her case - expands into a self-loathing far beyond the bounds of anything she could possibly be responsible for is brutal and completely understandable, and seeing her start put her self-esteem back together with the help of those closest to her and the power of her original convictions is arguably the single strongest, most clearly conveyed individual character arc in the series. I’m very curious where it goes from here: Adam’s finish represents a logical climax and the setup for a happily-ever-after with Yang (or Sun if they end up going that way after all) for her to coast through the remainder of the series on, but the way emotional consequences have played out in the series thus far I doubt her demons are going to be put to bed that simply.

Finally there’s Ruby, and I am contractually obligated to note up front: she is clearly not a Superman analogue. There is precisely zero percent chance that she was conceived as such or was ever deliberately executed in such a way that mirroring him was kept in mind. Though she IS a super-powered idealist raised in the middle of nowhere with a significant deceased parent who wears a red cape, flies, gives inspiring rallying speeches, has black-ish but primary color-tinted hair, and has a mysterious birthright that involves being able to shoot lasers from her eyes, plus she has a dog who also essentially has superpowers, plus she tells someone they’re stronger than they think they are, plus Yang basically quotes a bit from Kingdom Come regarding her in Rest and Resolutions. But it probably goes a ways in explaining why she works so well for me.

There’s more to it than that of course, though it does bring up the closest way in which she relates to the superhero paradigm: she doesn’t go through an arc in quite the same way as the others, instead being an already solidly-defined character who is simply illustrated by how she interacts with the people and situations around her. She learns and grows and matures, but her most basic motivations and goals and outlook haven’t really changed since the day she enrolled at Beacon. She’s a good, caring person, a leader archetype who still has more than enough personality to spare to keep from falling into the genericism that can often plague that role. A big part of the key I believe is that she’s the audience surrogate in a profound way beyond the obvious touchstones of her frequent awkwardness and self-doubt: the reason she does this is because she was inspired by stories. She’s a fan, ultimately, but one who learned all the right lessons, whether recognizing from day one the way reality falls short of the tales she was raised on but still believing in the ideals they represent, or openly holding up Qrow as a role model while being willing to call him on his shit when push comes to shove. It’s a romantic, hopeful perspective that stands out sharply from even our other heroes even as it mirrors their struggles, but as of yet there’s little to suggest it comes from a place of naivete so much as a belief that it’s the only way to bear the pain of the world and continue to believe in it. Bit by bit it’s clear she’s heading for a breaking point, but all signs point to that being a matter of her ability to withstand what she’s been through, rather than any doubt that it’s necessary, and should that time come she’s inspired plenty who’ll be able to help her back onto her feet the way she has for so many others. So while I understand her speeches apparently grate on some, as far as I’m concerned keep them coming, they’re the beating caring heart of the series and often the sole respite in the eye in the storm.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

TV Review: Gotham (Spoilers)

Season 5, Episode 1: Year Zero

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this character analysis the day after the episode airs in the U.S, so if you haven’t seen it here in the U.K. don’t read on until you have.

General Reaction:

Well well, I can honestly say this episode has well and truly gripped the dark tone of the Batman mythos. Yes Season 4B definitely was getting there but with the Jerome/Jeremiah twist it did kind of take away from the overall feel and vibe of the series in replace of what exactly was happening with our resident Clown Prince of Crime, however here we had the atmosphere, the dark characters and that borderline horror vibe that has only ever been shown in the 90s Batman animated series and The Dark Knight.

The episode starts with a flashforward and, for anyone actively following Gotham’s social media campaign throughout December, you will see that when we see what has become of No Man’s Land on Day 391 and throughout December there have been teases for Days 1, 22, 87 and 151 it’s been a very real world dystopian situation. The only downside to a flashforward is, no matter the peril of the characters we see throughout this season now, we know that from Day 87 which is present day for the season and Day 391 that the characters we see in the flashforward remain alive.

The fact we know what is to come from the trailers yet only a handful of these events have barely been teased in this episode is very exciting as a fan of the show and the material. There were some shocks but inevitable shocks and teases that you can tell may not pay off.

Characters:

As always, this is a list of characters in order of my favourites for the episode, I will also do an end-series roundup compiling the entire five seasons with a list in order of my favourites throughout the entire series when this season ends.

Bruce Wayne:

In a shocking turn of events, teenage Bruce Wayne was actually my favourite character in this episode...more shockingly so is Jim was very close behind him. Yes this series for me has always been about the villains for me but, as you can see from my rankings, the villains are actually at the middle section of my list sandwiched in between three heroes either side.

I have really enjoyed David Mazouz becoming Batman in both Season 4 and here, what I love most about it is while he is fully embracing the vigilante nature, he is still learning and making mistakes.

Honestly, one of my favourite moments in the episode is when he was using those night-vision goggles to detain Scarecrow’s men in the clinic’s basement and then the lights came back on and he was blinded because of having the goggles on. It shows he was forward thinking in using the goggles as fans know when he becomes Batman he was have night-vision tech built into his cowl, but will obviously learn from these mistakes.

I am also liking the Bruce-Jim friendship, not only are they consciously building towards the Batman-Gordon alliance we all know from the comics but also it is being done so organically. The searchlight Jim uses, the fact Bruce mysteriously disappears when the action starts, I bet Jim knows Bruce is up to something but doesn’t want to say anything as they need all the allies they can get.

Bruce’s style as well is giving me such Michael Keaton vibes that I can almost see Mazouz’s Bruce Wayne growing up to become Michael Keaton’s Batman.

Also, now that David Mazouz has finally got through puberty and his voice has properly changed, he isn’t as annoying as he was because his voice isn’t cracking. I am very excited to see the final steps Bruce takes 

Jim Gordon:

Ben McKenzie is finally becoming a reputable James Gordon. However, as much as I can see David Mazouz becoming Michael Keaton’s Batman, I still cannot quite see Ben McKenzie becoming Gary Oldman’s Commissioner Gordon. That’s not to say I can’t see Ben McKenzie as a Commissioner Gordon but for me, Gary Oldman was always the best incarnation of the character from The Dark Knight Trilogy.

I really liked seeing Captain Gordon struggle here, he is currently trying to make himself the beacon of hope in No Man’s Land and yet is getting no help from the outside, the only help he received was when Bruce choppered in resources from Wayne Enterprises and even that got shot down. Unclear as to who by at this point but I have my suspicions.

One thing I have always loved about the Batman-Gordon relationship is while Batman is the Dark Knight operating in the shadows, Gordon has always been the face of a hero and an everyday hero at that. Ben McKenzie does portray that rather well, you can tell there is a co-morbidity between Bruce and Jim’s motives in this new world order. They both want to bring a sense of order and justice to Gotham but are going about it in different ways. One tries obeying the law, one takes the law into his own hands. The beauty is as both grow in their personal lives they both learn to rely and adapt on each other’s strengths.

I really liked his confrontation with Scarecrow because, not only did it stir up old feelings which I will talk about when talking about Scarecrow, but it was two-way battle between order and chaos and I loved it.

Also the fact he definitively made an enemy out of Penguin and saved Barbara, both of whom have been intriguing relationships for the character since the show’s first season, proves an interesting development considering on that Day 397 flashforward we see Gordon siding with Penguin and Riddler with Barbara nowhere to be seen.

Selina Kyle:

I have loved this interpretation of Selina Kyle, Camren Bicondova has embodied a teenage Catwoman to such a quality degree that she for me is the teenage version of Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman from Batman Returns. She has the same attitude and the same personality.

We didn’t see a lot of her here but we learned a lot for her character going forward this season. Firstly, she and Alfred never got out of Gotham before the bridges blew so are stuck in the clinic which is part of GCPD territory and a resource hub for medical supplies.

Selina has become paralyzed and while her spine has been saved from shattering it is still the case that she can’t walk and has become understandably depressed by that.

She also blames Bruce for her current situation because Jeremiah would not have gone after her if not for the fact that she was important to Bruce. So while Bruce is constantly at her bedside and Alfred doesn’t seem to leave the clinic, Selina has grown very resentful in those 87 days and I am sure the resentment will grow as the season goes on but in that beautifully twisted way that we know the Batman-Catwoman relationship to be.

I am curious to know who “The Witch” is, if I had to guess I would say Lee because she of course has a doctor background and Hugo Strange did “fix” both her and Riddler. Hopefully we find out in Episode 2.

The Riddler:

Speaking of The Riddler, yes he is one of my favourite DC villains and Corey Michael-Smith has been very hit and miss over the five seasons, but Season 4B and going into Season 5 I am very happy with his performance.

Not only have you got Ed now firmly embracing his Riddler persona as he is questioning why “Idiot Ed” is taking control while he sleeps leading him to wake up in random destitute places, but considering he did not interact with any main characters this episode but rather that one homeless man yet we know on Day 391 he sides with Gordon, Bullock and Penguin to defend Gotham, it poses a lot of questions that I am sure The Riddler himself would be very happy about.

Also I want to know what his relationship with Lee is now like considering the two died Romeo and Juliet style but still did both kill each other. We know Lee is alive from the trailers so I eagerly await this reunion.

Final point is on Ed’s hair, I know Corey Michael Smith has shoulder-length hair and for him to get that rather sophisticated Riddler style he just needs to comb and style it back, we saw this with Jim Carrey’s Ed in Batman Forever, it’s just a great callback and I love it.

Penguin:

Oswald is back in his comfort zone which is a position of power in a fortress. Robin Lord Taylor is best as Penguin when he is playing the Penguin as a power player rather than a whinging little brat.

It was confirmed here that he has taken over City Hall as his zone and is in possession of rather dodgy ammunition. Regardless it gives him the position of power in trades as he has resources the city needs. The problem is the only trading he seems to do is with The Sirens and they don’t exactly like him, particularly Tabitha.

Also the fact that he sends Penn out to do his dirty work, how is Penn still alive? We know Zsasz is in this season so where is he and why isn’t he at Penguin’s right hand?

I always admire the fact Robin Lord Taylor keeps that limp from Season 1, Episode 1 going and yes he apparently does it by putting a stone in his shoe but it never looks goofy or overacted. The fact they temporarily fixed it in this episode I thought was going to be a cop out at first and a behind the scenes choice of Robin’s maybe wanting to walk normally for the season, however when Jim brilliantly shot him in the knee and Penguin had that hilarious tantrum afterwards I thought “Ah yes, order restored���.

I love the fact that Penguin now has a hatred for Jim that isn’t muddled with some weird one-sided friendship, he wants Jim dead. It does create intrigue as to why he seemingly sides with Jim on Day 391 to defend Gotham. I await answers eagerly. 

Scarecrow:

Scarecrow has gone from being a tease in Season 1 to the opening threat at the start of Season 4 to Jerome’s henchman in the back half of Season 4 and now he seems to be his own boss with his own rules.

I love the fact he has an army and seemingly strings his victims up like Scarecrows, his look is eerily similar to the comics and even the 90s animated series. It’s also a more realistic depiction of the Arkham games costume. It just looks so dead on for the character.

While the GCPD, Penguin and Sirens are seemingly more about a defensive strategy, Scarecrow is very much on the offensive, he’s not shy to go out with his minions and reap and pillage. He has his fear toxin, he knows how to swing that scythe and he knows how to strike fear.

As I said with Jim, during their confrontation old wounds were opened not only with Scarecrow’s first main encounter with Jim at the start of Season 4 but also the fact Jim and Harvey were responsible for his dad’s death way back in Season 1.

This episode definitely brought Scarecrow to the forefront of villainy for the series and proved why he will become such a formidable threat for Batman in the future.

Barbara Kean:

I have loved Barbara for the past three seasons, Season 1 I found her very dull and Season 2 she was all over the place but since then and since she embraced her villainy, she has become such a bad-ass and brilliant character.

I really love her style in the promotions, the white trench coat and the pixie cut hairstyle are very striking and suit a female crime boss of her standing. However, her look in this episode was more lesbian club owner and yes that’s essentially what she is but she’s also the leader of a group that runs a turf and owns valuable resources for the city.

The fact she is still willing to trade with Penguin despite that fact that he killed the man who her best friend loved is very telling of the type of businesswoman she is. She knows that the city has gone to hell and also knows her club is not only responsible for the safety of all women that seek sanctuary but also has a monopoly on the food supply for the city. This doesn’t mean she is just going to roll over and show her belly to Penguin’s demands but she knows what she wants and how to get it which I love.

My two negatives with the character are firstly the fact their “turf” is female only as it just seems too feminist of an agenda for me. Also when Penguin kills Tabitha she is understandable distraught by it, however when she proclaims “If it’s the last thing I do, I will kill him!” referring to Penguin...not only do we know that Penguin survives beyond this show but also we do not know what happens to Barbara on Day 391 so surely proclaiming this in the first episode as a vendetta is signing her own death certificate?

I hope not because I really like this character, but at the same time she’s survived this long so there is nowhere really to go from here.

Tabitha Galavan:

My favourite Tabitha moment was during Gordon’s opening monologue sequence when one of the men that The Sirens gracially permitted to be on their turf for a while got a little bit touchy with the women and Tabby put a blade to his throat, you hear the sound of a wildcat over it.

We of course know that Tabitha was brought in to be this canon’s version of Tigress but there hasn’t really been any bite to that aside from her becoming Catwoman’s mentor and she is dubbed “Tabby the Tigress” by Ed when she fights Grundy in the Narrows but there is nothing to say she becomes this supervillain.

Obviously now she won’t be because while she is a main character still, Penguin killed her as he promised he would at the end of last season. Again Penguin is a staple character in the Batman mythos and characters like Tabitha and Barbara, even Fish Mooney, while brilliant, aren’t staples. So when they decide to challenge Penguin with a vendetta you know how it will go.

It is very sad that Tabitha died in episode 1, I maybe wanted her to last longer and see Barbara and Tabitha truly become lovers that way Oswald could kill Tabitha not only to avenge his mother but also hurt Barbara and while yes he has done that, for the first episode it didn’t seem warranted.

Ecco:

Ecco makes a brief cameo in this episode towards the end, surprisingly not in her Mummer outfit which resembles Harley Quinn but in a leather-clad look with just the Mummer mask.

Ecco is Jeremiah’s assistant from before he became insane and after he did, that is when she took up the Mummer mantle. From what we see in the trailers she is destined to become Harley Quinn to Jeremiah’s Joker so the fact she is seemingly spying on the GCPD from the shadows possibly for Jeremiah makes sense.

Also the Joker face calling card is a bit of a giveaway.

Others:

By others I mainly mean Bullock, Lucius and Alfred. While all three gents were brilliant as always, they didn’t have any standout moments themselves outside of their established roles. Bullock is there to prop up Jim, Alfred is there to prop up Bruce and Lucius is propping up both of them assisting the GCPD while also kitting out Bruce’s vigilante attire.

Alfred Pennyworth is getting his own series, unfortunately not portrayed by Sean Pertwee but Jack Bannon who does actually look like a younger version but anyway. Maybe because the butler is getting his own series, we’re having less emphasis on the character here? I hope not because I bloody love Sean Pertwee in this role.

Overall I’d say this episode is a strong 8/10, it set the final season up rather well and promises many exciting things to come.

So that’s my review of Gotham “Year Zero”, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more DC TV Reviews as well as other TV Reviews and posts.

[curiouser-and-curiouser-fics]

Humpty Dumpty (Thorin)

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS!! IF THIS IS A TRIGGER FOR YOU, PLEASE DO NOT READ!!

I am in no way romanticizing suicide/depression or making it 'cool.' It is a serious thing. It's just also a good subject for writing about.

And to all those who struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts/actions, please stop. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and He loves you, as do many other people. If you need help, reach out. There is always someone there for you. I love you!!💙💙💙

The song is As Real As You And Me from the Home soundtrack

Hit play when you see the 🎶

———————————————————

You stood on the overlook, past the ramparts of Erebor, the reclaimed kingdom completely silent. The sun shone brightly in the mid-afternoon, and it warmed you in the chilly air.

Smaug was dead, but he was not the only one who was defeated.

Since day one, you had not been able to truly feel like a part of the company. Even as you fought, talked, ate, slept, and journeyed side by side with the dwarves, Bilbo, and Gandalf, you still felt a thousand miles away. Gandalf had convinced you to tag along and help to reclaim Erebor, since you had nowhere else to go.

You had once been a young abandoned dwarrowdam who trusted everyone. A little too easily. And that quickly taught you a tough life lesson: Not everyone can be trusted. But that quickly turned into: Never trust anyone.

And that was what you'd stuck with.

It wasn't that you thought Thorin Oakenshield and his Company would betray their loyalty, but that they would never accept you as one of them. You felt excluded from all conversations, you always rode or walked in the back of the group, and you always ate alone. You rarely talked to anyone. If you did, it was brief and emotionless.

But on the inside you were dying.

You felt like no one loved you, no one wanted you around, everyone hated you.

You had once again resorted to self-harming to calm your wildly rushing thoughts. Any moment you got to yourself, you quickly pulled out your little pocket dagger and sliced the soft skin on your inner arms before hurriedly binding the wounds and rolling your sleeves down. If you scratched yourself or got cut up a bit in a battle with orcs or goblins, you did not complain. You were secretly thankful for the pain.

Physical pain kept your mind off the emotional pain.

So as you stood there alone behind the stone ramparts, you looked down to the ground below. It was too far to tell how far it was to the bottom, but it was definitely far enough to kill somebody.

For the first time, you considered jumping. You had been thinking about different ways to commit suicide, but you felt like this one would be the least painful. Falling on your sword was too dramatic, and it might take a while for you to perish. Poisoning yourself was too much work, plus you would be in great discomfort for quite a while. Stabbing yourself was too painful as well. Jumping from the overlook seemed like the best choice. You would most likely black out before you reached the bottom.

You clenched your fists and your jaw, a bit of cold sweat breaking out on your forehead at the idea of killing yourself, but you did not want to turn back. You walked closer to the ramparts, your stomach sinking with each step. You neared the stone, and put both hands on the rough surface, beginning to haul yourself onto the ledge.

No going back.

Until you heard a voice behind you. "Oi! What're you doing, lass?!"

Instead of stopping you like you assumed the owner of the voice had wished, it only fueled your adrenaline, and you climbed onto the stone faster.

"(Y/n), stop!!" the deep voice yelled, closer this time, and the volume attracted the attention of more dwarves, all of whole ran in your general direction to see what was going on.

You didn't care. You were following through with this. You straightened your back and mentally prepared yourself to jump, when a large hand roughly grabbed your arm and yanked you back to the safety of the floor.

🎶

"What were you thinking, (y/n)?!" Thorin cries.

You quickly recovered your footing and glared at Thorin. "Why did you do that?!"

"Why? I was saving your life!!" he shouted back, inwardly confused as to why you were upset at all, but also taken aback by the fact that you were speaking in a tone other than whispering.

"Maybe I didn't want you to save my life!!" you bellowed. You didn't even care that every other dwarf, Bilbo included, was watching this fight, all perplexed.

Thorin was just irritated now. "I was the only one around, there was no one else to help you-"

"No Thorin! No, no no! Maybe I didn't want to be saved by you! Maybe I wanted to fall! Maybe I wanted to die!! Ever stopped to think of that?!"

Everyone else present wore a look of pure shock. You had..wanted to die??

You took this shock to your advantage, and ran back to the ramparts, hopping onto the ledge and standing there, facing everybody. They all couldn't really take this in, and so they didn't reach you in time.

"You all don't need me. You don't want me. I don't want to be a bother anymore. I am leaving. Goodbye," you said quietly, and allowed yourself to fall backwards, off of the ledge, and plummeting to the ground below.

Panicked shouts ensued, as well as everyone poking their heads past the ramparts to helplessly watch you fall to your demise.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, and you stared at the beautiful blue sky, a giant sapphire against the white cottony clouds.

You smiled, one last second of happiness before your body smashed against the hard rock of the ground, much to the great displeasure and horror of the dwarves that remained on the ramparts far above your bloody, lifeless body.

Quite soon after this episode, the dwarves of Erebor somberly gathered your remains and placed them in a makeshift coffin, and buried you in the halls of their fathers and the royals, as a sign of respect. You had helped them reclaim Erebor, and you deserved every bit of lasting respect. All the dwarves and Bilbo took your death hard.

But the one who was broken the most was the one who had fallen for you in the first place. Thorin Oakenshield, king under the mountain.

[thewillowbends]

Thoughts on TLJ - SPOILERS

Now for some spoilery content!  Now that I've had a sleepless night going over some of my feelings about it, I can shuffle through what I did and didn't like.

- - - - -

TLJ Positivity:

-I liked the trajectory of Rey's whole storyline.  I had hedged my bets between two concepts - Rey as Anakin reborn (which, admittedly, I preferred because I'm an indulgent prequel junkie) or that she was a nobody, representing an entirely new generation to whom the Skywalker legacy was being handed to.  The wound up being the latter, but I'm not as disappointed as I expected.  While I have...many, many issues with some of the characterization in this film, hers felt like it progressed the most naturally.  This idea of legacies and prophecies going the way of the past, of letting a new generation start fresh but not at the expense of destroying it, of letting the PEOPLE take ahold of their destiny instead of the burden falling on a few "chosen ones" is not something I feel is necessarily a bad moral lesson for the audience nor fundamentally detrimental to the movies' previous material.

Note: I'm still writing that Rey-as-Anakin fic.  YOU CAN'T STOP ME DISNEY.

-Adam Driver has a really nice gym routine.  So does John Boyega.

-Kelly Marie Tran is adorable, guys.  She is literally the cutest.

-A film could never hurt for more POC and they could definitely use in the main cast, but I will say that the newer movies definitely feel more "casually diverse."  There are POC in the Rebellion, POC in villains, POC in the civilian culture, POC in the main cast.  It doesn't feel forced.  They're just THERE, which is how it should be.

-Adam Driver is also really good in this movie.  Considering we're not getting as extensive a backstory as most of us wished for Ben, he still does a remarkable job making the character engaging through his performance.  They essentially give him Vader's original plotline in ESB/ROTJ before the "Vader as Anakin" storyline came into fruition.  So he's sort of Vader's heir in a new and more devastating way.  Kylo isn't emotionally stable or enough of a visionary to really be the driving force of an empire, so it'll be interesting to see how that tension between Hux and Kylo works itself out in the last film.

- @ahollowyear  - I got a real kick out of how much of the actual storyline you accurately predicted vis a vis Kylo and Rey.  You wrote that fanfic, what, a year before the details of TLJ even started coming out?

-I am deeply relieved that we avoided the reductive light/dark balance the trailers teased at.  The dark side is still what imbalances the Force - it inevitably exists but is not necessary for balance.  Also, that the main cast's discussion of ~character complexity~ was not that open ended, since the film's protagonists actively reject more of the nihilistic viewpoints being thrown by side characters.

-Carrie Fisher is always and forever the queen. <3

-I liked the final scenes with Luke.  I really liked the choice of a binary sunset to bookend Luke's story.  Genreally, I'm not a huge fan of ALL POWERFUL JEDI, but I can deal with astral projected battles from a Skywalker because Skywalkers are special.  But he went out in a way that I found meaningful and touching.

TLJ Negativity:

WHERE THE HELL ARE RIAN JOHNSON'S EDITORS IN THIS MOVIE.

Seriously, what was going on with the writing process here?  Why is the plot all over the damn place?  (Answer: Because they didn't plot out this arcs in advance and it shows.)  Why do we spend 30-40 mintues on a casino sidequest that literally has NO ACTUAL EFFECT ON THE GODDAMN PLOT.  What are characters like Benicio del Toro's and Laura Dern even doing in this film?  We literally are trying to balance nearly two casts (OT/ST) worth of character development, the last thing you want or need is unnecessary characters distracting from the main development or wasted scenery.  And that's what literally the entire middle chunk of Rose and Finn's plotline - wasted action.

There are so many good ideas struggling to be communicated in the absolute muddled mess that is the middle of the movie.  We have a storyline about light and dark being natural opposite but neither being an inevitability outside of our personal choices.  We have the theme of the natural order of things, life begetting death begetting life, and the idea of legacies carrying us through strife so that we can become the heroes of our own making instead of relying on others to save us.  There's commentary about the significance of failures, how sometimes they're more important than victories because of what they reveal to us about ourselves and each other, and how we come to terms with them when they can't be easily remedied.  The casino is clearly meant to be a commentary about exploitative capitalism and the way the evil of fascism destroys culture and people from the top down.  All of these are great ideas, but you need to have that effectively communicated to your audience, and you need to communicate it meaningfully.

And the characters.  THE CHARACTERS.  The chaaaaaaaaaaaaraaaaacters.

Rey and Kylo I'm fine with.  Their development doesn't bother me.  I can even deal with Rose, though I wish her purpose in the plot wasn't so hamfisted.

But Finn and Poe?  Why did it feel like their character arcs literally rebooted for this film?  Poe is clearly inteded to be a kind of surrogate son to Leia ("mother of the rebellion"), serving as a foil to Ben, so I get why there's a general parallel there in the two progressing toward leadership roles - one who violently grasps at power, while the other faces some hard lessons about the reality and sacrifice of command as opposed to heroics.  I feel like that's a natural progression of what we saw in their relationship in TFA, but it still feels like a step back because the level of experience and confidence we saw in him in TFA doesn't mirror how Leia views him in TLJ.  If anything, he should have been growing into the position of command so that Leia can effectively and believably pass that legacy on to him.  Instead, what we get is a plotline that suggests to us that Poe isn't really ready for him, which is...regressive?  Like, all of these character should have been going through these changes at the start of the film, not ending on them.

(This being said, what the hell is wrong with Admiral Holdo that she can't understand the value of basic communication?  Like, she's meant as a lesson to the audience about mistaking reckless action for heroism, but it's hard not to agree with Poe when she's literally telling NOBODY UNDER HER NOTHING.  How easily could all of that drama been avoided if she's just said what the actual plan was instead of creating so much fear and uncertainty on the bridge?)

(I totally ship Leia/Holdo though.)

And Finn.  Oh my God, I feel so bad for John Boyega.  What a waste of his charisma and talent.  Most of TFA is Finn going from a deserter seeking *individual* salvation from the First Order and recognizing by the end the responsibility one has in the stand against evil.  So he basically...rehashes that entire character development here?  Wouldn't it have made more sense to see him struggling with his reputation as a hero in the Rebellion and then coming to terms with his new role?  Let him wrestle with the existentialist uncertainty of being able to make his own choices!  Explore the trauma of his experiences in the army by having him struggle with his fear and uncertainty while infiltrating the First Order - use it to emphasize the contradictions of his experiences with the freedom of his new life.

If you wanted to interject some moral ambiguity, why not have him address the issue that the New Order's army is essentially a SLAVE army?  Wouldn't that scene with Phasma held much greater power if he'd tried to appeal to his fellow soldiers about the destruction the New Order has wrought on their lives, about the potential they could have if they rose up against them?  If you're going to have Benicio del Toro nihilistically declaring that the war is endless and therefore moral standpoints are meaningless, why not have Finn reject that meaningfully to both the audience outside the movie and within it?  Legit y'all, my ideal ending for this man is to take his place in helping rebuild a newer, better system for all of them - and what better way than by helping to rehabilitate his fellow child soldiers?

Just ugh, out of everything that bothers me in the movie, Finn is the character that leaves the worst taste in my mouth.  He was my favorite in TFA, and his character development should be progressing beyond this point by now.

Also: GOD HELP ME if they kill off Leia in episode III.  It would be beyond heartless and irresponsible given the overall thematic trend of the movies.  The character who tells us dejectedly that she "went out fighting" is arguably the one who should live to pass the legacy on and die peacefully.

TLJ neutrality:

-I am on the fence regarding Luke's characterization, leaning towards finding it less problematic than others might.  He's pretty clearly suffering from severe depression, which can take a person to some pretty dark places.  Most of my struggles with his characterization center around his confrontation of Ben.  Do I feel that Luke is somebody who would pull the blade on his nephew?  Part of me violently rejects that, but there's another part that considers it from the perspective of somebody dealing with the horror of thinking he created another Vader, of knowing what Ben could become, of the Force showing him a horrific future...and giving into that temptation the dark side presents in thinking our choices are already made. I can dig the idea that part of nefariousness of the dark is in undermining our belief in full agency.  Could I believeably see him, in a moment of weakness, pulling his lightsaber?  I'm vacillating on the issue.  Ben Solo isn't all that particularly different from Jason in the old EU, and Luke toed the line of darkness dealing with his fall, too.

-I'd really like more EU exposition as to what exactly what down with Snoke and Ben when he was a child.  How was he already THAT damaged by the time of Luke's confrontation with him?  What was going on that Luke was either blind to or struggling to care for him without Leia and Han's help?

-I go between feeling like Leia was well used here to feeling like she could have done so much more, that we could have seen more emotional strife with her where Ben and Luke are concerned.  Instead, we knock her out partway through the movie, which is such a shame because we no longer have the option of the third movie to be her swan song.  Carrie Fisher was wonderful here, but I struggle with whether I feel like this story gave her the send off she deserved.

-The twins reunion.  It was touching and memorable, don't get me wrong, but it's sad to think that's the end of it.  I figured something like that was coming, but STILL.  God, Skywalker/Organa life depresses me.

-Speaking of, I'm a total idiot because it took me entirely too long to catch on to what was going on the astral projection scene.  Hurr hurr, I said, when did Luke build a new lightsaber?  And get sweet clothes?  And did he lift the X-wing out of the water to get there?  omfg, all of the hints were there, I'm just ridiculous.

-Yes, the scene with Leia saving herself with the Force is pretty cool.  Not sure if I feel it toes into ridiculous territory, though.

-SWEAR TO GOD DISNEY, if you give me a love triangle in the third film with girl fighting over Finn, I will flip my shit.

TLJ LOLs:

This movie practically made Rey and Ben canon, and I had a tremendously unkind moment of smug amusement at how the more obnoxious antis were going to react to this film. The histrionic discourse is the thing of legends, let me tell you.

[junker-town]

Every animal face-off in the BBC’s new nature documentary, rated

Sylvain CORDIER/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images

David Attenborough’s new show is epic ... and sports.

We continue our extremely important mission to conduct a scene-by-scene review of the BBC’s new nature documentary, Seven Worlds, One Planet, in order to see how sports it is. We determined that Episode 1, which focused on Antarctica, was reasonably sports. Asia was very sports. Time for ...

Episode 3 South America

Scene 1: Puma vs. Guanaco

Feeding a family of three is hard, especially if you’re a single mother who is also a Patagonian puma. Mountain lions, the Americas’ second-largest cat, don’t get the reputation they deserve: their glory is stolen overseas by African lions and tigers and at home (at least in South America) by the jaguar. But all big cats are worth our attention, because they’re designed to kill you. Yes, you personally.

Possessing murderous grace, strength complimented by rending claws, surprising stamina and teeth optimized to clamp around one’s neck just so, a puma is a serious predator. And, perhaps unfortunately for Patagonian pumas, they hunt serious prey: guanacos. They’re built for the mountains, with the ability to breathe very thin air. They’re also built for puma attacks. Thick skin around their neck helps protect them from the fatal bite, and their height and heft — over three times that of a mountain lion — does too. A guanaco is not an easy hunt.

But hunt them mother puma must. There’s the family to think of, after all. So we’re treated to a series of puma-guanaco battles, closely matched and extremely well-fought, on scrub and in snow.

Over a bruising few days, the mother, injured from an earlier attempt, finally makes a kill, sprinting to catch her foe, wrestling it to the ground, suffocating it with a bite and then dragging it over a mile back to her territory. Sometimes you just have to play through pain.

Aesthetics 10/10

Everything about this scene is beautiful, from the shapely mountains that backdrop the hunts to the limpid pools enjoyed by the cougar cubs. And both animals featured are lovely, too — we’ve discussed the murderous beauty of the puma, but there’s an elegant majesty to the hunted guanaco too.

Also, this dude makes a brief appearance:

BBC Earth

This is a dirty look that almost transcends perfection. Well done, grumpy old man puma.

Difficulty 10/10

The puma’s kill was difficult enough without having to drag a corpse a mile across the Patagonia scrubland while injured. That’s some good mothering.

Competitiveness 10/10

Guanaco are pretty spectacular things, and they gave the mother puma almost more than she could handle. An incredible battle.

Overall 30/30

Running to rodeo to wrestling to, uh, dragging? We’ll call this the puma tetrathlon, and it is definitely sports.

Scene 2: Turd Penguins

The Pacific coast of South America is shaped by the Andes above and the Atacama Trench below, where the Nazca Plate subducts under the continent to fuel its belching volcanic spine. The trench, and the Humboldt Current which flows above it, drive nutrients into the surface waters offshore, which attract some of the world’s largest concentrations of seabirds. And, therefore, also the world’s largest concentrations of seabird poop.

Guano has an incredible history. Seabird manure is extremely good for fertilizer, but in most areas of the world, many of the nutrients are washed out by rain. On the Peruvian coast, however, it doesn’t rain, so high-quality guano collects. And collects. And collects. When Alexander van Humboldt, who gave his name to the current (as well as a particularly disgusting species of penguin, whom we will be discussing later), brought back news of the Peruvian deposits, he sparked a massive guano boom.

For years, guano mining was the foundation of the Peruvian economy. Control of guano islands was so important that wars were fought over it, and the United States’ push into the Pacific was at least partly due to the search for new, uninhabited guano sites. The use of guano across the world has even been blamed — how credibly I’m not well-equipped to assess — for the particular strand of blight that caused the Irish Potato Famine. Until synthetic fertilizers were produced in the early 20th Century, guano was vital for world agriculture. Now it’s where some very awful penguins dig their disgusting little nests, coating themselves in the process.

My friends would describe me as dirty, but cute #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/TrsLBX0Y7c

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 10, 2019

NB: If you watch the full episode, be prepared to watch a penguin take a dump. Consider yourself warned.

Turd penguins, like their less smelly cousins, need to get to the sea to eat. And this is a more challenging affair than usual during breeding season, as the rich waters off the coast attract more than seabirds. Blocking off the penguins’ access is a full colony of sea lions.

I like to imagine (probably definitely incorrectly) that these sea lions are normally fairly chill animals. But when your nice, quiet beach is invaded by a shrieking mob of penguins LITERALLY COATED BEAK TO TAIL IN SHIT, it’s hard to be chill. And when those penguins ignore your warnings to go the fuck back to whatever shithole they came from and instead CROWD SURF OVER YOU, it’s even harder.

When you go into a store and the shop assistants pounce #SevenWorldsOnePlanet #amistakehasbeenmade pic.twitter.com/bI8DfPdAcL

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 10, 2019

Actual footage of life throwing me curveballs #SevenWorldsOnePlanet #oopsiedaisy pic.twitter.com/h5dn54cu5G

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 10, 2019

Turd penguin don’t give a fuuuuuuck.

Aesthetics 2/10

I’m the father of two small children and so consider myself fairly immune to whatever horrors bodily fluids might attempt to inflict upon me. But this is enormously gross, and not even some sassy sea lions can rescue it.

Difficulty 9/10

Running through a pack of angry sea lions who desperately want you to go away and could kill you quite easily is one thing. Using them as a jungle gym is another. Don’t try this at home. Actually, don’t try any of this scene at home.

Competitiveness 10/10

Humboldt penguins weigh somewhere around 10 pounds. An adult male sea lion can be as much as 20 times as heavy. Being willing to barge your way through/over a wall of angry muscle and blubber like that takes some incredible bravery.

Overall 21/30

Surfing is a sport, even when it’s done by unbelievably dreadful birds. Goodbye, turd penguins. I hated you.

Scene 3: Nerd Bears

There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd. Some of my best friends are nerds, after all. So when I say that the spectacled bear is a nerdy-looking bear, it’s out of affection. And accuracy:

Photo by Blick/RDB/ullstein bild via Getty Images

Cool glasses, nerd.

The spectacled bear is only found in the cloud forests of the Andes, and is correspondingly rare and vulnerable to habitat loss. But, like millennials, who do things like watch the world burning around them and yet spend their time shitposting about nature documentaries rather than actually doing anything useful, these bears love avocados. Even when those avocados are 30 meters off the ground.

These nerds aren’t as heavy as the polar or brown bears we met in the Asia episode, but they’re still reasonably heavy, and the thin branches that the avocados grow on are nowhere near big enough to support them. So the smart bears just bite into the branches so that they dangle down low enough for them to reach. The less smart bears bite them off entirely and have to climb all the way back down. Most fast and break things. That’s the nerd way.

Aesthetics 7/10

I’m mostly giving this a good score because there aren’t any penguins in it. But also these bears have some pretty good vibes:

Me living my best life #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/WMreQHmzww

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 10, 2019

Difficulty 5/10

That’s a pretty big tree to climb, and a pretty big body with which to climb.

Competitiveness 7/10

In the battle of bear and bear, all it takes is a little bit of technique and know-how to get the upper paw.

Overall 19/30

On the surface, the avocado hunt is not exactly the stuff to stir one’s blood. But there’s an important, if unspoken rule about sport-assessing, of which I am now a professional: if you watch cheating, there’s a pretty good chance that it’s sports.

Scene 4: Look at this monkey’s hair!

These Cotton-top Tamarins are critically endangered, which is a big shame because they have cool hair. Their habitat is being destroyed for all the traditional reasons, and it’s depressing. You know the drill.

Aesthetics 10/10

Someone get me their stylist’s number ASAP. I can only assume Carlos Valderrama was inspired by these little dudes.

Difficulty 10/10

This was going to be a bunch of monkeys sitting around and looking cool while their home is being razed around them, like a primate version of the ‘This is Fine’ dog. And then one did an absurd tree jump, which would kill 100 percent of the humans that tried to match it.

Competition 0/10

Monkeys vs. praying mantis? No contest. Monkeys vs. the inexorable tide of ‘progress’ that is slowly grinding their entire species away. Also no contest.

Overall 20/30

If everyone doing long jumps at the Olympics had these haircuts they’d get way better sponsorships. Sports.

Scene 5: The Very Horny Bird Squad

Birdsong is one of the joys of spring, and it’s only improved by the knowledge that it’s a bunch of tiny dinosaurs loudly expressing their desperate need to make some babies. Cheep-cheep-sexnowplease-cheep. For many birds, mere song is not enough. Bright, ostentatious plumage is a sign that a male is healthy and thus that his courtship attempt is worth responding to. And sometimes, the female bird wants to see some dancing.

Bird courtship routines are a staple of natural history programming, but in the Amazon we’re treated something rather more curious: the Blue Manakin team dance.

The lead male bird somehow wrangles a squad of subordinates to help him do his *ahem* dirty work. Attenborough claims that “by supporting [the leader] now they may themselves eventually become leaders and get a chance to mate,” which sounds dubious to me. It’s basically a bird sex pyramid scheme, little buddies, so don’t fall for it. The leader’s out to screw you.

This scene is made much better by the fact that the female bird is completely uninterested.

Aesthetics 10/10

Beautiful birds, beautiful dance moves. I particularly love the synchronized shuffle-hop, but the final flap-your-wings-while-screaming routine might need some work (its target seemed to think so too).

Difficulty 8/10

I can’t even dance by myself, let alone in a group. How many hours of practice went into this routine?

Competition 7/10

This very good dance not being good enough strongly implies that there are other, more capable bird squads around.

Overall 25/30

Team dancing is sports, even if in this case it’s extremely horny sports.

Scene 6: Poison Dart Frogs

Living in the rainforest is a pretty good deal for poison dart frogs. It’s nice and damp, there are some great trees to hang out in, and since almost everything that touches you has an unpleasant experience they get a fairly stress-free time.

But there is a problem: standing water. With some deeply weird exceptions (don’t google the Suriname toad if you have trypophobia), amphibians need water in which to lay their eggs. There aren’t too many ponds to be had, up in the canopy. So they have to make use of the tiny pools of water that collect in bromeliads, one per egg. Sometimes they choose badly and the small pool in which the egg has been placed dried up before their tadpole has finished developing:

Blob fish or tadpole? You decide#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/DUr5hn8tbm

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 10, 2019

That tadpole is in trouble, and the only way to help is to get it to a real pool of water. That means relocation via piggyback ride, perhaps even to a new tree, and then a summoning of the tadpole’s mother to lay another (unfertilized) egg to serve as food. Yum yum.

Aesthetics 3/10

Poison dart frogs have bright and flashy coloring to warn predators not to eat them. These yellow-and-black ones are particularly smart-looking. But bright colors alone aren’t doing it for me.

Difficulty 6/10

When you’re less than an inch long, searching through the forest with a baby on your back for a new place to stash it must be very hard work. Remembering where exactly you’ve dumped all your children seems like a tough task too.

Competitiveness 2/10

I’m guessing that there are a bunch of other poison dart frogs looking for egg pools in this forest, so I guess they can have a couple points here.

Overall 10/30

Not sports.

Scene 7: Scarlet Macaws

Parrots jostle and fight for position on the banks of a particular stretch of the Amazon. Are they after food? Not exactly. Parrots’ diet is low in salt, and their chicks need salt to develop, and here, at the edge of the river, is salt-laden clay. So the parrots squabble to grab a chunk of mud, fly up to 50 miles (!) back to their nests, and feed it to their children.

Aesthetics 5/10

Scarlet macaws are pretty birds:

Nothing more romantic than a cheeky head scratch and a chest peck #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/kgea0ciCCg

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 10, 2019

And we get to see more than just them. There are plenty of blue-and-gold macaws (my favorites) battling it out for the mud too, plus a sizable squadron of what I think are probably Amazon parrots in their greens.

Difficulty 4/10

This is more annoying than difficult, apart from the very long distances the birds have to fly.

Competitiveness 3/10

If there was a real free-for-all this would have scored quite high, but there appear to be just enough rules in parrot society to keep the clay harvesting from descending into an all-out brawl.

Overall 12/30

Nope.

Scene 8: Un-diving

This is more like it. A thousand miles south of the parrot clay feast, a troop of brown capuchins is moving through the trees, looking for breakfast. Staring up at them, following their every move, are ... fish. The piraputanga are able to see the monkeys clearly because Bonito’s Rio da Prata is fed by freshwater springs, naturally filtered by the underlying rock.

Are these fish on the hunt for monkey meat? No. Like dogs following a toddler, they’re hoping for their scraps. When the monkeys find ripe fruit — impossible to spot from underwater — they stop and eat. Plenty drops into the river. But an anaconda soon interrupts breakfast, attempting to ambush the capuchins from underwater.

Fortunately, that’s not the end of the piraputangas’ meal. Now that they know where the fruit is, they have schemes of their own:

...Try, try again #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/WEGJHlB1sm

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 10, 2019

I have to admit that I did not see this one coming.

Aesthetics 9/10

This is a beautiful scene. While none of the animals themselves are that attractive, the environments, particularly the crystal-clear waters of the Rio da Prata, are sublime. The anaconda’s slither through the mud carries with it potent, barely-seen menace. And then there’s the piraputanga jump. They have surprisingly good form, for fish.

Difficulty 8/10

Trying to jump several times your body height to grab something you can only barely see would be tricky enough if you were able to use your hands. Now imagine you have to do that with your teeth.

Competition 8/10

These fish mean business, and there’s not enough fruit to go round. After the monkeys are done with their handouts, the highest and best jumper is literally the one which gets to eat. A bonus point for the anaconda hunt.

Overall 25/30

Diving is sports. Un-diving is also sports.

Scene 9: Waterfall Skimmers

Norberto Duarte/AFP via Getty Images

Great dusky swifts will do a lot to protect their chicks. Harried and harassed by falcons, they have a perfect hiding spot for their nests: behind the thundering curtain of the Iguaçu Falls. The falls, on the border between Brazil and Argentina, are the biggest waterfall complex in the world, and the wet rock behind them is all that the chicks know before they take their first flight. Which is right through the pouring water and to the other side:

These great dusky swifts are able to fly right through the thundering torrents of water.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/txtjP3mOFo

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 10, 2019

Birds nesting in challenging places gives their chicks a great chance in the earliest days but creates a terrible bottleneck later on. This trial by waterfall isn’t the worst thing nature does to baby birds, but it’s an impressive challenge to get past. Blind and bedraggled, these tiny, barely-fledged swifts have to force their way through the falls and out into the open air for the very first time. Their reward is some pretty damn good scenery, and probably getting eaten by a falcon or something.

(Bonus video!) Here is the worst thing that nature does to baby birds:

Aesthetics 10/10

Lovely. While great dusky swifts aren’t very pretty on their own, especially when wet and flummoxed, the Iguaçu Falls are one of the planet’s most spectacular sights, and watching these 8-inch birds take them on is unbelievably cool.

Difficulty 10/10

This is another thing that would definitely kill you if you attempted it. Well, all flying would, but especially this one.

Competition 9/10

Little birds vs. enormous waterfall is a David-and-Goliath sort of deal.

Overall 29/30

Extremely sports.

[kitsunesbooks]

Re:Creators: My Favorite Anime of Spring 2017

As a writer who happens to dabble in the realms of philosophy, often do questions arise that entertain me for hours on end. I’ve sometimes found myself asking what it would be like to see my characters face to face. I’ve wondered what they would think of me, would we get along or would they all hate me for pitting them against such harsh environments and situations? It’s funny to think about things like this because I’m sure everyday people wonder what they would do if they met their god. It’s just that in this instance, I represent the god, as prideful and cocky as that sounds. Nevertheless, it’s been my belief for awhile now that an artist is the closest thing that humanity has come to becoming gods. Through art, and especially story telling, entire worlds can come into existence. This is the kind of subject material that Re: Creators tackles.

Re: Creators is for all intents and purposes, an isekai story. Isekai being that very prevalent anime trope/sub genre of story where the main character gets trapped in a fantasy world. However, to keep things somewhat fresh, the fantasy world comes into our world, or at least a version of our world. Within Re:Creators, characters from anime, manga, and videogames somehow make their way out into the real world and engage in kickass battles and debates on metaphysics. So if you know anything about me from the articles I’ve written, then you’ve figured out that I am 100% in on this show. The action and meat of the plot is great and all but it's all the metaphysics and mechanics of this universe that keep me thoroughly entertained. The conversations that occur between “creations” and “creators” are in depth and thought provoking. In a way, this anime is some bizarre form of wish fulfillment because I am actually getting theoretical answers to my questions.

The beauty of Re:Creators is how it takes characters who, for all intents and purposes, fit into strict archetypes and then slowly bends them to conform to our world’s rules. While using archetypes as a basis for character development is nothing new to storytelling, Re:Creators more or less bends the archetypes themselves through the small tidbits of character development shown throughout the series. One of the best characters in the entire show thus far is Magical Slayer Mamika. Mamika is a magical girl from what essentially is knock off Sailor Moon. As an added bonus, her design is heavily reminiscent of Madoka from Madoka Magica, which sort of helps to further cement her development and almost poke fun at a certain trope. Mamika basically tears apart the idea that injecting some “realism” into a magical girl story is in someway nuanced. While Madoka gets credit for making it work, it has opened the floodgates for a ton of really bad, edgy magical girl stories that are honestly hot garbage. Mamika however is more based in actual reality as opposed to realism. The first instance we see of Mamika is her fight with another “creation,” Selesia. Mamika recklessly goes all out and unleashes some devastating magic on her opponent with complete disregard to her surroundings. If this were any other character in any other show, she would be written off as just an asshole or a generic “sadist” character. However, when Mamika realizes that rules of our world conflict with her own, it shocks her. She came from a children’s magical girl show. Basically a Saturday morning cartoon. There isn’t any blood in her world and morality is all black and white for the most part. It is a simplistic world with little thought put into it and Mamika’s first interaction in our world is incredibly evident of that.

That first battle Mamika experiences is what sets her character arc into motion and has pretty much made her one of the best characters in the series thus far. Her eventual turnaround was very well paced and written and I hope we get to see just as much inventive and clever writing for all of our cast members. Mamika goes through a rampant sequence of development during the more recent episodes. We see that she still clings to her sense of morals but also shows that she is even willing to go against her own friends when they are doing something wrong. Mamika wants nothing more than peace, which makes sense given her source material. However, instead of Mamika’s judgement being simple minded as it would be in any magical girl show, or the plot focusing on how depressing her situation is, we see her learn and adapt. Her sense of justice doesn’t waver and instead adapts to the morals of our own world as she fights to protect both sides. All she wants is for the fighting to stop and for no one to be killed, and when she finally makes up her mind on what side to take, her actions have that much more weight behind them. Being the type of character she is, she shows everyone kindness, even the villains of this story, especially given they don’t match the archetypes of villains in a typical kid’s show. To Mamika, the villains of Re:Creators aren’t villains at all, they are just people who want to do bad things with good intentions. I could go on and on about Mamika’s character arc, but you are more than likely better off checking out the video Mother’s Basement put out on Re:Creators. Geoff does a, MUCH, better job at analyzing these characters than I do. Nevertheless, Mamika gives you just a taste of the kind of meta story Re:Creators is and honestly it is a hot contender for anime of the season if it hits the right notes.

One thing I can talk about that hasn’t been mentioned before is yet another intriguing character. With our Military Uniform Princess taking the role of main villain it was hard to think that the show would introduce an even greater threat, but it did. Magane Chikujoin is a villain character from a series in Re:Creators world called Yoru Mado Kiroku. Judging by how she acts and behaves as well as her abilities I pegged her as coming from a straight up horror series or maybe even a battle seinen with darker and more mature themes than your typical shonen series. She has a very clever ability that protects her almost indefinitely and she is a complete liar, so much so that she get’s a kick out of it. Lying is her weapon and she uses it to devastating effect. Magane is honestly a terrifying character due to her incredible ability as well as her contrasting schoool girl attitude. She is definitely much more of a villain than the Military Uniform Princess and there some big reasons why. Her knack for telling lies has gotten her involved with every major character in the series. She has a variety of strings she can pull, and while we saw her latest machination get foiled by the heroes’ raw determination and will, it is clear that Magane is willing to say ANYTHING to get what she wants. Compared to Mamika who has undergone a dramatic shift in her archetype, Magane’s archetype has only grown more rotten. She now finds herself in a world where she can do anything she wants without having her fellow characters get in the way. Bringing her to the real world was essentially the equivalent of unchaining a feral beast. Magane is shaping up to be the series’ true villain and it shows. The events of the latest episode proved her to be much more powerful than we anticipated, and with her acknowledgement of zero restraints she becomes that much more dangerous. Magane isn’t just a simple sadistic villain, she is a self-aware villain. She is aware of the existence of her world and ours. Not only that, but the way she behaves makes the viewer think that she might be aware of the world outside the screen, because Re: Creators is still an anime. It doesn’t exist in our world outside of that medium, yet there are several moments where Magane is talking directly to the camera and it seems more like she is talking to us, the viewer. There is one scene in Episode 9 that really hammers this home where she begins talking to herself, yet she is staring straight at us. Not only that, but the things she says are inquisitive and it’s almost like she is trying to convince us, the viewers, that she told the truth, when in reality she bent it. It is that one thing that adds so much more gravity to a character like this and it is incredibly intense.

I could probably talk about this show forever, but I want to leave some of these characters as a surprise for those of you who intend to give the series a shot. This is an anime that is clearly aimed at artists. Whether you draw, animate, or just write, this series was made to be watched by you. The questions and conversations posed by Re:Creators can easily be applied to your own work, and through that it provides perspective. It makes us question the content we create. It makes us wonder just exactly how our characters would truly feel in the situations we put them in. It also makes us question the level of detail we give our worlds. There are so many minor and major details across this series that resonate with me immensely. Because of that, it has become one of favorites of this season, if not this entire year. If you are an artist, I urge you to watch this show. You will not be disappointed, and I’m sure you’ll come away from it with a renewed view on your work. Hope you enjoyed the article.

[iamthenightwriter-blog]

Samurai Jack: Dead and Resurrected

At the time of writing this it’s been a week since the finale of the final season of Gennedy Tartakovsky’s Samurai Jack. While I do have several issues regarding the series (particularly the ending), for the most part I greatly enjoyed it. I thought that the more mature tone benefitted the series, that the artwork was beautiful but also served to strengthen the storytelling and that the depiction of Jack’s mental health and his soul-shattering depression was praiseworthy.

 There is one element though that I really, really want to talk about:

The Series fifth season opening. More specifically, how it conveys Jack’s mental state and foreshadows his recovery back to the samurai we all know and love. And it’s all told to us through the visuals.

As the series opening credits begin to roll the first image that we encounter is the deep vacuum of space. This cements the theme of existentialism within the narrative. Space, whether it is in movies like 2001: A Space Odyssey or Blade Runner, is the appropriate setting and context in which to discuss a person’s place within the universe.

The fact that we’re travelling through space slowly is also indicative of this theme. We are drifting through it. Not rushing through it. We have no agency. We have no purpose. More specifically, Jack has no agency. He has no purpose. Jack enters the frame and we’re quick to realize that our Samurai Warrior is lost. He’s drawn in inverted black and white. He’s been turned inside out over the past 50 years. There is some clever visual wordplay here that ties in with the theme of depression featuring here as well. Jack, drawn in inverted black and white is, quite literally, a negative. He’s negative. He’s depressed. Not only is Tartakovsky including a metaphor that could be easily dismissed as a stylistic choice but he’s using it as a plant that will pay off later.

We then cut to a wide shot where jack literally standis on a precipice. He’s on the edge, not quite ready to fall into the abyss but not too far from it either. Jack is contrasted with his environment showing how small and powerless the Samurai really is. How insignificant.

The waves crashing against the cliff serve as a reminder of what will happen to Jack if he succumbs to despair and takes the plunge. He’ll be thrown against the cliff just like those waves continuously breaking against the rocks.

The colour palette is also worth noting. The sickly yellows and blues serve to tell the audience that something is definitely off. While setting the mood and tone of the image they also manage to convey once again Jack’s mindscape; the sickly yellow of the sky, shows how unwell the Samurai really is. It is Jack’s internal mindset externalized. The whole image is reflecting this.

Watching the waves crashing against the rocks to no effect is a metaphor for powerlessness itself. No matter how hard the waves break against the cliff it will still be there, unchanged. What’s the point? Exactly. Why should Jack try to change anything when the only outcome is failure? Why shouldn’t he give up forthright?

It’s a powerful visual encapsulating the meaninglessness of the Samurai’s struggle that no matter how hard he battles against the (metaphorical) rock, no matter how he throws himself against it again and again, the cliff will remain there always, unfazed, unmoving and insurmountable. It is a futile endeavor. Trying to change the world is a useless act. Trying to defeat Aku and return to the past is an impossible one.

This is another instance where the show uses visual metaphors to try and convey the theme of depression.

The next shot continues to expand on the themes of isolation and loneliness. The manner in which the camera moves downward to Jack is both an indication of how far the samurai has fallen and the passage of time. We can assume that this shot occurs chronologically before the previous one as Jack is still sporting his topknot.  Here, Jack is only just beginning to slide into his existential crisis, near the beginning of his fifty-year struggle.

The shot is once again composed to make Jack small and vulnerable. Huddled into a ball, he’s literally got his back again a wall with nowhere to turn. He feels trapped in the future with no way to return to the past. The gigantic tree trunk looms over him as a reminder of how small and feeble he really is.

The colour scheme is also noteworthy. It’s snowing so of course there are going to be lots of whites and blues but what does it mean? What is Tartakovsky trying to convey to his viewers? The use of blue is obvious. Jack is sad, very sad. His normally white colour scheme has been eclipsed by a blue one. Jack has literally been bathed in blue.

There is a second meaning behind the blue that could tie into what white stands for in the frame: death. Snow and by proxy the colour white are motifs synonymous with death. Jack is currently surrounded by it. To be clear, it is not a literal death I am talking about here. More a metaphorical one. Jack is unable to return to the past. His mission has been rendered moot. He has no purpose. Nothing to give him agency. Nothing to strive for. Nothing to move him forward. He might as well be dead.

The use of blue is reminiscent of Derek Jarmen’s movie, Blue. The connection might seem tedious but in the film, Jarmen uses the colour blue as a means to discuss and meditate on the concept of death. I believe that Tartakovsky is also using the colour here to convey Jack’s existential crisis and his metaphorical death.

The snow falls around him and yet Jack is as still as a statue. His aging process might have been stopped but here it is almost as if Jack has been frozen in time. Again, that feeling of helplessness, of apathy, is meant to convey Jack existential crisis and his resulting depression. Even the motif of the tree trunks disappearing into the distance are meant to communicate a sense of infinity and repetition. That Jack’s life is just an insignificant speck when juxtaposed with the world around him.

Overall, the panel is meant to convey existential themes and how they effect Jack’s mental space. Tartakovsky masterfully grafts an image that manages to make use of colour palette, composition and movement in order to communicate the themes of loss and loneliness.

The next shot is of Jack breathing out Aku. Again, this is meant to be taken metaphorically. A call back to the episode “The Aku Infection” it could be an indication that Jack is struggling with his inner self and how Aku isn’t the only “evil” that Jack must fight against. Aku’s drifting toward the viewer, growing bigger and bigger, before swallowing us up could be understood in two ways. The first is that Aku is going to infect us too, that we the audience will too be tainted by Aku much like Jack was. The second is how Jack’s ever growing depression threatens to swallow up everything around him, consuming everything in its path, including the viewer.

The flash to white leaves no ambivalence that death is the only outcome.

“Aku’s grasp chokes the past…

…present…

…and future.”

The next three shots show Jack viewing the destruction and chaos that Aku has caused over time.

That Jack is silhouetted in the foreground, watching with the viewers the horrors that Aku has unleashed (and will unleash) is interesting. Jack is the only constant. He’s a statue, a fixture in time. He’s become used to the evils that Aku has caused and by proxy become disconnected from them. Fifty years is a long time and after a while everything becomes repetitive. Even travesties like these ones. The use of fades here, with Jack being the only consistent element is important. While we the audience are shocked by the scenes (or at least should be!) Jack watches on, unmoving. He’s not aghast, he’s not holding his head in horror.

He’s apathetic.

He’s removed himself from the horror. Distanced himself apart from it.

Jack has grown used to such scenes. He’s can no longer bear to be invested in these people’s plights. He can no longer bear to be the hero.

He’s a spectator. A viewer. Jack is as powerless as you or I to stop what’s been done. What is still being done. All he can do is watch on helplessly as another village, another city, another community is decimated. Or at least that’s what he tells himself.

Failure is another element that fits in with the theme of depression that Tartakovsky is trying to establish. Failure hurts. Too much of it and you can feel like giving up altogether. However, too often in traditional media is giving up depicted as a shallow and easy choice. That all you need to do is pull yourself up by your bootstraps and things will automatically turn themselves around.

I have to applaud Tartakovsky for a more nuanced approach. By showing how much Jack has gone through, how his failures have piled up, Tartakovsky is not only depicting a more layered and three-dimensional character but also a more authentic portrayal of depression and failure. Think about it. Would Jack have given up easily? Would a guy who literally tied a boulder to his back in order to jump better, just give up?

I don’t think so.

Like Morgan Freeman’s Somerset in Seven, it wasn’t “just one thing” that broke Jack. It was a never-ending barrage of failure that got our samurai to throw in the towel.

Continuing the continuity of the same pose from the previous panel but positioning Jack further away into the background implies how Jack has distanced himself from both the viewers and a social community. Jack is now actively trying to isolate himself. He wants to be disconnected.

           The use of the dutch angle (how the frame is tilted on its side) is indicative of Jack’s “skewed view.” He’s literally been unbalanced and standing on lop-sided ground. His mental state has become unstable and as a result Jack is beginning to make bad decisions, like purposefully detaching himself from other people. There’s a reason that he’s standing in a field by himself and not a busy market street.

The grey colour palette is an externalisation of Jack’s bleak viewpoint. Everything is grey, just like Jack’s world view, further cementing the samurai’s apathy and indifference to the universe around him.

In the penultimate shot in the sequence we see the pay off from the first shot realised. While Jack was drawn in black at the beginning of the sequence the samurai is now rendered in white. This foreshadows Jack’s own character arc within the series and how he will overcome his depression by the series end. There are some neat little visual elemnents that show how different Jack is from the beginning of the opening credits.

If you were to label Jack’s actions in the previous shots, if you had to give a name to what he was doing you might say that Jack was “drifting, wandering etc.” These are pretty passive verbs. And they are correct. Without a purpose, Jack is lost. He wanders. He drifts.

Not anymore. The way the camera tilts upward indicates how Jack has climbed his way out of his depressed mindstate. The inverted colour scheme communicates how much he has changed and how he is the opposite to the samurai we met at the beginning of the opening.

           But most of all it is Jack himself that tells us that the Samurai has been resurrected. No longer in silhouette, a flash of lightning illuminates his face.Jack, filled with grim determination faces towards the foreground. Having drawn his sword, he is poised to attack. Now this, this is agency. Jack has found his purpose once again. He has a mission. He knows what he has to do.

Even the weather has become more active as a result. No longer is snow slowly falling or waves sluggishly crashing against a cliff. Rain shoots down like gunfire, lightning cracks overhead. The pathetic fallacy here is telling us that there’s a storm coming and that Jack’s the one bringing it.

To sum up: This is an action hero. This is a samurai warrior. 

The title card literally burns through the screen to remind us who it is that the show is named after. It is also symbolic of the fire that has been lit within Jack. The drive that has rekindled within. That the samurai once again has a purpose and the ambition to achieve his goals.

[phawareglobal]

Samantha Ramirez - phaware® interview 236

Former pulmonary hypertension patient and lung transplant recipient, Samantha Ramirez discusses her PH diagnosis because of over-the-counter diet pills and the need for continued need for PH awareness.

Hi, my name is Samantha Ramirez and I'm from Orange County, California. I was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension back in April, 2006.

My weight has always been a battle for me since I was a teenager. Off and on through high school, I used diet pills. Back in that time, lots of young ladies were using fen-phen. I didn't want to use fen-phen because it was very scary hearing of all the horror stories of women just dropping on the floor and dying because of using diet pills. So, I just started using over-the-counter diet pills and that is something that they don't put on the bottle, that it's going to give you pulmonary hypertension or any sort of rare lung disease.

I visited my primary care doctor, because I was working out to Tae Bo; so for those of you that don't know what Tae Bo is, back in the day, in the 90's or 2000, it was a boxing workout. So I was trying to do that, trying to be healthy, because weight has always been a battle for me. One day I was working out and my heart was in my throat. I figured something was going on because it wasn't normal. I was just too young to be having any heart condition.

I went to my primary care [doctor]. They checked out my heart, did an X-ray and they just came back with, "Your heart's enlarged. It's about the size of a football." I figured, "Okay, so what are we doing after this?" They're like, "Oh well, we need to run more tests. It's going to take about two to three weeks." "I don't have three weeks," I told her. "I feel like I'm going to die if something isn't done right now." And she just said, "If you feel that way, go to the ER." So when I went to the ER, they diagnosed me with pulmonary hypertension through the use of my diet pills.

Being so young and not being able to walk from my home to my car within a few months was just like, "Whoa what's going on?" I also had blue lips. I had lots of swelling in my ankles, a lot in my stomach, and my face. I had also what they said is very rare for PHers to have, but it did happen to me, I had severe coughing. So I was unable to have a conversation with someone like I used to. A normal person can talk probably for hours. I cannot. I would always be short of breath or cough during a conversation, and I was just basically exhausted from coughing. My ribs were hurting non-stop all the time with the symptoms of PH. And also the pain in the jaw when you're eating.

You have to cope with a lot of things that PH takes away from you, from your normal life. Simple things. Combing your hair, tying your shoes, putting on your clothing, brushing your teeth, taking a shower. Just simple stuff. Sometimes I had to literally ask for help from my daughter [who] was actually about eight years old at the time. She went through a lot as well with helping me out. Also family has to cope with your illness as well, if you have a spouse or not. They have to cope with it, and sometimes they stay and sometimes they don't. In my case, it was better that my spouse left. That's what happened with me. I was going through the PH, and I also had to cope with PH and going through a divorce, and dealing with the whole nine yards. That was part of it, as well.

I think that was one of the biggest problems with dealing with PH, is you have to adjust your life. It's hard to have your own children help you do things, especially when they're so little. And now, after my transplant she tells me, "Oh you can do it now. You can do this. You can do this." So she kind of challenges me and I think that's a good thing. But it is very difficult I think for a child and family to cope, but it is always good to have support.

In my beginning of PH, I didn't have a lot of support like meetings and support groups, because I didn't know of any of them. So I had to stay strong and be positive, and that was my motivation to get through with PH. And my family that I had near, which was my mother, my father, and my brothers, and my daughter at the time. And my grandmother.

Sometimes PH can be depressing and you have to kind of push through it because that's the point of life, I think it’s just fighting for your life. When you think negative about it, I think it kind of makes you more sick. That's what I kind of went through. I felt that if I kept negative people in my life, and kept thinking negative things, or just bad things about PH, then it would just kind of bring me down. So I try to think of the positives and then just keep moving forward until I figured what I wanted to do with the next step with PH. Even though I know that there's no cure for it, in the reality of it, something was going to happen in my life and that's why I kept pushing for it.

When I was first diagnosed I was offered a transplant right away. I was told that I was not going to live the rest of 2006 if I had not taken any meditation, any oral medication, or intravenous medication. So I was first offered transplant, and then I said "No." Because it's a risk. They tell you the whole process of it, so I decided to go with just oral medication. It worked for a few months, probably about two months in 2006 when I went on them in April. Then after that I decided to go on Flolan. So [my doctor] did get me on the Flolan, because my doctor encouraged that if I got on the Flolan, I was going to feel better [and] be able to function better. But unfortunately, it didn't work for me. It worked for a few months, about the same thing, about three months, four months, and then I would titrate down again. They would up my dose. I was on Flolan probably about three and a half years, almost four, until I got my transplant in April of 2009.

When you go through a transplant, you can't be too stable or too sick. You have to be in between, you kind of have to be in the middle. And that's kind of hard to do sometimes, because as a PH patient sometimes you have other issues that you're dealing with that you might not qualify. But fortunately, I was a good candidate. I was put on the transplant list after they do all the process and all the testing. Then they put you on the list and you have to wait. My waiting for my transplant, [was] not too long. I know that others say that they waited for years or months. For me, I was on the transplant list probably about four months in total. I got taken off the transplant list probably about two to three weeks, because I ended up with a really bad cold. When you're sick with something they take you off. Once they put me back on active, I got the call within about two weeks after that.

I got the call to transplant, it was about 4 o'clock in the morning from Cedars-Sinai. I was just excited. At the same time, scared because transplant is a scary thing. Like I said, in the beginning I was offered transplant and I didn't want to do it because of all the risk; but then again, I thought to myself, "PH there's no cure. With transplant you're taking a risk, with both of them either way." I was ready in my mind; spiritually, emotionally, and physically I was ready for the transplant. And that's one of the things that you have to focus on when you're going to go through transplant, is have all those three in line. The hospital that does your transplant will also make sure that you have those in line. It was a difficult decision but I knew I had to do it, because I knew I wanted to save my life. Even though I was risking my life, there was a chance that I was going to make it. And I did. So nine years later, here I am.

The advice I give to someone who is either fighting with PH, or you're going to fight through your journey with transplant, either one it's a battle. You have to be ready for it. You have to stay positive. There is ups and downs for both of those things. Transplant is not a cure. It definitely is not. I know of a lot of transplant patients that have passed on waiting for transplant, and also after transplant just for different reasons. Everyone is different, so you can't base your experience from the other person. I suggest that you take the positive parts of it, and just again, not think too much of the negative part of it.

So after my transplant, I met a lot of PHers. I know the experience of going through transplant, and also being a PHer. So I understand both sides. I think for me, meeting a lot of friends and PHers has kept me motivated. Even though I had my transplant, I still stick around the PH community because I met so many great people. It's not just something that you just have a transplant and a lot of people forget. Yes, you want to forget about PH, you do. But I do want a cure.

My goal is to help spread PH awareness a little more because there's not enough of it. I had a lot of experiences when I had PH, going to the hospital, where nurses and doctors did not know about PH. Here in the Orange County area, they knew me as "The PH Girl." Here comes the girl with the PH. Because unfortunately, there's not enough knowledge with doctors and nurses, and just caregivers, and people in general.

One thing that motivates me as well to continue to spread awareness is, I started an organization myself. It's call the FUCK PH Organization. If you want to be bold about PH, this is an organization you want to check out. I did it to help spread more awareness. I think any bit counts because we do need it, and the goal is getting as many people to know about PH so we can eventually find a cure.

I am Samantha Ramirez and I am aware that I'm rare.

Learn more about pulmonary hypertension trials at www.phaware.global/clinicaltrials. Never miss an episode with the phaware® podcast app. Follow us @phaware on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube & Linkedin Engage for a cure: www.phaware.global/donate #phaware #ClinicalTrials @antidote_me 

Listen and View more on the official phaware™ podcast site

[aurimeanswind]

Here comes the Storm—Sunday Chats (11-26-17)

Another week, another long time away from those sweet, good people who came to my house for ExtraLife. It’s definitely been the hardest adjustment period after a nice big fun-time event for me, and while I’m still bummed, I’m pushing through.

Game of the Year Season

So I said on a most recent podcast that we will not be doing our annual Game of the Year “Guest Top 10” podcasts, where I would go around, collect guests from different rabbit holes on the internet, and sit down with them for an hour-long chat to essentially interview them on their ten favorite video games from that year. I’ve decided against it, but I did imply that there may be something in its place. It’s still in the early stages of planning, so I haven’t said anything big on it yet, ad I’m trying to keep it pretty secret, so bear with me here.

If you have played any of these ten games, and would be interested in talking about them in a mostly positive manner, please reach out to me:

Breath of the Wild

Nier Automata

Hellblade

Mario Odyssey

Wolfenstein 2

Danganronpa V3

Persona 5

Edith Finch

Destiny 2

Resident Evil 7

Now reaching out to me doesn’t guarantee a spot on any to-be-announced project, but I want to start writing down names. Please reach out to me in whatever way you prefer and tell me what game you’ve played and would be interested in talking about. I’ll keep you posted as best I can.

Game of the Year is always a hectic time for me since it’s a lot of “oh god I need to finish this, this, and that,” but it’s also a time where a lot of great conversations start happening, and when those fun end-of-year announcements come billowing forth. I’m excited because of the conversations I get to listen in on, and possibly partake in, but I’m also hesitant since many of my choice favorite games will receive I’m sure the most scrutinous eye.

Regardless, if you’re the kind of person who gets vehemently upset when your favorite podcast or The Game Awards don’t pick your favorite game as Game of the Year, or RPG of the year, or whatever, my advice to you is: chill. I’ve been in your shoes before, and I know that frustration when the thing you love so much doesn’t get the recognition you think it deserves, but relax. One gaming site, or outlet, or awards show doesn’t reflect everyone unanimously, and just because someone liked one thing more than you did, or didn’t like something as much as you, doesn’t invalidate your feelings. Enjoy what you love.

Chase your bliss, as I sometimes say.

What’s on Tap:

Assassin’s Creed Origins

I finally finished this game!

Woof. It kind of drags at the end.

I’ll say this, I put over 100 hours into two excellent games this year, Persona 5 and Zelda, and they flew by. When I looked at my game counter on AC Origins, the 36 hours I put into it felt much longer at the end of it all.

I’m not saying it’s bad, but there was a point where I felt I had seen all I needed to see, and then there was six more hours of story missions, and I kind of just wanted it to be over.

When you’re in the thick of it, playing the game, it’s exceptionally fun.

I’m still really glad I played it. Bayek is one of my favorite characters from this year. Excellently done, and an Egyptian protagonists added to my list of favorite characters in games is pretty fucking rad I think.

What Remains of Edith Finch

I played through all of this this past week, in what was meant to be breakout sessions, but ended up being one big long session.

VERY GOOD. I loved the vignette style storytelling, I liked the premise, and above all, I loved exploring this big old house with tons of secrets in it.

It’s very much my jam, but the bond between mechanics and storytelling in this game is pretty excellent.

Assassin’s Creed 3

Sigh. Don’t ask.

Skyrim VR

My brother recently got a whole new setup for himself, including a 4K TV, a PS4 Pro, which I set up for him today, and a PlayStation VR. He went on vacation starting yesterday and gave me free reign to play around with it as I’d like.

All I really did was play the tutorial of Skyrim VR, which was... odd.

I don’t know how I feel about movement in that game, but generally I really liked seeing that game from a first person perspective, experiencing the different control sets.

I was sitting on the floor in front of the TV kind of just waving my arms around though, so it wasn’t what I’d call the full experience. Maybe with more time I’ll be able to come to an actual opinion.

I will say, holding my arms out stretched in either direction and blasting fire in one direction and lightening in the other was fucking sweet.

Questions

As always, if you’d like to ask your question and be a part of the Sunday Chats conversations, look for any of my tweets on Sundays with the hashtag #SundayChats and respond with your question!

Next week I will be asking a question, and I already have it in mind, so I won’t be taking questions next week. There seems to be some confusion on this, but just look for the tweet and I try and explain it there.

Goddammmit hahaha.

Okay. Well, I would probably do the L in my first name. Then I’m A Walrus Ex, which implies I am the ex-walrus, or ex-partner of someone, who just so happens to be a Walrus. Now, there is a lot of potential here if we dig a bit deeper. I could replace the “ill” in the part of my last name and be Alex One Walrus. Which you could then punctuate differently, like “Alex, One Walrus”. Hey, why not throw in a question mark there just for fun!

Alex, One Walrus? PLEASE?

Now I know that isn’t in the spirit of the question, you did specify, Steven, that I’d have to replace just one letter of my name, but if you’re gonna sit here and send me some weird questions I am about to say come into this play space and play with me.

Play with me - Griffin McElroy, 2017.

Boy does this thicken the plot up pretty well ey.

I mean I don’t think I’d want to kiss a minion, but if it was one of those princess and the frog situations, a classic pull, I know, I’d kiss a minion square on the lips to see if he or she turned into a beautiful princess or prince.

Think about it, if you were cursed to live in the body of a disgusting, banana yellow, horror side-show creature, straight out of American Horror Story, you’d want someone, anyone, to just come release you from that prison before you know, you get acclimated and start living that life the only way you can: one butt joke at a time.

Ups and downs, ya know? Easily the best weekend of my life happened in this year, ExtraLife 2017, which is both an accomplishment, a look back at the road I’ve taken, and (hopefully) a preview of the opportunity and accomplishment that is yet to come. It was incredible.

On the other side of that is the summer of this year, which saw my worst depression since I first had it in 2012. A lot of factors caused this, but it really put such a hold on some of the things I was working on.

2017 was also the year after launched Alex Talks, and in the calendar year of 2017, I’ve only put up one episode of it. I’ve barely worked on video at all this year, in fact. It’s a year I have to live in the shadow of that accomplishment.

It’s been a great year for video games, for media, and a terrible one for the world at large, for the rights of many people who don’t get any benefit of the doubt. One that has taught me a lot about the bad parts of empathy, and one that has really reformed my perspective.

There is another post for this, with a more complete thoughts, but:

it’s had its ups and downs.

I’m exceptionally lucky that I have friends who fit into all four houses, all of which I love.

I think the house stuff is played up in the book, and I bet if you asked JK today, she’d say she regrets making some of them as villainous as they appeared. But also that was reflective of ‘91-98 of Hogwarts, and in my heart of hearts, I believe things changed after the battle of ‘98.

(See: if you didn’t know how much of a Harry Potter nerd I was before, casual Sunday Chats reader, strap in)

Slytherin gets the worst rap. But tenaciousness and cunning and a sly nature don’t mean you’re a bad person. You’re the person that sticks up for your friend that doesn't stick up for themselves, and gets back. Hard. Maybe things get taken to far, but the Slytherin is the person that takes the action, that punches the Nazi, because they don’t fuck with that.

Hufflepuff gets a terrible reputation! Hufflepuff is great. One word: loyalty. Honor. Diggory told Harry how to get into the Egg in the 4th book because he had the honor to do so. Loyalty to the people you love. You care about. Honor to say what needs to be said. You’re not the leader, but you’re the person the leader trusts the most.

Ravenclaw. Cocky and over enthused. Often seen as a little haughty. But The thirst to seek knowledge is a gift and a curse, and those are the bad parts. What about the longing to teach, to challenge, to instill that knowledge in others? The Ravenclaw is the tactician, the hacker and the brains in the heist. They’re the Rise and the Futaba of the group, to use a Persona reference.

Gryffindor. Cockier, thick headed, stubborn, and not the least bit a little sensitive to their house being undercut, eh? But it’s because Gryffindor wants to be the best. They want to stare the dragon in the face. They want to lead the charge, the be the support beam for everyone, to be the one everyone turns to. They want to be brave, and that’s very important. The Gryffindor is also the person that punches the Nazi, because they don’t fuck with that either.

But take a step back. If you would rather sit and argue over whose house is the best, and believe that one is only full of bad people, and another isn’t, you missed the whole point of the books. You fucked up. Congrats.

It’s not about what divides us, it’s about those differences encouraging us to come together. A lesson that everyone should hold near and dear in their hearts today.

And...

Sigh.

I’ll admit this here. I’ve always proported to be a Ravenclaw, but I’ve taken the test that Pottermore, the most official source, put together, twice. Neither time was I sorted into Ravenclaw.

The first time? Gryffindor.

The second? Hufflepuff.

So take that what you will. Maybe I’m not a Ravenclaw after all.

Maybe I am a Hufflepuff. And all that shit everyone talked about Hufflepuff was about me. How does that make you feel, reader? Maybe have a bit of empathy for the ‘Puffs.

...

Or maybe I’d have asked the sorting hat to put me in Ravenclaw instead of either of them. That’s what I’d like to think.

It was good! It was very relaxed, I ate a responsible amount of food, got some good leftovers, and hopefully can make some good leftover turkey grilled cheese, because that shit is so good.

And I’m alright. I’m really tired. I feel you on the hard to think of good questions. Sunday Chats is always fun because it’s brain food for thought provoking stuff. It’s a lot of fun to throw together, and I try and have a good time with the questions.

But yes. Very tired. Very much enjoyed my day off today.

I have actually fallen off the bandwagon completely. But that’s normal for me. Anime is a thing that comes and goes in my heart. Regardless though, I want to catch up on MHA and maybe sit down and watch something good soon. I’m just... a bit drained of that anime optimism at the moment.

1. I don’t think they’re BS, honestly. I think you just have to take a step back and look at what they are: a bunch of outlets blindly voting things into categories, and then voting again on what they think should win. Each outlet no doubt respects their own deliberations far more, and that’s really how it should. But as a reflection of a bunch of blind votes? Man it’s just like Metacritic, it’s not 100% accurate nor should it be responsibly for some game developer’s “bonus”, but it’s a metric that we can use to gauge a wider audience.

I’m actually really interested in the conversation around PUBG for GOTY and how the Game Awards took that nomination themselves.

2. It’s going alright. There have been a lot more conversations because I’m trying to get the writing team really involved this year. Hopefully they can spearhead some written guest top 10s, in place of the podcasts. And obviously what I said above. Trying not to get too exhausted doing stuff on it this year though.

3. Hah! It’s not bad. i was annoyed at first because everyone did there “omg here is my 280 characters tweet” and that was just dumb. But it’s proven to be a much better way to get a complete thought into a tweet, with proper grammar at least. I’m curious what threads and stuff will look like with it going forward. Already seen some that I really liked.

4. Dressing, foooooor sure. Fuck stuffing.

Alex died peacefully under the weight of 120 people, crashing boxes down on him, as he quietly pleaded, “I’m just trying to help.”

Happy Thanksgiving Brandon!

Yeah I’ve definitely had great pockets of time. Honestly a lot of the events this year (PAX East, and ExtraLife), for the most part, have been really great. Things going off without a hitch. There are always issues, but sometimes it’s just water off the back.

But there have been times when I just take a couple days off and chill, and it’s just about getting lost in whatever you’re working on, or enjoying, or playing, and that’s the best for me. Some nice alone time. But I guess I can’t think of anything specific...

Hrm, I’ll get back to you if I do.

I nice wrapped burrito, because it has a good weight, it’s solid, and if you hit someone hard enough with it, it’ll explode food all over them.

It’s essentially the grenade of the food fight.

God this is such a good fucking question.

Like, think about the pizza slice, hot and fresh, just slapping up against someones fucking raw back, and slowly sliding down. Why a person, any person, wouldn’t be wearing a shirt in a food fight, well I don’t know.

But that image popped in my head.

And here we are Jon. Here we are.

Man found dead in his three story house, bags flooded all over the scene.

First responders, disgusted, harkened it back to the first murder in the movie “Se7en”. Kevin Spacey has not been seen since the incident.

Victims body exploded from within under the weight of, what the note adjacent to the body referred to as, “endless burritos. right here. why would I ever stop.”

Police are still investigating.

In short, you’d fucking know if they did Trevor.

I still haven’t really had the time to read as much as I’d like, I’ve actually been reading a lot of writing that has been sent to me, specifically for me to edit. Which is exciting! But it’s not exactly good to put on display here, per sé. But I’m working on stuff, and today is my 991st day of writing, if anyone was curious.

I plan on stopping writing everyday when I hit 1000, as I’ve said before, but we’ll see if I don’t pick it up again soon after.

Anyway, that’s a conversation for next week.

Until then,

keep it real.

[hotspotsmagazine]

‘Patti Cake$’ Breakout Star Talks Gay Role Struggles

Danielle Macdonald has something to slay. Of course, there’s her coming-of-age film Patti Cake$, which the 26-year-old Aussie actress crushes with credible virtuosity during her entire scenery-chewing run as an aspiring rapper, Killa P, working hard to beat the odds. The indie premiered to critical acclaim at Sundance and subsequently propelled the newcomer to Hollywood’s ones-to-watch list. But Macdonald, who earned minor screen cred for starring in Ryan Murphy property, such as Glee and American Horror Story, is busting out in a big, gay way.

Meet Macdonald here, and check out what she had to say about the message she hopes her new film conveys to the LGBT community and the drag queens who play a major role in her upcoming film with Jennifer Aniston, Dumplin’.

You’re credited as “Girl No. 1” on an episode of Glee. What was your experience being on that show?

It was my first-ever TV credit. It got me my SAG card! So, I’m super grateful for it. I’d done one short film before that, but aside from that, it was my first big set experience. It was a lot of fun, honestly. Everyone was really great and super welcoming.

Who’s everyone? Did you get to meet Ryan Murphy?

I did not get to meet Ryan Murphy, which is funny because I’ve done Glee and American Horror Story and I’ve not met him yet. I never do his episodes, apparently! (Laughs)

But the producers and the writers and whole crew were really great, but then I was also working with Dianna Agron, Cory Monteith and Ashley Fink. It was a really cool experience, actually. I had so much fun that day. It was in the episode “Born This Way.” I loved that episode. It was the only hour-and-a-half-long episode they ever did, and it was about loving yourself.

Similarly, Patti Cake$ is about embracing yourself. Does that message of authenticity resonate with you?

Definitely. I think you just have to own who you are and love who you are because, I mean, it’s your life. I think that a lot of people can relate to Patti who you wouldn’t necessarily think would. When I first read the script, I was like, “Oh my god, she is so different from me; this is gonna be so hard.” It was because I had to learn a lot of things to be able to become her, but after I looked deeper, I kind of stopped myself and said, “Let’s go through it again,” and I really do relate to her in a lot of ways. It’s a coming-of-age story, and about figuring out who you are, and that can be really hard for a lot of people.

WATCH:

Was it hard for you?

Yes and no. I think I’m quite a stubborn person, so that helps (laughs). I’ve always owned who I am and been fairly comfortable in my own skin, and it’s definitely gotten easier with age – that’s a shock. As a teenager you can’t help but have your insecurities – I mean, everyone has them – but I always had good people around me; that helps so much.

Were some of those people gay people?

It’s funny, because growing up, no! I don’t think there was anyone who was out in my year in high school, which is astounding to me because there were in other years, just not in my year. That was really kind of crazy. I know that that’s not the case anymore. I know that’s changed and some of the people I was friends with definitely have come out since.

Why do you think you didn’t have many gay friends? Australia seems progressive, aside from the fact that they’re still not on board with marriage equality.

Which is actually creepy because by far the majority of the population want it, which is the most insane thing. It absolutely blows my mind that it hasn’t happened yet. There’s been a lot of changes in government since I moved away. I moved away seven years ago and I think we’ve gone through five prime ministers or something. It’s been pretty crazy there, like topsy-turvy with that. And I think that has something to do with it. But it’s gotta happen.

It wasn’t a thing when I grew up. My parents had gay friends, so that was completely normal to me, always. The moment I moved to L.A., oh yeah, definitely. I was like, “Yeah, these are my people.” My best friends are gay, my managers are. They’re like family. I feel very at home and comfortable with them.

How often do gay men ask you if you personally know and have had tea with fellow Aussie Kylie Minogue?

I mean, the first time I met my manager – he didn’t ask me if I knew her, but he was like, “I love Kylie Minogue,” and I was like, “Of course you do. Kylie is awesome.” I haven’t actually been asked if I personally know her. I definitely do not personally know her; that would make me far too cool.

What was the most challenging part of inhabiting Patti?

I mean, when I first read her I didn’t understand the world she comes from because I grew up in a very different place. It was a different accent, a different culture. She was interested in different things than me, different relationships with her family, friends; just everything about her that she experienced was different. But then, I also was like, “OK, wait a minute; she’s a girl that is trying to fit into an industry that she doesn’t fit into.” Naturally, I can relate to that. I can relate to her passion and the drive and the love that she has for her friends and family. Those were all things I could relate to. But then I had to learn to walk differently and talk differently and rap and experience New Jersey – get that vibe – so that it felt second nature.

Did you have any female rappers in mind while playing her?

I definitely listened to a bunch. When I was going through the process of really trying to learn how to rap, I listened to so many people. I practiced everyone. Some of the female artists were Nicki Minaj, Missy Elliott and Leikeli47, and also a lot of up-and-coming female rappers that I found on YouTube. Sometimes friends would send me links, sometimes I would just Google “rap battles between female rappers” and it was really cool to watch those. But I tried a lot of different songs by a lot of different artists – both male and female – to see the kind of badass boss attitude that they have. I was like, “OK, yeah, they have this confidence that I don’t think I have.” When I was getting up on stage, I was like, I don’t know if I have the confidence to do this because also you have to be confident in a skill that you don’t know, which is really intimidating, but it was also very freeing.

ur not worthy

#patticakes pic.twitter.com/oL36IpJn5g

— PattiCake$ (@PattiCakesMovie) August 15, 2017

In the film, Patti is empowered through daydreams she has of O-Z, her rap idol. What was your musical escapism growing up?

As a teenager, it was a lot of emo and punk rock. I listened to a lot of Blink 182, Green Day, Good Charlotte and Sum 41. The lyrics are very depressing, but it’s what you relate to as a teenager. As a teenager, you’re like, “They get me!”

Have you played a gay role yet?

I’ve auditioned for a bunch! I don’t think I have, though, which is kind of crazy. I don’t know why I never get them! (Laughs)

What about those roles spoke to you?

I mean, they’re just human beings with stories. I like seeing people with real stories, that is really what appeals to me. That’s what appealed to me about Patti Cake$ as well. I don’t feel like we see this story very often. And that’s generally how I feel. I don’t wanna see something that we always see – I wanna see a story about a real person and their real struggles.

You’ll be working with director Anne Fletcher and Jennifer Aniston on Dumplin’, another female-focused film. What does it mean to you to be a part of female-driven films?

I’m so excited about that. I’ve been fortunate to work with a lot of female filmmakers and really just a lot of strong women, which is amazing. And I’m really excited about Dumplin’ as well because these characters learn how to be strong through drag queens. It’s based on a book and they go to a bar and learn empowerment from these drag queens and how to get through this beauty pageant.

How are you feeling about going to makeshift drag bars when it comes time to shoot?

I’m so excited about that. I was like, “Yes! This is everything I want.” I’ve read the book and I relate to this so much. I feel like this is gonna be almost cathartic to me in a way because it’s something I would’ve really loved to see as a teenager growing up. It speaks to teenage me.

Going back to Patti Cake$, what do you hope LGBT people take away from the movie?

I hope that they take away self-empowerment. People will try to put you in a box, but do your own thing and people will love you for it.

As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. Reach him via his website at chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/09/06/patti-cake-breakout-star-talks-gay-role-struggles/

[viralhottopics]

Susan Sarandon: ‘Its an easy place to put your frustrations, to blame me’

The actor discusses playing Bette Davis in the new small-screen drama Feud and why shes tired of people criticizing her for refusing to support Hillary Clinton

Susan Sarandon is here to talk about a much-publicized feud between two successful women. But, as the Oscar-winning actor and activist had made crystal clear the week before I spoke to her, during a tense interview on MSNBCs All In, shes not interested in talking about that feud.

Rather than yet another over-analysis of her role in Hillary Clintons shock election loss, shed rather turn the discussion to talk of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, two women also pitted against each other, this time in 1960s Hollywood. In Feud: Bette and Joan, the latest FX show from Ryan Murphy, creator of American Horror Story and American Crime Story, the intricacies of their famed battle are brought to vibrant life with Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford and Sarandon playing Davis. Its a fun, snappy eight-episode behind-the-scenes reveal (the next season will focus on the feud between Prince Charles and Princess Diana) and provides a worthy reminder of the destructive influence that meddling men had in tearing the two women apart.

This is a really blatant example of trying to control two people by making sure they dont join forces, she tells me on the phone, dog yapping in the background. I think that mentality and lack of imagination you can see in all the reality shows. Thats the entirety of their plots: just turning women against each other and getting them drunk so that something dramatic happens, even if its a fight over nothing. Its always easier, I think, to suck people into drama when its negative as opposed to something thats constructive.

Susan Sarandon as Bette Davis and Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford in Feud: Bette and Joan. Photograph: FX

If thered been a Real Housewives of Hollywood in the early 60s, Bette and Joans on-set sparring while making Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? would have made for a ratings magnet. There was a pay dispute, nastiness in gossip columns, petty pranks and even physical violence. But over 50 years later, the business is different: studios no longer own stars in the way they once did and women are making headway towards equality. Competition is not what it once was.

I think that happened just in my generation, Sarandon says. I see examples of actresses just a little bit ahead of me who really saw women as their enemy and had no intention of forming any kind of alliance. Now, thats certainly not true. You might be envious of a part you didnt get but its switched to understanding that you need women as allies and that were stronger together, not divided.

Its an ethos thats been reflected throughout her career, with roles in a number of Bechdel test-smashing films, including The Witches of Eastwick, Thelma and Louise, Little Women, Stepmom and last years acclaimed comeback vehicle The Meddler. Shes also been keen to work with more female directors, having recently worked with a set of them on the production of Feud, but one area of equality that shes less sure about is that awkward matter of who gets paid what.

I dont think it matters that Jennifer Lawrence is paid 70 times more than what I am, she says. Its a business that is so subjective and I feel so lucky to be able to earn a living, and this is why to go after pay equality is a really chancy subject because if Tom Cruise has a leading lady thats in the movie as much as he is, should she get the same amount of money if shes been in the business a shorter amount of time? And should a character actor thats been in the business for 50 years not get paid more? Its a sin what happens to these supporting actors through the years where they can barely exist on the pay they get. Theres no equity in terms of value, and who knows how these decisions are made. So you cant apply that to feeling unfair because the whole fact that actors get paid as much as we do is ridiculous. I mean, what a fabulous life. I cant bitch about whatever my pay level is. I dont focus on that.

Susan Sarandon in The Meddler. Photograph: Sony

But as content as Sarandon seems, theres no denying that shes been frustratingly absent from the spotlight in recent years. Shes not stopped working but more often shes been taking on small, little-seen roles. Its not simply a dearth of scripts for women of a certain age in the industry, its also Sarandon being understandably picky. Unlike many other Oscar-winning female actors, shes resisted the urge to take on thankless roles in franchise fodder. She chose not to play the doomed female president in last years Independence Day: Resurgence (When I read the script, I couldnt understand what was going on) and the only sequel youll see her in any time soon is John Turturros Big Lebowski spin-off (something she calls a crazy film that she still cant believe they got the money for).

After the success of Thelma and Louise, many thought it would be a game-changer, showing Holly-bros that theres a sizable audience for a film about female friendship but as Bridesmaids has since shown, these hits are often seen as unlikely exceptions and fail to cause the seismic shift predicted. I think that a woman can look at a story that has a male protagonist and can identify that she could do that or be in that situation, she says. But I think its harder for male executives to imagine that anybody is really gonna get into a female lead because its hard for them to imagine. I dont think its meant to be a mean thing, I just think its a lack of imagination.

Its meant that, while shes starred in a number of aforementioned female-fronted films, shes still been paired mostly with men throughout her career. Its been a generally harmonious time, but Sarandon recalls the closest shes got to having a Bette v Joan situation. There was one gentleman, she says. He hadnt really done films, I dont think, and he was in the midst of a very successful TV run and was a heart-throb. There were definitely some problems and hed developed some habits, because in the atmosphere where he was working, he wasnt used to women challenging him in any way and was spoiled by the rules that they set up. At one point, they allowed him to leave on my reverse at the end of the day, so I was suddenly expected to do my lines with the script supervisor and him gone for my close-up.

She wont give me a name but she counts it as a rare occurrence. I dont thrive on tension or any kind of aggression, she says. But its an unavoidable part of the job, especially, depressingly, for a woman who chooses to speak her mind. While men might still be seen as brave and refreshing, women who speak out are still often painted as difficult or bitchy. Sarandon knows this all too well.

I think it is more annoying to have a woman with opinions for a lot of people, she says. I couldnt give you any solid proof that has hurt my chances in the business. Today in the New York Times, they were talking about the Academy awards and the fact that I was one of the people who didnt get a nomination for The Meddler, and [it] mentions that it might have something to do with the Clintonized Hollywood, when I supported Bernie Sanders.

Bernie Sanders and Susan Sarandon in April 2016. Photograph: Brian Snyder / Reuters/Reuters

Which brings us to the elephant in the room (or over the phone). Sarandon was a vocal supporter of Sanders as he ran against Clinton to become the Democratic pick for president. When he lost out on the nomination, she expressed her frustration and publicly endorsed the Green candidate Jill Stein instead, stating that she did not vote with her vagina. She had previously called Clinton more dangerous than Trump.

I have had a huge amount of backlash, she says. Theres been a really strong blame for a lot of things that are obviously not my fault.

A cursory scan of Twitter shows a stream of bile all the way from the Will & Grace star Debra Messing to the author Kurt Eichenwald. Sarandon remains defiant, unapologetic and frustrated with Democrats who suggest that shes let the party down.

Theres no valid argument, she says. Its just an easy place to put your frustrations, to blame me. I mean, if you read the list of people who voted Hillary Clinton and then I think its me and Viggo Mortensen on the other side. Youd have to be delusional to actually think that Beyonc and Jay Z and George Clooney and Julia Roberts and Meryl Streep, and the list goes on, were actually overpowered by the two of us.

But shes unperturbed, still hyper-aware of the daily failings of Trumps government. And despite resistance, shes continuing to show up at Democratic events, such as a recent anti-Trump rally in New York. Im focusing on reaching out and forming a coalition not only with all of Hillarys people but with people I know that voted for Trump, because we have serious work to do now, and we cant indulge in blaming or depression or any of those things, she says. There isnt time any more to look back. We have to look forward.

Feud begins on FX on 5 March at 10pm with a UK broadcaster yet to be confirmed

Read more: http://bit.ly/2mnLjtT

from Susan Sarandon: ‘Its an easy place to put your frustrations, to blame me’