#and also because yknow its swiss

[consciousexe]

so I finally finished watching Let there be carnage and TELL ME WHY THERE IS A PAPA COSPLAYER IN THE RAVE

[fisherrprince]

aight

medium cheddar: extremely hit or miss. my favorite brand is tillamook and im not biased about it. great to just munch on though, it's not really a cheese that wants or needs anything else. good base ingredient for like a grilled cheese. perfectly average 6/10.

sharp cheddar: i love extra sharp cheddar i love you looong aged white sharp cheddar FANTASTIC snack and best with some sweet apples or something. Needs a cracker or bread or some sweeter snack on the side. coastal cheddar from costco is good but can be a bit too sharp with lots of crystallization. 9/10. 

mozzarella: ok i dont like tillamook for this one. too dry. mozzarella is really not a cheese i like to eat by itself, i'm not a cheese stick fan and i really dislike the texture of wet mozzarella balls, but when it's good melted ON stuff it's good on stuff. 7/10 grilled pizza cheese pull

pepperjack: this is THEEEE cheese to grate for a recipe and sneak like 20 bites of the grated cheese. little pepper bits in there. I don't enjoy eating slices of it though. 7/10

parmesan: you cant go wrong with a little parma jawn............. best as a little accent on top of stuff. just makes whatever you're cooking a lil tastier. Not my favorite when the whole thing tastes of just parmesan though, it's kinda bitey. 8/10

cottage cheese: i cant stand cottage cheese. The texture is nasty and the combo of the texture with the flavor is nastier. 1/10

gruyere: french. INCREDIBLE on potatoes and in fondue and in little bits to snack on. Not an eating by itself cheese often but it doesnt have to be. I'd eat this grated on top of kinda anything savory. 9/10

gouda: i get this mixed up with gruyere all the time, but gouda is a bit harder and sweeter. a good salami cheese for your charcuterie. you see smoked gouda a lot which if thats YOUR deal thats cool but i dislike the taste of smoked things. 7/10

blue cheese: really really good cheese that is stymied by not going with a lot of stuff and not being super good to just eat on its own. it's a SHARP taste that gets in your nose. gorgonzola specifically is so good with pears and arugula except I'm mildly allergic to pears. BEST with steak gimme dat blue cheese butter STEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! would be 9/10 if it were not so particular. 7/10.

feta: bit of a weird texture but it makes salads and gyros ROCK so. it gets a pass. not that fancy on its own but i really do like it in a salad. 6/10. 

cream cheese: YEAAAAHHHHH BAGELLLLSSSS 9/10 i love bagels. also makes other dishes creamy (best part of cheese)

manchego: best with salami. not that impressive on its own, but that's because it's a harder cheese you eat with salami. 5/10, elevates meat but the meat does not elevate it

brie: somehow airplane brie is better than normal brie??? i don't eat this cheese unless it's on an airplane meal fr. which means i hardly ever eat brie. kinda weird tasting. 4/10

camembert: miraculous ladybug hyped me up for this cheese and i bought some and must have done it wrong or something because it doesn't smell and hardly tasted different from brie. I want to try it again so bad because gooey cheeses are like drool-worthy to me. hesitant 3/10 for being a disappointment

asiago: yknow an asiago bread is pretty good but ive never had asiago cheese on its own! 6/10? umami

cotija: BIG FAN of cotija. pile that stuff on my tacos thank you. i dont have the same problems as i do with feta maybe because you grate or crumble cotija real small in comparison? havent had it on anything but a taco though. 8/10 

goat cheese: also a big fan of goat cheese. you can fry it and its good, and you can put it in pasta and its good, you can eat it with crackers and it's good... not really good with meat, but it's sharper so that makes sense to me. 8/10 again

swiss cheese: i never really liked swiss cheese. unless its on my sandwich. OR! unless it's like specifically emmentaler and it's in my fondue. 4/10

provolone: SAME goes for provo LONE. makes french dip really good though, and is one of the classic salami cheeses. this is because it needs salt. 5/10 better than swiss

edam: this is babybel cheese, right? it's fine. good for snacking not for eating a lot of. 7/10

colby jack: this is literally cheddar but not. id rather have cheddar 5/10

ricotta: controversially, i love ricotta... it doesnt have a lot of flavor which makes eating it by itself unpleasant. HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!! in lasagne..? on top of sourdough with salt and garlic? in a kolache with jam?? i lvoe ricotta. i wish it didn't go bad so fast. or maybe it came in smaller packages. 8/10

american cheese: the only place this thing shines is ON BURGER. where it SHOULD BE, KIND OF ALWAYS. or on a bacon egg and cheese. those are the two places you always want american. situationally 8/10 but usually 4/10 i dont want it anywhere else

muenster: the best part of eating muenster cheese is eating the little slice that always seems to come off the edge when you take it out the package. otherwise it's a perfectly serviceable mild cheese, melts well, 6/10.

pecorino romano: like, parmesan's sharper saltier more fashion-forward cousin. use this in moderation imo it really has a Big Taste to it, but it makes carbonara nummy, 7/10

paneer: i have not HAD... paneer... but it LOOKS like it would be tasty. withholding judgement. 

gournay: i love those little boursin rounds you can just get at the store with the garlic and herbs. soft, savory, good on crackers 9/10

infused flavor cheeses: these are usually fresh cows milk cheeses that have like some kinda flavor or spice on them or rolled into them. All depends on the flavoring. The base cheese itself is usually real mild and creamy though, and I have good experiences with it! Also goes bad a bit fast though. Variable/10

theres other cheeses out there but i just realized ive been talking about cheese for a LOOONG TIIIMMMEEE. i like cheese though. big fan of it. if u think of some other cheese you really want an opinion on i will readily tell you

[acheronist]

things that are the detroit red wings to me

industrial revolution production lines

whitewall tires (covered in scuff marks)

πτερόεντα πέδιλα

the crinkled up paper wrappers of a bandaid that got forgotten on the bathroom counter

joseph campbell's hero with a thousand faces (1949)

when you see stray bird feathers on the ground in a circle in a park and you realize clearly a smaller bird got divebombed + murdered there by a larger bird

tentacle porn. (see also: fried calamari appetizers at a sports bar)

being taught when you're ten years old not to tuck your thumb when you throw a punch

looking at pictures of your great grandparents when they were your age and recognizing your own face

cutting your own hair with crafting scissors

i bet on losing dogs dot _ mitski dot mp4

being hungover in an arby's at 11am on a wednesday

potholes that are trying to become sinkholes

knowing that the tapwater is poison but like, what else can you do, yknow?

waking up with nosebleeds just because the winter air is too dry

shirts or skins pond hockey when its -35f

wearing tinted unflattering sunglasses that dont match the fit

after the threesome they both take you home by sue hyon bae

the solidarity between you and a mean looking girl from across the sally beauty supply aisle but both of you are shopping for hair dye

swiss army knife

when there are tiles on the wall AND the tiles are pale blue / teal / green colored

when u wear carhartt and no one can tell if you're forklift certified or just an artist

[piercedpressure]

hi please tell me about your witch of stories I wanna cry

CYD!! remember deja? yeah thats her! a witch of stories (or a storyteller), where their main responsibility is gathering stories in any way they can and spreading it around, and because of how stories can go on for eons and such, they could basically live for an extremely long time. shes a tough cookie and often gives people who she doesnt trust a cold shoulder, and is also very stubborn.....

she lives in a post-apocalyptic world where theres strange beasts and nature kind of. swallows a lot of the ruins now... she was in a community of storytellers but was cast out (or she left, its vague for a while) and throughout her story, she basically tries to find a community she can call home and actually feel welcome in :')

she has a cool machete that can be used as a torch, a way to cut through things, fighting monsters, a mirror that can see the unseen, and it kind of is like a wand in a way! if a swiss army knife was a wand yknow. the machete never oxidizes, but it does need to be sharpened every now and then. i could talk about her for ages but i wouldnt wanna like. take up a lot of the dashboard cause she means so much to me DJSDH

[ohsh-arat]

Domestic (Head)canons

Note: ahhhh very first post headcanons/canon post of my ocs because I love them! Lowkey this helps me remember little things about them since my brain is rusty as hell (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`) also there’s a lot of silly canons and some involve with reader <3

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— Kunio Omezo —

☀︎︎ As an assassin, he’s been going through missions to missions nonstop; but the thing is with him, if you text him ‘there’s no food at home’; straight up Door Dash to your front door all bloody,,, while holding bag of fast foods in hand. A mission wouldn’t stop him from bringing you food.

☀︎︎ Kunio has the habit to switch from English to Japanese when he’s frustrated. But when he’s really pissed off he would really bring out his native language and sprinkle in English in the most aggressive way (But he mostly a cool head man so no need to worry about him).

☀︎ ︎But if he ends up being frustrations or depress, he would workout or bake right at home. He tried drawing and painting but that ended horribly for him since he can’t do artsy stuff (just for experience yknow?).

☀︎ He has this habit where he would fiddle his thumbs together when he’s excited. It’s honestly cute because a cold and deadly assassin with a stoic demeanor, fiddling his thumbs just out of excitement.

☀︎︎ Highkey enjoys his hair getting all ruffled up. Just the feeling of someone just semi aggressive rubbing his head makes him oddly relax in a way. But also slow head strokes would make him melt even more (bonus if he ‘purrs’).

☀︎︎ Kunio… Oh Kunio… he has a thing for fluffy things (but in secret). Wondering where he went? Just check the bedroom and congratulation! You found him in a cocoon of extra fluffy blankets. But once he walks up seeing you stand there in amaze and awe, he would be very embarrassed.

☀︎︎ “you better not tell anyone about this...”

☀︎︎ He got himself the best voice when it comes to singing, I mean he loves to sing though he’s a little embarrassed to do it in front of others. But he’s 100% down to sing you to sleep!

☀︎︎ His skin care routine is unbeatable, he spends more time in the bathroom way more than probably any guys. He likes to make himself look presentable and just having the slightest bump would irritate the crap out of him. So if you or anyone walk into the living room seeing Kunio on the couch just sitting there his hair slicked back with those headbands and clay mask on his face; he would look honestly unfazed for someone walking in.

☀︎︎ Kunio was thinking about owning a pet but… it was proven difficult because of his job as an assassin so he subsitute that idea with a house plant instead! He owns a aloe vera plant and monstera deliciosa (Swiss cheese plant). He named them Alen (Aloe) and Wendy (Swiss) for fun.

☀︎︎ He has a very strong sweet tooth, his favorite sweets are mochi! (A bonus if they’re animal shaped mochi because it’s a very special memory connected to his mom). He could go on for days eating sweets after sweets but he rather avoid diabetes.

☀︎︎ But hey, it you like sweets as well then say less, Kunio would drop some store bought sweets from your favorite local shop or even homemade sweets from him!

☀︎︎ Kunio wouldn’t consider himself the best cook but just hanging out and cook together would make him happy. But when it comes to baking, oh man you summoned the baking god. Seriouly though, he grew up baking sweets and treats with his mom so don’t be surprised to see some cute bakery sweets come out all great looking!

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— Owen Fitzgerald —

☀︎︎ Owen a big ass cuddle bug, I mean he loves hugging people in general but just cuddling— it makes him so giddy inside (imagine a dog wagging its tail)

☀︎︎ He own one of those soft LED animal night light as a source of light for reading and having a friend as well! (His little friend is a LED Dino that can changes colors)

☀︎︎ When he was introduce to snacks like gold fish, pringles, pocky, gummy bears, etc. he became addicted; just discover a stash of snacks under his coat or even hoodies (if he switch to casual attire) and he’ll start sprinting to his room.

☀︎︎ “No! You are not taking my mini meals” *sprints off*

☀︎︎ Tech stuff obviously wasn’t a thing back in the 19th century, when he was introduced to futuristic, cutting edge technologies; it literally blew his brain into pieces (also fried some of his brain cells since explaining was covered under seconds). Couple months back when he discover Tik Tok, he can’t stop himself from being on that app and…. he accidentally got himself famous :)

☀︎︎ trashbin8 baby~ *wink wink*

☀︎︎ “🎤sawarasenai🥰kimi😸wa⛓shoujo👻na💅no✨böKù🌸Wâ🧚ÿARiçHiñ🤴BįCChī😾ńO😩oSû🚣Dà🎉YO💦”

☀︎ ︎Someone take Tik Tok away from him and don’t let him search up what the lyric mean ;nervous;

☀︎︎ No doubt Owen would be super invested in memes and will probably send either extremely wholesome or extremely curse memes at 3am because he loves you <3 (there’s no between).

☀︎︎ After spending weeks and weeks with his phone, he might have develop some a taste for lofi music. He couldn’t help himself but it really helped him read, write, or even just chilling.

☀︎︎ Talk about chilling, you would find him sitting outside on top of a roof and just soaking up the sunlight as the sun sets. Sometimes he’ll ask to join him and hey guess what, he bring snacks and drinks as well.

☀︎︎ Honestly loves tackling people for some reason (as a playful thing ofc) but he’s also ticklish as well ;eyes; if you get yourself in that situation, just tickle his waist and he’ll become a tea kettle. The more you tickle him the more he’ll laugh but also plea for mercy (and a bit of sobbing action).

☀︎︎ Tbh if you spare him... Owen would really say ’Peace was never an option’ and straight up tackle you again as a payback

☀︎︎ Owen reads old literature like A Study in Scarlet, Atlanta in Calydon, and The Ordeal of Richard Feverel. But he grew invested into reading manga, then later into watching Anime.

☀︎︎ ”This is way more entertaining than all the books i’ve been reading my entire life!?” *display the book as he flip through all the pages*

☀︎︎ what a chaotic man he is

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Note: I think I could do better but I’m too tired to think at the moment🏃🏻‍♀️💨

[unproduciblesmackdown]

weird to think back on things like the funky experience of being The All A’s/B’s gang and then The All A’s person during middle school and the Smart Kid designation cuz we all have a godawful time within the k-12 education system and also in Higher Education / academia as well and the setup isn’t like, good for anyone though natch between the “lack of attention / occasional positive attention” and “frequent / negative attention” ends of the experience the former is preferable; apparently weird to have been Good Student passing b/c again idk i have good retention and could memorize shit in homeroom for a quiz that day and that was great b/c actually i had godawful / nonexistent study habits and actually basically hated school and did anything last minute and all but like whatever, i could figure out / understand and remember shit more efficiently / faster than usual so like, idk, i’d get wild results ig. and anyways yeah Smart Kid throughout all of k-12 but like, although i don’t think i’m Not smart in any way, it’s like, but no i hated school and never really tried, that inferred correlation wasn’t there but like also there’s the weird Presumed Identity for you. and it Was weird b/c idk i was like, okay? “perpetually nebulous / imprecise / uncertain sense of identity” gang out here and i’m like hmm okay Am i “the good grades getter?” and then apparently you are cuz like welp that’s the Expectation, and also in my case i was also in the “oops let’s minimize ptsd party” gang of Gotta Get As/Bs motivation..............the point is like, it’s funny how despite that concept of what The A’s Getter is, by now i’m like oh but that’s not even like, my Main Thing, much less my Whole thing. my main thing is that i get wildly interested and passionate about stuff and when i’m really about shit i’m So about it and into it and all that yknow. and it’s like, would be cool if i hadn’t had to like, first fight past this arbitrary Assigned Box to even start to figure out what i’m Really like. but Schools aren’t out here about like allowing for people to be varied individuals and shit. plus, weirdly i’m not sure if i hadn’t had that “Positive” Label to supplant any others that my autistic ass would’ve been largely left alone as much as it generally was............even I didn’t get through middle school w/o some light bullying peppered in there but hey for the most part i got by. and like, i remember 15 was a time for a wild Agonizing Spike cuz that was the point i was having to try to settle on a college major and i was like bitch i don’t know!!! for starters how is every 19 / 20 y.o supposed to know!!! but like litchrelly a year and a half ago my ass was in middle school and barely had any opportunities to individually choose what to pursue, and even if i Had an interest i would sometimes assume if it didn’t seem like The Smart Kid choice i would just assume that like, my interest would only be Allowed to go so far. so yeah i’m 14-15 for the first time having a little breathing room and allowed to pick out my own shit and investigate various stuff (cuz of the luck of getting to live on campus aka parents are Not around and i can be around for more than just Classes) and yet like, that wasn’t enough time to suddenly Fully Realize The Whole Of My Own Identity And What My Actual Passions And Life Goals And Etc Are. plus i kinda remember that i figured i’d flunk out and so was kinda Not spending freshman year expecting to actually be able to do this college thing.....so yeah i always distinctly remember the Stress of sophomore year with this Timer counting down of “gotta declare a major oh god” and trying somehow to Realize What I’m Even Like (i did partially lmao outside of the Academic aspect of it) and obviously like, that’s a Lot.......................plus it was kind of doomed anyways cuz i do remember that when i even mentioned the fact of like “hey what if i majored in ______ [cuz i’m evidently actually like thinking social issues are what i’m thinking i could dedicate my attention to, i’m 15 idk trying to figure this shit out]” and it got immediately brushed off cuz of my mom’s assumptions about what i was like based on my being Smart(tm) and my not wanting to tell my parents about anything Actually about myself by that point so that was like..........well cool to know that that’s not an option for me anymore thanks to immediate dismissal........................like i totally remember that by sophomore year i was def Swiss Idol and “i don’t have a clue what to major in” was a big part of that 9_9...............and like, doing college early is kinda crazy but also Not having high school to mayyyybe figure things out for a bit before hurtling towards Declare Major at 92384 mph is like, would it have helped? who can say. but for example, i know Now i’m a theatre gay, and the limited number of friends-ish i made at college was basically all theatre gays what a surprise, but i myself didn’t ever touch that because i had No direct experience with it, because middle school didn’t have that extracurricular, and then being dropped into hs with people who did? i was like fuck i’m not auditioning for shit i really don’t know how to do. i’m not even Supposed To Be Here goddamn!! i can karaoke avpm in the first floor lounge that’s IT!! fuckin r.i.p. but i mean also i Know high school is it’s own fuckin mess that’s hardly like “flourish as individuals!!” all a sudden. like how i don’t know if i’d’ve been “solid B’s” gang if i would’ve had more room to just figure out my own shit earlier, or if things would’ve been even More miserable cuz of my replacement Type being something more frowned upon cuz weird loser was def waiting in the wings............and then of course Smart Kid expectation constraints wasn’t hardly the only issue in holding back that “oh wait but what am i like *Actually*” process cuz if i was in high school i would’ve been around my parents every day and That was just as much if not more a hindrance in figuring myself out. like going to college may have been useful in that yes i did learn shit but if nothing else i am glad for it b/c the strides i made in “god damn i have to get away from these people (my parents lmfao)” and knowing at least that i’m not Like what THEY thought i was like was E ssen tial Knowledge..........but anyhow like the point of looking back on this shit isn’t to figure out How To Have Run The Perfect Course cuz obviously what’s the point in imagining as broad a what-if, but it’s good for Understanding shit currently..........like oh yeah this crap probably Affected me!! and you gotta know the history to understand the present...............it’s just really wild how like, Passion and (rarely activated) Energy And Intense Interest is like, what i consider my Thing now, and that was like. not what i ever heard anyone else tell me that’s what i’m Like, like, ever basically. i mean not that i don’t think i’m Not smart. it’s just like, not my whole thing and it just kinda feels more incidental, right. What If the whole time i’d been able to pursue whatever i felt like is a wiiiiiiiild question i don’t even know. there’s been so Little of that that’s its absolutely off the shits to be able to put together “oh right i’ve been a theatre gay all along” and “actually i Have performed on stage a decent number of times and supremely thrived in those experiences and i Know i was interested cuz i wished like (@ my family: dni)” and have this very simple (and thus far unusable) Knowledge about something i actually like and am interested in, cuz for the most part it’s [??? ?? ? ?? ???]

on a shorter but related note: the Camaraderie i feel with everyone in the “either has or wants to or would even seriously consider Cutting Ties with parent/s" gang and like, always very Interested in the various experiences within this v broad category. cuz there are so many factors playing into Why you’re in this group and then there’s so many factors in regards to whether someone actually feels able to ditch a ‘rent or two, and then beyond that, all the factors in whether someone’s actually able to............like, knowing that it’s never “lucky” to have to be in this group in the first place, i fairly am Lucky about it in many ways cuz, first of all, lucky to have been able to actually execute [eff off from parents] maneuver, and lucky to get to Know that’s what i totally needed to do........we are all Valide in how we try to deal with relations w/ parents that are so bad you even have to think about “maybe i have to Not Have This Person In My Life At All” and like, when people are dealing with that but Don’t feel they have the option to truly cut that parent or two out of their life, that’s like, well as someone who once felt that way and can Empathize and yet also had these Factors Line Up which let me peace out which aren’t factors that are in play for everyone (as well as a lack of other factors which Are relevant for others and which might mean Leaving Behind Parent/s 5eva isn’t an option they’d consider) it’s like Oh wow, let me hear more about that experience. tldr the camaraderie

oh and ps. it’s funny how like, in my post-being-in-school life, i thiiiiiiiink people usually probably assume i’m Kinda Dumb if anything. cuz the Grades don’t exist anymore but i’m still autistic!!!!! which is another wild factor in thinking about like “well what if [some aspect of my life] had been entirely different, hmmm” cuz it’s like. well i’d’ve still been autistic lmao..............the Social shit has like, been an issue even before the other usual shit in school cuz i Knew i wasn’t fitting in at preschool when all we were doing was like, learning colors and going outside. and it always was a bit distressing to me Never really having more than a couple friends and even then not that close or anything, right? and also how i’d try to Fix this with various strategies and trying out different situations like “oh well i’m not putting myself out there i’ll put myself out there” [tries it and it half-backfires] or “well if i’m spending a weekend with people who know me from Online they’re gonna like me for sure” [majority of ppl in a sub Friend Group i’m peripheral to and i’m intermittently stressed the whole time] “Ah Fuck” lmao and honestly only recently am i like oh right..............when you’re autistic socializing just in a very fundamental way is really like That*.................(*a way i can’t easily explain lmao)............like really just in mad recent times kind of realizing like, oh, okay, i don’t think i can ever Adjust My Approach and just suddenly become good at Easily Makes Friends and that kind of shit..............finally just kinda realizing like ohh right okay i really just do Not do “normal good conversation” like you’re supposed to and that’s just chill The Way It Is not necessarily “not good enough at it” way but It Just Is Different way like........yeah it can be Not Pointless to try to modify your social approach and that’s true for absolutely anyone, but like say, if i’m like oh if i simply get Better at [social interaction task] i will then finally be Good at it, it’s like, shit well that’s honestly just not how it works for me. like, #getting how after a point it’s like “okay learning to do [task] in a way that’s more [like this] is maybe gonna be better for Masking / seeming allistic but like, not for Actually giving me a social experience that’s more fulfilling for Me.” Plus, it’s like, i’m also way more (or okay at least As Much) socially limited by external factors, probably. 

pps oh and also, tangentially related b/c Autistique, it’s wild how every time you delve into (something At All specific about autism) you’ll probably learn something Utterly new about autism which is like god damn this isn’t That niche why haven’t i heard this!! why do i have to know there are 538 other would-be “i should already know this” revelations waiting for me about this topic cuz you have to manage to dig up this stuff on your own and dodge all the unhelpful bullshit types of sites where it’s Not about info from people / for people who are autistic? please. it’s almost like this is a constant and important part of my identity that affects p much every aspect of my life and is helpful to hear others’ info about the collective experience of it b/c like, it’s literally all in your own head and you can’t just somehow Know the ways you’re different in that realm just from emergent traits you can pick up on and figure out. ugh!!!! anyways

this is LONG but NO readmore b/c eh. who am i if not [i hope everyone hates my blog this week.jpg] every week

[pulsingvoid]

8, 18, 24, 40, 42 and 71 for the movie buff thing. Sorry if it's a lot and Sorry about your ankle I hope you feel better soon~!

‘sorry if its a lot’ Are You Kidding Me Send Me More. and thanks!! im in a lot of pain!! but its fine!! anyway here i go, this got long and rambly, as is my nature,,

8. What movie are you looking forward to coming out the most?GRASSHOPPER JUNGLE dir. edgar wright even though it’s not even in pre-production yet as far as i know. also, since yesterday, LADY MACBETH which is coming out in the u.s. next month. oh and!! Atomic Blonde, Black Panther, A Wrinkle In Time, the Lupita/Rihanna movie…. so much potentially amazing cinema i cant wait

18. Favorite movie heroine? i think my all-time fave might be Rachel Weisz’s character in The Brothers Bloom. she’s just so enthusiastic and eccentric and yet Absolutely Not the dream girl sterotype at all, yknow? i love her. another more recent fave is Diane Lane’s character from Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains because she was so Harsh and did not waver for a second even though so many people (read: men) tried to discourage her from her goals or tried to tell her how she should live her life. i wish i’d seen that movie when i was a teen–it would have changed my entire life.

24. Movie that makes you cry every time?BIG HERO 6. literally. every. time. i’ve seen way sadder films but nothing tugs at my heartstrings the way that movie does for some reason

40. Directors you’d like to see work together?i thought abt this for a solid 10 minutes and couldnt come up with anything but then i remembered that my dream director duo is already a reality and its THE DANIELS (SWISS ARMY MAN) + THE RUSSOS (CA:TWS) and im p sure the russos are just producers but HEY IT COUNTS AND IT WILL BE AMAZING 

42. Films you wanted to watch, but never got around to watching?MOOD INDIGO, i have it on my hard drive but my mom told me it was super sad so now i’m scared. it’s michel gondry though so i’m inevitably gonna bite the bullet. THE COLOR PURPLE, also bc sadness. LAURENCE ANYWAYS bc i keep falling asleep? i always play it way late in the night idk something abt xavier dolan’s movies makes them a 3am #mood for me. theres pleeeeeenty more but these are the ones that plague my waking thoughts nowadays

71. A movie that made you ache for love.this doesnt specify what kind of love and im glad bc while i do actually enjoy the romantic plotlines of some movies i dont think a single one of them has ever made me Ache or Yearn. i do catch myself Yearning for a life full of laughter and friendship and made families and creativity; the sense of belonging, the Something More™. you know like in… THE GET DOWN (this scene in particular) :( and SENSE8 :(:( and B99 and TRC and i am very aware none of them are films but its not my fault movies abt friendship never cater to my interests. there’s specific bits in some movies like the funeral scene in Big Fish or some parts of August Rush and Across The Universe and Pride and Rent, or!!! that scene at the end of GoTG when Groot tears himself apart to protect the team and its so. beautiful, but also sad. oh and the Star Trek reboots, though flawed, give me similar ‘made family’ feelings and i cry everytim PLUS they have that Something More™ aspect bc duh, space exploration. but sadly i find most films abt friendship too boy-oriented either bc its a story about boyhood and has a tonne of male characters, or it has a Token Girl or two but its still too male-heavy, or bc its about women that are obsessed with their heterosexual love prospects, so i find it hard to relate to… all of that.

uhh consider this a plea for movie recs actually im kinda desperate for something to fill some gaping sense8/tgd/trc/b99-shaped holes in my heart bc, as you probably already know, 2 of them are cancelled, one is relatively over, and the other one is on a 5 month-long hiatus :-(

[buddyfaith]

I just failed an online quiz for class so I’m gonna do a longwinded character assessment that brittany reblogged for mama debeste to cheer myself up. feel free to challenge me on anything tbh.

1) I sort of like the idea that mama debeste was also a foster kid, but like- she’s 8 or so years removed from her foster siblings? like I don’t think there’s anyone in her age group to hang out with. I think she’s closest to the youngest brother? he’s 7 years older than her or something and usually was the one who was sent to ~babysit~ but actually this little kid is sort of neat. Self-same brother isn’t dead but he’s not. there. I sort of like the idea of military deployment for him. they exchange letters when they can.

2&3) okay so I’m finally gonna make up a healthy marriage and it’s these people. the Fosters (lmao) are a very elderly couple who suffered heavily from Empty Nest Syndrome in like the 70s and have been taking kids in ever since. They are VERY OLD but very kind.

-mama foster is a short woman who likes to garden even though it sometimes fucks with her Arthritis. She’s very plainspoken and knows exactly what the internet is but has some trouble accessing it by herself. Her sense of humor is very deadpan, which doesn’t match her face at all but that makes it much better. mama debeste is a Good Kid who picks tomatoes and collects caterpillars in jars. mama foster has some trouble with younger kids because sarcasm is hard sometimes and her temper is a little short but she loves mama debeste. mama debeste’s favorite part of the usual day-to-day is watching wheel of fortune with her.

-dad foster is a guy who likes to hike. its getting hard for him but he can still go thanks to his kids. they go whenever they can and picnic. mama debeste sometimes gets a little ahead of him to put the collected caterpillars back into the wild. anyway dad foster has like an incredible appreciation for nature and I’m sorely tempted to make him a Bob Ross-esque landscape painter. he’s the kind of dad that gives you candy before dinner and winks. he connects easily to mama debeste because she’s young and likes to get dirty and messes up a picturesque scene just right enough for it to be painted.

when the kids grow up the Fosters have pretty much come to accept that they’ll lose contact with them. mama debeste was determined to not do that and visited regularly but then her own kid died. She went back to see the Fosters for help and they told her that it wasn’t right, not so soon, but losing children is as much a part of life as losing parents, and that she can still come back from it. Mama debeste told them she was leaving for Zheng Fa and they told her to be careful, to be safe, to be smart, and to be kind above all. They were smiling when they said it but there was an air of finality about it, because they knew they had lost her, too.

4) aside from her house burning down with her child inside??

I like to think that her and her brother went wandering around on streets and stuff together and saw some regular stuff yknow. stray animals helping each other, hurting each other, people doing about the same.

Once her brother punched a guy in the face on the subway for spitting at someone and that sort of justified retaliation always stuck with her.

5) mama debeste carries around a swiss army knife like a girl scout, a shitty plastic cigarette lighter, a keychain that was probably a gift that has her house keys on it, two or three pieces of nicotine gum, an instant camera, and her wallet (which in turn contains her driver’s license, Interpol id, library card, two credit cards in Blaise’s name, several pictures of the kiddos, and about $400 in nonconsecutive twenties)

6) mama debeste dreams of her kid. like. what they (he, I’m vaguely leaning towards) would be like growing up and stuff. she also dreams of Zheng Fa and the forest.

7) mama debeste killing people maybe unnecessarily is kind of my jam and they don’t haunt her per se but sometimes she trips over their bodies literally. sometimes she imagines shooting herself because what the hell, she’s a bad person. anyway mama debeste also hates funerals so probably those too and [fire noises].

Silence, notably, too. If you’ve got kids there should never be silence. if you’re anywhere natural there should never be perfect silence.

8) hi welcome to Interpol here’s a paper target except we didn’t tell you there was a watermelon behind the head so that the red explosion would disturb you into perhaps not firing sometimes.

(it failed.)

9) the Fosters are actually fairly well off despite having So Many Kids with expensive extracurriculars and stuff? because they had like, regular people expenditures, it was a little bit more of a natural life. Blaise’s blood money is far less wholesome which is one reason mama debeste goes to such great lengths to get rid of it fast and frivolously. She burns the money in an attempt to warm the home.

10) mama debeste is a sundress lady or a biker leather lady with no inbetween. The former is an expression of serenity and safety. I think the latter gives her more confidence, like the Interpol days.

11) she couldn’t get back into her fucking burning house. the second time she felt so scared was when she realized phoenix was in the second house doomed to fall.

(there were little bits, in the middle, where she lost phoenix in a crowd or sebastian swallowed something he shouldn’t have.)

12) lmao marrying blaise debeste actually. she’s shot people with less conviction, less assurance than she had standing on the altar.

on a calm of a different note, the forest is her friend and the first time she saw phoenix try to paint a tree was great.

13) HAHAHAHAHA next question. (idk if mama debeste: forensics expert is exactly canon but she’s definitely less sensitive to blood than she should be)

14) mama debeste will never forget a face as long as she lives.

15) mama debeste is concerned with the concept of Doing and will blow through all of blaise’s blood money so that her kids can like, have experiences and stuff, but her preoccupation is more spending and acquisition than frugality or anything.

16) let mama debeste be happy 2kwhatever. she knows she probably never will be so she tries to make others happy.

17) her brother made mama debeste a teddy bear out of felt and button eyes and pillow stuffing. he told her later it was because he was really attached to the one he was supposed to Hand Me Down to her but that’s only half-truth. Its name is Growls.

18) probably wisdom considering “ambition” burned her crops and poisoned the kid’s groundwater honestly? blaise seems like the kind to both hide behind and weaponize that word.

19) mama debeste doesn’t say anything. like she’s the ultimate in something is bothering her but she sticks to the gentle smile persona and lets wounds fester until its way too late. this trait is kicked up to eleven with blaise and the kids, which is part of the reason that phoenix has such a sunny memory of her.

20) I don’t think she does compare herself to anyone except for Greg and Desiree Delite. The former is for validation in her parenting style. the latter is when she’s really loathing herself and thinking about what she could do if she would just fucking leave blaise and this petty revenge shit behind and take the kids somewhere–

21) I mean technically the only bad thing that really happens to mama debeste that’s her fault is that she fucking dies and she knows it. she takes sole responsibility for that.

she splits responsibility with people she killed because tbh most of them sort of. deserved it.

she blames blaise for almost one hundred percent for everything else.

22) mama debeste appreciates honesty and kindness. she likes thoughtfulness and dedication to a hobby. she also likes good parents.

23) mama debeste will fight the westboro baptist church. she will also fight anything that reminds her of herself before she loved the kids. and also blaise debeste and everything related to him.

24) mama debeste trusts no one except for maybe people that phoenix trusts. She genuinely likes Greg and lets phoenix sleep over there even though she’s only met him a handful of times.

25) hahahaha mama debeste is the ultimate in seeing through people. she’s super suspicious of strangers and people she doesn’t know getting close to the house. acquaintances are graded based on how much they hate blaise (maximum hate being minimum suspicion). the only people close to mama debeste are phoenix and sebastian.

she worries about what might happen to phoenix and sebastian.

26) I’M CALLING HER MAMA DEBESTE FOR A REASON because at the end of her life she’s really really devoted to the safety of her kids. For the long childless period in the middle she believed that kids could be tools for revenge, but she never really lost the mothering touch, as it were. Shi-Long Lang remembers her very very fondly.

27) have you ever played a really long game of clue with someone and they figure out the answer but instead of running to the pool and announcing it they walk into the foyer and shoot the murderer in the face? yeah. the last logic battle with the ~true antagonist~ of aai2 wouldn’t have even happened because she would have shot him on sight.

her conflict with blaise is too personal for that though so they have a marriage of hate and she’s biding her time. I think that once her USE THE CHILDREN plan broke down she lost sight of whatever her goal was which ultimately ended up killing her.

28) mama debeste is a fan of the fists and an even greater fan of shooting things but she does her absolute best to remain passive and unassuming for as long as she possibly can.

29) I think mama debeste wanted to help people? she definitely had like, a brain surgeon phase, but once that passed I think she settled fairly well on public service through Interpol. there was probably a speaker that came to school or something tbh.

30) mama debeste won’t eat mushrooms and passes this trait onto her kids. she hates socks and sandals. wash ya damn hands. blaise debeste. she also isn’t a particular fan of praying mantises specifically.

31) welcome to the forest. three people are there, herself included. One of them is drawing, the other is fumbling around in the picnic basket looking for an orange. it is later in the day, but evening isn’t in the sky yet. The breeze is gentle and smells like pine.