#and also @curry and gunpowder

[wakanai]

gushing, screaming, kicking my feet in the air~

PPL ARE RBING A POST I MADE THAT I WAS EMBARASSED ABT OFKSIEGN ...and they like it?

[saltyrunawaynight]

 If you're planning a visit to Goa, you're in for a treat. This tropical paradise is more than just beautiful beaches and exciting nightlife; it's also a foodie's dream. What could be better than exploring Goa on two wheels and finding the best bike-friendly cafes and eateries along the way? With a trustworthy bike on rent in Goa, you can embark on a culinary trip unlike any other. So, let's get into how you can find and enjoy Goa's top bike-friendly restaurants, with a dash of comedy to keep things light-hearted. 

Why Choose a Bike in Goa?

Before we begin our culinary tour, let's discuss why riding in Goa is such a great choice. Biking allows you to explore at your own leisure, uncover hidden gems, and simply find parking, which can be difficult in popular tourist areas. It's also environmentally friendly and economical. With so many bike rental in Goa, you'll be able to find the right ride for your vacation. Now, on to the good stuff: the food.

Finding Bike-Friendly Cafes and Restaurants

Goa is full of cafes and eateries that welcome bikers with open arms. Here's how to locate them: 

1. Do Your Research

To find popular cafes and restaurants in Goa, use websites like TripAdvisor, Zomato, and Google Maps. Look for reviews and ratings, as well as comments about parking and bike-friendliness. Many places in Goa are well-equipped to handle bikers, offering easy parking and even discounts for those arriving on two wheels. 

2. Ask the Locals

When in doubt, consult the locals. Goans are friendly and always willing to help. Whether it's the person who rents you the bike or the shopkeeper, they can give you the inside scoop on the best bike-friendly places to eat. 

3. Look for Signs

Many cafes and eateries in Goa advertise bike parking or biker discounts. Keep a look out for these indicators while you investigate. They're a solid clue that the place is bike-friendly. 

4. Use Social Media

Check Instagram and Facebook for recommendations from other bikers. Look for hashtags such as #Bike rental in Goa, #GoaCafes, and #GoaEats. Social networking is an excellent resource for finding popular and hidden motorcycle hangouts. 

Top Bike-Friendly Cafes and Restaurants in Goa

Now that you know where to look for them, here are some of the top bike-friendly cafes and restaurants in Goa. Each of these locations provides a distinctive experience, ideal for replenishing after a long ride. 

1. Baba Au Rhum, Anjuna

Baba Au Rhum, nestled in the lush greenery of Anjuna, is a biker's paradise. This charming café, known for its delectable burgers, pizzas, and pastries, is a must-visit. The ride to Anjuna itself is scenic and enjoyable. 

2. Gunpowder, Assagao

If you're yearning for South Indian delicacies, Gunpowder in Assagao is the place to go. This popular restaurant features a separate bike parking area and a lovely garden setting. The menu includes delectable meals such as Kerala beef fried, pork vindaloo, and Malabar paratha. It's a nice place to relax and enjoy a meal while taking in the quiet ambiance. 

3. Black Sheep Bistro, Panaji

Located in the heart of Panaji, Black Sheep Bistro is a contemporary restaurant known for its innovative cuisine and excellent service. The restaurant provides convenient bike parking and a cozy ambiance. Their menu is a delightful fusion of Goan and international flavors, with dishes like chorizo-stuffed calamari and Goan prawn curry. 

4. The Fisherman’s Wharf, Cavelossim

For anyone traveling to South Goa, The Fisherman’s Wharf in Cavelossim is a must-visit. This riverside eatery has enough bike parking and magnificent views of the Sal River. The menu features Goan specialties such as prawn balchão, fish curry, and bebinca. It's an excellent place to unwind and eat some of the greatest seafood in Goa. 

5. Artjuna Café, Anjuna

Arjuna Café is a paradise for bikers and art enthusiasts alike. This café in Anjuna features a large bike parking area as well as a bright, artsy ambiance. The menu includes healthy and delicious options such as hummus platters, fresh salads, and homemade smoothies. It's a nice place to refuel while perusing their store and art gallery. 

Pro Tips for a Smooth Ride

Here are some professional ideas to enhance your bike touring experience in Goa :

1. Book in Advance

Book your bike rental in Goa in advance, especially during busy tourist seasons. Websites such as Rent A Bike Goa, Ziphop, and Wheelstreet provide a variety of bikes to pick from. Book early to ensure you receive the bike you want. 

2. Inspect Your Bike

Before you hit the road, give your bike a complete inspection. Inspect the brakes, tires, lights, and fuel. Make sure you have a helmet and all required documentation. Safety first! 

3. Carry Essentials

Pack light, but bring basics like sunscreen, water, a first-aid kit, and a phone charger. Don't forget your camera to record the amazing moments along the route. 

4. Stay Hydrated

Goa can get scorching, so stay hydrated. Stop into local cafés and shacks for some refreshing drinks and nibbles. Coconut water is an excellent natural hydration source. 

5. Respect Local Culture

When visiting Goa, please respect the local culture and ecology. Avoid trash, obey traffic laws, and be courteous to the people. It increases your experience and has a favorable impact. 

Hidden Gems to Explore

Goa is brimming with hidden jewels waiting to be discovered. Here are some bike-friendly cafes and eateries off the usual path: 

1. Eva Café, Anjuna

Eva Café, perched on a cliff overlooking the Arabian Sea, provides stunning views while maintaining a peaceful atmosphere. The café provides excellent bike parking and serves delicious Mediterranean-inspired cuisine. It's the ideal place to enjoy a lunch with a view. 

2. Café Chocolatti, Candolim

Café Chocolatti, located in a garden setting, is a beautiful destination for breakfast or a midday treat. The café has handy bike parking and a comfortable atmosphere. Sample their handcrafted chocolates, pastries, and refreshing smoothies. 

3. Spice Goa, Mapusa

If you enjoy spicy Goan cuisine, go to Spice Goa in Mapusa. This eatery has plenty of bike parking and a pleasant, inviting ambiance. The menu includes typical Goan foods such as sorpotel, xacuti, and fish curry. It's a must-see for an authentic taste of Goa. 

Conclusion

Exploring Goa's bike-friendly cafes and eateries is an unforgettable experience. With a reliable bike rental in Goa, you can explore the gorgeous routes, uncover hidden jewels, and indulge in wonderful cuisine. Remember to plan your itinerary, be careful, and enjoy the adventure with a sense of humor.

So be ready, hit the road, and let Goa's culinary delights unroll before you. Happy biking, and bon appétit.

[krishnavegrestaurant]

Savoring the Flavors of Goa: Home Delivery Services and Famous Veg Restaurants

Goa, often referred to as the "Pearl of the Orient," is renowned for its stunning beaches, vibrant culture, and delectable cuisine. While the state is celebrated for its seafood delicacies, it's also a haven for vegetarian food enthusiasts. In this article, we'll explore the world of Famous Veg Restaurant in Goa, highlighting some famous vegetarian restaurants that allow you to savor the flavors of this beautiful state from the comfort of your home.

The Rise of Home Delivery Services in India:

In recent years, India has witnessed a surge in the demand for home delivery services, primarily due to changing lifestyles and the convenience they offer. Goa, with its eclectic culinary scene, has kept pace with this trend by embracing home delivery services. Whether you're a resident or a tourist looking to indulge in the local cuisine, there's an array of options available to suit your preferences.

Famous Vegetarian Restaurants in Goa:

Vinayak Family Restaurant: Located in the heart of Goa, Vinayak Family Restaurant is a celebrated name among vegetarians. Known for its diverse menu featuring Indian, Goan, and international vegetarian dishes, they offer a variety of options, from flavorful curries to scrumptious snacks. Their home delivery services make it easy for you to enjoy their food in the comfort of your home or vacation rental.

Gunpowder: Gunpowder, nestled in the charming village of Assagao, is an iconic eatery that showcases the essence of Goan and South Indian cuisine. Their menu boasts an array of vegetarian dishes, including spicy curries, dosas, and fusion creations that promise to tantalize your taste buds. With their efficient home delivery services, you can experience their culinary magic wherever you are in Goa.

Anoshka's: For those seeking a fusion of global and Goan flavors, Anoshka's is a top choice. Their menu features vegetarian dishes that combine the best of international and local cuisine, making it a delight for foodies with diverse tastes. Enjoy their delectable offerings through their home delivery services.

Suzie's: Suzie's, located in the scenic village of Assolna, is renowned for its charming ambiance and an extensive vegetarian menu. From traditional Goan thalis to fusion dishes that infuse local and continental flavors, Suzie's offers a memorable dining experience. With their reliable home delivery services, you can savor the authentic tastes of Goa without leaving your doorstep.

Conclusion: Goa's vibrant food culture extends well beyond its seafood offerings, catering to vegetarians with a rich and diverse array of flavors. The advent of home delivery services has made it easier than ever to experience the culinary delights of this beautiful state. Whether you're a local resident or a visitor, don't miss the opportunity to explore the famous vegetarian restaurants in Goa and enjoy their delightful creations in the comfort of your own space.

[banana-boots]

Relationship status: polyam but currently dating 1 person

Favourite color: pink, easily

Song stuck in my head: nothing for once

Last song I listened to: old king cole by the mechanisms

Three favourite foods: chicken katsu curry, chocolate cake and cookie dough ice cream

Last thing I googled: the song dem bones (the one that hellfire by the mechanisms is based off)

Dream trip: japan probably (or maybe america like at universal or one of the disney parks)

Anything I want right now: to continue writing my werewolf!tim sequel fic and also for the movie on the tv to hurry up and finish so that the one after it (the one i actually wanna see) can start already

Tags (no pressure tho!): @strawberryamanita @gunpowder-tim @charlataninred & whoever else would like to (my brain is empty rn sorry to the moots that i didnt tag)

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to know better!  

Tagged by: @tastethesetears ty ♥

Relationship status: in a long term monogamous relationship

Favorite colour: purple

Song stuck in head: 🎵 ‘i love you but i love me more’ by Marina 🎵

Last song I listened to: …. idk i listen to pdcasts mainly, so i guess the latest episode of maintenance phase??

Three favorite foods: obsessed with roasted cauliflower at the moment. More generally I love and usually go for vegan ramen or

Last thing I googled: link for xo, kitty episodes

Dream trip: i’m not big on travelling but i’d love to go back to Amsterdam. Also getting more and more interested in visiting South Korea.

Anything I want right now: for all my friends to live in the same building as me

Tagging (no pressure): @piecesofbrokenrecollections @the-apocalypse-is-cancelled @katedoesntexist @aarontheory @princessegrenouille @jtownraindancer @pirategf @victorianpining @shinybrandon @holoxam

[armthearmour]

Book Review: Agincourt in Context

Published in 2016 by Routledge Press, Agincourt in Context was first compiled as a special edition of the Journey of Medieval History. The volume is composed of eight papers presented to the British public at a conference at the University of Southampton in August of 2015, commemorating the 600th anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt. This conference was organized by Professor Anne Curry of the University of Southampton, who also wrote the volume’s forward, but the work was compiled and edited by Rémy Ambühl and Craig Lambert.

Each chapter of this work focuses on a separate piece of the puzzle that is Agincourt. The first chapter, entitled “The military careerist in fourteenth-century England,” written by Andrew Ayton, seeks to contextualize the military institutions which allowed the English success at Agincourt to occur. In particular, the management systems and recruitment mechanisms employed by the English crown in the fourteenth century are argued to have paved the way for “military careerists” in the late 14th century. Though this paper only makes use of English language scholarship, it relies most heavily on the primary source material for its arguments. In particular, patent rolls are very heavily featured.

Chapter two, entitled “Henry V and the Crossing to France: Reconstructing Naval Operations for the Agincourt Campaign, 1415” was written by Craig Lambert, co-editor of this volume. Lambert seeks to unpack the naval logistics which underpinned Henry V’s invasion of France, an area of the campaign which the author sees as understudied. In particular, Lambert focuses on three elements of Henry V’s naval operations: the presence of foreign ships in the English armada, the process of gathering English ships, and the use of naval patrols to protect this armada as it gathered. Both English and French language scholarship are included in this article, as well as primary documents in English, French, and Latin. Payment rolls are given particular attention by this author.

Chapter three is entitled “To Agincourt and Beyond! The Martial Affinity of Edward of Langley, Second Duke of York.” Written by Gary Paul Baker, this paper attempts to track the careers of the personal retinue of Edward Langley. As a leading captain at the Battle of Agincourt, and one of its casualties, it is argued that the men who served under him (many of whom can be recognized in the textual sources both prior to and after Agincourt) offer a unique view into the careers of the English soldiers who served at Agincourt. Like the first paper, this chapter exclusively used English language scholarship. The most important documentary sources for this paper were muster and payment rolls.

Dan Spencer’s “‘The Scourge of the Stones’: English Gunpowder Artillery at the Siege of Harfleur” serves as this work’s fourth chapter. Harfleur is a landmark in the history of English warfare as the first large-scale use of gunpowder artillery by the English in a siege. Gunpowder weaponry would go on to be used in every major military operation undertaken by the English. The focuses of this chapter are the technological advancements which occurred to allow gunpowder weaponry to play such a major role at Harfleur, and a detailed assessment of the efficacy of the English guns during the siege. Spencer frequently references English language scholarship when discussing the general development of gunpowder weaponry, and relies on accounts of the siege of Harfleur and payment receipts for the other analytical elements of his argument.

Written by co-editor Rémy Ambühl, this work’s fifth chapter is entitled “Henry V and the Administration of Justice: The Surrender of Meaux (May 1422).” In a break from the pattern established by the previous authors, Ambühl seeks to examine a facet of Henry V’s campaign from the French perspective rather than the English. Among the French chroniclers, Henry V garnered a reputation as a “paragon of justice.” Ambühl’s paper seeks to understand why the English king had such a reputation among the French by examining his conduct after the surrender of the town of Meaux in 1422. Ambühl argues that the defenders of Meaux breached the “code of honor” of warfare in their defense, and that Henry V’s harsh punishment of the defenders was seen by contemporaries as an act of justice. For this paper, Ambühl draws on both English and French scholarship, and relies heavily on both English and French accounts of the Siege of Meaux and its aftermath.

This work’s sixth chapter, written by Adam Chapman, is entitled “The Posthumous Knighting of Dafydd Gam.” This paper argues that the Welsh esquire Dafydd Gam, who is commonly referred to as Sir Dafydd Gam in modern sources and who participated and died in the Battle of Agincourt, was not knighted before or after the battle as he lay dying, as some modern accounts suggest. Instead, the author points to a number of sources contemporary to the battle which refer to Gam as an esquire even after the battle to suggest that this “posthumous knighting” of Gam was fabricated in the mid 15th century by Gam’s grandson, William Herbert, in an attempt to assert his status. In addition to the aforementioned English and Welsh contemporary sources, this paper also draws upon English language scholarship.

This work’s seventh and penultimate chapter, written by Andy King, is entitled “‘Then a Great Misfortune Befell them’: The Laws of War on Surrender and the Killing of Prisoners on the Battlefield in the Hundred Years War.” This paper seeks to contextualize Henry V’s actions in slaughtering his prisoners after the Battle of Agincourt with an examination of similar events at other points in the Hundred Years War. Ultimately, while King acknowledges that such conduct was theoretically against the “code of chivalry,” he argues that it was viewed as an “unfortunate necessity” by contemporaries. This paper references both English and French language scholarship, as well as relying heavily upon contemporary accounts of battles and their aftermaths.

Presented by João Gouveia Monteiro, Miguel Gomes Martins, and Tiago Viúla de Faria, the eighth and final chapter of Agincourt in Context is entitled “Another 1415: Portugal’s Military Landscape at the time of Agincourt.” Though this paper appears unrelated to the broader context of this work, the author’s attempt to place the action of King João I in his 1415 crusade against the Muslims in Ceuta, North Africa, against a backdrop of evolving Anglo-Portuguese relations, emphasizing a distancing between Portuguese and England in the fifteenth century. This paper also examines the military reforms which took place under King João I’s reign which allowed him to embark upon his crusade. This paper includes references to English, Spanish, and Portuguese language scholarship, but relies most heavily upon an analysis of documents from the library of King Duarte I.

Each chapter includes extensive footnotes, and while no consolidated bibliography is included, the works cited by each paper are included at the end of each chapter. An index is included at the end of the work.

Agincourt in Context includes a number of exceptionally interesting papers which help contextualize the famous Agincourt campaign of Henry V. The ninth chapter, however, is unnecessary, and while interesting in its own right, does not belong in an anthology dedicated to discussing Agincourt such as this. Additionally, no account of the battle itself is provided anywhere in the text. While this is not a fact which inherently detracts from the text, it does necessitate the reader being familiar with the events of the Agincourt campaign prior to reading Agincourt in Context. With that in mind, this work is extremely useful, and should be included on the shelves of amateur enthusiasts and dedicated historians of the Hundred Years War alike.

[lowkeyed1]

Tagged by @symphony-in-silver - thank you! rules: tag nine people you want to know better. three ships: Loki/Mobius/Sylvie (it's time for a good OT3), Loki/Tony Stark (the classics never die), Regina/Whitney (Lily's Garden, i've been shipping it for a while and i think it's actually set sail?) last song: Daniel Radcliffe - She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain (When She Comes) last movie: Gunpowder Milkshake - any time women are kicking ass and men are triggered by it, i know i'm in for a good time. see also Birds of Prey, Ghostbusters Answer the Call, Fury Road, etc etc etc currently reading: Shotgun Boy (webtoons) and The Shield Codex (by cenobitic-anchorite) currently watching: Arrested Development, lol currently consuming: my last nerve currently craving: something sweet... cutting back on sugar is a bitch tagging @mareebird @maeve-curry-writes @flowersnteacups @portraitoftheoddity @adhd-loki @imlokigodofhorses @amara-lorena @mothrazoom @scyllaya

[science-lings]

For your Links: are there certain smells that they love? any that they’ll avoid at all costs? I just think it’s cool how smells can make us remember super specific things in our life that we would have otherwise never thought about again :)

Sage cannot stand the smell of burning red meat. I bet you can imagine why! They never make meals with meat that aren’t heavily spiced for that reason. They’re fine with it being in soups and curries and spicy skewers but they hate the smell of it cooking on its own. They also hate that damp cave smell.

On the other hand, they love the smell of korok seeds and ghosts. You know that teal fire that surrounds spirits? Yeah, that shit has a smell and Sage just really vibes with it.

King, Hunter, and Guardian all love the smell of pumpkin. Especially pumpkin soup and pumpkin curry. It reminds them all of home and once Sage made pumpkin bread and they were a little surprised by the amount hype they got for it.

Hunter is a little weird with smell, being a dog and all. He can go from ‘Ilia liked these flowers and now they make me sad’ to ‘yay stinky goats’.

General freaks out over certain kinds of perfume, like normal fruity sweet perfume is fine but if there’s a lot of floral notes and it’s really strong he has to leave so that he can have a panic attack without an audience. He also doesn’t like certain types of magic smells and burning wood makes him feel kinda sad bc of the whole great deku tree thing.

Captain both loves and hates the smell of the ocean. Before when the water was mysterious evil juice that only monsters could survive in, it didn’t smell that good, but once it was normal seawater he started to absolutely love it. He doesn’t like the smell of gunpowder. He’s been shot out of a canon too many times for him not to associate the experience with it.

Hero loves the smell of rain and thunderstorms. He finds it super calming and will literally just vibe next to a window for hours if it’s raining just smelling and listening to it. He liked rain even before he got the song of storms.

That’s all I can come up with for now, that was a super interesting question!

[aliresix]

 I’m watching One Piece

Episodes 1-50

In the very first scenes, Nami doesn’t have such an exaggerated body. But as time goes by it gets worse.

For some reason I think Usopp and Hanji (from snk) would get along well??? Just… I don’t know, science buddies and major nonbinary vibes.

I’m dying they’re spelling Luffy as “Rufy”. H e l p

How does Zoro talk in an understandable way so casually while having a fucking sword in his mouth????????

I can’t look at the tag for this fandom and I won’t be able to for 3 to 5 months. I don’t think I’ll resist that long.

Ep. 45 was just everyone going “awww baby’s first wanted poster”

Now that I think about it, how is taking several trees with you on a boat a good choice, Nami?

I want to appreciate all the voice actors

Luffy is the master of sleeping when he’s in danger/has almost died.

Zoro was straight up ready to lose an arm just to get a good sword. And they don’t have - yet - a doctor with them? What

Fuckin hell ep 50 gave me a dejavu but I love my lying son Usopp so worth it

Episodes 50-100

MY BABY SANJI FOUND THE ALL BLUE. Good for him, good for him.

Luffy. Luffy I love you. But how did you survive after getting struck by lightning and falling from something so tall??????

The marine trying to set the Merry Going on fire while it rains: yeah we brought gunpowder but we need more cause it got wet VS That one guy from Buggy’s crew: trying to light a match under the rain.

Every time someone learns they are pirates they’re super scared. then they get to know them and they’re like “ah”.

Please tell me at some point Luffy has/will come back to the whale. The poor thing deserves it.

LUFFY WHAT MAKES YOU THINK EATING WORMS IS A GOOD IDEA

Oh my god Luffy sleep-talked and the others anwered I can’t

Zoro: * is about to get turned into a wax statue*. Also Zoro: gotta look good while I’m at it 

Luffy went up a vertical mountain, in the snow, barely dressed and barefoot. While carrying two people. My boy is strong as fuck.

Me: no I won’t cry. Chopper’s whole backstory: hi.

Only Luffy’s brother could not be bother by Luffy having a reindeer in his cruise.

I want one of those turtle-seal things. I’ll keep it with me and cherish it forever.

Episodes 100-150

Places Luffy has fallen asleep at: a pit he created, the middle of a square, a beach after falling from a cliff.

Luffy, insulting a crocodile by calling it a “damned banana”. Gotta love him.

Luffy: almost dies. Also Luffy: M E A T

The lesbian energy just radiating from every interaction between Nami and Vivi is killing me (the bath scene??? help)

Love that despite them risking their own life, Nami still puts her maps first.

 They just keep rescuing people they find in the sea and help them out

This time they’re just chilling around in the boat of the people trying to catch them (also I kinda want to cook/eat curry rn)

Their reactions when Luffy was interested in a book were priceless

I can’t believe this old man  defeated the marine with GOATS

Hey remember that one time the Merry Going came out of a rainbow mist flying?

hOW IS KEEPING A CIGARETTE WHEN YOU’RE IN A DIVING SUIT A GOOD IDEA, SANJI??????’

Mh so falling asleep in critical situations runs in the family, right, Ace?

Episodes 150-200

The only other reaction to the straw hats is "these idiots are dumb and therefore weak" and then getting your ass beaten.

THEY JUST GOT YEETED IN THE SKY BY WATER AND LUFFY'S LIKE "FUNNY". WHAT?

What the actual fuck is happening in the clouds I'm very concerned

They said a lot of money but Sanji converted it in rice I’m dying over here

Single parent Usopp having to deal with all the problem children (expect Robin. In this house we stan Robin.) is a mood

Same thing goes for Nami hitting that dude in the face with a boat cause the price was too high

BIg brain time and it’s just “what if Robin knew how to fight with a sword”. She’d be even more unstoppable. Also woman with sword so

Luffy: gets attacked by dangerous wild animal. Luffy’s first thought: Hey Sanji can we eat it?

Once again, Luffy’s priority are well set: throw that golden necklace away, look for meat instead.

Fellas is it gay to trust a man you never met with the lives of your whole village, get mad at him and then forgive him while running in the water and telling him you’ll wait for him, and protect your land thinking that you need to be there for when he'll return? Asking for a friend.

WHY DID THAT ONE TELL THAT NORLAND WAS A LIAR FUCK THAT ONE IN PARTICULAR

I did some calculations (that are probably worng but shhh nobody needs to know that) and anyways remember the big golden ball attached to Luff’s arm for, like, 5 episodes? Well, it should weight somewhere between 140-150 kg and 200 kg. WHAT. Luffy supremacy, once again.

Pfft look at those idiots trying to escape with the gold while the citizens run after them to give them more.

How isn't anyone in Navarone recognizing them istg it doesn't make sense they are wanted by the law

Chopper decided to risk his life for the lives of complete strangers. What a good doctor.

[mariocki]

As a child, when we learnt in school about the Gunpowder Plot, we were taught that one of the conspirators sent a letter to a Catholic Lord warning him not to attend parliament (the reality of the letter is more complex, it's highly unlikely any of the conspirators would have written it as the recipient, Lord Monteagle, although Catholic, was also known to be loyal to the crown; in fact he may have written it himself, to curry favour but i digress)

Anyway, that's what we were taught, and I always thought it was extremely dumb. Why warn a Lord about your plan to blow up all the Lords, you're just asking for trouble. What fools, what rank amateurs, I thought.

Anyway, the point is that grown up me was idly considering this memory when I suddenly realised that in the (admittedly unlikely) event that I was about to blow up the house of Lords, I would be absolutely incapable of doing it without first sending Michael Cashman a little note suggesting he take a holiday.

[knit-wear-it]

A Veterinarian Wasn’t Going to Cut it This Time.

Mood: After Harley shoots the Joker in the chest, Marty finds him. Circa the Harlequin, Chapter 21

Rating: M / Somber AF.

A Veterinarian Wasn’t Going To Cut It This Time, a Tumblr Exclusive

Marty searched street for the address Bruno texted him some thirty minutes earlier, his eyeballs stinging with exhaustion. As was always the case, he was running on snippets of information and slivers of a plan, knowing more than most but never allowed to see the full picture. Marty also knew J well enough not to question him—if there was a person on earth who could be trusted to pull something off, it was the Joker.

When he spotted the house number Bruno texted him, Marty stomped down on the brake, his little red camaro squealing to a stop as he squinted at an otherwise inconspicuous Downtown townhouse.

Here was what Marty knew: he knew Harley had been kidnapped and subsequently recovered from Victor Zsasz. He knew once J learned she’d been taken by Victor, he’d promptly lost all interest in the jobs they’d been carefully plotting for months. And he knew J would be as pissed as Harley no doubt was about the entire situation. 

Those two were a powder keg waiting to be lit. Marty had never seen a person get under J’s skin the way Harley did. Shit, never in a million years would he have guessed a woman could distract J the way she did. But that was Harley for you. She showed up out of left field, beautiful, brilliant, ruthless, and equipped with a silver tongue that rivalled the fucking Joker’s. 

Marty dug into his jacket pocket for a small baggie of white powder, dumping some out on the back of his hand and sniffing it up. Trying to keep up with J without narcotics was nearly impossible. Even Bruno, who was as straight-laced as they came, had been popping adderall like candy corn all week to stay on the ball. 

The coke didn’t ease Marty’s exhaustion, which was bone deep by now, but it did make him more alert, wired and capable of plowing ahead. Hopefully capable of going toe-to-toe with a pissed off J and coming out of it alive. A genuinely angry Joker was something that made even Marty nervous after all these years, and Bruno’s follow up text about J’s current state of mind had sent ice-cold dread flooding Marty’s veins.

He ain’t happy. 

Outside, there was a light dusting of snow on the ground and flouries in the air. Marty hurried across the street, leaning into the chemical high for courage as he tried to anticipate what awaited him in that house. But when he started up the townhouse’s front steps, he noticed blood in the snow. Fat, bright red drops, still fresh like they’d been there less than a few minutes. 

Marty paused on the steps, the hairs at the back of his neck standing on end as he slowly turned and squinted at the snowy sidewalk. There was more fresh blood scattered in a path to the street, disappearing into a pair of snowy tire tracks. 

His heart began leaping anxiously in his throat as he stared at that bloody snow, all kinds of scenarios flashing before his mind’s eye. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, pulling his gun.

He rushed up the rest of the steps, a dreadful sense of urgency prompting him to throw his shoulder into the door instead of bothering with the handle. It took three tries before the wood splintered and door swung open, and the taste of gunpowder from a recently fired weapon immediately filled Marty’s mouth.

His eyes widened, and he froze completely, forgetting to breathe as reality shivered around him, the scene in front of him impossible to comprehend. 

There was blood everywhere. A pool of it on the floor at the foot of the stairs, smeared across the hardwood floors, messy handprints on the wall.

And halfway down the stairs was J, sprawled out with his head thrown back, the white column of his throw standing out. He was bleeding from his mouth and multiple gunshot wounds—his chest, his shoulder, his thigh—and he wasn’t moving. 

“Fuck!” Marty croaked, his voice breaking as he staggered forward and pitched forward over J. “Shit, shit. Shit!”

Marty jabbed two fingers into J’s neck, searching for a pulse. It was there but it was weak, and Marty couldn’t tell if he was breathing. He slapped both hands down on J’s chest in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding. His white shirt was soaked scarlet, the carpeted stairs beneath him a rapidly spreading stain of maroon. 

“J!” Marty snapped, desperate. “Mate, you stay the fuck alive, ye hear me?” 

Blood was still pouring from the wound, making Marty’s palms slip across the Joker’s chest. 

“Fuck,” Marty scrambled to get his phone out of his pocket. A veterinarian wasn’t going to cut it this time, nor was a crooked doctor with a bag of tricks. Taking the Joker to an ER was a false start, as was any help from Penguin or the mob. 

That left one option. A favor Marty had curried behind J’s back which might now save his life.

“Bugger, fuck, bollocks, shit,” Marty sputtered, finding the number in his phone. “Don’t worry, mate, I got help coming,” he insisted, taking the Joker’s pulse again. It was slowing. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ die on me, Jack,” Marty huffed, his throat thick with emotion. “You absolute wanker. Don’t you fuckin’ die on me, Jack!”

A/N: Little something I’ve been hanging onto.

Hope you enjoy <3 

[ead13]

Happy Trails, Old Friend

I don’t know why I got the urge to write about Branwen dying (of old age and very happy, I can assure you!), but here it is. Also, Arthur has a soft spot for Kieran and you can’t convince me otherwise.

               “Papa! Papa! Something’s wrong with Branny!”

               Kieran could feel a knot of dread form in the pit of his stomach. This news shouldn’t surprise him; he’d noticed how Branwen was faltering, and when he really thought about it (which he rarely had time to do now that he was juggling five kids and counting), his longtime companion was old. Actually, very old. Considering Branwen had been middle-aged, probably in his teens when he was assigned to him in the army, that meant he had lived a damn good, long life for a horse.

               Knowing that didn’t make the thought of saying goodbye any easier. No doubt Becky was the bearer of bad news.

               “Let me have a look at ‘im,” he answered quickly, dropping the curry comb he had been using to brush one of his charges. Still, he did his best to remain calm for his daughter’s sake as he closed the door to the stall. No need to start the little girl crying. Before he could take her hand, she was running on ahead to the pasture where Branwen spent his golden years grazing in peace. Even from a distance, he could see the flaxen roan horse was lying on the ground. He could hear the sound of weak braying carrying across the field. No, this wasn’t good at all.

               By now, Leah had heard the commotion and come running from across the yard where she had been feeding the chickens. “Papa, what’s wrong?”

               Kieran stopped and waited for his second-eldest to join them, but it wasn’t long before Becky was tugging on his arm. Linked together, they finally arrived at Branwen’s side. The old boy’s breathing was labored, more of a shudder than anything. It didn’t take more than a second to understand the situation. “Girls, you oughtta say yer goodbyes to ol’ Branwen.”

               “You mean he’s gonna die?” Becky looked at him with wide-eyed horror.

               He reached up and rubbed his beard, trying to pass off his anxious energy so they wouldn’t catch it. “Horses don’t live as long as people do, sweetie. As far as horses go, Branwen is a real old man. Most of ‘em don’t even live to be this old. He’s had a good life, a very happy one here with us.”

               “We can’t help him?” Leah wondered sadly, reaching out to pet the quivering animal gently. Becky followed suit.

               Kieran just shook his head, gritting his teeth to keep his emotions in check. “That’s just how it is. But he’s lucky that in the end he’s safe and loved and taken care of. Not every horse gets that.” He was trying to encourage himself just as much as his daughters at this point. The only thing making this easier was the heart-warming way they hugged the ailing creature, burying their faces into his well-groomed coat. They had grown up with Branwen, riding the gentle horse when they were still small enough for him to carry their weight. Yes, so much love. All the love he deserved.

               “You two take yer time sayin’ goodbye. I’m gonna go find yer ma and let her know.” More than that, though, he was going to see if he could convince Mary-Beth to take the kids to Uncle Arthur’s farm for a visit so he could put his dear friend out of his misery without having to worry about traumatizing his kids. Also, so he could cry about it in private.

 VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

                 He thought he’d have to work harder to convince her, but Mary-Beth was a saint. Even juggling five children under the age of 10 and half-way towards their sixth, she quickly agreed to give him the space he needed. Emma went to say her goodbyes too before being packed up in the wagon, but Rachel and Kieran were too young to comprehend the situation. Mary-Beth would have visited the old horse too, but she had her hands more than full. Instead, she pulled him into a long embrace. “I’m so sorry, dear. I know Branwen means the world to you. When I get back and the kids get settled, we can talk.”

               “Thanks, darlin’, for everything,” he murmured, squeezing her tight. “I think I’m gonna need it. That and a bottle o’ whiskey…”

               When she released him, she found Becky and Leah at her skirts. “Papa, are you okay?”

He kneeled down to pull both of his girls into a big hug. “This is gonna be very hard for me. I love Branwen very much. But he’s sufferin’, and it wouldn’t be fair to make ‘im keep sufferin’. Sometimes when ya love somethin’ you gotta let it go.” Damn, his eyes were getting misty!

“Should I stay with you?” Becky wondered, looking up at him and no doubt seeing every hint of distress in his face.

He gave a small smile. “No, sweetie. Sometimes ya hafta have some space away from other people. But when you both get back, I’m gonna need another hug, okay?”

“Okay.”

Finally, everyone was packed up and the wagon was heading down the road. That just left Kieran wrapped in an abnormal silence. He went to go pull out his shotgun. This had to be a clean kill, but as he reached for the firearm, he realized his hands were shaking badly. They continued to do so as he checked the ammunition and gunpowder. How the hell was he supposed to be able to do this?

In the end he decided that he’d just sit with Branwen until sunset, maybe braid his mane one last time, see if he’d eat an apple. He’d wait until his friend was asleep before ending it.

 VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

                 There were many tears in those precious hours, and he felt bad for it, as if it would upset Branwen even more. His breathing wasn’t much better, but at least his braying stopped as his favorite human settled down next to him. Kieran had suspected long ago that Branwen couldn’t really see anymore, having watched him bump into things. He always reacted to his voice, though, and that brought him some level of peace. He couldn’t eat the apple, just didn’t have the energy even though it was his favorite. This really was the end…

               Kieran was so in the moment that he nearly missed the sound of hoof beats. Who in the world would be coming now? It was too late in the day for any customer to return for their horse, and the kids surely couldn’t be back this early. He didn’t really have the energy to get up and look. Once he got up, he’d have to pull the trigger.

               “Kieran, I figured you’d be draggin’ yer heels.”

               The familiar voice caused him to startle. “A-Arthur?”

               He looked up to find the imposing figure of Arthur Morgan towering over him as robust as ever despite the onset of some graying hairs. “Heard ‘bout ol’ Branwen when yer brood showed up at my place. Puttin’ a horse to rest ain’t no one-man job, so I thought I’d come over and assist. I’m assumin’…” he gestured to the wide expanse of land their ranch covered, “there’ll need to be a proper burial.”

               “Huh, yer right. Guess I didn’t think of that,” Kieran admitted, looking downcast. He turned his gaze to the sinking sun. “I ain’t got any more time left, do I? Not if I hafta get this done before they get back.”

               “I reckon not. I also reckon…” he paused, scratching his head awkwardly. “I mean, if ya want, I could be the one to pull the trigger.”

               It wasn’t the idea of the finality of a trigger pull; it was all the idea that Arthur was kind enough to offer. He lost it. “I’m sorry, I thought I was done with this!” he tried to explain, wiping the tears now streaming from his eyes as he stumbled to his feet. He didn’t want his emotions to disturb Branwen, who had fallen asleep. “It ain’t like I’m losin’ my wife or my kids, I got no reason to be actin’ like this…”

               Arthur put a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Kieran, look at me.” The man struggled to obey, but Arthur refused to continue until he did. “I still remember how hard it was to lose Boadicea. I’d had that horse for a long time. But you and Branwen, even I know that was something more. You’d been down some pretty dark roads, all on yer own ‘cept for that horse. I know there were times he was all you had.”

               Now Kieran was crying uncontrollably in a way he hadn’t allowed himself to yet, all desires to handle this like a man crumbling away. “I used to say that all I knew ‘bout life was that people kept dyin’ and I loved horses. I thought Branwen and I would die too, alone. I don’t think I would have even bothered to keep livin’ if I didn’t have him to take care of. We finally got lucky though, him an’ me. You fellers took us in, got me on my feet, and now I’ve got Mary-Beth and five beautiful children and a home, and…and…” Finally, he let himself fall weakly against Arthur’s shoulder. “He got me through it all, but now his time is done, and I have other things to be livin’ for. Just gonna be an awfully big hole. It’s gonna feel so wrong after all these years.”

               It still was uncomfortable for Arthur, gruff as he was, to wrap his thick arms around the man, even for a few seconds of comfort. Still, he sucked it up for Kieran, because there was something touching about the idea that he trusted him like this with his vulnerabilities. Their relationship had always been one of mentor and mentee, perhaps the only one in Kieran’s entire life, and even after ten years and plenty of aging from both of them, that hadn’t changed. “That’s why I came, so you wouldn’t hafta do this alone. I’ll be the one to end it, so you don’t hafta.”

               “B-but, Branwen is my horse, my responsibility,” Kieran protested weakly, pulling away.

               “You have taken damn good care of that horse. There is no shame in lettin’ me do this,” Arthur insisted sternly. “Ain’t nobody gonna think less of ya for it, especially not when I’m offerin’.”

               It wasn’t worth a fight, not when he really didn’t want to do it. “Fine. Gun’s over there,” he gestured before wiping his eyes roughly.

               “Anything else you’ve gotta say to ‘im?”

               “Naw. It’s been said. And he’s sleepin’. I don’t wanna wake ‘im.”

               “All right. You go find some shovels and don’t come back ‘til you hear the shot.”

               He did as requested, flinching at the harsh sound of the gun and squeezing his eyes shut from his position in the shed. It was over. When all was said and done, they had a hole dug and Branwen buried, mane braided and apple given for his road to whatever afterlife there was for horses. Kieran desperately wanted to believe they’d go to heaven same as people so they might be reunited again one day. The dirt was barely filled in when the wagon bearing his family came rolling on in.

               Becky and Leah both jumped off as soon as it was stopped and came barreling towards their father, ignoring their Uncle Arthur completely. “Papa, we’re back!” They latched onto him immediately.

“Girls, I’m so happy to see ya.” Kieran wrapped his arms around them, then cast a glance at the rest of his family. His other children were squirming impatiently to be lifted down, but Mary-Beth took the time to meet his gaze. The concern in her eyes touched his heart. She may be busy being a mother, but he knew without a doubt that she was the best wife a man could ask for. Then, he looked to Arthur, who seemed amused by his nieces’ open affection. When he saw him looking, he nodded and grabbed the shovels, heading to the shed to put them away.

               Good Lord, Branwen was gone, but look at everything he had now, things he could only dream of when they’d first met. It would be hard, but he could survive this loss now.

[raguna-blade]

Revolutionary Girl Utena Live(ish) Reaction Episodes 8-11

So it's a new year, and I'm gonna continue this, cause its' fun. Had a brief break cause of the holidays. And doing so, I figure i'm gonna do a thing where I make up a nice cleaned up version of these cause if nothing else I like organizing my thoughts. So Control F or whatever your find function is for the cleaned up version if that's your thing. It'll be under Overall Thoughts per ep. Or you know, you're me and you're going back through this for validation for whatever nonsense you say later.

Episode 8

Curry huh? And another recap? uh....

enmy remains trifling

hey wait egg time already?

Danger? Really?

Body swap? Also egg time is goofs

throwin hands????? anthy?

Yeah nanami it is ridiculous

JERSUS TOGA

nanami you idiot

She just fucked off to india to get some weird back alley spice

Shadow girls can you please, just please for a single episode.

ANTHY YOU LYING. Never been good at sports and you did that leap apparently pretty well? What the fuck.

Also, the switching thing here is mad suspect considering the end theme thing (and I suppose the opening.

Utena as Anthy : I don't want to be a sacrifice of the rose seal.

Anthy As Utena: I'm super down staying like this actually.

Like..This is just details that

Uh..Uh saionji what. The implications are strong here. Also, Douche canoe he is, but he's a romantic apparently? UUUUH. Exchange diary.

Is the “A” plot a distraction? Like for real.

Also she took that elephant to the dome.

I'm not sure how to take this personality switch. Like the minds thing whatever, but if it's just the personalties but not the person so to speak,  hold on

WHAT THE FUCK. These elephants for fucking real?

Anyway, if they're just personalities altering the “person” it's uh...Interesting. I'm not sure how to take that til I get more info. It seems like a thing.

Also, Saionji apparently legit has feels for Anthy he's just...mad dumb about expressing it? Like he's pulling a lot of Badboy Romance Tropes here but...not...in a badboy romance. Which kills his behavior entirely.

Killed his Soul AGAIN. Damn.

Who's the divine justice for? Like it doesn't seem for nanami. Who fucked up. Presumably between anthy and utena.

Anthy what the actual fuck are you doing. Are you using gunpowder?

Homie, this isn't twilight, go home saionji.

Anthy as Utena(????) you trolling. So hard.

Saionji get's zero respect but dudes dedicated I'll give him that. Fitting for bad boy romance lead.

Uh...Wait, actually, are they all romance leads? Common ones in one way or the other. They are on the student Council so...Hm. I don't read enough romance stories of the variety I think but it seems to fit? I'm not sure what juri would be in that case.

Anyway, if this Episode Turns out to be a key for understanding things I'm gonna be pissed. Just a little.

Overall Thoughts: So this and the other “filler” episode is, especially after finishing my last ep in the session, read as anything but despite the obvious uh...antics on display. Like...

Ok, so the whole thing with the ending which frames Anthy and Utena as kinda the same (or rather exactly the same, except one's in red and the other pink) makes this whole episode feel like it's basically some kind of key for understanding everything else because it's simple times. It's goofy hilarity with Nanami that's the A Plot right hahahah....

Except the personality swap between the two of them is like...The implication here is that they swapped minds fully, and given the level of fairy tale bullshit that is at play constantly in this series so far it may well just be magic brand magic and we're supposed to roll with it. Ok. Fair.

Except...The thought that sits in my head is again, Anthy and Utena seem to equal each other. Hell I point it out slightly later that there's definitely this yin yang thing going on in the opening with the two which is so blatant as to be meaningless because Hah Yeah these are our two leads obvs and they're important to each other so hahah don't worry about or think about it check out these SWEET SWORDSMANSHIP MOMENTS FROM EVERYONE LOOK AT THE BUDGET AND COOL HORSES AND CASTLES HAHAHA.

But ok, if it's a Yin Yang thing, yes they're not the same but they have elements of each other within eachother. So if it's just a personality swap but not an actual soul swap thing, that is, Anthy is just acting like Utena's personality is in her, and Utena is just acting like Anthy's personality is in her it paints this picture of Utena and Anthy as having a lot going on under the surface. I mean obviously Anthy is fucking pissed at Saionji. That was really really evident in episode one because if she's just being submissive rosebride I do what i'm told and I do what i'm told I do what i'm told, the very very very sharp dig of “We're Just classmates” is fucking brutal unnecessity. And given that she DOES know what he feels for her, and he's still acting like that, her being vindictive(or just brusque really, he's being an ass full bore) is like...absolutely reasonable.

Her Slapping back and about to throw hands with her tormentors? Who wouldn't want to right?

But then, ok that's Anthy, but what about Utena. If it's just a mind swap, Utena...want's a very defined existence? Like, she wants to just stick to a role? Feels weird, and doesn't quite immediately jive with her cause that seems against her operations right? Except, as this episode so kindly reminds us (for at least the third time in 8 episodes which seems excessive. I might be forgetting one or two) Utena's whole thing coming to this school is I want to play the Role of the Prince, whatever that actually means. Playing the Rose Bride would be no real difference, except it's way more submissive.

So that aside, Saionji saying he's in love with Anthy (and that seems to be something he at least believes to be true. He honestly seems more into Toga. Like for real for real, all the imagery of those flashbacks reads not just as close buddies, but as I am romantically down with you Toga my guy. Him being Bi is probably the easiest answer, and he just drifted away from Toga for a while. Saionji clearly sees him as a friend and rival, although it's seemingly not reciprocated at the moment.

But the thing, the thing that's kinda weird to me, is that if he does legit have feelings for her, I was struck with this odd vibe that he's playing at being a romance lead. Specifically, a Bad Boy romance lead. And doing so SPECTACULARLY badly. Homeboy is sitting here busting out poetry (unless my brain is being a dumb and i'm somehow overlaying him with Tatewaki Kuno from Ranma which ok, weird but alright) but...

Ok, if he is playing at being a Badboy Romance lead, that actually explains his behavior for how he was treating Anthy, especially if he's legit in his feelings for her? Possessive, Radiates Danger, Engages in Creepy Behavior, is a bit of a dick, etc. It lines up with Being a Bad Boy, except that the way that those usually work out in fiction, as I understand it, they're not usually like...gonna hit you. That breaks the fantasy. But...That's him fucking up the archetype. It doesn't fit for him. He doesn't understand what he's doing in that archetype.

Like yes, abusers and the like can care and still be absuers cause fucked up behavior and motivations don't need to match in the least, but it still feels odd that a man who probably literally could have done any number of fucked up things has...an exchange diary with the girl he says he cares about? And it's not like he's unaware of how submissive/passive she is, his exchange diary actually kinda reads like Utena's Anthy is A Real Girl! Activities*. He wants her to be active part of whatever their relationship is and...Eh.

But ok, if he's that, It suggests the rest of the student council, and duelists in general, would fit into a given archetype right? Toga is clearly the super cool intelligent superman student council president, Juri is basically charisma max Jock, Miki is the cute nerd, Nanami is the Ojou villainess type, Utena is...Basically the Hero type, just morals, strains to upset the status quo, Has the Cool Original Uniform.

And they all kinda fit into those pretty thoroughly, kinda like they're trying to (to varying levels of awareness)

Anyway, I'll hit on some of the other stuff in the next Ep. It's a bit more relevant there I think.

*See Me In Episode 11

Episode 9

I just realized they're doing some kinda yinyang thing in the opening so

R V G FIGHT.

Pretty tense there. Toga went straight for the heart which i'm sure means nothing.

Old Friends? Phrasing seems uh...odd? Unsure if it's dub things or actual subtext. Or both.

Dude you really got beef with a monkey? No, utena.

Being a huge dick. As is tradition.

10 Years.

Saionji: Actually love her (said) but

This is mad gay. Like the lighting, the silhouette. Saionji you're sublimating something here.

Music, Silhouettes.

...Silhouettes show truth? uh.

They were Utena's folks funeral? Huh. Also, why on earth would Utena be kidnapped? Who she be?

….Three coffins. Uh. Uhhhhhh. Utena, Toga, Saionji? UuuuHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?

Dead utena. Uh.

Toga: Ally to all women. Ok.

...Why is there a third coffin?

Something Eternal huh? And Utena wants to die for reasons understandable.

Find another coffin. Rose Sigils on the coffins. Uh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Saionji: Hey, this is nuts, we should stop her.

Toga: Nah, I'm gonna Ennable the shit out of this.

Tiny Utena with the White Rose?

Saionji: Did he do something to her?

Toga: Nope

Uh....

Anthy: Something Eternal in the castle. I want to go there.

Also impressive grip strength considering. Flat.

Does Toga Remember this or...? I can't be sure. Saionji certainly didn't recognize her, but he wasn't like right on top of the trauma child.

Toga white roses? Uh? Uhhhhh. I think he definitely remembers. But questions abound.

Ufo's shadow girls? Shadow girls having flesh is deeply concerning.

TRUE FRIENDS ARE JUST FANTASIES. OK.

And UFO's broke, so that's probably not great. Who's getting the Revelations today.

That is the fakest voice toga what the fuck

Badboy Saionji: We're Gonna get the eternity.

Also, I just realized they (saionji and anthy) have color inversions going on which is making me kinda wonder if they're related in some way?

Just slap the shit out of him that's fair.

Ok, so Saionji didn't(?) do the dumb thing. Ok,

that is...a coffin. That he's 100% obssessed with. With Anthy (Utena) inside.

He's looking like he kissed his own mom right now, goin full oedipus in the holy shit revelations here.

Castle is crumbling, falling down. So...Eternity is Fake. Ok. Sure. Didn't shadow girls say that?

Castle Immediately tried to kill him. Crushed his soul 1 time too many there I suppose.

Utena, meanwhile, dove super deep into saving anthy which...diving deeper into the fantasy?

Yeah, they all just saw things.

Saionji: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED WHATS GOING ON?

Bro, me too.

Ok, if the two are reflections, does Anthy and saionji both got some deep illusory bullshit going on? Are they both freaking out?

Toga, saving the day, and Saionji, tried to kill Utena with a sword. so. Ok.

Saionji Expelled?  Toga, fool for thinking they're friends?

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?

Overall Thoughts: I touched on a bunch of the Saionji stuff I wanna talk about in the last episode review, but the thing I kinda want to look at here is well...

Ok, Now the colors probably don't mean anything, but there was this moment that Saionji and Anthy were in the same shot and I suddenly realized they're color flips of each other. Purple hair green eyes, Green Hair Purple eyes, which ok that's interesting.

So we already have Utena Reflecting on Anthy, and hey, there's Zero Reason, absolutely negative number reasons why that wouldn't necessarily be the case with any and all of the rest of the duelists to some degree or another.

And hell, the fact that we keep flipping back and forth between Utena and Anthy in Coffins, there being (for some weird ass reason) a third entirely unrelated coffin for Utena's folks funeral, why the fuck not right?

So ok, Anthy and Saionji mirror each other which...Ok. If the Personality Swap from Episode 8 thing holds, The two actually share some pretty dickish actions. They can be cruel and petty and just antagonistic to things that don't quite jive with what they want. Saionji with Anthy not being...whatever he's expecting out of her, or Utena butting in. Anthy with the girls who keep fucking with her and Saionji.

They both seem to be utterly STUCK on the Rose Bride thing, although from different angles of Possessing the Rosebride and being the Rosebride, and the kind of weird shaping of the Rosebride thing that's going on.

Saionji is treated as a joke by the student council, especially after he get's kicked out, which ultimately ends with him being someone who is generally wanted but ends up ultimately exiled from society. Which mirrors with Anthy as someone is is wanted, but doesn't seem to have ANY kind of actual tangible bonds with anyone.

And, for this last one I have ZERO evidence on the Anthy end, but the suggestions are uh..interesting. Saionji in this episode, as suggested by the shadow girls at least in part, is deeply deeply invested in a fantasy of some kind, one that ultimately leaves him crushed and rather empty, further exiled from people who could or do care for him and that he cares about. Which if we're going with the property sliding across and He's a Foil for Utena (which I think is definitely true in some ways) suggests bad things for her down the line.

Episode 10

Saionji's a joke huh? He's taking it well.

Toga WOW. WOW YOU FUCKING DOUCHE. STRAIGHT IN THE FIRE HUH.

EGG TIME.

So, thing about eggs, that includes whats inside it right? so...Revolutionize yourself right? Right? That's obvious right?

Oh new duelist. Cool cool.

Utena getting slapped. By Nanami. With Utena being hella submissive. (EPISODE 8 FLASHBACKS INTENSIFY)

maybe a girl can't be a prince. THERES THAT THESIS. E8 FLASHBACKS

Nanami got her brother a kitty.

Oh damn it is Nanami. Duel Time. I mean we sall it in the opening but you know.

Jesus Toga, please stop being

OH GOD NANAMI NO. NOOOOOO NOPE NO.

Toga: We ain't kids no more. Shit don't fly.

Nanami: Emotionally devastated.

Is that Miki's sister?

Hey, what happened to the cat?

Juri: Hey, Serious Business, what the fucks up with the duelist?

Toga is perpatrating as badly as nanami actually. He's just less immediately obvious about it I guess.

Goddamnit there's Anthy's next slap. Jesus. Legit, who hasn't at this point. Is this a theme? IS THIS A THING?

Jesus, he's just playing all of this to piss her off? What the fucks up.

...Did nanami kill the cat. Uh...Uhhhhhh.

Ring is an engagement ring. Wait, that's a flat out school rule that everyone knows? For real? Uh.

...What the fuck happened with the kitty. Uh...

ITS TIME. ABSOLUTE DESTINYYYYYYYYYYYY

I just realized the kinda weird framing with Anthy dressing up utena kinda looks like her opening her legs up with the way it get's framed and I'm not sure if that's me just kinda over reading things or if that's a thing.

Nanami's duel outfit is SICK. Also, a yellow alt color of utena.

Actually. ACTUALLY? Is...Is Nanami like an Utena Alt color? That can't be right. Actually looking at  them right next to each other they're...straight up alt colors of each other. Not to mention Nanami's my prince thing mirrors Utena.

She just HOT pulled a knife. Oh she's About to fucking hot MERC utena, going for death jessus.

They're supposed to be around the same age too for that matter right?

She absolutely killed that cat and it's...

With her hair down she does look like an utena alt color even more.

Why's the duel music still going after the duel finished. Jesus. This wasn't a duel with Nanami, it was a duel with Toga, and I think Utena Hot lost it out and out.

Overall Thoughts: Well the Big thing I'm paying attention here are two. First the simpler one.

The Egg has to break the shell of the world to be born right? I'm paraphrasing badly, but the thing is the way they keep phrasing that is that the World is the Egg, but the egg isn't just the shell right? It includes what's inside of it. Which if that's the case, mixed with the way that duels work out being more a clash of ideals than of actual tangible skill, the revolutionize the world bit seems to be referring to them themselves, that is the duelists.

Alternatively, the Bird Referenced, the thing being revolutionized is Anthy. Which...Is an interesting line of thought. Given the Duels as a whole are basically choosing who her fiance will be, that'd imply that ultimately this decides the way that Anthy would come to develop? Or how she chooses to develop? Which ok if so, and the way that Ideals seem to be at play, Suggests...What? Dunno. Need more info, which will be delivered later.

But the other thing here, continuing the mirroring thing, which might be me reading too deeply, but I think not and even if it is Whatever I'm having fun.

THE ENTIRE NANAMI DUEL felt like a Mirror Match.Heck, Nanami dressed like an alt color of Utena, and especially once her hair got undone she looked even more like an alt color of Utena. They're only about a year different in age, and her brother seems to be her Prince type, and he drops the ring on her like an engagement ring, and she basically says I fight like my brother because he's my ideal.

Which is a weird thing since right now it's not going...too far. I'll have to see how it shakes out, but if the mirroring thing continues, the fact that the moment she lost she basically said nope fuck that, Knife Time, was...Concerning. It says real concerning things with Utena.

But it also says other interesting things then, because if Nanami is supposed to be some kind of Alt color Utena, similar in ambition goals and the like, if more outwardly girly to Utena's princey thing, their relationship with Anthy is uh..

Uh...

Well put simply, Utena is fucking up big and dramatic with Anthy, and she doesn't realize it at all or care because she can't see it for what it is. Nanami actively tries to undermine Anthy, and does some fucked up things to her. Which..Makes me wonder about the Divine Judgement thing from Episode 8 which, damnably, seems to be forming some kind of key here.

Like the way it's frame suggests the divine Judgement being visited upon Nanami is what's being talked about. But ok, Nanami had some bad shit happen to her sure, but...All of that was self inflicted upon her trying to fix what she percieves as a problem. Yes her reasons for doing it are so she can be with her brother, no doubt, but...They're ridiculous. Like, I cannot believe this shit is happening. But

But

If the Target of Divine Judgement/punishment is the Anthy Utena duo, one or both of them are on the receiving end of it. It's not clear how Acting like Utena would be a punishment for Anthy (I'm sticking with it just being a personality swap and not a full mind swap) but Utena who prides herself on being princely and aspires to that being the super submissive rosebride? I could see that being a kind of hell for her. And if the logic of Utena is Undermining Anthy holds out, but the criitcal difference being her ignorance and dishonesty of why compared to Nanami unabashedly saying yes I am fucking doing this fuck you I get what I want no hold barred, it...

Like, Nanami, as far as it goes, doesn't really receive a punishment if we're being honest. Yes she takes a couple of elephants to the dome, and has to be away from her brother and see her thing fail but..The way it's treated by herself and everyone else is basically a LOL THESE THINGS HAPPEN I GUESS HAHAHA. The Utena/Anthy swap meanwhile seems considerably more serious for them (especially considering the Everyone Slaps Anthy thing that seems to legit be a thing. Somehow. Except here Applied to “Utena”), and seems to cause some serious distress.

We'll see I guess.

Episode 11

As I watch this opening more and more, why is anthy like constantly framed like...Ominous as shit? Is it me?

Homegirl is just. Damn. Sure glad NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN (I do not trust this series to not have something bad happen to Wakaba. Again.)

Anthy. Are..are you...passive aggressively doing...something

Toga: I can see through the illusions yeah boi.

I do not trust this for an inch. He is abusing the shit out of his framing, like the whole time, and I don't trust.

Toga is “student council prince” archetype. Miki's nerdy student counciler.

EGG TIME

Juri is...Antagonistic But well meaning?

Saionji...I'm not sure he was actually on the stuco. But if so, bad boy.

What....is with the balloons. The color coded balloons.

Miki: Like a Pet Cat.

The Pet Cat that died, got killed.

WHAT IS WITH THESE BALLOONS.

ALSO I SEENT YOU PURPLE BALLOON.

So if the duels are ideal clashes more than actually a matter of direct skill, is this Toga (touga?) trying to fuck with Utena before the fight?

Anthy is a Bird. Ok. And Toga, arguably, being the biggest dick here. We thought it was Saionji, but the trick was he's the red part of the rose.

Anthy shut down REAL quick when being the rose bride was brought up.

Is Utena projecting mad hard onto Anthy here?

Homeboy needs to stop playing these games.

Utena, Stahp.  DO NOT TRUST HIM.

Toga, You...DOUCHE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Toga: Oh My B, Shouldn't act that way in front of the rose bride. ALSO DUELING LETS GOOOOO.

Utena: one link forces me to fight him. Meanwhile, rose symbols everywhere, a lot of them brought in by anthy.

Hmmmmmmm.

Utena is hard not understanding something here. I don't know what (rose bride related for sure) but I don't get...WHAT is off here.

Cause thinking about it, Utena's objective with Anthy is arguably the most noble, but she's still not quite treating anthy as a person.

….William Tell Interlude is SUITABLY CONCERNING considering the above thoughts so uh.

Also that was a weirdly specific number. 30K arrows or something?

I just realized that the DARKNESS OF DARKNESS OF LIGHT OF DESTINY OF (INSERT) things seems to show up right around anthy a lot. I'm not super sure if that's a whole thing or just a this episode thing, but...

Is Utena about to get HOT DUNKED? Because I think she is.

Also, I just realized, Utena slid into that pull sword out of rose bride thing right quick and she's never once questioned that.

So yes, Utena has BOOTY but cheeks swordsmanship, which yeah, obvs. Two of the people she beat were actually skilled before this fight, and yet she won somehow.

I don't know how to deal with these lyrics. But Toga is absolutely  fucking with her head here.

And She Lost. Decisively. YUP. WELP THIS IS GONNA BE A THING NEXT TIME.

Toga: Hey you don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore.

Utena is doing the EXACT same shit Miki and Saionji were pulling, and Anthy's blank soulless stare is freaking me the hell out. Again.

So, ideals here. But the idea that whoever has a...better grasp of the truth is the victor. Which makes sense that Toga wins here.

Jesus, Soul crush 2.0, except it's on Utena this time. Goddamn.

WELL NEXT EPISODE PROMISES TO BE FUN.

Utena: ITS NOT TRUE. ITS NOT TRUE!

The Anime Revolutionary Girl Utena IMMEDIATELY: MISSING TRUTH ETCETC HOLD ME IN YOUR TRUE ARMS I WANT TO KEEP SMASHING LIES APART

SURE THAT MEANS NOTHING GUYS GGNORE.

Also, no joke, these seem like a Direct response to this episode and I'm not sure how to feel about that.

I want to be hated by lies? Uhhhhh.

Overall Thoughts: So Hey, Here we are in Episode 11 and I want to talk about how Utena and Saionji basically are each other right here.

Like overtly even I think, even if the actions aren't precise clean mirrors to each other which I guess is just how i'm going to be going through this series right now RiP.

But ok, here's the thing. What has been increasingly clear as time goes by is that Utena is fundamentally misunderstanding something about Anthy. I'm not sure fully what it is, but it's clearly Rosebride related, and the thing with the clashing ideals suggests that the.

Actually let me explain that clear like. Right now my read on the Duels is that they are NOT in any way shape or form a demonstration of skill. I Think that's clear through this point, but I'm making it explicit for my own sake. The Victor of the Duel isn't the better fighter. If that were the case, It'd suggest the only ones in the running at all would be Toga or Saionji (Juri should also be in here, but I'm not actually clear how skilled she is compared to those two, and the way they're treated suggests that Toga and Saionji are comparable in pure skill/ability.)

But Utena somehow beat Saionji like three times, Juri and Miki. Miki's whatever, but Juri clearly knows what she's doing, and Saionji seems to be Kendo Team captain so you know. Up there. Meanwhile, Utena explicitly is an amateur.

I'm not saying, in full, that actual skill with the blade is a null thing, but your ideals seems to be the biggest factor over everything else. Presumably, people rocking equally “powerful” ideals would fall to skill with the sword.

Anyway. The Truths that Seem to be critical are Anthy Wants to Be Free of the Rosebride. Ok, so Utena has the right read then right? But then she lost to Toga who seems to be rocking Anthy Wants to Be, or else Considers herself fundamentally to be, the Rosebride, which is something that Utena seems to be denying about Anthy, but is none the less true.

But then, How are Utena and Saionji the same? Well, remember an episode back where I was talking about the divine punishment thing and all that jazz from episode 8?

It hits both of them for mistreating the Rosebride. There is a fantasy going on between Utena and Saionji, and while Saionji's is a bit complicated and unclear I think, Utena's actually is pretty straightforward I think. Utena want's to be a prince. That's her fantasy. The general virtues she want's to possess are great. Good even. But the specific's seems to involve a kind of rides in and saves the day riding in on a white horse thing, where she's the hero and does for some poor unfortunate girl what her prince did to her.

Saionji's meanwhile, seems to be something of him having a genuine reciprocal relationship with Anthy, with him inhabiting the role of a badboy romantic lead while the two of them have feelings for each other. When, really, he doesn't seem to care for her, or at least the feelings that he has for her are considerably weaker than whatever awkward feelings he has going on for Toga (I'm seriously a little fuzzy here, cause it feels like following his most recent defeat he's rocking some kind of clarity? I don't know how it's gonna work out, but I could sorta see him Returning and upsetting whatever the then status quo is.)

But notably, the big thing between them is their staunch refusal to accept what seems to be really true about their relationship with Anthy.

That the end theme seems to immediately pop up as an answer to Utena's reaction feels...Purposeful.

[gyrrakavian]

Umberlee saved my goblin eldritch knight...

This was revealed two weeks ago in session, and I spent those two weeks trying to figure out why a sea goddess of chaos who is very much not known for mercy would save my little amnesiac archaeologist.

And then I tried to plug him into @jewishdragon‘s custom alignment chart. I asked for help placing him and started listing some of the things he’s done. Then, it dawned on me that despite diplomatic attempts (-1 Char mod) he’s caused quite a bit of general chaos.

The first town he got to with the party happened to be the same town that the therianthropic blood cult who tried to sacrifice him was based. Umberlee spared him from bleeding out (magic initiate feat explained).

Upon arriving in town, Bug made certain to wear the ceremonial headdress the cult placed on him for most of his time in public there. Not all of the townies were cultists, but they all recognized the sacrificial helmet and were all made very uncomfortable by it.

At the local tavern that night, there’s a card game and Bug ventures over to join. He puts his trademark scarab medallion up for this hand. Bug wins the hand, grabs his medallion and winnings, then ducks out of the card game pissing off all of the townies and some of the caravan involved. Including some weird blue-skinned dwarf (who may be related to Bug’s near-death).

The party fights a few of the were-cultists that night to prevent them from kidnapping caravan members. We successfully kill all five of them. Bug proceeds to severe the head of the wereboar and carries it around town strapped to his back the next day looking for someone with dermestid or scarab beetles to clean the skull off for him.

That also happened to be the day he ate our kobold chef’s golden curry (grants telepathy). Bug passed his save, the townies who decided to eat some because Bug seemed fine did not. [The DM has informed us we may have a newly awakened warlock or 2 on our hands if we ever go back through there.]

More chaos ensued once the caravan got got to Luxheim. Bug only caused some of it.

During 3 weeks of downtime, he scouted most if not the entire ruined city. He only got into two fights during that time (his Int is 15). The first being when our bloodhunter unwittingly freed a gunpowder ooze from a barrel no-one could read the label on. Bug kept using firebolt on it, demonstrating that goblin science is a combination of gnome science and kobold science. Then, the PCs had to save some lvl 1 NPCs from 2 large slimes in the sewers. Turns out Thunderwave is a novel way to get someone out of a gelatinous cube.

Bug and Bohala (dwarf fighter) mined some weird green and purple crystals while exploring. Thankfully the wild magic crystals just blared out music when the two of them used the biggest one to try to signal some dwarves Bohala invited from across the frozen bay.

A 50ft celestial shark ridden by a Kuatoa preist came cruising out of the city to the by when the dwarvish ironside steamer started firing at the skeletal wyvern showing up across the other side of the bay with Dirk the reasonable wraith. The massive shark went across the top of the water to attack the dwarves (explained later).

After commandeering a landing boat and getting the dwarf to get us out to the shark, the 3 of us who showed up managed to fight the giant shark and priest. Only our poor bloodhunter had to make con saves not to drown.

First we managed to kill the priest. Our skeletal bard turning the shark into a boat (DM’s call) really helped in that respect since it made it much more difficult for the sharp to roll like that.

Once we killed the kuatoa cleric, we had to contend with the 50t celestial shark who was now a shark again thanks to the huge waterweird it was bonded with breaking the bard’s concentration.

Bug managed to crawl into one of the shark’s gill slits and used Shape Water to make an air pocket for himself. Meanwhile the bard and the bloodhunter had to hang onto the shark as it dove and rolled.

Bug slashed and bit at the gill membrane (with disadvantage), used Thunderwave to little effect, and successfully got the killing blow burning an exit hole through the giant shark with Aganazzar’s Scorcher.

After getting the dwarves and the wraith settled, we looted the shark. Bug only wanted it’s 2ft long teeth since it didn’t have much of historical worth in its guts apart from some old paintings and a sealed chest with very clear warning labels (he passed his Wis-save to overcome his curiosity).

That encountered prompted Bug to try to figure out which deity had saved him (nat1). It was totally Peylor. Thankfully, the bloodhunter asked him why he thought that and figured out (nat20) that it was actually Umberlee before Bug started praying.

The dream he gets says, “Open the city. Let the path open.” Still no idea what that means.

Bug had a sword commissioned to be made from one of the celestial shark teeth with the symbol of Umberlee on it. A DM roll later, and Bug had a Sword of the Mysterious Stranger.

We find out about The Curator when Baron Geoff (the bard) manages to catch one of the crows. Bug is trying to be helpful and accidentally spills the beans on some things. So we had to figure out where the Curator’s goons were going to go a raid it first. We narrowed it down to an island with Kuatoa in the harbor and an old  battlefield Bug had a map for and had been itching to get to.

We sent the party of now lvl 2 NPCs to the island and convinced Dirk the wraith to go assist them. The party proper managed to gather some NPCs to help us go scout the battlefield. Bug lost a day trying to tame some of the large goats roaming just outside of town while the rest of the party did other preparations.

We did manage to convince some NPCs to join us on our trip to the battlefield. A goblin gambler, an older cleric with a winter wolf, a dwarfish gunslinger, and a fey woodchuck.

Bug the convinced the fey woodchuck to accompany us so they could continue messing with the gunslinger.

The bloodhunter convinced the gunslinger to come so he could keep an eye on the fey woodchuck.

Bug followed the fey woodchuck through a Transport Through Trees spell, and asked to be sent to the battlefield. No one else in the party had thought to do so (we were all there). So they got to figure out a way to get to the battlefield. Turns out the coastal wizard a day’s trip from town is only lvl 4, so they had to ride oxen from the caravan.

The upside to this was that Gesento(sp?) got paid with the sharktooth shield Bug had him commissioned before heading out.

Thanks to being in the fey wild, Bug got transported to the battlefield 4 days prior. He remembered to thank and pay the fey. Then, spent the next 6 days scurrying about finding, logging, and deducing everything he could about the battle. Including some more recent spine devil spikes.

The bloodhunter found a sword that was buried that Bug overlooked. Bug recalled a story about a noble who refused to leave his castle as it sank, and a knight who had come from said castle (nat20). But the source was pretty sketchy.

The Currator’s crows show up, so Bug starts distracting them. Being a terrible liar did and didn’t help. Accidentally outing the Bloodhunter as being a Bloodhunter and asking the crows what they knew of the Promethean (dead language) phrase “seek the dead brother”, the crows (lesser undead themselves) got VERY riled up.

The Currator’s skeletal Kenku goons started showing up and a fight ensued involving a coatl that was acting weird. As soon as the skellies were dispatched, Bug booked it for the trapdoor Rolland had dug out in a fortified hut. Inside was a spiral stairwell. Bug tied some rope to the railing, then proceeded to slide down the hand rail w/o issue (nat20). Which also meant he went sailing off the end of it cartwheeling across the floor, setting off all of the traps behind him, a subterranean courtyard and stopping abruptly by slamming into a tree in its center (nat1) after causing a loud ruckus.

Found the sunken castle!

Thankfully the werewolves that lived there weren’t part of the cult and didn’t kill us since Rolland smoothed things over with them. And we successfully defeated The Currator’s goons! Bug was happy to had some more skulls to his collection.

He also made some Kenku jaw bone pauldrons for our Drow Light Cleric. Yes, you read all of that sentence correctly.

[lackedflaw]

✿, ☤, ∞, ✉

HEADCANON QUESTIONS // not accepting!

✿: what is your muses favourite scent?

he has no particular favorite, but the smell of gunpowder always brings a sense of nostalgia for him? he also likes the smell of coffee, the rain, and menthol shampoo. maybe curry powder too.

☤: is your muse allergic to anything?

sudden and extreme changes in temperature causes him to develop an itchy rash on his skin. it’s a minor allergy but very annoying to odasaku.

∞: is there something about your muse that has been constant throughout their life?

answered here!

✉: what is something your muse would write about?

answered here!

[lionsworn]

BASICS !

NAME .   prompto argentum NICKNAME .   prom, blondie  AGE .   main verse either twenty or thirty, brotherhood verse fifteen to twenty SPECIES .  magitek trooper clone human

PERSONAL !

MORALITY .   Lawful / Chaotic / Good / Neutral / Evil / True. RELIGION .  well, he believes the astrals exist. not a big fan though. SINS .   Greed / Gluttony / Sloth / Lust / Pride / Envy / Wrath. VIRTUES .   Chastity / Charity / Diligence / Humility / Kindness / Patience / Justice. KNOWN LANGUAGES .  common. SECRETS . he was born in niflheim, as a clone destined to be a magitek trooper. after his friends know this, he has no secrets, and intends to keep it that way. he hid the circumstances of his birth for long enough, he doesn’t want to keep any more secrets ever again.

PHYSICAL !

BUILD .   Scrawny / Bony / Slender / Fit / Athletic / Curvy / Herculean / Pudgy / Average HEIGHT .   5′8″ SCARS  /  BIRTHMARKS .   he considers his barcode a birthmark. in game canon he’s got a burn scar on top of it that didn’t quite heal when aranea used a curative on it. (i’m not sure if something similar is going to occur in my main timeline, considering the thread hasn’t gotten there yet.) he’s also got several scars littering his body from training and from fighting. also, while they’re neither birthmarks nor scars, he has a lot of stretch marks. ABILITIES /  POWERS .   sharpshooter - he’s exceptionally skilled with firearms and weaponized machinery. photography - he takes very good pictures (and quite a lot of ass shots). gamer - he’s REALLY good at video games of most kinds. day-brightener - he’s always got a joke or comment to make sure that everyone is emotionally okay.

FAVORITES !

FOOD .   ignis’ green curry soup. DRINK .  mountain dew code red. PIZZA TOPPING .  pineapple. COLOR .   it’s a tie between yellow, bright green, and deep blue. MUSIC GENRE .   indie and classic rock, though he listens to a bit of everything. BOOK GENRE .   romance or high fantasy. MOVIE GENRE .  rom-coms. CURSE WORD .  shit. SCENTS .   petrichor and gunpowder.

FUN STUFF !

BOTTOM OR TOP . bottom. SINGS IN THE SHOWER . oh absolutely. LIKES PUNS .  he LOVES them.

TAGGED BY . stolen from rami. TAGGING: @ringpyre and anyone else who wants to do it.

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham” S5E4

...WOOF.

Also, this is just the episode of poor decisions all around.

AN:  I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post. 

*imitates the Epic Voice Trailer guy doing the Gotham commercials and ends up laughing*

Is Selina ever gonna find out that Tabitha died?  Like, she was her mentor!

Oh God, is Will dead?!?

*A shot of the fiery Haven*  Oh my God... I don’t even wanna know the casualty count for this.

*jaw drops in absolute shock*

*Barbara points her gun at Oswald*  BARBARA YOU BETTER NOT!  NOT RIGHT NOW!

Oh my God!

Holy shit!  Something tells me this was NOT Jeremiah.  I don’t think- no, no, this wouldn’t have been him. 

Holy shit!

*softly gasps in horror when Harvey gives Jim the badge that he gave Will*

Nooo!  Where’s Will?  Where the frick did that kid go?  I know he’s alive!

*reels back when the opening theme starts*  We have to start an episode like that?!?

Oh my God..

“As of now, death toll stands at 311.  49 injured, more than 2 dozen left unaccounted for.”  *drops jaw in horror*

OK, we are meeting the Walker character!

“You have been promising me help for weeks.”  So how much time has passed between the first episode and this episode?

*An angry crowd comes into the precinct*  No one is gonna be happy!

OH MY GOD, JIM DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT BRUCE AND SELINA!

*reels back*  Shiiiiitt...

“But whoever destroyed that building can’t destroy the hope we’ve built.  Not unless we let them.”  Jim, I don’t think a speech is gonna help this time.

Lucius!  He’s in this episode this time!  Oh thank God!

“Nothing makes sense anymore.”  *shakes head*

“SELINA!”  Oh my God, Bruce!

Oh my God...

*Some of Ecco’s goons come in*  Ohh no.  Ohhhhhhhhhh noooo.

*Bruce beats up some of the goons while he’s still handcuffed to the door*  Holy crap, Bruce!  Let’s go!

*can’t help but laugh when Bruce tries throwing a wrench at a goon and missing him by a long shot*

*Alfred comes to the rescue*  Ohhh!!  Alfred!  Yes!

“I was afraid you didn’t get my signal.  Lucius said the range was only a couple of miles.”  What is that?!?

“Now go on then... how did that happen?”  Selina.

“I think you’re telling porkies.”  *laughs*  What?

AN:  British slang for a big lie.

“Until that day comes... I think we should go find her.  Don’t you?”  Oh God...

“Because the person who blew up Haven has to be stopped.  That’s all that matters now.”  So who blew up Haven?

“We heard people talking about a shady guy working around Haven before it blew.”  “This is Gotham.  You’re [Barbara] gonna have to do better than ‘shady guy.’“  *laughs*

Harlow Park?  How many parks are there?

“Do you really think I could have murdered all those people?”  No... that’s not your nature.  Barbara wouldn’t have done it.

*Penguin and Co. wait for Jim in the precinct*  Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh-oooooohhhhh...

Is Oswald gonna try and team up with Jim?

*mouths along with Oswald saying “woefully apparent”*

“...you [Jim] are outmanned, outgunned, and out of options.”  *sings*  OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED!

*Penguin’s men bring in more guns*  Holy shit, they’re bringing in the big guns.  Literally and figuratively!

“Ain’t you [Oswald] just St. Nick on Christmas morning?”  *chuckles*

“I’m guessing there are strings attached?”  “No strings.  Save for the one that we’ll cinch around the neck of the Haven bomber.”  Wow, everyone just really likes Jim today!  OK, OK... OK, something’s going on.

“Let’s just hold that in abeyance for the moment.”  Abeyance?

AN:  Means that you’re gonna put something on hold for the moment.

“What do you [Jim] say, partner?”  Oh God.

I thought he [Oswald] was gonna call him “old friend.”

*eyebrows raise in confusion when Ed finds a suitcase on his daybed*  Whaaat the...

I like this music going on.

[IN AT #1215]  Inmate?  Inmate!

“Inmate #1215 knows.  KNOWS WHAT?!?”  OK, are we talking like Blackgate or Arkham?

Where are we going?

Oh my God, the mayor posters [from S3]!

*The GCPD and Oswald’s group march*  Whoa, now that’s a troop!

“Don’t tell me I gave them hope!  They’re dead.”  JIIIIIMMMM...

*Oswald pulls out a megaphone*  Of course he has a megaphone!

“There goes the element of surprise.”  *laughs*

“We will root you out like the vermin you are!”  OSWALD, stop talking!

*gasps when someone shoots the megaphone*

Whoa whoa wait...

“We’re sitting ducks out here.”  “And one Penguin.  Hey Oswald, why don’t you crawl out there, grab that bullhorn, tell him to come out here quietly?”  *laughs*

*imitates Oswald’s insulted “Yooouu...”*

“Pretty cozy up here.”  *gasps excitedly and slams hands on desk*  IT’S ZSASZ!  IT’S ZSASZ!

“Oh hey guys!”  *excitedly waves hands*  HIIII!!!

*Victor blows Oswald a kiss*  OH MY GOD!

*Ed steals a refugee’s blanket in order to sneak into the precinct*  Are we serious?  Ed, are we kidding?  Are you kidding me?  That is the worst disguise!

It’s the “Thor Ragnarok” disguise!

*gasps when Lucius catches Ed in the records room*

“It’s impolite to sneak up on people.”  “So is breaking and entering.”  *laughs*

“I am given and I am taken.  I was there from your first breath and I will follow you until your death.”  Your name.

“Call it a personal matter.”  I love that pose [that Ed does]!

He looks like Jim Carrey in the beginning of Batman Forever, with the hair hanging in his face?  Holy crap.

“What is it that you [Lucius] would like?”  “Your [Ed’s] expertise.”  Whoa, what?

“So the second smartest man in Gotham needs my help?”  Ed, shut up.

*cracks up when Ed tries to take the file from Lucius and utterly fails*

*slams fist aggressively on desk*  Detectives Lucius Fox and Edward Nygma on the case!  Let’s go!

“I [Victor] did not make that building go boom, Jim.”  *cracks up*

“You gave up any shred of honor long ago!  Why should we believe a snake like you?!?”  “Because I would never take credit for somebody’s else’s work?”  I!  Love!  Zsasz!

“Is this about Sofia Falcone?  You should really move past that.  It’s not healthy.”  *laughs*

*still laughing*  Ahhh, I need to breathe!

He [Oswald] literally has a watch and is just holding it up!

Oh my God, is Jim gonna sneak up there and like, sneak attack him [Zsasz]?  Let’s go, Jim!

*cracks up when Zsasz goes for a drink break*

*Jim body slams Zsasz to the ground*  Oh my God!

Holy shit, Jim, that was the fastest take down I’ve ever seen!

“Well done, Jim.  We make a hell of a team.”  Surprisingly yes!

“Allow me [Oswald] to deal with him [Victor].”  No, no, we’re not- no, no.

“One of the areas I [Oswald] excel at is the loosening of tongues-”  Could we not word it like that?

Oswald, do not eff this up!

*Selina follows Ecco to Jeremiah’s lair*  Ohhhhhhh here we go!

*softly*  Hoooooo here we gooo...

How did you get there so fast, Selina?

*gasps when Jeremiah slits Sykes’s throat*

“Well, not with that attitude you’re not.”  *leans far and away from screen*  Shiiiiiittt, mannn!

“Everyone, let’s reach inside and dig a little deeper, shall we?”  TIM CURRY, THAT YOU?!?

*freaks out in disgust when Jeremiah licks blood off his knife*

Ohhhh... Oh God...

*pauses when Jeremiah starts talking to himself*

*laughs when Jeremiah stops talking to himself and awkwardly clears his throat when Ecco walks in*

*gasps when Jeremiah grabs Ecco by the neck to inspect her scar*

*is pretty much speechless when Jeremiah and Ecco start dancing*

“Bruce Wayne and his sidekick Curls- or is he the sidekick?”  *gives small smile*

“And Curls can walk.  Really well.  Especially... for a paraplegic.”  *jaw drops*

*raises eyebrow in interest when Jeremiah purrs appreciatively at Ecco*

Should we leave them alone at all... like do they need anything?

Like snacks.... a condom?  Like, like... um... kay...

AN:  Also, I can definitely tell that Cameron Monaghan looked at Tim Curry for Jeremiah, especially the voice and the way he looks at people.  Y’know how Tim Curry’s voice in “Rocky Horror Picture Show” just oozes this sort of sexual presence?  That’s exactly what he’s doing, especially when he’s with Ecco.

“OK recruits, let’s do like my daddy did before my sixth birthday and move out!”  *literally chokes on my drink*

Oh my God, wha- *has to take a moment to calm down and cough up my lungs*

OH MY GOD, did- did she just say [Ecco] that?

“Evidence of deflagration would suggest something with a slower burn rate, like gunpowder or nitroglycerin.”  A bazooka?  Did someone bazooka the building?

“The bomb was the building.”  *imitates the way Ed says “the bomb”*

“Ow!  That’s a really nice table.”  *chuckles*

“Figured with you guys occupied, I [Victor] might help myself to some of your supplies.”  Of course he would!

“If I blew up a building full of people, I would have covered every inch of my body in sweet, sweet scars.”  But let’s see them!

“You gonna do a strip search?  I’d [Victor] let Alvarez do it.  He’s handsome.”  *jaw drops*  Ohh my God!

AN:  What’s better is that line was improvised by Anthony Carrigan.

Oh that shot’s awesome [of Oswald in the precinct entrance]

“Oh, I did not expect you to go soft, Jim.”  He’s not going soft!  He’s telling you the evidence!

*shakes head and sighs in disappointment when Oswald orders his men to bring him Zsasz*

“Despite our inflamed passions-”  Could you not say that?

“Good to know who’s really in charge here, Jim.”  Oooohhh...

“That and the RPG case is right over there.”  Did the guy literally just leave out all the evidence for them to find?  Great job, dude.

“I truly hope you find whoever did this and make them pay.”  OK, so like everyone is after this Haven shooter!

“I appreciate your help, Ed.  Couldn’t have done it without you.  If you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it.”  *chuckles*  Lucius, I love you!

*Ed reads that the inmate he’s looking for is dead*  Oh my God...

Wait, why does he [Ed] have blood on his sleeve cuff?

“Deaf old bat!”  Oh my God...

“You gotta do something.”  “Yeah, like what?  Make another speech?”  *laughs* 

“Maybe this is what the people need.”  Jim, no!  You are turning into Magneto from “Dark Phoenix!”

“So, will I [Victor] be appointed a lawyer?  I feel like my rights are being violated.”  *chuckles*

*Victor gets his mouth duct taped shut*  MMM-MMM...

“He [Jim] claims that Mr. Zsasz is not responsible for the bombing!”  LISTEN TO THE EVIDENCE!

“Captain Gordon, if you would like to say something, now is the time.”  Do not make another freaking speech!

Tell the evidence, Jim!  Come on!  *slams water bottle on desk*

“I know you all want justice-”  Oh my- JIIM, we don’t need a speech!  We do not need a speech!

“What we do now is more important than ever.”  They're not gonna like that.

“Now that the defense has rested, let’s put it to the crowd.”  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

*Crowd calls Zsasz guilty*  Oh my God... WELP...

Oh there’s the Penguin theme in the background

*shakes head in disapproval*  Ohhhh my God...

Can we go back to Jeremiah?

OH MY GOD, IS THAT A GUILLOTINE?!?

*gasps*  The Pax Penguina posters!

“...I sentence you, Victor Zsasz, to die.”  No.

“Any last words?”  *sings*  THAT’S WHAT THEY ALL SAY!

*gasps when Oswald shoots the rope holding the guillotine blade up*

*sighs in relief when Harvey drags Zsasz away just in time*  Ohhhh my God, I thought he was gonna die!

Holy shit, I thought they were gonna kill off Victor.  Ohhh my God...

“I [Harvey] gotta be honest, Jim, I don’t know how safe Zsasz is gonna be at the GCPD.”  He’s not going to be safe.  Or he’s gonna escape.

*Jim decides to let Victor go*  Jesus Christ, Jim!

“This city will never be what you it to be, Jim.  It’s always gonna belong to the bad guys... like me.”  Hell yes it does!  Accept it, Jim!

“Give him your gun, Harvey!”  What??

We are not doing a showdown right now, Jim!

He’s [Victor] not gonna shoot Jim, he’s not gonna shoot him...

*gasps*  He [Jim] wants Victor to shoot him!

*jaw drops in shock*

*collapses back in relief when Victor turns him down*  Oh my God... oh my God...

“See you around, Jim.”  Jesus Christ...

Jim is losing it in this episode!

*gasps when some of the tunnel workers get knocked out*

That was Bruce, right?

*Bruce emerges from the shadows and catches up to Alfred*  YEAAHHH!  Let’s go!

Also, holy crap, how did they track down everyone else so fast?

*laughs when Jeremiah starts fanning himself with his hat*

“So what do we do when we feel like giving up?”  “Dig a little deeper.”  *starts singing “Dig a Little Deeper” from “The Princess and the Frog”*

*gasps and yells in absolute shock when Jeremiah gets stabbed*

“Deep enough?”  *covers mouth in hands and yells*

THEY’RE [the workers] JUST GONNA STAND THERE [while Selina stabs Jeremiah]?!?

*screams into hands when Selina stabs Jeremiah multiple times*

NO NO NO nonononono!

*yells when Bruce comes in and pulls Selina off Jeremiah*

*gasps when the workers go after Bruce*

OK, wait wh- what happened to Selina?!?

GET UP- NO, NONONONO!  GET UP!

*slams hands on desk repeatedly*  You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine!  Get up, get up, get up!

*sits back in chair*  Oh my God...

“I hate stairs!”  Me too!

OK, hold on, hold on...

“You were on the roof and you had some kind of a rocket.”  *jaw drops in shock*  OH MY GOD, ED BLEW UP HAVEN?!?

*Ed starts to remember*  Oh my God!

Why?!?  Why would he blow up Haven?!?

Also, the long hair and bowler hat is not a look.

*jaw drops when we see Ed blow up Haven in a flashback*

Woman in Apartment!  1215!

*Gasps when Ed shoves the witness out the window to her death*

Uh wha- wha-

*Jim takes a drink of whiskey*  Yeah, god damn, Jim, me too if I was old enough.

*shakes head*  WHY IS BARBARA THERE?!?

“Poor Jim.  All alone again.”  SHUT UP, Barbara.

“No one knows what it’s like to be him.”  Barbara, get the hell out!  Stop talking-

*Barbara gets in Jim’s face*  NO!  NO!  NONONONONO!  NO!  STOP IT!  RIGHT NOW!

MMMMMMMMMMMMM NO!  NO NO NO.

Jim, you better freaking not.

NO

*LEAVES THE ROOM when Jim kisses Barbara* Get the f-

*sits back down after a good five seconds*  Get the frick out of here!

*End credits start*  That’s it?  We’re just- we’re gonna end on that?  We’re gonna- what?!?

Wha- no, Jeremiah ain’t dead.  They’re gonna freakin’ leave Jeremiah there.  They’re gonna- Jesus...

Really?!?

I’m gonna need like a week to recover from that.  Holy crap!