#and also I have 2 copies of Frankenstein so I only counted the one

[blodeuweddschild]

Bookshelf count cause I won’t remember otherwise lmao

185 books currently on my shelves

I have read 131 of these books

I have 54 more of these books to read

By the end of the year I will have read a minimum of 41 of these books

I have read 24 books so far this year

I am currently reading 2 books

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #346: James Moriarty (Ruler)

today on grailfinders we’re building for the very first time James Moriarty, because even FGO got tired of that true name-hiding bullshit. also because archer of shinjuku (ruler) just sounds ridiculous. anyways, Jim-boy is still a Mastermind Rogue to mastermind some roguishness, but he’s also a Lore Bard now to play his part to perfection.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

next up: how many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?

Ancestry & Background

as before, Moriarty is a Human, but he’s a fictional human, so he gets +1 Dexterity and Charisma, as well as proficiency in Sleight of Hand and the Martial Adept feat. with this, your slide rule can slide to any length, letting you perform one Lunging (extra reach) or Sweeping (multiple targets) attack per short rest.

I hope this isn’t shocking, but James Moriarty is a Criminal. if that is, I guess that’s his Deception and Stealth at work.

Ability Scores

Moriarty’s highest score is Charisma. he’s real great at lying, and playing to his character. after that is his Intelligence. we don’t really need it for this build, but moriarty is one smart cookie. wait sorry, wrong gacha. third is his Dexterity. that’ll help you slap people with a ruler and also multiclass! your Constitution is also positive since you need to live to the ripe old age of Archer, so your Strength is just kind of meh. turns out professors are not bodybuilders. except for that one guy, but I don’t think Frankenstein counts. this all means we’re dumping Wisdom. playing the perfect villain is your biggest strength and weakness- you’ll always succeed right up to the last step, but then you need to take a fall. that sounds a lot like being hypnotized, so your wisdom saves are trash now- we’ll patch up the abilities as we go.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: starting off as a rogue lets us get started on that right away, giving you proficiency in Insight, Perception, Performance, and Persuasion, as well as Dexterity and Intelligence saves. if that cool +2 isn’t enough for you, you can also get Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency bonus in them for a nice +4 to Deception and Persuasion.

rogues also get a Sneak Attack once per turn, adding 1d6 to your damage if you hit someone with a ranged or dexterity-based attack, and you either have an accomplice nearby, or advantage on the attack roll.

also you know Thieves’ Cant now, it’s a language that thieves can learn!

2. Rogue 2: second level rogues have a Cunning Action they can use as a bonus action, letting you dash, disengage, or hide without wasting your chance to stab someone this turn.

3. Rogue 3: if you’d rather waste every other part of your turn to stab really well, you can use your Steady Aim to get advantage on an attack at the cost of not moving that turn. but you’re also a Mastermind now, making you a Master of Intrigue. with this you learn even more languages, as well as proficiency with the disguise and forgery kits. also, if you listen to someone speak for a least one minute you can copy their accent. that’s why you don’t sound british.

if you were hoping for something even remotely combat-based, you can at least check out your Master of Tactics, which lets you help as a bonus action, giving someone else advantage on an attack, with an expanded range to boot!

4. Rogue 4: use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Dexterity! that’ll improve your AC, your attack damage, and your accuracy!

5. Rogue 5: fifth level rogues get an Uncanny Dodge, so if you’re hit by an attack you can react to halve the incoming damage. as a ruler your damage should always be halved, but we’re only level five, we’ll get there when we get there.

6. Bard 1: now you’re definitely villainous, but are you an antagonist? we’ll sure try to make you one! as a bard you get another skill proficiency, and while I don’t think you’re great at Medicine you’re definitely better than a -1, so now you’re proficient.

as a bard, you can use Bardic Inspiration to inspire your henchmen to new heights, maybe even making them a villain of the week! right now it just means a d6 on their next check or attack, but still!

you also learn Spells which you can cast using your Charisma. with Blade Ward you take half damage from all physical attack types, and Prestidigitation is just the kind of bullshit spell you give someone who needs to be ready for anything. with Bane you can give your enemies “protagonist in a cutscene” syndrom, reducing all their attacks and saves by 1d4 for up to a minute. if you really need to mess someone up, Silvery Barbs basically gives them disadvantage on an attack check or save, and an ally of yours advantage on their next one!

also you’re a rogue, so Disguise Self and Distort Value. you could probably do both of those already, but now you have magic to do it for you!

7. Bard 2: second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, so all your checks are made with at least half your proficiency bonus. also you have a Song of Rest which marginally helps heal during short rests, and your Magical Inspiration lets your minions add your inspiration to their magical healing or damage. I bet Arjuna Alter would make a great minion, he seems easy to manipulate.

speaking of, you can cast Command now, to force a creature to villainy! but it has to be a one-word command, and also they have to fail a wisdom save first. again, we’re starting out.

8. Bard 3: at third level you become a Lore bard, giving you three more proficiencies in Animal Handling, Survival, and Intimidation, filling out all your wisdom- and charisma-based skills. if that wasn’t enough, you also get another round of Expertise, doubling down on Sleight of Hand and Intimidation. clowns are scary in america, and sherlock gets really rattled when you show up in traum. it’s not the best reason for expertise but you’ve got so many skills I’m kind of grasping at straws here.

you can also cast Suggestion now, convincing a creature to commit crimes with a sentence or two. you can’t get them to do obviously harmful acts, so “hey, punch that tarrasque” is off the table. you can also set the condition to trigger remotely, giving you sleeper agents in the field!

one last thing- lore bards get Cutting Words, letting you use your reaction and inspiration to weaken an attack or check from an enemy.

9. Bard 4: bump up your Charisma for stronger bonds with your minions. and by bonds I of course mean mind control.

for even more weakening, the cantrip Vicious Mockery deals psychic damage and forces disadvantage on the target’s next attack roll! dying is a major obstacle, so just don’t do it. if there’s any other obstacles in your way that you somehow don’t have a proficiency to deal with, Borrowed Knowledge can help out, giving you another proficiency for an hour.

10. Bard 5: the fifth level is huge for bards, growing your inspiration dice to d8s and making you a Font of Inspiration, so it recharges on short rests. also you learn third level spells, like Enemies Abound. this arguably doesn’t make a creature evil, but as long as they’re attacking the good guys it’s close enough for horseshoes.

11. Bard 6: at sixth level bards get Countercharm but enough about that, you also get Additional Magical Secrets! scientists are still hard at work to figure out what they’re additional to, but we don’t need to worry about that.

now you can use Fireball to finally use your NP! its kind of weird how much more difficult one of your skills is compared to your NP, but sometimes these things happen. speaking of, while “flip target’s alignment” probably isn’t in Bestow Curse’s wheelhouse, there’s nothing saying you can’t use it for that, so why not.

also for your normal spell you get Dispel Magic to break through any magical obstacles between you and world domination.

12. Rogue 6: sixth level of rogue isn’t as flashy, but the Expertise in Stealth and Insight are still very much appreciated.

13. Rogue 7: seventh level rogues have 4d6 sneak attacks, but they also get Evasion! now every failed dex save is a success, and every success is like you never fell into your own fireball in the first place. I mean, obviously you would never, right?

14. Rogue 8: at eighth level, you get another ASI, so bump up your Dexterity again to really wallop people with that slide rule.

15. Rogue 9: a ninth level mastermind is an Insightful Manipulator, so spending one minute with any creature can score you insight into its soft stats or its backstory! the villain always seems to suss out the hero way faster than the other way around, right?.

16. Rogue 10: use your tenth level ASI to max out your Charisma for the strongest magic you can get- plot armor.

17. Rogue 11: by eleventh level rogues have a Reliable Talent, which means any checks you make with proficiency always score at least a 10 on the roll. that means no more critical failures, and even with negative wisdom every wisdom-based check is at least a 15.

18. Bard 7: Bouncing back to bard gives you access to fourth level spells like Charm Monster. if you make someone friendly to you, they’ll be hostile to good, which makes them evil!

19. Bard 8: use your last ASI on the Tough feat for a bonus 38 HP now and another two at level 20. rulers can take a beating, and now you’re no exception.

20. Bard 9: ninth level bards get fifth level spells, and we can finally get the best evilmaking spell in the game, Dominate Person. if they fail a wisdom save they’re charmed for up to a minute, during which they’ll obey any command you give them, and you can even control them directly if you so wish. if you want evil done well, you have to do it yourself.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

reliable talent plus your ungodly number of skills means you’re really good at skill checks of all kinds. even if you need to do something physical, you can slap down a borrowed knowledge and power your way through that locked door or over that wall.

you’re almost always in control of a situation, with plenty of ways to turn a situation with your advantage with a bit of creativity. you can empower yourself or your allies, weaken your enemies, talk people into things they wouldn’t do otherwise, and worst case scenario just literally take control of someone to make them do what you want.

we didn’t give a lot of focus on your slide rule in the build itself, but you shouldn’t underestimate a weapon with extra length on command. that added flexibility can mean the difference between attacking someone this turn or giving them an extra turn to escape.

Cons:

you only get one lunging or sweeping attack per short rest, and your bardic inspirations also don’t recharge until the day’s done until level 10, so actually using all your cool abilities saddles you with some time off for most of the build.

speaking of time off, everything but your main action is super crowded, with your bonus action helping your mobility, stealth, spells, inspiration, help, and aiming, while your reaction can block damage, deal damage, and use silvery barbs. so there’s a lot of off time when you don’t want it, and no off time when you do.

while we made your wisdom skills stronger, your wisdom saves are still absolutely terrible, especially considering you’d’ve gotten proficiency in them if you were just a regular rogue. as you very well know from your own toolkit, failing a wisdom save can be a serious issue for your party to deal with.

[almasexya]

So you started reading Dracula

As someone who loves gothic horror, it's really been a treat watching Dracula Daily absolutely blow up my dashboard this month. The memes and comments on this century old story have really breathed new life (and blood) into a genre that has honestly been a bit overlooked.

So if you're interested in sinking your teeth into gothic horror in between emails from Jonathan and Co., here's some other books in the same vein.

Each entry includes a link to where you can buy the book in question- I've done my best to avoid Amazon and send you over to Bookshop instead, which raises money for local bookstores with every title sold. Thriftbooks is another solid option if you'd prefer to save a little and pick up used books, and chances are your local thrift store has a copy of Dracula or Frankenstein knocking around.

A general warning for any of the older works here, predominantly those from the 1800s: These stories are very much a product of their time. Bigotry against marginalized people can be commonplace, and is rarely if ever remarked upon. This kind of content is inexcusable no matter the era and deserves to be commented on in the broader context of the genre in general, but is unfortunately something that is difficult to avoid when it comes to writing from this time period. If you'd rather not be exposed to that kind of content, I'd recommend sticking to the more modern entries on this list.

Vampires: First Blood Volume 1 and Volume 2 edited by James Grant Goldin

These two collections aim to catalogue as much of the pre-Dracula vampire material as possible. Here you can find Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla, the tale of the sapphic vampire and the young woman who comes to know her, as well as Polidori's The Vampyre, which all but codified a number of tropes now common to the genre, and Dracula's Guest, Stoker's lost "prologue" to Dracula. Along the way are tons of less well known vampire stories, both in prose and poem, with introductions and conclusions written by the editor that help place the tales in the larger history of vampire fiction. If you're into the older Victorian era vampire stories, these two collections can get you most of them. It's important to note these are all public domain stories, what you're really paying for is Goldin's editing and observations, which I consider worth the price.

The Virgin Vampire by Etienne de Lamoth-Langon, adapted by Brian Stableford

This one is interesting, the story of a wronged woman who came back from the dead to get vengeance on the man who cast her aside. Another quite early vampire story, this one has only recently been translated. It's a fairly quick read, though at times a bit slow on the plot. A chapter from this story is included in Volume 2 of Vampires: First Blood, so if you pick up that book, you can get a preview of this one.

Blood of the Vampire by Florence Marryat

Alright this one is really odd. It stars as far as I can tell one of the first examples of the "psychic vampire," a young woman who exhausts and kills those to whom she becomes attached. This one is intriguing in that it's written by a woman, and also just really, really racist. The warning above can't do justice to how racist this one is - so be aware of that.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Another gothic horror classic, famously written by Mary Shelley when she was just a teenager. Victor Frankenstein's quest to create life is still a great read today, with the monster's desire for love and companionship firmly placed against the good doctor's revulsion at what he's created. There's really not much to say about this one that hasn't already been said, so make sure to check it out.

A Dowry of Blood by ST Gibson

This modern retelling of Dracula from the perspective of the Count's brides is a beautiful read, and a perspective that benefits from more attention. Dracula's brides are often background characters who exist mainly to be killed in whatever adaptation they end up in, so it's refreshing to see the relationship developed into what amounts to a queer polycule without any of it feeling forced. The story doesn't follow the events of Dracula, though they get a tongue-in-cheek mention - it's more the story of the brides overcoming the emotional and psychological abuse of Dracula, a man they can't help but still love.

Carmilla and Laura by SD Simper

Sad that the original Carmilla ended the way it did? Well you're in luck, because this retelling is beautifully, relentlessly sapphic. Unlike Dowry of Blood, which is basically its own story, Carmilla and Laura stays true to the majority of the original tale's story beats, tweaking things here and there. The majority of the changes come in the relationship between protagonist Laura and her new vampire guest, who quickly hit it off and start to become something more.

The Vampire Super Pack by Fantastic Stories

This collection has a ton of vampire stories in its 600+ pages, from the familiar public domain works to lots of modern stories. Not a lot of editing here, but being a short story collection there's bound to be something for everyone.

Fangs by Sarah Andersen

This is a cute comic series about a vampire and a werewolf who get into a relationship. You've likely seen this one get posted on tumblr, and since it's a webcomic you can read most of it for free! The printed version does have a few extra panels in it, however. The author (who you probably know better from her more famous webcomic, Sarah's Scribbles) is right at home pulling the pair of classic monsters into the modern age, with cute, evocative art and plenty of jokes.

Unspeakable: A Queer Gothic Anthology edited by Celine Frohn

This is another collection of modern short stories that runs the gamut of supernatural topics, from ghosts and vampires to mermaids and plenty of haunted protagonists. With around 18 stories, there's lots of different perspectives and settings at play here.

The Vampire Chronicles Collection by Anne Rice

A lot has been said about Anne Rice already (and deservedly plenty is negative), but this collection of the first three of the sprawling Vampire Chronicles series is still worth a look, considering this is the series that is largely credited with taking vampires out of the realm of horror movie monsters and planting them firmly into the "tortured sad boy" category. The writing is beautiful and the characters compelling, so if you want to see when vampires really became modernized, this is where to start.

Anno Dracula by Kim Newman

Another series, though this one is an alternate history with direct ties to the original Dracula novel, where the titular count succeeds in moving to London and spreading vampirism throughout England after marrying Queen Victoria herself. With a veritable clearinghouse of public domain characters and real people plucked from the pages of history, the Anno Dracula series is a wild period piece that deserves more attention. The later entries in the series move into different historical periods, but the first book is unabashedly Victorian, though also a bit steampunk.

This is hardly an exhaustive list of gothic horror fiction, so feel free to add to it with your favorites. It should at least keep you busy between emails.

[rigelmejo]

Audio Immersion Loop

I’ve read this suggestion by Nukemarine before, and I think its quite a good idea - especially for improving listening skills and reinforcing what you know into a more immediate-understanding. https://www.reddit.com/r/LearnJapanese/comments/886lfg/does_your_japanese_listening_ability_lag_behind/

The core idea is: a mix of ‘audio seeds’ (audio you’ve studied before and therefore understood before) and ‘other’ audio (ideally things you’ve watch/heard with english subs or directly in your target language before - so your mind ‘likes’ the material). He suggests 30% audio seeds and 70% other, though any combo may be useful and he’s not sure if another % split would be more effective.

The idea is your mind understood the ‘audio seeds’ before in study, so as you listen to it regularly without pause your mind practices understanding it quicker and without concentrating as much, then over time you hear words/phrases/sentences similar in the ‘other’ audio material and your brain latches on and starts trying to comprehend them too and practices. 

I’ve very roughly followed this article’s advice before, and it started helping. So I’d like to make a proper list of what I could use for a full on Audio Immersion Loop that meets all these needs:

Japanese:

Audio Seeds: - Core 2k Pimsleur (audio directly from Nukemarine’s LLJ decks and because of that it should be mostly things I’ve studied before, or you could study using the Nukemarine LLJ Memrise Courses): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B8cWM0WNU3s4eFdSMzk5Vm9HR1E?resourcekey=0-KVCnBQh3SJxhn2oCUC-SiA - JapaneseAudiolessons.com (not ‘pure’ audio seeds idea since this includes english, but would count as comprehensible audio). Link for meL https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1qoJ7B002ZEgyDvCnGyFXUS1u8S_qgoG2 , General link for you: https://www.japaneseaudiolessons.com/ - Clozemaster Radio Mode for Japanese - Well suited for this, since you can have it play audio of sentences you already studied!

Other Audio: - Lets plays of any game you have familiarity with/like - for me that’d be Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy X, Ratchet and Clank, etc. Also any ‘video game movie’ since it goes directly through parts you know. - Condensed audio of FFX (perfectly suited for this): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1M5jdUQCM7O12r1X8np5y4ofkzBKMSdJo - Condensed audio of Death Note: https://www.paliss.com/episode/death-note-1615919536511x465432008057248060 - anything from this site if you’ve seen the anime: https://www.paliss.com/ - general condensed audio files: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1EMBr5yskSiBTZ-LUQtMY-r4AihRIJczJ

What I’d do: listen to Clozemaster Radio Mode Japanese, and FFX condensed audio.

Chinese:

Audio Seeds: - Chinese Spoonfed Audio (not ‘pure’ audio seeds because there’s english, but when I played this in even just the background regularly I saw listening skill improvements): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1MCKgOxzW9cd1u9cWjzGwWrpxnL5pDz0w - Clozemaster Radio Mode for Chinese - again, well suited for this, as you have the option to play only sentence audio you have already studied. 

Other Audio: - Guardian audiobook! by Avenuex: https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=791802378&order=2&_hash=programlist&limit=100&offset=0 - Sherlock audiobook: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVyDH2ns1F757P-m8MHckuIFqWapl6y-1 - Guardian audiobook by wheat (I really like their voice): https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=794964371 - Silent Reading audiobook (note this is the same version as ximayala so if you have that then just search ximalaya this version has some sentences/paragraphs skipped): http://www.6ting.cn/books/59641.html - Silent Reading audiobook unabridged (UPDATE I am listening through this one while following the webnovel and YES this version actually matches the text): part 1 - https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1b5411N7aa?share_source=copy_web part 2 - https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1SX4y1G7z7?share_source=copy_web part 3 - https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1tU4y1p74y part 4 - https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1cy4y1t7cC?share_source=copy_web - Silent reading (on music.123 by 景喵- , I tend to prefer this site because you can still listen to it in a mobile web browser with it minimized)  https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=349361634&order=1&_hash=programlist&limit=100&offset=100  - Silent reading (on music.123 by  栗煜子)  https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=792725710&order=1&_hash=programlist&limit=100&offset=100 - Guardian condensed audio (my link, will not work for others, u can ask for a copy if you’d like I just basically ran the episodes and subs through subsrs, mainly to make condensed audio): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/11J2qADG9rHSK_45rKpvVIpzXn8YYWhA_ - Silent Reading audio drama: https://youtu.be/DsdmeQBMD_M - Word of Honor audio drama: https://m.missevan.com/sound/2853120 - LiuLi audiobook: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLH_aGSaKXFeHSofRd4LF1Hl8fpCSREVBW - HP audiobooks: https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=526222636&order=2&_hash=programlist - general condensed audio link for chinese if anyone would like (it has The Untamed): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1LtZEKe9ItVg-H5q-G01YITLyfrWpOZR-

What I’d do: listen to Chinese Spoonfed Audio or Clozemaster Radio mode Chinese (whatever I could get myself to), then other percentage split between any audiobooks I’d want to listen to Guardian/Silent Reading/Sherlock.

French:

Audio Seeds: - Francais Par Le Methode Nature (literally made to be comprehensible, even if its brand new then Still just like chinese spoonfed audio files, it should be fine to just play repeatedly until you pick stuff up): https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLf8XN5kNFkhdIS7NMcdUdxibD1UyzNFTP - Gigafrench audio files (specifically if you have studied the related lessons already): http://gigafrench.com/construction/ - Clozemaster Radio Mode for French (however I’m not a big fan of my phone’s french voice)

Other Audio: - Dracula in french: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0hdBpzGpYY - Frankenstein in french: https://youtu.be/8AP02iALr5A - Carmilla in french: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpOWTYUar6NK8Qn7niKNw7Vp0z5YE5t7Z - Buffy francias: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x42mdjh - Merlin francais: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2crj9t

What I’d do: listen to Francais Par Le Methode Nature on repeat, spend other portion of time going through Dracula audiobook tbh (unless anyone knows an audiobook I’d enjoy more that’s easy to find). 

---

As for me specifically, realistically what I plan to do for a while:

Listen to Clozemaster radio mode Japanese and Chinese more often in down time (make the most out of the fact I have the radio mode option lol)

Listen to more chinese audiobooks, in the background, any time there’s nothing playing otherwise. (Since I really could LISTEN more often, its super easy to do during work I just don’t do it).

Actual other materials in japanese and french I probably won’t get to for a while. But if and when I do, above is a good plan for ways to include more listening practice.

---

Overall, my main July (to maybe mid-August) study plan right now:

Listening to chinese audiobooks (so more listening in general)

Listening-Reading Method Guardian or Silent Reading (or honestly anything), just doing it when I feel like it or can. (so more listening and reading in general, along with getting through more of Guardian). This activity eats up the most study time.

Reading more chinese chapters (so more reading in general, I want to up the amount I’ve read)

Trying to use Clozemaster (Listening Mode and/or Radio mode) for Japanese more. (and chinese optionally, if I want) So more basic vocab/grammar for japanese. *italic is lower priority

Lower priority, but I’m also doing these:

Reading through japanese grammar guides (specifically finishing reading Sabuki https://sakubi.neocities.org/, and my Japanese in 30 Hours book). So enough of a grammar base to read more. This should take like 4 hours max to finish if I just sit down and do it. 

Small amounts of japanese immersion (mainly reading) - right now its been playing KH2 in japanese, and reading Guardian’s japanese translation.

Translating Guardian print novel into english (so mainly reading skills, translation practice). This is much slower going than reading, so I probably won’t have much time for this project until I’m finished reading it regularly. 

[burningthemidnightcityoil]

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Eeyup. More Problem Sleuth.

This time isn’t so much as dissecting every little thing that pops out of that comic; I’m gonna break down the characters.

So let’s start.

PROBLEM SLEUTH

Rude; He even has a Meter telling him that his Politeness sucks.

His main stat is basically Charisma, but he is an impolite asshole apparently. But his “Diplomacy” is just him pulling out a can of kick ass. His first outing as actually being a Diplomat... and he cheats..

All, but one, of his Alter Egos is Female. Take that as you will.

And his God Ego is apparently a Goddess of Prostitution.

His favored candy is Candy Corn. Which has inspired many toward favoring the ill-gotten Halloween snack.

His Halloween special is basically him as a Vampire, with High Speed. I suppose he subscribes to the Sexy Vampire trope gig, cos actual Dracula does not have Charisma.

Good with one-liners and puns; though as we see with Frankenstein PI, it falls short at times.

Characteristically, he’s more related to Weasels; but he aligned himself with Elves and never shifted back.

He likes Knives

He gathered his team up by acting like a fool and swearing at them... and it worked.

His natural association with Angels or Angelic Beings, sexy bits, as well as dedicating himself to a narrative role of being a Noir Detective; puts him as a Hope Player.

His pension for Theft, Cheating, and having a Crew; possibly makes him a Rogue.

ACE DICK

Rude. No no, worse than Sleuth. Like, this dude punches people in the face as a Greeting to establish dominance.

His main Stat is basically Strength.

... And his Auto-Parry is to just take the full front force of the force by the force of his entire front.

And apparently his God Ego is the Devil? Likely, it has to do with all that indulgences and violence he partakes in.

He likes Chilli peppers enough to consider them precious cargo.

... There’s no telling if his Halloween gig is an actual Zombie, or it was just convenient for him to play Zombie, being an actual Zombie at the time. At least we know he likes Gummy Worms.

His imagination sucks, but that doesn’t mean he’s not creative. He puts what he has to use, and he’s appears to be very good with finances.

Of course his imagination sucks, he’s the Down to Earth guy.

But he’s also unbelievably gluttonous, and likely morally inept. Consider the fact that he hired Whores to come to his place of business to give him a good time.

Out of the entire Crew, AD suffers the most. He suffers a Salsa based transformation, he becomes a Zombie, he fuckin Dies, he has an entire life made by Death (don’t ask) which promptly falls apart in the worst way possible, he treats being assaulted by tentacles exactly how you expect if you got assaulted by tentacles, This dude is the “Reality Ensues” guy.

He’s the only one who figures out, why not just fuck up a guy when he’s in his fort? It doesn’t work, but its a good start. Points for trying.

All his Alter Egos that aren’t just copies of him, are Gay. Take that as you will.

The Dude fathered the Homestuck equivalent of both Batman and the Antichrist. That is a Horrifyingly bad or outrageously fantastic DC comic in the making.

Lots of fanfic gives his dude a dirty mouth. While the mouth might literally be dirty, Sleuth swears more than AD.

He has an attack that’s about eating / swallowing things, and he does use this against people (like Kingpin).

His association with the Physical, Feasting, disgusting sexy bits, being the least creative and kinda boring guy, but being outrageously physically powerful; Puts him as a Void Player.

On the ropes on which class he is.

PICKLE INSPECTOR

Exceedingly Polite. Second most polite guy here. The dude will play a game with Sugar Cubes as dice for hours, in fear of being rude.

His main Stat of Imagination is an odd one to deal with... but I equate it with Intelligence. Cos frankly, holding an image in your mind in such detail and logical deduction (consider his imaginary office), would put him firmly on the Intelligence path.

His Auto-Parry is him getting distracted. He-He gets distracted, in a life threatening situation. How on earth--

His Alter Egos are all honestly just him. In fact, half the Comic is about his Future / Past copies. His Gentleman Ego is apparently both more physically active, and more akin to ogling ladies. So that’s probably as far away from PI as your gonna get.

PI technically has 2 Godly Egos, but in this case, I’m counting one God Ego. And its Death, the Ultimate Reality. The other isn’t merely a God, but a fucking GODHEAD. That’s like, Deep Lore levels of holy shit. You’re getting into CHIM and Zero Summing. Game Over dude.

He likes movie Frankenstein’s Monster it seems, and he has an outrageous Strength stat as Frankenstein’s Monster. Which is odd, cos you think he’d be more in line with the Good Doctor instead. Hm...

If he needs help, he just asks.

He can’t solve Sudoku, don’t let him fool you.

PI seems to favor all sorts of candy.

Apparently, him being very Tall is prophecy worthy.

Most fanfics or roleplays give him a stutter. There’s no evidence of this in the comic itself, but interpretations are free to interpret.

He has an attack that’s all about staring at people.

Aspect wise, its very difficult to say what he is. Death is a Doom thing, but PI is very imaginative, which would put him somewhere in Mind-Hope-Breath-Life-Light. Considering he basically makes up the universe too, that’s Space and Time to consider. But if we break a few things down... He’s all about staring or seeing things or people. His Future / Past selves all come in various Primary or RGB colors. His imagination is Sight-Based, he imagines stories or objects, and his Godhead is merely the eternal Watcher. He’s probably a Light Player, as Light can travel Space, illuminating objects, whilst also defying time (Faster than the Speed of Light fucks Time up a lot). But his pension for Creation, his association with the Entire Universe, would likely make him a Space Player too. So more thinking and breakdown required.

Class wise... Hm... Well, he’s probably a Sylph; which in Homestuck case, makes PI the first Sylph ever. His character is associated with an entire environment, the imaginary realm, his fairy association is with Elves, and he literally makes things.

HYSTERICAL DAME

She seems nice enough, but boy she’s heavy on the old fashioned slang.

It seems that Alter Egos are very simple. They don’t have stats, or auto parries, and they share their Alter Egos with the Heroes Themselves.

Consider, however, HD’s case. All but one of Sleuth’s Alter Egos are female; which means instead that those Alter Egos are likely all Dame’s.

Which means that the Semidemonde Goddess is Dame’s Godly Ego, not Sleuth’s. Sleuth might not have one, it could just be his Sepulchritude and title as Arbiter.

HD should have her own stat, with associated candy.

She does appear to be ESSENTIAL. Cos she doesn’t die, she just gets knocked out.

This lady introduced the Lipstick Chainsaw.

HD is a very protective sort, and her first instinct is to provide aid.

But, she also has her own BERSERK RAGE (The Hysteria Meter). She’s like Dragon Ball Z’s Chichi in a sense.

Next to that, she’s a helluva a leader. She commands the Whores to serve as her Army (Which parallels the Goddesss’ own Angel army), and is the first on the attack toward Kingpin (Only when under Sleuth’s direct line does she actually fear him). She’ll even frisk MK’s corpse.

Physically Powerful; she can hold a lot of guns, one of which is the fuckin Hair Pin Machine Gun.

... So basically, PS made a lady who could and will kick his ass.

Rage Player. No questions asked. Only Rage Players have Berserk Modes.

Class wise, its a little difficult. But considering she bulks folks up when she meets him, I’d call her a Maid.

MADE OF RAAAAAAGE

NERVOUS BROAD

Literally, the Nicest. The nicest lady ever. of all time.

Her Nerves are on stage here. Be it merely being Nervous... or having fuckin Nerves of Steel.

And her case of the Vapors is her pulling out a god damn Flame thrower.

Teddy Bear. Knife. Commence Virtuous Mission.

This lady is armed to the teeth, and she’s one of the kindest characters here.

If Godhead Pickle Inspector is a reference to Acalokitesvara (”Holder of the Lotus” or “Lord Who Regards”), that probably means that Nervous Broad is Guanyin. ... The Goddess of Mercy.

She has seen everything that has come to pass and will come to pass, all at once, while falling into a Black Hole.

She can use the ASPECT CORSET to alter her height and proportions, and not suffer any ill effects afterwards.

Aspect for NB is like PI. Its difficult to discern, and I need to research more before I can determine exactly what her aspect is... Though the alteration of physical proportions likely turns her to Space.

She’s probably a Seer, thanks to that Event Horizon. 

Possibly more in the future...

[fandompitfalls]

Fandom, Misogyny, and the Struggle for "Clarice"

Originally posted 2/24/21

There’s a quote that, summarized, says, in order for a woman to be seen as an equal to men, she has to work twice as hard. And never more what that brought to light outside real life than Valentine’s Day weekend when CBS aired the premiere of Clarice.

In 1991, Silence of the Lambs, a runaway hit thriller staring Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins came onto public consumption and introduced the world to the phrase “quid pro quo” and the name Hannibal Lecter became a well-known name.

In 2013, a series by the name of Hannibal staring Mads Mikkelsen and Hugh Dancy premiered on television and was immediately embraced by the fandom community.  Dating long before Silence of the Lambs, the show features a BSU consultant by the name of Will Graham who is called into service because of his unique ability to profile serial killers.  He develops a professional and later, a personal relationship with Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

In the beginning the question of Will’s mental state was brought up, the reason Lecter was introduced into the series, he was hired on assess Will Graham after cases to make sure his fragile mental state was not deteriorating.  It allowed Hannibal to get close to Will and manipulate him in an attempt to turn Will into a killer like himself.  The show ended after three seasons and during those seasons, the show’s creator, Brian Fuller, made cinematography magic with his sets and scenes, a lot of them gruesome yet exquisite.

Hannibal became fandom’s gory darling, the relationship between Will and Hannibal being the main fodder. This was furthered by the support of Bryan Fuller’s comment in Collider stating that he saw Hannibal as being in love with Will Graham. https://collider.com/bryan-fuller-hannibal-silence-of-the-lambs-interview/

Just this past week, a new twist on the Silence of the Lambs timeline premiered with Clarice. Clarice takes place a year after Silence of the Lambs and the Buffalo Bill murders. She is pulled from the BAU and sent to a task force run by Ruth Martin, the mother of Buffalo Bill’s only surviving member, Catherine.  Created by Alex Kurtzman and Jenny Lumet, Clarice is not affiliated with Hannibal, the Series, in any way, rather, it is a telling of Clarice Starling’s story after the events of Silence of the Lambs.

Here’s where it differs. And remember, this is only the first episode.  By the time I post this, there will be two episodes out.

In the opening scene, Clarice Starling is sitting in a therapist’s office.  The therapist, a man with no name as of yet, is trying to get her to tell him about her feelings regarding the one-year anniversary of the Buffalo Bill murders.  He even has a copy of a magazine that features her on the cover with the title “Bride of Frankenstein.”  The more he pushes the more she holds back, telling him the rots answers that most FBI therapists want to here.  Finally, she mentions the magazine was bought by him as a trigger to see if she would break and he tells her that he thinks she’s not stable enough to go back in the field because she refuses to use to the “survivor” in relation to her encounter with Buffalo Bill.  She is not a survivor, she was never kidnapped, she was an FBI agent doing a job.  He also cites her relationship with Hannibal Lecter, insinuating that it was more personal in nature than he thought necessary.

Before he can put her at a desk, she is called back into the field by Ruth Martin and put under the team led by Paul Krendler, a man who Clarice “upped” in the movie when she was a trainee.  He doesn’t want her there, insists on a profile after seeing the first two bodies and when she can’t give an accurate one because she doesn’t have all the evidence, he tells her she had to tell the press it’s a serial killer.

It’s already shown that Clarice has a bit of trauma with press conferences and this is something that keeps coming back.  The press want Clarice and Paul Krendler just wants her to be the face of his team and tells her that she will say what he tells her to say.  Clarice is not taken seriously by Krindler, by anyone else in the office, (there’s a scene where men from the other unit that share an office, coat her desk drawer with lotion and leave that lotion and a basket in the drawer and then laugh about it).  Clarice is blocked at every turn by men, even her therapist calls Krindler and tells him to bench her because he’s worried about her mental state.

The first time we meet Will Graham, his mental state is mentioned as tenuous, yet the FBI have no problem throwing him right out into the field.  Clarice was a trainee who managed to catch a serial killer, and somehow she’s considered too “fragile” to be put on any cases other than desk jobs.  In fact, throughout the entire first episode, the only person on her new team to take an interest and believe what she says is Thomas Esquivel, an ex-special forces soldier turned agent who believes in what she says.

From the first moment of this show the misogyny was right out on view, there is no hiding that all of the men in this show do not like Clarice because she’s young, she’s a woman and they are intimidated by her talent.  Her only support comes from Agent Esquivel and her friend and former trainee Ardelia Mapp.

I mention the misogyny because it’s not all on the show. It’s from the fans as well. The first time I was reminded the show was on was when I noticed Hannibal was trending on Twitter. The day and time frame Clarice aired its premiere, Twitter was lamenting that they wanted a season four of Hannibal.  While researching for this blog, I used IMDB to get names and plot points.  And came across this comment about the premiere:

“Can we bring back Hannibal, please?

12 February 2021 | by [redacted]

And by that I am of course referring to the excellent series featuring Mads Mikkelsen's amazing portrayal of Dr. Hannibal Lecter. That series had great style, fantastic atmosphere, and stellar directing, editing, and acting. They planned to tell the ultimate Hannibal Lecter story but only were able to make three seasons out of a seven season plan. So, here we have a Clarice Starling series that had been in the works for years but didn't get the train running till now. So the premiere - Meh. Rebecca Breeds makes a very good Clarice but nothing else is up to her level. The cinematography isn't bad but the atmosphere is lacking, the characters are none too memorable, and the storyline isn't attention grabbing enough. I give it about a season at least.”

I don’t know the time when this posted, but I’m not surprised by the comment at all.  Comment and review bombing seems to be the way that fans express their “disappointment” about their old shows not getting anything…or rather, their favorite male characters not getting more screen time.

On the same page, the below link was posted.  This was one day after the first episode of Clarice premiered:

Clarice: Season Two? Has the CBS TV Series Been Cancelled or Renewed Yet? 13 February 2021 | TVSeriesFinale

A freshman series about a female criminal profiler who is pushed down, ignored, harassed because of her sex.  It’s almost a case of life imitating art.

I was going to leave this post as it was and post it today but last week the second episode aired which showed Clarice pushing past childhood trauma to face down a cult leader and a corrupt government system thereby earning Krendler’s respect and her position on the team.  And while Thomas Esquivel told her that a team is only good if each of its members understand that they can trust and support one another, thereby hopefully foreshadowing that this team will eventually accept Clarice as one of their own and in turn she will do the same, it took her risking her life by going back inside the compound, disregarding orders and singlehandedly getting the information needed to put both the cult leader and head of the County Sheriff down for the count for Krendler to finally see her worth and decide to keep her on the team.

I liked Clarice.  It was hard to watch at times, not only because of the trauma she is dealing with as well as the survivor, Catherine, calling her and harassing her, but because of the anger I felt watching Clarice get stepped on time and time again by the men in this show, only to get up and do her job.  Her final speech she makes at the end of episode one about her grandmother is inspiring and gives the viewer a bit of a “in your face” to the men behind her, especially Krendler…even though we all know he’s going to make her life a living hell when they get back to the office because she didn’t follow his rules.  That said, this show is very much a procedural, much like CSI or Criminal Minds. The series follows the format of the movie.  This is not Hannibal.  It’s not trying to be Hannibal, It is trying to be Clarice.  And, as the quote goes, it’s going to have to work twice as hard to even get one half of the respect it deserves.

[woodywood101blog]

What are your favorite mpreg films?

great question! i’ll whittle it down to my top five (i can’t really pick one favourite, so it’s just in a random order)

I generally prefer films that have a sense of realism about it: like, I don’t really want it to be obvious that it’s just a guy with a pillow stuck up his shirt. Acting like you’re pregnant is important, and being able to see the transition across the pregnancy is something I enjoy as well.

1: Junior

The writing is a bit weird, but this was the first time that I saw mpreg in film (it was aired almost annually on Network Ten in Australia, if any other Aussies remember haha), and having Arnold Schwarzenegger the one carrying the baby probably did a lot to realise my love of muscular men being pregnant. Also, Emma Thompson is just incredible in comedy films, especially if you know her contemporaries from Cambridge Footlights include Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie.

2: Seitenstechen

I vaguely understand bits and pieces of German (my mum’s side of the family is Dutch, so it’s possible to understand some German words and phrases when you hear it spoken), but this film is a bit weird. It’s about this guy who has an extended dream where he’s pregnant with his mistress’ child, I think? Anyway, the baby belly is somewhat realistic in this, and at the very least it’s intriguing to see German humour brought to this genre.

3: Frankenstein’s Baby

I remember seeing on the Mpreg Central forum that there was talk of a BBC movie where a man was pregnant through a whacky science experiment, and was able to see some pictures from a photoshoot with the Radio Times in 1990. I literally cried when I was somehow able to score a copy of this movie, and so did everyone on Mpreg Central haha! For a TV movie that was released a whole four years before Junior, the baby belly in this is *so* much better than in Junior! Also, Nigel Planer is excellent in this.

(btw you can watch the whole thing here)

4: Беременный (Beremenniy)

This Russian movie sort of follows the same idea as other mpreg films. In this one, a TV star wishes upon a shooting star that he and his wife will have a baby, however he ends up being the one that’s pregnant. Russian media hated it, but I don’t really mind it, if you can get past the not-so-subtle homophobic jibes at a gay couple who ask Sergei how he got pregnant. The belly’s realistic, otherwise it’s pretty wholesome.

5: Daddy

Do short films count? If so, this is by far my favourite mpreg short film. Daddy was one of the first things to pop up on my YouTube feed when I awkwardly typed in ‘mpreg’ early on. It’s about this gay guy who doesn’t realise that he becomes pregnant after a one night stand. Carter Roy plays it well, and overall it’s a funny, well-written short film.

Let me know what you all think!

Other honourable mentions, because they deserve some recognition of being a good film

Mamaboy

3 Pregnant Men (for a movie that only came out a month or so ago, it’s great!)

Paternity Leave

Ishhya

Los Embarazados

Seahorse (by Daniel Montanarini)

[hoidn]

Writer Tag Game

@anghraine was kind enough to tag me for this.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 110. they're not all fic, though.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 386,718. again, it's not all fic, so let's call it an even 385K for the fic portion.

3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

A Wild and Distant Shore Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

Hearing Light Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

to suppose the truth of it possible Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

Drowning in the Absolute Yes Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

if you came this way Star Trek: Voyager, Janeway/Chakotay

4. Do you respond to comments; why or why not? for the sake of my mental health, i would prefer not to answer at this time. (i’m not being sarcastic. this is actually very difficult for me to talk about.)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? probably Periapsis. Callisto’s just been raped by Zeus. we all know what happens next.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? i really don't know how to answer this. most of my fics have, at the very least, hopeful endings, and i think a lot depends on the context. for example, Elizabeth and Darcy are happy in both A Wild and Distant Shore and Hearing Light, but one is the happiness of a newly married couple still learning the joys of sexual intimacy with each other, whereas the other is the happiness of a newly engaged couple still in the first tremulous throes of requited love and attraction. how do you quantify which state is happier? to use a different sort of example, Harvest ends happily for Griet because she’s achieved a kind of freedom she never imagined, but i don't know how to compare that to, say, Mulder’s happiness at still being with Scully after so many years in and the world keeps beginning. there are different kinds of happiness is what i'm saying, and i don’t know how to judge the relative values.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest most absurd one you’ve ever written? how about we don’t use the word ‘crazy’ here? i’ve written a few crossovers, though i'm not a big fan of them. (as opposed to fusions, which i absolutely adore.) for most absurd, considering that Pride and Prejudice and Star Trek: The Next Generation are two of the unlikeliest canons to combine, Lydia, still has been a surprisingly well-received fic.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? if i have, it wasn't particularly memorable. i suppose it depends on how one defines 'hate' in this context. i know i've had comments from people who have not been happy with some aspect of a fic, or with me generally, but nothing i'd actually term hate. (truthfully? i'm kind of disappointed.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? there are kinds? i wasn't aware of this and i don't know what the categories are. amusing fact (at least to me): my most popular fic by kudos happens to be the first piece of smut i ever wrote. since then i've written a lot more, for a variety of f/f and f/m pairings, including various kinks, dub-con, non-con, and even alpha/omega (heavens to betsy!); however, my writing preference is people who love each other (even if they don't know/won't admit it), and those pairings make up the bulk of my smut fic.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? just the once, to my knowledge, and it was an extremely disappointing experience. a few years ago if you came this way was repackaged into a fic called Hired for Love by someone named cress26. and when i say it was disappointing, i mean... like, okay, i know i'm a solid writer. (that sentence notwithstanding.) obviously i'm no anne carson or a.s. byatt, but i'd give myself a solid B average for overall quality. so i guess i figured that if someone was going to steal my stuff, it would be because of that. but, no. instead of merely suffering the insult of being plagiarised, i was forced to also suffer the much, much worse indignity of having a story that is absolutely freakin' beautiful in places -- and i do say so myself -- taken apart and put back together like frankenstein's monster. seriously, even now, i am still so much more offended by how dreadful they made the fic than by the actual plagiarism. a copy and paste job i could understand! that fic is good, damn it! that is some A-grade shit right there. but how can anyone have so little respect for writing, or for language, just in general that they’d take something and then ruin it to claim it as theirs? ugh, it’s so dreadful. 

...wanna see? ;D most of it is still available on the wayback machine.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? i feel like maybe someone did once ask me if they could? but i have no confidence that that actually happened, so i don’t know. anyway, i’ve got a blanket permission statement in my profile, so it’s possible that someone has translated something and i’m just not aware of it. or i was aware and i forgot. these are all possibilities. i’m a very unreliable narrator.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no. it's something i've long been interested in trying, and there have been a couple of people i've wanted to try it with, but i can only imagine i'd be a nightmare for someone else to work with, so i've never broached the topic.

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship? once upon a time i would've said Mulder/Scully but i'm sad to admit that's no longer the case. while Elizabeth/Darcy is now my most enduring ship, i really can't say it's my all-time favourite (though it's in the top 5, certainly). i think, at this point, given the word count devoted to them, and the number of hours i've spent thinking, writing, and making gifs of them, it's going to have to be Walt/Vic. our relationship is only six years old, but those six years represent an output that exceeds all the years of all my other ships combined.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? yeah, see, there's a reason why i don't post real WIPs. (with one current exception that i’m still actively working on). actually there are more than a hundred reasons, scattered across a variety of documents on my hard drive. i doubt i'll finish any of them, but this way no one’s disappointed except me, and i was disappointed to begin with.

15. What are your writing strengths? i'm able to compose grammatically correct sentences and i actually know what words mean. oh, sorry, was that overly sardonic? let me try again. sex and feelings. those are my strengths. i’m good at writing sex and i’m good at writing feelings and when you put those two things together you have most of my fic.

16. What are your writing weaknesses? getting bogged down in details or overly convoluted metaphors, anything resembling plot, actually writing things. (see above re: over a hundred WIPs.)

17. What are you thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i'm pretty sure i've never had any thoughts on the topic. nobody told me there was a prerequisite for this meme!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? The X Files. the year was 2006 and i was 29. that's right, kids. i was late to the fandom party. also i am middle agéd. run away! run away!

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? i don't have one. i feel affectionately towards some for different reasons; there are some i don't like at all; a few i'm particularly proud of, whether or not i actually like them. basically, my feelings about my own writing are very complicated. i will say that i think Darlin', everything's on fire is one of the best things i've ever written. even there some bits make me wince when i read it, though. (and now the song is stuck in my head again. damn it.)

▪︎

i will tag @sarking, @sqbr, @wendelah, and @ziparumpazoo if they feel like it, because they’re the only ones i can think of right now, but any other fic writers who want to participate, please consider yourself tagged. below you’ll find the list of questions (with my edit) for your convenience:

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos? 4. Do you respond to comments; why or why not? 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest most ridiculous one you’ve ever written? 8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? 9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 13. What’s your all-time favourite ship? 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 15. What are your writing strengths? 16. What are your writing weaknesses? 17. What are you thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

[theepsizet]

Me ranting about Chris Chibnall part 1: Historical Stories

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be ranting about the Chibnall era and how frustrated I am over the quality of it. Today we’ll be looking into historical stories and why they don’t work in Chibnall’s tenure as showrunner compared to his predecessors.

Watch for the tag “Chibnall rants” if you want to view more. With that out of the way, let’s get started.

While I could technically be making a YouTube video about this, plenty of others have already done so.

The thing is about the writing quality of the show is that it dropped. Dramatically. Chris Chibnall has a knack for writing crime dramas — anyone who has seen his work on Broadchurch and Life on Mars can agree with that — but so far he’s shown to be pretty bad with science-fiction such as Doctor Who. (This is evident in his episodes in the RTD and Moffat era, but that’s another entry for another time.)

One of the things that he often gets criticized for is the fact that he has this habit of putting “politics first, story next”. And yeah, he does. We’re about 24 episodes in, and it’s pretty obvious he’s only making firm political statements about humanity and society are the main focus rather than the plot & characters of a story.

The historical stories in his era of a blatant example of this. Since Doctor Who is a show about having adventures throughout time and space, it wouldn’t

Well... uh... yeah in this case it is.

Most of the historical stories in the Chibnall era — except for Demons of the Punjab but we’ll get to that — tend to have their main focus on real-world historical figures rather than the plot. Historical stories in Doctor Who tend to find the Doctor and their companions landing in a historical setting and, coincidentally, battling aliens alongside those historical figures. Usually the story will focus on what made the figure well-known and inquorate. And while it comes across as formulaic, it’s not a bad formula:

The Doctor and Rose battle ghosts with Charles Dickens.

The Doctor and Martha battle alien witches who share Shakespeare's genius for language.

The Doctor and Donna solve a murder mystery with Agatha Christie.

The Doctor, Amy, and Rory attempt to discover why a siren is plaguing Henry Avery’s crew.

And so on and so forth.

Except with the 13th Doctor... the stories focus on the historical figures, not the story. The best example is perhaps the weakest of these historical stories, Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror, where the Doctor and her companions spend 80% of the story learning about Tesla’s life (even going as far as to include Thomas Edison, who doesn’t do anything other than being an egocentric nuisance) and not bothering to deal with the fact that piratical alien scorpions are trying to kidnap him and take over the world. The Doctor solves the problem by simply pointing her sonic screwdriver pointing at the queen’s device and sending her back to her ship. She then tells Tesla to activate the tower and the Skithra leave Earth. The story then ends with the Doctor telling Yasmin about the future once they leave.

That’s it. That’s exactly what happens, and it’s jarring to think this is what Chibnall presents a historical story as. Pointless runaround and educating the audience about a historical figure, not caring about the conflict at all. It’s bland, pointless, and feels like a waste of time once you move on.

Before Chibnall became showrunner, Moffat presented a historical story called Let’s Kill Hitler, in which the Doctor, Amy, and Rory take their best friend Mels. At some point — for spoiler reasons I’m not saying — River appears and steals the show, allowing the audience to get invested in a River who just became herself.

The thing is, Hitler is simply locked up in a closet after 10 minutes of screentime. And while Let’s Kill Hitler is one of Moffat’s weaker scripts, the episodes mocks the idea of focusing only on a historical figure. Even the Teselecta is just a cheap time machine that represents the classic “touring through time” trope that is quite childish compared to what Doctor Who presents it it’s audience.

This is a complete opposite to something like Vincent and the Doctor, which is the complete reverse of the formulaic historical Doctor Who story. Instead it focuses on Vincent Van Gough and the only real reason it isn’t educational is because it focuses not on Van Gough’s life, but on his friendship with the Doctor and Amy, something that the recent historical tries to avoid; the Doctor instead visits them as a total stranger, rather than try and get along with them to not the situation too awkward (a great example is how the Doctor is going as far as to avoid interacting with Rosa in Rosa, which though might also be due to the racism at the time) .

Then there is the case of using historical figures for fan service. Both Spyfall: Part 2 and Rosa feature historical characters that barley impact the plot but just seem to be there just because the writers thought it would be a good idea. In Spyfall: Part 2, the Doctor just happens to meet Ada Lovelace and Noor Inayat Khan out of the blue and just because the writer [Chibnall] wanted her so. They’re only impact in the plot is, in Ada’s case, the Doctor finding a McGuffin from the previous story and landing in a different time period, and seeking shelter (both Ada and Noor’s case). In Rosa, while the episode tries and focuses on her, the weak antagonist and how easy the situation gets resolved leaves a pretty bad taste in the mouth. Rosa Parks is characterized well, good even, but the conflict doesn’t seem to serious. Technically speaking, Rosa Parks could have still gotten on the bus and still went to jail; the only difference is the bus-driver. The other problems include the fact that situation is resolved so easily, and well, again the inclusion of historical figures. Martin Luther King Jr. pops up, but he’s immediately sidelined, and seems to really only be there because the writers gave a shout-out along the lines of “hey this guy changed racism in America, he’s important and you should pay attention” rather than focus a story on him.

This feels like something the classic series would do. Speaking of which...

Classic Doctor Who started off as an educational show, and the earliest historical episodes did either focus on a time period or a person — i.e. the first Doctor’s tenure had an episode where the Doctor and his companions join Marco Polo and interact with King Richard the Lionheart during the Crusades — but historical stories pretty much mellowed out in favor of more science fiction approaches. When a historical story did show up, it was more focused on the science-fiction aspect of it, rather than the historical part.

There’s a self-aware joke of doing a historical Doctor Who story by —sorry everybody, but he’s clever — Douglas Adams, in the episode City of Death.

For those of you who don’t know, City of Death follows the 4th Doctor and Romana trying to stop an alien from travelling back in time and causing a paradox that will prevent his species from extinction. Indeed, he has to fund his time machine using six copies of the Mona Lisa, which the Doctor later has to go back and time and drop off the blank canvases so they can be painted for this future adventure.

...this feels like something Steven Moffat would write.

Anyways, during the first part the Doctor and Romana visit the Louvre and visit the Mona Lisa. While the 13th Doctor would be characterized at showing how amazing Leonardo Da Vinci was and how his work will impact humanity forever (similar to what she did in Rosa), this exchange occurs:

Romana: Why hasn’t she [the painting] gotten any eyebrows?

The Doctor: What? Is that all you can say? No eyebrows? We're talking about the Mona Lisa! It's the Mona—

(The Doctor inspects the painting more closely)

The Doctor: Good heavens, you're right. She hasn't got any eyebrows. Do you know, I never noticed that before.

Get it, it’s funny because it works? Ah, I guess I’ll see myself out.

So... yeah. That’s it for now. This is part 1 of me ranting about Chibnall’s poor Doctor Who writing.

Side-note: The reasons I didn’t talk about stories such as The Wtichfinders and The Haunting of Villa Diodati is because — at least in my opinion, feel free to complain in an ask — they worked as episodes, even if it dragged at times. The Witchfinders did a pretty good job at demonstrating the sexism and paranoia over something logical at the time and The Haunting of villa Diodati did a fantastic ghost story by following the formula of the new series. Mary Shelley and Frankenstein was the main focus, and the Doctor and her companions had an adventure inspired by, well, Frankenstein.

Also I don’t count Can You Hear Me? because the historical setting wasn’t very important; it wasn’t really a historical episode.

(Screenshots © copyrighted by the BBC; do NOT give me credit for the pictures)

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Frankenstein: Facets of Filmmaking

Universal Studio’s history with horror was a long one.

The studio’s amazing run with the ‘children of the night’ began in 1923, with the silent movie hit The Hunchback of Notre Dame starring Lon Chaney Sr. (Father of the future Wolf-Man, Lon Chaney Jr.).  The film was a massive success, making $3 million (it sounds like nothing now, but it’d be the equivalent of around $43 million today).  Universal had struck gold, and continued the streak with other hits like The Phantom of the Opera and The Last Performance throughout the rest of the 1920s.

Then, in 1931, their biggest hit yet, Dracula, came to theaters, and audiences went nuts.  Within 2 days, the movie had sold 50,000 tickets, making $700,000, the hugest movie of the year.  Immediately after, the head of production, Carl Laemmle Jr., made the decision to make more horror films.  He gave the job of a new horror film, Frankenstein, to French-born director Robert Florey, and awaited their next big hit.

Following the success of Dracula, it only made sense to try to wrangle their big star, Bela Lugosi, for the film.  Lugosi was willing to play the role of the mad-scientist, Dr. Henry Frankenstein, but Laemmle Jr. wanted him to play the monster, instead.  After multiple make-up tests that weren’t working, Lugosi left the project.

At this point, the ‘monster’ was not the empathetic creature we know he is now.  Script changes by director Robert Florey had transformed the character into a killing machine, without the element of sympathy or humanity that Karloff would later be able to portray.  Fortunately, this aspect of the monster changed about the same time as the director did.

Shortly into pre-production, Florey was taken off the project, (only two of ‘his’ scenes are in the final product: the burning windmill scene is one) and was replaced with highly acclaimed director, James Whale, two weeks before shooting was to begin.  It was here that the project truly began to take shape as the movie we know today.

Whale, fresh off the boat from England, had been given his pick of any projects that Universal had going, and he found himself immediately attracted to the story of Frankenstein.  Upon taking control of the project, Whale revised the script, and added in the elements of pathos, of humanity, that is central to the character of the monster.

The script of Frankenstein was actually a complicated thing.  Much like the monster himself, it took a lot of mismatched efforts for the final product to become realized.

Although the story is based, pretty clearly, on Mary Shelley’s 1818 novel, Frankenstein, that’s obviously not where the script started and ended.  Lots of liberties were taken, to the point where the story is directly inspired by, but everything from the monster’s appearance to the existence of Fritz is the result of creative license: in other words, not in the original novel.

But there was more to the foundation of the script for Frankenstein than the original novel.

Frankenstein’s script took many nods from a stage adaptation written by Peggy Webling in 1927, in which the monster is mute and the mad scientist has an assistant.  Although it was closer to the finished product than the original novel, the script wasn’t a simple copy-paste of the stage-play.  There was still work to be done.

Universal called in John L. Balderston, a screenwriter who had already patched up the script of Dracula, to tighten the bolts on Frankenstein.  He was joined by fellow screenwriters

Garrett Fort and Francis Edward Farragoh, and after a bit of tinkering, the trio came up with a script that was still more sympathetic to the monster than even Webling’s play.  For example, in the play, Fritz scaring the monster with fire is an accident, in the film, it is an active act of cruelty.

But still other changes needed to be made, even after the movie’s script was finished.

The original ending for the film was considerably different to the finished version, and actually had much more in common with the stage play: Frankenstein was to die in the mill with his monster, and then Elizabeth ends up marrying Frankenstein’s friend, Victor  (Originally Henry in the novel).  Test audiences didn’t like this ending, and so the script was rewritten so that Henry survives, and he and Elizabeth live happily (?) ever after.

Once the script was all worked out, they needed a cast to bring this story to life.  Thankfully, James Whale found his monster figure in the best possible choice: established English actor, Boris Karloff.

Karloff had been in several films for decades, working in the movie industry long before sound hit.  He was in his forties when Frankenstein came into production, and a relative unknown, but it turned out, he was the perfect fit for the monster.  Having spotted Karloff in the Universal commissary, James Whale sent him a note, offering a screen-test.  Karloff leapt at the chance to play the monster, although later he would joke about being offended to be considered for a horrifically ugly character, considering that he was wearing his best suit at the time.

With the monster discovered, the rest of the cast fell into place, British actor Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein, and Universal favorite Mae Clarke as Elizabeth Lavenza.  Also in the cast were several actors who would become familiar household names to horror fans: Dwight Frye, (Fritz) had previously appeared in Dracula as Renfield, and he would appear in The Invisible Man, The Bride of Frankenstein, and other Universal horror classics.  Edward Van Sloan, who plays Dr. Waldman in the film, like Frye, had appeared in Dracula, and would go on to appear in The Mummy.

With the cast now assembled, all that was left was to begin making the film itself, starting with one of the most important elements of any monster movie: the monster itself.

The makeup job that the brilliant Jack Pierce did on Boris Karloff to turn him into the monster took nearly four hours to apply, and the overall costume weighed 48 pounds total.  The effect was accomplished by Pierce’s creation of a square skull, and the painting of Karloff’s face in a blue-green tone, in order to appear white on camera.  Pierce also came up with the idea to put the electrodes in the monster’s neck, finishing off the monster’s iconic look.

Some of the look, however, was Karloff’s idea.  Said Karloff:

“We found the eyes were too bright, seemed too understanding, when dumb bewilderment was so essential. So I waxed my eyes to make them heavy, half-seeing.”

The effect was immediately striking, as was Karloff’s other idea: removing his bridgework in his teeth in order to hollow his cheeks, giving the monster a gaunt look that showed up brilliantly in the final product.

Although the entire costume looked excellent on film, it wasn’t easy to wear.  Boris Karloff’s memories of the makeup chair were less than glowing:

“I spent three-and-a-half hours in the make-up chair getting ready for the day’s work. The make-up itself was quite painful, particularly the putty on my eyes. There were days when I thought I would never be able to hold out until the end of the day.”

The makeup wasn’t all there was to it, however.  Karloff wore a suit that was too small, allowing the monster to seem truly oversized, and wore platform boots that each weighed thirteen pounds, contributing to the monster’s slow, heavy walk.  

But there was more to the effects of Frankenstein than just the monster’s makeup.

The electricity effects of the ‘mad scientist’ lab were created by Kenneth Strickfaden, which were so instantly iconic and successful that they became essential to every Universal Frankenstein film made since.  (Strickfaden managed to obtain one of the Tesla Coils invented by Nikola Tesla to use in the film, another interesting part of the set.)  These sets and props became so iconic that they would later be used in Mel Brooks’ parody, Young Frankenstein, and some of the props survive even today.

Once the movie finished shooting (5 days late), all that was left was to send it into circulation in theaters, and while the film was successful, (the highest grossing film of 1931) some changes had to be made, according to the censors.

The state censorship boards in Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, and New York felt that the scene in which the monster accidentally drowns the girl, Maria, was too upsetting, and cut the second half of the scene before it hit theaters.  (Unfortunately, without this information, the implication of the monster’s actions is far worse than had the scene been shown in full.)  Also cut was Dr. Frankenstein’s blasphemous bragging after raising the monster.  Notably, Kansas’s initial request was to cut thirty two scenes, which would have shortened the film to half its original runtime.  Thankfully, they reconsidered, and an edited version (though not to that extent) was released in the state of Kansas, mostly the same film as released elsewhere.

After the film hit theaters, reception was wild.  Frankenstein immediately topped the already-successful Dracula in both financial and critical ways, finding acclaim among many critics, many lauding it for its technological achievements, as well as its chilling and fascinating story.

In that way, little has changed regarding Frankenstein.

To this day, Frankenstein is a cultural giant, the grandfather of the modern horror film.  It sits in the United States National Film Registry, is counted as one of the greatest films of all time, and is regularly mentioned on lists of films to see ‘before you die’, and with good reason.

In 1931, Frankenstein changed everything, making horror mainstream and telling a story that was just as frightening as it was thought-provoking, and the years have not changed that.  Nearly ninety years later, Frankenstein, although it might not be as ‘scary’ as it used to be, remains just as thought-provoking, and just as important as the films made and watched today.

Join us next time for our final look and personal thoughts on Frankenstein, where we’ll be wrapping our discussion up on this movie.  Thank you so much for reading, and I hope to see you in the next article.

[jellybeanbeing]

History of My Bookshelf Challenge

Created by the amazing Emmmabooks!

1. The oldest book on your shelf - An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir 

This is the first physical book I’ve ever gotten and still have. Yes, I only purchased it in 2018 but it’s been about two years so it counts because the other books I have, I got after.

2. A book you read in 2013 (adjust for however many years you like!) - Divergent by Veronica Roth  

I’m like, 85% sure I read this in 2013. I think I read it because the movie was coming out and I wanted to read the book first so I could judge the movie, but it’s been like five years and I still haven’t seen it.

3. A book you read in 2014 - Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

I only remember reading this book during this year because I was sitting at a teacher’s desk when someone came up to me and asked me why I was reading the book when it was going to be required reading in the near future. Other than that, I remember liking the book, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t today.

4. A book you read in 2015 - Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy 

Again, this is one I’m 85% sure I read in 2015. This whole book was a fever dream to me and I kind of want to read it again. 

5. A book you read in 2016 - The Fill-In Boyfriend by Kasie West 

The one thing that makes me sure I read this in 2016 was because I had made a new friend that year and the characters in the book had the same names as her brothers and I messaged her about it. 

6. A book you read in 2017 - A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas 

2017 was a good reading year for me. Before 2017, I read a lot of YA romantic contemporaries and I wasn’t going to change that until my friend lent me ACOTAR. I was reluctant at first because fantasy isn’t my favorite genre but I gave it a try and I really liked it. I ended up finishing the series and moving to other popular fantasy and otherworldly books.

7. A book you read in 2018 - The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White 

This is the year I finally started tracking the books I read. I read about 52 books this year and I’m choosing this one because my experience with it is a semi-interesting one. So I read Frankenstein in class that year and hated it. Found out this book was coming out and showed it to my English teacher who preceded to buy the book, read it, and lent it to me. Said I would probably like it better than the original (because I was open about my feelings of hatred towards the book in class) and turns out, I did! I loved what Kiersten White did with the story and the characters. I was engaged and actually really cared about the characters. 

8. A book you read in 2019 - On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta 

I’m obviously going to talk about this one so here it goes: I honestly don’t know what made me put this book on my TBR but it ended up there somehow (I think Goodreads recommended it to me???? But I’m not too sure). Anyways, I was watching a video from Jessethereader where he deciphers emojis into book titles and one of them was “On the Jellicoe Road” so I took that as a sign to read the book. I read it, was confused for a bit, but then fell head over heels for the story and the characters and everything about it. It’s one of my all-time favorite books now and I’m going to reread it again soon. I’ll try to make a review for it.

9. A book you’ve read more than once - The Raven Boys by Maggie Stievater 

Is this a surprise? No. Well, kind of. I’ve only read this book (and series) twice but I’m already planning on rereading it soon and every year after that. It’s my all-time favorite book series and that’s not gonna change for a while. I love the books, I love the characters, I love the story, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. And it’s funny because it took me so long just to read The Raven Boys because I kept DNFing it. I picked it up in 2016, read the first three chapters, put it down, and forgot about it. A couple months after that, I picked it up again, read the first three chapters, and decided this book wasn’t for me. Around 2018, I got the sudden urge to read the books and thought “fuck it, I’m reading it and I’m gonna finish the book.” I finished the series and mildly liked it. I got another sudden urge to read the series again this 2019 year and IT BLEW MY FREAKING MIND WITH HOW GOOD IT WAS. I just have so much appreciation for this book and Maggie Stiefvater now, and I love it.

10. A book you waited over a year to be published - A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir 

This is honestly the only book I’ve waited over a year to come out. I finished Torch in 2016 and I had to wait until 2018 to read Reaper. It was torture. And it’s still torture because we’re all waiting for Ember 4.

11. A book you read on vacation/away from home - Nectar in a Sieve by Kamala Markandaya

I read this for school and I remember going to California for a dance competition and not having a phone or something to entertain me so I took the book with me. For about a week, I read bits and pieces of it before going to bed. One moment I remember so vividly is reading the book on the plane ride back and it being dark and someone telling me to turn off my light because they were trying to sleep. I then proceeded to turn off my light and stare into the darkness because I wasn’t tired and I couldn't read my book. And if you’re wondering, it was one of those planes that didn’t have a TV at every seat.

12. A book you got from someplace special (anything that’s not your local bookstore/online retailer) - Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert 

My English teacher was retiring and giving away some of his books, and so I decided to rummage through his book and found a special edition of Madame Bovary with gold spray painted edges. It was gorgeous, but I gave it away.

13. A book that made you cry - Mosquitoland by David Arnold

I didn’t cry while reading this book at first, but I went back to read a few passages before giving it away and I don’t know what struck a chord in me but I was crying my eyes out over the book. The passage I had read just resonated with me in that moment and I couldn't help but cry. I read the book before some problems in my life occurred so I guess when I went to read the few parts of the book again, it all hit me real hard.

14. A book you read in one sitting - My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

This one is a fun one (my experience with the book, not the book itself). So, I was, I think 12 or 13 or 14 years old when I read this. At this particular age, I was a firecracker when reading books. I would finish a book, A FULL 300 PAGE BOOK, in one night. I did this a lot. I’m not exaggerating. I think it’s about more than 20 books that this “finishing in one night” happened. This one though, was crazy. I started this book one night at around 7/8pm and finished it around maybe 12am? I then proceeded to pick up another 300 page book right after AND FINISH IT THAT VERY NIGHT, or morning, whatever you think. My reading energy was off the fucking charts at that age. I can’t do this anymore, by the way. It will literally take me a whole month to finish a 200 page book.

15. A book that was a gift - A Conjuring of Light by V.E Schwab 

I had already gotten the book for myself but a friend of mine bought me the book and I couldn’t say no so I took the book and now I have two paperback copies of ACOL, and I’m not mad about it.

16. A book you read before owning (library, borrowed from a friend) - Sula by Toni Morrison

I read for school, and let me tell you, it’s the only book I’ve read for school that I liked and was memorable for a good reason. Right from the first page, it captured my attention and kept it through out the book. I’m planning on rereading it and hopefully I’ll still like it as much as I first did.

17. A book you lent to someone else - Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Six of Crows is a popular YA series but do you know how hard it was to make one of my friends read this and actually finish it? I gave it to like three of my friends and they all ended up telling me they couldn't get past the first couple of chapters. But I finally got one of my friends to read the duology and finish it and love it as much as I did. I finally have a friend I can talk to about the books.

18. A book that has been damaged - The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater

I tend to keep my books in pretty good condition, but I also have butter fingers, so that’s something. Anyways, the amount of times that I have dropped this book and bent the covers is truly astonishing. And it’s bizarre, because whenever I dropped TRB or TDT or BLLB, the covers didn’t bend but when I drop TRK, the cover ALWAYS bends and it’s a whole mess but I still love it. I almost forgot to mention that I got it already fucked up so maybe it’s meant to be.

19. A book you got on sale/discounted - An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

Yes, I’m using this book again because, why not? Anyways, I got this at a thrift store and I was so psyched. I saw this book on the shelf and was so appalled because who would thrift such a good book? (If you didn’t like the book, great. That’s your opinion.) So I decided that this was my chance to finally own a book after years of not owning one, and have it be one of my favorite books.

20. A book you read with someone else (buddy read/read with a book club) - The Refugees by Viet Thanh Nguyen

I take this question to also include books I have read as required reading in class because technically, I did read it with my class. I had such a fun time picking at this book. It was not my favorite book, though I really liked the first story. My English teacher had us write commentary and I loved it. There was no literary analysis whatsoever in my notes, and I think that’s what I loved the most. I reread my notes for that book recently and they are gems.

21. A book you associate with a song - A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro

When the Party’s Over by Billie Eilish is just a song that I associated with Charlotte Holmes, and that’s never gonna change.

22. A book you associate with a food - Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare

It’s not a specific food but more of school lunch for me. I just remember that QOAAD had come out and I was carrying that hunk of a book around and it didn’t fit in my backpack so I carried it in my arms. I was reading the book while my friend was eating her lunch beside me. After she finished eating, I had told her that there were pictures in the book and I wanted to be surprise but she wasn’t gonna read it so she flipped through the book and looked at the pictures. 

23. A book you got years ago that you probably wouldn’t buy now - The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I got this book in Chicago this 2019 year around May only so it’ s not years ago, but I was a different person in May 2019, alright? I honestly wouldn’t get this book now because I’ve learned that I’m not a big history fan. 

24. A book you associate with a specific time in your life - Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

I was first introduced to this book a long time ago, around the age of 9, I think? My sister had a stack of books from school and I decided to look through it. I read a book called Hushi(?) and I literally, for the life of me, cannot remember who the author was but I really liked that book. Anyways, after reading that, I read bits and pieces of Speak and I vividly remember the day being a bright and sunny day, and reading the attack scene and being so shocked by it. I didn’t really understand it at the time, but every time I read that book or see it, it brings me back to when I was nine.

25. A book you used to like, but don’t anymore - The First Time She Drowned by Kerry Kletter

I talked about this book in another post of mine but it reiterate what I said: this book was a favorite of mine in 2018 but then I reread it again and didn't love it as much. It wasn’t a book that fully captured my attention or kept me intrigued. 

26. The newest book on your shelf - Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater

LAST QUESTION! Call Down the Hawk came out recently and you know I had to buy it. I’m currently reading it right now, and I’m already loving it. I’m so excited for what’s in store for the characters. I am, however, feeling a little bit sad because we won’t get to see the whole Gangsey together again (or for a while). Reading CDTH is also making me realize that those who haven’t read The Raven Cycle aren’t going to know the Ronan and Adam and Gansey and Blue that those who have read TRC know them. I don’t say this to be offensive or “you’re not a true fan because you didn’t read TRC”. No, I’m not trying to say that. It’s just like you meeting someone when you’re both 30 as opposed to 14. People are different people at different ages, and Ronan and Adam are different characters in CDTH than TRC and so some people who haven't read TRC series won’t know that version of them. And also, I mean different as in they’ve grown and certain aspects of them have changed.

[canonicallyanxious]

Reading Recap: May 2019

In an attempt to document my efforts in completing my New Year’s resolution of reading at least one book every two weeks, every month I’m going to be doing a brief write-up of the books I read to keep myself accountable and share this journey with you all.

Hmmm so i guess my count this month would be 8 but two of them were issues of the Sandman series, which is a comic, and one of them I only read 50 pages of before my e-copy from the library expired so?? not a very accurate count??? Wish i’d managed to read more diverse stuff in may but 1. i spent about half of it completely wrapped up in my whopper of a davenzi “fix it” fic and 2. toward the end i started a relationship which had me EXTREMELY distracted skdfnsdfkns. so... could have read more, but was definitely very preoccupied this month with other things! it be like that sometimes!! Annual count is 38, which is more like 36.75 LOL but it’s fine

The books I read, alongside ratings out of 5 stars [5 for favorites; 1 for books I unreservedly dislike] and some of my thoughts:

Giovanni’s Room - James Baldwin | 4.5/5

This one is an EXCELLENT read. Holy fucking shit. James Baldwin’s writing is absolutely to die for and I really need to read more of his stuff! Also I didn’t expect this book to be nearly as explicitly gay as it was for some reason?? because of when it was published??? but w o w it’s gay! the protagonist isn’t very likeable but you get the sense that he’s not supposed to be, so I appreciate the intentionality of Baldwin’s writing here. Just, like, the deftness of hand in crafting David and Giovanni’s relationship, the organic development of it from something sweet and tender to something really quite volatile and dangerous, how well he gets into the psychology of what it’s like for them to create their own space in Giovanni’s room and why it was unsustainable from the start. In short I absolutely loved this one!

Crazy Rich Asians - Kevin Kwan | 4/5

No I haven’t watched the movie but this is quite an entertaining read! Part of me is, like, not that interested in reading about the excesses of the grossly wealthy in such detail lol but if you treat it as the fun, not-that-deep comedy it is, it’s very enjoyable! especially love rachel and astrid, of course, but just getting to see how the story unfolds is a lot of fun. Good for if you don’t want to think too hard about what you’re reading!

Autoboyography - Christina Lauren | 3.5/5

So this is a book about a bisexual boy who moves with his progressive family to a Mormon town in Utah. Lots of interesting stuff about sexuality v religion, etc. etc. I thought this was a sweet read, although I feel like since I don’t really have a strong connection to any sort of religious background it was kind of harder for me to connect to the characters and the conflict than it might have been for someone else. Also the tropes and stuff in this story weren’t necessarily my favorite but again I think that’s mostly down to a personal thing. Check this one out if you want a heartfelt story about a bisexual kid finding love!

Darius the Great Is Not Okay - Adib Khorram | 4/5

An extremely compelling read, this one! It’s about a mixed race kid with a complicated relationship with his family who goes to Iran to visit grandparents he’s never met before. Love what this book does with race and identity, LOVE the development of the friendship between Sohrab and Darius, really love the threads of family that binds this book together. Darius is an extremely relatable protagonist to me! I think my own criticism of the book is maybe some minor stylistic things, like I found the short and frequent one-sentence paragraphs to be somewhat jarring at times, but overall, loved this one!

Frankenstein - Mary Shelley | 3/5

Honestly... don’t have much to say about this book lol i thought it was kind of slow and almost?? boring at parts????? The best part of the story for me was getting to hear from the monster’s pov. And of course Shelley is an incredibly talented writer. Mostly I was just really distracted while trying to read this book sdkjfnskd

Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes / Sandman: The Doll’s House - Neil Gaiman | 4.5/5

So yes, this is two issues from the same series, but I’m grouping them together for obvious reasons lol. I’ve been wanting to read Sandman FOREVER and am only just now getting the opportunity thanks to a very kind coworker at my new workplace, and god it’s really meeting all my expectations and even exceeding them!! Gaiman is SO so good at the dark and twisted, and it really shines in this series when his brilliant writing is juxtaposed with the absolutely bonkers art. The artists that work on this series do some really really interesting things with the layout and composition, the colors are so vibrant and an almost jarring juxtaposition to the dark tone of the story at times, and the characterization is just so wonderfully vivid, as Gaiman’s usually is. Love Morpheus/Dream as a protagonist, LOVE Death, love the secondary cast of human characters too especially in The Doll’s House. I can’t wait to read the rest of this series!

Catch 22 - Joseph Heller | No rating

I’m honestly so sad I didn’t get to finish this book =[ unfortunately for Joseph Heller satirical world war II angst isn’t exactly the kind of thing I’m emotionally prepared for when I’m just starting a relationship sdfkjndskfjdsn but what I read of this book was really, really good! Heller has an addictive writing style and really interesting characters, maybe one day I’ll get to finish it but that day is not today sdkjfksnd

[discopongpong]

for @krishblogs who asked me the following set of excellent questions <3 It’s never too many questions!

1. What book did you last read??

The last book I read was way too long ago, and I think it was actually Vicious by V.E. Schwabb if we’re counting new reads, and Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe if we’re counting re-reads.

2. What book are you currently reading??

Well, I got a couple chapters into King of Scars but I’ve been so stressed and busy doing Masters stuff, I never got past those couple of chapters. Maybe I’ll pick it back up tonight!

11. Do you post reviews?

I actually don’t, but I have considered it. I just don’t know if I’d be any good at it. 

14. Do you set yourself a reading challenge every year??

Absolutely not, no way. I’d never be able to stick with it and I’d feel bad about it. I like to read solely because and when I want to regardless of how little or how many books of any kind I read that year.

28. First book that comes to mind, tell us about it. Rant.

OH my god okay first book that came to mind was Our Dark Duet also by Victoria Schwabb and how mad I was at it. I was on a crowded train, having a full on face journey of rage. (turn back now if you love this book).

I was pissed at so many things, the shoehorned romantic relationship, the deaths, the general tomfoolery with the chaos eater like I didn’t just read that in your last finale Vicky, I was just so displeased. So many wasted opportunities. I just felt like it was a cop out and it wasted a great premise and a lot of time.

(Honorable mention: Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo. You know what you did.)

38. Favourite genre?

Magical realism for sure. Like that raven cycle, night circus, strange and beautiful sorrows of ava lavender vibe. get me with that atmospheeere! I love me some good magical realism for sure.

40. How do you feel when you find a typo/spelling error in a book??

Hm, taken out of it I think. It’s kind of jarring, and I get it cause humans are humans and things happen. But it still knocks me out of the book a little.

44. Favourite book quote, go.

oh god why I am so bad at remembering things on the spot. 

Listen I’m going to throw some real cliche shit at you:

that set of lines from Crooked Kingdom, if I couldn’t walk I’d crawl to you? deceased.

SO many from the raven cycle!

 “ She wasn't interested in telling other people's futures. She was interested in going out and finding her own” same blue same. 

everything ronan lynch has ever said.

“Why do you hate you?

I don’t.”

“This precisely why I didn’t want to have a baby with you”

Adam Parrish, a miracle of moving parts.

Those are off the top of my head, sorry they’re such obvious choices!

48. Do you write, highlight, underline etc in your books?

Nope, only my copy of Frankenstein for my English language A level.

49. Worst book you’ve ever read?

Oh boy. Oooooh boy. I’ve blocked a lot of them out. I’ve probably read worse but what’s coming to mind right now is Anna and the French Kiss? I hated everyone involved in that book. E  v e r y o n e. Bunch of assholes. Also, the one with Isla in the title from the same series. Hated that too. Fucking Court of Thorns and Roses OH my god. OH and also, a little series I read all of thus far but I am too scared to name. But it’s a Lot for me, it’s a looooot for me and I can’t handle it and I don’t get it. 

Thank you for asking!

These were from the Lets talk books and blogging ask post :) 

[auroraphilealis]

any book recs?

Heck yes I do!

Simon VS. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli: Even if you saw the movie already, the book is like a different storyline. They’re super close but very different and I literally can’t decide which I prefer

It by Stephen King: I’m not actually the biggest horror fan of all time but after seeing the movie, I fell in love with this idea. I’m only about half way through the novel version, but there is something insane about the way Stephen King writes. He truly understands human’s on a level not many people do, or at least understands them enough to REALLY draw out the true horror of the world. I don’t know man, it’s a good fucking book. 

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley: Actually though, i re-read this after having read it 6 years ago, and holy shit this is actually amazing. I love this novel. Frankenstein is… a fascinating story. 

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak: Seriously fucking amazing. It’s about a little girl growing up in Nazi Germany only it’s told from Death’s point of view, and I know what you’re thinking - how the fuck? But holy shit it is a fucking crazy good story, and the character of Death had me hooked on the first page

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski: One of my all time favorite books. It’s kind-of sort-of the story of Hamlet, but with a totally different modern revamp. The main character is mute, was born mute, and his closet relationship is with his dog. His mom marries his uncle after his father dies in a fire, and.. well. It’s just incredibly beautiful and amzing.

The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind: Look. This is the longest book series I have ever read. I used to spend every second of every day reading these books. But if you’re a fantasy fan, and huge word counts don’t scare you, then good LORD is this the series for you. I think back on this series so fucking often, and I’ve read certain books in it like, six times each. Currently, my mom has my copies or I would be READING IT AGAIN since this series hass been on my mind alot again. Again, it’s super long. I think currently we’re on book like… 27. I googled it. holy shit it’s grown since I last picked it up. The best part about this series is 1. You can technically stop at any point because each book has a relatively good ending that will keep you satisfied (except book 1 and 2, you really have to finish 3 while youre at it). 2. They reflect the modern world so well sometimes you’re just godamn wow. Seriously. If you love fantasy, please give it a try. It’s worth it. 

The Host by Stephanie Meyer: Look, I know what you’re all going to say. Twilight was terrible, why would we read this? Listen, LISTEN I actually love The Host. It was really well done, and it definitely Stephanie Meyer’s better novel. The movie adaptation sucked ass but I actually DO still read this book over and over again. It’s a sci-fi novel about alien’s coming to Earth and taking over host bodies. They do this on lots of planets, and Earth is their newest requistion. It’s also the only planet to fight back well enough that the aliens actually think they might win. It’s not as weird as it sounds. It’s a love story, and it goes far more in depth with the meaning of life and stuff like that then Twilight could dream of, so give it a try. 

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood: Actually amazing. I read it for class like… idek, 5 years ago maybe? When I heard it was getting it’s own show I was like !!!! but I haven’t actually watched the show version yet, so I have no idea how it compares to the novel. The novel is fucking amazing though. Legit made me cry. However, if you have a sexual trauma or trigger, this might be a difficult read in some select parts :/ Still fucking worth it times ten. I literally bought the book when my class was over, it was so good (the teacher actually, actually handed out copies, how insane is that? She was amzing)

Beloved by Toni Morrison: FUCK SO GOOD. I’ve read it twice, both times around school, and got to write papers on it twice as well. This is… this is one hell of a book. Both times I read it, I got so much more of it than the first time. THERE IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK. It’s about a former slave whose haunted by the baby daughter she killed to prevent her children from ending up slaves as well. This was just before slavery was abolished, as well, and while her baby daughter died, her other three kids lived. However, now her home is haunted, and the baby ACTUALLY comes back. It’s crazy and amazing and one of my favorite novels of all time. I can’t pick favorites guys, okay, but I love this one so fucking much. 

Pellinor Series by Alison Croggon: Listen. Listen. I read this book when I was in high school immediately after I hurt my back so bad I was stuck in bed for a week, and literally continue to have issues with too this day. I CANNOT TELL YOU what the fucking plot was, and apparently there are 2 more books in the series that I didn’t know about, BUT I LOVED AND ADORED THIS BOOK OKAY IT WAS A WONDERFUL FANTASY NOVEL AND IT HAS A FEMALE LEAD ALRIGHT ITS GREAT JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT AND READ IT

Uglies Series by Scott Westserfeld: I remember finally getting my hands on this series and reading it in like, two days. Idk. It was great. If you can’t tell, I love fantasy and sci-fi and horror, which all mesh together horribly and you can never tell them apart. This isn’t horror though, just the other two. It’s about a world where when people turn a certain age, they get to become a “pretty’ which means to have surgery done to make them look perfect - only the reason for this is to dumb down society. Read it. I love it. 

Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead: I love vampire novels. If you couldn’t tell, this is a vampire novel. It’s one of my preferred series though, I think Mead did an amazing job crafting the world she crafts. Vampires aren’t under wraps, nor are they inherently evil, but they do work in a really weird system where you have the Special vampires who the other vampires protect, and then like the bodyguard vampires. I can’t fully remember, it’s been a long time. But regardless, I remember this being one of the few novel series that made me cry, and I still love it to this day. 

Harry Potter by JK Rowling: I thought this was such a give in that I didn’t put it on the list until now but actually like. Super good. I grew up in this series and sometimes I talk about it and remember I’m 24 cause some people I know have never read it and IT WAS LITERALLY MY CHILDHOOD. Still think it’s worth it, even as I poke more and more holes in the story, because the older you get, the more you start to recognize problematic things. Clearly, Harry Potter was meant for children, not an adult who wants to critize everything. GOOD READ THOUGH

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell: I grew up the girl writing fanfiction hid away in the back of the class because I didn’t want anyone to know. I look up to the people older than me at the time who developed and crafted the world we live in now, where Fanfiction is almost acceptable. Reading this novel... brought me right back to the Harry Potter days when the fandom was sitll new, underground, and ao3 didn’t exist. Honestly... it’s a really good book, and really hits home for people like me who write fanfiction and want nothing more than to write novels one day. 

Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin: But actually the books are really good. I fucking adore the show and that’s what got me into the books, but the books are HELLA good. Weirdly, Daenery’s Targaryen is not the most well written character ever, and I blame it on Martin being a guy, becasue sometimes I actually hate her in the novels (seriously, he makes her sound... like a child, which I guess she kind of is) BUT one of my favorite things in the novel is that her husband Khal Drogo does not sexually assault her in the novels. He’s super sweet and good to her, and honestly just. Yep. Yeah. Good series.

What Happened to Lani Garver by Carol Plum Ucci: The most heartwrenching book of all time. I can’t tell you how long I cried over this book. I’m literally getting tearful as I think about it. It is... fucking BEAUTIFUL. I want to read it right this fucking second. It’s about a girl who was in remission from cancer, but who joins the cheerleading team. Only, shes technically too tall to be a cheerleader, so she gets an ED which actually puts her at risk for remission. She meets Lani Garver - the literal emodiment of a nonbinary person before that term every existed. Lani Garver is... a fucking angel. An actual angel okay. They help the main character through so much, specifically bullying, and Lani taught ME so much when I read it. The author refers to Lani as he, but remember that it was written before nonbinary was an accepted (possible even before it was a fully labeled) thing, but the book is SO worth reading. I. I’m going to go read it again. 

Streams of Babel and it’s sequel The Fire Will Fall by Carol Plum Ucci: I originally read the second novel first on accident, which just goes to show you how good an author Ucci is becasue I didn’t even NOTICE until I got to the end and saw there was a first novel, oops. But, its a take on the lives of 4 kids in a situation of chemical warfare, and what happens to them when they get poisoned by the water. I think one of the kids is a fucking comptuer genius. Idk, I can’t fully remember, but it is one of my favorite novels, so check them out. 

I’m like 100% that there’s more I could list but those are the ones I could currently recall BECAUSE THIS IS A MONUMENTAL TASK AND I LOVE BOOKS

[symphonyofmars]

House of the Dead 14

Everyone is nervous except grandma. Grandmas have no reason to be nervous. They rule the world with a pair of iron knitting needles.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, NOTE

MASTERLIST

Word count: 6,921

Fandom: Riverdale

Characters: Malachi, OC (Woman), Archie, Betty, Veronica, Jughead, Cheryl, Toni, Penny

Pairings: Cannon show pairings (as of the end of season 2), Malachi/OC

Warnings: None for this chapter. Future violence, future smut. Don’t worry though, we’ll get there.

Note: So I think because my work has picked up (due to the semester starting) I might start doing a longer upload every other week instead of a shorter one once a week. I also think that maybe uploading shorter stuff once a week is making me write... worse? I’m not sure, but there are some things at the beginning of those year that I feel are a bit unfocused and would like to redo at some point in the future.

Persephone looked out over her bedroom floor. It was litter with the debris of a hurricane of clothing with her standing in the middle of what would have been the calm eye of the storm.

Except she wasn’t calm.

Shirts, pants, dresses, almost every article of clothing she owned was strewn about in a stream of consciousness parade where she tried on one item after the other trying to find the perfect ‘I’m here to show that I’m a good girl and please let me continue dating your grandson,’ outfit. This was never a position she thought she’d be in, trying to impress someone’s parents or grandparents, and since her entire wardrobe leaned heavily towards ‘Fuck tha police,’ ‘Punk’s not dead,’ and ‘Oi! Oi! Oi!’ she found herself having a problem. As she looked out over the carnage, the floor looking like someone had run into Trash and Vaudeville and wrecked the place, she wondered just what the hell she was going to wear.

Inspiration jolted through her as she remembered, somewhat morosely, that she had bought a dress two years ago when one of her own grandmothers died. Hoping she hadn’t gotten rid of it, she stood, stumbled, and proceeded to ransack the bottom of her closet. Nothing there. Her heart pounded for a moment, it was demure, it was plain, it toned down the fact that she had bright green hair, she needed it if she wanted his grandma to like her and she was running out of time. She looked up, seeing boxes on the top shelf and ran into the hallway to grab the step stool out of the linen closet. Stool in hand, she stood and took the boxes down as gently as she could. She emptied one and found no dress. She angrily threw the box to the floor and took the next one down. She pulled everything out and breathed a sigh of relief as the dress was in the bottom. Folded nicely, it was a black long-sleeved knit with a white peter pan collar. Yes, it looked a little bit ‘Wednesday Addams’ but it was the only thing she had left, and the only thing that didn’t look ‘Tank Girl.’

Wondering what was in the last box, she climbed the ladder again, calmer now that she had something to wear, and took it down. Inside was the blanket she had come home from the hospital in, a box that when she shook it gave the familiar clattering of rocks hitting the sides, and a battered old copy of Frankenstein. It was a copy not much larger than a hand and had gilded edges, the dust cover was banged up and small pieces were missing, and the spine had been thoroughly cracked. Persephone opened it, her junior high handwriting graced the first page with her name. She smiled, placed the book on her dresser, and put the box back.

She surveyed the room. At this point it looked like ‘a sty,’ ‘a bomb went off,’ ‘a tornado hit,’ and other things a parent might say when faced with the sheer terror of the mess that is their teenager’s bedroom. A spread in Pottery Barn Kids, this wasn’t. She sighed and pulled off her shirt and pants, adding them to the chaos. She wasn’t even sure what was clean and what was dirty anymore, she figured she would just wash it all on Sunday. She put on the dress and looked in the mirror. It was slightly tighter than she remembered it but it fit, and it didn’t make her look like such a delinquent. It’s not like she had time to make her hair any other color, so she decided to make herself look less, ‘Down with the man’ and more ‘Hello, I am a very good student and never get into trouble and probably go to church every Sunday.’ The first two points of that statement were absolutely true, the last one, the last time she was in a church was the last time she wore the dress. She fished around in a box on her dresser for a headband and found a black one with a bow on it. Perfect. She decided to do a simple makeup look and just lined her eyes with eyeliner, going for the ‘innocent girl next door,’ doe-eyed look.

She smoothed out her dress and looked in the mirror. She looked everything she felt she wasn’t, completely demure and cute – and a plus, not at all like the moms on Malachi’s street would be warning each other to lock up their sons at the sight of her. She grabbed a small purse from her mirror, took one last look at herself, and grabbed her keys and her phone and made her way downstairs.

Mal decided earlier at school that he should pick Persephone up at her house, “My area isn’t bad but it’s not a very nice walk.” He had hoped that maybe he could finally meet her mother, but as he pulled up to her house he noticed her car was gone. As usual, she was at work and probably wouldn’t be back until much later. Persephone opened the house door as he turned off the car and got out.

“Wow.” He said, mouth open as he surveyed her.

“’Wow’ what?”

“So that’s what you look like all…”

“Normal?” She laughed as she smoothed her hair behind her ear. “Do you think she’ll like me?”

“As long as you don’t do anything extreme, she’ll probably like you. She knows I like you so that’ll be enough.”

“Yeah, right. She’s going to watch me like a hawk for any weirdness or bad behavior like any good parent should.”

Malachi laughed and walked to the other side of the car to open the door for her. “Hey, if she likes me, she’ll probably like you. You get better grades anyway.”

Persephone laughed and got in.

Malachi got in on the driver’s side and started the car. “You look really cute by the way.”

They pulled up at Malachi’s house.

“Shit. You’re not afraid of dogs, are you?”

“Uh, no. Why?”

“We have three huge rottweilers that protect the house.”

“Are they mean?”

“Nah, they’re like kittens. But they’ll probably bark at you anyway. And… you’re not a strange young man in a white shirt and black tie who wants to ask about our ‘relationship with Jesus’, so you’ll be fine.”

“They hate Mormons?”

“There’s a bunch that always come around here, they probably want to convert people in ‘bad areas’ or whatever. But the dogs hate them, no idea why.”

Persephone nodded, trying to distract herself from the terror of having to impress Malachi’s grandmother by wondering if maybe the Mormon church was nearby, or if they took the bus over, and why they insisted on coming back to a place over and over when no one was converting.

“You ready?” Malachi asked.

Persephone’s eyes snapped to him.

“I was so nervous.”

“You had no reason to be.”

Persephone lifted her head off Malachi’s shoulder. “No reason? Dude, she was your grandmother. It was like the girl equivalent of if you came to my house and had to impress my dad.”

Malachi rolled his eyes and laughed. “If anyone had to be nervous it was me, because then I would have to hear afterwards how much she hated you.”

She hit his arm. “I’m serious! I was so nervous. What if she hated me and forbade you from seeing me?”

“That would have been a bit hard since we had the same English class at the time.”

Persephone narrowed her eyes at him.

“If my grandma or your mom tried to stop us from seeing each other, I would have found a way to see you.”

She narrowed her eyes as far as she could before she was unable to see.

“You know I’m right.”

She sighed and leaned her head back on his shoulder. “Fine. Continue the story.”

“Uh… I guess I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

Malachi tilted his head in thought for a moment. “Well, I could drive you home and lie that you were sick when I got there and couldn’t come.”

Persephone vaguely considered the idea.

“But I think she’d be a little bit sad she couldn’t meet the girl who stole her grandson’s heart.” He inclined his head at her and smiled.

“She said that?”

“No. But it’s true, and I’d like very much for you two to meet each other and get along.”

Her breathing involuntary quickened. “What if I scratch the good china or something?”

“We do not have ‘good china.’” He responded with a raised eyebrow.

Persephone wrung her hands in thought. Malachi saw as her skin lightened from pressure of the action and pulled her right hand from her grasp. He kissed the ring and held her hand as he looked into her eyes.

“She doesn’t—she doesn’t know about the ring, does she?”

“No. I figured that you wouldn’t want me to mention it since only we know.”

She sighed. “At least that’s one awkward conversation I don’t have to have.”

Malachi smiled softly.

His smile, gentle as it was, was what made Persephone throw away the idea that she might get out of the car and run until she was back home.

“Okay. I’m ready.”

Mal smiled and got out, and opened the door for her. He took her hand in his and led her up to the front door where he unlocked it and pushed it open. The door didn’t give easy as the three dogs were crowding and barely let them in because all three were trying to sniff at Persephone at the same time.

“Just imagine you’re being inspected,” Malachi tried to reassure her.

She laughed nervously. “They’re huge dogs.”

“They won’t bite you.”

“No, but they might knock me over,” Persephone responded as one dog pushed her into the other and she nearly toppled over him like a victim in a Three Stooges movie.

“Okay, okay. Boys? You need to calm down.” Malachi commanded.

Two of the dogs ignored him while the third sniffed him instead and then, satisfied, went into the kitchen.

“What are their names?” Persephone asked, still being shoved by the two dogs.

“The one that just walked away was Leo, he’s more like my grandma’s second in command. That’s Tiny,” he said and pointed to the biggest dog, “he’s the one who’s always on the lookout for the Mormons.”

Persephone laughed as Tiny huffed, finished with his inspection, and went to the window.

“And that’s Bear,” he pointed at the remaining dog. Bear also huffed, but turned towards the kitchen and waited for them.

“He’s uh, the house escort.”

“Seems like they all have jobs. Did you train them?”

“Nah. They kind of decided on their own.”

“Mal? That you?”

“Yeah, mama.”

“Mijito, come in here and get the big plate down for me?���

“Of course, mama.” Mal took Persephone’s hand and they followed Bear into the kitchen.

“Did you bring in the guest, Bear?” Malachi’s grandma asked the dog as he laid down, satisfied that he did his job.

“Grandma, this is my girlfriend, Persephone. Persephone, this is my grandma.”

His grandma smiled as she turned the burners on the stove off. “You can call me Concetta, if you want. Or just ‘Connie’.”

Persephone laughed nervously, looked to Mal and then looked back. “I don’t know if I can call you Connie.”

They both looked at her inquisitively.

“Well, isn’t it disrespectful for a teenager to call an adult by their first name, much less a nickname?”

Mal turned his attention to his grandmother who seemed amused more than anything.

“Then just call me ‘grandma,’ honey.”

Mal squeezed Persephone’s hand and smiled, and went to the cabinet to get the serving plate.

“Mama, would you call this ‘good china’?” He asked as he walked it over to her.

“Honey, you know we don’t have good china. Plates are plates.”

Persephone shot him a glare and he smiled back.

Grandma filled up the serving plate and motioned for him to bring it over to the dining room table.

“is there anything you want me to help with?” Persephone asked.

“Sweetie, you're a guest. Don't worry about it.”

Persephone nodded, completely worried that she wasn't making a good first impression. She stood awkwardly, her arms stiff at her sides, trying to affect the look of a person who was supposed to be there and who wasn't freaking out. She looked around the room. There were plates with pictures of idyllic rustic life, cats, or scenes of families painted on them on the highest shelves in the kitchen. For some reason there seemed to be a fair amount of roosters in barnyards.

“If you want to do something,” Grandma began,” you can take the table setting over to Malachi and help him set the table.”

Persephone smiled and nodded, and took the stacked plates and utensils into the other room.

Malachi was just finishing fixing the table cloth and set the serving dish down in the middle of the table. “Hey. How'd it go?”

“I asked her if I could help and she told me to bring these in.”

“Great, let's put them out,” he smiled.

All the terror of the situation melted right out of Persephone's bones when he smiled. She couldn't help but be completely soothed by the face she loved so much. She hadn't realized she was smiling back as she helped set the table.

“What?’ he asked.

She tried to suppress her grin. “Nothing.”

“What is it?” He whispered.

She shook her head. “You have a really great smile is all.”

Malachi couldn’t help but smile again, bashfully looking down as he smoothed out the tablecloth and adjusted the tableware.

“Okay, who is ready to eat?” Grandma said as she walked into the room with another serving plate of food. She then said something to Malachi in Spanish to which he nodded and went back into the kitchen. Persephone couldn’t understand because she took French in school and could only guess at the meaning of one or two words. Malachi returned with the last serving plate and placed it on the table.

Grandma smiled. “Everyone, sit.”

Earlier, in between freaking out and trying to find something plain enough to wear, Persephone had wondered if they had a large dining room table like the one at her house; the huge rectangular kind people only own because they intend on having large family parties during the holidays. The table at her house had gotten used significantly less since her father died, the apathy of her dad's family leading to too many a phone conversation she had overheard her mom having in which she estimated that whichever of his blood relatives – it didn’t matter who – was making excuses to not come to their house for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. This table, which could easily fit 10 people around it, had none of the inherent hierarchy surrounding table seating, because it was round. The equality of being able to sit in any seat was interesting to Persephone, as if she was seeing the very table that King Arthur used; round so he could be equals with his fellow knights. The wood of the table itself was well worn, as Persephone had seen before Malachi finished fixing the tablecloth, and she figured it must have been host to many a family gathering.

But the table being round didn't matter right now, there was only three of them, which meant that they were crowded to one side. Malachi sat between his grandmother and Persephone.

After they had all sat and passed the serving trays around, the real test could start

“So, Persephone,” Malachi's grandma began, and Persephone's eyes snapped to her, “Malachi's told me that you do quite well in school.”

An open-ended statement. Persephone knew this was a question without a question mark. She wondered if she was making herself more on edge than she needed to be.

“Uh, yeah. I mean, I try.” She answered shakily.

“She does really well in school, mama,” Malachi added.

Persephone nodded, an unspoken ‘thank you.’

Grandma smiled. “My Malachi's grades have even gone up since he met you. I think I should thank you for that.”

Persephone laughed quietly. “You don't have to thank me. He's the one who raised his own grades.”

“Maybe, but he does go to the library every weekend now because of you.”

Persephone looked to Malachi, who smiled back.

“After the first time, he came back and asked me where his library card was. We stopped going when he reached junior high, but I kept it just in case.”

“From when he was a kid?”

“Oh, yes. It had his name on it that he wrote when he was five. The ‘h’ was backwards and everything.”

“It's not like I really knew how to write when I was five.”

“Can I see it?” Persephone asked.

Malachi put his fork down and dug his wallet of his pocket. He pulled cards out at random until he found the one he wanted and handed it to Persephone.

She held it in her hands, amused by the older style of the card and the childlike handwriting that made up his name. That she was holding something he once held when he was little was funny, he was so much older and taller now. He still had terrible handwriting, but at least the ‘h’ faced in the right direction. She smiled and handed it back.

“You should have seen him back then, he'd run around from shelf to shelf trying to read everything. He wanted to bring huge books home so he could pretend be was reading them.”

“Hey, in my mind I wasn't pretending.”

She waved him off. “He would take the book and pretend like he was an adult and if I bothered him he told me he had ‘Very important business.’” She laughed.

Persephone couldn't help but laugh too.

Malachi rolled bis eyes and laughed. “It was important business, I had to read a big book.”

“That stopped when you hit junior high though.”

“Why? Persephone asked.

Grandma shrugged.

Persephone turned to Malachi.

“Well… it's ‘not cool’ for boys to read in junior high, you know. The other boys make fun of you if you do and say you're a girl.”

“That's why you stopped?” Grandma asked. “Mijito, you never told me that.”

“Obviously I couldn’t tell you at the time, you wouldn’t have understood. I didn't totally understand why it was happening.”

“Peer pressure is a weird thing,” Persephone added, trying to help him.

Malachi nodded.

“Well!” Grandma said, accompanied by a slap to the table. “You're reading again and that’s good enough for me.”

Malachi laughed which prompted Persephone to laugh

“Why do you go to the library, Persephone?”

“Uh, um, to study mostly. If I finish studying then I might read for fun, though I tend to get sidetracked by this guy,” she gestured at Malachi who smiled.

“What do you normally study?”

“I’m taking an AP Ecology class and I want to get a five in it.”

“Five?”

“Five is the highest grade you can get in an AP. Like an A.”

“Ahh.”

“I want to use it to help me get into a good college.”

“What do you plan on studying?”

“I think either Biology or Ecology.”

“You like them both?”

“Well.. They have a lot to do with each other, I guess. You need to have a pretty good understanding of biology to understand ecology.”

“What will you do with it?”

She shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. There’re so many things I can do. Work for a place like a zoo or a botanical garden, I could work for the Parks Department, I could be some kind of inspector who makes sure that big projects like cleaning up waste sites are going well, or I can inspect water quality in homes.”

Grandma’s attention was completely on Persephone, her fork down on her plate.

“I—uh… there’s so much to choose from.”

Grandma nodded. “It can be difficult when you feel you have a lot of choices that all seem like good ones.”

Persephone nodded and went back to her food.

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Malachi, unsure of whether Persephone was nervous or not, decided to break it.

“Mama, did you finish your blanket today?”

“Not yet. I had to do the bills earlier, but I think I can finish it tomorrow.”

Malachi turned to Persephone. “My grandma’s been knitting a blanket and it’s almost done.”

“Really? That’s cool. My mom’s mom died a while ago and my dad’s mom… we haven’t seen her in a while, so I never had a grandma who knits.”

“It’s not hard. You could learn to do it yourself if you like.”

She chuckled. “I don’t know. I don’t really have the money for things.”

“I can show it to you the blanket after dinner.”

It was quite a nice blanket. It had been knit in shades of pinks and greens and went through a few patterns, like braids, chevrons, and scales. It was a hodge-podge of squares, stripes, and other shapes that, despite the overabundance of color, texture, and shape, somehow all worked together.

“It’s really beautiful.” Persephone said.

“Thank you,” Grandma said as she held it up to look at one more time, and then folded it and placed it back on the arm of her ‘knitting’ chair, the only chair in the living room that had her knitting basket right next to it. “I’ve been working on it for a while.”

“How long?”

“Almost a year, right mama?” Malachi asked.

She smiled. “A year seems right.”

“It’s a year well spent,” Persephone said.

“Now, you kids go out. I’m sure you don’t want to hang around an old woman all night.” She sat down in the chair and readjusted the blanket. She pulled a paper out of the basket that was scribbled with who knew what kind of cryptic writing that served as instructions for her knitting.

“No—” Persephone started.

“Mama, don’t be silly,” Malachi retorted. “We’d love to hang out with you.”

Persephone smiled and nodded.

“Well, I want to watch my stories, you can if you want.” And with that she grabbed the remote control and turned the TV on.

Malachi and Persephone stood awkwardly for a few moments before Malachi spoke.

“Mama, is it okay if Persephone and I hang out in my room?”

“Go ahead. But no funny business,” she pointed a finger, gnarled with time, at him.

“Of course not.” Malachi took Persephone’s hand and led her up to his room. He flicked the lights on. “So this is my room. Room meet Seph, Seph meet room.”

Persephone laughed and looked around as she stepped into the room. “I like your posters.”

Malachi looked at the many posters of bands he liked on the wall. There his mainstays that Persephone had expected from the patches on his clothing: Black Flag, The Deftones, Tool, Nine Inch Nails, Alice in Chains, and Nirvana. Then there were the ones she could have guessed, like Rollins Band, Bad Brains, System of a Down, Sum 41, and X-Ray Spex. There were also a bunch she hadn’t expected: Los Crudos, Limp Wrist, Celtic Frost, Wolves in the Throne Room, Scratch Acid, Massacre 68, My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, Bathory, and Mastodon among many others. It was completely impossible to guess the original color of the walls for all the posters that were wallpapered all over them. From full sized posters to small ones, fliers, as well as band pictures, and tickets from shows plastered every inch of space. Some of them were from bands she liked, some of them she had heard of but never really listened to, and some were bands she had never heard of.

“Since you were coming over, I cleaned.” Malachi said proudly.

Persephone gave him a sideways look. “Shouldn’t you clean even if someone isn’t coming over?”

“I mean, I do. But that’s ‘clean enough for me’ which might not be ‘clean enough for you,’ so I cleaned more.”

“Ah,” Persephone nodded. As she continued to look around she noticed the door of an odd sort of closet that took up the corner of his room. “Is that where you shoved all the stuff you didn’t actually clean?”

He looked to the closet and back to her. “Well, yeah…” he almost whined, “But hey, the room is clean.”

“That’s not how you clean,” she laughed.

“I know. I’ll do better next time,” he said as he sat on the floor against his bed.

“Oh, I’m getting invited over again?” She asked as she joined him.

“If you want to come over. You’ve met my grandma, finally.”

“Only took you a year.”

They both laughed.

“In my defense, I was really worried you wouldn’t get along.”

“Why? She seems nice.”

“I don’t know. I guess because on TV people’s parents always hate their girlfriends or boyfriends and then ban them from seeing each other ever again.”

“And then they stab themselves and their family has no choice but to be friends because, ‘Wow, shit, okay, we really fucked up, huh?”

Malachi laughed.

“I guess Shakespeare has done a little more in influencing the world other than giving us the words ‘bedazzled’ and ‘swagger.’” She laughed.

Malachi looked at her. But not with the kind of expression that only implied that someone had seen someone else as they might see a mailbox or a leaf, he was really seeing her.

“What?” She asked, his slightly dumbfounded expression confusing her.

“Nothing.” He said quietly. “You just… you know so many things.”

“Hey, I go to the library, right? It’s basically the ‘nerd place.’”

Malachi laughed. Bashfully, in the way a boy whose crush has been discovered does.

“So what did you want to do up here? I hope not ‘make out’ that’d be kind of weird with your grandma home.”

“We could listen to some music before I have to drive you home.” Malachi offered, gesturing to a record player that was sitting on a table made from cinder blocks and a plank of wood. Under the table were crates with vinyl records in them, the ‘table’ only tall enough so the crates could be slid out from under and slid back in.

“Did you put that together yourself?” Persephone asked of the table.

“Yeah.”

“It’s very clever. Sure, I’d love to listen to some music.”

Malachi stood and slid the record crates out and Persephone joined him.

“We can listen to whatever you want.”

“Um… do you have anything by that band?” She pointed to the Wolves In The Throne Room poster. “That’s a nice poster, I want to see if they sound as good as that poster looks.”

Malachi looked where she was pointing and laughed. “Sure.”

He located the band’s album and held it up.

“Diadem of the 12 Stars?” Persephone read. “This band likes long titles for everything, don’t they?”

“Apparently,” Malachi said with a laugh as he pulled the record out and put it on. “The first song is called ‘Queen of the Borrowed Light.’”

Persephone sighed.

The gentle hush of the record persisted through a few rotations – a lack of information in the groove creating pure static – until the needle finally reached the music. The first song came on, gently strummed distorted guitars giving way to repetitive drumming and a wailing opening scream from the singer. Persephone was kind of hoping she could understand the words, but through all the screaming and the fact that the vocals seemed to be recorded in a way that made them seem quieter or further away, she couldn’t. Everything coalesced into a droning cacophony.

“Do you like them?”

“Um… yeah.”

“Do you know what he’s saying.”

“Mmmno.”

Malachi laughed and handed her the album sleeve so she could look at the lyrics.

“Yeah. This is not what I thought I was listening to,” she laughed.

“Yeah. They can be a bit harsh the first time you listen to them.”

She nodded. “I like the guitars though.”

“They have a lot of good riffs.”

The glitter of something metallic behind the crates caught her eye. She reached behind the crate and pulled the object out. “Is this your vest?”

“Oh yeah… I was wondering where it went. I must have shoved it behind there by accident when I organized my records last week.”

Persephone dusted the vest off and looked at the patches and studs. “Did you put all these on yourself?”

“Yeah. It took forever.”

“So then why is Alex making everyone’s coats? Why don’t you just make them.”

“I’m so glad no one else is here to hear you say that,” Malachi laughed. “Aside from the fact that neither of us wanted this in the first place? I don’t know if I can make that many jackets. It took me forever just to stud that.”

Persephone turned the jacket over and looked at the other side before handing it to him. “Still I think he needs a little help.”

“We can tell the others to help him out. They’ll probably listen to us.”

“Yeah… but we should tell people that they have to buy their own supplies. This way no one gets in a fight. You want a jacket, you have to pay for it.”

Malachi saluted her. “Ma’am, yes, ma’am.”

She swatted him.

He laughed.

She turned back to the record player and listened to the music for a moment. Now there seemed to be the voice of a woman singing… but she still couldn’t make out the words. She checked the album sleeve again to see what they might be.

“Can I ask you kind of a weird question?”

She looked up at him. “How weird?”

“It’s probably not that weird, but I don’t know why I never asked before.”

“Go ahead.”

“Why is your last name MacPherson? I mean, you’re—”

“Black?”

He nodded. “Sorry if that sounded stupid.”

She shook her head and laughed softly. “That was one of the nicer ways I’ve heard that question.”

Malachi nodded.

“But it’s an easy answer: my mom is black and my dad was white. Scottish, actually. MacPherson means ‘son of Pherson’ but I can’t remember what ‘Pherson’ means so,” she shrugged.

“Really?”

“Yep. My mom thinks it’s where I get my green eyes from, since hers are brown.”

“Huh.” The thought had never crossed his mind.

“Yeah.”

“Is… that why you haven’t seen your dad’s mom in a long time?”

Persephone shrugged. “My mom says it’s not the reason… but I don’t know. They sort of stopped talking to us right after his funeral, so…”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. I think maybe it’s like… when you’re an adult and you’ve married someone you sort of expected to be nice to their family even if they’re assholes, but when you’re a kid you don’t have that filter and if someone is acting weird because you’re around, you definitely notice it.”

He nodded. “Sorry for asking.”

“Don’t be. Maybe one of my cousins on his side is going to show up in the future, and if you didn’t ask I’d have to explain why I’m related to a white person,” she laughed.

He laughed too. “Was your dad nice?”

“Dude, my dad was the coolest. He made me a tree house when I was little and he’d shovel up all the snow in our yard into a big pile so I could make an igloo and sometimes he’d bring me back stuff from the site he was working on.”

“Site?”

“He worked construction and would get called away to work on the subway tunnels in New York City for long periods of time, so he’d bring me rocks like, ‘this rock is from fifty feet below the city, this rock is from a hundred feet below the city,’ and I would keep them in a box with a label saying how deep they were from.”

“Do you still have them?”

“Of course. They’re in a box in my closet.”

Malachi nodded. “That’s cool that you still have them.”

The music went back to the intelligible screaming, making Persephone wince. “What about you? Where does your last name come from?”

“Well, it’s Spanish, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“But my dad was from Venezuela, and my mom was Mexican. I mean, is. She’s still Mexican, she’s just not here.”

Persephone nodded.

“I mean, her family was from New Mexico right near the border and my grandma and she were both born in the US, so I guess that makes her an American with Mexican Heritage. My dad was from Venezuela but I think he finally became a citizen right before he left us.”

“Where did he go?”

Malachi sighed. “My mom used to tell me Florida, but I have no idea. I haven’t heard from him since he left. Sometimes I wonder if he just married her so he could become a citizen.”

“…Did you ever ask your grandmother if he did?”

“I did but she insisted I didn’t know what I was asking about.”

“Hmm… I wonder what the answer is maybe he loved her at first but then fell out of love.”

“Who the hell knows?” Malachi shrugged and turned back to the music.

Persephone watched him for a moment, wondering if he was enjoying it more than she was. She put the album sleeve down. “Do you… want to hear how my dad died?”

Malachi was shocked, he remembered that she told him he died in a work accident but he couldn’t – or maybe didn’t want to – imagine how he could have died.

“Um,” he asked quietly, “Do I want to know?”

Persephone shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Do you want to tell me?”

“…Yeah.”

“Go ahead,” he answered quietly.

“He died in a work accident.”

He nodded.

“He was working in this area that, I don’t know the name, but it was this spot underground where… imagine like a well shape, and trains from all different lines would pass through it at different angles and heights. It was like this well with train tracks running through it… kind of like Ker Plunk!, once you’ve put all the sticks in.”

Malachi blinked.

“What?”

“Somehow I did not imagine you telling me about your dad’s death would bring up Ker Plunk!…”

“Well, that’s what it looked like. Or at least, that’s how I heard it described when I was a kid.”

“Okay.”

“He was working on something, I think he was welding, and his safety harness gave out and he fell through the train tracks.”

Malachi’s face flashed through a few emotions, concern, terror, and sadness, before Persephone finished her story.

“He landed on his back on one of the train trestles between the tracks and it broke his neck. The people who were working with him went to get help as fast as they could, but it took so long for help to get to them because they had to shut down the trains so they could bring him up, that he had died before they could get him out of the subway.”

“Holy shit,” Malachi whispered.

Persephone nodded sadly. “I found the box of rocks earlier when I was looking for this dress, actually.”

Malachi could see her eyes beginning to tear, despite her looking down at the dress. It was when a tear fell onto her dress that he launched himself at her in an embrace. She desperately tried not to cry.

“Do you miss him?” He whispered as he hugged her.

She nodded and gave a weak “Mhm.”

“He sounds like he was a good guy. You were lucky you knew him.”

“I guess… I’m sorry your parents got divorced and your dad left. You must miss him.”

Now it was Malachi’s turn to have teary eyes. “Sometimes. And you don’t have to say sorry. You weren’t involved.”

Persephone pulled away. “You know, when people say they’re sorry about things they didn’t do, they’re expressing sorrow, not apologizing,” she laughed a small laugh.

Malachi wiped the tears she had been unsuccessfully trying to hold back off her face. “Well, thank you for empathizing with my grief.”

Persephone did the same for Malachi. “’Empathize’ is a good word.”

“What can I say? I go to the library. It’s the ‘nerd place.’”

Persephone laughed hoarsely, collapsing into Malachi’s arms. He held her and laughed as well.

“Life is so weird as a kid. You think everything is perfect and no bad things could possibly happen and you don’t know that things can suck.”

Malachi leaned his cheek on her head. “Normally kids have their lives ruined by finding out there’s no Santa Claus.”

Persephone laughed again.

“Babies.” He scoffed.

“If only everyone’s life were so free of death and—”

“—abandonment.”

She sighed. “Yeah.”

They held each other for a while longer, the music ending and the hush of the static filling the air as the needle had no choice but to read nothingness.

“Are we still going to the library tomorrow?” Malachi asked.

“Yeah.”

“I think I should get you home then. Plus, my grandma might get suspicious if we’ve been up here all night.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Persephone sighed and pulled away, wiping her cheeks. “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

He mused for a moment as he looked at her. Even with the tear streaked eyeliner, she was beautiful. He took care and smudged her eyeliner until it again looked like it hadn’t been cried through, but was closer to a smoky eye than before. “You’re perfect.”

She smiled.

“Do I?”

She took as much care in looking at him. His eyes were a little red from crying but not by much. She took his head and tilted it towards her, softly kissing both of his eyelids. “No.”

In return, he took her face in both hands and kissed her gently on the forehead.

She giggled softly and smiled.

“We should get going.”

“Yeah. Wait, what’s your grandma’s last name?”

“Romero. Why?” He stood and then helped her up.

She dusted off her dress. “I want to be polite.

Malachi cocked his head at her, checked that his keys were in his pocket and led the way downstairs.

“Mama,” Malachi called as he was at the door, “I’m taking Persephone home.”

“A few more minutes and I was going to check on you two,” she answered, not looking up from her knitting.

They both laughed nervously.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” he opened the door.

“Bye Mrs. Romero,” Persephone added with a little wave.

She looked up. “Bye honey. I hope you come back soon.”

“If Malachi invites me I will.”

“Drive safe you two.”

In no time at all they were back at Persephone’s house. Malachi parked in front of her house and turned off the engine.

“So… I think that went great.”

“We both freaked out for nothing.”

He laughed. “I was trying to keep my freaking out a secret since I didn’t want you to get more nervous.”

“Well, thank you for that, sir.” Persephone laughed.

Malachi moved in and kissed her, but the lurching of the front door of the house opening suddenly made them pull apart. Someone came running down the stairs.

“Mom?” Persephone got out of the car as fast as she could, with Malachi getting out on his side.

“Where have you been? I thought you were kidnapped!” Her mom ran up to her and hugged her tightly.

“Mom, why the hell did you think I was kidnapped?”

She pulled away and held her shoulders. “Because I got home and your room was such a mess I thought someone had taken you and robbed us.”

“…With all the doors locked?”

Her mom thought for a second.

“And only my room getting robbed?”

Her mom looked at her in confusion and then to Malachi, who waved, and then back to her. “You look nice. Who’s this?”

Persephone exhaled. “Mom, this is my boyfriend, Malachi. My room was a mess because I was deciding what to wear to meet his grandma.” Persephone was very happy that Malachi had also decided to dress up, as the black button-down shirt and black pants he was wearing wouldn’t tip her mom off that he actually dressed like her normally.

“Oh. Oh. I am so sorry, you must think I’m a nut. I’m Deandra, it’s nice to meet you.”

She held out her hand and he shook it. “Nice to meet you too Mrs. MacPherson.”

“Would you like to come inside? I can make coffee.”

“Mom, it’s ten P.M.”

“Well, I could stay up for a little longer and meet your boyfriend. If you just met his grandma then he should meet me.”

“Oh my god. Mom, we’re going inside and I’m making you Sleepytime Tea. You’re clearly running on fumes.” She forced her mom to turn back towards the house. “Did you eat dinner?”

“I had a snack.”

“You’re going to have dinner.” As her mom walked up the stairs, she turned to Malachi and whispered, “Meet me here at nine for the library.”

“Alright,” he smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek before she ran up the stairs to usher her yawning mother into the house.

[takingtea-and-tellingtales]

2, 3 (Oscar Wilde doesn't count), 4 (or for this one), 6, 24, 25

2. things that motivate you

having someone waiting. there’s no better motivation for me than knowing someone wants to hear what happens next. my current fic project (the sequel to Some Tricks of Desperation) has hit so many roadblocks and now requires almost a page-one rewrite, but some people told me they were excited for it, and so I’ll make sure it gets done. i do the same thing with my original fiction - i have someone to send each chapter to as i finish it to remind me that someone else is waiting on me to finish it. 

3. name three favourite writers

okay it’s just cruel i can’t include oscar, but i will do what i can. 

1 -   patricia c. wrede (the enchanted forest chronicles changed me as a person and i still re-read them pretty much once a year)

2 -  diana wynne jones (howl’s moving castle, the worlds of chrestomanci... need i say more?)

3 - neil gaiman & terry pratchett (i knowww it’s two people, but i would just evaporate without my copy of good omens and i think their collaborative work is distinct from each of their individual publications) 

4. name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why

howwww am i supposed to answer this without talking about dorian gray??? 

1 - mary shelley - what can i say about the queen of gothic that hasn’t been said better by somebody else? frankenstein got right under my skin when i read it in high school and kind of just stayed there (i study the afterlife of victorian science and monster literature, now). the way mary shelley writes about monsters and science and obsession colours all of my writing. 

2 -  douglas adams - there’s a line in the beginning of the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy that goes “the ships hung in the air in much the same way that bricks don’t.” i was nine years old when i heard that line for the first time - it made no sense and yet perfect sense all at the same time. retrospectively, this is when i decided that i wanted to be a writer. 

3 - guillermo del toro - hear me out. i know he’s known as a director, but he also writes or co-writes most of his films and no one has changed the way i think about monsters or how to tell a story like del toro.  

6. how did writing change you?

i’m not sure “changed” really applies, since I started writing “books” (such as they were) when i was in the sixth grade. i feel like writing grew with me; as i grew up and developed, so did my writing. but i suppose it gave me somewhere to go when i was (am) stressed or anxious, that i have desperately needed over the years. a lot of my early writing with stargate atlantis fanfic (all in notebooks, not online anywhere) which i think allowed me to take ownership of something i loved when it disappointed me (i’ll be over dr. beckett’s death when i die) and inspired me to start working on original fiction. 

24. favourite scene you’ve ever written 

for a fanfic? probably the scene in the bath in Some Tricks of Desperation. the sequel has one i really like too, but... spoilers... it’s the epilogue (which is the only thing i kept between drafts)

for original fic? there’s an alleyway fight scene that is possibly the only usable part of the first draft of one of my novels. i read it whenever i feel like scrapping the whole project 

25. favourite line you’ve ever written 

oh gosh... i don’t really know... maybe... 

“But, here in the icy halls and flickering half-light of the Arkham labyrinth, with the screams of the damned a constant chorus in his head, all he really wanted was to go home and curl up in his own bed in the apartment tucked behind the neon sign that cast a quiet green glow over the lonely room.” 

because it encapsulates my weird obsession with (1) arkham asylum and (2) ed’s apartment in gotham