#and almost everyones an asshole except for helly

[light-everything-in-pink]

any headcanons about

uhh

poli in "a sunny day in broomstown" bcuz it seems interesting, and I need motivation to finish my pending drafts 😞)

ASDIB!Poli aka Mr. Robinson headcanons! (Mix of Funcanons™, Lorecanons™, and THEFUCKcanons™)

•Most (if not all) of my Human Poli's had been retired as a legitimate police officer, and were mostly deputies of their respective towns (if they have a concept of deputy).

Robinson, however, has the shortest span of duty, being just 4 years! This is due to a raid incident where one thing went wrong and...well...

Bodies scatter outside of an exploded building.

•Robinson once liked mysteries and ghosts and had once formed a Scooby Doo-esque team and fucked around with abandoned houses and forests. In that sweet sliver of puberty, he found the tapes of a cancelled 70s show called "A Sunny Day In Broomstown" and took it with him. He quickly lost interest at watching it until years later.

•Has a MASSIVE collection of newspaper, and for some odd reason, it's newspapers from the 70s to the 90s...

•Still afraid of bugs, and always have a bug swatter under his matresses. He even bought an electric one some time ago, although he was unable to utilize it anymore since him getting trapped happened a few weeks after.

And speaking of fears, he is oddly afraid of fires and getting burned, so much so that he owns 3 pairs of mittens he always wore like layers.

•Even when he was stuck inside the tapes, Robinson/"Poli" (like some AUs that is not his real name) still has back pain and nearsightedness :)

The Narrator has no idea how to 'fix' it, and last time he tried doing so, it just made Robinson further hate him.

Speaking of him, Robinson loathes the intangible voice narrating the tapes containing the show (of the same name as the AU). By far, this AU has the worst Polroy variation to ever exist, since those two hate each other, despite Narrator trapping Robinson because he is lonely, and Robinson just being blunt in general.

•Robinson had basically adopted ASDIB!Helly/Harley Robinson when the latter's parents died mysteriously, which includes Robinson's half-sister. Robinson and Harley have been extremely close nowadays...especially as they are the only one left with each other.

•Robinson plays the guitar and had played it to comfort Harley. And the Narrator giving him a guitar is the only thing Robinson had genuinely liked about him so far....but he can't tell him that he is constantly listening to the oddly nostalgic songs and his voice

•Has quick intuition but poor sense of awareness regarding the state of reality. Not in the way he was ignorant of worldwide issues, but rather he isn't aware when people are not acting like they usually/should be. This has been weaponized against him by Writer so that he won't notice that EVERYONE ELSE IN BROOMSTOWN FELT LIKE PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR SOULS.

•Is in constant denial of his homosexual feelings

•Sometimes have weird dreams of being with someone male and everything about that type of dream feels blurry and then extremely painful like WHYAMIBURNINGWHYAMIBURNING—

•Has the "Most Depressed Poli Award" out of all Poli's and is basically Canon Poli if given depression and emotional issues

•Will ALWAYS win an argument, even with an intangible voice that is likely omniscient in just his own field.

And just so you know: everything ever mentioned have meaning or will soon gain it. Nothing listed points to dead ends, as there is no such thing as dead ends in ASDIB: just further clues of clues.

"Have a sunny day! God, this is annoying...."