#and almost the reason she never saw her mother one last time
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halfelven · 2 years ago
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absolutely devastating to lay flowers and pay respects at my grandmother’s funeral as the “representative” of my “family” entirely alone. all the other cousins with at least a parent. even the second cousins with someone with them. placing flowers on her grave and stepping back as the only person with no one to turn to. everyone hugging each other and just standing there
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jjunieworld · 6 months ago
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MEET ME AT OUR SPOT ˒˒ 심재윤 ▸  part one of the player’s game series⌇playlist & series tag
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with the news of your grandma’s depleting health, life has you moving to your mother’s seaside hometown for the summer to your aunt’s. while there, you meet the illustrious player—jake sim—that everyone can’t seem to stop talking about. what you never expected was to gain his attention and spend the three months you’re there falling for him.
pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ sim jaeyun x fem!reader 𓄷 iηcℓudᥱs 𓈓 jungwon, lifeguard!jay, player!sunghoon, and oc hana (jake’s ex)
genre﹙📓﹚⸝⸝⸝ angst, smut, fluff, strangers to temporary lovers, beach au, summer fling/summer love, lifeguard!jake, blonde!jake, kindaaa slow burn, h2o jokes references (i had to), slice of life, lifeguarding & surfing inaccuracies, reader is jungwon’s cousin
warnings ‎⸝⸝⸝ player!jake, toxic!jake, soft dom!jake, subtle manipulation, reader and hana almost drown once, mentions of reader’s dad passing (before story) and grandma’s depleting health, alcohol, skinny dipping, corruption kink, virgin!reader, inexperienced!reader, unprotected sex (condoms!), fingering, oral fixation, oral (f. rec), semi-public sex?, jake is jealous and a little possessive, he’s also lowkey a munch, hair pulling, cum eating?, petnames (baby, pretty), praise, jake talks you through it, creampie, dirty talk, slight dacryphilia, dumbification, marking
kipo’s note ‎⸝⸝⸝ this is mainly for @jjunberry (who held me at gunpoint to make this fic about jake), so echo i hope you enjoy!! ♡ i might make a part two,,, not sure! i have some ideas for it, but it depends on how everyone is feeling! >ㅅ< let me know what you think!! divider is by @/cafekitsune :D i hope you all enjoy!!! all feedback and reblogs are welcome! ♡
∿ [ 22k ] ⋆ [ continue on to . . . masterlist ]
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your mom nudged you awake just as the plane was beginning to land. you rubbed your bleary eyes and blinked rapidly to try and get your eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight. nudging you again, your mom said, “wake up, we’re about to land.”
rolling your sore neck out, you sat up in your chair and looked around the plane at all the other passengers preparing themselves for the landing. you sighed softly to yourself, you never really liked planes—not that you’ve been on many. you were flying from the small town you called home to the small seaside hometown of your mother’s on the request of your aunt.
your aunt’s phone call still replayed in your head. you and your mom were in the middle of making lunch together when she got it. with a smile, your mom answered her sister’s call. “yes, older sister, is there a reason you’re interrupting my day?” your mom asked playfully.
her grin quickly vanished and through the phone you could hear your aunt say, “it’s mom… the doctors say she isn’t getting better…”
your mom turned you with a worried expression. you had stirred the contents of the pot on the stove before turning fully to your mom, brows furrowed. fear sank deep into your chest at the thought of your grandma not getting better. surely there was something else the doctors could do, right?
stepping up beside your mom at the kitchen island, you listened in to what your aunt was saying. “they’re trying everything they can. some things work—and she starts getting better—but some things don’t,” you could hear your aunt's voice start to wobble.
your aunt then quickly changed the subject away from your grandma’s depleting health, “why don’t you and y/n come down here for the summer? see grandma, jungwon, and i? it’s been so long since i’ve seen you both!”
you thought about the last time you saw your aunt and cousin. it was at your dad’s funeral—where you and your aunt had desperately tried to keep your mom together. it would be nice if you made a new, happier memory with them.
“oh…” your mom spoke, looking over to your place next to her. you could tell she was trying hard not to break in front of you. “we’ll be there.”
you and your mom were in your aunt’s car now after she had picked the two of you up from the airport. your head was resting against the glass as you peered out to the coastal scenery. you’ve never been to your mom’s hometown before. you had asked her once—sometime after your father’s death—and the sadness in her eyes made you regret asking. it was where your parents met. your father was visiting and the rest is history.
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[ YOU HAD ME AT “HELLO” — 1ST MONTH ] ✈︎ ninety-two days until you return home.
your aunt pulled up to her and your mom’s childhood home where you could see your cousin, jungwon, waiting for you all on the porch. jungwon jogged up to the car just as you were exiting it, “y/nie! it’s been so long since i last saw you. did your head get bigger?”
“shut up!” you said, playfully pushing your cousin away from you. you put a finger to your chin in thought, “hmm, did you get shorter? i swear you were taller the last time i saw you.”
jungwon put a hand to his chest in mock hurt as he playfully rolled his eyes with a grin. he helped you and your mom get your luggage out from the car and drag it all inside.
you were staying in your mom’s childhood bedroom for the summer. although most of her decorations from her teen years had been taken down, you could still see the remnants of your mom in the room. you piled up your suitcases near the closet and dresser, turning to jungwon with a huff as you tried to catch your breath.
“we should head down to the beach after you’re done settling in! you said you’ve never been in the ocean, right?” jungwon asked you. you nodded in reply. you were excited to swim in the ocean and check out what the boardwalk had to offer.
“we should, that sounds fun!” you exclaimed. he then left and you started the lengthy process of turning the bedroom into your own for the summer. it didn’t help that you also overpacked. you couldn’t really tell what to bring and what not to bring to a small seaside town, so you kind of brought everything.
once you finished unpacking and taking a quick visit to your grandma’s room to greet her, you met jungwon in the living room. he was sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone. once he heard your approaching footsteps he looked up. “ready to go?” he asked you.
“ready to go,” you repeated with a nod. you had dressed in your bathing suit and cover before leaving your room and you saw that jungwon had done the same. he was clad in swim trunks with a black shirt. nerves bubbled in you about swimming in the ocean for the first time but you tried to not let anxious thoughts overwhelm you.
you and jungwon were making the short walk down to the ocean, which your aunt thankfully didn’t live too far from, when you caught sight of the boardwalk and marveled at all the shops and people around. you and jungwon laid your towels down in the sand and made your way straight to the bright blue water. squealing as jungwon flicked the cold water at you, you pushed your hands forward to splash him back. you then dunked completely under the water to try and get used to the coldness faster.
“oh my god!” you exclaimed as you surfaced, teeth chattering and body shivering, “i wasn’t expecting the water to be this cold!” you guessed that it was quite nice with the harsh heat of the summer sun beating down on you. jungwon’s laugh filled your ears as he splashed water at you again.
you weren’t the best of swimmers, that fact being very obvious to jungwon once he saw you doggy paddling in the water. you mostly stuck close to the shore, not wanting your feet to not be able to touch the ground. slowly, jungwon got you further and further out to try and help you swim better. it wasn’t working that well.
“i swear if i end up drowning out here because you’re a shitty swim teacher, i’m coming back to haunt you so bad!” you shouted to jungwon as you dipped under the water with the small oncoming wave. jungwon laughed hard, “don’t be mad at me because you’re a shitty swim student! besides, there’s like three lifeguards on the beach right now.”
jungwon motioned back to the shore at the three lifeguards. you turned to look, their small figures elevated from the rest of the crowd. one of them blew their whistle at some kid trying to drown another kid. distantly, you heard him yell, “stop trying to drown her before i kick you off the beach!”
you turned back to jungwon, “they seem preoccupied.”
jungwon shook his head with a smile. “well i’m kind of hungry… i’m gonna go get something to eat. you coming with or staying in the water?” jungwon asked you. you thought it over for a moment. you weren’t particularly hungry. “i’ll stay in the water. you know, hone my swimming skills while you’re gone,” you replied.
“don’t drown!” jungwon said as he began making his way to the shore. you scoffed playfully at him. once you were alone in the water, you started trying to actually swim a little. you decided that you wanted to test yourself to see what you learned by going further out in the ocean.
you were swimming, pretending to be a mermaid and going absolutely nowhere when all of a sudden a bigger wave than normal came rushing towards you. you noticed it a second too late and it crashed into you, causing you to submerge in the water.
just as you surfaced, gasping for air, another wave hit you and submerged you again. you hands grasped at air and your lungs burned as your ears rang. you didn’t know how long you spent being pummeled by the water until you felt arms wrap around you.
you were flipped onto your back as they pulled you to the surface. sputtering and gasping, you were finally able to inhale properly and bring oxygen back to your lungs. you tried to move but your limbs were heavy with exhaustion and you couldn’t help closing your eyes from the bright sun.
your back hit a hard surface and you cracked your eyes open to see that you were on a surfboard. “i got you, don’t worry,” a male voice, who you were assuming was one of the lifeguards, said above you. you started to cough violently as you held on for dear life to the surfboard. “thank you,” you managed to whisper hoarsely.
“no worries!” he responded breezily. you could feel him paddle you back to shore. you focused on taking deep breaths and trying to still your racing heart. you could’ve died back there all because you got cocky. if the lifeguard didn’t rescue you when he did you would’ve drowned.
once you both got back to the shore the lifeguard gave you a once over to ensure everything was all right. he pushed the blonde hair off his forehead as he spoke to you, “are you okay?”
you nodded weakly and said a bit flusteredly, “i think so, yes. thank you again, truly!” he flashed a bright smile at you and you couldn’t help but notice how cute he was. it almost made you want to jump back into the water and purposefully sink to the bottom so he would come and save you again.
“maybe you should stay out of the water for a while,” he said with a smile, “especially if you’re alone.” just at that moment you heard your name being shouted, the sound getting closer and closer to you. it was your cousin and you could hear the worry in his voice.
“oh my god, y/n!” jungwon exclaimed as he bent down towards you in the sand. he kept repeating what he said a couple times as he inspected you. you had to push his hands away and tell him that you were fine thanks to the lifeguard.
“i told you not to drown!” he suddenly shouted. if the people around you weren’t already staring at you, they were now. heat rose to your face from all of the sudden attention and embarrassment filled you. before you could speak the lifeguard chimed in, “technically she didn’t!”
you raised your brows as you smiled at how annoyed jungwon looked from his comment. “exactly, i got saved!” you added. jungwon waved a hand at you as you got to your feet with the aid of the lifeguard. jungwon then grumbled to himself, “i knew i should’ve made you come with me. and just my luck too, i left my food back at the table!”
turning swiftly to you, jungwon took your arm, “alright, beach time is over, we're going home. you get to explain to our moms how you managed to almost drown.” he pushed you towards the entrance of the boardwalk. jungwon then turned to the lifeguard and said, “oh! thank you for saving her!”
the two of you were almost out of the boardwalk when jungwon asked you why you kept looking behind you. you quickly turned to face forward with heated cheeks. you had been staring back at the attractive lifeguard, not realizing how obvious you were being about it. “that lifeguard was cute,” you said meekly.
jungwon looked behind him to look, “oh, jake? you really don’t want to get involved with him, y/n… he’s kind of a player.” you began to laugh off his statement when you turned to look at jake again and saw how he was surrounded by a group of girls in colorful bikinis.
jake had a smirk on his face as he wrapped his arm around a girl with dark hair while talking to another. your heart sunk a little in your chest. of course you weren’t the most special girl in the world, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t feel a little disappointed. you had to be realistic with yourself, someone like jake wasn’t going to fall for an average, everyday girl like you.
“oh…” was all you could say in reply as you turned back to the path you were taking home. you tried to think of the bright side of things—at least you wouldn’t end the summer with a failed relationship and a broken heart.
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it had been almost a week since you arrived and besides the small beach trip you and jungwon took when you first got here, you haven’t left the house much. you were pretty sure that you were driving your mom and aunt crazy, especially when your mom brought up the idea of you getting a summer job. “it’s easy cash!” your mom explained, setting her open book down on her lap.
you aunt chimed in, “yeah! i heard mrs. song needed some more employees, why don’t you go down to the juice bar and apply?” you supposed that earning a little bit of cash while you were here wasn’t that bad of an idea, so you did exactly what your aunt suggested.
mrs. song didn’t even spare one glance at you and all she asked was, “can you make a smoothie?” you told her that you could—and very well if you do say so yourself—and she responded with, “great, you’re hired! you start monday at nine.”
you hadn’t realized that it would be that easy. she didn’t even interview you, but you put it to the back of your mind. you weren’t the one to pass up easy money. you had thought that it would at least take maybe an hour to go through the whole process, so now you were out and about with nothing to do. you decided to explore the town a little by yourself, since you still were unfamiliar with the whole place.
as your feet moved mindlessly, you looked around. it was a beautiful day out today, just cool enough for the summer sun not to boil you. you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realize that you were climbing over some rocks to a secluded part of the beach until you almost slipped and fell.
there was a cove where a small amount of the water flowed in to an open cave-like entrance. being the curious person you were, you decided to follow it. you peeked into the cave, there was a huge opening at the top of it that let in a lot of sunlight. cautiously, with your flip flops in your hand, you made your way into the cave. you guess it wasn't really a cave at all, more of an open rock structure.
you were in the middle of the cave, the opening at the ceiling shining sunlight onto you, when you heard behind you, “oh!” jumping in shock, you turned to where the voice came from.
it was the cute lifeguard who saved you earlier this week—jake. he wore his shock completely on his face as he was frozen mid stride. there was a towel balled up in his arms along with what looked like some fishing equipment. heat quickly spread through your face as you struggled to make eye contact with him. “wasn’t expecting anyone to be here…” he murmured to himself, shaking the blonde hair out of his eyes slightly. you noticed he had an accent.
“oh! i’ll go!” you quickly said, already making your way back to the entrance. jake held up his hands to stop you and in the process his towel fell to the sand below the both of you. “no, no, no, that’s okay! you can stay if you want. uh… hello!” he replied with a smile.
you froze right in front of him like a deer in headlights, but managed to nod. he nodded back to you, smile widening, before making his way further into the cave. he sat his stuff down a couple feet from the small pool of water that formed from the ocean. you stood in the same spot by the entrance and watched him.
“nice meeting you again! what was your name? are you new here? i feel like you are. i haven’t seen you around before,” jake asked you, looking up from where he fiddled with his fishing hook. you took small steps towards him and nodded. “uh, yeah! my name’s y/n—i’m just here for the summer actually! thanks again for, you know, saving my life,” you said awkwardly.
jake chuckled, “seriously! no worries, y/n! so… how’d you find this place? i mean, nobody really knows about it but me.” he put his hook down and stood from his spot, giving you his full attention.
“i was just wandering around really…” you trailed, scratching the back of your neck, “i’ve been trying to explore the area since everything is so new to me.” jake’s eyebrows raised and he nodded at your words.
“you know what, you should let me show you around town since you’re new here!” jake exclaimed like it meant absolutely nothing. your eyebrows shot up at his offer. he wanted to show you around? just the two of you?
you shook your head a little and waved a hand in the air at him, “oh, you don’t have to bother! i can find my way around by my—“
jake cut you off and playfully said, “come on, i insist! i can’t just let you wander around blind! besides, this town may be small, but it does have its secrets. and lucky for you, i just so happen to know all of them!” he motioned around the cave that the two of you were in. “for example: this place,” he added.
call it genuine curiosity or the fact that you found him so attractive and charming that you couldn’t say no, you agreed. “if you insist!” you laughed sheepishly and jake smiled from ear to ear. the warning of him being a player got completely pushed out of your mind and all you could think about was the opportunity of getting close to him. everything seemed so perfect for it.
jake walked up to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “good, good! i was gonna go fishing, but this is way more fun. from here on out, this place will be known as our spot!” jake held a hand out as he turned the two of you in a circle. you giggled and glanced over at him, “our spot, got it!”
for the rest of the day, you and jake spent time getting to know each other as he showed you around town. he was a lot different than you thought he would be. for one, you expected him to be a lot more standoffish, but he was really friendly instead.
the two of you were sitting at one of the tables outside of a food stand after getting food when you asked jake what he liked to do for fun—besides the fishing he was going to do earlier. “well, i like long walks on the beach and—“ he joked before you cut him off with a nudge to his shoulder.
“be serious!” you exclaimed as he started laughing, which made you laugh too. jake raised his shoulders and exclaimed, “what! i do like long walks on the beach, they’re calming!”
after the two of you settled down a little, jake suddenly asked, “do you have a bucket list?” you thought for a moment. you’ve heard of the whole concept of bucket lists, but you always thought them too unrealistic to actually go through with it. it was more of those things that you thought would be nice to do, but knew you were never going to be able to do it.
“no, i don’t,” you replied.
jake’s eyes widened at you from across the table. the setting sun casted him in a hazy glow and made his blonde hair almost appear pinkish. “you don’t have a bucket list? no, we need to fix this. we’re coming up with a bucket list together—what’s something you always wanted to do?” he asked rapidly.
“i’ll have to think this through first!” you quickly spoke, holding your hands out in front of you to slow him down, “it has to be realistic if we’re gonna do this together, i’m only here for three months! and i want to be able to have memories of it—physical memories!”
“okay, okay, i’ll give you until tomorrow to come up with some ideas!” jake laughed, “but what do you mean physical memories?” he leaned forward onto the table and rested his head in his hand as he waited for your answer.
humming in thought, you replied, “like one of those cheap disposable cameras! we can take a bunch of pictures of us going through the bucket list and at the end of summer when i’m gone we can get them developed! that way we stay in the moment.” jake’s eyes lit up and he practically dragged you out of your seat and down the boardwalk.
“i know just the place!” he said and led you towards the entrance of the boardwalk. after walking a short distance, jake pulled you into a place that selled various types of cameras. you had gotten there just in time, since the store was just about to close for the night.
the two of you had run around the store looking for the disposable cameras you were talking about, having absolutely no luck, until you heard jake call out your name. when you made your way over to him he held two in his hands out for you to see. “one for you and one for me!” he grinned.
you made your way over to the register and jake paid for them—which you complained about but he ignored you anyways. once you got outside you both ripped the packages open. you heard jake turning the dial and looked up. he had the camera up to his face and took a picture of you just as you looked up.
blinking rapidly, a shy smile took over your face. “what was that for?” you asked. jake grinned from behind the camera and lowered it to look fully at you.
“i want my first memory to be of you,” jake said simply. your eyes widened and your heart did backflips in your chest. heat spread to your cheeks and you looked away at the intensity of his stare.
“really?” you asked quietly. you heard jake’s laugh and his finger was under your chin. he turned your head so you were looking at him. the two of you were so close you could feel his breath fanning across your cheeks. jake nodded at you.
with a smile he added, “you’re so cute.” he held his camera up and aimed it at the both of you so that you were in frame. still shocked from what just happened, you idly looked up the camera with a dazed smile and jake snapped another picture.
to break the sudden tension, you turned to him with a flustered smile. “i want one of us too!” you said cheerfully. you held your camera up and jake wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close until you were completely up against him. your face felt on fire as you snapped the picture.
you looked over to jake—who still had his arm wrapped around you waist—and quickly came up with an excuse to escape the tension. “i should probably start heading home,” you muttered as jake stared back at you, “it’s getting late.”
jake slowly removed his arm—not far, as it now rested on your hip as you turned to face him. “i’ll walk you,” he replied.
the walk back to your aunt’s was shorter than you expected and it made you wish that you purposefully took a couple wrong turns so that you could stay with jake longer. you were beginning to really enjoy his company and wanted to get to know him more. you took a step towards the porch before turning to jake. “this is me…” you trailed.
he had given you his number on the walk over so you could talk more about the summer plans you had come up with. “it was nice getting to know you today,” jake spoke softly, a smile slipping onto his lips. you nodded and agreed with him.
“thank you for making my summer more interesting! if it weren’t for your bucket list idea i probably would just stay in the house the whole summer whenever i’m not working at the juice bar…” you chuckled. jake joined in with you and said that it was no problem.
for a second, you thought that he was going to kiss you, like how this scene played out before in so many movies. an awkward smile overcame your face and you took another step towards the door. “i’ll see you later?” you asked, taking more steps towards the door.
“absolutely! after your shift tomorrow—you did say you worked tomorrow, right?” jake asked and you nodded in reply. he then said, “i’ll see you tomorrow then!”
when you finally got into the house you inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. you took your shoes and jacket off by the door just as your mom came down the stairs. “you were gone all day! where have you been?” she asked curiously and made her way to the kitchen.
following her, you responded, “just out exploring the town… i made a new friend!” she hummed and turned to raise her eyebrows at the last part. “new friend? that’s good, honey! maybe you won’t be inside all summer,” she teased.
the two of you laughed and you made your way upstairs to get ready for bed. you placed the disposable camera on your dresser, a small smile coming to your lips as you thought about the day you just had. slipping into bed, you tried to not let the excitement for tomorrow not let you sleep and closed your eyes.
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jake: meet me at our spot? jake: after your shift, of course.
your shift had just ended when jake had texted you. the two of you texted all night about potential bucket list ideas for the summer but neither of you had decided on anything concrete.
you: i’ll see you there!
when you got to you and jake’s “spot”, he was waiting there for you, two drinks in hand while sitting in the sand. the sunlight from up above perfectly lit him up and made his blonde hair glow. he extended one of the drinks out to you—the same drink you had gotten last night on your little adventure together—as he rose to his feet.
you thanked him with a warm smile and the two of you had begun going over different ideas for your bucket list. “remember though, i’m only here for three months! it can’t be anything crazy like going skydiving or anything,” you told jake as you sat side by side in the sand near the entrance of the cave.
jake nodded and pretended to cross something off midair. “got it—no skydiving,” he said with a playful pout. you giggled at him while nudging him with your shoulder as you rolled your eyes.
“what about… surfing?” you asked, turning to jake. “i’ve never been surfing before, but that’s mainly because i can’t swim… maybe that isn’t a good idea actually.” you let out a nervous laugh as you recalled the way you and jake met and your cheeks heated from the embarrassment.
“lucky for you,” jake said while standing to his feet and putting his hands on his hips, “you have the number one lifeguard here to teach you and look out for you!” jake started flexing in various poses, making you laugh as you looked up at him.
“seriously, though. i can teach you! nothing will happen to you on my watch,” jake exclaimed as he sat back down. you shrugged, he was your best option considering that he’s literally a lifeguard. if something went south, at least you knew you’d survive with him by your side. nodding, you agreed, “okay, deal!”
you and jake spent the rest of the time at your spot debating on various things you both wanted to do for your bucket list. other than him teaching you how to surf, the both of you also came up with stargazing, going to the summer splash charity event, and doing something adventurous—like skinny dipping.
the summer splash charity event is a party that raises money to provide resources for the sheltered animals in town. according to jake, it happens every year and everyone goes to it. it’s a formal event that everyone dresses to the nines for. you made a mental note to ask your mom about it to see if she had a dress you could borrow.
“skinny dipping?!” you whipped around to where jake was sitting, feet in the water as he mindlessly dipped his finger into it. he looked back to where you were standing, “what? you said you wanted to do something adventurous and that’s the first thing i thought of!”
you wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly self conscious, as you shifted your weight from one leg to the other. noticing the change in your body language, jake stood as came up to you slowly. “we can do it at night when the beach is completely empty—or not at all if you’re not comfortable. it’s completely up to you,” jake said softly.
you looked down to your feet as you thought about it. you did tell him that you wanted to do something adventurous this summer, break out of your shell. there’s nothing more adventurous and nothing that screams “breaking out of your shell” quite like skinny dipping does. you inhaled deeply, “no… let’s do it—only at night though and only when the beach is completely empty.”
jake’s eyebrows raised but you couldn’t miss the slight smirk that was making its way onto his lips. “are you sure?” he asked seriously.
you hit jake in the arm. “don’t pretend like you aren’t excited to see a naked girl!” you joked, trying to lift the tension. the smirk on his face shifted to a grin and he broke out into a laugh. jake held his hands up in the air and turned away from you. “i can’t say that i’m not,” he replied.
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the first month of your stay was almost coming to an end and it seemed as if you and jake were attached at the hip. for the entire month, jake had shown you the ins and outs of the small seaside town until you knew it like the back of your hand. your disposable cameras had filled up and you had to buy another one from all the pictures you’ve taken.
a smile came to your face and heat spread across your cheeks as you thought about one of the special pictures you’ve taken just yesterday. you and jake were out on the town again, him showing you this skate park that nobody really uses anymore. the two of you sat on the edge of the ramp and you listened as jake pointed out various graffitied names and told you about the people behind them.
it was nighttime, and you knew you should start heading home before it got too late out, but—like always—you didn’t want your time with jake to end. the moment grew quiet and your eyes traveled over all the different names and made up different stories for them. you felt a pair of eyes on you and looked over to where jake was staring intently at you.
“i’m glad i got to meet you,” he said softly, leaning closer to you. you looked away briefly, a flustered smile lighting up your features and face heating. you couldn’t imagine a different timeline where you didn’t meet jake.
“i’m glad i got to meet you, too,” you replied shyly. jake smiled and reached his hand up to cup your cheek. for another moment, which seemed everlasting, the two of you looked into each other’s eyes. when his lips pressed to yours, everything felt as if it fell into place. it felt as if this was the moment when everything clicked—when you knew what you’d finally been looking for.
you were filled with passion that threatened to break out. you pulled jake closer and the thought of needing to breathe didn’t even cross your mind. that was, until your lungs screamed for air and you and jake finally pulled away from each other.
a smile broke out onto your face and it did on jake’s as well. he chuckled slightly and held your hands in his. then his eyes lit up suddenly and he was pushing himself off the ground and jogging over to where your bags were.
“what are you doing?” you giggled, turning fully to where he stood. he dug in both of your bags and pulled out the cameras. jake then jogged back over to you, dropping back down to the ground next to you, and handed you your camera.
“you said you wanted physical memories, right?” jake held up his camera so that the two of you were in frame with all the graffitied names in the back. “say cheese!” he smiled and you laughed—which he caught with the flash of the camera.
“now you,” jake added, urging you to hold up your camera. you laughed again and held up your camera, head tilted against jake’s, as you snapped a picture. you turned to jake and he smiled at you. he then pressed a kiss to your cheek and laughed at how flustered you got from it, which he also managed to catch on camera.
when you did finally get home, drunk on the thought of the kiss you and jake shared, jungwon was waiting for you. he sat on the couch, some random show he wasn’t watching playing on the tv. when you stepped through the door, he turned towards you.
“you and jake have been spending a lot of time together…” jungwon trailed, eyebrows knitting together. the smile on your face vanished and you quickly took off your shoes.
“yeah…” you mumbled in reply, “what about it? we’re friends.” you didn’t mean for your words to come out so harsh, but you couldn’t help it. you were getting two different ideas of jake and you believed the one that came straight from the source more rather than the one that was passed around.
jungwon’s eyebrows raised slightly, “i just want you to be careful and to not get hurt. i told you, he’s a player, and i don’t want you to get caught up—“
“i’m a big girl, jungwon. i can handle myself,” you cut him off abruptly. anger pulsated through you. why does he keep telling you this? “jake isn’t like that—not anymore.”
before jungwon could speak again, you stormed off to your room. you refused to let his words ruin your night, not after you and jake had finally kissed. you tried to focus your mind on the kiss, the way his soft lips felt against yours and the tickle of his blonde hair—dark brown roots barely grown out—against your skin.
inhaling deeply, you got ready for bed. under the security of the covers, you opened up your phone to send a message to jake. a smile made its way across your face and it took everything in you not to squeal as you put your phone on your nightstand.
you: i had a really great time tonight! sweet dreams! jake: me too! sweet dreams, pretty.
you mentally slapped yourself to stop thinking about his text. “pretty,” he called you pretty. you giggled to yourself and turned over in your bed, shutting your eyes.
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[ YOU KNOW I’LL “SEE YOU LATER” — 2ND MONTH ] ✈︎ sixty-two days until you return home.
it’s been almost a week since the kiss you and jake shared. the two of you had fallen naturally into things a couple do—go on what seem like dates, kiss and such. you were so sure that jake was going to ask you to be his girlfriend, yet he’s made nothing official.
you thought that maybe you were imagining the whole thing, that the two of you haven’t kissed at all and nothing has changed between the two of you, but that was until he kissed you again. and again. the only thing he asked you is if you wanted to go to a beach party one of his friends is having this weekend—which you agreed to.
you sat slumped against the counter of the juice bar. today was a slow day and you began regretting working there at all with how much your feet hurt. “i don’t know, what do you think? am i overthinking things? i just feel like he should’ve asked me by now…” you looked to your side to where your coworker, hana, leaned near the smoothie machine.
you met hana on your third day of working at the juice bar and the two of you became fast friends. you didn’t have a lot of shifts together, but when you did she told you all the gossip on some of the people around town who you’ve never met and probably never will. in return, you mainly shared your anxious thoughts revolving jake, which she didn’t seem to mind hearing.
“are you sure he’s not playing you?” hana asked, somewhat hesitantly. you sighed and looked away, focusing your attention on the ocean waves ahead. you hated how many times people asked you that question.
“there’s nothing to play if i’m not even his girlfriend,” you stated. to which hana responded with a “…not quite.”
“i know this is a sore subject for you so i’ll keep it brief, but what if he is?” she pushed off the counter and made her way over to you, slumping next to you as she looked at you. she rested her head in her hand, “i don’t really know this jake, but i have heard of him. and i’ve heard that he cheated on his last girlfriend. now that could just be a rumor, but he doesn’t exactly have the cleanest track record. the guy has hooked up with every girl he could lay his eyes on—what if he’s just trying to get into your pants?”
you groaned and buried your face in your arms. this really didn’t help with your overthinking. what if jake was just trying to get into your pants? what if this all was some elaborate scheme to get close to the new girl so he could sleep with you? what if he wasn’t the person he was making himself out to be?
“what if he is?” you asked, voice muffled. you already knew the answer, hana didn’t even need to say it. and she didn’t. hana rubbed comforting circles onto your back instead.
“my shift is about to end… i really hope that what i said isn’t true y/n, but for your own sake… i would be careful around him.” you got up from the counter, nodding at hana and her departure, and sighed again. from your pocket you felt your phone buzz and looking at it, you laughed wryly. the universe really does have a way with things…
jake: hang out with me after your shift? jake: we can get a move on with our bucket list and i can teach you how to surf!
you wanted to bang your head off the counter at how your heart fluttered from him messaging you. you wanted to heed everyone’s constant warnings, but a part of you wanted to push them out of your head. a part of you wanted to cast caution to the wind and take the leap of faith. jake couldn’t be playing you, he couldn’t. that just didn’t seem like him. a part of you wanted to keep moving forward with your relationship, close your eyes to the fact that you could very well be walking down the path of getting hurt.
at this point, you were in too deep. if you got hurt, then you got hurt. at least then you’d know it was real—at least for you. caution be damned. you inhaled sharply as your fingers typed out your response:
you: of course! meet me at the beach after i grab my swimsuit? jake: i’ll see you later!
after your shift ended—and you ran back home to grab your swimsuit—you met jake at the beach like you both agreed. he was already clad in swim trunks, the lack of shirt shocking you for a quick second, and leaning against the surfboard he had next to him. “you ready?” jake asked as you walked up to him, a smile gracing his lips as he pushed off his surfboard.
you nodded, eager to get into the water and cool down your heated cheeks. the two of you made your way into the water together after he grabbed another surfboard for himself, passing the one he was carrying to you.
jake had begun teaching you how to actually even get on the board, firstly getting onto your stomach and then eventually standing. when you finally cheered at the fact that you were able to stand and not embarrassingly slide off into the water, he then taught you how to actually ride a wave.
“steady… and then up!” jake guided next to you as the two of you caught a small wave. when you surfed back to the shore you jumped to your feet and cheered, wrapping your arms around his bare torso.
“i did it! i did it!” you cheered, twirling you and jake as he laughed. you pulled away from him, smile still as big as the sun. jake pulled you into a brief kiss, pulling away with a proud smile. “you did it!” jake cheered back.
with your flustered gaze, you turned back to the oncoming waves with newfound courage, but instead noticed something else. in the distance, you could see someone flailing in the water. their head went under with the oncoming waves. in wordless shock all you could do was point towards the water while hitting jake’s arm until the words finally spilled from your mouth, “someone’s drowning!”
jake turned towards the direction you pointed in just as the person in the water gasped for air and went back under. his eyes widened and he briefly looked around at the lifeguards present on the beach. when he saw that none of them were paying attention, he picked up his surfboard from the sand and took off towards the water.
you stood back on the shore, worry eating at you as jake pulled the person onto the surfboard and swam them back to shore. it reminded you of how he saved you on your first day here. when he reached shore you helped him get the unconscious person onto the sand as one of the lifeguards ran towards your direction.
your eyes widened in horror as you realized it was your friend, hana. jake alternated doing mouth to mouth and chest compressions on her until her eyes sprang open and she coughed up water. “oh my god, hana! are you okay?” you bent down to ask with furrowed brows, cradling her cheek with your hand.
weakly, she nodded and smiled at you. hana turned her attention to jake, her smile widened as she let out a hoarse “thank you, you saved my life!” jake gave her a tight-lipped smile and nodded, his eyes finding yours. the two of you backed up as the lifeguard on duty took over.
“that’s one of my good friends from work!” you exclaimed as you looked back at the scene, brows knitted together. “i really hope she’s okay… almost drowning is really scary.”
jake’s hand found yours and he pulled you back to where your towels were. his face was weirdly blank and there was what almost seemed to be a scowl on his lips. you put a hand on his shoulder and leaned towards him, “hey… you alright?”
jake just nodded, giving you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “that was just kinda hectic… why don’t we go do something else instead of surfing again?” he asked you. you nodded, an empathetic smile forming on your lips.
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the weekend had arrived and the beach party that seemed to be the talk of the town was tonight. instead of being excited for your first ever beach party, you were nervously shifting your phone in your hands. since the whole beach incident, it’s been almost radio silence from jake. when he was answering your texts, they were only one word replies or dry texts.
you didn’t understand what had gone wrong. at first you thought he needed space. saving someone’s life was no easy feat and definitely had to take a toll on him, but you wanted to be there for him any way that you could.
when you saw him one day while working, he acted like he didn’t even hear you calling him—choosing to instead hurry off with one of his friends. your heart dropped and hana rubbed more comforting circles into your back as you tried not to cry. “he really seems like he’s playing you, y/n…” hana had trailed off hesitantly, knowing how much of a sensitive issue this was for you. “maybe you should just end things officially with him.”
what if jake was playing you?
you did the finishing touches on your outfit for the party and took another look at yourself in the mirror, a small smile forming on your lips. it was just your bathing suit and a simple cover up, but you looked good, if you did say so yourself. you grabbed your phone again, hoping to hear from jake but knew that you wouldn’t. sighing, you threw your phone onto your bed.
you debated even going to the stupid party—in fact, you were already an hour and a half late for it. what was the point if the person who invited you wasn’t even talking to you? but you thought fuck that. you were going to go out and enjoy your summer at a party you were going to have fun at, with or without jake.
after doing another once over in the mirror, you grabbed your things and made your way downstairs for the walk down to the beach. if jake was going to ignore you, you were going to ignore him right back. tonight, you were only going to care about you, not him. two can play at this petty game.
you could hear the music playing from the party, which only got louder and louder the nearer you got to it. there were bodies everywhere, including those in the water. everyone was clad in their bathing suits, either chatting with others or pulling each other into the water. you made your way over to where a bar was set up and grabbed yourself a drink.
you didn’t want to get too drunk tonight, since you were alone, but you wanted something in your system. nursing the drink, you wandered around to find something to do. it dawned on you how little people you knew here. you didn’t really expand your friendships much besides jake and hana.
the cool night breeze made you shiver slightly, so you decided to make your way over to where there was a campfire set up. there were plenty of people around it and maybe you could meet some new friends. that’s when your heart dropped.
just a few feet ahead of you was jake and his friends, no doubt drunk out of their minds. you wondered how you didn’t hear their loud bantering over the music, but you guess that it all sort of blended in. jake sat on a beach chair, some random girl in his lap with his hand resting on her ass. it wasn’t any girl you recognized.
what the fuck, you thought, anger bubbling up inside you. i knew it, i should’ve knew he was playing me like the fucking fool i am. just at that moment you and jake made eye contact, the smile on his face faltering as he took in your look of pure devastation. you should’ve just stayed home.
turning on your feet, your eyes scanned for somewhere you could run to, but seeing nowhere good enough they landed on the water ahead. it’ll have to do.
you stripped off your bathing suit cover and speed walked with fevered passion out towards the water, hoping that the darkness will cover up your tracks. you didn’t even care that the water was freezing cold, you couldn’t feel it with how the anger was heating up your skin. instead, you dipped your head underwater for a couple seconds, complete silence and darkness calming you briefly, before surfacing again. luckily, jake didn’t follow you out—if you could even consider that luck.
as soon as you surfaced, you were face to face with a stranger you didn’t know. you let out a shocked gasp and moved backwards. “sorry,” the stranger awkwardly chuckled, giving you some space. “i saw you storm in the water—it’s not safe to be out here in the dark swimming in the ocean alone.”
you quirked an eyebrow at him, “what’s it to you?” you really didn’t need more people making this moment difficult for you.
his face lit up like he forgot to mention a very crucial piece of information. “oh! uh—i’m a lifeguard.” he held out his hand to you, the moonlight illuminating it. what was up with you and lifeguards? you hesitantly took it and gave him a wary smile. “i’m jay. you’re jake’s girl, right?”
your smile immediately dropped. you weren’t “jake’s girl,” and it was clear that you never was. all you were to him was some pawn in a game you didn’t even really know you were playing. “not jake’s girl,” you responded.
you looked back to the campfire, seeing that jake and some of his friends were nowhere to be found. you turned back to jay, “and i guess you’re right. i can't swim that well anyways.” a sheepish smile made it’s way onto your face.
“maybe i should get you back to shore then…” jay laughed, “get you warmed up by the campfire? it’s pretty chilly out here and i wouldn’t want you to get sick.” you nodded and the two of you swam back to the shore together. as soon as you stepped out, your teeth chattered and your body shook like a leaf. all the heat from the anger dissipated and now you were just cold.
you and jay sat side by side on a log, the flames from the fire drying you off and warming your bodies. after a couple moments, jay turned to you and said, “you don’t seem to be one who falls for a player’s antics like jake’s.”
caught completely by surprise, you cleared your throat slightly as you thought of something to say. you weren’t one to fall for a player, especially after being warned so much about him. it was unlike you. but there was just something about jake that kept luring you in, like a lamb to the slaughter. “i guess i was too caught up in being in a new town that i put caution aside…” you trailed, staring down at your hands.
jay hummed, “ah, new girl. i see.” you looked over to him and nodded, trying to lighten the mood with a small laugh. “you live and you learn,” jay added, almost solemnly. it made you wonder what he had to go through to give you such advice. you didn’t have the chance to ask before you saw jake barreling his way over towards you, stumbling over his own feet.
he stood across the fire from you and jay, anger dripping from his face. “wow, you move on quick!” he seethed, eyes locking on yours. jake’s accent was heavy and thick, words slurred. you scoffed at him. did he think you didn’t see him with that other girl on his lap?
you shot up from your seat, “i move on quick? me? you literally had some girl on your lap after ignoring me for days, jake.” in the corner of your eyes you saw the attention the two of you were gathering. people dipping by other’s ears to whisper about the two of you. you didn’t even have to guess what they were saying. you knew that it had to be something along the lines of “jake sim strikes again! another stupid girl fell into his trap. they just don’t know how to learn.”
ignoring your words, jake instead said, “i didn’t know you were such a whore, y/n.” you face contorted to one of hurt and you took a small step back, the back of your foot knocking against the log you were just seated on.
jay jumped from the log, moving ever so slightly to step in front of you. “what the fuck, man?” jay hissed towards jake. jake didn’t even pay him any attention, his eyes never left yours.
you didn’t know how everything went so wrong. it seemed like just yesterday jake was kissing you for the first time at the abandoned skate park. now everything was so twisted and you were left standing in the center of it all. you desperately tried to not let tears well up in your eyes. jake didn’t get to go treat you this way—he didn’t get to win. you looked him dead in the eyes, “what the fuck is wrong with you, jake?”
before he could answer, his friend came up to him and slang and arm around his shoulder. you recognized him, despite jake never introducing you to any of his friends. park sunghoon, jake’s bestfriend and right-hand man—and no doubt another player. his eyes glided over your body, still somewhat wet from your dip in the ocean. his lips curled up into a smirk, “who’s this jake? victim number…” he trailed off into a laugh, eyes hooded from the alcohol. “oh wait… i lost count,” sunghoon laughed again.
the anger disappeared from jake’s face, now replaced with complete detachment as he turned to sunghoon and laughed. you literally couldn’t believe what you were seeing. was this how he treated every girl who had unfortunately fallen into his web?
“she’s cute,” sunghoon said, eye’s trailing you again. you had the urge to cover up, pulling your bathing suit cover tighter around you, suddenly feeling disgusted at the fact that they were talking about you like you weren’t even there.
“make your move, i bet she’ll let you take her right here,” jake replied, looking at you. your mouth opened in shock and you were frozen in place. jake was like a completely different person. no—this must’ve been the real him he was hiding from you to get in your pants. you were in such shock that you didn’t even see jay’s fist connecting with jake’s face until they were rolling around in the sand throwing more fists at each other.
you stood in the same spot, unmoving, as more of jake’s friends showed up and pulled them apart before anything serious could happen besides some cut lips. jake pushed his friends off of him and stormed off towards a group of girls—the one girl in particular who was in his lap earlier. he pulled her towards up and smashed his lips onto her’s, all the while making direct eye contact with you.
you looked away, scoffing to yourself as you made your way to where jay stood brushing sand off himself. “i’m so sorry, are you okay?” you asked while aiding him in brushing off sand.
in lieu of a reply, jay hissed, “he’s such a fucking asshole. how did you even get caught up in his drama?” when jay turned to you, there wasn’t any anger in his eyes—at least, not towards you. it was a genuine question, and somehow that made you feel worse about everything.
you looked back over to where jake stormed off to to see that him and his friends—and the girl he kissed—were all walking over to the ocean to swim. they left abandoned articles of clothing in their wake as they started to chase each other into the water. you sighed mellowly, “i thought he was different, not who everyone said he was… it turns out i was wrong. he’s exactly like how everyone says he is.”
you couldn’t help the stray tear that escaped your eye, quickly moving your hand to wipe it away. you felt jay’s eyes on you as you stared down at your toes in the sand. he doesn’t get to win, you thought, opening your mouth to speak as you looked up at jay.
jay beat you to it. “let’s get a drink. take your mind off of it?” he offered. you closed your mouth and nodded, walking side by side with him towards the bar.
you were well past tipsy now as you and jay spent however long talking and getting to know each other. just as the two of you were in the middle of a conversation about your favorite aquatic animal, jake walked up to you. his head was down and he looked like a kicked puppy as he stood in front of you. he was only in his swim trunks and almost completely dry, so you were guessing it’s been a while since he’s been out of the water. “y/n…” he trailed, looking up at you through slightly wet strands of blonde hair.
“the fuck do you want, jake? here to call me a whore again? just leave me alone,” you waved a hand in the air at him, taking a sip from your drink. jake tried to take your hand in his but you snatched it out of his grip. you were guessing he was sober now.
“can we please just talk?” jake asked. his eyes skimmed over to jay who was glaring at him. “privately?” jake added. you laughed at him. is he serious?
“she told you to leave her alone, dude,” jay said, tone a little harsh.
jake rolled his eyes, they landed on jay with a glare, “shut the fuck up, jay. this has nothing to do with you.” jake turned his gaze back to you, gaze softening completely. he almost looked sorry. you almost laughed again.
“please, y/n. just five minutes and you’ll never have to see me again,” jake pleaded.
next to you, jay scoffed. “you promise?” jay cooed towards jake and jake’s glare immediately came back as his eyes snapped towards him. you sighed.
“five minutes, jake. that’s all i’m giving you to explain everything,” you spoke quietly. jay looked over at you. in his eyes you saw his question, “are you sure?” you gave him a slight nod and then stood. “don’t waste my time,” you added.
you wobbled slightly as you stood and jake took your hand. again, you pulled it out of his grasp. “i can walk by myself,” you bit out. jake’s eyebrows raised in slight shock but he said nothing as he guided you to somewhere private.
he led you a little bit away from where the party was, but close enough that you still heard the music blasting from the speakers. he pulled you behind an empty stand where wandering eyes couldn’t see you. you turned to him with a deep sigh and raised brows raised as you crossed your arms. “time is ticking,” is all you said.
“she meant nothing… i promise. it's you i want, y/n,” jake started, hands coming to rest on your shoulders. you rolled your eyes at him. meant nothing? so he thinks you’re stupid.
“doesn’t seem that way to me,” you countered. you turned to walk away. if he was just going to lie to you then there wasn’t any point of hearing him out. jake grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards him. he cupped your cheek and guided your gaze back up to his. “i’m serious. it is you that i want. my head was everywhere and the alcohol didn’t help and i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, y/n, i didn’t want to hurt you.”
in your head you cursed him for being so alluring, and then cursed yourself for drinking so much because now you were melting like puddy in his hands. you didn’t want to believe him, you really didn’t, but the more you searched his eyes, the more you saw the truth in them. jake wanted you, that much was the truth. but was he truly sorry… that was to be determined.
the anger in your eyes softened and your eyes glazed over, “why would you do that, jake? you don’t talk to me for days and then i come here and see you all up on some girl? after spending so much time with me and acting like we’re a couple?” you swear you saw jake’s heart break as he pulled you into his chest.
“i know, baby, i know i messed up and i’m sorry. let me make it up to you and show you that you’re the only one who matters to me,” jake said softly and you pulled away to look at him. he pressed his lips to yours, his hand cupping your face gently. you shivered slightly at his touch and the petname falling from his lips. a fire lit up inside you and you pressed your lips to his harder, wrapping your arms around his neck.
jake backed you up against the empty stand, lifting you so you sat onto the ledge that was lower than the actual stand. he pulled away from you slightly, enough for the both of you to catch your breath. “tell me now if you don’t want this and i’ll stop,” jake breathed.
you kissed him again, skin hot in all the places he touched you. “i want this,” you briefly broke apart to say. jake dropped to his knees between your legs. you shifted slightly as he pressed kisses onto your bare inner thighs, lifting your legs so they rested over his shoulders.
“uh—jake…” you stammered, eyes fluttering closed for a quick second. jake hummed, looking up at you with a raised brow. “i-i’m a virgin… i’ve never done any of this before…”
jake’s lips curled into a wicked smirk. he rose, thumbs trailing your thighs and kissed you. “that’s okay,” he said as he got to his knees again, “i’ll take good care of you, baby.”
you gave him a sheepish smile as you lifted your bathing suit cover to pool around your hips. you then lifted your hips so jake could take your bottoms off and scooted to the edge of the ledge you were sitting on.
once your bottoms were off, you shivered slightly from the sudden coldness. more from the way jake was now pressing kisses close to your core. it was embarrassing how you were absolutely dripping for him despite being angry at him not too long ago, but either jake didn’t notice or didn’t seem to care much. he returned your legs back to his shoulders.
jake’s mouth latched onto your clit and his tongue swirled around it. you jumped, a moan escaping your lips as your back arched slightly. his tongue continued to swirl around your clit and his lips sucked in, making your back arch more. your fingers ran through his blonde hair, grabbing at it to try and steady yourself. jake looked up at you and you could feel the smirk on his lips.
your breath was heavy and you shamelessly moaned from how good jake was making you feel. if there was one good thing that came out of all of this, it was finding out just how good jake was with his tongue. you were so high on cloud nine that you moaned a little too loud once you felt jake slowly enter a finger into you, testing the waters, pulling in and out slowly. he then slowly slid in another finger, the stretch making your head whirl.
jake laughed, the vibrations sending shockwaves throughout your body. you gasped when his fingers angled up, pressing right against your sweet spot, and bucked your hips forward. “feels so good,” you whimpered. “p-please don’t stop!”
you legs began to shake and the pleasure was so much that you couldn’t help but rock your hips towards jake’s mouth and fingers. jake started to to hum against your clit lightly, fingers moving faster. you gripped his hair and the edge of the ledge tigher, “just how many girls have you treated like this?” you breathed out between moans. your eyes were squeezed shut and you felt how close you were to being undone. “is this what you do to get back on their good side?” you asked.
jake pulled his mouth away from you and your eyes fluttered open to look down at him from the loss. his fingers continued to move rapidly. “you wouldn’t be the only girl,” jake commented. you didn’t even get a chance to respond as he pressed his fingers against your walls and you came undone onto his fingers. you squeezed your eyes shut and cried out, chest rising and falling harshly.
when you came down from your high, with the aid of jake and now suddenly sober, you opened your eyes just as he pulled his fingers out of you and to his mouth while rising to his feet. you glared at him harshly as he licked his fingers clean, mouth and chin wet with your arousal and blonde hair messy. looking behind you, you reached for some napkins and cleaned yourself up before putting your bathing suit bottoms back up.
you threw the rest of the napkins at his face and pushed him away from you as you jumped off the ledge. “you’re such an asshole,” you muttered angrily as you stormed back off in the direction of the party. from behind you, you could hear jake calling your name as he jogged after you.
“fuck off, jake!” you yelled, not bothering to turn around as you moved faster.
when you got back to the party, you went up to the campfire where jay was still sitting, a bottle in his hands. “thanks for talking to me tonight, but i’m gonna head home actually,” you told him, trying to give him your best fake smile but it instead coming out in a half grimace. you heard your name being called and jay stood.
“i’ll walk you home,” jay said as he placed his bottle in the sand against the log. you nodded and the two of you quickly walked off.
the walk back to your house was silent. you mainly processed the series of events that just happened. how could you be so stupid? once again, you fell into jake’s trap. when will you learn?
you didn’t even realize you made it to the front of your aunt’s house, too lost in your own thoughts to notice your feet moving on their own, until jay said, “are you going to be okay?” you looked over to him in slight shock, thinking about his question for a moment.
shrugging, you responded, “i’m not sure yet. for now i will be, i guess. thanks for walking me home, jay. i really appreciate it.” jay gave you a nod, not entirely convinced. “anytime,” he spoke and watched as you walked up to the front door and entered the house.
you ran to the bathroom, wanting to rub your skin clean until it was raw. you stayed under the water for a while until it started to run cold and stayed for a little more after that, tears being washed away from the stream. when you did finally get out, you laid in your bed unable to sleep.
you phone was being blown up by jake and you just didn’t have the energy for him right now, so you turned your phone off. you didn’t want to hear anymore of his excuses—or truths, you still couldn’t decipher which was which. you just hoped that sleep would come to you soon and you wouldn’t dream of him.
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when you woke up in the morning from a dreamless sleep, the first text your eyes saw as you checked the time on your phone was from jake. you sighed softly, telling yourself you’ll check the rest of his messages later. the message your eyes scanned was:
jake: meet me at our spot? i didn’t mean what i said. it wasn’t my intention for it to come off that way. please answer, y/n. i know you wake up around this time, so please meet me there when you see this.
you weighed his message in your head, deciding to ignore it entirely or to meet with him. after pacing around your room, you decided to meet with him. this was it—you were putting an end to everything. no more games. you were only going to meet with jake for closure, to finally see if his words have been truths or lies.
you got ready for the day, thankful that you didn’t have to work at the juice bar, and mentally hyped yourself up. you couldn’t let yourself be lured in by jake’s trap again; acting like a pushover for him. you wanted answers, not to lose yourself in his warm and inviting brown eyes. not to think about how good he made you feel last night—despite the memories clouding around your racing mind making your heart do flips.
leaving the house, you made your way down to the beach with newfound confidence.
when you reached the open cave-like entrance, you saw jake sitting in the sand lost in thought waiting for you. his eyes immediately snapped to your figure when he saw you approach. jake looked like he hadn’t slept, eyes rimmed red and dark circles sinking in his eyes. his blonde hair was in every direction as if he’d been running his fingers through it constantly and his plain shirt was wrinkled.
jake slid his phone that he was clutching into his pants pocket as he stood to his feet. hesitantly, you walked up to him, stopping a few feet short of him. you left your expression purposefully blank as you quirked a brow at him.
“i didn’t mean it like that,” jake started, taking a few steps towards you. he furrowed his brows and tilted his head to the side slightly.
“so how else did you mean it, jake? i’m tired of playing this game with you.”
jake sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “i mean—i did mean it like that,” he closed the distance between the two of you and grabbed your hands, effectively removing them from where they were sitting across your chest. jake slid his thumbs across them as he spoke.
“but not with you. i won’t lie and say that i don’t have a reputation—“
you cut him off, tone harsh as you pushed away from him. “a reputation of being a player? of stringing girls along; using their feelings for you against them to get in their pants? your reputation precedes you, jake, and i’m not going to be your next victim.”
“and you won’t be—that life, me being a player, it’s over. it’s in the past—canceled, i promise you. i meant what i said to you yesterday, baby. i want to be with you and i’m sorry for making you think that i didn’t.” jake stepped forward and cupped your face, tilting your head so you looked in his eyes and saw the sincerity in them. you exhaled softly and your eyes fluttered shut.
jake continued, “as soon as i got into that water, i immediately sobered up and knew i fucked up. i shouldn’t have spoken to you like that—shouldn’t have let my friends speak to you like that. that was really shitty. i’m so sorry.” you opened your eyes and they grazed across the cut on his lip from his fight with jay.
your arms hung limply at your sides as your mind struggled to come up with any thought whatsoever. it was silent for a moment. “you ignored me for a whole week straight. pretended that i didn’t even exist to you,” was all you managed to say.
jake sighed again and shut his eyes briefly like he was having an inner battle with himself. “my head has been everywhere this week, baby. i’m sorry. lifeguarding has been more taxing than usual and i’m really not in my right mind. the alcohol last night really didn’t help either, like i said.”
your eyes softened. it was just as you expected. “so why didn’t you tell me all of this? i could’ve helped you—been there for you!” your words were light, but your insistence made jake look up.
jake just shrugged, not knowing what to say. he settled on, “i didn’t know how to explain it all. i’m not that good at telling people how i feel—clearly.”
you rested a hand on his cheek, a small smile coming to your lips. “it’s something we can work on… why don’t we do something from our bucket list today? help get your mind off lifeguarding?” you suggested. jake’s face lit up and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him.
a cheeky smile played on jake’s mouth as he nodded and you rolled your eyes, pushing at his chest lightly. you pointed to the shallow water coming in from the ocean, “if you say skinny dipping i’m drowning you in the water over there!”
jake’s smile widened, a pretty laugh leaving his lips. it was a sound you could hear forever. “i wasn’t! i was gonna suggest we go stargazing.”
he pulled you closer to him and bent down towards you, breath fanning across your neck and his nose sending a shiver down your spine from the way it trailed along the skin near your ear. “but if you wanted to skinny dip i wouldn’t be opposed,” he whispered, voice dripping like honey.
you inhaled sharply at the way jake brushed his lips against your jaw ever so slightly. you didn’t even notice the way your grip tightened around his shirt at his chest. all you could think about was his lips at your core making you feel so good. better than you could ever do for yourself. the way his fingers reached deep inside you and pressed against spots that you couldn’t reach yourself no matter how hard you tried.
breath hitching, you tried to control your breathing as you let out a chuckle that you hoped sounded playfully annoyed, but instead came out as nervous as you felt. with all the strength you could muster, which was barely any at all, you pushed at his chest again and jake took a couple small steps back. that same wicked smirk from last night curled his lips upwards.
god, that smirk. if given the chance, you knew that jake sim would absolutely ruin you. you knew that he would worship every inch of your skin while completely defiling your innocence.
you subtly pressed your legs together at the thought of his hands wandering over your naked body and bit your lip at how it would feel when he finally slid into you. no, you couldn’t think such dirty things with him looking at you like he knew every thought running through your head right now.
you kept your eyes firmly on the grains of sand beneath the two of you until you were sure your thoughts were clear.
once the dignity started to come back to you, you slowly looked up at him. you plastered a playful smile on and raised your brows while crossing your arms across your chest. “you’re on timeout. so going skinny dipping—and whatever dirty little thoughts are running though your head with the idea—not happening. got it?”
you were definitely projecting with your statement, even if you both were most likely thinking the same things. jake’s wicked smirk remained on his lips, this time more playful than wicked. he raised a singular brow at you, head tilting subtly. he didn’t even need to speak for you to get the connotation.
we’ll see about that, won’t we?
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you and jake spent the rest of the morning together, hanging around the beach taking various photos with your disposable camera, until you got called in to work to cover a shift. you had just finished cleaning the blenders at the juice stand when jake scared you, suddenly announcing his arrival while leaning across the counter with a shit-eating grin.
gasping loudly with a hand pressed to your heart, you took the hand towel you were holding and smacked him with it, making him laugh. you couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face at jake being here. your shift so far was boring, your friend hana wasn’t working today and nobody was really buying anything either. you desperately needed the distraction.
“what are you doing here?” you smiled, leaning across the counter in front of jake. your faces were mere inches away and jake closed the gap by pressing a kiss to your lips.
“i wanted to see you,” he replied, smile never leaving his face. that was, until jay showed up to order a drink.
“how are you, jay?” you asked as you started the process of his drink, turning slightly to look at him. he was soaking wet, no doubt just getting off one of his shifts. running a hand through his damp hair he breathed out harshly, smile not reaching his eyes as he shook his head a little.
“you know how lifeguarding is…” he trailed off. you gave him a sympathetic smile, definitely not knowing how lifeguarding is, but from your talk with jake earlier, you could only imagine.
jake shifted in his seat, turning to face jay. “yeah… i do,” he spoke. you glanced over to him as you poured jay’s drink in one of the to-go cups. jake’s mouth was pressed into a thin line and his eyes sharp. they were both deadly silent and you had the feeling they weren’t talking about lifeguarding.
slowly, you slid the drink you just made towards jay as your eyes flicked between the two of them. their staring contest was cut short by one of jake’s friend’s calling his name. reluctantly, he got up to meet them, eyes flicking to you before turning around. what was that all about?
jay’s eyes slid to you, a sigh escaping his lips. “i hope you know what you’re doing, y/n,” he said before handing you the money for his drink and standing from his seat. your brows furrowed in question but before you could ask what he meant, jay spoke again.
“there’s no winner in the player’s game. it’s best to know that before it’s too late.”
jay then left, leaving you with your mouth hanging open. your mind was surprisingly blank despite his words that you were desperately trying to process. to distract yourself, you began tidying up.
jake came back up to the stand just as you finished, his friend—sunghoon, if you remember correctly from his hurtful words at the beach party—following suit. your eyebrows were raised in slight shock as you tried to keep the scowl from off your face. jake said nothing, just waved his hand towards you while looking at sunghoon in a “well…” kind of way.
sunghoon sighed while leaning on the stand towards you. “uh… listen, y/n…” he looked towards jake in question and jake gave him a small nod without taking his eyes off you. sunghoon continued, “i was a real asshole for what i said at the beach party—real shitty. i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have spoken to you that way.”
he scratched the back of his neck and his apology hung in the air for a moment. you smiled awkwardly, eyes flicking between him and jake. clearing your throat slightly, you responded, “t-thank you? i appreciate the apology.”
it was awkward for another few moments before jake finally broke the silence. “so…” he started, dragging out the vowel as he leaned more over the counter towards you. “will you be my date to the summer splash event?”
sunghoon scoffed while turning towards jake, hitting him on the shoulder. “dude, you haven’t even asked her yet? the event is next month!” he exclaimed. a sheepish smile took over jake’s face as he leaned back into his chair. you raised your brows at him.
“yeah, jake, why haven’t you asked me yet?” you teased. sunghoon mirrored your expression and the two of you stared a hole into jake. he sunk into his seat.
“i may… have forgotten about the whole thing…” jake murmured. you and sunghoon laughed at him, sunghoon shaking his head as he turned back to you.
“yes, i’ll be your date to summer splash,” you laughed, causing jake’s smile to brighten.
the three of you talked more before they left for sunghoon’s house. before they did, jake leaned across the counter to meet where you already sat halfway. “are we okay?” he asked near your ear in a hushed tone. you nodded, a genuine smile on your face which caused one to appear on his. jake then brought you in for a kiss, which was quickly cut short by sunghoon going, “ugh, get a room!”
heat spread throughout your face and chuckles escaped jake’s mouth as he pressed another kiss to your warm cheeks. he was then pulling out his disposable camera, turning his back to you and holding it up in the air.
“group picture!” jake shouted as he pulled sunghoon towards him. sunghoon rolled his eyes, but smiled for the picture nonetheless. you gave the camera an embarrassed smile as the flash went off. jake chuckled again, bringing your lips together briefly before running off with a disgusted sunghoon.
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you: meet me at our spot? jake: already here, baby. you don’t even have to ask! you: rolling my eyes right now… bring the blankets!
a couple days later, you and jake had planned to watch the stars at your shared spot since you were both too busy the day you originally planned. according to jake, it was the best spot to see as many stars as possible in the small town. jake had beaten to you the spot, already having the blankets and even pillows set up right under the opening in the ceiling.
the moon shown perfectly from the opening, illuminating jake and the area he had set up. “hi,” you smiled, setting the basket of wrapped sandwiches onto the blanket and plopping down next to jake. you looked up towards the ceiling at the stars, a soft smile taking over your features.
“hi,” jake replied. he moved closer to you until you were almost cheek and cheek to look up at the stars as well. “i told you it’s the best place to see them,” he added quietly. you looked over to him, smile still on your face, and giggled. jake’s smile widened and he brought you in for a kiss.
the two of you watched the stars for a while in silence, apart from the rustling of one of you unwrapping a sandwich. at some point, the two of you had laid down onto the blankets and pillows, you tucked into jake’s side, head resting on his chest as his fingers lazily traced patterns onto your arm and hip.
“the whole world outside disappears when it’s just the two of us in here,” jake softly said, causing you to look up at him. his eyes were focused on the stars until he felt the weight of your stare. he looked down, a shy smile playing on his lips.
“you’re right,” you smiled at him, continuing your watch of the stars. “we’re the only people in the world in here.” jake’s fingertips were suddenly lifting your chin to look up at him. once you did, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.
smiling against his lips, you kissed him again, sitting up on your elbow to kiss him better. the kiss deepened, so much so that you got the urge to swing your leg across his to straddle him. but before it could go any farther than a kiss, jake pulled away. you both were breathing heavily as you stared into each other’s eyes, lips barely brushing.
“will you be my girlfriend?” jake breathed, searching your eyes for your answer. you giggled a little. it was funny that he even had to ask you. the answer was always going to be yes.
you nodded, smiling widely, “i thought you’d never ask…” you lips connected with his again, this time more passionate than the first. jake sat up onto his elbows, eyes fluttering closed.
“i’m sorry i took so long,” he murmured against your lips.
this time you did give into your urge. throwing your leg over both of his, you wrapped your arms around his neck. jake’s arms immediately came to sit around your waist, pulling you closer to him until you were chest and chest. the kiss was feverish, desperate. it’s what you wanted to do ever since you had gotten to know each other.
fire burned in the pit of your belly and you were overwhelmed with the sudden need to have jake as close to your body as possible. you needed more than his lips on yours and his arms around your waist. you didn’t even realize you grinded down onto him until he broke away from your kiss to let out a small whimper, forehead pressed to yours.
he trailed hot kisses along your jaw and down your neck all while you grinded down against him again. you felt like you were on fire as his lips found yours again and it was the only thing you could do but pull away and take off your shirt.
jake’s eyes landed on your breasts and the lacy bra covering them, but you didn’t let them linger before you were pulling off his shirt as well, completely driven by desire. next you were shimmying off of him until the shorts you were wearing were off too, leaving you only in your bra and panties.
the rational part of your brain finally kicked in when you heard jake unbuckling his belt. you broke away from his kiss, suddenly aware of what the two of you were about to do. heat spread up your neck and across your cheeks and you whispered, “i told you, you’re on timeout.”
jake’s mouth fell open in a shocked smile, hands freezing in place. in order to cool yourself down, you pulled yourself away from him and stood to your feet. turning your back towards him, you made your way to the ocean, stripping off your bra and panties in the process until you were completely naked. you glanced back at him with a playful smile.
you stepped a foot into the water and immediately shuttered at how cold it was, but you made yourself walk the rest of the distance until you were submerged up to your shoulders. you turned towards the cove where jake still sat frozen. “are you coming?” you called, giggling to yourself at the bulge in his shorts.
“you’re such a tease,” jake called back playfully, standing to his feet. you laughed, more teeth chattering than actual laughter. when jake started pulling down his shorts, you averted your gaze, suddenly interested in the ocean horizon.
you heard the pitter-patter of jake’s footsteps and the slight splashing of water behind you as he came closer. “you put on such a show, but now you can’t even face me?” jake said in a husky voice against your ear, chest pressed against your back, causing a shiver to go directly down your spine and your heartbeat to pick up.
jake trailed a wet finger across your shoulder and you inhaled sharply, trying to gain your composure. turning to him, you replied, “if you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the game.” you threw his signature smirk back at him and he laughed, coming closer to you until your noses were brushing up against each other. you tried to ignore the brushing against your thigh, but it was growing harder the more seconds that passed. instead you cupped your hand in the water and lifted it to drip the water onto jake’s head, pulling another laugh out of him.
grabbing your chin, jake lifted your head to kiss you deeply, his tongue dancing in your mouth with yours. pulling away, jake smirked. “you’re going to eat your words once i’m finished,” he said lowly, pressing kisses to the skin beneath your ear.
jake pressed you closer to him, his body heat helping to warm you from the cold water. his lips trailed back up to your ear and he added, “get use to the feeling of your body shaking.”
if your body wasn’t on fire before, it definitely was now. jake’s lips were back on yours, this time rougher. you were sure he could feel your heartbeat racing from how close you were to him, feel the heat creep up your neck with how your bare bodies were against each other. when you pulled away to satiate your burning lungs, jake caught hold of your bottom lip between his teeth. he bit down softly, the corners of his mouth raising at your reaction before letting go.
you hid your face in his chest as he trailed open-mouthed kisses up your shoulder. you resisted the urge to shiver. “jake, i—“ you cut yourself off, too embarrassed to bring the topic up.
“has anyone ever touched you like this?”
jake’s fingers trailed down your sides, stopping just at your hips and you took a sharp inhale. you shook your head as jake continued his kisses, going from up your shoulder to the side of your mouth. “don’t worry, pretty,” he whispered huskily, lips lingering over yours before giving you a feather light kiss. “i’ll be gentle… i promise.”
he intertwined his hand with yours and guided you back to the rock structure where your abandoned late night picnic resided. you laid down onto the blanket, looking up at him with big doe eyes from where your head laid on a pillow. his eyes took in your body finally, eyes widening more at every exposed inch he could see. when they landed on your soaked pussy he smirked subtly.
jake climbed over you, pressing a deep kiss to your lips. “are you sure you want this?” he asked you breathlessly. his eyes were squeezed shut and his brows were furrowed, like he was fighting the urge to not ravage you right then and there.
“yes… please. i’m ready,” you whispered.
eyes fluttering open, jake brought his lips to yours again. he then started to kiss down your body, making sure he kept eye contact with you. when you looked away, his gaze too intense, he would immediately stop and grab your chin to look back at him. “you don’t have to be nervous, baby. it’s just me.”
how could you not be nervous? the last time he was this close to your body was when he was eating you out at that beach party. and you were nervous then, too; never having someone attached to your core before. even then, you only remembered bits and pieces from the encounter—jake’s pretty mouth on your clit and the hazy sensation of his fingers inside you, stretching you out—you being too drunk to remember the full thing. this time you were completely, absolutely, sober with none of the confidence the alcohol gave you.
jake kissed right above your core, stopping with a smile against your skin. you thought he was going to speak, but he instead dove straight in, tongue flicking against your clit as his lips sucked.
you immediately moaned out, back arching off the soft fabric beneath you and head throwing back. you gripped the blanket tightly in your hands as jake wrapped his arms around your thighs to keep you from moving. he continued his motions, eyes never leaving you. your hand found his wet blonde hair, fingers tangling in the strands as you pulled at them. “please, jake!”
he hummed and you swear you saw stars, moaning loudly and trying to squirm away from his strong grip. “does that feel good?” jake asked you, breath fanning over your throbbing clit. all you could do was nod. “yeah?” jake asked, removing one of his hands from around your thighs.
his other hand rubbed at your clit with the pad of his thumb, sending jolts up your body, as the hand he freed teased at your entrance. you were a spluttering mess, desperate pleas for him to do something other than rub at your clit breaking the silence and clouding your thoughts. you barely even heard the chuckles that escaped jake’s lips as he kept teasing. he waited until you were practically writhing underneath his touch and begging him for more before he finally slid his fingers inside you achingly slow. you barely registered the slight pain, only the pleasure.
“you’re so pretty like this,” jake cooed.
you gasped as his fingers started to move, dragging against your gummy walls. the wetness making you dizzy and bringing tears to your eyes. jake’s pace only grew the more his fingers fucked into you, fingers curling and making your thighs tremble.
just as you moaned out a broken “g-gonna cum!” jake replaced his thumb running circles into your clit with his mouth, his tongue swirling around your poor clit. his hand went to hold your legs open when you tried to squeeze them together, the rope in your stomach about to snap.
when it did finally snap, you were gripping the blankets so hard that the clenching of your fingers started to hurt. you cried out, weakly trying to push jake’s head away with your other hand but getting nowhere. he didn’t stop, lips sucking your clit as squelching sounds emitting from your spent pussy with how your cum now dripped down his fingers still pushing in and out of your entrance.
the vibrations of jake’s laugh was like lighting throughout your body, shocking you to the core. you whimpered and jake finally pulled his lips away, satisfied with helping you ride out your high. he sat up on his knees and you looked up at him through half-closed eyes, brain foggy.
“you ready for more? baby?” jake asked before sticking his cum coated fingers in his mouth while staring down at you. he let out another hum, eyes fluttering closed briefly, “you taste so fucking good.”
you covered your face and sheepish smile with your hands and jake chuckled, leaning down to press a quick kiss on your lips once he was finished licking you up from his fingers. you could taste yourself on him. “are you ready?” jake asked and you nodded.
“words, pretty. i wanna hear you,” jake added, moving your hands away from your face. your body was on fire still, still reeling from your recent orgasm. jake pressed kisses to your cheeks.
“i’m ready,” you uttered meekly.
jake leaned back and now it was your turn for your eyes to trail along his body, not quite getting the chance when his head was between your thighs making you see other galaxies. his blonde hair fell in his eyes, which he dragged his fingers through to get out of his way. toned body still glistening from your dip naked in the ocean, making you want to run your fingers along the soft skin. and finally… his large hard cock hovering mere centimeters above your still throbbing pussy, precum leaking from his tip.
you didn’t know how you would fit all of him inside you, it barely looked like you could wrap your hand around him. but you were determined and you refused to back down. if you were going to have your first time with anybody, it would be jake sim.
“lift your hips for me, pretty.” your eyes snapped back to jake’s face to see he had dragged a pillow next to the both of you. you did as you were told, knees wobbling slightly, and jake slid the pillow under your hips. he pressed another kiss to your lower stomach.
jake held his leaking cock, looking up at you for confirmation one last time and you nodded. “this is gonna hurt for a second, okay? just take a deep breath.”
you inhaled deeply, waiting in anticipation and slight fear.
he lined the tip of his cock with your entrance, sliding it along your wet arousal and creamy white cum. slowly he began to push himself in and immediately you felt the stretch. you grimaced, resting your head back on the pillows. even with how wet you were with jake fingering you, and your previous release, jake was barely able to get his tip inside before you winced in pain.
“relax, baby, relax,” jake soothed as he kissed the inner part of your thigh. you tried to will your body to loosen up, taking deep breaths to calm yourself. jake rubbed his thumb slowly into your clit, glancing down at you with a look full of concern. you were no doubt squeezing the hell out of him, if it weren’t obvious from the small whimpers leaving his mouth as he slowly pushed in more.
after basically doing breathing exercises and jake giving you soothing kisses, he finally bottomed out, halting his movements so you can adjust to his length and thickness. you moved your arms from where they covered your tear-filled eyes and jake leaned down to kiss your cheek. “you’re doing so well for me, pretty. tell me when to move,” he said softly.
once you felt like you weren’t being split in half, you gave him the go-ahead. jake leaned back again. “do you feel it…” he started. his hand pressed down on your lower stomach and you gasped softly. “right here?” he continued.
you took your lip between your teeth and nodded, “yes… please start moving, jake.” you didn’t know how long you could stand the feel of him completely stretching you out and filling you up. it felt like you were going to burst any minute if he didn’t do something.
“you want it that bad? you’re not scared anymore?” jake grinned and you shook your head. “good, remember what i told you.” he slid his hands up your stomach to cup your breasts, thumbs rubbing over your hardened nipples before settling back down at your hips.
you struggled to remember what he was talking about, you mind going entirely blank. all you could think about was his cock inside you, his hands all over your body, and how you felt everything. was it “i’ll be gentle… i promise,” or “get use to the feeling of your body shaking”? your mind started to spin with how both sentences contradicted each other.
jake grunted as he slowly slid halfway out. “fuck…” he groaned, his grip tightening on your thighs. “you’re so fucking tight—squeezing the shit out of me, baby.” he pushed in a little too fast and you moaned out, half pleasure and half pain.
he continued his slow pace, making sure he didn’t go too fast so he wouldn’t hurt you. your body finally relaxed, eyes rolling back and sensitive walls fluttering around jake’s cock. “faster,” you breathed.
“faster?” jake repeated and you could just hear his smirk. “you want me to fuck you faster?” without a response, jake’s hips snapped to yours. he pulled his cock out until just his tip remained in you. jake hummed, waiting for your reply.
“yes!” you cried out, back arching from the way his cock rutted so deeply into you. your breathing was heavy and your tongue was heavy as you tried to form more words. “y-yes, please fuck me faster,” you whined, speech coming out slurred as your hands clawed at the messy blanket beneath you.
jake leaned down to bring his lips to yours just as he rutted into you once more. you moaned against his lips, the sound cutting off as he kissed you rougher. jake continued pounding into you, not hard enough to hurt you but enough to make sure you felt every inch of him inside you. he took your lip between his teeth as he pulled away slightly before letting go. “f-fuck you drive me crazy. do you know how long i’ve been waiting to do this to you? fuck your perfect pussy like this?”
you barely registered his words, your blown out pupils staring at him hazily as you moaned louder each time his hips connected with yours. jake continued, his words slurring, “and to think that asshole almost had you…” jake let out a wry laugh in between his heavy breaths, his hips moving faster on their own accord. “you’re mine. all mine. can that asshole fuck you senseless like this?”
you bucked your hips up, shaking your head rapidly. you really didn’t know who jake was talking about, but that didn’t matter to you. he was right, nobody can fuck you like he can.
jake kissed you sloppily through your moans, breath hot on your cheeks as he occasionally pulled back for air with the way his chest rose and fell heavily. “that’s it, baby... fucking take it,” he moaned when your back arched again and his cockhead hit deeper. “you’re taking my cock so well. do you like how i split you open like this? do you feel how deep i’m fucking into you, pretty?”
tears streamed down your faces as you moaned out incoherent words, too dumb on jake’s cock to think straight. all you could do was nod and tell him to move faster, clawing at his shoulders until your nails dragged red lines down his back. you never needed someone as much as you needed jake. it was like a fever, making you burn red-hot until every thought consisted of him
you whimpered loudly, trying to press your legs together and squirm away but jake held you in a death grip—making sure your legs stayed spread and your knees stayed pressed to your chest. your thighs shook in his grasp as you twisted from side to side, a squeal leaving your parted lips. “g-gonna cum!” you spoke shakily, whimpers falling from your mouth.
“good, baby. let go for me. cum all over my cock,” jake gritted out, accent heavy, before throwing his head back in a moan. he muttered out curses as his pace increased slightly and then kissed you roughly. he kissed along your jaw and now to your neck, right where you were the most sensitive and leaving goosebumps in his wake. jake sucked pretty markings onto your skin, claiming you further as his.
you wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, on the verge of hiccuping just as you felt the cord in your stomach begin to fray. with a particularly hard thrust, wet squelching sounds filling the nighttime air, the cord snapped and you were smearing warm cum all over jake’s cock.
the pillow beneath your hips prevented the cum from dripping out of you except when jake thrusted into you, dribbles of cum leaking out from around the base of his cock. jake leaned his forehead to yours, “f-fuck, baby. you’re taking my cock so well. you feel how well you’re pretty pussy is taking me? it’s l-like your pussy was made for my cock.”
you felt jake twitch inside you before he was filling you up with even more cum, the white liquid completely coating him as he fucked his cum back into you. your nails dug into his shoulders as you cried out from the overstimulation despite bucking your hips up to feel even more, unwrapping yourself from jake’s neck to grab a fistful of the blanket as you shook underneath him. “too m-much, jake! ah—“
jake kissed you hard, moaning softly against your lips. he pulled back and leaned back onto his knees, hand holding the base of his heavy cock that was still buried deep inside you. you managed to sit up on shaky elbows. your poor pussy was glistening with your arousal and painted white you and jake’s mixed cum.
you watched as jake slowly pulled out of you, creamy white liquid covering his softening cock, eyes fixed on how your pussy fluttered around the loss of him. the corners of his mouth pulled up into a wicked smile. you didn’t even notice how he had pulled out his disposable camera, nor the flashes of how fucked out your face looked and how completely ruined by him you were beneath the full moonlight. “good job, baby! i’m proud of how well you did,” jake leaned to kiss you, his cock sliding against your sensitive clit and making you jump. jake chuckled.
you beamed shyly, eyes avoiding his stare and instead focused on how his cum was still inside you. jake reached out his hands and you took them, slowly sitting up fully. his eyes focused on the way your mixed cum spilled down your thighs and dripped onto the blanket. “fuck,” jake murmured.
his eyes trailed up your body and to your swollen lips, his smile growing. you could see it in his eyes what he was thinking: you look the prettiest like this, defiled and my cum drilling out of you. jake kissed you again, softer than all of his previous kisses tonight.
“let’s get you cleaned up, pretty.”
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“why are you walking so weirdly?” you mother’s voice startled you. you fiddled with the shear scarf you’re wearing. jake left a lot of love bites on you—most that you were able to cover with makeup but some that shone straight through it no matter how many layers of concealer you put on it. you didn’t really want your mom seeing that and asking a bunch of questions. it was also the height of summer and you could practically see the heatwaves in the air, so you didn’t really want to be sporting a turtleneck right now.
your voice comes out slightly unsteady, “what do you mean?”
your mom comes to stand in front of you, eying you up and down. her gaze flicks back to yours with an analytical look. “you’re walking like a duck. what’s wrong with you?” she questions.
racking your brain for a suitable and believable lie, you rush out, “oh, i just hurt my ankle a little bit on the walk to work yesterday...” her gaze widens. “but don’t worry, mom! it’s nothing serious. i’ve just been trying to not put as much pressure on it is all!” you quickly add.
you definitely weren’t telling her that you lost your virginity last night to the renown player in this small town and you walking funny was the result. no, that would be much too embarrassing. you straightened your walk a little, trying to make it seem like you were okay. you were glad your back was turned to her so it hid your wince of pain. maybe you shouldn’t have told jake to go so fast on your first time…
“we’ll make sure you ice it or something, you don’t need it getting worse,” your mother said before leaving the kitchen, mug in hand. you sighed in relief to yourself as you finished getting ready for work.
jake met you halfway on your journey and you smacked his arm hard whenever he came up next to you. “ow!” he laughed, cradling his arm. “what was that for?”
“that was for making me walk funny and leaving all kinds of love bites all over my skin that i had to try and hide!” you exclaimed, pointing at your neck with a pout. jake laughed, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer.
you pouted again, “you said you’d be gentle!”
jake pulled down the scarf you were wearing with his free hand. he pressed kisses to your neck, right where the marks were, causing you to squirm away from him from the sensitivity. “i’m sorry, baby,” he murmured against your skin. “but you did tell me to go faster.”
you rolled your eyes at him and he laughed more. jake leaned down, his lips brushing up against the shell of your ear. “and i did say to get use to the feeling of your body shaking,” he added huskily, accent thick.
“besides, you should see the red lines and crescent marks you left all over my back. i’m a lifeguard, i can’t just put makeup and a scarf over it!” jake mumbled. you laughed at him.
the tank top he was wearing told you he clearly didn’t care if others saw the marks you left. it’s almost as if he wanted to show them off. the two of you continued your walk.
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[ YOU HAVE TO SAY “GOODBYE” — 3RD MONTH ] ✈︎ thirty-one days until you return home.
you sighed deeply as you stretched out your tired joints after a particularly long shift. the sun was blaring on your skin all day and despite the thin clothing of your work uniform, it did nothing to save you from the heat. you desperately just wanted to meet up with jake so the two of you could go swimming before the afternoon sun went down.
in the distance down the boardwalk you caught sight of jake. a smile spread it’s way across your face as you excitedly called out to him. jake didn’t seem to hear you, instead turning the corner to where the water fountains were located. you quickened your step as you tried to catch up with him.
you were just about to call his name again as you turned the corner before you froze in your spot. the smile completely dropped from your face and you tucked yourself against the corner of the wall as your eyes widened at the scene in front of you.
jake and hana stood just a few feet from you. hana was pressed against him, arms lifting to wrap around his neck while one of his lingered around her waist, just barely hovering over the bare skin of her torso.
“oh? but you kissed me, so you obviously still have feelings for me!” you heard hana exclaim.
you moved to lean against the wall away from them, pressing your back to the cool bricks. you felt like your world was coming down around you, once again. how stupid—how foolish of you to believe jake. your chest rose heavily as you tried to catch your breath. and what did hana mean by “still”? was she one of his exes this whole time?
suddenly everything started to fall in place. hana’s constant encouragement of you ending things with jake under the guise of being a “good friend”. jake never coming to see you at work when hana was working the same shift as you. your eyes widened as you finally understood why jake was acting weirdly towards you the week leading up to the beach party.
it was hana he saved from drowning. the very same hana you told him was your good friend. you felt so stupid. you tried hard to keep the tears from brimming in your eyes.
you took a deep breath as you pushed yourself off the wall and another as you steadied yourself to go up to them. “—to mouth, …psycho!” you heard jake say distantly, but the drumming in your ears overtook his words.
you stormed up to them and as soon as jake saw you he jumped five feet away from where he and hana were pressed up against each other. a nervous smile quickly appeared on his face and his mouth opened to speak before he got a good look at the state you were in. the smile fell from his face. “y/n, listen to me… it’s not—“
“you know what, i should’ve listened when people kept telling me you were a fucking player,” you swiftly cut him off, venom dripping from your voice with so much ferocity that it shocked even you. “you never cared about me, did you?”
jake opened his mouth again, eyebrows knitting together, but you didn’t let him speak. “is our spot even our spot, or is that where you take all the girls you want to sleep with? make them feel special and like they’re the only girl in the world for a night before tossing them to the side?”
“nobody knows about that place but you. you’re the only one who knows about it, i swear, y/n. and i’m not playing you or tossing you aside. please, let me expl—“ jake started.
“some people are just made for each other and some people aren’t! and clearly… you and jake aren’t meant for each other,” hana butted in, swinging her attention towards you with a smug smirk. it was like she was a completely different person now that the mask was taken off. she put a hand on your shoulder, “i’m your friend, take it from me!”
you harshly shrugged her off, causing her to scoff loudly. you glared at her fiercely. “shut the fuck up, hana!” you and jake spit out at the same time.
you refused to let the hurt creep into your voice, refused to let the two of them win against you. “i thought you were my friend, hana? how could you? the whole time you were only in my ear to try and give yourself the advantage. you’re both pieces of shit,” you said while staring daggers at her. you attention turned to jake.
it was almost impossible to not let the hurt show through. you had really tried, but looking into jake’s eyes was the last nail in the coffin. his eyes were glossed over and he went to reach for you but you backed away. “all you wanted from me was to get your dick wet. you’re such a fucking asshole, i never should’ve let myself get close to you. never should’ve found that stupid spot and never should’ve met you. all it caused was trouble,” you finally spoke, voice quiet as the tears slipped from your eyes.
you turned to leave but jake grabbed your wrist, you refused to turn and back and look at him. if you did, you knew you wouldn’t be able to stand your ground because despite everything, you still wanted to be with him.
“y/n… please,” jake breathed, his voice breaking.
you roughly yanked your wrist from his grasp and more tears fell from your eyes. “you don’t have to worry about me getting in the way of your game anymore. i’ll be gone by the end of the month and we’ll never see each other again. we’re done, jake.”
you inhaled sharply, pushing down a sob as you quickly walked away from the two of them. behind you, jake kept calling your name, but it only pushed you to go faster until you were running. tears blocked your eyes as you let your feet guide you home.
your body collided with a hard chest and you looked up, sniffling and wiping your tears. “what happened?” jay asked as he steadied you.
all you wanted was to be in the comfort of your bed right now. you couldn’t help the broken sob that left your mouth. “you were right… there aren't any winners in the player’s game. i get that now. thanks for telling me, jay,” you pushed out quickly before hurriedly making your way home.
you pushed through the front door and immediately ran over to where your mother stood half in shock. she wrapped her arms around you, her hand rubbing comforting circles in your back. “oh honey, what is it?” she asked softly between your wracked cries.
you just wished this day never happened.
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two weeks have passed since you’ve last seen jake. two weeks have passed since you last saw anybody, really. you’ve mainly stuck to the confines of your mother’s childhood bedroom crying until you no longer had any tears to cry. you laid curled up in your bed, completely numb.
your family, especially your worried mother, tried checking up on you to see what happened but you just kept saying the same thing over and over again, “i’m fine.” or at the very least, you will be once you’re back in your hometown and far away from this one. there was only a little over two more weeks left and then you’ll be rid of all this drama for good.
a little over two more weeks and you’ll never have to see or even think about jake sim ever again.
half of you is finally ready to go home. it was funny how you thought this place would give you a pseudo fresh start. the other half of you… it wants some type of closure.
for the two weeks you’ve been tied to this bed you’ve debated on if you wanted to give jake one last and final goodbye. not for him, but for you. to close this chapter of your life once and for all. you sighed as you heard your phone buzz again.
jake: i know you said you needed space, but please let me explain everything. jake: i promise you nothing happened between me and hana. jake: or any other girl besides you for that matter. jake: please talk to me, y/n.
he’s been texting and occasionally calling you since you left him and hana to their own devices two weeks ago. you haven’t answered a single call or message from him. at first, you read every message that came through and listened to every voicemail, but listening to his voice, accent filled with sadness and guilt, made you feel worse.
you ignored the buzzing as a knock sounded on your door. you didn’t have the energy to move from the blank, white wall you were staring at, nevermind talk, so the knocker entered without a word. the bed dipped beside you and a hand was placed on your shoulder.
“honey, there’s lunch downstairs if you’re hungry,” you mother spoke, softly. you said nothing. you heard her defeated sigh as she stood to her feet.
“mom?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper, as you turned to her. you caught a glimpse in the mirror of your red-rimmed puffy eyes. you looked like you went through the ringer. your mom froze briefly before turning back to you with a hopeful smile. “can we catch an early flight back home?” you continued.
your mother’s smile faltered slightly, but she nodded sadly. just then, another knock was heard. this time you recognized it as the front door. your mom gave you one last sad smile before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. you went back to staring at the same blank, white wall. a moment later your mother came back.
“it’s for you.”
you sighed softly and pulled yourself up from the bed. you felt like a zombie with your red eyes and dark circles and pajamas that hung limply off your body as you made the trek to the front door. with another sigh, you opened it, breath catching in your throat.
jake stood on the other side, blonde hair looking like he hasn’t brushed it a day in his life and the same red eyes and dark circles as you. he had dark brown roots sprouting from his scalp, despite him always making sure to keep them touched up. he looked rough, but you suppose you didn’t look any better.
“y/n…” jake breathed, like he couldn’t actually believe he’d ever see you standing in front of him again.
in the corner of your vision you saw your mom exit down the hallway to her room, giving the two of you some privacy. you didn’t hear anyone else in the house, so your aunt and cousin must’ve been out. you resisted the urge to slam the door shut in jake’s face. “i don’t want to see you,” you spoke sternly, a bite in your tone.
“i won’t be able to live with myself if you leave believing in a lie. please hear what i have to say,” jake pleaded.
you squeezed your eyes shut as you fought back tears. seeing him was too much. everything, every emotion came slamming against you like a tsunami and you wobbled on your feet. you inhaled a shaky breath and opened your eyes as tears fell from them. “i. don’t. care. i don’t care what you have to say, i don’t want to hear it!” you shuddered, voice progressively getting louder as more and more tears fell from your eyes and his.
you shut your eyes again and focused on steadying your breathing. a hand came to rest on your upper-back. “i think you should go,” you heard your mother’s voice say protectively. you didn’t open your eyes again until you heard jake’s retreating footsteps. only then did you see his defeated retreating figure.
your mom pulled you into a hug and shut the door, effectively blocking your view of jake. you buried your face in her chest as a sob overtook your whole body. your mother held you close, rubbing comforting circles in your back.
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the next day you couldn’t get the vision of jake at your doorstep out of your mind. it’s all you thought about all night. the tears that fell from his eyes and his defeated stance as he ushered away. you decided on the half of you that wanted closure.
you: meet me at your spot.
despite you sending that message as you were already halfway there, jake was still there before you like he always was. he was pacing around when you entered, looking even worse than he did yesterday. when he turned and saw you, he immediately started, “y/n, i—“
you held up a hand to stop him. you didn’t come here to hear his excuses. “don’t speak,” you said, and you sounded so done with the world. like nothing even mattered anymore. “i’m not here to hear whatever excuses you’ve come up with, i’m here merely for closure.”
jake’s brows furrowed as you talked and his shoulders slumped. a look of confusion rang loudly on his face as he tried to piece together what you were saying. “i’m going back home early—a couple days from now, actually. so this is goodbye, jake.” you turned to leave but he grabbed your wrist to stop you.
“wait…” jake murmured with a pleading gaze. he pulled a folded up piece of paper from his pocket and pressed it into the hand that held your wrist until your grip tightened around it. you looked down briefly and looked back up at jake with a melancholic look.
“please,” jake begged, voice a whisper. “please don’t go.”
you shook your head at him and went to pull your wrist from his grasp but he held on tighter, refusing to let you slip through his fingers again. “what about the rest of our bucket list—summer splash? we were supposed to go together… and i was supposed to show you more of the hidden spots around town—you can’t leave yet, y/n. you can’t.”
you looked away from him and the way his voice broke as he spoke to you. you pulled your wrist again to escape the shaking from his hands. this time you were able to break free. you shook your head again, “goodbye, jake.”
you didn’t look back at him as you sped away, over the rocks and through the warm sand as tears fell once again from your eyes. you knew if you did you’d stay, and you just didn’t know how much more heartbreak your heart could take. you had to leave, there was no other option. if you looked back at him, you would’ve stayed forever.
as you and your mother packed your things for your upcoming flight, the letter jake gave you burned a hole through your brain from how much you were thinking about it. the feather-light paper weighed a ton of bricks everytime you picked it up that you stuck it in the pocket of your suitcase to hopefully forget about it. you didn’t.
it was all you could think about as you said your goodbyes to your family and as you entered the airport to wait for your flight. you didn’t want to read it, but a part of you had to know what the contents of the letter were.
you slipped the letter out of the pocket it was in as you were boarding your flight, making sure to keep a tight hold of it so you wouldn’t lose it anywhere. only when your mother had fallen asleep did you unfold it and read jake’s words, inhaling sharply as your eyes scanned the first line.
to my love, my one and only,
i’ve never really written a letter to someone before. as i told you, i’m not really the best at expressing my emotions, but i’ve run out of options to get my feelings across to you. i really do hope you read this.
where do i start? from the beginning, i guess… when i pulled you out from the water, you were the prettiest girl i had ever seen. i’ll admit that then, i only saw you at face value. i only saw what you could do for me, and not you as a person. but then i thought that it was fine because it was likely that i’d never see you again, until i saw you at our spot.
something in my brain just automatically clicked and i had to get to know you; know your name and all of your interests and hobbies and every single little mundane thing about you. i just knew i had to know you. put aside my ways and be someone worthy of even being your friend. so that’s what i did, or at least, that’s what i tried really hard to do. it turns out when you’ve screwed over as many people as i did, karma comes to bite you in the ass quick.
but even then, i couldn’t help falling in love with you. i wanted to spend every waking moment with you, just breathing the same air. unfortunately, that didn’t stop me from fucking up repeatedly. i got jealous, and albeit—even a little possessive, and got out of line. i really hurt you and words can’t describe how sorry i am.
i’ll say it once, and i’ll say it a million more times if i have to. i meant what i said when i told you that you’re the only want i wanted. not hana, not some random other girl, you. you’re the one i want, the one that i desperately need, and now you’re slipping through my fingers because of my own dumb actions.
i should’ve been honest with you and maybe things wouldn’t have ended like this. i’m sorry that hana and i’s past ruined our relationship, and i’m sorry that i let so many things come between us to ruin it as well.
about two years ago, hana and i dated. it didn’t last very long, only four months, but she’s made my life hell ever since trying to get back with me. no, i didn’t cheat on her or anything of that sort, we just didn’t click. and i don’t know if it was my reputation or what, but she’s been trying to tell me in any way she could that that was a mistake.
i don’t know how much you overheard, but none of it was true. she cornered me and wrapped herself around me, saying how i must’ve still had feelings for her since we “kissed.” the kiss in question being me giving her mouth to mouth and saving her life. i told her that she was a psycho to think that mouth to mouth—saving a person’s life—was kissing. that’s when you found us.
i would do anything to fix this, anything for another chance with you. prove to you that i’m someone you can be with and not have to worry about what my next move will be. if i’m being completely honest—and i’m not saying this to try and manipulate you or anything, so please don’t take it that way—but over the course of the summer i really have fallen for you, y/n. with these unfortunate circumstances, it made me realize that i love you, i really do. and i’ll fight for you, because our relationship can’t end on this note. i refuse.
i’m so sorry for everything i’ve done and everything that has happened because of me. and the worst part is, i’m not sure if i’ll ever even be able to tell you any of this in person. i’m not even sure if i’ll ever even see you again, but i have have hope that i will. like the poets say, or whatever, two people who are meant to be will always find a way back to each other. and we are meant to be.
no matter how long it take, i’ll wait for you.
i’m also sorry for this shitty fucking letter, i tried to be all poetic and in tune with my emotions, but i got do clue how to do any of that shit. i hope my emotions still shine through, though. i love you.
always yours, jake
you clamped a hand over your mouth as you suppressed your sobs, looking at the letter through your now blurry vision. you didn’t know how to feel, if you were being honest with yourself. it took your mind a while just to process everything he was saying. the one thing that stuck with you at the moment was the fact that he loved you. jake loved you, and you were coming to the startling realization that you loved him too.
you’ve never loved anyone romantically, but the feeling was undeniable as anything but. you loved him and he loved you.
tucking the letter neatly and safely into the pocket of your carry-on bag, you tried to focus on everything that has happened this summer. tried to name every emotion that came up and categorize every thought. you still didn’t come up with an inkling on how to feel. even if jake’s words were true, which you suspect they were, that doesn’t change all the hurt he put you through because of his selfishness.
but still, you regretted ending everything how you did. now you were millions of miles in the air far away from where jake was and the only thought in your head was how you missed him already. how you wished you kissed him one last time.
how you wished you were next to him laying under the stars where the rest of the world melted away.
but it was too late. you had already made your decision, and you had no choice but to stick with it.
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transmascsteveharrington · 1 year ago
Text
Steve grows up thinking that love can be earned. That it has to be earned. That if he is quiet and polite, invisible most of the time and puts on his too-tight white button-downs without making a fuss, his mother will call him good and while she won't say it directly, Steve takes her approval for love.
His father is harder to please, for a while it's winning sport trophies and talking about taking out pretty girls. But as time goes on, Steve learns that disappointment is far quicker and far more willing given than love. Love can also be taken away like a toy from a naughty child.
Despite trying his best to keep earning his parents' love it keeps slipping away from him more and more often, like smoke through delicate fingers. Steve doesn't know what he is doing wrong, just assumes that he isn't good, that he doesn't deserve their love. It never occurs to him that they simply might be incapable of it, hollow, cold, harsh caves that echo where their hearts should beat.
So Steve tries to get it elsewhere. Tommy and Carol's love is easier to earn. Drive them places, pay for their food, get them booze and let them throw parties at his pool. Be mean and arrogant, laugh at jokes that make him feel sick to his stomach and do it all with a smile. Keep them happy and they'll keep loving him. He never quite figures out how he earned Nancy's love and it makes him antsy. Not knowing how to ensure that she'll keep loving him. He only realizes once they break up that the reason he never knew how to make her keep loving him was that she never loved him in the first place.
The kids are easy: be a human shield for them, beat monsters with a baseball bat, get tortured by Russians for them. If danger isn't around the corner it's driving them to the arcade, paying for their food, letting them hang out in the cold, desolate house that once they are gone echos just as much as the caves in his parents' chests. It's not that different from how he kept Tommy and Carol loving him. Only that it feels different, better. Steve doesn't have to force smiles, still recognizes the person in the mirror when he hangs out with the kids. He has fun too, would still do all these things if it didn't earn him the kids' love.
It's nice. Almost. If it wasn't for the constant fear that one day he'll say the wrong thing, bring them the wrong snack and all of that love will go poof.
Robin just like Nancy, Steve can't figure out. And it's fucking terrifying because he doesn't think he's ever loved a friend hell not just a friend, anyone, the way he has loved her. There are days he wants to crawl into her skin and make a home hoping it'll be enough to make her stay. Though a home never made his parents stay either. He knows the day he is going to lose her love, he will completely fall apart.
Eddie, Steve is slowly figuring out. Or at least he thinks he is. It's hard to tell with Eddie sometimes. On one hand, it's easy, Steve knows how to please partners in a relationship, knows how to be a good boyfriend. And Eddie clearly seems to enjoy the way Steve keeps trying to earn his love. On the other hand being a good boyfriend had already once not been enough.
It all comes down to it when Eddie and Steve end up in a stupid fight. Steve can't even remember what it started or who started it, all he knows that when Eddie says, "I need a smoke," and moves towards the door, panic closes around Steve's throat like a hand and squeezes tightly. If Eddie goes out of the door, if he leaves, he might not come back. It's been over six months since Steve last saw his parents.
"I'm sorry," he yells, tears already spilling over the corners of his eyes, running down his cheeks and pooling at his chin. He reaches for Eddie's wrist and Eddie instantly stops.
"I'm sorry, don't leave please! I'll make up for it, I promise. I'll be good. Perfect. Let me earn it again! Please!"
Eddie looks startled by Steve's outburst. He tucks his cigarette back into his pocket and pulls Steve into his arms.
"What? I'm not leaving! Steve," he says and cups Steve's wet face. Steve can't stop trembling. "What do you mean 'earn it again'?"
"Your love," Steve sniffs and buries his face in the crook of Eddie's neck, hoping, praying that it wasn't the wrong move. He knows he can be too clingy and he knows he can't afford to lose more of Eddie's love.
"My love? Baby," Eddie tightens his arms around Steve, "I'm not gonna stop loving you just because we're fighting. I love you even when I'm mad at you."
It draws a whole new wave of tears out of Steve and he does feel a bit like drowning. "And you don't have to earn my love, it's not fucking conditional," Eddie continues and presses a couple of soft kisses to Steve's hair.
"All my love is freely given. Not because you cook me dinner or let me pick movies or offer to blow me all the time. But because I love you, just you Steve. You don't even have to do anything. Just be yourself."
Eddie is crying now too, horrified that Steve went through his life in constant fear of love being taken away from him. Having to constantly bend and twist himself until he was broken just to earn crumbs of affection. It's a first step, one I love you doesn't undo years of trauma and fixes everything in an instant.
But Eddie vows he'll do everything he can to convince Steve that he is loved, so, so, so loved without having to grovel and beg for it. Without having to always be good and perfect.
And Robin and the kids make the same vow, heartbroken when they find out how scared Steve has been of losing them, how he thought they only kept him around in case of danger and because he had money.
It takes a while, but eventually, Steve starts to believe them. And if he ever has doubts or forgets everyone in his life is quick to remind him just how loved he is. Free of charge and indefinitely.
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authorhjk1 · 8 months ago
Note
https://www.reddit.com/r/kpopfap/comments/1agagbq/iu/
IU being an expensive hooker
Expensive Night
(IU X Male Reader)
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"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
You shout as you walk through your living room. Your parent's living room to be exact.
It felt like an awesome idea half an hour ago. And it felt like a dream twenty minutes ago. But now it feels like you are committing a great sin.
Your parents are out for a dinner date. It's their anniversary today. The 25th. You helped your dad with the surprise for a week now. He wanted to take your mother out to the place they first met. Their school, which you are going to currently. He got the key for the roof from the janitor yesterday and will surprise your mom with a romantic picnic, overlooking almost half of the city.
Your father didn't tell you what he planned for afterwards, but he let you know that they are gonna stay out late.
Which now means that you are home alone at 9 pm on a Thursday night. Not necessarily unusual. You finished your homework, starting to prepare for your finals. School today was like any other day.
Except for one thing. One of the guys bragged about having sex with the hottest girl in school. You still highly doubt that he told the truth. But you can't help being envious. You never had sex before, despite being eighteen for a while now.
Your parents always told you, that it's not about the act itself, but about the person you are with. You always agreed to some degree, but you still feel like you are missing out. And there is no guarantee you are ever gonna find that woman. Right?
Which now leads us to your actions from thirty minutes ago. You never considered doing it. You were never really into porn and you definitely never even had the urge to pay to watch something like that. But for some reason, that spam mail you got, lured you in.
Because of the woman's picture. You usually delete these kind of mails as soon as you see them, not wanting to catch a virus. But when you saw her picture, you couldn't resist.
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Not only because she looks like a goddess. Like the most beautiful woman you've probably ever seen. But because she is Julie's mother.
Who's Julie? The hottest girl at school. The girl your classmate allegedly slept with.
You were surprised to see her in that email. You were even more surprised, when you found out that this wasn't a normal dating site. It was an ad for an app. An app where you can hire a prostitute. To pay a woman to have sex with you.
Never in your life did you think about doing this. It didn't even cross your mind once. But here you are. Thirty minutes later, staring at your phone.
"See you in forty minutes, baby 😘"
You check the time. She is gonna be here in like 8 minutes.
Suddenly, you become incredibly nervous. Since you asked her to come over, you were worried about your parents finding out. But now, you realize that this is actually happening. What are you supposed to do? You already took a shower. Maybe prepare flowers? But that's stupid, you aren't trying to date her.
You get back to your room, starting to clean it properly. She might already know who you are. The two of you didn't interact with each other for the last two years. You only caught a glimpse of her occasionally at events and stuff. But she is still Julie's mother. And older than you. You don't want her to think you are some inexperienced child.
When the doorbell rings, you feel the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. This is really gonna happen.
You slowly walk over to the front door. Taking a deep breath, you finally open it.
You are stunned by the older woman, who is standing in front of you. She might be your mom's age, but she looks better than any of the girls at school. Probably even better than her own daughter.
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"Hello, handsome."
Jieun gives you a heartwarming smile. Her white dress looks incredible on her. You can't help but glance at her shoulders and then her thighs shortly after. The excitement of feeling her skin on yours makes your body heat up. You can feel your erection starting to grow.
"Do you want me to come in? You can keep staring once I'm inside."
Her melodic laugh makes your cheeks flush. You wanted to look like you've done this before, damn it.
"S-Sure."
You close the door behind her, after she walked past you. The scent of lilac lingers in your nose.
"Have a seat please."
You are not really sure how to proceed. Do you offer her something to drink? Do you discuss her pay? You are still surprised she doesn't seem to recognize you. It's probably for the better anyway. You already feel bad for paying your classmate's mother for having sex with you.
You are slightly curious to why Ms. Lee is doing this, but your thoughts get distracted by her sitting down.
Her long, creamy legs almost make you reach out to touch her. The smile playing on her lips makes you want to kiss her.
"Do you want to discuss everything for a minute, before we start?"
Jieun shakes her head, a mischievous smile on her lips.
"Sure. Would you like something to drink?"
"I'm sure I'm going to drink something very delicious later."
Once you realize what she means, you have to sit down, not wanting to expose how hard she is making you.
"You are still pretty young though. Do you have enough money?"
You take the bundle of bills out of your pocket. It's everything you got for your last birthday, plus some of your earlier savings. A lot, but definitely worth it.
You feel a little awkward throughout this transaction, but Jieun seems to really be a professional.
Once you are done, Jieun takes your hand.
"I guess your bedroom is this way?"
She smiles at you, looking back over her shoulder. You nod, still mesmerized by her beauty.
Once you enter your room, Jieun makes you sit down on the edge of the bed. You hear your breath hitch, when she suddenly straddles your lap. Your hands instinctively move to her thighs, you feel her weight on your crotch.
Without another word, Jieun captures your lips with hers. You can't believe this is actually happening. The two of you share a hot kiss as you feel her slowly grinding against you. By the way she let's a moan escape into your mouth, you know that she can feel your hard cock.
"You're such a good kisser."
She only stops for a moment to tell you that, before she gets back to kissing you again.
You wonder if she is actually telling the truth or not. But you can't ask her as she starts to make the kiss more messy. Her fingers run through your hair, occasionally tugging at it lightly. Her tongue pushes past your lips, now dueling with your own for dominance.
You feel like the kiss lasts for hours. But eventually, the two of you need to break away for air.
"Do you want to watch me strip, or do you want to take the dress off yourself?"
"W-Watch."
You almost stumble over that one simple word.
With a grin, Jieun slowly gets off your lap. Instinctively, you cover your crotch with your hand, ashamed at how hard you are.
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You expect her to just take it off. Instead, Jieun turns around. She puts her hair over her right shoulder, exposing her neck.
You gulp as she sits back down on your lap.
"Would you mind?"
Your eyes linger on the zipper of her dress. This is really happening. Your fingers shake slightly as you start to open Jieun's dress from behind. Slowly, you reveal more and more of her flawless skin.
You now stare at her completely exposed back. Unable to hold yourself back, you want to have another taste of Jieun's body.
Your lips meet her skin as you kiss her shoulder. You slowly move towards her neck, peppering her with small kisses.
"Good boy."
A sigh escapes Jieun's mouth. You like how she said it. With love and appreciation. As if you are the man she loves.
It turns you on more and you slowly kiss down her back. You take the same path her spine tikes, enjoying the sight of Jieun getting goosebumps at your touch.
Once you are unable to bend down further, Jieun gets off your lap. You can't tear your eyes off her as she twirls around, before giving you a seductive look. Slowly, she starts to let her dress glide down her frame.
"What do you think, honey?"
Her chest is exposed first. Her mounds seem to probably fit perfectly into your hands. Her pink nipples taunt you, trying to make you jump into action. Jieun's toned midriff deserves just as much admiration. You unconsciously bite your lip, when her dress slips past her hips, exposing her white panties. The lace patterns are firmly wrapped around her thighs. You can only catch a glimpse of her lower lips.
With a smile, Jieun hooks a thumb underneath the waistband, slightly pulling it down. Before you can see more of her, she puts it back in place, visibly enjoying teasing you.
"Not so fast. You have to show me what you have first."
You watch as Jieun steps between your legs, before she kneels down. This still feels like a dream to you. But here you are, you classmate's mother unbuckling your belt.
"I like the sight of that."
Jieun grins up at you after pulling down your pants. You have to stop yourself from bucking your hips towards her as she gives your cock, which is still restrained by your underwear, a kiss.
Another one follows quickly after.
"Thank you for this big gift."
Jieun chuckles as she lifts her head to kiss your lips. You can't tell if she is genuine or not. But her fingertips dancing along your length, make you forget what she just said.
With an alluring sparkle in her eyes, Jieun looks up at you as she pulls down your underwear.
"Fuck. You are huge."
You watch her bite her lip as she stares at your now exposed member. Of course you measured it before. This time you know that she isn't exaggerating. At least not a lot.
"Let me have a taste."
Jieun leans down to kiss your cock. She licks her lips afterwards, before she runs her tongue along the length of your shaft.
"Relax, baby."
Jieun giggles, covering your right hand with her left. Only now do you realize that you've taken a hold of your sheets. Your knuckles starting to turn white.
"Is this your first time?"
You nod slowly, embarrassed that it's so obvious.
"Don't be shy. It's an honor, you know."
Jieun slowly strokes your cock up and down as she talks.
"Why don't you lie down and let me take care of you?"
"S-Sure."
You position yourself in the middle of your bed with your back slightly sinking into your mattress. Jieun is lying on her stomach, between your spread legs.
"I can't believe this is your first time. With a cock like this..."
She kisses your base and slowly starts to move towards your tip, peppering your cock with kisses. Once her lips wrap around your tip, she sinks her head down. You let out an embarrassed moan as Jieun uses her tongue to play with the head of your cock.
The older woman knows exactly what she is doing. You seem to sink further into the mattress as Jieun keeps worshipping your cock. Her lips glide along your shaft. Her tongue swirls around your tip, whenever she moves upwards.
"Such a nice cock."
She murmurs to herself occasionally between sucks and licks.
"It tastes so good."
Eventually, your cock is covered with her saliva.
"Do you want me to deep throat you? Check if it fits or not?"
You nod in excitement while Jieun is still talking.
"If it doesn't, I'm not sure if you would fit in my pussy. If you destroy me, you have to pay extra."
She gives you a wink, before she laughs.
You give Jieun an awkward smile, hoping that really is a joke.
When she starts to take you into her mouth again, you hold your breath. Her lips glide along your shaft. She goes further down than before. You feel Jieun starting to slow down a little. Eventually, you hit something inside of her.
It makes Jieun gag. She slowly backs up, until her mouth is empty again. She gives you another look, before she dives in once more. Soon, you have her choking again. This time, she went down even further. Instinctively you put a hand on her head, slightly bucking your hips upwards.
You can't believe how good this feels. Your cock feels warm and safe in Jieun's mouth. Your tip probably already down her throat as she tries to open her jaw even wider.
You catch yourself pressing Jieun's head into your crotch. Eventually, she taps on your thighs, struggling for air. Regretfully letting go of her, you watch your in spit covered cock fall out of her mouth.
"Wow. You are really something."
Before you can reply, Jieun is deepthroating you once more. Apart from the occasional choking, everything is quiet. You look down, watching how small rivers of her saliva run down to the base of your cock.
Your breathing becomes heavier as you try to calm yourself. This isn't the right time. You need to hold out longer. Your fingers bury themselves in your sheets once more.
"I-I want to fuck you now."
You are embarrassed, when these words spill out of your mouth. But you need a moment to calm down. You don't want this to end too soon.
A devilish smirk plays around Jieun's lips as she moves them along the length of your shaft. Until she finally releases your cock out of her mouth, you are afraid that you would cum too soon.
"I see you are getting more comfortable?"
"Well-"
Jieun's warm smile makes you stutter. You can't believe you are seeing the same smile with which she congratulated you on your 12th birthday. It just feels unreal.
"How would you like to take me?"
You haven't thought about that yet. Now that you got a much needed break, you try to come up with something.
Jieun must've seen you struggling to find something. She leans over your body to give you a deep kiss, before she moves her legs on both sides of your hips.
"Would you like me to ride you?"
You hesitantly nod. Now that you are about to lose your virginity, you don't care about how. You just want this to happen.
Your heart races when Jieun slowly pulls down her lace panties. This is the first time you actually see a woman naked in real life. Her shaven pussy greets you, once the white fabric reaches her knees. It looks too good to be true. You unconsciously lick your lips, imagining your head between her thighs. You bet she would taste delicious.
"What do you think?"
Jieun pulls back her folds a little, showing off more of her pink insides.
"I-It looks amazing."
"I hear that a lot."
Her laugh makes you smile.
Jieun puts her left hand on your chest, her smile suddenly turning into something different. She almost looks needy now.
"It's time to put your cock where it belongs."
Her right hand holds your cock once more, slowly stroking it a couple of times, before she guides it towards her warm core. This is it.
You watch with wide eyes. Your tip brushes her wet folds. Jieun moves it along her slit a couple of times, before she starts to part her lips with your cock.
Her wetness and warmth welcome you as your tip finally slips inside. Jieun slowly lowers herself onto you. Her pussy seems to swallow your cock, almost like her mouth did earlier. Its walls hug you, slightly squeezing your dick.
"Good boy."
Jieun mumbles, her eyes closed, as she sinks herself onto you.
You feel her pussy gliding along your shaft, until Jieun finally stops. You are almost fully inside of her by now. But you can see that she is struggling to take all of you inside.
Your hands automatically move to her waist, not sure what else to hold onto.
"You really are big."
Jieun sighs, before she starts to circle her hips. A moan almost escapes your mouth. This feels too good to be true. Why don't people have sex all the time? How are they able to do anything else?
You start to lose all train of thought, when Jieun stops the circling of her hips. She now lifts herself off you, both of her hands pressing against your chest. Her lips have a tight grip on you as they move along your length.
"Damn, you are making me so wet."
Jieun moans when she reaches your tip.
"I just want to impale myself on your cock until I cum."
Her confession makes you groan. You never thought you would hear someone say that to you. Ever.
Staying true to her words, Jieun suddenly slams herself down onto your lap. Bot of your eyes roll back at the pleasure. You feel your thighs slightly sticking together, due to Jieun's juices.
Before you can completely recover from this new feeling, Jieun has already moved upwards again and is now impaling herself onto your cock once more.
She hits you hard and deep everytime. The couple of seconds she needs to recover, whenever you bottom out inside of her, feel like ages.
"Jieun."
You moan her name, when she lets her pussy glide along your shaft once more.
Eventually, the two of you get used to each other. Jieun trades in the hard and deep thrusts for pace. She starts to really ride you now. The sound of her hips meeting yours echo through your room.
"Such a nice cock."
She breathlessly moans, her eyes shut as she enjoys the feeling of being completely filled.
Jieun keeps riding you, making you struggle to keep quiet. You try to distract yourself from the inevitable. Your hands start to explore Jieun's body. They first roam her midriff, enjoying her toned stomach, before they move further upwards.
You feel Jieun slowing down a little to make it easier for you to cup her tits. She tilts her head back when you grope her breasts.
"Yes, baby. Good boy."
You feel her pussy hugging you a little tighter now. You realize that you can't hold off your orgasm for much longer. It has been coming for a while now. Your exploring of her body made you forget about it for a moment. But the squeezing of her walls bring you back to reality.
Your hands keep cupping her tits as Jieun picks up the pace again. Soon, you are not the only one, who is hanging on by a threat.
The older woman feels your cock parting her walls, everytime she slams herself down on you. It almost seems like you hit deeper spots with every hit. Her nails slowly start to scratch the skin on your chest. That little bit of pain makes you squeeze Jieun's tits a little harder.
This finally drives the older woman over the edge. You didn't expect her to cum because of you. But here you are. Her pussy is pulsating around your cock, trying to to make you cum as well. Her lewd moan sounds like the voice of an angel as she voices her pleasure.
Jieun's tight grip on your cock brings you closer to your orgasm as well. You are able to hold out Jieun's, until she slowly starts to ride you again.
"Oh fuck. I needed that."
She sighs, enjoying your cock deep inside her pussy.
"I've been really stressed lately."
Jieun leans down to give you another kiss. You realize you are starting to get addicted to her lips. It's the same way with her pussy. If you stay inside of her for much longer, you doubt you will be able to live without it from now on.
"Tell me when you're there."
Jieun seems to be able to tell that you are close. It's embarrassing that you are cuming so soon. You wished you could try out more positions with her. Maybe even get a taste of her pussy. It looked more delicious than anything you've ever seen.
Jieun keeps riding you. Her snatch keeps your cock warm and wet. Her juices make it easy for her lips to glide along your shaft.
Your arms are slowly getting tired and you regretfully let go of her tits. Instead, your hands retake their place on Jieun's hip.
"Oh baby. Your cock feels so good. I really need your cum now."
Jieun's moaned words make you twitch inside of her. You are able to hold on a little longer. One more bounce. Two. Three.
You start counting, trying to distract yourself.
Ten. Twelve. Thirteen.
"Jieun."
Her name slips out of your mouth, accompanied by a deep groan. You never expected to say her name like this.
"Cum for me, baby. Put it in me."
You are unable to think straight. This is the hardest orgasm you've ever had. Everything starts to become blurry as you approach the end of the cliff.
"Creampie me. Give me that load."
Jieun's moans finally push you over. You feel her stop moving as you start to shoot rope after rope inside of her. You pump her pussy full with your cum.
You see stars as Jieun's pussy contracts around you, trying to squeeze every last drop out of your cock.
"Oh fuck yes. That's a good boy."
You eventually calm down, unable to comprehend what happened in the last thirty minutes. Did you actually do it? You had your first time with your classmate's mother? And came inside of her?
You are still unable to move, blankly staring up at the ceiling.
Jieun puts more weight onto your chest, leaning over you.
"You did great, baby."
She gives you another kiss.
"Where is the shower?"
"S-Second door on the right."
Jieun chuckles before kissing your cheek. She gets off of you and then off the bed. You realize she slipped her panties back on in the process. A dark spot is starting to ruin the white lace.
Taking this opportunity, you move your head, watching Jieun reach the door. Your eyes on her ass cheeks, taking in a sight, which you will probably never see again.
To your surprise, she suddenly turns around. Jieun giggles when she catches you staring.
"Aren't you coming?"
"W-What?"
"I thought you would enjoy taking me against a hard surface."
She winks at you, before leaving the room.
If you could, you would immediately jump off the bed. But your body is telling you take a moment.
Your eyes wander through your room, until they get caught on the yearbook, which is standing in your bookshelf. If Jieun would've seen it, would she have done the same? Or would she have called this off?
You genuinely can't tell.
When you hear a moan from the bathroom, you immediately jump out of your bed. The tiredness is all gone now. You realize that every second with her is priceless.
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ybklix · 6 months ago
Text
𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧
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★ pairing: ceo!leeminho x fem!reader
♡ part 3 (part one, part two) 𓂃 ࣪˖ part four
✦summary: You wanted to believe that after exposing each other’s feelings, you were in for a fairy tale tinted in the prettiest pink, until you get to know Minho's true colors and try to hold on, in the end, both of you are very different.
✭ content - tags - warnings: smut / sugar daddy / dom!possesive minho / needy minho / fluff / unprotected sex / fingering / teasing / oral sex
word count: 9.5k
( updated masterlist ᝰ.ᐟ )
That confession had come so genuinely and sincerely from you that you almost found yourself trembling once your tried to rejoin the crowd to continue celebrating Minho. You looked at him as he held your hand and walked you back to his party located in the huge, beautiful grassy grounds. You couldn't believe you liked someone, or at least the way you like Minho, you were crazy about every part of him and after the most ruthless act you can appreciate, comes with him one of the cutest and tenderest smiles you've ever seen, your new obsession was his tender laugh that made your body warm in seconds.
“Do you want to stay at my place tonight?” he whispered in your ear.
You watched him, his brown eyes sparkled and he looked at you with a tender smile, lifting his cheekbones and hiding his upper lip slightly, showing his cute front teeth. You nodded, you could tell he had a nice time and enjoyed the reunion created by his friend.
After hours, night fell and little by little the guests said goodbye to Minho, leaving only him, Hyunjin, you and the rest of the staff who were carefully cleaning the tables. You managed to drink your last glass of champagne before they cleared everything away and turned to see the man you liked standing a few yards away from you, his hands inside his pants pockets and looking off into the horizon as he talked to his friend.
“So you finally decided to stay with y/n, good for you, she was too good to waste her potential in sites like that” Hyunjin commented without measuring his words.
Minho smiled after nervously telling him that he saw himself with you, together. After a disastrous breakup, he was once again feeling the excitement and care of wanting to be with someone. However, hearing his friend remind him of some of what he was trying to ignore and overlook, like how he met you, was when his pleasant gesture vanished from his face and he tensed his jaw a little. Hyunjin noticed it instantly and managed to remedy himself.
“I mean I bet she's smart and pretty too…”
“She is” replied Minho seriously, remembering your long journey before meeting him, studying and working at the same time, but now that you were with him, Minho would make sure you lack absolutely nothing.
“You're welcome” Hyunjin told him amused squeezing Minho's shoulders trying to relax him a little “if it wasn't for my serious meddling problem, I would have never intervened in your life and you wouldn't have met her.”
Minho let out a chuckle and looked slyly in your direction.
“Definitely the kind of girl you would want to be with, very you” Hyunjin added looking at Minho seeing you, “but what would your mother say.”
Minho turned to look at Hyunjin, serious, but with some amusement on his face; Hyunjin looked at him with a look of shock and humor because they both knew what it meant, Minho had a long record of doing things that didn't please his conservative mother, until he dated Soyul, daughter of powerful and wealthy family; once Minho started dating Soyul, his mother believed she was finally getting her only son back; his mother adored her and even tried to persuade her son to forgive her, that little slips in relationships could happen, he didn't consider it so, he couldn't marry and give his life to someone he knew betrayed him and felt dirty being with another man.
“A 20 year old middle class college girl will be the reason for her death” Minho let out a laugh.
“And she studies arts, if that angered my parents, imagine yours” commented Hyunjin.
But he didn't care, as long as you were his, the rest didn't matter to him. After some more small talk, Minho thanked Hyunjin for the evening and said goodbye, approaching you, ready to go home with you. You drank alone, a little shy of interrupting the conversation of men.
“Don't drink too much, I want you to remember this whole night” Minho said to you in a mischievous tone, taking the cup from your hand and looking at you the only way he knows how and puts your weak knees.
You smiled broadly at him showing your teeth and narrowing your eyes, he pulled his body dangerously close to you, who on impulse you wrapped your arms around his neck, leaving them resting on his shoulders, almost jumping towards him, almost as if you had missed him in that period he was away from you; there was nothing else you wanted more right now than to feel being in Minho's arms.
“Let's go or I'll start to forget” you told him with your chin and eyes raised to look at him, close to his face.
Minho circled your body, watching you and enjoying your closeness.
“Let's go then, princess” he whispered to you.
He handed the cup to an employee and took you by the hand to walk to the parking lot, where he opened his car door for you and finally drove. This time he would make sure to be all gentleman for you from now on, Minho just wanted to be there for you, devotedly devoted to you, that's how intense he was, either he was not interested in you at all, or you were his whole world.
“Do you want us to go home already or do you want to do something… it's still Saturday night and you still look beautiful, if you want to do something fun…” spoke Minho once he took the road towards the city.
You smiled at him, not sure he could see you because he was focused with his eyes straight ahead and driving, you found him incredibly attractive doing the slightest thing that, if it wasn't for car armrests separating you, you'd be jumping his lap to feel his hard worked firm legs press against your butt and thighs. You always loved his side in profile and watching him take the wheel, you knew it from a week when you barely knew each other. You thought about how short the time passed, how in a week ago he seemed to disown you and now he was taking you in his car asking you what you wanted to do, telling you he would do everything for you, it seemed unreal how time treated you, still it helped a lot that you saw each other every day, you couldn't get enough of him, every day he had something new, Minho was quite a mature man, he would tell you the news happening in the country that he read on his phone while he had breakfast, but you were more of reading only the shows and celebrities section, or when he told you about some article he read and informed you every detail about it while you sat on his lap before moving your guts, you softly murmur to him “ah really?”, sometimes you didn't understand anything, still you loved to hear him talk. And not to mention the sex, for you everything was new with him, you felt like a first timer, each orgasm was stronger than the previous one, your experiences with college guys were nothing compared to what he made you feel.
Minho watched you for a second as you shook your head still with a smile plastered on your face.
“No?” he said in amazement, “Well I guess you want that kind of fun then” he added more mischievously.
You leaned on to him and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek which made Minho blush and smile.
After several songs on the radio later and Minho's small talk about every aspect of the party, you finally arrived at his house. You didn't want to let out a sigh in excitement, but you were excited, you were addicted to Minho and you weren't ashamed to admit it, there was no one in the world who knew how to touch and please you like he did.
You walked in a little tired, Minho had to pretend to be nice all afternoon, you had to smile all the time being the pretty girl intertwining Minho's arm all the time, you didn't want to, you felt kind of weird, but he wanted it that way, introducing you to everyone he knew as “a special friend”, you weren't upset at all by the term, at least Minho decided to be honest and not call you his girlfriend still, besides that was before he confessed to you that he really liked you. Curiosity invaded your body… thinking also if Minho was treating you with exclusivity, only touching you, not seeing anyone else and what it would feel like to really be his girlfriend, why someone like his ex-girlfriend would waste such an opportunity.
“We can watch a movie if you want” you turned to him, seductively playing with the opening of his jacket.
Minho saw you, smiling.
“I'll go take a shower, do you want to join me?”
You smiled, so far you hadn't had sex in the shower and you were so excited just thinking about it. You accompanied him to his bathroom where, he helped you take off your clothes, gently sliding that dress over you, he pulled down your panties and as if by magic every time he got close to you, your area was already incredibly sensitive. Minho admired your naked body for a few seconds and began to undress himself, he was just beginning to raise his enthusiasm, he knew perfectly well that you wanted to be fucked while the water ran down your body. You admired Minho's body and the swollen cock you scream for every day, you couldn't help it, you could do it with him every day anytime, it would always be a great experience with him.
“Do you like your water hot, warm…?” spoke Minho approaching his shower room.
“Mmm a little hotter than warm.”
“Just like you. Hotter” he replied.
Minho smiled, putting the water to run, little by little little vapor coming out from it, he walked towards you and took your waist joining your bodies together, you were surprised to feel his erection pink on you and he kissed you slowly, once again you wrapped your arms around his neck and Minho slowly decided to let his kiss escalate into something hotter and hotter, introducing his tongue and moving his lips provocatively against yours, while his hands traveled one to your ass squeezing it and the other tracing your waist until he reached your breast and played with your nipple. Your breath began to come in short gasps and your legs began to give out on you in seconds with just a kiss and the friction of his growing erection against your abdomen. You didn't want to look so needy only you so you decided to lower your right hand to his penis and start pulling and stroking it subtly, Minho moaned loudly at the feel of your hand while sucking on your lip, he stopped kissing you for a few seconds enjoying your touches while you looked at him proud that he is giving in too.
“Fuck, yes, it feels, good, keep doing it kitten, your strokes are so gentle” Minho gasped closing his eyes tightly and licking his lips as he bites them.
You lowered your other hand to him and felt his rigid length, slowly masturbating him, Minho was so desperate, the sound of the water falling and of friction of his member being pleasured, he had to come back to reality so between a long sigh he said:
“Let's get you wet…”
You looked up as you were for a moment watching closely the way your hand was moving on his big cock, you smiled sideways as that was double entendre, although you were already in itself wet and horny.
“Not like that, let's go to the shower honey” he laughed softly.
You let go and walked into the hot water, making you startle a little as you felt the warm sensation on your naked body. You both laughed, pulling your bodies together so that the pressure of the water reached out to wet you both. You raised your gaze to Minho and let out a giggle again as you saw his hair flattened by the shower and as he pushed his long hair away from his eyes. Minho grabbed your arm and moved a little away from the direct stream, letting it fall on your back and ass, and he kissed you again, this time more desperate, kisses down your body, you could not even respond, he suddenly took full control of your body and pleasure once again, you gasped in astonishment as you suddenly felt it and the temperature of the water running down your back suddenly felt ten times hotter.
You struggled to breathe, the steam enclosed the place and your hot breath didn't help at all, you looked down, finding Minho with his face buried in your pussy, his jaw moving with effort to get the right spots stimulated and his straight nose bumping against your skin; you were feeling so good that you started to lose your balance and had to lean on his shoulder, trembling; Minho started to thrust you with his fingers feeling the tightness of your soft lubricated cunt walls, Minho was crazy about your moans and feeling your insides, he could cum just fantasizing about having you.
You were about to reach your peak, panting harder and harder indicating it, until you felt nothing, all your load suddenly stopped, feeling Minho stop what he was doing, you looked at him confused and with a slight pout on your face as he stood up again, you were soaking wet, and not from the shower water, you were ready to explode in orgasm and give your sweet juices to your very “special friend”. Minho smiled softly at your discontent and leaving you sexually frustrated, he held your waist and leaned you back against the wall a little roughly, he couldn't take it anymore, his cock was about to explode too if he didn't enter you, you understood instantly and wrapped your legs around his lower torso. Minho awkwardly took his sensitive cock letting out a groan and positioned it at your entrance, slowly pushing it further in letting out a sigh, almost as if he could finally breathe.
You watched brazenly as his length pushed into you leaving you breathless once you felt it hit your deepest spot, once all the way inside, you looked up staring at him, Minho had an expression of being slightly concentrated and had his mouth half open, with his gaze lost on your neck and lips; within seconds he started to move, feeling you slowly being ruined by his big cock, no matter how many times he fucked you, you couldn't adjust to his size and still you worshipped him madly, it was the best part. Minho began to forcefully thrust his cock into your cunt in a fast and frantic rhythm as he held you tightly by your ass and thighs. You tried to maintain his intense eye contact but you couldn't, you were lost in the myriad of sensations, pleasure, desire, pain, as you rested your arms on his shoulders and played with his wet hair.
“Look into my eyes while I fuck you” he ordered unexpectedly in a husky voice.
You wanted to enjoy every movement by closing your eyes and rolling them but suddenly following Minho's directions turned you on more and staying obedient in a task you found difficult made your body temperature hotter. Each stroke enveloped Minho's cock, feeling his every inch of your wet pussy, he could fade there in your arms if only you knew how you made him feel. Minho had stopped feeling intensely for quite some time now, until you crossed his path.
You couldn't hold it back any longer and dug your nails hard under the back of his neck as you let all your tension finally release, sighing vigorously and cumming with your lover's cock still inside you, which he soon did too, releasing himself into you, grunting and exclaiming in a harsh voice “fuck” as he filled you with his cum.
The rest of the bath was done shyly and a little awkwardly, helping to put shampoo in Minho's hair, laughing as he complained dramatically and screaming that you were treating his scalp roughly, just Minho being him.
As you left wrapped in towels, you noticed a distinctive bag from one of the most famous lingerie brands on Minho's bed, confused you turned to look at him since you hadn't noticed it when you entered his room minutes before. Minho noticed your look and said,
“I ordered it for you when we were at the party because I did think you would stay, you should have more pairs here just in case. I had them washed, don't worry.”
You approached towards the big bag shyly trying to process everything he had said, thinking how come he could bring these things up and be one step ahead… normally a simple guy would be like 'oh yeah, we fucked and I forgot those little details that comes with once we're done'; but it wasn't just any guy, it was Lee Minho. You felt like you were in TV drama series, the rich guy always taking care of the girl.
“Thank you” you murmured shyly to him and pulled out the set of comfortable but sexy silk pajamas.
Minho finished before getting ready, putting on his comfortable pajama pants and a simple white t-shirt, then he saw you, who still wasn't finished, he approached you with a pure and tender look, he didn't know how to explain it but it was something that overwhelmed him and grew more and more every second he spent with you.
You watched him approach you, thinking how cute he looked wearing simple pajamas loose to his body, normally you saw him well dressed but now he was so relaxed in his own room ready to go to bed, you didn't think he could look any cuter.
You were putting moisturizer on your legs and you felt Minho sit on the bed.
“You should live here” he said suddenly.
That sentence made you stop your activity and you looked at him incredulously, shaking your head in disbelief.
“We've known each other for how long...”
Minho sighed in annoyance, he wanted to have you all the time, he knew it was a big step, but, he just knew he didn't want to be alone, he just wanted to be with you.
“It doesn't matter it's just that” he turned to look at you with his big eyes almost pleading, “...this house is too big and I don't want to feel lonely, I want to be with you.”
You didn't know what to say, but for a second the curiosity to know everything behind that sentence won you over.
“You lived here with your ex-girlfriend?”
Minho denied softly with a frown.
“No, I moved out immediately, you gave this house meaning.”
You sat down next to him, placing your hand on his in a no brainer, again you were speechless.
“You don't know me yet, what if I'm too messy for you” you joked.
“You could never make me hate you...” he blurted out suddenly with a submissive look and a subdued tone, looking you straight in the eye.
You blinked perplexed by the sudden rush of feelings inside you, you couldn't explain it, it wasn't excitement, but it was something physical and at the same time internal, Minho had to watch what he said and all those little acts he did with you or... you thought you might end up falling in love. Minho took your hand and directed it to his cheek, closing his eyes enjoying your warm touch, you had never held Minho's face like that and it suddenly felt so good that you had to put your other hand on his cheek, stroking him softly with your thumb.
“Then let me live in your apartment" he added in a soft whisper with a small sweet complicit smile.
You smiled, how could he talk nonsense, you couldn't imagine Minho living in an apartment smaller than his closet and kitchen, the idea of him in a place he didn't belong seemed funny and out of place for you.
“I need you, y/n” he continued, opening his eyes and looking at you in a way that melted everything inside you, “I'm crazy about you.”
Minho lowered his gaze to your lips and came closer to kiss you, you accepted him surprised, following his slow pace; you didn't understand how he could say those things while you looked with your wet hair unbrushed and without a drop of makeup on you, but he sounded so sincere that it made you question so many things... he could live tasting your lips always and every part of you, this time he was in no hurry at all and wanted to enjoy every second of the thin skin of your lips.
One thing escalated to another and Minho gently placed you on top of him, positioning your knees on either side of his thighs and intensifying your kisses, in which you were more and more breathless and sighing against each other. All this felt so intimate that you could predict that if he fucked you it would not be about that kind of hard and rough fucking you usually have, but about making love again. He roamed your body running his hands under your blouse, he loved touching you and feeling every part of you with his strokes.
You parted for a moment, catching your breaths and looking at each other's slightly swollen lips.
“Fuck me again” he almost begged.
Minho held you by the waist; you let yourself fall gently onto his lap feeling his bulging erection, you swallowed somewhat nervously, wanting to make it so nice and smooth that you didn't want to ruin it. Minho needed you, he needed you one more time only so he could breathe, he could beg you just now if you decided to play with him and refuse.
You slid his pajamas and underwear off making him moan, and there it was, one of the many reasons how Minho's body reacted when it came to you. You sighed trying to remove your pajama shorts and pushed the fabric of your underwear aside, inserting his cock in your cunt once again, you moaned at the new contact in a short span of time and moved up and down slowly with the help of Minho's grip, both of you panting; you hugged him and leaned your head a little on his right shoulder, thinking about how fucking good it felt to belong to him, as if you were joined together like puzzle pieces. You also thought about again feeling his bare cock unprotected and how that could lead you into a very big mistake, a fucking child under the zodiac sign of leo, a spoiled attention seeker and impulsive little fucker, just like your relationship, you thought, which would somehow ironically be the perfect creation of both of you.
[...]
A few moments later you both had a movie marathon in Minho's mini cinema room, you couldn't believe he had a room just for that, you expected it from your friend who studied cinema but not from him, a simple rich man... suddenly you remembered Felix, feeling wrong and a bad friend, plus you hadn't talked about what happened “that” day when you stupidly told him you liked him... but putting it in retrospect, you felt completely different about both confessions, when you told Felix and when you told Minho, you didn't want to think about it, you were hugely avoiding the problem.
But it didn't matter, you felt so comfortable in Minho's strong arms just now that you ignored your thoughts. You were leaning against his chest, hugging him. Minho smiled as he discreetly checked the time on his cell phone, he leaned his head over you more and whispered sweetly “Happy birthday” you stirred a little from his chest and looked up to see him a little confused.
“It’s past midnight so, happy birthday, y/n” he spoke again sweetly.
Once again you thought that if he kept being this sweet and tender, you might end up doing something fatal like falling in love...
“You still haven’t told me what you want for your birthday...” added Minho.
You grimaced thoughtfully, eliciting tenderness from him; you truly hadn’t thought about it... you didn't know what you wanted, if you had never met him, you'd be spending a sleepover with Hari and partying the rest of the day with her and Felix.
“I don't know... I can’t think of anything material” you replied.
Minho raised an eyebrow in disapproval. But you really just wanted to be with him.
“You're sure? I can give you anything.”
You smiled amused and decided to joke about the situation, it was amazing how easily he said it and that you knew perfectly well that he wasn't joking, yes he could get it for you.
“Mmm well... will you give me a car?” you commented with false enthusiasm.
“I’ll buy you three,” he said with a smile and a serious manner.
“I wasn’t serious, please don't” you said in mild panic.
Minho let out a soft chuckle.
[…]
The next morning, you woke up so comfortable in Minho's big bed, you had slept so well, curled up on his chest, feeling the warmth of his body. You were about to get out of bed when you noticed that Minho was no longer there, but he quickly came in with a big smile and already dressed up, looking more handsome than yesterday, you thought.
“Good morning, do you want breakfast in bed or do you want to go down for it, princess” he said approaching you.
You looked at him still not fully awake, causing him tenderness.
“I can come down” you spoke in a hoarse voice.
“Okay, go on, I cooked for you. Oh and pick out what clothes you want to wear today, I'll send share it right away.”
Minho came up to you and gave you a soft kiss on your cheek making you surprised and blush.
“Do you feel 21 already? Be all big girl for me in a while” he said, winking at you.
[…]
You spent the whole afternoon together with Minho, usually you didn't plan anything special on your birthday but he made it special this year, he took you out to do activities on a relaxed Sunday, you visited open places and explored cute locations, all the stuff of a date.
However, your best friends kept insisting that you should do their little tradition every year which consisted of spending it with them and two cakes, one bought, nice and pretty, and one experimental baked by Felix, that used to be your favorite.
Felix's call puzzled you too much, luckily you were comfortably at Minho's house, while he was doing some things and you happened to be without him around. You swallowed nervously and answered.
“Finally I can hear your voice, happy birthday” Felix said from the other side of the line with his characteristic thick voice that surprised you a little, you had a while since you haven't heard him.
“Thank you, Lix.”
“So, what are we doing today? Can I see you today?”
Oh no, you thought, you had told Hari all about it, about how you wanted to spend your day with Minho, but you couldn't tell Felix. You thought for a few seconds, looking towards Minho's direction where he left a few minutes ago, you didn't want to, you didn't want to leave him alone, but you didn't want to leave Felix either.
“Mmm I'll be with my parents” you lied, as the only feasible option.
“You'll be going out of town?” he quickly replied in astonishment.
“No, they'll be coming to my apartment.”
“Ahh then you'll be at your apartment.”
“Yes...” you replied hoping he wouldn't decide to suddenly show up at your door.
“Okay” he suddenly said cheerfully which weirded you out, “I'll see you tomorrow then, okay? Happy birthday.”
He said then cut off, you found his tone so unusual, you knew he was up to something, he wasn't good at hiding things. And the truth was that Felix had insisted to Hari to organize a surprise party for you since he wanted to see you and have a nice time, Hari disagreed since she knew perfectly well that you would be with Minho all day, since, you told her a few moments ago via text message, after she wished you happy birthday and asked about Minho: «I think this is getting serious», scaring your friend in a good way, but feeling bad for Felix.
She couldn't lie to Felix, she didn't have time to make up an excuse by saying you would be busy, and just used the old excuse that you would be with your parents; Felix knew that in a way you lied to him since yes, your story matched Hari's, spending your birthday with your parents, only Hari said you would be out of town and then you confirmed that you would be in your place. So Felix immediately called your friend and excitedly told her that they could still have the surprise party at your place with the help of your parents if only Hari would distract you for a moment, plus she was the only person who had an extra key to your apartment, to which she shouted “No!”, they didn't have to involve your parents, so finally Felix got caught in the lie.
Hari had to confess to him that you wouldn't be at your apartment evading saying the reason why you would be busy, Felix was so confused that he wanted to know what was really going on, so he insisted on hosting the party anyway at your apartment, making Hari finally give in. Meanwhile, Hari had to beg you to come to your apartment, that she wanted to see you right away and spend your birthday together with her, even though deep down, it was Felix manipulating her.
Felix spared himself in asking why you were not at your place on a Sunday and besides on your special date, to his knowledge, you had no other close friends to celebrate with, but he didn't have to ask Hari, he would soon find out by his own means, since you fucked, he noticed you weird and if that was ruining your closeness, then he was willing to forget it and continue to be your friend.
On the other hand you saw Minho come out of the hallway from which he lost his silhouette for a few minutes while he was busy with something, and returned to you with a smile and two elegant little boxes.
“Happy birthday” he repeated, handing you both boxes placing them in the palms of his hands.
You smiled softly at him and took both boxes, assuming they were jewelry and indeed, in one of was a nice thin golden ring with details of small diamonds embedded and, in the other, a silver ring with small differences in the design.
“I don't quite know if you wear gold or silver so I brought you both” spoke Minho trying to act cool.
You looked at him with a smile and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you. I think with my outfit goes the silver one.”
Minho let out air in a soft laugh and helped you put it on your middle finger.
“How did you know my ring size?” you said in amazement as you noticed it fit perfectly.
Minho drew one of his tender, complicit smiles, lifting his shoulders; he was more attentive to your details than you thought.
[…]
Hours later, you didn't want to bother Minho by telling him that you had to go to your apartment since Hari insisted on seeing you; to which he sweetly offered to be there with you if it didn't bother you, to which you replied “of course not”, you were excited that Hari finally met Minho in person, and not under a random picture that Hyunjin sent her that time when she was handling your 'dating' account.
Your friend had two choices, either you walked through that door alone, or you did it together with Minho. You were nervous on the way in wishing your apartment wasn't so messy, or that Minho wouldn't find some detail, still, you were excited because once Hari left you could fuck him in your bed, it was fun just thinking that you could do it everywhere, this morning you did it in the kitchen after you ate the delicious breakfast he prepared for you, you both still had so many parts and places to discover.
And, to the bad luck of the three of you, to Hari, Felix and you, you entered together with Minho through that door.
“Surprise!” shouted Hari and Felix at the same time as they came out from behind your couch.
But it was indeed a surprise, the smile of the three of you vanished as each of you saw each other and for Felix, as he saw you enter with another man, who was very familiar to him, Lee Minho. Felix didn't understand anything. The only one smiling there, was Minho not knowing what was going on.
“Happy birthday… y/n” Felix approached you with unsure steps without clearing his gaze from Minho. “We haven't spoken well since that day” he hugged you.
Minho immediately caught the tone he used when he remarked “that day”, what day… what was he talking about? Minho looked at you tensely, he couldn't help but get ideas and jealous in milliseconds when it came to you.
“Ah, Yongbokkie, what are you doing here?” greeted Minho with a smile while squeezing him by the arm, a little harder than usual. “Why didn't you attend my birthday yesterday?”
You gave Hari a dirty look for not warning you that Felix would be there, but suddenly Minho's tone of confidence towards Felix surprised you more than the party itself; you had completely forgotten that they knew each other, and that they greeted each other that night at Hyunjin's hotel.
“What are you doing here?” replied Felix reluctantly in disbelief.
Minho blinked innocently with a small arrogant smile on his face as he noticed the sour tone in which Felix, a junior to him, suddenly spoke to him.
“I came with y/n” he said proudly.
“What… since when do you guys even know each other?” spoke Felix again.
Felix had so many questions, his mind didn't understand how it was possible for you to suddenly hook up with Lee Minho, you didn't live in the same area, there was no medium which could connect you directly, plus he was much older than you.
“Since when did we date?” suddenly blurted out Minho, grabbing your waist, he found it amusing to play a little with the poor boy in distress, but his smile faded as he remembered that the way you met was not something you proudly explain out loud, Minho continued, provoking Felix, “She works for me and then we matched on a blind date, I guess destiny really wanted us together.”
You looked incredulously at Minho, why would he say you were dating, he never asked you to be his girlfriend, and poor Felix opened his mouth in astonishment, suddenly he went from knowing everything about you to knowing nothing. It couldn't have been a worse day for him, his heart broke trying to process everything that was going on.
“Let's eat cake, or gimbap, it's y/n's favorite” Hari interrupted hurriedly.
The air was too tense, Felix tried to calm down and saw the similarity of the two, between you and Minho, he came to the conclusion that you were both little bastards. Felix couldn't hate you and he hated himself for that, because he should be bitter, you fucked him and told him you liked him and then you ignore him and suddenly you show up with another man, what the fuck were you playing to? Felix knew Minho well, his Lee family was pretty close with Felix's Lee's; Felix's older sister had a huge crush on Minho but he never reciprocated, he thought it was odd that he reciprocated to you, to someone much younger than Minho, Felix thought the idiot liked them young, though last thing he heard it was that, he broke up with his long term girlfriend and was single, until you came along.
Minho kept looking at you tenderly while you blew out your candles on the cake after singing happy birthday to you, he decided to stop the childish nonsense behavior and focus on you, although he couldn't deny that there was that tingle of annoyance in him when he noticed Felix's negative attitude, Minho knew how to instantly recognize another jealous man, it was obvious that Felix was and, if he was like that, it was because there was a reason, for the moment Minho didn't want to give the matter a second thought because he knew he would go crazy and lose his mind when he found out that you could have been with Felix before him.
Hari was trying to soften the atmosphere, which Minho quite liked, he liked your best friend so much that he almost forgot that she is or was also part of that shady place where he met you, as Hari was currently with Chan, another close friend of his. After eating, Minho asked you softly where your bathroom was, to which you answered that it was down the hallway, to the left, and when he went into it, he could not help but notice that in front of it was your room, since the door was open. Curiosity flooded Minho and he slipped in without anyone being able to see him, he smiled as he breathed in the nice scent it had despite being a little messy, you had clothes on your bed, on your desk chair, shopping mall bags still on the floor and your closet open…. yet he inspected every detail, he had liked your apartment, you entered through the door, to the left was the small kitchen with its countertop, off to the left was the narrow laundry room; in the short entrance hallway was another closet, opposite the entrance was your living room decorated with bookshelves, your TV, and through the window diagonally to your living room, your dining room and finally to the right, the narrow hallway leading to your bedroom and across from the bathroom. Still, he thought you were worthy of a larger space, where all your clothes could fit and not be cluttered… and then, on your desk, a picture of you and Felix, smiling in what appeared to be a theater, Minho grimaced, thinking that he must really be special to you since you had no other picture of anything or anyone.
Minho came out and spent some time talking to Hari, while Felix remained silent, thinking he had to talk to you, but alone. Once it got later, you saw them leave, not without Felix first confirming in a serious tone that he would talk to you tomorrow, making you nervous and reminding you that you were upset with Minho.
You closed the door and turned to see Minho annoyed, he was standing behind you, with no expression until he saw your face and raised an eyebrow. You tensed your jaw and ignored him, heading towards your room as you tried to remove your earrings, you were so angry you weren't thinking straight.
“You need to leave, now” you told him curtly turning your back on him.
Minho immediately reacted offended and followed you, you didn't want him to be there so you wanted to push him away from your door, but he was through reaching his arms out towards the door frame.
“What happened now, why are you upset?” he also replied somewhat defensively.
You raised your gaze looking at him, mad again.
“Why? Why did you have to say I'm your girlfriend, you never asked me to and you lied with that blind date thing” you exploded suddenly, without thinking too much, maybe it was just because of the heated moment and seeing Felix's hurt look after Minho told him that tactlessly.
Minho let out a laugh unable to believe what he was hearing, he had been holding back his annoyance, but now that you decided to let it all out, he had to as well. Minho raised his eyebrows in annoyance looking down at you with authority from above and ran his tongue along his cavity, causing you to recoil until you touched the edge of your bed, confused and a little afraid of his reaction.
“Why does it bother you so much if that boy knows whether we're going out or not, huh? You fucked him, didn't you?” he yelled angrily at you, his hands on his hips and the vein in his neck standing out, his eyes widened further, that wasn't all he had to say, “So what if I lied saying how we met, or do you want the whole world to know that I met you being a fucking whore?”
You stared into his manic eyes as your breathing became heavy, that last one had hurt you, he was right, he had the right to be ashamed of how you met; you didn't want to see him anymore, he had never yelled at you like that, you dropped onto your bed, staring at the floor, suddenly you wanted to cry.
“And of course I want you to be my girlfriend, I want you to be mine and if you plan to reject me, then tell me now and I won't waste my time” Minho ran his hand across his jaw annoyed diverting his gaze to your window.
You couldn't speak, your heart was pounding, you thought about how he wasn't even your boyfriend yet and you were already fighting and he felt ashamed of you, how the fuck was something like that going to work. You really liked him but hearing the truth hurt too much, maybe you will always be different? You raised your gaze to see him, your eyes slightly crystallized, Minho sighed in exasperation as he noticed the silence and knew he over opened his mouth, once again he said hurtful things and confirmed it when he turned to see you, sitting on your bed looking at him with glowing eyes and a slight pout. He felt horrible, he would never forgive himself for leaving you like that; why did he have to be himself and be aggressive to the one person he wants to take such good care of in the world.
“Y/n, I…” he tried to remedy himself.
“Just go away, Minho. Get out of my sight now” you sighed tiredly and sadly and cut off eye contact.
Minho denied softly and knelt down in front of you seeking your gaze.
“Don't be like this please, it's your special day” he tried to cheer you up, as Minho didn't know how to apologize, “Let me make it up to you, yes?” he tried to take your chin, but you rejected him, you wished he would get away from you because once close, you couldn't think straight, “You shouldn't be like this… I will make it up to you so much…” he whispered softly running his gentle hands down your naked thighs under your dress.
You hated yourself so much, you wanted to hit him and push him away, he had called you a whore to your face and now he sought to please you, you thought if you weren't something else for him to take his sexual discharge with… but it would be hypocritical of you to blame him, because you adored every touch of him that you couldn't let his hands leave your body.
“Minho, don’t…” you whispered a little excitedly placing your hand over his that he was slowly stimulating your clitoris through the underwear fabric, that morning he had told you to walk only in your underwear under your dress just for him.
“What do you want huh…?” he murmured seductively with his mouth half open concentrating on making gentle circles over your spot with his fingertips, “You want me to stop… to go away… just say the word and I'll do it in a second.”
You couldn't speak, you were already so aroused that you moaned at the feel of his fingers at your sensitive entrance. You wanted him to apologize. And as if Minho read your mind, he took your hand and positioned it on his cheek.
“I'm sorry” he said sincerely looking at you with his huge sharp eyes, “Please forgive me, y/n.” he whimpered.
Minho didn't want to let you go, he would beg for you if necessary.
“Let me show you how sorry I am” he said leaving innocence behind and slowly slid your panties over your legs, once again caressing your wet pussy.
Minho grabbed your thighs and pulled you closer to him, lifted your dress and started eating your cunt.
[…]
You had never felt so nervous in college, not even in your final exams to how you did now. At any moment Felix could appear and want to talk.
You cautiously continued your classes and it wasn't until after lunch when Felix fixedly summoned you to talk on a bench near his faculty. You were nervous and felt strange.
Felix had overthought it, he loved you so much that if you were happy… he would seek his own happiness too.
However, his thoughts were more structured and mature than with what he was about to tell you, what was in his mind did not match his mouth, his heart had betrayed him.
“I just want you to tell me you love him, say you love Minho and only then can I back off.”
Felix cursed himself for saying it that way, he didn't want to sound aggressive, he had a rehearsed dialogue to say, but it just didn't work for him.
You looked into his eyes. Nothing. you felt nothing but guilt; you wanted to cry, to beg the universe that if it had always been Felix you wouldn't be suffering. It was never in your plans to be that kind of girl, that no matter what she did, she would end up hurting someone, much less had you planned to meet Minho but… you couldn't stay away from him; you didn't know if it was love, he and you still weren't on good terms since yesterday, he only fucked you to try to remedy it but he left you more ruined, especially his sweet after sex care.
“We just… we just started to date…” you said without thinking.
“You're dating him without being in love?” interrupted Felix and for a second he wanted to ask what bothered him the most, are you dating him for money?
Felix wasn't dumb, since a week ago you wear nicer and more expensive clothes, your countenance shines more, you stopped working the rest of your part time jobs.
“I… I can't leave Minho.”
“Why?” he asked.
Why, you asked yourself.
[…]
That afternoon you had to follow Minho to another of his meetings, you still didn't talk to him properly, you just said “yes, no” and ignored him every time he tried to tell you something. It wasn't him, you thought, it was you, you were hurt by Felix, and it hurt you that you liked and needed him so much, that's why you hated falling in love; somehow or other he had to hurt you and nothing could be as nice and pure as you wished it could be.
When you were waiting for Minho in the waiting room, the first executive came out of the room, you looked at him out of the corner of your eye but your face lit up when you saw that it was someone you knew, he also recognized you instantly and approached you to greet you. During your second semester you mistakenly took an economics class taught by him, Yang Jeongin, it was really a system error that you couldn't fix, a guy who was supposed to take economics was taking the art history class, while you were stuck in Yang’s class; you had no choice but to tell Jeongin and take his class, which he found quite funny and helped you credit his subject so it didn't affect your GPA.
Jeongin sat next to you and you began to chat comfortably, finally you could forget your anger and sadness for a few moments.
“I guess you did decide on some economics then, so well did I teach?” mentioned Jeongin as she saw you there, dressed smartly with a portfolio.
You laughed softly.
“Oh no, I work as an assistant.”
“Ahh, from whom? From knowing you were looking for that kind of job I’d hire you right when you finished the subject, never hurts a little extra help.”
Your smile faded a little, as you earnestly said his name.
“Lee Minho.”
Jeongin made a grimace that you found amusing.
“Good luck with that. He's got a reputation.”
And just as he said it, your short period of laughter and relaxation ended as you saw Minho walk out with a bunch of other men, he quickly approached you without saying a word, just looked at Jeongin heavily for seconds and then looked at you.
“Well, I have to go, Jeongin, it was nice to see you.”
“Same, anytime, cutie.”
You stood up from the sofa just like Jeongin and Minho watched him leave with his gaze glued to every step he took. Then he turned to look at you, once again with that manic look from yesterday. Minho dragged you away taking you by the arm, leading you to a private place.
“You know Yang Jeongin?” he spat raising his eyebrow.
“Yes…” you tried to answer without giving him importance and driven because he grabbed your arm tightly and started acting weird.
“Why do you know him? Did you fuck him too?” claimed Minho to you.
You opened your mouth in surprise, you wanted to claim so many things to him, how is it possible for him to get like this with a minimal interaction with a man and if he never plans to let go of your past, believing that you fucked every guy he sees you with. You didn't want to waste your energy and didn't answer him.
“Tell me, tell me now” he yelled and then almost whimpered.
You wanted to ignore him but from his anger he went to a second to looking listless, worrying you a little. This was completely ruining Minho, it wasn't enough for him to fuck you, he wanted to live under skin forever.
“I never fucked anyone but you on that stupid app, you were the first and the last and I'm sick of you never letting go of the fucking thing” you approached him annoyed.
Minho tried to catch his breath, he was feeling too much in such a short time he didn't know what was wrong with him, he had never been so obsessed and without thinking he hugged you, feeling your body for the first time after a few frustrating hours of ignoring him.
[…]
Finally it was Minho's birthday, you wished things weren't as they were now… the two of you didn't talk about anything, he just left you at home making you feel empty, why couldn't he communicate what he felt, you thought, what bothered him so much after you told him the truth, genuine and the one he wanted to hear so much.
You were determined to talk to him once you got to his office, which you were heading to, after you finished your classes, but the ringing of your phone interrupted you, it was exactly him.
“Yes?” you replied.
“What exit you take usually when you're on your way to work?”
You frowned in confusion and looked in front of you.
“By the east parking lot?” replied Minho, to which you were surprised he knew the answer, “Turn around.”
You did it slowly and there was his car standing a few yards away. You hung up, you saw him get out of his car, looking so handsome and radiant as if nothing of the last few days had affected him, you missed that Minho so much that you wanted to run into his arms, but you resisted and took your time until you reached him.
“Your boss authorized your day off today” he said sweetly with a smile, “And… I'm so sorry… don't make me feel bad in my…”
“Happy birthday” you interrupted him by placing your index finger over his lips amusedly.
Minho smiled broadly and grabbed you by the waist. You still needed a lot of answers… but seeing him so cute there, you couldn't help it, you wanted that Minho, not the one who suddenly made you cry.
“I have the best gift right now” he murmured on your lips and kissed you, enjoying every second after not doing it for more than 24 hours. “It will only be better if you agree to go with me.”
You looked at him curiously, waiting for him to continue.
“Let's drive to the beach and would you skip a couple of classes early tomorrow morning for me, yes..?” he asked tenderly.
You nodded; but you were about to speak saying you hadn't even prepared so he interrupted you.
“I prepared everything for you in the car. Please take it, I spent hours looking for the perfect makeup and clothes. Let's go now.”
You got in the car, feeling again like your first fleeting and exciting encounters. All the way Minho held your hand, sometimes shifting his hand to your thigh, and finally arriving at his beach house, he sat on a chair and positioned you on his thighs, apologizing for everything he had said and done and harshly explained that… you make him feel in a unique way. You saw him so bad, almost about to cry…you never thought you had that effect on him.
“Don't be like that on your special day” you took his chin and gently repeated the same thing he told you when he was about to make you cry.
Minho smiled sideways, caressing your thighs and kissed you softly… he knew that maybe it was too soon to tell you I love you, so in the meantime he would make you feel his love as much as he can until he feels it's the right time to say it.
Minho squeezed your thighs and intensified the kiss, ready to show you how much he loved you, but the sudden movement of you standing up from his lap surprised him.
“You didn't bring something nice to assimilate you unwrap your gift?” you said playfully.
Minho laughed, of course he had, he wanted to make you his while you wore something nice for him; he stood up and searched through the suitcases he ordered packed for you, pulling out a nice black lingerie set decorated with bows. You didn't wait any longer and undressed in front of him, Minho bit his lip and helped you put on the lingerie giving you light touches like, rolling his hand down your pussy as he helped you put on your panties, squeezing your tits as he helped you put on the top, making you moan.
Minho stepped back a little and admired you.
“But what a beautiful gift” he moved closer to you and kissed you, “you shouldn't have…” he whispered against your lips.
Minho took you by the waist and lift you up to the stairs, to his room, you still didn't process that he had a beach house, the most normal thing in the world for him.
He started kissing you passionately, placing himself gently on top of you, he didn't stop kissing you for a moment, your lips, your jaw, your neck, while his left hand was having all the fun in the world playing with her pussy until it was well wet and lubricated. Minho pulled you up, he wanted to bury his face in your tits as he made you his, so he quickly removed his tight pants, running his hand down his length a little, you were ready to feel it, no matter how much it hurt, as your feelings for him. And he fucked you with your nice outfit on, holding you tightly around your waist making you fall heavily on his cock, taking it all, making you whimper with pleasure. Minho continued until he cummed and stained your beautiful garment.
You were panting non-stop, and no, the best part for you was not the orgasm, but the sweet caresses and words Minho was telling you after finishing sex… that's when you had an answer, it was hard for you to admit it and a little uncomfortable but, there was no doubt that you had fallen in love with him.
You came out of Minho, exhausted and a mess, a couple of minutes later pushing you over the edge; he still with his breath hitching, gently took your body and lay down next to you, putting his arm behind your head for support.
“Did you like it, princess?”
You nodded apologetically with your cheeks red.
“You were wonderful, I couldn't have had a better birthday present” he began to stroke your hair.
“Welcome to thirty” you told him amused.
“Can I be your boyfriend now? I'll treat you very well, princess.”
You were startled, you thought he would never say it, still you commented to him amused:
“Thirty affected your brain, you shouldn't mix birthdays with anniversaries. I do want to be your girlfriend, but let's celebrate the 26th, because when it's October 25th it will only be about you” you said enthusiastically, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.
--------------------
₊˚⊹ ᰔ TAGLIST: @stayceebs97 @linocz @kimseungminsprincess @xhazmania @strayzid @jisunglyricist
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forest-mankey · 2 months ago
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Has anyone else had the delicious sad thought that Alastor would be terrified to be like his father if he were to get in a relationship?
Alastor just, longing and wanting to be with and hold his darling, to be their protector and provider, to be there for them in a way his father never was for his mother.
But another part of him, a part that he tries to ignore and bury with all other meaningless weak feelings, is terrified he’ll devolve into a loveless monster that saw no problem or remorse in abusing his child and wife and the love she gave him. A monster that just takes from the one he’s supposed to love and care for.
I like to think it eats him up inside a little bit the closer he becomes with his darling, and given his proclivities, it just gives him another reason to fuel this fear of his and keep them at a distance. That the gentle touch he would try to give would become the harsh hand that rips their heart and body apart and make him no better then the scum he hunts.
“I am not a pig like him” he tries to tell himself, but he remembers his mother telling him that his father didn’t start out that way, that there was a time he was sweet and attentive but then it was like a switch flipped. What if Alastor has that same switch and it hasn’t been flipped yet. Yes he hunts the filth of the streets with no remorse, but Alastor never thought of that as a switch, it’s just who he is, who he was meant to be. What if he’s not in the right circumstances for it to flip? What if it’s lying there dormant, waiting for someone Alastor cared about to turn on?
He’s tried so hard to separate himself from the pile of shit his father was in almost every way he could (he’s not religious but he thanks whoever is above or below that his physical resemblance to his father is minimum) but what if this the way his father will manifest in him? To posses him to abuse the one he would love and cherish.
It fills him with agonizing dread at the thought of putting his darling through what he and his mother had to go through while his father was breathing. So he tries to just keep the relationship with his darling professional.
But it gets harder and harder the more time he spends with them, the more they share their thoughts, passions and dreams with him, like a precious secret they only trust him with, a secret that he’ll cherish forever. And when he tries to avoid physical contact with them, they seem to not care about this rule he has set for himself, they’ll wipe a crumb from his cheek, or brush the invisible lint from his jacket. Or one time, in a tired spout where Alastor’s cognitive functions were dulled by the constant fluttering of exhaustion in his body he failed to move when his dear darling began running their fingers through his tussled hair, brushing at a slow pace while humming a tune from his show, the whole experience was euphoric and so domestic in nature, it reminded him of when he was a child and his mother would do the same thing, running her hands through his hair and humming whatever tune she heard that day. It was a rare peaceful respite in Alastor’s dark and twisted life. He nearly fell asleep like that, he would’ve too if the voice didn’t bite him in the back of his mind “this is to much” “they’re to close” “they’ll suffer just like your mother did ” the sudden fear made him jolt up, startling his darling from their peaceful ministrations. He mumbled a quick apology and excuse to his jumpiness, but he could tell from the confused and concerned look they gave him that his mask slipped and they could see the fear in his eyes. And Alastor Hated that.
he keeps his distance for their sake, he’d leave them all together if he were a better man, but Alastor is selfish and he’ll continue to feed on the crumbs he gives himself to satisfy the desperate part of his black heart.
He’ll never hug them or participate in any unnecessary physical contact, but the kisses he leaves on their hand last far too long to be considered friendly.
He’ll never share anything other than short and deflective responses to questions about his life, but he’ll hang on to every word they say like the gospel, to even the most minuscule comment or detail.
But that’s all, just crumbs, it’s all he gets, it’s safer that way.
“It’s for the best” he tells himself whenever he sees them, he’s sparing them from the torment he fears he could put them through.
He’ll take and feed scraps of attention and affection and convince himself it’s for their well being.
But again Alastor is a selfish man that finds loopholes even in his own rules, so if he happens to get drunker then he intended too on a typical outing at Mimzy’s speakeasy and practically glues himself to you for the rest of the night, well it’s not his fault, sometimes even a man on a fast has to break the rules and take more then he should and besides it’s not like his sweet darling complains when he nuzzles his face into the crook of their neck and wrap his arms so tightly around them you think they’d disappear if he let go.
No they don’t complain, in fact they giggle and repeat their indiscretion on his sanity from before and run their gentle fingers through his hair, humming to whatever tune the band is playing, he’ll regret letting his emotions get the best of him in the morning, he’ll turn hot and cold in the morning, but that is not right now. Right now Alastor greedily steals a moment for himself, a moment where he can pretend that he can have what he so desperately wants to protect from filth, where he cannot worry if the seeds of his fathers vile actions have spread to Alastor and are just waiting to take root in an loving and unsuspecting victim.
No, for just a little while Alastor can pretend to have a relationship devoid of those fears and replace it with the sickly beating in his heart and flush on his face.
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harryspet · 11 months ago
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yours to tame (1) r. cameron
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[warnings] dark!alpha!rafe x reader, pogue!beta!reader, alpha!sarah x reader, werewolf au, a/b/o dynamics, ward is pack alpha, soulmate bond, forced marking, future NONCON/DUBCON READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+
A/N: new short series yayyy
In which the Moon Goddess cruelly picks Rafe Cameron to be your soulmate.
word count: 4.3k
main masterlist
You’d only come to this side of the island for two reasons: Sarah Cameron and your job at the country club. The rest of your time was spent with your friends in The Cut. The bars there had much better company. You dealt with Kooks enough, working as a beverage cart girl on the golf course. It was difficult for you to hold your tongue around them, that’s why you’d almost been fired twice, but luckily, your boss was a former Pogue who had a soft spot for you. 
The only way you’d entered the Alpha of Kildare’s house, Tannyhill, so far was through a window. Sarah hadn’t wanted to introduce you to her family yet, but today, he actually asked you to come to the front door. Her stepmom Rose answered the door, and Sarah introduced the two of you. Although Rose had a smile on her face throughout the short introduction, it was clear she disapproved of Sarah’s taste in friends. You met Wheezie too, who was much more welcoming. 
Although you were a Beta, you didn’t come from good stock. Your Dad became a Rogue not long after you were born, and your mother was always so depressed that you practically raised yourself. Although Sarah was an Alpha, her family saw her more as a bargaining chip to eventually be married off to the Alpha of another pack. Everyone assumed that her oldest brother would be the one to take over Kildare. 
Up in her room, Sarah quickly introduced you to her bed. You and Sarah were good friends ninety percent of the time when she and John B. were going strong, but the other ten percent when she and John B. were on the rocks, the two of you were much more than friends. Apparently, they’d gotten into a big fight last night, and, at first, you listened to her complain about how he hadn’t been making enough time for her lately.
“His deal is that he won’t invest more into us until we’re officially mated or whatever. But we’re so young, you know?”
“Sarah …what’s the real reason?”
She sighed, shaking her head, “It is because we’re young. I know we’re going to be together at the end of … all of this. But maybe I just don’t want to piss off my Dad just yet. He’d kick me out …”
“And then you’d be a full-on Pogue,” You finished for her, “I guess I get it. This house is insane.”
Sarah was needy, and oftentimes, she needed intense passion and adventure to feel loved. Once she finished venting, there was a change in her eyes as her mood shifted. From longing and sadness toward lust. 
You never liked Alphas, maybe that’s why you didn’t care about getting on John B’s bad side, but Sarah was different. She didn’t carry around a dark aura of corruption or force her will on others. She knew what she wanted all the time, and she was always willing to work to get it. 
You laid beside her, heads pressed against the pillows of her bed. She placed a hand on your waist and batted her long eyelashes at you. Slowly, her hands wandered underneath your t-shirt, “Would you want to sleep over?” She leaned closer, her voice soft, “I don’t think I want to be alone tonight.”
“Sure,” You answered as she leaned in to press her soft, full lips onto yours. The grip on your waist grew tighter as she pulled you closer. Although Sarah was an Alpha, she didn’t crave dominating you. You liked that she saw you as an equal. When she kissed you, she did it for both her pleasure and yours. 
She felt you up, massaging your breasts through your bra as the two of you made out. 
Hooking up with Sarah Cameron often involved a heavy makeout session followed by dry humping. Sarah liked to be on top because, you imagined, she liked the attention. She could work magic with her hips and wanted you to hold her waist as she did. You also had a perfect view of her from this angle. She pushed her dirty-blonde hair from her face, smirking down at you. 
“Have you ever been in heat, Y/N?” She asked. 
You thought about her question, “Not the typical kind, and it might happen once or twice a year.”
“What does it feel like?”
You frowned, “You feel weak like you don’t have control of your own body. And it makes me lack the ability to make good decisions. Remember when I hooked up with that Touron just because I thought his car was cool? Yeah, that was my heat.”
Sarah laughed, “I’m so glad you didn’t get knocked up.”
“You and me both,” you smiled at her. 
You stared at each other for a moment before Sarah leaned back down to kiss you. However, a pounding on the door interrupted you two. “Sarah! Sarah Cameron,” A deep voice sang from the other side of the door. As your heart jumped out of your chest, Sarah crawled off of you. She grabbed ahold of her shirt, trying to turn her shirt the right way around so she could put it on. 
You moved to fix your hair, but the door opened just as Sarah shouted, “Don’t come in!” 
“Sarah, why are there scratches on my truck?” The tall man narrowed his eyes on Sarah. His scent was strong, overpowering almost, and you felt a cloud of worry over you at the sight of him. You were distracted for a moment, the air had gone out of your lungs, but you remembered to fix the spaghetti straps on your top. 
“What are you talking about? I didn’t scratch your truck, Rafe!”
He rolled his eyes, “Oh yeah, why’d I find your damn bike right next to it. I told you to be careful, I don’t understand why you’re so hard-headed, you know? You’re going to pay to get it fixed.”
Sarah was the one rolling her eyes, “You’re insane if you think I’m doing that. I’m telling you, it wasn’t me.”
“And I’m supposed to believe you. All you do is lie, Sarah,” At the word lie his eyes finally landed on you, taking you in. Scenting you, no doubt, “This your friend? John B. know how many friends you have?”
“Screw you,” She hissed. 
You knew Rafe because everyone did. You knew what he was like mostly because of a girl you work with, an Omega named Sofia. He was like most Alphas, who preferred an Omega mate because they craved control, and he seemed like to type to pick someone purely based on how fertile they were. Sarah rarely talked about her own brother, and you were beginning to understand why. 
“I know you,” His eyes narrowed at you before he could place where he remembered you, “Cart girl.”
“Whiskey neat,” You responded, remembering what he always ordered. You also remembered he usually tipped well, even if he barely made eye contact with you. 
“Her name is Y/N.”
“You have some type of fetish for Pogues?” She scoffed, “You blow my mind, you really do.”
She lunged forward, pushing his chest, “Get out!” She commanded. He was clearly angry but wouldn’t challenge her further. He stepped back, turning on his heels, and she slammed the door as soon as he was in the hallway. 
“Ugh,” She groaned, her fists clenching, “I’m sorry, he’s . . . he’s rude and horrible.”
“I can see that,” You grabbed ahold of her hand as she climbed back on the bed. You attempted to calm her down, rubbing circles in her palm, “I’ve got thick skin, don’t worry.”
“You know you’re not just a hook-up, right?” Sarah looked at you, sincerity in her gaze. 
“Yeah,” You nodded, “Usually, for me, hooking up implies sex. We clearly haven’t done that.”
Her eyes darkened, and a mischievous smile grew on your face, “Oh, that’s my fault,” Sarah leaned in, “I didn’t want to scare you off, but …I wanna fuck that shit out of you, Y/N.”
“I’m all yours, Alpha,” You teased her, and that was the final straw before Sarah Cameron wrapped her arms around you and didn’t let you go for the entire night. 
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You arrived at the bonfire by the beach later than all your friends. You were trying to catch up with them, already on your third hard seltzer, and the buzz was quickly setting in. You were hesitant to go to a bonfire with both Kooks and Pogues invited, but so far, the night had been civil. There was a clear segregation, with a lot of the Kooks at the top of the beach by the dunes and a lot of the Pogues closer to the water. You were currently watching JJ and Pope wrestle each other in the sand. 
You bet 10 dollars on Pope winning while Kie was dead set on her boyfriend winning, “JJ has had like 8 beers. He literally becomes the Hulk when he’s shit-faced.”
“So? Pope is way smarter, though,” You retorted, “He’ll figure out a way to win.”
“You got me there,” You and Kie laughed together. 
Whenever you thought Pope might tap out, you screamed at him to keep going. It was an intense battle, but before the two of you knew it, Pope had kicked JJ’s feet from under him. JJ fell back into the shallow water, clearly hitting his head, “Shit,” You and Kie cursed simultaneously before you ran towards them. 
“You okay, JJ?” You kneeled down, looking down at his glazed-over eyes, “Did you pass out?”
Slowly, he shook his head, “Nah,” he groaned, “Pope just took the wind out of me.”
“You better not have a concussion,” Kie told him. 
After knowing JJ was fine, you cleared your throat, “No rush, of course, but I’ll be waiting for my ten bucks.”
“Yeah, whatever,” You heard Kie say, but you were already celebrating with Pope. 
As the rest of the night went on, you drank a little bit more than your normal limit. You were having the time of your life hanging out by the water and catching up with the people you hadn’t seen since graduation. 
You were standing by the fire, red solo cup in your hand, when you felt a hard tap on your shoulder, “Where’s Sarah?” A shrill voice asked, and you turned around to be met with the snarling face of a preppy, black-haired Kook. 
“What?” Your eyebrows furrowed. 
“Sarah Cameron?” She shrieked again, “Where is she? I know you know her, and I know she’s here!”
You looked around you, all of your friends now staring at you, “I know her, yeah, but you might have some vision problems because she’s clearly not here.”
You recognized the girl from the Glisson family, one of the most prominent families on the island. 
You moved to turn back towards the fire but the feral Kook was still yelling, “Fine, I need you to give her a message—”
Maybe it was the liquor but the sound of her voice was starting to make your blood boil. She was not respecting your personal space and she seemed entitled to your attention, “Do I look like her fucking assistant?”
“Y/N,” You heard Pope’s voice, “She’s plastered.”
You rolled your eyes at the warning. 
“Tell that bitch to stop running her mouth about me, especially to her brother. I am …I am not a whore. She’s the whore,” So this is what the Glisson girl was on about. Sarah had told Rafe she wasn’t the innocent virgin she claimed to be, “She’s the one with low standards, who fucks dirty Pogues, and pretends like she’s a good girl.”
You took a breath and stared back at the girl, “What did you say your name was?”
“Uh,” The girl was taken aback for a moment, “Madison Glisson, you can tell her the message was from me. And that she’ll be sorry when I am Luna of her pack.”
“Madison,” You smiled, “You got it. I’ll tell Sarah that you called her a dirty whore, and then I’ll tell her I beat your ass–”
As you tackled the girl to the ground, your friends began to shout your name in unison. Your drink spilled all over her, thankfully, and you quickly had the upper hand. Sand scratched you wrestled to hold her down. You’d already sniffed out that she was a Beta, and she was able to put up a fight once she got her bearings, but you were already whaling at her face, “You dumb bitch,” You shouted, “Who do you think you’re talking to, huh?” She screamed, trying to scratch and grab at your clothes. 
Your anger was partially because you felt protective of Sarah, but you also felt the girl had made a direct attack on your character and friends. You weren’t perfect, Sarah definitely wasn’t, but neither of you acted like you were. 
“Y/N, someone's going to call the cop!” You heard Kie shout. 
Hands grabbed your waist, and initially, you thought it might be Pope or JJ, but the touch sent heat over your skin. The person lifted you easily, and you thrashed in their arms until you felt a  sudden sense of calmness. As you were set down a few feet away from the fire, you locked eyes with Rafe Cameron. Your eyes grew impossibly wide, knowing that an Alpha’s touch should not feel like this, “You won, okay?” He said, lips parted and breathing heavily. His eyes were wide, too, looking down at you, “Wha …”
He pulled his hands from you, and that heat lingered on your waist. He stared at his ringed fingers, examining them, “W-What was that?” You finished, “Don’t …don’t touch me again.”
Rafe stood, backing away. With each step he took, there was an ache in your chest.
“Uh, Y/N, the cops are coming! We have to go!” You stumbled to your feet before you and your three friends ran in the opposite direction, away from Rafe Cameron. 
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Unfortunately, according to pack law, only Alphas can challenge other Alphas. Therefore, your case fell under the jurisdiction of Kildare County’s law enforcement. The Glisson’s pressed charges, of course, and you were facing a simple battery charge. The worst part was that they caught you on Friday night, which meant you had to spend the entire weekend in jail. You weren’t expecting anyone to put up any money for your bail, but it was just another shitty layer to your problem. 
You weren’t looking forward to groveling and begging for your job back. You also knew word would get around and that the Kooks would gossip about your drunken mistake. 
On Monday, you were surprised someone covered the entirety of your three-thousand-dollar bond. When you walked out of the jail in your dirty beach clothes, Rafe Cameron was certainly the last person you expected to see waiting for you.  He usually expressed only indifference towards you, but he almost seemed…concerned, “Sarah sent you?” You asked immediately. 
He shook his head, “Uh, no, I’m here for you,” He was backed against his large truck, his arms crossed in defense, “Because you did something so stupid."
“Excuse me?” You raised an eyebrow, “Whatever, I don’t want to know, goodbye.”
Swiftly, faster than you could comprehend, he grabbed your wrist. You yelped, quickly pulling your hand away. You remembered that electric feeling from the night on the beach, “I told you not to touch me,” You rushed out. 
“Get in the car, I can explain, Y/N.”
“No!”
“Listen, I feel it too,” He said, which made you pause, “If you get in the car, I can explain what’s going on.”
“Sarah didn’t send you?”
“No one knows you’re out except me. And I haven’t seen her; she’s probably scheming with the other Pogues to raise your bail money.”
You rubbed your temples, “I need to call them.”
You realized then that you must’ve lost your phone during the fight. By now, if no one stole it, your phone had gone out with the tide. 
“You can use my phone if you get in,” He offered. 
“If you try anything–” Rafe was already opening up the passenger side door. 
“Get in,” With a deep sigh, you climbed inside of his truck. 
This was a bad idea, although you were on a roll when it came to making bad decisions. Besides, you were curious about this sudden connection you and Rafe were experiencing. It was nothing good, that you were sure of, but you needed to figure out how to stop it. 
You were also sure he was working some Alpha voodoo on you. Rafe’s scent fully enveloped you inside the car, giving you that similar soothing feeling. When you tried to raise your defenses, to hone your heightened senses, you failed. You could barely concentrate on anything other than his smell. 
“Phone?” You asked after the truck pulled off. 
Although he seemed annoyed, Rafe pulled out his expensive phone, and typed in the password for you. Despite the fact that Sarah was confused as to why you were calling from her asshole brother’s phone, she was relieved to hear your voice. She and John B. had just entered a pawn shop, trying to sell some of her jewelry in order to raise money. You assure her that you’re okay and that Rafe is going to drop you at your house. 
You didn’t let her interrogate you for long because you had some interrogating to do yourself.
“Go ahead, explain yourself,” You said. 
“I’ve been, uh, questioning myself. You know, asking myself what kind of pack leader I’m going to be. How I’m going to live up to my Dad’s expectations and, uh, everything is becoming a lot clearer to me,” You stared with furrowed eyes, “Anyways, whatever, I realized, after I touched you that night on the beach, that we’re mates. True mates.”
“True mates …” You were already shaking your head, “What does that even mean?”
“Soulmates, Y/N!” Rafe gripped the wheel tightly, “Like hand-picked by the moon goddess kind of mates.”
“You and me?” You laughed. 
“I’m not lying,” Rafe grabbed ahold of your hand roughly. Your breathing quickened, and your eyes locked with his. Every muscle in your body was telling you to focus on him, to look at him and let him gaze upon you. 
“We’ll break the bond then,” You spoke through gritted teeth. 
Rafe let go of you, focusing his eyes back on the road, “That would be … extremely painful. For the both of us.” 
“I’m sure you would rather mate with someone else. Madison Glisson, for instance, remember her?”
“You do realize I just bailed you out of jail after you broke her nose, don’t you?” Rafe asked, “I’ve never been interested in her.”
“What about an Omega? Wouldn’t you rather have someone who’s going to listen and obey?”
“Betas are still ranked underneath Alphas. You’re supposed to listen and obey too–”
You scoffed, “I’m not that kind of Beta. See, it just doesn’t work.”
“I won’t reject you, Y/N, and you won't reject me either,” Your lips parted to respond, but you stared for a moment, dumbfounded, “Everything you had with my sister, or with anyone else, is over.”
“Rafe–”
“The Moon Goddess is offering you a great opportunity. A chance for a better life. Do…Do you have any idea what I could give you?” His voice grew deeper and darker. You should’ve known his nice guy routine was all an act to trap you here, “Huh?”
“I don’t want it.”
The car came to an abrupt stop as Rafe slammed on the brakes, pulling over into the dirt. The road was quiet but inside of Rafe’s car was far from that, “It’s Sarah. She’s got her little claws into you, yeah?”
“No, Rafe-”
“Yeah, I see what’s happening here,” Rafe nodded, “The way Sarah lives her life, toying with John B., messing with you, it’s not right. That’s no way to be a real leader.”
“She’s my friend,” You say, although you feel your voice growing smaller, Rafe’s presence taking over yours, “And I trust her more than I’d ever trust you.” 
“Do you think she’ll be loyal to you once she knows about us?” Rafe smiled, although you knew he wasn’t happy at all, and his eyes began to water. There was nothing else you could say to him; you knew that, and it was clear he was expecting a different reaction from you. He wanted you to fawn over him, to see how he’d taken care of you, and he wanted you to say thank you. He wanted an Omega which you’d never be. 
“Us? There will never be an us,” You sealed your fate with those words, grabbing the passenger door handle and practically falling out of Rafe’s truck. 
“Hey!” He shouted, trying to grab at you. 
Without another thought, you ran straight into the tree line. Despite the fact that you were running, you felt yourself breathe much easier, and your thoughts began to clear. That was the mate bond that you were feeling? You couldn’t imagine the Moon Goddess being so cruel to you. 
You ran from him, ignoring how right your name sounded on his lips. As he gained on you, your wolf took over. You were an experienced shifter, and you felt no pain as your bones molded and shifted. Your clothes tore from your body as you felt your speed increase. You glanced behind you to see how far he was behind you, but you saw a towering black figure with glowing red eyes. 
Angry with us, your wolf said; he’s angry with us. 
Slow down, this was Rafe’s voice now echoing in your head. He shouldn’t be able to get in your head like this. He wasn’t your Alpha, and you never accepted the bond. At a certain point, it didn’t matter how fast you were, as Rafe’s wolf was naturally stronger than yours. You still put up a fight, ignoring your wolf, as you and Rafe suddenly collided. You rolled through the forest underbrush, fighting for control, until Rafe finally landed on top of you. You did what you could to get him to let you go, biting at whatever you could. 
Shift, he tried to command you with his Alpha tone. You kept biting at him, which released an angry growl from his large form. Shift now, he tried again. Almost out of control, your wolf began to whimper. She hated that you were resisting him, rejecting him, and she began to punish you. You cried out as you were forced to shift, feeling every breaking bone and retracted claw or fang. 
You were weaker than you’d ever felt, lying naked on the forest floor. It felt like the first time you had shifted when transforming had left you bruised and bedridden for days. You breathed heavily, staring up at the Alpha before you. Rafe shifted easily, a muscular figure replacing black fur, sparkling blue eyes replacing red ones. 
“Please. Stop.”
“This is her will. Who am I to deny her?” Rafe grabbed your chin, turning your head to its side before sharp canines elongated from his mouth. Your shift had left you paralyzed, and you only could scream as Rafe sunk his teeth into your shoulder. 
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You and Sarah had many conversations about mate marks. John B. had almost bit Sarah in the middle of sex. It scared her so much she didn’t hook up with him for two months, although he was entirely apologetic. Alpha mates marked each other out of respect for their bond, and Alphas often marked Omegas to exhibit their claim. You knew immediately what Rafe had done wasn’t out of love or respect. He felt you slipping away and took the opportunity to try to control you. 
Now, every wolf on the island would be able to sense Rafe in your own scent. They’d know you were claimed by, out of all people, the Alpha of Kildare’s son. 
Rafe carried your naked figure back to his car; blood smeared over your skin before he finally drove you home. You were in and out of consciousness at that point, but you remembered hearing your mother’s panicked voice and Rafe placing you on the twin sized bed in your small room. 
The next time you came to, both Sarah and your mother were in your room. Sarah stood by the door, her arms crossed tightly, and your mother was sitting on the bed beside you, “He just left her like this,” You heard Sarah say, venom in her tone, “I didn’t …I didn’t ever think he would do something like this.”
“He better make an honest woman out of her,” Your mother said, and you felt her grab ahold of your hand, “Alpha Ward will recognize their bond, won’t he?”
“He won’t be happy about this,” Sarah shook her head, “But he doesn’t ever reprimand Rafe in the way he should. Whatever Rafe wants, he’ll go along with it.”
“And what do you think he wants?”
“To hurt me,” Sarah answered, “I’m sorry about all this. I should go. She needs more rest.”
You turned your head, wincing, “Sarah,” You called out to her, but she was already slipping out the door. 
“It’s okay, she’ll be back,” Your mother said, although you knew deep in your chest that everything was going to change now, “And Rafe, he told me that he would come back once you healed. He thought you might feel better faster if you were home with your family.”
As far as you were concerned, Sarah and the other pogues were closer to your family than the woman next to you would be, “You realize what he did to me…don’t you?”
“He chose you,” Your mother sounded almost cheerful, “And he’s going to be a very powerful man on this island. He’ll take care of you and me. Like your father never could …”
You turned your head to look at the ceiling, deciding then you’d use whatever energy you had left to be far from here whenever Rafe decided to “come back”. Even if your wolf hated you forever because of it.
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Let me know your thoughts and predictions! Those who reblog with their thoughts will be added to the taglist!
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norrizzandpia · 7 months ago
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hey, totally ok if it’s not ur vibe, but i’d love to see an oscar fic where he’s helping his girlfriend or a childhood best friend when she’s feeling a bit down.
i keep thinking about that man helping clean a depression room and telling his girl not to be embarrassed and he’s there to help and they get it sorted and he just holds her. makes sure she’s eaten and drank something.
even if it’s just a drabble, i’d really appreciate it :) need that kinda care in my life rn, even if it’s fictional.
I made this girlfriend because it just felt softer idk
To Be Loved Is To Be Seen (OP81)
Summary: Oscar knows his girlfriend well and it’s obvious to him when she starts breaking down. He’s happy to help or, more specifically, remind her how worth it she is.
Warnings: this one is HEAVY on the family trouble, depression, anxiety, VERY ANGSTY but def cutest HAPPY ENDING
Note: i didn’t know if you wanted reader to be in a rut or have a reason for it so i just made a reason
Y/n’s first few months of university were hard. Not only was it due to the new course load, but also because of her parents lack of interest when it came to her life. It had been a gradual shift, starting from her last two years in high school and only getting stronger as time went on. They had always been there, overbearing at times, but, now, they posted pictures of their trips around the world, failing to answer her calls and texts. She felt selfish for wanting her parents’ attention as much as she did, but it was hard to fight. There were situations she had never dealt with before, she wanted her mom’s wise words and father’s funny remarks to get through it all. But, she sat alone in the darkness of her room without the guidance counselor she usually could count on. It felt as if she wasn’t enough to keep them there anymore. It was heart wrenching and it stewed within her at such volumes, it became too much.
That’s when Oscar noticed. Her boyfriend had always been attentive, noticing small things about her that no one else did, but the second her smile didn’t reach her eyes and her text messages became less frequent, it was almost as if he was staring her down in anticipation of some sort of sign. He didn’t begin to realize it was related to her parents until he caught a glimpse of her phone when they were together, the screen open to her conversations with her mother and all of the recent texts going completely unanswered. He knew she had always had a rocky relationship with them, but she spoke about them with such respect, he knew it would’ve bothered her to feel so unimportant.
Knocking on her door, his hands clutched the bag of her favorite food he had got on his walk to her apartment. He had planned this evening out for weeks, not telling her about it in worry that she would slip into a facade put together with a fake smile that made his skin crawl.
She opened it, her body tense and tired in a ratty shirt and shorts, “Oscar? What are you doing here?”
It was as if he saw her front go up, her posture straightening and that haunting smile which told him all too well how much pain she was in. He smiled softly, “I thought we could spend the night together.”
She closed the door enough to only peek her head through, “Osc, I’m so sorry, but I can’t tonight. I’m so busy.”
He stayed put, “That’s okay. I can wait on your couch.”
“No, Osc,” She said firmly, her face turning in the light and exposing the dark bags under her eyes.
He stepped closer to her, putting his hand on the door and looking down at her with a look that made her feel loved, “Y/n, let me in. I know you’re going through it. Let me be with you.”
Her resolve cracked, her smile dropping for a second and water suddenly pooling in her eyes, “You don’t want to come in here.”
He leaned against the door and cupped her cheek, “It won’t make me love you any less.”
With a sigh, Y/n pushed the door open, beckoning the boy into her home. He knew what to expect, he knew what it was like to reach the place she was in. So, when he saw the piles of clothes, half-eaten food on the counter with old dishes in the sink, and her little accessories put in the wrong places, something she would never usually do, he wasn’t surprised. If anything, he was happy she had let him in, literally and figuratively.
She picked at her nails beside him, swaying on her feet as she analyzed his every move. Part of her was trying to ready herself for him to walk out the door, give up on her because of whatever stood before them, but he gently set the food on the floor and ushered her into his embrace. His cheek laid against the top of her head, nestled in her hair, as he tightened his grip around her body. She smelled his cologne and felt his sweatshirt which made him feel all the more warm. There was something about his presence, she would later learn it was how safe she felt, that made the turmoils of her mind quiet as she began to cry. Y/n had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry for people who clearly didn’t care, but as Oscar rubbed her back and whispered how much he loved her, she realized it was never going to work.
Her breaking down wet the material of his sweatshirt, but Oscar just held her tighter, whispering how it was going to be okay and this would all pass.
“You’re so worth it all, Y/n,” He whispered, pecking the top of her ear as he smoothed down her hair.
She clutched his back before Oscar was moving her hands under his hoodie to feel the bare of his skin. He knew she loved that. And she did. Y/n’s tears began to dissipate as he told her why he was there.
“I’m with you in this. You aren’t alone. I’m here for you and I always will be. This,” He gestured to the space around them, holding her face in his hands and forcing her eyes to meet his, “doesn’t scare me at all, love. What does scare me, though, is the attempts at eating on the counter. Have you been eating other than that?”
She shook her head, “I tried. It’s too hard. I’m not hungry ever anymore.”
He titled his head with a small frown, “Well, maybe your favorite food will help, yeah? We’ll sit together and eat. We can go as slow as you want, or as fast. All up to you, baby.”
He kissed her forehead lightly before guiding her to the living room, one of the less dirty places, and setting her down on the cushions. He set it all behind him, not wanting to overwhelm her with everything he got, and took out what he knew she would want first. There was a dull sparkle in her eyes when he handed it to her, his heart lifted. It hadn’t been there when he first arrived.
She opened it slowly, eyeing the food she once ravished in seconds, and taking a utensil to pick at it. He looked at her, waiting patiently for her to take a bite. When she did, however small, he did too. When she did again, he did too.
She stopped, “Why aren’t you eating faster?”
He smiled, “Because I’ll take a bite when you do. I don’t mind, Y/n. I told you I’m in this with you.”
Her eyes gloss over as they dart between him and the food before taking another bite, giggling a bit when Oscar takes one of his own dish. She eats, he does too and their eyes never leave each other, offering unspoken support.
When the plastic boxes are gone and empty, Oscar has glasses of water randomly appearing in his grip, offering them to his girlfriend who has found herself tangled in that soft blanket he got her last Christmas. Her cheeks are a soft pink from the warmth of it coupled with the candle he lit in the midst of their dinner and she smiles when the cool liquid flows down her throat. Oscar stands over her, hands in his pockets and wondering how anyone could possibly ignore her texts. He wants to take a picture of her, remind her parents of the beauty they have in their reach. But, he also knows that any text he sends to them wouldn’t be one he should send to his potential (very likely) in-laws. So, he stays quiet and looks at her with the love she deserves.
“Do you need anything else?” He asks, pushing the hair out of her face.
She shakes her head, “No, I’m good. What movie do you want to watch?”
He kisses her cheek, “It’s up to you. I won’t be watching.”
Her eyebrows knot together and she cocks her head, “Why not? Is this some random pickup line where you’re going to tell me how you’ll only be watching me?”
He laughs, his head back, as he walks toward her room, “No, but that’s a good one. I’ll keep that for later. You put on whatever you want, baby. I’ll be cleaning.”
She crawls to the corner of the couch, watching him begin to pick up her room, “Clean? What? Why?”
He stops, turning around to look at her through the door, “Because I want to help you feel better and I know your apartment is stressing you out. You shouldn’t have to worry, love. Just relax. I’ll be done in a few hours.”
Her mouth is agape as he moves throughout her room, putting things away as if he knows where everything goes. He does, apparently. And when the shock of it wears off, a smile cements itself on her face as she turns on a random movie. She enjoys the soft humming of Oscar in the other room, answering his occasional question about the plot of the movie she’s watching. When he moves to the kitchen, out in the open and available to see what’s on the screen, Y/n falls asleep to the picture of her boyfriend doing her dishes and taking out her trash. Falling asleep with a warm heart mended by someone that has always loved her unconditionally.
She’s awoken by the feeling of soft mattress beneath her and Oscar’s arms heavy around her torso. He’s deep in sleep when she opens her eyes, has her completely enveloped in his grasp on her side. The room is dark, the window open and allowing for a cold breeze to flow through the room. She loves it. It’s cold outside, but Oscar keeps her warm. Her hands move their way up to his head, playing with his hair and staring at the man who has treated her so gently.
Tears fall down her face all so suddenly, sniffling lightly but still waking Oscar in the process.
He’s immediately worried, “What’s wrong?”
Her head drops to his chest, “I just love you so much and can’t tell you how much it meant to me that you stayed here even after seeing the state everything was in, including me.”
His soft hands leave her body and pull her face up to him. His eyes are dilated as he looks at her, “I would’ve done it yesterday and I’ll do it for the rest of our lives. I don’t want you to struggle alone. You don’t deserve that. You’ve done too much of that before you met me.”
If only her younger self could see her now. A younger girl worried she’d never find a man who loved her by seeing her now wholly adored by someone who didn’t just see her, but understood her too. She doesn’t even need to utter the problem, he already knows and she’s caught on to that since the moment he showed up at her door. His carefully chosen words about her worth and how easy it is to love her were all strategically placed in order to fix the cracks deep in her soul that have come undone at the hands of her parents.
“It’s just upsetting that they only loved me.” She whispers and for a second, Oscar doesn’t understand what she’s saying. But, the tense of her words dawns on him and the look on her face unleashes anger in his body. Loved. It’s upsetting that her parents loved her. They no longer do in her eyes. She once had parental support, love, but it’s obvious how transactional, conditional it was now. She got a taste of what it was like to be loved by them, but it was taken away when she needed it the most. She had mentioned to him before that growing up, she felt as if they used her presence to shy away from the problems of their marriage. When she was out of the house, she thought they would separate, but the opposite has happened. She served her purpose, now they throw money at trips to fill the void of what they have refused to face. Disregarded and thrown away, that’s the implications of what she’s confided.
He nods, tears in his eyes, “It’s so unfair of them to treat you this way. They’re your parents. They should be there for you, but they have never known how to love and you were just an unnecessary victim in it all.”
She wipes the moisture from her face, “I should just move on from the way they’ve treated me. I should give them grace because they’re my parents. I should just make peace with it all because this will never be fixed in the way I want it. But, I can’t.”
Oscar kisses the top of her head, “It’s okay that you can’t. That’s completely understandable. Giving grace just because they’re your family members isn’t right, Y/n. Just because there’s a blood relation doesn’t mean you can excuse their behavior. They’re your parents and they have neglected you for ages. You can’t keep giving everything to them, only to get nothing in return. Parents or not, you distance yourself from people who bring you down as much as they do.”
More tears smear against his chest, “But, they’re my parents, Osc.”
It’s as if he doesn’t know what to say because he knows how much she praises their drive and determination, giving her a life of privilege. Though, he stands firm on the idea that no one should be given a second chance if they “love” this way.
“I know, Y/n, and it’s so horrible that you’ve been put in this situation, but I think it would do you some good to let go of a part of them. You’ll go home and see them for birthdays, Christmases, but, in the time between, you don’t have to chase after them. You can find love in other things, happiness in other things. I’ll even do some of it with you. We can take up painting classes like you always wanted, walks in that park down the street that you love, studying in coffee shops, and watching the sunset. Life without them can be freeing.”
He’s right, she thinks. Life without them will be freeing. But, the story of letting go is never easy and finding yourself flipping to past chapters to hold onto something that isn’t there anymore is usual.
However, as she lays tangled in the limbs of Oscar, she finds future chapters to be more exciting, more fulfilling. Her whole life is ahead of her, one including Oscar, and that sudden revelation fills her with an overwhelming relief. His listing of all the things she loves, wants to try desperately reminds her just how in love with her he is. Every action of hers is noted by him and she’s spent years begging for that from her parents. She never got it, but maybe that was because something else softer lied in the cards for her. At times, her parents needed her, but they would always need something else more. Glamorous, shiny, new things that would satisfy them for a time. She would never be enough in the minds of them, but in the mind of Oscar, she was more than enough. It was clear she was everything to him.
A life with him would be different from the one handed to her on a broken, rusty platter. She wanted that with him and the way he looked at her told her he did too. Letting go of the dismissal of people she has killed herself for to make proud was maybe for the best, pushed her in the direction of focusing on Oscar and everything she’s ever wanted. Was this her mending old, deep wounds?
Loved and cherished, she found sleep once more, rejuvenated with hope and a sense of moving on.
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wintersera · 1 year ago
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sick and twisted || stepsibling g!p winrina x virgin!freader
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notes: making a comeback. sorry anon for the long ass delay, but i also merged it with another ask bc i thought it would work well together. do NAWT ask why i took so long- i was going thru it 😭😭
cw: porn with plot, stepcest/pseudo incest, noncon -> dubcon, g!p dom winrina, virgin!reader, corruption, use of cuffs, oral (giving), blackmail, biting/marking, creampie, gagging, degredation, slapping, family issues, arguments, mentions of divorce.
wc 3.9k
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if you told jimin and minjeong that they would have another step-sibling in their life they would scoff at you, then laugh and say that’s not possible… then scoff in your face again.
yet here they were moving into another house their father bought for you and your mother.
isn’t that fun?
jimin, the actual biological child, was born and raised with a hot headed mother and poor excuse of a father. living with the two was hell for her, dealing with her mothers bull shittery almost every damn day.. and the absence of her father always led to her mother lashing out at her and never him. longer down the line of their shitty marriage, the father decided to pull the trigger and divorce her for good. maybe it was money issues? maybe it was something else? jimin didnt like to pry and she was glad she left it like that.
minjeong was the child of a broke, whorish and shitty woman. the marriage between jimin's father and minjeong’s mother actually lasted quite a while… to their surprise. who knew another horrid woman in this rich fuck of a man’s life would actually do some good to the both of them.
they ended up acting like they knew each other from day one- like i kid you not, they were inseparable. even after the divorce of their father and mother they still stayed together, obviously choosing their dad because god that man was rich as hell and they knew that they could use some privilege from it. not only that, but for some reason their dad loosened up a little, he actually became a much better person and worked on his self improvement, unlike minjeong’s mother who stayed a cheating BITCH … no wonder why their father divorced her sorry ass.
but beside the point. jimin, minjeong and their father arrived at the new mansion. somewhere secluded and somewhere breathtaking- only because your step father really thought your mother was the one and only woman for him.
jiminjeong, without prior notice to their fathers new found wife, and no knowledge of the womans daughter, were left shocked when they saw the two of you enter through the mansion’s doors.
your first impressions weren’t good at all… your mother looked and acted like- guess what?!! a bitch… and you? you seemed pretty decent at first, so jimin and minjeong didn’t really care. yeah, unfortunately they didn’t click with you, but they thought that they should give it some time. you were unfamiliar with the new environment and they knew it would cause crazy anxiety.
a couple months into the family and you and your mother finally started to act comfortably around the rest. it didn’t take long for you mother to start acting up though- frankly she opened up too much, as in, she started to become more and more of an asshole as the months went by. at first it started as simple requests from your step father. she would go around the house demanding him to buy this and that. her ego grew… and when i say grew, it inflated actually. nothing could stop her from being a prick, and unfortunately she influenced you to act like the same way.
she had a plan- she really didn’t love your step father. instead she was really just into it for the money. and of course, you knew that plan from the beginning. as much as you didn’t like your mother, the plan wasn’t half bad- deciding to stay with her was the right choice, well you thought so anyways. anything for money i guess.
the workload he had stressed your step father out so much and your mothers constant requests for money really didn’t help. berating him almost every day, sometimes she would go so far to the point of him having to lock himself in his office just so he could avoid her.
only 6 months of living together and she’s already driving him crazy? jimin and minjeong looked at each other in disbelief, surely you wouldn’t join in on the disruptive behaviour… right?
oh they were so wrong.
YOU-
you wanted the plan to go well too… you needed that cash. fuck your mother and everything, that cash meant more than your strained bond. you wanted it for yourself, so now it was your turn to fuck around and be a dick head.
doing everything in your power to get money from your step father, like your mother did. it started out all simple and sweet.. you know like casually asking for allowance, and since he was rich as fuck, allowance was usually something around 2k per ask. racking up the money somewhere in your room for yourself, you didn’t realise jimin and minjeong were staring at you through the crack of the door.
jimin carefully lowered herself to minjeong’s height, making sure you wouldn’t be able to hear an utter from her. whispering in her ear “what a waste… she’s pretty but she’s a money stealing prick”
somehow minjeong was calm about it, thinking you were just stashing it up because she knew you were previously broke. she’s been in that same situation, showing some sort of empathy towards you “i mean.. she hasn’t done any bad yet… well i hope she never does actually. i hope she’s not like her mom”
jimin scoffs “i doubt that”
the sound of something dropping on the floor caught their attention, you’d dropped a bag of some sort. their hearts beating out of their chests thinking that you had caught them watching you. thankfully you didn’t, uttering under a few curses under your breath and nothing else. sighing in relief, they had back to their respective rooms and called it a day.
that was until they heard you shouting downstairs after a couple of hours.
“fuck you mean you can’t give me any more money. aren’t you supposed to be my dad? you know, someone who cares for their children and shit”
jimin woke up first, creeping into minjeongs room and shaking her awake “…mmm… huh? what’s up”
“don’t be surprised, but i think y/n is arguing with our dad… told you she was like her mom”
sneaking their way downstairs, tiptoeing so they wouldn’t be heard. they notice their dad hunched over in the couch, his hands covering his face in.. anger? or sadness. they couldn’t tell.
“GOD- fuck you’re such a shit step dad… you know what fuck you” the step father being on the verge of tears, the way he balled up his fists, the way his face was red hot and the way he was biting down hard on his lip, you knew it was was working and you knew you were such a shit person for it, you were growing heated too- for some reason. mothers genetics you could say.
“you couldn’t keep your first wife, and you couldn’t keep your second wife?! and now you’re going to lose your third all because you can’t provide for your family like the good man you are.” you laughed in his face and clicked your tongue “ahhh it all makes sense now. you're a miserable excuse of a father and a poor excuse of a husband. you’re rich as hell i dont know why you can’t give me anymore money…”
“i-i.. i’m trying my best you know y/n” voice cracking “i’m doing my best to keep the family together… i just want us to be happy”
“yeah well you’re not doing a good job now are you? hell, you’re also a shitty example of a man too. go ahead and write those divorce papers. i’m sick of your shit”
with that, you walked back upstairs, jimin and minjeong running back up trying not to get caught.
you’d struck a nerve in them, witnessing you berate their dad knowing that he’s a changed man, made them vexed. jimin had been peering at your face, an obvious crease in her forehead and in between her brows made it obvious that she was planning something sick. minjeong had a cold and blank scowl.
they both gave each other knowing looks, a smirk on both of their faces… whatever they had in mind was not morally right, but they couldn’t care less.
sleeping soundly after the whole argument, glad that you could possibly get something out of it by the time you woke up, you failed to hear the sound of your lock being picked open.
jimin creeped towards your bed, gritting her teeth as she tried her very best not to punch you in the face. utter disgust was the one thing she was feeling, looking at you made her grimace. she found you pretty at first glance but after she witnessed you tear down her dad, her vision was shattered. even if she wanted to beat you up, she couldn’t, she wanted to defile you first. with shaky hands, she lifted the thick bed sheets off of your body, carefully stripped you out of your clothes and gazed at your naked body. she lightly slapped her cheek, you looked good bare but she didn’t let that take over her… yet.
she hooked your wrist onto the bed frame. the cold icy feeling of the cuffs latching onto your left wrist made you stir in your sleep, yet it wasn’t enough to wake you up from your deep slumber.
minjeong had the job of writing on you. depriving your humanity by writing objectifying words on your bare stomach. words such as ‘slut’, ‘filthy whore’, ‘gold digger’, were written across your stomach, thighs and legs. if it wasn’t humiliating enough, she took pics just for safe measures. it was horrible, yes she knew that.
she thought how genius it would be to draw an arrow on your lower abdomen pointing down towards your pussy, the words above saying ‘use here’. giggling to herself as she snapped another pic.
the flash from minjeong’s camera startled you. waking up grumpily asking “what the fuck is going on” as you tug on your arm, only to realise that you’ve chained to the bed.
first thing you noticed was minjeong’s camera pointing towards you, bright flash blinding your eyes “fuck- shit, this isn’t funny. turn the camera off” the chains on the cuff rattling as you attempt to pry them off “guys… this isn’t funny… take it off”
second thing you realised was the lack of clothing. the chilly air hit your body, goosebumps forming on your skin. the warmth of the blanket was no more and the intense humiliation began to seep into your body.
thirdly, the writing on your stomach and legs as you look down analysing the situation.
“you shouldn’t have said that earlier. the disrespect you have… yu y/n you’re disgusting” jimin spat at you, her gaze turned towards minjeong who then nodded. afraid that they would kill you right on the spot, automatically you started to sob out pathetic pleas
“listen, shit- i’m sorry. i was desperate okay… he should’ve given me the money anyway- cut me some slack, it was only a one time thing. you know, me and my mom rea-“
a hand flew to your face “shut the fuck up” she left a red stinging mark on your cheek- well deserved. minjeong gritted her teeth, she didn’t want her dad to wake up to another argument yet alone waking up to his two kids fight his other kid “this picture i took.. do you want this to be uploaded everywhere?” rapidly shaking your head in denial. the image in question was so vulgar, your legs being spread apart while the words ‘use here’ were pointing right at your pussy, it was truly horrible. minjeongs lips tugged upwards, biting back a snicker only because she wanted to seem serious and mean about this- oh and also because the image violently turned her on.
“n-no… delete the pic- please i’ll give the money back and apologise… just.. don’t upload it anywhere” hiccuping while hot tears streamed down to your chin.
“poor you” jimin added on “no one can help you now.. do as you’re told” her tone was sickening to hear.
it clicked and you felt disgusted, the knowing look that they had.. body language showing that they were about to ravish you. it was gross.
your tear stained face shifted into a dreaded look. feeling jittery, your eyes widened as both of them slid down their boxers, revealing their cocks that sprung up.
“…you guys are sick…” there’s no way in hell that they were about to do this. but here they were, approaching you as you attempt to free your wrist from the cuffs again “get away f-from me… you sick fuckers” minjeong sprang onto the bed first, holding your legs open as you try to kick away from her grasp. curses and shouts left your mouth, but they were useless since jimin wrapped her hand around it.
there was no use in fighting back. you gave into their heinous acts even if your body was rejecting them. no one was there to help you anyway. even if you called for your mother, she wouldn’t give a shit since she only cared for herself from the very beginning.
jimin, who stood beside you, pressed her cock against your face. you could feel her throbbing as she placed it on your cheek, the hard thing felt slimy and gross- you denied her as she tried to forcefully shove it in your mouth, which ended up with her slapping it around your face like you were some common whore “open up, unless you want those pics of you online” of course you didn’t want that- those posts would ruin your reputation, your self esteem. it would ruin you.
mentally screaming in your head, you open your mouth wide, feeling her thick cock enter your mouth slowly. jimin let out a long sigh, savouring the feeling of your tongue at the base of her cock- “a-ah.. you’re taking me whole? you slut” moaning out as she steadily rocks her hips back and forth “you should- mm fuck.. really use this m-mouth just to take dick, don’t you agree jeongie”
minjeong, who was stroking her dick in between your legs, nodded her head. fixated on the way you took jimin’s throbbing cock easily down your throat. she watched you with keen eyes, keeping her gaze on the way your lips parted and wrapped around her shaft while also listening to the gagging sounds you made everytime jimin hit the back of your throat.
having more of a moral compass in comparison to jimin, she felt a little bad for you- but couldn’t help getting off to the view in front of her. she grinned, a very fucked up grin you could say. grabbing her phone again, she pressed record without you noticing- being so caught up with having dick stuffed in your mouth. spreading your lips apart, pointing the cameras and zooming in on your soaked pussy “you really are a whore- getting wet from this.. you should’ve said you wanted this from the beginning y/n. or were you too much of a coward to ask” slapping your pussy repeatedly, earning a few muffled moans.
putting the phone down minjeong slipped her hard cock inside of you, skipping the condom and everything.
your pussy was tight, almost like a virgins… wait- “god, don’t tell me you’re a… you’re a virgin?” a sick and twisted smile crept upon both jimins and minjeongs face. and the way they got harder hearing that news further implicated that they were morally fucked up in the head “mmm… fuck, you’re so tight that i can barely move… y/n ah- ngh..” by trying to push her dick further into you, it caused you to scream out in pain and pleasure- the sensation of her throbbing cock filling up your virgin pussy felt alien, yet so good. thankfully you were soaking wet, and the precum slathered around minjeongs dick helped it slide in much easier than it should have.
“nmghh hurts… hurts-” you manage to say between breaths, voice muffled by jimin's cock still being pumped in and out of your throat. minjeong couldn’t care, extracting her anger out on your pussy, stretching it wide open for her own sick pleasure. she scoffed,
“not so talkative now, are you?” she mocks, her hands gripping the sides of your hips, nails digging into your flesh as she jolts her hips which caused her tip to ram into the entrance of your cervix. fuck.. and it hurt like hell. never being filled up by something so large, your eyes begin to roll back, and you begin to scream around jimin's cock.
both of them showed absolutely no mercy, using your body as if it was a toy for their pleasure. being used in such a way made you feel heated, your stomach tightening as they continue to force themselves into your holes.
minjeong moaned out, her nails digging deeper and deeper into your flesh, almost breaking it. your tight cunt clamping down so hard on her cock threw her into a frenzy- she observes your face with hearts in her eyes, she never felt this powerful before, god… even her movements sped up- there was a husky rasp to her moans, it even seemed animalistic.
and there was jimin, gripping your hair in a messy ponytail just so that she can ruthlessly fuck your mouth. with the amount that she was tugging and pulling on your head, you could assume that your head was throbbing in pain- assuming anyways, because you were feeling strangely good that you most likely ignored the pain.
as planned, they continue their assault on you. pussy already stretched out and abused, and your jaw began to ache.
enough of that jimin thought. although she enjoyed your warm throat, mouth and tongue working magic on her cock, she couldn’t forget that this was your punishment. the palm of her hand pushed your forehead, prompting you to lay back down, head meeting the soft pillows. you fell with a light thud- now due to the fact that you had nothing in your mouth to keep you quiet, and the way that minjeong was still pummelling into your pussy raw, you had no other choice but to cry out loud… not in a ‘save me, help me!’ way, it was more like a “fuck, fuck- mmnngh… w-wait- feels ah..!?” type of way.
jimin looked at her younger step sibling. she knew minjeong was too heated to even think about the punishment. she clicked her tongue in annoyance.
minjeongs fingers made their way to your clit, toying and rubbing with the sensitive nub. it only pushed you to moan even louder, the first time you’d have someone play with your clit.. waves of pleasure washed over your body causing you to wriggle around. seemed like jeongie was a little pussy drunk, actually no, she was pussy drunk. every pound forced your cunt to the best fucktoy for her. at this point her sweat dripped down from her temple to the side of her face with how fucking fast her hips were going.
jimin stood for a moment- thats when it struck her, another great plan came to mind. she kneeled on top of your bed, making it creak a little, shuffling a little closer to where minjeong was positioned, she whispered something sinister into her ears.
“get up-“ jimin ordered with an authoritative voice “stand up y/n” you winced, hissing out in pain as minjeong carelessly pulls her cock out with a little-
“mmm.. now? oh yeah, okay…” jeongie thankfully takes the cuffs off. thank god she did because the pain from the hard ass metal had you rubbing your wrist, a slightly deep and red mark sat on your skin.
“y/n, stand up” jimin ordered once again.
coughing out, voice hoarse “…fuck no… n-not gonna”
“still talking back?” minjeong sneered. now both of them are pretty strong- being able to toss you across the room for shits and giggle.. but not so much shits and giggles when you’re forced to stand up, seized inbetween jimins strong grip, both hands around your bare shoulders. she momentarily gawked between your legs, she snickered-
“lowlife stealing bitch and now a whore even though you were a virgin… you honestly deserve this” all at once her dick pierces your cunt, her erratic movements earning a guttural moan that came straight out your throat. following jimin, minjeong came from behind, lifting your leg into the air so that she could make room for herself.
“don’t…!? you’re gonna b-break me- i can’t fit both in me.. wait, please pleaseplease anything but this- please!?!” teasing her dick at your entrance, basking in the feeling of your wet pussy again. jimins thick cock was bigger than you’d anticipated- but having minjeong’s in your cunt as well would surely leave you unable to walk. not like they cared…
ramming both at different speeds caused you to lose control of everything. unable to adjust to their length, your hands instinctively search for something to grab ,because really.. who can function normally with two girthy dicks stuffed inside of their virgin pussy.
if one of them pumped in, the other one pumped out. an endless stream of violent railing that turned your brain to mush. beyond saving, and beyond speech- nothing more than gargled moans and incoherent mumbles fell from your mouth. so, so intense that you felt like your body was giving in-
being dehumanised and degraded and only made for jiminjeongs use. you hated that you learned to love it.
jimin threw her head back, her mouth agape moaning at how stuffed your pussy was and how much of a cock slut you were. hips snapping each time she felt like you weren’t reacting the way she wanted. huffing each time she felt close- her plan wasn’t completed yet and because of that she had to restrain from shooting her load into your womb.
minjeong bit down on your shoulder, marking you everywhere she could- only because she could take a couple more pictures later and use that as blackmail and definitely not her own personal use. she nuzzled herself into the crook of your neck- leaving dark bruises scattered across your nape.
you wrap your arms around jimins neck “feel- feel weird… haa.. mmngh-“ you squeezed your eyes shut, your body tensed, you heard the two of them pant in your ear, jimins low moaning reverberating in your head and minjeong high pitched whimpers suggested that they were as close as you were.
“take it- fuck,, take it all you filthy whore” jimin snapping her hips as she fills your entire cunt with her semen. not even a second later, minjeong ejaculates as well, she squeals and bites into your neck, both hers and jimins legs shaking from the harsh orgasm. you follow in their pleasure, letting out a strangled moan, head slumping backwards into minjeong as your body falls limp.
they leave you afterwards, letting you lay weakly on the floor “what happens here, stays here. if you tell anyone we’ll know.. oh and those pics will be posted” walking out the door as if nothing ever happened. and yet you’re laying down on your carpet cunt filled up with a mixture of their semen leaking out.
hmm… guess you’ll have to piss them off again. who knows what they’ll do to you.
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HELP IDK HOW TO FEEL ABT THIS? THOUGHTS????
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liahaslosthermind · 2 months ago
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~ 𝐀 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ~
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Mentions of Rhysand x OC (Adelaide), Eventual Azriel x OC Part 1 of Betrayal Summary: She would have chosen him over her mate every time, so why couldn’t he do the same for her?
Warnings: Hurt/No Comfort, Death, Cheating, Betrayal
It hurt.
It hurt so much.
Not physically, she couldn't feel her body anymore, but emotionally.
Encircled by a pool of her own blood, watching the man she had devoted her life to collapse to his knees in front of his mate's body, leaving his lover alone to watch.
Feyre would be okay, Adelaide knew that much, and deep down so did Rhysand. But as the feeling of incoming doom fell upon her, she knew she wouldn't be so lucky.
He didn’t seem to care much for her at that moment though.
It was inevitable that Rhysand would one day have to choose between the girl he had loved for most of his existence or the mate he had just hardly gotten to know, but Adelaide didn’t think it would be so soon, or that Rhys would pick Feyre. They were chosen by The Mother to share a special type of bond, she knew that. She also knew she envied Feyre, she was stronger, had much more of a back bone, and mated to the love of her life.
When he had first mentioned meeting his mate, Adelaide had practically brushed it off. She was so sure she had no reason to worry, over 300 years together couldn't be thrown away by a young, human girl.
The moment Feyre's shoe hit her lover, though, thats when she began to sweat.
Had Adelaide been able to, had blood not started to pool in her mouth, she would have laughed.
While they had known there was no mating bonds between them, Rhysand and Adelaide had vowed to never think twice about their mates. When Adelaide met her mate many years ago, Rhysand hadn't given her the opportunity or chance of choosing between the two. Not even a week after the bond had snapped, her mate was found dead in his bed.
She still knew she would have picked Rhys every time, but apparently the feeling wasn’t mutual. 
So there she was, laying in a puddle of her own blood, watching her long time partner nurture his shaken up, but still perfectly healthy, mate he had told Adelaide not to worry about. 
“Are you alright? What can I do?” He asked Feyre as he caressed her arm, checking her over, and then checking again.
“I’m fine. I just need a moment.” Feyre responded. Rhys was so concerned about her even though she would be walking away with a mere flesh wound and a few sleepless nights at most. Adelaide tried to call out but only the sound she produced was from choking on her own blood. Rhysand didn’t turn around, instead holding his mate closer.
But finally, after an eternity alone on the cold floor, she felt someone grab her hand.
Azriel had crawled over to his best friend the moment he saw she had hit the ground. The faebane in his system from a few nasty slashes making it impossible to do more than that.
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. After years of a strong friendship the two could communicate through their eyes alone. He looked concerned and pale. She couldn't tell how hurt he was, her eyes hardly letting her see his blurry face.
He sat up as well as he could, bringing her close to him, and began holding her cheak as he tried to sooth her.
Or maybe he was trying to sooth himself. He was the damned Shadowsinger, the spy master, he had always been annoyingly perceptive. No matter how hard he denied it, he knew she wasn't walking away from this.
Tears streaming down his face as he held in his sobs. Such a strange sight to most, he never let anyone see him cry, except the girl that laid dying in his lap.
“It’s okay Az. I will be okay.” She said ad well as she could with the prominent taste of iron in her mouth. He could almost laugh, even in her last moments she put Azriel first.
“You know thats not true.” He said as he glimpsed up to look at Rhysand, pure hatred in his eyes for what his brother was doing at moment, and for what he was not doing.
Just as he went to call his name,
“Don’t. He is happy, it was bound to happen.”
“Not like this, he wasn’t supposed to pick her. He promised he wouldn’t. I’m sorry.” Azriel couldn't tell whether it was anger or early onset grief that was making him shake in this moment.
Adelaide remembered that. After a fight with Rhysand about being too busy training Feyre to spend time with her, and after running to Azriel in tears, he yelled at Rhysand for his actions, made him promise to stay away from Feyre. The conversation was not unlike another the two had had before regarding Feyre's sister, Elain, and Azriel's intentions. Azriel made him promise to put Adelaide first, always. And Rhys had agreed, but apparently that promise had an expiration date.
“I know, but it's not your fault Az, don’t believe it is.”
“He should be here with you right now. Not me. If I fought him harder on this maybe he would have changed his-”
“Let him live his life with regret that he wasn’t with me in the end. Cause now that I know who he would truly pick, there is no one else I'd rather have next to me than you, Azriel.”
That silenced him.
He watched as she started to slip away, felt helpless as all he could do was hug her tighter.
With one whispered ‘thank you’ she drifted off, embracing whatever death had planned for her.
Her last thought was that she hoped he knew she wasn't just thanking him for that moment, but 400 years of companionship, of heartfelt conversations, of stupid fights, of full fledged loyalty, of love.
A cry broke out as Azriel looked at her now limp body. Concerned, Rhysand took his attention off Feyre, to his brother and what was causing his wails, fearing the worst, that he was hurt.
Dread filled Rhysand, he couldn't handle dealing with another wounded member of his family. But the image of a crying Azriel, a rare sight indeed, holding his lover's lifeless body, stole all the air from his lungs. 
Azriel looked at his High Lord and through his tears spoke with so much pain and hatred in his voice, Rhysand believed that physical torture would have been easier to endure. 
“You didn’t even look back. You didn’t even check on her.” Azriel cried out, holding his best friend even closer as Rhysand made his way over on shaky feet. 
Az yelled a broken ‘No’ when his High Lord got too close. He didn’t get this, he didn’t get to hold her after she had spent her last moments watching him hold another woman. So he didn’t. Azriel, still holding onto her body, disappeared into the shadows before his brother could try anything.
As Rhysand fell to his knees in all consuming grief for who he lost and guilt for not being there, he felt even more shame at the way his body reacted to the warm touch Feyre provided, and at the breath he let out when he was reminded his mate was still alright.
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kiss-me-muchoo · 29 days ago
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𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐲 || 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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part one: valley of the dolls || part two: here
summary_ where coriolanus snow wants to win you again after recovering from Dr. Gaul’s experiments, but ends up threatening you to marry him or he’ll reveal your darkest secret, just because you were his.
warnings_ NO PROOFREAD, dubcon, oral (f receiving), dark!coriolanus, angst, fluff (well…), drama
notes_happy halloween, listen to my Coriolanus’ playlist, it’s so bad I promise you’ll hate it.
♪ ♫ Coryo playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)
Reflections were a light of truth. Whether you liked it or not. There are no more tears to shed, you think you’ve run out of them.
“You need to put down that mirror…” your father said.
He had grown a little colder after ascending to work closely with the government. Burt you know you’ll always be his little girl. Just like you would always love him.
“I can’t stop. My skin itches, I feel like I’m burning…” you reply, looking. At yourself.
Your skin was literally shredding. As if liquid glue had been poured all over your body. Now was dry, peeling itself off. The worst parts were in your face, ribs, and thighs.
“You have visits…” your eyes almost pop out.
“What?”
“Just Clemensia…”
“I thought I said no visits until I was allowed to leave the hospital.”
“I don’t think she’ll judge you, y/n”
It was true. You were horrified when Clemensia appeared full of neon scaled and yellow eyes to wake you up and Coriolanus at the hospital.
“Fine. Let her come in…” your father nodded, kissing your forehead before leaving.
You went to look at your reflection a little more. The dry peeling skin was turning dark, creating an odd contrast with your new rosy layer.
The sound of the door made you startled, but when you turned, you spotted Clemensia already inside.
She inspects your face once she’s inches away from you. She even touches your skin.
“You look great. I’d give it a couple of days. Amazing…” You can’t resist but embrace her, which she accepts.
“It’s been two months and everyone keeps talking about you. I suspected the reason, so I patiently waited” she says, taking a seat beside you in the hospital bed. You half laugh, putting away the mirror.
“How are you?
“Good? Not? I don’t know. I don’t even know what happened” you reply.
“I guess if I was close to turning into a giant python, you were very close to turning into a mermaid” You find the humor in her words, so you laugh with her.
What was left to do either way? You thought.
“When I woke up, I had fish scales and I couldn’t stop drinking water…” Clemensia nodded. She was almost clear from the scales. Her eyes were normal again. She looked good.
“Just like I couldn’t stop my tongue from making odd sounds and movements…”
Both of you remain quiet for a little while. Until Clemensia opens her mouth and then shuts it, debating whether to speak up or not.
You already know what she’s wondering.
“Say it, Clemmie.” She sighs, surrendering to her curiosity.
“What happened with Coriolanus?…”
“He exposed me for suggesting he cheat in the games. He didn’t tell me anything the last time I saw him. It was in the Citadel, he was coming out from Dr. Gaul’s office and I was about to come in...”
You scratch your own hands for comfort. Clinging to confidence to disguise your anxiety.
“Coriolanus would never hurt you…”
“Oh Clemmie, I haven’t seen him in two months but I’m pretty sure the schoolboy we knew is completely gone. When I entered that lab, I was forced to lay in a bed and wait for hundreds of needles to attack me. And the moment I opened my eyes was a week ago…” your friend looks at you with pity, but you can’t feel bad for that.
“My mother brought me the news. Coriolanus left to the districts, he was exiled and paid to go and follow his songbird to the most filthy district.”
“Maybe he got scared. Perhaps he didn’t know Gaul was going to punish you…”
“He discovered I was sick because he called home a month after he left. A month, Clemmie. Neither one of the Snows worried for me. When I considered part of my family.” tears prick in your eyes but you can’t cry.
“He said I was important, he kissed me when he won the games. Dear lord, we promised to split the prize if one of us won. I love Coriolanus Snow, he was my best friend. I kissed him again and told him I’d see him at home the last time I saw him… All for nothing.”
Clemensia holds you tightly once again, this time brushing your dry and unhealthy hair.
“It’s going to be okay, y/n. You didn’t do anything wrong, you can rest knowing you are a good and decent person” You nod, swallowing the resentment towards that man.
“While I prepare to come back, Clemmie… Please start destroying him for me.” She smiles, caressing your hand.
“A man who chooses district over his capitol family is a coward”
Rumors were spread faster than disease in the Middle Ages. Coriolanus Snow was a renowned man. He let the rumors run like water. He followed Lucy Gray Baird to the districts for love. Didn’t work out, the girl was accused of murder and ran away, leaving him.
Everyone knew Coriolanus Snow had broken your heart. And that you remained confined in a hospital room. Infectious virus was the alleged reason.
When he received a call from Dr.Gaul, he internally cheered. She kept her promise of moving you to a hospital, and finally, your parents could see you. Coriolanus would be lying if he said he didn’t care about you anymore.
In fact, returning to the Capitol reminded him how lonely he actually was. Even worse when he learned Festus, Lysistrata, Clemensia and
were giving him the cold shoulder for abandoning you. Apparently, the girl he considered one of his closest friends visited you at the hospital and you spilled your side of the story. Coriolanus couldn’t blame you. He wasn’t expecting anything from you yet.
Trying to find a reason to keep his mind occupied other than attending university was to wisely make the first spend with the Plinth’s fortune. Coriolanus decided to refurbish the penthouse. And when he tried to offer a hand to your parents to do the same, he was shocked to learn it wasn’t necessary anymore.
It was a long night of talking. Your father had ascended to position quickly and now worked as part of President Ravinstill’s cabinet. Your mother had opened her own atelier in the Capitol’s downtown. When he was allowed to visit your room, Coriolanus noticed the wallpapers that looked faded and peeling now looked fresh. Your feathers lamp was long gone. It was replaced with an exotic flower look alike chandelier.
But his picture remained in your family pictures in your new bookshelves. And that’s when the guilt sank in.
The need to be okay with you grew. He remembered having an ally.
When he asked for you, your father revealed with sad but hopeful eyes that your skin was peeling, that your only cold showers felt good, but that you smiled for them.
Coriolanus got chills at the memory of you in that water tank. He supposed your process was similar to Clemensia and the snake bite.
As a man as well, your father didn’t completely blame him for growing confused about you and Lucy Gray.
He was urged to make amends with you. Tigris said it, grandma’am too. Clemensia and your parents said it too.
So he would.
Fixing your gloves, you look out your window. The Corso looked even more luxurious and elegant with the pink morning sky. But soon your eyes betray you, landing in your pictures. You immediately grab Coriolanus’ portrait, ready to take the paper stuck under the glass and tear it. But you don’t, you only put the picture looking down.
His memory kept haunting you. After all, he was still your neighbor.
You learned after a few more visits from Clemensia that Sejanus was dead. You sobbed so much. Sejanus was a good friend and his need to be something else killed him. Actually, Coriolanus killed him but you would never know that.
Only that his death led to the Plinths making Coriolanus their heir. That he was studying bureaucratic law and having private lessons with Dr. Gaul.
Traitor, traitor, traitor. He was even accepting classes from the woman who almost killed you.
In social matters, Coriolanus was courting Livia Cardew and you actually laughed.
Your best friend was truly gone. But you were back and you didn’t want to be overcome by the pain he put you through.
You were more than a curated girl with a broken heart that appeared in the newspapers. You were the daughter of a successful man and the daughter of the most famous designer of the capital.
And you weren’t going to start your comeback with the wrong foot.
Dr. Gaul probably wasn’t expecting to release an experiment only to return to a human body with regenerated DNA. The dry skin was replaced by a shiny and healthy new layer. Your hair grew again, longer than ever and you felt healthy overall.
The moment you stepped out of the trolley station, you slowly started to feel some heads turn your way.
The click of your heels soothed you as you made your way through the long marble stairs of the Capitol’s University. The feeling of unwanted attention grew when you went to the main office to pick up your schedule.
The secretary handed you the paper and as you read through it, someone tapped on your shoulder. You turned and it was a surprise to encounter one friend.
“Festus!…” you hug him, immediately feeling happy to see him.
“I heard you were back. Lysistrata and I split to find you. I guess I won…” he said, making you chuckle.
“You look great”
“You too. We’ve heard the craziest rumors about you and we literally spent the whole summer wondering what had actually happened” you sigh.
You wanted everyone to know what happened to you. That Gaul was a monster. That Coriolanus was a traitor. But it wasn’t the most viable. But he was your friend, you could trust him.
“What did Clemensia tell you?” You asked him, walking out of the office, and starting your way through the long halls.
“Not much. Only that Coriolanus was the biggest idiot,” he admitted.
And hearing that name out loud puts you on alert. He could appear anytime soon. And to be honest you weren’t prepared to encounter him. But you were confident that ignoring his existence would be easy.
“Well, Festus, let’s find her and Lysistrata. We have a lot to talk about…”
By the end of the day, everyone has your name on their lips. You spot Livia gossiping with Persephone, Iphigenia, Urban, and Androcles, the little bunch of the Academy that always made fun of you and Coriolanus for being so close.
You can’t help but remember that Coriolanus had started some sort of courtship with the mean blonde. You guess it’s because they turned out to be pretty much alike.
Overall, it hadn’t been as bad as you thought it was going to be. The hope of becoming a senator one day was still strong as the first day of classes for you turned out to be good.
You clench the zipper of your bag that hangs on your shoulder, ready to leave campus and call it a day.
It was particularly empty a few hours before the night, but there were a few still walking around. Your breathing had found a peaceful pace to follow until your eyes localized the nearest exit.
Entering there was a man, whose curls had disappeared into perfectly slicked hair, whose suit seemed to be impeccable and luxurious, whose bright loving eyes had turned into cold oceans, and whose warm smile had transformed into a frivolous expression.
Coriolanus Snow entered the hall, he hadn’t seen you, but you knew he would.
And you could have turned and walked all over campus to find another exit. But you wouldn’t.
Not when there are people already connecting dots with your presence and his in the same place.
With a big sigh, you focused your eyes on the door, in the falling sky that was preparing a sunset. You wouldn’t meet any face in the place just to avoid him. And as much as you tried to ignore the shivers, you could feel your hands shaking.
He saw you when he had you close enough to notice your red eyeshadow. He had already mastered the technique of hiding his feelings and expressions. But seeing you had erased any trace of practice. He let an inaudible gasp and almost stopped walking.
You looked very healthy in comparison to what he had heard. The scales he had seen were completely gone. Your eyes sparkled naturally and your hair looked very peculiar.
But any hope of interacting with you died the moment you passed by his side. Almost brushing your shoulders and you ignored him completely.
You had humiliated him. So he turned and started walking behind you. And the farther you moved, the more his anxiety started growing. He hadn’t even noticed he had followed you to the trolley station.
You heard him calling your name. But you ignored him. Your body relaxed as soon as the doors closed and the university disappeared from your sight.
Tears formed in your eyes, and you had to shut your eyes so harshly to avoid them from spilling.
It had turned into a cat-and-mouse game. You were almost running towards your apartment. Coriolanus knew your parents were working, so he had no problem chasing you to the door of your home.
“You won’t be able to run away every time, y/n… We need to talk” he said, knowing you could hear him through the other side of the door.
“I don’t want to talk with you” you replied, taking off your scarf and heels. Ignoring the way your heart still lounged for him it decreased its beats whenever you saw him talking with Livia on campus.
“You’re gonna listen to me one of these days”
“Go home, Coriolanus. Live your life and forget about me” he felt the pain in your words. And for some reason, it also hurt him.
“I can’t…” he whispered, hearing your footsteps walking away from the door.
With his obsessive nature flowing through him, he opened the door of the penthouse and was greeted by Tigris.
“Did you talk with her?” Coriolanus shook his head, and Tigris sighed.
“The other day I saw her at the market and she was so cold. I felt so sad when she said we acted like we didn’t care for her…” Coriolanus sighed at her words.
He wasn’t expecting you to encounter him with a big kiss like the one you gave him the last time he saw you. But he was getting impatient. He quickly understood that you weren’t jealous of Livia and if you actually were, you were brilliant at hiding it.
He learned that you were extremely hurt by him and his family. And he had to accept it was indeed his fault. You were the only reason he actually regretted things and wanted to say sorry.
He missed his best friend. Without you, he realized he was slowly becoming his father.
Of course, your mother would invite the Snows for dinner.
“Why would you do that?” You ask, polishing each fork and knife on the table, already feeling angry.
“I just want you and Coriolanus to be friends again, y/n. He’s such a good boy and he’s growing into a fine man…” you frown, leaning over a chair, facing your mother.
“He chose a filthy bohemian singer from the districts over me. That says everything about Coriolanus, mother…”
The woman also stops polishing the table utensils to look at you.
“He was just a kid, like you. We were struggling and he wanted power just like we all want… Focus on the man he is turning into, not the boy he was…” she says leaving.
“That’s exactly the problem…” you whisper.
You didn’t like the man he was turning into.
But you have to swallow your thoughts as soon as you hear voices from other than your parents. You sigh, knowing he has arrived. And it wasn’t like you wanted to impress him, but you wanted to show him that you were doing fine without him, that he hadn’t broken your heart, and that you didn’t care about him like you used to.
Coriolanus had just given your mother a hug when he saw you entering the room. To his eyes, you looked perfectly pretty.
You had an emerald dress with black tights and heels, your hair in an elegant bun, and some curls peeking over across your face. But your face was so serious. You barely glanced at him and Tigris when you greeted them. You only blink when Tigris mentions the Grandma’am was sick and couldn’t be at the dinner. Everyone noticed your awkward demeanor and your mother tried to break the ice.
“Coriolanus! Why don’t you and y/n go to check the oven?” You don’t oppose, you simply nod and leave without waiting for him to follow. But you can look over the corner of your eye at the fabric of his suit, dark grey, and his usual white rose on top of his heart. You couldn’t help but miss his curls, even when his new haircut made him mature and older.
Coriolanus saw you put on some kitchen gloves and he hurried to help.
“Let me check it…”
“I can do it myself, thanks” you reply coldly.
“Are you ever going to talk to me like a decent human?”
“Oh, I’m decent, very much compared to you. I need time, I have to put my thoughts in order” You were being honest.
“I won’t be waiting forever” he didn’t mean to sound so harsh but that’s the way he ended up sounding.
“Then you don’t really care about my forgiveness” he is about to protest, but you have moved away and taken out a giant turkey that must’ve been heavy enough to draw a sigh out of you. The whole interaction made him feel like an idiot. So he went to your side again.
“I miss you” he reveals, cringing at the sound of him being so vulnerable.
“You shouldn’t, you’re courting Livia Cardew”
“That’s not what it seems”
“I really don’t care, Coriolanus” you lied.
You start serving good portions and he has to start putting them on the table. He can hear your parents laughing with Tigris and he wishes everything was fine. Just like it was a couple of months ago. He really could see himself joking along with you, kissing you while you served the dinner, and being happy. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.
“For now, the only I want you to know is that it was never my intention to hurt you. If I could’ve avoided all the pain, I would’ve, y/n” you harshly crash the knife against one of the porcelain plates, closing your eyes to calm your sudden anger.
“If you hadn’t mentioned my name to Gaul, if you hadn’t kissed me the day you won the games if you had called the day you left the Capitol, you would’ve avoided a lot of my pain. But you didn’t… Because you care more about yourself than for the two of us as equals, Snow”
He unconsciously unlocked many unpleasant memories. So many things you would never know. But when he got onto something, he didn’t stop until he could feel like a winner.
“I won’t let go of the person that was there for me when I had nothing. No matter what it takes…” you eyed him, overcoming your fear watching him at the eye and you fulminate him, with a look of defiance that he also senses.
Coriolanus lets you pass by him and he watches you disappear into the dining table.
A couple of hours later, your father has taken away Coriolanus to drink in his office. Coriolanus is amazed by all the things the old man has achieved. He admired and respected your father. So he didn’t take too long to notice your father was drunk. He has started telling him what happened when his grandfather lived in District 1 and he visited him.
“Then our baby was born there. That house must be ashes from the war but every time I look at it in pictures, it makes me feel like it’s still there���” Coriolanus almost dropped his glass.
“So y/n was born in District 1?” Your father nods, finishing a second bottle of posca. Coriolanus had never liked to drink and he took it as an advantage most of the time.
“Let me find the birth certificate…” you father said.
To Coriolanus, this was shocking. When your father took out an envelope, he handed him the certificate. You had two names and two last names. Born a later winter baby and with a tiny imprint of your feet. His fingers traced your name.
“This is probably our biggest secret, Coriolanus. But you’re family, we trust you, boy” said your father patting his shoulder.
Coriolanus smiled, tracing your second name once again. Then turned to see you talking with Tigris outside.
Things kept getting in his favor since we came back to the Capitol.
You felt his eyes but you ignored him, focusing on an uncomfortable Tigris that wanted to talk to you.
“Me and Grandma’am asked for you a couple of days after Coryo left. That’s when we learned you were sick. I swear we asked every week, but your parents got very busy and we barely saw them. Then we had to move out because of the rent payments. It was hard…”
You analyze her burgundy lipstick and you know she’s telling the truth.
“Do you know the asshole your cousin was?” She nods.
“I do. He saw you when Dr. Gaul had you in her laboratory. Coryo was scared, he looked shocked and he knew you wouldn’t forgive him. But I told him to be a man and apologize”
“I miss the boy he was… I miss my best friend” you admit, biting your tongue because you should’ve kept that to yourself.
“I’m afraid the districts changed him… he reminds me of…”
“His father” you finish for her.
Sadly, she nods to you.
“Grandma’am keeps asking Coryo when will you be back. He always tells her he’s trying to win you back” She changes the subject, attempting to make you smile.
But you only reply with a little chuckle and a sad smile.
For the next two weeks, you have been drained from any sense of certainty. You have Coriolanus Snow waiting at your door every morning, insisting to walk you to university because he knew you hated having chauffeurs, the Capitol wasn’t big enough to depend on a vehicle. It was a walkable city and you loved taking the trolley. So he had been punctual and he had walked you every single day.
You barely talked and he hated that. Until two days ago when Coriolanus made you smile. He noticed you tried to hide it but it had been late. Your smile filled him with pride and he got even more obsessed with winning you back.
The luck hadn’t run out of him, because that afternoon your mother knocked on his door to invite him and his family to the release party of her new winter collection.
The invitation made Tigris extremely happy and Coriolanus knew it was a great chance to get close to you.
But you had other plans. You took your mother’s party as a distraction from him. At the atelier, you spent the following days previous to the party. Lysistrata and Clemensia wanted a dress from your mother’s hands and you had no problem with having your friends there.
Three glasses of champagne rested on the center table, you were in underwear, waiting for one of the sewers to take measurements of your body.
“I still don’t know why you want to wear light pink. It’s a boring color, y/n” Clemmie said. You giggled, and as soon as you were free to move, you slipped on a black nightgown, hurrying to grab the design you and your mother had come up with nights ago.
“Because of this… is a reformed copy of my grandmother’s dress” Both of your friends analyzed the paper and ended up nodding.
“It’s very pretty” Lysistrata replied.
Clemensia wanted a bodycon dress in silver and Lysistrata wanted a blue maxi dress. The theme of the party was flower masquerade. The winter collection was all about silver, pastel pink, burgundy, and grey.
“Hey, yesterday in the session I had of psychology, Persephone and Urban were gossiping about Livia and Coriolanus. Apparently, he called it quits with her after you returned. They only had like two dates but it wasn’t working out either way”
“In what world would Livia Cardew and Coriolanus Snow get along so well to have dates?” Your friends laugh, but you are slightly nervous about the subject.
“Everyone is so invested in you two, though. It was already a matter of gossip back in the Academy. Now that we are basically… adults? It’s more notorious” you eye Lysistrata, realizing you probably were more popular than you thought you were.
“I can’t forgive him. I can only see a selfish man. Not my boy, the one I fell in love with…” you confess.
Clemensia and Lysistrata look at each other, unsure about what they should say to you.
“You could meet the new man he is, perhaps he’s not as bad as you think,” Lysistrata says.
“But stay alert. And don’t give in so easily….” You know Clemensia is right.
And you’re still unsure about even considering giving Coriolanus another chance.
Someone knocked on the door and it was an avox, he handed you a bouquet that you took confused. It had a note.
[ I hope we can match for the party] Of course it had to be from him.
“Speaking of the devil…’
“He sent you flowers?” Clemmie asked and you nodded.
You call the avox and hand him the note. On the blank side, you wrote “I don’t think you’re wearing a light pink suit”.
“Let’s focus on the dresses…” they both nod at you.
It surely was one of the most beautiful parties you had attended ever. The party was letting every attendee that your family had won enough power to host something so luxurious. The saloon was full of flowers, some even scattered in the giant chandeliers that hung in the high ceilings. The avoxes all had the same black mask and were serving rounds after rounds of fine alcohol.
Your friends got a table near the stairs, they were laughing and having a good time. You stood up to get a sweet treat since you hadn’t eaten since midday. There was this guy that tagged along and he turned out to be very funny. He was getting along Lysistrata and you liked the sight.
But in the eyes of a certain blonde, who had just arrived, it set him on fire from jealousy. Coriolanus wasn’t trying to get you back in vane. He got mad after seeing you laugh with that guy. He got tired of waiting.
His evil grin grows when he overhears Clemensia and Festus saying you had confessed you still loved him but you couldn’t forgive him. That made him relax a little, so he put on his best smile and approached you at the food table.
There were cookies, pastries, and a vast variety of cakes.
You could hear many people praising your mother’s designs. As you started chewing a lavender and lemon pastry, you felt a hand on your lower back.
“Congratulations to your mother” You turned to encounter Coriolanus. He had a black suit with barely visible thin grey stripes and his signature rose, in a light pink shade that perfectly matched your dress. His mask was black as well and his look, in general, reminded you of his last-minute outfit from the day of the reaping. You felt a pang in your heart because you could see a glimpse of the boy he was at that masquerade.
“You are not going to speak?” He asked.
“I was chewing…” you said, looking away from him.
“Indeed” With his index finger, he cleaned your lips from the cream of the pastry, which took you by surprise.
“We need to talk.”
“Now it’s not the best time, Coriolanus”
“I’m pretty sure it can’t wait. I wouldn’t suit you, especially on a day like this” his words confused you and for some reason it made you feel nervous.
“Why are you saying it like that?”
“Like what, dear?” At the sound of his tone, you knew it wasn’t very good.
“Let’s go upstairs when the runway begins,” you said coldly.
The minutes pass flying and when the lights turn off and people gather to look at the fashion show, you and Coriolanus disappear upstairs.
There are plenty of rooms. Most of them are looked but you find one that’s open. It’s a restroom. It has low lights and a lot of mirrors as well as statues and paintings. In the center, there’s a velvet couch that you take to sit on.
You look at Coriolanus expectantly and he only eyes you deeply with his blue eyes.
“Would you marry me?” You frown, shock flooding you, but remain seated, gripping the cushion of the couch harshly.
“What?”
“If I told you I know you were born in the districts. Would you marry me?” You stand up furiously.
“DON’T YOU DARE, CORIOLANUS!” You yell, knowing nobody can hear you.
He grins and walks closing the distance between you two. You step backwards until he gently pushes you so you end up seated again.
“I told you I would get tired of waiting” Your eyes get teary.
“No, don’t cry, baby. I will treat you so right. I will make you a fine First Lady one day…” he whispers, caressing your face.
“Why are you so cruel?”
“I just want you to love me again”
“I did love you, Coriolanus. But it wasn’t enough for you” you retort with anger in your eyes. He smiled, an evil smile that made you mad, he gripped your chin so you couldn’t move away from him.
“I was a boy who didn’t know what it had. Now I’m not risking losing you again” You tried to stand up but he forced you to stay still. And then he kissed you.
His lips invaded yours. You couldn’t reciprocate, you wanted to run away and never come back. But he had other plans, he pinned your hands over your stomach and pushed you to lay on the couch.
When his knee had separated your legs, you opened your eyes in panic.
“Coriolanus, What are you doing?” He didn’t reply.
With one hand he bunched your dress over your lap and his lips started trailing kissing all over your knees to your inner thighs, you gasped and tried to close your legs.
“You can’t lie to my face that you don’t love me anymore. But I know you do. And your body can’t disguise it” he traced a finger over your underwear, the pink fabric denoting a darker spot that revealed your aching for his touch.
“Stop it” you demanded him. Coriolanus only chuckled.
“Who’s gonna understand you like I do? You can’t trust anyone but me, y/n” he said before moving your underwear aside and trailing your insides with his tongue.
You had to muffle a moan because you couldn’t give him the satisfaction, but that didn’t last long.
He had no experience because you knew he had never touched a woman. But he was a fast learner. Because he started making you feel so good. Coriolanus wanted to hear you moan his name, but he couldn't wait. He knew he was doing a good job because, at some point, you lifted one leg, your heel brushing his hip.
“I will never love you again,” you say between moans.
Coriolanus smirks.
“You already do. Just like me…”
You open your eyes and you turn to look at the mirrors. Coriolanus was under your dress and you were putting so much pressure on your stomach, trying to not lift your hips. You were so guilty. For giving into him. Because you still loved him and you secretly hoped he would be the man you wanted him to be.
_________________________________
Then the wedding, a trip to the districts, spooky encounter and finally love in part 3 or not?
Taglist: @sweet-n-serene @qoopeeya @ietss @commanderfreethatdust @starryyyshinomya44
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 2 years ago
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We bleed together
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a/n you want pain!? I'll give you pain. The person who requested this is responsible for the damage.
summary: what if the last day of humanity was different? What if instead of loosing Sarah, Joel lost you - the mother of his two children and the person who had built him up to a better man.
warnings: car crash, blood, injuries, wounds, death ahh I would say medium emotional damage
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"And then one more", you spun around, making the baby giggle in your hands, "And one more", you twirled around, smiling to yourself as yet another giggle filled the still-empty kitchen. Emma was one giddy baby. For a five-month-old, she was extremely alert, her curiosity driving her to look around as much as she could. If only her body was strong enough, she would be crawling around day and night. Following Sarah around or any of you for that instant. Sarah barely left her side. You were worried at first about her reaction. Sure, you had been there almost from the start, helping Joel take care of her, and she was like your own daughter, but still. You had plenty of conversations about her biological mother. You understood her desire to know. To ask questions. To understand.
"She didn't want me, right? I was the problem", you were halfway through your pregnancy when this conversation surfaced again. Putting down the baby sweater that you were just folding, you motioned for Sarah to come in. She had become more avoidant once you started showing. The reality started to kick in, and it pained her that the baby was going to have a real and normal family.
"You were never the problem, my beam of light", you cupped her face lovingly, whipping away some of the tears that had started rolling down Sarah's cheeks. "But… she didn't love me like you love your baby", "Oh, Sarah", you pulled her closer to your chest, "I've loved you from the moment I saw you kicking around in that makeshift crib your dad had going on". Running your hand through Sarah's curls, you made her turn to you. "You've been my special girl since then. I love you and the baby the same. There are no differences to me between you two. Sure, you and I don't share DNA, but, like, who cares about that?", she shrugged her shoulders. Biting her lip as she tried to stop the tears. "You promise you won't leave?", Sarah crocked out, big brown eyes searching yours. It broke your heart so much, but you understood her. Her fear of losing a mother figure. Her dad needing to go through this alone again. You took both of her hands in yours, squeezing them, "I would never dream of it; you are my world".
Joel couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, especially once the baby caught sight of her father in the archway, kicking her little legs happily. The sudden burst of excitement made you turn your head to the side, "Ah, so dad is the one you get all happy for, huh", You nuzzled your face into Emma's neck, leaving endless amounts of kisses there and making her squeal happily. "She's a daddy's girl, aren't you?", Joel walked closer to you, hand reaching instantly for the smallest Miller. Emma's babbles filled the kitchen as she told her dad all the stories she could. "Honestly, rude. When both of our kids are like that", "Maybe I'm just more awesome", you let out a fake gasp, your hand coming up your chest. Joel smirked before giggling to himself. "No, sir, soon you'll be going to work without birthday sandwiches", you warned him, and Joel instantly lifted his free hand in the air defensively.
It felt surreal this morning for some reason. Joel had laid in bed awake for some time just thinking. Thinking about Sarah's mother. Thinking about you. About how his life had shifted once you stepped in. How much he valued the love you gave Sarah. How much he valued you going through a tough pregnancy to bring another baby girl into this world. Joel wondered if you knew. Knew how much he loved you. It wasn't just love. It was his whole existence. You were his rock, as he was yours. But he knew, Joel was convinced, that it was all thanks to you that he found purpose in life again.
"We can't have mommy mad", Joel mumbled to Emma, ticking her stomach. He moved closer to you while you were cutting up the vegetables. Leaning in to press a kiss on your shoulder, then another. Before a whole line of kisses was drawn from your shoulder up to your temple. You giggled, loving the slight tickle of Joel's beard against your skin. "I love you so much", Joel muttered, bringing you closer to his chest as his hand sneaked around your waist. You leaned back into him smiling, "Not as much as I love you, birthday boy", you cupped his cheeks, moving into Joel's embrace so you could place your lips on his. "The best mama ever", he muttered in between kisses, "And best wife to be", those words made your heart flutter a little. God, you loved this man, and you couldn't wait to be a Miller soon. You deepened the kiss just a little.
"Seriously? In front of a baby?", Sarah's voice made you two tear apart quickly. "You're officially out of the age to say ew when your parents kiss", Joel chirped, turning to his older daughter, who was rolling her eyes. "Yeah, but Em isn't, so don't be disgusting, right Em?", Sarah reached for her sister, whom Joel had carefully placed in her little high chair. Her little fist tightened and wrapped around Sarah's finger. You place the plates with food on the table.
"Tommy?", you ask, but Joel shrugged his shoulders. "Probably left early," strange, you thought to yourself as you slipped into the chair next to everyone. "So, how old are you again?", Sarah asked, mouth full of food. "Thirty-six", the girl shook her head, making you giggle. "Hate to break it to you, dad, but dippers are in the near future", she teased, but Joel only hummed, "Who said I ain't wearing one now?". Sarah let out a laugh, which Emma mimicked, making you smile. "Well, at least now I know why Em's diapers are disappearing", you said ž, making them both let out a laugh.
You wished you could freeze moments like this. Where you all were laughing. Where nothing bothered you all. "Don't forget to get the cake on your way back", you reminded Joel, who instantly hummed, "I will don't worry", he muttered, and Sarah sent him a warning look that he returned by leaning across the table to cup her cheeks and placing kisses all over her face. She squirmed in her dad's hands until she couldn't contain the laughter anymore.
Joel came back to a dark house. He wasn't expecting anything else, considering that he was three hours late coming back. He knew you would forget him for skipping his birthday dinner. It was Sarah, whom he knew must be upset. And letting her down was his biggest fear in life. Joel tried to move past the hallway as quietly as possible, stopping only when he noticed a light coming from the living room. Sarah was fast asleep with her head laying on your lap, your eyes were tired as you held Emma close to your chest. The light sounds of her suckling and the television playing were the only noise in the room. Joel couldn't help but smile slightly. He will never be able to get tired of a sight like this.
"Am I in deep shit?", you blinked a couple of times, shaking your head, "You can't even imagine Miller". Joel sat down next to you, lips instantly moving to kiss the side of your head, hand reaching to support Emma, who was happily eating, her tiny hand holding onto the pendant necklace that Joel had gotten you. It had four gold-plated letters. All the first letters of your little family's names.
"Don't overthink it. She'll understand eventually. Sarah wants your presence more than that cake anyway,", you reassured him, already feeling him slip into his mind. You knew Joel best. You knew how much he cared. The family was always first, and his working hours were so hectic just because he wanted to give you all the best. "I know. I will… I'll squeeze in a free day, and we can all just have a day to ourselves", Joel muttered, and you leaned closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder.
"Have I told you lately that you are the love of my life?", he asked all of a sudden, making you look back up at him. "Well, I would freaking hope to be", you teased him, moving to nuzzle closer to him once more. Joel let out a light chuckle, "But you have; you always remind me of that. Because you are the best fiancé and father ever", you muttered sleepily. Joel's warmth dangerously lulled you into a slumber.
The sound of what appeared to be a military helicopter flying over the house woke you up. You frowned, reaching over for Joel only to find his side of the bed empty. You quickly sat up, looking at the bassinet that stood by the side of your bed. Breathing out a sigh of relief when you saw Emma fast asleep there. Lights from outside were illuminating the room. It seemed like the search troops were out. What the heck was happening? The sight of a paper note caught your attention next. You picked it up quickly. It was Joel's handwriting on it: "Needed to go bail Tommy out. I'll be back as soon as I can. Love you, J.
The sound of footsteps approaching made you grab a book off your bedside table. Something was wrong, and you could just feel it. You could feel it deep in your gut. "Mom, dad", Sarah's voice filled your ears, right before another helicopter flew by. "Cone here, darling", Sarah threw the door open, rushing to you as she jumped onto the bed. "What's going on?", she asked, as your eyes fell over the window. "I don't know,", you muttered, "But daddy will be home soon, and we'll figure it out, okay?", You cupped her cheek tenderly, giving Sarah a light smile. You stood up and opened the wardrobe, pulling out a wrap-around carrier. Quickly draping it over your body, you leaned to pick up the smallest addition to the family, tucking her close to your chest. Now more than thankful that she was a deep sleeper, a gift from Joel.
"Come on, let's see if there's something on TV,", you said, reaching for Sarah's hand. The commotion outside only made the anxiety more and more intense. "Where is dad?", Sarah asked as you walked down the stairs. "He went to get your uncle". It wasn't the first time, so Sarah didn't ask any more questions. She knew it meant that Tommy had once again gotten into trouble. Something that made her dad rather frustrated most of the time.
All the channels were turned off, the only thing on TV was a warning. "Indoors, law enforcement and emergency services are in the area and will be in contact with further instructions", your hand was still holding onto Sarah when the sound of something hitting the window made you both jump. The barking filled your ears next, and you let out a shaky breath. Sarah instantly rushed towards the doors. "No, get back here", you called after the girl, but she was already opening the door, sinking to her knees as she petted the dog. "Easy, easy, Mercy. What are you doing out here, boy?", Sarah looked around the street, the chilly nighttime air hitting her cheeks. She moves to step closer to the street, but you were quick to hold onto her arm. "Get back inside," you said, "But what if ms. Adler…", she tried to argue, but your grip on her hand only tightened.
"I said inside", you tugged at her hand right as another person or whatever that was stumbled into the street. It twitched awkwardly before starting to dart in your direction. You moved Sarah behind you. "Go, go, go", you shouted before, pushing her into the house, closing the door behind you. Pressing all of your body weight against the door. Eyes closed as your body started to shake. Where was Joel? Where was he? The baby lets out a whine. Your hand instantly moved to rub up and down her tiny back, hoping to soothe her into sleep.
"Mom", Sarah calls out. You lifted your eyes to see her teary ones, instantly reaching for her, "Come here baby. We're okay", "What was that?". You pressed her to your side, kissing her head a couple of times. You wished you could answer, but you couldn't. "I don't know, baby, I don't know", you nudged her closer to yourself. Banging on the doors got louder, and a part of you was telling you to move to somewhere safer to at least get the girls safe. But you couldn't move. So crippled by anxiety. You just sat there with silent tears falling down your cheeks. Then a shot rang out, making you flinch. And then there was silence.
"Y/N", you let out a cry at Joel's voice that filled your ears from the other side of the door. Sarah was the one to stand up fist, quickly reaching for the handle, giving you just enough time to move slightly as she yanked the doors open. Joel stepped in, his hands reaching for Sarah instantly as he looked her over for any sign of injuries, "You're not hurt, baby girl?", he asked her. Sarah shook her head. "Dad, what's going on?", but Joel said nothing as his eyes fell on you. Crying on the floor, hands wrapped around your baby. He crossed the distance between you in a couple of steps. Kneeling beside you, "Joel…", you cried out, and he instantly brought your body closer to his, weary of the baby between you but making sure you could physically feel that he was there, "I've got you dove, come on, we need to move now".
Joel's arm moved to steady you from behind as he helped you up. Tommy was by Sarah's side, gun in hand, as he walked her towards the car. You barely made it down the front porch stairs as someone ran out of the Adler's house. You all froze in place, and Tommy hiked up the gun. "Get in the truck now", Joel roared, briefly turning to you and Sarah. But there was little time to think as the woman's body twitched and, with an unhuman-like growl, she started crawling towards you.
"What are we doing, Joel?", Tommy's voice rang out, but Joel didn't answer. With the tool in his hand, he swung his arm. He hit the old lady straight on the head, and her body fell to the ground. It was a split-second decision. A decision that had both you and Sarah staring at Joel because you had never… Never seen him this way. Never seen so much anger. Never seen this kind of violence. You didn't even know that Joel was capable of that.
"You killed her", Sarah whispered, pulling you out of your trance. Joel stepped to her, cupping her cheek, "Baby, I'm sorry", wrapping his arms around her, embracing her. "Joel, we need to move", Tommy said in a worried tone, now moving to grab your hands as he walked you toward the car. "You're okay?", he asked you as he opened the door, making sure you didn't hit your head. His hand lingered on his niece's back, her big brown eyes now staring at him. You nodded your head. What else were you supposed to do? "We'll get out of here", Tommy said firmly, rubbing his thumb on Emma's cheek. You turned to Joel and Sarah; he was still holding onto her. Her cheeks were stained with tears.
"Listen to me, it's not just the Adlers, but we need to be brave; we will get out of this together", Joel said to her before opening the door for her. An explosion rocked the street meters away from you. Both Miller brothers were quick to shield you, baby, and Sarah. Emma's cries echoed through the empty street now. You met Joel's eyes briefly. Eyes that were also scared. Worried eyes. "Let's go, guys, we need to go", Tommy jumped in the driver's seat before starting the car.
Sarah was silently crying beside you. Crying alongside Emma. You tried to soothe both of their fears, but with your anxiety being so high, you knew that you could try to hide it all you wanted - they could still feel it. The frantic driving and Joel's shouting at Tommy didn't help much. You pressed Sarah closer to you, her arm falling over Emma's body. You started to hum one of the lullabies. The lullaby that had followed Sarah through her childhood. The one even she sometimes hummed to her little sister if she took over the nap duties. "And in the darkest of nights, the stars shine bright above us. Sleep tight, little one; let the light calm you", you hummed softly. Rocking both of them in your embrace.
The world was falling apart. Houses were on fire. There was so much screaming. "What if it's everywhere?", Sarah muttered, looking up at you. "We'll find a safe place. Remember what your dad told you? We need to be just a tiny bit braver tonight", you said, meeting Tommy's gaze right as he looked up. A plane flew over the car. "The fuck", the younger Miller cursed while watching the ship sway in the sky. "Keep going", Joel encouraged his brother. His arms slipped toward the back. Joel's fingers were running up and down your calve. His way of grounding himself, of making sure that you knew he was there. That he still had this under control. That he was going to get you all out of here.
The chaos was like nothing you had seen before. The screams. The cries. People were running in front of cars. Hitting the sides as they fell. The streets were full. It all felt like a blur and the worst nightmare all at once. Sarah's grip on your hand was deadly. Your fingers had found Joel's hand as you leaned forward. Tommy started to move out of the street. You felt a tug on your hand. Sarah's eyes were gazing through the back window. "Dad" she whispered, "Dad!", this time the word came out more firm and loud. You only managed to see another airplane flying right at you. Then came the crash. The sound of static. Everything moved at lightning speed. You caved into yourself. Hoping to provide as much shelter for the infant with my body, and then everything went black for a moment.
Joel had never been more scared than the moment he crawled out of the car that was now lying on its roof and found your unconscious body covered in bits of glass and blood. Emma's cries soothed him almost; at least he knew she was alive. Sarah moved as well, and Joel let out a somewhat relieved breath. "Babe", Joel touched your leg, but you didn't move. He inched closer, dragging you out of the car by your shoulders. The moment Joel tugged on your hand, your eyes snapped open with a cry.
"Hey, I've got you", he tried to sound calm, but the sight of the blood trickling down the side of your face made him want to tear the whole world apart. Joel pulled Sarah out of the car as well before turning his attention to you. "Does something hurt?", "My shoulder, I think I…", you hissed when Joel's finger came in contact with your skin. "Give me, Em. Sarah, can you walk, baby?", Joel was loosening the carrier from around your body as he gazed at his firstborn. The girl nodded, and you ripped the side of the carry. Crawling toward Sarah and reaching for her ankle. "I'll wrap it tight, okay; it might feel uncomfortable, but you'll be able to move for now", "Mom, your head", she mumbled, fingers reaching for the blood, but you stopped her quickly. "It's nothing, darling. You focus on staying close to us, okay?"
Tommy came up from the other side, glancing over his shoulder. "The military trucks are here; you need to move; go towards the river; I'll meet you there", Tommy said, Joel rocked Emma in his arms as she screamed her little lungs out. She, too, felt the threat without the warmth of your skin. Tommy shrugged off his jacket, draping it over Joel, before helping you stand. "I'll see y'all there", he ushered you to move. "You stay safe", you said to him, and he only nodded. Regardless of his stumbles in life, Tommy was a good man. A loving brother-in-law. Someone whom you cherished. Cherished so deeply. But you couldn't let your sentiments get the better of you now. You needed to get your babies out of this mess. Get them somewhere safe. So you grabbed Sarah's hand, and so did Joel, and you all ran.
The river bank was practically a hand's reach away. Sarah was limping badly. You knew her leg was going to give up at any moment. You pulled her closer to you so she could lean more of her weight on you. Ignoring the pain that shot through your shoulder. Whispering words of encouragement to her. "Stop right there", a male's voice called out. Joel brought you all to a halt as the light from a gun darted onto your body. "We are not infected. My family got into a car crash", yet you could tell that the soldier didn't care about it whatsoever as he inched closer. "I have four civilians by the river. The female is covered in blood, girl limping", he said coldly into the radio, gun still pointed your way. "Please, we", "Shut up", the male roared, and you instantly pushed Sarah behind you. "Joel…", your hand held onto his forearm, but your eyes didn't leave the person in front of you. Something in your gut twisted. A sense of dread almost pulled you down.
"If something happens", "Y/N, don't…", you yanked at Joel's arm, firmly gaping at him. "You fucking take them and run", you muttered through gritted teeth. "Hey, no one told you to move", the soldier shouted, and you moved to face him again. The sound of your breathing was the only sound you could hear as your hand came up over Joel's hip, and you moved forward. The gunfire pierced the air. The echo was almost unbearable. Freezing. Static. Joel must have dragged you to the side after the first shot rang out, making you all tumble down the hill.
All Joel could hear was Em crying and a couple more shots ringing out. He needed to think quickly. He needed to come up with a plan. "Mommy", Sarah's shaky breath followed by a scream, was what got Joel to look up. And he wished he hadn't. He wished this was a dream. Maybe it was? His worst nightmare? What if he pinched himself? Make it all disappear. Make it all stop. "Joel", Tommy called out, reaching for the crying baby, and the moment the girl was out of his hands, Joel was moving towards you, falling over himself but moving to you.
"Hey, hey, love", he muttered. You had two gunshot wounds on both sides. The blood had already soaked your clothes. Sarah's had her hands pressed against your skin as she shook. "Listen to me, Y/N; I'll get you out; I'll make it", but you moved your hand up, gripping his arm. Lips pressed together as you tried to keep yourself from screaming in pain. You had to. For your girls.
Your eyes fell on Em in Tommy's arms; her bright pink cheeks were visible in the night. Your little angel baby. Your girl that you will never get to see grow up. She might not even remember you. You were going to be a distant memory. Just how Sarah's mom was to her. Sarah looked at the blood seeping through your skin. You reached for her, making her eyes snap at your face.
You pulled the last bits of your strength so you would smile at her, "I love you, sun-shine", you breathed out, and burning pain shot through your body, making you close your eyes. "Mommy, please. I… don't… please", she said, moving to wrap her hands around your neck. You breathed in her flowery scent, feeling your eyes burn with tears. Knowing very well that this was the last time you were going to feel her touch and smell her, "Let… mommy and daddy have a moment", you pleaded. Feeling your body starting to crash already. You didn't want her to see you fade away. No. The blood. Everything from tonight was already too much. She shook her head, but Joel grabbed her hands and moved them away from your blood, saying, "Go to Tommy, baby girl".
Joel, however, moved back to pressing down on your wounds for dear life. Even if he could tell, it was hopeless. He couldn't. He couldn't and was not about to let go. "Joel..", you cried out, and he instantly moved your body closer to his. Pulling you against his chest, "Don't go; don't die; you can't die", he croaked out, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. "Hold me", you whispered, feeling the metallic taste in your mouth getting stronger, "I'm here, love. I've got you", Joel pulled you even closer to him, savoring the last bits of your warmth. He hoped it would have been him dying here. It should have been because you three would have been fine with Tommy. But with you gone… What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to live?
"I lo-ve…", "I love you too; I love you so much", your grip on his arm started to loosen as your body shook. Joel got to meet your eyes one more time. He got to capture the depth and warmth of them that he knew he wanted to remember for the rest of his miserable life. "It's okay, it's okay", more blood poured from your mouth. Your big, worried eyes eased. Joel's rocking stayed the same. As if he were swaying you to sleep. As if you two were back home, back in your bedroom, and you had just had a bad dream. A bad dream that Joel was desperate to chase away. "I will always love you. There will never be anyone to replace you. My heart is yours; I'm bleeding with you, dove", he said through the tears.
Then you took a breath in. A surprisingly smooth breath in. Joel looked down at your face. And with a final exhale, your body let go, and the weight of you in Joel's hands told him loud and clear that you were gone. He looked up at the sky, at the stars that shone brightly despite the complete chaos. His body shook with a sob, a sob that guided your soul away from this world. A sob with which a part of Joel died. You took it as you went, and he was never going to be the same.
Tommy didn't rush Joel. Couldn't bring himself to. Sarah was crying with her head buried in her uncle's shoulder, and Emma's choking sobs followed suit. Joel held you till your body was ice cold. His eyes had dried, and he was staring ahead of himself, but he saw nothing. The same darkness that danced within his heart was now dancing all around him. He took your hand into his, carefully taking off the engagement ring from your finger before doing the same with the necklace. He needed something. He needed something from you that he could carry with him.
With you in his arms, Joel stood up. His legs were shaking, but he stepped forward. Tommy rose as well, "Joel, you can't… ", he tried to stop his brother. He understood that parting with your lifeless body was hard, but Joel couldn't carry you around. "We're going", Joel said dryly, as he moved past them. Sarah managed to brush her fingers over your cold skin as her father walked past. "You can't", Tommy tried again, but Joel turned back around, looking feral. "I said we MOVE,", he barked out, making Sarah shiver, and Em only cried more. "Dad,", the older girl tried, but Joel paid her no mind. He couldn't, not now. Acknowledging her would mean that he would have to face reality. And he couldn't. He couldn't fall apart. Especially not now. A shield of coldness embraces Joel as he continues walking through the dark field, still feeling your blood dripping off his hands. Dead.
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stardustsymphony · 1 month ago
Text
the butterfly || theodore nott
part one. part two.
summary: in third year, you and your family moved to america because of your mother's transfer, after her death, you and your father came back for you to complete your studies at hogwarts three years later. like a lot of girls in your year, you had been crushing over theodore nott since first year. but he had never reciprocated those feelings for you, hell, he's not even fully aware you have those. but that was okay, you were fine by just admiring him from a distance —untill you couldn't.
◦ ✿ ◦∘ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ∘◦ ✿ ◦∘◦ ✿ ◦∘ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ∘
Anna sat on the stairs, a slight bemused expression on her face as she watched you pace so fast it almost looked like you were bouncing off of some invisible walls. 
“Are you done now?” Anna asked, her chin on the palm of her hand. “Make sure your heels aren't bruised.” 
You ran your hand through your hair for what seemed like a millionth time in the last fifteen minutes. Sighing, you stopped and looked at Anna, your confused expression mixed with a glare as you saw her amused look. 
“What're you laughing at?” 
“I'm not laughing.” Anna said, standing up and dusting off her skirt. “You both are really similar, you know.” 
“Both?” You couldn't help but ask, even though you had an idea about who she was referring to.
“You and Theo.” The look she gave you clearly said that she knew you knew, so you looked away, staring at the unopened letter tightly clutched in your fist, his elegant and slanted cursive handwriting making your heart beat faster. 
“Honestly, it's like you're channelling all your energy into overthinking this,” Anna said, folding her arms. “Just open it!” 
You glanced up at her and even though her expression was neutral, the excitement in her eyes was hard to ignore. With a knot in your stomach, you nodded hesitatingly and flipped the letter to open it. 
And stopped. 
You couldn't do this –opening a letter had never been so damn hard. What if this was some sort of a sick prank? Or maybe something worse? Maybe he'd seen you staring at him and was asking you to stop?
You shoved the letter in Anna's hands, going around her and sitting further up the stairs, your head in your hands. You didn't look when you heard her sigh, or walk up towards you, you kept your eyes on your shoes when she sat down besides you. 
Pathetic, you told yourself. Can't even open a damn letter.
You finally looked at her when she gently nudged her shoulder against yours. Giving you a reassuring look, she placed the letter in your lap, one side of it slightly wrinkled because of how hard you had held it. You glanced at it then at her, your fingers automatically trying to smooth the crinkled ends. 
“He sent it because of a reason, okay?” Anna said softly, which was so unlike her bossy personality. “He wouldn't have sent it if he didn't want you to read it. And he's obviously waiting to hear from you.” 
The knot tightened in your stomach. “But…what if I open it and it's something, I don't know…bad?” you voiced your doubts, uncertainty pooling in your stomach. “What if he, I don't know, wants me to stop staring—”
“Oh, please.” Anna scoffed, rolling her eyes, her usual self slipping back in. “That boy lives on only two things; food and attention. He'd be smug even if the giant squid is staring at him.”
Was that an insult? “Wait –did you just compare me to the giant squid?” 
She gave you a look. “Just open the damn letter now, will you?” she said, a bit exasperated now. “Look, it's nothing bad, I promise okay? You trust me, right?”
“Yeah,” you answered, a bit of hesitation in your voice. “But how can you be so sure?” 
“As a matter of fact, I'm very sure. I helped him write it, after all.”
Wait, what?
You blinked, trying to process this new information. “You…helped him write it?” 
Anna shrugged, “Technically, yeah.” She said, a glint in her eyes. “I suggested a lot of things, gave him a few sample letters and he wrote the final one. I spent almost three hours in the library yesterday with him, he spent a couple more alone—” 
“Wait, wait, wait,” you interrupted her, your mind a whirlpool of confusion. This new piece of information came out of nowhere and spiked up your heartbeat so much you were afraid it would come out. “You gave him sample letters? Sample letters as in you pretending to be him writing to me?” 
“Correct.” 
You held up the letter. “So this is you, pretending to be him?” 
Anna rolled her eyes. “No, you idiot. I suggested things that he could say to you, gave him examples through sample letters, and he wrote this letter with his own words and my suggestions. He even said he'd add a lot of things by himself, and he's put a lot of thought into it. He wanted it to be perfect.”
Your stomach fluttered at her words, a feeling of curiosity settling in your heart. When you didn't answered immediately, she continued,
“Trust me, if you had seen the original letter he was going to send you, you would have thrown him in the Black Lack and then jumped in yourself too. Honestly, that boy needs to understand how to use words.” She added, more to herself than you. 
You took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself to open the letter. Anna said he spent a lot of time writing this, put a lot of thought into this, so it was bound to be a long letter and you need to prepare yourself for anything that would spill out of those pages. 
Looking at your expression, Anna rolled her eyes. “Okay, now you're just being dramatic. It's literally just a letter.” 
“I have every right to be dramatic.” You grumbled, it wasn't just a letter, it was his letter. You carefully peeled off the wax seal, your eyes narrowed in concentration as you removed it as gently as you could. When you had used stickers to seal your letters throughout your whole life, this felt oddly fancy. And despite the internal tug-of-war raging inside you, you pocketed it –the pastel purple seal with the Nott family crest was way too pretty to throw away. 
“Seriously?” Anna raised an eyebrow, giving you a look as you tucked it away, a teasing glint in her eyes. “You're keeping the seal now?” 
“Shut up, it's nice.” you muttered, taking out the letter from the envelope. It was a single sheet of thick paper, but it weighed as if you were holding the world's greatest treasure. 
You bit the inside of your cheek, another anxious habit, and took a deep breath. Maybe you were being a bit dramatic. 
But it seemed that whatever you prepared for, whatever you were being dramatic for, was thrown out of the window as you read the letter. 
Seeing your expression change from anxious to blank, Anna drew closer to you, searching your face for any expression. “What is it? What did he say?” 
A muscle ticked in your jaw. “How much time did you say he spent writing this?” 
“Well, I'm not sure how much time he spent writing it, but he was in the library for almost four hours—”
“Four hours.” you repeated, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down and pushed your hair out of your face. “He spent four hours writing this?”
Anna's expression flickered, a bit of hesitation in her eyes. “Uh…yeah, why?”
“Nothing,” you forced out, folding the letter and shoving it into the in your bag with more force than necessary. “Absolutely nothing. Just curious.” Your fingers tightened around the straps of your bag, resisting the urge to burn the damn thing to ashes.
“What did he say?” Anna asked, her eyes following your movements. “Let me see.”
You handed her the bag, the knot in your chest tightening. Exhaling slowly, you muttered, “He’s really poetic, you know. Shakespeare of our generation.” You tried to keep the sarcasm at bay, but Anna caught it.
She gave you a wary glance before scanning the letter. “Oh,” she breathed out softly. “Oh, he fucked up. He fucked up bad.”
When you opened it, your heart lodged in your throat, you’d expected long paragraphs confirming your hopes or fears. Instead, you got:
“Can we talk?”
No ‘please.’ Just that.
“I don’t know if I should be flattered or insulted.” You stood, shouldering your bag. Turning to Anna, you tried to stay calm. “You said you helped him write it, right?”
Knowing where this was heading, Anna rolled her eyes and stood, meeting you at eye level on the higher step. “I didn’t suggest that, okay?”
You gave her a disbelieving look. “Yeah, sure.”
“Alright, fine—I did suggest it.” She sighed. “But that was after I snapped at him to write his own damn letter. Guess he didn’t listen.”
You rolled your eyes, a mixture of annoyance and disappointment weighing down your heart. Four hours for this? You had seriously hoped the letter would have been longer, at least a single paragraph would have been nice, something to help untangle the mess in your mind. 
“Whatever,” you said after a beat of somewhat tense silence. “It doesn't matter. He sent a letter, I read it, end of discussion.” 
“What do you mean— hey! Where are you going?” 
“I have classes.” you said over your shoulder as you walked –stormed– away. Your grip on the strap of your bag was so tight, faint crescent moons dug into the leather from your nails. 
“Are you going to meet him?” Anna asked, trying to catch up with you but you were walking too fast. “Or reply?” 
“Meet him where? And when?” you snapped, your frustration was now slipping through your control the more you thought about his damn letter. “And most importantly; why?” 
◦ ✿ ◦∘ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ∘◦ ✿ ◦∘◦ ✿ ◦∘ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ∘◦
Throughout the day, it seemed like the weather was mocking you. It was one of those soft days, as your mother used to say. Sunny, but not too sunny, windy, but it was a cool breeze against your hot, frustrated self. The white clouds floated above you softly, a stark contrast against the blue sky. 
Your disappointment from the morning was now a dull weight in your heart, a weight that kept tugging your lips down in a confused frown. Your disappointment was understandable, but why were you frustrated? You weren't sure. It's not like he had promised you anything and broke it. 
But it sure felt like one. 
Did he actually spend four hours writing that? Or was Anna just pulling your leg? If she isn't and is actually telling the truth, then Theodore must be an even bigger overthinker than you. 
‘If I was in his place, I would have never—...’ You cut your thoughts with a sigh. If you were in his place, you wouldn't have even looked at yourself twice. 
“Miss L/N!”
“Y-yes?” your eyes snapped towards the front of the class, where Professor Snape was giving you an annoyed look. Wonderful, you thought to yourself. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment as you realised everyone's eyes were on you –even Theodore's. 
‘Goddamn, his cheekbones could cut glass.’ You quickly reverted your eyes back towards Professor Snape and mentally slapped yourself, butterflies in your stomach fluttering so much you felt like throwing up. 
“Sorry Professor, it won't happen again.” you muttered out, wishing on all the holy things that you weren't making a fool out of yourself. 
For the rest of the class, you kept your head down and let your hair fall around your face to hide your still burning face. When the bell rang, you didn't jump out of your seat immediately, but instead took your time packing up your stuff. You weren't in a hurry to leave the class, you know that Anna would latch on your back as soon as you stepped out of the class, pursuing you to meet Theodore. 
You zipped up your bag, pretending that you didn't see his letter (that was now crumbled, thanks to your frustration) and how it made your heart race. 
When you stood up, ready to leave the now empty classroom and prepare yourself to run to your common room to avoid Anna, a little purple butterfly landed on your desk and laid still on the surface. 
At a closer look, you saw that it wasn't just any butterfly, it was a paper butterfly. The origami looked so real you had half a heart to not even open it but you still did. You've never seen an origami this neat and were curious to know who made it. 
Inside, a familiar slanted, cursive handwriting greeted you. Your heart speed up at an alarming rate, so you sat down, staring at the note. 
I'll meet you tomorrow? 
– T.N
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taglist: @tomriddleslove , @moonlightfoxs-cantina , @sincerelycarolines , @mqstermindswift , @jetblackpayne , @unicorns1993 , @lovedlorned, @remuslupinsswifey, @keilovr , @bruisedbbby , @pretty-royals
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empress-simps · 8 months ago
Text
Line That Leads To You
Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem! Reader AU: Soulmate AU CW: Language, Genre: Angst with a happy ending (don't worry guys) Summary: You make Sirius realize that having a soulmate isn’t all that bad— that he too, will have his happily ever after.
Note: One of my favorite tropes to write, soulmate AUs! Sirius just needs love and affirmation. I love writing for this! Enjoy! Picture is from pinterest, credits to the owner!
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You know, Sirius never really believed in those pesky soulmates stuff. It irks him to no end, and makes his head hurt.
The topic makes him snappy, bitter, and it leaves him feeling angry. To whom? The world— the one who’s responsible for everything that has to do with soulmates. He thinks it is a bunch of bollocks. It’s a pathetic little concept that everyone seems to be too invested in.
Sirius would be very much happy to tell you it doesn’t really end with a happily-ever-after.
“I’m telling you, Prongs. It’s just a bunch of crap.” Sirius tells James one time at the drawing room in the Potter Manor. James shakes his head, disagreeing with his best mate.
“It isn’t always like Walburga and Orion, Pads.” James gently tells him, eyes swimming with empathy for Sirius. “Just look at me, Lily and I are together, finally.” Sirius can’t help but scoff, shaking his head in a disagreeing manner.
“That’s because you were already pathetically in love with her before you even knew she was the one, Prongs. Same thing for Lily, but she was quite stubborn trying to deny what she felt about you. You guys are actually made for each other.” James lets out a laugh, the memories resurfacing making a love-struck smile appear on his face (Sirius gave him a disgusted look)
“That’s what soulmates are, Pads. You’re supposed to complete each other, balance the other person out” He pursed his lips and sighed, there’s no way Prongs could understand his opinion on the matter.
Complete each other, huh?
Then can someone give him a reasonable excuse on why his parents broke each other? One descended into madness; the other doesn’t really seem to care as long as the noble house of Black lineage will continue.
Sirius bites his bottom lip, deep in thought as he stares at his pinky, willing the connection to be seen; a red string that was tied into a bow that leads to Merlin-knows-where. It serves as a connection; the string that he and only his soulmate can see whenever they want. He tugs on it curiously, awaiting any reaction with bated breath. He almost scrambled away when he felt the other end also tug it. Sirius was utterly terrified, a shiver crawled up to his system, it’s foreign feeling for the Black’s eldest son. It made everything feel too real. A fact that he desperately tries to deny.
That night, before they returned to Hogwarts as sixth year students was the last time he ever willed to see the annoying little string in his pinky, not caring if his supposed other half was finding him or already found him.
Maybe it had to do with his twisted upbringing. He saw how his father cut the string tying him to their mother, the purple string that bound them together turning gray and withering away.
He saw how Regulus flinched, no one should’ve seen a scene like that, but they did. Someone severing their connection to someone who should’ve been with them through better or for worse, the one that fate intended for them. Their life got worse just after that, forcing him to flee and leave his younger brother behind at the deranged hands of Walburga Black.
“You should eat more, Reggie.” You turned towards the quiet and reserved Slytherin, pushing his plate closer to him, which made him wince. “I am quite full.” You raised a brow “None sense, all you did was sip pumpkin juice so you better do as I say or I’ll tell Evan and Junior.”
“Do you know that you boss people around quite well?” He grumbles, shoving a few spoonsful of dinner in his mouth as you hummed in approval, cracking a small smile. “I was told.” Your eyes flickered to the Gryffindor table, it seemed to gravitate you, pulling you in.
Looking down at your pinky, you willed the string to be visible to you. Seeing the red string attached to Sirius Black made your stomach churn; was it butterflies? Unease? You don’t particularly know, having mixed reactions to the string that leads to your other half.
You’ve known for over a year now, keeping it to yourself as you quickly figured out that he wants nothing to do with his soulmate.
“Reggie! Reggie!”
You exclaimed, slapping the poor boy’s arm as he was currently staying in the L/n Manor. He looked in your direction, quite annoyed, he was interrupted reading his book. “I’m reading, Y/n. You know, you should too. It’ll do you some good.” He sassed, trying to find which part he stopped reading. “My soulmate! They tugged the string!” You gushed, “They must be looking for me too, right?” You asked no one in particular, you can still feel the tingles you felt, how your heartbeat picked up, and how you felt like you were in could nine.
Quite the opposite from what Sirius felt, huh?
You never told him, never planned to. It was quite clear what his views are on the concept of soulmates when you saw him snogging different girls every week. It wrecked you; you swore you felt your heart stop beating every time you see him loving a girl other than you even just for a week. It sounds stupid and all, but you would give up everything just to know what it feels like; how he will look at you with love and adoration in his eyes, how his touch and kisses would linger on your body, and how his voice would sound like as his breath fans in your ear, whispering promises of love.
You looked at him from the Slytherin table; so close yet so far.
Regulus noticed, the all too familiar broken look in your face. His heart hurts for you, even if you do not tell him, he already knows. Seeing his brother’s indifference, Regulus’s gaze hardened. How could he have the guts to do this to his soulmate?
The memory of their mother's despair, the way she withered away after their father severed the bond, was etched into his mind. Regulus does not wish for anyone to feel that way, he does not wish upon it even in his worst enemies.
It was a pain no one should endure, a lesson that should have been learned.
Yet there sat his brother, laughing with his friends and willfully ignoring the pulls of his heart. The person who held the other end of this unseen tether, was beside Regulus. Your soul ached as you watched your soulmate. It was a betrayal of the heart's deepest connection, and it stirred a tempest of fury within Regulus that he struggled to contain.
“My brother is foolish. Eat.” He states, pushing your food and placing the cornbread on his plate to yours. She cracks a smile, chuckling. “Alright, Reggie. You’re lucky I love you.” You pat his curls, proceeding to eat the bread, smiling a little. Reggie never really shares his food with anyone, except for you. You’re the only exception.
“Padfoot.” Remus starts, looking out of the window as Sirius lays down lazily in his bed, looking at nothing.
“What, Moons?”
“If I say that I have an inkling on who your soulmate is, would you… look for them?” Remus asked cautiously. Peter and James perked up, eyes wide with shock. How could Remus possibly guess who his soulmate is? Unless… They’re also in Hogwarts?
“Don’t start with that crap, Moony.” Sirius sat up; a scowl displayed in his features as his grey eyes turned stormy.
“Don’t you even feel the slightest amount of guilt in your system as you snog other girls?” Remus frowned.
Sirius’s scowl deepened, his hands clenching into fists. “Guilt? For what, Moony? For not wanting to be chained down by some ancient magic?” His voice was a low growl, barely containing the emotions that surged within him. “I won’t be dictated by fate. I make my own choices, and I refuse to be bound by a bond I never asked for.”
Remus’s expression softened, the lines of concern etching deeper into his face. “It’s not about being chained, Pads. It’s about finding someone who complements you, who understands you in ways no one else can.” He paused, his gaze steady and piercing. “You’ve seen what happens when that bond is severed. You’ve seen the pain it causes. Is that what you want for yourself? For your soulmate who’s probably hurting somewhere?”
Sirius looks down, biting his lip and playing with the rings on his fingers. “I don’t plan on severing our bond, Moons- “
“Then what the fuck are you doing?” Remus spat, Sirius flinched, looking at anything but them. He knew deep down that Remus was right. He can’t deny he also wants to look for his soulmate. The only thing that was holding him back is that he’s scared. What if your story would end similarly like how Walburga and Orion’s did? Dread fills his system as he reflects on how he slowly realized he’s becoming like his father. Peter and James exchanged a glance, the weight of the conversation settling heavily upon them.
“I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “Scared of finding her… Scared of repeating the same mistakes.” He paused, his gaze lifting to meet Remus’s. “But you’re right. I can’t keep running from this. It’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to me.”
James offered a supportive smile, feeling happy for his friend. Sirius stood up, his posture straightening as if shedding the weight of his fears. “I’ll do it. I’ll find her,” he declared, his voice steady. “I owe it to both of us to at least try.”
“That’s our Padfoot.” Remus breathes a sigh of relief as Peter nods encouragingly at Sirius.
The next daylight soon came. Sirius gulps, looking around the great hall, feeling quite overwhelmed at the number of students entering for breakfast, eating, or chatting amongst themselves. For the first time in a long time, he willed the red string of fate to reappear within his vision.
Ah, there it was. The red string connected to someone from the Slytherin table. Sirius felt his heart drop, seeing the end of the string connected to your pinky. “Y/n?” The name left his lips in a hushed awe, his heart skipping a beat as he saw the string connected to your pinky. You, who laughed with such ease beside Regulus, were the missing piece.
Whether it was some brotherly instinct, Regulus looked at him, shooting him a warning stare as if to say: ‘If you hurt her, you’ll never see the light of day ever again.’
Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise, knowing eyes set on his friend. “Found her, Pads?”
“Yeah. Found her, Moony.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” James chimed in, a grin spreading across his face as Peter silently cheers him on. “Go on, before you lose your nerve.”
Sirius took a deep breath, trying to shake off the weight of Regulus’s protective stare. It was a silent challenge, a vow to keep your heart safe from his brother. With a nod of acknowledgment, Sirius stepped forward, crossing the small distance between the Gryffindor table and Slytherin.
“Y/n,” he said, standing before you, the red string pulsing with a life of its own.
You stilled, slowly looking in his direction. Eyes wide with surprise, searched his for a moment before softening. “I was wondering when you’d come around,” you teared up, making Sirius’ heart ache.
Sirius extended his hand, the red string wrapping around both your destinies. “Let’s talk, yeah?”
And in that moment, as your fingers intertwined, Sirius knew that whatever the future held, he had made the right choice. For in finding you, he had found a new path that began to unravel, one filled with hope and courage. The buzz of Great Hall continued, but both of them felt time still, feeling the bond weave into their souls deeper.
Sirius’s and Y/n’s story had its flaws, but it was theirs, uniquely woven by the red strings of fate.
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m3vl0vesu · 2 months ago
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𝑨 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅
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He didn’t smile. 
.
.
That was one thing you noticed about the only other kid in the classroom, one of the many Wayne kids.
 And apparently the only biological one, not that you cared really. His family was none of your business, you should really be more concerned about your own to be honest…never mind. You closed your eyes and sighed, catching the attention of the boy, who was now sitting in your chair. Well it wasn’t yours but it was yours. He watched as  you adjusted the pile of sketching paper slightly to the right, making sure they were all aligned perfectly. He watched you watching the boxes full of dis-arranged paint tubes and bottles, he saw the way your hand twitched at the scene. Weird. 
.
.
It was a Thursday afternoon and every Thursday, after last period,  you would head towards the art room upstairs. It was the only club you ever joined. You got to know everyone there and some even became your friends. But even after the club ended you’d still linger in the room. Even after you'd cleaned up your (and other people’s) mess, and you had put the pencils away, and you had cleaned the paint pots, you lingered. It had become a habit, you enjoyed the quietness. You enjoyed that the only noise you could hear was your breathing. What you didn’t enjoy was that the ‘new’ kid also liked staying behind. 
Ruining one of the only times your mind was quiet…or quieter than usual. I mean it’s not like he was loud or anything no-it was just his presence, you wanted to be alone-no. Needed do be alone. But what can you do? He liked art. He was damn good at it too. 
So there really was no point in being annoyed, just suck it up and deal with it. Like you always do. Why do you always do that? After another sigh, you swing your bag over your shoulder and walk out. You didn’t mean to slam the door, honestly there was no reason for you to be angry, Damian didn’t do anything wrong. Damian. Damian. Ugh. Why was his name also annoying? . . . As you turn the corner you stop abruptly. Looking up you meet the eyes of your Art teacher, Miss Williams, she looked down with an eyebrow raised. You smiled. You really did adore her and her loving nature, she was like a big mama bear. Gotham didn’t deserve her. She was so…her.
 Every other day she had some new fun way to do her hair, today her afro was star-shaped. Fitting. You smile softer, the sound of her voice saying your name pulling you out of your trance. “You're leaving earlier than usual” she states, almost concerned, “is something wrong?” You just shake your head, leaving after a simple goodbye
.
.
.
The bus was almost empty. Your eyes stared at Gotham Academy until it was out of sight. It was a big school, you hated it. 
Hated the rumour-filled halls, the rude pompous pricks that roamed the halls, hated that you were on a scholarship for so therefore could not escape it. And you especially hated how proud your mother looked whenever she saw you in the uniform. As the bus continued to drive you watched the big mansions and penthouses turn into dirty streets and run-down apartments. It was a big difference. Messy, dirty, bloody…home. Your eyes spotted the way the bus driver’s lips tugged upwards as you gave him a small thank you. It was probably the only nice words he heard today, it was probably the only nice words you said today. The worn-out soles of your shoes hit the ground and you begin walking, just a few minutes away from home. Each leaf you stepped on getting more darker than the last, it was almost winter. That meant that after school clubs would be closed. Barely even any schools even have after school clubs in the area, since it’s Gotham. .
.
. After a call with your mother you slowed down, not really wanting to go home. It was quiet on the streets. Oh wait. 
Now it wasn’t. There was shouting, it sounded like two-or more-male voices. You see, there's a rule when you walk the Gotham streets. Do not, whatever you do, look. Just keep walking. And you do. Don’t look. Keep walking. 
Don’t look. Keep walking. 
Don’t look. Keep walking.
Don’t look. Keep walkin- . . . After the very obvious gunshot you heard a distant thud. 
Your feet stopped and your knees felt weak, bile rising in your throat as you stared wide eyes at the pavement in front of you. Don’t look. 
You beg yourself not to turn around. 
So you close your eyes, and beg yourself not to open them. . . . Small arms wrap around you as you lay in bed, your sister mumbling about something going on with her friends. The rest of your journey home was a blur, all you know is that you will not be going school tomorrow. Even if that means lying to your parents. . . .
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>>>>Pt.II
A/N: This is going to be a story based fic with some dark themes. Feel free to click off if any of it disturbs you in any way. I know there wasn’t much Damian in this but there will be more in pt 2! I always try to keep Reader as ambiguous as possible, this is a f!reader fic but you can read no matter what gender! :D Reblogs are always loved and as always Mev loves you!!
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cellophaine · 19 days ago
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Chapter IX: GAME
Masterlist
Pairing: Art Donaldson x F!Reader
Warnings: The big three – fluff, angst, and smut.
Author's Note: have fun with this chapter :)
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GIF Source (I couldn't find the gif when they're at the Cincinnati Masters so let's just pretend that this gif is that gif)
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2019. New Rochelle.
You drove the rental through the city, your eyes roaming over the unfamiliar scenery with a languorous curiosity. The sun was hung high, its view unobstructed by the cloudless sky, casting harsh blocks of shadow onto the street. Despite the storm warning, the only indication was the strong gusts of wind that fluttered the tree branches, wrapping the leaves in their grasp and blowing past your car window.
The Authors' Exchange conference was the reason you came to New Rochelle, which would begin tomorrow and expand over three days. Afterwards, you'd drive to Manhattan and stay with Sophie for a week before heading back to San Francisco. The event organizer, Jennifer Roux, had sent you a message earlier in the day detailing the tour of the conference area that would take place after you'd settled in your room.
The GPS's alert chimed for a right turn. You took it and found yourself heading towards a big advertisement that scaled along the side of a building, featuring Art and Tashi prominently. You sucked in a deep breath as old emotions threatened to bubble. You hadn't seen Art in almost ten years, and during all that time, the brief sight of his face, the casual mention of his name were enough to make your heart clench. Affliction, indifference, frustration, and guilt. They all fought one another to claim their place when you tried to place exactly how you felt. But you could never get it right. It was a mess, and it was different every time. But you had moved on. The old feelings were here a moment and gone the next. It dissipated just as you drove past the wallscape advertisement, heading straight for the hotel.
/
Jennifer was much more bubbly in person than in formal emails, which was something you didn't expect. After gushing over your books, she insisted on taking you to your room herself despite your polite refusal. With the keycard in one hand and your suitcase in another, you followed her into the elevator. A voice called out.
"Hold it, please!"
You stepped back as much as you could to make room for the strangers, drawing your suitcase and bag closer to yourself. Hurried footsteps followed by two blurry forms. Jennifer asked for their floor, and the door closed. Your breath caught at the sight of the taller silhouette.
Art.
His name was a noiseless whisper on your lips. His mouth parted slightly, and his eyes widened as they drilled into you. The shock seemed to mask the hurt and guilt behind his features, but you used to know him so intimately, just like how he knew you. Your eyes latched onto his face, tracing the familiar traits that had changed slightly over time. He looked good, even though you didn't want to admit it. His hair was shorter than when you saw him last. His face was sharper and more angular, as if time was an infatuated sculptor obsessed with their subject, barely taking away his youthfulness and leaving his beauty whole. Your eyes locked, its pull intense and undeniable. A movement drew your attention away from him to the little girl he was with. Her hand was clasped in Art's, and the other tugged on yours.
"Hi."
Her timid voice broke the spell. You forced your eyes away and looked down to address her. Her sweet, innocent face beamed as you crouched down to her level. She looked so much like her mother, but you could see traits of Art in her as well. You responded with a smile of your own.
"Hi."
"I like your cherries."
She pointed to the charm on your bag.
"Thank you. Do you want to feel how soft they are?"
She nodded eagerly. You held out your bag, and she carefully petted the synthetic fabric. She squeezed the cherries in her hand, and you took that moment to ask.
"What's your name?"
She looked up at her dad, and only after getting a nod of approval from him did she turn to you.
"Lily."
You smiled warmly at her, even though your insides were punctured with a thousand little cuts.
"What a pretty name."
Her toothy smile deepened as she shyly thanked you. You introduced yourself.
"I like your name."
"Aww, thank you. You're so sweet."
"This is my dad."
Lily let go of the cherries, using both of her hands to tug on Art's attention, which was temporarily reserved for you. She craned her neck to look up when her dad failed to respond.
"Daddy, say hi."
"I–"
You stared at him, wondering if he was going to say anything at all. But you'd never know. The elevator dinged, announcing your floor. You stood up, extending a sweet smile to Lily.
"This is my floor. It was nice to meet you, Lily."
You rushed out with your luggage, and thankfully, Jennifer was right behind you. The elevator doors closed, and you looked away, refusing to make eye contact with Art despite him seeking you out.
Jennifer left quickly after walking you to your room and reminding you of the tour. In the quiet room with only the hums of the air conditioner presented, you sat on the pristine full bed, your luggage forgotten on the side. Pressing a hand to your chest, you could feel your heart's frantic beat as the memories of what happened years ago came rushing back all at once.
2009. Stanford.
After the fight, nothing was the same. There was a passiveness in your relationship that you were forced to come to terms with. You could keep yourself suspended in denial or cut yourself free of the entanglement and the exertion to keep up the illusion. And you chose the latter. Art rarely called and texted, and even when he did, your conversations were brief and awkward. You took his lack of contact as a sign for you to step back. You ceased all communication with him, even though you still kept his number on your phone. You even went as far as avoiding places you often went to with him. Art seemed to know not to visit the coffee shop. Eventually, by the end of that summer, you fell out. There was no final explosive fight, no goodbyes. Things just ended.
But your mind always strayed back to him. How you'd been a bother, you'd been too much, and this distance was his way of telling you that. The way you completely depended on him for comfort after Christmas made you wince in embarrassment whenever you thought of it. Perhaps he felt like you were a burden. You took that as the truth, and no matter what Art might tell you then, it could never change your mind.
In the two years that followed, unexpected yet welcoming changes were made. Your story was featured in the Stanford paper as the first-place winner's prize, along with a cheque for $500. The exposure caught the eye of your current literary agent, Avery Clarke, who then showed interest in the possibility of representing you. She was from a small agency that focused on finding new writers. After reading through your collections of short stories and much anticipation, she decided to take you on her team. You spread yourself even thinner across school, work and writing. Your book took form in the dimness of late nights, many of which you were accompanied by your roommates. And the hard work paid off. Three publishers expressed their interests, and after a long conversation and lots of consideration, you decided to go with The Paper House. Now, you were waiting in a nervous yet content state while Avery worked on negotiating the finer details of your first book deal. Life and new purposes took over the place Art used to be. But, eventually, he found his way back into your life, as if there was an invisible thread that connected you, and Art was pulling on it.
/
It was early October. You remembered it so clearly. The air was brisk, and the sun was warm, making the perfect weather that you were looking forward to enjoying. Your shift at the cafe ended in the early afternoon. When you came out from the back, Art was there, standing by an empty table near the entrance. He looked good, as he always did. The soft smile that was one of your many weaknesses played with your heartstrings, making your breath catch in your throat. In a polo shirt and jeans, he looked like he came here just for you, and this wasn't a standard smoothie run. His lips parted, and his throat worked to form what he had planned to say into audible words. But you got to it before he did.
"What are you doing here?"
"I … I just wanted to talk to you."
You responded to that with a discontented hum. Art picked up on it.
"I saw that you got a book deal on the newspaper. Congratulations."
You nodded warily.
"Thank you."
"How do you feel about it?"
You shrugged.
"Just fine. It's just a book deal. It's not like it will define my career or anything."
Art laughed softly at your sarcastic response. The low vibrato reminded you of how much you'd missed it.
"Do you want to talk about it over a coffee?"
His tone was casual, yet there was a deliberate calculation as if he was laying down a chess piece and waiting for your next move. You arched an eyebrow at your surroundings.
"Here?"
"No. Somewhere else."
His smile was endearing, and you found yourself persuaded by its charm. You reluctantly agreed. On the stroll to the all-day breakfast bar nearby, the two of you walked side by side but left a distance in between. Your conversation remained formal, but after you'd sat down for some crepes and waffles, it returned to a liveliness that it hadn't been for two years.
"You'll do great. I read your story in the newspaper."
Your eyes on him were nothing if not skeptical.
"You have?"
Not that your win was kept a secret. You just didn't think Art was keeping up with you after your fallout.
"Of course I have. I read the whole thing in one sitting. You have such a brilliant way with words."
You rolled your eyes playfully, and your cheeks warmed at his compliment.
"Thank you. That's just one story, though. How are you so sure of it?"
"I just know."
His smug smirk drew a chuckle from you. Your talk, just like your food, was piquant and smooth. You missed the conversations you had, the casual flirtiness, the way being yourselves felt so easy, like how it was meant to be. You took a sip of your water, watching Art staring back at you from the other side of the table. You tilted your head, enticing him to speak his mind.
"What happened to us?"
"You know damn well what happened."
He chuckled, but when he talked, there was no trace of humour.
"I know. It was my fault. I'm sorry for acting like a dick to you. For what it's worth, I liked you a lot …"
You stayed quiet at the past tense use.
" … and I would be lying if I said my feelings for you had completely gone."
You placed your fork down and levelled him with a guarded stare.
"What are you saying?"
Art took a moment as if he was giving his words great consideration. And after what felt like an agonizing wait, his voice carried the significant weight of his confession.
"I still like you."
You let it settle in. This moment had passed through your head many times before, but you never thought it would come true.
"What about Tashi?"
"There's nothing going on between me and her."
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm being honest. The last time we talked was two years ago. During the summer break, actually."
"Why me? Why now?"
"I was a fool messing up what we had."
And there it was. All that you wanted to hear. Art admitted that there was something akin to love between you, before everything that happened. Your hope was a small ember, and all it needed was the tiniest spark to burst into flame. Your eyes locked with an intensity that nestled deep in your bones. Neither of you could look away.
"Are you asking me for a second chance?"
"No. I'm asking you if I deserve one."
"We'll see."
You continued to see Art after that. It was a second chance at being casual friends, and things almost went back to how it was before. But something was different this time.
You remembered not leaving Art's single room until the morning the night you slept with him for the first time. It had to be his room because, by that point, Ashley and Grace were unaware of your involvement with Art. If they did, they would strongly oppose your reunion, as they knew all too well about the aftermath in 2007.
His skin was soft and warm, and the way he draped over your body made you arch against him for more. Art kissed his way down to your body, worshipping every inch of your skin with fervour kisses, drawing whimpers from your clenched lips. As eager as he was to taste you, the man knew how to tease you until you begged for it. And when he did, your body shuddered in response. He worked you up with his tongue, swirling it over and over on your dripping lips and sensitive clit before dipping it into your entrance. Your hips bucked into his mouth, seeking for release, but he had none of that. With one hand over your belly, holding you down, the other was two fingers deep into your cunt; he was relentless. You came quickly after that, and all you could think of was how much you wanted him. You pulled him up to meet your lips in a sloppy kiss. Your hand skimmed down the length of his torso, and when you almost reached what you wanted most at that moment, he stopped you with a hand on your wrist. His flushed face tinged with a little embarrassment, and the stickiness under your calf told you what you needed to know. You shared an awkward laugh, and you pulled his face down so you could kiss his forehead. Pushing him back onto the bed, you took over by crawling down the length of his body until you reached his leaking cock. You touched him with tenderness, and it didn't take much coaxing and sucking until his cock became hard again. Art was gentle and took his time with you, slowly working you up to your climax with his thickness pushing all the way in and out. In the final moments, your bodies worked in tandem; your hips were pressed flush against each other. The fervorous thrusts, the barely contained moans and the creaky sound of his twin bed helped create an obscene sound in the small room. You came just moments before he did. Afterwards, as you basked in the afterglow and the sweat of your bodies, you chuckled to yourself.
"If we did this two years ago, we wouldn't have broken up at all."
That drew a laugh out of him. You found yourself falling for Art again. He felt the same. Your lives were better with the other in it, and that was enough. You didn't put a label on your relationship, but you mutually agreed that you were exclusively seeing each other. The ever-evading title wasn't a cause for concern, especially now that Art hadn't talked to either Tashi or Patrick in a while. You were surprised when you found out about the latter but didn't inquire further. All you cared about was Art, and how good it felt to have him back.
2010. Mason, Ohio.
Art had been on a good streak during the Cincinnati Masters tour. He was heading to the next rounds with ease. And you were there to cheer him on for every match. You graduated with honours back in May, and now that your first book was on its way to the production stage, your life finally felt like it was under your control. The water was still and peaceful, but you should have known better than to blindly believe that nothing could disturb it. The ripple came in with shoulder-length hair and a slim body, the object of your deeply rooted self-contempt, of the haunting idea that you weren't good enough for Art despite telling yourself that you weren't the same person anymore. You had changed.
But some things were harder to forget and forgive.
You were watching Art and his coach practicing from the outside of the fence when Tashi came in. When you noticed her, she waved, her languid pace undisturbed, as if she was in control of everything and everyone around her. Helplessness surged as you thought about how Tashi was too close to Art for your own comfort. You put on a smile, hoping that it didn't look strained.
"Hey Tashi."
"Hey. It's nice to see you again."
"You, too. How have you been?"
"Oh, uh, I've taken some time off tennis to recover."
You thought it was strange how Tashi seemed to think of herself as a tennis player first and a normal person second. But since she mentioned that, you asked.
"When can I see you back in court?"
Tashi went quiet at that. She briefly looked down at her shoes before answering.
"I'm not sure yet."
There was a kind of pensive sadness in her eyes, and you found the Tashi in front of you now were miles away from the Tashi you often watched on the tennis court a few years ago. Your heart broke for her. Tennis seemed to be her whole life, and from the sound of her answer, it was now something that would always be out of reach.
"I'm sorry. I thought you were here to compete as well."
"No, I'm not. I'm just Katerina's hitting partner. She's the one who's competing."
Tashi looked over to Art and waved at him. You craned your neck to see that Art had seen her as well, his hand lowered from reciprocating her. She then turned to you.
"Anyway, I'm here because they told me that Art was here. And I wanted to talk to him."
You nodded and looked at your watch.
"I think he'll be done soon."
His practice ended five minutes later. You walked to him, and your innate need to stake your claim compelled you to put on a show. You pulled Art into a hug despite the playful protest he put on because of his sweaty shirt, and when you pulled away, you kissed his cheek and whispered.
"Looks like you guys need to catch up. I'll leave for the restaurant and get us a table. I'll see you there?"
"See you there."
You left the court, but not before looking back to see them talking. You turned away as old insecurities threatened to resurface.
/
After that day, Tashi sat in the audience for Art's matches. You knew because she often opted for the bottom row while you went for the higher view. During Art's semi-final, you couldn't be there as you had a meeting with Avery and The Paper House in Norwood. You made it to the court as the match had ended; some people were waiting around for Art's signature and photos. You weaved your way into the court and stopped dead at the entrance. Even though they were only talking, your jealousy and insecurities coloured it into something else. They looked good together. Her height almost matched his. The way Art listened to Tashi, his attention was fully wrapped in every syllable she uttered and hand gestures she made. You stayed quiet for most of the ride back to the hotel, even though you should've put on a smile, a show, anything because Art made it to the final. Later that night, during dinner, the weight of your thoughts had become so unbearable that you surrendered yourself to its whim. You didn't even look away from your plate when you spoke.
"It's nice to see Tashi doing so well."
"Yeah, it is. She had a tough time after her injury."
"Oh yeah? How do you know?"
"She told me."
"Oh, right."
You fell into silence again. What Art had to say next drew your attention away from the dinner that you had no appetite for.
"I'm thinking of asking her to be my assistant coach."
You angled your head to look at him fully. Apprehension filled your tone.
"Why?"
"I think … she can make me a better player."
"But you're already great. You're in the final. You've beaten so many guys to get here."
"I want to be better than great."
You leaned back on your chair.
"And you think Tashi can help you with that?"
"Yes, she gave me some helpful tips after the match. She really watched the way I play and gave me corrections and they were things I didn't even notice."
You looked away from Art, your voice verged on bitterness with sarcasm as its coat.
"Right. To me it sounds like you want to spend more time with her."
"We were friends."
"Just like how you and I are friends?"
"That's unfair. It's different with us. We're seeing each other."
"But we're not exactly dating, are we? You're not my boyfriend, and I'm not your girlfriend."
"Isn't that what we both agreed on? That we would take it slow?"
You didn't like it, but he was right. Your answer was only a whisper.
"Yes."
"I guess we can both agree on that, then."
Dinner ended in an uncomfortable silence. It stretched on as you ignored Art on your walk back to the room. Tension brewed and bubbled, and it was only a matter of time before it exploded. You dropped your bag on the desk with a heavy thud, and Art couldn't stand your deliberate shun anymore.
"Could you please tell me what I did wrong?"
"No, you didn't do anything wrong."
You shrugged, pretending to be busy with unloading your bag.
"Can we not do this, please? Can we just celebrate my win tonight?"
"You can celebrate with Tashi."
Art was taken aback by your words if his brief silence was an indication.
"Why would you say that?"
"Go ahead, and call her. You have my permission."
He touched your arm, which was still moving as if you suddenly needed to empty everything.
"Please, stop. Can you please look at me?"
You jerked your arm away from his touch and whirled around to face him.
"Be honest with yourself. Don't you want to spend more time with Tashi? Don't you wish that she was here right now, in my place?"
"Is this because I talked to her? You can't possibly condemn me for that."
"Yes, I can! You basically ignored me when she came around three years ago after her break up with Patrick, who was your best friend, by the way. Sorry if I'm still sensitive about it."
Art stepped back as you leaned onto the table. It felt nice and awful at the same time, being able to say what you'd thought about.
"Tashi's just looking out for me. She sees who I can become, and I can become so much better."
"What about me? What about what I think? I think you're great already."
Art's face was flushed with a simmering anger.
"If I'm so great, why have I never won a game against a nobody?"
It took you a moment for it to click in. He was talking about Patrick. It renewed the anger inside of you.
"For fuck's sake! Is that all you guys talk about? Fucking tennis?"
"It's what I do."
"You know she's just using you to get back to tennis, right? It's all she's ever talked about."
"It's what we're both passionate about."
Art's willful ignorance irked you, and you exploded.
"Can't you see it? She wants to get back out there as a player and she can't and it's making her miserable. One day, you'll realize she has never seen you more than a mean to live through."
He pointed an accusing finger at you, and you felt like you were pinned down under his gaze.
"That's cruel, and you know it."
"It's the truth."
Despite the nonchalance in your tone, your voice said otherwise. You didn't even realize the tears that had run down your cheeks. Art's red-rimmed eyes stared back at you. His jaw ticked, working to put the thoughts in his head into words. And they cut deeper than a knife.
"This relationship will never work if you can't trust me."
"I'm sorry that I have trust issues. It's not like you've never given me any reasons to doubt you, right?"
"Are you talking about Tashi again?"
"Of course I am. She's always been a problem to us."
"No, she's not."
"Yes, she is."
Your name formed on his lips, a beautiful sound in the gravel of his voice.
"I love you."
The argument that poised on your lips held itself in place. You felt like the air in your lungs was sucked out of you in the three syllables that Art uttered. The world slowed, and you could hear the thunderous beat of your heart. If this was a perfect world, you would be over the moon. You would kiss him until neither of you could breathe and whisper those words back to him, and everything would be fine. But this was the real world, and you were a creature of pragmatism and self-destruction. Your voice shook, knowing that this would be the end of you and Art.
"Do you really love me for me, or do you love me because Tashi wasn't there?"
"How could you say that?"
"Let's be honest with ourselves. You know it, and I know it. You've always loved Tashi more. For as long as she is around, I will always be second. And I really, really, don't want to feel that way again."
Art shook his head. You closed the distance in between and held Art's face in your hand. You caressed his jaw, smudging the wetness on his cheek and whispered.
"You can love more than one person, Art. I just don't want to be put second to someone else. I don't want to wait around for love and, approval and affection. I'm tired of having to beg for it, like I did with my parents."
Art held onto your wrist, squeezing it softly.
"Please don't leave me."
With an equally shaky voice, you forced yourself to say it.
"I need you to make up your mind. Or else, I will do it for you."
"I can't."
"I know."
The finality of your situation settled in, and deep down, you knew that it was for the best. You wouldn't be able to support Art like Tashi would. Tennis was everything to Tashi, and you, on the contrary, were only an outsider looking in. She would be able to help Art achieve his professional goals. What would a writer like you have anything to offer to an athlete like him?
"Can you hold me until I fall asleep, please?"
You nodded, kissing his forehead. You settled in the softness of the bed, with his head on your chest. He slept soundly next to you while you were wide awake. Morning came, and you quietly packed your stuff and left. No note, no goodbye. There was nothing else you could say that could change the situation. Even though you blocked his number, you still looked out for news of him. You convinced yourself that you were okay with your decision. You were selfish; you couldn't share. You'd rather have none than half of him. In the end, you were unable to come to a compromise. You left Art, knowing that he loved you, too, and that somewhat soothed the ache that seemed to be a permanent attachment to your heart.
The news of his engagement to Tashi was everywhere in 2011. Your heart shattered all over again. Even though it caused you so much pain, you still tried to be happy for him. You truly loved him with every fibre of your being. But from then on, you avoided news from Art, hoping the physical and virtual distance could heal you.
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