#and also I knowwwww if I ate it I binge until I actually threw up cuz I would feel like I was throwing all my progress away
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Ed talk in tags. Sorry I just have no one I can talk to about it irl
#tw ed#crying and rocking back and forth over chips and curry sauce.#new low#my dad bought it for me without asking#put it on a plate and then tried to guilt me into eating it#I haven’t binged since new year (yippee go me)#and it’s just so disheartening to be putting in all this effort and to get better from bed and then have someone not give afucckkkkk#and try and guilt me into eating trigger foods#like i know I don’t really talk about it irl I just say I’m trying to eat healthier#and I clearly had a problem before which he shamed me for so :)))))))#like I know if I ate it I would binge and that’s why I’m crying cuz I have this fear in my head that I’m gonna miss out on this food and#like it actually makes me sick to think about that plate sitting on my kitchen counter and no one’s gonna eat it#likeeeeee#also I’ve already ate dinner?#why buy me a second dinner without asking?#that is so strange#he buys me food and sweets and then shames me for how much I eat#literally can’t win#when I was heavy restricting myself a few years ago he hated that too so there is no winning liek#I’m trying to be normal right now and what????#all he does is complain and he always comes in the kitchen when I’m making food to look at what I’m making#and also I knowwwww if I ate it I binge until I actually threw up cuz I would feel like I was throwing all my progress away#cuz I’ve been binge free for so long and#this doesn’t make sense#sorry if you read this I just had to get it out of my head#any way urge to binge passed I feel sane again :)
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